#i am sick and dying atm

[builtlikeastickofcelery]

guess what

[mamagabi-s-corner]

hitting you with the love beam

Ckfkkfkfkkfk thanks, needed that!

[justporo]

Astarion owns property in my head at this point. Can I request for Astarion and Tav where they finally settle down after everything with the Absolute is over and has finally calmed down, and Tav immediately gets extremely sick. Nothing deadly, but still severe. After all the stress from the tadpoles and fighting for their lives, Tav's body kinda just gives out. I'd imagine Astarion would be at a complete loss at taking care of someone, let alone someone that sick lol probably gets scared they're dying too

Oh, Anon, I feel you. It's not that he lives in my head rentfree, no! He owns the building and makes ME pay the rent by now...

This request resonates a lot with me, today, because I'm frankly barely holding on atm, my stomach's acting up and I can't wait for the finishline for this week... so I too could actually use some Astarion taking care of me - although if that might help? Let's see! (Spoilers ahead)

This is pure ridiculous fluff btw. And thank you for the sweet request!

Pairing: Astarion / GN!Tav (You) Wordcount: 1,5k

Strawberry Sugar High

You hadn't left the bed for the better part of a week and you felt you had contracted most every kind of ailment that one could suffer from under this sun. You felt shaky and dizzy. Your limbs hurt and felt weak. Your stomach was in a weird limbo of feeling strange and barely allowing you to keep anything down. Radiating heatwaves making your whole body sweat came and switched places with icy chills so even the coziest of blankets couldn't stop you from shivering. You were down bad - and Astarion almost scaled the walls not knowing what to do with you or how to take care of you.

"My sweet, I brought you...", Astarion started to announce cheerfully as he opened the door to your bedroom with a bowl and a steaming mug in his hands. Then he saw how you had hogged every possible piece of fabric in your giant joint bed and had wrapped yourself in it. At the sight of it, Astarion's shoulders slumped visibly and with it his procured goods - which almost caused scorching hot tea to splash on the floor.

“…some fruit and tea”, he finished audibly distraught and walked over to sit somewhat next to where you had rolled up into a mess of sheets and blankets and were silently shivering. He carefully placed down mug and bowl on the nightstand before he turned to the pile that you had become.

“I really thought you were getting better, my love!” The sad and suffering puppy eyes he made at you almost made you think he was the one to be worried about.

“Y-you say t-that every-ytime you le-leave the room and co-ome back, A-Astarion”, you replied through shattering teeth which sadly took the edge off of your snide remark.

“I know, love. Because every time I hope you might would have started to feel better. But you’ve been like this for almost a week and yet no improvement in sight. You have me worried sick!”, he dramatically explained.

The shivers temporarily left your body to allow you to give Astarion a death stare – the audacity of this man. “I am so terribly sorry that I dare put you through th-this. Now please h-hand me the t-tea!”, you sarcastically replied and worked your hands out of the mountain of blankets to stretch them out towards the nightstand where the vampire had placed the mug.

Astarion handed you the mug. “Careful, it’s scorching ho…”, he said while you grabbed it from him and placed your palms around the hot ceramic and sighed at the bliss of warmth.

Astarion stared at you as if you had turned into an ox.

You took in the smell of the fresh brew and sighed again – pine needles, mint, chamomile, and a hint of lavender. You took a sip slowly because it was actually really hot and closed your eyes for a second. The hot drink temporarily made you feel better.

“You really got the right mixture down now, Astarion, thank you!”, you said as you opened your eyes again and smiled broadly at the vampire who had swung his legs onto the bed and crossed them by the ankles – bare feet sticking out of the pant legs – to sit beside you. At your compliment his face lit up, his eyes filling with sincere joy.

“Well, I’m happy to hear I am proficient at taking care of you, my sweet sick darling”, he said and raised one of his eyebrows in arrogant manner. “Well, let’s not forget the time when you didn’t strain the pine needles or when you tried to make mushroom soup and created bile”, you replied to his cocky demeanour and then took another sip of tea. The shivers were really calming down now.

Astarion’s mouth became a straight line. “Well, I am sorry, but it’s been over two hundred years since I last had to know my way around a kitchen – you’d be surprised how easily forgotten mundane things are”, he pouted but stretched out his arm to rub circles on your back – or what he thought must be your back under the thick padding of fabric.

You were fairly certain, Astarion had never really known his way around a kitchen, but you really didn’t want to rub it in since he was actually trying so hard to take care of you. And he had really been worried sick about you since it seemed he had also forgotten how much impact even a rather harmless sickness could have on a mortal body.

“Feeling better now?”, Astarion asked while he kept rubbing your back. This time there wasn’t a hint of sarcasm or arrogance in his tone, just a sincere, caring question.

“I am. Thank you, my heart”, you answered and turned a bit to him to give him another smile. “I guess after everything that happened my body was just in dire need of a break – and now forced me to take it. I guess in a few days I’ll be merrily dallying around again”, you spoke as you looked at Astarion but then spied past him to where you had seen something of interest in the bowl he had brought.

“I’m happy to hear that, my sweet, because I don’t know…”, the vampire replied with a smile then furrowed his brows as he saw your focus shift past him and you leaned to look behind him. He made to lean with you. “My beautiful eyes are up here, my love”, he murmured playfully.

But you craned your neck now to see what it was he had brought you – broad shoulders and handsome face be damned. “Gods, are those strawberries?” “Indeed, sweetheart.”

Your mouth opened and you stared at Astarion in anticipation: “Where did you get them? Those are not in season for a few more months! I love strawberries, they’re my favourite fruit, no, food!” Your eyes gleamed at the vampire who replied with a smug grin: “I know, darling. I am actually a good listener in case you hadn’t noticed yet.”

You stretched to give him a kiss which almost resulted in you falling over and spilling all of the remaining tea. Your heart filled with an incredible amount of joy – not only because there were strawberries to be had, but because you felt so seen by your soulmate. You smiled at Astarion. “Indeed, you are”, you happily cheered him. He smiled back just as warmly.

“I got them from a place where they magically empower the crops. It did almost cost me an arm and the rest of my dignity though, but here we are”, he explained jokingly to which you raised an inquisitive eyebrow at him.

“Feed me!”, you then demanded excitedly when he didn’t spill any more details. To which the vampire grinned even more broadly, showing his sharp fangs in the process. “Oh love, I am more than happy to indulge you in this pleasant reversal of roles”, he crooned and turned around to grab the bowl of fruit while you kept sipping on your herbal tea.

He grabbed one of the deep red fruits and slowly lifted it to your already excitedly opened mouth. You were almost salivating, as Astarion offered you the berry, holding it elegantly in his long, slender fingers. The fruit almost touched your lips, but then, at the last possible moment: the vampire flicked it in his own mouth with his thumb.

Your mouth stayed open but now in a desperate expression while Astarion chewed. His facial expression became confused then pleasantly surprised, not even looking at you for a moment. “Oh dear, these are actually rather good. I had almost also forgotten how good these taste. I haven’t eaten a strawberry in forever.” He gave a quick high-pitched laugh while still looking a bit confused. This certainly had awoken a memory he had probably thought lost forever. But still – weren’t these for you?

“Excuse me, my tragic darling vampire, I really love you rediscovering your love for these mortal pleasures known as fruit, but weren’t these meant to soothe my sufferings?”, you said and pouted at Astarion. He readily replied by finally offering you one – for real this time, while he smirked at you and stole another one for himself.

As you bit down the taste just about exploded in your mouth. They were perfectly delicious and sweet. You sighed blissfully and let your head fall back with closed eyes. You were definitely feeling better by the minute.

“So good! Thank you so much for getting them – I feel so much better already!”, you said to Astarion and shimmied over to him to first lean past him and put the mug on the nightstand and then hugging him – arms extending from your ball of blankets.

Astarion pressed a kiss to the crown of your head. “You’re welcome, my love. Now – share the rest?” “Only if you promise to get more tomorrow!”

The pale elf threw his head back and laughed. “If that is what it takes to nurse you back to health, I am more than happy to oblige, sweetheart”, he promised with a chuckle before he gave you another of the sweet berries and then popped another strawberry in his own mouth.

Author's note: Okay cool, where do I get strawberries now? Hope you enjoyed!

[psiirockin]

DESPITE THE UNFORTUNATE SIDE EFFECTS … CONGRATS ON THE HRT

THANK YOU!!! The changes are very big and new to me so it’s taking me a while to adjust. I am sick while also getting some uncomfortable symptoms ATM so it’s a bit of a pain but I’m still happy w/ my results so far.

Hooray for gender euphoria but not so hooray for dying from the southern heat stacked ontop of testosterone making me 100x hotter. LOL

[hikarry]

I'm studying the Charlemagne Empire in college atm and, boy, am I brewing some Ineffable Husbands scenarios

Imagine Aziraphale as a bishop and Crowley as a Count or even a Countess

"Crowley? Apologies for the intrusion but your maid let me in and told me you were here." Aziraphale opens the door to the dinner hall. He is met with Crowley, indeed, but also her husband and a handful of maids, serving lunch. "Oh, apologies."

"Bishop Aziraphale!" Count Attaway gets up from his chair quickly and bows slightly, walking towards the angel. "How may we assist you? I mean," He shakes his hands quite nervously. "It's a pleasure to have you here, of course."

Aziraphale smiles and waves his hand in a silent request for the man to calm down.

"Everything is alright, Count Attaway. I actually came because-"

"I needed to confess." Crowley smiles gently, completely ignoring her husband that now stared at her, to instead pin down Aziraphale. She got up, pushing past the Count and walking up to Aziraphale, bowing quickly. Aziraphale opened his mouth to talk, but Crowley looked down at him. "Shall we?"

"-Of course."

They both leave the Count and the dinner hall behind. Crowley was walking quickly on her high heels, careful not to step on her dress. It was a ordeal for Aziraphale to be able to keep up with her, to be honest. Maybe he should cut on the pork? Or maybe he should have worn something lighter?

Following her through the known corridors, they finally got to the Countess chambers. Crowley opens the door and hurries inside.

"Move, move, move, move!" She holds him by the forearm and pulls him inside, closing the door behind him and leaning her back against it.

"You're certainly in a hurry."

"Observant." She distracts herself by pulling hairpins from her hair, long curly ginger locks falling from the complicated updo they were in before. "Is this the moment I kneel in front of you, oh my mighty bishop?" Aziraphale gasped. Crowley snorted, pushing her finally loose hair to her back. "What? Wouldn't be the first kneeling in front of you, would I?"

"No. Not at all." Aziraphale tries to look everywhere but at her. "But you make it sound-"

"Dirty?" She starts walking towards him, and Aziraphale starts walking backwards. "Sinful?" They keep going, more into the bedroom. "Tempting?" Aziraphale's hips bump against a desk and Crowley traps him with her arms in each side of his body against said desk. She lifted an eyebrow, waiting for an answer, that trutfully never came. Not that she had given him enough time to process. Before he noticed, she was already a few steps away, taking off her shoes. "I'm dying to change into male again. These shoes are way too uncomfortable and the dresses are way too warm for this weather. Why must men always get the better wardrobe? Sure, women's are prettier, but it's not worth it at all. Have you tried to ride a horse while we-"

"My dear." Crowley stops rambling and looks up at the angel. "You had something to tell me?"

She crossed her arms over her chest, visibly biting the inside of her cheek,

"Yeah, so. I've been pretending to be sick for like three months now and I'll soon kick the hellish bucket."

"You what?"

"I'm gonna die. Pass away. One foot in the grave. Yes? Keep up, angel."

"I am listening, I just don't know why do you need to do this so suddenly."

"My assignment is over and I got a new one. I need to get close to Charlemagne. Nudge him to the dark side. Help him build the empire."

"Oh...So, you're going back to the capital?"

"Yup. I plan to be dead by tomorrow and as soon as that's over and done with I'm out of this place."

Aziraphale changed his weight from a foot to the other, clearly uncomfortable.

"Hum. Right. Why did you feel the need to inform me?"

"Because!" She takes a few steps to close the distance between them. "We could work together, angel. You know, lend a hand when needed? I might need you for this assignment and-"

"I am not helping you gaining a soul to Hell, Crowley!" He pushed her gently away, opening a passage so he could put distance between them once again. "Out of the question!"

"Aziraphale. Angel. You're not listening-"

"There's nothing to listen to! I'm not helping you. Ever! Its outrageous you even consider I would ever say yes to some...some nonesense like that! Ah! An angel? Helping a demon?" He ran his hands down his face. "It just doesn't happen. Can happen. Will never happen." He fixed his colar, speaking fast. "Yes. It was nice seeing you, but I'm going back to the monastery. I actually have serious work to do."

"Angel-"

"Good day, my lady."

The angel leaves the chambers, closing the door strongly behind him. Crowley takes a few deep breathes, trying to control the poison that was starting to run through her veins. She ran her hands down her long hair and closed her eyes for a moment. If Aziraphale didn't want to help, he wouldn't help. Maybe it was better this way. Perhaps a few more centuries away from each other would make her start disliking Aziraphale, like a good little demon should. The good little demon she would certainly never be.

[vasyandii]

KRUEGERNAK SICK HEADCANONS

(I'm sick atm so I'm passing it on the them)

Beforehand: These are just my personal headcanons, they're just for funsies so please don't take them seriously :0 they can change over time!

KRUEGER:

Krueger doesn't get sick often, probably ate dirt as a kid so his immune system is hella strong. However, when he is sick, it's terrible. He's needy, annoying, whiny,and dramatic. Nak would complain about having to take care of him but she would be doing stuff like giving him a cold cloth, making him soup, petting his hair, etc. Like;

-"Phayvaaanh"

-"Whaaaat."

-"I'm dying."

-"You're not dying."

-"Yes I am, I am dying and you are letting me DIE, Phayvanh."

-Preparing to make him soup, "Well stay dead. You're so noisy."

NAK:

Nak refuses to believe that she's capable of getting sick, so being visibly sick kind of hurts her pride a little. She would try to continue doing housework and such instead of resting. Krueger would tease/make fun of her for sounding congested but make her tea (he's not a good cook so that's the best he can do), Wrap her tightly in blankets so she physically cant overwork herself, and complain a little less about the shitty reality TV she watches

-Sounding very congested, "Can you get me a cough drop?"

-Pinching his nose "Ca' I ge' yu a coff drooop?"

-"Youre awful."

-Reaching for the bag of cough drops,"Jaaa Natürliiich, Ich kann dir einen 'coff drop' besorgen, Baby"

-Too sick to try and wrap her head around translating what he said, "...Shut the hell up."

[hawkeyefrommash]

Hello, I am a human medicine student from Gaza City. I am asking you for urgent help in publishing the link for my family and delivering it to people interested and able to help us. I did not want to do that, but the tragic situation we are living in is what made me have to do this. I feel sad and helpless, after we had Everything, we are now homeless on the streets, we live in a tent next to a dilapidated public toilet and there is sewage, filth and waste everywhere, we sleep on it! We suffer from terrible heat, insects and scorpions, the danger of death, bombs and missiles, in addition to hunger of course, and the danger of pollution and terrible diseases.Especially digestive, respiratory and reproductive! My younger siblings are suffering and very sick. They are terrified of everything, especially scorpions and insects. My father and mother cannot bear it any longer. You have the right to imagine that when you spend your life building for yourself and your children to live a decent life, all of this goes away in the blink of an eye, and now when you reach the age you should To rest in it, you are forced to start over !!? , but the most important thing now is to try to stay alive and protect your children from all the factors of death that surround us! I ask anyone who has humanity or conscience to feel our situation and put himself in our place. How can a person who has lived with dignity all his life accept this? We are dying slowly every day. Please, if anyone can help, even if just a little, do not delay! Your little means a lot to us!

https://gofund.me/5f12ba33

this fundraiser was vetted here (line 225 atm)

[pinkydevil16]

hi!

i promise part 5 is coming i'm just really ill atm and refuse to call out sick to work so my free time is taken by sleeping and dying! But i am slowly writing! Sorry for the delay!

[starlightandetherealshadows]

Completely unrelated but the last ask made me want to say it- it’s totally plausible for aliens to absolutely get dumpstered by the common cold. Especially human-like ones, as long as they have some sort of comparable biology, and aren’t like a gas being or something, it’s possible. Diseases make cross species jumps all the time. I remember one disease- the name eludes me atm, but it’s basically a common cold for cows. But when it makes the jumps to humans, it kills us. Not because it’s good at being a disease, but because it’s bad at it. It doesn’t recognize our biology so it’s very bad at not killing us.

Good afternoon, anon!!!

I want you to know that this ask has made my day because i love a fun fact and I actually went to go look up that disease for cows (it's the mad cow disease! it affects the central nervous system of our brain) I had heard of mad cow disease but not to this depth!

So you're totally right!

X sneezes for the first time and is like "that is it. that was my final breath. I am dying." They're such a baby when they're ill. (Z is the biggest baby though out of the Lonely Loser Survivor's Club when it comes to illness)

They're just like me fr. I am the worst when I'm sick because it happens so rarely. I get a stuffy nose and I start googling tombstones.

I hope you have a lovely day! You can send me fun facts anytime! ♡ ♡

All my love,

Cheye

[charmspoint]

Hello one and all and welcome back to 'Rin Onodera is catboy Jin' conspiracy board, a theory I have made up and will die defending even though there is only like 1% of any kind of proof UNTIL NOW

So chapter 78 of Talentless Nana, fucking soul crushing, am I right?

Onodera siblings chapters have given us a really good look into Rin as a person as well as a lot of delicious little Kyouya fun facts, but this is v much about Rin. She and Kyouya are orphans, their mother dying at an young age and their father dying at about the time Kyouya was looking into college. Rin is very sickly and providing for her and taking care of her is taking a lot out of Kyouya to the point he completely stops sleeping just because he needs the time and he won't die from it. This leads to the feelings of being a burden in Rin. Because she's sick she can't do anything, help out in any way and is only making Kyouya's life harder, him working multiple jobs along studying and putting his dreams and aspirations on hold for her. This feeling of helplessness leads to feelings of wanting to die, as if she can only see herself doing some good if she releases Kyouya from this supposed burden. As Kyouya explicitly asks her not to die and she knows he'd be devastated at her lose, she devises a schem to erase herself from her memory so he can live free of her.

And once she does manage to do this, what is the last we hear from her?

AND WHO IS THE ONLY MOTHERFUCKER WE KNOW CAN LITERALLY BECOME OTHER PEOPLE (and has been a butterfly specifically before) THATS RIGHT THIS SMUG BITCH

BUT ALMOST MORE IMPORTANTLY

I think its REALLY interesting for the implications this has for like the entirety of Talentless Nana lore. If this IS correct and Rin IS Catboy Jin then what does this say about formation of a Talent. In a moment of great distress a talent may be formed that in some way responds to that distress, tries to sooth it in some way. This might be true for Kyouya too, though it's somewhat shaky. We know he hasn't aged much since he was in middle school so we can assume that it was around then that his talent awoke. His mother died earlier than that and his father later, but as his father was so busy working for the family I don't think it would be tooooo much of a stretch that it was around middle school when Kyouya was old enough to be left responsible for his sister, and he might have really realized how reliant she is on him while their father is away. Therefor that was when he might have developed immortality to make sure he would never die like their mother did and so Rin would never be left to fend for her own (which would make Rin exploiting the drawback of his talent to make sure she can leave him without him grieving her even more heartbreaking).

Of course this is just a theory and so far we know very very little about backstories of talented we met so far and even less so about the moments their talent truly awakened. There might be some slight connections, Michiru, a daughter of doctors developing healing, Koharu developing her illusion ability to battle loneliness and isolation, Yuuka developing necromancy to keep Shinji for herself, Shizuka developing time travel after her parents died, it could make sense!

Talentless Nana has been kinda known for having rather shallow characters at the beginning that just sorta turn up to do their bit so it's hard to theorize on information from that era, but I feel like the direction of the manga is so strong atm and we are getting so much lore and information we might be able to theorize more properly very soon. Anyway, even if I'm wrong I'm really looking forward to seeing where the manga will go with all of this, especially considering Rin's identity. The last few chapters have been so consistently strong, the manga really had a rebirth and has caught it's stride. We are on a roll baby!

[amazinglyegg]

YOOO TREVOR IT'S BEEN A SEC

got any transman carrington material you'd like to share ? i am absolutely dying to hear if you've got any funky headcanons i could possibly add to my ✨ extensive ✨ collection

TRANSMASC CARRINGTON!!!

I'M VERY SICK ATM SO HOPEFULLY THIS IS ALL COHERENT!!!

Must be so easy for him because he's a doctor. He can get his own hormones.

Being trans is just easier post-war in general

Fuck off with the waitlists and doctors notes and document changes and gatekeeping

It's just "hey doc I don't want tits anymore" "alrighty then" *chainsaw revs*

Okay maybe not that fast but. Yknow.

Only takes like 5 minutes tops to get hrt as long as the doctor has it on them

That being said, would surgery be feasable in the wasteland?

With how long healing is and with how dangerous the wasteland is it would probably only be possible for people living in major cities

I feel like Carrington wouldn't feel comfortable with other doctors in general, especially for surgery

I imagine him as kind of a stickler for health and sanitation and doctor Crockers floor is literally drenched in old blood

Maybe he'd trust Amari because the Railroad trusts her but because of the long healing time and his importance to the Railroad he wouldn't bother

He's pretty good at sewing though (as most of the wasteland is) so he's sewn his own binders

Probably in neutral colors but he has at least one binder that Deacon tie-dyed rainbow

Started T because people kept assuming he was a teenager (he's probably pretty short) and he got sick of it

(Now Deacon calls him "old man" to bug him)

Very giddy when he got to shave for the first time

Doesn't bother to come out to people really at all

I don't think coming out is as common in the Wasteland because like, everyone is some flavor of queer

So Carrington is in that middle ground where he's not hiding his identity but he's not going to bother telling people unless it's important and/or comes up in conversation

He WILL chew out anyone who makes transphobic comments on other queer Railroad members though

[dopepoisonivyoncrack]

IVY!!! ASKIN IN THESE TWO EPISODES!!!

I am holding out a microphone towards you, asking about your current emotions because I am still so in awe. They did right by him

*takes microphone in autopilot mode* *brain loading sign playing* 

*clears throat* …yes, I-...will do my best to share a few thoughts despite (please excuse the language) having my last brain cell fuked outta my mind. I am still processing, still recovering. I definitely need to watch it again, and will probably share later opinions with signs of intelligent life form.

I have been waiting for Askin vs. Nimaiya for years. I knew watching it animated will affect me, but nothing could have prepared me for this. The few moans were expected but I was slightly shaking when he started licking the blood off his hand…. That was way more blood than the manga panels could express, the way it was flowing from his temple… 

The pharmacology 101 was cut but we got +1 victory +1 death, so I'm good. They did him justice and more.

First, Askin was not dead, even after being cut by Sayafushi twice, without any help from Yhwach. That's just Askin's default power. 

2. The moment Nimaiya falls under Askin's domain captures well the terrifying, sickening feeling of being poisoned to death, and likely monstrous spiritual pressure. A reference would be Nanao dying under Yamamoto's SP, or 1st season weak people falling to the ground in Byakuya's captain class presence. But this is a Squad 0 member we talking about here, so Askin is… something.

It's from poisoning not SP, one might say, but Askin's poison works or not, fast or slow depending on the enemy's SP. If it was higher than Askin's, he wouldn't have fallen like that.

Also, it is the same for Askin. I will never get tired of pointing it out. His enemy experiences the debilitating sickness, the excruciating pain, the feeling of dying once, but Askin feels it constantly, and its not pleasant at all. Its why he hates it. Its like not being able to cut the enemy without feeling the sword going through himself. Whatever is killing the other, he feels it himself in terrible detail, but doesn't die, it doesn't end for him.

I didn't expect to see his staff so early on but at least I got to see how he usually uses it. Mister 'I hate close/physical combat'. He might hate violence, but no one could accuse him of not being ready for it…

HE IS SO ATHLETIC!!!! He could win multiple athletic games, as we were shown… archery, running, pole vault, jumps… limbo… and more. There is so much to this man, my head is spinning. And no one suspects a thing because of his 'just some guy' deadly charm…which makes it a deadly charm. The way he was playing Tenjirou too... that jump + arrow in the back was so hot. I love when he is so deadly, efficient.

As for the final addition, of Shutara's custom made death, tailored to each character (fire for Jugram?? Hello??? And reflection for narcissistic Lille?? The very symbol of quincy/Wandenreich for Uryu?!!) I am still going insane about the iron-maiden style for Askin, you know… the famous medieval torture instrument…I-... wow! Yeah, that makes sense… imma go scream now on the roof and start smoking in the rain. Thanks.

This turned quite long, for someone that can barely tie 2 sentences atm. Thank you for your ask, I hope you enjoyed his performance!

[acidmatze]

Jesus fuck my brother.... So yeah yesterday my brother called me and made the following claims which led me to believe that my grandma mighve died Claim : Mom took grandma to the ICU Reality: Mom took grandma to the ER Claim: Grandma is close to dying thats why Reality: Doctors were closed because d'uh and mom just had it with grandma refusing to go to one Claim: grandma has pneumonia. Everything is horrible Reality: Its a flu. Grandma isnt drinking enough, besides thats everything is fine. Claim: She has to stay in hospital Reality: Shes at home Claim: Shes basically with one foot in her deathbed already. Maybe shes already dead as we're talking Reality: Shes at fucking home watching TV. Didnt even get antibiotics or anything. Theres just a lot of mucus and she isnt drinking enough. Claim: Mom doesnt want to talk because shes in mourning Reality: Mom doesnt wanna talk because shes been driving around in and out of hospital from noon to 9pm. And you know how hospitals are, everything takes ages. Mom was just fucking tired. Claim: Basically, mom is dying as well Reality: Mom is fine. (Well... she has cancer and a fucked up spine but shes more likely to die from old age than cancer atm) Claim: I am the healthiest in the family Reality: My health is in shambles, always has been and always will be but Im gonna pretend its not or else everyone yells at me. Claim: My brother might be the one dying next and ooooooooh hes soooooo sick Reality: hes fucking healthy. Healthy as a horse. At least before he got covid. Maybe now hes actually sick but before that he was waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay healthier than me

[v-arbellanaris]

Hello, I am a human medicine student from Gaza City. I am asking you for urgent help in publishing the link for my family and delivering it to people interested and able to help us. I did not want to do that, but the tragic situation we are living in is what made me have to do this. I feel sad and helpless, after we had Everything, we are now homeless on the streets, we live in a tent next to a dilapidated public toilet and there is sewage, filth and waste everywhere, we sleep on it! We suffer from terrible heat, insects and scorpions, the danger of death, bombs and missiles, in addition to hunger of course, and the danger of pollution and terrible diseases.Especially digestive, respiratory and reproductive! My younger siblings are suffering and very sick. They are terrified of everything, especially scorpions and insects. My father and mother cannot bear it any longer. You have the right to imagine that when you spend your life building for yourself and your children to live a decent life, all of this goes away in the blink of an eye, and now when you reach the age you should To rest in it, you are forced to start over !!? , but the most important thing now is to try to stay alive and protect your children from all the factors of death that surround us! I ask anyone who has humanity or conscience to feel our situation and put himself in our place. How can a person who has lived with dignity all his life accept this? We are dying slowly every day. Please, if anyone can help, even if just a little, do not delay! Your little means a lot to us!

https://gofund.me/5f12ba33

hello, i've reblogged your post - for my followers, this is a vetted gfm, so please donate if you can! even a dollar will go a long way, i know we're all tight on money atm, but it's a matter of survival for the people of gaza

[nathank77]

6/18/24

2:19 p.m

Well I took the second tiny piece of xanax at like 1:25 a.m. I closed my eyes around 1:50 a.m and I slept solidly until my alarm went off at 8:15 a.m. I could have fallen back to sleep but I didn't let myself so I only got like 5 hours and 45 minutes of sleep maximum. I'm sticking to this schedule and give up time for an all nighter is 4 a.m. I will take my xanax at 10 p.m tonight. And everyday from here on out. Obv I'm taking a 1mg tonight bc of my testosterone shot tomorrow.

I will try to go back to a half mg on thursday... I doubt it'll work I'll have to prob accept my tolerance raising. I'm not going back to my old circadian rhythm. I refuse. I get so much more done I can make phone calls I can go places. So we will see how it goes.

I'm about ready to kill myself tbh. I'm starting to care less and less about myself. Sure I'm taking care of myself and trying really hard but I'm sick of panicking about sleep. I'm beyond sick of hallucinating constantly. Despite all my efforts and everything I do I hallucinate constantly bc I can't get out of this fucking toxic environment.

I couldn't be any more functional than I am other than working tbh. Atm I'm doing some laundry. I still got that last box of stuff from the attic that came from my dresser i can't do it today cause my mom needed to do some laundry. I started my good clothes when I woke up so I can finish that.

I went up to the attic and took all the stuff from the keepsake pile in the hallway and organized it in the "clean room" keepsake pile. The hallway is ready for the storage bins that are coming Friday. I'm done with the attic until then. Not including washing those clothes but I'm not going back up there until Friday.

I somewhat regret going up to the attic first I didn't realize today was so hot. I showered when I came downstairs cause I was drenched and felt nasty and I was going to go grocery shopping today instead of tomorrow to expose myself to sunlight since my testosterone shot is tomorrow but I would have showered after I sweat in the car so I'll just go tomorrow.

Now I'm re-doing my posters in my room. My old set up when I first moved in never got changed when I moved my furniture around the first time and then after getting my new furniture. So why not. I got to keep myself busy.

Dad never called me back I left a voicemail yesterday.

I'm legit more functional than I've ever been yet my brain won't recover and sleep has to be an accomplishment... and now I'm worried about raising my tolerance I never really wanted to do that. I just wanted extra for an emergency. I planned to be throwing out the old stuff next year as I accumulated more emergency pills....

I'm so fucking lonely. At this point I'm doing the attic and organizing my life so when I kill myself my family won't have a mess to clean up. I mean sure I'm going to keep trying for a while but let's be real:

1) I'm on disability for ocd bc it's BAD

2) I'm trans and it's not 2050 or something people won't give me a chance.

3) I hear voices... and yea I can keep it a secret for a while but eventually I got to tell them and it could make then run for the hills....

4) I live with my mom and am poor for life.

What do I have to offer someone? A guy who talks and cries in his sleep from ptsd. A guy who can't work. A guy who can't even wash a dish. A guy who would only serve the purpose of a stay at home dad. Women want a provider. In this economy I mean it's kinda hard not to have both parents working.

I'm never going to be a father. I'm never going to be on a birth certificate. I'm never going to get married. I'm never going to have not toxic people in my life. And when everyone starts dying I'll regret that I didn't spend more time with my toxic family.

I'll never stop hallucinating. Sleep will never be a given instead of an accomplishment and I can't work on my ocd with this voice. And beyond that if I kill myself Kristen loses her license. .

I mean all I'm saying is no I'm not planning it but one more all nighter. I mean if months keep going by and I find no girl to talk to. If I don't see changes I'm done.

My life is intolerable. I have nothing but a roof over my head and a pot to shit in. That's it. I thought at 33 my life would be more than this. It isn't. It's never going to be.

I think about what I have to live for or look forward to. My siblings who will start to hate me Connor is already.. and then the idea that someone could love the shattered pieces that I am. That someone can see a mosaic instead of broken peices but they won't.

This is my life and it hasn't changed and never will change and the only ways in which it will change is for the worst. I thought Massachusetts was the worst thing that ever happened to me I laugh now. Microsleeping and auditory hallucinations that never end is and I don't want to pretend I'm alive anymore.

I'm not living. I'm surviving and that's all I've ever done. And it's all I'll ever do.

I'll never go on a vacation. I'll never experience anything but misery and it's just fact.

[adenthemage]

tell me about the works in progress you have

Oh shit thanks for indulging me anon!! I've been super busy with work lately, but has that stopped me from starting new projects? No because i am a foole. So I have a decent bunch of them stacked up atm

Seeing as I am in tmnt hell with no end in sight yet, a majority of it has been centered on fanworks for that! In the art department I have:

-draw the rottmnt gang in your outfits

-just. SO many screenshots I wanna redraw

-animating rottmnt boys as youtubers I think are funny (<- this one is VERY CLOSE to being done, I just have a few segments I'm dragging my feet on. I have the boards I just don't wanna liiiinnnne)

-animation sent to a Thriller remix focusing on the 03 villains. This one is heavily inspired by a PHENOMENAL Jojo animation of which I will be plastering all over the promo for when my version is finished. I don't even watch Jjba (yet) but I am obsessed with that video. Part of me is excited to finish just so I can show more people that video. I am stealing so many techniques from it

-I have a TH storage account full of characters I mean to draw as warmups, but I keep forgetting. They're either set to be sold (and adding art gives them more value) or I just don't have anything for them to do yet and they need a little detail (sometimes drawing helps me flesh out a character's personality and backstory, by way of it reflecting in their design)

-Another TOH six fanarts! The video of me speeddrawing the first one went viral on both Youtube and Tiktok, so I had plenty of character requests to fulfill. I've decided on the ones I want to do, but it's been hard getting motivated to work on it-- presumably because I've moved fixations and brain gets very mad when I think about anything else

On the writing side, I've found myself being a bit more engaged with a little community that's made up of a lot of talented fic writers! I've never had the skill or motivation to finish a fic, but recently I've been trying my hand at fixing that, largely because of their influence. I have a few I'm considering polishing and one I'm nearly ready to actually post!!

-Fire and Stones is, I guess a character study, and the one I'm hoping to post very soon. It examines Agent Bishop in phases of life that aren't really represented in the show, with an emphasis on his odd relationship with death and all the different ways he's experienced it (as in every conceivable way except actually dying, himself.) I'm a little iffy on the first chapter because it takes place so early on, there are no canon characters even alive to interact with. I worry it won't be as fun or engaging as the next two, of which I'm actually pretty happy with! (This is rare as I am a very opinionated mfer and my own work is not immune to my strong need to critique.) I guess I'm just overthinking it because I intend to post it publicly and I'm a little nervous about it. I've never shared any of my fanfiction before!

-a new piece that spawned from Fire and Stones is a "sickfic" that begins hitting the usual fluffy beats with a hint of strangeness, and then quickly devolves into angst and political drama as the sick character in question becomes sure they were actually poisoned and this is an attempted assassination. It will be fun, if I can manage to stick with such a long pace.

-There is also a fic set in the 2012 tmnt universe, heavily inspired by another fic out there where Donnie and Mikey run away and start their own life and begin to heal. I absolutely adored it, and after discussing it with a buddy we were like 'what if they hid out in EPF with Bishop lol' and then it spiraled into a found family drama hoorayyyyy. Most of what I have so far is just waxing poetic about utrom Bishop, though, because I like him and am apparently allergic to writing povs in anyone else's voice.

-ok so. Confession time. I like Rick and Morty. During one of the season finales a villain gives Morty the option to join him and escape Rick forever, and genuinely I feel it is ooc that Morty did not take them up on it, because they were RIGHT. Anyway I have the beginning of a canon divergence fic where he does accept the offer. I actually really like what I have so far! It's just one scene, but at the very least I might try finish the one setup chapter. I might never do more, but I really like what I do have and wouldn't mind showing it off.

-I have a little self-indulgent story about Naruto OCs learning the basics in genin training. I have one scene done but it kinda tapered off in the next rip

I love all my projects but I am always so tired from work I just end up not working on them. But I hope I can have some cool stuff to show sooner rather than later! May it bring someone joy