thecherrygod · 1 year ago
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help a friend was like "i found some fucked up stuff on twitter, wanna see?" and i was kinda worried bc while he is a friend i still dont exactly know completely what his deal is
it was fanart of goku and sonic having a child and it was that one sonic transformation that looks like a super saiyan
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calehenituseappreciation · 4 years ago
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Ive seen a lot of Dream (and usually Techno and Phil too) as gods au (i have one too dw) but all of you are sleeping on the funniest option.
Tommy is the god.
Tommy.
hes the only one in that galaxy (other than drista ofc)
Just imagine how fucking funny it is like 
it would be so fucking hilarious
and tommy just doesnt tell them
so techno is just there making all these blood god jokes and jokingly telling tommy to serve him and tommys just laughing
imagine a god in the form of a chaotic 16 year old racoon gremlin just walts into your land commits arson and gets banned, only to come back with another person who he helps start a nation for drugs?
imagine how fucking funny it is
just
imagine tubbo banning a literal god from his lands and he just doesnt come back? he just plays by the rules? then goes and like sits in the corner all sad because some humans/dreamons told him to leave
ranboo, just joining the server: hi-  a chaotic gremlin god: wanna commit arson with me?  ranboo, just trying to vibe and maybe not disturb this god: sure 
Phil and Ranboo recongnize Tommy as a god on sight.
Everyone else just refuses to believe it. hes Tommy. Tommyinnit. hes just weird lol
And Drista being a fucking chaotic blood god? 
drista is open about her godhood and does not hesitate to spawn blocks
Drista finds Dream and decides she likes this small human, and dream just has to deal with it lmao.
drista and tommy are both born at the same time.
Tommy is a god of music, chaos, war and theivery (the last one bc he is a BITCH)
Drista is the blood god, chaos, deception, and theatre
okay but imagine the sbi interactions... like ig in this au tommy joins at like 12/13 years of age (in their minds) so he doesnt really grow much 
and like tommy, a literal god, just claiming phil as his father???
phil, in his house making eggs, assuming one of his sons woke up and came to the kitchen, not looking: hey son  tommy, from their couch, already deciding hes phils son now: whats up dad? phil: looks up at tommy who are you tommy: idk dad, who am i  phil: *stares at tommy for a second* eh i made extra eggs you can stay 
ASJIDGASUIOG IMAGINE TOMMY TELLING THEM HES A GOD BUT THEY THINK HES JOKING AND IGNORE HIM
everyone on the server: tommy is the youngest! tommy, as old as the universe: no im not!!!! im not a child!!!! he doesnt pout because pouting is for children and hes not a child but hes pouting tubbo: lol im older than you by a month tommy dont try to hide it tommy: im not a child!!!! techno: laughs
tommy doesn't try to hide that hes a god just its tommy
thats all the evedince anyone needs to think tommy isnt a god or powerful its like mcc hes good but only when he doesnt throw for content
quackity: sees drista written in bedrock lmao drista visited? tommy: yeah! i wrote that for her!  quackity: snorts yeahhhh sureee tommy
imagine like how fucking funny it is jsut like 
a fucking chaotic god breaks into your house androbs you makes a room under your house and decides to live in your floorboards
imagine dream like trying to manipulate tommy, and tommy a fucking anchient diety immeditly recongnizes what hes doing
but decides to play along for the angst and giggles and then actually gets mad when no one fucking cares for his theatrics
tommy, storming off to technos base to rob and build under: >:///// cant believe none of them acknoledged my  deppression 
i love that tommy stills robs everyone, he doesnt need to he can spawn in anything he wants
he just does it for the sport of robbery
JAKOGFSDOH
THE HOLY LAND
dream: im god actually tommy: thats so fucking funny lets make a cult about that :)  dream: see! look! im god! and jesus!  tommy: wheezing
imagine tommy getting stressed and letting go of his mortal form
Tommy, his human form peeling away, showing his actual form a bit: WH̸͘A͠T̷ ̶̢T͞H͢E ̡͘F̴̵͘Ù̧C͜K҉ ̶T͘͜͞E͟CHǸ͏Ǫ  Techno: HAH?
tommy just saw tubbo and got emotionally attached
Tommy, a literal god: hello Tubbo: oh hi do you like my pet bee? Tommy: you’re mine now Tubbo: im okay with this
tommy, a bored god: gives techno shapeshifting powers  techno, not even caring: changes into more human to pig-ishg forms as he wishes this is my life now ig 
phil lets tommy do fuck all in exile bc he knows hes a god hes fine
phil: IDC IF YOURE A GOD! YOU WILL DO THE DISHES NOW YOUNG MAN! tommy: grumbles but does them
phil is the only one who can control tommy
god... tommy... with star freckles... on his human form... (as well as his god one)
tommy: f̷͛͠a̵̋t̵̒̑h̸̚e̶̓͝r̸͊ ̸̐̒i̴ ̸̅̿d̷̉͆o̵͂͋ ̵̛̆ñ̸̾ő̶́t̸̎́ w̶͆͘i̴͠s̵̓̈́h̸͗́ ̵̯͗f̶͋́ő̴͑r̷̐̌ ̶͝é̵̽g̸͊͂g̵̒s̷͂̃  phil: idc, eat your goddamn eggs tommy: pouts
tommy, despite being able to get supplies himself by fucking spawning them in: hey tubbo? we need supplies 
In this au ig like if a god claims you you get a mark on your skin showing that. Drista’s would be like a green crown, Tommys would be a red and white disk (white as the outer ring and red as the center) (its different enough that if you don’t realise tommy is a god you wouldnt realise whos it is) (schlatt is the only one who never had one which shoulda been a sign dude :/)
Dream has two from the beginning, everyone else has only one, well until they meet drista. (sbi have had one since they met tommy, though they dont remember the first time they met tommy)
wait what if tommy like found them all as children one by one and later kinda pulled some strings to get them all in one kingdom. (he still joined sbi through forcing phil to adopt him) 
OKAY BUT IMAGINE IF TOMMY MET TECHNO WHEN TECHNO WAS YOUNG ENOUGH TO NOT REMEMBER
tommy would hang out with baby techno and tell him stories
once he told him the story of a man named thesus
another time he told him the story of a blood god
like for example tommys first time meeting techno would be like
(for context techno lived in a shitty village and was an orphan and it was kinda a dog eat dog place, he learned how to be strong because of it)(he was young enough that he doesn’t remember this well, just like learning about the blood god and someone giving him gold)
baby techno: sighs tommy, appearing out of nowhere: oh heyyy whyre you sad? techno: jumps turning around with a knife up ready for a fight who are you tommy: im tommy! :) techno: what do you want from me! you dont scare me! tommy: whats your name! techno: i have a knife! i'll use it! tommy: of course, thats a given, but its rude not to tell people your name techno, confused: t-technoblade? tommy: smiles thats a nice name techno: so. tommy: hm? techno: why're you here tommy: i don't have a reason. im just a traveller! techno: then why hole to this terrible village! theres nothing nice here! everyone is terrible and so are you! tommy: hmmmm i dont agree techno: what are you? a child? i thought adults were supposed to know that everyone is mean tommy: mmhmm looks at the bruise on technos face where'd you get that? techno: fight. i won. i'll win against you too! so don't try anything. tommy: of course. i would never win in a fight against a blood god techno, putting down his knife a bit, stars in his eyes: blood god? tommy: grins blood. god. i think she'd like you. techno, muttering: maybe i can give the blood god some of your blood tommy: laughs yeah, she'd defenitly find you intresting tommy: here tosses techno a golden crown at techno, he spawned it in in the moment techno: whats this? tommy: a crown, thought it suit you screams in the distance tommy: huh. i need to go. have fun lil piglin. ruffles technos hair before running off towards the screaming unbeknownst to the pig the blood god was actually the one waiting for the god he met. techno: stares at the crown 
Techno found a pouch of gold in his ‘house’ later that day. he didnt know who left it but it helped him get food for that night. (he kept the crown)
okay but imagine tommy not taking the war seriously at all, and only seeing it as a squabble between mortals, Like toddlers fighting
dream: SURENDER BY TOMMOROW OR WE'LL DECLARE WAR! wilbur: FUCK YOU WE'LL NEVER SURENDER AND JOIN YOUR SMP! Tommy: how cute
tommy doesnt realise that theyre serious until wilbur dies
tommy would usually go apeshit against anyone who dares messes with his humans, but what is he supposed to do when his humans are fighting Eachother?
wilbur: fucking goes insane and dies  tommy: hey- hey can you guys let me talk to wil for a sec? everyone else leaves tommy, unsually somber: sorry i didnt help you i forgot how easily breakable mortals are tommy: this time you wont die, and i'll make it so that you dont break again, okay? tommy: brings wilburs soul out of its body and enters his mindscape ghostbur: wakes up what- where am i? tommy: hi there ghostbur: who are you tommy: i go by a lot of names all, one, you, the world, the universe, god, but you can just call me tommy ghostbur: oh okay. who am i? tommy: you're name was wilbur soot. you were the son of philza minecraft and brother to Technoblade, Tubbo and myself. ghostbur: was? tommy: well you see, you died. ghostbur: oh... well what am i then? tommy: a ghost! well actually its your choice. would you like to continue your existance or fade away with your body? ghostbur: i dont want to fade away! tommy: smiles thats what i thought you'd say stretches his hand to wilbur ghostbur: grabs tommy hand tommy: lets go home
ghostbur doesnt remember that though
he only remembers the good
tommy wont let him remember the bad, what if he breaks again? mortals are so fragile
phil realises what tommy did as soon as he sees ghostbur 
drista, painting tommys nails (there both in god form btw) (after wilburs death btw): tommy shouldn't you of all gods realise how fragile they are?  tommy: i know just... forgot  drista: sighs and nods i get what you mean, especially with the ones we found... they act a lot like gods sometimes i forgot they arent  tommy: ikr? wait- drista here gets drista's hair out of her face you were gonna get it on my nails, anyways, don't judge me. we all know if dream died you would turn him into a ghost too drista: smirks not if you do it first, we all know you would tommy: you say that as if you wouldn't fight me to do it first  drista: .... tommy: ... drista: both of us when he dies? tommy: nods tommy: anyways my turn to do your nails 
or like tommy with ghostbur like
ghostbur: i don't like this :( tommy, a worried brother and god: whats wrong? ghostbur: everyone is mad at me and i d-dont know why- why are they mad at me tommy: theyre mad at something alivebur did ghostbur: b-but im not alivebur sniffs it hurts. i dont like it. tommy: spawns in some blue here ghostbur: whats that? tommy: its some blue! it'll help you not hurt anymore! ghostbur: how does it work? tommy: see how its blue? ghostbur: nods tommy: well its blue because it sucks up all the bad feelings! it'll help ghostbur: !!!!! ghostbur: presses the blue into his chest ghostbur: !!!!its working!!!! :D tommy: smiles good
wilbur fucking died and tommy went from annoying little brother to caring older brother
tommy just wants to help his brother :) though he doesnt realise that not letting ghostbur remember bad memories isnt good
*at logsted shire btw* ghostbur: who are you? tommy, chuckling: did you forget me already ghostbur? ghostbur: i didnt forget you! i think! you're tommy! i just... you're different tommy, looks over at ghostbur: different how? ghostbur: you're not normal are you? tommy: grins whaaaaat? you think im weirdddd? how heartbreaking... my own brother thinks im weird, this is terrible ghostbur: giggles tommy: but really, don't worry about it bur. ghostbur: you sure? tommy: yeah, dont worry about me ghostbur: smiles okay! do you want some blue anyways? tommy: giggles sure! ghostbur: grins
ghostbur isnt worried about tommy
he knows hes strong
phil having to tell tommy that he cant just not let wilbur remember the bad memories
and tommys like "what if he breaks again!" and phil hugs him and tells him to at least ask ghostbur if he wants to remember and tommys like ‘fine’
tommy: hey bur? ghostbur: yeah? tommy: do you like you're memories? ghostbur: i mean, yeah its hard not to when you only remember the good tommy, quietly: would you want to remember the bad? ghostbur: w-what brought this question on tommy: answer the question ghostbur: no- alivebur was badi shouldn't want to- tommy: but what do you want bur? wilbur, silent for a moment: yeah- yeah i do. not that i like the bad memories! they hurt... but i wish i could remember tommy: ... ghostbur: hey tommy? tommy: yeah? ghostbur, with tears in his eyes: do you think they'd be less mad at me if i could remember, maybe then i could repair my relationships, what the hell am i supposed to do when i dont even remember hurting them? tommy: what if they dont? what if you break again? ghostbur, saltily: we'll maybe i'll be able at least be able to say i know why everyone hates me tommy: i know how to get all of your memories back ghostbur, looks towards tommy in shock: you do??? tommy: nods ghostbur, voice wavering: for how long tommy: since the beginning ghostbur: and you didnt tell me tommy: i did what i thought was best. i just didnt want you to hurt anymore. ghostbur, angrily: WELL THAT CLEARLY WORKED DIDNT IT? tommy: sorry wilbur, sometimes i forget how to handle humans ghostbur: what- tommy: sighs and taps ghostbur on the forehead and ghostbur does the ghost equivilent of passing out tommy: wont hide any memories this time
ghostbur doesnt wake up, instead wilbur wakes up weither thats good or bad we'll see
wilbur, waking up with all his memories: HOLY SHIT TOMMY WASN'T KIDDING phil, who was reading beside the bed tommy placed wilbur into, which was in technos house. yes he broke into technos house with a passed out wilbur. move on.: hm? wilbur: holy shit phil: huh? yeah. wilbur: wait you knew? phil: yeah i recongnized him as soon as i saw him about 5 years ago now? wilbur: excuse me while i freak out because my little brother is an actual god
it really hits wilbur that tommy is a god later
wilbur: hey tommy? tommy: yeah? wilbur: how fucking old are you? tommy: snorts of course thats the first thing you ask wilbur: well? tommy: i dont really know the exact years since years are kind of a human thing that were invented recently wilbur: they were invented thousands of years ago- tommy: but it was around the beginning of this galaxy wilbur, softly: what the fuck
tommy telling wilbur stories about different heros and villains and different humans he met during his life.
Adsjbffsg what if Tommy made himself blonde and blue eyed and white bc thats hyow the first human he met looked like asjfhsd
and just didnt change that, despite meeting new humans, its just his defult settings.
he would totally do this tho im crying.
drista just based her human form off dream because she is his sister now. he must deal with this. trying disowning me when i look like you BITCH.
thats my take anyways later might continue this
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peanut-butter-parkerxx · 3 years ago
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hickey prank...gone wrong
y/n wanted to prank the avengers for forgetting to hide a hickey she got from a 'mysterious boy' after she finished pranking them and telling them its fake, peter came in and NOT so subtly asked her when he did that since they're secretly dating
pairing: peter x stark!reader
status: secretly dating
y/n's pov
ive been watching a lot of youtube lately, it literally became my best friend, i scrolled through my recommendations and found a 'hickey prank' video, i smiled to myself already knowing im about to do it, and clicked on the video
It was a girl pranking her parents for getting a hickey, i watched the girl make the fake hickey on her neck, and i was considering to ask peter to do one for me that would be more entertaining but that would obviously backfire if i couldnt wipe it out
so i didnt ask him, another thing is that peter and i have been secretly dating for around a month now, my dad, tony stark, strictly told peter that i am off limits but were still dating and its been the best month ever.
anyways, i opened my vanity drawer and got my eye shadow pallet, i decided on a spot to make the 'hickey' and started adding dark colored eye shadow to make it look believable, the end result looked pretty good, and i know that from experience ;)
it ws on the right side of my neck right below my ear, i opened my two braids to cover the 'hickey' took my phone to record this i already know chaotic experience since this is the avengers we're talking about and left my room while i was walking in the hallway i got a text from peter saying:
MY baby 🥰🧸: coming in 15! xx
I squealed from excitment coz its been a week since ive seen him because of his exams and everything but back to the prank
i walked inside our kitchen/living room and the avengers were scattered everywhere since they just finished a mission and now theyre hungry af, perfect
Tumblr media
i snuck my phone behind a bowl of fresh fruits and acted normally trying to contain my nervousness and excitement
"hey guys!" i said looking at the kitchen island that filled with delicious hot meals, yumm
"hey sweetie" dad said kissing my cheek, and everybody mumbled a 'hey' since they're too busy stuffing theyre mouths with food
"hows the mission?" i asked curiously, thor, sam and scott completely ignored me trying to stuff everything in, nat and wanda were talking about how stupid one of the men were for flirting with them and comepletely beat the shit out of him for makig inappropriate comment, my girls I thought and steve, dad, bruce, and bucky answered my question
they've always had a soft spot for me and hated whenever i got ignored, i smile at them grateful that they didnt ignore me even though i wouldnt get mad i mean im also starving
i continued on eating arguing with sam on who will get the biggest slice of the chocolate cake wanda made, but then i remembered i came here to do the prank so i decided its time
i looked infront of me checking if my phone is still recording and it was, its been recording for 8 minutes now so i excused myself from the table to go 'get some fruit'
i quickly grabbed an apple and rerecorded the video, "so what do you guys wanna do? peters coming in a few" i said taking my hair and secured it behind my ear, its been exposed its been exposed omg omg omg i tried to calm down a bit coz in any second someone could spot my 'hickey'
"oh, we could have a movie night, you know, coz peter finished school so we should celebrate" my dad said looking at me then looking back at his food but looked at me again eyes widened, he spotted it ABORT MISSION OMG OMG
I looked down at my food trying not to run from the glare hes giving me
"y/n?" my dad asked, his tone has never been this serious before, oh shit
"y-yes" i squeecked god pull it together y/n, its not real
"what is that on your neck" he pointed out, which grabbed everyones attention, great, all eyes were on me, steve, bucky and bruce widened their eyes shocked, wanda and nat were smirking, sam, scott, and clint were laughing their asses off while thor looked as clueless as a baby
i was sitting at the center of the table and i just wanted to sink in and get absorbed my the marble walls
"w-what do you mean?" i asked 'confused' i grabbed nats phone that was between us, opened the camera and gasped trying to act surprised and scared "I-I uhhh" I let go of my hair so it can cover it again "I-I burned my self while curling my hair" I nervously blurted out, wow I'm a great actress
"that does not look like a burn young lady what is that?" Steve buts in, anger literally fuming from his ears and eyes Bucky glaring at me trying to think of every boy I've ever interacted with
"I curled my hair uncle Steve!" I replied rolling my eyes
"THAT IS NOT A BURN HUN THATS A HICKEY" my dad got out of his chair clearly getting angrier by the second
"ITS NOT DAD, YOU THINK I COULD HOOK UP WITH BOYS WHEN IM BEING WATCHED 24/7?" I shot back standing as well, everybody gasped
"what is a hickey if I may interrupt"
"SHUT UP" the rest of the team said clearly enjoying this
"I wanna know who's D y/n got" Sam said laughing
"was he at least good?" Nad asked smirking
"please tell me you used protection" Wanda asked concerned
"WHO IS IT" all three of them said
"NO ONE!" I shouted
"why is he that important that you have to be so secretive of him?" Bucky suddenly blurts out tightening his fists so hard his knuckles could pop out
"maybe he's special" nat smirked
"y/n" my dad said in a warningly tone "if you don't tell us who this idiot is I swear I'm gonna let Bruce turn into the hulk and smash every boys house that you've ever interacted with" I felt like that was enough, and obviously got everyone's attention, I tried to contain my laughter coz they're faced are just hilarious waiting for me to tell them who it is
"it's....it's...a-a..A PRANK!" I laughed, everybody looked at me speechless clearly not buying it
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN ITS A PRANK THERE'S STILL A HICKEY ON YOUR NECK" my dad shouted
"yeah a FAKE one" I took the wipe from my back pocket, wiping my 'hickey' and gestured to the smudged make up "SEE??" I laughed
Steve, Bucky, Bruce and my dad looked relieved, nat, Scott, Wanda, Clint, and Sam looked...disappointed?? And Thor was still clueless as ever, I walked to the counter to stop recording
"YOU WERE RECORDING?" Wanda scoffed
"do not do that to us a again young lady I was gonna get a heart attack" Steve warned leaving the table
"doll" Bucky said and I looked at him "if I ever see a boy with you this close" he gestured between him and I "I will squish their face and pull his brains out with my bare hand" he warned
and for a second I thought of Peter, I swear he's gonna get killed if they know what 'helping him study' and 'looking after me' means I just rolled my eyes at their stupid behavior
"so y/n didn't get any D yesterday? Poor thing" Sam laughs
"SAM I SWEAR YOUR NEXT ON THE LIST" dad said walking out of the kitchen
"for the first time in forever IM glad this was a prank coz the poor boy would've been dead just by the glares he'll get" I laughed shaking my head after the hilarious prank we cleaned up the kitchen island
"ok guys I'm gonna go to my room to clean this...mess" I gestured to my neck full of smudged make up
"hey guys, what did I miss?" Peter walked in the living room a few minutes after i left
"oh just y/n being y/n, she'll tell you what happened" Scott laughed which confused Peter but he ignored it m opened the fridge to get a snack and go to your room,
like I said it's been a week since he's seen you so he was very excited to kiss you hug you and just shower you with affection...in secret obviously
he knocked on my door doing our secret pattern and barged into my room
"HEY PETER" I almost shouted jumping onto him crossing my legs on his torso and snuggling my headphones to his neck
"hey baaaby" he whispered kissing my temple
"ITS BEEN AGES" I whisper shouted
"that it has" he whispered back finally connecting his lips with mine, And slowly walked to the bed, he sat down which resulted in me straddling his lap
"I missed you" I mumbled hovering his lips a bit
"I missed his more" his voice was lower than usual which made my hormones go haywire, he started pampering me with kisses
"I *kiss* miss *kiss* you *kiss* so *kiss* fucking *kiss* much" he said
"oh since when does innocent Peter Parker swear" i teased looking at his eyes
"since I've dated you" he shot back "when I started dating you, you made me feel and become like a normal horny teenage boy" he kissed me again
"well, im glad you feel...normal" I laughed, he started kissing my neck again and unfortunately my dad was walking past my bedroom at the time
"is this a bruise or just a very messy hickey I gave you, coz if it is I better fix it" he smirked already knowing it's not his but just finding an excuse to do one on me
"oh it's just a prank I did to the team which thankfully I recorded so you can see it"
"how bout I make it a real one?" He smirked
"Yes plea-"
"WHAT?" my dad barged in PERFECT TIMING DAD
"PETER BENJAMIN FUCKING PARKER YOU HAVE 3 SECONDS TO LEAVE THIS COMPOUND BEFORE I FRENCH FRY THAT WHAT I THOUGHT WAS INNOCENT BRAIN OF YOURS"
"RUN PETE RUNNN"
🏃‍♂️ 💨
Have a wonderful morning/afternoon/evening/night!
-quacksonlover
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thecringefailintherye · 4 years ago
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Oliver! (1968) Live (re) watch!
i have already seen oliver!, but not in ages, so i decided to watch it again, enjoy
very long post warning
fuckin hell these opening credits are LONG
i love the fact instrumentals of songs in the movie are playing
i have chocolate popcorn, apple lucozade and oliver! on, life is good
yes i know mark lester is oliver ive seen this like 20 times can i watch the film now
OH ABOUT FUCKING TIME
god is love
IS IT WORTH THE WAITING FOR IF WE LIVE TILL 84 ALL WE EVER GET IS GRUELL
i forgot how much of a banger food glorious food is
LOOK AT BABY MARK LESTER 🥺🥺🥺
ads in middle of movie be like
its harry secombe!
AMENNNN
oliver gets bullied the movie
look at this poor kid
MOREE????????
oh yes oliver i love this song
O L I V E R
poor kid
without any bannister yikes
the one who named him........O-L-IV-ERRR
oh were outside now
olivers just been kicked out oh shit
but on the plus side he has a cute ass hat on
BOY FOR SAY AL
look at oliver 🥺 he deserves better
SOWERBERRY MORE LIKE SHITTERBERRY
theres a severe lack of thats your funeral and i shall scream
noah claypole more like noah clayprick
“perhaps... if i had a tall hat?” BABEY
HES GOT HIS TALL HAT ON YES OLIVER
oliver said dab on them haters from your old gaff youre a funeral advisor now and theyre still homeless
DONT INSULT HIS MUM FUCK YOU NOAH
YES OLIVER KILL HIM
yes stuff the nine year old in a coffin and sit on it well done
"OLIVAH ??" "Yes im here: ((("
ITS MEAT!
oliver deserves better man 
im gonna cry and were like 25 minutes in.
ik its not mark singing but whoever it is CAN SING WTF
i want to give him a hug
OH SHIT HES RUNNING AWAY
hes in the lettuce
LONDON YOU MADE IT !
yes oliver trains exist
DODGER!!!
whach you starin at aint ya ever seen a toff
the beak
look at lil jack wild
me more hintimate friends
cockney accent™️
the artful dodga
CONSIDERR YOURSSELF AT HOEME COSNIDER YOURSWLF OEN OF THE FAMILY !!!!!!!!!!
im sorry i love this song
look this scene is awesome, but it would be COMPLETE with charley oh wait he was demoted to extra and everything interesting abt him was given to dodger
he should have gotten the nobody tries to be ladeeda or uppity bit I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL
this cast is BIG
okay i am a Charger Enthusiast but do we all agree there is something oddly homosexual about oliver and dodger in this song
note how dodger is scared of the police FORESHADOWING
ive taken to this SO STRONGITSCLEARWEREGOINGTOGETALONG
how many extras is this ???? yall better be gettin paid
its dodga comin up
this set is sraight out of the book i love it
CHARLEY MATE IM SORRY THEY MADE YOU AN EXTRA 
“oh not again” does dodger just always show up with random workhouse kids 
ah yes fagin the character whos still a negative jewish stereotype
more and more big cast
THESE SAUSAGES ARE MOULDY! (am i going to freak out whenever charley does anything because i love him? yes)
stfu drink your gin
is this a laundry?? no fam 
THE BEST FUCKING SONG IN THIS MUSICAL
IN THIS LIFE ONE THING COUNTS
sorry if i dont add to this until pick a pocket or two is done bc its a straight banger
this song is EVERYTHING 
hard at work lol ok
did he make those himself??? no
couple a wipes
EMBROIDERED THEM??? no
petition for all oliver twist adaptations to refer to charley as master bates like the book and for him to have actual lines and not have his actor switched at least three times
i dont even now who charley is at this point because his actor is switched many a time im just gonna say purple blazer kid is charley
anyway charley bates supremacy
whos bill sikes??? NO
fuck bill all my homies hate bill
rum tum tum is a banger
go bed now
take your hat off in bed dodger
movie fagin has rights
fagin leaving where will he go
BET IS THAT YOU
FUCK OFF BILL NO ONE LIKES YOU 
NANCY NANCY HES HERE !!!!!! bet deserves everything and more ily 💖
NANCYYYY!!!!!!
its a fine life more like its a banger
wheres all of bets lines gone
bet 🤝 charley (being demoted to extras)
its not funny anyore bet.. bet girl please sing youre the best fucking thing about this song
such a happy song about domestic abuse
THERE SHE IS THATS MY GIRL BET I FUCKING LOVE YOU
bullsye rights!
i hate how this movie made fagin more symathetic but he’s still a “greedy jew” stereotype
oliver?????
at this moment fagin knew he fucked up
nancy you deserve better than bill
oh hi dodger forgot you existed
and the rest of you except oliver
ah yes charley “sausages” bates i missed you
THESE FUCKING KIDS THEY ALL LOVE BET AND NANCY MY HEART
im a regular gent i am. no dodger you arent
why is “permit me to assist you across the road” so fucking funny
pov dodgers back on his bullshit so you have to pretend to be a horse and cart for him
not “sir artful” 😭😭😭
anyfink for youu
WHAT FISTICUFFS???!!!
i feel sorry for the child extras man theyve prob had to film this scene like ten times
THESE KIDS CAN SING
 the boys dancing with eachother is too fucking wholesome i love this
again, movie fagin rights
weed riissk lifee and limmbb
you promised we could go see the angin!!!!!
ats on boys time were off
THIS IS MY FAVOURITE SONG
HOW COULD WE LET HOW COULD WE FORGET OUR DEAR OLD FAGIN WORRY!!
mate that aint single file did you not hear him
am i the only one who can hear london bridge is falling down in the back??
our pockets hold a watch of gold that chimes upon the hour!!! a wallet fat an old mans hat!!! the jewels from the tower!!!
WE KNOW THE NOSEY POLICEMEENNNN
dodger and charley (i am SURE charley is purple blazer kid even if havent seen this film in ages) are GETTING INTO THIS
oliver 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺
movie fagin rights pt 27238227
DODGER OLIVER COME ON!!!!!!!!! alright dude chill
ARE YALL SEEING THIS SHIT, I WAS RIGHT, I TOLD YOU THAT THE LAD IN THE PURPLE BLAZER WHO SINGS “a wallet fat an old mans hat” WAS CHARLEY BATES AND GUESS WHAT HE FUCKING IS. I WAS RIGHT, PURPLE BLAZER KID IS CHARLEY YOU CAN LEAVE NOW
no dont were only an hour in
three kids on the back of the omnibus what will they do
dodger and charley said be gay do crimes
ah shit now look what youve gotten us into dodger
IT WASNT EVEN OLIVER IT WAS CHARLEY AND DODGER GO AFTER THEM
are dodger and charley straight up framing oliver for a crime they commited while also helping him escape
yes they are why are we surprised 
i hate to break it to you dodger but hiding oliver in a meat sack doesnt work
OLIVERS ON THE ROOF????
charley and dodger got oliver into this mess and they are not going to get him out
WHY DIDNT YOU LOOK AFTER HIM????? right calm down fagin
how could i help it :((((
no bill!
stan nancy
“two other boys stole it” no shit
BROWNLOW !
run bitch run
right intermission time now
AND WE’RE BACK!
entr acte
who will buyyy
strawberry girl is carrying this
oliver owns my heart pt 278983728938728
this is a banger wtf
okay its done now right
right?????
UHH BILL???? DODGER???? BITCH WHY TF ARE YOU HERE
have bill fagin nancy and the boys been stalking oliver???
NO SHE WONT FAGIN!
shit.
fuck bill
this scene is far more sadder when you think of how the boys have just seen the only woman they see as a mother figure been hit to the flo or, im not crying, you are
as long as he needs me :(
FUCK YOU BILL
rose maylie is that you?!
look at lil oliver!!
BILL FUCK OFF
i hate bill
“look at his togs! he’s got books too!” charley and dodger are my emotional support kids
anyway have i mentioned i hate bill, bc i hate bill.
I REALLY REALLY HATE BILL
even fagin aka the guy whos keeping these kids as pickpockets has more morals than bill
WE STAY CALM!!
no bill i havent heard a dying chicken
act one was just childish antics now we have THIS
fuck bill
YOURE TELLING ME THE BOYS WATCHED THAT????
jack wild is a banging actor. he genuinely looks terrified 🥺 
this film.. 
a mans got a heart hasnt he?? yes you do!!!
a full song dedicated to movie fagin rights?? did i ghostwrite this?? probably
banger
ithinkidbetterthinkitoutagain!
villains theives and nine year olds
MR BUMBLE?????!!!!!!!!!!
fuck bill pt72898376728909878199
bill youre traumatising him
cmon nance do something!!
also completely forgot abt this but uh does monks exist in this i forgot bc we have had no mentions of him yet
nancy tell him who bill is!!!
bullseye deserves better
uhm what is going on
bill sikes more like bill yikes
oliver what are you doing
BILL TERRIFIES ME
FUCK
omg oom pah pah????
leave oliver alone bill hes like nine
oh banger
OOM PAH PAH THATS HOW IT GOES!!!!!!!!!
just asking are nancy and bet lesbians bc they look it
COULD IT BE OOM PAH PAHHHHHH
god i love this song
IT SHOOOOOWSSSSSS
its the same oom pah pah
“She was from the country but now shes up a gumtree she let a fella feed her then lead her a long” foreshadowiinnggg
OOM PAH PAH! OOM PAH PAH! OOM PAH PAH!
nancy is so fucking smart
getting the whole pub singing and dancing to smuggle out oliver? clever
fuck
bill.. no.. bill.. bill????
FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKC
BILL GET OFF HER
NANCY NO
HE STRAIGHT UP COMMIT MURDER AGAINST THE NICEST CHARACTER
BROWNLOW DO YOU NOT HEAR NOTHING
nancy deserved a better death than to be killed by bill fuck bill
EVEN BULLSEYE HATES YOU BILL
ARE THEY ACCUSING BULLSEYE OF MURDER
FUCK YOU BILL
movie fagin rights + fuck bill combo?
youre telling me fagin had an ESCAPE ROUTE??? AT THE BOTTOM OF THE HOUSE THING??? THE WHOLE TIME???
BILL DONT KILL THE CHILD
BILL
fuck, well. #
“WHAT DO I DO!?” “LIVE UP TO YOUR NAME, DODGE ABOUT”
ten quid says dodgers been caught
oh no all fagins shit is gone
BILL DONT KILL THE CHILD PT 2
FUCK YOU BILL
GOD I HATE HIM
OLIVER MATE ARE YOU OK
never have i been so happy to see a character die
rest in shit bill
hi dodger thought you got caught n went to australia 
god, this film is so fucking good.
reviewing the situation 2.0 goes hard
MOVIE. FAGIN. RIGHTS!
FAGIN YOU CAN BE A GOOD MAN YOU KNOW YOU CAN
DODGER??????????
IM TOTALLY NOT CRYING RN
FAGIN NO DONT TAKE IT
FUCKING PLOTTWIST
IT MADE IT LOOK LIKE FAGIN WAS GONNA GIVE THE WALLET BACK TO DODGER BUT NO
once the villain you’re the villain to the end
i completely forgot abt this scene since i’ve been reading the oliver twist book and in that dodger gets arrested and fagin gets hanged but here they get away?
god this is bittersweet
I THINK WE’D OUGHT TO THINK IT OUT AGAIN!!!!!
thats where the film should have ended, i get olivers the main character but it ending on dodger and fagin walking out into the sunset is such a pleasing ending man
oliver gets his happy ending abt time
YES CONSIDER YOURSELF AND BE BACK SOON (THE BIGGEST BANGERS IN THE FILM) CREDITS SONGS!!
well.. that was a journey and half
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splendidshinobi · 4 years ago
Text
FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST 2003 LIVE REACT: EPISODES 26-30
been awhile since i’ve watched but.... another day, another emotional rollercoaster 
episode 26: her reason
who’s her and what’s her reason
bother him ALLLLL you want maria ross...bother him all day long
he deserves it
INVOICE HAHAHAHAHA
dont yell at maria fuck off!!!! 
GIRLY WHAT IS IZUMI DOING!!!!!!!! 
i screamed i did
i love sig and izumi sm!!!!!!
omg ed and al’s faces
PANINYAAAAAAA
why does she have an automail arm whAT
i feel almost insulted for paninya’s dope weapon legs
oh wait ive seen this arm wrestling scene before lmao
go paninya goooo
i do not tolerate this mr dominic slander
OH NO DO NOT INSULT QUEEN WINRY’S WORK
sucks to suck!!!!
i do think winry may have just fallen in love
ed is such a simp though
JUMBO????? his name iS JUMBO??????
al’s mousy little what?
yikes yeah you know what winry id be pissed too
she felt so good about her work!!!
crush over
jk theyre soulmates
wow roy ur so smart
damn oh ok they kept paninya’s legs too
so she only has 1 biological limb wow
paninya is definitely a lesbian 
we’ve all known that though i mean-----the camo pants
i saw paninya wearing army pants and flip flops, so i bought army pants and flip flops
oh my god winry you DEVIOUS BASTARD
i can see why people ship paninya and winry but im sorry im an edwin simp
young pinako is hot i get it dominic
OH MY GOD DEVIOUS
WINRY LMAO
GUN LEGS!
kill him?? pANINYA think about that before you shoot someone!!! 
AWWWWWW ED!!!! “best automail in the world!!!!” IM CRYING
“hello sir” alphonse you sweet boy
sheska u good???
OPE HEY CURTISES
ed why are you sad
omg winry dont cry!!!! 
hahahaha sig
THE BOYS’ FACES LMAO
episode 27: teacher
izumi time lets gooooooooooooo
the ominous music lolololol
THE WINDOW
WHERE IS ALPHONSE
HA
RIGHT THERE
ED’S FUCKING FACE HAHAHAHA
grumman!!!!!
STEW TONIGHT FUCK YEAH
xerxes drop
edward you are being so foreboding
izumi queen of my life lets go girl!!!
umbrella king sig curtis!!!
ed you dumbass!!!!!
angry face boys
mom dad and the kids on the train!!!! makes me cry
awww win’s gonna miss the dudes
omg havoc plzzzz
why is he calling riza like she doesnt already know shes going too
do not leave my boy falman behind!!!
oh good ok
mason my dude!!!
“yes maam”
this is UNCOMFORTABLE
guys i simp for sig tbh
omg al scary boy
uh oh she SAWWWWWWW you!!!
aww i forgot about the dead cat goddamnit
not THE KITTY
ok but those baby kittens need some MELK
its all over for you two watch out
cant hide JACK SHIT from mama bear
yikes
she gonna kick your ass oof
hugs oh thats nice
episode 28: all is one, one is all
island timeeee
wait theyre on island time PART 2???? ok
the way sig’s HAND---- anyway
ok so creepy naked child??
im suspicious
clearly the boys didnt read my hero academia 
or the three musketeers
al really got YEETED
yote?
oh the kid has clothes on. leaf clothes
i know dublith is in the “south” but is it really a tropical locale?
aww the bunny
“kill it”
owie hope you dont get rabies edward
the ost man so good for both series
al really said J’ACCUSE
they didnt know the masked man was mason the first time around? aight
im really having trouble typing and eating dumplings at the same time
might pause for a dumpling break
i made these in the microwave theyre pretty good
def not the best ive had but they were, ya know, microwaved
anyways sad al hours
YOU THOUGHT THAT WAS YOUR BROTHER????
it’s the circle of life simba
getting REAL philosophical rn
“dont call me small”
now we’re getting REAL scientific
im just imagining these idiots on shrooms rn
mannnnnnnnnnnn
WAIT IMAGINE LING YAO ON SHROOMS
wow what a yummy snake breakfast
izumi said 👁 👄 👁
izumi is so hot
that is the creepiest motherfucker i ever did see
ok im gonna go rinse this dish out be back in a min!!!
episode 29: the untainted child
i am the tainted adult
you SURE his parents are lookin?
i feel like izumi is being very loving towards this child
what happened to tough love bbygirl
im not saying shes not loving in her ways but shouldnt she by nature be a litttttleeee bit more sus of this kid???
dont tell me
this is sig and izumi’s “child”
theory pending
winry is such a protective lil egg
here’s whats cookin in my head
its sig and izumi’s child and ed’s arm and leg smooshed together into a homunculus...theory still pending but im definitely right
WHY DOES SIG SLEEP W HIS EYES OPEN SIR!!!!!!!
whole situation is a mess my dudes
what did u do kid????? 
“i know ed lies sometimes”
l oh fucking l
who transmutes themselves with a bed though
not the move kid
OPE
of course winry slept through this whole thing
sheska and elicia and gracia. my heart.
did the colonel just LEAVE HER BEHIND? god what a dick
sheska WENT OFFFFFFFF!!!!!!
yes maam!!!!!!!
u tell that dumbass!!!!!!
why does envy have to sit like that
gon make me SIMP
embarrassing
*debby ryan hair tuck meme*
i love the way al sits
hes so dainty
what a gent
oh that lil kid was in the gate!!!!
how a homunculus is born? please tell me more
ARCHER....my sister was texting me about him when she asked how far i was. i googled him i saw his....bod....
yup
ARM AND LEG CONFIRMED
my brain waves are unparalleled
ED REALLY JUST YEETED WINRY AND KABEDONED THE HOMUNCULUS
EDWARD STOPPPPPPPPPPPPP OMG
off goes the kid
BIDOOOOOOOOOOO <3
why is she upset??? what did you realize izumi
that its your baby??? probs
im just that smart
episode 30: assault on south headquarters
YOKI LMAO
seeing yoki and scar makes me miss mei chang
MEI CHANG SUPREMACY
yoki really about to snitch
BIDOOOOOO
everyone showing up this episode
greed is gonna roll up with a venti frappuccino any minute now
archer is a creep
is this footage from the arnold classic?
“the muscles did the talking for them”
archer is a creep
who ru calling a freak HAHA AL’s angwy voice
ope
how IS hughes doing
pls not the pain
how did this kid come into the corporeal world
armstrong what
OUROBOROS
so he’s either wrath or pride ig
i dont think bradley is a homunculus in this one
yoki is basically michael yagoobian aka the bowler hat guy
there’s greed lmao 
with the ladies
EW NO PLEASE GOD
I DONT WANT ANY MORE SHOU TUCKER
KIMBLEE WHAT
WHAT THE FUCK WHO CUT HIS HAIR LIKE THAT
WHO ALLOWED THAT I AM CHOKING
NOT THE MULLET PONYTAIL
izumi taking on the military
of course
kimblee JESUS 
bradley is EVERYWHERE at ALL TIMES
this is rOUGH
there are so many parties vying for the kid
i still cant get over kimblee like WHAT
WHAT IS HIS PURPOSE HERE
AGAIN it just seems like bradley is everywhere at all times
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pinkykitten · 5 years ago
Text
HiGH
13 reasons why
Scott Reed x female! reader
Warning: getting high, vomiting, cursing, partying
Specifics: comedy, fluff, one-shot, race neutral reader
People: scott reed, jock dude, your friend, red haired cheerleader 
Words: 1,854
Requested: By anon 😍😁 I'd love a Scott Reed one with fem reader. Since its getting close to Halloween how about how they got/ get together at a Halloween party?
Authors Note: sorry guys for not posting a lot here ive been studying for exams and just my life is so complicated atm so forgive me i know i should post more its just all the stress ya girl sometimes gets writers block. i appreciate u guys still sticking w me reading my stuff and im glad to be posting something and feel good about it.
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The different array of colored lights shone brightly as a hit pop song blasted loud through the speakers. The party everyone at school was looking forward to. Only the best out of the best was present, stuffing their faces with alcohol and booze to wash down the pain and stresses of school and life. 
You were content with staying home, wanting to open a bag of chips and really experience Netflix and chill. Solo. Alone. By yourself. A lone wolf. Why in the world were you really here at this party? You were a nobody compared to all these wannabes. 
You were fidgety, playing with your fingers to control your anxiety of all these people and the atmosphere. It was so unlike you. Then you remembered. The only reason you were here was because your friend - not really - needed to trade with you the history paper you lent her. She was very persistent to get you to come to her rather than drive her car to your house. You were a very simple girl, you hated teenagers - even though you are one of them - and high school. But why did you dress your best to come to something you cared so little about? You had spent a little more over ten minutes just to pick your shoes! Did this gathering really matter to you?
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“Okay y/n you’re gonna go in there and swipe that paper out of her hands and go straight back home. You’re not going to look at the food, not going to be deceived into drinking and you are certainly not going to look at a boy and dance with them because you are better than that,” you spoke aloud to yourself walking up the stairs to the house, getting some cat calls and whistles sent your way. Opening the door you were greeted by a shirtless jock. He dripped with sweat or was that beer? He was dancing as if he was experiencing a seizure.
“Remember what you gotta do, y/n,” that phrase echoed in your head. You crawled past the dancing, then squeezed past the horny animals making out by the bathrooms. “Where the f*ck is she?” Your head whipped back and forth in search for your “friend.” You landed on her doing a chug contest. “Excuse me,” you would say periodically, shoving yourself beside hollering people. You stood beside her and tapped her on the shoulder. She didn’t want to mess with her chugging so she pointed on the table by the drinks. “Thanks.” The table was littered with people f*cking like they were experiencing sex for the first time. Moaning and groaning really wanting nerdy, single people - like yourself - feel very alone and really praying they would get that action tonight. You grabbed your paper having to really pull as there was an a*s cheek of a red haired cheerleader plopped on top of it. You grimaced as you pulled the paper, making note to wash your hands when you have the chance. 
“Now time to go home,” your determined self wiped your jacket getting ready to depart but your e/c eyes caught sight of a delicious looking drink. It was aqua blue with chunks of who knows what fruit in there. It was placed proudly on top of the kitchen counter. 
“Wipe out!” The jock screamed on the top of his lungs, sounding like an alarm. 
You covered your ears, annoyed. A group of teens took their cups and splashed some of the drink inside, enjoying the taste. “Why’s its called wipe out?” You asked the jock. Curious. 
The jock raised his brow, taking you in. 
“Pitiful,” you thought. 
“Its because, babe, there is a secret ingredient in here.” He motioned to you. 
Placing your palm on his chest you pushed him away, “I swear if its your jizz, count me out.”
“Its not, unfortunately, but just try it.”
You looked down and bit your lip. You were having a full out debate in your head, going back and forth with yourself. You had to do this paper. The party side took control of you and you snatched a cup from the table and poured yourself some “Wipe out.” You were totally going to regret this later. 
A boy stood beside you, filling his cup as well. You weren’t going to lie to yourself, he was a cutie. From the way his f-boy, blond hairstyle stood still with either hairspray or gel or who knows what, to his baby blue eyes. Your eyes traveled to his lips. He saw you staring and presented you with a smirk. A sexy smirk at that. You almost fainted! 
“This is bad,” your eyes widened as you felt light headed. You knew you could only keep away for so long. 
“Hey, I know you. You are in my bio class. You always sit up front.” No way this boy was Scott Reed. He was the talk of the school, having to be entwined with the drama of Bryce. “I’m-”
“Scott Reed. I know and I’ve seen you in class.”
“And your name is,” he pondered for a moment. “Y/n l/n.”
Oh dear. You were starting to sweat from the realization that you and Scott were on a knowing name base. That was enough to start something. Something you didn’t want to start because you didn’t know if you could finish it. 
“Wow didn’t think you were into this party life.”
“I’m not,” you took a large chug of your drink and Scott’s face looked disgusted. “What?”
“You’re not supposed to drink it that fast or all of that, for that matter. Okay you may experience being very...high.”
“High?” Yep it was truly a mistake for you step foot into this party. “There were drugs in that drink?”
“...yeah?”
“Scott!”
“Okay yes there was. I think only a little. Also alcohol, of course. It may not effect you though. Each person is different.”
You were feeling already dizzy. The world spinning but in a good way. As if you were on a ride. You were overwhelmed with the feeling of happiness and you were very, terribly hungry. The overpowering, booming music was low and muffled when it traveled through your ears. You were stoned and you wanted to dance. “DaNcE wHiP mE bAbEy.” You staggered back and forth. 
“You sure?” Scott asked, holding onto your arm. 
“Of CoUrSsSsSsSsSsSsSsE sCoTtY mCsNoTtY. GrInD wIf mEh.”
“Alright, if you say so.” Scott and you danced in the living room. 
With the shake of your hips and the pumping of your fists you felt like you were on cloud 9. 
There was a sea of fans, cheering your name.  “Y/n! Y/n! Y/n!”
You performed on stage. Basking in the limelight, the attention. You were a star, a performer. You sang and danced on stage with your backup dancers giving it their all. Everyone in the crowd sang along with you, knowing every word. It was perfection. 
Then you threw up and blacked out. 
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The pounding of your head woke you up, your eyes getting adjusted to new lighting. An unfamiliar jacket was on you and you heard the engine of a car. We’re you being kidnapped? You shot up and saw Scott - the boy from earlier - sitting beside you in his car. 
“You are not used to drugs,” he chuckled. 
“What happened?” You laid back calm. You touched your head thinking that was going to stop the pain. 
“You threw up. All over me.”
Eyes widening in horror having the knowledge that you threw up all over the cutest boy in school. That party was cursed. You covered your mouth seeing the stain on his shirt, “I am so sorry Scott. Lets go to Walmart right now, I’ll buy you a new shirt.”
Scott touched your hand to calm you down, “its fine y/n, really. How are you though?”
“Well, lets just say I’m never doing drugs,” you sighed. “I feel really bad for doing that to your shirt. I bet you wish you never met me.”
“I would never wish that. We all make mistakes and to be honest you are the good one out of all of us. Don’t worry about this. You live and learn.” Scott drove to a drug store. “Wait here.”
Waiting for what felt like hours you imagined Scott as your knight in shining armor. You were hating yourself for feeling this way about some boy but you couldn’t help but get butterflies in your stomach when you pictured his eyes, lips, face, and even his smirk in your head. He was like another drug. 
Finally, Scott returned to the car and with him was a couple of bags. “I got you some medicine to help with the mess and the feeling like you’re gonna throw up every minute.”
Scott was a lifesaver!
“I got you medicine also for the pounding in your head. I also got you water and this,” he scooped up a stuffed raccoon (ik this is weird but its the first thing i can think of) placing it in your arms. 
“Aww this is so cute Scott. Thank you for all of this, really I truly appreciate all you’ve done from driving me to getting me these meds. Its means a lot.”
“No problem y/n. I always wanted to accompany a beautiful lady in distress.”
“Well you picked the right one.” Nausea was the symptoms you were feeling at that moment. It was unknown to you if it was the drugs, alcohol, or Scott.
“What are you going to name the little guy?” Scott pretended to pet the fake raccoon. 
You stared at the stuffed animals eyes and knew what the littler vermin would be called. “Veneno. Its means drugs in Latin.”
Scott giggled. His smile making you weak in the knees. “That’s perfect.”
“I know right-” You hurled on the floor beside his car. It was almost like a continuous cycle. You, vomit, him, help. It was compared to a endless waterfall.
“Thats it.” Scott rubbed soothing circles on your aching back. “Let it all out. I’m here for you and not going anywhere.”
Feeling very sick at that moment, you clutched his hand for support. Finishing letting the drugs exit your body, Scott handed you the water bottle. “You know, you’re one of the good ones as well,” you croaked as your throat was burning. 
You drank, letting the cold liquid slide past your throat. Your eyes kept opening and closing. Throwing up takes a lot out of your body. You felt you were used as a punching bag and all you wanted to do was get some sleep.
Scott got in his car and started it. You were a fallen leaf, a wilted flower. Your head fell against Scott’s shoulder - like a dropping petal -  and there you fell asleep. 
“I think its time to take you home,” Scott whispered. 
Starting something with Scott meant something to you. Yes, you may have gotten high at a cheap, smelly party but at least you had the pleasure of meeting a young man who cared. 
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Tag list: @harrington-lover​​, @angelgl16​​, @perfectlybeautifulsuit​​, @hyehoney​​, @haven-prelude (wont let me tag), @leasly​​​, @totally-alexa21​​, @creamy-pasta-boi​​, @multireese​​, @fanfictionrecommendations-com​​, @prentisskelley​​, @malereaderforkpop (wont let me tag), @guardian-of-cookies, @justafangirl-97​​, @teenageshitposts (wont let me tag), @dippergravity (wont let me tag), @some-booty, @fromfoolishpeopletodeadpeople​​, @collectiveyou​​, @wtfisalltherandoms​​, @dirbel​​, @eastcoasthaven​​, @fangirl-4-life415 (wont let me tag), @melonreblogsstories​​​, @reginalinettis​​​
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hugsfromdad · 4 years ago
Text
Lemme tell you about the time I got introduced to a girls boyfriend as her baby daddy:
So, my younger brother (19) is adopted and his biological family is extremely close to this other family that used to live down the street. My brother grew up with the daughter(18), and they were/are best friends to the point of being more like siblings. Due to my brother only coming into my life just over 2 years ago, I hadnt met this friend yet. (Imma call her T)
Well, last summer my bother graduated highschool and his biological family threw him a party. T was there. She came late cause her family had moved out of state and it was quite a drive. So i had been hanging at the party for a long time when she showed up.
And lemme tell yall: this girl is gorgeous. I was genuinely confused as to how this (i assumed) 20something year old was so close and playful with my brother. Like, i expected her to be stuck up based on how she was dressed and looked. But she took her heels off the moment she arrived and cracked a joke about something, and 10 seconds into seeing her, i knew she was cool.
She and i wound up sitting pretty close to each other at the table, and we immediately connected and started mutually busting on my brother together. Oh i should mention that i was like 1 month on t at that point, but my voice had already dropped considerably. I was dressed very nicely tho.
By the end of the party, she and i were getting along great, and i think my brother hated us both just slightly. So, i had another graduation party i had to go to, and so I left about the time my brother, T, and a couple of his other friends were ditching his party to go get ice cream. We all walked out together. I think i gave him and T and the others hugs before I left (damn, remember back when we could do that? I miss that) and so while I was curious about T, I was driving for the next couple hours and didnt get to text my brother until that evening.
Welp.... So this is the fun part.
When my brother got in the car with his friends, they apparently all were talking about how hot i was. He mentioned that i was trans like him, and they all were like "couldn't tell." "He's hot either way" and stuff like that. WELL, T up and just goes "I'd fuck him."
Let's just say my brother was equal parts angry and amused and annoyed and entertained. So he tells me everything, so he texted me everything, and I subsequently had a mild stroke because I had never had someone speak so bluntly about attraction towards me before. Also my grey/asexual ass has no idea what to do with sexually bold comments.
So i then ask my brother who she is and how he knew her and such. I come to find out she had yet to turn 18, so once i got over my shock, I obviously was like 'this is amusing and I'm flattered, but i aint about to touch this cause I am not about to be accused of with flirting with a minor." However, I think i just texted him "NOPE. I dont mess with minors." Or something like that. Either way, i thought we were done.
I WAS OBVIOUSLY WRONG
so... I was the 20 year old who was not about to hit on or flirt with T. T, on the other hand, had ZERO problems with drooling over me. (I say drooling not to boost my ego, but because thats almost literally exactly what she did)
My brother realized immediately how much fun he could have with torturing T by using me. So, he just started snapchatting her everytime we hung out. This semi backfired on him tho because she would then immediately facetime him and tell him to give the phone to me. The conversation that usually went down was something like "can i have him?" "No." "But i want him." "No, T. You cant have him." "Let me see him." "No." "Lemme see himmmmmmm." And then the phone would be handed to me and i would sit there half awkwardly half amusedly smiling and saying hello as she just stared at me and gave me a very soft "haaaiii bennnn, how are you?" And then proceeded to compliment me to the point where i would just blush and then hand the phone to my brother when i didnt know what to do.
This went on for....months. She turned 18 at some point, but I wasnt trying to flirt back with her, i only made note of it because I was extremely relieved to at least know that the person hitting on my was legal. And i will say, she would say some very bold things to both my face, but even moreso to my brother. I think partly to piss him off, definitely cause she was dead serious about it, but also because I think he kinda picked up on the fact that i didnt know how to handle her saying those things to me. So...my brother regularly was shouting at her to shut up and that he didnt want to know those things, or that she was talking about his brother.
So eventually she went off to college, and she met a guy there (24ish) and they got together. He's very attractive, obviously relatively older than both her and i, and i was happy she found someone. ...I was also extremely relieved and therefore foolishly thought that that would be the end of it.
Oh how I was wrong.
So, due to quarantine, i hadnt seen my brother for a long ass time. He was with his bio family, and we just facetimed to stay in touch. However, he came over on Saturday and we just out in the yard.
WELL THIS ASSHOLE SENDS A SNAPCHAT TO T UNBEKNOWNST TO ME.
AND SO SHE CALLS. AND SAYS "lemme see my baby daddy'
i obviously was extremely flustered and concerned, so i was like asking her how she was, and how was school, and of course shes making comments about how handsome i am..and such. so im trying to not have to reply to those cause in my head im still dong the math that she has a boyfriend of a considerable amount of months, and so then i ask her about him, and how long theyve been together and so on.
Well,
SHE'S LIKE "oh, he's actually here:) you wanna meet him?"
When i tell y'all I started panicking. When I tell y'all ive never been so confused and concerned... I gave my brother a wide eyed look of shock and fear.
This woman. This absolutely bold and unconcerned woman walks into the other room, and goes "hey hun, you wanna meet my baby daddy?"
WHEN I TELL YALL I STARED AT MY BROTHER IN FEAR AND THEN ABSOLUTELY STUTTERED AND BLUSHED MY WAY THROUGH SAYING HELLO TO THIS ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL AND SOFT AMAZING MAN, Damn. This guy seems amazing, cause he just grinned and warmly went along with her and we said hello and such, and then i basically threw the phone at my brother and sat there in extremely concerned bemusment for the next 30 minutes
So yeah, that's it. I have no idea as to the inner workings of this woman's mind, but it shortens years off of this disaster bisexual's life. I am never prepared for her when she calls.
I hope yall enjoyed. I havent told a disaster bi story for awhile, and so I figured id share this one cause it greatly and equally amuses And stresses me out. I hope to typos arent too bad cause I'm half asleep✌
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reeree1500 · 5 years ago
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The Return- Part Three
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Okay y'all so here it is!! Part 3 of the Return series!!! Ivar and reader relationship developmentttttt💕 Hope you guys like itttt :) Lemme know if you guys wanna be tagged too. And don't kill meeeee pleaseee 😂
Part 1  Part 2 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 part 8 part 9 Part 10
Taglist: @yanii-the-hippie @oceans-daughter-3 @peaceisadirtyword @laketaj24 @amy8220 @cutegyrl927 @camatsuru @cindy-exo @cainismyname @affection-rabbit
Disclaimer: My sucky writing again. Bad grammar and spelling😂 Character death. And bad plot in general.
Your POV
Excitement. Thats all I could say I was feeling at the moment. To finally be back in Kattegat with my family was something I never thought would have happened again. After my father’s grand announcement of my return, the room overflowed with happiness. People were coming up to me, asking me where I had been for the past 6 years and how I had survived. Obviously, I tried to answer everyone’s questions to the best of my ability without giving too much information. For I still didn't know, the true reason as to why I had to leave or who wanted me gone.
The happiness in the hall however did not last very long. Aslaug, the woman who was questioning Bjorn earlier that night. Was actually my father’s wife. “Im sorry? She's your what now?!?!” Aslaug screams of sorrow over my existence could probably be heard all the way in Frankia. My father however, seemed to have very little interest in her reactions at all. He had cast her to the side as if she meant nothing to him. During the course of the next few hours neither my father nor Bjorn left my side. It was as if they thought something would occur to me if I was out of their side for more than a second. “Father, if it is alright with you I would like to go outside for some fresh air.” I tell him, whilst grasping his hand to truly catch his attention. Cupping my face he says “My sweet little girl, you may do anything you please. However, I would prefer that you do not stray too far from here, as I have just gotten you back. And I would not be able to handle losing you again.” With that he gives me a kiss on my forehead and sends me on my way. 
However, I can still feel the overbearing presence of my older brother. “Bjorn, you know Im not gonna run away, if thats what you're afraid of.” I tell him whilst stepping outside. “Im not afraid of you running away. Im afraid of something happening to you (y/n). Plus worrying about you is my job, always has been.” Leaning on one of the wooden beams, I cant help but to stare up at the sky and hold my cross between my fingers. Thinking to myself how different life would have been if I had not left. “ Im only a few steps away shout if anything happens. Okay?” “Okay! And Bjorn... I love you.” At that Bjorn kisses my forehead and walks back inside.
Unbeknownst to me, a certain dark haired man was lurking in the shadows. “Awwww, If I had a heart I would think that was probably the sweetest reunion Ive ever seen.” Turning to the sound of that familiar voice, I see Ivar leaning on his crutch making his way towards me. “I never thought that I would have a sister. And a Christian one at that.” The way that his eyes scan over my body makes me feel a certain way that I cannot quite describe. And the way that his features are outlined by the moonlight really gives a sense of how handsome he is. “Wait, are you implying that...” 
“Well, if all Christians are as slow as you I don't think we’ll have a problem conquering them.” A smirk is displayed on his face, while his eyes show a hint of deviance in them. “Why do you think that Bjorn and Ubbe look so much alike (y/n)?” “Or the fact that we all share similar traits like our eyes?” As Ivar continues to talk down to me as if I were a child, I start to connect the dots. Why it was that Bjorn and Ubbe look alike. The way that they all seem to share the same traits as my father. The four young men that Bjorn introduced me too, are actually my brothers. 
With wide eyes I come to the realization that...“You’re my brother.” “Took you long enough.” At that Ivar seems to crack what looks like a genuine smile. “You know, I always thought that I was the youngest, but now that I'm not...” The genuine smile I had probably imagined was now a devious one. “ Now, baby sister. Why don't you and I go and sit down by those steps down there. And you can tell big brother Ivar, what you've been up to all this time?” Without being able to answer, Ivar grabs my hands and takes me towards the steps. Why do I feel like this night is just getting started...
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Ivar POV
Needless to say all of us were in shock to learn that (y/n) was our sister. Especially Hvitserk, who had not only been enchanted by her beauty, but was  already planning how he would take her from Bjorn. I however, knew something was up the minute I saw her in the great hall. She had no scars whatsoever on her body, meaning she wasn't a shield-maiden. And absolutely no callouses on her fingers from when she took the ale, meaning she definitely wasn't a thrall. And Bjorn wouldn't cheat on Torvi, unless he wants his balls cut off. Something intrigued me about her instantly. It was if she had been sent to me by the Gods, her sharp tongue reminded me of mine. The way that she stood up for my mother not even knowing that she had caused Lagertha and Ragnar to break up amazed me. The way she handled herself with grace and dignity was exactly what I wanted. No, what I need for in a wife.
“Ivar, are you okay? You've been staring at me for the past 5 mins without saying a word.” (y/n) places her hand on my knee to draw my attention whilst looking straight into my eyes. “As a matter of fact, Im trying to piece together, how we’re the same age, and we never met before you left.” As she goes to lift her hand from my knee, something instinctively goes over me and I grab her and hold it were it was. The initial shock she and I both had at my actions soon subsided. She let her hand rest under mine. As if we had done this countless times before, our fingers intertwined and they in my eyes fit perfectly. I could see the inner turmoil inside her, on whether these small affectionate moments between us were something that was so wrong, but that felt so right. 
It was not just moments ago that I had found out she was indeed my sister. Blood of my blood. But somehow, something in me told me that we were meant to be. I felt safe and strangely loved by this person in front of me, whom I have never met before. “You know Ivar, we lived on a farm. I was 100% certain that I would be a farm girl for the rest of my life. I was content with knowing that I would spend my life tending to the animals and my family. But, this is just too much.” Looking down at where our once intertwined hands were. I see that she is now staring at the ground playing with the ends of her long braided hair. “Why? Because you feel as if you're not good enough? Look at me for Odin’s sake! Im a cripple!” At that moment our eyes connected and I saw a reflection of myself in her. A scared child who was deprived of a normal childhood. Seeking for acceptance and love from anyone. 
“(Y/n), come inside father wishes to speak to you.” Bjorn says coming out from the great hall ale in hand. Clearly drunk as well. “Sure thing, I’ll be there in a second.” As she goes to stand up (y/n) turns to me and kisses me on the cheek. “Thank you for the pep talk, big brother.” 
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I knew that I could not be the only one feeling this way. She had to have been feeling the same about me. And I will go to the ends of the world and face the God’s themselves if they think that for a second I will not make her mine. 
Your POV
What had I just done! I kissed him whether it be on the cheek or not. I kissed Ivar. My brother. Oh lord, forgive me for these sinful thoughts are consuming me. The intense feeling I got from us holding hands and from when he stared into my eyes. I had felt at home. Felt safe, felt something that I should only be feeling for the man I should marry. Not my brother! As I enter the great hall, all eyes turn on me. Remembering what I had just talked to Ivar about, I keep my head up. I shouldn't be ashamed, or feel as if I'm less than I am.
As I make my way to my father through the crowd once he spots me his eyes light up immediately. Sitting on his thrown he extends his hand and makes me sit on the throne beside his. “My beautiful daughter are you feeling alright now?” He says to me a little louder as if to make sure that people know not to mess with me. “Y..yes father Im feeling much better.” I murmur to him. At that moment my eyes trail off as if to find something that would take me out of this position right now. I have never been one to be the centre of attention. And as much as I wanna believe in myself that I can be a good princess to my people, at the moment that is not going to happen. As I scan the room my eyes land on Hvitserk. He’s eating a piece of chicken las if it were his last meal ever. I cannot help, but to laugh at him and that when he notices. He flashes a smile that could certainly melt any lady’s heart.  Without realizing I tuck a strand of hair behind my ear and bit my lip. Biting my lip when Im nervous is something Ive always done.
However, what did not realize was Ivar eyeing me from behind him. At that I stop and stare at the ground. As the hours go by, finally the last person leaves the great hall. Leaving only my father and brothers with me. “Sooooo, where is (y/n) supposed to sleep, father?” Asks Ubbe. Coming from behind me Hvitserk puts his arm around my shoulders bringing me closer to his body. “She can sleep with me! I don't mind sharing my bed with her.” At this Ivar scoffs. “Of course you wouldn't, you wouldn’t mind sharing your bed with anything that has a pulse.” I tilt my head trying to figure out whatever he means by that. And all that can be heard is the snickering of my father. 
“I was thinking that perhaps I could sleep with Bjorn. You know since we used to share a room when we were little...” I say wishing that what I feel most comfortable with could be taken into account. “I don't know about that one baby sis, you'd have to ask Torvi. She defiantly doesn't like sharing thats for sure.” as Ivar says this he smirks at me while taking bite out of his apple. “Who’s Torvi?” “Wait! Bjorn didn't tell you? He's married.” 
At that moment a scream was heard throughout the town.
“Oh My God, Mira!!!!” at that moment I shot out of Hvitserk’s arms and ran as fast as I could. How could I have been so stupid that I left my friend by herself in an unknown place. Seeing the people gathered around Bjorn's cabin only made my heart more nervous. Pushing my way past the crowd I make it up the steps in one piece. But what I saw would forever haunt me. There on the floor lied my once best friend and most trusted subject Mira. And on her back was carved the death rune. All I remember is hitting the floor and watching a pair of worried and frantic electric blue eyes.
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jackandmarksavedme88 · 6 years ago
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Anything But Average
TW: Alludes to some violence. @weirdmixofweirdness i had a brain and thought: why not pull up desktop mode ONTHEFREAKINPHONE. DUH 😂🙈
Formatting sucks but. Yeah.
@ashphoenix06 @nekob00
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Chase sat at the bar, his second glass of whiskey in his hand. He didnt want to go home, JJ and Jackie would want him to talk. And he just didnt feel like talking now. Itd been so long since she left it seemed...but seeing her today, across the street, holding hands with some guy theyd gone to school with, it seemed she was his just yesterday.
"Oh suck it up. She didn't want you. Youre here drowning your sorrows, and shes onto the next dick..deal with it" he thought to himself, draining the glass and waving for another.
"Ya know. Thats the cheap crap. You really wanna get blasted theres better stuff.." The bartender said "Yeah well. Im just drinking. Not getting crazy."
His phone buzzed and he looked down, laughing to himself at the meme Jack had sent him. Then a text came through from Alison She was Jacks friend that had become close with the Septic guys over the last few years. Based in Texas in the US they didnt see her in person much, but Chase and her communicated almost daily
A:Heyyyy. Whats up?
C: *picture he took of Stacey and her boy toy* Thats a guy we went to school with 😑. They were 'friends'
A: Dude. Thats a downgrade. Although she was never good enough for you anyway. Only good thing was the kiddos
C:yeah. It still hurts like hell though.... I need to run away. Get out of here. Theyre going to her moms for a month or so for school holidays and i dont want to be here.
A:well. You could always come here? My Dad and step mom are leaving so i have my cabin on the ranch plus the main house to myself for like a month. You should come!
Chase sat and pondered this. Him go to Texas? With horses and a lake and a bunch of land to explore with fourwheelers....that sounded like heaven
C: Are you for real? Because i could seriously use that lol
The phone rang with Alisons ringtone "Hello?"
Alison: Hell yes im serious! Itd help me out because i don't really want to be by myself out here that long. And you sound like you could use it. Seriously. Fly in, ill come get you and we can tear some shit up
Chase laughed 'alright. Be careful what you ask for Allycat"
Her laugh echoed across the line "Ohhh im shaking Mr Brody. Figure out a flight and let me know!"
Chase told her ok and hung up with her, immediately finding a flight that left in a couple of days "I am outta here" he said
************* 'Wait. So youre going for a month??' Jackie said in shock , 'Just like that??' He was standing in the bedroom door watching Chase pack. He had to be at the airport in about 2 hours
"Yeah. I need to get outta my head and Ali offered. So Im going. I think it'll do me some good. She has a computer and Stacey said i could skype the kids, they wont be in town anyway... I just need this Jackie" The hero stared at him knowingly and then nodded 'ok. Just be careful.... Hey..She ever say anything to you about her going MIA a while back?'. Chase shook his head. Thats one thing he hoped to get out of her. Even Jack had tried to get her to tell him where she'd been, but no dice. 'Hm. Ok. Well, let us know when you get there man...'
Chase zipped his suitcase and grab his backpack and slung it over his shoulder. 'I will bro. Thanks for understanding' he hugged his brother hard and then grabbed the suitcase and left.
******* Chase sat in the passenger seat of the truck, still speechless at Alison's appearance. He was expecting the Alison hed seen two years ago; but shed been training and gained muscle and holy hell. She was dressed in cutoff red shorts and a sleeveless black shirt. When she ran up to him at the airport hed almost stepped on his own bottom jaw. Her auburn hair gleamed in the sun as she talked about everything she had planned for this weekend
"Uh...chase..you ok? Awful quiet there bud" she looked over at him. Chase shook his head to clear his brain 'yeah. Yeah im good.... Hey. You look incredible!"
Alisons face flushed 'aw. Thanks' she laughed. "So. Here we are" she pulled the truck up to a gate and punched in a code. As she drove onto the ranch Chase stared out the window.
'Holy hell Alison. This is gorgeous.' They drove for another fifteen minutes, passed the huge main house and pulled up to a log cabin.
'Alright. Let's go in.' She grinned and stepped out of the truck. Chase smiled and followed her. She walked up the steps and unlocked the door. As Chase walked in he laughed. A Sam pillow and Pink Mustache pillow decorated the couch on either end.
'Really Alison?' He said, picking up Septiceye Sam "Hey! Yes really!' She said laughing. 'Just because im friends with them doesnt mean im not going to buy their shit!' He shook his head, all awkwardness gone.
There was the Alison he knew, a goofball with an affinity for Markiplier and Jacksepticeye.
She walked into the kitchen and opened the fridge, pulling some steaks out. 'You hungry?' Chase nodded. 'Hell yes, ive been needin some of your cooking!' He said, his smile lighting his face. 'You know. Im gonna have to teach you how to cook Mr Brody.' She grinned at him. And he looked at her wide eyed "um..alison. You sure you wanna do that?' "Um. Yes" she said. Grinning at him. 'First lesson..music!' She pulled up an app on her phone and music began drifting through the room. Chase shook his head. Yep. Still Alison
****** Chase watched as Alison danced in place as she cut up some vegtables and potatoes. She was barefoot, singing along to the beginning notes of 'Small Town Boy' by Dustin Lynch, he smiled as he stood up from the barstool he was sitting on... Vegatables could wait He walked up behind her and took the knife from her hand, she turned to him 'what are you-?' Chase grabbed her hand and pulled her to the open kitchen floor and started dancing with her. She threw her head back and laughed as they swayed and Chase sang along
* I'm a dirt road in the headlights I'm a mama's boy, I'm a fist fight Kinda county line, kinda cold beer Little hat down, little John Deere I kinda give a damn I kinda don't care You see that girl standing right there She loves a small town boy like me She's my ride or die baby She's my cool, she's my crazy She's my laid back in the front seat She's my with me to the end girl My turn-it-up-to ten girl....* Alison laughed and sang with him. She was in trouble if her stomach and heart were going to continue playing Zoo escape with him here. Shed been friends with the guys a while. But this was out of left field. She hadnt expected her heart to try to beat its way out when she saw him standing there at the airport. His green hair had been replaced by a natural brown and his eyes shone as blue as ever. When he saw her and smiled as she started to run toward him for a hug, shed almost fallen over. This would be a very interesting visit.
*********** They were sitting on the back porch after dinner. Chase was watching Alison animatedly talk about training with some of the guys in her Dad's work, laughing when she knocked over her water glass when her hands flew into it 'Oh shit!' Alison cried out. Then she just started laughing and Chase couldnt help but laugh along with her as he went inside the sliding glass door to the kitchen and grabbed a towel and handed it to her. She mopped up the mess and then sat back down, still giggling.
'Well. Still gracefull as ever i see Miss Calaway' Chase said teasingly She stuck her tongue out laughing 'oh fuck off Mr Brody' They laughed and then sat in silence, watching the lake.
'So.' Alison said quietly 'how are you...really?'
Chase smiled at her 'you know.... Earlier this week i was in hell. Seeing her with him opened old wounds...but being here now i feel a little better. Like i can breathe. It hurts still. But i can breathe' Alison nodded and reached over and squeezed his hand 'im really glad you came. I needed some company...'
She dropped her hands to her lap and stared out at the water. The energy around them shifted and Chase could sense something hed been feeling all evening. Something was weighing heavy on her. 'Alison....whats going on? You never told me what happened that two week span you quit replying to anyone..and ive left it alone this long but.. i can tell now sitting here it wasnt a case of being too busy with fun stuff to look at your phone' Alison looked down, a mixture of sadness and guilt shadowing her face. He was talking about last year. Even Jack had tried to get out of her where shed been...but she hadnt told a soul. Only her family knew. Tears welled in her eyes... that had been during a bad time for Chase...she remembered the pain in the drunk texts from him that shed read when she got the phone back...
She stood and walked over to the railing. Trying not to cry and failing 'Hey...alison im sorry. I didnt mean to-..' Chase stood and walked up beside her and put an arm around her shoulders. She turned to face him and burying her face in his chest, silent tears rolling down her face for a moment. Then she took a deep breath, stepped back and wiped her face 'Sorry...its just... I never apologized for not being there for you. I read those texts a million times after the fact and... Im so sorry Chase'
Chase stared at her shocked 'thats whats upsetting you? Alison, i send angsty texts to my brothers every time im freakin drunk' he laughed. "You dont need to apologize. It was a bad point but nothing for you to feel guilty for being absent for... But i would like to know where you were. We all know when you reappeared you were different." Alison stared into his eyes, hed had never noticed how green they were. She was searching...but for what? 'Chase.... Not even Jack knows what happened...' She took a deep breath '....i was in the hospital.' Chases mouth dropped open in shock 'What?! Why???'
She stared at her feet and was quiet for a minute. 'Do you remember Chris?' She asked. Chase grimaced at the name, he remembered Chris. He also remembered the broken nose and black eye he gave him a couple years back when he saw him shove Alison to the ground "Yeah. Your boyfriend that no one liked?' She nodded 'yeah. That one.... God i shouldve listened to yall. ' Chase put his hand under her chin and lifted her gaze to his and spoke softly 'what did he do ali?' She swallowed hard. 'Short version? Got mad that i wanted to leave the country to come see yall.... Tied me up and used me as a punching bag for 3 days....'
Chases eyes widened in horror 'what the fuck....howd you get away???' She snorted 'my Dad came to find me.... Imagine for yourself how pretty that was' Chase knew it hadnt been.
Her father was famous for being called The Undertaker. Almost seven feet tall and 300lbs...and Alison was his little girl. His first daughter. His pride... Oh lord that couldnt have been good....
'So' she continued 'i was in the hospital for a good while... Actually the first time i texted you i was still there for another week.... ' Chase pulled her into a hug 'Ali im so so sorry..my God if i had known...' Alison laughed 'if you had known you wouldve been deported and arrested for murder...no i didnt want anyone knowing. Im the one who stayed when yall told me to leave. I'm the idiot.' Chase leaned back, arms still around her. 'No! Its not your fault. I dont care what we told you to do. You want to see the good in people. You want to believe everyone is good and thats an amazing trait. You should never think thats stupid' She smiled and leaned into his chest savoring the warmth and safety.
Later, after they had said goodnight and gone to their rooms, Chase lay there awake. He could still feel her head on his shoulder, feel the warmth from her, and his heart skipped. "What the hell is going on ??' He hadnt felt that since high school...that first skip of the heart when you find someone.... 'Oh grow up Brody. Shes your best friend and doesnt need your damaged ass complicating her life..' Little did he know she was in the room at the opposite end of the hall thinking along the same lines...
****** A week had gone by, they danced around the flirtation and the obvious tension that lay under their banter. The day before it had rained, creating mud puddles everywhere. Now it was sunny and muggy out. Alison excitedly threw a pair of 4-wheeler keys to Chase and grinned as she pulled her ponytail through the back of the hat she was wearing. Chase watched as she bounded down the front steps and followed suit. They were both in jeans. The day before Chase had bought a cheap pair of boots he could get muddy. They were heavy but at least it wasnt his sneakers. They headed down the path between Alison's and the main house. Chase studied her as they walked. He hadnt been as brave since the first night. He wanted to say something....anything. But he wasnt sure where to start. 'You good ?' Alison stopped walking and looked at him, his face flushed slightly "Yeah, im good. Ready to tear up the mud' Alison laughed 'well the shed is right over here. I keep mine here since its closer to my place' They rounded the bend in the path and came upon the metal shed. She unlocked the door and walked in, pulling the tarp off the two four-wheelers. She threw a michevious grin at Chase as she climbed on hers "You ready to get dirty?' She laughed Chase grinned 'Hell yeah!' He climbed on his and they roared to life, Alison shot out of the building and took off, he threw his head back laughing and started after her
****** After about an hour or two of flying through mud and water puddles, they were sitting on the edge of the lake on a blanket Alison had laid out under the big umbrella. Chase had his shirt off as it was wet and muddy. He looked over at her and couldnt help but laugh. She had mud streaked down her arms and some on her nose.. The only part that wasnt spotted was her legs. Shed taken off the jeans and was in her swim shorts that had been under them.
'What?!' She said
'Youre a little...uh...dirty there girl' She laughed 'you should see yourself, your floofy hairdo aint cuttin it kid' she said as she reached over and messed up his hair, dirt falling out 'Hey!' Chase cried and grabbed her hand as he chuckled 'you leave my hair alone. Youre just jealous' Alison laughed and rolled her eyes. 'Yeah. Ok' They sat next to each other in silence, her knees pulled up and arms wrapped around them. She leaned against his side and looked like she was ready to fall asleep on his shoulder. Chase scooted over to the far side of the blanket and laid back, then pulled her down so her head rested on his chest and an arm was around her. His pulse raced and she easily fit in his arm and curled against him.
She sighed contentedly 'hey Chase... Anytime i need to lay with someone im gonna find you. Because youre really comfortable' she said giggling. He laughed 'ok. But youll have to come across the pond a lot' 'Hmm' she said thoughtfully 'ok. Im good with that. Ill come over there for some Brody cuddles' He squeezed her and smiled. 'Hey....Ali?'
'Yeah?' She shifted her head so she could look up at him. Her heart raced as she caught his eyes. Shed been having trouble concentrating on anything since he took his shirt off and this wasnt any easier.
'What are we avoiding here?' He asked... He hadnt meant to be so blunt but it just kind of came out that way. 'I mean. We're good and normal and then other times its so freaking awkward..i dont get it' 'I-.' Alison didnt really have an answer for that. She knew what she thought she was avoiding. But she wasnt 100% sure. 'I dont know.. I mean... I think its obvious theres something to talk about. But neither of us wants to say it'
Chase stared into her green eyes intently 'Well if you want to say what i want to say, then fuck this silence. Tell me'
Alison sat up and looked the other way and he followed. 'Its not just that easy for me Chase.... I dont know what you want...i dont know what im supposed to do..i dont know wh-'.. '
He grabbed her chin and turned her face towards his 'what i want is for you to shut up and kiss me...what youre supposed to do is stop rambling and let me show you'
With that he pressed his mouth to hers and kissed her. Slowly at first and then harder. She sat up on her knees and wrapped her arms around his neck as she kissed him back. They pulled away breathless and stared at each other.
'Now alison' he said, his voice husky "Whyd you wait so long to do that?' He grinned and pulled her to him again and kissing her deeper, laying back, her laying halfway across his chest. After a moment she pulled away and laid her head down on him and laughed 'Holy crap' He laughed out loud, 'yeah... Thats one way of putting it' He kissed the top of her head and wrapped her in his arm, they both drifted off..
****** It was a month and a half later. Chase stood by the front door. Nervous. He didnt want to leave. They hadnt been what youd call official..neither of them labled it . Sure they had held hands, slow danced with each other, kissed and gotten close..but it wasnt like *that* was it?... And now he was going home. He wasnt supposed to feel this way. His heart wasnt supposed to ache like this....
Alison stood in her room making sure she had her keys and phone...stalling. "What the hell...why is this so damn hard. Hes my best friend....a great kisser...but my best friend! Its not supposed to be like this' she thought to herself. Walking out she caught his eyes and saw her sadness reflected there
'Are you ready to go?' She inquired, trying to sound happy
"....you want the truth or the answer thatll make you feel better?' He chuckled.
'Chase...' She stood by him and grabbed his hand... 'I know, i know. We live a million miles from each other... I just didnt think it would-' 'Hurt this much?' She said, staring up at him He sighed and wrapped an arm around her, pulling her in and kissing the top of her head. 'Yeah' She opened the door and they walked out to the truck.
******** 'Seriously. Come out sometime, the boys and me will show you a good time' Chase said Alison smiled at him ' Definitely...ill miss you. Thank you for coming. I had a blast'
Chase smiled and her 'And stop standing so far away.' He grabbed her hand and pulled her close 'its harder to kiss you goodbye from over there....if thats okay.... Just one last time?' She smiled and nodded as a blush crept to her cheeks he leaned down and kissed her, both of them holding on longer than they intended. 'Alison...dont be a stranger' he said. Hugging her one last time and picking up his bags. 'I..i wont Chase. Tell everyone i said hi'
She waved goodbye and watched him walk toward his gate, then turned and headed for her truck. When she got inside she let go of her control and cried. The tears didnt stop until she was back to her place. She walked into the room Chase had been staying in and found one of his worn shirts folded on the bed with a note and a small bottle of cologne. She smiled and cried a little reading it
'I know its not the same as falling asleep on me. But this is the cologne i use, you can wear the shirt or use it as a pillow case... Ill miss you' She laid down on the bed and could still smell him as she drifted to sleep
******** 'Dude. You were supposed to go over there to get happier. Now youre just more mopey. What the hell happened?' Jackie asked Chase
They were in the living room, Chase sprawled on the couch. It had been almost two weeks since he came home 'Jackie. Just leave it alone man. Ok? I dont want to talk about it'
'Chase, you need to talk about it. I havent seen you like this ever. When Stacy left you cried and drank and talked about it... You dont even drink anymore. You just sit and watch tv or sleep' Jackie said, worry coating his words.
Chase sat up 'look man. Im an idiot and i caught feelings at the wrong time and the wrong place. Ok? And it hurts because i cant be where i need to be and where i want to be at the same time! I dont drink because then i dream about her and....'
His words drifted off Jackie came to sit by him and put an arm over his shoulder ' you always dream about Stacy though. I thought the sleeping pills helped with that'
Chase put his head in his hands 'Bro. This isnt about Stacy. I never thought id say this but i think this hurts worse'
Jackie was shocked. He couldnt believe what had just come out of his brothers mouth 'Then...who? And what did they do that was so bad???'
Chase shook his head 'thats just it. Nothing bad. It was all amazing... But.. Damnit man. I just wish it wasnt so fucking far, you know?' Jackie thought for a minute and his eyes widened and mouth dropped as he caught on
'Holy shit you mean Alison???' Chase's head shot up 'Jackie if you tell anyone so help me ill strangle you' Jackie put his hands up 'No no. I wont..but..what happened?' Chase laughed 'nothing like that... We just kissed and cuddled a lot and... I really think i fell for her man and i dont know how to process it... I feel like I'm losing my mind.' Then he opened up and told Jackie everything about the trip. His brother just sat and listened.
*************** Two weeks later...
'Alison!' Jack ran over to her, shed begged him to pick her up at the airport but hadnt wanted anyone to know. Hed been happy to oblige. Confused. But happy
'Jack!' She ran over to him and hugged him hard. Shed missed this goofball
'Ok so are you going to tell me whats going on?' Jack said as they grabbed her bags and walked outside to where the Uber was waiting for them
' um.... Its a little hard to explain. But.. I just had to come ok? Im actually meeting my Dad tomorrow. Theyre here because of a movie shoot. We are all staying a month or so.'
Jack shook his head 'i know when youre lying. Theres something youre not tellin me Ali' She looked at him. Knowing hed either laugh or help her... Well only one way to find out
'Jack....when Chase stayed with me for that month... We..I.... I fell for him ok? And i think he feels the same way. And this last month has been hell because i cant stop thinking about him. I know it sounds crazy but i had to come see him, and yall. ' it came out in a rush.
Jacks mouth dropped open in shock. 'You mean...youre the reason Chase has been so mopey? Thank God i thought he was on about Stacy again' and he laughed 'So. Wanna suprise him?' His smile conspiratorial Alison grinned. She shouldve known she could count on him.
*********** 'Well why do i need to go Jack? Why dont you?' Chase whined into the phone 'i dont feel like talking to anyone about filming man. I dont have it in me' 'Chase. Youre going. Trust me. Just meet the agent at the park. Theyll be by the river. Itll be a good opportunity for you man' Jack said on the other end of the line, trying to keep from laughing. 'And what about the others? Jackie and everyone left the house today. They said they were staying with you tonight because you were filming some stuff. Why cant i help?' Chase questioned 'Look Chase. I need you to do this for me. Ok? Please bro?' Chase rolled his eyes 'fine. But this better be a good meeting' Jack hung up the phone and laughed 'oh trust me Brody. Youll love it' he said to himself. Shooting alison a text. 'Now we wait'
At the house Chase threw the phone. He wanted to be mad but he knew Jack was just worried. Hed been holed up in his room since he came back, hadnt touched his skateboard in a month, hadnt even looked at his PS4.. All he could do was go through the photos from his trip. Hed talked to Alison on facetime and she seemed to be happy, was training and riding horses. She had sent him phtos of her and her Dad and little sisters... He felt like he was lying to her. He said he was okay, just more tired...but the reality was he wanted to beg her to come to him. He wanted to tell her he thought he loved her-- but he just kept a smile on his face because as long as she was happy, thats all that mattered
****** Later that night Alison sat on the bench. Nervously playing with the hem of her dress she had bought that morning. He should be here any minute.... What if he was mad...what if he didn't want her here? What if.... She recieved a text from Jack
J:Hes there.
Her heart pounded. Now what? She sat and waited...hearing footsteps
* Chase could see someone on the bench by the water and headed that way. As he walked his eyes focused on the figure. Their hair was an auburn color... That thought made his heart ache as he remembered brushing Alisons from her face... He got close enough to the bench and the figure stood and turned toward him. His heart jumped and he almost fell down 'Al-alison?' He whispered. Not believing what he was seeing. 'Chase..' She said softly. Her face broke into a smile as tears filled her eyes. She ran to him and he embraced her. He finally let go and looked down at her grabbing her face with both hands "ali what the hell are you doing here?!' Tears rolled from her eyes 'Chase....i couldnt stay away anymore. Im sorry...i know i shouldve told you but i didnt know if you wanted me here and-' her words were cut off as he kissed her. She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him back. When they pulled back he looked at her for a long minute and then spoke as he wiped her tears 'Dont ever apologize for making me this happy...ever. Of course i want you here. Its been hell just talking to you on FaceTime and not being able to say what im thinking. My God Alison i missed you more than i thought possible' She smiled and kissed his cheek and hugged him again. Savoring the feel of his arms around her
'Cmon. Lets go talk' he said pulling out his phone to call a ride 'I got it' she said grinning 'My dad loaned me a driver for my trip' she called someone and said whered they be. As they walked to the road Chase saw a black limo waiting and laughed 'Well. That beats an Uber'
As they rode he just stared at her. She was looking out the window. His heart beat faster. She came....she missed him so much that she came all the way here. He smiled to himself and then shot Jack a text
C:'Youre an ass for letting me walk into that unwarned....but thank you man'
J:no thanks needed. I did it for both of you. You both deserve smiles on your faces man. Now put the phone down... Also Jackie said to tell you 'stay in your own room' 😂
Chase laughed out loud and covered his face. He was going to have to smack him Alison looked over 'whats so funny?' She reached for the phone and snatched it before Chase could stop her 'alison i wouldn-' he warned laughing 'Oh my god.... Im gonna have to smack him when i see him' she said laughing as her face turned red. They both giggled and Chase grabbed the phone and turned it off after sending 'tell him i said ..' Followed by a couple of middle finger emojis
***** They walked into the house and Chase locked the front door before grabbing Alisons hand and kissing her again. He couldnt believe she was here. Alison leaned into him and kissed him back and then said smiling 'i cant believe im standing here' Chase laughed 'i cant either! I mean...why would you come all this way??' Alison locked eyes with him. 'Because... I never knew i could miss someone so much Chase. Honestly it was driving me nuts. I got tired of having the pictures from your trip and FaceTime with fake 'hey buddy' bullshit..... But i wanted to say it to your face.
Chase nodded. He knew exactly what she meant.
** Alison had been there a week and couldnt get over the fact that she was with him. Chase was sprawled out on the other side of the king sized bed and snoring. They had both decided to stay in the hotel room she had reserved for her time here. Chase wasnt used to such a huge bed and Alison laughed thinking back to his face when he first laid on it. She laid her book down and reached over, brushing his hair back and smiling. He stirred and blinked at her sleepily "Ali-- you ok babe?" Her heart jumped at that name. She felt a blush spreading as he sat up and his bare chest became visable. "Yeah- yeah. Was just admiring how cute you were when you sleep" He chuckled and ran his fingers through his hair "what. Are you saying im not cute when im awake? " "Well....when youre asleep youre much quieter" she said laughing. His mouth opened in fake offense and then he grinned mischeviously "Oh. Okay.." He rolled over and caught her and tickled her and she laughed and squealed. 'Chase! Chase! Okay i give i give!!" He stopped and looked down at her as he laid across her and laughed 'youre pretty cute yourself Alleycat " he kissed the tip of her nose and she craned her mouth up. He smiled and leaned down to kiss her and she wrapped her arms around him. He still wasnt used to the sparks that went through his brain with her. That first night hed stayed with her they... Caught up.. quickly. He was still addicted to the taste and feel of her even after as many times hed experienced her. "Ali-" he whispered as he placed his forehead to hers "Yeah Chase?" "I...i think... This is gonna sounds insane' he laughed She pushed him up so she could look in his eyes "Baby...what?" Chase stared into her green eyes. Never having been more sure of what he was about to say...knowing if he didnt hed never sleep "Alison..... I love you...and i know thats crazy. I never thought id ever say that to anyone with this feeling behind it after her....but honestly if she walked up to me right now and asked me to come home...id say no. Youve made me feel whole. You make me the man i want to be. Even my kids when i saw them yesterday asked why i was so happy... ' He stopped and grinned sheepishly "i kinda talked about you a little...they want to meet you. I told them maybe in a couple of weeks..but thats up to you..Stacy was cool with it if you are..' She stared at him, not knowing what to say. A smile broke across her face and her eyes misted over "Chase...id love to meet them..." She pulled him to her and kissed him before saying quietly 'and Mr Brody...you should know. I love you too.." *****
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curly-q-reviews · 6 years ago
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FLIX FROM THE NET
Bird Box, 2018 (dir. Susanne Bier)
SPOILER WARNING THERE WILL BE SPOILERS DONT READ IF U HAVENT SEEN IT YET AND WANT TO
[TW: SUICIDE, MURDER, VIOLENCE, BLOOD, GORE]
well fuck its been a while!!  happy new year y’all hope u had a Fun and Safe time!!!  i for one was at a party where we started playing Shrek at exactly 10:39 PM to see if Smash Mouth’s hit song I’m a Believer started playing right at midnight and to my utter disbelief and elation it did!!!  move over times square ball drop a new arbitrary way of celebrating the start of a new calendar year is here and it involves a large green monster with a scottish accent who really loves his onions (#me am i right ladies)
WELL ANYWAY heres a fun new series ive been thinking of starting cause ya girl watches a lot of netflix movies and has many opinions about them.  i think i’ll do a separate post about the whole Netflix Original Film trend in general and how its changed the film industry at a later date but since i just watched the above movie not too long ago i wanted to get all my thoughts out there right fuckin now!!
netflix is without a doubt the OG king of streaming services, they were really the first to get the ball rolling and then dozens of other companies scrambled to latch onto this money train while it was rolling on the tracks full steam (or should i say.... stream EL;KGHS;EKFSH; please end me) ahead.  it started out as a rental subscription service where u could pick out three movies at a time to rent and then they were sent to u in the mail (like blockbuster but now you never have to leave your house ever again to get that sweet sweet rental content).  and then the decision was made to actually start online streaming, no physical DVD’s required!  ISNT TECHNOLOGY GREAT
well whoooo boy this shit swept the nation, people couldnt get enough of such a convenient and relatively affordable service and netflix started really raking in the dough.  and at some point they got rich enough to say “hey fuck it!!!  lets make our own movies baby!!!!”  and here we are now with Netflix Original Movies and TV Shows, which means a new player has entered the movie game in a very novel and innovative way.  why pay money for a movie ticket and leave your house to go to a theater when cool new movies are being released on a subscription service u already own to watch movies you already know and enjoy?  and then u can sit butt-ass naked in ur bedroom alone stuffing ur face with cheese puffs like an insatiable cheddar beast and see something new and fun and interesting
ok so.  Bird Box.  here we have a movie based off of a book (so i guess this also counts as a Book Movies review but I DIGRESS) starring hollywood powerhouse sandra bullock, featuring Supreme Lesbian Overlord Sarah Paulson and Resident Crazy Old Man John Malkovich, directed by a relatively unknown but competent female filmmaker Susanne Bier (who also directed Things We Lost in the Fire in 2007, a moving drama starring Halle Berry).  this one definitely has a lot of proimse compared to what netflix has offered so far in terms of their original movies (im gonna get into Dumplin’ at a later date cause jesus christ what a mess) and i went in with pretty high expectations
did it deliver???  well uuhhhh yeah sort of i guess!!  we got some pretty strong performances from our leading lady bullock who really does deliver it every time, a few strong supporting roles like newcomer Trevante Rhodes of Moonlight fame (his energy on screen is just so compelling and soothing), not overly obnoxious child actors which is really all u can ask for, and overall a solid story. 
now heres where i gotta say that i couldnt help comparing this film to another movie of its kind, directed by the notorious M. Night Shyamalan.  y’all remember The Happening?  cause i remember The Happening.  i remember that it was total shit and that the twist was that it was the fucking plants making everyone kill themselves.  the PLANTS.  and i also remember mark wahlbergs dumb-ass confused face that he used in every single shot no matter the context, im AMAZED i remember zoe deschanel in this movie cause she may as well have been one of the killer plants with how little she emoted, and i remember mark wahlberg yelling at a fake office ficus and apparently i was supposed to be scared while watching this clusterfuck. 
the way that this movie was described to me by friends who had seen it before me was basically that Bird Box is a slightly better The Happening, and no truer words have ever been spoken.  we basically have the same premise going on here:  unknown force is causing people to off themselves, our lead(s) have to try and find a way to escape this unknown force without even knowing what it really is, and theres some sort of “sanctuary” they gotta try and get to (which is a common plot point in really all apocalyptic and post-apocalyptic films).  now whereas The Happening’s rules for this scenario make entirely no fucking sense (how in the fuck are u supposed to be able to out-run WIND???), Bird Box has some rules for dealing with this Unknown Thing that make slightly more sense.  when u open ur eyes while outside, the chance of the Thing making u kill urself in some horrific way is extremely high, so wear a blindfold when ur outside and keep all windows covered when ur inside.  makes sense!  thats something i can believe and get behind which makes me more immersed in the story!
unfortunately like The Happening there are still some little things that kinda dont make much sense and take u out of it.  apparently some people when they see this unknown entity dont wanna die, but instead find it absolutely beautiful, which makes them want to make everyone else look at it to see how beautiful it is.  and its insinuated that these people are mentally ill or have some sort of psychiatric issue.  i get that this adds more stakes to the situation and ups the ante, but it doesnt really sit well with me that once again, mentally ill people are the villains in a horror-type story.  and i also dont really understand why theyd then wanna go around and make other people see the thing??  unless the thing has them in a mind-control state or something and is making them do its bidding but that seems kind of a weird thing for an all-powerful evil formless entity to do. 
and that leads me to the next issue i have with Bird Box.  if ur gonna have an apocalyptic scenario where people do something as serious as kill themselves due to an unknown cause, it almost seems a little cliche and cheesy to have it be some sort of mythical celestial god-like or demon-like entity thats doing the damage.  i actually really liked where The Happening was going with its source of all the chaos being something naturally made, like the Earth deploying some sort of self-preservation mechanism or something.  the idea of that to me is actually loads more frightening than some invisible boogeyman that u cant look at.  and then Shamalamadingdong had to go and make it stupid by saying that it was fucking plants trying to kill people by releasing pheromones or some shit.  like why cant we have the best of both of these??  something naturally-occuring that maybe has even happened before in the planets history (maybe it wasnt a meteor that killed off the dinosaurs after all??), that isnt FUCKING PLANTS, and that doesnt do cheesy shit like make ur eyes turn grey and bloodshot and like whisper to u telling u to take ur blindfold off (i swear that happens multiple times it was pretty silly)
thats another thing, this movie’s tone is all over the place.  there are some moments where a more light-hearted tone is needed to break up the tension, for sure, but it almost as if the writing and dialogue werent really taking this serious of a story as seriously as they should have.  weirdly placed jokes are all over the place, there were some moments where the dialogue made me cringe cause it was so awkward.  bullock’s character gets to have some good breakdown moments which help bring the tone to the level of somberness and despair it should be at, but all the other supporting characters dont really get the same space to process whats happening to them, so it kinda comes off like they arent really affected by, say, their wife throwing herself into a burning car right in front of their very eyes. 
overall i’d still say this is a worthwhile watch, especially considering its a netflix movie.  if you’ve ever wanted to see a not-as-horrible version of The Happening that has some deeper metaphorical stuff going on about motherhood and family and shit than this is for you.  the production value is overall pretty solid (though when it comes to cinematography i actually prefer The Happening from an artistic standpoint) and sandra bullock knocks it out of the park.  go check it out if this seems like something thats up ur alley!!
ok bye for now hopefully it doesnt take me six months to write another review but we’ll see!!  my brain is a mystery and time is an illusion HAPPY 20-BI-TEEN Y’ALL
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patriotsnet · 3 years ago
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Who Lies More Democrats Or Republicans
New Post has been published on https://www.patriotsnet.com/who-lies-more-democrats-or-republicans/
Who Lies More Democrats Or Republicans
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But When You Watch The Republican In The Media Being Attacked The Majority Tend To Handle It With More Grace Then The Majority Of The Democrats
I dont think its because the Republicans have more money because the Democrats tend to be the wealthier group.  The majority of the richest people in the world are Democrats or Liberals.  Yet, they sure dont look like a happy group of folks .  I think a lot of people who are rich were their happiest when they were working hard coming up through the ranks and earning their money.  I also think sometimes the social issues they get caught up in when they become wealthy can be frustrating causing many people to lose their tolerance over time.
The Lies The Gop Told Me About Democrats
I have been a Democrat for nearly one year. A GOP friend of mine asked me about the differences between the parties. He is thinking of leaving the GOP as well. Many have followed me out and read my column loyally knowing I will let them know if the Democrats are as bad as the Republicans have told us.
A political party should attract and maintain members based on the inherent good of the partys ideals. The Republican Party has derailed regarding goodness these days. I am ashamed to say it, but I had a hand in the derailing of the party in the late 1970s through the 2012 Presidential Election. I helped perpetuate the myths, a polite way of saying spread the lies, the GOP had to tell to keep the rank-and-file in line.
I spent forty-two years as a member of the Grand Old Party, and thirty-eight years in that period as a propagandist and party sycophant. I made a good living serving my Washington, DC, masters. When one pretends they are working for the greater good, it makes serving ones self at the expense of society as a whole easier to swallow, if one has even a sliver of a conscience.
I witnessed men and women who had sworn to protect and defend The Consitution of the United States sit and hatch plans to strip Muslims of their rights under the law, and call it patriotic.
What are the stories the Republicans tell that are not true about the Democrats?
Of course, if two sides will not compromise, then we get the mess we have today.
The Flawed Statistically Silly New Study That Calls The Republican Party More Dishonest
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A new study out today proclaims that the Republican Party is much more dishonest than the Democratic Party. To which I say, meh.
The report, from George Mason Universitys Center for Media and Public Affairs, captured lots of headlines, and the group did a lot to make the conclusions sizzle, by using phrases like Republicans lie more and Republicans are less trustworthy than Democrats in the press statement announcing the study.
Beneath all the hype, though, this report struck me as one of the silliest statistical analyses Ive seen in a long time. While I do think that the truthfulness of the G.O.P. has sunk terribly in the era of Tea Party delusions, studies like this one detract from the real job of trying to keep politicians honest.
Heres whats wrong with the study. Well, almost everything is wrong with the study.
To make its assessment, C.M.P.A. relied on a fact-checking group known as PolitiFact, which examines political statements for their accuracy. The center then selected a periodJanuary 20 through May 22 of this yearand reviewed 100 political claims examined by Politifact during that time. That included 46 statements by Democrats and 54 by Republicans. Then it toted up the number of statements deemed by PolitiFact to be false.
In other words, meh.
Wow: Radical Leftists Are Mainly Supported Bywhite Radical Leftists
Michael Barone of The New York Post writes,
The split among Democrats is clear. Left-wing policies may be supported by hipster whites with adolescent enthusiasm, but gentry liberals increasingly have abstract questions about them, and they are rejected roundly by people of color blacks, Latinos, Chinese out of concrete concerns.
Barone continues, There the cry to defund the police is not an abstract matter, as it is still to affluent Manhattanites, or an adolescent rallying cry, as it is to the cash-strapped hipsters in gentrifying Queens and Brooklyn neighborhoods just across the East River from Manhattan.
Black and Latino homeowners with families and jobs know their neighborhoods can be destroyed and their lives ended by violent criminals. They want more, rather than less, policing in their neighborhoods.
Instead, the hardcore leftists threw in heavily behind Maya Wiley the former DiBlasio staffer, Civil Rights Activist, and MSNBC Analyst turned Mayoral Candidate. Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez called Wiley, a candidate who can center people, racial justice, and economic justice.
Adams seizing on the opportunity lit her up in a scathing statement saying that leftists like Wiley and AOC want to slash the police budgets at a time when Black and brown babies are being shot in our streets, hate crimes are terrorizing Asian and Jewish communities, and innocent New Yorkers are being stabbed and shot.
Modeling The Universe’s Biggest Monsters
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A video clip showing the model in action at different scales allowing the viewer to see how gas makes its way towards the accretion disk surrounding the black hole.
Older models that tried to show how supermassive black holes interacted with their galaxies ran into a couple of problems.
Large-scale simulations are very good at handling what is going on across an entire galaxy, but they become problematic at smaller scales. When one tries to look too closely at a black hole using such models, uncertainty abounds. On the other hand, “zoom-in” simulation models can provide a great idea of what is going on next to a black hole, but they fail to describe what is going on in the rest of the galaxy.
Combining the benefits of the two into a single model is vital, as the interplay between the processes at the larger and smaller scales is key to understanding the co-evolution of supermassive black holes at the center of galaxies and that of the galaxies themselves. The new model aims to bridge the gap between these older models by starting from the Feedback in Realistic Environments project and adding in details from the large-scale simulations to produce a model that can zoom in as far as a tenth of a parsec as well as model other occurrences at a galactic scale.
Study: Politifact Says Republicans Lie More
05/29/2013 08:01 AM EDT
The fact-checking organization PolitiFact has found Republicans to be less trustworthy than Democrats, according to a new study.
Fifty-two percent of Republican claims reviewed by  the Tampa Bay Times fact-checking operation were rated “mostly false,” false or pants on fire, versus just 24 percent of Democratic statements, according to George Mason University’s Center for Media and Public Affairs. By the same token, 54 percent of Democratic statements were rated as “mostly true” or “true,” compared to just 18 percent of Republican statements.
The CMPA looked at 100 statements — 46 by Democrats, 54 by Republicans — that were fact-checked by PolitiFact between January 20 and May 22. The study’s findings are similar to a previous CMPA study, which found that PolitiFact gave more negative ratings to the Romney campaign than the Obama campaign in 2012.
See their complete findings here.
PolitiFact rates the factual accuracy of specific claims; we do not seek to measure which party tells more falsehoods.
The authors of this press release seem to have counted up a small number of our Truth-O-Meter ratings over a few months, and then drew their own conclusions.
We’ve rated more than 7,000 statements since we started in 2007. We are journalists, not social scientists. We select statements to fact-check based on our news judgment — whether a statement is timely, provocative, whether it’s been repeated and whether readers would wonder if it is true.
Democrats Or Republicans: Who Has The Higher Income
In the end, many people assume Republicans are richer based on these figures. Although, this is only a look at the richest families and politicians in America though. In everyday American households, it seems that Democrats have a higher mean salary. Its true that many of the wealthiest families in the country are contributing to Republican campaigns. On the contrary, families registered as , statistically speaking.
These findings still have some loopholes in them, of course. For instance, the data was collected over the last 40 years or so. Moreover, it is only based on the most recently collected information. As you know, demographics are constantly changing. These figures may have been affected as well. There is also a margin of error with every type of data collection like this. So, what do you think? Who is richer? Democrats or Republicans?
Why Democrats Lose On Social Media While Republicans Lie And Win Big
If youre baffled that nearly half of the United States could look at the past four years and say, I want more of that, you arent alone. But thats also not quite what happened.
What did happen is that much of the US electorate lives in a social media echo chamber saturated by disinformation, with climate change and the Green New Deal prime examples. Conservatives have turned the term Green New Deal into an emotional weaponpart of their overall narrative of Democrats as extremist, elitist socialists. It isnt fact-based, but as Daniel Kahneman, who won the Nobel Prize for his work in behavioral economics, explained, No one ever made a decision because of a number. They need a story.
The irony is that there is a compelling, positive story to tell about the Green New Deal that should appeal to a broad base of voters. At a time when the pandemic has thrown millions of people out of work and spawned miles-long food lines, a Green New Deal would create millions of jobs that cant be outsourced overseas. Americans would be put to work installing solar panels, building wind turbines, replacing leaky windows and outmoded appliances with energy-efficient alternatives, restoring farms and forests to store carbon, and undertaking a thousand other climate-friendly activities. With government investment priming the pump, a Green New Deal would boost revenues for business as well, paying for itself through the resulting increased tax revenues.
Why is that? 
The Gops New Orthodoxy: Big Lie Or Bust
Rep. Liz Cheney is no closet Democrat or even a political moderate. The 54-year-old Wyoming Republican, the elder daughter of former Vice President Dick Cheney, is an arch conservative who has in the past accused environmental groups like the Sierra Club of supporting U.S. adversaries and defended the birther movement that wrongly insisted Barack Obama was born in Kenya. Her views would seem well suited for the 21st century GOP except for one thing: She could not stomach Donald Trumps claim that the 2020 election was rigged and that he was the rightful winner or, as its is commonly known, the Big Lie. And for this unforgivable sin, the congresswoman is poised to lose her place in party leadership Wednesday as House Republican Conference chair, the third highest position in the caucus.
Its telling that Ms. Cheneys replacement is likely to be Rep. Elise Stefanik, an ideologically flexible New Yorker formerly associated with the partys centrists who has recast herself as a Trump loyalist. And in recent interviews, she has signaled that whatever the message of Republicans in the House, that will be her message, too. That may be how one gets ahead in that increasingly dysfunctional political party but its not in the interests of a nation in desperate need of integrity and reason from that side of the aisle.
The Party Thats Actually Best For The Economy
Many analyses look at which party is best for the economy. A study from the National Bureau of Economic Research found that Democratic presidents since World War II have performed much better than Republicans. On average, Democratic presidents grew the economy 4.4% each year versus 2.5% for Republicans.
A study by Princeton University economists Alan Blinder and Mark Watson found that the economy performs better when the president is a Democrat. They report that by many measures, the performance gap is startlingly large. Between Truman and Obama, growth was 1.8% higher under Democrats than Republicans.
A Hudson Institute study found that the six years with the best growth were evenly split between Republican and Democrat presidents.
Most of these evaluations measure growth during the presidents term in office. But no president has control over the growth added during his first year. The budget for that fiscal year was already set by the previous president, so you should compare the gross domestic product at the end of the presidents last budget to the end of his predecessors last budget.
For Obama, that would be the fiscal year from October 1, 2009, to September 30, 2018. Thats FY 2010 through FY 2017. During that time, GDP increased from $15.6 trillion to $17.7 trillion, or by 14%. Thats 1.7% a year.
The chart below ranks the presidents since 1929 on the average annual increase in GDP.
President
1.4%
A president would have better growth if he had no recession.
The Big List Of Alleged Malefactors
Each person identified as indicted, from 56 years of Executive branch investigations, is listed in Figure 4. Figure 5 provides the numbers, thus far, for the Trump administration. Two years into his term, President Trump has already proved greater than all but one of the previous 10 Presidents in number of indictments the Administration has scored. Congratulations Mr. Trump, you are the Greatest! Of course, the information in Figure 5 that is accurate in the morning may be out of date by the afternoon.
The Final Reports of the 28 Special Prosecution, Special Prosecutor, and Independent Counsel investigations between 1973 and 1999 are the go-to source for who was indicted for what. Before an investigation closes down it will be clear if the indictment itself survives legal challenge; cases will go to trial; there will be decisions. But the independent investigation may well close down before appeals are heard and decided. Therefore, the final reports are not, in some cases, the last word on total convictions and jail time. That still required further research of court records, news stories, and obituaries.
It is not necessary to read the many hundreds of pages of most of these documents for the raw numbers. There are, though, many engrossing distractions in the tales of greed for power or money, ambition, obstruction, arrogance, loyalty, ideological zealotry, duplicity, error and incompetence the reports lay out in generally careful legal language.
Lies And The Lying Liars Who Get Away
More recently, and more pertinent to this election: Hillary Clinton has lied about her e-mail scandal on a breadth unprecedented even within the Democratic Party. In many ways her lies about her e-mail server are more troubling and more consequential than Trumps scattershot dishonesty. You get the sense that Trump lies about things because hes not too bright and cant think very quickly. Clinton, on the other hand, lies about her e-mail server because she has most likely compromised American national security, endangered American lives, and wants to avoid going to jail.
She claimed to have turned over all of her work-related e-mails. That was a lie. She claimed she hadnt transmitted any classified information. That was a lie. She claimed she hadnt transmitted any information marked classified. That was a lie.  She claimed that she had never been subpoenaed in regards to her e-mail. That, too, was a lie. She claimed the FBI had considered her account truthful. Another lie.
Oh, also: President Obama originally denied having any knowledge about Clintons private e-mail server. That was a big-time lie. Clintons e-mail scandal has been one gigantic lie from start to finish.
These are just a few examples of liberal dishonesty; plenty more could easily be produced. While it is true that newspapers and other media outlets have fact-checked many of these lies, it is impossible to argue that the responses from the media have been the same.
Yes Dictators Sometimes Cloak Themselves In Socialism But Tyranny Here And Elsewhere Is Always Right
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Joseph Stalin, Adolf Hitler, Kim Jong-Un and Donald Trump
The meaning today of the Big Lie almost always refers to the false claim by Donald Trump and his right-wing cronies that the 2020 presidential election was somehow stolen by the left and Joe Biden, with the help of foreign agents.
Not only is this claim false, it is absurdly false.
This is hardly the first Big Lie from the right. Not even close. The right has been promulgating Big Lies for decades.
In fact, lying is the only way the right wing can win elections. After all, its policies are profoundly unpopular with ordinary people because the right-wing favors the 1% rich over the 99% working and middle classes.
How in the world could 1% of the population ever win elections over the 99%? Simple. The 1% bamboozles the 99%. To win elections, the right must conceal its true intentions from the voters and instead engage in manipulative tactics, like lying and fearmongering.
The lies are not just little lies.They are whoppers. They are the complete opposite of the truth. They are 180 degrees from the truth. They are the polar opposite of the truth, like from the North Pole all the way to the South Pole. Hence the term Big Lie.
Yet, shockingly, many of these egregious lies actually work. They take hold. They create a false impression in the mind of the public.
Once again, this is the exact opposite of the truth. Dictatorships and fascism are right-wing, not left-wing.
Shockingly, this nonsense actually works.
How Increasing Ideological Uniformity And Partisan Antipathy Affect Politics Compromise And Everyday Life
Republicans and Democrats are more divided along ideological lines and partisan antipathy is deeper and more extensive than at any point in the last two decades. These trends manifest themselves in myriad ways, both in politics and in everyday life. And a new survey of 10,000 adults nationwide finds that these divisions are greatest among those who are the most engaged and active in the political process.
The overall share of Americans who express consistently conservative or consistently liberal opinions has doubled over the past two decades from 10% to 21%. And ideological thinking is now much more closely aligned with partisanship than in the past. As a result, ideological overlap between the two parties has diminished: Today, 92% of Republicans are to the right of the median Democrat, and 94% of Democrats are to the left of the median Republican.
Today 92% of Republicans are to the right of the median Democrat, and 94% of Democrats are to the left of the median Republican
Partisan animosity has increased substantially over the same period. In each party, the share with a highly negative view of the opposing party has more than doubled since 1994. Most of these intense partisans believe the opposing partys policies are so misguided that they threaten the nations well-being.
Many of those in the center remain on the edges of the political playing field while the most ideologically oriented and politically rancorous Americans make their voices heard
Republicans Lie More Than Democrats
In the current post-fact, hyper-partisan era of politics, its hard to separate accusations of dishonesty from political sparring. If the liberal mainstream media accuses a conservative politician of lying, the conservatives fight back by alleging that theres a bias, and vice versa.
Luckily, several fact-checking sites have attempted to rise above the fray, including PolitiFact.com and the Washington Posts Fact Checker. And while theyre nonpartisan in approach, a recent study of PolitiFact.coms results by the Center for Media and Public Affairs at George Mason University reveals something that will please one party more than another: Republicans lie more than Democrats, as much as three times as often during Obamas second term. While this may not come as a surprise from a party that denies certain scientific basics , the study puts the two parties relationships with honesty into distinct relief:
While these stats are pretty damning, in the multi-channel era of media consumption, it may be harder than it should to get this information to the people who need to hear it: conservative or conservative-leaning voters.
About the author
Zak Stone is a Los Angeles-based writer and a contributing editor of Playboy Digital.His writing has appeared in TheAtlantic.com, NYMag.com, Los Angeles, The Utne Reader, GOOD, and elsewhere. Visit his personal website here.
Quiz: Let Us Predict Whether Youre A Democrat Or A Republican
Tell us a few details about you and well guess which political party you belong to. It shouldnt be that simple, right? Were all complex people with a multiplicity of identities and values. But the reality is that in America today, how you answer a handful of questions is very likely to determine how you vote.
This quiz, based on recent surveys with more than 140,000 responses, presents a series of yes-or-no questions to predict whether someone is more likely to identify as a Democrat or a Republican. It captures divisions that should make you worried about the future of American democracy.
We wont collect your answers.
The first question is the most important: Its about race. Asking whether someone is black, Hispanic or Asian cleaves the electorate into two groups. Those who answer yes lean Democratic; the others are split roughly evenly between the parties. Among those who are not black, Hispanic or Asian , the second most important question is whether the person considers religion important. If they answer yes, they are probably Republican.
Its not just race and religion, though. Party allegiances are now also tied to education, gender and age. Americans have sorted themselves more completely and rigidly than any time in recent history.
How demographics predict party affiliation
The group most likely to be Democrats are black women older than about 30.
Meeting in the Middle
Reliable Republicans
It Is Astonishing That Blacks Vote For Democrats At All
For the 100 years prior to Lincoln the democrats were historically the party that supported slavery in the south. In 1860 when Lincoln was elected the democrats elected a person who debated Lincoln and argued why the idea of freeing the slaves was stupid.
Lincoln won even though most of the nation knew that we were on the verge of the most horrible conflict in history. Lincoln wanted to avoid this war but the democrats wouldnt concede even the smallest point.
Lincoln drew a line in the sand. He wouldnt go to war and kill 6 million Americans to free the slaves as long as the democrat states would agree to not let slavery spread to any new states.
The democrats wouldnt accept that. Like todays democrats they were absolutely convinced and not very negotiating. They wanted their slavery and they believed in it.
They felt slavery would be imperiled if it wasnt allowed to grow. They wanted more slave owners to get more slave promoting voters like illegal immigrants today.
Lincoln went to war and adjusted for population 6 million Americans died. Even if you dont adjust for population the number who died in the war is more than the sum of all American deaths in all wars since.
The devastation was horrendous. One of the generals in the north practiced a burn it to the ground policy that denuded whole cities. The south was crushed.
To Get To The Truth About Jan 6 Democrats Need To Ignore Most Of The Republicans
Sometimes seeing is not believing. Or, so it seems as Republicans in Congress go about rewriting history by claiming that the Jan. 6 attack on the Capitol was really a normal tourist visit by peaceful patriots. Millions of Americans saw the live broadcast, as insurrectionists stormed the Capitol, marauded through the House and Senate chambers, and chanted Hang Mike PenceMichael Richard PenceThe Memo: Will DeSantis’s star fall as Florida COVID numbers rise?Man charged in Jan. 6 assault of news photographerCan SpaceX’s Elon Musk help NASA get back to the moon by 2024 after all?MORE.
Yet now the Republican party leadership says that none of that really happened and theyre asking people to believe a series of lies about that days events.
This week, as the U.S. House Select Committee to Investigate the January 6th Attack on the United States Capitol holds its first hearings, it is time for Democrats in Congress to say good riddance to Republican colleagues who engage in such denialism.
Over the course of the last several months, Republicans have attacked anyone in their party for example, Liz Cheney
First, Senate Republicans defeated efforts to create a bipartisan commission modeled after the one that investigated the 9/11 terror attacks. They did so despite the fact that Democratic leaders in Congress acceded to Republican demands about the commissions composition, powers, and the deadline for its work.
That is exactly the Republican goal.
0 notes
survivorkalokairi · 6 years ago
Text
Episode 1: “How do I bond with people” - Mitch
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Dylan C
https://youtu.be/MiBLiRlSzFc
Stephen
It’s round one and I’ve already learnt a foreign word for pee, this seasons gonna be great
Cam
hello everyone and welcome to HOLY FUCK by cameron, your local certified sick kid
so first of all
I HAVE DYLAN AND MATT SUMMERS AND MITCH ON MY TRIBE
which is all fine and dandy
ABBEY IS ON? THE OTHER TRIBE?
which is also fine and dandy
blake is super sweet and i adore this newbie already!! he's like "im so overwhelmed im in two games"....... sweetie
BUT ALSO
so i message jay to idol hunt
"first in line"
i say "this is door 9 all over again!"
i wait about 15 minutes
go through the path, dee dee dee dee dee
"fountain or pay an offering to the statue" 
me, in my hellenic witchcraft practices, knowing the goddesses really like offerings, gonna offer aphrodite some food (sorry hera)
guess what aphrodite gives me?
an idol. she gives me an idol. i'm truly blessed. this is ridiculous. i got the idol the very first idol hunt of the season.
i'm shaking.
Dylan C
oh my god how to I play a game with my close friends sksjsh (i’ll make a Proper confessional later)
Brittany
i've been doing duolingo for, like, an hour now and there are so many ways to say the. i've counted around 4. it's pretty fun though, and everyone on my tribe seems really cool and nice cx
Zabbey
Wow ok so my tribe is really cute and wholesome so far. I'm playing with JG, Timmy and Stephen which is cool bc i lowkey know them all but I've never played with them so thats fun! I cant really speak on the newbies since I havent really talked to any of them yet but I'm excited to get to know them! It's wild knowing cam and dylan are on the other tribe, I hope i get to play with them too! 
Stephen
Cal is the best, i would love to work with Cal, JG, Timmy, and Zabbey. But i’m still gonna gove the other new guys a chance, still very early days to start making alliances. That being said I’m still very happy we have had a majority on a call, make some ties. *glares at atomic “all-stars”*
Zach
So uh...so far nothing. Unless I’m completely out of the loop. I really like my tribe mate Zabbey. She seems cool and we have the same sense of humor. I really hope to align with her, but we’ll see how it goes. I also really admire Maynor for volunteering to sit since he has to work today. So far I think our tribe vines well. No tea to spill yet, but I’m sure there’s more to come.
Alex
Many people werre talking about drag race and I've never seen it and I kinda knew this would happen to me at some point in mylife when I end up being the bad gay who hates Lady Gaga and hasn't seen drag race and we're here folks.  lol I guess I'll stay quiet and hopefully noone will find out 
J.G.
Night one was, interesting to say the least. I was a little worried because I knew that I had to work during the first hour of the game and with new people I did not want to miss out on the bonding opportunities. Shockingly few were active among the noobies mostly Zach and Cal. The vets on my tribe, I actually know which is wild. Stephen and I have played together in the past, not together but there is for sure no bad feelings, that I know of. Abbey and Timmy I have never played with them but I know of them from the community. I have always wanted to play with them and excited for this opportunity. I know from a viewer this will come off as boring but I do feel that sticking with the vets is going to be smart at least in the early stages but mark my words, if I have any say, Abbey will be the last boot before merge. There is no way hell, I am letting her get any where near merge, I am not dumb no what she can do. Sorry Abbey, you're queen but the queen is not gonna stay queen. I really want to make a three tight alliance with Stephen and Timmy and ride with them but they could always tip off Abbey and use it to their advantage so I need to just chill and let things play out. I feel that if we are to go to tribal in the early stages, I can picture two noobs being easily targeted for inactivity. Oh, let's also talk about how I got freaking 20% disadvantage night one like I always do, and then turn around to get a 10% advantage the next day. I'm mess but I'm gonna keep eating these grapes because they're pretty good.
JG
So I was really sure I was going to be in the first alliance of the season amongst the vets but nope that didn't happen. I am in a unprecedented alliance with Abbey, yeah the person I said I want to make sure gets out before merge and Zach. Our alliance is called Two Gays and a Bi-by ... iconic as fuck. With a smaller tribe starting size with 8, smaller alliances are key plus I feel that we can easily pull some side votes for numbers to honestly keep our alliance alive and active. This makes targeting Abbey really hard cause it could turn Zach against me. I will have to be very cautious, how I go about this. I also talked to Cal and was making sure I connected with him cause I know he was putting work in on Timmy and Stephen last night. That is something I will have to monitor. That can not be allowed to happen. I think working with Timmy would be fun and cool but it's looking like that if after a early not so active noob goes and we need to find another target, I think Timmy would be a fine first threat to knock out leaving Stephen and Cal up in the air.
Cal
Lots of stuff! I was late to the party at the intro but got to chat with Timmy, JG, and Stephen. I learned about their past in the community as well as talked about the many moods of trying to learn greek. One such mood is probably me always confusing the "pi" sign and the one shaped like the letter "p" leading to accidentally translating baby as fool. Ironically I really don't want to be seen as either while a baby or fool especially since I'm new. I've really enjoyed meeting my tribe mates but I'm afraid to see where the pleasant meet and greet ends and the game begins.
Maynor
My thoughts on this tribe is that i like everyone and i dont want any of them to leave. Ive been trying to talk to everyone n try to be social player since im sitting out the first challenge.
Blake
welp. i still dont really know whats going on but... IM HAVING FUN. Ive talked with Dylan C a bunch and we have gotten to know each other pretty well. The greek challenge? a MESS. I havent been able to do a lot and the little i have done is not even worth mentioning. I hope the next challenge is a little easier for me but until then... YAY! 
Maynor
Last night Brittany and I started talking and decides since we are newbies that we will work as a duo to keep each other safe since the game has newbies & returning players. As of right now she is my #1 but i am talking to others.
Maynor
Second day has been very interesting. Ive been talking to Cal and J.G. pretty much all day seperately. And both want to align and J.G brought up maybe doing three person alliance and he said we should try n bring in Cal. In my head i was like yes. So now its an allince of me, Cal, and J.G. which is great. If its all 100% (my end it is) then this is going to be great.
Timmy
Wow, I haven't made a confessional yet. WE WON IMMUNITY!!! I'm very relaxed now, but also I don't think I would have gone anyways so woot woot. I did the worst on my tribe so that's not too great (pretty sure the 810 from the post was my score), but I still did better than the entire other tribe so wooo. I'm so happy to finally be in a game with Abbey and I really want to work with her and we have been talking already about the nothingness that has come from our idol hunts so that's good. I still haven't talked to Zach or Brittany so I need to do that soon, Zach seems nice in the tribe chat but Brittany seems nonexistent at the moment even though she did well in the challenge. 
Cam
well i may have won a main season last night
but let me tell you
WE DID NOT WIN THAT MY DUDES LMAO. we were literally beat ten times over. i hope the f tribe feels good about how much they squished us. they... earned that. truly. 
but now jay says... there's an announcement? and this is what immediately ensues
On 7/21/18, at 9:29 PM, Jay 🐠 (Kalokairi Host) wrote:
> but first there will be an announcement
On 7/21/18, at 9:29 PM, Cameron Culpepper (Atomic Admin) wrote:
> oh no
On 7/21/18, at 9:31 PM, Dylan R. wrote:
> oh cool
and it was just announced! so there is redemption. this is nice! i'm less worried about work now. like obviously i'm gonna do my best? but... if i fuck up at least there's a CHANCE.
oh yeah and the idol. day 2 in the game, still haven't told anyone, so that's pretty cool! we'll see how long that lasts.
dylan c and i had a conversation about how if we don't work together neither of us will hold it against the other but like... im pretty sure we're gonna work together anyway. 
wouldn't it be cute to make f3 with dylan c and abbey? god that's the dream. but it won't happen.
Maynor
The alliance is official between me, JG, and Cal. Are alliance name is MEW but greek that looks like mew. I like both and i hope they are ride or die as i am with this alliance. But just so we could have one more vote, im keeping my ally, Brittany, secret for now. 
Mitch
Welcome to Greece! I consume goat cheese, so I'm something of a Greek expert myself you know. I'm very excited to meet all of my tribemates but now I'm probably going to talk about them individually since Idk what else to do
I haven't played a game in so long I have no fucking idea how to socialize oh my god. I feel like everything I type is awkward and sad. At least the first challenge was relatively easy since I never had to type anything and have free time up the wazoo . But fuck we got crushed lmao. I dunno what secret they used but I take comfort in knowing that they were probably worried about us doing the same thing. Maybe I probably won't get voted out for having a score of 600 but WE SHALL SEE
Alex - Where is he? He did the challenge but he hasn't said a word ever. I want to keep him but uh Blake - 15 exp huh. 15? :| I only got increments of 10 where did the 5 come from Cameron - Aaaa. I enjoy Cameron and hopefully he enjoys me Dylan C - Oh this distinguishing between Dylans will be fun. But hopefully this Dylan and I can... meet in the middle somewhere yes Dylan R - One of the 4 people who have spoken to me! This kid is GOING PLACES and I'm glad to help him along for the ride Maddie - She is camping and I completely understand. Matt - I mean sure Matt and I KNOW each other but do we really? It's not like we were buddy buddy in Navarino. Unless he thinks we were? If he does... uh oh
How do I bond with people
Cal
Maynard just brought together me and JG together to start an alliance all while the results of the immunity challenge was finished. I was nervous but not only did we win but we have an amazing three that is called ΜΞΨ(after the first letters of our names), which is called that thanks to me! I just thought it'd be fun to name it like a frat since we've been learning greek and also hopefully dominate! JG and Maynard are great guys and I'm excited to work with them as ΜΞΨ but I also am keeping in mind ΜΞ(me lol) in the game for when we do have to go to tribal! Mu Xi Psi out!
Dylan R
For the first tribal, I'm obviously worried. As for targets, I'm not sure there are any at this moment. I guess I'm voting based on tribal performances, but I would be open to other people's suggestions. I would consider myself closest to Matt, Dylan C and Mitch so those three are who I would want to vote with. 
Stephen
I found half a “special idol” in the mangroves! While I am happy and I will still search for the other half I do have to decide if I want to tell anyone. In a previous season I told one person and they betrayed me (thanks tim) but in the end that led the person who had other half to reach out to me. However I can’t expect the same thing to happen this game, every games a new game. So I think I’m gonna keep it to myself, if somebody else tells me or is revealed to have the other half I might tell them, but for now I’m just gonna search for the other half and be content that no one can use the whole thing against me.
Zach
We won the first challenge!!!! I was expecting it to be a lot closer tbh. But I have an alliance of 3 that I’m fairly confident in! I wouldn’t say I completely trust them yet though. Both of them have played before and so it’s scary to think that they might just be playing me. I guess time will tell. I’m also curious to see what other alliances will show themselves when we finally start talking and going to trial. Also a little worried that I might be playing to hard out of the gate. We’ll see and I’ll probably get used to playing as time goes on.
JG
My mom (Jay) has officially cancelled me y'all. My tribe freaking won by over 13 to almost 2k. Holy crap. Like did the vets on the other side never play this comp before? Like with maybe a little work and patience, you could get easily 1500XP without really grinding maybe more. I am honestly perfectly o.k. with these results I wanted us to win badly because of having to go to work tonight, I did not want to bother with the stress of that. Plus, the night before my work had an emergency so I am definitely not in a place ready to emotionally invest and make a move in the game. ΜΞΨ is an alliance that formed between Maynor, Cal, and myself. The alliance names from the first letter of our names in Greek to kinda make a frat/sor name. Maynor approached me wanting to make  a final 2 and go really far. I am down with this for now of course, this game is constantly changing and moving. He asked me if we wanted to make a threesome to help our odds and asked me for suggestions. I suggested Cal because I knew I wasn't in any other alliances with him yet and this will allow me to keep an eye on him making sure he doesn't get close to Timmy or Stephen. Before I went off for the night Stephen and I officially talked about how the vets probably should create an official thing because it wouldn't hurt for us to work at least together in the early stages of the game. We decided that it should be discussed and formed today. Once that happens your boy is literally in an alliance with everyone besides Brittany and she actually did really well in the challenge. This scares me that she is either close to others or just someone I am not gonna be able to connect with. I heard from others that people are forgetting she's here, at the least she is a competitor. Either this is gonna blow up in my face or gonna allow me to position myself really well going into merge. Mama mia, my tribe isn't going tribal but I feel I made some of the biggest moves. Time will tell, I guess 
Zabbey
SO A lot has happened since I last confessed!!!! I am now in a baby alliance with JG and Zach which is wholesome. Zach is super hype and its v endearing and im a stan. JG also said him and Stephen have talked about a vet alliance which would be the easier way to go but I don't really want to. I don't want to play this game based off of outside relationships, I'm not necessarily going to align with Cam and Dylan is we make it onto the same tribe. In more impotant news ya bITCH FOUND THE IDOL! My literal third search! Timmy told me that he was looking in the hotel rooms so I was gonna do that but then Jay said roof and I was like why not and my witch ass gave that offering and got me a sexy idol! I don't plan on telling anyone about it unless I absolutely have to! 
Blake
I'm realizing now that im probably going to be seen as invisible the whole time bthrfnm dont know if thats good or bad LOL. But I finally have an alliance and its with people that I actually enjoy talking too :) Me, Cameron and Dylan C formed a group called Bicons (Bi Icons LMAO) and they seem to be really loyal. I have no idea what im doing but i hope people find me funny and want to keep me hfuiejf. (I HAVE NO IDEA WHO IM GONNA VOTE OFF)
Maddie
I came into this game after 2 nights had already gone by. I am really scared that I will be voted out tonight because I would be the easy since not very many people know me.  
Dylan R
The first tribal is the most important tribal, at least from a game perspective. That’s why I’m taking a gamble and trying to target after Blake. We need people who will win challenges, and after his score of 15 I’m not sure if he’s best suited. I need 4 votes to tie. I believe I’ll have Alex & Maddie, so right now I’m focusing on the fourth vote. Dylan C seems wary about this vote, so I’m trying to convince her now. I told her that “other people have mentioned Blake” when really it’s just me lol. I don’t wanna tell anyone else, simply because I don’t want people thinking I’m playing too hard, so I’m hoping the votes will tie or the votes will be spread. I’m taking a bit of a gamble because this could put a target on my back, but I do love gambles so I can’t resist. This will probably come back to bite me, but it is redemption island so I guess that’s always a fallback.
Cal
Missed a lot of discussion about past games because I was meeting up with someone impromptu. It's daunting but also exciting to face the experience of some of my tribe mates. It's the feeling of a glorious revolution of the new players against the old! I aim to learn as well, but also have really enjoyed speaking with my tribe but fear people are getting wind of the ΜΞΨ alliance since me, JG, and Maynor are speaking a lot. I gotta figure out my mist! Mu Xi Psi out!
Stephen
The tribe chat: Jay is about to get represented by an agent!!!!! ajdnfkksxjsnxxcz
Cal in my PMs: I just got laid
............okay cal. I guess he ws just being friendly? But things like that are sort of a hot topic for me, but I don’t think thats something he needs to know. And its probably not something to get into in confessionals. Maybe if we become besties we can have a dnm about it later.
Dylan C
https://youtu.be/8oaTFmpiv0I
Dylan R
The first tribal is the most important tribal, at least from a game perspective. That’s why I’m taking a gamble and trying to target after Blake. We need people who will win challenges, and after his score of 15 I’m not sure if he’s best suited. I need 4 votes to tie. I believe I’ll have Alex & Maddie, so right now I’m focusing on the fourth vote. Dylan C seems wary about this vote, so I’m trying to convince her now. I told her that “other people have mentioned Blake” when really it’s just me lol. I don’t wanna tell anyone else, simply because I don’t want people thinking I’m playing too hard, so I’m hoping the votes will tie or the votes will be spread. I’m taking a bit of a gamble because this could put a target on my back, but I do love gambles so I can’t resist. This will probably come back to bite me, but it is redemption island so I guess that’s always a fallback. 
Dylan R
Ok so like. Convincing people is hard lol. New tactic: I told Alex that people are targeting him in hopes that it’ll ignite him enough to save himself. I want Alex as an ally, but if he can’t save himself then I don’t want him as an ally
Brittany
so i'm late to making this confession but we won the first challenge and i'm still so?? happy about it?? and by a lot too, and there i was panicking and speeding through duolingo lmao. hopefully this is a sign and we stay doing this well lol
J.G.
Yeet,one last confessional before the round is over. I am honestly really anxious to see what happens at this tribal whether a vet or noob will go. While I do not think that this will be a prevalent theme in decision making, it something I am keeping in the back of my mind. I don't want people to be able use that against me to vote me out. That's why I will feel really inclined to stick with the vets if a vet is voted out tonight over a noob. Who knows what that tribe will do they have several options.
Finally, officially the vets (Abbey, Timmy, and Stephen as well as myself) finally came together to form an official alliance called The Nursing Home. I am really keeping an eye on Timmy and Stephen, they give me some minor sketch vibes but it could just be me over analyzing.
Well, 1 week down, several more to go. 
Dylan C
I’m getting a concerning amount of radio silence form some cast members. Is it because they’re inactive or ignoring me?? Lmao mattI'm so excited to be on Kalokairi! This has been a lifelong dream. Who wouldn't want to live on a gorgeous Greek island, where every piece of drama or sadness is resolved by breaking out into 70s Disco Pop and choreographing elaborate dance routines featuring wacky props like scuba fins? And to be able to play the game of Survivor while doing it? Wild!
My tribe is literally so wholesome. The other "veterans" are all so fantastic, and the newbies are so pure and fun and I love talking to them. The only person I haven't gotten to speak one on one to is Alex, and it seems like that's the case for the rest of the tribe. After getting THWUMPED in that immunity challenge, it's nice that we can all come together in a cohesive vote to hopefully power through in the future.
I found a leather necklace at the market, but it doesn't actually do anything until I combine it with another part. I'm not sure if my best strategy is to keep it hidden or let everyone know I have it in case they're also looking for it, but I think I'm going to keep it to myself while I search a bit more.
I'd really like to work with Cameron long term, and I have a crush on Dylan R okay that is all goodnight.
Cam
so i've been wrestling with the decision on whether or not to tell Dylan C about the idol. 
I still haven't told him. Day 3! Nobody knows but me. that's pretty cool. 
it's pretty quiet around the vote right now? everyone is still asleep i think, and morale is a little low following last night. 
-----
I didn't submit that before I left for work, rip
Cam, certified short term memory loss haver
Alex was unanimously eliminated.
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ishqbaaaaz · 7 years ago
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Ishqbaaaz - Oct 17/17 - Episode 391
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What are these qawali wale
Annika is enjoying the qawalis lmao
Shivaay is not having it
hayyee bas kar do bohot gaane ho gaye 
parda hai pardaaaaaaaaaa
LMAO THIS OTHER WOMAN TOUCHES SHIVAAY AND ANNIKA IS READY TO FIGHT HER
but then she remembers shes incognito 
Majnu Singh Oberoi
theyre like who’s love is sacha Laila or Majnu
hes like both people are important 
hes like LET ME SIT NOW
Annika is so proud of Shivaay
LOL MERA ASAR HAI MERE MAJNU HAI
Jennifer is getting TURNT
Shes like its my last day TURN UPPPPPPPPPPPP
Wow shes being so rude
Shivaay isnt cut out for this economy life lmao
Bua forwardd
Annika makes the person who’s sitting next to Shivaay move
LOL HE SAT DOWN AND HES LIKE ???
hes like why are you here ANISA BEGUM
shes like i changed it there was no hawa
hahah hes like did you fight with your wife?
Hes like Annika i know its you
LMAO if you wanted to change your name why would you pick a name close to yours 
her urdu is so awful omg
hes like why did you pick a language you cant even speak
Hes like im gonna get her to admit shes Annika
Shes like i know you know its me but im not gonna admit it
oh here we go
PLANE TOOK OFF AND SHES SCARED BBY
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hayee my nerds
Ompreet has brought the chunnis
hes like payment? and this man is like payment for what
hes like for the chunnis
wtf kind of backwards mess
this man is like she’ll be paid when they sell
wtf you still have to pay the manufacturer even if the distributer doesnt sell boy you good??
ha Om said the same thing
this guy is getting rude
hes like is she your girlfriend
OM IS MAD YAS
hes like pay up BITCH
this man is like you dont know who i am
OMKARA SINGH OBEROI!
“tussi bhi nahi jandeyo ke mein kaun hoon ji”
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the lady gave Shivaay food and Tabasco sauce
wow this is a really far back flashback 
LOL SHIVAAY HAS AN IDEA 
LOOK AT HIS FACE
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hes gonna eat it and try to get her to admit that shes Annika
THATS SO MUCH HOT SAUCE BABY YOU GONNA DIE
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Gauri and her mom waiting for Ompreet
HE DID ALL THE SHOPPING
shes like everything in such a small amount?
hes like i got all is discounts 
and money left overr
omg he totally paid for everything and just gave her the money from the chunnis
aww Omkara
Gauri is so happy awww
HE LOOKS AT HER WITH SO MUCH LOVE NOW IM SO HAPPY
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shes like im so used to doing everything alone so it feels weird to have help
she said thank you
dosti mein no sorry no thank youuuuuuuu
she did her salman khan move!
hes like of course you’ve seen it Salman Khan is your fav
shes like huh?
LMAO HE THINKS SHES GONNA PUT ON A RAKHI
Shes like no its a friendship band
shes like ive never met someone who i can give this to
what the fuck Gauri what about the best friend who is getting married?
OR ANNIKA? 
LOL Gauri pls
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Hes so happy she made him her friend
I love this version of saathiya ahhhh
shes gone to tell Richa everything is ready
hes like there was a time where i wouldnt accept you as my wife and now you’ve made me your friend 
i learned my lesson
I will be a good friend and hopefully soon a good husband
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Annika knocked the food out of his hand
Shivaay is like JUST ADMIT YOU’RE ANNIKA
this Pasha guy is like this is my Mona
Shivaay is like THIS IS MY WIFE ANNIKA BACK THE FUCK UP
The fake teeth fell out of Bua
Om is tareefing Gauri and shes so happy aw
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I love this so much
oh theres the dude from the car
Ouuuuuu Omkara is jealous
This guy is all up on Gauris business
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Omkara is NOT having it
hes telling this guy to chill
he keeps moving to block his view of Gauri
now Om is telling him to watch the fuck out
This is like im just looking
Om’s like bitch look at your brother
Lmao look at this hot ass mess
ok i dont care about Rudra
omg theyre really dancing to ooonchi hai building
i love this song though
i took a mini break to jam to this song LOL
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How the fuck did they get into the cockpit
SHE PUSHED SOME LEVER
they have to sit with their belts now
The ladkewale are happy
they fixed the shaadi tareek
the brother is like this shaadi cant happen
until Gauri feeds us sweets
what a nasty man
oh man this is gonna be an issue 
they dont make any decisions without Ajay’s consent
bitch are you the mother or is he?
shes like here take one
hes like nah feed me
ew
wow Om is pissed
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can Om kick is ass i really want this
Gauri did not appreciate that
Pasha is looking for the teeth and panicking
Annika holds onto Shivaay
Air marshal is telling him to chill
Pasha took his gun what the fuck is happening
Richa and the dude's Roka ceremony happened
now they all dancing
Ew this nasty man grabbed Gauri
hes so gross
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hes making her dance
hes creepily staring at her what a weirdo
OH her dori is open
IS OM GONNA TIE IT BECAUSE I LIVE FOR THIS SHIT
I need to parallel this for when he tied it last time
oh god but did that happen in dbo or ib? shiit i gotta look for it
also im pretty sure this is what she was wearing when they all got high LOL
YAH HE IS YES
I HAVE GOOSEBUMPS IM SUCH A SUCKER FOR SHIT LIKE THIS
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I also love that he let her go right away, he didnt hold onto her because he knows she wouldnt like it
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LOL OM AND AJAY DANCING TOGETHER
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LOOK AT THIS PISSING CONTEST LMFAO
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LOL OMKARA ALL “IM WATCHING YOU”
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Forwarding Trash Four you are all so irrelevant
Function is done
Ajay is talking to Gauri
HE WANTS TO MARRY GAURI? 
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HOLD THE FUCK UP
CAN YOU SEE HER MANGALSUTRA
SHE IS MARRIED YOU TRASH BUCKET
shes like what the fuck ??
what
he knows shes married?
he did his research??
“Aap ko kya laga? Bina kisi ko poori tarah jaane, mein usse se shaadi karne ke liye tayar ho jaoonga?”
You’re asking a married woman to marry you and im supposed to believe because you did your research you’re a good guy???
bitch what
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hes like think about your halath and your mother im ready to take on that responsibility LOL HOMEBOY WHO ARE YOU THOUGH
shes like what bakwas
THIS BITCHASS SAYS IF SHE DOESNT MARRY HIM HE WONT LET HIS BROTHER MARRY RICHA
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hes like i give you until tomorrow
Precap: i have nothing to think about, my answer is no
pyaar only happens once and ive done it
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poutypanic · 7 years ago
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Finding Purpose Chapter 9
Rated Mature. Fem!Reader. 
AO3: http://archiveofourown.org/works/10529928/chapters/24994224
Chapter Summary: Ana and a large group of others go away on a mission. Leaving you and Hanzo, with a small group of others behind. There are some shenanigans and then, some stuff and things happen. Here's a hug (⊃。•́‿•̀。)⊃.
Fic Summary: You've been living alone in Hanamura for the past five years, and are content to stay that way. You have a troubled past and have let it isolate you. One night a ruckus is coming from the Shimada Castle. Against your better judgment you check it out, eventually, you end up befriending an archer with a past as equally troubling as yours.This is a romance/fluff and slow burn, coupled with action and angst.
The halls of the Watchpoint have been eerily quiet as of late. Most agents, save for a small group, are gone. Ana had insisted that taking more agents than necessary on their current mission could prove to be more of a weakness than a strength. Torbjorn had been one of the agents benched, but he joyfully informed everyone he will be using the time to go and visit his family. Satya also was left behind but be seems to be a person who values her alone time. You understand, so you don't bother her. McCree is also in the facility somewhere. Though he might have dipped out, as it’s been a few days since you last saw him.
It is a lovely day out. It’s the middle of fall, but the temperature is in the low sixties. The clouds keep the sun from being too harsh, and the air smells especially fresh today. Not that either you or Hanzo are paying any attention to the weather, because he’s been trying to teach you how to properly climb. Unfortunately for him, you’re not an easy student. You’ve spent a good portion of your morning using the rock climbing wall in the facility getting in practice for the real thing. Hanzo had been patient with you up until this particular moment. And even now he’s still showing a lot of restraint.
Hanzo had found a section of the facility that’s made up of different materials than the other sides. It’s got plenty of places for grip and is similar to the rock climbing wall. Before Hanzo had climbed up onto the roof, he had laid out a path for you that in his opinion is “child's play.” Now he’s on the roof looking down at you refusing to follow him up there.
“Climbing is an essential skill!”
“You’re the archer here. You gain the advantage from being up high. What do I gain from being up that high? It’s not essential for me to learn to climb.”
Hanzo looks like he’s just heard the dumbest series of sentences. He takes caution before saying anything else at the risk of coming off arrogant, “You gain safety by being up high. From enemies, such as yourself, who would be able to kill you easily on the ground. That...is what you gain.”
“Hmm, you make a good argument!”
He points to the top of the roof, “Get. Up. Here!”
“But I don’t wanna; I’m just gonna fall.”
“You will not fall. If you do this…” He sighs, “I will reward you.”
You gasp and place a hand on your chest, “Really now?”
He nods and gives you a sly smile.
You shrug, “You’d let me have it either way.”
“Do not test me!”
There’s movement on the other side of the building that catches your eye. You instantly start to cackle when you see it’s McCree, leaning around the corner, a cigarillo in his mouth, and a silly grin on his face.
“Y’all have some real odd foreplay.” He steps out from behind the wall, looks up towards Hanzo, and then back to you, “Stop bein’ a chicken. If I were you, I’d already be up there.”
“Damn, you’re right,” you say loud enough that McCree can hear you, but low enough that Hanzo can’t.  
McCree chuckles at your friendly response. You shake out your nervousness, clap your hands together, and wink at Hanzo. Hanzo thinks that is the most ridiculous sight. He’s trying to be serious with you right now, but a deep belly laugh is threatening to make him break. So he says, “Do. Not. Wink at me!”
You nearly get yourself onto the wall but wuss out at the last second. You groan, “I’m sorry!”
“There are no prizes for holding back!”
McCree is having a delightful time and thinks this is the most entertaining thing he’s seen all week. He bends over placing his elbow on his knees, the cigarillo still dangling out of his mouth, and it doesn’t look like it’s lit anymore.
He slaps his knees once and says, “Get’cher ass up there!”
Once you finally get yourself going, it’s easy. You’re currently in the best physical condition you’ve ever been in your life, and Hanzo is an excellent trainer. You make it up and over with no slip ups. McCree hoots and claps for you, and Hanzo claps along with him. Hanzo’s got a big smile for you, and that alone is well worth the climb.
“Sublime!”
McCree calls up to you guys, “Y’all have fun now!”
You try to reach out to Hanzo. You had sweet intentions, and a simple hug would have sufficed. But apparently, he was being serious about your reward. He grabs a hold of your wrist and uses it to flip you around. Hanzo presses his whole body against yours. While he’s holding your arm against your stomach, his other hand glides down into your needy space. There he massages moans and whines from you.
He nuzzles his face into your neck as he whispers, “See? That wasn't so hard, was it?”
You grind your butt against his crotch and chuckle, “No. But something else is.”
~
You and Hanzo have been taking full advantage of having the Watchpoint nearly all to yourselves. While one of the implications of that is obvious, the other one includes getting drunk and hanging out in the mess hall. Sitting on top of the tables, eating stupid amounts of food, and playing a virtual game of chess. His tablet is sitting between the two of you, and a neat looking interactive hologram shines about a foot above it.
You’re heckling him, and you think you’re being real funny.
“Oh, no, thats’ a bad move! You shoud'n do that move, 'cause its’ a bad.”
Unlike the last time you were drunk, this time, Hanzo is on your level. He stops what he’s doing to laugh silently.
“Stop—“ When Hanzo is drunk he doesn't slur. What he does is pause and then restart again. The pausing happening more often than the restarting. “Stop— trying, to— you will not get in my head.”
“Baby, I already there. I’m jus’ doin’ you a favor. You’can mess it up if you wanna, go right ahead!”
He hangs his head in his hands, his shoulders shaking from laughter. “I—I, am, not, taking advice from, a person, who is losing.”
“Am I losin’?” You say with exaggerated disbelief.
“Yes!”
You shrug your shoulders, “Fine! Be my guest, I’d love teh’ see ya’ do a dumb move so, entertain me, go a-head, you have my permission.”
“Does your permission, include silence—long enough for me to do, anything?”
“I thought you said you weren’ lettin’ me in your head!”
“I would not be, if you, were, not—such, a heathen!”
You lay back onto the table, laughing and holding onto your side. You couldn’t care less about the chess game. Hanzo doesn’t care either, but he does enjoy playfully arguing with you.
“You’know that's probly’ hurtful!”
The chess game never does get a victor. It’s easily forgotten, and you end up with your head lazily resting against his shoulder. You might be ready to pass out, but you’re enjoying the sight of the dragons and the pup playing far too much to close your eyes just yet. Right now, even the stern one is jumping around, chirping, and having a grand ol’ time.
You muse, “It feels really nice teh’ see that one hav’in fun.”
Hanzo is engrossed in something on his tablet. He puts it down, so he can look at what you’re talking about. When he does, you just happen to see that he is sending a message to Genji.
“Oh, no, no, no!”
You snatch the tablet and lift your butt up, so you can sit on it. It takes far too many moments for Hanzo to even process what happened. After a couple of false started sentences, he manages to get out, “Give, it back.”
“M’ not gonna let you send any sad, ass, drunk messages to ya’ brother, its’ not happen.”
He gently pats your cheek, “You are, talking, like an idiot.”
You cackle, “Ive’ been talkin’ like n’ idiot this whole time! You now only jus’ noticed!”    
Hanzo rests his forehead against your temple, “It is, not sad— you can read it, and approve of it, if you wish.”
You do wish, as you don’t believe him. So you pull the tablet out and look the message over. He wasn’t lying to you. Nothing about the message is sad. Nonsensical? A ramble with good grammar? Yes, but not sad. You approve of the message and let him send it. Genji will no doubt have fun with that one. Hell, he might even love it.
Hanzo hiccups so harshly that he as to clutch his chest and groans. “Oh, I think it, might be time to go to bed.”
~
Another day goes by, and the night comes around. Initially, Hanzo had gone to bed with you. One of the things Angela has taught you is that routine is essential for a healthy sleep schedule. And one of the things that has always been consistent is Hanzo. So when he leaves the bed, it doesn't take long for your body and mind to notice, and consequentially you wake up.
At first, you are so sleep-ridden that you don’t notice why you woke. But then you feel a familiar cold sensation against your back, and your interest is peaked. You look behind you to see the still nameless, stern dragon staring you down. Your immediate reaction is to look around the room for Hanzo, who is nowhere to be found. Your heart starts to race, because something feels off.
You sit up and look the dragon right in the face, “Please take me to him.”
The dragon lets off a soft chirp and nods. It leaps off the bed and leads you out of the room. It gingerly trots down the halls, stopping every once in a while to make sure you are still following. Eventually, the dragon leads you into the briefing room, where Hanzo is sitting at a computer terminal. You softly say his name, and when he looks back at you, he doesn’t look guilty or shocked that you’ve stumbled upon him. Hanzo knew that the dragon would lead you here. In fact, he is grateful that it happened sooner than later. He needs your advice on something that is of great importance to him.
“I would like to preface with, this might sound… ludicrous.”
“I have no problem with that.”
“I am trying to find Genji’s location.” You nod, and he continues, “I think he might be in trouble. I have no tangible evidence. Other than...he has not communicated with me since last night. This is mostly based off of a feeling, but it is a strong one.”
He stops and looks at you waiting for your input, “Okay. So what are we doing about it?”
The only way to explain the expression on his face is that it is one of pure admiration and gratitude. He looks back towards the computer, “Do you know anything about hacking? I am not having much luck.”
You don’t, but you’ll try your hardest. “Move over.”
While you are trying to hack into the mission files, a familiar voice breaks through the concentration.
“What the hell are y’all doin’? Y’all were loud as hell last night, and now ur’ in here doin’ god knows what! What the fuck is goin’ on in here?”
You don’t know it yet, but McCree is wide awake for very similar reasons. The exact same reasons, in fact. McCree, who also communicates with Genji every single day, hasn’t heard from him, and it’s keeping him awake. Hanzo’s feelings must be severe, because he doesn't waste any time letting McCree know the exact truth, unafraid of any judgment.
McCree actually stumbles back, shocked that Hanzo is putting into words exactly what he is worried about, “I know where he’s at.”
Hanzo shoots up out of his seat, “Tell me!”
“I will, but I’m comin’ with you guys. You can’t stop me.”
“I was not going to try to.”
Neither were you. McCree lets the both of you know where Genji is at, and why he is there. You’d question why McCree knows so much and whether he’s actually supposed to know these things, but neither answer would really matter. Genji and Zenyatta have been tasked with “curing” some feral omnics. There is a wear house full of the things.
They all got inflicted with a nasty virus during the war, as a means to turn them against their own allies. They’re all wound up tighter than a spring and ready to tear anything apart that dares cross their path. Genji and Zenyatta have been tirelessly trying to figure out a solution to the problem that doesn't include putting them out of commission. The last time McCree heard it wasn’t going well, and was reaching a point where they’d need to make a hard decision.
The three of you are going to be in big trouble, not that even one of you is worried about this fact. McCree knows how to fly, so you borrow a aircraft and make your way out in the dead of night. Absolutely no one's permission was asked to do this. Ana, and the others, will all be coming back by early evening, and there is no way in hell you guys will make it back in time for Ana to not know that you left. It doesn't matter, however, because you’re all more than willing to deal with the consequences.
With such a high-tech plane at hand, you guys arrive at your destination in little over an hour. McCree lands the plane a safe distance away from the warehouse, and it only takes about fifteen minutes to get there on foot.
You guys stop just short of the facility and duck behind some bushes. You’ve got your harness and are ready to release the bots, so you do. You’re gawking at the warehouse, because it looks like it came right out of a horror movie. It’s dismal, run-down, and looks haunted.
Momentarily, you split up so you guys can find the best way into the building faster. The building is oddly structured. You find yourself at a wall that leads up to a ledge with a heavy duty sliding metal door, so you make your way up it.
“Hey guys, I found an entrance. I’ll see if it goes anywhere useful real quick. Northwest side of the building, make sure to look up.”
Hanzo, “On my way.”
McCree, “Y’all I think I might’ve found Zen. Not too sure, I’ma investigate.”
“Copy that.”
The door is open, but not by a lot. You can shimmy your way through it and see where it goes. But with your harness on, you won't fit. So you take it off and hold it in front of you as you shimmy your way through the small space. Not only is the door tall, but it turns out it’s extremely thick. When you’re about halfway through, you remember, and chastise yourself, for telling two broad-shouldered dudes to come here, to a space they clearly won't fit through. Still, you continue. Maybe it’s a door you can get to open up more.
As you get closer to what seems to be the end, it gets darker and darker. This is a foolish mistake, but at the end, you throw the harness, just so you can have a little more freedom of movement. You think it will be easy to get it back, but it won’t be. When the harness hits the floor you hear many loud hisses of hostility towards it. This makes you pause for a lengthy amount of time. Whatever is making that noise doesn't sound in any way friendly or like anything you want to deal with.
You’re not going to have a choice in the matter. One misplaced step sends you tumbling onto an unforgiving concrete floor. The things that hissed at the harness are now hissing at you. You remain as still as possible, every muscle in your body cramping up with fear. Lucky for you, the things that are surrounding you on all sides go back to their neutral state.
It takes you nearly fifteen minutes to stand up. Hanzo is sounding off in your ear, letting you know that he is here, but cannot get through the space, just as you had thought. However, you’re too afraid to speak, thinking that any noise is going to set off the things around you. The bots have provided you with a helpful night vision. And you can see that you are standing amongst the hundreds of feral omnics that Genji and Zenyatta have been trying to help.
You don’t know what the hell you are supposed to do next. Hanzo is desperately trying to get you to talk to him. It’s breaking your heart, but you are still so scared. Then things get worse. Much, much worse. An all too familiar black smoke catches your eye.
Stress tears start to form in your eyes. If the Reaper is here, then you are fucked. How are you supposed to deal with him and hundreds of feral omnics? The Reaper ghosts behind you and wraps a tentacle of smoke around your neck. An overwhelming feeling of bile bubbles up in your belly. The Reaper isn’t trying to kill you. That’s not how he wants it to happen, as he’s got bigger, more creative plans for that.
He whispers into your ear, “I think friendly fire is one of the most tragic ways to go, don’t you think?”
He hums in your ear, and it makes you feel even sicker. Then he leaves. Just like that, he goes. Doesn't do a thing to you. Leaving you to contemplate what the fuck he was talking about.
Suddenly a bright light shines from above, and the omnics are not happy about this at all. It's coming from yet another door that is placed unreasonably high up. How is anyone expected to be able to leave this room? Maybe that’s the point of its design, nobody is supposed to be able to leave. You look up to see an unfamiliar woman. She’s got Genji hooked under her arms, and she’s getting ready to drop him amidst all the beings he’s been trying to help.
She lets him fall hard onto the floor, and he hits with a loud reverberating smack. That’s enough to give you the nerve you need to speak up. Your voice is quiet, so quiet you’re surprised either of them can hear you.
“Genji is here. He’s here, he’s hurt, and we’re in trouble.”
Hanzo sighs heavily, “I will find a different way in.”
You would have liked to tell him good luck, but as the very first syllable comes out of your mouth, an omnic snaps it’s attention to you, stealing away any other words you have for Hanzo.
Genji is horribly mangled. Large parts of him are missing. An arm and a leg are just gone. The woman then throws a katana down after him, and it drops onto the floor just shy of Genji’s face. The omnics are starting to lose it. With the light, you can see clearly that they are caked over with rust and dirt. They are so dirty that they look nearly pitch black and look a hell of a lot like you.  
It instantly clicks that this is extremely bad for you. You get yourself moving, taking extremely careful steps, making sure you don’t disturb any of the omnics. You’re going to have to chance talking loud enough, so that Genji can hear you. He needs to know that you're here. Just as you are about to call out to Genji, a loud blaring noise sounds off. It sends the omnics into absolute madness, and the only clear target they have to throw their aggression at is Genji, who is still illuminated by the cruel and harsh light. You know he can’t hear you, but still, you call out his name.
As the omnics advance on him, you try your damnedest to make your way through the fray. But the more you push and shove, the more they realize that you, too, are a threat to them. So they start to tug and pull at your limbs, hell bent on tearing you apart, and God does it hurt. They are much stronger than you'd ever hope to be, and no matter how much you use your close quarters' skills to try and get away from them, nothing works. When you get one off of you, another is latching on. You narrowly avoid getting your arms and legs pulled from their sockets.
You look to Genij, who is now desperately trying to reach for his sword, but he can’t get to it. Several of the omnics have reached him and are trying to do the same thing to him that they are doing to you. With the katana still laying out of reach, you watch as an enormous dragon pulls itself from it. Brilliant, just as breathtaking and magnificent as Hanzo’s on the beach. But this one is a bright green color that is nearly blinding in such a closed space. Every omnic that it tears its way through, melts and sizzles, all of their wires and parts liquefying into terrifying pools on the ground.
Due to the loud and powerful dragon that is careening its way towards them, the omnics let you go, now focused on something much more threatening than you are. It dawns on you in a terrible wave of terror that you’re not going to be spared its wrath. This is exactly what the Reaper wants. It would seem he’d like you all to die in the most heart-wrenching ways possible. You take this opportunity to do the only thing that might save your life, you run. This dragon doesn't know you, and as it's decimating the omnics, it’s obvious that your bots have no chance at protecting you from it.
The loud blaring noise that sent the omnics into their extreme aggression has ceased. Now you are left with the unrelenting roaring of a dragon who will do anything to protect its master, and the mad screeching of hundreds of livid, dying omnics.
You find yourself down a hall, pushing yourself past even more of the omnics. This hall has an end, with a wall that is smooth and unclimbable. The roaring continues and will reach you soon. With your back pressed up against the dead end, the bots make a last ditch attempt to save your life. They retreat, faster than they ever have before. They think that perhaps if the dragon can see that you are human, it will let you live.
Hot tears run down your face. You don’t want to die, but it seems you're not going to have a choice in the matter. You slide down the smooth surface and close your eyes tight, preparing yourself for immense pain. The powerful roar is overwhelming now, so loud you think your ears might start to bleed. The creature is merely a couple of feet away from you now. That cliche notion that life flashes before your eyes before you die? It’s true.
Your world falls into deafening silence, and for a moment you think you must be in the afterlife. But once the blood starts to clear from your ears, you realize you can still feel your heart beating.
Chirp! Chirp!
Your whole entire body is shaking, and you can’t believe what you are hearing.
Chirp! Chirp!
You’re too afraid to open your eyes. Like perhaps you might be in a suspended state, and the enormous deadly creature is still getting ready to melt the flesh from your body.
Chirp! Chirp!
You managed to peel your eyes open. Sitting there, slamming its tail against the floor in a fervent fashion, is a medium, dog-sized dragon, with the same friendly demeanor as the ones you are more familiar with. Except this one is desperately trying to get you to follow it. When it sees that it has your attention it starts to jump around, slamming its front paws into the ground, and starts to chirp incessantly.
It’s obvious what it’s trying to get you to do. The problem is you can’t feel your body at the moment. You close your eyes and focus on your breathing, all while the creature is still yelling at you. Hanzo and McCree have been talking to you this whole entire time and still are. It’s only now that your psyche has let their voices register again.
McCree, “Come on now friend, you gotta talk to us! Ya’ better not do this shit.”
Your throat is dry, making you sound hoarse, “I’m not dead."
Hanzo is trying his best not to be upset, but you can still hear in his voice that he is angry. You understand; he’s allowed to be, “Was that a dragon?”
Oh, so they could hear the carnage. “Yes, it was,” you refrain from telling him how close you came to being a victim of the dragon's wrath. “I think we’re safe for right now. I’ll figure out a way out of here. McCree, did you find Zenyatta?”
McCree, “Yeah I found the Zen. He ain’t in good shape neither. Gonna need lots’a new parts.”
The first time you get up, you fall right back onto the floor. Your legs feel like shaky jello. The dragon hops around you, unrelenting in its pursuit to try and get you to follow it. The second time you get up, you manage to stay on your feet. As you follow the dragon, it stops several times to make sure you aren't going to walk over any of the piles of goo on the floor. It wants you to follow its exact path.
You do. You let it guide you to exactly where you need to be. As you approach Genji, he is slumped against the wall, his head rolled over to the side.
Hanzo sounds winded, and is that pain in his voice? “I am having setbacks, I will be there shortly.”
“Hanzo just take care of yourself. We’re not in danger anymore. We’ll manage, just meet us back at the aircraft.”
“Are you absolutely sure?”
“Yes, I’m positive.”
Every time the comm would buzz, you could hear gun shots. The Reaper and that woman must be giving him hell. The dragon takes a seat next to its master and cocks its head from side to the side. You kneel down in front of him, “Genji? Hey bud, you awake?”
You need him to be awake. He’s still got one good leg, and that’ll be enough to help you get him the hell out of here. His eyes flutter open, and the man smiles.
“I sure hope I am not dead. It would be tragic if you’re here too.”
Ridiculous, “This look like the afterlife to you?”
He shrugs, “Only the dead know what it really looks like.”
“Alright, Plato, you’re not dead okay?”
“Ah, happy to hear it.”
“You ready to get the hell outa dodge?”
“Yes, but my friend—.”
“Zenyatta? The cowboy already got him. We’re good to go.”
Genji chuckles, “Alright, then. Let's get out of here.”
Before you help him up, you ask him, “Are you in any pain?”
“No. My mind is weary, and so is my soul, but I am not in pain.”
You actually have no idea how to get out of this room. Your mind snaps back to how you told Hanzo you didn't need any help. Why the hell did you do that? Lucky for you, the dragon has got it handled. It’s chirping and hopping in a corner of the room. Before getting Genji, you check what it's trying to point out to you.
The dragon is showing you a vent. It's low to the ground and rusted over, but you’re able to kick it in with little effort. It's not exactly big, but you’ll both manage. You let Hanzo know that it might take a while for you guys to make it out of the building, because Genji can only move so fast right now.
As you’re helping Genji get to where he needs to be, you can see the look on his face shift as he takes in the hundreds of piles of what used to be the feral omnics. You can only imagine how he must be feeling. Seeing all of the things he had been trying to save, ruined, by his own dragon. You’d try and make him feel better about it. It’s not his fault; it’s the Reapers, but now's really not the time. And you’re not the right person for that job, anyway.
Getting through the vent is nearly comical. Actually, it is. You knock your head against all four sides trying to look back to see how Genji is fairing. And Genji is not fairing well, because only one of his arms is fully functional, while the other is barely helpful. Every once in a while Hanzo will ask, in a shockingly mellow tone, for a status update, and you always simply state, “Still in the vent.”
Then you have the brilliant idea that if you shimmied ahead a little bit, he could reach out, grab your ankle, and pull himself forward. Without any grip for you to hang on to, what happened instead, is that he just ended up pulling you back. So you're back where you started, and he didn’t move an inch. It feels like it takes an hour to finally make it out the other side. In reality, it only took twenty minutes, but still, that's a long time.
Hanzo, “The Reaper, and the sniper have retreated. Still, take caution when getting to the aircraft.”
“Got it. We’re finally out of the vent and on our way.”
You both make it back safely. As you approach, Hanzo is standing in the open hangar, on high alert, bow in hand, and an arrow ready. When he sees you, he throws the bow onto the ground and helps you get Genji into the craft faster. McCree is looming over an omnic you are assuming to be Zenyatta. He wasn’t kidding when he said he’d need new parts, and he doesn’t seem to be conscious.  
When McCree looks back to see Genji his eyes light up with an assortment of emotions. God, he is happy to see him, but he’s also fighting heavy sorrow, due to the terrible shape he is in. When you set Genji down, McCree is already at his side, “Hey partner, what’n the hell you get yourself into huh?”
Hanzo’s attention is fixed on Genji. Seeing him in person again after so long, and in such dismal conditions, seems to be taking a toll. Except, there is something more there in his facial expression that makes your stomach drop.
“Han? Are you okay?”
He nods.
That a lie, and you know it. “Jesse, I’m really not trying to be insensitive, but we need to get going.”
“Na, your’ right. We’ll have plenty’a time to caught up once wer' safe.”
You don’t see Jesse give Genji a quick kiss on the forehead, before he hops up to go get the aircraft going. You’re too focused on Hanzo, quickly inspecting him for the cause of the ill look. It doesn't take you long to find it: a deep dark red spot that runs down the length of his clothes on his right side. You place a hand on his chest as you lift up the cloth to reveal a bullet wound.
“Oh, my—Hanzo! Sit down, right now!” You help guide him onto the floor, you’re suddenly very upset with him, “What the hell is wrong with you? How dare you not tell me you got shot.” With more quiet volition, “Why would you keep this from us?”
No answer.  
Genji tries to get up, but can’t. “Where brother?”
Hanzo doesn't answer, so you answer for him, “His back, close to his lungs.”
You leave Hanzo sitting on the ground to go find medical supplies. He must be in shock, has to be in shock, there’s no way he would deliberately hide such a life-threatening wound on purpose. You’re in denial, and refuse to believe that. It hurts too much to think so. You’re going to have to deal with the truth of the matter later.
As you’re gathering heaps of gauze, and dressings you tell Jesse, “Hey we need to get in contact with Ana, let her know Hanzo’s hurt so Dr. Zeigler can—“
“Already did friend, she’s been tryna’ get ahold of us this whole time, she got notified the moment we took the aircraft fer'a joy ride. We’re in for one hell’of’a tongue lashin’.”
You don’t give a fuck about getting chewed out right now. All you want to know is that someone will be there to help Hanzo at the base. Hanzo’s finally taken some initiative, he’s removed his sleeve before you got back, so that you have clear access to his wound. Your heart is racing. To the eye, it doesn't look all that bad. But this is bringing you back to that truck bed with the little boy you couldn’t save. As always there is only so much you can do, and right now all you can do is dress his wound and apply pressure to keep it from bleeding any more than it already has.
If he’s got an injury on the inside, like a damaged organ, or internal bleeding; then you can’t, you wouldn’t be able to…
You rest your forehead up against his shoulder blade, and shut your eyes tight. Your heart is breaking, and you’re trying to keep yourself from being angry. Your eyes are threatening to let the tears fall again. You’ve got your palm firmly pressed against the wound. If Hanzo’s in pain he’s not letting it show. You’ll keep the pressure as long as you have to.
Your left leg is thrown out next to him, Hanzo places a hand on your knee, his grip isn't strong, but it’s still enough to help you believe that he’s going to be okay.
Genji says your name, “Has my brother ever told you any stories about our childhood?”
“A few.” Your words have an unwanted crack in them, but it was all that you could manage.
“Hmpf! Let me tell you about this one time, when we were very young; Hanzo? You must have been, ten? Me, seven? Surely you remember the time—” Genji has a hard time telling the story, because he has to stop to laugh between segments, “We were watching a movie in a theatre, and Hanzo, you, you— you burped so loud that the lady— the lady in front of us,” Genji says your name to ensure that you are still listening. “I am telling you, the lady in front of us smacked her husband on the back of the head so hard, he lifted up out of his seat, cause she thought it came from him!”
Hanzo finishes with, “They got into such a heated argument they had to leave, heh.”
Jesse chimes in, “How come ya’ never told me that one Genji?”
“Some stories are best told with the person they happened with.”
Hanzo laughs weakly, “We had far too much soda that day.”
“Well, it was the appropriate amount for two kids who were having a burping contest, don’t you think?”
“Yes, I suppose it was.”
“Fortunately for our own entertainment, some of it chose to stick with you, unfortunate, for that man and his wife.”
Nobody in this aircraft is in a good place. Some are worried, while others are torn apart or hurt. Genji insists on telling more stories, and you are grateful. You understand what he’s doing, and will have to remember to thank him later. Getting back to the Watchpoint is easy. Everyone is already back, and Ana is waiting for you guys in the hangar.  
The doctor gets straight to work on helping Hanzo. Genji and Zenyatta are crippled but they will survive without immediate help, Hanzo will not. She is appalled by the number of people who are in her infirmary, and only allows a couple people to stay to assist. You are vehemently told you will not be one of them. At least before you leave she tries to assure you that Hanzo will be okay, it could have been far worse. You believe her, but it doesn't make you feel any better.
Ana gives those who are able to listen to her a tongue lashing like you’ve never received before. You could push back on her words. There are plenty of reasons why you guys were justified in leaving, but really you don't have the energy, or the gusto to argue back. All of your brain power is so caught up in stressing over Hanzo, that it doesn’t even hurt that she’s pissed. In fact, it’s a welcome distraction
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delusteration · 7 years ago
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here’s my thing about love- i want to feel like i deserve it, but apparently, i am so fucked up that i dont.
i.
lets start at the beginning. the first time i experienced what i thought might be love was with josh. i didn’t mean to love him, i didn’t even mean to like him. we became friends and when he told me he liked me, i decided it was so cool to have a boy 2 years older than me so i should like him too. i remember our first kiss in the snow outside of the martial arts studio. i remember months of sneaking out back by the power box and making out, but keeping our “relationship” or whatever we had under wraps. he left me for another girl, but then i was there for him to come back. i was there to watch him get back with hannah, vikki, and cassie, and i provided support through each girl, although i stayed loyal to him. then miguel came and changed me so i could finally give josh what he wanted. i talked to him endlessly and kept him hidden from those who were most important to me. i let him be angry to me. i let him talk shit to me. i endured the emotional abuse time after time, and no one knows the effect it had on me. i let him call me baby and tell me all those things to reel me back in, and eventually i told him i loved him. i couldn’t have not told him that. i don’t want to say i was tricked into it, but i was under his abusive spell and there wasn’t really anything i could do to change it. i remember bawling, sneaking out to give him pleasure, listening to him tell me everything that was so wrong with me and so right about everyone else, and then saying “i love you” to fix everything so i could give him what he wanted. later, he said we would be better off as friends and i was weak. what did i mess up this time? what was so horrible about me that i could give someone my 100% and it still wasnt fucking good enough? even a month later, his new girl danced with someone else and the minute he called me to talk, i came out to kiss him again, bawling in his car. it would be out last kiss, but not our last encounter. he begged me back after. he told me i was the girl he was the most in love with and he was sorry for everything he said about me, trying to remove the daggers from my heart. but the thing about removing daggers is that there leaves a gaping hole, only to be filled with other boys and the need for love. spoiler alert, i stil cant fill it, which leads me to my next love. 
ii. 
my next love was a piece of metal. i ran 3 miles to get my blade, and what i thought was my savior. i remember night after night sitting in my bathtub. not thinking about what i was doing, not crying, just being numb and needing to feel something. i still felt nothing but agony and self hatred. funny how love can come full circle and an emotion you felt once, you can feel so strongly again. today, this love remains, thought it is different. it is a love in envision in my head all day and all night. they say north to south, but they dont talk about the aftermath. 
iii.
my next experience with love was mykael. this was the first time i really did love someone, and it is probably the last. or maybe i didn’t love him. i dont know love. he made me feel a way no one else has before. it felt so right and he made me so unconditionally happy. i could be myself and we could joke and laugh and the conversation flowed so well. when he dropped me, i acted like i didnt give a shit, but obviously i did. when we reconnected, it felt right. he made me finish twice and even though he wasnt perfect, he still turned me on so bad. everything seemed right, and i wish he felt the same way. i saw a future and i wish he did too. he healed the wounds the daggers left, but inserted his own. yeah he did some shitty things, but who doesnt? thats the thing about love...once you’re really actually in love with someone, you never lose it. part of you would still do anything for them. if he wanted to kiss me, i don’t think i could resist. and my fourth experience with love is the only thing that held me back, but that’s just a fountain of pain now, so who knows, maybe he can provide a place of numbness and a night of bad decisions for me and i can feel again instead of reverting back to two.
iv. 
cassie was in love with me. i couldnt give it back to her, but she gave it to me. the thing now is, she said i was hot all the time, and now im not, so i starve myself. she said she loved me, but now she doesnt, so i dont either. she said i made her happy, but now thats someone else, so im not happy either. graduation is supposed to be one of the happiest seasons of your life, but this has been the deepest, darkest depression of my life. i feel lost, hopeless, tired, and underwhelmed. like i said, you can’t just stop loving someone, so i guess the one person who i actually thought loved me, never did. the last time we had sex i was blackout drunk and i wanted to remember it. she cant even give me one last kiss, i guess that how much im really worth. after this, i am sure i will never be good enough for someone to love, after this, i know that sex with me never meant anything, how can you just start fucking someone a week after you fall out of love with someone else? how can someone make you lose your moral compass? im happy for her, but sad for me. and thats how i know i dont deserve anything. i dont deserve love, and she cant even show me patience as a friend and love that way and be excited to see me anymore because i am that bad. because of her “love” toward me, i have seen how undeserving of love i am. i have seen how terribly i deserve to be treated and how easy it is to fall out of love with me and how no one can actually, truly love me. 
what the fuck is so bad about me? why can’t people be excited to see me? recently, i have realized that the amount of pain im in is what i deserve it. i know how awful of a human being i am. for god’s sake, no one can really love me. no one can want to be with me. once someone makes me happy with their love and i feel l like i can give them what they deserve and im ready, they revoke it. 
the wounds from the daggers have been ripped open, and no one will make an effort to close them. who cares enough? not me, not anymore. what the fuck is wrong with me and why am i so bad? why is this pain so prevalent? cant someone show me what i deserve? maybe i already have been shown what i deserve, and this feeling of sadness and inner turmoil is who and what i truly am. 
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aubreylynnengland · 8 years ago
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Puppet.
“I’m ready, Doc. Do it.” I was sitting in the edge of my bunk in my barracks room with my eyes closed and my head taking on what felt like a steady beating of sledgehammers.
The Corpsman stuck me with an epi-pen of imitrex in my thigh and I felt a slight relief in the pace of the beating. This was one of the first few memories I have of being treated for chronic migraines after Daddy passed. I’ve never really felt quite the same since then. My heart for sure hasn’t….. and my head has put me through pure hell. I’ve also felt pretty weird in my own skin because of the smorgasbord of medicines I’ve processed through my body trying to find a preventative for the migraines and knock them out once they got fired up. I’ve been on pills- pills- pills, shots, narcotics, and all the triptans the pharmaceutical companies manufacture. Nothing has worked in 10 years. Over the counter meds help some, if I’m lucky and I catch it in time. (And of course ice, complete darkness, silence, and rest.) There was a period of time that I was taking topomax and it had me in such a haze I’m not sure what happened while I was on it. I was numb. My body functioned, I was awake, but I was a Zombie other than that. Zoned out, quiet, felt like I moved in slow motion, and I was hungry. Haha. But really, I did feel like I wasn’t the one operating myself. I quit taking those after a month or so and have been on a quest to find the magic beans ever since.
Why am yapping about my hangups with migraines & the pill-poppin’ adventure? Well, I thought about it long and hard today, and I have decided that all of those things changed me & I haven’t been the “same ol’ Aubrey Lynn” that I was growing up from that point on.
You could probably guess that life is NEVER the same when you endure the pain of losing a parent. If you know me, you know this is never far from the forefront of my mind. Ive been asked at times if I needed to talk to a doctor about how this affects my life. I don’t feel like I need counseling, I just talk about it all of the time to anyone that will listen. Its therapeutic to me, and I feel like its progressive. I don’t express the many emotions I have about missing Daddy because I’m having trouble grieving after 10 years, I express them simply because I AM grieving. Still. And I feel like I will for the rest of my life. I feel like the stress of losing him created the chronic migraine condition and I think the combination of those terrible things started to make me not feel like me very much. Is that depression? Probably. Aren’t most people depressed in some way or another these days? Who knows. I just feel like I had a chemical shift that made me start feeling like a strange version of myself. A talking face (sometimes) and a body that is somehow moving and doing things with that hurting head in tow.
Do I feel? Of course I do!… more than ever. But, I have moments where I’m thinking to myself- I’m only in my mind- in that head that hurts-watching my body function, but I don’t feel like I’m making any of those things happen. As if I’m a puppet on strings and someone is dragging & dangling me around through the motions of my life.
I’m glad I was in the Corps on active duty when I started to feel like this. The disciplined structure and lifestyle probably kept me from falling off the wagon and straight into a slimy, smouldering mess of myself. They gave me an incredibly generous amount of time to grieve and to get “well” with my migraine issues. Once I stabalized, all I had to do was wake up & show up. Someone in charge of me gave me orders. I followed them. Simple, easy, black and white. I had Marines to take care of, too, so I focused on them and made a pretty damn good Sgt of Marines out of myself. I was also fortunate enough to work for some of the greatest Men and Marines on the planet that I will forever hold in the highest regard. They took care of me like a daughter they never had. They took care of me like my Daddy would’ve and I am grateful for that. Its been 9 years since I left the Corps and California. (The migraines are still active. Even more so when I was pregnant, 3 times over.) I worked some after my firstborn was a year old, but they decided for me that I couldn’t work a regular full time job. Music has been my job ever since … and being a Mama :) … At least working for myself allowed me to adjust my own schedule as needed for recovery time when I have migraines. I’ve been in and out of doctor’s offices being seen about them for relief, but I still haven’t found the fancy fix it all that I long to find. So, I suffered the only way I knew how… by hanging in there. On my strings. I found myself like this one day, and I didn’t like me. The migraines were just a gateway to the marionette I’d become. I quit taking care of myself and let a lot of people do it for me. Not because I couldn’t … just because I got complacent. I would get so debilitated sometimes that getting up so try and find something to ease the pain was so much “harder” than not moving… so, I just laid there and hurt….and thought… and wallowed in my pitiful misery. After being cared for so many times like that, I just got used to it. This billowed over into many things in my life. I was still that floating head, doing stuff when I wasn’t having an explosion in my brain, but I wasn’t really operating myself in a lot of ways. The only thing I had complete control of was my writing and my voice. At least I had one safe little room inside my mind to go to where I could be Aubrey. Then I could whisper into a crowded room and talk about the pain I was going through, even if nobody was listening. I was so full of crap to even notice that new hands held my head up there. Why would I not get off my ass and do something about it ? Had I gotten that lazy? That was part of the problem, for sure. I was tired. I was weak. “Strung out” and hung out. I wasn’t me at all. I let that sad sack of bullshit weigh on me for far too long, and I am not proud of myself for it. However, I am proud of my babies, growth in my music, and the courage I found to get the hell up and dig the scissors out of the junk drawer. Thank goodness I learned how to sew somewhere along the way… because I have a lot of patch work to do with my strings… So, where am I with migraines, grief, and life unstrung now? I’m still in here… stitching. (I woke up with another today.) That little bastard beat me half to death for about an hour before I got up and fought back. If Ive learned one thing from it all, its that I don’t have to just lay there and hurt. I got up, held on to the wall with my eyes closed tight, found my way to the meds and a hot shower. Sat in the floor of it letting the water hit me in the face till it got cold. I kept saying, it’s gonna go away. It’s gonna pass. It did for a while. Came back tonight. (Barometric pressure for the win on this cluster.) I guess I’ll always live like this… I can’t change the weather, ya know. What I can change is how long I lay there in pain. How long I let it make me miserable. That, ladies and gentlemen, is the positive mental attitude I freaking know. That girl right there, folks, is a hell- bent - hard headed fighter that I go wayyyyyy back with. That chick with her soul on fire and ready to find a way or make one, my friends, is ME. I might have slipped and fell into a black hole hard enough to “break-a-leg”, but I made a choice to get off my sorry ass and crawl back up. Thats how I know I’m not hanging myself on those strings anymore…. and Aubrey Lynn is still alive & kickin’.
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