#i am so fucking angry and so fucking tired and I'm quite literally reaching my fucking breaking point

[dr-spectre]

your most recent post reminds me how much I don't enjoy overtly negative octavio depictions and callie being treated as a "brainwashed hapless victim) due to how it feels like an oversimplification of the lore as well as translation cherry picking

(it's also why i can't get behind "morally good" cuttlefish like hi he canonically recruits children too consider he enlisted his own grandchildren into his literal secret operation + if we count the English translation as the all holy translation is behaviour towards marina is genuinely vile "I don't see species" DUDE???l

It gives a sense that when we see callie still caring about Dj Octavio, it comes from a sense that she gets him, as well as a more fanon interpretation on my end, that she feels like at least he reached out to her, he could've easily kicked her out of octo canyon but he let her stay

And that probably meant a lot to her, even if quite a bit of it was maybe manipulation, it was still more than what she got on the surface, because on the surface, all she was was an idol people could see and bombard with photos, a brand. And not a person.

It's like hell on nuanced earth 😭

Uh

Woopsies this is very long 💀💀💀💀

I don't have much to say about this. I've ranted about Callie and DJ Octavio for so fucking long man. And i ain't gonna stop until i can go on Inkipedia without groaning, or watch a YouTube video where some random guy doesn't just reads off a wiki page and nothing else. I'm getting really really tired.

Sometimes the Splatoon community really makes me upset and it's lack of giving a shit on what words they use. Brainwashing and Hypnosis are on opposite sides definition wise. STOP USING THEM INTERCHANGEABLY!!!!! I HAD ENOUGH!!!!! THIS APPLIES TO OTHER MEDIA TOO!!!!!!!!! ENOUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

God. I would rather the Splatoon community push a "Callie and her second octopus grandpa" dynamic over the malicious takes people have said for over 7 years. Why do we want that shit for Callie and Octavio? Ugh... Oh well. I'll keep ranting over and over again, i don't care anymore. I don't care if i seem mean or pissed off. I am angry. (Plus i didn't get much sleep last night so i'm a bit bleh rn...)

[nexus-nebulae]

stupid fucking broken body

[mi-rae07]

Kim Hongjoong : You and Her (Part 1/2)

Pairing : Kim Hong-Joong (Ateez) and named character (Lee Hana)

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Synopsis : Hongjoong and Hana are new parents, which come with a lot of new challenges with the new baby. And in between facing all of that, Hongjoong forgets about the person who gave him his daughter in the first place, his attention shifts to Hannie when his wife needed him most. And now she’s reached her breaking point. What will happen? Especially when hongjoong has his own problems.

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A/n : does anyone want a part 2☝️

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Hongjoong entered their house after a long day at work, having left at 8 and the time now being 2am. Except as soon as hongjoong closed the door behind him the sounds of a baby wailing and crying hit his ears, causing hongjoong to quickly throw his bag away as he rushed towards his newborn baby's nursery. But just as he was about to climb the steps he paused in front of the living room, realizing his wife was sitting on the sofa, blank eyed as if she wasn't hearing anything.

If she was here, who was taking care of their daughter?

Hongjoong : hana?

Hana flinched at the sound, looking at hongjoong as a tired smile fell on her face. A smile, did she not hear her daughter crying?

Hana : you're back. The dinner-

Hongjoong : hana, she's crying.

Hana looked back straight, her expression once again blank as she said

Hana : she's always crying.

Hongjoong : why are you here then? You should be with her, trying to get her to sleep-

Hana : well you're home now anyway, you go do it.

Hongjoong frowned at her words, astonished. She had never been like this.

Hongjoong : what? Look, it's not as if I have a problem with looking after my own daughter but you just…you seem so unbothered, hana.

Hana : I am unbothered, she's crying for the most useless of things. One time it's for her toy, the next it's because of the light, and then it's because her dress is slightly folded.

Hongjoong scoffed, walking closer to hana as he tried ignoring his daughter's cries for a few minutes. Because this was more important, because what was hana saying?

Hongjoong : hana, she is not even a year old, what do you expect from her?

Hana : to stay quiet for at least an hour? So that I can rest? Sleep? Eat?

Now he was angry, she was treating their daughter like a dog.

Hongjoong : hana! What is wrong with you? This is literally the only thing you have to do, take care of the baby. Why can't you do even that without complaining like this?

Hana looked at hongjoong with angry eyes, standing up as she said

Hana : you think it's that easy? To look after a baby 24/7?

Hongjoong : no one told you any of this would be easy, hana. But I go to work everyday, working my ass off to provide for the both of you. And then I come back home and take care of the baby and the housework. If I can do all of that, why can't you just stop the baby from crying instead of lazing around like this?

Hana : this is exactly what I expected you to do, disvalue all that I do once we have that baby.

Hongjoong : all that you do? What exactly is it that you're doing, huh? You quit work, you don't talk to me anymore, you're always shut off and depressed, not a single smile to be seen in your face ever, you won’t talk to you friends either and now you won't even look after our daughter?

Hana was getting frustrated even more now, did he not get it? Did he not fucking understand?

Hana : you think I'm doing all this because I want to? I want to talk to my friends as well, hongjoong! I want to go out with them as well! I want to be happy as well, I want to wear the dresses I like as well but I fucking can't! why? WHY? BECAUSE I JUST HAD A FUCKING BABY, OKAY?

Hongjoong looked away, his hands on his hips as he said

Hongjoong : everyone has babies, hana-

Hana : WELL I DON'T CARE ABOUT EVERYONE ELSE HONGJOONG, I'M TALKING ABOUT ME NOW, AREN'T I? SO STOP DRAGGING OTHER PEOPLE IN HERE! STOP DISVALUING MY WORK AND CALLING ME FUCKING LAZY WHEN YOU WANTED THIS CHILD IN THE FIRST PLACE!

Hana had never screamed at him like this before, he could see the tears in her eyes. She was really hurt.

Hongjoong : hana-

Hana : I QUIT MY JOB BECAUSE I HAD TO TAKE CARE OF OUR CHILD! I'm not talking to you because I'm tired from having to take care of the baby all the time! I'm not going out with my friends because I have to keep feeding our daughter! And I can't even wear whatever I want because my body looks like a fucking joke!

Hongjoong paused, staring at hana as a tear rolled down her eyes. It broke him apart. Hana smiled as she said brokenly

Hana : good job being the best husband and father ever, hongjoong. Good job going to work everyday and then coming back home and doing even more work. But I'm sorry I can't do the same, I'm sorry I have failed you, our daughter and our family.

Hana walked away, climbing up the stairs as she headed towards her daughter's nursery. Hongjoong bit his lip, plopping down on the sofa as his head fell against his hands.

If his wife had had to say all of this to him, crying and screaming, then he had failed as a husband too.

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Hana : shh shh, mama's here.

Hana let out a breath as she picked her daughter up, cradling her closer to herself as she let hannie have her milk. Hana's breasts had already been sore from all the feeding she had done throughout this day and the day before. But it wasn't like she had a choice, was it? She loved her daughter, and these were sacrifices she had to make.

Hana looked at the mirror in front of her, her once bright brown eyes now having dark eyebags underneath them. They had lost all it's glow, and so had her skin. It was now filled with small acne and scars from her daughter's fusses, the skin all dry and dull. She had gained weight, and that was the worst of them all. She no longer fit in her favourite dresses and she hated it. But even then, when she'd see the small smiles on her daughter's faces here and there, she felt like maybe it was all worth it.

Hana leaned back against the bed with a tired sigh, closing her eyes as she held her daughter closer to her protectively before whispering

Hana : mama loves you hannie, mama loves you a lot. Please forgive her.

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Hongjoong had just finished making breakfast when he heard hana walk down the stairs with hannie, her small gurgles reaching hongjoong's ears as he rushed to where hana was now standing, staring blankly at him.

Hongjoong : give her to me.

Hana looked at the pancakes that were kept on the table as she said

Hana : it's only 7.

Hongjoong : and you're already awake, aren't you?

Hana : because she is.

Hongjoong sighed, taking hannie from hana's hold as he said to her

Hongjoong : come eat the pancakes, I've made it just the way you like it.

Before hana could say anything more hongjoong led her to the dining table, making her sit on the chair as he cut a piece of the pancake before holding it in front of hana's mouth

Hongjoong : say ah.

Hana looked at hannie who seemed to be busy playing with hongjoong's hair as she opened her mouth. The pancakes tasted amazing, especially when hannie wasn't ripping hair out of her scalp.

Hana : hongjoong, what are you trying to do?

Hongjoong : feed you, of course.

Hana : why?

Hongjoong : can't a husband feed his wife?

Hana : well you haven't been a husband to me for so long, only a father to hannie. Why do you suddenly change?

Hongjoong stared at hana with hurt eyes, her taking hannie away from hongjoong before seating her on hana's lap as she said nonchalantly

Hana : go and get ready for work, hongjoong. You'll be late.

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Hongjoong came back early from work that day with flowers in one hand and a toy in the other, to see hana watching tv with hannie lying fast asleep in her arms. Hana did not even turn to look as hongjoong walked up to them with a tired smile, holding the boquet out for hana as he said

Hongjoong : I bought them for you, since you like roses.

Hana : put them in the vase, thank you.

She had never sounded so cold, or was it that hongjoong hadn't noticed?

Hongjoong : hana are you…are you not going to even look at it?

Hana could hear the hurt in hongjoong's voice, so she turned to look at the flowers for a second before turning back to face the tv as she said

Hana : happy now?

Hongjoong : happy? Do you really think I could be happy when the one person I love ignores me and pretends as if I don't even exist to her? My happiness is you, hana, and you I do not seem to have anymore.

Hana scoffed as she said

Hana : so it's my fault again now.

Hongjoong : what, that's not what I meant-

Hana : I did not have you when I needed you either, hongjoong. Sure, you were with hannie all the time, you would put her to sleep, feed her, change her diapers, yes. What about me then? Did you care whether I slept? Whether I ate? Did you even ask me how I was, how I felt? I needed you too, hongjoong, and I didn't have you.

Hana stood up as she realized hannie had started crying by now, snatching the roses from a teary eyed hongjoong as she said, looking straight into his eyes

Hana : these stupid flowers will not make that all okay, it will not give me what I lost, the husband I lost.

Hana walked away from hongjoong, throwing the flowers onto an empty vase nonchalantly before climbing up the stairs to the nursery. Hongjoong let out a shaky breath as tears rolled down his cheek, his hands that held the toy trembling in his fist.

He really had failed as a husband.

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Hana stepped out of the nursery hours later after having finally put hannie to sleep, her eyes tired and her body sore. Hana paused on her tracks as she saw hongjoong sitting with his back against the wall on the floor, his eyes closed. Was he sitting outside on the floor for this long? He hadn't even changed out of his work clothes.

Hana leaned down as she patted hongjoong's arm in order to wake him up as he jumped awake, almost scaring hana as well.

Hana : what are you doing on the floor?

Hongjoong blinked at hana in part confusion as he slowly said

Hongjoong : I was…waiting for you?

Hana sighed, standing up as she said

Hana : don't do it again, it's unnecessary.

Hana started walking towards their bedroom as hongjoong quickly stood up too, following her as he said

Hongjoong : I'm sorry, sorry for not noticing you. I was just too stuck up on our daughter, I wanted to make sure hannie was fine-

Hana : so you forgot about me, yes?

Hongjoong : hana please, you know I love you.

Hana : knowing isn't enough when your husband doesn't even talk to you anymore about matters other than your daughter, hongjoong.

Hana opened the door to their room as she stepped inside, getting on the bed as hongjoong said

Hongjoong : I know I've been a bad husband but you haven't…you could never lose me, hana. I still love you, I always will. And I'm trying to be better, I'm trying to be what I once was.

Hana : great.

Hana laid back on the bed, pulling the blankets over her as hongjoong let out a breath, looking at the floor before saying

Hongjoong : it's just been so hard for me too, hana. Of course, not as much as it could've been for you. But I-I just didn't know how to manage time with hannie and work, and you. It got messed up, but I won't let it happen again. I promise.

Hongjoong paused for a minute, realizing he wasn't going to get any response. He sighed, turning around and was about to leave when a voice interrupted him

Hana : are you going to run away again, like a coward?

Hongjoong paused, realizing what she meant by that. It was the same thing hana had said when hongjoong had first asked her out back in college, when hongjoong was about to leave since hana had given him no response. Just a look.

And now she was giving him the same look, making hongjoong immediately cry as sobs filled the room.

Hana : oh, joong.

Hana quickly got up from the bed, rushing towards hongjoong as she hugged him tight. Hongjoong buried his head on her shoulders as he weeped like a baby, his arms around hana's waist tight, as if he was scared of letting go.

Hana : I won't leave you, hongjoong.

Hongjoong : I thought…I thought you were going to.

Hana chuckled as she ran her hand along his hair before whispering

Hana : how could I ever, you're the father of my daughter.

Hongjoong : I love you, I love you so much I swear I've never not loved you my entire life.

Hongjoong paused as he heard nothing in return, opening his eyes as he asked

Hongjoong : hana? You…you love me too, right?

There was no response. Hongjoong pulled back, realizing that hana was crumbling into dust in front of his own eyes. Hongjoong's eyes widened as he said in panic and fear

Hongjoong : hana! Hana no, no you can't leave me. HANA!

??? : HONGJOONG WAKE UP!

Hongjoong gasped as he opened his eyes, immediately holding onto whatever was in front of him as he panted heavily.

Hana : it was just a nightmare, shh.

Hongjoong let out a whimper as he looked at hana who was kneeling in front of him, her face part worried. Hongjoong felt relief rush all over him as he realized he was still outside hannie's nursery, the time 3am now.

Hongjoong : you're…you're here.

Hana : where else would I be?

Hongjoong stared at hana, his eyes blurry from the tears

Hongjoong : hana are you-are you going to leave me?

Hana frowned, confusion filling her eyes as she asked

Hana : what are you-

Hongjoong : hana please don't leave me. I have…I have no one but you and hannie. You know my parents left me because I was a bad son, right? Are you-are you going to leave me because I'm a bad husband too now? And when hannie realizes I'm a bad…bad father she's going to leave me as well and I'll be all alone again. Oh, I-I-

Hana : hongjoong no.

Hana looked at hongjoong as she realized he was breathing even faster now, sweat forming on his forehead. He was going to that headspace again, and it hadn't happened for years now. For hongjoong to have brought up his parents who had died in an accident when hongjoong was just 9, this was terrible.

Hongjoong : I'm so sorry, I'm so so sorry please don't go away from me. I know I'm a bad-

Hongjoong cut himself off as hana brought his head towards her chest, wrapping an arm around his shoulder as hongjoong broke into loud sobs in her arms, his body still quivering and sweaty against hers.

Hana : you're not a bad anything, joong. Shush.

Hongjoong clutched hana's shirt in his hands as he said

Hongjoong : you told me you didn't love me, you disappeared when I told you you loved me. I couldn't…I couldn't save you this is all my fault.

Hana frowned, she had never said that. He was talking about the nightmare he had just had, it was probably triggered by the fact that he lived with the guilt of not having saved his parents, something he couldn't have possibly done at that young age.

Hana : hongjoong-ah, I never did all that. It was just a nightmare, I told you. I'm right here, I'm not leaving you-

Hongjoong : you said that before too! But you still left!

Hana pressed her lips together as hongjoong cried harder against her chest, her own eyes filling with tears at how broken he sounded. He was having one of his episodes.

Hana : hongjoong, that wasn't me okay? Look, look at me.

Hongjoong shook his head, holding hana tighter as he said

Hongjoong : no no you're going to leave me again. No. no I can't-

Hana forcefully pulled hongjoong away from her as she held his wet cheeks, wiping his tears before saying

Hana : see? I'm right here, I'm not going anywhere. I won't leave you I promise, hongjoong. And neither will hannie, okay? She's our daughter, your daughter. She will always love you.

Hongjoong stared at hana with tears flowing down still, his lips trembling as he asked in a low voice

Hongjoong : you-you won't?

Hana : never, I promised didn't I? On our wedding day?

Hongjoong closed his eyes as hana kissed his cheek, slowly rubbing his back to calm him down as she whispered

Hana : you're my entire world, I couldn't leave you even if I wanted to.

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[lovelywingsart]

Metallic (18+)

-- Karl Heisenberg X OC (AFAB, She/They) --

Oh lord here we go- Ok, first off, y'all get a small paragraph beforehand, please forgive me. :'D I've... never posted smut THIS PUBLICLY before. This is admittedly incredibly nerve-wracking and I'm hella nervous because I feel like I write... 'conservatively'? You'll see what I mean. So... Please go easy on me for this one...? I'm great for sweet stuff and angst, but smut is a whole other beast despite NSFW being one of my favorite art forms when drawing. I mean, I've already made a few *spicy* art pieces for them, but just... Writing is difficult. I mean, I really hope you guys like it anyway!! But fair warning. THIS is new for me. QuQ I do have a few more smut pieces in the works, but this was the first one written.

So uh... on to the story, I guess...!

**Small reminder that I have a small 'Masterlist' for these!**

-------

*Warning?: Hella smut, lots of biting, choking and kisses, some blood from said biting, just rough sex in general? Normal, to rough, to fluff. not entirely sure what else to add?? :'D It's all consensual, no worries.

Summary: With some high tensions, a smart mouth, and some unfortunate forgetfulness, Emelia gets herself into a bit of... 'trouble' with the notorious Metal Man. But maybe this time she bit off a bit more than she could chew... Not that she really ends up minding.

A pair of footsteps echoed through the underground tunnels of the factory, almost mimicking the constant sounds of pickaxes being dug into the stone. The walking man looked around every once in a while, seemingly proud of whatever progress had been made.

"All is going well. Good, good." He said proudly, puffing on the cigar he held between his fingers. The woman next to him rolled her eye. The small lights of the tunnels glinted in the glasses he wore as he turned his head to glance at her. "Is there a problem?" He chuckled.

"If by 'well' you mean 'excruciatingly slow by dimwitted slaves', then yes."

"Would you like to join them then, Emmy?"

"Bloody hell, no. I'm still sore from lugging those damned carts around..." Emelia mumbled, reaching to rub behind her neck. The man next to her chuckled again, handing over his cigar. He stepped forward slightly as she took it, holding out his free arm.

"And yet you're still walking!" He chimed, looking back at her as she puffed on the cigar, herself. "We'll change that soon enough."

"I'm not working myself to death, Heisenberg." She huffed, picking up speed and shoving the cigar back into his face. "While factory productions are important to me too, perhaps learn the definition of a 'break', and not as in 'break my back'."

Karl took the cigar with amusement as she walked forward ahead, clearly heading back to the main building.

"First you tell me to work harder, then you say not at all." He mused, following closely. "Has it ever occurred to you that maybe I can do what I want?"

"And yet, what you want is what affects YOUR factory in the long run... Timing, Karl."

"You act as if you know more about MY factory than I do."

"And what do you know?"

"Everything."

"Good, then you know I'm heading upstairs to rest for a moment."

"I assumed so."

~

The two wandered along the corridors to a hall with stairs leading to a metal door, sharing the cigar before she went forward and kicked the door open, snorting as she heard an irritated grunt behind her.

"If you break that, you're fixing it." He muttered, setting his hammer down to the side as he took the cigar from her. She snorted, tossing her own weapon to the side, watching it land on a pile of fabrics used for either covering machinery or covering herself when she slept, whichever happened to come first.

"You say that as if it would be difficult." She retorted, taking her hair out of the tie it was in and running her hand through it before stretching slightly as he walked past her to sit in a chair next to a desk in the room they were in. It was similar to a bedroom, but not quite. 'More like an office with a small bed' , she always said, occasionally taking residence on said 'bed' when she was tired. She felt Heisenbergs eyes on her as her muscles stretched and popped, and she let out a satisfied groan.

"It wouldn't be, but you'll have to make a new one from scratch." He said, arching a brow as he leaned back in the chair. She rolled her eye, moving to stretch her arms in front of her.

"Again, not hard." She shrugged, finally moving towards the desk he was next to. "Making a door takes less brains than you already have."

"Are you calling me an idiot?"

"I'm not calling you a genius."

She almost laughed as she saw him pause before taking a long drag on the cigar.

"I'm going to pretend I didn't just hear you say that." He sighed. She shrugged, leaning over the table and looking over the papers that had been laying on it.

"It's a joke, Heisenberg. I'll admit you're more intelligent than you let on." She said, moving the papers and other objects slightly while looking at them. She then paused as she held them, her eye going over the plans, x-rays, and sketches. "Did you leave out the other Soldat plans?"

"They're in with the cadou notes. I thought you would have seen them." He said simply, reaching for a manila folder on the corner of the table. He put the cigar in his mouth as he opened it and flipped through with a huff. "The new ones haven't been functioning properly, damn things... I'm thinking of rewiring the circuits to the brain.".

"Wouldn't that cause more damage than good?"

"Not if it's done properly." He chewed on the cigar for a moment before flipping over one of the papers. "The worst that could happen is the head exploding from the current. In that case-"

"Lycan food?" She suggested. He nodded in agreement.

"Lycan food. They're mostly useless to me otherwise..."

"As are most things..." she muttered, earning a glance. She looked back at him. "What? Am I wrong?"

"Not necessarily. Others do still have use."

"How?" She asked, turning to face him. "No head means no use."

He shrugged, tossing the folder back onto the table before leaning back in the chair.

"Replace certain muscle tissue and bones with pneumatic or hydraulic systems, whichever proves to be less of a pain in the ass that day, hot wire circuits to the remaining muscle structures, add an engine system into the chest with a strong battery..." he tilted his head slightly, almost as if he were picturing the plans in his head, thinking of more details as he went along. "They would quite literally be mindless, but a few shocks and currents would make them go just fine."

"Sounds a bit like you..." Emelia snorted, turning back to the table to organize the papers as he glared at her. "Shall I pick a few poor sods from the village to test this?"

"Or I could just use you..." he muttered.

"You wouldn't dare."

"Keep making your ass-backwards comments and see what happens." He shot back, finally pushing himself up to stand. "Yes, I'd like you to do that. Fresh bodies work best for the experiments. I'll send out the Lycans as well, given they don't tear them apart."

"That wouldn't matter anyway, Karl. You'll just stitch them back up like you always do."

"I could, couldn't I?" He started, taking a step closer to stand next to her with a sinister smile. "Or I could make YOU do it. You seem to have fun with tearing things apart and putting them back together-"

"I'm NOT sewing your bloody creations together." She interrupted. "I'll kill them and I'll tear them to shreds, or I'll assist with the inner workings of the mechanics. I don't sew."

"You'll learn."

"Like hell I will."

"I'll make you."

"Bullocks."

"Keep talking, Emelia." He dared, his voice lowering in a threatening manor. "I'm not in the mood."

"You were before we got here." She challenged. She only held her breath as he suddenly snuffed out the cigar on the table itself while his eyes seemed to stare directly through her.

"That's what happens when you keep insulting me, Emmy. I start to get angry. You know that."

She felt a chill down her spine at his voice. It was different from any other time she had aggravated him... It was as if she were in actual danger. His face was only inches away from hers, and he smirked once he noticed her hesitation.

"Scared, Emelia?"

She kept her eye on him, watching his movements carefully. No, No she wasn't in danger... Maybe.

"No." She replied, lifting her chin slightly as he arched a brow.

"Oh?"

"What is it you say to me...? I'm 'in a mood'...? Because I believe you're currently in one, yourself." She asked, finally moving forward and brushing past him in a nonchalant manor despite being somewhat stiff in her movements. "Drink some coffee and throw a few things around with that power of yours, you'll be fine."

She felt his eyes on her as she neared a cushioned chair against the wall.

"I'll throw YOU around..." He growled, taking amusement in her body slowing down as he spoke. He walked towards her as she turned to face him. "See how that pretty mouth works after your head goes through a wall."

"You forget I've stopped your hammer with my arm." She huffed, crossing her arms over her chest before smirking. "You smashing my head through a wall would be as effective as Sturm trying to hold something with his nubs."

"You don't seem to understand what I can do to you, Emelia."

"And you don't seem to understand the amount of fucks I don't give, Karl."

His arm twitched slightly, and she glanced over as metal pieces on the floor began to shake just slightly. She just hoped he wouldn't direct his power towards her...

"If you would like to play, I'll GLADLY entertain you."

She suddenly got in his face, a mischievous, antagonistic spark in the gold of her eye.

"Entertain me HOW? Throw me to the Lycans? The Varcolacs? Hell, let Urias get ahold of me, see what happens."

He bared his teeth in a snarl, though the corners of his mouth stayed in a malicious grin.

"I'll turn YOU into a goddamn Soldat, you'll be so full of metal you won't be able to FUNCTION without me-"

"I'm more afraid of your SISTER than I am you!"

Her smirk widened as she saw a sudden spark of anger in his face, his smile faltering.

"Don't you dare attempt to bring that bitch into this, I'll put my hammer straight into your skull-"

"TRY ME, THEN-" She started, only to give a yelping gasp in surprise as Heisenberg slammed her against the wall by her throat.

"Shut your damn hole!!!-" He snarled. His grip was tight, but he seemed to stop once he glanced at her open mouth. All of a sudden the air around them changed, and she stared at him with confusion in her one golden eye. "Oh, Emmy, you didn't tell me!" He said with a sudden cheerful tone, moving his hand from her throat to her jaw. He switched so quickly...

"Wh-" she began, only to stop as her jaw was yanked open. She was confused until she saw the reflection of her tongue piercing in his glasses.

Shit.

"Well well, I guess you've got some metal in you after all. I won't have to try as hard..." He chuckled, tilting his head as she stared at her own reflection. "What else are you hiding from me, Emmy?"

Her eye was wide in simultaneous fear and curiosity. She knew she couldn't have hidden the piercings forever, but certainly longer than this. She usually at least took the one out of her mouth when around him given how often they talked for this reason... But even then, he had never noticed it before. Why now?! She kicked herself for forgetting. She wanted to shove him away... Shove him and run. Would he chase her? He was most definitely trying to scare her, she knew that much... But she also wanted to know how far he would actually go if she did nothing. Would he rip them out if he found the others? Use them as control like he mentioned? Or would he leave her alone? Something told her the latter was out of the question as he showed growing interest in her silence.

"N-.... Nothing..." she managed, nudging her jaw out of his grip. "I just-"

"You're a liar, Emelia." He said, his grin growing wider. She gave a huff and shook her head.

"I am not, you ridiculous-"

She was stopped with a startled gasp as a gloved thumb was shoved between her jaws, nearly propping her mouth open.

"Now now, this'll go far easier if you do it my way. Now open up."

He lifted his other hand to his face, taking a finger of the glove between his teeth and sliding it off. The glove fell to the ground between them, and she watched as he reached for her face with his bare hand. She flinched slightly as his fingers pressed against her lower jaw, though admittedly relaxed as his thumb drifted over her bottom lip. The skin was expectantly rough, she found, calloused and covered in smaller scars. She closed her eye as it drifted over her sharp lower teeth before thrusting over her tongue, pushing it back and causing a small gaging reflex. It tasted... metallic... Metallic with hints of other things. Not quite metal, not quite blood... Maybe residual oil? Maybe a hint of the cigars. She couldn't tell exactly what it was, but the mixture wasn't bad... She really didn't mind much. She could almost feel the interested look on his face as she relaxed, though she attempted to hide it. Oh god, was she enjoying this...? She only flinched as he pressed his thumb against the muscle, pushing it out of her mouth somewhat to see the piercing fully.

"Let's see how much you're hiding from me, shall we?" He grinned.

There was a moment of confused silence before she felt his thumb press against the metal rod, her eye snapping open with a gasping yelp as what felt like electric sparks and currents traveled through that piercing, as well as the others.

All the others.

The sparks lasted only a second, but a second was all that was needed as her back arched slightly away from the wall. Heisenberg took a step back in surprise as Emelia suddenly collapsed to her knees, shaking and panting ever so slightly out of shock and... something else. She doubled over with a wide eye, an arm covering her chest and the other pressed against her abdomen and ever tightening thighs. What the hell WAS that...?! What the fuck did he do?!

"W-.... Wh-...." she tried, trying to voice her thoughts. But alas, despite the tingling feeling up her spine disappearing, she couldn't. She couldn't even move as she heard movement directly in front of her, the shock of the feeling only allowing her to look up as he grabbed her chin and lifted her face to meet his. She watched as he kneeled, only to look up and see the most smug grin she had ever seen.

"Liar liar, Emmy... You know how I hate liars." He chimed, adding to the smug aura he held. It pissed her off, but she couldn't do much about it now... She then grew nervous as he tilted his head, taking in her reaction fully as she stared at him with an ever-deepening red blush on her cheeks. "If I was more foolish, I'd say you enjoyed that."

"I-I... D-did NOT...!!" She snapped, stopping with a small squeak as he shoved his thumb back into her mouth to silence her.

He was met with another squealing whine as he pressed against the piercing once more, gleefully sending more currents through the metal pieces in her body. Emelia reached up to shakily grab his arm as the piercing was left alone once more, though the residual shock still remained. She wanted to say something... Say ANYTHING... but the feeling in her face, chest and thighs was so odd and... and good... It kept her silent, and Heisenberg took interest.

"Lycan got your tongue?" He joked, chuckling as she let out a growl. He found it amusing, of course. She only frowned as he tilted his head with the ever present smirk, his sharp teeth glinting in the dim light of the room. "You know, Emmy..." he started, yanking her forward by the jaw slightly as she kept her hold on his arm. "I can't help but wonder how it tastes."

She felt another shiver down her spine at the sickeningly curious tone in his voice. Taste... Taste?? She stared at him as he removed his thumb from her mouth, though nearly started to form words immediately in stupid curiosity. The answer came to her quickly, however, in the form of a hand around her neck, a mouth to hers, and being shoved against the wall once more. She made an almost strangled noise as her back hit the concrete, her mind attempting to play catch-up as she felt something being shoved into her mouth. More sparks traveled along the piercings as his tongue slid over hers, and she let out a whining growl in response.

The taste of metal and the slightest bit of sweetness filled her mouth, along with the taste of the cigar they had shared only minutes prior. But... Why did it taste so good? Why wasn't she fighting him? She found herself frozen for a few moments as the realization set in that she... truly enjoyed this. He couldn't have known, could he? There was no WAY he could have known... Oh god, what was wrong with her? She generally wanted to strangle the man, but now...

She allowed the frustration from earlier to bubble in her chest, giving her control of her limbs for a few moments. Heisenberg began to back off, thoroughly satisfied in her reactions and his 'taste test' before she suddenly grabbed the front of his jacket and yanked him back against her, giving a quiet grunt as her back was forced against the wall again with his weight. He was brought to his knees at the force of the tug, and it was her turn to feel satisfaction as a startled grunt left this throat.

Emelia returned the forceful kiss with all her strength, her back arching somewhat with the now consistent current from the piercings. Her legs shook slightly as she felt a warm feeling in her thighs from the current, unintentionally letting out quiet whimpers and heavy breaths into the kiss. His hand stayed pressed to her throat before he moved it to the side of her neck and shoved her head upwards with his thumb. He tore himself away to attack her neck immediately, licking along the skin before closing his jaws around it. She gasped as he moved along her neck, leaving bloody bites and bruises while using his free hand to nearly rip at her shirt. The fabric was pulled it from its tucked position, his grip tearing a few holes in the worn fabric as he held it taught away from her skin. She couldn't help it as her heavy breaths turned into pants, and she gripped his arm tighter as she felt the fabric continue to tear from a mixture of his grip and her squirming from the feeling between her legs. She shuddered as he finally pulled away from her now very bruised neck, his lips hovering right against her ear.

"Let me taste all of them, then." He growled, returning his hand to around her neck and squeezing along the bottom of her jaw.

Her squirming paused in his grip. 'Please, oh PLEASE-' she thought, secretly wishing to rip the shirt off, herself. But he couldn't know that... If he did, she knew he'd taunt her mercilessly. Not that he wasn't doing the same now... Instead she shook her head just slightly, trying to even out her breathing.

"W-Wait-" she started quietly, only to gasp once more as he finally tore the front of the shirt clean off from the seams. He tossed the fabric to the side as her back arched to meet the new air her front was exposed to, the newly revealed silver nipple piercings glinting as her body moved.

"Too late." He chuckled deeply, grabbing her by the side and bringing her chest forward as if he were claiming a prize.

He leaned down slightly, his arm wrapping around her as his mouth returned to her skin. He kissed and nipped to her shoulders and collarbone until his lips met the tip of the large scar that rested between her breasts. She swore she could almost see something flicker in his shade-covered eyes as he seemed to study it before nipping at it carefully. The nips were... oddly careful. It was as if he knew what it was... She managed to compose herself enough to speak, one of her hands moving to nudge his shoulder. She couldn't help but give a nervous gulp as he looked up at her, his eyes burning as if her touch had fueled the fire.

"N-... N-Not... um..." she tried, her voice oddly timid. She knew what was happening, though the idea made her nervous... "N-Not... here..."

"Hm?" He tilted his head slightly, loosening his grip on her neck. He then followed her gaze to the small 'bed' in the corner of the room- though it was more like a single mattress over a solid 'frame' with random odd pillows along the wall and multiple covers lumped on top. It was how she liked it.

"Th-There... uh..." she looked away for a moment, heavily aware her burning cheeks. "P-... P-Please..."

She could nearly feel his smile against her skin as he chuckled, though he didn't reply. It was then that she was suddenly picked up with a surprised yelp and tossed over his shoulder, her knees pressing against his sides to balance herself. She managed to hold on long enough before he walked to the 'bed', landing roughly onto it as she was tossed. She nearly scrambled to sit up until she looked up at him, watching him quickly close the space between them, removing his thick jacket and single remaining glove.

"Stay still, Emmy. The show is just getting started." He taunted, unbuttoning the long sleeve shirt he wore before kneeling onto the cushion and looming over her. She couldn't help as her vision traveled down what she could see of his chest, seeing similar scars along his skin.

She opened her mouth to speak, giving a quiet yelp as she was shoved into the sheets by her neck, her legs now situated around his waist. Her back arched as he leaned over, biting at her shoulder and collarbone once more before around one breast and onto the other. She gave a whining gasp as he reached the peak, his tongue swirling around the sensitive skin and the small bar of metal pierced through it, his teeth grazing the it ever so slightly. He used his other hand to trail along the scar on her chest and down to her pierced belly, his rough fingers caressing the skin until they pushed underneath the tied overalls. Her legs twitched as his fingers reached the piercing between them, feeling as it was surrounded by a moist warmth. He smirked.

"I knew it." He said, rubbing against the piercing and bundle of nerves with another jolt of electricity before removing his hand. She couldn't help the whine that left her throat as her hips bucked lightly from the feeling, and he chuckled. "Easy..." he muttered, returning the palm of his hand to her stomach and shoving her down.

He dug his fingers into the skin around the belly piercing as she glanced down, and she made another strangled noise as he sent another wide current through her piercings. Her back arched as he pressed harder to keep her down, though she was startled as he suddenly crushed his mouth against hers once more. The small currents pulsed in a slow rhythm as she returned the kiss, her legs shaking and tightening against his hips. She let out a soft cry against his lips as the pulses increased, her grip on his arm tightening and even pulling him closer as the waves of a small orgasm rushed through her in spasms. The feeling was strengthened with the addition of... something pressed to her thighs underneath their clothing. But the waves... The small spasms that affected the muscles of her back and legs... While it hadn't been something she had felt even when human, and while she knew what it was, all she knew was that it felt good. REALLY good...

She could have sworn up and down she hated the man at any point before this, but as he broke the kiss and pulled away to look at her, she couldn't help but feel... want? Desire? Whatever it was, she knew she didn't want it to stop at the moment, and that's all that mattered to her. She still didn't want to give in so easily... But god damn was this feeling hard to fight off.

"D-... D-Damn you..." she nearly whispered, her voice wavering slightly. She was met with an amused chuckle as he removed his glasses and lightly sent them to the table they had been at before.

"Just what I like to hear..." He taunted, removing his hand from her throat. "Tell me, Emmy... Do you want more? Feel free to say nothing if you do."

She stared at him as he gave another sly grin, opening her mouth as if to protest... But she couldn't. Instead, she remained silent, though gave an irritated, embarrassed huff as she glanced off to the side. Her lip curled into a silent snarl as he gave another chuckle.

"I thought as much." He replied, leaning up. His fingers were dragged along her skin as he moved, trailing along other scars that littered her skin.

She glanced down to follow his hands, watching as they trailed over her hips and around to her front where the knot in the tied mechanic suit she wore. With one quick movement it was untied and loosened, and she jumped as everything was suddenly pulled away and off of her hips, sliding down her thighs. She froze at the new rush of cool air surrounding the warmth between her thighs, and suddenly the entirety of the clothing was removed as he seamlessly pulled it away from her legs. Now she was completely bare in front of him... Exposed.

The desire to cover herself was overwhelming as she met his eyes, seeing the smugness and sense of possession he gave as he took in every visible inch of her skin. Her arms and legs twitched in an attempt to cover any vulnerable areas, but she suddenly found her arms pinned next to her head and his hips against the backs of her thighs to keep them open.

"Don't you dare." He grumbled, a smirk still on his face as he glanced down slightly before looking back up at her face. "I haven't tasted everything yet."

"Wh-..." she tried, her legs twitching again.

She was met with another kiss as he leaned down, though it didn't last long. She let out quiet pants as his lips and teeth moved along her jaw to her neck, leaving more bites and bruises among the ones that already stained the skin. Her arms twitched as he reached her breasts again, hit tongue repeating the same actions as before on both piercings before finally returning to the large scar running down her sternum. He planted light kisses and nips along it, earning her confusion as he continuously moved lower. She watched as he nipped along the skin of her stomach, the corner of her mouth twitching as he seemingly, almost playfully, gently bit the piercing in her belly and glanced up at her. She rolled her eye for a moment before he sent another current through the metals, and she let out a soft whimper. It wasn't until he let go and moved to kiss and bite around her hips and thighs that she realized, her head shooting up with slight panic as she felt his lips against the inside of her thigh.

"H-Hey-"

"Quiet Emmy." He purred, the tone of his voice making her freeze. She watched as he kissed the inside of her thigh once more, her head landing back against the cushion with a shuddering gasp as he bit along the sensitive skin. Her hand flew over her mouth as he moved closer to her core, whimpering as she felt his tongue gliding along the skin.

"K-Karl, wait-" she whimpered through her fingers, only to take in a sharp, gasping breath as she finally felt his tongue against her, moving slowly as if savoring her reactions.

She tried closing her legs, though found it nearly impossible due to his hands forcing them to stay where they were. She could almost feel the bruises form where his fingers pressed against the skin, though that feeling was second in her mind compared to the pleasured sparks up her spine with each movement of his tongue. She couldn't help as her hand left the sheets, finding its way to his head as he played with the small piercing through the bundle of nerves, sending small electric pulses through her body once more. She felt the vibration as he chuckled against her, gripping his hair with small gasps and whimpers as his tongue delved into the warmth. Her back arched slightly with each movement, her thighs shaking from the new sensations. Why did it feel so good...?! She let out a long whine as the electric pulses continued, eventually biting down on her hand as to attempt to prevent any further noises. She could feel the tightness return as his teeth grazed against the piercing, and suddenly her hand was gripping his hair in a fist as she came again, a multitude of muffled whines and mutterings of his name escaping her mouth while her back arched. She barely heard the grunt he gave as he was pressed against her, not even realizing as he was able to pull himself away.

She flinched as Heisenberg reached up to grab her wrist, her body shaking slightly as he managed to nudge her hand away. He ran a hand through his hair to smooth it out, rising to loom over her once more as he licked his lips. Where the actual FUCK did he learn that?!

"That hurt, Emmy." He purred, keeping his grip on her wrist as she finally looked at him. Her face was red as she panted, her legs trembling as they rested against his hips once more. "Good girl."

He smirked as she stared up at him, his tongue swiping over his teeth before he leaned over and yanked her other wrist from her mouth, pinning both of them to the cushion beside her head. Her breath caught in her throat at the sudden movement, her eye widening as it met his. There was a moment of silence as they held a stare down, only ending as he shifted her wrists into one hand and used the other to undo the belt and button of his own pants in one swift motion. It took her a moment to register the movement, keeping eye contact once the full realization of just how far- and how fast- this was about to go hit her. She squirmed slightly in his grip as she glanced down, nearly breaking said grip, only to get caught in yet another rough kiss as she felt something warm press against her thighs. She could taste herself on his tongue, and somehow it made her arousal worse...

She let out a whining groan as she was rubbed against, her back arching once more at the new feeling, only to give a surprised and somewhat pained cry against his lips as she felt him enter her quickly and fully with a grunt. She gasped into the kiss as he returned his hand to her neck, her back arching into his chest and her thighs once again tightening around his waist. More of the pleasurable feeling shot up her spine as he moved a few times, pressing against her roughly as she gave small whimpers and whines. It felt... good... so good. Why did it feel good? Why did all of this just feel GOOD? What the hell was she missing from her old life that didn't include THIS?? She couldn't help the small moan she gave as the kiss was broken, and he shoved his hips against hers. He tightened his fingers around the sides of her neck with a sly smirk as he stayed where he was. Although the glint in his eyes may have looked malicious, his actions proved otherwise as he allowed her a few seconds to relax.

"Am I being too rough with you, Emmy?" He asked, his smirk widening into a grin as she mindlessly shook her head, though it was more like a few twitches.

"N-... No... N-Not rough enough..." she growled with a challenging tone, though her voice was still light. She was met with a dangerous chuckle.

"Good."

Emelia glared up at him with a somewhat clouded eye, her breaths coming in light pants that turned into gasps and moans as his movements continued, growing faster and harder with each passing second. She struggled to keep her voice down despite the feeling of each thrust sending sparks into her chest. The sounds of his low grunts and deep breathing weren't helping, she found, and it made it much more difficult to control her own pleasured noises. She was then aware of a low laugh from him.

"Ah... I didn't think... you could sound like THIS, Emmy...~" He purred, his grip on her neck tightening. She opened her mouth, nearly flinching as she let out more soft moans.

"S-... S-Shut...." she tried, though was unable to finish any thought with her gasps and whines.

Her arms struggled in his grip, shaking with each thrust, only to suddenly be freed as he let go in order to take ahold one of her hips. She mindlessly reached for him almost immediately, gripping the edge of his shirt with one hand and grabbing the necklaces around his neck with the other in order to yank him down. She was rewarded with another rough kiss, her head being jerked up as he kept a hand around her throat. She let go of the necklaces, instead reaching under his shirt, her fingers trailing over his own scars until her nails dug into his back. There was an internal satisfaction as she heard Heisenberg give a surprised grunt, only to give a yelping cry as he suddenly pulled away to replace his hand around her neck with his teeth.

Small sparks of pain made their way through her shoulder as his teeth broke the skin, though they seemed to amplify the feeling as the thrusts became rough and quick. She finally reached her other hand around and under the shirt he wore, her nails dragging down the skin of his back as her moans and whines grew louder.

"F-... FuCK...! K-Karl...!!" She said suddenly, her voice cracking somewhat as she was met with a possessive growl and the slight smell of fresh blood as he let go of her neck. She couldn't help but gasp as she felt his cheek against hers, his beard scratching against her skin as his lips nearly against her ear.

"You're MINE, Emelia..." He growled.

Emelia felt as more pulsing currents were sent through her piercings, and she couldn't help but cry out as the pulses caught her by surprise. Her muscles tensed, her nails tearing at Heisenbergs back as she felt the waves of a strong orgasm, making her body shake and her legs flex around his waist. Her thighs tightened at his hips, halting him enough to keep him where he was as she came, but not long enough to stop him entirely. He let out a low growl as he kept up his movements until he slammed against her hard enough to move her up a few inches. She gave a gasping moan as could feel his muscles shudder and a strange warmth in the pit of her stomach as he filled her, and her back arched against his chest as she nearly hugged him to her for dear life.

There was small silence as their movement ceased, each breathing heavily. Emelia held onto the man over her as if it meant life or death, momentarily forgetting her irritation around him in the first place as there was a sudden feel of lips along her neck in a multitude of small kisses. They were gentle against her bruised skin... The odd tickle of the facial hair made the corner of her mouth twitch as she panted, unintentionally laying her head to the side for him as she very slowly but surely relaxed. Her irritation only slightly returned as she heard a chuckle from her neck, and she glanced down.

"Th' bloody hell is so funny...?" She muttered, unable to keep the lightness from her voice. She watched as he looked up from her neck, a sly smile across his still bloody lips.

"You're adorable, Emmy." He said simply, making her groan and start to push him away.

"Piss off...!!" She growled, only to gasp as he suddenly leaned over her with a chuckle, nearly being pushed into the mattress again as he finally slipped off the button-up shirt.

"Precious little doll, you didn't seem to hear what I said."

'Doll' ...? Emelia stared at him, now also shirtless, taking in the rest of the scars she had never seen. She could feel her face heat up more as he leaned over her, holding himself up with his hands on either side of her shoulders.

"Wha-" she started, only to let out a gasping yelp as he gave a single hard thrust to silence her.

"I told you, Emelia. You're mine. In more ways than one, it seems." He nearly purred, leaning down to press his nose to hers.

Her single eye widened as he grinned, only to be met with a quick, relatively gentle kiss. It took a moment for her to calm down before she returned it, staying where she was and secretly holding herself to that proclamation. She didn't want to admit it... She never would. But somehow, despite how he could be, this made her feel... wanted. It was an odd feeling, and one she knew she would be hesitant on getting used to. But she still hated him... Right?

She gave a soft whine as he pulled away, physically removing himself from her with a shuddering breath. She let out a whimper as she relaxed back against the covers, feeling an odd coldness and even a slight sense of loneliness as his weight left the mattress. She opened her eye with confusion and watched as his pants were fixed before her vision trailed up his back to see the bloody scratches she had left.

"Whoops..." she muttered, earning a chuckle and a glance back.

"I'll let you relax for now, Emmy. I don't wanna break you just yet..." He joked, nodding to the shirt he had left. "Use that for now, we'll get you another shirt later."

She couldn't help but smirk, her face red.

"Done already...?" She asked, her smirk faltering heavily as he glanced back with an odd mischievous glint in his eyes.

"Never said I was, Doll. This is for your sake."

Emelia watched as he began to walk to the jacket he had left, but she felt... sad. Not because he had stopped. Not even because she almost wished they would keep going immediately... No, it was another reason she couldn't quite place with every step away he took. She carefully pushed herself to sit up, wincing at the tenderness that settled between her legs before reaching for her discarded jumpsuit. But she only grabbed the simple boxers she had, managing to slip them on with minimal issue. She saw him slow his movements as she managed to stand, her knees just the slightest bit weak. Holding on to a support beam on the wall, she shakily made her way over to him as he glanced at her with an odd curiosity. She didn't care if she was entirely naked save for underwear, simply covering her chest with her arm as she reached for him. She stumbled into his back, feeling his muscles tense as her arms slowly wrapped around his torso, her fingers lightly drifting along the hair and scars on his chest.

"Don't you dare leave me like this, Heisenberg..." she muttered, pressing the scarred half of her face against his back. She knew he could feel her trembling as her legs threatened to collapse on her.

There was a moment of silence before she heard and felt him chuckle.

"You really are an odd one, Emmy..." He chuckled, turning his head to glance at her over his shoulder before giving a dramatic sigh. "Have it your way, then."

Emelia jumped as he suddenly turned in her arms, her cheeks going red as his face was suddenly mere inches away from hers. What was she DOING? Why she acting this way? She didn't know... But she was pleasantly stunned as she felt his hand raise and nudge her chin gently. However, instead of it going around her neck again as she expected, he simply caressed her cheek, avoiding the scars around her missing eye; Even he knew she hated them being touched, and now didn't seem like the best time to annoy her. In fact, he almost enjoyed her more when she was calm like this... She couldn't help but feel relaxed as the rough pad of his thumb brushed over her skin. Relaxed enough to settle her cheek into his hand fully, ever so slightly trying to remind herself that this wasn't who he was all the time. This was temporary... But she could do temporary.

"... Don't tell anyone..." She muttered suddenly, keeping her hold on him as he leaned back against the shelving next to them to stay comfy. He chuckled once more.

"Who do I have to tell, Emmy?" He chimed. She stared at him for a moment before shrugging, laying her head against his chest.

It was a moment of domesticity that she vaguely remembered wanting as human... Something about someone being close physically always seemed tantalizing, yet there was no way to achieve it here... Or so she thought. If she could just have more time like this... Though she knew it wasn't meant to last, especially not with him... But for now, she appreciated it. It wasn't until her senses focused on the machinery noises outside of the room that she gave a sigh, reluctantly pulling away from him.

"I should get back to work, then..." she mumbled, taking a few steps away, her fingers dragging along his chest before she turned, not seeing Heisenbergs face as he watched her walk away and run a hand through her hair to push it out of her face.

She made her way over back to the bed-like cushion, absent-mindedly picking the button-up shirt he had been wearing and slipping it on, herself. She'd take it since he offered, and because she didn't necessarily feel like hunting down new clothing. It was only slightly loose over her frame, being only slightly smaller than him in stature, and she felt his eyes burrow into her back as she buttoned it up. Quiet footsteps approached her from behind, causing her to jump with a small gasp as arms surrounded her while the shirt was only halfway buttoned. Heisenberg pulled her back against his chest, one hand on her hip and the other around the front of her waist.

"What are you-" she started, only to stop as the arm around her waist raised to nudge the collar of the shirt off her shoulder, placing gentle bites and kisses along the skin as soon as it was shown. Small shivers went up her spine with the movements, and she let out a wavering breath in attempts to not laugh from the tickling of his beard. "K-Karl, stop-"

"I never told you to get back to work..." He said simply, his now semi-serious tone interrupting he train of thought and causing any hint of laughter to disappear. He trailed kisses and bites to her jaw and her ear once more. "Indulge me then, Emmy, and I'll let you go. Let me have my fill."

Her face fell slightly. His fill... Did he mean...?

"W-What, be your toy until you're done?" She huffed, turning her head slightly to face him. Though he was on her blind side, she could almost feel the grin.

"Well, when you put it that way..." he started, letting his hands wander. One trailed under the shirt slightly, his fingers drifting below her belly, while the other found and gave a gentle squeeze to a now exposed breast from the shirt being moved before resting over the large scar. "Yes. But don't worry. I take care of my toys... I said I wouldn't break you so soon. And besides..." he pressed another gentle kiss behind her ear, "You seem like you want more. Am I wrong?"

Emelia took a shaky breath as she felt the odd sensations once more, reaching to hold onto his forearms as his hands moved. Well, of COURSE he was right... She knew there wasn't much else she would have to do around the factory today anyway. She worked constantly, and the factory ran relatively smoothly without her. She even came here for a break, anyway... And, despite her feelings about him, what the man had just shown her was... Well, her legs still held a slight wobble. To say she wanted more was an understatement. And so, she have a small huff and looked forward, tilting her head to allow him at her neck.

"... Go ahead..." she muttered, her voice an embarrassed tone. She felt his grin against her neck taking a breath as he gave a small, rough bite.

"You won't regret it, Emmy."

She gave a small, joking snort.

"I'll believe you if you can prove it, Karl..."

"Oh, even after what I've just shown you?" He played, his lips pressing to her neck once more. She said nothing, only somewhat easing against his chest with a huff. She rolled her eye as he chuckled, though her breath caught in her chest as his hand left the scar, letting his fingers trail up and along her throat. "I didn't think I would have to prove anything."

"You never do..." she muttered suddenly, only to close her mouth as she felt him freeze behind her. Where the hell did that come from...??

"Oh?"

She was silent for a moment before clearing her throat.

"Th-That, ah..." she started, only stopping as he grabbed her throat and pulled her to him roughly.

"What?" He growled, ever so slightly moving them forward. She took shaky steps, following his direction.

"N-Not... what I... mean..." she finally managed, glancing down with a quick breath as she felt the edge of the work table against the front of her thighs.

"Hm. What did you mean then, Emmy?"

"I..." she tried, though was unable to find her voice. What was this rush of excitement...?? The tone of his voice sent chills down her spine as he nibbled at her shoulder while awaiting a response. She then decided to just speak. What could go wrong?

"I-I mean...." she managed, gaining a smirk and holding onto his arm. She could feel as he tilted his head in curiosity. "You haven't quite done so thus far, how am I to believe you could...?" she continued, feeling his grip tighten. Good. She pulled away from him slightly to aggravate him. "You always need to prove yourself Karl, you won't get far without it-"

She was stopped with a surprised grunt as she was suddenly shoved down against the table, giving a surprised grunt of pain as her chin hitting it with a light *thunk* . He kept his hand between her shoulders, using his weight to keep her down as she moved to rub her jaw. Her hand was then suddenly yanked away as he twisted her arm behind her back, earning an uncomfortable grunt.

"Bloody hell- H-hey-!"

"I don't give proof, huh?" He growled suddenly, leaning down over her to talk into her ear. "I assure you, Emelia, I have all the proof you need."

She opened her mouth to speak, only to shut it with a surprised noise as he suddenly bit down on her neck and yanked her towards him. The backs of her thighs hit his hips, and she let out a small, surprised whimper. He slipped his fingers under the waistline of her underwear with his free hand, taunting her by slowly dragging them down. There was a sudden spark at her piercings once more while her lower half squirmed, and she couldn't help but give a small, moaning whine as she felt the sparks increase. Waves of pleasure traveled up her spine, causing her back to arch into the table somewhat and nearly bite her bottom lip until it bled. Small goosebumps covered her skin as she felt her underwear finally fall to her ankles. It wasn't until she felt him adjust himself behind her that she attempted to look to the side, only to be met with a growl and his teeth digging into the skin more.

She could smell the blood as it began to seep from between her skin and his teeth... It made her head swim as she finally felt him rub against her roughly, the small sparks of pain from his teeth adding to the odd pleasure she was feeling. He removed his teeth from her neck for a moment to speak into her ear, sending more shivers down her spine.

"I've got your 'proof' right here." He purred, his smirk nearly audible. He shoved her down again once more. "HERE!!"

He gave a rough thrust forward as he spoke, filling her quickly once again and earning a yelping moan; but this time, he didn't stop. A mixture of pain and pleasure racked her body as he kept up the rough thrusts, simultaneously twisting her arm more behind her back to hold her there. She couldn't stop the now loud moans and whines she gave as she panted, nearly digging her nails into the metal table supporting her. She could feel the pulses of her muscles threatening to tighten and mutate as she was slammed into nearly mercilessly, her fingers creating small dents in the material as she forced her mutation back once she felt a familiar flutter in her chest. He seemed to notice, letting out a low chuckle through his own grunts and growls.

It wasn't long before she felt the sudden waves of an orgasm, making her give a loud cry as she shifted under him, pressing back against him for a moment. She reached forward quickly and gripped the edge of the table, easily denting and nearly crushing it in her grip with light cries as he continued his thrusts through the tightening spasms. Her body shook while he didn't slow down. Instead, he increased his movements, and she almost felt tears come to her eye with the overwhelming sensation.

Her other arm was suddenly freed as he moved to grip both of her hips, leaning down to bite at her shoulder once more with low grunts and growls. He kept going... Oh god, he kept going. She couldn't speak, the only noises leaving her throat being whines and cries. She couldn't help but lean into his jaw, almost begging him for more despite the overstimulation. Her neck was bitten multiple times as if she were being marked, each bite breaking the skin with ease. Beads of blood slowly dripped from the wounds and over her skin every time he let go, only to feel his teeth elsewhere. She felt tightness below her belly once more as she let out a wavering cry of his name, only to be met with slower thrusts and a growl at her ear.

"What do you want, Emelia?" He growled, his voice low and strained. She couldn't help but squirm and push back against him with whining whimpers as he slowed more, quickly becoming frustrated and seemingly desperate. No... No, why was he stopping... Why was he slowing down?!

"N-.. N-No...!! D-Don't- fuck- D-Don't slow-...!!" She managed, earning a dangerous chuckle.

"Tell me Emelia, or I swear to God I'll stop right NOW." He played. She could hear the smirk in his voice as he spoke. She knew this was amusing to him... It was payback for her insults. Her body shook out of desperation and anger as the thrusts slowed considerably, and she put her forehead against the table with a growling whine. He held her hips in place against the table to prevent her from moving against him. She couldn't take it anymore... She wouldn't even try to fight it. It was as if she were being denied a prize, and she hated it already.

"F-Fuck- I-" she started, barely able to get words out, "Y-YOU Heisenberg, you bloody idiot!!! I want YOU!!!" She finally yelled, her voice cracking somewhat. "J-Just... D-Don't... Don't FUCKING stop!!! Fuck- PLEASE!!"

She could almost feel the pride-filled smirk he gave in knowing he had won, but she didn’t care... Her little outburst gave her slight confidence as he chuckled, his last breath coming as a low growl.. She jumped as she suddenly felt an arm around her waist, roughly pulling her back towards him as his other hand reached to pin and hold hers as if keeping her in place. A wavering whine left her lips as he gave a possessive growl, looming over her with obvious intent.

"Good girl." He grumbled, only giving her a chance to inhale before returning to the powerful, near brutal thrusts from before, pulling her to him with each movement.

She didn't even attempt to hide her voice again, her cries and moans growing louder with each passing second. She almost didn't want the feeling to end, allowing herself to melt into him as her back arched into his chest.

"D-Don't... D-Don't stop... F-FUCK- Don't stop...!!!" She repeated, her voice wavering with uneven pants and gasps.

"You. Are. MINE." He suddenly growled in her ear, not letting her respond before biting into her shoulder once more.

More electric pulses were sent through her piercings, nearly making her scream while gripping the hand over hers. The orgasm she felt then was strong, traveling through her body in waves and overstimulation as the pulses continued. The feeling was amplified as he kept moving for a few seconds, finally pressing her roughly against the table with a loud, wavering growl and swear as he came as well. She let out another gasping moan as she felt him twitch inside of her, shuddering with the light warmth she felt at the pit of her stomach.

The room was filled with the sound of their panting and deep breaths as their rode their highs, and Emelia finally relaxed against the table with a shaky, satisfied sigh while still panting. She felt... good. Great, actually... Very sore now, as well as numb, but good nonetheless. It was as if any frustration she felt had melted away with the thin layer of sweat on her body. She gave a quiet whimper as she felt Heisenberg shift somewhat. He removed his jaws from her shoulder, nudging her head and pressing his cheek against hers as his grip on her loosened to allow her to relax more.

"Are you alright, Emmy?" He asked quietly, his voice low and catching her off guard enough to flinch. She only made a small, confused noise as she glanced over. He chuckled, catching a glimpse of the residual pleasured tears that stained her cheek. He reached over, dragging his thumb over her skin to wipe them away. "Is that a yes?"

She kept her eye on him for a moment before giving a small nod and setting her head back on the table. She attempted to shift, but found her body was... unable to move. The numbness had begun to turn into the feeling of being a puddle, she found. Her muscles shook as she tried to push herself up, and she almost collapsed under him. He nearly laughed while kept his grip on her waist, keeping her upright while he watched in interest.

"Would you like some help?"

"N... N-No, I..." she tried, her voice quiet. There was silence for a moment before she gave a shaky sigh, putting her head down once more in defeat. "... y-yes..."

"I thought so." He chuckled, finally pulling himself away with a quiet grunt. She could hear the amusement in his voice. "Alright. Keep steady, now."

Emelia glanced back as he partially adjusted himself, not bothering to fully fix his pants before he let go of her waist. A small panic entered her chest as her legs began to collapse under her, barely able to use the table to keep herself up before she felt him at her side. Her body shook as she tried to lean up once more, reaching to hold on to Heisenbergs arm as he draped it across her shoulders. He didn't even flinch as she leaned her full weight on him, and he chuckled.

"Come on, then." He said, suddenly leaning down once she was fully off the table. She let out a surprised yelp as he swept his other arm behind her knees, bringing her up into a cradling position against his chest as she held onto him tightly. She tightened her grip more as he started to walk, her face red. "Something wrong?" He asked, amusement thick in his voice. She watched his movements, only somewhat relaxing as they neared the bed.

"N-No..." she replied quietly, slowly easing herself in a sitting position the tattered covers as he set her down, wincing again at the soreness she felt. While the fabrics weren't always the best for relaxing, right now they were comforting, and a godsend for her shaking muscles. She then jumped as he sat down himself before he laid beside her with a huff. She stared at him for a moment as he held his arm out for her. What was he doing...?

"Well?" He asked expectantly, raising a brow as she looked confused.

"... what?"

He rolled his eyes.

"You're wearing my shirt Emmy, the least you could do is lay down."

"What-" she started, only to look down. "O-Oh... um..." She had admittedly forgotten what she had been wearing, and sheepishly pulled the shirt over her now throbbing shoulders and neck. She then adjusted herself on the mattress with a quiet grunt. "Ok..."

"NOW you're embarrassed??" He asked, nudging her arm slightly. "Should I describe, in detail, what I just did to you?"

She glared at him and gave a small huff as she managed to lay down.

"Shut up..." she mumbled, somewhat begrudgingly cuddling onto his chest as he smirked.

"It was an honest question."

Emelia only grumbled in response, though relaxed as she felt his arm go around her. She adjusted her head on his chest, pausing as she felt a heartbeat. It was slow and rhythmic, lulling her into a relaxed breathing pattern. He glanced at her as her arm wrapped over his chest as well, though he froze as she mindlessly began to trace over some of the smaller scars over his skin. She watched her own fingers move, an amused smile creeping on her face as she felt him tense and relax at her touch. She tilted her head slightly as she heard a light grumbling from his chest, her fingers pausing. He shifted under her, and she looked up to meet his eyes.

"What...?" She asked, resuming the movements. She watched as his eyes traveled between her and her fingers multiple times, his breathing easy with small grumbles in each inhale.

"Nothing." He replied simply, only to lift his chin slightly in confusion as she moved her hand to the scar across his neck. She felt his breath hitch as she traced it, and he looked at her again. "What are you doing, Emmy?"

"Nothing." She copied, almost laughing as he rolled his eyes.

"Don't get soft on me now Emelia, just earlier you were threatening me." He snorted.

"I still can if you would rather that."

"Hm. No, I'd rather fuck you again."

She went silent for a moment, her face heating up once more with embarrassment. "You said you wouldn't break me." She huffed.

Heisenberg gave a chuckle before turning to face her, gaining a smirk when she looked at him in surprise.

"I won't. I can't, actually." He said matter-of-factly, suddenly pushing her shoulder to have her lay on her back. She jumped, staring up at him in a stunned silence. "That doesn't mean I can't try. I haven't had that much fun in years, and I know you're durable. So am I."

"I-I can tell..." Emelia managed, clearing her throat slightly. Well, she knew he had a point... Despite being sore, she still felt oddly energized... Sure, the light exhaustion was there, but she knew she would have gone back to work immediately if she were physically able to. And she had to admit... She enjoyed this. It felt... normal. Almost.

She kept her eye on him for a moment before taking a breath. Was she really debating on this? The reality of the current situation hit her full force like Sturm on a rampage. She was silent for another moment before gulping slightly.

"What... What is... 'this' , exactly...?" she asked, her voice quiet. Karl drew back slightly, caught off guard by the question.

"Excuse me...??"

"I... You... You piss me off, Heisenberg..." she started, her arms resting at the sides of her head. Each movement of her shoulders resulted in a dull pain from his teeth, and his mouth twitched as he realized. She paused as she saw the smallest... tiniest twinge of regret in his eyes. But she shook her head, looking down at herself.

"I don't... I've been here for... only a short time compared to you, Karl... And now I... We do... THIS..." she continued, looking back up at him as he held his place over her. "What are we doing...?"

It was his turn to stay silent, obviously contemplating his answer. She had seen the same look on his face when discussing important factory matters... It almost made her feel better.

"What do you want from it?" He asked finally, tilting his head with a light shrug. She blinked.

"... What?"

He rolled his eyes, giving a small smirk.

"Ah, who's asking the hard questions now?" He played, chuckling as she glared at him. "I don't quite care what this leads to, I know what my goals are." He explained. "What are yours? What do YOU want out of it?"

"I..." she started, looking to the side. "... I don't know."

"Then don't worry about it!"

"But I-"

"Look, Emelia. If you can't figure it out, then focus on something else. Is it really worth wasting the energy if you don't know right away?" He asked.

She was silent. He... He was right.

"That... That's the most intelligent thing I've ever heard you say."

She nearly laughed at his insulted expression.

"Hey-"

"I'm joking, Metalhead..." She sighed with a small smile. There was silence for a moment before she finally gave a huff. "Just... For now just..."

"Come on, we don't have all day." Heisenberg joked, smirking as she glared at him.

"... Shut up you daft idiot." She growled finally, reaching to yank him down by his necklaces.

The movement startled him, but he seemed to know exactly what to do as his lips met hers with a light chuckle. The kiss was... gentle, oddly enough, but she relaxed once more under him. Light shivers traveled up her spine as she felt his fingers travel along her skin. The shirt was fully unbuttoned once again and nudged to her sides, and she took a deep breath as she felt the air on her chest. She only whined as her legs were moved, making him pause. There was a soreness between them from his roughness beforehand, sending small waves of a low, pulsing pain through her body. He gave a questioning hum against her lips, and she spoke against his.

"Sore..." she admitted quietly, feeling his amused smile.

"Good." He replied simply, adjusting himself and his pants to rest between her thighs. Emelia let out a quiet whimper as she was rubbed against, her legs shaking against his hips and her arms reaching out to his onto and wrap around his shoulders.

The dull throbbing sensation continued as he pushed into her once more, earning a somewhat pained whine as her back arched. It hurt... But the feeling lessened to a light sting after a few seconds, and she took lighter breaths. She couldn't help but wonder as he stayed still, his words and question playing in her mind as he returned to his position of leaning on his forearms over her. What DID she want from this...? Did she truly wish for any sort of stability from this? Or just survival? Maybe this was the first and last time she'd experience this, or maybe it would be regular. Did she WANT it to be regular, though? She didn't know... All she knew was that his touch swung wildly between rough and gentle every time he touched her, even before this. He always switched between harsher interactions and kind ones, making her angry and thankful at the same time. And yet, when he touched her NOW... Even while over the table, it was almost careful, hesitant to push her too far even while leaving bruises in her skin. Somehow, while sharing this intimacy, he was a perfect mix of the two. And somehow, it calmed her and even gave a small hope in the back of her mind.

Her thoughts stopped, letting out a breathy moan into the kiss as he started moving, this time at a slow pace. This time she kept her arms around him, hugging him close enough for their bare chests to press against each other. Her breaths and moans came from a different sort of pleasure, almost willing to believe that sharing this with him would allow some sort of normalcy. Her nails dug into his shoulders as he set a careful, hard rhythm, one of his arms moving down to press his hand against her stomach.

A single second passed before Heisenberg sent a low pulse of electricity through her body and piercings, causing her back to arch as she pulled away from the kiss with a gasping whine. She felt as he lowered his head with a low groan, starting to kiss and nibble along her jaw. Her nails dug into his back as his movements increased somewhat, creating more scratches to match the ones he already had. Her voice came out in quiet whines and moans into his ear as she clung to him. Sure this was making the soreness worse, but she almost couldn't tell between the low pulses and thrusts coming from the man. Her body shook while simultaneously encouraging more. She WANTED more... She already admitted as much to herself. Another whine escaped her lips as he nibbled just below her ear.

"Fuck, Emmy...~" he nearly purred into her ear, lifting her hips slightly and switching to smaller quick thrusts.

"K-... K-Karl-! F-FUCK-" she managed, her voice breaking somewhat as she allowed her legs to loosen at his sides to bring him closer. She whimpered as he suddenly leaned up, her nails digging and sliding down to his biceps before gripping them as she felt a familiar tightness below her belly; he could feel it, too.

Emelia suddenly held her breath in a surprised, wavering gasp as he slid his hand up her body from the belly piercing, his fingers dragging along the large scar on her chest before lingering and pressing against the sides of her neck. Her whines and moans continued, even as his hand moved higher to her jaw. She then jumped as his thumb pushed past her parted lips, resting on her tongue. She attempted to look up at him, but found it difficult to even keep her eye open... Heisenberg gave a low chuckle at the sight, pushing on her jaw slightly. He didn't even have to say a word as her mouth nearly closed around his thumb. Her whines and whimpers grew louder and her grip on him tightened, and she could only gasp as he pulled his thumb from her mouth and replaced it with his own.

The kiss was returned instantaneously, followed by her wavering, now muffled cry as she finally came once more. He grunted into the kiss as she tightened around him, her legs wrapping around his waist once more while her back arched. She wrapped her arms fully around his shoulders with overstimulated whines as his pace quickened before he finally let out his own wavering moan against her lips. She joined him with her own moan as he shoved his hips against hers, feeling the warmth enter her as he rode out his own orgasm with shaking muscles. God, it felt... It felt good... The warmth and twitching from him kept her whines going as they panted, her body shaking under him.

Both were silent for several moments, the kiss lessening to gentle movements before breaking.

"D-... D-Damn..." Emelia nearly squeaked, her head rolling to the side as her jaw was nuzzled.

"Hm. Are you alright?" Heisenberg asked, earning a small nod.

"... gonna be sore..." she replied quietly, relaxing somewhat as he kept his face against hers. He chuckled.

"You wanted it."

"Shush..." she huffed. Her breathing eased, feeling his smile against her skin. This was... Nice, she had to admit... An uncomfortable whine left her lips as he began to push himself up and away, only pausing as her legs twitched around him to keep him there. "N-No... stay..." she whined, watching as he raised a brow. "... P-Please..."

"I've never heard you say 'please' this much." He joked, earning a light glare. But he simply returned to his place over her with an amused chuckle, nearly laying on her.

She was relaxed despite nearly his entire weight on her torso, though she had no issues. He was really warm... She could almost purr with the warmth both on top of and inside her, the feeling relaxing her to the point of her limbs going lax around him. She felt him chuckle against her skin, taking a breath as his lips found her bruised neck. But her mind wandered elsewhere, and she found herself pressing her cheek to his.

"Can we... Not talk about this...?" She asked quietly, earning a confused hum as he glanced at her.

"Oh? What do you mean?"

"J-Just... Um..." she tried, turning her head to look at him. "M-Maybe this could be... just... stress relief...?"

She jumped as Heisenberg shifted, his face now hovering over hers with their noses together.

"Just stress relief?" He asked, amusement dancing in his eyes as her face reddened. "Is that what you want?"

She simply nodded, her fingers traveling over small scars that covered his upper back and shoulders. 'For now...' she thought. Wait, 'for now'...?? Did she really mean that...? She was pulled out of her thoughts as he pressed a quick kiss to her forehead.

"Then so be it." Heisenberg said simply, meeting her gaze. She stared up at him before nodding and taking a breath. But he moved before she had a chance to even think, wrapping his arm around her waist. "Hold on."

"What-" she tried, only to cling to him with a surprised yelp as he pushed against the mattress to lean up with her against his chest. She let out a light whine as she was shifted on him, small sparks shooting up her spine as she was settled against his hips while he sat and leaned back against the wall. He couldn't help but smirk as she let out a whimper, her legs twitching. "Better?"

"I..." she tried, though couldn't manage words as she felt him shift against her to make himself comfortable. So she simply nodded before leaning against his chest.

It was his turn to freeze as she nuzzled to his neck, giving a pleased sigh as his arms hesitantly went around her waist. She relaxed against him, enjoying the warmth he gave and the feeling of his arms around her.

"... You're warm..." she said quietly, earning a surprised chuckle.

"I would almost hope so." He replied, reaching up and under the shirt she still wore to drag his fingers along small scars on her back. He smiled as she relaxed. "I'm going to assume you're not moving any time soon?"

He nearly laughed as she nodded against his shoulder.

"Fair assumption..." she mumbled, closing her eye.

While she wasn't necessarily tired, there was a sliver of exhaustion in her chest. She had to admit, there was still pain from the bite marks that now covered her neck and shoulders, and the soreness of her legs came as a dull throbbing. But she oddly didn't mind... She held her breath as she realized her enjoyment of this. The touches, the intimacy... Even the dull pains she felt. Maybe she didn't even mind HIM...

No, no... She DID mind him. Did she...? She still found him infuriating... But the way he held her now was... Well, it made her question quite a bit.

She finally sighed, relaxing fully against him. She focused on his touches against her back instead of the thoughts in her mind, willfully ignoring them for once. She'd enjoy what she had for now... Her attention went to the sounds of his heart and distant machinery, letting them lull her into a light sleep. She didn't NEED she sleep at the moment, but to her, it was almost perfect.

She only hoped it would stay that way.

[tsipasce]

Same Difference Ch.16

Her back ached as she hunched over her keyboard, only moving to grab the odd paper and examine it. Straightening up for the first time in hours she glanced at the clock on the wall that read 10:45pm, realizing she'd neglected two out of three meals today. Once Overhaul had left, she decided to catch up on paperwork and hadn't gotten up since, except to go to the bathroom and grab a glass of water. On her visit to the fridge, she was unsurprised to find nothing but water and condiments. Of all the ways to be a normal bachelor, he chooses this one… she bemoaned, trying to formulate a dinner strategy while on house arrest. After a beat, she made a couple calls,confident she'd found a loophole.

An hour or so later, the smell of lemon and herbs filled the kitchen as she checked between dishes. After going through her mental list of recipes, she decided chicken picatta with a side of rice would be easiest while also sating her growing hunger. Smelling the sauce, she grabbed a spoon to gauge if the seasoning was up to snuff. Closing her eyes, she considered the flavor.

"What are you doing?"

"Aggh!" She clutched her chest, almost choking on the sauce. Catching her breath, she shot him a ghastly look before continuing, "I know this is your house and all, but could you please not use the ~hitman stealth~ walk while I'm here?"

"No. You should just be more alert. Now answer my question: what are you doing?"

"Ah, well I know by your sad fridge you may not be familiar with the concept, but this is called 'cooking'." She piped in her best kindergarten teacher voice.

"Do not start with me tonight." He looked genuinely angry as he took a step forward, "Where did you get the ingredients? I specifically asked you not to leave and yo—"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Chill out, Joe Goldberg, I stayed in the box. "

"What?"

"Ugh, if you watched TV like a normal person that would have been a great joke—anyway, what I'm saying is I didn't leave."

"Elaborate."

"Well it's this show about a guy who traps a gi—"

"Dammit I mean about how you got the ingredients without leaving."

"Oh yes, well I texted Kurono to call one of the guys who then called another dude who ordered it on Mostpates who then went back through the chain of communication until it was delivered to the door by one of your subordinates—with whom I had zero contact with—and now here I am. Still very much isolated from the outside world. Happy?"

He paused, his eyes narrowed in suspicion as he towered over her. She deadpanned back until he relented, rolling his eyes and sighing; irritated with her consistent sass, but relieved Nanami was safe. Relieved a valuable ally was uncompromised, he sternly corrected as though to convince himself. Try as he may, the frequency of his little "unprofessional slips" when it came to her kept increasing. He reasoned that introducing her to Pop—the Boss, was simply strategic and necessary as she became more involved in their organization. These faux pas where he'd praise her behind her back to the Boss during their weekly dinners or lapse into these fantasies, he wouldn't dare speak aloud were merely obstacles he'd need to overcome. At some point. She's just an ally. He lied to himself yet again, before addressing her, "Don't do that without informing me first next time."

"Yes s— I mean, you bet." She said nervously clearing her throat before turning back to the stove. She would've continued indulging in her favorite pastime of getting on his nerves, but decided not to after getting a good look at him in the light. He looked tired and her sympathy won out over her need to continue poking the bear. Deciding it would be more sensible to make nice with her new roommate, she took a chance. "You know, I made a lot more than I was expecting if you wan—"

"I don't need anything from you," he reflexively shot back.

"Fine. Suit yourself." she shrugged turning back to the stove. One step forward, fifteen steps back. What do I even expect?

*grooowwwlll*

Her head slowly swiveled to him; her brows raised. She took the sauce off the heat, drizzling the aromatic cream over the steaming rice and herb-crusted chicken. She confidently maintained eye contact for dramatic effect, though she was quite surprised she didn't spill anything. A staring contest ensued, though they both knew the winner was the one who already possessed the literal chicken dinner. "Care to rethink your answer?"

"… If I get food poisoning it'll be your end." He acquiesced.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's just hurry before it gets cold."

They sat down at the table across from each other, setting their places. Forgetting to get utensils, Nanami got back up and headed to the kitchen to retrieve them. "You can start without me, I forgot something," she said with her back turned as she found the drawer she was looking for. Looking at the pans, she decided it would be much less of a pain to put them in the sink now instead of after her self-induced food coma. As she reached for the pan, she heard a faint rustling and a hushed "Thanks for the food" coming from the table. She went wide-eyed for a split second at the realization, Well, guess you can't eat through a mask… gulping at the thought of finally seeing his face, she shooed the feelings away as mere curiosity, to no avail. Suddenly it felt too nerve-wracking to turn around as she continued to overthink, her utensils having been found long ago.

"If you leave your plate out any longer, I'm going to throw it away."

"What? That makes zero sen—" she turned to reflexively bicker but stopped short. After seeing someone masked for so long it felt strangely intimate to see his face. He was still facing forward, calmly devouring the meal as she studied his profile, his features catching the warm light above the dining table. Nanami hadn't known what she'd expected to see, but it wasn't this. It might have been less surprising if he had some maniacal countenance or monstrous face, but he just looked… Normal… Normal…and really fucking cute. Shit. Her conflicted look of disgust with herself and fascination with him was promptly misinterpreted as he turned to see why she'd stopped grimaced back at her as she continued her appraisal, finding his full expressions, instead of just eyes, to still be a jarring sight.

"Do you have something to say?"

"N-No, just getting some eating sticks! I mean utensils. Eating. Utensils." She cleared her throat, exuding awkwardness.

"…Right."

Exhaling, she hurriedly made her way back to the table, trying to carry on normally. She began eating, her hunger taking her mind off the previous blunder. Looking up to grab the pitcher of water to refill her glass, she inadvertently caught his gaze. Certain this would be a rare occurrence, she decided if she wanted to gawk, it would have to be now. Today she'd gotten a face and a name, and suddenly he seemed a lot more… human.

"You have a staring problem, and I'm going to fix it in a very unpleasant way if you don't stop."

Nevermind. "Says the guy that's blinked all of 3 times in the past 4 months." She scoffed," I don't have a 'staring problem,' I was just… surprised to see your face is all."

He paused before continuing eating, but she could tell he was still thinking, "… what's surprising about it?"

Now able to fully evaluate his expressions, Nanami could tell he was a mixture of indignant, but curious. I can work with that. "Hm? Oh nothing, nothing at all… Except…" she leaned forward across the table, her eyes heavy-lidded as they travelled from his eyes to his mouth, committing the pleasant features to memory.

He was focused now. "Except?" the word came out softer than intended, as she was close enough for him to catch the scent of lavender, the t-shirt she wore forming an almost dangerously revealing dip as she leaned forward. His jaw clenched as he fought to maintain eye contact, trying not to blatantly appreciate her suggestive positioning. The walls of the room felt as though they were shifting closer together as he waited with bated breath for her answer, or action.

"Except…You have rice on it," she tapped on her own face to show him where, grinning at his look of exasperation as she plopped back down to finish her last bite of food, missing how he briefly deflated. "So, how was it?"

"I don't feel any early signs of food poisoning," he began "but we'll see how the rest of the night goes."

Now feeling the sleepiness beginning to take over, she was too tired to give a quality retort. Sighing, she got up, grabbing her dish as she made her way back to the kitchen to clean up, the day finally catching up to her. She placed her dish in the sink and began searching for the gloves to start washing. Before she could locate them, she heard footsteps behind her.

"Move."

"Really? I share my food and then you insult it—surprise, surprise—and now I can't even clean up in peace" She began, but stopped as she turned to see him, his hands already clad in the yellow latex. His face was expressionless as he moved in her place and began tidying up. Taking it as her cue to leave, she dragged herself to her room to get ready for bed before he called back to her.

"Thank you for the food. It wasn't bad at all." He said, his back still turned as he continued cleaning.

She stopped, a half-smile appearing on her face as she could see he was trying to make nice, though he was obviously still not used to it, "…You're welcome. Hey, Overhaul?"

"Yes?"

"You should get some rest."

"Don't need it. Per our conversation earlier, I have unlimited stamina."

"Sure, but you can't overhaul your mind, now can you?"

"Ok, Dr. Phil." He mocked and her eyes shot wide. Before she could respond he continued, "And no, I will not answer further questions about that reference or how I know it. Goodnight."

Stifling a laugh, she turned to walk back to her room, "Goodnight."

The next week went by without incident and they began to form a routine. At 5:30 they'd get up to get ready for their jog. Nanami could tell she was on schedule by the sound of footsteps and water running next door that mirrored her own. Once finished, they'd convene in the front room, put on their shoes and head outside to stretch. Very few words if any were spoken, but Nanami enjoyed the comfortable silence. At work it was always expected that she'd be overtly personable and chatty, but she knew he had no such expectations. She could zone out and just exist and that was alrigh—

"Ahem", he cleared his throat as he waited expectantly for her to start their morning run. His hands bare for the first time in ages as one of his subordinates ordered the wrong brand, and he swore he'd break into hives if he used them. Both of them were sure they wouldn't need to touch any public surfaces on their run so the rarity of the occasion was dismissed.

"Oops, coming."

Without another word they began, Nanami putting her headphones in. After their third run, he was satisfied that he could handle an ambush as they gathered more intel about the Okamura, and she could indulge in her music while they ran. One of her favorite songs came on and she began stepping to the rhythm as her shoulders started to roll and her head bobbed to the beat, soon after she began mouthing the words.

"Every time I comb my hair

Thoughts of you get in my eyes

You're a sinner, I don't care

I just want your creamy thighs"

All the while she didn't realize her erratic movements and lip-syncing had caught Overhaul's attention as he watched from the corner of his eye. A few months ago, he wouldn't have been able to stomach the thought of sharing his home and free time with someone else without breaking out in hives, but now it felt… comfortable. It was comforting to come home to someone, to work with them and not be annoyed to the point of homicide (for him it was more rare than most), it was comforting knowing that someone was her.

She looked so carefree, so happy in the midst of everything while he felt the weight of the world had made permanent indentions on his shoulders. She didn't fit in this world; she didn't belong here. Or to anyone. The thought crossing his mind bitterly as his inner monologue took a familiar, pessimistic turn. Just looking at her brought that sickening warmth to his chest he coveted but didn't recognize as something he was capable of… that is until a couple of months ago. Now he found it showing up more and more, clouding his judgment. It was distracting. He had an objective and she was an important variable in achieving said objective—nothing more. How dare she make him... feel or even question if he was able to. It was disgusting.

Now able to recognize the feeling of being silently judged by him, Nanami looked up to meet his gaze. "Weren't you just lecturing me the other day about having a 'staring problem'?"

"I'm not staring, I'm just wondering why you're carrying on like this in public."

"Pssh, enjoying music—the great music of the illustrious Prince, nonetheless—is totally grounds for 'carrying on in public.' Being carefree every now and again isn't a sin, you know."

"There are enough frivolous people in the world. Why should I have to indulge them?"

"You call it frivolous; I call it taking happy moments when they come. You should just let people enjoy things and stop being such a stick in the mud. You never know, maybe you'll do something ~*wild*~ like enjoy yourself for once."

"Not all of us have the luxury of being empty-headed and self-indulgent."

At this she stopped running, the words sounding more like a personal attack than broad commentary. "What, so I'm a careless idiot just because I don't brood about my self-induced problems all the time?"

Their similarities began to surface as he took her comment in like fashion, both of them now offended at scenarios they'd created in their own heads. "'Self-induced'? You know nothing about my perceived 'problems' or how they came about. Nothing." His irritation quickly morphed into anger the more he thought about the implication that he'd chosen this life.

"And you don't know anything about my problems either. Just because I choose to be happy every blue moon and my issues usually don't involve me snuffing people out on the regular doesn't mean they aren't also really shitty."

"Oh, so you accidently blow up one kid and now it's a trauma you get to use as a crutch?"

Upon saying this, her posture straightened, and she looked at him evenly, a cold rage emanating from her. "So, you think that's all there is to me? I'm just some spoiled brat who's always had her way and now that I'm exposed to your big, scary reality, my little traumas don't compare? My tender little world is being shattered by the brutality and violence of your 'real' one? If anything is self-indulgent it's your narcissistic assumption that you're sob story is somehow worse than everyone else's" she said, venom dripping from her words.

He hadn't seen her like this before. They say when telling a person's age, that wrinkles and proportions are the best tells. In truth, there's a certain "look" that begins to form over time, one's experiences flash behind their eyes, an amalgamation of memories; they've seen things, their innocence eroding with every visage adding years to even the most verdant skin. As Nanami spoke, he saw an age in her eyes that didn't match her face. There was a certainty in her gaze that only came from seeing the grotesque with one's own eyes and deciding to keep looking. Her words were telling, but her stare was what filled the pages of the novel being written between them. Ever obsessed with purity, he assumed he'd be repulsed by the revelation, but it only made her seem closer. Her presumed naivety that he thought separated them was being chipped away. He wanted to know more, to become closer.

He was entranced as she seemingly riled herself up, "I've been through more than you could ev—" She stopped short, shaking her head as she bit her lip, looking off into the distance at something only she could see.

"What do you mean?" He coaxed her to finish her thought, now hopeful.

"No. I think I've told you enough. You've made your judgment and I'll have to live with the fact that I made a mistake, as will you."

"What? This conversation isn't ov—"

"You don't get to decide that," she snapped. "I'm heading back, and I suggest you take the long way around."

A grave look came across his face at being commanded, "That's not how this works, and you will not cut me off again, or I'll-"

"Or you'll what?" She was back in his face, a familiar defiance in her eyes. If she was poking the bear before, this was an entire stabbing.

"You don't want this." He warned.

"You have no idea what I want."

As things boiled over, they were much too close, a static in the air building between them, fingers pointed as they continued to argue. They were ultimately too close, for no more than a millisecond, but that small error was all it took for the reaction that followed. In that brief moment, they made contact, a blast followed that sent them both flying in opposite directions. Nanami hit one of the walls that lined the streets with a sickening thud. She slumped, unconscious, a stream of red dying her silver hair.

[septemberlikestea]

(1/3) About the fanfic commentary post you reblogged, may I suggest: 'Maybe he's allowed to want a different end.' I don't know if you'll have anything to comment about it but I'm taking this opportunity to just rant about this line because aaaaaaah MY GOD. This line is now engraved in my brain. It has flipped my perspective on the DLC's 2 routes. I used to think of Brumm’s route as an added perspective on the Ritual, more lore and food for thought.

:^) i am always happy to make people sad about these two :^)

i’m glad i could... shed some light on how i view the whole deal with ritual vs banishment? brumm’s deepnest monologue, the grimmkin master and nightmare’s poems and grimm himself all point to the fact that the ritual has one ending. it repeats itself. in the howling cliffs, brumm says ‘this once, i would see the ritual fail’, so either someone going out of their way to stop the ritual from being completed is really, really rare, or maybe brumm is the first person to ever do it. which would be fucked up! it’d be really fucked up!!! he cares about grimm so much!!!!!!!!!

you see, i am very weak for characters challenging fate because they love someone so much that they do things that are just... almost impossible?? and then succeeding??? because their love is just that strong???? against all odds..... aa. aaaaaa. AAAAAAA. 

you see..... it’s like......... brumm tries to write a new ending for grimm............. just like.......... in music.......... there’s this term........... called volta........ and it’s used with a reprise......... so after repeating the whole song or a part of it.................. instead of playing the prima volta aka the first ending.......... you......... play the seconda volta............ and it’s a different ending of that part.............................. or something like that, idk, i dropped out of music school................................... yea............................................................

anyway. i appreciate that you enjoyed that line :) i think furthest reaches was just me grabbing words and turning them into arrows and then aiming at people with them.

.......i sure hope people won’t mind me stroking my own ego! i’ll be real, i’m kind of tempted to copy and paste the whole fic here. but i’ll just leave a link because... what if... someone who hasn’t read it sees this. i’m allowed.

It wouldn't surprise him if he no longer counts as a bug, he doesn't often think of himself as such.

A nightmarish version of what he once was, a scared child's desire to not be harmed again.

He doesn't regret it. Whether others say that his form is a kind of deception, it is him. He is himself, just as he was centuries ago.

(At least, he hopes so.)

a person in the comments said that brumm is a once-mortal and that’s. a really good way to put it! 

The freedom the Heart grants to the master of the troupe is merely a reflection of how little it cares, how little it is capable of caring for anything besides its survival, masked as a gift. This conversation they've had many times, too many times, and they never came to a conclusion.

In the end, Brumm doesn't believe it's fair. In the end, Grimm doesn't believe it's unfair.

"You sound tired, my friend. I think we should continue this discussion after you rest," he murmurs with forced confidence. Brumm knows that he is just as tired as him, if not more. Grimm knows he does.

Yet again, he closes his eyes, and they don't talk about it when he wakes.

nightmare heart headcanons! sadness! a tiny flashback! this part has it all. i think despite the unresolved tension and the disagreement on whether or not grimm deserves to get metaphorically thrown under a lawnmower and served at the nightmare heart’s dinner table, grimm cares for brumm just as much as brumm cares for grimm, and grimm is very much aware that thinking and talking about the ritual really upsets them both but especially brumm, but it’s not like there’s anything he can do about it except offer brumm a way to drop the topic entirely, even if brumm is Super Mega Ultra Tired of it and just wants to finally resolve the issue. they’re just two goths that are tangled up in God Shit.

also literally the only reason i did not tag the fic as grimm/brumm is because grimm isn’t actually There alkdhgkldjghsfh. 

Grimm does not deserve a death that results in perpetuation of a cycle that does nothing. No matter how many lives are taken to sew veins, arteries, tissue for the realm, it will forever be incomplete. Grimm's death will mean nothing.

i don’t have much to say about this. it just hurts me. but also there’s my nightmare realm headcanon(s)! wooooo.

Far away from his master, who is sleeping for the last time in his life, who will never see his child again, hiding in a someone's abandoned home, now full of corpses, Brumm lets himself be angry not at himself for already missing him, but at the cruelty of the burden laid upon them all by persistent remains of a god.

i don’t know what possessed me to write this. i think i was crying when writing this line. the part about grimm hits me hard every goddamn time, then the part about brumm just kicks me while i’m on the ground. i’m mean to everyone, including myself.

also i think the summary is quite good bc Deepnest Rights.. thanks for reading this and fuck hallownest xoxo!

[shawnpetermuffins]

Too Close to You

' @luke-skywalkin : so I’m currently obsessed with jealous needy shawn sooo can u write one🥺'

Warnings: swearing, slight angst, mentions of smut

A/n: I got a little carried away with this, I think. But I kinda like it. I've also never written a full jealous!shawn so I hope this is okay.

Summary: Shawn thinks his friends like you a little too much and he's not handling it well.

Requested: yes.

***

I love to hang out with Shawn and his friends. Ever since Shawn introduced me to them, I'd felt like part of the group. We all have inside jokes with each other, and when Shawn is out on tour and I can't be there with him, the guys always invite me to go out with them. Of course I agree, because let's face it, they need a wing-woman, because they have a difficult time getting girls for themselves.

So, yes, we're close. Which is why it doesn't bother me when Jon pulls me into his lap while we're at Brian's, all of us just drinking and having a good time. Just like it doesn't bother me that he's tickling my sides or playing with my hair. In fact, I lean into him because it feels nice, and with two cups of whatever strong, alcoholic concoction Matt had cooked up, it's not like I was in any position to sit straight for long periods of time.

Shawn's standing in the doorway, staring at me, and in my sober state, I would be able to tell that he's standing way too straight and that his jaw is clenched in that way it does when he's angry. But tipsy me does nothing about it, only takes the cup from Jon's hand and sips it.

“God, I need to get laid,” Brian exclaimed, plopping down next to us and pulling my feet into his lap.

“That's not all life is about, you know. Why don't you look for something real. Someone smart, and funny, and beautiful,” Shawn said, sitting on the coffee table in front of us. He's nursing the bottle of water in his hands - deciding that if I'm drinking tonight, he wouldn't be.

“Easy for you to say when you literally just described your girlfriend,” Matt said from the arm rest next to my head. “You seriously got the hottest, smartest, funniest woman on earth. What's even the point in the rest of us looking?”

My cheeks flush red and I let out a soft “Awwwe! Matty, that was so sweet!” I take a hold of his arm and he looks down at me. “C’mere.”

He leans down and I press the softest, quickest kiss to his lips before pulling away. Neither of us think anything of it. Shawn does, that's apparent in the way he crosses his arms over his chest, and sharply inhales through his nose.

“Okay, I need another drink. Let me up guys,” I pat Jon's chest and Brian swings my legs to the ground for me. I steady myself, both Matt and Shawn holding their arms out for me to grab. I stumble lightly into kitchen to fill up my cup. I'm in there a couple minutes, listening to the music that's now muffled - still loud, of course. But muffled, nonetheless.

I'm about to go back to sit with Jon when a tug on my arm pulls me in the opposite direction. Shawn's head rests against my stomach and my hand very instinctively goes to his hair. He hums, his hands resting on the pockets of my super skinny jeans. I swat at his hands when he kneads the covered flesh.

“Shawn, we're in public.”

“We're in Brian's living room. That's hardly considered public.” He's looking up at me, his curls flopping over his forehead, lashes brushing just under his eyebrows and I'm swooning.

But the moment ends much too soon when Brian pulls me back in, this time squished between him and Jon. “Smile!” Matt says, hiding behind Brian's Polaroid.

I close my eyes - knowing just how drunk I'd look if I kept them open - and smile wide, baring my teeth. I feel two sets of lips on me before the flash goes off and when I open my eyes, I see Shawn standing, his ears red, breathing heavy.

I push myself off the couch, best I can and brush my hand against his arm. “Are you okay?”

“Let's get out of here,” He pinches the bridge of his nose.”

“Shawn.”

“Y/n. I'm tired and I want to go. Please,” he says through gritted teeth. The boys aren't paying any attention to us.

I sigh, “Okay.”

The goodbyes are quick, Shawn's hand never leaving my back pocket. I didn't even hug the guys before he was rushing me to the car, faster and little more forcefully than usual. His breathing still hasn't calmed, even after a few blocks.

“Bubs, what's wrong?” I ask when we're nearer to the condo.

“We really need to limit the time we spend with the guys.”

“What? Why?”

He scoffs and looks at me, only for a second before turning back to the road. “They're all over you, for fucks sake.”

“They are not!”

“And you're not doing anything to stop them! You're encouraging it, even!”

“Are you serious right now?” I hiccup, the only clear sign that I've drank a little too much tonight.

“Am I serious?” he's fuming, turning onto our street. “Yes, I'm fucking serious! What was that kiss with Matt? You initiated it!”

“It was less than a second! It didn't mean anything.”

“Well it did to me!” He sets the car in park and is out before I can even say anything back.

I get out of his jeep, rushing after him, “Shawn!”

“Those are my friends, y/n!” He says, opening the door to the condo. “My best friends!” He continues when the door closes behind me. “And they're over here talking about how hot you are and how they wish they had someone like you. And you let them. You let them say those things and you let them touch you and kiss you and it fucking hurts! You're my girlfriend! Mine! And it really doesn't help that you wear those tight jeans, and low cut shirts because you're leaving very little to the imagination. They shouldn't get to see that.”

“You’re getting jealous over nothing. They don't get to have me, Shawn! You do!”

“Then why don't you act like it?! I'm never here, y/n! I'm never fucking here. But they are!” He gestures like they're in the next room. “They get to see you every day. Hold you when a guy gets too close, even though they're too close.”

“Bub-”

“How would you like it if I did that with my girl friends? Kissed Camila when she said something sweet? Let Alessia hug up on me while we're in the green room?”

I cross my arms over my chest, hating the fact that he thinks that would upset me. "I think your fans would have a bigger problem with it than I would."

He rolls his eyes, "What's that supposed to mean?"

"That I don't have millions of fans watching my every move. You so much as look at another girl and there's twenty articles up that you're cheating on me. That we broke up. That our relationship was a sham. Your fans would believe it and quite possibly murder you before I even open Instagram to see how you've broken the internet this time."

He sighs.

"I don't get jealous, Shawn. You know that. And you've reassured me every time you leave that you love me and only me and I believe you. So I need you to believe me when I tell you that there's nothing going on with me or any of the guys. We're comfortable with each other. They protect me when you're not here. They're not trying to get with me when we go out to the bar; they stay near me and make sure no one else tries making a move. They do it because they know you would hate yourself if something happened while you were gone. There's no reason for you to ever thing that I would leave you, and for one of your best friends, no less! So whatever jealousy you're harboring right now needs to go. Because I'm tired and this fight is fucking stupid and I'm going to bed." I push past him and into our shared bedroom.

---

Dressed in my pajamas, I lay on my side, eyes closed, but not sleeping. I hear Shawn sigh as he walks in the room, my back is towards him when I feel the bed dip on his side. I think he's going to reach for me after he's situated under the covers, but he doesn't and my heart breaks a little.

Sleep doesn't come easy, or at all, actually. I'm staring at the alarm clock that Shawn insisted on putting across the room so that we'd have no choice but to get up when it went off, and it reads 2:07. We've been in bed like this for three hours. And I know he's not asleep because he's not doing that little snore that he does when he sleeps on his back.

At 2:28, when my eyes are just now becoming too heavy to keep open, he shifts onto his side and his arm sprawls across my waist. "Baby," he whispers into my shoulder, placing a gentle kiss on the covered skin. It takes everything in my not to melt into him right then and there. "I know you're not asleep."

I sigh and shift until I'm facing him. "What?"

"I'm sorry," he says, his thumb rubbing against my jaw. "I'm an idiot."

"Yeah, kinda." I agree.

He chuckles and I know we're okay. "I know I don't have to be jealous. But hearing Matt say what I already know, it did something to me. Because you are the hottest," he kisses my forehead, "smartest," my nose, "funniest," my lips, "Girlfriend in the world. And if he's noticed, then other guys have too and the thought of another guy wanting you drives me crazy."

"But I don't want them," I try and reason.

"I know. I know you don't. But do you see where I'm coming from? They're here. They're stable... I can't lose you, baby."

"Hey," I reach out to touch his face. "We are stable. Bub, I am not going anywhere."

His arms wrap around me with ease and just like that I'm straddling his naked torso, my hands resting his chest and then tangling his necklace between my fingers. "I'm right here. I'm in your hands. You have me."

He nods, his index fingers running over my sides from beneath my shirt. I hum and lean down, kissing his lips, never wanting to pull away. And this went on for what felt like forever, until my back once again hit the plush of our mattress. "I need you," he groans, lips trailing down my neck.

"I'm here," I reassure him, threading my fingers through his hair, clearly not understanding the meaning of his words.

"I need you," he says again, this time pressing his hips against mine. It clicks for me then and I nod.

"Okay baby." I mutter breathlessly because his tongue on the shell of my ear has me weak at the knees.

He takes his time with me. Kissing every inch of my body, clothed and unclothed. His touch is so soft and gentle that if I wasn't watching him, I'd have thought it wasn't real. And then he finally pushes himself into me, staying steady for a second, allowing me to get used to his size. Looking dwn at us, just out of curiosity, I notice that you can't even tell where I end and he begins. We're one. I'm whole as he thrusts into me slowly.

His thrusts are deep and even and measured. I couldn't even tell him how much I needed him; he left me speechless. He murmurs 'I love you' all over my body, and I wish you could tattoo sounds into your skin because I want to hear that forever. It's overwhelming how much we both need each other in this vulnerable moment. Him worried that I would someday leave him and me trying like hell to get him to believe I won't.

We're rarely ever this careful with each other. It's as if he's scared that going faster, harder will push me to the edge - And not the edge that he wants to bring me so desperately to. He's treating me like I'm fragile, like we're fragile. We're not, and I kiss him a little deeper to prove that we're not. Shawn's panting in my ear with another slow, deep thrust into me and my fingers claw at his back with a strangled moan eliciting my lips. This isnt just sex. We're making love. This is raw and passionate, and everything that making love should be.

***

A/n: this is not how I originally planned on ending this, but I actually think I like it better. There is an alternate ending if you guys want that later on though. 😉

I hope you enjoyed! Like, reblog, and leave feedback!! 💙

[bloodcrosses]

I used to believe I was special, although looking back I don't think i truly believed it. I was bullied by other kids and teachers (I'm glad your sociopathic arse is retired and no other kids have to suffer because of you, Mr S***r), was emotionally abused and worn down by [a parent]. I was told I couldn't be an actress because it cost too much money (they literally worked with a guy in an amdram group ffs, they knew this was bullshit).

I guess I wanted to believe I was special because the characters in my stories were outcasts who came good. I made up stories where that happened to me too. Wishing upon stars.

Of course, real life doesn't give a single shit about saving people. Hell, people don't either most of the time. I was a problem when I reached puberty and got tired of following rules that benefited no one but the tormentors. Primary school was a petting zoo compared to that shithole called A** S****s. Imagine paraying day in, day out. I told my parents (we finally had a phone then, we were literally so poor we couldn't afford a fucking phone till I was 13) who reluctantly agreed to call about it.

I learned later on they never did. They assumed I exaggerated it all since I wasn't wrapped in plaster in the hospital.

I begged to be moved out of the CDT/Home Ec groups away from my main tormentor N**** S****. They refused. I started just skipping school altogether. Nobody was interested in helping, so why should i give a shit about their fucking toothless, useless rules. I went from being a highly thought of kid to a bad kid. Nobody cared why.

Turns out my worst tormentor, NS, left during my rebellion phase because her own friends bullied her over something completely dumb. I hope she learned something. But probably not. I find it hard to believe bullies can truly change. None of them have ever tried to apologise after all (yes, I realise I no longer use my real name most places - because it's triggering to hear it for a whole load of reasons, the bullshit they put me through being a big one) but my LinkedIn in (private, but logged in members should be able to find it) so they can find me if they want me.

Anyway, my mental health team recently referred me for an autism assessment. I'm not a bad person, I'm someone who struggles with social clues, obsessiveness and depression over being unable to fit in a world I cannot understand.

I am relieved, yes. I'm so also angry at all the maltreatment- more so by teachers, since kids are kids and don't have funny developed empathy - who made me feel so worthless.

My "favourite" story about Mr. St**r (I think his first name was Philip. I do know his son was Richard, so hi there, congrats on your dad scarring me for life!) was he decided to hold an all-girls football match. Cool idea. Except this was a small class, and we required substitutes. He deliberately refused to pick his three least favourite girls as subs or players. This was fucking blatant discrimination. I liked playing football. I was an exceptionally good runner.

But that didn't matter. He hated me for being bad at maths (I still have horribly intrusive thoughts about when he screamed at, to mortification myself and my two fellow outcasts). He resented giving me good grades in English. My art was always stuck on the wall where barely anybody could see it (I'm not great at art now, but I'm good enough to get into publications as an artist, a writer and a photograph. So fuck you).

You might say: well you've achieved a lot. Didn't you win in the end?

Well, that's the thing about depression and nuerotypical disorders - depression is manageable, but if autism is accurate...it I'd a little different, you can't "cure" it. I've learnt very well to mask it. Which is common in females. But I will never be rid of it.

And I don't know how long I can take 30 or so more years of never being quite right.

[denniezemclyon]

I have been threading ths lace into my joggers tht ddn't have a rope cord.. I strted ystrday abt 2pm while wearing them cos it kept falling loose but couldn't take it off as I was at Aisha's.. I used a paintbrush to try and push it in but just reached the side and couldn't go further.. So, I gave in and just let it be like tht and hanged it arnd my neck, the unthreaded part, thn went home..

I askd for help but decided to do it myself and askd if someone someone can get me a safety pin.. My request had fallen on deaf ears which made me grumpy and quite nasty and Pau gave me one from the sewing kit..

More thn an hour later I felt tht the garter inside had holes by now bcos of my impatient act of shovin it in but to my efforts, the lace went in half of the trousers by tht time but by only tht far. Also used a pusher from the manicuring set and tried to wriggle it all the way, hoping it would wound the hole and make some space. I wouldn't say I was calm cos I kept giving short intense grunts and sighs of frustration nor focused cos I was wtch all kinds of stuff while singing and distracted by my brother play xbox on my side and my mom and sister wtchn different things loudly on their phones as I was too. But, fuck I was determined. I strted to feel hungry and realised I need now to eat..

I ate and continue the battle, well, my battle within. Few tiny outbursts of rage by yanking the lace aggressively to start over, a second saftey pin later (as the first one got decapitated by said behaviour inside and took some time to carefully take the broken parts of the pin out) and pulled some cotton material, I am fully aware tht I had ripped few parts of the garter. It became a cycle and and somehow along the way I lost the 2nd pin, idk how. Got the idea of using a tweezer and used the same method with the pusher and the tweezer made it out arnd the trouser. I got so excited and was sure it would have work out cos now imma be pulling it with a fuckn tweezer. Three movies later (Lilo 'n Stich 1 and 2 and Stich the movie) my forefinger and thumbs were numb, I'm tired and cranky and sleepy and outraged and fell asleep with my joggers in hand..

While sleeping my rage off on the couch, u heard Lion King was playing and awoken. Attempting to do it in a groggy state u fell bck asleep. My sleeping posture was terrible and felt it and woke up with Coco now plyn on the tv. "I've had enough" I cried inside and just put the whole thing down, gave up and lost hope. Tryn to convince myself to continue it tomorrow unmotivatingly..

Woke at 4am supposedly to retire to my bed but spent it on ig wtchn Aciel videos and got amused by tumblr posts. I stood up and decided to srsly go to bed but thn saw the joggers on my feet. I swooped it once more but feeling a sense of false hope thnkn it wouldn't work out. Aaaand....

I failed. Again.

So, one more attempt. It was almost daybreak, maybe past 5 as I hear trucks outside passing by. I untied the knot at the end of the lace, hooked it with the safety pin, eagerly pushing nd pulling and upon reaching the center, I was so nervous I could feel my heart beat fast. If tht didn't work I'd be angry with myself and feel awful. I struggled in the middle bit but without the knot, it fittingly slid thru and on tht point I was filled my unexplainable euphoria. I ddn't want to jinx it so I halted the celebration and continued to thread the lace..

Just a couple mins later and with one last push and it was finally out! I yelled out in joy. Woke my mom up and shared ths unfiltered and foolishly pure happiness of my tiny accomplishment. I was literally feeling tears tryin to seep through my eyes..

Now I'm in bed, still high, writing my little ment with an utter sense of excitement and maybe a bit of exaggeration, it is now 7am.. Reflecting. The last method I had thought of it somewhere along the way, but brushed it aside, blinded by sheer passion to do it some unique way and much I'd like to admit maybe pride. But tht simple solution tht had alrdy crossed me and would take what? 5-10mins, tht I couldn't try, maybe wouldn't (at the time) was the endgame. It is Endgame..

Why do I do tht? I don't whn I've done it but I'm so sure in my bones I've done it countless of times. I'm concerned how it is still present. How I'm still doin it evn with the little things. That habit of mine tht I find horribly upsetting. By writing it down, I could only ever hope tht I learn and change tht. So yeah.. What a rant..

Still. I got defeated by it few times but tried again. No matter how small or silly or stupid it may be. Ths is something tht matters. Ths is something I've conquered. Ths is something mine.

I can fuckn rest now.. Oh, and I've decided not to remove the pin.. Goodmorning 🧡

[frogsandfries]

Here's a truth conservatives and corporate bigtards should know

Major secret. Ground-breaking. Unparalleled,

If you pay your people, rather than dragging themselves to work because they literally cannot afford to miss a day, they'll show up cheerfully. They'll fucking stay!!

The ONLY thing(s?) keeping me at my job: I literally cannot afford to quit. I literally cannot afford to get a second job. I literally cannot afford to miss a single shift. Only getting thirty hours most weeks is hurting me. Only working four shifts even on occasional weeks hurts me.

And I don't even have to pay a real rent. My friend is hurting me by asking for two hundred a month, but I'm mostly angry about that because she's doing what I deem frivolous shit that causes her to need me to pitch in, which hurts me financially in getting my shit put together.

I'm frustrated and angry and I feel stuck. Every time I leave one situation to try desperately to get into a better situation, the new situation ends up being somehow progressively worse, and worse. I can't tell you how frustrated I am. I should've fucking stayed. I should've put my foot down. His parents were on MY side. I knew he wasn't going to continue communicating with me anyway, one way or another. I should've put my fucking foot down and said, no. I'm choosing money and I'm going to take your parents up on driving lessons and I'm going to get my fucking license here.

If I had to pay a real rent, three or five or seven hundred dollars a month, I would just entirely give up any hope of finishing my degree. But if I actually had to pay rent here in Wisconsin, I would just move straight back to Oregon. I'll fucking figure out how to get my license from there.

The more I have to think about how I feel pressure to go to work, not that I want to go to work because my paycheck will be amazing, the more pissed off I get. I used to enjoy going to work because I genuinely loved my job. I used to genuinely enjoy my customers. My checks were pretty awesome.

If I had the choice, I would only work weekends where I work now because that's where the money is. That would free me up for a second job, one that might actually fucking pay me. Y'know, during the week. I could stay at the company that promises that I'll move up the ranks with ample training, and go to a company that might just move me on merit.........

At the same time, I want to find something else because it's too stressful to get paid so little, even if the work is pretty easy. I miss being able to be in charge, be like, sure, I'll give you a deal on that item. I'm sorry about this or that, here's a deal for your trouble.

I'm sick and fucking goddamned tired of feeling like I'm running on a hamster wheel and I'll just never get off of it. Sure, this hamster wheel is bigger, but it's just as strangulating as the last one.

I can't outright quit this job. Even for one that pays better. Even for one that won't make a joke out of reaching management one way or another. I have to stay with it at least until I've stayed at least six months.

I have to find a way to squeeze more work hours into my week. Next week, I have Tuesday off. Maybe it's time to at least try looking for a second job. I have my eye on two places. One I haven't even bothered applying, but tonight, I'm going to apply and update my other application. This tight-ass, tight-fisted, anal-retentive bullshit is already old. It'd be cool to be like, yeah I have all this management training, but it'd be even cooler to say, yeah, I actually was a manager and I got paid for it.

I cannot just bounce every time something happens that I can't stand.

I can't just stay because my time is running short and I can't afford to be literally without a paycheck. I can't just stay because it's starting to look bad that I can't stay at a job. But I also actually cannot stay because I'm literally barely getting paid. I can, however, make strides toward taking on a second job. Otherwise, I'll probably just actually never get my license, nor a vehicle, because I'll just have no money at all from struggling to survive.

Once I score said second job, from there, I can suss out the finer details, when and where and how. But if it doesn't pay more per hour, it's not going to be worth it.

The point here is: If I was actually getting paid, I wouldn't be looking for a better paying job. I wouldn't be looking for a second job. But I think I've figured out why this company is moving south. They can pay their workers less if they move into tiny towns with fewer job opportunities. Not to mention, I bet a bunch of these states have garbageass minimum wages. Oh ha ha ha ha I'm making TWO WHOLE DOLLARS AND SIXTY CENTS MORE THAN MINIMUM WAGE SUCH GOOD MANY MONIES HA HA HA HA HA HA

I don't stay because it feels like a choice. I stay because it's a job. It's more consistent hours than I was getting. It pays better than the last place, for less responsibility, but it still pays less than my favorite recent employment.

The rules are painfully conservative. The dress code is ridiculous. It doesn't pay for all the demands that it makes. It's increasingly difficult to justify staying or putting all of my available working hours into this one place. Admittedly, part of this is that, going into this, I thought it would actually be better. My friend was getting paid more at her job. I was getting better hours at my job. I thought this meant that I could squirrel away that two hundred that I'm giving her each month, on top of the usually hundred bucks I stash away most paychecks. That is not what happened. I don't get to daydream about the job training I'll get after college, after I've proven I really can hold down a job and be worth the investment of fully training. I'm too busy trying desperately to grasp as many dollars as I possibly can before opportunities slip me by again. I'm just too stressed. I'm very sick. Seriously sick. And that illness is rooted in having to live in a cold climate, having absolutely no way to get even the clunkiest of junkers to drive to work, because I'm just not making money in the first place and I have to contribute in the household. I'm not making money because I can't fucking get to work. It's a beautiful cycle of entrapment. It's magnified by getting paid basically minimum wage. Barely getting paid at all.

So I'm physically stressed by chronic asthma inflammation. I'm emotionally stressed because my window to make progress is closing quickly. I'm emotionally stressed because I absolutely cannot afford to miss an hour of work. I'm emotionally stressed because I'm hardly getting paid and my window is closing. I know I set the goals high, but I can't stay in this state. My physical health cannot handle it. Honestly, I think I've been realizing, I wasn't going to stay when they didn't hire me into the management training, and when I realized the place I need to be is somewhere this company is not. They aren't paying me. I'm going to be trapped somewhere that is killing me to live. They are not contributing to me moving my life forward. This is a source of massive stress to me. Plus, they are kind of blocking me out from looking elsewhere, adding on a second job because they take up just a little too much of my time, but not enough to be worth it.

I'm going in circles. Like I have been since I stupidly moved back to this worthless state.