#i am still playing it but since I finished the main story I figured I should go ahead and post the review

[heartsforhavik]

yandere kung lao I’m begginf,,,,

self aware! yandere kung lao x reader pt.1

warnings: mk1 story mode spoilers, obsessiveness, gender neutral reader, ooc kung lao, self aware kung lao

summary: kung lao is aware he is in a video game, and he just loves you so much. he just wishes he didn’t have to be behind a screen.

a/n: anon im so sorry it took me a bit to get to this, anyways i decided to mix it up and make kung lao self aware bc i thought my yandere hcs were getting too repetitive and i am also a diehard SAGAU fan. (also sorry for my mini break, finals week is crazy man.)

part 2

- kung lao *hated* being stuck behind a screen. behind a stupid wall. away from you.

- you were just a regular mortal kombat fan. when mortal kombat 1 was announced, you were just so excited to get your hands on the game.

- you watched playthroughs before you could buy the game, and you were so happy when you found out that you could play as kung lao in the first chapter of story mode.

- when you got your hands on the game, you noticed that every time he had a funny one-liner in the story mode, he would look at the camera and wink. that’s weird… he didn’t do that in the playthroughs you watched… but oh well, it’s probably nothing.

- in the final battle you even chose to play as kung lao out of all the fighters. he was surprisingly easy to use, and his moves seemed to hit even harder than usual and the fights would be over in a blink of an eye. maybe he was buffed just for the fights?

- and when you finished the story mode and checked out all the skins and rewards you got, you noticed that you somehow had all of kung lao’s stuff unlocked. all of his palettes, skins, brutalities, etc. everything. you owned all of it. even the ones that weren’t out yet.

- you thought it was just a glitch, so you shut your device down and restarted it. but when you opened it again, his stuff was still there.

- and it got even weirder. when you tried to practice, the game only let you use kung lao. for some reason, you couldn’t use any other fighter. you couldn’t even use any kameo other than kung lao.

- he was still your favorite character and all, but that was weird. you tried to exit out of the game and restart it again, but it wouldn’t shut down. the game stayed on. it was frozen on kung lao. and he seemed to just stare at you. as if he knew you were there.

- you were starting to get creeped out, so you completely powered off your device and decided to leave it disconnected overnight.

- but over that little period of time, even though it was only a few hours to you, it felt like an eternity for kung lao.

- he felt hurt. a bit betrayed, even. did you not like him anymore? was he not enough for you? he gave you everything he could. he did everything he could to show his love for you, since he cannot communicate any other way.

- without you playing the game, he felt nothing. he couldn’t feel your warmth. it was nothing but a cold, dark space. he needed you. he needed you to always be with him. even if he couldn’t communicate with you, he’d figure something out.

- that’s why he was changing the coding of the game. he had to always be on your screen, or at least give you hints that he was self aware. he wouldn’t know what to do with himself if you weren’t looking at him. if you weren’t using him all the time.

- what do you mean you want to main johnny cage? or raiden? or even syzoth? what do they have that kung lao doesn’t?

- you liked the powerful fighters? no worries, he can just nerf everyone else and completely manipulate the coding of the game so he has the best damage.

- you thought the other fighters were more attractive than him? he’ll change the game so their designs were ruined and less pleasing to your eye.

- he would mend himself to your liking. he just needed you to use him. please make him feel important and useful. make him feel worthy of being your main. your favorite.

- if anyone became your favorite instead of him, he would go ballistic. he would rethink his entire existence. he’s so strong, and funny, and easy to use. so why would you choose anyone else? what’s wrong with him? is he not enough for you?

- if kung lao found out you wanted to start using a different fighter, he would erase them from the game. they would be nowhere to be found. their image in the game would be warped into a bunch of blurry pixels.

- if he has to erase the entire kast of fighters, he will. he needs your love. he needs your attention. if he isn’t your favorite, then what is the point of his existence in the game?

- kung lao needs you. and you need him too. why can’t you see that? he’s done everything he could to gain your approval. he was already so great, but he changed himself for you. accept him. please.

- the last thing he would resort to is bringing you in the game with him. what better way to stay by your side, than force you into the world of mortal kombat?

- at first, he didn’t exactly like the thought of taking away your freedom, but the more he thought about it the more he craved your company. why stay behind your screen when he can just bring you with him? now, you don’t have to turn your device on and off! he’s not going anywhere. and you aren’t either.

[absolutebl]

I Cannot Reach You - Kimi ni wa Todokanai REVIEWED

This image perfectly captures how I feel about this show. You ready? I wasn't.

I Cannot Reach You

AKA I Can't Reach You AKA Kimi ni wa Todokanai

Japan 2023 - 8 eps 20 ea approx 2.5 hours

Themes, main tropes & archetypes: friends to lovers, tsundere/sunshine, self acceptance, self worth, high school BL, live action yaoi, soft romance, kindness

Rating? 10/10

Yeah, it happened again in 2023.

Adapted from a manga.

The moment I finished binging this show I was thinking about writing about it and re-watching it. This is a sure sign that I adored a piece of media. 

This is a wonderful BL.

Truly well executed, with smooth filming and lovely acting, both of a simplistic style that felt slightly more Korean than it did Japanese. It reminded me a little bit of Seven Days and a little bit of Takara and Amagi, and since these are my two favorite high school JBLs obviously I was bound to adore ICRY.

But what it reminded me of more than anything was Cherry Blossoms After Winter.

Odd for JBL and KBL to be so closely linked. 

Like CBAW show, ICRY is classic live action yaoi.

Like the MOST classic of CLASSIC.

All the JBL tropes. I mean look at that image above? It's rooftop assignation, kabedon, and a handhold ALL AT ONCE.

There was also multiple runnings of the gays, surprise kisses (one on a bridge), and shoulder leans.

There is even a “seme looses control to desire” scene which leads to dub con. There is an abject apology after but still - you’ve been warned. 

The premise is: smart sporty hot (and hella gay) Yamato has a long standing crush on his silly sunshine sweetheart bestie, Kakeru. Yamato is also stiff, self isolated, shy, and has only ever really managed to get along with Kakeru. I love this kind of pining seme so damn much, it probably biased me. 

Unlike most uke, Kakeru starts to slowly figure out that his best friend is in love with him by ep 2 (let the chaos bisexual identity crisis commence).

So do some of the friends around them.

The story thus revolves around Yamato trying to unsuccessfully suppress his desire, and Kakeru trying to figure out if he can return Yamato‘s affection.

This biggest barrier is actually Kakeru's feelings of inadequacy and unworthiness (when compared to Yamato). But this is tempered by his genuine kindness which forces him into act with integrity around his dear friend's love and strive to fix everything (even himself) to prove worthy of it - whether he can ultimately return it or not.

Kakeru's struggles are pitted against Yamato‘s repressed need that keeps bubbling over and figuratively (sometimes literally) attacking Kakeru with romantic, emotional, and physical intensity. 

Quick pitch:

This classic friends-to-lovers BL is everything Japan does best. Angsty. Emo. Aching. Driven by real thirst. Yamato is deeply in love with his childhood bestie, Kakeru, and has been for ages, unable to hide his ungainly damaging high school need. He wants Kakeru in every way possible and it oozes off of the screen. Kakeru is silly and a little simple, but not frenetic or overly camp about it. He is earnest, and genuinely wants to keep Yamato in his life which means giving a romance (and gayness) a fair chance. We watch him realize his affection and what form it can take in a truly authentic way. This show was impossibly kind to both of its lead characters and I felt almost honored that I got to watch something so lovely and rare play out on my screen.

I’m not gonna lie, I dithered over whether to give this a 10/10 and nearly didn’t. But there is nothing wrong with it AS A BL.

And it's so GOOD to ALL of its characters and they are so good to each other. It's quiet and because of its goodness it will get overlooked, but I LOVED IT.

It's not one of those that BL outsiders will get and you must like Japan's style to enjoy it. But I'm in it. It's for me.

What am I hung up over? Even the kisses are good.

10/10

I CAN'T RECOMMEND IT HIGHLY ENOUGH

Welcome to a very elite club. I gotta change all my best of lists now.

I am sorry to tell you how difficult this show is to get hold of. It deserves a much wider distribution. As of Nov 2023 I do not know where to legally find it internationally with eng subs. Please check the comments for updates.

It's on Netflix in some countries!

Try to find it, you won't regret it.

(source)

[datura-tea]

holy shit this year marks 10 years of this blog and moz!! i can't remember the exact date i started posting here - my archive says i have one post from november 2013 but let's disregard that - but i do remember it was around late 2014/early 2015 :)

^ one of the very first moz art pieces i ever drew, for fallout week 2015!!

memories and art through the years under a read more bc it got long

2014 → baby's first rpg!! i started playing fnv on my cousin's jailbroken xbox late 2013 and finished mid 2014 and i loved every minute of it. i remember waking up at 8am and playing almost nonstop until 2am the next day haha!

i didn't play moz on my first playthrough - but i did start creating a character that would eventually become her: a shorthaired ex-boxer who punched her way through obstacles when diplomacy failed. i remember she spent a lot of time with boone. i liked him then, because he saved my ass more times than i can count. but i digress. this is draft 1 moz essentially

2015 → this is the year that i was doing my thesis so i could graduate but i was so depressed and stressed about it that i distracted myself by replaying fnv on pc, where i played through the dlcs for the first time. i fell in love with the dlcs' oversarching story; particularly ulysses, who i became obssessed with, especially since i couldn't find any content of him at the time. in the game, i played as moz; i had most of her personality and choices down, but her backstory was still up in the air.

fun fact: this was an existing sideblog that i remade to be a fallout blog so i could look for ulysses content, and when i couldn't find any, i made some myself, featuring moz as my main courier six. originally, i didn't ship them, but eventually i ended the year as a courier/ulysses otp shipper.

this was the year i started drawing digitally - my uncle let me borrow a drawing tablet and i used an old copy of photoshop i pirated hehe

2016 → i graduated this year!! and promptly fell deeper into my depression. this was the year that it got so bad that i had to be medicated. through it all, this blog and moz and ulysses and my fandom friends were with me. and for that i am truly grateful :) this was the year i figured out how to lock transparent pixels so that i could color my lineart lol

2017 → i started hammering out moz's backstory this year i think. there's a lot of sketches of her and her family in my files. i experimented with shading and backgrounds here but that experimentation was pretty short-lived

2018 → i started using references seriously!!!! i did a lot of oc on oc kissing this year, featuring mostly moz and many friend ocs haha

2019 → didn't draw much this year. actually this year was a blur and i can't remember much from it except from it being the year of my terrible no good bad copywriting jobs... anyway i did manage to continue my courier/ulysses brainrot and make this piece, which i'm still proud of

2020 → pandemic time. i spent a lot of time asleep at home and i think this was also the year i started doing commissions?? shoutout to anyone who has ever commissioned me - thank you so much, i truly appreciate it!!

2021 → i switched from my old-ass pirated photoshop to clip studio paint and never looked back. also i did a bunch of commissions for my grandmother's surgery, which failed, and i distracted myself from the sadness by drawing my ocs over and over and playing disco elysium

2022 → by this year, i've got moz down pat and have started vaguely developing other ocs instead. but she's still always at the back of my mind

2023 → i bought new brushes from true grit texture supply and immediately found new favorites that i started using for everything. i tentatively started incorporating background elements in some pieces!

2024 → while it's still too early to say where this year will lead me art-wise, i will say that i started experimenting in realistic paint studio (which i bought in 2021, the same time as clip studio paint) a few days ago and i'm liking the results so far. we'll see!

all in all, these last 10 years have been quite a ride, but i'm glad i stuck around and i'm glad you guys stuck around too!! much much love 💖💖💖

[mysterious-moonstruck-musings]

Destiny & Deliverance: Chapter 7

Destiny & Deliverance Masterlist ||| Dieter Bravo X OFC Smut and Angst Warning - Minors DNI New as of 7/24/2023

SUPPORT YOUR CREATORS. REBLOGGING & COMMENTS ARE APPRECIATED.

Series Rating: Explicit (18+)

Series Summary: Natalia Cohen is experiencing major life changes, beginning with leaving an emotionally abusive husband. She is learning how to navigate life on her own while dealing with high functioning anxiety, depression, and mild PTSD. Everything is looking up for her. She is a highly respected consultant for a major LA firm, has her best friend, Lauren, by her side, and is on her path to healing. Everything changes when she meets a handsome and broken stranger on a work trip. He turns out to be a well-known actor, with a heart-breaking past. They quickly develop a connection that will forever alter their lives. 

Warnings: Themes dealing with mental health, emotional trauma, alcohol use, and discussions about suicide. There will be fluff, tears, spicy language, and smut. This will be a slow burn type of story. Read at your own risk.

Chapter Quote: “I just keep myself busy. Otherwise, I wallow in depression."

It was close to six when I arrived back at the hotel. I was starting to feel anxious. I wasn’t sure what to expect. Would he feel differently now that he’s had the day to think about last night and this morning? I was starting to get lost in my head as I walked through the main entrance. I had planned to wait in the restaurant, as usual, since he mentioned dinner. However, there were no tables open, and the bar was a little too crowded for my liking. I decided to head back to the suite and finish up my preliminary report. When I got in, I kicked my shoes off and crawled into the middle of the bed, propping myself up on the headboard. I got my laptop situated and turned the tv on for some background noise. 

Around six forty-five I heard a quiet knock on the door beside me as Dieter stuck his head in. He smiled when he saw me.

“There you are. I figured you would be downstairs. I got a little worried you were standing me up.”

He laughed nervously. I gave him a mock look of horror.

“No way! It was just too crowded when I came in. There wasn’t a table open. Was it still bad?” 

“Yeah, kind of.” 

“Let’s just grab some room service and hang out here. Maybe we can watch a movie or something?” 

“I’m actually down for that. What would you like to eat? I’ll order.” 

“Surprise me.” 

“You sure?” 

“Yep.” 

He walked into the other room to scan the QR code with his phone for online ordering, then walked back in and flopped down on the bed with his legs hanging off the side. He leaned back and laid his head on my legs and absentmindedly reached up feeling along the hem of my skirt with his free hand. His finger was rubbing over the stitching. I watched him as he scrolled, occasionally reaching with his free hand to tap the screen, then putting it back down to feel along the hem. His familiarity and comfort helped me relax after having my earlier thoughts of doubt. 

After a few minutes, he realized I was watching him with a smirk on my face. 

“I’m sorry, am I distracting you from your work? I can…”

“No. You’re good. Carry on.” 

He raised his eyebrow from behind his glasses. I laughed and went back to typing. After a few minutes, he started playing a game on his phone. Clearly getting annoyed when he made a mistake. It was adorable to watch his face scrunch up in frustration. Sometime later, we heard a faint knock on the outer door to his suite. He paused his game and hopped up. 

“That must be the food.” 

“I’ll be in shortly, I’m almost finished.”

He nodded and walked through the adjoining door. 

I finished the final paragraph on the report and gave it a quick read through. I made sure I hit save, multiple times, then sent a quick email to Megan asking her to make copies for the meeting. It felt good to have this one done. Now I could relax and have zero things to worry about this evening. Not that any of it had crossed my mind last night. 

I got up and put my laptop away. Then I walked through Dieter’s room, looking around as I went. His belongings were everywhere. It didn’t surprise me. With the chaotic energy he tended to put out, he didn’t strike me as someone who was neat and organized. I laughed to myself at the thought. 

I opened his bedroom door to find him sitting at the small table in the kitchenette area. He was playing a game on his phone again. I walked over to the table, and he jumped up, wrapped his arms around my waist, and kissed me. He leaned back and reached up to touch one of the wavy pieces of hair hanging down on my face. 

“I thought you said your hair didn’t look good curly. I like it like this.” 

I smiled and leaned into his hand. His words stirred some sort of emotion in me that I couldn’t decipher. I inhaled sharply and turned away before it showed on my face. 

“So, what are we eating?”

“I got a few different things. Feel free to sample.” 

“Geez this is a lot of food.” I laughed. He shrugged.

“I guess I’ll have leftovers for tomorrow.” 

Our eyes met, realizing what that meant. He will be alone tomorrow. Neither of us wanted to bring that up further at the moment. I hadn’t given much thought beyond this week. I couldn’t. Not yet anyway. 

We sat down to eat, each of us taking a sampling of the different meals he ordered. We both opted for water with our meal. The thought of not having liquid courage this evening made me anxious, but I needed to lay off the alcohol some. 

He told me about his day. All the meetings he had to plan for the movie role he was offered. He said it would take up to five months to film and several overseas locations were planned. He was really excited about it. 

I felt a twinge of sadness at the thought of him being in another country for such a long time. No wonder he wasn’t dating anyone. 

“Do you ever get lonely or homesick while you’re gone for that long?” 

“Yeah, sometimes. It can be rough, but I have a team I travel with that I’m pretty close to. I fly back for quick visits with my family when I get a chance and we talk a lot. Sometimes they visit me depending on where I am. I make it work. It can be hard on your mental health though. Not gonna lie.” 

“I don’t know how you do it. I’m not sure I would survive that type of living.” 

“I just keep myself busy. Otherwise, I wallow in depression.” 

He knitted his brows together as his eyes stared off in the distance at nothing. His thoughts appeared to take him to a dark place for a moment. It was brief, but I noticed it. Then he shrugged and moved to change the subject.  

“How about you, how was your day?” 

“Really good actually. I’ve definitely got the guy. Well, it’s mostly circumstantial at this point, but I have a plan. Carrington is totally on board with it.” 

I smiled, pleased with myself.

“So, he has managed to sail through because of their current setup. The fact that I caught it is just crazy because it’s really a perfect situation for him to rip the company off. Anyway, I’ve set up a camera on the entrance to the room that houses their mainframe. I think he is accessing it directly, but there are no security cameras on that door.”

Dieter mouthed “what the fuck” and threw his hands up at the ridiculousness of it. 

“I know…” I said, shaking my head in agreement.

“Anyway, so he’s going in to alter and remove records so there are no signs of the changes anywhere. He is also changing it on the backups. I think he was even smart enough to somehow get a copy of a key made so it isn’t registering on the ID card scans that he entered the room. He was accessing it during scheduled job times so as not to raise any red flags. He messed up though. On two instances he logged on 33 and 63 seconds too early. I talked to Carrington today and he’s agreed to let me install, what is basically spyware, on the station that accesses the mainframe. Anytime anyone gets onto it, it’ll do a screen recording and track key entries, then send that information directly to me.”

He had a look of shock on his face. 

“That’s like some spy shit. Maybe they need to make a movie about you.” 

He laughed at me as I rolled my eyes. 

“I think I’ll pass…. Anyway, my thinking is that it should catch him in the act. We’ll have proof he’s the one in the room during times the changes are made, and we’ll be able to see exactly what he’s doing.” 

“I’m not gonna lie. I’m impressed. You literally blow my mind every time you tell me about your work.” 

I smiled at his compliment. 

“The fun part is, I have a meeting with all of them tomorrow to go over my preliminary report.” 

He froze. Shock on his face. 

“So, what are you gonna say?”

“Well, I’m going to tell them about all the upgrades they need in IT and changes they need to make for payment processing and suggest some staffing reorganization to help things run better. I’m also going to tell them I found no evidence of security breaches or data loss issues.” 

“And you can do that with a straight face? Not give anything away?” 

He seemed skeptical. 

“I one hundred percent will. So good in fact, Jay will feel pretty damn pleased with himself at not getting caught while also panicking about the impending changes that are going to rock his world.” 

I said that with a pretty fierce look on my face to drive my point as I took a drink of water.

Dieter’s eyes got kind of big as he saw the change in my demeanor. 

“Point taken. Pretty fucking scary indeed. Now I get it.” 

He shook his head as he leaned back in his seat, laughing. I started laughing too. 

I loved that he seemed genuinely interested in my day and my work. Giving me praise rather than scrutinizing every shared detail and chastising me for the way I handled things. That was after all what I was used to getting instead. 

After we finished eating, we decided to change into our pajamas and crawl into bed to watch a movie. 

I changed into a racerback tank sleep shirt. It came down a little past mid-thigh, but I felt like I was showing a lot of skin. I decided I didn’t care. I kept the panties but lost the bra. It got Dieter’s attention when I walked into the kitchenette area while he was making popcorn. He was trying to not be obvious, but he was definitely checking me out. He had changed into his shorts and t-shirt combo. 

I grabbed a couple bottles of water, and we made our way into my bedroom. He set the popcorn on the nightstand, pulled the covers back, and jumped up to the middle of the bed. Propping himself up with pillows against the headboard. I set the waters down and he spread out his legs, motioning for me to come sit between them. I climbed up, settling in with my back to his chest as he covered us up. 

We decided to watch an old school zombie movie I had seen several times before. I think he was hoping I would get scared, but that wasn’t the case. It led to an ongoing discussion throughout the movie about the use of practical effects versus CGI. We sounded like a bunch of cinema nerds, but we were having fun with it. 

Toward the middle of the movie, he scooted his left foot back, bringing his knee toward his chest. I had laid my arm across his thigh and kept rubbing circles on the backside of it. Sometimes dipping lower and towards the inner side. He was trying to act like he was ignoring it, but he kept shifting under me. I knew it was driving him crazy. 

He wasn’t much better. He kept rubbing my arms. Occasionally giving my shoulder a squeeze before lightly rubbing along my neck and collarbone. We basically spent the entirety of the movie teasing each other while pretending we weren’t. However, I’m sure he could feel my pulse quicken as he grazed his fingers across my neck. 

At some point within the last 10 minutes of the movie, he finally caved. He leaned down and started kissing my neck, snaking his arms under mine. Pulling me closer. I turned my head to kiss him as I grabbed his right hand and guided it down under the blanket and between my thighs. He wasted no time getting to work as I writhed on top of him. It didn’t take long before I was rocked with an orgasm. I laid there for a moment catching my breath, while rubbing and massaging at his thighs. He continued to massage my shoulders while kissing and nipping at my neck. 

After a few minutes, I lifted my hips to slide my panties the rest way down my legs. Then I got up on my knees, turned, and straddled him. He looked a little surprised at my boldness but didn’t hesitate. While I stood on my knees, he too lifted his hips to slide his shorts down. I reached behind me to help him, and he eventually kicked them off. We both laughed at his minor struggle. 

He sat up straighter, wrapping his arms around me and kissing down my neck. I reached down and tugged his shirt over his head. A few quick kisses, then my nightshirt came off and landed near his on the floor. He grabbed my hips as I lifted myself to line his length up at my entrance. I slowly lowered onto him. 

This time felt different. It was soft and sensual. It was a physical and emotional connection that I had never experienced. There were a lot of light touches, caresses, and kissing. Our eyes locked together throughout when our tongues were not dancing with one another. I increased the pace of my movements as I felt my release building. I sensed Dieter was close too. The intense pleasure hit me as I arched my back, throwing my head backwards. He rubbed his nose up my neck, nipping at my chin before he buried his face, following behind me as he came immediately after. 

We both sat trembling in each other's embrace with shallow breaths. Placing light kisses as we pressed our foreheads together. I lightly rubbed the nape of his neck with my fingertips as his hands roamed up and down my back. We sat there for several minutes, unmoving. 

I eventually leaned back some, looking him in the eye as I pushed his sweaty hair back off his face. My hand came to rest on his cheek. He reached up to touch my hand, slowly entwining his fingers with mine, kissing them before pulling both of our hands to rest on his chest. I could faintly feel his racing heartbeat against the back of my fingers.

“Your mind is quiet,” I said in a low voice. It was a statement, not a question. 

He smiled as he smoothed my hair back. 

“For once, yes, it is. It’s nice to be here in the moment.” 

He searched my eyes in return. 

“Yours is quiet too.”

I smiled, shaking my head in agreement. We studied each other’s faces and an understanding seemed to pass between us. This wasn’t normal for either of us. The intensity of it actually scared me. I felt my brows draw down together. I pulled him into a tight hug before my face could betray my emotions. He buried his face into my neck as I continued to run my fingers through his hair. 

I wasn’t sure how long we sat like that, but it was a while. He eventually raised his head up, giving me an intense look with glassy eyes. He started tangling my hair between his fingers against my back, his eyes roaming my face intently. Like he was trying to decipher his emotions. He looked almost pained. My chest tightened as a lump formed in my throat. I took a deep controlled breath because I could feel the sting forming in my eyes. We both had anxiety rolling off us in waves. We were two incredibly broken people letting our vulnerability show. 

He put his hand on my face and pulled me to him, kissing me deeply. As I moved on him, with my arms wrapped around his shoulders, I could feel his hardness returning. It didn’t take long before he was inside me again and we were moving together. This time with an all-consuming frantic need with tight embraces and fingers digging deep into each other's flesh. It was like we couldn’t get close enough. 

We eventually fell into a heap on the bed after a rather intense finish for both of us. Both breathing rapidly and covered in sweat. My heart felt like it was going to pound out of my chest. Once we recovered, we untangled ourselves, laying on our sides facing each other. Taking in the moment and memorizing every detail. 

“What time are you leaving tomorrow?” 

“I have my final meeting at eight, then I’ll go to the airport immediately after.” 

No more words were spoken. He reached over and pulled me closer. I nuzzled my face into his chest as he wrapped his arms around me and sunk his face into my hair. I laid there wondering how this was going to go in the morning. I didn’t know how I wanted it to go, and I felt so confused. I’m not sure how long it took either of us to fall asleep, but we eventually did. 

The 5AM alarm came early. He turned it off on his watch, then we both laid there, unmoving, not speaking for at least ten minutes. He eventually pulled his head back to look down at me while pulling my hair off my face.

“Are you awake?” 

“Yes.” 

I lolled my head back to look up at him. His hair was all over the place. I chucked quietly as I eyed it. 

“You look like you stuck your finger in a light socket.” 

“I have a feeling you’re not fairing much better. I think we both need a shower.” 

He smiled as he leaned down to kiss me. Then he got up and walked toward the bathroom. 

“Can you bring me my brush off the sink? I need to get these knots out before it gets wet or else, I may have regrets.” 

“We definitely can’t have that,” he said with a chuckle. 

I admired his back side as he continued toward the bathroom, shortly returning with my brush. I stretched and groaned loudly. 

“You ok?” 

“My legs are protesting. Apparently, I worked muscles I haven’t used in a while.” 

I smiled at him as I sat up and started to brush my hair. It was a struggle. Between the sweat, his hands, and sleeping on it, it had turned it into a huge knot. He came over and took the brush from me while he continued to laugh at my struggles. He sat behind me with one leg up on the bed and began to brush through small sections methodically. It was a sweet gesture and it felt amazing. It seemed oddly intimate too. 

He announced he was finished, and I laid back against his chest and closed my eyes while he wrapped his arms around me. I loved the way his arms felt. I felt safe with him, I realized. He gave me a quick kiss on the cheek then reminded me about the shower. 

We showered together again. Attentively washing and rinsing in between the caresses and kissing. Nothing more than that though. The air felt heavy around us as that impending doom feeling began to bubble to the surface. 

Dieter had to leave pretty early for a meeting. Once we dried each other off, he had to rush off to his room to get dressed. 

He came back to tell me bye as I was putting on my makeup. He hugged me for a minute before giving me a long, needy kiss. 

“Can I see you again when I get back to LA?”

He searched my face. It was unreadable, I was going into my autopilot dissociative state to keep my emotions in check. It was the only way to get through this. I nodded and gave him a half smile. He looked… hopeful? He dropped his hands to his pockets. 

“Shit, I don’t know where my phone is. Where’s yours?”

I walked into my bedroom and picked it up off the dresser. Unlocking it and handing it to him. He quickly typed in his contact info and handed it back to me. 

“Text me when you get home, ok? I may not be able to answer right away, but I will as soon as I can.” 

He pulled me to him for another kiss. He was starting to get keyed up, I could tell. I heard his watch vibrate and he pulled away to look at it. 

“Fuck, my car is here. I’m running late.” 

He kissed me again quickly.

“I mean it, text me. We can talk later tonight,” he said as he ran over to his room. 

I could hear his phone pinging from his watch off in the distance somewhere. He must have found it because I heard the main door shut a few minutes later. 

Once I was sure he was gone, I sat down on the bed and nearly lost it. I was on the verge of a panic attack. There was no way I could do this. I wasn’t ready for whatever that was. It was too intense and too much. It took several minutes, but I finally pulled myself together. I couldn’t fall apart right now. I had a job to do. 

I hurried to finish getting ready and to pack up all my things. I rushed down to meet Joe, ten minutes late. Luckily, we had extra time built in for our commute. I got there with a few minutes to spare before our final meeting. I stopped in the bathroom to take a minute and pull myself together. I felt nauseous and hot. I could feel my heart racing and my head spinning. Between this meeting and leaving Dieter, I was a wreck.

I rushed into the conference room, everyone there, except for Mr. Carrington. I greeted everyone as I pulled out my laptop to open my preliminary report and key talking points. Willing myself to appear calm and collected. Megan came in to distribute paper copies of the report while we waited. 

Jay tried to appear casual as he flipped through the report. I knew what he was looking for. Indications that he had been caught. Seeing none, he relaxed back into his chair. 

Several minutes later Mr. Carrington entered. His face gave nothing away. There was no indication from either of us that anything was going on outside of what we were about to discuss. 

I took a few deep breaths, forcing myself to push Dieter out of my mind and focus. Outwardly, I was stoic and completely void of emotion. On the inside, I really just wanted to curl up in a dark room and cry. I could feel the panic rising. I reached down under the table and gave my thigh a squeeze to try and revert my focus and ground myself. Then I started to feel the cool leather along the seat of the chair. Trying everything I could to not panic. 

Mr. Carrington started the meeting by greeting everyone and thanking them for coming. Then he turned it over to me. 

I took another controlled breath before I started. I went through the report covering the needed changes for the mainframe. Heavily enforcing that tiered access would be needed and no one staff member should have access to all backups. Again, enforcing the need to beef up physical and digital security. 

Jay chimed in, “With all these mentions of security problems, is that indication of a breach?”

“It’s the opposite in fact. I couldn’t find any sources of a breach and all data and backups seem to be intact. Honestly, you guys got pretty lucky on that.” 

A sly smile spread across his face as he nodded and leaned back in his seat. Then I moved into financial processing. The moment I recommended switching to a third-party vendor for payment processing, Jay had to jump in. 

“Can you explain why that is recommended over handling all of that in house? It doesn’t make sense.” 

“Well, there are several reasons for that. It helps cut back the liability for whoever handles the money if there’s a problem. It can be tracked properly and provides tiered access to multiple users without sharing the account details. So, for instance, your assistant could be more involved with the payment processing because she will have controlled access. You don’t have to worry about security clearance because she will only see what she has been given permission to see. I’m sure that will free up a lot of your time. I know it would probably be nice to not have all the late work nights for once.” 

I smiled at him. He didn’t know how to take that. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the hint of a smirk on Carrington’s face. 

I proceeded to go over a 12-month transition plan for their IT upgrades and also laid out a few changes to maximize the use of their staff. 

Jay seemed uneasy for the rest of the meeting. He knew things were about to change for him, what he didn’t realize is how. 

Once the meeting concluded. Everyone thanked me. Carrington walked down the hall with me as I was leaving, Jay following behind. Carrington shook my hand as we were waiting for the elevator. 

“I’m sure we’ll chat soon once you have your final report completed.” 

He gave me a pointed look with a smirk. 

“Of course, I’ll set something up as soon as I have everything ready.” 

The elevator door dinged, indicating it was going down. I said a final goodbye then got on to head downstairs. Joe met me out front and asked if I needed anything before heading to the airport. I didn’t. I just wanted to hurry and get there. I wanted the flight over with. I had managed to keep it together thus far and wasn’t sure how much longer I could hold on. 

When it was time, I boarded the plane and immediately asked for alcohol. I felt sick and my head was still spinning. I needed to calm down. After finishing off the first round, I pulled my phone out. I went to the contacts and pulled up Dieter’s information. After staring at it for what was probably a good five minutes, I hit delete.  

Next Chapter

[the---hermit]

She Who Became The Sun by Shelley Parker-Chan

I took my time with reading this book, but I loved every minute of it, and I cannot wait for the sequel to come out. This book is an historical fantasy that was also inspired by Mulan (who is indeed famous because of the movie but is also a legendary Chinese figure). The plot is quite simple and follows a girl who ends up taking her brother's identity to survive famine and war. With his name the girl also claims as hers his fate of greatness. This book was absolutely phenomenal. Our main character Zhu is amazing, and the way the author explores gender with them is absolutely great. The writing was beautiful, although at times it was a bit slower than my normal liking. It's been a few days since I finished it but I still have a lot of feelings I cannot put into coherent words. I definitely recommend this book, it was a great take on this story. I loved all characters, and as I said I cannot wait to read the sequel once in comes out this summer. I'm leaving a few additional spoilery thoughts under the cut. What I would say about this novel is don't go into it expecting heavy fantasy, as it's more of a backgroud element, but do give it a chance if this book is on your radar because it's worth it.

I read this for the pun in the title prompt of the jumbo challenge (and may I add that when I realized the word play in the title my brain exploded because I never realized it before actially thinming about it).

In the part I'll talk a bit more openly so there will be spoilers.

I am taking this spoilery section mostly to talk about how much I loved the parallel we have between Zhu and her relationship with gender and Ouyang the eunuch general that fights with the Mongols. It was a genious move in my opinion to have these two characters on each side of the war. I absolutely loved them both, because they are very much layered, especially Ouyang. He is a very complicated character emotionally and because of his past, and I am very much intrigued to learn more about him in the sequel. I would also like to add a small note on how much I loved Xu Da and his relationship with Zhu. Their friendship/brotherhood filled my heart with joy.

[fierce-little-miana]

I really like your fic and I'm love how you do Chizuru and Kaoru relationship. I must admit I'm was very disappointed with how they handle Kaoru in the game, like no kidding he did horrible things and wanted to make his sister suffer but at the same he was a victim of abuse. I wanted a route for him - platonic of course - where he and Chizuru would make up or at least come to a understanding

Thank you so much for the kind words about my fic. It is always super nice to hear some feedback on it. If you like how it focuses on the Kaoru&Chizuru relationship you might have a nice surprise in the coming days (provided that you do not hate modern AU).

I perfectly understand your frustration with how Kaoru was treated in the game (though I am even more frustrated by how he was dispatched in the movie!).

I have only finished Okita's route (good ending only - I don't have enough time to play right now) in the Hakuoki: Stories of the Shinsengumi version, but I am super eager to receive my copy of the Switch version so I can play Sannan's route and the other one (Yamazaki? Sakamoto?) in which Kaoru plays an important role. I want more Kaoru content!

That being said, I did not find the content I got in Okita's route to be frustrating at all. I think Kaoru is a well-written and coherent character in it. He is not sane, he does horrible things, his goals are megalomaniac and very probably unachievable even if everything went as he wanted, but it all makes sense. He can't come back from what happened to him, he is stuck in a headlong rush. There is no escape. He is a well-executed tragic character.

I love tragedy so I love Kaoru. I love him even more because having him as a villain sort of anchors Okita's route as a route deeply centered on Chizuru and since she is sort of the main character you know… Well, narratively the oppositions "ChizuruVsKaoru" and "OkitaVsKaoru" are super interesting to me.

So I don’t mind that Kaoru is a tragic character who could not escape his cruel fate. Even if some days I believe that there was a short window in which he could have been brought back toward the light (I might write a fic about this idea one day). Other days I truly believe that Kaoru was too far gone the minute he decided to take control of the Nagumo clan to ever come back from the path he had decided to travel.

(This is basically me about Kaoru)

But I totally agree with you about something super important: Kaoru is without a doubt a victim of abuse (child abuse from when he was seven, and the game is not clear on when this stopped, sometime before the beginning of the game? sometime in 1864 taking advantage of the political turmoil in Tosa han?) that might very well have a sexual and scientific experimental dimension. That abuse ended in blood when Kaoru killed every authority figure in the Nagumo clan that wasn't him. Generally speaking every important character in the game is more or less given a redemptive action (even if that one action does not rehabilitate the entire character) that sort of acknowledges a "what could have been" scenario. Kaoru is not given that grace. The thing that comes the closest to this is his conversation in the forest by the Yukimura village with Chizuru after she has regained her memory. He is calm and apparently open during it but he is still hellbent on his "evil" plan and, for Chizuru, this conversation is more a corruption offer than a redemptive gesture from her brother. Plus we discover later that he is still lying to her about things at this point (notably about her being able to "keep" Okita).

Having the poster child for horrifying child abuse being among the very few irredeemable characters is… a choice? As I said, Kaoru’s character is well-written and coherent but the optics of that are not super good.

I too would very much enjoy a sibling (platonic) route that would explore their relationship and Chizuru oni’s heritage. Also, but this is because I am fucked up stories enjoyer, Kaoru’s route bad end could be a non-platonic ending. A bit on the same tone as Shiraishi’s Adonis Ending in Collar x Malice in which he is still with Hoshino but both characters are merely nightmarish shells (or everything they feared they could become) of what they were before.

[siryouarebeingmocked]

Glass Onion (2022): Mixed company, mixed feelings

This movie is very Current Year, even though it finished shooting in 2021 and is set in May 2020. One minor joke early on; Blanc plays Among Us during lockdown, because he's so bored.

I am not making that up.

I had the same issue with the first movie. I wasn't sure what all the Topical References™ added to the movie. And I know we love to say that great art is timeless.

But as someone who actually does read a lot of old, public-domain, popular books, many  had topical social issues in them. Heck, the first Doc Thorndyke book is about fingerprinting, which was cutting edge science at the time, and even makes a self-depreciating joke about it's inspiration, Sherlock Holmes.

I've enjoyed the odd Clancy or Connelly or Cussler or Cavanaugh or Patterson thriller. And those tend to be pretty topical. (obnoxiously so, in one case) Not to mention my love of the Vorkosigan Saga, which was so progressive in the 80s it's still progressive now.

I've also seen stories that had poorly integrated topical issues and much better-handled ones in the same show. The same episode, even.

So I don't know why the political stuff in the two movies rankled. I'd say my issue is "politics I disgree with", but I just mentioned enjoying a book series which is clearly waaay to my left.

Heck, both movies are blatantly inspired by Agatha Christie, and I distinctly recall topical stuff in my mum's old copy of *Third Girl*.

Like, literally the whole plot.

I read it a long time ago, but I think I'd still enjoy it.

Other, less important criticism. And spoilers.

-Blanc intially felt like a caricature, which was very different from the way he appeared in the first movie. turns out that's deliberate. He later says he was playing up the folksy Southernness.

Even though he's an internationally famous detective who lives in a $10,000,000 Park Avenue penthouse.

Don't ask me about the high-waisted pants, the cute little scarf around his neck, or the 19th century bathing costume he wears to the pool. Apparently his style in this movie was partially Daniel Craig's idea.

Also, he's gay.

It's not made explicitly clear during the film, and the guy he's living with could be a roomie or friend or assistant, but Johnson confirmed it. I'm not sure what it adds to the film, except an explanation for the scarf.

And also some irony when Birdie flirts with him, even though he's famous and probably publicly known to be gay. Heck, just his visible discomfort in those scenes would be irony enough, whether or not he liked women.

Miles Bronn -possible shallow Elon musk parody --he’s fooling people w/ fake genius, when he's really just a charismatic idiot. And one who gets swindled, possibly. -There's one bit of irony. Early on, Miles guests on his private island get a COVID vaccine. It later turns out Miles is an idiot.

Since the movie takes place entirely in May 2020, the implication is that Miles should know it's basically impossible to develop a proper vaccine in just a few short months.

Cough.

The actual main protagonist isn't Blanc, it's Cassandra "Andi" Brand and Helen Brand. Andi is a tech genius who Miles ripped off. And also murdered. So her twin sister Helen, a teacher, steps in.

Anyone familiar with the Trojan War is probably going "hey, wait a minute..." Did I mention that this takes place on a Greek island in the Aegean Sea? Which has Troy on its borders?

And the first things we see in the film are tantalizing wooden boxes?

Helen poses as Andi with Blanc's help, so they can investigate the murder and figure out which of Miles friends, “the Disruptors”, killed Andi.

Both Brands are played by Janelle Monae. A famously left-wing singer and actress, whose biggest film role was in the movie Hidden Figures, where she played one of a team of black women in STEM forgotten by history.

And in this movie, Monae plays two hidden figures, eclipsed by white men. One maliciously, one charitably.

Birdie --Birdie is an idiotic middle-aged singer who keeps getting cancelled because she does dumb stuff. -She sexually harasses Blanc. This is possibly why Blanc's gay, to make it extra ironic. -She's introduced at a party during lockdowns. When she arrives at the island, she wears a completely decorative facemask.

-Birdie prides herself on her honesty. In this case, it means she's inconsiderate and narcissistic, with no filter. Which makes it kinda ironic (or something?) when the day is saved in the end by a combination of lies and truth.

Duke -Dave Bautista plays an alt-right mra. Supposedly.

-He supports a girlfriend and his mother, who abuses him. He's  three or four times mom's size. He goes "Mom, I told you not to interrupt when I'm recording!" and she physically slaps him. Not even any ramp-up, she just does it.

She also tries to disrupt his call with his friends by "helping" him solve Miles' puzzle box, right up until it's done, and she stops caring.

So the show decided to mock MRAs by...making one a male victim of domestic violence and emotional abuse from a woman.

And from what I saw on Youtube, plenty of people didn't notice the irony. In fact, I found an official Netflix short of the scene, and the comments were glad he was getting "put in his place" because he politely asked him mom to let him do his job.

Also, remember when I mentioned how Birdie sexually harasses Blanc?

This movie includes two examples of the exact sort of issues MRAs talk about all the time.

-I know he's supposed to be a parody, but of who, exactly? jordan peterson? andrew tate? Pewdiepie? All of the above?

I think they even got some alex jones in there when they mention how he sold pills. Specifically, "performance" pills for men, made from rhino horn.

-Duke carries a gun near his crotch at all times for most of the movie. Specifically, an underpowered Tokarev, I've read. On top of the abuse, he also self-cucks himself so his GF can try and pillow-talk Miles into supporting Duke's next endeavour.

Subtle.

And while I was looking up the gun, I found someone on /r/liberalGunOwners saying "well, maybe it's supposed to look Russian because he's pro-Putin like a lot of right-wingers?"

That's possible, but it would be a really obtuse reference in a movie chock full of really blatant references.

-Also, there's something a tad ironic about a supposedly (alt-)right influencer being a large, muscular, tattoo'd Hispanic man. Unless that's supposed to be a tan.

Claire -Claire is a left-wing, environmentally friendly politician. She wears beige, and always looks terrible (to Katheryn Hahn's frustration). She's also a hypocrite.

Some TVTropes editor: it's about progressive politicans that gradually turn conservative.

No, the message here isn't "conservatives bad". It's "hypocritical left-wing politicians are bad". And I'm not sure about the "left-wing" part.

Duke is a hypocrite because he self-cucks for advantage, and is also physically abused by his tiny little mom. Claire is just a straight up liar, as politicians often are. There's a contrast between his performative peacocking in every aspect of the way he presents himself, and Claire's beige cold mess.

I'm not kidding. That was the stated intent of her costume and makeup.

-claire calls duke an MRA. I'm not sure if the writers were wrong, Claire's wrong, or Duke actually calls himself an MRA in-universe. He's certainly a traditionalist, which MRAs usually aren't. He also wants women to get back in the kitchen, which MRAs usually don't.

And finally, there's Miles’ No 2., tech wizard Lionel, who spins Miles' straw - or napkin ideas - into gold. In fact, he spends most of the movie with a gold wishbone pin on his lapel. GEDDIT?

Duke is a right wing tradcon MRA who cares about physical appearances even though he has a bad social rep, Claire is a left-wing progressive with a terrible physical appearance and a good social rep, Birdie is an idiot who keeps saying un-PC things, and Lionel is the smart guy, who is apparently more or less apolitical.

Also, the movie has obvious inspiration from Christie's "And Then There Were None". And maybe Clue. Or Among Us.

Or all three.

[daitranscripts]

Frequently Asked Questions

Updated as needed

What is this project?

DAI Transcripts is my endeavor to document and format all of the dialogue in Dragon Age: Inquisition (I hope that's obvious, otherwise I might be doing a pretty bad job). This has been an ongoing project since 2019, with over 250k transcribed words as of January 2024. I started this project as a spiritual successor to the discontinued @dragonagetranscripts ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤ

Why are you doing this?

Because god has punished me for my hubris and my work is never done. 

jk it’s actually because I was sick of watching bad let’s plays while trying to work on my longfic so I took matters into my own hands.  ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤ

Who are you anyway?

I'm Plisuu in disguise :) I am a high school teacher, artist, and writer. You can find me on all social media under the same name, though I'm only really active on tumblr these days. ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤ

Are you alive? Are you still working on this?

Yes. Mostly. I am in the midst of a crisis at all times, so I try to work on this when I can! That mainly means I appear, spam most of a main questline, and then vanish again for a few months. ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤ

Will you do -insert quest-?

Short answer: Hopefully, yes!

Long Answer: While I would love to be able to do every quest in the game, it depends on how much energy I have. I intend on working through the game from start to finish, first main quests, then secondary/companion quests, and then romances. Location and side-quest dialogue are on the list as well.

If you want to see something specific, just drop me an ask! I don't mind it at all, and sometimes it's a refreshing little break to work on something aside from the main quests. ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤ

Please take my money! How can I support you?

I have a Ko-fi, but honestly, the kind messages and tags I get on my posts are more than enough! The best way to support me is by sharing this resource :)

Feel free to share your fics with me as well, I love seeing how different folks use the dialogue given to us and spin such unique and varied stories. ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤ

You typo'd/did a thing wrong/you’re missing race/class specific dialogue!

Please let me know in an ask - I hope to have a very accurate account of all the dialogue, so don’t be afraid to let me know if I’m missing something.

Most of my transcripts are pulled from the game files themselves as well as a variety of youtube videos and a mix of my own playthroughs, but I do occasionally miss things or can't figure out exactly how a piece of dialogue fits.

Remember, my ask box and messages are always open ♡

[hamliet]

(TGCF book 7 spoilers!)

After being so busy in the last few days, I was finally able to finish it! Let's just say that I have so many thoughts!

First things first, Shi Qingxuan my beloved 🥹 I missed him a lot! Though I am sad at how much trauma he went through, it's nice to know he isn't completely unhappy and even became a beloved figure in his new community.

Second things second, Yin Yu! Even though he was full of ressentment over always being in the shadow of his shidi, he still protected Quan Yizhen, and I think this means a lot more than he realized! Deep down, I think he still cared deeply for him, and I felt quite sad over his death. (Also, is it just me, or do YY and QYZ remind a lot of SQQ and LBG?)

Speaking of characters I feel sad about, Qi Rong is probably the one I'm going to miss the most. I have so many thoughts on him, I almost don't even know where to start! He was always the character that brought a smile to my face with his shenanigans when things were more serious, so seeing him die was sad, but he had a very satisfatory ending imo! I think that, even after he started hating XL, deep down, he wanted his approval/attention/love, but because of his personality (shaped by multiple circumstances neither he or XL could control), he never truly got it. I think what QR truly wanted was someone who loved him inconditionally and genuinely regardless of his sociopathic and immature behaviour, something he didn't get since his mother died. And, in the end, he got it in the form of a child. Even after threatning Guzi so many times, he always stuck by his side, and, without realizing, QR also became attached, because deep down he just wanted to be loved. As he died, he realized this. Realized that he never got XL's love, but that didn't matter, because in the end he still had what he needed, which was his child's love. 🥹 (Also the irony of him accidentally being right about most gods is not lost on me!)

And of course who can forget about the main highlight of this book? I always knew Jun Wu was related to White No-Face (in part because I was already spoiled he was the big bad of the series, thus they had to be related), and I always suspected White No-Face was the prince of Wuyong, so the reveal didn't surprise me at all. That being said, the way the reveal was executed gave me chills nonetheless! I think JW is perhaps the biggest projector I've seen in a piece of media, he really saw (sees?) XL as a version of himself and thus wants him to "join the dark side", because XL choosing the bright side might mean that JW could've become like that as well, and that perhaps hurts him. He succumbed to his own despair, so someone so identical to him must follow the same path... Right? But I wasn't expecting him to be so... In control of the narrative up until now. I wasn't expecting most monsters to be related to him as well, and I always thought that the HX/SQGX/SW ordeal was something mostly related to the three, so the reveal that JW was planning on getting rid of SW in one way or another... JW truly had eyes everywhere uh.

Another character that was everywhere in the narrative right under our noses as well was Mei Nianqing, he reminded me of XL as he recounted being involved in so many things since the days of Wuyong, to him being the person who tried to warn about SQGX's fate at the hands of the Reverend, to being the state perceptor of Xianle. I knew he was going to play a big role in the story after he was mentioned in book 6, but I wasn't expecting him to have such a big role in the story, to the point where it was him who basically explained the truth about literally everything.

I also liked seeing LQQ again, and Pei Ming was the funniest character besides QR. The shenanigans he gets himself into are always entertaining, but I can't help but pity him. One of his friends is dead, the other works directly for JW, and in the end he had to deal with a crazy ex-lover and a crazy ex-friend as well. Also wasn't expecting Ling Wen to be so... Cold, as she was one of the first characters we saw in the series to be somewhat amiable of XL. Then again, the hints of her coldheartedness were there since the Brocade Immortal arc anyways. It makes her quite the intriguing character!

And last but not least: Mu Qing and Fen Xing. I became much more found of them once I realized they where their own supposed subordinates who helped XL in the beginning. I was quite lukewarm of FX's doomed romance, but after these last two books I understand now why it makes sense within the story. Also, Mu Qing acted quite sus in this book, it didn't cross my mind at first, but I wonder if he's working for JW...?

So yeah, these are my thoughts on book 7! I admit I thought this was the last book of the main story and book 8 would have the extras, but I'm glad the story didn't finish just yet! I hope to get the special edition with merch this christmas haha! Also, I'm glad you liked to hear my thoughts on the story up until now! :)

Yay! Love reading this!

And oh yeah, YY and QYZ are definitely SQQ and LBH. That's kinda why I'm always side-eyeing the statements that all characters are straight besides the main pairing. Like. Girl, they clearly aren't lol.

And yes, Qi Rong! I think I did an analysis in the past about how if you look at exactly what he says early on in the story, he's right about every single god except for two: Quan Yizhen and Shi Qingxuan, the two gods who are actually the most pure hearted and kind and good, but otherwise, on paper, seem not fit to be gods--Quan Yizhen because he doesn't care about pleasing others and the clear autism subtext, and Shi Qingxuan because his brother literally took his god-exams for him to get him ascended. Yet, these are the two best gods in a lot of ways, and the only ones Qi Rong can't read for filth because he's seen so few examples of actually good people in power.

[mpsideadump]

Lies of P records ranking!

Since “Music to my Gears” is finished, I am celebrating the completion of my fic with a personal ranking of the records in this game, including a brief explanation for each rank! To clarify, I will be ranking only the non-golden records. There’s nothing wrong with the Golden records. I still love them! I just feel like this ranking would be a little bloated if I included them. 

Quick reminder: This ranking is all my own personal opinion! If you agree or disagree with any placements, I’d love to hear your thoughts. In the end, we can all agree that every record in this game is absolutely beautiful. 

Now let’s get on with the ranking! This will be a rather long post, starting from B tier (because none of these records can really be considered bad or just okay imo) and will end on S tier (my absolute favorites). 

B tier:

11. “Misty Er’a” 

Starting off this ranking, we have “Misty E’ra”, a record gained by defeating an elite enemy at the end of the optional ‘dungeon’ the Hermit’s Cave. I do like the sound of this one! It reminds me a lot of a song that would play in a bar at midnight, as customers are leaving for the night and the owner is closing up shop. Very cozy, very nice! There’s not a lot standing out in this record compared to the other records, but that is A-okay!

10. “Divine Service”

This record is gained by completing the nun Cecile’s side quest. I don’t know if this is the right comparison but I for some reason think of an old abandoned desert town when I listen to this record. It has a slight hint of an old western feel for some reason to me. It’s just the way the instruments all harmonize with one another in this record that does it for me! 

9. “Far East Princess”

You get this record by lying to Eugenie about Alidoro’s fate during her questline. It’s a very beautiful piece, fittingly reminiscent of a song that could be plated by Eastern Royalty. Part of me actually wonders if maybe Eugenie actually is the princess of her country! And though she most likely isn’t, she’s at least blacksmith royalty to us! I will be honest, though. I didn’t think much of this record until listening to its original DJ MAX counterpart. That version of the song got me to appreciate this piece a little bit more!

8. “Shadow Flower”

This record is gained by giving Sophia peace when you encounter her at Arche Abbey. It’s soothing but also beautifully haunting in a way, as if something you’d hear in a dream. It’s why I wrote this song to be in P’s first dream in my fic. Knowing that this song is about Sophia’s longing for P to save her makes this song even better. Check out the translated lyrics and it just makes you feel for her! In addition, the singer of this record (if anyone knows who it is please let me know!) sounds absolutely gorgeous as well! 

A tier:

7. “Feel”

This record is received by completing the Weeping Woman’s side quest and lying to her about her baby, who is really a doll. We all know how this song serenaded us as this is the very first record in the game. If you played the demo, maybe you were like me and just knew this game would be something else upon listening to this song there! 

I loved this record so much that I went to learn it on the piano along with my sister. We figured out how to play this without any sheet music! 

It may come as a shocker that “Feel” isn’t as high on my ranking as others would probably put it, but don’t get me wrong. This record is beautiful, but I think when listening to the others, it doesn’t hold up as much! Nevertheless, I don’t think any other record could be better as the first one many of us listened to in game. 

6. “Fascination”

You find this record after giving Adelina an apple back at the Estelle Opera House and then returning to her after defeating Romeo. “Fascination” I’d argue is one of the main theme songs of this game. It has a significant presence throughout the story, playing all throughout the Rosa Isabelle Street level and during the White Lady’s boss fight. It even plays during the game’s end-credits! But this instrumental version really is something else. 

It sounds like a melancholic love song, something that could be played during a wedding. And this rendition of the song when played while starting Polendina and Antonia’s storyline is just chef’s kiss. 

I feel like this version is very underrated compared to its Golden counterpart, but I’m here to give the instrumental a lot of love!

5. “Quixotic” 

You receive this record by giving the Red Fox and Black Cat gold coin fruit after defeating Victor at the Grand Exhibition. This record is rather unique, I’d say. Very daunting, almost heroic sounding. The singer Seo Jayeong is the same singer of “Feel”, but dammit I think her vocals just sound so much more powerful in this song. There are no pauses in between lyrics in the second half of this song, and that’s a very difficult thing to maintain! So kudos to Miss Jayeong for the performance! 

This one’s definitely one of the best records in this game’s collection!

4. “Proposal, Flower, Wolf Part 1”

Where the heck is part 2???

You gain this record by telling the truth to Eugenie about Alidoro’s fate(whether just telling her about Parrot stealing Alidoro’s identity or also including the fact that Alidoro’s her brother). 

This one is just…so, so nice. It gives off the vibes of an anime ending song, and I’m just gonna bet if they ever do make a Lies of P show, this would be like those songs that would play a lot in the background during emotional moments like in a Korean drama. I have a slight bias towards this song as well because I ended up associating this song with P listening to Romeo’s message for the first time. It’s how I wrote it in the fic, and I ended up having it play in the background while listening to Romeo on a new game run. Top tier emotional song. 

Side note: shoutout to Lies of P’s director Choi Ji-Won for singing the vocal in the Golden version of the song!

S tier (my favorites): 

3. “Someday”

You get this song by buying it from the Malum District merchant (we stan this merchant btw, this dude is legit the MVP of the game). 

I think this song gets bonus points for sounding so much more energetic and catchier compared to the other records. The singer (again, please let me know who it is if anyone knows) sounds very pleasant to the ear and the entire song is just such an earworm in general!

“Someday” is just a lot of fun, and I don’t think I hear enough people talk about it. In addition, the DJ MAX version sounds like something straight from an anime opening and I highly recommend anyone who hasn’t heard it to take a quick listen. It’s just as fun as the Lies of P version. 

2. “Memory of Beach”

This record is gained by completing Antonia’s side quest by curing her of the Petrification Disease and then finding it on her wheelchair after she passes away. 

This song and the next are actually pretty interchangeable in terms of being imo my favorite and the best in the game. 

Before I played the game for myself, I had already listened to the records thanks to a video on YouTube compiling them all. I know I shouldn’t have, but I couldn’t help myself, and what do you know I ended up making a fic dedicated to the music in this game. When I heard this record, let me tell y’all I actually cried just listening to this song. 

Everything about it from the piano being the only instrument and how the vocalizer (likely meant to be Antonia herself) is only humming just got me. The lack of lyrics I found reminiscent of maybe someone experiencing dementia and forgetting the lyrics of a song they had loved. 

When I learned how you got the record in the game, I cried even more. Losing someone is never easy, but it’s always important to remember all the good memories you had with them. 

1. “Why”

This record is gained by completing Belle’s side quest and lying to her about Atkinson’s fate. 

I had heard this record on YouTube because Neowiz decided to release it there early before the game’s release. Listening to those opening notes, I immediately fell in love!

I thought that if the music in this game was going to sound this good, I already knew I’d enjoy the hell out of it. 

The song is very reminiscent of a dance, a waltz in a ballroom, empty except for the couple who is dancing.

There was this fic I read that was written before the game’s release that was about Pinocchio finding this song out in the wild while exploring and dancing with a mannequin to satisfy his urge to dance to the song. I absolutely loved the imagery used in that fic, and imagining this song playing in the background as I read it helped increase my love for this song. It’s actually what inspired me to write the “Why” chapter in “Music to my Gears” the way I did. 

There’s plenty of beautiful music in this game and there are certain pieces that I think suit being the game’s theme better than others.  

However, this record I feel is the sound of a puppet becoming human. This record is the song of a liar.

__

With that, this was my personal ranking of the non-golden records in Lies of P! Hope you enjoyed that little read and I would love to hear your guys opinions, whether you agree with me or not! 

[cilldaracailin]

Rocketman Project

Hello my Tumblr Lovely’s!

Gosh it has been a VERY long time since I have posted anything on my Tumblr let alone a Robyn and Taron story.

This is not a Robyn and Taron story but it is something else that I have been working on since September 5th and while I still have one more thing do to, I am waiting for something to arrive in the post before I can finish it and am too impatient to post what I have been doing.

Anywhoo, I know that makes no sense at all but here we go.

I decided that I was going to knit the orange devil costume from the Rocketman movie but make it a doll so it’s Taron in the Rocketman Devil costume playing Elton John. It is something I have been thinking about for a while but just wasn’t to sure how I was going to go about it as you cannot get a pattern for it anywhere, so I decided to go on a limb and do it myself. 

Now I have a LOAD of photos to go with this but the process I feel is so important because not tooting my own horn here, but SO much work and time has gone into this, but I am so proud of how it turned out!

So, first thing was a pattern. Coming up to Christmas I knit Santa Claus’s and knew I could use that pattern as the basic body pattern so I once I got the wool and the colours I needed, I got the pattern.

So, then it was time to start knitting.

Feet, legs and body first and I decided to make the dungarees that the costume had too, so the body looked like it was wearing the dungarees. Now they are not as perfect as what was in the movie, I realised after that it was more a sleeveless body suit and not dungaree’s per say but it had the desired effect.

Next came the arms and time to stuff the doll.

And because Taron had those shoes to match the costume in the movie, the Rocketman Doll had to have some too! They don’t have heels though. I thought about it but just knitted little booties for him instead.

From here on in I was pretty much winging it. I was using the pattern for some things, but the rest just came from my head and lots of trial and error.

So, the doll needed some clothes. Trousers and a jacket which then also needed the large neck collar and a zip. I figured I would be doing this once, so I was going to do it properly. Which is why he got two pairs of trousers. I had made a pair initially which were flares but when it came to sewing them in, the bottoms were much too big to I made a second pair which fitted much better.

And then with the new pair of trousers which fitted much better.

Next then was his hat. This was tricky as I wanted to get that V effect perfect as it is such an important part of the costume, so I found a pattern for a baby’s hat and followed it, and it created that V shape. It turned out great in the end.

Then next were the two horns. The one on the left is knitted while the one on the right is knitted and stuffed. I had bought some fake flowers and used the bendy stems which were like pipe cleaners and cut them and pushed one into the stuffed horns to create the shape. It worked a treat, and you will see them further down bent into shape.

Now that the main part of the doll has been made, it came down to creating all the decorative parts.

For the ‘flames’ as I am calling them, which on the actual costume that Taron wore were millions of little sequins, I used embroidery thread to sew each flame in by hand. I created the pattern first with a red glittery thread and then one by one added in the colours of the flames. The pattern follows that of the costume along the front, back and arms. Sewing in the thread and flames took so long. Really tedious but so effective once done!

Once all the flames were done, it was time to add some sequins. I started with the bottom of the trousers and sewed them in one by one.

At this stage, I then forget to take photos as I was getting so excited at seeing the whole thing come together. 

I knitted a belt and sewed it in and then sewed in smaller sequins around the belt. I have no photos of that, but you can see it in the finished doll.

I actually ran out of the large red and orange sequins so I have ordered more and these will go along the sleeve edge of the doll. That is the very last thing I have to do but I can’t wait to show him off so I will come back when it is completely finished. This is what I was talking about earlier. I am waiting for them to come in the post.

Once I had all the sequins sewen into the belt and legs, I then started the glasses and face.

Again, I am lacking photos cos I was so excited at how amazing the doll was coming along. I had intended to knit the love hearts for the glasses, but they were turning out way too big, so I crocheted two love hearts instead and then sewed silver sequins around the edge. Using the same bendy material that is like pipe cleaners (that were in the fake flowers) I created the glasses frame. I wrapped it in grey wool and then I used the hot glue gun to glue the hearts to the glasses frame.

I crocheted white eyes and added green in the middle for Taron’s eyes of course and then knitted a little button nose and sewed them onto his face and added his glasses.

His mouth was SO hard to get right. I had tried 6 or 7 different types of mouth and even sewed a crocheted one in but it just wasn’t right, so I took it out and then did a single line which was so much better. You can see it in the photo below.

Next, I sewed in the horns and then added sequins to the horn and the hat. One by one sewed them in and added them on. They also took a very long time to do as they had to be sewen in on both sides of they would go sideways and not straight.

Then the very last thing (apart from the remaining sequins) was the feathers. I was sooo excited for the feathers because they make the outfit. I first made a back brace. I suppose you could call it that and it was the same as what they used in the movie for Taron so the feathers could be lifted on and off. Again, I used the bendy pipe cleaners from the fake flowers and turned it into an over the shoulder back brace and then used the orange wool to cover it.

Next, I had to create the feathers. I knew I was never going to be able to create the love heart effect in the feathers. It just was going to be much to hard so instead of worked on getting the shape right instead.

I mapped out the red ones first and using the hot glue gun, glued the feathers to the brace bit by bit. I tried to be methodical about it and use feathers that leaned into the middle to try and create that shape and the red ones worked so very well.

Next, I added two black ones to the front and then turned the whole thing around and added the orange ones to the back.

Then it was just a matter of putting him all together!

And I am blown away by how amazing this turned out! I was not expecting it to be so WOW at the end of this. 

I mean it’s a knitted Taron doll that turned out amazing! 

It will be the one and only knitted Taron doll though I would be so tempted to try and do the crocodile rock scene too, but I might give it a break now. Maybe concentrate on Robyn and Taron first. They need some love after being abandoned for so long

But yeah... I knitted a Taron Egerton Rockeman Doll.

Suze xx

[thedndgoblinwholivesinyourwalls]

*SNATCHES MICROPHONE* YOU, TUMBLR MUTUAL, I AM INTRESTED IN YOUR OCS.

:0 HELLOO OK OK SO *claps hands togheter*

@guess-how-i-stole-this-body FOUND IT

Ajhdjd so my main story is set in a made up town in Florida (I actually don’t know why I chose florida) called Beckenshire. Which was an industrial town in the early 1900s-1930’s. Around the 1970-80’s they built a nuclear plant but demolished it pretty quickly after they noticed it wasn’t all that safe.

This world is basically like our own except with cryptids and monsters. We don’t know where they came from, they’ve been here since the start of time it seems, but they usually live closer to nuclear plants/ruins. Due to the fact they get power from it.

So Beckenshire has a lot of these monsters, and an important one for later is the Sprites which are little spirits that inhabit random inanimate objects and float them around. You can bribe them with sweet treats if you want that random object back. There is also a Spirite 2.0 (i don’t have a name for them) that inhabits dead bodies. Or they make a deal with people on their deathbed (methaporically and literally) that they’ll inhabit their heart to keep the body running for a bit longer but the body will slowly decay.

So onto the characters! (sorry this is so long and I’m not even finished)

You’ve got Ryan Beckett, on the school’s basketball team and plays dnd often. He has a fear of deer thanks to seeing the Devil Heart (a massive deer skeleton with human teeth) in the woods when he was younger. Later in the story he gets his arm chopped off by Carmela (another oc) and gets a werewolf-ish bite from a monster (idk which yet) that gives him yellow pupils, horns, pointy teeth and ears.

Carmela Rivera Luzardo is a soccer player and her and ryan have a rivals to lovers kind of thing thanks to the fact the basketball team has way better funding by the school. She lives with her dad and her mum is in the city for ‘work reasons’. Later in the story she joins a cult called Children of The Woods (which is important later) and cuts ryan’s arm off and ends up having to gain her friends trust again. She didn’t want to cut his arm off i might add.

Dana Bernard is the last of this trio and they are amazing in my opinion. She lives with her two dads at home, when she was very young her mum died of cancer and her dad recently remarried to a guy named Jose. (Her bio dad is called Noah and he has a whole crisis after figuring out he’s bisexual thanks to the fact his wife is dead and he has a bunch of guilt about that still) Later in the story, she gets their eye plucked out by mermaids (their called Nereids) and they have a big fear of water from then on. A monster pretended to be her late mum and tried to drown them.

Oliver Biswar is a side character (kind of?) he’s 10 years old and has bright glowing blue eyes from a sprite accident. He loves dinosaurs.

Now I have a lot of story for the parents but I’ll shorten it down.

Janette Biswar is the current leader of the cult Carmela joined, which was a cult her family made in the 50’s to worship the monsters. She’s seen as a god/messenger of the gods. She adopted oliver after her sister died. (Her sister was oliver’s mum). She tricks Carmela into joining the cult by using her mum against her. She also ends up in a relationship (?) with ryan’s mum, Adele. Which isn’t the best.

Adele Beckett is a monster hunter and she is married to Josh beckett who is a trans guy. They began dating before Josh knew he was trans so they were a sapphic couple and Adele has a lot of ‘diet’ transphobia towards Josh and her son Ryan. She also has a lot of arophobia towards Janette (Janette is an aro lesbian). The two end up in a relationship which is more a sexual one then romantic since Janette has stated multiple times she is not interested in a romantic one. Both of them where fine with that until Adele did catch feelings for Janette and did that thing a lot of people do which is ignore what the person has previously said and tell them their heartless. Also Janette had no idea Adele was cheating on Josh. That kind of brings us to Janette’s first death which is her burning along with the cult building thanks to a molotov cocktail that Adele had.

[threeletterslife]

Hii! It's me again. I was curious how you came up with this? Was the whole series your idea or someone elses, or mabye where you found your inspo and such. And when you started writing it, did you come up with all the plots and stories yourself and did you have doubts on it? OH and also how did you come up with all these characters and fantasy like places and stories and names?You're welcome to answer or just ignore tho. Whatever is nice for you! 💓

wellllll this is quite a long story, so buckle up!

i consistently write a journal documenting my journey with lod, so i will be copy-pasting excerpts here. i am planning to post the entire journal once lod is finished (right now, it is 37+ pages, but it'll definitely be much longer lol. not sure if people would even read the full thing, though.) FYI: below the keeping reading line, words in red omits spoilers (aka the chapers i haven't posted yet) and words in green are commentary (since i wrote this journal a couple years ago)

tl;dr: i was bored in quarantine and had a lot of motivation, so i came up with lod. the entire series was my idea, but i found inspiration from other fantasy/magic series. i did have doubts when it came to plotting, but i had a couple of friends who proofread. coming up with everything was definitely a process—i explain it in detail below:

1. HOW IT ALL STARTED

November 1st, 2020, Sunday was the day I created the first LOD-related Google Doc. I remember for the longest time, I wanted to write an ultra-long series. I had no idea what this series would consist of—the only thing I did know is that I wanted it to be a slow burn. Of course, I began dabbling with the idea of the internet’s most beloved trope: enemies to lovers. I realized that I don’t exactly have much of an interest in developing a story based on modern-day happenings. If this series was going to be long, I wanted to go all-in—that is, I wanted to play around with some extensive world-building. Though I admit I have some experience in world-building, I say this with a grain of salt because I’ve never actually expanded upon my new universes. (Most of my world-building work has been through the Society Series, which included seven stories that ranged from 2k-29k words. And 2k-29k words are barely anything compared to the long series I wanted to write.) So I took on this challenge of creating an entirely new world with new nations and cultures and people.

Except I didn’t know where to start. I think I found it the easiest to figure out who I wanted to write. I definitely wanted to write a somewhat angsty relationship (definitely something on the lines of enemies to lovers). So I knew my main characters had to have a lot of spunk to them. I still wasn’t so sure about the setting, until I realized how interesting it would be to write a story about a war. I’ve never quite done that before. I accepted the challenge. And with this setting in mind, I began to piece together my characters. I typed out a quick: general!yg (26) and general!yn (23) into the Google Doc. It was actually smooth sailing from there.

1.1 Castings, Genres and Plotting

I created two nations: Solaria and Darlae and then split them up as the elemental magic group and traditional “wand” magic group. I wasn’t so sure how to build upon the magic, though. I decided to leave that problem up for the future me. Meanwhile, I assigned Yoongi the role of the cynical, cold yet somehow gentle Solarian General. Of course, to add some *spice*, I cast our OC as the kindhearted, passionate Darlaean General. I took a lot of inspiration from Avatar: The Last Airbender and the Harry Potter franchise but ultimately decided that I’d create my very own system of magic (somewhere along the line). I did know that the Solarians would control the elements and the Darlaeans would use what I later called their birthstones to do their own form of magic. But other than that, I literally let alone the magic. I figured I’d begin to create the magical guidelines when I felt more comfortable with the other parts of the story.

From November 1st to the 7th 2020, I plotted every day. But these were very general plot points—mostly to map out where the story would go. I came up with an introduction that I felt was a good hook, and from there, I focused a lot on moving the plot along. It’s a little problematic considering I didn’t exactly flesh out my characters yet, but I thought it would be better to just word vomit than stay stagnant. I realized I could tweak the plot a little (or a lot) after I got my ideas out. So then, I made the whole storyline of OC’s lost memory, Yoongi being suspicious of her, her feeling a little lost in Solaria, then her assimilating and gaining Yoongi’s undevoted trust. The plot was very much centered around her and the Solarian General. I remember being stuck at a particular plot point, however. It was after the fact that OC went into battle and got “captured” by the Darlaeans. I knew she’d meet her past lover (Jungkook) and it’d be a whole angst parade. But there were a few complications that are plot spoilers of the latter half of the second act, plus acts III and IV, so I will not share them for now. Just know that it wasn't until January 2nd to 14th of 2021 that I finally configured the ending of LOD

1.2 Creating the Title

I also came up with the title on January 10th. I had some possible choices too: ​​Forgotten Memories, Lost Memories, The Legends of Two Kingdoms, Legends of Magic, Legends of Darlaria. At first, I really wanted to incorporate the motif of memory in the title. [Reasons are redacted.] But then I started brainstorming some ideas and realized putting ‘memory’ in the title sounds cheap/an attempt to sound overly deep. I didn’t like it. So I realized I could branch off and talk about the nations. The Legends of Two Kingdoms gave me Dickens’ A Tale of Two Cities vibes and I was not there for that. Legends of Magic sounded straight-up stupid. But then came Legends of Darlaria. It clicked. I was so happy with that and it stuck like glue.

1.3 Fleshing the Plot Out

1.3.1 Creating the Acts

January 12th, 8:38 AM, I copy-pasted my plot doc into a new doc specifically for chapter divisions. By 8:46 AM, I had created three acts. Act I is OC’s time spent in Solaria. Act II encompasses the entirety of OC’s stay in Darlae. Act III is the ending. I didn’t flesh out any of the chapters/parts. In fact, I spent the next several days splitting my story into parts. And by January 26th, I had all 65 parts basically fleshed out (plus the epilogue). It ended up being 57 pages, 33 more than my original 24.

January 16th, I first came up with the idea of having four acts instead of my original three. I felt like if I stayed with three acts, act II would be unnecessarily long. [Redacted discussions about acts III and IV].

1.3.2 Major Creations and Edits

From then on, I worked on my chapter divisions doc sporadically. I skipped the whole month of February. Then, I only worked on it twice around the end of March. I remember this was because I was losing a lot of motivation for Legends of Darlaria. I had completed a lot in a pretty short amount of time: creating a title, creating functioning characters, creating a 65-page plotline, etc. It was safe to say that I was (a) getting tired of it (b) realizing my ideas weren’t so great as I had originally thought they were. It also might have had a lot to do with college decisions and online school burnout. I remember I was just tired all the time—even though I was getting more than enough rest. Legends of Darlaria felt so… bland. Every arc I had, I felt like it had been done before, and there was nothing really special about my characters either. In fact, I started to worry that they were really, really starting to look like Mary Sues (especially the OC). 

But I got ahold of myself and began working again, picking up momentum. I entered the chapter division document (my main doc) on April 19th, ready to get back on track. I remember, I felt kind of lost, then. I wasn’t sure if I should add any more details to the plot or whether I should even take parts of the plot out. I felt like to change one little detail, I had to change a billion other things. So in the month of April, I remember obsessively reading over the document and editing every little piece of dialogue, sentence, plot point. I even built upon my characters. On April 19-22, I gave them zodiac signs, IQs and their place of birth. Zodiac signs were easy. For OC, her stubborn nature and willingness to stay grounded made her a Taurus, which is perfect considering that she has an April birthday (in order to have the diamond birthstone). I didn’t plan for that to happen, but it did happen to work out. Yoongi’s an obvious Aries; head on his shoulders, also stubborn and pretty tough (redacted information). I always imagined Jungkook as a Virgo (which he is in real life). On April 20th, I created the five sectors of Solaria—literally on a whim. Each element would get its own sector and there would be a heterogeneous capital sector. Coming up with the names for that was so fun. I basically looked up “names that mean [insert element]” and created my own variations from what I found on the internet. Needless to say, the names did not disappoint. (I’m usually shit at coming up with fantastical names, so this was an improvement on my part.) This was how I was able to figure out that Yoongi’s birthplace is Aithne; OC and Jungkook are both from Darlae, a huge kingdom with no separate cities/sectors [that obviously got changed later LOL]. Figuring out their IQs was a roller coaster ride [even though honestly it shouldn't even have been a huge deal since IQ doesn't define intelligence whatsoever]. In the beginning, I gave OC the highest IQ of 133. Jungkook had the lowest of 127 and Yoongi had a 131. But I thought about those numbers for a long, long time. (The funny thing is, IQ is not even remotely important to the story, so I have no idea why I was fretting so much about it.) But two days later on April 24th, I edited the IQs. Jungkook now had the highest of 131. Yoongi had the lowest of 127, and OC had 130. I remember realizing that I didn’t want the nations’ militant leaders to be too above average; that’s not how usually the military works. But I did want their IQs to be a little higher than average, too—because let’s face it—these characters do some smart shit in the story. But I ended up bumping Yoongi down the IQ ladder (for reasons that are purely intuitive; I can’t explain them with words). Jungkook went up (because I realized he’s one of my most intelligent characters), and OC is just right behind him.

1.3.3 Art & the Quest of Smut

No one asked for this, so I will be omitting this excerpt LOL.

1.3.4 An Obscene Number of Things to Fix

April 27th, I fleshed out the five sectors of Solaria, creating their relative sizes and different ecological biomes. (I literally remember researching the different biomes during my math class—it was a nice bio review!) I also realized I needed to take the initiative on my still ever-so-present dilemma that Legends of Darlaria felt bland. I was ruminating about the reason it could come off as bland for months. But I finally got somewhat of an answer. It was definitely because there was too much focus on the main characters; the side characters didn’t get the time of day! I also thought that the main characters’ flaws were not well-portrayed enough in the plot. So, I came up with a list called ‘THINGS TO FIX.’ It consisted of 10 bullet points: (1) yn’s not good with kids, (2) [HUGE FUCKING SPOILER], (3) [another spoiler LOL], (4) the ending drags on too much, (5) [semi-spoiler but omitting just in case], (6) sprinkle in stuff about sectors, (7) [more spoilers bruh], (8) add seokjin to the flashbacks, (9) add more female OCs, (10) figure out dates/times

(1) OC gets to meet children in chapter 5 where she voyages to the capital with her General. But I realized, it doesn’t make much sense for OC to be a kid-person. Even when she was young, she was mature for her age, and she had to grow up quickly due to the death of her mother [changed this to her parents' neglect instead]. She never got a chance to be a child. So it would make sense for her to be awkward around children. She doesn’t know how to treat those mini-adults!

(2) Nope

(3) Also nope

(4) Semi-spoiling the ending, so will take out just in case

(5) Also a semi-spoiler...

(6) I just created the different sectors, so I realized that now has to be integrated into the story.

(7) Oops also a spoiler

(8) Seokjin is a character we barely see in the whole story, which sucks because his character has so much potential. Even though I didn’t write it down anywhere, I always internalized that Seokjin is a misunderstood character. (Kind of like Jungkook.) He has a lot of potential and is a highly disciplined individual, but doesn’t quite understand how to interact with others. I think he’s a very “rigid” character. He likes to follow the rules. He likes to obey orders. I think a pivotal point in his character is when [REDACTED]. But since Seokjin is such an interesting character, I want to put him in the flashback scenes. He must have played some role!

(9) I knew for a while that Legends of Darlaria would not take in place of a patriarchy. Men and women are literally equal. So it was just sad to see more male characters than females. But that may have something to do with the fact that this is a BTS fanfiction and I kind of promised myself to include all seven men. So, of course, there is an imbalance. My concern, however, was coming up with female characters who could be seamlessly integrated into the plot.

(10) I realized while writing this longass series (which I had no idea would be in several months), I would also have to write descriptions of the setting. But the setting also includes the weather. How am I supposed to write about the setting if I don’t even know what season the chapter is taking place? This last bullet point perhaps stressed me out the most. (For some reason.)

1.3.5 Fixing and Creating New Characters

I worked on LOD basically for the rest of April—almost every day. I was really big on weaving the to-fix points into my plot. I remember I made 81 edits in one day trying to sprinkle in bits of the sector stuff. I also changed a lot of the dialogue and the choices the characters made for them to stay true to their character. At the beginning of May, I focused a lot on rounding out my main characters and fleshing out the world-building. I created a money system, which, I have no idea why I made (but whatever. I guess it made my world feel a little more real to me). I added three things to my to-fix list: (1) add more bits of confident yoongi, (2) add more yoongi character flaws (his willingness to surrender/give up), (3) add more yn character flaws (too trusting, overthinks, workaholic). I still felt like my main characters were Mary Sues (except Jungkook LOL). So I realized to make the audience sympathize with them and root for them, I had to make them seem more human by giving them notable flaws. 

I took a break for a couple of weeks and got back on track in the middle of May. On May 18th, the Lieutenant of the Solarian Army Kang Doyun was born. I didn’t really know much about her other than the fact that she speaks her mind and is a generally likable character. The same day I created her, I also decided that ultimately, she has to die. Originally, I planned it so that OC and Doyun do not know each other too well. That would make it easier for OC to take Doyun’s place as the Lieutenant when she dies. In hindsight, I realize that is definitely not how the military works—even in a fictional nation. But we’re going to let my past self be in blissful ignorance. [Which is why I changed it later so OC never becomes the Solarian Lieutenant General LOL.]

May 19th, Hana was born. She was created for the sole purpose of tripping up OC because she’s so similar to Hajin. Immediately, I knew I had to design her as a very likable character. In fact, I added to my to-fix list: make ALL characters more likable/complex. By the end of May, my original 24-page document became 71 pages. 

I worked on the document for three days in mid-June. Mostly, I was working hard to polish up the plotline; my goal was to slowly get rid of all the bullet points from my to-fix list. I worked on the document for one day in July—mainly to add to some important plot points. I think at that point, I thought I was basically done fleshing out the story.

Anyways, the rest of this journal is me doing a breakdown of each chapter I've written in LOD, which can get quite tedious, so I won't include that. Hopefully, this gives you a better background of how my idea came to be and knowledge of some of my pre-writing processes!

I began writing LOD after I settled into my college dorm, and three years later, I'm in my apartment still writing. I will most likely finish and wrap up this story when I soon after I graduate and begin working full-time

[deng-yi-deng]

a quick note on my feelings about the ending of Till the End of the Moon. A counterpoint to those who were unhappy with it (which it seems like many were) - under the cut for the spoilers

Was it a sad ending? Yes it was. Did I cry? Yes I did. I do not usually cry for dramas, but I'm still tearing up over six hours later. Also, I won't be comparing anything with the original novel since I didn't finish and consider them to be totally different beasts.

Some of the critiques of the ending that I'm seeing are along the lines of 'TTJ deserved a HE because he suffered so much' another is 'we don't watch fantasy/xianxia to have to see the terrible suffering we know is happening in the world'.

Those are also things I said going into this drama - and that it sets a bad precedent to always have BE to be 'memorable' or 'profound' and that we could all use a HE these days. But I changed my mind, and therefore was satisfied (broadly) with the ending. (Yes, I have quibbles with some of the editing, but I have for many of the episodes.)

The reason I'm ok with the ending is twofold - one, though it is sad, I don't think it qualifies as a Bad Ending because the hero(es) achieved their aims. Li Susu did change Tantai Jin's heart, and she killed the Devil God. And Tantai Jin had an end to his suffering, and found love - not just from Susu but also from a father figure in Immortal Zhaoyou and from his sect brothers. TTJ's happiness was very short-lived and yeah, that really sucks. But he had the most amazing character arc ever.

His life was filled with cruelty and misery, and he had every reason and opportunity to choose to reflect that back into the world, but he didn't. His love for Susu led him to also love the world. Every good thing he did was a reflection of her, and to try to impress her. He managed to outsmart the Devil God, thanks in part to Ming Ye, and he died knowing that he had won! He had not totally fulfilled Devil God's prophecy, he had taken as much control of his life as he could, and he turned it around - he destroyed the All-in-Distress-Way instead of unleashing it on the world. He also died knowing that Susu understood what he had sacrificed, that he loved her and she loved him and even though she wanted to die with him he was also able to save her!

The other reason I feel this isn't a BE is that unlike some xianxias which are mostly romance focused, TTEOTM was at its heart not a romance. That played an important part, but the main story was about the struggle to save the world from certain destruction. This changes the nature of what qualifies as a BE vs HE. In the Bo're dream arc, we see the 12 gods sacrifice their lives to stop the Devil God. In the end it was Susu and TTJ trying to save the world, together. Their love is an important element, but it's not the story. TTEOTM is high stakes, it's gods vs. demons good vs. evil - and good wins, the world is saved. One individual's life is important, but they are just part of something greater. To focus on a typical married+kid HE for one character seems out of balance.

The drama articulates this point when Susu the goddess and TTJ are on the Celestial Pillar looking out on the world. Everything looks small, mountains are like peas. Only the gods get that view, and even the gods are finite. They are both part of something larger, something infinite. TTJ dies with a peaceful look on his face, knowing he's chosen this end, and that Susu and the rest of the world will go on without him.

The message is also part of the particular aesthetic that TTEOTM cultivates. With the Dunhuang look, they've also introduced Buddhist moral and philosophical concepts into what is normally the Taoist space of xianxia. Suffering is everywhere, the result of karma. The only way to break out of this cycle of suffering is to see and understand the nature of the cycle- at which point you can choose to leave it or stay to save others. (I am condensing an entire religious system into one sentence very badly don't at me). TTJ tricks Susu into following the Heartless Path again and become a god so that she can kill him and end the All-in-distress Way. He chooses to save others by destroying himself. His suffering is ended, along with the future suffering of the people. And it won't happen again. This is huge! 500 years later, the world is peaceful.

I'll agree there are other ways they might have done the end, but I'm personally satisfied with it. And since a little of TTJ's consciousness is in the scale, he could eventually come back. I guess in one version of the script he does, and so some are rightfully upset that was cut.

[tinylantern]

Star's Rune Factory 3 Special 1st Playthrough, Part 3: It's... already nearly over?

So, going into Rune Factory 3 Special, I knew that the main story was going to be a fairly quick affair. That was one of the big things I heard about RF3; it's a good game, but it's not the longest. And I thought to myself "Well, I played RF5 and I'm pretty sure I finished the main story by early autumn of year 1 in my one playthrough. Surely, it can't be as quick or quicker than THAT."

It is, in fact, early autumn of Year 1 and I am just about to rescue Micah's fiancee AKA Shara from Aquaticus.

Knowing that I am very close to the end of the plot, I feel like it is a good opportunity to talk about the story. When I think about RF3's story... it's weird. Vishnal's marriage event comes to mind because the flaws of that event, I feel, encompasses a lot of the issues I have with RF3's plot. I have an older post going over my experience watching Vishnal's marriage event via YT, but to explain its biggest issue; it's short. I don't know if it's THE shortest of all the marriage events (I've still haven't gotten around to watching Forte's, Margaret's, Clorica's, Doug's, and Dylas'), but it is the shortest of the ones I have seen so far. And because it is so short, everything in that event comes in rapid fire--the plot, the emotions, Vishnal's proposal, the resolution--and so for what is there, it never feels like there's enough time to enjoy a scene and let it set in before the next thing happens.

That is essentially what happens with Rune Factory 3. The game has an incredibly good plot in concept, but because it's so short and things happen so quickly, it's difficult to appreciate what's there when it's there. For instance, compared to the likes of Frey/Lest and Alice/Ares, there is a lot less mystery with Micah; he starts recovering his memories immediately after defeating the first boss and it's always a sort of "Oh, that happened" kind of deal whenever he discovers an orb that triggers a recollection, even though him regaining his memories should really be that much bigger of a deal (the most emotional memory recovery scene was, I feel, the third where he remembered that he was the one tasked with defeating the monsters causing problems around Sharance, since it plays into the intro to the Death Wall fight later.)

There is also the matter of the Human-Univir conflict, which is its own problem. It's bad enough that it is resolved fairly easily, but the fact that the conflict isn't rationalized very well beyond "The Univir were exiled from Sharance at some point in the past--no one knows why, but the humans of Sharance and the Univir have hated each other since" is kind of... sad. In what I've experienced so far of the series, Rune Factory plots aren't anything to write home about, but... I don't know. I can't say whether RF3's plot turns out to be forgettable, but I can't say anything from the game's main story sticks out other than getting Kuruna to stop being so prejudiced against humans by giving her a handmade bouquet from the residents of Sharance.

But you know what they say; a mediocre story can be saved by good characters! And while I was initially overwhelmed by RF3's cast as mentioned in my first post, I've grown somewhat used to the eccentricities of Sharance by now and if there's anything memorable about the writing, it's how bonkers everyone is while still managing to convey some genuinely heartfelt storytelling. (And according to people on Reddit, XSEED's new translation for Special is apparently toned down from Natsume's original. Geez, I wonder how I would have reacted if this had been the original DS version.)

My favorites are the same as last time and... goddamn, I really do love Shara. Initially I figured I'd be marrying her purely to see if she was as bad as the fanbase makes her out to be and then in my second playthrough move on to a bachelorette I actually feel has genuine chemistry with Micah, but I really do like these two together. Granted, she doesn't have the most emotionally intensive plot associated with her requests (It's more about helping her younger sister, Monica, come out of her shell than any issues that Shara herself has), but she's so sweet and kind, cares for her family, and she loves flowers! I love flowers! And not gonna lie, her manner of teasing Micah and occasional bluntness do remind me of Frey, so that might have something to do with why she hits just right for me.

Girl, plz. You're killing poor boy.

That said, even though I made the firm decision this playthrough to marry her (and we would have had the wedding by now if Aquaticus didn't * grumbles *), there are other bachelorettes that I am considering marrying in subsequent playthroughs, which is pretty shocking considering my track record with RF4S. And by track record, I mean Arthur is the entire record.

Of the other bachelorettes, I've done a fair chunk of Sakuya's requests and I still like her a lot; besides having one of the more "normal" personalities, her love of travel and commerce reminds me a lot of Arthur (even though she's not a workaholic and is genuinely concerned with profits) and I'm liking the progress of her character development through her events. She also has a cute character design, but that's only ever a nice bonus and not something that determines whether I like a character or not.

The bachelorettes I was most skeptical of were Raven and Pia, and this is because I was aware of the fandom's opinions on those characters going in. Long story short: I figured this was going to be another Leon and Dylas situation for me, and by that, you know, I don't dislike either of them, they're pretty neat and I get why they hit close to home for some people, but it got annoying to see them constantly treated as objectively The Best when hey, their writing is not perfect, there's a reason why not everyone romances them; I'm certainly among those people. And at first, I was disappointed. Pia's personality was too airheaded for my tastes, and Raven... I liked her guest appearance in RF4S, but here, she's a straight up tsundere and tsunderes are one of those hit-or-miss kind of characters for me.

In Raven's case, I think I've done at least half her requests by now and by god, I feel bad for judging her so fast. Despite being a tsundere, she actually has an incredibly valid reason for telling Micah to stay away from her; according to her, anyone who becomes close to her disappears and she's afraid of the same thing happening to him. That... that hit hard and even if she doesn't end up being my favorite ship choice for Micah, I do want her to be happy.

Pia, I think, was just an instance of finding her initial personality overwhelming like many others in Sharance. I can't give any opinions on her character arc because I have only done one or two of her requests, but she is very cute. She is often lost in her own little world and tends to blatantly ignore things Micah says, but I do really love her happy-go-lucky approach to life and I unironically find her personal vendetta against squid hilarious. (She and Margaret would be friends.)

That is definitely the benefit of the romance system in RF3S. I'm sad there isn't a true dating phase and you can just go right to marriage once you've gotten the Engagement Ring recipe from Wells and Marjorie, but knowing that I can help these girls with their personal issues without having to turn down a heartwarming proposal at the end of their last request does make me feel a bit better about "hareming" all these bachelorettes. (And I say that as someone who detests harems and prefers a single dedicated romance in any narrative.)

My next post will presumably be my last for this first playthrough given how fast this has gone. I'm still incredibly attached to Selphia and RF4S is still my favorite game of the RFs I have played, but there really is a lot to love about RF3S despite its imperfections and I am already looking forward to my next playthrough. Cheers, everyone! I'll see you next time!

[cosmic-cd]

rotating hazel and leon in my mind again....... but also thinking about hop!!!! (i'm playing SV with him in mind as the protagonist- so some spoilery-ish thoughts on the DLC will be below the cut! i am NOT finished with the DLC, so please, no Indigo Disk spoilers!)

so i'm rotating how i want Hazel's Paldea run to pan out

the focus really ends up being on Hop, because he's the protagonist, but i'm still trying to settle on how much attention i want to put on hazel (and leon) too

i think the way i'm gonna bridge it though is in a few ways-

i already decided i want to come up with a reason to give Miraidon to Hazel, and blend scarlet and violet into a single story for convenience reasons- while i COULD just choose the version i canonically played, i think it makes more sense here to play with the time travel aspect and combine both into one narrative (i.e. both box legendaries, both professors, etc.)

additionally, Sonia is gonna be present (and honestly, i should write her in more so she's not just a background character) and Hop is also still assisting her while she investigates the Terastal phenomenon here in Paldea- which gives Hazel and Leon an excuse to be around as they also help and look into things too

It's a little easier to include them in the main story because Hazel's going to be tackling the gym challenge for the badges (and Leon's also challenging the gyms because he's super interested in getting to battle La Primera herself) while the two of them are assisting teaching at the school (Hazel's working under Hassel as an assistant, and Leon's doing a few different classes but it's primarily Battle Theory with Dendra) they're still chaperoning for Hop, and also suddenly chaperoning for these weird kids Hop keeps befriending, too

(Nemona really wants to battle Leon, Leon's older brother instincts kick in with Arven, Hazel really understands Penny's anxiety, etc)

but the DLC on the other hand...... difficult. i haven't gotten far enough in the Indigo Disk yet to know what the hell is going on with Briar, but i'm thinkiiiing Hazel and Leon would probably be a little put off by her, and the academy, and would probably be doing their own digging while Hop's off learning.. (i imagine blueberry academy itself probably isn't nefarious by any means but i don't know that yet LOL;;;)

that said, on Hop's end, i'm loving imagining him as the protagonist because it??? honestly really works??? going to an academy to work on his education towards eventually becoming a pokemon professor (i'd imagine he'd be on a more accelerated/specialized track)

but uh. also. also the DLC. good lord. with poor Hop in mind, Kieran takes on a wholly different vibe..... imagine going through a difficult arc in your life, being able to get through it with support, and then going on a grand adventure only to meet someone who might as well be you if you took losing a LITTLE too hard....

Hop's still figuring himself out. He's young, he knows what he wants to be but not exactly what he wants to do, and now it's tough because he went through something so similar to Kieran, but between Ogerpon, Carmine and everything else, I can get the sense it'd be tough for him, especially since this is a new friend and he's. kind of on the other side of things now, where he's been considerably lucky, not unlike how Gloria was

but uh!!!!! i need to think about it some more, honestly! i always phrase these rambles as if i'm actively planning on writing it out as a fanfic but it's more me sorting it out in my head LOL;;; i write a little, it's unlikely that i'll end up releasing something (though not impossible, but usually if i write stuff i'll send it to friends and that's about it)

i gotta finish the DLC though, i want to get to what i have heard is a Very Silly epilogue

EDIT: OH YEAH ALSO HAZEL IS PSYCHED TO BE BACK IN UNOVA AGAIN. briefly disappointed they're not on mainland but it's fine because she can now order pizza anytime she wants and she SORELY missed castelia style deep dish pizza.

also if i can help it i still gotta figure out how to throw camila in for either a cameo or joining for the last part of the DLC............