#i am very annoyed; that was egregious

[twig-tea]

Close Friend 3: Soju Bomb Lied to Me

Angry rant time!

I do not like to trash shows for being "not gay enough"; I think there's room in the BL sphere for all kinds of stories and I'm really interested in shows that would not typically 'count as BL' getting money and eyes, so I'm pretty forgiving of something being advertised as a BL and not meeting the criteria of a BL. I was not mad at Tunku Drama Shower for One Room Angel, for example, because that show was good and queerness was at the core of the story, and even though it didn't really work as a romance narrative, I'm glad they experimented with it.

However.

HOWEVER.

Close Friend 3 went too far and I'm mad about it. Let me break it down for you: Close Friend is a franchise that started in 2021; VIU hired a bunch of established pairs from other shows and got them to each do a microseries to see what stuck. The tagline was "six different pairs of men, six different forms of love". Then in Close Friend 2 the two most popular couples (Ohm & Fluke from Until We Meet Again, and Kimmon and Copter from 2 Moons and Gen Y) got a sequel series, in which their characters were put into the same universe, and we had essentially two BL couples co-heading the miniseries. And while Close Friend 1 and 2 aired on Viki, Close Friend 3 was picked up by the queer content distributor GagaOOLala.

All that's to say Close Friend 3: Soju Bomb is the third entry into a franchise that to date has been romance narratives featuring exclusively m/m couples, and is airing on a queer platform, has only the guys in the series on the poster, and has a heart in the logo of the show. And so I do not think I am crossing any lines to say it is a betrayal for this show to not be a BL romance, which it decidedly is NOT.

[Just to underscore that it makes no sense why this is "Close Friend 3": While all 6 of the microseries in S1 were unrelated, the stories that were in S2 were related and were sequels to S1. So it's REALLY strange that S3 had not a single callback to S1 or 2--especially since in those earlier seasons, Ohm played a music producer, so it would have been really easy to even just mention his character in a show about aspiring music artists. They didn't even try.]

Not only is this show not a BL in the more standard ways--it isn't about romance at it's core--but it also is not about androsexual men (men who are attracted to men). Even more egregiously, there is a kiss that it teases for several episodes, but that kiss turns out to be a drunken "I love my buddies" kiss that everyone agrees is no big deal once it's revealed.

At my most generous, one of these characters could be said to have maybe had some kind of questioning/queer awakening occur as a result of the kisses. He was ruminating on his flashes of memory, and clearly has a reaction to hearing about how difficult life was for the lesbian couple that felt personal. But it's not a central core of the narrative, and as soon as he remembers what happened and the band members have the conversation in which they agree they're just friends (and they joke that one day having a cush on him is possible), that thread drops. If he does remain questioning his sexuality (which, by the way, it was never clear he was doing in the first place--he says in the show that he was concerned about the fact that he kissed them and their reception of him afterwards. The actor definitely played it like he was queer, but the show does nothing to make that explicit), it does not remain a concern of the show and is never brought up again, not even in non-romantic context e.g. concerns about his future if he were to try to debut as a (closeted or out) KPop idol.

Meanwhile there are two heterosexual romances as subplots of this story (one of which is with their manager, and as trainees that is potentially exploitative but never treated as a problem by the show). There is also an older lesbian couple which would be extremely cute except one of them is dead (side-eyeing you, My Strawberry Film, for contributing to this becoming a pattern I hate).

There is also a "shippable" couple in the show that the show makes clear is not a couple because one of them is in one of the heterosexual couples I mentioned above. Seeing these two sometimes hit BL beats while knowing they're not going anywhere was frustrating and felt like salt in the wound.

By setting up audience expectations that this would be a BL story and then betraying those expectations (and in fact laughing at them), this show has done itself a serious disservice. If they had billed this as a general Thai/Korean crossover about Thai Kpop trainees who are filmed in some pretty iconic spots in Korea (e.g. most KPop listeners and kdrama watchers will recognize Yongma Land) where they explore their friendship, their reasons for wanting to debut, and their feelings around the restrictions that the company has placed them under for years just to abandon them, I'd have been on board, and said they did a decent job. The ending was a little pat (particularly the idea that anything at these companies would change), it didn't take things that it set up as serious very seriously, and the character arcs were not very strong, but I was entertained at some of the twists and the reveal of what happened during their blackout drunk night (Gaga in their listing compares this show to The Hangover and it's a similar premise), the friendships were solid, and it was very pretty; in other circumstances I'd happily say watch if you're bored or something specific in the show appeals to you (if you like The Hangover; if you like good cinematography and unusual locations; if you like boyband stories, as examples).

As it stands, I am now upset, will never recommend this to anyone, and these creators are on notice (the cinematographer, Job, was also involved in The Shipper and Our Days, so he is on my List. How dare this man continue to use his talents for shows that don't deserve them. The Trainee better be stunning, that's all I'll say about him. The screenwriter Rose is new so she gets a warning, and the director is Yoo who also directed 55:15 Never Too Late, which was ok so he also gets a warning).

TL;DR This show should never have been marketed as a BL. I do not enjoy being set up for disappointment or for queer stories to be sidelined in ostensibly queer content (same complaint I have about My Strawberry Film). This approach did this show no favours at all, and it means I cannot recommend it.

[literaila]

Please give us another day in the life of reader and gojo I love them too much 🙏😔

“gojo satoru.”

satoru hangs his head over the couch armrest, a brilliant smile lighting up his face. “hello, wifey.”

he makes grabby hands at you, but you push him away, frown strong enough to burn down buildings. you’ve lived with megumi for nine years—you’ve learned well.

“why am i getting texts from yaga, shoko, and nanami about you?”

“planning my birthday party?”

“it’s august.”

“must be a big party. now c’mere, i haven’t seen you all day.”

you realize, then, that you’re standing far too close to him. satoru’s arms are egregiously long, and built only to annoy you. he tugs at your pants, entirely too strong.

“stop,” you shake your head at him, slapping his hands away. “not until you tell me what you did.”

satoru huffs, falling limp. “why did i have to do something?”

“are you kidding?”

“shouldn’t you be on my side?” he pouts, sitting up so he can plead at you. “isn’t that in the marriage vows?”

“it’s sickness and health, not stupidity and recklessness.”

“that’s just mean.”

you poke his forehead and he falls backward—very dramatically, just so we’re clear. “tell me what you did, gojo.”

satoru flips around, looking dejected. and maybe it’s a bit cruel to ruin his happy, clingy mood. but you know what else can ruin your mood? getting texted by your coworkers the entire day about your idiotic husband.

“if they’re texting you then you already know,” he mumbles, into the side of the couch, like a child.

you just stare at him, deadpan expression on your face, tapping your foot incessantly.

(it’s the same look you give megumi and tsumiki when they’re fighting over something inconsequential).

“oh, put that away,” satoru complains, waving his hands at you. “that’s only for the kids.”

“when you start acting like an adult, maybe i’ll start treating you like one.”

satoru scoffs. “all of you guys are just lame. you’ve never experienced any joy. don’t you want the children to be happy? can’t you allow them some—“

“i feel joy every time i get to pull your hair,” you tell him, leaning over the couch so that you can do it. “now fess up.”

you’re perched over him, knees on either side of his body, almost sitting on his back. and you can’t get a complete view of his face from here, but you know enough—have had enough satoru—to guess every expression.

he frowns, waiting for something to come same him—like an excuse, or a saving grace—and when it doesn’t, he says: “i don’t see what’s so wrong with taking the first years out for dinner.”

you lean back on the armrest, staring at him. “where’d you take them?”

“twenty-four hour ramen shop.”

you pause, inspecting the side of his face. “when did you take them, satoru?”

“…the night you were gone last week.”

“what time?”

“well, time is relative, so—“ satoru gives you a little, completely guilty, grin. he’s turned around to try and ease the blame with his face.

“what time?” you repeat.

“just like… three-thirty in the morning.”

you slap your forehead and groan automatically. no, really. your body has an instinctual reaction to all things satoru.

“they were hungry!” he protests. “and i missed you. you know how quiet it gets around here. do you just expect me to lay around all by myself?”

“taking the first years to dinner is fine,” you tell him, leaning over to him, hands in his hair, so you’re face to face, making direct eye contact. “nice, even. but they have a curfew, satoru.”

“well, what’s up with that? it’s pointless. we didn’t have a curfew.”

you blink at him. “…yes we did?”

“no, we didn’t,” satoru gives you a condescending look, “we used to leave all of the time.”

“yeah, without yaga’s knowledge. you used to force me to break the rules.”

“no, i didn’t.”

“satoru,” you say, shaking your head. “are you being serious about this? because i can’t tell.”

he pouts. “didn’t you like going out with me?”

you laugh, moving off of him so you can actually sit on the couch. your feet ache after a long day at work, and you really would like to cuddle—after an appropriate amount of scolding, of course.

you don’t say anything and satoru sits up, putting his head on your shoulder in a ridiculous attempt to get you to look at him. “didn’t you?”

“no.”

“then why did we do it at least once a week?”

“because you never take no for an answer,” you tell him, as you try to push his head away. but he does budge, choosing to, instead, dig his nose into your neck.

“c’mon,” his voice is muffled. “you liked it.”

you give up—or give in—and string your hands through his hair, trying not to squirm at the ticklish feeling of his breath. “well, i liked that you were too scared to kiss me.”

satoru snaps back, frowning. “i was not scared!”

“then why did it take you nine years to finally do it?”

he crosses his arms, staring down at you, very unimpressively. “six,” he corrects, basically huffing.

“okay, satoru. six. why did it take you six years to finally kiss me?”

he looks away from you, pouting again.

and you laugh, finally, prying his arms from their position so you can lay on him. satoru goes down easily, his hands finding their place around your shoulders, his legs colliding with yours, connecting like a puzzle.

you kiss just under his jaw, your only version of an i missed you.

really, it’s not like you can tell the man without him imploding from the very idea.

“i wanted to make it count,” he whispers to you, “kissing you.”

“that might be the only thing you’ve done right in our entire relationship.”

he pinches your side, but does nothing more, not bothering to argue again. the kids won’t be home for another two days, so it’s just you.

just the two of you, laying there.

still, you’ve grown used to satoru’s methods of distraction—his sweetness, his ability to talk forever.

“if you ever take the kids somewhere after dark again,” you whisper to him, sweetly, “i’m cutting your hair in your sleep.”

“you like my hair too much,” satoru argues.

“it’ll be a punishment for both of us. i can’t let you be unattended for too long.”

“yeah,” satoru nods his head aggressively. “i guess you cant leave me alone ever again. guess you’ll have to stay here forever.”

you snort into his neck and he keeps you there, smushed against him, not caring if you can breathe or not.

still, you can both clearly hear the “guess so,” you murmur into him.

[queermania]

I don't want to start drama and I don't expect you to respond to this but I think you deserve to know what's being said about you. tumblr. com/transfagbenny/738678589192552448/and-id-appreciate-if-we-stopped-using-the-terms

i actually am going to address this because this person has been lying about what's been going on for months and they've apparently been harassing other people for months if not years, so. it's time to put an end to this.

before i start though i want to make it abundantly clear that if you take this as an opportunity to do anything other than block this person, then you are trash. do not send him messages. do not tag him in things. do not harass him in any way. leave him alone. if you need to block, do so and then move on. hate mail and harassment is disgusting behavior and i don't want to be surrounded by anybody who engages in it. and if you do it on my behalf, i think you are worthless and i want nothing to do with you.

so, this is what happened: back in february of 2023, an anon asked me if i had any opinions that would get me canceled with the dean girlies. i replied, "oh now we’re talking!! hmmmm let’s see. i don’t care about benny at all. deanbenny does nothing for me. deanbenny is dust. it is dust. drowley rights forever" and i did not tag it because i'm not an asshole. bear then sent me a message that at the time i thought was funny/cute because his url reflected that he was obviously a huge benny fan. we had a very cordial exchange. everything was good. we chatted a little bit about how neat it would've been if benny had been played by a black actor and how the racism problem with gordon would've been fixed if gordon had been played by a white actor. not all of our conversation is visible anymore (and i also don't think all of it was on this post anyway) because i've since blocked him so his replies no longer show up on my posts. the point is: everything was fine. it was a good tumblr exchange. he continued to follow me. i did not follow him then or at any point.

the problem is that he kept coming onto my posts and into my inbox to try to make things about benny. that is not okay. i had already said that benny was a character (and deanbenny a ship) that i was not interested in. to me, this is an obvious boundary i've established that he repeatedly crossed. it's not an egregious violation, obviously. more than anything it's annoying. what he should've done, if benny was that important to him, was unfollow me and move on. but he didn't and i indulged him for awhile but at a certain point i thought, "okay maybe if i stop indulging him, he'll take the hint." so i stopped responding. he did not take the hint. he got worse and he even started commenting on things that he couldn't make about benny, just to willfully misinterpret things i said and taking them completely out of context. unfortunately, i don't have receipts for any of this because at the time i didn't know it was going to become an actual problem (however I have since learned that this is an established pattern of behavior he engages in, so you can probably find examples on other people's blogs).

it got so annoying, though, that i very carefully broached the subject in a private server with people i trusted. without naming any names or using any incriminating language (i.e. not specifically referencing benny), i basically said that there was someone being annoying about a specific character on my posts and i wasn't sure what to do about it. immediately, a handful of people replied with some variation of "the benny stan? he's been doing that to me too." i do have receipts of this (and an entire server to back me up) but i hope you can all understand why i'm not going to provide those or name names (or ask anyone to get involved publicly). the point is, it became apparent that i wasn't the only one and this was a pattern of behavior. i also learned during that conversation that bear has a history of harassing people and calling someone racist or a transphobe if they block him.

at that point, i decided not to rock the boat. i would just continue to ignore him and maybe he would get bored and move on. well that obviously didn't happen. he kept doing it and as a fun added bonus, he started to make vague posts about me. the thing is i don't actually care if he vagueblogs about me. it's his blog. he can do whatever he wants. it's none of my business. i mean i personally think he should've just unfollowed but, again, his blog, his choice. it is annoying that every single time he would do it, someone would send me a link or a screenshot of him doing it, but that's not really his fault. so, again, i just ignored it.

this is where we get to the incident in question. after a private discussion among a small group of friends, i posted this obviously joke poll at the insistence of @letterstothedevil, a tumblr user who has given me permission to include her in this.

the original message about the poll:

the permission:

now EYE think it's abundantly clear that the poll was a joke amongst friends, but maybe it wasn't, and i'm not going to fault anyone for not magically knowing that. i am, however, totally willing to fault someone for being a gigantic asshole. bear commented on the post and i, admittedly, gave a somewhat dismissive response because at that point i was so tired of him being willfully obtuse and twisting every little thing i said that i just didn't want to bother. he then went and made a series of not-at-all-vague posts calling me racist and claiming that i simply do not care about the racism in the show and it's obvious because i've never ever discussed it on my blog (which is a hilarious lie given that i'd specifically discussed it on my blog with him). at that point, there was no reason not to block him. he was already doing the thing that i didn't want to deal with. so i did. and i thought that would be the end of it.

again, i was wrong.

i then started to get anon messages daily about benny and deanbenny and how i'm racist for not liking benny, etc. this was harassment that EYE was on the receiving end of. nobody else was a victim of the messages i was being sent. they were sent to me and it is not my job to make sure other people are protected from the harassment that i am experiencing. i'm pointing this out for two reasons: 1. because i did try to protect bear from it for awhile anyway. i knew that people would assume it was him and at the time i was still giving him the benefit of the doubt, if for no other reason than the fact that i didn't think he could send me messages since i blocked him. and 2. because when i did finally start to respond to some of the messages, bear acted like he was somehow the victim in all of this (and continues to act that way to this day).

i don't know if bear had (or currently has) anything to do with any of the messages i get (which, thankfully, have slowed considerably). what i do know is that at no point during any of this happening did he stop looking at my blog and vagueblogging about me.

when i finally did answer a few of the messages, bear had a bit of a meltdown about it. i know this because he used a separate account that i hadn't know existed to message me and because he talked to one of my friends about it. (i'm not going to name that person but if they want to get involved publicly of their own accord, that's up to them lol). i'm also not going to share screenshots of what bear said to me because he explicitly asked me not to (it's also the reason i'm not sharing screenshots of the numerous receipts i have of the things he's said and lied about on his blog but, unless he's deleted any of them, you can go and find the posts yourselves.) what i am going to share is that in the message he sent to me, he flat out lied about his behavior. he told me he hadn't been vague-blogging about me, that he would never ever do that about anyone, and that he would certainly never harass someone (all things that i have receipts of him doing).

it took me awhile to respond to this message because i was still trying to be gracious about the whole situation. i recognize that he is much younger than i am and i think it's important for me, as a full blown adult, to take that into account. i had a private discussion with a few trusted friends about how to handle this because it was important to me to not let him off the hook for his behavior and for lying just because he's young. this is what i ended up saying:

his response was to double-down on his lies (while, hilariously, vague-blogging about me and the whole thing) and then go into victim mode about something so completely unrelated and far-fetched that i decided i simply wanted nothing to do with him ever. (this is when he asked me not to share screenshots, so i won't, but this is me saying that i have ALL of the receipts, bear, so if you continue to lie, you will not like what happens.) i blocked his alternate account and tried to ignore him.

the harassment continued. again, i have no idea if he was actually part of it. the vagueblogging continued. he started to do it to other people he associated with me. many of them blocked him because of his behavior. i continued to answer some of the hate i received, continued to ignore and/or block most of it. it got so bad that i was sent seizure bait on more than one occasion, one time bad enough that i actually ended up going to the ER. there are receipts of all of this, too. you can see on my blog the messages i've been sent. i think at one point i even shared a snapshot of what my inbox looked like. i've shared privately with friends (who can confirm if they want to, but no pressure) screenshots of the kinds of messages i get that i don't respond to. the point is, that for a period of months, i was relentlessly harassed. and at no point during this time did i say anything to or about bear (or anyone else). the most i've done is respond to messages that have been sent to me. i've largely sat quietly while this thing happened to me and bear continued to make posts about me and act like he is somehow a victim in this. he's assumed things about me and my identity. he's violated boundaries i've set. he will not let this go. and i'm not the only one he's doing it to.

i'm so fucking tired of it. leave me alone. leave my blog alone. leave my friends alone. leave any and all of the people who have blocked you for your own inappropriate and obnoxious behavior alone. that's it. that's the end. none of this would be happening if you would just respect other people's boundaries. i don't want you on my blog. i do not want to interact with you. i don't want anything to do with you. that's it. the end.

[nerdylilpeebee]

The more I think of episode 8, the more it kinda annoys me.

Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed the episode, but fuck man, does this finale REEK of one of two things: either the show was cancelled, or the writer couldn't think of any way to satisfyingly tie up all the plot threads they set up. Hence why nearly each one got a very quick, very brief "here you go" before moving on the main shit.

Nori and Khan's reunion? Quick, albeit cute scene where Nori acts bashful and Khan thinks she's hot but doesn't quite know who she is.

V's return? Oh look, V's back and here's some fanservice as she's on a raptor like so many of you did in fanarts. Not gonna address how she survived, or how she got this thing to do what she wanted it to, just here you go, she's, back. Anyway, time for fight scenes.

J's reaction to Tessa being dead, something it was subtly implied she didn't know back in episode 6 when she acted confused as to why Tessa wanted her to stay behind? Not even gonna include this, she just implies she's scared and wants to be on the winning side. We'll even toss in her saying she never needed V and N just so you don't notice we've given this character basically no character development and she exists just as a final barrier before Cyn. Please ignore she attempted to kill N with absolutely no hesitation the second set got the excuse to, making it make absolutely zero fucking sense she cared about either of her teammates.

Doll? You get a quick image of her corpse just before the credits. Please ignore the glaring plothole that SHOULD have meant she survived her wounds, since ya know... Uzi does the exact same with a worse wound, coming back from a fatal error simply cuz her core was placed back on her chest cavity... Which was the case for Doll the ENTIRE time she was injured, as it never left her body. (This is the most egregious one to me. No dialogue or nothing, not even a scene of Lizzy, her best friend, looking sad at her death. This was a MAJOR CHARACTER, and all we get to tie up her story is a flash of her corpse to tell us "yep, she's dead folks.")

Ooo, how about how Uzi is gonna resist the solver? You get a quick scene at the start that implies the necklace her mom gave her somehow gives her resistance... Please ignore this has never been implied at any point before in the story and the solver was VISIBLY shown taking over her body while she still had the fucking necklace on in the previous fucking episode.

They even kinda hand wave Nuzi, and don't even give us the long-awaited kiss. I'm not saying it was 100% necessary, but fuck man could it have helped the episode a lot of we at least got that.

... I enjoyed the episode. I did. There were lots of cute moments, the fight scenes were cool, and I loved Cyn...

But by the fucking GODS did this seem like they were just trying to end it with no regard for the story they'd set up. I am 100% in the camp of "Murder Drones was cancelled, they just don't want the backlash that comes with cancelling a well-loved show." The rushed nature of this finale and the fact it was advertised as the "season finale" up until I think episode 7 makes it glaringly obvious they intended to let these plot points breathe. To do SOMETHING that wasn't a rush-job.

Again, for the third time, I enjoyed the episode. I do love what we got. but I will forever mourn what we could have had. If it even just got room to breathe, longer than 20 fucking minutes, it could have been satisfying. It could have tied up these plot points just fine. But it didn't.

Such wasted potential.

[jesterwriting]

empty inbox ya say? Don't mind if I show up!

So, I am a lover of the grumpy x sunshine kinda trope, but I want to hear your thoughts of crocodile having an caotic partner? Always having some kind of prank or stupid joke, just to see crocodile crack a smirk or something, but no matter how much they try, they always fail to so. So, after one day that the little sunshine tried so hard of trying they just pout around croc, and he just to try to cheer up his darling just a little, try to crack one of his own stupid joke just to see them laugh a little and go back into being his sunshine

(if you are not comfortable/don't find the prompt as entertaining, you can skip it tho, okay?)

pairing: crocodile x gn!reader

contents: established relationship, fluff, bad jokes, sunshine!reader, crocodile and his soft spot for you, he acts annoyed but hes entirely smitten i promise

word count: 1.1k words

note: OMG this was such a cute idea!! grumpy x sunshine is one of the best tropes ever, im such a sucker for it. im not particularly good at writing chaotic reader, though i definitely tried to make them quite silly. thank you so much for your request anon <33

playlist: dance the night by dua lipa

To an outsider, your relationship with Crocodile could, very easily, be one of the most confounding relationships one had ever seen. Of course, there had been more ill fitting partnerships out there, but you and Crocodile were close runners up. He was a large, intimidating man, with a harsh expression, and an even harsher tone. When he was displeased, his words alone were enough to rip apart an idiot’s flimsy confidence. Crocodile was a man of wealth and status. The only thing that ran deeper than the promise of violence, was the sand he was made of.

You, on the other hand, were the exact opposite. Bright and full of sunshine, you practically glowed against Crocodile’s side. With a smile so wide, it almost hurt to look at you. There was a softness to you that was absent in Crocodile. There had been more than one occasion where you were seen helping a wayward insect back outside, cupped gently against your palm, or offering directions to a lost couple who ran off in terror when your infamous husband approached. The crowd watched in horror when you scolded him with an elbow to the ribs. Crocodile did nothing but roll his eyes.

When you weren’t helping the lost, with your terrifying husband looming over your shoulder, you were a whirlwind of chaos. Prank after prank on unsuspecting visitors to the casino were done in your name. Nothing too egregious, you never aimed to harm, all you wanted was to make people laugh. A task you succeeded in, at least when you were alone. Crocodile’s unamused expression as he carted you away, laughing uproariously, did little for the mood.

It was only in the privacy of your shared abode did those pranks find a target in Crocodile. You respected your husband’s boundaries. Not once did you consider making a fool of him in public — not that it was your intention, you simply knew Crocodile well enough to know that was how he would take it — nor did you even consider any pranks that involved water. It was a damn shame. A bucket of water over the door was truly the prank of all time. Just imagining Crocodile, soaked to the bone, cigar wet and limp against his lips as he stared at you with such crushing annoyance, was enough to make you snicker out loud.

However funny it may be, your bits weren’t worth losing Crocodile’s trust. Such a thing was a rare gift from your husband, very few people alive had the honor to receive it. With a hint of pride, you considered the possibility that you were the only person alive to say that Crocodile felt safe enough to confide in them. Boy, if that didn’t make your heart absolutely swell.

Your only regret was, no matter how many jokes you played, you never got Crocodile to crack a smile. Even when you covered his desk with sticky notes — “Y/N, you realize you’re cleaning this up.” — or that stupid crank call you did a few weeks ago — “No, my refrigerator is not running, don’t call this number again.” — were not enough to get the barest huff of a laugh.

That was how you found yourself in Crocodile’s office, hanging upside down in the chair in front of his desk. It was normally reserved for when he had a private meeting, but today he was stuck doing paperwork. It was silent, save for the scribble of his pen against top secret documents you weren’t supposed to see, but would be able to look at with a single ‘please.’

“C’mon, you think I’m funny.”

Crocodile didn’t look up from his work as he responded, “I think you’re foolish.”

“Yeah, but I’m your fool.” Flipping around in your chair, you swung your legs over one arm and hung your head off the other. Boredom was not an uncommon foe during quiet afternoons with Crocodile. You needed near constant stimulation to keep yourself in check, and for all the reasons you loved him, Crocodile did, in fact, have a massive stick up his ass. “You’re a king and I’m your jingling little fool. Let me tell you a joke.”

Crocodile grumbled under his breath, but he didn’t tell you to stop. With a grin, you said, “Why did the egg hide?”

With a sigh, he dropped his pen to run a hand through his hair. “Why did the egg hide, Y/N?”

Patting a drumroll against your thighs, you paused for dramatic effect. Seconds passed in silence, save for your palms’ rhythmic song against your thighs, Crocodile’s eyebrows furrowing deeper and deeper the longer you continued. Finally, you blurted,

“It was a little chicken!”

Crickets. Your husband didn’t even spare you a response before his pen was in his hand again, signing who knew what. With a roll of your eyes, you flopped from the chair and onto the floor. The carpet was soft against your palms.

“Okay, that was bad, but you could have at least said something.”

“You’re going to have to say something funny to get a response out of me,” Crocodile rumbled, not even bothering to glance at you while you laid on the floor.

This sucked. You could make everyone laugh, all except for the one who mattered to you the most. A part of you wondered why you didn’t give up. You were sure you were being at least a little annoying — though the smaller voice in your head reminded you that Crocodile was one to request time alone when he was in a bad mood.

“Fine. No more jokes, spoilsport.”

No response. Fine then, at least the floor was comfortable.

For the next twenty minutes, you kept yourself busy by counting ceiling tiles, or by fighting the urge to reach under Crocodile’s desk and steal his shoes. No more pranks, remember, you told yourself. Not until you stopped feeling like a big ol’ pile of poo, at least.

“How do you make a plumber cry?” Crocodile’s voice surprised you after going so long without hearing it. (It’d been thirty minutes, maximum, though it felt like an eternity)

You wet your lips before you responded, already feeling a giggle bubbling in your chest. “How?”

“Kill his family.”

You burst out laughing. Curling your fingers against the edge of the desk, you popped your head into his view, positively beaming. While Crocodile was never one for grandiose displays of emotion, he graced you with one of his rare, honest smiles.

“That’s more like it, doll.”

[gojos-thot-patrol]

hiiii i learned your name Aiden!!! How are you? Hallow i’m the sugu angst anon, sadly not asking for angst because poor sugu need a break and i love him so much so he deserves the whole world, i wanna thank you for writing my requests 🫶

and if you wanna consider 👀 perhaps an au where sugu didn’t spiral into the whole monkeys thing and so he is a teacher just like satoru? and he’s dating reader whose also a teacher, and they’re in a secret relationship that got revealed and gojo feels betrayed LMAO, anddd that’s all, hope you’re doing great! 🫶

Angsty Anon, how are you!? I love your requests, it's always a pleasure to write for you 💙💙 and yeah, I'm Aiden! I'm only now realizing I've never properly introduced myself on here, so, I guess this is my official introduction lol. And of course, I would love to consider Sugu as a teacher, that's so cute!

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Starring Suguru Geto, in a slightly softer world.

Have you ever heard of the multiverse theory? It gets switched around and misinterpreted a lot, but the basic premise of it is that for every possible outcome, there is a universe that follows it. So, for example, if you're on a walk one morning, and come across a fork in the road, you may choose the left path. When you do this, another universe is created in which you choose the right path, and yet another still where you didn't go on any walk at all.

As such, this implies that there are some fundamental truths across all universes. Every universe you encounter will have stars in the sky, and a force of gravity will keep everyone down. You won't find a universe where atoms aren't the building blocks of life. You won't find a universe that doesn't have a sun in its center. And you won't find a universe where Suguru Geto is a morning person. 

He all but yells into his pillow as his alarm sounds off at 5:45 AM. He considers violence, a possible war crime against his phone for committing the egregious sin of waking him up before the sun is even up. He considers aggressively turning the alarm off and going back to sleep, letting the world continue on without him as he becomes one with his comforter. 

And in the end he does none of it. He turns his alarm off like a normal person, and forces himself out of bed at the truly ungodly hour of 5:45 AM. Why you ask? Because class starts at 7 AM, and the kids he teaches are relying on him to show up and be a model jujutsu sorcerer, just like they are for all of the other teachers at Jujutsu High. And just as it is a fundamental truth that Suguru Geto is not a morning person, it's a fundamental truth that he would do absolutely anything for those he loves. And Suguru loves all of those kids, even if they can get a little annoying at times. 

He’s falling asleep while brushing his teeth when he gets his first text of the day from you. A short and sweet “Good morning sweetie 💜” to give him the motivation to push through his morning routine. 

He sends “Good morning to you too Darling 🖤” to you while smiling, finishing up brushing his teeth before mentally preparing himself for the arctic plunge of a shower he’s about to take to finish waking himself up. 

Once he’s dressed and as awake as he’s going to be at 6:00 AM, he goes to check on Nanako and Mimiko out of habit. Of course, he finds their shared room empty, considering they moved into the dorms a week ago when school started. 

“Right.” He grumbled to himself, shaking his head. At this point, it feels like he’ll never get used to them not being around. He wondered how Satoru adapted so quickly when Megumi moved into the dorms. Then again, Satoru seemed to be made for adaptation, meanwhile, Suguru had always struggled more with change. 

Before he could get too lost in his thoughts, A car horn blared through the quiet suburb. “What is he-?!” Suguru snapped at the air before rushing outside and into his friends car.

“What the hell are you doing Satoru?!” He asked, suddenly very awake.

“Letting you know I’m here.” Gojo smiled as he pulled out of Sugurus drive way and onto the road.

“Correct me if I’m wrong, but could you not have just texted me?” Suguru grumbled, “You’re going to wake up the entire neighborhood!”

“My phones dead.” Satoru shrugged. He had a habit of passing out while scrolling tik tok and forgetting to put his phone on the charger. 

“And I suppose knocking on my door was out of the question?” Suguru asked. Gojo clearly did not see the issue with violating air pollution laws, and it was starting to irk him.

“In the rain? No way dude!” He laughed. It was at this point Geto looked out the window. Well shit, it was raining. He was so focused on just getting to the car he managed to miss it. 

“It’s like, barely raining.” He argued with his friend. The white haired main beside him just shrugged.

“Hey man, you’re lucky I give you a ride at all,” Gojo reminded him, “I could just teleport to school.” Suguru would have tried to argue with that, but he knew better than to enter an argument on the losing side. He just sighed and shook his head.

“Whatever man….thanks for the ride.” He added at the end.

“You’re welcome!” Gojo smiled. Suguru sighed as he got comfortable in the seat, leaning against the window. The main reason he got rides from Gojo was so he could take a nap on the way to the school. It was a long drive, and the thirty minutes he spent passed out in Gojos car went a long way to making him not an asshole to his class in the morning. It felt like his eyes had been closed for all of two seconds before Satrou was waking him up, letting him know they had made it to their destination. 

“Good morning Geto, good morning Gojo!” You greeted the men as they joined you in the teachers lounge. Suguru smiled warmly when he saw your face, familiar and bright, even at 6:30 in the morning. 

“Good morning L/n.” Geto yawned as he rushed to the coffee pot in the room, still half full.

“Morning L/n!” Satoru beamed as he sat next to you. Normally, the three of you were on a first name basis, but a professional setting calls for professional dialect. “So, you two do anything fun on your weekend?” Gojo asked. Geto looked at you from the corner of his eyes, seeing how you handled this situation. You would have stolen a glance at him, but Gojo would have definitely noticed that.

“Eh, not much really,” You shrugged, “I went and visited my parents, and mostly just tried to catch up on reading.” That was definitely, 100% not what you were doing this weekend. In actuality, you had spent the entire weekend with Suguru. The two of you had seen a movie, checked out his favorite soba shop, and spent the vast majority of the time cuddled in his bed watching horror movies to get ready for ‘spooky season’ despite the fact in was, indeed, April. 

But you couldn’t say any of that to Gojo. You and Suguru were co-workers, your romantic relationship wasn’t just discouraged and taboo- the employee handbook strictly forbid it. As much as the two of you wanted to tell your shared best friend about the beautiful relationship you’d found, you couldn’t. Mostly cause Satoru couldn’t keep a secret to save his ass.

“Cool! What about you Suguru?” Gojo smiled as he looked to his best friend, deciding for now that professional language was for the birds.

“Eh, I mostly stayed in. I re-watched the scream movies.” He shrugged as he drank his black coffee.

“Isn’t it kinda early to be watching horror movies? Or, I guess late?” Gojo asked. 

“It is never too early for spooky movies.” You said, jumping to Getos defense maayybe just a little too quickly. Gojo raised his eyebrows at you. 

“So I see were feeling a little defensive.” He pointed out. 

“Not defensive, I’m just saying. It’s always horror movie time if you’re not a coward.”

“Hey, I-”

“Uhh, Sensei?” Itadori asked as he popped his head into the door. Immediately all attention went to him, and silently, you thanked the pink haired boy for saving your ass.

“Hey Itadori! What’s up?” Gojo asked, all smiles for his student. 

“I could really use your help with the algebra assignment from last night,” Itadori explained, “I don’t think I really grasp…well numbers.” He explained. Gojo chuckled and shook his head, but didn’t argue cause he, like Geto, knew better than to argue with the truth.

“Yeah Kid, no problem. Let’s go to the classroom.” Satoru said, getting up and letting Itadori lead the way. There was a heavy silence that filled the room after, both of you listing to Satoru’s footsteps until they vanished. Once they were gone, you both let out a deep breath.

“Well that could have gone worse.” Suguru chuckled softly.

“Yeah, that was my bad,” You sighed, “I swear, he looks into the littlest of things.”

“That’s Satoru.” Suguru confirmed with a nod, “Always suspicious of something. Somethings never change.” He shrugged. You looked around, making sure the coast we clear before standing up to give Suguru a quick hug. 

“Ain’t that the truth.” You chuckled. Suguru smiled as he held you close, his mind wondering off to the other things that never seemed to change. The school, sorcerer society as a whole, the way he felt for you- even all the way back in high school. He had a crush on you even before you saved him, and it only intensified after.

Of course, as far as you’re concerned you didn’t save anyone that day in the graveyard. You just talked some sense into an old friend. You would never know just how close to the edge Suguru was that day. How could you? All you knew was that his faith was shaken, and he needed some reassurance. 

He could still go back to that afternoon in his mind like replaying a movie. He could still see the gray skies of fall, heavy with dark clouds. He could still smell the rain water and grave dirt hanging in the air. And could still sense the confusion he felt when you brought him to your best friends grave. He had never met the girl, she had died to a curse long before you enrolled in Jujutsu High. So why were you bringing him here now?

“This is where my friend lies,” You explained to him what he already knew. “It’s been a few years now, but I still think of her every day.”

“I’m sorry for your loss Y/n.” He said the only think he knew to say.

“Suguru, why are you a Jujutsu Sorcerer?” You asked, suddenly looking at him with overly intense eyes that made him feel so small. Why did he was he a Jujutsu Sorcerer? He didn’t fucking know! Especially not anymore. He used to know. But, he lost that direction. After Riko died. After Haibara died. He didn’t know what the point to any of this was anymore.

“Why are you a Jujutsu Sorcerer?” He asked back, not so smoothly dodging the question. You just pointed at the grave.

“For her. And for you, and for Riko and Haibara. For everyone I have loved and will love, I do it to protect them.” You explained it as if it was just that easy. And maybe it was. For you.

“How are we protecting them exactly?” He asked, eyes narrowing in suspicion, “Please, tell me just how exactly we protected Riko and Haibara?” He questioned.

“We protect them in death.” You shrugged, “Honor what they would have wanted. Do you really think Riko would want you to waste the life she so desperately wanted because of her death? Do you think Haibara would have wanted you to throw away all of your potential because some higher ups fucked him over? Or do you think they would want you to live your life to the fullest, and work hard to see that potential fulfilled?”

“I think they would want us to fight for a fundamental change in the system. For a world without curses.” 

“Suguru, you and I both know that’s not possible.”

“But it is,” He argued, saying things out loud he had only thought up until now, “Humans are the only ones to produce curses, you know.”

“So what? You’re just going to kill all humans?” You scoffed at the absurdity of the idea, and he genuinely felt a little embarrassed. “What would that fix?”

“Well, there would be no curses, for one.” He pointed out.

“And what would that achieve?”

“We wouldn’t have to watch our friends and family die at the hands of disgusting curses!” He argued, frustrated that you couldn’t see his vision.

“No, we would just have to watch them die at the hands of other sorcerers, right?” You pointed out. “A world without curses doesn’t fix the cruelty that created them. Curses aren’t what killed Riko, and removing them won’t bring back Haibara.”

“No, Humans killed Riko.” He could still hear that god forsaken cult, clapping away as if a little girl hadn’t just been slaughtered. No, worse. Clapping away because a little girl had just been slaughtered. It was all he could hear late at night. You sighed and nodded.

“That's true. She was killed by a human, who was raised by sorcerers.”

“So are you trying to argue that actually sorcerers are the root of all evil?”

“No Suguru, I’m trying to argue that there is no “Root of all evil.” That it’s all just beings that exist. There are bad humans, of course. Just like how there are bad sorcerers. Everything that exists exists with some good and some bad. You can’t just fix the world with one final, fucked up solution.”

“I just don’t see the point in trying to save people who historically treat us like were fucking disposable!” Suguru snapped, hating that it was starting to seem really hopeless. Were you right? Was there really nothing he could do?

“Sugu, I think you’re getting caught in the details. You’re not seeing the forest for the trees.” You sighed. “ Yes, the Star Cult was full of the most fowl people. And yeah, a lot of humans do treat us like shit. But there are just as many humans who are kind to us. Humans who see their children's cursed techniques as blessings, not curses. Humans willing to die if it means being there for the sorcerers they love and standing by them. Humans like your parents, and my best friend. Humans that are worth protecting.”

“So we have to protect them all just because a few are good?”

“Would you protect a bad person to save me?” You asked. He hadn’t really thought of it like that. It was a moral question he wasn’t ready for, and struggled to find an answer to.

“I mean, I guess I would.” He finally said. 

“Exactly. That’s kinda the point of Jujutsu Sorcery for me. It’s not to protect the world- that’s too monumental of a task even for Satoru Gojo. It’s to protect the ones I love and care for.”

“And what about when we can’t protect them?” He could feel the tears prickle as his eyes now, a stinging that demanded attention. He rubbed his eyes in a futile attempt to make it go away.

“Then I live to honor them, in a way I think would make them proud. I understand where you’re coming from. Heartache is a hell of a thing to battle, and witnessing a young death changes a person. But, continuing to perpetuate that hurt, won’t make it go away. Especially when it comes to such grandiose ideas like “kill all humans!” it doesn’t fix anything. It just hurts the people around you, both with us and departed. I mean, is slaughtering a billion strangers really worth ruining the people closest to you? The ones who love you? Please, don’t let your hate kill you Suguru.”

He didn’t know what to say. But that line rang in his ears. Please, don’t let your hate kill you Suguru. It drowned out the clapping in his mind. Please, don’t let your hate kill you Suguru. It played louder than Yuki telling him that humans were the only ones to create curses, and that he knew what he believed. Please, don’t let your hate kill you Suguru. And it was what was playing in his ears as he stared at two kids in a cage. Scared, alone, neglected. He felt it then, his hate rise up like bile in his throat, threatening to slaughter him. Please, don’t let your hate kill you Suguru. Please, don’t let your hate kill you Suguru.

He took a minuet to breathe. Was killing this village really going to do anything? It would feel good, yeah- righteous even. But there were a million more like it. And he couldn’t single handedly slaughter them all. Not without hurting You, Gojo, Shoko, Riko, Haibara, and his own mother all in the process. Were a billion strangers worth the people he loved? 

“You know, if you don’t want these girls in the village, there’s a better way to handle it.” That night he adopted Nanako and Mimiko. Sure, he may not be able to save every Jujutsu Sorcerer in the world. But at least he could save these two. A few weeks later, that village burned to the dirt in a forest fire, so maybe karma was real. 

The bell ringing broke his train of thought, and snapped him back to the real world. You smiled as you gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. “See you at lunch!” You winked to him as you grabbed your bag and made your way to your classroom. He smiled softly as he watched you go. 

“Yeah, see you then.” He said, making his way to his own classroom. 

Suguru swore up and down his class wasn’t hard. It was classical literature, if ya just read the book, and did the assignments, he was pretty generous with the A’s. It was why conversations like this were always at least mildly amusing to him. 

“I just don’t understand why you’re being to difficult about this” Nobara argued, “It’s just a few points!”

“Nobara, rounding from a C to an A is not a few points. It’s an entire letter grade.” He gently reminded her. 

“Yeah, and what’s an entire letter grade if not just a few points?” She argued back. He sighed and rubbed his temples. Nobara had always been a forced to be reckoned with, and was always determined to get what she wanted.

“Look, Nobara, I’ll compromise with you. You know the big report we have coming up on Fires on the Plain?”

“I do.” She confirmed.

“If you do really well on it, And I mean really well, I need you to make at least an A on it- I’ll bump your grade to a B+” That was where her grade would be at anyway if she made an A on the report, “Sound good?” Nobora grinned like she got away with something.

“Oh yeah, I could do that in my sleep!” She declared, and Suguru had to hold back a laugh, “You’re on Sensei!” She grinned, muttering a soft ‘sucker’ under her breath as she left the room. Once she was gone, Suguru let his chuckle out. It was always fun tricking his students into accidentally taking their studies serious. 

“Whats got you giggling?” You asked from his doorway, a small smile creeping onto your lips from the sound of his light laughter.

“Oh, nothing,” He said with a wave of his hand, “Just my students thinking they’re gaming the system by-” He pretended to check his notes- “Doing the work.”

“Let me guess, Nobara?”

“It was Nobara.” He confirmed, and you both let out a small giggle. You walked into his classroom and leaned against his desk facing him. 

“Very on brand for her. So, have you thought about dinner tonight?” You asked. He smiled and nodded, getting out of his chair to come and wrap his arms around your waist. Was it risky? Kind of, everyone was out to lunch, sure, but that didn’t mean that you two weren’t out in the open. He couldn’t help it though. Whenever you were around, he had to have his arms around you. He didn’t spend almost 6 years chasing your affections to not hold you whenever he could. 

“I have actually,” He smiled, “I thought we could cook something together tonight? I found a new pork belly recipe that seemed right up your ally.”

“Oooo, another night in! How exciting!” You giggled. And you meant it too. While to most people, a night in was a boring everyday thing, Jujutsu Sorcerers weren’t blessed with the luxury of having a night at home promised to them. They weren’t even guaranteed the simple pleasure of coming home at night. So, a night in to the two of you was fun, exciting, and unquantifiably valuable. 

“I thought you’d be excited,” He smiled lovingly at you. You look so precious in his arms. He couldn’t believe something as beautiful and pristine as you found any value in him. That you had found him worthy of the time it took to save him. Suguru wasn’t a religious man, but he thought maybe he could believe in angels if they were half as perfect as you were. He had no idea what he did to earn the right to have you as his angel, but he was so fucking happy he did it.

His swelling emotions got the better of him, and he leaned down to kiss you. A warm current flowed between the two of you, the familiar taste of cinnamon coffee filling your senses as you melted into him. He was comforting and safe, and in his embrace you were almost convinced nothing bad could ever happen. 

“OH, I KNEW IT!” Of course something bad had to happen. The two of you scrambled away from each other, looking at Gojo like two teenagers that had been caught making out in your parents car. It was actually embarrassing. “I KNEW YOU TWO HAD A THING!”

“Satoru, It’s not what it looks like!” You panicked.

“Yeah, It’s not like that, Y/n just…had something on her face! I was wiping it off.”

“With your mouth!?” Gojo scoffed.

“...Yes?” Someone, take away Suguru’s lying privileges. Your face hit your plam at the lame lie, and Gojo rolled his eyes.

“I’d asked if you guys thought I was dumb, but clearly you do! Why would you keep this from me?” He all but whined as he fully entered the classroom.

“Well Satoru, it’s…well..” You tried to think of something to save his feelings.

“There are celebrity tabloids better at keeping secrets than you Satoru.” Nevermind Suguru, go back to lying.

“Hey, that’s not true!” Satoru said on his own defense, “When Shoko started smoking again I kept that secret!”

“Shoko started smoking again?” You gasped.

“...fuck.” Satoru whispered. 

“See Satoru! That’s what we mean.” Suguru sighed, seeing his job flash before his eyes. 

“It’s still not cool!” Gojo pouted, “My two closest friends in the entire world fall in love and they won’t even tell me! No wonder you guys haven’t wanted to hang out on the weekends. You’ve been together, haven’t you!?” You and Suguru looked down in shame. Maybe it wasn’t exactly fair to keep him completely out of the loop. 

“Do you guys hate me?” Gojo asked, the betrayal he felt seeping into his voice. 

“No, Satoru, we love you!” You assured him.

“You’re our best friend, of course we love you!” Suguru confirmed, “We just also like being able to pay rent!”

“Paying rent is so important!” You nodded. 

“I wouldn’t tell anyone!” Satoru insisted, “I would never do anything to put your livelihoods at risk! I thought you guys would have known that.” He pouted. 

“We do know that,” You sighed.

“Do we?” Suguru whispered, just for you to swiftly pat him to remind him to behave.

“We were just being cautious. I’m sorry we hurt your feelings Satoru.” You apologized as you went to your wounded friend, patting his back for comfort. Suguru joined you on his other side.

“Yeah man, I’m sorry. We’ll try and keep you in the loop about more things, okay?” Suguru promised. Satoru sniffled and nodded. 

“Okay…I forgive you guys.” He said, looking up and smiling at the two of you. “So when do I get to come to date night?”

[sanderssidesthehouse]

Sanders Sides Ranked: Flirting???

Why do I have “For Legal Reasons This is a Joke” stamped on the front here? Because I get to saying some shit later that is NOT meant to be taken seriously. I enjoy saying words recreationally and making bits, not everything I say all the time is an accurate representation of my thoughts or beliefs and I just want to make that clear when posting on the piss on the poor webbed site.

Sorry, Logan. I don’t think he cares actually, but just in case. I would [verb] you. I also don’t think he cares about that, but just in case.

Also after adding the text on Logan's picture I decided I should add a little blurb to every slide so you can tell exactly how not biased I am.

When trying to decide on widespread appeal I had to acknowledge that most people would probably find him kind of annoying, which is his right, for sure, but then I had to gauge how annoying and how much that mattered and it took me a while.

For niche appeal, I just think that most theater kids™ don’t want to [verb] other theater kids™. They do [verb] for sure, but mostly because they can’t get anyone else because they’re theater kids™ and I think other insecure people mostly want to give him a hug.

(I was a theater kid but not a theater kid™, though I knew some. I just want theater kids™ to know it is their right to be insufferable.)

He's really kind of got two tricks, one is being dad and the other is being sad. I think I'd like to give him a Patt-on the head. If you're into that, though, hopefully you're also into frogs.

Look I was at one point part of all four niche appeal groups and I’m still part of two, this may be a targeted attack, but I caught myself in the crossfire.

Putting Roman in there was a joke bc you cannot tell me you don't classify what Janus was doing as flirting and it worked very well on our prince.

And unrelated to the ranking, I just get jump scared every time I see what Janus actually looks like bc he has long hair to me now. Where are his beautiful locks? Who cut my wife's hair?

Ok look. Quality of banter. We ALL saw his episode, ok? That was NOT top tier creative work. Granted he’s been locked in the basement for a long time so it’s understandable, but that doesn’t change the facts. 

For his blurb I was between what I wrote and something along the lines of "I would forcefem him" and I don't think either of those convey to you how not biased I am but just know that I adore him.

I had a blast making this, I kept cracking myself up, which means probably zero other people think it’s funny but here we are.

I actually went into this thinking I would have Logan as the worst and I thought Roman and Janus would tie for best so I’m glad to see we all have the same general consensus. It looks like this list would go Roman, Janus, Patton, Remus, Virgil, Logan.

I did my best to cut out any egregious swearing and anything explicit so I hope everyone can appreciate my sacrifice /j. Thanks for joining me, argue about it in the comments and reblogs. (<- Also a joke, please be nice.)

[bubbipond]

Ranting this late in the day should be a crime but I am exhausted by the people in the BL/GL community.

Have any of you seen those videos on YouTube that are like basically talking about the persons least favorite pairings? I just watched one where they said force and book look too similar to play love interest. I’m sorry but the way that is insanely racist and just not true??? Then I saw in the comment section of a different one people saying that Phuwin should stop acting in bl’s because he obviously dislikes kissing men. Then the rest of the videos are just really bullying these actors. Listen, I’m all for criticism, but these videos aren’t constructive. Normally they are just mean and vile.

There are pairings that I don’t love so I don’t watch them. I wasn’t the biggest fan of Kinnporsche but I promise you I do not go around saying mean things about Mile or Apo. But let me address the ones that I just find extremely rude.

Number one Force and Book look nothing alike. I have never had an issue telling them apart because they have such vastly different features. I think a lot of criticism for them stems from their original series being super annoying and Books character irritating a lot of people. That wasn’t a Force and Book problem that was a writing problem. There is a long history of racism in Asian communities. Where a very popular joke is you can’t tell them apart. I’ve heard it in real life, in the K-pop scene, in anime and dramas, and now in BL, I guess. Now don’t get me wrong, there are actors who I feel would play brothers amazingly because of similarities. But Force and Book are not one of them., at least not in the case of being “almost twins” like this person was saying.

Moving onto the Phuwin comment, I think this one is so stupid because he does not have to take BL jobs. Actors stop doing these all the time. Pairings dissolve and new ones come around all the time. Also pairings dissolve and the actors stop doing BL’s as a whole. We have seen it countless times. so if he really didn’t want to have to have intimate scenes with a man, he definitely does not have to. Now let me say, I do understand the critique about the way he kisses but I don’t agree with it being just blatantly because he is kissing a guy. If you watched him in the non-BL series he has been in, where he has had a partner who is a woman, you would know that’s just how Phuwin kisses. If you were really trying to give good criticism, that has to be paired with you paying attention. If you watch how he talks and how his mouth moves, whether he’s in a show or talking in real life, his mouth movements when he kisses makes sense. Also keep in mind, and this is not a slight at him, but he has very skinny lips. So when he’s kissing Pond whose lips aren’t big, but they’re bigger than his obviously it’s not going to look like he’s doing as much. But to try and low-key say that he has some repressed homophobia because you don’t enjoy his acting is weird. Also keep in mind, and I’ve joked about this before, this pairing almost always end up playing characters where Ponds character is seemingly more into the relationship than Phuwins characters. Not that his characters don’t care, but it’s almost always pond being the character that has an egregious amount of affection for Phuwins character.

I honestly don’t normally watch videos like these, but I clicked on it just because they were discussing a lot of popular pairings. and in my head, I was just like oh you’re doing this for views. There is no way this is for any other reason when every pairing you have chosen to talk about are highly popular pairings. You mean to tell me out of all the ones do you want to talk about the ones with the biggest fan bases and I’m supposed to believe that you aren’t just trying to get views on your page?

This is coming from somebody who doesn’t even particularly love half of the pairings this person discussed. But something I have noticed is that in a fandom/world of media dealing with oppressed peoples, there is bigger critique than in its counterparts. Because not only are these shows about a group of people who have long been suppressed due to sexuality, but it’s also about a group of people who have history of racism against their cultures. It is okay for a series to not be the most expressive and beautiful and extravagant series on earth. It is okay for things to be mediocre at best. Because even the LGBTQ+ community have very very boring stories. That does not make the stories unworthy of being told. We are allowed as a community and as queer people to have media the same way as everyone else. But instead, we get these very dismissive and low-key weird and social relationships in media.

Okay thank you for coming to another TEDTalk…I hate a lot of you and a lot of you are weirdos. (:

[swallowtail-ageha]

Scrolling through your asoiaf tag and you have such good and correct opinions like how can anyone love just Dany or just Sansa or just Arya like how can anyone not see the parallels between Dany and Sansa it makes me feel so crazy like why are there so few people who love all the girlies?? I genuinely love every single female POV character and can’t imagine hating any of them. I mean sure yeah Cersei is a villain but you’re telling me her tragedy doesn’t touch your heart? Watching this woman desperately try to avoid her prophecy as it unfolds before you doesn’t have you in a death grip? Or like are you unmoved by Sansa telling an annoying snotty little boy how brave he is because she wants him to feel better? Dany comforting Missandei when her brother dies? Arya getting to the house of the black and white and immediately thinning to being a man a cup of water (or at least what she thought was water)? How about Sansa telling Joffrey she hopes Robb cuts his head off? Dany sassing the man who wants to open the fighting pits? Arya telling Jaquen to kill himself? Like please come on. All three girls are obviously different but they share so many very endearing traits. I am fiercely holding tight to my delusion that Dany and Sansa will bond over stories and songs and Arya will teach Dany about all the flowers in Westeros and then Sansa will show them how to make flower crowns and embroider little emblems on Arya’s clothes

First of all tysm!!!!

The whole arya vs sansa vs dany fandom fight frustrates me to no end, mainly because all parties involved seem to have little to no empathy to the characters whose stans they oppose. It's all maliciously extrapolating some parts of the text to make them see worse than what they are (ex: daenerys' "if i look back i am lost" getting twisted from "dany knows that dwelling on what ifs and turning your back after you have taken a commitment will only damage you in the long term" in "dany doesn't want to reflect on her past mistakes and will go mad and get stabbed to death" or sansa getting frustrated at sweetrobin being a sign of her being ableist and classist while it's. Just a normal reaction of a stressed and traumatized 13 yo who is otherwise very sweet to her cousin)

For loving the female characters same! Even those who commit outwardly villainous acts do get lots of humanizing moments, Cersei, as awful as she is, is simply a product of the hyper misogynistic society she lives in plus years of parental and spousal abuse (and the doomed by prophecy vibes) and. I genuinely don't get how people can look at the walk of shame and say it's a fitting punishment to her crimes

Overall all the hate for female characters that are more complex or more driven or more morally ambiguous than what most female characters are presented as in other media in a fandom who (supposedly) prides itself in liking morally ambiguous characters is.. frustrating, really. I blame both fandom misogyny but also the GoT series, as it's outright changes in female character's actions and stories to make them look better or worse than what they originally were skewered the visions of almost everyone in the fandom (arya is an egregious victim of this. Scenes such as her caring for Weasel or her befriending sex workers in braavos don't exist and they added that "all girls are idiot" scene that i hate and they removed all her plan to free the northmen from harrenal and she got turned from traumatized child to hashtag no one super cool assassin and her character got straight up murdered in the tv series.)

Oh and also for kickstarting the whole jonsa vs jonerys thing which i'm pretty sure is the origin of the stupid dany vs sansa wars

And yes!! Dany Sansa and Arya should get to meet and reunite! While i do think that there will be some slight tensions between Sansa and Arya because they left on Not So Well terms, they have also matured a lot, so i do think they would have an heartfelt reunion. Meanwhile Dany and Arya could bond because of both their connection to Braavos and Arya's admiration for those who free slaves, and Dany would empathize (and feel a common ground) with Sansa for her being a child who had all her family die and got married extremely young while beeing creeped on by older men, while Sansa, who is shown to admire women like Margaery or Myranda, who are shown to be very keen regarding politics or social issues, something that Dany is

In the end, i genuinely hope that all three of these traumatized little girls get their happy ending and none of them dies, they all are interesting and complex characters that share parallels with each other, and it sucks that because of stupid ship wars or discussions on who would get the throne they get pitted against each other. THEY WOULD BE FRIENDS Y'ALL

[dissectiongirl]

not trying to be hostile or anything i genuinely wanna know, why do you care if people tag your art that way

tagging my art as you/your partner/"me and who" is reductive it's not even a compliment, it's just looking at my art and making it about you based on what you can glean from it superficially, and after being a kizashige artist for 4 years straight and having to deal with the 20-30 kizashige kindaters who liked to act like my art belonged to them it annoys the hell out of me. it's especially egregious now with my oc art even if it's been a few cases because my ocs are based on many aspects of my life and were to cope with a suicide attempt so I am very sensitive and overprotective about them

[ten-cent-sleuth]

I have just finished Chapter 10 of Northanger Abbey. Some thoughts:

I kind of wish I had read this book first out of Jane Austen’s works, if only because I would have related to Catherine more

since I’m mostly familiar with Pride and Prejudice and Emma and Persuasion, and a little knowledgeable of Sense and Sensibility, (I have yet to even touch Mansfield yet, I am so sorry) I was immediately like what the heck do you mean Catherine’s got a brother

who is this man?? what is he doing here???

I’ve read too many P&P fics,,, the state of being brotherless is just so ingrained into the story conflicts and character dynamics in my head, whoops

Mr Thorpe was annoying from the first, and he has only gotten on my nerves even more (and do I smell a fortune hunter??)

Isabella is also hmm

at first I was leery of her and Catherine’s friendship because of how she’s older and more polished; I was sceptical of the sincerity of how quickly they seemed to get attached

also I get the vibe that she’s hiding something from Catherine (has she met Tilney before…?)

but if she’s really James’s love interest, then I see her as more harmless; more of a disappointment, less of a threat, I guess?

still absolutely relieved Catherine’s not overly attached to her now though

Miss Tilney intrigues me

I like her so far

might be my favourite character but we’ll see we’ll see

Mr Tilney also intrigues me but less decisively of a favourable bent

I’m kinda suspicious but idrk why

tryna withhold judgement since he hasn’t actually done anything sus yet (that I can think of)

plus I genuinely enjoy his and Catherine’s tête-à-têtes

so mostly on the fence

I am most curious about General Tilney, idk why but he is piquing my interest

the exposition about the late Mrs Tilney seems very deliberate

the whole family is just intriguing I s’pose ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

loving the writing, unsurprisingly

I put off Northanger for a long time because I hadn’t expected it to be as lighthearted as it is due to some reviews I’d read but

there do be plenty of funny parts

and of course Miss Austen’s characteristic wit is ubiquitous <3

Please forgive me for any egregious mistakes, I am no literary academic and cannot spot themes or symbols or meta details for my life. 🙏🏽🙏🏽

[mlembug]

is poland a good place to be trans?

in australia, it seems pretty good for now.

In general, no. I am handling pretty well mostly because I went through most of the bullshit already, I live in a fairly liberal city, and I work in IT, but I have no vision for the future if I get burned out. I estimate like 90-95% of Polish trans girls have it worse than me.

In terms of recent events, we got rid of PiS recently so there is some win in terms of politics, so at least the most egregious corruption is out, but the other party has been promising improvements for LGBT folk a few times in the past and never did them, the only difference is that the leftists form a coalition with them and another party. Too bad the leftists have the least seats in Sejm out of the three parties, but it's still okay, in that the situation doesn't get worse over the next 4 years than it already is. The worrying part is that there are a few people trying to form the spearhead of the anti-trans movement here, but they're yet a minor drop in comparison to the problems Catholic church and regular right-wingers cause for marginalized people.

The following is a breakdown of how living in Poland while trans is like.

(A quick rundown on "cost of living": Minimal salary: 3221.98zł post taxes; Median salary (estimated): 4692zł post taxes. Renting a room: around 1000zł (plus utilities). Renting a flat: 2000zł and up. Loaf of bread: 2.50-5zł. Apples (1kg): 3-5zł. A beer (0.5l) in a supermarket: 4zł. A beer (0.5l) in a bar: 15zł. A large pizza (40cm): 40-50zł. A new video game or any Nintendo game: 250zł.)

Gender marker change: You sue your own parents for this. This process is significantly less annoying than it was 10 years ago in that the number of documents included is like half as much as it was back then and also you don't have to sue your adult children anymore if you have them, but it still implies outing yourself to your parents and them seeing your medical documentation you're sending as evidence (oh god why). The less the parents meddle the better for you. Your hope is that them putting in time, money and effort to meddle is not worth it, and honestly, even regular garden variety transphobic parents don't do much beside denying during a testimony. Otherwise prepare for years-long legal battle that will exhaust both of you. A judge can also decide to appoint an "expert" to judge the medical documentation, and make it more annoying. Very vague optimistic estimate (no external "expert", which honestly is not a given and cases with no external expert started happening recently) of procuring the documentation (psychiatrist opinion, sexologist opinion, lawsuit costs, that fucking stupid MMPI-2 test) puts it at around 3000zł. No same-sex marriage in Poland means that if you're married you have to divorce before attempting gender marker change process. Changing your gender marker means also your national identity number changes because gender is encoded in one of the digits.

The good part is that you don't have to get sterilized as part of gender marker changed, and no surgeries are required. The bad part is that you can't get sterilized without a gender marker change. Either do it outside of Poland or sue your parents. Also, HRT is required for gender marker change.

Name change without gender marker change: Significantly limited due to vast majority of Polish names being heavily gendered, and you can't assign yourself a name considered feminine. Without gender marker change your best bet is non-Polish names and names that are ambiguously gendered. Some surnames are gendered so if you have one you will likely want to change it to a non-gendered one. You likely also have to provide justification and hope for a friendly clerk.

Double mastectomy: With gender marker changed you can get it for free, though whether it's good enough I have no idea. Otherwise 10000-20000zł.

Hysterectomy: Can't get one without gender marker change. With gender marker changed it's funded by public healthcare.

Vaginoplasty: Can't get one without gender marker change. Out of pocket. 50000-60000zł.

Laser hair depilation: Out of pocket. 300zł per session.

Access to HRT: Wild wild west, no regulations means doctors have their own criteria on what exactly do you need to get HRT. One endocrinologist will write a prescription when you ask for it, on the first visit, another will gatekeep you forever. Obviously do your research. A visit to the endocrinologist will cost 200-300zł.

Fem-HRT:

Estrofem (estradiol pills) 28 pills x 2mg costs 16.23zł. Public healthcare lowers that to 4.87zł. Androcur (cyproterone acetate) 50 pills x 50mg costs 91,69 zł. Public healthcare lowers that to 27.51zł. Divigel (estradiol gel) 28 packs x 1mg costs 41.25zł. Public healthcare lowers that to 24.88zł. No injections, all Polish trans girls go to Czech Republic for these, where Neofollin (estradiol valerate) 5 vials x 5mg costs 115.37 CZK, twice as much as when I bought them in November 2022.

Masc-HRT:

Omnadren 250 (testosterone injection, more specifically, testosterone propionate (30 mg) + testosterone phenylpropionate (60 mg) + testosterone isocaproate (60 mg) + testosterone caproate (100 mg)) 5 vials cost 88.14 zł. Testosteronum Prolongatum (testerone injection, more specifically, testosterone enanthate (100mg)) 5 vials costs 91zł. Nebido (testosterone injection, more specifically testosterone undecylenate (1000mg)) 1 vial costs 520zł.

Access to blockers: Also wild wild west, but I know nothing about how it is because I know no one who is on them. Probably sucks.

Society: more liberal in the west Poland and more conservative in the east Poland (the so called "Poland A and Poland B split")

Systemic discrimination: If you're a trans man after gender marker change and for whatever reason you birthed a baby, you're in legal limbo because you can't be written as neither as father nor mother on birth certificate. The one case I know of ended up resolved by giving up the child for adoption. Bottom line is that pretty much everything sucks aside from HRT access in case you're an adult, which is actually quite decent in comparison.

[sometipsygnostalgic]

The WORST Persona Music

Crossposted from Reddit. Thankfully all the videos embedded properly on Tumblr, so you can have a live slug reaction to them.

Castle - Persona 4

The dungeon music from Persona 4 is hit and miss. The ones in the endgame are excellent, but the first few dungeons have.... really annoying repetitive music.

This track, Castle, from Yukiko's dungeon has a really nice quiet bit which is surrounded by agonizing repetitive synth noise.

The theme for Kanji's dungeon, Sauna, is also really annoying but not as grating to me. It at least feels like it should be suffocating, rather than accidentally being so.

Band song - Persona 4 Golden (Japanese version)

I think there are worse songs in the Persona 4 saga, and all of them are in the dancing games, but what makes this one egregious is you're pulled out of your normal activities to have this band meet moment, and Rise's singing isn't even that great. I do enjoy Laura Bailey's performance, but they didn't do her japanese actress much of a service. It sounds very out of tune.

Mementos - Persona 5

See, I actually like the Mementos more than the Tartarus theme. However... Tartarus's theme at least has the decency to evolve over time. Mementos's just stays like this forever in the original persona 5.

Persona 5 The Royal fixed this by making Mementos's theme evolve. I like Mementos's music in The Royal SIGNIFICANTLY MORE than Tartarus's theme in P3 Reload which drove me mildly insane by the end. It's too short.

Burning Men's Souls - Persona Trinity Soul

The funny part is that there isn't anything wrong with how this track SOUNDS. It's COMPLETLEY fine and a really good piece of music.

What's wrong is the lyrics. Oh dear god. It reminds me of the raps from Adventure Time's episode Son of Rap Bear.

"CHECK IT OUT, IM IN THE HOUSE LIKE CARPET!"

And with that, we can move onto the actually bad songs!

Shadow World (De De Mouse Remix) - Persona 4 Dancing

I have a special hatred for the persona dancing songs that are "remixes" of original songs that just slather another track on top of them. They all seem to be too busy and have the worst charting. Some of them work, like P3D's "Memories of You" Meguro Remix, but... Shadow World De De Mouse Remix doesn't even have any DANCING IN IT! How are you supposed to play to this monstrosity? It has a crappy video behind it instead. 0 out of 10 effort.

Mass Destruction (Remix) - Persona 3 Dancing

I am obsessed with this song. While most bad tracks have the reaction of "oh, I don't want to listen to that one again", this one? It is a masterpiece. Someone really thought that having epic death guitar behind Mass Destruction would make for a good dancing track.

The more you watch this video the more things wrong with it you find. The notes are so intense and almost impossible to hit, but they barely match the music at all. Nothing can path this atrocity. Ken tries dancing to this theme for about 0.5 seconds before he gives up and mashes his stick like an air guitar, and dances to some completely different song. By the end of it, the song has become keyboard mashing. You finish it. Finally you can breath.

I spent so much time trying to king crazy this song. Mass Destruction Remix has taken over my life. I listen to it again today. I end up making this post just so I can talk about it. Don't play Persona 3 Dancing. It will destroy you. All will submit to Mass Destruction Remix.

[tiktaalic]

i want to #VoteMary but didn’t they write bella off specifically because everyone hated her so bad for being a woman (or is that a myth)

I thought I posted it but I didn’t. But yes. Kripke did say fan reception is why they killed bela. And he says his mistake w her is that she’s too aggressive and antagonistic and on even keel and a threat. I think he mentions specifically regretting having her shoot sam. Because that’s Over The Line and colors her perception. But like to me. This simplifies down to bela was killed off because of out of universe misogyny. She’s a fun character. She has characterization.

Mary was created purely so that she could die. Specifically so she could die rolled out of bed in a nightgown pink lipgloss on before she’s stabbed in the abdomen and burnt to death. She is THE little miss fridge. Like. By 2000s goal posts. Bela is an alright character for a woman. By 2000s goal posts. Mary is egregiously misogynistically written for years. Mommy nightgown brutally murdered to kickstart revenge quest. Mommy nightgown who shows up in dreams and fantasies to tell her sons they’re Brave and she loves them. Mommy nightgown fake out version who Zachariah made up to get at dean Before he makes a crack about sleeping with her.

And there are the flashbacks eps which I actually like alright. And then they get CRAAAAAAAAAZY with it and little miss nightgown throws on a robe instead of the nightgown and she ignores her kids and says I am not just a mother because it’s 2016 and women are PEOPLE! And then they kill her again. Which is so hysterically funny I like. Well it sucks so bad obviously but i cannot deny HYSTERICALLY funny to bring her back with explicit intent to flesh her out and make her into something more complex than a symbol that gets flashed every few seasons that died and is fantasized about so we can watch dean hastily wipe away a tear. And then to kill her again. Whejififiriejfj.

Also like. Bela very much has had The Tide Change on her. People in general are like Bela’s pretty cool actually she rocks she’s fun they treated her badly but she’s great and I enjoy her. I look up bela Talbot on Twitter and it’s fancams and bela Talbot my dream girl etc. Mary suffers the slings of the arrow every day. She’s annoying she’s a bitch she’s a Mary sue shes too much of a girlboss she’s a bad mom she’s an abusive parent she’s as bad as John. People HATE her ass. They STILL hate her ass. As SOON as she becomes a person people want her DEAD. still! In 2023! People STILL think she’s abusive and boring and too much of a Strong Woman archetype and that she’s the worst thing the shows ever done. No one is still holding a grudge against bela Talbot. People clock into the Mary grudge factory every day. Still. In 2023.

[utilitycaster]

i am deeply intrigued by and invested in a certified utilitycaster brand roast of rupi kaur

So here is the thing: I don't think she deserves a full roast, and also I have not read much of it, certainly not recently, so it wouldn't be terribly informed.

What it ultimately comes down to is that she got published, at age 22, because she was popular on Instagram, and the vast, vast majority of people at age 22 write extremely annoying poetry (source: I took two semesters of poetry writing senior year of college). If she hadn't been writing poems that were, fundamentally, mediocre but not egregiously bad in the unbelievably narrow sliver of time when publishing companies were looking for anyone with a big Twitter or Instagram or YouTube following and passing out book deals she would have not become known for this; she just would have moved on with her life as "girl who wrote some blah poetry in her early 20s".

I mostly use her as a touchstone for a particular style though that is deeply influenced by like, 2014-ish social media vibes: that all lower-case, heavy on aesthetic imagery, simple language, and weird enjambment choices which again isn't bad but it's very derivative, and tired, and at this point in time reads to me as "this person has not found their own voice and is also not terribly creative."

In the tags I just had specifically the jibe is more about how an overly poetic style in prose meta-writing is often, though not always, an indicator you're going to read some overwrought nonsense. I think there's a place for more purple prose - truly, I do - but in actual poetry I lean more towards a plainer, prose-like style and so when someone goes really hard on a poetic flowery style in prose and specifically in meta or fandom predictions it tends to lose me because this is simply not a good writing style for making an argument. (It also usually loses me in fic unless you're really good because the thing about writing fairly plainly and directly is that if you aren't a great writer it still comes out okay, whereas if you're not a good writer and you start throwing what my sister refers to as "wickety-wack" into it, it highlights every weakness).

Back to sort of roasting though: I do think that Rupi Kaur got praised for being straightforward when that's not unique and plenty of poets did it better, of which Langston Hughes was just one example. One of my favorite poems, which was read at my friends' wedding, is Frank O'Hara's "Having a Coke with You" and it's very conversational and straightforward. Like, the most damning thing I can really say about Rupi Kaur is that she doesn't do or say anything new nor impressive.

[lagosbratzdoll]

Many of you in this fandom overstep boundaries. When I talk about anti-blackness and misogynoir in the fandom in general and HoTD specifically, it is not your place as a white/non-Black person to tell me that “akshually, I don’t think it was anti-blackness. I think the writers were just lazy.” 

That is an egregious overstep, and it annoys me very much. Black people in fandom can have conversations about the misogynoir and we can even disagree, but where the fuck do you, as a white/non-Black person, get off? You not only insert yourselves, but you question the experiences of Black people in fandom as if you have any authority or personal understanding. 

I cannot give credence to the opinions of individuals who cannot even recognise the presence of anti-blackness in their shipping communities. There is nothing you can say that I am interested in hearing. Our conversations are not for you to intrude on, they are intra-communal and I am getting sick and tired of you lot inserting yourselves where you don’t belong.