#I guess that’s all my word vomit

[hogans-heroes]

Me after the MOTA finale

My longest (spoilery) ep discussion yet under the cut:

There was…so much, this episode and I’m still raw and emotional. What a rollercoaster. Damn.

First just want to say we got some scenes we wanted like Crosby losing his shit over the locked supply room! 10/10 loved it and Rosie yelling “coca-cola” at the Russians will never not be funny.

I couldn’t breathe in the forced march. And Bucky’s state is still bad and Gale stayed so close. The prisoners getting shot by their own plane was horrible, and happened a lot. Can you imagine surviving years in a camp just to get killed like that?

The scene where the prisoners are in the train goddamn killed me i was not expecting such a sudden shift. Bucky comforting the one guy who was terrified. Them being convinced they were going to be killed and Gale and Bucky’s little exchange??? Gale saying he really did believe they would be the last two in the air, with that horrible lost expression like a kid who can’t understand? Them saying these years wpild have be hard without the other and they wouldn’t have done anything different?

Omg Gale really did say he’s “in” for an escape just to get Bucky to calm down and not get shot 😭

Gale looks so much younger with his fluffy escape hair it makes me sad, and his heartbroken look when his friend got killed…

Let’s talk about Rosie for a second. That scene of him in the concentration camp was so powerful because there was no words, nothing happening, no action/reaction like so many other films. You just sit there with Rosie and realize. Seeing that writing on the wall was…well of course there’s no words. That’s the point.

“Not even the earth that covers our bones will remember us.” The power of that statement sucker punched me and drove home even more determination to keep doing what I’m doing in historical work etc., telling these stories.

THE WAY I FLIPPED MY SHIT WHEN WE SAW THE COMMONWEALTH TROOPS IN THE LAST CAMP!!???! The Indian and Caribbean pilots??? The Sikhs!?? The Australians!!! The Algerians and French colonials??! In love

The last camp riot when the tanks showed up was SO INTENSE and amazing. And honestly the best symbolism of the show was the Nazi flag getting torn up but the mix of all nations that fought, then seeing all the different flags flying as the guys cheered.

Gale’s longing look when he saw the planes dropping food instead of bombs broke my heart. His smiles getting back in the plane and taking the food, seeing the people happy to be helped instead of scared/angry of being attacked. THIS BOY HAS MY HEART.

Bucky in the tower and in the Jeep along side Gale’s plane was TRAIN SLAM OF EMOTION MY GOD.

OF COURSE BUCKY WOULDNT LET THEM SHIP GALE’S LOCKER

Their smiles in the cockpit together, real, sweet smiles after all this time, and ending with all the planes flying away into that gorgeous sky…I have no words. It’s been such an emotional journey and was a powerful ending. I still feel like I could burst into tears any minute.

[sparring-spirals]

Compromise. Im not going to actually WRITE meta but i AM going to lay out a list of things I'm thinking about broadly and thematically and would probably write meta about if i were properly caught up and informed, but is instead influenced much more by early campaign F.C.G:

**edit: no this is kind of meta again. sorry.

- F.C.G grappling with the questions of: being made. purpose. whether it matters if you find your own purpose if you were made with one in mind and you "choose" something else. Can you actually? Does it matter? Is your choice a choice at all?

- Wanting so badly to heal people and help people and the unique fear of waking up and seeing damage done by your own hands. To the same people you wanted so badly to help. You extend healing and you offer comfort or kind words but all the while, in your core is a tightness. In your core is a danger. How much good do you need to do to get the blood off your chassis? Can you, at all?

- Metal body. Metal hands. A little wheel. You were a turtle once and it felt so wondrous to breathe. You try out tongues or little wooden legs or whatnot but it always comes back to an inorganic metal body and empty insides no matter if youre filling them with liquids or secret goods to smuggle or pastries (faux warmth). Maybe everything like wooden legs dangling off a metal body. All for show.

- A coin in hand. Looking for a higher power. Thinking about choice. Deferring choices.

- You love your friends, so much. You love people being kind to each other. You love your boyfriend and their wonderful way of thinking. You love being alive. Even when you doubted you were at all. You love, truly and deeply.

- Ashton raging at F.C.G for being a martyr. For aching for a good enough reason to get himself hurt or killed or blown up. Ashton looking at F.C.G knowing they're all messed up inside and trying so hard to stop them from letting it destroy them.

- Ashton always worried about how they're always trying to find a big enough cause, a good enough reason.

And so with those things, I remembered about F.C.G:

- F.C.G looking at their friends all down. Ashton laid out unmoving.

- F.C.G with something awful in their core. Ready to spill out. The same something awful they were always worried about. They were always aware of.

- F.C.G always looking for that reason. For that bigger and better cause.

- F.C.G always feeling like they didn't understand purpose, like it was so. unattainable- finally, briefly, startlingly- sure. Finally free of doubt. Their friends down and something awful and destructive in their core and one last thing they can do to maybe make things worth it, and the ability to choose it. They were made for something. They chose what to do with it.

- F.C.G finding that reason. F.C.G making that call. F.C.G thinking it was worth it.

- I think because of him, they succeeded. They won. That is certain.

- I think. "Worth it". Is always a subjective thing.

- I think. A self sacrifice is never just one person giving everything up. A self sacrifice, unfortunately- is one person making a choice.

And everyone else caught, in the blast radius.

[mishy-mashy]

Do you think Banjo is the type of person who hides his problems behind a clown mask?

The guy acts like a bit of comedy relief, but I think he's the kind of person to face his problems head-on. I don't think he uses humor as a coping mechanism. We never see him do that for himself. He's just a loud guy

Look at how he first appears to Midoriya

He's loud, and it steals Midoriya's attention. But he's calling him out on why he's messing up

But as a character's debut, the first things he does are:

Call out Midoriya for trying to do things alone, when Yoichi's first message to him was that he wasn't

Tell him that if he can compose himself, things typically work out

Understands Midoriya's side of things, and tells him he knows (like lacking a mouth)

And once he says those two previous things, he exhales, and his eyes show their pupils properly

The parting advice he gives Midoriya is a reiteration of the second point: It's okay to be mad. What's important is controlling your heart.

Blackwhip is a Quirk that responds to the holder's emotions. Like other Quirks, but Blackwhip goes out of control when the user isn't able to get a grip on themselves

Banjo used his Quirk effectively. He'd have to live that advice to pass it on to Midoriya, back when Abilities were starting to become normal, but Japan was still wrecked. And we know that Quirks are influenced by, and influence, the holder's personality.

Banjo would have to be able to be honest with himself, understand his emotions, and has the maturity to say it's okay to be mad. Just control it.

When he said that for the first time, it actually surprised me. Everyone in fiction or reality says "Don't be mad", but a character on his debut and says it's okay to be that. I never heard anyone say that controlling your emotions and outputting them in a healthy manner is what matters. People just say not to he negative or annoying, because it's inconvenient; but Banjo went past that.

And when he fades, he tells Midoriya he's got this. He reminds him that they're all behind him.

Whenever he speaks, he doesn't make the receiver feel bad, or speak down to them. He understands them, and gives the next step in a familiar, friendly way.

On his debut, he told Midoriya to control his heart, and to remember he wasn't alone. Here, he tells him he should try understanding their Quirks better.

He's actually got a mature way of seeing things. He's an adult, and being the holder between Shinomori and En, he wouldn't be able to deal with either of them if he wasn't mature about himself. Shinomori probably wouldn't choose someone who can't be honest with himself upfront, after spending almost half his life for OFA. And En is young, prone to panic, and a guy who acts like his problems aren't there or funny wouldn't help that.

I can visualize Banjo sitting at a small fire with Shinomori, having an honest, calm talk about life (until Shinomori says the wrong thing and Banjo yells something about it). But not Banjo trying to push his problems down with a hearty laugh, and Shinomori being okay with that.

When Midoriya used his Quirk for the first time, Banjo did get loud at the start, but he did lecture him in a way that was kinda teacher-mentor-ish.

I actually like the way Banjo talks about his observances. He's got the demeanor of a good teacher, he's clear, and direct. He's light-hearted about serious things, but doesn't diminish them. He just approaches it in a way that you aren't feeling the pressure, and can feel like it's possible.

He seems to have this habit of being loud to get people's attention, and simmers down once he has it. He's never indirect or leaving the addressed to figure out the answer on their own, he gives it outright.

When Midoriya used Blackwhip for the first time, Banjo was all "You got it all wrong!" and then explained things. Since he felt himself fading, he could've been talking louder to compensate himself past the daze he felt. To make sure he was talking, heard, and to keep himself awake

When the first Three made the void silent because Kudo and Bruce didn't want to help, Banjo broke it with what Midoriya should do next

When Shinomori got yoinked, the first thing Banjo did was report it in a panic to Midoriya. This just tells Midoriya he really has to be careful now, because OFA can really be stolen. Even if Banjo just panics and doesn't say that aloud

Every time Banjo is facing some kind of problem, he doesn't let others panic too hard. He's not pressuring about problems, and steps back to let Midoriya figure things out.

When Midoriya was running himself into the ground, Banjo was one of the vestiges that didn't show up to tell him to rest. He already understood how Midoriya saw things, and was doing them his own way

Rather than trying to be a clown, I think Banjo is just a friendly person. He's honest with others and with himself, otherwise he wouldn't have been able to utilize Blackwhip right, or be the holder between a sagey hermit and young, scared adult.

[seventh-fantasy]

galaxy-brained mlc take of the day: mlc is wuxia, yes and maybeee not exactly? it very much is a wuxia aesthetically, but it's actually - conceptually - xianxia story in the core. (this is different from suggesting that it is a xianxia show.) however xianxia can (or should) be considered a subgenre of wuxia, not its own separate distinct genre despite the idea of 仙 xian being fundamentally at odds with the idea of 侠 xia, because they both stem from the same belief. (as seen in mlc, it works with the conventions of traditional wuxia aka li xiangyi the sigu sect leader, to get to the real bits of xianxia concept aka li lianhua's story.) so, mlc is wuxia through and through, inside out. send tweet 🫡👍

-

ok wait I can explain

so, this must be premised on the understanding that any discussion of "仙 xian/deities" in this context is only as its abstract idea of living a life distanced, detached from worldly, human woes instead of the possibility of immortality existing in mlcverse. (if you think about the deities in xianxia stories being basically human beings who have cultivated themselves into immortality.)

this is the explanation of xianxia as a wuxia subgenre (古仙武侠) in the baidu article of wuxia genre:

武侠中的侠，是脱胎于墨家“以天下为己任”的使命感；而仙侠的侠，通常是传达着“能力越大，责任也就越大”的朴素精神。侠乃入世，仙为出世，道教阴阳的无情大道（无情指寻求自我的不断体悟，以达精神的成仙，非没有感情之意）与武侠江湖的有情众生，即是矛盾也是循环，象征着太极之道，这也就是为何古仙武侠也属于正统仙侠流派的原因。

rough tl:

the xia of wuxia is born from the mohist ideal of bearing a sense of responsibility for the world

while the xia in xianxia focuses on the idea of "with great power comes great responsibility"

the idea of 侠 xia is secular. the idea of 仙 xian is beyond the secular - it is to pursue a life of suppressing/taming your own emotions (it does not mean to be completely removed of the ability to feel. it's a pursuit of self-realisation that makes one attain the status of a "deity" spiritually.) 仙 xian is then inherently at odds with wuxia jianghu's deep empathy and connection with the secular world, but it's also connected back to it. this is why 古仙武侠 is considered to be a part of the wuxia genre.

the relationship between xian and xia is conflicting because the former is all about distancing yourself from worldly issues while the latter necessitates an active effort to do something about them.

but it also means that both wuxia and xianxia acknowledge this weight of human emotions and connection to the world. it's just their respective responses and the outcomes they want that they differ in. what is the ideal person? wuxia says it's to be someone who can propagate and execute the ideal of doing something about this weight of your connection to the world, while xianxia says it's to learn to be at peace with that connection, and it's ok to not do anything about it actually - which might even be harder than trying to do something. (and focusing on your own cultivation can be a good thing for the world, in fact.)

with this, I hope it sounds less absurd that I'm connecting mlc's story to the concept of xianxia. lxy's life was a traditional wuxia archetype. (I've already harped on enough about how he fits into the quintessential mohist model of a xia leader.) what happens after, aka his journey as li lianhua, is the real story of mlc. it's a breakdown of that quintessential wuxia hero. it is a story in which the main conflict faced by the protagonist is to struggle with all the worldly woes including his own past and the cases' victims, in defense of the serenity he has found in the past 9 years. it is a natural battle to fight for someone such as llh because as long as you're still human, you will face the implications of human connections and the innate feeling of compassion and urge to do something about it (part of this, I guess, manifests physically in bicha breaking him down and the resistance to cure).

and relating that to an excerpt from an article discussing xianxia in relation to wuxia:

武侠剧的精神内核也是仙侠剧的精神内核，而“仙”实际上是实现新形式的“侠”的手段，由此扩展了“侠”的深度和其实施的时空范围。武侠之中的侠义精神，可以强调其自在，更强调其是自为的，前者是需要逐渐成长和觉醒的。然而对于高于人的仙而言，作为上位者的“侠”之精神，则应该是内在自觉且自为的。

rough tl:

the spirit of wuxia dramas should also be the spirit of xianxia dramas. xian should in fact be another way to bring out and explore the idea of xia.

the spirit of xia in wuxia can be an emphasis on the spirit of freedom, and even more so, the idea of agency and autonomy. the former is gained through growth and awareness. but for xian aka people who occupy a realm above the people on the ground, the xia spirit they embody should manifest in their inner awakening and agency.

it goes without saying that nobody is a deity in this show, and never will be. only in ep 40.5 it came so close to possessing that otherworldly, surreal edge, but that's all to it. deities do not exist in the mlcverse.

but but. it's interesting to point out in the ep 3 flashback when lxy walked through town in the aftermath of the sigu sect vs jym battle, commoners were heard describing it as 神仙打架 百姓遭殃 when immortals fight, commoners suffer. of course they didn't mean it literally but figuratively, that those people of wulin jianghu are high above, detached from the people on the ground. which is. contradictory to the idea of 侠 xia to begin with. so... it could even be interpreted that li lianhua living the spiritually "immortal" life embodied the xia spirit even more deeply than he did as li xiangyi the sigu sect leader, the "immortal" in the eyes of the commoners. actual immortals do not have any real attachment to the people, but a cultivated "immortal" does and is destined to feel and learn to deal with it over and over like llh did. it all comes back in a circle indeed.

[kindleaf]

We know each other from NADDCord and I would like to be your friend but I am extremely scared

[ask game]

you shouldn't be scared of me i'll be so frank . i'm like a trembling little dog all of the time and i'm sure id love to b friends!! :-) i . like every freak on the internet. am just very bad at reaching out because i always assume people Don't Wanna Talk To Me Because I'm Annoying. just text me dude...... i dont bite

[xbraveheartx]

Gently considers... Carmeo/Promeo discord server... hmmm...

[ermakeys]

A Rewrite of S3 the Mandalorian

Full disclaimer this is just an idea since I was unhappy/disappointed with quite a few things in season 3. I tried to cover an issue of object permanence (darksaber, razor crest and beskar spear), an idea I saw talked about with the missing children that links up to the sequel trilogy, removed Din’s sudden return of droid hate (why???) and tried to avoid showing that the New Republic “failed” as season 3 seems to be portraying them. Plus the whole Bo-Katan... issue. I will note that I like Bo-Katan as a character, but I think of her an antagonist or even villain (like here). While I am not writing a rewrite of the Book of Boba Fett which is also bad, someone already proposed a very good idea of how that show could have gone! As I wrote this an OC was created and I had fun making her and I wanted to introduce the Protectors through her.

Word Count: ~7,100 words

Pre Season 3

The Book of Boba Fett needs it’s own rewrite, but for the purpose of this piece imagine that Din did help Boba. However, we never see or hear anything about Grogu and he doesn’t come back to Din (yet). Nor does Din find the Mandalorians and have his spat with Paz and the Armorer. What was he doing? Crying somewhere about losing Grogu and helping Peli fix his new ride. Also he keeps the spear because I say so. In the Book of Boba Fett, Din would also mention needing the credits to buy and rebuild everything he lost with the razor crest. So Din helps Boba, but skip 99% of what they actually showed cause ew. It’s Boba’s show and you should treat it that way!

Episode 1: The Apostate 😢

(same title ha!)

Like in the Book of Boba Fett, Din follows rumors to find his covert and tribe. (Same location) They welcome him at first until Din retells his tale and is asked if he removed his helmet. He admits he did. Paz calls him an apostate and a fight breaks out because Din could reveal their location and they can’t have that. Din is pulling his punches because he doesn’t want to hurt them. The covert wrestles him down and take off his helmet as well as his weapons. One warrior finds the darksaber and activates it. A handful recognize what it is and the Armorer inspects it, saying that the one to wield it has the right to claim leadership over all Mandalorians (or some sort). During the struggle, Din asked for a chance to redeem himself in the eyes of his people. That he will take any task. The Armorer takes him up on it now that he has the darksaber. Paz argues against it since Din’s an apostate and the darksaber belongs to him by right. The Armorer has Paz and Din duel and if Din wins, he will be given a mission to redeem himself. After some back and forth, Din manages to win and the Armorer reveals what his task will be. When the covert fled Nevarro, many foundlings went missing. The Armorer didn’t find their remains like she did the others when she remained behind. Din’s task is to find the missing foundlings. Among those foundlings is Paz’s son, Ragnar. The covert had tried to find traces of the foundlings, but only ran into dead ends. They assume the children are gone or dead and are mourning them. They send Din on this quest with the intention of him either finding the foundlings or dying honorably trying to find them. This should be mentioned in the conversation between the Armorer and Din.

Din accepts this quest and limps out of the covert as Mandalorians whisper to each other, some whispering “Apostate” as he passes. He returns to his ship and for extra emotional damage, you could have a few shots of Din staring at little children and him missing Grogu OR him taking out and staring at the little metal ball Grogu loved.

Cut to Grogu arriving at Luke’s new jedi school/temple. Some parts are still under droid construction and there are a few younglings and a handful of adults/staff. They are very welcoming and the rest of the episode shows Grogu being shown around and casual displays of the force. Could even have a few other jedi survivor cameos if you had to have them. (I certainly wouldn’t complain about Cal Kestis...)

Episode 2: The Lost ⛑️

Din returns to a flourishing Nevarro. He seeks out Karga to find out what he knows of the foundlings that vanished in Nevarro. Karga tells Din that the foundlings weren’t the only children to disappear. In the time that the imps were present, several young children went missing. He suspected the imps being behind it, but he could never be sure. Karga tells Din that his best bet would be to ask the New Republic to question Moff Gideon about the children. Karga has a contact on Coruscant that Din can get in touch with and Din travels to Coruscant.

Only to discover that Karga’s contact was demoted a while ago for accepting a bribe. The contact says they can still help, but they need Din to do them a favor first. It involves a bounty and Din goes hunting. While hunting the bounty (“I can bring you in warm or I can bring you in cold”), Din runs into Bo-Katan, Koska and Axe. He’s in the middle of a hunt, so when they call on him to stop, he doesn’t listen. So, they run after him because Bo won’t take no for an answer. They corner the bounty and Din and he demands they hand over the bounty to him since he needs it for his new quest (can even work in an “I like those odds” moment). Bo mocks him that as the wielder of the darksaber he is wasting his time chasing petty bounties in the lower levels of Coruscant for scraps. Din isn’t happy about the comment and asks what her noble reason for being here is. Bo reveals that since she can’t unite the Mandalorians without the darksaber, she demanded reparations from the New Republic for what the Empire did to Mandalore, so she could reclaim and rebuild the Mandalorian homeworld. Unfortunately, they’ve been brushing her off, saying it was the Empire that did those things and not the New Republic. In addition, the planet is known to be cursed/dead. The New Republic has other worlds with dying populations so while they would like to help the Mandalorians it is low on their priority list. She “graciously” invites him to help, Din declines and sneering, Bo demands a duel for the darksaber since he isn’t he ally anymore. Din tries to yield again, but that only makes her angrier. He refuses to fight her and after some more arguing, they part ways after mocking Din some more.

Din climbs back up to the surface of Coruscant with his bounty and looks around, wondering where he is. The bounty helpfully supplies that they are next to the old imperial palace and where the old jedi temple stood. Din stares at it for a while as it is bathed in the red sunset. It looks like it’s on fire in that light.

Episode 3: The Foundling 🔥

The jedi temple is in flames. It’s flashback o’clock baby. The sound of blaster fire and lightsabers. The cries of those being shot and the static voices hidden behind helmets of those that used to protect the temple, the planet and the galaxy. Grogu wakes up from the dream of his past. He shares a room with other younglings in Luke’s temple and new jedi training facility. Grogu climbs out of bed and steps out to look over the temple. Parts of it are still under construction. Luke (if we need to have fake Mark Hamil…) greets Grogu since he was coming to wake the younglings for breakfast and then training. Luke speaks to Grogu about his dreams and that he is concerned. Grogu is seen over the course of the day being different from the other younglings. He is seen constantly staring up at the sky (as if he missed his DAD T.T) and fiddling with his mythosaur pendant. Grogu is both the oldest and the youngest. He reacts in ways that startle the kids sometimes. He repressed his powers for so long so that when he does try to tap into them, the results can be unpredictable. Luke has a chat with him about that when Grogu has an accident. “Did you have these dreams and problems before?” “Patu (no)” “Do you think it had to do with the presence of the Mandalorian? You trusted him, felt safe with him. Perhaps leaving him is making you feel the same way as when you were ripped from the temple.” (Something to that effect.) They return to the other younglings and their training.

Cut back to Coruscant and Din. He hands over the bounty much to the delight of Karga’s contact. The contact takes Din to his supervisor who tells him that this is confidential, but Moff Gideon escaped. Din asks how that is possible, but the supervisor tells Din that it happened. The supervisor gives Din a point in a direction he can try to get more information though. The patrols of the outer rim had been reporting some missing children and one captain had been requesting an investigation and more patrols. The supervisor tells Din to try his luck with that captain.

Episode 4: The Protector 👩🏽‍✈️

A similar opening to the very first episode of the Mandalorian in season 1. Except it’s that beach bar from canon season 3. New Republic pilots are relaxing inside when Din steps inside. It’s tense at first until Captain Teva appears with a comment about meeting again. Din explains why he is here and Teva reveals that they have been trying to investigate the missing the children all over the outer rim. However, many outer rim planets don’t want the New Republic to patrol or investigate them or the inhabitants of republic worlds don’t trust them. The cries for help they do receive are scattered all over the outer rim, but there are too many to be completely random. One of Teva’s pilots went “rogue” to try and go undercover with a mercenary group he thinks could be involved. The mission couldn’t be officially sanctioned, but Teva sent the pilot on an “extended” patrol. However, Teva lost contact with her several cycles ago and is getting worried. He promises all his information and whatever his pilot found in return for Din helping him find his lost pilot. Din agrees and they fly to the moon where the pilot was last heard from.

They land near the x-wing of the lost pilot (it has a Mandalorian Protector symbol). Din and Teva begin to track towards the base where the mercenaries only for them to run into a patrol. Teva and Din fight them only to be joined by the lost pilot wearing Mandalorian armor (hers and she uses it as a disguise for the mercs). They quickly eliminate the  patrol and in the fight Din uses the darksaber. Once the fighting is done the Mandalorian lost pilot points her weapons at Din and demands to know how he got the darksaber. Teva tries to order her to stand down, but she’s not having it. Din reveals he earned it by fighting in a duel against Moff Gideon and her whole attitude changes. She bows to Din and calls him Mand’alor (much to his discomfort) and that she is at his service. The pilot is the niece of Fenn Rau (young barely out of her teens) and following in her uncle’s footsteps of becoming a Mandalorian Protector and she is serving the New republic until a new Mand’alor returns. Din says he’s not the Mand’alor and Teva calls back to the present. Rau reports that she infiltrated the mercs and they had been raiding settlements and kidnapping children. She had wanted to get back to her x-wing to report earlier, but things have been tenser and everyone was being more heavily scrutinized. She reveals that her superior said an imperial warlord was scheduled to come this evening and pick up the children collected so far.

Din, Teva and Rau need to move fast if they want to save the children here now. Rau tells Din that she doesn’t know where the children are taken once the mercs hand them over to the imps. That kind of information would be found in an imp database or cruiser (hint hint Bo-Katan currently owns one of those). The rest of the episode is spent fighting mercs and freeing the children. Din and Rau take care of the close quarter fighting while Teva provides aerial support from Din’s ship and Teva’s and Rau’s astromechs fly the two x-wings. Din and Rau hijack one of the merc’s transporter ships and once they get the kids on board, they get the hell out of there. One of the kids happens to be a force user who helps them get the kids out.

Episode 5: The Challenger 🤺

The episode opens with the beach bar being super busy as kids are being taken care of and sorted. Some are already being reunited with parents that flew out to get them. Din is standing to the side and Rau approaches him with a fist over her heart and a short “Mand’alor.” He tells her not to call him that and they have a conversation about the darksaber, the Mand’alor and the Protectors. Din says he doesn’t want to be followed as Mand’alor, so she asks to join his quest. Foundlings are such an integral part of Mandalorian culture, his quest is important to her. Teva speaks with Din and Rau and says that now they have the proof they needed that imperial warlords are behind the abductions, he could leverage the support he needs to try and track them down better after taking the children back where they belonged. Din accepts Rau’s offer for help and she hands in her resignation to Teva. (Teva asks how he should explain Rau’s resignation when her uncle asked and Rau mentions he won’t because they had a spat about her wanting to follow in his footsteps) Rau mentions again they need to access an imperial database to find out where the foundlings went and Din says he might have an idea for that since he knows which cruiser probably had transported the foundlings and he might be able to gain access to it. Cut to Grogu at the temple. He’s not concentrating on his studies again and gets scolded for it. A ship arrives, drawing everyone’s attention and the force user child that helped Din is brought to the sanctuary. Everyone crowds around the newcomer and the pilot that brought them explains what happened. Grogu is super excited to hear about his DAD (<3). He lies awake later in the night, staring up through a window at the stars. He crawls out of bed and tries to hijack an x-wing (Luke’s). Luke finds him and says he thought Grogu might try to leave. He can tell that Grogu misses his father and is not ready to learn here yet. R2-D2 gets into the x-wing and Luke says to join his father. The temple would be here when Grogu was ready.

Cut back to Din as he and Rau exit hyperspace. They land on a planet where the light cruiser is stationed along with a small fleet of smaller ships. Rau follows Din and is shocked to discover it’s Bo-Katan in control of the light cruiser. She questions if she heard that right and lists several things about Bo-Katan (sister of Satine, member of the Death Watch, the one to lose the darksaber twice, etc.). A lot of things Din didn’t know. What catches his attention is her affiliation to Death Watch which Rau explains to him. He files that away for later and they approach the encampment.

Bo-Katan, Axe and Koska along with several other Mandalorians receive them and Bo says she was surprised Din asked for a meeting. Some snide comments get thrown around. These include about him being a Child of the Watch which Rau counters is rich coming from her. Bo sneers at Rau and says she didn’t ask for a little girl’s opinion. Bo also asks about Grogu and mocks Din about his foundling. Din says he needs to try and access the light cruisers old imperial files. Bo says they are encrypted and that makes them useless. Din says let that be his worries and she counters, they won’t be for free. “The way I see it, we both want something from each other. You want the data. I want a duel.” Din accepts the duel. Over the course of the duel Bo tries to goad Din about his son and being from a cult. She finally hits a nerve and Din who had considered fighting until he could pretend to yield, goes all out and stomps Bo into the ground. Axe jumps in, trying to argue that someone from a backward cult can’t be the Mand’alor and Rau jumps in before Axe can go after a vulnerable Din. Rau announces Din as the victor of the duel and there is a tense silence. Koska finally steps forward and says she will give them the data since Din won. She leads Din and Rau into the light cruiser. As they pass the other Mandalorians, some murmur “Mand’alor” as Din passes, pressing their fist to their chest. Others just watch while others go and join Bo and Axe. Koska downloads the old imperial data onto a disk and hands it to Din, saying that it isn’t easy for Bo to give up being the Mand’alor. Din argues, “I would have just given her the darksaber. I don’t want it.” Koska and Rau both say that that isn’t how earning the darksaber works. Koska adds that Bo’s family were rulers and Bo had been taught to rule her entire life. It was hard for her to be the one to lose it all. Rau pipes up by saying, “The Mand’alor was never a hereditary title.” The episode ends with Din and Rau in their ships and Rau asks how they’re going to get the data decrypted. Din says he knows someone who could crack the code, but doesn’t know how welcome they’ll be.

The Shadow Council ♟️

I liked the Shadow Council scene enough that I would leave most of it. Instead of Gideon checking in with his agent on Coruscant, Gideon is seen in an office of his surrounded by Mandalorian artifacts. He receives a notification that the Shadow Council is assembled and he does the walk over through all those silly red lasers. The council meeting proceeds as usual. Add it either to the end of episode 5 or the beginning of episode 6, depending on how long the episodes are already.

Episode 6: The Return 👾

The episode opens with Din guiding Rau to the covert. On the way to the covert Din tells Rau a list of things she should avoid at the covert (removal of helmet, saying he’s the Mand’alor, antagonizing Paz, etc.). Rau answers each instruction with a question which Din ignores. They reach the covert and the covert greets them with raised blasters. Paz and the Armorer appear and comment that Din has returned not only without the foundlings but with a stranger, revealing their location. Din introduces Rau and holds up the data disk saying he needs a hacker to break the imperial encryption. He turns to look at one of the Mandalorians holding a blaster towards them (the Hacker). Paz scoffs and asks why they should trust Din? He’s an apostate and he’s already failed to return with the foundlings and brought a stranger with him. The Hacker Mandalorian lowers his blasters and asks Din if that data disk can tell them where his child could be. Paz growls at the Hacker to hold formation and Hacker takes a step forward, repeating his question. Din explains that the data disk holds information from Moff Gideon’s cruiser and that if the information would be anywhere, then it would be here. Paz grabs at Hacker to pull him back, but Hacker yanks his arm free and snaps, “If I can break the encryption and find my daughter, I will take that chance.” Paz argues against, stating they can’t trust an apostate as much as he is grieving his son like Hacker his daughter. Hacker argues that they used to trust Din, why should that have changed? “He broke the Creed to save his son and he is working to atone for that act. The Creed should acknowledge his faith for trying to follow it and forgive him for breaking it to save his son.” “Heresy!” The Armorer silences them and asks if Hacker thinks he can do it and he says he can. She allows for Din and Rau to enter the covert so Hacker can break the encryption.

Din and Rau stay with Hacker as he works on breaking the encryption. Hacker has a workshop where he does programming and encryption for the covert. Hacker and Din have a conversation about how Din and the covert has been. Hacker shares a little about his daughter and asks about Grogu. Din shares a little and Rau asks about Grogu. Din admits to missing Grogu and his fingers are tracing the pocket where Grogu’s little metal ball is hidden.

Eventually, Hacker says he’s done as much as he can. The program just needs to run. Hacker invites Din to a friendly spar and the trio goes to an open area of the covert. Quite a few watch as Din uses his spear and then the darksaber when Hacker encourages him because he wants to try defending against it. Din wins and Paz appears making mocking remarks about Din and also Rau. Rau has listened to Din and not spoken up around the others like he’d asked, but it’s visible that she has been angered by Paz’s remarks. Din declines the spar since he just sparred and invites Rau to fight Paz instead. She is startled at first and then relishes in the challenge. “Why…?” “You’re the one who wants to protect.”

The two fight (showcasing Rau holding her own against a larger and stronger foe) and the match is interrupted by someone hurrying into the room and saying someone is approaching the covert. “Who is it? Imps?” “Unknown.” The warriors hurry to the perimeter and after a tense moment, Teva, Rau’s droid and Grogu appear! Teva explains Grogu appeared with R2-D2 and Teva tracked Rau’s droid who brought them here. Paz flips his noodle saying that Din brought even MORE strangers to the covert!!! Din says that Grogu is meant to be with his teacher, but Teva says that in the message he received that Grogu wasn’t ready. That Grogu wanted to be with his father. Din argues, reaching and recoiling from Grogu at the same time. (He knows that if he picks up Grogu he won’t be able to let him go again *sob*) The Armorer shows up and encourages Din to accept his foundling. That his foundling chose the way of the Mandalorian.

Din picks up Grogu and it cuts to Din, Rau and Hacker sitting in Hacker’s workshop as Grogu sits on Din’s lap, chattering animatedly, waving his hands around. Din answers him in a quiet voice like he can’t quite believe that Grogu is back with him. Hacker and Rau fawn over Grogu before they all check in with Rau how she’s doing after her spar with Paz. “Sore. Feels like a rancor threw me through a wall.” The Armorer joins them hands Grogu a more size appropriate mythosaur pendant (that huge thing is ridiculous. She might have had a bracelet sized one lying around) and Grogu puts it on while after a tense moment the Armorer hands him back his pendant. She says they had lost hope of ever finding the foundlings and he has brought hope back to the covert. She gives a side-eye to Rau (as much as one can wearing a helmet) and makes a comment about Din finding a protector for himself. She mentions that things are changing and Din doesn’t have a chance to say anything when Hacker’s tech chimes. The encryption is broken. They sort through the data and find out that the imps had taken the foundlings and children of Nevarro. They try to find out where and find the blueprints of an imperial facility that Gideon built. Tie fighters, droids, training facilities for future storm troopers and a… the Armorer and Rau both startle when they recognize the Forge. Hacker calls up the coordinates of the base and confirm the Armorer’s and Rau’s suspicions. The base is on Mandalore. Hacker and Din say that it’s impossible that the planet was cursed and glassed. Apparently not though and the decision is made to go to Mandalore.

Episode 7: The Fight for Mandalore ⚔️

Grogu is sleeping peacefully (probably the first time since he left Din) and Din is standing over him, just watching. The shot is so that the viewer can tell Din is helmetless, but can’t see his head. Din’s bare hand traces over Grogu’s head and ear before a chime sounds and the viewer can see Din lifting on his helmet (NO FACE). Grogu starts to wake up from the sound of the chime and once Din has his gloves on he calls for them to enter. Rau enters and lets Din know that Bo-Katan was answering the call they’d sent out last night. Grogu starts to crawl out of his bed and Din picks him up. He hesitates a moment before holding Grogu out to Rau and asks her to hold him while he talks to Bo. Rau is surprised and asks that he trusts her with his child? “I don’t need to be protected. Protect him in my stead if I can’t.” (something along those lines of her being a protector, but din can protect himself so please defend grogu instead) Din asks why being a protector is so important to Rau. She says she lost all family except her uncle and she and her culture feel so lost and adrift. Since there was no Mand’alor, her uncle Fenn hadn’t wanted her to become a protector like him, but she had defied him, making her feel a little more lost when he went low contact with her. She had imagined and hoped that a Mand’alor would give her an anchor, a purpose. “So far, I am honored to have been allowed to accompany on your quest.”

Din steps into the forge where the Armorer, Paz, Hacker and most of the covert has gathered. On a holoprojector stands Bo with Koska and Axe on either side of her. Bo is even more bitter than before but reigns in her snide comments a little better this time. She coolly asks what Din wants this time and Din announces what he found on the imperial data disk. That the foundlings and Nevarro children are being held on an imperial facility on Mandalore. Din proposes to join forces to take down the facility. Bo could claim the planet while the covert just wanted their foundlings returned. The Armorer declares that the covert intends to join Din in this quest and save the children. After some hesitation, Bo agrees to Din’s terms. They agree on a time and the Armorer orders for the covert to mobilize.

Cut to Bo-Katan sitting in the captain’s chair of the light cruiser. She is sitting there thinking while some of the Mandalorians around her are chattering excitedly. Koska asks Bo what is wrong and Bo waves her off. Bo leaves, saying she has something to take care of (~foreshadowing~).

Cut back to the covert in full chaos mode of packing up everything into boxes and onto their ships (screw not having ships like wtf was that!?). Din and Rau are helping the Armorer when the Armorer asks if Rau would call in the other protectors. Rau hesitates and says she could try and looks to Din. He gives Rau a nod and tells her to wait at her x-wing since they’re almost done. Rau goes to her x-wing and chickens out with calling her uncle Fenn. Instead, she sends him a recorded message telling him she found the wielder of the darksaber and that they are going to chase of imps off Mandalore. She asks that he join them with any protectors he has. She finishes with an “I hope the battle goes well. I will know you forever.” Din joins her and they both get in their respective ships. Grogu joins Din in his ship. They take off and meet with the covert’s ships off of the ring space station the covert had been hiding on. They enter hyperspace and in a holoprojector call with Bo and her forces, go over the plan for storming the imperial base. Covert will be ground forces while some of Bo’s fleet will draw their attention in the sky and fire relentlessly at the base, drawing their tie fighters.

The episode cuts to the ships meeting over Mandalore. This is the first real full shot of Mandalore that isn’t a projection. Rau comments that it looks nothing like the holoimages her uncle had shown her and the Armorer adds that it looks nothing like she remembered it either. Thanks to atmospheric interference they don’t have to worry about flying stealthily too much and the covert flies in.

The first part of the operation goes mostly well. (Rau and Grogu follow Din) Bo’s fleet starts shooting at the base, allowing Din and the covert to infiltrate the base. They find the beskar wearing storm troopers and while it’s unexpected the covert can take them. They train every day with each other. They know how to take down others and other Mandalorians equally. Especially losers that haven’t been wearing beskar for as long as the covert. After a while it becomes eerie with how easily they are advancing. Then the sounds of fighting outside dies down. Din tries calling Bo to no avail. They press on only to reach a large room open to the sky and the doors behind them seal. Tie fighters fly in and beskar storm troopers jetpack in and Din and the covert get pinned down. Din calls for Bo again and again, that they are taking heavy fire. The shooting pauses and Din looks up to Moff Gideon arriving in his black beskar suit (minus the horns that was a reference to maul before!!??). Gideon is also accompanied by the three members of the praetorian guard. He smiles and says, “Hello Din Djarin. I think you have gotten yourself into a rather dire situation. I think I even sense a certain amount of betrayal.”

As he says that last sentence, the scene cuts to Bo’s fleet retreating back into orbit near the light cruisers and the tie fighters breaking off their pursuit. The scene cuts again to Bo sitting in the captain’s chair with Koska and Axe standing on either side of her with confused/shocked expressions. Bo looks grim, guilty and determined as she stares into the camera before closing her eyes as Gideon says “betrayal” and that is the end of the episode.

Episode 8: The Ruler of Mandalore 👑

The episode begins with Bo-Katan watching her fleet fight the tie fighters. She gets some notification as a chime and orders her fleet to retreat. Everyone on deck looks at her like Bo has lost her mind and they’re confused. Axe demands to know what is going on. Bo doesn’t explain at first just demands that her fighters retreat back to the light cruiser or if they were defying orders. They can hear Din calling for support and asking what is going on. Koska steps forward demanding answers and Bo tells her to back off. Axe and Koska are cornering her for answers until Bo explodes angrily. (I wish) Bo goes on a rant how she deserves to be Mand’alor! She was the one who fought tooth and nail for that right! She trained endlessly for it! First her sister got to rule and now she is being denied that right by some nobody bounty hunter! “Let the empire and the cultists wipe each other out. We’ll deal with the scragglers.” Koska and Axe stare at her like she’s lost her mind. Finally Koska asks, “You want to reclaim Mandalore… by betraying our allies? Our own people?” Even Axe chimes in with, “You know I am loyal to you, my lady and I might not be fond of or happy to be working with the children of the watch, but even I can’t stomach turning on our allies.” Bo calls them traitors and draws her blaster on them. Sides are drawn and fighting breaks out. Bo is forced to retreat with a few Mandos loyal to her while Koska and Axe take over the light cruiser. As Koska and Axe regain control of the command deck, they get several notifications: One that Bo has taken a ship with those loyal to her and is flying towards the surface. Second that they have several ships on approach from outside the system. They don’t know if friend or foe.

Cut to Din and the covert cornered and surrounded by the beskar storm troopers and Moff Gideon. Gideon lords it over them that he is control of the Forge and that he will bring in a new age of Mandalorians and bla bla bad guy speech (explaining also that Bo betrayed them) and he offers them the chance to surrender. On the condition that they all yield. Particularly Din. Din is considering yielding to save the covert while Paz is arguing against surrendering at all. Rau sees a notification on her wrist brace and steps up calling that that isn’t how the darksaber can be won. Only through a duel. Gideon who wants to be acknowledged as Mandalorian and is very clever knows it’s a play for time, but he thinks with his new armor that he can best Din this time. Rau asks Din to trust her and he goes out to duel with Gideon.

Din and Gideon duel and it is very close and tense. However, the duel is interrupted by the arrival of the Protectors as they swoop in and shoot down the tie fighters hovering nearby. The Protectors use a dropship to drop several Protectors and Fenn Rau calls out over an open comms that the Protectors have arrived to help.

Chaos breaks out. The covert charges out as the protectors have broken the imperial formations. Gideon retreats away from Din who wants to charge after him to finish what they started, but the praetorian guard gets in between. Paz, the Armorer and Rau jump in to help Din with the three praetorian guards. Between the four of them they manage to take down the guards. Over comms Koska and Axe check in and announce that they are returning to the fight after taking over the cruiser. The Armorer tells Din to go after Gideon and finish the hut’uun.

Din is followed by Paz, Hacker and Rau as they chase after where Gideon was last seen. They stalk down several corridors and hallways until they find Gideon at one of the entrances to the Forge and the living waters. This entrance has a chasm with a long drop and a waterfall that crashes somewhere far below. Gideon is waiting for them in front of a platform over that chasm. On the platform are the children of Nevarro and the Mandalorian foundlings. Gideon and several beskar storm troopers are holding the children at gun point. Paz and Hacker spot their foundlings and call for them. Gideon raises a hand and informs them that if they come one step closer one of his troopers will hit a button that will collapse the platform. The children would fall to certain death. Gideon demands Din hand over the darksaber and that he be allowed to walk free. Din is willing to do that because the darksaber means very little to him compared to the lives of the children.

(Gideon has the chilren by the way because while he might look down on Hux he does think that he can use these kids and train them into future Imperial Mandalorians.)

Unfortunately, that is when Bo finds them with the handful of loyal Mandalorians she has left. She says she won’t tolerate any rivals to her rightful place as Mand’alor. Din is sick and tired of these two fighting over the darksaber and says all he wants is the children. He doesn’t care who gets the darksaber. He drops the darksaber and kicks it towards Gideon. “Now let the children go.” Bo is swearing that Din made a mistake while Gideon picks up the darksaber. Gideon ignites it with a smile and then says, “No.”

A trooper hits the switch to drop the children and Din, Paz, Hacker and Rau lunge forward, crying out. The supports of the platform are blown out and it rocks dangerously before beginning to fall.

Meanwhile Bo launches an attack at Gideon and their two sides move slightly away from the platform to engage each other.

Cut back to Din and his people trying to reach the children in time to save them. Luckily, Grogu is with them and stops the platform with the force. This gives them enough time to save the foundlings while Bo’s and Gideon’s forces fight. Rau who had been carrying Grogu on her shoulders needs to be careful so she can protect him without becoming a target for the other two forces.

Hacker and Paz move the children away and Din and Rau sprint over to take care of Gideon once and for all. Only a few are still fighting the rest are either dead or heavily injured. Gideon and Bo are fighting in the middle. Rau goes to take care of the remaining imps and to keep the other Mandalorians from interfering while Din throws himself at Gideon and Bo. It becomes a three-way fight between them. All three are tired and exhausted at this point.

Bo gets thrown back at some point and Din manages to stab Gideon with his beskar spear. Gideon can’t seem to believe it before he finally slumps over. Din starts to pick up the darksaber and ignites it in time to block Bo’s screaming attack. She yells at him that it should be hers. He doesn’t want it anyway, he should give it to her!

Din manages to defeat Bo and she’s kneeling on the ground, exhausted and beaten, tears streaming down her face (lost her helmet at some point). Din is tired and upset at this point and says this is all so frustrating. Their people should have been her focus and look at where they are now. Her people defeated, dead or splintered by infighting. The ones that entrusted their lives to her.

Din looks at the darksaber in his hand before he throws it into the chasm, saying he is returning the saber to the living waters of Mandalore. Bo cries out and crawls to the edge of the chasm. “What have you done!?” Din walks away telling Bo to think about what she’s done.

Cut to showing a wrap up of the fighting. The imps are destroyed or chased off the planet by the Protector’s and Koska’s and Axe’s fleet. The foundlings are returned to their parents while others take care of those without. Fenn Rau is introduced in person as Din, Koska, Axe, Paz, Rau Jr and the Armorer meet to discuss what happens next. No one had expected Mandalore could actually be inhabitable. Fenn asks about the Mand’alor and Din says he threw the darksaber away. That he was tired over the fighting for a weapon. Fenn is shocked and says that won’t go down well with the other Clans. (point of conflict for another season maybe?) Axe and Paz aren’t pleased either. Axe and Koska are mourning Bo-katan in a way as she has vanished. Paz isn’t happy, but shrugs it off since he’s happy to have his son back. (somewhere in the background Hacker and his daughter are reunited too) The Armorer says that the last owner of the darksaber decided that was how he would handle it and nothing more could be done. It was lost to them for now. Rau sort of sadly says that she supposes the protectors will have to disband since there is no darksaber wielding Mand’alor anymore. Fenn and Din both correct her that the protectors were more than bodyguards of the Mand’alor. Din reminds her of how she protected the foundlings.

The covert decides to set up their camp in the forge and claim this as their new home for now. Koska asks if her people could be welcome here as well. Paz argues that they don’t follow the Way. Axe starts to get bent out of shape about that, but it’s the Armorer who shuts that down. Not sure about the exact wording, but I would imagine something along the lines of winds of change, they’ve reclaimed a part of their ancestral home and have access to the living waters. They no longer need to hide as they once did. They can be more accepting of other ways as long as others can be of theirs, looking at you Axe. The Armorer looks at Din and adds that some could even learn to walk both ways. Plus it’s nice to have a light cruiser in orbit.

Fenn’s protectors leave to spread the news and discuss with their Clans and families. Rau stays behind and Fenn promises to come to her.

New shot of Din and Grogu having a quiet moment in front of the chasm where Din threw the darksaber. The Armorer joins him and Din says they have a lot of work ahead of them. She agrees, but asks when have Mandalorians ever backed down from a challenge? She says she officially welcomes him back into the covert, but with a look at Grogu says he will probably learn to walk both ways in more than one way as the father of a Mandalorian Jedi. Din asks if he did the right thing to throw the darksaber away like he did. The Armorer is quiet for a moment before saying, “The darksaber had been taken by the jedi a long time ago. We reclaimed it and then it spent quite some time in the hands of those that sought to use Mandalorians as tools for their own gains. Perhaps it was time for the darksaber to be reclaimed by the living waters.” She leaves him to mull over it and the last scene is of him and Grogu sitting together.

Epilogue 🐉

The following scene can either be an after end credits scene or follows the previous scene. The viewer sees the darksaber hit the water. It sinks quickly and far, far below the surface as fish swim by and enters the depths. It gets pushed around by currents and creatures in the water until it reaches a dark area with bubbling and glowing vents of lava. It comes to rest on the bottom of the water near a vent. The viewer then sees an eye slowly crack open and move to reveal the head of a mythosaur as one massive clawed paw reaches out and drags the darksaber into the dark. The screen fades to black to the sound of a mythosaur growling.

[jellojolteon]

Feeling like I have a semi-random $400 expense every month now wtf is with that is that just something that happens when you're an adult?

[solarisposting]

These were both taken around this time in March 2014, during probably the worst of my disordered eating and college era self harm, between my first and second almost* suicide attempts. This was maybe five pounds above my lowest weight as an adult (which was like 145 I wanna say), and I still obsessively thought I was overweight, or god forbid FAT. (I now weigh ~250 pounds and am actually fat now and also reclaim the word for myself etc etc.) However, looking at these pictures, I think I looked underweight for my height and my frame. I wasn't in danger or anything, and maybe this is hindsight talking, but that version of me looked unhealthy for my body. I hated everything about that body and fantasized about drastic, deadly ways to make it smaller.

I struggle with being fat and feeling neutral if not positive about it on a daily basis. But I don't get dizzy and shaky and start hurting from restricting and exercise in tandem anymore. I came across these pictures by chance looking for something else in my files, and seeing my own untreated depression and misery and bodily harm reflected back at me is weirdly affirming. I didn't plan to be alive, fat, unable to pinpoint the last time I hurt myself or barely ate for two days, and six months from turning 30. I'm all of those things now, and most days it feels pretty damn good.

[microwavepopcorn]

[lpdwillwrite4coffee]

;

[niuxita21]

[fully-caulked-wagon]

Yoooo

Guess who finally fucking surrendered and made an ao3 account instead of just lurking in a nameless void forever like a bastard.

[darkforestwarriors]

having conniptions at 3am as I realize that my only fully finished and realized fanfics are a one shot warrior cats vampire AU and a long ass one piece self insert shipfic that no one other than me will ever lay eyes on (probably?)

why am I like this help

[aquatic-batt]

this is definitely gonna come out as word vomit but bear with me I’m trying to organize my thoughts via writing LNEKFJF

I have like two separate ideas for my version of Vanny that I want to try to combine? one is more motive-focused and the other is more action-focused if that makes sense

I’m thinking that maybe she’s been interested in Fazbear Entertainment for a very long time, specifically the animatronics, and wants to be part of the tech team. that’s why she became a beta tester—as a sort of stepping stone to get her up in the ranks to actually work with the animatronics. however, when she was trying to get any position related to the animatronics, she instead got placed as a security guard. she’s relatively pissed off about this but not enough to do anything about it. at first. William began contacting her during beta testing and can sense her frustration and starts feeding into her anger, attempting to make her feel like the company is out to get her and is treating her very unfairly by denying her the positions she wants. this makes her more and more vengeful and angry, feeling as though she has a right to work how she wants and that they just don’t like her. William tries to convince her that if she can bring him to life somehow, he can help her.

this is where the second idea comes in mind—Vanny has to BUILD him a body, Frankenstein-style. this is why she starts killing kids, to try and build William as realistic of a body as possible for him in order to revive him and have him help her get what she wants. this kind of explains why his suit in game has organic parts despite the fact that the original Springtrap suit with his body inside is destroyed. GR Bonnie’s suit would basically work as a shell for the rest of the body parts to be placed in to help keep it al together. Vanny kinda becomes a mad scientist/doctor/whatever. this is where I’m partially torn bc to fit this I think it would be a fun idea if she was very interested in like. human anatomy and really fucked up experiments.

yeah so I’m having this debate about whether she should be someone studying technology which leads into the whole “I want this position and will do anything to get it” route OR she’s studying to be a doctor which leads into her interest in fucked up experiments and knowledge of human anatomy

[jellojolteon]

Observed an interesting interaction that's sitting with me

Was in a public space where a public figure was about to speak, and a security guard was posted where I was at because it was on a balcony with a clear view of the stage area. I had popped over because it happened to be near where I work and I was just curious to see what I could, y'know? So I was standing on this balcony a few mins before the event, and the guard requested that we take a seat (they were available) if we would like to stay. I decided that was a sign that I shouldn't be blowing off my work by committing to whatever probably boring thing was really gonna happen and so left lol.

Of course, that's not relevant, that's just context for the fact that this fellow who works near me but whom I don't know, who had been standing there well before I had been, against the railing, reacted somewhat incredulously to this to the effect of "So I'm not supposed to stand?" and walked away when I was also leaving. Out of earshot of the guard (presumably) he mutters something about it being ridiculous and fine, then, he'd just go find another vantage point, while slamming open the door to the stairwell to leave.

I just. It just doesn't close a circuit in my brain. Is it the shock of being spoken to? Could he not reason fast enough that probably it's easier for the guard to keep track of onlookers if they stay seated and cannot just come and go? Or could he, and felt offended that in the eyes of this guard, by default, he was a disruption (or worse, security) risk? (Wouldn't his anger just make matters worse regardless?)

It just seemed like such a strange level of upset to reach, like in the seconds it took to leave the balcony he'd gone from surprise to anger. Or in retrospect, like he was already primed to be angry.

idk fam