#i am very gay and also very self indulgent

[flownwrong]

chaotic ckr c6d squee propaganda (?) post

This, started half a year ago for @ds30below, was initially a general c6d short reviews post but kinda skewed majorly towards CKR's repertoire and wasn't too review-y. So I gave up on making sense and on including the non-CKR works. I don't know who the audience for this is, because I never give basic details for people who don't know about this stuff but say too much for those who do. I giffed what I could and tried to avoid what I know a lot about but haven't actually seen. Here goes.

Frank's Cock (1993)

Not much to say. It's only 8 minutes, it's beautiful and you should see it if you haven't. I won't spoil the subject, but you can likely guess. Watch it, cry a little. Then go watch some more of Mike Hoolboom's stuff, the vimeo link above is from his channel.

Two X-Files episodes (1994 – 1995)

Well, I haven't actually seen X-files since I was about fifteen and watched the like two seasons, and I remember none of it. I rewatched the two early episodes CKR appears in and they were fun. I did not watch the, the movie or whatever where he's doing the evil gay thing. But really, this one is on the list so I can show you this self-indulgent gif of him being Very Long:

Double Happiness (1994)

You shouldn't watch this one for CKR. I mean, you absolutely should see him here, looking like he's barely out of his teens and playing up the insecure act and having devastating chemistry with devastatingly beautiful Sandra Oh, but this is not why it's great. And it's really, really great. It's touching and funny and sincere. If you wanna have some feels about complicated family relationships and identity and growing up (at any point in life), you'll find them here.

Curtis's Charm (1995)

Don't regret watching it, can't recommend. Not gonna lie, I was emotionally affected. But I usually am by things as in-your-face bleak as this. Mostly, it's trying very hard to be smarter than it is, I think.

However: CKR's One Wild Curl is everything to me (see above, on the right. It was, like, actually curly. I was rendered speechless). And like two seconds of Hugh Dillon made me do a double-take, lol. Incredibly weird knowing this was shot like half a year before HCL began shooting. Feels like it must've been a decade earlier.

Hard Core Logo (1996)

I could make three separate posts about this one, so of course I have no idea what to say.

This one, you should watch for CKR, actually, he's something, but so is every single other aspect of this film. I wouldn't change a thing about it. It hits you like a 16 wheeler. Perfectly cast, unimaginably beautiful, hysterical and melancholy and disgusting and compelling.

Related recs:

A wonderfully fun article/retrospective/interview for its 20th anniversary a while back.

You should also absolutely read Hard Core Roadshow if you enjoyed the film. It's a book documenting the whole thing from conception to release. It touched me for its own sake, not just a backstage glance, full of love for the craft and the people and carrying this tangible bittersweetness about the heightened and fleeting nature of this kind of work.

(here, I feel compelled to include a quote from another c6d-related interview on Slings & Arrows, which I read after the book and went like man, it's really a universal experience isn't it.

Coyne: <...> But I also think, and this is my experience, what we were all experiencing, because we were all talking about our lives, our life in the arts — there’s something very melancholy about doing something you love, because it will never be good enough, it will always break your heart.

McKinney: Or it will be fleeting.

Coyne: It’ll be fleeting. You come together with people you feel passionately connected to and two weeks later they’re tearing down the sets.)

Quotes from the article and the book respectively include:

McDonald: So there was a kind of mutual dependency society with Hugh telling Callum, “Don’t worry, man, I got your back, I’ll tell you how high or low to wear your guitar, I’ll tell you how you should dress, I’ll tell you what you should drink…” and Callum was like, “I’ll tell you what hitting your mark is, I’ll tell you why they pull out fucking tape measures, I’ll tell you why you have to do it again, I’ll tell you about not overlapping dialogue..” and you know they clung to each other, like the other one was gonna fucking save them.

And:

A final gathering at the back of the tour bus with Bruce, Callum, Hugh, Bernie. We listen to the tape of HCL songs, all the way through, one last time. And we belt the words out. Bernie sings loudest, performing for Salerno's camera. Hugh and Callum sit back, looks of sadness. I get the sense that if they could do it, they'd chuck their lives and be Joe Dick and Billy Tallent forever. Callum leans to Bruce and says exactly what everyone else is thinking: "I don't want it to end."

There's much more to both texts than *gestures* the whatever those two had, but it certainly doesn't hurt.

And Xeriscape is the best HCL fic I've read. Granted, I read very few because it's not a source that creates in me a craving for fic. But this one perfectly matches the film's fucked up beauty with its language while also adding a quieter, more fraught layer of humanity that we only get glimpses of in canon and that perfectly fits John. 10/10, would recommend.

Anyway. Watch it. Read it. If you haven't. Otherwise, come scream with meeee! And go reblog my gifs or something. Idk.

Letters From Home (1996)

Mike Hoolboom strikes again, with another short. This goes into the "don't watch it for CKR, watch it because it's great" box. Yes, you will cry.

For Those Who Hunt The Wounded Down (1996)

Another bleak one! It sucked to watch, I mean, on purpose. There were a couple of very effective scenes. I really enjoyed the opening. They say the book is decent too, I haven't checked that out.

Actually, let's just switch back from coherent thought to undignified staring at his mouth with this one. What the fuck is that cigarette thing. I couldn't help myself.

Last Night (1998)

These gifs are not representative of the whole movie. There is more happening than CKR kissing or hugging people. He's also doing more than just kissing and hugging. It's all very... impressive.

Guess who's also here again? Sandra Oh! And say hi to Don McKellar, who is an absolute champion for writing/directing/starring. You'll be seeing more of him.

Another one for the "watch it for its own sake" box. Seriously, that late 90s indie stuff is banger after banger. It's so beautiful! Look at those colours! Look at those shots! It's very uneasy and charming and melanchioly and itself in the best way.

Twitch City (1998 – 2000)

Don McKellar is back to murder you with discomfort! Bruce McDonald lends a hand. Molly Parker is also here. And Daniel McIvor, who'd go on to direct, for example, Wilby Wonderful. It's a party. If you watched some stuff from above (or below) on this list, most faces and names will be familiar to you, tbh (another Hugh Dillon double-take happens).

If you liked Spaced, you'll love this. You might also love it because it commits to its weirdness with an admirable resolve and is genuinely hilarious. (Honestly, CKR's outfits alone warrant a watch.) The idiosyncrasy is definitely Don McKellar's doing 200%. It couldn't be more different from Last Night, but if you've seen one, you'll recognise the other.

Battlestar Galactica (2003 – 2009)

I don't think a person should be allowed to look this pretty in the sweaty-and-dying makeup in that light (this sentence probably looks very weird to those not under the CKR magic spell).

I don't know what to say about BSG because I really, really enjoyed early it initially, but by the middle of S2 it got... well, whatever that was. If you know you know, if you don't, still give it a go. You might get invested enough to suffer through it all, as I have been, slowly.

The unfortunate thing is that CKR got to be there mostly in the "what the fuck" years and not the "wow that's so cool" years. That, as you might be aware, is a pattern with him. But! When he was here, he was so genuinely, wonderfully creepy not in the typecast-baddy way, but in this slow, half-absent way, which really worked. You can also see him tortured a little, as a treat!! <3

Also, a wild John Pyper-Ferguson appears! If you're looking at him thinking you know him from somewhere but not immediately remembering, you'll figure it out, I believe in you. I was very happy to see him.

Wilby Wonderful (2004)

Another win for the put CKR in more good shit team!!! Guess who's here again? Sandra Oh! Also, Paul Gross. Don't watch it for him either though haha.

Another one for whoever wants to look at pushing against the weight of others' (or your own) expectations and growing into who you are or reconsidering who you are or finding meaningful connections with others even when you're kind of a mess and they are too.

Not nearly the first time CKR's gotten to play a queer character, but man, this one really is the heart of the in-universe community, and, through that, of the film. A rare chance to see him so far out of the prickly persona! He's just so solid and calm and there for others in this one and, and soft, ough. It's awesome.

By the way, if any of you have the commentary track or know someone who has, please drop me a line here or on discord (emotionalrisotto), I really wanna hear that.

Supernatural (2005)

I love Supernatural a lot. It was a formative experiences (albeit a very late one) and I owe a lot of my favourite stuff about fandom-ing to the buddies I met through it. I can't believe I'm telling you this (because who hasn't seen it, not because I'm reccing it), but you should really try it if you haven't. It's pretty rad.

I had no idea who this guy was when I saw that episode (the second ever one!), though. I simply cannot fathom what @nigeltde-fic felt when she first saw it. I think I personally got very lucky she didn't combust on the spot. It would've been unfortunate.

On a sillier note, CKR's character has weird tension with both Sam and Dean in this episode, which is par for the course. I personally think they should've... no, I shan't say it. You can probably imagine.

Californication (2008 – 2013)

I haven't actually seen it, lol (and I suspect I won't enjoy it, but I'm very curious and also CKR looks really really good).

The real reason for this one on the list is to share a fic rec. Really, it's a due South F/K fic featuring Lew Ashby. It's ridiculously hot and very satisfying in its romantic resolution, too (but then, I'm kind of big on selfcest. And consensual voyeurism. And pretend relationships when done like this. And sublimated yearning. Erm.)

Shattered (2010 – 2011)

I wish this never happened. I badly, badly wish this never happened. I can't turn back time, but I can warn those luckier than me: do not go there. Yes, even for this dude. You'll sleep better not knowing just what it is he was the EP on. And the only important part — the mascara — can be seen above (yes, the show does look that bad, it's not just the gifs).

Just kidding — I watched it, didn't I? You'll have fun hating it! Just prepare for industrial grade cringe, lower your expectations (No, lower. No, still lower than that. And just a bit more.) and you'll have a great time!

Star trek: Discovery (2024)

Or, as I call it, Star Trek: The Mediocre Show. Discovery S5 was... what it was, but it was a wonderful viewing experience — mostly thanks to the gang (@kittkatk and @feroxargentea especially!)

What a joy it is, to follow a show week by week, yelling and laughing and discussing the whole time. And giffing, too. I was very happy to contribute to the Disco fandom from my own little obsessive corner, and I was glad to see people adoring Rayner, haha.

He's a pretty neat character — very much a stereotype, yes, but with CKR's usual twist of odd vulnerability and weirdness. Also, I loved the ears. I miss the ears. The ears were great.

I even wrote a fic! Although it's not within my usual range to write for canons and universes I don't know well — and back then, I'd only seen S5 of Disco. It was a lot of suffering, and a lot of fun.

Closing thoughts

I'd really love the dude to get a better agent. And possibly better taste, but I realise that's a tougher ask. Seriously, it's been too long since he was in something majorly cool. I'm grateful to him, at least, for not making terrible music on the side. And I still have a lot of his back catalogue to get through, some of it even good, so there will be more insanity. Until then!

[happi-tree]

soooooo i don't have much new to post for wipweds this week so i thought i'd grab a little something from my archives! a ton more people were curious about The Raven and The Dove than i expected, so here's a little excerpt from my amphibia school for good and evil au! in which marcy learns a tiny bit of archery and sasha has some Feelings about it 💗💚

[moe-broey]

I am...... getting A Little nostalgic for Stardew Valley........ but I know it is SUCH a commitment like if I get back into that shit I'm blacking out for a month. I Cannot Allow It

[officialspec]

can you pleeeeease post your dm sexuality/gender hcs on here.... 🥺 i don't have a twitter but i wanna know. it's like a pandora's box to me now i'm like scratching at the door. let me in

heres the link 2 the thread (mild spoilers btw) ill post a transcript under the cut for ppl who dont have twitter

first off i think laios relationship to sex is super removed for like 50 reasons without even getting into his actual sexuality

he grew up in a place with very repressed ideas about sex and has a lot of fear about asserting his presence in situations

his special interest takes precedent over any social interactions he has and the level of closeness he feels towards people

he has a hard time figuring out his feelings towards other people both bc hes autistic and bc he has freaky deviantart fetishes that make sex in his mind a very abstract concept <- this one is me projecting mostly

that aside, i feel like gender-wise hes attracted to ppl so infrequently it may as well be entirely case-by-case

the idea of him being gay appeals to me from the 'raised with traditional values he Does Not fit into/hasnt begun to question it yet' perspective, i lauve characters who put a lot of stock into performing a role thats expected of them and fail miserably for unknown (gay) reasons

from his perspective tho i dont think he would ever really label himself anything. hes going to pride parades in the shirt+shorts Ally Fit to clap for his friends

hes also 'cis by indifference' imo... i love tmasc laios hcs it just doesnt mesh w his personal history to me. i do think hes got some kind of therian gender thing going on (not trans or nb but a secret third thing) but i cant see him changing anything abt his appearance/pronouns to accommodate that post-canon. hes just doin his thang

falin is in a similar boat for gender. i LOOVE tfem falin but the village repression thing has been bugging at me so i dont think i subscribe to it anymore (canon purist sorry) BUT if u hold that hc i am clapping and cheering regardless

instead i was propagandised to a while back and i LOVEEE the idea that being fused w a male dragon and the residual traits she has after being revived have given her a type of gender euphoria she didnt realise she was missing. a little boygirl swagger if u will

sexuality-wise i also dont think she would care to label herself, shes a lesbian by virtue of only being interested in One woman and zero other people. without marcille i do think shes still exclusively attracted to women, and i like to imagine she might experiment around a bit during her travels post-canon (pre-relationship). hearing abt it might put marcille on the news though

marcille is very simple That is a transfem lesbian. she cant get pregnant, shes obsessed w being femme and all that combined w her half-tallman struggles to be seen as 'properly feminine' by elf standards reads very transfeminine to Me. also her bookboy crush REEKS of comphet its not subtle

i think a more comfortable marcy might have the space to experiment w being elf butch like her manga boys but thats mainly self indulgence for me. utena could have saved her

senshi is gay his whole thing is abt not being able to perform dwarven masculinity to a proper standard (soft hearted, not as strong or rugged as his peers) which is like gaycoding 101. also hes a bear. homosexuality be damned by boy can work a grill

adding onto this i rly think senshi got some type of euphoria from being an elf in the changeling chapters. he was feeling himself so much i think he was using it as an outlet to have fun being a little fem and fruity without needing to justify it. do u understand

i dont have any particular opinions abt him gender-wise beyond that. his bulge is an essential part of his character design but i also saw a transmasc senshi a couple days ago that made me nod my head thoughtfully so i could go either way

chilchuck is cis and bisexual this is just canon. not even just his old man crush on senshi altho i do think thats very funny but they put his ass on a cover themed like hes in a dating sim with all the men and women in the cast and then slapped it in front of a chapter called "bicorn". i simply cant pass up that kind of overt signaling. its so fucking funny what else is there to say truly

izu to ME is a transmasc aroace lesbian (this one has the least basis in canon i just know it to be true) shes a little genderfluid with it nd uses he/she i think. i like to imagine she consistently uses masculine personal pronouns to refer to herself either way tho (boku, ore)

i think izutsumis gender/sexuality is entirely secondary in priorities to her body dysphoria. she has a lot of learning and acceptance 2 do before that kind of self discovery is on the docket and in my mind eschewing gender on some level is part of that. get sillay

shuro is cishet but at least he feels bad about it. next listen listen to me i dont think he would ever actually examine this but i need u to put on ur tin foil hat with me for one second. i think estrogen could have saved her. i have more thoughts on this but im not gonna propagandise too much on this post just know that im right

kabru is a transmasc bisexual this is also practically text. his whole thing of being treated like a doll by milsiril to put in pretty dresses, plus i think it would be pretty easy for him to stealth in the west since tallmen are seen as inherently more masculine than elves

(i also think changing genders is just more common for elves. theyre androgynous enough that it wouldnt be hard and like who in their right miiiiind would be the same gender for 500 years. dwarves too)

i think he started presenting as male socially in the west but didnt need to consider medical transition until he moved to a more mixed culture where other races might see him as a woman

i dont have to explain the bisexual part. have u seen him

namari is a butch bisexual this is just canon straight up. shes not transmasc but i think the default settings for dwarven women is like 4 years of T regardless. shes a hit at all the local cruising spots despite her renfaire nerdisms i know this

and just bc im thinking abt em kiki and kaka are identical and kiki is tfem :} theyre both attracted to women but kaka is a sub so i forgive him

THATS ALL 4 NOW theres a lot of characters so i cant have thoughts abt all of them at once but i hope this was good. im right about everything forever as per usual

[ronance4everbrainrot]

EEEEEEven more incorrect quotes! Merlin Academy Gang! AND MORE. Kinda long? Idk

(and ships)

Hook: Okay, who's turn is it to give the pep talk?

Uliana: It's Hades's turn.

Hades: Don't die.

Uliana, wiping a tear away: Truly inspirational.

(so beautiful 😭 I don't know how to explain, but this is canon now)

---

Maleficent : Now it's time for some witty back and forth banter. You go first.

Fay: *sobbing*

Maleficent : Look, I'm not sure where to go with that.

(She's used to her and Hades banter and fights. Fay still needs to get used to that)

---

Fay: What the hell is wrong with you?

Hades: I have this weird self-esteem issue where I hate myself but still think I’m better than everyone else.

(mm. Yeah.)

---

Hook: Goodnight to the love of my life, Morgie, and fuck the rest of y'all.

(just a normal day)

---

Morgie: *is throwing stones at Ella's window*

Ella: You have a phone for a reason, Morgie!

*THUD*

Ella: DID YOU JUST THROW YOUR PHONE AT MY WINDOW?!

(Love my little chaos goblin. He absolutely knew what he was doing)

---

Ella: Hey, I was wondering, have any of you guys ever seen Morgie’s bedroom?

Bridget: No, they refuse to let any of us visit. You know what that means.

Maleficent, nodding: Dungeon.

Hades, nodding: Rich.

Uliana , nodding: Homeless.

Ella, nodding: Secretly in the mafia.

Bridget: What? No, I meant they’re messy. What the hell is wrong with all of you?

(Hook not being there because he's in Morgie's bedroom right now. they are cuddling)

---

Ella: I apologize for saying 'fuck' in front of Bridget.

Fay: You just said it again.

Bridget:

Ella: I am not a role model.

(don't worry Ella. She knows worse. She just doesn't use them)

---

Bridget: Accidentally indulged in too much ‘free time’, turns out I’ve been reported missing for over six months and presumed dead by most local and national authorities.

(once she went back to wonderland and didn't text anyone anything. Just sulking in her feelings for Ella)

---

Hades: How do you do that?

Charming: I'm fearless.

Hook: I saw you run from bees yesterday. You flailed around and tripped over a chair. It was both hysterical and sad.

Charming: I'm mostly fearless.

(Mhm. But fair)

---

Bridget, on the phone: I better go…kay, call me later… byeeee!

Hook: Friend of Yours?

Bridget: Nope, wrong number.

Hook: ???

(Hey. She's not gonna pass on making new friends 🤷)

---

(add some glassheart)

Chloe: What do you call quantums of electromagnetic radiation that don’t get along?

Red: What did you just say-

Chloe: Foetons! *Laughs*

Red: Wh-what?

(love how Red is just confused. Chloe making puns/dad jokes. Canon, actually)

---

Ella: Please pray for Chloe.

Bridget: What happened to them?

Ella: Nothing, they’re just very stupid.

(not her own mother saying that (he doesn't know tho lol). But honestly that's after the vase incident.)

---

Red: Chloe, you're my best friend.

Chloe: Best friend? BEST friend?! Bitch, I'm your only friend.

Chloe: I'M THE ONLY ONE CAPABLE OF TOLERATING YOUR DUMB ASS!

(oop- true)

---

*The gang's thoughts on stabbing*

Morgie/Fay: Would never stab anyone.

Ella/Charming: Would stab someone in retaliation.

Hook/Maleficent: Yells "I won't hesitate, bitch!" first.

Hades: Would stab without warning.

Uliana/Bridget: Would stab as a warning.

(I wanted to put Bridget in the last one lol. Like if someone went too far and hurt one of her friends she'd be like *stab* don't do it again or next time it will be worse)

---

Uliana: You know you've made it when you see your picture everywhere you go.

Bridget: Those are wanted posters!

(yeah. Still)

---

Maleficent: *looks at Hades*

Maleficent: Baby boy. Bad Boy.

Maleficent: *looks at Fay*

Maleficent: goody two shoes

(changed it a bit lol. Also Me just randomly shipped Maleficent and Fay because gay. Just a crack ship lol)

---

Red: I got an idea!

Chloe: Does it involve breaking the law?

Red: By now don’t you think that’s a given?

Chloe: I was just trying to be optimistic.

Red: Don’t bother.

(GOTTA GET YOUR HANDS DIRTY! UwU)

---

Chloe: You're not my friend anymore.

Red: I was your friend?

(Red. You just called her your best friend a few seconds ago! She's just trying to play it cool. She's screaming on the inside.)

---

Red: Sometimes I talk to myself for no reason.

Red: Me too!

(oh no. She's mad. PSST. I HAVE THREE ACCOUNTS ON DISCORD AND ACTED LIKE TWO OF THEM WEREN'T ME. I HAD CONVERSATIONS WITH MYSELF, BECAUSE NO ONE ELSE WAS ONLINE AND I WAS BORED 😭 I was very invested in my own dramas that I created. It also started with only two accounts 🫠)

---

Queen of Hearts, to Red: You're starting to forget your Spanish. You don't practice.

Red: Lo siento. Estoy embarazada.

Queen of Hearts: You just told me you're pregnant.

Maddox: Congratulations Red, you're glowing!

(Red can speak Italian and Spanish and also has a hidden British accent. There, my new headcanon)

---

(a little surprise)

Mal, staring lovingly at Evie: I would die for you.

Evie, doing their own thing: Then perish.

(Mal, you know not to interrupt Evie while she's working)

---

Mal: As a responsible adult-

Evie: *chuckles*

Mal: … As a responsible adult—

(Eeeviee, don't do Mal dirty like that. Even if you aren't wrong)

---

Evie: What do I get?

Mal: A night of fashion, mischief, mayhem, and possible death.

Evie: Ooh, check, check, and check; not sure about that last one.

Mal: It won't be you.

Evie: I'll get my coat.

(what are they planning o~o)

---

Cinderella: What’s your greatest weakness?

Red: Interpreting the semantics of a question, but ignoring the pragmatics.

Cinderella: Could you give an example?

Red: Yes, I could.

(why does it feel relatable even tho I don't remember actually having done that)

---

Red: I don’t care what anyone thinks about me.

Chloe: Ok.

Red: Wait, why such a muted reaction? Did that not sound cool?

(Same Red, same Qvq)

---

Red, digging their grave: Long story short, this is ma grave.......Want me to make you one too?

(Omg Hunter! Is that you? ✨ love the owl house 😭😭😭. This is making me think Red fucked up a mission from her Mom. Like Hunter did.)

---

Red: I’m going to get so much done today.

Queen of Hearts: I’ll hold you to that.

*8 hours later*

Queen of Hearts: So how much did you get done?

Red: One thing.

Queen of Hearts:

Queen of Hearts: Well, that’s one more than usual.

(QvQ me TvT)

---

Mal, at Evie: You're my significant other.

Evie: Yeah I am!

Mal, at Celia: You're my child.

Celia: Yes boss.

Mal, at Uma: You're my bitch.

Uma: Yeah I am- wait, what?

Mal, at Carlos: My bestie.

Carlos: Naturally.

Mal, Jay: HA, GAY!

Jay: Fuck you.

(Jay x Gil 🤸)

---

Chloe: Wow! Celia made you cry?

Red, holding back tears: Yes, and they said some really mean things that are only partly true.

(Daaamn. She can do that tho. Wow fr)

---

*at an awards show*

Chloe: Can I carry you on my back like Mal did?

Red: I don't think Evie would like that.

Chloe: *pouts*

*Later*

Chloe: *carrying Red on their back*

Evie: What the hell??

Red: What was I supposed to do? Say no?

(Evie was panicking over Chloe's suit/dress because she made it for her. Do not ruin her designs. She will not take responsibility for what happens after that)

---

This was gonna be longer but I shall post it now anyway.

Hope you liked it.

Byeee

[chaosandmarigolds]

“Right so by that logic-“ you lean forward on the counter top of the rec room after hearing the most bizarre sentence ever made by a human- un shockingly it came from the one and only Soap MacTavish. “By that logic you-…Johnny you can’t say things like that.”

Johnny looks up from his coffee and frowns, “Wh not?”

To that Ghost looks up from his phone, “Johnny mate ya can’t say everyone is a lil’ bit gay and not sound gay.”

“Oh, well cause I am.”

You gag on your water, not…shocked by the news but more of how easily it came out. With wide eyes you look between the two men, and they also continue to be completely unfazed by it.

“I…Tink, er know this.”

“I did?”

“Yes ya did.”

“…noted.”

(Ngl this is self indulgent bc I react like a very confused, but supportive, grandma whenever my friends come out to me. ‘Coco I have a girlfriend’ … ‘Neato mosquito, my dude. Does she like coookies? I’m baking-‘) 

[daisykihannie]

𝚂𝚒𝚣𝚎𝚍 𝚞𝚙 | 𝙻.𝙼𝙷

pairing: Dom!Minho x Ftm!Reader

warnings: size kink, smut, nsfw, established relationship, unprotected sex, degradation, praise, body worship, oral (receiving), overstimulation, just one slap, begging, etc.

a/n: ngl this is a bit self indulgent as a 182cm muscular Transman but oh well

Minho was a bit on the shorter side, being only 172cm tall but size doesn’t matter right? It was just a fact for Minho that he was short, it never really bothered him much as he grew up. Yeah, he got bullied for it as a teenager but he was past all of that right? At least he thought that was the case until he started dating a man who was 182cm tall.

It started to get annoying. The way people would whisper when you two would go on dates together. Muffled voices talking about how his boyfriend was certainly the man in the relationship simply because of his muscular build, broad shoulders, and his height. First of all, they’re in a gay relationship so they were both the man but he also knew that was the socially acceptable way to call him a bottom.

Why the hell were so many people concerned with his sex life? Even scrolling on tiktok took a turn as he saw edit after edit plaguing his for you page. Normally the edits were endearing when speaking about the two of you, how cute you were together, how all the hottest men were gay, etc. but then they suddenly were all about how he was the “baby girl” and how easily you’d be able to manhandle him. Even going as far to call him a fucking Omega and you an Alpha, truly what the fuck stay?

“Hey kitten?” Minho called from where he was seated on the couch in your apartment. You turned away from the counter where you were chopping vegetables for the dinner you were making the two of you to look at him over the kitchen island. “I thought i told you to stop calling me that.” you grumbled and squinted your eyes at him. “oh hush, i know you love it.” he cooed in a teasing tone.

“What’s up my love?” you asked and leaned across the island, propping yourself up on your elbows. The muscles in your biceps and pecs tensed and relaxed as you got comfortable. You were currently shirtless and just wearing an apron and your athletic shorts, it was the middle of summer and it was far too hot to be cooking at the stove and wear anymore than you were. Plus, you knew how much your boyfriend admired your muscles, his size kink and all.

“Why do Stay think I'm a bottom when we are seen together? Does my appearance scream that I take it in the ass or something?” Minho asked and you barked out a laugh at the thought and Minho's bluntness. “First of all, I don't have a dick so there’s no way you could take it up the ass. Unless you have a side piece, do you have a side piece Lee Minho?” you couldn’t help but tease him a bit, he always gave the best reactions.

“You did not just call me by my government name… L/N F/N.” he groaned and tried to give you his best threatening expression but he honestly looked like he was going to cry hearing you call him his real name. “It’s Lee Y/N, thank you very much.” you blew him a kiss and turned back to the pot on the stove, stirring the pasta a bit and flipping the searing beef. “I hope you know that there is no way I could have a side piece, I don’t like people enough and I already have my hands full dealing with you kitten.” he retorted.

You let out an annoyed groan at him using that pet name again, he didn’t need to know that you were getting worked up from it. “Also, you could get a strap. That’s something to take up the ass.” Minho answered and you smirked at that. turning back around to face him. “Is this your way of asking me to fuck you in the ass with my strap? I didn’t think you’d-“ you were cut off by minho shouting “NO I ABSOLUTELY AM NOT ASKING YOU TO FUCK ME- SHUT UP!” his face flushed red either in embarrassment or annoyance. There’s no way in hell your boyfriend would ever bottom, even with your best puppy dog eyes and begging.

“Ugh! can you just answer my question please? Why does EVERYONE think that I'm the bottom in this relationship?” Minho buried his face in his hands and threw his head back against the couch. “Maybe because you’re smaller than me and unbelievably adorable~” you cooed, not even trying to tease him this time. It was a genuine explanation and honestly the only one you could think of considering you’re the only one other than Minho himself who’s aware of your dynamics in the bedroom.

“Seriously? That’s so fucking annoying. It’s not my fault I stopped growing.” Minho grumbled, clearly this whole thing was bothering him more than he let off. Turning off the stove, you moved to sit next to your boyfriend on the couch. “Min baby, does it bother you that much?” you asked with genuine concern. You’re a fixer, if there’s a problem or someone is upset you can’t help but want to fix it and make them feel better. This unfortunately wasn’t a situation you’d be able to fix.

“No… it’s just- i don’t know.” he grumbled and leaned his head against your shoulder as he wrapped his arms around yours and snuggled into your side. “Does sir wanna prove he’s not a bottom? Fuck your kitten so good that he can’t walk tomorrow?” you purred into the top of his head and flexed the bicep that he held onto. The growl that ripped from his chest in response had your pussy gushing and eager. “That sounds like a perfect idea babyboy~”

All you did was blink and now you were pinned to the couch cushions with Minho towering over you. He slotted his knee between your legs and used his thigh to apply pressure to your throbbing cocklet. You were already so hard and wet, yet he hasn’t even touched you properly. A small whimper left your lips as you tried to rut against his thigh but ultimately the tiny amount of friction just wasn’t enough. “So needy you wanna use my thigh to get off? You’re such a pathetic slut for me aren’t you? My pretty little slut.” he groaned out and you couldn’t help but preen at his words.

Yes, you might be stronger than Minho physically and larger than him but the way he could easily overpower you and have your brain melting was insane. His presence alone was powerful and his words had a way of making you weak, not that you wanted to fight back in the first place. You are putty in his hands, he owns your heart, your mind, and especially your body. It’s as if you were created with Minho in mind, made to be his other half, made to compliment and complete him.

“m-more…” you moaned out while trying to grind against his thigh, both your hands still pinned to the couch. “What’s that? you’re gonna have to use your words pretty boy.” minho cooed, encouraging you’re already mushy brain to try to work and form actual coherent sentences. “Sir- please… need you so bad.” you whimpered, desperate.

“You already have me baby, i’m all yours and your mine.” minhos response came out in a fond and loving tone, almost sickly sweet. Unfortunately he didn’t move to give you what you were failing to ask for. You were well aware that he knew exactly what you meant but Minho never gave you anything easily, you had to earn his compliance and you weren’t anything if not obedient to him.

“Need your cock sir… need you to fuck me dumb on your cock please please please… fuck- n-need to be split open on Sir’s cock…” you whimpered out, so needy and desperate that you felt like you could cry. You simply had no self control when it came to your boyfriend, it was addicting to be under him and his control like this. The way he fucked you with his eyes, the cat like eyes piercing through you, the taunting smirk on his lips that showed his cute bunny teeth. He was so cute but so fucking evil at the same time and you loved it.

“Good boy~ i guess your brain does work after all. All these muscles but still so so weak for me. My perfect oversized cock sleeve.” His words rushed straight to your cocklet and you couldn’t bite down the moan that rattled out of your throat. His words were painfully true, you were a weak oversized cock sleeve for him and you wouldn’t have it any other way.

Minho pulled away from you, earning a whine in protest. You were already slipping so far away that the small amount of space he put between your bodies was too far. While Minho was pre-occupied with removing his shirt and unbuckling his belt, you leaned forward to lick and bite at the pale skin covering his abs. You mouthed at his flesh sloppily, making his perfect skin glisten with your saliva, savoring the taste of sweat on his skin.

Luckily he allowed you to do what was needed to satiate yourself while he stripped, he untied your apron next, throwing it somewhere in the room and moving to remove your shorts and boxers in one move. Once you were both bare he pushed you away from his body, making your back bounce off the plush cushions of the couch momentarily from the sheer force he put into it. You learned a long time ago that his smaller frame was a deception, he was strong as hell even though it wasn’t obvious aside from the size of his muscular thighs.

You whimpered when Minho forced your legs apart, admiring your hardened cocklet and glistening pussy. You hid your face in the crook of your elbow and looked to the side, still insecure about your body and where it was still biologically female. You tried to hide it in the muscles and the masculine results of being on Testosterone for a while. You even got top surgery but you still couldn’t bury the way you hated having a pussy.

“My pretty boy~ so pretty and wet for me. I will never get tired of seeing your hard cock and your leaking pussy. I wish you could see just how pretty you are for me.” He cooed, his words genuine as he worshiped your body. He always made sure to tell you how much he loved the parts you were most insecure about. “Maybe i should show you how much i love it~”

Before you had a chance to register his words in your cotton candy brain, you felt his tongue lapping at the juices flooding out of you, wrapping his pretty lips around your cocklet and letting out a deep guttural groan. “My pretty boys cock always tastes so fucking delicious. I just can’t get enough of how you taste on my tongue.” and Minho was diving in again.

You were a moaning mess under his tongue. Your hands were flailing around, trying to find purchase on something, needing to grip something, anything, to stay on earth while he sucked you off like his life depended on it. At this point, Minho was doing this for his own pleasure, drunk on your taste and the noises you made. “Can’t find anything to hold onto pretty boy? it’s okay to use my hair my love. Feel free to pull on it, use it to ride my face, i can take it.” His voice was thick with his arousal and his chin and nose was soaked with your juices.

Both of your hands carded into his hair and held on tight, the moan he let out sent vibrations straight through your most sensitive parts and you couldn’t help bucking your hips up to meet his tongue. “That’s it, ride my face like a good boy.” he mumbled against your core, the knot in your stomach tightening further. You were close, so painfully close but you didn’t want him to stop and you could tell from the expression on Minhos face as you watched him between your legs that he didn’t want to stop either.

“fuck! cl-close- so fucking close… s’good feels so- nggh!” you cried out and your thighs threatened to camp down on the sides of his head if it weren’t for his hands pining them down to the couch with a bruising grip. Your hips and thighs trembled and the muscles spasmed under his hold but he didn’t pull away or slow down. He stayed buried between your legs, drinking down all of your release with a groan and his eyes fluttering and rolling back in his head slightly as he savored your release on his tongue.

Once you were jolting away from Minho in overstimulation, he finally came out from between your legs and made his way back up your body. “Taste just how delicious you are baby.” He said in a sultry tone, diving in to slot his lips between yours in a wet and sloppy kiss. The kiss was hungry and desperate with teeth clashing together and tongues battling for dominance in the kiss. Minho obviously won and took control of the kiss, his hands pawing at your body as you both swallowed each others moans in the kiss.

He was rutting his hips against your cocklet, his length getting drenched in your fluids and his own saliva as it dragged across your sensitive spots. His head would catch on your entrance a few times but he never pushed in, eliciting heady moans from you as you angled your hips to hopefully get him inside you and failing none the less.

“Min- please… just fuck me already damnit.” you growled, growing impatient with his teasing. “oh? that’s not the way you talk to someone you want something from now is it?” a slap landed to your left cheek, not super hard but enough to sting. A choked moan left your throat, followed by a whimper as you looked up at the man above you with pleading eyes. “p-please baby…” you whined.

“That’s better. Good boy.” he leaned in, taking your lips in his own again and slammed into you, buried to the hilt in one thrust. “God fuck! Always so fucking tight for me.” Minho groaned and began to thrust. He’d pull out almost all the way, leaving just the very tip inside before slamming back in and angling his hips to hit your sweet spot repeatedly.

“This pussy is fucking mine. Got it? No one can ever fuck you like i do. You were made for me. Mine.” Minho grunted out and picked up his pace, still slamming into you as hard as he can everytime. “y-yours. all yours min. Fuck! m-made for you- s’good! fuck me s’good.” you were babbling now, sentences coming out slurred and almost incoherent as you felt the familiar tightening of that knot in your lower stomach.

“Getting fucked so good you can’t even think. All you know is me and my cock. How good i make you feel. My perfect, oversized cock sleeve. Your muscles are fucking useless when I wreck you like this.” Minho became more talkative, a sign he was getting close with the way you clenched around him and the pathetic sounds you let out filling your apartment, loud and uncaring of who heard. They’d know exactly who was the top in this relationship.

“m-min- I- close…” you could barely speak at this point, you could feel your impending orgasm from your toes to your fingers and in your head. You body trembling at the sensitivity as you fought back your climax. “Me too baby, gonna pump you full of my cum. Go ahead and cum for me like a good boy.” Minho growled out, leaning down to be close to your ear and pushing his chest to yours. The added weight to your body combined with his words were all it took to have your orgasm hitting you hard and fast.

Minho continued fucking you through it, filling you up shortly after and riding out his own orgasm. You were trembling underneath him and whining in overstimulation. Minho took a moment, his body collapsed over yours, catching his breath before he had to clean you up. He pulled out with a hiss at the sensitivity of his cock head dragging against your walls that were still spasming. He sat up and watched his cum spill out of you for a moment, taking a picture for his personal collection before going to the bathroom to get a wet wash cloth and cleaning you up.

After you were both clean, he put his own boxers back on before putting you in yours. While you fought sleep, he went to the kitchen to reheat the dinner you were cooking. He made each of you a plate before bringing them to the living room and placing them both on the coffee table, turning on the TV for you both to watch. He lifted you up from where you were laying and tugged you into his side, wrapping one arm around you and using his other hand to scoop up some food and begging feeding you.

Somehow, you looked small in his hold. The sight of your large muscular body looking small against his clearly smaller frame fueling his size kink further. “I love you so much Y/N, my big baby.” Minho said and placed a kiss to the top of your head while you chewed what he’d fed you. “Love you too Min, so much.” you said with a smile on your face and cheeks still stuffed with pasta.

[mummer]

would you mind sharing some of your twow predictions/hopes? i'm trying to cope with a lack of twow 🤒

oh man where would i even begin. im gonna do straight up hard predictions and not allow myself to be very self indulgent here is what i think will happen unironically

melisandre does not intentionally resurrect jon bc that makes no sense for her character. i dont think she'll be the one to do it at all but if she does it will be an accident and also a brain shattering experience for her

jon is considered king beyond the wall (not king in the north.... yet) but you already knew that

jon spends more time beyond the wall actually. i am keeping this concept vague

night lamp is definitely real and stannis takes winterfell at some point but he wont survive the book

sam's oldtown chapters become unexpected fandom sleeper faves like theon's in dance

the rosby heir is olyvar frey

dany does not come to westeros before her final chapter and never even encounters jon. slave revolt in volantis yayyyyyy!!!!!

there is still no R+L=J reveal

loras ends up fine but drastically scarred

elia sand and aegon have a forbidden romance

pyp and grenn die offpage (i predict this so that i can be pleasantly surprised when they show up)

danny flint is revealed to be coldhands shut up actually

gerris drinkwater is surprisingly important to the plot

brienne and jaime both survive the encounter with LSH and survive the whole book i saw this in my mind

barristan either dies really early on or he eventually defects to join aegon because he thinks he's the more rightful heir. the ol treason for blood

the faceless men turn out to just be another branch of the iron bank who are doing assassinations for money more than obscure religious/political reasons. this blackpills arya enough for her to return home

sansa encounters jeyne again and this is what provokes her to move against littlefinger

theon...... joins the night's watch..... question mark

there's a gay sex scene but no one likes it

[chrisredfield73]

Could you do a reader who accidentally tells the tf2 mercs they're gay/queer in sexuality? With some angst from the reader because they're worried it'll affect how the mercs see them. And depending on the merc, some comfort?

This is a bit self-indulgent as I am a girl who likes girls, but it can be written for anyone

The reader is meant to be a teen so it's strictly platonic!

A/N: As a gay trans guy, I understand the angst and fear! Thank you for requesting!!

For Spy's part-

Mon chou means 'my cabbage' (weird term of endearment for kids but it's really sweet)

--------------------------------------------------------------

You let it slip, accidentally, but it immediately made you panic. You mentioned liking the same gender as you. The fear of not being accepted hit you like a tidal wave, as you stare wide eyed at the merc in front of you..

Scout:

He's surprised, to say the least.

He definitely makes a snarky and sarcastic joke, but he quickly shuts up when he notices your fear.

"Hey now.. Don't get all nervous on me."

He's pretty supportive overall, giving you some reassuring comments and a pat on the back.

"Listen.. I don't know how all the other guys would react, but I'm okay with it. Don't worry, I won't say anything."

He may make some hints about it to the others, but he doesn't go too far.

He also definitely would help you find a s/o and he would beg to hear who you like.

Soldier:

Now for this big himbo, it's a 50/50.

He either doesn't hear or get what you've said, or he heard it and he's judging you.

"What was that, maggot?"

If he didn't hear you or understand you, you could definitely play it off as a joke. He'd probably laugh it off with you, not even noticing how nervous you are.

If he heard you and is now judging you, he's staring at you through narrowed eyes. "You're queer?"

He's definitely not supportive... At first. You could probably, eventually, get him to come around and be supportive.

He has that mentality of, "I was raised thinking it was wrong so it's wrong."

Pyro:

When he heard you say that, it's completely obvious he supports you.

He gives you a thumbs up and a hug for reassurance.

"Mff mff mm mmff."

You're not sure what he just said, but you can tell it was something supportive by how he just acted.

He helps make sure you're comfortable, even giving you gifts that are discreet pride flag colors.

If any of the other guys catch wind about it, you can bet that Pyro will be there to stand up for you.

Demoman:

Another one of the guys that's 50/50 about it.

If he's drunk, he's either not going to act supportive, when he actually is, or he's not going to be paying attention to anything you just said. "What..?"

In the rare occasion that he's not drunk, he's very supportive and will give you a hug.

"Ey there, lass/lad, no need to worry. It's alright with me."

He is one of the supportive ones, despite being an idiot when he's drunk. He's proud of you for being yourself, even if you're not out to everyone.

Heavy:

He's shocked, looking over at you with wide eyes.

He doesn't say anything for a moment, before noticing your anxiousness.

He's not super supportive, but he's not going to judge you about your preferences.

"Heavy is not mad. Heavy is happy you're happy."

He gives you a pat and maybe even rubs your back, trying to help you feel better.

He won't tell anyone about it, he's the second best secret keeper on the team.

"Heavy won't tell anyone, Heavy pretends he never heard it."

Engineer:

He's caught off-guard, but he's supportive 100%.

"Oh? I never would've thought..."

He gives you a reassuring smile and hugs you gently.

"Don't worry, kid. I won't tell nobody. You have my word."

He's the first best secret keeper, and he's basically the supportive dad of the team.

He'll, much like Pyro, also get you discreet pride gifts to show he supports you and to make you feel better.

All in all, Engineer is the best to share things with, he's a calm and gentle soul who just wants to see you happy.

Medic:

He had his suspicions, he suspects a lot of things about a lot of people.

"Oh? You like women/men?"

He's pretty supportive, but he's not a very touchy person. He'd prefer to not have a ton of physical contact.

He gives you a quick rub on the back before pulling away.

"I'm not going to judge you, there are things far worse than not being straight."

He's not the best for comfort but he is, at least, mostly supportive.

Sniper:

He stops what he's doing and turns to look at you, his expression and emotion unreadable.

"You... You're what now?"

He notices you panicking and steps over to you, offering you a small smile.

He gently ruffles your hair and chuckles, "Easy now, roo. Calm down. I'm not judgin' ya, I'm just confused."

He's okay with you elaborating on your sexuality, and he's okay with you not talking about it anymore.

He's also good at not telling anyone about your sexuality, he prefers to keep to himself anyway.

Spy:

He let's out a low hum, raising a brow. He definitely didn't expect that.

"...Hmm?"

He's polite, not teasing you or making fun of you.

He doesn't really understand but he's not going to go out of his way to judge you or make fun of you.

"Don't worry, mon chou. I'm not going to judge you."

He sets down his cigarette in his ashtray and pulls you in for a hug.

He's one that doesn't like physical affection very much, but seeing you in slight distress makes him want to comfort you.

He almost thinks of you like his child, and he just wants to see you happy.

[lurkingshan]

On Boston and Brian Kinney

I’ve seen a lot of folks in the Only Friends tag recently making connections between the show and Queer as Folk, both US and UK versions, which makes sense because QaF is a clear reference for the show, both visually and thematically, and we know Jojo likes to reference western media in his work. One parallel folks are drawing is not tracking for me, however, so I am jumping in the wayback machine and putting on my old QaF stan hat to talk to y’all about Brian Kinney, and why Boston is actually nothing like him. Tagging @bengiyo and @neuroticbookworm who talked this through with me and also @slayerkitty because I saw you were contemplating this connection between the two characters.

So, first, why are people making this comparison? It really boils down to one thing: Brian and Boston are both sluts. That’s… pretty much it. They both like sex and prefer to have it with many different partners, and neither has much use for monogamy. But this is pretty much where their similarities end. 

So let’s remind ourselves who Brian Kinney is: a kind of fantasy of a hot, rich, self-actualized gay man with unmatched sexual prowess and a surface level flippancy masking a heart of gold. Brian is an adult man with a thriving career and money that he earned for himself after leaving his abusive and homophobic family (who would eventually explicitly reject him because of his sexuality). As a result, he is defiant in his commitment to live his life as loudly and queerly as possible—which includes a dedication to fucking and sucking, public sex, and a rejection of heteronormative constructs like monogamy.

Brian has a very clear moral code he lives by, even if it’s not one most can relate to. He decides to have a son with his (lesbian) best friend because part of him wants to believe in a better future and build a family of his own. He is extremely loyal to his found family even as he’s a jerk to their face most of the time, and he is always working behind the scenes to protect them even as he often hurts their feelings with his glib remarks and shitty behavior. Despite his disdain for monogamy, he never actually tries to destroy any of his friends’ happy relationships (in fact, he tries to sacrifice his own friendship with Michael to ensure he stays with his boyfriend).

Brian has a sense of responsibility to others and often takes on the blame for things he didn’t even do, which is why he takes baby gay Justin to Debbie and ensures he is cared for even as he tries to dissuade Justin from getting attached to him, and why he cares for Justin in the aftermath of his bashing. He cares deeply about his community, to the point where he pours his money into protecting the local gay scene, literally bankrupts himself to stop an anti-gay politician from winning an election, and gives up a dream job to stay put in Pittsburgh and help rebuild the community after a hate crime.

Brian is unflinchingly honest and he avoids making promises because once he does, he knows he will absolutely keep them—he takes his commitments seriously and he always does what he says he will. When he falls in love, he does not abandon his core values but he is willing to make some compromises. And he hides his better self and often wallows in self-destructive behavior because he feels deeply unworthy of love, which goes back to the intergenerational trauma he experienced as a child in an abusive home and the parental rejection he felt due to his sexuality. 

Boston, by contrast, is a character who feels more rooted in reality. He’s a pampered rich kid who is indulged in his hobbies and who already has a life plan laid out for him and paid for by his daddy. He likes to sleep around mostly because it’s fun, and because he knows his life here is temporary so he doesn’t see any point in getting attached to people. In stark contrast to Brian’s out and proud and fuck you if you have a problem with it brand of politics, he is still trying to hide who he is in service of his father’s political career, even if he’s pretty sloppy about it (see him fucking Top in a car with giant windows parked in the driveway at a house party).

Boston’s moral code is fungible and ever-changing to fit his circumstances—boy is a hypocrite (see his opinions about people filming and photographing him even as he does the same to others constantly). He has no loyalty and no qualms about hurting and betraying his friends, and actively tries to destroy their relationships for sport or as a means to get what he wants. He does not feel responsible for anyone and often lies and ducks accountability for the things he does. He does not care about his community at all, and in fact already has a NYC escape hatch in his back pocket for when he inevitably burns his bridges. He is not as honest as Brian and sends a lot of mixed messages to keep people guessing and on the hook.

Rather than hurting people by being brutally honest as Brian does, Boston plays psychological games and manipulates his friends and lovers, and he seems to take twisted pleasure in blowing up their happiness. We haven’t seen him make a promise or fall in love, and while there are some signs that he may have some sort of inferiority complex at play (with Mew in particular), his motives are not tied to any past trauma. Boston is just a messy bitch who loves chaos and doesn’t really care who gets hurt as long as he gets what he wants and stays entertained. Where Brian is literally a superhero to his loved ones, Boston is just a very flawed human being. 

But Shan, I hear you saying, I thought you liked Boston! I do, besties, I do. He’s a fantastic character and a very real kind of person many of us encounter in our 20s. Because that’s the thing: Boston is so young. He hasn’t developed any sense of responsibility to others or any understanding of the importance of queer community, and he has never had to take care of himself, which is perhaps the biggest difference between him and Brian. Brian has lived independently for more than a decade when we meet him in QaF, whereas Boston is a spoiled rich kid who has barely lived. Brian is a fully realized adult and his more nuanced characterization is a reflection of that; Boston is actually a pretty basic chaotic drama queen who will grow up eventually. 

TL;DR: Aside from being promiscuous, Boston has very little in common with Brian Kinney. He is more a reflection of a very real kind of person you will meet on the scene in queer communities than an homage to a larger than life fictional QaF character. And while OF is absolutely referencing some of the themes and values and stylistic flourishes of QaF, it is not making direct parallels to its characters. 

[all-pacas]

stupid chase 13 self indulgent sibling shit:

13 is the first one to jokingly refer to chase as her brother. except she calls him her younger brother. chase is like super touched but also hi i'm older than you "sure you are buddy". it's like an ironic "haha we're not actually siblings" joke except secretly no. it's not ironic

13 also has made at least a couple "let's go find dad" jokes about house. she finds it funny and deeply annoying that house and chase don't seem to Get It. it's very obvious to her that chase's deepest dream is for house to pat his shoulder and say "i'm proud my son" but they deny it

at least once 13 has pat chase's shoulder and gone "i'm proud my son"

at least once though. at least one time. "i killed my older brother." "i abandoned my younger sister to rehab." like they know. all their darkest shit. they don't want to be siblings because they did terrible things to their families. but it's why they are

they text. she's constantly sending him photos from her greek island. the food. the beach. look how hot my girlfriend is. he's in the middle of some gross procedure and gets a text of a beautiful sunset. he sends back a photo of a urine sample or some gross wound

when chase quit at the end of s8 and 13 swung by the next episode to talk with wilson the next day? she was staying with chase while she was in town. they mostly just hung out and watched nature documentaries. when wilson called she was like "oh i just happen to be in new jersey, let's meet up" while wearing sweats and sitting on chase's sofa

chase offers to kill her since house is gone and can't. they come up with a rough timeline and plan and then never discuss it again. until it's time.

at least a few dark "oh, shit, i'm wilson now, aren't i?" jokes from her in return. shit, the new house has a dying best friend too! except with so much less sexual tension!! they joke because they can't bring themselves to be serious about it. she tries to set him up with new friends. big advocate for choreman

idk but i get the feeling they'd watch crappy reality tv together.

they'll sometimes just have the darkest and most serious 1 am conversations about morality and souls and what makes a person good or evil, and then the next time they see one another instead of following up it's just "did you see real housewives last night"

chase has never asked 13 for a favor. like he'll ask her little things or let her pay for lunch, but that's about it. meanwhile she can call him at 2 am and he'll show up no questions asked. maybe kind of grumpy about it tho. kind of pisses her off he never lets her return the favor and sort of shut himself off emotionally after s6. but also it's nice? not the "chase's turn towards cynicism" part, but having a standing no questions asked deal.

when he annoys her enough, 13 DOES call chase "robbie" or worse "bobby" but he's never called her by her first name and probably never will

he didn't tell her he got stabbed and she was mad about it because see above. that was a real bobby day

chase knows she doesn't want to fuck around with more huntington's trials but he reads EVERY article and EVERY journal, just in case some miracle comes up. 13 meanwhile follows fake african country politics with a weird intensity to make sure diabla's forces aren't regaining power. they never discuss either thing with one another.

first time 13 visited Chase MD office she forced him to pose in front of the door and took like 15 photos like it was bobby's first day of school. absolutely humiliating

chase goes to 13 and amy's wedding. he's the only one of the PPTH folks who do (taub sends a card. they forgot to tell foreman.)

once 13 was like "we're both hot and single and should do what hot, single people do!" "....have...sex...?" "no, go to a gay bar" they actually go quite a few times

[absolutebl]

Hi ABL! I was wondering if you have recs for bl couples where a younger seme/top aggressively pursues an older, initially-unwilling uke/bottom?

I realized this trope was my absolute JAM when I fell hard and fast for Wei Zhiyuan x Wei Qian, Sun Boxiang x Lu Zhigang, and Yongjie x Xingsi. Bonus points for age gap, stepbrothers trope or the older uke being endlessly indulgent?

I mainly watch China and Taiwan bls, so I’ll love anything from there. I’ll take recs from other countries too, they might become my first foray into non-mandarin bls

I know this is a somewhat specific request so thank you sm if you manage to come up with anything! I really appreciate all the work you put into this blog ☺️💜

Oooo MY FAVORITE!!!

Hyung Romances! (wrap-up post)

I call these hyung romances because that's like noona romances but gay.

Specifically you said:

younger seme aggressively pursues an older initially-unwilling uke

I am utter TRASH for this! YES PLEASE!

Minato’s Laundromat

Japan 2022 GaGa 

AKA Minato Coin Laundry AKA Wash My Heart! AKA Minato Shouji Koin Randorii AKA Minato Shouji Coin Laundry

Younger seme older uke, very clearly yaoi derived dynamic, 10 year age gap. I love this show so much. This is by far the best long running example that really dwells on this trope, Shin is very much the aggressor also very much still a high school kid. Minato is very much NOT. 

Old Fashion Cupcake 

Japan 2022 Viki & GaGa 

Also from Japan, another 10 year gap, and a flipping genius version. This time both parties are older, so there’s less of a stigma around the age gap, but there is stigma about the one being the other’s boss. 

This show had me from the moment they broke the egg yolk with the chopsticks in the opening credits for episode one. It’s about a younger man with a long cherished crush on his boss (ten years older and going through a mid life crisis) who decides to save and seduce said man with pancakes. It’s wholesome, comforting, sexy, and a very necessary narrative about still having hope, interests, and openness to affection at any age. It’s coming of age/queerness packaged in a subtle critique of expectations around masculinity and love and loneliness... and it’s beautiful. Full review. 

Lovely Writer

Thailand 2021 YouTube 

Sib is quite a bit younger than Gene and defines aggressive pursuer. Gene is out of university and established in his career, Sib is still in college.

Thailand criticizes itself and the BL industry while simultaneously giving us classic seme/uke with great chemistry in a one-two punch of “we love it, but are we supposed to? and must we think this hard, yet enjoy it SO MUCH?” This show won’t appeal or make sense to those who don’t already have at least some Thai BL watching experience. What Lovely Writer does, at heart, is reexamine Thai BL has done to queerness, but in a very gentle way that has more to do with Thai BL growing up than any actual queer authenticity. It’s not parody or pastiche, but it is self reflective and trying to correct for some chronic mistakes. Whether it is ultimately successful in this matter is going to depend on the watcher’s relationship to BL and queer identity. But that’s what makes this show beautiful, interesting, and thought provoking. And I, for one, applaud the effort even if I didn’t personally connect to the characters.

Oxygen

Thailand 2020 YouTube 

Thailand’s first real stab at this dynamic as a main couple and it so worked for me. There are many who find this BL too slow and wooden, but I loved it. 

I think of this as a paragon of Thailand’s softer BL style, since Oxygen uses every BL trope in the playbook for one of the gentlest lowest angst BLs ever made. This one showcases how far Thailand is moving BL from its yaoi roots, and is a prime example of the sweet “new BL” model for which Thailand is the main advocate (Korea is liking it a lot these days too, tho). My first watch along. 

SOTUS

Thailand 2016 YouTube 

Guess who started this trope in Thailand? Yeah, sometimes I forget too. But they are not just classic sunshine/tsunder but classic younger/older. Just not by much.

This is the BL that launched a hundred BLs. No literally, it was SOTUS’s international success that pretty much built the Thai BL industry into the juggernaut it is today. People have baggage around SOTUS, I have nostalgia. Trigger warning on bully hazing. Review here. 

En of Love: Tossera 

Thailand 2020 YouTube 

Younger boy wants to court older boy and does and… that’s it. No really that’s the WHOLE STORY. There is actually no angst, drama, or, indeed plot. But are they the softest bois ever to BL as a main couple? Yes they are.

*pulp warning*

Private Lessons

Korea 2020 GaGa 

A BL short from Strongberry that I love, it's age gap and teacher/student (catnip por moi). The chemistry is slightly off though, but stil I do love this one for the dynamic. Certainly worth watching especially if this is your trope since it's like 8 minutes long and very stylish.

MingKit MarkKit

2 Moons (VERY side dish) YouTube 2 Moons 2 YouTube (major side dish) Gen Y (leads) Gen Y 2 (sides again in LTR) 

Thailand’s premier version of this dynamic I just lumped them all into one category. Only in 2 Moons 2 are they played by different actors, otherwise it is all KimCop, and who can complain about that? If you want to watch specifically for this dynamic than go for Gen Y. Trash watch here. 

SIDE DISH CORNER

Not Me (DanYok)

DanYok is an age gap, but it isn’t really the point or the plot of their romantic arc

Don’t Say No (LeonPob) 

Leon and Pob qualify. That’s all I have to say about that. 

HIStory 3: the BL that shall not be named (BoXiang & ZhiGang)

Also appear in HIStory 4: Close to You

The side characters in H3:MODC (and cameos in H4) BoXiang & ZhiGang have a huge age gap, 12 years, and it is a big deal for their relationship. When they start out BoXiang is a desperate himbo high school kid and ZhiGang is a small business owner. BoXiang’s friends tease him more for his lust over such a much older man than for being gay. 

Bonus on this one, there is some very high (and it's Taiwan so) very well done heat. That said, the main couple will, in fact, wreck your psyche for life. Proceed with caution.

THE THAI PULPS

You’re My Sky (SanAei)

Side could (and only good part of this show) SanAei are a classic uni age gap pairing. San is a bit of a spoiled rich kid jock who identifies the older nerd character as HIS and is just like, MINE. That’s MY elder gay. 

Brothers (KhunKaow) 

This is not a good show, but side couple Khun & Kaow are great in it. Khun is in university and Kaow has a small baking business.

Top Secret Together and Love By Chance both have sub plots of high school boys pursuing college ones, but the one didn’t go anywhere and the other went very very bad, so yeah… no. Although I would personally LOVE to see this done well. 

BONUS POINTS ROUND

Stepbrothers trope

HIStory 4: Close to You (sides)

YongJie is quite a bit younger than XingSi, not sure on the specifics but he’s in middle school when XingSi is in high school and still in college when XingSi has his own business.

Addicted has the stepbrothers trope but not the age gap.

Older uke being endlessly indulgent

Future

Thailand 2023 YouTube 

Based on a y-novel by Faddest (En of Love) about an engineering student and a dentist (shocker). This is just a soft sweet cotton candy fluff piece about a younger boy who pursues an older boy and then manufactures silly gay drama. Nothing wrong with that. But I don’t think this style of BL really appeals to a very large market share. Will I rewatch it? Sure. Will anyone else? Nope.

If you want your endlessly indulgent older gay, this is the you crack, they made if for you.

*pulp warning*

Manner of Death

Thailand 2021 WeTV

It’s not really relevant to the story, but Tan is younger. Not only that, he’s Bun’s friends younger brother. Bun is very indulgent, but in a grown up way.

I like MoD a lot but I’m conflicted over it being actual BL. It’s a great gay romantic suspense, although the mystery element is its weakness. MaxTul, the Kings of chemistry, are, of course, perfect and perfectly cast, but their romance thread is more a distraction than an addition. Still, I could watch them make-out the phonebook. Watch along here. 

Seven Days

Japan 2015 grey 

AKA Seven Days: Monday-Thursday AND Seven Days: Friday-Sunday Japan

Seryou kinda counts as the pursuer, but the dynamic is very very weak in this one. Still the way he asks to use Yuzuru’s first name (so CHEEKY) and the way he says “senpai” in SUCH a cute way makes me so happy. And Yuzuru is NOTHING is not indulgent, it kinda defines his character. I mean he just LETS him call him by his FIRST name... right away.

Never doubt my ability to recommend this show. One of the best live action yaois ever made, with perfectly structured angst, fantastic characters and acting, and no problematic tropes (rare in Japanese BL). The leads have excellent chemistry although it’s low heat there’s still some really cute mutual kisses. 

Just Taiwan

HIStory 2: Crossing the Line

2018 Viki 

Seme uke is VERY weak with this one but the younger character is certainly the pursuer. It’s SO GOOD. 

Lin Pei Yu directs this is a sports romance (volleyball) with a good boy/bad boy pairing, and mu favorite of the HIStory franchise. There is no clear seme/uke. Ostensibly it's high school set but Taiwan doesn't care about age appropriate actors. It's a very soft sweet romance with some ridiculously easily overcome conflict. There's great kisses but it's medium heat. The side dishes are the stepbrother trope but they’re very tame, and there’s no other triggers. It's not just my favorite of the franchise, it’s one of my favorite BLs with a perfect happy ending.

Kiseki: Dear to Me

2023 Gaga

The mains are a major age gap, but I always forget because they def don't look it. Also, Taiwan, so very weak seme/uke. Still there is age gap, he's in high school and our gangster is out of college and in the workplace.

The plot is totally ridiculous and slightly unhinged, but that’s normal for Taiwan. It involves all the tropes under a very casual framework of gay mafia gangs + food = love. Absolutely every character is queer. There’s a gum-ball machine of cameos, elder gay rep, great chemistry from all pairs, and a KILLER side couple. As a result Kiseki is a poster child for Taiwanese BL, and I happen to love Taiwanese BL. Bonus? They also managed to END IT WELL, which we cannot expect from Taiwan.

(Triggers for knife play, child abuse, lingering trauma.)

Unknown

2024 YouTube

Unknown is a wonderful BL with a pitch perfect portrayal of long term pining, age gap, and the stepbrothers trope. The acting and chemistry are ON POINT (especially from the leads) which made the resulting characters very believable. When it dwells in intimate family drama, it's stunning. It's slightly less successful when it leaves the home and goes gritty. Still, those are mere quibbles. This is an excellent show, one of Taiwan' s best.

As you see above I mostly had to take you to Japan and Thailand for this one. Considering your preferences try Japan first, it's closer in DNA to Taiwanese stuff, but it won't go as high heat. If you want the heat, you'll need to try the Thai stuff (or the ones from Taiwan you haven't seen). I would start with Lovely Writer.

Okay I think I have given you enough and, unless I miss my guess, I may have tempted you to try some Japanese BL.

Comes to the weirder (and weird hair) side. We have pancakes.

Yeah I think you should watch Old Fashion Cupcake.

EVERYONE SHOULD WATCH OLD FASHION CUPCAKE!!!

(source)

This post dated May 2024, not responsible for hyungs that sling after that date.

[tedspankoffskisbignaturals]

hi. :) uh very self indulgent cc sexuality hcs

ella - aroace lesbian

tadius - gay. probably arospec

the prince - bi. the biest of sexual. could be pan idk i like bi bc i like projecting. arospec but not fully

putrice - also bi. or a lesbian with comphet

rancilda - aro bisexual. once again. i am projecting<3

stepmother - shes. honestly idk i feel like zazz would have a better idea than me. but the vibes i am getting are lesbian using men to do her bidding

the narrator is also a slut bisexual

[swashbucklery]

Out of curiosity why do you ship sabine and shin ?

Okay anon so I am trying to figure out how to approach this ask because I know that this fandom has a real problem with bad-faith actors looking to troll Wolfwren shippers and I do not have the patience to deal with that, but also I do want to talk about them because they're lovely.

So. If you are asking because you're a troll, the answer is that I'm a big mean lesbian who likes ruining Star Wars and gets off on making innocent fanboys cry, #sorrynotsorry, it's part of my Terrible Queer Ruining Agenda and I am going to be doing it every second Tuesday until society as you know it has crumbled into gay dust.

If you're not a troll: because they hit this very particular combination of Trope Buttons that makes me ever so happy, anon!

Because it's about - like, there are ships that I love because they are a type of loving partnership that entrances me, where I see myself or see the type of love that speaks to my soul and want to enjoy the process of rolling around in it like a cat in nip. Then there are ships that I love because I'm attached to a particular character where like - this blorbo deserves the world and that includes a healing love, a warm love, a love that cultivates a space for them to rest after the harsh world around them has bruised them ever so.

THEN there are ships where - the dynamic fascinates me and I want to dig deeper into it. Where it's not about cultivating love as much as it is taking what's on screen to its gayest and most extreme possible endpoint, and that's where Sabine/Shin really gets me.

It's about the deep obsession of nemeses and the way that can feel inherently queer. It's about the ways that they are both mirrors and opposites. The way that Sabine carries so much anger and self-loathing and shame and guilt in her little heart and constantly pretends that she doesn't. The way that limits her throughout the series is riveting to me.

It's the idea of Shin, who in may ways is a more successful Jedi but in other ways is a sad, lonely little weirdo who has no community except for this weird old man and pretends that she's fine with it but can't be.

The way that they are both successes and failures in ways that mirror each other, the way that they orbit each other as nemeses and fight constantly but in their darkest moments have a weird little glimmer of - not love, but the beginnings of compassion.

And I have seen lots of writers and artists who look at that glimmer and see it as the beginning of a 200k slowburn story where they bicker and argue and slowly tenderize each other into being people who can be vulnerable, who learn to soften their prickly edges to fit around each other. And that's wonderful, and that's a beautiful way to ship Sabine & Shin.

For me, it's more about digging into that weird, fucked up little place of what if they didn't. What if they stayed fucked up and didn't soften but those orbits got closer and closer together. What if it wasn't toweringly romantic what if the orbit was the path of a comet colliding with a moon. What if that was somehow what each of them needed even though they both hated needing it. What does it feel like to confront the fact that sometimes our desires and what we want our desires to be don't align? What would it be like to envelop that in the complex ten-dimensional web of denial that both of them embody; desiring but pretending not to desire, indulging but pretending not to indulge. How far could that go before it hit a crisis point? What would that crisis point be?

There are so many stories there and that's fascinating and a thing that I find fun to explore in fiction, anon. If that's not for you, that's totally alright but there might be other dimensions that I described above where they ping with your interests more.

Or, they might just not be for you, and that's also okay.

[alphawolfstabs]

ALPHAWOLFSTABS - BILLY

gifs not mine ~ Through cuts and wounds it often flows, In whispers only blood bestows, A story etched in shades of red, Of every tear and word unsaid.

Meet the Blogger:

Howdy, hello, hi. My names Billy, He/Him pronouns only, I'm incredibly autistic so this is a friendly autistic space. DNI if you're a minor, no TERFs allowed, and basic DNI criteria.

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Writer, Gore Lover/Analysis, Billy Loomis Coded. You've been warned

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Disclaimer for my page:

18+

gore/violence

talks of abuse, sometimes

talks of drugs and alcohol, not often

mental illness

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I will always put warnings on what I post, always! I'll put warnings and a cut so everyone can avoid being triggered on my page. But please, do mind the tags I put and please stay safe here on my page. While things I talk about may be upsetting, I do not wish to upset or trigger anyone on here. Please please please, keep yourself safe on my page.

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My Fics:

Animosity: A pre-scream - current scream fic! Slow updating, very gay stuilly. A tad bit inspired by Sharps Debaser but it's not really all that similar, I assure you.

Crimson Moon: Stu discovers he's a werewolf and Billy needs to help him figure out how to navigate. [Unfinished/no longer being updated. However, Cereal occasionally draws Werewolf Stu, that's the art that inspired this. Go check that out]

Fangs Of Insatiable Longing: Vampire Billy, Human Stu. Billy has to learn to navigate this world, Stu helps him, still follows the plot of Scream with a few added things. Slow updates.

Shut My Brain Off, But Keep Me Breathing: Submissive Billy Loomis with Dom Stu, this one is very self indulgent.

The Vexation: A cracks hip fic with Doug Van Housen and Billy Loomis. Slow updates.

To The Edge, Until We All Get Off: Sub Top Stu with Dom bottom Billy. It's Stu's birthday and Billy gets him a present, not super long but really nice.

You Like It Rough, But I Like It Rougher: Pure Smut, lots of blood and knives in this one. Be safe reading this.

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Up Coming Fics:

Malevolent Trinity: A soon-to-be Fic with Doug Van Housen + Stuilly. It will follow the plot of Scream, just with Doug added.

Unlikely Desires: A College Stuilly fic, in which Billy looks like Vincent from As Good As It Gets And Stu looks like like Tim LaFlour

Lost Years: A Team Loomis fic with Sam and Billy, Billy is alive and Sam kinda hates his guts but they get closer and become a good pair.

A Serpents' Song: A Fic sorta based around river dale, does include Stu.

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Requests:

I do take Drabble requests! If anyone is ever feeling up for me to write them something I will work on it slowly but surely. On top of that, I am starting Commissions soon for my fics. So if anyone is also up for that, keep it in mind for later down the road.

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Easy Links:

Stuilly Head Canons

Autistic Billy Loomis

Funny Scream Text Posts

Scream Script Thoughts

Drabbles

Poems

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Additional:

My Carrd - This shows my name, my interests, and rules for my blog. :)

My Discord: Alphawolfstabs. Be careful

Letterboxd: AlphaWolfStabs or Here, Mostly horror movies to be honest. I am a Horror Movie nerd, I apologize

[alexwilltellyouthings]

Entirely self indulgent rating post about the top 10 TV shows that made me fucking insane for some reason

10. Sense8

God, this was so good. Such a blessing. I saw part of the cast during a Pride Parade and it's one of my favorite memories. I felt every possible emotion with this show, I love it.

9. The Last of Us

This is kind of a cheat, because the obsession comes from the games, but it is what it is. It's one of the few games that had a big impact on me and I closely relate it to my relationship with my dad. Can't wait to cry my heart out at season 2.

8. Good Omens

It's a given, isn't it? That stupid angel with his stupid demon and their stupid God. GRRRAAWW. A lot of thoughts and feelings came from the fandom, I have to point out. It's been very nice.

7. The Umbrella Academy

I have the first issue of the comics autographed by Gerard Way!! I mean, yes, it's because I'm a MCR fan, but it became even more precious after I got into the show. I'm rewatching right now, preparing for the last season. I'll be a mess when I say goodbye to them. Can't even really think about it too hard or I'll cry right now.

Continues under the cut

6. Our Flag Means Death

LISTEN THIS CHANGED EVERYTHING TO ME. What do you mean we can have a show THIS queer? It's all I want now. I ate it up. I smiled so much. I wanted this so badly and had no idea.

5. Interview with the Vampire

Feels like it should be top 3 honestly but I'll get there. This is also a cheat, I've been reading the Vampire Chronicles since I was like 15. Growing up with Anne Rice probably messed me up but hey at least I have great taste. And seeing them on screen? The way they made it BETTER? And Lestat?? Who has been haunting me for 15 years on and off??? And the second season and their reunion and and and?????????? I'm STILL insane about them and will be forever, I'm afraid.

4. Doctor Who

Listen. Listen. Okay. Yeah. What can I say? If you get into it, you're doomed. And I have been doomed for 10 years at least. I stopped watching for a while and got back last year, and it hit me all over again. I love this dumbass genius alien in a way that's calm, even. Just a permanent part of who I am now.

3. The Untamed

The year was 2022, it had been a while since I had a proper fixation and I didn't think it would happen with this danmei live-action, but then came Wei Wuxian. Guys, if I tell you I fell in love. Couldn't stop thinking about him. Everyday I was plagued by his smile and red ribbon and tragic backstory, yadayadayada. I really like other characters too, and their stories, but WWX did something to me that I still don't quite understand.

2. Queer as Folk (US)

This was a looong time ago and it didn't really persist over time like the others, but it was my first actual obsession. I was clinically insane over these gays. I had no one to talk to about them, so for every episode I wrote several pages of notes to comment to my (only) friend at school the next day, the poor thing. It was pretty much all I talked about because I spent EVERY MINUTE we had to talk going over the notes and explaining the episode. Like, between classes, during breaks, everything. Months of that. She held on firmly because she was a good friend, but I'm aware it must've been terrible. Like I said, insane.

1. Dead Boy Detectives

Maybe I'm putting this up here because it's my current hyperfixation? Maybe. But I don't think I have felt something hit as strongly as this since QaF over there. This time I can participate in fandom so I don't need to write every thought I have because it's all a big talk anyway, but I'm still pretty much having those thoughts all the time for *checks notes* nearly three months. I'm writing more than I have in years. I'm back at Tumblr after I don't know how long. I'm staring at GIFs over and over like I have the fucking time for that. I'm distracted at work daily. I talk about it in therapy. I have the main cast's notifications on. I'm getting involved in fandom discourse sometimes even knowing I shouldn't. It's a nightmare. I love it. I love them.

If you read all of this, congrats! Now you know how my mind works, kinda!! I'm open to talk about any and all of these shows. It's amazing how they mess us up. It's also scary, but anyway.