#i barely get time to read/write
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y'all..... FIRST OF ALL. happy birthday hwa i love you w all my heart you're the reason i wake up every morning my mother birthed me but the reason I'm alive is park seonghwa !!!! SECOND OF ALL..........................
I've been writing the yeosang story for the laup universe and tell me WHY I'm only on like the first/introductory part and I'm already at 7k words...................... it's either going to be a very long one shot or a two-part fic I fear :( sawrry for taking so long but that's what happens when you have to work irl I GUESS
#thank u god for my job but#ong i'm so tired#i barely get time to read/write#and my time off has been consumed by fortnite T-T i'm sorry#cami's yap time.
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inspired by and as a direct follow up to this post by @strangersteddierthings:
Eddie is horrified. He remembers the day Steve is referring to, though clearly not as well as Steve does. He calls out as Steve raced up the stairs and hears his door slam.
āFuck.ā He stares blankly at the wall in front of him. He canāt believe things went so bad so quickly. Heās been trying to get to know Steve better, get closer and damn if he didnāt just blow the hole thing. Heād shown up early, told Steve he needed to prepare as an excuse to spend some time with him. Despite everything that happened over spring break, Steve had remained guarded, standoffish no matter what Eddie tried. At least now he knew why. Heād fucked things up before heād known there was something to fuck up.
He feels even worse about calling him a bully. Sure, Steve had looked the other way and even laughed at some of the mean jokes others had made, but he was far from the worst. That dubious award went to Billy Hargrove, but even without him, there was plenty of people who did far worse than Steve did. Especially because Steve is right. He did hit first, metaphorically at least. He can justify it all he wants as trying to protect himself, but that doesnāt make it right. Steve all but admitted that as he said the same thing. He feels nauseous at the realization that maybe he was just as bad as those he decried. That for all his talk about accepting outcasts and defying convention, he was just as prejudiced. Swallowing hard, he heads back to the dining room and looks at the clock. There is no way he is going to be able to run the campaign today. Heās not going to be able to focus or even play without thinking about how things might have been if he hadnāt driven Steve off all those years ago. He grabs the phone and dials Garethās number. āEmerson house, Sheryl speaking.ā āHi Mrs. Emerson, itās Eddie.ā Eddie is proud that he manages to keep his voice even. āIs Gareth there?ā āOh, yes! Let me go get him for you.ā āThanks Mrs. Emerson.ā Eddie focuses on breathing while he waits. āEddie? Hey man, whatās up?ā Eddie breathes out. āHey Gareth. Look, I know its last minute, but weāre gonna have to postpone Hellfire. Something came up.ā He could hear Garethās frown through the phone. āPostpone? What happened, did Harrington do something?ā As if he couldnāt feel worse. āNah. Iāll explain later, but can you call Jeff and Frank, let them know? I gotta call the freshman, too.ā āAlright, but Iām going to hold you to that.ā āFair enough. Talk to you tomorrow.ā Eddie promises before hanging up. He weighs his options for how to tell the Party. Eventually, he decides on calling Mike, know that the younger teen wonāt push too much. Heās dialing the Wheeler home before he can second guess his decision. āThis is Mike.ā Eddie feels a rush of gratitude that Mike is the one who answered, rather than Nancy or one of their parents. āHey Mike, itās Eddie. Listen, Steveās not feeling great and having Hellfire here isnāt going to help. Can you call the rest of the Party, let them know weāre gonna move it to another day? Iāll keep an eye on Steve.ā Eddie knows Mike is a confused, given how adamant heās been in the past about not canceling or moving Hellfire, but as he expected, Mike accepts what he says at face value. āSure. Need us to bring anything?ā āNah, Iāve got it. Pretty sure he just needs some peace and quiet so he can rest. But thanks.ā They say their goodbyes and Eddie puts the phone back on the hook.Ā With that done, he checks that the door is locked and faces the stairs. Now for the hard part. Heās not sure what heās going to say, if there is anything he can say that will fix this, but he has to try. Even if doesnāt change things between him and Steve, Steve deserves at least that much. Every step feels like it takes effort, chest heavy with guilt, but it only takes him a few moments to get to Steveās door. Itās closed, which doesnāt surprise him. He takes a moment to gather his thoughts before knocking. Nothing. āSteve?ā If it wasnāt for the quiet sound of Steveās breathing he could hear through the door, Eddie would think he had left. He glad that he at least didnāt drive Steve out of his own home. He rests his forehead on the door. āIām sorry.ā Eddie hopes Steve can hear how much he means it. āYouāre right, I fucked up. I made an assumption and took out my anger at other people on you. And that wasnāt fair and itās not okay. But I want you to know that Iām sorry. Even if it wasnāt you, I shouldnāt have done that.ā He lets out a hysterical laugh as he realizes - āAnd despite that, you still humor the kids when they talk about D&D and agreed to let us play here and didnāt punch me in the face, which makes you a better man than I.ā He falls silent, listens as Steveās breathing slows. He isnāt sure how long he stands there. He wonders how many other people he hurt this way, without even realizing. Knows he wants to do better, be better. He sighs, feeling his shoulders slump. āAnyway, I canceled Hellfire for today. I told everyone something came up, donāt worry about that. Iāll make up some story, make sure they know its not your fault. And uh, Ā let me know if you want to hang out again or something. I know Iāve been around a lot; didnāt realize that I was making you so uncomfortable, which is probably another thing I should apologize for. Anyway. Yeah. Iāll see you around, okay?ā He waits a moment for an answer, but when none comes, he backs away from the door and walks downstairs to gather his stuff. It hurts, but he knows Steve deserves space and to be the one to initiate contact. He has some thinking to do, anyway.
#steddie#my writing#fic#legit read that fic like 6 times in a row and had to write a follow up#have a handful of extra pieces as well#or thoughts anyway#like steve telling eddie about christopher#and eddie helping steve make a character and play in the future#after lots of talking and eventually getting together#his character is a dwarf paladin named after christopher#i haven't written in forever this felt so good#barely proofread so apologies for any mistakes
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carefully attempted to draw (still sick); wanted to give Shargon another redesign, this is an older version of him but the basics should also go for his younger self (idk yet about his lung replacement design; arms are posed weird to make anatomy clearer)
(wip, oc art, Shargon, he/they)
#ganondoodles#art#oc#oc art#wip#character design#im really liking this one ngl#posted this on twitter but didnt here bc its just a wip but .. idk how far i will get with this lol#i know barely anyone is interested in oc art#especially when its not my usual big buff type i love so much#everything needs a lil variety tho!#and this build just fits shargon more than the typical#if anyone can make sense of it-#the extra arms he gets (red ones) are bc he gains another heart from Eadrya so he has two hearts and two elements now thus changed#(dw Eadrya is fine .... it makes sense in lore but its alot to explain and i dont think anyone would care anyway)#not trying to be dismissive- just realistic to save myself the time writing it and disappointment when no one reads it :U#i need to put more effort into oc art if i want anyone to care#at least i know Eadrya has always at least one fan (thank you calamity <3)
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šŗšŗšŗā
#hey quick smell check from my plural followers: whats the consensus on just like. making a guy plural and it barely being#relevant to anything. like ocways. i havent done my Nice Mundane Research yet besides the usual 'getting informed' reading & generally#nodding my head at and making mental notes of the pluralposting i see on my dash but like. realising i had an oc who is like a decade old+#rn and she had a brief stint of like. 2011 'has an eeevil dark side' split personality trope going on. hasnt had it since for ...#like what? 2012? like it was short lived. shes just a very silly happy go lucky type now. but . would it be like. would it be funny to#reference that old short lived thing. by just giving her a completely mundane headmate to like#100% subvert the old bad trope kid me was using. like turns out this character was just plural the whole time but because her#characterisation is that she's generally chill and a bit bone-headed she's never really brought it up. would that be anything.#(obviously id still have to figure out how id write that if i did do it but like. thats just what all writing is.)#in the same vein as just having rep 4 stuff because thats just like. more realistic than not having it in the case of any irl thing#would that be like. welcomed. or would that be a bad call. whats the vibes. sound off in the replies#the setting is like. grounded and present day by the by. light science-techy at BEST if you wanna call it that.#i just enjoy bringing back old ideas and finding the more modjern ways to execute them. so. im exploring my options rn#im not set on it if its a bad move. just figured id ask u guys since. there seem to be a lot of u. and like. well. hello everyone
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trying to reblog all the art and read all the fics and write all the ideas... kcd fandom is SO talented and we are so awash with content right now im in heaven
#i cant keep up at all#ive barely read any fic#which is a shame bc im struggling to get down their characters properly in writing#not a big fan of what ive done so far#so i think im gonna dedicate a bit more time to reading bc the authors out there have them down SO perfectly#and its such a joy to read
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....idk in a fandom this gigantic how are people already coalescing onto a handful of popular headcanons and scenarios that just become the baseline now, when the source material gives us literally limitless possibilities to work with
#the torrential flood of 'jayvik with 4 kids' content im getting on arcane twt is incredible rn#but i do feel like im sitting in a bit of a corner bc i feel like the only person at this point who doesn't hc viktor as trans sobs#there's obv absolutely nothing i have against it it's just become a surprisingly pervasive fanon view that it's actually difficult to avoid#i think at least half of fics in the jayvik tag are trans viktor lmao#not to say i don't read any that are. but it's just not really what im interested in#i fear it will become one of those fanon hcs that will just be accepted as fact and if you happen to not ascribe to it you'll be ostracized#i've even started to see 'don't mpreg this you better be talking about trans pregnancy' like hi. sorry but are you new here#half my interest in the ship esp postcanon stuff is the weird magic and monsterfuckeryness of it all#like how can you not explore interesting other ways of giving them kids. he's connected to the arcane. he might still be in herald form#who the fuck knows. if i see pregnant viktor i would honestly prefer it to be Weird and semi-nonhuman thats the cool shit#i just. idk. srs please im not trying to say anything bad about the trans viktor headcanon it's fine and im glad ppl see themselves in him#it's just. it is becoming rather inescapable. the 'castiel loves bees' effect yknow.#i really want to interact with this fandom and im trying to like. reply to people on twitter. and even more now it feels like#if my headcanons don't align to the popular fandom big names' then it's pointless. i have no 1-on-1 communication with anyone#in this fandom it feels very lonely. i watch everyone make great art and jabber on and i kinda just watch and wave from the corner#anyway i'll just keep imagining my weird arcane herald mpreg or w/e. it's fun. prob will never write it tho cause the fandom clearly#knows what it wants and that isn't it lol. i barely see any arcane herald fics which is WILD. like canon gave you a feast and you're#ignoring it in favor of just having viktor be human in everything. lowkey hydrogen bomb vs crying baby lmao#i can think of three postcanon fics that have arcane herald viktor and i hold onto them so tightly lol#but yeah. this goes for more than just trans viktor it's about 'all timelines all possibilities' in terms of what people write in fics#it's for the most part very...tame? in terms of creativity of concept? there's darkfic of course but.#not nearly enough in the way of Weird that i'd expect given what's actually offered in the source material#'go write it yourself' well im trying it's taking forever and also the fandom's made me hesitant to write anything weird bc it seems like#there isn't interest in it. like bro even the number of fics featuring mage viktor is insanely low#the number of viktor permutations we have to work with and the fandom opts for the easy ones almost every time. sad
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Been trying to read some goku x reader fanfics (because I love him and cringe culture is dead) but there's soo few out there it's insane. I'm disappointed in this fandom for not loving goku more
#listen I understand he's married but that's what AUs are for#also there's way more vegeta x reader fics out there than there are ones with goku and that's a crime#he's the MAIN CHARACTER ffs!!#vegeta is written better and has a well written story arc that is true#but still#I guess this is the only way he could beat goku huh#this is should probably be a case of āif you want someone done right you have to do it yourselfā/#āyou want this foc so bad make it yourselfā#however A) I'd get too flustered writing goku x reader fics.#B)I'm already busy writing some stories for other fandoms that take all of my time#and C) I'd be afraid to make any of dbz's characters OOC (I need them to be accurate for my peace of mind or I'll cry)#so I will just suffer knowing there is not much of the fics I want out there#I have read a couple of good ones. but I'd only recommend like 2 of them#btw I gotta ask how tf is this possible. dragon ball has existed for 40 years and there's barely any selfshipping fics wtf#again especially pertaining the main fuckinh character. it baffles me. boggles my mind. makes me sob#star scrambles#goku
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i used to read dickens and wells for fun as a teenager and i loved them but now i find them suchhh a slog i dont enjoy it that much. am i getting stupider with age
#reading the war of the worlds in my own time and i dont think i can finish it i can barely concentrate on it for a full page.. i still like#wells' ideas i think its cool to read ideas of space travel and interplanetary war and everything from a victorian perspective but i cannot#get into his writing anymore i find it so dull. but i loved it at 16#i have to read great expectations for uni and its fine but i would neverrr read this in my own time. but i was reading a tale of two cities#for funsies when i was like 13 š what happened to me
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being in the house for a week and limiting my phone usage has done wonders for my mental health.
#cherry chats š#this is the only social I use and Iām barely here#not being out and dealing with different energies#just watching studio ghibli catching up on my writing and reading#we might even get snow for the first time#shit aināt been perfect by a long shot#but Iām not worrying or making myself sick#just staying prayed up and moving along
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i will always be a little smug about being all over spot before the movie even came out Before the trailers even dropped When he was just a teaser poster and an actor namedrop��� spot superfans riseā¦.

#i was deeply obsessed wjth spiderverse after seeing it in theaters#it straight up never left my mind#i made my first ao3 account in 2018 just so i could leave comments on cute spiderverse fics#the first fic i ever read was a miles x reader then i tried writing my own#what i wrote had such a cute concept i still like it years later#you met him at a houseparty thrown for the end of school and do something embarrassing#lock yourself in the bathroom for a bit and then go sit outside n he follows you and you chitchat#then u gotta go home n itās dark as fuck out and also winter#so real quick he suits up to make sure you get home ok Ends up saving you from getting mugged#but you got knocked out so he has to look on your phone to get your address n swings you home And by the time he gets you there#itās a full blizzard so heās forced to stay and itās very bizarre when you finally come-to because Spiderman is just sitting in your room#n he snooped and looked through your sketchbook which was filled w drawings of spiderman#duuude itās just like miles in atsv#anyways i didnt write more after that because i didnāt know where to go with it#barely an x reader i just wanted to be friends with him so badly i thought it meant it had to be romantic#i love it all these years later for being so sincere and Cringe#when i say spiderversr changed my life i mean it#itās been such an influential part of it
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just internally screaming because how do i want to be a published writer when i can hardly write and im the only person my stories seem interesting toāļø
#my diary#iām genuinely freaking out#my dreams are too big theyāre unrealistic#i mean iām really not that amazing of a writer#iām not doing anything groundbreaking#i only really have one WIP thatās worth anything and i canāt write long chapters i canāt write well#one time someone wouldnāt read it because it was too emotionally frusterating#iām just#upset i guess#my brother is so good at what he does and iām just better off going to get an office job or working in retail or something#i can barely call it my passion when i donāt make the time to do it
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i miss saltburn??
i feel myself slowly drifting back into the IT fandom again and im sad
#i love saltburn#so so so so much#but we're such a small community and we barely get any new content#i read and re-read so many fics#i try to create my own content and keep it going cause i love it here SO SO SO SO MUCH#even if my memes are shit#even if my prompts and writings are mediocre at best#i want to give back to the fandom that gave me so much#but lately it's been so quiet#it breaks my heart that i cant use the discord server more often cause.i want to but it just doesn't work#the discord group is so fun#every time i get in i laugh and learn so much#and i expand my gallery (thank you minty)#i don't even know where I'm going with this#im just a little sad#is a feeling like#i miss saltburn#but its right there#but not really#personal
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Gnawing the wood off my table edges waiting for the arcane fic I'm so excited I'm spinning in circles
Good news! It got too long and now I'm splitting it into two parts and I'm posting part one later tonight once im done with the last bit I need to edit.
It's gunna be like 9k words. The second part is probably gunna be longer cause that's already 6k and I'm only 1/3rd of the way done with the second draft on it. So that's fun.
#jacq writes#first part is 'learning how to be around each other now that one of us is a weird machine man'#second part is 'ooop we're still big in our feels how do we get over the past for our glorious future (monster fucking)?'#idk im having fun#my secret is that i wanted to give myself more time to force in a self indulgent bathing scene#we'll see if i can make that work#a scene which will surely read as 'writers barely disguised crush on the character'
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fighting for my life defending jonelias in the tiktok comment sections. you guys just donāt get them like i do </333
#i get itās unhealthy#it is a horror tragedy podcast#i signed up for unhealthy that is why i listened to this podcast and not a romance podcast#and jonmartin can be unhealthy at times too like basically every ship in tma is#i like reading horror and things that donāt have happy endings#that is why i mostly consume media that isnāt just romance#this is a personal preference of course but like why is this preference so controversial in a fandom that is literally for a horror tragedy#like obviously i do not aspire to have a relationship like theirs irl but that doesnāt make it less interesting#i enjoy reading interesting things#that doesnāt mean i think they should be reality#that is why i consume horror media#because it is interesting#i need to stop going on tiktok#i barely log on but everytime i do i feel like iām losing my mind#tma#the magnus pod#ramblings#i will not write an essay on my fandom opinions#i am a normal person#/sarcasm
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2024 reads / storygraph
The Principle of Moments
start of a scifi space opera series
a teen girl in the far future where humans are oppressed learns she has a destiny & a lost sister and escapes
and a young time traveler whoās given up trying to find his father through time, and is about to settle in 1812 with the prince he loves, but is unwillingly thrust into the future
they both learn their fates are entangled by a prophecy, and have to race across the galaxy, followed by a galactic emperor and the legacy of heroes from an ancient religion
#The Principle of Moments#aroaessidhe 2024 reads#this started off pretty good - interesting characters and worldbuilding; easy to read#but it felt like a bit too much was going on and I kinda checked out from the last third and didnāt care anymore.#It felt very much like the plot was just happening to the characters and they didnāt have much effect on it all.#Itās very classic space opera chosen one story! itās fun and ambitious! a lot of doctor who vibes -#but also like if you tried to fit the entirety of timelord lore into one or two episodes haha.#It also had a couple classic space opera pitfalls.. like how this evil alien race was described as looking evil (in various ways). hm.#I actually really loved the writing style of the excerpt snippets in the beginning and would have been keen for most of it to be like that.#but also probably with the book being shorter.#thereās humor thrown in there that was sometimes funny but also sometimes awkward.#The time travelers speak very modern (despite none of it being set in the present) which like - obviously anachronism is gonna be inherent#to time travelers but sometimes it felt awkward. or like.. the other characters didnāt comment on it?#There were a couple moments that felt like a tv script gag that just came across badly on the page#gay prince romance was cute but kinda was thrown in the deep end then itās barely relevant for most of the story.#The whole london subplot felt unneccesary. The random romance subplot the girl gets felt out of nowhere.#anyway it's decent! just fell apart a bit and didn't live up to my expectations
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thinking about writing a jmart fic inspired by my original story. would y'all read it or nah
#the storys about a woman who finds herself in this weird ass forest#where the longer youre there the more it strips you of your identity#until all that remains is your core motivation#your bare essentials#and it warps your body to better reflect that#like i have a character who was a huntsman who had to resort to cannibalism when he and his hunting buddy got trapped in the mountains#so now hes like this Grotesque Beast who hunts other people who wander into the forest#and i love him sm <3#anyway#so the woman is trying to find her way back home to her wife before she becomes one of them#but no ones ever escaped before blah blah blah whatever#and im having a hard time actually writing it#since its something from scratch#like theres just A Lot#i have characters and the setting but im struggling to balance a plot b plot c plot etc#so i figure i might just rope my hyperfixation into it to let it Do Its Thing so i can actually have like#a first draft#at the very least#idk#would yall read that?#not tma#helix speaks#jonathan sims#martin blackwood#jonmartin#jmart#get this to 10 notes and I'll do it#i don't need a lot of convincing#it's prolly gonna happen#soon as i figure out how i wanna rework characters and plot points
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