#i believe in myself i wont lose

[astrangecurrency]

IF YOURE IN LINE FOR SYDCARMY ENDGAME STAY IN LINE!!!!!!!!!!

[fisheito]

yakuya in MY swamp? in MY ecosystem? no . i am still in disbelief. i hope you all know that my particles are bouncing off the everything. i am using periods as punctuation but the state of my mind is naught neareth final.

[caffeinatedopossum]

I wrote a poem

"This won't make you happy"

That's what people say when I confess

Well I know they think they're helping

But it doesn't ease my distress

This won't make me happy,

Don't you think I knew that at the start?

The goal was never to be happy,

Just to not fall apart

A gravely injured animal

Does not have happiness on its mind

And in its desperation

Will take any escape it finds

"Things will get better"

That's something I hear all the time

But it's biased information

Even if its not quite a lie

Things will always change-

That's the version I believe

But knowing things change for the worse

It's not much of a reprieve

Hope is a fickle thing

Like a shape shifting beast

It's both beautiful and ugly

Depending on which side you see

Hope is everything you have

When you've got nothing left

But with just one thing worth fighting for

Can be a flame burning in your chest

I was born with this restless pain

But introduced to something new

There are few pains greater

Than finally having something to lose

[bugdogg]

if i ever seem brave for some of the stuff i admit on here, just know its cause idk how to keep shit to myself. i cower at the thought of judgement and then proceed to expose my whole ass to tumblr anyway, because i dont have a working filter

[werebutch]

Not at all the same as violent urges obviously but I really wish I had better control of my anger in general erm I can stop myself from being violent but I still say and do crazy hurtful things😭 erm

[toastsnaffler]

wugh..

[hecksupremechips]

The most validating thing about having a brother in law is sometimes I’ll make a comment about my parents being kinda horrible and he’ll just be like "DUDE FINALLY SOMEONE SAID IT IVE BEEN THINKING THIS THE WHOLE TIME BUT DIDNT KNOW HOW TO ADDRESS IT"

[mejomonster]

I feel distinctly like the universe is planning to shove me in a Particular direction. I dunno what exactly yet but i feel it looming

[mrsashketchum]

.

[kings-highway]

pre-relationship bullshit haikyuu teams probably had to put up with before various ships managed to get their shit together

daisuga probably was really annoying with like small/petty jealousy, like a girl would hit on one of them and the other would be standing behind their back making faces about it and mocking it and everyone else on the team just has to put up with it. and then theyre all overly sweet to each other to make up for the petty jealousy or some odd version of "winning them back" after the flirting event and the team is rolling their eyes *so hard*

i think asanoya is so annoying bc nobody can convince Asahi that Noya likes him. Like full stop. Eventually someone pulls him aside and is point blank like "Noya said he has a crush on you ask him out" and Asahi is just like: "Haha he was probably joking" and just leaves the scene. Like the absolute refusal to believe it from Asahi combined with Noya's classic teen boy inability to be sincere means that even after theyve both been told they somehow still havent gotten together??? how long is this going to take???

tsukkiyama probably ruins everyone's week the week before they get together bc one of them *saw* a confession letter stuck into the other's bag and absolutely went (emotionally) off the rails for the days leading up to them discovering it was for them.

I am fully of the camp that iwaoi start dating before they label it/make it official so the whole team is screaming like "PLEASE HAVE A CONVERSATION ABOUT IT" meanwhile Oikawa is saying "we just went on a few dates and kissed a few times it doesnt mean anything" and Iwa is in the background shouting "yeah I dont wanna be anyone's boyfriend that's lame" and then they wander off to go eat dinner together holding hands and the team is left in frustration because ALL they talk about is how theyre *not* in a relationship.

for bokuaka its mostly just Bokuto pestering every goddamn person he knows for like 4 months asking "do you think Akaashi likes me?" or "do you think he'd say yes if I asked him out?" and then one day making Konoha *snap* when he says "I need to tell you a secret" and the secret is that he has a crush on Akaashi as if nobody had known that

with ushiten I imagine Tendou was probably really obvious with his crush/interest but in like a very casual "not taking myself too seriously" kind of way so he's comfortable openly flirting, and Ushijima, against everyone's expectations, doesnt seem to mind the attention but is still who he is, so the whole team just has to put up with the most INSANE interactions. Like Tendou walks into the locker room and cat calls him and Ushijima just replies with a formal "thank you" and Semi is contemplating slamming his head in a locker. There's like 12 months of this.

okay okay but I think arankita is *very classic* in that Aran compensates for his crush by over-supporting Kita. so like the whole team gets super annoyed bc Aran wont risk disagreeing with him, is always offering to do extra work, is generally just sucking-up really badly and the twins suffer the most for this bc Aran used to just ignore their antics but now he's super annoyingly on them all the time to try and impress Kita

kuroken is a little different. Yaku asks Kuroo every single day if he's asked Kenma out yet. Lev asks Kenma if he has a crush on Kuroo every chance he gets. Fukunaga gives them a wink when they leave practice to walk home together. This is the only pairing in which the team is the irritant pre-relationship and then post-relationship everyone loses interest and moves on.

I'd include kagehina but once again the entire goddamn show is everyone putting up with them flirting so whats the point.

[need2bthin4himx]

my motivations to lose weight!!

so i wont compare myself as much to others

so i will be able to always fit cute, small clothes

so i wont worry about my stomach

so people will like me more

so if a boy ever likes me ill be small and dainty for him

so people will be amazed at how small i am

so people wont even believe i can weigh so little

looking cute and thin in pretty dresses!!

summer/warm weather!!

so i can learn to love myself

so i can feel happy

so i will look effortlessly good because of how small i will be

so i can be guys' crushes

so people will admire me

so people will talk to me more

so people will worry about me

so i can be small and fragile

so people might be jealous

revenge on the guy who played w me (bonus!)

and also..

so i can workout without hating it

so i can be less hungry

so i will have more self-control

so i will be more active

so i will look good in photos and videos

I am determined to do this, even if I fail one day, I will get on track the next.

[nakedbibi333]

i just have this nagging feeling that all of this is fake and i cant shake it. i want to believe it so bad because my current 3d is so shitty - dw i wont trauma dump lmao but its BAD - and i NEED the law to be real but everytime i start to apply my brain tells me its not real

God I can’t even begin to tell you how many times I’ve felt like this. I’ve followed the law for about four years now (& less formally for longer) but the thing that always kept me going was this: what would I lose if I just believed in it, even for just a little while?

And the answer was always nothing.

What you do in your imagination is completely private. No one knows your beliefs. No one can see what you’re imagining for yourself. Absolutely no one can judge you for what you do in the privacy of your mind. There is no action to be taken in the law of assumption. It’s all internal, so you lose absolutely nothing by just trying. You lose nothing simply allowing yourself to test the law.

You just continue to live your life normally externally, but internally, you are living as though you are the person you desire to be. You are thinking from your desires and living in your truth in imagination.

That’s all it takes.

So what if it doesn’t work? Then you move on. You live, you’ll survive. I reconciled myself with that a long time ago. But I can tell you with certainty and from personal experience, it’s real. So you’d only be doing yourself a disservice by not trying. And not half-assed trying, either. Genuinely trying. Anything done genuinely, with genuine desire, will succeed, no matter what.

I use this mentality all the time in real life. It helped me manage my anxiety and depression, and it helped me truly give my all when it came to the law. And it paid off.

[lonigiri]

nnn drabble with riize members 🩷🩷

(eunseok, seunghan, wonbin, + anton)

(pls dni if under 18 or ageless blog)

warnings: dubcon. riize x fem!reader. no nut november (obviously). all of them have like zero self control. seunghan making fun of his members for having lack of self control. smut obviously. use of petnames. anton being a cutie patootie. erm wonbin cums against readers ass while she sleeps.

eunseok ☆

•he tries so hard to go through nnn

•he honestly gets really far like to day 28

•but he just couldnt hold himself back

•that day you were wearing your thin lounge shorts and a white low cut tank top and he couldnt help himself

“eunseok i thought you wanted to get through no nut november” he just groaned slumping over next to you. “i tried so hard but i couldnt help myself :(” he pouted and sprawled out on the bed. you knew he owed someone money.

(the rest under the cut)

wonbin ☆

•oh lord bro doesnt last more then a week

•he lacks so much basic self control

•ESPECIALLY when it comes to you

•when he told you he was participating in nnn you did not believe in him

•wether it was him loosing to you or his own fist you knew he was not gonna win

•and you were right

“please baby! i promise i wont cum!! and it doesnt count as a loss unless i cum!” he was practically- no he was begging. when i said no self control i meant it. you kept telling him over and over again no. you had made a promise to him that you wouldnt help him with losing and you planned to keep that promise, especially since there was money involved. “no wonbin, i told you i wouldnt help you with losing, if you wanna go fist yourself then go ahead but im not gonna be apart of your downfall.” he started WHINING, he was begging and pleading, saying that it wouldnt feel the same if it wasnt you. you still refused and maybe after 10 refusals he let it go. fast forward a couple hours the two of you were in bed asleep and you had woken up to some rustling. “wonbin what are you- are you kidding me right now.” you saw him trying to clean himself up quickly. you could see the awkward smile on his face. “i told you i needed you! you didnt listen!” “wonbin i swear-”

seunghan ☆

• the amount of self control this man has

• he makes it to the end with no suprise from anyone

• and he kept you satisfied throughout all of november too he didnt just ignore you to get through it

“what do the guys owe you now?” you asked the male as he laid on your thighs as you played with his hair. “we all put in like 25 bucks so im getting the pot. pretty sweet. i dont know how all of them failed. its really not that hard to control yourself.” “i dont know, with them i think half of them would fuck a door knob if it had tits.”

anton ☆

• he tried so hard

• he wanted the money so he could take you out shopping

• it was like two weeks in when he failed

• he tried to hold back so hard but he couldnt do it any longer he felt like he was gonna explode

“s..so sorry, i wanted to stay strong but i just couldnt.” he said while his length was burried into your cunt. you stroked his hair as he softly fucked you. “its okay baby, we all have our weaknesses.” you mumbled. he burried his head into the crook of your neck as he came deep into ur cunt. he really cant hold back when it comes to you, i mean could you blame him ur cunt was so warm and tight, perfect for him.

[ganondoodle]

so guess what they released more interviews and i think given what a writing shitshow totk was and what they have been saying in all these interviews is actually painting a really bad picture; i dont have the time, nor the energy to go over every detail

but they were commenting on people wanting the more linear format back and aonuma himself basically said that he thinks people who feel like that do so only bc of nostalgia and "Why do you want to go back to a type of game where you're more limited or more restricted in the types of things or ways you can play?"

what .. the fuck, more freedom DOESNT automatically mean better??? like ... restriction can be a GOOD thing just as tooo much freedom can be BAD?? like in totk??? are you fukcing shitting me- what the hell are games even for then, has he had an awakening to the fact that he actually just loves sandbox games without realizing it???? im not playing fucking zelda for a sandbox, especially not when its advertised as a somethign else

its pretty clear that they want to keep this format going with everything they say there, ... maybe it really is over huh

also i hate how they kept talking around answering anything about story/lore; they go asked how ganondorf even connects to ganon since theres nothign about it in game, and all they got out was welllll we dont wanna say anything bc its up to the player; about every question you got the answer of "make somethign up yourself" which is just ... its really clear they dont actually care but dont want to say everything is meaningless actually, so they try to be vague about it and with doing that really just confirm they didnt think about it and they dont care- so no lore actually matters, nothing thats been said or established has any meaning bc they will get rid of it the second it crosses paths with their new -more freedom equals better- philosophy, they say its bc they want you to be "free" to think up anything but apparently dont realize that when there are no rules, no consistent lore or anything that it ROBS it, it stops having meaning, its fun to connect dots only when there are rules you need to work with and dots to connect in the first place, when you have an established world with its restrictions it drives you to think more creatively about things- but when there are no rules?? its fucking boring!! thats what it is!!

when you discard all rules i wont care to get invested into anything bc i know it will not be considered again, be done away with without any reason and wont have influence on coming or previous games ... bc there are no rules, anything is possible and everything can be changed any second, so nothing matters

(they also talked about the many viral videos of those very few dedicated people that make godzilla mechs in totk and how happy they are about that- i get that to some extent, but the way they kept talkign about it really just felt like it confirmed my suspicion that that whole mechanic was mainly implemented to let people do that since that gets shared around en masse making it seem like that is why people enjoy it while neither the game nor the narrative are build around it in any way ..)

it just makes all the time i spend thinking, feeling and theorizing about zelda like a true waste of time, bc nothing matters and there are no rules-

i am someone who greatly enjoys working with and around established lore/rules, its fun to me to recontextulize things by being smart or creative with it all without breaking anything or as little as possible of the established things!

if i wanted to do just do anything i want I COULD HAVE ALREADY DONE THAT bc theres nothing actually stopping anyone to just make up what they want! i DONT need canon to lose all rules for that??!!

maybe ill have to make myself believe the franchise ended with botw on a good note ... ono

[plutonianeris]

❝mars in the 6th house❞

This is how mars in the 6th house has manifested for me.

With my 6th house mars placement I tend to make my daily activities into games or challenges. In my head I’m always like okay let’s see how long it takes me to do xyz. It makes me feel accomplished to get stuff down.

The downside to all of that is the stress I put on my body. Sometimes I don’t know when to stop and I keep pushing through until I feel burned out. Over the years I have gotten better and reminding myself to slow down and be more mindful throughout out the day.

I have always had very high paced busy jobs. The couple times where I had a more low stakes, relaxed job I would start off thinking I was going to enjoy it and then I would hate it. It would just make the day drag on so long. I like feeling challenged and when I am busy the day goes by faster. When I was around 15 I got my first job at a restaurant and it would get extremely busy and chaotic as fuck and honestly I loved it. The dining room would get so full, people were chattering all the time and we would all be in the back running around like chickens with their heads cut off, bumping into each other. Some of my coworkers would get frustrated which is fair but honestly it felt like a game to me. I worked there until I was 19. I have a higher paying, more “professional” job now but to this day that was the most fun job I’ve had.

I have worked at many different places, but the posts that state mars in the 6th house will give you coworkers being jealous and trying to start shit are 100% right. In every job I have had there were coworkers that saw me as threat or would try to start shit with me. I once worked at a hospital when I was in college and the girls working with me (Who were 2-3 years actually older than me) were so hateful and weird. They would constantly be looking at me, gossiping (or straight up trying to argue) and one time one of them lied to the supervisor saying I was slacking off when I wasn’t (literally trying to sabotage my job).

A male coworker there at the time told me they were just hating. I do believe that they were because they were being weird and messy but I also think he was trying to flirt with me..

The rumors are true about your coworkers crushing on you with this placement. And vice versa for me as well at times. It has gone from flirting with coworkers to me actually sleeping with a coworker once. However those times it was never anything serious, more like in the moment things. 6th house placements really know what it means to have a work husband/ wife lol.

another thing about jobs, when people try to start shit it use to get me riled up and I would let people get under my skin (when I was younger). NOW, I laugh and even though it still makes me annoyed, it makes me feel even more motivated to be the best at what I am doing.

I am also quick to leave a job once it has run its course. I am not that emotional when it comes to leaving and starting over somewhere else.

I lose weight very fast. I don’t mean in the sense that I have high metabolism. I mean that if gain weight and I decide I want to lose it, I do simple workouts and in a relatively short time its gone. Its not an unhealthy or harmful way. It makes sense considering mars is action and speed and the 6th house is daily routines and my body and health. Honestly if you have this placement and you are stressing over meal plans or planning specific workouts, just do simple ones and walk more and it wont be as hard as you thought.

I do have a high libido, especially when I am in a relationship. Having a healthy and satisfying sexual relationship is important to me.

I don’t get sick very often and when I do, I fight it off in 1-3 days.

I can be very impulsive in my daily and routines, sometimes harshly. Like I might brush my hair very roughly without realizing or apply lotion onto my skin in a heedless manner. That is something that I did not like and I try to remind myself to treat my body with gentle hands.

My impulsive behavior was worse when I was kid. For example, if I could not get a necklace off of me or bracelet, it would make me so angry and kind of panicked, I would rip it off even if it meant it might break I didn’t care. Me doing what I wanted and feeling free mattered more than whatever I was wearing. This was however another thing I tried to improve on.

Growing up, in my daily routines people use to be mad aggressive towards me as well. Don’t get me wrong, I knew when I was annoying or pushing someones buttons, but the random spurts of anger at me would be very unwarranted.

I feel like at times I can be very guarded as well or tense. When I am angry, I feel it first in my chest and then my stomach will hurt. I don’t like getting worked up because although I can emotionally regulate, it still takes my body a while to calm down. When I was a teenager it would take a long ass time of me practically seething or cursing. Now after a couple deep breaths I’m good.

Mars is aggressive and the 6th house is my health and body and I have definitely taken my anger out on myself as well. My home life had always been very chaotic as a kid and I started self harming at 12 years old and then I stopped when I was around 17 years old.

On a more positive note, I love taking care of my body now. I would never treat it like my enemy or be so careless with myself like I use to. I like working out. I like feeling strong. And also theres a bonus of feeling hot as fuck when I am naked. When Megan thee stallion said, “ When I'm in the gym I think about bitches that I'm shitting on,” I really felt that 💋🔥

[bloggingboutburgers]

Hi!! Sorry to bother you but i just want to feel like im not sick and wanted to share my thoughts with someone that wont judge me

But i feel really bad, i really feel like there’s something wrong with me i don’t like sex and every time i had sex before has been bc i was supposed to do it, i forced my self to lose my virginity bc i felt like it was about time and i was too old for keep being a virgin. Also i thought “well, maybe if i do it i’ll start liking it like everybody says” but i didn’t, i didn’t like it but i thought again “oh well, it’s the first time (im a ciswoman)they say it always hurts the first time, maybe the more i do it i’ll start liking eventually” but again, i didn’t, i had sex with different people that i felt attracted to and it ALWAYS HURTED, also every time i had to be with at least a little alcohol in my system, so actually i have never had sex being 100% sober.

Now i’m in a relationship but I don’t even like kisses and it sucks bc i really love my boyfriend, he knows about this but i kinda feel like even if he is very supportive about it and says he still wants to be with me, I think there’s this little part of him that wishes that one day i’ll change and we can have sex.

I feel bad bc is it ok to call him my boyfriend and not just a close friend? Im i even allowed to love? Do i have to force my self to do something I don’t really want to or enjoy to be loved? Am i worthy of being loved?

I'm so sorry. As a thirtysomething that had the privilege to afford never to have sex, and who doesn't plan to change that any time, soon, I can tell you from my own experience that yes, not wanting it is valid, and no one should blame you for it. No one should blame you for forcing yourself to try it (because damn the societal pressure is so real), and for never liking it either. I'm so sorry you've been so invalidated just for wanting to live as you are for so long.

Seems to me that what you have right now is something you've always deserved and it's tragic that you didn't get it any earlier, but it's such a relief you have it now. Of course it's OK to call him your boyfriend. As much as our closed-minded, stuck-in-its-own-way, can't-see-past-its-own-nose society would try to lead you to believe, you don't have to have or want sex with someone to love them, that's not a mandatory condition at all. Of course you're allowed to love and worthy of being loved. And no, you don't have to force yourself to do something you don't want to or enjoy to be loved. That applies not only to sex but to so many other things. You don't have to force yourself to do anything to be worthy of love.

It's idealistic thinking maybe, but I always think communication is incredibly important between two people, so I'd personally recommend (although take for that what you will, you were just sharing feelings here, it's not like you came into this inbox to be told what to do and it's kinda pretentious on my part to write this in the first place) to share those fears with your boyfriend, emphasizing, if you need to, that it's not that you don't trust him or don't love him, it's that with the struggles you've had to go through for so long as an asexual person, it's hard for you not to be scared of such things even if things are going great. Of course I don't know your boyfriend, but if you have the feeling he's supportive, I want to believe that he'll be there to reassure you and keep supporting you.

And heck, if it winds up being a disappointment and he actually did have sexual ulterior motives he can't do without... That's on him, not on you. There's nothing wrong with you not wanting sex. You have every right to enjoy loving someone and being with someone on your own terms. I'm fortunate enough to do so myself, at the moment (granted, in a queer platonic relationship so it's a bit different, but still), so I know first-hand it's possible. And I sincerely wish you the best. You don't deserve to be doubting yourself, your happiness and your right to happiness so much but I can't blame you for that either. Society can really fuck up an asexual's self-esteem. But fuck that noise. You're so valid as you are.