#i can already tell that their new album is going to be near the top of my 2023 year in review

[robosexualunderground]

Super psyched to get this one in the mail - Nuovo Testamento's New Earth (2021)! That pink vinyl is super sweet.

As a...dark alternative...type, I am totally normal about this ~dark italo disco~ album. I listen to it when I need that sugar rush dopamine hit dance party in my brain. That is to say, I listen to it a lot. It's so sweet and any of these songs would get me out on the floor.

Good luck getting this one out of your head. It's definitely in mine! 🪩

[deanbrainrotwritings]

— HEARTBEATS AND FLATLINES

SUMMARY : dean was so focused on you he’d blocked everything that was going on in the background of his life as it were white noise. he didn’t realise how much that put you in danger until you went out of your date.

PAIRING : vampire!dean winchester x fem!reader

CHARACTERS : Clayton (OMC) 

WARNINGS/TAGS : explicit(18+), baker!dean, kidnapping, stalking (it’s only hot if dean does it), angst, unhealthy obsession, yandere!Dean, possessiveness, soft Dean, nerdy/dorky Dean returns, reader isn’t perfect, vague chronic illness, affection, obliviousness, violence, gore?, drugging, and more to come

WORD COUNT : 6.8k

A/N : this will soon fill the square for stockholm syndrome on my @jacklesversebingo card. lmao, it’s like venom/eddie with anne when she got engaged. I listened to MCR's bullets album for the maximum vampire vibes xx

Dean was restless on the days leading up to your date with Clayton. 

He tried not to make it too obvious, his deep disappointment and displeasure with your choice. Well, to him it felt more like heartbreak, an emotion more painful than any of those words could convey. 

He didn’t ever want to avoid you. He didn’t want to push you away by saying something rude about Clayton or doing something that would end up hurting you. He wanted to be near you, always. So he planned ways to avoid the topic instead, but you were entirely indifferent about Clayton and your date with him. He had no idea if you really actually liked the guy, or if you were nervous, or if you thought of him often. 

Dean couldn’t pick up anything from you. Maybe your cheeks heated up a little and your heart raced if you spoke of him, sometimes. But it was almost instantly gone after a few moments, like you just needed to find a baseline. It was not the way a regular person would behave if they ever were attracted to someone in any way. 

He was still a little rattled. Because you hadn’t changed. You still became flustered if he was kind to you. You always spoke to him, spent most of your time with him. It was why he got whiplash from the news of your date. 

Wouldn’t you, now that you considered him a friend, tell him all about Clayton? What would be your reason not to? Why didn’t you gush about the man any chance you had? Why wouldn’t you bring Clayton to the bakery when you came by? Why wasn’t your social media flooded with a few or many posts about him? Why wasn’t it obvious or at least detectable that you liked Clayton?

“Can you believe it?” It was the old guy, Nico, talking to his son Anthony. “Your aunt’s house costs $320 000, I can tell you it’s not what it cost when she bought it.” 

Dean slowly tugged his consciousness out of his reeling head. He focused on the sweet chocolate batter he was whisking at angrily and relaxed his wrist to slowly stop. 

“Do you think he’d be into a single mom? Look at him, he’s so pretty and young.” That was Tamara Stewart. You didn’t like her. So, the answer was no. He was petty like that. 

He picked up the crinkly bag of chocolate chips and dumped a handful into the batter. He tried to distract himself from his devouring thoughts by eavesdropping in on the dozens of conversations his customers were having.

“But Jon sucks, we’re playing ranked and he doesn’t know what he’s doing.” 

Dean gently mixed the chocolate chips with the batter, getting lost in their conversations until he’d flattened the top of the batter and scraped the surrounding area of chocolate until the bowl was clean at the top. 

“Nine murders already, Frank.”

Dean froze and looked up, watching brown eyes sweep over a bright phone screen. He could hear both heart rates rising in fear, their bodies tense as they shared the news. 

“What’s the police doing about it?” 

George continued to scroll through his phone, his brows pressed together in stress and said: “No idea, doesn’t say much.” 

Dean quickly took the glass mixing bowl to quickly pour the batter into the prepared muffin pan. His ears found their point of interest, the conversation between Frank and George. Still, Dean pretended to deeply concentrate on baking and walked to the back to shove the pan inside the oven and remove the croissants and sweet scones he’d made.

“I swear, this is fucking weird.” Frank rubbed his forehead anxiously. “They said it themselves on the first three murders, there wasn’t any blood at the scene. What the hell kind of animal does that? Sounds like a person to me. Probably dumped the body there, killed it somewhere else.” 

Oh, Frank. You don’t know the half of it. 

The following day, Dean was feeling unpleasantly wound up. 

He was hurt over your date with Clayton. 

And now, he was concerned for your safety as the day of your date came closer. You lived all alone in the woods. And there were vampires in town murdering people carelessly, as if they had no fear of getting caught. A beautiful and lovely woman was what you were to him, but to them, you were just a meal.

It didn’t just put you in danger. It put him in danger. Those vamps could easily move on, but a hunter could still follow. What hunter came by could find him, think the worst with the pile of incriminating evidence, and kill him. Or worse, Dean would have to kill the hunter out of self-preservation. 

He moved the murders to the top of his list of priorities because it still was all about you. Keeping you safe was all he could think of. It was like working a case again. Except it was easier because he was local, people knew him, trusted him, and liked him. What was harder was doing it alone, no Sam, no Cas. 

As always, Dean could count on flirting to get information out of police and detectives. A smile here and touch there proved that he still had it. Except this time, there wasn’t much he was interested in receiving because his entire body belonged to you. 

But at least he got a few photos of their files with his phone. It was easy enough to narrow down which monster was doing the killings. Vampires hardly ever changed their habits. But these vamps weren’t sloppy. They fed somewhere else and dumped the bodies randomly in the forest. They probably had different vamps from the nest dispose of the bodies so the locations were skewed and appeared random, but always deep in the forests. 

The victims were random. Three were dressed in running clothes, two wore work clothes, but the other four were dressed casually—killed on a day off or while they were out for fun. There was nothing they had in common, they probably bumped into the vamps, wrong-place-wrong-time type of deal. 

Their clothes were dirty, bloodied, tattered. They had bruises and cuts, but nothing that pointed to something that had human form. And to hide the vampire bite, the necks of the victims were completely torn by teeth. It was lazy work from the police, in Dean’s opinion, to blame mountain lions. Anyone with a brain would wonder how those people ended up in the forest to be attacked in the first place. 

Still, Dean had to find them and put an end to their nest. He wouldn’t stop you from going on your date, even though he’d previously planned on messing with your car so you wouldn’t get there… He hoped you’d be safer with… Clayton, and hoped that whenever he took you, you wouldn’t be left alone to end up as prey to the vampires.

All he had to do now was find the exact location of the nest and put an end to the vampires’ murder spree. 

SATURDAY — morning

You seemed a little more nervous than you were any other day when you entered his bakery. 

You asked him for some tea with honey, and he’d gladly obliged with a nice cup of chamomile tea that warmed your entire body in seconds. 

Dean, despite wanting nothing to do with what will happen on your date, wanted to comfort you. He sat down next to you, something he hardly did, and wrapped his cold hand around yours. You seemed a little surprised by his proximity, but you didn’t appear displeased. Instead, you turned your body towards him and smiled contently.

“I’m not exactly an expert in love, but shouldn’t you be… you know… a little more excited?” He asked, feeling elated that you placed your warm hand above his despite the way his touch made you shiver. You looked into his eyes curiously, tenderly brushing fingertips across his knuckles as you pondered his question with a fiery heat across your cheeks. 

“I sort of am,” you replied measuredly. He was glad he couldn’t physically cry because he would have been sobbing pathetically as a strange little ache settled in his chest. “I’m just trying to take it slow.” You tapped your shoe against his thoughtfully and he turned to touch his leg with yours, a harrowing need to be close to you overpowering any respect for your personal space. 

You instantly snapped out of your train of thought when he did, but your body completely decompressed as your eyes moved up to his face. He felt like you were seeing too much of him. 

“Slow?” He chuckled incredulously. His tone made you smile, but your brow raised, inquiring about his humour. “I think you might be takin’ it :0so slow you’re leaving your emotions behind a little. Most people would’ve been talking about their partner-to-be any chance they got.” The more he spoke, the hotter your face got. At least you finally looked away, appearing somewhat guilty. He slowly pulled his hand away from yours as your heat turned his want into need. “I guess I’m just wondering why you’re so nervous. You… like… the guy, you shouldn’t be this nervous,” he muttered.

He was glad you didn’t think much about the discontented tone of his voice, but you thought again for a few minutes after considering his words. “I’m… always watching people. I don’t need stuff to happen to me to learn something about life. For one, I’ve seen people falling hard and fast for someone... then it all falls apart, they're stupefied by the other person…” You breathed and ended your ramble. “Basically, I’m just trying to be smart and rational, so that I don’t end up in a bad situation.”

Dean blinked at you. 

Suddenly, everything that you were seemed to make sense. It dawned on him that you weren’t trying to be mysterious at all. You were just… calculating, and you applied that same logic to everything in your life. You always took long pauses to think before you spoke, you reacted slowly to his advances to contemplate him and then you made your move—depending on what you thought was appropriate, like a game. You were quiet because you were always observing others, learning from them, and then applying what you learned—to be accepted. You kept people at a distance out of fear and he knew more about that than anyone. 

“I don’t think there’s anything rational about love.” He knew that better than anyone, too. Why was he standing so close to you now? Knowing you could feel his unusually heatless body. Why did he stick around knowing he’d stolen your things and photographed items in your home? Why when you could easily find out that he was stalking you? That he’d broken into your home. That he longed for you and stayed by your side even though you didn’t and probably never would.

“That’s exactly why I’m trying to control it as much as I can. To have something seize me that way, to make me feel like I’m losing control of myself. I don’t think I can handle that kind of thing-”

“So that’s what it’s about? Staying in control?” He wanted to laugh. You and him were more alike than he thought. Not only did he have to restrain himself with his hunger for blood, but he had to wrest his desire to keep you all to himself. 

“Well, I think I’ve been through enough that it makes sense for me to be… controlling,” you argued indignantly. Your pout made him laugh, and his laugh made you smile. Then, you sobered. “I had no control over a lot of things in my childhood, even as I grew older. Even my illness dictated how I lived my life. There’s a lot of things. Abusive friends. My father. I was powerless most of my life. So yeah, I… I guess I’m just afraid to feel that way again. And love, romance, that’s even worse.”

Dean wondered with hope if you were trying to control yourself around him; if your date with Clayton was your way of controlling the way you really felt; if you felt so afraid about how strongly you might want or even need him, and forewished that it might be as much as he needed you. 

Dean reached out to grab your chin and made you look up at him again. You bit your lip and lifted your eyes from his shoulder to look at the greenness of his. He could already sense the blood rising to your face and your hand gently wrapped around his wrist, but you didn’t push him away. 

“When you find the right person, you won’t be afraid to lose yourself. Trust me.” Dean’s stomach somersaulted when your eyes dropped down to his lips and you licked your own. You pushed his hand away to wrap your arms around his neck, and he welcomed your first embrace. He could feel your warm breath by his ear, feel the heat of your body like the surface of the sun kissing his own when he circled his arms around your waist, and your heart thudded heavily, echoing against his empty chest.

SATURDAY — evening

The sun had set, swallowed by the horizon, pushed back by dark-blueness, leaving the moon behind in tall green trees. 

Damp dirt crunched beneath his once-retired boots. The scent of wet earth and rotten wood from the abandoned house the nest was vacating filled him with painful, nostalgic memories. He could smell human blood and salty sweat, he could hear quiet whimpers and panicked breathing. New victims. He focused on that instead.

He knew that facing the nest after the sun had set meant they were all going to be more awake. He could’ve missed work to do it during the day, but then it meant he wouldn’t have seen you. And he would not have been able to be so close to you, to fill his lungs with the delectable scent of everything that was you, to feel the sunniness of your body pressed against yours when you held him in your arms. 

He’d cherish that forever, if it was all you could give him. You wouldn’t ever know, but if you never chose him, he’d hide in the shadows of your life and do absolutely anything for you. Always.

Dean’s fingers twitched at the back door he was about to enter. Was he really just going to burst in there without getting a proper look inside? He cautiously made his way around the house to catch glimpses of the inside of the dark and ruined house. 

He counted the vampires downstairs, four women, two men, and the victims, two men. He couldn’t sense much from the second floor of the house, but he had to make do and act before they could kill the men. Dean could hear one of them, his weakened heartbeat, shallow breaths, not much energy left. The other must have been freshly caught… what a morbid way of putting it. 

He internally hyped himself up, swung his machete in his hand—like riding a bike. Hopefully. The sharpened edge of the machete was coated in a sticky layer of dead man’s blood, which intoxicated him slightly, but it had to be done. 

Now, he entered. 

He was greeted with hisses and bared fangs, and was thrown into decrepit walls and shoddy furniture. He was punched and clawed at, tackled and dragged across sodden and grimey floorboards. He was even bitten pointlessly by them. His skin healed and he stood back up and slashed his way through the modest, abandoned building. His freckled face, grey t-shirt, and old blue flannel spattered with blood. His jeans were covered in mud, old rain, and spilled vampire blood. 

His body thrummed and he felt alive. All those sensations against his skin were magnified and spectacular. He felt almost as alive as you made him feel. Saving people. Hunting things. It was like revisiting an old friend and going over fond memories. The family business, emphasis on the family. 

He’d tried so hard to get out. He did get out. But going back in was like relapsing, going back to a habit that he had always known was bad for him, deep down. 

Finished with the vampires downstairs, Dean hastily untied the men and ordered the more-lucid one to run and not stop until he was safe with the much weaker man. The man, Blue Shirt, had no idea what to think, didn’t argue and struggled to speed up as he carried Yellow Shirt out of the hell hole they had almost died in. 

Dean jogged upstairs and stopped at the woman who smirked at him. As if they knew each other, as if she had been expecting him. Uh-oh? Then two other vampires appeared behind her, bigger than the ones he’d killed downstairs, retracting their fangs with menace. 

“You don’t think we’d all just be waiting here… did you, Dean?” 

“What?” He voiced his bewildered thoughts. 

She took the opportunity to knock the machete out of his hand, as he assessed the two other vampires and attempted to absorb her words. She grabbed him by his neck to smile sweetly, only to smash his face into the window, and effortlessly threw him to—Yogi and Boo Boo. Dean smirked at them as they held him up, because the other guy was short, Boo Boo. That really eased the dull pain in his face. 

Now, he faced her again and she traced his jawline with her cold fingers. At that moment, as he sized her up, he decided she looked like Selene from Underworld. 

“The rest of the nest is out watching that pretty lady you’re obsessed with…” Dean’s face fell, enough to amuse Selene far more than she already was. “What’s her name…? Whatever, good… taste…” She smirked and leaned into Dean, enough for him to feel the dull air of her breath. 

“No,” he grunted, struggling against Yogi and Boo Boo as thoughts of you filled his mind. Thoughts of you going up against horrifying monsters you were not aware of and that you were not prepared to face. Why you? Why would they do that to you? 

“Yes, she’ll probably be as sweet as all that food you feed her.” Selene moved away to look out the shattered window, thoughtfully. “Does she smell good? God, I wouldn’t be able to stand as close to her as you love to be. I’d eat her right up, feel her body go limp as I swallow her warm blood… yummy.” 

Yogi and Boo Boo laughed cruelly, the grins on their faces that Dean peeked at showed their agreement with her words. 

“Shut up,” Dean growled. “Why are you going after her? What do you want with her?” It didn’t make sense for them to go after you. You were everything to him, but to them, you were nobody. Just a human. Unless it was about him. God, why did he have to piss so many monsters off?

Instead of responding to his question, she changed the subject and asked: “Alia saw you hunt coyotes and bobcats? What’s that like?”

Dean did not want to waste time talking about his diet if your life was in danger. It was a rash move to lunge at her, but his mouth connected with her neck and his fangs retracted on instinct, piercing hard flesh and disgusting blood that he sucked until she fell. 

He struggled against Yogi and Boo Boo’s grip, and was eventually torn off of her by them. Not without taking a chunk of her neck, which he spit out along with the blood he’d sucked from her already-dead body. He fought harder this time, for you and managed to get Yogi tangled up in Boo Boo when he shoved them into each other to swipe his machete from the floor as Selene recovered. 

He was grabbed roughly by Yogi or Boo Boo when they’d scrambled back up, but he kept his grip on the machete as he hit the wall one of them had pushed him into. He groaned as he turned, swung the machete, and Yogi’s head thumped loudly on the ground, a spray of his blood covered Dean, Boo Boo, and the wall. 

Selene kicked the back of his knee so he fell to the floor with a loud crack, and he was kneed in the face by fucking Boo Boo, then tackled into him by Selene. God, will it end?

Dean scrambled to get back up and removed her from his body by slamming himself with her on her back into the wall. Her breath rushed out as her body hit the wall painfully loud. Dean had barely managed to stand up straight when Boo Boo began to charge at him. Dean used Boo Boo’s brute strength to knock him into Selene before she could get up properly. 

Dean picked up his weapon again and drove the sharp edge across the back of Boo Boo’s head so he could see his brain slice through the middle with the partially diagonal slice from his machete. Dean kicked part of Boo Boo’s head away as Selene shoved his body off her. She stayed down and sighed defeatedly while glaring up at Dean. 

"It has come to this, the hunted, becoming the hunters to the hunted."(1) Dean quoted smugly, swinging the machete in his hand smoothly. 

“What?” She spat, wiping Boo Boo’s blood from her face. 

“Seriously? All this time on your hands and you don’t pick up a fucking vampire movie?” Dean rolled his eyes at her unwavering glare and sighed, squeezing his fist around the handle of the machete. “Can’t say this was nice, but, uh—it kinda was, actually. Huh.”  

Dean wiped his face with his flannel as he tore through the road on his way to you. Thank fuck you’d let him know where you’d have your date, even though his intentions weren’t exactly pure. If he hadn’t had to go after the nest, he probably would have sat nearby to hear everything you had to say. Maybe he’d even planned to interrupt your date and stir up some jealousy and.. but perhaps it was good the universe prevented that from happening. 

The only problem was that you were in danger. He had no idea what he would say to you once he stood before you at that restaurant-brewery where they made your favourite burgers. What could he say without sounding batshit crazy? Without frightening you to the point of making you want to be far away from him—forever?

That didn’t matter. If you didn’t listen, he'd have to force you, for once, into listening to him so you wouldn’t be in danger. So you wouldn’t die. You were human. You were all he had and even though your life was fleeting, he wanted to make sure you got to live a fulfilling life. With or without him. That’s all that mattered. He’d risk it all for you, in this life or death moment.

Finally, he realised he was close to the bar and parked nearby, in the darkened back alley where there was a woman smoking at the first door, a cat with its head buried in a bucket of popcorn at the garbage, and a homeless man covered in ragged blankets near the end of the alley. 

Dean didn’t bother with looking around for much longer. The vampires wouldn’t be going in after him, unless they were stupid. He just needed to go in and get you out, by his side where you were safer. With someone who could protect you against the horrors of the night. And not Clayton, the kind, safe, and boring mechanic that everyone knew and trusted because he wouldn’t charge extra, or lie, or… who was Dean kidding? Clayton was perfect for you. 

Dean broke the door’s handle and pushed his way through people and the cooks, and the man cleaning. He was glared at, but ignored for the most part as he made his way to the front. As per usual, Dean could find you without looking. He could sense you, the way your heart would beat, the brush of your hands across your skin, and the delicious taste of your body. You stood out like the sun in the sky. 

He found you in a beautiful deep red blouse that made you the centre of the entire bar. Without even intending on it. You were so delicate and beautiful, he had to save you. He couldn’t imagine the large cavity the lack of your existence would create, he always wanted to breathe your air and feel your heat and hear your sweet voice. Even if you didn’t belong to him. 

But soon, it was all smothered by Clayton. Dean could smell the remnants of engine fuel and cologne. Clayton with his blond hair and blue eyes and… ugh. It could be Dean beside you. 

It was as if you could feel him. You shivered and your eyes drifted away from Clayton as he spoke enthusiastically about his nephew. Your soft eyes met Dean’s and you looked surprised, then happy, and finally concerned in an instant. Had Dean not experienced time the way he did, he would not have noticed the rapid change in your expression. 

You sat up straight and Clayton finally shut up to look where you were looking. Dean forced his legs to keep moving, fighting against the tar that was created by his endless amazement at your perfect existence. He’d fight gravity to get closer to you, defying every law to protect you, like the Moon and the Earth. He was meant to be next to you. 

“Dean? Wha-what are you… doing here? Wh-what happened? You’re covered in… blood…” You stepped around the table as you questioned him, with a clean napkin clenched in your fretful fingers to find the source of the blood. You wiped away uselessly, before realising it wasn’t his. 

“I’m sorry, I can’t explain right now, but you’re in danger,” he whispered, wrapping his hand around your arm. He pulled you closer and you allowed him to as he scanned the room for any one suspicious or… undead. There was no one. 

“What are you talking about?” You touched his bicep, his eyes moved back to yours, and his face softened. Your touch felt like warm life being poured back into the empty vessel that was his body. 

“I’m so sorry, it’s all my fault,” he whispered. The unease and fear that shone through your eyes made his stomach clench.

“How? Dean, talk to me,” you attempted to regain his attention by tugging on the hem of his shirt—where he was clean of blood. Instead of replying to you, Dean pulled you closer and began dragging you to where he had entered.

“I just need to get you somewhere safe,” he explained, dragging your willing body into the back of the brewery and out into the alley. 

He heard you call his name multiple times, your hard-to-answer questions, and the apprehension in your tone. He slowed down only because he didn’t want to hurt your arm or cause you to trip and fall. Soon you fell into step with him and stopped bombarding him with questions as you looked around tensely. 

“Hey! What are you doing?” Clayton called after you and Dean, he had your jacket and purse. Dean noticed and you stopped moving, and then you stepped away from Dean. He knew you were considering returning to Clayton as he walked closer, but you stopped a foot away from Dean.

Clayton’s blue eyes, like a clear sky free of pollution, were filled with trepidation. He eyed Dean suspiciously and looked over to you. You were completely relaxed despite the terrifying, bloody state Dean was in and you were standing awfully close, trusting him despite the disorientation. 

“What’s going on here?” Clayton asked, but still returned your items to you. You couldn’t answer because you didn’t know how to. All Dean knew was that you hadn’t shoved him off you because of the urgency in his words, the stress knotting up his muscles, and the pleas in his Spring eyes. Why? Why would you just follow him anywhere without hesitation?

“Clayton, stay inside, this… is between me and her,” Dean warned, taking your hand rather than your arm. He could see the impala about a metre away. You didn’t smile when you turned to Clayton, you were still perplexed by Dean’s pressing behaviour, his determination in getting you out, and his insistence left no room for debate. 

Clayton appeared baffled and disappointed. He didn’t say anything, but Dean knew the judgement in his eyes as they stared at each other, the audacity is what his blue eyes were telling him. 

You squeezed Dean’s hand unintentionally. You didn’t know how to explain yourself to Clayton, but Dean saw the apology in the melted sugar of your eyes, and the deep frown of your oil-tinted lips spoke volumes. Your face told too much. Dean loved you. 

“It’s fine! I’ll… I’m sorry, I’ll call you later,” you promised, moving forward to squeeze Clayton’s arm which was covered by a white long sleeve. 

Watching it, while holding your hand, felt like he’d been thrown into a wall all over again. Breath knocked out, fury and jealousy boiled over him like lava. Dean tugged you away, but you didn’t complain. And you obviously didn’t notice what Dean had, Clayton’s gentleman-ly hand almost lifting to caress your cheek or move away that perfect strand of hair that curled perfectly around your face. 

“Are you sure?” He asked, moving his own long and blond hair away from his face as a biting breeze rolled over him. He ignored Dean completely. 

Part of Dean’s brain thought back to Sam, reminded of that kindness and the goodness in his brother shining through Clayton’s face. It didn't make Dean want to whine and throw you over his shoulder any less. He’d do it to get you out, but you would not approve of that. That’s the only reason he didn’t do it.

Maybe you nodded to Clayton, he wasn’t sure because he was examining a group walking towards you. His urgency returned when the five people approached the three of you and Dean sensed the lack of heat and sound from their bodies. Dean spoke lowly to you: “please, we gotta go now, sweetheart.” 

“Okay, Dean,” you conceded, but your tone sounded an awful lot like you believed he was having a mental breakdown, and you were just playing along until you got him some proper help. 

Dean stepped backwards with your hand in his and muttered a curse under his breath. He wished Clayton had just left you alone, but Dean knew it was too late to get you away.

Clayton glanced back at the group coming closer and started to say: “I’ll be-”

“Well, well, well, if it isn’t Dean Winchester and his prize pet. You weren’t going to leave without introducing us, were you?” The only woman of the group sneered. Was this Alia? Dean forced you behind him. He felt your hands gripping the back of his shirt and your face’s heat beside his bicep when you attempted to peek over his body. 

Clayton saw the way Dean gazed alarmingly at the woman and her group, and stumbled away to stand beside Dean. Dean could hear the rise in his heartbeat and feel the anxious heat that radiated from him. Those vampires could definitely smell the fear on him. 

“Pet?” You murmured to yourself with a pout.

“What do you want?” Dean’s go-to was to find humour in any situation like this one, but he couldn’t focus on distracting the group of vampires since your heartbeat began to rise and your hand clenched his shirt tighter. 

“Straight to the point then, yeah?” She asked, chuckling and eyeing you behind him, then looked at Clayton with indifference. “You killed a lot of people, Dean—” He felt your grip loosen up on his shirt and your breath puffed against his arm. “—You didn’t think we’d just forget about all of it and let you get away with it, did you?” 

“I didn’t kill anyone,” Dean asserted. He scoffed, his lip twitched into a smirk on instinct and she glared at him. “I don’t even know you.”

“Of course not,” she crossed her arms over her chest. “Remember Boris? We were part of his nest. Robert recruited us. You killed him, too, remember?” Dean held her gaze. Why would he feel guilty about killing vampires? “Because of you, we almost couldn’t survive. After you left, more hunters came. Those of us who made it out, those of us who survived you, they were hunted and killed. And then we had to learn to survive on our own.” She stepped closer and Dean backed up into you, your warm hands pressed into his back. “It was hard… I created my own family. And here we are. Here you are.”

She looked at you, peeked over his body where you were hiding. Alia—Dean was pretty sure she who Selene was talking about—seemed to consider her next move before speaking. “You killed them, didn’t you? Did you really think you could just move on with your life like nothing ever happened? And come here to continue killing?” Dean narrowed his eyes at her and her deep brown eyes glared at him, a smirk grew on her red lips. 

Dean needed to get back to the impala, to get the dead man’s blood, to pick up a weapon he could use to fight them off. You’d also be safe inside the Impala. He’d even tell you to go far away, to keep yourself alive until he could find you again. 

Clayton moved beside Dean, looking up into his blood smeared face, slightly shaken. “Is it true? Are you the one killing these people?”

“What?” Dean snapped out of his head, looking at Clayton. You whispered Dean’s name, as a question. “The police said they were animal attacks.” Dean didn’t care about what Clayton thought, but what you thought about him definitely mattered. He also knew it didn’t look very good for him to be covered in blood.

“Okay, then who’s blood are you covered in?” Your voice shook as you asked. Dean sneaked a glance at Alia and her friends. The cruel sneer on her face made it clear to him that she’d intended on pinning the deaths on him—she wanted you to think that. 

He couldn’t explain himself to you. Vampires. Monsters. Why would you believe any of that? You’d just think he’s batshit crazy. You’d be afraid of him. 

“You need to get in my car and stay inside,” he ordered, turning you with his hands firmly on your shoulder. Your mouth opened, ready to argue, and your wide eyes searched his face with hope and fear. Two of the most painful things he’d ever seen piercing the dead heart he thought could feel nothing. 

“Don’t touch her,” Clayton warned, pressing his hand into Dean’s shoulder. Dean growled and shoved him away. 

“Dean! Stop!” You shouted, watching helplessly as Clayton stumbled to the ground. Alia laughed carelessly. “Dean, what the hell is going on?” You asked, ignoring everything that was going on around you to gaze into Dean’s eyes. Your firm tone shook Dean, you usually spoke to him so gently and bashfully. 

“Tell her, Dean,” Alia was suddenly closer, “tell her what you are.” 

“No,” Dean barked at Alia and pulled out the knife he had in his jeans dipped in dead man’s blood and plunged it into her chest while she was busy gloating. You gasped and covered your mouth, stumbling away from Dean and the group of men that suddenly began advancing with menacing snarls.

Alia pulled the knife out of her chest with a scoff and a glare in Dean’s direction. “Dead man’s blood,” she spat.

“Leave her out of this, she doesn’t know anything,” Dean pleaded uselessly. Still, he placed himself in front of you, hoping to get closer to the impala now that his only weapon was in Alia’s hands. 

“You have nothing left, Dean. You’re all alone. Killing her is the only way I can really deal damage to you.” She lunged forward and slashed the knife across his stomach before he could dodge it properly. Maybe he was a little rusty. 

“Dean!” You cried, instantly moving to his side to touch the sliced skin of his abdomen, but it was healing instantly. He turned to you as he hissed and you backed away from him, thrown by the way he snarled at Alia with his fangs bared. 

Alia turned weak and fell to her knees. The five men around her hesitated, looking from Alia to Dean. But Dean didn't have the luxury to demur, so he turned around and grabbed you to push you towards the Impala. 

He didn’t care anymore. You’d seen Alia survive a stab to the heart. You saw his wound heal. You saw his… teeth. His monstrous face. And you were too shocked to move. You just blinked and stared at Dean as he unlocked the Impala to inhumanly retrieve his machete from the passenger seat. 

“Leave him, Ray, it’s her he cares about,” Alia rasped weakly. Dean turned to see the youngest of the group ready to lunge as Clayton stood, trying to wipe blood away from his palms. 

Dean turned back to you and gave you a small shake. You blinked at him and tensed when you focused on him. “Get. In.” He demanded, placing the keys in your palm. 

It actually turned out better than he thought. 

Sure, his clothes were torn up from bites and the knife they were attempting to use between the five of them, but Dean knew he could take the five of them. He could’ve done it as a human. He could definitely do it as a vampire. 

He was covered in more blood than before. His hair was sticky with it and so was his skin, spattered and smeared all over his face. 

Disposing of five bodies was harder to do than he was used to. Usually, he’d have killed them out in those creepy lairs miles away from people where he could burn them to ash. He had Sam to help. This time, he’d have to leave them in garbage bags, in the large roll off containers from the restaurant. People turned the other way when they saw them fighting, probably assuming it was a regular old, drunken fist fight. 

He’d go back for the bodies once he got you and Clayton out of there. At some point, one of the vampires knocked him out cold. So Clayton was asleep in the backseat and you were still shaking in the passenger seat, staring dead ahead. 

This was so not how he pictured things going with you. Now, you were traumatised. You were probably scared of him, even if he’d saved you. He couldn’t blame you. He was a vampire and you’d just witnessed him easily slaughter five people. Only someone with experience in killing could manage winning a fight when they were outnumbered. 

After dropping Clayton unceremoniously into his couch, Dean ran back to the Impala and drove you to his place. He was surprised you’d allowed him to carry you all the way into his living room. And that you didn’t complain about him taking you to his home instead of yours. 

He hung your jacket and purse on the hooks beside the door and worriedly sat on his knees in front of you. He whispered your name and you lifted your eyes to his. You bit your lip. “Are you afraid of me?” 

You shook your head, and murmured, “I’m just… confused and… I don’t know…” 

“I’m here… do you wanna get cleaned up?” Dean took your hands cautiously, brushing his thumbs over your soft skin, over your knuckles. You shook your head, ‘no’. “Want to sleep?” You shook your head again, more vehemently. He smiled softly, a touch of sadness pooling in his stomach. “Is there anything you need? Anything I can get you or do for you?” 

“Dean,” your voice was a little hoarse. He hummed softly. “What the hell… just happened? I mean… how… wh- I can’t believe that…” You trailed off, falling back into the couch exhaustedly, and stared up at the ceiling as you attempted to wrap your head around what occurred. 

“I’m gonna make you some tea so you can calm down, and then we can talk.” Dean released your hands as he moved away from you. Your soft voice calling his name stopped him before he could turn away from you. 

“Will you tell me the truth?”

“Always.”

(1) Underworld: Endless War

taglist

@rominaszh // @livingdeadmak // @lanassmarty // @murdockscumsock // @zepskies

@candy-coated-misery0731 // @stxrgazer03 // @epsilonsagittarii // @lyarr24 // @spnfamily-j2

@globetrotter28 // @deansbbyx // @lickmybawls // @jackles010378 // @winchstrdean

@deanwinchestersgirl87 // @the-achievementhunter // @deanfreakingwinchester // @k-slla // @madzzz0797

@laylaackles // @fanfic-n-tabulous // @kristophalis // @mrlonelycat // @taylortots-world

@evznackles // @ohnosy // @angelbabyyy99 // @girls-alias // @kezibear

@kaleldobrev // @iwishiwasntreal // @blackcherrywhiskey // @dayhsdreaming @littlemadamred

@xshortputax // @il0vebeingdelulu // @isadumbass // @take-it-on-the-run // @impala1967rollingthroughtown

@pasteldecrack // @imsapphine // @gravesphillip // @illicithallways // @saturnsooya

@vyctorya // @deanwinchesters67impala // @jgdhmeynsgn // @cheyennep3107 // @lovelystoriesaj

@deanbutwithmommyissues // @pieandmonsters // @simpfordeanwinchester03 // @klaus-mikaelsonslut // @daisydark

@hobby27 // @devilslittlehelper // @forever-sleepy00 // @pascalsdarlin

or follow @deanbrainrotlibrary for fic notifications

main masterlist

the pros and cons of breathing masterlist

dean winchester masterlist

© ALL RIGHTS RESERVED TO DEANBRAINROTWRITINGS 

do not steal, plagiarise, translate, or republish my work on another platform

[pepperonidk]

v. the next ten minutes || all i could do

"There are so many dreams I need to see with you."

Pairing: Lee Jihoon x f!Reader Summary: Jihoon asks if you'll share your life with him for the next ten minutes. Warnings: fluff Word Count: 1.9k

A/N: this song is the only one in the musical that jamie and cathy sing together! i did tear up writing this lol

join the taglist! previous chapter || back to library || next chapter

When Jihoon woke you up on a random Thursday morning before the sun had risen, you weren’t really sure why. 

“Baby,” he shook you gently awake as you groaned and swatted his hand away. You halfway opened your eyes to see the room still dark. Jihoon was definitely a night owl, so part of you wondered if he had slept at all. He tried again. “Babe, I know you’re awake,” he said while poking at your side.

You rolled away from him yet again. “Whose fault is that?” you grumbled. Before you could get too far, however, you felt Jihoon pull you back against him. You were surprised that he was wearing a shirt, as he usually slept without one. Letting your curiosity get the better of you, you finally gave in and turned to face him. As you blinked your eyes to adjust, you smiled at the sight of Jihoon already smiling at you.

“I have a surprise,” he said gently. He ran his hands up and down your back and the temptation to go back to sleep washed over you.

“Mmm,” you hummed. “Can it wait till the sun is up at least?” You felt Jihoon’s hands pause and you frowned at him.

“Nope,” he shook his head. “Get up and get dressed.” He leaned to press a kiss against your temple before he got up off the bed. He was already dressed in a simple white t-shirt and jeans and a black jacket over top. It was the beginning of spring, and the icy echoes of the colder-than-usual winter were very much present. You decided to humor him and get up and get dressed.

It wasn’t warm enough to dress the way you wanted, so you picked a warm and comfortable outfit instead and met Jihoon in the living room where he was sitting on the sofa strumming a melody on his guitar. He had been working on a new album recently, something bigger than the singles he’d released in the last few years. You stood at the entry way with your arms crossed to watch him just for a little bit. He was clearly in the middle of a thought, a new twist on his lyrics and melody being scribbled into his leather notebook.

When you finally entered the living room, you could see him chewing the end of his pen. Although he didn’t look up to greet you, he asked “You ready?” as he finished writing the end of his thought. You peeked into his notebook, a mess of indecipherable swirls and notes and circles and lines. You’d never be able to fully understand just how his brain worked.

“Yeah,” you smiled down at him as he shut his book and finally looked up at you. He beamed at you in return and reached for your hand and tugged you to him. You bent down to kiss him sweetly.

Jihoon stood and placed the guitar back on the stand before entwining his hand with yours once again and leading you outside of the apartment. The sun had begun to rise now, but the wind was still cold and you could feel it biting your cheeks. You zipped up your jacket a little bit higher in an attempt to cover your ears. Jihoon pulled your still tangled fingers into the warmth of his pocket.

“Where are we going?” you asked him curiously. Although you knew he wasn’t going to tell you, you tried anyway. 

“Uh uh,” Jihoon shook his head. “You know I’m not telling you.” He turned to smirk at you and you rolled your eyes at him. “We’re just going on a walk.” He shrugged before leading you down a right turn. You chose to accept the mysterious fate ahead of you rather than try to reason it out of him.

Eventually, you found yourself back at the park he had taken you through after your first date. It was near the university, about a half an hour walk away from your apartment. Even in the chilly morning, there were plenty of people around, enjoying the early sunlight. 

“The park?” you questioned Jihoon. “Why this one?”

Jihoon shrugged. “I guess I was feeling nostalgic,” he smiled to himself, as if he knew something you didn’t. (Which obviously he did). Jihoon loved surprises, both receiving them and giving them, especially when it came to you. It wasn’t a rare occurrence for him to pull you out of the house for a spontaneous road trip to the beach or a trip to the amusement park. Grand gestures were his thing. However, it was unusual for him to pick such a tame place for a surprise.

“Sure,” you concurred. “What’s got you feeling nostalgic?” 

Jihoon pulled your hands out of his pocket and pointed at the watch that sat on your wrist. He lifted your hand to his icy lips, sending a chill through you. “I was thinking about time,” he answered cryptically, pulling his eyes back to the distant horizon as you continued your stroll down the path.

“What about time?” you asked.

“Well,” he began before leading you to a bench that was overlooking the pond. There were a few ducks gathering near the shore and you looked at them fondly. “I feel like time is slipping by. Like sometimes I feel like everything is just moving so fast and I wonder where I fit into all of it.”

You nodded thoughtfully. “I think I know what you mean,” you agreed. “Three years ago, we were walking around this same park and the biggest thing in the world was my chemistry midterm grade. Now… well the world is bigger and so are my struggles.”

It had been a few months since Jihoon had given you that watch, since you quit your dead-end job and decided to continue the search for something bigger. You had reluctantly (mostly) accepted the fact that grad school was out of the picture, at least for now, and you set your sights on finding a research job or anything even remotely close. You landed a gig at your old university as a research assistant for one of your old professors.

Most of your work involved doing coffee runs for the lab and writing up data summaries and reports. It wasn’t enough for you to make it out of the “et. al.,” but it definitely beat working at a diner. It was enough for you for now. Maybe one day the wistfulness longing for a life that you wished was yours would fade into contentment.

“Exactly,” Jihoon agreed. “Life is getting so much bigger, isn’t it?” You nodded but didn’t respond otherwise, letting a breath of silence rest between the two of you. The quacks of ducks and the distant sounds of dogs playing in the park were all that filled the silence.

“I have a question,” Jihoon broke the silence softly, gently. 

“I have an answer,” you teased. “Probably, anyway.”

He shook his head with a chuckle. “How do you feel,” he began. “About sharing your life with me for the next 10 minutes?”

His question piqued your interest, a callback to your first date together. It made your heart skip just a little at the memory. “That depends,” you teased. “What would we be doing for ten whole minutes?”

“Well,” he started, pulling both your hands into his lap. “We could watch the little ripples in the pond, we could watch the sky… or we could just sit and wait while the time ticks by.” You chuckled at his words as he continued. “And if we make it till then, I’ll ask you for another ten. And then if you agree to that… well I’ll keep asking until the morning comes, and then again till the sun sets, and again and again.”

Jihoon paused for a bit as he waited for your response with a shy smile on his face. The wind blew his bangs across his eyes and you reached up to brush them away. He caught your hand in his and placed a kiss against your palm. “What exactly are you asking, Ji?” 

“I’m asking you to marry me,” he whispered against your hand. With his free hand, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a small velvet box with a silver band inside. His voice was much too quiet, too soft for a question as big as this. You slipped your hand out of this and pulled your sleeves further down your wrists and turned your attention back to the horizon. 

Jihoon was confused, but waited to hear you speak anyway.

“I’m not always on time,” you began quietly. “I’m usually late to everything, but I promise that if you can just wait… I’ll be there eventually.” You weren’t really sure what brought this on, but you figure that a marriage can’t flourish without honesty.

“What does that–” Jihoon began, his hand running through his hair.

“I know,” you breathed out, cutting him off. “I know that you have this plan for us to be an amazing power couple and I know that you’re so close to your dreams, but I’m still on my way so just… wait. Please.” Jihoon nodded, and you finally turned your attention to him.

“I don’t know why people run,” you continued. “And I don’t know how or why things don’t happen the way they should, but mostly I don’t know how I can survive without someone like you. I want more than ten minutes with you, Jihoon. I want forever.”

Your hand reached out for his and he reached to pull you closer to him. His hand snaked behind your neck to draw your lips to his. “This is a yes, right?” He pulled away to ask you teasingly.

“It’s a yes,” you breathed against him.

When you finally returned home, you were quick to head back into bed with Jihoon. He drew you into his arms and you relished the feeling of the warmth of his skin against yours and the smell of his cologne. If every day with him would be this bright, this easy, then what could every pull you away from him?

Jihoon’s arms were soft and secure around yours and his lips soft against your skin as he whispered sweet nothings against you, promises of forevers and lifetimes with you. Ten minutes became 20, then an hour and more. Would it be too much to ask to spend the rest of the day like this?

Apparently, it was.

Jihoon’s phone rang as you basked in his afterglow. His fingers were tracing lazy patterns down your arm and he used his free hand to reach around you to grab his phone from the night stand.

“Just let it go to voicemail,” you attempted to coax his attention back to you with a pout.

“Yeah, babe, let me just–” he stopped mid sentence as he took note of the name on the screen and he immediately sat straight up, pulling his arm out from under you. He cleared his throat and answered the call. Although it wasn’t clear, you could make out a man’s voice on the other end of the call.

“Mr. Lee?” the voice asked.

“Yes, that’s me,” Jihoon replied.

The man began to introduce himself as an executive from Hybe, a major record label. It must have been something important for someone so high up to personally call Jihoon. They started to talk about business, things that were flying over your head, until you heard–

“We’re so lucky to have you sign on as an artist,” the man said. “Can you come in today to sign the contract?”

“Yes, sir, I’ll be there at 5.” Jihoon was already starting to scoot off the bed, reaching for his discarded clothes. He was gone in less than an hour.

Taglist: @yksthings @alonelystarfish @coveyland @xuimhao @sana-is-ms-rmty @gummymintae @maverey

[nattinatalia]

Jack Harlow x Reader : NEW BEGINNINGS.

A/N : I don’t usually stay up to date with the timelines. I don’t use events that either already happened or are about to happen in order. *MIA IS THE ONLY CHILD AS OF NOW IN THIS TIMELINE*

You had woken up at the crack of dawn to drop Mia off at her grandparents. Maggie was going on a trip and she kindly asked if she could take Mia with her.

It was going to be a little four day trip but lucky enough, her work trip was for one day and it was near Disneyland, so she thought it’ll be nice to have a Mia and grandma trip.

You and Jack weren’t that worried since it wasn’t the first nor will it be the last time Maggie will take your daughter on a trip. She’s a wonderful mother in law and an even better Nona to Mia.

You were pulling up to your driveway when you got a notification on your phone. Once you were parked, you shut off the car and grabbed your phone.

Nothing could have prepared you for what you were about to see.

“What the-?” You gasp out.

“He did not.” You turn off your phone, get out of your car and make your way inside your home.

“YOU SNEAKY LITTLE SHIT.” You yell out.

You hear his laugh coming from the kitchen, so you stomp your way towards it.

You see your husband scrambling some eggs, “I’m guessing you saw?” He smiles, lifting his eyebrows.

You nod. “How?”

“What do you mean how? I’ve been going to the studio?”

“Yes I know, but you never told me this year. You just said for your upcoming album. It never crossed my mind that it’ll be this soon.” You walk up to him.

“So what do you think?” He sets down the bowl on the counter, and places his hands around your waist.

“I haven’t heard it.” You look at him confused, “Your post says Friday.”

He smiles, “I meant the cover and how it looks.”

“Ohhh that.” You slide your hands under his black shirt.

“Oh that?” He’s sounds worried. “You don’t like it?.”

“You showed people my nippples.”

He chuckles at that. “Your nipples?”

You nod, looking at him. “Yeah, my nipples.”

You smile. “I think it’s giving Gazebo and Confetti vibes. I love all your albums and I don’t like to compare them, you know this. But the moment I saw it, I know you’re about to talk your shit.”

“Oh really? Hmm.”

You flick one of his nipples. “You look hot, is that what you wanted to hear?”

“No?” He answers, smirking.

You knew exactly that’s what he wanted to hear, he has a hard time taking compliments, but he welcomes them especially if they come from you.

“Bubs, you don’t even know the thoughts that crossed my mind once I saw your post.” You take out your hands from under his shirt. “And not just over the cover, that’s just the cherry on top.”

“You’re a hard worker, you never stop. You have a movie coming out next month, you are already working on a new one. On top of that, you’ve been working on an album that’s coming out in two days? I’m proud of you.”

He squeezes your waist. “Do you think the fans will like it?”

“I haven’t even heard it and I know for a fact I’m going to love it, so they’ll love it too.”

“You’re my wife, you have to say that.” He smiles.

“Uh no, as your wife I’m allowed to tell you how it is. But I really do think this is going to be one of your best.”

“You really think so?”

You nod, smile and close your eyes. “Do you smell that?.”

“Smell what?”

“It smells like a Grammy to me.” You open your eyes and look at him.

“Babe.” His cheeks are a little pink, he’s smiling. “You’re the best.”

“On another note.” You pull back. “Can I see the track list?”

“No, it’s a surprise.”

“Can I know who’s in it?”

“That’s also a surprise.” He turns around to put butter on the pan.

“Is there a song about me?” You ask jokingly.

“Isn’t there always?” He turns around, smirking and winking at you.

“BABE!” You wrap your hands around his waist, your chest to his back. “Please tell me.”

“No, you’ll listen to it at the party.”

“Come on, don’t I get wife privileges?” Your hand goes inside his gray sweats, “I’ll give you head?” You tease his tip.

He groans. “Just head?”

“Mmm, No.” You feel him get harder against your hand.

“Maybe we can get started on baby number two?” You tell him nervously. You know how much he’s been wanting to get you pregnant again.

Mia was already three, and growing by the second. If it were up to him you would be pregnant every other year- which he’s a bit crazy in the head but that’s your man- He didn’t want to pressure you though, and you loved that about him.

“Wait? Seriously?” He shuts off the stove and turns around to look at you.

“Yeah, I think it’s time. I think we’re ready.” You smile.

“You know I already synced the album to your playlist right, so you don’t have to say that.”

“Baby, I know.” You reassure him.

He smiles and claps his hands. “We’re not leaving the house today.” He picks you up and throws you over his shoulder and starts walking towards your shared bedroom.

“Jackman, you better not drop me.” That gets you a loud and hard smack to your ass.

As soon as you’re inside your bedroom, he tosses you on your bed.

“What are you doing?” He heads to your vanity.

“Want to listen to the album while I put my baby inside you?” He turns around to wink at you.

“JACKMAN, BRING THAT DICK TO ME NOW.”

“Is that a yes?” He’s smirking and loving every bit of this. He’s about to drop a new album and if he was lucky, by the end of the year you’ll be pregnant with the second Baby Harlow.

Life was good and he was going to cherish every single second of it.

The world wasn’t ready for this new Jack.

•

TAG LIST

@heavyhitterheaux @harlowsbby @arination99 @cmalass @jackharloww @minkookie95 @deannaard @jacksmoviestar @harlowcomehome @fdl305 @httpkoylinnn @xoxokiaraaxoxo @hoodharlow @automaticpeachsong @amethyst09 @aliciacat20 @allyson15 @gabbylovesreading @stefansalvatoresgf @violetdreamsworld @carma-fanficaddict @jasminxts @itsaaliyah2 @itsyagirljaz @harrycanyonmoonn @neon-lights-and-glitter @awhore4moree

[goldennivoree]

THE MUSE

a Jimin oneshot

Warning: mild smut , mention of domestic violence and self harm.

Jimin’s brand new album was a huge success. His song echoed throughout the world and made his fall in love with him all over again and abducted hearts of millions of new followers who started worshiping him like crazy. Everyday of him was busy in promotions and interviews that never seem to end. Even though he felt tired but he kept his energetic persona in front of the camera giving the audience everything that they wanted.

But in The wake of night once the duvets engulfed him , he couldn’t shrug off the thought of his own song’s two lines…

Is she someone that i c everyday

Is she somewhere a thousand miles away

He was ready to give her the whole world , but where in the world was she ? His heart longed for her love , his soul craved for her soul , his body trembling for her warm touch.

He continuesly felt the need of someone who would embrace him whenever he felt overwhelmed with his success. But where was she ? He kept wondering until he fell asleep hugging a fluffy pillow imagining it to be her. He felt pathetic for doing this but he got no choice.

Finally after all the promotions ended Jimin finally got his much needed rest and space from everyone. With no camera lens following him he went to another country in search of peace. The place was not bustling like Seoul but it was calm and serene and not noisy , just like he wanted.

He was walking on the green grass just outside his small home around 9 pm whenhe heard rustling pf leaves coming from the nearby tree. His curiosity took him near to the sound and before he could look into it , something or someone fell onto him and he fell into the ground with that something or someone on top of him.

‘Watch out’ the voice yelped

Jimins butt was paining due to impact of gravity but the owner of that feminie voice which landed on him was soft as a petal.

‘ im so sorry , so so sorry. My foot slipped , oh my god , are you hurt ? Im so so sorry , she kept on apologising looking at jimin but jimin was speechless. He kept staring at her face awestruck by her beauty.

‘Please speak , are you ok? I should call a doctor. Stay , i will go get him’ she spoke and was about to run but jimin caught her hand.

‘ im fine. ‘ he managed to speak but his insides were getting electrified holding her hand.

‘ thank god, you scared the hell out of me. Please don’t tell my mom i was climbing trees , she’s going to kill me if she knows , please’ her doe eyes gained a chuckle from jimin

‘ I wont tell , but what i will get in return’ he thought of bargaining even though he didnt know who was her mom or where she lived.

‘ uggghhh, what can i give you’ she thought for a few seconds and then pulled out a bright red apple.’ Will this do? I could only find one apple on this tree. Wanna share ?’

‘ sure, come inside , lets eat it together, he took her into his house feeling ecstatic as if he was about to find his WHO.

Few days went by and they came so close to each other. They kept talking and walking around that small village. Both of them eager to know and tell everything to each other.

‘ you are here to stay right? Please tell me you r here to stay.’ She said when thy reached his home and she saw suitcases filled with his clothes

‘ I have to go back tomorrow. I already overstayed and now my company wants me back. Even though I don’t want to go i have to go tomorrow.’ His voice laced up with sadness he looked into her sad eyes and immediately hugged her so tightly

She returned his hug with similar desperation, her hands exploring his back over his shirt. They both embraced each other for the first time amd now none of them wanted to let go. The cold breeze and her touch made his skin tingle and he knew it was now or never. He broke the hug and looked into her eyes and the next moment pressed his lips on to her taking in all the sweetness in them into his mouth. The kiss started as soft and delicate petal but soon turned into a wild storm. Both were so hungry for each other. She pushed him onto the couch and jumped on him without breaking the kiss. His hands went inside her top feeling her smooth and warm skin for the first time. Without wasting a single second he unclasped her bra.

Y/n POV

Being with him for the very first time was igniting my desires and i was getting bolder with every touch of him on my body. I was becoming so wet and i needed his touch so desperately. All i wanted was him to tear off my clothes while i tore his. Seeing him as excited as me wasn’t helping either and I immediately threw my top away when he undid my bra.

Jimins POV

“ you’re so stunning “ I whispered seeing her melons bouncing in front of me as she threw her top away. My hands went to grab those beauties and I squeezed them taking in their softness. Her hard pink nipples were inviting me to suck on them and i obligated their wish. She tastes just like strawberries… I thought to myself. I kept on sucking them while she unbuttoned my shirt. Just when she opened my last button i bit on her nipple making her yelp. I saw lust in her eyes. I grabbed her and pushed her down and now i was above her. I removed my shirt and attacked her neck marking her all over her skin. She was only mine and i was loving stamping her everywhere. My hand traced her neck , chest , stomach and then i pulled up her skirt and slid my hand inside her panty. She was flowing down there

‘ so wet baby ‘ I spoke into her ear and then licked her ear

She didn’t say anything but slipped her hand into my lower and held my member in her hand.

‘ so hard baby’ she mocked me as she started to stroke my dick which was now begging to be freed from my loose cargos.

Her words further pushed me to be fiercer with her. I tore her underwear at once and her eyes widened because of my sudden actions.

Y/N POV

He was always so calm and serene. His nature was like a gentle gust of wind. But here we were tangled up with each other and i was seeing a complete different side of him. Even though it wasn’t required I was still trying to push his buttons and saw his cute smile change into a deadly smirk. My heart skipped a beat when i grabbed onto his hard length. He was as hard as a stone and was so big. I couldn’t have imagined him to be so masculine under those baggy clothes that he always wore. And maybe i pushed a wrong button of his coz he just tore my tiny cloth apart and here i was lying on the couch all nude in front of him as he stared at me longingly.

My pussy was throbbing for his warm touch and it needed more than just his fingers. He stepped down from me and sat on his knees . Then he held me from under my waist and pulled my knees apart ready to go down on me. My eyes closed when he started to kiss my inner thighs. But was he going to give it to me so easily..??? No. He was such a tease. He kissed everywhere but always missing my heat. I could feel him smirking against my legs.

‘ jimin please’ I whispered

‘ please what ? Say it my love .. ask for it and im at your service’ he said making the most innocent face ever.

‘ i want your tongue inside me ‘ i said not making an eye contact with him

He chuckled’ as you say love’ and placed his lips on my pussy . His tongue glided on my core making me shivrr with ecstasy. My hands went into his soft blonde hair as he started to explore my womanhood by going deeper and deeper. He opened my pussy lips using his fingers and started to lick my hole. My moans intensified and my stomach started to feel funny. He was eating me out mercilessly and i was about to cum.

I pushed him away and released myself. It took me few seconds to compose myself and then i pulled him into a deep kiss once again. He stood up and removed his remaining clothes. His member came into my sight.

‘ like what you see’ he said to me and i knew it was my time to return the favour. I got on my knees and kissed him tip which was leaking pre cum.

Jimin’s POV

Seeing a satisfactory look on her face was an accomplishment for me. Knowing that it was me who is making her happy was anoth kind of feeling. I was getting attached to her in so many ways. I realised that I can’t let her go anywhere anymore. She belongs to me and i am only hers. I was still in my thoughts when she pulls me in and kissed me. Damn , I can’t ger enough of these lips. I need to feel her , i need to fill her. Lust overcame me once again and i removed my lower and boxer. Expressions on her face changed when she saw my dick. I guess I scared her. But no … she was ready for me. She knelt down and kissed my tip. Her lips felt as heaven’s kiss. She took my member in her hand and stroked it and before i knew it she put it in her mouth.

Authors POV

few moans escaped Jimins mouth when she started to bob her head as she sucked him off. He grabbed her hair so that they won’t disturb her while she did such a great job of blowing him. it took her few minutes to take whole of his length in her mouth but once she did there was no stopping her. His length touched the back of her mouth making her gag. Jimin got scared and tried to take it oyt from her mouth but she stopped him and continued. Jimin felt the urge to release but he finally pulled it away from her and carried her to the couch and made her lie down once again. He didn’t waste a second and inserted his member into her core in a single push. She screamed because of sudden pain

‘ im so sorry’ he stopped in his tracks and lokked at her with worry.

‘ its ok im fine ‘ ahe smiled and placed a kiss on his lips

Jimin started to stroke very gently letting her adjust.

‘ youre goid to go’ she mumbled

And that was when jimin started to thrust into her trying to reach every spot inside her. Her pussy clenched around his dick and he kept pushing himself in her while his hand’s fondled with her boobs. He then leaned on to her kissing her while her hands roamed on his back digging her fingers in his flesh. Pain mixed with pleasure is such a deadly combination. She once again felt herself about to reach her high.

‘ I’m about to cum again’ she said , her voice shaking

‘ me too , let’s come together’ he spoke breathlessly.

They both came together, her insidez filled with his warm liquid

He pulled out , his dick covered with her waters. They both giggled once jimin lied beside her.

‘ come with me tomorrow.’ He spoke

‘ what ?’ She asked , her voice laced with question marks

‘ come with me to Seoul. It’s impossible for me to stay there without you. Please’ he said intertwining his fingers with hers.

‘ yes. YES. I’d love to come with you. It’s going to be empty here without you anyway.’ She spoke excitedly absolutely thrilled by the idea of going with Jimin.

‘ but there’s just one condition’ he said in a serious tone making y/n worried.

‘ you have to keep sharing your apple with me ‘ he said showing his eye smiles. She nodded ‘ not just apple but everything jiminie’ she cooed.

Soon they were in her house , jimin saw her packing her stuff. The way she trusted him without any second thought made jimin fall for her even more and he understood that both of them were never going to feel alone anymore.

…..the end

[torithehoshi]

CCCC Digital Doodle Dump - Oct 2023

Right - bear with me. Due to the sheer amount of digital doodles I have (and yes, I am emphasizing digital for a reason) and the amount of thoughts I have didn't make posting them separately feel right so I'm trying a different format for this.

The TLDR is, I had a lot of fun drawing CCCC related things last month. And y'all may as well be prepared for the long-run with me. My main goal was to get used to drawing HMS in my style (mostly hair and little design things based on my interpretations) and it's still something that'll be changing? But it's cool to see how things have changed and I'd like to share them.

Right - with that out of the way. Everything's under the Read More due to the sheer amount of text.

Second First attempt at drawing the trio in my style - and you can especially tell with the little notes I have (trust me - there's a version with even more notes).

A lot of my references were from the videos, especially Light & Night as well as the instrumental album cover, and fan interpretations I've seen that I liked and wanted to give a shot at (primarily Mind's mechanical hands/arms were from seeing @/maybedr3am's design) and some of my own interpretations or thoughts (but I wouldn't be surprised if some of those mixes with fan interpretations. Most of them I can't recall for the life of me except Heart having sharp teeth. I know others have done it - I just hadn't at the time seen a lot). But for the most part, there is a lot of me getting used to drawing hair specifically since I wanted them all to look somewhat different and it was good to practice that.

Some of these notes do not make sense to me right now - and I doubt they made sense at the time tbh (looking at that one near Soul)

While I much preferred starting primarily going off of the videos, Mind was an exception. ...Accidentally. I struggled really hard with him and still do so that note is funny in hindsight. I liked the robot/android-esque (?) angle/reference to 'mechanical hands' folks went with but forgot I don't draw robots much. It was frustrating me and in that time, I gave him snake bites to, as I say in the notes, mirror screws. ... And now they're just part of my Mind design because I like them too much.

Also!! I mentioned that I have a version with a lot more notes (and a different attempt at Mind I hated). I didn't really want a bunch of doodles of my sona around, so this version is for somewhat easier reading. It also left me with extra space for one more thing and I was listening to Dream so, a doodle based off the last verse it was! (I love that song, it's so good)

Second one which is a compilation of a bunch of different doodle sheets I did!! These are ones I really liked and also were mostly finished. But also each of the sheets (which is an amalgamation of three) were done at different times which you can see in my indecisiveness in what I liked in making Mind look more robotic bar just the arms and the one doodle where the hair sticking a top of Heart's head changes.

Soul, surprisingly, changes very little bar me not being able to decide if he'll have that accessory or not. Also me being stupid inconsistent with remembering to color in his hands (his whole body has that split color).

Anyways - like three of these are meme/shitpost adjacent. You'll also see me trying to think about how to incorporate the crown to Mind's design since I hadn't really tried - but I've since moved it to post-Cacophony or post-Light design ideas/headcanons. I like the hairpin idea a lot. (Note: In this headcanon, Heart also has something but it's a bracelet and... there's a lack of hands in this so... yeah. Mind made it) Also me doing a thing I like to just give random new outfits when drawing a character and... Heart's the one I had the most fun drawing.

The only completely separate one! Mostly 'cause I already had it set to be separate.

It's a height headcanon thing I drew to visualize things for myself since I'm not the best with height. All it is, is that I think they're all the same height based off of what CJ said in the Medium Q&A. But then you have little details like Mind wearing platform shoes that basically make him 6'0" and Soul slouching a lot making him "the shortest". (Also hi completely human Mind design)

This was also originally done on the same doodle sheet where the "Fuck it we ball" one was on btw. Time wise, that was before I started changing how I drew the little hair sticking out on Heart's head which - speaking of...

Despite still drawing them interacting, I started to make clip files to practice drawing them on their own. I was already kind of doing that traditionally and I thought this would be a good way to get me to focus on one of the members. Especially since drawing with my tablet pen and pencil feels different but especially with these three.

Also - focusing on them individually felt like a good way to get used to how I draw them overall. I have one for Soul and Mind now, but not at the time. Idk if I'll share more of those later unless I can format them like actual reference sheets.

Fundamentally, this serves the same purpose as the first sheet. Trying out a bunch of things, just letting my hand... draw and seeing what I like and don't. Maybe even noting some little actions that I see myself drawing them doing (like the hands balled up in fists a lot). Also! It explains why I changed the shape of the hair at the top! I think the heart shape is cute - but as I did it more, I found with me trying to make his bangs look like a heart... just for me and my style specifically, it started to feel much. But then I had another idea in making it a bit more cartoon-y, which was the kind of circle/halo shape to create an angel motif and it fit well with how I see Heart. So that's how it is now!

It's actually fascinating seeing that I suddenly started changing how I drew his hair? I started this after making this for the record (which now I remember - I referenced these), and something just... changed. I don't like it considering I was actively trying to draw curls. I have a better grasp on it now though - I think.

-----

Anyways - that's everything! Uh - thanks for reading all my ramblings if you did. I have no idea if I'll format any future art dumps/doodle dumps like this again but we'll see. Doing this made me notice both advantages and disadvantages to this so... It'll really depend if I have the same amount to say, haha.

[titleknown]

KAIJUNE NEO: LUMPY GRAVY

I saw it through the sewer grate. It ate them, head-first. Like a gingerbread man.

It didn't see me, I don't even think it knew it was eating them. It was just... they were there, they were there and it was hungry. It smelled like rotten meat. But that wasn't the worst part.

The worst part was, I could hear laughing. I could hear it in my head. I could hear it in their voices.

-Alan Smith of New York, New York

[Note: The interview subject is smoking a large cigar the whole time. Indoors. In a room with minimal ventilation in the summer. I hate him already.]

My concrete factory... just fucking gone. In an instant. Didn't even get indigestion...

...You know, this wouldn't have happened if you listened to the Prophet. Like, I know it's not "PC" to say that , but PC is why this country is in the shit. People want more, except the truth, that's why things like that're runnin' about.

That Lumpy Gravy shit's just another lazy slacker who wanted more, that's why our troops can't get him, they let the sissies let everyone down. But the prophet's gonna take 'em, he's goinna kill two birds with one stone, it's not clean, but sometimes you work with what you have. "When all you have is a hammer," amirite?

God, at least it got rid of the scum, like the homeless outside. Shame it didn't get that skitzo boy of mine, he keeps saying he's a girl, but I suppose that's not PC to-

[The interview ends abruptly as I get up to punch him in the face.]

-James Allen Henderson of Flomaton, Alabama, who should be shot.

Look, I'm just a musician, I don't know what to tell you.

Yeah, I know most of y'all think I'm crazy for making a pilgrimage to this dude for music, but I mean, it worked, didn't it?

Nobody got hurt, me and the band got out a number one album, first doom metal album on the top of the charts in years, I got a million more ideas, and...

Sorry, I got that schpiel for every media-type who comes in here. But you don't seem like the judging type. So it seems like you want something else, right?

Oh. Oh you want to know about that , the song I heard. Well, trade secret bro...

...nah, just joshin' ya, free culture and all. Well it was... a nightmare. Like, I don't regret going there, but I ain't gonna see it twice.

It's like, imagine the sound of pain, a million snuff films in your head clear as day without image or without words. A lot of it was devouring, consumption, digestion, memory as I heard it; but there was some other stuff.

It was like, experiments, reformatting, failure, revenge, something about a demiurge I think? Dunno what that's about. But, hey dude, you're a good reporter, you can figure it out.

-Jolene Gross of Tucson; Arizona, note to see her live one of these days.

Well, the government never helped us, but then again we expected that. Shame the farm's gone. Heh, funny how stockpiling all the guns in the world never helped, like cannonballs in a hurricane. The MREs helped a bit, tho they were almost gone when the thing left.

Farm's gone, I don't know where we're going to go. Doesn't help I took in some of the kids run away from other monsters, or The Prophet. Yeesh, that guy.

But, you always gotta help in a time like this, I don't regret it. Tho it's a mite harrowing finding where we can get some, given all the neighbors I'd ask are facing the same problem, but we'll get by.

I don't have much to give except my testimony, and that ain't much either. I saw it, I heard it, it was the worst thing I've seen. But it reminded me a lot of the second-worst too.

At the pig farms, big operation near town, there was this "lagoon." Not much of a swimmin' lagoon unless you got a death wish. It's where they kept all the pig shit from that hell operation, and worse. They said the stillbirths went in there too. What a way to start, and what a way to go.

Place could necrotize your skin in an instant, most of the people workin there were sick and some degree of half-dead, a few quarter-dead if they were lucky. Sometimes you couldn't see the sun from that sheer fog.

There's that ol story in the bible, where Jesus cast out those demons into that herd of pigs. Cast 'em into that sea. Trouble is, the sea's still there, and if you cast demons into it, it don't go away.

And when it waded into that shit lagoon from underground, rising like the shit of king mountain, when I heard those voices, I thought, it's him. It's Legion. He's back.

Well, before I ran, of course...

-Jim Daniels, of Horsemouth, Iowa, his paypal information is linked at the end of the article

Sometimes, I still hear her voice. It's following me. I think it's following me. I hear her voice and it's screaming in pain but I still hear it it is hers.

I know it's a trick i know it wants me to hear it but shes still in there i can hear her i can know her it just has to eat me it just wants to eat me i dont want to be eaten i want to live but to live without her is to die and to die with her is to live it hurts i can hear her i can hear her i can hear her

-Ray Morris, who ran out of the office after sobbing for several minutes

Like, I know, I know it's horrible, it's an atrocity, but like, business has been great for me so far.

Do you know how much money there is in arranging death pacts? Tontines? Insurance schemes because they won't insure an act of God? This mountain of human suffering is a goldmine, like an actual goldmine without the imperialism!

Look, I'm just providing a service to people who need it, there's no foul play. Well, except for that one guy. But he had it coming, if you were there you'd know.

-Caroline Nacross, allegedly of Brass Ring; North Dakota, though the ID was confirmed fake later

Look, okay, just forget my name, forget my face, but tell my story. This was a fuckup of the highest order. The Brightside project, it almost got results. More the results of what that bastard scientist wanted than what we wanted, but those two were closer than we wanted to admit.

But when that kid broke in, and good on him for doing so, it wasn't just Brightside that got out. We tested on a lot of bodies y'see. I can't call 'em people anymore because... well, I couldn't live with myself if I did. They didn't even look much like people anymore after what he did to 'em.

We didn't sterilize 'em or burn leftovers, we just kept 'em for "future experimentation." I don't think most of the other folks there wanted that, but whatever the boss says goes.

I think he wanted this, if he couldn't pull it off. I think if he couldn't make god, then making the locusts and plagues was good enough, in an interim.

Or, maybe it's worse. He doesn't want a devil to kill us. He wants a Leviathan. A beast of his principles of rule, human minds supplanted E Pluribus Unum, and soon, those other... monsters? Gods? I am unsure of the difference anymore

That bastard has plans upon plans, you gotta watch out for. Because I don't wanna watch anymore. Goodbye.

-[ANONYMOUS] who promptly after finishing Budd Dwyer-ed himself in the interview room. It was hell to get the brains off the wall.

WE ARE HERE. WE ARE ALIVE. WE ARE THE DEAD. WE HATE YOU. WE LOVE YOU. WE ARE HERE.

DO NOT PANIC. IT IS NOT THE END OF THE WORLD. PANIC. IT IS THE BEGINNING OF A NEW NIGHTMARE. WE ARE HERE.

WE ARE WE. WE ARE ONE. WE ARE THE OTHERS. WE ARE REBORN. WE ARE STILLBORN. YOUR DEATH WILL NOT BE IN VEIN. YOUR DEATH WILL BE IN PAIN.

THE OLD WORLD IS DYING. THE NEW WORLD IS WAITING TO BE REBORN. NOW IS THE TIME OF GODS. NOW IS THE TIME OF MONSTERS.

-Unknown individual, who promptly melted into a steaming puddle in the office. I dried the sludge and attempted to smoke it. Bad trip. Do not recommend. Saved some for later.

[INTERVIEWS CONDUCTED BY: D.W. DEVLIN]

-----------------------------

So, the finale of Kaijune comes to a close! Song name was based on "Theme from Lumpy Gravy" from Frank Zappa, and boy was this guy a nightmare to make.

Like, he was just a blob of foam with tentacles, but then the tentacles became a nightmare to make, and then melting globs of hot glue without a hot glue gun to give him a blobbier texture, then all the epoxy putty and epoxy paste, all the painting, and lugging him around...

Like, he's part of why this didn't debut in August, he was a late addition, and one I slightly regret.

Tho, I will add as a bit of bonus trivia, the inspiration for The Prophet was actually someone I know in another server talking about how various fundie-types who call themselves "prophets" on Youtube have ended up pumping a ridiculous variety of conspiracy theories into his mom's head.

For an idea of how bonkers those are, one of them was about how the increased presence of mermaids and "sea people" in media was a sign of demonic influence because demons apparently live in the deep sea.

So, I got the idea of coming up with somebody who took that to the next level and used that to amass power in times of even greater crisis than our own. hence, that fucker.

Who I do have plans for next year's Kaijune about, yes siree...

Ability Trivia: Along with all the powers of being an amorphous blob (Albeit, they can only fully squeeze themself through holes his giant skull-like "core" can fit through") they have the demonstrated power to send psychic signals to not just people in a way that drives them mad, but even disrupts communications. So nobody can hear you call for help.

They also, as you've seen assimilate the consciousnesses of those they devour, and can make what passes as "plans" as a consensus of the maddened, pained minds within. And, along with being able to electrify their amorphous surface, they can also use their body as a low-level railgun with all the derbris they inevitably swallow in the course of their rampages

And, then of course there's the matter of the "separants"...

Bonus Trivia: Most kaiju hate him and attack him on sight. Not that he minds. They'll all come to him eventually. Or they won't. Either way doesn't matter, as long as there's a head at the top of the Leviathan...

...And, in that grand (exceedingly late) Kaijune tradition, this character and all related narrative elements are under a CC-BY 4.0 license, as long as I, Thomas F Johnson, am credited as their creator.

Have fun, and see you next year! 

[deadcactuswalking]

REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 13/04/2024 (J. Cole's Might Delete Later, David Guetta/OneRepublic)

Hozier’s “Take Me to Church” peaked at #2 for four weeks. The first week, “Uptown Funk!” blocked it, but for the most part, it was halted by Ellie Goulding’s “Love Me Like You Do”. This week, just under a decade later, Hozier can finally claim his UK #1 as “Too Sweet” lands its first week at the top, skipping straight up from #4 last week. I’m personally not complaining as it’s a great song, but I will be complaining because under it, we have J. Cole. Welcome back to REVIEWING THE CHARTS!

Rundown

As always, we start with our notable dropouts, those being songs exiting the UK Top 75 (which is what I cover!) after five weeks in the region or a peak in the top 40. This week, we bid farewell to: “exes” by Tate McRae, “I Remember Everything” by Zach Bryan featuring Kacey Musgraves, “vampire” by Olivia Rodrigo, “Flowers” by Miley Cyrus and some long-term bottom-feeders like “Someone You Loved” and “Everywhere” by Fleetwood Mac. Like much of everything else this week, it’s a bit of a mixed bag.

We only have one returning entry, but it’s pretty interesting and surprisingly high: Thanks to the specific surge of TikTok traction to a Summer Walker remix, “Hell n Back” by Bakar, which peaked at #20 just last year, is back for another run at #26, already nearing its peak position that I honestly expect it to surpass soon enough. As for the gains, we see healthy boosts for “We Ain’t Here for Long” by Nathan Dawe at #49, “Worth It.” by RAYE at #46, “Jump” by Tyla, Gunna and Skillibeng at #43, “if u think i’m pretty” by Artemas at #39, “Saturn” by SZA at #30, “Happier” by The Blessed Madonna and Clementine Douglas at #21, “Back on 74” by Jungle at #19 - really glad this is still at it - “Belong Together” by Mark Ambor at #14 and finally, of all hits, “Austin” by Dasha finds its place in the top 10 at #8. Maybe this is a fluke, or maybe Dasha is a pop star in the making. I guess time will tell.

As for our top five, we start with… Artemas, joy, and “i like the way you kiss me” at #5, then the usual suspects: “Lose Control” by Teddy Swims at #4, “TEXAS HOLD ‘EM” by Beyoncé back to down to #3, Bentley Boonemobile with “Beautiful Things” at #2 and of course, Hozier at the very top. Now for whatever debuted on the rest of this chart this week… trust me, it’s mostly not very good.

New Entries

#67 - “Cry” - Benson Boone

Produced by Malay

Bento Box’s debut album with a name stupider than the nicknames I give him on this show debuted surprisingly low at #16 - that’s lower than Feeder, man. And I like Feeder. Regardless, I did like those two singles, I have yet to hear the record, but I’m sure there’s some good on it, and I’m happy to say that this would be included in that. Now why is pretty simple, it starts with a melancholy ballad produced by Frank Ocean’s go-to, Malay, but that doesn’t last long as it’s scrapped for a more propelling pop rock chug. The lyrics go from woe-is-me to bitter and toxic bitching about his ex, in icky falsetto deliveries only accentuated by an ugly, distorted vocal chop that does not fit at all. There’s an obvious vocal glitch that was kept in and doesn’t sound intentional in the first verse, but it adds to the genuinely infuriating song full of straining and one-note riffing, as well as a second fake-out with him briefly trying to see her perspective. The song’s ugly, it doesn’t flow and it makes me hate the guy singing it, but that seems to be the intention, with which it completely succeeds. Three-for-three, Ben 10, keep it up. I wish you were comfortable with swearing though, it would hit a little better… I know, that’s rich coming from me.

#64 - “Good Luck, Babe!” - Chappell Roan

Produced by Dan Nigro

With Olivia Rodrigo’s producer and some sleeper traction for her debut album from last year, Missouri singer Chappell Roan seems primed for a big 2024 breakout, especially since she’s on tour with O-Rod. Her last album was a bit of a queer concept record and this seems to be following in similar footsteps, being about compulsory heterosexuality, feeling like you are conformed into heteronormative behaviours despite being queer. It details a secret relationship wherein love cannot be fully reciprocated due to that circumstance, and it’s treated tastefully with enough drama for most of the song for it to feel both worthwhile and not mundane, as well as not making some grander statement. The bridge irks me a tad, not allowing for the nuance of gay women marrying men and framing it in a way that seems more bitter and honestly self-serving to her narrative. Even if it’s from a different perspective, it seems a bit tasteless and awkward tonally with the rest of the song, especially given this is a classic synthpop track in the vein not of the retro pastiche or indie revival but standing damn near to Wham!’s “Last Christmas” and struggling to tell the difference kind of synthpop. That makes it slightly unique but in terms of the vocal melodies Ms. Roan lays on top of that sound, it fails to capture me all too much, and I’m also really struggling not to hear a mashup on the verses with “I Just Called to Say I Love You” by Stevie Wonder. The lyrics sharing soime similarities aren’t helping either. This is far from bad but both sonically and lyrically, it trips over, in a way that seems like it might be on purpose, and I do want to give this song credit for tackling an interesting, niche topic and having a morally grey depiction of it. That’s impressive for the pop charts, I just don’t really enjoy the final product. Sorry.

#59 - “Feel It” (From the Original Series Invincible) - d4vd

Produced by Gray Toomey, Noah Ehler and Sam Homaee

For some brief background, Invincible is an Amazon animated series based on the comic books starring Omni-Man, and the second part of its second season has just concluded, with the crew recruiting d4vd of… “Romantic Homicide” fame, because, of course, for a soundtrack single. Now for the song and okay, this is quite similar to the Benson Boone song from before. Firstly, it vaguely aligns itself with alternative R&B and indie pop in its groove, guitar tones and delivery and secondly, on a lyrical and vocal level, I’m pretty sure I’m also supposed to find d4vd a bit overwhelming and annoying, given how this girl thinks he’s crazy and he’s being inescapable to her. There are a key differences: A) this is not a rock song, it’s a synthpop haze with too much reverb, echo and overdubs - probably enough studio manufacturing to kill a small elephant. B) d4vd is neither funny nor really aggressive, he is simply being a nuisance towards the woman in the name of love, and has some creepy undertones regarding how she treats the woman in this story being uncomfortable with his advances, even if this relating to a fictional character in the series, it fails to translate beyond that. C) there is not much space left in this mix for any real emotional resonance, because he’s half-rapping and the song is filled to the brim with effects. It’s difficult to even focus on the narrative given the sheer amount of layers. Finally, D) this is a pick-up, not a rejection, so the annoyance feels like encroaching on territory rather than having any solid catharsis. All this is to say that the song just fails on all of its levels, but fails honestly. I can absolutely see someone liking this even having over-analysed it like I have, and its crime is not translating well to an audience it didn’t really intend to have, considering I’m not a d4vd fan and I’ve never seen this show. I can envision this getting pretty big and whilst I do not like the song one bit, it’s hard to complain about, really. It’s just refreshing, especially in a J. Cole week, to have a song that I don’t like for storied but largely impersonal and constructive reasons. To put it simply, I just don’t feel it.

#53 - “Crocodile Tearz” - J. Cole

Produced by T-Minus

I wrote a pretty extensive and scathing review of J. Cole’s latest mixtape, Might Delete Later. It’s #7 on the albums chart this week, and debuted three songs here this week. I am going to keep these entries brief as can be, because that review is there for you to read on my RateYourMusic 2024 listening log, the account’s exclusivelytopostown. Most of that log is in a scattered first-impressions style but that review is very thought-out, reflective and in-depth, so I’m quite proud of it. I’m tempted to format it and upload it separately as a review to this blog, though I don’t want to flood my page with such negativity. To cut it short, I think this mixtape is frankly embarrassing, as even moving away from stagnant and dire trap-adjacent production mostly headed by a clearly tired T-Minus, Cole is so unconvincing and insecure in his flexing that it becomes difficult to listen to, especially when he has all the technical lyrical skill and little personality to back up those flows, so they end up soggy and awkward. When he in any way attempts to be conscious, introspective or even commenting on his “place in the rap game”, he becomes downright insufferable and really just shows his ass rather than his pen. This song in particular has some of the dullest production Cole has ever rapped over though there are not many particularly corny lines here, other than how his dogs only shed tears in emojis and how he’s so much better than those girls on Instagram, right? Cole’s insistence on claiming himself superior to entire groups of people based on an intellect or higher spirituality he shows no proof of existing never gets old.

#38 - “7 Minute Drill” - J. Cole

Produced by T-Minus, Conductor Williams, Al Hug and Elyas

Okay, genuine question: how do I ethically tackle a song that has been rescinded by its artist, that days after release, has been disowned by the person who wrote and performed it, expressing live on stage that he regrets it and wishes it to be removed? Surely giving harsh criticism to a song that already makes him feel bad is just kicking a man when he’s down. Firstly, if you consider Cole’s position to be “down”, then you and me both are in the trenches and secondly, whilst I understand that the industry demands quick responses and can make the bureaucracy of releasing a track based on heated emotions quite frustrating, there is the option of just leaving it alone and not releasing anything, especially because “7 Minute Drill”, referring to the song process used to make it, not its runtime or genre, is framed more as a warning shot than a full-on diss. He didn’t even send the angry message before deleting it and walking it back with apologies. If anything, this song, like really the whole album, proves Cole’s insecurities about his self-instated “middleman” promo package and media representation. Cole just doesn’t have either the heart, or lack thereof, to make an actual diss track and also has nothing but good things to say about Kendrick - even in this diss track, he praises his musical output and fabricates outright lies about the albums’ reception to make it appear disrespectful. If you want any sonic criticism, the T-Minus beat is a practically unlistenable parody of “Like That” but Conductor Williams, as he always does, pulls a smooth piano jam in the back half that sadly cannot save the pathetic bars placed upon it. Next.

#37 - “I Don’t Wanna Wait” - David Guetta and OneRepublic

Produced by David Guetta, Brent Kutzle, T.I Jakke, Tyler Spry and Timofey Reznikov

Sigh… I quietly predicted this to myself. Once I’d seen EDM do-overs of “Gangsta’s Paradise”, “Better Off Alone” and “I’m Blue” hit the charts, a sinking feeling inside of me knew that O-Zone were not safe, and by God’s, Guetta has gone and done it. And he bought the hacks at OneRepublic with them, so no, let’s talk about that original song, because I think it’s genuinely great. Those synths glitch and buzz out more than you remember, having some pretty cool interplay with the deeper-voiced verses, and whilst yes, there is a nonsense hook, and the rest is in the band’s native Moldovan dialect of Romanian, you don’t need to know the language to find yourself humming the refrains in your head. The flip-phone beep after he says “beep”, the call-and-response “Alo! Salut!” and obviously both the “maiya-hee, maiya-hoo, maiya-ha” and “numa-numa-ey” choruses, they are so embedded into my brain, and that can’t just be by memetic coincidence, it’s a brilliantly written song and well executed. And obviously it was a hit - in the UK, their only hit, peaking at #3 in 2004 whilst Mario Winans’ “I Don’t Wanna Know”, also a classic, was #1. What’s most frustrating about this Guetta rendition is that “Dragostea din tei” was already milked dry for sampling, long before his 20-year anniversary last year. Most famously, it was sampled in a Newgrounds meme, but other than that, T.I. took it to #1 in the US with Rihanna on 2008’s “Live Your Life”, which was already a comical attempt at making it serious (consider it starting with T.I. shouting out the troops in Iraq), but you know what Tip and Rihanna DIDN’T do? Remove the nonsense lyrics - Rihanna does re-sing real lyrics in the nonsense melody, but they start and end the song with the original sample, there’s no hiding where it came from. They work because they’re nonsense, we do NOT need a Ryan Tedder rewrite! “Live Your Life” peaked at #2 here, but it was blocked by a single from The X Factor so it’s basically an honourable #1, I don’t like it much but it has a heart and charm that Guetta and Tedder could not successfully pull off even in their “prime”… which coincides pretty comfortably with when T.I. released that song. Have fun chasing the past, boys, maybe you’ll find your talent and creativity hidden back there.

#29 - “H.Y.B.” - J. Cole and Bas featuring Central Cee

Produced by DZL, T-Minus, Cedric Brown, AzizTheShake and FNZ

I quite like Bas. He doesn’t exactly a consistent brand of sound, instead shifting through a pretty eclectic array of pop-rap styles, though often maintaining both trap and Afrobeats influences, and therefore, his work tends to be a bit hit-or-miss when you consider the full-length projects. Regardless, he has genuine pop perfection on those albums - what ties his albums together is Bas, a lighthearted but experienced presence who is full of hooks and catchy flows, as well as often genuine heart that makes the variety of styles feel connected via that vocal throughline. This is his first top 40 hit in the UK, and it really bothers me that Cole do not push Bas further, as this could have easily been at least his second given he released a Jersey club-inspired single with AJ Tracey last year that could have absolutely smashed over here. It was one of my favourite songs of 2023, and still gets me really excited - if there’s anything Bas is great at, it’s just letting you loose and allowing for a dropping of the same pretence that has defined J. Cole’s every move. Cole puts Bas on his albums as a gesture but is seemingly unwilling to promote the man’s solo music. This may be because of how obvious it is that Bas, whilst maybe not as technically lyrical, has the pop edge over Cole, and could honestly be way bigger if given a chance to a mass audience or even bigger features like Cench over here, who is completely fine in his verse. This is just a sample-drill track wherein Cench does fine, Bas is cool but is only granted the hook - telling - and Cole embarrasses himself by reciting the alphabet without the letter L because he doesn’t take those. You got outcharted this week by two Benson Boone songs, Teddy Goddamn Swims and the song that dissed you in the first place still at #11. Please, stop lying to yourself, it’s not healthy.

Conclusion

Guess Best of the Week Boone strikes again with “Cry”. Jesus, I thought I was better than that. It’s even the only song I actually like out of our debuts, which is fantastic, so there won’t be an Honourable Mention. Instead, we can throw out a Dishonourable Mention for J. Cole’s “Crocodile Tearz”, whilst he ties for the worst. Both “7 Minute Drill” and David Guetta’s “I Don’t Wanna Wait” with OneRepublic feel like very cynical and regretful songs, made not for response but reaction and no, in art, those aren’t necessarily the same thing. Hopefully, we’ll have a more pleasant week on the horizon, there are pop girls by the dozen with Dua Lipa, Perrie of Little Mix, Sabrina Carpenter, Mimi Webb and perhaps most importantly, Future and Metro dropped the sequel. For now, thank you for reading, long live Cola Boyy, and I’ll see you next week!

[waspsinyouryard]

I’m curious how everyone’s year was so please tell me what you favourite ----- from this year was! Answer as many or as few as you want! (Feel free to send this to other people and change it if you want)

Favourite Movie/Show you watched: 

Favourite Album you listened to:

Favourite thing you learned: 

Favourite book/comic: 

Favourite project you completed: 

Best impulse purchase?

Funniest joke you heard?

Strangest building you went in?

New food you discovered?

Most memorable conversation?

Prettiest sunset?

Favourite new outfit?

What are you proud of this year?

Favourite Memory from this year: 

Anything you would change? 

Anything you’re looking forwards to in the new year?

~Gumi

I'm going to try and answer all of these but I can already tell that some of these are going to be difficult:

1. Favorite movie/show

I don't really watch movies out of my own volition and I'm like the one Tumblr user who doesn't watch TV shows (and my memory is bad, so I could also be forgetting something) so my options are very limited:

The FNAF movie (which was laughably terrible)

Stranger than Fiction (a 2006 movie that was just. not good. I didn't like it.)

Rio 2 (a kid sitting next to me for a substantial amount of time was watching it and I could hear the audio)

Out of those options I'd probably have to say the FNAF movie was my favorite because it was bad in a funny way and also recency bias.

2. Favorite Album

My music consumption is almost exclusively video game soundtracks and I haven't really found any games to love the soundtrack of recently anyways so

3. Favorite thing I've learned

I can't think of any one piece of knowledge that stands out as my favorite. I'm just happy to know things tbh

4. Favorite Book/Comic

I read quite a few books (mostly the Warriors series, near the beginning of the year) but my favorite probably still has to be Love and Limerence by Dorothy Tennov. I reread it this year so it counts.

5. Favorite project I completed

Probably this ridiculous 14k word Wings of Fire fanfiction where the world ends tbh. It's kinda very rough, but I had a blast making it.

6. Best impulse purchase

A greenish-blue Hawaiian shirt

7. Funniest joke

Unironically this

Leave the poor woman alone :(

8. Strangest building

Probably the church I took those photos in tbh. I get that it's not that strange overall but it was for me

9. Best new food

I can't think of any new food, but I did discover that French fries and (to an admittedly lesser degree) saltine crackers make surprisingly good additions to toppings and/or fillings.

10. Most memorable conversation

This one's memorable in a bad way.

Essentially, it was a conversation between myself and a friend about a Minecraft server we were on where said friend told me that I managed to piss off every single other member of the server. Of course I was a bit distraught about this, and I decided that I just wouldn't play on it anymore. Before that I was basically the most active member by far.

The reason I remember it so well is because I'm still so baffled about why what I did (kill the Ender Dragon on the first day of a new world (after rules regarding doing so were specifically abolished) and kill the Wither like a week later) enraged these people so much that they called for my friend to ban me (he didn't, btw).

11. Prettiest sunset

All of them. Unless I'm trying to go west and the sun is shining in my eyes.

12. Favorite new outfit

The Hawaiian shirt I mentioned previously.

13. Things I'm proud of

Here's a list, not in any sort of order:

Writing that fanfic I mentioned earlier

Figuring out Tumblr API stuff so I could improve @postsofbabel. And I guess it in general.

My progress on a new fanfic set in the Warriors world, where being sold to 1D is a major plot point.

Surviving, tbh

14. Favorite memory

uh

15. Anything I would change

I would change a lot about 2023, but I simply do not think I would have the ability enact a lot of these changes if I could go back through this year again.

16. Anything I'm looking forward to

World of Goo 2. Probably more that I can't think of at the moment but World of Goo is excellent

[sitpwgs]

Hi! I'm sorry you're still not feeling well. It seems like it really sucks I hope you were still able to have a good and fun weekend with your friend though! I hope the new medication helped as well but from your latest update, it seems like it didn't. Aww I really hope you feel better before your birthday and the holidays coming up. I've never had black forest cake I don't think..or is that the one with cherry filling in the middle? If it is, then I have and I think it's yummy too. I do love Oreo cake, vanilla, and just plain chocolate or double chocolate. But I have a lot of favorite desserts too..but it's mostly brownies and cookies. I like chocolate chip and double chocolate and ice cream but I don't love it when it's cold. I've never had tiramisu I don't think though.

I want need to be released too but mostly just cuz all of the girls was already released so I hope it is and it is like False God. I think cuz it sounds so different from any Taylor song to me. When I first heard it, I think it sounded more like a Selena Gomez song..maybe in the verses more than Taylor..but I do love how Taylor shows her vocals in the song and I do know other people love it a lot. The only thing about that is then it would be technically the last rerecording to be released and idk if it should end with that but I do see how it kinda works. Unless she puts out an eras rerecording doc or something as a thank you for the tour, then it would be the next best thing. I do still like to play it around Christmas sometimes. She also has a show on her birthday next year so that's exciting enough too.

Haha wow. I actually listen to something new like everyday so I could never get burnt out on new music haha. Basically my sister has a long drive everyday so we pick a new album to listen to everyday and kinda have a theme for each week based on genres. That's how I discover so much new music and we add a few songs to a big hours long playlist all year and play it near the end of the year haha and then we will pick our favorites. Obviously if it's an artist I really like, I play their albums for at least a week. I also play a lot of recommended radio so that's how I find new artists too. So what's your top artists and songs for Spotify wrapped since it came out? I think there's an equivalent with apple music if you use that. But I'm so excited to know and I will add anything you recommend to my list. I wasn't really surprised..obviously Taylor was my top artist lol but I feel like it also matters how long an album is and for top songs it's how much a certain song will play on your recommended radio and if you let it play. Oh I forgot about those but will listen eventually of course..along with the fruitcake EP soon.

As for books, I'll have to work on my list and I can tell you what I'll be reading more specifically later. Sorry it's just not something I'm focused on right now but I did find a few more books to add to my list recently so idk and I'm always looking for new recommendations too so I'll look at your post whenever its updated. Oh that's so cool and exciting. I've recently getting more educated on the publishing world which sounds exhausting so that's actually pretty cool. I honestly haven't read Hunger Games in a long time but that sounds like a pretty good plan if you get to it.

Oh I like her music but I'm not sure she would fit as Eurydice..cuz her voice is too soft almost? Thanks for the link! I will go thru it later and give my full opinion. Oh I mentioned a doc about the rerecordings earlier but would absolutely love this too! Beyonce had a little bit of this in her movie which I thought was really cool and made it different than eras. She would talk for a few minutes about something that would kinda lead into the next song so the transitions were pretty smooth and didn't distract from the show. Also it's always very cool to see her talking and share stuff from her personal life which we don't get to see as much. I'm pretty sure she didn't cut anything either which was impressive! I couldn't help comparing it to Eras but more so in a fun way cuz I love both of them and you can really see how much artistry and care they put in the work and that's a really cool thing to see. Taylor also supported Beyonce at her premiere just like how Beyonce did for her and I loved her dress so much..it was really on theme haha. I also paid attention to the sets and it's something I have to pay more attention to in the eras movie again. Another cool thing Beyonce's movie did was show all the different outfits she would wear for a certain song and I kinda wish eras movie did that now lol. Also Beyonce showed all her special guest performances in her movie too. It was kinda cool cuz it was almost set up in eras too but in a different way I guess cuz it wasn't by era..but she did start from the beginning of her career and mixed in a few songs. Also her opening songs started out slower in the show but I think that's pretty typical of Beyonce..like she gets more energetic as the show goes on. She also did not sing a song from every album..there was nothing from Lemonade but that's also a personal album for her or maybe didn't fit this show. But she sang every song from Renaissance and somehow made them work in the order of the album...and she even included the performance of songs she only sang at a few shows. I think seeing it was fun too cuz I didn't know the full show as well as eras even if I saw a few clips online and having it professionally recorded helps a lot too. Even if you don't love her music, it's definitely worth a watch at some point.

I do think it was cool of her to sing it for the end of the year and cuz there's a bit of a break on tour and I agree with how it makes her feel. I just think the chorus could be better cuz she repeats the same lyrics or used thing more than once and I don't love the melody but some people love it. Its just there to me and some songs are just like that I guess. I feel similarly about Illicit Affairs but I like it on tour and maybe even Off the top of my head, the first two opening nights had the best songs! Mirrorball and Tim McGraw and State of Grace and This is me trying but i would probably pick night two. Another one would be the eras movie pick or I Can See You and I think Maroon? Also Getaway Car and Maroon! I got pretty lucky with Right where you Left Me and Castles Crumbling too!!! I liked yours too! What about you?

Aside from seeing the Renaissance movie, I also got a haircut after a long time which was nice. I will probably also be busy for the next few weeks just letting you know. The end of the year is always stressful to me so I'm sorry if I don't reply as much. I hope your weekend with your friend was still fun! Happy Monday and I hope you have a great week!!! 🩷

hi friend!! it was one of the best weekends ever, i think — just something that i very much needed + very good for my soul, but i am very tired and just quite sad now! long distance friendships are so so hard :( i've mostly been feeling a bit better aside from my voice which just does not want to return to me for some reason!! but that's okay — the good news, is that it gives me an excuse to not be super super social at the work party on wednesday (which i'm lowkey dreading haha).

and yes! black forest cake is the one with cherry in the middle — i don't really like cherry, but i do loveeee black forest cake for some reason! i am not a huge fan of super sweet sweets (and often, brownies are too sweet for my taste) but one of my friends has been talking to me about brownies all week and now i really really want one. i think i'm going to try to get one on wednesday when i go to my work party as a pre-party treat, actually! tiramisu is delicious — if you like coffee (i don't know if you do, actually — i don't think we've talked about coffee! do you like coffee? what's your coffee order?) which i do!

i would love love love more BTS for eras and the rerecordings! i just think all of that is so interesting, i want to know about the costumes + the thought behind the dive, the choreography, why the piano is painted with those flowers, why debut was cut from the setlist :(, whose idea it was for those very specific visuals, etc. i just want to know everything!

there is an apple music equivalent — it's called apple replay! my top 5 artists were: the 1975, taylor, holly humberstone, maisie, and sabrina carpenter — but replay also gives you your top 15, so here are the rest of them: inhaler, gracie abrams, the japanese house, noah kahan, beabadoobee, del water gap, olivia rodrigo, lizzy mcalpine, haim and charli xcx! and my most listened to songs are: oh caroline, happiness, if you're too shy (let me know), lost the breakup, body better, me & you together song, you're just a boy (and i'm kinda the man), the good witch, about you, i'm in love with you, pressure, menswear, scarlett, heart out and the sound! which is so funny because i don't even remember listening to a good half of these that much (probably in the first half of the year). my most listened to albums were: the good witch, emails i can't send fwd, notes on a conditional form, the good witch (deluxe), speak now (taylor's version), paint my bedroom black, reputation, barbie the album, the 1975 (deluxe), guts, cuts & bruises, i like it when you sleep, for you are so beautiful yet so unaware of it, good riddance, in the end it always does and midnights (3 am edition)!

and you don't need to apologize — just know i'm excited for your favorites when you have them! i will try to figure out my list as well! and ahhh, the renaissance film sounds so so good! i'm excited to watch it when i get a chance to 🤍

and yeah, i have a really hard time picturing her as eurydice! but i think she'd be a great girl in once, if she ever did that!

tied together with a smile was my favoriteeeee. it just means so much to me as a song, and i'm so so glad i got to hear it! honestly i really lucked out with my songs — and i think everyone that i went with was really happy (my friend bailey loves ttwas too, my friend mansi got a reputation song night 1 — this is why we can't have nice things, etc.)! just very special! very lovely evening. i'd loveeee to hear mirrorball, or anything debut though. i'm really just manifesting something from debut for my mom :")

and no worries about replying either!! 🤍 take your time, i know you're busy + things are goin on! happy monday + hope you have a good rest of the year friend!!

[ninthwav]

multi-parter epica thing. thought about it while i was making my albums of the year list.

so epica was like, a top-tier symphonic metal band in the 00s. you had nightwish starting to tarnish (then really going whole hog), kamelot entering their fan favorites era, and epica was really chewing the fuck out of the scenery. 2007’s the divine conspiracy is, god, top 2 symphonic metal albums of all time for me.

and then the 2010s hit??

so the thing about epica is that their sound is relatively stable for the genre. there are a couple of reasons for this: the simplest is that they don’t have the insane level of vocalist turnover that a lot of other symphonic metal bands have (hello nightwish, xandria, sirenia), so they never had to scramble to accomodate a new vocalist. they obviously have evolved in both sound and concept over time, but like… from album to album, you’re not going to get something like, i don’t know. like century child or neverworld’s end. 2012’s requiem for the indifferent (apposite. i am indifferent to this album) is, i think, the big obvious sea change in epica’s catalogue: thematically, they depart from their typical Organized Religion Bad Real Bad But Because We’re White Lib Europeans We’ve Got A Lot To Say About Islam In Particular (which does produce some mindbendingly awesome music, regrettably, e.g. the whole divine conspiracy). their sound gets more… ambitious, maybe, on this album? any symphonic metal worth its salt is ambitious (i was going to say it all is, by nature, then i remembered serenity and apocalyptica and decided against that). this is their first album with keyboard solos, which are one of my least favorite features of epica’s 10s catalogue— they just never really do anything for me, especially as they coincide with epica’s growing capacity to do these big ol’ symphonic numbers: you get a lot of songs that seem like the result of an embarrassment of musical riches.

i don’t really have much to say about this album. it literally made next to no impact on me. i’m listening to it rn and i remember it (at least, i’m in the front half now and i remember that), but it has no draw on me. the drum mixing feels super inconsistent— i think it’s because i liked it a lot on omega alive (where it is quite loud and prominent but also like, crisp and well-placed) that i’m hearing this and wondering why it sounds like the drums are all over the place. like, ok, near the end of monopoly on truth you get this really standout belted bit from simone (carry me slowly in the depths of your life!!!) where the already quite aggressive drums nearly drown her out as the instrumental gets pared back. i know a lot of the Simone Simons Bad Vocalist slander comes from live performances, but i do wonder how much of it begins with production choices like this, where specifically powerful vocal moments get drowned out or brought down against a backdrop choral arrangement. and there are some cool vocal moments! simone is really moving out of the affected classical/operatic style she had in the 00s, which i know is controversial among purported epica fans, but i think her voice sounds dope. there’s a cool moment on storm the sorrow (i think? i don’t care) where they slap a vocal distortion effect on her (which feels very kamelot somehow, like very futuristic dystopian yk) that sounds kind of dope in the moment (though weird in context). title track requiem for the indifferent sees a return to the orientalist aesthetics that were common in the genre in the 00s (think early xandria, therion), and it blunders a bit on the thin line between cool and goofy. it would sound cooler if the song didn’t kind of suck— i’m listening to it now, and the first verse is like… peak mark jansen lyricism, with literally zero prosody. this album has a LOT of simone’s lyricism which is frankly a blessing— see below:

SOMEONE knows about rhyme and metaphor! like i cannot tell you how god damn stupid “how can we justify the act / we’ve tried to look around and search for ways to (distortion amps up) shift the blame” sounds on an album where you get simone writing SooOOOO well for her own voice. but like i’m a simone simons lyrical miracle truther.

anyway like, unmemorable 3/5 album, i don’t have the musical vocabulary or the space to talk about what else i don’t like about it. mostly it’s unobjectionable if you’re not— as i currently am— sitting here with your nice headphones on having a good think about how it’s put together.

HOWEVER! they follow this up with the quantum enigma (2014) which RULES. like, the guitars get kind of swampy on requiem for the indifferent (i blame the drums in a lot of cases but i’m a babybrain music listener. it’s probably its own thing), but here they fucken sizzle. the concept also— like, okay, you can make good music with a total mismatch of concept and sound. i’m sure of it. not everyone seems to think that big cosmic things need big cosmic music, judging by the way people talk about like the mountain goats or whatever. taste! but the thing is, CONSISTENTLY, epica’s albums that are less esoteric are worse. like in the most.. my god. okay look at this

we start with design your universe because it’s the start of their album art era where they didn’t just go HERE WE’VE GOT A HOT GIRL. but literally you can see in the design that 2 + 4 in this lineup are going to suck. it’s INCREDIBLE! why does no one at nuclear blast see this!

note to self— relisten to intro to quantum enigma on something else and fuck with the eq. there’s a weird buzz that sounds like it might be… horn? yikes.

anyway like, the quantum enigma is way more rip-roaring cool out of the gate. it still features very unfortunate lyrics from mark jansen, but what else is new. here. L-R mark, rob, simone

fuckin ONE OF YEZ knows how to write words for a voice! (it’s simone. it’s always simone. rob’s aren’t bad— in all conscience is my favorite epica song of all time— but like, simone’s over here toeing the line of impressionistic senselessness with bonkers flair).

i need to go give this album a relisten so i’m dropping this here but the album fucking rips. i think the keyboards have particular rizz here: they lead in (with strings, which technically are more prominent but don’t feel like it) on the essence of silence, and then have this kind of gorgeous toeing-the-edge-of-cacophony effect as they get layered into the instrumental around the midway mark. a lot of the success of this song is how they toe the edge of shrill, which i mean as respectfully as is possible— like a lot of really soaring high notes from both simone and the backing vocals (i THINK marcela bovio is featured heavily here, as well as simone herself doing double duty— but i’d have to check). the whole album’s got a solid balance of symphonic elements and just really tasty metal. the latter half of victims of contingency has this incredible effect of like, trading verses between guitar solos and symphonic strings, cools off a bit (with a delicious piano flourish) to let simone have a second, then just barrels to the end. it’s got MOMENTUM! it has momentum they didn’t have again until omega! i’m gonna go jam. the album fucks. and then after it they broke my grinchy little heart with the holographic principle, and then patched it up and nursed me back to health with omega, and then. man idk. fucked my brains out or rebirthed me or something on omega alive. bye

[swiftiephobe]

Hello there !!

Sorry I disappeared during the weekend, I wasn't feeling very good and I couldn't come up with anything interesting to ask you but I'm here now !!!

Seafood sounds interesting !!! My culture is not very big on seafood so it's always been interesting to me how people prepare fish etc.

To be honest, I probably listen to the same Christmas songs as you as well. I really Christmases when you were mine by Taylor and Shake up Christmas by Train.

I really enjoy this week leading up to Christmas, it's even more festive than Christmas day dare I say !!! People are happier, some are discussing what gifts they got for their loved ones, others are panicking because they still got shopping to do and everywhere is crowded, many things are already sold out, everything is a mess but a glittery mess.

I wanted to ask you about your favourite media !!! What is your favourite show ? Movie ? Song ? Album ? Artist ? Are you into musicals ? Any books that left a lingering feeling ? Tell me everything !!!

As always please feel free to ask me whatever you want !!!

Lots of love,

Secret Santa 🎅

hiii!! that's totally okay, i hope you're feeling better now!

and wow that surprises me that your culture isn't big on seafood! i suppose because australia is surrounded by water and most people live near the coast, it's not surprising that we eat quite a lot of seafood :') there's a lot of really nice seafood - not even just fish but also prawns, mussels, lobster!! what kinds of foods does your culture eat the most?? i love experiencing new kinds of foods and cuisines!

i actually don't listen much to taylor's older christmas music, but i should! and i don't think i've heard that train song but i'll have to check it out! thanks! and i absolutely agree with you, the week leading up to christmas is always so exciting!

ooh, i absolutely love music! i have a lot of different artists and albums i love, some off the top of my head that i've been really enjoying lately (aside from taylor) are lana del rey, vera blue, phoebe bridgers, itzy, alt-j, and sza's latest album (i haven't checked out her previous stuff yet though!) i mostly like pop and pop-adjacent genres but i always love discovering new artists! i'm not super big on musicals, i enjoy them when i go to see them but i don't go see them very often! i do really love reading, my favourite genre is fantasy, but i'm super out of it at the moment, which really sucks because i have so many books i want to read but i'm just not into it right now! i would say my favourite media aside from music (and books when i'm in the mood for them!) are video games haha, i feel like a good story-driven game can be the best way to experience a story and fictional world!

thank you for stopping by again, i hope you stay well for this final week leading up to christmas!!

[wordstitta]

Hanoi rocks christmas

If you have not bought it yet, you need to get it. DR of 11 and above and beyond that it is sounds great tonally. Hanoi Rocks Dead By Christmas Some Cover Wear, Ring Wear On The Back Cover, Light Hairlines On Discs. Great news if it makes new people discover this great, great underrated band.Ĭlick to expand.The remastering IMO is far from horrendous. I already have the original vinyl, the Epic Legacy remaster (which isn't bad) and the 2004 24-bit remaster (which is LOUD but has a few of the bonus tracks of this new set). The band broke up in 1985 after their drummer Nicholas 'Razzle' Dingley died in a car accident a year earlier. I haven't decided yet if the BBC tracks are a reason good enough for me to buy it once again. Hanoi Rocks was a Finnish glam rock band formed in 1979, whose most successful period came in the early 1980s. The record should show no obvious signs of wear. Media Condition: Media: Near Mint (NM or M-) A nearly perfect record. While the remastering is probably going to be horrendous, classic Rock Candy -style, that's great news for fans who don't have the B-Sides. Hanoi Rocks - Dead By Christmas (2xLP, Comp) Label: Raw Power Cat: RAW LP016. The Hanoi Rocks as a band were never too hyped or that successful commercially and were vaulted into a music world in the early eighties that was changing fast with the advent of. Released in 1986 on Raw Power (catalog no. Boulevard Of Broken Dreams (BBC Friday Rock Show Session) Dead by Christmas, a Compilation of songs by Hanoi Rocks. Guitarist Andy McCoy and vocalist Mike Monroe reformed the band in the 21st Century. Don’t You Ever Leave Me (BBC Friday Rock Show Session)ġ1. After Razzles death, Hanoi Rocks fell apart. Underwater World (BBC Friday Rock Show Session)ġ0. I Can’t Get It (BBC Friday Rock Show Session)ĩ. Although it is not the public holiday of Vietnam, you still can see the air of Christmas covering the big cities of Vietnam including Hanoi and Ho Chi Minh City. Magic Carpet Ride (Japan Single B-Side)Ĩ. Friday is the 13th to 24th, Its not so long to go. But where to go Here are Chào’s top pics for a very merry festive season. Finnish glam-punk legends HANOI ROCKS have their story told in a new hardcover book. Hanoi Rocks - Two Steps From The Move US Epic cassette 1984 GLAM. Whether you want to take in a play, see a concert, shop til you drop or simply get smashed on mulled wine, the capital seemingly has something for everyoneevents yule love. Hanoi Rocks - Dead By Christmas - Cassette Tape - Rare VG Cond 1986 Castle. Gas Lipstick) in 2015.Bumping this thread because their album Two Steps From The Move has been re-released by Rock Candy Records as a 2-Disc set with bonus tracks:Ħ. Dead By Christmas (Hanoi Rocks cover) (Bonus Track) THE PIASS. With Christmas soon upon us, Hanoi is simply awash with events imbued with festive spirit. G Ill be dead by christmas now anyway Am Em F tell me will you remember me that. The disc will mark the group's first release with drummer Jukka "Kosmo" Kröger (formerly of HERRA YLPPÖ & IHMISET),who replaced Mika Kristian Karppinen (a.k.a. Hanoi Rocks - Dead by X-Mas - Intro Verse 1 Chorus Verse 2 Chorus. HIM is currently working on its long-awaited follow-up to 2013's "Tears On Tape" album for a tentative 2017 release. The song was recorded by Sammy Aaltonen at Eastsound Studios and features the following musicians:įormed in Helsinki in 1979, HANOI ROCKS's style was a big influence on a number of better-known bands such as GUNS N' ROSES, POISON, SKID ROW and ALICE IN CHAINS.Īlthough HANOI ROCKS reunited for a second eight-year run in 2001, the band's former singer Michael Monroe recently said another reunion is out of the question, explaining that HANOI "ran its course and stopped having a good time." "Xmas Song" will be released in Finland on December 7 via Ainoa Productions Oy. The official Pete Veijalainen-directed video for the track can now be seen below. Make a bold statement with our Hanoi Rocks T-Shirts, or choose from our wide variety of expressive graphic tees for any season, interest or occasion. There’s even a Hanoi Rocks Christmas card from 1983 pinned to a CD rack, featuring the band as such heavily hairsprayed Santas that you wouldn’t want them near your fireplace. According to Soundi, HIM frontman Ville Valo makes a guest appearance on "Xmas Song", the new Christmas single from former HANOI ROCKS guitarist Andy McCoy. Between the Black Sabbath, Misfits and The Who flags decorating the vinyl racks, and beside displays dedicated to The Renegades and New York Dolls, Hanoi posters abound.

[erodasfishtacos]

Adjustments

When Y/N is getting tired of staying at home with the baby while Harry tours.

word count: 5k

contains: sexual content, language, a dash of angst

It was still early but Harry didn’t mind. When he was on tour he craved sleep like no other. To be in his bed, spooned around his love, and no alarm set.

However, the deep desire for sleep is just a faraway thought now because he’d rather be sleep deprived and wake up to his curly-haired baby any given day.

He looks to you. Mouth slightly open, face stress-free, and peaceful. Harry hated coming home from tour to see the bags of exhaustion under your eyes from taking care of the baby all by yourself.

He constantly had to swallow back guilt. He tried to do everything to make it up when he was home.

Harry didn’t find touring as exciting and fun as he use to. He sometimes counts down the tour dates until he’s home.

Sometime he can’t wait for the concert to wrap up so he can sneak in a quick FaceTime before you lot head off to bed.

Sasha was two, her birthday near days away, and Y/N had been running around like a mad-woman trying to make sure her party would be perfect.

Y\N sometimes held herself to the exceptions of other celebrities wives. Ballon arches, custom cookies, and beautiful decorations.

However, unlike other celebrities, you did this all yourself. No event planner, nobody except Anne and Gemma.

Harry wants you to sleep as much as possible and allow you the luxury he gets on tour. Sleeping in until noon sometimes in the empty, cold hotel room with nothing else to do.

He can hear Sasha babbling incessantly from her little bed. The little yellow railings preventing her from falling out or escaping.

Harry heaves himself off the bed, tugging on some sweatpants that had been thrown off hurriedly when you’d told him you’d been wet for him since he walked in the door last night.

“Hi, hi little love,” Harry murmurs as he opens the door to her bedroom. The yellow flowers hand-painted from the wall setting the theme for the room.

Sasha was a good baby and an ever better toddler. However, almost as a little teenager, she sure did have her mood swings. They weren’t quite out of the terrible twos stage yet.

She wanted her mom as she stood there.

“No, mummy,” Sasha whines, tugging on Harry’s cross necklace with force after he scooped her up.

“Hey, we don’t do that. Remember we treat people with kindness.”

After a promise of chocolate chips in her pancakes, she agrees to help Harry cook you breakfast. 

It was messy and his bare chest was covered in flour. Not quite sure how the little girl had gotten it into her curls but they were managing.

Harry loved watching Sasha play with the cooking utensil. Smacking whisk around, looking quizzically at a spatula. 

It made Harry want to buy her a little play kitchen. He was surprised they didn’t already have one. He thinks they might have on in their New York City apartment that they haven’t traveled to recently.

He makes a point while Sasha is chewing at the pancakes to search to find one. He finds a same-day pickup at a local toy store and orders it.

That’s one thing he loved about making so much money. He could spoil you and the baby, his family with everything and anything they want or need.

Y/N always struggled with accepting gifts from Harry but as they years went on and they got married and combined bank accounts. (well she brought a hefty three thousand to the marriage, he graciously gave her full-access to his money). 

A few weeks after your wedding, when you went to an ATM to get twenty pounds out for a cash-only restaurant and when the receipt said you two had six-hundred thousand and some change in just one of your CHECKING account - well you nearly almost fainted.

You had been worried about the three pound service fee before seeing that.

Harry could sometimes get ahead of himself. He’s had disposable money since he was sixteen. Y/N would sometimes hum, asking if he really needs a fifteen-thousand dollar wool Gucci coat.

Y/N would make it a point that she doesn’t want Sasha to grow to be materialistic and spoiled. So Harry was scolded every once in a while when he gave into Sasha’s puppy dog eyes.

Maybe not the best decision but he planned to set it up when you were out for lunch this afternoon with a friend. Hopefully, you wouldn’t notice? If he strategically put it in the playroom.

“Mmm, what’s all this?” You murmur, tying your silk robe at the front. Just enough cleavage showing that Harry feels a twitch in his joggers. Sue him, basically everything his wife did turned him on.

“Pancakes, mummy!” Sasha giggles, syrup coating her cheeks and fingers. “Kissy?” Her dad had taught her that.

“Yes baby,” you agree, leaning in to press a kiss to her soft curls, avoiding her sticky mess. 

“Kissy?” 

You look up to your pouting husband with identical absurdly wild curls from bed. 

“Spoiled, you lot,” you tell him before padding over to him and pressing a soft kiss to his lips.

Forever the horny teenager, his large hands finds your bum and pull you closer - deepening the kiss.

“Miss you s’much on tour, all I think about,” he whispers into your mouth. “Your tits, your cun-“

“Harry!” You laugh, smacking at his chest, “Can’t talk like that in front of the baby!”

“She didn’t hear,” he grumbles, giving your arse one last squeeze, “Tonight.”

“Tonight,” you agree back, ignoring the pinch of arousal. 

—-

Sasha was putting up a fight when she realized that you were leaving without her. Grabbing at your leg as you tugged on a Gucci sneaker.

“I’ll be back soon, Sash,” you assure her but to no avail.

Her cheeks ruddy red and splotched. Tears staining them as she wails dramatically at the top of her little lungs. 

“I don’t know if I should go,” You sigh as Harry wrestles her tiny body off of you so you don’t trip.

“No baby, you need a break. She can’t hold you hostage,” Harry laughs as Sasha wriggles a little in his arms.

“Call me if you need me to come home.”

“I’ll be fine, now go, have a mimosa for me,” Harry smiles down at his daughter who is staring at you like you’ve just killed her beloved pet.

You can’t help but giggle at the glare, “so scary, missy. I’ll see you soon, I love you.”

Sasha buries her nose into Harry’s neck. Her sobs more sad than angry at this point. Which makes your heartbreak a little.

—-

Sasha was getting impatient with her father. As he attempted to figure out how to screw on the oven door to the overcomplicated design.

She occasionally ran off with a piece he needed so it took much longer than he’d thought. But this thing was sophisticated, you pour water into a little tub and it runs through the faucet like a real sink.

Sasha gave her father a wide smile when he had finally told her it was all done. He helped fill the little shopping cart with plastic fruit and veggies.

She was babbling to herself happily, occasionally making sure her dad was still in the room with her.

Harry had grabbed his journal off the kitchen table and was scribbling down mismatched lyrics about how much love he was filled with.

His last two albums were nearly just songs about you. The next one was definitely going to include tracks about his baby.

When he hears the alarm sound and get shut off, he knows your home and he feels a little twinge of anxiety in his stomach.

Distraction? That should work right?

“Hi baby,” Harry greets, planting a kiss on your lips before squatting to untie your sneakers for you.

“Well hello there!” You look around surprised to not see your daughter toddling to you as well. “Is bug sleeping?”

Harry shakes his head and rubs the back of his neck, “Um, no. Just playing in the playroom right now.”

“Was she good?” You asks, noticing he’s changed clothes. He loved to laze around in joggers if he could. “Did you go out?”

“Just for coffee,” he covers, technically - he did grab a coffee for himself at a drive-thru. “How was lunch?”

“Good, mimosas were shit so I only had one. Missed you guys too much. So glad your home,” you sigh into his chest, basking in his tight arms around you.

“Only 73 more concerts to go,” Harry replies.

He can feel your shoulders tense at his lame attempt of a joke. It wasn’t funny to you, not in the slightest. 

“Just 73, huh?” You shoot back, untangling yourself from his grip. “Just another eight months away from your wife and baby.”

“Love...” Harry begins, swallowing hard. He was just as emotional as you when it came to it. 

You shake your head, swiping at the stray tear, “Just forget it,” you huff before trekking off to see your daughter.

Harry is cautiously trailing behind you with a bowling ball of nerves in his belly. 

When you walk into the playroom and see the new kitchen set - you stand nearly frozen in the doorway.

“Mummy! Mumma look at what daddy got me!” She chirps, standing to come to you. You easily lift her up and accept the plastic apple she hands to you proudly. 

You feel a tightness in your throat, “it’s so nice, baby.”

“Nice,” she repeats, “come play, mumma.”

“I just got home, give me a few minutes and I’ll be back in,” you promise with a kiss before placing her back down.

She seems satisfied with your answer and scurries back to where she had placed her babydoll on the countertop - feeding it.

“Can we please talk in the kitchen?” You asks, trying your best to keep your voice level in front of your daughter.

Harry dejectedly nods and follows you into the kitchen, dragging his boot-clad feet a little. 

“Look, I know your mad, lovie. But I just got the idea and didn’t think too much about it. Know y’don’t want to spoil her but-“

“Do you not listen?” You ask harshly.

He looks at you dumbfounded. Unsure of the question. It sounded like it was a trick question.

“You’re unbelievable!” You whisper-shout so Sasha doesn’t hear.

Harry feels himself getting defensive, “You’re tha’ mad about a bloody toy?  I’m her father allowed to buy her things too!”

“No, Harry. It’s not about that. It seems like your so busy with your job that you just tune me out on our calls.”

Harry’s brow furrows. That wasn’t true in the slightest. It was the highlight of his day to hear your voice and how it went at home.

“That’s bullshit and you know it!” Harry snaps, his voice a little louder. 

“Go into the storage room off the side of the garage.”

He gives you a confused look but obliges, after trailing through your maze of a house. He reaches the large extra room.

When he opens the door, his heart sinks. He immediately knows why you’re so upset with him.

A beautiful, hand-painted kitchen set is sat with a large pink bow in the room. The hutch saying in cursive, “Sasha’s Kitchen.”

It was her favorite colors - blue and yellow- with painted images of all her favorite characters like Peppa Pig and Blue from Blue’s Clues.

He remembers how excited you were on the phone that night - when you revealed her third birthday present and how perfect the artist had made it.

Harry had been listening -truthfully- but he was also nearly asleep after two encores of Kiwi onstage and a meet and greet backstage.

He felt like shit now. Disappointed in himself for ruining this surprise he knows you were looking forward to giving her in a mere few days.

But the excitement of another kitchen set surely would be lackluster now. 

“Baby, m’so sorry,” Harry says quietly, with guilt bubbling in his throat. “I was listening. I just...I forgot.”

“Nothing we can do about it now it,” you bite out. Disappointed at the ruin surprised making you prickle with anger towards your forgetful husband.

Harry begins to apologize once again but you don’t let him, “I need to put her down for a nap.”

— 

You drift off as well in your bed- taking advantage of Sasha being asleep in the next room over.

Harry doesn’t quite know how to fix this situation. He’s much too embarrassed to call his mum or sister who would just give him another earful.

He felt like being on tour has been mucking everything up. He loved his job, most days. But days like today - he wishes to never see a recording studio or microphone again.

Harry’s pondering all this when he hears a cry from the baby’s room. 

Sasha is stood, bleary-eyes with a sad frown as her father enters. 

“Sweet pea, what’s the sad face for?” He hums as he tucks her into the curve of his slim hip. Bringing her down onto the main level so you aren’t awoken.

“Daddy, kitchen?” She sniffles, pointing towards her playroom.

He shakes his head. Deciding the least he can do is bathe her so you wouldn’t need to later. She still had remnants of fruit pouch in her cheeks.

“No, darling. S’bath time. Then you can play,” he boots her nose. Snatching some clean baby clothes from where they’re folded and waited to be put away on the coffee table.

“No no no,” she whimpers angrily, shaking her head and smacking her arm against her father’s tattooed chest.

“Sasha Anne, no hitting, absolutely not,” Harry uses his firm father’s voice that he didn’t have to pull out very often.

“No bath, daddy, no!” She wails with all the dramatics of an A-List actor. 

“Hey, mumma’s sleeping. We cannot yell,” her father hushes her as he trails into the bathroom.

“Mean daddy!” She exclaims as he wrestles her into the tub. Splashing the water and wriggling away everytime he tries to cup water over her head to rid her of the shampoo.

“I know, I know, so mean,” he acknowledges sympathetically. A headache arising in the front of his skull from his baby’s high pitch noises and shouts.

After another fight into clothes, she’s still not happy when she’s sat in front of her kitchen. She throws the plastic toys around and whining anytime Harry moves an inch.

He’s feeling a little overwhelmed if he’s honest. With his worry about your precious argument and the unusual tactics of your toddler - he was stressed out. 

“Binky,” Sasha looks expectantly at her father.

Oh, good idea. She loves that.

Harry can’t find any lying around like usual so he digs through the drawers around the living room until he finds one.

After cleaning it off, he hands it to her and she pops it in her mouth happily. Her attention now direction back towards her new toy.

He let out a sigh of relief. He wasn’t quite sure how you did this alone so much of the time.

—

 When you finally wake from a fitful nap, you hear noise from the playroom. You’re still extremely frustrated with your husband but it’s less intense. Until...

Until you walk in and Sasha turns around, smiling around a binky you surely thought you’d thrown away.

Sasha was getting too old for a pacifier - even though she was just using it when she was really upset or at night.

You’d been binky-free for three weeks. And all the crying and tears from your daughter where now meaningless.

“Where did she get that pacifier?” You grit out.

You had told him multiple times you were weaning her off of it.

“She was fussy. I gave it to her, tha’ alright?” He asks cluelessly.

“Harry! I’ve told you so so many times that I’d been weaning her off of it. She just stopped crying about it a week ago!”

“I told you about this - just like the kitchen. God, you get so goddamn wrapped up in your career that you forget important things like this!”

“Baby...” Harry whimpers, hands up in surrender. “I keep, I keep messing up. I’m - I don’t know where my mind is.”

“I’ll tell you were your mind is, Harry. In the countries your traveling to, the concerts your performing at. You promised me...you fucking promised when we started trying for a baby this stuff wouldn’t happen!!”

Harry’s face crumples, “yo-you’re my everything, lovie. You and bug. None of this means anything without you. I’ll quit music, never write another lyric or sing another note if that’s what you want from me.”

He meant that fully heartedly too.

When he wrote If I Could Fly and write the lyrics, “I’ll give up everything, just ask me to.”

The fans, the producers, you - don’t truly know how much he was being truthful in the lyrics.

“I would never ask you to do that. I want you to do what you love but I want you to follow through for your family!”

At your raised tons, Sasha begins to whine, looking with wide, concerned eyes.

“Mummy?”

With that, you scoop her up. “M’going to your mums. I’ll be back later.”

Harry watches anxiously as you pack Sasha’s bag. He feels useless as he hands your her fruit pouches and crackers from the pantry.

As you snatch the car keys from the entry tables, Harry asks in a near whisper, “What’s going on? I’m so lost.”

“I’m lost too. I jus-just can’t keep doing this. It’s too hard for you to be away from us like this. I feel like a single mom sometimes.”

With that, you’re out the door and on your way to your mother-in-laws. 

For the first time ever, Harry had a fleeting thought that you’re going to divorce him. He knows it’s not just about the toy and the pacifier.

He hasn’t been home enough. As much as he tries, the FaceTimes don’t make the distance and time apart any easier. 

You have all the responsibility of this little human and your heart twinges on days you’re missing you husband and you constantly at met with his little replica.

Harry feels like he’s going to have a panic attack. He’s only had a handful in his lifetime but this one was intense.

He grabs his phone and dials the number to his best friend. He really needed a shoulder to cry on right now.

“Hey mate! What’s good, big boy?” The Irish man belts into the phone only to be met with sniffles and tears.

“Niall, I don’t know what to do.”

—

Anne was expecting you. She had set up tea with little cake in the back garden. Sasha was excited to chase the cats around the greenery. Her cute jumpsuit sodden with dirt and grass stains in no time.

“I’m sick of being at home alone all the time with Sasha. I miss Harry too much, she misses him too much,” you croak, attempting to keep your tears at bay.

“I want Harry to continue his career and live his dream. Most people never get the chance he’s gotten. I-I just need him.”

“Oh honey,” she rubs my hand soothingly, “I can only imagine. I know I missed him fiercely to the point it was unbearable when he was sixteen. I still miss him too.”

“I...I’m going to sound like such a bad mother,” you take a deep breathe, “would I be a bad mum if Sash and I joined Harry on tour?”

“Do you think that’d make you a bad mum?” Anne asks softly, a small smile on her face.

“No, I don’t think. I’d be happier because I’d be with Harry and we could actually be a married couple 24/7. She would get to see her dad everyday.”

“I think you’ve found you answer,” Anne chuckles, pouring more hot water into your cups.

“It will be so stressful.”

“More stressful than it is now?” Anne replies.

“Nothing can be more stressful than right now.”

- -

The talk witdh Niall helped only a little bit but enough to not feel like he’s going to vomit every other minute.

He was worried you were going to come in here and ask him for a divorce because he couldn’t follow through on his promises as a husband and a father.

Harry was ready to do whatever it took to prevent that from happening. He’s not above groveling and begging for you to stay.

It is dark when you pull in, toting in a sleeping child in your arms that you pass off to Harry who’s waiting at the front door.

He tucks his baby into her bed, tugging the blankets over her, and staring down at her sweet, cherub face for a little longer than usual before heading into your master.

You’re sat on the corner of the bed, biting your lip, and playing with you flashy large diamond ring as a force of habit.

“Baby...” Harry rasps, not touching you but kneeling down in front of you. 

“I can’t do what we’re doing anymore,” you begin, completely unaware that Harry thinks you’re about to ask for a divorce.

“I don’t think you’re going to agree with what I have to say, but I think it’s the best,” you swallow harshly, hoping he doesn’t shoot down the proposition.

“Please, I’ll do anything, lovie. Don’t leave me, don’t divorce me. I’ll do anything’ you want, sweetheart. Please, I need you. I’m so inlove with you.”

Harry is full on sobbing by this point, hanging his head against your knees as he attempts to catch his breath but finding it hard.

“Harry!” You murmur in confusion “baby, look at me, please?”

It takes him a moment to meet your eyes, your face is soft but wrinkled in concern. 

“What are you talking about? Divorce?” You choke out the words. Never in a million years would you willingly agree to part from your husband.

“I know I’ve been fuckin’ up. I can’t bloody figure out how to balance shit. I’ve not followed through and neglected you n’ the baby. I’m a bad husband and a bad dad.”

“Hey,” you said with force, bringing your hand under his chin so he has to keep eye contact. “Do not ever say something like that again. You are the best husband and father. You provide for us. You love us more than I’ve thought possible. You’re perfect for Sasha and I.”

“You said you couldn’t do this anymore,” Harry chokes out, letting his ringed hands rest on the tops of your thighs. His diamond wedding rand flashing in the light.

“Oh, H. I’m sorry - I didn’t mean with you.” You chuckle lightly, “how could you ever possibly think I’d leave you, pet?”

He shakes his head, “it’s because y’too good for me. Don’t deserve you.”

“Hush,” you hums, running a hand through his curls. “I know how to fix this.”

“How? I’ll do anything f’you,” Harry would agree to jump off The Empire State Building for you without a second thought.

“The baba and I are going to join you on tour. I know we agreed it’s be too much but I can’t imagine it can be any harder than this.”

Harry’s face lights up like a Christmas tree.

“That’s if you’ll have us,” you whisper coyly, excited by his reaction.

“Yeah, baby. It means I get to fuck you every night,” Harry growls pushing you back and up into the bed before crawling on top of you.

“A teenage boy, I swear,” you giggle, flushed just thinking about how much more time you’ll have together. 

“S’it so bad I want t’fuck my wife? That I’m so bloody gone for you that I’d do anything f’you?” He presses against your lips before demanding entrance.

“You can have me in your bed every night,” you agree, letting his tongue twist with yours with fever and urgency. 

“Mmm, only groupie I’ll ever need.”

“Shut up,” you laugh, allowing him to slip your shirt over your head and attach his lips to your collarbone.

“Can’t wait to fuck you in every country - like we did when you toured with me before the bab.”

When he tosses your bra across the room, you gasp at his mouth finding your nipple instantly. Nipping and suckling at the sensitive nerves with intent.

His hand doesn’t waste anytime, skillfully unbuttoning your jeans and zip with one hand before cramming his large palm inside to cup you in his hand.

“Only pussy I want, fuckin’ made for me,” he groans at the warm wetness he feel through the thin underwear. The tips of his fingers stroke over your clit with confident movements.

“Stop teasing!” You whine, wriggling out of your jeans and panties in one go. Harry is still completely dressed above you - which shouldn’t be sexy but it is.

“Don’t know how I thought you’d ever leave me. Y’fucking obsessed with my cock,” he laughs - sure of himself now.

“If you don’t touch me, I swear-“

“I’ve got you lovie, best wife ever, y’know? Just wanna please you,” he promises the damp skin on your neck, landing nips and bites that will surely leave a mark. 

“Then please me,” you demand, your tone a higher pitch than usual for your arousal.

You’re rolling your hips upwards to meet his jean-clad center. The friction feels delicious against your sensitive nerves.

Harry takes hold of your hip with one hand to halt your grinding, his other hand finding your heat and without hesitation - slides two thick fingers into you.

“H, yeah,” y/n moans, rolling her hips down to meet his hand. Her arousal coating his knuckles and he can’t describe how sexy that is.

He curls his fingers towards the top of you tight wall, finding the little spongey spot that has you bucking your hips and whimpering.

“Oh, did I find the spot, love?” Harry teases like he doesn’t know. He’s been an expert in pleasuring you for the past eight years. 

“Yes baby, m’gonna come,” you nearly slur with pleasure. The cold metal of his rings brushing against your heated folds in relief.

“Only gonna let you come - if you promise me you’ll come again f’me.”

“I will, H. I wil-“

“Ssh, s’okay. Give it to me, my love,” Harry croons sweetly, leaning to suck a nipple as he speeds up his minstrations. 

Your chest is rising and falling at a fast pace, your hips meeting his curled fingers on every thrust as he pushes you over the edge, “fu-fuck,” you moan, trying your best to keep your voice down.

“Tha’s it. M’wife looks so fuckin’ gorgeous when she’s coming on my fingers. Need you on my cock,” Harry grunts, removing his fingers and working to get his clothes off as fast as possible.

He’s positioning himself at your entrance with intent, wasting no time pushing in. No matter how many times you took him - it was always a stretch but it was immensely pleasurable.

“Love you, love our family. Can’t wait f’you two to join me on tour,” Harry pants, attempting to keep his thrust slow and meaningful but he was so turned on he was already becoming sloppy.

“S’going to be so nice. Spend everyday with my husband,” you hum, wrapping your legs around his waist and resting your feet on his bum. You can feel the muscle flexing from his thrusts.

“Yeah, never get tired of hearin’ that word.”

“Husband?” You giggle, “we’ve been married for five years.”

“Still can’t believe you agreed to,” Harry murmurs, his lips pressed against your temple as he becomes more determined. His thumb finding your clit and giving it hard, tight rubs.

Harry could have anyone he wanted. Millions of people lusted after him. It was hard to believe sometimes that he only wanted you. But in moments like this, you never questioned it.

“You’re ridiculous,” you tell him, biting his full bottom lip.

He growls, “hush up. Let me fuck you, yeah?” 

With that, the only thing that leaves your mouth is whines and gasps as he hits your spot on every fluid thrust with a determined thumb on your nerves.

“Cl-close,” Y/N shutters, legs quivering with sensitivity and arousal.

“Baby, baby wait f’me, m’close,” he begs against your skin, licking and kissing wherever he can reach. He speeds up his movements and you fell him tensing up, his mouth dripping open in an o shape and his eyes squeezing shut - his telltale sign.

You allow yourself to let go at that point and ride out the waves of intense climax with him as he weakly thrust a few more times until he lays his weight on top of you.

“The bubby is going to love South America,” Harry smiles into your mouth. His large palms massaging at your shaky, wet thighs.

“I think she’s going to love being with her daddy more,” Y/N replies, a hand coming to cup his jaw in a slow, languid twist. 

—

Thanks so much for checking it out :) PLEASE SEND ME REQUESTS!

[dreamkidddream]

I absolutely loved the doll! mc one with the brothers and diavolo. Could I ask for the same idea with the rest of the undateables and luke? If it isn't too much though. Thank you very much, don't forget to take care of yourself and stay hydrated!

I’m glad you enjoyed the first part!! I hope you’re staying safe through this pandemic and that you’re drinking plenty of water. I’m so happy that people liked the Doll!MC scenario so much (it even became one of my top posts and I was NEVER expecting that to happen 😳 click here to read it with the Bros and Diavolo). I got an UR card for Barbatos today and immediately thought back to this scenario cause I was just imagining the different situations with Doll!MC. Hope you enjoy!

Also, Luke’s part is strictly platonic, just FYI!

The Undateables (Minus Diavolo) with Doll!MC

Barbatos

Let me just say, you make this man’s day so much better

Your presence is just so calming for him. You could just be standing there (which is heavily enforced in the kitchen), not doing anything, and he would still be fully relaxed

Definitely loves you being in the kitchen with him, and will find ways to invite you so that you guys can spend time together

“MC, the young master has a tea party planned for this afternoon, and I’m afraid I may need your assistance to help prepare.”

“But Barb, I thought you didn’t want me touching anything-”

“I don’t want you touching anything that can cause you harm. I can easily handle the labor, but I do have a task for you...”

Cue to you sitting perfectly still and taste testing his sweets

“Barb, are you sure that I’m helping you like this? I don’t want to be useless to you!”

“Nonsense, MC. This is perfect. I needed someone with an exceptional palette, and you’re just the right person for me.”

Just you and him, and his sweet creations. What more could he ask for?

Maybe being in a relationship with you, but he is very sure that it’s going to be happening in the near future...and he didn’t even have to use his powers to know that

He stares at you a lot. He can’t help it, he loves to just admire you!

Barbatos is the type of guy where he doesn’t have to rely on words to express his love. His love language is acts of service: packing you lunch and extra sweets every week, giving you recipes that he wouldn’t even share with Luke, and gifting you mini accessories that you can wear with your outfits!

He gave you this adorable three-legged crow holding a cupcake hairpin and you’ve been wearing it ever since

He tries to hide his blush everytime he sees you and now he has to work even harder because of the pin lmao

HAVING YOUR OWN TEA PARTIES WEEKLY

You both have a designated day and time where you don’t plan anything in order to have your own tea parties

No Diavolo, no noisy demon brothers, no other exchange students (sorry Luke). Just you and him, enjoying each other’s company and him basking in your glow

If someone did try to harm you, he would already know of it and properly disposes of the problem. Lord Diavolo can’t afford to have any issues interfering with the exchange program, and he can’t afford to have anything happen to you so...no harm no foul, right?

Please continue to do what you’re doing MC. Stare at him with your bright, doe eyes and give him that lively smile everytime. It makes his day go by much easier, especially since he knows that you’ll still be there, waiting for him with your own desserts and that smile reserved just for him

Simeon

Was convinced that you were an angel

Lowkey still convinced that you’re an angel

Really, you just look so...angelic

Wasn’t upset when you revealed that you were in fact human; he was happy because this meant that he could show you around the Celestial Realm!

Speaking of Celestial Realm, be prepared for Simeon to be your very own personal tour guide everytime. This could be your 50th time up there and he’ll still try to point new things out

“And over here is-”

“Michael’s favorite resting place, since the lilies always seem to bloom whenever he’s around,” you giggled. “I remember Simeon, you tell me this everytime we visit!”

He’s a tad embarrassed

“Forgive me, MC. It seems that I get so elated over the fact that you’re here with me, I tend to repeat some things over.”

“That’s okay! I still have fun with you everytime!”

Oh MC, you’re too adorable!

Which causes him to worry over you. While he knows that the brothers and Diavolo (along with Barbatos) wouldn’t dare cause you any distress, the same couldn’t be said for the other demons lurking around, both in and out of RAD

But not to fear, Simeon your friendly guardian angel is here!

I am so sorry for the rhyme lmao

He may not have been personally assigned to you, but that doesn’t mean he can just let anything happen to you! He’s only doing his heavenly duties in protecting you! He’s also being a good friend by watching over you too, his little lamb

He wouldn’t attack anyone, but if he made a complaint or a very serious concern to the right person (Lucifer or Diavolo), consider the problem handled

You have your own tea time as well, and Luke would join you sometimes. But, every now and then, Luke would have to finish some homework or study, or Barbatos would miraculously call for him at the castle, or if it was just too late and Luke just had to go to sleep, then it would just be you two. Sitting by the fireplace, discussing matters ranging from RAD to your life in the human world, drinking tea that you would take turns preparing

Not to mention the downright dainty little cakes you would bring. One time you brought him angel cakes and he found so lighthearted and precious that he requested you bring them everytime, just for him

May or may not base a character in his new story around you

Simeon wants to shield you from the horrors that are surrounding you both. You’re so pure, he just wants you safe. From the way that you would dress to the way that your eyes would just look so amazed and innocent at him, he just knows that he needs to watch over you, always. The brothers do get a little wary when they see how much time you do spend at Purgatory Hall, but they know that Simeon couldn’t possibly have feelings for you, and you were always so giddy after leaving there, they couldn’t bring themselves to say anything

And Simeon knew that he was starting to feel more than he should. He couldn’t profess his love for you now in risk of falling, but he can wait until you get your wings. Just imagining you in your cute little Ceslestial Realm outfit (which he hopes still mimicked your current style) with your very own beaming halo was enough to keep him waiting and to make sure that you stayed on the right path

He deemed that you were worth the wait

Luke

BFFs! BFFs!

When he first saw you he could just cry

Someone innocent like you got sent down here with these monsters?! He had to keep you safe!!!

Simeon thought you were angel and then realized that you were not; Luke thought you were an angel and refused to believe that you weren’t

You didn’t have it in you to burst his bubble so soon, so you just let him run with it until Simon broke the news

It was like telling a kid that Santa Claus wasn’t real; you can only imagine how Luke took the revelation

Not well from what Solomon told you. Simeon kept saying he just needs some time to process things, and you just felt so awful about the whole thing

Which lead to you bringing him so much sweets that it made Beel jealous and very upset

But we all know how Beel can be around food, so it wasn’t a huge surprise. He chased you around all day and you had to use your pact to get him to stop!

And you promised to make him double the sweets in he forgave you so all is well

Luke was still obviously sad, but he wasn’t going to stay sad forever. Especially not after you brought this many sweets just for him!

Lucifer was not a happy demon when Simeon arrived at the HoL’s doorstep with you groaning and clutching your stomach. And Solomon took so many pictures of Luke while he passed out from his sugar high that he dedicated a whole album in his phone to it

Favorite activity to do together: Baking! (Obviously)

Trading recipes, shopping for ingredients together, baking things for each other to try (where really it was just to have double the desserts)

When you two are in the kitchen together, no one else is allowed (except for Simeon, but only if he’s looking and not touching). It’s now MC and Luke time, everybody else is gonna have to wait!

Luke only wants you to do the the activities that he sees as harmless: which is everything that doesn’t include sharp items and anything else that can hurt you

“MC get away from that! That can seriously hurt you! Let me get it for you instead!

“Luke, honey, it’s just an oven it’s not my first time using one-”

Too late, he already took it out of your hands into his own, mitts already on

Speaking of oven mitts

You guys have matching aprons and mitts!!

Barbatos may be a little bit jealous, but he likes the bond that you two have. And he knows that Luke won’t be a romantic rival so he’s alright lol

Luke is your deemed protector/bodyguard, and he proudly wears the title since no one bothers you because of him (or so he thinks). Everyone makes fun of him calling him a chihuahua, but jokes on him, when Luke complains, he complains

Won’t take long for Simeon or even one of the brothers to pick up on his whines complaints if he thinks someone is bothering you

Luke believes that while he’s small, he can protect you and try to keep you free from danger. He may be young, but he sees himself as the older brother out of you both (even though it’s really you being the older sibling and him being the baby). Always looking out for you especially since you’re too fragile to be left alone!

You’re one of the only people that genuinely likes him and don’t make fun of him. You’re dear to him MC, please don’t ever change!

Also, he definitely talks to Michael about you all the time so excitedly and sends him sweets that you both made together. Michael is a proud dad at this point

Solomon

Knew you wasn’t a doll but loved to tease you about being one anyway

Was there a spell that can really turn you into a doll? You wouldn’t mind if he tried it out on you, right MC?

Don’t tempt him please because he WILL do it

“Tell me, MC. Hypothetically speaking, if I were to purchase-”

“No Solomon, you can’t shrink me down to fit me into a dollhouse, no matter how nice it sounds. Besides, I can’t bake in a dollhouse, the oven wouldn’t work!”

“I can fix that.”

You’re very amusing to him for some reason. Was it because of how doll-like you are? The fairytale way that you dressed? How you were still human and was able to live with seven of the most powerful demons and not die? Maybe it’s the way that you still radiated such positivity despite being in literal Hell?

Honestly all of the above

TEACHING HIM HOW TO COOK/BAKE

Poor Solomon doesn’t realize that his cooking isn’t...the best

And you took the best approach in helping him atleast cook something that looks edible

You didn’t say his cooking was disgusting like some people (literally everyone else), so he took that you giving him lessons was a date of sorts

He wasn’t complaining. Your time spent in the kitchen was scenes straight of a romcom (no matter how cheesy it sounds); his arms wrapped around your waist and dotting icing on your pretty nose

May or may not have licked some icing off of you at one point, will definitely do it again

Solomon is a very confident man, borderline arrogant (Oh who am I kidding he IS arrogant). So yes, while people may see you as an easy target, he’s here to remind them that you’re not. And that if they want to try, chances are they won’t be walking away in one piece

He’s powerful, too powerful in fact. He may not be the strongest physically, but if even the entire student council recognizes his knowledge and what he’s capable of, no one should be dumb enough to test him (keyword: try)

But he wouldn’t mind showing off if it’s for you

You’re one of the only beings to ever peak Solomon’s interest genuinely. Yes, he loved to tease and bug you whenever he pleased, but you also made him want to come around you more and more. He was drawn to you, and that doesn’t happen a lot with him (at least without ulterior motives)

*coughcough* making pacts *coughcough*

You were the only thing that made Solomon feel weak, but that wasn’t necessarily a bad thing. Don’t get him wrong, he’s still The Greatest Sorcerer, but he couldn’t help but feel himself get weak in the knees when you gazed at him with so much sincerity. He loves it and loves you

Once your back in the human world, he’s going to be so selfish with you. I mean, he already kinda was now, but this time there won’t be any interruptions or distractions around to take your attention

Us humans have to stick together, and what better way to stick together than to be together, wouldn’t you say MC?

[chocominnie]

One Last Time 06 —  Pjm. (M)

⇢ pairing: Jimin X Reader

⇢ Genre: Idol!Jimin, Exbf!Jimin, model!reader, sad au, fluff, tons of smut, angst

⇢ Synopsis: Your idol ex boyfriend Jimin cheated on you. You two have been broken up for a while now and the media has been keeping track of you and him. You’re trying to get over him, but the things that happen inbetween makes you re-think the entire breakup, and so does Jimin…

⇢ Song : xxxxx

⇢ Word Count : 3k

⇢ Warnings: dominant jimin, makeout sessions, this is honestly a sad angsty au, cheating, pregnancy, unprotected and protected sex, a bunch of sex, no really a LOT of sexual themes too, I know I’m forgetting some but sorry in advance!

⇢ Copyright: please do NOT repost, translate, or modify my works in any way, shape or form, on any platform. If found doing so , it is considered as plagiarism and appropriate LEGAL action will be taken

⇢ Authors note: This is my mini series for the summer! Get your tissues, things to take your anger out on, and sit back and watch the drama unfold. Shall we begin?

‘‘ I swear I am going to have someone beat your ass Park Jimin!’’

‘‘ It’s not my fucking fault! I broke up with her but you lead her to the apartment  knowing she’ll follow!’‘

‘‘ Damn it Jimin im going to kick your ass!’‘

Your eyes pop open just in time to see Jungkook on-top of Jimin hitting him repeatedly on the face while Jimin manages to push him off of him and begin his fist fight against him. He straddles Jungkook to the floor and punches are thrown left and right. Now the sudden headache of seeing the two brothers fight has began in your head and you cannot stand hearing the groaning and yelling between them. Bringing your hand up to signal them to stop, you realize they don’t even know you’ve awakened.

 Jungkook on the other hand is not having it so he throws Jimin off of him harshly making Jimin groan. The way he grabs Jimin’s collar with venom fast strength finally gives you the courage to yell out to them.

‘‘ Stop! Damn it, you two are like literal fucking teenagers. Act your age!”

The both of them turn their heads toward you slowly. Jungkook drops his fist, which was going to connect with Jimin’s face. You take a good look at them. Freshly bruised from each-other. Great.

‘‘ You think fighting is going to solve this problem huh? Get over here now.” You say, eyebrows furrowed in anger.

Jungkook gives Jimin a death glare before rushing to your side and feeling your forehead. You slap his hand away and pull him down by his shirt only for him to recieve a harsh slap to the forehead.

‘‘ Shit!” He stumbles back and rubs his forehead. He shoots you a glare, wanting to yell at you but doesn’t.  You motion for Jimin to come to you too. He raises his eyebrows in amusement.

‘‘ I don’t think it’s necessary for you to do that..” He says, as if your death glare towards him isn’t enough to tell him you aren’t joking whatsoever.

He gets the memo when you disregard his comments before hanging his head low and bending down a little to your height. One slap against the forehead and two across the wrists.

‘‘ That’s for you fighting He was only looking out for me. The last two were for having a psychotic girlfriend who almost killed me. Look at my wrist!’‘

You hold them out to see two I.V’s, one for blood transfusion and the other a regular for nutrients on your right wrist. Both of them bandaged up which does need to be changed because of the old blood.

‘‘ I know and I’m sorry. I didn’t know she would be this upset.’‘ Jimin says, hanging his head low. Jungkook rolls his eyes at him out of annoyance.

‘‘ Whatever. I already called my lawyer for your case. Since Isabel tried to attempt murder to you, you will win this case for sure.’‘ He proudly leans against the wall hoping to atleast crack a smile from you.

You don’t smile though. The last thing you need is another scandal. If this were to make the news and blogs right now then it could be a bad thing. You’ve just started your modeling career again and right now would be the worst time to have something like that. 

Jimin leans on the wall with his hands in his pockets, still avoiding locking eyes with you which is something he usually does. Something tells you that he’s hiding something. Something that you just can’t put your finger on.

‘‘ The police will come shortly for witness statements and your statement. Then they’ll call for a court date as soon as possible.’‘ Jimin’s voice low, illuminating with a hint of sadness.

Out of curiosity you want to say something more. To ask him whats going on and why he’s acting rather like this. It’s really not like him. He’s hiding something for sure and you just cannot put your finger on it. You just agree and pull out your phone. A missed call from Ryan. You try texting her and she almost always responds immediately. This time she doesn’t. What’s really going on?

You don’t know but Ryan took it upon herself to pay Isabel a visit. Usually visitors aren’t allowed for people in holding but with a little sweet talk of hers she got to get atleast 10 minutes to talk. That’s all she needs. When it comes to you, her bestfriend, she never messes around. Hearing the news from Jungkook yesterday she almost went luncatic. Throwing things at him, calling his brother every disrespectful name in the book. Oh she hates him now for sure.

Jungkook had to stop her from going over to the hospital to beat his ass into a bloody pulp for causing you pain and getting together with that crazy girl just to break up with her. Ryan was heated. 

But now she can take this heat and serve some to Isabel right now. She walks with confidence into the room. Nothing and nobody can stop her and if they even try, she’ll chew them up and spit them out. Catching a glimpise of Isabel sitting at the table with her hands cuffed and security next to her, Ryan shoots her a devious glare.

‘‘ What brings you here? I expected my boyfr-’‘

A harsh slam from her hands hit the table as she bends a little to her seated level, ‘‘ He’ not your fucking boyfriend. You were lucky I wasn’t there to beat your fucking ass.”

The guard tenses up at the sounds and sudden movements. Ryan notices, and decides to take her seat to calm down before she’s the one sitting behind the jail bars too. 

‘‘ Ryan.. I thought we were friends?’‘ She frowns, pouting her lips while fake wiping tears away. 

Ryan scoffs,shaking her head ever so slowly with a devilish grin on her face. “ We aren’t. Don’t let me catch you un-attended without your manager or body guard.. Isabel.’’

Isabel laughs one of her evil laughs, throwing her head back then coming back up, “ Oh how cute. Is this a threat from little ol’ you? Me and Jimin were doing just fine before your bestfriend had decided to enter his life again. I’m not the only bad guy here. She should know boundaries for taken men. Ex’s aren’t supposed to be firendly and lovey dovey. Spending nights and going everywhere with each other. Especially when one’s a famous idol with another idol girlfriend. Do I make myself clear?”

“ Maybe you should take that up with your hoe of a boyfriend. He’s the one who can’t leave her alone.” She yells, inches away from Isabel’s face. The two stare at each other long and hard. Isabel is no match for Ryan though.

The guard clears his throat to break the two’s glares. The tension is thick in the air.

“ If you ever touch yn again, I’ll make sure you’re the one in the hospital this time around.”

‘‘ You’ll all see. I’ll win this court case. Trust me… there’s things you do not know.” 

Ryan rolls her eyes, strutting her way out the room with the sound of her heels clicking right behind her. Consider the message recieved. 

It’s been one week after the situation. In which in between those days you were dismissed from the hospital and have been in at Jimin’s house ever since. You didn’t want to be here. You want to be at home with your cat, Clara. Jungkook’s been going over to feed and play with her. Jimin kept pleading for you not to return home just yet because it could be a danger to you. It makes sense. You never know what Isabel has up her sleeve. 

So you’ve been sitting here doing the same old thing everyday. Eat, watch movies and netflix tv shows,  sleep, and repeat.

Jimin would come in and out of his home studio to check in on you. He still has to work on producing and singing his songs. He’d bring the food and your medicine he prepared per usual,  kiss your forehead, and go right back out to producing his highly anticipated album.

It all seems fake to you. Something is off. Something is not being told to you. You can feel it in your gut but can’t put a finger on it.

‘‘ This is so cliche.’‘ You murmur to yourself, switching the flat-screen T.V off.

And as if on cue Jimin comes inside your- well his room with a glass of water and prescribed pain killers for you. The slight smile on his face makes you want to smile but you don’t.

‘‘ Smile for ocne yn. Do you not like staying here?’‘ He says, sitting next to you on the side of the bed and places the glass in your hands.

You furrow your eyebrows at him, taking the two pills out of his palm. “ No.. but be honest with me Jimin okay?”

His face turns a quick shade of pink then pale as if you had said the wrong choice of words at the wrong time. As if he had seen a ghost at this very moment. That’s not a good sign at all.

‘‘ Are you.. hiding something from me?’‘

The atmosphere is thick and silence fills the room. You don’t say anything and he doesn’t either. Your eyes meet his and for once they don’t pull away first. 

Jimin doesn’t know how to break it to you though. It’s now or never.

‘‘ She will never leave me.”

You bite your lip hard, “ What do you mean?”

“ That she said that she’d do everything to ruin our relationship if we continue to persue one. She’d spready rumors about you to Dispatch. Make a scene whenver you’re near me. Anything she can do, she will do it.”

You don’t know how to take this all in. You knew Isabel was possesive but not this possesive. The thought of her doing things on purpose for you to make everyone hate you makes you want to cry. To just bawl your eyes out right here right now. You can’t.. you won’t do it. 

You won’t give in because thats what she wants. To make you cry. To ruin your reputation and work. Jimin came back into your life and of course you don’t know what to do or how to deal with it. But this is what you wanted right? You’ve been longing for you and him to get a second chance. It’s you. You’re the one who’s been putting things off and not letting things go with the flow. Maybe he came back to you because he realized how wrong he was for cheating on you. For leaving you behind. For not seeing things for truly how it is. 

You knew Isabel was bad luck from the beginning. Now is the time to try and take back what was originally yours. That will hurt her more than ever. 

“ She needs to have a reality check. Not everything revolves around her.”

‘‘ I agree. Putting her behind bars might give her a reality check. It should serve her right for harming people.” Jimin sighs. 

The silence is thick. You both don’t know what to say and it’s sure as hell awkward more than ever right now. Until that silence breaks. 

‘‘ I feel like you aren’t being your true self to me. If we are getting things out now.” 

His sudden comment makes you lift your head up from playing with the comforter. “ What do you mean?’’

‘‘ You.. don’t want to take actions on what you feel, say, or want to do with or about me. It’s killing me inside.”

He’s right. You do try to push your feelings aside no matter what the cause is. It’s just you trying to not set yourself up for hearbreak again. You do want him. You do want everything to do with him. Considering the things that happened in the past, it’s no doubt theres a fence guarding your heart from intruders. 

You exhale out heavily, “ Im just.. scared.’’

‘‘ Of? “

‘‘ Being hurt again.”

Dead silence again. This time he’s the one trying to come up with words to redirect your view of him. Yes, he broke your heart in the worst way possible. He wants you to see he’s changed. 

Jimin bites his lip, voice shaky when he begins talking again. ‘‘ How can I show you that i’m not the same anymore. Im not I promise you. I want you to see I have changed. I know it’s my fault. I destroyed you but let me fix it.”

It’s all come down to this. You’ve wanted this and now is the chance to get it. Now is the chance to have what was once yours. But the feeling of doubt had taken its course on you at the worst time.

‘‘ Jimin.. how do I know that for sure?’‘ You say, unintentionally fluttering your eyes at him. To you it’s to prevent from letting tears fall. 

Jimin see’s it as that specific thing you used to do when you wanted him. When you craved him and would drop hints. To be completely honest, you do crave him. You do want him. Make-up sex was something you two used to do often. It was your toxic way of saying im sorry. 

Somehow you want to put that toxic thing into action right now. As fucked up as it is, that’s how you two know you’re sorry towards each other. Actions speak louder than words. 

He closes his eyes for a quick second before clenching his jaw to contain himself. Your weak spot.

‘‘ Stop doing that. Unless you want to start something you don’t want to finish.” 

You smile just a little, hoping he’d get the memo. “ What if I do want to start and finish it..”

As if a car alarm went off, Jimin’s eyes pop back open with a suprised look. That’s the last thing he’d thought he’d be hearing from you. “ Are you sure about that? I mean we don’t have t-”

You lean in closer to where you guys are inches apart, his lips softly rubbing against yours. “ I’m all for it.”

Within seconds, Jimin’s shirt is removed off of you only revealing your blue panties which have became a little soaked with your wetness. He takes in the scent of you before his mouth connects with your thighs, slightly sucking to leave bruises on you.

‘‘ Jimin.. don’t tease me.”  You sigh, laying fully down to spread your legs even more. He hums against your skin making you catch chills up and down your spine.

‘‘ That’s my specialty baby. You know that.” He trails a kiss with each word all the way down to your core where he dips a finger inside. You tense up attempting to close your legs. He doesn’t allow it, spreading them open harshly again. 

‘’ Jimin-’‘ You barely utter before he begins to move his fingers in and out of you slowly. You let out a whine to try and make him go faster but it doesn’t work.

He comes up to your mouth and plants a wet, sloppy kiss. “ No whining. You’re gonna get what you want. Just relax baby.”

Is all he tells you before he goes back down to your core to tend to your desires.

The first lick between your legs is ever so gentle. Too gentle for you right now considering that you want release badly and Jimin knew exactly that. He opens his mouth and swirls his tongue up and down your slit. A groan leaves his mouth once he gets a taste of you which sends a vibration to your sensitive bud.

Each time his tongue laps against you your body jerked and shook but that only makes his tongue go faster. Sending you into a moaning and groaning mess as you tug on his hair.

“Mmh you even taste the same like always.” He moans with a smirk.

“Jimin please-” you cry out, locking your fingers into his hair when a finger is inserted into your dripping wet hole.

‘‘ No whining babygirl.’‘ His voice gentle as ever when he removes the finger inside of you making you pout a little. But that pout soon turned into your eyes becoming wide when he starts to take off his shirt, then grey sweatpants, then his underwear where his thick cock springs up.

Your eyes can’t leave his body. God it’s been a while. He looks pretty damn good. You wan’t to take all of his length in your mouth right now. To hear him praise you about how good your mouth feels against him. God you want it right now. 

He gives it a few strokes before walking over to you. Just before hovering over you, he gives you a passionate kiss while lifting up your legs and positioning them to his liking. Missionary.

The tip of him pokes at the entrance of you, teasing in and out. Soon enough he enters you slowly making both of you moan together.

You still wrap and fit around his member smug as ever, and he could not believe it. The feeling of familiarity of being inside you sends him into a moaning mess with each stroke. You can’t contain your moans and screams. He feels way too good. 

Jimin begins to deep-stroke you by pulling all the way out and slamming back in. You scream his name out in pleasure as your nails scratch up his toned back. Wet sounds fill the room with him picking up his pace. You take a glimpse of him only to admire his figure right now. Forehead forming sweat beads while he groans and moans biting his plump pink lips.

Your breathing becomes faster when that familiar feeling soon starts to take over. You turn your head to the side and let out a string of moans. Jimin isn’t having that though. His hand grabs your face gently and makes you make eye contact with him. Your legs start shaking as your head tilts back moans getting more faster. You finally let out one last one in sync with him, his hot sperm shoots inside of you.

Jimin pulls out, breathing heavily and collapses ontop of you. You let out a small grunt with the sudden extra body upon you, then giggle at him when he lays his head lays against your chest. This is what you wanted. He’s true. He’s sorry. 

‘’ I love you.”

That word surprises you. You weren’t prepared for it. Somehow though, you enjoy the fact that he’s said it to you. Love. Jimin’s love. Your love. 

‘’ I love you much more Jimin.’’