#i can't believe Jane barely made it in here???

[bluberimufim]

Incorrect Quotes (Devourer of Souls edition)

You do not understand how much I love this tag game. I have a huge note in my notes app exclusively dedicated to incorrect quotes for my OCs. Anyway, I was tagged here by @words-after-midnight (check out their post, it's pretty funny), and I'm about to make it everyone's problem.

(Before we begin, gently tagging @pumpkinsplots, @scifimagpie, and @mister-writes)

Theo, in chapter 1: Soooo... you come around here often? Seth: This is my house.

Seth, reading the newspaper: Someone tried to fight the Goddess of Love today. Flick, clearly dishevelled and covered in glitter: Well, maybe the Goddess of Love was being a bitch!

Seth, trying to flirt with Theo: I think both our families suck.

Seth, during the war: Please, I'm begging you, let me heal you. Theo, literally dying: I'm sorry, is OUR soul vanishing? Stay out of it.

Someone: How many kids do you have? Seth: Biologically, emotionally or legally?

Goddess of Time, trying to force Seth to adopt Jane: It's not that she is evil. She just lacks empathy and goes into a dissociative state and commits atrocities.

Flick: Well, remember when Jane gave me a romantic flower bouquet? Seth: Flick, she picked those flowers off the ground.

Flick, after coming to terms with The Curse: Would I rather be feared or loved? Flick: Easy. Both. I want people to fear how much they love me.

None of these are in an order that makes sense, but. You know.

[huellitaa]

style & school ₊˚⊹♡

for the girls who want to look cute in school even with uniform because school is, in fact, a fashion show ✨🎀

🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ first things first, before we get into anything, take into account your school dress code. things to think about:

♡ skirt lengths

♡ jewelry

♡ shoe types

♡ colours and accessories

♡ makeup restrictions

once we've established these things, then we can figure out a way to decorate ur uniform and make ur school life cuter! ♡

🎀𓂃 ࣪˖ sizing and best fit

so this sounds like it should be pretty obvious but nowadays, since school uniform is often bought online, the sizes might not always be the most accurate and may not compliment your body type as well as you'd like.

what i'd say for this is when buying new uniform always always always try and get the exact measurements and try your best to get one that compliments your body type as best you can for maximum comfort and maximum confidence ♡

i personally have my jumper / sweater a little bigger than needed just because it's comfy and it looks cute but go with whatever makes you the most comfortable and suits your style the most ♡

i know a few people who've got their uniform tailored to their size specifically and it helps a lot or they've just made little changes here and there, so i would definitely recommend this as one of the most basic things you'd need to start with.

🎀𓂃 ࣪˖ hair and accessories

ur hair is SO important because it can make a world of difference when it comes to accessorising even the most bland, boring outfits, in and out of school. i have a pinterest board of hair ideas and ways to do ur hair for in and out of school, but i'll list some ideas:

♡ hair clips! pearls, ribbons, colours, whatever you'd like! <3 ♡ half up half down is iconic, obviously! bonus points if you do half up half down pigtails, i do these all the time w ribbons in <3 ♡ claw clips! claw clips always they're so iconic and so cute ♡ space buns and braids of any kind are absolutely adorable. twin hairstyles are the cutest ever idc

🎀𓂃 ࣪˖ socks and shoes

okay believe me this makes SO much of a difference. i've been wearing black knee high ribbon socks and mary janes since i started high school and i look so bare without them. the impact that the little details can have on bland british school uniform is INSANE. lace, frills, small ribbons, mary janes, boots, any cute shoes that are allowed and fit the dress code will do ♡

i'd also recommend leg warmers if they're allowed! we aren't allowed them here but i've seen uniforms that are and they look absolutely adorable ♡

🎀𓂃 ࣪˖ jewelry, jewelry, jewelry!

so at my school we aren't allowed jewelry (but everyone wears it anyway) but i have found a way to improvise. everybody knows jewelry is a gorgeous way to uplift any outfit and make it look fancier and prettier and much more glamorous and it makes no different for school uniform!

if you aren't allowed jewelry then i'd also say if you're good at being sneaky to hide it under long sleeves or collars when around teachers and then just wear it the rest of the time. i do this personally because i've been doing it for years but this is not encouragement to get you into trouble! do not do this if you have a super super strict school and / or can't hide it well!

🎀𓂃 ࣪˖ bags n decor

oh my gosh i have this absolutely adorable bag for school ,, my bsf @gy0th-yawnzzn knows 🙏 having a cute bag makes things so much more fun. the amount of times i've had both teachers and students compliment my bag is crazy. ur whole life lives in there throughout the day so naturally ur gonna want it to be cute. keychains, ribbons, pearls, beads, bracelets, photos, charms, anything you can find and anything you like! my personal inspo:

🎀𓂃 ࣪˖ handmade things

along with being unique and individual and personal to you, having cute little trinkets and bracelets and handmade things can also make things so much cuter and give you your own kind of flair, as it were. i personally add ribbons to everything and cutify EVERYTHING i own cuz it just makes things way more enjoyable (like our school has special planners given to us and i decorate mine w gems and stickers) and wear bracelets i've made to school too! this is handy for individuality and just the little extra if ur super commited ig ♡

🎀𓂃 ࣪˖ season matching

matching your uniform alterations to the seasons is so cute and effective and makes you feel so much cuter and more in tune to the world around you, and gives you a sort of signature style too.

for example, in the summertime:

♡ short socks with frills or ribbons

♡ girly sunglasses (i have this pair of heart sunglasses and i absolutely adore them, i wear them everywhere)

♡ cute colour coordinated hats to match uniform

♡ shorter skirts, school dresses or shorts

♡ pretty golden or summery jewelry

in the winter time:

♡ hats, scarves, gloves, cute coats are a MUST

♡ long sleeves, vests under shirts to keep u warm, etc

♡ trousers, longer skirts

♡ leg warmers, long socks, tights or leggings

♡ jumpers, sweaters, cardigans, and so on

of course do all of these things depending on restrictions, make sure you aren't getting yourself into trouble ! but looking cute is also just as important to me and so i've tried my best to compile a list tailored to all of the strict school girlies with uniforms and restrictions that will help as many of you as possible. girls support girls to look as cute as we can whenever we can ♡

all my love! 💗🎀💖✨💘

[itsjennygirlz]

Here's the second part of a Story I wrote for another caption, you can have look here:

https://www.tumblr.com/itsjennygirlz/754945217832042496/since-you-always-had-a-crush-on-lindsay-the-girl?source=share

Since you Sissy Girlz wanted to know what's next here's part 2:

Mary was standing at your door, she seemed so excited!

"Come on Sis, show me how you put on that cute bikini Lindsay and I bought you".

You were so confused, and scared, as you stayed speechless, Mary said "If you don't do what I say, I'll told Lindsay you have a crush on her, would you want that to happen Jane ?". You took a minute to get your head clear, if Lindsay knows about you, you won't have a chance...So you took the bikini from the bag and started to put it on. "Let me help you Sissy" Mary helped you to put on the top. "Now a little bit of make-up !" She grabbed her make-up kit, and started to put some mascara on your eyes "Don't worry honey it's waterproof! Now which lipstick would you like to wear ?". Before that moment, you never thought you've ever had to answer that question. As you take a look at different options, you see the bright pink one and think how ridiculous you'll look with this lipstick on. Of course that's the moment Mary chose to decide for you "Seems like you've felt in love with one didn't you ? Good choice Sis you'll look so girly". She forced the pink one on your lips, you've hated yourself for that, but you've kinda enjoyed the sensation.

And then she took a step back to take a good look at you.

"Omg Jane you look, amaaaaazing ! We could barely say you're not a girl". That last part hit you pretty hard, mainly because Mary was right. As you took a look at yourself in the mirror you were so shocked to see how Mary made you look like an hot teenage girl.

As you were looking at yourself you've heard Mary giggling. "I can't believe, my brother is a real Sissy" At that moment you've realize  you're having an erection. You immediately start to blush. "Don't worry Jane, it's perfectly normal for Sissy like you to be exited for your first bikini afternoon with the Girls! I'm pretty sure Lindsay and Sarah will figure out how to make your little clitty stop bothering us. But we'll see that later...."

*Ding-dong*

"Oh that's probably Lindsay and Sarah ! Perfect timing, now let's go to the swimming pool !!! Come on in Girls, let me introduce you to my new little sister"

[zapreportsblog]

*ahem* Yandere Alec & Jane x Reader

Think about it,

When Bella goes to save Edward from the Volturi, Reader comes along to make sure their older sister Bella goes home alive only to make first contact with Jane.

Jane would be the quiet yet protective Yandere type, meaning when Jane first felt the bond she instantly wants the Reader close to her.

As Jane tells Bella, Edward, Alice and Reader to follow her with Felix and Demitri behind them(of course Jane makes sure to hold on to the Readers wrist lightly but strong enough)

Soon the group is in the throne room, Alec soon feels the same type of bond just like Jane and looks at Reader with hungry eyes.

Alex is the type of yandere that gets jealous easily and just wants to keep the reader locked up in a room.

Soon both siblings are on each of the readers side being protective and clingy, holding onto their hand and arms for recurrence and security.

Of course the reader is not used to it and gets freaked out and tries to get close to their older sister Bella, Bella doing the same thing by trying to reach out to the reader.

But the reader gets pulled back from Bella and has been forced to stay by the Volturi and the siblings FOREVER.

Ah yes now you’re talking my love language, who doesn’t just love them an unhinged partner

❝forced to stay❞

✭ pairing : yandere jane volturi x reader x yandere alec volturi

✭ fandom : twilight x reader

✭ summary : the moment she made a contact with the twins she should’ve known that her fate was sealed 

✭ authors note : I don’t know what it is about having a unhinged partner, but I find it oddly romantic . Like for an example I have been dating my current boyfriend for almost a year now and only recently I would say a couple of months back. He told me that he was going to look up my location and come to my house after I did not respond to him for the first few days of us talking, we were not dating in the beginning, obviously so the fact that this man was going to somehow get access to my location whew gurl, this man got me down bad 

✭ twilight masterlist

The evening had settled in, casting long shadows as Bella Swan sat in her room, her thoughts consumed by worry for Edward. She had barely spoken to him since he left, and the emptiness was overwhelming. Just then, a light knock on her window startled her, and she turned to find Alice Cullen perched on the windowsill, her golden eyes filled with urgency.

"Bella," Alice began, her voice laced with concern, "we need to talk."

Bella's heart raced as she sat up straighter. "What is it, Alice?"

"It's Edward," Alice said, her voice steady yet grave. "He's planning to expose himself to humans—to reveal his true nature—in order to provoke the Volturi into killing him."

The words struck Bella like a physical blow. Her mind raced, unable to comprehend what she had just heard. "No, he can't be serious," Bella whispered, her voice trembling.

Alice's expression was somber. "He believes it's the only way to keep you and your family safe from the Volturi's attention."

Tears welled in Bella's eyes as the gravity of the situation settled in. "I have to stop him," she said, her voice determined.

Alice nodded in agreement. "I'm coming with you."

As Bella stood, her gaze locked onto the window, and she realized that someone else was listening. Turning, she saw her younger sister, (y/n), standing at the door, her expression a mix of concern and determination.

"(Y/n), what are you doing here?" Bella asked, surprised yet touched by her sister's presence.

"I heard everything," (y/n) replied, her voice steady. "And I'm coming too."

Bella's heart swelled with a mixture of pride and worry. "(Y/n), this is dangerous. I can't let you get involved."

(Y/n) stepped forward, her eyes unwavering. "Bella, you're my sister. I can't just sit back while you face this alone."

Alice's lips curled into a small smile. "She's right, Bella. We're all in this together."

Bella hesitated, torn between her protective instincts and the realization that her family's bond was unbreakable. Finally, she nodded. "Fine, you can come. But promise me you'll stay close and follow my lead."

(Y/n) nodded, determination gleaming in her eyes. "I promise."

With the decision made, the three of them exchanged a look that held a mixture of worry and resolve. The bond between sisters ran deep, and their determination to protect each other was unyielding.

As they stepped out of the house, ready to face the perilous journey ahead, Bella knew that no matter what challenges they encountered, they would face them together. The unbreakable bond between sisters would guide them through the darkness, giving them the strength to save the ones they loved, even if it meant facing the Volturi themselves.

As Bella, Alice, and (y/n) approached the Volturi chamber, a tense atmosphere hung in the air. Shadows danced across the walls, and the weight of their purpose settled heavily upon them. Just as they were about to enter, a trio of figures appeared, drawing their attention.

Jane, Demetri, and Felix materialized before them, their presence both unsettling and foreboding. (Y/n) sensed the intensity of the situation, her instincts on high alert. Her gaze locked with Jane's, and a strange shiver ran down her spine. Unbeknownst to her, Jane's connection to (y/n) ran deep, fueled by the intense bond of mates.

Demetri's voice cut through the air, his tone respectful yet firm. "The kings are awaiting your presence. Follow us."

Bella exchanged a wary glance with Alice, a silent acknowledgment of the gravity of the situation. With a nod, they followed Demetri and Felix, their steps echoing in the dimly lit corridor. The tension was palpable, and (y/n)'s heart raced as they moved closer to their destination.

As they entered the chamber, (y/n) felt a shiver run down her spine once more. The Volturi kings sat upon their thrones, exuding an air of authority and power. Aro, Caius, and Marcus regarded them with interest, their eyes glinting with curiosity as they took in the unexpected guests.

"(Y/n) Swan and Bella Swan," Aro's voice rang out, his tone laced with intrigue. "A pleasure to have you with us."

(Y/n)'s and her sister Bella’s eyes widened, taken aback by Aro's direct acknowledgment of her presence. They offered a tentative nod, voices momentarily caught in their throat.

“So tell me, why have you come here? Why do two humans and one vampire stand before us?” Aro questions obviously amused with the whole situation. 

As the conversation with the Volturi kings continued, (y/n) felt a strange sensation wash over her. The intensity of Alec's gaze upon her didn't go unnoticed. Unbeknownst to her, the same bond that had sparked between her and Jane had also formed with Alec, albeit with different implications.

Alec's eyes, hungry and possessive, trailed over (y/n) as if she were the only thing in the room. An invisible thread connected them, a connection that (y/n) couldn't comprehend. Her heart quickened under his gaze, an unfamiliar heat blooming within her.

As the conversation continued, (y/n) found herself shifting uncomfortably under the weight of Alec's gaze, a sense of unease settling in the pit of her stomach. Soon before she knew it Alec and Jane were standing before her, they clinged to her every being allowing no room for others to touch or even get near her.

Their presence was suffocating .

(Y/n)'s world had become a whirlwind of confusion and unease. She felt like a puppet, caught between the possessive affections of Alec and Jane on one side and the protective concern of Bella on the other. It was suffocating, overwhelming, and completely foreign to her.

As (y/n) attempted to navigate through the tense atmosphere, her heart rate quickened. Alec and Jane were by her side, their grip on her hand and arms feeling like a constant reminder of their presence. The clinginess and possessiveness made her uncomfortable, and she found herself longing for a moment of solitude.

Bella's attempts to reach out to her were a lifeline in this sea of intensity. She wanted to cling to her sister, the familiar bond between them offering a semblance of normalcy. But every time she tried to get closer to Bella, Alec and Jane would pull her back, their possessive gestures preventing her from seeking comfort in her older sister's arms.

Torn between the conflicting desires of those around her, (y/n) felt trapped. She wanted to be with Bella, to find solace in her sister's embrace, but Alec and Jane's hold on her was unyielding.

Then, the announcement from Marcus changed everything. His words echoed in the chamber, declaring that (y/n) was Alec and Jane's mate. The shock and realization of what that meant sent tremors through her. It was a bond she didn't understand, a connection that both terrified and intrigued her.

As the truth sank in, the weight of her circumstances settled on her shoulders. Aro, always the master manipulator, took advantage of the situation. He presented Bella and Alice with an unfair deal, Edward's life in exchange for (y/n)'s captivity among the Volturi.

The decision was left to (y/n), and despite the unease and discomfort, she found herself speaking up. "Agree to the deal," she told Bella and Alice, her voice steady despite the turmoil within her. "I'll be fine. You have to save Edward."

It was a sacrifice that she never thought she would have to make, but (y/n) was determined to protect her loved ones, no matter the cost. As the deal was settled, (y/n) felt a mixture of fear and determination coursing through her veins. Her life had taken an unexpected turn, and now she had to face an uncertain future, bound to two yandere vampires who held an inexplicable claim over her heart and soul.

[menlove]

What do you think actually happened between John and Paul that caused John to become so bitter and vindictive towards Paul? If I remember correctly, the prevailing theory of John being rejected by Paul was actually conceived to retroactively 'explain ' John's behavior because otherwise it seems inexplicable why he would turn on so completely on the person who had been arguably his closest friend, if not lover. However, it's evident from Paul's lyrics and interview to Hunter Davies that he is entirely confused and hurt by John's behavior. Like he even complains everyone always looks to him for blame but nobody sees how much he was hurt by John. I'm not trying to take any sides here of course, both John and Paul had their faults and issues which complicated their relationship but genuinely curious to hear what your theory is.

honestly? bpd. like I barely even think of it as a theory, although ofc it is, bc sooooo many people agree that john could have Easily been diagnosed w bpd

like there's a thing called splitting w bpd where you just. like on a Dime you can't stand someone. and this can be very brief (I've split on people and it lasted like an hour) or permanent but it's very common. like you go every quickly from idealization to demonization of a person. or complete apathy (which is my personal kryptonite rip)

not only that but there's quite a few paul quotes where he talks about the fact that john started "slagging him off" as a way to distance himself from paul/the beatles and sort of "prove" to yoko that he was entirely devoted to her. which also makes sense to me as a bpd cunt bc I've unfortunately done that too 😭 and it's not necessarily an act either, it's just like.......... your brain can't make room for the way you feel for a New Person and an Old Person so you start analyzing everything that Old Person did and finding every flaw and magnifying it and blowing it up until you start feeling bitter or angry and suddenly in your mind someone that was once your world is like. some kind of villain out of a storybook.

and this is very very difficult to deal with and he wasn't really........ getting any help or outside people telling him that his view of paul/the beatles was being distorted. yoko was also pretty paranoid & from several sources encouraged his bitterness/paranoia (which isn't a dunk on her- I'm just a firm believer that she was a Complicated Person and villifying OR deifying is just weird and racist). not to Mention the scream therapy stuff, where I'm Pretty sure he himself has even said he was encouraged to pick apart his life and relationships and find Issues.

so you've got someone whose brain is already a goddamn game of mouse trap telling him that if he's not w paul/the beatles anymore he Has to hate him, surrounded by people encouraging that line of thought, and hounded by media asking him about it and pitting him against paul

and with that in mind, I do think it was also a bit exaggerated by the media. it was definitely encouraged, that's for sure. but even if john didn't Hate Paul, that's how it would be portrayed bc it made a more dramatic and interesting story. they'd ask him (and paul) leading questions to get the most material.

I honestly don't find it inexplicable that he'd turn on him without a "reason" so maybe my own mouse trap of a brain is part of why I disagree so much w that dominant narrative of rejection to explain it 😭 bc for me and many other bpd cunts I know it's just. it could Literally be nothing. often it's just a SENSE of rejection that will cause a split. and I'm willing to bet that their growing distance, paul pushing the band harder to work after brian died, paul not really accepting yoko and johnandyoko, the possible dying out of a sexual aspect of their relationship, paul proposing to jane & later getting with/marrying linda, paul Accepting john's ask for a divorce, paul going out and making an album on his own....... well. it's a perfect storm for my fellow bpd bitch to go "well fuck him I never loved him that guy fucking sucks and whatever he does doesn't hurt me anyway bc I don't care At All he's just the absolute worst and I can't stand him"

which of course had to be whiplash for paul. from his pov it was genuinely out of nowhere. but I will say all his comments about it and john needing to put him/the beatles aside for yoko and just..... all his quotes around john's mental health seem to be very VERY aware of all this. he knew john better than anyone & his main confusion seems to be around whether or not john ever actually loved or even liked him. which is an understandable emotional reaction. I think, though, he does show a deep understanding of john when he talks about all of this which makes me soooo :(

[weemsfreak]

Hello! I was wondering if you would write for Gwen (in fabric). There are not many stories about her and I neeedd her. Anything you'd like, please!

The Big Bang

Hello! I would love to! Recently I have been on a Miranda/Jane Murdstone/Gwen spree (Larissa is still the loml) butt I did have a smut idea for Gwen from In Fabric, because well, it's Gwen.

Enjoy!!

Summary: Gwen In Fabric x Reader. Smut with plot. You and Gwen share an art studio and find yourselves working late at night.

→ Warnings: smoking, alcohol, fingering, cunnilingus, grinding, smut, etc.

*☆…*☆…*☆…

You held your key up to the door, attempting to unlock it despite the fact that you couldn't see. It beeped, and you entered the large room, not bothering to flick on any lights until you got to your art space and turned on your lamp.

Scanning your eyes over your current work, you shook your head over every little detail.

This was going to be a long night.

Stopping in the small break room, you leaned against the counter as your coffee reheated.

You loved working at night, blessed to have the opportunity to rent out a space that you had access to always.

You were more productive at night, your creativity flowing more easily.

Making your way back to your space and placing your coffee down, you looked around.

Usually it was dark, as you were alone, but tonight it seemed rather bright.

You peaked around your easel and paintings, finding Gwen's space lit up, to your delight.

Excitedly you walked over, but her space was empty. You shrugged and admired her recent works; as expected, they were dark and rather…attention grabbing.

*☆…

At least 20 minutes had passed as you made minor adjustments to your realism painting.

You were deep in thought as you bent down to pick your brushes up off of the floor, standing and suddenly feeling claustrophobic in your space. It felt as if you had become confined, like something or someone was right beside you.

You whipped your head around to find Gwen, maybe a foot away, smiling down at you with intent.

You screamed, heart stopping, causing you to drop all of your brushes.

"Gwen, what the fuck?!" you said in a panic.

She snickered and averted her gaze to your art, "I can't believe you didn't notice me here, doll."

You tried to catch your breath as you checked your pulse. "I saw your lamp on, but I figured you had been here earlier."

She looked to you with a smirk before picking up your brushes and handing them to you.

"What are you doing here this late? I don't usually see you."

She shrugged, "Art is my night activity now, I teach French lessons during the day." 

You nodded, wanting to ask what her previous night activity was, but you were sure you already knew the answer.

"This is coming together nicely, I really like what you did here."

You looked closer at what she was pointing to, ah, the spot that you were stuck on; you thought it looked like garbage.

Gwen liked it, which was a relief. Though, she painted abstract, and Gwen was grounds for all things out of the ordinary.

"Come see what I've got on the go" she grinned, grabbing your hand and leading you to her work space.

She sat on her stool and watched as your eyes raked over her painting.

It was definitely abstract, but not very colorful. Different shades of black and red, it looked like…two girls? In a weird position?

They were in space, you guessed, with some glowing balls of hot gas floating around.

Your eyebrows furrowed as you tilted your head, "I like the black and white with the pop of red. It's …extremely creative."

Gwen looked up at you and wiggled her eyebrows, "I call it 'The Big Bang'."

Yep, yea, it was two girls banging.

You were honestly amused.

*☆…

A couple hours went by as you hummed to music and perfected your painting.

You then stopped for a snack break and figured you'd offer something to Gwen.

Walking over to her space, you found her boots thrown to the side, her bare feet covered in paint.

"Umm, what is going on?"

She stepped carefully onto a blank canvas, making neat footprints on the white background.

"I'm going to sell this to a guy from Wyoming."

She looked to you in total seriousness, "He likes art, and my feet. Probably because I'm tall."

You watched with your mouth agape as she dipped her foot into more paint and stepped onto the canvas with care.

She shrugged, "It's almost as good as feet pics."

It was too damn late for this, this was some unhinged shit; but hey, at least the woman knew how to make money.

"I uh- I was going to ask if you wanted a snack?"

Gwen looked at you, "What have you got?"

"A protein bar"

You held it out to her and she took it.

*☆…

You had made progress, almost finished (you hoped) of your painting.

Washing out your brushes and tidying your area, you decided to go for a walk.

It may have been like 2am, but you loved a late night walk.

You shut off your lamp and left your bag on the table, planning on coming back. But as you walked to the door, Gwen screamed your name.

"God, I'm not deaf" you said, turning around to face her.

You watched her stride up to you, wearing her platform boots again, thank fuck.

She tilted her head and winked, placing a hand on your shoulder.

"Honey, I'm not god, but I can make you believe that I am."

Your jaw dropped as you shook your head, a dark blush colouring your face.

You knew Gwen was lustful and outgoing, but lately she has been (very obviously) hitting on you.

"Where are you going?"

You looked to the door and then back at her, "For a walk."

She turned and went to her spot, pulling her bag onto her shoulder. "Not without me."

You then watched her stomp past you and out the door with a sway to her hips.

*☆…

Walking around the block in the warm night, Gwen pulled out a cigarette, offering you one.

"So, do you only do realism?"

"90% of the time, yeah."

You looked to her as she stuck the cigarette between her lips and attempted to adjust her bra strap underneath her layers.

"What else do you do?"

"I used to do abstract."

Gwen's gaze met yours as she chuckled, "I used to do realism."

*☆…

"Do you believe in fate?"

You looked over at Gwen questioningly, her head resting against the back of the bench as her blues scanned the stars.

You did the same.

"Um, well, I believe that our choices shape our reality, and maybe there are alternate universes in which we are vastly different."

You could feel her staring, so you paused, turning your head to meet her gaze.

"But, I also believe that we're only destined to do the things that we'd do anyway."

Gwen sat up, dusting off her skirt and ripped tights.

"Would you do me?"

You looked up at her as your eyebrows furrowed in question, snickering, "What?"

She looked away with a grin on her face, "You would" she murmured.

*☆…

Making your way back to the studio, Gwen drug you to her space once again.

You sat on a stool next to her and watched as she added to 'The Big Bang'.

"So, I was thinking for my next project, maybe something to do with dinosaurs?"

You nodded, lost in space as you stared at the way her long fingers flexed with the movement of the paint brush.

Gwen knew that you were watching her, stealing glances at you out of the corner of her eye. It thrilled and motivated her.

"Did I tell you about my ex? Oh, it's an insaneeee story."

As Gwen talked, you half paid attention and half let your eyes roam over her figure, from her face to her breasts, to her dark outfit and long legs.

Honestly, you were too tired to really listen to her story. All you knew was, she was beautiful, and interesting.

She was passionate and seductive, with an insatiable appetite; she was stunning.

When she was finished painting, she stood to throw her brushes into the water; leaning over you, her breasts in your face as she did. You leaned back with wide eyes.

"Let's go see how your painting is going" she cooed.

*☆…

You made another cup of coffee and emerged from the break room to find Gwen staring at your painting, nose almost touching it as she took in the detail.

"Do you ever paint people?"

You sat on your stool and looked up at her, "I have, but I'm not very good at it, so I don't."

She looked down with a blank expression before frantically eyeing your space. For what? You didn’t know.

"Will you paint me?"

You tilted your head in confusion as her hopeful blue eyes stared down at you. "I'm not the best at painting people" you repeated.

Gwen waved her hand in dismissal, "Nonsense, I want you to paint me."

She moved closer and bent down to your level, placing a hand onto your thigh.

"I want whatever you'll give me. And I'll pay."

You considered it for a moment, eyeing her up and down.

Feeling bold, you brought your face closer to hers and bit at your bottom lip, gazing between her eyes and lips.

"Alright."

*☆…

Friday night you set up a blank canvas and paints as you waited for Gwen to arrive.

You had told her to wear whatever she wanted, as long as she brought you some rum.

She entered, passing you a bottle, "Hi dollface."

"Hello honey" you smiled, taking a swig.

You got out your brushes and planned your piece while she undressed at her space.

Rounding the corner she stood in front of you, eagerly biting at her nails as she placed a hand on her hip, grinning mischievously down at you.

You were relieved that she choose to wear a black lingerie set, definitely not as bad as it could've been, considering it was Gwen.

You had moved a couch closer to your space, you gestured to it.

"Get into the position you want, I'll be right back."

Quickly you went to the break room, grabbing a couple of waters.

You returned and got out your pencil, peering around your canvas. Your jaw dropped instantly, heart skipping a beat as if you had been frightened, again.

Setting your wide eyes back on the canvas, you cleared your throat.

"Gwen, why are you naked?"

Gwen laughed as she fiddled with the obsidian around her neck.

"I want you to draw me like one of your French girls" she purred.

You sighed, picking up the rum and taking a big gulp.

"Were not on the fucking Titanic."

You'd admit that her voice made you feel something, the image of her on the couch naked with an arm over her head made your stomach turn pleasantly. Good god, this woman.

Gwen let out a soft hum that sounded more like a moan, "But we could pretend we are."

You rolled your eyes, "What if someone comes in?"

Gwen scoffed, "Nobody comes here this late, except for us. And if they do, they'll get a treat."

You pursed your lips in attempt to conceal your smirk, and peered around the canvas once more. "There you are" she cooed.

*☆…

You sketched and painted Gwen, admitting to yourself that it was going rather well.

Long legs, the pose showing off all that she wished to offer, and her pretty face, it was a masterpiece.

You hoped to capture her enigmatic essence at least to some degree, but your work was far from finished.

Gwen was really beautiful, truly, but it wasn't until you finished the main part of the painting that you realized how hot you were, your cheeks a deep red and your hands shaky.

"Okay, done."

You heard nothing for a moment as you fixed up some details, then, her heeled steps shuffled closer as she came into your view. Your gaze shot up to her face as she looked over your work.

"It's beautiful, dear."

Her fingers hovered over the painting as she admired it.

"I know it will be a masterpiece when it's done."

Smiling, you surprisingly agreed.

Gwen placed a hand on your shoulder and took a step closer to you.

She was tall, making you feel awkward at this height, sitting on the stool; and so you stood.

Gwen looked you over as you stood, a smirk pulling at her lips.

"Am I making you uncomfortable?"

You were sure it was a sarcastic question, or degrading.

Your heartbeat quickened as you shook your head, "No, nope, I'm good."

She turned to face you, your height difference making it challenging not to look at her breasts.

Still, you craned your neck to keep your eyes on her face.

"It seems that you won't look anywhere below my face, is that true?" she questioned, tilting her head in faux sorrow.

You blinked and shook your head in disagreement.

She smirked, narrowing her eyes at you.

"You just painted me naked, took in all my curves and..details, and now you can't look at me?"

Your eyes widened as you swallowed, "You're just, uh- so close now."

Gwen reached out and took your hand in hers, dropping her voice an octave.

"Are you scared that if you look you'll want to touch?"

Your breath caught in your throat, your heart now pounding. You swallowed thickly, then nodded.

She guided your hand to her waist, the urge to rake your eyes over her soft skin overwhelming you.

Taking your other hand in hers, she pressed herself against you, shocking you with her action.

"You can touch, honey" she whispered, slowly bringing your hand to her breast.

You gasped and breathed out into her shoulder as you felt her flesh against your hand.

The feel of her bare chest against yours made you want to rip off your shirt just to feel her. To really feel her.

"Gwen I-" She brought her finger to your lips and forced it lightly into your mouth, her skin sweet yet salty.

"Shh love, no questions or concerns, not now."

She removed her finger and pulled you tighter against her, whispering in your ear. "Do you want this? Do you want me?"

You held in a whimper, squeezing her breast lightly, "I do."

Gwen took in a breath as she pulled away, bringing her lips to your neck.

You moved both hands to her breasts, squeezing as you closed your eyes and focused on her touch.

She swiped her tongue up the expanse of your neck, and you couldn't help but squeeze your legs together and plead, "Please, Gwen."

Gwen chuckled, tickling your skin as she brought her hands to the hem of your shirt and pulled it off.

She cupped your face in her hands and pulled you closer, "Beautiful doll. Let loose for me."

You smiled sheepishly and nodded, "Okay Gwen."

Suddenly, she pressed her lips to yours, sticking her tongue into your mouth almost instantly.

You got lost in the way she forcefully yet gently let her lips slide against yours, whimpering into her mouth.

She pulled away for a moment, quickly undoing your bra and throwing it to the floor.

She pulled you back to her and pressed her breasts against yours, you tried to stifle a moan.

Gwen then brought her hands to your pants and undid them, sliding them down your legs, catching you off guard.

You let out a small gasp as you leaned on her for support and kicked them off.

She chuckled, "I felt weird being the only one naked."

You rolled your eyes and spoke sarcastically, "I'm sure you did."

She grasped your thighs unexpectedly and lifted you up to straddle her waist.

She met your lips as she walked to the couch and sat you on her lap.

You wrapped your hands around her neck, pulling her closer and sucking her bottom lip between your teeth as she pulled your hips into her own. You let her hands guide your hips against hers as you kissed down to her collarbones, then her chest, and lower.

You sucked on her full breasts, humming as you left red marks on the pale flesh and moved to her nipples.

You circled them gently as your head spun with desire, surprised when Gwen sneakily brought a hand to your heat and swiped a finger through your folds.

As you gasped in shock and pleasure, you slightly bit down on her nipple, making her jolt.

"Oh sweetie, do you need me?" she breathed.

You sat tall and smashed your lips to hers, hoping to muffle your moans as if you knew what was coming.

Gwen wanted a response, but she figured that this was enough, for it turned her on immensely.

She carefully yet quickly inserted a finger into you, setting a steady pace.

You licked into her mouth hoping to stifle your mewls, but she dominated you as she forced her tongue into yours.

Moaning against her lips, you felt her insert another finger and curl them up into you.

As you relished in the feeling of her filling you up, you realized how long her fingers were, and you revelled in a  desperate feeling that you had never felt before.

You gasped for air as she picked up her pace, shoving your face into her neck and whimpering against her skin.

"Shit Gwen, please, please" you pleaded as you ground down onto her fingers.

Gwen smirked as she added another, watching as you writhed on top of her. You moved your grip from her shoulders to her head, weaving your fingers through her hair.

She breathed into your neck, "You feel amazing, come for me doll."

You couldn't hold out any longer, coming with a loud groan of her name as you felt her fingers continue their assault. She eventually slowed and you clutched her body to yours, not wanting her to pull away.

When you recovered, you responded by licking down her breasts and stomach, stepping off of the couch as you got to your knees. Placing your hands on her waist, you began to kiss her lower legs and work your way up to her hips. Gwen parted her legs in anticipation as you continued to lick and nip at her pale thighs.

As you reached her dark centre, you could see the shine of her arousal, and you breathed deeply in anticipation.

You watched as she brought a hand to her breast, her other to your head as she pushed you closer to her with force. She then ran her fingers through your hair, waiting for you to make your move.

You chuckled giddily and wrapped your hands under her thighs, pulling her toward you, opening her legs wider as you did so. With need you moved closer, trailing your tongue up her folds softly. You slowly flicked your tongue over her clit and down to her entrance, digging your fingers into her the flesh of her thighs.

You pushed your tongue into her as she squirmed, then flattened your tongue as she began to grind against it. Her fingers wound your hair tight as she let out whimpers and deep moans. Groaning into her flesh, your legs spread involuntarily at her sweet sounds.

"Oh honey, please, faster" Gwen begged. Her moans were turning you on immensely, you went faster, getting caught up in the sound of her raspy voice. You couldn't help but moan against her at the pain of her heel digging into your back, your thighs becoming drenched.

Suddenly, Gwen leaned forward and pulled you up by your hair, turning you around and pushing you back onto the couch. You grunted as you fell, looking up at her wide eyed and even more turned on.

"Spread your legs" she demanded. You did as told, watching impatiently as she settled on top of you, one leg under yours and the other over, lining up your core with hers.

She bent down and slipped her tongue into your mouth, moaning as she felt the wetness between your legs.

"You're drenched baby" she purred, placing a hand on your ass to gain more friction. You moaned rather loudly as she rubbed against you, grabbing her hips and squeezing.

"Shit, Gwen!" you breathed, closing your eyes in bliss as she pressed you down into the couch.

She grinded against you frantically, your release fast approaching as she whimpered against you, sinking her teeth into your shoulder. You gasped into her hair, breath shallow and eyes threatening to close as Gwen pressed her forehead against yours, her mouth open in pleasure.

You came right there and then when you saw the need in her eyes, the pleasure written on her face. You threw your head back in bliss as she did the same, moaning your name as she let you down from your release.

You were both sweaty as she leaned forward and kissed your chest, your breaths evening out.

Gwen kissed you on the forehead and ran her fingers through your hair, hugging you to bring you comfort.

She chuckled against you and closed her eyes happily, "This is what 'the big bang' is all about."

You couldn't get enough of Gwen, laughing at the thought of being in space; you wished that you were.

You kissed her on the cheek as she sat up slightly and she looked down at you, "I'd love to paint you next time" she purred with a wink.

[scarisd3ad]

Begin again

Pairing(s) - billy Hargrove x fem!reader (past), Steve harrington x fem!reader

Summary- after the end of your 2 year long relationship with billy you finally go on a date again and realize how horrible billy really was to you.

Warnings - mentions of a toxic relationship

Masterlist

I sighed as I looked at myself in the mirror, this was my first date I was going on since I broke up with Billy and somehow, I can't shake all the old habits I used to have. he hated when I wore heals absolutely hated them because he said they made me taller than I actually was. I slip them off not knowing if Steve had the same preference. I decide on a pair of Mary janes that still had a heal but wasn't that tall it was barely an inch. this was just a first date down at the coffee shop around the corner, but I still felt this overwhelming pressure to look good.

I put my favorite cassette into my Walkman. Billy hated this song, and he always made it known when I listened to it. "God why do you like this shit" he'd mutter every time. I decided on walking to the coffee shop since it was a nice day, and the coffee shop was just down the road.

when I arrive, I assume Steve would be late because Billy always was. I just assumed all men didn't care about punctuality. but when I open the door Steve's sitting at a table in the far back corner. the bell from the top of the door pulls his thoughts from the menu he was looking at. he looks up and waves me over. when I walk to the table, he gets up pulling the chair across from his out for me. I smile, Billy never did this for me. "Thank you" he shakes his head as I take a seat "it's not problem."

'you dont understand how nice that is, but i do'

he throws his head back laughing when I tell a joke that I didn't think he'd find funny because Billy never did. he always said I wasn't funny, but Steve thought I was. "it's not that funny" I giggled as I push a piece of my hair back behind my ear. he continues to laugh, and I can't help but admire how handsome he looks. I've spent the last I don't know how long believing that love was a horrible thing that I never wanted to do again but right here in this coffee shop everything changed. it was like everything I ever experienced with Billy was erased and I was able to begin again.

James Taylor was my favorite singer and somehow was Steves too. "I've never met a girl who has as many James Taylor records as me" he laughs after I told him about my collection. Billy would've found that as me trying to say I was better than him in some type of way, but Steve doesn't. I laugh "ma-maybe you could come over one day and I Dunno check'em out" I say with a shrug he nods "yeah, yeah that would be fun."

he tells stories about his friends and his family and thinks it's weird I'm coming off a little shy. I was used to listening and not talking with Billy. "Are-are you alright?" he asks his brows furrowed together; I shake my head "ye-yeah I'm fine i-i I'm sorry" I mumble "it's alright you don't gotta be shy around me" he whispers.

as he walks me down the block to my house, I almost bring Billy up trying to forgive Steve for my nervousness, but he brings up the movies that he and his friends watch every Christmas and I want to talk about that. "Yeah, and we watch the grinch every year on the 24th and all the kids come and robin and Eddie too and shit its cool" he laughs. for the first time what's past is past and I don't want to bring Billy up anymore. I don't want to pretend I don't like my favorite artist or pretend I don't love wearing high heels for a man who wouldn't even kiss me. "y'know I really like you and I'd really like to do this again" Steve says as we stop in front of my house "I really like you too" I whisper as I look down at the ground flustered. he places his hand on my chin pushing it up so I'm making eye contact with you. "Can I kiss you?" he asks I nod before leaning in and pressing my lips to him.

'On a Wednesday in a cafe I watched it begin again'

[m3l0v3trees]

DOGDAY X READER

HIGH SCHOOL LIFE

You have finally graduated Middle school! And finally going to high school! But, it seems like tall toys in your new high school is a new Reality!? What will happen to Y/N?

Warnings!: Bad grammars, bad introduction, bad story telling. And idk.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Summer high paradise

Today was your day of your first day of high school! Finally after encountering some problems in middle school, you have finally got in your dream school! Summer high paradise! The most famous high school in the country. After the president of the country had announced about living toys and humanity can live in peace together it has been very entertaining and awesome!

The Summer high paradise was also known for its accomplishments of peace from living toys and humanity of living together. It was announced three years ago I believe, since that year. Everything was so peaceful despite for some toys being tall, they have such kind souls.. most of them.

Despite that. You always believe in peace and harmony.

After your graduation from that cruel middle school of yours. You felt like you have been released from that awful school of hell! But you were relieved that you made it through. After some part time job, saving enough money and your parents giving you some money. You have finally got in Summer high paradise your dream high school!

And that day is today. Today you were standing out of your high school dream gates!

"I can't believe that I am here! After spending my time in middle school and doing part time jobs. I am finally Infront of it!"

Excitement and nervous runs through your veins feeling the warm breeze hit you like a burning flame. You weren't sure why your nervous and excited at the same time but, now that you have think of it. What if.. what if.. the other students bullies me.. just like in middle school.. you thought to yourself as your nervousness gotten more uncomfortable in your body.

"Maybe..it won't be that.. bad?" You said.

Despite it all, you enter the gates of Summer high paradise. Your eyes widened in amazesment seeing a beautiful view of the school itself and the gardens surrounding it.

"It's.. so.. beautiful..." You murmured out of your mouth.

You continued to admire the school with stars in your eyes. Till someone tapped you on the shoulder making you yelp. You turned around to see your aunt smiling at you. You remember that your aunt was a teacher, but you didn't thought she teaches in Summer high paradise!?

"Auntie Jane!? Wh- what are you- " your words were caught off by your aunt replying.

"I teach here, sweet pea. Didn't know that you would be enrolling here!" She chuckled out. Same old auntie Jane as ever.

She helped you stand up on your feet while laughing. You look up at her still surprised that she teaches here.

“Sinceeee... I also heard from your mother that you were enrolling here! I couldn't help but want to surprise ya! So here I am!” She chuckled out looking at you.

“Well, enough chit chat! I'm going to lead you to the principal's office and.. with that! I'll give you a tour! Since My class starts in the afternoon!” she giggled dragging you in the school while you just get dragged blinking confusingly looking like this (•_•???)

You swear that as you were just getting dragged by your aunt through the school hallways. You can barely see the other students staring at you confusingly about you as you were dragged by your own aunt. But you also noticed some other students are living toys ain't that cool!

"Oh, Principal Catty!♪ Turns out the new student was my niece!" Your aunt shouted after she kicked the door open taking in the principal's attention.

After your aunt put you down on the chair. You just blinked confusingly at her.

"So.. you must be miss Y/N L/N? Am I correct?" The principal said looking at you.

You nodded at her while taking in her beauty. She was very beautiful to be honest. The principal then continued to explain about the school and it's school rules, it wasn't much it was the same school rules in your middle school years.

"And also for your class... Your homeroom teacher will be Professor Monk. In room B21. And that's all, and if you have any problems please come in my office to report it." Her gaze went back to the papers that she was dealing with.

"Oh! Um.. thank you miss catty. I should get going now." You said as you see her nodded her head politely.

You walked out of the principal's office and saw your aunt standing in front of you. Before you could even speak, She dragged you again in full force pulling you.

After all the dragging. She showed you around the school campus, there was the cafeteria, the gym, the library, the stage, the teachers office, the garden, and the bathrooms. The school was quite big in your opinion.

"So, Y/N. Where's your homeroom? So I can just lead you there!" She smiled waiting for your response happily.

"Oh! It's.. room B21!" You replied.

"Oh! Your in professor monk's homeroom? Bummer! Here I thought that you would be in mine!" She pouted and it made you laugh.

After she iscorted you to your homeroom. She waved goodbye at you as she proceeded to her office just a few halls away. You also waved goodbye and after she was no where in your sight, you walked in your homeroom.

After coming in and turning around. You could see that your homeroom classmates eye's are on you, making you feel uncomfortable. With that, your teacher came in just in time, phew! What a relief!

Oh! I forgot to mention! Your homeroom can fit 40 students! Just like mine!:) anyways!

Your teacher named Professor Monk or Mr monk. Was a living monkey toy, with a beard but you didn't mind.

The teacher clapped his hands to get the students attention making them sit back down on their chair.

"Alright class! This young lady here, is your new classmate. Please introduce yourself."

"Um.. h-hi.. my name is Y/N.. L/N.. it's a pleasure to meet you all!" You could feel your body shaking from nervousness. But your teacher noticed it.

"Please make miss Y/N feel comfortable! Y/N, You may sit at the back just right next to dogday." He pointed at the back where an orange dog waved at you with a happy expression.

You thank Mr monk and you made your way at the back to your sit. But someone.. pulled a trick on you. They put their leg on your way but you didn't noticed till you trip over by it as a certain yellow rabbit laughs.

"Hahahaha! What a loser!" He laughed

"Bunzo bunny! To the principal's office! NOW!" Mr monk yelled at bunzo.

The yellow rabbit groans angrily and storming off out of the class. As you try to get on your knees someone hands out to you a hand or should I say.. Hands out a Paw.

You look up to see an orange dog with a concerned face. Anyways, you took his paw and he helped you up on your feet. He smiled at you and yet couldn't but smile back.

"Thank you.. dogday was it?"

Dogday wags his tail happily as he nodded.

"That's me! And sorry about bunzo. He's a little bully." He chuckled.

"It's fine.. I'm used to it. Since middle school.." you frowned a little before sighing.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~Time skip!~

Finally! It was lunch time! After going through the classes and making your way to the cafeteria. You couldn't help but sigh in relief. After some walking to the cafeteria, Someone yelled your name behind. You recognise the voice... And yeessss it was your aunt running towards you.

"EEK!!" You shriek in fear and started to run inside the cafeteria and closing the door.

You weren't watching where you were going and you bumped into someone. You fell on your butt and let out a groan as you look up to see, dogday Infront of you.

"You good, Y/-"

After you finally stood up. You run making dogday stand there confusingly as you run inside the girls bathroom and locking yourself in one of the bathrooms. You know your aunt very well... And when it comes to food... She turns into a monstrous food giver beast who would feed you to your full of death.

After 30 minutes of hiding. You peeked through the bathroom door to see your aunt is nowhere to be seen. You looked around and slowly got out and started walking to the cafeteria again. You sighed in relief as you took out a tray and filling it with food. Since lunch time will be over in 20 minutes.

As you walked towards an empty table. You sat down and finally dig in.

"Hey Y/N!" A familiar voice called you.

You turned around to see dogday walking towards you with his friends if you wanna call it.

"Oh hey, dogday. Sorry about earlier... I have to run from my crazy aunt." You laughed nervously.

"I get it. But can all of us sit here with you?" He smiled and it made you blushed slightly.

"Oh! Um.. sure! I don't mind." You smiled with some food crumbs on your cheeks.

"Hiya new girl! Thanks for letting us sit with ya!" Hoppy said as she sat down grinning like a tomboy.

"Your name must be Hoppy." You continued to munch as everyone sits on their chair.

"Yep! That one and only!" She grinned not a bad way but a good way.

You all talked together and you have finally all of theirs names! Bubba, picky, bobby, hoppy, kickin, craftycorn and catnap!

After having small talk about you and themselves. Seem like your getting to fit in seeing some of them have the same likings as you! But your having a feeling... The feeling of being watched...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

English was not my first language:(

[magniloquent-raven]

everybody's saving grace

(cw the karen and billy thing. but this is mostly about joyce finding out and getting protective of billy, so)

(read on ao3)

Jane didn't speak for seven days after they lost Hop. 

Joyce made space for her in their home, accommodated as best she could. Will offered her his room and promised he didn't mind sharing with Jon, they used to bunk together on the rare weekends when Lonnie remembered he had kids anyways. More often than not though, Jane would sneak into Joyce's room in the middle of the night, awkwardly hovering in the doorway until Joyce patted the empty space next to her and Jane would crawl into the covers silently, cheeks wet with tears. 

That first night Joyce tried to talk to her about it, with soft words and a story or two about the trouble she and Hop used to get up to as teens, hoping to coax a smile out of her, or at the very least a story of her own in response. Something. Anything. She tried to tell herself it was only because she was trying to help, but there was a selfish part of her deep down that just wanted someone to share her grief. Jane was the only other person in the world who felt his loss as much as she did, and she needed help shouldering the burden. 

But Jane would only listen. Curled on her side and squeezing Joyce's hand, blinking up at her with red-rimmed eyes. 

Joyce would wait until Jane fell asleep to shed her own tears. She's up at all hours nowadays, watching every shadow, listening in the dark, a cigarette between her shaking fingers. Her boys have noticed, she knows it. Jon's picking up more slack than usual, cooking meals and cleaning house and making sure Will is always accounted for. And Will. Will has barely said more than Jane has. He's always been a quiet boy, but…well.

Even his friends spending all their time around the house hasn't brightened his mood. Mike has been glued to Jane's side, getting more and more drawn and frustrated the longer she goes without speaking. Dustin and Lucas have been the loudest of the group, trying desperately to fill the silence, and Joyce can't say she isn't grateful for it. The house feels more full when they're here. It's easier to keep busy and not let her mind wander.

On the seventh day after the mall fire, Max Mayfield asks her if she can spend the night. She's been paler than usual. Withdrawn, but only when no one is looking. 

Joyce puts a gentle hand on her shoulder, "Of course."

She gives the girls her room, and says she'll sleep on the couch. No one believes her, but they don't bring it up. She sits at the kitchen table alone, fiddling with the ashtray Jon made her when he was eight. There's a chip in it from when Will, young and clumsy, dropped it while trying to present it to her with all the puffed-chest pride of a toddler given a task. 

He cried for twenty minutes after that. No amount of hugs and forehead kisses would get him to calm down until Jon told him, his dark brown eyes big and solemn, that he hadn't broken it, he'd given it some character. 

Things were so much simpler back then.

Not easier, not really, just…less complicated. 

At two am she decides to brush the stale coffee taste out of her mouth, but stops dead in her tracks on the way to the bathroom. 

"I hate him," Max's quiet sniffling filters muffled through the closed door. 

She shouldn't be eavesdropping. But she can't…not. The walls are thin, and the floor creaks, and she can't move without everyone in the house knowing she's frozen awkwardly in her own hallway. 

Well. She toes at the carpet with socked feet. She might be able to sneak away. Maybe. But…

She's concerned. 

God, she's becoming her mother. Nosy to a fault.

"I'm just…I'm just so angry, you know? He—he saved your life, and I'm grateful for that, but," she pauses, and there's rustling, a sigh, "Stupid asshole up and left me. Everything we've been through and he…he's gone, just like that, it's not fucking fair." 

Joyce had heard about Billy Hargrove from Jonathan. Just a little bit, vague details. "There's some new guy at school," with a scrunched up face, nose wrinkled with distaste. And a week later, "He got into it with Steve, knocked him around pretty bad." It made Joyce nervous, whenever she saw him around town, picking up cigarettes from the store on the corner, driving that loud car of his up main street. She'd always think of the Harrington boy's face, bruised and swollen, the worst-case-scenario that used to haunt her thoughts after Lonnie gave Jon a black eye when he was ten. 

Then, "Max's brother, he, uh…" Solemn brown eyes. It's not broken it has character. "He got…possessed, I guess." Standing in the Starcourt parking lot with a shock blanket around his shoulders, sweat matted in his hair, Jonathan pieced together what he knew. It wasn't much, and she couldn't stop thinking about Hop's teary nod, the white light that burned her eyes even though she closed them, the empty space where he'd been standing seconds before. 

She feels horrible now, for only half-listening. For not giving much thought to the boy who died saving Jane. 

He was just a kid. Only a few years older than Will. 

"How did he even get caught up in this bullshit?" Max's voice breaks, despite the force of her anger, cracks under the strain of her grief. "Did…did you see? When you looked into his memories."

The silence is heavy. Strained. Joyce chews the inside of her cheek. She doesn't expect Jane to reply, and figuring she's heard enough she goes to tiptoe away.

"Yes." 

Joyce freezes. Jane's voice is barely more than a crackly whisper, but unmistakable. There's a pang in her chest at the sound of it, emotion welling up, thick in the back of her throat. 

"What happened?" 

She can't help leaning in a little, stopping just shy of pressing her ear directly to the door.  

"It was…nighttime. He was driving." There's a pause. "Mrs. Wheeler wanted to see him."

…What?

"What?" Max echoes, breathlessly scandalized. She can't think it was like that. Was it?

No, there's got to be an innocent explanation. She struggles to come up with one, but it must exist. Karen is her friend. Sort of. They went to school together. They've known each other their whole lives. Back when they were teenagers Karen had a bit of a reputation, sure, she was a ditz with lofty romantic notions and a string of boyfriends willing to play along, but she's settled since she got married, and she isn't a predator. 

"He was going to. A mo-tel," Jane sounds out the syllables carefully, a child repeating an unfamiliar word. 

Joyce's heart drops. 

Her first, and worst, thought is about how that boy used to parade around town, drawing as much attention as possible. She'd never seen him with the same girl twice, and she'd never seen him in modest, weather-appropriate clothes. Karen was always weak for a flirty guy, she was easy to take in with a few flattering words, and by the time she realized they didn't mean any of it they'd already gotten what they wanted from her. 

She assumes Billy must have laid it on thick, as he was prone to do, and Karen fell for it, like she always did.

But that was when she was a teenager too. When she was a silly, impressionable girl, not a married woman with three children of her own. 

Her children, Christ. Joyce's stomach turns. Billy was in Nancy's year. He was Jonathan's age. 

Bile burns the back of her throat. 

She'd been hearing gossip about Karen and half her book club spending every day at the pool all summer and she hadn't thought anything of it. Not a goddamn thing. How long had it been going on? Was she sleeping with him when he was still in school?

Joyce puts her head in her hands and lets out a slow, silent breath. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. She doesn't feel any calmer but she feels less like throwing up. Confused, directionless anger prickles under her skin. It's easier to be angry. At Karen for taking advantage. At herself for not caring soon enough. At everyone for not seeing it before it got him killed.

She hears Max swearing, ranting, none of it makes sense and she can only make out every other word. She's not sure Max even knows what she's saying.

There's this…itch. In her brain. That little buzz at the base of her skull, when she needs to get up and do something, when she can't sit still, stay quiet, but. But there's nothing she can do. There's nothing to be done. 

Her fingers clench in her hair, hands trembling as she aimlessly pushes her bangs back.

She can't do a goddamn thing.

**

It takes Joyce three weeks to lose her shit.

She's been trying to get Jane settled in—with a few new things and a lot of hand-me-downs, she's tall enough to fit into a lot of Joyce's old clothes—but it's been…challenging. She still barely speaks. Joyce isn't sure if that's normal for her, and that's part of the problem. As much as she wants to take care of this child she barely knows her, and the universe doesn't seem to be that keen on giving her the time to change that. 

Because she has…a lot on her mind. Looking into places to move, for one. Sunny places. With minimal suspicious deaths. And work has been much busier now that the mall has burned down. And people all over town are still talking about it, people who have no idea. Who don't know. They still pat her hand and tell her Hop was a hero, like that will make her feel better about pulling the switch that got him killed. 

And then there's…the Billy issue.

Max comes around the house a lot. Always wearing a denim jacket that smells like Marlboro Reds. Snapping at Mike more and more often. And Joyce has no clue what to say to her. 

If there's even anything she could say.

She keeps…failing. She failed Will. She failed Bob. Hop. Twice over, when she couldn't get him out of that base alive. And now. His daughter is struggling. Her friends are struggling. Joyce is doing everything she can but it's not enough, and it's driving her crazy.

She can't scratch that itch in her brain, no matter what she does. No matter how much often she rents Jane's favourite movies to watch as a family, or sits with her after dinner and goes over the writing and grammar worksheets they got from the library, or insists on cooking dinner and pretends Jonathan isn't hovering over her shoulder the whole time expecting her to burn their grilled cheeses. 

Because every time Max stays over they all act like they can't tell she's been crying, like they don't see her eyes go vacant whenever someone lights up a cigarette or a car engine rumbles in the background or any number of tiny things Joyce doesn't catch that must be tearing Max up inside. Joyce lets her stay and puts food on her plate and a comforting hand on her shoulder but none of it helps.

And four weeks after Billy died, Karen Wheeler walks into Melvalds General, her hair perfectly curled, a tiny, sad smile pulling at her lips when she spots Joyce in her employee vest. She's coming over, hands folded to her chest, freshly manicured nails sparkling, the picture of grace and sympathy, with her soft eyes and pouting lips. 

The whole routine has never rung so hollow before. Discomfort tugs at Joyce's insides, writhing in her guts. 

"Joyce," Karen calls, stepping delicately around the half-unpacked box of mouthwash on the ground. Stocking shelves has never been Joyce's favourite part of her job, but she'd rather keep doing that than have this conversation. Karen reaches out, grasping Joyce's elbow. "I'm so sorry. I should have come to see you sooner…I know you and Chief Hopper were close." 

Joyce shakes her hand off. "Sort of busy here, Karen. Work. You know how…it…" She pauses, and shrugs awkwardly, gesturing to the bare shelf behind her. "I'm in the middle of something."

That earns her a frown, a pitying look, sympathy to the point of condescension. "Did you take any time off? After…you know."

Like she can afford that. Jonathan's making less at his new job than he did working for the Post and she's got another mouth to feed now. Two if she's counting Max, which she might as well. 

Max, who's a ticking timebomb nowadays. A raw nerve trying to pretend she isn't. A shell of the vibrant girl Joyce met last November. 

Because her brother is gone, and it's Karen Wheeler's goddamn fault.

The itch returns with a vengeance. Crawling up her spine, a thousand tiny needlepoint fingers prodding her back. Her stomach feels like dropped jello, jittering fragments smashed on the ground. 

She hasn't been told, in so many words, what life in the Hargrove household was like—is like—but Max says just enough that Joyce can put the pieces together. It's not a pretty picture.

And Karen got to go back to her cushy little life, getting her nails done and making casseroles like there's nothing wrong in the world, like her children haven't been fighting monsters right under her nose for years. Doling out advice like she knows a single thing about what any of them have gone through. Walking around with her head in the clouds because she can still pretend she's living in a normal town with normal problems.

Something bitter an angry takes ahold, all spite and thorns and a gnarled lump in her throat. 

"What about you, Karen?" Joyce manages to keep her voice steady, calm on the surface and cold underneath. 

Karen blinks at her, tilting her head in confusion. "Me?"

"Well, you knew someone who died in the fire too." 

"I…a few of them, yeah." She folds her arms around herself. "It's a small town. But I didn't know any of them that well."

"No?" Joyce grits her teeth, venom sour on her tongue. "What about Billy Hargrove?"

He died saving Hop's daughter, and no one will ever know. As much as Joyce hates that everyone has an opinion about Hopper's death, she's starting to hate even more that Max will never once be told her brother was a hero.

Calling Karen out won't change anything, Joyce is just tired of being angry in secret. 

It's almost satisfying to watch the colour drain from her cheeks. Less so to see her eyes start to shine with tears. "He…taught Holly a lot. She used to be terrified of the water, you know." 

There's guilt colouring her grief. If Joyce didn't know to look for it she wouldn't have been able to tell, but it's there. It's also not enough. It's the vague regret of a woman carrying one tiny little secret, a woman who carries her past but isn't haunted by it. The rest of them have ghosts that following them every waking hour but Karen doesn't seem to be aware of hers. 

"I know what you were doing!" Her voice cracks this time, strains under the weight of everything she has to hold back. "Don't act dumb, I know you aren't," she snaps when Karen opens her mouth.  

"I—I didn't do anything—"

"Bullshit! Half the town saw you at the pool every day, drooling all over that boy, treating him like a piece of meat." That's all he was to anyone, wasn't he. Eye candy. Cannon fodder. A body for the Mind Flayer to take and use up. Joyce's eyes sting, and she jabs a finger into Karen's shoulder. "He was a child! How do you justify—"

"He was eighteen!"

"Exactly!" Joyce throws up her hands, the rage thrumming through her flares, all motion and energy and flushed cheeks. She doesn't care that her voice is getting shrill, her hands are shaking, Karen is glancing around the store nervously. "You took advantage of him, and you should have known better!"

"Joyce—Joyce, I swear I never—I have a husband for god's sake! I was just, I was just—he was just so nice, and, and I was lonely, but I never…" She breaks into tears, shoulders shaking, she presses a hand over her mouth when a sob tries to escape her. "It was a mistake," she says, voice wet and muffled by her palm. 

Joyce clenches her jaw, and grinds her teeth, swallowing some of the bile crawling up her throat. "It never should have happened in the first place. None of it." 

"I know."

"He was far too young for you."

"But—"

"A teenager, Karen! He was a teenager! In high school! He should have been worrying about zits and homework and goddamn prom, not middle aged women preying on him because they're trapped in failing marriages and trying to relive their youth." 

Karen's eyebrows shoot up, and she mouths wordlessly, tears still dripping down her cheeks. "That's…" she sputters. "At least I still have a husband." She winces as she says it, with an immediate look of regret.

"That's what you're going with? Really?"

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have…"

"I don't give a damn what you think of me and my life. And I'm not the one you owe an apology to." 

"I'm trying to do better, okay," Karen sighs, wiping her cheek with the back of her hand. She looks tired. "I'm working on my marriage. And the kids…things have been so strained lately, but…I'm trying. I really am. It's not like I ever made a habit of going around flirting with random men!"

"What about boys."

"No—listen, it wasn't like that! He was—"

"Oh please don't say 'mature for his age'."

"I'm sorry, ma'am, is there a problem here?" Joyce's manager appears around the corner of a shelf. She'd almost forgotten there are other people in the store, but suddenly she'll aware of every eye turned in their direction. The nosy old church lady in the next isle, peering through the stacks. The pair of teenagers gaping at them from over by the watch display. 

It's not the first time she's been a spectacle, but it seems like Karen isn't as acclimatized. She pales, and her eyes go wide. "N—no," she pastes on an unconvincing smile.

"Joyce, that shelf is still bare."

"Yeah, yeah," she mutters, and mock-salutes. "On it."

Karen scurries out of the store, whispers following her the whole way out.

It doesn't feel like a victory. It might just make everything worse, who knows. There's petty satisfaction in seeing Karen embarrassed, but Joyce is sure she didn't get through to her, not really. She doesn't understand the depth of her mistake, and she probably never will. 

Joyce scratches the back of her neck. And gets back to work.

**

A week later Steve Harrington shows up on her doorstep with Billy Hargrove, bloody, bruised, and half conscious, plastered to his side. 

"I didn't know where else to go," he says all in a panicked rush. He wipes his forearm across his face and leaves a smudge of dirt over one eyebrow. Billy blinks at her, bleary, unfocused, seemingly unaware of Steve's vice grip on his waist, and the tiny, gentle stroke of his thumb against the arm he's swung firmly over his shoulders. 

Joyce's heart is in her mouth. She swallows, and tries to stay calm. There's an open, anxious plea all over Steve's face and she needs to get him through this somehow. 

"You did good, honey, bring him inside."

Will's asleep, and Jon is at work, but the door of her bedroom creaks and Jane pops her head out as Steve is hauling Billy into the living room. 

She goes wide-eyed. Then teary. "Max," she says after a beat, and slips back into Joyce's room, presumably to make a phone call. 

"You stay with him, okay?" Joyce pats Steve's shoulder. He's tense. Joyce wonders where exactly he found Billy, and what he had to do to get him here. 

Steve nods jerkily, an perches on the coffee table across from the couch he laid Billy down on, bouncing his leg. Staring. Flexing his fingers over and over again, fists pressed to his thighs.

There's something there and Joyce doesn't have time to unpack it.

She grabs a bowl from the kitchen. Fills it with warm water. Watches the water swirl, splash, droplets clinging to the plastic sides. Her vision is a little fuzzy. She's a little light-headed. 

Billy is alive. 

Somehow.

It's odd, seeing him in person again. He used to scare her. She can vaguely remember it. What it was like before. When he was an unknown, a new kid projecting danger as far as he could. It's like seeing behind an optical illusion. Figuring out how a magic trick works. Realizing that he was just a moth with a flashy pattern, hoping not to get eaten. 

But wherever he's been, he's lost weight, lost that mask he used to wear everywhere. He's cracked open and bleeding on her couch, looking every bit the scared kid he always was. 

Her heart aches.

Steve hastily folds his arms across his chest when she walks back into the room, a first aid kit tucked under her arm and a clean cloth floating in her bowl of water. 

"Is he doing alright?" Joyce asks softly, glancing between the two of them. Billy startles at the sound of her voice, and Steve folds his lips between his teeth, looking pained.

"He…um." He doesn't even glance in Joyce's direction. Not for a second. She was under the impression these two weren't friends, but maybe she was wrong. "I'm not sure."

"Okay." She plonks the bowl down next to Steve, and sits on the couch, keeping a careful distance between her and Billy. He's shaking like a leaf and she doesn't want to spook him even more. "Help me get him cleaned up a little? It'll be easier to tell if he needs medical attention."

God, she needs a cigarette. Her nerves are fried and it's taking everything she's got not to just collapse right now. She's been awake for nineteen hours and the real estate agent that was supposed to contact her today flaked, and none of that even matters right now because she just wants to do something stupid like wrap both these boys up in soft blankets and mother the hell out of them.

Steve takes the cloth, pinching it between two fingers and eyeing it like it's a bug crawling in his lunch. His movements are stilted, unsure, but Billy lets him wipe the mud from his face without incident while Joyce roots through her kit. She keeps it better stocked than she used to. And thank god for that. 

Though Billy's injuries don't seem too severe, Joyce notes as Steve continues to clean him up. The way he's moving his hands might mean trouble, he winced his way through Steve's ministrations and now he's keeping them curled in his lap, stiff and shaky, bruises darkening his knuckles. But other than that they seem to mostly uncover scars. 

"I, um. This water is…" Steve gestures at the bowl of murky water. His gaze flicks over Billy, jumping from his hands to his eyes to the scars crisscrossing out from under his shirt. He jumps up, suddenly, water sloshing onto the carpet as he picks up the bowl. "I'll be right back," he announces, voice high and strained.

Joyce blinks at his retreating back. Then turns to Billy, whose gaze is lingering on the doorway Steve disappeared through. "So, you two are close, huh?"

He startles, and recoils, and shakes his head. "Not really." His voice is croaky, low and dry. She should've gotten him water to drink too.

He's fidgeting, anxious, unable to meet her eye, like a kid caught doing something they shouldn't. 

"Well, he seems to care about you." 

She doesn't expect the tears that well up in his eyes, spilling over without warning. He ducks his head like he's trying to hide it, but she's already seen. And there's no hiding the way his shoulders shake as he tries to steady his breathing. 

Her heart breaks for him. Like it has been, again and again, for weeks now. 

"Oh, honey," she says quietly, sadly, and he finally looks up at her, eyes shiny, cheeks wet. They look nothing alike, not really, but she's struck by an image of Will, three years old and bawling his eyes out over a chipped ashtray. The same feeling wells up in her chest, the same overpowering need to scoop him up in her arms and keep him away from anything that's ever hurt him. 

She slides over and pulls him into a hug. 

"You're okay now, it's okay." 

He's tense, and trembling, and she thinks maybe she did the wrong thing here, but then he shatters, with a tiny, wounded noise, collapses against her, tucked into the crook of her neck like Jonathan used to when he was having trouble sleeping and she'd have to carry him for hours while he dozed. 

He's okay. She'll make sure of it.

~tag list @spreckle @growup-thatbeautiful @prettyboy-like-you @suddenlyinlove

[safarigirlsp]

These asks are fun! I can’t wait to see what stories you have in the works 🖤

🍒What genres/tropes do you find yourself using most often?

🥝Who are your literary influences, and have they shaped your own writing?

🥕What's your favorite fic you've written, and why?

🍔What's a headcanon that hasn't made it into a published fic yet?

Thank you for sending this! It's like most of the gang's all back! Let's keep this craziness going for a while!

🍒What genres/tropes do you find yourself using most often?

My two favorite genres to write, as if it isn't obvious xD, Are adventure and Horror. For tropes, if these are tropes, I love Bitchy Banter, Strong Women Kicking Ass, Men Having a #BadTime, and Manly Men Doing Manly Things. I really can't get enough and although I should probably branch out more, I just love these so much I want to wallow in them over and over xD.

🥝Who are your literary influences, and have they shaped your own writing?

In terms of classics, I love Jane Austen and her banter and color, Alexandre Dumas for adventure and his epic thematics and penchant for revenge, and Poe for all things lovely, dark, and vibey.

For modern writers, my all time favorite is Wilbur Smith and honestly, if I could write like him, I would love it. That's my goal in life, truly. I'm enjoying Evie Dunmore at present. Crichton and Preston/Child are also favorites.

🥕What's your favorite fic you've written, and why?

Oh no. This is always impossible for me xD.

For Jacques: Wargrave Hall (This is truly almost finished. Sorry for the wait!). Here There Be Monsters

For Mills: Maneater. I need to write more for him!

For Flip: The Case of the Colorado Cannibal. The Devil Went Down to Dodge City.

For Kylo: Kylo the Malevolent co-written with the wonderful @babbushka

🍔What's a headcanon that hasn't made it into a published fic yet?

Flip is truly god awful in the kitchen. He has been almost permanently banned, with a few narrow exceptions. He does quite a good job at pancakes. The nickname 'Flip' comes from him flipping pancakes like a show off as a young fool and splattering himself with grease, thereby getting a round pockmark looking scar on his chest that he likes to lead people to believe is a bullet wound.

However, he is allowed to have a grill. Outside. Where the risk of burning the house down drops from extreme to moderate. He can grill steaks like a bad ass. He deadpans that it's part of some primal male instinct that involves bloodlust and hunting and fire. Or some horseshit along those lines. His culinary skills begin and end at grilling meats. Occasionally, he can add cheese to a burger without incident, but he knows better than to venture further out than that. It can't be denied that his steaks and burgers are to die for. Or as he puts to you when it's just the two of you, they're good enough to orgasm for, and he will make sure you do. When he really wants to wine and dine you, he will cook in just his jeans with his tits out for your viewing pleasure. When he's feeling funny, he will wear a frilly apron over his jeans and bare chest and let you laugh at him.

In my canon, Nicholas Mills is an ex fighter pilot. He was a bad boy growing up, the rebellious sort who wouldn't cut his hair or go to church or respect authority simply because it was authority. This disagreement came to blows several times with his father. Mills never struck the old man back, but it was sufficient provocation that he could restrain his father even with a broken nose to ship him off to the military to get his ass straightened out. Mills hated it, every second. He wasn't suited to the authority and the rules. But all that stayed on the ground when he took off in a jet. The freedom he felt from the first time he climbed into the cockpit was euphoric. He put up with the rules and the authority and the bullshit, even the horrible haircut, just so he could feel that freedom, chase the high that only came with flying.

After leaving the military and a nasty divorce after that, Mills was thoroughly sick of rules and regulations and authority and fucking people in general. He was smart enough to keep a separate bank account and stash away enough money to buy a plane of his own. You could say Mills skipped town. Skipped the country actually. All the way to Northern British Columbia. Someplace he can be left alone and unbothered, living the life he wants. He makes a surprisingly good living as a bush pilot, running supplies out to folks even more remote than him and flying out sportsman and outdoorsmen into the wilderness, and the occasional rescue job.

Never in a million years did Mills expect to meet a knockout like you out on one of these runs, his dream girl. And now, he's the only man who has a chance in hell of getting you both out of the wilderness alive.

I may have a fic like this in the works...

Jacques is an avid reader. He's educated and quite an intellectual, although he likes to downplay that arrow in his quiver. It pays to be underestimated. He enjoys poetry most of all and he's more of a sucker for flowery prose and romantic ideation than he openly admits. When he gets caught, he blames his interest in poetry as a necessary skill developed to get under women's skirts.

Once he's close enough to let his guard down, he will reveal his favorites and tell you how you've been in every line he's ever read. He loves to read to you. In the beginning, this was a way to seduce you into bed. It has since become his way to lull you to sleep when you're already in bed or to help you unwind while sprawled out by the fire.

He will read your favorite books with you or begin a new one together that you chose just to share the experience with you. It goes without saying that whenever you get inspired by a particular scene, Jacques is not only happy but eager and enthusiastic to act it out with you. He will invariably put the male characters to shame.

[some-pers0n]

i watched emesis blue, very good, please ramble about it to me

You watched it??? That's so cool!! I'm so glad I was able to infect you and harass you into watching it by reblogging every single thing even tangentially related to it.

So, for the rambling part. Yeah. I'll probably just say first and foremost that Emesis Blue is probably my favourite thing to come out of this fandom. I can barely even begin to describe my love for this movie. It's something I wish goes down not just in TF2 history, but fandom in general as an example of how great fan content can be. It takes the mercs and throws them into a situation that I can only describe as 'nightmarish'.

That's another thing too. I remember once seeing a person describe the movie as a nightmare. I can't honestly think of a better description. It radiates this nonstop uneasiness and dread. No joke, the entire time I watched it I had this constant feeling of pressure in my chest. Even just thinking about Emesis Blue or the scenes in it brings it back. It's harder to breathe and I'm more alert.

I'm a horror enjoyer. I love horror. I've consumed a lot of horror.

Never has a piece of media created a feeling like that for me. The only thing that comes close is 'The Descent', which uses a similar tactic of darkness and constant dread.

But, if I go on more, I'll dip into spoiler territory. I cannot say it enough that watching this movie blind is the best experience. So, yeah. If by some means you haven't watched Emesis Blue, please do it. I know it's a horror movie and not a lot of people are into those, but I can't stress just how good it is. Please. It's free. You can watch it right now on YouYube.

Also, quick note. I was rewatching the movie while writing this and found your comment. Epic. My thoughts exactly as well.

So, let's start with me admitting something: I have not a single idea as to what's happening. I need a hour long story breakdown of this movie.

But, I can try to piece things together. In order to lay the groundwork. I could be wrong about several things, but this is how I think it goes.

Helix Technologies created the respawn machine. Jules Archibald sold it to both Redmond and Blutarch to play both sides of the war. However, the respawn machine is pretty bad and has the tendency to breakdown and cause the person it resurrects to come out...well, broken.

Scout (Jeremy) was one of these victims. The Medic (Fritz Ludwig) helps him out and around, even prescribing him these pills called 'Valium' (spoiler: they're actually the evil bad pills made by a sister company of Helix Technologies).

Medic is...not doing so hot, might I add. Because of some event, he's been prescribing himself the Valium. Though, he's haunted by hallucinations and whatnot. There's a theory that Medic was the one who killed Scout's mother, linking how the movie on the TV, 'M', is about a German murderer and how the director of the film's first name is 'Frtiz'.

Being honest? I thought from the start that Medic being the killer was a possibility, but refused to believe it if only because I thought it was obvious. M = Medic was my train of thought.

Anywho, something happens to Scout and Medic tosses himself into danger to try and save him.

Meanwhile, Soldier (Jane Doe) and Spy are on a mission to find Archibald since he's been kidnapped. Actually, the ploy was to have Archibald be faked kidnapped so that he wouldn't suffer the consequences from how the respawn machine is terrible, but we don't know that yet. They investigate the crime scene of Scout's mother and are led to Medic's office, where they eventually learn they need to go to the Conaghers.

Blah blah blah, the movie happens. Medic is having a bad time. Soldier meets up with the RED Demo (Cyclops as he's called here) and Spy has a funny little run-in with a Pyro and gets horribly burned in the process of escaping them. They all eventually meet up again after suffering through unprecedented amounts of horrific shit and play a nice round of Russian Roulette. Medic dies. Oh and also Archibald is dead because Spy figured out the ruse behind his plan.

They host a funeral for Archibald and Soldier is about to kill himself and the others with a grenade before Medic pops out and shoots Spy. He then goes on a wacky little killing spree and hops into an ambulance before then falling asleep at the wheel and crashing it, dying in the process.

What a silly story. I love it to bits.

Now with that out of the way, I wanna talk about some stuff that stands out to me.

Soldier's character is probably one of the best versions of him I've seen. He keeps that same 'Soldier TF2' charm to him, but he's brave. He's loyal. He stands by his friends in this hellish situation, never backing down or giving up. I also adore the flashback scene of him. The atmosphere of the war and trenches–

CAN I TALK ABOUT THE ATMOSPHERE TOO?? My GOD it's pristine!! The cinematography and the lighting and everything about it oozes with dread and fear. There are only a couple jumpscares in the movie, but by god I find the constant terror to be far more compelling. It's suffocating with how well its done.

The emotions and expressions too. One scene that's always been in my mind is the elevator scene. We see Medic cycle through his emotions. He's sobbing because Scout is dead and now he's stuck here. Then after being offered a cigarette, he perks up and starts laughing. It's haunting. I remember the chill that ran down my spine the first time I watched that scene. And minutes later with Medic pointing the gun to his head, about to kill himself, before putting it down and lashing out at his reflection.

Medic and his character in Emesis Blue is like my good ol' Medic TF2 blorbo, but in an opposite direction. Emesis Blue Medic is a husk of a man, his very soul and sanity being ripped from him a long while ago. He's not doing so well. I adore every single scene with him. You can see all of his fears and and emotions so clearly.

Have I also mentioned this is animated in SFM? Yeah, THAT nightmare of an animation software? I can't even begin to comprehend the amount of bugs and glitches Fortress Films had to endure. How many times entire scenes were corrupted and they had to restart. Just even knowing how much care and work the team put into this movie makes me respect it so much more. This is truly a work of passion and love for the game and its community, delivering something that's beyond words.

The sound design is another aspect I don't see really talked about. It's really good. Take the scene in Scout's home for example, with the TV playing and the droning from the phone. It's haunting.

It's just an incredible movie. It's why I think psychological horror is the best form of horror. It relies less on big scary monsters with sharp claws and axes being the main source of fear. Rather, it focuses on when those monsters will show up. It grips you with dread and refuses to let go. It never gives you that relief that comes with a jumpscare. The startling, yet comforting release never happens.

Emesis Blue also succeeds in a way that none of the characters make dumb choices. They do everything right, yet they still fail in the end. I feel that makes it more terrifying. When you do everything correctly, but it doesn't work out. It makes the situation all the more helpless. All of this mistakes happen at their own hubris, like with Spy trying to take a break by smoking a cigarette and ends up nearly burning to death.

I also love how it doesn't answer a lot of questions. Leaving the audience with a mystery and the ability to theorize on stuff is lovely. What is the masked figure? Why are there seemingly elements of time distortion? How much is a hallucination and how much of it is real? All those sort of things.

But, yeah. I love Emesis Blue. I love it a lot. It's not just a TF2 animation. It's a genuine horror movie. I've seen multi-million dollar Hollywood movies that pale in comparison to this. It shows that talent and storytelling can come from anywhere and could be simply amazing. The fact that I can watch this on YouTube for free feels off. I feel like I should be paying Fortress Films or giving them something for their work.

But, I guess praise and a couple fanfics is good enough. Very rarely does a work move me enough to actually make fanworks. I get ideas, but never write them down.

So, those are my bigger thoughts on it. I'll just list a couple more.

-I refuse to believe that Scout's name isn't a reference to Jerma985. His name on the report is 'Jeremy. E', like Jeremy Elbertson

-When I was first watching through it, my stupid god-forsaken Science Party-obsessed brain thought: "Ooh! Medic and Engie are together! :D" when Medic came into the Conaghers. Then then they started fighting it turned into: "Oh no, they're going to kill each other D:"

-The scene of Soldier trying to get through the countless corpses of himself feels like something out of a cosmic horror and I love it

-I think this movie made me understand Freedom Fries more

-Cyclops's death ruined me RIP my buddy

-That weird Scout monster thing was terrifying

-I am obsessed with Stalingrad and the other resurrected mercs. They're so cool

-Emesis Blue is a great example as to why 2Fort is a horrific map

-That scene of Medic with gouged-out eyes and chipped teeth smiling and staring at the camera makes my blood run cold every single time. I cannot overstate just how much I love that scene

-They gave Demo a pistol finally I'm so happy <3

-I am a massive sucker for Pyro headcanons where they're justed a fucked up and inhuman monster and Emesis Blue scratched that itch. Following up on that, I love how Pyro's face is the same as that one Half-Life 2 zombie model. You know the one. The one that's of a genuine real burn corpse? Good times

-When Spy got burned, I genuinely thought that he would eventually become the Pyro through some weird time distortion shenanigans. I still believe in that theory too, honestly

-I actually really like how it uses the TF2 characters since you're already familiar with them and my intense love for them makes me care about them a thousand times more

-People who complain about the movie tossing in references have no idea what fun or thematic parallels are

-Medic spitting out his teeth in the end could either be a reference to Scout's nightmare at the beginning or to how Medic's teeth are literally falling out in real time. Maybe both. It could be both

-What in gods name is in that briefcase I need to know

[masschase]

M-A-T-T-M-I-L-L-E-R

I finally commissioned @whoredmode 😊

There was a stunned silence, his eyes searching her as if he was still trying to process. She gave him a hopeful smile. God, if he somehow rejected her after all of this, she was going to run straight into the simulation and shoot everything up for a month.

I just can't stop staring at it. This is exactly how I pictured this moment in my head. Amazing job, thank you so much Ted.

Full context and excerpt below. But TLDR... Casey decided to give an a more accurate answer to Matt and Shaundi's questions at the start of GOOH.

To set the context, after the whole Matt-getting-shot-love confession thing(I wrote about that in an ask answer here), Asha appears in 2016 after Casey in 2022 remembers and sends her(though not before having to be physically restrained from going to rescue him herself and risking erasure from existence), and manages to jump Matt back to the ship in time for the Zin to treat him.

They put him in a medically induced coma which is supposed to last up to 48 hours but ends up roughly double that as Zin estimates for that kind of thing tend to be off. But (once she's gone after the perpetrator, who unfortunately gets away for now due to her heel snapping at an inoppurtune moment) she barely leaves his side until he wakes.

When he does though, after they talk for a while she asks if they want to go back to "what we were doin' in 2016" and he looks like he's struggling with it but turns her down, saying he can't go through that again and that their friendship is too important to him. This throws her. She's crushed and leaves in rather a hurry.

When she relays this conversation later, Asha points out she made it sound like she was interested in another "sex only" arrangement, and that if she really wants to be with Matt she's going to have to make a very clear statement that she's looking for an actual relationship. Possibly even be romantic. Johnny, having talked to Matt after Casey did, is pretty mad at her for not just telling him how she feels when she knows he loves her.

Jane helps her talk through things and when she admits that she's not surw which version of her Matt's love confession relates to, even though she knows it makes no sense for it to be the younger her. She told Jane her feelings for Matt must have started to develop since she came back from hell; with her making Matt her lieutenant and the two of them spending more time together. Jane tells her she believes Matt has had some form of attachment to her since at least that time, because of the question he asked the Ouija board at Kinzie's party.

From that comes her idea. That, and the candles she happened to think he looked so beautiful in two weeks ago when they were cuddled up together during a powercut. She also makes pecan pie because she found out in 2016 it was his favorite, and it's the only thing she can cook, and sets Last Dance to come on at precisely 8pm. She is throwing everything at the wall here.

So it's no surprise that around 7.45, Ms. "I-don't-get-nervous" finds herself waiting by the couch they spend every Friday night on, growing incredibly nervous.

God she hoped he was going to show up. He’d better fucking show up. She shouldn’t have come down here so early. She was fucking pacing. Maybe she should’ve worn something sexy, not her usual spacesuit. Maybe she should have gotten some booze to loosen them both up first. She couldn’t do this. No, she could. She had to. Ugh it was all stupid. No it wasn’t. He’d love it. He’d turn her down again. FUCK. She took a second to try and stop overthinking and just breathe. When she opened her eyes, he was just coming around the corner, hands awkwardly tucked behind his back much as hers were. “Hey!” she greeted. “Alright?” he replied, smiling, then stopped in his tracks. “Bloody hell, that’s a lot of candles.” She nodded. “Yeah, kinda.” She had dotted them all around the couch. At least three times as many as when they’d cuddled up together there two weeks ago. Thank god they were flameless; she could barely be trusted with fire inside the simulation, let alone outside of it. Looking around her reminded her she had gone too far to turn back. Looking at his beautiful face in the candlelight reminded her that she didn’t want to. “Are we... expecting another power cut?” “Uh... no... uh... hey, are you... feeling ok?” she checked. “Should you be standing?” “Actually it feels nice to stand for a sec. And the Zin physio is fantastic.” “Lucky you.” she commented, remembering her own unpleasant post-coma recovery. “Oh I... I didn’t mean to be insensitive.” “No... it’s OK...”. She smiled. “I’m... I’m glad they were able to fix you up so fast.” “Yeah.” he said, sounding unusually awkward. “I um... I didn’t see you at dinner.” “Oh...” she replied. “Yeah.”. It was true, she'd been so preoccupied by what she was doing that she hadn't eaten since Shaundi had brought her lunch to Matt’s bedside. Actually she’d barely eaten anything for the past few days. “It’s OK.” “Oh... well... I um... I got you something.” She looked at him, intrigued. He was kind of making her more nervous here by making him wait but she’d be damned if she ruined it. He smiled and pulled out a Freckle Bitch’s bag. “You don’t have to share if you don’t want to, though.” “Matty, that’s so sweet!” she exclaimed, a smile lighting up her own face too. “You’re... you’re always so nice to me.” “And um...” he said awkwardly. “I... wanted to thank you for... everything you've done and you said no-one had ever really bought you flowers before so um...” he pulled out a small bouquet of white roses. “They um... reminded me of your hair and...” he glanced down at them. “I don’t know.” He’d bought her food and flowers. The most ridiculous grin spread over her face. It took all her strength not to run across the room and kiss him. But she was in the middle of something, so instead she lingered awkwardly. “So, Nyte Blayde?” he checked, taking a step towards her. “I’m guessing you only watched one last week so we’re on-“ “One second.” she blurted out, interrupting him and halting his advance across the room. He frowned ever so slightly. “Everything alright?” “Yeah, I uh... just want to talk to you about somethin’.” “Oh... ok?” “Uh...” she gave him a nervous smile. “Matty, you uh... you remember that Ouija board you brought to Kinzie's party?” she asked gently. “Um... the one that led to you being dragged into a massive portal into Hell?” he replied, grimacing. “Hard to forget something like that.” “Yeah... that one.” she confirmed. “Do you remember... how all that shit happened?” “Um... I think so...”. He stared at her, obviously trying to work out her intentions. “Are you about to finally make me take the blame?” She laughed a little. “No. Just wondering if you still remember what you asked it.” “Oh... um... yeah.” he said, looking confused. “I asked um... “Will the President slash God-Emperor-for-life, ever choose a partner to reign alongside them?””

She hesitated. Was she really going to do this? This was fucking lame. But she'd made the damn thing now. She pulled out the shitty fake Ouija board she’d drawn on a piece of card, and the bracelet Johnny had leant her. She held it up for him to read, and slid the bracelet to ‘Yes.’. His face turned from slight confusion to utter bemusement. “And then you said...”. She rolled her eyes as she continued, imitating his sing-song tone. “Someone’s gettin' married!” “Right.” he laughed, looking embarrassed. “And you said “Shut up Matt.”” “Can you blame me?” she asked with a smile. And then uh... Shaundi said... uh...” They both paused for a second, thinking. “She asked it... um...” Matt said nervously, then looked her straight in the eyes. “Who will... tame the Emperor’s... wild heart?” She paused, staring back at him. She angled the board a little so she could see what she was doing, and slid the bracelet across it to spell “M-A-T-T-M-I-L-L-E-R.”. There was a stunned silence, his eyes searching her as if he was still trying to process. She gave him a hopeful smile. God, if he somehow rejected her after all of this, she was going to run straight into the simulation and shoot everything up for a month. “I just want to check this means... what I think it means?” he asked, sounding apprehensive. “I wanna be with you, Matt. More than anything.” she admitted. “If you want somethin’... like... a real... relationship... y’know... whatever that... would be...” she added in a mumble. He seemed to freeze up completely at that, his eyes wide, his mouth a little open. She wanted to beg him to say something, anything, but the silence forced her to continue. “And look... I uh...” she sighed. “I'm never gonna be able to give you the romance you deserve because I’m shit at talkin’ about my feelings and... I know I’m thirty-one now, and I’m kinda an asshole, and I’m sure not as cool as I used to be but y’know, I really think-“ She was interrupted as he walked straight up to her, threw his arms around her and kissed her passionately, dropping both the bag and the roses onto the couch behind her. She brought both arms up around his neck as she returned the kiss, the badly homemade Ouija board crumpling and falling and the bracelet clattering to the floor. It had been so long since she’d felt him kiss her like this. Like he fucking adored her.

(Which is the moment I drew here.)

Thanks to some creative use of Casey's obsession with Jane Austen on Matt's part, she was able to overcome her issues and confess her love for him that night, too.

Of course, the Freckle Bitch's was ruined after being dropped so suddenly, and the roses got left on the couch overnight.

But unsurprisingly, neither of them gave a shit about that.

[kiissme]

@racylove with JANE && WALLACE

Slowly, she descended down the stairs and immediately the noise, sounds and music of the place greeted her. Almost like a new friend — a strong sense of unfamiliarity but with a twinge of a feeling the unfamiliar would fade away, and with that, a new friendship to bloom. It was Jane's first time here, at the exclusive club where all sorts of rich, influential people, celebrities knew of and frequented. Purely by chance she snagged an invite to tonight's event. Running interference for a patron, a woman with her side piece, her lover, just as her husband with his side piece had just came into the dive bar she worked at. It was all, very soap opera but thankfully no drinks were flung, thanks to Jane, and she was rewarded. The aspiring singer put on her best dress, worked on her hair tirelessly as well as her makeup. She had one shot at this, to make connections, to pass around her demo. She had to be Jane Bardot, the next big thing. Even if it killed her... The leather jacket was checked in upstairs, making her feel a bit bare, almost vulnerable as she walked through the floor.

A smoke-filled haze all around her, making her nose tickle, almost wanting to sneeze. A part of her used to it, but another part quite not, the pressure of the night weighing down on her. Until she saw the bar — liquid courage, that's what she needed. Ankle boots marched toward there, though her eyes got distracted. Gaze across the room, towards a face she kind of recognized, but wasn't sure and in her time of trying to figure that out... She didn't see the man in front of her, drinks at hand, and her petite form made the misfortune of colliding head on to him, not only spilling drinks on him, but on Jane as well. The cold liquid hitting her chest and the front of her dress that she squealed and even let out a gasp. "Oh, fuck!" She was absolutely mortified. "Oh, shit, I'm so sorry!" Groaning as she looked between them, "Jesus, fucking.... God damn it, that's so... That's so fucking cliche that it's embarrassing. I can't believe I fucking did that. So.. So fucking lame, of all the fucking..." She had to laugh, shaking her head, "You don't understand — this is so fucking karma for the amount of times I've laughed at people doing this shit and now... God," she reached for any napkins that she could grab, helping him dry off, as well as dab against her chest. "I'm.... I can't fucking believe this. I... Let me repay those drinks? Again, so sorry, I'm... I'm not usually like this, sounds like bullshit, but I'm so much cooler than this... Um... I'm almost too embarrassed to give you my name, but, it's... yeah, it's Jane. I...so regret meeting you like this."

[crazyexdirkfriend]

Hello brainiac. Its me. Here to marvel and indulge in your wonderfully written thoughts again. Opinions on the Hope aspect, and, if you havent mentioned it before, what's your aspect/class?

Brainiac made me laugh out loud for a while there because funnily enough, I'm a sylph of light. Annoying know-it-all, fountain of useless knowledge, and loves telling people about it whether they want to know or not. I'm self aware about it though which is half the battle.

You did ask though so I'm home free! And thank u thank u I'm glad you enjoy my Thoughts. I do need to brush up on my classpect knowledege in general but my opinions on Hope as an aspect basically boil down to:

hope, synonyms: faith, belief. opposing rage on our jungian-esque wheel of aspects.

How this manifests is ultimately up to the class as well, whether it's active or passive, how the aspect is ultimately used by a person, or imposes upon a person. I won't pretend to know very much about Eridan or Cronus in general, but my opinions on *pages* basically run on 1. pages can't gain their full potential until they "hit rock bottom" or "lose their aspect." and 2. pages are, at their full potential, an extremely powerful class but 3. pages are generally not a very active class.

so Jake only *actively* uses hope when all hope is lost (Dirk about to die by Caliborn's hand) or is being passively puppeted as a weapon by aranea. Jake however, may *passively* be using hope without ever acknowledging it or actively engaging with it, hell while probably deliberately covering his ears and going lalala powers, what powers.

I think Jake passively using his powers relies on that synonym concept: faith and belief. because pages are one of the most powerful classes, I believe to a degree Jake can passively change reality based on what he believes or has faith in. People treat Jake worse when he's already beating himself up, even if they have to real reason to do so- but Jake believes they do.

(side note: it's my opinion that Hope doesn't work on Dirk in this way, as Dirk is defined-largely through the Heart aspect- as unmalleable, and universally consistent. Jake cannot change Dirk's reality, Jake can't change Dirk's Heart)

Active hope powers I believe rely a little on "inversion theory" (if I'm remembering the term correctly from someone else's meta). I don't recall what inversion theory as a strict concept is, but I believe active hope powers often manifest as rage. Eridan's hope powers sure seem (from what little I pay attention to them) to be fueled by rage. Jake's attack on Caliborn during the claymation is described as a "temper tantrum."

(I think Jake has an interesting relationship with rage, and what he is and isn't allowed be angry at and when he is and isn't allowed show anger. Most of his anger is directed at Hal, who he believes doesn't have feelings anyway and treats as a "proxy Dirk," because he presumably, by and large, can *not* blow up at Dirk. Or Jane, or Roxy)

Also, while "if you believe in something hard enough, it makes it just a little less fake," is very much a page thing, I think it's doubly a Hope thing. At least for a Page of Hope

(End note, I think the classes we get for hope in HS are so diverse (bard, prince, page) that it's hard to get a read on the aspect in action bc a page and a prince are hugely different in presentation. This is largely analysis from me, a turbo Jake fan and someone who skipped chunks of act 5 on my first read. I barely know who Eridan is. So take it with a pinch of salt!)

[mybloodyfamousprophets]

full disclaimer if you know me you aren't reading this. you don't know who this is about.

we were having fun, in the summer sun,

we were both in love but it wasn’t us,

you talked to her for months, i loved him once before, when i was still with him, i knew my heart for sure,

but i just tossed him away, you’re nowhere to be seen, reaching for my phone, cause think you’re calling me, but no!

Jane, where did you go? and whyd you feel i didn’t have to know? why jane are you running? oh i just wish you’d text or call or something, but you’re with her and you’re happier, and I’m without, mind is lost no doubt

back before the masks, we were skipping class, sophomores getting bored, we were moving fast,

i met you in the west, we saw a film and laughed, that old arcade was cash, comedy on snap,

give a knock out punch with your left fist, i know you could pin me down with the right kick,

i thought you were the right guy, had you on my mind, open eyes, for that hockey boy, brown hair blue eyed, we were walking in the snow when the dream died,

you looked me in the eye, said you didn’t like guys, i was about to cry, let you be, took a while to be fine, got you off of my mind, no one really cares if you lied, two years later saw you on the street "hey i'm bi", leave me stranded, seen, disappear with no goodbye, so

Jane, where did you go? and whyd you feel i didn’t have to know? and could i tell you something? i'm waiting for your call and hearing nothing, but i know you’re with her, you’re much happier and I’m getting lost, soul saved at what cost?

on a friday summer night, you and your girl were here, she was feeling sick cus she drank too many beers,

held her by the hand and walked her to the car, said you were her man and you'd never go too far,

your girlfriend headed home, you laid down in my room, you stayed and watched a film, viktor bout and his doom,

i think back to then, i made a good choice, i couldve had you then if i was a bad boy,

you laid by my side on my tight little bed, pillow so soft where you placed your head, under covers with me the lights are all red, no space for three, things i never said, if this was today i'd do something i regret, you can't lose it all and fuck up what's left, cling to a memory this won't happen now, you're happier with her and i'm barely here now

~

moonlit cinema filled my room in, your last excuse to be close to me, boring shows you sleep on my body, skin to skin your arms too touchy,

know that it's wrong but i knew you were longing, waited too long didnt see her coming, i still had my soul let your advances go, but if this happened today i wouldn't say no, least that night you wanted me, if i said i didn't too i'd be lying

but that night we made our partners go, you really wanted to be alone, trains not running so you stay the night, but that's not what i saw in your eyes,

i wonder what you would've done to me, four blue eyes sun in pisces, both taken but you weren't dating me, sexual tension wasn't make believe, can't trust instinct but i see what i see,

don't lie to me like lying men, like when you said you felt nothing then, that's not true, i know what i saw, play me more so the harder i'll fall, your touch is electric so give me a shock, staying the night i'll blow off your socks!

~

but let’s be off the books, i could your experiment, no record no CD, no CCTV,

no camera the second you kissed me, and now i write about what could've been, while you made out with her on halloween, and i was drunk at that house party, ex put his hands all over me, liqour just made me feel empty, hands on my body electrify me, but his touch defiled me,

~

so you walked out the door, but what if you didn't? stayed in the sheets, feelings i was missing, past self had a prophetic vision,

i wanna make mistakes tonight, while you're in this room you're mine, no one'd know of our love crimes, troubled feelings of delight,

and if you would've stayed the world could've changed right there, branded and labelled but no, i wouldn't care, i would run my hand through your jet black hair, and you'd touch my body everywhere, cause i know desire when i see it, fire behind your eyes you feel it, regret on your face i see it, inhibition had you reeling, we couldn't leave our boyfriends tearing, you decided you were leaving,

thought you were camping, your tent pitched, so hard, dreaming together but we're sleeping apart, you're on my couch, take your briefs off, you're breathing, breathe you in, im california dreaming,

i had a messy dream of what couldve been, a story time world where we both were free, free to feel your arm strong grip on me, and you know that touch is my life's meaning, and i know you like that warm feeling im giving you feel me, you lock eyes with me, you take your hands, you hold me now, lift up your shirt, i pin you down, i shift your gears, put you in drive, flip me around give you a ride, got enough diesel to last all night, going rounds 2, 3, 4, 5, no half truths just naked minds, know that you’ll never be mine

i got with him when you got with her, taste of that thought makes me bitter, a year and a half wasted on sinner, type he wanna cheat on me with the phone i gave him, i dont know why i stayed with him,

if i had no regrets then i would be lying, back to the start, the one i was eyeing, i noticed you first on the very first day, wish i told you what i really had to say, and you changed!

but you've only aged like a fine wine, too bad truly i can't make you mine, i know that you're happy and im not holding out, but if anything happened i'd give you my time cause you give a good hug, a good laugh, a good cry, i wish you were still just a friend of mine, i wont go low for a taken man but god you're a prize that i'd cheat to have, if you ever crop her out of your story, give me a shout and say that you’re sorry, thoughts of you, no habit of mine, one song for you, choke on every line, you don't talk to me now but i hold out some hope, want you close and if you came back my doors never closed, ring my phone pick up hello, meet you there i'm about to go,

feels a little wrong to write this verse, the words taste best when they hurt the worst, its on my mind and ive been thinking, mask it out by a little drinking, but why didn't i get to you first, stuck with him and it left me cursed, and i sure know you aren't perfect, but i'd try and make it worth it, doing all this pointless yearning, you're happy and i'm here burning, smoke fills up a cloud of desire, as i step in to your fire

[that-one-weeb-buts-its-the-main]

OMG PLEASE DO A PT 2, TO THE I DONT BELIEVE YOU ANYMORE- THAT WAS SO FREAKING GOOD- I CANT- OMG

I don't believe you

anymore .2 | Frank Castle

Reader: female | daughter reader

Type: Part 2 of this one shot

Warnings: kidnapping

Note: AYO Khonshu made a special appearance,

Masterlist: Marvel | The "Playlist"

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Is this what freedom feels like?

Does it feel so sad, feel like old ash, of an old building, burned to the ground, nothing more than an empty lot for the moment. Something to be built on top of you.

Frank looked at a lot of land, it was nothing more than a pile of black charred garbage. The only thing fencing off the area was the yellow police tape, along with the row of flowers and presents left in memory.

"Go ahead," A mother said, "be respectful careful of the candles."

The young boy smiled, a handmade card in hand and a teddy bear. He walked over setting them amongst the other gifts carefully.

Getting up and turning around he saw Frank standing there.

"Come on billy." His mother rushed as he followed her words, rushing back over to her.

"A shame..." a woman spoke, her friend beside her as they walked by, "I heard a little girl didn't make it out."

"really? Pour thing."

"It's even worse, she's a jane doe."

"Well, I hope she finds peace where ever she is."

How long ago was that? Years now? Frank had other problems, other people to deal with.

Just don't think about it, push it to the back of your head, don't think about it.

"Hey!"

Frank looked up, he was thinking about it again. "What?"

"You asked for some so I'm giving you some." Amy told the bowl of spaghetti held out for him."

"Yeah, thanks, kid," Frank spoke taking it from her.

She walked around the table in the small mobile home, tossed the book she hand under her arm on the table, and took a seat on the couch across from him.

"You readin' now?"

"Might as well do something while I sit here, alone," Amy spoke leaning back into the couch messing with her pasta.

He picked up the book, barely able to get through the cover's art before he tossed it back down. Ancient Egyptian gods.

He set down his bowl, "I'll be back."

"what? Can I come?" Amy questioned.

"Stay here," Frank ordered.

"What that's not fair! I've been stuck in here for a month! I want to come!" Amy argued.

"You're staying here, where you're safe," Frank demanded.

"Oh please." Amy rolled her eyes.

"Stay here. I'll be back." Frank demanded once grabbing his bag.

"Like I'm gonna believe that." Amy scoffed, settling back down in her seat.

Frank only left, god damn it. God damn it.

"Ivrina to Wes. Castles left the building."

Frank got in the van and left. Where was he going? He didn't know. He couldn't tell you even if you asked him. Maybe his car would just know where to go, where he needed to go.

There was a knock on the door, Amy got up; "Come back already Frank-"

She had opened the door without a care in the world. Yet it wasn't Frank.

"Ivrina to Wes, Snake's made contact."

The woman, maybe Amy's age, maybe a year older walked up the two steps. Was this woman really her age? She was intimidating, and strong by the looks of it.

Amy went to rush off and grab a gun but was stopped, the woman grabbing her hair and throwing her to the floor.

"He choose you over me, and You can't even fight!" she shouted, grabbing Amy by the hair and lifting her up to her feet, "Come on."

Amy was dragged by her hair out of the mobile home, shouting for the woman to let go, attempting to fight back, but was only kicked in the gut, where she doubled over in pain and was dragged along, a man opening the back of there van and Amy was thrown inside.

"Wes and Snake, we're out," Wes spoke into his earpiece, the two getting in the driver and passenger seats.

"Let me out of here!" Amy shouted.

We drove off, leaving the mobile home empty and barren.

It was a quiet drive back to their base, only briefly were there moments of talking: where they were located. Ivrina kept tabs on them: making sure they were clear as they drove.

"Whattaya want with the girl Snake?" Wes spoke.

"Let her go after 1 am" She spoke.

Wes nodded they pulled into a car lift and Irvina walked in behind the van, Snake got out of the car, and walked out of the lift.

"Oi! Where are you going!?" Ivrina argued.

"I got another call to make, keep shit running underground Wes, tell Khonshu I'll be back late, Ivrina you're with me."

Frank sat at the library, Y/n enjoyed going there often, what he was doing there he didn't know. He didn't read, well he did, but not often. not like Y/n did. She'd run down those steps, unable to carry all the books she had checked out with a smile.

"Whatcha learn today kid?"

Then she'd go on and on, there was always something new to learn from her. His phone started ringing, it was either Curtis or Amy.

Looking at the ID it was Amy. He sighed, picking it up, "Kid I don't want to hear it."

It was silent, only soft breathing on the other end, Snake on the other side of the phone as she and Irvina stood on a rooftop.

"Kid?" Frank asked again.

"Isn't it lovely?" Snake spoke, "Finally, all alone like you wanted."

"Who the fuck is this?" Frank demanded.

"Meet where the ash still lives." Snake demanded, "When Khonshu rules the world."

"You do anything to the kid I swear-"

Snake had already hung up, tossing the phone over the edge and into the water below.

"You ain't seriously goin back to that place?" Ivrina argued, "He ain't worth your time."

Snake looked back at her, "I'll handle it, You and Wes are in charge of the underground. Get to Khonshu and tell him."

Ivrina nodded, "Keep one under the moon."

Snake nodded, "So we may attack during the night."

They spilled on that rooftop. It wasn't far from where Snake wanted to end up.

That building is still gone, old police tape blocking off the area, old flowers and toys knocked over, broken glass from fallen candles.

She sat on the rooftop next to the empty lot, waiting, and waiting, and waiting.

Frank had probably gone back to that mobile home, probably called anyone he could to help find the kid, to pinpoint her location.

"You do this, and you are gone."

Snake laughed lightly under her breath, "I know."

"It will never be the same. He'll kill you either way."

Snake stood up, the moon would shine its brightest soon.

"I'm breaking our contract Khonshu." Snake spoke, "But as a friend, I ask you to watch me one last time."

She turned around and looked up at him, "And as someone who raised me, made this possible, I wish you a good life, and goodbye."

Khonshu was quiet as she looked up at him, "I wish you good luck Y/n."

Snake nodded, bowing her head in respect, "he is here."

She turned back around, Frank waking down the street, Snake walking over to the edge.

"Come out now!" Frank shouted, "You threaten the kid you threaten me!"

"Seems awfully familiar Castle!"

He whipped around quick, a rifle in hand, "You give me the kid now! And I make your death easy."

With ease Y/n made it down the fire escapes, landing in front of him.

He would've shot anyone by now.

Y/n walked forward, her bare feet against the dirty concrete, pressing the tip of the rifle into her chest, where her heart sat, not that it held anything.

"You want to know who you're shooting first?" Yn declared, pulling her hood down, god it was bad. "Not that you'd care."

Cuts along her face, with short hair, shaved in the back and on the sides, a Snake tattoo went up to her neck and to her face, her left face injured with old burns,

"And if you did I wouldn't believe you anyway."

It was silent between the two, the young woman in front of him held a look of betrayal, she looked hurt.

"Where's the kid." He growled out.

Y/n's face tightened, he didn't realize her?

"You're gonna have to kill me for it."