#i can't even lie

[doueverwonder]

people who draw the viking trio + Iceland with the cheesiest younger futhark tattoos >>>>>>>>>>>>

[wheredidalltheusersgo]

When you're trying to go on the cool zip line at the playground but some little kid just goes, "But he's too big for the zipline!!!!"

Like, Ok, Little Amelia. Do you want me to go throw myself in the lake this playground is located right next to? Huh?????

[dippedanddripped]

Omarion - I Can't Even Lie (Official Visualizer)

[innightfall]

in nightfall sypnosis for those who care

[mythicalcoolkid]

You don't wish your disability was worse or more visible, you wish your disability was taken seriously. Please stop confusing the two, I guarantee you would not get the support you need JUST by being more severe or more visible. Please listen to visibly disabled people when we tell you it isn't better on our side

[is-this-even-relatable]

Misfortune Teller

tldr: An older Danny, apprentice to Clockwork, does a lot of field work across dimensions, resetting the timeline, queuing future events, and who knows what else. Occasionally, he warns people about such upcoming possibilities, to set them on the right path. How, you might ask? Well in this case... as a wandering fortune teller.

Crack-fic (oh god, it's getting long and my logic brain won't let it remain as crack) where Danny becomes Clockwork's apprentice after getting his GED. Living his infinite afterlife to the fullest. Inspired by this tumblr post.

-----------------------------------------------------

Working for Clockwork had been... interesting so far. At first, Danny got frustrated by how vague and cryptic Clockwork was. He'd just shunt Danny off to some ancient time with a few words, his own time medallion (Danny carried it everywhere with him now), and then pop back into the portal, leaving Danny with only the faintest idea of where to go.

Eventually, after enough time (ha!) spent around Clockwork, Danny figured out that it just basically meant that he had free reign and to do whatever he wanted. Because if he went on the wrong path, (like that one time in Pompeii when he had almost caused the volcano to explode a few years too early), Clockwork would just pop on by, say another few cryptic words, and then it'd all be fine and dandy, or as he liked to say, "All is as it should be... Now stop practicing your wail by an active volcano."

After telling Jazz about that (it was supposed to be funny, not concerning), she just sighed and shook her head, with a forlorn "think before you act, Danny!" but hey, it'd turned out fine so far, so who cares how he does what Clockwork asks him to do, as long as it gets done, right? Even if it's with a liiiiitle more mischief than strictly required.

Besides. Danny was the one who had been doing time shenanigans across millennia, not Jazz. And he thought he'd been getting pretty good at it too! He'd actually started giving himself a different made-up background for each universe he visited. Sam and Tucker were helping him keep up with the identities on a spreadsheet, so if he had to go back to one he'd already visited, he'd remember who he'd said he was supposed to be.

---

He was on a call with them one evening while haunting Jazz's apartment, doing just that, when he felt a familiar tingle in the back of his throat, as well as a heightened awareness of the seconds passing by, that always accompanied his mentor's appearance.

Sam was talking about his past stint posing as a god of death when he cut in. "Hey- sorry to interrupt, Sam- Clocky's here, guys, I gotta dip."

"Aw, come on! We hardly talked any this past week since you passed your certifications, man," Tucker complained.

Danny rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. "Yeah, yeah. Partly on you too though, you've been caught up outside of class, and Sam's schedule is nearly the opposite of yours."

Sam hummed in agreement despiter Tucker's scoff.

Danny missed hanging out with them as much as they had in high school, but hey, life goes on. Or at least, theirs did, to college. After finally flunking out of Casper High, he'd taken some time to get used to his responsibilities in the ghost zone, and when he had, he realized that he didn't really have much enthusiasm or timeleft for his human life.

And he didn't really want to go back home either.

But Jazz had made him tie up any loose ends before he noped-off to god knows where, which frankly, he had to thank her for. Getting his GED took a few years, but it was an accomplishment that could be attributed to Danny Fenton, no ghostliness required. Then he was able to let that tether go free.

Pulled out of his musings by a few more grumbles from Tucker, Danny said his goodbyes, promising to call the next time they were all available.

After hanging up, Danny swiveled around, anticipation already lighting up his eyes an ethereal green.

Clockwork, for his part, had been waiting patiently through Danny's lengthy goodbyes. Although he supposed that it tracked for the watcher of time to be patient. With his job, it'd be a nightmare if he wasn't.

"Phantom," Clockwork spoke, calm as always. "I have some tasks I need you to complete as my apprentice."

And Danny, always ready for adventure, didn't need him to explain any further. "Sure! When do you need me to be?"

Clockwork smiled at that. "I am fortunate you are eager. Follow me."

---

Danny popped into existence in this universe with a burst of cold air and static electricity. He found himself hovering by a clocktower above a sprawling, gothic city. Smog and light pollution obscured the stars above him, to his disappointment. He comforted himself with the fact that he'd probably have all the time he wanted to fly someplace less populated to see them later.

He started off by familiarizing himself with the city. As he flew, he followed the trail of power and met the resident city-spirit, a spooky- but kind underneath- woman draped in black lace, who told him her name was Gotham. He spoke in length with her about this universe, its heroes, and her knights. On that, she was very enthusiastic... or at least Danny thought she was, her projected emotions belaying much more than her gloomy exterior. She told him how her knights had been through a lot and would need some guidance fighting the darkness that pooled in her deepest corners, smiling with too much glee, filling lungs with fear, and terrorizing with cold hard bullets.

Danny could sense that the dangers she spoke of were growing in power, ever slowly. The longer they shadowed people's minds and hearts, an intangible thing grew that lent them more otherworldly pull than their physical forms had right to hold.

That must be what he was sent here for.

But... they were weak, pitifully so for him, infinite king as he was. And besides, he wasn't here in that sense. He was a messenger, a simple apprentice. And he could do this however he wanted.

Cue his talk with Lady Gotham, and subsequent idea to arm her knights. With what? Well, he figured knowledge would be a start. Flying high above the city invisibly, Danny noticed a sea of colors and lights by what appeared to be the city's pier. He flew down, noting that it appeared to be the setup spot for a travelling circus or carnival of some kind.

He considered what to do. One of Lady Gotham's troubles was a madman clown, right? Well maybe he'd be attracted to his ilk here... and with the danger came the knights. Maybe he could catch one of them here?

Danny was floating around at the entrance and beginning to formulate a plan when a flyer caught his eye. Looking for a mystic to read fortunes. URGENT!

Hadn't Clockwork said something about fortunes? And he hadn't made an identity in this universe yet...

A mischievous smile crept across Danny's face, splitting it in two with far too many teeth.

---

Half a city away, a man in all black, perched on the very same clocktower that Phantom had Appeared by, shivered as he felt an ominous premonition about his sanity in the near future...

Said man quickly opened his comms to check in with his many, many kids. Yet even after hearing back from each, he still felt apprehensive.

Somewhere even further, Clockwork laughed.

---

And that's how Danny found himself seated at a fortune teller's booth at a pier in Gotham, two days later, for the Tricksy Traveling Circus's grand opening.

[cistematicchaos]

Can’t believe I’m listening to an album by one of the actors of  Evan Hansen (yes from Dear Evan Hansen) and enjoying the fuck out of it 💀

[mirrorhouse]

I have what you're looking for. High quality. Befitting a man of my tastes. I have a room over on Divisadero, not too far a walk.

[charcubed]

Challengers throuple: as told via memes

specific choices were made

they're all in love/lust/obsession with each other and they don't work without all of them being together btw.

[doueverwonder]

welcome to the Hetalia fandom where we all watched the anime 1 time went 'well that's neat!' then never watched it again cause it's so cringe

[sysig]

Blind side (Patreon)

[homielander]

shiv's motivations for voting to pass the gojo deal are so layered and i don't think they should be dismissed in favour of any one interpretation. shiv desperately grabbed on to a lifeline for her relationship with tom. shiv was the deciding vote and she couldn't bear to hold the crown only for a moment just to place it atop her brother's head. shiv knew she would have more influence as wife of CEO rather than sister of CEO. shiv absolutely hated seeing kendall crystallize into logan before her eyes, especially when he made roman bleed ("and if we did kill him we get to go to bed") -- succession has always been about siblings so of course she tried to free her brothers before her child. shiv still thinks she can raise her child with all the material benefits of being the daughter of waystar CEO while doing better by her, whatever that means. and all of those things are true

[cerise-on-top]

hello lovie! would it be possible to do a T141 with an american S/O? It always makes me giggle when i read them to see the culture differences! thank you lovie!!

Hey! Not gonna lie, I think all of them would almost get a heart attack from the culture shock! I know I do everytime I talk to my American friend! Also, I am neither British nor American, so I don't know a whole lot about either of those countries! I based this off of what my American friends have told me about the States!

TF141 with an American!Reader

Price: The moment you tell him about any of the human rights violations that are completely normal to you regarding your work he feels as though he’s going to die of a culture shock. What the hell do you mean you don’t get paid vacation??? He gets a whooping 28 days off, so why don’t you??? If you even get any days off in the first place. And then there’s the fact that you need to “earn” your sick days. What the hell??? What kind of shithole are the United States if you can’t even stay home when you’re sick??? I feel as though you could genuinely stun him into silence if you tell him those things like they’re the most normal thing in the world. He’s going to grow very concerned with you. Don’t you want to move in with him instead? Live in a new country that respects your rights as a human being at least somewhat? He will genuinely offer you to move in with him here and there, especially if you tell him some more concerning things. Theft at work? Just by picking up a pen from the ground? Really? The more you tell him about the States, the more he comes to resent that country.

Gaz: Oh, the two of you are gonna be arguing a lot. He’s well aware that there are quite a few regional differences with words, but Gaz is going to pretend he’s always right, even if he knows that there’s no right or wrong. Ghost is a leftenant, not a lieutenant. Those are chips and not fries. Love, that’s a bloody biscuit. He smirks at you every time he mentions his superior British English. Call him a colonizer and he’ll shut up, though. In fact, he’ll be super shocked. Seriously? You joke about that? He doesn’t make any jokes about 9/11 either, for example. It’s very surprising to hear how chill you actually are about 9/11, considering how much bad it brought with it. He doesn’t dare to make any jokes about it. He’ll call you Mr./Mx. Oppenheimer, though. He knows it’s disrespectful towards Japan, but if you have the audacity to call him a colonizer of all things, surely you can take a little joke. You gonna shoot the missiles, love? Gonna go to bloody Walmart and buy an AK-47?  He loves you, but man, if he doesn’t need to be there, he doesn’t want to go to the US either.

Ghost: You’re a very perplexing creature. Because??? How can one human being be this loud in public??? Are you not afraid of being judged??? Of getting bludgeoned to death because you looked at a YouTube Short in public??? Naturally, he’ll protect you, but man, you’re very daring. Besides, how can you just??? Walk up to people and talk to them like that??? You don’t know them and you weren’t forced to talk to them either?????? Sure, you’re friendly but?????? Are you not afraid of getting judged in public for your accent or dialect??? You’re an American in England, people are gonna mock you??? You seem to take it in stride, though. Good on you for that one, lovie. But are all Americans willing to be this social??? Do you just walk up to people all the time and talk to them??? Do you not mind your own business at all times??? Congratulations, you’ve confused this man beyond repair just by being American and being a little bit social. Also, how in the world are you this touchy? Just because his touch starvation kills him doesn’t mean he’s gonna do anything about it. And yet here you are, hugging someone you’ve met a few hours ago. What???????

Soap: For Soap, it’s the small things that confuse him. Like, do you just guesstimate how much you pay at the store? Bonnie, what the hell do you mean YOUR STORES DON’T INCLUDE TAXES IN THEIR PRICES?? Also, bonnie, you can actually rely on public transport here in the UK. It’s okay, you don’t have to be afraid of the double decker bus or the metro. Because why in the world do you need a car to get literally anywhere in the world??? Also, why do your housing estates look like that?? It’s all squares?? He’s never gonna let you live down how ugly it all looks. Besides, your houses can literally be blown away this easily as well. You should come live in Scotland with him. This is not a suggestion, by the way, as you will be living there with him eventually. He refuses to live in the US. He’s gonna show you how nice Scotland really is! In fact, he’s gonna give you your very own kilt as well! It’s very comfortable, you should know! This, in actuality, is a bribe to get you to forget about the US. Please, never mention them again. They’re the peace police, but no one likes them, bonnie!!!

[likearolloftape]

Lewis Pullman as Rhett Abbott Outer Range • S1.E4

[cosmicdreamgrl]

maknae line x bst performances pt.2 for @jkvjimin

[seance]

the power is on, the guillotine hums / my back's to the wall - go on, let it fall