#i cant do opposite to emotion action when my head hurts so much all the time

[nytfythfhtyf]

i cant use dbt skills when my body hurts

[mooncheese3]

HOLY SHIT A FELLOW YUELIUJIU ENJOYER. thank you SO MUCH for indulging my yueliu request and making it even better. do you have any yueliujiu concepts running around your mind? i've seen your other svsss concepts and they're just - fuck - absolutely brilliant. i want to write them so bad.

LMAO HELP BTW OMG HI THAT GENUINELY MADE ME PUT MY HAND ON MY HEART BC FLATTERED IDK I CANT GRAMMAR BUT ANYWAY. YES PLS DO WRITE BEGGING ON MY HANDS AND KNEES (also i have no idea where ur 2nd ask after this one went its gone from my inbox and i have no idea how tumblr works so IM SORRY FKSNFKS)

THEIR DYNAMIC DRIVES ME CRAZY. THEYRE A TRIANGLE. THEYRE THE MOST STABLE SHAPE DESPITE BEING SO OPPOSITE. THEY BALANCE EACH OTHER OUT.

(warning this goes super super long😇)

yqy. hes the water to lqg's fire and sqq's wind (which stokes fire). hes the calming rain during the sunset after a burning afternoon. hes the still waters as compared to the extreme winds. BUT. LIKE AN OCEAN. THERES SO MUCH GOING ON UNDERNEATH THE UNMOVING SURFACE.

this is where liujiu come in. theyre the fearless divers who readily plunge. while others may point and talk about how idyllic a lake is, theyre the ones to swim to the middle and see how deep it runs. thing is, the two of them are Wired to actively seek out the truth. its one of the few things they have in common, fiery temper aside. that is Exactly what our dear qige needs. HE NEEDS MORE PEOPLE TO SEE PAST HIS AMICABLE, LIKABLE MASK

not that hes an unlikeable person at heart, thats subjective but like u get what i mean right. BASICALLY he goes out of his way to be liked by everyone, but in doing so shoves all the unlikable parts of himself away. hes a kettle WAITINGGG to explode one day, and it wont be pretty at all

ON THE OTHER HANDD sqq exaggerates all his unlikeable traits to push people away. unlike yqy, who actively tries to bring people closer to him (to a curated ver of him) in a kind of keep your friends close but your enemies closer type of thing, bc at the back of his mind ANYONE can become his enemy and hurt him–its the paranoia talking— sqq keeps everyone at a distance BECAUSE anyone can hurt him.

since lqg Hates people faking things–sqq would argue that exaggeration is NOT faking, actually, and yqy would also add that downplaying isnt either— hed just. do what he does best: fist fight his way into fixing things👍👍

JK BUT NOT RLLY HED ALSO BE THEIR (surprisingly) level-headed anchor when they go through problems as a couple. (i hc him as the type of guy to be the most calm when thrust into times of distress. good hunters and warriors need to be like that. itd be neat if that also carried over into how he dealt with emotional conflicts. like he may seem like the epitome of an emotionally constipated guy–which he is at times–but when it really matters he can be insightful. how he words things out needs to be improved tho, id imagine. but sqq appreciates action over words, and yqy understands lqg as a person, so theres that)

word vomit over yqy is a dog boy, lqg is a cat boy with dog boy tendencies, and sqq is a cat boy B)))

OH AND. AND AND AND. AU WHEREIN YLJ ARE LMY'S PRIMARY GUARDIANS. OH BOY. OHHHHHH BOYEIEYEIEY

PREFERABLY WHEN THEYRE STILL DISCIPLES. maybe baby lmy is present for one of their fights (as in not spar. As in oh shit this is serious business. As in oh shit theyre horrible at communication) and she cries. and so theyre like WOW were so bad at this

qijiu are going down the HORRIBLE mindset of "maybe i should just get away from all this before i make things infinitely worse, like i always do" but lqg strong arms them into sitting at a table and talking things out bc "we may be bad at this but we CAN get better, idiots"

(HOW UNCHARACTERISTIC YOU MAY SAY. BUT. WELL. lets just say lqg got strong armed into doing that by his shizun, who was strong armed into doing it by yqy and sqq's shizuns, who didnt want to do it themselves because reputation purposes and also bc thats troublesome but seeing their disciples pass in slightly subpar work bc of FEELINGS made them actually do something

not the best shizuns but. yea. u dont get disastrous human beings out of nowhere)

their biweekly emotional discussions from hell are the most awkward things the three have ever gone through, BUT! anything for their little meiemei turned semi-daughter

mingyan will forever be proud of them, once shes old enough to understand

AND! AND AND AND AND AND LATER THEY ADOPT LITTLE PALACE MASTER (ON ACCIDENT) AND NYY (NOT ON ACCIDENT)

hngf i just love little palace master too much not to include her, the little brat

okay this gushing is getting super long but thats what tumblrs for

help im jumping from topic to topic but OH WELL. WE WILL NOW BE TOUCHING UPON YLJ AND 3ZUN FROM MDZS PARALLELS

ACTUALLY NOT TOUCHING UPON JUST. SCREAMING ABOUT IT.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[bloodycassian]

anon asked:

ok hear me out, azriel x reader where reader can hear thoughts or something along those lines and she doesn’t know how to control it so she’s constantly hearing or feeling thoughts/emotions and it’s heats super overwhelming and az helps her through it <3

The headaches hadn't stopped for weeks. Rhys had even called over a medwitch from the continent to help, but there was nothing she could see that was wrong. They were all worried, but their worries just somehow made your head hurt even more. The whispers you could hear from them down the stairs of the townhouse were the worst part. 'Do they need a cleansing?' 'What happened to cause it?' 'Their body is doing this for a reason.' they went on and on and on, never answering each other. Each voice different through the muffling of the walls.  You were ready to scream. Pillow over your head wouldnt even block them out. You rocked in bed, hands over your ears. Nothing, no more silence ever. Just the ringing in your head of all the voices. Mor had tried asking her father if he knew anything about such subjects. Anything for help. Azriel swooped into the city streets, nodding at a few shopkeeps as he went. After being gone for the last few weeks, the welcome faces of his home were a sight for sore eyes. He held the bag of various salts and salves gently, just as he had his whole trip back. He landed with precision at the front gate of the town home. The familiar wrought iron fence squeaking slightly when he opened it. You felt his presence before he even opened the front door. The coolness of his essence seeping through the walls. The curling shadows that darkened everything ever so slightly. "Your condition seems to have...developed since I left." He set the tote down on the chair by the door, then closed it softly. The whispering became more intense, a pounding in your head that drowned out almost everything else.  "Oh-" He breathed as he walked in. A shocked look then he was grinning. "Leave us." He dismissed Rhys, who gave him a look before obeying. He took off his jacket, leaving him in a dark tunic that made his eyes look brighter. He cocked his head when staring at you, then took a breath. The shadows seemed to summon around him, making him look even more intimidating than normal. They slunk around his ankles like a fog. Then they covered the walls of the room, blocking off the light from the window entirely. The relief in your mind was overwhelming.  You choked out a sob, looking at him with wide eyes. The silence, the weight taken from your brain was like breathing for the first time. "H-how?" You panted, getting up from the bed. Sickness did not weigh you down any longer. The pounding ceased completely, alleviating your too warm temples. He came close to you, only too close because of the thin nightgown you wore. Really it was one of Cassian's old shirts that just fitted you like a dress. When you had taken his room due to your apparent illness you had found a few 'interesting' items of his that were left. "It seems your condition has...evolved since I saw you last." He reached a hand out to you, the siphons atop thrumming with a warm dark blue. You took it tentatively, your eyes slid shut -then there he was. His scent, his thoughts, his everything was in your mind. You scrambled away from it mentally, your heart slamming in your chest. He stroked a thumb over your hand. His mental voice was warm, yet rough and commanding. "Slow. Think, but slowly. I'm here, you're okay." The voice said.  His darkness seemed to follow him to your mind, coating it in a coolness that was much appreciated. "What do I do? What am I?" You took a breath, trying to center yourself. Your entire being was roaring at you to fight back against the intrusion, but he shushed you into not trying it. "You...are new. You're like me, in a way." He whispered softly, his essence drifting over you comfortingly. Like a soft blanket, cold but still comforting.  "How do I get it ito stop?" You sighed, wanting to bury your head in your hands again. He touched you then, slowly at first. Dragging a soft, textured hand up to your wrist, then pulling you in for a hug. His warmth was the opposite of everything else about him, those shadows did nothing against the core of him, his heat.  "You dont, you learn how to make it work with you." He said aloud, his presence rolling out of your mind like a thundercloud. He pulled out of the embrace, "You need to make the thoughts blend like street noise- like a crowd. Learn to select what you want to hear. "  "You make it sound so easy." You rolled your eyes at him, crossing your arms over your chest. Azriel may or may not have glanced at how it hitched up the oversized t shirt. Hunger opened up in the pit of his stomach at the filthy thoughts. He knew it was Cassian's shirt, recognized and scented it. It made him want to put his own scent on you in several different, creative ways. He cracked a grin and shrugged slightly, "It'll be like reading a new language. But you need to learn to speak it first." He wrapped an arm around your shoulders and lead you to the balcony, the shadows following you in a close bubble the whole way.  "All these people have their thoughts, their words and actions. My shadows tell me all about their outfits, their scents, their hair. Unnecessary unless they have a weapon." He gestured to a few fae males outside a townhome a few houses down. One threw their arms up in the air and stormed back inside." I can't keep them from giving me this information, but I do let it go. I dont even listen unless I detect a threat."  You let out a long breath, feeling the anxiety of him leaving already. "Please stay." His stomach dropped at the words. You grabbed for his hand. As if the open sky was demanding he take off that second. " I cant-" You kept your voice from trembling. "It's too much. Why me? Why now?" Tears threatened and you looked away. He couldnt bear to see you in such pain. He wanted - he needed to give you relief from it. He squared his shoulders and squeezed your hand back. "Are you afraid to fly?" he asked, flexing his wings. The shadows answered with their own wave. "I'm not the biggest fan-" Before you could give your list of excused you'd rather not fly, he was shooting into the air, the backs of your thighs rubbing over his deliciously warm skin. Your yelp of surprise was left behind you. You held on to his shoulders for dear life. "If you would open your eyes you might not be so scared." He laughed, his siphons glaring a bright shield around you that protected you from the wind. He flew fast, and far. His presence was the only one you felt, like a cool rain on your still reeling mind. He had sent Rhys an advisory thought before he took you, letting him know you needed some 'fun'. "If I open my eyes I'm going to vomit all over you." You said, squeezing your eyes tighter. You felt the laugh through his chest. His thumb circled the back of your knee, giving you goosebumps that had nothing to do with the slight chill running through the shield. The shirt was not nearly enough for an outing, and you doubted he was taking you anywhere with anyone who would mind. The thought sent a thrill through you. Alone. He wanted to be alone with you.  As if in approval, his essence drifted happily into your mind, caressing you as his thumb did. He flew lower slowly, enjoying your scent mixed with the cool smell of the lake below. The way the sun at this angle made your hair shine. He landed softly, setting you down only after you'd made him promise you were no longer flying.  "We're done...for now." He winked when you opened, marveling at his wind tosseld hair for a second before collecting yourself and brushing your shirt absently. He grinned wider, and the coolness you'd felt since he showed up in the town home receded. You felt...like you. Normal again, weightless in comparison after the weeks of buzzing in your head. And the view beyond his goofy grin was marvelous. A snowcapped mountain towered above, sloping to create the lake. Mixes of different rock lay everywhere. The scattered pines seemed like giants whispering in the breeze. "Listen to the birds, enjoy the silence for a while." He said, then began walking to the bank of the bright blue water. You stood in shock for a while, letting the sound of the wind and nothing else seep into you. You reveled in it, joying in the simplicity of it. Everything seemed so much louder than you remembered.  You sat on a boulder and watched him skip rocks, the short splats of them echoing off the mountainside. He skipped one after another, occasionally picking up smaller ones and pocketing them. You let your mind wander, trying to regain the feeling he had shrouded you with in the townhome. The solid wall he had put up around your mind for you. But he had said you needed to learn to let it blend in, to deal with it and not shut it out. It was an asset, not a hinderance. You shuddered at using the gift for much. You didnt care to know peoples ins and outs in normal conversation, let alone without them knowing. You attempted to summon that wall. It was like grasping at water, thick and heavy and impossible. The lingering remnants of control slipped away like sand through your fingers. You buried your face in your hands, letting the tears fall.  When he approached, you didn't bother hiding. He had been in your head, he knew what it was like. He said nothing, just wrapped an arm around you and let you cry into his shoulder. Holding you tighter on the bigger sobs that ripped out of you. 

[that-sarcastic-writer]

Coach (1)

Fandom: Dylan O'Brien

Pairing: AU Dylan x Fem!Reader

Mini series summary: Being a newly single mom of two kids wasn't exactly easy. And love wasn't exactly part of your agenda. So, should you avoid lusting over your son's baseball coach? Absolutely. But with a man like Dylan, could you really resist? Probably not.

Warnings: nothing major yet, small sexual innuendo, mentions of cheating and divorce

WC: 1.9k

A/N: a yes, to those who have been following me for a while may recognize this title, it's my old Dylan AU fic. Yes I decided to continue it. Updates will come periodically, because I write spontaneously and I cant guarantee quick updates. But I do promise I wont wait a whole year to update. And since I did some slight updates in the first 2 parts I decided to archive the old ones and repost them again. So yeah, if you've read them before great, give it another read, my writing is much better now I promise and if you're new welcome, I hope you like this mini series.

(You are here, part 2, part 3)

Dylan stood by the side of the large field, near the home plate, occasionally yelling out suggestions and pointing out mistakes to the young boys. 

"Ezra! You have to watch the ball! C'mon! I know you can do better!" He called out to the blonde boy standing on the home plate with a bat in hand. Dylan then turned his attention to the dark haired boy with the baseball mitt and ball in hand.

"Roman! What's going on, buddy? You gotta focus, alright? You gotta work on that throw!" Dylan called out to the young boy, who half nodded and sighed heavily in response.

Not long after, Dylan signaled the young boys scattered throughout the large field to gather around. He spoke some encouraging words to the boys before allowing them to disperse and gather their equipment which meant practice was over.

Your son, however, stayed behind for a minute. There was an inaudible conversation happening between Dylan and your ten year-old, Roman. You watched from the bleachers as your son made some tired gestures at his coach followed by a small pat on the back from Dylan. You couldn't help but follow them with your eyes as they made their way to the bleachers, your eyes lingering a bit too long on the brown haired coach. An action that wasn't taken lightly by the female sitting beside you.

"You're staring at him again." Your best friend, Ezra's mother, Eliza -or just Liz, commented.

"I'm not." You muttered out quickly, tearing your eyes away from the handsome coach, your mouth hanging open for a couple of seconds. "I wasn't staring." You stated matter of factly and shrugged as you looked down at the small six year-old sitting on your lap, making sure she wasn't paying attention to the conversation.

"Really? The drool coming from your mouth says otherwise." Liz playfully ran her finger across your chin, pretending to wipe away at it. You slightly glared at her, an eye roll going her way.

"I'm not drooling. I wasn't even staring." You tried to defend yourself, making a small sassy gesture to her.

"Hey, I don't blame you. If I wasn't married," she took a pause as she eyed Dylan as he removed his baseball hat to run a hand through his messy chocolate locks, you couldn't help but stare as well. "I'd jump on his bones any day."

"Hey, there's young ears present." You said quietly to Liz as not to disturb the young girl in your arms.

Despite your attempt not to, you couldn't help but allow your eyes to fall once again on the field, following the handsome male that was the topic of your conversation. You had to hide the infatuated sigh that left your lips at the sight of your son's coach running around the field, talking to the kids and picking up equipment.

"Well he is handsome, I'll give him that.." You admitted quietly, "and he's really good with the kids."

Your friend smirked slightly at your words and wiggled her eyebrows at you.

"I bet that's not the only thing he's really good at." She eyed you suggestively and slightly nudged at you with her shoulder, "You should find out what other things he's good at."

Your mouth instantly fell open and your eyes widened at the insinuation.

"Eliza! Oh, my god. Don't say that." You slightly shook your head to brush off the embarrassment and hid your face on your hands to cover the crimson on your skin.

"Mommy you're warm!" Athena, your six year-old giggled as she grabbed your warm, sweaty hands. Even your daughter noticed the nervousness that crept up on you when it came to Dylan, even if it was just the topic of him. Truth was, you had been shamelessly crushing on your son's baseball coach ever since he joined the team a couple of months ago. 

Get it together, you should not be crushing on your son's baseball coach.

"I know baby, it's just hot out here." You tried to brush it off, but the knowing smirk on Liz's face wasn't exactly helping. "Thena, why don't you go get Roman and Ezra? They're over there." You pointed to the field where Roman and Ezra were talking —or more like just Ezra was, to the other kids on the team. She quickly nodded and bolted off the bleachers, somehow not tripping over the steps as she went down. You sighed heavily the moment the young girl was far enough and slightly turned your head in Liz's direction.

"You should totally ask him out." She said out of nowhere with a shrug and a smirk on her face. Your eyes widened for the hundredth time, and you instantly shook your head frantically, the idea alone giving you a headache.

"Ask Dylan out? No way. I.. No.. That's just.. No." Your cheeks slightly heat up at the preposition. But you quickly turned it down with a vigorous shake of your head, not even giving the idea a minute to sink into your brain. "No, he's Roman's coach. It's just wrong."

"Why? I mean, you're single, and as far as I know, he's very single. Soo," she dragged the 'o' as she wiggled her eyebrows and she nudged your shoulder, pushing you over a little in a high school girl manner, "Why not get ready to mingle with the hot coach?"

"First of all, I'm technically not single, not yet." You groaned with an eyeroll. As much as you and your husband —or ex-husband or whatever were no longer living together, the divorce process had been unnecessarily long and dreadful. So as much as you wanted to be legally single, you were still married to that piece of shit. 

"And second of all, if I were to date someone, which is a big if, I can't date Roman's coach out of all people. He already has enough as it is. It'll just confuse him and probably upset him more." You sighed heavily as you looked over to the side of the field, where all the boys were having a conversation about elementary boys' things. And there you saw your son, trying, and ultimately failing at joining said conversations. And with little Athena tugging at his side, all he got from the other kids was laughing and rejection.

Seeing your son's sad and hurt expression when the other boys laughed at him or even told him to go away broke your heart. You wanted him to be happy again. You wanted him to be the energetic and loving kid he was before your waste of a husband left. Ever since Ryan —your waste of a husband left, Roman hasn't been the same. 

For the past six or so months, he has been distant and seemingly unhappy. All he ever did was lock himself up in his room and play video games. He barely ever interacted with you and Athena anymore. He barely interacted with anyone, period. Once Ryan left, it was up to you to support your kids financially. Of course, their father still paid child support, but he sure as hell didn't pay your bills or everything you needed to spend on your children. Which meant you had to take him out of the fancy school he went to in order to still pay the monthly expenses of your home. And he just didn't quite fit in at school, especially now. 

So, you hoped that him joining the baseball team would change that, that it would help him open up again and that it would help him make new friends. But so far, it's worked just the opposite.

"So, I'm making dinner tonight. Do you want to come over with the kids and get drunk? Luke will watch over the kids." Liz spoke, interrupting your train of thought.

"That sounds a-mazing," you spoke in a song-like tune, a sigh of contentment leaving your lips. "But I can't. I told Roman I'd take him to that Italian place he likes."

"Tomorrow then. I'll have that Chardonnay you love so much waiting for you." She winked at you as you both stood up, ready to greet your children.

"Thank God for your alcohol stash." You joked, flinging your arms up in praise. 

You both laughed and smiled in your children's direction, but your smile dropped as your kids and Ezra approached you. Ezra was holding Athena's hand, while Roman walked behind them, with a certain heaviness on his step and an annoyed look on his face. And Athena had a small pout on her face.

"Hey, what's wrong?"

"Rome doesn't want to hold my hand!" Athena whined with a pout of her lower lip. She released Ezra's hand and exchanged it for your own. Ezra going to his own mom. While Roman simply stood there, with a hand stuffed into his pockets and the other messing with the strap of his bag, his gaze stuck on the ground.

"Roman, baby," you sighed softly, not wanting to give the poor kid a hard time. You understood he didn't exactly fit in, no matter how much he wanted to, and that upset him. You didn't want to add up to that. "Your sister just wanted you to hold her hand."

"She was embarrassing me.. I'm already the kid without a dad, I don't need to be the kid with an annoying  baby sister." He muttered, his gaze not once leaving the ground.

 His words were harsh, but lacked emotion. And it broke your heart. But as much as you wanted to tell him that it wasn't true, that he did have a dad, you'd be lying if you did. Ryan was already absent in your children's lives before the split, but at the same time he was there, and Roman felt as if he was. But now, his father really wasn't there, at all. And there was nothing you could do about it.

You sighed softly, gesturing your free hand out for him, "Roman, come here," a heavy sigh left the young boy's lips as he took a few steps closer, standing in front of you with his head hanging low and his eyes stuck to the ground. You used your hand to hold the side of his face, his eyes meeting with your own. "Baby, Thena just wanted to show you that she loves you. She didn't mean to embarrass you, right Thena?" You turned your attention to the small girl that hid behind your arm, her eyes glistening with tears.

The small girl sniffled and shook her head, "No.. I'm sorry Rome.. I won't do it ever again, I-I promise."

You exchanged looks between your children, your eyes finally landing on Roman as you waited for a response. You raised an eyebrow at him, your eyes speaking a silent 'and' to the boy. He eventually signed, almost too heavily, and nodded. 

"It's okay, I guess.. I don't really mind all that much." He half smiled, shrugging slightly.

Athena's expression quickly lightened, the small girl detached herself from your hand and hugged her older brother. And as much as he hated to admit it, he didn't mind the affection. He returned the hug and smiled, for a moment at least.

After a second or two, Roman slightly pushed Athena off him, signaling that that had been enough affection for a day. You breathed out softly, turning to look at Liz, who gave you a sympathetic smile in response. 

"Well my loves, off we go. Say goodbye to Auntie Liz and Ezra." Both your children did as you said. Athena hugging both of them, and Roman simply waving at them. Good enough.

And at last, you gave Liz a quick but tight hug, "I'll call you tomorrow." You said shortly before you grabbed a hold of your daughter's hand and your son's bag, and eventually parted ways.

Today was gonna be a long day.

《Here's an edited version of part 1. As always I hope y'all enjoyed it. I'm trying to get back into writing after a long year, hopefully this will help me get back on track. Let me know your thoughts. And let me know if you'd like to be added to my dylan/coach taglist which I do have》

[wilwheaton]

wow! you really did it this time. who knew you would be the one whod crack the oh so cryptic nazi dogwhistle that the rightwing has been hiding behind all this time? you're truly a genius! now that you have basically compared the official term (that the members themselves have used for years) of the democratic party TO the n-word, the s-word and the k-word, they cant make fun of liberals and leftists anymore, we are finally free. their supplies are SPENT and their defenses BROKEN. thank you mr. wheaton, you have done it! you have defeated fascism! may god bless america!

Just because you don’t know about the history of something doesn’t mean your interpretation and dismissal of that history is factually correct.

You’re probably not going to hear this. That’s okay. This is for anyone else who is open to hearing how this 48 year-old guy got where he is, politically.

The biggest event in my generation’s life is likely the attack on 9/11. None of us had ever experienced something like that, and it wrecked a lot of us.

But in the immediate aftermath of 9/11, all of us who weren’t on board with Bush’s illegal and immoral invasion of Iraq were grouped in with the terrorists who murdered 2000 people. We were The Other. It wasn’t as dangerous or as violent at that is in Trump’s America, but for its time, in its context, it hurt.

Sidebar: We are losing a 9/11 of Americans every two days, to COVID. It didn’t have to be this way. The fact that it is this way is a choice.

The whole point of a slur is to dehumanize and cast out a group of people. slurs shape unconscious public perceptions, encourage prejudices and bigotry, and create The Other.

When our nation was grieving and afraid, Republicans saw it as an opportunity to consolidate power, and one of the ways they did that was to Otherize and dehumanize all of us who didn’t share their political ideology. Our grief was minimized and discarded, and part of that was deliberately calling us The Democrat Party, instead of The Democratic Party. This was started by right wing Fascist Rush Limbaugh. He said that anyone who was a Democrat wasn’t actually democratic, and within 24 hours, elected Republicans at all levels of government, their supporters on hate radio, and right wing pundits were saying “Democrat” party instead of “Democratic Party”. As far as slurs go, it’s nowhere near the slurs propagated against BIPoC, LGBTQ+, and other groups of people who are dehumanized by my fellow white people. But it is still a slur, and it is still intended to dehumanize and delegitimize us.

So we were left with this huge, emotional, psychic wound that we couldn’t heal, a national grieving we were very publicly excluded from. If you weren’t alive then, you likely don’t know what it felt like for us to be told “you’re with us or against us” at a time when “us” meant Bush and the GOP. We lost friends and family and colleagues on 9/11, too. We were afraid, too. We lived in the same country and had the same right to grief and healing as Bush’s allies.

So when I hear a young person, who likely wasn’t alive or was a baby in 2001 and its immediate aftermath repeating a phrase that was used against me and people like me, I take offense. I won’t apologize for that. I also won’t apologize for not being as Left as some of the kids who attacked me. I do apologize for not making more of an effort to communicate clearly and compassionately. 

I can’t imagine that anyone who doesn’t already agree with all of this is still reading, but just in case some of you are open to it, open to hearing this old man’s voice of experience: 

This will be hard for you to believe, but I’m WAY to the Left in American politics. I know I’m not as Left as some of y’all in other countries. I respect where you’re coming from, and I ask you to understand and respect that, in 48 years (30 of them voting and actively participating in campaigns at every level of government), I’ve learned that we will never get as Left as I want. Bernie was as close as we’ve ever come, and as much as I love his message and policies, Americans have been asked, twice, if we want him to be The Guy, and both times America has said no thanks. We tried, again, with Senator Warren, and America said No Thanks. 

That’s a giant bummer, but it has laid the foundation for a new generation of progressive Democratic Socialists who I hope are the future of my party. I believe that the future is progressive, that America can’t continue to exist in Late Stage Capitalism, and that the Republican party as it exists now must be destroyed.

This is likely where we diverge: I vote my conscience and my heart in the primary, but I vote for Democrats in the general election, because even when I don’t get everything I want, I know that of the two options, Democrats aren’t going to deliberately hurt me and people I love the way Republicans will and do.

I’m willing to fight like crazy in the primaries to get the most Progressive candidate into the general, but once we’re in the general, I am going to support the candidate who is closest to me. I sent my message in the primary with my vote, and with my bank account by supporting the most progressive candidates I’m comfortable with. There was a younger version of me who believed voting Green would push the Democrats to the Left, where I was. I was wrong, and boy do I regret ever giving any of them my vote. Maybe it’s different in other countries, but in America, Greens have become useful idiots for Fascists who seek to hold onto power not by winning majorities, but by splitting their opposition’s vote.

When my candidate doesn’t make it out of the primary, I’m not willing to sit out the general, or cast a vote for a candidate who won’t ever win, because I have worked on enough campaigns, been close to enough party officials, and spent enough time in American politics to know that the two parties you despise don’t care at all about  your protest vote. It doesn’t move them to adopt your positions. It makes them dismiss you, entirely. That 90 or 90 percent of things you and the Democrats agree on? Doesn’t matter. You’ve ceased to exist for anyone who will ever be elected or hold electoral away. And because you did not vote for the one candidate who could beat the candidate you hate more, you have ended up supporting not just the candidate you hate, but all of their policies, their SCOTUS Justices, and every single head of every single branch of government.

I want to repeat that, because I really hope someone will hear this the way I couldn’t and didn’t hear it when I was in my early 20s: When you vote third party, not only do you help the candidate you most want to defeat, you take yourself out of the conversation. Nobody who will ever be elected takes you seriously, and all the things you care about will not be any closer to being addressed by people who can actually make a difference.

I don’t want you to give up your seat at the table. I want you to move the Overton Window back to the Left, so we get America closer and closer to being a nation that isn’t overtly racist, doesn’t murder Black people, provides healthcare and college to all Americans at no cost, and holds criminals -- even powerful criminals -- accountable for their actions.

In our Primary, I worked hard to get Senator Warren over the top, but our party and the voters who will decide the election didn’t agree. The people who can end Trump’s criminal reign of terror all said “We want Biden,” and I know this is a hard to swallow pill, but they are the people who matter, and they are the people we need to support if we want to get rid of Trump and stop the Fascist advance in America.

[papers4me]

Fruits Basket, Se3, ep11 (part 1)

Breaking toxic bonds & accepting healthy ones isn’t a miracle. A bond that started with love could end up chained & toxic, another that started wrong could’ve become the joy of a life time. You can do it. Break the cycle of abuse & stand up for yourself, it is easy yet so difficult, you aren’t alone, tho, loved ones stand nearby cheering. Be kind on yourself, otherwise you’ll throw your life away. Life isn’t just happiness & joy, it’s also sadness & loneliness. Break free from the shackles that held you down. Embrace life & Live.

-Tohru’s “ I’m okay” mask is finally shattered! (the Importance of kyo’s rejection for her development):

This is the last part of tohru’s character development! The last few eps were abt her role in Akito’s redemption & their similarities. she staood up for herself & choose a path away from her mom while keeping her mom’s memory in a healthy manner. No more planning my life according to mom’s wishes, no more talking to mom ‘s picture 24/7. Now, I’ll plan my life & move forward even if it is with the guy mom said she cant forgive. even If it is without him, I’ll move forward. I love him so much, yet I won’t force our bond & let go. So easy yet so difficult!. tohru doesnt know anything abt kyo after her fall. All she remembers is his heart-broken face as he wept beside her. Those tears on his face, she caused them. He cried cuz it is too painful to see her hurt. She was a burden to him! tohru restored to her old coping mechanism of pretending “ i’m Okay” & smiling. She did so numerous times before. Always worked. No one noticed. Except him. Se02, ep7. he urged her to show her true fears. Now, she’s faced with a pain so big she can’t pretend no more. the pain of loosing him. She cried in front of yuki! The smile & chatting abt chores couldn’t conceal the running tears! Yuki’s first time seeing her like that. Se01, ep14, yuki wondered how could tohru smile after her mom’s death. She can’t pretend no more! She’ll have to wear her feelings on her sleeve! cuz it IS ok to do so! She tells kyo to give her a moment to compose herself. She couldn’t lie & pretend like she did with yuki. Here she either run away or just try to compose myself! I LOVE THAT! This way, whenever kyo/tohru fight or have any misunderstanding in the future as a couple, you’ll know tohru won’t just bear it & pretend, “ i;m okay” No! she’ll talk to kyo & express herself! I LOVE THIS SO MUCH! It gives her so much strength as a human & I’m happy all the obstacles & set backs in kyo/tohru’s romantic journey has led them to be better ppl little by little to build healthier & more realistic love! 

-The mechanics of writing a compelling slow-burn romance:

1. Igniting the romantic feelings slowly: Slow burns don’t work with love at 1st sight. It must first sparkle naturally, slowly & subtly. Both kyo & tohru repeatedly stated they don’t know exactly when they first fell in love. The author’s decision to create an environment where the two live together is a genius way to start & nurture their romance quietly & subtly. Kyo was tricked to stay in shigure’s house while tohru had to stay cuz she had no home, Natural reasons that force the two to spend days together & get to know each other gradually.

2. Dynamics of their personalities: For slow burns to work, the two characters need to be similar yet opposites! Kyo & tohru are both kind, endearing, innocent, good at chores, independent & hardworking. They both have history with their mothers that is filled with love yet traumas. However, tohru is calm yet prefer maneuvering around subjects, can’t stand up for herself, reads ppl easily, tends to trust ppl easily & disregard herself. Kyo is fierce, strong, tends to distrust ppl, despite ppl loving his spontaneous character, he has hard time figuring out if they’re mocking him or teasing him, very straightforward with his words & actions. The similarities helps them understand each other, however, the differences creates chances to clash & come even closer thro various situation. Ex, se01, ep2, kyo apologizing for hitting her head with the table which created the situation where she needed to confess she always loved the cat zodiac! It is HER gush of emotions that struck kyo. ppl really want my friendship? the cat is loved? Thro those difference they learned to better themselves so they won’t hurt the other, kyo toning down his anger for her, tohru desiring to know him even more as he becomes even more awkward.

3. Creating natural, realistic  & convincing obstacles that prevents them from being together:  This is the most important part! Slow-burn is two characters in love & cant be together despite everyone wanting them to be! if the reason that stops them from uniting is trivial, stupid, one-sided, can easily be solved, then the slow-burn would be a fillery & no one would cheer for it! Takaya-san is a genius!

Kyo can’t be with tohru cuz he thinks (a) he killed her mom! we saw thr flashback, he could’ve saved her & couldn’t save her. It was a split of a second difference & he hates himsef for NOT trying! that split of a second also prevented from thinking of better ways to save her than holding her! it happened to fast, he couldn't think of a better alternative cuz this was his 2nd time loosing someone (b) his mom’s sucide being pinned as his fault created this immense guilt & defeated feeling that “ no matter what, I just cause death & misery! There’s (c) too!, he knew tohru! thinks she deserves the world & cuz he didnt save her mom, he watched tohru talk to a freaking picture for two years! heck! he is the only one who can see thro tohru’s “ i;m okay” mask, so in se01, ep 14 in the grave yard! kyo wasnt the only one who is sad! tohru was too! & kyo could tell! (d) her mom’s death is the reason tohru is accepting shigure’s offer to stay with them rent-free in exchange of doing housework! (e)? he saw her confess crying her heart out abt missing her mom so much that she imitated her dad! so tragicly sad! (f) he saw her die in his nightmare!! how can he accept her love,now? Perfectly orchestrated obstacles! 

Tohru, unfortunately, in the anime it wasn't that clear due to shortening her backstories & trauma in se03, ep6. But she too couldn’t see herself confessing love to kyo. Tohru is has low self-esteem, always thinks she’s a burden to others, an orphan who just wants her mom, so scared, lonely & sad! we the audience believed the mask! we saw her work her motherly charm yuki, isusuz, kisa & believe her issues are not that deep.  tohru wont cry for herself but shed rivers for others! grief is so ugly it broke her! I cant let go of mom, must keep her always in my heart, such a hard emotions to write & I believe 100% the director couldn’t understand her grief & decided to split ep6 between her, kyo, isuzu & shigure. But Tohru struggling to confess to kyo is no laughing matter. ppl who are grieving find it the hardest to live after the loved ones die. they wont mostly commit suicide, they are alive, but they arent living. they just go thro the motions & live for the sake of those around them but not themselves. Tohru deciding to confess to kyo is her deciding to live for herself.

4. Writing a perfect psychologically & emotionally packed climax: I dont need to explain how perfect kyo’s rejection of tohru in se03 ep9 was. How much we felt for him yet were mad at him. He we were “ ugh! kyo no!!!! I mean I get why you do that , but you idiot no! come back! poor kyo! He was just so sad & broken! OMG he’ll kill himself after finding tohru’s injured body!! he totally would! his nightmare came true! But Tohru reached him! she wanted him to be okay! he wont kill himself but still feels hella guilty! but so utterly in love with her that his instinct upon seeing her come to life after near death is kiss her! Perfect display of psychology & emotions! filled with right, wrong, sad, happy, guilty, innocent! basically so human~ As the audience you MUST have this mixture of feelings of wanting to hug him so bad cuz this boy has been killing himself for years now yet want him to stop & just see that he was a good boy afterall. Tohru is THE best girl & if the audience are cheering for kyo to be with her, kyo really deserves her! The only problem is for kyo to see that now.

5. The Perfect wrap up of all romance: If you make your audience suffer the slow-burn this long, you gotta reward them good! & Takaya-san delivered! Just like how the entire romantic story is realistic, the reunion must be as realistic too! Tohru is hurt by kyo;s words. Facts remain his words were hurtful to her. I love that was addressed! tohru gets to tell her side, too! If you love someone, you are bound to be hurt by them as much as be happy with them. Simply cuz they matter so much to you! you arent one person, but two ppl coming together. Kyo must work hard for this confession. Must run & chase her. Must earn her proper! He gets on his knees, I cant express how important that is! he is way taller than her, Imagine apologizing while she looks way up & he looks down? He gets on his knees & apologize like a man, for every mistake, all while not loathing himself. He aint going back to that deep abyss again. He did wrong by her & he is owning up to his mistakes. Give me one chance. I’m not gonna force you with persistence or guilt you into taking me. Give me ONE chance cuz i deserve it & no more. The choice is yours. She asks to confirm, he shows her, they kiss, they hug, they are rewarded with a blessing from the heavens! One of the most simple yet emotionally fulfilling confessions in anime!

- Hugs over kisses: (And her kiss hugs her & the curse was lifted):

Prince charming kisses the princess & she wakes up~ they live ever after~ except furuba is all abt “ eternal ever after is not true, real life is where the real love is”

Kyo kissed tohru once, she didnt wake up, she didnt even think he loved her back. didnt even remember the kiss.

Kyo hugged tohru once. se01, e024, He initiated it, tohru was all in tears, surprised, happy & so utterly in love. he called her name for the first time ever, for a brief moment, they both connected, they both comforted each other. The rain stopped, he became a man not a monster, she got him back. She got her kyo that she fought for with none other than kyo himself.

kyo hugged her again, se03, ep6. They both initiated it. He made the first move, pulling her just a little closer, she made the second move & hugged him hard, he transformed, it was a moment were they both connected, both so sad & broken, both feeling needy for the other, both desperate for the other, both just living the moment. the result is them coming closer, her wanting him more, him realizing her love, there is no escape. Admit it. she loves you. You can tell.

Kyo hugs her again today. He asks permission. No spur of the moment feeling. But a long lasting permission to be together. To hug. He wants to hear her acceptance of his cursed body. “ is ok to hug you? this body will cause you pain as it wont be able to fulfill your wishes of constant hugs & intimacy”. She responds, permission granted, for love, for hugs, for a life long acceptance of you as a whole. weakness & strength, sadness & happiness. I accept you all in better & worse! we’re invincible. Why? cuz we understand love isnt magic. It is a path for us to walk together~~~ reward curse break!

Every time kyoru are closer it is a hug. The one thing the zodiacs cant do. A hug. They can kiss. But cant hug. comes this Zodiac Ruler girl so lonely, away from ppl, so sad, meets a cat boy who comes to the house she’s living in, a house away from ppl, the boy is drawn to the girl, However, when the boy needed to leave, the girl was able to let go despite loving him, the boy comes again, this time wanting to stay, the girl accepts the boy. They both accept the realistic reality of life. Embrace the obstacles & the achievements, celebrates the weakness above the strength. Both so imperfect. Both so endearingly dumb! that’s why the girl’s hug broke the boy’s curse. The girl’s acceptance of the cat broke all curses.

Side Note:

Kyo’s confession is so kyo! so straightforward, so direct, & so physical. He’s on his knees, holding her hands, looking at her eyes. “ i want to be WITH you. If I’m gona live, I want to to do it with you & no one else! cuz I love you” that’s it. That’s all.  So sincere & so romantic!

it is crazy how different tohru & kyo are now after the confession! she stood confidently & happily & said “dont you know, I love you!” all while teasing him, her giggle is so girlish & cute! my girl is a happy woman in love! long buried the angelic mother image of se02! YES! also, kyo’s happy face is love! Dude! when was the last time he smiled so freely? Did he ever do that? He smiled in se01, ep4 with kazmua, but not like this! T_T. my son is healing~

Kyo’s “ i wont ever feel afraid if you’re with me” is a huge growth from his “ I want to protect her” mindset. Now he realizes it is two-sided mutual desire. She gives him strength as much as he does! <3

I dont like open eye while kissing, but here it is so perfect for tohru in this moment! cuz she spent days thinking kyo rejected her & even ran away as soon as she saw him, now he’s not only confessing, apologizing, admitting she is his life, but also kissing her signaling they’re romantic couple. kissing on lips is so personal, what more evidence she needs? still, her thoughts? “ it’s like a dream?” aww~~~ tohru~~~ my precious girl! she just cant believe all her suffering is over, now? She was just practicing “ i’m okay” smile & now she’s an official girlfriend to the man of her dreams? He just bent da kneeee~ go for it queen!

yuki’s face when tohru cried is exactly what I meant of “ allowing yuki to have strong facial expressions”! XD these types of faces humanize yuki so much into the teenage boy he is! Unfortunately the anime team only sees him as the pretty prince in most times. That’s why fave yuki is when he’s with kakeru. He becomes so un-princly as he should be.

Speaking of yuki, I see you anime team~ postponing his moment into next ep so him & machi wont be overshadowed by the long awaited kyoru!! While this defies the perfection of all cursed zodiacs breaking on the same ep making akito’s breakdown less perfect & poetic, I take it as the anime team admitting they underdeveloped yuchi & decided let’s give them more screen time & not putting them in close distance from any couple. A week later ep is enough with lots of time. I dont mind at all, I’m just saying more time after/while confession is not what i was hoping for~~ sigh~ At least I hope yuki would say sth along the lines” all this time I was looking at you, i realized i love you” to imply he was thinking of her as a lover not his kindness for someone he helped. I just dont want their love to be sudden simply cuz yuki needs happy ending. oh well~ I’m sure whatever it will be, the anime will give it utmost attention.

That sad moment when kagura wasnt allowed a moving image. lol. girl was given a still image that didnt even move with the breeze! T_T

Not gonna lie... the scene with kazuma & kyo was underwhelming. Why the wide shot? I mean you dont need budget for that. Just give me a closeup from the waist up with kyo head buried in kazuma’s chest. Dont need to waste budget on kazuma’s face, either.... do the old trick of hair covering eyes & show me glittery tears~  why the awkward shot of kazma towering in his own house! how tall is this man & why cant he he fix his roof?...lol

Also, shigure, you got scars man... who can hurt shigure? akito? gotta be her. I dont think hatori scratches...lol.. Aya? nah~ too busy with Mine! yup, akito... another steamy night? could be, she’s changed as he wish now. But scratching a face is weird while..um..kissing? a quarrel? but why? I bet she wants him now & we know he wants her....

More on part 2! especially abt the curse’s lore~

[morizoras-cave]

Kid problems (Request)

MCU cast x child!reader, mostly Scarlett Johansson x reader and Mark Ruffalo x reader

Genre: angst, fluff

Request Description: Please may I request a mcu cast x child!reader where the kids the daughter of a new female superhero actor (made up) and the cast finds up she’s been verbally/ physically abusive so the kid and confront the lady about it and comfort the kid? You don’t have to if this makes you uncomfortable though!

Warnings: physical and emotional child abuse, language, mean insults, bad mom

(A/N): i thought i wasn’t going to write today but i had a (not so) busy day and i fell asleep for like three hours and now i cant sleep, so here we are! ya’ll i feel like this one kinda sucks but lets not talk about it. not proofread as always

“Stay quiet and be polite, and for God’s sake, don’t be so clumsy like you always are!” your mother spoke roughly, eyes on the road in front of her. “Knocking things over and ruining everything..”

“I won’t,” you mumbled quietly. 

She had recently made her big break as an actor, landing the role as Abigail Brand in the Marvel universe. As far as you understood, she had met her coworkers a few weeks ago and it had went well. 

Now, she was bringing you to meet them, because apparently they had spoken about how it was cool for kids to see a movie set, and your mom had run out of excuses not to bring you.

You were determined to be quiet and polite and to not be clumsy. All you wanted was to please your mother and make her proud. She just always seemed so angry. But that was your fault.

“Alright, we’re here,” your mother sighed. She exited the car and opened your door, practically dragging you out of the vehicle and into the filming area. You didn’t really understand anything or what anything was, so you just stayed quiet and stayed close to your mother, although avoiding touching her. She was always extra violent after you did so.

“M/n! You’re here, and with this little nugget?” a man with a funny beard and cool sunglasses came up to you. He smiled and then crouched down to your level. Your mom laughed awkwardly. “What’s your name?”

“Uh, Y-Y/n.” 

The man smiled at you and you smiled back cautiously, looking to your mom to see if it was okay. She seemed annoyed like always. 

“She’s shy, huh?” the man joked, and got up again. You watched, anxious to mess up. Maybe this time you could finally satisfy your mother and stop being such a useless child.

“Yeah, she is. I try to tell her to be more talkative, but she’s just naturally like this,” your mom smiled warmly at the man. Now you were even more confused. Did she want you to talk more? No, right?

You were introduced to the rest of them. Their names were Robert, Mark, Chris, Chris (again), Jeremy and Scarlett. They were very nice to you. They were very careful and caring, and it made you wish your mom was like that. 

You mostly just watched them work and talk. Eventually you sat down drawing, because you were bored.

“Can I see that?” Scarlett asked, gesturing to the drawing you were working on. You shyly nodded and stopped drawing, putting the crayons down. “Woow, that’s so pretty!” 

You shook your head, “no, it’s not.” Scarlett looked at you in confusion. 

“Why would you say that?” she asked, caressing your arm carefully. 

“My mama says my drawings are bad,” you mumbled. Scarlett looked up at your mom in confusion. Your mom was already dashing over to you, having heard the conversation.

“She means her nana, I call my mom mama and so she calls her mama.. My mom is not very good around kids,” your mom explained away. You furrowed your brows. You didn’t mean nana? You and mama stopped talking to nana long ago. 

Scarlett, who had previously tensed up, relaxed and let out an understanding laugh, “oh! I got worried there for a second!”

Your mom made a strained smile and then looked down at you. She had that glint in her eyes, although her face was friendly, you could tell she was disappointed. You teared up right then and there, so tired of disappointing her.

“Alright, Y/n, let’s go to the bathroom,” she grabbed your small hand roughly, and pulled you away from the nice adults. Tears rolling down your face, as your mom brought you into the women’s bathroom. 

“You little-” she cut herself off, gritting her teeth and checking if there were people in the stalls. There weren’t and she turned back to you with that angry face. 

“How dare you? Can’t you ever just stay quiet like I tell you to? You useless child! You were a mistake!” she hissed. It hurt you so bad, it felt so bad, and your crying worsened as you attempted to stammer out an apology. 

Your mother slapped you across the face. “Stop crying, you nuisance,” she said and indeed you forced yourself to stop crying. You held it in, trembling. 

Meanwhile Scarlett and Mark had been walking past the bathrooms, when they heard the slap. Of course, to them it could’ve been a lot of things. They exchanged glances, and Scarlett had said that she’d check it out. 

She walked quietly into the echoing bathroom, stopping when she heard the sound of angry and aggressive whispers.

“You’re so stupid and useless. You have no talent. Just stay quiet from now on! Shut the fuck up.” 

Scarlett was shocked to hear your mother’s voice. It took a moment for Scarlett to realize who she was talking to, and the thought drew a very real gasp out of her. Now, not giving two shits, she stepped away from the wall to see your mother crouched down in front of you, an almost animalistic expression on her face.

“M/n! How dare you!” was all she could say. Her instant reaction was to simply walk over to you, and get you away from your mother, but as she tried to your mother grabbed your arm. The both of them tugged at you.

“Get away from my baby!” your mom yelled. The commotion drew Mark to enter the bathroom, bewildered at the situation. Your mom and Scarlett both tugging at you, and you in the middle, red face and puffy eyes, conflicted as ever.

“What’s going on here?”

Mark’s sudden presence startled your mother, and in a moment of surprise, she let go and you fell into Scarlett’s grasp. She picked you up in her arms, and just started walking out of the bathroom.

Mark followed, looking between you and your mother. Scarlett didn’t know where she walking, but far from that witch. 

“M/n was- she was saying these horrible things to Y/n. Like, seriously horrible things,” Scarlett said. Meanwhile she rubbed your back and held you close, something that made you feel so nice inside. Your mother never did that. 

“I think what we heard was- Like, a slap?” Scarlett said, and when she met Mark’s eyes, he too had gotten a serious and worried look in them. He turned to you, resting on Scarlett’s chest.

“N/n, uh, did your mom hurt you, by any chance?” he asked and you stirred from your resting place.

“Hurt?”

“Like, hit you in any way?” 

“Mhmm,” your simple hum, like it was the most normal thing in the world, made the two adults’ hearts sink. 

“ScarJo, Ruffalo!” Chris (Hemsworth) greeted, but his cheerful welcome, did nothing to cheer up the two shaken adults. 

“Downey, you gotta call the Russos and tell them to get another Abigail Brand,” Mark instructed, while Scarlett put you down on the couch and then looked down the hallway to see if your mom was running after you. Ominously, she was nowhere to be seen. Scarlett couldn’t decide what was worse: if she had run after you, or the fact that she just left you. 

“What? We’re weeks into filming?” Chris (Evans) exclaimed. Him and Jeremy were sitting by a table behind Robert and the other Chris. 

Scarlett gave them knowing look and pulled up the sleeve of your small, purple sweater. Your tiny arm was littered with bruises, now and old. The others’ eyes widened, and there was a moment of silence where everyone looked at each other in confusion, anger and hurt. 

“I’ll go talk to them,” Downey said, smiling to you softly, before disappearing to somewhere else on set. 

“Where is M/n now?” Chris (Evans) asked. Him and the other two, Jeremy and Chris (the other one), seemed much angrier (not that the others weren’t but perhaps a different type of angry).

“I don’t know, I think she left in the opposite direction,” Scarlett murmured and Mark nodded. Without a word, Chris, Chris and Jeremy stood up and started walking down the hallway to find your mom.

You just watched in confusion mostly, as everyone scattered purposefully. Mark and Scarlett then finally turned to you. 

“Where’s mama?” you asked innocently. The two shook their heads.

“Your mom isn’t good for you..” You furrowed your brows. 

“What do you mean? Does she not want to be with me anymore? Can you tell her I’m trying really hard? I don’t why, but I keep messing up,” you said, your lip trembling. You could cry again. Was your mother leaving you, disappointed in your work at being a good daughter? 

“No, no.. Your mom is the one is that wasn’t good enough for you. Moms shouldn’t hit and yell at their kid like that..” Scarlett sighed, holding your hand comfortingly. 

“Oh..” was all you said. Your mom was fired and the proper authorities were called. You didn’t really know what happened, but somehow your entire day-to-day changed. You started talking to a nice lady, who was trying to explain to you why your mom was bad. You still didn’t understand it, but hopefully you would in the future.  

You were adopted by some very nice old people. The adults from that day stayed in touch with them, and sometimes some of them came over with their kids and you played together. 

The day you met them, changed your entire life, and when you did grow up, and you realized why your mom was ‘bad’, you felt eternally grateful to them, for putting your life on a better course. And you made sure to let them know, when you did meet them every once in a while. They were just happy to see that you were seemingly unscathed by this, and that your mom’s evil actions hadn’t ruined you in any way. You were happy and bright and you could thank it all to them. :)

___________________________

Tag List:

@hera-the-writer​ @marvel-madness​ @40srogcrs​ @whatthefuckimbisexual​ @ireadfanficforfun

[frenchphobic]

long fucking post on why a c!dream is a shitty person and probably should not have a redemption because it is unpog

honestly i just want to refute dream apologists thats why im making this post. i think that dream as a villain is interesting but i think that trying to make him out to be secretly a good guy is just bad ngl. also /roleplay and all

tw for abuse and mentions of suicide

dream as a villain

dream is a villain. he is chaotic evil according to wilbur, deliberately does not stream to appear less sympathetic (and yet), and is set up as an antagonist to tommy who bears the title ‘hero’. dream is not a good person, no matter how you look at it or try to justify his actions.

‘but he wants to unite everyone to be a big family :((’ the ends dont justify the means believe it or not. having a vaguely positive goal does not excuse the actions you’ve done. it also goes hand and hand with saying dream is correct for punishing tommy the way he did because he acted up. if i socked you across the face and then suddenly said ‘sorry there was a roach on ur face’ does that make it okay? probably not i still punched you, enacting an unnecessary amount of violence. thats a very simple analogy i will admit and there are more complex comparisons. another example off the top of my head is say a child just scribbled all over you walls with crayons. would hitting them be a justified answer? if u said hes thats really fucked of u go seek help u loon. violence as a punishment is very toxic, just because it gets the job done does not mean it is okay. at the end of the day, you still committed this act and the harm you caused is real, having a good motive doesnt suddenly make it okay.

‘but tommy causes all of the conflict’ the disk war wasnt even caused by tommy, it was sapnap and then tommy got involved. and the reason why tommy even caused conflict was because of the discs, because he wanted them back. and most of the time there was a level of antagonism from another party, such as schlatt exiling him, dream taking the disks in the first place, dream threatening l’manberg. and if dream wanted to end the conflict so badly, why didnt he just give tommy back his disks? tommy upfront said everything started with the disks, so he wants them back so he could end the conflict. notice how after tommy got his disks back he has been staying out of conflict, apologizing to everyone, and the only bad thing hes done is try to scam people but everyone does that. this would have been the most peaceful option, yet dream chose the path that would further antagonize tommy which then draws everyone else into conflict. why did dream need to have leverage over tommy so badly? why did he want to hold power over tommy so badly? its because of control, and that’s ultimately dreams end goal. sure he wants a big server family, but would said family have a free will?

‘but dream is sad’ the thing is dream is completely at fault for everything that happened to him. he pushed away sapnap (and george ig). he tried to take control over the server and their possessions. literally everything that happened to tommy. literally everything involving ranboo. villains can be sympathetic, i am not arguing against that. but it does not mean that they should be left off the hook. that doesnt mean u should ignore the shit theyve done because ‘oh no theyre sad’ because it doesnt make anything better. dream had this shit coming for him.

now people also skirt around calling dream an abuser. which is fair ig, its a very loaded word. its much easier to say manipulated. that being said, dream can classify as abusive. and no, tommy is not abusive. abuse is about control and a power imbalance. dream has power over tommy, but tommy does not have power over dream, at least not in the way dream does. he’s taking back power to stand up for himself, dream uses power to control.

the reasons i listed for why dream is from the Domestic Abuse Intervention Project so if u want a source on that, there you go.

using coercion or threats: dream often threatened tommy, such as the pit thing and often employed violence on him. while normally this could be attributed to Normal Minecraft Player Go Smack. minecraft mechanics cannot always translate to real world since violence is pretty normal in minecraft however we also need to consider the context of the scene. dream gave an order, tommy refused, dream applies violence, tommy submitted. thats why its a threat, it has tangible effects that can correlate to real life.

using intimidation: dream blew up logsteadshire as a punishment. dream also destroyed tommys items anytime he visited. dream also hit tommy with his axe i believe. he killed mushroom henry, one of tommys pets.

Using Emotional Abuse: dream guiltripped the shit out of tommy for just hiding things and pinning the blame on tommy for just wanting his own private items. he definitely played mind games on tommy, pretending to be his friend. honestly i probably dont even need to go as in depth because it was so obvious.

Using Isolation: putting him in exile in the first place. destroying the bether portal so no one could visit tommy anymore. i really dont think i need to expand upon that.

Minimizing, Denying, and Blaming: dream in tommys stream when he got trapped said that exile wasnt that bad. he does shift the blame onto tommy for logsteadshire being blown up, even though dreams reaction was entirely unjustified for not listening and hiding.

Using Economic Abuse: see this is where i attempt to parallel minecraft mechanics to real life. obviously, there is no monetary system in place, so when i mean economic, i will use valuables such as armor, food, etc in place of currency. the idea behind economic abuse is to limit the victim’s resources so that they are dependent on the abuser and cannot escape. dream only really allowed tommy to have the armor he gave him while not giving access to armor so he does not regain a sense of power, and in the prison stream, dream holds all the potatoes which puts him in a position of power over tommy. this argument is more ambiguous i feel cause the whole minecraft mechanics thing is kinda weird so u don’t necessarily have to take this part in.

i feel like i need to emphasize this very strongly because dream is not a good person. abuse cannot and should not be a response to someone. its an awful mentality to have. i just want to prove the point that dream is not a good person, his reasons absolutely do not justify his actions.

what makes a good redemption

redemption arcs are tricky. when done right they are great. when done poorly, its a slap in the face. rn im going to establish a formula to what makes a good redemption with an example.

the most well known example of a good redemption is zuko from atla. first, its the magnitude of what theyve done and why. zuko did commit some shitty actions, since he was in a position of power in the fire nation but its because he is a child being abused and wanted to regain honor. zukos real awful acts was season 1 and the whole betrayal thing. thats not to say that zukos actions suddenly are okay, he did shitty things. but its something that can be traced to a higher entity or seem less malicious then the other villains. the thing also about the magnitude of actions is that there is a certain point of atrocities that there is no redemption. some people simply cannot be redeemed because the actions they commit are so ingrained in their character or the action itself has serious moral issues that it would just be wrong.

the next is acknowleding what they did was wrong. a genuine reflection on the self and analyzing what they did and why it was not okay. zuko realized what he did to uncle iroh was bad for example. he turned his back on his father, realizing he didnt and shouldnt seek acknowledgment from someone as heinous as him. its pointing out your actions and going ‘hey, this wasnt right i should not have done this’ and not even excusing ur actions. its also going straight for the root of the problem and figuring out to stamp it from the source. just because a character is sad does not mean they are reflecting, sometimes they are attempting to garner pity. it has to be direct and clear acknowledgement of the injustice.

and finally, an important part about redemption arcs is the actual redemption part. its when you make amends. zuko made amends with katara by trying to help her get revenge, he fought against the fire nation and tried to make things more peaceful in his rule. he apologized to iroh. an important part of the amends section is that it does have to be a genuine desire to change and become a better person, not to change a person’s perception of you. the thing is u cant expect a person youve hurt to forgive you. you cant expect people to be sympathetic towards you nor should u attempt to make urself sympathetic. u shouldnt be expecting a pat on the back or an award. redemption is about internal and character change.

why dream should not be redeemed

ive already established the key points to a good redemption (imo) but heres where dream falls short. his actions are extremely heavy so redemption may not even really be possible. abuse is not something you can wave off so it does cross to the point of fucked up. acknowledgement of what he did was wrong? all he said was that he changed, yet never explained why he changed or was too vague. he needed to label specifically what he did and bring it up. attempting to make amends? he’s been doing the exact opposite in fact he continues to manipulate tommy and ranboo. its not a genuine change. he is still repeating the cycle and has given no indication of ceasing. at the moment he does not have any signs of redemption.

and the thing is most of the attention around a dream redemption comes from either justifying his motives (which i do want to emphasize does not make anything suddenly okay) and because he is sad in prison sad face. these are not good reasons. its gonna pain me severely to bring this up but snape from harry potter does have some form of sad character ig yet he very much abused his authority to bully children as old as 11 just because he said ‘aight gonna die’ doesnt suddenly make his general bigotry and abuse suddenly okay there is a threshold. again im so sorry for using harry potter as an example none were coming to mind and i needed a popular one i do not like harry potter please dont say i do i would pass away.

and the last thing to consider is the audience. keep in mind that the audience is composed of minors and while yes there are adults, minors are the main component of the fandom. keep in mind that there are quite a few people who can relate to tommys character because they might be in the same position or have gone through his experiences. tell me what kind of message does it send to that audience that abusers can be redeemed. this is not a narrative u should push to this audience in these situations and the writers are seemingly aware of it. remember how in exile tommy spiraled into a suicidal mentality? consider how fucked of a message it would be if he just committed suicide instead of escaping abuse and attempting to recover from his experiences. tommy did an excellent job in not going that route and having a message of ‘it will not get better’. its the same thing here. victims are not obligated to care for or forgive their abuser, and portraying an abuser as sympathetic might fuck with the message a lot, even change their perception in that ‘oh, maybe my abuser was right, maybe they had a reason for treating me the way they did’. this is not to say that every victim watching this will internalize this message, but people also look up to these characters. there can be a degree of influence from the story onto oneself and thats the dangerous part.

conclusion

all in all dream is a shitbag asshole and probably shouldnt get a redemption because it would not be pog thanks for coming to my ted talk.

[kaaytea]

aaahhhh i cant believe this hasnt been requested yet! ryosuke dating headcanons! <3 <3 <3

Thank you for feeding my Ryo obsession, anon :')) 💖

Ryousuke dating hcs

-------------------------------------------

If Ryousuke has a crush literally nobody would know about it

He's sneaky and will definitely hide his emotions and personal troubles from people

He'd probably wait a bit before he confesses so he can be absolutely sure that he wants a relationship with that person

He's cautious and likes to think things through completely before he takes action

He's pretty blunt with you, definitely doesn't beat around the bush when confessing

Will do anything in his power to get you flustered so he flirts and makes risqué comments a lot

Just because you're his s/o doesn't mean you get a free pass when it comes to his teasing

Pinching your cheeks, bopping you on the head, sly remarks...

He knows all the right buttons to push to get you flustered/annoyed

(he doesn't do this as a mean thing though, it's all in good fun. He loves to see you get flustered and struggle to form sentences around him.)

You'll have to understand that he teases you because he loves you, if you're truly bothered by it you're probably not the right fit for him

Ryousuke is sO protective of you!!!

He heard someone make inappropriate comments about you once and uh.... Let's just say they came to school with a broken nose the next day 😶

You're his baby and he never wants to see you get hurt. He'd probably blame himself if you did for some reason

I've said this once before and I still stick by it, he's got no shame at all

Will kiss/make out with you in front of people just to be all, "don't even think about looking at them, they're already taken" sorta deal

Not the biggest on holding hands but will do it if you really want

He's more inclined to rest a hand on your waist or hip and pull you into his side

Loves having quite time with you

It's basically a chance for him to read his horror novels and have you curled up next to or on top of him :))

He may come off as mean but he's an absolute softy for you 💖

This is kind of unrelated but Haruichi is basically your little brother now and he looks up to you just as much as he does Ryo :'))......so please be nice to him

Ryo tends to neglect himself and prioritize baseball over his health so please pay attention to him

He's so used to taking care of other people -and can be pretty prideful at times- so he's gonna be very stubborn about accepting and admitting he needs rest

Just be very direct with him and he'll listen

Ryousuke can get very touchy with you

He's not a clingy person it's more that he likes skin to skin contact with you plus he's the definition of possessive

If you ever wore his jersey he'd be sO smug about it 🙄

He enjoys cuddling with you but I don't think it happens consistently. He's gotta be in the mood for it

When you do cuddle he usually has an arm around you and you're pulled up against his chest

He uses this time to just look at you and appreciate your pretty face

On the surface Ryousuke seems like a fairly cold guy but he's the complete opposite in a relationship. Yes he will tease you 24/7 and he can be a bit stubborn, but deep down he truly does love you. You play a special role in his life and, without even noticing it, you became his rock. You're the person he goes to for stability and without fear of being acknowledged just for his skills on the field; sometimes it's nice to be seen as just Kominato Ryousuke rather than a Seidou baseball player. This is becoming way longer than I expected but yeah, Ryo loves you with every fiber of his being so don't you ever doubt that

[sainadazai]

When your crush is angry all the time

Ch.6

"A red haired bitch that glows"

2nd person pov

°•○●○•°•○●○•°•○●○•°

You weren't sure how things could even possibly move so quick, but as fire burned and terrifying creatures tormented citizens, all You could do was stand. Nomus, is what endeavour called them. Some gross being that seemed to have multiple quirks, you'd never seen anything like them. 

Even with all of the times you'd been beaten and interrogated and harassed by villains, nothing like this ever happened. It could have been the fact that you spent most of your young life hiding away in a castel in the middle of nowhere, but seeing all this destruction froze you in place. 

"Kid, help get the citizens out of here! Do not engage in combat, understand? Hey! L/n!"

You broke the terrified stare that was burning into the ruined city streets to meet eyes with your boss. He seemed so calm, even though everything was going wrong. The world was quite literally burning. Those monsters were hurting people. There were screams of horror, and still his calm demeanor was all you could focus on. How was he so calm? 

"Now!"

His yell broke You from your trance and you scrambled around, eyes searching for someone, anyone to get the hell out of here. However there wasn't just one, there were hundreds. Some under building scraps, trapped behind fire burning the streets. Too many people, too much noise, it was never this loud back home. Why could you just focus?! 

One of those boys from earlier today let our scream. You only recognized it because it was the same as how he'd screamed at bakugou earlier. You whipped your head around looking for his sound, body, anything. Spinning in circles until you caught that little red shirt cowering beneath one of those things. 

"Hold on, i'm coming!" You didn't know if he could hear you, the statement was more a confirmation to yourself. You wouldn't stand there cowering. You didnt wanna be the helpless princess waiting to be saved. You were going to save others, it was like an instinct, like you had to. 

Being unsure of your abilities with vines and plants, you opted to use a power long ago mastered. Twirling your pointer finger in a circle to slowly collect wind into a tiny ciclone and build it up bigger and bigger. This action disrupted the wind in the area, some of the bystanders' hair began flowing with the force of it, getting shivers from the chill. 

Then with all the focus you could muster you let your eyes bored right into the head of that nomu aiming with your mind and following the action with your finger. Then, with a snap, the ciclone flew off towards it, lifting it into the air and growing larger the more he struggled. 

You felt the pressure of all that wind, and its body on your back. Hundreds of pounds of pressure on your spine, but adrenaline forced you forward. Sprinting to the boy in the red shirt, crouching down under all that weight to wipe away his tears. You completely ignored how underdressed you were and brought his small form into a tight embrace, whispering sweet nothings to which you didn't know you could say. 

It all felt so wrong, so opposite to what you wanted, but you couldn't help it. Grazing the lasso on your thigh an idea sprouted in your mind as to how you could get this crushing weight off of your back. You let the boy down telling him to stay behind you. 

Don't engage in combat. 

Do not engage. 

Get them out of here. 

Ignoring your mentors words, you snatched the lasso off of your thigh, doing as you were taught and lighting it ablaze, if your mother was thinking straight, she'd have it made of mineral wool- fire retardant and easily manipulated. The flames would not be actually catching on anything but the air, therefore saving her from an uncontrollably fire. 

As it lit up your hair not only changed, but shined a bright red. It was so brilliant that it lit up the area around you, the boy behind you shocked and the people in the vicinity scared. 

However, you had a hero suit on. That meant to them, that you were trustworthy. 

You swing the lasso all but twice above your head before releasing the ciclone, and the pressure on your back, and whipping it towards the monster. 

It had activated some sort of electricity quirk once free from the wind and as the lasso made contact, rather than burning and bringing the nomu to the ground, it sent a high-powered electrical current through your already spent body. 

You should have stopped there, tossed the kid out of the way and called for help. Yet, for some reason you couldn't. Being shocked only numbed the pain on your spine more, and upped your adrenaline. Bad news for mr.nomu, huh? 

"Whew, that's one way to boost your energy huh, kid?"

 You smirked back at the worried boy behind you, hoping a joke would lighting the mood now. Similar to how you would joke in class yo avoid any real emotions or connections. 

Only, now, it held the benefit of an adorable smirk appearing on his face and a little giggle exciting his mouth. 

"Watch this!" 

Despite being electrocuted your lasso was still intact, so you took to attacking it around the monster's leg and pulling back towards you. Once it was too close for your liking, you shot a roundhouse kick into the empty space in front of you. It seemed like a fruitless action, until the surrounding citizens noticed how the wind around them mirrored your actions with equal force. 

The nomu went flying out of the city, likely landing somewhere around hosu (😏Yes, hosu) and you released the pressure on your leg. 

As soon as you took the time to inhale, your back gave out, and you fell to the ground. 

However you hadn't given up, using the little burst you could make with your fingers, you shot several people away from the mess with winds. Then, after what you counted to be person number 34, you gave out and the world went black. 

The heroes in the area who were not distracted by nomus had been paying close attention to your actions, surprised they haven't seen you in the sports festival, or anywhere for that matter. 

Mr. Woods was disappointed at the initiative you took, knowing how injured you must be from being out of practice with most parts of your quirk. However when endeavour informed the other pros of some sort of incident in hosu, he was forced to leave you there. Limp body cold against the concrete. 

When doctors and healers arrived, you were one of the first in an ambulance and on the road to the hospital, and the news reports of your body being wheeled off were matched with that of your battle with the nomu. Streaming across all platforms and displaying on one particular tv screen, in the hotel room of one fire quirked boy. 

A boy who truly was noticing he had no idea what you were capable of. A boy who was angry you'd been holding it back in class. One who had been thinking of the way you spoke of fire to that little boy all day, and above all a boy who was entranced by the glow of your hair when it turned red. 

Bakugou wasn't sure how to process these overwhelming feelings towards you, the stalker girl who said dumb shit about his eyes. Still, after seeing that video, the feeling your own eyes held, staring up at that devilish creature. He could no longer say he didn't know what you meant by being obsessed with the look in his eyes. He was now too. 

A six year old girl struggled against her restraints tirelessly. She has a power that she doesn't know how to use, and yet these men want to take it from her. There is one door exit, it's blocked by tall men in black suits. The whole room echoes with screams from children. It crashes against the walls and her little ears, and she cant get it to stop. 

Why was this happening to her? Why couldn't she do anything to stop it? 

"Please, just let my brother go! Please I'll do anything. Im sorry. Im sorry. Plea-"

Her words are stopped by a suffocating hand, larger than her whole face, it reeks of bleach. Her little eyes can only release so many tears before they are running over the hands knuckles, wetting his skin with her despair. The man doesn't care, though. The men never seem to care. 

Her brother, only two years old, cries in a stranger's arms. The stranger showed her how he could completely disassemble any object, or put it back together. What a horrible powerful quirk. With something like that, she really couldn't tell why he needed hers too. Still, he did. 

So the tiny boy whined in his firm hold, terrified, but not sure why. They both just wanted their Mommy. Mommy always comes to save them, she and her friends will take them home. To the castle, with the comfy beds, the pillowy blankets that their small bodies float on like clouds. 

Not this rough metal wall, with arms chained, and bruises forming from their so-called interrogation. Why didn't they understand? 

She doesn't know how to give her quirk away. She is only six, after all. 

Mommy told her that men are greedy. Men like these have all they want and still need more. They take things, without asking. They took her and her brother without asking, so where was Mommy? To tell these men that you aren't supposed to take things, or hit people. 

Where are their mommies? Did no one tell them hitting people is bad? Especially smaller people. Is that why the men are bad? Because they didn't have a Mommy or daddy to tell them how to be good? The little girl is lost in a pit of sympathy. Sympathy that she does not owe these horrible men, yet she can't help it. 

"I don't give a shit princess, your brother can go home when you give us the quirk."

"Mommy never told me how! I'm sorry míster that you don't have a mo-mommy!" She sobre through the rough palm over her mouth. At the response he removed his grip, though. Opting to allow the girl her voice. 

"P-please. I'm sorry, I'm sorry no one told you not to be mean. It's okay though! My Mommy will come, she'll tell you, okay! Please j-just-" though her words held great meaning to those men in suits-bad men- she couldn't finish. Her sobs were too loud and violent. Her little arms shook, because though she was such a sweet little girl,she was terrified. 

Her cheeks hurt from screaming and tensing to release tears.  Her arms hurt from being suspended at her sides. Her little legs had lost all feeling, gone numb under the pressure of standing for so long. She just wanted to go home, to keep her brother safe. 

Even being only six, she felt so stupid for being so helpless. It was her job to protect their family quirk, but she wanted to give it up. More so, even though she wanted to give it away, she didn't even know how. 

A small, weak girl, helpless really. She never wanted to be helpless like that again. 

"Now!" His hand collided with her cheek. Hard, swinging, jaw snapping pressure. It rang through her ears, like her baby brothers sobs, til she shot up from her bed. 

-

-

-

Sweat covered by/ns face as she jolted awake in her bed. Around her were some unrecognizable faces, or that's what she thought at first. Except, in truth, they were simply blurred in her eyes. 

As she was taught when she was little, she began recounting things to herself that might make her come back to reality. Might help ease the fear of her dream. 

- I am not 6 years old 

-my brother is at home in the castle 

-im not in a warehouse 

-those men are in prison 

-i am alive 

As she was repeating each of those truths in her head, her eyesight began to come back so that she could recognize the faces of those around her. Three boys: todoroki, midoriya, and iida. 

Midoriya was furthest from her, as she now noticed she was on a bed. Then iida, and closest was todoroki. The familiarity of his stone face gave y/n great comfort. However, he looked troubled.

The three boys in the hospital room with her were truthfully at a loss. This girl who had been at their school for one week, had proved more honest and heroic than them. After being scolded by the chief of police, they were each confronting their own feelings about the events.

However, each came to the conclusion that y/n was the only participating hero-in-training that followed the rules and fought earnestly. Little did they know, she had been breaking rules too, except her wouldn't be hid so easily. 

What were the police meant to do, a teenage girl-princess no less- save countless lives, that heroes were neglecting, and its broadcast all over japan. Unlike in the boys' case, where the media didn't even have to know, everyone had already seen her heroism, but they had no idea where she came from. 

Some viewers pointed out her position as a princess, but no one expected to see her in a hero outfit anytime soon. They knew what happened was illegal, but what backlash would they face for arresting her. Could they even arrest her? 

Still, all y/n knew was that she was scared, and she needed to hide it as deep within her as it could reach. No one likes a cry baby, anyway. 

"Oh..uh, hey guys?"

The first to look up was the green haired, face widening in surprise and worry. 

"Y/n! Y-you're up!? Wait, don't sit up yet..um they said your bac-"

"You left damage on all your thoracic vertebrae. You could have killed yourself with that amount of pressure!" 

Todoroki interrupted. Face still void of emotion, but his voice held anger. 

Making sure to agnowledged how touched she was that he cared at all, y/n then quickly brushed it off. In the mood for jokes, not fights. She just finished fighting, why would she wanna argue some more about it? 

"Aww~todoroki, were you worried about me?"

"Yes. It was stupid of you to use your quirk like that, out of practice and such." 

"Um-"

"There's no um. he is right y/n, i didn't know your quirk could do that, but you obviously haven't been keeping it in practice during class, that was really risky..." midoriya added on in a ramble. 

Feeling a bit cornered she settled for sighing and staring up at the ceiling. 

"Can I walk?"

"No" 

"Why not?"

"Did you not here the whole vertebrae thing, i-"

"No, I did, but I don't feel any pain...is it not healed?"

"I'm not really sure, we can ask.."

So slowly but surely, the boys helped her sit up, and yes, she did feel an immense pain shoot through her. Additionally, she was compensated with shoto conspiracizing about his negativo afecta on peoples hands, getting to know these classmates better. They even let her in on why they were in the hospital to begin with. 

She would have to admit, though these boys being around made her happy, she was still thinking about bakugou. Was he in the area during the fight? Is he okay? Why do I give a shit about that mean old fact face anyway? Oh, right. His eyes. 

The rest of her time was spent ignoring the extreme trauma these events reminded her of, and fantasizing about those angry eyes. 

Bakugou pov 😡

°•○●○•°•○●○•°•○●○•°

There the bitch was, right on my hotel tv screen, fighting the same fight on replay. Those media bastards hasn't stopped talking about her all day. How even when she was barely alive on the ground, she kept saving people. 

I know it wasn't about me, hell, I wasn't even there, but it feels like a taunt. Some karma cause I called her an entitled princess, or her purposefully saying "Look what I can do." 

Well I fucking am. Looked like some sort of wind quirk, but I saw her use fire with those kids, and in class she makes that plant shit. So what the hell is she? She thinks having multiple quirks makes her better than me? Good enough she doesn't have to use them all just to beat me? Thats bullshit. 

I'm just so fucking angry at her for it, but I have to be. Or else, the next time they show her shitty face on that shitty screen, looking

...shitty, i'll start to worry. 

That maybe she has only been here for a week, but she is already gone. That the whole time at school she spent avoiding me, to make me happy. Worrying I'll never hear her say what she looks at in my eyes. 

In her eyes, that night, I saw pure rage. It almost looked as if she couldn't control it. An impending anger that loomed over her, and controlled her; made her strong. Not stronger than me, but strong. 

Still, I can't go "falling for'' every girl that I see with strength. If a dunce 's face hadn't told me that feeling I had at the festival was a crush, I could have spared myself a week worth of it, I don't even know what. 

Stupid dunce face. 

Now, though, that shitty princess, even if she is shitty. Well, she has at least my respect. 

[softkuna]

playlist

›  𝚋𝚘𝚔𝚞𝚝𝚘 𝚡 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛 𝚡 𝚔𝚞𝚛𝚘𝚘

› 𝚙𝚘𝚕𝚢. 𝚙𝚛𝚘𝚋𝚊𝚋𝚕𝚢 𝚐𝚛𝚊𝚖𝚖𝚊𝚛 𝚒𝚜𝚜𝚞𝚎𝚜. 𝚜𝚎𝚕𝚏 𝚒𝚗𝚍𝚞𝚕𝚐𝚎𝚗𝚝 𝚠𝚑𝚘𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎 𝚟𝚒𝚋𝚎𝚜. 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎𝚜 𝚊 𝚙𝚕𝚊𝚢𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚝.

›  𝟸𝟷𝟿𝟻𝚔

You had a shit day. You got pegged in the face with a volleyball so hard, you could practically taste the concussion as you sprawled backwards. Luckily, the medic ok’d you to keep playing. Unluckily, the whole ordeal happened right in front of a pro team’s scouting manager. The embarrassment alone made you want to hide under a rock until next season. To make it all sting just a little bit more, Bokuto and Kuroo had their own games to attend, so it wasn’t like you could curl up in Kuroo’s dorm like you might’ve before. Bokuto was only in town for a few days, too, and you were certain he’d be practicing or playing the whole weekend. So instead, you sigh as you walk onto the train by campus, shooting a text to the tweedle-dee and tweedle-dum.

🗨️We lost :( I think I broke my nose. And my careeeeeeer

  Bokuto’s fingers rapid-fire replied, followed my Kuroo’s more casual pace.

  🗯️BROKEN NOSE?!! ARE YOU OK???

🗯️Wait how did u lose? Aren’t they good luck????

💬That’s a broken leg, bruh.

💬Sorry babe. You’re not concussed, though, right?

🗨️I’m fine ^^” just pulled a hina

🗯️Hows a broken leg good luck? U cant play on that THAT SHIT HURTS 😱 😱

🗨️👀 👀 👀

🗨️Bo pls

  As you sat on the train, you quietly snorted to yourself. Bokuto was an amazing player and an even better boyfriend, but sometimes you thought his muscles squeezed out a braincell or two.

💬Saw the clip on twitter. hows your face? I’m sure its still hot

  You scoffed with a roll of your eyes. Kuroo, flirtatious as always, but your reflexive smile matched the tone of your text.

🗨️If hot = busted, then sure 🙄

🗯️HEY UR HOT 😘 😘 SHUDDUP

  By the way their texts disjointedly pieced together before coming to a halt, you knew their matches started. You locked your screen with a sigh. Whether it was the ace’s ADHD-induced impulse thoughts or the blocker’s humorously blunt honesty, the two had always managed to spike your spirits high and block the anxieties that crept over the net. Without their distractions, the day replayed in 4K across the theater of your mind. Back slumped against the seat, you could feel the heaviness of it drag you down to the ocean floor.

  But now here you were, walking to your apartment with no reprieve from the disappointment. Rather than doing your adult responsibilities like clean, cook, or generally care past a shower, you slept. It was a deep, blank sleep. The type where you know you’d wake up feeling that eerie calm in the dead of night.

    Brightness blared next to your pillow – invading your vision as it violently vibrated against your hand. A loud ring attacked your half-concious hearing, jolting your heart like a jumpstarted engine. Quick reflexes enacted before you could stop the near Olympic vault of your phone into the wall across the bed.

  “You’ve got to be kidding me… who the hell….” You tear the blankets off, shivering at the cold as you pick the device back up. Thank your lord and savior, Asahi, for gifting you an Otter Box for Christmas.

  A gentle gasp left your lips as you saw a slew of missed texts from the dynamic duo. Oh no. Oh no. You felt horrendous. Your phone lit up as a photo of Kuroo with a French fry up his nose vibrated to life.

  As fast as your fingers could, you slid to answer, “He-“

  “-LLO WE ARE OUTSIDE ARE YOU COMING OR WHAT?!” Bokuto hollered into the mic, practically blowing out the speaker with sheer vocal force.

  “Holy shit, Bo! What? What do you mean?” Cautiously, the screen was brought closer to your cheek again, ghosting about a centimeter for your hearing’s safety.

  “Don’t you check your phone, hot-stuff? We’re going for a drive,” Kuroo honked the horn, echoing through the window and phone.

  Sure enough, the string of texts was about a drive and a half-planned plan of action. Thrilled enthusiasm rippled through you. You didn’t even think you’d get to see Bokuto this visit let alone with Kuroo! Praise the scheduling gods!

  The phone squished between your shoulder and ear as hands searched for an outfit that wasn’t your hoe shorts and sports bra. You threw on Bokuto’s old Ace’s Way shirt, and on top a near ancient Nekoma varsity jacket. Both items of which were left in your apartment from a get together nearly a year ago, “I’ll be out in a sec!”

  College was difficult. Especially when each of you had gone in somewhat different directions after high school. Kuroo, like yourself, played volleyball in university. And like yourself, nearly ripped his hair out when experiencing the hell that was Macroeconomics with Professor Mori. Bokuto was scouted play volleyball professionally, popping in and out of Tokyo to visit you two. At some point along the way and a slew of confusing budding emotions later, the three of you dove head first into a lovingly symbiotic relationship. It was hard when each of your schedules were chaotic, but worked out for the best as you all strove for your own goals while cheering each other on.

  You grabbed your bag of random things including underwear, extra clothes, and some money.  You never knew with the two of them what may happen and you learned from one wild trip to Osaka that Bokuto’s sense of direction was about as bad as you’d think it’d be.

  Half jogging, you rolled your eyes to the red corvette. Kuroo loved that thing way too much. Through the window, you could see Bokuto lean across the console to open the back driver-side door for you. The grin he wore could’ve fueled the sun itself, “BABE! LIGHT OF MY LIFE! EDGE-LINE STRAIGHT SHOT! WER’RE GOING ON AN ADVENTURE,” His muscular arm stretched to you, calloused hands reaching for you to grab.

  He pulled you you between the seats for a  bear hug, wide chest nearly eating you whole. He was as toasty as always. Or maybe it was just your cheeks. Either way, you were happy to see him, “Missed you, Bo! Sorry for missing the texts.”

  “You were asleep weren’t ya?” Kuroo turned in the driver side, a hand finding its place at the crown of your hair. The lazy pique of his own lop-sided smile greeted your playful glare, which melted into a nod and a sigh. The look he gave softened at the navy-coated aura rolling off you in waves. He stroked your hair once, poking your cheek as his hand passed it, “You’re here. ‘s all that matters. Now, Hoots over here can shut up about your nose, which is… a little fucked up, wow.”

  “You don’t say?” Your expression dead-panned as Bokuto pulled back from you to examine the swollen cartilage. While you wanted them to see the game, you were absolutely glad that they didn’t. Bokuto would have barreled down the bleachers had he seen your wipe out in person. Actually, you recalled a snap from Atsumu; the camera pointed to the tile of a locker room, Bokuto’s howling in the background with a simple caption of ‘You good?’  

  Pulling away from the ace, you sat back into the middle seat, arms resting on the leather between the passenger and driver sides. Kuroo drove with his hands low on the wheel, long digits thwacking the steering wheel to a silent beat. You glanced between the two, suspicious of their matching expressions. You dared ask, “Why’s it so quiet?”

  “Are you saying-“ Kuroo began.

  “-you want some tuunesss?” Bokuto ended giddily.

  He readily tapped a button on his phone, shielding the screen from you protectively. Kuroo’s gaze darted between the dash screen and the road, waiting for whatever shitpost song Bokuto most definitely was about to put on.

  “Guys… what are you-“

  A record scratch.

  I still hear your voice when you sleep next to me.

  “You’re fucking kidding me! Turn it up, turn it up!” Your hand bulleted to the volume, body squeezing past the two to crank up Cascada’s Everytime We Touch until the windows rattled. Kuroo and Bokuto shared a knowing, toothy smirk. Bingo.

  “Forgive me, my weakness, but I don't know why

Without you, it's hard to survive!”

  Duetting with the utmost of dramatics, you and Bokuto reached for some imaginary lover escaping in the distance, opposite hand grasping near your hearts. Kuroo snickered, forever and always amused at how weirdly in-sync the two of you could be. Watching both of you thrash wildly together was probably the most endearing thing he’s seen all day.

  The silveret pumped his fists as you both scream-sang the modern masterpiece. His large hands enveloped yours with enough theatrics to shake the emotion into the chorus:  

  “'Cause every time we touch, I get this feeling

And every time we kiss, I swear I could fly

Can't you feel my heart beat fast? I want this to last

Need you by my side

'Cause every time we touch, I feel the static

And every time we kiss, I reach for the sky

Can't you hear my heart beat so? I can't let you go

Want you in my life!”

  The palm of your hands smacked into their biceps at the last lines, letting the 2000’s synth twinkle into your veins. The vibes in this vehicle were immaculate. Waves that crashed over you, drowning you earlier in the day, receded, leaving sun-warmed sands to dance across. The ones who paved the way were a sarcastic cat and overzealous owl.

  The song was coming to an end and you excitedly whipped between the two, “What’s next?! What’s the playlist?! Link it to me? Please?” You bat your eyelashes at them, Kuroo nudging his chin to the other. The ace hurriedly clicked a few buttons and opened a few apps, radiating delight itself, “Done!” Your phone buzzed with Bokuto’s link. The title of the playlist popped up, overpouring unadulterated admiration into your heart until it warmed up to your cheeks.

  Tunes To Cheer Our Best Babe Up To.

 It was silly, but on brand for the two. All of the songs were added within the last three hours by both boys. Each one of them an absolute banger.

  It was Kuroo’s idea in the beginning. He remembered all the times in high school you’d cry after an exam, near inconsolable until he’d loan you his headphones. Just a few months ago, he caught you throwing it back to the beat of some pop classic after you failed your first semester’s final exams. There’s a video of it somewhere, but he won’t admit to the sin. You know it because you can hear him hyena-laugh in the hallway every so often as Bad Boy riots in the background.

  Bokuto, with all the brilliantly rambunctious enthusiasm the world could give a single human being, added in every song he already had in his likes. All of which he sung with you on every trip until your voices hurt. He even added Mr. Brightside, reminding you of the time he screamed so loud during the chorus that he sounded like a donkey the rest of the day and into his next match. To this very day, the infamous ‘O ᴼO ᵒn ᵉ  TᵒOᵘCʰ’ could be heard in the locker rooms by each teammate in unison.

  You paused as the next song hit, mouth abruptly shutting as the two in the front recited, word-for-word,

  “Man, fuck.”

“What's wrong Bo?”

“Man, these kids, man, talkin' shit, makin' me feel bad.”

“Man, fuck them kids, bro! Look around, hoots, look at life!”

“Man, you're right”

“Mmm, you see? You see this fine bitch right over here?” Kuroo’s long fingers pinched your cheek at the red light, laughing as you jokingly smacked it away.

“Yeah, woah...” Bokuto beamed at you.

“You see these trees man? You see this water?” You snorted as Kuroo’s hand waved to four-way intersection.

“I guess it is okay.”

“Come on, man, you got so much more to appreciate, man.”

“Man you know what, y-you're right...” The words, lyrics or otherwise, still brought a childish scrunch to the ace’s handsome face.

“You damn right I'm right,” Kuroo smirked, taking even the smallest bit of delight out of his perfected timing, “I can't remember a time I was god-damn wrong.”

“Man, thanks, Demon Cat.”

“Hey man, that's what I'm here for.”

  Bokuto, half-joke-half-serious punched Kuroo’s bicep, eliciting a feral smirk as they went into the chorus. Bo’s arms crossed as he shook his shoulders to the beat. Kuroo threw down at the next red light, clapping to each beat. Just as the bass shook your heart in its chest, both players head-banged with all their might, car jerking with the force. You feared for the steering wheel and the threat of an airbag going off when both boys slam-drummed the vehicle’s surface. The sight of the two of them going absolutely feral elicited the brightest cackle from your belly.

  They really knew how to turn your shittiest days into your new favorites. And you’d definitely be revisiting this playlist.

[cozycornerwritings]

hi!! for the match up thing i’m indian-american, 5’6”-5’8” naturally rapunzel-length, wavy hair (brownish), glasses, brown eyes, corner dimples, aquarius, i’m an ambivert, i love video games, editing, reading, writing, sleeping lol, and i’m not good at drawing but i like doodles and coloring. i love k-pop (casual listener) and some non-kpop songs & i love watching a lot of anime & reading BL 🕴🏻 & manga. i get closed off in groups because i get anxious and i get negative thoughts and how i’m probably not even wanted there bc of bad experiences. in public i can get suuuper anxious because i’m rlly sheltered bc of my parents and i get all shaky. same like in public w/o my parents like i get shaky and an anxiety / panic attack and want to cry. ive never experienced things bc of my family like ‘normal’ stuff like the beach, traveling, ice skating, movie theaters and stuff. i hate it and i dont have the best relationship with my family they can be really toxic sometimes and the whole anxiety thing and that makes me feel really depressive and su*cidal sometimes for a while. i love physical affection and being shown that or told words affirmation. but irl i get awkward and shy w physical affection bc ive never experienced it and idk how to do it. im good thru text, irl i can keep a convo going. thru calls i get shy and nervous, especially if it’s the opposite gender. my face gets red easily like i blush a lot and it’s not hard to make me flustered lol. when i get like that or don’t know how to respond i just giggle bc idk what to do or say. if im sad and going thru it i make jokes to cover it up and laugh it off, one time someone just asked ‘are you ok’ after i did and my voice cracked ‘no not really’ and i started crying 😃 i keep stuff to myself (unless i trust that person to tell them stuff nd open up to them) i do have trust issues and i’ve never rlly had friends irl my parents are strict and never let me go out. online i dont rly have much friends either. im rlly observant, and like descriptive / detailed as u can tell 😭 kinda sucks thoo because a lot of people don’t read what i say bc they said they cant b bothered n it’s too long but i just get rlly engrossed into things & dont half-ass stuff and just wanna explain everything properly 😭 i can be sassy and give attitude, and i can be mean. BUT i never do that to someone unless they did me dirty. i dont like arguing. that side of me can be shown thru arguments but only again like if the other person is doing the same and is being mean and disrespectful to me first. i do have a lot of patience and endure things until it’s become like a problem? i make sure to communicate. i never ignore people, i’m not petty unless i have a good reason if they did something to me. i’m really funny i swear 😭 and i can be emotional / sensitive depending on what it is but i know when someone is joking but i know when things are taken too far and i have boundaries. i take caution when meeting people bc trust issues so i’m not that clingy unless i 100% like can count on them and comfortable with them trust them etc. i like teasing friends but just for fun and won’t take it far and make them upset or anything. if i ever hurt someone which i make sure not to i feel super bad and apologize a lot and make sure to never do it again. i try to keep my cool to refrain keeping myself from getting mad but the times i have gotten mad are reasonable and it has to be something super upsetting for me, i dont get mad w/o reason though and i start to angry-cry and yell but i try not to say anything that ill regret and make sure to think of what im saying. i love memes, idk how to describe my humor tho 😭, i’m diligent and considerate! i try to show i care thru actions and words of affirmation and quality time etc. i make sure to remember important stuff someone tells me abt themselves. i have a really good memory i don’t forget things that easily. i care for others a lot and im trying to take care of myself more now too but it can be hard. i’m not a liar i can be really blunt and honest. SORRY ITS LONG 😭

I match you with..

Lemillion!

I’m a firm believer that understanding opposites can bring out the best in each other. Mirio helps you come out of your shell. He loves to stroke your hair, and sometimes playfully pulls it. He is your partner and your best friend, so doing thinks like Pictionary or playing games today are a common occurrence. Joking and cuddling turns into a must for the two of you and you discover how much you love your head pet. His dependable personality provides a safe place for you, and you get the chance to trust in someone fully.

He appreciates how you are careful to watch how you act when you are upset, but loves how full of emotion you are. Seeing you cry breaks him on the inside and he just wants to scoop you up into hugs. Knowing that you have that big goof there helps you with your social anxiety. If someone is talking too much to you and he sees you getting overwhelmed, he will skillfully direct conversation away from you. Mirio gets very protective of you around your family. He constantly holds your hand and you two have established a safe word in case you want to leave. Mirio is more than happy to scoop you into his arms and run away with you. He is so emotionally intelligent and sensitive with you that you feel so safe and secure. If you could use one word to describe him it would be ‘home’. For the first time in a long time you begin to realize what family is, it’s mirio.

Knowing that you haven’t tried many things, you two make an effort to try new experiences together. He often flirts with you, despite the fact you two are together. He brings out the more sexual side of you. You compliment him and flatter him. He loves how much you appreciate him. You two take care of each other and your time is full of laughs.

[noonaduck]

SeXd (Sex ed) pt.3

Pairing: BTS OT7 x reader genre: Fluff,smut, non idol Au Warnings: some heated making out and fingering  Words: 4377 A/N: EEP! Summaray: Y/N is a woman who is inexperienced in anything when it comes to relationships and sex. Luckily her friend Jimin along with his six other friends decide to show her what she has been missing.

2.  < 3. > 4.

If you want to be tagged msg me or send ask.

I won’t add you if you ask to be tagged in comments.

tags :  @lylanie12 @hopeivx @vannilacake @mina-messed-up  @lonely-hufflepuff @soularbangtan @all289854 @hobitoons @vanessalovesonedirection @bbjel @doki-do-ki @yoongleskitten @chaitaewithkookies

[gifs belongs to their rightful owners]

Your eyes are headed towards the stage and your focus is captured by the beautiful man. Jimin is practicing his part on the stage. The stage is dark except the spotlight which is directed towards him and his co-star. There is emotional music playing on the back round. Jimin’s skin is covered with white powder which makes his skin even paler than usual. His eyes are lined with black kohl and there is traces of silver powder under his eyes. Jimin is playing a part of vampire which you must admit that suits him well, even the ridiculous looking fake vampire teeth doesn’t make him look stupid. Jimin and the main actress are both already wearing their costumes, after all their show would be performed for a first time in two weeks.  Jimin bends the woman from her waist and licks her neck wit his tongue. You are jealous for the woman who gasps for Jimin’s actions (like she is supposed to). She and Jimin fits so perfectly together, beautiful woman with curly blonde hair and hourglass figure and the vampire who could bite you anytime and you wouldn’t complain. There is only few other people following the practice and you have your row of seats on your own. The music turns sensual when Jimin’s fake fangs pierces the actress'es skin and you can swear that his eyes are looking straight to yours. Small stream of fake blood pours from the bite mark and the woman’s eyes turn wide. She tries to pry of but Jimin keeps her still, you can see when the life leaves her body and she turns limp in Jimin’s arms. “Cut!” Director yells and the stage lights turn on. The actress leaves Jimin’s arms and smiles widely to him. When Jimin smiles back to her you feel even more jealous.

~     “So, how was it?” Jimin asks while his make up is being removed. You are standing at backstage while make up artist works with Jimin’s face. “I think that your play is going to be a hit.” You admit and Jimin smiles widely to you trough mirror. You are standing behind him your bag in your hands. “Vampires are quite the cliche, but you make them look extremely good again. And there is also your voice, I could listen you to sing for a whole day.” “Me too.” The make up artist giggles and winks to you. Jimin’s face heats from your praises and happy smile covers his lips. “I was hesitant at first when I took the role but you make me happy that I agreed to it.” He admits embarrassed. You jump little from surprise when new face appears in the mirror. “Jesus Tae, you scared me to death.” You say and the man is question laughs to your startled face. “Hi Tae.” Jimin greets his friend. “Hi. I’m sorry that I missed your practice.” Taehyung smiles apologetic and pats Jimin’s shoulder. “It’s okay, I understand.” Jimin assures his friend. The make up artist finishes her work and leaver from the scene and Jimin is able to spin around with his chair so he is facing both of you. The contrast between Taehyung and Jimin makes you smile amused. “What’s so funny?” Tae asks curiously. “You two. I mean you are here wearing a polo shirt and straight pants and Jimin is wearing this stupid white shirt with ruffled collar and red cloak.” Taehyung chuckles to this and Jimin pouts. “Are you saying that I look stupid?” Jimin’s lower lip shakes. “Yes, very.” You agree and Jimin sighs. “I just cant win, can’t I?” “Nope.” You agree and squeeze Jimin’s shoulder gently. “Anyway I didn’t know that you are coming today Tae.” You point your words to Taehyung. “Yeah it was last second decision and still I ended up late. Anyway the main reason why I’m here is you.” Taehyung takes your free hand, which isn’t holding your purse, and smiles fondly. “Me?” You ask surprised. “It’s my mark to leave.” You barely register Jimin’s words when he slips away from his chair. “Yep you. I came here today to ask you on the date with me.” Taehyung pets your knuckles when small plush covers your face. You curse your genes which causes your blushing to be always so visible. “I thought that we have agreed on it already.” You say shyly. “Well yes, we agreed that seven of us should take you on date but I wanted to ask officially.” Smile is still covering his face. How someone can look so good with so little effort. “In that case I would love to.” You agree and answer to his smile. “Good, when you have your next day of?” Taehyng sounds really happy when he squeezes your hand. “Umm, on next Friday think.” “Great, then you are spending it with me.” “Sure.” You are happy to agree.

Again you had no idea where you were going to spend your date.  You were in the shower getting ready for your date with Taehyung. You had two hours left but you wanted to get ready without hurrying. You shampooed your hair with flower scented shampoo and begun to rinse it away. Taehyung was completely mystery to you. His mind was sometimes hard to read so you had no idea what to expect. After cleaning your body with coconut scented shower gel you exit the shower and tie white fluffy towel around you. You had medium sized bathroom which walls were covered with sand colored tiles full of pictures of seashells and starfishes. You wipe your foggy mirror with your hand and grin to your reflection. Humidity has made your hair curly and full of knots. You take your hairbrush and hair dryer under the sink and begun to brush your hair carefully.  Your hair has been always thick and if you weren’t careful you could easily hurt yourself when going trough your messy hair. When you are happy with your brushing you blow your hair dry. You live in apartment which had small kitchen, bathroom and living room combined with bedroom. Glass wall with wooden borders separated your sleeping space from living place. Your couch was pushed on the other side of the glass wall and your bed was on the opposite of it.  The walls were painted with pastel green and the floor was made of white wood. Your favorite part of your apartment was your windows which had wide window ledges where you were able to sit. You head towards your closet which is pushed on right wall next to your bed and try to decide what you are wearing to your date. You go trough few options until you end up wearing light pink button-up shirt which has lace rims on the sleeves with pair of white jeans. Taehyung had said that there is no dress code on your date. Picking up your shoes was quite easy and you had ended up with white sneakers. When you are happy with your outfit you head back to the bathroom to apply some make up and put you hair into bun on top of your head. You had some time to spare so you end up watching TV while waiting Taehyung to arrive. Finally the doorbell rings and you head to open it bubbling with excitement. Taehyung is standing behind the door wearing brown shirt underneath open long sleeved denim shirt and pair of black skinny jeans. His feet are covered with white high edged shoes. Taehyung’s hands are in his pants pockets and he smiles his signature boxy smile when he sees you.

“Hi, are you ready to go?” He asks cheerfully. “Just a sec, I need to go get my bag pack.” You tell and head to pick up your small leather back bag. “Now I’m ready.” You declare happily. You head to your apartment complex parking lot and you look around curiously. You have no idea what kind of car Taehyung is driving. ITS. NOT. A. CAR. Taehyung stops in front of shining black motorcycle and you gasp slightly. “You don’t have a car?” You ask little bit scared. “No, only this baby.” Taehyung pats his bike fondly. “I have never rid one.” You admit. “You don’t have to be scared, I’m quite confident driver.” Taehyung assures you and takes one of the two black helmets which are top of the seat.  You look him hesitantly but give him your consent. Taehyung pulls your bun open with ease and your hair fall freely around your face. There was gone all time and effort which you had used to your hair. When your hair is free and your bun isn’t on the way Taehyung put’s the helmet to your head. He steps closer so he is able to close the tape under your shin. “So cute.” Taehyung says and pokes your nose. “Thanks?” You look when Taehyung puts his helmet on as well. Taehyung swings his leg over the bike with easy and he is standing the metal beast between firm his legs. “Nervous?” He asks looking your hands which are fumbling with your back bag’s leash. “Very.” You admit and Taehyung pats the seat behind of him. You obey him even though your nerves are going on overdrive. “Put your hands to my waist and lean to my back. I will drive slow.” Taehyung tells you what to do and you put your hands around him. You can feel his firm muscles under your shirt and you are secretly happy for his choice of vesicle even though it makes you nervous. If he had car you wouldn’t be able to put your arms around him like a koala bear. The bike roars alive under you and you can feel the engine purring underneath you.  Taehyung turns gas on and the bike jolts into motion. Adrenaline pulses trough your veins when you fly trough the busy city. You never thought that being on motorcycle could be so fun, your hair was flaring on the wind and the agile bike was able to bring you to your destination in record of time. Taehyung parks in front of Aquarium and you climb of excitedly from top of the bike. Your thighs feel sore, you probably tensed your muscles too much while driving. You are able to take your helmet of after few fumbling tries with the helmets lock under your chin. “That was so fun.” You admit while Taehyung turns his engine of and takes of his helmet. “I’m glad that you liked it.” “Soo the Aquarium?” You change the subject. “Yeah, you know that I work here, right?” Taehyung asks and walks next to you. The Aquarium is huge building painted full of sea creatures in cartoonish way. There is different colored fish, seahorses and even some sea creatures that you don’t recognize. wide glass doors leads inside of the building and a group of elementary students stand in line close to the door. The kids looks so happy that their excitement sticks to you too. “No I didn’t. I think we have never spoken what you do for a living.” You turn towards Taehyung who is closet to you than you thought and you almost end up falling over him. “Falling for me already?” Taehyung teases when he helps you to keep your balance. “Haha, really funny.” You roll your eyes for his weak pun. The elementary kids enter the Aquarium lead by their teacher and you and Taehyung head towards the doors as well. Taehyung keeps the door open for you and you step in to spacious lobby. Ocean theme continues still inside. The walls are painted to look like the sea and Caribbean music plays lowly on the back round. There is so many places that you haven’t had chance to visit in your time of living in the city and you felt thrilled to be able to visit in one of them. There is two lines in front of counter where you can buy tickets. Because its a week day there isn’t much line except the students who are enjoying their field trip. The second line is completely empty and Taehyung smiles for the woman who is behind the counter. She has short strawberry hair  which is pushed behind her ears. Her eyes are green and bright and her face is unfairly heart shaped. She is wearing the Aquarium’s uniform, short sleeved light blue t-shirt with the Aquariums logo and black shorts with lot of pockets. “Hi Emily.” Taehyung greets the woman who seems little bit too excited for seeing him in your liking. “Hey Tae-tae, Didn’t get enough from work?” She asks with wink. Tae-tae? “You know that I can’t stay away from you for that long.” Taehyung flirts. “And who might this be?” Emily asks and measures you with her eyes. She seems to be happy what she sees because small grin visits her lips briefly. You feel insecure, you are sure that the helmet messed your hair and you didn’t have your hair done anymore. “Shes Y/N, my date.” Taehyung smiles widely and pulls you closer from your hip. He leaves his hand lazily around you and you can feel your heartbeat quicken. You are secretly gleeful for her unhappiness. “Oh, I see.” Emily’s cheerful tone turns into more plain. “I assume that you are here for those free tickets.” “Yup.” Taehyung admits and Emily pulls stamp under her desk. “Please give me your hands.” She says with monotone voice and you put your hand on the table next to Taehyung’s. You get stamp with small sea star on back of your hand and you admire the cute mark. “I hope you guys have fun.” Emily adds with not so convincing voice. “Thanks Emily, we will.” Taehyung waves for her and you follow him inside of gates next to the counter.

You follow the hallway into space full of all kind of different aquariums where the lights are dim and in the middle of room is circle shaped couch. There is no one else inside. “So how did you end up working here?” You ask curiously while looking into small aquarium full of colorful fish. “Well I have always wanted help oceans and their inhabitants. I’m actually  a marine biologist, did you know?” You are learning so much new info about the Goofy man that you are beginning to see him more than a man who walks his head on the clouds. “So you are saying that you are actually smart?” You tease Taehyung who is now watching into same aquarium than you are. “Ouch, that hurt.” Taehyung pouts but soon his face is covered with plotting smile. His hands reach for you and soon you are laughing hard when Taehyung’s slender fingers keeps tickling your sides. “I give up! You have been always smart.” You wipe tears from your eyes and Taehyung grins in victory. You are still giggling slightly when the elementary group enters the room. “Maybe we should continue our journey?” You try to calm yourself down. “Yeah, We should let those kids enjoy their time without two crazy looking adults making noise in the back.” ~         You are having so much fun with Taehyung. He is able to tell you more about the fish than what there is one sings next to the tanks. Taehyung’s voice is fond when talks about ocean but turns angrier when he tells about how badly the waters are treated. His excitement could be boring for some but you find it quite cute .Soon you arrive into under water tunnel where is small sharks swimming above you. You are admiring the sharks when Taehyung takes your free hand. “Even though we might think that sharks are all mighty predators there is one even more dangerous creature.” He says suddenly. “You mean like tigers for example?” You ask with low voice. The atmosphere makes you want to talk in quiet voice. “Yeah those too.” he chuckles quietly. Taehyng turns you gently towards him, so instead of sharks you are seeing his face where reflection of water is dancing. “But I meant you. There isn’t many people who is patient with my rambling about the ocean. Even when I talk about it to the guys they always listen halfheartedly, thank you for listening to me.” “You are wel-” You sentence is disturbed by Taehyung lips which gently covers you. Your heart leaps into your chest when he bites your lower lip gently. The kiss is quick one but when you part you both has huge smiles plastered on your face. “Do you want to see more private parts of the Aquarium? One of the perks being and employee here is that I can bring you to the back.” Taehyung smiles fondly and pets your cheek with his thump. “I would like it very much.” Taehyung leads you out of the tunnel into big hall where is huge aquarium which you are able to walk around in the middle of it. Other rather large Aquarium is located in the end of the room. Taehyung pulls you after him towards in and only then you notice a metal door whit sign ‘staff only.’ Taehyung hits code into panel next to it and pulls the door open. Now you are behind the Aquarium and you are able to see the hall with the rotatable Aquarium. You are able to see in the room, but you aren’t able to see from there in the back space.   “This place is used for feeding the fish.” Taehyung tells when you look around you. There metal shelves full of boxes and small bench in front of the Aquarium. There is another metal room which leads deeper into space which is only meant for the employees. “I don’t want to be a party killer, but I thought that I’m going to see something more exciting.” You admit after you are done with scanning the space. “I assure you that you are going to experience something exciting here.” Taehyung’s teasing tone makes you confused and when he pushes you against the Aquarium’s glass you gasp out loud. Now you are standing you back against the glass Taehyung in front of you his hands on both sides of your head. You feel excitement pool inside of you when he leans closer. “I heard that you had lesson about kissing from our little Kookie. What do you say if we put what you learnt in good use and I teach you few other things?” Taehyung’s voice is low when he whispers to your ear. “Okay.” The word is only one which you are able to mutter being so close to the man. Deep chuckle leaves from Taehyung and his lips finds yours again. This time his lips are more heated when keeps moving them against yours. The gentleness from earlier is gone and there is a shark in front of you. Taehyung’s hands leaves their position from both sides of your face and finds your butt. He squeezes your butt and your mouth part open. Taehyung’s tongue easily slips into yours and yours goes to greet him. Your tongues battle in dominance but Taehyung wins easily. When you part small line of saliva connects your lips. Taehyung’s pupils are wider and he is panting. Taehyung sweeps your lower lip with his thump and cleans the spit away. Cheerful noises fills the hall and happy kids run into the room followed by stressed looking teacher. The children gathers around the round tank in the middle of the room except few curious ones who head towards the aquarium on the back.  Taehyung spins you around so this time you are facing the room  full of the kids and you can see their twisted faces trough the water. “Look at you making out in the backroom while those students are watching sea creatures without knowing what is happening right under their noses.” Taehyung whispers huskily to your ear. He pulls your back bag gently of your shoulders and it drops on the ground. Slight chance of being caught turns you on and when Taehyung presses himself against your back you can clearly feel his hard on rubbing to your butt. “I noticed earlier how you were jealous towards Emily, but don’t worry I’m not interested in her. I’m here after all with you and not her. ’'Taehyung’s breath is hot against your ear and your breathing is getting more heavy. ’'You don’t mind if I touch you more, don’t you?” “N-no.” You whine when Taehyung rubs his hardening member against your butt. “Good girl.” Taehyung praises you and his hands finds their way under your shirt. Taehyung pushes your shirt up so your white lace bra comes into the view. More kids are gathering around the tank and admiring the sea life knowing what is happening right in front of them. Taehyung’s right hand comes to squeeze your breast and the left one pushes your hair away from your neck. When Taehyung has access to your neck he leashes his lips behind your ear. Taehyng keeps stroking your breast lazily while his lips explores your arched neck. He bites gently to your neck and sucks his mark into it. Your chest is heaving at slow space and you feel wetness leaking into your underwear. Taehyung’s left hand finds your other breast and soon he is rutting against your backside. “Your breast feels so good, like they are meant to fit into my palms.” Taehyung’s right hand leaves your breath and seeks your pants. “May I?” He stops right on the hem of your clothing. “Yes.” You sigh and as soon Taehyung hears the words opens your button easily even with one hand. His hand disappears inside of your pants and he follows the line of your underwear with his fingers. When he dips lower moan leaves his lips. “You are so wet fro me already, I have barely done anything. Oh god, you drive me so crazy Y/N.” His Index finger finds your clit and he circles it on top of your panties. “Tell me, do you have ever masturbated before?” You feel suddenly so shy despite of the situation and widget on your place. “Yes.” You finally admit. “Did you come?” “No…” “Then there is treat coming towards you.” Taehyung’s husky voice is full of excitement. His fingers slips inside of your panties and soon they find your swollen clit again. Taehyung pinches your clit between his thump and index finger and you moan out loud. Confused students look around them but aren’t able to find the source of noise. You hurry t cover your mouth with your hand which has been pushed against the glass until now. “You must be quiet or we might get caught.” Taehyung giggles and pinches your clit again this time more gently. His fingers continues to do their work and soon his index finger finds your hole. He pushes in and your walls squeezes around the strange feeling. You have only tried to stimulate your clit and never gone that far as entering your fingers inside of you. Even though the feeling is strange its so good when Taehyung keeps gently fingering your heat. “You are so tight and wet, is this all for me?” Taehyung sighs and you mumble your answer. “Sweetheart I can’t hear you.” Taehyung teases and halts his actions. “It is for you.” You admit this time louder. “You are such a sweet girl for me.” Taehyung praises and ads second finger into your heat. Taehyung moves his fingers in and out in steady rhythm and his thump finds your clit. You feel knot tighten in your abdomen and Taehyung notices this too speeding his space. You have to bite your lip to keep quiet, it feels so good. For your luck the group decides finally continue their journey and they leave the hall right when you come to Taehyung’s skilled fingers. You aren’t able to keep yourself up when your life’s first orgasm washes over you like the oceans wave. You see only white for a second and when you come down your high Taehyung is petting your hair gently your shirt pulled back down. “That was, just wow.” You are finally able to say and look up to Taehyung’s smiling face. “I’m glad that I was able to make you feel so good.” Taehyung says and pulls his finders out from your pants. When he steps back you notice his still visible bulge in his pants. He licks his fingers clean his eyes looking into yours for the whole time which made you shiver slightly. “What about you?” You frown and Taehyung smiles gently. “As much as I would enjoy for some relief this was about you.” He assures you but you still feel guilty for leaving him hanging. “I let you go ahead and I finish myself here.” He continues and peeks your cheek. “Are you sure?” You still hesitate when you pick your bag from the floor. “I’m positive.” Taehyung pushes you back from the metal door in to the hall. You feel sad that Taehyung wouldn’t let you help him but you have to give up after all there was locked door separating you two. You just had your first orgasm and you have to feel excited over it. Your legs are like a jelly and you fumble like Bambi towards empty bench. You are still putting yourself together when Taehyung comes out his problem fixed. “Are you ready to go?” Taehyung asks and offers his hand to you which you gladly accept.

You are laying on your bed phone in your hand and discussing about your date with Jimin. Your call is on speaker and you are able to hear Jimin’s cheerful voice. You: “Hey Jimin?” You interrupt his happy nonsense. Jimin: “Yea?” You: “Why do you think that Taehyung didn’t let me help him with his problem?              Does he think that I’m not capable of giving him pleasure?” Usually you                were on the listeners side when Jimin talked about his sex life so it was                nice change that you were the one talking even though the subject was                sensitive for you. Jimin: “I don’t doubt that you are able to give a man pleasure after little learning              honey.  There is reason why Taehyung wouldn’t let you touch him.” You: “And that is?” Jimin: “He is insecure.” Jimin answers after short break. You: “He is what now?” Jimin: “Even though he seems so experienced with women he feels insecure                  with his body. I don’t understand why though. What I have heard is that                he only agrees to sex fully clothed.” You: “Wow. I could have never see that coming. He has quite dirty mouth.” Jimin: “He has? Well you can never know from the innocent looking ones.”

[supergirl-fanfiction]

One Last Chance

Kara Danvers x Reader

(Y/N)- Your Name

(E/C)- Eye Color

(F/I/C)- Favorite Ice Cream

It has been 2 months since you last spoke to Kara. She had tried to text and call you every day since then. It got to the point of where you changed your number because it hurt too much seeing her name pop up across your screen. Thankfully she hadn't come over to your place...yet. That was about to change though unknown to you she was headed to your place that day and she wasn't going to take no as an answer.

Warnings- Language, Slight angst

You had decided to spend your day off lounging around your apartment watching angsty romantic movies. You knew you shouldn't because you knew it was only going to make the pain in your heart worse but you just couldn't help yourself. Even though it had been two months since your breakup with Kara the pain in your heart had not lessened. It had only grown with everyday you spent apart. You refused to let yourself go crawling back to her though. After the way she had practically deserted you for the last 3 months of your relationship you knew that it was for the best. You had just gotten yourself comfortable on the couch with a bowl of (F/I/C) ice cream getting ready to hit play on The Notebook when there was a knock at your door. You hadn't been expecting anyone. You weren't exactly dressed for company in your stained sweatshirt and your sweatpants with holes in them. You decided you were just going to ignore whoever was at the door and get back to watching your movie. You hit play and started to get comfortable on the couch again. That plan quickly flew out the window though because whoever was at your door just continued to knock. Apparently they were very persistent. You sighed glancing at your ice cream and pausing your movie before getting up and opening the door. As soon as you saw who was behind the door you tried to shut it in her face, but Kara stopped the door with her foot.

"Kara move your foot." You demanded of her. She shook her head and looked at you. There were bags under her eyes and her blue eyes lacked the light you had come to associate with them. She looked the way that you felt, heartbroken.

"Please (Y/N) just please let me explain. I need to talk to you. Please." she was practically begging you. You tried not to look directly in her eyes. You knew that would break your resolve. You couldn't let her in, not again. Your heart wouldn't be able to stand being broken by her again.

"Kara I can't. You made your choices and I made mine. There is no more explaining." You told her your voice cracking as you tried to hold back your tears. You just wanted to let her back in and go back to how things used to be. You knew that was a bad idea though. You couldn't just let her back in like that because if you did you would only end up exactly where you had been 2 months ago.

"Please (Y/N). I know I messed up. I made so many mistakes and missed important dates. I cant change that. If I could I swear to you I would but I cant." you could hear the tears in her voice and you knew if you looked up at her you would see the tears falling down her face. "These past two months have been hell. I cant sleep without you. Every time I close my eyes all I can see is heartbroken look on your face. Just please let me in let me explain. If you still want absolutely nothing to do with me after that then I will leave you alone." you could hear the desperation in her voice. You sighed knowing that your resolve was crumbling with every word that came out of her mouth.

"Kara... I cant. Please just leave. Don't keep doing this to yourself and to me. There is no point in dragging this out anymore. There is no more explaining. You had your chance to explain after every missed date and you didn't. All you gave me was excuses and I'm not interested in hearing your excuses anymore. You've already broken my heart once isn't that enough?" Your voice came out softly barely above a whisper coated with pain. You tried shutting the door but her foot wouldn't budge. You heard her whisper something so soft you couldn't hear it. Right after that she pushed the door open and walked into your apartment. You just stared at her in amazement shutting the door quickly.

"Kara! What the fuck!" You yelled at her your anger beginning to become prominent over the other emotions that you were feeling right then.

"I need to explain (Y/N)! I couldn't take no for an answer. I need you in my life. I cant do this without you. Nothing makes sense and my heart hurts with every beat that I'm not with you." Kara said as she began pacing in your living room. You looked up at her and the pain in your heart grew at the way she looked right then. She looked absolutely heartbroken and in pain. You couldn't help yourself and you walked in her path of pacing causing her to stop. You sighed and you knew you were about to make the wrong choice but your bleeding heart just couldn't help itself. At least not when it came to Kara Danvers. You pointed towards the couch and went into the kitchen to get Kara a glass of water and to take a second to center yourself. After standing in the kitchen for a couple minutes before heading back into the living room. You handed Kara the glass of water and sat on the opposite side of the couch. She began to fidget and bounce her leg. You just sat there in silence waiting for her to say something. You weren't going to start the conversation. She was the one who strong armed her way into your apartment. She was the one who wanted to explain so you weren't going to say anything. The more time that passed the more Kara began to fidget. She looked over at you and you raised your eyebrow at her waiting for her to say anything at all.

"I'm sorry (Y/N). I know that won't magically fix anything but I've wanted to say that since you walked out the door of Alex and Maggies apartment." Kara began. "There is a reason though for why I began to miss our dates and I didn't want to tell you because I was afraid that being associated with that side of me could end up with you getting hurt or.. or possibly worse," Kara began to ramble and out of habit you grabbed her hands in yours and rubbed circles on her hands with your thumbs. You hadn't even initially realized you had done it. She looked over at you with tears in her eyes and a small smile on her lips. She took in a deep breath before pulling her hands out of yours as she stood up and turned away from you.

"I thought if I told you about this that I would lose you to someone wanting revenge but then I ended up losing you anyways." Kara began to get slightly chocked up. You stood up and took a step towards her laying your hand on her shoulder.

"Kara you're starting to scare me a little bit. I think you need to calm down. Im going to call Alex to come pick you up. Just sit down and wait for her to come get you." You told her in the most calming voice you could manage right then. She turned around quickly with panic in her eyes.

"No! Please I just its not easy and I want no I need you to understand but I don't know how and this isn't going how I planned." She stopped in the middle of her rambling and stepped away from you up unbuttoning her shirt. At first you couldn't believe that she was honestly going to try that right now and just as you were about to yell at her to get the fuck out a very well known symbol caught your eyes. It was the symbol that both Superman and Supergirl wore proudly on their chest. Your (E/C) eyes quickly shot up to meet Karas blue eyes. You couldn't believe this but yet at the same time you could. Everything started to make sense. Your very attentive never late much less miss a date girlfriend began to miss dates all the time. She never arrived on time if she did arrive. Thinking back on all your missed dates you realized that they all matched up with a battle that Supergirl had been in. Your hand shot up to cover your mouth as you stared at you ex-girlfriend in amazement and bewilderment.

"Kara you're Supergirl?" you managed to choke out the question and she nodded her head.

"I'm sorry I never told you. I just wanted to protect you (Y/N)." She pulled you into her arms and you didn't try to fight her. You understood where she was coming from but you couldn't just forget about everything that had happened even if you wanted to. You pulled back slightly and placed your hands on her face.

"I understand where you are coming from Kara but just so you know this doesn't magically fix everything. I'm still hurt by your actions. I wish I could say that everything could go back to the way it was before but it can't. You being Supergirl doesn't change the fact that Kara Danvers was the one to break my heart." You began to tell her and you could see the panic begin to rise in her eyes as she held onto you a little tighter. She began to open her mouth to say something but you just shushed her. She swallowed the words she was about to say and tears began to fill her eyes.

"Now taking everything into account I believe that we can come to a compromise of sorts. We cant immediately jump back to where we left off but if you are willing to try then I am too." You smiled softly as the panic began to fade followed by confusion and then happiness when your words completely registered with her. A smile began to take over her face and her eyes began to get that sparkle back in them. You kissed her softly on the nose and then pulled back.

"But there are some ground rules," you began and paused to make sure she was giving you her full attention. Once you were sure she was you continued. "First you tell me everything ok complete honesty from here on out. No hiding anything not even the ugly parts because if this going to work you need to be completely honest with me. That goes both ways though if you have to be completely honest then I do too and I will be. I will tell you everything and we will discuss things together to decide on the best course of action. Second if you get caught up in Supergirl duty you have to find someway to let me know. Don't leave me stranded with no idea of what's going on. Lastly, just love me the way you always have. Don't treat me like some fragile thing or walk on eggshells around me. I promise you that I am stronger than I look and I'm not going to hold this whole thing over your head. That wouldn't be fair to you or me. We all make mistakes and I'm not going to hold you to a higher standard just because you are from Krypton. We are in this together ok?" as you finished talking Kara quickly nodded her head.

"Absolutely I agree to all of that. I promise that you won't regret this. I'll make sure that no matter what you are always in the loop especially with any and all Supergirl business." Kara told you with a serious look on her face. You laughed and pulled her closer to you your lips meeting in a long overdue kiss. You didn't want to separate from her but eventually you had to. Stupid lungs and their need for air. As you pulled away you could hear a small whimper come from Kara and you let out a giggle and rolled your eyes at her.

"Now that we have all that cleared up for the most part come cuddle with me on the couch and watch The Notebook." You didn't wait for an answer and plopped down on the couch looking up at her waiting for her to sit down with you. As soon as she sat down you curled up into her side and she wrapped her arm around you. You smiled as you felt her press a kiss on the top of your head and pressed play on the movie. Everything wasn't perfect and neither one of you could jump straight into where you had left off. As you looked up at Kara though you knew that the both of you were going to be ok. You just had to take this one day at a time. You focused back on the movie and before you knew it you had fallen asleep curled up into Karas side. That night you slept better than you had in the past 2 months.

[papers4me]

Fruits Basket,Se03, Ep 8 (part 2)

I finally got my answer on how will kyo’s confession of kyoko will be & how tohru will react. I love the writing, the pacing, the monologue, the dialogue, the facial expressions, tohru’s reaction, kyo’s rejection & tohru’s shock. Even yuki & akito’s involvement! All of it was a chef’s kiss!

I went & watched lots of eps of se01 & 2 & I’m loving all the hints they dropped abt kyo & how his trauma was looming over him all. this. damn. time! Unfortunately, it has reminded me of how much tohru’s own character exploration was diminished in favor of her being the angelic mother & the sohma’s fixer! but moving on & focusing on her shining moment now! I’ll explore her character here with regards of her trauma, real hidden character & future development.

Kyo’s rejection is the best thing that has ever happened to tohru:

(don’t hate me before you read!) XD~ just like you, I’m mad at kyo for hurting tohru & I feel her pain. However, the writer didn’t write this with a sadistic desire to hurt us. Kyo’s rejection is the core of the entire story as it is not only connected to kyo’s trauma, but tohru’s growth & yuki’s emotional involvement with the two, as well as akito’s insecurities. I have explained in my review( part 1) how kyo rejecting tohru was a logical progression of kyo’s trauma, the only possible outcome from his perspective, & the themes tied with such decision. Now, I’ll explain why this rejection is good for tohru in the long run:

1. Showing the hidden ugly side: (The timid, shy, self-sacrificing girl is angry!): Tohru’s entire consciously constructed personality is borrowed from elements in her mom & dad’s life:

She mimicked her dad’s overly polite style to prove that she is indeed his daughter, so her mom won’t be called w*ore & to console her mom, so she wont leave her. She has deep low self-worth issues. I gotta become someone else to be loved.

she has inner fear of bringing shame to her mom’s name, wants to always be the good girl so mom’s get praised for raising her. Thus, hiding ugly aspects such as anger, loud voice & frustration.

She wants to prove that her mom chose right by not neglecting her. wishes to be worth needing & loving for her own self.

All she ever wanted since being a 4 year old child is her mom. No other desire for anything else at all. Since her mom’s death, she’s been lost on what to do, who to be, what to want! then it came to her to stick to her mom’s memory & live for her. Living for a dead person is a self-sacrifice decision. Tohru just didn’t see herself outside of her mom’s influence.  

Ever since meeting kyo, he has been encouraging real aspects of her character: be selfish, complain, cry, get mad, yell, look pathetic, expose unflattering thoughts, show undesirable side, ask for things, no, DEMAND things. She has been reluctantly following his advice & only showing that to him. His confession & inability to accept her love has lead her to show the real hidden tohru behind the “ i’m okay” mask:

The timid, always smiling girl is now showing anger, frustration, stubbornness & determination.

screaming her heart out: “ i don’t believe my mom would say that” stating her opinion in firm voice.

 “even if she did, I have to go against her” the real tohru shows her explosive personality that was buried deep down! it is NOT mom’s life anymore. It is MINE. I decide. I choose. I want. My decisions.

“ why can’t you see that?” argues with him. Tohru, who is soft-spoken & tends to get flustered  when others insist, is now questioning his decision with passion & fierceness!

“ I love you no matter what”. Say what toy want. look at yourself as a monster, a murderer, a loser or a coward. I don’t care what your brain or trauma makes you think. I see the real YOU & it is my decision! I love you ugly & pretty, sad & happy, broken or strong, coward or brave. I take it all & no one is fooling me or changing my mind. I’m my own person & I chose YOU. 

 2. Letting go of attachments: Learning to LIVE:

Tohru’s attachment to her mom isn’t healthy. It’s  toxic as it hinders her from being her own person. To be able to love kyo, she lets go of “ listening to mommy’s words” . Apparently, her mom condemned kyo as unforgivable. Tohru knows the real kyo & doesn’t even care for forgiveness despite her mom’s alleged words. Breaking the toxic bond. She formed a healthier bond with kyo. However, if kyo is unable to accept this love. what would tohru do? die?? kill herself?? kyoko wasn't able to continue to love her husband cuz he died. her reaction was neglecting her daughter & roaming away in utter grief. Tohru mustn’t follow her mom’s example. Not all loved ones leave us out of hate. Some leave each other cuz of death (kyoko/tohru), ( kyoko/ katsuya), Others might leave each other out of current traumatic pain, mental health, emotional hindrance despite loving each other so dearly (kyo/tohru). If kyo despite his immense love to tohru, can’t forgive himself, they won’t be together. tohru can cry, scream, yell, but if he doesn't overcome his issues & come back, tohru gotta let go. She gotta learn to let go & not kill herself over what she cant have.

Kyo, on the opposite, gotta learn to hold on to loved ones! Let go of pain but hold on to real ppl not dead ghosts of the past. He must learn to act on his own desire & need for tohru. Only when he forgives himself, he’ll hold on to her. It is then, that tohru will decide again if she’ll have him or not.

3- Wanting things doesn't mean you WILL have them: (You are enough by yourself- moderation)

tohru wants kyo, the first thing she has ever wanted. However, she won’t  automatically get him just because she now learned to demand things. There are obstacles that can stop that. Tohru must accept kyo’s inability to be with her now & live healthily regardless. This ties to akito as well. She wants the zodicas but she cant have them! Emotional distance separate them. What will akito do if she can’t have what she wants? kill kurno? kill tohtru? kill herself? will this bring the zodiacs back? NO. You are enough by yourself. She needs to let go & learn to accept that love means acceptance between the involved parties, emotional connection isn't enough.

-Realistic depiction of romantic relationship progression: (thro better & worse). EPIC writing!

It is indeed fate that brought tohru back in kyo’s path 4 months after her mom’s death & the they do share a mutual past: kyoko. However, fervor grateful to the author for writing them falling in love together isn’t due to fate, coincidence, mutual past or similar personalities. Kyo consciously avoided tohru while tohru herself struggled to understand kyo initially. The author spend valuable time building their romantic relation based on mundane daily life activities. They themselves don’t quite know when exactly that they fell in love. when they recalled falling in love, we see them cooking together, talking, walking, eating, studying & opening up abt small struggles.

It is genius that the writer will add yet another realistic aspect. While kyo was able to read tohru & approach her when she’s down, this doesn't mean he magically understood her & will forever be on the same page & never ever hurt each other at all. If you fell in love, you are bound to be hurt by the person who loves you back as much as be happy together. It is realistic!!! Adding miscommunication & personality differences enrich the relationship. This relationship isn’t just fluffy & lovey dovey. They have realistic issues that they need to work on by communicating. Even communication  wont solve their quarrel if it isn’t done in the right time & with the right desire to connect.

-The weight & future lessons learned from of “ I’m disappointed in you” for both kyo & tohru:

Right now kyo is too emotional to connect & tohru herself is too emotional to understand his response. Tohru understands his pain but her low self-esteem prevents her from seeing that he is rejecting being loved , not rejecting her. He is not rejecting tohru as a person but rejecting kyo as a person deserving love. Thanks to his “ i’m disappointed in you” which really leaves no room for interpretation from tohru’s perspective. I love that!!!! Kyo isn’t good with words. This has been clear from ep 1, his actions has always been his love language, but now he couples bad words “ i’m disappointed in you” with bad actions: running away. This is a perfect opportunity to build their future relationship on a solid foundation: ( off course I’m not belittling their current emotions, I understand why each is very broken now, but I’m talking abt future learning lessons)

Kyo’s current mistake: While him rejecting tohru is justified by the extreme trauma & is logical from his perspective. This doesn’t mean it isnt’t hurtful to her. He chose hurtful words to push her away mimicking how he pushed her in the true form arc. Perfect example of justified mistake yet still a wrong mistake. Thus, kyo needs to learn the effect of his words, he shouldn’t be punished for the past, for tings her cant control, nor for fate. But he should take responsibilities of the present, of what he actually says & does right now.  He must fix this mistake with tohru. This is a mistake that CAN be fixed. someone that he CAN get back. a mistake he CAN stop repeating.He CAN hold on to her with immense desire yet allow room for her to decide for herself.

Tohru’s current mistake: Seeing herself solely thro being loved by kyo. she cant see that he indeed loves her cuz he rejected her. Rejection in tohru’s mind equal lack of love. Her mom left her, thus her mom didnt love her. This respective is very justified due to her trauma, & it is logical that she reached this conclusion. She isnt in his head, she cant know whats in his heart if his words say sth else. However, having a logical perspective doesn't mean it is right. it is still wrong to solely exist thro what you can see & hear. Real emotions run deeper. We must take things with moderate approach. Tohru needs to have higher self-esteem, to allow room for misunderstanding without completely breaking down. In her future life, she’ll be in lots of situations where ppl could hurt her intentionally or unintentionally. She needs to take things with calmer pace & open the door in her mind for doubt & better judgement. As much as loved ones words hurt, to build a healthy relationship, you must leave room for communication & misunderstanding. Hence, you’ll get closer & closer. 

Side Notes:

 I love tohru’s faulty attachment thro only being loved back exactly as she pictures in her mind. it is so human, so real, & so endearing! Very opposite of se01 & 2 image of her being the wise, device-giving mother with right thing to say & do. Screw that unrealistic image! allow tohru to be real! best ep ever! Hopefully, no more of this tohru!

Kyo’s constant repeat of mistakes is the best character trope done right! so realistic. It is genius that the author used this trope to humanize the demonic cat spirit!! what screams human better than the most annoying human trait: repeating mistakes!!!!  Kyo, my son! it’s time to learn! cant wait to see how the author will do that.

young boy/ adult woman friendship? Was that ever made without  disgusting sexualizion? kyoko isnt much of a mom figure to kyo, she tells me abt a husband, child neglect mistakes, custody! he calls her old hag & pushes her! XD. it is friendship!!

i’m mad they didnt focus on tohru’s face when she screamed at kyo confessing her love.. that's tohru moment. Why pan on yuki? you could’ve showed his reaction after she spoke. The same thing was done when tohru confessed to Isuzu!-_-! loved her angry face tho, it was beautifully drawn, so thanks for that. XD

Yuki is forever the best tohru/kyo shipper & the best tohru-happiness defender. I love how he runs after kyo & yet checks on tohru! I’m curious tho, he didnt hear any of kyo/kyoko confession as he was asleep, only the the “ forgive/not forgive line” so, he’ll be wondering forgive what? tohru’s mom knows kyo? I’m excited on how they’ll put things into context. also, I LOVE YUKI.

I’m forever thankful that everything akito is pushed into next ep. The knife wielding action & akito’s dramatic outbursts would’ve stolen from the emotional weight of kyo’s confession. Kyo’s secret is the core of furuba since ep, 1, the entire dynamics of kyo/tohru/yuki /kyoko/ hat is established based on this ep. Shoving akito, too, would create the same annoying train bullet feeling of momiji’s & tohru’s ep (ep 5 & 6). Emotional scenes pushed together with lesser time for the respective characters to have their well-deserved focus.

This is the most I am attached & satisfied with furuba! it scares me since ep 9 continues the climax. My fears of potential dramatic animation since the knife is there! moreover, akito’s own animation is always over the top. I hope they tone it down to portray her as a human more than a maniac.

Also, I hope they dont drag the climax more than that. What more you can shove in the dramatic raining weather. Tohru/kyo scene here matched the true arc scene bringing back parallel. Now akito/tohru raining scene next ep will match se02, ep10 scene. Now, what will the author do to defuse the climax? Often writing the falling action is harder than the climax itself. Falling action doesnt mean happy times & solving issues. It means dealing with the consequences of the climax. Let’s see what the writer has in store.

Based on the flashbacks, Kyoko didnt have ill feelings with kyo!!!! Until the last time he saw her as a child, she was happy with him. Even when he pushed her, she took it as a childlike behavior. at the accident, she didnt have much time to have any ill feelings. No way she thought he pushed her, no way she thought he could’ve saved her. So if she really recognized him, why would she say “ I wont forgive you”? it doesnt make sense at all. Kyoko doesn't hate kyo!!!! So, either he imagined, which is sth that I’ll hate so much! I spent so much emotions attached to a non existant words! NO. plz! NO!! Other possibility, she said sth else closer to the words! but then again how would we know? I NEED to know! ~ as expected, I’m still attached to this damn line! XD. 

Kyo depressed in the mountains after kyoko’s death was very vaguely referenced in (1) se01, ep24 when kyo talked to kazuma! oh shoot! (2) in se02, sp 2 when kazuma thought back to kyo nearly killing himself in depression before meeting the dad, (3) in se02, ep 9 when kyo trampled on the flower! oof! i love this subtle style of writing! connecting the emotional dots! EPIC!

Various characters throut seasons 1, 2 & 3 noticed the real gentle kyo towards tohru: (1) Isuzu’s “ I hope tohru meets someone like haru, to gently open the door” se02, ep19. (2) Momiji having faith that kyo is the right person for tohru & pushing him, (3) yuki constantly musing over tohru/kyo love & drawing inspiration on wanting “ his own person to love like them” (3) Kisa saying kyo is kind to tohru se3, (4) shigure saying, you are exclusively kind to tohru se02, (5) Airisa saying, when will kyo confess in se01, (6) hana saying, marry my sister in the play & pushing him to not be locked! (7) yuki kicking him for saying “ its not your business” to tohru in kyoto trip, (8) kakeru saying “ kyo’s her boyfriend? “ AA~~~~ the whole cast know & can see his love to her!!! TOHRU! He doesnt hate you! KYO!! the entire cast thinks you DESERVE HER & is KIND! not a monster! Is there an image set of those moments of the cast saying that here in tumblr? kindly mention me to see it! I fear going to the tags & seeing spoilers T_T.

[mysweetxcape]

It all started as a joke..

“Kepala angin..”

“Attitude..”

“Only your HUSBAND can tolerate with you”

“How can you even tolerate with her?”

.... And then, it questioned my existence, significance and of course, as a person.

I grew up being labelled as that, none other than the people who are close to me. Honestly I’ve no idea its meaning when I was kid; I’ve always thought I’m a sensitive person - sulk easily etc, perhaps it was because I think I was pampered; and if you hurt me, like DUH, of course i would be upset right? Again, I was a kid. What are feelings back then? You simply reciprocate naturally to whatever that is going on with your life.

Growing up, I still heard that often till current - being married, although my husband did (or have not) dub me that (yet). And if possible, I wouldn't want to hear it from him too.

I’ve always tried to mend my ways -  the way I act or talk. But i think people dont see the change in me, no matter how hard I tried. When I mentioned change, it means sucking it more than I should. It’s similar overflowing a mug. You pour water in it till it has reached to the brim, but they kept pouring it more and more. And when it had overflowed, they blame the size of the mug for not being able to contain it well.

Before you jumped into conclusion while reading this, I’m an ordinary person with feelings, perhaps low tolerance with stupid shit that made me go berserk easily. Perhaps you could’ve said that I’m slightly temperamental and I could’ve worked that out properly.

But do people realize that the words that was spat to me or inappropriate actions that was reciprocated to me was HURTFUL? So while THEY are the ones who did it, I have to suck it up? While they were the ones who started out the mess, I have to clean their shit? With that being said, I do not have tolerance to suck up that shit for long. And if you do not realise it, then you gotta suck it up too. Yes, patience is virtue but i’m not a prophet; i dealt with whatever I can. Just like you.

It hurts to the point when the people who are close to me are the ones spatting shit to me. It all started as a joke and now it has became a NORM for everyone to say unpleasant statement to me - throwing negative statement like “How can you even tolerate with her?” to my husband. Although I know him for years, I dont expect one’s foul mouth to go to my husband. Even if it’s a joke.

How does that make me feel as a person? Or a wife? Am I really that extreme? Am i really that bad? I grew up having those thoughts lingering at the back of my head. I’ve lived with that which have made me to overthink about myself and the people that I’ve met. Each time a fight occurred, it has always felt it was my fault because at the end of the day, they told me “I got an attitude.”

Sometimes I feel that if i could understand one’s feelings, why cant people react the same way to me? All along, I've never judged one’s personality over their foolish mistake or immature mindset. But whenever it comes to me, it feels that it is unforgivable.

On days when I’ve decided not to talk a lot, they still have an impression of me being an attitude. I don’t know what else..

Sadly I dont really grow up with great compliments about my personality from my family. It has always been the opposite and the same till to date. There are days where you can joke but there’s always a limit to everything.

Yes, I’m aware I’m not all cheery, happy and bright. I dont smile all the time because I was raised with SO MANY things happened around me. I am, most of the time dark and twisted - if you were in my place, you could be too but for at least, I didnt run away. I stay put, I fight through the odds. I fight against my inner conflicts that had overwhelmed my emotions from time to time. I dealt with it, I succumbed to it and I tried to be nice even if there are days I have suicidal thoughts. At least I faced it and not resort to trashy things that will ruin me. If it weren’t because of my religion, I would’ve probably go rotten. But I know Allah has created me for a reason, He could’ve answered my prayers when I was a kid (to die early), but no, He made me live to go through unpredictable obstacles because He know that I can handle it. And because I know, my family needs me no matter how much they think of me as a person. I dont blame my past or family for created who I am, rather I’ve eradicated it long time ago and in fact, I grew and learned from it. BUT there’s always a baggage that has been lingering in me. It come and go. And i’m still in a process of self-fixing it. Frankly, I wish someone out there could’ve seen me in that perspective but to date, there is none and probably, I am that someone.

With that being said, I’ve accustomed to such shit to the point if that is how someone sees in me instead of the good deeds that I’ve done, so be it. And if you think I’m being overly sensitive with such issue, deal with it and suck it up.