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thefanficmonster · 3 years

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Bumpy Road

Corpse Husband x Reader (Gender Neutral)

Warnings: Swearing, Mentions of Depression and Relationship struggles as well as Health Problems

Genre: Mild Angst, Romance, RPF (Real Person Fic)

Summary: On a live podcast discussing his rise to fame and how its affected his personal life, Corpse stumbles over the topic of his romantic relationships, more specifically his relationship with Y/N.

Requested by Anon. Hello dear! Thank you so much for your wonderful request and so sorry you’ve had to wait for it to be posted so long. However, here it finally is and I hope you come across it and read it an if you do I hope you enjoy it! Love, Vy ❤

“Right, ok we’re officially live!“ Exclaims Anthony as he waves to one of the cameras - the one turned to him - and leans closer to the mic placed on the table in front of him. “Hello everyone, thanks for tuning in today. I’m here with the internet sensation and mystery known as Corpse Husband.“ He turns away from the camera to look across the table at his guest, “Corpse, I hope you know how much effort is being put into editing that sticker over your face for the duration of this whole podcast.“

Corpse, whose face is hidden by a sticker of his avatar, chuckles, “So you’re insinuating that I should probably not move so much.”

“Exactly.“ Anthony laughs, “My guy would be very grateful for that curtesy. Yeah, I have an actual person who I assigned to move around the sticker so there goes an extra paycheck.“

“In that case I promise to give you worthy content. A lot of never previously heard scoop.“ Corpse says, mocking the very words he uses, laughing about them afterwards, “Ask away, man.“

Anthony briefly looks down at a printed sheet of paper before pushing it to the side with a slight furrow of his brows, “You know, these are all cookie-cutter questions you’ve probably been asked many times before. So, I think it’s for the best I ask you something no one has had you talk about. Or something I hope no one has had you talk about yet. If you feel uncomfortable with any question just say so and we’ll skip it right away.“

The sticker moves up and down to mask Corpse’s face as he nods, “Got it.”

“Ok um...“ Anthony falls in thought for a moment, thinking of a question, “The first thing off the top of my head, um, what part of the dark side of fame have you had the displeasure of experiencing?“

Corpse lets out a laugh dangerously close to a scoff, “Almost all if not totally all of it really. There’s such a big chunk of privacy being taken away from you on social media. I got to that point where I felt so naked and seen I felt I was losing myself as my fandom grew. I know it’s many YouTubers’ dream to blow up and have a ton of fans and followers but I never wanted that. Don’t get me wrong, I love each and every one of my fans, I just never expected to accumulate so many of them. I’m such a private person, it was so anxiety inducing in the beginning but I sort of learned how to cope with it, you know? Sometimes, in order to stop people from reaching into my real privacy, I created a fake one that I’d feed into and let them enjoy.”

Anthony’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise, “Wow, how do we know what’s real about you anymore, huh?” It was said more as a joke but he truly meant it. If a person can fake a whole reality for people not to touch into their real one, Lord knows what else they can do.

Corpse huffs, “I’ll give you a hint: If it seems pretty, pink, peach and perfect it’s fake.“ The sticker may be hiding his face from the viewers but it’s most definitely not doing anything to shield the change in expression that occurs on his face from Anthony who’s sitting right across from him and notices the shift right away but before he could question it, Corpse prods on, “Y/N, my partner, can tell you just as much. They know better than anyone what’s the difference between what people know and what the reality is. They know that our relationship isn’t the sunny skies we put on display for our fans. I have my mental and physical health issues, my trust issues and paranoia play a big role in the ‘rains’ in our day-to-day life but they understand it’s all a part of me and a part I can’t control. It actually controls me sometimes and it’s so fucking annoying. But they understand. And while we pretend it’s perfect even though it isn’t, we find our happiness wherever and whenever we can. When it rains so often, you might as well look for a little hint of sunlight. That sunlight can create a rainbow after all. Believe me when I say, that rainbow is the most beautiful thing, makes you forget about the storm that just took place or might even be still raging all around.“ He sighs, preparing to bring his outpour of honesty to a close, “It may be a bumpy road 98% of the time even though on social media we pretend it’s the complete opposite, but that 2% of honest happiness we get from the tiniest of things are more meaningful than I could describe to you with words.“

And he’s more than right, words are often not enough. But the ones he used to describe what he just did were perfectly enough to bring one particular viewer to tears. That particular viewer who knows exactly what he was talking about. Because they are his other half and they’re going through it the same as he is. They’ve gone down that bumpy road side by side with him, ignoring the pain and turmoil while focusing their gaze on the rainbow above. That analogy was theirs from the very start after all. They both knew Y/N is the better one at finding the deeper meaning in everything even when there was nothing to be found.

They always found something. And Corpse will always cherish that trait as one of their best - always finding something to keep them both afloat.

@maat-the-prescriptive @simonsbluee @save-the-sky @itsminniekat @hacker-ghost @bi-andready-tocry @imtiredaffff @jazzkaurtheglorious @hereforbeebo @fandomgirl17 @chrysanthykios @maehemscorpyus @loraleiix @letsloveimagines @annshit @i-cant-choose-a-username-help @enigmaticmaze @divine-artemis @waterlilypat @idontknowwhatthisisfam @evi-ka @classyandfabulous00 @redperson58 @lilysdaydreams @solowheein @mythicalamphitrite @axen-gers @luckygirl144 @nj01 @buddyemily @the-albino-lioness @stardream14 @gdhdkfnn @nomadicgypsyy @preciousskye @fluffysuicideunicornsworld @o-kaelin @manacharlotte @awkward-youtube-trash @lolalee24 @bonky-beerns @meme-lord-and-savior-sebastian @strawbrinkofdeath @teenloves @tams0527 @browneyespinkhair @starstruckllamapuppy @daisychains012 @y0ulooked @tinytacosuitcaseflap @supernatural-is-my-only-life @jula-pauline @melodykitty @just-that-bi-girl @crazybutconfidentaf @lowellshade @alphakees @bellero @weallneednamjesus @starryhanji @boiled-onionrings @husherstan @fockingwhore @melaningoddessthings @prettypastelpetals @haleypearce @godwhyamiawkward @y-napotat @daisychainyoonmin @little-miss-rebel3 @free-wheelin-bi-sexual @redmoon261 @darkacademic2 @wiseflamingoqueen @into-the-end @namikhai-i @nastiablr @thelittleplantlover @mirktuan @dont-hyuck @jjk-bunny @vintagegothlover @easygoingtheatre @itsrandombooklover @miiaivi @emmybaybee @befourgolden @jjk-is-my-shit @eternalteaaars @spacebadgerx @princesslunalight @acequinn14 @samm48 @misselsbells06 @simp-lykawa @fo-love @marishimomura-blog @therealglenncoco @cinnamonbun332 @killtherandomness @sanshinexxxsan @fee-btheweeb @press-lay @cathleenpotgieter16 @jazzydoesstuff @moonlxghtbay @forestrain2000 @hyunjinhugs @blood-of-fandoms @lovellylies @ukiyolixx @simpforhpcharacters @chrisdylan17 @parkerjisung @pedernille @theodonyous @wineandionysus @malfoystilinskii05 @morbid-x @coryisagee @jessewa26 @scoobydooluver97 @mindintheskies365 @raeanneinwonderland @indecisive-empanada @gluttonypalace @loriane2503 @btsiguess-kpop @khaoticbunny @lucidlycactus @smiithys @rottenroyalebooks @kpopgirlbtssvt @fangirl-tc27 @fr0z3n-1 @notmesimpingfortechno @shotarosleftpinky @kunoi-chan @idk-whats-wrong-with-me @yikeroonie @goldenstarofthunderclan @poetry-and-tea @ama-do-writing-stuff @wishbonewolf @emeraldxhope @t0xick1tty @kusuinko @speakyourselfloveyourself @sophia902103 @lo-manburg @classsykittykat @dmgama @depressedpuppythatneedscoffee @btsiguess-kpop @akaashi-baby @gun-jong-simp @geschichtenfee @yerapotato-wp @browneyedgirl365 @thysagclub @sparklycloudnight @helloatomicshadow @queentorresstuff @vtte @val-gal @lucy-bunny17 @aaliyahh0 @katluckybear @boyleanti @straybids @franchesca-791 @cosmicstorm19 @averyisbackinthetrashcan @aomi-nabi @xlanawriter @allensimpsforcorpse @sunnyrae-cessh @ladykxxx08 @meowiemari @renupf @booklover76 @sra-verissimo @beatrhizn @blueberrystigma @beatrhizn @chicken-taco-burrito @scorpios-echos

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toriwakes · 3 years

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Pretty Boy 187 [s.r x reader]

summary: reader finds out that her new found tumblr crush is none other than her coworker.

content warnings: she/her!reader, mentions of alcohol

a/n: hi!! i’m so happy to be posting again. i’m really proud of this, so i hope you all like it! as always, let me know if you have any requests!

convincing spencer to get tumblr was tough. not only did he hate technology, he didn’t like social media either.

“it’s gonna be fun! c’mon, please?” you’ve been bugging him about it for about a week. “spencer, please just download it. if i have to hear (y/n) whine again i’m gonna loose it.” said derek, plopping is papers on his desk. “you like it when i whine.” you teased, causing derek to flash you a toothy grin. “alright! jeez.” you clapped of joy and jumped to help spencer, but he stopped you. “no way, i’m not letting you follow me.” he kept his phone facing away from you, your arms dropping to your sides in defeat. “fine. i’ll find your account somehow.” “we’ll see about that.”

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over the next few weeks you acquired a few new followers, only one catching your eye. ‘prettyboy187’ followed you on a quiet friday afternoon. the username caught your attention at first, but when you checked is profile? that’s when you were hooked. half of his pictures were just aesthetically pleasing: outside of his window, his extreme sugary coffee, some books. but others...

it was an excerpt of a poem and his hand was holding back the pages. you doubt he meant to capture it so beautifully. just his hand was godly. you wasted no time dming him.

hey :)

how desperate did you look right now? he followed you barley an hour ago. you cant stop staring at that picture.

hello

he didn’t sound happy. well, he didn’t “sound” anything, you guys were texting. but you could feel his tone through the screen. where you overthinking this too much? you shuffled into your bed, wrapping yourself in the covers as you pondered what to say next.

i just wanted to tell you i really like your account. are you a photographer or something?

no, i’m not. my friend convinced me to get this app and i noticed people post aesthetically pleasing photos on here, so i’m just doing the same haha.

ok, well you don’t post nice pictures. at least, not that type. maybe you’d post a picture of the snow or your bed, but every now and then you’d bless the feed with a picture of you in a swimsuit. it was more for opinions on the suit than anything else.

ohh. maybe i should start doing that.

how do you mean?

oh.

that sounded like a very judge-y ‘oh’. your eyes scanned your own profile to see what he could’ve hated. there was you in your favorite red swimsuit, a picture of your computer with netflix on the screen. the rest of the posts were of the same type, so you couldn’t pinpoint what the problem was.

what is it?

no, nothing. your recent picture. that’s a nice swim suit.

oh. that’s what he meant. you practically threw your phone across the room and squealed. thank the universe that he didn’t dislike you already. you shot him another text. just like that, you had your first ever tumblr crush.

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“what’s up with you pretty girl?” derek asked when you walked into work. you supposed you still had the blush on your face when pretty boy wished you a good morning and day at work. “nothing!” you said, obviously it being something. as if on cue, spencer walked in behind you also giddy. “what, you’re both sweet on someone now?” when neither of you responded, derek laughed. “what?” emily inquired, taking her seat. “spencer and (y/n) both have a crush.” emily’s jaw dropped. “spencer has a crush?” everyone broke into laughter, jj overhearing and almost dropping her files. “why is that so surprising?” spencer defended himself, derek giving him a ‘you know the answer to that’ look. “well?what’re their names?” he pushed. you bit your tongue. you didn’t even know his name. yikes. “let’s start.” aaron called. saved by hotch. thank goodness. “this ain’t over.” derek warned the two of you. yes it was. by the end of the day morgan would’ve forgotten all about this.

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you were right like always. morgan didn’t ask anymore about it, instead offering to get drinks. you turned it down, desperate to get home and text your boy. and you did, only at 11pm.

hey, sorry it’s so late. had a long day at work.

no worries, so did i. listen, i have a question.

this boy only sent messages that would make your heart drop. with a pacing heart, you texted back.

yes?

his ‘online’ button flashes on. then he was typing. then he was deleting. it seemed like hours before he responded.

what’s your name?

godamnit. you didnt have a display name because you didn’t want anyone you knew finding your account. what’s a fake name you can use? maybe...

lila.

why did you pick spencer’s ex’s name? you don’t know. you remember being insanely jealous of her because she got to kiss spencer in the pool while you were posted outside. your crush on spencer was still very much alive, but not as much as it was with pretty boy.

that’s a pretty name.

thanks. now you have to tell me yours ;)

you’ve never been so nervous for a text conversation in your life. for some reason, the back of your head wondered what it would be like if you were texting spencer. it was just a thought, though. spencer would never say half of this stuff.

call me morgan.

oh NO. please no... you stalked his profile again, terrified that you’ve been flirting with your coworker this past month. alas, your eye caught another body picture- this time of his arm. no tattoos like derek. not to mention he was much smaller. not that that’s a bad thing. you don’t think you’d ever be able to handle derek...

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you arrived at work yet again with a blushing face. “come on, you can’t keep hiding this from me! tell me something at least!” derek whined. “okay! his name is morgan. and i know what you’re thinking, and no, it’s not you, my boy is much more attractive.” derek’s mouth formed into an ‘O’ shape in fake offense. “that’s damn near impossible. ain’t nobody prettier than derek morgan.” spencer walked in now, again with a dorky smile on his face. “spencer. (y/n)’s got a crush on-“ you jumped to cover his mouth, the sound of your crush’s name muffled. “what- hey! no fair! derek gets to know but i cant?” spencer whined. derek held his hands up and sat back down, not wanting to get you mad. smart. “three can’t keep a secret.” was all you said before sitting down to clean your workspace.

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the new highlight of your day was texting morgan. you learned several things about him; he has a job he can’t specify for personal reasons, he really wants a dog but he feels like animals hate him. you told him about your cat joel, and how they could absolutely love him. he appreciated that.

if i tell you something, do you promise not to freak out?

depends. are you about to tell me you’re a serial killer?

no!

you giggled to yourself at your humor.

i wanna meet you.

you promised not to freak out, but you were freaking out. it was just now setting in that you didn’t know this man at all. where he lived, how old he was, even what he looked like. you took a few deep breaths and asked a question.

where do you live?

quantico virginia.

no hesitation on that one. he lived in the same town as you? you didn’t know how you’d be able to turn this down...

shit, me too. let’s meet up then.

i’ll send you a good place to get drinks.

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“every time you walk in here, you’re blushing. now so are your ears.” you beamed at derek, sitting at your desk before spilling. “i’m gonna meet him.” “wait what? are you sure that’s safe?” you rolled your eyes. “i’m an fbi agent. i’m not scared of a little danger.” you playfully winked and derek blew out a huff of air. “if anything happens, you know you can call me.” you pouted at your friend and nodded, appreciating his concern. spencer was spinning in his seat. “you happy too?” you asked. he only nodded and didn’t elaborate. you we’re going to press on, but hotch called you all in and you lost your chance.

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on rare occasions, the bau got tough cases with very happy endings. this was one of those cases. the plane ride home was extremely joyous and derek offered to get drinks again. this time, everyone accepted (all except hotch). you texted morgan telling him you were going out tonight and you wouldn’t be back till late. you laughed to yourself. it was like he was your boyfriend.

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the night was young and you were fairly tipsy. ok that’s generous, you were drunk. you were spending most of your time with penelope and it took you a minute to remember spencer. “ohmygosh! spence!” he was startled at your presence but he gave you that flat mouthed smile of his. “how are you! you’re my favorite scorpio.” you nodded as you said it, as if trying to convince him it was true. “thanks? i’m good. you’re drunk.” he pointed out. “no shit. hey!!! you never showed me your tumblr user! you gotta show me that girl you like, bet you she’s really sexy.” you didn’t even know what you were saying at this point, whipping out your phone and snapping a picture with spencer. “what are you doing?” he asked, watching you type. “posting this on tumblr! i want everyone to know you’re my favorite in the world.” he wanted to ask favorite what, but a ping on his phone distracted him. lila posted. he smiled and checked her page.

holy fuck.

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“(y/n)?” he asked, not looking away from his phone. “yess?” you responded. “what’s your tumblr?” what is your tumblr? “uhhh..i don’t know, check.” you tossed him your open phone, and his eyes only grew wider. “you’re lila?” the words rang through your ears like a siren. “what?” the word was breathy, you couldn’t add stability to what you said. spencer showed you his phone, ‘prettyboy187’ on the screen. “you’re morgan?” still no confidence in your voice whatsoever. your feelings were supposed to change, you weren’t supposed to like that morgan was spencer. but they didn’t. you didn’t even think about the fact he saw your swimsuit photos. you loved that morgan was spencer, and you still wanted to see him on the weekend. “are you mad?” you asked, not being able to stop yourself from sipping from your glass. “no. should i be?” you smiled. “no. do you still wanna meet up this weekend?” “yes. but i don’t wanna get drinks.” he wasn’t even drinking, why is he complaining. “where should we go then?” “my house.”

#spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x fanfiction #spencer reid x you #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid smut #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid #ssa spencer reid #ssa reid #dr spencer reid #doctor spencer reid #criminal minds

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deviantartdramanow · 2 years

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Mod note: zpnn requested for me to submit this anonymously for their own safety regarding privacy

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since he started harassing me again, i thought i’d come forward with the truth instead. lordimhotep/imsorryzpnnverysorry/diegothesabertooth, or as i’m gonna just say, the gaslight guy, did apologise a few months ago - but i smelt a rat. very literally. something seemed very sarcastic, so i originally told him i’d think about it because i didn’t trust him after how he treated me for the past 4 years.

and not even two months later… he’s proven me right yet again.

so, lemme tell you more about this gaslight guy (i forgot pronouns, not malicious misgendering - though do bear in mind, despite the fact i have always used they/them pronouns, he will go out of his way to misgender me with every new account). like, the real stuff. anyway, i cant remember when things started, or why, and at this point it doesn’t matter because he’ll lie about anything and everything to make him feel better. he’s some sort of pretend satanist/christian/catholic/atheist, whatever fits his narrative at the time. but also pretends they all gave him trauma or something like that. at this point, considering hes every religion (oneofgodsfollowers, various satanist accounts by his own admission, etc) and also no religion all at once, alt right (he had one rly dodgy acc at one point, ill have to consult the list), leftist, centrist (centrismistheway) and every politicial belief at once, holding all of these contradictory labels close to his chest - well, that must be awful exhausting!

thus, the gaslight guy. because that’s the one thing that is consistent with his entire identity, and it’s how he treats other people.

basically, he’ll do anything to avoid taking any accountability - in this case, blaming everyone else /but/ himself for being wary of him after he abuses them, and calls them a narcassist for the horrific crime of… blocking and reporting them for what they’re doing. in this case, harassment. and in this case, i have gotten multiple of his accounts banned /for/ ban and block evasion. i’ll do it again every time i find one. but the thing is, he will age an account, hide it for a bit whilst crying wolf, block a few people when they’re (healthily!) skeptical about a 1-2 month account making big claims about another human being without any proof, and then either get banned or deactivate in one big loop. don’t be surprised if it happens to this newest lot, because it will.

some tells, but i’m pretty sure he’ll change them ASAP once i point them out, since that’s what he does.

overuse of the -_- emoji indicative of typing style. nothing wrong with the emoji in itself, though, just he does this with a lot of other stuff. peppers this a lot in all of the texts he uploads about himself, his endless list of labels, his nightmares (which arent his brains fault you see, but everyone else’s for existing), his hallucinations/delusions and obsessions, etc.

loves to argue about religion. i think this is just his favourite thing to argue about. his stance and religion changes on the account, the weather, and his mood, sometimes maybe flipping a good 3 times before he deactivates that account - he’s not consistent. its clearly one person, but one person pretending to be a group of people who don’t know about the person they’re writing about. huh, meta. (if you’re confused: now you’re on the same page as i am, bud. ive had four years of this shit.)

hyperixations on kron (some dinosaur character), lordimhotep and satan. claims they talk to him and imagines his nightmares (which are pretty very real and valid, if we don’t count the

endless rants about religion. tries to be subtle about it. fails. wonders why he got found midst other things.

usernames sometime shave xXThisFormatXx, references some star wars evil guy (i dont know star wars dont shoot me, maul and darth and some other shit), etc. he’s once made multiple accounts to sockpuppet himself, which is always a little wild because they end up becoming the same person.

posts rants on rantrampage. clealry uses the users names, so its very easy to find by googling “your username” and “deviantart”. usually focuses on lapis-lazuri, which is how you’ll know it’s the gaslight guy again. he has a specific voice that he gets very pissy about, and gaslight guy will put him on troll websites to try and make an army attack him. it usually fails.

overshares about religious trauma, mannequins (which are pretty damn creepy tbh so i feel him on that one), horrible nightmares where he… blames people for being in his dreams, despite it being his brain. sort of the equivalent of being like ‘omg you cheated’ to your spouse when your spouse kisses someone else in the dream… so yes, quite literally 'in your dreams’ ig.

approaches drama blogs to spread false claims. see here - https://dramaticaldrama.tumblr.com/search/zpnn (I submitted proof to the admin, including his past accounts, and the slanderous post he made was deleted after they checked. This was after I’d already gotten 2 or 3 accounts of his banned for block evading me and harassing me. Memories hazy on exact number, but he usually deactivates before being found out.) - there was another one, but i forgot the tumblr and i really cbf to bring it up.

aligns with any troll that’s big at the time - triagonal in this case, but also that reddraws person. don’t be surprised if he makes everything about himself and makes a dream team with tali. he is literally not capable of logical thought or self awareness at this point.

slanders and lies about /everything/, ages a new account because he knows full well he is block and ban evading, gets banned or deactivates, rinse, repeats. uses the same emojis and hyperfixations. lordimhotep etc.

kron and lordimhotep, kerb of the bug brothers etc - he’ll occasionally post his drawings which have a similar style. not gonna hate on his art though, no point lol. but the point here is that this is sometimes shared between accs. not always.

his accounts will be around 1-4 months old once he starts using them. i think he lets them age. people still see through this when he pretends he’s been around for years though. convinced he already has one aging that i havent told you about. usually, this is when he starts with the obsessive slandering stuff.

i don’t know his direct involvement with lapis-lazuri before this all started, but i personally only met him after diego started harassing me abt 4 years ago. proooobably about 2-3 years in? i’d heard mention of the name, and this started to be a way i recognised gaslight guy when he made new stuff - all sorts of one-two month accounts making up shit as if they’re familiar with the same person? yeah, that’s definitely an alt. i was dubious about any claims this stalker made in particular because he slandered and lied about me at every turn, so why would i just take his claims as valid, when he didnt make any true ones about me?

i’m going to be the first one to admit it - if i’d done anything wrong i’d have apologised. im not that stubborn! if you’d blocked me i would’ve just left it there. (granted, with every alt account you made there’s every likelihood i might’ve not recognised you, and interacted with you anyway considering, again, as this was unprovoked there wasn’t a problem, but it wouldn’t have been deliberate block evasion). yeah, ive made mistakes - but i know i haven’t made any with you.

like how on a veeeery old account of mine i was really shitty to my friends in 2007! because i was 11 years old and such an edgy preteen… which, unfortunately, you don’t seem to have ever grown out of, gaslight guy!

the apology which he sent - and is probably still in my DMs somewhere, if he hasn’t deleted it, and may be on his dA still - literally has him admit, several times, that he lies. he knows he lies. he’s already proven that he lies on multiple occasions, and that he knows i didn’t do anything to warrant it.

so why do it anyway, gaslight guy?

this is what i’ll never understand. maybe im too optimistic. maybe im too autistic. (yes, i can legally make this joke, i was officially diagnosed twice. thanks nhs lmao)

this is why i was dubious about his “apology”. not to mention the name sounded sarcastic to me. and just… weird. impersonator-y. like… leave me alone, pls. when i first saw the name on the DM i thought it was going to be another sarcastic apology telling me to kill myself. joke’s on you, bud, i’ve already tried that prior to all of this (2016, prior to all of the harassment which started in 2017-2018ish provided i haven’t accidentally met gaslight guy sooner and just not realised) and it didn’t work. if i die its on my terms, not yours :D - and im proud to say i’ve never said anything like that to anyone, nor deliberately misgendered them. yes, that makes me better than you, now you can cry about me being a narcissist and self project again whilst you continue being the actual narc here.

like the time i got him banned for changing his avatar to 'zpnn kill yourself’. yeah, super cool kerbthebug! remind me to take a screenshot of all of the tickets i have if they still have those logged.. hmm, now i’m wondering if this guy’s maybe the one that made the rumors about me killing myself… the times do line up. that’s really fucked up, buddy, but this is your typical routine isn’t it lol.

i did hear something about a cult re: lapis-lazuri, but any credibility these claims might have had are currently being absolutely ruined by a . if those users are still out there - for the love of fuck cut your ties with him. he’s hurting your case and he /will/ harrass you. he’s harassed puppets like menslady in the past. you’ll just be the next people he targets the moment you don’t blindly agree with everything. trust me, i know - i’ve had enough people come to me in DMs (privately) and tell me about it after the fact.

if i had done anything wrong, i would have apologised by now. and i haven’t, since as far as im aware this is entirely unprovoked. some baby kiwifarmer, i think. he’s so inconsistent it makes me wonder if it’s one troll, multiple trolls, or what. i consider that he’s mentally ill too, just like me. maybe. but it still doesn’t excuse his behavior or how it makes me feel.

anyway, of the ones i’ve blocked, this blog actually seems to already have a list of some of them, albeit not exhaustive - thanks to whoever wrote it up, this actually helps me get it over faster before i grab a more extensive one -

https://deviantartdramanow.tumblr.com/day/2021/06/01

https://deviantartdramanow.tumblr.com/post/652844846542897152/22-ban-evaders-originality-is-starting-to

https://deviantartdramanow.tumblr.com/day/2021/05/31

https://deviantartdramanow.tumblr.com/post/652760049056399360/the-ban-and-block-evader-diegothesabertooth-is-now

I can confirm all of these are him. There are more, but I’ll send you a list of those I still have once i have access to deviantART again. and here’s the thing - even the one in my block list isnt exhaustive. i know hes in double digits, but with how long he’s been harassing lapis lazuri as well, now i’m starting to think he’s already in the triple. i’m sick and tired of being quiet about this because, clearly, he’s just going to keep making up shit and harassing me for the fun of it.

i’ll also start sending screenshots once i have access to my account again, deviantart archive links where appropriate, videos showing its not just edited in inspect element, etc.

because i’ve got one thing on him. the truth. and that’s all i need to prove him wrong. honestly, im gonna play ball on this - you want something proven about this guy or proven wrong about the people he harasses?

ask me. i admire a healthy amount of scepticism and i am willing to work with you to get past language barriers etc to show you what he’s like.

i will go out of my way to help you, since this guy is openly harassing me. mostly because he really doesn’t think things through and just pulls up the most transparent shit people immediately poke holes through. the amount of times he’s called people to harass me though is laughable, since when i show them the truth and clear up the misconceptions, they immediately ask him for proof, he goes absolutely batshit, blocks them and then harasses them too.

and then deactivates, because he knows he’s wrong, and makes a new account. (or the mods get in first and ban him for block and ban evading… you’d think he’d go elsewhere by now.)

ad nauseum. im pretty sure lapis-lazuri, who i would have never have met without this stalker harassing the both of us, is also just as sick of this.

i would’ve looked into the cult claims myself, but i am so tired of gaslight guy gaslighting and abusing me with shit he’s made up that i’m just not going to. the other people involved with that are welcome to PM me on here or the discord i linked and we can talk to each other, but im not talking to someone who’s done nothing but lie obsessively about me for 4 years. all i want is him to leave me tf alone. he’s clearly doing the same thing to lapis and latching onto /any/ claims - like he’s doing with me with triagonal - blindly. as he’s doing to me. and no, i don’t agree with lapis’s anti-vaxx shit. im sure we have a lot of things we disagree on. but im not going to believe someone who makes up shit on a daily basis (ala, diego/gaslight guy) to harass people he doesn’t like.

it stinks of backhanded, petty bullshit, and i’ve never been about that.

on the other hand, though i was at first dubious about triagonal being a pedophile, i looked it up on my own time and saw the proof myself. he did, indeed, attempt to groom a 14 year old on multiple occasions. he’s very mad that the proof got out. there are multiple archive links (which cannot be faked) and much more. and that makes me wonder how much he’s hidden.

whereas all triagonal and diego/gaslight guy do is make new accounts, make up lists, and offer no proof. at all.

you may need 100 accounts. i only need one.

checkmate.

and i dont know who the anon was who was watching out for me, but i’d like to extend them a thanks for looking out for me. i think you’ve been around longer than i realised based on these lists. im okay! i’m literally just without dA access in general at the moment. i enjoyed the break away from this BS, but at the moment my mental state is declining for obvious reasons.

ive never dealt well with people being passive aggressive, but i can’t stand liars for serious stuff like this. considering they’ve gotten me harassed by people for supposedly being “a huge transphobic terf” (im literally trans, fuck off! trans rights are human rights and there is literally no transphobic way to take that, wtf!?) in the case of CutePastelStars and another user DistortedFox (pls dont drag them into this - i don’t remember pronouns sorry and i also dont know if theyre on new accounts since) but both came forward to me to explain this eventually, that it was more stuff he made up. if i have those notes still i’ll also screenshot.

like… this shit is just frustrating and impedes my actual growth. when i actually do things wrong, i apologise for them and we move on stronger. if you’re going to make shit up, all you’re doing is making us both mad.

zpnn ( foxcrow (they/them)#0690 on discord - gaslight guy and triagonal, neither of you are welcome to add me after this repeated harassment, fuck off. )

PS. as a 'funny’ side note, i officially left maybe a year or two ago. the only reason i come back is to lurk on forums or because i have to deal with this bullshit again. you’d think gaslight guy would get a better hobby… and get the hint he’s not welcome on deviantART after repeatedly block and ban evading. but he never does, because he lacks accountability and self awareness.

and honestly thats just sad.

—

(feel free to sperate this below into a diff one, sorry for spamming your inbox, mods)

also, about triagonal; well, people here have already presented evidence about his bullshit, but i actually blocked him a while ago on discord for being hella racist. he was being very, very aggressive and denying white privilege (not even on the grounds of intersectionality, which i can almost see if i squint, but in general) and he resorted to transphobia and general aggressive ad hominem to the point i left the server we were originally discussing these things about. i know it was a dA related discord, but dont remember which one. i just remember the mods were useless about dealing wit it, they couldnt be arsed, so i just blocked him and left it.

he later block evaded, despite knowing my dA account, to post some useless spam on my page. i deleted it. that one’s probably on me for not immediately blocking him across every platform he was on. didn’t think he’d bother to try, considering he’d preached so much about being anti-harassment or whatever, but whatever. then the pedophile allegations came up, people presented proof, and then he went directly down the other stalker’s path.

they’re both very alike in their gaslighting and lying ways, so they’re a perfect match for each other. (though really, gaslight guy - siding with a proven pedophile? new low, man.) as long as they leave me alone and realise that they’re going to get banned soon for harassment and block evasion (again, in diego/gaslight guy’s case! thats over double digits now. good job, caggon junior!), then y'know. maybe i’ll finally get some peace.

also thanks for extra evidence on the block evasion triagonal. thats going straight to mods once im back on deviantart. enjoy your permaban! :D (i do believe i also got you banned from buzzly for harassing someone else, if they listened to my ticket… good job on blowing that, bud.)

all that aside, i really don’t have to explain why i blocked these two, but i thought i would anyway. feels nice to know i’m not alone on this one. if anyone’s got any tips on how best to report/word the future reports i’d appreciate it!

#deviantart #drama #mod post #imsorryzpnnverysorry #diegothesabertooth

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savnofilter · 4 years

Note

I think you're hilarious in such a good way and Im new to Tumblr. Your work is amzing and i was wondering if you have any bnha blog recommendations or must read fics?

WARNING! this gets long as SHIT. so im sorry. im on mobile so liek,, also there are shit ton of amazing writers on here but my memory has been terrible as of recently, so sorry about that. all the people mentioned have really good fics so going through their masterlist is the bes option i have on here for you!! also sorry this was so late, i did a lot of username checking and now finally got the balls to post this with their @s cnuidwneovn- also!! be mindful because i was iffy in tagging some because i wasnt too sure if they wrote for bnha anymore. so w/o further adieu!!!now for my fave ao3 fics (with no ranking)~

His Tryanny by goodboysensei (tumblr; @tobobio)

au: fantasy

summary: “Deep in a land just like in the fairy tales, lives 4 different kingdoms. But when a hot headed king of one kingdom wants to take over, he seeks for more power. A girl locked away in a tower for her entire life because of her forbidden power, finds a new life when an ash blonde male comes flying through her window. How will their life play out?”

my thoughts: FUCKINGT AMAZING BOOK LIKE I FUCKING STAN. TT its so fucking good! the angst, the tension, angry bloody bakugo?! fucking check! amazing book!! 12/10 will always recommend. mc will say “million reasons” i be like “his tyranny tho, 👀” (and other books but we have to appreciate my highness rq).

completed: yis!

My Angel by goodboysensei (tumblr; @tobobio)

au: greek mythology

summary: “The infamous fallen angel, serving under Hades (AFO), Bakugou Katsuki, was known for constantly wreaking havoc within heaven. Defying against God and other deities, he was blacklisted from Heaven. (l/n) (y/n) being an elite archangel under Athena (Miruko), is set on a mission to rid of Bakugou Katsuki but takes a 180 when you sudden began developing feelings for the crooked angel during the confrontation – him reciprocating the feelings. Though relationships between a worker of God and a demon was the greatest sin, and faced consequences to those who are caught. ~ Having to sneak around and hide your relationship with the fallen angel how would an archangel keep her status under God while simultaneously keeping an accursed romantic affair.(sorry i suck at summaries lmao)”

my thoughts: you know, i just have a craving to live a life in greekish-mythologyish and reading lore of olympus makes it partly redeemed. but this takes the cake. LIKE?! oh my fucking god! absoluetely love and im still reading it cause im slow asf but its so good so far! and she doesnt at all, the summaries are what got me interested!!

completed: neh~

I’m Broken Too (Shigaraki x Reader x Dabi) by Kikyo851 (quotev; kikyo851/tumblr; @heroes-among-us-all)

au: canon

summary: “What’s a girl to do when she can’t quite make it as a hero? Become a villain, of course.”

my thoughts: okay so youre thinking, “that summary is short asf” but godtdamn the book is motherfucking good dawg. lieke,,, this absolutely fueled my villain spark way back whenever. (you can gladly thank this book and all the dabi fics from @lord-explosion-baku, who also has a book called “thorns” which is also on ao3. i havent read it because im not into that au but it has many good reviews!!)

completed: neh~

Million Reasons by Chub_Rye (other socials; not listed)

au: future canon (?)

summary: “This is not a happy story, you really wished it was but how can it be when your marriage is falling apart. You truly love your husband, the thing is…he doesn’t seem to feel the same anymore ((Trigger warning: this is a very emotional heavy story, you have been warned.)) Inspiration: Million Reasons by Lady Gaga”

my thoughts:

*if i had the time i would edit to: “im fucking sobbing fam”* because this shit hurtedt. like, HURTEDT. this book, this very book is the reason why fucking katsuki fucking bakugo slapped down the damn rankings on my list. didnt fucking like him for like two weeks, just thinking about him made me mad as FUCK. but its written so good i cant be mad?! i… okay moving on before i start crying and listing reasons why katsuki needs to CHOKE in this damn book. also if you dislike deku then this story will change. you.

completed: neh~

Muted by HecateSG (other socials; not listed)

au: canon

summary: “A collection of short one-shot stories where the reader has lost the ability to speak due to an incident that ranges from accident, to intentional, which now leaves you in the care of at least one of this dashing and intrepid cast of characters. There will be a variety of scenario’s explored and kinks touched upon for all you curious depraved little ones. ~ The only thing these all have in common is that the Reader will remain almost exclusively quiet the entire time ~ The tags will be updated as more chapters are released.”

my thoughts: this is a one-shot book (no cohesive storyline unless chosen) but its so good. so good. i thought shigaraki, dabi and all might in one book was interesting but never the less, super good! i never was interested in the mute concept but its written good? (but thinking about it all the other mute!reader fics are good but they wont nsfw so it didnt interest me-) furthermore, its so good. so pure. so hot. 11/10 would recommend.

completed: neh~

Nightclub AU by sour_pink29 (tumblr; @heros-amoung-us)

au: well… nightclub

summary: “U.A. is the most prestigious and well known nightclub in the world. It takes a high price and a creditable reputation to attend the club, but only because it makes your wildest dreams and fantasies come true. The workers are the best of the best: the 1A class; with the sexiest dancers, flirtatious waitresses and waiters, master bartenders, and high class security. It’s truly no wonder why the rich and famous travel from all corners of the world to have one special night at U.A. ~ As a waitress at the club, you were used to dealing with rich, handsome, high maintenance bachelors. But when 6 mysterious men enter the club and your life, you feel something different spark between you and them as they turn your life on it’s head. For better or for worse… ~ AU where you and the 1A class (and some other characters) are workers at the club. Kaminari, Kirishima, Katsuki, Shoto, Tetsu, Izuku, and Sero are all competing for your attention. ~ WILL INCLUDE NSFW IN SOME CHAPTERS ;)”

my thoughts: THGIS BOOK FUCKIN SLAPS. HANDS DOWN WOULD TOOT MY ASS UP FOR THIS! (thought about dropping my studies and just fucking doing stripper work-) like wow… its a good book and the writer was prob one of the first wirters i followed on here?! (thats if tumblr didnt fucking remove my damn following like it usually does. ._.) enough about that, its really good. i think about it often.

completed: neh~

Plus Ultra! One-shots and Requests by MistressPikachu (FinalVolition) [tumblr; @adelheidvonschicksal]

au: varies

summary: “A place to store all my smaller drabbles for BNHA. NSFW and SFW requests CLOSED!”

my thoughts: um so she write for *everything* but not like everything, everything. so sometimes it be like a red flag so make sure you are reading it carefully on the story you click on! personally, since theyre a good asf writer i usually dip my toe in all of them but sometimes i just cant but the ones i can, i read over and over and over again. worth a million reads tbh. 12/10 would recommend if youre nasty like that (and i KNOW you guys are).

completed: neh~

slutty one shots by cherrykwrites (tumblr; @cherrykwrites)

au: varies

summary: “Collection of some slutty short scenarios. Mostly Bakugo, could include other characters too. ~ Everything will be NSFW in this collection. ~ Themes like non con, underage, alcohol, bdsm, daddy kinks, ect could occur in these writings. ~ These are purely works of fiction and do not reflect reality, I do NOT condone any of the immoral actions written in these.”

my thoughts: so of course i could not leave the og, the real home slice, cherry-mother-k-fuckin-writes- CAN WE CLAP FOR THE QUEEN? so essentially, her shit is good asf. you should read it cause its good asf. shes not around that much but she def is really good! (also has my thinking about writing some tattoo artist!bakugo these days, or even a series for my husbandos…). never thought about sandwhiched between kirishima and bakugo until i came across her fics~

completed: neh~

Euphoria - NSFW Series by NekokoaFanfiction (tumblr; @nekokoafanfictions)

au: varies

summary: “Just a bunch of BNHA characters involved in several different kinks with you. ~ Summary of first chapter: ~ “Katsuki…”That mewl you made was hard to hear but somehow it reached Midoriya’s ears and he gulped as he saw said man standing up from the ground in front of you. A smirk as wide as it can be with his tongue brushing the corners of his mouth as if he just finished eating the best meal of his life.————————- Basically, Midoriya is in for a emotional ride lol”

my thoughts: they are such a good writer. another one-shots book but they will appear once again on the list but this book is just beautiful. and im a perv. so. have fun.

comepleted: neh~

⚠️okay so this is a series of fics from one writer, but instead of making a shit ton on the list (because if this isnt long already) its by the user QuillMind (tumblr; @quillmind) here are some of my faves:⚠️

Incendiary ~ a/b/o, “Mating season has come yet again. Bakugou has even more trouble controlling it than in previous years… and it’s all your fault.”

Mating Hunt ~ a/b/o, “You and Bakugou have been together for some time. Though you both know you only want each other, your bond won’t truly be permanent and known to all until he claims you during mating season. And as impatient as Bakugou is, as an Alpha, he loves a good chase. You decide to give him one.”

Story Time - A Reader x BNHA Multific by WhenSarahSmiles (tumblr; @makethiscanon)

au: fairytale/storybook/canon-ish

summary: “Whilst fighting a powerful villain, you find yourself sucked into the world their quirk created with no memories of your old life. Yet, the men you meet along the way have a familiar feel to them. Perhaps they can help you unlock your memories? ~ A Hero Academia/Fairy Tale mash up, there’s plenty of chaos to follow even if you think you know the classic stories well. ~ [Warning: Explicit Content from chapter 3 onwards] ~ [I will warn you which chapter features the non-con]] ~ “

-> Story one: Little Red Riding Hood (Katsuki Bakugou x Reader)-> Story two: The Little Mermaid (Shouto Todoroki x Reader)-> Story three: Jack and the Beanstalk (Eijirou Kirishima x Reader)-> Story four: The Three Little Pigs (Denki Kaminari x Reader)-> Story five: Sleeping Beauty (Shouto Todoroki x Reader x Katsuki Bakugou)-> Story six: Snow White and the Seven Dwarves (Midoriya, Tokoyami, Sero, Monoma, Ojiro, Shinsou x Reader)

my thoughts: bitch i have no thoughts. i only have THOTS. this is a masterpiece, like ive been lacking, the one im on rn is the kirishima one and it worth the read, and i bet the ones after that have been just as amazing! amazing work 11/10 would recommend.

completed: neh~

Wolves Among Us (Mini Series) by NekokoaFanfiction (tumblr; @nekokoafanfictions)

au: fantasy

summary: “Something about watching him lick your chilled skin was stirring something within you. Your legs started to shiver, but not of the cold that surrounded your slightly exposed body but of a feeling blossoming in the inner regions of your lower stomach. You were getting lost in the rhythm of his pants, wandering in the hazy want of his intense eyes. Your breath began to tremble, and you tried to squeeze your legs together to withstand the odd sensation growing, but he held your leg still and showed no signs of letting go. You were suddenly aware of his hand on your lower thigh, and you noticed that it was the first time a man’s hand had touched there. ~ You were a flower that had yet to bloom in the late of spring. Pure, untouched and suddenly, bombarded with desires. You never shivered in the way a man could make you, and curiosity—maybe naivety, was keeping you from your fear of the beast. —————– Basically, you fall in love with a rude wolf man. ~ Mini series!! Werewolf!Bakugo x Human!Reader, Fantasy AU ~ Inspired by The Company of Wolves by Angela Carter”

my thoughts: i ride this books ASS for updates. my favourite bakugo au’s are fantasy (wit da dragoons) and were!katsuki (haluween). i fucking love it, i love their works. theyre busy with school (like i should be but scholars are all different-) trust me its so good. it has that good spice that make fill my heart with sexy uwuwuwuwuwuwuwus. love it.

completed: neh~

Katsuki Bakugo Scenario Collection by Hvalross (tumblr; @cutesuki–bakugou)

au: varies

summary: “A collection of oneshots and scenarios I’ve done for Bakugou, both personal works and requests on my blog Cutesuki-Bakugou. ~ Please note that the rating of each story will be in the notes of the chapter. Stories range from TEEN to EXPLICIT.”

my thoughts: oh my god. i reread this one chap over and over and over and over and over and over- and over again. the stories range from cute to just good smut and its so good. so beautifully written. and i cant help but just appreciate it. love it sm. (also sorry if i tagged the wrong tumblr im confsued as to which one you use ahaha)

completed: neh~

Wish the World Away by hoshigalaxy (other socials; not listed)

au: canon

summary: “bakugou katsuki is the number one hero. but with this title comes a huge target on his back. sometimes it’s better to stay single when you’re a pro hero. there could be accidents. ~ but that’s three years in the past now and bakugou is slowly moving on from what’s happened. that is until he runs into his mysterious new neighbour and things get complicated again.”

my thoughts: ;-; this one hits different. almost like a million reasons type of different. i dont want to spoil it but godt damn man. there is so much to be uncovered but it really hasnt been updated. (cri) its a beautiful book tho. fingers crossed for when it updates next.

completed: neh :

Up in Smoke. (Soulmate AU) by Grapelimeade (tumblr; @gojirabbit)

au: well,, soulmate

summary: “Bakugou doesn’t want a fucking soulmate.”

my thoughts: may i say…it is such a stark contrast to Million Reasons. it is so fucking captivating i will not shit you. this book, is amazing. im just saying, that midoriya scene tho,, 👀 that kirishima friendship,, 💪🏽 its so good…? got me panting for the next chap (and no not like that weirdos but there is nsfw because when tf do you catch me reading a fic without nsfw…?) but i recommend. mc: million reasons tho me: up in smoke tho-

completed: neh~

Vermilion by Morgana_Ren (tumblr; @morgana-ren)

au: canon

summary: “Tomura Shigaraki had a goal. It started out simple enough. Kill All Might, and watch the society that revered heroes above all else crumble to dust alongside their idol. However, what originally starts off as a chance encounter with a UA student during the battle of USJ sends him reeling down the crooked path of obsession.”

my thoughts: its just…? my shigaraki thirst was sparked from this very story. it good, supplies my shifty hands needs and it suffices the boiling lust in my clit. wish we’d see more cause i love it already and it blends the story line well. love it. 11/10

completed: neh~

words hurt [Bakugo Katsuki x Reader] by QueenExplosionMurder (tumblr; @strawberryandspiceandchocolate)

au: canon

summary: “*more tags to be added* ~ when Bakugo Katsuki friendzones the reader, their friendship takes a nose dive off of the face of the earth and he doesn’t hear from her for a while. that is until she is suddenly thrown back into his life, quite literally actually…”

my thoughts: well you think i can go a post without tagging my president? youre fucking wrong. i have actually posted my own prev of her book which you can find here. i am just astonished at well the mood is (because tb when all i would talk about is mood) because mood is just good. it doesnt seem cliche to me. cant wait until the next update.

completed: neh~

You and Yamada by Jo_Rutherford_Lee (other socials; not listed)

au: varies

summary: “Just a few short Present Mic/Reader PWPs I needed to get out of my head.”

my thoughts:

i love this book. couldnt find the yamada book i was looking for but i would be lying if this doesnt revive my yamada love every once in awhile. (jk i found the book but this one is really cute and a quick read!!)

completed: yis

Singed Rose Petals: (Alpha) Dabi x (Omega) Reader by Smutsy (other socials; not listed)

au: a/b/o

summary: ““The villains were always ugly in books and movies. Necessarily so, it seemed. Because if they were attractive - if their looks matched their charm and their cunning - they wouldn’t only be dangerous. They would be irresistible.” - Nenia Campbell”

my thoughts: ohhhh because you guys thought that i’d go through a post without mentioning dabi? LOL so,, this book has brought many many many happy coochie tingles to me. i would murder to be dabi’s omega. and DAS on baby. never was really interested in a/b/o stuff till i read this. love it so much 11/10.

completed: yis

special mentions:

BNHA Brothel by orphan_account [multiple, unfinished]

Hero Killer’s Charge by VulcanCaptain [stain x reader, unfinished]

Mouth Moods by Koalolive (twitter; renlup) [present mic, unfinished]

and god please dont fucking roast me i had a hawks faze. Birb Office for Birbs by insanityrunsinthe_family

453 notes · View notes

fandom-smut-shots · 4 years

Text

Quarantine Chapter 3

Chapter Two

Chapter Four

A/N: I don’t know if any of Oikawa’s fangirls have names, so for now they don’t.

A few days later, calls and messages between you and the volleyball hottie had become a regular thing. His flirting hadn’t ceased at all during your conversations, and though it made your heart flutter and your brain tingle, you tried to convince yourself that it didn’t mean anything. You knew about his fan club and how he was a notorious flirt, especially if he got something out of it in return. The rational part of your brain told you that he didn’t mean anything when he complimented your hair or commented on a photo; he was just being nice, passing the time while he couldn’t leave his house. Once the quarantine ended and volleyball was back in session, he’d drop you like you’d never spoken before.

But the emotional part of your brain hoped desperately that there was some truth to his words, even just a sliver. You’d had half a mind to ask one of his friends- you’d watched enough of his Instagram stories to be able to pinpoint who knew him the best- for a second opinion, but that seemed too clingy and annoying for you to ever follow through. You didn’t want to scare him away. Insincere flirting was nicer than zero contact.

It was early afternoon, a few hours after your call with Oikawa ended. He’d been his usual charming self, and it left you smiling dreamily while you scrolled your Instagram feed.

A message notification popped up, and your heart leapt to your throat in the hopes that it was Oikawa. Clicking on your inbox, you frowned upon discovering that the message request was from an account you didn’t recognize. After clicking on it, curiosity whirling in your brain, dread began to pool in your abdomen upon reading its contents.

future_mrs_oikawa

I dont know who u think u are, but u need to leave oikawa alone. Hes not interested in u so back off.

Who the hell was this? Did Oikawa have a girlfriend? He’d never mentioned one… but you supposed that wasn’t particularly your business, was it?

(y/username)

Uh… I don’t know who you are at all, but Oikawa and I are just friends. Acquaintances, really. We just talk on Instagram sometimes.

future_mrs_oikawa

ud be lucky to be his friend. Im the president of his fan club and we dont have any room for creepy fags like u.

Uhm, rude. You weren’t creepy. And who even used the word “fag” anymore?

(y/username)

I don’t know what your deal is but you need to settle down. Oikawa can talk to whoever he likes. Sorry that person isn’t you.

Her next reply was a string of poorly spelled expletives, threatening your life should you ever set foot in Oikawa’s presence in person. You promptly blocked the account, sighing softly as you set your phone on your bedside table. You hadn’t meant to cause any trouble… though you weren’t sure the person harassing you had any closer of a relationship to Oikawa than you did. She’d called herself the president of his fan club, not his friend or his girlfriend. Still, it left an empty feeling in your gut, and you weren’t very fond of it.

Later that evening, your phone chimed again, and like the lovesick puppy you were, you prayed for it to be Oikawa. Instead, it was another username you didn’t recognize. Biting your lip in fear that it would be a repeat of your last spontaneous conversation, you opened the message request.

Iwahaji

Is this the guy oikawas been calling every other day?

You felt a blush settling across your face. Was this a friend of the volleyball hottie? Had he told his friends or teammates about you?

(y/username)

Uh yeah… Who is this?

Iwahaji

My name is iwaizumi. Im oikawa’s friend and teammate.

(y/username)

Nice to meet you…?

Iwahaji

Hes been talking about you a lot.

(y/username)

He has??

Iwahaji

Yeah. You seem to be important. I just wanted to warn you.

That old feeling of dread and emptiness returned, twisting your insides hard enough to make you want to curl in on yourself.

(y/username)

Warn me?

Iwahaji

Oikawa… hes a good guy deep down but hes a flirt. A womanizer. I know that doesnt apply to you but he told me hes been flirting and I cant tell how serious he about it.

(y/username)

So I’m just one of the many?

Iwahaji

I… didnt quite mean it like that, but kind of. He usually only tells me about the people hes talking to or flirting with when he is genuinely interested, so thats a good sign if youre interested in him.

But youre the first guy hes been interested in in a long time, so theres that.

Well… that had to be a good sign, right?

(y/username)

Well… thanks, I think? Look I know I don’t know him very well, I mean we’ve never even met in person that I can recall. But I do like him, and I very much like flirting with him. So I appreciate your warning, though I am scared that he’s just passing time talking to me.

Iwahaji

At first I didnt listen to him when he talked about you cuz I thought exactly that. But when hes not serious he moves on pretty quickly. Hes been talking about “cute Instagram guy” for weeks now.

He’d been talking about you… for weeks? To his best friend? You’d only been calling and messaging for about three, and on a regular basis for even less time.

(y/username)

That’s… as long as we’ve been talking. Does he really talk about me that much?

Iwahaji

Yeah. Every day. Its annoying.

(y/username)

Oh… sorry?

Iwahaji

I just wanted you to know. Hes a good flirt so people always think hes serious about his intentions and with you he might be. But I thought you deserved a warning in case he isnt.

With a sigh, you prepared yourself to make the request you’d been talking yourself out of making. His friend had approached you first, reached out to you on his own… Your request wasn’t so unprecedented now, was it?

(y/username)

Hey… uh… since you’re his friend… do you think you could ask him about me? Find out how serious he actually is?

There was a pause between replies, and you worried that you’d offended the guy somehow.

Iwahaji

Ill see what I can do. he gets flustered pretty easily and he closes up when he really doesnt want to talk about something.

(y/username)

Is that good or bad?

Iwahaji

I guess well find out.

Success!

(y/username)

Thank you.

He didn’t reply after that, so you set your phone back down and flopped backwards onto your bed. Staring up at your ceiling, you couldn’t help the grin that stretched across your face. You didn’t get confirmation that Oikawa wanted a relationship with you, but you had been informed that he talked about you. A lot. To his best friend.

That had to mean something, right?

#haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #toru oikawa #oikawa x reader #toru oikawa x reader #reader insert #male reader #oikawa x male reader #quarantine

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dear--charlie · 4 years

Text

Dear Charlie,

Date: Wednesday, August 14, 2019 Time: 11:56 pm

I’m curious. Does anyone look forward to reading my letters? -calls out- “Anyone?” -dead silence emits so deafening, I stop talking-

So.. I was reading letters I have sent you. And, shit. The people who take the time to read these letters must think I am selfish.

All I talk about are men, my attraction to men, my desire to have a girlfriend, or whatever.

Which, if y'all know me, you KNOW, I’m going to get back to it.

But for a short bit, let’s talk about things that aren’t guys or girls.

Here are a number of facts about me you, Charlie, and other people reading this may not know about…

I’m very unsatisfied with my weight. I weigh about 195 pounds, and am working to drop to 120 pounds. I don’t feel attractive in my skin. I can’t see my vag anymore.

I haven’t orgasmed ever. I am 24 fucking years old. Why the fuck haven’t I cum yet? God..

Happier topics, Mare. Okay. There is this app I use called SLOWLY, where you create a username, and bio about yourself. You can start sending letters to people across the world. I’ve had letters coming in from China, India especially, the U.K., Australia, Taiwan, Russia, Portugal, tip of Africa. So many letters. And, you do get standard. ‘Yo baby. Send me nudes.’ This one guy got clever and asked me for nudes in Morse Code. I kindly sent him back to go fuck himself. The only person who gets to see my beautiful breasts is me, and the barren vag, cause I swear to myself, I never ever see Nic. (<– Sorry. No talk of guys for the next few paragraphs). The issue is.. like, there is an option where you can send three letters at a time. With an intro letter. One night, I thought it would he fun (WORST. MISTAKE. EVER.) to send 15 letters. (Keep in mind about 4 of the many letters I have sent, do I keep up a regular correspondence with. So, add 15 potential regular friends, and you have a recipe for disaster). Omgosh, Charlie + readers: I never have time to respond to these letters. Damnit, me. Why the fuck did you do that?

Okay. I started a new job. Yeah. You heard right. The ever so fucking afflicted depressed, intoroverted, frustrated, book crazy, bisexual who cant hold down a job, found a new one. Through a temp agency. I work with ______ _____ ____, at _____ _____, which is just 10 minutes from my house. The job is way better than the piece of shit I put up with for 6 mths. I love the different calls we get. But the mother fucking training at this call centre was mother flipping shit. There are so many 'processes’ you have to remember when helping a 'guest’ with a request that I want to cry. (I hope I keep at the job). Please fucking pray for me.

Did you know I didn’t always used to curse the way I do? Throughout high school, I would only curse when I would get hurt (like for example that time an anvil crushed my toe. Lol. This totally didnt happen. Though, this one time. I cut myself on this chunk of thick glass from a broken lamp at 12 urs old, that I was taking to the dumpster. It sliced my thigh, blood was gushing out I imagine. I started screaming. My mom, uncle, and cousin freaked the fuck out. I obviously lived to tell the tale. Y'all should see the scar.) And then I was influenced by boys (since I only hung out with guys through the last two years of high school) to curse. And now, I can’t seem to stop.

I make weird posts on Whisper. My username is ______ For anyone who wants to chat with me about my crazy life, follow me on ____ at @_______. Lol. (I hope y'all know when I include the blanks I’m being funny).

What other facts to share.. I made a friend on Slowly, but work really got me busy, plus I am always freaking tired. I didn’t respond for nine days with a letter, and I noticed she deactivated her account. It really hurt. Her name was Becca. She was trans, but didn’t tell her crazy conservative family. 19, super sweet. Liked video games and Eminem for a bit. I seriously miss her.

Other facts.. Did I mention (no, of course you didn’t mention Mare. All you ever talk about are failed relationships, current relationships, or almost relationships), I’m looking to learn Italian AND Spanish? Of course! Why the hell wouldn’t I try to influence my American self with my Mexican self? (Totally Hispanic in case y'all cohldn’t guess. My mom says I speak Spanish like a white girl. Well, shit… Time to go to Mexico and get ridiculed for being too white and not knowing Spanish or customs) Joking aside, I’m looking forward to teaching myself Spanish and Italian. (Don’t tell the family, but I prefer Italy over Mexico).

Y'all ready to get to the real reason why y'all stick through my letters?

Nic doesn’t want me to explore my bi side. Ken hasn’t been on Skype for a month. I miss him.. (Great, conflicted Mary is back again). Did I mention that today is my 3rd year anniversary with the Nicholas? Totally is. What did we do to celebrate? I woke up at 5 in the morning, waited for him to show up at 6, and ate tacos in my apartment parking lot. Then, I went to work, and he went home to sleep. We are going to Bastrop for the weekend which is just 20 minutes from my grandparents. Maybe I should go visit. (Why the hell don’t I call my family? Am I really that fucking self absorbed? Family trumps dudes any fucking day..) and I hope the trip is nice. I just texted him like 45 min ago of us drifting apart. Because… he will talk about things that seriously, Charlie, I could give two fucks about, then we will talk about ice cream, for example, and he goes off on a tangent about something little do with ice cream. Sometimes, I feel like I guilty stay with him because I do fucking love him, but I could be holding myself back from experiencing new things.

I want to write more. Bare with me for a moment, Charlie. Okay, I’m back. (That was a second break, in real time in case y'all were wondering)

My thoughts aren’t flowing as well. I wish I knew a friend who was bi or a lesbian who would like to explore with me. And not have it change things.

So, I have a shit sleep schedule. I’ll come home at 5 ish in the evening. I’ll sit in traffic for twenty min. Come home. Eat something. Fall asleep by 7. Wake up at 10, and stay awak indefinitely. Then wake up at 6, and start over. (What is wrong with me?)

Oh. More breaks from relationship shit. I saw a therapist. Three visits. It was nice. His name is Tim. (Had to stop because I literally have no fucking time to see a dr anymore psychologist or medical, because my schedule is a fucking bitch). He graduated from Harvard! That is awesome. His attire was well groomed, always. I never told him he intimidated me because of that. But he was a nice guy. Time to go to psychologytoday.com to look for weekend available therapists who take my insurance. I hope if I am to become a psychologist, that I’m a tiny better than Tim. He was lovely, I was just unnerved by someone focusing such time on me. But, that is kind of what he is paid for? So….

Oh. Have I mentioned at all to you, Charlie about how I want to start a YouTube channel? I want to read stories I find on the internet. Annnd, I’m pretty excited. I get my mic maybe with next weeks paycheck.

I feel like there is more to add. For anyone you may have lost touch with over the years, Charlie, does the thought of that person and the memories you shared together ever make you cry? I found a CD an old friend left to me for my birthday. And it broke my heart that we aren’t close anymore. I feel like I .. let my true relationships go in my worst state of mind.. And, I miss her so much. It really really hurts. I’m crying just thinking about it.

Also, I’m not sure if I mentioned, there are rare cases where I will laugh so hard at something I found to be funny, that I make others worried or uncomfortable. But the laughter turns to sobbing (sobbing such as my mom dying, or my brother getting hit by a car, or someone killing me) just as severe. I tried asking like crazy, and no one seems to know. That is, until a month ago, a friend from the meetings I go to (please tell me I’m not so vapid that I forgot to tell you I go to Monday meetings with DBSA for my depression) showed me what I have.. which I forgot the name of. But it is a treatable condition. Something to do with sensitivity.

I can’t hear well out of my right ear. I need to see a doctor.

Thanks to those who stayed with me this far.

I hope to have more news on my relationship status.

I seriously have like two friends on Tumblr. Why do I use this app again?

I love you, Charlie

Always,

Mary

#dear charlie #Mary

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cybersun-x · 4 years

Text

Get Access Now To Private Instagram Account

Setting private Profile viewer in fact helps to knock out unwanted people from accessing your pics and videos. Privacy is built for greater than before user experience, but it can furthermore be annoying in the matter where you want to view a private Instagram profile. So, here I’ve created a lead just about how to view Private Instagram Profiles and (Instagram Private Profile Viewer, realism or scam!) Instagram is in fact the best platform to PrivateInstaViewer part pictures and videos. This platform gives us fine privacy and security features which are definitely useful to the users. Private Profile is a widely used feature because it stops unwanted people from looking at your pics and videos on Insta.

Instagram Viewer

People are finding a way to spy on Instagram profiles and searching for how to view private Instagram profiles without in the same way as and no survey.spy on private instagram account In fact, many online tools claim that they take effect as Instagram private profile viewer. So, Ill be reviewing such tools and will furthermore instagram viewer behave you the perfect energetic process to view private Instagram profiles without in the same way as them and in the same way as proof. There are many reasons to spy on Instagram profiles. Such as looking what your extinguish is up to, spying on competitors profile and many supplementary reasons in the same way as that. Just follow the actions Ive shown here and youll be practiced to view private Instagram profile without having any problem. Note: Ive just reviewed some online Instagram Private Profile Viewers. I know definitely competently that those tools are just hoax and dont work. But, this little review might be obliging for you to understand that we cant comprehensibly view private Instagram profiles using some online tools. In order to begin my little research, I dependence to locate a most used tool which claims to take effect you private profiles pics etc. So, I comprehensibly visited Google and searched for Instagram Private Profile Viewer. There were large quantity of tools listed in the search results. I clicked on the first result and landed on a website in the same way as this The homepage looks handsome and there was a button saying Click Here To View Private Instagram Account Now, fascinating right! By clicking instagram private profile viewer on that button, I was redirected to a supplementary webpage where username of Insta account needs to be entered.view private instagram profile I comprehensibly entered my own account username. After 4-5 seconds they even asked me to pick whether I want to view the Photos or Profile details. Looks definitely fascinating and it seems that private details will be in stomach of me within a few seconds.how to view private instagram profile From fused options, Photos out of the ordinary was chosen by me. After 10+ seconds, loading stops and WHACK! Nothing appeared on the screen. Even after fused tries, no details were served to me. Disappointing to me and not far off from every the people who had used it. :/view private instagram profile release Now, its definitely certain that this website is take effect and not working. not far off from 4-5 websites were reviewed by me and every of them arent working. Even some sites want users to utter a survey which is definitely full of spam and misleading. quick Note: You shouldnt use Private Instagram Viewer tools or services. The explanation at the back this is simple and its the fact that none of those tools are energetic and wont take effect you the private Instagram Profile Pics and Videos etc. Instead, those are misleading and even full of spammy software etc. end wasting your period and follow the genuine way to view private Instagram profiles. Now lets directly jump into the methods which are in fact useful to view Private Instagram Profiles. As Ive already told you above that tools arent going to encourage you in any way. every of them are misleading and they cant comprehensibly bypass the Instagram security in order to fetch Pictures and Videos from a private Insta account.Hence, you probably dependence a energetic and easiest way. Ive listed by the side of every the way you can use or follow. every of them arent rocket science or something which needs a lot of complex experience.

Those are just simple and systematic actions and furthermore filled in the same way as social engineering. It might sound a little bit strange to most people. But agree to me, its in fact an simple process and theres even no dependence to use your personal details in the same way as Name, E-Mail, Phone etc. Ill lead you through step by step procedure to create an account and little bit social engineering lead to create that person take your follow demand which will be sent by a <b><I>how to see private instagram accounts</b></i> take effect account. Instagram allows users to create an account just by using an E-Mail address. So, its good opportunity for every of us. Just follow the step by step process to view profile of private Instagram account without any tool. We dependence a take effect E-Mail address, I recommend you to use www.temp-mail.org website. Youll be automatically utter a take effect E-Mail in the same way as you visit them for the first period Copy the E-Mail domicile and switch encourage to the Insta Sign-Up form.How To View a Private Instagram Profile We furthermore dependence a take effect username, correspondingly setting release to check the list of funny usernames and pick a fine username from the list. It can see in the same way as a definitely simple task right! But, you nevertheless dependence to be creative though creating a take effect profile. create how to view a private instagram account certain youve to use the relavant account picture. In fact, you should set your account to Private correspondingly that the person wont be practiced to see your uploads etc. until he/she follows you back. Just create your account see genuine and your follow demand will be trendy by that person. Dont use some common pics or misleading username. create it see genuine and after that you can view Instagram private profiles in the same way as ease using your twist Insta account. This can be a little bit annoying and time-consuming. In fact, there are definitely fewer chances that youll succeed in it. Its because at least one of your follower/following account should be in the same way as the account on which you want to spy on. understand it by this example, lets say Im in the same way as an account in the same way as username example_account. Now, in the same way as I visit a profile which is already followed by example_account, but not by me, Ill see a little pronouncement saying Followed By example_account, example_account1 etc. (See The Image by the side of Below)followed by details in the same way as you found such an account, you just dependence to DM that person and question if he/she can encourage you or not. Write a detailed pronouncement on why you want to spy on that account and there are fine acceptable chances that he/she will encourage you in spying.

These are the by yourself methods which will take effect for you. Its because theres no tool or abet which can bypass the Privacy and entry the content of a Private account on Instagram. So, dont waste your period on such hoax and fraud online tools. Instead, use your mind and creativity. Follow the 2 methods which Ive shown. Set up the take effect account expertly and there are definitely high chances that he/she will take follow demand of your account. create a woman account. Its because males take the follow requests of females, and females dont even mind to take the demand from out of the ordinary female. We know this matter definitely well. Both the methods will encourage you to view private Instagram profiles without any trouble. drop by the side of your suggestions in the comment section. part your experience in the same way as every the readers.

#access #private #instagram #account

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yenneeeyyy · 4 years

Note

I think you're hilarious in such a good way and Im new to Tumblr. Your work is amzing and i was wondering if you have any bnha blog recommendations or must read fics?

His Tryanny by goodboysensei (tumblr; @tobobio)

au: fantasy

completed: yis!

My Angel by goodboysensei (tumblr; @tobobio)

au: greek mythology

completed: neh~

I’m Broken Too (Shigaraki x Reader x Dabi) by Kikyo851 (quotev; kikyo851/tumblr; @heroes-among-us-all)

au: canon

summary: “What’s a girl to do when she can’t quite make it as a hero? Become a villain, of course.”

completed: neh~

Million Reasons by Chub_Rye (other socials; not listed)

au: future canon (?)

my thoughts:

completed: neh~

Muted by HecateSG (other socials; not listed)

au: canon

completed: neh~

Nightclub AU by sour_pink29 (tumblr; @heros-amoung-us)

au: well… nightclub

completed: neh~

Plus Ultra! One-shots and Requests by MistressPikachu (FinalVolition) [tumblr; @adelheidvonschicksal]

au: varies

summary: “A place to store all my smaller drabbles for BNHA. NSFW and SFW requests CLOSED!”

completed: neh~

slutty one shots by cherrykwrites (tumblr; @cherrykwrites)

au: varies

completed: neh~

Euphoria - NSFW Series by NekokoaFanfiction (tumblr; @nekokoafanfictions)

au: varies

my thoughts: they are such a good writer. another one-shots book but they will appear once again on the list but this book is just beautiful. and im a perv. so. have fun.

comepleted: neh~

Incendiary ~ a/b/o, “Mating season has come yet again. Bakugou has even more trouble controlling it than in previous years… and it’s all your fault.”

Story Time - A Reader x BNHA Multific by WhenSarahSmiles (tumblr; @makethiscanon)

au: fairytale/storybook/canon-ish

completed: neh~

Wolves Among Us (Mini Series) by NekokoaFanfiction (tumblr; @nekokoafanfictions)

au: fantasy

completed: neh~

Katsuki Bakugo Scenario Collection by Hvalross (tumblr; @cutesuki–bakugou)

au: varies

completed: neh~

Wish the World Away by hoshigalaxy (other socials; not listed)

au: canon

completed: neh :

Up in Smoke. (Soulmate AU) by Grapelimeade (tumblr; @gojirabbit)

au: well,, soulmate

summary: “Bakugou doesn’t want a fucking soulmate.”

completed: neh~

Vermilion by Morgana_Ren (tumblr; @morgana-ren)

au: canon

completed: neh~

words hurt [Bakugo Katsuki x Reader] by QueenExplosionMurder (tumblr; @strawberryandspiceandchocolate)

au: canon

completed: neh~

You and Yamada by Jo_Rutherford_Lee (other socials; not listed)

au: varies

summary: “Just a few short Present Mic/Reader PWPs I needed to get out of my head.”

my thoughts:

completed: yis

Singed Rose Petals: (Alpha) Dabi x (Omega) Reader by Smutsy (other socials; not listed)

au: a/b/o

completed: yis

special mentions:

BNHA Brothel by orphan_account [multiple, unfinished]

Hero Killer’s Charge by VulcanCaptain [stain x reader, unfinished]

Mouth Moods by Koalolive (twitter; renlup) [present mic, unfinished]

and god please dont fucking roast me i had a hawks faze. Birb Office for Birbs by insanityrunsinthe_family

453 notes · View notes

vczkeurqrwfg-blog · 5 years

Text

Easy Ways How To See Private Instagram Working

Set in the works the application later than your gadget and begin it. It resembles the actual Instagram application appropriately you'll be delightful functional subsequently it. Most of the people nowadays look at movies by streaming. find it, bearing in mind was the instagram private profile viewer complete era you went towards the Instagram specialists have invested numerous days in developing a wonderful system to hack private Instagram account. You can furthermore use their proceedings and possess an pleasing grow old upon IG. So, are you ready? Instagrams userbase is rising every month, we reside in the period of social media publicity and Many individuals are sad subsequent to the nonexistence of other functions upon Instagram and they are turning to unofficial and unauthorized approaches as a result as to Learn how to view private Instagram profiles on the web. Belows anything you obsession to know not quite these techniques.

Instagram Viewer

Male accounts can easily be viewed previously the majority of the Adult males dont support privacy settings on their own accounts. later again, viewing female accounts is much tricky. This question has become in the midst of upon the list of hugely searched phrases upon preferred serps later Google and Bing. This may not be the ideal and simplest reply in your mission. But should youre on the lookout For other photos or suggestion virtually your goal, this is entirely a more legitimate means of pretend it in comparison to our next-door Resolution. It is a Software that allows you door to private accounts how to see private instagram upon the net in which you can view, subsequently or comment on any read out you desire out of your focus ons profile. Similarly, Instagram along with permits end users having an other to keep their account Private to ensure that unaccompanied their followers can see their profile. Regardless of this Instagram environment, is there any strategy to see all those private Instagram profiles? They can obtain your individual facts after which you can come up with the money for it to a corporation or receive within the online video views or clicks to the commercials. Not recommended strategy, mainly because it invites to become along with the most unscrupulous means to intrude an individual. However, if the above-stated method doesnt allow you the results you want, you could try out making a feat Instagram profile that may be ascribed consequently as to view private Instagram pictures & posts. Public IG account finest for the two personal ad and non-business use including attaining far-off more social exposure, manufacturer consciousness and followings .If none of these techniques play a role You thenll have no option. The sole other habit is to utilize a hacking app consequently that you can see whats upon the other aspect considering the private account. And later the further side individual incorporates a community account your enthusiast question for might be approved instantly after you click the follow button. But if that individual includes a private account, subsequently the person will get a notification and if he/she is au fait of you or desire to just retrieve more take your demand next forlorn it is feasible to instagram private profile viewer look his posts and all. Listed here it is attainable to send out a concept to him/her by introducing you. Just be factual and authentic.This is taking into account connecting and collaborating in the manner of influencers is a good idea. afterward influencers portion the articles of any user on their own account It is just a kind of certification that will get potential customers willing to help their invites to adhere to back again.

My View Definition

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Conclusion

youtube

For this It's important to head beyond to Instagram profile viewer apps and go ahead as per the guidance and there you're going to acquire the images of private account. Developing a bogus profile isnt difficult, just time-consuming, you have to be clear to put taking place some genuine-on the lookout pics, dont allow in your actual aspects and buy some supplementary people to follow you before you rule to make an effort to abide by your focus on. Watch out though, you will discover websites that present you a method to view private Instagram accounts but chat to you to supply your password, And correspondingly the profile that is no question susceptible is yours and never the on the list of consumer you ought to accessibility. Hardly ever present your password to any person. In that site, You habit to copy paste the username in the Instagram account you how to see private instagram accounts desire to view. rudely after fake this, You must establish In deed the account you desire to view is legitimate and alive. In the event that it is not genuine or alive, you will end stirring indispensable to mark the aspiration account soon after which you'll be skilled to view the private posts.

0 notes

hgfstreamchats · 6 years

Text

Dark Skies

thenightetc Hello! Me Hello there! thenightetc If a "Zarla" knocks on the stream door, she's a friend of mine I told about the stream Me Got it. Bunny1532651036604 Hello! Me Hello there! ThebesAce Ah, there we go, didn't have username set thenightetc Spider! 😀

ThebesAce spide~ thenightetc BIG FLUFFY girl Me Poke. thenightetc omg Me A troublemaker. Bunny1532651492398 Yo thenightetc Hi! ThebesAce hallo! Bunny1532651492398 wow. i do not like this lol thenightetc Awwwww ThebesAce well then you came just as it ended. thenightetc So! what are we in for with this one? thenightetc So! what are we in for with this one? Me Something we can all agree is terrifying. Jalaperilo ill only be here for a bit. still not 100% and also, not the biggest horror fan thenightetc Ohhh boy Me It's the quality of our shared horror experience that counts, not the quantity. thenightetc Very true. Me It's a good one if you don't care for horror. Short on gore, high on aliens. Jalaperilo i like old horror. From beyond, braindead. alien horror seems cool Me Never seen either of those! Are they good? thenightetc ...Is he watching porn ThebesAce yep Jalaperilo yes! Braindead is an early Peter Jackson film and From beyond is from the same director that did reanimator (and has a few recourring characters) thenightetc *relieved that the "schoolgirl" appears to be at least 30* Me Oooh! ThebesAce oh man, I remember Braindead! That movie gets so gross Jalaperilo ikr? so fun ThebesAce especially the bits with the priest Jalaperilo but i do think if you've never see them, watch reanimator and from beyond Me I do like Reanimator. thenightetc I've never seen it 😮 Jalaperilo people injecting bright green liquid and sending them crazy? lots of practice with that huh? Me Naturally! ThebesAce oh, Knockout, I have a wiki page for purposes of future so-bad-it's-hilarious movie nights Me Do tell! ThebesAce https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Category:Syfy_original_films a complete list of Syfy Original movies thenightetc Well, that can't be good ThebesAce well, not 100% complete, but enough for entertainment Me Beautiful! thenightetc Well, that's productive Me That'll help something. thenightetc ...What. ThebesAce This is a thing that is happening thenightetc I'm unsettled Jalaperilo wasnt this a thing in ppoltergeist? the chairs being put on the table thenightetc At this point it's definitely beyond what a raccoon or something could accomplish Me At any rate, time to switch planets. Jalaperilo I WISH I COULD GO LIVE ON ANOTHER PLANET sorry, didnt means caps Me It was a sentiment worth yelling. Jalaperilo she drank can we just watch the sharks? thenightetc his terrible edifice of lies ThebesAce "I didn't lie. If I lied, I'd be the asshole here. So I didn't lie." SOUNDS LEGIT thenightetc Ha! Jalaperilo "i didnt lie" i said,you know, like a lier Me Hah! thenightetc Right? Jalaperilo this is more terrifying than anything else, an alarm going off in the middle of the night. happens to me too many times thenightetc Ohhhh dear Now go check the kitchen. ...Okay! That's fucked up Jalaperilo 'cause its the one thing you cant replace' lots of john mulaney shit happening lol ThebesAce HA Me Plot twist: John Mulaney was behind all of this. Jalaperilo ha! Jalaperilo i hate kids in horror. even if theyre not at fault, theyre al so creepy thenightetc So he's wrecking his kid's room because of a dream. Jalaperilo i hate this man thenightetc Yeah. ThebesAce I detect an arrogant asshat who makes everything about himself Jalaperilo lets see how he handles this thenightetc uh Me That's how I react whenever something leaks on my anatomy. Jalaperilo even breakdown? Me Especially Breakdown. thenightetc Poor bird. hey what the fuck! Maybe just LET the bank foreclose Jalaperilo i dont understand whats going on. like what is the bad things power? Me Childish pranks and an impassioned hatred of birds. ThebesAce birds are pretty easy to hate Jalaperilo maybe theyve seen birdemic Me Maybe let the bank take the boy, too. thenightetc What did he say? I couldn't quite hear The kid, I mean Jalaperilo he said im a creepy ass boy Me "Then I wasn't me anymore." thenightetc ...Ohhh Jalaperilo big mood thenightetc I keep expecting jumpscares Jalaperilo does no one turn the lights on? thenightetc ...HE didn't trigger the alarm when he went out ThebesAce We are officially in 'get him to an institution' territory. thenightetc So he definitely has some kind of implant or something, huh Or something laid eggs in his skin Jalaperilo or a slight allergy o his new shampoo thenightetc *facepalm* Me No, don't reward him for that! Jalaperilo fucking cliche as shit 'if a boy is mean he just likes you' fuck off and get in the sea ThebesAce right? thenightetc dude not the time Me "Let's do it while the aliens are watching." Jalaperilo sorry thebes, i keep reading your name as The besace as if it rhymes with vesace lol ThebesAce pfff well go ahead if it amuses you~ Jalaperilo that is my internal nick name for you now, thenightetc Of course they can fuck up cameras. Me In the most artistically haunting way possible, of course. thenightetc ...Kinda looks like they were going to each room in turn, too oh no Me I like how they just let her do that. Jalaperilo someone didnt wash her makeup off thenightetc Jesus Jalaperilo oh shit, it was real Me "Search" thenightetc Heh. "chosen" ThebesAce The graaays We got the Vok, but you got the grays. Jalaperilo how come most of the aliens out there are wither chill or war like, but the grays are the only creepy ass ones? ThebesAce oh, that's easy. They're trying decide between the two. thenightetc "thank god because I just lost mine" ThebesAce nothin' creepier than an unknown thenightetc oh jeez hope neither of them gets possessed during-- Me Or alternatively, both of them get possessed during and it qualifies as an orgy. thenightetc lights, get the lights ThebesAce I've read more than one story that works on that logic. Just now you'd throw in the grays thenightetc goddamn uh FUCK Me That's the only part of this movie that gets me. Jalaperilo turn on the goddamn lights!!! ThebesAce oh my god that's not how that works Jalaperilo well, im gonna go try to sleep, but its still 22 degrees C here with 76% humidity so i dunno how well ill sleep thenightetc yikes... good luck ThebesAce good luck with that friend! Me Good luck! Have a gray-free sleep! Jalaperilo i will tell you, today it rained for the first time in 55 days here asnd even then it was only 5 minutes so yeah. bad times in SE England if the grays have AC, ill let them take me ThebesAce yargh--I lived in London for a while, sounds like a nightmare thenightetc *shudder* Jalaperilo night! ThebesAce night! thenightetc "hey jackass, you got out of bed , walked out into the yard, and started leaking blood without knowing anything about it" Uh Jesus ThebesAce the straights are at it again thenightetc I THINK the orange tip means it's a fake gun But I'm not ENTIRELY sure Me There's a mood. thenightetc ...jesus really, why WOULDN'T he think they did it ...did she just start crying blood? thenightetc oh god oh no FUCK ThebesAce WELL THEN PHOTOGRAPHIC EVIDENCE Me And only three. No more, no less. thenightetc Three shall be the number of aliens,a nd the number of the aliens shall be three ThebesAce This is so weird watching this outdated science considering we just elected our first lizardman president. Me Hah! thenightetc Taking ol' Lincoln out of his chair Me Taking him on a joyride around the galaxy, snapping pictures on alien planets. Me Not very well, clearly. thenightetc he says that like he's *shudder8 thenightetc ...So... does he have any tips on "fighting", or...? ThebesAce BET THE GRAYS GOT TO HIS FRIENDS thenightetc Well, if they're lucky, they might "move on" to their friends.... "give him my eyes" Me Give him a few organs you don't need. thenightetc ...they've kind of... already shown they can get anywhere in the house Me "Don't split up." "Let's do exactly that!" thenightetc FUCK NOPE ThebesAce DON'T SPLIT THE PARTY thenightetc oh god oh god ThebesAce welllllll hell thenightetc ah. So Sammy wasn' tthe first one they contacted. Me Surprise! thenightetc and it just leaves it there!!! Me That it does! ThebesAce well then. That... went wrong for everyone involved to say the least Me Literally nothing went right. thenightetc don't like that, no sir yeah I noticed the Apple product placement there not the long list of others though Me Well, there we are! thenightetc Could we... watch something a little lighter to top it off? Little mood whiplash? Me Absolutely! Any requests? thenightetc Nothing I can think of thenightetc Ahhhh, 900 numbers targetting kids! Me This is what you get when you leave my to my own devices. thenightetc Of course, now we have pay-to-win phone games thenightetc I wonder what happened if you called the number ThebesAce Could be worse. Could be the Wow Wow Wibble Woggle Wazzie Woodle Woo Me You become the next Freddy Freaker. thenightetc Scary! "Vines that butter my croissant" *squints* Ooooo! Ooooo! ThebesAce this reminds me, I gotta snag me the new Jurassic Park game. It lets you let giant carnivores loose wherever the hell you want thenightetc Oh gosh I saw the most amazing Planet Coaster LP, but it's way too long (Over an hour, at least) Me Link? Maybe we'll watch it one of these nights! thenightetc Let me see if I can find it again... I'm sure I can, just gimme a minute thenightetc ...I come back and everything's on fire! thenightetc Alright, so, it's more like eight hours total, but anyway here's part 1 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QstYje84DaM for your amusement thenightetc So it's uh more of a slow burn Oh wow Me I'm intrigued! thenightetc PFFFF thenightetc I looked it up and that kind of thing isn't really enforceable ThebesAce I recognized that cartoon thing. That was the Land Before Time ripoff they show when they can't get the rights for Land Before Time thenightetc HA Me It's delightfully horrifying. Me I think that's a good place to close for tonight! ThebesAce agreed, thanks for having us! thenightetc Yes And thank you! Wait Could you... hover over that third one The "top 100" thing Aha Thanks, I just wanted to see what that was Me Not a problem! Thank you all for coming, as always! thenightetc I didn't know GTA had a bulldozer thing to shove people off a board Me I didn't either until exactly this second. ThebesAce no, no, that's just to emphasize the fail it's GTA V compilation they do not have those graphics thenightetc I mean, ThebesAce whoop, got you might have been joking, my brain skipped there thenightetc I kind of want to know where they got that art though Anyway! Goodnight, and thanks again. ThebesAce good night! Thanks! Me Good night!

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vcaeexuswala-blog · 5 years

Text

Know Private Instagram Viewer App Perfect

Now, way in occurring going on Google Illustrations or photos or the graphic-dependent internet search engine of one's substitute and glue the identify of your respective focused individual into the research box. What well be executing below is easy: somewhere online, theres a fantastic probability that the individual youre in search of has yet left an passage of photos just before activating their privacy sponsorship how to see private instagram upon Instagram. Now click upon the profile image of that private account and look take up to couple of seconds to get portray abundantly loaded relying upon your Online speed. Privateviewerig is undoubtedly an app that may let you see a private Instagram account without the dependence to attain in the manner of them whatsoever. You dont should send a consent subsequent to question for additionally be authorised whatsoever.

How To View Private Instagram

youtube

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Get This Introduction

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Final Words

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hxzcuagdeogs-blog · 5 years

Text

Get Now View Private Instagram Without Human Verification Latest

Now, entry taking place taking place Google Illustrations or photos or the graphic-dependent internet search engine of one's unconventional and paste the identify of your respective focused individual into the research box. What well be executing under is easy: somewhere online, theres a astounding probability that the individual youre in search of has still left an alleyway of photos just in the past activating their privacy support how to view private instagram upon Instagram. Now click on the profile image of that private account and look lecture to to couple of seconds to get picture adequately loaded relying upon your Online speed. Privateviewerig is undoubtedly an app that may allow you look a private Instagram account without the infatuation to comply next them whatsoever. You dont should send a ascend similar to question for additionally be authorised whatsoever.

How To View Private Instagram

youtube

Develop a behave Instagram profile, displaying a womans photo. Why feminine? If you want to look at a feminine private instagram account then one of the best ways is to make a bogus instagram account of a lady. In the concern youre in search of unethicalAnd perhaps illegaltips upon how to view a private Instagram account, you'll be practiced to always go the route of creating a phony profile and seeking to fool the consumer into bearing in mind you. We dont advise this, previously its A significant breach of trust how to view private instagram like the opposite person, and phony accounts can typically easily be spotted past searching written content. Youd be asked to enter the Instagram username of the individual whose private profile youd afterward to view. In warfare youre prepared to have the funds for them past a check out, accomplish that at your personal danger. We complete not sanction any of those applications. As youre inside Instagrams options menu, youll look a long listing of alternatives. You'll be clever to amass your Fb close connections as with ease as your contacts, invite Facebook near connections not but upon Instagram, and view your account settings. Its in this article in which youll discover selections for two-issue authentication, the inadvertent to disguise your Instagram Tale, and block people. But earlier mentioned all, The main another Here's Private Account, which youll find at the bottom of your account options choices on this site, just in the past the acknowledged options menu starts. This might seem counterintuitive for those searching for an much easier method to view private profiles, but bordering that account 1st prior to sending an invite to adhere to once again really features a lot of help in excess of exasperating to view the profile by brute pressure past the app which actually gainedt work. eight interpretation on View Private Instagram Jason December seventeen, 2018 get more info I in reality love thisnpage it seriously assisted me attain some clues powering amid my greatest links associations he how to see private instagram complete that He's wasting his grow old and additional people compulsion to put up with that this app is often . General public IG account most energetic for equally industrial and non-commercial use as soon as attainment supplementary social exposure, brand greeting and followings. For those who observe them upon Facebook or Twitter and they allocation their Instagram publications there, you could potentially see them by these additional social networks (you could possibly edit the posts their share, but not their Instagram profile, consequently make a purchase of supplied by this technique is going to be limited to what this human being is ready to part outdoors Instagram)

My View Starting Points

Now that you know the artifice to view private Instagram profiles gone out pursuing, You should use the Software and have an excellent time in viewing every of that is shared by private in auxiliary to general public IG accounts. Usually recall; though utilizing the hacking Software, you don't have to remark or part any from the posts produced by private accounts or else you'll acquire caught and your individual Instagram account might get banned endlessly. Now, contact up occurring Google Illustrations or photos or most likely the impression-centered internet search engine of the out of the ordinary and glue the identify of your respective focused individual into the research box. What well be carrying out here is straightforward: someplace upon the internet, theres a good prospect that the person youre looking for has remaining an alleyway of pictures before activating their privateness safety upon Instagram. Thank you Root how to view private instagram credit staff for giving me the best information just about the best mannerism to begin to see the private Insta account. on the flip side, when you've got prearranged to keep your IG account as instinctive a private a single, next no person supplementary than your all the rage partners can view everything you share. For those who would pick to adjudicate someones profile without having adhering to, it might sound gone an impossible job. Nevertheless, there are several infamous however easy strategies which you can receive advantage of to view an individuals private profile posts without having adhering to that particular person. Sarahah application is categorically fashionable in 2018. Are you au fait what is the genuine comport yourself of Sarahah application, if you already know it excellent, Should you dont know Dont be concerned? I create distinct you Briefly detail. Sarahah is largely created for rapid feedback to your folks and corporations element. If you desire to learn how to view private instagram or if there is exaggeration to view someone instagram profile later weve bought an ansswer. Listed here we will discuss each and each artifice along afterward you in order that it becomes fast that you should view private instagram profiles account. As I have observed persistently, starting to grant in the same way as a person is usually enough for them to certificate my profile in just a gruff mature of time, Additionally they typically abide by me back And that i could look every of their images. next you're done past each of the configurations and fundamental uploads, drop a aficionado ask for for your Exclusive person and wait in the region of eagerly to the reaction. The computer software is meticulously produced by experts who know the security controls of IG in-and-out. So, you'll be how to see private instagram dexterous to be assured that no-one in the Instagram community will know that you have viewed shots from the private account. The lonesome genuine valid answer to view a private Instagram account profile is by requesting to abide by that person from your real account. in the same way as the private Instagram person grants your ask for to abide by them, youll have a inadvertent to view, like, and adjoin upon their Instagram posts.

Conclusion

how to view private instagram try making a bogus Instagram profile that can be received thus that you could view private Instagram shots & posts. So, you realize have a overwhelm on somebody? Maybe, your initially girlfriend or a well-ventilated perspective that you deserted cant neglect. Even, it could be your in the manner of at the outset sight or an dependence for a buddy. This can be our winner in the intervening time. Its a webAPP that actually works as portion of your Online browser. What You will compulsion to pull off is input the username of the goal, nothing at every else and anticipate the exclusive URL for living thing produced for you personally, click upon it and furthermore youre carried out. You should be clever to use this technique to check out any private Instagram account.

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committothedish · 5 years

Text

ON CARS

I suspect anybody who bore witness to their father’s midlife crisis would struggle to see the seductive draw of cars to men, men to cars. If said crisis coincides with a divorce, all the better. Seeing a late voyage into bachelorhood play out will often, if not always, involve a Nice Car Perhaps a convertible, perhaps something overpriced - the latter being a financially self-destructive dance on the grave of settlements and child support. Less an attempt to attract women, more a kind of horcrux for heartbroken machismo. The nice car is the anti-family, because the nice car might only have two seats. The nice car says “I cant collect the kids unless they’re happy contorting themselves and their school bags to fit in the trunk like hostages”. This isn’t a coincidence Really Nice cars are Mayfair’s municipal furniture - they hum idly on the edges of Dover street, or growl along whichever 20 yard gaps in traffic are possible at noon on Berkeley square (very few) The noise a really nice car makes is the sound its driver’s testosterone wishes it could make. Roland Barthes stated that “cars today are almost the exact equivalent of the great Gothic cathedrals: I mean the supreme creation of an era, conceived with passion by unknown artists, and consumed in image if not in usage by a whole population which appropriates them as a purely magical object” Very little has changed since 1957 - magical objects are still the panacea for those who feel vulnerable in the face of reality. What could protect or distract from one’s insecurities than a really nice car’s “smooth as cake-icing” shell? A vestibule for the fearful-flaneur, a literal vehicle for that niggling sense of redundancy? I use redundancy in an existential sense (the driver?) but also in a practical one: London’s congestion and illogically gridless geography make for snail-pace crawling and accidental wrong turns which retroactively and remotely embarrass the whatever-thousand horsepower of a really nice car. I don’t think Porsche or Lamborghini ever wanted their creations to max out at the speed of a tractor. Having said this, the slow-motion drive by, a stalwart of rap videos and cinematic billboard ads, is your best shot at attracting the envied gaze of onlookers your ego has needed for however many years mediation dragged on. I’m backtracking - my first thoughts about really nice cars came at a fraudulently millennial moment: delving into Joan Rivers’ Getty Image archive. Her with her baby daughter, her and her now-dead husband, her stepping onto a red carpet with tight curls and an even tighter facelift from the dark leather interior of a Rolls Royce. Imagine the retinal contrast of a dark vehicle followed by a paparazzi assault - she deals with it beautifully, as though all she’s ever wanted is to have her pupils dilate at dangerous speed In Los Angeles, one long exercise in parallel parking, any prior awareness of cars and their interiors turn from ergonomic hold-music to The beginnings of taste and opinion What starts as practicality turns into a kind of aromatic connoisseurship: synthetic vs real leather, stale tobacco vs rushed attempts to mask stale tobacco, your marijuana vs a fellow freeway user’s marijuana. An inner foley archive grows as passenger door slams reveal their own unique melodies, seat belt clicks have syllables, talk radio falls prey to a people carrier’s unique acoustics, a window wound down half an inch treads the line between soothing white noise and unbearable breathiness if given a full inch As a passenger keen to nudge a Lyft rating upwards, maintaining passionate dialogue which is both louder than the freeway and directed straight into the driver’s right ear from behind becomes necessity. Topics fit for the car interior: funk music, slavery, government, set design, veganism, heritage, second hand books, your daughter’s Libra traits, ceviche, your daughter’s charcoal sketches, travel sickness, multiple sclerosis, mayonnaise, grief A little like porn, there exist two kinds of car interior online : the high octane professionalised ones and the equivalents of a home video The former is there to sell a kind of masculine prison / haven, or an upholstery service so fantastic it’s almost existential. They’ve taken Roland Barthes’ idea of smoothness and run with it. Go close enough to these images and you start to suspect any reality outside of horsepower and gear changes to be conspiracy Even the artificial countryside / city lights / proverbial open road they’ve squeezed to fit the passenger windows like a parabolic screensaver seems honest about being a total ruse. What good is sunlight when you’ve got an LED constellation at your fingertips? the photo asks The characteristic most unique in these sales-driven interiors is the angle from which the photo is taken - often just below the passenger seat, where their shin ought to be, or from where the wing mirror meets the car body. For an image relying so heavily on human impulse to function, these angles are some of the least human imaginable To see the car interior in this way, you would either need to be taken hostage and hidden under the airbags (and presumably under duress) or have just been hit by the car itself, and plastered across the windscreen. Even then, the panoramic, all-seeing, scope of the picture make it difficult even for 20/20 vision to compete. I’m reminded of apartment ads on lettings webpages where the property is shot to look more spacious and all-encompassing than the floor plan states. Side note: Occasionally they write specious rather than spacious, confirming that even real estate brokers aren’t immune to Freudian slips The latter car interior, the amateur analogue of a home video, is found almost exclusively on motoring forums - the glove compartment of the internet. Usernames have me taking adages like “petrolhead” too literally and feeling concerned Rather than to sell, though this could be the case on a second-hand site, this photo’s grand motive is to brag, to exalt. The photos are barely idol-worthy - mostly aggressive Olympus Coolpix flashes or blurred or washed out crime-scene style evidence potentially taken in a semi-crouch position with the kind of concentration forcing your tongue out We come full circle here, to the divorced dad / paranoid bachelor stereotype, and realise stereotypes aren’t created in vacuums. New upholstery, restoration, hubcaps, hood ornaments, requests for jealousy disguised as pragmatic questions Mechaphilia (sexual or romantic Love of automobiles, helicopters, planes) previously undisclosed before a documentary about ten years ago, showed candid footage of a lonely man both sneaking out into the night to fuck the tailpipe of a vintage VW and crying real grief-stricken tears over a beloved helicopter crashing Like all pathologies and temperaments, love of automobiles is a sliding scale. This was (one can only hope) the cul de sac of car-love extremity However you’ll find motor vehicles with the pronoun “she” attached to them across the board. Romanticism and romance are different, but these amateur car interior photos suggest that it isn’t out of the question for somebody to love their car more than their spouse, to feel safer amongst the gears and leather than in their own home, or to express more pride in a new paint job than in their own kids’ sporting accolades It’s fun to try on testosterone, Preciado-style, rub up against all forms of petrolhead pride, of advertised longing, illusions of affluence or safety, of celebrity indifference, of travelling intimacy or of simply wanting to Go Really Fast without a license to do so

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thefanficmonster · 3 years

Text

Infatuation

Corpse Husband x Reader (Female)

Warnings: Swearing

Genre: FLUFF, RPF (Real Person Fic)

Summary: It’s not a secret that Corpse prefers taking care of his hair himself rather than going to a hair salon to get it trimmed and/or tampered. However, he only has so much knowledge of how to properly do it without having to obliterate his budget. Luckily, his girlfriend comes to his rescue.

Requested by Anon. Hi lovely! Thank you so much for the incredibly fluffy request! I’ve been very pumped to write it and now here it finally is - so sorry it’s taken me so long to complete and post it but I still hope you come across it and give it a read! Love, Vy ❤

“Um, what are you doing?“

I just walked into Corpse’s apartment to find him barricaded in the bathroom, giving himself a hair appointment. We were supposed to have a chill night in watching movies, but it seems to me like those plans will either have to be delayed or canceled, given the chaotic state both Corpse and his bathroom are in. I mean, how dumb was I to expect he was actually doing his hair justice when he told me he styled it himself? Why didn’t that immediately raise an army of red flags in my head and lead me to question his methods?

I’m honestly quite jealous of Corpse’s hair. It’s always so soft and silky and no matter how much or how little effort he’s put in it, it always looks good: either evidently carefully styled or boyishly messy, it leaves me with heart-eyes regardless. But to see him massacre it like this, it makes me wish I could report it as a crime.

“Ain’t obvious?“ He sounds rather frustrated and I feel at least slightly better due to this fact. He deserves to be as frustrated as I am by the sight of the crap he’s doing. “Sorry, you’re gonna have to wait for me for...a little while. I just need to get this under control and, um, clean the mess. Sorry for ruining your night like this, babe. I-I really wasn’t planning on it to take this long but I forgot to buy one of the products and I thought I could wing it without it but...I very clearly can’t so...“

“Please, stop talking. I don’t need to know what sins you’ve committed - if I do I’ll probably have to give you the silent treatment for like a week or so.“ I call out to him as I quickly skip over to the kitchen to leave the food I bought on my way over before returning to the bathroom and carefully taking a step inside, mindful of where there are hair strands on the tiles. Even severed, his hair is beautiful and I have a ton of respect for it - ok fine, I adore it. Corpse definitely doesn’t appreciate it properly. I walk over to the shower, reaching out to the two shelves inside which are lined with different types of hair products. “Oh fuck...“ I let out the whisper without even realizing it because I’m so stunned by the brands I see on those shelves. “Corpse, um, what the actual fuck?”

He turns to me, eyes wide and terrified because of my menacing tone. “What? What is it?” His gaze searches the spot where mine was just pointed at, looking for anything that could’ve provoked such a reaction from me. Seeing nothing but the hair products, he meets my deadly glare yet again, “What’s wrong?”

Alright, this man-child needs some serious help

“I’ll tell you what’s wrong.“ I say, stomping towards the exit of the bathroom, “You’re gonna stay here and wait for me to come back and don’t you DARE, even touch your hair, let alone bring a pair of scissors or any chemical near it. Copy?“

“Copied and pasted, ma’am.“ He salutes me, knowing better than to ask questions when I enter my commander role. There are quite a few things that set me off into this bossy-ass persona, and hair mistreatment is most definitely one of them. Thing is, Corpse doesn’t know that. Well, he didn’t know that, pretty sure he’s guessed it by now.

Feeling myself soften at his obedience and trust, I give him a smile and a wink over my shoulder as I go to grab my bag and leave the apartment to complete my mission, “Good boy.”

* * *

“Isn’t that a lot better?“ I ask, gently running my fingers through Corpse’s freshly cut, washed and dried hair. I’ve spent a good five minutes just smoothing through it with my fingers. I bet he’s expecting me to say ‘my precious‘ at any moment now, and trust me it’s tempting, but I still don’t, I won’t give him the pleasure of predicting my actions. Wow, we’ve really reached that level of being familiar with one another that I predict that he’s predicting what I’m gonna do next. While I’m a guessing game for him, I tend to think of myself as more of an open book. You just gotta be fluent in the language it’s written in to understand it.

I’ve gone off-topic, my bad.

“Yeah, you’re a lot less scary now.“ He tells me, his hand finding mine in his hair and taking it to his lips to place a kiss on my knuckles.

We’re positioned so that we’re in front of the bathroom mirror with Corpse seated in a chair in front of me and I’m for once in my life towering over him from behind. Our height difference was threatening to be a hinderance in my work on his hair, but we easily figured it out.

I can’t help but laugh, “You know what I meant.“ I curl one of his already curly strands around the pointer finger of the hand that’s still wandering around the soft dark curls while the other remains in his gentle hold, resting on his shoulder.

“And you know what I meant.“ He shifts in his seat to look at me directly, not via the mirror, “Since when do you have a hair infatuation?“

I roll my eyes and retract my hands, defensively folding my arms over my chest, “It’s not an infatuation with hair, dummy. It’s an infatuation with your hair.” I correct him, doing quick work of styling the stray strands that fall over his forehead and eyes. “I really like your hair, you already know that. I can’t handle the thought you’re doing such a shitty job taking care of it.”

He shrugs, furrowing his brows, “Hey, I was buying top-shelf products, cost me a fortune every month, my hair was being treated like royalty.”

I roll my eyes once again, “High price doesn’t always equal high quality, Corpse. Did you ever stop to read what was in those products?” I don’t let him answer, I don’t need him to confirm what I already know. “Even if you did - which you didn’t - you wouldn’t know what each of those ingredients do to your hair. You see, taking care of hair, especially hair like yours, takes patience and knowledge. It’s practically an art form. It’s not like you can just buy any product that has ‘suitable for curly hair’ on it. There’s a lot more to that.”

It’s only after I finish my monologue that I realize he’s looking at me with amazed amusement in his gaze, almost like a parent listening to their kid talk about their wish of becoming an astronaut. “Since when do you know so much about hair? You’ve been using the same shampoo and conditioner since I know you and now you wanna lecture me on hair care?”

I raise an eyebrow at him, exasperated by his stubbornness on the matter, “Who said being consistent with your hair products is a bad thing? You know, frequent changing of brands has the potential of being damaging as much as aiding.” I explain with the most amount of patience I can muster, now taking over the parent role myself, “And as for your previous question, I know so much because my mother is a hairdresser.”

His eyes widen in surprise. I can practically see the gears in his brain turning as he tries to recall if I’ve ever told him this before.

“How come I don’t know that?“ He asks finally after a long moment of silence. “Why haven’t you told me?”

“You ask that as though I just tell you things like that on the regular. Did you also want me to drop the info that my dad’s a mechanic in passing conversation about video games? Cause that’s a little hard to shoehorn in....“ He cuts off my sarcastic rambling with a brief peck to the lips. He’s the only person allowed to shut me up, and only like that. Anything else will earn him either an earful or a silent treatment.

Just kidding....unless...

“So, does that mean you’re continuing the family business?“ he asks when he pulls away, “I mean, you’re technically my personal hairdresser now.“

I furrow my brows playfully, “Wait, what? Since when?”

“Since I hired you approximately an hour ago.“ He beams up at me, satisfied that I’ve fallen in his trap.

“And what about my payment?“ I ask, narrowing my eyes at him.

He looks to be contemplating for a second before he stands up from the chair, taking my hand in his leading me out of the bathroom, “Well, each appointment you’ll give me a different price, Miss Y/L/N. But, considering today was your first day, I choose to pay you with dinner.“ He sends a wink my way, laughing when he’s met with an unamused expression on my part as I stop in my tracks, causing him to halt his movements as well.

“You really plan on paying me with the dinner I bought?“ I raise an eyebrow at him, freeing my hand from his so I can put both my hands on my hips for the complete 'I’m far from impressed’ look.

“Yeah...? Problem?“ He asks, faking nervousness and guilt as he closes the distance between us, once again returning to the default of towering over me instead of it being the other way around.

“Several actually. First of all...“ I raise my finger in the air accusingly, ready to go off but the arm that wraps around my waist and lifts me off the ground causes my words to die down, evaporating in a frightened squeal, “Corpse no!! Put me down!“

Of course, he ignores me, carrying me into the living room while I don’t know whether to thrash or stay as still as possible.

Tsk, so much for gratitude

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