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secretgamergirl · 10 months

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How a Computer Works - Part 1 (Components)

I am about to teach you on a real fundamental, connecting up electronic components level, how a computer actually works. Before I get into the meat of this though (you can just skip down below the fold if you don't care), here's the reasons I'm sitting doing so in this format:

Like a decade or two ago, companies Facebook pushed this whole "pivot to video" idea on the whole internet with some completely faked data, convincing everyone that everything had to be a video, and we need to start pushing back against that. Especially for stuff like complex explanations of things or instructions, it's much more efficient to just explain things clearly in text, maybe with some visual aids, so people can easily search, scan, and skip around between sections. It's also a hell of a lot easier to host things long term, and you can even print out a text based explainer and not need a computer to read it, keep it on a desk, highlight it, etc.

People are so clueless about how computers actually work that they start really thinking like it's all magical. Even programmers. Aside from how proper knowledge lets you get more out of them, this leads to people spouting off total nonsense about "teaching sand to think" or "everything is just 1s and 0s" or "this 'AI' a con artist who was trying to sell me NFTs a month ago probably really is an amazing creative thinking machine that can do everything he says!"

We used to have this cultural value going where it was expected that if you owned something and used it day to day, you'd have enough basic knowledge of how it worked that if it stopped working you could open it up, see what was wrong, and maybe fix it on your own, or maybe even put one together again from scratch, and that's obviously worth bringing back.

I'm personally working on a totally bonkers DIY project and I'd like to hype up like-minded people for when it gets farther along.

So all that said, have a standard reminder that I am completely reliant on Patreon donations to survive, keep updating this blog, and ideally start getting some PCBs and chips and a nice oscilloscope to get that mystery project off the ground.

Electricity probably doesn't work like how you were taught (and my explanation shouldn't be trusted too far either).

I remember, growing up, hearing all sorts of things about electricity having this sort of magical ability to always find the shortest possible path to where it needs to get, flowing like water, and a bunch of other things that are kind of useful for explaining how a Faraday cage or a lightning rod works, and not conflicting with how simple electronics will have a battery and then a single line of wire going through like a switch and a light bulb or whatever back to the other end of the battery.

If you had this idea drilled into your head hard enough, you might end up thinking that if we have a wire hooked to the negative end of a battery stretching off to the east, and another wire stretching off to the east from the positive end, and we bridge between the two in several places with an LED or something soldered to both ends, only the westernmost one is going to light up, because hey, the shortest path is the one that turns off as quickly as possible to connect to the other side, right? Well turns out no, all three are going to light up, because that "shortest path" thing is a total misunderstanding.

Here's how it actually works, roughly. If you took basic high school chemistry, you learned about how the periodic table is set up, right? A given atom, normally, has whatever number of protons in the core, and the same number of electrons, whipping all over around it, being attracted to those protons but repelled by each other, and there's particular counts of electrons which are super chill with that arrangement so we put those elements in the same column as each other, and then as you count up from those, you get the elements between those either have some electrons that don't fit all tight packed in the tight orbit and just kinda hang out all wide and lonely and "want to" buddy up with another atom that has more room, up to the half full column that can kinda go either way, then as we approach the next happy number they "want to" have a little more company to get right to that cozy tight packed number, and when you have "extra" electrons and "missing" electrons other atoms kinda cozy up and share so they hit those good noble gas counts.

I'm sure real experts want to scream at me for both that and this, but this is basically how electricity works. You have a big pile of something at the "positive" end that's "missing electrons" (for the above reason or maybe actually ionized so they really aren't there), and a "negative" end that's got spares. Then you make wires out of stuff from those middle of the road elements that have awkward electron counts and don't mind buddying up (and also high melting points and some other handy qualities) and you hook those in there. And the electron clouds on all the atoms in the wire get kinda pulled towards the positive side because there's more room over there, but if they full on leave their nucleus needs more electron pals, so yeah neighbors get pulled over, and the whole wire connected to the positive bit ends up with a positive charge to it, and the whole wire on the negative bit is negatively charged, and so yeah, anywhere you bridge the gap between the two, the electrons are pretty stoked about balancing out these two big awkward compromises and they'll start conga lining over to balance things out, and while they're at it they'll light up lights or shake speakers or spin motors or activate electromagnets or whatever other rad things you've worked out how to make happen with a live electric current.

Insulators, Resistors, Waves, and Capacitors

Oh and we typically surround these wires made of things that are super happy about sharing electrons around with materials that are very much "I'm good, thanks," but this isn't an all or nothing system and there's stuff you can connect between the positive and negative ends of things that still pass the current along, but only so much so fast. We use those to make resistors, and those are handy because sometimes you don't want to put all the juice you have through something because it would damage it, and having a resistor anywhere along a path you're putting current through puts a cap on that flow, and also sometimes you might want a wire connected to positive or negative with a really strong resistor so it'll have SOME sort of default charge, but if we get a free(r) flowing connection attached to that wire somewhere else that opens sometimes, screw that little trickle going one way, we're leaning everyone the other way for now.

The other thing with electricity is is that the flow here isn't a basic yes/no thing. How enthusiastically those electrons are getting pulled depends on the difference in charge at the positive and negative ends, and also if you're running super long wires then even if they conduct real good, having all that space to spread along is going to kinda slow things to a trickle, AND the whole thing is kinda going to have some inherent bounciness to it both because we're dealing with electrons whipping and spinning all over and because, since it's a property that's actually useful for a lot of things we do with electricity, the power coming out of the wall has this intentional wobbly nature because we've actually got this ridiculous spinny thing going on that's constantly flip flopping which prong of the socket is positive and which is negative and point is we get these sine waves of strength by default, and they kinda flop over if we're going really far.

Of course there's also a lot of times when you really want to not have your current flow flickering on and off all the time, but hey fortunately one of the first neat little electronic components we ever worked out are capacitors... and look, I'm going to be straight with you. I don't really get capacitors, but the basic idea is you've got two wires that go to big wide plates, and between those you have something that doesn't conduct the electricity normally, but they're so close the electromagnetic fields are like vibing, and then if you disconnect them from the flow they were almost conducting and/or they get charged to their limit, they just can't deal with being so charged up and they'll bridge their own gap and let it out. So basically you give them electricity to hold onto for a bit then pass along, and various sizes of them are super handy if you want to have a delay between throwing a switch and having things start doing their thing, or keeping stuff going after you break a connection, or you make a little branching path where one branch connects all regular and the other goes through a capacitor, and the electricity which is coming in in little pulses effectively comes out as a relatively steady stream because every time it'd cut out the capacity lets its charge go.

We don't just have switches, we have potentiometers.

OK, so... all of the above is just sort of about having a current and maybe worrying about how strong it is, but other than explaining how you can just kinda have main power rails running all over, and just hook stuff across them all willy-nilly rather than being forced to put everything in one big line, but still, all you can do with that is turn the whole thing on and off by breaking the circuit. Incidentally, switches, buttons, keys, and anything else you use to control the behavior of any electronic device really are just physically touching loose wires together or pulling them apart... well wait no, not all, this is a good bit to know.

None of this is actually pass/fail, really, there's wave amplitudes and how big a difference we have between the all. So when you have like, a volume knob, that's a potentiometer, which is a simple little thing where you've got your wire, it's going through a resistor, and then we have another wire we're scraping back and forth along the resistor, using a knob, usually, and the idea is the current only has to go through X percent of the resistor to get to the wire you're moving, which proportionately reduces the resistance. So you have like a 20 volt current, you've got a resistor that'll drop that down to 5 or so, but then you move this other wire down along and you've got this whole dynamic range and you can fine tune it to 15 or 10 or whatever coming down that wire. And what's nice about this again, what's actually coming down the wire is this wobbily wave of current, it's not really just "on" or "off, and as you add resistance, the wobble stays the same, it's just the peaks and valleys get closer to being just flat. Which is great if you're making, say, a knob to control volume, or brightness, or anything you want variable intensity in really.

Hey hey, it's a relay!

Again, a lot of the earliest stuff people did with electronics was really dependent on that analog wobbly waveform angle. Particularly for reproducing sound, and particularly the signals of a telegraph. Those had to travel down wires for absurd distances, and as previously stated, when you do that the signal is going to eventually decay to nothing. But then someone came up with this really basic idea where every so often along those super long wires, you set something up that takes the old signal and uses it to start a new one. They called them relays, because you know, it's like a relay race.

If you know how an electromagnet works (something about the field generated when you coil a bunch of copper wire around an iron core and run an electric current through it), a relay is super simple. You've got an electromagnet in the first circuit you're running, presumably right by where it's going to hit the big charged endpoint, and that magnetically pulls a tab of metal that's acting as a switch on a new circuit. As long as you've got enough juice left to activate the magnet, you slam that switch and voom you've got all the voltage you can generate on the new line.

Relays don't get used too much in other stuff, being unpopular at the time for not being all analog and wobbily (slamming that switch back and forth IS going to be a very binary on or off sorta thing), and they make this loud clacking noise that's actually just super cool to hear in devices that do use them (pinball machines are one of the main surviving use cases I believe) but could be annoying in some cases. What's also neat is that they're a logical AND gate. That is, if you have current flowing into the magnet, AND you have current flowing into the new wire up to the switch, you have it flowing out through the far side of the switch, but if either of those isn't true, nothing happens. Logic gates, to get ahead of myself a bit, are kinda the whole thing with computers, but we still need the rest of them. So for these purposes, relays re only neat if it's the most power and space efficient AND gate you have access to.

Oh and come to think of it, there's no reason we need to have that magnet closing the circuit when it's doing its thing. We could have it closed by default and yank it open by the magnet. Hey, now we're inverting whatever we're getting on the first wire! Neat!

Relay computers clack too loud! Gimme vacuum tubes!

So... let's take a look at the other main thing people used electricity for before coming up with the whole computer thing, our old friend the light bulb! Now I already touched a bit on the whole wacky alternating current thing, and I think this is actually one of the cases that eventually lead to it being adopted so widely, but the earliest light bulbs tended to just use normal direct current, where again, you've got the positive end and the negative end, and we just take a little filament of whatever we have handy that glows when you run enough of a current through it, and we put that in a big glass bulb and pump out all the air we can, because if we don't, the oxygen in there is probably going to change that from glowing a bit to straight up catching on fire and burning immediately.

But, we have a new weird little problem, because of the physics behind that glowing. Making something hot, on a molecular level, is just kinda adding energy to the system so everything jitters around more violently, and if you get something hot enough that it glows, you're getting it all twitchy enough for tinier particles to just fly the hell off it. Specifically photons, that's the light bit, but also hey, remember, electrons are just kinda free moving and whipping all over looking for their naked proton pals... and hey, inside this big glass bulb, we've got that other end of the wire with the more positive charge to it. Why bother wandering up this whole coily filament when we're in a vacuum and there's nothing to get in the way if we just leap straight over that gap? So... they do that, and they're coming in fast and on elliptical approaches and all, so a bunch of electrons overshoot and smack into the glass on the far side, and now one side of every light bulb is getting all gross and burnt from that and turning all brown and we can't have that.

So again, part of the fix is we switched to alternating current so it's at least splitting those wild jumps up to either side, but before that, someone tried to solve this by just... kinda putting a backboard in there. Stick a big metal plate on the end of another wire in the bulb connected to a positive charge, and now OK, all those maverick electrons smack into here and aren't messing up the glass, but also hey, this is a neat little thing. Those electrons are making that hop because they're all hot and bothered. If we're not heating up the plate they're jumping to, and there's no real reason we'd want to, then if we had a negative signal over on that side... nothing would happen. Electrons aren't getting all antsy and jumping back.

So now we have a diode! The name comes because we have two (di-) electrodes (-ode) we care about in the bulb (we're just kind of ignoring the negative one), and it's a one way street for our circuit. That's useful for a lot of stuff, like not having electricity flow backwards through complex systems and mess things up, converting AC to DC (when it flips, current won't flow through the diode so we lop off the bottom of the wave, and hey, we can do that thing with capacitors to release their current during those cutoffs, and if we're clever we can get a pretty steady high).

More electrodes! More electrodes!

So a bit after someone worked out this whole vacuum tube diode thing, someone went hey, what if it was a triode? So, let's stick another electrode in there, and this one just kinda curves around in the middle, just kinda making a grate or a mesh grid, between our hot always flowing filament and that catch plate we're keeping positively charged when it's doing stuff. Well this works in a neat way. If there's a negative charge on it, it's going to be pushing back on those electrons jumping over, and if there's a positive charge on it, it's going to help pull those electrons over (it's all thin, so they're going to shoot right past it, especially if there's way more of a positive charge over on the plate... and here's the super cool part- This is an analog thing. If we have a relatively big negative charge, it's going to repel everything, if it's a relatively big positive, it's going to pull a ton across, if it's right in the middle, it's like it wasn't even in there, and you can have tiny charges for all the gradients in between.

We don't need a huge charge for any of this though, because we're just helping or hindering the big jump from the high voltage stuff, and huh, weren't we doing this whole weak current controlling a strong current thing before with the relay? We were! And this is doing the same thing! Except now we're doing it all analog style, not slapping switch with a magnet, and we can make those wavy currents peak higher or lower and cool, now we can have phone lines boost over long distances too, and make volume knobs, and all that good stuff.

The relay version of this had that cool trick though where you could flip the output. Can we still flip the output? We sure can, we just need some other toys in the mix. See we keep talking about positive charges and negative charges at the ends of our circuits, but these are relative things. I mentioned way back when how you can use resistors to throttle how much of a current we've got, so you can run two wires to that grid in the triode. One connects to a negative charge and the other positive, with resistors on both those lines, and a switch that can break the connection on the positive end. If the positive is disconnected, we've got a negative charge on the grid, since it's all we've got, but if we connect it, and the resistor to the negative end really limits flow, we're positive in the section the grid's in. And over on the side with the collecting plate, we branch off with another resistor setup so the negative charge on that side is normally the only viable connection for a positive, but when we flip the grid to positive, we're jumping across the gap in the vacuum tube, and that's a big open flow so we'll just take those electrons instead of the ones that have to squeeze through a tight resistor to get there.

That explanation is probably a bit hard to follow because I'm over here trying to explain it based on how the electrons are actually getting pulled around. In the world of electronics everyone decided to just pretend the flow is going the other way because it makes stuff easier to follow. So pretend we have magical positrons that go the other way and if they have nothing better to do they go down the path where we have all the fun stuff further down the circuit lighting lights and all that even though it's a tight squeeze through a resistor, because there's a yucky double negative in the triode and that's worse, but we have the switch rigged up to make that a nice positive go signal to the resistance free promised land with a bonus booster to cut across, so we're just gonna go that way when the grid signal's connected.

Oh and you can make other sorts of logic circuits or double up on them in a single tube if you add more grids and such, which we did for a while, but not really relevant these days.

Cool history lesson but I know there's no relays or vacuum tubes in my computer.

Right, so the above things are how we used to make computers, but they were super bulky, and you'd have to deal with how relays are super loud and kinda slow, and vacuum tubes need a big power draw and get hot. What we use instead of either of those these days are transistors. See after spending a good number of years working out all this circuit flow stuff with vacuum tubes we eventually focused on how the real important thing in all of this is how with the right materials you can make a little juncture where current flows between a positive and negative charge if a third wire going in there is also positively charged, but if it's negatively charged we're pulling over. And turns out there is a WAY more efficient way of doing that if you take a chunk of good ol' middle of the electron road silicon, and just kinda lightly paint the side of it with just the tiniest amount of positive leaning and negative leaning elements on the sides.

Really transistors don't require understanding anything new past the large number of topics already covered here, they're just more compact about it. Positive leaning bit, negative leaning bit, wildcard in the middle, like a vacuum tube. Based on the concepts of pulling electrons around from chemistry, like a circuit in general. The control wire in the middle kinda works in just a pass-fail sort of way, like a relay. They're just really nice compared to the older alternatives because they don't make noise or have moving parts to wear down, you don't have to run enough current through them for metal to start glowing and the whole room to heat up, and you can make them small. Absurdly small. Like... need an electron microscope to see them small.

And of course you can also make an inverter super tiny like that, and a diode (while you're at it you can use special materials or phosphors to make them light emitting, go LEDs!) and resistors can get pretty damn small if you just use less of a more resistant material, capacitors I think have a limit to how tiny you can get, practically, but yeah, you now know enough of the basic fundamentals of how computers work to throw some logic gates together. We've covered how a relay, triode, or transistor function as an AND gate. An OR gate is super easy, you just stick diodes on two wires so you don't have messy backflow then connect them together and lead off there. If you can get your head around wiring up an inverter (AKA NOT), hey, stick one after an AND to get a NAND, or an OR to get a NOR. You can work out XOR and XNOR from there right? Just build 4 NANDs, pass input A into gates 1 and 2, B into 2 and 3, 2's output into 1 and 3, 1 and 3's output into 4 for a XOR, use NORs instead for a XNOR. That's all of them right? So now just build a ton of those and arrange them into a computer. It's all logic and math from there.

Oh right. It's... an absurd amount of logic and math, and I can only fit so many words in a blog post. So we'll have to go all...

CONTINUED IN PART 2!

Meanwhile, again, if you can spare some cash I'd really appreciate it.

#computers #computer science #history #electronics #education #relays #transistors #vacuum tubes

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thesunloveschips · 7 months

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Eye of the Storm - Chapter 6: Awaken. Remember. Live.

Summary: In the wake of Rhysand’s ascension as High Lord, the Bone Carver gifts a prophecy. More than five hundred years later, Azriel continues to wait for the one who is finally reborn as his High Lady’s sister. All it takes a dip in the Cauldron for things to start falling into place.

Chapter Summary: The mortal queens are bitches. Rhysand requests to speak with Nyra. Azriel befriends the twins. The sisters are Made.

Click here to access the Masterlist of the Eye of the Storm

****

The meeting with those godforsaken queens made Nesta feel like stomping all over them. She wanted to strangle, stab and slap them at the same time. They were willing to let innocents die in the name of a necessary sacrifice or some horseshit.

Nesta felt too much anger, too much pain, too much grief at what fate awaited the people here. Their servants did not live that far away and could be called back immediately. But she would not call them. If anyone were to be endangered because she had allowed fae to come to their residence and use it as a venue for the meetings?

In total five fae had visited. Feyre, Rhysand, Azriel, Morrigan and... She did not allow herself to think of the last one. Did not allow herself to think of that one moment of proximity she had shared with him.

Nesta had watched Elain curse the queens to hell. Watched Nyra's gaze turn cold and colder as the queens spout their nonsense. Feyre was drained of hope. And what did she feel? She felt everything and nothing. Nesta knew that Elain would likely ignore those queens if she were to meet them again but Nyra? What would Nyra do? The way she had seen the fury rise was something she had seen only once.

She laid a hand on her twin's shoulder. Nyra looked back, unflinchingly. The twins continued to stare at each other before Nyra closed her eyes and exhaled deeply. The shadows surrounding her skirts gently swam upwards and caressed her hand. Nyra looked at them and opened her palm for them.

"Things have escalated beyond the scope of my family's safety. I expect you to keep your word." Nesta turned to Rhysand. The High Lord of Night simply nodded. He had already arranged for their protection from the moment they first visited.

The shadows were caressing Nyra's hands. Azriel's older shadows were now here and they had immediately joined the newborns but Nyra barely responded. She did not move her fingers in response to their playful touches. That upset the shadows. Azriel continued watching them even as he was engrossed in discussion with Rhysand and Cassian regarding their next course of action.

The twins remained quiet for a few seconds before Elain walked over and sat on the carpet right next to Nesta’s legs and laid her head on her lap. The sisters sat there solemnly, lost in their worlds. Their beauty was painful. One of them, ready to mourn the anticipated losses. One of them, forcing herself to accept everything. And one of them, lost in a world far beyond.

Feyre now felt separated. In appearance and name, she was one of them and yet, she was not. She was now fae and she was once human. For the first time since her rebirth, she despised the immortality that separated her from her sisters.

Through a bond partially unknown to the youngest Archeron, Rhysand felt her. He watched his mate and her sisters.

“Feyre.” At the call of her name, she looked and found her sisters watching her curiously. Nesta had been the one to call her.

“Come. Join us.” Nesta invited. Feyre blinked back a tear. Elain wordlessly extended an arm to her. The fourth sister walked over and took her sister’s arm. She sat down on the floor next to Elain, right in front of Nyra’s legs. She placed her head on her older sister’s lap and felt a hand on her head.

“Is anyone even ready for what is going to happen?” Elain asked. Worry was all over her. In her voice, her expressions, her entire body.

“No.” Nesta’s answer was a reminder of reality.

“They’ll hurt you.” Elain reached a hand out and took Feyre’s hand in her own. Tears pooled in their eyes.

“They’ll kill me.” Feyre answered with the same bluntness she had picked up from Nesta.

“Which is what we want to prevent.” Rhys spoke, unable to hold back from speaking. The sisters felt too hopeless but they did not accept anything. They did not accept the possibility of Feyre being hunted for her power, for the destruction that loomed over the mortal lands, the death that awaited Nyra if she couldn't recover and her illness consumed her completely.

Nothing.

“And if it can’t be prevented?” Nyra finally asked. She looked away from the window and met the High Lord’s gaze. “What of my sisters if this war can’t be prevented?” Nesta sharply turned her head to her twin.

“Your sisters will be protected. As will you. No harm shall befall any of you.”

“Can you promise that?” Nyra challenged, remembering what promises meant to fae.

“I promise all my power, all my resources, to protecting the four of you. Even at the cost of my life.” A tattoo bloomed in the palm of Nyra’s right hand. A small star right where the thumb and index finger met. The shadows played with her hand as she inspected the tattoo.

"I am asking if you can promise my sisters' safety." Rhys had no answer to that. And hope died a quick death. It left behind nothing. And everything felt like it had never even been there. Nyra resumed looking outside the window. Winter was cruel.

"Nyra." Feyre looked up at her sister who was still staring at the world outside the window."We're leaving now." Nyra hummed. She kept patting her sister's head but did not meet her gaze. "I'll come visit whenever I can."

Feyre's last statement was reserved for a future with no war. But if there wasn't any possibility of war, would she have ever visited? The answer was easily no. So why would she deign to visit after the war ends. Would there be anything left here for her to visit? Maybe. Maybe not. The book they sought was now in their possession.

Rhysand adjusted his jacket and swallowed. He brushed off some non-existent lint and walked forward. "I would like to speak to you, Nyra."

The sisters looked up from where they sat. Rhysand's tall figure stood a couple of feet away from them but it did not hover over them.

"Alone." He added. Nyra nodded and patted Feyre's head thrice. Her youngest sister removed her head from her lap and stood up.

Nyra led Rhysand to her father's office. Nesta, Azriel and Cassian followed. Nyra and Rhysand entered the office and closed the door behind them. Azriel and Cassian flanked the sides of the closed door, guarding it from interruptions. Nesta leaned on the wall opposite to the door with her eyes closed and arms crossed.

****

"You wish to speak to me?” Nyra asked. She motioned a hand to the armchair before her as an offer for him to sit. But Rhysand kneeled before her. Nyra blinked once and then asked. “What is this about?”

“I understand that there’s a tradition of speaking to the female’s relatives in the mortal lands.” Rhysand sounded uncharacteristically nervous. And he was. This was the sister Feyre spoke with endless love and tenderness. The sister who had guarded his dear mate’s heart.

“Does it really require you to kneel? I’m sure taking a seat won’t be-"

“I ask for your blessings, as Feyre’s older sister, for when I propose marriage.” Rhys’s interruption had silenced Nyra.

“I wish to walk by her side this life. To love her through all of it. Through happiness and misery. Through riches and poverty. With all my power, blood, body, mind and soul that I am, I wish to be hers, if she’ll have me.”

The High Lord of the Night Court now dipped his head. “I plan to propose to her once she has completely settled in this new life as fae and once I am certain she bears affections for me. If she ever loves me and if we ever have a chance at a union, I hope you can bless it wherever you will be then.”

Nyra knew what that meant when he said wherever she would be. Even if she were no longer alive, he wanted her blessing.

“You are a High Lord. You have greater priorities than a marriage with my sister who is still unaware of your feelings.”

None greater than my mate. She heard his voice but he was not speaking. Nyra was now confused. I can speak to you mind to mind. It is a rare ability among my kind. Those who wield it are called daemati.

“What’s a mate?” And Rhysand explained the entire concept of mates to her. He was honest about real life examples of mates including his parents and the miserable union his mother had endured. And how he hoped that Feyre and he could be happy with each other.

“What if she does not fall in love with you? Or what if she has a change of heart even if she does fall in love with you?” Both of them knew very well what had happened between Feyre and Tamlin. A repetition was not acceptable.

“I will let her go. She will have everything to lead her life as she pleases regardless of whether she returns my affections or has a change of heart after being with me.”

“Cassian told me that the fae are bound by their promises.” She looked at the small star in her palm that had appeared mere minutes ago.

“I shall make you as many promises as you require of me.” The stars in his eyes were blinking now.

“To love her. To cherish her. To help her when she needs it. And to let go if she wants it. To never hurt her. Promise it, Rhysand. All of it.” She walked forward and stopped right in front of him.

“I promise.” He took her hand and looked up at her face. Even with his teary gaze, he could see the silent tears trailing down Nyra’s eyes. “I will love Feyre Archeron with all that I am, body, mind, power and soul. I will help her when she needs it. I will let her go peacefully without a fight if she chooses to leave me. I will not hurt her in any manner even if she does accept me and then has a change of heart. If by any chance, she does accept me and chooses to be with me, I will care for her. I promise that she will never want for anything so long as I can do anything about it. I will protect her and value her life above my own at all times. I will never consider her inferior to me, only my equal and above. She will not be sidelined as a wife or a consort. She will rule beside me as my equal in the Night Court. This is my promise to you, Nyra Archeron.”

And with that, a tattoo bloomed in the palms of their respective hands which were connected. Nyra felt a tingling sensation and turned her hand to see it. She turned his own hand and saw the identical tattoos bloom. It was a crescent moon and a single star formed in the space where the remaining part of the moon should have been to be a full one. She looked at his face with a questioning glance.

“Promises among the fae are evidenced by tattoos.” Rhys’s words still held a glimmer of hope that reflected in the stars in his eyes. “I promise to accept whatever punishment you deem fit for me should I break any of my promises to you.” Another tattoo for another promise but this time, the new tattoo was like a continuation of the old one. The borders of the crescent moon were now lined with small flowers and smaller leaves.

In Nyra’s absence, the tattoo would burn him like all tattoos did when bargains were broken. During her lifetime, she would choose his punishment.

“You have my blessing so as long as you keep your word.” Nyra nodded at him. He turned their hands, now hiding their palms. Rhys kissed the back of Nyra’s hand with tears flowing down his cheeks freely.

“Thank you.” He whispered. He repeated it so many times, completely consumed by Nyra’s acceptance of a union with Feyre, if it ever happened. Nyra stood up, placed her hands on his shoulders. She gently led him to stand up and take a seat next to her in the armchair which she had initially offered for a seat.

From outside the room, Azriel and Cassian flanked the doors like guards. They heard every single word and tears formed in their eyes. They shared a single glance and looked away. Cassian lifted a hand to press his thumb and forefinger to his eyes. He lifted his chin to avoid the tears from spilling. Azriel simply willed himself to remain stoic. And even then the shadows did not stop telling him about Nyra's tears.

Nesta, who had been standing in front of the door, had heard everything. She gave no reaction and simply turned and walked away. She did not mind that Rhysand had asked Nyra about this and not her. She was not worthy anyway. As someone who did nothing but let her anger consumer her, she was unworthy. She was nothing.

****

“She's never going to return.” Elain remarked as they stared at the spot from where the fae had disappeared.

“She won’t. Fae are not welcome in the mortal lands.” Nesta answered quietly.

She thought of Rhysand who was in love with Feyre. If Feyre did ever accept Rhysand as a lover, she would definitely not return. He was someone who wielded power and influence. He was polite to them only because they were related to the woman he loved. His only obligation other than the relation was the threat the war posed to the lands he ruled.

For his people, Rhysand would fight, beg, and bow. He would kill and be killed, do and endure worse. Nesta felt like Rhys might have already gone through all of that if he had been High Lord for over five centuries.

Nesta looked at Nyra who looked at the sky from the closed window. Elain had returned to her room and had informed them that she would join them for preparing lunch at noon. That would be three hours. Nesta resolved to read another novel to distract herself. Her mind was a whirlpool but her thoughts could not swim. Everything was happening, all at once. She did not want to drown in the water. Amidst her desire, she had become the fire that burned cold.

Her twin had yet to recover completely. Nyra had a life to live. Like Elain, she had to live, laugh, and love. Elain had found someone to love, the evidence of it resting on the ring finger of her left hand. Nyra too deserved a life. Nesta did not. She did not deserve to be loved.

Love was a luxury Nesta did not deserve but her sisters loved her. Her twin, the younger one she protected and the youngest whom she tried to hate with all of her being. And she felt a spark of it just recently. Nesta walked away and ascended the stairs, hoping the movement would remove old thoughts and replace it with new ones.

When Nesta reached Elain’s room, she could hear the sobs before she knocked. Her hand halted and she hesitated more as the sobs continued. She retreated as quietly as possible and headed to her bedroom.

The doors opened and her grand bedroom revealed itself. It was a splash of burgundy curtains, brick red sheets with ochre pillows and cushions. She preferred gold over the silver that Nyra preferred. Red, however, sang to her. And she tossed a few logs into the fireplace and lit it. The glow of the flames brought out the spirit of the room and its occupant.

She turned at the sound of a single knock on the door which was Nyra’s preferred pattern of knocking. “Come in!” Her twin entered the room, the golden glow of the flames colouring her as she approached Nesta by the fireplace.

And the sisters did not speak, but revelled in the silence for hours to Elain came by and reminded them of lunch.

****

The days passed by. Previously, the monotony that was only interrupted when either Cassian or Azriel visited. Cassian had stopped visiting after his banter with Nesta had once escalated to the point where she had banished him from setting foot into the estate unless it was to meet the queens. But now, the meetings with the queens had come to pass. Their fae guests had gotten their hands on whatever they sought. There was no more communication from them.

A gentle tap on her window late in the night has Nyra looking outside. Nesta walked over and opened the window. For a moment, she was convinced it was just the wind but she looked back instantly to find Azriel materialising from the shadows next to Nyra’s bed. Nesta closed the window and walked over. The two of them sat down on the chairs near the bed.

“No news from the queens.” Nesta began. It was a disappointing update. Azriel nodded at her once.

“How are things otherwise?” He asked kindly. He was probably referring to her health but Nyra did not ignore the possibility of him asking it in a general sense.

“Things are as dull as they can be.” Nyra replied, the dullness she mentioned lacing her voice.

“I hear the two of you have reading habits.” He lifted a palm and the shadows brought a neatly wrapped package. Azriel gently set it on the bedside table. He wasn’t sure why he bought them but he didn’t like the idea of revisiting for the first time alone just like that. “They are novels from our world.”

Nesta couldn’t accept the world of the fae but Azriel was the most polite and well mannered of the bunch. She nodded with a hum. Nyra took the package eagerly and began unwrapping it. When she couldn’t get it right after a point of time, she frowned and ripped the package. Azriel chuckled at the enthusiasm. The three books lay on the blankets above her lap. Hardcover with a carefully intricate design drawn over it. Nyra beamed at him with a smile and his gaze softened.

Nesta saw the exchange and knew that they might talk about those novels at some point once the sisters had read them. And it would have been fine. Anything would be accepted as a topic of conversation except the hopeless news from the queens. Conversation with Azriel had been surprisingly easier. Conversation with Cassian was either a headache or a challenge or both.

Nesta knew that she missed Cassian. Because she was actually starting to look forward to their banters. Despite her declaration of banishment, Cassian would visit whenever he claimed Azriel was busy. She knew he liked their interactions. She also knew that Nyra was starting to like the fae. That her dear twin had started enjoying Azriel and Cassian’s company. Nesta had watched as Cassian and Nyra joke around each other. And Azriel and Nyra had discussed books and histories of their kind and a friendship had bloomed between them.

“The Treaty between the fae and the humans was a headache.” Azriel sighed. Nyra raised a curious eyebrow. “Rhys was healing, so he wasn’t there. Cassian and Mor attended on our behalf and I was travelling around the Night Court.”

“And this was around the time Rhys became High Lord?” Azriel nodded his head at Nyra’s question.

“We barely have any records here in our side of the world.” There it was. The stark reminder that they were from different worlds and that even this odd story of friendship would be a difficult thing to maintain. Maybe, someday in the future, Azriel would forget them. Feyre would forget ever having sisters white they would remember her their entire lives.

“Any information about anything that old is either word of mouth or anything passed down by families. Official records exist in the archives of the mortal queens but that remains unavailable to the common folk.”

Nyra watched him with lips slightly parted. Nesta knew at once something ridiculous was cooking inside her head. As smart as Nyra was, she could say the most outrageous things at times.

"I will never be able to digest the fact that you are so old." Nyra spoke. Azriel let out a snort and a small laugh. "Even our ancestors with the Archeron name would not have been born five centuries ago and you were there. During the war, after it, and now. It's just..."

"Even the thought of it is inconceivable." Nesta spoke where Nyra trailed away. Azriel turned to her with a curiousity. "To have lived in what we refer to as the past and to stand before our eyes as though you have not aged."

"We haven't aged since we were thirty. That's when fae are considered to be completely adults." Azriel explained. He did not dwell on the details of how Illyrians aged and how it differed from others.

It had been almost a month since the mortal Archerons saw anyone from the Night Court. And the sisters were not ashamed to admit that they missed their company. Not only had they lost their sister to immortality but also new friends. Nesta would never consider the fae her friends but Nyra would. She had befriended Azriel and Cassian and even Rhysand to an extent. Even Elain had been a part of their conversations with Morrigan bringing tea for them. But with the war to prepare for, nobody visited. And they remained confined to their estate.

****

A sweet voice kept calling out to her. By her name. Over and over again. In the depths of what seemed like the abyss, the bright silhouette of a female called out to her.

“Nyra.” She had never heard a more melodious voice. Soothing and calm. Something so different from what she had experienced so far. Drastically so.

“Awaken.” The voice whispered. “Remember.” It felt like somebody was holding their hand. That hand was soft, their grip gentle. Slowly, Nyra felt herself be tugged forward. She did not know whether she was standing or floating or flying but she somehow followed that tug. "Live."

An entire life flashed before her eyes. Birth. Childhood. Adolescence. Adulthood. Age. And finally, death. Parents, siblings, friends, love. It felt like a story unwrap itself before her eyes. She soaked in every detail before she realised what exactly was happening. A life was showing itself.

And she would remember. Stories long forgotten and unrecorded because it belonged to someone who did not win. To someone who had not made their mark in history. The resolve to make that mark. A footprint to be recorded in history books. To become a winner because winners write history. Winners are remembered.

The next life came forth. The next book opened. Chapter one, two, three, four and till the end of the book.

Some lives felt like watching a mural. Some felt like novels. Some felt like dreams. Some felt like something else. And she wanted to see. After being confined in the house for so long, Nyra Archeron wanted to live. And so she opened everything.

“Slowly, my child.” The voice whispered. “Everything is yours.”

Nesta Archeron had drowned in the Cauldron promising death to the King. The King watched warily as she walked towards her Cauldron Made sister. She pushed Lucien away and took Elain in her arms and looked around. And then at the King and roared. “Where’s she?” Her eyes blazed with the promise of death. Everything would end at her hands.

Nyra Archeron had yet to rise from the Cauldron. The King looked at the Cauldron and signalled two of his soldiers to pull the last sister. The twins were pushed in together after Elain. The trembling fawn and the fanged beast had risen. And now, the chirping of a thousand birds sounded across the room. The two soldiers who were supposed to pull Nyra out screamed in pain and fell to the ground as though they were puppets and their strings had been cut.

Azriel looked up, his blurry vision allowing him to see only silhouettes and the bright light of the electricity that had resulted in someone screaming. His younger shadows kept screaming at him to go. To drag himself to the Cauldron even if it was his corpse. He followed that call. He felt calm which was odd. Cassian’s wings were shredded. Tamlin turned out to be a traitor and Lucien was the middle sister's mate. Nesta was angry. Rhysand and Feyre risked losing each other. Mor had been frozen by her fear. And Az continued to crawl to the Cauldron. His older shadows had abandoned him already, moving to the Cauldron faster than he could.

All the light from across the world flowed into the Cauldron in strands and cords. Light of different colours. All the white and the gold and the red and the blue and the green and so many colours flowed in. And his shadows followed a song clearer than Azriel’s had ever been. He was too weak to rein them in and the shadows emerged with the new fae from the Cauldron. A wave of calm and peace washed over. So different from Nesta’s deathly presence. The shadows helped Nyra exit the Cauldron.

Just as she exited the Cauldron, it rose mid-air. The Cauldron tipped and the liquid from it fell on Nyra, bathing her in whatever essence it deigned to grant her. A while later, it stopped and settled back where it initially was. Nyra's eyes were closed and the shadows were carrying her out and they laid her next to the shadowsinger.

Azriel had never felt so at peace right then. With his shadows and with this female lying next to him. And soon, there was a faint tune. It became clearer and louder. An ancient song thrummed within him and the shadows led him to her. There was nothing more important, nothing more beautiful, nothing more stronger than this moment. Even with that hole in his chest from Jurian’s spear, he felt his heart fill to the brim with relief.

Azriel fell asleep, feeling peaceful at the sight of her. Nyra was drenched and unconscious but he was already fainting. He did not realise it when his hand had taken hers. And if he were to die then and there, he would die peacefully. Did not feel when Mor winnowed him back to Velaris and had started healing him. All he felt was his mate and their bond. He was home.

****

TAGLIST:

@waytoomanyteenagefeels@impossibelle@esposadomd@starswholistenanddreamsanswered@judig92@bunnyredgirl@sh4nn@a-frog-with-a-laptop@kattzillaa@ronnieglennn@wallacewillow0773638@forgiveliv@justdreamstars@donttellthecats@cat-or-kitten@jojodojo02@wandas-dream@evylynny@weasleyreidstyles@stqrgirlies-blog@why4anne@acourtofdreamsandshadows @saltedcoffeescotch @mybestfriendmademe@macimads@footyandformula @noelli-smv @mqlfoyelf @thehighlordishere @slytherintaco @spideytingley

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lemotmo · 3 months

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I'm going to try and approach this a bit differently. We have all been in a position where we desperately wanted something from a show. We can all relate to the desire for something you love to become canon. I still fret about whether or not they'll actually give us Buddie. Yes it has been sign posted but it's been sign posted for years and we're still waiting. Anyway I say that part to say this next part. They are sign posted. The canon signs are there and there everywhere. None of it is made up from nothing. Yes there are headcanons but that's true of every ship. But most of the headcanons have canon scenes that they stem from. The BT stuff is all headcanon. I keep seeing gifs of Buck with gifs of Lou from other acting rolls and them being tagged as bucktommy. Those gifs have nothing to do with 911 and aren't Tommy. None of it is based on canon. It has all come from their cameo conversations with Lou. And that genuinely dumbfounds me. Because now I see less and less Buck and it's increasingly Tommy centered.

Buck is the character the show cares about and they know that. I don't know enough about the SWAT theory to speak to it's truth or not but the timing of its renewal and him going 911 dark does somewhat feed into the rumor. I don't know, it's bad enough so many of them have become horrible towards Eddie but now they're starting to change who Buck canonically is to fit their headcanons of Tommy (the whole damsel in distress nonsense enrages me). And while I understand the desire to push for what you love, basic knowledge of the show has to play into your expectations at some point. It will be interesting(terrifying) to see how they react when his arc finishes, and he himself stated it was an arc(hello people he said this) so I'm just forever dumbfounded as to how we got here and I'm someone who genuinely tried to see where they're coming from.

*sigh* sorry for the length of this ask. Your blog is lovely.

Yes Nonny. Yes! All of this! This has been on my mind for so long now and you managed to summarize it so beautifully.

I simply do not get how we got here. A couple of months ago, everything was great in this fandom. We had no great expectations of Buddie canon, but we were happy to be on ABC so we could maybe get some more Buddie scenes. And we did get them. Season 7 was great for Buddie.

Unfortunately it also brought along Tommy. I was and still am thrilled for Buck being revealed as being bisexual. It's wonderful! And the initial thrill of it was exciting. I immediately started tying this in to Eddie. A lot of us in the Buddie fandom have long since theorised that, as soon as one of them would come out, the other would follow because it would be the only thing to make sense. Buck and Eddie have both been queer-coded for so long now and finally we would see some movement in their story.

Imagine my surprise when suddenly some people decided that Tommy was the best thing that had ever happened to Buck. It was all Tommy this, Tommy that, Tommy with the sun shining out of his ***. I was so confused. Even some of my Buddie mutuals who I had known for years, just kind of gave up on Buddie and started worshipping at the altar of Tommy Kinard.

And the fact that Lou started spouting his headcanons in those cameos definitely didn't help either. Some people really believe in those headcanons.

And listen, nothing against headcanons. I have some of my own. But there is a reason why they are called 'head'canons. It's because they are things you see and recognise in a character, but they aren't discussed in the show, so they aren't 'canon'. They remain 'fanon'.

Now, don't get me wrong, ship and let ship. But there is a difference between normal 'shipping' and liking the pair, and the total craziness the Tommy-hype has become.

I know a lot of people that are multi-shippers and I have mutuals who like BT as a transitional relationship, but ultimately still want Buddie. I'm not talking about them. I'm talking about the people who suddenly started talking down on Eddie as if he was treating Buck badly and how he was a bad father. And how, even if he were queer, Buck would never choose him over Tommy. Where did that come from? They didn't say that before. Why now?

And I ask the question: What is so special about Tommy? I keep seeing people that say Buck is in the best relationship ever. HOW? WHAT? WHERE? What do these people see that I don't see?

We have seen Tommy in a handful of scenes. In all of those scenes he has been dismissive, disrespectful and frankly not very interesting. There is no chemistry at all with Buck either. I mean, if there had been some palpable chemistry I might have liked it more, but it just seems as if Lou is going through the motions in those kisses. If they are such a great couple, where are the little couple things? Where is the handholding? The little in-jokes? Nothing! I mean, Oliver does his best to keep their scenes somewhat afloat, but Lou is clearly not even trying. So I truly do not understand this strange -almost obsessive and gatekeeping- behaviour when it comes to Lou and Tommy.

It's obvious-- and anyone with eyes can see this from miles away-- that Tommy is a narrative device to have Buck explore his bisexuality. Every single thing in the show, but also around the show, is pointing in that direction.

Think about it. There was no promotion whatsoever for BT, only for bi Buck and Buddie. They had one abysmal interview where they talked for 2 seconds about BT and Oliver looked like he wanted to be anywhere but there. They have given Tommy no screentime whatsoever. He is only there when it is required for Buck's storyline. It practically screams: plot device.

Then we have Ryan giving interviews where he, once again, talks about Buck being a co-parent and how Eddie will explore himself in season 8. How he will push that refresh button and he will ultimately find the partner he needs. All gender neutral by the way.

I mean, look... I admit to having been delulu in the past over small things when it comes to Buddie. What can I say? It's been a long 6 years. But this? This is no longer about being delusional. This is full-blown 'in your face': BUDDIE IS HAPPENING! It's all right there when you look at it logically.

But yes, somehow, we are wrong because our ship isn't canon and it's apparantly homophobic to be against a canon ship?

Which... do these people know what fandom is actually about? It's about fictional people and we want to see these fictional people get interesting story arcs and we want some of them to end up together because they have such a great history and chemistry. Like Buddie.

So yes Nonny, I agree. And listen, I do too still fret sometimes that I might be seeing things that aren't there. It's in my nature as a libra to doubt everything.

But then I start putting all of the evidence in- and outside of the narrative together and... it can only lead to one thing: queer Eddie (which is about time) and eventually Buddie.

And imagine the payoff that will be. Imagine how the viewership will get a boost. So many more people would turn in. Bi Buck was big, but the fan favourite queer slow burn getting together after 7 seasons by then? The internet will explode. It will be epic.

For 6 seasons we have been rooting for these men to open their eyes and to see what is right in front of them. There were plans to go there, but FOX stopped it. Now they are on ABC and obviously ABC is okay with queer characters on their shows. I mean, look at 'Grey's anatomy'.

So yes, I proudly declare myself no longer delulu and 100% certain that Buddie is in the works. There is no more need for clown noses and clown cars. We are beyond that now. It's a matter of 'when', not 'if'.

Mind you, just my humble opinion here. But I stand with it.

#buddie #eddie diaz #evan buckley #season 8 speculation #all this fandom discourse is so exhausting #I just want those pre season 7 fandom feeling back #no ship wars #no BT nonsense #just us speculating about Buddie in our little corner of the internet #I'm tired of this #nonnies galore

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tethys-the-aquatic-sea-godness · 2 months

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Perhaps Viconia and Sarevok are changelings 🥲

I'd take any explanation that fixes the shitshow that are these two quests, major quests mind you, not side quests you can ignore. It'd be funny if they were changelings, because they'd be pretty lousy ones. Or rather a lousy one, and one who doesn't have to do much work (warning: I started ranting)

I mean, for reminder, this is viconia:

And this is... a drow:

Skintone: wrong

Age: they were drunk or they didn't try, possibly both. Viconia is a drow, a full elf, meaning +700 years of life expectancy, and they made her look as old as Jaheira, a half-elf. A 100 years should be nothing to her, she should look basically the same.

Distinctive marks: her beauty mark above her lip on the left side of her face isn't there. It's like Jaheira's braids or Minsc's tatoo, it sets her apart. Without it, it's not her.

As for Sarevok, well, with his armour and his helmet, you see like 1/4 of his face, you could put anyone in there, and slap face paint on. So not too much work for a changeling.

But if it makes you feel any better, you can actually get in game clues that hint neither of those characters are who they claim to be. These hints are never remarked upon or pointed out by any characters, you have to find them and take the time to read them.

This, for example, is the description of the drow's dress (also BG 3 has a problem with treating its clerics like anime healers. This is DnD, clerics wear mail or plate, unless they multiclass with wizard, but I digress):

Dulls senses, thoughts, feelings... sounds like a good dress for brainwashing, not having an efficient cleric. It's not hard to imagine Shar being salty enough that Viconia left her cult that she picked another of her drow cleric to take Viconia's identity. Keep her 'working' for her in spirit as payback. One of Shar's whole thing is about forgetting all, including yourself. Switching her followers' identity to suit her whims wouldn't be out of place. I could see a 'Shadowheart' mother superior in the future, with little in common with her template beside being a half-elf. Shar is the type to hold grudges. Ask Selûne.

Now Sarevok comes with a failsafe too. Let's ignore's Jaheira's delirious episode where she spouts absolute nonsense that has no basis in either BG 1 or 2. She's not that young anymore, she's spent time in the shadowlands and she has kids to look after, she's under a lot of stress. We'll call it a breakdown.

If you dig around for loot, you can come across this book: Disorders of the Nerves and Mind: A Treatise

Here you read about how a totally random guy started calling himself 'Sarevok' and talking about 'raising the father', after finding (and reading?) a strange book.

If you remember the previous games, you may recall a dream sequence in SoA:

Bhaal is perfectly capable of using Sarevok's appearance for his avatar. If you add to that the fact that before he was killed by Cyric, he was already too weak to have his own form and only existed through possessing the bodies of murderers, well, it's not hard to imagine Bhaal using a random murderer's body and passing it off as Sarevok. He's the first Bhaalspawn who rebelled and tried to usurp him, you can't tell me Bhaal isn't salty about that.

Now obviously, this is me drawing conclusions from scraps found within the game. I don't think it's a 'fix-it', or that it makes Sarevok and Viconia's butchered characterization alright. Especially since these scraps don't mean anything in the narration. I've said it before, but they read like room for deniability, they feel too specific not to be. Like someone knew it was trash and they tried to patchwork an exit. But like I said, without relevance to the narrative, it's meaningless.

Regardless of any explanation, as far as I'm concerned, neither of the people we encounter are the real Sarevok, or the real Viconia.

#baldur's gate 3 #baldur's gate 3 critical #larian critical #bg 3 critical #i guess #is it critical if it's true though #cause they messed this up big time #sarevok anchev #viconia devir #rant

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oliversrarebooks · 1 year

Text

The Rare Bookseller Part 15: Emily's Last Meal

Masterlist

September 1925

TW: captivity, mind control, covert brainwashing, Emily POV

Emily spent the entire afternoon curled up in a ball on her cot, wishing there were anything she could do to take her mind off of her situation. She'd like to go to sleep, even though the lights were still on, but sleep wasn't coming.

Lily had taken Oliver again, which meant the next time she saw him he'd most likely be glassy eyed and spouting pro-vampire nonsense, robbing her of the only person in the place she could at least hold a conversation with.

Even though he was a victim as much as she was, she wasn't especially inclined to feel charitable towards him right now. She had hardly slept a wink since she'd been dragged into these cells, and the sleep deprivation had been making her especially irritable, a raw nerve that kept being poked. And last night had been the worst night at all, because Oliver had spent the entire lights-out period chanting hypnotic mantras, loud enough for Emily to hear. There had been a steady drone of "obedience is pleasure" and "no desire to resist" the entire night with only brief respites. Not only was it disruptive, but Emily had actively fought sleep, not wanting to fall asleep with hypnotic chanting softening her mind.

The vampire guards who were so quick to crack down on unwanted noises did nothing about this, of course. Emily suspected that Lily had engineered this to take down both her and Oliver at once, a two-for-one special.

It wasn't Oliver's fault, and she knew that. Her annoyance should be directed towards Lily and their vampire captors, and it mostly was. But she still very much wasn't in the mood to speak to him when Oliver returned, completely unguarded, wearing a simple white kind of frock dress and looking quite serene.

"What are you wearing, Oliver?"

"Miss Lily gave me these clothes and let me shower," he explained. He was standing in front of her cell and none of the vampires seemed to care.

A lost cause, she thought, and hated herself for thinking so.

"And she told me to tell you that she'll be inducing you very soon."

Emily felt her mouth go dry, a cold pit of fear in her stomach. Of course, she expected this. She'd known what was coming. That didn't make it any easier.

"I know you're scared of it, Emily, but it's really not that bad," said Oliver in a tone that was probably meant to be reassuring. "She didn't take my mind that much at all. I still feel like myself, I just don't have any desire to escape, and I want to obey whatever the vampires tell me to do. That's not that bad, right?"

Oh, Oliver was such a lost cause. And she was next in line.

"Are you listening to yourself? You think that wanting to obey the vampires, the vampires who kidnapped us and are holding us in prison to sell -- you think that's okay?"

Something briefly flashed in Oliver's eyes, a spark of life. "I think it's... I think it's our reality," he said. "And if we have to be here... is it so bad if they make us want to obey? It's easier, and will help us survive. That makes sense, right?"

"I don't really care what makes sense," she said. "I don't want to be a slave. I don't want a vampire erasing my free will. I don't want some monster feeding off of me -- or did they make you forget that they were going to do that, too?"

"I didn't," he said. "You're probably not going to believe me, but Miss Lily showed me a little of what it would be like, and it wasn't nearly as bad as I had imagined. I'm not sure how to explain it without sounding crazy, though."

"It sounds crazy because it is crazy. Because you're totally under their spell now. What about your bookshop? Your former life?"

Oliver's calm facade broke a bit as he looked down at his feet. "...I'm not getting those back, I don't think," he said. "I... um. Perhaps this is an awkward question, but how hypnotized am I, actually? I feel fine, but..."

"I think Lily's gotten so far in your head that you can't even tell how much any more. I'm sorry."

"...I suspected that might be the case."

"Do you want me to try and snap you out of it?"

"No. I have no desire to resist," he said, automatically.

Oh, this poor man.

She should save him. She should try to wake him up again. But she was exhausted, and knew how futile it would be. Even if she could make a dent in Lily's influence, she'd only just take him again. He was no doubt going to keep her up again all night with chanted mantras.

She felt selfish, heartless, but she'd been running her whole life. Running from her family, from her awful, alcohol soaked father, from abusive lovers, from poverty. And now it might actually be the end of the line, and she was so, so tired, and Oliver was so obviously a lost cause.

They both were. She was going to die down here in everything but the technical sense, giving her life for a vampire's pleasure. Few would miss her or even notice she was gone.

"They're bringing dinner now, Emily. I'd better get back in my cell," Oliver said. "And... I'm sorry that I can't help you. I really am."

"I'm sorry, too, Oliver."

Dinner arrived, and it was a heaping plate of roast turkey and gravy with mashed potatoes, peas, and a slice of apple pie, of all things. Imagine apple pie baked and served by vampires! It smelled heavenly and it was the largest meal they'd served yet. She couldn't help but be suspicious.

She knew that no matter how suspicious she was, she'd cave and eat it in a few minutes at most. She'd been hungry enough in her life that she couldn't bear not to eat hot, fresh food when it was right in front of her face, especially since it hadn't been drugged or poisoned up until now. She hated herself for how eagerly she ate the vampires' prison food, cleaning her plate every time, and that it was the best fed she'd been in ages.

This was no exception, the kind of meal she dreamed about on nights when she'd had to content herself with half a can of beans or a single mashed potato. At least if this was her last meal as herself, it was a decent one.

The lights snapped off, and she'd barely had enough time to brace herself before Oliver started up the mantras again. "Obedience is pleasure," he said, in a thick, drowsy voice. "No desire to resist. Too tired to resist. Hopeless to resist..."

Emily furrowed her brow. That seemed directly pointed at her. Lily was trying to wear her down, she just knew it. Whatever she did, she couldn't sleep tonight, couldn't let those thoughts be drilled into her brain.

She sat, and stared into the pitch black gloom, and tried to think of anything, anything at all. Old friends. New paints. A pint of cheap beer. Fall leaves. The view from the Oak Street Bridge.

Too tired to resist...

She was never getting out of here, was she?

She was so sleep deprived, and her stomach was comfortably full, and the cells were always kept warm...

She didn't realize it when her head began to nod, her thoughts swirling into nightmares of a vampire pinning her down and drinking from her neck, draining her energy and life, all the while Oliver's voice droned on about obedience.

And she didn't, at first, realize it when Oliver's droning voice mixed with Lily's.

"Obedience is pleasure. You're too tired to resist, Emily, much too tired," said a calm and soothing voice close by.

Emily stirred. She wasn't in her bed. She was being... held? Carried.

"Shhh, Emily, relax. Go back to sleep. You're so tired," said Lily. "And you're already under my spell. There's nothing to fight. Go back to sleep."

A nightmare? It had to be. "I'm not..." she protested, trying to wake up. Why was it so hard? She cracked her eyelids open. Lily was looking down at her while carrying her in her arms.

"Of course you are, dear. Even the most defiant human must sleep, and even the most defiant human mind is vulnerable while sleeping," she said, as though explaining to a child. "Sleep now, go back to sleep. You're too tired to resist."

This couldn't be happening. This couldn't be happening now. She felt herself slipping back into slumber against her will, clawing her consciousness back from the brink.

"You're not going to have me," she said, fighting the haze that threatened to swallow her.

"Oh, pet, I've subdued a hundred girls like you and I'll subdue a hundred more after," she said. "Now hush, and go back to sleep."

Part Fourteen >> Masterlist >> Part Sixteen

Thank you for reading this story about Emily.

Tag list - please note if you'd like to be added

@d-cs @latenightcupsofcoffee @thecyrulik @dismemberment-on-a-tuesday-night @wanderinggoblin @whumpyourdamnpears @only-shadows-dwell-where-we-are @pressedpenn @pigeonwhumps

#whump #whump writing #whumpee #mind control #vampire #vampire whumper #tw kidnapping #captivity #rare bookseller #oliver #emily #lily

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scoonsalicious · 5 months

Note

helo helo mother pookie, again u did not dissappoint🩷🩷🩷

Buckybaby and Major are horndogs. Six — i bet it was more than that — times? DAYYUMMM!! I like it 👉🏻👈🏻 It’s cute to see Buckybaby POV, while Major’s was so dirty 😏😂 Idk why but that’s the vibe.

bucky junior and his approval for Major.

Now let’s speak of luluwhatsoever. She’s taking advantage of Bucky’s friendship here. Bucky is a great friend, maybe Lenovo is too, however she has her own agenda, which is loving/liking him. Here’s the thing, now that Major is in her life (and soon might be permanent), Leah’s gonna try her best to seduce him (if she can) OR spouting nonsense so that Bucky is guilty (he is now) OR making sure that Major looks bad in his view by framing her (again — if she can). You know how wild/crazy woman could be for a man! (flashback cunthage)

But I have faith in this Bucky. He’s certain with his needs. Major too.

As said by our lovely Pookie, Leah is Bucky #1 only ‘girl’bestfriend, and she takes pride of that but for Bucky he might clueless and just rolls with it because well, she is his bestfriend. Lenovo is toxic, possessive, manipulative (kinda bcs she’s taking advantage), and ofc a bad friend. I feel like from the beginning it wasn’t a conquest to be’friend’ him but to be—in—a—relationship with him, but Lenovo couldn’t just force herself in his life as a ‘girlfriend’, so the only way to break Buckybaby shell was to be his ‘actual’ friend and then leeches her way in bit by bit but then Bucky will always saw her as a sister figure (which is sad but oh well Lucinta, you are not reader)

About Leah’s misogyny not liking girly girly thing, that shit is there bcs well, as a pick me girl you have to be a girl the likes baddie baddie thing ONLY (speaking like a true pick me girl connoisseur). Bucky is the wintah soldiah! He a baddie, ofc Lenovo is going to act baddie baddie too (well she’s bad at it). Plus, it’s an attack mechanism. Major is a queen, she's threatened!! Plus to make it worse, Bucky is attracted to the queen! She has to activate her pick me baddie system and show off her #1 badge. Again a pride for her but normalcy for Bucky.

NEXT, let's go to Steve. Idk if this Steve is fishy but I had a feeling this Steve is just normal. He's a good friend, AND it is normal to remind your friend 'don't rush into the stuffs'. He's not against it, he just giving advice to 'take it slow' as what Bucky said before he has all the time in the world (y'know abt Major wanna lick his lollipop junior but he wanna stick it into the tight donut first).

The reason why Steve said it is bcs Bucky starts saying the stuffs he and Major had a thing there. If Bucky didn't say it, I think Steve wouldn't say anything too except 'Im great for ya pall for having sex that is actually 6 times but yeah I'm boring so i wouldn't say that shit'.

….

I hope

….

Don't disappoint me WFLT Steve

(this is why i like dark!Steve👉🏻👈🏻)

Lastly, abt Zade and Rand, again being the good friend. It’s also normal. I mean, imagine having a real Bucky Barnes in real life sans the appearance and change Avenger to cops/military. IMAGINE. OKAY? IM MAKING THIS REALISTIC. A guy that murdered thousands of man/woman where we had zero knowledge of his history and nicknamed The Ripper/Butcher (for example😂). We didn’t know anything except in the trial he’s a friend of said famous cop/military, and now serve the country. If it were me, it sounds fishy as hell. So do not blame me to be dramatic initially because I’m not the one was getting railed by his dick.

(But ofc in fanfiction I would react differently, I mean… ITS BUCKY BARNES!!)

Anyways, that is all for today. Mother Pookie, I wuv you so much and all of your pets!! THEY R SO FLUFFY!!!🩷🩷🩷

My precious! <3

Your posts make me so happy. I can't even!

I really, really love Bucky and Major just being completely and totally head over heels for each other from the go, you know? Like, they both know they are kind of rushing into this, but they're both coming from places where they felt like they wasted enough time being unhappy (Major with her loveless marriage and Bucky being, you know, a brainwashed assassin, lol) that they just want to go for it.

Bucky Junior's approval for Major is highly appreciated, lol. He has definitely given her a standing ovation, lol.

deLulu has been a good friend to Bucky in the past, just as long as it's not involving any of the girls he previously dated, lol. She's got this idea in her head that their relationship's gonna play out like a typical best friends to lovers fan fiction or something, and that she just has to let it progress naturally. She's in love with the very idea of it, more than she's actually in love with Bucky. She wants to live that story. Honestly, the male main character in it wasn't really that important to her. She's tried it before, and it's always failed.

Lenovo (love calling her this, btw) is SO threatened by our queen, and I think it has something to do with the fact that Major is just unabashedly herself, whereas Lenovo is constantly putting up a front to try to make herself what she thinks Bucky wants. I want to try to explore this later on. So, of course Lenovo will take these elements she sees in Major and dump on them, because she thinks that it will make her look better. She is wrong. So wrong. And dumb.

I promise WFLT Steve is a Steve and not a Steeb! He's just... there, lol. No shady business on his part. Just being old fashioned and warning his bestie to be careful with his heart because he doesn't want to see him fall fast and hard and not have the girl feel the same way (he doesn't need to worry, Major is just as in as Bucky is!)

And Zadie and Rand are also coming from a place of love, for the most part. In Rand's case, it might be a little bit of "I think I know better than you," but it's mostly love. They don't know Bucky, they don't know his dick. They're just going by what they watched on Court TV or something, lol.

I love you, Pookie! Thank you so much for writing; you make my day!

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episodicnostalgia · 1 year

Text

Star Trek: The Next Generation, 111 (Jan. 9, 1988) - “The Big Goodbye”

Written by: Tracy Torme Directed by: Joseph L. Scanlan

The Breakdown

Picard is prepping for an especially stressful diplomatic mission wherein he is required to recite a specific speech in a complex alien language with a species that is deadly serious about grammar; Empasis on the word ‘deadly’. Noting his mounting anxiety, Beverly Crusher writes Picard a prescription for… a play date on the holodeck, and amazingly Picard takes the doctor’s orders to heart. In fact, Jean Luc has such a good time playing a noir private-eye thriller that he invites Beverly, Data, and the ship’s 20th century literary buff along with him (his name isn’t important, because we’ll never see him again). Unfortunately, this transpires at the same time that our Grammar-specific aliens arrive, pre-emptively scanning the ship, which accidentally locks the holodeck and takes the safety protocols offline in one fell swoop (which seems like a pretty substantial design flaw).

While Picard misses every single advance that Crusher makes towards Picard (and folks I gotta tell you, she’s REALLY not being subtle about it), the holo-adventure begins to take a turn for the worse as the program’s mobster-villains show up with fully lethal weapons, which they happily use on Picard’s history-nerd friend (who remarkably survives, but barely). Meanwhile the literal-grammar-nazi-aliens are getting impatient with Riker’s inability to produce Picard for their scheduled meeting (apparently explaining that a ship malfunction has Picard temporarily incapacitated isn’t a viable option). Thankfully the holodeck door eventually opens, and Picard is able to convince the mobsters to walk through first, causing them to disappear (since there are no holo-emitters in the corridor). And so Picard is free to deliver his nonsense speech to the grammar enthusiasts, and the day is saved.

The Verdict

Finally! A holodeck Episode!

‘The Big Goodbye’ gives us our first “just-for-fun” episode and it’s about goddamn time. Oh don’t misunderstand, the episode is exactly as ridiculous as what I’ve described above, but for the most part it’s intentional, and in this case it makes all the difference. I’ve always had a soft spot for holodeck stories, because it gives us a look into what the crew get up to when they aren’t spouting techno-babble, debating the prime directive, or dealing with transporter disasters.

Picard also gets to have some fun here, meaning this might be the first time he doesn’t come across as a total buzzkill. Aside from some clunky pacing and a slightly anticlimactic ending, this is a pretty fun episode. Superior holodeck adventures would follow, but this one had to walk so the others could run.

3 stars (out of 5)

Additional Observations

Based on what we've seen this season, it would seem that the holodeck is still a fairly new technology, especially considering how Picard marvels at what it can do.

Right off the bat, this episode clearly establishes that holodeck characters are/can become self aware, and are capable experiencing fear (and likely pain). This is just the first of many times that Star Trek will play at this across multiple shows. As fun as these episodes are, it’s always struck me that there should be a greater ethical consideration for Holo-people and their rights.

I have always wondered why the ability to remove safety protocols was ever an option, especially on a holodeck that’s accessible to both crew and civilians alike.

Picard has no business being so clueless about women. In fact when it comes to relationships and courtship the entire crew seems to possess the emotional intelligence of an average 14-year-old.

I gotta hand it to Patrick Stewart, even when he’s spewing absolute nonsense alien gibberish, he commits 100%.

I never mentioned the set design, but this episode also looks great. Really fun to see the noir aesthetic on Star Trek.

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grimogretricks · 2 years

Text

JKR has ruined things in my country

TW/CW: Transphobia, homophobia, Scotland and the UK being a transphobic hell hole right now. Brief mention of sexual assault. Also this is a depressing rant.

JKR has ruined things in my country.

That sounds pretty hyperbolic, but, it's, surreally, unfortunately probably true.

The SNP's Nicola Sturgeon has long been one of the few UK politicians who could provide an articulate, progressive, well argued voice in support of important left leaning principles against a prevailing right wing tide. In complete contrast to the total mealy mouthed nonsense spouted by the likes of the labour leader, who's afraid to stand up for anything at all lest he do a poor job of pandering enough to tory ideas to get voted in. She's the closest thing the UK has had to an opposition to tory principles, standing up for worker's rights, equality and the NHS.

And now, she's resigned. And regardless of what she says, I do believe it's because of the rampant transphobia stirred up by JKR, who personally made Scotland's gender reform bill an ignition point for anti-trans hate in the UK. Transphobia from the media, transphobia stirred up in her OWN party, transphobia from all sides, is causing rifts and schisms due to the deeply morally regressive panic JKR gave so much voice to.

Now Nicola Sturgeon has resigned, and it's like a mask has fallen off the SNP. What had seemed to be a progressive party, with commitment to LGBT rights and equality, now shows itself as riddled with transphobia and homophobia. Because among those slated to replace here, there are.. a right wing religious lunatic who doesn't believe in gay marriage, and a woman who supported 'Alba' - which was Alex Salmond's transphobic, Russia pandering party (the ex SNP leader, a man who could not be left alone with women without sexually harassing and groping them). Granted, there is also Humza Yousaf, who is pro-LGBT rights, and hopefully will become our leader, but that these people even exist in the party, let alone want to become the leader, is alarming in itself.

It was fun for five minutes to think that maybe transgender rights would split the UK but what's this fuss from the media against Nicola Sturgeon has actually done is removed one of the last progressive and articulate voices in British politics willing to actually call the tories out on their bullshit. And now this has also created articles saying things like 'maybe joining with the greens and trying to be progressive about trans rights was a mistake from the SNP as trans rights aren't popular'.

Apparently, it's not worth sticking up for Scotland's own ability to put bills into place in its own country and stopping Sunak from trying to block our reforms if it's about transgender rights.

It's despair inducing, that fighting for trans rights has been made into such a divisive issue, and genuinely, that JKR has actually been at the forefront of a massive wave of senseless and cruel moral panic that is diverting people in Britain away from actually caring about actual massive, huge problems in the UK. Like people dying due to NHS waiting times, like the massive inflation, like the unprecedented cost of living increase, like tories actually proposing further reducing our human rights, our rights to protest, and worker's rights, and various disasterous consequences of Brexit. Things are DIRE right now, and hating transgender people has been whipped up into a fury not solely by JKR, but SHE made this gender bill into an ignition point for UK anti-trans hate.

The tories meanwhile, are loving this massive diversion in attention, especially since to 'fix' it requires that they do literally nothing except get in the way of further progress. They found a way to curb Scotland's right to determine their own bills without upsetting the majority of Scots by counting on people to be transphobic, and it worked.

#jkr #jk rowling #trans rights #SNP #Scotland #Nicola Sturgeon #transphobia #homophobia #UK politics

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triflesandparsnips · 11 months

Note

Off the back of your RPF post (which I wholeheartedly endorse, support, etc), why do critics totally forget the concept of public personas? We all have them (see any social media account, work!You versus friends!You, etc), so why are people being so precious about RPF being the Nice and Accurate Representation of someone?

note 1) Once upon a time, I [very stupidly, in retrospect, but fuelled entirely by morbid curiosity] dipped into some RPF about two people I had worked with and, naturally, it was in no way like the people involved. Of course it wasn't. Because the people in real life are sometimes pathologically shy or have a really terrible sense of humour or don't give a damn about the character they're playing, but get paid a lot to sound like they do. The exact opposite is also true.

You are 1000% right that the critics who spout awful nonsense about reading/writing RPF totally miss the part where the people in RPF do not exist because we as fans do not know strangers' personalities.

But also...

note 2) there's a reason famous people generally keep stuff like that at arm's length because, really, can you imagine someone shipping you with Jan from Accounts and then reading about it? No? Exactly.

Yikes. Sorry. This wasn't meant to come off as a rant, more a co-sign to what you wrote! Just wanted to reach out and agree. I've no need/desire for you to respond if you don't fancy it :)

(Also, sorry Jan from Accounts, I'm sure you're lovely, I just don't have the spoons for that kind of relationship)

Yes! ABSOLUTELY.

Regarding note 1: Anon, I KNOW THAT FEEL. There are Folks on tumblr here and also In Various Public Spaces that I definitely work with and/or exist alongside in the same work community, and what fans (or, in some cases, just people outside that work community) believe those Folks are like in Real Life is... deeply inaccurate. But what few things they do "know" are "facts" that have been specifically shared as part of the persona! And where there are gaps in the persona (similar to where there are gaps in a piece of media), fans will add their own emotional narrative logic to try and fill in the blanks-- and the folly comes (as anyone who goes ALL IN on a piece of fanon or personal heartcanon) from believing that the shit you made up is somehow actually true.

And regarding note 2: YES ALSO ABSOLUTELY. Like, let people make their own terrible decisions because they are goddamn adults and/or let them curate their experience with the help of their actual friends. We can't know what these Public People want to do! We can't know what they're okay with! STOP SHOWING UP IN THEIR LIVING ROOM, FFS.

John Oliver has a delightful story about reading Daily Show slash RPF that he got from a friend (or so he says, in the middle of a comedy show, which is also a crafted work that could be full of lies for the sake of the narrative). In his comedy narrative, he wasn't into it! But even assuming it's all true, it was his choice to continue reading, and his choice to turn it into a comedy routine. Because he is an adult who gets to make that choice.

2010s bandom, on the other hand, was a cornucopia of RPF because the bands publicly talked about or referenced reading fic about themselves (to the degree that a common fic warning was "Stop googling yourself, Gabe"). They also got to make that decision! Fans got kind of uncomfortable about it! Bandom looked into the void and the void looked back and said "That was hot."

(Meanwhile, if you continue to believe John Oliver's comedy routines, he also discusses the ramifications of googling yourself, but by god, it's still his choice to make.)

(...And because of these choices he and his writing team on Last Week Tonight have been able to do some truly fantastic shenanigans, including, for instance, collecting digital data from Congress using ads for "Ted Cruz erotic fan fiction". So like. Even personal tragedy can lead to Art, so jot that down.)

Finally, Zach Kornfeld from the Try Guys (which hey if we wanna talk about the difference between personas and reality, ahahaha) specifically discusses what it means to be reliant on the parasocial relationship between audience and creator:

You know, look, the parasocial relationship is the only reason I'm here. It's the people who watch me, I owe them everything and I wanna give them everything. But there has to be boundaries you create. It's a really tricky thing. I also don't want to abuse that relationship. I think it's really easy to look at your audience and go, like, "We're friends," and "Come on, you love me, support me." We're not friends. You don't know me. I'm lying to you all the time. I'm curating what I give you. I'm trying to make myself look as good as possible. The job of a creator is to be as broadly likable as possible all the time.

And like... yeah. YEAH.

RPF is fiction. From the top to the bottom, from the beginning to the end. And the moment you think any of it actually touches on the """truth""" of a real person, you are the one making things fucking weird.

#talking to my anons #RPF #fandom #writing #jfc

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athenasparrow · 1 year

Text

20 Qs for Fic Writers

Thank you all for tagging me! @wearingaberetinparis @annabtg @kay-elle-cee

How many works do you have on AO3? 27! That's counting my submission for @jilytoberfest masquerade

What's your total A03 word count? Currently at 181,851 words

What fandoms do you write for? Only HP!

What are your top 5 fics by kudos? LAYLOM: The first time Lily kisses James, he doesn’t even know. DWOHT: But despite his best efforts, he couldn’t take his eyes off her figure as she moved effortlessly in rhythm with whatever song she had playing. He learned she was wearing more than a t-shirt when she slid across the kitchen on her socks, throwing her head back to sing words James wished he could hear. The Art of Identification: Lily Evans, star potions pupil, can't identify Amortentia when it's staring her right in the face (or nose). Stripped Back To Basics: In which Petunia probably regrets telling Lily to "put herself out there." The Right Door: Sirius and Remus try to set up Lily and James, but turns out they've already met.

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? Yes! I love to respond!! I am QUITE behind right now (there are 40 messages in my AO3 inbox LOL), but I'll catch up!

What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? I was just going to leave "no comment" here, but I thought I'd say... I know exactly what fic it is, but I've yet to put it up! It's been written for a while and people have encouraged me to publish it, but it's still just sitting in my WIP folder. Maybe soon!! I'll be vague so it still packs a punch when it arrives : )

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? All of my fics tend to have happy endings! I like to tie everything up in a little bow and only recently have I been learning some open-ended restraint. My personal favourite is DWOHT when Euphemia finally gets her (first) grandkid. I found it very amusing since she'd been hounding them for so long!

Do you get hate on fics? Not on a regular basis! I've had some gentle and invited criticism when I played @annabtg brave game. Then there was a rude anon, but I couldn't really take them seriously because they were just spouting nonsense so I spent most of the time giggling at their little brain LOL!

Do you write smut. If so, what kind? YES!!!! I am THE SMUT FAIRY!! Most of my fics have smut and I've written a few plotless porn fics as well. As for what kind...mostly vanilla and tame SO FAR! I should really write something more kinky.

Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written? Nope! I'm not interested in crossovers. Unlikely I will ever write one! I certainly like to base Lily and James in situations from other universes, but don't want Lily and James to interact with the characters.

Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I'm aware of : )

Have you ever had a fic translated? I have not! There's one regular commenter who leaves all her thoughts in Spanish and I adore that because I get to practice, but that's about as close as I've come LOL!

Have you ever cowritten a fic before? Yes! It's both an enjoyable and exhausting process for me (mostly enjoyable because I keep coming back for more LOL)! My first was with @charmsandtealeaves (Stripped Back To Basics). I'm currently writing with @wearingaberetinparis 👀 Her brain works at an insane pace, but as I am a mere mortal you'll have to wait until my semester finishes before there's any chance of us publishing! 😂

What's your all-time favourite ship? JILY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! They are actually THE BEST!!!

What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will? ALL OF THEM???? Look guys, I have like 25-30 WIPs and the list just keeps getting longer LOL! I'm hoping my gap year will help : )

What are your writing strengths? I think I come up with beautiful metaphors, my dialogue is interesting and my smut is hot! Recently added angst to my list, but it's still growing : )

What are your writing weaknesses? Proofreading LOL! Drawing things out! Putting my characters through too much pain! I'm going to be so much better at it after my collab with @wearingaberetinparis because she's an actual angst genius!

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? Meh...I suppose if it makes sense, but I'd probably only bother with a language I know, otherwise, it would be quite tedious and out of place.

First fandom you wrote for? HP all the way! I haven't written or joined any other servers for other series/movies.

Favourite fic you have ever written? It's still DWOHT! LAYLOM and The Art of Identification are both up there though!

Tagging @abihastastybeans @call-me-the-cassie @jamesunderwater @ohmygodshesinsane @missgryffin

#writer fic asks #20 questions #athenasparrow #athena was tagged

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achronicleofblasphemy · 7 months

Text

Here's an excerpt of chapter 2 from my book.

📚✨Evie finds herself disillusioned at a public school dominated by fanciful tales of magical sensitivity and elvish heritage. As her peers fall for the deception, Evie reflects on the societal desire for superiority and the absurdity of the magical narratives she once embraced.🌟🧙‍♂️

“I probably couldn’t even use a Talisman. My mom has a lot of elvish on her side so I’m like super sensitive to that stuff.” A girl prattled on to her friend. Evie ate alone as she had the past three days since starting at Ward 3 – Kearns Secondary. The girl and boy next to her were in her class and never once had they uttered a word in there. Out here they wouldn’t shut the fuck up.

“Oh my god I know. Could you imagine having to carry like a big wooden staff or something? I could never.” The boy mindlessly contributed.

“Mine would be a crown.” The girl stated miming out the placement of her contradiction upon the top of her head.

“Ya, totally.” The boy agreed unsarcastically.

It had been a glorious victory for Evie to be enrolled in public school. She had worked tirelessly to be expelled from every private school her father threw at her:

Andover School of Math and Science: Mild arson in the Gym. Fucking fascists.

Rosemary Mann Academy of Arts and Letters: Slashed all the teacher’s tires in the parking lot. Damn hippies.

Fishburne Service Academy: Blackmailed the teacher to flunk her out of school. Those fuckers didn’t give up easy.

She was deeply proud of her accomplishments, but now being here she was gravely disappointed. She had hoped she might find some comradery in her fascination with Places of Power, Constructs, and the building blocks of engineering. She only found the same ignorant conversations about “magical sensitivity” and elvish heritage. These two kids didn’t even know the extent of it. The students at Andover, even Rosemary Mann, would eat them alive. The lie they so willingly believed was just another part of her family’s, and other families like hers, generational predation. It wasn’t even a good one. It was easily contested, proven to be inaccurate, and just required a modicum of dignity to overcome. It appeared to her, now most of all, that people just wanted any excuse to feel superior.

“I’m actually related to Baroness Du Kompf.” Said the girl.

“No way! That’s crazy.” The boy responded.

Evie actually knew the Du Kompfs. Or rather, had met several members of the extensive family at the stuck-up galas her parents forced her to go to.

“Excuse me, sorry, but did you say you’re related to the Du Kompfs?” Evie asked, feigning excitement to grab their attention. The girl suddenly looked uncomfortable when she realized someone besides the two of them were listening to the conversation.

“I mean, ya, but like distantly you know? She’s like my great, great, great, great aunt. Or something.” She replied with a sharp antagonized tone. The boy next to her nodded in agreement. Evie didn’t believe her, but the girl obviously wanted to be a part of the world she came from, and she was more than happy to oblige her in this life lesson.

“I went to Andover with Ari Du Kompf!” Evie exclaimed excitedly. This was true, and she liked Ari. They were friends in kindergarten and first grade. Until her father embezzled a large sum of money and they had to relocate back home to the Caspian Republic.

“You went to Andover? Why are you here?” the boy asked skeptically. Evie didn’t appreciate the newfound discernment. He’d been so willing to accept the nonsense spouted by his harebrained friend, why was her own life so unbelievable?

“I didn’t enjoy the education they offered. I wanted somewhere that focused on things like Engineering, Constructs, Points of Power and all that.” Evie replied truthfully.

The two of them looked at her as if she’d just told them she ate from the trash.

“Isn’t Andover a math and science school?” the boy asked her incredulously.

“Right, but it's more in line with corporate markets, political sciences, asset management, and stuff like that. The only time they ever really get close to something like engineering is when discussing demographic economics, and its glanced over as something other people do.” She explained. It was lost on them.

“Wait, so are your parents like rich?” The girl asked her. She recognized the hungry look of envious admiration. She despised it.

“Oh yaaaa. But wait, so, do you know Ari?” Evie replied, trying her best to match their asinine cadence. The girl nodded her head enthusiastically. Her eyes offered no spark of recognition but swallowed her whole with a covetous yearning.

“I was so sorry to hear about the accident.” Evie lied.

“Uh, oh with Ari?! I know, it’s awful.” The girl replied instantly, leaning in past her friend to get closer to Evie.

“And that poor horse, and Romero!”

“Oh my god, I know.”

“That fire went on way too long, didn’t it?”

“Riiight?”

“Dongwagler’s up in smoke, and just like, poof! No more pistachio ice cream.”

“So fucked.”

“Westminster will never be the same. I don’t even think it's worth going this season.”

“I’m not.”

“Oh my god how could you even?” the boy agreed. Evie couldn’t believe it. Nothing would stop them from trying to envelop themselves in the same bullshit that her world had convinced everyone else was true.

She wasn’t hungry, and everyone else was boring. She was going for a walk.

“Dongwagler’s? Really?” She sneered. The two of them took a moment. Upon realizing they’d been duped they sneered back at her and called her weird. They blocked her off but made sure to speak loud enough so they could hear them laughing at her.

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