#i describe it be saying oh I can’t stop doing this thing cuz it’s easier for me to say that

[painispainbeautyisbeauty]

Babe if you're voluntarily doing something, it isn't tourettes 😭

when did I ever say that I was voluntarily ticcing?

[inkandpen22]

Shared Minds and Shared Souls (1/?)

Pairing: Spike x Female!Reader

Warnings: Angst, mentions of death, swearing

Word Count: 2.9k

Story Summary: Driven by the power she posses as a witch and psychic, Y/N returns to Sunnydale to pay a visit to her family after she has a vision about Dawn. She isn’t exactly like her duty first and justice before all else cousin Buffy as Y/N follows her own rules. She offers her aid to the Scoobies during their drama with Glory. Y/N doesn’t plan to stay long until she experiences an unparalleled connection with a certain vampire from North London.

Masterlist

I never imagined myself visiting a small town like Sunnydale. I’ve lived in many places, but never California. The west coast isn’t exactly my style. For one, it’s hot. Two, the hippy-dippy happy-go-lucky attitude makes my eyes roll. Finally, Los Angeles reminds me of Celia, my cousin. Buffy, Celia, and I were inseparable as children. Dawn tried to tag-along in our make-believe games, but Buffy grew annoyed with her quickly. I haven’t been back in California in a decade for this very reason. Everything about California reminds me of a time when we were just kids. Before everything went to Hell in a hand basket. 

Blasting Green Day in front of the hospital, I park my 1967 bright red Mustang. I take a minute to collect myself before barging in. Buffy and Dawn don’t exactly know I’m coming, but there’s something I have to warn them about, something so crucial that I drove here all the way from New York. The funny part will be explaining to Buffy that I know she’s the Slayer. To her knowledge, I’m just her ordinary cousin who she hasn’t seen since we were ten. In reality, I’m a psychic witch, have been since birth. Well, I’ve been psychic since the womb, the witchy part came later. Oh, and I can’t forget seeing the dead part, I always do. That little twist comes with the psychic part. Yeah, imagine a little ten-year-old me seeing my recently deceased cousin at her funeral… fun times. It explains the whole discomfort toward California. Low-key traumatized, but all good. Any who, I should probably stop the hesitation and just head inside. 

As I stroll down the bitter cold hospital hall, I grip the leather straps of my backpack nervously. 

“Hi Buffy,” I rehearse under my breath. “You probably don’t recognize me, I’m Y/N… your cousin. It’s great to see you- God I sound so stupid!” 

I follow the signs on the wall toward the Neurology unit. Hospitals, cemeteries, funeral homes, old buildings, all great places to bump into ghosts. The things I do for family, boy do these guys owe me. 

As I turn down yet another peach colored hall- geez this place is dated- my eyes land on a familiar blonde in the waiting room at the far end. Oh great, here we go. Buffy doesn’t notice me right away, being too occupied with doting on a sleeping Dawn resting her head on her lap. I take note of the blondie boy sat beside her. I’m guessing he’s with Buffy. Good for her, a strong seven out of ten. I would rate him higher, but he’s not my type, too All-American boy-next-door. 

“Looks like I’m right on time,” I determine once I’m closer, thus making my presence known. Buffy peers up at me and her eyes widen steadily. Blondie next her looks between me and Buffy. Her surprised reaction makes him tense, I nearly assure him I’m not a threat. 

“Y/N?” She gentle shakes Dawn to wake her as she rises from her seated position. “What are you doing here?” 

“I heard about your mom… ” I explain vaguely. In truth, I saw it in a vision and a lot more beyond that, but I’ll just say my mom told me for now. 

Buffy makes long strides and warmingly embraces me. I can sense the desperation in her touch. Her ora is all out of wack. I could see the mess her colors are from yards away. It seems like I did really arrive at the perfect time. Buffy needs me now more than ever. 

“Y/N!” Dawn gasps behind us. 

Buffy and I part, her eyes stare into mine pleadingly. Yeah, we really need to have a chat. Preferably somewhere we can be frank, truly frank, no bullshit like I’m spilling right now. 

“Oh my God!” Dawn squeals, rushing down to greet me.  She squeezes me like a stress ball as she rambles on about how much she’s missed me. Then, Dawn starts to ask the tough questions as usually does. The girl has never quite had a filter. “Where have you been?”

“New York mainly,” I laugh. 

“How come you’ve never come to see us before?” She rushes out as Buffy continues to stare at me in awe. It could be she thinks she’s dreaming this. 

“Dawn, I-” 

She cuts me off, “how’s aunt Lolly? Are you college? When did you get in?”

“Dawnie!” I laugh, “I will answer all your questions, promise. We’ll catch up! For now,” I look at Buffy. “I need to have a chat with your sister…” 

The girl scoffs, rolling her eyes dramatically as she crosses her arms over her chest. “Of course, you’re for Buffy… everyone is always here for her. No ever visit me,” she grumbles. 

“I’m here for you too,” I assure Dawn. “I just… it’s important I speak with Buffy right now. It’s about something-” 

“I’m sorry, but who are you?” Blondie interrupts, his face covered with confusion. 

“I’m Y/N,” I introduce myself. “I’m Buffy and Dawn’s cousin.” 

“I’m Riley, the boyfriend,” he offers me his hand. 

Wow, quite the introduction. I’m not much of a contact-person, but this seems like the perfect opportunity to gather information on G.I. Joe. As I shake his hand, I’m able to visualize memories and emotions from him. They come as flashes before my eyes. I hear his thoughts, see through his eyes, and feel what he’s felt. All I see Buffy, moments they’ve had. At first, pleasure and immense happiness consumes my head. Then, it’s replaced with doubt and self-deprecation. The obsession with Buffy is replaced with desperate longing. He feels her slipping. 

My visual is cut-off when Riley removes his hand. I’m brought back to current moment, surrounded by chaos of the hospital. 

Dawn frowns, curiosity etched across her features. “What’s so important that you had to come all the way? Does it have to do with Mom?”

“You came all the way from New York?” A male voice questions behind me. 

What is this an interrogation? The sooner someone tells me where Buffy is the sooner I can head back home. Believe me, I don’t want to be here longer than I have to be. I glance over my shoulder, Willow and Xander stare at me in confusion. We’ve never met, but I know of them, the visions. I’ve been keeping tabs on Buffy and the family since… well… since Buffy became the Slayer. 

“Yes,” I answer Xander directly. Turning back to Buffy, I not so discretely tell her it’s urgent. “Please, Buff, do you have minute? I know this isn’t exactly opportune but-” 

“Of course,” she swallows hard. “We can uh… we can talk outside. There’s a courtyard just over there,” she gestures down the hall. 

“I’m coming with,” Riley declares next to her. 

“I’m sorry, is your name Buffy?” I sass, much to his frustration. “What am I going to do her? She’s my cousin. I’m only borrowing her for a second, then you can toss the leash back on her.” 

“Y/N…” Buffy mutters for me to stop. 

Riley narrows his eyes at me- oof, I’m real scared now! While I giggle at her boyfriend’s expense as the two of us start down the hall. I’ve missed Buffy, we used to be like two peas in-a-pod. Once all this drama I’ve seen in her future is over, perhaps we can be close again. I refuse to settle in Sunnydale though. At least we have phones and email. 

Once outside, and we’re certain we’re alone, Buffy cuts to the chase. “Not that I’m not happy you’re here, Y/N, I am but, why are you here?” She hasn’t changed a bit.

I snicker, peering up at the sky as the sun it starting to set. Gosh, I hate the day. That sounds weird because what human hates daytime, but I do. I’m much more… in tune with myself when it’s night time. I thrive off the moonlight and stars. The sun and its rays are hot, too hot. I like the cold and darkness of night. 

“Fine, let’s get right to it,” I smirk at my cousin wickedly. Reaching into my back pocket, I pull out my pack of cigarettes, feeling a bit anxious. “You mind?” I ask her, not really caring but figure I should check. 

Timidly, she shakes her head. Her arms are securely crossed in front of her as she watches me take a smoke. “Those things will kill you,” she advices the cookie-cutter phrase. 

“So can a car accident, yet we still drive,” I remark with sass. “What’s life without a little risk?” I wink. 

Buffy shifts on her feet as her jaw clenches. Her aura is shifting again, Black to red, I’ve never seen someone change on a dime so fast. That’s change is funny, she’s either angry or afraid of me, maybe both. I can’t blame her, I’m not exactly a Care Bear. My black and red attire doesn’t scream comforting. 

“Then again, you would know all about death, right Cuz?” I suggest subtly. 

Her eyes lock with mine and I start to see the wheels turning her head. ‘Does she know? How could she?’ She’s likely thinking to herself. One touch and I could hear for certain what she’s thinking. 

“What are you talking about?” She mumbles, barely meeting my eye. 

I scoff, tossing my head back, why can’t this be easier? You know what, fine! Growing impatient, I hold my hand out, palm to the sky. “Light,” I verbalize and within seconds a bright orb floats above my palm. 

Buffy stares at my magic stunned. Yeah, I was sort of expecting that kind of reaction. 

“How… How…” She stutters. 

“If you’d like a mini bolt of lighting I can do that too,” I offer. “I kind of prefer them, far more powerful!” 

She doesn’t share in my excitement as she slowly steps closer still in awe. “You’re a witch?” 

“Yep!” I smile, rather proud. “Have been for a while now, gotten pretty good at it too, not to brag or anything…” 

“So…” Buffy continues to process everything. “You know about demons, vampires-” 

I hum, “all of it. Including that you’re the Slayer, congrats by the way! Fun shit,” I compliment with a snicker. 

“Not exactly how I’d describe it,” she mutters defeatedly, her eyes still on the orb. 

Closing my fist, the orb disappears and I place my hand on Buffy’s shoulder. Her eyes meet mine solemnly. 

“How long have you known?” She asks unfazed. 

“Since forever,” I answer truthfully. “Sorry I never called or have come to help. I’ve sort of been cheering for ya from the sidelines. In all honesty, I’ve been away perfecting my magic with a coven. I’ve met some pretty interesting people along the way, all dazzled when they find out I’m related to the Slayer,” I gush. 

She pays no mind to my compliments, still in a daze. “Does anyone know? Does your dad?” 

I shake my head and sternly tell her, “he can never know! He thinks I’ve been away at school in Boston. In truth, I’ve been in New York with a coven.” 

Buffy nods in understanding, though I know Joyce is aware of the supernatural world. My mom could never handle it. “Did you come all the way here to tell me that?” 

Okay, here’s the hard part, the real hard part! I finish my cigarette, pondering the last relaxing bit of it before tossing it to the ground. “Okay, so here’s the deal,” I begin. “There’s a this big nasty bitch I’ve seen in my visions- I see visions by the way-” I add in passing, having forgotten it. Then, I remember I can’t forget the ghosties bit. “Anyway, you’ve already bumped into her, Glory. Yeah, she’s a real charmer from what I can see. I’m here to help because based on my visions, she’s kicking your asses.” 

I leave out a crucial bit of information, a part of the visions I’m not sure I can share. One important thing about being a psychic is not changing fate. As much as I want to tell Buffy everything, I know I can’t, not if I don’t want to mess with the world. 

“So, you’re here to help us stop Glory?” She clarifies. 

“It gets real fucked at some points,” I tell her, hoping that doesn’t reveal too much. 

“And I take it you know about Dawn…” she insinuates. 

I nod my head slowly, “you mean that she’s The Key? Then yes, I do. She’s about as human as the Teletubbies, but of course I won’t mention that to her. Who all knows?” 

“As of right now, me and Giles. He’s my Watcher,” she explains. “Did you already know that?” She’s catches on quickly. 

“Kinda…” I answer hesitantly. “Sorry if that’s weird. I’ve tried not to pry with my visions. If it makes you feel better, I didn’t know who Riley was! He mustn’t have been around the last time I checked in!” 

“When was the last time you… ya know… checked in?” She asks, unsure of how to phrase it. 

“Well, I’ve been away with the coven. I joined them right after high school, so I suppose it was when you started at UC Sunnydale. I know all about Willow and Xander, they seem nice from what I’ve seen. Angel, his in-and-out appearance in my visions was confusing for a while until I realized he was doing that in real life too,” I laugh.

“So you saw all of the Spike drama and my mom finding out about me too?” She asks. 

I frown, I saw Joyce learning about Buffy and that whole conversion, but I’ve never heard of a Spike. Based on my expression, Buffy predicts the answer. 

“Spike is the biggest pain in my ass,” she groans. “He and Angel used to be all vampy together. Then, Angel gained a soul and Spike got worse from what I’ve gathered. He’s killed two Slayers, so we’re not exactly friends. We met when he tried to kill me. He’ll show up and leave again, kinda like Angel but less helpful. Except now, he’s acting all infatuated with me and sticking around.” 

I snicker, “oof, so you have a psychotic vampire lusting after you? How did I miss this?!” 

Buffy rolls her eyes, “believe me, it’s not fun.”  

“Is he hot?” I inquire, always interested in a troubled bad-boy type. 

She stares at me with narrowed eyes of disapproval and scoffs, “oh my God… never ask me that again.” 

 “He must’ve showed up and gone between visions,” I determine. “I wasn’t able to check in much after you started at UC. Which reminds me, your roommate Kathy- not a fan of her,” I confess with a bit of humor. 

“Turned out to be a demon,” Buffy explains, much to my surprise. 

I gasp, “no way! Ugh, I saw you move-in, some interactions here and there, but that’s about it. I knew there was something up with her!” 

Buffy laughs, actually smiling for the first time since our reunion. It feels great having someone know I’m a witch who isn’t a witch themselves. Being away in New York with the coven was great and utterly freeing. They were the first people who I showed my true self to. Now, finally, someone I care about knows the real me. I have so much more to share with her! 

Buffy takes my hand gently, “I’m really glad you’re here. Lately… lately things have been more difficult than I could’ve ever imagined,” she confesses, swallowing back her tears and looks at the ground. “With Mom and protecting Dawn, I’m not sure I can do it all on my own. I mean, I have my friends, Giles, and Riley but…” she meets my gaze, tears puddling in her eyes. “I needed you, I just didn’t quite know it. I needed my other sister,” she weeps. 

Immediately, I pull Buffy into my chest and hug her tightly. I should’ve come sooner. I should’ve felt Buffy’s pain. I guess I was so caught up with the coven and I forgot to check on her, so I missed the signs. I’m here now, that’s all that matters. Now, I can help. Seeing Buffy so upset makes my blood boil. Anyone who fucks with my family gets knocked off this planet, which means Glory has another coming at her in the form of a powerful witch. 

__________________________

Masterlist 

[buccigang-headcanons]

La Squadra Backstories!!!! Stream of consciousnesss style!

So literally I just sat down and wrote down exactly what I thought. I have not edited these at all lmaooo. But I made long drawn out backstories for our underrated assassins so enjoy!!

T/W + C/W - idk I talk about people dying in a lot of ways. Child abuse, drugs, severe illness, dead cats. This stuff is a mess I really didn’t censor it. But nothing is described in detail cuz I’m too lazy for that.

————

Prosciutto cuz he’s at the top of my mind. Mmkay he and Pesci are brothers but not by blood. Pro was an orphan, I still wanna make him Russian, and pesci’s extremely kind and gentle family adopted him when he was like 7. They were like literally a garden catalogue family. Perfection. The parents died when pro was like 15, Pesci was 13?? Idk the age difference I’m just making shit up now. And Pesci had no fucking idea what to do, they didn’t have any other family, and pro was like “I’m still basically a hardened criminal from living on the streets of russia most of my childhood, so joining the local mafia should be a piece of cake”. It was.

Risotto..... fuck it. Polpo is risottos dad. I’ve seen that so much and fuck it I’m here for it now. Idk how I feel about the whole Mariah from part 3 being his mom that seems too coincidental. But either way, he is half Spanish. I don’t think he’s ever been in touch with his Spanish roots at all, but that’s what he is. Polpo had too much fun on vacay in Spain. But it was a once night stand and polpo, a skinny king back in the mid 70s, fucked off to do mafia stuff and didn’t know about this kid. Risotto never knew his father. Time goes by, about the time he’s 10, rizzo’s mom moves to Italy to find the man she once loved. Since the 70s, she has been married and divorced 4 times, disowned by her entire family, and she speaks only of Polpo, the man who swept her off her feet and then disappeared into the night. Leaving only this child with his matching eyes. So they live in Italy, risotto is about 13 now and his mom has been searching seriously for polpo for about 3 years. One day, she gets too close, mafia takes her out. Risotto is all alone in a country he has lived in for less than 3 years. So he decides to take revenge against the mafia. He goes to hunt them down. (I’m too lazy to write out how. Gets a gun. Basically the scene in part 5 where the kid is like “you killed my father and now I’m gonna kill you!!” But he chickens out???) yeah except rizzo didn’t chicken out, he stood firm and killed 2 of them. The other 2 surrendered, and immediately asked rizzo to take polpos test. He did. And he unknowingly met his father, the man his mother had died looking for. He stared into his fathers eyes, black sclera reflecting each other, and passed his test with ease.

Wowwwwwwwww alrighty then that was something. Let’s shake out those jitters because fuck that was intense and let’s move onto some happy shit.

Melone!! Always a bottle of joy. He was a phenomenal student, a perfect child. Perfect grades, perfect attitude, perfect looks. Onlyyyy tiny thing is he murdered cats and buried their heads in the back yard. But that was his only flaw. Aaaaaaaand mayyybe trying to use his extensive knowledge of molecular biology and genetics (even at as young as 11) to asexually breed said cats.

But, apart from that, absolutely perfect specimen of a young boy. And he kept that up until college. Until the rape accusation. Melone had no interest in having sex with her, he swore under oath in open court, he only wanted to “extract her essence” in the hopes of making her amazing genetics stay pure for centuries.

Due to his previously amazing school record, he was allowed to plead not guilty by reason of insanity (because the justice system is bullshit) and was released to his parents. During this whole process, Melone’s mother had begun to grow suspicious of her son, wondering if there was something wrong with him. This led her to explore the crawl space under the garage, more commonly known as “Melone’s childhood laboratory”. The cat skulls alone were enough to set her off. They allowed him into their home long enough to fool the court, but parole officers don’t pay attention, and they kicked him to the curb a month later. Broke, alone, and with no real skills other than his genius mind and gorgeous body, he became a prostitute. It was only a few months before he wandered up to a gigantic white haired man with angry eyes and asked if he wanted a date. Instead of declining, our good ol rizzo just knocked him out cold and brought him home. The rest is history. Literally because I can’t think of what would happen between that and Melone joining the mafia. I assume he was just their house pet for a little while before he decided he wanted a stand too.

Oh good lord these are getting insane. Better keep going. Okay I have no idea what’s about to come out of my head for ghia but oh Lordy. Might as well start. Ghiaccio wasn’t always quite as angry, but it’s actually gonna be a sweet story. Kinda. He used to act perfect, even tho he always felt the anger inside. He was forced to bottle it up and put on a happy exterior always. His mother was Belgian. (From experience, Belgian mothers (Flemish in particular) will beat you until your ass is raw if you talk back). Italian father, they lived in italy. He had 4 sisters, he was the middle child of 5. Around high school, he started acting out. Of course this was due to all of his bottled up anger from the past 15 years. 4 shattered sinks, 16 holes in the drywall, and one classroom fire later, Ghiaccio was expelled from school. His parents were too busy brimming with joy about the success of all his sisters that they didn’t take much notice to him. “If you’re going to behave in such a manner you might as well leave” his mother said. She was past the point of caring enough to beat him. So he left. 16 and with no where to go, he wandered the streets. After a year or so, Ghia had gotten used to that life, and was angry at everyone, sometimes when he wasn’t even angry. Anger had become his coping mechanism. Screaming was easier than talking. Until one day, he screamed at a blonde man in an intersection. Prosciutto was driving back to the squads hang out, boxes of takeout in the back seat of the car. He had chosen to not stop at the red light, just for fun, and nearly ran into our blue haired teenager. Ghia proceeded to cuss him out for a good 4 minutes in the middle of this intersection before pro cut him off. “Get in the back. “ he said, with his own special brand of brotherly love. “I know how you can put that anger to good use”. Ghiaccio, having no real reason to object, got in the back seat. Prosciutto was silent the rest of the drive and Ghiaccio yelled about all the take out food, now splattered on the backs of the seats due to the sudden slam on the brakes.

Y’all I don’t even remember the other la squadra members. Let’s do sorbet/gelato because they have zero backstory or personality so I can just ramble. *Clears throat* let’s begin. These fuckers. Friends since birth. Grew up together, always really close. They were both dirt poor, but because the only school nearby was a decent public school, when were able to slightly experience middle class living. They liked it. They wanted to see upper class, and once they did, they wanted to be there. These two were money grubbing bffs, I’m talking josuke and okuyasu, but like waaaaay more intense and also violent. They both left home around 14, together of course. Gelatos father had left them a few years prior, and his family were on the brink of starvation. Figuring they didn’t need another mouth to feed (and completely abandoning his post as family patriarch lol) he left with sorbet, who’s family had all died in various ways over the years. Most recently, his older sister being taken by some illness that was probably easily treatable, but with no means for a doctor, she died in days. The boys left home and school, and made a living by pickpocketing tourists and occasionally launching into larger heists. They made a decent living for themselves, but eventually started spending their money on drugs. It’s was sorbet first, heroin was really good to him for awhile. Gelato was against it, knowing it was the reason sorbets family had been so poor to begin with. His father was an addict, and despite holding down a job fairly well, spent all his earnings on drugs. Eventually he became too dependent, lost his job, and OD’d. But around this same time, when the boys were 16/17, they were starting to realize their feelings for each other. Confused teenaged minds full of budding love led to Gelato giving in, and soon their days were filled with heroin fueled ecstatic sex. They lived like this for awhile, existing in half reality, until one day they chose to set their pickpocketing targets on a short man with close cropped gray hair. The plan was perfect, sorbet bumped into the man and gelato passed by to grab his wallet, and suddenly they were the size of mere ants. In an instant, they were returned to size, left to wonder if it was real or just a hallucination from long term drug use. But they didn’t run. Formaggio introduced himself, with a loose handshake and a pause to spit out some tobacco, and promptly invited them to a “party”. Although, Formaggio was honest in his promise, this party did have drugs.

Cheese boys turn!! Seriously who am I forgetting??? Illuso my mirror man! Am I forgetting someone else too?? Idk. But shut up Kel it’s cheese boys turn.

So. Formaggio. Probably the most chill childhood. Lower middle class, pretty average, but he was quite gifted with sports. Soccer was his main, and also a fantastic competitive swimmer. (Okay I have a separate hc that Bruno is really good at soccer so hol horse up a moment so I can imagine those 2 playing soccer together in friendly competition. In my lil au where Bruno is in la squadra because I say BruPro exes rights please and thanks.) but anyway, he got really good at soccer and was offered a scholarship to play at a fancy pants private high school when he was 14. Of course his parents made him go, this has been the family’s dream for years, and formaggio’s as well. So high school is amazing, he’s starting to attract attention from universities even tho he’s barely in grade 11 by this point. And it’s all really amazing until he realizes. This isn’t what he wants. And it’s just that. He doesn’t want to play soccer anymore, he doesn’t want to potentially be famous. He just wants to be a kid. So he leaves school, he leaves home, he wants to start over. And he wanders into a diner and sees this small group of weirdly dressed men. At this point, it’s rizzo, pro, Pesci, and ghia. And he’s staring at them because they’re dressed like circus clowns but their aura is so murderous. And then the one who looks like a giant pineapple starts staring back. Pesci gets up and walks over to Formaggio. “I know you! You’re that amazing kid soccer player!!” And he just goes on and on about shit he read in the news (70% of it was false) until pro comes over and yanks his idiot brother away. Pro starts asking Formaggio questions, thinking he could be a good target. Stupid little rich kid. But to prosciuttos surpise, Formaggio is just a down to earth kid with no more money to his name than he needs to pay for this meal. Prosciutto takes him home after that. He doesn’t really offer any explanation.

(The rambling at the beginning of this paragraph actually happened lol so I paused for like 4 hrs oops)

Alright we are back. Had to leave to go to therapy and then scream at my mother and cry to my boyfriend but we are ready to go! Illuso and I really hope he’s the last one and I’m not forgetting one. Illuso was raised in an orphanage from infancy. No idea who his parents could even be. Fun fact: one of the nuns at the orphanage (cuz it’s an orphanage in Italy in 1980, they’re catholic.) nicknamed him Illuso because he was always pointing at things that weren’t there. As a tiny baby and a child, he would always be looking at things no one else can see (yes illuso is a natural stand user fight me). The nuns called him illuso as an insult, hoping to shame him into stopping. He never did. When he outgrew the orphanage, he decided to join the priesthood. He was 19, a priest in training, when the mafia came to the orphanage. They were collecting, and illuso knew they didn’t have the money this month. He tried to talk the mobsters down, but that went about as well as planned. 4 bullets to the chest, 3 open heart surgeries, and half a dozen resuscitations later, Illuso was released from the hospital. The orphanage had been shut down, and no one knew what had happened to the children or the nuns. With no where to go, illuso knew of one place that could use talents like his. The talents of steadily stealing money from the starving children of the church for a decade. It was during polpos test that illuso’s stand manifested. Not due to the arrow, but to protect its user from the other stand. Illuso was able to avoid Black Sabbath by hiding in his newfound mirror world until it was time to return the lighter to polpo (kinda cowardly but whatever.) he was assigned to risottos group by chance and was the last to join excluding Melone. But they loved him as if they had found him themselves.

[gaymortagokat]

Sleepover at Camp Jupiter

Read the whole collection here

Reyna's place was quiet. Aurum and Argentum laid in front of the couch curled up together. While their owner sat on the couch reading The Great Gatsby while her girlfriend sat on her lap. A pastel blanket laid over them. It was an addition from Drew. Since her and Reyna began dating Drew would add or recommend things to make Reyna's place more homey. 

They've been together for a little over a year now. Drew graduated  from high school a week ago and will be attending UC Berkeley to study psychology and art. Reyna noticed how great Drew is at helping people believe in themselves and suggested she do something with that. And Drew ran with that idea deciding to become an art therapist, though she isn't sure if she wants to specialize in child psychology and development yet. 

Drew pointed at a line of text. "Remember this, Reyna."

"Why? It's just a billboard?"

Drew turned to look at her girlfriend. "It's important if it was written in here. And it's a symbol of something mortals can't see. The eyes are judgmental like Hera."

Reyna nodded. "Juno isn't all that bad. What do you mean it's a symbol of something mortals can't see?"

"It's kind of like love. You can't physically see it. You can see it in things but you can't see it in things."

"Unless you've met Venus."

"Hmm. I guess so. But speaking of Venus she's a god. We can't see her true form just like mortals can't see the person in the billboard."

"So the billboard is a god judging American's."

"Capital 'g', Reyna. Fitzgerald is probably talking about the Christian god."

"And this Christian god doesn't like what Americans are doing."

"Yes that's what many readers believe."

"Does everything in this book have dual meanings?"

"No. I've found that only things that show up throughout or are highly detailed compared to others are symbols. Like if a detail is emphasized."

"So is the car a symbol?"

"Not sure. I know the billboard is because a teacher told me it was. Let's continue reading." 

Reyna nodded and looked back at the book. 

They continued reading occasionally pausing for discussion. Drew was the one who began these reading sessions. Reyna loved reading. It was how she grasped a better understanding of English. She has a high reading level despite reading mostly comic books. Because of this Drew decided to introduce Reyna to some classics and had created at least a page long list of literature she added to every few weeks. 

They started with names Reyna knew like Plato and Homer. They read The Allegory of the Cave and pieces of The Odyssey where Reyna told her Circe no longer turns men into pigs but animals occasionally less smelly and easier to manage, Guinea pigs. She Also told her that Percy made a very cute Guinea pig. Drew wished Reyna had the opportunity to take a picture.

A knock on the door interrupted their quiet weekend. Reyna's dogs ears perked up and their ruby eyes turned towards the door watching to see if the person behind the door was a threat.

A key slipped into the lock and Reyna groaned. "I should have never given her a key."

"Who?"

"Your sister."

"Pretend we didn't notice?"

"Of course." 

They returned to their book as the door opened. College aged Piper, Jason, Leo, Percy, and Annabeth walked in carrying bags for an impromptu sleepover (even though Percy and Annabeth live in New Rome and see Reyna nearly every day) with Nico.

"Why does Nick always describe Gatsby that way?"

"Cuz he's gay."

"Isn't the author straight?"

"Was anyone straight in the roaring 20's? When swing music existed and women wore more revealing clothing, smoked in public, cut their hair, and everyone lived in excess?"

Piper coughed.

Reyna looked up at her friends (except Leo he was still on thin ice). Percy looked like he just rolled out of bed sporting a five o' clock shadow while his girlfriend looked like she had been up for hours. Piper was as gorgeous as always wearing skinny jeans, a loose shirt, light sweater and vans. Jason looked like Annabeth, but he had done a better job at brushing his hair (his straight hair is easier to manage than Annabeth's curls), and much to Reyna's annoyance, Jason still had the rivet in his hair from the bullet Percy's brother fired at him. Jason had kept his hair trimmed like that for two years now. Reyna, Piper, Drew, and Nico were tempted to shave his hair while he slept. Nico wore the jacket Will gave him on their first Christmas together, and his mirrored sunglasses hung from the pocket. He had gotten a haircut. The sides of his hair did not touch his ears, but the top that he left long would in a few weeks. Leo looked exactly the same as he did two years ago with scorch marks on his fingers and arms and small bandages one a few of his fingers.

"Hey, what's up?"

"I wanna say that they made me come."

Reyna smiled at her little brother. 

"Oh come on Nico. It's not like we had to force you." Jason said putting his arm around the fifteen year old who now reached his eyes. 

"Friday night sleepover." Piper said. "We always have them."

"One, no we don't. It's more like twice a month. Two shouldn't most of you be at some college party? Three it's Wednesday."

"So we're a little early." She answered sitting on the only empty spot on the couch. 

"Percy and I did all our homework that's due tomorrow early." Annabeth added taking a seat at Piper's feet with Percy close behind. She petted Aurum behind the ear muttering something about them being a good dog.

Nico sat on the other side of Reyna's dogs while Jason and Leo sat in front of him. Well, Leo sat closer to Percy than Nico. Reyna's dogs weren't his biggest fans and had no problems making it obvious to him.

"What piece of literature do you have Reyna reading this time, Drew?" Jason asked, adjusting his glasses like they would help him see the page better.

"Gatsby. We're almost done with this page. Do you mind being quiet for a few more minutes." Drew didn't wait for an answer; she turned all her attention to the small book.

Leo struggled to stay quiet. He kept opening his mouth to say something then quickly close it. He distracted himself the best he could by planning out the most fun night ever. First some of the greatest movies ever paired with the best snacks and drinks. Did Reyna even have the best snacks?

Leo didn't stay on that thought long. As soon as he heard the book close he spoke. "Okay! What movie does everyone want to watch." He dug through his bag. "I've got 50 First Dates, The Nanny Diaries, Love Actually-"

"Leo, I love you. But I don't think anyone wants to watch romcoms."

"What do you have in mind, Pipes?"

"Horror, action, thriller."

"Horror sounds fun." Nico stated.

"As long as no one throws their popcorn on me I'm good." Drew added. 

"Reyna, got any horror movies?"

"The Sixth Sense, maybe Friday the 13th."

After a bit of arguing they settled on The Sixth Sense. The boys minus Nico prepared snacks. Nico and Annabeth made the hardwood floor more comfortable by adding a quilt Reyna had buried in a closet and laying out the blankets everyone brought. 

Snacks were finished and everyone ended up with their own container. Nico with popcorn and chocolate chips, Jason with popcorn and m&m's, Annabeth with popcorn and butter fingers, Percy with blue m&m's, Piper with sour gummy bears, and Reyna and Drew sharing Jelly Beans and sour straws. Drew had made Piper make sure Aurum and Argentum had a plate with a few dog treats and marshmallows, and Nico had tossed a blanket over them.

As the movie played Leo Jason Percy and occasionally Annabeth yelled at the characters on screen. Piper occasionally stated behind the scenes facts. 

During a particularly tense moment, Piper, realizing her hands were cold, poked her sister's foot that was barely out of the blanket making her yelp and Piper roar with laughter.

"Gods-damn it Piper!"

Piper waited a few minutes then did it again. Then a third time. 

"Piper." Reyna warned.

"Alright, alright." She scooted closer to the arm of the couch and waited. 

She looked over at Reyna and Drew. Drew was watching the movie one hand on the bowl of candy and the other on Reyna's, but Reyna on the other hand was watching Piper. She shook her head slowly with a slight glare. Drew, feeling Reyna move, looked up at Reyna then at Piper mimicking the Puerto Rican's glare.

Piper glared back then looked away pretending to barf. They were almost disgustingly cute.

A few minutes later she scared Drew again this time receiving a harsh kick.

"Ow! What was that for?" Piper yelped, rubbing her arm. 

"I didn't kick you that hard." 

"You totally did, Reyna."

Not even Reyna kicking her was enough to stop her. She tried one more time to scare Drew. This time she was unsuccessful.

"Hermanito." Reyna said. 

And suddenly Piper was freezing then she found herself on the floor. She looked at the couch where she was once sitting and found Nico curled up with the darkness partially swirling around him. Actually, the dark in the entire room seemed to be moving as if Nico was making the room appear as dark as it did when she was afraid of it.

Piper settled in her new spot petting the nearest dog. 

It was towards the end of the second movie when Drew tried scaring Piper. It worked only once. Piper nearly jumped out of her seat surprising Jason and Percy who were way more afraid of the movie than they let on.

Beginning of the third movie was when Reyna began to mess with Piper. She used a bit of magic she picked up from Circe and tried to make it feel like a spider was walking on her. It worked for a few moments then Piper figured it out and began ignoring the sensation. 

Reyna switched tactics. She poked Aurum with her foot who pressed their cold nose into Piper's side hitting her ticklish spot. 

Piper pressed her palm against the dog's nose and turned it's head away. "I know that was you, Reyna."

"I don't control their every move."

"Oh please. They would do whatever you asked."

Reyna opened her mouth to respond when Drew silenced her. "Ssshhhh. We're at the good part."

Reyna kissed her head and returned to watching the comedy. The older boys insisted on one happy movie to negate the scary before bed.

By the time the movie watching session ended Reyna was sitting between her girlfriend and her best friend/little brother. And both of them were nearly asleep on her shoulders.

"Nico, it's time for bed."

Nico nodded, sitting up and gathering his blanket. A second later he disappeared into the shadows and probably into Reyna's guest room / home office. 

"Nico gone?"

"Sí, Amor. It's time for bed." Reyna told her standing up. She offered Drew her hand.

Her girlfriend shook her head. "Too tired. Carry me?"

Reyna smiled while rolling her eyes. "Alright." She picked up Drew with ease (something that made Jason and especially Percy jealous) and walked to her room. Aurum and Argentum followed, nudging the door open as they got closer. 

Reyna set Drew down carefully. It wasn't the right moment to drop her on the bed. They were both too tired for the game that would begin if she did.

Reyna moved to the door and locked it. 

"What kind of pajamas do you want today?" She asked, grabbing her own.

"I'm good."

Reyna turned around and saw her gorgeous girlfriend sitting on her bed shirtless. Today had been a stay at home no bra necessary day. Reyna looked down briefly and felt her cheeks grow warm. She put her pajamas away and joined Drew on the bed. 

Drew kissed Reyna tugging on the edges of her shirt. “You don’t need this.”

Reyna let her pull her band tee (courtesy of Thalia) over her head. “What do you want to do?”

Drew ignored her and tugged at her shorts. “You don’t need these.”

Reyna slipped them off and tossed them aside. “What do you want to do?”

Drew rested against Reyna. “I’m too tired to want to do anything, but I’m too awake to sleep.”

Reyna turned off the lamp and rested her hand on Drew’s stomach. The pair laid down, and Reyna kissed Drew’s shoulder. “Thank you, for reading with me today.”

“No problem, Amore. I love reading. Especially with you.”

“What would you like to do tomorrow?”

“Walk on the beach?”

“Alright.” Reyna kissed Drew’s shoulder once more. “Want to go swimming?”

“Sounds nice.” Drew said quietly. “Hey, why did Annabeth say she and Percy had finished their homework early? Isn’t it summer?”

“It is. Annabeth convinced Percy to take a few summer classes so their schedule can be lighter during the year and they can graduate a bit early.”

“What is Percy studying again?”

“He started with Marine biology, but he realized it was going to be a lot of science. I think he’s doing physical therapy now and keeping Marine Biology as a minor.”

“Physical therapy?”

“Yeah. Annabeth showed him a video of a pool being used as part of someone’s therapy. He’s been interested ever since. That and he can heal using water.”

“I guess pool is not a bad thing to smell like.”

"Neither is the beach."

"Think we can leave everyone else out?"

"Maybe every one but Nico and Will."

"Will isn't here."

"For now. Nico will probably go get him to avoid being a third wheel."

"Double dates are fun."

"Glad you think so."

Reyna kissed Drew's shoulder blade and pulled her closer. She breathed in her scent noticing Drew's perfume and sweat. Reyna settled down more and closed her eyes and fell asleep. 

As soon as Drew trusted Reyna wouldn't wake up at the slightest movement she changed positions to face her gorgeous girlfriend. She also moved Reyna's arm so she wouldn't be laying on it. Reyna often let her sleep on her arm only to later wake up because the limb had become painfully asleep. Then she settled down draping an arm across Reyna's ribs. Her fingers traced an old injury. She didn't know the story behind the scar but trusted one day Reyna would tell her.

She spent the next few minutes trying to relax enough to fall asleep. She loved snuggling with her girlfriend, but said girl was always a furnace. Don't get her wrong, she felt incredibly lucky to have someone as amazing as Reyna. She would have never expected to be this happy a year ago, and yet here she was laying with the hottest girl ever. 

She adjusted the blanket so her feet would stick out and settled back down.

She was nearly asleep when a whimper startled her awake. She lifted her head and spotted the source. Two sets of glowing ruby eyes were watching her. "Come on." She whispered.

Given permission the two fully grown greyhounds jumped on the queen bed. The siblings spun around a several times (accidently hitting each other a few times) and plopped down laying on the teens' feet.

The cold metal was too cold for comfort; Drew pulled her feet out from under the dog and instead lowered the blanket uncovering her shoulders. Drew relaxed once more and fell asleep.

[slashingdisneypasta]

Jason Voorhees x Reader || Oneshot

Title: I Wouldn't Fit In That World Anymore. I Want This One

Notes: 

·         This is post FVSJ and also links to the comic where Bubba and Jason meet ^^

·         I just really wanted some Jason hugs today!! 

Plot: Lots and lots of Jason fluff. A liiitle angst concerning a ‘normal life’, but the reader wants Jason. So really it just makes way for more fluff! 

Warnings: None that I can think of

~~~

 “So, um… Jason?” Okay, enough of this. I can’t just sit here and weave a basket with Jason sitting right across from me, and not say it anymore. It’s a skill, to be able to guilt trip someone without even knowing it, without even the ability to speak, but Jason has it. He looks up from his carving, which is starting to look a bit like a fish now. I look back down at my basket-in-progress and run a hand over the prickly, smooth strands. We like creative, hands-on activities, we do. “So, um… “Ah, repetition. Intelligent. “The other day… well, you know how I told you a guy was annoying me lately? Talking to me a lot at work and trying to tag along with me to work outings and shopping trips I told him about?”

Of course, he remembers and makes a nodding movement, focused on me. I look back down at the basket again. “Well, he uh… I can’t believe I didn’t notice it before, he always sits way too close to me but I just figured he had personal space issues, you know? Like Bubba. But.” I take a deep breath in through my nose, slowly. Raising my shoulders high and look disapprovingly at my basket. “It turns out he liked me… as, more then a friend. You know.” Like how you feel about me. But, of course I don’t need to say that. He’s intelligent, he knows. You can tell by the way he stills even more then he already was, with his not-breathing and all. He doesn’t freak out or anything though, doesn’t move to get up and pick up his machete, or clench his fists. He waits for more information from me, and I’m thankful for it. “And he asked me out.”

I peak up at him to see his reaction, hoping to not catch his gaze because then I know I’ll panic and start talking nonsense and in this situation, which is telling a killer that loves you that someone else tried something with you, would be a huge mistake. With Jason, its much better to be clear and simple. And repetitive. “I said no. I didn’t want to be with him, because he’s nothing like you and I love you. Not that anyone, even a carbon copy could beat you out, at all. But… I said no. I didn’t have any interest. I love you. I just thought you might want to know, cuz we’re in a… a mature, relationship and all.”

His stiffness goes away after a few more agonising moments of silence, and staring-into-eyes and he turns back to his carving. After brushing away some dust with his thumb, he looks back up at me and nods, lifting the awkwardness from the air, but not from my heart. I still have more to say… but I’m still debating saying it. For a few more minutes, maybe an hour, we go back to what we were doing. Him creating, me methodically weaving the straw and planning out what I would say, if I said it.

As he gets up, having finished his fish and put in the ground between us so he can stare at it for a little longer, deciding if it needed anymore touches or maybe imagining it being a real fish, or maybe thinking something completely separate from sea life because who knows what goes through Jason Voorhees’ mind, I move and nearly call him back to say what I was planning. I even let go of the basket and reach for his hand, but I stop myself a millisecond later and jolt back to an awkward position holding the finished handle of my creation. My heart beating fast and hard in my chest.

I want to be honest with him… and I do trust him. I trust him with my life, and my random thoughts, and so much more… But above all I trust his loyalty… that often times is in the middle of a Venn diagram of loyalty and possession. I know, if I tell him this last part that’s been on my mind, there is a good 70 percent chance that he’ll take it the wrong way and do something rash, like when he went to Manhatten. He’s capable of anything, really, and that is what I’m afraid of.

Or… well, that’s 50 percent of what I’m logically worried about. The other half of me is more concerned with his feelings. It would kill me to hurt them. Jason’s like a huge puppy and telling him this might be like kicking this giant puppy.

Deciding to wait and think on it for a little bit more, at least until my heart stops beating so fast that my fingers shake and my skin goes pale, Jason safely makes it to the kindling and starts cutting it up for the fire later tonight.

When its about 7, and the fire is lit and bright in the front yard-or… what I call the front yard. Really, it’s the clearing in front of his cabin, - and finally push myself towards him to say it. I leave the cabin and find him on the porch, watching the flames. They dance in his eyes, and I interrupt his thoughts by sitting comfortably, sideways in his lap and leaning my head onto his shoulder. Immediately he looks down, assesses the situation silently and moves his arms to make me more comfortable. I sigh. “So, you remember what I told you earlier?”

I feel him nod, above me. But instead of looking at each other, we look at the fire. Its so hot that even from here I can feel it, and its so bright that the orange light touches our forms. “There was more that I wanted to tell you. Because… well, I like to tell you things. And because you deserve to know.” I turn to wrap my arms securely around him and press my face into his jacket, probably alerting him to the fact that this new thing might be bad but I don’t care. I definitely don’t look up when I feel him look down at the top of my head. “I thought about saying yes.” I whisper. “For a moment, I pictured a life with him. Or, really, any normal guy with a… a nine to five job and a tie who wants 2.5 kids and a picket fence.” He’s so nice to cuddle. So round and strong and cuddly. It makes this easier to push out. “How I could… I could say yes, and still get what I thought I would get all my life before meeting you. A normal family, with people like me. To raise a baby the way I always said I would, not like my parents. And for a second it… it was exciting. I even half wanted it.”

He goes stiff again, and I nearly panic again. I want to tell him immediately that I’m kidding, its all a joke! I would never want anything apart from this life here with you, I’m sorry!! But again, I know panicking would be a bad idea. And I’m past blabbering in the face of danger, at this point. Being in love with a monster.

“But then the moment passed over me, Jason.” Its nice to say his name. Makes everything feel right. Puts it all in perspective. This is Jason. He’s the reason I transformed my life into this, and I wouldn’t take back that decision for anything. He is everything. “Second of all, I realised: I met freaking Leatherface, and he’s the most adorable pseudo-cousin-in-law a girl could ask for. I fought Freddy Fucking Krueger. I’m in love with you so much I’m beyond repair. I wouldn’t fit in that dream life anymore. In no universe would it be enough next to this.” I’ve met the darkness, and I could never go back. It’s weird, I’ve never been more comfortable anywhere. “But the first thought that came to me, stopping me in my tracks was you, of course. What else, honestly.” I tighten my grip on him, and feel his big hand slowly touch my back, nearly the width of my back. “I couldn’t live without you.”

“I never understood what people meant when they described their partners as their worlds before but during this moment, I figured it out. I realised that that is how I was feeling about you. I didn’t even know it. But you are, you’re my world. And that is as complicated and as simple as that.”

He doesn’t utilise a moment this time, and just hugs me to his body, enwrapping me in his arms and his chest entirely and leaning forward so his knocks against my head gently. I take this as a ‘I feel the same’, and giggle, enjoying our cuddle.

“Oh, sweetheart. I made a whole little speech there. I serenaded you, do you feel overwhelmed??” I slightly tease, but my grip back on him is too tight I’m sure, for him to take me seriously. He still sighs heavily into my shoulder though, making me giggle.

I give him a little kiss of the closest bit of skin available to me, the side of his head and secure my arms around him again, settling into this, smiling. I guess we’re making a night of it now. 

[fablesrose]

Of Kings and Shadows XIII

Chapter XIII

Description: Y/n, a girl who seems to have found her calling. Being a SHIELD agent is like a dream come true. With a friendship starting to form with the Avengers, she’s the Queen of the world! What could go wrong?

Pairings: Avengers x reader, Loki x reader (eventually)

Notes: On Wattpad –> Here

Warnings: gore, pain, torture

Masterlist

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Oh, how I wish to go back.

The only way I can is to go through the memories. The good times. The only way to pass the time. It's both the most and the least painful way to stay sane. It took a very long while to figure that out. It feels like it's been forever, for all I know maybe it has been. I'm glad I do have some good memories to look back on, a few more before the terror starts.

You don't know what a blessing it is to have your voice go hoarse. When you're crying, screaming, talking, and you can't go anymore. When you're trapped in your own head, you don't have that. Just the sound of your own voice and the darkness, and that's on a good day. The outside world? What I see through my own eyes? It is so much worse.

I don't even see the full picture anymore. It's like looking through binoculars. Everything is slightly blurry unless I focus and I can't see anything that's not in my direct sight. Not that I really want to see anything that my body is doing. What Noxy is doing. Of course, I can't be sure it's really her that's behind the wheel at this point, but I do know that outside of the little corner of my mind I'm trapped in, there's a dark cloud pulling the strings. Noxy is the closest thing I've known to this dark cloud. It doesn't talk to me. If I wasn't here, silence.

I got pulled from pleasant flashbacks with screams.

It's always the screams. This time it was a prisoner. They train me with the prisoners. It's always the same bargain. They gave it to me too, but I was a special case. It wasn't anything new or different, the same old 'fight to survive' bargain. This one didn't last long, they weren't even a challenge anymore, I was the executioner.

It brings back unpleasant memories. So many experiments, lab tables, shots. It all blended together in a horrid ball of terror. I can never seem to stop them from coming through, always being replayed. It's gotten easier, but not by much.

I remember waking up slowly strapped down to a table. I was weak and disoriented. Doctors, if I could even call them that, scientists, tormentors, take your pick, were standing to the side discussing what I assumed was me.

"Her body is too weak, it won't hold up against the formula," one said. He looked tall and skinny, bordering malnourishment.

"We can replace the parts that whither." I already hated the other, short, plump to say it nicely, and very bald.

"The formula doesn't work through metal, it must be flesh. Besides," I felt his slimy eyes look at me but didn't catch my gaze, "he thinks she's special. He wants her intact."

"For himself."

"Do you really want to risk the wrath?"

"What do you suggest then?" The fat one looked annoyed, and I didn't feel bad at all for it. My brain was still fuzzy enough that I couldn't connect the dots on what they were going to do to me. Maybe it was a good thing I didn't know beforehand.

"We must give her the serum."

"Fine, do it quickly."

I could barely turn my head enough to see the slime-balls and I couldn't see what everyone else was doing. I looked back at the ceiling and the bright white light shining on me. I yanked on the restraints, but I didn't have the strength.

"Sedate it."

I flinched at the sudden needle in my arm. The same fuzzy feeling came back in layers, meaning I must have woke up from the same drugs. I didn't have time to fully process that connection before a bigger needle entered my other arm. I clenched my teeth when the liquid entered my body, multiple times more painful than any other vaccine. I relaxed briefly when the syringe exited my arm, but it didn't last long.

I felt like I was consumed by fire. It traveled through my bones, burning through any imperfection. It evaporated the blur of my mind and I cried out in pain. It was a sensation I couldn't describe properly. After the initial flash of agony the pain... it faded. Slightly. It changed into a different kind of burning, the only way to describe it would be a good pain.

It was the feeling of cleaning a wound, stretching an extremely sore muscle, and then mildest was the burn of Solanpas. My breathing became heavy; a large amount of energy was used. A whine would occasionally escape my lips at the residue pain. I felt exhausted, and the effects of the drugs started to take effect again, clouding my mind, my limbs starting to go limp.

They were talking around me, but it sounded foreign, alien, fuzzy. Hands grabbed at my restraints, loosening them. I tried to move, but I couldn't even think straight, let alone lift a finger to fight back. Funny how in a mission you're supposed to fight, yet now I can't.

I was still semi-conscious when they left me in a cell on a mattress. The room was all white. It looked like there were scratches on the walls and ceiling revealing grey cement. Gentle hands arranged so all of my limbs were on the cot and that I was situated comfortably. I was too exhausted to turn my head to see who was my comforter.

It was many hours later when the effects of the drugs wore off. I struggled to sit up to clear my head.

"Woah, woah. Take it easy. They medicated you good, hon." The same gentle hands helped me up paired with a smooth voice.

I blinked and rubbed my eyes, struggling to clear my vision so I could see her properly. Once I was steady on the bed my companion sat on a cot opposite of mine. She was beautiful. She looked soft and kind, with a dark edge to her features that told me she's seen horrible things. She had thick box braids framing her face, looking a little frizzy due to having them in for a long time and not tending to them.

I noticed her grey jumpsuit contrasting with her dark skin leading me to notice my own replacing my Shield uniform I was wearing when I was last fully conscious. It was scratchy and loose with an elastic cinching it to my waist.

The woman looked at me sympathetically while I tried to connect all the pieces in my brain. She offered me a hand, "My names Jasmine, it looks like we're gonna be roomies in this hell hole."

I huffed, "Well that's encouraging..." I shook her hand, "Y/n."

"It's nice to meet you, but I wish I didn't."

I nodded at her, "The same to you." I ran my hands through my hair, "do you know where we are?"

She shook her head, "exact location? I have no idea. I do know that this is a Hydra base though."

I sighed, "I was worried about that..." I decided to think about my kidnapping and the person responsible later, save myself the worse headache. "How long have you been here? Where'd you come from?"

She raised an eyebrow at me, "Well since you asked so politely, I know I've been here for months, but how many? I lost count. I could be bordering a year by now, but I really don't know. As for where I came from..." She lied down on her cot making it squeak, "I used to be an MI6 agent."

I was surprised, "MI6? I didn't peg you for a Brit."

She halfheartedly glared at me, "what? Cuz I don't have that posh accent?" She put on a thick accent to mock me at the end. "Yeah, moved around a lot. Talked to a bunch of Americans, lived there for a long time. Never really picked the accent up again."

I lied down on my cot, looking at the ceiling, "no judgment here. I'm-- I used to be a Shield agent."

"Oh yeah? All the Avengers and that crap?"

I chuckled, "yeah, something like that." We lied there in silence for a while, the grim reality too fresh on our minds. I finally got the courage to ask a depressing question, "how many people have you seen pass through."

"I've lost count. All I know is I've been the longest lasting."

"I'm sorry."

"Just focus on surviving, hon."

I rested my hands over my stomach casually but found it more muscular than I remembered. I quickly sat up making my head spin a bit. I unzipped my jumpsuit to the waist revealing a sports bra and tank top equally grey. I lifted the tank top to show rock hard abs.

"Ho ho, would you look at that! I've always wanted abs..." I had been working on getting them for as long as I could remember, but they never quite got there. My core was strong, but I could never get it to look it.

Jasmine rolled her eyes, "you're acting like you didn't have them before."

I looked at her dead serious, "I didn't."

She sat back up slowly, puzzled. "What do you mean?"

"I had moss soft flabs however long ago, they took me, slapped me on a table giving me who knows what, and now I have these freaking rock hard abs and..." I looked at my arms, "these killer guns."

She looked thoughtfully at the wall, "It was a shot?"

"Yeah."

She sighed and rubbed a hand over her whole face, "Then they've got plans for you, hon. I pray for your soul."

My heart dropped. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know what to say. It didn't matter that I was strapped to a table a couple of hours ago. The reality was just setting in. I was going to be a science experiment. Knowing Hydra, I was either going to die or become a deadly weapon.

I was trapped. And I was going to be left with a horrible fate.

I swallowed deeply, "Ma'am?"

"You call me ma'am and I'm gonna beat you to a pulp, what they want you for be damned."

"What would you like me to call you then?"

"Call me Jasmine. When we're friends you can call me Jazz." She looked into my eyes from her nails, "if you last that long."

I smiled bitterly. "Alright, Jasmine. I intend to earn that nickname, so what can you tell me about surviving in this hell hole?"

She looked at me deeply, searching my eyes for something, "You have an advantage now if they gave you what I think they gave you. You're stronger now, and they want to keep you. How it works here is they weed out the weak ones."

A chill went down my spine, "How do they do that?"

"How much do you know about the Romans?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I stood in the corner of a white concrete room. It was a little bit bigger than me and Jasmine's cell, but other than that and the beds, it looked exactly the same. In the opposite corner a man with crazed eyes. He was skinny, but for some reason, I didn't think he was going to be weak. He had on a matching grey jumpsuit. The look in his eyes told me the only reason he wasn't attacking me was because of the rules they gave us before-hand.

Don't start until we give the go-ahead. If you start before you will be punished, but you won't automatically lose, so beware.

Fight like your life depends on it because it does.

Two rules. Anything goes. We were just staring at each other, waiting to be released I guess.

"So, dude, how long have you been here?"

"Doesn't matter, I'll be here longer than you little girl."

I took that as an end to the conversation and started to stretch my limbs. I didn't take my eyes off of him. I was acutely aware of the cameras looking at me, my gut was twisting, but I had to ignore it. No good could come out of it, only distraction. I was gonna beat this punk. I had no other choice.

"Attention."

I let go of my foot and set myself in an athletic, ready stance.

"Begin."

I felt like I was in the Hunger Games all of a sudden. The squirrely guy launched himself across the room at me. I dove and rolled away, my socks slipping on the painted floor. He lashed a hand toward my face, wanting to scratch me. I didn't know my own strength when I grabbed it and heard a snap.

He howled but didn't hesitate to kick my leg out from under me. I kicked him off to stand up again. I punched him in the face, but it didn't slow him down. He ducked his head down and plowed me into the wall causing me to grunt. There was no strategy, no skill. He was utterly unpredictable.

Adrenaline was pumping through my veins. I don't know when, but at some point, there were enough injuries to be dripping blood over my face. I wiped it to not get in my eyes and somehow he got behind me, tackling me to the ground. He sat on my back and held my arms behind my back. I didn't have enough leverage to use my strength to get him off. I turned my head so I could breathe, but it wasn't going to matter.

He grabbed onto my hair and ear and began pounding my head repeatedly into the ground. Pain shot through me and I struggled to get out from under him. Nothing was working and I began to fall limp, my eyesight growing black.

I lost.

The door burst open and guards pulled him off of me. The ground was swaying, and my head felt like he had never stopped pounding my head against the ground. I watched as blood started to pool in front of my eyes. I couldn't bring myself to move, my vision still fizzling out.

The intercom clicked on and a vaguely familiar voice tsked at me, "you're better than that. I need a strong Queen."

My vision finally faded with the man kicking and screaming, "I won! Get off of me! That's not how this works!"

I lost consciousness, my only thought being, "I've gotta get out of here." A tear fell from my eye.

Please find me.

TAG LIST: @nightrose64

[muthaz-rapapa]

HealPre Ep 5: Icebreaker

what’s up with Hina’s left eye?? 

We’re still in the early stages of the season so laying out the foundations for the relationships is expected but man, am I so happy that bonding (er, or rather familiarizing?) happened between Cures. Neither of whom are the Pink Cure for once.

Of course, I’m definitely not downplaying Nodoka’s (much appreciated) involvement in this because she played the most critical role in bringing Chiyu and Hina together to help them try to get along better.

But it’s still evident that for the past seasons that started out with a trio team, the Cures that debuted second and third have less special interactions with each other than they do with the lead Cure. At least for Go!Pri, I felt that was a glaring underdevelopment and one that came too late in the game. Not so much for Fresh, where Miki and Inori were already childhood friends, and Hugtto, where Saaya and Homare did take notice of each other but it happened more in the background as opposed to being upfront and center.

Anyways, the main issue between Chiyu and Hina is compatibility and they’re trying to find ways to make that work for them.

Obviously, neither of them have any problem with Nodoka, whose personality is just very kind and receptive in general. This makes it easier for Hina to be herself around Nodoka because she knows Nodoka won’t judge her for her faults.

But next to Chiyu? Not so much.

However, it’s not so much as to how Chiyu is acting around Hina but rather, Hina’s worries of her own “flaws” playing up and Hina projecting the honor student image on Chiyu rather than seeing Chiyu as just another normal girl.

So yea, in short, Hina’s intimidated by her idea of Chiyu. Not really by who Chiyu truly is.

And of course, Chiyu notices because up till this point, the most she’s been doing is trying to stop Hina from spilling the beans about them being Precure.

But that’s not all.

Hina already told them that she’s quite scatter-brained and has a hard time remembering things (a large indication that she might have ADHD).

So being the responsible person she is, Chiyu’s only trying to help Hina with that. Like suggesting that Hina take notes to help her remember better, constantly reminding her to be careful about their alter ego identities and so on.

Chiyu’s not mad or anything. It seems she’s already accepted Hina along with her troubles and just wants to help her because they’re on the same team, after all.

But Hina’s reaction every time to her advice is one of fear so Chiyu’s worried if she comes off too harshly, rather than helpful.

Really, they’re just awkward because their types are so different. Prior to becoming Precure, Chiyu hangs around people whose wavelengths are closer to hers and likewise for Hina.

Chiyu attends school clubs, is the class representative, interacts with a more mature, level-headed crowd. Especially since her home is an inn where most of the patrons would be adults. She goes by things in an orderly sense because her lifestyle molded her into that type of person.

Hina likes to go shopping, is very talkative and into stuff that’s trending among young people. Not to mention, she’s the youngest sibling in her family so she’s probably more free-spirited because of that.

So yea, they’re different but not so bad that they can’t be friends. They just gotta learn to get used to each other.

And the only way to do that is spend more time around each other like Nodoka’s mama said.

True, for some people, on a fundamental level, they just can’t get along no matter what they do.

But does that apply to Chiyu and Hina?

Nah, I don’t think so and the trip to the aquarium proves it.

From the start, Hina, still out of fear of angering Chiyu, tries her best to reign in her impulses.

It’s clear that Hina is very aware of herself and doesn’t want that to make anyone feel uncomfortable around her. She’s far from selfish and willing to listen to others as long as they all have fun together.

Chiyu, too, is not picky but if they didn’t hang out like this in the first place she probably never would’ve known that Hina had this side to her.

In any case, for once, Chiyu’s smiling at something about Hina and Hina starts noticing that Chiyu has other sides to her as well.

It’s a given that she has to be more serious when it comes to important stuff (like school, Precure being a secret, etc).

But outside those things, Chiyu’s not the least bit scary.

She has a very serene and, as Hina described, even “soft” demeanor.

And she shows she can be just as dorky because she even laughs at Hina’s awful puns.

If that ain’t a keeper for you, Hina, then I don’t know what is. 

lol xD;

Too bad all this discovering new things about each other gets cut short with Pegitan getting lost and Shindoine terrorizing their group date which leads them to have an...well, can you really call it an argument?

An argument of priorities, then.

It’s not that one is more right than the other but again, they’re not at that point where they can understand each other without complications yet so it takes Nodoka to calm them both down in order for everybody to reach an agreement together.

Which is actually very necessary in terms of team dynamics. Currently, the relation between Chiyu and Hinata is work in progress and surely, we can’t expect them to sort things out on their own. Not when they haven’t learned to drop their guards down when they’re next to each other yet.

So they need someone to act as buffer between them and that’s Nodoka.

Awesome.

Again, I really like how everyone’s involved with each other in similar degrees. Nodoka being a part of the discussion that’s focused on Chiyu and Hina, without taking the spotlight from them, is the sort of thing I really want to see among Precure interactions.

Moving along...well, I really don’t have much to comment about this scene.

Because even though Hinata charging in without a plan to retrieve Pegitan did work out for the Cures, it was still a dumb move because who knows what Shindoine might’ve been hiding behind her back as she held Pegitan hostage?

Understandably, Chiyu is not pleased.

Pegitan got violently knocked around like a cheap bean bag, Hinata got into a scuffle with the enemy, the aquarium’s still under attack.

She’s mad, alright. And you know it cuz even Nodoka, a non-target of her rage, is going “Oh shit!” at the dangerous vibes Chiyu’s giving off. ^^;

Needless to say, after the battle, Hina cannot avoid being scolded but what she doesn’t realize until a second later is that Chiyu’s mad because she was worried about Hina.

Moreover, when Hina hears the words “from now on,” it all but tells everyone that yes, Chiyu does want Hina on their team and therefore YES, Chiyu does want to be good friends with her.

And it’s because Chiyu wants to treat her like a friend that she’s not going to hold back when Hina does something stupid again.

Chiyu gets angry because she cares and showing you care is what friends do even if it means ya gotta yell at them from time to time.

Now, we don’t know to what extent Hina actually realizes that but at least she knows now that nobody wants her off the team.

And I’m glad we stopped at this point for the Chiyu/Hinata progression today instead of having everything resolved in one episode (which isn’t realistic) and never addressing it again. Or leaving it for just one or two episodes before the end and call it a day then.

Friendship takes time, building a relationship takes time and most importantly, it requires efforts, big and small, from both sides in order for it to be truly mutual. It has to be continuously shown for it to be believable as well.

So if (and this is just my guess at how things might go, btw) we can see Hina gradually loosen up around Chiyu and practice taking her advice now and then and Chiyu allowing for some more patience with Hina while they bond and become closer throughout the show, then I do not doubt they’ll become very good friends by the end.

Maybe even the best of friends.

So ganbatte, Chiyu and Hina!! We’re all rooting for you!

✽-(ˆ▽ˆ)/✽ ✽\(ˆ▽ˆ)-✽

[exhaustedfander]

When is Enough Enough? [Chapter Four]

1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 / 8 / Epilog 

a03 link to story

The party was about just what Logan had expected; which was to say he wasn’t having a good time at all. It wasn’t Roman’s doing, the scene just wasn’t one that the logical man liked to frequent. When he’d first been invited, Logan had attempted to decline as politely as he could, reminding Roman how out of his comfort zone he would be.

“Oh come on, teach, you must be in attendance! It wouldn’t be the same without you there.”

While Logan appreciated Roman’s assurance that the shindig wouldn’t be half as fun if he didn’t show up, he knew then that Roman would most likely get far two swept up in the atmosphere of the party – as well as his instance to shove his tongue down Virgil’s throat at every possible moment – to make Logan feel all that included. And that was just what was happening.

What had been described as an “intimate get-together between friends,” was in actuality Roman’s home being filled to the brim with cast-mates from former plays he’d taken part in, other theater workers and people whom he’d meet in his improv and acting classes, and some friends of Virgil’s.  Logan was sure that these were decent individuals, but he knew almost no one who was in attendance, and already not having been a fan of parties in general, it was becoming imminent that choosing to come was a mistake.

Roman had greeted him at the door, of course, with Virgil already standing beside him with an arm around his waist and the couple had offered Logan something to drink. It was strange, seeing Virgil fairly comfortable in such a crowded atmosphere, as such a thing usually would be quite the fight with Virgil’s heightened anxiety. But Logan supposes that by Roman’s side, Virgil felt a lot less vulnerable. It was nice, seeing his emo friend coming out of his shell, but it couldn’t take away from the fact that he was alone at a party he didn’t wish to be at.

He’d spoken with the couple briefly, as well as caught up with Patton and Janus. That was strange, too, seeing the two of them together so intimate, all things considered. Janus’s presence in the friend group for a long time was almost nonexistent. Janus and Virgil had been in a relationship some time ago that had turned rather sour. Logan didn’t know the particulars as to why, nor was it any of his business, but they all hadn’t gotten along with Janus very well for quite some time. He was known quite infamously for being a deceitful, lying person and was not welcomed in their presence.

But with time, it seemed that the old wounds between Virgil and Janus had healed for the most part and everyone was beginning to give him a chance. Logan had never had any particularly ill-feelings about Janus. He supposed wearing gloves all the time was a little strange, and there was that one time where Janus had impersonated him for a prank, but for the most part Logan was okay with him. Additionally, he made Patton happy, happier than Logan had seen him in such a long time and Logan could find no issue with that. Having known Patton for as long as Roman and Virgil, it was quite nice to see how Patton warmed up to Janus and eventually cultivated a romantic relationship with him.

Despite how sickly sweet the two couples are, they paid very little attention to Logan, spending time with one another and socializing with the other guests. Logan found himself standing alone in the kitchen, nursing half of a bear that he didn't particularly like before he felt a rather hard tap on his shoulder.

He turned around to see Remus grinning widely at him, clad in the most hideous neon-green shorts, a black sequin shirt with puffy sleeves and dark green flip-flops. Needless to say, it wasn't the wildest thing Logan’s seen him wear.

“Hello Remus. I wasn’t aware you were in attendance.” He attempted to smoother the gratefulness that seeps into his tone, but to no avail. Remus’s grin only seemed to broaden.

“Oh, I wasn’t invited,” Remus announced proudly, pulling himself up onto the counter so that he was sat beside Logan and had a better vantage point to fiddle with his tie. Logan pushed Remus’s hands away and smoothed out his tie. “I thought crashing my bro-bro’s party would be fun but what a bore this is! I’m so bored I could light myself on fire!”

It didn't surprise Logan that Remus wasn’t invited, seeing as his and Roman’s relationship was so fractured, but he didn't comment on it.

“That doesn’t sound like a very good idea,” Logan replied. Remus huffed.

“You’re no fun!”

“That’s interesting, seeing as I seem to recall you having a great deal of fun when we went to the science museum.”

“Well –,” Logan didn't fail to take in the adorable, err, intriguing way that Remus struggled to come up with a response, his face squeezed up in an exasperated expression, “Well that’s different! The museum was fun, not you!”

“Right, of course,” Logan said, knowing Remus was lying through his teeth, “how foolish of me.”

“Exactly. Speaking of fun, it doesn’t look like you were having too much of it before I showed up,” and oh, there was a delectable look in Remus’s eyes as he said it.

Logan wasn't an idiot, he knew there was a spark between them. Remus flirted shamelessly; then again, Remus flirted with everyone. But it felt different with him, more-sincere.

“You know me.”

“I do.”

“Parties aren’t my scene. Roman invited me, and I did not wish to hurt his feelings by not attending.” Remus pressed a pointed finger to Logan’s nose, a teasing smile painted on his face as Logan felt heat flush over his neck.

“Boop!” Remus chimed, pressing his finger again, knowing Logan wouldn’t let anyone else be so up in his personal space. Remus liked that.

“You ever told my brother we talk?” Logan noted that Remus doesn’t say “we’re friends.” He said talk and talk, well, that could mean so many things.

“No, I don’t believe I’ve mentioned it,” – Logan’s fully aware he’d never mentioned it –, “I suppose I figured that you two have a troubled enough relationship as it is.” Remus cocked an eyebrow.

“And you figure you’d trouble it more?”

“I…well…I don’t –.”

“Oh, stop sputtering, Nerdy Wolverine. Doesn’t matter anyway, this way it’ll be a lot easier to fool around with you a little without Roman suspecting a thing.” Now that brought the color out in Logan’s cheeks. He cleared his throat, keen to notice the look of satisfaction that brought Remus. While Logan was not always too keen to pick up when someone was flirting with him, it’s impossible to miss it with Remus. Subtlety really wasn't his forte.

“Very funny,” he chose to say, his brain failing to come up with a more suitable answer, deciding instead to change the subject, “Are you going to get something to drink?”

“Nah,” Remus responded, surprising Logan a great deal, “Me and alcohol don’t really mix all too well.”

“Oh, really? I can’t help but be surprised with that. I was under the impression that you’d enjoy drinking.” Remus’s lip quirked in a lopsided smile as he shruged his shoulders.

“Yeah, you’d think so. But nope, it kind of tends to bring out the worst of my behavior. Not to say that I’m not a bit of a handful most of the time.” Logan couldn't help but smirk at that.

“A bit?”

“Fine, I’m a lot of a handful all of the time,” – Remus punctuated the “lot” by making a squeezing motion in front of his chest as if he were clutching a pair of invisible breasts – “I don’t see you complaining.”

“Not most of the time, I suppose.” Remus chuckled.

“Right. But anyway, the last time I got really, really wasted I climbed up on the roof and decided jumping from it into the pool was a real swell idea.” Although the idea of Remus doing such a thing wasn't by any means surprising, it’s still incredibly upsetting to contemplate. He could have been so severalty injured.

“My god.”

“Yeah, it was pretty wild ‘cuz I actually made it in the water. But if I hadn’t? I woulda splat all over the pavement.” Logan crinkled his nose.

“That’s not a very pleasant image.”

“Just my blood and guts everywhere, all goopy on the pavement.”

“Remus –.”

“You think maybe my head might’ve turned the other way around? Or, or if I woulda broken all my bones and my arms and legs would have been all bent this way and that way and –.”

“Remus!”

“Okay, okay, I’ll stop,” Remus said before grabbing Logan’s hand. “Hey, this party stinks. You wanna hang out outside? I don’t think there’s anybody out there.”

Honestly, the offer was quite tempting. Logan had barely gotten a word in with his other friends and he had just been considering calling it a night before Remus bumped into him. Additionally, Remus wasn't exactly on the guest list and it wouldn’t be odd to imagine Roman being a bit irritated to see his brother in his home.

“Sure, I suppose that sounds adequate,” Logan answered, certainly not because the idea of spending some alone time with Remus is compelling. No, that isn’t it at all, he merely wants to escape the part atmosphere.

“Goodie!” Remus declared vociferously, hopping off of the counter with more force than necessary. Before Logan could even grab the drink he’d been nursing that he did’t particularly want, Remus dragged him through the living room. A few of the party-goers did a double take, most definitely at Remus’s appalling outfit, Logan certainly can’t blame them. But as they push open the sliding-glass door to the backyard, Logan is emediately elated to see the backyard empty, just as Remus had said.

“What’d I tell ya? Nobody’s around,” Remus grinned devilishly before letting go of Logan’s hand – Logan most certainly didn’t miss the lack of contact immediately – and all but collapsed in the grass. Logan sighed at the antics of his friend, watching him pretend to make Snow Angels on the lawn before deciding to lay beside him, ignoring how dirty it would get his clothes. That’s what always seems to happen when Logan spends time with Remus, he momentarily forgot things like how filthy he might get, or silly he might look, or feel. Remus, knowingly or not, made Logan let his walls down.

“Too bad we can’t see any stars out,” Remus said after a brief moment of silence, as Remus was almost never silent, “I bet you could tell me a bunch of nerdy facts about the stars.”

“Well,” Logan said, suddenly feeling strangely nervous as Remus’s fingers brushed against his own, “I suppose, that is to say if you wanted to, we could go to the planetarium together sometime.”

“If I…wanted to?” Remus repeated questioningly. Logan averted eye-contact, casting his gaze to the Star-absent heavens.

“Yes,” Logan said, and though he wasn't looking he could practically see the smile that was spreading across his friend’s face, “If you wanted to. I know I tend to, uh, nerd-out, as you or Roman might say, when it comes to those things. But knowing the conversations we’ve had, I suppose we both nerd out about a lot of –.”

“You know I like you, right?”

Any of the words Logan had intended on saying come to a grinding halt as his eyes suddenly met Remus’s.

“I-I…uh…”

It isn’t as though Logan wasn’t aware of that. Remus had been making it fairly evident for some time, he just hadn’t expected it to be blurted out so brazenly. Looking back on that, though, he shouldn’t have expected anything different. Remus was a shameless, bold man who always said what he thought regardless of what ridicule might come of that.

“I like you a lot,” Remus continued, flipping on his side that their lips were only inches apart and Logan could feel Remus’s breath on his face. “And I know I can be a real pain in the ass. But you make me feel really special, Logan. Almost no one makes me feel special anymore, and it’s been so long since I really felt this way about someone, but I like you.”

Logan wondered if the light in the backyard is dim enough to hide the blush that’s crept over his face, but knowing his luck, probably not. Logan felt himself beginning to shudder, a nervous response that’s so unlike his usual self. His breath hitched but Remus gives him time to collect his thoughts, a small kindness that isn’t lost on him.

“I…I like you too,” Logan admited finally, “I like you quite a bit, Remus.”

It would be a lie to say that Logan hadn’t thought of what kissing Remus might be like. He’d been imagining it quite a lot lately, but this didn’t quite fit the bill. He was expecting it to be rough, somewhere edging on violent, with far too much teeth. That isn’t to say that it was gentle, either. As Logan’s lips interlocked with Remus’s his friend returned the gesture enthusiastic, his hands suddenly all over Logan and mustache tickling his upper-lip just slightly. Tangled in his hair, roaming down his waist. It was open-mouthed, and hot and driven by more passion than Logan would have given himself credit for, but with as heated as the osculation is, Logan found himself overwhelmed by the tenderness that seeps through.

And when Logan found himself pinning Remus into the grass, his hair mussed up and eyes shining with infatuation, his hands straddling Remus’s waist, Logan couldn't help but grin.

“Oh, Dragonfly,” and oh heavens, Remus had certainly never called him that before because he liked that, “I could get used to you on top of me.” Logan kissed him again, strong and unyielding, feeling all sense of his usual composure slip away.

Remus isn’t the man he was expecting, or even looking for at all, but now that he was here he couldn't seem to imagine any other possibility. All intentions of staying for the duration of the party fell away as Logan climbed off of Remus and stumbled to his feet, high off of the pleasure, and the enjoyment and all of the many, seemingly irrational feelings that flooded his mind. Usually, such an infiltration of strong emotion and the dizziness that they cause would terrify Logan but now he wasn't scared. He was thrilled.

“In that vein of thinking,” he said breathlessly, offering Remus a hand as he helped him to his feet, “Maybe we should continue this back at my place?” The flash in Remus’s eyes was positively devious.

“What? You don’t want to continue this here? Think of all the people who could walk out and see us?” Logan sputtered for a moment before seeing the teasing expression on Remus’s face.

“I’m kidding! Come on, nerd. Let’s blow this pop-stand.”

Remus held his hand tight as they walked through the yard and slipped out the back-gate, Logan’s mind running circles as they made it to his car. Logan was overjoyed for taking Roman up on his invitation, to not go to this party would have been a grave mistake.

=+=

[country-clubs-gf]

Embry Call Imagine for kpopgirlbtssvt

In which Bella’s younger sister moves back to Forks and Embry imprints on her, and when he tells her he’s a werewolf and that he imprinted on her, she doesn’t freak out like he thought she would.

~~~

Excitement.

That was all I felt once I’d made up my mind to move back to Forks with my dad and my sister. It wasn’t an easy decision- I’d be leaving all my friends and my mother, and my university that I’d worked so hard to get into. All of it.

But I was so ready to move back to Forks. I was so fed up with Florida, which is surprising because when my mom told me we were moving there, I was so excited. I loved Florida, the beaches, the heat, everything. It was the opposite of Forks.

But that’s just the thing. It was the opposite of home.

As the taxi drove me from the airport, everything felt so familiar. The gray skies, the green trees, the mountains. I loved it. This is what I came back for. The familiarity of it all.

As the taxi pulled into my driveway, I was hit with an overwhelming sense of relief. I was finally here. Home.

I got out and grabbing my bags, rushing to the door so I could finally see my dad, Charlie. I’d been dying to see him, calling him every chance I could get while I was away.

He opened the door before I could knock on it. “Y/N!” Come here and give your old man a hug,” he greeted. I dropped my bags and wrapped my arms around him, taking in his familiar scent.

I opened my eyes to see a woman I soon recognized to be Sue Clearwater standing behind him. She smiled widely at me.

I pulled away from Dad’s hug and he moved over so Sue could say hi.

“Sue, is that you?! I haven’t seen you in ages!” I exclaimed. She moved closer to hug me and I returned the hug.

“Long time, no see!” She said. “How have you been?”

I sighed, moving my shoulders up and down for emphasis. “Super busy! I was so ready to get back home and feel like myself again!” I explained.

“Well we are so glad you’re back! Charlie’s been talking nonstop about how excited he is that you’re moving back in!” She states and I over at my dad who I can tell is mentally facepalming himself.

“You didn’t have to reveal all that, Sue,” he sighs. I chuckle and look at Sue, who is smiling and shaking her head.

“Well let’s get you unpacked!” Sue exclaims and both her and Charlie help me with my bags.

“Let’s!” I exclaim, more than ready to be settled in.

After I unpack and at least attempt to situate my belongings, I start to head downstairs but stop when I pass by a familiar room. Bella’s room.

It seems so empty. I then realize I have no idea where she is, as neither Charlie or Sue have mentioned her whereabouts to me. With that, I head downstairs to where Charlie and Sue are sitting cozy on the couch.

“Hey, dad, quick question- where is Bella??” I ask, a concerned look on my face.

“Oh,” he starts, looking down, “she went to go live with that weird Cullen kid.” I raise my eyebrow. “I can show you if you want. Apparently her and Edward have an adopted niece now. I’m sure you’ll want to meet her.” Charlie says.

“Yes, I’ve missed her so of course I wanna see her.” I tell him. He nods and sighs, getting up from the couch like it’s the hardest thing he’s had to do. I roll my eyes at his overdramatic actions while Sue just chuckles.

“Grab your coat and let’s go,” Charlie says. I grab my coat from upstairs and meet Charlie in the car.

The drive there is very quiet, almost too quiet. I can’t help but wonder what is going through Charlie’s mind and what could’ve happened to Bella to make him so reluctant to go see her and her new family.

We pull up to a big house in the middle of the woods. “We’re here,” Charlie announces. I quickly get out of the car and go up the steps, Sue and Charlie following behind me. I knock on the glass door, quickly being greeted by a pale woman with medium-length brown hair and golden eyes.

She opens the door, welcoming me with a warm smile. “Hi, I’m Esme.”

“Hi, I’m (Y/N). Is Bella here?” I ask.

“She is, come on in!” She opens the door wider for us to come in. “Good to see you Charlie.” She says to my dad.

“You too, Esme,” he says. She leads us up the steps into a big, well-decorated living space. I look around, only to find Bella and Edward sitting on the couch, a little girl with a striking resemblance to Bella is playing the piano. A blonde woman and bulky man are leaning against it, watching her. A blonde man comes up to Esme and kisses her sweetly, smiling lovingly at her after he does so.

Bella looks surprised to see me. “(Y/N)! What are you doing here!?” She asks excitedly, rushing up to me and hugging me.

“I’m moving back home!” I tell her, hugging her back.

Growing up, Bella and I were always super close. She looked after me and I definitely wouldn’t be who I am today without her. She’s always had my back, even when I wanted to move with Mom to Florida.

“You guys, this is my little sister I’ve told you guys about. (Y/N), this is Esme, Carlisle, Emmett, Rosalie, Alice, and Jasper!” She points to everyone as she names them and they all give a half smile.

“Well it’s certainly nice to meet the little sister that Bella is always telling us about,” Carlisle states.

“It’s nice to meet all of you, too.” I tell them.

“Oh, and this is our niece, Renesmee,” she says, gesturing for the little girl to come over here. She obliges and walks up to me.

I bend down to see her. “Nice to meet you, I guess that makes me your aunt, too,” I tell her. She gives a small smile and nods, not saying much. She seems shy.

Suddenly, a very attractive guy with tan skin and dark hair styled in a quiff walks in the room. I eye the tattoo on his upper arm. I halfway recognize him but have a hard time putting my finger on who it is.

“Jacob, you remember (Y/N), don’t you?” Bella asks him. Jacob? It couldn’t be the Jake that Bella and I used to be friends with growing up when we’d come visit Charlie.

“(Y/N)? Wow, you’ve really grown up!” Jacob exclaims.

“I could say the same about you!” I gesture to his tallness, to which he laughs.

Just then, we hear a whistle coming from outside. Bella heads downstairs to see who it is, and I follow. She opens the front door and steps out, apparently recognizing the three boys coming up to the house from the woods.

I step outside, curious to see who these guys are. They all look sort of similar, and they all have that same tattoo that Jacob has. What’s up with that?

“What are you guys doing here?” Bella says to the tallest one.

“We’ve come for Jake,” he states with a really deep voice.

“What’s wrong, Sam?” Jake asks, stepping towards the men.

The two men beside Sam are much hotter than him. One has hair up in a quiff like Jacob, a strong jawline and cheekbones and thin lips. He’s stunningly gorgeous. The one on the other side of Sam has longer hair and fuller lips, he’s honestly adorable and a different kind of beautiful. I find myself instantly attracted to him in a way I can’t really describe.

I think I stared for a little too long cuz he notices and makes eye contact with me. Just then something unexplainable happens. The boy takes a step back, like he was hit by a gust of wind or something, his eyes grow wide and he looks like he got his breath knocked out of him. I look at the other guys beside him and they look just as shocked.

“Please don’t tell me you did what I think you just did, Embry!” Bella yells at him, obviously furious. She leaps off the steps and pushes him. “I didn’t want her to know this side of our world! I wanted her to have a normal life but that’s not happening now is it?” She yells.

What the heck is going on?

“Bella, calm down,” Jake warns.

“I’m sorry, i-it’s not something I can control!” Embry defends himself.

“Paul, get Embry out of here!” Sam demands.

“No! I’m not leaving her!” Embry shouts. What? Leaving who?

“Can someone please tell me what’s going on?” I ask. They all look at me, but no one says a thing.

“Do you want to tell her or should I?” Embry says to Bella.

“I guess you should. I still don’t fully understand your wolf stuff,” Bella says.

“Well before you do all that, Jake, we need you at Emily’s.” Sam states firmly. Jake sighs.

“Alright alright, I’m coming,” Jake huffs. “I barely even got to see Ness.”

Paul rolls his eyes. “I’m sure you’ll live,” he says, rolling his eyes. Jake shoots him a glare.

“I don’t know about that,” Jake retorts, earning another eye roll from Paul.

“(Y/N), get on Jake’s motorcycle. You’re coming with us,” Sam orders. Who does he think he is?

“Why?” I question.

“Just get on, trust me, it’s easier this way,” Jake says.

I look behind me to find my dad. I totally forgot I came here with him.

“Is it okay if I go with them?” I ask. He nods.

“I trust Jacob, go ahead,” he states. Wow, I wasn’t expecting him to be so chill with me running off with a bunch of hot guys.

I hop on Jake’s bike and put on the helmet he hands me. “Oh da wolf comin up” he says, starting his bike. I wrap my arms around his body, holding on for dear life. I can’t help but notice how warm he is, like unnaturally warm.

“Are you running a fever?” I yell over the sound of his bike.

“Something like that,” he answers. That doesn’t answer my question at all. If anything, it creates more.

After a long ride to the reservation, we stop at a house that is also in the middle of the woods. Except this one is smaller and actually sort of cuter.

“Wait, how did the other guys get here so fast?” I question. In fact, I don’t remember them getting into a car or anything, just running off into the woods.

“You ask a lot of questions,” Jake replies.

“Yeah, and you’ve answered none of them,” I retort. He laughs and rolls his eyes.

“I think Embry wants to be the one to tell you about all that,” he states. “Come on, let’s go inside.”

We make our way inside the cute gray house. As soon as we walk in, there’s a bunch of really attractive guys. Two of them I recognize from before, Paul and Embry. I look around for Sam and see him with his arm around a girl who’s face is scratched on one side.

“Don’t stare,” Jacob whispers. I quickly look away. Embry jumps up from his chair.

“Hey, I never properly introduced myself before. I’m Embry Call, I hear you’re Bella’s sister?” He half asks.

I smile. “Hi, yes, she’s my older sister. I’m actually moving here from living with our mother in Florida,” I tell him.

“Oh so you’re staying for good?” He asks.

“Yeah, I guess I am,” I reply. His eyes brighten a little when I say that.

“Let me introduce you to everyone. This is Sam, his fiancée Emily, Jared, you’ve met Paul, Collin, Brady, Quil, Leah, and Seth.” He says, point to each of them.

They all smile and say hi. I smile back awkwardly. I’m not a big fan of being the center of attention, which today, that seems to be happening a lot.

“Embry, well let you go explain everything to (Y/N) while we discuss some pack stuff,” Sam states.

“Right, okay.” Embry says, motioning for me to follow him.

After we’d been walking for a while, I turn to him, anxious to know what everyone has been talking about.

“Now can you please explain what’s happening?” I ask him. He sighs. I have a feeling we will be out here for a while.

“Look, you don’t live in the world you think you do. Have you noticed how my friends and I all have the same tattoo on our upper arm? That’s because we’re all a pack. A wolf pack. We’re shapeshifters. I’m not sure if you’ve heard of the legends around this place and our tribe. But they’re true. And the thing that happened at Bella’s and the Cullen’s house that she got so mad about, well, I may have, sort of, imprinted on you.” He explains.

I raise an eyebrow. “You what?” I ask. I feel so confused and overwhelmed at what he’s telling me.

“It’s a wolf thing, it happens when we make eye contact with our soulmate for the first time after we become shapeshifters. You’re my soulmate. Now, we don’t have to be romantically involved, that is completely up to you and I know that this is a lot for you to take in right now so I completely understand if you don’t want to yet, but just know that I’m your protector now and I can even just be your best friend, but that will be hard for me due to my wolf instincts. But I’d be happy just being a part of your life.” He tells me.

My eyes go wide. I feel so overwhelmed that I have to sit down on a log that’s near us on the ground. “Wow, soulmates, huh?” Is all I can manage to say.

“And I guess now would be the time to tell you that all of those pale people you met at Bella’s were vampires, including Bella and her niece, who is actually her daughter. Well, Renesmee is actually a half vampire but it’s complicated.”

“Wow, well that explains a lot,” I say.

“Wow, how are you so calm? When I first found out about all this stuff, I was a lot less calm than you!” He exclaims.

“Yea well, it’s just, based on what Bella’s been saying to me over the phone, and based on things that just don’t add up, like how you and Paul and Sam got to the house much faster than Jake and I did and why Jake is so warm and why Bella and her new family are all super pale with weird eyes, it just didn’t make any human sense.” I explain.

He breaks out into a huge smile. “You are already amazing,” he tells me.

I can’t help but smile at his enthusiasm. “Well, I’m good with weird.”

“Clearly!” He says.

“So, Embry, can I see this shapeshifting talent you say you have?” I ask. He laughs.

“Well it’s not so much a talent as it is a burden, but sure, if you want,” he replies. “Just know what I’m gonna be completely naked when I phase back so I may have to run ahead of you to the house to grab shorts.”

I laugh. “Okay, I understand.”

Just then, he starts focusing really hard on himself and steam starts coming off of him before he jumps in the air and becomes a wolf. His wolf is really pretty, it’s gray with a heart shape on the face. I think it’s super cool and it makes him even more adorable.

“I don’t know how, but, Embry, you’re a hundred times more adorable to me than you were before!” I tell him. He comes up to me and bows his head down, motioning for me to pet him. He seems pleased when I do so.

“Let’s head back to the house,” I tell him and he runs ahead like he said he would.

I take my time walking back to give him time to recover from the transformation. The whole back I kept thinking about how different my life has become in the last few hours. It’s literally a whole new world and I’m actually excited to get to know it better.

I find my way back to Emily’s and head inside. The boys are all looking at me expectantly, and Embry comes up and stands next to me, giving me a small smile which I gladly return.

“So, what did you think?” Jared smirks. “Scared yet?”

“Actually no, she handled it super well, I’m actually impressed. She handled it better than Bella did,” Embry states proudly.

“Well welcome to the family!” Quil exclaims.

“Yea, we thought Embry would never imprint on someone,” Paul states. “Our boy has become a man.” He jokes and the boys laugh.

I look at Embry who is blushing. I give him a reassuring smile.

“Well, (Y/N), make yourself at home. It seems you’ll be with us for a while,” Emily states, holding out a plate of cookies for me to grab one. I take one and bite into it. They’re actually amazing.

Embry pulls out a chair for me and I sit down. “Such a gentleman,” I say, smiling up at him.

“That’s our Embry,” Quil laughs.

Embry sits down next to me, and a sense of security fills me.

I finally found the real reason why I came back to Forks. This was it.

~~~

Here you go @kpopgirlbtssvt ! It took me forever to write and it’s kinda long but I wanted to build it up just right. I hope you like it!

[aroll765]

Covid-19 and Me

Welcome to my blog about Covid-19 and Me. I’m Amanda. and it’s nice of you to stop by. I hope you’re staying safe, well, and AT HOME. Fun fact I love to write so this is looooong blog but I wanted to describe as much as I could to help someone and remember this intense scary time in our World. The last few days have been a whirlwind. I’m honestly still trying to wrap my brain around it, I’ve been extremely calm yet to panic or be in fear, I’ve found my zen place and by some miracle have been able to stay there even when I feel myself slipping ( crazy right? The anxious drama queen is the most calm out of everyone) but others not so much. I would rather you pray or send amazing positive good vibes to my family and friends that are extremely worrie, despite then playing it cool to me, my empath skills can pick up on everything and I know they are not okay, so send those prayers and good positive calming vibes to them cuz I got this. Okay here goes I want to be as detail oriented as possible. So put on some music, grab a cocktail, and read. I’m writing this, as an awesome friend suggested, so I can let you know how getting Covid-19 is for me. What happened, my symptoms, the onset of everything, the process, and hopefully I can ease someone else’s fear, anxiety, or save their life. Even if I help one person, than to me I’ll swallow all my insecurities about sharing my journey and putting everything out their for the world and I know it”ll be worth it. I know I’ll have haters too, but let them hate. We only drive out negativity and hate with love. So, yes I honestly didn’t want to share anything. I know people will judge me. It’s a very private personal matter. I don’t want more people worried about me than need to be or cause more fear, panic, paranoia, or be judged honestly. But again even if this helps only one, then okay it’s worth it to me. This is extremely serious not only in our community, but we here in the United States are the leading number of cases in the world, and I believe we haven’t even seen the impact yet. So yes it’s serious and it needs to be taken as such. STAY HOME! Stay safe. Stay healthy. I did everything as I was supposed to and I still got it but that doesn’t mean you will. Monday I was in my feels and sent my best friends videos on why I loved them, what they mean to me, and just had to express it. It’s like my body and intuition already knew I had it, I just didn’t pick up on it. Weird, maybe, but I am a very emotional sensitive loving person so telling people what they mean to me is really not out of the norm but sending 3-5 minute long videos is. I believe I am so sick so I can help spread awareness and help others take it serious! So one thing you should know is when I get sick, I do it right. I get real sick. I’ve had tummy issues for over a week now, I knew a sinus infection was coming over last weekend, as I rarely get them in my maxillary sinuses, but with the weather changes I thought okay...here we go. Then I had a lingering migraine for days it comes and goes and it’s nothing like my normal ones. It’s on the top of my head and the back of my skull and it comes in waves or a constant pain. But no vision loss, sensitive to sound, just very odd and different but painful. Monday I was feeling yucky and couldn’t get my sinus rinses to go threw, could tell I was swollen, bit of a sore throat but pushed thru. Wednesday awful migraine and extreme sinus pressure. When I get sinus infections they are normally my upper sinuses not the ones in my cheeks, but not this one. I was struggling. Thursday I woke up and knew I was for real sick and something was a bit off. It was sinus infection and probably bronchitis cuz it had moved in my airways but what is this horrid punching pain feeling in my back? My chest was tight. Dry cough. Terrible sore throat. Fever ,I think I lost or broke mine and haven’t bought a new one, cuz I was warm to touch but freezing. Felt achey and overall rough...but I had not slept very much or well. Regardless, I know my body well and I called my Dr. she was available within 30 minutes to have an appointment over the phone! We talked and she said it could be my usual stuff (sinusitis/bronchitis or walking pneumonia) but I also had symptoms of covid-19 so I would need to be screened. My inhaler I was trying to use it but having difficulty because I would start to cough so bad. I couldn’t get a deep enough breath. I do have medicine for a nebulizer but not the machine. A coworker has offered to let me borrow one if I needed it a few weeks ago when we were planning for this, but if I have corona virus I wasn’t leaving my home and risking getting others sick. Plus, if I couldn’t breathe to get the inhaler how would I breathe with the machine. I didn’t want to risk leaving my home really so I didn’t. She recommended I also buy a thingy they put on your finger to monitor your oxygen/heart rate, but warned me I wouldn’t be able to find one. So to look online and invest in one for the future and also a nebulizer and gave me some great advice. I get this about two maybe three times a year so it’s a good investment. She said to try and keep using the inhaler but not push it and called me in medicine (steroid and zpack) and to do the screening for Covid-19. She told me what app to download and so I did and logged in, and did the virtual screening process, it’s kinda like FaceTime! Super easy and you talk to a nurse. We were chatting, I answered questions, she had me walk around my home, did a certain breathing test—-the goal is to get to 30 and I only got to 10, she said I need to put you on hold a minute and I’ll be right back. She was so sweet and kind and I thanked her for working just like I did my Dr. She came back and the dr she was talking to over the phone at the hospital wanted me to come to the hospital. The dr hung up and the nurse said do you want to come or ride it out at home? I was like wait, what? She said the dr wants you to come in because of your breathing she’s marked you as severe case. You can’t walk to your bathroom without getting out of breath, coughing, wheezing so it’s a concern. I said no no I want to stay home and she agreed that was best, and changed me to moderate. She told me she had spoke to someone before me that was much worse that also decided to ride it out at home and this person was much older. I was like okay. Cool. I said ya sure? She said yes I think it’s best I’ve been doing this for weeks and yes you’re not well but if I didn’t have it I would be subjecting myself to more germs while sick, and I’m more comfortable at home and can rest easier. She told me if I got worse or trouble breathing to call back and they would arrange with the ER my arrival, if there wasn’t time and I needed to call 911 I would have to tell them I failed the screening and have Covid-19 symptoms so they could prepare themselves. I said so wait, I have it? She said you have all but one symptom, vomiting. Which I had done with the migraine. So basically yes but they only do screening and tests are limited and sent me a note in the app inbox and told me what to do and self quarantine for 7 days. She said they are there whenever and to call back the virtual screening and talk to a nurse if I needed to. (The 7 days is if you’re in a home with anyone else you HAVE to be in an isolated room and bathroom so no one else can get it) you also need to stay away from pets. I asked her how? I explained my cat is my life and she said well just don’t let the animal eat after you. Ewww I don’t do that anyway. After 7 days you quarantine for the additional 14-21 days. This 7 day thing is very confusing to some. I called back later that night with more questions. That nurse answered my questions and said even if I had come in there was no guarantee I would have been tested. You’re only tested if admitted. Testing is for the medical staff and high risk patients but to call my Dr in the morning, saying I failed the screening I have all but one symptom, and they should give me the test. Okay. So finally drifted off to sleep around 5/6am. It was an awful night. But surpassingly I still had not freaked out, cried, panicked, or had anxiety or anything, I was more worried about my loved ones and how they were handling this. I wake up Friday and I feel even worse. Like a plane and a train have hit me and ran me over. The pain in my back is like bricks are now punching me, someone is laying on the back of my chest, my chest is so tight and I’m getting sharp pains in my back and chest randomly. Mainly left back around shoulder blade and right front chest area, I can’t smell anything, taste is off but occasionally I can taste, I am wheezing no matter what. I’m sneezing. My throat feels like sandpaper fire, it’s just rough. I couldn’t get a deep enough breathe yesterday for my inhaler to get down into my lungs and today was extremely painful I just coughed trying to breathe before doing it. Tried again and coughed so bad I was dizzy. But, positive thoughts positive mind so I try and fake out my parents and called them each and told them I was feeling okay and trying to downplay it, so they could stop worrying. They don’t need to worry cuz I’m fine. I’m totes fine, just the normal crud right. So I change jammies and get ready for work at home. Oh, sitting up is awful!!! I’m nausea and dizzy and wow this is bad. But I can work I got this. But first I call my Dr. I’m getting that test!!! My Dr is working from home today...but they are amazing at the office and she said she would get to the bottom of this and figure out what to do and get back to me. Yes, I thanked her for working. You’ll see this is a pattern. It’s hard to breathe, I’m in so much pain but I’m okay, I can do this I keep telling myself. But I honestly know I’m different than ”normal stuff”. I see the Dr office is calling back, it’s someone else. She starts talking to me and we’re talking and she says Amanda, I’m looking at your chart and you were screened yesterday? I said yes. I failed. She said failed? I said I have all but one symptom. She said I am going to call the on call Dr and call you right back! Don’t put your phone down. I’m like ohhhh I bet they found me a test hahaha sweet. She called back fast. She said you need to get to the ER right now. I said ummm what? No no. I’m riding this out at home. We talked yesterday the screening nurses it’s all worked out. She said no, you have to go right now to the er your symptoms are worse, you’re wheezing and chest is tight, this virus moves fast and you could die. Go now! I said uhhh what!? But are you calling or do I or do I call the screening nurses cuz they said I can’t just show up we have to alert the er, I’m starting to spin, she interrupts me and said there’s no time...it’s fine GO NOW! I’m referring you and we are your PCP Office and they referred you back to us so we are telling you go now, By golly I’ve never put a mask and shoes on so fast and driven to the er that fast in my life. I sent out texts to those who had been chatting with me, And I called my dad. I knew if I heard my mom I was going to breakdown. So I had to call my dad and told him as calmly as I could that I was en route to the er per the dr office telling me I had to go right now because the virus moves fast and he said okay glad you’re going and I’ll tell mom just go and keep us updated. You grabbed your phone charger right? I was like ummm no. Crap but I’m fully charged love you!!! Then my bestie called me as I was pulling in. I shouldn’t have answered but knew she was worried! But that’s when I got a little scared and started crying. She assured me I was in the best hands and it would be okay. But pulling into the hospital parking lot it was so empty, a police vehicle had one of the entrances blocked off, we chatted and I cried and we said I love you. I walked in. That was a difficult walk. I tried to be calm but it was hard to breathe. I just kept thinking this is the longest walk ever! It was surreal to be there. I entered through the ER department, per my drs office telling me to go in there. You’re greeted by a security guard wearing a mask. I said I have covid-19 symptoms and was told to get to the ER now, he said please go in. I said thank you for working! I got a mask when I was in the waiting room of the lobby answering questions and I was the only one in there. A lady was there when I walked in but left and I could tell she was scared and I stayed as far back as I could from absolutely anyone and everyone! I thanked those working! I had to answer many questions and I was so winding I squatted down. I didn’t want to touch or sit down anywhere in case I did have corona virus...but man standing is hard. The nurse was working as quickly as she could. I was nervous and couldn’t think straight. They gave me a mask immediately too and I put it on wrong. A nice male nurse came out to the lobby and fixed it for me and put it on correctly while wearing gloves and a mask. When the nice nurse asking me so many questions wheeled me back in the ER I was scared but she had a good positive energy around here. It helped ease my fear. I’ve never seen or heard the ER so quite and no one around. Their is a section for us potential corona people and my goodness they have it organized and down to nearly perfection, it’s impressive at IU HEALTH BMH!!! It’s also terrifying. But I remained in my zen place. Idk how but I did. So we turned the corner and you see the hallway lined with red carts of equipment outside each room. My group of nurses were waiting for me outside the room. Over the speakers they announce “incoming patient room 38” so they are ready for when you’re wheeled back! I heard this ALL. DAY. I got in the room and they shut the big sliding glass door and curtain and I had to put on a gown. Then a nurse came in fully covered. Face mask, gloves, gown, protective eye wear. I was just thankful it wasn’t a hazmat suit. I would have cried and fully went into a panic attackS He was in the room with me for a long time. Other nurses stood outside, my private window view room, and handed him things through the crack of the door from the cart or ran and got him whatever was needed. This is so nothing was set down or touched by me or anything of the matter, I assume, Even when he was done touching me or near me he’d sanitize the gloves before taking them off and the gown and throw it in the bin before leaving the room. An outside nurse would slide the door open for him to fit thru and he’d slide out and it would be closed again. It’s extremely important they don’t touch anything as they could easily spread it or get it themselves. Everything was done with such precision and teamwork!!! AMAZING! Always nurses in the hall so if someone was in a room with a patient and their team of nurses were helping someone else, they would yell hey anyone in the hall that could hand me____. They had great spirits and were and are superhero’s in my eyes. At one point a janitor was cleaning my window door and he waved to me and I waved back. He gave me thumbs up or down and I did a thumbs up and tried to smile. It was just sweet. You better believe anyone I came in contact with I thanked! They were each taken back by that because it’s their job but I just had to thank them for being our hero’s!!! One nurse I said thank you, she said you already thanked me I checked you in, I said well I just appreciate ya all so much. She said rain or shine it’s what we do, I love what I do so I’m here. It makes me want to cry thinking about. I first got an EKG which was handed to my nurse in the room thru the opening. Another nurse stood in the hallway and recorded all info. After it was over he sanitized it so well and handed it back out to her. Again, he was in the room with me quite some time...To lighten the mood I made him and I plan out if zombies would attack what are game plan would be. But then I’d get coughing and oxygen levels would drop so the fun would be over til I would try to make another joke, because humor was the only way from keeping me from crying, being terrified and panicking. He was laughing himself. I said humor is getting me thru, he said I love your positivity!! You’re so sick and yet you’re a beacon of light. I said no sir, you are. The Dr came in and was amaaaaaaazing! He explained they would be testing for pretty much everything because they want to rule out as much as they can. So hence the ekg, tons of blood work, blood pressure monitored, I was hooked up to machines to monitor my heart I guess, cuz I accidentally took it off and boy did it make a loud annoying sound, iv of fluids, monitored my oxygen ya know all that fun stuff. My nurse got my iv thingy done in 1 poke, that rarely happens so I knew I was in great hands! He took so much blood! I was just like ya going to leave any for me? Again with the jokes. Then I’d have to stop cuz I couldn’t breathe. Dr. Also came in pretty quickly as my nurse was still working and charting things. He was dressed the same. He was awesome as well!!! I said thank you, he said what? I said thank you for doing what you do and helping me. He said I haven’t done anything yet. I said you’re here and you’re a hero thank you. He said wow, well it’s my job and I love it of course. Thank you. He explained that they were testing for everything; heart issues, blood clots, blood tests, flu to make sure it wasn’t any of that since I do have covid-19 symptoms he wanted to rule out that anything else could be going on, especially with my sinus and bronchitis history. The flu is going around as well. He explained that a few weeks ago if you tested positive for the flu you didn’t have covid-19 but NOW people are testing positive for both the flu and covid-19. He said it’s ever changing and he just has to make sure and rule out everything else. I was extremely grateful for his thoroughness and ALLLLLL my questions. He made me feel calm and in good hands in the chaotic scary situation I’m in. He said the virus does move extremely fast and it was so important that I listened to my dr and got here as fast as I did. He asked if I had been around or in contact with anyone who had it or symptoms. I said no and explained I had only been out a few times for groceries, gas, medicine, groceries to survive for a month. I explained everything I did and said I was the most cautious. Hand sanitizer with me, mask, washed hands constantly, stripped and washed clothes in hot water ASAP if I came in from outside, Clorox wipes highly touched surfaces etc. he said “it’s spreading like wildfire” He left and my nurse continued doing his awesome thing. He had been in a similar situation overseas before so I’m like I got the winning nurse suckers! Muhahahaha. He did things like take my temp (only time I removed the mask when he was in there) blood pressure, started iv, administers pain meds and a fever reducer, moves my bed up so I wasn’t wheezing and coughing so much...I feel like a few more things but I kinda lost track. He finally left and I was alone. I had the nurses call button, and a phone right next to me. I literally just was sitting/laying there taking everything in trying to remember how it looked and felt. I saw nurses walk by, some run by, janitors, people pushing machines, others calmly walking, but everyone had a face mask on! Another nurse would be walking by and I’d wave and they’d smile and wave back. You could tell they were trying to make us feel a sense of calmness and peace during this scary time. I witness patients being brought in, not many but I’d hear “incoming patient room 32” and I thought dang it no neighbor for me. I had a room kinda across from me and it was dark. I was kinda hoping for someone else to be there so I wouldn’t feel so alone. My friends who I told I was in the ER were amazing and I was keeping them entertained and them me. I was texting my family updates constantly as well as my besties. I was snap chatting friends. Anything to keep my mind occupied because I knew I would go into a panic attack which would cause even more distress. This big machine came rolling down the hallway. She stopped in front of my gorgeous window view room and I could see her putting on a gown and gloves and preparing and I thought, oh crap what’s that. My oxygen was dropping cuz of my panic. So I went to my zen place. Oxygen back up. She came in and it was an X-RAY machine! Yeah! They bring it to you so I put my mask on before she entered. I mean you do not leave that room! I thanked her for working. Again confusion. She said no problem happy to help I love what I do. See a pattern? Oh I just want to hug these heroes of ours! So she put this thing on my back. Told me to hold still and breathe in deep, that didn’t go well so we had to try again and move me over and she got it that time. She said I’d have results within probably 30 minutes. I thanked her again. She did the same as everyone else. Sanitized the gloves. Took off her gown. Sanitized again. Took off the gloves and someone opened the door for her. Okay, Back to people watching. But it wasn’t very hopping in the hallway. I thought of myself as an animal in the zoo locked behind glass. I feel sorry for them. I started to drift off and then would wake myself up hacking. Dr came and asked if he could stand at the door and had it slightly cracked, he didn’t have protective gear on, only a mask and the glasses, and I said oh of course. He told me that my blood work was great, flu test was negative, my vitals are the best in the er. However he feels I do have sinus infection and bronchitis and X-rays show I have pneumonia on my left lower lung, and my right lung has inflammation, and I have Covid-19, as I have all the symptoms. I just stared at him. (Hear people yelling codes and chaos something about respitory...his face changed and he looked around and said brb) and took off running with a slew of other nurses...idk where they were hiding. Then a second later he was back in my doorway and apologized profusely I said dr no need it’s a crazy intense time! He said where were we yes ok so this is...I cut him off and said doctor you are sure it’s my left lung? My right lung feels like it’s the one with pneumonia cuz it’s hurting and my back left area is hurting and feels like I’m being punched with bricks and everything in my chest front and back feels twisted all up. He explained how and why that is. He explained everything in such great detail and was just phenomenal. I can’t explain it. Then I said wait, so I have Covid-19? I’m just trying to process it all. He said you’re extremely sick. I said it’s how I roll and he just kinda laughed and said you poor thing. He said yes I am diagnosing you as being positive for covid-19 because you have every symptom and pneumonia. However, I’m not admitting you because your vitals are the best in the er, your age, and you are a healthy person. I’m admitting those with cancer, the elderly, and those with respitory illness. The only way to be tested is to be admitted and I just can not admit you when your vitals are the best, he said look your oxygen is back up to 100. But I’m only sending you home under “extreme caution” meaning if you can’t breath or get worse you immediately come back to the ER and we will admit you! You have to stay hydrated, get plenty of rest and stay quarantined for 7 days. I told him how scared I am to go home and ride this out alone when my dr office said the virus moves so quick and I could die. He said I understand and that’s why you’re under extreme caution and if anything changes you are to come back and we admit you. I just can not in good conscience admit you when you’re a healthy, young person who’s vitals are the best in this hospital. Which I understood. I hope I’ve helped describe it in the best way possible from my experience. Now the symptoms and onset: Diarrhea was first for I think 7-10 days until the other symptoms started (I could be wrong on the amount of days) then about 4-5 days before it was sinus problems that kept getting worse and slight throat off and on, then about 3-4 days before it was headaches/migraines but not my normal type. So if you are a chronic migraine suffer it will feel different. 1 day before which would have been Wednesday the migraine was awful and had vomiting with that and continually just didn’t feel well, couldn’t eat. The day they said I probably have Covid-19 and to start as DAY 1, Thursday. Day 1: Thursday morning I woke up feeling awful and sick. I couldn’t breathe out of my nose, migraine but again different like on top of my head and bottom of skull, and would go away and come back, still tummy issues but NO vomiting, my throat hurt and uvula swollen, sharp back pain, chest tightness, dry cough, occasional chest pain, chills, I think I had a fever but not 100% sure, and achey. I knew I was sick, it was sinus infection for sure and felt like bronchitis but also it hurt worse than that. Maybe walking pneumonia? But I don’t remember the back pain being that bad before. Barley slept. Just too much pain and coughing and muscle aches increased, couldn’t get comfortable, everything just hurt. Day 2: Friday morning when I woke up after just a few short hours oh my! I felt like I had been hit by a plane and a train and backed up over too. The chest pain and back pain was almost unbearable. Sore throat was worse, bright red and uvula swollen, it felt like sandpaper on my throat when I was swallowing, I couldn’t smell anything, wheezing even just laying there not doing anything, muscle aches and cramps, I woke up drenched in sweat but was freezing and couldn’t get warm, tummy issues with nausea, couldn’t really taste much, sneezing, dizzy, and just awful feeling. I felt like I couldn’t catch a good breath either. But I was determined to ride it out at home. Then as you know I had to go to the er. After the er the meds and the antibiotics they gave me and fluids I not only felt better I sounded and looked better! (I either am pale or red face when sick and fever and I was going back and forth between the two depending on the time of day) by Friday night I sounded almost normal, no wheezing, and had color back in my face!!! But it took me nearly 4 hours to finish 32 ounces of Gatorade because of my nausea and sore throat. I Barley slept. Rough night indeed. My pain level in the er was about a 7 sometimes 8, last night at times it would go to a 10 but drop back down quickly and I was breathing okay so I stayed home. I will admit I have zero pain tolerance. I’m a baby. Just couldn’t sleep. Was coughing/hacking a lot. Just when your body is all achey and your chest is so tight and hurts and your back feels like bricks are constantly punching you it’s hard to sleep. Day 3: Saturday morning I woke up and got about 5-6 hours of sleep which I was excited about!! I wanted to go back to sleep but I know per my PCP I HAVE to drink 8 ounces of fluid every hour and I’m failing at this. And the er dr said it’s extremely important to stay hydrated so I was not allowing myself to go back to sleep til I got fluids in me. I called my parents to check in and knew mom would help hold me accountable to get liquids, food in me so I could take meds. You’re the best mommy! But oh my. I thought Friday morning was bad. Saturday morning I had everything I did the day before except wheezing! Yay! Well, until I stood up and walk a few steps. Wheezing, heavy breathing and hard to catch my breath. Also...Sooo dizzy. Almost fell over a few times. I have vertigo a lot with my migraines so I’m a pro balancer. Hehehe. And my head is just extreme pain today it’s top and middle of skull and been constant with extreme waves of pressure. But what was so different besides the extreme dizziness was the fatigue! You would think I ran a triathlon. I had to take breaks to get places in my house. Usually I’m zip zapping around in seconds with Bella chasing me. Today she was so confused. She also doesn’t leave my side when I’m sick and she’s been distancing herself so that’s been a lil strange. She still comes and checks on me but it’s not my usual kitty. They say to stay away from your pets so maybe she is picking up on something. Poor Bella boo. Okay sorry got side tracked. Literally no drama picking up a 32 ounce bottle of Gatorade was too heavy for me. Are you kidding? A week ago I was carrying a bag of 6 of them in one hand. Nausea comes and goes but I have no appetite. I don’t want to eat or drink, but I know I have too and I’m forcing myself liquids. I took a 3 hour nap this afternoon and I’m keeping myself elevated with multiple pillows to help with the congestion and coughing. The pain in my back and chest hurts, it’s constant pain and tightness and you can’t feel like you ever get a good deep breath. Day 4: Sunday I got a little bit more sleep (7 hours) and woke up feeling a little better. Not as fatigued. Headache but not migraine. Overnight was rough!!!! Saturday into Sunday I was in a lot of pain and couldn’t get a good breath. I found a video online of an ICU nurse that went viral about the cupping/patting technique. Someone is supposed to cup their hands and pat on your back, it breaks up the mucus. With covid-19 the mucus sticks to your lungs and you can’t breathe etc. my anxiety was like oh no this is why I can’t breathe well and I didn’t want to go to the er as I know they’ll admit me. Space is limited. I can ride this out. I want that for those that truly need it, that have husband and kids, that have a huge house full of people that they can’t isolate from, a Grandma, idk...I just it may sound silly to you but it’s how I feel. I can’t get over the er dr telling me I had the best vitals in the er when everyday you hear others are dying. So I threw myself up against a wall protecting my head and could feel the mucus come up as I was staring to choke a bit and cough! Woah! It works. It hurt extremely bad but it was working so I continued it. It wore me out so I’d take a break and do it again. It worked because I spit up some mucus. I started to realize what was happening...oh no. I’m really sick. I started getting emotional and text my bestie...golly I am extremely grateful for 3/4 am convos with my bestie who has a newborn because I was in a lot of pain, my breathing was hard, and just starting to realize the severity of what’s happening to me. Finally I drifted off to sleep. Again woke up feeling a bit better. My chest didn’t feel as tight, I felt more with it not so in a dream foggy state, but my left arm was a bit swollen hot to touch and had some red splotches. Hmm. What’s that about? Well, My parents, my living angels, dropped off Gatorade, tea, sugar soup, muffins, etc and it was just so amazing to wake up to those texts and that stuff on my front porch. I can’t emphasize enough, although they don’t tell me I KNOW they are having a hard time...they are so scared and feel absolutely helpless. I feel so bad for doing this to them. I was able to pick up the bag of Gatorade! Remember yesterday I couldn’t even lift 1 Gatorade-woah! This is exciting! I walked to the kitchen without having to take a break. Again exciting. But I was still so dizzy and almost fell. Thankfully the stove and cabinets caught me. I was like a pin ball all day slamming into things left and right and bouncing off them. Good lord. And it’s not like vertigo. It’s like you’re walking fine and then boom you’re in a door. Well how’d that happen. Bella found this amusing. She came out of isolation a bit today and hung out with me which was really nice to get some kitty cuddles. My cheeks still red so I’m pretty sure running a fever and still cold constantly. Throat feels a little better. Oh what’s that I’m hungry?! Yesss! One bite and I’m full. Dang. Still can’t taste or smell. And my nose is super stuffy. I drank hot tea which was amazing on my sore throat! And it helps break the mucus up. I did finally take a shower tonight!!!! I realized in the shower since I was standing I still have a broken toe. My poor body, it doesn’t know what to fix! I got completely fatigued during and after. But the steam and hot water felt so nice. I had to take multiple breaks just to finish and walk to my room like 5 steps away. I was spent!!! Also I started noticing later tonight my right side of my back is also in a lot of pain like my left. Yikes. I’m losing track of time. I thought it was like 2 pm and it was 5:30 pm. I thought it was like 9 and it was nearly midnight. I know I need more sleep. I did a little better today getting liquids down! Nausea care back. Had to call the er for some questions, they referred me to the virtual screening nurses, so I think this is going to be a nightly thing...on Thursday my breath test I got to 10. Tonight I got to 6/7 and that’s being generous it was more like a 5/6 But since I feel somewhat okay the nurse consulted with the dr and said I could be transferred to the on call Drs and pay or to call my dr in the morning and discuss with her my arm, as they noticed what I was seeing (swollen and red splotches) and it’s the opposite arm of iv, and also about my breathing. I decided to consult my dr in the am. As I was trying to sleep I got an intense sharp pain in my back on the left that had me in tears. It went away after about a minute. I hope I can work tomorrow but the dr wrote me off for two weeks. The best way to describe this for me, remember I have multiple things not just covid-19, is having a cold, the tummy flu, pneumonia, and mono all at once.

[bvrnedtm]

( danielle campbell, she/her ) — here ye, here ye, behold the lady of winterfell, ryella stark née frey. the twenty-four year old is known for being gentle but has the tendency to be timid too, which should be expected of the grey lady. ( you disappear in a room full of people, just as you’ve learned to do to survive. scars litter your skin to tell a tale of a more than troubled childhood. you have suffered and feared for the worst in an initially loveless marriage. yet time has passed and you have finally found comfort in one you never expected to love you or love in return. )

TRIGGERS: miscarriage, depression, postpartum

about me:

I’m not the best with talking about myself, so bear with me. I go by Liv, I’m 24 years old, and I live in the EST timezone. Pronouns are she/her. Um…I like to think I’m a fairly chill person, generally speaking. I’m not in school right now, but I do work the morning shift five days a week at a bagel shop. That means I’m usually up early, so I tend to head to bed early-ish as well. Exceptions being Friday and Saturday, as I don’t work weekends.

Oh! I also have a dog named Lucy, though we also call her Lucille cuz she’s an old lady. Yes, it’s a reverse nickname. Anyways, she’s a yellow lab, nine years old, and fully blind. But before you let that last bit get ya down, rest assured that she is still one of the happiest puppers you will ever know. A legit sweet baby angel.

discord is thrift store hobbit#5805

basics:

Name: Lady Ryella Alys Stark, née Frey, of Winterfell House: Frey (by blood) & Stark (by marriage) Age: 24

personality:

Ryella has never been someone that one would describe as brave. Fact of the matter is, not many people would know just how to describe her. Not because she is any sort of enigma, but merely due to the fact that she’s never been able to stand out in a crowd. But then, perhaps that’s been by choice. She’s always been fairly shy, after all. It takes time to get to know her, to learn how to move aside the curtain to find the truly kind and gentle girl hiding just behind it. Effort most don’t seem to deem worthy of their time.

quick facts:

This bit is gonna be a mess cuz it’s just a quick jumble of facts

married to Henrik Stark

they have a beautiful 3 month old daughter named Arya

he truly is the love of her life, despite how rocky they may have started off

dubbed the Grey Lady due to her ability to disappear like a ghost

honestly one of the gentlest people out there

like, she is hella soft once you get past her initial shyness

a few weeks before her wedding to Henrik, he was meant to visit House Frey in order to finalize everything

he sent his twin in his place as a sort of test

 only after the short visit had concluded did Ryella send a letter to to the real Henrik asking if he was alright 

as she assumed his brother had been in his place due to illness

she simply hadn’t said anything at the time, as she didn’t wish to embarrass him or his family so close to the wedding

suffice to say she passed their little test

background:

Eldest of two, Ryella is the only daughter born to the ruling lord of House Frey. Even from a young age, she knew her main purpose in this life was to be married off in order to buy some sort of alliance with another house. This knowledge, however early it came, never made the socialization aspect of her life any easier. Ever the timid spirit, she was far more content to keep herself hidden in the shadows of a room. Happier to hold her tongue than risk speaking up only to say the wrong thing, or worse, to make no sound at all. It seemed that for all she made up in looks, her skittish nature made her undesirable as a wife. Were it not for a needed bond between the house of Frey and Stark, who knows if she ever would have wed. 

Ryella was fourteen when a betrothal between herself and Lord Henrik of House Stark was put into motion. However, it wouldn’t be until four years later that the wedding would actually occur, due to complications caused by the death of Henrik’s father. After nearly three years of discussions and hammering out the details of the agreement, the betrothal was finally set back into motion. In order to help the future couple get to know one another a bit better, Ryella was sent to stay in Winterfell for about a month. The first few days together were spent in near complete silence, neither one speaking in an otherwise empty room. Then the weather took a turn for the worst, the cold seeping into the young lady’s bones even with a roaring fire. 

The chill was a blessing in disguise. One moment Ryella was trembling in her chair, and in the next she was covered in more blankets than she could count. It seemed that Henrik had noticed the girl’s trembling even as she’d kept herself quiet. Finally their silence was broken as she uttered a soft ‘thank you.’ The first of many words that would follow, as the two seemed to grow close after that initial ice breaker. It was an unlikely match, but one that the Frey was more than grateful to have been blessed with, as she knew she was amongst the lucky.

Luck, however, has a strange way of shifting when needed most. After her wedding to Henrik at eighteen (he was twenty-two), the couple had difficulty in conceiving a child. A misfortune that followed them for the first three years of their marriage. Sadly, even when they did manage a pregnancy, fate was still against them. Ryella suffered an early miscarriage, and with that came a depression that sometimes haunts her even now. Henrik was supportive, of course, mourning the loss with her while doing everything he could to assure her that there was no blame to be had in what happened. 

The years that followed were difficult. Yes, Ryella wanted to give her beloved husband a child, but fear of another loss seemed to stand in her way. It took months before she could get into the mood to make love. Even then, she couldn’t stop the sense of guilt that followed. Guilt worsened by the return of their inability to conceive. The fact was, even if Henrik refused to lay blame for all that had happened, Ryella believed it was somehow her fault. That there must have been something wrong with her.

It was a belief proven wrong when she grew pregnant for the second at age twenty-three. The first few months were filled with a terror she’d never known. Ryella prayed daily for the baby, and rarely ever left Henrik’s side for fear she’d simply crumble without his presence. The relief she felt the day Arya was born couldn’t be expressed in mere words. She would deem it a miracle, her sweet baby girl a gift she never thought she’d receive. Until then Ryella had listed her wedding as her happiest moment. She’d never been so glad to be proven wrong. Even now, three months later, one could easily catch her staring at the infant in disbelief. 

tags:

☙🕯❧ better keep my eyes wide open // visage ☙🕯❧  they keep screaming louder and louder // musings ☙🕯❧  your heart beats like a marching drum // playlist ☙🕯❧  we all got nightmares in our dreams // aesthetic ☙🕯❧  i have cold blood even in a sweater // wardrobe ☙🕯❧  i can hear your heart beating on the bars // physique ☙🕯❧  started saying if you can’t hide run // moodboard ☙🕯❧  i tell them my story it’s never enough // about ☙🕯❧  everybody’s been talking believe it or not // mention ☙🕯❧  and words got shorter quiet got longer // conversations ☙🕯❧  i don’t wanna fight // meme ☙🕯❧  gonna leave it behind // answered ☙🕯❧  wild heart // ooc

if you have any questions or would like to plot, feel free to hmu to chat !!

[elejah-wonderland]

The Sun and The Moon Curse/7

Fanfiction

Part 7

Elijah Mikaelson x Elena Gilbert

ft other tvd characters - Klaus Mikaelson, Katherine Pierce, Esther Mikaelson

set after tvd 3x14/15

Summary: Elijah asks Elena at the Mikaelson Ball to tell her what his mother wanted from her. Elena divulges Esther’s plan to the Original, and as the ritual fails, Elena goes away from Mystic Falls with Elijah. How will their lives change as Klaus can’t make anymore hybrids...

a/n: There is quite a bit of invented mythology from me. Thanks so much for reading this story, as it was my first tvd story ever. xoxo

tags @rissyrapp20 @dendrite-lover @captainshurley @cassienoble2000 @goddessofthunder112 @elejahforever @hides2000 @idkhaylijah

if anyone wants to be removed from the tag list, please let me know. xoxo

____

In the most elegant tiny attic apartment, Elijah and Elena laid together, eyes lost in a loving gaze. His fingers streamed lovingly over her arms, whispering a small I love you, making Elena’s heart shoot in million stars.

“I love you, too”- Elena said dearly and leaned over to the Original kissing him.

Drawing her closer to him, Elena snuggled up to the Original, laying her head on his chest, making loving circles around his stomach now, listening to his heart.

“I couldn’t stop thinking about you after our talk in the Lockwood Mansion”- Elena now admitted. 

Elijah wetted his lips now, a smile danced on his face, sharing the same sentiment-

“Likewise. But I must say that I was taken in the night we negotiated in your bedroom- your feisty, daring nature - was compelling- but - yes - it was then, when you returned to the Mayor’s house - walking through that door - determined to set the whole world on fire - in actual fact - you delving into my soul with a mere look into my eyes - “ 

Elena now beamed her look up at the Original. She clearly remembered that moment, and what she had seen - yes, he had cared about Katherine, but he had expressed that she had moved him, and that she was the one that shook his undead heart then. 

“You - say that you will not make the same mistake again?”

“Oh, please don’t remind me of what I had said then.”- Elijah said brushing his thumb over her cheek lovingly and continued- “I was in love once before - and - “

“Katherine?”

“No. A witch. But it does not compare - not that I wish to compare - because you are unique. Your soul, your heart - does not - could not match any other woman- ever.” 

Elena’s eyes glisten with tears brought up by the Original’s declaration. She thought she was in love before, but this was something that she could not describe. She felt she could touch the moonlight, her heart was shooting stars as he now pulled her to him, kissing her even more tenderly than before. 

*******

Elsewhere

It was obvious to Yizel that Klaus would use all the resources possible to mask his whereabouts as Katherine and her found themselves yet again on a wild goose chase.

"To find a needle in a haystack would be easier."- " let's find Elena.

"If they are hiding so well, something is going on and you haven't told me the whole story."- Yizel said- " I think it's time you told me exactly what had happened."

Katherine rolled her eyes and then started with the rest of the story that took place and the story of her doppelganger and the Mikelsons supposed demise. 

The witch now asked Katherine to pour the blood in a bowl. It wasn’t hard to locate Elena. They soon were on their way to Bucharest.

Katherine smirked with gladness that at least some things were finally going the  way she wanted them to. The hatred she had harboured for the doppelganger couldn't be described. More than five hundred years of survival killed all real emotions in her. She wanted revenge and she didn't care what price she or anyone in her way would pay.

*******

Bucharest, Romania

Having eventually left the bed, Elijah and Elena left the villa as she wanted to see some of the city, do ordinary stuff, as she said. And she loved listening to him telling her his views about things and historical points. She could listen to him for hours. There was something in his voice that was inviting, calming and captures the listener fully. He told her about the time when the merchants and craftsmen established their stores in the early 1400s in the old district. She then asked about the infamous count Dracula, as they came to the place where the remains of the Old Princely Court was, and Elijah told the true gruesome story of the count Vlad Tepes, his victorious yet bloody battles against Turkish invasion, which was far different from the folklore built around him, and the fact that his younger brother had betrayed him, after which his decline was imminent. Elena could notice that Elijah's tone changed as he spoke about the count's brother.  

"You agreed to Lia's deal-and it's not easy, you feel like you have betrayed him!"

"Elena, we had this conversation, not once. Klaus and I-you see- I failed him in so many ways. I have treated him like a spoiled child. Father used to beat him because he was not his son- and I tried to compensate somehow for all that time- I am very much to blame for who he is now,and I made a promise once a long time ago 'family above all-"

Elena could see that he was in great pain and he didn't hide it.

"You wished there was another way?!!"- she said empathically, understanding the complexity of it all.

"We both know that there is no other way. Lia offering him a human life. Maybe he can find some redemption in it- I just- let's continue walking shall we?!"- he said suddenly composing himself again.

"Elijah?! "- Elena laid her hand on the Original’s arm- " this is not your fault, nothing that Klaus does is your fault!"

There it was, her compassion trying to balance it all out. Her eyes truthfully believing in him and his redemption. She had the love he needed to see him through. He smiled a little and said- "Shall we?!" She nodded and they proceeded in silence.

As they came up to the Old Court Church. Elena wanted to go in.

"I will be waiting here for you."- Elijah said. She understood that he could not go in and then felt badly for a moment, but he urged her to go.

"I- well-I kind of want to light a candle for Damon. I don't know if it is right him being what he was."

"You should."- the Original nodded a little. 

"Yes. I was so mad at him -cuz of the compulsions and - but he was there for me and when I left we didn't leave things in a good place, and I just-"

"Elena, he was human once and he had a soul.It doesn't matter where you do it! I'll wait here for you." - Elijah said dearly.

"Thank you"- she said and walked into the church. It was a small, but magnificently beautiful. She felt a tad bit strange to do this as he was a vampire, yet Elijah's words reminded him that once he was a human.

Elena came to the part where many yellow candles were burning for the souls of the loved ones. She lit a candle and placed it among the others. She needed to say goodbye to the vampire and thank him for having cared for her. 

"I hope you are at peace now, Damon."

She looked around a little bit, and then walked slowly back to the entrance. Seeing Elijah patiently waiting for her to exercise something private made her heart flutter.

"Everything all right?!"- the Original asked politely, stating the obvious as she nodded with a little smile.

"I am a bit hungry." - Elena then said.

"Of course. You didn't have any breakfast. I am sorry."- and it seemed like they were back on with their plan to take time to themselves and indulge in being nothing else but tourists, a couple visiting and simply enjoying each other's company.

"I bet you know a good place?!"

Elijah nodded with a small smirk dancing on his face. They walked away from the church/ She took him by the hand and the Original couldn’t help but glance at his hand in hers. It felt unusual as he wasn't accustomed to those kind of public displays of affection. 

“Everything ok?”- Elena asked.

“Perfectly.”- Elijah confirmed squeezing her hand lightly - “this way”

And they walked in the direction he pointed, hand in hand, followed by the sunshine behind them.

********************

In the Old Town, not far from the Church Elena and Elijah walked out of

Lia looked at her watch. It was nearly five in the afternoon. She drank her tea and enjoyed the buzzing café full of people.Then a woman in her late fifties came to her.

"Esther Mikaelson."- Lia said- "nice to finally meet you. I am Lia Vladu. Please sit down. I'd  like to discuss with you something that would be of great interest to both of us."

******

Meanwhile in another part of Europe

Klaus wasn't very kind to the young witch, and there was no business deal to discuss. The poor woman laid in the bath tub as he'd overpowered her and mercilessly killed her.

"You do not play with me!"- he hissed as he got out of the hotel room.

Feride felt the demise of the young witch as if something had stabbed her right in the stomach. Lia felt the same. Just before Lia was to enter the villa with Esther, she stood as if she couldn't get any breath.

"Are you all right?"-Esther asked.

"Fine"- Lia said, although she knew that something was seriously wrong.

The women entered the house.

"This is a beautiful house"- Esther complimented her.

"Well, thank you. Please, if you would come through here"- Lia lead Esther into the living room.

The witch then murmured words in the old Dacian language sealing the room closed.

"What is this?"- Esther could feel a strange surge of magic enveloped her.

"Unfortunately, I had to contain you. I didn't really think that you were so strong minded."

"You brought me here on false pretences?!"- Esther said openly showing that she wasn't happy about what had occurred.

"I have no choice. I have to protect Elena and your son. You are unfortunatelly in my  way."

"My children will bring you nothing but misery!"- Esther said agitated a bit, continuing- "I don't understand why you cannot see what abomination they are!"

"It is too late for being regretful about what you have done a thousand years ago. We have to fight the hybrids and I will need all your children on my side-at least those who want to go against them!"

Lia then heard Elijah and Elena enter the Villa. She excused herself and went out to meet them in the Hall.

*************************

In Germany

Feride felt that the power of five reincarnated witches break as one of the witches was now dead.

With her eyes full of tears she slammed down on the floor. She took time to mourn the passing. It was a harsh world, she knew that, and all she knew about the deadly soul of the most notorious vampire, now hybrid, came true.

"He will kill -and he would not think twice about it"- she remembered the lines she read about Niklaus Mikaelson.

With a heavy heart she got up and went to call Lia.

In Bucharest, both Elena and Elijah met Esther once again face to face. The Original witch couldn't get to them as she was now held captive, but they could converse. Elena wanted to leave mother and son on their own, but Elijah said that whatever was to be said could be done in her presence too.

"I wanted to mend my mistake!"- Esther started.

Elijah was serious. It was now time to finally speak with all cards openly laid down on the table.

"I can understand that."- Elijah said sincerely - "but you knew what was going to  happen-you were a witch, and not just any!"

"You know of survival-I have been motivated to save my family-and after Henrik was killed-"

"Yes"- Elijah muttered, his face getting grim. He understood that part as he also would do anything to save his family.

"But-I have to carry this burden, I guess...like you have to carry yours!"- Esther said.

Elijah knew what she was talking about, as he had a great share of trespasses to live with himself.

She turned to Elena now.

"I see that you and Elijah share more than just a friendly understanding. Maybe for some reason he does deserve some light in his life! Still, never forget what he is!"

Elena's sombre face indicated that she understood what Esther meant. Without saying anything to it Elena just walked out of the room. Her heart felt like it was hit with dark magic. She felt an unsual pain in her gut.

Elijah went after the doppelganger rushly.

In the library, Lia finished her conversation with Feride. She brushed the tears off of her face as she put the phone down.

There was more carnage to follow and the witches knew that.

She now took a moment to reconsider what would be the next step. Time could not be wasted. Once again she read about the ritual that was to take place. She calculated out the moon and the sun conjunction that was to happen before she had planned it, and what the implications it would bring if brought forward.

In the attic apartment Elena nervously undid her coat and tossed it on the bed.

"Elena"- Elijah said concerned as he walked in after her.

She looked at him worried.

"I don't like her being here!"- Elena said- "with all that happened last time- I mean-I know we brought her back-but-huh!!! "

"Lia needs Esther for the ritual!"- Elijah said seriously.

Elena could see the transformation in Elijah. He seemed to have closed himself off again.

"Demons and darkness"- Elena thought. She sighed.

He now turned away from the window-

"You will have to be stronger than you have ever been!"- he said to her.

"Why are you saying this!?"

"I just got a message from Niklaus! He knows what we are up to!" 

Elena felt like the blood in her veins froze. They were both quiet for a moment.

"What now?"- Elena uttered.

"Well-we still have a powerful witch on our side...she must come up with something."

And, indeed it was so. Lia called them to the library not long after. She told them what had happened, and that now they were in a dangerous limbo. But the very resourceful witch had a solution.

"We know now the cause of the mutation"-Lia said- "but that is the least of my worries. We have lost a witch that was necessary to complete the ritual to close the circle to end the hybrid gene. But we are looking for a witch that is born with the mark of Earth so we can complete the ritual when the time comes. Now to more pressing matters- before the first dark red 'blood moon' appears we have to complete the Sun and the Moon conjunction ritual, so we have two that can fight against the hybrids holding the same powers as once the witch-slayers had.

The scrolls say that Elena is the bearer of the Sun and you Elijah the Moon."

What does that mean?"- Elena inquired.

"You are speeding thing up!? Would you care to explain?!" - Elijah looked at her poignantly.

"Because the Tetrad is about to set in and it gives the hybrids great power-when the sun, the moon and Mars are aligned -they create a passage of six full moons. You know what full moons enable the werewolf to do. You will be able to fight them when they are either vampire or werewolf. You two drawing power from the doppelganger and vampire will  have equal power against them. Although you are an Original you are still so much weaker than you brother, or isn't it so?! This conjuction will enable Elena and you to be as strong as a hybrid, and she will not anymore be merely a human."

"Will I become a vampire?"- Elena then asked.

"No. You will still remain human, but you will be Immortal nevertheless, as you will become the reincarnation of the sidhe-spirit, the first, Zana, from whom the first vampires were created."

"That is not what you were suggesting earlier?"- Elijah wanted to know.

"No. I received some more disturbing news, namely, the hybrids have made covenant with witches and warlocks who practice dark magic- and that your brother is meeting them!"

"What proof do you have?"- Elijah said.

"This" and Lia put her hand on Elijah's forehead and what Feride had teleported to Lia she now did to him. It showed Klaus with the mutated hybrid called Julius.

As she finished Elijah moved away from her as if stung by a wasp.

"Elijah"- Elena said as she saw that his facial expression got darker. All he told Elena before the ritual in Mystic Falls now was coming to be.  

"I couldn't kill him-he is my brother!"- the Original muttered.

"I know!"- Lia sympathized with him- "but you knew what would come to pass!"

"Yes"- he said faintly- "if I agree to all this-we still have a deal-you turn him into human!"- he demanded.

"I can sign it in my own blood if you want!"- Lia said coolly.

Elena's mind was racing now. She felt exactly the same as the day when she found out Klaus had arrived in Mystic Falls and the only clear thing was to undagger Elijah.

"I am willing to do it!"- Elena said resolved- "I want to fight them." 

Elena looked Elijah wanting him to declare the same.

He knew that she wouldn't take anything less than a straight answer.

"We do this!"- Elijah said looking at Elena and then at Lia.

"I will make the preparations. We need to depart for Cluj-Napoca as soon as possible!"

"And Esther?"

"She remains here. She will be safe!"- Lia confirmed.

Not long after, the trio made their way to Transylvania.

***************** 

Elsewhere

Klaus sat down with Julius, who was the leader of the twelve hybrid packs.

"I know  that you have stolen the precious doppelganger blood bags!"- Klaus said calmly, but the blood in him was boiling.

"Unlike you, we only need now a few drops for the werewolf to change into the hybrid thanks to my mother, the hybrid witch!"

"Your mother?"- Klaus asked.

"Yes. she is a hybrid and yet she kept all her witchcraft-"- Julius said.

Klaus was quiet. He was there to collect information, and didn't like what he was hearing.

"I am listening"- Klaus said cleverly playing the game of someone who had thousand years of cunningness.

"I hear that the doppelganger has escaped!" - Julius remarked.

"She is with my brother! We are out of blood bags, aren't we?! Guess what - I don't negotiate with thieves!"- and Klaus vamped out, attacking Julius who fought back with the same strength that Klaus had. Everyone present watched how the two bit one another and charged at each other over and over again as rabid dogs.

"Enough!"- the witch waved and the magic separate them. They parted for a moment and stood still, not changing back into the human form just yet.

"Yes, he stole from you, as I have instructed him so. You don't negotiate with an Original. And we needed the blood to work the spell. I apologize, but it is in our best interest! You may think that your brother is on your side- but we know of his alliance with witches who try to kill all hybrids even you!"

"You think that I don't know that the witches are on my case. I have killed one of them! And as for your information. I have received fresh blood bags. You see, we are a close family, and my brother is only keeping the doppelganger safe from the likes of you!"

"Calm down. This is exactly what they want- to divide and make us weak!"- Julius now said.

"My son is right. Join us, Niklaus Mikaelson, and our power will be infinite!"- the witch said.

Klaus retreated to reconsider the offer. He didn't like what he had heard and that there was now a witch that was also a hybrid werewolf/vampire. He didn't believe it could ever happen.

**********

Cluj-Napoca, Romania

Elena, Elijah and Lia arrived in the north-western city of Cluj- Napoca, Transylvania, sometime before midnight.  

Lia told Elena a bit more about the history of Dacians. Elena wanted to know more about Zana, whose spirit she would be assuming in the ritual that was about to take place the following night.  

"She was the spirit of nature, which you are too, because you are the doppelganger-you will know once it is done, as you are a reincarnation as well."- Lia said.

When they arrived in the apartments Lia had organized for them, Elijah asked to see the text in the scrolls that talks about them.

Elena made herself comfortable in one of the bedrooms. She took a shower, needing time to herself. He heart felt like it separated into million pieces. She felt she grew more mature in the past few months. Curiously, she felt a strange calm envelope her.

As she got dressed, she decided not to join Elijah and the witch in the lounge. She laid down on the bed. Her thoughts were with her friends and her brother, and the life that now was so far away. At one point she fell asleep.

When Elijah got in, Elena woke up. He sat on the bed next to her. She could see in his look that he was still very worried. She sat up.

"We will be bonded for all eternity."- the Original then said.

"I know. I understood all what Lia was saying. Sometimes it feels like I dreamed this moment- all of this. Like I have always known but it wasn't clear, now it kind of is-I used to lay down in my bed in Mystic Falls and thought about the future, and- I dreamed of this guy, wondering who he was, where he was. In my heart -you know when it all fits and you know it but you can't understand how that is. Where you go, I go. It's so clear to me. Give me your hand" - Elena said.

He put her hand out to her and she took it.

"I love you. And I know now that it was always you!"

"I love you so- more. I never could have imagined how real love can be!"- he uttered- then looked deep into her eyes, which responded with warmth and love, he then said -

"I would be honoured if you would enter into this as my betrothed?!"

"Yes."- Elena nodded smiling a little- and then embraced him dearly.

In the apartment next door Lia wrote a message to her fellow witch Feride.

*************

At the same time in Germany, Feride opened the door of her flat to a woman in her thirties, who introduced herself as Adelheid Friedrich. She showed the witch the mark of caduceus and Feride smiled relieved that she found a fellow reincarnated witch. She invited her in and the two women commenced  exchanging all that is to do with the strange occurrences that were taking place.

____

[curupiracue]

Planning (or attempts to)

“Dammit Novalue, we wasted too much time! Were i-?!” I suddenly interrupt myself when a certain bitch enters my field of vision, walking out of an alley. She notices me too, stops, sits down and all but flat-out tells me to go to the Mental World.

Novalue notices it too, and looks at me, silently asking what we should do.

“She probably knows the situation better. So if she isn’t pursuing the serial killer, that means there is not much I can do…” My tone of voice rapidly changes to something enthusiastic “Now! The question is, should we take this chance to shoot her in the head, or just shoot her in the head?”

“I’m not participating if you decide to fight her, unless it’s on the off-chance you’re about to get yourself killed.”

“Muri! How the hell would that happen? I’m as invincible as a diamond in a cutting contest, and she is no hammer! Nyahahah!”

‘This time, Novalue sighs.

“Well? Shall we go?”

“Mm. Yes, let’s.”

(Entering the nowhere of importance. Wait patiently, if you will?)

The moment we get there, Wims (tries) to joyfully greet us.

“Why, hel-”

“HOW IN THE SEVEN HELLS DID YOU MANAGE TO LET HIM ESCAPE!?!”

“...Well, so much for the passive-aggressive beginning.” She replies dryly, without any of the previous fake merriness

“Ooh~? I have no problems with that. I’m friends with passive-aggressiveness, differently from you and catching criminals~” Hahah! Now that caused some umbrage, I can see it in her expression~

“Well… Sorry if I can’t catch a coward that runs away. Maybe if I had your help… oh, but you couldn’t be bothered.”

“Oh? You’d need me? Heheheh, no, that’s not a surprise, see, I’m actually just shocked because you’re willing to admit this in all your arrogance.”

“Not necessarily in combat. I could have gathered as much info as I wanted about his powers and his schedule, if only you had told me about the circumstance. But you’re too petty for that, aren’t you Nim? Would rather let people potentially die, I guess.”

“Well, YEAH! I couldn’t care less about that. You on the other hand, seems to be enjoying playing little goody two shoes without actually being one. Or trying to be one. That’s as miserable as a fish out of water… on a volcano.”

“Oh, I’m not good by any stretch. I just meant to say that anyone with a shred of morality is more moral than you, you hyper-sociopath. Remind me to beat you to a pulp one of these days, yeah?”

“Huhh?! One of these days? Why not right now? The serial killer isn’t coming back, so you’re not risking anything other than learning the fact that you cannot possibly hope to beat me.”

“Last time says otherwise.”

“Last time you had an advantage, bitch.”

“Hohoh! Then I guess it’s about time I prove I don’t need one.”

She started walking in my direction, and I did the same.

“Wouldn’t write a thesis about that. Speaking of writing, considering you’ll be left mentally crippled for life, I wonder who is going to write the article about your demi-WAAHH?!?”

“Hu-Uwoooh?!”

(The prism spins, and senseless light is reflected with a different sense)

To say that I didn’t see this coming would be equal to lying, but it escalated a little bit too fast. Thankfully, I had time to set up two unreal areas while they were distracted. The moment they gave their first steps, their legs entered unreality, and without support, so did the rest of the body.

Pop.

Ttuumm.

“Guh!”

“Ugh.”

And then I popped the unreal areas back into existence, making both Nim and Wims fell on the ground.

“That’s enough, you two.”

(The prism spins, and senseless light is reflected with a different sense)

...Well, that caught me by surprise. Novalue’s the type of underdog that wins by being surprisingly powerful when and where you least expect it.

Unreality… His primary construction. The power to make it so that anything within a certain area ceases to affect the other world. Well. It’s annoyingly more complex than that. But who in their right would be describing that as their leg suddenly disappear and they fall nowhere? I mean… sure, the construction can’t actually hurt anything, since whatever is in unreality is still connected to the part that is still real, but like… explaining crap like this, it’s like we’re on a book or something!

(The prism spins, and senseless light is reflected in all different senses)

“Yes you are.”

(The prism spins, and senseless light is reflected with a different sense)

“(very) exasperated sigh) Nim, you’re being an idiot because you refuse to cooperate with her even though the situation calls for it. Wims, you’re being an idiot because you refuse to acknowledge the circumstance. What Nim wants to do would be hardly detrimental. Don’t say that he didn’t even ask either: it’s obvious you would have killed the murderer behind our backs if he did. Hell, you attacked them even when we were obviously planning something. I’m honestly sick and tired of having to watch you two degenerate into fighting like two brats every time we speak.”

“Ugh… I suppose I deserved that.”

“Tsk. Fair enough. But, Novalue, you’re wrong on one account: I didn’t attack him while knowing of your plan: I was just warned of something interesting and after sensing that man’s power, I guessed the rest.”

“You were warned through the crow… Then, did you receive information such as the killer’s face and overall appearan-”

“Of course not, dumbass. That crow… probably died...”

Oh.

Well, at least Nim’s being sensitive about it.

Wims seemed to have a rare moment of sentimentality. But her stoic nature and the ease to manipulate our Mental World’s avatars made it hard for me to see it.

“Yes, quite… So I’m in quite the sore mood now. That bastard killed Jesus… this can’t be allowed.” She clenched her fist with anger and looked at us.

“So. Here’s the reason I called you here, to the Mental World...” She put her hand on her head and pulled photos out of it, right before tossing them to us.

In those photos, were…

A knife.

A man shrouded in fog.

And an arm holding a knife, attempting to stab her.

“There are...”

“...Not reminiscence photos.”

“Huh?”

“Ugh, for fuck’s sake Novalue, you’re useless. ...They don’t have that feeling of power. These are probably… ordinary images, manifestations of her memory. They look like those photos cuz’ it was probably easier to re-use the frame.”

“Precisely. Well, normally, since these are just memories created and stored naturally without use of a construction, there would be inaccuracies… But since I am flawless, so are these.”

Nim took a good look at the photo he was holding.

“Don’t even think about it.”

“Huh, what~?”

Ugh… What a pest. Well, anyway...

She couldn’t hear the word of Jesus, but still managed to come up with something of her own… So she is muslim?

...No, that joke was awful. Nim would complain about imprecisions too.

“Anyway! Ms. Fourt-”

“Oh, please dispense with the formalities~”

“...Alright bitch, tell us what you know.”

(Time passes...)

“In addition to that...”

“You’re going to say that he detected us, aren’t you? ‘Cause I already kn-”

“Stop being such a glory hound. That said… yes. You were far away, but he managed to detect you, that or he made a random turn for no reason, which is doubtful. Given his overall inexperience, I think it’s safe to say that’s another construction of his, rather than being good at Sensing.”

“So… Summing it up, there are four of them. Two primary, and two secondary, judging from their power. The primary ones are an utility construction that is presumably not combat applicable and that can be used to erase memories, and a combat construction that summons a shadowed arm. The secondary constructions are also combat constructions, most likely, though that doesn’t matter. One of them hides his presence, and the other can be used as a scout. But we don’t know what exactly it does. It might detect other minds, or it might warn him of danger, or it might allow him to see things that are far away… Well, out of these, the last one makes more sense for a combat construction. But now that I think about it, it could be a primary utility construction. Kind of a newbie’s move, but he IS inexperienced...”

“I doubt that arm would have so much power if he had divided his attention between 3 primary constructions… And we also don’t know much about that memory wiping one… though, I doubt we’ll need to worry with that.”

“Hmmm… naruhodo. Thanks for summing it up, Novalue. I think I got the general idea of his powers. On video game terms, he'd be a "Glass Canon" of sorts. He possesses devastating ranged attacks, that, while restricted and held back by a few weaknesses, are still tricky to avoid, his fog shit to cover his location and GPS to guarantee that we can't do the same. But when it comes to direct combat, his hand ability ends up lacking in proper versatility and defense capability, and he doesn't really have any good defensive or movement options. His Erasure power is pretty good, and works at melee, but it takes way to long and is too weak to make a difference. Not to mention, trying to touch someone with his kit doesn't really bode well.”

“Wait, what are you talking about?”

“(sigh...) You’re two useless idiots. Specially you, Wims.”

“What was that?!”

“I mean, Novalue has an excuse since he flat out wouldn’t be able to do this… but you came face-to-face with the killer and couldn’t be bothered? Guess you wanted to just end this quickly, but gathering info is your job… Are you that bad at it?”

“Why you…!”

“You know… When I was a kid, I wanted to be a babysister, but I can now see that this was a horrible mistake… Nim. What are you talking about? Don’t tell me that you managed to get a copy of his construction?”

“Ugh. He sure did. And by pure luck, by the looks of it.”

“Aww, did you view a little film of my pathetic life because you were feeling even more pathetic after losing to me? Better to win with luck than lose whe-”

“...No need to read your memories. You put a trap in someone, didn’t you? You were probably developing it as a minor construction, or maybe not even that, just a magic trick, every since you heard about about the memory erasures. A trap that made it so that, if someone with it got their memories erased, you would get a copy of whatever erased it.”

“Wow, you figured it out! Elaborate huuuh~? But you didn’t even need that! He was close to you. So you have just wanked it out of him, or read his memories concerning it. Even with the fog, you could probably overpower him with your superior stren-”

“Nim, shut the fuck up.”

“Hmmph. Prickly after losing your crow, I see. ...Well… let’s just present it:”

Suddenly, Nim summoned a shadowy figure.

“It’s just a being made of information. No way could I have gotten away with making a copy of the real thing. In essence, after the killer touches you, he can install this on your mind. Then after 4 hours of preparation and another 4 of waiting, it attacks. If it gets you, BOOM! Heart attack. Then it rummages through your memories, deleting them and only stopping whenever it finds someone. If it does, it will go to that person’s mind and delete the information about the original person as well as putting them into a “trance” for a while, during which they will ignore signs of the erased person’s existence. Quite the nice work, I must say~ ...I mean, I could do better, but still.”

“Huh. Sounds like it won’t present a problem to us after all. Incidentally, shouldn’t we make sure he can’t quit town?”

“...I already did that. The crows are keeping a close watch at the exits. For now, nobody left. I feel like he’s aware that it would be a bad idea… Well, at the very least, he knows what my crows can do, since he did me the FUCKING FAVOR of killing one of them...”

“Well, if you’re that pissed, how’s about we do something about it?”

“Agreed. Though now more than ever I DON’T wanna’ cooperate with you Nim, it was part of the plan from the get go.”

“Speaking of plans… Exactly how can I trust you not to backstab me?”

“Oh, you can’t~”

“...I’ll put you on a damn leash if I have to…”

“Ugh. Fine, you have my word… You’re an idealistic shit, Nim.”

“Why, thank you. Go live in a barrel with a staff, some rags and a loaf of bread. And remind me if I’m in front of the sun, bitch.”

“...Now that this is out of the way...” I butted in.

“Shall we start our plans?”

[probablymango]

Dungeons and Arcana

Chapter 2: Character Building

Muriel stared at the screen, idly petting Scout as he tried to see if there was any jobs in town. So far, most of them were for jobs he didn’t qualify for or gave him too much anxiety for him to consider. “..... ugh. That’s enough for today.” He closed the laptop and set it aside. After a few seconds of not staring at a screen, he got up and set Scout down. Time for chores. There wasn’t much to do, the apartment was small, but they needed to get it done. Feed and water the dogs and Faust, make sure Scout didn’t try to eat Inanna’s food, make the bed, put clothes in the basket for later, put the dishes on the counter to be washed later, make sure the dogs didn’t shit or piss in the house, take the trash out, and finally, walk the dogs.

As he walked, he hoped that they’d be getting a new home soon. It was cramped living in the apartment with two other people, a snake, and two dogs, but it’s what they could afford. His mind drifted off as he thought about the kind of house they all wanted: out of town, a big backyard, good insulation, and big enough so that they could each have their own room. It wasn’t going to be cheap, but it would be so worth it.

He was about to turn back when Scout stopped and stared at a person, the boofed, grabbing the person’s attention away from their phone. “Hey, Scout, no.” They looked up at him, small tail wagging. “No boofing at strangers.”

He looked up to find the stranger walking up to him with a smile. “Hi, awkward question, can you help me find a place?”

“Um….” Inanna gently nudges his thigh. “Y… yeah. Where are you looking for?”

“Do you know a place called the Rowdy Raven? My brother wants me to meet him there, but the map doesn’t think it exists.” They hold up their phone, trying to prove their point.

“.......” He taps their phone, putting in the address. “This map isn’t up-to-date… There.”

“Thank you!” They grin, bouncing in place, then turning and holding out their hand to him. “I’m Portia, she/her.”

That was the first time someone introduces themself like that, he like it. “Muriel, he/him.”

“Well, it was nice to meet you, and hopefully, we’ll meet again!” She runs off, red hair flowing after her.

Scout snapped him back to reality by barking and tugging on the leash, pointed towards the apartment. He smiles softly, following the terrier hom. When he opened the door, he was hit with the smell of lemons and strawberries. He lets the dogs off their leashes and wanders to the kitchen, finding Mordenkainen watching a pan in the oven. “Hey M.C.”

They look up and smile. “Hey, Muriel! How was your walk?”

“It was alright, someone asked for directions though.” He looked around the room and groaned. “Mordy.” The kitchen was a mess, cabinets and drawers were open, dirty dishes and ingredients were left out. “You can’t keep doing this.”

They look up with an expression that was hard to describe, but gave off the feeling of ‘I know I’m being a brat, but am trying to look as non-guilty as possible’. “Doing what?”

He gestures at the rest of the kitchen. “This aries mess! You know to clean up.”

“I don’t know what you mean.” They squat in front of the oven, as if that would hide their deeds.

“I’m a virgo, you can’t leave messes like this!” He groans, torn between laughing and mortification.

They wiggle a bit in place, smiling. Then a timer goes off and they pull out a cake, lemon with strawberry. Scout comes running into the room, boofing softly and watching the cake. “Not for you, it’s not for you.” They baby voice their dog, setting the pan on the oven. They run a sink full of water and soap, then wander around the kitchen for dishes to clean.

“Thank you.” He sighs, closing cupboards and drawers, then wiping off the counters. “Why did you make a cake?”

“Can’t I ever just make a cake?” They pouted, then nod. “It’s for Julian’s sister and the group, she had a birthday recently and I figured it would be a good excuse for a cake. That reminds me, Lucio agreed to let you join the group.”

He stops wiping the table. “Oh……” He was nervous, he knew there wasn’t that much to be worried about, but groups of people still made him nervous.

They stop and look at him. “We.. we can cancel plans with him, if you really don’t want to.”

He shook his head, he wanted to, but that didn’t stop the worry in his thoughts. “I… What do I need to do?”

They smile and sit at the table and urge him to sit as well. “Well, you don’t need to bring much, just a character sheet. Asra and I can get the other items, like dice and some snacks.” They tilt their head at the cooling cake. “Would you like help with a character creation?”

He thinks for a bit, then nods. “Please.. I don’t even know where to start.”

They leave the room, then return with a laptop. “He said to do a self insert, so you don’t have to really worry about choosing a personality or basic looks, other than your own. We basically just need to select a class, choose some equipment, and then wait for Lucio to give us information on the world so that we can make you a background. Also, at some point we need you to get in contact with him.”

He nods, looking at the sheet they pulled up. “Okay, okay.”

Within a few hours, they’ve managed to do the basics and have them explain some of the finer details. “Remember, if you get confused, just ask one of us, okay?”

“Okay…… You said that… Lucy? Wanted to talk to me?”

“Yes, Lucio, would like to talk to you. Would you like his number or to meet him in person? His discord maybe?”

“....... Discord might be best for now.” They give him Lucio’s discord, then leave him at the table to frost the cake. “What kind of cake did you make?”

“Lemon with strawberry pieces.” They grin, setting the frosted cake into the fridge. “I think Portia will like it.”

Portia.. Could they mean….? “What does Portia look like?”

“Not sure. Julian said that she was him, but shorter and brighter.” They sat down with him again. “He said that most of us will probably get along with her. Why?”

He shrugs. “Met someone who said her name was Portia earlier.”

They grin, leaning closer. “Ooooooo~ You met someone.”

He blushed a bit, pushing their face back. “It’s not like that. She asked for directions, then ran off.”

They laughed, patting his hand. “You met someone, and if it’s the same Portia that Julian speaks of, you’ll see her Saturday.”

He slowly takes his hand away. “Okay…. Can.. can you sit with me while I contact Lu… Lucio?”

“Sure thing, dude.”

He smiles, whistling Inanna to come over, he pet her for a bit, then sent a message to him.

Muriel: This is Lucio? glamorousCapricious: That depends, who’s asking? Muriel: Muriel glamorousCapricious: arsa’s friend? Muriel: yes glamorousCapricious: can you give me a few minutes? Busy at work with a drunk Muriel: ok

He sits back and sighs, he wasn’t sure if waiting was worse, but that’s all he could do. “.... go get some rest, M.C.”

They shrug, trying not to yawn. “Not that tired.”

“Maybe not, but I know you have work tomorrow. Go to bed.” He lightly pushes at their shoulder, urging them to bed.

“Fiiiiiine.” They yawn and get up, gently patting his shoulder. “Don’t stay up too late yourself, okay?”

“Okay, good night.”

“Niiiiight!” They wander to the bathroom, probably to shower.

He hears the notification on his phone and pulls it up. It’s from Asra.

Asra: guess who i found at work! Me: Julian Asra: no Asra: well, yes, but hes not the focus!

Asra sent him a selfie of himself, Lucio, and a vaguely familiar person.

Asra: found your cuz! Asra: did you know he was coming today? Me: I thought he was coming tomorrow

Shit, shit, shit! He got out of the seat and started trying to clean up the living room and extending out the bed from the couch.

Asra: apparently he had to cancel plans due to his break up and just came early Asra: is it alright that he comes to our house a night early?

No!

Me: yeah Asra: ill let him know! Asra: he says hi and thanks!

The shower stops, so he takes his chance. “Mordy! Where did we put the extra blankets?”

“Uhhhhhhh! I think they’re under the bed!”

He runs into the bedroom and looks under the bed, immediately followed by Scout. There was a plastic container filled with blankets. Scout crawled under and batted at the box. “Yes, good puppy.” He struggles to get it, but is eventually able to have the blankets. He picks out some of the warmer blankets and gets them onto the couch. “Pillows, pillows..” Those were easier to find, scattered all over the house. He found a few different ones, not sure what his cousin prefered. “.......... this should be good enough.”

Me: tell him I said hi Me: when is he and you coming over? Asra: after my shift or til he gets bored of this place, so in a few hours or less

That’s not comforting.

Me: ok Asra: i gotta go back to the music, ttyl! Me: bye

He was about to put his phone away when he got a text from an unknown number texted him.

Unknown: This is Muriel, right? Me: who are you Unknown: Lucio Me: how did you get my phone number? Unknown: Arsa. he gave it to me, probably didn’t know that someone else gave you my discord

Yeah, that sounds about right. He saves Lucio’s number.

Me: then why are you texting me? Lucio: texting is faster in here than discord Me: oh Lucio: can I ask you some questions for the game? Me: sure Lucio: do you have a character sheet and a general sense of a backstory? Me: yes, do you want a picture of it? Lucio: that would be perfect

He sends him a copy and a small blurb of the background he’d come up with.

Lucio: interesting Lucio: are you open to suggestions? Some details might work better in the world i’m trying to create Me: what changes? Lucio: instead of living on a mountain, would you be open to the middle of the woods? Me: yes, that works Lucio: also, what would you/your character ask for as a super power from a magical entity? Me: …….. Im not sure Lucio: i see.. Lucio: you wanted them to be an ex gladiator? Me: yes Lucio: do you desire an active part in the campaign or would you like a more passive role for now? Me: passive would be best for now Lucio: did they have a gladiator name and did the crowd like them? Lucio: or do you want me to decide that? Me: don’t have a name, but i think he was hated

It takes a while, but he does respond back.

Lucio: How does Scourge of the South sound? Me: sounds good

The rest of the conversation was determining some of the finer details, like his relation to some of the other characters, a bit more backstory, that he could bring Inanna to the game, and that he was now an accomplice for Lucio to move the plot forward for the others. In his words, ‘The others sometime go on a streak of not doing things and results in them not doing anything, but wanting more to do of what he didn’t plan for.’ He snorts. That sounds like M.C. and Asra.

Maybe this game wouldn’t be so bad.

[sweetalnazar]

I Won’t Forget

Just another day in Muriel's life, watching over the shop and the energetic airhead apprentice living there while Asra's away. As usual. At least it was supposed to be just the usual...

4.5k words. Pre-canon. Fluff (can be read as romantic or platonic). My apprentice, Mine/Muriel/Asra.

It was a warm night, too warm for Muriel. It was still early into summer, which meant the heat would only worsen in the coming days.

The forest was always cool, shielding him from the sun’s harsh rays, but the city seemed to absorb the heat into its very stone. Even after sunset, everything felt hot and sticky. He almost wanted to take off his cloak.

But he didn’t.

People didn’t like it when Muriel took off his cloak or even just pulled down the hood. They didn’t like him much when he was wearing the cloak either, but it wasn’t as bad. Not as bad as when their eyes dropped to the mess of scars across his body or locked onto his face, their expressions pale and fearful.

At least there weren’t many people coming this way after dark.

If only the person he was waiting for would hurry up and pass through, then he could finally , finally  get home to a nice, quiet evening by the fire with Inanna.

He glanced at the door of the magic shop, almost as if it would make the apprentice living there appear. He knew staring at the door and thinking hard had never made Asra appear; Mine would certainly be no different.

He drummed his fingers against his thigh. Where in the world were they? It had been hours since they’d left the shop, hours since Muriel had tried and failed to keep up with them through Vesuvia’s crowds.

In the end, he had returned to the alley and waited.

True, Mine was often out running errands– and generally running around the place– when Asra was not around, but….had they ever been out this long? This late?

His throat tightened.

Were they alright?

No, it was Mine, sunny and careless and a little too loud, but always pulling through, regardless of the odds.

But what if, tonight was the night they couldn’t beat the odds?

No, no, it couldn’t be.

And yet...this was Mine, the one who got into bar fights and fist fights and verbal fights, all kinds of fights really. The one who came back bleeding and bruised more often than anyone liked. The one who always came back with a smile and their head held high, no matter how badly they were beaten up.

Yes, they would come back. Of course they would. Of course...

With an irritated sigh, Muriel slipped out of the alley into the street and began casting a search spell. He thought of Mine, that soft, chubby figure that could never keep still; those big brown eyes that always seemed to be laughing; that loud, clear voice that he could pick out anywhere.

He felt a twinge, a tug at the edge of his consciousness, and he let it pull him to where Mine was.

As the pull grew stronger, his worry grew deeper.

He was making his way to a dangerous part of town. It had been old and poor even before Lucio had come along. After the plague, it was nothing but crumbling brick and garbage, most of its inhabitants had either fled or died.

Now the most desperate lived here, trying to take what little shelter the ruined buildings had to offer.

Of course, Mine would end up somewhere here. Where else would they be?

Certainly not somewhere safe.

Sensible was not a word Muriel would use to describe Mine.

He stopped in front of what was maybe a government building at some point, or possibly an apartment many years ago. Much of the building was exposed, the walls falling apart. All of the windows had been smashed in, one of the frames sticking haphazardly out, threatening to fall on any passerbys. Weeds sprung out from numerous corners.

There was a brick staircase at the side leading to the roof. Well, almost, if some of the brick hadn’t collapsed partway.

Sitting some ways up the staircase was a lone, familiar figure.

“Mine!”

“Yes?” They stared down at him, a dreamy vacant expression on their face.

He opened his mouth to scold them, before realizing what he was doing. He wasn’t supposed to be here, in front of them, talking to them. He should, he should be in the shadows, watching and waiting like he always did.

He took a deep breath. It didn’t matter they were seeing him now, they’d forget soon enough.

In a calmer voice, he said, “What are you doing here?”

They shrugged. “Looking at the stars, I guess.”

“You couldn’t do that at the shop?”

“I could.” They looked back towards the sky and Muriel came closer until one foot rested on the first step. “It’s so calm, isn’t it?”

“.....It, is.” He supposed it was, for a place like this.

They closed their eyes and sighed, sounding content. “It’s times like this, y’know, when everything is quiet and slow, it feels like, like you could stop and take a breath. Like the whole world is slowing down.”

Their expression was almost serene, and their entire posture was relaxed. He’d never seen them so calm and peaceful.

All of a sudden, they turned to him, as if seeing him for the first time. “Sorry, who are you again?”

“Uh….” They couldn’t have already forgotten him. They hadn’t even looked at him properly to begin with!

“Are you lost too?”

Oh. That explained, a lot.

Mine patted the spot beside them. “Do you want to join me?”

He pulled back for a moment, but thought better of it. He trudged up the stairs before plopping himself next to them.

They gave him a smile before their attention went back to the sky. Looking closer, they did seem to be tired.

“Do you…. want to sleep?” he asked. He didn’t mind watching over them, and he could carry them back to the shop if they were really tired.

Mine shook their head. “Asra said it’s dangerous to sleep outside. In Vesuvia, at least.”

Muriel nodded. Previous experience had proven that to be true.

“I tried looking for the way home earlier. I ended up here, and I was too tired to look anymore. I’ll wait until the sun comes up.”

“Why?”

“Maybe it’ll be easier in the daylight. It’s definitely easier to ask for directions in the morning.”

“.....OK.” That didn’t make much sense, but Mine didn’t seem to mind.

He leaned back and tilted his head upwards. In this area with its poor lighting, it became much easier to see the mass of stars above.

“Look.” Mine lifted a hand and started to make shapes in the air. “If you connect the dots– stars I mean– you can get shapes.”

Like constellations.

“See, that’s a narwhal, not a whale ‘cuz it’s got a horn like a unicorn. Over there’s a frog and it’s got raindrops floating around it– wait, no, they’re bubbles! Hah, that fits much better.” They nodded, looking satisfied.

He stared at them in disbelief. “Those aren’t constellations!”

“Oh, I don’t really know those. Isn’t it kinda hard to tell? My thing’s way more fun.”

“It’s not about fun.”

“It isn’t?”

He pointed to a group of stars. As he made out the shape with his finger, he said, “That, is Ursa Major. If you follow it…”

“Ooo, hey, that star over there is really bright, huh? Is it a part of a constellation too?”

He nodded. “It’s part of...mine.”

“Yours?”

“My sign... Virgo...” He faltered, feeling embarrassed.

“Virgo, eh? How do you make that shape?” They waved their finger wildly. “Hey, I think I can make a face out of them, look, it’s a granny. And she’s smiling!” They laughed, their teeth flashing.

“You’re silly.”

“Yeah, I am.” Mine grinned. “And you’re smiling.”

“No, I’m not,” he mumbled, his face burning. It was a good thing it was so dark. “I’m not going to show you Virgo.”

“What? Nooo, don’t be like that. Please? I’ll listen properly, promise.”

“O-OK. As, as long as you’re not noisy.”

“Zipping my lips.” They made a zipping gesture, looking at him earnestly.

Somehow, his face felt even hotter.

“Uh, then... here’s how you find Virgo.”

“Is it supposed to be a horse? No, a bird?”

“It’s….a person.”

“Ohh. Huh?” They scrunched their face at the stars. “Constellations are so weird.”

“They’re not.”

“You’re cool though, knowing all this stuff.”

“W-what?? You, you don’t know what you’re saying!”

“Yes I do. Betcha know a ton more, clever clogs.” Their grin was a lot like Asra’s, mischievous and teasing. If it was a little brighter, it would be very easy to tell Muriel had turned the shade of a tomato.

“I don’t. Go home already.”

They pulled back, and for a moment, Muriel worried they were upset.

“Can’t, dawn’s still far away.” Their tone remained unchanged, which made him relax. “Speaking of home, don’t you need to head back to your place too?”

“No.”

“So you were lost!”

He really wasn’t.

“That’s fine, we can just stay here together. You and me, watching the stars and stuff. Hmm, maybe we should talk about other things–hey, do you like magic?”

Muriel knew very well about Mine’s deep obsession over magic, and he wasn’t about to give them a chance to launch into a spiel about the syntax of magical incantations. Asra’s stories had told him all he needed to know.

“Let’s...not. Uh, I could show you the way back. If you want.”

“Really?” They perked up. So they had wanted to return after all. They stood up, bouncing on the balls of their feet. “Lead the way, friend.”

Friend. Did they only know how to say embarrassing things?

“We’re not friends,” he mumbled.

“We’re not??” While the exclamation was loud, it also sounded genuinely hurt. They deflated, looking disappointed.

“Because you don’t know my name,” he said quickly.

“Oh.” They brightened. That was easy. “What’s your name then?” This was not.

He paused. “....Muriel.”

“Muriel, what a lovely name.” They giggled. “Y’know, I’m so bad with remembering names. It’s sooo embarrassing to ask, especially when the other person knows your name. I’m glad you figured me out.”

He hadn’t.

“Sure,” he said, starting to walk in the direction of the shop, while Mine took hurried strides to catch up.

“I won’t forget your name this time. I’ll write it down!” They paused, rummaging through their bag, then their pockets. “When I get home.”

“You don’t have to.”

“I want to.”

“Why?”

“I don’t want to forget you. My, my memory’s pretty bad as it is. I, I...I don’t want to lose anything else important.”

His heart ached, to his surprise.

Mine had lost almost everything during the plague. Their family, their loved ones, their magic, and it wasn’t sure if they’d be able to return to their life from before. Not with the way things were currently going.

What could he say? What could Muriel say that Asra hadn’t tried already, always with disastrous consequences? What could be said that wouldn’t end up hurting Mine?

“....I’m sorry, Mine.”

“Eh? What for? Seriously, you have nothing to apologize for. If anything, I should be saying sorry, forgetting your name and all. Oh, I should thank you too! Since you’ve helped me so much today.”

“I didn’t do anything.”

“You did. You hung out with me and showed me constellations. You’re helping me get home. And we’re friends now too. You’ve given me a lot, I’d say.”

He grunted. Even if he said no, they would barrel on ahead.

But… it wasn’t unpleasant, to be liked by someone like this.

“Hey, are you gonna be around tomorrow?”

If Asra was still away, he would. “....Maybe”

“If you are, drop by my shop. I’ll treat you to a loaf of pumpkin bread. The one at the market’s really good.”

“...I don’t like crowds.”

“Oh, well, I’ll just buy the loaves and we can eat them at my shop. I’ll make tea too.”

He didn’t respond, still thinking of a reply–excuse– in his head.

“Or do you not like pumpkin bread? I love it, but to each their own I suppose. Hmm, what else could we get– ooo, what about–”

“Pumpkin bread is fine.”

“You sure?”

“Yes.”

“OK! I’ll buy the bread tomorrow and we’ll enjoy them together.” They were close to the shop now, their surroundings more brightly lit. That also meant Mine’s bright smile was much clearer as well.

Muriel didn’t want to make a promise he couldn’t keep. He didn’t want to lie to them, not when they seemed so excited at the prospect of the two of them meeting again.

But he knew things would end the way they always did. Mine would forget and go about their life, and he would always be watching from afar.

“I don’t know if I can come,” he managed at last.

“You’re not gonna be here tomorrow? When will you be here then? I’ll mark down the date.”

“That’s, that’s not what I–” He sighed. “I don’t know if we can meet again.”

They frowned. “Why not?”

He stopped and jerked his head in the shop’s direction. “Here we are.”

Mine turned back. “That was faster than I thought– wait, wait, no, don’t distract me. Why can’t we meet again, Muriel?”

“It’s….hard to explain.”

“Try then.”

He sighed. “I can’t.”

“You don’t like me? You, you–” They continued in a quieter voice, “don’t want to be friends?” They looked like they might cry.

“No, it’s not that… I…” He threw them a pleading glance, hoping they would understand his inner turmoil, somehow. “I can’t. I’m sorry, Mine.”

They looked away, their trembling lips pursed together. Their eyes started to glisten.

He twiddled his fingers nervously. One second passed, and another, and another, and another, and then it seemed like too much time had passed for him to say anything.

Should he just leave now?

“I’m still going to do it,” Mine said firmly, breaking the silence. “Tomorrow, I’ll buy an extra loaf and I’ll wait right here.”

“But–”

“It doesn’t matter if you come or not. I’m going to be here anyway.” A tear escaped their eye and they wiped it away with their finger. “I want to be your friend, Muriel. Please.”

“...You already are.”

They immediately turned to look at him, eyes wide and hopeful. They whispered, “Really?”

He nodded.

Their entire face lit up. At the same time, tears started rolling down their cheeks.

Muriel gaped, internally panicking.

“It’s fine, it’s fine, I’m just really happy! Well, I’m happy now. I was upset earlier, but it’s fine, really. I get like this a lot.” They rubbed their eyes with their sleeve, before giving a wide smile. “See? Totally fine.”

“OK…” he said, unconvinced.

“I really am happy.”

“Just from that?”

“Yup!” Their smile wavered. “You, you meant it, right? That we were friends.”

“...Yes.”

“Then I’m definitely happy.” They reached out their hands, only for Muriel to flinch back. “Sorry, sorry, I’ll keep my hands to myself. Are you OK? Sorry, Muriel.”

“‘S fine. Just... no sudden movements.”

“Got it.”

He nodded. “I’ll be… going now. I guess.”

“OK. Thanks again, Muriel, for everything.”

“It was nothing.”

“It wasn’t.” They unlocked the door and the wards. “I’ll still be here tomorrow.”

“You don’t–”

“Well, we never know what might happen. Just in case your plans change or something, I’ll have an extra loaf ready for you.”

Nothing would change. He knew that, he did, and yet…

“We’ll see,” he said gruffly. “Don’t get your hopes up.”

They beamed. “I’m looking forward to it!”

“I said not to get your hopes up.”

“OK, OK.” They pulled the door open and took one last look at him. “I hope I’ll see you again though.”

“Goodbye, Mine.”

“Goodbye, Muriel.”

The door shut with a click, and only after he heard the sounds of the locks being turned did Muriel leave.

When he reached the alley, he turned back to gaze at the shop, and a small part of him couldn’t help but hope too, that maybe tomorrow would be different.

When Mine came downstairs the next day, they weren’t alone.

“Faust!” they exclaimed, running towards the snake. They lifted up their arm and Faust happily coiled around it. “And hello to you too, master. Welcome back.”

“Good morning, Mine,” Asra said, planting a kiss on top of their head. “How were things while I was away?”

“Pretty good. I delivered all the orders, found out what aquaculture was–it’s not about underwater societies so that was disappointing–, and um, what else...oh I got lost yesterday.”

“Did you get into any trouble?”

“Nope. I took the wrong turn or something, and basically spent hours wandering the city until I got tired. I almost gave up y’know. I found a nice staircase to rest on, see, and I was gonna stay there until dawn, and then…” Their voice trailed off, and they frowned.

“Then what?”

“I don’t... know. I’m sure I must have moved at some point because I woke up in bed, in my pyjamas, and, and I remember coming in through the door, and telling myself over and over to write this reminder–” They looked down at one of the cloth knots around the base of their finger. On it was  scrawled ‘ Extra Loaf’ .  In a quiet voice, they said, “Why did I write this?”

“Mine.” Asra grasped their shoulders, his touch firm but gentle. “Deep breaths.”

They did as they were told, inhaling and exhaling a few times. They placed a hand on his. “I’m, I’m OK, nothing...hurts, but why don’t I remember what happened last night?” Brown darted up to meet amethyst. “Did something happen?”

“It’s nothing,” Asra assured. He shifted his hands to pull them into a hug. “You, you just had a little episode yesterday. A headache. It wasn’t anything big.”

“Then, then you brought me home?”

“Yes. I’m glad you’re feeling better now.”

“I, am.” They slowly rested their head on Asra’s shoulder, their free arm wrapping around his waist.

That was a plausible story. They’d had a headache on their way home, Asra just happened to arrive that same night and he had saved them. Like he always did.

But why had they entered the shop alone last night? What about the new cloth knot on their finger?

“Do you want me to get breakfast? I can get your favorite bread.”

“No.” They pushed him off gently, while Faust slithered away to curl around his shoulders. “I want to do that myself today. You just came back, right? You should take a break, master.”

Secrets. There were always going to be secrets between them, hanging unspoken and heavy in the gaps.

The two of them had agreed to trust the other, and Mine did trust him, always. It’s just, it was times like this that he felt very, very far away, despite being so close.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, worry flashing in his expressions.

“I just missed you. I always do. Please rest, master, and let me take care of everything.”

Before Asra could say anything, Mine was already out the door.

“It’s OK,” they said to themself. The how and what of last night’s events didn’t really matter. Mine had returned home safe and sound, and Asra was here with them. They would just have to forget all their questions for now.

Mine trusted Asra, and they had to trust that he was keeping those secrets for a reason.

He trusts me too. Maybe not enough to tell them everything, but enough so they knew he believed in them.

And I believe in him.

That was the most important thing, wasn’t it? That the two of them had faith in each other.

“Alright, let’s go get that bread!” they exclaimed loudly, causing a few stares. Ducking their head, they rushed in the direction of the marketplace.

Despite Mine’s requests, Asra did not take a rest.

Instead, he had found out exactly what happened last night. There was no scent of myrrh but his magic traced a familiar aura that had been present at the shop last night.

“No wonder Mine forgot everything.” Maybe Muriel had been the one to guide Mine home, and as usual, all memory of him disappeared the moment the door closed. “How did they write the reminder then?”

He shook his head, and went about preparing the table for breakfast. Summer meant cold lychee, and for an added twist, Asra added a few drops of color to the drinks. A bit of berry juice, some crushed leaves, all edible.

The drink looked magical as wisps of orange, green and pink made paths in the colorless liquid. “Perfect.”

He heard the door open and shut, then, “Master, I’m home.”

“Upstairs,” he called back.

Mine appeared at the doorway, two– three loaves in hand.

“Lychee!” Their face lit up with delight. They came closer, cooing at the colors. “You made it all pretty too.”

“A little treat for you. I brought back some more lychees, they’re in the kitchen. They’ll last a few days, and a few more drinks.”

“Does that mean we could drink lychee every day?” they asked, their voice hushed and filled with wonder.

“Naturally, Mine.”

“Yay! Thank you!” They threw their arms around him, pressing the fresh loaves against his skin.

He squeaked in surprise at the sensation.

“Oops, sorry.” They backed away. “But thank you so much, master! You’re my best magic teacher ever.”

His lips quirked upwards. “I’m your only magic teacher.”

“And that makes you the best.”

“I see.”

Both of them sat down and Mine placed two loaves on the table, leaving one in their hand.

“Hungry?”

“It’s not for me.”

He raised his eyebrows. “For me?”

“If you want. It’s just, I kept thinking about that reminder, and I thought why not, y’know. It was obviously important enough that I kept repeating ‘write extra loaf reminder’ until I wrote it down.”

“You did? How does that work?”

“My memory’s bad, right? Like, sometimes, I’ll go into a room and immediately forget what I came in for.”

He nodded. That did happen a lot.

“So if I want to remember something, sometimes I’ll keep repeating the thing I wanted to do until I do it. It works, more or less. Like even if my mind can’t remember, my mouth does.”

That’s how they had written down the reminder. “That’s a pretty good trick.”

“Hehe, thanks. Let’s dig in. Jemput makan.”

“Jemput makan, Mine.”

“Hey, you said it right this time!”

“You’re not the only one who’s been practicing their Balayu.” He winked, and Mine giggled.

Without another word, they dug into their meal with great gusto, spending the rest of the morning talking and exchanging stories.

The afternoon sun beat down on the forest, but the canopy filtered out the heat so only tiny rays of sunshine got through. Just how Muriel liked it.

“Muriel~” a familiar voice called out.

He turned, and gave a small smile to the person running over to him. “What are you doing here, Asra?”

“Came to see you, of course. How’s my best friend doing?”

“Fine. What do you want?”

Asra burst into laughter, lightly slapping Muriel’s arm. “I can’t visit my best and oldest friend out of the goodness of my heart?”

“...Have you ever done that?”

He guffawed some more, and Muriel felt his smile widen.

“I’m actually here to give you a little something.”

Had he gotten something strange again on one of his trips? “I don’t need–”

“It’s not a trinket or a decoration, even if your house could use it.”

Muriel huffed.

“A splash of color wouldn’t be bad once in a while,” Asra said in a singsong voice.

“So is walking through poison ivy. What did you want to give me?”

“Here.” Asra reached inside the bag and pulled out a still-warm loaf.

A jolt of surprise went through Muriel.

“Mine bought an extra loaf today, and I thought you might like it.”

“What about you?”

Asra smiled. “The thing is, Mine bought  three loaves today. I was there when they woke up so they were already going to get my share.”

He blinked, words failing him for a moment. His voice dropped to barely a whisper, “....why?”

“Apparently, after Mine came home last night, they wrote down a reminder telling them to buy an extra loaf. They didn’t know why or who it was for.” He glanced up slyly at Muriel. “But I can guess.”

“That’s…” It was a lot of things, to be honest. “Impossible.”

“They were very insistent on getting this loaf. It felt important, they said.”

Muriel hesitated, but with Asra’s gentle, encouraging gaze, he managed to accept the loaf, his hands shaking. “...thank you.”

“You shouldn’t be thanking me. I should be thanking you really, for bringing Mine home last night.”

“It was nothing.”

“It wasn’t.”

Muriel snorted. “They said the same thing last night.”

“You two had a good night then.”

His cheeks flushed and his eyes darted away. “We...sat on some stairs. Looked at the stars.”

“Sounds like a lovely date to me.”

“It  wasn’t. ”

“Whatever you say, Muri. Did you, like it?”

Muriel was silent. He pinched a piece of bread off, rubbing it into a ball between his fingers. “...I think so.”

“That’s great.”

“They forgot me, didn’t they?”

A shadow passed over Asra’s face.

Muriel popped the piece into his mouth. He already knew this would happen; there was no reason to feel disappointed.

“They didn’t want to. They tried to remember.”

“It doesn’t work like that.”

“They managed to write down a reminder this time! You, you could–”

“No. It’s...better this way. It’s what we’ve been doing for years.”

“Muri…”

“You didn’t teach them constellations properly,” he interrupted.

“Excuse me?”

“Last night...they were just making up shapes with the stars. It was, silly.”

“Was it now? That must have been fun.”

Without realizing it, Muriel had been smiling again. He turned his face away, covering the lower half with his hand.

Asra chuckled. “Just be honest, Muri. Come on.”

“No. Go away, Asra.”

“Do you really want me to go away? Hmmm?”

Muriel rolled his eyes. “You’re annoying.”

“But you love me.” Asra wrapped his arms around Muriel’s arm and squeezed it to his body.

“Wrong. Go home to Mine already. Clingy.”

“I’ll go after you’re done with the bread~ Let’s talk for a while. Hasn’t it been ages since we’ve just hung out and talked?”

“...I don’t want to.”

“Awww, Muri, please? Pretty, pretty please? Pretty just like your eyes?”

He could feel the blush creeping up his neck. “...Fine. Just, be quieter.”

“I’ll try~”

He sighed, shaking his head, and started trudging on the path to his hut, with Asra on his arm filling the silence with chatter.

Muriel glanced down at the bread, before bringing it up to his mouth and taking a large bite.

It was warm and sweet, too much like Mine for his taste. But for a heartbeat, with Asra talking, and the wind making music amongst the leaves overhead, it was almost like the three of them were all together.

Even if everyone else forgot this moment, Muriel never would.

Notes: - 'Jemput makan' is a Malay phrase commonly uttered before/during meals. The literal meaning is 'let's eat' and can also mean an invitation to a meal

- Cold lychee refers to this

[that-curly-haired-lesbian]

An analysis of hey stephen would we great cuz it has the same name as in Angelina, so more accurately called hey angelina;)

Hey look, it’sStephen and Angelina, they’re back! (Wow, I just realized I’ve been consistentlyspelling Stephen’s name wrong in all my previous analyses…Sorry Steve! *Makes mentalnote to go back and fix that*)

So this appears to beyet another song for Taylor’s high school crush, Angelina. Unfortunately forTaylor Angelina is straight and dating a dude named Stephen, but Taylor can’thelp but crush on her anyway. In this song I think Taylor actually tells Angelina how she feels, wow highschool Tay was fearless (pun intended)  af! 🌈🌈🌈🌈

Wait, if she’s in love with Angelina, why wouldshe be singing about Angelina’s boyfriend, Stephen? Well kids, she was gonnaput this song on her album right? (on Fearless,the same album as You Belong With Me,another song that appears to be about Stephen, but is really about hisgirlfriend Angelina…) So she couldn’t use a girl’s name for the song and sodecided to make it seem like she was in love with the boy rather than the girl,also “Hey Stephen” just works better in song and flows off the tongue  easier when singing than “Hey Angelina”  would. Despite this I’d say you’re quite rightanon, the name of the song should be HeyAngelina as it is indeed a love song for Angelina 😊

Of course that’s justmy idea of what the song is about, everyone else are free to think anythingelse they can come up with.

Lyrics from AZLyrics as always.

–

Hey, Stephen,

I know looks can be deceiving,

But I know I saw a light in you.

And as we walked

We were talking.

I didn’t say half the things I wanted to.

–

A wise anon once pointed out to me that these firstlines kinda makes it seem like Stephen (or Angelina) is gay too and has set offTaylor’s gaydar. The lines about looks being deceiving and light could beTaylor saying “hey so I know you look straight and all, but I can see the “gaylight” in you and can tell you’re gay like me.”

The “Hey Angelina!” I…Mean Stephen, I guess #NoHomo…Justseems like a casual way to start a conversation with your friend who you’resecretly in love with, like: “Hey Angelina, I love you…Like a lot, date me?”

Personally even if I don’t think Taylor suspectedAngelina was gay too I do think that anon may be onto something.

I think the “lookscan be deceiving/light in you”-line is Taylor thinking about how even ifAngelina looks and seems as traditionally straight girl (or “princess”-like) asyou can get (see: YBWM) Taylor doesn’tnecessarily think that has to mean Angelina doesn’t like gay people or that shewould be offended if she learnt of Taylor’s feelings towards her. There’s alittle flicker of hope that even if Angelina doesn’t return the feelings shewon’t be mean about it, so maybe it wouldn’t be so scary and/or disastrous totell her? Maybe Taylor could even “turn her” (come on, we’ve all thought ofwhat it’d be like if a straight girl were to “become” gay for us specifically!)

Yeah, Taylor’s gonna do it, she’s gonna tell Angelinahow she feels and see what happens, go Taylor! Now she just needs to find theright moment to talk to her friend so one day she just takes a deep breath andgoes “hey Angelina…”

Then it kinda goes downhill, she starts babbling asthey walk together and just manages to get out that they really need to talk,but can’t bring herself to say about what (Taylor’s gay feelings) exactly.  She’d prepared a little speech, but it turnsout telling your crush you like them is harder than you’d think…(“I didn’t say half the things I wanted to.”)

–

Of all the girls tossing rocks at your window

I’ll be the one waiting there even when it’s cold.

—

In my analysis of YouBelong With Me I point out how every gay in love with a straight hasthought “why are you with that stupid boy, he doesn’t understand you and willjust end up hurting you, you should be with me instead!” Here Taylor is sayingthat while Angelina may have boys (*cough* Stephen *cough*) who want to dateher, they won’t be there for her when things get tough (or “cold”) butTaylor will, she’s always been there for Angelina and if they dated that wouldn’tchange. Also throwback to the “waiting at your backdoor”-line from YBWM, this time she’s waiting by thewindow. As for the heteronormativity, of course all those suitors ofAngelina’s have to be girls here because this song is for STEPHEN THE BOY and#NoHomo whatsoever………

–

Hey, Stephen,

Boy, you might have me believing

I don’t always have to be alone.

–

Here’s a double serving of #NoHomo yet again as Taylorrefers to her love interest both as “Stephen” and “boy” in place of “Angelina” and“girl” 

Anyway, what she’s saying here is that if Angelina actually ends upfeeling the same way Taylor’s days of crushing on a straight girl are over andshe won’t have to be alone in Pining Hell forever. Her hopefulness is tentativethough, she knows full well the chances of Angelina feeling the same way are slim. Still she dares to hope for a positive outcome of this conversation, her daysof unrequited crushing just MIGHT be numbered. 

Furthermore the fear of beingalone forever is common in LGBT+ youth, what if they keep crushing on straightpeople all their lives and never find anyone who feels the same. Being gay (especiallyin a conservative place) can sometimes feel like the loneliest experience inthe world.

–

‘Cause I can’t help it if you look like an angel,

Can’t help it if I wanna kiss you in the rain.

–

The word choice here is interesting “Angel” like ANGELina.Also she’s supposedly in love with a boy, so why pick the word “angel” todescribe him? I’m obviously aware that there are male angels, but the wordfeels primarily female-coded to me when used to describe someone.

Also you cannot actuallymean to tell me it’s a coincidence that the names Stephen and Angelina show upin one of Taylor’s songs (Angelina) andthen Stephen and ANGEL show up in another one! This is obviously about the sameAngelina (or Angel) as Angelina thesong.

So, fittingly the girl named Angelina is pretty as anAngel and Taylor can’t help but crush on her and wants to be with her in aromantic sense (“kissing in the rain” is a common theme for Taylor to use whendescribing grand romantic gestures or the start of a relationship/the firstkiss/first romantic interaction between two people in her songs. See: Sparks Fly for another example.)

So, come feel this magic I’ve been feeling since I metyou.

Can’t help it if there’s no one else.

I can’t help myself.

–

Taylor is begging for Angelina to realize she hasfeelings for Taylor too (“feel the magic” that Taylor has always felt betweenthem) The “Can’t help it if there’s no one else”-line is Tay saying “hey I knowyou are straight and all, but no one else makes me feel the way you do and I can’thelp having these intense, gay feelings for you!”

–

Hey, Stephen,

I’ve been holding back this feeling.

So, I got some things to say to you, ha.

I seen it all—

So I thought—

But I never seen nobody shine the way you do.

–

Our brave lesbian makes a new attempt at having THATconversation with her crush and this time she actually manages to get the wordsout, this is basically her saying: “hey Angelina, there’s something I’ve beenkeeping from you and so I need to tell you…Don’t freak out it’s no big deal…”*nervous, gay laugh*  “I just think you’re the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen, in like, a gay way! Thoughts?”

–

The way you walk, way you talk, way you say my name—

It’s beautiful, wonderful, don’t you ever change.

–

Now that she’s started describing just how prettyAngelina is Taylor doesn’t seem to be able to stop, how incredibly gay!

Hey, Stephen,

Why are people always leaving?

I think you and I should stay the same.

–

Then Taylor remembers that she’s actually like,talking to Angelina and has to stop gushing so that the girl she’s justconfessed her feelings to gets a chance to say how she feels about this. Beforeshe lets her speak though Taylor has to add that obligatory line we all add toour I’m-in-love-with-you-speeches at the end, “if you don’t feel the same way that’slike, totally okay and I don’t want anything to change between us because ofthis.” It’s not really okay, but we HAVE to say that so that we don’t risk ruiningthe friendship we’ve built with our no-longer-secret-crush.

–

(Chorus)

–

They’re dimming the street lights.

You’re perfect for me. Why aren’t you here tonight?

I’m waiting alone now, so, come on and come out

And pull me near and shine, shine, shine.

–

After Taylor has stopped word-vomiting everything goesquiet, presumably as Angelina processes everything that has been said. For Taylorthe few seconds before her crush speaks is hell and the rest of the world fadesaway (“dimming street lights”)

“Why hasn’t Angelina said anything yet? We’d be sogood together, please let her feel the same way, SPEAK, WOMAN, OH MY GOD THISIS TORTURE!!” 

As the seconds tick away it’s as if Angelina isn’t even present,she’s probably just thinking about what to say or how to say it, but dammitTaylor’s DYING here!! (“You’re perfectfor me. Why aren’t you here tonight?”)

Taylor feels alone and wants Angelina to admit herfeelings (“come out” you can’t tell me that phrasing wasn’t deliberate!) andpull her in for a kiss thus confirming their mutual feelings. (“And pull me near”)

The “shine-line” is Taylor hoping and praying she wasright about the light she thought she saw in Angelina and that the girl won’treact negatively to these gay revelations.

–

Hey, Stephen,

I could give you fifty reasons

Why I should be the one you choose.

All those other girls—

Well, they’re beautiful,

But would they write a song for you?

–

Angelina still isn’t saying anything yet so Taylorstarts talking again, saying how she knows Angelina may have a thing withStephen, but Taylor has thought long and hard on why she’s a better partner forAngelina than he is (for a musical listing of these reasons, see: YBWM) and could tell her crush at least50 reasons as to why she’s the better choice. 

Yeah, Stephen (referred to as “allthose other girls” because #NoHomo) is great and all, but would he write you asong? Taylor laughs after the “song”-part, that shows she’s at least self-awareenough to know she should probably go tell Angelina all of this instead ofhaving an imaginary conversation in which she confesses her feelings and thewrites a song about that imaginary conversation, kind of a funny line.

–

(Chorus)

–

Myself.

Can’t help myself.

I can’t help myself.

After the last chorus Taylor finishes off with thefact that even though she knows Angelina is straight and will probably turn herdown she just can’t help but crushing on her anyway, she can’t help her owngayness. High school Tay was such a relatable lesbian tbh, I love it!

–

I’ve finally writtenthis, I know you’ve all wanted it for a while and I’m pretty happy with howthis chapter in the Angelina-saga turned out! 

I’ll unfortunately be pretty busythis weekend, but when I next get the chance I’ll write an analysis for Untouchable which is next on the list! Ifyou want me to analyze other Taylor songs from a queer perspective, please letme know I have bunches of fun writing these! 😊😊😊