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#i did NOT realize i had so many songs with matching vibes in my general playlist btw
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spelling url with song titles tag game
i saw @corffiser do it and thought it looked fun. i've decided to make it more challenging for myself and only put songs that i associate with concept/trope of devotion that corrupts, so here goes.
D - Devotion, by Necessary Response E - Evelyn Evelyn, by Evelyn Evelyn V - Vows, by Mercy Necromancy O - Our Way Out, by Nico Collins T - Two, by Sleeping At Last I - I'll Follow You, by Shinedown O - Our love is God, from Heathers The Musical N - No death, by Mirel Wagner
T - The Horror of Our Love, by Ludo H - Howl, by The Family Crest A - A Car Crash For Two, by Gia Ford T - Touch, by Lights Fade Low
C - Chokehold, by Sleep Token O - Only Us, by Miracle Of Sound R - Running Up That Hill (A Deal With God), by Kate Bush R - Religion, by Lana Del Rey U - Under the Skin, by Snaggletooth P - Put It on Me, by Matt Maeson T - This Tornado Loves You, by Neko Case S - Same Disease, by Red
and since i actually like how this turned out, i put these in a playlist for convenience.
there's no way i'm tagging 20 people though, just do it if you think it'd be fun :)
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florallylly · 5 months
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side a: eddie munson
side a
side b side b: steve harrington
explanation post
just going to go straight to my very very stream of consciousness commentary about each song but i want to clarify that i'm an eddie munson is dirty and gross truther and also i hate that rat man (endearing). so yes it might play into some of my thoughts
some songs are kind of vibe-y and you can tell when my explanations start getting contrived and bad but bear with me. i DO have some specific keystone songs idc KEYSTONE i love the word ok anyway
“I” Black Sabbath; eddie munson you are a LOSER with OPINIONS we get it. like yes you are so persecuted by everyone sure you’re going to prove us all wrong 
“Heaven and Hell” Black Sabbath; tbh added to match with heaven/hell in the other playlist, but somehow it’s kind of giving munson doctrine to me. literally googled and supposedly it’s about like band kids (??) but i think just like “the world is full of kings and queens/who blind your eyes and steal your dreams” i can literally hear eddie munson quoting it
“Fade to Black” Metallica; UGH why are there so many long periods of silence at the beginning and end of these songs. but just adding to the eddie munson i’m so outcast bad boy drug dealer thing and like. had to have metallica
“I Don’t Wanna Be Me” Type O Negative; idk if anyone can tell that i think eddie is a big dramatic loser who thinks he’s the main character (endearing?) like I AM RIGHT… 
“skins” The Haunting; okay this song is saur…. like normal people scare me i’m such a freak coded
“Nosferatu” Blue Oyster Cult; a nod to Eddie Munson being a BIG LOSER NERD. ugh whatever honestly parallels a lot of kas theory fic imo, like innocent maiden steve offering his blood to vampire eddie … why have i read it several times over. in my head, this is like. eddie munson having a dirty dirty loser fantasy about king steve 
“Teenage Dirtbag” Wheatus; need I say more………. 
“The Sun Always Shines on T.V.” a-ha; yeah… YEAH. it’s a steve song on here. i like tried to do this thing where on each playlist there are keystone songs and this is one of them. like, the song that’s in the other’s genre is the moment they fall in love even if they don’t realize it yet. but re: the song like it’s so eddie having this realization that when he was picturing king steve, he only saw him through snapshots and now that he’s live and an actual tangible human it’s different. like  LIKE
“18” Anarbor; tbh i am trying so hard to add some of these songs bc they are so quintessential to me and my connection of music to fandom, BUT IDK…. ITS HARD…. but yeah it’s very steve harrington would never really want to be with me, i’m such a bad boy. okay….  
“Poison” Alice Cooper; eddie munson ur horny . eddie munson we’re sworn enemies like ur a jock and i’m a nerd and like could i light my cigarette with ur cock please please 
“Falling In Love” Scorpions; “falling in love, it happens to me every day” okay eddie munson i did NOT see u doodling hearts around steve’s name in the fourth grade
“Around the Fur” Deftones; i do not know why but for some reason feeling like steve still hanging around his old crowd, and eddie getting all weird about it. IDK !! does it not just feel so eddie munson
“Closet” Fleshwater; an interlude-y song here kind of an angsty moment for eddie 
“I Was Made For Loving You” KISS; SECOND KEYSTONE SONG…. this song signals the first time they sleep together. i am so sorry eddie munson but this music actually DOES give me migraines but i tried very hard  
“Be Quiet and Drive (Far Away)” Deftones; eddie’s dreams about leaving hawkins and becoming famous. just in general his wishes to be somewhere he’s wanted and where he belongs. idk i feel like it’s eddie talking about all of these grand plans for his future and turning to steve and being like “and what about you?” and steve doesn’t have an answer.
“Covet” Basement; “you are everything/my most demanding dream” like like like eddie munson loving and hating that he’s in love with steve harrington who is hawkins to the bone and seems determined to die there. 
“Ghosts” Scarlet House; in my head this is eddie munson angsting after seeing steve hanging around nancy wheeler or robin buckley depending on when exactly we’re setting this. but it’s very woe is me i’m lost without you. idk it could literally even just be they fought and steve is at the grocery store chilling and eddie munson is literally frothing at the mouth sobbing in his van 
“Saturnine Saturnalia” VV; “there is no end to the hurting/i love you” saturnalia was a roman festival where they indulged in mischief and partying and whatnot. feeling like at this point, even if it’s fake, even if it ends up hurting me, i’ll take whatever i can get kind of feeling. maybe it’s like realizing he won’t be free of hawkins unless he lets go of steve or thinking that he’s just a stop on the way to a white picket fence. and i think that maybe this is the moment when eddie begins to realize how deeply he feels for steve.
“Please Please Please Let Me Get What I Want” Deftones; PLEASE LET THE MAN GET WHAT HE WANTS !!! FOR ONCE !!! he is out here every single day dealing drugs PLEASE give him a sexy passenger princess to come with him on deals
“Black Butterflies and Deja Vu” The Maine; ik it’s a jump scare but KEYSTONE SONG…. the moment when they admit they’ve fallen in love. this is their aha moment. their AHA! moment not a-ha… but yeah…. eddie munson finally being like wait i’m in love with steve harrington and idk for how long but i’m in trouble
the future holds IDK ... just this part took me this long so PLEASE spare me i literally wrote this out on my notes app
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tokiro07 · 1 year
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Undead Unluck ep.2 thoughts
[Getting the Shaft]
(Contents: Animation, ch.2-3 comparison, OP/ED analysis)
So I found out that a number of people employed at David Productions were formally members of Shaft, and dang does it show. Fuuko practically did Shaft's signature head tilt like three times! I wonder if they weren't allowed to go all the way with it specifically because it's iconic to Shaft so they have a copyright or a trademark on it?
Admittedly, I don't think I ever considered Shaft as a possible studio for UU, and in certain respects I kind of wish I weren't seeing that future come to pass. The excessive use of negative space and the lack of background characters makes the world feel lifeless, and the occasional full-body shadows literally drain the color from the frames whereas I feel based on the volume covers and color pages is the opposite of the blinding neon vibe that I would have expected. I also worry that using the trappings of a Shaft production's visuals will result in UU looking like any other Shaft work rather than having its own visual identity, though I suppose we'll have to wait and see on that
However, this is the future we got, and all in all, those are just gripes. The combat has exactly the energy that it needs to, the comedic moments are given a lot more gravitas than they had in the manga, and once again David Pro loves to add in fun details. My favorite in this week's episode was Andy realizing what the source of the Unluck was going to be and slowly inching closer to Shen and Void so they'd be more likely to get caught up in it. I don't believe I saw the almost electric trail of blood from Andy's finger as he prepped his Parts Bullet against Void, but maybe i just missed it. If I did, let me know, I'd love to be wrong about this one
As I (and many others) predicted, episode 2 covered chapters 2 and 3, and I think it did it quite well. I'm not sure if it's because I read the manga, because it's an anime, or because the director specifically was trying to do this, but I felt like the anime made the exposition and details a lot easier to absorb than the manga did. If I had to attribute that to something, I would say that a panel can cram in multiple details and layers that the reader needs to be active to pick up on while an anime has to show everything individually and any deviation can be detected through movement. I don't know that for a fact, but it's the impression I get
The difference between Unavoidable and Shen's ability was pretty difficult for me to wrap my head around at first in the manga, but I feel like this iteration will make it a lot easier to differentiate them, hopefully. I wouldn't say that UU is obtuse in general, but I imagine a lot of it is going to be clearer going forward
We also got the opening and ending themes, both of which had great songs and animation. Both were definitely odd, though; they were kind of subdued compared to a lot of other shonen anime openings, with the OP spending about half of it on abstract fractals rather than establishing the characters or setting as one might expect and the ED being extremely somber and heavily symbolic. Even as a manga reader, both of them gave me a bit to chew on, which isn't something I usually expect from OP/EDs
I'd really like to read over the lyrics, but I don't think they're up anywhere yet, and even once I find them I imagine they won't pertain to the story and instead will just match the vibe more than expounding on the themes
Without going into spoilers, my favorite part of the ED animation is Andy waking up under the sakura tree with Fuuko after drifting along the River Styx and passing under dead trees; it's said that under every sakura is a corpse, so the idea that Andy is, in effect, burying his past and leaving his previous life behind him for a brighter future with Fuuko is extremely poignant and touching
If there's anyone worried about Andy and Fuuko's relationship based on the first two episodes, just know that that one bit right at the end of the ED is a better representation of their ongoing relationship than the first couple of episodes are. They are easily the best romantic couple in shonen manga, at least that I've ever seen, so just know you have that to look forward to
I'm particularly excited for next week's episode, cus I really like the Union member they're going to meet. I only recently came to like this character as much as I do, but they make a strong first impression at least, so I hope everyone out there enjoys them too. See ya then!
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smoosnoom · 2 years
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ok so . moon. i Luved all the songs so much !! i think my fave was your love . it was just so good ?? the Sounds were very pleasing to my brain lol. i did already know scary love and its one of my fav the nbhd songs tbh. i only know a few somgs from glass animals (it's all so incredibly loud, the other side of paradise, mama's gun and poplar st) so i will Definitely check out that album tmr or smth <3
and!! i have some song recs for u too (tho im very bad at matching song vibes so its just kinda random soz) :
make up your mind - florence + the machine
safe - all time low (very mike wheeler imo)
avalanche - bring me the horizon
at least i have nothing - saint motel
resilience - pierce the veil (very will byers imo)
oh another will byers coded song ive been obsessed w lately is arsonist's lullaby - hozier, as well as in the woods somewhere .. i've just been obsessed w hozier lately tbh lol
ok thats all or else i will starting listing songs for days lol . me and my 2,013 liked songs on spotify r always open to give recs tho 🫡
ok . after several days of not answering this i am Finally here, sniffly nose and all, answering this 🫡 first of all IMS SOSOOO HAPPY U LIKED THEM 🥳🥳🥳🥳 i did think "your love" was ur vibe so im very glad 2 hear that :D if u ever check out their album let me know all ur thoughts !!!!
ok so . ive been trying to get into flo+the machine, and this song . is so good i loveee her vocals and the instruments building up with it, this and hozier give me very similar vibes !!! i really enjoyed it !!!!
honestly . all time low in General is so mike wheeler core he would so get into a poppunk phase i said what i said . also the idea of everything mike considers safe immediately leaving 🙂 goodbye why would u put this in my head
walk the moon i know very scarcely, but i think i should definitely check them out properly since this is like . their fifth song ive heard and enjoyed !!!! it was very nice, very similar vibes to the other ones ive heard 🥳
same thing with saint motel !!! ive heard a bunch of their songs and i liked this one just as much :D also ive realized u recommend many that have a vibe of just . leaving everything behind and pursuing something else
omg i had a brief ptv phase back in middle school LOL and oh my god ur so right this is so will byers 😭 mj Please . crying
i love love loveee hozier, i think he was top five listened in 2021 LOL he is so . i love his lyricism his music his Everything !!
thank u 4 the recs :)
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joyfulbirdpeach · 11 months
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ray-ray-writings · 3 years
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Hey. Hey you. Idea time.
Teacher aus, not enough. Like after the whole Mr. WasTaken stuff where Dream was acting like a teacher and everything!? Just imagine a whole school Au!
Techno teachin English and he adores his kids but he’d be damned before he admits it. That one teacher who’s like “learn from history before it repeats itself.” Hates being forced to do a Shakespeare unit.
Sapnap teaching P.E. And encouraging even the less athletic kids to at least do something physical in his class. You know he pulls a prank with the Fitness Gram Pacer Test more than a few times.
George being a history teacher, I don’t know he just super fits the vibe of that one teacher you always adore who’s like “don’t worry too much about this class.”
Bad boy halo as a science teacher, man’s is the kind of teacher to give candy out to the kids who answer the questions so he can encourage attentiveness. (He teaches physical science and Skeppy teaches geoscience across the hall)
And like, much much much more, but the most important part here,
Could you totally do a reader x Dream where Readers an English teacher and Dreams a Maths teacher? :)
With all the love- 🌻 strikes again.
🌻 you have my whole heart. All of it. Because you literally have requested my dream au (pun sort of intended). Literally like this is going to be so self indulgent because I love this with my whole heart and the amount of times I have fantasized about this (especially with me studying to be an English teacher and Dream with his statistics and stuff) is too many times to count. So you literally have given me an excuse to be hella self indulgent on my own blog and I could kiss you on the mouth for it. This is a few like headcanon type things and a little bit of plot at the end. 
I do have my own ideas of what role everyone has in the school and if anyone is interested I will definitely post those too! But for the main part, you just need to know the reader is an English teacher and Dream is a Math teacher. (But also completely agree with our beloved’s ideas about some of the other boys here and I definitely have assigned everyone their own subject haha)
We’re going to just start out with this general note: Everyone in the school ships you. Teachers, Staff, Students, Principal Philza, all of them want to see you and Dream end up together. You two hang out and playfully flirt all of the time. 
Dream is almost late to school every morning. He has a horrible sleep schedule and so it causes him to wake up 30 minutes before he needs to be at school. You know this and so every morning you bring Dream coffee and something for breakfast. A donut, fruit, oatmeal, scone, just a little something to help him get until lunch. He is very grateful for it and always accepts your offer. When you first started doing it, he always felt really guilty about it. But you kept doing it and refused to take his money and so he came up with a new way to pay you back. 
You two share the same prep period. Prep period, if you didn’t know, is a free period that teachers have where they don’t have a class to teach and they can use it to lesson prep, prep materials, grade papers, or just relax. So your prep period is two classes after lunch and so you always get a little bit snackish around this time and so in order to pay you back for you bringing him breakfast, Dream brings you a little snack every day. Something small, bag of chips, granola bar, some crackers, just a little snack to get you through the rest of the day. You two also spend your prep periods together. Sometimes you chat about your days, students, lessons, standards you have to meet. Sometimes you two just work in silence on your respect tasks. Usually if a student wants to talk to you during your prep period and they can’t find you in your room, they immediately check Dream’s right after because that’s where you would be. And the same for him and his students, if they need something and he’s not in his room, he’s definitely in yours. 
You two also have lunch duty together. You two are in charge of monitoring the cafeteria and making sure that there are no fights breaking out, no food fights, just making sure everything is okay. So often times, you two take a walk around the cafeteria and just watch all the kids until all have been seated, and then you two grab some lunch for yourselves and eat together. Sometimes, kids will come over to where you’re sitting and chat with you, a lot of the time when that happens they’re trying to push you two together. You just roll your eyes and laugh them off. 
You two crash each other’s classes all the time. For random reasons too. It started when Dream had left a few copies of a worksheet on the printer and you just so happened to print some things and pick them up. His classroom was on the way to yours and so you decided you would be a good co-worker and drop them off for him. So you did, not bothering to knock before you enter. All eyes snap to you as you walk into his classroom. Dream is in the middle of teaching. His arm is extended as he points to something on the blackboard. His emerald eyes meet yours and he looks shocked but he smiles. “Teacher Y/L/N… Is there something I can help you with?” You smile back at him and hold up the worksheets, “Sorry to interrupt. Left some on the printer Mr. WasTaken,” you tell him, walking over to his desk and setting the papers down. “Ah. Thank you, I appreciate it.” You give him a small shrug, “Of course. Have a good class. Pay attention!” You call to the class cheerfully before heading out and heading to your own classroom. 
That day you opened a door you couldn’t shut. Every once in a while now, while you’re in the middle of teaching, the door will swing open and Dream will waltz in with a paper or something in his hand and go over to your desk before giving you a wave and a wink and heading back out. So you decided to do it too, even if you have nothing to give him. Students look forward to your classes now because they never know if the other one of you will make an appearance. One time, Dream walked in and you were so engrossed in teaching that you didn’t even notice. He walked over to your desks and took a seat and just lost himself in watching you teach. About 10 minutes later there is a knock on your door, startling everyone out of their focus. The door opens and there’s Tommy with a wicked grin on his face. His eyes immediately find Dream and he smirks, “Mr. WasTaken… Would you like to join the rest of us in class?” Dream manages to keep the blush off of his face, but he is internally dying. To save some embarrassment he says, “Yes I’ll be there in just a moment. I had a question for Teacher Y/L/N and I didn’t want to interrupt. Go back to class Tommy.” Tommy rolls his eyes but complies. You rush over to Dream and duck your head near his and speak in a low tone, “I’m sorry. I didn’t even realize you came in, what was your question?” Dream is a little baffled and thrown off, because he doesn’t have one. “Oh. I’ll just come back later and ask. Sorry for the interruption.” And before you can say anything else, he’s out the door. 
You and Dream often charapone school dances. You two, much like when you have lunch duty, patrol around and make sure everyone is having a good time but is also behaving themselves. Students are always trying to push you two together during this, asking Mr. WasTaken if he’s going to ask you to the dance or at least ask you to dance. He always laughs and says no, no he’s not. Until one time he does. 
He definitely gets his students in on it. He buys a bunch of flowers and has the students line the hall making a path from the entrance doors to his room. So when you arrive in the morning and begin your usual path to his room to drop off breakfast, you’re surprised to find a line of students offering flowers to you. You carefully take each flower and make your way down to Dream’s room. When you get to the end you find Dream standing there with a cheesy grin and an even cheesier sign. ‘I would love it if you could say that you was taken to the dance by Mr. WasTaken.’ You can’t help but let out a laugh and nod at the sign. “Yeah?” Dream asks to confirm. “Yeah. Yeah, I’ll go to the dance with you Mr. WasTaken… by the way, it’s you were taken to the dance,” you tease him lightly, reaching out and giving him a small hug before handing him his breakfast. He takes it, rolls his eyes, and hands you the sign. “English teachers.” 
The day of the dance comes and you and Dream arrive together. He picks you up from your house and brings you a bouquet of flowers, red roses and sunflowers. Your outfit would match his and you would look stunning. It would literally take Dream a few tries to snap out of the trance you put him in. But he’s the perfect gentleman, opens the car door for you and closes it before getting in and driving to the school where he does the same thing, opening the car door and helping you out before closing it. 
You two would have arrived a bit earlier before the dance actually started to make sure everything was taken care of. You two would definitely jokingly get your photo taken by the professional photographer that they hired for the event. It was a joke, but the picture came out so good and was just too good to pass up. 
You two don’t leave each other’s side the entire night. You two just stick side by side the entire night, just watching the kids. You two join the students sometimes on the dance floor, vibing to the fast pace songs they played. Every time a slow song came on, the students tried to push you together and get you to dance together. “Who asks someone to be their date and doesn’t slow dance with them?” But you two just ignore the students and shoo them off to dance with each other and stuff. It’s not until they announce the final song of the night does Dream actually finally get bold enough to ask you to slow dance with him. Your face heats up at the extended hand and the hopeful look on his face but you accept it and the two of you dance. You somehow manage to end up in the middle of the room and even though there are plenty of people slow dancing, all eyes are on you two. You don’t care though. At some point, you lean forward and rest your head on Dream’s chest. You could very clearly hear his heart racing faster than you would think possible and you can’t help but wonder if it’s because of you. 
As the song ends, you manage to pull your head away from him. You look up at him and find him already staring at you. You two just stare at each other for a few moments before Dream makes a bold move. He carefully leans forward and presses his lips to yours. You immediately kiss back, ecstatic that your feelings were returned. Around you, the entire gym bursts into cheers and applause and “FINALLY!!!!” 
You pull away from Dream, giggling a little bit at the reaction of everyone. Dream doesn’t let you get far though. He tilts his head forward and connects your lips once more. “I just got you, I’m not letting you get away from me that easily.” You just giggle at that and kiss him back. 
You two don’t pull away until the song is completely over. When you pull apart and look around, you find everyone staring at you. Some students even have their phones out and were recording you. The two of you just laugh and roll your eyes. “Dance is over… Get out,” Dream jokingly calls out to everyone causing waves of laughter to rumble through the crowds as everyone snaps out of their trance and begin to move. You and Dream stay to help clean up a bit after the dance before the two of you leave, this time hand in hand. 
Dream would drop you off at home. He walks you to your front door and waits as you unlock the door. It’s quiet for a moment as you two try to figure out the next step. Dream finally clears his throat and offers you a sheepish smile. “I’ll see you Monday then?” You almost immediately answer with a ‘yep sounds good’ but stop yourself. “Actually… If you weren’t too busy, do you want to come in and watch a movie or something?” Dream grins at the offer and nods. “I’d love to… Thank you.” 
The two of you head inside and just hang out for a while. You watch movies and cuddle on the couch. It gets to be really late and you refuse to let Dream drive home this late so he sleeps on your couch. The next morning you have a nice breakfast together before Dream tells you he really should get going, he still has some tests to grade. You of course understand that teacher grind and so you walk him to your door. Dream gives you a kiss before heading out and telling you he would see you tomorrow. 
Walking back inside, you find his suit jacket laid over the couch. You decide to hold on to it. You’ll see him tomorrow anyway, you’ll just give it to him then. So the next morning rolls around and you arrive at school, the suit jacket adorning your shoulders. It makes everyone stop, look, and smile. You don’t even notice really. You make your way to Dream’s classroom, walking right in as normal. Dream glances up to see who it was before looking back to his work but he immediately looks back up in a double take. And he just stares. You extend the breakfast out to him and he doesn’t take it. Just stares. You’re confused. 
“Dream?” He extends a finger and points at you, “You’re wearing… that’s my… that’s mine.” he manages to stutter out. You look at your shoulders and realize. “Oh. Right. Sorry. Here,” you say, trying to shrug off the jacket and hand it to him, but he stops you. “No, no, no. It’s fine… It’s better than fine. It looks good. Keep it on… Please?” He sounds so genuine that you pull the jacket back on, over your shoulder. “Okay… I’ll see you at lunch?” You ask, heading toward his door. He gives you a grin and a nod, “It’s a date.” Well that’s new…. But not unwelcome. “It’s a date.” 
You two begin dating shortly after that. You also find out that there were two betting pools going on. One between teachers and staff and the other between students. The teacher that won? Techno. The student? Tubbo. Had you found out sooner, you probably would have been offended but now it just made you laugh. Your new relationship didn’t change anything really. You still did all of the things that you usually did, you just now could kiss each other. You definitely didn’t do PDA in front of the students for obvious reasons, but you two couldn’t be happier.
Thank you again so much for letting me do this  🌻 anon. This was very self indulgent and just thank you :)
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fyeah-bangtan7 · 3 years
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Jimin: “There’s people who’ve been rooting for us throughout this difficult time”
In the “ARMY Corner Store” video posted by BTS on their YouTube channel BANGTANTV to mark the eighth anniversary of their debut, Jimin talked about the leather riding jacket that the older members passed down to him when he was still a trainee. The jacket was first worn by SUGA, handed down to j-hope after SUGA’s debut, then given to Jimin with the words, “This riding jacket is passed down from generation to generation.” Jimin still wears the jacket when it’s cold. Many things change, and, even in times when they must, there are things that do not.
You released three songs in a year: “Dynamite,” “Butter” and, finally, “Permission to Dance,” and BTS grew more popular all the while. How do you feel? Jimin: At some point, it stopped feeling real. The reactions from fans, the cover videos they uploaded and the dance challenges they did—I’m just so thankful for that. It lit up my life. We made those songs with a good purpose in mind, so just hearing people say they enjoyed listening to them was fulfilling. And that was our original goal. “Permission to Dance,” in particular, was the perfect message for right now, so I think I got a lot of comfort from it, too.
How so? Jimin: I think it was both the atmosphere and the actual content. It was comforting right from the title. Thinking about it now, the fact that it made me think, Oh yeah, I might not be able to see ARMY right now, but I will soon, was one good point. I’ve been thinking by myself about how the future’s going to be better, and being more careful, and ended up waiting longer. And meanwhile, we had a fan meeting in the middle of all that. So my thinking changed to be more positive. That was great.
Was there any part you placed particular emphasis on to express such positive emotions in the song? Jimin: I think I just followed my heart. Before, there’d be some kind of concept, and I wanted to show off something about myself in that context, but lately I’ve just been following my heart, following the feeling of conveying the feelings I want to share with others. At first I was worried whether the feelings we were trying to convey in the songs would get across to people since we’d never tried songs in those styles before, but after giving the performances a shot, we found out they’re really fun and easy for us to follow along to, too. So I thought it should be easy enough for people to approach these songs, thankfully.
Even though the three songs—“Dynamite,” “Butter” and “Permission to Dance”—all have something in common, I imagine they were all completely different when it came to figuring them out. You did “Butter” before “Permission to Dance”—how was that? Jimin: They’re totally different. The attitudes I take on are different, the thought process is different, and I think the emotions I feel are all different, too. I think “Butter” was a bit hard for me. It wasn’t a style I was used to, but I thought the actual dance was elegant when I saw the video and it had a lot of footwork, so I thought I’d be good at it, but it was way harder than I thought. During practice I even thought, Why am I so bad at dancing? If you look at our usual choreography, it has very powerful parts with big movements and lots of power, but “Butter” felt really difficult because all the power went in at the same time even though it was loose. So I watched Hoseok dancing a lot, and since every member has their own style of dancing, I watched the way Taehyung loosened up, and the way Jung Kook danced by the book, and I combined all those. So for some of the broadcasts of “Butter” I really loosened up and for others I used a little more strength. I tried all different things.
Maybe that’s why even the style of clothes you’re wearing seems to change the way the dancing feels. It felt like you danced a little differently in a suit than when you were dressed casually. Jimin: I never noticed before but the songs do sound different depending on what I’m wearing. Sometimes I danced all excitedly when I wore casual clothes, but when I wore a suit, something about the song sounded sexy. There’s a different vibe when I dance alone versus when I dance as part of a group, so I visualize how I should dress to make my dancing look cooler every time.
The “Dynamite” performance at the Grammys was very impressive, too. I felt that the music, clothing style and poses where you jumped out were all a perfect match. Jimin: I think it all depends on what kind of outfit I wear, where I am for a given part, and how much I weigh. There’s a pronounced difference to the way a dance looks and feels based on how much I weigh. I think the dance and outfit were a good match in “Dynamite.”
On that note, when you performed “Black Swan” at the end of the year, what pair of shoes could you dance the best in? Looking at the fancam focus video, your dance changes in feeling slightly depending on the design of your shoes. Jimin: For me, it’s barefoot. I think it’s got to be barefoot when I’m doing a classic style dance. It looks sharp and attractive when I wear dress shoes, but it always feels more natural to express myself barefoot. It’s more dynamic, I guess you could say. So I wanted to go barefoot for all my other performances, too. I wanted to be barefoot for when we recorded “ON” at Seoul World Cup Stadium at the end of the year, too, but I gave that up because it could’ve been dangerous.
The performance of “ON” at Mnet 2020 MAMA, right? I was curious about something while watching that video: I wondered how the members of the group could perform with such effort in that big, audienceless stadium, with the new solo performances added into the original choreography and everything. What helped you to find strength even under those circumstances? Jimin: There’s people who’ve been rooting for us throughout this difficult time. I think we have to give them a reason to root for us, then. If we’re going to make them want to see us and make it fun for them to watch us, I wanted to give them a good reason.
Then how did you feel when you performed at the Grammy Awards? Surely it must’ve been meaningful to you in a number of ways. Jimin: I wanted our performance to show what it meant for us to be up on that stage. A group of kids from Korea, each from their own neighborhood, can do this, too, so what’s the big deal about winning an award? That’s one thing I thought. Of course you can’t get it if you’re not capable enough yet, but the important thing is that the people who like us can be proud of us, too. We did the performance in return for all the support they show us.
It must be hard being unable to see your fans since you can’t hold any concerts. It’s hard to tell how well the performance was able to convey that return of their support. Jimin: I learn a lot from going on tour. I combine the audience’s immediate reactions and the parts I wasn’t satisfied with and practice based on that, and ask the other members about it too, but right now there’s no time to review that. So I keep practicing a lot, but it’s hard to tell how the things I’m doing will end up looking, so I keep trying things out on my own but without any feedback.
That must’ve made it harder to get ready for “Dynamite,” “Butter” and “Permission to Dance,” especially since you still have to sing in English and the emotions in the songs are a lot different from your previous ones, and it’s hard to feel the reaction in the concert hall under these circumstances. Jimin: Even the pronunciation is definitely different, and the part of your throat the sound comes from changes depending on the pronunciation. I think that’s why I was a little flustered. On “Butter,” if I had done it the way I always do, it wouldn’t show up. So I studied a lot on how to sound more clean and simple.
It felt like you had to meet all sorts of conditions; you have to keep it breezy and hit high notes, all while maintaining your unique voice. Jimin: I guess you could call it the song that most made me think like I was just starting out again. I think I practiced harder than ever before. I think I’ve worked extremely hard to have my own unique style, but then I hit a wall and had to go back to the beginning to find a new way. And I went over it a lot with Jung Kook. What if I sing it like this? Or what about this way? How should I practice? I asked so many questions like that and practiced a lot, too. But I enjoyed the process. At one point I was like, I can get that kind of voice out of my throat too? Even though it didn’t make it onto the final recording, I tried doing different adlibs while singing other parts and I found my strengths that way.
In previous songs you had fairly strong emotional vocals when you sang high notes, but this time around they’re cooler. How does it feel having different emotions in your vocals? BTS also sought to allow people to feel more positive emotions during the pandemic. Jimin: It was hard to adjust to the changes, but in other ways, since the group saw a greater outpouring of love, I thought we should be featuring emotions and content that’s a little more comprehensive. Personally, it was hard adjusting to a situation where I couldn’t perform. But after “Butter” was out and we moved on to “Permission to Dance,” I saw how lots of people took positively to the way I put so much effort into attempting to change things a bit more with these songs, and I realized that we could find a new side to ourselves in the process.​
I saw on “ARMY Corner Store” that you were drinking with the other members recently and all talking together, which makes me think you’ve had a lot of thoughts since the pandemic started. The world’s changed so much, and the group’s status has changed since “Dynamite” came out, too. Jimin: It wasn’t just the time mentioned in “ARMY Corner Store”—we also talked while going here and there by car, whenever we would get together, and when we were on set. I think it took me a long time to calm my nerves. It took around four or five months, I guess, but after we kept dealing with it and talking with each other, I think that’s when we got used to the new normal and our new selves.
When you performed “Daechwita” at BTS 2021 MUSTER SOWOOZOO, the part you did was, as it happens, “Remember, remember days gone by remember.” Maybe it was a coincidence, but now that BTS, the team who debuted with “No More Dream,” currently sits at the top of the Billboard Hot 100, I’m wondering how you feel about the days gone by. Jimin: I only realized it recently, but I used to be really unstable. I was acting like I was well-grounded when I was around other people, like my family and friends. It meant I had to pretend a lot. I worried about others by saying things like, I’m fine, but how are you? I spoke like I could always take care of anything that came up, but looking back, that wasn’t the case.
What made you think like that? Jimin: I’m still young, and because I’m making a lot of money at a young age, I end up wondering what money and success ultimately mean. Because I’m young, I hear a lot of people talk, and some people can be jealous or envious. But there’s a lot of people I have to repay and a lot of relationships I need to hang onto. I thought I could take care of all these problems, but looking back, that wasn’t the case. It hasn’t been very long since I realized that I was the one to grab on and forced everything to happen.
Was it some sense of responsibility? It reminds me how you called yourself “the kind of person who likes to be loved” in your last interview with Weverse Magazine. So I imagine you probably try your best for the people in your life. Jimin: Yes. I was just being headstrong, you know. Being headstrong. (laughs) It’s the kind of situation where people look at you and they might say, You can’t even take care of yourself. (laughs) But there were still a lot of points where I kept thinking things like that. Now I think I didn’t have to go quite that far, and as times went by, I started to think, Oh, I’m glad I can think about this now so I can let things that I should let go of, go. When I couldn’t let things go, my resentment kept growing. My pain, too. Rather than admit I had those feelings at that time, I’d say there were emotions in different situations that I came to unconsciously accept, and I started to feel like I could see how much of a hard time I was having after some time passed.
You’ve tried so hard. How did you feel after letting go of all those feelings? Jimin: I felt like I was becoming empty sometimes, at first. I felt like I was denying my own thoughts and beliefs. But I talked a lot with my parents, and I said, Did you know I was going through all that? And they said, We didn’t know what you were going through, but we knew it was something. So finally I shared what I was feeling with them, and my mom and dad talked to me like they were my life coaches. After coming out of that whole period, even when I do similar things, I can tell my mind has changed a lot. If I was more focused on my surroundings before, now I’m able to focus on myself as well. My mom told me it means I’m growing up, and that I’m finally becoming an adult. So I said, I don’t wanna be an adult—it’s too hard. (laughs)
It seems like you ended up doing a lot of self-reflection during the pandemic. Jimin: Last year I saw how lots of people were having a rough time and how there was a big social crisis, but as time dragged on I started to feel like I was trapped. But it was mostly okay when I was working.
What would you say work means to you these days? Jimin: I guess it’s hard to separate it from myself. I’m me, and there’s also a separate me who works, but it’s hard to tell the two apart.
© source
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Text
Long Nights - part 5
Neil x Reader
Chapter 5: After rain
(see chapter 4, 3, 2, 1)
summary: you learn to cope with the new situation, but you aren't the only one struggling
warnings: 18+, angst and pain, explicit language and other things
author’s note: This part of the story's been with me for... oh, so long. I just hope I did it justice. ✨6,1k words.✨ I don't even know.
Hurt/Comfort.
The song for this part is Dermot Kennedy - After rain
Enjoy! All feedback is greatly appreciated, let me know what you think?
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Tag list: @cxnnienikas @neutron-stars-collision ​ @ergunbilge @invertedneil @wanderedaway @mellifluous-cosmos @wonderwoman292 @buckysgoldenheart @townmoondaltwistle @theriverbeneaththeriver (please let me know if you want to be added/removed from the list)
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Your hands clenched on the bed’s frame, its coldness felt like the only real thing your drugged mind could process.
Doctor’s words were filling the room, but they were muffled as if they were coming from behind a barrier. Falling from such height...extreme luck...no broken bones…head trauma...internal bruising....
Was all that talking really necessary? Yeah, you were battered, all right. And it seems that even with painkillers the weird throbbing, like a morse code from your bruised cells, was about to stay with you for a little while.
...just like the darkness.
The more the doctor spoke, the more it became clear that they didn’t have any definite answers for you. Seemed like the day spent on being prodded, stabbed with needles, and tossed into various machines resulted in nothing more than a verdict: optic nerve injury.
As for what were you supposed to do now--
“Let me get this straight, doctor,” you said, slowly losing patience. “Your only solution now is: let’s wait and see what happens?”
Drumming fingers against a piece of plastic, followed by a sigh.
“Yes. There is no effective treatment, we could try a high dosage of corticosteroids, but there is no evidence that it’s gonna make any difference, really. And as some recovery may spontaneously occur within days or weeks--”
Weeks.
A cold shiver ran down your spine and you swallowed with effort.
And that was a maybe.
You just wanted to go home.
“Grand,” you cut in, “please tell me I can wait for that possible joyful occurrence anywhere else but here.” You aimed for a lighter tone, but every word coming out of your mouth was dripping with bitterness. Grimacing at your own attitude, you forced a weak smile to appear on your face. “No offense, doc.”
“None taken,” the doctor said with a snicker. “I get it.” A short pause filled with a rustling of paper. “With all the tests done, I don’t think we need to keep you here for observation any longer, but I’d recommend you weren’t alone for the next few days. Do you have anyone to take care of you after we discharge you?”
“I don’t need--”
Neil’s firm voice overlapped with yours.
“Yes, she has.”
You huffed, startled. And a bit annoyed.
You almost forgot Neil was in the room, but to be fair, you were quite sure he’d never left your side since you woke up. His initial nervous chatter got replaced by a silent presence, always ready to jump in should you needed anything - no matter if it was a glass of water or an arm to lean on. It was all comforting, endearing even, and you were so grateful to have him around, but the thought of having Neil in your apartment triggered an irrational panic.
Instead of dwelling on the roots of the anxiety, you decided to over-talk it.
“Neil, I appreciate the offer, but I’ll be okay, and you surely have better things to do than babysitting me.”
“I don’t.” Was that a hint of hurt in his voice? “Doctor, can you discharge her even if she is gonna be alone out there?”
“I’d rather she spent at least one more day here then.”
Unbelievable. You rolled your eyes, hoping it would make the same effect as always, and groaned. “Fine, you win, only because I want nothing else but to sleep in my own bed tonight.”
“Excellent,” said the doctor cheerfully, “I’ll get the forms and come back to you soon.”
“Thank you, doc,” you sighed, hanging your head in defeat.
After spending enough time with a person, it was always easy to recognize them by the way they walk. That’s how you knew it was Neil who approached you, ever so hesitantly.
And only because of a brush of his fingers against your hand you realized you were still clinging onto the bed frame.
“Hey, I’ll just help you set up everything you need there, all right?” he said quietly and you felt him sitting down next to you. “You’re gonna have all the space you want, and as soon as you decide it’s too much, I’ll get out of your hair, I promise.”
He must have noticed that little panic of yours, huh?
“I didn’t mean it like that.” You squeezed your eyes shut, trying to form a coherent thought. “It sounds good though, thank you.”
“Sure thing.” Neil shifted slightly. “How are you feeling?”
You shrugged and grimaced. “I don’t know, but either I’ve slept through the best high or these drugs they gave me are kinda lame.” Hearing Neil’s light chuckle, you cracked a small smile. “Honestly? I’m knackered.”
He hummed with sympathy.
“Is there anything I can do for you now?”
The softness in his voice was more than your tired and dazed mind could handle. You leaned to the side and rested your head on his shoulder.
“Just… take me home,” you asked, forcing the words past your clenched throat.
Neil exhaled sharply and carefully wrapped an arm around you, pressing a cheek to the top of your head.
“Of course.”
------
“Welcome to my crib.”
“Thank you, it’s...” - Neil hesitated as he closed the door behind you - “...cosy.”
Patting the wall to your right, you located a small hook and hung the keys on it.
“That is certainly one word for it,” you snorted. “Why, what did you expect?”
“Frankly? Considering you’re such an... acclaimed locksmith, I imagined something… well, bigger, for starters.”
You couldn’t help but laugh at the way he stumbled on words, trying so hard not to sound offensive in any way.
Grinning, you put on your most snobbish tone. “Ah, sorry to disappoint, all my gold, glitter, and general pizzaz got moved to one of my many summer houses as my spacious lair worthy of the most infamous thief is under renovation, so I was forced to retreat to my humble family place in this ghastly neighborhood.”
“Such a shame,” he said and a smile brightened his words. “I like it, though. Matches your vibe, somehow.”
“Because it’s small, detached, empty, yet somehow messy?”
Neil sighed in a way you were absolutely sure he was rolling eyes at you, then helped you with the coat. “It’s gonna take more than putting words in my mouth to make me want to leave you here all by yourself, you know.”
You were quite sure a dirty joke was hiding in there, but it eluded your tired brain.
“Damn, need to up my game then,” you giggled, leaning against the wall to take the shoes off without losing your balance. “Nah, I’m messing with you, I’m grateful you got me out of there. Can’t wait to rinse that hospital stench off of me.”
“Do you want me to run a bath for you?”
You mused over the idea for a moment, “Thanks, I’ll take a shower - two minutes tops and I’d end up asleep in the ‘tub.” Probably even faster, considering that you already were running on fumes. “Anyway, make yourself at home, gonna grab some fresh clothes.”
Neil was not willing to give up.
“I’ll get you--”
“I’ve got this,” you uttered, instantly hating yourself for how harsh it came out, so you quickly added, “But would you please put the kettle on?” sending an apologetic grimace along with your words.
“On it.”
He seemed happy to have something to do. Or at least sounded like it as he took the crackling grocery and takeaway bags to the kitchenette.
You walked across the room with confidence, your hand reluctantly extended ahead on your waist level just in case you miscalculated the route to the bedroom. When you reached the door frame, you smiled to yourself. It wasn’t that hard, was it? Almost like going to the bathroom at night, not willing to put the light on to avoid waking up, right?
And exactly then, your shin hit the edge of the bed footboard, the impact sending a searing wave of pain up your whole leg. You bit your knuckle to stifle a groan and a curse that was bound to follow. Every. Goddamn. Time.
The noises coming from the other room stopped, but luckily there was no question. Nor a hero coming to rescue you from the sudden and vicious attacks of furniture.
Finally, the closet. Your fingers ran through the folded clothes. Clean underwear. A soft t-shirt. Comfy pj pants. The fatigue was so severe that the term dress to impress didn’t even cross your mind. Not that Neil cared, right? But before you stepped back from the wardrobe, you hesitated, sliding your hands down to one of the bottom drawers. All that boring into nothingness was straining, and keeping your eyes closed all the time felt wrong, somehow. Might as well, you shrugged, pulling out a silky blindfold. Maybe this would trick your brain into thinking it was just a game. A temporary thing. Nothing serious.
...but what if--
You took a shaky breath and slammed the closet shut. Swallowing with effort, you took the clothes and limped out of the room, then followed the wall to the bathroom.
Neil’s concerned voice reached you halfway there.
“You okay?”
“Peachy,” you said and flashed your teeth in a strained grin.
“Let me know if you need anything, all right?”
A change of strategy, then. You certainly didn’t mind, at least this way it didn’t trigger the unnecessarily rude reaction. And you had a feeling that you were going to need a pair of eyes to take care of those bruises of yours.
...or you could just follow the radiating ache and slap some gel where it hurts most, but at this point, as the painkillers were slowly wearing off, it would probably be easier to just pour the whole tube on the tiles and roll over in it.
“Will do, thanks.”
You closed the door behind you and sighed. The undressing required an accompaniment of grunts, hisses and curses, and when you finally got into the shower (hitting yourself only once while doing so) you were all sweaty and panting as if you’d run up twenty flights of stairs.
You winced as the warm water poured over your body, but you couldn’t wait to get rid of the lingering smell of antiseptics. Using soap uncovered the injured spots with a burning precision, but you gritted your teeth and soldiered through it, changing position slightly so you wouldn’t cause more damage with shampoo and conditioner. Condemning your past self for choosing a matching set of hair products, you were forced to guess and pick one to pour a little bit of it on your hand to judge which is which based on the texture of the fluid. Why did you even bother…?
When you were done and more or less dry, you put on the panties and wrapped another towel around yourself. A slow thumping in your head was growing stronger by the minute, but it was still bearable. As for taking care of the bruises… you realized you didn’t even know where the arnica ointment was. You’d bought one on your way just in case, but that meant--
You groaned and rubbed an eye with the back of your hand. Help it was, then.
“Neil?” you called out, cracking open the door.
A sudden rumble of a chair made you cringe, but a corner of your mouth twitched.
“What is it?” he asked as his rushed steps carried him closer.
“Could you help me with putting something on the most banged-up spots, please?” - a sheepish smile crept on your lips - “I thought about just mixing some cream with my lotion and rubbing it all over, but--”
He scoffed as if the idea personally offended him. “Jesus, please don’t. I’ll be right back.”
Your legs seemed to weigh a tonne, but also started to shake as though they were about to give in any moment, so you sat back on the edge of a bathtub with relief.
Neil came back after a while and muffled clanking suggested he brought a full medkit with him. You waited as he washed his hands thoroughly, and you stifled an amused giggle at the dedication, even though it was nothing more but common sense.
Neil’s soft voice broke the silence. “I’m gonna take a look at those wounds first, but for that, I need to touch you, is it okay?”
“Yeah, of course,” you shrugged. “I imagine you can’t do plenty without that, huh?”
A light chuckle. “Fair enough.” And featherlike touches that followed.
Careful fingers examining every bruised inch of skin, starting from the freshly hurt shin, scraped knees, going up your thighs until they met the edge of the towel. Then, ghosting over your hands, unhurriedly moving up the forearms…
You realized your breath got shaky.
He tucked a still quite damp strand of hair behind your ear and his fingertips glided over your forehead and down your temple, traced your jawline up to your chin. His knuckles grazed your neck, then moved across your collarbones, but when they met the towel again, Neil hesitated.
“Nothing you haven’t seen before, right?” you joked playfully and untucked the corner of the towel, letting it slide down your body.
A sharp inhale and a slipped-out curse.
“Christ…” uttered Neil, and you were quite sure what he was referring to. Your hip pulsated with dull pain in the place where the oxygen container had been, or rather where it must have moved to during the escape, bruising the hip bone and surrounding area at the impact.
You forced a crooked smile to your face. “And here I was hoping it looked better than it felt.”
“I can always lie to you if you want,” he offered, aiming for a lighter tone.
Shaking your head, you nibbled on your bottom lip. Somehow, the sole thought of him lying to you seemed like a certain heartache.
“No.” Your voice sounded weak, but maybe that was understandable, given how powerless you felt overall. Or maybe you could stop being so pathetic any moment now.
You closed your eyes, and while you tried to parley with your brain to give you a break, Neil started meticulously treating your wounds, focused on not causing any more discomfort than it was needed. You switched all your attention to his ministrations, grimacing slightly from time to time as he was tending particularly sore spots. Neil’s warm fingers contrasted with the cold ointment, all the different sensations fought a merciless battle to take precedence over one another, making even more of a mess in your tired head.
You heard Neil shifting in front of you as he was about to move to your injured face. Acting on an impulse, you spread your legs to allow him to come closer, and so he did, positioning himself on his knees between your thighs without a word. Quite a concentration, you thought and smiled fondly to your memories of the times you’d seen him so committed to a task. Slightly furrowed brows, blonde strands falling into shining blue eyes, with a bottom lip tugged between the teeth...
A brief touch on your temple brought you back to reality and you gasped, reaching out to hold on to Neil to keep your balance. As you rested your hands on his sides, he gently cupped your face and continued with taking care of the bruises. It felt as if the warmth radiating from him was mending you whole, even more so when it got combined with tender, soothing brushes of Neil’s thumb against your cheek. You melted into his palm and exhaled slowly, dropping your shoulders and relaxing.
Before you could stop the words from spilling out, you said under your breath, “It was just a fall, I don’t know how it got that bad,” voicing the thought that’s been on your head all day.
Neil pulled back abruptly and the tranquil moment shattered like glass against the bathroom tiles.
“Are you being serious right now? Just a fall? You’re lucky you’re alive, goddamnit, let alone able to walk!” Disbelief mixed with anger in his tone, taking you aback. And to your surprise, it felt like yet another wound, inflicted right at your chest. “Y-you hit the wall before you crashed on the ground, you--” his voice broke and Neil sighed. You heard him packing the medkit, simply tossing things inside before he moved away.
“Oh,” was all you could say, reaching for the abandoned towel to wrap it over your shoulders, in a sudden and desperate need to cover yourself. In every way possible. “Remind me to tie a cat and a buttered slice of bread to myself the next time we do this.”
He didn’t respond to your poor attempt at lighting up the mood, instead, you heard the door handle, a deadpanned “I’ll heat up the food” and he was gone.
You had no idea where his reaction had come from. Normally, you’d have followed him straight away to confront him, but right then you felt so exhausted and helpless you just slouched in your spot, with your hands fisted on the towel, and sat like that for a while, leveling your breath. You mustered all the strength you had left, found your clothes and put them on. Then, you tied the blindfold, letting a piece of sleek material bring a shred of comfort and hide a pitiful glimmer in the corners of your eyes.
You joined Neil in the other room and sat at the table. He didn’t comment on your attire nor the choice of accessories, hell, he barely even spoke to you when he put the plate in front of you, as well as through the whole meal.
Even though you’d picked up your favourite comfort food on the way, it tasted bland, and with your stomach tied into a knot, you couldn’t force more than a few bites into your system. Judging by the sounds - or rather the lack thereof - coming from across the table, Neil’d lost his appetite too.
Finally, you cleared your throat, breaking the heavy silence. “I think I’m full,” you said and stood up, grimacing slightly.
“I’ll do the dishes, go lie down,” he said quietly. “Please.”
As if he anticipated an argument. You really had no energy for that.
“Thank you. Are you--...” you stumbled on the question, but Neil chimed in.
“I’ll be on the couch.”
...maybe it was for the best.
You nodded and turned on your heel to fetch a spare pillow and a blanket while Neil was occupied with the dishes. The ever-growing headache was becoming unbearable, but you hoped that the sweet arms of Morpheus would bring a much-needed release soon. You brushed your teeth quickly and mumbling “‘night,” you disappeared into the bedroom, leaving the door half open for god knows what reasons. Perhaps to make you feel less alone.
The plan of sleeping off the worst pain looked good on paper but proved to be too hard to execute. That bloody awful feeling of being tired beyond comprehension and still unable to doze off, right? You tossed and turned (although carefully), trying to find the most comfortable position. After a while, you took the blindfold off and curled on your side, staring into the nothingness again. Listening to the sound of running water coming from the bathroom. Forcing every breath through your clenched chest. Trying to focus on anything other than neverending soreness.
You heard Neil’s footsteps and how they stopped right at your door. Stalling.
And you didn’t even try pretending you were asleep. Waiting.
“Hey... I wanted to check if you need anything before I turn in for the night.”
The softness of his voice was tainted by something as if he was holding back. But you were so glad to hear it anyway.
“Actually,” you said, propping yourself on the elbow and wincing, “could you bring me one of those fancy painkillers, please? I thought I might do without for a little while but-- ...yeah, not quite.”
“Of course, coming right up.”
When Neil was back, you sat on the bed, allowing him to hand you a glass and ...a shot glass? You shook the latter slightly and something rattled inside.
“Ah, okay, smart,” you smiled with recognition. “Thanks.”
“Don’t tell me you thought it was vodka?”
A hint of amusement in his tone made you snort.
“I can’t say I would mind,” - shrugging, you swallowed the pill and washed it down with cool water - “but this is gonna be more efficient, I guess.”
You shifted in your spot to put down both glasses on a bedside table. Neil was there to make sure you actually placed them on top of it, pushing your forearm gently when you were about to create a mess.
That light touch brought a lump back to your throat. As if the awkward silence wasn’t suffocating you enough.
“If that’s all…” said Neil quietly, taking a step towards the door.
But you reached out into the darkness and found his hand.
“Neil…” you squeezed his fingers, desperately trying to convey words that eluded you. Your plea was barely a whisper. “...stay?”
The pulse pounded in your ears as the stillness that followed seemed to last forever.
Then, Neil squeezed your hand back.
“I will,” he choked out, and his thumb grazed over your knuckles. “Be right back.”
You nodded and let go of his hand, not even sure that he could see your gesture, then moved to the other side of the bed. The held-back breath escaped in a shudder as another wave of pain overrode your senses, leaving a trail of cold sweat down your spine.
A faint tock of the light switch in the other room, then footsteps and a pillow landing next to yours. Neil snuggled down, keeping his distance, and you curled again in your spot, hoping that his proximity will calm you down enough to fall asleep. But as you said your goodnights and Neil’s breath leveled and got deeper, you still waited on the pills to start working, getting more and more lost in your own head and thoughts you’d managed to keep lidded on until now.
Because if only you’d cracked that safe faster. Or maybe if you’d discussed that escape route beforehand, somebody would have found a better path through the roofs. No, scratch that, the plan was tight, and it was your goddamn fault that you’d gotten distracted by a sodding rain, of all things. And that jump? Bloody amateur hour. Should have seen that coming, stepped to the side, or caught onto anything. You’d been granted a second chance at that wall. But no, you’d had to panic like a bush-leaguer, as if it had been your first fall in your life. And now you were lying there, feeling sorry for yourself. Abso-fucking-lutely pathetic.
What if Madame Karma finally decided to make you pay? What if you were never going to get your sight back? A warm tear trickled down your face slowly. No more free runs and adrenaline rushes while taking shortcuts through the most obscure places. No more lying on the rooftops to observe how the sky changes colours through the night. No more sitting on the hill and watching how the sun reflected in the river. How it danced on that messy blonde hair. You would never see his blue eyes lighting up again--
Your chin trembled as the tears stained your pillow. It felt as if you were nothing but pain, fear, and heartbreak. Pressing your lips together, you stifled a sob that shook your body mercilessly. You were nothing.
“What’s wrong?”
You wanted to brush it off, to tell him you were okay and he could go back to sleep. But instead, you sniffled and whimpered, unable to pass any word through your tightened throat.
Neil gasped and placed a hand on your shoulder.
“Hey, hey, come here,” he said softly as his fingers pressed lightly onto your back, urging you to move and you shifted into his embrace, clenching your fists on his t-shirt, struggling for every breath. “I’ve got you, it’s okay, it’s gonna be okay,” he cooed, wrapping the arms around you gingerly. A much-needed reassurance whispered over and over again like a plea to anyone who could be listening.
Weeping quietly into Neil’s chest, you sought refuge in his closeness, clinging onto him as he held you and stroked your hair, waiting for the worst to pass. Soon, you ran out of tears, and there were just sobs, convulsing you whole like a heart-wrenching hiccup. Neil hugged you a little tighter, placed a small kiss on top of your head, and started humming, a melody barely more than a murmur. It felt familiar, but why?
By and by, the song and a steady heartbeat against your cheek weaved together and calmed your racing mind. Enough to finally let you drift off, with Neil’s soothing voice and warmth enveloping you, bringing comfort and hope for a better tomorrow.
-----
You should have known better than to expect something to be different when you woke up. Swallowing down the disappointment and resignation, you dug yourself up from under the covers. The pain dialed down, but was very much there, especially during sudden moves.
Maybe you would feel better if you washed your face, still a bit puffed after all that--
…oh shit.
Your brain halted, torn between making you cringe and spreading the warmth through your chest. If you were to survive the day, the key was not to think about what happened last night. At least you didn’t have to look him in the eyes, huh? Armed with a smile, albeit a bit sour, you grabbed some clothes on your way out and ventured into the quiet living room.
“Neil?”
For a split second you were sure he was gone, but--
“Over here.” Judging by the sound of it, here was somewhere near the couch. “How are you feeling?”
Concern. Obviously. He’d seen you at your worst, so there was no point in hiding your state.
“Like I’ve spent some time inside a cement mixer,” you sighed. “But better, thanks. What time is it?”
“Almost 3 o’clock.” A faint thud of a book being put down. “Are you hungry? I was about to fix something.”
It was a good moment for your insides to growl in confirmation, but at least this time your body decided to spare you. Although your stomach was pretty much cleaving to your backbone, all right.
“Oh yes, please.” You smiled with appreciation and raised a hand with a bundle of clothes. “I’ll join you in a minute.”
That minute took a little longer, as your mobility was still pretty lacking, but fresh as a (beaten-up) daisy, in a comfortable outfit and a blindfold, you followed your nose to the kitchenette.
“Smells delicious.”
A soft chuckle came through the sizzling. “Hope it tastes good as well, wanna try?” When you nodded, you heard Neil walking up to you. “Open your mouth, careful - it’s hot.”
You recognized the rich flavor as some variation of the Napoli sauce, perfectly balanced, and you could only hum in approval. Where the hell had he gotten those herbs from?
“It’s amazing,” you said, but couldn’t resist a little smirk, “or I’m just starving.”
Neil scoffed lightly. “Might be that.” There was a smile and a hint of pride in his tone, and it made you beam a little wider. “Come sit down.”
When you did, and a bowl of pasta landed in front of you on the table, your mind involuntarily went back to last evening. That tension. Sudden distance. Everything after that. What was worse, it seemed like you weren’t the only one thinking about it, because the silence that fell between you now grew heavy with unresolved issues lingering in the air.
But maybe you were misreading the room and you were fine.
“Listen, about yesterday--”
...or not.
Instead of letting Neil finish, you panicked, and before you could stop yourself, you used his moment of hesitation to blurt out, “Oh god, I’m so sorry, I was exhausted and everything hurt and--” you frowned and hid the face in your palm. The shame felt like a tightening ring around your chest, making it hard to breathe. ”I’m sorry you had to see that.”
“Wait, what?” huffed Neil, his voice filled with consternation. ”Jesus, no, that’s not what I meant, I--” he faltered and groaned, then added more softly, “Why are you even apologizing for that?” And when you shook your head, unable to find the right words, Neil gently touched your arm, rubbing it up and down slowly. “I’m glad you weren’t alone.”
Your heart clenched with fondness as you palmed over his hand.
“Thank you for being there for me.”
A twist of the wrist and a light squeeze on your fingers.
“Of course.”
Like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
After a moment, you asked quietly, “If it isn’t about that, then what?”
A loud buzz cut through the air, the unexpected noise almost making you jump in your seat. Impeccable timing.
Neil picked the vibrating phone from the table. “It’s work, I have to get that.” His hand was still holding yours, reluctant to let go. “If I’m not done by the time you finish eating, two words: bed rest.”
“May I make it a couch rest, doc?” you grinned, and by the resigned sigh you could tell Neil definitely rolled his eyes at you.
“Just make yourself comfy and horizontal, all right?” A final brush of his thumb against your fingers and he was up, walking off from the table. “Hi, what’s up?”
Whatever they needed him for, it took so much time that you finished your meal and obediently moved to the couch. That unfinished talk left you anxious enough to nervously pick at the edge of the blanket, but as Neil was still lost in a hushed conversation, and the aforementioned blanket was way too cosy, you slowly drifted off into a dreamless nap.
You weren’t sure what woke you up - a shift on the other side of the couch, or a heavy sigh, one of those signaling the weight of the whole world on somebody’s shoulders. Hearing the latter was enough to wipe the remains of sleep from your system and you sat up, grunting slightly.
“What is it?”
Another sigh.
“I’m an idiot.”
You puffed your cheeks and shrugged, a corner of your mouth twitching in a nervous smile.
“Before I let out a purposeful no and kick you - why are you saying that?” Silence. “...Neil?” When the answer was not coming for too long, you moved to your knees, reaching out until you touched his shoulder. No reaction. Trying to keep a rising worry at bay, you urged him quietly, “Talk to me, please.”
Neil inhaled slowly and he finally spoke, his voice barely there.
“I’m so sorry.”
“For what?” you asked, knitting your brows together as you brushed your hand down his arm only to find his clenched fist, tightening even further under your touch.
“For yesterday, for letting it out on you, when you were just--” he paused to swallow audibly, and then continued, blurting out one strained word after another, “and all of that while this whole mess is my goddamn fault because if I hadn’t hesitated out there, we both would have made it in time--”
“No, no, no, you can’t do that to yourself,” you said, crawling into his lap and nestling between his legs, wrapping yours around his waist. “It was a perfectly normal reaction.” The pulse thumped in your ears when you placed one hand on Neil’s chest and the other one travelled up along his neck to cup his face. Then your thumb glided over a wet trail on his cheek and it felt as if your heart shattered into a million pieces. Oh please, no. “My darling...” you whispered, but it was as if Neil barely acknowledged you were there, trembling and lost.
He pressed his forehead to yours and continued, traces of dread ringing in his hollow tone more and more with every choked-out sentence.
“When I turned back and I saw that--….at first, I thought you’d been shot, then you fell and-- suddenly all I could think was if your oxygen container was intact, or--... I called the Cavalry on the way down but I was so scared I was too late, I thought--” his voice broke and you felt him frowning as he shuddered, struggling to carry on. “I thought that you were gone, and I didn’t--”
His heart raced under your palm while you kept stroking his cheek, consoling him softly, “Neil, I’m here, it’s all right, I’m here.” But when that didn’t seem like enough to bring him back to you, you reached to his neck to pull him closer and kissed him, desperate to make him stop spiralling down. To make him stop hurting.
A muffled whine against your lips. But then you felt him melt and he kissed you back, still helpless, wrapping his arms around you carefully as if he expected you to fall apart under his touch. Not quite there. You deepened the kiss purposefully, burying your hands in his hair, tugging at the strands as you pressed yourself to him as much as you could in your position. You didn’t care about your own pain or discomfort. If any of you were meant to be lost in any way, it might as well be this. Neil gasped and lifted you up so you properly straddled him, then tightened the embrace, clinging on to you for dear life as he captured you in another kiss, and this time it was his turn to try to convey the unbearable mixture of despair, relief, and immense longing. All of that poured into this simple act of devotion until there was nothing but pure need. To touch and to be touched. To hold and to be held. To be close. To be wanted. To be found.
A breathless moan escaped your mouth and Neil pulled back ever so slightly.
“I don’t want to hurt you,” he said softly, his fingertips gliding over your features.
Oh, how much you missed looking into his eyes.
The fact that he cared, without simply going ahead with it, made your chest clench with fondness. At this point, you trusted him beyond reason, although it was still nice to hear it.
“I’m not made of glass,” you huffed, nuzzling his nose.
A low hum and a trail of kisses along your jawline. You shivered when his lips reached a spot just below your ear and then smiled against your skin.
“Are you sure?” his husky voice was playful, but you knew he was double-checking.
“Try me.”
That moment was not about chasing the high. It was about feeling each other. Being with one another. As close as possible. That couldn’t wait, and neither could any of you, tugging at the clothes in random order with urgency.
Neil looped his arm around your shoulders, settling you on your side in his embrace. Keeping you steady. Safe. Close. And even though his kisses were desperate and leaving you winded, his touch was gentle, and you knew the blue eyes were watching you attentively, ready to react to the smallest sign of discomfort. But also to any encouragement to go further.
A hitched breath. A leg hooked on his hip. Fingers dragged across his back.
He was ready to give you everything and take whatever you were willing to offer. And you wanted to do the same for him until everything else lost its meaning and it was just you and him, and the fire that burned inside you. Searing every nerve. Cleansing the doubts. Numbing the pain. Lighting up the darkness. And, in the end, bringing resolution as you both came undone, moaning and gasping for air only to be comforted by hands cupping cheeks and yet another kiss. Slow. Tender. Full of admiration.
When Neil drew back and shifted slightly, you whined in protest, wrapping your leg around him tighter to keep him in place.
“Where are you going?”
A quiet chuckle, followed by a feeling of a soft blanket sliding over your naked body. And a kiss on the tip of your nose.
“I’m not going anywhere.”
You sighed with content as Neil pulled you closer again. The light stubble scratched your fingers as they studied the impossible angles of his face unhurriedly.
“Good.”
(next chapter ->)
58 notes · View notes
by-inky · 3 years
Text
random Amira (twst) headcanons
,,are those headcanons if she’s my oc? dunno
am just vibing ok (more headcanons here)
Amira likers (if you do even exist) come get yo juice
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• Singing voice claims! I don’t really find a JP voice that would suit her but I did find quite some songs with the pitch I see for her! please click on the links for the songs!
Ashes (Promare) - Hiroyuki Sawano feat. Gemie (especially the second part ≈2:12, it’s more potent)
BAR2NG4女14yoN (Promare) - Hiroyuki Sawano (voice at 0:30 but the part at 1:03 is very potent too)
Poor Unfortunate Souls/I Put a Spell on You - Voctave ft. Rachel Potter
Gurenge - AmaLee cover (I see Amira’s voice as more velvety or warm, but the pitch is thERE)
Arabian Nights (Aladdin) - JADA cover
Tick Tock - Clean Bandit & Mabel ft. 24kGoldn (this voice is a bit different from the others but I still see it a pretty good match)
linked to the previous point, her voice generally would be pretty potent and energetic. she probably uses to sing when she’s feeling a bit stressed, but also hums mindlessly when she’s doing something like cooking or tidying
likes to cook a lot! she didn’t have to do that since there are maids at her place, but still really enjoys it. it started as a challenge to herself when she was younger; she desperately wanted to be proud of herself by not letting people making her things, and found it enjoyable quickly. she also helped Jamil to cook from time to time (cough sneakily cough),, she can cook lots of plates now and still wants to expand her knowledge! also man her cooking is delicious
linked to the previous point!! she has nO IDEA how to cook seafood tho, especially mollusks,, those aren’t common at her place, and she never had the chance to lay a hand on them pls help her. I also hc that Jamil also doesn’t have much of a clue to cook them, so they’re just confused together. Of course I can’t talk for him, but I think it’d be pretty funny (the Yuu in the last pic is Carol, @fumikomiyasaki’s Yuu)
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her sunglasses aren’t there for display!! Amira’s flirtatious (?) personality sometimes hypnotizes accidentally. her UM requires her to look seductively at someone. by training this magic, she involuntary got used to it, to a point that it made part of her behavior. the sunglasses block her red eyes light, so she doesn’t hypnotize someone unknowingly.
maybe I've already mentioned this before, but she has three siblings, all younger than her
Amira was a very mature kid for her age because she had to look after her mom😩
about Amira’s mom: she was forced to marry the son of a wealthy man. Her family is wealthy too, so the marriage was arranged between the children of two high-statused friends. she wasn’t too contrary to the marriage since she started to feel something for his fiancé. during the marriage, she genuinely fell for his husband, but he had to be away during prolonged times due to business. she then realized that the marriage was like a cage that she couldn’t be freed from, and slowly but surely developed a depression. she fell out of love with her husband, thus worsening her state. now she’s most of her time in her room and doesn’t get out too often. she looks tired and melancholic.
about Amira’s dad: absent father 102%, both physically and emotionally. he’s a quite reckless man, full of himself and pretty narcissistic as well due to how well his business goes.
OVERBLOT REASONS: arson since Amira’s twisted off Jafar’s staff, there HAS to be manipulation somewhere. She had pretty many reasons to overblot (looking after one of her parents; being looked down by men; being turned down numerous times by her father), that grew in the span of a year.
may I say that her place is quite male chauvinist,,her father is passive-aggressive to her and her younger sister (who would be the “next in line” before a boy) only because they’re women
Amira’s family is wealthy and known for this along her land, and has a small nobility title. But not high enough as her father wants.
Amira’s father wanted to get her married to a son of a noble family. She is VERY contrary to this, however. The father, then, decided to make a bet with her; enroll her in NRC, a male-only school, and force her to study there for three years. If the school didn’t kick her out for being a woman, she wouldn’t get married. If it did, she’d marry the eldest son of a friend of his. She was terrified of this, so she kept a cover for the first year that blew out at the beginning of the second year due to her overblot.
I KNOW THIS SOUNDS SO CLICHÉ OK BUT IT’S THE BEST I COULD CAME OUT WITH
the subtle manipulation would continue even at the school due to the cover and create her pain. She had to cover her outgoing personality, not to mention voice, movements and face traits, to keep her safe. She would stray away and just look like a shy boy, avoiding crowds and groups of people.
but everything would burst when there’s an argument between her and Jamil (probably about a small thing, but things heated up), and he yelled that he was using her all that time; Amira is close with him since childhood and many times offered to help him with chores. He’d say he used her kindness to shorten the tasks, when that wasn’t true at all. Jamil was skeptical of her at first, but then genuinely opened up and warmed up to her, he only said that to hurt her feelings. Which did.
and boom overblot time. Maybe I’ll draw it one day, but she’d have a big black and red cobra around her neck, and the figure behind her would be the same cobra as in the snake staff, but black with red and golden ornaments.
ALSO IF YOU HAVE AN OC BASED OFF ALADDIN TELL ME SO WE CREATE TENSION BETWEEN THEM AND AMIRA SINCE ALADDIN BROKE JAFAR’S STAFF
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sadiq very probably had a crush on Amira at one point, but it was delusional
she dislikes coldness wiTH A PASSION
she loves lanterns!! especially the ones with warmer colors!
and I see that whenever she feels sad, she would hide inside a closet or under a desk. it makes her feel covered and helps her calm down faster.
THANKS FOR STAYING UNTIL THE END HERE A SMOOCH
MWAH
32 notes · View notes
fbfh · 4 years
Text
glowing - leo x reader
genre: fluffy mutual pining w quick (cute) resolution
word count: 1.6k
au: none??
pairing: Leo x Daughter of Apollo
requested: hell ye!! hope you enjoy it xo 
warnings: none?? yr half sibs n nico are all protective over you but nothing unhealthy lol
summary: You and Leo have been crushing on each other and cockblocked by your siblings for too long, so you decide to take matters into your own hands. 
reccomended songs: sunshine - atlas, musetta’s waltz - moonstruck soundtrack
a/n: not super edited but what’s new lol  i just forgot how to spell edit for a hot second lmao
requests r open babes xo
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Between your siblings being ready to maul someone with arrows (and bad music) at a moment’s notice, and Nico - honorary brother and the Apollo cabin’s unofficial bodyguard, dating is… tricky. Even your uncoordinated eight year old half brother Kevin has offered to bang on a guitar and scream, making everyone’s ears bleed. A few weeks ago, an Ares kid made your little sister Sophie cry, and Nico found out. The entire Ares cabin spent two weeks getting all the skeletons out of their closets. Literally. More human bones would appear every time they cleared some out, rattling unsettlingly. People generally don’t mess with you, or other Apollo kids, which you usually don’t mind. You wouldn’t even give it a second thought.
But you did give it a second thought. And a third. And a fourth. And several others. All of them centered around Leo Valdez. You’ve been admiring him from afar for weeks. You didn’t know why his friends were so hard on him at times. You got the vibe that if he started dating someone, his friends would give him the ‘hurt them and we’ll kill you’ speech instead of the other way around. 
At first simply observing was cathartic, seeing him fix swords and laugh with his friends, but as time went on, it just became frustrating. You just want something to happen, you want to make him as happy as he makes you. The most frustrating part was that there had been so many missed opportunities. There was the time two weeks ago when you were flirting after picking up your harp bow from getting a few touch ups, the time after that you two lost track of time and watched the sunset on the docks, and just days ago when you stayed up late talking in Bunker 9 when neither of you could sleep. 
Every single time, one of your siblings either scared him off or dragged you away before you could leave. Most recently, it was Will and Nico. You could swear Nico was muttering to Will, something along the lines of “what is it with that guy and going after my little sisters?”  This wasn’t surprising, since they got together, the whole cabin has made Nico feel really welcome, resulting in him treating you all like sibling-figures. 
You shake your head, trying to focus on the sparring practice that starts in a few minutes. Camp Half Blood and Camp Jupiter are arranging the first inter-camp capture the flag match, and everyone’s really excited. And training like crazy. If it goes well, it might happen as frequently as once a month, but you have to get through this one, first. Most of the extra time at camp has been spent practicing sparring, battle strategy, and other tactics. Campers were encouraged to watch other fights closely, try to spot defensive weaknesses, and study technique. Right now, Leo and Jason are demonstrating some method of something or other. You’re watching Leo fight, and you’re just… awestruck. You don't even know what to do with yourself. He's agile and light on his feet, and he moves almost like a cat. His muscles flex as he strikes, and your heart lurches. It looks like he's losing. All of a sudden he smirks, and shoots out a blast of flame, sending Jason stumbling back. Campers applaud at the successful win, and he jokingly bows. 
"Thank you, thank you… I'm amazing, I know-" Jason shoves him jokingly, and clears his throat for the crowd's attention, while Leo gets a glass of water. 
"Okay guys, pair up to practice sparring. Don't be afraid to spar with someone new, the more fighting styles you know the better…" you turn towards the water cooler.  Watching him now, you could swear he's all god. He has a gold halo in the late afternoon sunshine, and a drop of water trickles down his face onto his neck. You make a small strangled noise and know this has gone far enough. You need to do something about this crush before it kills you. You walk over to him, and before you can chicken out, ask, “Hey Leo, want to spar?” He almost chokes on his water. He agrees, seeming pleasantly surprised that you asked him. You pull out your harp bow and he pulls out a large, flat hammer. 
‘Good for offense and defense,’ you think, ‘he’s smarter than he looks…’ 
You start off slowly, getting a feel for each other, and your fighting styles. You spar for hours, and end up tied for wins and losing track of time. He gets you off balance with a fancy move, and next thing you know, there’s a nail gun at your neck. 
“I win,” he pants, smirking. Your cheeks flush.
“Can you- show me how to do that?” you say, catching your breath. He agrees, and walks behind you, hands on yours. He shows you how to shift your weight, causing your opponent to lose theirs. His right hand moves to your thigh, readjusting your alignment. 
“...Keeping your center of gravity low,” he breathes, his lips dangerously close to your ear, “so you won’t fall.” Neither of you move away yet. You turn your face towards his, eyes on the ground.
“Can you… show me again…” you breathe. A smile twitches at his lips. He leans in, and-
“Apollo cabin, inspection time!” You jump away from each other.
“All Apollo campers back to cabin seven asap!” you flinch at your brother’s voice, which you know is directed at you. You sigh, turn towards him, and yell back, “I’m coming, just finishing this sparring match!” You see him retreat and turn back to Leo. Before he knows it, you have him pinned to the ground. 
“Gotcha,” you say with a smirk of your own. You lean further down, and whisper, “Meet me at the docks at midnight.” You pull away, and jog off toward your cabin, leaving Leo flustered and excited. 
Later that night when you finally reach the docks, Leo’s already there. “Hi,” he says when he sees you, “I know I’m a little bit early I just… got nervous…” You giggle and reassure him.
“I just hope I didn’t keep you waiting for too long,” 
“Don’t worry,” he replies, “it was worth the wait.” You blush. He looks around, and you realize he’s nervous.
“Don’t worry about the cleaning harpies,” you comfort him, “I left them some muddy armor to distract them, we should be good for a while,” you both laugh a little, and you realize he’s staring at you. You look at him inquisitively, a smile playing at your lips and a blush creeping up your cheeks.
“What?”
"You're glowing," he breathes the words softly, amazed by your presence. You look down at your arms, and blush. Your cheeks turn a soft, fluorescent shade of rose. Bioluminescence was a very rare, pretty useless power that some children of Apollo could have. It did, however, allow you to act as a nightlight for your cabin, which everyone (older kids included) enjoyed. No one in your cabin did well in the dark, so everyone slept a little better since you'd been claimed. 
“You are glowing, right? It’s not just me?” he asks, half joking. 
“Yeah, no,” you confirm, snapping out of your thoughts, “that’s a… thing that happens sometimes. It’s saved me a lot of bruised shins in the middle of the night.” As you both laugh, you decide enough is enough. 
“So, I’m taking the fact that you showed up here at all a good sign,” you say, knowing you have to start somewhere, “I don’t really know how to say this, so I’m just going to say it.” Your adrenaline is racing. Your limbs are tingly, and your heart is beating so fast. You know you have his full attention, which makes all of that worse. It’s now or never, you remind yourself, and I’m choosing now.
“I have a huge crush on you.” Visible surprise and excitement is all over his face and body language, and an involuntary smile starts on his mouth. You continue, partially aware that you’re nervous rambling at this point.
“I was hoping you might say it first, but my siblings and Nico are so intimidating and I was like forget that, I’m seizing the day, and…”
“And?” he asks, in a breathless smile.
“And… do you-”
“I like you too. A lot - just ask my friends, I never shut up about you-” You can’t hold back a giggle as you place your hands on his face and pull him in for a kiss. He’s stunned for a second before he kisses you back, gently resting his hands on your arms. You smile into the kiss, which makes him smile, and-
“What the hell, Valdez?!” 
You jump, pulling apart from him. 
“Will! What are you-” before you can finish the thought, darkness pools at his feet and suddenly Nico is standing in front of him. He greets Will with a mushy pet name and leans in to kiss him, but Will stops him before he can and clears his throat. 
“Wha-” Nico turns his head, “...oh…” 
You laugh in disbelief. Mr. High And Mighty was here for the exact same reason you were. You smile fades as you realize that even though you have dirt on him, he still has dirt on you. 
“You know,” you say, reaching for Leo’s hand, “I don’t know if I saw you here, or what…” 
Will wraps an arm around Nico, and starts in the opposite direction. “Funny, I don’t remember seeing you either,” he shrugs.
“Right,” you reply. 
“Right.”
You both drag your respective boyfriends in opposite, more private directions. Suffice it to say, there was a lot more kissing that night - and no more interruptions.
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S/O with the best vibes headcanons
Description: can I request kuroo, and the Miya twins w a fem s/o or crush (whichever u want:3) who’s room has just like the most chill vibes, like they have a record player, lots of plants, books, fairy lights, and a cute colour theme that they just adore. Maybe like their first time coming to visit & staying till 2am cause it’s just so welcoming and calm?
Requested: YESSSS OF COURSEEEE🥺🥺🥺 this is so pure and I’m excited to get these hashed out for you🥺🥺🥺 honestly both your admins HARDCORE relate to these vibes. Like we both have these things scattered between our apartments. So you’re really pulling on some great vibes here. I’ll try not to go too overboard 😉☺️
A/N: soooo uhhh. I’m not dead.. lolol. Just kinda reallyyyyy lost any motivation to write for not only this blog, but any writing in general honestly. BUT this blog is still kicking, we do still take requests in, and love seeing them. I plan on doing a few more requests and/or WIPS that motivation comes for. 
Also..I apologize if Osamu’s isn’t the greatest, I did his first and this is the first scenario type post I have done in a longgggggggg time. But regardless hope you all enjoy! ~Admin Crow 💚
Miya Osamu
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“and if you push this button on the remote you can totally change the colors to the lights too. Pretty neat right?”
To be honest, Osamu didn’t hear much of your explanation of all the things in your room. Mostly because he was overwhelmed by the pure vibes coming from your room. He was a little surprised that you had invited him over to study. You two hadn’t been dating for very long, so inviting him over to study, in your bedroom no less, had taken him by surprise. But of course curiosity got the best of Samu, so he wasn’t about to turn down this opportunity. Looking around, he noticed the way your lights were set up to give off whatever color you wanted to hit every corner of the room. And how your cute little starter plants overtook your dresser. Candles of specific colors adorned your bookshelf where you had organized them by color to match an obvious theme you were going for. Osamu especially enjoyed the record player that had music softly playing; the record turning slowly to match the music coming out of it. He’d have to investigate your books and records later when you showed him your favorite ones. 
He took in the way your lights had pictures hanging from them, most of them were pictures you had taken with your friends. But he noticed the corner by your bed had ones the two of you had taken together. For some reason Osamu found that really sweet. 
“Samu? Did you here me? Hello, earth to Osamu.” you called out, trying to gain the attention of your boyfriend, who had been staring at your fairy lights after taking in your room for a solid 3 minutes without looking or acknowledging you comments. You were nervous about what his response to your room would be. The way you decorated your room was in a way that really showed who you were, and you didn’t want to just share that with anyone. 
Osamu finally realized you were calling him and turned to look at you with a lazy smile noticing your slightly guarded look and could tell you were waiting for a response. “Come here F/n, there’s no reason to be anxious, I totally think your set up is amazing. Show me more?” 
Miya Atsumu
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 “You have so many books F/N! How the hell do you afford all of these!?” Atsumu had never seen so many books outside of a library in his life. The fact that you had two full size, five shelf book shelves in your room side by side. Each bookshelf adorned with rows and stacks of books taking up every possible space that you could cram a book into. 
You rubbed the back of your head blushing slightly “well....I found most of them at bookstores, thrift stores, sales, friends and family who gave them as gifts...” you rambled, not sure what his response would be. 
Atsumu ran to another corner of your room immediately starting to flip through your almost equally impressive stack of records. When you had invited Atsumu over to work on a school paper together, you didn’t know what his thoughts of your room would be. Even though you two had been best friends since you were 6, he had yet to been inside your room. Although your locker at school had a lot of similar vibes as your room, a few mini plants you had snuck into school were on the top shelf, pictures adorning your locker door, and other things gave Atsumu an idea of your inner vibes. 
It was something he really loved about you. He would be lying if he didn’t admit that he was dying to see what your room looked like. Any chance to get closer to you was really his end goal. I mean, he’s been trying to go over to your place for years to be shot down every time. But the opportunity had finally arrived and you had caved, finally allowing him the opportunity into your private life. 
“Hey F/N, got any secret journals hidden amongst all of these books full of secrets you haven’t shared with me?” he teased going back to the books scattered over your desk. 
Sighing, you sunk into your corner of comfy, plushy bean bag pillows and called for him to join you “Knock it off Tsumu, get over here and sit down so we can work on this paper please?” 
Atsumu took one look at the comfy looking pile before taking three long strides and plopping down onto the one next to you, jostling you and your laptop in the process. “I could really get used to hanging out here F/N. I say we start having movie nights at your place. In fact, let’s just do everything over here from now on.”
“Don’t push your luck there Tsumu.”
Kuroo Tetsurou
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“can I choose the next record F/N?” 
Looking up from your sketchbook, you noticed your boyfriend looking over at you with a lazy look. To be honest, he looked completely at home, fitting in with the glow of the fairy lights that you had dimmed just enough to allow you guys to see what you were doing. 
Kuroo had been surprised when you suggested doing homework together at your house, since his room was the usual hang out spot, unless you chose to be outside in nice weather. It’s not that he didn’t think you didn’t want him in your room, he was just usually the first to suggest studying over at his place. 
But seeing the way your room just gave off vibes that were purely, you, had Kuroo ready to study and hang out here all the time. He found your room a chill environment, but still productive enough that he wasn’t wasting his time studying. He had particularly enjoyed flipping through your pile of records, and naming off fun facts of all the cute plants you had scattered in perfect places in your room to capture the sunlight. 
You nodded at Kuroo’s question, returning to your sketchbook, immediately getting lost in the drawing you were working on for class again. A few minutes later you recognized the soft melody of your and Kuroo’s favorite song coming from the record player. Suddenly two strong, volleyball and chemistry note taking worn, hands gently took your pencil and sketchbook from you. Setting them down next to you before pulling you to your feet and into your dorky boyfriend’s arms. 
“Tetsu you cannot dance for your life. What are we doing?” you laughed, letting him pull you close and swaying with him. 
“I can’t dance?! Excuse me have you not seen the grace and beauty that I have on the volleyball court? What makes you think I can’t use that to dance with my beautiful girlfriend?” he defended, although you both knew you were right. 
Laughing you took control, despite the obvious difference in sizes between you two, and spun under his arm, enjoying the quick way he caught himself from tripping. Whether the two of you could dance or not, it didn’t matter. Spending this time with Kuroo was like the world had stopped moving around you. If you could spend forever here in his arms in your room forever you certainly would. 
Although it wouldn’t be spent dancing as Kuroo ruined that moment by throwing you over his shoulder and flopping down on your bed deciding it was time for cuddles while enjoying the rest of your album playing your favorite songs. The two of you laughing and sharing special secret moments that would stay inside your four bedroom walls for eternity. 
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Many Unhappy Returns
Sorry for being gone from these for so long! I was really upset after Rise ended, and just sorta lost my energy there for a while- but I am feeling pretty confident that we can get it back!! 
In the meantime though, it’ll be fun to talk about some episodes! So per request that is over six months old now (sorry @alwayshere195​) Many Unhappy Returns!
- We all know how much the visuals in this show absolutely slap but this episode really kicks it off right away with beautiful scenery
- “Thanks for doing the dirty work for us! Big up Shreddy!” (the fact that this is their super-great-Grandfather makes this so much funnier for reasons I can’t explain)
-Leo would have been seriously injured in the Shredder hadn’t just disappeared like that
- “You fools! You have doomed humanity!” “Have we? No seriously, tell me, this has all been very confusing.”
- “Wow, one season later and I still got full battery, nice!”
- Leo’s overall support of his brothers and his confidence that they can handle it is actually really sweet
- April’s ‘get to safety song’ 
-”Two data points? You’re hypothesising with two data points? Scoff!” 
*Fifteen minutes later*
- ok but just in general, I just really love that they aren’t afraid to have Mikey have genuinely good ideas
- “No one’s responding, I’m the only one who made it!”
- “really? cause’ I thought my overall ninjocity was totally working” “It wasn’t”  “I’m pretty sure it was about to...”
- “She’ll help me! I’m the face man, people love me!” “Last time you saw her she tried to kill you.”  “Who hasn’t?”
- why are there so many good Leo lines? Also, just in general, despite this being a serious episode, the comedy still slaps while not seeming out of place- this is why I love rise tbhhh
-ngl the entire scene where Splinter tells Leo that Big Mama is his ex is probably one of the funniest things ever
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- Splinter apparently met Big Mama in 1984- I kinda wonder if that was a nod to the fact that the og tmnt comic books came out in ‘84
- Splinter’s story is actually really sad tho- he lost so many people in his life, and finally thought he had found happiness with Big Mama, who he assumed was just a driver, not even an actor. Then he was betrayed by her.
-Big Mama’s assistant is there, just standing around and looking cool while the entire fandom begs to know if it’s Venus de Milo
- Leo’s whole plan while Splinter just freaks out in the back
- out of context, this shot is great, but with added context, it’s even better. Like u know that awkward moment when your grandfather walks in on you trying to kill him?
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- eventually Donnie just goes on his phone while their tickling Shredder, and Mikey just chills on Shredder’s shoulders. Like sure, why not
- “You have thrown me into the lion’s den!” “I think it’s more of a kraken’s den”
- It’s the first time we hear Splinter say Leonardo’s name fully, and he’s just telling him to shut tf up
- “My other sons would’ve taken this seriously!” *cuts to them tickling Shredder*
- FREAKIN MIKEY LIFTING THAT ENTIRE BOAT????? IT’S AWESOME
-asdfghjjhgfd foreshadowing as to what the drill is for??? yes please not to mention the shot is just simply amazing
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- APRIL FREAKING O’NEIL WHO GOT A CRANE LICENSE  BC OF POSSIBLE FIGHTS WHERE IT MIGHT BE USEFUL???? WE STAN but also what was that conversation like with her parents
-Kraken Tom and the Evil Six. Why is that so funny.
- ngl, Leo’s plan reveal actually had me gasping the first time I watched it. Like idk, despite them showing several times in the first season that Leo is incredibly smart and good at planning, it never clicked in until this episode for me, and I think that was a pretty popular experience- the audience realized just how smart Leo actually was at the same time Splinter did, but it was still seriously foreshadowed and didn’t feel random- just A+ writing for ya there folks
- “I have calculated that this is the site of our final resting spot- I mean, go team!”
- Donnie with his own headstone will forever be iconic and relatable af, but also just another way to add in how much I love the team behind Rise, and how much effort they put into this show
- Leo guessing that April finally used her crane license was kinda sweet tho
- “Trust me.”  “I do.” 
- Donnie and Mikey are both so terrified while they fight, but they still do it, and idk, I think it’s really important that they showed main characters who are still strong and fight despite being scared.
- WHOLESOME- also Splinter hugging Leo tightly idk I just think it’s sweet
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- Splinter just shoving his sleeping children into the sewers gives off tired dad vibes and we stan
- one last thing: I love how in Rise, you really get the sense that they don’t want to be fighting the Shredder, they don’t ever want to deal with this. You want them to beat the Shredder because you know they have ‘normal’ lives to get back to, that ultimately they’re kids who still want to get back home in the end, and while I doubt any of the other tmnt turtles wanted to fight their Shredder, it hits a little differently in Rise- maybe that’s because we see a lot more of their normal lives- but I thinks it’s really cool that the writers provided a scenario like that.
tl;dr- this is an epic episode, but the more serious nature of the plot doesn’t mean that it lacks the comedy- in fact, the tone matches with the rest of the show perfectly, and it’s seriously awesome that they managed to pull it off. It’s a great episode for the start of a new season, and has a bunch of foreshadowing as well.
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illusion-of-death · 3 years
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hey can you talk about the relationship between regan and cornwall in your ideal adaptation? i'm so into this murder couple, you have no idea!
Oh ABSOLUTELY this is like my OTP and I literally never shut up about them so
Regan and Cornwall are pretty much the polar opposite of Goneril and Albany—obviously this is venturing FAR into “purely headcanon” territory, but my thought process here is that while Regan’s marriage was surely political, she as a second-born child would not be nearly as sought-after as Goneril and therefore had more of a choice in the matter, and you know all this already; your post about it was so good and better than anything I could come up with at the moment. When I look at the text, I think they’re clearly in love, and even after Cornwall’s death Regan never quite seems to get over it. What bothers me about several of the adaptations I’ve seen is that they don’t seem to take this into account; they’re very “elder sisters evil” about it and make Regan behave ruthlessly to everyone, including her husband. Maybe this is because the first performance of this play I ever saw did not portray the sisters in such a black and white way, but all of the subsequent productions I saw that took the easy route just felt wrong to me.
I have Further Opinions about them all over my blog already, but we all know tumblr’s tagging system is broken so good luck finding it lol. TL;DR: Regan and Cornwall may be ruthlessly violent and textbook “evil”, but they are not so to each other: they both care very deeply for the other one, and also are constantly building each other up and egging each other on when their schemes turn more violent. Any adaptation of the play that I think portrays their relationship well ought to acknowledge that.
Here’s the thing about *my* adaptation of Lear: it’s a circus show, because I grew up performing in one and I only have one brain cell which is dedicated to combining things I love. This means that while there will be some voiceover, the majority of the story gets communicated through physical body acting rather than the actual words the characters speak. What gets semi-complicated about circus shows (but is also super fun) is that everyone in them is super typecast, since you’re not going to put someone who specializes in Acrobatics in a role that’s heavily composed of aerial acts. The way I wrote it, Regan and Cornwall have a lot of acts together, meaning that whoever’s in those roles are already going to have a ton of chemistry because they’ll have been training in said acts together even outside of the more theatrical choreography that they’d also be learning.
Let’s talk about 3.7 for a bit because that’s The Scene. Gloucester is bound to a chair on one end of the stage, a couple members of the servants ensemble are up on Silks in the background, and the main event is Regan and Cornwall on Pas de Deux, an apparatus very similar to Flying Silks but with narrower fabric (I think? I’ve never done this one; I have a few aerial acts but I mostly specialize in balance). Pas de Deux is arguably one of the most physically gruelling acts there is, and yet if you’re good at it you can make it look super easy, which is why it’s so commonly used for ~the romantic scene~ in contemporary circus shows like this one—seasoned audience members will probably get the vibe. This time, however, the soundtrack is not a soft romantic one, but a very driving, boarderline aggressive song to match the much more energetic way these two will be moving. Also of note about this act, since I realize many people are probably not familiar with it: you’re absolutely reliant on your partner to be able to do just about anything, and it’s pretty obvious to the audience that there wouldn’t be much of an act if it was just one of them. This makes Cornwall’s death halfway through the scene that much more jarring, because the act practically falls apart without him (I’m no choreographer, but I’d want to emphasize to whoever plays Regan that I want to see at least a few “attempted” tricks that just can’t be done without her partner before she exacts her revenge on the servant and takes Glousester’s second eye. Then she tries to help Cornwall stand—maybe they even manage one last finale trick where it looks like he’s barely holding on—I haven’t gotten too far into this yet, but my point here is that I’m going to be making this scene as emotional as possible). For the rest of the production, Regan no longer really has a partner in any of her acts—she had a few with Goneril at the beginning, but as their relationship falls apart so does their ability to perform together, Cornwall is dead, and anything she tries with Edmund will be undercut by Goneril getting involved as well. Visual symbolism!!
That’s the end, though—what about the beginning? Well, there’s the obvious “couple who yeets each other across the arena together stays together”, but also just general scene blocking; these two are always flanking each other’s sides, if one moves in a certain way the other will copy it, etc. Though I’ll be limited in the number of spoken lines I can include, since too much voiceover starts to sound clunky and fitting the actors with microphones is not an option, I’ll make an effort to include at least a few of the important ones (“my Regan counsels well”, “till noon? Till night, my lord, and all night too”) and of course direct the actors about the relationship these two have so that they can make their own decisions about the little things.
I don’t know where I’m going with this, really; it’s all still a fairly distant dream. I’ve got some people on board so far, but not nearly enough, and don’t even get me started on the complexities of finding a space to perform in or equipment to do it with, but things are slowly coming together and maybe some day Circus Lear will be a reality. For now, though, I just have four copies of this play on my desk to look at and I’ll have to content myself with those.
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taste-in-music · 4 years
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taste-in-music’s Year End Wrap-Up
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Hello everybody! We’ve finally reached the end of 2020. While I’m glad to leave this miserable year behind, one of things that undeniably got me through it was the vast amount of awesome music we got. In past years I’ve made favorite album and EP lists, but this time around I’m going to tackle them all in one go, giving reviews on the projects that had some significances to me over the course of the year. I’m going to make a post for my favorite songs too, so keep an eye out for that in coming days. Now, without further ado, let’s get started, shall we?
folklore by Taylor Swift: This was an incredible year of growth for Taylor Swift. As much as I’ve enjoyed her past music, the way she constantly felt the need to address what people thought of her always irked me, (though after watching her documentary, I do understand why she did it.) It wasn’t Taylor Swift the public persona that was most interesting, I thought. It was Taylor Swift the artist, the songwriter, the storyteller. What I wanted was an album focused on that. This year, I got one, (well... more on that later,) and it’s my favorite project she’s ever done. The tales Swift spins on folklore span across love triangles, heiresses, and battlefields, and she nails each and every one. While the chilly indie-folk influence from the likes of Aaron Dessner and Justin Vernon is prominent, Swift’s warmth and charisma always cuts through the fog like a beam of sunlight. So yeah, this is my undeniable album of the year.
Fetch The Bolt Cutters by Fiona Apple: I only started listening to Fiona Apple last year and had thoroughly enjoyed her music, but this album cemented her as one of my favorite songwriters and performers of all time. Everything about Fetch The Bolt Cutters is so idiosyncratic yet fits together in just the right way, like watching an entire house being dropped from the sky and falling perfectly into place. It is a testament to the creative process, emotional honesty, and breaking free from all the cages you may find yourself in, whether they be societal, personal, or those of your own making. And in a year that was so isolating, it felt like Apple was whispering everything I needed to hear right into my ear, just when I needed it. In short, my boltcutters have been motherfucking fetched. 
Punisher by Phoebe Bridgers: When Punisher was announced, I had no clue how Phoebe Bridgers would match the quality of Stranger In The Alps. Upon first listen, I wasn’t sure she had. By the fifteenth time I was listening to this album and every lyric was hitting like Cupid’s arrow to the jugular, I knew she’d surpassed it. Punisher presents a sonic scope that both comforts and crushes all at once, like with the upbeat yet mournful horns on “Kyoto” or the cathartic swell on standout “I Know The End.” In my opinion, Bridgers is one of the greatest songwriters of our generation in the making, and I can’t wait to see what the future brings for her. She may know the end, but she’s far from it. 
SAWAYAMA by Rina Sawayama: This is the album I see becoming a new shorthand for the true potential of pop excellence, a cult hit that never got its time to shine but is beloved by pop music geeks to the ends of the earth, like EMOTION by Carly Rae Jepsen. SAWAYAMA so effortlessly blends diverse genres and influences like disco, nu metal, and arena rock, and it yet it remains cohesive due to Rina Sawayama’s sheer strength as a performer. She deserves a spot on the pop girlie hierarchy, and one near the top. 
Future Nostalgia by Dua Lipa: I really enjoyed Dua Lipa’s debut album, but even I didn’t expect her to come through with such a fully realized, consistent, downright fantastic follow up. Future Nostalgia is a pop album that feels studied, like Lipa did her research of pop’s past as she made it. The result is an album that synthesizes several different sounds under her vision, one that is always trained ahead, and it simply slaps. In a perfect world, nearly every song on this album got spun off into a hit single. 
evermore by Taylor Swift: 2020 was already my year of listening to Taylor Swift, (I went through her whole discography, cultivated a favorites playlist, and at the end of the year I was in the top 2% of her yearly Spotify listeners.) evermore was a lovely cherry to top it all off. While folklore enchanted me with its stories, evermore captivated me with its melodies. I haven’t been able to get snippets of this album out. of. my. head. for weeks now. It’s a bit less consistent than it’s older sister, (and likely to live in its shadow,) but there is still so much to love. 
I’m Allergic to Dogs! by Remi Wolf: This EP is so much goddamn fun. It’s a blend of many different sounds, indie pop, electronic, maybe hip hop, I think reggae at points? It’s such a colorful, textured, quirky listen bristling with energy and undeniable hooks. “Woo!” conquered my Summer, and months later the bridge of “Photo ID” conquered TikTok. Keep your eye out for Remi Wolf in the coming year, she’s going to make a big splash. 
Good At Being Young by Charli Adams: Good At Being Young was the first EP this year that I could not get enough of. It drifts through dreamy indie-pop sounds, with melancholic guitars and cloudy synths, and Adams has a deep vocal timbre that delivers tales of adolescent tribulations with just the right amount of wistfulness. Overall, it builds the perfect soundscape for a late-night drive.
Cape God by Allie X: Allie X has been keeping us FED with content. It seems like only yesterday that Super Sunset came out, and yet her output remains impressively consistent. This album has impressive highs, some lower moments, but the danceability, duets, and enticing darkness under its shiny pop veneer make it a record you won’t want to skip. 
La vita nuova by Christine and The Queens: Perhaps the biggest flex of 2020 was Christine and The Queens dropping a fantastic EP and accompanying short film right out of the gate. The grooves on this are infectious, wiry, and air-tight, (the Caroline Polachek feature was another added bonus,) but that doesn’t mean there isn’t plenty of emotional weight too. 
Lighter by Donna Missal: This was one of my most anticipated albums of the year, and it’s hard to determine whether it disappointed or not. I think the only thing holding Lighter back is that This Time was such a formative album for me, (my favorite of 2018, to the uninitiated.) In fact, this album flows way better than This Time, more cohesive with its storytelling and more consistent in folk-rock sound. And, of course, Donna Missal’s vocals stun on both the bangers and the ballads. 
SURF by BLACKSTARKIDS: There was no record this year that was more instantly likeable than this one. The blend of low-fi indie pop and hip hop makes for a whirlwind of sunny fun and youthful malaise that would make the perfect soundtrack for a road trip to the beach. Standouts include the opening track “SOUNDS LIKE FUN,” the chill “WIGS,” and blissful title track “MUSIC TO SURF TO.”
The Baby by Samia: I’ve had my eye on Samia since “Milk” dropped years ago. Seeing her live sparked my belief that she was an indie darling in the making, and The Baby confirmed that she definitely was. The lyrics on this album mix quiet contemplation with just enough sardonic wit and raw emotion throughout a varied selection of sunny rock bops and gut wrenching ballads. If you enjoyed Punisher, then I can’t recommend this enough.
Season 2 by Nasty Cherry: Nasty Cherry is a group that I will not stop rooting for. Their EP from last year showed their potential for nailing monster hooks, but this sophomore effort shows just how versatile they can be. This EP covers everything from Dylan Brady produced hyperpop to early-2000s reminiscent pop rock to emotional balladry, and they pull it all off flawlessly. 
A Little Rhythm and a Wicked Feeling by Magdalena Bay: This album became a fast favorite way late in the year, there is such a sweetness to Magdalena Bay’s music that makes it stick in your brain like a piece of blue raspberry bubblegum. This EP is spacey, catchy, and filled with electronic synthpop mastery, with countless catchy hooks that’ll make you feel like drifting and dancing all at once.
Miss Anthropocene by Grimes: The bubblegum bombast of Art Angels fully redefined my taste in pop years ago, so I was fascinated to see how Grimes would follow it up. On Miss Anthropocene, she leans into darker, more industrial textures, but also anchors it back to Earth with acoustic touches and some of her most introspective lyrics to date. Grimes painted a version of a world on the brink of disaster on this album, a picture that was hypnotically beautiful. And in a year where the word was a certified disaster, that was strangely comforting.
Plastic Hearts by Miley Cyrus: I’ve been wanting Miley to go rock for so goddamn long, Plastic Hearts was bound to make this list by pure validation alone. But what can I say? This breed of glossy 80s rock suits Cyrus’s rougher voice so well! I hope she stays in this lane a bit longer, but as we know, she’s one of pop’s most chameleonic figures. Only time will tell. 
Where Does The Devil Hide by Zella Day: I have been patiently awaiting new Zella Day music ever since getting hooked on Kicker back in 2017, so this was one of my most anticipated releases of the year. This EP sounds nothing like Kicker, and I couldn’t be happier. It shows Day leaning even more into her influences from the past, (the 60s/70s vibes are intense with this one,) but also breathing a refreshing new life into them. 
SOUL LADY by Yukika: When I imagine the ideal of pop music, what it would sound like in a perfect world, this is what it sounds like. SOUL LADY is full of pristine, glossy production and catchy hooks that feel like they’ve come down from the clouds. I’ll admit that I can have trouble forming a connection with music when I don’t understand the lyrics, (it’s something I’m working on,) but this album cleared that hurdle with ease. If you’re curious about city pop or K-pop this is a great place to start. 
Heaven Is Without You by Love You Later: Give me lush pop production and heartbroken lyrics finished off with a heaping helping of nostalgia and I’ll eat it up with a spoon. Love You Later has been feeding my addiction to this genre for years, and this latest helping is particularly sweet. 
IN A DREAM by Troye Sivan: Troye Sivan has always supplied the bops, but it was about time that he started experimenting with his sound a little bit more. This EP offers some harder-hitting electronic textures, but also the addictive hooks that’ll keep you coming back for more.
Ungodly Hour by Chloe X Halle: These women are so TALENTED! If there is any word I’d use to describe this album it would be “effortless,” the harmonies, grooves, and chemistry between Chloe and Halle feels so natural and free-flowing. Charisma just rolls off of them in droves, I see full-blown stardom and several Grammys in their future.
Watching You by Robinson: This EP was one of the first on this list to arrive this year, and it still hits months later. Robinson’s confessional lyrics work wonders over the buoyant pop grooves, and “Don’t Say” remains one of the best pop songs of recent years. 
Manic by Halsey: I respect Halsey for dipping her toes into a myriad of different genres, (synth pop, rock, hip hop, and acoustic balladry,) but it does make for a jumbled listening experience. Still, I appreciate that this album features some of Halsey’s strongest tracks and writing to date, offering greater experimentation and emotional imtimacy than album’s past. 
We Don’t Stop by Aly & AJ: Should this count? It’s more a compilation of their past EP and singles... I don’t care, I’m counting it because there’s some new stuff too. This is an excellent display of Aly & AJ’s pop prowess in recent years, the hooks, vocal chemistry, and shimmery production are undeniable. 
Under My Influence by The Aces: The Aces returned in 2020 with a more laid-back, groovier record than their debut, exploring a wider variety of sounds. They’re as magnetic and likeable a group as ever, each member giving it their all, but I think I’ll return to the debut more often. 
Strangers/Lovers by Dagny: I’ve been anticipating a longer Dagny project, as she’s been drip-feeding us singles for a while now. This was a lot of fun, with Dagny pairing her upbeat earnestness with stories of romantic tribulation. While the hooks aren’t as memorable as her past offerings, there is still so much to enjoy. Lead single “Come Over” and “Let Me Cry” are my favorites.
DUALITY by Tatiana Hazel: I came across this via recommendation on Tik Tok and it’s a solid pop record! The music is swooning, synthy, and tinged with disco and Latin influence. The record doesn’t waste a second of its runtime, clocking in at less than half an hour and grooving the whole time.
After Hours by The Weeknd: The sonic palette of After Hours is so engaging, a neon-drenched blend of synthwave, electropop, and R&B. I’ve always felt lukewarm on The Weeknd’s musical persona of brooding, villainous party monster, so the strongest moments on this album tend to be when he subverts that in some way. Still, in full, this album is an undeniable force of smash hits, stadium-shaking ballads, and cinematic flair. I can’t wait for his Super Bowl performance. 
Petrol Bloom by LAUREL: It’s no secret that this year was chock-full of 80s revival albums (there’s what, five others on this list?) LAUREL wasn’t an artist I was expecting to go in that direction after the brooding folk pop of her debut album, but her deeper timbre works great alongside the synthy soundscapes. 
positions by Ariana Grande: I’ve just come to expect that nearly all of Ariana Grande’s albums are going to be growers to me. My first listen to positions was underwhelming, but the songs have grown on me more and more. This album feels like being let in on a giggly, fun slumber party with Grande and her friends. I wouldn’t call this her strongest album by far, and while I tend to prefer when she favors the more powerful parts of her range, (and her enunciations could still use some work,) there is a lot of good material here. 
THE ALBUM by BLACKPINK: We may just have to stan. I checked this out after watching their Netflix documentary, and while this breed of cacophonous, in-your-face electropop isn’t something I can listen to all the time, the hooks and charisma are undeniable. It certainly makes me feel like a bad bitch whenever I’m working out. 
Kid Krow by Conan Gray: Conan Gray burst onto my radar offering dreamy tracks rich with teen malaise and suburban restlessness, and a good amount of that initial appeal carries over onto this album. Kid Krow has both a larger instrumental scope and more stripped-back moments. In the end, it still feels like Gray is finding his voice as an artist, but he's giving up great bops to jam out to as he does.
Petals For Armor by Hayley Williams: Hayley Williams is one of my favorite vocalists, so seeing her venture out for a solo project was exciting. This album offers a mixed bag of danceable jams, emotive moments that showcase Williams’s powerful voice, and a few skips. But overall it showcases Williams’s strength as a performer as she tackles her past with vulnerability and versatility.
Apart by LÉON: Oh, man. This one was kind of disappointing. For context, LÉON’s self-titled debut was my favorite album of last year. This follow-up is by no means bad, but every song on her first album was instantly memorable. This one, not so much. LÉON’s vocals are beautiful, and there are some stand-out tracks, but I don’t see myself returning to this nearly as much. 
Blush by Maya Hawke: Maya Hawke’s Blush was to my 2020 what Tōth’s Practice Magic and Seek Professional Help When Necessary was to my 2019, (and that makes sense, as they’ve collaborated in the past.) This album is so blissful and nonchalant, and Maya Hawke has a gentle, soothing voice that feels wise beyond her years. While the writing isn’t as hard-hitting as, say, the Phoebe Bridgers album, sometimes I just want to listen to something that could rock me off into a dream world. If you like folksy, down-to-earth ballads, you’ve got a solid collection of them right here. 
Dedicated Side B by Carly Rae Jepsen: Of course Queen Carly would pull through with B-sides for Dedicated, did we expect anything less? Jepsen’s brand of controlled yet carefree shimmery poptimism drenched in 80s nostalgia that never fails to put me in a good mood. This album has some lusher, more tropical instrumentation than Dedicated proper, but works great alongside it.
Missing Person by Kelsy Karter: To the Plastic Hearts fans out there, your homework now is to give this record a listen. This rock album presents pop hooks, but a lot of reckless rock fun too. Kelsy Karter has so much irresistible swagger and carefree spirit as a performer, speeding through the emotional highs and lows like she’s burning rubber in a cherry red Cadillac. 
how i’m feeling now by Charli XCX: I’ll admit, this album was a bit abrasive to me on first listen. But tracks like “anthems” and “forever” made me return, and it’s a huge grower. If you listen closely, you’ll find the sugary-sweet hooks and relatable sentiments nestled deep in the crunchy hyperpop textures, begging to be discovered and eventually loved. 
Jaguar by Victoria Monét: If you enjoyed positions, then check out the debut from one of that album’s most prominent co-writers. Jaguar’s concise collection of silky R&B slow-burners show that Victoria Monet’s is a superstar in her own right. 
Some great albums I listened to that didn’t come out this year: Blue by Joni Mitchell, BLACKPINK IN YOUR AREA by BLACKPINK, I Need to Start a Garden by Haley Heynderickx, Plastic Beach by Gorillaz, Out in the Storm by Waxahatchee, 7 by Beach House, Dummy by Portishead, Lovers Fevers by Babygirl, and Red by Taylor Swift. 
Whether you liked, reblogged, or commented on a post, sent me an ask, or interacted with this blog in any way, thank you so much for all the support throughout the year! I can’t express how much I appreciate it. 
What were your favorite albums from this year? Did I miss anything? Send me an ask and let me know. I’ll tell you my thoughts, or put it on my to-listen-to list if I haven’t heard it. 
Here’s to 2021! May it clear the extremely low bar set by this year. 
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fyexo · 4 years
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200529 K-Pop Superstar Baekhyun On His Sweet Solo Single "Candy" & Delightful Second Mini Album
A soft humming is heard on the other side of the line while the call stabilizes — of course one of South Korea’s most prominent vocalists would be singing. Baekhyun, who debuted in 2012 as a member of the chart-topping boy group EXO, has just released his second solo album, Delight, and his excitement is palpable through the phone.
Just minutes before this call, he was interacting with fans on a live stream through the app VLive. There, he answered a series of questions while waiting for the album to drop at 6 pm on May 25 (KST). Nicknamed “Genius Idol” for his array of talents, Baekhyun has tried a little bit of everything throughout his career: acting, fashion design (he’s the co-creative director of the brand Privé by BBH), gaming, vlogging, duets, the EXO subunit EXO-CBX, and leading the supergroup SuperM — who was the first Korean act to top the Billboard 200 albums chart with a debut release.
His solo career officially started last year with the release of City Lights. The album sold more than half a million copies and became the best-selling physical album of 2019 by a solo artist in Korea. Delight follows the same footsteps: it amassed 732,297 stock pre-orders, sold over six hundred thousand copies on the first day according to Hanteo (a company that shares real-time sales data in South Korea), and topped the iTunes Album Charts in 68 countries so far.  
Sonically, Delight is a breezy, RnB-infused experience that showcases Baekhyun’s prismatic artistry. “I worked really hard on this album, and I was really happy working on it as well,” he tells the Recording Academy. Like “Candy”, the title track, each song has a different flavor. Deep cut “R U Ridin’” has a honey-dripping bassline, for example, while the bright “Poppin’” feels like chewing on sour candies, and the intense “Ghost” lingers with a coffee caramel aftertaste.
To deepen the discussion around his new album, The Recording Academy caught up with Baekhyun and talked about his inspirations, the development of his multifaceted persona, and, of course, his favorite candy.
This interview was edited for clarity, and an interpreter translated all answers from Baekhyun.
How are you feeling lately?
I’ve been really happy. There’s been a lot of excitement and expectation personally around the Delight release, so I’ve been relishing in all of that these days.
What were your inspirations for this album?
I wanted to try the RnB genre more, so that’s what I focused on for this album. In terms of the title itself, within EXO my superpower is “light,” so I wanted to emphasize that as much as possible.
[Writer’s note: EXO debuted under a concept where each member has a superpower, and that appears throughout their branding.]
Just the way the word “delight” sounds is pleasurable. What are some of life's delights to you?
Right now, the top ones would be being on stage and performing. Another thing is that I’ve been taking vocal lessons on the side, and that has been a source of delight to me as well.
What's your favorite song in this album? Are there any lyrics you would like people to pay attention to?
I have to pick the title track, “Candy.” If you listen to the lyrics, there is a part where I list candy flavors and ask “what more do you want?” I think it truly expresses confidence and boldness, that I can become whatever you like, just tell me and I’ll do it. That’s the part I want everyone to pay special attention to.
This ability to become whatever is needed at the moment also shows up in the contrasting sweet and sensuous styles you explore in the album. Can you talk more about that?
As you mentioned, that’s exactly what I was trying to do with the concept of “Candy” and of Delight in general. I wanted to showcase a variety of different sides that I have to myself. In the past, fans would always say that they like both my sweet side and the more sensual, performative side, so I wanted to capture both and present them in a bigger package.
Comparing Delight to your first solo album, City Lights, what are the main differences between them?
With City Lights, because it was my first solo album, I wanted to focus more on the vocals and showcase what I felt like I could present the best. If you listen to it, it’s definitely more vocal-focused. In Delight, I wanted to take a step further and show a different side to fans. I wanted to incorporate more performance, which means a lot of choreography and thinking about the visuals on stage. I also tried to make this album a little brighter and fresher than City Lights, so visually and performance-wise it’s different.
When I think of Baekhyun, the word that comes to mind is "balance". You have an impressive talent to blend light and dark, highs and lows, laughter and tears in your performances. Are you aware of this fluency in yourself?
Since I was younger, I always heard that I’m pretty honest with my emotions. People see the bright and happy sides of me, but they see the other sides as well. Because my personality is one that is honest about how I feel, I want to showcase my true self to people. I think that’s why people say that about me as well, of showing the balance between many sides of things. That’s what I want to do because it’s who I am, and also what I want to showcase as an artist.
You have been an idol for almost a decade. What has been your biggest lesson so far?
Going back to my previous answer, I realized that if you’re honest with yourself and you’re truthful in the way you act, talk, and interact with everyone, then people will know. People will know that you’re being genuine, and over the years I learned to be honest with how I feel when I connect with my fans. As time passes, I think they have been able to recognize that and connect with me on a more genuine level too. That’s the biggest thing I learned.
And what is the achievement you're most proud of?
My debut with EXO. Even though my training period was short when compared to other members, just to be able to work together, come together as a group, and debut together, it’s definitely my proudest achievement to date. And that���s what launched me to be where I am right now.
You were always known for your powerful singing, but during all these years you have developed yourself and are currently recognized as a multi-talented artist and skillful dancer as well. Can you tell us more about that process?
My vocals have always been my main strength, so it’s something I continuously work on and want to improve on. In terms of dancing, I have a friend named Kasper who is a dancer/choreographer, and he teaches me all the trendy dances, gives me advice on how I should do this or that, so that’s a practical way that I have improved my skills. In general, because I have a lot of energy, I felt like just my vocals weren’t enough for the amount of energy that I can showcase, so I always wanted to channel that through dancing, which is a different outlet.
Did Kasper create the choreography for “Candy”? And did you have any input on it?
Yes. Because we’re friends, when he would show me the choreography, I would say “what about we do it this way?” and then we bounced ideas off each other, especially when it came to the formations of the dance overall.
In the current world situation, it's hard to expect things or make plans for this year, but what is one thing you are looking forward to in 2020?
It’s hard to make plans for the rest of the year, but I’m hoping that things get better so I can finally meet my fans in person. That’s the one thing I’m looking forward to the most. Because of the current situation, we had to shift things to digital, but I’m also excited to meet my fans via different platforms as well.
Have the members of EXO listened to your album? What was their reaction?
When they listened, they said that it matches the seasons right now, as we’re going into summer. All of them commented on how it was a new style for me as a solo artist, like showing another side of Baekhyun, another vibe. They also noticed that I put a lot of effort into it, they’re really supportive.
If you could describe yourself as a candy flavor, what would that be?
Strawberry. Because its flavor encapsulates both sweet and sour, and that’s precisely what I want to do — show different sides. With this concept in Delight, you can see a more relaxed, confident side, but you can also see a very sweet and doting side of my character.
To sum it all up, what is your favorite candy flavor?
Green grape! In Korea they sell bags of green grape hard candy, those are my favorites.
Source: Tássia Assis @ GRAMMYs
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missaureus · 3 years
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EXplOration in Manila Pt. 2
 My roommates finally arrived past 1AM. I was super drained but I still managed to put on my bear nail stickers while waiting for them. The moment I opened the door we were already squealing because we haven’t seen each other since my Davao vacation on January that year. We chatted randomly and eventually dozed off. We only had a few hours to be physically prepared for a hectic day ahead.
The concert proper was still at night but we scheduled to go to the mall area at 10AM to distribute freebies under Team Jongin PH. I was wearing heels and my feet were already crying. Obviously, I am not used to it and it was a poor decision. Cafes and restaurants near the arena were banning meet-ups and large groups who were giving stuff to concertgoers because it would obstruct other costumers. What would they expect in a day like this? We respect establishments and would not go out empty-stomached. But I cannot blame them. With that, we ended up being stationed in a wing way distal to the arena. 
Many familiar faces were spurting inside the café. I got to introduce to them using twitter usernames. It was hilarious. I even messed up with my other internet friends who I failed to recognize right off the bat! I felt so apologetic. Probably out of exhaustion, my sugar was depleting! 
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Around 2PM, I had pasta and coffee as my lunch. I cannot indulge my palate that I had to share my small dish to a friend. My fight-or-flight hormone was doing its job generously that afternoon. I could not recall how much yards we had to stroll for unknown reason in and out the mall. 
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After giving away those packed stuff, we took some pictures in front of the arena in groups. After that, we went back to the condo to freshen up and get ready to line up. With my sequence number, around 400, I was near the end of the line. Surprisingly, almost everyone in my area was from the province, particularly Bisaya. We finally realized how the provincial assistance failed us that year. Probably the worse experience I had due to the hectic announcements for the Manila leg. At that moment, a hint of regret was circling my thoughts. Was it a right decision that I did not bite that one under the table offer? I could have experienced a barricade line. I just ignored that bleak light of what-if.
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Inside the arena, around 5PM, I was probably 5 or 6 lines away from the stage. It was way farther than my ElyXiOn stop but still a good and close view. There were still foreigners in our area. There was no sign of the event to start so I finally decided to listen to my feet’s plea --- to sit on the floor. The VIP area was more compressed than the first day. Thus, I had to stand in no time to reserve my spot. 
Around 6PM, the show commenced. The intensity of Filipino EXO-Ls’ heated cheer in response to the house rules was much more ear-splitting than yesterday’s. The setlist was not even rolling but one or two from our area were already dragged out, mostly foreigners. I swear, the level of security was not a joke this time! 
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With the same pattern of Moonlight being played, it was a hint for everyone to mentally prepare. The 1st VCR played on the big led screens. The ghastly intro was beating in a rising intensity until the EXOs finally set foot on stage. By the time Tempo played, not only the lightsticks but also the phones were raised up high to shot fancams. I was so stressed I forgot how the moshpit game should be played. I had to brace myself for over 2 hours! People in the pit were starting to make waves out of pushing and eventually I had to stop my fancam during Transformer because the bouncers were barring my view when they were trying to catch another bull-headed fan pinpointed by Filipino fans. 
Due to the endless commotion, I was ushered to the side barricade and had the opportunity to step on the platform for a much elevated view. I was so afraid of stampede I did not dare to move an inch from my position. I anchored myself to the barricade. From there, I had a better view for Gravity which is a personal favorite. A choreography does wonder to a song!
Baekhyun came out with the backup dancers for UN Village after the 2nd VCR was shown. Undeniably, he appeared to be exhausted which was obvious when he let the fans sing most of the song at the end. The fans did not fail to par the energy of the song with its fanchant..
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This was followed by the 3rd VCR then the powerful trio: 24/7, which played a huge part in my decision making of which ticket to buy. I was after Jongin’s position for this song. Unlike, ElyXiOn that each member had a fix spot every time they go scatter around, EXplOration was way opposite and random. All te members were so mobile throughout. Next, the general public’s favorite, Love Shot attacked. Followed by Oh La La La. 
The deafening shout from the crowd was breathed out when EXO started talking for the 1st ment. They individually introduced themselves with matching hello Philippines and mabuhay greetings. Finally, Monster! This was a stage missed out last ElyXiOn. I was happy to finally witness it live. The members then scattered on the main stage for Oasis. The led screen was an art it was dancing gracefully with them. Breathtaking!
A solo stage by the leader, Junmyeon, followed. Funnily, they were now confident to rip off in an oversea show excluding Japan and China. With that, the crowd was expecting so much from Been Through. The moment Junmyeon exposed his chiseled abdominal muscles, the crowd went crazier that the shouts reached the roof the arena. 
Finally, a ballad song! Jongdae entered the center stage and the light bulbs were simultaneously falling like stars. He sang Lights Out too perfectly and I commend the crowd for understating the sole assignment during this stage --- to stay silent to appreciate his vocals. The lights were already reflecting towards my tears pooling in my eyes. 
The SeChan duo then took over the stage after the 4th VCR. They entered the scene with their bigass luggage as props. They were playing with What a Life and Closer to You. After that, the rest of the members joined with Falling for You.
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A brown couch was dragged to the center stage for Wait stage. This ballad number was so heartwarming when the crowd sang along with the EXOs as if it was a duet. They appeared relaxed. Literally, feeling at home vibe in the living room.
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The 2nd ment started. SeChan playfully pointed their microphones to the fan to let then sing some parts of What a Life. As expected from Phixos, we are remarkable to the group as the loudest crowd among all hosts. The rule will always be, we do not do fanchant, we sing the whole song haha! The leader then teased Baekhyun with his sexy choreo in UN Village. Baekhyun did it  which made Chayeol crazy for it! Randomly, Jongin danced the sexy choreo of Been Through followed by Junmyeon. Out of nowhere, the crowd cheered loudly for Jongdae’s name suggesting for him to be next in line to do the steps. He was generous enough to do both choreos while singing Lights Out lol I swear they were so chaotic! After that, Sehun did it too! Chanyeol was not getting any free pass and the crowd cheered for his name next. He was crazy that I did not already care for his self-image at that moment. He did his own version of rolling hills and the crowd had gone mad for it! He eventually went near each member to grind at them lmfao! Guess what! Except for Baekhyun!!! Jongin had a secondhand embarrassment for this guy and even threatened to punch him. To end the chaos, the leader finally introduced Power as the next song. It was so fun there were also fireworks-like effects during the break dance part which was serve by the leader, supposedly it was Kai’s part but the members cheered for Junmyeon to do it this time. 
At this point, I was a battery at 2% already. I almost forgot what was next in line. A Kai solo! Jongin entered the main stage with the back up dancers, he was wearing a vest with nothing underneath it and a cap! To be honest, I loved his get-up on the first day more but the experience of him much closer to me is the best! I did the fanchant, I tried religiously but his performance was jaw-dropping that I kept on losing my focus, I went silent while covering my mouth! Surprisingly, he opened the only clothing coving his upper torso that finally exposed his amazing physique! By that time, I already got unleashed, I am still sorry for that crispy FUCK on my fancam hahhahahaha! 
Bad dream and Damage were performed on the main sage. I actually was not able to give my full attention to it because my phone notified I was out of storage. Out of impulsivity, I deleted all of my applications thinking that it would save me until encore stage. After that, EXO danced to the legendary title tacks in a form of a medley, Growl, Overdose and Call Me Baby. 
The 6th VCR was a hint that it was about to end and I went emotional. The boys playfully performed Unfair and On the Snow. The latter song is nostalgic. It is vivid how Jongin was enjoying this stage, wearing a black shirt and pants with his cap placed backwards.  SeChan were so cute during You give me yours, I'll give you mine part when Chanyeol gave the maknae a bouquet of flowers. The fans started throwing lots of stuff on stage, the floor got crowded. 
During the last ment, I befriended the person in front of me who is a Chanyeol-biased. We shouted in chorus Jongin’s name while raising a gom banner but unfortunately he did not respond. We just kept on laughing! We tried it to Chanyeol while waving a banner of him and he waved backed to our area enthusiastically using the doll he picked on the floor. While the others were busily doing their individual messages, ChanKaiHo were so bust playing with the coiled spring, I swear they were kids! 
During Jongdae’s part, the audience started chanting Walang uuwi! We also did this last ElyXiOn and finally this time it was already translated back to the boys! They kept on saying that they enjoyed the night so much with the fans and shamelessly said it was way better that yesterday hahaha! I had to agree. They said that they would love to come back to the Philippines for a concert and a vacation. During Sehun’s part, he secretly asked the translator how to say “Walang uuwi!” and Sehun said it back to the crowd cutely. Finally, after a year!!!
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The leader finally introduced the encore song, Smile on my Face. The confetti were starting to rain and feel our faces. The harmonization was heavenly that I almost cried. To be honest, I was sad but happy at the same time. The boys then arranged themselves on the moving platform. Until the last time, Sehun kept on saying Walang Uuwi!. They faded before my eyes, it was surreal! Thank God for letting me see them twice in a row! 
I looked for my friends in the pit and cried in unison! We took pictures outside the arena with some of our friends and decided to look for a place to eat. It was actually raining cats and dogs as if heavens knew how heavy my heart was that it was finally over. 
We went back to the condo with my packed order hahahaha I do not know what was into me that I did not touch my food. I just quenched my thirst bottoms up with a soda full of ice! I was so silent after that hahahaha. 
We slept around 2AM after consuming our fancams. The next day, we had breakfast in Naynay’s condo. Hnnng I miss her food! After that, we parted ways with my condomates and met some of my friends also before heading to the airport.
It was raining. The weather turned my departure more melancholic that it should be. But when I reached the arrival area, I was so touched my whole family came to fetch me. Thank you for supporting me and my happiness. Thank you for allowing me to have this memory when I grow old. 
This is my youth.
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