#i did all this bc i had a vague idea for a fic that im never gonna write but once i got in the research groove i didnt want to stop lmao

[fizzy-dizzie]

For anyone who wants Steve's canon accurate ages throughout the infinity saga I got some important dates written out here.

'¢' in this context will symbolise he is yet to have his birthday for that year. (Ex. Steve was 93 in avengers, later that same year he turns 94)

Both his biological age and his literal age have been put on the timeline here. Biological being his age, excluding his years that was lived in the ice.

Born 1918.

1918 - bio 18 - Steve's mother dies

1943 - bio 25 - Takes the serum

1945 - ¢ bio 26 - Steve goes into ice

2011 - ¢ bio 26 - 92 - Wakes up modern era

2012 - ¢ bio 27 - 93 - Avengers

2014 - ¢ bio 29 - 95 - CATWS

2016 - ¢ bio 31 - 97 - CAWS

2018 - ¢ bio 33 - 99 - Avengers Infinity War

2023 - bio 39 - 105 - Avengers Endgame

Now Steve goes back in time to be with Peggy in 1949. Just adding 74 years onto his age would leave me with bio 113 but in the actual canon he's supposedly bio 112 so I just assume that with some weird time travel magic he lost a birthday in the mix of it all.

2023 - bio 112 - 173 - Old ass steve

I just did this for fun in my free time but I hope this helps someone if they need it 👍

[altruistic-meme]

me: *existing*

my brain: hey heres another fic idea!!! and another!!!! oh wouldn't it be so cool if you wrote this??? wouldn't you LOVE to plan this fic out??? you should definitely plan this one, i promise you don't even have to write it ;) [<- is lying, knows that i'll want to write it even more if i plan it]

[frogserotonin]

overthinker- lars pinfield x reader

a/n: short one bc im still in a slump rn many sorries. also sorry lawl this fic is so disconjointed and i’m really unhappy with it but whatever 😭 warnings: nothin proper i don’t think, most ooc lars to ever ooc, unedited; tell me if i've spelt smth wrong 😁

“Would you want to go out to get some lunch together on our break?” Your fingertips bounce off of the sides of your legs as you try to remain composed. You're so high-strung right now, you almost expect him to laugh in your face. Nerves and the effects of having slept a fitful two hours last night override your usually rational brain and you feel the need to just run away without receiving an answer bloom in your chest.

“I thought you usually brought lunch? If you forgot to bring some you can have some of mine, if you want.” Lars doesn’t even look up from what he’s working on, just adjusts his glasses and uses a vague jut of his elbow to point to his locker, where you know his bag is. Your heart simultaneously drops and stutters. 

“Oh, it’s okay, I just felt like going out to eat, thank you though.” You try to make your words seem more upbeat than you feel, unsure of whether or not to take his words as a rejection.

“Oh. Okay then.” It must be your imagination, but his words hold a hint of disappointment. You open your mouth again, then close it, and silence re-envelopes the room. Turning, you make your way to your desk and begin to work away, dejection slumping your shoulders forward and making time drag on. When eventually the lunch break arrives, you grab your bag and rush your way out of the lab.

A squeak of shoes on the concrete floor behind you almost has you looking back, but your brain is so addled you almost believe you’ve made it up.

Like a fool, you don't talk to him when you come back, or when you leave, the time you spend alone and in silence building up an anxiety in the back of your mind. The idea that he's all too aware of your feelings, and is made uncomfortable by them and your advances overtakes you completely. That night, you stay awake, tossing and turning, over analysing every interaction you've ever had with him, trying to make sure you've not overstepped and made a complete and utter fool of yourself.

In the morning, you consider it a miracle you leave the house at all, with how tired you are. The thought of calling in sick crosses your mind, but by the time you get up your body automatically locks itself into its usual routine, and you mindlessly get dressed and make your way to the Ghostbusters facilities. Through your drowsiness, the realisation that you’re at your desk and doing absolutely nothing sets in and you jolt. 

“Good morning.” If he didn’t sound so concerned, Lars would sound thoroughly amused. “You alright? Look a bit…off.” Your face flares, and you go to stand up, only to stumble and almost fall on your face. Hands out, you stabilise yourself, and then face him.

“Yeah. Morning.” You can only hope that he backs off, because his concern seems too genuine for your feelings to not expand exponentially the more he stands before you looking like he cares. “M’feeling just peachy, you?.” Belatedly, you realise your words are clearly not convincing because he doesn’t move an inch, simply studying you. He then sighs and shakes his head, chuckling a little bit, just softly under his breath, taking a couple steps closer to you. 

“When’s the last time you slept?” His voice is too gentle, too un-Lars-like, that you’re almost convinced you actually did fall asleep last night, and now you’re dreaming. You open your mouth to respond, but find yourself nodding off as you do so, the last thing you process before fully passing out is the feeling of arms around your chest and shoulders. 

When you come to, you sit up quickly, and slowly become aware of what had happened. Muttering cursing to yourself under your breath, you take in your surroundings, finding yourself slung over the small couch situated in the room reserved for taking time off from work briefly. Hurriedly, you rush out of the room towards where you assume Lars is working, apology already on the tip of your tongue. You approach him quickly and loudly, a fact that can be gathered from his head immediately snapping up when you enter the room. He starts to speak, no doubt to rattle off reasons why you were irresponsible and stupid for coming to work while being aware you weren’t at your fullest capacity, but you cut him off.

“God, I’m so sorry. That was humiliating, and I’m so, so sorry that it happened, it won’t happen again.” You bow your head, refusing to look him in the eye, but quickly look up again when you hear him laugh. 

“It’s fine, really, you just scared me a little bit.” His smile is small, but sincere and you remember fully the reason you were in the predicament in the first place. “Are you feeling better now?” 

You probably look a bit crazy with how vigorously you nod, but you barely care anymore. 

“Yes, thank you so much, really, I’m sorry that it happened.” He laughs again, and it sounds like heaven.

“You don’t need to thank me or apologise,” Lars’ eyes sparkle a bit behind his glasses when he properly smiles, and you can feel warmth rush to your face. He hesitates, like he’s calculating his words, then gently says “I-uh. I care for you a lot, it really meant nothing for me to make sure you were okay.”

[vivisols]

Sooooo... this new fic -tell me something about it (so much or so less you want to share) ;P

EHEHE GLADLY IM SO GLAD YA ASKED!!!! you dont understand how excited i am to talk about it lmao :DDDDDD

so my newest fic is.... a post apocalypse mer au!

ehehe!!! :3c i mentioned it in some of the author notes of claw at the stars and im soooo excited to actually finish chapter 1 of it!!! its only like. 30% done so far bc im playing video games non-stop on my writing break but im chugging along xD

the basic summary is that after a meteor strikes the earth (again), humanity has had to rapidly evolve to survive the harsh conditions of rising sea levels and much harsher temperatures. (id elaborate more on some science and biology stuff ive been brainstorming too but that's SPOILERS </3) more under the cut!

long story short, theres evolved people and creatures evolved from people on land and merfolk evolved from people in the sea! plus theres new languages thanks to evolving and changing vocal chords! (reallyyyy i just wanna get wacky with humanoid designs xD can you tell i like doing that yet???)

as for the fic, here's a quick summary of the very basic plot :3

a few decades after this meteor hits, the daycare attendant wakes up from an emergency shutdown in the ruins of the pizzaplex. with no telling of how many years its been, they have to pick up the pieces of where they left off and navigate this new world. with the help of y/n (dats YOU!!!), a mer who ended up on land, they slowly get their bearings and try to settle in to their new life, scrounging for parts to repair themselves in the overgrown remains of cities.

y/n has never even thought about going on land, but of course, the one time they do they have to drag around a robot that doesn't even understand what they're saying. sun and moon, meanwhile, latch onto you like a lost puppy as they try their best to learn the new language and figure out what you keep signaling to them.

(why were you on land? can't say! since, well, it would be spoilers...)

theres gonna be tons and tons of fluff and mystery and adventure and romance and LOREEEEE! all the tropes im obsessed with! and of course vanessa is here too because i love herrrr :3

anyways, i cant share toooo much besides the basic summary since i love being vague and mysterious hehehe but! im nearly done with the first chapter :3 it will likely be out sometime in january, IF not january 1st! im super motivated :3c

as a reward for listening to my way too long ramble, have this super quick concept sketch i did the other day!

again, really just a quick sketch but! you can kinda see what im going for maybe?? XD

i hope this was sufficient for now! feel free to ask for more if ya want! i LOVE talking about my ideas ;D

[jovenshires]

You’ve probably been asked this before but what’s like your fanfic writing process?? Like how do you end up writing your fanfictions?

i actually haven't but i'd be happy to talk about it!! i'm actually writing fic right now, so here's what i've done in the past like. hour. im gonna put it under the cut bc its EXTREMELY long but if you ever wanted 'katie's guide to fic writing,' here it is!

i'm pretty easily distracted, so i've gotta make sure i'm in like. The Right Conditions. that means phone face down or away if i can (rn i've got to be on call in case my boss needs smth but you get the gist) bc i WILL just open tiktok or play a mobile game. even just now writing this answer i have picked up my phone and opened pinterest. i cannot be stopped so i try to stay off it and put it down when i catch myself!!

more and more often i cant even listen to music while i write - partly bc i tend to read my work aloud to myself to make sure it sounds right and partly bc my brain will be like "you know this song omg the words are in your brain" or "you should go look at what song this is bc you kinda like it". cannot trust myself even with sound. if i AM listening to music while i write, it's either the specific playlist for that fic, playlists with the right vibes (ex: rivals-to-lovers for iwks), OR anime openings bc. less likely to get distracted when it's not in english tbh.

(huge on all of the senses so i also usually have a candle lit. im super sensitive to smells so if there's an unpleasant smell somewhere around me i will be unable to focus <3)

all that being said about distractions, i think it's important to take breaks - dont just FORCE yourself to write. that's why i'm huge on setting goals for myself - deadlines, word count goals, timed breaks. like "okay im gonna sprint write for 10 minutes and then after that ill watch some of this danny gonzalez video" or "i'll write until 3:30 and then i should go take a break and read a book." im not always faithful to my goals but i try my best!!

as for the actual writing itself, i typically just go for it. i can usually see an image in my mind and i try my best to write that out/describe it as best i can. and then if it sounds wrong i just reword it again and again until i've got it. this is kind of where my reading aloud bit comes in - if it sounds right when you say it out loud, that generally means it sounds right in the text.

sometimes i'll just have a certain scene or just scraps of dialogue and i'll write that out and be like "okay how did they get here." i never embraced writing out of order until recently, but now that i have. no going back tbh i highly recommend it. rwylm and iwks especially had scenes WAY later down the line that i wrote first. just write what comes naturally and go from there.

occasionally i do outlines, but not super often, and when i do they're vague as hell. i think a lot of my iwks outline was just "game" and then "another game but tommy is there this time." i think outlines that go too in-depth kind of take away from the freedom of writing so. if it's for you then slay but its usually not for me

i try not to worry too hard about. the style/grammar/little things as i go. of course im guilty of this and i'll stop and edit my own works along the way sometimes but i've found it's best if you keep writing and then go back later!!

sometimes when i'm writing a new smosh cast member i'll go back and watch videos/compilations of them just to reorient my brain. i've done this a lot with chanse recently!! but i also think. it really isn't that deep too NSDKFNKNK like these are fictionalized versions of fictionalized selves and so on and so forth so don't worry about 'voice' too much im trying to kick that habit myself

EDIT: oh i've talked about this before but. as for ideas/where my fic ideas come from?? i truly try to grab from my every day life. oh i went to the grocery store today? what if smosh member a and smosh member b went to the grocery store. i watched a horror movie and you know who else could do that. otherwise i pull from music/movies/tv shows/other media and be like 'this but for smosh.' i really just be pulling from my life and repackaging it thats all. start small (haircut fic) and work your way up (homoerotic soccer epic)!

and i think that's it?? i'd like to think im pretty chill about the whole thing. (read: i am not chill in any way at all but im trying my best.) anyway, it's something i'm always happy to talk about - thank you for asking!!

[fyorina]

hi carnia >^< !! i hope this isnt bothering u but i just wanted to ask u sumthing rq if u dont mind jnefvjnjdfn

how did u plot out waterloo ? its such a well written series (its literally my third fave fic of all time lol) and i was wondering how u plotted it out bc i'm plotting my own series (that i'll actually finish this time) BUT IM HAVING DIFFICULTIES n wanted to ask u how u did it be WATERLOO IS SO AMAZING N SO IS ALL OF UR WORKS FKRSNDVNDKJN

(oh god im always so nervous to send u an ask ;^;)

REDDDDD DON'T BE NERVOUS I ADORE YOU <33 and it's not bothering me at all!

usually when i'm plotting out a series it starts with like 2-3 main scenes i want to see in it. so for example, it waterloo, i had the original beach scene, the dancing in the rain scene, and a scene that's about to come up in the 5th installment set at a graveyard. once i have those 2-3 scenes, i focus on trying to figure out how i want the series to end. because my main issue is that if i don't have a ending in sight, i'll just keep going and going and going and then we'll never see the end of the series so i need to know the ending point before starting to write.

then when i have the few scenes i started for + a vague idea for the ending, i start figuring out how much development is going to be needed to get from scene to scene and i start ballparking chapter numbers.

once i've got a tentative number of chapters, i bring it to the trustee spreadsheets (i love spreadsheets i use them for everything) and then i start putting down the scenes i have into each chapter. i try to aim to max at 6 scenes a chapter. ideally only 3-4 but sometimes i end up going over it can't be helped. while i'm still in the spreadsheet stage, i try to figure out what exactly i want to see in each of the chapters—i put my main goal for each chapter in one of the columns, so for example

badlands1 - main goal was their meeting badlands2 - main goal was developing their relationship: the initial development of feelings on reader's part and dazai's acknowledgment that he's in a bit over his head badlands3 - main goal was reader fully acknowledging her feelings & dazai coming to terms with the fact his care for her is obvious enough that it's being used against him badlands4 - main goal was having reader realize that dazai is hiding stuff from her and casting some suspicion over him while also having them take the next step in their relationship

obviously i made sure to note some of the important side goals too: ie. her meeting the agency, her taking note of dazai's avoidant tendencies, etc. but the most important things for me were keeping track of each of the main goals for each chapters and filling out scenes around them.

honestly i dont even know if this'll help too much, i hope it does, but tldr: keeping an end in sight, giving yourself a development goal for each chapter and then filling out scenes around them. + trust in spreadsheets! we love spreadsheets in this house

[sarioh]

Hello Tumblr user Rio Sarioh! If you're bored; do you have a favourite book you like to talk about? What is it about, why do you like it? Or perhaps a movie or show of which you enjoy the writing? A fairytale? A poem?

Wow, creative writing. Any thoughts on that? Pretty swell, in my opinion.

Hope you have a nice vague nine hour time window and that your thing arrives in good condition!

HEY tumblr user tt04sty hope u r doing well and thank you for the ask. also my Thing has indeed arrived in good condition so thank god i didnt have to wait all day for it. to be frank questions about my favorite media make me feel like a deer in headlights bc for whatever reason whenever i get asked this i somehow forget every piece of media i've ever consumed or that has had an impact on me in any way and i don't know why. safe answer though is probably everything everywhere all at once which i know might come as an absolute shock to everyone (<- wrote a 16k word fic inspired by it) but generally just any media that is very Wacky and Surreal visual-wise but with a central theme of love and connection gets me really bad because i am very predictable and also a little pathetic. also as a gay asian living in the west with a very stereotypical asian mother you can probably understand why the movie had such an impact on me LOL.

also creative writing... i've only done one work of creative writing in the past few years and that was wind back the clock which i think about genuinely all the time. writing Character Study is the most cathartic and fun experience in the world to me and i prolonged publishing that for SO long because i just wanted to keep working on it forever. my writer's problem is that it takes me about 60 years to come up with an idea that i am captivated enough by to be able to put it into writing and actually stick to it for more than a day and that has only happened one single time in my 2 years in mcytblr. but by god i would kill a whole man to be able to do that all over again because i am regrettably a stem major and have not written an essay or anything else creative in years and while im enjoying it i do feel like im missing out on a crucial part of being a Person. i miss writing so much you have no idea. and i feel like the further i go into this Degree the more my Meta Analysis brain starts to rot and get replaced by Numbers and Formulas and Snippets of code. i'm losing my touch forreal

as far as other media goes... to be perfectly honest i have not been consuming much lately just because i have been very busy irl but i did just finish reading the red rising trilogy for the first time which was cool... also have probably watched about 200 hours of animal documentaries over the past few months LOL. actually on the topic of books i am going on a flight soon and will have a 9 hour stopover so if anyone has any book recommendations of ANY genre i would love to hear them. please tell me all of your favorite books i want to read them all

[spacexseven]

Ooh that was fantastic! SK Reader my new beloved. Also the idea of a spinoff with yu-yu? 👀. However I’m still absolutely foaming after obsession Nikolai. He’s something else, so disturbing and entertaining. Also, rip aku, ango, hirotsu, and mushitaro. I’m wondering so much of this universe: who was Sk Reader’s First kill? Is it Japan wide or does SK Reader’s kills only cover Yokohoma? We already know SK Reader main reason, but did someone or something else help develop the urge to kill ability user for SK reader? Has the public noticed the trend of killings or is it considered non connected murders? Has the reader been given a name by the public? Any vague information on the ADA and SK Reader? Or the Port Mafia considering they lost a resource with Akutagawa’s Death? (higuchi rip) . Sorry for the questions and thank you for the amazing fic. Your writing is wonderful. It gives so much inspiration for many. Thank you again for sharing your work with us. - 🦄 anon.

hehe to answer some of your questions

their first kill was some small time ability user; they didn't know about how their ability worked until this point

i like to think they're working their way into the heart of yokohama, where the ada and pm reside. yokohama is known for having multille active ability groups so it's where their later kills will be focused. ango, oda, hirotsu and akutagawa were tasked to find sk reader first, which is how they ended up being killed by sk reader. initially these names were near the bottom of their list, since they were planning on slowly infiltrating yokohama, and killing off prominent users would hardly let them work unnoticed

i'm still working on sk reader's ability, but their ability allows them to take the ability of users they kill, so that's another main motivator. they kill for the ability they want to have. it probably started out as a survival thing, but now they just do it for the ability

it just looks like random murders to the public, though it appears to be done by the same person. a lot of ability users don't let others know about their abilities, so it's the special division and other ability user groups that figure out the murderer is only targeting ability users first

uh no name yet bc im not creative enough for that haha

i think it'll be hard to write anything between ada and sk reader except for them wanting to throw them in jail bc dazai is obvs going to be very upset about oda's death, and fukuzawa wants to restore order to ability users in yokohama. sk reader is like. an irredeemable bad guy ㅠㅠ

pm, since mori sent his people after sk reader i don't think he'll be as upset as surprised. he might actually try to recruit sk reader or at least see what they're up to bc they killed many of his strong members already. i don't think the other mafioso will be too thrilled about meeting sk reader though...

i think for this au, the hunting dogs and doa make for the best in terms of characters to explore sk readers dynamics with so i can talk more about that later if you want ^-^

man...im such a sucker for the villain x detective trope like yukito is literally haunting my dreams i am obsessed w the idea of him going after sk reade

thank you for all the questions! i had fun discussing this au with you ^-^

[cerealmonster15]

I’m acting on a whim and posting some unfinished(?) fanfic stuff I wrote like a year ago. Part of my many branches of caterella aus that has vague reference to one of my rsa ocs (dañarte)… but with a cater/idia main plot with jamil/azul happening in he background. My blurbs ended in a bit of a sad spot BUT it was always the intention in my mind that there would be happy resolutions 🙏 these were just little things I wrote for my friend and me bc it was an au we talked about…

Context: idia and cater are bonding, but only online over magicam, and idia is kinda catfishing cater (though not maliciously). when i was trying to name my original rsa oc (char) and looking at names, eppa was one of my initial possible choices. It was maybe my friend who had the idea initially of idia having a fake, RSA princely identity that cater gets to know over magicam?

Eventually I picked char for my actual guy, and dañarte became his cousin via me making typos and more discord sillies lol, but prince eppa became a pseudonym for idia and created another branch for the story. I’ve talked a bit about the dañarte lore and some of that comes into play here. Char I guess would too but I don’t think he got mentioned anywhere lol sorry buddy. But ya idia is pretending to be a prince at rsa named eppa who “secretly likes video games” or whatever I think lol. Idia likes his bond with cater but can’t even begin to think of how cater would react if he found out idia was lying to him.

Anyway. This is more cater/idia (and board game boys friendship) focused than anything (lots of idia pov pining lol) and idk if anyone would wanna read it but I’m putting it here to record keep anyway. No ao3 Bc It’s very unedited and unfinished and just kinda blurb writing lol

But it’s the only time if technically written for caydia. And I do like it. It’s just embarrassing bc I get embarrassed with my oc things and my love for romance drama but i guess I’ve been exposing more of it lately lol… shout out to anyone who recognizes the fic I’m referencing that I DID post lol.

Anyway. Copy pasted from my Google docs:

Idia’s computer pinged as a message appeared on screen.

C.Dia - eppa, are u awake?

Idia looked at the clock, startled. It was 3AM… Idia was still up because he was grinding a new event in one of his many, many, many games, but what the heck was Cater Diamond doing up at this hour? Had he just gotten back from a party?

PrinceEppa: ya, why r u tho? It’s crazy late lol

C.Dia: lol ikr

C.Dia: i just cant sleep rn >.<

PrinceEppa: how come?

C.Dia: i got into a fight w/my bf again…

Idia sighed at his computer. Right… Cater’d started dating that prettyboy from RSA.

PrinceEppa: 0~0 thats like the third time this month…

C.Dia: ya ik ;-;

Idia fiddled with the strings on his hoodie. He didn’t really know if his heart could take hearing Cater talk about another guy, but the thought of Cater laying around sad and alone made him ache just as bad… But what was he supposed to say in times like these? Idia didn’t know anything about comforting someone about relationships! He barely talked to people in general!

Thankfully, Cater kept going and spared Idia the anguish of trying to figure out what to do next.

C.Dia: are u going to bed rn?

PrinceEppa: no lol ill be up for a while longer.

C.Dia: royalty keeps busy at all hours huh?

Idia tensed at the mention of his lies.

PrinceEppa: something like that. Balancing the princely duties and the princely gamer sessions is tough work 😌

C.Dia: LOL. never change eppa <3

His face grew warm, a bittersweet swelling filling his chest.

C.Dia: can u chat with me a lil longer then?

C.Dia: tell me about ur day or ur games or w/e? I kinda just want a distraction, i dont really wanna be alone rn

C.Dia: if ur not busy anyway >.< it’s oki if you wanna focus on ur gamer mode lololol

Idia paused for a moment, before moving his mouse and closing out of his game. The rest of the event grind could wait.

PrinceEppa: im never too busy for you, cay.

C.Dia: thx <3

Sometimes, even for the prince of otakus, there were more important things than gaming…

But only when those things were really, really, really special.

*

“I heard Cater and that RSA boyfriend of his broke up.” Azul spoke after several minutes of silently moving chess pieces around the board.

Idia frowned. “Don’t try and use that as a distraction from the game just because I’m winning.”

Azul kept his face neutral so as not to betray any bluff he might have. “Perish the thought. I just thought his sweet prince eppa would be interested in such information.”

“SHH!” Idia hissed. “Not so loud! Besides, I-I already know. He told me…”

Azul raised an eyebrow. “He told you, or he told Eppa?”

Idia focused on the chess piece he moved. “Same thing.”

Azul sighed as he took his own piece and contemplated his next move. “Hardly. Honestly, how can you ever expect to move your relationship forward if you don’t unmask yourself? All this bonding will be for nothing if you don’t use it to the full extent!”

Idia rolled his eyes. “I don’t wanna hear it from you of all people. How long have you been saying you’re gonna ask Jamil out?”

It was Azul’s turn to shush Idia, face reddening. “How is that even relevant?!”

Idia grinned. “Cuz you keep going on and on to me about how I should be more confident with Cater, but you won’t even take the plunge with Jamil! Hypocrisy much?”

“I’m simply waiting for the right time. I would be a fool if I didn’t stick with my patient strategy of getting him to warm up to me before striking! Move too early, and I’ll undo all my progress…”

Idia sighed, thinking back to all the hours he’d spent DMing Cater under a fake name. They’d gotten quite close, but as far as Cater knew, Idia was still that vague acquaintance in the back of his classes.

If he messed up by telling him his identity at the wrong moment, or didn’t phrase it right…

“Lost progress… that’s exactly what I’m afraid of…”

*

“Idia!” Cater’s cheerful voice called out as he approached the lecture hall desks. “You’re in person again today; that’s three for three this week!” He spoke with a smile as he slid into the seat next to Idia.

Idia jumped at the sudden appearance of his classmate. “O-oh, uh, yeah…”

“Oh, B-T-W, did you hear that Azul and Jamil were on a date Friday night?” Cater said in a half-whisper, leaning close to Idia’s ear.

“Uhh…” Idia didn’t really know how to answer that. Sure, he knew Azul had some overly complicated date-but-not-a-date plan to get Jamil to hang out with him, and then ask him out for real, but how did Cater hear about…?

“I was hangin’ out with the pop music club on Friday when Ruggie texted Kalim that he was serving their table! Isn’t that just crazy?”

Ah. Kalim and Ruggie. That explained it all.

“I mean, I always wondered if those two had something goin’ on, y’know? Like, they had that ‘will they, wont they, playing hard to get’ kind of vibe. Super cute, if you ask me.”

Idia wasn’t really sure that ‘cute’ was a good way to describe anything those two were involved in, but he simply nodded his head along to Cater’s blathering, as he discreetly pulled his phone out of his pocket and switched to his Prince Eppa magicam account, reading the messages from that morning.

PrinceEppa: howre u feeling?

C.Dia: like total trash lol…..

C.Dia: ik he was a jerk but like i miss him, yknow??

C.Dia: or maybe i just miss having someone there. And its almost valentines day lol. Shit timing amirite?

PrinceEppa: that really does suck… im sorry, cater.

C.Dia: thanks, it’s oki tho. Better to get it overwith lol

C.Dia: i really dont wanna get out of bed or go to class…

PrinceEppa: mood

PrinceEppa: u really should tho. Ik it’s hard but itll feel worse if u stay there all alone

C.Dia: urk. Idk if i have the energy to be around people today

PrinceEppa: tbh i get that… i dont rlly wanna go face people either today…

PrinceEppa: how about we try it together?

C.Dia: i wish u went to my school so we really could go to class together <3

C.Dia: but oki. I'll try, for you :)

PrinceEppa: :)

If Cater really was feeling as bad as he felt, he was pretty good at hiding it with that blinding smile and bubbly laughter.

Sure, Idia’s first instinct would be to immediately enable anyone that wanted to spend the day hiding in bed, but… The thought of Cater lying alone in the dark with his thoughts just made Idia sad.

And, if he did that, Idia wouldn’t get to see him in class today…

“Oooh, do you think Azul and Jamil are gonna go out again on Valentine’s day?”

That depends on what Jamil answered on Azul’s questionnaire, Idia thought to himself. He was sure he’d get a full report from Azul later that day at their next club meeting.

Cater sighed. “Another Valentine’s day, and Cay-Cay’s single yet again!” He smiled, but Idia felt that his eyes weren’t lit as bright as they normally were as he spoke. “But, I’m sure some of the boys at Heartslabyul will be hangin’ around like always. It’s never lonely when you live with friends!” He turned to face Idia again. “What about you, Idia? Any steamy plans for Valentine’s day?”

“U-uh…” Idia started fiddling with his hair. It was now or never. ‘A-Actually, Cater… M-my dorm, Ignihyde, we’re h-hosting a movie night that night… Y’know, ‘cause a lot of us don’t really have plans for Valentine’s day and don’t wanna be sulking alone…” He swallowed a lump in his throat and took a deep breath. “...Y-you can come join, i-if you want…?”

Cater blinked a few times, a look of surprise on his face, before breaking into a smile and giving Idia’s arm a small squeeze of a hug. “OMG, movie night at Ignihyde?! I hear you guys have like, the sickest setup! That sounds great; count me in!”

Idia breathed a sigh of relief as the professor began class.

A few seconds in, his phone quietly vibrated as a single message came through. Idia glanced at it from down in his jacket pocket.

C.Dia: a rlly sweet guy in my class just invited me to hang out w/him and his dormmates on valentines day

C.Dia: u were right about getting out of bed. i think ill be okay today ^.^

***

“Hey, Idia…” Cater put his phone down, magicam abandoned where he’d paused on a video of a turtle swimming around an aquarium. “We’ve gotten a bit closer lately, huh?”

Idia paused the game he had up on his tablet. “H-huh? Oh, uh, y-yeah…”

“So, uh,” Cater played with a strand of his hair. “Do you mind if I talk to you about something a little… personal?”

Idia froze. Abort mission, find an escape route, he was not a high enough level for this kind of topic yet! Maybe Eppa was, but Idia!?

And yet, he couldn’t bring himself to just say no when Cater was looking at him with those soft green eyes.

“S-sure…”

“Thanks! Y’know, you’re really sweet, and like, such a good listener…”

Idia hoped the redness of his face was hidden behind the flames of his hair that flickered in every direction.

“And I’ve just been feeling so… confused lately, about where my heart’s at. My feelings feel like they’re being pulled in so many different directions!”

Idia could feel his heart hammering in his chest.

Cater sighed, laying his head down on the table. “My ex asked me on a date today. He wants me to give him another chance.”

The burning sensation from Idia’s insides made a 180 as he felt his blood go cold. This was the last thing he wanted to hear his normie crush come and tell him without warning…

“And the craziest part? I said I’d think about it.”

Oh god.

“I know that’s like, totally insane after everything that happened, but… I dunno, seeing him around now that he goes to school here just has my head all scrambled!” He picked his head up from the table, opened his phone again, and gave the turtle video a like before standing back up suddenly. “Gosh, sorry, I don’t know why I just came over here and dumped that on you, Idia. I guess I just find you so easy to talk to, I get a little carried away!” He said with a nervous laugh.

Lucky Idia.

“But, don’t worry about it. I’ll figure things out for myself. It’ll be A-okay!” Cater gave an unconvincing thumbs up before turning to leave.

Super lucky.

*

“Azul, today might actually be the worst day of my life.” Idia said as he dragged himself into the clubroom and plopped down in the seat across from Azul in their usual spot.

“...Hm? Oh, hello, Idia.” Azul looked up from his phone. “I believe you said the same thing when you came in here to lament about Cater getting together with his… boyfriend, a while back.” Azul seemed tense at the very concept of Danarte. He hadn’t exactly been a fan of the guy since he transferred to not just NRC, but into Scarabia specifically, where he’d made a point to hover around Kalim and Jamil as much as possible.

“I mean, it’s basically the same level of despair. Cater just told me Danarte not only asked him out, but that he’s considering it!” Idia dropped his head facedown onto the table in sorrow. “Like, how could I lose to the same guy twice!? Ugh, honestly, there’s no one as pathetic as me. I am having the WORST time, and NO ONE could possibly understand the agony I’m in right now!”

Azul chuckled, his tone solemn and hollow. “I’ll do you one better. Jamil broke up with me today.”

Wait, what?

Idia’s head shot up as he squinted at Azul, who was gazing sadly at his phone again. “Huh!? Wh- Huh!? What happened?”

Azul sighed. “We had another fight- and I mean, you know how we are. We have our differences, our disagreements, and the two of us can be a bit… stubborn at times. But we always figure it out! We were doing so well… At least, I thought we were.” Azul rested his chin in his hands. “But I suppose Jamil didn’t feel that way. He said he’d had enough of the relationship. Enough of me.”

Azul bowed his head to stare down at the table.

Idia wondered if he was trying not to cry. He looked out the window, both out of respect, and also because it felt kind of awkward to stare at his friend who was clearly just barely holding it together after getting dumped.

After a few seconds of awkward silence, when it was clear neither of them wanted to discuss their woes anymore, Idia spoke. “Uh, wanna play the VR headset boardgames today? Now’s kinda the perfect time to… Escape reality, right?”

Azul lifted his gaze to Idia. “...You just want to make me use the virtual dice again because you know I can’t use my perfected dice strategy on them, don’t you?” He straightened his posture, standing up to get the headsets. “I’ll have you know I won’t let your silly game of virtual chance best me today!”

Oh thank god that worked. Idia didn’t think either of them could handle any more emotions for the day, so he stood up and followed Azul with a grin. “Hehe, we’ll see about that, Azul.”

[claudiajcregg]

i'd love to hear any behind the scenes you have on 'say it's here where our pieces fall in place' bc i read it and loved it and i want to know about it 💜

Welp, I've been thinking about this since you sent it and I feel I won't do it justice! I feel like I could say a lot if I went chapter by chapter, but many tabs of unread fics stare back at me. I'll skim and try to say something, though.

Some commentary on say it's here where our pieces fall in place under the cut! I am sick and rambly. And lbr I can never shut up anyway, but this might be too incoherent even for me. (Original ask post here)

It was sort of an unofficial NaNoWriMo project, in that I set myself a goal to tackle “longer fics” or ideas I wanted to cover but hadn't. From my notes, I had this idea to write a ficlet per year because I always enjoy this kind of story, and I know I'd tried to approach different ones in the past. I started writing in late October/finished in Nov 2021. (The other fic I started was never finished, even if dammit, it hits.) I posted it in January, so it wasn't that bad, considering I'll often take months.

It's maybe important to note that I had only finished writing “The Monster (affectionate)” (aka the 148k-ish word IM AU) in early September and I felt a bit burned out after spending five months writing that (would’ve been less but the struggle was real for the last third of the story. Oddly reminiscing of you-know-what story these days). This arbitrary deadline helped me get back into writing. Granted, I wrote a couple of fics in those five months, but I wanted to try another multichapter.

Anyway. I picked some random, perhaps not obvious choices for the vignettes. It was partly to avoid writing something I might have potentially covered at one point, and also a challenge. Some are also strange (the dream!), but I kinda loved it? (Fun fact: the fic references the Sherry-Netherland, whose exterior is the establishing shot in Internal Displacement. I swear there is some thought put into my writing.) And as the A/N I wrote to myself, I definitely wrote and rewrote bits and pieces of this on my way to and from therapy, haha.

Let me find a fun fact about each of the chapters, if I can think of any.

1998: actually repurposed some campaign fic idea I distinctly remember writing in spring 2018, while I was still in uni. It also has GLOVES. I live for that.

1999: I like the idea of exploring Danny and Abbey's relationship! They presumably have a good one and yet, I don't think we ever see them interact. (And god. Danny's recent, pre-campaign breakup is a recurring theme in my campaign stories too, loool.)

2000: Danny and Josh are an underrated friendship, and I like the references to Rosslyn. There was so much in those months in Midterms that we didn't see, and I like thinking Danny visited his friend.

We also got two back-to-back chapters focused on Danny - I remember trying to make it even, so that the focus was more or less evenly split.

2001: the Manchester fuckup! And it's one of the dream chapters! There were two of them? (We're 3 out of 4 in which I was surprised by the focus, but now I kinda want to re-read it all properly?) I'll say that I can see some vague, unconscious inspo from Freefall by KadeeFalls in this chapter (esp since I was just talking to you about it)... But I'm mostly obsessed with the magical realism (there's another term that my foggy brain cannot think of rn) of dreams, and how it can help us clear our heads.

2002: I remembered this was set after Simon! I know it's probably an odd, controversial choice but they both tried to move on (at least, we know CJ did), and it felt disingenuous not to include it. There are moments when she almost admits to her previous (?) feelings for Danny, but stops.

As with most thus far, there were fluffier and probably better choices for 2002 (Christmas!!), but... My brain wanted it to appear like CJ couldn't really bring herself to think about Danny.

2003: Aw, the specialty store is inspired by a franchise over here that had Goldfish (not many flavors) and I took a dramatic license and added it over there. I also added a small flashback because I love thinking Danny doesn't think they're all that but likes them. (But will tease CJ about it.) Plus, some more resolution to moving on!

2004: Yeah, the formatting is weird. (This is one I'd have to go back and do a blockquote or something.) Danny winning a Pulitzer for the Shareef stuff is a mostly accepted headcanon. CJ seeing his picture on the paper and having feels is just something I love, especially if he mentions someone else. (Look. I'm all for letting him pine, but he deserves to move on and fail too.) Plus Josh teasing her!

2005: The Sherry-Netherland! fwiw, I'm sure I had finally figured out this was the place and decided it would be so cheeky to add it here. I'm so sMaRt. Flowers when she gets promoted! And my spin (in this story) of CJ vaguely shunning him. This is the angst before the fluff.

2006: I remembered this one was a dream at some restaurant! (Again the formatting is not great, but I didn't want to tip my obvious hand.) The same way I think CJ's dream in 2001 was about her wondering how Danny would have reacted, this is about Danny realizing he needs to reach out to her... But with the added family ~tale~. Def inspired by that lyric in "Sad Beautiful Tragic."

2007: I feel like having it at some random dinner with Josh and Donna was an odd choice, but I loved the idea of a double date! The scarf scene is just so! And the chaos siblings energy is great. It was a reprieve from the angst.

Meeting at LAX was right there! I had written a story or two trying to do it justice, so I'm guessing that's why it's not. And fwiw the airport story I wrote shortly after that is the one being posted ~soon~. (A rewritten, slightly expanded version.)

2008: Pregnancy mood swings! It hurt to make them fight, but it's so fluffy otherwise. From what I remember, it has various references to things that happen in the story (particularly from the first two chapters) but it still manages to close it rather nicely, showing how strong their marriage is. I hope.

Okay. This has gotten way too long and it's probably useless.

I've always said I could have written another 11 chapters using different scenes, because there are just so many, even outside the obvious ones... Though I feel I wouldn't be able to recapture the magic.

I do definitely want to reread this for real. As with many fics, it's one of those I used to reread often before posting it (especially the last quarter/third) and then just ignored after. See some other recent examples, such as memoir fic, Portland fic.

Thank you for asking, Ally! God, I used to be a good writer. What happened?!??!

[wrishwrosh]

Talk shop Tuesday!!! How do you decide what research to do for a specific fic and which details to include?

talk shop tuesday!! thank you!! this is a fun question bc im very prepared to articulate HOW i do research and WHY i do research but its a lot tougher to explain WHICH research. a lot of times i’ll decide on a vague premise or setting for a fic and then let the research suggest the story, like whatever interesting resources or anecdotes i come across then shape the plot. so in most cases i am researching before/during the drafting process rather than trying to fill in gaps while editing, i think “write first research later” is terrible advice that i dont follow. the rabbit hole is where the magic happens!!

example: i started ‘not a strange thing amongst the people’ with a vague idea of boyd and raylan in wwi meeting in the trenches or something, and then started researching to figure out the exact circumstances: what their wars would have been like, how a guy from kentucky might have ended up in europe, under what circumstances they would reconnect, where and when exactly this would be happening (on the one hand, probably few of these details would make it on the page and this level of rationalization doesn’t matter when The Trench is a perfectly legible symbol to most readers. ((its the scary wet place where homoeroticism happens!)) however i think its more fun and a better characterization exercise when its realer and also the cliche is right truth is very often stranger and cooler than fiction. history is full of extremely weird coincidences and patterns that make excellent stories.)

the original vague plot i had in my head for ‘not a strange thing’ based on zero research just vibes was boyd as a jaded middle aged kentucky national guard nco who got dragged to belgium and raylan as an mp or something and they reconnect while boyd is awaiting court marshal for some kind of uuhhhh trench scam. or something. however then i started digging into the minutiae of how enlistment worked in wwi and under what circumstances particular types of guys got sent overseas and then thought ‘hey were the marshals in the trenches could that be why raylan was there?’ and looked at one timeline on marshals dot gov to learn that the marshals stayed stateside spying on german civilians and chasing down draft dodgers and a little lightbulb went off in my head and then the story became a totally different story. and this was approximately minute 19 of the research process which was still the idle googling phase.

the other way i decide to do research is by questioning all my own assumptions as im writing. like if i am writing about a place or time that is not my own and i find myself going ‘yeah thats probably how things work’ then that is always going to be a productive place for more research and for the inclusion of detail based on that research bc the gaps between my experience and the character’s experience are why im writing the story. as another example a lot of the first bits i wrote for not a strange thing involved raylan having a car and driving around. this was just an instinctual decision i made (aka assumption) (also i had recently come across the phrase “touring car” and liked it and wanted to use it in something) and then questioning that instinct led to qs like well how did you get from lexington to harlan in 1918. what kind of cars would a marshal have had access to. if other marshals in other places in the country didnt NOT have cars could raylan have had a car. and then that led to an unproductive rabbit hole where i was looking at archival marshal financial records to see if they were buying cars and then i had to just cut myself off and say raylan was allowed to drive. BUT i learned a lot about roads and transit and car culture in the place and time that i think made the story a little juicier.

as always this is long as hell and probably too detailed but i just like to talk about research! i just think its neat! talk shop!

[waywardsalt]

ship thoughts bc im trying to untangle what i want to do with this (not limited to tags this time yippee)

ok so like. bellum x linebeck is a weird ship and the only ship i have in my small little collection thats Like That

i mean. the other ones are like…

damibeck is soft oc x canon its my canon linebeck ship theyre boyfriends theyre husbands damien is his childhood friend and they are very close from the get go for various reasons its like. generally normal romance its a comfort thing at times but also something i can make interesting or at the center of a conflict

ganonbeck is a fun crackship sort thing that started as a joke but turns out to have genuinely interesting ideas you can use with it so its probably the most versatile in how i use it

bellum x linebeck is the only one where they canonically meet and good lord idk how to convert my weird abstracts ideas and thoughts (and joke ideas) into coherent ship ideas but ill try here

like. bellum isnt much of a character while linebeck is a great character so off the bat i kinda have to figure out. what bellum is like. but i think he generally finds linebeck interesting and is civil in a post game setting for a handful of reasons, including that curiosity abt linebeck and a vague respect for him. i think linebeck has a shaky understanding of bellum as well as a similarly weird respect, but would need a little more time to really trust him, but they both start off with some weird comfort bc like. they probably know each other p intimately already

like with bellumbeck stuff bellum likely learns a lot abt linebeck through that, and going with the ideas i have abt what goes on during that, linebeck learns a lot abt bellum, too, so they have a baseline understanding of each other. i want to keep empathy out of it generally, esp on bellum’s side of things (i hc linebeck as being low empathy but with bellum specifically its either low emparhy too or no empathy at all, problem being i have a hard time like. recognizing empathy vs no empathy like idk what the difference is if that makes sense. i want bellum to actively choose to be nice or w/e instead of just like. feeling bad or w/e, idk what part empathy might play in recognizing that you have similarities with something)

like i dont want to spill the beans on a lot of linebeck and bellum backstory stuff bc id rather do that through fic stuff, but they have a general understanding of each other through like. vague. situation comparison (with linebeck its like. minor dot connecting and some stretches of imagination but that doesnt do it all for him while for bellum its a kinda oh shit moment), and bellum just finds linebeck interesting in the unconventional (and frustrating) way he had to deal with him and how and why he failed to 1) fully control and convince him of certain things and 2) linebecks survival is something he did not anticipate at all so for bellum theres this fascination in linebeck as hes a guy who broke every rule bellum thought was in place with this thing he’d done before and is just like. hey man what the fuck. in that curiosity. in a strange sense linebeck is untouchable to bellum bc of this (not literally but. yknow)

like i dont think id want to write this as some kind of explicit or conventional romance, just some weird relationship thing that slips into romantic, into sexual, into intimate, and then back out into that weird nebulous area

damien is there. this is in post ph context. damien is very much there and interested in bellum as well but its very different i just wanted to bring it up bc it does slip into polycule territory in post ph

theres probably walls and walls of text i could write abt this while untangling what i might want to do with bellum x linebeck but uuuuugh im tired

like on the physical side of things tho its. really weird like linebeck has strict boundaries and in a sense bellum has broken them before and so they have a bit of a tricky physical relationship bc linebeck has a hard time sorting his feelings towards bellum out and bellum can be kinda touchy feely with him at times, and the strangeness that comes with sorting things out with his lil demon form and with his humanoid form

also the tentacle stuff

im very much thinking abt the tentacle stuff

i dont. im not familiar with that kind of stuff

its been the biggest barrier for me in thinking abt this ship and generally its just bellum using em as arms and to grab and hold stuff and different ways they can apply when he interacts with linebeck like hes got a bunch of different clingy stuff idk. he can do weird hugs. while experimenting with damien linebeck figures out he kinda has a thing for being tied up and then (both he and bellum) have to face the fact that they likely know either when that might have started or that it complicates things a little further

[trentcrimminallybeautiful]

☔️? i really love your work! (your trent is so dorky he's absolutely perfect)

thank you sm!!! i just. i just love him being a dork <33 he's so. 💗💞💖💗💓💞💞💗💖💖💗💞💖💞💞💗💖

☔Is there a fic concept you have that you'd like to just explain and share because you're not sure you'll ever write it? If so, what is it?

okay i swear im not copying off of @sighonaraa here (hey !! 😘) bc my initial inspiration was poirot (silly mustache buddies!) not benoit blanc, although benoit blanc and sherlock holmes did cross my mind after i had the initial idea, but i have a fic i've rotated in my brain about like. amateur sleuth/gentleman detective/gumshoe ted au, with a tedependent angle.

i actually have a lot of interest in like. both mystery stories in general (amateur sleuth/gentleman detective versus private eye/noir detective is a good one! i have a very vague noir au too--and trent as a homme fatale, perhaps? inch resting) and in like. certain archetypes (gentleman thief, amateur sleuth, magical nanny, noir private eye, etc) and it's fun to see how ted would fit into them (magical nanny is weirdly fitting, the whole mary poppins/nanny mcphee--oh my god, "when you do not want me but need me, i must stay--when you want me but no longer need me, i must go" this is literally how ted thinks of his role with the teams he coaches isn't it. jesus christ. hang on a second i'm going to make that a Post.)

so like i have a lot of vague aus centered around these concepts: ted as a poirot/benoit blanc/sherlock type character, and trent potentially as his watson/hastings/etc, or the other way around possibly but less likely, and so on.

with the sleuth thing in particular, though, i just have a lot of feelings about how a good gentleman sleuth has to be like. kind, intelligent, underestimated, and non-judgemental. particularly that last one, i think, is a very important trait--because they go digging around in the domestic private lives of their suspects, and often uncover truths that are irrelevant to the crime at hand, but nonetheless have deeper life-changing implications. (a hidden relationship, a secret, a past indiscretion, whatever--i could genuinely write an essay aobut this but im trying to hold back here so i won't give specific examples) and in order to be kind, an amateur sleuth must know when to let things lie (in fact, a good sleuth will sometimes, if rarely, let the murderer go entirely, if it is needed, which generally, a cop in a cop show can never do), or when to be earnestly non-judgemental about it, you know? and i think all that suits ted to a "t". being curious, not judgemental. being kind and empathetic. i think trent would make a great partner in this as well because he very much cares about the truth, but ted helps him see when it's better to keep silent, because despite trent's determination (especially if he still starts off as a journalist with a Reputation) he does have a kind heart, and he isn't necessarily interested in causing pain. and he's very intelligent in his own right (although that's another thing, is that usually the watson/hastings is, while intelligent in their own way, an entirely different type of intelligence, while i believe trent would actually be pretty good at detecting, considering his skillset? so. hm.)

anyway i just have a lot of messy thoughts about this.

also see: i wrote like, one page of a selkie!trent au bc a single scene sprung into my brain fully formed and nothing else will cooperate now.

[okthatsgreat]

i am GRABBING YOU and SHAKING YOU. did you know your mikane is the craziest. did you. did you know that. last chapter drove me so far up the wall i am still yet to calmndown...... poor mikan. imagine ur emotionally repressed gf runs away again only for two children w the exact same problem to come barging through your door.

i have so many things to ask........ but i shan't ask them all. please please tell me anything about ur ideas for mikane in general or in oppdmh bc they're the most crazy insane yuri ever. OH RIGHT YEAH AND. the actual question. obviously opddmh mikan still struggles with anxiety, but how do you think she's changed in mentality and issues after everything that came after danganronpa? any issues outgrown or gained? morphed in some way? love ur work so much every time. u made me pause my utena rewatch and that is such a big compliment u do not even know

GRABS YOU SHAKES YOUSHAKESYOU SHAKES YOU SHAKES YOU

talking about this fic, as always putting the answer under read more for people who dont wanna read lol!!!!!!!

OHHH MY GOD IM INSANE ABOUT THEMM. went into this fic knowing that i wanted mikan and akane to have their own povs because i thought theyd bring different perspectives, especially in comparison to makoto's pov. i knew what i wanted mikans story to involve and i had a vague idea about akanes (fun fact rantaro was originally gonna be kaito LOL) and then like two chapters into writing mikans point of view i was like waiiiitttt a minute. wait a minute hold on. what if they were in love. and what if they were so not normal about it

it made so much sense for the story i wanted both of them to tell that immediately i went into my notes and started pivoting a few things LMFAO. i just think that their relationship (or their pining at least lol) is able to neatly underline some of their core themes/issues in this fic, whether that be for better or for worse. through the lens of their relationship im hoping to convey mikan's sheer capacity of worry and insecurity, how she finds it difficult to move through life without another person to rely on even if she has done a bit of growing since the simulator and how that dependency affects her. and then of course akane's emotional repression is highlighted through their relationship (her forgetfulness, her inability to communicate, LEAVING all of the time), but also it's a great reminder of just how protective akane can get even if she isn't there. not to mention how worried she gets about mikan despite her absolute refusal to worry.

they care about each other to the point of unspoken codependency and while it is absolutely making both of them feel safe and happy it is still a reminder of their underlying problems. akane would do anything to avoid somebody thinking she is weak enough to be cared for. but all mikan can do is care and care and care about her. both of them are so willing to shoulder the problems of the other but neither of them want to be seen as burdens, so all they end up doing is silently dance around their issues until eventually somebody caves. INSANE YURI MOMENT

mikan still absolutely has anxiety LMFAO and dare i say..... she's...... kind of better????????????????????? or maybe not actually. going into this i had to think about how to write these characters in a way that felt true to who they are but also remembering that they have GROWN, even if danganronpa really makes them feel as if they havent lol. this is a mikan who has likely endured years of therapy, even if that therapy is SHIT at best. this is also a mikan who has been shoved into the spotlight rather forcibly and has basically been given the choice to adapt or die. so i probably shouldnt say that shes "better", it's more that shes had to modify herself to fit this new lifestyle of hers. she hasnt been given much of a choice, and i imagine shes had a few years to really fuck up and struggle before reaching this point. she is constantly in the spotlight and basically always under scrutiny, so ive sort of swayed away from her wanting attention and focused more on how she reacts to this attention-- shes grown bitter from the negative and she doesnt think she deserves most of the positive. it's this hurricane of problems with mikan and a lot of it involves her own struggle to view herself as a good person, which stems heavily from the insecurities she already had in her game and intensified by what happened outside of it. years of being seen as this iconic chapter three killer has absolutely worn her down a bit, but there is still a part of her that yearns for control over her life and the people surrounding it. she is still SO anxious, ive tried to really hammer home quite a few recurring symptoms with her like her nervous tics, sickness/lack of appetite, hair shedding, etc!! and she is extremely bitter about how shes been treated, too, which im hoping to elaborate on further on down the line. however she really, REALLY can not be passing out in front of cameras or throwing any fits about the exploitation shes endured since shes been a teen because the company she works for wont accept anything that isnt on brand. and underneath it all shes still that scared little kid that desperately wants to please

she's an older mikan but she is still very much hurting, not necessarily any less but in a way that's a bit different if that makes sense :)

you are SO FUCKING NICE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <33333333333

[rollercoasterwords]

hi rae!! i was wondering if you could tell us more about your writing process :)) im very curious about it. like, do you brainstorm then write or write whatever flows or both. do you painstakingly line edit after or just give it a glance for any mistakes. im mostly curious about atydsp bc its so exceptionally well written and it absolutely boggles my mind that you were posting a ch a day. how much of your time for atydsp involved editing/scrapping & rewriting/etc? xx

hi sure i'd be happy to!! gonna put this under a cut tho bc it got long lol

for atydsp (+ my captive prince rewrite) my process was pretty different from my other writing in that i basically descended into a feverish haze of obsession and literally abandoned all other hobbies just to write bc i loved the story so much lol. for atydsp especially that thing was like...my only hobby for half a year like i was not reading or watching tv or movies or playing video games etc bc the only thing i wanted 2 do in my free time was. write.

when i'm rewriting a story from another character's pov i usually have the ch of whatever i'm rewriting open next to word doc and just kinda go 2 town. i think it's much easier when you aren't having to do the heavy lifting when it comes to plot and are following an outline, bc obviously you aren't having to do much story planning urself--although for the later chs of atydsp where i sort of broke off from the og version + the chs where r + s are separated + i had to write new scenes for s i did have to spend more time planning, writing, editing, etc, but i didn't start posting the story until i'd already written the first 20 chs so. i had a pretty large buffer and that combined with the obsession combined with the shorter chapters + outline to follow is why i was able to post so frequently.

when i'm writing a new fic there's much more brainstorming involved bc obviously i am having 2 come up w a whole new plot!! but bc i'm only writing fic for fun i don't really take it too seriously and usually i just cobble together a couple of fun scenes or tropes that i like and then sort of...fill in the blanks? like if i'm like "ok i want to write a scene where x happens and then later a scene where y happens" i usually end up figuring out a plot/how to keep the story moving between those two scenes, rather than vice versa (having like...a coherent plot and then coming up with fun scenes that fit into it). like my current wip started as just a single idea of "ooh what if there was a werewolf fighting ring" and then it become a voldemort-won au bc i was like hmmm in what situation would r + s meet at a werewolf fighting ring...and then i decided it would eventually turn into a horcrux hunt bc i was like "ok if r + s grew up in a voldemort-won au...what would james be doing...." and now the story is continuing to change as i continue to have ideas of like "ooh what if i incorporated this trope" or "ooh this would be such a fun scene to write." like lily + james's entire dynamic in this fic basically grew out of an idea that i had for a single argument that i wanted to write lmao

anyway when it comes to actual writing process i usually go into a ch with just a vague outline of a few bullet points, and if i'm stuck on something i send a voicenote to my sister just like...talking through my thoughts + what i want to happen + usually by the end of the voicenote i'll have figured out what direction i wanna take things. or sometimes i'll ask her opinion (the ending i'm planning rn for atwmd changed completely after one such consultation...had an idea but then talked myself out of it but then my twin was like wait....i think that idea works better than what ur currently planning....and i was like damn maybe ur right....). so most of my planning + brainstorming is basically just me daydreaming + then talking 2 myself lmao.

when it comes to actual writing i'm pretty slow because i'm too much of a perfectionist and i need everything to sound right. immediately. like i have heard the advice so many times "just get something down on the page then go back and edit it later" but i am like. incapable of following it lol i will write a sentence and then read over it three times to decide if i like it before i move on. the plus side to this is that my chs usually need very little editing; i generally just read over them once or twice and make a few minor tweaks and i'm good to go!

anyway. i have had some similar inquiries abt my writing process etc in the past so i'll tag this ask w 'writing tips' bc i think that's what i've used b4; hopefully this satisfied ur curiosity!

[llycaons]

ep14 (pt1): oh boy romantic montage time

wwx as a teenager is genuinely more compassionate than he's portrayed as

aw shit mention of the oath

I've often been confused by this sequence. if they showed wwx actually entering the shell instead of suddenly cutting to him inside this big red cavern, I think it would have made more sense

also I've often complained that animals don't have large rooms in their bodies like that but I just realized....oh yeah it's an ancient twisted monster. animal biology need not apply so 🤡

honestly I found this fight scene very drawn-out and uninteresting. the special effects for the fight were somewhat awkward and I was kind of bored. this was good though

wyb does 'devastated' very well

I'm kind of missing the donhua ngl. I like cql the best but the donghua was just so focused and clever and creative with the story

wwx is all kinds of fucked up after this fight....not just from his concerning readiness to die but probably also from connecting with this cursed fucking sword. he seems really out of it, and seems to be in a drowsy sort of honesty when he's like 'oh lan zhan...I didn't think I'd be able to meet you again' which is a very...nitimate thing to say? bc later when lwj gives him spiritual energy and he's a little more himself

he sees lwj all lit up and helping him and he starts complaining about how 'boring' it is. face your feelings, wwx! stop avoiding them! you think lwj is beautiful and unique and special and you like him a lot!

it's also. I feel like wwx doesn't feel like he even has the right to have an attachment outside of the jiangs? in some scenes he's really enthusiastic about himself and lwj being partners but in others he hastily denies it in order to smooth things over with jc, so jc doesn't feel abandoned. oof. we'll get to that

okay the top one is the viki and the bottom one is the youtube version which I remember! why are the translations the opposite of each other! also the youtube version is literally higher quality im so mad

god damn I love the lyrics to wuji. they almost don't matter, since they never come up after this and they're not relevant to the song's significance within the narrative, but they're perfect. it's about the struggles of a lifetime, about grief and joy, the ups and downs of being in the world, of reputation lost and gained. vague and poetic, and achingly relevant. that last line about sharing a tune together at the horizon....that's the finale, isn't it? just beautifully put together and a powerful reflection of the story itself, wwx's rise and fall and the pains and joys he's going to face. cannot believe a 16 yr old wrote that. tho if it was anyone, it would be lwj wouldn't it

lwj is ALWAYS the one leaving without saying goodbye! no wonder wwx lost faith! in this context the gusu situation is a little urgent but like. he couldn't have left a note?

I've read a few fics where they sleep together in the cave and 1. nasty and 2. that would make him just leaving after so much worse 😭 I do not endorse the first time cave sex headcanon. I still don't think it would realistically happen until ep 43. too early here, and after sunshot wwx is terrified of anyone touching him because they'll be able to tell he's lost his core. so as fun as angsty sunshot hookups are, I simply cannot see it. tho that would technically also be a factor in ep43, I don't think wwx cares as much by then if lwj knows

aw shit good job jzx

jc is yelling at wwx AGAIN and complaining about not being recognized for his efforts. my dude he just woke up from a week-long fevered sleep chill out. also can jzx stop crowding him? it's like these idiots have no idea how to treat sick people ALSO. why did jc have to run for help? they had a ton of people there. couldn't they have removed the boulders themselves? huh, maybe the wens were hanging around and all they could do was flee

wwx and ljw have such main character energy that wen chao KNEW they stayed behind to kill the false xuanwu...okay

the shidis are learning archery and jyl is just...standing there. okay! couldn't have had her like, reading or doing crafts. nope. just standing there. probably looking out for her returning brothers but like. come on

I really love that jfm personally goes to teach the little disciples. he's gentle and encouraging, and provides a reassuring and secure presence, and I'm sure his students love him. despite his flaws I'm very fond of him esp here

oh wwx, fainting again. first of many

this detail is legit so freaking cute. and wwx's warm smile upon seeing it and knowing he's home 🥰 this supports my 'wwx is a hopeless romantic' agenda. I did laugh when the donghua gave one of them huge boobs but the wx subtext in that show was so potent I can't really accuse them of straightwashing. more evidence for him being bi is all

good for you, jc

see, here he's trying to make jc feel better by calling lwj boring and jc just - lashes out. wwx tries this entire scene to deflect praise onto jc and diminish his accomplishments and to support jc and jc just treats him like shit. no wonder their relationship is so terrible later if jc treats him like this just bc he's mad. can't he see that wwx has no more control over this situation than jc does? he's just the acceptable target in jc's eyes bc jc can't be mad at his parents!

like wen chao was trying to murder mm and string up her body to attract the monster which they were going to be expected to fight without weapons. what the fuck was he supposed to do? and he's not even the one who started the fight! AND if he hadn't stayed behind, how could everyone else has escaped? I didn't see jc offering any other solutions! jesus

it sucks that jfm is implying that jc doesn't have the right temperament to lead the clan, but he's literally the only person in authority to push back against jc's treatment of wwx this arc. and he's literally right that you shouldn't speak from anger. it's not what a leader should do, it's not fair or just, it doesn't allow you to speak wisely or carefully, and it's not something that will lead anywhere good. but after this arc all jc does is lead from anger and bitterness!

it's also so twisted that wwx feels responsible for this and tries to defend jc as 'he's just mad and venting' which he says is fine here but later in the story he bitterly complains about. like I know he loves and misses LP as an adult but this entire situation was absolutely noxious for everyone involved. ppl talk about jyl being parentified but wwx felt obligated to do the same for jc as well and put aside all his own needs and emotions for jc's as soon as this shit starts up. he acts like the undeserving servant as soon as he feels like he needs to I feel dizzy