#i did an exam today and i fucking panicked

[cult-of-the-eye]

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHF

[taesanrot]

[earrings] anton x reader | 1.5k words fwb!anton, secret relationship kinda, theyre in a bit of a limbo hehe syn. in which anton accidently leaves behind evidence of his stay last night note. first anton au hehe, also my first riize fic in a minute. hope u guys r enjoying this series so far :)

now playing: earrings by malcolm todd

"her love is your head, you lost your earrings in her bed"

anton was fucked, he was sure of that. it only took a glance at his reflection in the mirror to notice the jewelry he was missing, his usual earrings nowhere to be seen.

hand shooting up to feel his jewelry-less earlobes, he sighed and massaged his temples slowly. it was barely 10 in the morning, and he'd just trudged back to his place after being shooed out of your apartment.

you and anton were … complicated, for a lack of better terms. if the two of you were being honest, you'd say you were talking — although you definitely did a lot more than that when you were together.

anton didn't mind the slower pace; he wasn't itching to jump into anything super quickly, and he enjoyed getting to know you bit by bit.

what he struggled with a little more was you requesting to keep things between the two of you a secret. your friend circles were pretty much merged, and you weren't super keen on letting them in on your escapades with the taller boy just yet.

this meant quiet excuses away from larger functions, meeting up to walk to one of your places, and panicked morning afters.usually he had until at least noon to make his way back to his own place, but today you'd promised your friends that you'd study for a calculus exam with them.

anton groaned and whined when you'd shaken him awake at nine in the morning, saying something about some people coming over in an hour. he could barely hear over his exhaustion, eyes bleary as he looked at your face hovering above him.

you were trying to explain that his friends were on their way but all he could focus on was the strands of your soft hair falling in his face and how good you smelled. you eventually herded the poor boy out of your apartment, sending him on his way back home with a wet kiss to his cheek and a protein bar.

what neither of you seemed to remember were anton's earrings sitting in the small tray on your nightstand. they were the earrings he wore everywhere — gold links with his initials engraved on the front.

over time, anton made a habit of taking them off and placing them on your nightstand before getting in bed with you. the two of you learned the hard way that keeping them on in bed was not a good idea; the second time anton came over, your hair had gotten tangled in the metal and he almost lost an earlobe.

groggily pulling his phone out of his pocket, anton debated sending you a text. he typed it out before hesitating. what if someone looked at your phone screen and saw the text from him? how would you explain yourself? frustrated, anton shut his phone off and tossed it onto his bed.

god, anton hated sneaking around. but he liked you, more than he'd like to admit, and the last thing he wanted was go against what you asked of him. he just hoped that no one would notice the earrings before going to take a shower.

...

"morning." seunghan greeted you cheerfully as you answered the door. shotaro and sohee followed after, waving at you before walking into your apartment.

"sup, ning." as you shut the door you heard shotaro greet ningning, who had arrived 10 minutes earlier and was sitting in your living room.

eventually, the 5 of you migrated to your bedroom to study — you, ningning, and sohee were sprawled across the floor while shotaro and seunghan sat on your bed. your calculus notes were strewn about, having studied for what felt like days.

yawning and stretching his arms, seunghan sat up a bit, taking his attention off of the chapter you guys were reviewing. the rest of you were chattering with each other, reviewing a practice problem that was particularly confusing.

"ugh, what time is it?" he mumbled, leaning over to look at the clock on your nightstand. his phone was somewhere in your blankets and his notes, and he wasn't keen on looking for it.

before his eyes could drift to your alarm clock sitting on the nightstand, his attention was caught by something shiny glinting at his eyes.

your focus was pulled from your notes as you heard a soft gasp from the direction of your bed. looking up, your eyes widened at the sight in front of you.

seunghan had one of anton's earrings in his fingers, eyes squinting as he inspected it curiously.

"are these anton's?" he asked suspiciously, turning to look at you. his lips were curled slightly upwards, clearly amused by the discovery. your cheeks burned in embarrassment as you stumbled over your words, not knowing what to say.

"uh-" before you could deny it, sohee interjected.

"they totally are! he wears those like every day!" sohee exclaimed. shotaro and ningning also looked up from their work, both of them giggling at how obviously flustered you were.

"no they're not, those are mine." you mumbled unconvincingly, cringing at how bad your lie was.

"you're lying! i can see his initials on them!" seunghan was leaning across the bed to show the rest of your friends, all of them nodding in agreement.

"y/n why do you have those?" ningning's head tilted confusedly as she turned in your direction. after a beat of silence, a look of realization passed across shotaro's face.

"he was here, wasn't he?" he asked, the knowing smile on his face growing even bigger. you choked on your spit at his question, coughing lightly.

"what are you talking about?" sohee rolled his eyes and seunghan laughed loudly at your weak response.

"hyung's right, he totally was here!"

"did he spend the night?"

"oh my god y/n did you guys fuck?"

"ok, enough!" you spoke up, finally finding your voice. you gulped nervously before continuing. "yes, anton was here last night. we've been seeing each other for a while."

you let out the biggest breath, one you didn't even know you were holding as the words escaped your mouth. seunghan was the first one to break the silence following your announcement.

"i fucking knew it!" he exclaimed, taking you by surprise.

"huh?" you asked, perplexed.

"you know you guys aren't that subtle right?" ningning laughed as she spoke, ruffling your hair gently. "we all noticed you two leaving every function together."

"not to mention the way you basically eye fuck each other 24/7" sohee fake gagged, earning a punch in the arm from you.

…

after his whirlwind of a morning, anton decided to shower and take a well-deserved nap. unlike you, he did not have calculus test to study for, so after washing up he climbed into his covers and caught up on some much needed sleep.

a couple hours later, he finally woke up, groaning at the sun shining onto his face. it was late afternoon, and the light shined directly on his eyes, making going back to sleep nearly impossible. stretching his arms and legs, he rubbed his eyes and sat up groggily, grabbing his phone to check the time.

to his surprise, he was greeted by what seemed like 100 notifications from his messages. clicking them open, his eyes widened as the words came into focus.

it was in fact, your friends' group chat discussing the two of your and your not-so-secret arrangement. his eyes nearly popped out of his head reading the texts, still groggy from just waking up.

scrolling through the rest of his notifications quickly, he clicked on one with your name.

3 missed calls from y/n <3

[2:03 p.m.] y/n <3: r u asleep? call me when you see this

anton's fingers were practically shaking as he dialed your number, each ring making him wish the earth would open up and swallow him whole. his anxious thoughts were interrupted by your soft voice.

"hey."

"hi."

"um… did you see the groupchat?" anton winced. straight to the point, then.

"yeah… i'm sorry. i forgot them in a rush this morning" he felt like he was holding his breath waiting for you to answer, until he heard you chuckle on the other end of the line.

"anton, it's okay."

"what? but i thought-"

"it's about time we told them anyways, i'm tired of sneaking around." you laughed as you heard anton stutter on the line.

"plus, i like you, a lot."

"me too." he spoke softly, his heart nearly exploding in his chest. you smiled on the other end; his timidness never failed to make you feel giddy.

"good, cause it would've been really awkward if you didn't" you giggled, fiddling with the end of your shirt.

"so … does this mean i can take you on a real date now?"

"hmmm i guess that's fine" you answered teasingly. anton sighed dramatically on the other end, slapping a hand over his chest so loud that even you could hear it.

"in that case, what are you doing tonight?"

…

[bonus] the groupchat

[writersblog20]

High

Pedro Pascal x (curly hair) reader

Credits to the gif maker!

Summary: After a very shitty day, your neigbour, Pedro helps you to relax in every way possible

Warnings: Smoking weed, drinking alcohol, age-gap, sexual tension, reader gets picked up, smut, p in v, no condom (please do use a condom), mention of panic and anxiety (just one sentence or so)  oral Female receiving, squirting, daddy kink, dirty talk, pet names, Pedro being called: Papi, creampie, blowjob, soft sex, soft Pedro, overstimulation, aftercare and fluff

Words: 4K

High

You angrily placed your bag on your table when you arrived home. You were beyond pissed. You were finally done with some part of the exams for now but god did your professor test your patience today. This was your final exam and you’ve been preparing very good for it but you had to give a presentation with two of your teachers and your professor tried everything he could think off to dismantle your arguments and it worked. He got right underneath your skin, pissing you off to no end. There was no winning here for you. You did well though, very well even but you and that professor always buttheads together. So you came home, pissed out of your mind and couldn’t wait to smoke a joint and drink some wine or well, anything will do if it has alcohol in it. You quickly put your oversized hoodie on before going outside.

You let out a deep, frustrated sigh, got your joint and sat down on your porch as you put some music on. You lit the candles that were on the table of the porch. It started to get dark outside and you were more than ready to forget about this day as if it never even happened.

You inhaled the smoke and let it rest in your lungs. You started to feel the tension loosen up a bit until you heard the door open from your neighbour, the one and only Pedro Pascal. The daddy of the internet, the famous actor and your neighbor. You had a crush from the moment he moved in the house next to you. Yeah it wasn’t helping your daddy issues in any way here. You panicked a little because you didn’t want him to know that you smoked weed. He walked up to your porch with a bright smile that already made you forget about your day as you smiled back. You could say by now that you and Pedro were good friends.

“Hey neighbour!” he said with a smirk. You smiled but felt your heartrate pick up. He held up a tray of corona’s and a bottle of tequila. “Want to have a beer with me? Heard you had a bad day.” He told you, awaiting your answer. “Sure why not.” You smiled. “How do you know I have a bad day?” you asked him once you realized what he said. “Your mom texted me, asking if I could check up on you. Besides, it gave me a reason to see you again.” He told you with a teasing smirk which made you feel flustered. Pedro’s charm always worked on you and made your crush grow stronger.

He sat next to you. “Don’t worry, I won’t tell her that you smoke weed.” He told you casually and your face fell from being caught but you also felt the tension leave your body “As long as you share this one with me.” he told you with the same smirk and held up his own joint. You chuckled slightly and relaxed back into your chair. “Deal.” You giggled as Pedro handed you a shot of tequila and clinked it together “Salud” Pedro said, making you repeat him. You took the shot and groaned slightly when you finished it. Pedro opened the corona bottle and handed it to you and lit the joint after.

“So… Want to talk about it?” he asked you a bit more serious now as he handed you the joint. You took a big hit and held it in your lungs for a bit. “It was my teacher. He tried to fuck me over in every way he could find.” You told him and Pedro frowned, not liking what he heard. You told him about your day and let out a deep sigh when you were done. “He sounds like a first class dick.” Pedro told you, making you nod and stare in front of you while taking another hit before passing it to Pedro.

You were finally high and relaxed, not really wanting to talk about your day anymore. You started to get more comfortable in the chair. You looked at Pedro who already looked at you with his big brown eyes. You couldn’t look away as a rush of excitement went into your tummy. You see, you weren’t used to this weed and some have a… well an effect on you. You were horny let’s just keep it on that and the hot man sitting next to you, who you had a big crush on wasn’t helping this case at all. But you weren’t even sure if he ever thought of you in that way because of the age gap.

You looked in front of you again, feeling the heat creeping up. Some curls fell in front of your face, placing them back behind your ears only for them to jump back in place so you just blew them out of your face, not noticing how mesmerized Pedro looked at you right now. You heard the familiar tune of The Weeknd with Lost in the fire and got did the air around you two tighter.

Pedro got the shot glasses and poured another shot of tequila in it, giving it to you, looking directly into your eyes. You saw something in his eyes that you haven’t seen before, it was a lustful look yet adoringly. For some reason you started to feel very confident and gave him your best flirt look. A soft smirk with siren eyes as you leaned towards him a bit. “Salud.” You told him seductively. Pedro swallowed and looked away from you, shifting in his seat a bit, making you grin. “Salud.” He cleared his voice before he spoke and looked at you again as you took the shot. His eyes scanning every feature on your face, the way your curls were bouncing a bit while his heartrate started to pick up and his pants got a bit too tight for his liking.

You heard the familiar tune of the neighbourhood with daddy issues and all of your confidence flew out of the window while you felt your whole face heat up and a bit of embarrassment flowing through your body. You felt too embarrassed to put on a different song at this point. You tried to take a sneaky look at Pedro but was met with his brown eyes. He had a smirk, feeling that your confidence passed on to Pedro. His eyes were darker and filled with lust. You quickly looked away. You were wondering if this was the effect of the weed or if he was always just like that.

Flashes of that TikTok edit came to your mind with all of the sinful thoughts you had right now. You couldn’t shake the images out of your head. You would never tell him that you watched endlessly TikTok edits of your hot older neighbor that was at least 24 years older than you. “What’s going on in that pretty little head of yours sweetheart?” he asked you. You realized that you were deep, very deep in thought.

You played with the label that was placed on the corona bottle. You shook your head slightly. “Nothing important.” Pedro took a sip of his bottle, keeping eye contact with you and you felt the heat moving somewhere else as you squirmed just a bit in your chair. The silent that Pedro put in the conversation was unbearable as the air thickened around the two of you. “That’s good weed.” You commented with a slight chuckle. Pedro chuckled  “Yeah definitely” he looked at you and you couldn’t get enough of his eyes as you felt butterflies. “Oh I love this song! Dance with me!” Pedro’s excitement made you chuckle as he was already standing and held his hand out for you.

You giggled and took his large hand in yours and stood up. Pedro’s smile was contagious while his arm was around your waist and the other holding your hand. You felt like you were going to black out at this point. Your heart beating against your chest and it felt like your skin was on fire where he touched you. You grew very shy and couldn’t even look at him focusing on your shoes. “Hey, look at me, I’m right here.” He told you and placed a finger underneath your chin, looking up at him. His kind brown eyes connected with yours and you felt yourself go into a trance, all mushy. He smiled adoringly at you. “There you are.” He told you softly with a smile. “use your hips more baby.” he commented “I know you got it in you.” he told you with a slight wink.

You were officially a puddle in his hands right now. Did he know about your crush? Does he like you? He must if he says these things. And the pet name? Are you kidding me?!! You were completely lost in your head but yet still very much in the moment.

You knew how to use your hips but you didn’t feel that confident yet. “I’m afraid I need more tequila for that.” You giggled slightly, embarrassed while you looked at his chest, not able to make eye contact. Pedro let go off you with one hand, the other still tightly around your waist while he grabbed the bottle. He took a sip straight from the bottle while looking at you with a grin and passed it to you after he was done. You took some good gulps, hoping that it would work soon. Pedro probably mistaken your nervousness for uncomfortable and he let go immediately off you, never wanting to make you uncomfortable. You frowned a bit and looked at him confused. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. I thought…” He told you and shook his head not wanting to finish his sentence and was ready to take his stuff and leave but you stopped him by grabbing his arm and letting your other hand rest on his chest.

Pedro looked at your hand that was on his chest and back to you. “I didn’t feel uncomfortable… I felt nervous…..” you told him shyly. It was silent and you looked up at him, a bit of fear visible in your eyes and Pedro’s eyes soften at you, turning his body completely towards you. His fingers softly going over your cheek before placing a curl behind your ear (or tried at least). “Nervous for what?” Pedro almost whispered as the air started to tighten around you again while his hand covered yours on his chest, taking your hand in his. You tried to look down but his finger was underneath your chin again, pulling you up. “I…. I ehhh think you now why.” Pedro’s eyes held more lust again. “I want you to tell me.” his voice still holding that gentleness.

You looked up, goosebumps covering your body. You made eye contact with Pedro and felt a rush of confidence going over you and you quickly placed your lips again his. Pedro knew it was going to happen but was still a bit shocked. You sighed in the kiss and held his shirt in your fist. Pedro sighed in the kiss as well. His arms around your waist, pulling you against his body while his other hand found your cheek, cupping it while he deepened the kiss. His hand that was resting on your hip dug into your skin causing you to moan in the kiss.

Pedro walked backwards, his hand searching for the doorknob without breaking the kiss as you both stumbled inside your home. The kiss turned into a lot of lust while your hands went over his body as well. His hand found your ass and he tightly grabbed it and you jumped into his arms as a reaction. “Bedroom?” he broke from the kiss, his lips plump just like yours from the heated kiss. You pointed to the door while you started to attack his neck and your hands going through his soft hair.

He opened the door, letting out a shaky breath as you sucked a spot in his neck. He carefully laid you down on the bed, hanging above you. You were both out of breath while you held intense eye contact. You wanted to grab his face so you could kiss him again, it was addictive but Pedro pulled back, making you frown. “Are you sure?” he asked you, looking intently into your eyes. “Yes” was all you could say as you lips crashed against yours again.

Your hands were in his hair and your body started to move on its own, pushing your hips up so you could grind against him. You were completely intoxicated by the man above you. He attached his mouth to your neck while his hand went over the curves from your body. God this man did things to you that he had no idea of. Finally Pedro let his body go closer to you and you grinded against his still growing bulge in his pants. You whimpered slightly, you were so needy for this man and he knew it.

His hands going slowly over your clit over your pants, making you whimper. “Daddy please.” You murmured, whines evident in your voice as you begged him. He stopped sucking the sweet spot in your neck and you felt shame and panic growing in your stomach. “what did you call me Chiquita?” his eyes looked amused by your sentence. Shame and panic left your body but shyness got in their space. “Come on, repeat it baby. What did you call me?” he had a smirk on his face as you whispered out “Daddy.” Pedro’s eyes went darker again while he leaned towards your ear, his breath on your cheek. “That’s right. I’m your daddy.” You turned your head a bit so you could kiss him again.

His hand going where you needed him the most but still over your pants. “Please daddy please!” you pleaded. Pedro had a smug smile on his face, fully enjoying this. His hands roamed over your body again before his hand finally disappeared into your jeans. Your hips grinding against his hands. Pedro felt how wet you were and groaned into your ears and he could feel the reaction his moans had on you while you clenched on his finger. He smiled and softly bit your ear lobe while you whimpered. His hand coming from your jeans and showed you how wet you were. You felt the heat creeping up your cheeks. “Is this all for me Chiquita?” He whispered in your ear. Your brain was so mushy that all you could do was nod.

He smiled and kissed you passionately before Pedro took your jeans off gently. His lips on your leg slowly going up while his hand caressed your leg. When his mouth got attached to your thigh, he made eye contact with you, his hot breath against your thigh while he torturously slow went up to your core which was covered by your panty. His thumb over your panty, circling your clit. You moaned out and arched your back. You wanted him, needed him. “Tell me what you want baby girl.” He whispered his voice still laced with comfort and softness. You whimpered out almost beggingly “I want you, papi.” The moment called him: “papi” his grin grew like you’ve never seen before and he took off your panty.

He placed a delicate kiss on your clit while looking at you with mischief. You let your head fall on your pillow, moaning out. You were sure that you were dripping at this point. You felt his tongue over your whole pussy, giving it a good lick before sucking on your clit. Your hand went through his hair, holding it carefully while he held your other hand, letting it rest on your stomach while he intertwined his fingers with yours. He looked up at you with his big brown cow eyes while he ate you out was enough to make you cum.

Pedro noticed that you were close and slowly put his finger in your entrance and curled it, playing with your g-spot. You gasped out and squeezed his hand tightly, your other hand clutching on his hair, making it messy. “Daddy, I’m close, please don’t stop.” You begged him. Pedro let go of your hand and held your hips a bit up in a tight lock, making it unable for you to move while his eyes watched your expressions close and intensely. Before you knew it a rush of ecstasy washed over you as Pedro kept going, almost overstimulating you.

His grip loosened and Pedro hang above you again with an adoring look as you tried to catch your breath, looking mesmerized at Pedro, his hair all messy from your hand in it. You pulled him for a kiss. His hands roaming over your body again. You pushed Pedro softly on his back and sat on his lap, kissing him again. Pedro gently cupping your cheeks. Some of your curls fell onto his forehead and he pulled it back. You started to grind on his dick through his pants. Your orgasm left a wet spot on his pants while you kept grinding. Pedro held your hips tightly and let his head fall on your pillow, letting out a groan. “There you go mamacita. Keep doing that.” You felt your stomach flutter from the nickname. “I had some other things in mind.” You told him and got off from his lap.

Pedro looked at you while you undid his pants. “Let me take care of you now daddy.” You told him, knowing it got to him. He groaned when you pulled his cock out and didn’t waist a second before going down, slobbering all over. God this man was build differently and it made your mouth water and your pussy clench by the idea of him in you. It definitely was a sloppy blowjob and from the sounds Pedro made, he enjoyed it very much so. He cursed underneath his breath with gasps. His hand found your hair and held your curls in his hand, holding it away from your face. You made eye contact with Pedro and he let out a moan and let his head fall on the pillow from the amount of pleasure that you were giving him.

“Fuck…., Baby if you keep doing that I’m going to cum.” He told you and got you off from him, carefully laying you on your back again and Pedro above you. He kissed you passionately like he had never done before, taking your breath away as you both moaned in the kiss. “I need you Papi, please, please.” Your eyes begged him and Pedro had to control himself so he wouldn’t cum by just your begging already. “God you are something else baby girl.” You crashed your lips against his again.

You took his sweater off and he took your oversized hoodie off as well, softly undoing your bra and the moment you were completely naked in front of him, he looked mesmerized at you with a smile before laying above you again and pulling you back in a passionate kiss. Your hand slowly going over his chest, belly and towards his cock. You held his cock in your hands and Pedro gasped slightly when you guided it to your entrance. Pedro stopped kissing you while you guided him into your entrance. His thumb softly rubbing your cheek for comfort. You put the tip in and you were dripping on the sheets when you pushed him in slowly before Pedro took over.

You whimpered, your eyes tightly shut from the pain and pleasure. He was stretching you out but he did it slowly while he groaned out as well. When he was fully in he waited so you could get used to his size. “Look at me mama.” He told you and you opened your eyes carefully. You saw Pedro looking at you with all the love radiating from his eyes. “You’re going to be okay. If it hurts, you tell me okay?” you nodded and Pedro kissed your forehead, making you feel all fuzzy and clingy. “Please daddy, I want to feel you. I want you close.” You begged and Pedro slowly started to move while he kept looking at you to see if you were okay.

His cock was coated by your juices, making him moan out. You put your arms around his shoulder, pulling him closer to your body. You craved the skin to skin contact. He sat up with you still hanging on him as a koala. He sat up straight, his cock deep buried inside of you. “Ride me baby, show daddy what you can do.” He told you, your arms still wrapped around his shoulders while you started to grind on his dick. His hands on your hips, pushing you deeper on his cock. You started to grind faster, feeling the euphoric feeling coming closer. “Papi…” you whispered out, followed by moans as you clenched on his dick. Pedro placed his arms tightly around you, pushing your chest against his in a hug. You started to shake on his cock, Pedro moaning out as a reaction while you clenched on his cock. “There you go princesa” Pedro grumbled out.

He laid down on his back, you still on top of him. You kept riding him while he took in every part of your body. “My god, your angelic.” He told you and pulled you down as he cupped your cheeks and kissed you deeply before putting his arms around you again and started to pound you out. You gasped at the sudden speed and the way it hit your g-spot perfect. Pedro cursed underneath his breath when he felt your juices flowing out of you. You were squirting before you could even realize that it happened. Pedro moaned and tried to catch his breath, feeling you shake above him.

You collapsed on his chest and kissed him while you were still out of breath. His hair sticking to his forehead from sweat and you brushed them gently out of the way while

Pedro’s eyes followed you, completely intoxicated by you. His hands caressing your waist and curves. Pedro moved his hand to the back of your neck and pushed you down so he could kiss you. You heard Pedro moan in this kiss which caused you to clench around his dick again. Pedro grumbled and pushed you softly over so he could fuck you on your back.

His eyes were a bit darker, connected with yours as he pushed his cock back into you, causing you to gasp. Pedro held your legs as he pounded into you. Pedro was close to while you chased your own orgasm again. “Come in me, please come in me, daddy” Pedro grumbled out and laid on top of you, holding you close. The way he moaned in your ear, pounded you out and held you so gentle at the same time made you cum in no time again. “That’s it baby, come on papi’s dick. Clench on my cock Chiquita” You felt his own cum shooting deep inside of you. Pedro cursed in between grumbles, getting down from his own high. His head buried between your neck and shoulder until he calmed down and let it rest on your shoulder while you went with your hands through his hair, trying to catch your own breath.

Pedro rolled on his back, pulling you with him so he could hug you. You went with your fingertips over his chest, Pedro kissing your head and massaging your scalp. “So I was right? You really do have a crush on me.” Pedro said chuckling as you pushed him away as a joke and rolled your eyes but your smile said enough. Pedro pulled you back into his chest while laughing. “I’m sorry baby, I’m sorry. If it helps, I have a crush too….” Pedro whispered the last part in your ear, making you look at him. You both just watched each other for moment until you both chuckled. “Can you please stay tonight? I don’t want to be alone right now.” you told him and Pedro smiled lovingly at you. “I’ll stay as long as you want and need me to, princesa” you smiled from all the butterflies in your stomach.

Pedro held you tighter and you let him, craving his comfort. “Let’s stay here for a bit longer.” He told you, making you look up and kiss him gently. After a gentle and loving make-out session, both clinging to each other as you closed your eyes, happy that the shitty day didn’t end shitty

[heart2beom]

open the door, mr. choi!

synopsis: going up to yeonjun's dorm, the man you believe to be a complete tool, and asking to use his shower isn't very fun.

genre: one sided enemies to lovers, fluff, angst??

pairing: yeonjun x f!reader

warning: very unrealistic writing of living on campus (i'm manifesting here..), a curse word here and there

author notes: this is so incredibly short but i like writing banter so..lol this really is just banter. reblogging is appreciated!

Transferring to a different college mid semester for better opportunities proved to be that mistake. The mistake you realize is going to be hard to top, the biggest one you've made in your entire life.

In addition to losing daily contact with your friends, you were in a complete foreign city, practically stranded. You had zero relationship with your professors, there were completely different material you had to learn to pass exams, and you had no time to make any friends. even after you decided to go through the on-campus housing route, You were only on friendly speaking terms with your roommate.

You wished you reviewed the dormitories, but you hadn't which then cost you to learn that the girls dormitory had constant complaints about water supply; it was either the sink, the toilet, or the shower — it would just decide to stop working.

Thankfully, the time you've spent living with your roommate, you only experienced one — the sink. There were problems with it practically every other day, ten times more constant than everybody else. Which caused you to naively believe it canceled out all the other occuring problems everyone else had.

So, imagine your surprise when you walk in under the shower head, butt naked, with not one drop coming out on your hair.

"Yunjin!" you yell out, panicking as you adjust the diverter still with no sign of water. "Yunjin is the water out!?"

You sigh when you can't hear a response through the door, and opted to step out the shower, and carefully walk towards the door. You slightly open it, making sure to only poke your head out as your eyes wandered around the dorm.

Great, there's no sign of her.

When you get dressed again, you throw yourself on your bed, staring at the time on your phone. 8:39PM.

Your roommate had helped you out with getting a blind date, in hopes of "putting yourself out there". Though at the time you didn't meet her with much excitement, pretending to despise the idea—Currently, you were practically a few seconds away from pulling out your hair at the thought of missing it.

For god sake, you haven't been on a date since, what, two years? And even worse, when you finally got a chance, you weren't ditching the date on your own accord, but because you couldn't shower!

"I'm gonna fucking sue them!" you shout, directing your pit of rage at your ceiling. Though, right after, you bury your face in your pillow, groaning like a little child, knowing that no matter how many complaints you submit, there would be zero response. So, at the moment, it felt like the best thing to do was give up.

Give up and ...reschedule.

No, you can't—you won't. You have to go on the date—today. An adrenaline-like surge of determination motivates you to shoot up from your bed, and quickly head to your bathroom again. You will go on this date, you owe it to Yunjin—and also, to yourself.

When you look at the counter, you immediately spot the magic wand practically ogling at you, begging you to use it. Your deodorant.

What other option did you have? When you pick up the deodorant stick, you shut your eyes, praying that the combination between deodorant and perfume could manage to make you smell good enough. You exhale, the gross thought making it hard for you to even lift your shirt.

You hear a ping of your phone, quickly opening your eyes, dropping your hand, which in turn also gets your hand off the piece of fabric you were holding.

When you look at the notification, you exhaustedly exhale, your shoulders dropping. It wasn't surprising to see it was him. Yeonjun—the guy you've been working on a project with for the past few months.

And also, the guy you've been trying to avoid ever since you got assigned the project. He was practically a mosquito, buzzing near your ears every waking moment of the day. It was easier for him when he got your number, as per your professor's request. According to her, it would be easier for you two to communicate with each other's contact numbers.

But you begged to differ, especially after these tortuous days of having your phone go off randomly throughout the day. All it did was tear away your focus from more important matters.

You opt to ignore the text, like you always do— and focus on your preparation for your date. That is, until a light bulb lights up above your head, halting your movement, as you furrow your brows in thought.

The boy's dormitory never had an issue with water, it was a usual complaint you'd overhear girls around you say in your morning classes. Their issue was odor. Which you would bet a few cents that that was specifically the consequence of the herd of men living in one space, but you digress.

Sure, you aren't very fond of the idea to go up to the man you find pretty repulsive—in terms of personality, repulsive. He was the walking definition of a douche, but you just got a date, in two years! Who knows the next time you'll get the golden opportunity again? So, you grab your towel and head out the bathroom.

You only hope that your lack of answering back texts wouldn't backfire on you.

Though it took him a few knocks, Yeonjun finally opens his door. His jaw slacks a little and brows raised, clearly taken back by your sudden visit. You wait for him to say something—or rather, you take the time to study his figure for a good second; your eyes instinctually taking in how...good he looks. His dyed hair subtly spiking his eyes, his lips looking a little more pink than usual, and the flowy dress shirt being down two button, exposing his chest—

"Y/N checking out Yeonjun part, what, a hundred?" he stupidly grins, leaning on his door frame with his arms crossed.

"Part zero." you deadpan, he was back to getting on your nerves.

"Right..." he purses his lip, which earns an audible scoff from you, his confidence was astoundingly high. Normally, you'd think it was a praiseworthy trait, confident people are cool, but Yeonjun was something else.

"Okay—look, I have no time to waste. I need your help." you say, cutting to the chase.

"Clearly..." Yeonjun says, his gaze falling to the towel hanging on one arm, and a plastic bag tight in your hand.

"First, sorry for coming here so unexpectedly—"

"Hold on," he raises up a hand to stop you, which is an annoying thing he's been doing to you lately. "Did you just apologize? To me?" he then puts a hand on his heart, pouting like a child.

When you try to open your mouth again, his finger was on your lips in attempt to shut you up — he was getting dangerously confident. You glare at him, which sends the message loud and clear as he drops his hand immediately.

"Look, if you're here for the project, I can't. I actually have a bedtime I have to follow through."

You furrow your eyebrows in disbelief. "A bedtime? What are you? Twelve?"

He clicks his tongue, shaking his head in disapproval. "Damn it Y/N, this was the part where you were supposed to prove to me that you're worthy of me letting you in my dorm."

"I'm not here for the project, Yeonjun." you sigh, your energy drained from all his talking.

"Then what? It's like—" he raises his wrist to take a look at his watch. And to your dismay, his smug smile prepares you for some more teasing. "My, my, my. Coming to my dorm at nine? So I see it you changed your mind about, you know..." he puckers his lips in attempt to make smooching noises, which only earned a judgemental stare from your side.

"We're never going to have sex—ugh, I just came to use your shower, the one at my dorm stopped working." you've learned to stop yourself from engaging with his antics, it only cost you more social battery after all.

"Ah." he says, biting his lip as he appears to think more of your request. "I'm sorry, can't." he concludes.

"Huh? Why?" you ask then immediately groan at a thought, "God, do you have a girl naked in there?"

"You don't realize it sometimes Y/N, but you are a slut shamer."

You deadpan, letting out a long sigh. "Are you calling yourself a slut?"

"Frankly, for your information, I don't have a girl in there. She actually left a few minutes ago." he says ignoring your question, though he couldn't be happier from the annoyed reaction he got out of you— which he was quick to love and appreciate the more he got it.

You roll your eyes, "So, why can't you?"

"Glad you asked," he says, reaching in his pockets to dig out something. He faces his phone to you, your messages open, only blue texts being on the screen. "You've been ghosting me for like, two weeks."

So your lack of replying back is biting you in the ass.

You didn't have time, dropping the plastic bag full of your date clothes, reaching out to your pocket to get your phone.

You quickly type up an 'okay' without reading the text, and hit send. When you hear the sound of a notification from his phone, you put up a tight lipped smile as you shove your phone in your pockets, picking up your clothes and pushing yourself in his dorm.

Yeonjun broke into a smile you don't catch, as he looks back to you. "Breaking and entering is a felony Y/N!" he yells out.

You ignore him, your attention more focused on how weirdly neat his place was. Was he a fast cleaner? Tidying up the place this fast after sex?

You guessed that was what a long duration of experience gives you — the ability to clean up in minutes. But then you noticed a computer open, with the desk it's on being surrounded with crumbled paper.

Odd.

You hear the door shut, guessing it was Yeonjun, which snaps you out of your thoughts as you immediately head to the bathroom. If you stayed a second later, there was a 50% chance he would've stopped you to ask questions.

When you enter the bathroom, and lock the door behind you, you're pleasantly caught by surprise.

The smell—the smell wasn't foul. You hate to admit, in the back of your mind, you'd always have this image of Yeonjun—a player who was gross.

You don't exactly know why you held onto it for so long since there were multiple, multiple times you got close enough, that your nose could pick up his cologne—it smelled really good, not too strong, just enough.

And when you stand there in his bathroom, weirdly finding yourself inhaling the scent of the air—it smelled pretty fucking good.

A loud knock on the door your back is leaning on startles you, making you jump. "Hey, hurry up! I'm giving you fifteen minutes."

Fifteen minutes? What a psycho.

You shake your head at your own ungratefulness—he was letting you borrow his shower, which you genuinely appreciated, so you undressed quickly in hopes of showering forty minutes max.

You didn't pick up your hair brush with you, so consequently you were spending a great deal of time untangling your hair with your towel—which wasn't very..effecitve.

You already changed, obviously, but your makeup was undone. Just lipgloss was all you had time to do, you thought in your head, disappointed.

Not to forget—Yeonjun has been talking to you through the door the moment you shut the running water—not proving the mosquito reincarnation theories you've been holding onto, to be wrong. He was driving you very close to the edge of insanity.

"You're taking so long." he whines for the hundredth time. "I have to show you something."

You groan, walking towards the door. You were clothed now anyway, if opening the door would finally fix Yeonjun's mouth being a broken record, you would happily do it.

He shuffles away from the door when you push it open, flustered as he clears his throat.

Was he leaning on the door?

"What do you want?"

You think you see his eyes scanning your outfit for a second, a hint of confusion overtaking his expression but he turns away to walk towards the computer—the one that was previously surrounded with balled up paper, so you ignore it. "You look hot but I'll decide to ignore that. I have to show you something."

You exhale, your hair still pretty untamed. "Alright, I don't have that much time though."

He let himself fall on his spinning office chair, as he gestures his hand for you to sit at the edge of his bed.

You clear your throat, waiting for him to stop stalling through his spinning.

And he does.

"Okay." he exhaled, a little shakily. Which was weird. "So, remember the text you sent okay too?"

"Yeonjun...that just happened. Like an hour ago."

"Yep, yeah. Cool, cool, cool." he repeats, opting to spin once more. You raise an eyebrow, is he trolling you?

"I didn't like—you know, read the text. I mean, I can."

"You didn't read it? You should. Actually—nope, no. You shouldn't. You should. Yeah, you should."

You knit your eyebrows together at his odd speaking patterns. Reaching for your phone, you click on the message icon—until a number pops up, calling you.

All of a sudden, you get nervous. Your hand getting all clammy as you swiped right on the call.

"Hi." you breath out, biting your lip in eagerness to hear your date's voice.

Yeonjun only watches you, cocking his head at the sudden mood change. No—he was tilting his head because of all of that. Your dress, the matching bag, your lipgloss.

He furrows his brows, still watching you stutter on the phone, and practically making a fool of yourself with the way you were stupidly, prettily smiling ear to ear.

You never did that with him. Okay, sure, he likes seeing you roll your eyes or scoff at his antics— it brings him pure joy! But god, thinking now, he would appreciate it a hundred times more if your reaction to him was a smile—that smile instead. Or a laugh. Or a hug, maybe a kiss—

Time didn't wait for anyone—connecting the dots unfortunately only happened the moment you hung up the phone.

"Sorry, that was my date. I really have to go. What do you want to show me?"

"Um—uh...gross!"

You scrunch up your face, taken aback. "What?"

"You—you have, like, spinach stuck between your teeth."

Your eyes widen in shock immediately getting off the bed, but then you halt, turning to look at Yeonjun. "But I didn't eat spinach today. Or yesterday." you mumble.

"Well, I'm sorry I'm not a professional chef that can tell what that nasty piece of green leaf is in between your teeth."

"God, is it that bad?" you ask in horror, not waiting for his reply as you burst into the bathroom.

Meanwhile as you check your teeth in the mirror, Yeonjun immediately grabs the phone you left on his bed, which was still open—letting him breath in relief.

He immediately went on to his name on your phone to open the messages between you two—it was ridiculous but a smile still tugged on his lips for a split second when he noticed his contact name was the one he typed in a few months ago, still 'hottest man alive'—he took it a sign you didn't disagree... or it could be that you were too lazy to change it.

But he immediately shook his head out of the thought — doing his job of deleting the message that you sent an okay to.

"What the fuck are you doing?" you say with wide eyes, snatching your phone away from the boys hand.

"Just checking the time." he says with an awkward smile, a little startled of your sudden presence.

"On my phone? You literally have a watch." you say, your tone laced with confusion. Which signaled Yeonjun to shoot up from his bed, pushing you out towards the door—there was no way out of this but to push you out, and hopefully the date being horrible enough for you to forget about confronting him about this tomorrow. And the day after tomorrow. Preferably, for the rest of his life on Earth.

"Time for you to leave!" he yells, finally getting you out of his dorm, and now out in the hallway.

Before you could say anything—for example, reminding him that 90% of the stuff you brought was still in the bathroom—he slammed the door right in your face.

When you recollect your shock, you scoff, your annoyance through the roof.

What was he looking at in your phone?

You open it, hoping to find the answer.

But you're only confused as you only see your chat with Yeonjun open.

And even more confused when the text length of the message before your 'okay' was way shorter than what you remember.

Meanwhile, Yeonjun was sitting on his desk chair, biting his lip as he hesitantly hit the delete button on the music project he's been working on.

ending a/n: i think i'm allergic to ending a fic with the two pairings getting together cz tell me why this was deadass just enemies to ????? T_T

[hanckocks-dagger]

Red Nightgown Blues

masterlist

John Hancock x afab!reader

Description: After a medical emergency, you realize the only thing you really need is Hancock by your side.

Fill for a truly ancient LiveJournal prompt from the Fallout Kink Meme

Tags: Established relationship, hurt/comfort, angst, reader is SoSu, no y/n

Warnings: Miscarriage, blood, medical exams/procedures, worries about terminal illness. (I don't go into much detail and none of it is all that explicit, but please skip out on this one if you feel it would be triggering to you <3 )

Word count: 3.1K

Crossposted on my ao3

The bed was wet. Not in a damp, sweaty naked bodies way, but like someone had dumped an entire bucket of water onto your legs. Distantly, you thought back to your dreams, wondering if you'd gotten too high last night and managed to wet the bed. Ugh. Not the most respectable thing for the general of the Minutemen, but god knows you'd pulled Hancock out of enough puddles of his own vomit for it to be your turn.

Speaking of. You twisted in the bed to check the other side of the bed, wincing when your stomach cramped at the movement, muscles sore beyond belief. What the fuck?

The bed was empty, Hancock's hat and coat missing from where he'd tossed them the night before. He didn't tend to wake up before you, but maybe Fahrenheit had dragged him off for some mayoring business.

The front of your shirt and your underwear were uncomfortably sticky, glued to your skin, so you decided it would be best to rip the band-aid off, go strip the sheets and wallow in embarrassment for a while. You raised the sheets slowly, expecting to find a damp spot on the bed, maybe some moisture on the skin, but paled at the sight that greeted you. Blood. Way, way too much blood.

You inhaled shakily, pulling yourself into a sitting position, sending another stab of pain through your abdomen as you did. You shoved the sheets to the side, taking in the wet puddle of blood in the bed, more crusted onto your thighs, your underwear unrecognizable, dyed red.

"Shit," You whimpered, mind already reeling. God, you wished John hadn't left, his disposition much less prone to panic than you were, wanted him to be your voice of reason as your mind spun with possibilities. Was it the sex? You were usually pretty careful, taking your RadX first and finishing off with RadAway. Hell, you couldn't even name the last time he'd finished inside of you. But... maybe your body was tired of it, rebelling. Or maybe you'd had internal bleeding from your last fight, but didn't that usually show up in your vomit?

You rose to your feet, legs shaky, and stripped the bed, using a corner of the sheet to wipe off your thighs, wincing as the blood smeared over your skin. It didn't exactly look fresh, it wasn't like someone had stabbed you in the middle of the night, it looked more like the darker, browner color of your period, but this was... way too much blood.

You balled up the sheets in your hands, leaving them on the floor as you struggled to get your pants on. You needed a doctor. Amari was fine for patching up scrapes, and had even reattached some of Hancock's fingers when they got bitten off by a rabid dog once, but she specialized in brains, not whatever this was.

You pulled a piece of paper from the desk, scribbling out a quick explanation to John so he wouldn't be liable to lose his mind when he couldn't find you skulking around.

Popped over to Diamond City for the day, back before dark <3

On a normal day you would've tracked him down, gotten him to kiss you stupid before letting you leave, but you were shaking, pale and very clearly panicking, and you didn't want him to worry, or insist on following you. You weren't sure you had it in you to keep him from threatening to bite whoever badmouthed him, not today.

You pulled on your shirt, ignoring the way your blood covered hands left streaks on the fabric, shouldered your gun and tucked some caps into your pockets. If you moved slowly, kept out of sight and didn't run into any problems on the way, the walk shouldn't be more than an hour.

Downtown Boston was light and quiet, lit by noon sun bright enough that you wished you could've had John's hat to shade your eyes. Your fingers itched to have his hand to hold, and your fraying nerves had you wishing for his voice to calm you. Your ideas were spinning rapidly out of control: This was cancer, or some other equally incurable illness. You were dying. How could you possibly go home and face John to have to tell him that your time together was coming to an end, that you were abandoning him?

You steadied yourself on a rusted mailbox, forcing a few deep breaths before you lost your mind completely. You'd already passed the first sign for Diamond City, it was just a couple of blocks and you'd be inside the city walls. You’d go talk to Doctor Sun, end your panic. No matter the outcome, knowing was better than this pointless speculation.

You were more lightheaded than you were comfortable being, but kept walking, regretting not having brought water with you in your hurry to get out without Hancock spotting you. You regretted not going to him, either. Sure, you were strong, capable, got through more than most, but wasn’t this the sort of thing partners were for? Shouldering the heavy burdens with you, providing comfort. 

As the gates of Diamond City approached, you considered turning around, trekking back and just falling into his arms, but you knew you wouldn’t be able to make the journey twice in one day, not the way your vision was starting to swim. So, instead, you walked into the gates alone, emerging into the bustling Diamond City, and headed towards the Doctor’s. 

Doctor Sun frowned as you whispered your symptoms to him, putting down his clipboard when you spoke of the cramps in your abdomen, quickly ushering you inside his house.

"Are you sexually active?"

You bit your lip, pausing to consider how to answer. Would he deny you medical service if you admitted to shacking up with a Ghoul? Sure, he was a doctor, but Diamond City's distrust of Ghouls had deep roots. You weren't willing to risk it, kept it to a clipped, "Yes."

He nodded, instructing you to pull your pants down and lie down on the table. You hesitated, the memory of the mess with Doc Crocker fresh in your mind. Still, your gun was leant against the table, and though Doctor Sun wasn't a small guy, you spent your time flitting about the wastes. If the worst happened, you’d be able to fight him off.

The inspection was quick, invasive and painful. Doctor Sun was professional the whole way through, and pointedly did not look at you as you redressed, tears stinging at your eyes.

"I'm sorry to say, but your cervix is dilated, indicating a miscarriage."

You blinked at him, having been bracing for news of your inevitable death. You were pregnant?

"But–" You cut yourself off. Couldn't tell him that that would be impossible. "That's... that's it? It's not... uterine cancer? Or like... cysts on the ovaries or something? A miscarriage?"

"All indications point to that, yes. Otherwise, you seem healthy. Again, I'm very sorry."

The shock of the news left you numb to anything else, no feelings attached to the thing itself. "Uhm, okay. Thank you. Should I... do anything?"

"Well, you've probably lost a substantial amount of blood, so I'm going to administer a blood pack. You should try to keep your diet rich in iron for the next few days, and spend the day resting."

"Thank you," You said blankly, as the doctor went about searching for blood, gave you a glass of water, and took his payment.

When he told you it was safe to leave, you stepped into the market in a daze. How would you have gotten pregnant? Ghouls were sterile, it was one of the few facts that almost everyone seemed to know about them.

You bought some meat, which you ate without tasting it, then walked over to Sheng's for some cold water. The boy looked at you strangely as you passed over the caps, but kept his mouth shut.

The thought briefly crossed your mind that it could have been someone else, as you wracked your mind for any missing memories, any nights with strangers, but besides that time last month when you'd gone with John up to Tenpines to help with some electrical failure, there was nothing. He'd been by your side every night and almost every day.

Again, you felt the sting of tears, confusion overwhelming you. You thought about renting a room to get some privacy, but you desperately wanted company, someone to pull you out of your thoughts. You thought about calling on Nick, but somehow it didn't feel right, so you ended up at Publick Occurrences, saying hi to a distracted Nat before sneaking in through the door.

Piper's house was calm, warm, smelled of ink and dusty books. Piper herself was upstairs, calling down a hello as you entered. "I'm working on an article, come up and keep me company!"

You collapsed onto her bed, watching as she typed at her terminal, hunched over with the world's worst posture, occasionally mumbling to herself as she picked through notes in her little notepad.

"I just had a misscarriage." The words tumbled out without permission, needing to exist out in the open, to be shared with someone.

Piper froze, hands hovering above the keys, before she spun in her seat, eyes wide.

"What?"

You nodded, surprised to find tears dripping down your face.

"Who's... was it?" Her words were indelicate, wincing to herself as she spoke.

"John's."

"But..."

"I know," You used the back of your hand to wipe away the wetness on your cheeks, sniffling. "But I haven't been with anyone else. And Doctor Sun seemed pretty sure."

Piper leant over to pat you on the shoulder, and you caught her hand, giving it a soft squeeze.

"D'you mind if I crash here tonight? He told me to take it easy today, so I probably shouldn't walk back."

"Yeah, of course, Blue. Anything you need."

It wasn't far after dusk when the guilt set in, and you found yourself wishing for a functional telephone. Hancock knew you could take care of yourself, but he also worried for you more than just about anything in the world. If you told him you were feeling depressed while dumping his whole stash of drugs out the window, you were reasonably sure he'd ask after you first. Or, at least very quickly afterwards. 

After keeping you company for a couple of peaceful hours, Piper vanished to go get some dinner for the three of you, leaving you to try to occupy yourself with one of her ancient novels.

Still, you didn't get to wallow very long, a crash from downstairs with the panicked call of your name drew your eyes from the book you'd been reading, a screeching Nat appearing in the stairway, single-handedly holding back a panicked Hancock with her fists raised.

"I told you, you can't come in here, Ghoul!"

"It's alright, Nat," You said, clambering off the bed to reach them. Your steps were slow, the pain in your stomach having died down from occasional cramps to a constant low ache. The second you were down from the stairs, John was pulling you into his arms, peppering your face with kisses, "Where the fuck did you go? What happened? I was–" He caught himself, jaw tensing as he pulled back to stare at you, eyes crinkled in concern. "Are you okay?" He asked, finally, and you didn't miss the quiver in his voice.

"I'm fine," You said, and were surprised to find that it was the truth. Clutched in his arms, the world felt right again, "C'mon, let's go talk in private."

Nat was still staring at John like she planned on kicking his ass, and with as wiry as he was, you weren't totally sure she couldn't. You guided him gently up the stairs, through the room and out onto the roof access. You didn't mind the rowdy nature of Goodneighbor nights, drunken laughter, fistfights and arguments, but there was something about the calm of Diamond City evenings that you appreciated just as much. There were even crickets in the grass, chirping their hearts away over the gentle murmur of people at the bars, bots in the markets.

You led Hancock towards the couch Piper had forced you to help her drag up here some months ago, watching him collapse with unusual gravity onto the cushions, half pulling you onto his chest with him. You relished the warmth of him, the familiar softness of his coat, the ever present smell of cigarettes and Jet that clung to his skin.

"What happened, love?"

You hadn't actually given all that much thought to how you would explain yourself, simply appreciating the relief of not having to tell him you were dying. After some thought, though, you figured the simple truth would be best.

"I came to see the doctor." His grip tightened, already inhaling to ask what had happened, what was wrong, but you cut him off. "I woke up covered in blood. I got scared, figured it would be best to go in on my own and see what was wrong right away." John's fingers found your hand, clutching it tight, and you squeezed him right back.

"I uhm–" God, why was it so hard now? "I had a miscarriage."

The hand you were holding tensed, minutely, then pulled away, John shifting away from your body so he could turn his face to look you in the eyes. He looked... miserable.

"Are–" He had to clear his throat, voice even more gravelly than usual, "Are you okay?"

You nodded, bunching your hands in your shirt, desperate to hold something, "Yeah, the doctor said I should be fine. Just some rest, he gave me some blood."

"And who's– who's the father?" The words seemed to pain him, eyes slipping away from yours to look up at the sky, stars reflected in his eyes. He looked like he was about to cry.

"John," You breathed, hands sliding over to take his hands again, squeezing hard so he couldn't pull away, "You are. Of course you are. I wouldn't– I haven't cheated."

His eyes flickered downwards, just for a moment, but you hoped he could sense the earnestness in your expression.

"John," You repeated, firmly, "I love you. No one else. Hell, we've been attached at the hip the last two months, when would I have even had the chance to run off and get knocked up?"

He considered this, Adam's apple bobbing, "Yes, but, baby, you know I'm sterile, right?"

"I know. I don't–" You had to pause, swallow a lump in your throat, "I don't get it, but that's probably why I miscarried, anyway. Just a– a fluke."

"A fluke," He repeated, then his chest heaved, and suddenly he was curling into you, face buried in your shoulder, arms wrapped around you as he sobbed into your skin. You'd never seen him cry before.

You wrapped your arms around him, only taking a moment to pluck his hat off and toss it to the side, so you could tuck a hand around the back of his head, hold him closer. He had to trust you on this, seeing as you were the only one who could reasonably know if you'd actually slept with anyone else, and even then, you hadn't been completely sure at first.

You kissed the top of his head, whatever skin you could reach, as his hands clutched at the back of your shirt, almost like he expected you to vanish if he let go. You held him back just as tight. Your relationship wasn't new, by this point, but it hadn't been so long that it was unreasonable to assume it wouldn't last the rest of your lives. But now, you felt something shift, maybe just in you, maybe in this thing between the two of you. You loved him and you didn't want to lose him, not for anything, not even a baby.

Eventually, his sobs faded, only the occasional tear spilling onto your skin. His grip loosened, second by second, until he righted himself, cleared his throat, put his hat back on his head. You reached out for him again, though, cupping his face in his hands, thumbs brushing away the tears on his cheeks. You gave him a weak little smile, not sure exactly what was going through his head. Sometimes, his mind worked a little too fast for you to follow, thoughts too warped by his own insecurities for you to understand.

"What are you thinking?" You whispered, fingers still ghosting over his cheeks.

"Are you– Would you have wanted to keep it?"

You thought about it. Raised the way you were, a family was considered the end goal of a relationship, along with marriage and all that other nonsense.

"No," You decided on, "Not right now, anyway. I'm still getting to know this world, still finding my purpose in it."

He nodded into your palms, turning to press a kiss to the inside of one of them. It sent a wave of soft heat through you, the gesture so achingly intimate.

"What about you?" You asked, realizing that it wasn't something the two of you had ever really addressed. By the time you'd started sleeping together, you'd already known that ghouls were infertile, and had just figured that was that, no need to worry about any accidental pregnancies. Of course, he still pulled out a majority of the time, seeing as it burned like a motherfucker, still setting off the Geiger counter on your pip-boy, but it was just one less thing to worry about.

"I'm not..." He trailed off, "I didn't think it was an option. Just sort of put it out of my mind."

You nodded, leaning over to press a gentle kiss to his lips.

"Well, if we ever get to that point, we'll deal with it then, okay?"

"Yeah, okay."

You pressed your forehead to his, shutting your eyes, "I'm sorry for not coming for you. I regretted it the second I was gone. Just got scared."

The brush of lips over yours, "I'm always here for you, love, no matter what it is."

"I know." You did, believed it with every fiber of your being. Knew that no matter what, in Goodneighbor or out in the wasteland, John had your back.

"Now, come on, it's getting cold," You opened your eyes, stood up, pulling him up with you, "Let's go bully Nick into lending us his bed for the night, it's not like he's using it."

Hancock grinned, "Lead the way."

Notes: Bit heavier than my usual stuff, but I was just scrolling though the kink meme prompts and this just popped fully formed into my head... I am always a sucker for some good hurt/comfort tho. And this is my first fic where Hancock cries! Usually I'm more masochistic towards my blorbos than that....

[starrytowonder]

The way that manifestation is literally saving my ass on the daily LMFAO 😭😭

Seriously!

I've been having so much fun recently just manifesting stuff to make my life easier lol? I wanted to share some cool things I manifested super recently.

1 - Not needing a lockdown browser when taking a college exam: so I was scheduled to take an exam on my laptop/iPad for my class and the thing is, I have a Chromebook laptop. I didn't want to have to go to the campus library to take the tes because my Chromebook didn't support the lockdown browser AND my setting up the lockdown browser app on the iPad was sketchy and frustrating as hell. So before the test was announced I affirmed like a few times and visualized my teacher saying smth like "you won't need the lockdown browser for the test btw"...anyways that same morning the teacher let us know that we did need the lockdown browser, which went against my visualization, and it made me panic, BUT I managed to quickly calm myself and just reassured that I'd be fine for the exam. The day of the exam, I downloaded the app on my iPad and was basically shitting myself cus I was scared that it would all fuck up...but guess what?? The exam launched WITHOUT the lockdown starting, and it processed perfectly!? I also visualized my desired score range for the exam before I submitted it (canvas auto-grading) and I also got that manifestation as well!! It just goes to show that even if the manifestation seems fucked up in the moment, if you want it then it'll happen lol!

2 - Better health / not being sick: Basically my sister spread her germs all around me and one night I literally FELT my throat start to hurt and I panicked (I have been hospitalized before for a cold and I am traumatized fr) and so that night I reassured myself that I wouldn't get sick and that my throat doesn't hurt. I slept well that night but the morning after I woke up stuffy and the normal cold symptoms showed up. Again I was scared that I had just failed the manifestation and wallowed all day...but I do remember slightly just telling myself that I was not sick. Anyways, today is the day after that, and I am perfectly FINE. No nose stuffiness, no cough, I feel completely normal. This is so spooky to me cus I've never healed from a cold so fast.

3 - Package from AliExpress coming wayyyyy early: If you've ever ordered from there you know the shipping can lag a ton if you choose a store with minimal reviews...and I did that. However, I just affirmed that the package would get here quick. 5 Days later and it's here!! It arrived today lmaooooo 😭😭

Hopefully this post finds people who like some more slice of life "average" manifestation stories lmao. I manifest shit daily and so easily, it really is just a matter of practice. (⁠ ⁠ꈍ⁠ᴗ⁠ꈍ⁠)

[soahbee]

!!BIG UPDATE GIRLSSSS HELP!!😭😭

So I had my exam with him today. To be honest, I didn't sleep much yesterday, bc in the end he didn't reply to my "I'd like to see you during the holidays" message and there was never a time when he didn't answer! I felt so much that with this I just fucked everything that we had built with great difficulty between each other. I tried to avoid interacting with him all day and only looked at him when I entered the room, but I quickly sat down instead, tried to shut out my thoughts and focus only on the exam. I like his class, I like the way he teaches and I want to remain the best. Fortunately, I managed to concentrate and solve everything, so I think I will get a good mark.

However, after the exam, some of my friends still had an exam today, so I planned to go home as soon as possible because I remembered again that R is and I wrote him a stupid message yesterday, to which he did not reply, so I overthought it and thought that it must be unpleasant the situation for him as well.

But after I was on my way out of the class, R suddenly called my name quite loudly and I'll be honest, I was really scared. A few people also looked at us a bit strangely, everyone here likes dramas, you know blah. I went to him with great difficulty and stood in awkward silence by the table and just watched him pack his bag while everyone left the room and there were only two of us left. I tried to determine from his face what he was thinking, but his gaze was so gloomy that I had no good premonitions, so I panicked, and when I panic, I tend to talk nonsense, so I remained silent until finally he looked at me and said:

"I didn't want to ignore your message yesterday, I'm sorry, but I'm primarily your teacher now and I want you to concentrate on your exams."

I didn't know what to say at the time, so whatever came came. I quickly said that there is nothing wrong, I don't know what I was thinking, when I wrote it, it just happened, but forget it and yes, I will concentrate on the exams. After that, R smiled kindly at me and, just imagine, stroked my head and said: "Won't you let me finish?"

After that I almost bit my tongue lol He asked when I would finish all my exams and I told him that there would be one at the end of December and the first week of January. He said that he hopes they will turn out as well as the others and that he can't promise anything, but if he's home between two holidays, then we can talk about what I wrote.

I don't know exactly what this means, but I didn't really understand it then, and maybe even now I'm in a state of shock, so girls, help me, what does this mean?!! Now do you think he would like to meet me? Then I didn't cross the boundaries and he didn't misunderstand???

IDK IM JUST AHHHHH 😭😭

[whomst-art-thou-whomst-whomst]

Oh No! Here Comes Trouble: (more) Headcanons

Look I have no excuses left. I’m trying to channel Guangyan’s academic success and only succeeding in channeling Yiyong’s. They practically owe me a season two at this point for making me the OnePer of my own life.

1.) Chuying has gotten…well. A tad bit “cautious” now, never mind her coworkers’ gentle comment about her being “totally fucking paranoid,” because they didn’t have to scrape Yiyong’s broken body and Guangyan’s broken heart off the floor of a museum, leaving their own broken confidence behind, now did they? Its not really a problem. Until it is. Until she clotheslines one of Guangyan’s little college friends who’s running towards him and looking shady about it (who looks happy at school on a Tuesday? Villains. Psychopaths. Pastry chefs. Bad people, that’s who). It’s possible her boss was right to force her to go to therapy. She will not be telling him that. She maintains overcaution is best (Yiyong had laughed when he’d heard about it and Guangyan had looked suspiciously gleeful at the sight of his supposed school friend’s cartwheel through the air), so it’s fine.

2.) Yiyong’s first case post coma two (ugh) is a dead violinist trying to locate his lost sonata that it turns out his fake friend stole and killed him over. After the case is settled, Guangyan waxes on about some dumb movie called Coco and forces Yiyong to watch it. It’s after one of Yiyong’s PT sessions, so they sit in Yiyong’s bed for it. There is approximately no room and Guangyan keeps hissing about how certain people treat their guests, but they eventually create a blanket fort, largely by accident, and settle in to watch. Yiyong’s mother joins them partway through, smelling like dye chemicals. Yiyong is not upset by the story. He isn’t. He’s upset by his mom’s worn out voice as she asks random questions about the film like Yiyong knows things, he’s upset about the stupid plotting because the stupid kid doesn’t feel like he can follow his stupid passion and is missing his stupid family, he’s upset by Guangyan’s very soft hands that keep wrapping around Yiyong’s arm (annoying, clingy, he makes no move to stop him) during sad moments. So that’s why if he cries a little, it’s because he’s upset about those things.

3.) Yiyong’s mom and Guangyan’s dad have a “what the shit are the kids up to” drinks session a few nights a week. She’s convinced him to try her favorite beer. Neither of them really have many friends, but they have some very strange young people in common and a lot of silences in their lives where there used to be more people. One of their favorite drinking games involves the number of times the kids will text complaining something predictable about each other, or whether Chuying will send a vague, panicked text about something they are definitely not supposed to be up to.

4.) Guangyan has a terrible, terrible day. Everything goes wrong. He oversleeps by fifteen minutes, he gets two questions wrong (wrong???) on an exam, he drags his feet in dejection on the way to lab work and gets scolded for being “almost late,” and one of his classmates tells him he “doesn’t look great today.” In a fit of frustration at his own imperfections, he sends Chuying and Yiyong a rare introspective text wondering if he’s just the absolute most worthless, useless person ever. Chuying sends back about fifty inspirational Pinterest posts about how you’re ❤️special as you are❤️, and follows these up by threatening to come over and beat up whoever made him think this (he declines carefully). Yiyong says nothing in the chat, which he expected. But. He comes home and finds that Someone has drawn a picture for him, crumpled it up and thrown it through his window (based on the dirt on the outside, the toss failed several times). The drawing is rendered in sunset colors, and it’s of the teacups ride at the amusement park. It’s beautifully drawn, with careful detail down to the design on the teacup. In the forefront, two figures are whirling around in a teacup. One looks a little grumpy, the other one is alight with joy and shaded in with soft pastel. The caption simply reads, “The Most Worthless, Useless Day Ever.”

5.) The trio go on expeditions together—not just for cases now, but because Chuying saw a cool festival, or Guangyan needs people to come with him to this horrible networking event (and later regrets this deeply), or Yiyong gets that distant look in his eyes and needs to start walking. He likes that his people, his two people (and his high school friends, if he so chooses) will go somewhere, anywhere with him for no reason. Even just to sit on a bench somewhere. He thinks a lot on these walks. About how Chuying needs to stop second-guessing herself these days, because something hurts in his chest to see the mighty OnePer flicker with doubt; about how Guangyan always gets the same look in his eyes when he’s overworked himself and is about to fall asleep on Yiyong’s shoulder (he’s not entirely ready to examine why he always waits around on late study nights with anticipation for those moments); about how much he wishes he could have introduced them both to his dad and grandfather. He thinks about how his family is here and not-here, all still with him one way or another, and how he’s probably going to start drawing that comic again soon (after all, he did have that one reader, why not dream big?).

[mlm-writer]

Something to Eat (Scott Lang x M!Reader)

Pairing: Bottom!Scott Lang aka Antman x Top!Cis!Male Reader Rating: Explicit Words: 1696 POV: Second Summary: Scott comes back after a mission, covered in some yellow stuff. As the only other person present, it is your job to fix him. Note: For the prompt ‘sex pollen’. No, it is not late.  See my kinktober 2022 masterlist here. Uhhh It is probably obvious that I don’t follow the MCU at all. Tags: sex pollen, dubcon but con, multiple orgasms, prostate orgasms, gentle reader, eager blowjob, sperm fixes everything, fits nowhere in canon but idc just enjoy your porn, dry orgasms, anal fingering and unconventional love confession

“Get it off me!” Scott exclaimed as he finally became his normal size again. He was covered in some yellow stuff. It was just you and him in the base today, so if anyone was going to rip that suit off him, it had to be you. You took a hazmat suit out the closet and ran over to him, screaming that you were coming. The hood clicked on just before you got to Scott. He was coughing and frantically trying to get out of the suit, but his panic did not help his predicament. 

“Calm down!” You scolded him, trying to help him out of the suit. In your hurry to get him out of the tight fabric, his underwear joined the suit on the floor. Scott immediately put his hands in front of his crotch. “No time for shame, Scott, we need to decontaminate you!” You dragged him to the showers and pushed him inside. “Scrub well!” 

You left the door, when you heard the water running and went to clean up the mess. By the time you had a sample of the yellow stuff in the chemical analyser, you realised the water had long stopped running, but Scott was still in the shower room. You frowned and went back to the door. You knocked on the door. “Scott?” 

“Don’t come in!” Came the panicked voice of Scott. Your frown deepened and you wondered if you needed to run to the first aid kit or call someone in. 

“Are you ok?” “Yes! Just fine! Dandy even!” “I don’t know what the yellow stuff is yet, so I will have to do a physical exam. Come out.” “No! I mean, I am not clean yet! It really sticks to your skin!” “Then why is the shower not running?” 

The shower started running again. You sighed in frustration and walked away from the door, letting Scott finish whatever he was doing in there. You were concerned, but as long as Scott was not sounding like he was dying, you assumed he would be fine. Instead of wasting your time on a stubborn man, you went back to the chemical analyser. 

The yellow powder consisted of many compounds, some simple emulgators, others used in all sorts of different medication types. Without knowing what these compounds did when combined, you were sure of one thing: Scott was not going to get out of that physical exam. “Fuck!” You dashed out of your chair when you heard Scott cry out. 

You repeatedly slammed your fist against the door. “Scott! Open this door, right now!” He did not reply. You used your override code. You found Scott on the floor of the showers, a cold stream of water pouring over his naked back as he sat there on his knees, bent double. You turned the shower off and grabbed a towel. You draped it over him and tried to get him off the floor. “Come on, you need help,” you spoke gently as you tried to get him to stand up. 

Scott shook his head. “I can’t. Fuck, it hurts, but nothing helps.”

“What hurts? Scott, you need to talk to me. I am here to help you; please, let me help you.” You then touched the side of his head, trying to make him at least look at you. The skin was burning hot. “You’re having a fever. I don’t care what you say, you’re getting off this bathroom floor right now.” You stopped being gentle and put one of his arms around your shoulders. You lifted him off the floor, the towel falling on the wet floor. You did not look at him as you half-lifted half-dragged him out of the bathroom and to a chair. Once you had him in a chair, you could really look at him. Scott was still dripping cold water everywhere, panting, his skin flushed and his cock long and hard twitching against his stomach. 

“I don’t know what’s going on. I came seven times! Seven! I need more…” Scott was gripping the chair so hard his knuckles were turning white. He was crossing his legs, trying to hide his cock from view, but every small touch to it seemed to hurt. You took a quick look around and grabbed your hoodie, which you had taken off earlier when it got too hot. You draped it over Scott’s crotch to give him some sense of privacy. He winced at the contact, but froze in place with a little less pain on his face. “Please, you need to do something. I’m going to die from horniness,” he gritted through his teeth, seriously sounding like a dying man.  

You ran your fingers through your hair. “I’m thinking! I’d love to have sex with you, Scott, but did you forget you’re straight?”

Scott groaned. “I promise, I have not been straight since that time I saw you playing with Cassie. I also promise that I will take you out for dinner after, just please, I’m dying.” 

“Is that a love confession?” “Yes, not how I planned it either, but…” “Ok, stop talking, I am gonna grab some lube.” “Thank you!”

When you returned with a box of nitrile gloves and lube, Scott had thrown your hoodie onto the floor and was stroking his cock with tears in the corners of his eyes. You took a foot stool and sat down in front of him, between his legs. “Does it hurt?” You asked as you pushed Scott’s hand aside. He nodded, clearly ashamed and in pain. “I can imagine. A lot of friction will damage the skin.” You pulled a pair of gloves from the box and put them on. 

“You’re gonna give me a prostate exam?” Scott joked, though he did sound half-terrified. 

“Trust me.” You placed his legs over your shoulders. Scott relaxed a little and nodded. You poured lube over your fingers and spread it over his hole, before inserting a single finger. Scott looked no more uncomfortable than he already was. When there was little resistance, you added a second finger. 

Scott’s breathing got even heavier. You felt around for his prostate. When you found it, you made sure to gently rub it over and over. Scott’s muscles tensed up and before you knew it, Scott was twitching and moaning. His cock flexed, but Scott had no cum left. “Holy shit, that is great, keep doing it.” 

You coaxed orgasm after orgasm out of Scott, but he never had enough. After four, you decided he needed a break. “No, please, I need more,” he pleaded, when he felt your fingers exit him. You took the gloves off and dropped them on the floor. 

“Scott, your body is exhausted. You need food and something to drink or you will die anyway,” you tried to reason with him. After putting his legs down, you stood up. 

Scott suddenly sat up and had his hands on your hips. “Let me suck you off first.” You shook your head and tried to brush his hands off, but he grabbed you tighter. “Please, I promise to eat and drink after.” You could not say no anymore. Seeing Scott having prostate orgasm after prostate orgasm also got you hard as a rock and you never had someone so eager to suck your cock. 

Somewhere inside you, you knew you were going to regret this after Scott got his mind back, but it was hard to think about that, while Scott was frantically ridding you of your pants and underwear. He did not dilly dally, immediately trying to swallow all of your cock down. “Fuck, take it easy,” you cried out as Scott was an uncoordinated mess. “Less teeth, Scott, please,” you huffed. It was clear Scott had never sucked cock before, but he soon enough got pretty decent, his eagerness making up for the lack of finesse. 

Looking down at him he was a porn-worthy sight. He could not deepthroat yet, but he was stroking whatever did not fit in his mouth. Scott was humming and moaning with your dick in his mouth, as if you were the best meal he’s ever had. “Scott, I’m close,” you moaned, clutching his hair in your hand. Scott took your cock out of his mouth. You expected him to just stroke it, but to your surprise, he kept the tip on his tongue, while he stroked the rest of your length. He wanted to taste your seed so badly, he was begging for it. You held his shoulder, while you spilled into his mouth, moaning and fighting to keep your eyes open, so you could see him eagerly swallowing every drop. 

Scott even wrapped his lips around the tip of your cock, so he could suck every last bit out of you. When he was finally satisfied, you sat back down on the foot stool. “That was so good,” you sighed, catching your breath. You looked over to Scott as he agreed. He was sagged in his chair, looking almost as satisfied as you were. You took another minute, before stuffing your cock back in your pants and standing up. “Ok, I am gonna see what we have around here.” 

When you came back with two sandwiches and two cans of soda, you found the chair you left Scott in empty. “Scott!” You called out in an instant panic. 

“I’m here!” You speedwalked towards his voice, finding Scott dressed in clean clothes on the couch in a different room. He looked uncomfortable, but his skin was no longer flushed. “I… think I am all better now. Sorry for forcing myself on you like that.” You handed him a sandwich and soda, and sat down next to him. 

“Thank you for the blowjob,” you joked, hoping to light the mood. 

Scott scoffed. “Should have started with that. All symptoms just disappeared soon after… that.” He did not really look at you. There was a short silence between you. “About what I said before… you know. I meant it and my dinner offer still stands.” 

You smiled at him and tapped his shoulder so he would finally look at you. “I’d really like that.” 

[causenessus]

omg i hate that guy <- not really anymore,, he's a good teacher my grades shot up SO fast (D->A within three months of him teaching) BUT LIKEEEE HES BEEN TEACHING ME SINCE 8TH GRADE AND SAYS LIKE 1 GOOD THING EVERY 6 MONTHS

HE ARRIVED AS SOON AS I READ UR ANSWER

he said i did well today 😎 and if i study properly ill do the same in all my next exams !!1! i have to start a bunch of different coachings eww

ANYWAYS i woke up at like 5 today (us moment) !! idk why because i had online classes that started from 9

sleep early tho!!!!!!! i hate waking up and i hate sleeping i hate everything actually

i conked out at 11:30pm last night (omfg i did not know i could do that)

im doing so good (still high off the grades) but like lowkey panicking bc of the next exams !! my goal is to beat my sister's records <//3 basically she's pike crazy good and got 7 A* and 1 B </3 i alr got an A* in the subject she got a B in, and then i have like 7 more subjects to give exams of :[

but like she is ACTUALLY so good at studies n shit she got the highest grades in her batch in biology in this years board exams (wtf!) and when she gave her 10th grade boards she got like the highest marks in economics in 34 years/basically the whole school history i will cry .

the english teacher i have rn is fucking insane she told us callous and careless are the same thing i almost cried

she also spelled ajar as ajure

NOW YOU MIGHT SAY but lina thats hecking stupid !! its not her first language:( SHE HAS A DEGREE?? AND IS THE HEAD OF THE ENGLISH DEPARTMENT ??? and she took up four classes (4hrs) just talking about the SYLLABUS not even what we're learning

im aiming for like,, country highest at least in english so having her is a terrifying thought

ALSO A GIRL FROM THE BATCH ABOVE ME GOT WORLD HIGHEST IN HER MATH BOARD EXAM (100%!?!?)

okay anyways ill go erm sorry for yapping.. IM STARTING MY HEALTHY STUDY GIRL ERA AND STUDY NOW!!! honestly im quite proud of myself because like a year and a bit ago my grades were like,, 1 U, 3 Ds, 5 Cs and 1 B like wtf .. anyways the subject i got a U in back then,, i got 90% in boards this year ! and my lowest grade recently was 80% like chat we r eating ts up

IVE TALKED ENOUGH THANKS FOR LISTENING OR WHATEVER NOW I FEEL EMBARRASSED

STAY SAFE AND HYDRATED NESS ILY ILY ILY BYEBYE :)

DON'T FEEL EMBARASSED!!!!! I LOVE TO HEAR YOU TALK <3333 (sorry i got distracted and immediately read the bottom paragraph LET ME READ FROM THE START) LMAO I'M GLAD YOUR TUTOR IS GOOD AT TEACHING!! EVEN IF HE'S NOT NICE 😔😔😔 KNOW THAT YOU'RE DOING SO WELL LINA!!! I'LL COMPLIMENT U AND CHEER U ON IF HE WON'T <3

LINA SIDE TAGENT THAT I LOVE YOU SO MUCH i love how energetic your writing is!!! like it's rubbing off on me <33 i was feeling a little sleepy but now that i'm reading your ask i feel more like !!! awake!!!! this is all /pos I JUST WANTED TO SAY I LOVE THE WAY YOU TALK </33 BUT PLEASE 5 AM???? AND YOUR FIRST ONLINE CLASS IS AT 9??? PLEASE BRO WHY IS THAT THE USUAL?? 😭 WHEN MY FIRST CLASSES WERE ONLINE IN HIGH SCHOOL I FR WOKE UP AT LIKE 8 EVERYDAY (bc idk how they were for you but like google meets were once a week and optional bc they'd just record it anyway so i'd watch the recordings at like 2x speed while doomscrolling tumblr or something)

YOU SLEEP EARLY PLEASE!! or like sleep more idk 😭😭 i could never wake up at 5 am willingly you're amazing for that 😭 the "i hate everything actually" is SO real it made me laugh so hard PLEASE 😭

YOUR SISTER SOUNDS CRAZY??? LIKE GOOD LUCK BEATING HER RECORDS IG </3 BUT PLEASE DON'T STRESS YOURSELF OUT OR MAKE IT A BIG DEAL !! YOU DID AMAZING THIS TIME AROUND WITH YOUR EXAMS AND IK YOU'LL DO GREAT AGAIN BUT DEFINITELY DON'T STRESS YOURSELF OUT TOO MUCH PLEASE!! i cannot believe the thing about your sister having the highest grades in ECONOMICS in like 34 years because economics is NOT fun that class made like 0 sense to me like bro if the global market is crashing and economists don't understand it HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO UNDERSTAND IT ?????????

CALLOUS AND CARELESS ARE THE SAME THING????????? HELLO????????????? HOW IS SHE A TEACHER I'M SO SORRY BUT LIKE EVEN IF IT'S NOT HER FIRST LANGUAGE THAT MEANS NOTHING LIKE BEING AN ENGLISH TEACHER IS NOT THE ONLY JOB OUT THERE IF SHE CAN'T TEACH ENGLISH THEN LIKE MAYBE SHE CAN TEACH SOMETHING ELSE??? BC I CAN'T BELIEVE THEY'RE LETTING HER TEACH IF SHE'S DOING THINGS LIKE THAT 😭 AND SHE'S THE HEAD OF THE DEPARTMENT AND EVERYTHING??? EVEN CRAZIER???? good luck with your goals though!! i believe in u <3

WHY IS YOUR GRADE BREAKING LIKE ALL THESE RECORDS?????? LIKE I KEEP READING MORE PARAGRAPHS AND WITH EVERY WORD MY CONFIDENCE IN MY OWN SCHOLARLY ACCOMPLISHMENTS IS DEPLETING LMAO 😭😭 I DID NOT BREAK ANY RECORDS BUT GOOD FOR U GUYS!!!

amazing job with the better grades!! and i love your healthy study girl era!! please make sure to take care of yourself and keep your mind and body nourished <333 i hope you're doing alright!! i just saw something on your blog recently that made me want to make sure you're doing alright!!! please know that my dms are always open to you!! <33 take it easy and you're an amazing person <3 you're so sweet and talented please let me know if you need anything!!

[i-cant-sing]

Idk why my posts aren't appearing, it could be a tumblr glitch or a shadowban, idk, but yall better be fucking reblogging my works rn because I for sure did put my whole author-ussy in them🔪

Also just wanna take a moment to praise myself for being bery active today and it reminded me of the old days when I firsts started this blog with exams just a month away, panicking and stressing as I wrote down bangers while studying Krebs cycle for the umpteenth time.

I'm back, baby🤘(maybe)

[my-castles-crumbling]

Hi cas, it’s grieving anon. Here for the vibes today. TAYLOR SWIFT… I mean… 

So, ive had a few weird things happen. I got distracted and fell over, and injured myself so yay… and then I had the weirdest thing happen.

So I mentioned I got nightmares right? That I woke my mum up by shouting and sitting up in my sleep. So I have a bunk bed (small room- needed space for a desk). And a few days ago I had this creepy dream and legit propelled myself out of bed- still half asleep and panicking. Then had to climb back in. 

And last night I literally crawled from lying down to the other end of my bed and climbed over the bars and fell OVER and OFF my bed to the floor 😭

You know the length of like, a normal door? It was like that far that I fell. I woke up both my parents. 

IM 16! I shouldn’t be flying out of bed. Luckily i’m not too hurt tho. I remember the dream, I was just climbing over a fence, I couldn’t feel the floor but I knew it was there so I let go, and then I WOKE UP ON MY FUCKIGN FLOOR. 

Like whyyyyy.

Anyway. So Long, London. My first favourite. “HOW MUCH SAD DID YOU, think I had, did you, think I had in me, HOW MUCH TRAGEDY?”

Then, of course, I Can Do It With A Broken Heart. AMAZING. Yes.

And, Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me? 

So far, they’re my fav but i’m sure the others will claw their way into my heart too. 

Anyway, my sisters been annoying me. She seems annoyingly fine. She called all the injury’s i’ve been getting “pre-exam” injuries… NO! They’re post fucking death injuries. 

I know her, I know she’s suffering in silence. But it means whenever I see her, she seems fine. And it’s fucking annoying. 

I don’t know anymore. My mum, she said her nightmares went away after my Nans death when she went to a grief therapist or something. i’ve never gone to a therapist. I don’t know how it’d feel. And, I don’t really have the time. 

But I don’t want to wake up on my floor again. 

I feel like I blinked and my life became this mess I can’t control. And I have no energy to anymore. I lost all my fire. I used to strive to learn and care and participate. Now i’d happily rot away. Why bother. 

Anyway (that’s like the third time i’ve said that now 🤦‍♀️) “IM JUST GETTING COLOUR BACK INTO MY FACE IM JUST MAD AS HELL CAUSE I LOVED THIS PLACE” 

Writing these at the end of some of my days has been very stress relieving so thank you. I’ve bullied myself into not picking the scab on the horrid massive cut I got from falling over. I’ve refrained from pressing into the bruises I got from sleep falling/climbing off my stupid bed. 

“IS IT A WONDER I BROKE. LETS HEAR ONE MORE JOKE”

 This isn’t even my usual music vibe 😭

“DONT YOU WORRY FOLKS, WE TOOK OUT ALL HER TEETH” Iconic. 

“YOU SHOULD BE. YOU SHOULD BE.”

“YOU WOULDN’T LAST AN HOUR IN THE ASYLUM WHERE THEY RAISED ME”

Literally everything i’ve tried to do this week has failed. School work, running, sleeping.

I’m so tired. 

Hi hon! I'm so glad to hear from you! <3

Nightmares after a loss are SUPER common, and you're right to know that they don't have to do with exams. As far as therapy, I know you said you don't have time, and I used to say the same thing but then I got to thinking...

I wasted SO much time being sad, run down, anxious, depressed. Like I probably spent at least an hour a day in anxiety paralysis, you know? So devoting an hour a week to STOPPING those symptoms actually saves me time, in the long run.

It may not feel the same for you, but it's something to think about! <3

I'm so glad you like TTPD. Using music to cope is also super helpful. Screaming lyrics is so...emotionally rejuvinating.

Keep messaging me <3 I'm thinking of you!

[bellafae]

Today was horrible. It was my literature oral exam. For Mr D's class. I prepared myself very well and wrote a good text. I came in and I was already panicking. I was really nervous. I forgot everything, I barely did anything. He managed to salvage my points with my text that I had written, questions he asked, and what little I presented.

I sat down and I started crying. I don't know I just broke down. I was just exhausted, tired of it all. I got 13/20 which I'm thankful for. I know he pitied me. It wasn't out of merit. I couldn't look at him in the eye. He comforted me a bit I guess, went out of his chair and got me tissues. I think he wanted to do more but since another professor was present he couldn't do much. God, I felt so weak, so vulnerable. I was so stupid. I tried explaining myself.

The strange thing is, after I left the class my friends were gonna talk to me but I tried my best to avoid them so they wouldn't see my face. I dashed to the stairs and then later on my friend called me on the phone, asked me how I did and if I was okay or alright. which was a bit unusual. I'm going to fucking unalive Mr D if he told her (she was right after me) I said to her I was gonna miss my bus and there were interruptions with the public transportation so I had to leave quickly.

He's gonna go back to his girlfriend and tell her how one of his students cried. I'll try to avoid him as much as possible. How pathetic. I'm such a dumbass. I'd fucking kill for a hug rn

[ochako-uraraka-kin]

Chapter one, Volume one, HER

One day, Uraraka-San woke up, late for school "Uh-oh... I'm late!" Uraraka-San said in a panicked voice. She rushed to get ready for school, she brushed her hair and teeth, and she put on her school uniform. After that, she grabs her bag, puts on her shoes, and sprints to school. On her way there, she bumps into Midoriya-Kun "Oh! Sorry Deku-Kun!" She said nervously feeling bad she bumped into him. "Uraraka-San..? Are.. you okay?" Midoriya said worried "You've been being late a lot lately.. is everything alright?" 

Uraraka was surprised Midoriya asked this. Lately she's been feeling a bit down after having a fight with her friend, Asui-San. "Y-Yes.. I'm fine. Why do you ask? Everything's alright! Nothin' to worry about here! Heh!" Uraraka was embarrassed at the way she said everything was alright in multiple words. "I— Are you sure, Uraraka-San?" Midoriya-Kun asked, not fully believing Uraraka-San. "Uhhh.... Well! Would ya look at the time! We've gotta go! Don't wanna be more late!" Uraraka-San said rushing to get to class with Midoriya-Kun following behind her. (RECAP ON HOW URARAKA-SAN AND ASUI-SAN GOT IN A FIGHT)   Uraraka-San and Asui-San got into an argument due to Asu-San believing Uraraka-San  to have been a fake friend to her since Uraraka-San  started hanging around Ashido-San more. Despite Uraraka-san's attempts to reason with her, Asui-San wouldn't hear anything of it, and the two haven't spoken or hung out together since...

(IN CLASS)

"Ugh! Damn it! This question is so confusing!" Kaminari-Kun said frustratedly. "How am I supposed to figure out— It's 12² - 5!!??" Kaminari-Kun was extremely frustrated, Jiro-San walked over to Kaminari-Kun, and said "...Kaminari-Kun... that's— the answer is 169..." Jiro-San said trying not to laugh. Kaminari-Kun then said "But.. how did... HOW!?!" Kaminari-Kun was very confused. Uraraka-San was just hanging out with Yaoyorozu-San, when suddenly "DIE YOU NERD! I'LL BE NUMBER ONE! ME! NOT YOU, DAMN IT!!" Bakugo-Kun's angry as usual...

"K-KACCHAN NO!! STOP! DON'T KILL ME—!" Midoriya-Kun was scared since he had said he'd be the number one hero. Uraraka-San spoke up "Bakugo-Kun..why are you yelling?". Bakugo-Kun was confused, he thought on what to say, he grinned as he spoke "Because I feel like it, pink cheeks!" Uraraka-san's jaw dropped as she heard him call her 'pink cheeks'.  Kirishima-Kun spoke up "Bakubro! So not manl—" "SHUT UP SH*TTY HAIR!!" Bakugo-Kun yells loudly.

Aizawa-sensei speaks "Please, get in your seats.. Today we're training on controlling our quirks.. Midoriya-Kun.. I've noticed you've improved lately.. good job, keep it up.."   Midoriya-Kun is a bit surprised to hear Aizawa-sensei say that. He hadn't noticed that he'd improved. Ashido-San then says "Good job Midoriya-Kun!" Uraraka-San says as well , "Yeah, good job! I'm proud you've improved. You've been doing way better since the entrance exam!" She smiled while saying this. Midoriya-Kun then speaks "Uh—Thanks! I didn't expect this many compliments..." . 

Aizawa-sensei speaks, sounding a bit annoyed "Alright, alright.. settle down... Please change into your training uniform and head to the training grounds." . The students silently walk to the locker rooms and change into their training uniforms. "Hey— Yaoyorozu-San..?" Jiro-San said. "Could you.. meet me here after training..?" Yaoyorozu-San nodded. "Why of course, Jiro-San!" 

                                 TRAINING

"AGHH! DAMMIT DEKU! YOURE NOT SUPPOSED TO DO THAT!" Bakugo-Kun screamed at Midoriya-Kun. "KACCHAN! I WILL NOT LET YOU YELL AT ME!" the whole class looked at Midoriya-Kun like 'what the f*ck-'. "DAMN MIDOBRO 😭" Kirishima-Kun said in shock. Aizawa says "shut up ☺️" 'THE HELL DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME!?!?" Bakugo-Kun shouted. "KACCHAN STOP FUCKING SCREAMING AT PEOPLE OH MY GOD YOU ARE SO GODDAMN ANNOYING!!!" Midoriya-Kun screamed. "😦" was Uraraka-sans exact reaction.

                             LOCKER ROOMS

"What is it that you needed, Jiro-San?" Yaoyorozu said with a warm smile. "Well, I need some advice.. I like someone but I don't know how to tell him... what should I do..?" Jiro-San said softly. "Actions speak louder than words... Remember, always be yourself. Would you date you?" Yaoyorozu said confidently. "Wha- Be...Myself....who...Am I?" Jiro-San silently spoke to herself.

                    WARNING 18+ nah I'm jk this part is completely fine for u lol

"Deku-Kun? I've been wanting to talk to you for a while about something now... do you have the time?" Uraraka-San said softly. Midoriya-Kun responded with "Yes, of course Uraraka-San! What is it?" He smiled. Uraraka-San blushed a little bit, "well... I've kinda been thinking.. about love.. a lot recently, it hasn't been anybody else that's made me think of this at all.. I've been feeling like this ever since, well... forever.. I just wanted to let you know that.. I- I love you Deku-Kun!" Uraraka-San said with a red face, blushing like she never has before. “Ur-Uraraka-San…”

      ~To be continued, in chapter two, volume one

[dziedznuts]

// vent , but it’s partially a good vent?

holy fucking balls today has been an emotional roller coaster that i did NOT sign up for. first AP exam scores came out, and i passed both my tests with fours because i’m a fucking baller. then i went to go get my passport stuff done, and found put my own MOTHER forgot my birthday and put the wrong date down. which like, ow??? it’s not even like she got me mixed up with my siblings, because i’m an only child!! thennnn my grandma called my mom to tell her that she’s gifting our family 20 grand, which completely ELIMINATES my mom’s student loans, which is fucking amazing like oh my god??? i’m still in shock???? then my mom LOST MY FUCKING BIRTH CERTIFICATE and that became this massive fucking fight between her and my dad. that in turn made me kind of start panicking for trauma related reasons. and then. on top of allllllllll of that. my ex texted me. why?????? why today????? like i just wanted a chill day and the universe said “um actually no!”

[jonny-b-meowborn]

Christ just remembering my dream today, I went to school for one of my speaking exams, and in the building there was a lot of cameramen and news reporters, so I got super stressed out like, are they gonna document the exams or something? Did something happen in the area? I went to one room that's full of pillows n shit (it's an actual room we have at school irl it's fun) to like, wait and prepare for my exam, but one of the reporters approached me as soon as she saw me, asking me a shit ton of questions about an event that I've never heard of, but apparently was heavily involved in. But it was weirdly Trial by Kafka-like, where I never learned what the actual crime was. Apparently instead of my exam I was supposed to give a big speech defending myself live on TV and no one would tell me what was even happening. My classmates were absent, or if I saw one of them they'd leave before I could speak to them, and if they realized that I noticed them they'd quickly walk away to avoid me. The teachers were at best super disappointed in me, at worst genuinely disgusted with me for what I've done, and of course wouldn't tell me what it was. I wasn't allowed to leave the building, I couldn't even leave the relax room without being swarmed by reporters asking me stuff I didn't understand. At some point I couldn't take the pressure and stress and started panicking, yelling at everyone to please let me out or explain what's going on, that I was innocent and confused and scared, I felt like an animal surrounded by hunters. During this fit I saw my class's head teacher, who's a great and lovely and supporting man irl, but I couldn't get to him through the reporters around me, so I yelled at him for help, I screamed that he knows me, he knows I haven't done anything, but he just looked at me with this soul crushing disappointment in his eyes and for a moment I believed maybe I did something truly horrible. And my entire meltdown was framed as if I was being aggressive and attacking the reporters, even though aside from the screaming and trying to push them away to escape I didn't do anything. Eventually the show I was supposed to be on started, and I was dragged out of the relax room to the lecture hall, in front of a bunch of cameras and a microphone. I just stood there, silently sobbing, still having no idea what's happening. Some people in the audience around me, reporters or just teachers I couldn't recognize, were speaking softly to me that I should calm down and confess and it'll all be okay as long as I do what's right. I couldn't say anything and the cameras kept rolling, waiting for me to do something, and then the dream ended. What in the holiest of fucks