#i did it to heal myself you see | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

olsmad-illo · 8 months

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Kasuga caught a bug, and it’s Nomoto’s turn to nurse her back to health.

I’m also sick with covid rn and I tried making yaki onigiri for the first time, which made me want to draw this!

#illustration #drawing #my art #tsukutabe #she loves to cook and she loves to eat #tsukuritai onna to tabetai onna #nomoto yuki #kasuga totoko #gl #yuri #manga #lesbian #cosy #i did it to heal myself you see #self indulgence is the best medicine #also look at them they love each other #oh to be spoiled and loved #also two tea bags are peppermint and lemon ginger because thats all ive been drinking today

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mushroominaforest · 18 days

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I mean yes, definitely, but I also just really like projecting lmfao

#Those characters I like?#Yeah they’re me now sorry #I based their characterization on parts of my own personality #And how I reacted to being in similar situations or how I think I would react if I was in the same situation as them #Is it a character study of my personal representation of these characters #Or am I actually secretly character studying myself #Is this therapy?#This counts as therapy right #I’m not allowed to got to therapy lol #So I will instead project on my sillies and secretly vent about my own experiences through the voices I give the sillies #That’s healthy right I’m like 99% sure that’s a healthy coping mechanism #Who needs therapy (me) when you can hyperfixate on a character who has gone through far worse but similar things to you #And then let them heal and be cared for #Except you’re actively projecting on them so it’s basically you who’s healing #See. See what I did there #I’m so smart #Im gonna therapy myself one way or another #Wether I’m allowed to go to therapy or not PARENTS #Yeah. Take that. Teenage rebellion moment #I’m therapy-ing myself #🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯

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hopeinthebox · 4 months

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tagged by my beloved no.1 chappell roan stan @cordiallyfuturedwight thanks my darling <33 i can only apologise for the lack of ms roan here... i swear good luck babe has been on repeat i don't know what happened

tagging the usual suspects, apologies if i've already missed yours: @aprylynn @jiminsproof @thvinyl @cosmicdreamgrl @visionsofgideontheninth @hoseeok @kimchokejin @jihopesjoint @monismochi <333 and you dear reader

oh and see here for more of my self-proclaimed songs of the summer if you're interested in that kind of thing

#director's commentary--#comin' around again - they call her amber MARK because she never misses. this one is particularly delicious #the thrill is gone - it's stunning. listening to raye again to prepare myself for genesis #bring back the seven minute songs i say!!#i'm fighting my own diminished attention span tooth and nail but i'm losing badly because i keep getting distracted #helen of troy - we all moved on from solar power a little too quickly actually this summer we should throw our cellular devices in the wate #whatcha doing - yeah i have this song on repeat to fund dua's next vacation and it's an honour to contribute.#ALSO did everyone see the chris stapleton x dua acm performance? exquisite. they served AND they ate #bodyguard - still my fav. ryan beatty i could find you anywhere #skip to the good bit - rizzle kicks are making a comeback and my god it has been twelve LONG years without them.#nature is healing. i can hear the trumpets #ok love you bye - anyone who decides to use the line 'if you can't see my mirrors - i can't see you' is an instant icon #it's uncanny - hall & oates deep cut. it's obviously fab #so sick of dreaming - maggie rogers i will follow you to the ends of the earth. album is phenomenal. what a loser!!!#aw shoot - cuntry and music global pop sensation cmat has done it yet again. happy pride my queen #honourable mentions - rachel chinouriri's new album is really great. listen to 'it is what it is'#obviously rm made it to the artist list. who else up thinking about nuts and groin rn!!!!!#vampire weekend's new album is like something from a peanuts comic and st. vincent's new album is indescribable #but if i had to try i'd say like something from a peanuts comic but if woodstock had an insatiable bloodthirst #okay i think that just about covers it! thanks darlings #MWAH #receiptify #tag

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here-comes-the-bard · 4 months

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"my favorite romance trope is like. you don't want to hurt me but i am asking you to hurt me." and other things on the nithvinn board that make me go dan howell biting controller tearful edition (op)

#the citrus speaks #healing hands #what's funny is that i actually saw it as a suggestion on the home page #and then it refreshed and i couldn't add it #smth smth inherent intimacy of surgery etc. among other layers that my brain is way too fried to get into #technically you could also apply this to their emotional healing and how they're a part of helping each other with that #see also The Name Talk™#it's more metaphorical and speaking in terms of vulnerability #and in “i am opening myself to you” but like #yeah #that's not a good explanation brain fried #anyway regardless of why it's there i am :yells:#and now i kind of wanna write about the inherent intimacy of surgery but like. as a poem #also hey i just remembered that yaevinn has canonically like...stabilized nithral and saved his life. crazy #which is like “yeah duh” but like no listen i just realized that yaevinn did first aid with what i assume is. very little if any firsthand-#-experience #anyway sorry these tags are a brain dump #idk what i'm talking about XD

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jorvikzelda · 2 years

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I started reading Lord of the Rings (bought Fellowship of the Ring like… last spring but never got around to starting) and I’d just like to say. Holy fuck what a slow book. You mean to tell me I’m over a hundred pages in and this man is only just leaving the Shire? Sign me up for MORE I love this shit. Tolkien said “I will take exactly as much time as I want to describe things and you will like it”. AND I DO

#i can already tell this is the sort of thing that’s going to be so good I’ll never recover from it #I’ve watched the movies like casually-in-the-background a couple times so I know the approximate plot #(they often run on TV somewhere around Christmas and New Year’s in Sweden so they’ve been on more than twice)#but there’s so much detail here that’s just… missed out on… in the films #Or I forgot about it lmfao #Either way loving the book detail #And also reading a book for the first time in months i told my mom id been reading today and she was like YOURE READING?!#It’s part of my social media healing process. Forcing me to like… sit down and take shit in #Used to DEVOUR books when I was younger #Just Kinda Stopped at some point (much like every other former gifted kid)#But it’s a well missed moment of escapism and calm and centering myself. meditative almost #I find lotr to be good also because it’s like… a little heavy. You can read a chapter and then sit with it for a little while #Im not quite reaching the heavy cliffhangers yet either #Each chapter feels pretty concluded #It’s a healthier reading method I feel than the ‘devour in one night then don’t read for 6 months’ thing I did in high school #the few times i DID sit down to read a book #God damn those are some long tags #z talks #not horse game #I feel so late to the party because I always see all these people enjoying lotr ;-; its so established and here am i….#but alas

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calamitydaze · 6 months

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long tag ramble below u have been warned

#ok i feel like i should say Something before i start being active again #but i dont want it to be a Statement which is why i’m putting it in the tags #(also bc i procrastinated doing this for weeks so i know this is a very stale topic by now #but i also haven’t been on tumblr literally at all so this is 100% my organic authentic opinion lmao)#so read if you gaf and ignore if you don’t #anyway: george def could’ve done more to ensure she was comfortable #and as someone who has also gotten in over my head with older men and regretted it #her hurt is valid and i’m deeply sorry she feels the way she does about that night #but with that said i see no reason to believe george Should have known how she really felt #or that he deliberately took advantage of either her youth/inexperience or her discomfort #and that’s the most important thing for me— he fucked up and misread a situation but that doesn’t make him an evil person #and i hope they can both move on and grow and heal #as for my future in the fandom: i honestly dunno how active i’ll be going forward #i was already becoming pretty disconnected so this might’ve just sped up the process? i’m tired of being put through the wringer #but i also don’t really have a fandom to replace this so i might just continue casually participating in the way i have been #either way rest assured i will never become a rabid anti. that shits embarrassing #i got HORRIBLE drolo rsd the other day when tommy’s mom needed clout and vagued him so like if nothing else. droloisms are forever #also as a last thing— this feels kinda silly and self centered to say but i will anyway #sorry for not opening up my blog as a forum for discussion again the way i did with the drituation #i know i helped a lot of people sort out their feelings and that was (and is) really really important to me #but it also tanked my mental health (mostly as a result of the fallout and not the act itself but still)#plus my life irl was pretty stressful at the time when everything was first going down #so i just didn’t feel up to putting myself through that again #but i’m sorry if anyone wanted to discuss w me but wasn’t able to #anyway. i think that’s all i have to say!#i don’t want to turn this into a capital D discussion but as always my askbox and dms are open #love you all tons! i hope you’re having a good day 🫂🫶#bella talks

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johndonneswife · 4 months

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#just need to vent rq lololol #my wedding lehenga came out so freaking beautiful #but it needs to be taken in a lot like. i lost 6 inches on my waist since i initially had it made for my body #and everyone at the shop was like ohh wow good job great you look so great now you look awesome #and my mom was like oh wow good job that’s good you did it #like lol #i wanted to just be like #‘thanks i had to go to iop therapy at an ed center where they literlaly taught me how to eat food. like a toddler. thanks’#like i didn’t lose weight for an intentional reason but thanks for confirming you thought i looked horrible before lolol #idk i have been like every size in the book but seeing how much better ppl treat me when im smaller #i’m just like. :)#if my mom says anything about her body or mine tomorrow i will probably fucking lose it and if you see a woman in nj killing ppl on the news #it’s me. lol #it just really took me out of the experience bc i’m trying sooooo hard to be neutral about my body. and like. i don’t need to hear your #thoughts abt what i look like lmao #whatever my dress is beautiful and i’m so beautiful and i’m excited but i really do think i should be able to hunt ppl for sport #leave me alone #nothing you do can please ppl #when i was 20 and 100 lbs and killing myself and sick and miserable every single day my mom was also just like #wow you look great #meanwhile i was balding and fainting at the gym and failing my college classes bc i was obsessed w my body #text #also look at these cats that are just in luis’s apartment’s hallway like rofl who let them out of their apt!!!! so cute #my mom saying ‘you did it’ as if i was trying to do something made me lol #i wasn’t TRYING to do anything i just am healing my relationship w food and my body #bc i refuse to waste my entire life being bitter and miserable and ashamed of existing #like SOMEONE i know….#anyway this could be you too! if you went to fucking therapy!#i ate ny pizza out of spite after all of this #sorry some of you can’t enjoy a fucking carb !!!!!

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invinciblerodent · 9 months

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apparently act 3 is when I need to push through the desire to start playing a new character, because now that I'm there with Iona too, I'm struck by an intense urge to play this pretty asshole

particularly struck by the thought of how fucked his whole situation must be under that armor

like, being born to druids but with no magic of his own, growing up, he never really needed to learn practical skills like dressing a wound, or anything of the sort (what's the point if your mom can just wave vaguely in your direction and whatever issue you have is gone). But when he left and found himself on his own.... given how stubborn he is, he probably learned all his battle- and survival skills by pure trial and error.

I imagine he has a number of weird and wonky, poorly stitched and awkwardly healed old scars, all over his body. Boken many bones, gotten into weird accidents, and has gotten many a bad infection before, too- really, it's a borderline miracle that he still has not only all his limbs, but all his fingers and toes too.

No wonder that he has 16 con to his (currently) 17 dex and his 8 int; without being preternaturally healthy and hardy, he'd easily be a decade dead. nah, this boy is just rawdogging life, smashing his head against walls and hoping that they'll break before his skull does.

i've played him for only like an hour, and I simultaneously hate and love this asshole cockroach of a man so much already

#oc: petyr wildbrook #squirrel plays bg3 #I feel like every story he tells about himself is going to be met with at least one “..... okay how are you still alive”#like.... “one time I drank from a river and was shitting myself to death for a solid tenday- got better though”#“oh yeah this is just like that time I fell like 50-ish feet off a cliff- yeah I was fine just broke my leg”#“no yeah i just walked home and set it there; it was fine”#“hey wanna see the gnarly scar from when i first tried to sew myself up? yeah I got roaring drunk first; for anesthesia purposes”#“yeah that's why it's so wonky”#“well that and the horrible infection I got from it but after like a tenday of running a 40°C fever it healed fine”#“yeah i just had to reopen it to drain the puss and it was okay”#“oh it was NOT fun lol but hey it did work so who's the idiot”#Shadowheart will have to cradle his face in her hands and tell him very intently that his mantra #of “if it looks stupid but works it's not stupid”#doesn't exactly work that way when it comes to things like. healing.#plot twist it's not the change in her divine allegiances that turned her hair white #she just realized that this man is now officially her boyfriend and went instantly grey

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overuseduniverse · 5 months

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I can't look in the mirror and not think, "what have I done?" every time my eyes notice the scars, which is inevitable since they're all over my skin.

#even underneath my collarbones and along my chest #from shoulders down to my ankles #its hard not to notice them #i think its impossible to not notice them actually #its a small blessing that a lot of them are white now #so in pics and from far away you cant really tell theyre there #it makes me look a little less brutal #a little prettier and a little less grotesque #its a brutal thing to lock eyes with someone then see thrm break it just to glance at my scare #*scars #i don't know what i did to myself and what this was all for in the first place #i got everything i needed. help is readily available to me and ive heard everything i needed to hear #everything i thought would heal the trauma #it didnt. it never did.#so idk what im doing #a #tw sh

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roseville · 2 months

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thought dump

#venting in tags can be soo therapeutic #just a bunch of feelings may not be totally related to each other #sometimes (a lot of the time) theres just this sinking emptiness in my gut. some mixture of loneliness and and self loathing but it also #feels like nothing #part of me is convinced that im hard to love #and i try to compensate by avoiding conflict at all costs and trying to live up to my high moral standards #and i feel so much shame for feeling anger that i try to avoid it but it always bubbles up and gets worse #i wanna be heard i want the people i care about to understand how i feel!!! but i feel like shit for feeling all this and isolate myself #and i wonder why i turn out so resentful and why im struggling to form new connections!!!#feeling like a double edged sword GOD I HATE TALKING ABOUT THESE SYMPTOMS SO MUCH #suspecting (quiet) bpd... but who knows #me when i suffer but i try not to let anyone see even though the Thoughts are swirling in my head constantly and i suffer 10x more #the little things just feel soo big #at least i love hard and try to be kind <3 #trying to heal #brought to you by lena luthor s6 talking to alex about not feeling like part of the team and not feeling like enough of a hero #and trying to atone for her past actions and feeling so horrified at the things she did #i felt that

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illmoraineakoi · 1 year

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Everyone out here giving Hollow cute moth partners, or pretty mantises or bees or whatnot.

Fuck that, where's the AU where Hollow falls in love with a massive feral Wyrm?

#*Long Sigh* I guess I'll have to Do It Myself then #Hollow Knight #Yall are sleeping on this and it's criminal #It's such a funny idea #Tiny quiet and kind Hollow seeing a massive Wyrm just fucking up another Higher Being and going like-#''Oh no she's hot.''#and then like ''whAT DID I JUST THINK?!''#And she's just like...''wtf is this tiny little toothpick doing staring at me? you ain't food gtfo''#Hollow's got the Wyrm Genes that make him think Wyrms are Sexy and he's CONFUSED #But he tries to court her anyway because he's caught the Stupid For Her sickness #And she's annoyed for soooo looong because he won't leave her alone and his attempts at courting her are pathetically laughable.#Until one day she realizes -- ''Oh fUCK I'M IN LOVE WITH THIS IDIOT''#Obligatory 'antagonist tries to hurt/kill Hollow and Wyrm Lady goes absolutely BERSERK on their ass.' idea #But destroying them kills her and Hollow has to watch her die bc Rule of Angst #(He can't heal her. He lost the ability to Focus from containing the Radiance.)#(But he remembers what the King did and tries to desperately get her to do that too. It doesn't seem like it works...)#(But he refuses to leave her body bc he can't bear to loose her so he's there when she violently claws her way out the side of it)#(She collapses-bloody and exhausted-into his arms and greets him with the derisive nickname for him that's turned into an affectionate one)#(And he laughs while weeping tears of void. he laughs in relief and gratitude and love)

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imflyinoveryou · 6 months

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living with em just has me in this irrational , constant oscillation of idealization and genuine resentment and it’s not fair to them nor myself.. i can’t wait to put space between us ! and i can’t wait to have clarity that brings far more love into my relationships with them.

#and everytime i start to feel like they stole my life from me i gotta remember that like; while unfair; they kinda needed me more than i #i needed to (have a life) as dumb as that sounds #cause now they’re still the same broken people and i actually have all the chances in the world that they never did #and that is so fucking heartbreaking cause they deserve the world you know #so i can’t hate them for not knowing how to be parents. they never stood a chance #idk it feels like all of my sacrifices were in vain bc they’re still struggling but at the same time #they’re sincerely healing in real time. it’s cool to see.#it’s all on their own accord though i have had no part to play in that #and it took me all this time to realize it?#im so angry that they molded me into such an obedient and quiet kid who was too scared to do anything for myself #and they never actually needed me but they convinced me and themselves that they did #and I’ve missed out on so much life. granted I am so young and no one is truly responsible but myself for falling for that bullshit #im just grieving. and there’s a lot to grieve man.#anyways I’m gonna go shopping muahahaha

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stoshasaurus · 1 year

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I DID IT !!! I p-ranked the first act of ultrakill for the first time, and made it to minos' boss fight!! :D

#ultrakill #I did it guys I finally p-ranked Gabriel's pussy myself #I've never done it before #it was surprisingly easy #the hardest part was Gabriel's boss fight #I normally have insane style points #like 10-20 thousand #but for his boss fight I was getting like 1800 #which is unusual and was infuriating #because he has a long ass path to get to his boss fight >:(#and it was very tedious to have to keep running through it over and over #never got tired of him yelling at me though #I got partway through the flesh prison fight before feeling my carpal tunnel kick in so I stopped there #its easier than I thought #just tedious #because you have to shoot the tiny eye things to keep it from healing #all the while running away from a black hole and large virtue beams #I can see how it would be annoying #but I didn't get my ass handed to me as many times as I thought #excited to meet minos prime myself for the first time!!! :D

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m4niackkyun · 1 year

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Hi. (Announcement in the tags)

#uhmm...i don't know how to explain this...#so my family has been having a lot of trouble lately #mostly our relationship with our step father #there's been ups and downs..well..more on the downer side. the only main reason my mother married him was because of..well..#money..as trash as that sounds. i can't deny the fact that I've been able to continue my studies due to his financial support.#i don't want to justify anything that i've probably done wrong to him but emotionally right now—i'm simply scarred to the point where—#I don't think I could heal without professional help. I've been struggling a lot with it ever since of what he did #i felt disgusted. dirty. I felt lost. I didn't want to forgive him. maybe this is the punishment i have to endure because I didn't have it—#—in me to forgive him. I know the principles of my religion and it is stated that one must always find forgiveness towards others.#no matter how big their mistake is. but you see—I'm not God. I am human. my kindness isn't as grand and as big as Him.#my patience is limited and so is my forgiveness #that applies the same to my mother. my mother is a very patient person when it comes to her husband. but yet again she isn't an angel—#nor is she God. she is also human and has limits to what she could handle and what she could forgive and forget.#they argued tonight. and I don't think it'll slide or end well like the past arguments. and I'm sorry to say but—#I won't be able to be active all that much either.#without him now I'll probably have to look for part time jobs. which is gonna limit how active I will be here and on my main account #I will probably go into an indefinite hiatus for some time #maybe I'll come back...maybe I won't. hopefully I will. just...pray for me that I have it in me to continue doing what I love and—#—sharing these little bits of what I do in my free time with you.#I won't have the time to reply to anything for the time being. college tests are on the way and I have to prepare myself for—#—the better or worse.#if things go downhill and you don't hear from me for a long while. then this will probably be my last post here.#I'll still be able to reply to messages on other platforms #but I just don't have the emotional stability to talk right now. No it's gonna be fine. I have faith in me and God.#I know that He doesn't put His children into burdens that none of them could handle.#and if He thinks I could handle this. then I will. and I can. He is with me and so is all of your faith.#that puts me in a sense of reassurance a little hahah...#yeah.. so...I'll see you then..bye.

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electriccenturies · 8 months

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inch resting how i am such a nice, normal person up until the point where i get triggered by irl things that feel too much like being on tumblr, and then i lose my cool...

like (now, after a ton of therapy) im totally cool agreeing to disagree, or understanding that someone might have a different worldview but the same underlying beliefs as me, or understanding that the reaction they have to something might be different than mine but not fundamentally incompatible, and understanding that we are closer in our differing beliefs than either of us are to OTHER beliefs even when we disagree on the exact specifics of lefty progressive ideas... but then it gets to the gaslighting 'actually, the society has always been the way we're trying to change it to be, and this all makes perfect obvious sense as objective TRUTH, and you're the weird one if you think it's new or need an explanation because nothing has changed even though it OBVIOUSLY has' or 'actually these people believe [opposite of what they believe] and [deliberate misreading of what they believe]' and i black out 🙃

its a problem. it's an actual panic response or smth and i can't control myself very well when it happens. and also i don't like feeling compelled to censor my observations about the world around me, and i don't like watching others be asked to either. why can't people just acknowledge that they're asking for something new, and then defend it to people who find it confusing? If you can't defend something without lying and/or using emotional manipulation to get people to stop asking, then maybe you need to think it through more??? or at least accept that it's not THE objective truth?

i regularly find myself begging my therapist to tell me if what im saying is a 'normal people' belief or not because my perspective is so, SO skewed from being terminally On Tumblr for 12 years. i used to believe crazy shit, even when i didn't believe it anymore. imagine my shock when i learned that many of the absolute no-nos on this webbed site do not even register as anything to average progressive joe. that many of the strict, important social rules on here are seen as crazy as fuck by people who vote progressive, hold progressive values, but aren't in these no-nuance no-debate no-disagreement echo chambers? god it's confusing.

the world is so much more complicated than anyone wants to admit, it seems...

#i got mental health acted once and the psychiatrist they made me talk to asked where online i spent a lot of time and i said tumblr #and i shit you not she said 'yikes. thats not good.'#like i think the whole internet has been discourse-ified but my god did being on tumblr fuck me up. i know i say that over and over but #ive been actively trying to heal from it for YEARS now and im still struggling!!! and still so easily triggered about it!!! im never free.#i think there just IS an inherent element of compelled belief or requirement to rewrite history to be more convenient in certain circles...#and it doesn't sit well with me in general but the cognitive dissonance i lived with for so long makes it much much worse #because now i'm mentally free but very aware of how much i am being forced to not just be polite (which i'm more than happy to do)#but to actually agree that its true when i have my own beliefs and perspective on the world #and to pretend i don't see things that are happening right in front of my eyes. to pretend nothing has changed. to define MYSELF that way.

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softgrungeprophet · 11 months

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Rating: Explicit

Fandom: Spider-Man (Comicverse)

Relationship: Mac Gargan/Peter Parker

Additional Tags:

Porn Without Plot, T4T, Trans Peter Parker, Trans Mac Gargan

Strap-Ons, Power Dynamics, Breathplay, Asphyxiation, Rough Sex, Vaginal Sex, Consensual But Not Safe Or Sane, Partially Clothed Sex (almost fully in-costume/in-armor), Roof Sex, Bottom Peter Parker*, Hook-Up/Casual Sex

*Peter is 100% a bratty bottom here, fwiw... also like 30 years old. lol.

Words: 5,021

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That's right. You heard me. There's pussy in this. Though I guess we don't actually see what's under the hood of Mac's armor except for his miraculous transforming codpiece/stainless steel dong...

Anyway this is a fic where Spider-Man gets railed by the Scorpion on a rooftop, as a treat for me (and @kitausuret , the ultimate peter/mac cheerleader.)

I made them both trans because I thought it would be fun 😊

and also because of this:

continuing to be on my bullshit/only writing niche porn of niche ships. I'd apologize but I'm not sorry. I DO want to get back to my AU soon, though, but sometimes you need a brain break.

#see i know i won't like most fics other people write w peter bottoming (w/ few exceptions) so i have to do it myself 😂#oh woe is me what a burden 😂😂😂#also this isn't like one of those dubc0n villain x hero fics or anything like that just fyi. peter is a very willing participant.#demanding even #peter parker x mac gargan #arghfic #something something don't try this at home #i know that generally hard dildos like glass or steel are not considered very forgiving or suited to intense thrusting #but also peter is a sadomasochist with superhuman durability and accelerated healing. so. you know.#i did at least TRY to indicate mac wasn't just going full bore with a solid hunk of metal even when he's being rough XD #cause if there's anyone who COULD break peter's pelvis it's mac gargan...#peter will def have some bruises in the morning though...

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