#i didn't want to be sad while i talked to her cause i didnt want my brain to make those associations

[littl-vs]

thinkin about how i was so concerned i didnt love her but i actually have been so happy and giggly while talking to her today

[primaviva]

PAIRING: gwen stacy x fem!reader

SYNOPSIS: gwen has been acting distant lately. first, she started taking longer to reply to your texts, then she became less responsive to your calls, and now you hardly get to see your girlfriend at all. every time you do manage to talk, it feels like she's dreading something yet to come. it's starting to seem pretty obvious to you that gwen doesn't want to be in a relationship with anymore. and maybe you're not too far off from the truth. can she make it up to you though?

WARNING/NOTES: heavy angst with comfort at the end, relationship issues/mentions of breaking up, emotionally unstable and struggling gwen who’s in need of some love, heavy making out and romantic frustration, parents gonna be parents, nothing nasty she’s a minor yall please !! also this isn’t spell checked or grammar checked much it’s too long for allat ENJOY THO

gwen had been distant for a while.

so much has been happening lately in her life, you know that. it’s like she's struggling to keep up with everything life throws at her. every day, gwen just seems more exhausted, drained, and down in the dumps. you can see this look of sadness and hopelessness in her eyes whenever you catch a glimpse of her. you always used to be the one to cheer her up, and she'd even call you her favorite girl. but now, whenever you try to comfort her, talk to her, or even get close, she just avoids it all. it's not just suspicion anymore, it's real worry. the doubts began to creep in. are you not doing enough? did she lose interest? hell, you've even wondered if she found someone else who's more adaptable to her life, even better than you.

but at the end of the day, you just missed her. you found yourself reaching for the clothes she had given you more frequently, slipping into her shirts as you settled into bed or donning her hoodies when stepping out, just like you were doing at that very moment. it was as if her clothes held the power to bridge the distance between you, it always made you feel close to her even when she wasn’t around.

today, you had a list of errands to run, prompted by a last-minute text from your guardians, urging you to pick up essential groceries for the week. as you inhaled deeply, gwen's hoodie enveloped you with her essence. the scent of lavender and vanilla mingled with a hint of something sweet and leathery. it was a fragrance that encapsulated her very

presence, intensifying your ache for her.

it didn’t take long for you to get to the market and pick up what you needed. but as you were heading out, something caught your eye.

it was spiderwoman, gwen, perched on top of a building, looking completely exhausted. she looked tired, like she had just finished thwarting a local crime. the building wasn’t too tall, so you knew she would be able to hear you.

“hey, spider! feels i haven’t seen you in forever,” you shouted up at her, causing her to look down with a startled expression etched on her mask.

“oh uh, hi. i didnt expect to see you. what brought you around?” she questioned, surprise apparent in her tone.

“what? i’m not allowed to go grocery shopping outside my house?” you teased, but it seemed she took it seriously. “sorry… i didn’t mean it like that.”

“i know, gwen,” you reassured her with a small smile, but it faded as you studied her face. the corners of her usual smile when she saw you were drooping. it was as if your presence brought her a sense of dread, and it only deepened the heaviness in your heart. why were you causing her to feel this way?

“hey, um… i can take you home if you want. it's safer that way,” gwen suggested, hopping down from the building and walking towards you. she didn't even meet your gaze; it was like she physically couldn't. her eyes darted to the ground. “oh? how protective of you.”

gwen simply nodded, taking the groceries from you and holding them herself. she wrapped her arm around your waist, and together, you swung through the city back to your place. the wind brushed against your face, your clothes fluttering in the breeze. you glanced up at her, expecting her to look at you with her usual playful smile, teasing you about how fast she swung. but she didn't. she stared ahead, her eyes distant. even behind her mask, you could sense the strain in her eyes, as if she carried an unyielding burden on her shoulders. you could feel her gaze, sensing her stealing glances at you from the corner of her eye. in those stolen moments, she absorbed your beauty, your caring nature, and your love for her, which only made what she was about to do hurt even more. her heart ached.

"is everything okay?" you asked, concern lacing your voice as you tried to gauge where her head was at. however, she remained quiet, completely ignoring you as you drew closer to your destination. sensing her withdrawal, you decided to shift back into the uncomfortable silence and sounds of new york. "let's just focus on getting you home, okay?"

her lack of response only deepened the sense of unease within you. you just couldn't shake the feeling that something was troubling her, something she wasn't ready to share. it was as if a barrier had formed, isolating her from you, and it pained you to witness her distance.

before you knew it, you arrived at your place. she safely dropped you off inside and handed you the grocery bag. gwen turned to leave, but you quickly grabbed her hand. she was about to walk away, without saying a word to you.

“can you stay? just for a little?” you asked, your voice carrying a heartfelt plea. holding onto her hand, you gently tugged, motioning for her to come inside.

as she stepped through the doorway, her tall figure lowered, and then rose again. an anxious air filled the room, and you couldn't help but feel your heart race. she stood there, looking down at you, her face still obscured by the mask, but you could sense her deep ocean eyes staring right into yours. it was as if the weight of unspoken words lingered between you, begging to be acknowledged.

for a moment that felt like an eternity, the silence enveloped you both. the intensity of the unspoken emotions hung in the air, and you wondered if she would finally let the walls around her heart crumble.

as the silence lingered between you, gwen finally spoke, her voice carrying a tinge of detachment. "alright, i can stay for a little bit," she conceded, her words lacking their usual warmth. gwen took her mask off and leaned against your wall, and it looked as if she hated every minute that was going to come. she attempted to bridge the gap by asking generic questions, trying to maintain a semblance of normalcy. "so, how was your day? anything interesting happen?"

but the tension became too much for you to bear. frustration welled up inside you, and you couldn't suppress it any longer. “gwen, please, we need to talk,” you announced firmly, your voice tinged with a mix of concern and exasperation. you needed to confront her about her behavior, to understand what was truly troubling her.

gwen's eyes widened slightly, and a flicker of apprehension crossed her face while her body suddenly tensed. you haven’t even asked her anything yet and her body language already betrayed the inner turmoil she was trying to hide.

"what's really going on with you?" you pressed, your voice filled with a mixture of frustration and concern. "first, you started spending less and less time with me. then you stopped texting, and eventually, you stopped calling altogether. you're being so distant, and i can't understand why. i don't even see you anymore. gwen, talk to me, please."

gwen took a deep breath, her voice trembling slightly as she responded, "i... i don't know. i've been struggling lately, and it's just been a lot, okay?"

your heart ached, feeling the weight of her words and sensing the depth of her pain. but you couldn't let her vague answer slide. the frustration bubbled up within you, pushing you to make your own feelings known. "no, gwen, it's not okay, miss me with that!" you exclaimed, your voice tinged with desperation. "you can't keep being vague and shutting me out. we can't expect this relationship to work if you won't let me in. i know you, and i can tell when you're hurting. when you're struggling, i want to be there for you, but you don't let me. why? i just want to be there for you, to see you, and you refuse to let me!"

the words hung in the air, the tension between you palpable. before you could reach out to comfort her, gwen's next words burst forth with unexpected force, as if they had been bottled up inside her for far too long. "well, maybe we need to break up!"

her words hit you like a sudden blow, knocking the wind out of you. the intensity and impulsiveness of her statement took you aback, leaving you momentarily speechless. in truth, it startled you. her voice raised involuntarily, the words tumbling out before she could fully process them. it was as if she had unintentionally unleashed the bottled-up thoughts she so desperately tried to keep from you. but as the shock subsided, a surge of determination coursed through you. you couldn't let her push you away without a fight.

"no, gwen, we can't just throw it all away like that," you responded, your voice shaky with a mix of hurt and resolve. "i refuse to believe that breaking up is the answer. we've faced challenges before, we're a team, remember? we can work through this, but we need to communicate, to be honest with each other. don't give up on us so fucking easily,” you spoke, but it sounded like a demand for her not to just dispose of everything you both have.

silence hung heavy in the air.

gwen's fists clenched as she leaned against the wall, her back turned to you. "i'm sorry, but i can't continue like this with you," she said, her voice filled with a mix of determination and sorrow. "the city needs me, and i can't prioritize you the way you deserve."

she turned to face you, her hands gesturing passionately as she tried to explain herself. "i'm spider-woman, and this is who i am. it gives me a sense of purpose, a responsibility to protect people. but it also means my life is in chaos, torn between so many different obligations. breaking up is the best way to protect both of us from hurt."

gwen can't stand arguments, and the thought of hurting you crushes her. she knows she'll never love anyone as much as she loves you, but she's stuck and unsure about what to do. her life feels like a total mess, with a million things pulling her in different directions. how can she be spider-woman and still be with you? and honestly, she's not even sure if she's being selfish by considering a breakup. her brain keeps telling her it's the best way to protect both of you from getting hurt. but deep down, her heart screams at her to stop overthinking and just hold you tight.

you looked at her, shock evident on your face as tears welled up in your eyes. wiping your tears with your hoodie, you tried to keep your composure. "do you really mean that? you want to break up just like that, without even considering other options?" you asked, the hurt and confusion evident in your voice.

gwen snapped, her words sharp but tinged with regret. "i do mean it! you have to understand that as long as i'm spider-woman, our relationship will never work out. i'm sorry, okay? i love you more than anyone else."

tears streamed down gwen's cheeks as she despised herself and the situation she found herself in. her voice choked with emotion, she pleaded, "please, don't make this harder than it already is."

you raised your voice in frustration but quickly regained your composure. "how can you ask me not to make it harder? do you hear how you're talking to me?" you said, your tone filled with a mixture of annoyance and concern. "i love you, gwen. i wanted to be by your side. why should you have to go through this alone?" cupping her cheeks, you wiped away her tears with your thumb.

gwen sobbed, her voice trembling with sadness. "i know you do. and you would be by my side, but i can't bear the thought of you getting hurt..."

that was the crux of the matter. gwen couldn't bear to see those she cared about in danger. she had witnessed the pain and loss that came with her superhero life, and she couldn't bear to risk hurting you too. she pulled you close, embracing you tightly with all her strength. "i'm sorry, it's just... it's for you," she cried.

"for me?" you whispered, your heart aching. "but this isn't what i want..." you hugged her back, standing on your tiptoes to reach her height. "gwen, you can't let the weight of your past losses consume you. you say this is for me, but it's not what i want. i want to be with you, to support you."

gwen's voice cracked as she spoke through her tears. "but what i want is for you to be safe. i am really sorry. please don't try to convince me otherwise, it will only hurt me even more."

gwen may project strength and confidence, but deep down, she feels anything but strong. every word she speaks right now fills her with self-hatred. she believes that breaking up is truly for the best, as she wishes to shield you from the chaos of her life.

"it's really for the best," you muttered, your voice tinged with uncertainty. your eyes were red and puffy, and you pulled away slightly, nervously playing with your hoodie as you gazed up at her.

seeing your pain only intensifies gwen's own anguish. she fights back tears desperately. "it will be. i'll always love you, i promise," she whispers, holding your face gently, her eyes fixated on your swollen, red eyes that only deepen her sadness. "you'll find someone better than me, i know you will."

"please don't say that," you respond, your voice trembling as you struggle to hold back sobs. "i don't want someone else. i want you, gwen. nobody has ever understood me the way you do. every relationship has its challenges, but that's normal. i just want to be with you through it all. please don't push me away because you're scared."

and that's exactly what she's doing, pushing you away out of fear. fear of your pain, fear of her own emotions, fear of her feelings for you. gwen is overwhelmed with emotions in this moment, and your declaration of love and your belief that no one could be better for you only intensify the guilt she already carries.

"please stop," she whispers, tears streaming down her face. "there's nothing you can say to change my mind."

this is much harder than she anticipated. she thought she could simply utter those five devastating words and walk away, but she can't help but savor what might be her last moments with you. gwen locks eyes with you, torn between her heart and her mind. her mind tells her that keeping you away is the only way to protect you, but her heart yearns for the warmth of your embrace.

"we'll still see each other, i just..." she struggles to finish her sentence, tears cascading down her cheeks. she gently tries to create distance between you, despising herself for even desiring it. loving you more than anything doesn't necessarily mean she should have you; if anything, it seems to suggest that she should stay away.

"i'm so scared," she whispers, closing her eyes tightly as she holds you close. "i'm scared of all the wrong things. my mind races, imagining all the things that could go wrong. i don't want to be in a relationship where i have to choose between you and what i need to do."

she lets out a deep sigh. "it's just... my life never seems to get any easier, and i don't want to drag you down with me."

she desperately tries to convince herself that she's making the right choice, but deep down, she's failing. seeing you standing there before her breaks her heart, not only because of what she's about to do, but because it's the first time she's been this close to you in a while. it's different from the times she watched you from a distance as spider-woman because she missed you. no, not at all. you're right in front of her, and she yearns for you so intensely. yet, she can't help feeling that it's wrong for her to want you.

"life isn't supposed to get easier," you say weakly, your voice filled with sincerity. "that's why we have people who support us." cupping her cheek, you gently tilt her head to meet your gaze. "i know you're scared. i know you've been through a lot... but you're not going to drag me down with you, gwen. don't push away everyone you love. don't push me away. you don't have to face this alone. we're in this together... that's what a relationship is."

gwen stares at you, tears streaming down her face. her heart races, and her body trembles. she's never felt so torn in her entire life. what can she say? you're right. why is she trying so hard to push you away? is it truly to protect you or is it to protect herself? the latter thought resonates with gwen the most. the idea of having someone to lean on, someone to share the burden with, it's intoxicating.

"i-" she stutters, her voice unsteady. stuttering is not something typical of gwen. what you're saying means everything to her. you're expressing what she desperately wanted to hear.

"i know, i know," gwen sobs. "but there are too many 'buts.' i won't have time to see you, i'll be constantly worried about your safety, i'll have to cancel plans, and i won't be able to fully be present in our relationship anymore." tears continue to stream down gwen's cheeks as she pours out her fears. "i've lost so many people, and i can't bear the thought of hurting the few i have left..."

she locks her gaze with your tear-filled eyes. "i just don't want... to hurt you." gwen can't bring herself to say the rest. she can't vocalize her deepest fears, dreading that they might become a reality.

gwen walks past you and sits on your bed, her legs spread out slightly as she cradles her head in her hands, taking a deep breath. "i'm sorry," she mutters softly, her words muffled by her hands.

"don't apologize, gwen. none of this is your fault. you have to stop blaming yourself. we can get through this together, okay? remember, i'm your girlfriend, and i'm not going anywhere."

you approach her, positioning yourself between her legs at the edge of the bed, lifting her face to meet yours. without a second thought, you lean in and kiss her.

in that moment, time seems to slow down. gwen feels as if her heart stops beating, only to start again in the next instant.

gwen kisses you back, her body releasing the pent-up relief she has longed for. she had been scared, pushing you away when all she truly desired was to be loved by you. your words and your kiss make her feel safe. the kiss feels like pure magic. she feels your lips lingering against hers, and she can't help but smile ever so slightly.

"i thought... i thought i was alone, but... i was wrong," she whispers, her arms enveloping you in a tight embrace. in this moment, she feels an overwhelming happiness with you that she never knew existed. it's been a while since she felt this way, since the last time she saw you.

gwen loves you, and you love her. amidst the chaos surrounding them, there's no reason to push everyone away when she can pull them closer. "i love you," she manages to say, her voice weak. "and i'm so scared of losing you, of being alone. but... i'm going to try," she promises, holding you tightly.

she's deeply in love with you, and her mind is finally aligning with her heart's perspective.

"i love you too," you respond, pressing your forehead against hers. "all you have to do is try, and i'll be right here, ready to lend you my shoulder to lean on."

as you hold her close, gwen allows her mask to slip, surrendering to the overwhelming emotions. she cries into your shoulder, clinging onto you tightly. "can i... stay at your place tonight? i don't want to sleep alone," she pleads, holding onto you desperately. "i just want to be with you so badly, please."

blushing at her words, you feel relieved that you were able to talk her out of her impulsive behavior. "of course, i'll stay with you, gwen," you assure her, leaning in to peck her lips.

she looks like an emotional mess, and you can't help but feel remorse for not fully understanding the toll being spider-woman had taken on her. you knew it was a heavy burden, but you didn't grasp the extent of it. "would you like another hug?" you ask, offering a smile.

"yes, please," gwen responds desperately, reaching out her arms and pulling you closer until your bodies are pressed against each other, allowing you to feel every heartbeat, every breath. “a hug would be really nice right now.”

the feeling of being tightly held by her girlfriend is all she craves at this moment, the feeling of being home.

"i'm sorry, i just... i just love you so much that i thought i had to let you go," gwen confesses, her voice filled with remorse. "i'm sorry, i'm so sorry. it's just... i feel like i'm going to crack in two. spider-woman and gwen stacy, they're both pulling me in different directions... i don't know how to find balance."

your heart breaks upon hearing her words. it pains you to know that gwen feels so lost and alone, and that she was scared to open up about it.

"you can't balance two things that are the same," you explain gently. "we can't always find perfect balance in our lives. it's about learning to live with it. if you felt this way, we could've talked about it, or i could've simply been there to hug you in silence... why didn't you tell me?"

bringing up the topic of communication is painful, as it was her lack of communication that sparked this entire conflict.

"because!" gwen practically explodes in her attempt to defend herself. "because i... i'm scared." she stands up from the bed, looking you in the eye. "i didn't want to be a burden, someone you had to 'deal with.' i wanted to be there for you, but i'm always stuck being spider-woman. that's why it hurts so much. i don't want it to be the only part of me, but it is. i'm scared of having these problems, scared that they will push you away. i was afraid that telling you these things would make everything worse... i'm only realizing now that if i'm going to have any chance at a successful relationship, i have to be open and honest, even if it scares me." she takes a deep breath, walking around the room as she searches for the right words. "i was so afraid of expressing how i felt, what these overwhelming emotions meant, and most of all... i was terrified of you breaking my heart."

you listen intently, absorbing every word that falls from her lips.

"i was just so scared of everything, and i didn't expect you to be so amazing about it, like you are right now," gwen admits with a dry laugh. "i guess that makes me a bad girlfriend, doesn't it?"

gwen's tearful sniff subsides, and she wipes away her tears once more. "i know you're going to hate me for this, but if this becomes too much, and you get exhausted with me, promise you'll tell me," she says, her voice filled with uncertainty.

"i can't promise you that, gwen," you respond, your voice filled with love and reassurance. "because i'll never get exhausted being by your side. i'll always be your number one supporter... and groupie," you add, attempting to lighten the mood with a playful tease.

she chuckles at your words, a genuine laugh escaping her lips. "yeah? at least now i know who my number one fan is," she jokes, a light smile gracing her lips. the weight of guilt that had burdened her for weeks begins to lift as she realizes that talking to you is making her feel better than ever. she's starting to believe that together, you can make the relationship work.

looking up at you, gwen's eyes turn serious, peering into yours with intensity. "promise?" she asks, her voice filled with desperation, but not in a way that seeks pity. she simply yearns for reassurance and comfort. "promise me that i'll never just... be another problem in your life, something that drags you down or forces you to do more than you want to? i know you'd never truly get exhausted by me, but i understand that the pressures of being in a relationship can feel overwhelming at times."

her doubt-filled voice tugs at your heart. you want to erase all the insecurities and doubts that haunt her mind, but you also know that she must learn to stand on her own. after all, she is spider-woman.

"gwen, i will always be patient with you. i want to be by your side, and you can tell me anything, you know that," you reassure her, reaching out to touch her, your hands gently holding the sides of her neck.

as gwen sees your smile, her heart races with joy. in this moment, she feels more alive than ever before.

"my girlfriend is patient, amazing, and gorgeous..." gwen whispers, her eyes glancing at your lips as you giggle at her comment. "i love you," she says softly, leaning in to kiss you, her hands cupping your face. "i'm sorry for acting this way. if i'm honest, i think i'm the crazy one for pushing you away. i don't know what i would do without you. i'm so sorry for everything. it feels like all i've done is apologize to you."

gwen longs for your embrace, for your hands to caress her hair. the past few minutes have been a nightmare, and all she wants is to be close to you, to share the same breath. unable to contain herself any longer, she kisses you again, her hands reaching out for you as she pulls you closer, trying to make up for all the emotions she had kept inside. you kiss her back, your arms around her neck pulling her closer, feeling her chest against yours.

"you're so perfect... i can't stress that enough," gwen murmurs, looking into your eyes with deep affection. she nestles herself into your arms, embracing you tightly. "i can't imagine being with anyone else. i've never felt this way about anyone before. thank you for waiting for me, for putting up with me."

"i love you too, gwen. but you don't have to thank me for loving you. it's not a job; i love you because you're you," you reassure her, running your hands through her hair.

"i know, i know," gwen says, her voice quieter and softer. "sorry, i think i'm just emotionally drained. it's all starting to settle in." she takes a few deep breaths to calm herself. "but you're right. i'll work on finding a balance between gwen and spider-woman. and... thank you, for everything. i love you so much... you're so patient with me."

"we're going to get through this together, alright? you're not alone, i promise you. as long as i'm here, you'll never be alone," you declare to gwen.

"thank you, really..." she says in a quieter, softer voice. "i'm feeling kind of good about this now. i feel like everything will just work out, you know? like a weight is lifted off my shoulders." she smiles, her lips gently pressing against yours.

gwen's desire and longing for you intensify as she gazes into your eyes, her voice filled with a mix of passion and vulnerability. "i've missed you so much, and now that we're finally together, i want to make it up to you," she whispers, her hands still wrapped around your waist, pulling you closer.

you feel a surge of warmth and affection as you listen to her words. your love for gwen is unwavering, and you want to reassure her that she's not a bad girlfriend, despite her doubts. you place your hands gently on her chest, looking deeply into her eyes, and speak softly, "gwen, don't let this make you feel like you're a bad girlfriend. you aren't, and i mean that. everyone has their bad moments, but they pass. you've been a good girlfriend, the best i could've ever asked for."

curiosity fills your voice as you ask her how she wants to make it up to you. your eyes lock with hers, and you can sense the tenderness and desire in her gaze. the air crackles with anticipation, and you can feel the room narrowing down to just the two of you.

gwen doesn't respond with words. instead, she smiles and leans in closer, her lips almost brushing against yours. your heart flutters, and a wave of heat rushes through your body. the intensity in her eyes and the closeness between you both create an electrifying atmosphere.

your cheeks flush with warmth as you feel a mix of flustered emotions. you can't help but confess, "i mean every word of what i've told you, gwen. i could never love you any less."

without hesitation, gwen presses her body against yours, her hands against the wall, trapping you in her embrace. the tension between you builds, and your eyes remain locked as you wait for her next move.

"i love you too," she murmurs, her face reddening. her hands gently move to caress your cheeks, and your lips are tantalizingly close. gwen's breathing becomes heavier, and you can sense the rapid thumping of her heart. "so much."

she closes her eyes briefly, then opens them again, leaning in closer. gwen sighs, her lips meeting yours in a deep, passionate kiss. the sound of her slow-paced pants fills your ears, heightening the intensity of the moment. time seems to stand still as your lips finally connect, your love reaching its pinnacle. gwen holds you tightly, her body tense with desire, her face flushed with excitement. the taste of her lips leaves you feeling intoxicated, dizzy, and filled with overwhelming happiness.

this is for you. you deserve this, and so does she.

gwen wants to give you everything, and she pours her heart and soul into this kiss. her fingers intertwined with your hair, pulling you closer, wanting to be as close to you as possible.

a soft moan escapes your lips, mirroring the pleasure that gwen feels. her smile widens within the kiss, and she whimpers softly, completely lost in the moment. every sense is overwhelmed by your touch, and she can't imagine a world without your love. you are her everything.

reluctantly, gwen breaks the kiss, her eyes still locked on yours. her lips are flushed with the heat of the moment, and she bites them with a mix of desire and anticipation. her fingers continue to run through your hair, her touch filled with longing and a yearning to explore every part of you.

"i missed you," she whispers, her voice filled with longing and desperation as her heart races against yours. the sound of rain outside creates a serene backdrop, punctuated only by your labored breathing.

gently, you reach up and stroke the side of gwen's face with your hand, your touch a soothing balm against her worries. "i missed you too, gwen," you admit, your voice filled with sincerity. "i wish i had known how you were feeling, but i'm here now, and so are you."

gwen nods in response, her eyes reflecting a familiar self-critical nature that she often carries as both gwen stacy and spider-woman. she has spent so much time fighting and trying to save the world that she neglected her own needs and the needs of those closest to her. she has a tendency to push people away, always opting to face challenges alone.

"i didn't think you'd understand," she replies, her voice catching in her throat. "i've spent so much time running away, keeping everything to myself because i was so scared. it’s like everything is collapsing on me all of a sudden."

you offer a reassuring smile as gwen speaks, your touch providing her with a sense of comfort and relief. before you can respond, she continues, not pausing to let you interject.

"i wish i could be more open like you," she whispers, her words filled with determination. "i promise to change that, to be more honest. i want to be spider-woman and gwen, and i vow to never push you away because of it. you're mine, and i'm yours. you'll always be my number one. please don't ever forget that."

moved by her words, gwen leans in to kiss you once again, feeling the flutter of butterflies in her stomach as your lips meet. your love makes her feel safe, anchoring her and reminding her of who she truly is without the weight of spider-woman. with you, she is simply gwen stacy, and your love restores her sense of self.

"i wish i was a better girlfriend," she confesses, her voice barely above a whisper, but close enough for you to hear.

"gwen," you whisper in return, searching for the words that will bring her comfort. "nobody expects perfection in a relationship. ups and downs are normal, and you've been going through so much on your own. don't be too hard on yourself. i love you, and i'm here for you."

her mind is a whirlwind of thoughts and emotions, and she buries her head into your shoulder, seeking solace in your embrace. her tears fall onto your arms, and she holds you tighter, finding solace and strength in your presence.

"you're right," she sighs, her voice tinged with a mix of relief and vulnerability. "i just don't want to disappoint you. but things are changing; i promise. i love you so much. you mean everything to me."

you can sense that gwen has more to say, her thoughts jumbled and unorganized. with a gentle touch, you brush her loose hairs behind her ear and encourage her to open up further.

"talk to me, gwen. that's why i'm here," you say, offering her a safe space to express herself.

gwen takes a deep breath, her voice trembling as she continues, "i've been pulling away from you for the past few months, neglecting our relationship. i was afraid of losing you or hurting you, so i distanced myself. i've been doubting myself, questioning if i can be spider-woman, your girlfriend, and still be gwen stacy. what if i fall short? what if…”

tears well up in gwen's eyes once again, she can’t even finish her thoughts. she doesn’t want to fall short but what if she does? just like all the other times? she clings to you, afraid of losing the connection you share.

"i never want to let go of you," she whispers, her voice filled with remorse. "i'm sorry for being such a mess."

as you listen attentively to gwen's words, a se se understanding and empathy wash over you. you realize that she needs your unwavering support, and your ready to provide that.

"did you act that way because you wanted me to break up with you first? or did you just not realize how distant you were being?" you asked, your voice filled with confusion and hurt. "it really hurt me. you avoided my texts and calls, and you stopped coming to see me as often. i didn't know what i did wrong. i didn't know if you lost feelings for me, found someone else, or what was going on."

gwen quickly shook her head, her eyes filled with concern. "no, no... never that," she replied, her voice urgent. "i would never want to make you feel bad. you did nothing wrong. i didn't lose feelings for you and i definitely didn’t find somebody else. it was just me, you know? i'm the problem."

you gently cupped her face and drew her closer, your touch offering comfort. "gwen, you're not a problem to me. but please, tell me, did you want me to break up with you?"

gwen took a moment, her breathing uneven as she tried to gather her thoughts. slowly, she nodded, her face flushing with embarrassment as she began to understand the impact of her actions.

"yeah, i wanted you to break up with me," she admitted, her words coming out hastily. "i pushed you away because i thought it would be best for both of us. please don't think i cheated on you, though. i would never do that to you," she explained, her gaze fixed on the floor.

gwen looked away, tears welling up in her eyes once again. "i just felt this immense pressure, and i couldn't keep fighting everything. but i also couldn't just give up. so i kept it all inside, pretending to be okay, hoping it would all be fine. i've seen what happens to people close to me, and i didn't want that for you. i held back so that you wouldn't have to witness spider-woman taking over. i should've explained what i was feeling instead of trying to protect you in my own misguided way."

her words became muddled as tears threatened to overcome her. the thought of you being hurt because of her actions was unbearable.

you nodded slowly, taking in gwen's perspective and the reasons behind her behavior. it was bittersweet to hear that she now understood the mistake she had made and the importance of open communication.

"so, when you realized i wasn't going to break up with you, you decided you needed to end it yourself?" you asked, studying her face intently.

"i... i guess you could say that," gwen replied, her body tensing up. she fell silent, unsure of what to say or do. the weight of her actions finally settling upon her.

"you deserved to be with someone better, someone less selfish, and someone who wasn't constantly busy saving the world. i wanted you to be happy and safe, so i thought..." gwen's voice trailed off, hoarse with shame at her inability to effectively communicate her feelings. "i thought letting you go would make that happen."

gwen swallowed back the lump in her throat, her words filled with a mixture of pain and regret. "i'm just so used to hiding everything from everyone, even you. i couldn't see a way out... i felt like no matter what decision i made, i would end up losing you. either physically or emotionally. it felt too dangerous to stay together, yet pushing you away would ruin us. i felt trapped, and i thought it would be best for both of us. i thought you would end up hating me. but you've been so... so good to me, and you've shown me patience when i needed it most."

you let out a deep sigh, your mind racing. how did you not notice the burden she had been carrying? you had been there for gwen on her difficult days, but somehow, you had missed the weight she bore alone every time she sought solace in you, every time she climbed through your window at night. gwen noticed the distant look in your eyes as you grappled with your own feelings.

"i'm sorry," she whispered, her voice filled with remorse. "you're so patient, so perfect... i don't want to lose you. it wasn't right for me to break up with you like that. you don't deserve that."

she desperately wanted to fix the situation, to make you feel okay again, but she felt lost, unsure of how to proceed.

"and you thought pushing me away would make me lose interest?" you responded, a hint of disbelief in your voice, considering the depth of your connection and the challenges you had overcome together. all the times gwen had comforted you with your issues or saved you from yourself. it was almost amusing to think you would ever lose interest in gwen. "i'm almost offended that you believed that would be enough to make me give up on you and what we have."

as you spoke, you could see gwen's world collapsing upon itself, her struggle to comprehend how you could still love her after she had pushed you away.

"yeah, i know it sounds ridiculous," she admitted, her voice tinged with self-realization. "i should have seen all this time how much you've been there for me, how important i am to you. but it was only when i pushed you away that i realized just how much i truly need you," she confessed, her vulnerability laid bare. "i wanted to spare both of us the pain and struggle of my double life. i was thinking of you, but i didn't consider your feelings at all. i thought by cutting myself out of your life, i could rid you of spider-woman and the complications that come with me. i wanted to protect you from myself, from the mess that engulfs my life. and that was so wrong of me."

gwen closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "i thought you deserved better," she said in a quiet voice, her words heavy with regret. "i thought i would be this dark cloud over your life, constantly bringing you down. but i want our relationship to be better. i want to be better for you. i don't want to keep hurting you."

her hands slowly move up to your chest, fingers digging into your clothes as if wanting to feel you.

“but gwen-” you try to speak, you try to reassure her and comfort her, but she isn’t having none of it. “but nothing! i was trying to think of a way to let you go without hurting you. i thought... if i acted cold, distant, you would lose interest in me. you should have someone that doesn't stress you out and keep you awake at night just because of her issues."

she withdrew from your embrace, her movements tentative, as if trying to calm the storm of thoughts swirling in her mind.

"this is why i feel like such a mess," she whispered, her voice barely audible. "i can't think clearly, i can't find the right words, and i'm so afraid... afraid of losing you, afraid of failing, afraid of failing you. i don't have all the answers because i'm scared. i'm truly sorry."

"you shouldn't have burdened yourself like this, gwen. you shouldn't have caused us both pain. we are stronger together, you know that," you reassured her, reaching out to hold her hand, offering a gentle squeeze. "you have been an incredible girlfriend to me. can't you see that? we all have our flaws, but you have always been there for me, caring for me, making me feel loved and truly myself. there is no one else i could ever desire."

with hesitation, you leaned in, rising up to her height and tenderly kissed her, conveying the depth of your sincerity and gratitude. it was a kiss that symbolized your unwavering commitment, showing her how much she meant to you and how fervently you desired her by your side.

those few words are just what gwen needed. all the doubt inside that plagued her mind were casted away as you kissed her, pressing your lips against hers. your words

a gasp escaped gwen's lips as she felt the tender connection, her arms instinctively wrapping around you, holding you tightly. the kiss was a balm to her soul, so exquisite and intoxicating that it made her question how she could have caused you so much pain. your words alone had the power to break down her defenses, and your kiss was a testament to the depth of your affection.

"i'm so sorry," she whispered, her voice filled with remorse, as she clung to you. "i don't know what's wrong with me. i wanted to make you happy, but i kept running away. i feel so stupid. i wish i had just told you this sooner. can you forgive me?”

gwen's body presses against yours, her fingers interlacing with yours as she tries to calm herself down.

"i don't want to be spider-woman right now. i just want to be gwen stacy... your gwen stacy,” she said, staring you deeply in the eye as she leaned closer to you.

“gwen,” you said softly, “i already forgave you. i understand you and why you do the things you do and i’ll accept and love every part of it. spider and gwen, both of you are mine.”

she is utterly speechless, so much so that she wraps both her arms around you, hugging you tightly. a smile slowly spreads across her face as you speak, your words touching every part of her. it's funny how you managed to forgive her for everything. if only she was able to forgive herself. her cheeks light up red, smiling back at you. she felt so stupid, so dumb for pushing you out in the first place, and she's so relieved that you forgive her.

"really? even if i pushed you away and kept you from the love you deserved?" gwen asks, needing to hear the truth from you. "or when i was constantly thinking about spider-woman? when i was avoiding you, not giving you the emotional support you deserve?"

gwen sounded like a broken record, still taken aback at how you gave her so much time and understanding. if you could still love her after all of this, after she hurt you so many times, she couldn't tell you how much she felt she didn't deserve your love. just when she thought her relationship with you was ruined forever, gwen was finding a new reason to hold on to hope.

“you’re both of those people gwen, and i love you. no matter what, i’m gonna be there for you. i know you go through a lot, let me be by your side and make it better, okay? because i want to,” you reassured her.

"i love you," she whispers in a hushed tone. "i'm sorry for being distant, i'm sorry for hurting you every time i put my life as spider-woman before our relationship. but you're right, spider and gwen are one. they're both a part of me.. and i want you to love all parts of me.”

the feeling was euphoric. gwen knew that she could never repay you for forgiving her, nor could she even imagine what her life would be like without you in it. she hugs you tightly, not wanting to let go.

"i want to make it up to you. right here, right now," gwen whispered softly, her voice brushing against your ear as her hands found their place around your waist, gently pulling you closer to her.

"it's been too long since i've seen you," you admitted, your voice filled with yearning for gwen. it's been so long since you seen her and since you’ve been so close. you wanted to feel her touch, to be enveloped by her love.

"i know, i feel the same way," gwen whispers. "but, can i make it up to you regardless?"

there's a slight pause.

gwen moved a strand of hair aside, her breath shaky, and her eyes darting back and forth. her cheeks grow pinker, the butterflies in her stomach turning into something else entirely.

“don’t feel entitled to do any…thing,” you tried to speak, but the words got caught in your throat and you began to lose track of what you were saying.

gwen was distracting, and the way she was looking at you wasn’t helping. as the room settled into a hushed stillness, the only sounds were the measured rhythm of her breaths and the intensity of her gaze, brimming excitement.

maybe it was the pent-up frustration of not being together for so long, maybe it was the rush of adrenaline coursing through your veins in this moment, or maybe it was the realization of just how deeply gwen's love for you ran.

gwen smiles at your words. she knows you've missed her, and she's missed you too. the blonde leans in closer, her hand on the back of your neck.

"i want to show you how much i appreciate you being here for me. and how much i love you right now,” she speaks up amongst the silence.

this might be the first time you've seen gwen this vulnerable, this exposed. her voice is quiet and her eyes look away, but her body is moving closer. her fingertips make their way down to your lips, grazing them lightly. "let me show you.."

you inhale, your mind feeling dizzy. god, the effect she had on you. you don’t want gwen to be hard on herself, to make her feel like she needs to make it up to you when she is the one struggling. but you could tell gwen wanted this too, she wanted to kiss you. the magnetic pull of her body to yours, the way her lips began to part the closer she got to your mouth, the way the muscles in her arms flexed as she began to hold you tighter.

"then show me," you mustered every ounce of bravery within you, determined to deflect the shyness that tinged your being. gwen's fingertips continued to trace the outline of your plush lips, her gaze locked with yours, as you issued the plea. "show me, gwen."

without a moment's hesitation, gwen closed the distance between you, her hands gently drawing you closer by the waist. the suddenness of her actions caught you off guard as she pressed you against the wall, her lips meeting yours with an intensity that eclipsed anything you had ever experienced before. passion surged through every fiber of your being in that electrifying moment, leaving you breathless and consumed by the sheer force of her affection.

her lips found yours and that's all you needed.

a wave of absolute euphoria washed over you, erasing all the problems and concerns that had previously weighed on your minds. in this moment, there were no worries, just the two of you, lost in each other's embrace. gwen's fingers delicately threaded through your hair, pulling you closer to her. her kisses grew more intense, and her grip on your back tightened as her lips ventured along the path of your neck.

the room seemed to spin, as if the rest of the world had faded into insignificance compared to the intensity of the connection you shared. gwen held you tightly, her kisses a tender exploration of desire and longing. the heat of her lips against yours ignited a fire within, as she trailed her kisses upward, tracing the contours of your neck.

as the intoxicating moment unfolded, you noticed a change in gwen's breathing, a rhythm that became short and choppy.

her lips are back to your mouth, gently holding your neck and leaning you against the wall as she kisses you in place firmly.

as the intensity of the kiss escalated, your hands instinctively gripped gwen's triceps, seeking stability amidst the overwhelming sensations that engulfed your being. the sheer power of the connection made it feel as if your mind was melting, lost in a haze of desire. a soft moan escaped your lips, echoing against gwen's mouth, making her whimper in response to the vibration.

her body tensed, caught between wanting to slow down and give you a moment to breathe, yet unable to resist the overwhelming surge of emotions coursing through her. gwen's sense of self began to blur as your touch elicited a kaleidoscope of sensations within her. the palpable tension between you two hung in the air, thick with longing.

she continued kissing you, pulling you closer into the embrace of her body. your forms melded together, radiating heat that spread through your entire being. your heart pounded within your chest, its rhythm matching the quickening pace of your breaths. it felt as though nothing else in your lives had ever held such significance.

the world around you faded into insignificance, and all that mattered was the connection you shared, an escape from the hardships of life.

gwen pulls back from you ever-so-slightly to catch her breath. she still has her hands gripping into your hair, but now her eyes are locked on yours. "god... i love you, you know that?”

gwen's mind was starting to blank, the only thing that was on it was you. your eyes, your lips, your touch. she was getting lost in you.

"i love you, i love you, i love you," she whispers out, her voice catching on her breathe as your hands grip her tighter.

“i know you love me,” you reply to her, your hands finding their way to gwen's neck as you caress her gently. “i love you just as much.”

gwen can't describe how she feels right now. finally, she feels free. she can be herself. all she wants is to be with you. she can't believe you're willing to forgive her, can't understand how you have all of this patience and understanding for her. in her eyes, you were too good, she questioned whether she truly deserved the love and compassion you showered upon her. she's not sure she deserves you. but you guys haven’t kissed in so long, and she can’t get enough of it.

"come here.." gwen whispers, pulling you back towards her for another kiss.

her kisses grew more fervent, her lips pressing deeply against yours with a hunger that matched the intensity of her desire. every fiber of her being came alive, sensations coursing through her body in a breathtaking symphony of pleasure. pure bliss surged through her veins, her head spinning with a heady rush.

your touch had an effect on gwen, weakening her knees and leaving her breath shaky and uneven. her face flushed with a rosy hue, reflecting the passion that consumed her. the stimulation she experienced was almost overwhelming, and she feels she might just explode.

though gwen attempted to regain control of her breathing, a part of her yearned for more. it felt as if she were caught in a whirlwind of pleasure, losing herself in the addicting embrace of your love. her hands tightened against the wall, their grip firm as they traversed down to your thighs, pulling you closer, bridging the gap between your bodies. the warmth radiating from your skin seemed to rival the sun itself, stoking the flames of desire within her.

gwen couldn't help but moan, her lips moving with increasing passion as she savored the warmth and taste of your mouth. despite her attempts to slow the frenzied pace, her tongue slipped out once more, driven by an insatiable craving for you. she explored down your neck with her tongue, trailing down to gently nibble along your collarbone, leaving a tantalizing trail of tingles in her wake.

"wow," you muttered, the sharp sensation of gwen's teeth grazing your skin eliciting a mix of surprise and pleasure. the sounds that escaped your lips were beyond your control, a testament to the powerful effect she had on you.

the sound of your whimper sent a jolt down gwen's spine. she possessed a commanding presence, a force to be reckoned with, and yet she found herself immobilized, unable to move as if held in place by an invisible tether. her hands instinctively found your hips, firmly pressing your body down onto her leg, as she stood, allowing you to find comfort leaning against the wall.

your entire being froze in response to the touch of gwen's leg, as if her very touch held the power of lightning, electrifying your senses. when you shuddered against her thigh, her grip on your hips tightened, her nails threatening to leave a temporary mark.

gwen was flustered, desperately attempting to assert control over the situation, but finding herself beat by the magnetic pull you exerted on her. every second that your gaze met hers, she felt an irresistible force tugging at her, drawing her closer to you as if guided by some unexplainable, otherworldly connection.

she looks up at you, her hair a mess around her face and flushed. "please, stop me…”

she spoke hushed, but her lips were glued onto yours. her body was glued to yours, her hands finding their way into your hair, her leg pressed against you, just everything about this moment was just perfect for her. you were making her lose her mind. she felt unworthy, like she didn’t deserve this after all she put you through.

“why would i do that?” you ask, voice barely above a whisper, “gwen, why would i do that when i don’t want this to stop?”

it felt like your words were an invitation just for her.

she could feel herself getting worked up again, every ounce of her just wanted this moment to continue. her mind was clouded with emotion and desire, she was lost in you.

"i missed you too, y'know," you said, your voice tinged with nervousness as you fidgeted with gwen's hair, your touch betraying your own vulnerability in the face of her silence.

hearing those words from you, expressing your longing for her touch and everything she embodied, was like the sweet relief of water in a desert. the weight of your words hit her with the force of a hammer, nearly knocking her off balance. her body quivered with anticipation, and when your hand brushed through her hair, delicately tucking it behind her ear, sparks ignited from the point of contact, spreading warmth throughout her being. the desire to kiss you consumed her, and she wasn't sure if she could find the strength to stop, especially when you begged her not to.

"i'm so sorry... i just can't stop myself," she confessed once more, her voice laced with desperation. "if you don't tell me to stop, i don't know if i can."

overwhelmed by her emotions and love for you, gwen found herself at a crossroads, teetering on the edge of restraint. but your response was firm and unwavering, "don't." the single word held a world of meaning, a silent permission to continue, and it resonated deeply within her.

her body ignited like a blazing fire, her breaths quickening as each touch sent electric pulses through her veins. "you have no idea how much..." gwen's voice trailed off, unable to find the words to convey the intensity of her emotions. she pulled back slightly, positioning herself nose-to-nose with you, her gaze locked onto yours.

"then i won't, but please... tell me to keep going," she whispered, her voice barely audible.

“just kiss me, gwen."

your voice, though quiet, reached gwen's ears with clarity and resolve. gripping your face with a fervent grasp, she held onto you as though her life depended on it. her kisses grew more fervent, her tongue dancing against yours, and her hands instinctively finding their way around your neck. she lost herself in the moment, overwhelmed to the point where words gave way to passionate moans, each one a testament to the intoxication of the experience.

gwen surrendered to the pleasure, no longer resisting the desire to have her leg entwined with yours. it felt perfect, the two of you merging together in this intoxicating union. pure bliss enveloped her as sensations heightened, her ears attuned to the sound of your breathing, her body quivering with the rush of emotions coursing through her. the need to hold back vanished, replaced by an insatiable hunger.

she pulled you closer, her grip firm as she pressed you down onto her leg, the friction against the floor sending waves of pleasure through her body. everything grew hotter and heavier, the weight of the moment intensifying. gwen let out a soft moan, briefly pulling away from the kiss to lock her gaze with yours. her lips were slightly parted, her cheeks flushed with desire, as she allowed herself to become lost in your eyes.

she was holding back, trying so hard to keep herself calm and slow everything down, but everything was becoming too much, too overwhelming for her to handle. she couldn’t shake this feeling though, it was like her spider senses were going off and she couldn’t tell what the vibrations in her mind were trying to tell her.

without conscious thought, gwen's hands found the rim of her hoodie, the one you were wearing. with a gentle movement, she lifted it off you and threw it onto your bed, revealing the vulnerability of your exposed waist. her touch was tender and loving as she embraced your waist, peppering your chest with fluttering kisses that elicited joyful giggles from your lips. a smile danced upon her own as she pressed against your skin, feeling like she was able to show you how much she appreciated you and wanted you, and how stupid she was to even think of letting you go.

“i’m home! made me bust in your room because you wasn’t answering me. what the hell were you doing?” your guardian asked, not furious but confused as to why you weren’t answering.

and you were just as confused. before you could even begin to panic, gwen was gone. you hastily picked up her hoodie from your bed and clutched it shyly against your chest, overwhelmed by a wave of embarrassment and a longing to retreat into hiding.

“you good? your face looks so…” your guardian examined your features. how heavy you were breathing, how heated you looked when the weatherman this morning said it was gonna be a cool day, and just how baffled you looked. "flushed?" you responded, mustering a feeble explanation. "yeah, the sweater, uh... made me a bit sweaty. so, i decided to take it off!”

you swore you could hear a faint giggle from outside, but you chose to ignore it.

“well, okay. stop actin’ like a weirdo and i’ll be in the kitchen if you need me,” they said, turning around and shutting the door.

as the footsteps faded away, a familiar figure stealthily climbed back into your room through the window. "that was a close one," she quipped, and though you couldn't help but roll your eyes, a hint of a smile tugged at your lips.

"you're so corny. i hate you," you playfully declared, the hate part a jest born out of momentary frustration. the corny part, however, held some truth to it.

gwen laughed, charmed by your feigned pout. "love you too, but it seems like you have company, and i should get back to patrol," she stated, punctuating her words with a tender kiss on your lips as she held you close. "i'm sorry about the whole breakup thing, and i know i've said it before, but i still want to apologize. i'm committed to being better-for you, for me, and for us. i don't want to push people away when i should be pulling them closer, especially when i need them. you make my life as spider-woman so much easier than i ever realized, having someone to return to and lean on," she confessed with a genuine smile.

unable to resist, you rushed forward and enveloped her in a tight hug. she gasped in surprise but quickly reciprocated, teasingly lifting you off the ground before gently setting you down.

"will i see you later?" you inquired, hopeful anticipation shining in your eyes.

“of course you will,” she replied smugly, a smirk gracing her face. you couldn't help but giggle "i'ii swing by around 6, sound good?"

"absolutely," you confirmed, your radiant smile illuminating your features.

with a final smile, gwen leaned back into your window and gracefully disappeared into the night, swinging away. you waved goodbye from a distance, heart brimming with warmth and excitement for the future.

true to her word, gwen returned as promised around 6 o'clock. but more significant than her punctuality was her unwavering commitment to keeping her promise of being more open with you and making an effort. she showed you that she was willing to put in the work, to learn from her past mistakes, and to become the best version of herself -for you and for the relationship you shared.

A/N: i think i almost died typing all this. 10.5k words. im crying…

© 2023 primaviva

[loafyall]

I feel like making more angst today (but it has comfort don't worry)

Same scenario, different observers.

Yanqing is told to go on a patrol with another cloud knight, in the stargazer Navilia. (Sry if I got the spelling wrong)

The cloud knight seemed to have bad intentions with the young boy's youth and naiveness.

Everything was fine until the cloud knight and yanqing came to some secluded part of the area, And that's when the knight takes his move

He manages to pin Yanqing to one of the walls, Easily putting a hand on his hands and causing him to drop his sword, Yanqing wasn't on great terms with strength, The cloud knight however had better strength than him.

The cloud knight had worse ideas to r. Yanqing, while he can only helplessly call for help, but who cares? No one will hear him especially in this area.

Well, accept for one person.

1. caelus

He's probably defeating some abominations around and getting materials or just- yea he's just roaming around and wondering there is no trashcans in Xianzhou (sad)

That's until he hears some screaming and yelling to 'stop' or 'help' but becoming muffled.

He recognised it.

It was yanqing.

He was around the area? What happened? Did he run into a bigger enemy?

That's when he came near and saw

That the cloud knight was in the process of trying to remove Yanqing's clothes, Tho the knight kept on getting hit by Yanqing's legs, The cloud knight was sure trying to SA Him.

Caelus just launched himself and his bat and litterally bonked the knights face, causing the cloud knight to fall down immediately and probably faint.

Yanqing is not so relieved yet relieved, He takes caelus back to the inns, And thanks him so much and tries to do something for caelus but caelus just refuses.

2. Yunli

Now, Yunli just in the area to fight some abominations she finds randomly before she hears screams, At first, she thinks it's Yanqing being weak but then she keeps on hearing him crying? And telling whoever he was telling to 'stop'.

She immediately knew something was up.

She rushed to that area, just to find the cloud knight trying to fuck yanqing to keep him quiet,

She just stands there before the cloud knights looks back, she's already using old metal and scaring the shit out of the knight and faints.

Yanqing feels embarassed that he is being saved by his rival and didn't fight back but the more overwhelming thing is that about how the cloud knight touched him, he didnt like it, tears just flooded out, he hated being this weak.

Yunli, who'd usually tease Yanqing and be rude to him, Didn't do it to him, Realising the goddamn pain that the knight tried to do to yanqing, She would definitely tell this to General jing yuan and her grandpa.

She managed to get Yanqing to the alchemy commision, they didn't talk the whole way, not did they wanted, Yanqing was so goddamn traumatized and didnt want to speak the whole way.

He thanked her alot, He felt weak, Yunli was somewhat proud of herself? She didn't know.

The cloud knight did file a crime for Almost killing a member but he was brutally exposed by yunli about what he was trying to do to yanqing (And trust me, Jing yuan was pissed.)

3. March 7th

March was sent to run 15 miles by the order of yanqing for training, But soon heard noises coming from a secluded area, She decided to ignore it until

She heard Yanqing's cries and beggings

Upon taking the route, she came to a horrifying sight, Yanqing was being.. She can't describe it

Honestly, she never felt alot of rage before

But that cloud knight, Trying to do the deed with yanqing? A FOURTEEN YEAR OLD KID??!

She lunged forward kicked the cloud knight and beat him up brutally.

While yanqing was frantically putting on his lose clothings and trying his best not to start crying again.

March reassured Yanqing he was safe, hugged him tight and got him back to the divine seat of foresight, Yanqing stopped crying and fell asleep by that time.

as for the cloud knight,

When jing yuan got to know the situation, he was pissed as hell (The cloud knight was never seen again)

Funfact : I wrote this at like 1 AM

Should I make a Dan heng finding Yanqing and Feixiao finding Yanqing version too? Lemme know!!

[writingoddess1125]

It's Done pt. 3

Part 2 <<<

Asshole Mihawk x Femreader

Angst and Saddness

Support me on Ko-Fi

It had been nearly 2 months since you'd last seen Mihawk- The day he tried to give his life in a sad attempt to get you to back down.. In truth you were a hot mess for a solid week afterwards- Sobbing hysterically and having to start the process of healing all over again.

You wondered when he got so selfish- to dare treat you like that for nearly 20 years only to try a dirty move like that of wanting to die your husband- When has he ever acted like your husband? When he fucked eveything that moved or insulted your infertility to your face?

It was hard.. terrible even but you started to rebuild all over again. But luckily during those two months you prepared, knowing eventually he would return and you'd be ready.

You sat outside on the padio of your home sipping some tea, taking a gentle breath as you tried to ease yourself... you could already feel it that he was going to arrive-

As if on cue by late noon Mihawk was at your door... unlike before he didn't look like he had rolled out of a dumpster but he didn't look good either- He had lost weight, his skin looking unhealthy and heavy bags under his eyes. He wasn't taking care of himself in the slightest and it was noticable.

"Here to try again?" You said with venom in your voice- Mihawk quietly nodding as he held up the same dirty manilla envelope and this time one of his own.

"Can we just talk first?" He asked softly, You rolling your eyes but nodded and allowed him inside- leading him to the study to allows this meeting to take place. However you made it a point to set down a pistol right on your lap as a warning- Which by his gaze you could tell worried him slightly.

"...I brought back the papers and I brought some of my own. I wanted to see if this would be something you'd be interested in before a divorce" Mihawk started as he handed you the new folder her brought. Taking it you quickly opened it and saw a detailed legal contract- asking for a trial separation, both parties going to couples counseling and individual, promise of no outer relationships for 6 months to establish trust and while it didn't say that at the end you two would end up together but it was clearly implied.

"You're actually serious?-" You deadpanned, glaring at Mihawk.

"Please (Y/N)- Just hear me out.." Mihawk begged- You sighing heavily at this having just wanted the papers to be signed.

"What Mr. Dracule?" You said formally and kept a hand on the pistol.

"I can be better. It's just a temporary separation agreement. Not yet a divorce but just some time for us to- Think and maybe heal?" He suggested and you just felt angry once more.

"Heal? You think I need to heal and think about us divorcing? It is me healing and thinking being away from you Mihawk!" You yelled and he bit his lip- clearly wanting to say more to unsure which direction to go.

"And why should I?" You question, staring at him as he looked down.. you could practically see the shame running through him and the hurt in his gaze.

"Cause I can't live without you- I can't sleep knowing you're not home.. it doesn't feel like home anymore, I don't smell your perfume, don't hear you humming... it feels like I'm lost at sea without a raft and... and..." He stopped, his eyes watering as he looked at you- studying your face like he was seeing you for the first time in years.

"...I..." He sighed heavily- Bowing his head fully as if in defeat.

"You shouldnt..." He finally said which caught you off guard.

"Gods this is all my fault.. it truly is.. I disrespected you, dishonored you and broke our vows.. I have no right to sit before you and ask for anything.. I just didnt want you to absolutely detest me since I do still love you- Ive just been taking advantage of your heart for over two decades.. I see it now.." Mihawk said truthfully- You could hear the true regret in his voice. Total and utter defeat clearly humbling him in some way as he sat there before you..

"Ill sign the papers (Y/N)...I-I just wanted another chance to make this right.. I'm so sorry" He said softly, this being the first time he actually apologized for his wcruons as a whole or what he did to you- Surprise hitting your whole body.

It was silent for a few moments, Mihawk getting up and grabbing the pen from the desk and the semi soiled divorce papers. The ink from your signing runny and bleeding the paper. You doubted it would be accepted in that state-.

However despite the ruined pages he began to sign them. Your own heart breaking ever so slightly as you watched- As he was signing the last page you grabbed his hand stopping him.

"Wait- I can't believe I'm saying this.. but stop" You sigh out- Mihawk staring at you with widened eyes, You pulling away from his hand and staring at the wreck of a man.

"Mihawk I don't think I can find it in myself to forgive you... But I am willing to give the trial separation a try" You sigh, rubbing your temple softly at allowing this small thing.

Mihawks yellow eyes lighting up at hearing this- while this didn't mean you would get back together nor even avoid the divorce. However he simply wanted the chance for you two could be on better terms or even just your to not hate his guts.

"Thank you (Y/N)... Thank you"

Tag List-

@hungrhay @boredperson120 @foggyturtleknightangel @phantom-phantom @scaryinkdemon @shoxji @plan3t-plut0 @lunanight1021 @aleracrovn

[myluvrrhea]

Telekinesis | Rhea Ripley

Pairings - Rhea Ripley x Ex-Bsf! + Wrestler!OC

Warnings - Against, Mentions of bruises, Rhea is violent, Sad Rhea , Sad OC, Just angsty Tbhhh :((

Word Count - 0.5k

NOT PROOFREAD ‼️

"What are you too insecure-" You were cut off when she slammed you against the ring post. You felt a sharp pain in your shoulder as you tried getting up.

" Stop talking to me like you know me" At this pint she was screaming in your face. Taunting and punching you.

Although this may have seemed somehow planned. Everyone backstage as well as the commentators were confused. You felt just as shocked by her random outburst. You felt your head pounding as she continued her attacks on you , it seemed as if she was trying to get something out of you.  But you had nothing to give. She was the problem. She caused the chaos between you two.

Soon she began talking again. "You know nothing about me and the struggle I went through to get here , so don't try to act like you do,"

The pain was unbearable and getting up was almost impossible. 

You felt like you could already feel the bruise forming on your shoulder as you tried standing up. But without warning , Rhea Swung the kendo stick in your direction, where did she get that from? The swing of the kendo stick caused a huge impact to your head, you pass out.

When you woke up , you were in the hospital. Wires around your arms. Your eyes felt droopy and blurry as you tried to open them wider. You suddenly heard the door open as you saw a black haired woman stand in front of you. As your vision slowly started unblurring , you relised it was her. The women who had put you in this situation in the first place. Rhea Bloody Ripley.

You heard her whisper something , that your ears couldn't quite reach.

"Im sorry , im so sorry Lara," you took a second to figure out what she was saying before she kept talking. Why was she using your government name? She hadn't called you that since you two were close. Before she ruined the friendship you two had.

"I know I hurt you bad, but I didn't want it to get this bad," She spoke again. It sounded like she was on the verge of tears as she ran her tattooed hand through her hair.

Looking down and seeing the state you were in , your stomach turned. You had cuts and bruises in places that wouldn't even be reachable while in your gear. You felt tears well in your eyes as you looked back up at Rhea, who was too stuck in her rambling to even notice the tear that rolled down your cheek. But when she did , she felt like the world had piled up on top of her.

"Listen Rhea I know you're sorry , but I think I need time to myself for right now. You've done enough damage,"You spoke. Your voice was sweet. Salutary. Almost like Rhea hadn't completely ruined your life in one day.

"Alright... if thats what you want, ill leave," those were the last words she spoke to you since , you had found out you couldn't be cleared to wrestle. You felt as if your world was crumbling when you found out. It felt like you didnt know who Rhea was anymore. She switch on not on the most important people in her life, but the person who cared most about her both mentally and emotionally .Which was you. And the fact that you wouldnt be cleared to wrestle in atleast a month , was the cherry on top. And it was all because of her. Rhea Ripley.

A/N 💬 - Im still working on request dont worry!! Ps im sorry to the annon that requested something like days ago 😭 im still writing it I just have a bit of writters block.

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

Hi there! Can i request platonic hcs of Poppy x best friend reader. So lets say Poppy finally joined Naranja/Uva academy and was sadly proven true where many kids were intimadated by her status as an Elite Four, causing her to be isolated by the other kids. But after a few days since she joined the school, a new kid from another region came. The new kid had become the most talked subject around school which cause Poppy to get curious herself. So then she met the reader and quickly become fast friends with them as they didnt know of her Elite Four status

Idk if you notice but i kinda frame this up to be similar to Nemona’s and the Protag’s friendship, so can i also have the rest of the elite four + Nemona and Geeta reacting to Poppy now having a best friend?

(Btw the reader is from Alola and you can choose whatever pokemon you want them to have as their partner as long their from Alola)

Hope you have a good day/night!

- 🪷 Anon

Thank you! Hope you have a good day/night too!

For a split second I thought this was about Poppy Playtime until I read the academy names lmao

........

For a while, Poppy wanted to pursue her studies at Naranja/Uva Academy, seeing as she was at the age where she could attend school.

But her worries about being seen as "different" held her back, although her fellow Elite Four members convinced her and she finally made the choice to enroll.

As she feared, however, students and staff instantly recognized her and were shocked.

They kept wondering if she was here for some inspection, never fully believing she was just trying to be a normal student and forget about her E4 responsibilities.

Unfortunately everywhere she went, kids were intimidated by her status, not wanting to be paired-up with her in battle studies (to the point where Ms. Dendra made them, lest she lowered their grades).

Honestly it made Poppy feel sad, knowing she's getting special treatment from teachers AND frightened looks from kids her age.

She just wanted to make friends, but these past few days have made her feel lonelier than ever...

Or at least, until she overhears chatter about you, the newest exchange student from Alola.

She only picked up a few things, among them being your unique Pokémon nobody has ever seen before...and this gets her curious little mind wondering who you are.

Turns out, you're in most of her classes and always willing to become her partner for assignments!

You didn't know she was an E4 member (heck, you didn't even know Hassel was either), so you struck up a friendship with her rather quickly.

The "unique Pokémon" in question is a very tame Kartana, who looked like an origami project you made in art class--but was really a grass/steel type, which absolutely thrilled Poppy.

If a steel type is your partner, you're automatically upgraded to best friend.

Every now and then, you and her would have battles in and outside the academy (although ofc she holds back a LOT as she's afraid you'll be scared off if you knew her status).

You do wonder why your classmates keep ostracizing her. She was a sweet kid.

When one teen mentions her status, you find that hard to believe and tell them to stop joking around......until you see the look on Poppy's face, meaning they aren't.

You stop her after class, asking if the rumors were true, and she starts crying despite her best efforts to hold back the tears.

"Woah hey! What's wrong?"

"What's wrong??? I-I...I kept such a..a-a big secret from you!! That's what's wrong!!" She sniffles, afraid she's going to lose your friendship over this.

Why did that meanie have to go and do that?

Long story short, your Kartana finds and drags that kid back to you and Poppy, and you make them apologize to her. They definitely learned their lesson after the UB threateningly sharpens its blades while you're scolding them.

That day, Poppy discovers you are a true best friend who doesn't treat her any differently and gives you tons of exp candies as a token of her gratitude.

She becomes more confident in herself, excitedly telling the other Pokémon League members and Nemona (who recently battled her during class) about her new bff.

Hassel, who has seen your friendship grow from the start, is like a proud grandad (and totally didn't sob over it).

Larry appears indifferent, but he does smile a little, glad to hear she's adjusting to the Academy life well.

Rika and Geeta, who were the ones that pushed her to pursue school, couldn't be prouder to see Poppy doing better and finding a great friend such as yourself who didn't judge her.

They had their initial concerns, but realized she was going to be okay after all.

Nemona can 100% relate when she learns how other kids were scared of Poppy bc of her battling skills, and she's thrilled she found a friend who wasn't like that and enjoyed battling her even after learning the truth.

[thesamoanqueen]

Blackwater IX

Raiting: 18+

Warnings: SMUT, Drama.

A/N: Drama after drama.

When she was a lil girl, her mother told her many stories. She was a strange woman her mother, Y/N didnt remember much of her after what had happened, perhaps because her mind had removed or probably because she had never had with her the same bond she had with her dad. But she remembered the stories that she told her. Sometimes they were funny, sometimes sad, often they didn't make sense, they always talked about wolves. Her mother was obsessed with the shift, she spent more time as a wolf than as a human, but when she told her those stories she always did it with words, never through their bond because as she said “wolves never needed words”.

She remembered the story of a man who had been looking for wealth and happiness in the wrong places all his life. Nothing satisfied him and while searching for them, stopping on a remote island, he had met a wise woman who told him that he could have find everything under a tree at the top of the hill, on a full moon night. The man waited until that night, but when he went into the woods the wolves voices scared him, for hours he kept running through the trees, running away, until he got under the tree. The wolves were far away, no one was chasing him there and looking from the top of the hill he realized that he had never really needed anything but the life he already had.

The story didn't end well. The man had eventually bought the hill, built a house where the tree grew and the night after works were finished, the wolves had found and eaten him. It wasn't the sort of thing to tell a little girl, but Y/N had a good memories of it, because her dad liked hearing the first part of the story, he liked what the wise woman had tried to teach the man, and trying to teach it to Y/N, he had planted a small tree like that one next to their house that bloomed all the time and never withered.

Y/N had no idea if that tree was still there, if someone had bought the land to build something else on, if the house she had hoped to see again for so many years was still there. But she had seen one of those flowers again that morning on Roman's wrist, while he held her imprisoned in his arms on a destroyed bed. It was strange that she had never seen it before, she thought, looking at him with curiosity and amazement as she had already done with the scar that he had on the same arm and that she had caused him.

- Why there? I don't remember gettin’ hurt there - there must have been a reason, but his skin was intact underneath and Y/N really didn't remember anything ever happening to her wrist.

- I just wanted it to be for me and no one else - she heard him answer hoarsely, his breath slamming against her forehead and her fingers suddenly stopped.

Shocked, she looked up, ceasing to trace with her fingertips the tatau lines he had talked about one by one.

- Are you serious?

Propped between the lone surviving pillow and the headboard of the bed, Roman grinned, pressing a kiss into her hair, hands sliding deeper forcing her flat against his side.

-I have my reasons - and he didn't even try to explain himself.

And as much as that was yet another proof of his obsession, Y/N found herself shaking her head with a smile, exasperated, but not in an unpleasant way for once. For once it seemed more dedication than mania for control and it wasn't so bad to suffer, even if he still had to get his act together.

-You 're full of bad ideas wrapped inside a gorgeous package - she reflected, leaning her face against his arm so as not to give him the satisfaction of seeing her laugh, but her words made it even worse.

Y/N literally felt his ego bulging inside his chest, hands abruptly stopping caressing hers to swing her, head ducking, trying to meet her gaze.

- So now we're admitting it

- Ain't doing nothing

The way he rolled her onto the bed and pinned her under him shouldn't have surprised her considering he'd done worse all night, but Y/N found herself still clinging to his solid arms, seeking a support. Her eyes immediately locked on Roman's, bones quivering at seeing him still so hopelessly hungry, the pit of her stomach heating up. She watched him lower himself like a dangerous beast planning the first bite on a prey, feeling his hands move the sheet, grab her thighs, squeeze them with full hands to position himself between them with authority.

- Say it - he murmured hoarsely, his voice warming her everywhere.

Still in the last twenty-four hours, going against the obstinacy of weeks and principles of an entire life, Y/N would have wanted nothing more than to stay in that bed, because the idea of endlessly repeating what they had done since they were closed there, it was getting more and more comforting in her mind. But despite the impulse and the moment, she had to force herself to regain control and deal with things.

- I'm… going to take a shower – she said back, looking him straight in the face and Roman smiled, however remaining in position, without letting go, until Y/N managed to put both feet down, finally slipping away from his grip.

With his dangerous eyes fixed on her, she crossed the few space that separated her from the private bathroom and to adjust the shower. Her legs were aching and once that little operation had been done, Y/N remained motionless looking at the mirror, trying in vain to arrange her hair, unable to drag herself elsewhere and trying hard not to look towards the room. She felt that strange sensation on her again, something that maybe it came from her she-wolf, even if she hadn't felt her since the previous night or maybe this time just depended on tiredness, on what they had done, again... and again... and-

- What's up? - she asked, suddenly recovering to take a look at Roman, who appeared in the doorway without the slightest trace of clothes on.

- I need a shower too. Someone did a mess - he chuckled, looking down at her from the inches between them, one hand back on her side, the other brushing hair away from her neck.

Y/N still hadn't understood if it was fault of the way he looked at her, as if he wanted to eat her alive like the wolves of that story her mother told her, of the hands that kept wandering over her everywhere or perhaps of his voice, so unnaturally inviting. She knew though that she was falling for it, inexorably, every time he didn’t miss, every time he rubbed his face against hers without giving a hint of biting, every time he reached for her like it wasn't enough.

- It's not all on me – she clarified, still letting him move her one step at a time towards the shower, because no, in all truth it wasn't enough for her either.

-I like that mess... we should do it here too - heat that increased, the grip that became firmer, skin that itched everywhere and burned where he placed his mouth, to kiss, lick her.

Stepping inside the shower, she turned in his arms, feeling the water slide down her body along with Roman's hands holding her forcefully pressed against his boner, already stiff and ready on her ass making her center wet for the umpteenth time.

-Sooner or later we'll have to leave and go outside – she complained, but it wasn't a real complaint and they both knew it.

- Beg me, maybe I'll think about it – Roman suggested against her ear, ending up growling when Y/N slipped a hand behind, grabbing him by the nape, scratching at the back of his massive neck.

She slowly moved her head no, not letting out a word and pulled him closer, hips rocking as she felt him squeeze and work his way into her again to fill her with a deep, almost aggressive breath that made her shiver. His big body shielded her from the water, but Y/N felt it sliding between her legs, onto her back from his dark hair dripping, colder than the heat he gave off, colder than his breath against the back of her neck. Her tiredness suddenly vanished, hips moving as they met his thrusts without shame and her mind filled with only the need of him, with his desperation and anguish with which he wanted to take her breath away. She watched his big hand crash beside her face as he increased the pace of his run and his tattoo. Her tatau.

She already had everything she needed.

***

They must have come from the backyard through the gym. Roman had caught them in the living room, still together, still talking, still in their world. Jey straightened his shoulders abruptly before moving his eyes elsewhere, shifting uneasily at the sigh of him. Jimmy had given back one of his annoyed looks, Roman was beginning to find them more annoying than the constant giggles.

His cousins. His brothers. The only ones he had left.

- He's okay, see? – Jimmy snorted, hitting his twin on the arm, without the slightest intention of explaining why they had entered into his house without even going through the fuckin door.

- Uce… we've been looking for you all mornin’, you didn't answer. We've come to check - Jey replied immediately, almost reading his mind, the weight of his body shifting from one foot to the other, a quick nod of his head in his direction.

Roman eyed them in silence, both of them, since the big brother had suddenly decided to bring out that attitude, before moving and slowly joining them, prompting Jey to stop, his body rigid as soon as he was close enough, picking up the bad air.

He had seen the calls. And the messages. But he didn't have time for them or desire.

- Checking what? – he asked through gritted teeth, keeping his gaze fixed on Jey.

They controlled him who should have controlled them and now they were also in his house. Until yesterday he would have let go, they had grown up together as brothers, they were family, but after what he had had to hear from the elders, from their own family, there was no more space for words. He had told them to disappear the night before, same situation and there they were, back in his house and even ready to admit that they had come to check. They had to pray he didn't find out that they had given the elders nothing about him and Y/N, because his patience was already at its limit and he would have no more for this story.

They had been with him the night he found her. They had been with her for even longer than him in those weeks, she trusted them, they had bonded, he had even given her to them just to know she was happy and safe. He had left her with them, while he went to be put on trial and to find out that the only one who didn't know everything was him. Him, who now passed for the one out of control, for the one who acted without respect, who was acting crazy, when he had spit up blood a month before to prevent someone from crossing the border to take away from them what rightfully belonged to them and he was now just trying to secure one damned thing for himself.

- To check how you were. Since you cut us off. We could have asked Solo, but he doesn't open his mouth anymore and your Wiseman always replies that you're busy - Jimmy broke in, his tone still annoyed and Roman shifted his attention to him.

- Because Im.

- For shou

He'd knocked people out for the look Jimmy'd just given him, certainly for less than that tone, but again, it was his family and Jey had been quick enough to get in the way again to push him back.

- Hey, its on us, we go now. We're leaving - he cut short quickly, also receiving a look from his twin - we go? - he tried to complain again - Let's talk another time, not now, let's go, move -

Oh, it was definitely better for them if they learned to keep those mouths shut instead of talkin-

- Morning! it's still morning, isn't it?

Roman whirled quickly, his attention suddenly behind him, entirely on Y/N who had joined them, a smile on her face, crossing the living room towards the kitchen with one of his shirts on and her hair still damp from the shower longer than expected. He hadn't heard her coming down the stairs, too focused on those two and now she was there, where she shouldn't have been.

Mate!

She wasn't supposed to be there.

Like him, even the twins hadn't expected to see her come out of nowhere and interrupt them, ending up taking a few seconds too long to look at her before both nodding a greeting.

- Hey Y/N!

- Ya better today? - Jey asked softly and Roman looked back at him, prompting him to move his eyes anywhere except on him or worse, on her.

Y/N had said something, about the pain she had felt because of him the day before, but at that moment Roman liked those kind of confidences less than usual and the idea of having her in the same room with them even less. Already on defensive, his wolf distinctly perceived her approach this time and without even wanting to hold back, he rotated his shoulders following the movements of her body, as if he had to block her and hide her from them.

- Yes, thanks for askin’… I'll call Nao as soon as I've eaten something, yesterday she put up with me for the whole day- Y/N offered anyway, stopping at a distance and he wrinkled his nose, annoyed, seeing Jimmy immediately straighten up for his reaction for his wife.

He could be pissed and play as tough as he wanted, but he wasn't at the top and it was better for everyone if that idea got into his head permanently. They were kids no more and they weren't even the same ones back then. He knew that if they started this thing it wouldn't end well for them. Because he certainly wouldn't stop, not after a stab in the back from his own family, not after everything he'd done for them, for everyone, over the last years.

- I know it may be strange at this time, but do you want something too? We can sit outside, the sun will have dried everything and maybe- Y/N insisted impassively, dragging him away from his thoughts, but again Jey got in the way, stopping his brother before he opened his mouth and shaking his head with a weak smile, more like a grimace, shushing Y/N too.

- We're good, thanks, we've things to do. Go now. Move.

We're apologize Uce, he heard him inside his head

- Let's go. Come on.

Roman watched him drag Jimmy down the hallway, push him back towards the gym probably to get out of where they had come and in silence, he waited, ears and noses open, until their footsteps faded away and then the engine of the car moving along the driveway of the house. He didn't hear their thoughts from there, he hadn't even tried to bond to answer and he wasn't interested in doing so, especially at that moment because that time he wouldn't lower to anyone's level. When he finally turned around, Y/N was still where she had stopped, her eyes on him and a worried expression on her face that matched the feeling inside her at the moment.

- Why did you come down? - he asked sharply, unable to control his tone and she frozen.

- Because I'm hungry, because I can and there was a bad mood down here.

Her words hit him like a slap in the face and that was enough to put him back in line, prompting him to take a deep breath and pass a hand over his face, trying to regain control.

Not again.

Not again. He didn't want to hear her get defensive or argue, not after spending the night and morning making her moan and seeing her smile. He could not afford to go back, he had given her his word and he was a man of his word, even before being the Tribal Chief. Y/N was his safe place, he promised to take care of her and there shouldn't be any argument or issues if she was in the way, they had already been through enough on their own. She had to stay out of it and he had to do everything to make it happen.

- I don't know much about families, it's true, but you shouldn't- stubborn, she began to try to reason with him, even if the topic wasn't the best for her and Roman quickly joined, forcing her to sink her head into his chest, covering her completely with his arms.

He wasn't going to throw her into that mess, not while he had the strength to stop it. She had to ignore it, everything had to be fine for her, she didn't have to help him make peace with anyone, it wasn't even necessary for her to know what was going on.

- It's all right, it was nothing - he reassured her, giving her a quick kiss on the forehead, while her hands gripped his back and she raised her eyes to study him - I didn't like seeing them here, nothing more - he admitted when she didn't seem convinced and while it was only partly truth, it was all she needed to know.

- Why, do you have secrets here to hide? - Y/N muttered, her eyes locked on him and Roman rocked her by the hips.

- You’re here.

Her hands left his shirt so quickly as to give him the suspicion of never having been there, she pushed him away albeit without force, regaining possession of her freedom to go straight to the kitchen without even looking back.

- Better for you if it's just an alpha thought that will disappear now, because if I hear it again I'll make your life hell - she threatened calmly more than necessary and Roman grinned, watching her sigh and take out a bottle of juice from the fridge, disappearing a moment later in the pantry and coming out with a bag of bread and some jars of who knows what.

That was what he wanted, finally as it should be. Her, walking around with the smell of him on her skin, as if nothing could disturb them or interrupt those moments. The idea of being able to reach out and hold her arm, lift her up onto the kitchen counter and bury himself inside her, even watch her make that sandwich and who knows what else, was all Roman had ever wanted. Someone to shut the world out with and forget the rest to be weightless, someone to replace the thoughts that crowded his mind and that no one had ever heard before her.

Mate. Pack.

- Someone makes long-term plans now - he noticed and Y/N froze for a moment, glass resting on her lips and her eyes looking at him from the other side of the counter.

All night and even waking up, she'd had no brakes, but Roman knew she'd need more time. He felt it and with him his wolf. But both were willing to win her, to do the impossible to keep her on that path and it was for that reason that she had to stay away from unnecessary problems, he didn't want that kind of pressure on her. They wouldn't have repeated the performance from the night before in the gym, those weren't the situations he wanted to build something. He wanted more for her, he had promised to give her only the best and so it would be.

- The company isn't that bad, when you think about it - she admitted with an expression that Roman would have killed for - but don't get your hopes up - she pushed him, pointing to something specific, over the counter and between his legs and he nodded his head, turning the grimace he hadn't been able to hold back into a smirk.

- They had put you on this earth to give me a headache.

- I have several people who can prove otherwise – that was a low blow, but he deserved it and so he took the glass she had left, throwing down the rest.

- Then I have to make it up to you.

- Do you want to apologize? You should have warned me, I would have dressed better

- You're gorgeous like this… but you can dress better later, I'll take you out – just the idea seemed to make her light up and Roman felt her shiver of happiness pinch his chest, while she tried to hold back like an impatient child.

- Like a time off in prisons? - she asked doubtfully.

- Like a date. Just me and you.

He watched her smile, eat the rest of her breakfast, lunch or whatever it was, without push her happiness away and something inside him filled with satisfaction and contentment. This was how it had to be, this was what he wanted, only this, everything else had to stay away.

***

The sign indicating the end of the reserve darted past the SUV window, but the real Blackwater reserve, theirs reserve, finished along with the last line of cedars. It was a border their ancestors had established and decades ago it was much further, reduced to what was on a river bank, but Roman had widened everything, he had taken everything in two states. Because what they had before wasn't enough, because they deserved more, because they could do anything.

He turned the steering wheel, driving the car onto the main road for the town, a perfectly straight gray strip that ran out to the sea and over which all the cars that weren't theirs passed. Though even those were more or less theirs, like the buses, the railroad that cut through the city's back, two runways at the airbase, three-quarters of the land in population centers, and enough locals to feed the next three generations of their family. It was an empire now, no more a pack land.

- Now we also apologize to him, we have nothing to apologize for! - His brother's voice exploded in his ears and Jey tightened his grip on the steering wheel until his hands hurt.

Always that story, always the same story, the story of his life.

- You didn't have to tell that stuff, you didn't have to - he ranted more to let off steam than to blame him.

He wanted to help, he had done it like he did everything, like he had always done everything, especially for their family, but it had been the worst move of the century at the worst time for their cousin.

- She should be in the family, they don't know her! And he doesn't care

- … you know why he does it – they had been there too when it happened, they knew, they had always been next to him, they were-

- Because he’s crazy! He does it because he's out of control! You have to stop, seriously stop! We're going to get hurt for him, we have both kids at home!

The words seemed to echo through the car endlessly, Jimmy's anger and frustration clear through their bond. A bond that no one else had, different from mates bond, different from that between brothers and cousins. Without ceasing to grip the steering wheel, clenching his teeth, he continued to drive along the road, avoiding talk back or even admitting to himself that after all, his brother wasn't so wrong. They had families, children to protect and raise, they didn't need an empire like none of them needed growing up, they didn't need those shits and constant struggles. However, a father should also provide for those around him, as well as a tribal chief with his people, that should have been the principle... and instead something had gone wrong, more than something and there was no longer a question of providing. It was no longer about protecting or love.

Still silent, he saw a new sign showing the detour from which they could reach the road that led east to the state line. A few seconds and Jey slowed down, making yet another choice and hearing Jimmy breathe with discomfort, before lowering the hat on his head and pointing his eyes in the opposite direction, beyond the road and trees.

- I really hope she runs away… he deserves it.

Tag squad: @sunnyfleur23 @racerchix21 @alyyaanna @angelreigns444 @romanreignsdefencesquad @romanstheory @claymorexpunisher @keybladeofsteel @iovereigns @msbigredmachine @nayys-world @gobbersworld @utika151209 @cumxxslutt @civildawn @romanmydaddy @triscillal @papireigns-05 @helensanders92 @ichdrachenfrau @darqchilddaydreamz @meggylynnloves @unfriendly--blvck--hottie @nicolewoo @wrestlezaynia @reignsx @reigns-central-blog @kianaleani @daguenoire @extra-11 @thedonsfactory @snowpanda18 @brattyfics @mzv11 @romanreignseater @namjoonspinkytoenail @tribalchiefdaily @2baddies2furious @vebner37 @raeluvshammett @depressedneedingrevenge @cyberdejos2 @thewarlordsworld @jeonmahi1864 @jxtina-86 @harmshake @harlem11680 @joanoai @southerngirl41 @blkbutterfly816 @spritelucozade

[hey-i-am-trying]

Dude, IM part of the Spanish community and I thought Roier was being a total ass to Pepito's OG admin. That anon cant speak for us all and I honestly feel like Roier was mean as hell to that poor admin the hole damn time. I remember when he started pointing out the admins were changing and thought it was so rude to call out the REAL PEOPLE who were playing and acting like they HAD to act a specific way (like RIchas) or else he would spend the hole steam yelling at him, hitting him, insulting him as a """"joke"""" I fucking hated watching Roier and Pepito interact and NOT because of Pepito thats for sure. I was so glad when other people started looking after him and I feel so deeply bad for that poor OG admin who didnt get to play THEIR FUCKING character. I hate seeing people be like "we liked the other Pepito cause he fallowed Roier's story better" what about THAT ADMINS story???? As if these arnt real ass people roleplaying but just characters you can rewrite and should fit to form every time. The other eggs can have bad days and bad moods but Pepito cant? Its not only unfair and mean but it proved Pepito's self hatred right till the very end. Pepito's story is "If im not happy and bubbly 100% of the time ill be hated by the people meant to love me no matter what" and thats just shitty. I guess I can understand there was a tonal misunderstanding because Roier is more jokey and non serious and Pepito's OG admin seemed to me more in deep rp mode at all times and maybe that wasnt what was best for Roier's play style, thats fine. But to blame it all on """cultural differences""" and that the admin was rude is honestly just not it.

Thank you both for sharing!

Well, I think I will be fully honest and say that at the time, I stopped to watch any Roier qsmp steam because of Pepito. I didn't necessarly believed ccRoier was a bad person, it was just that the route qRoier's and Pepito's relationship were going was triggering some bad memories. It is weird that we know now that the actors weren't allowed to contact the ccs because you would think the story lines that both Roier and the og admin wanted to tell should required a lot of communication between the player and the actor.

I don't think that is either their fault that they wanted different storyline, but

I think Roier usually is very light-hearted with his humor and jokes about "la chancla"/"o chinelo" are very common place in LATAM, many latino kids are spanked during their childhoods and using it in humor is not a uncommon thing.

I think the context that the og admin is not from LATAM and did not speak spanish as her first language, adds to why they crashed so much in rp/humor style.

I don't think Roier was trying to be insulting, at least not out of charcter, but it is okay to have your own feeling about it.

It sad that I think this could have been avoided if Roier and the admin had a chance to talk.

I do not think that the admin was rude while I was watching but for what others said it was a situation were Roier was trying out of character explaning events of the week when the admin cursed at him. Not having spanish as their first language may have caused the admin to not realize the weight of what they were saying, they probably pretended to be light hearted.

But, well, it wasn't, at least not for those that were watching. And while I will repeat what I said before that the admin shouldn't be treated as trash or if there is something personallly wrong with them, they were rude in a situation, that is it.

[tammyu2]

My friend requested this from me personally :>

“I want it to start of with a bit of angst. I want you to take from the trailer of N and Uzi comforting eachother after losing V, and from there I want to see what you do with the two chatting and leading up to a first kiss...“

Comfort and Confessions

“U-uzi?“

Uzi sat there on the ground,with her legs hugged to her chest. Staring at the floor sadly. Befpre groaning and putting her good hand on her hair griping it slightly, gritting her teeth out of frustration. She had been too focused in her thoughts to notice N a few feet away from her, bending his knees while tilting his head to see her face.

Uzi stopped gripping her hair once she caught her reflection in an oil puddle next to her that was cause from a whole in the the ceiling. She the sighed before looking to her right and jumping slightly at the sight of N waving his hand softly. She looked away quickly while pouting.

“What are you doing here?” She said stubbornly while whipping away any tears that were spilling on her screen.

“I told Tessa I wanted to check on you... I was worried..“ He said softly. “N-not that you can't h-handly yourself!- Its j-just I wanted to check in- And all!-“ He said akwardly rambling nervously.

Uzi stands up before looking at him with holographic tears on her monitor-

[I guess cause ther are robots and all-]

“A-are you still sad about..?“ N didn't continue but she knew he was talking about V. “You know I'm here for you and all... We can go through this together- Oof!-“ Before N could finish his sentance Uzi ran up to him and hugged him.

Stiff and startled, N didn't do anything for a minute. When he finally registered what was happening he hugged her back as Uzi gripped his shoulder a bit more as tears started to spill from her monitor again.

N lulls her while hugging her gently. As if she could have broken at any moment. (The hug was a bit akward cause like she didn't have her other arm and all) They exchanged no words as Uzi calmed down a bit and pulled away slowly still in his arms. She shyly looked at N as N looked down at her.

Tears still in her eyes.

“I just.. miss her.. I hope she is okay..“

N was a bit taken back cause this was out of character for Uzi. But now? Her in his arms letting him see her vulnerable side. And opening up to him? He was shocked but also honored she trusted him this much to her like this.

N raised one of his hands and wiped away her tears and rested his hand on her chin.

“She will be fine. I know her, she won't go down so easily. So long we will be fine aslong as we are together. I promise I will protect you.“ N said reassuringly. Uzi did not respond. Still looking up at him before softly smilling and leaning into his touch as his hand came up to her cheek again.

“Thank you N. I know you will.“ She said as she looked at him longingly. Both of their expressions faultered as the slowly leaned in. N stopped when there was a small gap inbetween them.

“May I?“ He said whispering softly. Uzi didnt respond, only pulling him by his shirt and kissing him.

The kiss was sweet. A reassurance for both of them. Uzi mostly guided N because he was knew to this. And she was somewhat experienced from that one awkward kiss she had in kindergarden with this random guy because of a bet her old friend dared her to do.

N used the hand that wasnt holding her cheek to pull her closer by her waist gently. As he did that Uzi let go of his shirt and wrapped her arm around his neck.

Its was going all good till a voice sounded from the hallway N came from...

“What did I say about dating my robot?“ Tessa said as she sassily put her hand on her hip leaning on her right leg.

They parted quickly. N a blushing mess covering his face with his hands. Softly groaning out of embarrassment. Uzi blushing lightly before running up to Tessa face.

“Bite me! I never asked for your input!!“ She said gritting her teeth as Tessa’s stance didn't change.

They bantered back and forth as N was making sure his system didn't over heat.

What a first kiss hey? THOUGHTS??? THIS WAS MY FIRST ONLINE ONE SHOT!! HOPE YA LIKE IT!!!! (not proof read)

-Tammy<3

[youremyheaven]

Hello, Purva bhadrapada, Leo stellium native here, I also wanted to add that I think purva bhadrapada, since it is Brahmin caste is probably more prone to this, then punarvasu and finally vishaka, who in my experience is the most materially/self interested Jupiter nakshatra, which is why we see it in so many celebrities compared to the other two, especially purva bhadrapada.

I've always been at the role of teacher/smart one since I was a little girl, I've always been a bit parentified and I think that comes out a lot in my relationships with nodals, since I'm the one who has to keep things in control, now that we are on the topic, I'm gonna trauma dump about my Magha sun, mula moon friend 😭

I don't want to bad mouth her since I do still have affection for her, but this woman put me through so much. One time she face timed me whilst she was drinking, she got so drunk and then started driving! She face timed me whilst she was drunk driving talking about how sad she was, all whilst I could hear all the dangerous turns she was making, so I called her mom to come get her, I couldn't do it myself cause I live too far away. The next day she wouldn't stop complaining about how pissed she was that I called her mom on her, talking about how she got in trouble, but what was I supposed to do? WATCH HER DIE ON CAMERA?! She made me the villain and not our other friend who she also face timed, who is also nodal.

Another time, she was dating this dude and SHE ALWAYS DID WHATEVER HE SAID FOR NO REASON, one time we were all hanging out as friends, a whole ass group of people, and this girl started sucking this mans dick in front of us 💀😭 like they were not slick in the slightest, I caught sight of it and then I tried to politely tell them to stop before the others noticed, she did not stop and others caught them, to which they all collectively said "Wtf? Stop please" AND THEN SHE COMPLAINED TO ME ABOUT THIS? HOW DO YOU WANT ME TO TAKE YOUR SIDE? 💀

Another time, I was really busy with some work but she texted me about how suicidal she was feeling and how she wanted to attempt, I stayed with her the whole night trying to talk her out of it until she just stopped talking to me all together, I panicked and spent hours debating whether to call someone, since I don't know if she really attempted something, but I didn't want her to be mad at me again. It was one of the most anxious nights of my life. Eventually, she called me and said she was fine 💀 I SPENT ALL THAT TIME WORRIED AND SHE DIDNT SAY ANYTHING! that was my breaking point and I just cut contact with her after that

The worst part of all of this is that she never took any interest in my emotions or any of the problems I had, in all the years of friendship we had I only opened up to her twice and I regretted it immensely both times. She never took any time to take care of me, and would always accuse me of telling her what to do after giving her advice THAT SHE ASKED FOR!

Anyway 💀 yeah it was traumatizing

💀💀💀💀 I'm glad you've cut her out

My Swati Sun, Magha Rising ex was somewhat like this. He texted me saying he's having a panic attack and does not know what to do (at like midnight) and then after I text & call him mad worried, he does not respond. He texts me back the next day afternoon saying that "it was just a spur of the moment thing, I'm alright" like wtf??? He always kept me on edge with his mental health stuff and I was always made to feel like I'm on suicide watch only for him to turn around and be like "oh I'm over it now bc I've drunk away the last thought I had in my head"

He once video called me at 8 in the fucking morning because he wanted company while he smoked

Let me just say that there was a clear imbalance in our relationship bc I had to watch out for him while he did batshit stuff and I could never do the things he did and expect him to have played the supportive role 😒

There was another Magha Moon girl I used to know who completely did unhinged shit, she jumped from man to man every week (not slut shaming, just pointing out poor choices) in India, the arranged marriage system prevails and she received a proposal from some 5'2 30 yr old (when we were like 21) who was loaded 💸and her family rejected the proposal and she was already dating some deadbeat loser. Guess what she did after she broke up with the deadbeat loser many months later?? She started talking to the 30yr old guy who came to her house with a marriage proposal 😭and literally 2-3 weeks later he publicly announced his desire to marry her at the wedding of a mutual relative and she said "I'm not interested in marrying you" PUBLICLY, it was super shameful for the families and all parties involved bc like ??? what on earth was she thinking??? he made his intentions clear from the get go??? did she think she could hook up and rebound with the guy who contacted her family with a goddamn marriage proposal??? and she played the victim when in reality throughout their 3 week tryst she led him on and on and on, why didn't she say she would never ever marry someone like him?? so embarrassing lol

There was a Magha Moon guy who I had mutual friends with and he's a complete deadbeat loser. He hasn't finished his degree (he was my senior at uni) he's broke as hell and all he does is go on road trips and drink till he drops and he had the audacity to ask my friends if I'd be interested in seeing him and I was like 🤢🤮ew no and he literally repeated this process every month no joke. He's asked me out more times than I can count, he's made our friends ask me on his behalf a billion times and I'm like ??? how oblivious or lacking in self awareness do you have to be?? He always told them that he thought I was "hiding" my interest in him 🤮🤢🤭so idk I feel like Nodals can be supremely delulu

[kitmoas]

would u be down to write some earlier days toy x wandanat headcanons?

Of Course!! Sorry its taken so long, Occult definitely interrupted things. (Theres more hcs but these are good for now lol)

We saw the first meeting but what you guys didn't see was the couple weeks of WandaNat AND yelena staying at Toy's house. The entire thing was so chaotic, and Toy was entirely nervous and this just made them more bratty.

Speaking of bratty--let's talk about the breaking of the brat. Toy's bratty side is more or less just sarcasm and teasing with a lot of stupid decisions. Wanda is a very strict person, who wants control and a sense of always knowing what is going to happen before it happens. Toy...never knows about anything that is going to happen nor do they know what control even feels like. After spending their whole life just living by spontaneity and spirals of control, living up to Wanda's wants was incredibly difficult. This meant that while wanda wanted things done at exact times, and wanted specific things said and done correctly, Toy was just struggling to remember what she even said to them. The more that this happened, the more Wanda got frustrated and the more Toy's pride got in the way.

Prideful toy is the most bratty, sarcasm and head strong being the main nature of this Toy. It caused a lotta issues. Any time Toy thought they forgot something, especially in the beginning, they refused to admit it. Their pride getting in the way and instead of just admitting their mistake they got bratty and in turn broke even more rules. Wanda knew what Toy was like before, and knew this was going to be an issue but it never stopped her from being annoyed by the rule breaking.

Playful bratty Toy is just a product of Natasha, and Wanda's biggest annoyance for a long time. Nat doesn't have a huge distaste for brats, nor does she have a lot of strict rules. Especially in the beginning, when no big rules were to be broken Nat would get Toy in such a playful and energetic mood that she would push them to tease and poke Wanda. Sassy lil Toy would try to push Wanda's buttons just to be played with.

WandaNatToy got three years before the two Avengers were sent out on a year long mission.

I think the biggest issue they probably had when they first started was emotions. (Yes, it's still their biggest issue but..like different) Nat was scared to even like Toy for a long time, while Wanda was stuck in Mean Mommy mode almost 24/7.

When the three first started in their dynamic Toy was so smol and of course we see the insecurities, and I think for Natasha this is something that catches her eyes. She sorta..collects sad broken things cause in all reality she is one too.

Especially when they first started the dynamic Toy really struggled with the whole Avengers thing. Never one to like SHIELD they on top of that wasn't a huge fan of the Avengers either, so watching the two go on missions and train and be hurt takes a huge toll on toy. With time it got better but it used to result in a lot of outbursts and issues.

I think in the beginning the fact that WandaNat were dating was actually a bigger issue than most would think. Especially with their issues with showing emotions to Toy in the beginning, take that and mix it with Toy knowing that a softer side exists between the two of them it created insecurities for Toy. They didnt necessarily want to date the older women, but I think anytime different relationships within a power exchange exist there is going to be issues and with out communication there's always going to be those feelings of inadequateness.

I have this intense thought that in the beginning, Toy would hide from WandaNat all the time. Not because they wanted to be bratty but because they were scared of how intense they felt things with them. In Pain is Comfort we see Toy always hiding, and I think that leaked into the dynamic too. The need to process things alone and just isolate was very strong, and I think that this would cause a lot of issues. Not that WandaNat are great at communication but I think when it involves a submissive they are a LITTLE better, and I think they were trying very hard when they met toy to be good at it. So I think this threw a little wrench in their plans.

Sex in the beginning was rough on Toy, mostly just a lot of edging and ruined orgasms. It was rough and viscous. The softness was really only left to aftercare. There was rarely only give during sex, only when lazy sunday vibes came around and Toy was the one giving.

Toy was rarely allowed to cum and each time they were bratty Wanda kept a counter and that's how many times they would have to edge before they could cum, and this is any act of bratty even the smallest little disobedience. Nat would whine in private, telling wanda she wants to overstim Toy but the witch never budged.

[heliswife]

Hello!<3 may I request leo/need with another childhood friend that joins but then starts to be cold and ignore them,and she looks really sick cause she's depressed,and (if you want) shiho confronts her after training, going to her house,and the reason she confronts her is cause her playings worse,she's ditched them multiple times (even saki which makes her sad and worried,and makes miku and the others worried,cause they watch you suffer from the sekai,and after that the band trys to make sure she eats,she comes to practice,amd that she's okay so it doesn't come to thar!

(Sorry if that was to much( ´△｀)

I DIDNT READ THE LEO/NEED STORY SO IDK IF IMMA GET THIS RIGHT BUT ANYTHING FOR MY FANS 🤩🤩🤩

Leo/Need and depressed reader

It was another day, and you and your friends were getting ready for another day of practice. You, Ichika, Saki, Shiho, and Honami were all in a band together, Leo/Need. But you felt... off, and seeing everyone else's smiling faces made you feel worse. Why were you feeling so sad when they were all so happy?

"I've... gotta go." You blurted. The rest of the band looked at you as you exited the classroom.

"I hope y/n is ok..." Saki pouted, picking up your instrument, "This is the fourth time this month."

"They've been acting like this for a while now, I don't really know.." Miku's robotic voice came from Ichika's phone, her hologram appearing.

"Should we go check on them?" Honami frowned.

"I'll go check on them after practice," Shiho said.

Practice did end, and everyone went their separate ways. Shiho walked towards your house, her thoughts clouded with worry and concern. She knocked on the door. No answer. She knocked again. You sluggishly answered the door.

"Ah, Shiho," You were hoping that you didn't have to see anyone, especially anyone in Leo/Need. They shouldn't have to see you, not when you're like this.

"Y/n, can we talk?" Shiho brushed her fingers through her hair. You invited her in and you both sat down on your couch.

"So, what's up?"

"You've been acting..." Shiho hesitated, "weird. Are you ok?"

"Yea! Trust me Shiho, I'm fine!" You reassured her, a fake smile plastered on your face.

Shiho raised an eyebrow.

You broke, "No, I'm really not fine.."

"I knew it. What's wrong?"

You buried your head in her shoulder. Shiho flinched at the touch, but she decided to let you stay. "I fucking hate it Shiho, I feel like shit! I have zero motivation for anything, even my playing has been getting worse!" Tears fell out of your eyes.

Shiho didn't say anything, but she made a flimsy attempt to wrap her arms around you.

"We're here for you, y/n. We're all gonna try our best to help, 'kay?"

You nodded, sniffling.

The next day, there was a knock at the door. You opened it, and there was all of Leo/Need, "What are all you guys doing here?"

"We're here to help you," Ichika said, "Honami made some apple pie for you. We'll help you get better, one step at a time."

[desi-lgbt-fest]

hi i lost a really close friend of mine yesterday due to the fact im transgender. i was out as transgender to her but she still decided to say transphobic stuff to me like example: "trans people are weird" "if you are a girl then you are a girl how tf can you become transgender" ; i tried explaining her but she just wouldn't understand so i decided to ignore her for a while but ofc she started to notice that. so then she tried to "resolve" this problem with me, but she was just guilt tripping me by saying stuff like "you are just sensitive i didnt say anything transphobic" "i have always been by your side how dare you start to behave like this with me because i said trans concept is weird" like bro.. I AM TRANS im obviously going to defend my identity and people who are like me, we still continued fighting and during that entire fight i was just asking her to apologise and accept her mistake but she refused to do that. in the end we decided to just end our friendship or more like, she wanted to end the friendship cuz i all i wanted was just an apology and understanding from her side. it felt really terrible to lose a friend, even though ik she said transphobic stuff to me.. idk it still feels sad. and my point is basically that, have you ever lost a friend because of the fact you are queer, and if yes how did you cope up with it?

This hits hard cause I'm also a trans guy and a similar thing happened to me. I was kicked out of my friend group. I was a little messed up for a while and didn't do much of anything besides school. Eventually I did find another friend group when I changed schools last year for eleventh. (If anyone remembers the gay club i talked about) So as for how I copied with it, I threw myself at academics and eventually found friends. It wasn't exactly healthy but it worked for me. I just want you to know that it may not seem like it now, but one day when you're surrounded with people who truly value and appreciate you for who you are, almost everyday will be a happy day.

But for now it's ok to grieve the friendship. Allow yourself to grieve it because it was an important relationship to you. Make sure you validate those feeling and not shut them down like I did. Also eat your favourite ice cream at those times. This doesn't have anything to do with coping advice. I just like ice cream :)

And if you need to talk, our ask box is always open

-Mod Raissa

[cometrose]

let me try to get all of my hunger game feelings down as quickly as possible

first of all, what a series it was so much better than i remember and i don't like 10 year olds should've been allowed to read this but i think for the most part all of the traumatic shit went over their heads

peeta my son, he has been reduced to a soft spoken bread boy over the years and i did not remember or realize how charming he was in the book gosh he is my babygirl and so sweet

in the first book he was an absolute treasure like the way he flirts with katniss the way he moves a crowd im in awe like i fucking love the interview scene in the first book and the movies do it such a disservice because his crush confession is so shocking that everybody kind of gasps like he has stolen this crowd at the show (im kind of sad cause caesar and peeta duo was so iconic naturally stars)

god katniss my dear i don't know where to start with her

i had no idea she was such a shitty narrator like if i didn't already know the entire plot i might have believed her crazy ass. Especially in the first book the girl is insane. peeta is living his terrible life with a crush while katniss is having a one sided enemies to lovers moment all in her fucking head. It is not until the train home that its like oh he was serious ofc you fucking walnut.

katniss is the star but everyone with eyes knows that if you take peeta away from her she'll breakdown and thats the cruelest part. I think if I was Snow i would've left katpee alone idk why put the spark back in the spotlight ya know?

the second book peeta was another beam of light god the baby line is so iconic and he deserved it malewife manslaughter manipulate he has done it all and did it flawlessly

and he’s still so sweet like trying to get katniss to leave him or backing off when he thinks she's with gale he always so respectful of her space

the fucking locket and pearl are very special to me like he knows and SHE KNOWS there is nothing left for him in 12 but she doesn't listen

there is so much warmth in him from painting rue's portrait for the gamemakers or offering gifts to district 11 like he didnt know thresh and rue but he knew how much it meant to katniss and how awful it was for them to die. Even him talking the morphling as they died just gently describing his paintings and rainbows was so precious

And I think about katniss and peeta were labeled as rebels for simply showing acts of kindness I like how he gets mad and that gentleness disappears but there is always a reason behind it, and him taking care of haymitch is just the sweetest he has attitude but so much warmth

then in MJ goodness its a lot first the torture and then risking it all to warn the rebels and then later like yes he tried to kill katniss but she overlooked it and so will i and hes so mean and cruel when he's out of his mind but can you blame him its not like he's lying??

the moments where that gentleness comes out again are so precious to me when he bakes annie and finnick's wedding cake when he talks sweet to delly its the little moments and how like every single book before he still wants katniss to live and he's crying and begging for death and digging his arms into his wrists to hold himself together

in the end he still wont let katniss die and the first thing he fucking does after getting out of wherever the fuck they stored him was to plant primroses in front of her house and i love him so much

he's really smart its just that no one tells him the fucking plan ever even though they all agree he's a great fucking actor

He knows he hold katniss back and he wants her to let him go but she wont and he wont let her go either and he gives her space to sort out her feelings like yes he loves her he always has and he has never tried to push her and he's just a kind person and i really really really that

At the end of the day i will always treasure a character who is simply a good person

Katniss has her moments of frustration but I don't think I can ever get mad at her because like peeta she is a genuinely good person.

Don't listen to her shitty inner monologue she doesn't have a fucking clue she is so empathetic and compassionate and caring she might not be outwardly sweet but she shows it with her actions, with rue, prim, peeta, everyone and everybody her kindness knows no bounds and she does it because she desperately wants to protect the people she loves

I think so much is lost from katniss' character into shitty ya dystopias of the 10s is that compassionate. She did not become a symbol of rebellion because she really wanted to she did it to protect the people she loves every act of rebellion was a show of love and compassion whether it is burying a little girl and singing her to her death or risking it all to help as many people as she can

peeta says it the best that she has no idea the affect she has on people and her crappy elder sister inner monologue shows that she thinks so little of herself and her ability that she undermines her skills and talents and natural charisma.

So much of her is survival “I want to the people i love to survive” and when innocent people die because of her when her friends fall to save her it hurts and hurts and she is buried under the weight of it all, burying the burden of a rebellion is not something that should be thrust upon a young girl trying to live

she's moody she's feisty but damn does she love deeply and passionately it just looks different.

THG is a very gross book there is no other way to describe everything is far uglier then you remember. The wolf mutts that look like tributes the tears the blood and pain its all so awful. Reading through the pain and the suffering and it does this really odd thing of making you smile in between the moments of terror. I love katniss' flashbacks through the book and how they reveal more and more of the story.

Katniss could have abandoned peeta and left him like he told her too multiple times but she wanted him to live she wanted that boy who gave her bread to survive and she knew if he died she would never recover it may not be the love we are thinking about but it was everything.

I don't think i will forget how awful cato's death is and how my eyes watered reading rue die again. THG is so good and making us despair you come out of that silly book hating nobody there is no tribute that i can afford to hate. The first book has a very unique vibe to it and i like it's style.

CF, catching fire is probably my favorite cause its the least traumatizing. I blame katniss and peeta for that because they are the cutest fucking thing in that stupid book. I argue that it might be a mix of love and codependency thrown in there but the cutest shit.

I totally forgot about the gale katniss love stint at the beginning so that was a total surprise.

I love the cast of catching fire i love them all i love finnick and mags and johanna and beetee and wiress and morphling 6 ( i dont like calling her that) i love the stylists and cinna and effie and i like themmmm. i like them all i love how the city and nation cries for their tributes and you see all of their friends and allies come together before the end begins.

That fucking force field has me smiling every time because its the moment where everybody but katniss realizes how much peeta means to her. The stupid pearl and the stupid locket make my heart hurt because peeta loves her so much and wants her to live and she doesn't care because she'll do anything and everything to keep him alive.

Watching them hold each other in the train, cry over force fields, drag each other through fog and water, hold each other in their arms after terrible jabberjays, even before when she was watching him bring her bread and paint in her home and katniss would stare at his eyelashes. Like she says it would be easy to let peeta go but she will never do that and she can't. Calling out for each other before she blows up the damn force field like fuck you all even if they didn't fall in love i know damn well they should've stayed together.

MJ is such a hollow book you just come out of it with emptiness like im not sad i wont cry but i feel a bit empty because you look at all the things you had and then its all gone, what was katniss fighting for? her sister, her mother, gale? and its all gone in and instant nothing remains, her friends her home the companions she made along the way and it hurts and hurts. You close the book and take a deep sign and just feel whatever is left to feel. Madge's death kind of hurt me she was the symbol behind the symbol and she is just gone. everybody is gone

Like there is nowhere to begin its falling in love even more with finnick and watching him disappear its falling in love with katniss' little camera crew and watching them disappear

its prim the light that started this just disappear and whats left NOTHING

there are so many moments where katniss wants to rip her head off but she can't because she doesn't have time there is no space there is no room its not until she if shipped back to her home all alone that she truly breaks down because she can. there is no more rebellion she has to be strong for there is no prim or mother she has to lead and she is stuck with all the weight all alone.

MJ just left me hollow like maybe if i read this years ago after CF came out i would’ve hand the sticky stuffy feeling i get in chest when i read bittersweet stories but i don’t know if this is sweet enough and it’s not bitter? it’s nothing just nothing is left

i love the parallels the book has with modern society like this is a death game where children have to fight to the death and everyone only paid attention to the love triangle and romance like they did in the games of the fact nobody cared a 16 year old girl would die in senseless violence until they realized she was pregnant like the baby suddenly makes her life valuable

simple acts of kindness labeled as rebellious and innocent children are forced to shoulder the weight of the world when they have no one left. there are so many moments where death would be the kindest thing to any of these characters because they had no hope but hope enters so when they die their death hurts like nothing else.

it tells a story of war and survival that seems so far away but so close. Katniss just wanted to live and the people she loved to live she never asked to become the face of a war but she does it and she stands strong until she can’t anymore i love her and i think her love and empathy has been lost over the years

if i were to talk about the romance okay it’s been years i knew peeta was going to win but seeing him again was so refreshing cause he is so charming and sweet and it makes my heart flutter. if katniss didn’t want him i’ll take him

i don’t hate gale, like his anger and rage caused prim’s death and you can argue having Coin in his ear and having to raise his family all by himself traumatized him so he believes it’s okay to sacrifice innocent lives (children and doctors mind you) for the greater good.

Both boys are rebels and they are good people deep down but peeta is motivated by kindness he does these things because it is the kind thing to do gale does these things because he’s angry for all he has to suffer. Both sides are justified in their feelings but it’s about katniss at the end of the day

there are many moments where katniss is taken back my gale’s cruelness and flame. She doesn’t need him to appeal to her anger to the rebellious aspect of her being. Peeta however appeals to the softer side of her soul the one that nurtures little girls who sings people to sleep he opens up the sweet side of katniss that she is positive doesn’t exist. She can be painfully romantic and she can tell everyone she doesn’t see the beauty in the world but she does she sees it every time.

There is more to katniss that fighting and hunting and i don’t think gale knew that. At the end of the day the only option was Peeta because he complimented the side of her that was buried by the weight of the world and i think that adds more meaning to her life than anything else

there are so many characters to talk about j loved ever second with haymitch and how he acts like he doesn’t care but every single tribute that has come after him has left a hole in his heart. My district 12 tributes are disasters but they truly care about each other probably every only people left in the world who would risk it all

[ggukiepie]

WOWOW. one of your girls is so yummy.

very excited for next part and to see your perspective and ideas.

but for me i think we’d need more angst rather then revenge. im assuming jk has lots of friends who he sleeps with and its not just yn. which means to him yn is nothing special (unfortunately) thats why i dont see the point of ‘revenge’ because realistically i dont think jk really cares if yn fucks with someone else which has been proved in already the first part. (jk knows yn sleeps with jimin yet doesnt seem to really care and only wants sex.) he only looked for her to sleep with her in the first place & not because he wanted to have a friendly conversation or check up on her. he started touching her before he knew about her sleeping with someone else.

its kinda the same with yn as yn also slept with jimin (which was so hot.) , except she seems to be interested in jungkook. but i dont think yn is really letting jk walk all over her because shes well aware that jk sleeps with other woman and she knows he lied to her yet choose to not speak up. although i love how she can control herself cause if i was in her place id try bring attention to myself and make jk jealous OR js go up to him and slap him especially when he said he ‘just’ left the party while he has a red stain on his shirt 🥸 but by the way she controlled herself and didnt even let jk know that she saw him with another woman, it seems like she knows her feelings wouldnt matter to him because its probably casual for him to be with another (multiple) woman each night.

AND FOR THAT REASONNN^^^ i think the song suits it smmm 😣😣 it fits so perfectly. ive been nonstop listening to the song before i read it and its the first story that im so interested in to write about my opinion. ANYWAYS BACK TO THE STORY.

so maybe shes okay with just simply being one of his girls because she knows she wouldnt be anything more & also she may not want to stop sleeping with him because thats the only way he can be close to her relationship wise.

which means yn is literally just one of his girls for some of his nights. I LOVE THAT SMSMSM. also everything here is simply my opinion and arguments as to why there should be more angst rather then revenge for atleast now until theres more development in their characters and we’d know more. althought idk how many parts ur willing to give in for this. BUT thats simply my perspective, if u think of the story differently and wanted to choose a different way for them thats cool too

i talk alot im gonna stfu now but i really like ur writing and ur idea for it was really cool. im waiting for the next part, take ur time and i hope everythings well for you. 😁

-soo ??

nooooo you're literally so so sweet. thank you so much for taking the time to send me this message. i love ur review !!

im glad u got to see how i related the song and the story. yeah, yn is a bit...not in the right head space 😭 atp she's already given up on the chance that maybe jk might like her back. ofc she can't help but feel sad bc she fell for him. ure right that she's content with being one of his girls, she'll take whatever jungkook gives her :( she didn't even have to ask jk if he slept w that girl bc she already knows 🤧

on jk finding out abt yn and jimin - jk did ask her if they're friends "like us?" i wonder what he meant 🤔

maybe i can write a short backstory of yn and jk hmmmm

[ladylooch]

https://www.tumblr.com/ladylooch/757365055689981952/i-want-to-share-something-personal-as-an-ask-cause?source=share

Alright Thank you. I will try to be as brief as I can.

One of my friends and her bf have a very close friend who was looking for a gf. (We are 21 years old, and he hasn't been in a relationship before)

They wanted us to meet.

We went out, just the four of us first, last month. We found that we have many things in common so we decided to get to know each other better.

We live 9 hours away from eachother. We faced timing each other and we spoke every day through messages. My friend was really happy and she was like " come on he has to be your bf...you have so many things in common...)

However, I didn't fall in love. I liked him as a person, but that's it. At some point, I didn't want to speak with him every day.

But he did fall in love ( that's what he said last week). For me, since the begging, something was off. I tried to give us time.  he wanted us to call it a relationship, but I didn't want to.

Yesterday I said to him that I didnt want us to be more than friends.

I made him sad. My friend said that I shouldn't have given him hope. I didn't she and her bf insisted on calling it a relationship while I didn't want that. That we were the perfect much cause had so many things in common. They used to talk only for me and him and making plans for our future... so THEY encouraged him. At some point I felt like I was compromise with what they want. I felt trapped.

So I ended it.

But I am really angry with them,  blaming me. I didn't want to hurt him. I said only two times that I miss him, I did it because I thought it would help me to feel something. Nothing happened. Am I wrong here?

Babe. You are NEVER obligated to be with someone because others set you up. Period. Your feelings here are completely valid.

It really sounds like there needs to be a conversation about your feelings and boundaries with your friends. It’s okay to share with them that you’re disappointed with how things transpired and that it wasn’t okay. Depending on how that conversation goes, you’ll have more information to decide how that relationship will look moving forward. Sometimes, friendships aren’t forever and this definitely feels like an eye opening situation for those friendships.

I’m so sorry you’re experiencing this. It’s disappointing to hear you felt trapped in a situation because of others. Just know whatever decision is best for you when it comes to love is okay 😘😘

Sending you hugs and love 💕