#i didnt invite him in because we are doing drugs in here | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

blookmallow · 3 years

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i finally went through the whole midsommar script on scriptslug, theres a LOT of things that were changed, a lot of details i didnt catch, and i have. many things to say. here we go

theres a lot of reverse parallels with dani and christian; at the beginning she's worried she's leaning on him too much (do you feel held by him?) and is concerned about "roping him into (her) family crap" - when she's the one about to be pulled into the hårgas family

she worries about overwhelming christian with her personal life, when it's christian (or, more accurately, pelle, since christian doesn't actually want to invite dani in the first place) about to pull her into something she's not prepared to handle

(also "girlfriend" there is the straight girl version of the word lmfao dani deserves a gf though)

"if he's gonna leave you for being Too Much like that, good riddance" vs uh, what actually happens to christian

pelle is drawing flowers when we first see him

kind of blunt christian foreshadowing lmfao but im also curious if it was actually pelle who said that (i dont remember and a lot of things got switched around from the script to the final version) - if pelle Already Knows at this point, and whether he's earnestly encouraging christian in the direction the hårgas want him to go under the impression that theres nothing wrong with it, or if this is some kind of secret joke at christian's expense that no one catches because. no one knows what he really means

christian brushing dani off vs pelle immediately being very attentive to her from the beginning

they joke but between christian's "approved mating" with maja and dani being drawn into the cult, this is exactly what's happening to them

playful banter that becomes way more sinister considering the truth under it,

i noticed this watching it too but for some reason, Only this one time, christian is really adamant about wanting to wait for dani and wanting to do this Together and i dont know why. he's completely dismissive of her every other time. why does he stand his ground so much on this

i guess this is the first cultural thing they engage in, the first time they are drugged (this time it's their Choice to get high, they know what they're taking and what it will do, though) so maybe there's. some layer of irony, something something christian wants dani to be drawn into the hårgas culture with him, when that ends up being what kills him and breaks her, i dont know

dani has a way worse time with the drug hallucinations in this version

also apparently tumblr doesnt allow more than 10 images even in text posts anymore which is cool and not going to fuck up my blogging at all :) so im just gonna type out. the rest of the excerpts. i guess

Dani sees a DEAD RABBIT. Its innards are splayed.

Dani warily approaches. Magnetized but repulsed. As she nears, the FEAR rises in her. She gets close enough to finally see...

The rabbit is being devoured by ANTS.

Dani looks mortified, but her eyes are glued. She LEANS IN to look closer, but then -- she sees ANTS on her arm. (Whether they're there or not is unclear.)

Dani SCREAMS. She violently SLAPS at her arm. She then swipes at her other arm, and starts slapping at her NECK and FACE, as if she were engulfed in ants. (She's not.)

Dani looks down. The earth seems to now be a PULSATING CARPET OF ANTS.

i dont remember this happening so im assuming it was cut or my memory is even worse than i thought, but anyway this is a really interesting parallel to Hereditary and i dont know if there's some deeper meaning there or if ari aster just likes the grotesque visual of something dead and rotting and swarming with ants but i like it

INGEMAR

Well... we were all working on the same farm, and funny enough: I was dating Connie when Simon and me first became pals.

Simon's eyes narrow.

CONNIE

(correcting) Well - we'd been on a date. Which I wasn't even actually aware that it was a date.

INGEMAR

(backtracking jovially) Right, no, I meant that Connie and me had just become friends - we decided to be friends - and that was just before Connie and Simon started dating. And now they're engaged!

I think Ingemar may have been attempting to recruit Connie as their potential next May Queen/drawing her into the "family" - maybe he and Pelle had the same mission, bring back someone from outside to join us, and someone to be sacrificed. it sounds like Ingemar wanted to date Connie, and wanted to bring her back as the new may queen, but Simon got in the way, so now Ingemar is knowingly bringing them here intending for them to be sacrifices, possibly out of spite (I'm not sure if Ingemar is chosen as a sacrifice at the end Because he failed to bring back the new may queen, or if that was the plan regardless)

it's possible Ingemar and Pelle are rivals in this, and Pelle succeeded where Ingemar failed (though ultimately they both brought the necessary outsiders for the final ritual, so neither of them actually Failed, but. y'know. pelle doesn't get sacrificed and his target became may queen and joins them

it's also interesting that like. on the one hand, connie and simon appear to have a healthy, supportive relationship. but because of that, because the cult was unable to tear them apart or single them out, they both die. they're also the most vocally against the violence of the cult, they ask the most questions and try to leave, which. i think they were planned to be sacrificed either way but that is the moment they're taken away

so their stability, strength, and agency were actually their downfall

vs dani and christian have a very weak, miserable relationship, and dani is in an absolutely TERRIBLE place mentally, she's already feeling incredibly isolated, christian keeps pushing her to accept the questionable aspects of the cult, to give in rather than fight back (though he doesn't catch on that anything's wrong until Way Too Late)

so dani lives, in some sense because of the brokenness in her life

but then, did she really win in all this? would it really be better to live that life, in that place with all sense of self destroyed, living with that guilt and trauma forever? there's such a thing as a fate worse than death. i don't know. i dont know

anyway. instead of seeing the artwork depicting the love ritual, everyone gathers to watch a short film made by the hårgas showing it much more explicitly; i think the. tapestry? painting? whatever it was just being shown briefly to plant the concept in our minds is much more effective

Near Dani, a BLONDE WOMAN (30s) cradles the CRYING BABY.

DANI

(inquiring) Is your baby okay?

BLONDE WOMAN

Oh, she will be. She has a bone problem.

this, and also,

DANI

Excuse me? Can I ask if you know what's happening over there?

HÅRGAN MAN

(looking over) Ah. Poor little Einar has the, em - where the bones are bad?

there's this... recurring thing about the babies in the village having some kind of bone condition and a whole ritual about passing a baby through the branches of a tree to cure it or something? which i didnt really understand and i couldnt remember if that happened in the final version or not, but i do remember there was a baby constantly crying in the background often enough that i started noticing it

i dont know what that's about. could they be doing something to the babies that's causing this? something to do with inbreeding? (seems unlikely, since it seems like they only explicitly allow inbreeding to create their sacred child to receive the visions or w/e, it doesn't seem like it's a common enough thing to be causing so many babies to have the same bone condition)

- Pelle stops the group on their way to the first sacrificial ritual to actually explain what's about to happen. He warns them they might not want to see it, and it may be strange to them, but very important and beautiful to the hårgas - rather than catching them off guard (though of course it's still incredibly horrifying to witness, even so) (I'm not sure if the intention in cutting this was just to amplify the shock factor and leave us, and the outsiders in the group, in the dark until the moment everything goes down, or if maybe pelle neglecting to explain it could be meant to imply this is such a natural thing to him it didn't even occur to him to warn them about it)

Josh can't suppress a smile - anticipating Pelle's answer

josh also seems downright gleeful about the whole thing, and there was... sort of a little of this in the final version but it seems. worse in the script for some reason, like this is funny to him, or maybe it's just the "I Know Something You Don't Know" factor, but it seems like a really weird and insensitive reaction given that he's an anthropology student who is familiar with this as a cultural rite

it's also two men who die in the. cliff ritual. rather than a man and a woman, not sure why

then we have another ritual where. i already have forgotten how it went but it was something to do with dropping a tree into the river as a kind of offering, i think, but then THIS happens

THIN MAN (CONT'D)

(in Swedish) But I do not wish to risk offending our generous Mother.

LARGE WOMAN

(in Swedish) Nor do I. Yet we have already given our finest jewels and most fruitful tree. What else could we possibly offer?

Then a YOUNG BOY (10) is heard among the crowd.

YOUNG BOY (O.S.)

You can use me!

The crowd OPENS UP to reveal the young boy. He is adorned in the same jewels and flowers as the tree. His costume is an imitation of the tree's. He is clearly reciting lines (with less confidence than the Thin Man and Large Woman).

LARGE WOMAN

(in Swedish) You, young Ame, wish to offer your life to our beloved Goddess?

YOUNG BOY

(in Swedish) If She will have it.

THIN MAN

(in Swedish) How brave you are, little Ame!

YOUNG BOY

(in Swedish) Brave? What is brave in going home?

Horns are played as the Young Boy steps forward to stand before the men who tossed the tree. They reluctantly lift the boy up and carry him to the river.

this sends dani into a panic, they've already witnessed one human sacrificial ritual, and she understandably believes they're about to drown this child, but then there's this. weird staged protest before they go through with it

The crowd erupts into a CACOPHONY OF STAGED PROTEST. The men stop swinging the boy. After sufficient heckling, the men RELEASE the boy. He then runs to SIV, bashfully burying his face into her dress. She pats his head with pride.

Everyone APPLAUDS. The performance seems to be over. Dani looks completely disoriented.

so. it seems like everyone has memorized lines and understands what's happening (except the outsiders) so i guess the intention was "we're gonna pretend we're going to sacrifice a child to the river but then stop it at the last second and let him go" for... some reason

DANI

I don't want to acclimate! I want to leave.

christian keeps pushing for dani to just try to understand/fit in, to get used to it, but she's fighting it and wants out, again, her finally giving in and becoming fully one with the cult is the end of them both (well. dani lives. but y'know)

- pelle mentions that maja is 15, which i didnt catch, and makes this all. Worse

- mark's fatal mistake is different; instead of, uh. defiling the ancestral tree (which i think was literally where they put the ashes of the dead? i forget) he's actually trying to take part in a cultural tradition the men of the village are doing; they're collecting charms that have been hung in the trees and he tries to join in

Mark has arrived at an OAK TREE with a particularly large PINECONE (also bearing a flower) at the top. Its base has been tied with rope. Mark begins to CLIMB it.

CHRISTIAN

Wait, dude. Maybe hold off.

MARK

I'm gonna "gather a charm."

Josh and Christian look uneasy as Mark quickly scales the Oak. As he climbs past a few branches, a BEARDED MAN (40s) is heard off-screen:

BEARDED MAN (O.S.)

NEJ!!!

Mark FREEZES. The Bearded Man runs over. This is ULF.

ULF

(in Swedish) WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! GET OFF! GET DOWN!

Mark, now standing motionless on a branch, looks stupefied. The branch suddenly SNAPS beneath his feet, and he comes TUMBLING to the ground. He lands HARD on his ass.

Ulf desperately picks up the BROKEN BRANCH. He then notices that the tree's mud-plugged CLEFT (wrapped in rope) has BROKEN OPEN.

ULF (CONT'D)

(in Swedish) Oh no no no... What have you done?

so instead of doing something vulgar and Obviously insensitive and insulting, he's Trying to engage with their culture, just in a clueless and clumsy way, which is an interesting change

in the final version i think it makes mark seem less sympathetic/more He Had It Comin and makes you sympathize more with the cult members, there's less grey area so i think it makes you see their side a little clearer. personally i felt disgusted too, like yeah he didn't Know it was their ancestral tree but he's such a bitch about it when, once you realize what he's done, it's such an obvious insult, he should have been fucking mortified but he brushes it off so casually

while it's easier to relate to "so he broke a branch, so what" i think the concept of defiling a grave (or at least a memorial place) is something american audiences can readily understand and relate to while the spiritual tree connection is something more foreign

ulf is really, really distraught about the tree, it seems to be a huge personal blow to him emotionally and mentally

MARK

What the fuck? How is it his tree? What's even happening?

PELLE

That tree cured him of pneumonia when he was a baby.

MARK

What? How?! No it didn't.

PELLE (CONT'D)

He believes it did. And now his health and his life are tied to that tree. If it gets hurt, he gets hurt.

i dont remember if this is worded the same in the final version but in the scene where pelle tries to connect with dani

DANI

You're a very empathetic person, do you know that?

PELLE

Well, our first language here is strictly emotion-based. So I could just be using that to manipulate you.

Dani pauses at this. Pelle sticks his TONGUE out, teasing. Dani SMILES, relieved.

PELLE (CONT'D)

You are very vulnerable, though. And I mean that in a great way. It's very rare. It's beautiful.

boy this is scary as shit given how things are about to go down

i cant figure pelle out, i really have no clue how much of this is him just honestly thinking he's doing what's best/what's right because it's his culture and he's been raised in this and doesn't know anything else, and how much is just. complete manipulation and toying with them all

PLUMP ELDER

(to Connie now) Say you learn that your partner can't part with even a fraction of his own comfort to give you what you need. And show that you're appreciated.

i really think they were trying to bait connie into joining them too, maybe it Wasn't completely decided whether connie or dani would become the next queen (since the number of sacrifices they needed would mean everyone was intended to die except one of the girls, and potentially one more since dani could have chosen to save christian) (though i think it's also very likely they fully expected her to choose him. between pelle drawing her away and christian being manipulated into cheating on her they definitely seemed to. not have his best interests in mind) (i dont like christian and i cant say how much of this was his choice and how much was the cult breaking him down too but still)

in the final version, christian barely spares a thought for it when he's asked to sleep with maja, he doesn't protest at all - it's possible he was scared, or still under drug influences, but he still doesn't say Anything against it, but interestingly in this version he does hesitate at least a little, and it's also revealed that pelle had already planted the idea in maja's head and told her about christian before all of this - so his hinting about christian impregnating swedish women probably was self aware

SIV

You have been approved to mate with her. You're an ideal astrological match and she has fallen in love with you.

CHRISTIAN

We haven't even spoken.

SIV

She fell in love with you before you came. Pelle showed her a photo.

CHRISTIAN

(pause) I have someone here with me. I'm with Dani.

like he still goes through with it, but he seems way more reluctant and actually does stop to think about dani

anyway. i think thats all i have

#media analysis #midsommar

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niall-hor-man · 3 years

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i just put in a request for c, n, w, z for harry but i didnt realize there were two lists, so just to be clear those were for lost #1 (if youre even still doing it). but thanks! and sorry for all the trouble

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically…)

H loves to come inside you; it makes him feel much closer to you (even if it’s in a condom)

Really doesn’t mind tasting his own cum; in fact, when you haven’t come yet and he’s finished inside of you, he really likes eating you out and tasting some of it

Loves when you keep it on your tongue after you suck him off and stick it out before you swallow (or spit, he has no preferences)

He hates finishing on your face; it’s basically just him jacking himself off when he gets close just so that he can try not to hit your eye or get it in your hair. It’s too much work and not worth the pay off

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Humiliation kink

Doesn’t like being made to feel jealous; not particularly you into you flirting with other guys unless it’s during a threesome/something he’s involved in

Nothing extremely painful; he doesn’t like to see you hurt, and he doesn’t love pain himself. It’s more so about the power imbalance that comes with it that he likes in milder BDSM

Public sex

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

High sex, because I can’t help myself and that’s my favorite kind of sex

You two didn’t smoke together often; you were more of a drinker yourself, not that you minded weed

It was your best friend’s birthday, and since you had the biggest place out of the group, she asked if she could host a smoke session at your house (Harry was invited, of course)

And who were you to decline a night with your friends? So you happily partook that evening, sharing a joint (or two…) with H, obviously not worried about matching him hit for hit

The night was long, and fun, filled with laughs and junk food, but things were winding down, guests dwindling to just Sammy and your closest friends and their SOs

The last joint of the evening was being passed around when “Landslide” by Fleetwood Mac came on

You immediately abandoned the circle, standing and pulling Sammy up with you; this song was one of your guys’ all time favorites, and you couldn’t stop yourself from pulling her close to you, stupidly swaying to the song with an arm draped around her neck

H watched you as he took a drag from the blunt, but you were completely oblivious, pressed closely to Sammy, giggling and singing to the song as her hands roamed your back and you two spun around lazily

“Can I have a birthday kiss?” She whined, face pressed into the crook of your neck. You giggled and obliged, a hand soft on her face as your mouths slotted together as it had done so many times before

(Harry never minded; he knew it was platonic, and he didn’t quite care that you and Sammy kissed, because you were both in serious relationships and never strayed. You were just a cuddly friend, and he loved that about you)

This time, though, he couldn’t help his arousal; seeing your soft, pliant lips against someone else’s, seeing the way your body swayed to the music–he needed you, and he needed you bad

The kiss was just that, and you two returned to a heap on the floor once the song ended, giggling as the last of the joint was used up. Soon enough, everyone was heading home (Ubering, of course) as more Fleetwood Mac played.

You crawled towards Harry, ready to give him a fat kiss before cleaning up and heading to bed, but he had some other ideas

He pounced on you almost immediately, lips hungry and desperate as he pulled you close to him, making you giggle into his mouth.

“Have no idea how bad I want you right now, kitten.”

“Really?” You smirked, hand trailing down to trace his bulge through his pants. “Then take me right here.”

“Oh, you’re in for it now,” he teased, wrapping his arms around you and rolling you two, laying you back gently. You squealed and giggled, but any amusement was soon lost as he pressed his lips to your neck and grinded down on you

You couldn’t help the moan that escaped as he palmed your breast, finally realizing just how desperate you were for him. Your core was aching, and you couldn’t help but roll your hips up into him

He liked you like this; inhibitions gone and hands traveling up and down his body unapologetically, exploring every inch of him, squeezing his biceps and letting out soft moans into his mouth

“Like that, kitten?” He hummed, rolling his hips down against yours

“Yes,” you panted, pulling his shirt up to palm at his bare back. “Need more, H, please.”

He chuckled, pulling off your clothes as quickly as he could manage before making work on himself. You didn’t wait, palming your breast and bringing your hand to your clit while you watched him undress, moaning already

He loved to see you like this, sensitivity amplified by the weed in your system, inhibitions thrown to the wind, taking whatever you wanted and putting your own pleasure first. His eyes glinted and he replaced your hand with his, rubbing your dripping core as your lips connected.

You moaned into him, arching your back, rutting up, desperate for his cock.

He took the hint, pressing into you slowly, and your legs wrapped around him immediately, needing to feel him deeper. The sex was slow, and deep, and so, so good. (When isn’t high sex good?)

It wasn’t long until you came, with his deep thrusts and circles on your clit, with how sensitive the drug had made you, with how hot Harry looked above you, eyes glazed over and pleasure on his face. He followed soon after, finishing inside you, earning another moan and a long, deep kiss

“We definitely need to do this more often, H.”

(Of course he agreed)

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Harry loves pillow talk, so he tries to stay awake for a bit, to ask about your day and tell you how beautiful you are and how much he loves you

Keyword: tries

Being that close to you, feeling you around him, seeing you in such pleasure brings him such contentment that afterwards he is in such a state of bliss that he could just pass out

He usually does pretty quickly, not that you mind. You are always asleep first after sex, curled up to him and content

#harry styles #harry styles smut #harry smut #harry styles headcanon #hc #headcanon #one direction #one direction smut #one direction hc #smut hc #smut #also surprise yall im back

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mde1011 · 3 years

Text

when i got into the dsmp i started a note and wrote down any quotes or moments i thought were funny, and im bored at 3 am so enjoy some of them

how is being arrested real? just walk away!!!”

⁃ “once an american always an american. go...go protests masks...or something”

⁃ “...yEAH BUT DID YOU HAVE WAP” “what’s...whats wap?” “...WORSHIP AND PRAYER”

⁃ “HOW DO YOU LIKE POLITICS MOTHERFUCKER”

⁃ “i’m naked” “...no you’re not” “i can be...”

⁃ “uhhhh i’m in a high stress situation....i deal with these poorly”

⁃ “i should go first i’m naked”

⁃ “yEAHHHH WE KILLED AN OLD MAN WITH HEART PROBLEMS”

⁃ “what are you going to do?” “i...have no idea i think i’m gonna start out by punching a tree”

⁃ “tOmmy...did i just hear you say shit ass looking mofo?”

⁃ “i aM gOinG to gEt nAkeD to iNtiMidAtE HiM”

- “...i want freedom !” “you want BALLS.”

⁃ “...down the line. yeah that’s where we discover the art of cannibalism” “oh it’s an art?” “it’s an art”

⁃ “oh there’s some logs here. wonder what they’re saying to me. uh huh. uh huh. oh yeah that’s very racist” “tommy you gotta burn those logs.” “burn ‘em before they spread their racism to other logs”

⁃ “are you pooing?” “*whisper* i’m charging up-““ “he’s ejaculating on the tent.” “he’s WHAT?”

⁃ “he’s sPEEDING. LOOK HOW FAST HES GOING” “i’ve taken so many drugs. someone tell badboyhalo”

⁃ “we should make a pact. and that pact is, uh, we make a book...and in that book...we declare that saying ‘muffin’ is a, is a slur”

⁃ “i was thinking what if one day your bladder just,,,,stopped working.....AGGGFFFFF i was tHINKING ABOUT THAT THE OTHER DAY IVE GOT TO PREPARE IVE GOT YO PREPARE thisiswhydiapersaintthatbad”

⁃ <sapnap> i think i was ordered to um

<tommyinnit> boobed

<sapnap> kill you

<tommyinnit> boobs

<sapnap> if this happens

<tommyinnit> think about boobs man

<sapnap> tsk tsk tommy

<tommyinnit> iM DISGRUNTLED

⁃ “why is this deadman so good at making drugs”

⁃ “i just learnt that a girl hero is called a heroine and it freaked me out”

⁃ “memento memento me-“ “that’s actually the worst word i know so you can’t keep saying that” “oh, really.....? have you ever heard the term ‘racist’?”

⁃ “the person who invented the phrase ‘be yourself’ hadn’t met you!”

⁃ “you seem like the type of guy whose dad would throw him overboard as a joke but he would just drown”

⁃ “shout out to dream for twerking!”

⁃ “let’s talk......let’s talk about sex” “wonderful. what do you think about sex, lazarbeam?” “i ain’t saying SHIT in front of a sixteen year old”

⁃ “what the- i think i’m seeing things” “....tommy i told you not to drink the sea water” “well i DID drink the sea water because it TOLD ME TO”

⁃ “it’s like the movie when that guy gets stranded on an island and has sex with a coconut” “whAT?? dream- dream, you vastly misinterpreted this” “it one hundred percent does”

⁃ “oh mastICATE.....isn’t that when a fish turns inside out?”

⁃ “what are some bad words YOU know, clay?” “i don’t-“ “what about ‘terrorist’?”

⁃ “my mind has to be on the same frequency as jesus when he walked on water”

⁃ “you wanna know why i was late?” “no i really do-“ “i was having a MASSIVE poo. really just a HUGE poo”

⁃ “jUST CUZ YOU TALK ABOUT POO ONCE AND THEN YOU SEE A BIG GREEN BASTARD AMD YOUR LIFE IS FLASHING BEFORE YOUR EYES AND THEN YOU CANT REMEMBER- YOU CANT REMEMBER IF IT WAS YESTERDAY OR TOMORROW YOU HURT THAT WOMAN”

⁃ “i love america. mmmmm patriotism

⁃ “LIFE IS NOT A HAPPY SONG KERMIT THE FROG”

⁃ “please stop taking the cock”

⁃ “two four six eight who do we appreciate? not the government let’s gooooooo”

⁃ “oooo look at the dogs😍” “wHAAAAAT. WHAT. THERES ACTUALLY LIKE. A MILLION DOGS HERE. WHAT THE HELL.”

⁃ “yeahhhhh bitch i stab- i don’t stab women-“ “woooooooah tommy you stab women?” “heyyyy sapnap”

⁃ “do you know what happens whne you reach the top of the ladder? there’s only one place to go.” “.....side to side😨” “down.” “...i really thought you were gonna say side to side🥺”

⁃ “one last time.�� “just like in hamilton😓”

⁃ “you don’t know how many times i’ve mistaken trees for hot women”

⁃ “ i don’t feel better i just destroyed penis”

⁃ “i’ve never seen a snail with bad morals”

⁃ “awwwwwwww😢 i’m doin’ drugs🤧 just like the good ol’ days😓” “.....define the ‘good old days’” “back when i did drugs”

⁃ “have you ever fought a baby? i have and it was trivially easy to defeat, phil.”

⁃ “the only other i egg i know about was the one i learnt about in school....not allowed to say which one....”

⁃ “did you know one of my new years resolutions is to be more like 2010 justin bieber?”

⁃ “apparently cats don’t lay eggs”

⁃ “thinking about trees- if i saw a tree with a beard mmmmmm...holy shit id hit it”

⁃ “we’re in hell dude. science doesn’t matter here”

⁃ “i cant die i cant die i’m GOD”

⁃ “hey pig your letter is the same as pussy, hmm?”

⁃ “are we cool are we COOL guys? CRYSTAL COOL like CRYSTAL METH”

⁃ “he- he’s crying because - because i killed his mother isn’t that right? mother dearest mother deadest mother gonest”

⁃ “bro ive been drinking since i was six and let me tell you...it’s not good to be drinking that young. led to some poor life decisions when i was 8” “what did you do” “i cant say” “...who did you hurt” “....only myself”

⁃ “je suis” “ay i know what that mean you prick” “what does it mean” “it means you’re racist dickhead”

⁃ “i’d never poo in the presence of a women- which is why i’m scared to get a girlfriend i think i’d just explode”

⁃ “biff tannen is one of my idols”

⁃ “black widow died and i thought ‘wow it should’ve been the man’ because he’s a man”

⁃ “there’s a character called captain america and i think he’s stupid”

⁃ “i’m a GOOD LAD i’ve got GOOD MORALS and if i’ve DONE SOMETHING WRONG it WASNT MY FAULT I JUST GOT A LITTLE EXCITED”

⁃ “sam....what’s the longest you’ve ever wiped your arse? for me it’s 48 minutes”

⁃ “why are you standing in the shitter?” “....that’s a SINK” “uhhh welllll” “hAVE YOU SHAT IN THE SINK?????”

⁃ “you’re like a living ghost” “...i think that’s called a human, tubbo”

⁃ “maybe i accidentally kill ranboo and we just never see him again *laughs* ay? and then i go ‘april foooools!!!’ and then i kill their child. i kill him”

⁃ “you built a penis” “it’s a PENIS OF SAFETY”

⁃ “i saw the penis of safety and i pressed mouse button four my friend”

⁃ “the penis on the other side of the river is larger” “ive heard that before....”

⁃ “you’ve turned the penis into a wall” “a wall of safety is better than a penis of safety” “i think the penis was better”

⁃ “if you wanna make a penis i know where we can make a penis and i know how big we can make it”

⁃ “i don’t conceptualize death but i think i just saw it!”

⁃ “yeah i- yeah i know i’m- my first impression on eret was making him read a shrek fan fiction so- i’m not one for first impressions”

⁃ “i-i’m scared for him- i’m scared OF him. yknow the first thing he did when he saw me was imMEDIATELY strip down then jump off then immediately die?”

⁃ “where are you?” “getting stabbed, one second”

⁃ “you’ve seen the joker?” “yea-“ “i resonate a lot with that man” “...oH. oh. that’s- that’s not-“

⁃ “he bURNT DOWN MY HOUSE” “out of LOVE”

⁃ “ohhhh my god stop making me play with the neighbor kid” “o-okay if you don’t go play with him i’m kicking you out of the house-“ “wHAT THE FUCK???”

⁃ “there’s a STRIP CLUB” “oh yeah for wood!” “are you into strippers?” “i mean all it does is make the wood look different so....yeah it doesn’t really do much”

⁃ “no no we have categories, we have the poo-saster- you might have to take a shower after-“ “no, no i’m gonna stop you right there”

⁃ “as i was saying you can have a 1-to-3 wiper, that’s an A-tier poo, my friend”

⁃ “i want you to eat your sock”

⁃ “you know i’m a child- i’m a minor” “sO AM I DICKHEAD”

⁃ “everyone is calling you dresus” “yeah i am”

⁃ “ayyyy ayyyy los DROGAS LOS DROGAS” “no no big q- she’s thirteen- how does this happen with every 13 year old girl you meet?”

⁃ “my poo has muscles like i do”

⁃ “i cant hear the words among us without crying they’ll say there are aliens among us and in the back youll just hear me *choking noises*”

⁃ “tubbo...tubbo is like...tubbo is like mary” “.....did you just call me the Virgin Mary?”

⁃ “i’m just saying, have you ever seen me and jesus in the same room?”

⁃ “do you smoke sam” “all the time”

⁃ “i thought you were talking about the- the speeeeed drug”

⁃ “have you ever sold drugs to kids sam?” “......no”

⁃ “we can’t let the girlboss rule because she will gatekeepe my feelings” “that would not be good”

⁃ “THEY DIDNT INVITE ME TO KILL ME???? NOW I HAVE FOMO”

⁃ “you have obviously taken part in scientology-“ “i have not-“ “you’ve donated to tom cruises cult shit”

⁃ “....am i worse than david dobrik?” “are- are we worse than david dobrik?” “oh- oh god”

⁃ “he has broke one of the rules of the hit best seller ‘the bible’- this kind of looks like a cock”

⁃ “well i’ve moved now, KING”

⁃ “what is an angsty teen and am i one? because when i USED to hang out with my friends they use the word angst a lot”

⁃ “yeah yeah yeah i bench”

⁃ “sam i think i’m angsty i think i’m an angsty tik tok teen looking for a community to help me out”

⁃ “i don’t think you’ve followed the train of logic all the way-“ “there’s a TRAIN INVOLVED????????”

⁃ “i’m like the orange fucker from that animated rom com”

⁃ “i’m under the influence of big cock”

⁃ “it’s meeee big cock man”

⁃ “i cant look away” “sam please use your twitter alt for this” “he’s horny on maaaainnnnn” “and what’s wrong with that?” “.......”

⁃ “you’re a FUCKING IDIOT” “IM NOT A FUCKING IDIOT, BIG COCK”

⁃ “i’m gonna call you ‘cockity’ big cock” “sHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT THE FUCK UP-“

⁃ “STOP LOOKING AT IT” “ITS SO VIBRANT”

⁃ “at least this guy doesn’t have a cock-“ “itS NOT A COCK” “horny on main jesus-“

⁃ “is that a cock” “SHUT THE FUCK UP”

⁃ “.....i wanna see the inside of it again do a split”

⁃ “okay sam-“ “tommy that guy wants your cock-“ “no- no he doesn’t sam”

⁃ “sam, sam and i need you to hear this....dont. act. up.” “i don’t act up-“ “you were acting up-“ “i-“ “you were caught in 8k.” “but- but we both agree it’s not a tie-“

⁃ “please don’t tell me to kill cockity i am overwhelmed”

⁃ “why is there an anus in my tie?”

⁃ “what are the legal implications of this?” “...i mean besides hell you’re good”

⁃ “whatre the legal implications?” “i mean usually that’s a no-no but today, today it’s fine” “yeahhh lets go murder his family”

⁃ “i’d be an antivax landlord”

⁃ “jesus never does drugs” “well- well you turned water into wine king and wine is alcohol”

⁃ “can you put on pants i can’t- i cant stop looking at it- sorry tommy i know you said-“ “yeah sam i know you tried-“

⁃ “you know i fuck with satan”

⁃ “i’m sorry jesus lucifer is just such a good man-“ “oh you- hold me BACK FROM THIS FUCKER HOLD ME BACK ILL SEND HIM TO HELL YOU LIKE HELL-“

⁃ “are you jesus or just a man who grew a beard and put on a suit?”

⁃ “even the guy with his cock out is telling you to stop-“ “oh jesus, and i mean jesus-“ “shUT THE FUCK UP MAN”

⁃ “the best best way to slander him is to stop his offspring; we need to kick him the balls.....no? not a good....? alright us four each take a ball-“

⁃ “......why did jesus give him four scrotums man🙁🙁”

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nctzenluvies · 3 years

Text

HIS PARTY

𝖏𝖊𝖔𝖓𝖌 𝖏𝖆𝖊𝖍𝖞𝖚𝖓 𝖝 𝖋. 𝖗𝖊𝖆𝖉𝖊𝖗

𝖜𝖔𝖗𝖉𝖘 : 1.7k

𝖒𝖆𝖐𝖎𝖓𝖌 𝖔𝖚𝖙 , 𝖈𝖚𝖗𝖘𝖎𝖓𝖌 , 𝖉𝖗𝖎𝖓𝖐𝖎𝖓𝖌 , 𝖜𝖊𝖊𝖉 , 𝖘𝖒𝖚𝖙 , 𝖉𝖊𝖌𝖗𝖆𝖉𝖎𝖓𝖌 , 𝖗𝖆𝖜 𝖘𝖊𝖝

~~~~~~~~~~

you were walking outside of the school and of course, it was a friday, meaning everyone was getting their invites to the popular kids "frat party". all you knew about the parties, is that they consisted of drinking, weed, and apparently drugs too. you genuinely didnt expect for anyone invite you.

"hey, y/n!" someone said behind you.

"hi?"

"remember? its me, cay!"

"oh yeah! hi! whats up?"

"well, i got permission to invite some people to this weekends party, and we had a few extra slots so, i thought to invite you!"

"oh? sure, i can go.. but when is it?"

"tomorrow night, i can text you the address, your number is still the same right?"

"yeah, it is. thanks so much!"

"of course, do you need a ride?"

"no thanks, ill have my friend drop me off."

cay walked away and went to the back of the school as you got into the bus and sat next to one of your friends, that happened to also be invited to tomorrows party.

after about 10 minutes, the bus had finally made it to you and your friends neighborhood. you got off the bus, said your goodbyes to your friend and walked home. once you got home, you went up to your room and unpacked your things.

"dude, i cant believe we both got invited to that tomorrow." your friend said on the phone.

"i know! should we make outfits?"

"uh.. yess?!"

the two of you made outfits and got opinions from one another. your friend had to hang up because their mom called them, so you just decided to make a list of stuff you needed to bring.

"gum... chapstick, tissues? do i need that?"

you threw what you could pack now into your bag, and got pajamas to go take a shower.

you took a quick shower, and went down to your kitchen to make food. you made something simple with what you had in your fridge. after eating, you watched netflix for an hour or two, then went to your room to sleep.

~~~~~

𝒷𝑒𝑒𝓅.. 𝒷𝑒𝑒𝓅.. 𝒷𝑒𝑒𝓅..

your alarm went off, it was 10 in the morning. you got up, and got ready in a comfy outfit for the day. you had planned to spend a few hours with your cousins at the mall, then go home and get ready for the party.

your cousin picked you up, you guys went do the mall, got coffees, ate food, and shopped around for 3 hours.

your friend was at a store nearby, so she went to come pick you up.

"hey! did you have fun?" she asked.

"yeah, i got a bunch of stuff haha."

"thats good! you could use something for tonight!"

"true, is that what youre wearing tonight?"

"no, i just went to the shop to get groceries, so of course not."

"thats what i thought."

you two blasted music on the way back to her house. you got there, helped he put the groceries away, and walked back to your house. you just chilled for about an hour before getting ready.

you hopped out of the shower, and called your friend.

"hey, y/n. whats up?" cay answered.

"nothing, i just wanted to ask if there was a specific timing we needed to be there?"

"nope, you just have to be there by nine."

"oh alright. see ya!"

you dried you hair, and got a cute dress your cousin had bought you at the mall. you were packing a bag and your best friend called you.

"hey y/bsf/n, why you callin me?"

"nothing, i just wanted to let you know im leaving soon. so get your bag ready."

"will do."

you finished packing, got a water bottle, went to the bathroom, and walked out to see y/bsf/n waiting in her car out-front of your house.

"hey bitch! get in, lets go!"

the two of you headed out, screaming about each others outfits.

you pulled into a huge driveway leading up to a mansion. of course, the popular kids cars were pulling in as you parked.

"oh hey y/n!" cay said behind you.

"hey!"

"well, welcome i guess? let me show you around."

he showed you around his friends house, as someone caught your eye.

you pointed towards some really cute guy in the corner, "hey cay, who is that?"

"oh him? thats jaehyun, hes one of my best friends."

"ok, thanks."

"no problem.

you and your friend walked away to get a drink from the bar they had.

"girllll you have good eyes." your friend teased.

"what do you mean?"

"that jaehyun dude was cute."

"i know right."

"you should go talk to him! your hot, hes hot, perfect relationship!"

"fine, i will. be right back."

"ok, ill be over here!"

you walked over to the boy you had been looking at for a bit and said hi.

"hey, thought i just let you know i think your hot." you winked, walking away.

he twirled you back around, "well, i would say those feelings are mutual then."

"oh? show me then."

"with pleasure."

he pulled you upstairs to a room somewhere in the back of the house, and locked the door behind him.

it was dark in the room, so you couldnt exactly see him, but when he turned the lights up, he was already completely naked. he had the best abs youd seen in a while. man did you get the worst butterflies. he got on top of you, and tore your clothes.

"your a little slut, arent you."

"maybe."

he snickered, kissing your jawline, going down to your stomach. he threw your legs to the side, kissing the inside of your thighs. he threw your legs on his shoulder, giving you kitten licks, teasing you. jaehyun let go of your legs to say something.

"i never got your name, sweetheart."

"y/n."

"y/n?"

"yup."

"cute."

he continued his teasing, but gave you zero warning that he was going to actually eat you out.

"jaehyun!"

"mhm?" he said, sending a wave of vibrations through your body, causing you to almost moan.

after a bit, he let go of your pussy, "moan loader baby." so of course, you did. the more noise you made, the more he smirked probably thinking you couldnt feel it. at some point he started using his tongue way more aggressively, so you grabbed his head pushing him deeper in your folds.

he suddenly let go, looking straight in your eyes.

"you cant cum yet. your turn."

he got to the side of the bed, pulled you closer to him, and shoved his dick straight in your mouth. beside gagging at first, you did your job perfectly by how he was reacting.

he pushed you down away from him, and got back on top of you.

"youre going to listen to daddy, right?"

you nodded.

"you will stay completely silent until i say so."

he lined his cock up with your core and slammed straight in you, filling you up. he immediately went in and out of you, leading to you making a bunch of noise. he put a hand around your neck to shut you up.

"you stay quiet, remember?"

you nodded, trying your best to stay quiet. there was a bunch of people coming up the stairs, probably looking for jaehyun.

"jaehyun?" one of his friends yelled from the end of the hallway.

what sounded like two people came up to the door, stopped and listened. you held your breath, but jaehyun on the other hand just continued.

"oh shit, hes blowing someones back out."

"yeah, already? the party just started. i wonder who it is." your friend cay said.

"dude. lets go ask around and see who were missing."

"yeah."

𝑜𝒽 𝓈𝒽𝒾𝓉 , you thought to yourself. jay was going to figure out that your were being gut-fucked by his best friend, let alone, one of the most popular people in the building.

luckily as soon as your best friend heard people we're asking around, she texted you saying she'd be at the back of the house so she wouldn't get found out.

"oh shit!" you screamed.

the two of you reached your highs about the same time. all you felt was this warm liquid filling you up like crazy. he pulled out, picked you up and brought you to the bathroom. luckily he had brought you to bedroom that had a bathroom.

he cleaned you up first, cleaned himself up, and got you both dressed. jaehyun dragged you out of the bedroom, telling you to go to the back of the house after seeing your phone text message.

you ran down stairs, out the front door and saw your friend right on the side of the house.

"hey!" she yelled

"hi."

"so, how was it?"

"good, hes so hot oh my god."

"well, look who it is."

"hello, im jaehyun, y/n's new boyfriend."

you looked at him, confused.

"wait, wait, we never agreed to that." you sighed.

"we did now."

"ok, ill leave you guys alone, good bye." your friend ran back into the house.

"jaehyun, really?"

"what."

"ive known you for like fifteen minutes."

"a good fifteen minutes." he winked.

"jaehyun!"

you turned around to see cay yelling for jaehyun.

"hi?"

"im going to go over there." you whispered, pointing to the fence of the property.

"well, who was it?"

"who was what?"

"ya know, the chick you had in the room." cay said.

"oh, that? her." he pointed to you, causing you to look up.

"fucking seriously? ive been friends with her for a while and she never has hooked up with someone like you man."

"well i guess you can say hook up if you want."

"huh?"

jaehyun signaled you to come back over.

he wrapped his hand around your waist, "this is my girlfriend."

"uh, what? im so confused. havent you known each other for like 30 minutes?"

"yeah, but shes hot."

"alright, ive never seen that happen."

cay walked away, leaving the two of you to walk in together. you and jaehyun just drank all night, and went back to your house, eating and watching movies.

𝔞/𝔫: 𝔦 𝔨𝔫𝔬𝔴 𝔱𝔥𝔦𝔰 𝔰𝔲𝔠𝔨𝔰 𝔞𝔰𝔰 𝔦𝔪 𝔟𝔬𝔯𝔢𝔡 𝔰𝔬 𝔦 𝔴𝔯𝔬𝔱𝔢 𝔱𝔥𝔦𝔰 :)

#nct #nct127 #nctdream #wayv #jeongjaehyun #jaehyun #jaehyunnct #y/n #smut #nctsmut #jaehyun smut

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kjhmyg · 4 years

Text

rough edges pt. 6 (m)

pairing: jungkook | (f) reader genre: college!au, badboy!jk, fluffy too :( warnings: mentions of drugs, unprotected sex, cursing, violence, alcohol, drinking, death, manhandling, college parties, boys lol word count: 10.7K

1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / part 6 / 6.5

author’s note: hello i love u. first of all welcome to ♡ libra season ♡ sorry this took so long; it feels kinda short so maybe i’ll post a short 1k chapter next week (part 6.5). i wrote the last half of the last part like an hour ago i hope i didnt make any big grammatical errors or typos lol. also dedicating this to my friend haru who i miss loads.

RE asks tag

What was a red mark on Jungkook’s cheek, has now turned purple-ish. He promises it doesn’t hurt anymore but you notice him mindlessly touching it at times. So you kiss it very gently each time you say goodbye and he doesn’t stop you.

With one arm around over the back of your chair, he’s feeding himself fries with the other. You lean against his shoulder, watching as he nibbles away. “Can’t keep your eyes off me huh?” He mutters.

“You know I can’t.” You admit, giggling into quick, continuous pecks. He lingers on a little longer on the last one like he always does.

“Will you guys save it for the bedroom?” Jimin asks, face twisted in disgust. He doesn’t really care, but it’s fun to tease Jungkook. “Gross.”

“Gross is you dipping fries in your coke.” Hana shakes her head at the soaked fry between his thumb and index finger.

"Don't be mad you don't have refined taste in food like me." He shoots back. “A soaked fry has equal parts sweet and salty.”

“You’re just gross.”

Hana’s realised it doesn’t take much to get under his skin and is enjoying every bit of it. The irony is that it always starts with Jimin trying to get under Jungkook’s skin. Next to Jimin, Taehyung’s phone has his undivided attention. In fact, he’s been rather quiet today, spending the last five minutes or so frowning at his screen.

“Tae, you alright?”

“No.” He sighs, finally looking up. “I have to get a job.”

“...And?”

“Well I don’t want to.” He says simply. “Can’t believe my parents are cutting off my allowance because I spend too much.” He uses air quotes.

Except for Jimin, the rest of you only manage blank stares, unable to sympathise with his first world problem. "Yeah, I’m sure those thousand dollar Balenciaga sneakers you got last week have nothing to do with it.” Jungkook says.

“Jungkook. They were limited edition.”

“A thousand dollars?” You say. “What the hell dude.”

“Okay can we stop talking about the past and focus on the present?” Leaning back against his chair and looking into the distance, Jimin places a comforting hand on his shoulder

“Don’t worry, we’ll find you a nice job.” Jimin says and he lets out a tiny whine, throwing his head back.

That’s when it hits you. You have no idea how, but it does. And you have no idea if it’ll work but you’re doing it anyway.

A clueless Hana raises a brow in question at the sudden look of mischief you give her. She braces herself for whatever you’re about to do, equally curious and worried. “Actually, you should apply at our café.” You say to Taehyung.

“They’re hiring?”

“Well not yet.” Turning back to her, you widen your eyes slightly, prompting Hana to play along. She quickly does, noticing Jungkook watching her over your shoulder. “I’m leaving soon so they’ll definitely need a replacement.”

“You’re quitting?” Jungkook asks, sitting up straight. “What happened?”

“Nothing.” The little head shake you give isn’t enough to convince him. “I just wanna work somewhere else. Anyway, you’d like working there Tae. It’s nice.” The other boy perks up, seemingly interested.

Hana agrees, explaining the details of your work and what it’s like there. While they talk, Jungkook squeezes your shoulder to get your attention, “Are you sure nothing happened? Creeps harassing you again?”

“No, really.” You say, hand over his cheek. “I just want a change of environment. The job’s getting boring.”

The worry in his eyes gradually disappears as he seems to accept it. He gives a soft okay for now. Looking away, you let out a silent sigh of relief. On the inside, the rational side of you is yelling her head off. What possessed you to decide to quit your job for no good reason? This plan is banking on the chance that Jungkook will let you join him at the club. Which when you think about it, is very unlikely to happen.

Yet, another part of you is excited. Your mind is in a frenzy. Convincing yourself you’ll figure the details out later, you silently thank Taehyung and his Balenciagas for handing you this opportunity.

"Oh hey, we better get going." Jimin says, looking at the time on his phone. "We'll see you guys tonight?"

The girls of Eta Iota are hosting a party tonight. Naturally, the boys get invited and by association, you too. Sunhee’s cashing in on your promise of taking her to one, so you have to go even if it’s just to hang around for a while then leave. You part ways with Jimin and Tae as Jungkook gives Hana and you a ride back. He walks with you to the lobby of your place, where you tell Hana to head up first.

Right by the stairwell, he leans against the wall and holds you in his arms, between his legs. “Are you sure you wanna quit your job?”

"Yessss, I’m sure. I wanna work somewhere else." Resting your chin on his chest, you look up at him. "It's cute that you're worried about me."

“Of course I am.” He kisses the top of your head. “I’ll help you keep a lookout for places that are hiring.”

You smile gleefully up at him. Oh, he’s going to help you get a new job alright. Just not in the way he’s thinking. Already, you feel bad for lying to him. But you keep telling yourself you’re doing this for him.

He doesn’t let you go so easily when you try and remove yourself, not giving up his hold on you. When you pry his hands off, he tugs you right back in, locking you in his arms as kisses land all over your face. “Stop,” you laugh, “someone might see us.” But you don’t look around to check for anyone. He doesn’t care either.

He lifts you up easily, wrapping your legs around him. Switching positions, you now feel the cool wall against your back. “Should we skip the party tonight?” He asks, a hopeful look in his eyes.

“You have to go. It’s part of your fraternity sorority socialising thingy thing.” He rolls his eyes at that. “Plus, I promised Sunhee I’d go with her.”

"Fine. But I’m only going ‘cause you’re going."

“So I’ll see you there, okay?” He nods in response as his hold on you loosens. A peck on the cheek and you’re going up the stairs, one step at a time, hand still holding on to his. As it slips away, he squeezes his chest with his other hand and groans in mock pain.

“Silly,” you mutter between giggles. He breaks character and skips up the steps to get another kiss from you. At this rate he would never leave.

“Jungkook seriously,” you say against his lips, leaning back to separate yourself from him, “you should go now. I’ll see you later anyway.”

He complies and lets you go, but not without releasing a very dramatic sigh. You hurry up the steps before he changes his mind, looking down over the railing as you go, waving your goodbye.

𝄖𝄖

Purple, purple everywhere. The Etas had decided to do their rush party while celebrating their anniversary. Which explains why the decorations are of their ‘official’ colour. Purple balloons, cups, banners, napkins.

“This is so fun!” Sunhee squeals, coming up to hug you from behind. “I’ve made a bunch of new friends!” She squeals again and hurries off elsewhere, leaving you and Hana once again.

“I’m glad she’s enjoying herself.” Hana comments, taking a sip of her drink.

“Aren’t you?” You nudge her side. “You’ve had like four guys come up and give you their number. Don’t act like you’re not having fun.”

“I guess I’m havin’ a lil’ fun…” she mumbles towards the end, sipping on her drink with a tiny smile. She’s holding up much better than you thought she would. Much better than you at least, she doesn’t seem too bothered by the constant yelling.

There’s no reason to worry about Sunhee. She’d clung on to you earlier when you arrived together as promised, like you’re her ticket in. As soon as you passed through the doors, a couple of girls from the host house came up to greet you. While it was a little awkward for you, Sunhee saw her chance and took it. She’s been hanging out with them since.

“Where’s Jungkook?” Hana asks. She’s still unsure about your plan. You had gotten an earful from her earlier on, back at the apartment. Only after you promised, pinky promised and swore you’d be safe, did she finally calm down.

“Somewhere.” It’s crowded enough to not be able to see the other end of the room. You crane your neck to see better. “Don’t know if I can find him with all these people around.”

“Go.” Her pretty, long eyelashes flutter over her eyes as she looks at you. “Don’t worry about me.”

You’re hesitant to leave, but she reiterates that she’d be fine and you finally nod, much to her relief. She has Jimin and Taehyung with her anyway, she says, nodding over to the pair a few feet away.

Before disappearing into the crowd, you turn back to let her know you might not see her for the rest of the night. But she’s read your mind, waving her hands at you. “You’ll be with Jungkook, I know.”

“Text me when you get home. I love you.” You blow her a kiss and watch her roll her eyes, then push through bodies of people to get to a different part of the house. There’s way too many people here. Most of them tower at least a head over you, disrupting your view. Your phone vibrates just as you enter the biggest room of the house which gives you a little more maneuvering space than the previous one.

Jungkook: u look great

Slowly, you turn in the spot you’re in, paying close attention to each section of the room.

Jungkook: i like pink

Jungkook: ur ass looks great in those jeans btw

You: reveal yourself

He doesn’t respond and you continue to wander around, until you reach a short hallway separating the kitchen area from the previous room. With more room to breathe, you decide to stay put knowing Jungkook won’t keep this up for long anyway. And you’re right.

"Looking for me?" His hot breath tickles your ear.

Spinning around, you're greeted by his wide grin and immediately hate how good he looks in a simple white tee with his house name, Kappa Sigma embedded on the left chest, and tucked into black jeans, "Hey you." He tastes like fruit punch when you kiss him.

Your bodies sway slightly to the music with his hands on your hips and your arms around his neck. He reaches behind, pulling something out of his back pocket and holds it up in front of you. “Lollipop?”

“It’s...purple.” You take it from him, observing its odd colour, wondering if this was even necessary.

“I know.” He chuckles. “They really go all out.”

You shrug, unwrapping the sweet and pop it in your mouth. “So, you wanna get out of here?” He asks.

“But I thought you liked parties,” you blink, “socialising, hooking up.”

“I know you’re making fun of me but it’s kinda hot when you talk like that.” He eyes the way your lips wrap around the lollipop, unconsciously mirroring the movement of your tongue licking the layer of sugar off your lips, suddenly going thirsty.

You shove him in the chest and he laughs, stepping back. “I’ve been here less than an hour.” You say. Although, it’s not like you were planning to stay long anyway. You know that, he knows that.

“You won’t miss a thing, trust me.” He hooks an arm over your shoulder. “Besides, we can get started on the hooking up part.” He winks.

You leave through the back, avoiding the large crowd up front. You quickly send a text to Hana to let her know you’re leaving. Out on the lawn, you walk past a group of guys drunkenly singing to their heart's content and you flash them a thumbs up despite how horrible they sound.

The Eta Iota house is just a few houses down from the boys’ and you walk back hand in hand, swinging your arms as you go. Jungkook watches your smile, and the way you laugh when your arms swing so far back that it throws you off balance and you almost fall. “You look good.” He says, softly.

“I know, you told me.” You say without sparing him a glance. “I look good in pink. And these jeans are good for my ass.”

“No.” His voice is as soft as his smile. Looking at him then, you notice the tender look in his eyes. “I mean you look good when you’re happy. It’s nice. Does that make sense? I don’t know.”

Your heart leaps at the way he looks away almost shyly, focusing entirely on the ground as he walks, his other hand in his pocket. You close the gap between you and kiss him on the cheek. “I’m always happy when I’m with you.”

“I’m happy when I’m with you too.”

The rest of the short walk back goes in comfortable silence, you still lightly swinging your arms. But as you reach the front of the house, Jungkook pauses. It surprises you when he decides to take a walk in the park instead. You give him curious glances along the way, wondering what’s gotten into him. It’s a ten minute walk from his place to a park that’s your go-to for impromptu date nights.

You walk past groups of people hanging around, laughing with food on large picnic mats. Finally you opt for an empty space on the grass, not too far away from others there but secluded enough to have some privacy.

“Oh my god, look at the clouds.” They’re big and fluffy, floating through the dark sky. “I wish we could see the stars. That’d be perfect.”

Jungkook follows your gaze. “There are places where you can do that you know.”

“Yeah, I’d love to go one day.” You say with a heavy sigh.

“We could go together.” Jungkook says, making you look at him. “Like a vacation.”

“Aw. I’d love that.”

He smiles sweetly, then turns in place to face you. “I went to look for places which were hiring earlier.”

“You did? Why?”

“Aren’t you...quitting your job?” He looks at you confused. “Unless you’ve changed your mind.”

“Yeah but, there’s no rush.”

“Just wanna make sure you have something to fall back on.” He says, checking his phone. “So, the bakery right next to the cafe is hiring.”

“Jungkook,” you laugh, “I can’t quit and then take up a job next door!”

“I know but, just in case.” He goes on, looking upwards as he recalls. “The school’s also looking for a part-time librarian⎼”

“Baby no, that’s so boring.” You groan. “I thought I’d look for something more...exciting. Like a routesetter maybe?”

“I didn’t know you rock climb?”

“Oh I don’t.” He looks at you with a blank expression on his face. “What? I can learn to!”

"You're weird." He shakes his head and taps your nose. "Why would you wanna go out of your way for a part time job?"

"Cause...it's fun?"

"Even you don't believe that."

"You're right." The wheels in your head turn at full speed, trying to make this as natural as possible. You have to be careful, Jungkook's way too attentive when it comes to you. "Okay, I'll be honest."

He perks up. Face filled with curiosity, as if ready to say I knew it, that something was up, and that you wouldn't leave your job over nothing.

"I'm quitting because…" You gulp. "I want to spend more time with you."

"What?"

"Don't be mad." You add in quickly. "I just thought that I'd get to have more time to spare for you if I wasn't always working."

Eyes closed, he lets out a sigh and drops his head with a little shake. The small smile and amused look in his eyes makes you smile too. “Are you serious? Are you running a fever?” He places the back of his palm against your forehead and then checks the pulse on your wrist.

“I’m fine.” You snatch your hand back.

“The Y/N I know wouldn’t make impulsive decisions like this.” He quirks a brow, “You know you need that job. How else will you pay rent? Get groceries? You don’t ever let me pay for anything.”

“I’ll find a job with less hours.”

“Less hours, less pay.” He lifts your chin up, pouty lips calling him in. “Don’t be silly baby, you’re not leaving your job.”

“Too late.”

“What d’you mean?”

“I...may have...emailed my resignation...earlier on.”

He groans and you cringe when he shoots you a look of disapproval. You give your best kicked puppy look which doesn’t work. “This doesn’t happen often but I’m really mad at you right now.”

“Don’t be.” You scoot closer and when he turns his head away, you move onto his lap, forcing him in an embrace. “I’ll find something.”

“Like what?”

“I don’t know yet.”

“Go back to work tomorrow and speak to your manager. Tell him you’ve changed your mind.” He asks seriously. “I’ll go and have coffee during every one of your shifts so we’re technically spending time together.”

“Don’t be silly.”

“I’m the silly one?”

“Okay fine, I’m sorry.” You sigh. “I didn’t think things through…”

“You’re damn right you didn’t.” He rests his head in his palm. “So, what are you gonna do now?”

“Spend more time with you?” You inch even closer, if it’s even possible with how you’re already sticking to him like glue. He doesn’t reply right away but squeezes you in his hold, resting his cheek on your head. “Are you still angry?”

“Yes.”

You lift your head off him for a kiss. When he sighs this time, he feels the anger dissipating. At the same time he curses the way his body betrays him when it comes to you. You can barely tell he’s upset with the way he responds so eagerly. The pleased look you give him after has him rolling his eyes. “You can’t be mad at me. I’m cute.”

“True.” He leans back, hands on the grass behind him. “But, we are going to look for job postings online tonight.”

“But mom!” You whine, folding your arms in front of you.

“No buts.”

“Not even my butt?” Blinking innocently at him, you add in a little head tilt until he breaks and starts grinning. “Thought you liked my butt.”

He falls onto the grass, laughing in disbelief and you steady yourself on his chest. “What has gotten into you?” He says, watching as you hover over him. “You’re acting so weird.”

“No I’m not. I’m just happy, like you said.” You kiss him on the nose. “You’re the weird one. Nagging at me about getting a job. Being a responsible adult and stuff.”

He flips over, switching your positions so that he’s hovering over you now. Almost immediately, you’re distracted by how dreamy he looks with the view of the night sky behind him. You run your thumb over one side of his cheek. “You did this to me. Plus I’m just looking out for you.”

“I know. Thank you.”

“Don’t worry. I can pull some strings and get you a job somewhere fun.”

He rolls over to your side and lets you rest your head under his arm, both of you watching the sky. You shift even closer, slinging one leg over his and draw circles on his chest. “Hey I mean, worse comes to worst, I could always come and work for you.”

Surprisingly, he laughs. Really hard. You lift yourself up and rest on your elbow to watch him. “Nice one.” He sighs. Then he notices the way you’re looking at him, face void of expression and brows up in question. “What? You were serious?”

“Slightly offended that you thought it was that funny but yes, I was.”

He raises a brow at you. “You? Want to work at a club? Doing what?”

“Bartender? Cleaner?”

“Don’t even joke about that, our cleaners are our most valuable staff. They clean, sanitise, then double sanitise, wipe up vomit, make sure the booths aren’t lined with nasty fluids.”

Your face twists in horror and he nods, proving his point. “Okay...fine so I’m not qualified enough for that. But bartending? I can do that.”

“No.”

“Why?”

He gets up and you follow. He ruffles the back of his head and dusts of the grains on his hands. “Baby, you’re not working there. I won’t allow it.”

“But𝄖”

“Y/N, I said no.” There was no room to argue, not even cheekily. He didn't raise his voice, but the tone he took was enough. Easing the firm stare he gave you as he said it, he turns his attention to his phone as it beeps.

𝄖𝄖

"Lucky for you, I told the manager you just needed a break to focus on school," Hana yawns, pulling up the blanket to her face, "you can come back anytime."

"You want me to give up?"

"Only because your plan is dangerous."

"Hana, I'm not giving up."

She sighs, turning over to the other side. “Let’s talk tomorrow. I’m tired.”

You push yourself off her bed and sit on the edge, thinking. Quietly, you pull open the drawer by her bed, fumbling around until you feel what you’re looking for. The little paper you tore out of Jungkook’s notebook. When he started sleeping over, you had asked Hana to keep it safe for you. You stare at the address. You hadn’t gotten round to visiting the place, especially since you don’t even know what you’re looking for.

“Turn off the light when you leave, will you?” Hana mumbles half-asleep.

You leave the piece of paper and close the drawer.

𝄖𝄖

Two days later, you’re back at his place. The guys are all over, making sure the house is ready for a party tonight. Each of them were assigned different tasks to settle to save time. When you arrived, Hoseok made sure to separate Jungkook from you, for the sake of efficiency, so you’re stuck in the kitchen with Jimin. Helping him with the cleaning, you listen mindlessly as he rambles on about something. He yells at every guy that enters and tries to steal some snacks but sneaks some into his mouth when no one’s looking.

Just as you’re done wiping down the chip bowls, Jungkook walks in with dark stains all over his shirt and face. He chugs down half a bottle of orange juice from the fridge before opening a bag of gummies placed on the table for the party which has Jimin groaning.

“What happened to you?”

“Car oil needed changing. Cleaned up under the hood too.”

“What?” Jimin shrieks. “You were working on your car this entire time?”

“Yeah?”

“While the rest of us were preparing for the party? Unbelievable!” He huffs, “You were supposed to fix the first floor bathroom⎼”

Jungkook signals for him to stop, holding up a palm. “Fine, I’ll go do it now.” He reaches out for your hand and continues to nod at everything Jimin says as he tags you along, the nagging fading away as you run upstairs.

“You should really go and help out.” You say, plopping down on his bed with a bounce.

Jungkook hums, “I will. Later.”

Sniffing the shirt he has on, he lets out a disapproving grunt. He removes it in one swoop and tosses it into a basket. You watch quietly as he steps closer, eyes fixed on yours. He leans forward and your hands grip the sheets as you lean back, looking at him expectantly. Then his arm moves past your head and reaches for another shirt on the bed, behind you. He snickers and you slap his shoulder.

“I’m leaving.”

“Aw, come on, don’t go.” He jumps into bed and grabs you. He leans on his side, propped up on his elbow, hand on your middle.

“I have to get some groceries.” You play with his hair. “Then I’m gonna freshen up and come back here in time for the party.”

“Great, I’ll drive you.”

“No, you stay. Fix the bathroom.”

“But I don’t want to.” He groans, and rolls over onto you. Almost naturally, your legs wrap around him and he starts kissing your neck, moving down to your chest, pulling down your shirt. You stop him, giggling. “Why do you always wanna leave when we kiss?” He frowns.

“Why do you always kiss me when I’m leaving?”

“‘Cause I don’t want you to leave."

The smell of your skin makes him smile. It smells like...home.

You feel his weight slowly get heavier on you as his body relaxes and melts into yours, nestling his face into your neck. He almost drifts to sleep with the way you’re rubbing his back. When you ruffle his hair, he lifts his head and claims a kiss. “I love you.”

“Love you too. Kookie.”

You giggle as he drops his face in the space between your neck and shoulder. Groaning, he recalls the night Suga found out about the nickname. He has since, constantly used it on Jungkook whenever he can. “He’s never letting that go. Thanks a lot.”

“I’m sorry.” You laugh, chest moving under him. “I was drunk. I didn’t know what I was saying.”

Supporting his weight on one arm, he hovers above you while his free hand brushes past the side of your face. “You don’t remember anything you said that night?”

“No.” That can’t be good. You scan his face. “Why? Did I say something weird?”

“No. Just wondering.” He says gently, expression slowly changing into a smile that makes you forget you were even worried a second ago. “Don’t get drunk anymore. Suga likes you way too much when you’re drunk.”

“Does he?” You laugh, cupping his face. If Suga likes you, you can use this to your advantage. You can’t wait to tell Hana your plan worked.

When Jungkook hears the sound of his name being called from somewhere around the house, he groans and sinks into you again. You push him off you with much difficulty, laughing as he keeps plopping back down into you.

“Okay, they need you. I’m leaving so you can focus. I’ll come back later.” You say, when you finally manage to escape. Reluctantly, he follows behind as you walk down the stairs.

Just as you reach the bottom of the steps, you’re being pulled to the side, against the wall where he corners you into, hands on either side. “I’ll be waiting, so you better show up.” Down your back, up your front, his hands run over your body till they rest just under your jaw, making you lift your chin towards him. Breath hitching in your throat, he carefully brings his lips to yours, teasing a soft touch. Then he lets go.

He smiles like nothing happened and you catch your breath before racing to the front door. You hear a soft chuckle and turn to see him winking at you as he goes in the other direction. Hearing voices from the kitchen where the meeting has started, you quickly close the door behind you, ignoring the pulsing between your thighs.

𝄖𝄖

With a basketful of groceries, you stroll through the store, looking for anything you might have missed out. As you walk, you notice from afar, standing right in front of the refrigerated section your new friend Namjoon. You head straight for him, a little bounce in your step. When you stop right next to him, he turns slowly and carefully.

“Oh. It’s you.” He says as he realises.

“Getting some groceries?” You ask, looking at the shelf then back at him.

“Oh just,” he lifts up a bottle of juice, “getting my orange juice. I see you’re getting your monthly supply. You alone?”

“Yeah I am.” You nod, “My roommate’s busy with school stuff.”

“Right.” He smiles, then it seems like a thought comes to him. “Hey, you’re going for the party tonight right?”

“What? How’d you know about that?” You look at him confused.

“I have friends too you know.”

“But, you can’t come. You’re technically faculty.” You say, putting down your basket to fold your arms in front of you and stare him down. “Are you trying to get us in trouble?”

He chuckles, then points and holds up a finger in front of you. “Actually, I’m an external instructor. So technically, I’m not faculty.”

“How convenient.” You eye him down.

“Fine, fine.” He sighs. “It’s been a while since I’ve been to a party, okay? I just wanna mingle.”

“Hm.” You chew on your bottom lip. Seems genuine enough. You can’t help but wonder if he’s there for something else. How will that go down with Jungkook? “An instructor looking to mingle with his students...definitely no red flags there.”

He rolls his eyes at you. “Come on, I’m not that much older than you. And I’m not that kinda person.”

“That’s what they all say.” You shrug. “Well, I’ll be keeping an eye on you.”

“Cool.” He winks. “I’ll see you tonight.”

He walks off way too quickly, like he’s avoiding something and heads straight for the checkout counter. Of course you know why he’d go to a college party; the perfect place to sell his drugs. You can’t figure out if you should let Jungkook know about Namjoon. But then again, he almost always knows what’s going on. And he’d be uneasy knowing you know so much.

You pick up your basket off the floor and head for checkout yourself. Barely making ten steps, you notice someone leaning against the side of a shelf, watching you with his arms crossed, mischievous smile on his face. Your other new friend. How coincidental.

“Suga.” You say, a tone way too excited for his liking but he nods anyway. You walk over to him and stand awkwardly before him, holding your basket with both hands in front of you. “Hi.”

“Hey cutie.” He searches for someone behind you. “Where’s Jungkook?”

“Oh he’s back at home.” You smile. “They’re getting ready for rush week. And the party tonight.”

“Am I invited?”

“Oh, um…” You can tell he’s joking, but you can’t be too sure. How interesting would it be to have Jungkook, Namjoon and Suga in one place. You wonder what would happen if they met.

You chuckle nervously without giving an answer and he shrugs it off. “I was kidding.”

“I guess you can come if you want to.” You say with a tiny shrug. “I’m sure Jungkook won’t mind.”

He changes the subject almost immediately, offering to help you carry your basket, which you politely decline. He walks with you to the counter. “So who was that guy you were talking to?”

Oh, he’s an instructor from school and also the new drug dealer in town. “Oh him? He’s the new self-defense instructor on campus.”

“Really?” He looks amused, and bites his bottom lip in a half-smile. “Cool. And you guys are friends?”

“Yeah. Kinda.” You place your basket on the counter and help the cashier to unload the items to scan. You don’t notice the way Suga laughs silently to himself, shaking his head.

“You know what, I gotta go.” Suga says, walking backwards towards the exit. You don’t even manage to reply to him before he takes off. “Let’s drink again sometime soon!”

𝄖𝄖

Hana is less than pleased to know about your run-ins. She looks at you with daggers in her eyes. “You have to stop this. He obviously knows your plan."

"Stop overreacting. How could he possibly know that?"

She shrugs. The loud music drowns out your voices from being overheard by those around you. "It's hard to believe it was a coincidence running into him.” She says and you sigh, choosing to ignore her.

The last you saw Jungkook, he was laughing away with a group of people. You didn’t want to bother him, he’d be busy anyway trying to get freshies on his side. But it’s been a while and now you don’t see him anywhere.

While Hana mingles, you go off to look for him. In the kitchen, you find Jimin doing shots of something that doesn’t look edible with a bunch of guys cheering him on. But no Jungkook. You peek out on the deck out back but he’s not there either. A hand on the sliding doors, you sigh and step out into the courtyard, breathing in air that doesn’t smell like sweat.

You pause when you step down the stairs and spot something, squinting at the sight of two guys in the far end of the backyard, right by the bush-lined fence. Recognising that jacket, you realise one of them is Jungkook. He then pulls something out of his pocket and shakes hands with the other guy. You turn back before he spots you. Probably just a polite handshake. Maybe with an old friend. Yup.

Step back inside, you’re being stopped by a hand on your arm. “You look flustered.” He says.

“Hi Hoseok.” You force a smile. “It’s warm in here.”

His eyes flicker over to the backyard and back at you. “This is what he does at parties. It’s how he distributes them.”

“So?” You look around uncomfortably.

“I know you don’t like it either.” He stops you before you can reply. “Can you meet me outside in ten minutes? It’s important.”

“You’re already here, what is it? No one’s paying any attention to us anyway.”

“I can’t.”

The sceptical look you give him has him feeling restless. “Trust me, it’s very important.”

From the tone of his voice, he sounds sincere. You don’t want to, but do you want to risk not knowing something that could help you help Jungkook? You hate this. After a long pause, you nod reluctantly. “Fine.”

Neither of you realised the two figures approaching until they’re walking up the steps. Hoseok and you share a look, as if pleading to the other to act normal. As they reach the door, you see now that Jae is the other guy. He greets you as he walks past, then blends into the crowd. Behind him, Jungkook spares you a curious look at the little exchange. He then notices Hoseok’s presence.

“What’s going on?” He looks back and forth at the two of you. “You look upset.”

“Hm? Oh no, I’m fine.” You muster up your best smile. “We were just talking about the guy who puked in the sink earlier.”

“Speaking of which, I should go make sure he’s not puking elsewhere.” Hoseok says, taking his leave.

You can’t tell if Jungkook bought that but he doesn’t question it. His demeanour changes as soon as Hoseok leaves, directing his attention on you. “He wasn’t bothering you, was he?”

“No.” You smile. “I ran into him while looking for some food.”

“Oh⎼”

He doesn’t get a chance to continue when someone he knows slaps him on the back. They chat for a while as he keeps you close next to him, even when you try to pry his fingers off. The other guy drags him somewhere but before he goes, he turns to you. “Grab some food and meet me upstairs, I’ll just be a second.” He winks, stealing a kiss.

“You don’t have to. I’ll just come find you later on it’s fine𝄖”

“You’re not getting rid of me babe.” He jokes and you let out an awkward laugh as he goes.

You haven’t mastered being in two places at once, you’re not a ninja. And in a few minutes, Hoseok will be waiting for you outside. And Jungkook upstairs. You groan, searching the cabinets for some snacks before heading up to Jungkook’s room.

That’s when you notice a familiar blond head among the crowd you. It distracts you. You could’ve sworn that was Suga. But too many people are blocking your line of sight. As you reach the spot you had possibly seen him, he’s gone. You don’t have time to think about this. Swiftly, you run up the steps and head right for Jungkook’s door. And of course, a familiar face exits the washroom on the same floor.

“Namjoon.”

“Why do you look so surprised to see me?” He raises a brow with a playful smile on his face. “I told you I was coming.

You shake your head and look behind you. “Nothing I was just⎼”

“Hogging all the snacks?” He gestures towards the food you’re cradling in your arms and you laugh.

“There’s more downstairs.” You reassure him.

As if on cue, footsteps move swiftly up the stairs and you glance behind to find Jungkook halfway up, a cautious look on his face as he approaches you. Namjoon nods politely. For a moment it’s like you can no longer hear the music blasting, enveloped by the awkward silence.

“Uh, Jungkook this is Namjoon.” You notice the way his jaw clenches as he takes Namjoon’s outstretched hand in his. “And this is Jungkook.”

“The boyfriend. Nice to meet you.” He flashes a blinding smile Jungkook’s way.

“Likewise.”

Namjoon reads the room well and you’re thankful for it. He excuses himself, saving you from having to grease the conversation any further. “See you guys around.” He says, leaving.

Jungkook opens the door for you and you drop the snacks on his table. His fingers immediately wrap around you, lifting you up and throwing you onto the bed. “Finally." He mutters pulling you in.

You giggle nervously as he kisses you all over, pulling away from him. He shoots you a confused look. "Wait I...need the toilet."

He throws his head back but moves aside to let you go. "Okay. I'll wait."

Hurrying out, you close the door and run downstairs, rushing past the sea of bodies to the front door. Once outside, you look around scanning the few faces there for him. Hoseok stands around the corner at the side of the house and calls out your name.

The front and back of the house is well lit, but not the sides. Both of you stand in the shadows by the wall, waiting for him to speak. But he doesn't, instead, he looks around anxiously.

"Hoseok, what is it? You said this is important!" You hiss. "I can't be too long, Jungkook's waiting for me."

"Just give him a second, he'll be here."

"Who?"

"He's here." His eyes focus on a man wearing a navy sweatshirt, hoodie pulled up so you can't really see who it is. He only pulls it down when he joins you in the shadows.

"Hi."

"Y/N, this is Seokjin. He works with my friend."

"Oh. Hello." You watch him curiously. If you could describe a smile as being trustworthy, it would be his.

"Thanks for meeting me," he starts, "I’ll make it quick. It's about a case I'm sure the two of you are familiar with. Actually, I'm here to speak to you, Y/N."

"Me?" You ask, worrying.

"As you know we have an agent working undercover. He's seen you around and since you know about this operation, he’s worried you might get too close, given your relationship with one of the suspects involved. We want to make sure you stay out of it as much as possible."

"But I'm not doing anything to jeopardise the operation."

"We know." He nods, "But still, we have to emphasise that these people are dangerous. You do not want to get involved. You shouldn’t know about this operation in the first place, but nothing we can do about that now.”

Hoseok’s eyes downcast and hands hide in his pockets, knowing he wasn’t supposed to reveal anything to you. “He’s okay right?” He asks softly.

“He’s fine. He personally contacted me to speak with you. And he’s sorry he hasn’t answered his phone, it’s too risky.”

“Who’s this guy again? Do I know him?” You ask.

“You already know too much as it is. I can’t reveal the name of our agent. We can’t risk him getting exposed, it could cost him his life.”

Silence ensues. It’s uncomfortable to think about how someone could literally die from an unfortunate slip of the tongue. You wait for someone to diffuse the tension. Hoseok looks like he’s in thought, opening his mouth to speak then stopping. Seokjin beats him to it. “In case it’s not clear enough, your plan ends here Y/N.”

How does he⎼ oh. So that’s why Hoseok looks troubled. You stare him down and mutter through clenched teeth. “You told him.”

“I didn’t mean to!” He spits out. “When Seokjin called me earlier, I got reminded of you. I had to tell him. And I know you wouldn’t listen to me anyway, so I got him to come here.”

“Listen. I just want to help Jungkook, that’s all.” You sigh. “I promise I won’t get in the way.”

“I get it. Hoseok’s explained it to me.” It’s Seokjin’s turn to sigh. “Doesn’t matter what your intentions are, it’s best if you stay away.”

You look helplessly over at Hoseok, then reluctantly agree with a nod. “I’ll try.”

“No, you see, this isn’t a request. It’s an order. There is a chance you’ll get convicted as part of the group if you don’t keep your distance. Is that what you want?”

“No. But𝄖”

“Good, so we’re on the same page.”

“No, we’re not.” Huffing, you step closer to him. “I’m not doing this for fun. I’m trying to get my boyfriend out of there.”

“I understand. But there’s no telling what could happen. Let us handle it. If he’s innocent, then you don’t have anything to worry about. The most important thing here is that you don’t end up getting caught up in the mess. Do you really want to be associated with criminals?”

“Jungkook’s not a criminal.”

Seokjin holds up his hands in a surrender. “That’s not what I meant.”

Hoseok gulps, gently touching your arm. “Y/N please. Let them handle it.”

“I am letting them handle it.” You say stubbornly before turning back to Seokjin. “Look, I’m just here for Jungkook. Tell that to your guy. I won’t stand in the way of the operation.”

“You do know that this is all off the record?” Seokjin starts, “That means even though our undercover, as well as I, am aware that you’re not involved, if by any chance you’re caught with drugs or anything illegal at the time of the raid, you might get convicted. There will be no records to show that you’re innocent.”

“I understand.”

“Alright.” Seokjin pulls his hoodie back up. Now you can only faintly see the bottom half of his face. “Take care. Remember, no one else can know about this.”

He takes off in quick steps, round the corner and down the street. Hoseok fidgets in his spot, trying to find the right words. “I didn’t make him do this to scare you or anything. Promise.”

“I know, Hoseok.” You smile softly. “But you get it right? Why I’m doing this?”

“Yeah...” he trails off for a moment, then continues. “You saw him earlier didn’t you?”

“I did.” You shake your head with a sigh, “Trust me okay? I’m doing everything I can to help Jungkook, like you wanted me to.”

“I never wanted this. I don’t want you to get hurt if things don’t go as planned.”

“Whatever happens after, I’ll deal with it then.”

𝄖𝄖

Feeling numb, the walk back upstairs feels like you’re on autopilot, barely hearing the buzzing of the crowd. You take a deep breath before turning the knob of Jungkook’s door, willing yourself to forget the last ten minutes ever happened. He’d read you like a book in this state.

But your bright smile is wasted on an empty room.

“Jungkook?”

𝄖𝄖

The next day, you're sitting on the running track, soaked in sweat after a long session of track and field. The coach bids his goodbye as the team continues their cooling down stretches. Hana plops down next to you. “So?”

“What?”

“You wanna talk about it?” She asks, picking dirt off of your cheek with her thumb. “You seemed really out of it last night. Barely spoke the whole day today…”

“I’m sorry.” You shake your head. “Just thinking.”

You decided not to tell her about Seokjin and everything that was said last night. For now at least. She already has reservations about your plan as it is, telling her about Seokjin would just freak her out even more.

“Jungkook called you yet?”

“Mhm.” Technically it was a text, wishing you good morning with a kissy face emoji. Not wanting to make a big deal out of the night before, you reply as you normally would. “Don’t worry about me, I’m just tired actually.”

She hangs an arm over your shoulder and gives you a side hug. “No more parties for you.”

“Yeah they’re kinda lame aren’t they?” You laugh.

After grabbing your stuff, you’re headed for the locker room. You're too deep in thought to realise the girls on your team giggling around you. It isn't until Hana nudges you then nods to bleachers that you realise your boyfriend is waiting for you. He salutes the other ladies with a winning smile as they walk off, before getting off his butt.

The girls mutter quietly, and you hear the words lucky and they're so cute as they leave you. Hana waves to Jungkook before walking ahead. Jungkook trots down the steps and lifts you in a hug.

“Sorry, I’m sweaty.”

“That’s okay,” he smiles, swaying you side to side, “not the first time I have you all sweaty in my arms.”

“Shut up.”

He laughs, then starts swinging your hands as you walk back. “Hey sorry about last night."

"Oh it’s fine. Don't worry about it." You say, with a shake of your head, looking at the ground. "You're a busy man, I know."

"Can I make it up to you? Tonight?"

"Alright." You nod. "I gotta shower first though. And you have to give me a ride back to get some fresh clothes."

"No need to dress up."

"But I want to." You pout and he chuckles.

The sound of whistling and yelling coming from the field gets your attention. It's the soccer team, practice still ongoing. It only just occurred to you that you haven't seen Jungkook there in a while.

"Why aren't you practicing with them anymore? Did you quit?"

Jungkook looks at you with an amused look on his face. "Y/N, I was never part of the team."

"Huh?" You stop in your tracks. "I'm pretty sure I've seen you on that field running after the ball."

"Yeah but I was never really on the team." He reiterates. Now you're confused. "I only practiced with them so I could watch you during track and field."

"What?"

"Have you forgotten? I'm on the basketball team."

Honestly, you hadn’t made the connection that it’s impossible for him to be on both the soccer and basketball teams until now. "No wait, you joined them just to watch me?"

"Yes and no?" He shrugs proudly. "At first it was because I got kicked off the basketball team. Then we started dating. I got to see you every practice. Then I got reinstated on the basketball team. And I didn't wanna stop seeing you during practice so I kept going. Until now."

"Jungkook that is𝄖"

"Sweet?"

"Lowkey creepy."

He lets out a tiny gasp with a look of betrayal on his face. "But...I wanted to see you."

You laugh at the utter disappointment he shows and pat his face, though it feels like a light slap, before running off making him chase after you.

𝄖𝄖

Laying on the hood of his car, with his arm under your neck, Jungkook listens to you talk about anything and everything. In your favourite spot, parked by the beach so you get the cool breeze and the gentle sound of waves crashing onto the shore.

He enjoys listening to you talk about your life; what your childhood was like, what kind of trouble you used to get into, your family. It’s like peeling off a new layer every time. Who knew you used to bully the bully as a kid? And let’s not forget that time you got detention for smoking in school but you only did it to get your dad’s attention so that he would stop dating the evil girlfriend who threatened to send you off to boarding school.

“Baby are you...a troublemaker?” He muses and you laugh.

“Well I was. I grew out of it.” You shrug and look up at him. “Kinda.”

“Would’ve never guessed. You’re so shy. And good.”

“Yeah. Once I realised how my behaviour was affecting people’s liking towards me, I changed.”

He smiles tenderly at you, always so full of surprises. You play with the hem of his sweater, then look up at him. “What about you? You haven’t told me anything about your past.”

Not once has he shared his own stories. You never asked because you didn’t want to pressure him. But you’re almost out of stories yourself.

Jungkook looks up at the sky for a while. You sense the hesitance. “There’s nothing much to say.”

“What about...your family? Do you have any siblings?”

There’s no reply, only the sound of the waves crashing and a distant laughter from a group of friends on the beach. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Okay.” Propping yourself up on your elbow, you see now the faint sparkle in his eyes. Could be the cool breeze making his eyes water. He blinks it away when you stare. “We can talk about other things.”

He smiles as his eyes scan your face before you’re snuggling into his side again. “I like hearing your stories.”

“But I’ve told you everything.”

“What about your first kiss?”

You groan. “I’ve told you that one. It was during camp. He pushed me into the lake after that because it was all a dare.”

“Oh right and then you threw all his clothes into the lake as revenge.”

“Yeah.” You laugh. “It was pretty funny.”

He laughs thinking about tiny Y/N lugging a big bag full of clothes and dumping it into a lake as the owner yells in horror. Who knew you had it in you. You’re always so calm and by the book, it’s almost like a whole other person.

“Can you tell me about your tattoo?” You look up at him.

He smirks, turning his head to the side towards the arm it’s on. It’s a tiger head on the upper bicep of his right arm. Made up of shapes, lines, squiggles, it has sharp piercing eyes. It’s beautiful, really. “It’s just something to represent my loyalty towards my brothers.”

You’ve never seen this mark on the other frat boys, so you assume he’s talking about his other group of brothers. “It’s nice. I like it.”

“Mhm.” It’s tough to crack him. He never reveals more than what he thinks you need to know.

After a while, you pluck up the courage to ask him about the job. “Have you thought about what we discussed?” You ask softly, playing with his fingers.

“What did we discuss?”

“About the job,” you remove yourself from him again and this time get on your knees, “about me working at the club?”

He sighs, looking at you like the stubborn teenager in your stories. “I already told you no.”

“You won’t even consider it.” You pout.

He smiles, surprisingly. “After careful consideration, I regret to inform you that you’ve been rejected. You don't have what it takes.”

“Rude!” You huff, “I have all that it takes.”

“No, you don’t.”

“Yes I do! I’m tough.” You spit out. You strike an awkward pose, doing something weird with your arms. “I have swag.”

It makes him laugh so hard he starts tearing and almost choke on his saliva. Embarrassed, you laugh along, hitting him on his chest. Cheeks hurting from all that, he opens his arms. “Come here you.”

You drop into him, mostly to hide your face in his shoulder. He holds you tight, a content sigh escapes him as he does. “I love you so much.” He says into your ear.

Lifting your head up to face him, he smiles tenderly at you, softly tracing a finger over your face, the lulling movement making your eyes flutter shut.

𝄖𝄖

“You got a problem with me?” Namjoon says to the smaller guy.

Suga smirks bitterly, unimpressed by how the new guy has no respect whatsoever towards him. “I do actually. What’s your deal?”

“What d’you mean?”

“You appear out nowhere, get dispatched to our district. Same area as Jungkook no less...are you trying to replace us?”

“Hey, I didn’t choose the location.” Namjoon shrugs. “Maybe if you guys didn’t suck so bad they wouldn’t have asked me to secure the bags.”

He braces himself as Suga lunges forward, shoving him against the wall, his collar bunched up in clenched fists. Surprisingly strong for a small dude. “You don’t come work for us and talk shit about us to my face.”

Namjoon tugs on his clothes, pulling them out of Suga’s grip. He clears his throat and tries to calm himself. “My bad. Next time I’ll do it behind your back.”

“What are you up to? You took a job on campus, why? Jungkook’s already got that covered.”

“Like I said, I didn’t choose to. I was sent there.” He steps forward, making Suga take a few steps back.

“Liar.”

“Look if you have a problem with it, take it up with the lieutenant.” Namjoon walks off, angering the other guy even more. The nerve of this new kid makes his blood boil. There’s something off about him, there’s no way the bosses would send a new guy in for no reason.

He stomps his way into Kyun’s office, slamming the door behind him. Kyun looks up, sees him, and goes back to his laptop. “What?”

“Don’t you think there’s something wrong with that RM guy?” Suga says, pulling up a chair.

“No. Why?”

“He’s so full of himself.”

“Name one person working here that isn’t,” Kyun says, “besides, you should be thankful I assigned him to you. Jungkook’s been slacking.”

“I told you, the school’s keeping an eye on him. He’s taking it slow.”

Suga can’t remember how many times he’s used that excuse. He can’t come right out and admit that Jungkook has in fact been slacking. Or rather, distracted. Not to mention the time Jungkook considered leaving all of this behind. It’s no surprise the lieutenant’s picked up on it.

“Whatever.” Kyun mutters, obviously tired of having this conversation.

“Wait,” the wheels in Suga’s head turn and he looks curiously at his lieutenant, “you’re not doubting Jungkook are you? Did you send RM in to replace him?”

“If Jungkook’s doing a good job like you seem to think he is, why would you be worried about this?”

Suga purses his lips, “He’s fine. He hasn’t missed any of his shifts. I couldn’t have gotten shit done at the club without him.”

“Numbers are still low though.”

“That’s because you’ve got the new kid stealing all his buyers.”

“RM’s good and the staff there seem to trust him. He stays.”

“Fine. Then get off Jungkook’s back about his numbers. He can’t sell drugs the same as before if you have another dealer there competing with him.”

Kyun thinks about it for a minute, then nods. “Alright fine. Anyway, it’s good that you’re here now. I can run through what boss wants you to get up and running at the club.”

It hits Suga that Kyun having doubts about Jungkook is bad news, at least, if word travels up the hierarchy. While Jungkook had promised to keep up, Suga intends to make sure he actually does. He can’t afford anymore slip-ups. Or distractions, in the form of you. He can’t let anything happen to Jungkook.

𝄖𝄖

Sneaking back into the house at such an ungodly hour, you guide Jungkook in the dark, careful not to make a sound.

Back in your room, his jacket and shirt are the first to go. He lifts you up and carries you to the bed, lips not parting from each other.

Slipping under your shirt, he unhooks your bra and pulls your shirt with it over your head. Lips smiling on yours, his hands knead your breasts and you feel your nerves reacting. He trails wet kisses down your front, fingers undoing your jeans and pulling them off in a single swoop.

He removes his own pair of jeans, leaving him in his boxers. Then, kneeling by your legs, he gently peels your panties off, taking in the view of your naked body, lighted up by the warm yellow of your nightlight. If he could, he’d engrave this image of you in his head.

His eyes wide and lustful, they trail over you. “You’re so beautiful.” He whispers.

Hovering above you, he strokes the side of your face, before pressing his body to yours in a soft gentle kiss. He moves so gently, like you could break at any moment. When your hands wrap around his neck, he grabs hold of your wrists, pinning them above your head. You let out a soft whimper.

Jungkook takes his time, showering your skin with kisses. Starting from your neck down to your navel. He licks one side of your breast, teasingly drawing circles with his tongue along the nipple, then gives the same attention to the other. Your breathing gets hitched in your throat, feeling the blood rush down south.

He brings his mouth lower, hands now occupying your breasts where his mouth was. It sends you butterflies the way his hot breath brushes against your skin. There’s something different about the way he’s touching you tonight.

He spares some kisses down your inner thighs and watches the way goosebumps appear as they try to clam up reflexively.

Hands on your thighs, he pushes them apart and runs a teasing lick over your folds. Then his tongue finds its way to your clit, flicking it gently before his lips wrap around it and he starts gently sucking. You jolt and take in a sharp breath grabbing a fishful of the sheets.

His fingers delicately touch your folds, running a teasing finger over your entrance. Looking up from between your thighs, he watches the way you steady your breaths, eyes closed, brows furrowed.

It doesn’t last long and when you open your eyes, he’s hovering over you, licking his lips. Very eagerly you pull down the hem of his boxers, exposing his hard cock. His own fingers wrap around it, stroking himself gently as he reaches for a bottle of lube. He stares at you with a look you can’t read.

“Something on your mind?” You voice out.

He shakes his head with a gentle smile and takes his position between your legs, your thighs over his. Aligning himself with your entrance, he grips your ankles on either side. Slowly, he enters and you will yourself not to make a sound at the initial stretch.

Jungkook keeps a steady pace, watching intently the way he moves in and out of you. You can’t help but to stare at him and the way his abs clench every time he moves his hips into you. The flexing of his arms every now and then, keeping your legs steady. And the way the warm light casts shadows dancing over his body as he moves.

“Jungkook.” You call out for him, so softly.

He releases your ankles and leans forward, resting his body on yours. Pressing his forehead to you, he admires the look of lust in your eyes and the way you’re biting your bottom lip. “Yes, my love?”

Your fingers run over his face. You’re too occupied with the pleasure of him inside you that your brain refuses to put your thoughts into words. He chuckles when you only manage a breathy smile instead.

Your wrists get pinned over your head once again, and he watches you from above. Every thrust is deep and filling, his hips moving expertly to give you just the right amount of pleasure, leaving you a hot mess beneath him.

You look absolutely breathtaking to him; the parting of your lips, eyes shut and shaky breaths. Your breasts bounce with every thrust and your chest rises and falls with every breath you take. He lets out a low guttural sound and presses his body to yours, devouring your lips in a passionate kiss.

His hips pick up speed, grinding into you with calculated moves. You get lost in each other, a mixture of your quick breaths filling the room. The look in his eyes is mirrored in yours, waves of emotions flowing between both your bodies and soul.

Jungkook can’t describe his feelings for you. It’s something he hasn’t felt in a long time; warmth, love, trust, acceptance. All he knows is to tell you he loves you and hopes you get it.

Your eyes get misty as you let your own emotions get to you, feeling the twinge in your chest when you look at him.

Arms wrapping around his waist, your tongues dance between your lips. He knows all the right spots to leave you breathless. You feel it building in the pit of your stomach, and pull away from the kiss, no longer in control of your actions.

Jungkook feels it too, sensing the pressure between your hips as they wrap tightly around him. He steadies himself and gives you long, deep strokes, as he watches your breaths get quicker. The euphoric look on your face earns a grunt of approval from him.

Not wanting to hold back any longer, his hips grind into yours at a quicker pace, feeling himself reaching his release. His mouth latches on to your nipple, sucking it for a second before he hears small whines leaving you, signalling you’re close.

Willing yourself to keep your eyes open, you place a hand on the side of his face, making sure his eyes stay on yours. It gets blurrier with the way tears start to fill your eyes. “I love you.” You blurt out in a whisper and he rests his forehead on yours as he thrusts hard, one which makes your insides squirm.

Jungkook’s breath hitches in his throat as he watches you. A single tear rolls down the side of your face as you start to reach your high. “I love you Y/N.” He breathes out against your lips before capturing you in a kiss. With one hard thrust, you find yourself succumbing to the pressure in your middle, unravelling a wave of pleasure that courses through your entire body, chest rising towards him and hands keeping him close.

Watching you, he reaches his own climax, hips bucking wildly into yours, and you feel his warm release spilling inside you, his moans lost in the kiss. It takes a while before his hips slow down into a gentle rhythm. Your body goes limp as you ride it out, drained of energy.

He catches his breath with his head on yours and when you finally catch each other’s eyes, you share a giggle. He shines in his afterglow, a look of pure bliss on his face. But he could say the same for you, thumb running over your cheek to wipe off the tear stains.

In that moment, it feels as if you’re staring right into his soul. He stares back at you, as if trying to say something more than what’s been said, worrying once again about conveying what’s in his heart. But you just smile back.

“I know, Jungkook. I know. I love you too.”

#jungkook fics #networkbangtan #kwritersworldnet #jungkook x you #jungkook smut #jungkook scenarios #bts scenarios #rainworks #my #hope you like it :(

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modern-vellichor · 4 years

Text

Withdrawal

Chapter One

Summary: Shes broken and bruised, and so are they. But at least she can't remember when shes sad; but god can they.

Warning: Substance abuse, alcohol, cigarettes, smoking, implied smut, self deprecation, self hate, destructive behaviour

Pairing: Steve x reader

"Trust me, Rogers", Tony sighs into Steve's ear as they push and shove through the crowd of stone-drunks and druggies.

"If you're finding her in a place like this, I don't think we should trust her", Steve states back.

Purple and blue light dances around them, and so do the nearly naked bodies of the 20-somethings surrounding them. The air reeked of sweat and cheap vodka, crushed pills and fine white powder dusted almost every surface, and smoke wafted all around them.

They really needed help. Something was coming, and they couldn't figure out how to stop it. Every day was the same: wake up, new theory, failed theory, repeat. Tony got so fed up that he decided to finally call on an old friend for help, except she didn't answer. She never called him back, or answered his texts, or his emails. And so he hunted her down, and now they were pushing their way through a sweaty and drugged up crowd of young adults in a sketchy bar.

Then they reached it, a doorway covered with a thin mesh curtain. A group of people, younger, all in their early twenties. A girl who was very clearly in charge sat in the middle of all of them, one hand gripped a cigarette loosely, it looked at home between her fingers, the other was latched around the back of a petite boys neck, small and blonde and so desperate to please her - to please you.

Your skin has a grey tinge to it, gaunt and daunting. Your eyes were dull and hazy, dark circles prominent. You looked ill, but you grinned nonetheless.

You brought the cigarette to your lips, inhaling with a small grin, unaware of the three men towering in the doorway, Bucky had joined them on the mission. They watched as the blonde boy passed a violently green pill to you, and you opened your mouth for him, sticking your tongue out, and playfully biting his finger before you swallowed the drug whole.

Tony coughed. He looked at home, and Bucky showed no emotion, but Steve was wildly uncomfortable, and apparently it showed.

You downed the last of the amber liquid in a glass on the small table, before gently shoving your boytoy away and standing up. You swayed for a moment before steadying and making your way to the group.

"You shouldn't have brought blondie over here, Stark. This isn't his scene, look at him", you scolded softly, the corners of Steve's mouth lifted slightly. You turned to him before speaking again, hazy eyes meeting his. "Let's go somewhere a little more quiet, yeah?"

The group nodded and you lead them through the crowd until you descended a staircase and made your way into a sleek looking room, and silence settled comfortably over the group. You discarded your cigarette along the way and so you made yourself comfortable on the leather chair behind the desk and lit another.

The three men got comfortable on a little leather couch. Tony sighed.

"How bad is it gonna be tomorrow?", he asked softly.

"Real bad", you chuckled dryly.

Steve wasn't so sure what Tony meant, but he was almost sure that he was talking about the aftermath of whatever you had taken. Bucky still stayed emotionless.

"How much have you had?", Tony asked again.

"Enough that if I have any more I think I might just die", again you laughed, you had an air of clear nonchalance about the whole situation. You seemed completely aware of everything, yet your pupils were dilating rapidly, and you were slurring your words, and swaying when you stood.

"So, Tony and the Golden Boys", you chided. "What do you want?"

"We need your help", Steve pleaded. You looked as if you would have argued relentlessly if Tony had asked the same, but your hazy eyes met his baby blues and you smiled.

"Tomorrow", you said, and Tony nodded.

"C'mon, Y/N, let's get you home, yeah?", you stamped out the cigarette and nodded, gladly falling into Steve's arms. The men carried you out of the bar and into the car they had come in, and took you back to the compound. Steve had let you stay in his room, tucking you into bed and sitting awake on the uncomfortable plastic desk chair he never used, just in case something happened in the night and he slept through it.

It was three in the morning when she began to shake lightly and broke out into cold sweats. Steve got a little nervous, but simply sat himself against the headboard and left you alone. After a half hour, you were shaking uncontrollably and drenched in sweat. Steve was trying desperately to calm you down, he had a cold face cloth over your forehead, and was running a hand through your hair and cooing softly. And when that didnt work, he scooped you into his arms and ran until he found Tony. The panic only really set in when Tony couldnt stop it either. Tony feigned calmness and dialed an unfamiliar number into his phone. Steve narrowed his eyes when the blonde boy from earlier waltzed in.

He surveyed the scene with mild interest before pulling a familiar orange bottle out of his pocket, he slipped one into your mouth and you swallowed instinctively. Less than twenty minutes passed before you had fallen back into a peaceful sleep.

"What's your name, kid?", Steve grunted as the boy turned to leave.

"Luca. Oh, by the way", he turned and threw the bottle at Steve. "These are for when she gets antsy"

"How do I know when to give her one?"

"Oh, you'll know", and with that he was gone.

When Steve woke the next morning, you and Tony had already started working in the conference room. Papers and Manila folders scattered across the table.

You worked in silence, the three of you together, until you found a lead, and the three of you gathered the necessary people and set off.

You drove in silence, dusk settling over the city. It was well near dark by the time Tony stopped outside of a sketchy looking club.

"You sure this is the place?", he said to you, surveying the building with care. Bucky was in the backseat next to Steve, and he watched you intently, Steve noted this.

You pulled out your phone, double checked something typed into your notes and nodded, getting out of the car.

You took one last look of the building before pulling off your sweater throwing it into the car. You unbuttoned your shirt and tied it up, pulling your sweatpants to your hip bones and smudging your mascara. Then you turned to Bucky with puppy dog eyes; "Bucky, can I borrow your jacket?"

He shrugged the heavy leather off without a second thought, throwing it gently around your shoulders.

"Why is it so important for you to look the part?", Steve asked, he came off more hostile than intended, thrown off by Bucky's gentle actions.

"Because if I look the part", you shook out your hair until it was messy and wild. "You don't have to"

You lit a cigarette and waltzed in like you owned the place, Bucky close behind, Tony and Steve keeping their distance. You were at home in the atmosphere, taking everything and anything offered to you as you pushed through the crowd, until you were shaking your head 'no', and leaning on Bucky for support. But still, you had a clear head and a mission, and made your way to the tall man with dark hair who dominated the back section of the club.

"Duke?", you asked sternly, he towered over you, but you crossed your arms and kept a straight face, Bucky looming behind your shoulder.

"Who's asking?", he shot back.

Steve watched from a distance as the two of you talked and eventually argued, and then followed you out of the club when you turned on your heel and stormed out. He was also the first to join you in your room after you had left for the evening.

He knocked gently, peeking around the corner and shuffling in. He sat at the edge of your bed, and when you patted the mattress next to you, had gotten comfortable against the headboard. You curled into his side. He hesitantly threw an arm around your shoulders and you only nuzzled further into him. You fell asleep like that, wrapped around each other.

Over the coming weeks you became dependant on him, and he worried about you. He worried when you came home drunk out of your mind or stoned to the edge of oblivion, but you always sobered up. It was the late nights that scared him, when you had already fallen asleep and begun to shake, and the only thing that seemed to stop it was the little green pills that he kept on him at all times.

He had been taught from the very beginning that addicts needed help, so slowly but surely he reduces your dose, crushing the pill and only giving you fractions of it. Until it was half, and you still seemed to be fine.

The weeks went on and your work piled up. You hardly ever left your desk, you and Tony working side by side, day through night. Steve spent his nights cold and alone and longing for you back in his bed. With your nights spent huddled up under dim lamp light, you hardly had any time to go out. You stole a few minutes for a cigarette on the roof every few hours, but that was all. Steve couldn't help but smile knowing how much better you were.

You looked constantly tired, but your smile was brighter and wider. Pictures of you and Tony lined the walls of your cramped little office.

Every few days you disappeared, saying your were checking up on your cramped little apartment. You always came back with a fresher air about you, happy and doe eyed. Steve longed to be invited on your little day trips to whatever life you hid from him. He didnt want to only be your night life, to be the only thing you could depend on when stash grew low. He dropped subtle hints here and there, little suggestions. He wondered if your house was anything like you. If its walls were bright and it was clean, or if it was unorganised and dark, curtains drawn permanently shut.

One day he found out. You couldnt find your car keys and asked Steve for a ride. He was more than eager to help, talking nonstop the short drive there. Your apartment was small, cramped. It was neat. Plants littered every surface, all alive and thriving.

"How are your plants still alive?", he pondered aloud.

"Luca waters them for me"

Steve sighed internally. Although Luca hardly ever came up in conversation, his existence plagued Steve. He couldnt get the image of how eager he was to please you, of how you held so much power over him. He didnt dare to imagine what the two of you had done previous to your introduction. He was lost in his self destructive train of thought the entire visit. When you grabbed his bicep and gave a reassuring squeeze, he was pulled back to reality and you returned to the compound.

You slipped into his room that evening. He could smell the hint of old whiskey and smoke on your breath, but he didnt mind. He drank you up, swallowing you whole. He crowded you into the mattress until you sang a song that was only for him. He was sweet and soft, but so distant once it ended. You could never forget, thighs rubbed raw from the scratch of his beard, lungs aching from lack of breath. But he simply rolled over and fell asleep. Some evenings, he would hold you close and tight and never let go, keep you tight there. Most, though, you had to curl against the broad expanse of your back and hope for some attention in return. And it never came on nights like this, but you tried anyway.

You were gone in the morning, as per usual, but he couldnt find you elsewhere. Not could he find Tony or Bucky, and that's when he realised that they had left without him.

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cosmosflower92 · 3 years

Text

i haven't dropped in

and given you guys much of an update of whats going on in my life since around the end of October,

i broke things off completely with Jorge at this point and i have decided that im gonna be open to dating but just really lightly, im not interested in falling in love right now because i need to learn to appreciate my own company and get back into doing what i like to do. that is gonna come with me blogging some more than i have in the past and making my candles, along with my tarot reading and practice.

i have noticed that i have started to like the adderal i have been getting from my friend a little to much, im going to lay off of them for a few months because i dont want to develop and habit with those, i have noticed when i come down i get really really depressed, i cant have that kind of depression knocking at my door right now.

i noticed i would not be able to sleep and i would just want to cry constantly.

with that thought being present i have decided to only to smoke weed this year.

many of you are new hear so long story short i struggled with an addiction to a bad substance and have been clean off that substance for 3 years but i do have an addictive personality that i can not ignore so when i start to see some developing habits no matter what the substance is i cut it out for long periods of time cold turkey.

i know being an addict is something that i will have to face throughout my lifetime, its something i think i have better handle on it now than i have had in a very long time.

in other news my mom had invited this random guy to come stay with torrey and her (torrey is my 28 year old younger sister) just before Christmas, and this is someone she barley knew wich is what scared me about the whole thing, my mother suffered a brain aneurysm 2 years ago and while she has healed in physical ways in some mental ways she is different, one of these differences is that she doesn't use forethought the way that she should and doesn't asses risks because of that. anyways...i went over there on Christmas eve to spend that night with my mother as is tradition, when i god there he introduced himself and me being super intuitive noticed something was off about him right from the start, i got this like vibe that he was not being truthful about alot of things, over the course of the night he got weirder and weirder i think he was on drugs that night because he was acting really erratic and at one point started to fight with my mom after me and my sister had gone to bed, me and my sister heard the argument and i went out there and she told him to pack his bags and leave, me and my sister decided we would drop him off at his moms house that he got kicked out of. we also gave him some money so that he could either get a hotel or pay someone to stay with them, on the way to do this he mentions that he also have active warrants because of violation of his probation which means he was already in trouble with the law. i really felt bad for him though because i can tell that he is going to be a person that will sabotage any thing he has going for him because he expects people to give on him but when you also make bad choices and do bad things people dont have to help you through it, its almost like a catch 22 in that way. i really hope he finds his way but i can tell his aggression was going to be a problem for my sweet mother. im glad he is out of her life but i am sad because we didnt get to a chance to show him what real love and support looks like. but my mom is to old to be trying to raise another person who acts like a child at 22. idk i guess ill harbor some guilt about this but i will pray for him and try to move in grace from that situation.

but that is it basically for the update for now,

im committed to blogging more and going back to using this page as my diary because i dont have anyone on here from my personal life so i feel way more comfortable expressing my feelings here anyway.

#personal

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mrskisaki · 4 years

Text

Um so my situation has gotten worse and I might be taking a break from tumblr all together but ima try not to.

Ima just explain in a short story version of what's happening (it's a long story)

Might have a few triggers in here idk, you dont have to read. Mainly just a rant for me.

I'm sorry how messy this is, my brain is in shambles rn

I made this blog to get away from my home life and bring me temporary happiness but I havent been able to enjoy it like I used to and I feel bad because lately I havent been active and I know this isnt something you all want to read about.

Okay so bam, when I was 9 years old my mother died (her friend od her on pain medication after she got out of surgery) so it's been My dad, my brother who was 10 and me until my dad got with my step mom when I was 12. We ended up moving in with her and her kids (19,18,17 and 12 all girls). It was nice at first but after a while things got bad for me and my brother bc we were the step siblings so we got treated differently. So fastfoward to 16, my brother ended up running away because of how toxic things were and left me alone ( I dont blame him though) so everything got thrown to me, one of the sisters got married and moved out and another got engaged and moved out, they're the two that are nice but the other two are complete assholes. It got to the point where I was unable to talk to any of my real siblings (my brother is the only one who has both parents as me) and I was forced to move schools my junior year so I couldnt see him and had to start 2 weeks late. Okay so fastfoward I'm 18 now and for the passed few years has been hell (the reason why I barely get any sleep is because I have to do all the chores in the house and there's 7 people that lives here along with 2 dogs so I'm constantly cleaning and I do all the cooking as well) . My step mom has a tendency to talk down and bad on my real family and on my deceased mom. Ngl, my momma was a Og. She was the plug back in the day lmfaooooo but anyways my step mom always brings up things my mom did back in the day and says that ima follow in her foot steps. She says I'm going to be a drug addict, alcoholic, a single parent and swears that I'm pregnant even though I've never done anything before. I have really bad anxiety to the point where I will start shaking bad, throw up and be unable to breathe until I calm myself down. I asked to go get officially diagnosed so I can get medication but she says I'm wanting attention and there's nothing wrong with me (hence why she says I'm pregnant) She constantly picks on my flaws and insecurities (especially my weight bc I actually have meat on my bones and her kids and skinny and also my stuttering and mispronunciation when I get anxious) and compares me to her kids with their achievements and swears that I will amount to nothing. Okay so the oldest is 26 and shes still lives here and has no job, shes a compulsive liar and just lies on me continously for no reason and since I'm not blood, I dont get believed and berated for something I didnt even do (they sometimes get really mad and put their hands on me and pull my hair). I try to talk to my dad about everything that's going on but he works 7pm-7am so when he comes home, he doesn't want to hear it but when he actually let's me speak, he doesn't really care and is on their side. Even though I'm 18, I'm not in control of my life; I'm not allowed to leave to hangout with friends, not allowed to basically do anything; I had to beg to dye my hair and pierce my nose even though I was graduated and it was my own money. I couldnt even invite who I wanted to my own graduation so my brother couldnt come and she made me cry and feel bad about the fact that I wanted him to go. I was even forced to quit college 3 days before classes started. I had a job at McDonald's for a few days but had to quit because I had a really bad anxiety attack and since I no longer have a job, I get shit on for it. Okay okay okay so basically the 26 year old lied again and I finally stepped up and defended myself (I never defend myself bc I dont like confrontation and it makes my anxiety raise quickly and I cant handle people yelling at me) and it made everything worse. They ganged up on me and to put a long story short, I have until the 15th of December to get out. Idk what I'm going to do considering I have nowhere to go, I'm going to try to speak to my dad about it when he gets off in the morning but I doubt anything is going to change. It gets alot deeper but I dont really feel comfortable speaking about it but just know, it's bad.

I'm sorry that you all read this, I hope the rest of your day or night is good :) <3333

I really dont want to take a break but I might not have a choice, I'm sorry.

#honeybakedthatch rambles

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possiamo-andare · 4 years

Text

No More Divisions - Chapter One: Helping Out a Friend

JJ x Original Character

Hey everyone, this is my first ever piece of writing ever so please give your feedback really appreciated. I'm hoping to maybe do another chapter since JJ and Callie (my oc) barely get to talk in this. I just wanna set up the story first. Thanks.

MASTERLIST

Living on the Kooks side of OBX did have it's perks. For one, Kooks had generators. This meant that when the storm hit a week earlier, it almost went unnoticed in my house. I had slept through the storm and I slept through the generators picking back up in seconds after the lights went out. A generator, which most Pogues went without, was not even a luxury where I lived. Another thing that I didn't see as a luxury but actually was is the air conditioner. I was deeply unaware of the Pogues situation when it came to sleepless nights because of the ghastly heat. I never knew what it felt like to not be able to sleep because you felt as if your body was on fire. I even slept with blankets on because the air conditioner was making me cold.

Although I had these luxuries growing up, I had one thing money couldnt buy; true friends and real life experiences.

Since my family was wealthy, I had never needed a job. I soon came to realize that if I was ever going to learn about discipline or build on a work ethic, I was gonna need to get a job. I knew Mr. Heyward needed an assistant since his son Pope had recently become unreliable during this summer so I applied for the position and got it the same day I applied. I actually loved working for Mr. Heyward. Although a bit standoffish at first, he is a complete marshmellow once you get to know him. The other thing I got to know was how much he loved Pope. Mr. Heyward suffered greatly to provide his son with the skills he needed to get a scholarship. While we worked, he told me of his sacrifices as a father but also as a person with dreams. I told him that one day his dreams would come true and Pope would help him. For someone who's father rarely shows any semblance of interest in them, it was so touching to see Mr. Heyward talk about his love for his son.

As for the friends, I couldn't make friends at the academy and I knew it was for one reason; surfing. I had been obsessed with surfing since I watched the movie Soul Surfer when I was a kid and had been eager to hit the waves ever since. With lots of lessons paid for by my parents, I was a natural now and spent most of my free time surfing. Many of the Kooks at my school could care less about surfing and more about material things so I got along with virtually no one at school.

That is, until I met Rafe. Rafe was in my science class and very polite to me when we first met. He was the first person to talk to me as if I hadn't just came to OBX from outer space and I actually enjoyed our conversations together. Eventually, after many conversations in science, he invited me to sit with him at lunch. This is where I met Sarah, my now best friend. Sarah and I quickly became thick as thieves; Sarah and I's love for the environment what was initially brought us together but not long after we met we began talking about everything. And eventually, I told her about my crush on Rafe. And she told me his crush on me.

Rafe and I dated for 6 months, which is long when you're 16 and never had a boyfriend before. This was the old Rafe. The one before he graduated and started changing. Before he started sniffing crack and hanging out with drug dealers. We had been having problems towards the end of our relationship, right after he graduated, and I was naive to believe that maybe it was my fault. When I saw him snort crack for the first time at a party, I knew for sure that it was him and not me. I broke up with him that night.

I didn't tell Sarah about the drugs. I wish I did but it never felt like the right time and although I was getting over Rafe, I still felt obligated to hold onto this secret for him.

Sarah and I continued to be friends and we were the closest we'd ever been. Until she met John B. I had nothing against Pogues but Sarah had been with Johm B. for most of the summer on a wild goose chase that turned into a summer romance, and I was getting tired of being the third wheel. For too long I had been cast aside and stood up. Whenever we'd make plans, it was always another lame lie from Sarah. First it was that John B. and Sarah needed to get onto the ferry to read the archives, then John B., his Pogue friends and Sarah needed to sneak into a house to find hidden treasure. I knew that all of her stories were too preposterous and that there was no way in hell that any of these stories were true.

That is, until the night Sarah called me from her house.

It was 8pm when she had called me and I was just catching up a show I was watching. When I looked at the caller ID, and I saw Sarah's name, I almost didn't want to pick up. She had neglected me so far this summer I almost felt as if I should teach her a lesson. This mentality didn't last long because I had already accepted the phone call before I could talk myself out of it.

"Hey." I stated bluntly, secretly hoping Sarah was calling to apologize for lying and blowing me off for the beginning of the summer.

"Hey Callie, I need your help."

"Really? You need my help -" I was about to go in on her for ignoring me and lying but then I heard her cries and I stopped.

"I'm sorry, but I really need you right now."

So Sarah explained everything. Most of what she had told me was the actual truth and not a lie like I thought. They had found the $400 million in gold and before they could retrieve it, John B. had tried to kill her father on a boat. He had come to her and tried to tell her that her father was lying but she was so upset and confused she couldn't hear it at the time. Now, two hours later, Sarah was starting to have her suspicions and needed my help.

"Well, what do you need my help for?"

"You're helping Mr. Heyward with the landing strip tomorrow right?"

"Yeah, we're supposed to make it longer because the plane is heavier." I answered, confused on what this had to do with John B or her father.

Sarah gasped. "Of course... heavier."

"Sarah, what's wrong?" I couldn't understand how the plane tied into all of this.

"Callie, I need you to get to John B. tomorrow. I'm supposed to get on that plane tomorrow but I can't. I need you to get to John B. and tell him where I am and I need you to stall the plane from taking off." Sarah spoke quickly and quietly, almost scared that someone could hear her.

"Okay, I'll find John B. and stall the plane. But Sarah, what's on the plane that's making it heavier. I got to know?" I'm almost one hundred percent sure I already know the answer.

"I think you know Callie. Bye."

And I did know. Sarah's dad got his hands on the gold.

When I finally got to the land strip the next morning, everything was in order and ready to go. We only had to wait for Sarah and Ward Cameron, her father. I tried to think of ways to stall the best I could. Mr. Heyward entrusted me and was long gone by the time I arrived. At least he wouldn't be here to see all the mischief I would create.

As I watched the dozens of men starting to transfer the gold onto the plane, I stared off into the distance and planned. As I stared off, something caught my eye. A hundred yards away, behind a fence and trees was a wagon with four passengers. One had binoculars on, watching me. Or more specifically, the plane getting loaded on. I recognized the wagon immediately as John B.'s and dropped my clipboard and ran to him.

I remembered Sarah's words. I knew this was my chance to help her and be the friend I knew I could be. She had told me this was between life and death and the way she said it made me believe it.

As I got closer to John B., his friends and the fence, I could see them start panicking and back away from the fence. The last thing I wanted was for them to get nervous and drove away so I decided to shout at John B and his friends.

"Hey! John B.!" I looked at John B.'s friends. I noticed a girl from my school. "Kiara!" Then I looked again and noticed Pope Heyward, my boss's son. I then looked one more time and saw a blond boy I didnt know the name of. He was the only one not backing away. It was almost as if he knew me but I didn't know him.

As soon as I said their names, they stopped and watched me approach the fence. Once I reached the fence, John B. spoke first, mostly because I could see he recognized me and didn't see me as a threat.

"Callie!" He smiled and waved, walking closer to the fence. "Where's Sarah?"

"She's coming here. Ward is putting her on a plane with the gold and they're leaving today." I panted, trying to catch my breath from running all the way here.

"I knew it!" Pope was gleaming with joy.

John B.'s face wasn't as happy. "We have to make sure she doesn't get on that plane."

"I don't know how to stop it." I shrugged my shoulders and then looked again at everyone. "Any ideas?"

Kiara gasped and pointed to something behind me. "We don't have much time to think. Sarah's here."

I turned and saw Sarah getting out of her dad's car. She had a short conversation with him then walked off towards one of the men loading the gold onto the plane. Before I had time to react, her father was pulling her onto the plane as she screamed for help.

"Back away from the fence!" John B. screamed as he ran back into his car and started it.

I did as I was told and watched as John B. put his car in reverse and then drive forward as fast as he could into the fence. I was surprised when he knocked it down in one blow, but then again I wasn't so surprised. John B. was very determined.

I turned to Kiara, Pope, and the blonde haired boy who, on closer inspection, I determined had to be the hottest guy I've ever seen. He had a chiseled jaw and two slits for eyes. He seemed in a perpetual state of his eyes being in slits that I thought either he needed sunglasses or he was upset too much. He was watching me watch him and before anything could get too uncomfortable, Kiara spoke up.

"Sarah told us about you."

"Really?" I was so surprised. There was this little, annoying voice in my head that told me that Sarah might've been embarrassed of me. Sometimes I could be embarrassing.

"Yeah. She said how amazing you are, just that you couldn't believe her at first."

I smiled awkwardly. "This is all just very hard to believe."

"Sarah!" I heard a scream from behind me and I whipped my head around.

Now, John B. Had his car in front of the plane, blocking it from leaving the strip. He was trying to get Sarah out of the plane but Ward had gotten out first and was yelling at John B. and pushing him. Sarah had then emerged from the plane and was trying to calm both of them down. Before anything could get too physical, police sirens were heard from a distance and I looked back to Kiara, Pope and the blonde haired boy.

"I got a scholarship..." Pope said as he looked to where the sirens were coming from.

"I just posted bail." The blonde haired boy said, chuckling to himself.

Kiara looked to me. "Go help John B. and Sarah. John B. knows were to find us after. I'll get these guys outta here."

I nodded and gave each person a little salute before running off, heading into the dragon's den. As I got closer, the screaming got louder and before I knew it, I was in the middle of a fight I had no place being in.

"Callie?" Ward said to me, surprised to see me here even though he knew I worked for Mr. Heyward.

I ignored Ward right now. Mostly because I was mad at him. If all of what Sarah has told me she thinks is true, Ward is a terrible human being. Now I know where Rafe gets it from.

"Sarah, are you ok?" I asked, touching her should.

She smiles and nods at me. "Thanks so much. I love you." She grabs my hand and squeezes onto it. I squeeze back.

John B. was too into yelling at Ward right now that he didn't acknowledge me. I didn't blame him though. If anything, this was very normal way to react when knowing the information John B. did.

"You're gonna pay for what you did!" John B. yelled again, stepping in front of Sarah and I too protect us. Even in time like this, John B. was selfless. I regret not getting to know him better.

"You hear that? Those sirens are coming for you John B.!" Ward yelled back, turning around to point at the Sheriff's car driving to a stop behind Ward.

As the Sheriff gets out of the car, Ward calls out to her and starts pointing fingers at John B. "That's him, Sheriff. He almost tried to kill us!"

"That's not true!" I yelled, now getting angry with Ward. What makes him think he's charismatic enough to lie when there are witnesses here?

"Callie..." The Sheriff calmly raised her hand at me to silence me. "I know who the culprit is."

She raised her gun in the air and pointed it at Ward. "Ward Cameron, raise your hands in the air. You're being arrested for the murder of Big John Routledge."

Sarah and I gasped. Although we all had our theories, seeing this all unfold in front of us was another level of surreal. I grasped onto Sarah's hand tighter as she cried into my shoulder and as John B. looked to us for the first time. I could tell he was holding back tears. I could not imagine what he was going through. After all this time...

"Get on your knees," The Sheriff warned and Ward did as she demanded, slowly turning around and kneeling in front of us.

I couldn't believe I had slept in the same house as a murderer. I tried to count the number of times I had a sleepover at Sarah's in the last year. It was too many too count. And the whole time, something sinister was happening through the cracks of the walls.

I was almost she glad to see something so traumatizing for Sarah happen because at least a murderer was getting put away for good. I was so wrapped up in how Sarah, John B., and myself felt that I didn't notice, as the Sheriff was reading Ward's Miranda Rights, he had turned around and tried to over power the Sheriff. Before anyone had time to react quickly enough, a gunshot was fired from the Sheriff's gun.

I had closed my eyes after the shot was fired and I imagined Ward's body dropping to the ground. I felt the gravel shake as a body fell to the ground but when I heard John B. gasp, I had a sickening fear it wasn't Ward's body that was falling.

When I opened my eyes, my suspicions were proven to be right. In front of us lay the Sheriff's slowly dying body, a bullet wound from her chest bleeding out onto the landing strip. Sarah was screaming and John B rushed to apply pressure to the Sheriff's wound. I, on the other hand, could only cry.

I cried because of the Sheriff's wound and of the death of John B.'s father and how Ward, a man I trusted and looked up to, killed him. But I cried mostly because it wasn't Ward holding the gun. Ward hadn't shot the Sheriff. The guy standing in front of me did.

Rafe, sweaty and eyes bubbling over with tears, was holding the gun that shot the Sheriff.

#jj maybank #jj x oc #jj x callie #outer banks #obx #obx rp #obx netflix #rudy pankow #pope heyward #jj outer banks #jj obx #john b routledge #kiara outer banks #kiara carrera

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stray-tori · 4 years

Text

An Innocent Sin & the good gay flashback ft. my descent into madness

I wasn’t sure if I should post this but I mostly want it archived so here we go. This is from like,, September?

So. “An Innocent Sin” is a dumpster fire unlike anything I’ve ever seen. I don’t remember why I decided to read it. maybe I was crazy. Either way... I read it. It soon started to touch upon (very very outlandish) sexual abuse which I thought was interesting. (the angst, not so much some of the wack circumstances surrounding it)

ANYWAY. at some point... we have a flashback. And not just that. It has a gay character.

And it turns rly gay. which mind you, is still in a het smut manwha (that has a “gay” side couple, but still!)

And it destroyed me.

For those who want to read it because I genuinely think the flashback is a decent bit, it’s all the bonus chapters between chapter 77 and 78 I think. There’s a part before that too, but idk where exactly anymore. (It’s on lezhin! or your platform of choosing)

I don’t THINK you’ll need any other knowledge to get the flashback bit? but it’s been a while.

Below the cut (rip mobile users), you can read all of my amazing reactions (all of these were text messages, for context - but I took most of the replies and convos about other things out). Post is also tagged as long post. :))

(i’m serious, this is fucking long)

__________

Here I am. Liking the gay flashback character. Feck. Main dude is still straight but idk it's cute pff

This is a mess. The girl white hair likes, likes black hair, maybe, but thinks white hair is attractive

What just happened is sth I'd like to know too pff He's so cute tho omg. Watch me melt Can we stay in this flashback before everything got perverted af and before white hair gets assaulted all the time I would send an eyebrow emote if I could Context: he's asking he says it again

Ik it's not mutual but loookkk he's so sweet. He's kinda rude in present time, can't we stay in this flashback forever

I never asked for gay, never expected gay but I got gay

This story is trash why am I still reading it shdhhd

He caught his mom cheating. And now she's forcing him to watch??? What is thissss Well adoptive mom But still sudhdidu what Bitch how dare YOU exist

Save my babyyyy

Yay sister that's not yet a rapist to the rescueee

This flashback is actually just nicer in every way let's just stay here This is a super long flashback btw Idek anymore what triggered it

Okay I think I'm gonna make the sensible decision and let this dumpster fire rest and just go sleep

It was very wild. I kinda wanna see white hair get therapy but it has 90 chapters and I'm at like 30... So I'm very concerned this is gonna be very dragged out. Idek if it's even finished ahahsududi - but I do kinda wanna see where it goes and see more cute Noah (white hair) so. Here we are.

yeahhh like i was down for the sexual abuse angst but then the mother killed the adoptive son's mother bc the dad had a thing for her?? and it was someone a person studying with white hair knew and so he's investigating and I'm like how did this turn into a crime organisation kind of plot

hhhhhhh i... i appreciate these horny things also tackling abuse but it always kind of gives me weird vibes to have both, especially when its very horny. And when people are horny to people who've been abused. Idk but I'd assume... you might try NOT to tie them up if they're frequently bondaged during their assaults. I'm just.... disjdksdj hello?? am i weird?? why are they fine with it???

also this manwha is so wild, theres this murder mystery investigation thing and then theres just a couple doing honry stuff sprinkled in between and i'm like OKAY

they rescued a guy in their basement and he's understandably very traumatized and they're trying to question him cut to our main couple trying bondage which i still dont understand bECAUSE HE'S A RAPE VICITM WHY ARE YOU OKAY WITH THIS the ones questioning arent the main couple of course but idshkjds

like im glad he's somehow okay with all this horny stuff despite his trauma and im glad he can be happy and have a nice relationship but DO WE NEED THIS MUCH OF IT he's very cute tho

i like that even when i try other stuff lezhin recommends me it still has large amount of gay in it

[mei: i mean... that's pretty great, if you ask me]

I mean I agree, I'm enjoying the gay eheheh these tonal whiplashes there's not even that much white space between the panels fhjd nvm it just turned horny goddamn it can there be 1 chapter without fucking? okay, there were the flashbacks

WE ARE BACK IN FLASHBACKS but im not getting the gay relationship, sad

OH WAIT AM I GETTING GAY COMFORT bc thats very good too

OH NNOOO this turned sad very quickly

I'M SORRY IM SPAMMING BUT THIS IS JUST ANGSTY

I'M :((((

different species confirmed

I rly like them :((( I like the current girl too but it's just..... very horny with her. the flashbacks are nice [current tori edit: she’s very unloyal idk why i said I liked her] im weird HHHHH RIPPP

someone help him he looks so saddddd

not sure if thats the most healthy relationship but I'LL TAKE IT

AWWW black hair's mom cooks mild food for them bc Noah can't eat spicy food :((( im soft

PFFF

I LOVE THE FLASHBACKS :(((

awww

i feel like theyve done much more bonding than noah's current relationship. I mean yes I think its cute when she comforts him, too, but they rarely do anything besides be horny together

OH OH THEY'RE KISSING

best buildup, honestly

the position is hornier than I'd like later here goes hope it stays cute

D-did someone just respect the word "stop"??? I am amazed

i think you might uh. have some trauma stuff too so yknow

Dohye is a little dramatic in his reassurance but it's all rly cute so I'm :(( I like them a lot pls stay like this getting invested in flashbacks is always like: ik it wont stay but pls stay like this

hELP

chapters ending in "i wanna touch him" is never good. I'm scared. Oh okay he didnt do anything. PHEW. He's already better than the girl, can't they just end up together lmao

[Noah was jealous]

w-why do you look so evil dohye haukdhjs

oh. oh no. the horny is starting. pls dont... just be cute forever

DOHYE NO YOU WERE SO DECENT WHY ARE YOU LYING ABOUT KOREAN TRADITIONS TO GET HIM TO DO STUFF HORNY STUFF TOO NO PLS STOP I JUST- WHEEE TvT the manwha is actually less visually horny in the flashbacks but im not sure if its bc its BL which isnt rly the genre of the manwha or if its bc they're still kids basically, which... I'd respect the latter, tho I'd prefer it to be like this constantly haha

okay. he's not respecting stop anymore, but it's also more of embarrassed nature more than "no i dont want this stop" so maybe i can forgive it. Still losing points, but he hugged him and it was sweet so HHHHHHHHHHH NOT SURE HOW I SHOULD JUDGE THIS SITUATION

They [Noah’s family] forbid him to visit his friends house I AM DEVASTATED

understandable they're a rapist, a fucked up murderer mother and a father with a thing for younger women so

tho he dont know any of that but yknow he's so pretty just fucking end me on the spot

hooo

they are boyfriends and ik from the future that his sister is gonna ruin it allll she has those drugs that make visual imaginations feel like they rly happened to the person (dont know if thats real but holy fuck its terrifying) and she's used it before to say that Noah assualted her. and im pretty sure shes gonna use it again bc there was a panel of Noah remembering Dohye being uhhhh intimate with her and thats why Noah began to hate him and im so sad im not ready for it. bc he's denied it in the future and i honestly couldnt see it happening even before that or she drugged Dohye, i guess thats a possibility too

[current tori: oh girl, it’s neither and it’s wack]

which if, btich you gonna die even more enough rambling, more reading. this makes me so sad but also spicy

on the manwha note, he thinks Noah doesnt like his family bc he's adopted and doesnt feel comfy which....... fair enough i suppose. and he's so cute im gonna melt just looK AT THIS

SHUt UP, IM GONNA CRY

OH MY GODDDD he ate like ice and gum and all that, and Dohye assumed it was bc of the more spicy food and got rl worried, but he was just trying to get the smell out of his breath bc he wanted to kiss him ukhsdjs HOW CAN YOU BE SO CUTE HELLLOOOOOOOOO

look at them. LOOK AT mY BABIESSSS

how am i ever gonna care about the main couple again aww he-he wanted to go to the same highschool as him :((( im sad bc i know its not gonna happennnnnn

[mei: also at this point, you're literally never gonna care about them. i don't even know the main couple that well and i honestly don't care about them whatsoever.]

WAIT NO they're actually going to the same school awww ik it wont take long until sister fucks it up for them but for now theyre so sweet ohmygodddd

cant he move in with them, fuck his family honestly

dohye he's not a fucking pokemon iukhsdjs

oh. its. turning horny i am displeased with this development but i guess its natural for their relationship however COULD YOU DO IT AT HOME AND NOT IN SOME DUSTY SMALL ROOM how do ppl do this i like that the comments too are just "... is anyone still carng about the other girl?" sakjds

this is the best 3 panels in existence.

h-he just took your hand dohye idk what to tell you

[mei: "you blush at everything i do" god if that isn't me, idk what is]

awww its cute dohye is getting bonus points bc he invited Noah over while his mom wasnt home, they watched some sexual stuff and he DIDNT try to do anything what is this where can i get more of this

"well im not okay"

MY BABIESSSS

they still didnt do much btw they're just kinda exploring and its honestly nice TvT I dont want this to ever endddd

[Dohye sees Noah’s sister and approaches her] N O

N OOOO

this is the starttttt of something.......... TERRIBLEEEE

:((( babyyyy

I AM EMO

Noah was drugged im sure. hes having dreams and waking up in pain and the sister is asking doyhe over I DONT LIKE THISSSSSSS OH HE DECLINED

OKAY OKAY he saw him with her again but it was from behind and im not sure if it rly happened??? oh no this is terrible. Noah :((( poor child

i am so emo about this

[reminder he’s been abused TvT]

[the sister: “Don’t you want to know why?”]

i will. murder someone he called to ask her to delete his number btw what is this manwha but this is just gonna make it that more tragic when whatever happens that breaks them apart :(((

he's such a good bf but Noah just wont TELL him his side I'M SO SAD

I AM SO SAD

It cant end im actually tearing up nooo you were so cuteeee and happpyyy

[*sister is telling dohye to come to the gym hall*]

what else is she gonna do she already teared [current tori: ahem... T O R E] them apart THAT'S NOT DOYhE. THATS NEVER HIM. OH MY GOD. is it a look alike??? damn, she's dedicated to just. ruining it, huh

I’M

I’M SO SAD

now he's switching SCHOOLS NO NOOOOO how will i ever find happiness againnnn NO they're misunderstanding further they're not talking properly i mean i get it but oh my god

I'M :(((

NO NOOOO pls make up in the future at least omg he tried to clear it up tooo ahhh i dont even have hopes for them getting back together but i just i want them to clear it up im crying first manwha to make me cry and it's this dumpster fire ahaha maybe a little too bc it kinda hit a little close to home i guess but goddamnn ittttt they were so cuteee and so happy and AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

OH NO. Noahs getting drugged and assaulted. And he's realizing it happened before, he just forgot. I am. so sad it's not horny drawn either which i appreciate but MY HEART NO

N O DONT YOU DARE MAKE THIS WORSE

Im. gonna cry more

Doyhe kept an eye on him im so emo :(( but he thought he was doing well enough and gave up.... Im im so sad no i want you to make up and get back together its all just a stupid........... MEHHHH will i ever find sth like this flashback again

[mei: p-probably not, no]

i am so devasted i dont even wanna go back to the main couple just fucking. i want this relationship back :(((( but i guess the investigation might end up somewhere so hhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhh the baker manwha had a similar flashback feeling so. i just gotta find more of that haha

BUT THIS WAS SO SAD??? im so emo

[Dohye got kidnapped // the flashback commentary stops here but I think my descend into madness is pretty funny too]

OH YEAH THAT HAPPENED. THE FLASHBACK WAS SO LONG I FORGOT. NOOOO SAVE HIM. JESUS CHRIST PLS JUST ONE GOOD THING

its. actually rly smart to have another, more focused on them flashback, before the arc where he gets kidnapped by the rapist murder household so. good job. from a meta perspective but also NO but also. maybe theres hope for them making up at least after all :(((

[main couple kissing] this is. very weird now. but im glad he has someone, he deserves it but dohyeeeee

and switching to sex, YET AGAIN now i wanna see this EVEN LESS THAN I DID BEFOREEEE it's even.... a threesome now with one of the other characters why are you like this why can't you be. like in the flashback i am so upset HAHHHHH WHEEEZEEEE

I am just stop fucking jesus christ PLEASE I DONT WANNA SEE IT ANYMOREEEEE

im just stop the horny pls just tell me who that new guy is and why doyhe likes him so much

[mei: this manwha is a fucking mess but at least we got your lovely commentary out of it]

dhsuksj thanks i feel honored at least i got cute BL out of it before everything went [back] to shit

[mei: THAT TOO]

[...]

tbh im getting kinda mad about doyhe... i dont... feel like he'd just fall instantly for a guy who looks like Noah... but eh not my character

i just want closure for dohye at this point, fuck everything else ... not literally pls theres already too much of that

pls get it together for like 1 chapter is the investigation even still happening i am so confused save dohye plEASE wait what i have less than 10 episodes left Dont tell me this shit isnt even wrapped up yet

[Dohye is having a breakdown over the Noah double not coming to see him anymore]

yeah i this... doesnt feel like Dohye... at all... Even when Noah was rejecting him he was just kind of... taking it with some humor and maybe he was a little desperate and risky sometimes but... oh well... i do want him to get better but... im having a hard time believeing this development??? he never seemed overly anxious or anything. but who knows what else they did to him. Sister can still go fuck off tho

[...]

i mean. i liked the flashbacks a lot honestly??? it stayed simple and focused on the dynamics and less trying to balance smut with murder plots

[dm partner: NO THAT'S WHAT I MEAN LIKE CLEARLY THE AUTHOR CAN MAKE A GOOD STORY SO I'M JUST... CONFUSED AS TO WHY THEY DIDN'T STICK WITH SOME SOFT, FLUFFY BL ROMANCE MANWHA AND DECIDED TO MAKE WHATEVER THIS IS INSTEAD ]

okay i dont care bc dohye is currently getting assaulted nobody asked for this why i just. this is terrible. he was... so sweet. he doesnt deserve this. nobody does of course but jesus christ pls someone save him at least its not horny visually, one saving grace

ah... the assult is back to being depicted horny-ly thank you for nothing

[... removed some general confusion about the plot]

YES. SOME SHIP FOOD.

i am. suffering i mean i cant stop but GOD

okay so apparantly. the sister. has just an arsenal of people who look like other people Dohye, then Noah... and even Noah's GF??? this is ridiculous??

one good message

why

did you feel the need to add that [actual tired rage]

im gonna die this manwha is gonna kill me im laughing but im suffering oh hes arrested great and thats the end and the last update was in january of this year

why AS IN NOAH IS ARRESTED nobody who actually did anything is arrested What is this why is this AHHH I at least wanted the complete-ness of finishing this but now I'M JUST SUFFERING

[ mei: I MEAN TO BE FAIR I'D BE SUFFERING TOO BC JUST... WHAT THE FUCK I HAVE?? MANY QUESTIONS?? AND MANY CONCERNS BC THIS MANWHA IS JUST... AN EXPERIENCE ]

its an experience allright WELL

_______________

yup that’s it.

in my head, in a twist of events Dohye and Noah make up and are actual endgame. Something like that must exist out there but I won’t ask because it’d destroy the surprise and ruin the point.

That’s it.

Have a nice day.

#an innocent sin #dohye x noah #noah x dohye #long post #tori talks #tori has opinions #reactions #yes I do this often in our dms #poor mei #toriqueue

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