#i do not have the spoons

[tervaneula]

(This is an edit of the pic I drew for chapter 15)

Maybe in another universe? 😭 I wish NQK was this, but it's not, and I have no idea why I had to hurt myself (and Leonardo) like this. Oh my gohdfsjdvdhdhfjgj. Screams falls down on knees cries throws up etc

[sunlitmcgee]

i've been trying to be more constructive with debating people online as of late. but i need you all to understand, the latest debate i had was with someone commenting on my fic and victim blaming ctommy and then excusing it by saying they "subconsciously assumed" my hatred of ctechno was aimed at the cc and that they needed to rant in my comments to "show me" how it feels to see a character hated by saying awful shit about ctommy, and lord almighty i try to be strong but. yeah :")

[gatoburr0]

I HATE how this turned out WITH A PASSION.

[giantkillerjack]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

[gravityoflight]

[floccinaucinihilipilificationa]

Hey hey hey may 31th anon! How's 2024 going? ☆ヾ(*´▽｀)ﾉ This year I have for you a leaked Sherlock season 5 image. Thinking of you!! And everyone!!

[yuwuta]

you ask yuuta if he wants a bite of your food and when he says yes you offer your plate to him, but he’s just sat there looking at you with his dumb big bambi boy eyes and his mouth slightly open and he will not look away or blink or close his mouth until you lift your fork to his lips to feed him and then he grins like shit’s sweet and hums about how good the food is like nothing happened like he’s not ridiculously attractive. gonna chew on steel

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

oh right, technically i sell t-shirts

i forgot about that

[stealingyourbones]

Never will I stop with the steadfast notion that folks in the DPXDC fandom should interact with at least some form of canon DC media.

There are comics, tv shows, radio dramas both old and new, podcasts, movies, magazines, so much shit that intentionally avoiding the media is simply preventing yourself from spawning new ideas and gaining a new appreciation for a fandom that you’re already in.

The Superman Radio Show has episodes 11 minutes long. A lot of the TV shows don’t have episodes that surpass 30 minutes and most are nearly fully clipped on the official DC YouTube channel. The amount of fan made motion comics is astounding. The amount of fanmade animations is equally as incredible.

[decolonize-the-everything]

"All I'm asking is that you watch the whole video before you get mad, okay?"

source

[2boldlyqueer]

Listen, I know we're all exhausted, but we gotta get better about adding image descriptions to disability related stuff. Everyone should be IDing everything anyways, but there's a particularly cruel irony in disability related stuff not being accessible to folks with low/no vision.

[munequitta]

　 　　 　𝖸𝗈𝗎𝗋　 　ℬ𝖾𝗌𝗍　 　𝖠𝗆𝖾𝗋𝗂𝖼𝖺𝗇　 　𝖦𝗂𝗋𝗅.

[foldingfittedsheets]

Oh my god, poverty brain makes big purchases so freakin scary. I know I need a laptop. I will have tons of downtime at work and I can't cart my three monitor gaming PC into work on slow days. So I need a laptop. I had some help picking a really good one and it's gonna do the stuff I need. But it's still such a big chunk of money. *Sweats* I have done it. But it was hard.

Luckily it sounds like my accommodation is getting reviewed for real this time and I should have more freetime at the small store and on my days off to take commissions again! I can also resume working on my comics as I've got a tablet going spare that I can take with, so all that is very exciting.

[snazzyjazzyazzy]

My AUDHD ass: “Surely if I put my clean clothes on my bed I’ll remember to put them away before I sleep, right?”

Also my AUDHD ass: Moves the clothes to my computer chair and sleeps, moves the clothes back to bed when I’m awake

[somegrumpynerd]

Cross has trouble getting to sleep alone in his room and goes looking for a distraction, but ends up finding a solution for both of them

[spoonmoment119]

anyone who doesn't ship grumbo CLEARLY has never watched grian's season 6. he's insane. he'd do anything for mumbo.