#i do wish he talked to his dad more about everything but we'll get there eventually

[n0anix]

just realised that all ttrpg podcasts I'm listening to rn have a paladin that's struggling with figuring out who he really is

either because their path in life has changed, they realised they've been lied to their whole life or they just have amnesia and literally don't know who they really are/were

[fleurriee]

— protection duty ; neteyam sully

pairing ; neteyam sully x fem!pregnant reader

synopsis ; it had been a few months now since you found out you were pregnant, and the paranoia of your mate can either be sweet or... annoying.

word count ; 4.3k

themes ; fluff, slight angst???, established relationship (mates).

warnings ; reader experiencing abdominal pains, overbearing neteytam if that counts but we'll continue to love him anyway???

author’s note ; the entire time i was writing this i had baby fever... what do i need to do to get my own neteyam?? this is part of my dad!neteyam series, which you can find in my masterlist below!

previous part ; next part

dad!neteyam series masterlist main masterlist request a fic!

"Here, let me."

For almost the entire day, you had found yourself confound to the same surrounding walls of the Tsahik tent. The predicament of being pregnant - let alone with the heir to the Olo'eyktan of the Omitkaya clan - was something you definitely hadn't seen coming. Of course, you understood their worries, but when it started to become a constant reoccurrence, it seemed a little too much.

You absolutely appreciated every gesture the clan offered you - whether it was helping you walk across the way, helping you sit down, helping you collect your food. It was endearing, but sometimes, you wished you could go back to the girl you were before, the one who could do things for herself without the fear of being coddled.

Obviously you had regular check ups with Mo'at to ensure everything was going smoothly with both yourself and your baby. This mainly included instances where she would poke and prod against your body, keeping her ears close to hear anything particular, calling out signs from Ewya that spoke of a blessing.

Today, however, was different.

Stupidly, you had accidentally let slip that you had begun to feel slight aches around your stomach. There wasn't anything specific about these pains, either, which made them more difficult to hide - they could occur at any part of the day, no matter who you were with or what you were doing, and you could only discreetly wince so much until it was becoming too much to bear on your own.

A small part of you was relieved by your own slip up to the Tsahik - that way, you had someone to confide in, who you could talk your problems away to and would understand. You were too nervous to tell Neteyam, already knowing the exact reaction he'd have. It wasn't as though you could have asked for a better mate by your side as you slowly started to take this journey together, but he was extremely protective.

And, you could understand his protectiveness when it came to the two of you - this was your first child, the first time you would be experiencing this path, and thankfully, you were doing it together. But, when his hands wouldn't leave your figure, keeping his steps directly next to your own, you had to start biting back your snaps. You didn't want to fight with him, after all, this was his baby, too, but despite doing this together, the stress hanging upon your shoulders and aching against your lower back was becoming too much.

So, when you let slip of your pains to Mo'at, the protectiveness you had seen in Neteyam had slowly started to transfer to his grandmother, clear as day as to where both himself and his mother got such a trait from in the first place. In an instant, she was rushing over to your figure, hands pressing against your stomach to spot the signs that you couldn't even if you had tried. You could see it clear as day when her gaze lingered on your own - this was her grandson's first born child, and all she wanted was for her family to be happy.

Thankfully, nothing had been wrong. With a smile full of reassurance directed solely at you, Mo'at had ensured you that the pains were natural due to the position your child was laying in - they were putting more pressure against your back than normal, but it was nothing to worry about. Such a revelation had you feeling insanely relieved, hands resting gently against your stomach as you rubbed your fingers to and fro. Already your child was up to no good.

But, in the end, her worries won over, and she insisted that you spend the day with her, just to hold any precautions necessary. You had sighed in reluctance, not wanting to get in the way of the Tsahik with her day-to-day tasks, but one warning look was all it took for you to agree, albeit, grumbling under your breath.

It wasn't too long after that when Kiri entered the tent, ready to work alongside her grandmother. Upon spotting you, she gave you a questioning expression, one you just answered with a subtle shake of your head, insinuating you'd rather not get into it right then. She didn't mind, instantly beginning her training as you watched on.

That was how the day panned out for you - sitting comfortably with your legs crossed, hands resting on top of your stomach, secure, back finally getting the rest it was screaming out for as you leant against a table. Every now and again, you would share input based on the training you were receiving before having them put on hold due to falling pregnant. It was nice, calming.

It wasn't as though there was much else you could do, especially considering your condition. Neteyam was out all day - he had grumbled and hissed at his father for forcing him away from his mate when she needed him the most, but all it took was Jake insisting that he needed to provide for his family more so than ever before, meaning he had to go out and hunt with the rest of those responsible with such a task. Leave it to Neteyam to step up to a mighty, protective role - he'd do anything for the two of you, that much was obvious.

Towards the end of the day, you had received another visitor - Neytiri. Throughout your pregnancy so far, your mother-in-law had been nothing but kind, understanding, nurturing. You felt at peace when you were around Neytiri, the woman always ensuring you were happy and okay before asking any other questions. She knew first hand what it was like to go through what you were, especially as a figurehead to the entire clan, and she'd be damned if she were to let you crumble under the weight of it all.

Neytiri greeted both her mother and her daughter before making her way over to you, squatting down and asking how you were. The question bought you ease and solace, wrapped within the comforts of a fellow mother's warm embrace. She'd brought you some fruits, too, for your dinner that night, stating that not only were they deliciously beautiful, but that they had properties within them that could help ease any potential pains you may been feeling. For a split second, you panicked, wondering whether your winces hadn't been all that discreet in the end, and waiting for the inevitable scolding you'd receive for not seeking help immediately. Instead, she only continued to smile softly at you, placing the bowl down near you and subtly asking for permission to place her hands against your stomach.

This was something Neytiri loved to do - she said being close to a child still in the womb like this was comforting for both the mother and the baby, the both of them relishing in the embrace of knowing they were never alone, that they had a family - an entire clan - standing behind them, ready to receive them home. And, she was right, like she always is. Such a gesture caused you relaxation, the constraints dispersing within the seconds until it was like they were never there at all.

You had left not long after that, stating that you needed to get back home before Neteyam did to ensure he had some food waiting for him after a gruelling day of hunting. Before you could leave the tent, Mo'at had shot up from her position, gesturing you closer to her and doing something similar to what Neytiri had done earlier. Mo'at was breathing in deeply, eyes closed as she spoke to the will of Ewya. When the Tsahik did this, you couldn't help but worry for a short second that maybe something was wrong, but the pleasant smile etched into the elder Na'vi's lips forced all those thoughts away into oblivion.

Finally, you were on your way home, a small bowl of fruits in one hand and the other on top of your protruding stomach that was beginning its little renditions of rumbling. The sweet scent of the food just below you were invading your scenes, and you were sure you had never smelled anything sweeter, a pure smile of bliss painted upon your features.

That was when Neteyam came.

He was by your side in an instant, the warmth of his body radiating through to your own, hands moving subconsciously towards the bowl to take it from your own grasp. Looking over at him, it was clear as day he hadn't been to a healing tent like they were supposed to after every hunt, even if it was just to get checked out. Neteyam had no scratches on him, of course, but he was a little filthy, chest heaving with panting breaths, sweat beading upon the top of his head. He must've seen you on your way home.

"Neteyam," you chastised him, keeping the bowl tight in your hold. "I can carry it-"

"It's fine, yawne (beloved)," he replied, shaking his head, adamant. His gaze was piercing as he looked intently down at you, unrelenting in his actions - it was obvious he wasn't going to give in, not like you wanted him to. "I'll do it for you."

You grumbled to yourself, eyes rolling in disbelief at such a level of protectiveness emanating from your mate - you understood it sometimes, but this was ridiculous. "It is only a bowl of fruit."

With a playful shrug, he smirks, knowing he's starting to get on your nerves with the way he's acting, but clearly not caring enough to stop himself. There was nothing on both the world of Pandora and all the galaxies around that could stop him from treating you with the upmost care and compassion as a mate and father-to-be should. If anything were to happen to you, he'd never forgive himself, even if the perpetrator was a bowl of fruit. "And, what type of Na'vi would I be if I didn't help my pregnant mate?"

There's no chance to retaliate against him - in an instant, he's moving over to your tent, opening the flap of the entrance open with his arm as he gestures you to walk through. The sight of him sends shivers down your spine, your mind creating images of nights you'd spent intimately together - the way he was such a gentleman towards you, so caring and doting, had you practically frothing at the mouth. Not that he'd do anything with you now, though.

Shaking your head in mock displeasure, you walked into your tent, grumbling as you went, eyeing him with slight annoyance of him prohibiting you from practically everything. You loved him for it, of course you did, but no matter how annoyed you'd become at each overbearing action, the two of you knew he wasn't going to stop, so what was the point in arguing when it was only going to be a losing battle?

Moving further into your tent, you walk around the middle where a small table had been both built and set up by Neteyam just after you moved in. It was ritual that you always ate together there, sharing stories of your day and wondering what the next one would bring. It always brought you sadness when Neteyam couldn't make it - there had been several times since moving in together that he had to go out on a hunting trip for days, but his family were always sure to invite you to their meal, not wanting you to be alone.

Standing in your usual spot, you watched in your peripheral as Neteyam started to tie the entrance closed, wanting the two of you to have as much privacy and time to be your true selves together. You started to bend your knees, arms preparing to catch your weighted figure on the way down when another sharp pain pierced right against your abdomen, sending jolting sensations right to the bottom of your toes. An agonizing hiss escaped past your lips before you could remember to stop yourself, too busy focusing on the pain bearing down on you, knees wobbling as you struggled to hold yourself up right.

Immediately, Neteyam was by your side, bowl shoved to the floor carelessly, its contents spilling about the place. His protective side washed over him, glazing him over in a red light until all he was doing was panicking. He took note of your scrunched up features, the way your brows furrowed, eyes wrenched shut, legs unsteady. Gently, but with a rush of urgency, he placed one hand to the back of your neck, willing your head to look up at him, to focus on him, and the other on top of your plump stomach, fondly caressing the skin with his thumb. "What is it - what's wrong, yawne (beloved)?"

You give yourself a minute to catch your breath, shaking your head and willing yourself back to the present, mind relentlessly reminding yourself that it's okay, Mo'at said it's fine. Still, you don't move, staying in his arms that brought you such a strong feeling of safety. "It is nothing, my muntxa (mate), just a bit of pain." You swallow deeply, the pain beginning to subside. "Your grandmother said it is normal." Looking up at him, you instantly recognised both the hesitance and concern rooted deeply within his gaze, eyes slightly crinkled and a crease between his brows. It didn't matter how many times you told him the same thing now, he'd be by your side constantly. "It's okay, ma'teyam. Let me just-"

You attempted to unwind yourself from his arms, going to try and sit down again so you could start the meal that should have been completed ages ago now. But, Neteyam wouldn't let you, noticing exactly what you were doing and not allowing it. Whilst his grip on your delicate figure tightened just a little, he shook his head vehemently. "No, no. I will do our food tonight, muntxate (wife)."

Guilt started to cleave away at your mind - Neteyam had surely had a long day, no doubt only wanting to be home and within your arms, surrounding by his own growing family, appetite full from a meal you had made. Yet, here he was, insisting he make the food for the two of you - well, three of you - despite the tiredness clearly shown on his features. "Neteyam, really-" you sighed.

"Please, my syulang (flower)." He begged, the desperation evident in his tone of voice, and it only ached your heart more. The soft sensation of his thumb continuously rubbing against your stomach paired along with the compassion in his gaze, never once faltering from your own, already had you agreeing with him. "Let me do this for you." His voice was soft, words spoken tenderly, like speaking any louder might've hurt you or the baby.

With his head resting gently upon your own, you felt yourself beginning to fall down the path that was only filled with him. How could you say no to such a request when he was desperate to provide for you, wanting to be the head of his own family that he couldn't wait to watch grow with you by his side?

You nod, causing a slow but bright smile to be casted upon his lips. His hands don't move from your body, instead making their way around your figure until he has you turned around, situated in front of him and guiding you over to the mat the two of you share. Actions considerate of the potential pain you could still be in, he starts to help you lower yourself down, one hand against the small of your back, and the other not having once moved from your stomach, from your baby. His touch was as though he was protecting them from the world, from anything daring enough to threaten them - Ewya help whoever would when they cross Neteyam.

Placed gently upon your mat, comfortably in the same position you continue to find yourself in - legs crossed over one another and arms wrapped around the entirety of your stomach - your mate stood above you, looking down at you lovingly. Sending you a warm smile, he placed a lingering kiss to the top of your head, before eventually parting and moving back over to the bowl of discarded fruit.

You watch him as he works, preparing his family's dinner, hands moving deftly about the table's surface. He made sure to give you a bigger portion now that you were technically eating for two, adding in the fruits he instantly knows were from his mother after having seeing them all the time when growing up. Every now and again, he'll aim his attention back over to you, no doubt checking on you and making sure you're comfortable and okay, only to find your eyes automatically following his every move. He chuckles to himself, his tail twitching at the way he can gain such a loving reaction from you, willing his attention back to his task.

You just can't help yourself when he looks like that - the way the domesticity oozes from him so deliciously only has you buzzing with excitement. Just the thought of what he'll be like when the baby eventually does arrive causes your flesh to rise, your heart fluttering widely. If you'd have known he could only get more attractive during a time like this, you might've given yourself more warning - then again, you knew nothing could really prepare you for the man before you.

Before you know it, Neteyam is up and making his way over to you, gently cupping your portion of food and handing it over to you. Hurriedly, he goes back for his own, settling himself down beside you, knees touching and warmth excruciating. You smile widely at him at the way he's treating you, slowly beginning to come to terms with his protectiveness - as he said, it's his job as both your mate and the soon-to-be father of the family. Bringing the food up to your mouth, you take a small bite, relishing in the tastes it exudes, loving the mixture Neteyam had made just for you.

A moan of delight falls from your lips, eyes peeling back open to fall upon him, attention already locked on you. "Thank you, ma'teyam."

He smiles warmly back at you, savouring the way you look at him. Happiness washes over him that you enjoyed the meal he rushed for you, only now hoping that his baby enjoyed some of it, too. Nodding, you watch as some of braids fall into his face. "Of course, my muntxate (wife). I'll always take care of my girls."

Such words have you raising your eyes, pointedly looking straight at him. You can feel your ears twitch as you process the exact thing he had just softly spoken to you. "Your girls?" you question, teasingly smiling, but unable to hide the pure adoration peeking through your façade. With a free hand, you start to rub against your stomach, part of you hoping against all odds that your unborn baby could hear their parents. "Who says they are a girl, hmm?"

Shrugging, Neteyam takes another bite of his food, speaking with his mouth full. When he's outside, in front of the clan, he can't do things like this - he can't show off his childish side and be the Na'vi he feels he truly is. He has to put on a front, but not with you - never with you. Allowing him to show himself off like this, has only ever made him love you more. "Father's intuition."

You laugh loudly at his reasoning. "Father's intuition?" you repeat, shaking your head at him. "And, what about the mother's intuition?"

The teasing between you only continues to go back and forth, a smile full of adoration playing on his lips. Shaking his head, he leans closer to you, voice quiet but tender. "I know I'm not normally right about these things," he begins, giddiness starting to wash over you as you watch his every move, "but, this I definitely am."

Heart warm and mushy, your mind begins to show you quick images of a future that could be waiting for you - Neteyam swinging your unborn daughter in the air, her little, high-pitched giggles loud within the clan; Neteyam walking around with her all day, showing off everything her sempu (father) does to help provide and feeling proud when she shows interest; Neteyam wanting to teach her absolutely everything, wishing her to be fierce and independent, but not so much so she was unsafe or didn't feel the need to confide with her parents.

You can't help but look up at him like he's the one who hung all the stars in the sky, like he was the embodiment of Ewya herself.

Eyes still penetrating him, mind still hazy with beautiful images, you bite your lip, unable to hide the growing smile that's evident of the way he speaks about your family. "I guess a girl does sound nice."

Breathlessly laughing, he finishes off his portion, gesturing for you to each as much of yours as you could - he knew sometimes, despite always ensuring you gave yourself a larger portion, that you struggled to finish a full meal. When you ate all you wanted, he took the discarded leftovers, placing them in the bowl his mother sent and leaving it on the side. Now back with you, you look up at him, wondering what his plan is to do next. You can't say you're entirely surprised when he bends low beside you, picking you up in his arms and beginning to lay you back against the mat with care, assuring that you weren't in any pain.

Since moving in together and decorating your tent exactly how the two of you loved it, making sure it felt exactly like home, Neteyam had insisted that he would be the one to sleep on the outside of the mat, leaving you encased between your mate's body and the side of the tent. You never had any disagreements with his arrangements, but you'd asked him why out of curiosity, with him explaining that if anything were to happen, he could protect you before they could threaten you. You remember feeling giddy at his confession at the time, and now that you were pregnant, that had only reached ten-fold.

You lay on your back, waiting for Neteyam to make himself comfortable beside you; one arm placed under your head, acting as a pillow, and the other situated right where it always found itself - upon your stomach. His hand moved almost subconsciously, rubbing soothingly against your skin, drawing patterns and wondering if his baby could tell he was near.

Like a routine now, Neteyam doesn't allow himself even a single moment to think about falling asleep, no matter how tired he is or how much he wishes to float away, dreaming of you and your baby. Instead, he lifts himself forward, resting his head just inches away your stomach, and speaks softly, whispering the words into your skin so they can hear every word he has to say to them. "I love you, ma'evenge (my girl). Goodnight, and make sure to be kind to your mother so she can get some good rest, too."

Chuckling at his words, Neteyam lies back down, situating himself right by your side, snuggling in closer to you. He cups his hand against your cheek, bringing you in for a loving kiss, one that had you feeling a tingle of excitement.

Pulling away from you, your mate stares intently into your eyes. "Promise me you will tell me when you feel pain like that again."

You melt into his embrace, head snuggling into the palm of hand, sighing in defeat. "Neteyam," you relent, bringing your own hand up to run up and down his chest in smoothing patterns, attempting to calm his worries. "Your grandmother - the Tsahik - said it is perfectly normal to get them every now and again when-"

Neteyam shakes his head, refusing. His eyes are narrowed, adamant. "No, I do not care if they are normal, for whatever reason." His words have you stumped, watching him without breaking away from his gaze. "I need to know what you are feeling, and I need to help you through it." Blinking, you can feel a build-up of tears at the way he speaks to you, so caring, so devoting. "As your muntxa (mate), and as a sempu (father)."

You can't help but feel bad for having put him in this situation in the first place - you know now, with how achingly clear it is, that telling Neteyam of your growing pains was always what you should've done to begin with. It didn't matter how protective he got over the two of you, because his intentions were always clear - to keep you safe and healthy. For you to have denied that of him was wrong.

Licking your lips, you breathe in relief, looking up at him tenderly, eyes alight. "Okay, ma'teyam," you relent, "I will - I promise."

Leaning up slightly, you press a feather-light kiss along his jaw, feeling him starting to relax from beneath your touch. You pull away and spot the tiredness beginning to take over him entirely, so you snuggle in closer to him, your head nestling into the crook of his neck and allowing him was to engulf you whole. His tail moves against you, wrapping itself from around Neteyam and coiling over your bulging stomach, body subconsciously feeling the need to protect his mate and baby.

With a sigh of relief, the two of you allow sleep to invade your senses, slipping off into a world of pure bliss that you can only hope will be a part of your futures.

taglist ;

@monahiiii @bakugouswaif @andraga12 @draiochtwrites

[midwesternvibes]

Alright people, it's time for more Villain Leo lore!!!

Today we are diving into Leo and Splinter's relationship!!!

Read under the cut because this got so LONG, these two have so many issues and there was so much to work with.

Alright, so it's no secret that Leo and Splinter have a....less than ideal relationship. You can see throughout all of TMNT history that Leo looks up to Splinter an insane amount, and Rise Leo is no different.

This boy looked up to Lou Jitsu his whole life, and we can often see him doing the same movements and catchphrases that Lou did. Granted, all the boys do, but Leo seems particularly attached to Lou

And we've all seen the smile comparisons, it's insane how similar his grandiose smile is to Lou Jistu's.

The point is, Leo really looks up to his dad, and we can see this in his actions and attitudes towards not only Lou Jitsu, but also Splinter in canon.

"Trust me pops!"

I mean, just look at how happy he is to be there with his dad, in his element. This episode is Leo at his peak, outsmarting everyone and predicting his family's moments to the letter.

Also, idk about you, but that smile seems incredibly genuine. That's not even a Lou Jitsu smile, that's a 100% Hamato Leonardo smile at his dad whom he looks up to so much.

And what does Splinter say to his son's ask for trust?

"I knew I should have brought Purple!"

....what.

That is his SON. His 14, maybe 15 year old son, who is asking for his father to trust him.

....and he responds by saying that he wishes he had brought his more intelligent twin brother instead, who he has already shown an implied favoritism towards in the past

"And I thought Purple was the funny one!"

"Told you guys I was the funniest."

This is a pretty harmless comment tbh, but Leo takes so much pride in his quips, one-liners and puns that this had to sting a little bit.

There's such a huge amount of content to sift through when it comes to these two, and that fact actually saddens me because I had SO MUCH to pick from when making this post, but here's some highlights.

One thing that I noticed while watching a Splinter and Leo compilation is that during the memory episode, Leo is the only one Splinter directly hits

NONE of the other three were directly hit like this is any point in the episode and yeah, this could totally be played off as a bit or just a case of wrong place, wrong time, but we'll get to my theory later, right now I'm just laying out the facts.

An important detail I'd like to point out here too is Leo's face after the first hit.

Guys, he looks HURT. Donnie and Raph are looking at him, checking that he's okay, but he is looking right past them at the shadow Splinter, who is dressed and looks just like his childhood idol, who just hit him specifically right in the face.

Not only his idol even. No, the most pure and unfiltered representation of his father, the man who's raised him his whole life.

And he just got hit in the face.

Ouch. For a kid as emotive as Leo (who I honestly think feels his emotions even more intensely than Mikey when he lets them out), this is a devastating blow. Literally.

Then, let's talk about this scene, you all knew it was coming.

"Can someone tell my son I am NOT TALKING TO HIM!!"

"You got this pops! I love you!"

Guys this scene hurts my heart. Like, once again, he can't be older than 15 at this point. Yeah he's being a badass stratigiser this whole episode, but you cannot convince me that he wasn't at least a little excited to see his dad, his HERO in action, and wearing a matching outfit as well, and show his dad, his idol and hero, exactly what he's capable of. Leo absolutely worships the ground Splinter walks on and what does his father have to say to his son"s encouragement??

"NO!"

GAHHHH like yes, Leo was kinda being a little shit this whole episode and could have clued his dad in on the plan a little bit, but honestly that could have ruined everything if Splinter had any holdbacks.

Not to mention, this is the only Leo and Splinter episode we get. Donnie gets the derby, Mikey gets the Hidden City bonding, even Raph gets the ending of the memory episode, and in each, they have a genuine moment of bonding with Splinter.

Splinter never ONCE apologized for his actions in this episode. Not once. RAPH is the one who tells Leo in this episode later on that he trusts Leo, something he's been begging Splinter for the entire time.

All of a sudden, this moment doesn't seem so out of place.....

"I love you soooo much!" "No, no you don't, I'm your least favorite!!"

This line could totally just be a throwaway line, but as it was pointed out to me by the wonderful @nardos-primetime, the alarms that the boys did for Google home have a REALLY upsetting one for Leo

Go to about 1:57 and listen to that one and just......cry.

NOW that line in "Rat Flu" makes a LOT more sense. Splinter LAUGHED at Leo when he asked if he was his favorite. LAUGHED at him.

But wait, you may ask. What about the ending? Splinter made Leo the leader, obviously he trusts him!

....yeah, just take a look at their faces here.

Donnie and Mikey are basically horrified beyond belief and in complete shock

Raph is.....blue screening, honestly

And Leo looks completely taken aback and shocked and scared and honestly, I don't blame him. There is absolutely NO precedence for Splinter to do this. He has proved time and time again that he does NOT trust Leo, he never ONCE tells Leo that he trusts him even though he asks for that trust during the entirety of "Unhappy Returns". NONE of them look happy about this new change.

You could see this as Splinter finally giving Leo a chance, but I see this a lot more as one of the more popular Fandom interpretations of Splinter wanting to give Raph a break. Raph had a huge breakdown during the finale and I don't think it's unreasonable for Splinter to have heard of that and decide that his beloved eldest needed a chance to recover.

Who better to pass this burden on to than his least favorite son!

We also see in the movie that this shift in power dynamics really doesn't do much other than create a lot of interpersonal conflict between Leo and Raph, something Splinter does absolutely nothing to help out with, other than telling them to quiet down.

Now that we have all of our evidence (and I put more work into getting evidence for this than for the English project I'm supposed to be doing right now can I just cite this as a source for me being capable of gathering evidence???) we can actually get into the analysis of how this all would affect him.

First of all, I mentioned that I would discuss the repercussions of the memory episode. This analysis is more for Splinter, but I feel like it's still important. We've seen time and time again that Leo is very similar to how Splinter was as a young teen in both looks and attitude. If Splinter truly resents his younger self and how he acted, it would make a lot of sense for him to also subconsciously resent his son who acts a lot like himself at that age. This would cause him to lash out at Leo in his subconscious, the one place where his true thoughts and feelings are on full display.

I just wanna point out his face again here, Leo looks so hurt. He definitely already knows that he's not anywhere near Splinter's favorites at this point, but it still hurts him to see that get confirmed.

This brings me to my next point of Leo's psyche. He is a very confident, witty, smart teenager, but he's still just that. A teenager. He's anxious, insecure, and very self-reliant. He looks to others for praise often and rarely receives it, usually having to hype himself up. His relationship with Splinter only emphasizes these qualities about him and makes Leo look so much worse in Splinter's eyes because his son is just a modern-day representation of his past self.

Now let's put this into perspective of Leo's decent into villainy.

If Leo is hurting and under the impression that his brothers are maybe starting to dislike him, even hate him, adding Splinter on to this can only make it worse.

Maybe he goes to his dad for tips on how to lead when he feels like he can't talk to Raph anymore and needs his father's advice.

Maybe he sets up a dinner for him and Splinter to just chat and bond instead of sitting at the dinner table with another one of Mikey's meals that he feels too sick with anxiety from his little brother's disappointed looks to eat.

Maybe he goes to his father crying from another nightmare after not feeling welcomed in Donnie's lab anymore after they fought for an hour the day before.

And maybe, just maybe, Splinter waves him off every time.

Forgets.

Laughs at him.

I mean, this is a kid who relys on others to build him up, to praise him and love him because after all....

Who is he without his family?

Maybe it's time to find out.

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Link to an AMAZING ficlet by the FANTASTIC @beetleviolet

[jackhues]

you can miss it - mockingbird! au (platonic! hughes)

requested by: @rowdyhughesy

summary: in which y/n wonders what life could've been like if her parents were better

notes: continue sending in requests for the au! check out the request rules below! thanks for requesting <3, this takes place in may/june. 2024

likes are good, reblogs are better &lt;3

mockingbird! au request rules!|| mockingbird au! masterlist

gif not mine

"how about your aunt from colarado?" you asked, going down the list of random hughes members you'd heard of.

"which aunt?" jack responded.

"the one that gifted ellen that green vase," you reminded him. "are we inviting her to the wedding?"

jack thought about it, "i mean, we can invite her. i don't think she'll come honestly. she's like my mom's something cousin, i can't remember."

"we'll at least invite her," you decided, jotting that down on the second list.

you and jack were sitting on the couch in the lake house, trying to get together the final guest list for your wedding. there were still a few months left, and most invites had even gone out. but with so few people coming from your side, there was still space for more of jack's relatives.

"do we have to invite her?" luke asked, sitting on the floor in front of the couch. "she's always complaining and telling me to cut my hair."

"it's her or aunt griselda," quinn told him, leafing through the invites. "take your pic."

luke made a face, "neither is better, but i'll take the green vase lady."

you and jack shivered, remembering 'aunt griselda'. she was just some random neighbour or something who called herself the boys 'aunt', and often pinched their ears. she was not fun.

"wait, do you guys even know the green vase lady's name?" you asked the boys.

luke looked at jack, who looked at quinn, who tilted his head in thought.

"honestly, i have no idea," he realized. "we've always just called her aunt, or that one from colorado."

"well, i guess we're not inviting her," jack took the list from your hands and crossed out 'colorado aunt'.

you sighed, wondering what it would be like to have so many relatives that you didn't even know their names.

after cutting contact with your dad, your mom decided she didn't want to talk to you either. you had a feeling your mom was left no choice by your dad, but sometimes you wished she'd pick you over him.

if you had a better relationship with either of them, then you'd have someone to walk you down the aisle.

you loved jack and his family, truly. they were everything you didn't have growing up. but sometimes, you just wished you could've had that feeling of love your whole life.

you wished that your dad cared about you, that your mom tried harder for you, that they both loved you and showed it.

you dreamed of them being present on this big day, with smiles on their faces and tears in their eyes. you dreamed of your dad warning your husband not to hurt you, but then hugging you both and saying he wouldn't trust anyone else with his daughter.

you dreamed to have an uncle who was going to drink more than he should and then flirt with his wife, you dreamed to have cousins who'd be dancing even after the music was off, you dreamed to have little kids who'd hide in your dress and ask you not to leave with your husband.

they were such small things, but it seemed to hit you that you weren't going to have these moments.

all because your parents failed you growing up.

jack nudged you softly, "what's on your mind?"

you looked up, snapping out of it. "nothing."

it wasn't anything. you'd chosen to give up contact, and they'd chosen to pretend you don't exist anymore. you'd accepted that, and you were okay with them not being in your life.

"y/n, you've been a part of this family for years now, and you're going to legally become a part of this one in only a few months," quinn looked up. "even if it's stupid, you can tell us what's on your mind. i assure you, jack and luke have stupider things on their mind at any given moment."

you smiled as luke threw a pillow at quinn, ducking quickly to avoid retaliation.

"i was just being emotional," you shrugged. "like, growing up, i always thought my mom and dad would be here, on my wedding day. i didn't expect much from them, but i imagined them being there and being happy for me. i guess i always dreamed of our relationship becoming better by that point. but now... it's not like i want all of the stress again. it wasn't healthy and i don't regret cutting them out. i just, sometimes i wish they were better parents."

your voice grew soft at the end, but you realized how much better you'd gotten at communicating. before meeting the hughes, you'd often bottled everything up. you never spoke your mind, and you were forced to keep your opinions to yourself.

but now, you were proud at how well you'd explained your rambly thought process to the boys. you wished you'd had the love of parents growing up, but you didn't want them back in your life right now.

quinn smiled a little, tapping your hand in comfort.

"just because they weren't good to you, doesn't mean you're not allowed to wish they had been," he said.

"you're allowed to miss them," jack assured you. "you can miss them, and not want them in your life because of everything they did. there's nothing wrong with that."

"we're always going to support you, y/n/n," luke promised. "whatever you want, whatever you feel. we're here."

you smiled, wiping the corners of your eyes. "you're all so sweet and mushy, you're making me cry. oh god, i'm going to end up ruining my makeup on my wedding day because of you three."

"there's still months until that," luke waved it off. "we'll be sure to be even more sweet and mushy and get all the tears out before the wedding day."

"god, i love you three idiots."

---

tags:

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[lone-wolf-nergiganos]

Anyways my idea was male reader is a student at ua and his father is really abusive and one day his sleeve comes up and aizawa sees it and asks to talk to him after class. And maybe he calls cps. Anyway sorry for asking so late. And could it be a one shot? (I’m so smart I used copy and paste!!)

Sure, request approved.

Aizawa X Abused! Student Male Reader

This morning wasn't the best morning for you, because you had to deal with your father, who is unfortunately abusive to you before going to school. You aren't the only target however, because your mother has to deal with the constant abuse your father inflicts upon you as well. She tried and still tries her best to get a divorce, but she is under the influence of your father's manipulation to the point where she can't do anything until the right moment.

You didn't talked about this long term situation to anyone, not even to your friends. You try so hard to pretend that you are living a good life, but deep down you just wish you could get out of the hell your father puts you and your mother in.

You were currently in your classroom while completing assignments for your teacher, Aizawa. You were sitting in the front row so it's easy for Aizawa to see what you are doing. You then began to notice that Aizawa is staring right at you, you were confused at first but you soon realized why he was staring at you. One of your sleeves were up, but that wasn't the only thing that worried you, it was the exposed bruises and scars from your father.

Aizawa quickly got up before walking up to you, you covered your bruised arm to hide it from him, but you knew it was too late at this point. "Y/N, do you want to talk about something?" Aizawa asked while whispering, you nodded while looking away.

After that you two walked out of the classroom before Aizawa asked you, "what happened to your arm Y/N?" You looked away before saying, "It's nothing Mr. Aizawa, I tripped while walking to school." He didn't believed this, "I know this isn't true Y/N, please be honest with me." You looked at him while trying to hold back your tears, "it's about my dad," you confessed.

"What about your dad?" Aizawa asked even more concerned, you continued to hold back your tears but couldn't hold back any longer. You mustered up all the courage to answer the question truthfully while crying profusely, "he's abusive, he's the reason why I have all of these bruises and scars on my arm!" You yelled while still crying, Aizawa hugged you tightly before saying, "don't worry Y/N, we'll put an end to this, I promise." You hugged him back before saying, "really?" "Yes Y/N, you don't deserve to have a father like that, you deserve a better one."

After he said that, you felt like all of the weight you've been carrying for most of your life has finally lifted. "Thanks for being honest with me Y/N, I promise I will help you get through this no matter what," Aizawa said. "Okay, thanks for helping me Mr. Aizawa," said while smiling slightly. After that you two went back in the classroom before it ended.

After getting done with school you walked back home only to see police cars in the front yard of your house, you were very confused at first but you realized why they were there. You saw your father being taken to one of the police cars while in handcuffs. After witnessing this scene, you felt free, free from the abuse that you thought would never end.

It didn't took long for you and your mother to finally press charges on him for everything he has done, and the divorce was easy and swift for your mother. Now the pitiful excuse of a father is finally behind bars and will remain there until he dies. Since then you thanked Aizawa for helping you get out of the seemingly neverending hell you've endured for too long.

Years had passed since then, and Aizawa and your mother even started dating before eventually getting married. He may not be your actual father, but he would always prove that he cares for you and your mother and would be there for you when times get hard.

[aectpen]

Warmth - heeseung x reader

m.list

pairing: lee heeseung x reader

genre: angst with happy ending

synopsis: you and heeseung see each other for the first time since you moved away and he became an idol

words: .9k

you took a stroll around the neighborhood you grew up in. you haven’t seen this familiar scenery in 5 years ever since you moved across the country. you remember that day like it was yesterday. you had come home from school exhausted, only to find your parents sat at the table with distressed expressions on their faces. turns out they had been quietly struggling with making ends meet. causing you all to have to move in with your grandparents on the countryside.

you felt tears welling up in your eyes, recalling the memories you made in this place. It made you feel like a kid again. even the air felt nostalgic. You could almost see your younger self running to the playground with your friends.

“yn? is that you?” you knew that voice from anywhere. it was lee heeseung’s mother.

lee heeseung, before he became a hot shot idol, was your very best friend. you two did everything together. your parents joked about you guys growing old together, that was just how inseparable you were. when you moved, you both were devastated, but promised to keep in touch. as the years went by, the communication became rare. it went from frequent calls and texts to calling and texting when big things happen to wishing each other happy birthday to complete silence. you haven't even texted him in almost 2 years.

“yes, its me. it’s so nice to see you!” you rushed over and gave her a warm hug. this woman acted as a second mother to you. she always treated you like the daughter she never had.

"you've grown up so well. your mother told me you've become pretty, but wow you are beautiful." she pinched your cheeks. "you have to join us for dinner. i won't take no as an answer."

you were hungry, and heeseung doesn't even live with them anymore, so this couldn't hurt.

dinner was running smoothly. his parents and brother created small talk involving recent news in our lives.

"i actually am moving back in the area with a friend for work."

"so, we'll definitely be seeing more from you, right?" his mom asked. "oh of course, i missed your food."

you were interrupted by the sound of the front door opening.

"i'm home!"

shit.

"heeseung, hurry, we have a surprise!" his dad shouted.

you absentmindedly straightened your clothes and stood up. you knew that Heeseung had quite the glow up himself. you love his group and frequently check up on what he is up to. even if your friendship grew stale, you always will feel the same about him.

feeling the same about him includes your secret decade long crush on him. you were the type to never, by any means, reveal that you had a crush on someone in fear of rejection. you painfully watched as he had girlfriends over the years and openly told you about his crushes.

heeseung’s reaction to you standing at the table was questionable to say the least. he had wide eyes but an unreadable expression on the rest of his face. his lips didn’t even twitch, making the situation very awkward as you held a half smile.

he didn’t say a word and sat down at the table. the air became unbearably thick. everyone silently eating, but you. you didn’t have an appetite anymore. before mentally preparing yourself, you apologized and said you have to get home to let your roommate in as she forgot her keys. a total lie.

you headed over to your childhood comfort place, the park. you sat on the swings and slowly swung back and forth. you didn't expect heeseung to run to you and hug you, but definitely didn't anticipate him ignoring you. it made you confused and feel like shit. you didn't do anything wrong. the both of you slowly cut communication, no one was at fault here, but time.

you heard a creek next to you and looked over to see heeseung on the other swing.

"i'm sorry."

you didn't respond for a while. "i understand. i'm sorry too." you understood that he may have felt overwhelmed by the nature of you meeting with him again.

"i just didn't know what to say. i didn't expect you to be there. i missed you." he continued swinging beside you.

"i know. your mom suggested i come over and i was kind of hesitant at the idea of seeing you that. i didn't know how i'd react." you stopped swinging and turned to face him. he looked comfortable in his oversized hoodie. you wanted so badly to just hug him. "i'm happy for you Heeseung. i'm glad you're living out your dream."

"i love you." he looked over at you, a singular tear gliding down his cheek, shining in the moonlight. this caught you off guard. he opened a floodgate of tears you held back for the years you have been apart. you got up from the swing and wrapped him in a hug, snuggling your face in the crook of his neck. "i love you too, heeseung."

the both of you pulled away, staring at each other wordlessly. he reached for your cheek and caressed it with the pad of his thumb. "you're so beautiful." the butterflies in your stomach were restless. You couldn't stop the grin from reaching your face. "you know, i've had a crush on you forever."

"yn, that would've been nice to know earlier than now." he laughed. oh how much she missed his smile.

his thumb still on your cheek, he slowly pulled you in for a kiss. the warmth you felt was unrivaled. your lips moved together as if they were meant to be. harmonious, and full of love.

you were definitely coming around more now.

[presidentheartbeat6]

The Temeraire Playlist...

Hi. Hello. I am here today to ramble on about the music I've got on my temeraire playlist.

My music taste is. Strange. Blame my dad.

GRAND NEW SPIN (GOLD CELESTE): Starting out strong with a song that reminds me of willzing. There are! A lot of these!!! On here. You have been forewarned.

Anyways I think this is from Tharkay's perspective. "A longing for things to begin" (Ok but pining Tharkay. methinks.) / "A place where truth is not a sin" (THEIR HOME!!!! POST CANON!!!!!!!!! yea guess what the truth part is I dare you. I'll give you a hint its their GAY LOVE)

MEDICINE (LOVING): Will Laurence.

"You felt for the words like the wings of a bird, riding the winds of a dark form you heard" (!!!!! TEMRER!!!!!!!!!) / "A voice speaking low, it said 'I swim the deep waters, dreams are my eyes, deeper than blue'" (this but.. Tharkay.. dreaming about blue eyes..)

And then the last few lines are. Laurence to Tharkay & Granby :,)

TWO FOR NERO (EVERYTHING EVERYTHING): Ok so I can't put an everything everything song and NOT talk about it. Fair warning I'm crazy insane about this song. Like wild. My blog name is actually based on the everything everything song called (you guessed it) president heartbeat.

Now this song. Starts out a little strange. You're like 'where are these guys going with this???' And then about halfway through. You get to. The Part. You'll see what I mean. Pllllss tell me what you think about this song I'm so curious if it's just a me thing or what.

Anyways... this song is soo. Will Laurence. But specifically it's Granby talking about him.

"We met inside a war zone" / "And you never tell me anything, you never tell me anything" (EARLY BOOKS LAURENCE POV, HIM & GRANBY WHEN HE'S STILL FIGURING OUT THE CORPS. HEAVY BREATHING.) / "I can't remember dates and times, and I'm sorry for the years I was a shipwreck boy" (Laurence POV amnesia arc. Yeha.) / "I'd rather dash myself up on the rocks, than see you waste away your day with clocks, in every corner of your parent's home" (amnesia arc granble POV gheaaauugh) / "And there's no world war coming in, all the reasons I've been worrying, just forget the parts you'll never need, all these things I'll tell you when you wake up" (SO FUCKED UP SO FUCKED UP SO FUCKED UP. hahahaha Point of View: Granby when his best friend loses all memory of him lol hahaha!!!!!!!! hahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!)

MAKE A CHIIIIIILD. AAA CHIIIILLDDDDD. AAAA FOOORREEEESTTTTT.

ok sorry I'm done. there are even MORE lyrics that relate to them in this song than the ones that I listed btw. some ODDLY specific ones too. I wish I could listen to this song for the first time again.

DRAGON EYES (ADRIANNE LENKER): no this is definitely not just on here cuz dragon is in the song name how dare you. anyways this song is sososoooo willzing.

Just think like ... tharkay's perspective..... "When the hot sand burns my feet, you have cool hands, you are sweet" / "As the coastline is shaped by the wind, as we make love and you're on my skin, you are changing me, you are changing me" / "I just want a place with you, I just want a place" (do I even need to say it?!!?? ok fine. their house. post canon.)

IN OUR BEDROOM AFTER THE WAR (STARS): dare I say Tharkay Laurence Granby friendship.........

"It's us, yes, we're back again, here to see you through, 'til the days end" (YEAH. YEAH. GRANBY AND THARKAY @ LAURENCE.) / "She's gone, she left before you woke, as you ate last night, neither of you spoke" (beautiful awkward early day willzing) / "And if you lost it all, and you lost it, well we'll still be there when your war is over" (AGAIN!!! THEM AT LAURENCE!!)

TO GO HOME (M. WARD): GRANBY & LITTLE>???>?>?>? finally a song NOT about Laurence. except this could probably still be about Laurence if u squint.

"Sailing on a sinking ship, into the sunset in day" (poor granble forced onto all those many. long. boat voyages LOL) / "To think I'll have to give it all up someday" (just thinking Abt how they'd never be able to get legally married and even if they do stay together how they'd live their lives in constant fear of being found out) / "And if I ever treated you mean, you know that it was only because, I'm sorry, I couldn't have you for my own"

IN THE AEROPLANE OVER THE SEA (NEUTRAL MILK HOTEL): Tharkay song :3

"What a beautiful face, I have found in this place, that is circling all 'round the sun" (Tharkay inner monologue whenever he sees Laurence) / "What a beautiful dream, that could flash on the screen in the blink of an eye and be gone from me" (the dangers of Laurence dying in the line of duty, etc, etc) "And one day we will die, and our ashes will fly from the aeroplane over the sea" (thinking about temeraire spreading their ashes lol lol lol I am laughing so hard rn hahahahaha. spreading them TOGETHER I might add. United even in death) "With one you loved so long ago, now he don't even know his name" (*whispers* amnesia laure- *gunshots*)

SIMULATION SWARM (BIG THIEF): Mmmm yum yum I love this song. It sort of gives me Granby & Laurence vibes.

"O my stars, winged creatures, gathering in silken height" (TEEEMMMERAIIRE! sorry I have to.) / "with the drone of fluorescence, flicker, fever, fill the form" (just thinking about Laurence watching over Granby one of the many times he's seriously injured. siiigh.) / "And you could be my brother, once again fall asleep with our backs against each other" / "I'd fly to you tomorrow, I'm not fighting in this war, I wanna drop my arms and take your arms and walk you to the shore"

TOUGH LOVE (FLYTE, LAURA MARLING): auhgguhgh more willzing feelings. just thinking about their adjustment period after fighting in the war where they're both trying to learn how to Be Normal about being in love. thisssss ssoonnggg gives me Tharkay POV vibes.

"I've been trying to hurt you, I've been holding you tight" (the ultimate paradox, pushing away those you love because you're afraid of it, and being so desperately in love you can't fully make yourself do it.) / "I've been learning to love you, am I doing it right?" / "How are you still breathing, with my hands all over your heart?" (I think that while Laurence is still eons from normal, once he comes to terms with it he's a lot... MORE normal about their romance than Tharkay. Laurence trusts him completely and it is. a little disturbing to Tharkay, perhaps)

THE SMOKE (THE SMILE): ohohohoho. this is a fucking PHENOMENAL song.

"It begs me, while I'm sleeping, I desire a second chance, I set myself on fire" (oh YEEESSSS post treason Laurence yum yum yum) / "Wakes me from my sleep, smoke wakes me from" (MUST I EVEN SAY IT. THARKAY RESCUE MOMENT.)

TRIPOLI (PINBACK): I'm too lazy to make an animatic. but if I WERE going to. it would probably be to this song.

"You know what's gonna happen, you know what's gonna happen, he's gonna go down, and he's gonna come back again" (Tharkay somehow miraculously returning to Laurence over and over and over again. soulmates. attracted to each other but also like LITERALLY physically attracted to each other in a magnet way. idk. SOMETHING.)

FORTRESS (PINBACK): THE EGG HUNTTTTTTT!!! HUNT FOR EGG!!!!! DESERT!!!!!!!!!! LAURENCE THARKAY GRANBY BONDING!!!!!!!!

"You and a test of will, too many fallen, too many failed, nobody move, nobody move" (EGG HUNT111 and. bunyips) / "You and I, uneasy, livid" (OOAUGHHQ!! I just think yk like. being stuck out their in the elements day in and day out. all those horrible conditions. and again, the fucking bunyips. so many stressors.... them all being anxious and snappy with each other... angst soooso good...) / "Stop, it's too late, I'm feeling frustrated, I see no sign of fortress, I see no fortress" (looking for water, looking for the egg, looking to catch a FUCKING break for once) / "Another delay, too many hassles, where do we go? How do we follow?"

WILD WEST (GREGORY AND THE HAWK): I love Gregory and the hawk ssoooososososoooooooooooo much. SSOOOSOSOSOOOOO MUCH. I have sooo many of her songs on my aubreyad playlist... yeehhaANYWAYS this song is. soo. Laurence coded.

"Flightless skies, the fear, the doom, it's no surprise" / "Realize there's no sense in losing your mind before your time, in order not to worry, you write the words down, but it's a fools game" (AMNESIA ARC AMNESIA ARC AMNESIA ARC) / "Rise young sun, you're a tireless one, and you'll be back burning when the morning comes" (LAURENCE LAURENCE LAURENCE)

GET NUMB TO IT! (FRIKO): hahhakjdshnjsh would it be mean to say. John Granby. poor baby darling.

"Tip toe out from the backdoor down to the basement, where your funny faces always made me frown" (sneaking into littles' room...) / "And when I'm down, I'll dance in a fever cold and calm, with a sewn on smile and feet swollen and numb" (poor guy :( the granble <3) / "And it doesn't get better, it just gets twice as bad" (JHBKJNKJNKJN. yeah. he literally Cannot Catch a Break bruh.)

OOKAYY!!!!! thank you for reading WOW congrats if you got all the way to the bottom :DDDDDDD listen to one of these songs and tell me when you think :)))!!!!!!

If anyone ever wants to talk music with me literally ever...... pls. I am so here.

[kurisus]

Chapter 108-2 thoughts

This was the most "IT'S SO OVER" "WE'RE SO BACK" chapter ever. Spoilers under the cut.

I am a leetol bit disappointed that Bishamon didn't really get to do anything this arc. She was unconscious for a majority of it, then woke up, went looking for Kazuma, and found him without like, needing to shake some people up. It is sweet how they finally got to have a proper conversation though. Their lack of communication has been a frustrating blind spot for both of them this entire story, so I'm glad they were able to come to peace with it.

I do wonder if Kazuma told her about being named by Yato, or if he dodged that fact, but I'm going to assume since we didn't get a live Bishamon reaction that he did tell her and she understood his reasoning.

"You are the only one who can save yourself" is kind of a strange statement out of context since this whole manga has been about overcoming trials with the help of the people who love you. But in context, Bishamon was saying that praying to a higher power is meaningless and individuals are the only ones capable of miracles. Kind of an atheistic message from a manga where a majority of the characters are Literal deities, but as an allegory for the world, I kinda dig it. Don't believe in miracles, make them happen with your own two hands and the people who love you.

Okay now I need to talk about Yukine this chapter. I Need To. His love for Hiyori and Yato had me pounding my fist on the ground. HE HELD HIYORI'S HAND. HE CLUNG TO YATO WHEN HE STARTED DISAPPEARING. HE DOESN'T WANT HIS DAD TO GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ADACHITOKA I AM JUST A GUY PLEASE HAVE MERCY ON MY FRAGILE HEART.

FATHER IS FINALLY DEAD SEND OUT THE CRABS. I'm glad his death was quiet and unceremonious, and not even Mizuchi was tempted by him.

It seems like the real Fujisaki was trying to say Father's name but couldn't quite recall it, so I'm thinking we'll get to hear it from Ebisu's mouth next chapter. Then again, we didn't get to hear Nana's real name either, so it may just stay as "ta" forever. Which is funny to think about as in like, "ta" for "bye." Bye bitch!

The pages of the trio + Nora all together and begging Hiyori to come back singlehandedly caused the most emotional damage. I know everyone else is freaking out about the Yatori CPR/kiss but I am just wishing the circumstances were more ideal for it. I will say it is pretty Kyoru of them to kiss while she's unconscious, though.

But, eh, her being alive was way more of a concern to me, so that was the reason I went ahead and read the official version early. I let out the BIGGEST sigh of relief when she woke up in the hospital.

Before I reflect more though, I wanted to say also I was pretty confused by Amaterasu's statement in the official translation, though fast-moon's helped clear it up. Hiyori didn't become a full shinki because she was named in the illusory dimension, and she was saved by the act of killing Father?

"You were carrying the ancient koto no ha with you as well" is the "you" referring to Father or Yato? Did Yato name Hiyori with the brush, or was she talking about Father having both on him?

Okay, so, reflections. Am I happy they temporary killed Hiyori? Still no. I would have preferred they damage her cord instead rather than way back when, when the wolves attacked her. Am I happy they brought her back? Obviously. It would be a bad ending if they left off on that, and I'm curious to see if/how much she'll remember in the final chapter.

Do I think Yato is dead? I sure hope not! This is also a death that would negate a whole lot of character development, and while I like the narrative parallel of her dying to save him so he dies to save her (esp considering how selfish he was at the start of the manga), I don't want Yukine to be left alone or with a baby Yato at the end of everything. I'm scared, because I think it's not off the table.

Am I happy with the ending? Remains to be seen, but while I have quibbles and hangups, it's not that much. It's not of the story-ruining variety for me, anymore. I kind of would have preferred a softer ending to the manga, for example. This entire story has had very high stakes for everyone involved, so they didn't need to up the ante with these constant main character death scares, imo. We were already quite deep in the shit. I also wish Hiyori had had more to do in the final arc before she saved the day by...dying.

But to say I didn't enjoy the journey of this arc would be a lie. It's been a long few years...almost 10 since I watched the anime, almost 9 since I read the manga, and mainly it'll be weird to say goodbye to this era of my life, and not have the monthly stress of chapters hanging over my head.

I was hoping Adachitoka would announce a new series, but it hasn't happened yet, and I'm not sure it will because they've been unable to commit to full chapters for a while now. Even before the hiatus in 2017, the chapters dropped from 45 pages to 40, and then we've been halfsies since 2018. Whatever caused Adachitoka to go on hiatus, it's been enough of an issue that they can't draw 45 pages on a monthly schedule anymore (and honestly, I don't blame them, as we all know mangaka schedules are brutal). Also, taking Alive into account, they've been drawing manga for 20 years. This might be their final story, or they might write another with an assistant. Either way, if they do something else, regardless of their role I'll definitely be checking it out!

So now that Hiyori has been undoomed from the narrative the wedding reread is back on. I'll be starting it soon here, all tagged with #Noragami reread and hopefully some of you will join me as well! Feel free to send me your thoughts on the chapter/the ending.

[rachelfoleyisntdead]

Thoughts on MK1

I'm going to try to go in chronological order, and I might miss something and make another post about it later but let's gooooo (obviously spoilers below).

I think the first half of the story is really good. Yes, it relies very heavily on tropes, but they serve the story well and work.

I love that Outworld is a matriarchal society and that Sindel is the ruling Empress, not the Emperor's consort. Not a huge fan that everything is also based on nepotism/everyone inheriting their position from their family. Apparently meritocracy does not exist in Outworld and I get the vibe that this is in fact by Liu Kang's design.

I don't like what a hypocrite Liu Kang is. He says everyone is 'free to choose peace' but literally all of the characters have had their lives manipulated in an attempt to force this 'peace'. But we're supposed to condemn anyone who doesn't like that. Yeah, honestly--Shang Tsung and Bi-Han are valid, I'll say it.

Which brings us to Bi-Han. Oh, Bi-Han. I really want to give him a cough drop, his throat must be so sore from gargling gravel all day (I say this lovingly). I actually don't hate Bi-Han's heel turn, I just think it needed more build up. It could've worked really well if we had spent more time with Bi-Han first. I'm probably going to make a longer post about this.

I do like the new Syzoth a lot… but he's a bit much. He's really on the edge of being a Wattpad OC with how tragic and pretty he is, his whole 'saddest boy in the world' thing. Immediately offering to just die made me cringe. But, you know, hopefully he'll have fun in Earthrealm with Ashrah and Kung Lao and chill out a bit.

Baraka's whole story slaps. It's easily the best part. It is tragic, but not overdone, it's over all really great. No complaints about that at all, I just wish there was more. But maybe we'll get a Baraka expansion where they do more about the Tarkat.

Ashrah is… not as good as she could be. I love her design, love her fighting style, love her story in general and LOVE that she's here. But uh… are we not gonna talk about how she thinks killing other demons to purify herself is fine? This feels like a bug when it should be a feature. I really want them to explore this, there's so much potential here. This will also be a longer post at some point.

Shang Tsung is that bitch. Love him. 11/10 SLAY FACTOR off the charts. NRS gave the people what they want. So glad he's our villain and not Kronika. God, that smirk. What a guy.

Megan's delivery is bad, but I don't think it's entirely her fault. People should've told her. And they shouldn't have given her a character that was so serious. She works very well with a sort of dry humor, they should've played to her strengths instead of… just letting that situation happen. Cut her some slack.

Why are Liu Kang/Kitana and Hanzo/Harumi being pushed as the 'tragic lovers separated in every timeline' when that's Bi-Han and Sareena??? Like. yeah. I'm biased. But Harumi was not even a character, and Liu Kang and Kitana were not tragically separated, they were together all the time??? They ruled the Netherrealm together??? I don't get it.

I really like how story mode acts as an origin story for some of the characters and you 'unlock' their powers. I also LOVE how they used it to tease new cosmetics.

Love it when they said the thing. "mortal kombat", "deadly alliance", "armageddon" yes yes yes.

Also loved when Johnny made call backs to the OG timelines, ie "the flesh pits". Johnny really is perfect for that.

Johnny and Kung Lao are perfect.

Kuai Liang and Tomas are such daddy's boys and I hate it for them. This will probably be expanded on in the Bi-Han post but shut. the fuck. up. about. your. dad. I hope Kuai Liang never becomes grand master. I'm so sorry Kuai Liang fans, but this version of him is NOT it.

Smoke using his power to levitate up the wall was unintentionally hilarious. Especially since he didn't use it to break his fall. Bro???

Everyone in the game kinda easy to lie to/convince, but this might be a feature. Liu Kang sorta 'raised' everyone to be guileless and kneecapped the development of anyone who might be manipulative. I'll let it pass but honestly, I don't think Liu Kang needed to provide 'proof' of anything.

The entire royal family needs to apologize to Li Mei right fucking now, I am so serious. They continually did her dirty when she was nothing but loyal, and questioned her even when she was saying shit Kitana already knew (that the thing with Earthrealm was a misunderstanding). Apology, or Li Mei enters her villain era. Fuck y'all.

Basically, Li Mei, Shang Tsung, Bi-Han and Baraka get to do whatever they want as far as I'm concerned. Everyone else, I'm keeping an eye on. Oh wait, no. Kung Lao can have rights too, bc he's hilarious. Yall stop sleeping on him.

Anyway, that's my takes, I'm sure I'll have more thoughts. Overall, story mode was actually great, and I think there's a lot they can build on for DLC or even course correct, so I'm excited to see where that goes. If yall want to know my thoughts on a specific plot point or character, feel free to hit up my asks, love to make long posts about this stuff.

[skullimangoarts]

Contains spoilers for the Fallout Show Season 1

Ok so I can't stop thinking about how the last song played in the season was literally such a perfect song... The choice of it is just. Absolutely perfect.

===================

"We three, we're all alone" Lucy - She, alone, chose to leave the vault in search for her father whilst the rest of the vault was to cowardly or searching for more answers. Maximus - He had a different attitude and respect for himself and others compared to the rest of the brotherhood, proven and shown by how he let Titus die and proceeded to make brash and bold decisions. The Ghoul - He lost his family, and even then he was stuck alone between supporting Vault tech and his wife, and completely disagreeing and tearing it all down...but he hated the idea of communism. "Living in a memory" Lucy - Memories of her mother, and what she thought her father was. Maximus - I think it has to do with how he originally saw the brotherhood when he was saved. The Ghoul - His family. The flashbacks he had. The memory of the man he once was. "My echo, my shadow, and me" Maximus - My Echo: He is an echo of what Lucy wants, what Rose wanted. He wants peace, and he will carry that hope and wish with him. The Ghoul - My Shadow: He is literally from the past, 200 years ago. He once was what Lucy is, and had what she wants now. But now he is a looming reminder of what Lucy will come to be. The world now. Lucy - And me: She is the main character, she is a vault dweller which some of the games start off with the player character being.

===================

"We three, we're not a crowd" They all are very different and do not share a past. They are from different factions and backgrounds entirely. However their stories are tied together despite their lack of direct connection. Even with the romance between Lucy and Max, I still believe the differences in lives and factions still create that divide. "We're not even company" The Ghoul is not friends with either. Lucy and Max do get along but even in the end do they get separated, causing there to be a lack of physical company. "My echo, my shadow, and me" - Referenced above

===================

"What good is the moonlight The silvery moonlight that shines above?" The doubt and despair that the waste land brings has made Lucy see things differently. She is less optimistic than in the beginning of the series. "I walk with my shadow" Lucy literally walks with The Ghoul for a long time, before she has a larger moment of realization. She realizes that no matter how kind the people of the waste land are, it is good to be cautious and suspicious. Because the waste land lacks the empathy that a vault has. "I talk with my echo" Lucy talks with Max a lot. The way they even got to know each other was talking. The two find comfort in each other's words and experiences. "But where is the one I love?" Lucy lost the love she had in her dad, she doesn't know how to feel or think about him now that she knows the truth. Everything she knew and trusted has been changed, in a way she has lost everything she loved.

===================

"We three, we'll wait for you" I'm unsure how this connects currently but I think that it may be that they are all waiting for what's coming next. What is going to happen. When they are going to find what they are looking for. "Even till eternity" The ghoul has spent 200 years looking for his family. He won't stop now. I believe that The other two, despite how they feel about ghouls, would become a ghoul if it meant reaching what they are seeking for. "My echo, my shadow, and me" - Referenced above

===================

"We three we're all alone. Seems like we're livin' in a memory." - Similar lines referenced above "That's my echo my shadow and me." If I remember correctly before this line plays it shows/references Maximus before panning to The Ghoul walking away, then to Lucy. "We three we ain't no crowd. Fact is we ain't even company. That's my echo my shadow and me. You know I been wonderin' what good is the moonlight that silvery moonlight that shines way, way up above? Yeah, I walk with my shadow, I talk with my echo, but where is that gal that I love?" - Similar lines referenced above "We three, we'll wait for you Even till eternity My echo, my shadow, and me" - Referenced above

===================

Overall, this song was an excellent choice for not only the overall story of the show, but also for wrapping up the season after the insanely well done events in episode 8.

I genuinely cannot wait for the next season and I am incredibly grateful that Jonathan Nolan chose to take the risk of making this show and I am even more grateful that Todd Howard agreed to let this show be produced.

[fireemblems24]

Azure Gleam Ch 9

More Azure Gleam to come. So far it's doing everything I wished AM did or had time for.

STORY

Oh, the title includes "Reunion." I'm guessing Dimitri and Edelgard talk again?

Curious how they'll handle this. Because if Dimitri does talk to her and it becomes clear he's after TWSITD, what does Edelgard do? Keep insisting on war or give up and team up with Dimitri against TWSITD? It's OOC for her to give up and let Rhea and the Kingdom live their lives, but prioritizing killing Dimitri and Rhea above even taking TWSITD down would be, eh, questionable on her end to put it lightly. Really curious to see how the writers deal with this.

The Empire is stalemating at Arianrhod. Shez is worried about supplies, but Dedue thinks they need to prepare more first.

Oh, look at that, Dimitri being smart. He plans on cutting off Edelgard's supply line. Since she only uses one, that's brilliant.

Shez thinks if Dimitri pulls this off, he wins the war.

So I'm betting the big enemy will switch from Edelgard to TWSITD. It would be cool for Edelgard to team up with Dimitri against TWSITD, but I doubt that'll happen. She'll probably die or go and join up with TWSITD or escape but the big focus will still be TWSITD and Edelgard a footnote on the way there, hence powering up the Empire after Dimitri would've otherwise taken them out.

Feels like this is going to end part 1, like how GW just ended.

Oh, Claude!? First time we've seen him in a while in AG. Oh, shit, is Claude going to bail out Edelgard for no real reason except writers said so? Because it would make no sense to help the Imperialists if he wants the Alliance to remain standing.

He's wondering what the Alliance will do, what's best for them and trying to predict who's going to win.

Oh, wow, I really expected AG to get the 1 battle deal this time, but nope. Good.

MAP/SIDE BATTLES

Lamo, Shez thinks one hundred Dimitris would wipe the floor with the Empire.

I got to compliment Dedue. Life complete.

Yuri sold Edelgard a tip about a secret passage. He saying some skeevy stuff about that count. I'm betting we'll recruit him this time. He doesn't seem to like Count Rowe's general dude lol.

Dimitri saying he's not good around children in the expedition dialogue is funny, since it's fairly cannon that they like him.

INGRID & RODRIGUE B SUPPORT

Aww, Ingrid got to return to Fraldarius territory and went down memory lane. Again, another support that reinforces how tied all the Faerghus team are together.

It struggles with having enough food too. I think it's the influx of refugees causing the shortages.

Cool details. There's new shops and good roads.

She finally faced it and wants to keep visiting it. Of course, Rodrigue says she should.

Haha, Ingrid ordered Glenn around. Not surprised.

And Rodrigue says it's ok to show weakness and not just worry about pushing forward. He's such a team dad. And very much in line with the themes in the Blue Lions.

ASHE & DEDUE B SUPPORT

Dedue made his own tea blend!!! Ok, Seteth officially has competition for #1 husbando in Fodlan now.

OFC he made it for Dimitri, lamo.

You would forever be second place to Dimitri with Dedue lol.

The tea reminds Ashe of some Lonato made.

And OFC it's a tea to calm nerves. He made it for Dimitri after all.

ASHE & DIMITRI B SUPPORT

Dimitri is checking on Ashe, esp with his role as a knight. Everyone's been nice to him, which is good, but Ashe is still unsure of himself.

Dimitri pretty much knighted everyone who's now his knights.

Ashe has a more romantic view of knighthood. Someone who's loyal to the king and protects their leader and their people.

Then Dimitri's like, naw, they're here to kill people. Loyalty is only there to control them.

Very in-character for both of them.

Dimitri's like go ahead and follow that code, but don't die for it. Now he's talking about Glenn. And how he wants Ashe to choose life over loyalty.

So THAT'S why Ashe defects. He's so miserable about it.

FUCKING FINALLY. All the points to Ashe. Glenn didn't die because Faerghus is toxic. He died because he wanted to protect his best friend. He argues that there's nothing wrong with that.

Ashe respects Dimitri so much. He's so wholesome.

DEDUE & PETRA B SUPPORT

More language learning lessons. She wants to learn the language to help Brigid diplomatically. It's too bad she can't get a teacher in-house.

Dedue is sorta doing the same for Duscur, though not royalty so not as much power.

Dimitri wants to make Duscur independent again. I'm so glad AG is paying more attention to Duscur.

Petra also realizes that Dedue is more than just Dimitri's bodyguard.

Giving these two a support was a brilliant idea.

DIMITRI & SYLVAIN B SUPPORT

Aww, Dimitri didn't want House Gautier's opinion, but Sylvain's. Their relationship is underrated.

Lamo, Dimitri is speaking with others about bringing commoners into the nobility. This game does a shit job justifying Edelgard's war if everyone is on their way to doing what she's killing them for not doing.

The main concern is lack of crests. And funny that it's Sylvain defending them and Dimitri saying it doesn't matter. The more you learn about Sylvain, the less sense he makes defecting to the Empire.

Lamo, the Kingdom is already discussing the possibility of getting rid of inheritance.

Sylvain only shows the political side of himself to Felix and Dimitri.

I love this support. Dimitri is just showing Sylvain with compliments and expressing how much he relies on Sylvain (which is very healthy for him to admit). Then Sylvain is admiring Dimitri back.

DIMITRI & FELIX B SUPPORT

My first Dimilix support in Hopes. It better be good.

Ah, starts with Felix calling Dimitri an idiot, these two are just so . . . I love them. One of the most complex relationships in all of Fire Emblem. And I live for it.

"Idiot, let me worry for you!!!" Is the most Dimilix(Felix) thing ever.

Felix has a mother, everyone. I think she got mentioned before, but power to her for actually existing!!!

Then Felix gets mad at Dimitri for worrying about him and not his own issues, It's the most Felix ever. And then Dimitri's like, oh, that's not possible.

Oh, no, now Dimitri is going off about revenge. And Felix isn't thrilled about it.

Oh, shit is getting real. Dimitri thinks Felix might hate him because he could do nothing when Glenn died and feels so guilty over it.

Felix "I don't hate you, ok." Haha, I love these two idiots.

Dimitri has such horrible survivor's guilt. He feels so guilty for surviving and that Glenn died protecting him. It makes me wonder what kind of hell his head went through when he thought Dedue died in Houses (or actually does die, including CF). That has to be like worst nightmare shit.

Felix is like, ugh, just eat!!

MAIN BATTLE

Shamir and Catherine! Together, as it should be.

Miklan is here too. Still not sure how to feel about this. Ohh, he's the one who cut ties?

He's starting to come around to liking working for the army though. Shamir called him out for having a bad attitude too lol.

Annette is so much shorter than the rest of the Blue Lions lol. She's standing next to Dedue. Who thought that was a good idea. They can barely fit into the same frame lamo.

So Persuade Shamir and Yuri are strategy options. I was confused until I saw Shamir was an allied general and Yuri an enemy one. Getting to both of them, obviously.

I'm guessing Miklain's death is unavoidable? Eh. Seems pointless to bring him back at all.

Isn't this were Ingrid died in SB? Worst moment in the game so far. 

Aha, cool! Cutscene time. And seems it's cannon here that Dimitri defeated Edelgard in combat. He just keeps racking up the badassery in this game. 

So glad Dimitri didn't just let her run. So annoying when heroes do that, except Thales is here to fuck things up. 

Wait, Edelgard FINALLY told him about Thales? Girl, you (maybe?) could've spared all of Fodlan a lot of pain if you just said that earlier. 

Dimitri just whipping the magic away. He's so cool in all of these cutscenes. 

Thales bullshit magic abilities ruining a potential team up. (Could they ever? She seems hellbent on taking over his country so . . .)

Oh, hey, hegemon. 

AG really is going to go there! TWSITD is really the big bad, not Edelgard. Don't misunderstand, Edelgard is the superior villain. But since Dimitri gets two stories, I'm glad one will focus on TWSITD and (hopefully) send Edelgard to the backseat. Bc him vs her again, what's the point? 

Aw, Shez saving Dimitri. These two have such a wholesome relationship. I really like it more than I expected too. 

Aww, this stuff with Shez and Dimitri just keeps piling up. Shez feels so worried about having the same powers, but Dimitri just doesn't care. Still trusts her. It's so sweet. 

I also love how Shez has some personal involvement in this route. It's kinda missing in the other two. 

Dimitri - "I alone-" Felix shuts that down, ofc. Good though. I'm glad seeing Ingrid and Annette speak up. It's obvious to remember how Felix and Dedue got their lives changed, but so glad they called back to what Ingrid and Annette dealt with too. 

Felix saying Dimitri's name so soft when he's hurt. My heart. 

Oh, Ferdinand's dad, Duke Aegir is now in control? What happened to Edelgard? (also, I sorta love how so many dads got whitewashed, but they went full evil with this guy still lamo). 

Is TWSITD controlling Edelgard? Lamo, that's one creative way to write her out of the story without letting her team up with Dimitri or choosing TWSITD over giving up conquest.  

(sorry for the weird formatting, some of this is copy and pasted)

xxxxx

[shadowgeist-stars]

There's something I wish we talked more about...

Everyone likes wondering about how the big "Lamiroir is actually Thalassa Gramarye and Trucy and Apollo are her kids" reveal would affect our oblivious pair of half-siblings. But I noticed that a grand total of NO ONE thinks about how certain other characters would also take the news. Mainly in Apollo's Khura'in family. (There will be SoJ spoilers below)

Let's start with an easy one. Datz.

He already knows Apollo (as "AJ"), and it looks like he meets Trucy when saving Apollo and Dhurke from the undersea cavern. Obviously a generally fun-loving fellow who I bet would happily call Trucy an honorary Defiant Dragon if he caught wind of her being Apollo's sister. Doubly so when remembering she managed to stow away in Edgeworth's luggage to reach Khura'in. (Rule-breakers need to stick together!) He'd probably also assign her some kind of nickname like TW or something, and consider himself her new uncle. He also seems like the only one crazy enough to willfully be Trucy's magic assistant/guinea pig, which would spare Apollo and Athena.

Then comes Rayfa, our dear crown princess.

While not as emotionally invested as her brother (and we'll get to him), it would be a surprise to learn that "Horn Head" has a little sister. And it just so happens to be the girl with the strange blue hat who was watching from the gallery during the trial that got Ga'ran deposed. While a bit upset that she never really got to talk to her back then, Rayfa would be fairly alright with seeing Trucy as a sister of some kind... and discuss with her the ways of pestering both of their brothers all in good fun.

Of course, Trucy would be over the moon to the mere idea of calling Rayfa her little sister, especially when she's a literal princess on the road to being queen. Their personalities could bounce off of each other surprisingly well, and maybe Trucy can help Rayfa swallow enough of her pride to actually call either of the boys "brother." And thanks to Phoenix's connections to Maya and Pearl, Trucy knows other spirit mediums who might be able to help Rayfa in her training.

And now we get to someone with a bit more... complicated stake in the matter, and honestly the meat and potatoes for this whole post: Nahyuta.

Being completely honest here, I think our dear Last Rites Prosecutor would take this news as a complete slap in the face. "Let it go and move on" mantra be damned, he'd basically be told "Hey, remember your first case against Apollo? With that magician girl you tried to get convicted for murder who turned out to have been framed? Yeah, she's actually your brother's sister, which also kinda makes her your sister by proxy. You unknowingly tried to get your own sister condemned for murder and quite possibly put on death row." (Since, y'know, capital punishment's still a thing in Ace Attorney L.A.)

Even if we almost never see our Not Guilty defendants hold a grudge against the prosecutors, Nahyuta's entire deal in Spirit of Justice was doing everything he possibly could to protect his baby sister and his mom, being unnecessarily harsh with the defense and the accused in the process. So finding out that he tried to condemn someone who could be considered part of his family on a false charge wouldn't be without consequence. (Turnabout Revolution only proved that because of his parents' direct involvement.)

Undoubtedly, he'd see fit to apologize to Trucy personally upon learning about her being Apollo's little sister, and would do so at his earliest convenience. But we can all be certain that she'd gladly accept him as another big brother regardless of any perceived "past transgressions." There would be hugs involved, I'm sure, and Nahyuta would be able to... possibly bring out the protective and caring big brother he was supposed to be from the very beginning.

Side note: Y'know this here lightning thing you see with Amara when she gets mad? And also Dhurke's dragon glare when he goes Mad Dad on Paul Atishon?

I get the feeling Nahyuta would inherit either or both of their little tricks to some extent when his big brother instinct REALLY kicks into high gear.

[baka-bakeneko]

Strangers - River Ward x Female! V

then you won't reply and we'll go back to strangers

tags: NSFW, Minors DNI, grief, so much grief, acceptance of death, portrayal of end-stages, did i mention grief, River loves V, death talk, mentions of death, pain, suffering, (how do I say this?) grief sex (?), more grief, angst ig (?) syn: River knows what comes next. wc: 2.1k a/n: hey. so like. my mental state is in the fumbly dumps so have this thing i churned out instead of sleeping.

River sat up the moment the mechanical shades unfurled, shining Night City sunlight into the room of your penthouse. You'd worked hard to get here, River acknowledged with a soft stretch before turning to look at you. You deserved to enjoy it.

He'd stopped counting the days you two had left. When you told him, approximately 48 days, 2 hours and 30 minutes ago that you weren't expecting to live long because of the relic in your head, River wanted nothing less than to spend as much as time he had left in your presence.

He reckoned he would follow in your wake, have to beg for the bit of attention you could spare, but you kept him in stride every step (even if he wished you didn't).

Now, he saw the locked position of your arm, your fingers twitching in the unwarranted fist you balled. You'd fought the long fight, keeping up with the deterioration, most days leaving you bedridden.

River eased his hand under yours, carefully prying your fingers from their tightened curl before pulling your afflicted hand to his cheek. He kissed the meat of your palm and returned your hand to the bed, letting you rest.

-

You stepped carefully down to the first floor where you smelled the artificial bacon River was cooking. Left foot forward, right foot following, the new way you had to walk since you'd lost the full function to operate a pattern.

You managed to reach the dining table, bracing your unclenched hand to the surface before catching your breath and easing yourself to sit down.

River looked over his shoulder at you.

"V, honey, I was going to bring breakfast to you," he offered, pushing at the slivers of soy meat on the pan.

You shook your head once, dropping your chin. "I needed the exercise. You can't put me away that easily."

River's jaw tightened visibly at your comment and you chuckled nervously in response. You sighed, readying to push yourself up again.

River caught on and set the spatula aside. He reached for the coffee brewer, grabbing the hot pot and your favorite mug from the dish rack. The way he moved, towards and away from you, grabbing everything he could even think of what you were about to waste energy on was enduring, like the lone worker bee in a closing hive.

You stared at the smorgasbord of amenities before you: freshly brewed coffee, fresh poured orange drink, toast, jelly, butter, knife for jelly and butter, a shot of vodka in case of spontaneous party, newspaper and remote for the large widescreen television just within eyesight.

Your eyes fumbled to look up at River, stood at the opposite end of the ostentatiously long table, and grinned softly at him. You offered your thanks, because there wasn't much more to give him at the moment than that.

River stood, hands bracing the table, staring at you. V, his beautiful and reckless little fighter bee. If he were cheesy enough, he'd call you his queen. No amount of time would truly constitute how he felt about you, but in his heart of hearts, he believed you were sent by higher spirits.

He was sure his parents would've loved you, so much grit to keep his dad on his toes but sweet enough for his mom to love you.

His eyes met yours, cloaking his gulp with a drop of his chin. He knew he wouldn't have you forever. And today seemed harder than the last 20 in a row.

"Can I get you anything else, babe?" He asked, shifting himself upright and wiping his hands on his apron. River wanted to make sure you were comfortable, content.

You shook your head once, halting your head carefully to not make yourself dizzy. Johnny was gone but the glitches never stopped. If you were careful enough, just as River was with you, you'd stop another seizure from happening.

The look in River's eyes was not of pity. You knew that. Even when you pried, bore into those eyes waiting for a single twinkle or opt shade to change, there wasn't a single fleck of sadness towards you.

His look was loving, easy. Careful, but not cautious. It was like he was handling you, his prized person, with special gloves like the criminals in heist movies using cotton to touch jewels.

"Bacon?" he offered, having moved from the end of the table back to his fixed place at the stove.

"Yeah," you drew out, balancing your weight on your hands and standing, despite everything River just brought to you.

"Val, w-what're you doing up?" River asked, his tone laced with concern. He dropped his spatula back to the counter and readied himself to rush to you, but waited as you held a hand up. "Whatever you need, I'll get it for you. I don't mind."

"I know, I know," you responded, still shuffling your left foot, right foot, in his direction.

When you made it up to him, your hands braced for his waist. Sturdy, balanced, while your head felt afloat from the short distance you made.

You curled your arms around his waist, held your ear to the middle of his chest while you selfishly took in all you could of River. You shut your eyes, hid a sniffle in his apron, and exhaled deeply when his large arms tightened over your frame.

He could almost circle his reach around you twice. It frightened him, his breath staggering softly in his nose. River steadied himself, wouldn't let you catch on how terrified he was to lose you. And he'd lose you.

-

River let you pick the television show, fixed you drinks and let you nap through his day at home. He'd previously been working on a case, one that was days away from a resolution, but he'd stepped back to spend every minute he could with you.

The thought continuously ran him ragged in his mind, making him wake up in the middle of the night and check your vitals. He was never too far when you showered, for fear of the last time he'd found you in there.

There were no heavy items requiring your lifting, no jars that needed twisting. He was keeping you safe. He was padding you.

You woke up in the afternoon, head on River's thigh, staring at a sandwich on the coffee table. The sight of it made you grimace, the thought of chewing nothing more than a chore.

With a slight shift, River jolted his head upright from lolling asleep. He looked down at you, noted the tiredness in your eyes.

"Hey," he soothed, his voice so low. "How was your nap?"

Your face cracked open with a yawn, blinking the tired tears built up in your eyes. "Fine. You?"

Your hand trembled against his stomach, carefully petting at his bare chest. He forced a soft smile on his lips.

"You didn't sleep well, did you?" he asked, his fingers slowly playing and sifting through your hair.

River took in the golden sun kiss across your face by way of the midday sun reflecting off of his truck's windshield through the window. Your lashes so full but sparkling with your tears.

"Nah," you responded truthfully, dropping your hand to squeeze his love handle. "But you didn't answer me."

River wouldn't. He'd been on edge falling asleep in your presence since the one time you stopped breathing in your sleep. He called Vik over as soon as he could, and the doc offered to give you a night respirator.

But you refused.

You told them both you were not going anywhere and there was no need for something that was a temporary fix.

You saw it closer, the darkening bags under his eyes. You felt that you were keeping River from something. That he'd be better off finding his happy ending with someone new.

But even when you tried to break up with him, River remained loyal. To the bone and grit.

It was inevitable, the tears, but you weren't happy that they'd come so soon. You ducked your face into River's stomach, willing yourself to get it together. Strong front, you were stubborn. You were courageous, you had stared Death in the face many times before now.

But Death never really had an audience with another man you loved. Not since Jack. And you'd been seeing a lot of Jackie lately, in your dreams.

Heaven, jaina, is swell. You better tell Misty all about this shit I'm telling you. Tell her I miss her. Call my mama, V.

You had done everything Jackie asked. Telling Misty about talking to him went exactly as you both expected. She was intrigued, but shocked. The fact that you could talk to Jackie meant that the veil was getting thinner.

You keep going, V. Not for me, okay? And not for yourself, not Vik or Takemura or whoever you think you need to coddle to, huh? Keep going for that stand-up hombre of yours. Wish I could've met him, he seems like what you needed.

"V, baby," River soothed, curling his body over yours while biting back his own tears to hug you. If you were going to cry now, he felt it was time for him to stop holding it in.

His restless nights were also dotted with calling his sister. He sat on the stairs, just within earshot of your snoring and shuddered over the receiver to Joss.

"I-I can't let her go," River whispered, his nose stinging.

"You don't have to," Joss offered, coaching his brother through some deep breathing to keep him from waking you. "You stay by her side, Riv."

River ran his hands over your back, ignoring the vertebrae felt just under your skin. His face contorted in your shoulder, biting back his tears while you sobbed against him.

You shifted upright and moved into River's lap, draping your arms around his neck while you shook in his hold. River ducked his face into your shoulder again, admiring you in his shirt he gave you. Your body was wilting away, leaving just the core of you behind.

What River truly loved.

He winced at your legs straddling his lap. The sudden movements of you gave him the irrational fear that you'd tear. You raised your head and stared down at him, sweeping your eyes over River's naturally irresistible face. You wanted to keep this memory of him as your last.

You wanted to recall every imperfection as perfect, to trace his scars from memory. If it were the last thing you'd do.

You kissed his top lip, feeling his hands level at your hips. River gulped again, his hands shaking from continuing.

He knew he wouldn't break you. He knew he couldn't tear you in half. River was aware of himself, his stature against your shrinking form.

Still, he held back. Your kiss at his top lip was not chased after, even as you tried again with the side of his mouth.

"R-River, please," you begged, though you didn't mean for your pitch to escape your lips in that manner.

They were dry, your voice cracked. River balled his fists on your hips before giving in to hold you. He pressed you gently into his chest, let your hearts connect while he shut his eyes and shuddered into you.

This one couldn't be helped, there were no more tears to hold back. He was breaking now. This time felt real.

River carefully picked you up in his arms, carried you upstairs to put you back in bed. He gave your kisses back, both just as soft.

He offered his own, kissing away from your lips and down your neck, lifting your shirt to reveal your naked body. River ignored his winces at the bruises on your hips, the outside of your knee, your once lively complexion now sullen.

He rested you on your back, allowed you to get comfortable while he shifted out of his pajamas to free himself. River worked up the courage to actually climb on top of you, slide into you.

He couldn't help his tears again, hiding them in the crook of your neck as he pumped. You folded your arm over his shoulders, held him close while you breathed heavily in his ear.

-

River still wouldn't sleep. Even after you did. He forgot about your lunch, was ready to retrieve it but you begged him to just lie there with you.

Hold you.

And he did. River held you, listened to your breathing as the sun slowly melted away in the Night City sky and gave way to the neon lights in the distance. He looked over at you to double check that you were okay, and you were blissfully unaware how beautiful you looked asleep on his chest.

He traced blindly along your back, holding onto the feeble warmth you gave off.

It'd be gone in the morning, he feared.

[regular-lord-reckoner]

back by unpopular demand it's...me!

hi :3

uh so as of yesterday it's apparently somehow been six months since my dad passed which feels........utterly bizarre.

it feels like it's been a month at most to me and my mom.

like logically, yes, we know that much time has passed, but on another level it just...doesn't feel like it can possibly be that long. at all.

i'm really trying this time to not rush myself through anything, especially grief. i think that's part of why i got so stuck last time, i pushed myself to try to get back to normal too soon instead of just feeling what i feel.

it's not to say i'm not trying to work through it all or anything, but for me at least this shit just takes time.

i had a breakdown the other morning over fucking toaster strudels of all things, but they reminded me of him. it's one of those things he'd sometimes get from the store when he'd go grocery shopping and he'd always be so excited to tell me about them.

"i got us something there in the freezer," he'd say whenever i'd wander into the kitchen at some point

i miss so many moments like that, just the little interactions we'd have throughout the day.

i know i got to a point of being so completely burned out beyond belief that i didn't want to talk to anyone ever at any time and i wish i hadn't now because we could have had more of those moments, but it is what it is, i guess.

i'm still going to therapy and still trying to work through everything. i was doing all this work on primarily my mental health before he passed and then that became the main focus naturally so I'm slowly getting back to work on that as well.

My therapist also gave me a book to read she said would help me with some of the feelings i'm struggling with as far as feeling like everything and everyone else around me has moved on but i'm still stuck and all that so i'll be diving in to that soon.

i was doing okay for a while there as far as taking care of myself goes, but i think as we've gotten closer to the six month mark and that realization just keeps washing over me over and over again i've just been diving into work and chores and of course taking some time to just fuck off from work (but that usually means i end up doing work until right before bedtime so i'm trying not to do that as much.......still going to do some, though, they can't stop me!!)

that's been burning me out a little i can tell. so i'm trying to back off of that and actually i'm finally at a point with all my stuff where i'm caught up so that's a relief. there was some shit that went down a little while back that i might explain later in another post at another time but it ended up with one of my managers having to apologize to me over and over again because basically i wasn't doing something i was supposed to be doing but no one thought to tell me that soooooo i was unknowingly causing a bit of a clusterfuck for a lot of people so that was fun!!

also in more fun news my mom had to go to a walk-in last weekend (not this most recent one, but the one before that) because she woke up with a lot of pain in one of her arms. naturally the concern was for something heart-related but she said she didn't think it was that but more like a pinched nerve, so they checked her out at the walk-in and seemed to at least agree it wasn't her heart so that was good.

on the downside, though, after a few more tests since then it apparently is her neck. there's a bulging disc there that's indeed pinching a nerve and she's pretty sure she even knows which one in specific is the problem because it's also causing numbness in one of her fingers

i hope it's not something she ends up having to get surgery on, but i also hate seeing her in pain like this. both of her sisters had this same problem and ended up having to be operated on to fix it, so my mom's got an appointment coming up to have someone look at the tests she's had done so far over and assess the situation and i guess we'll go from there.

she's been able to get a little relief from some pain medication and even a round of acupuncture but it's been pretty rough on her. crazy how you can just wake up one day and just bam, some bullshit is going on!!!

anyway, aside from all of that we're doing okay. just taking each day at a time and am still squeezing in all the self care that i can and trying to be good to myself (although i can definitely tell i need to drink more water, i dunno why that's always one of the first things to go when it's like, dude, this literally has almost killed you, please drink the water, it's literally sitting right next to you at all times!!)

but yeah, dunno if i'll be on here more consistently or not; i don't want to promise anything i'm not sure i can keep because who knows how i'll feel tomorrow or a week from now or another month, another six, who knows! but!!

if you're reading this i hope you're doing well.

i know no matter what your circumstance is right now things in general are incredibly difficult and i hope you're also taking time to take care of yourself when/if you can.

i hope something really, really amazing happens this week. some really good news. for everyone.

anyway, i'll go now before i get too sappy but just wanted to end on a lighter note and wish you well. thank you for taking the time to give me and my troubles a moment of your time. have a good week! :3

[k-slla]

A/N: Here's part 3! Hope you'll enjoy! All mistakes are mine and feedback is appreciated! ;)

Warnings: Language, mentions of alcohol, bit of fluff, little bit of angst

Previous chapter

Dividers by amazing @cafekitsune ❤️

Reader's POV

"Jody!" I called out as I got out of car in front of her house. She ran out of door to hug me. "Hi, how are you, dear?". Donna came outside behind her. "Oh, I'm sorry I didn't tell you, but I called Donna too, it's okay, right?"

"Of course it's okay! Hi, long time no see!" I smiled to Donna as I reached out to give her a hug too. They are both total sweethearts and like sisters to me. I feel like I can talk to them about absolutely everything.

I grabbed my bag and we went into house. "You know where to put your things, Y/N. " Jody said as she walked into kitchen. It had become tradition for us to share the room whenever we were having girls nights. After settling in, I went downstairs. They were already sitting at the table with wine glasses in front of them.

"Wow, you're quick!" I smiled as i sat down.

"Well, you looked like you needed it. We'll finish the first one then we're cooking! And then we'll put on some cheesy flick and gossip some more. How's that plan sound? " Jody asked us.

"Absolutely perfect." I said in sync with Donna and started laughing. There was a moment of silence between us.

"So, Y/N. Do I really have to ask or you want to start explaining why you left me a voicemail in the middle of the night, saying you need to talk?" They eyed me curiously.

"Hah, where to begin?" I laughed unhumorously.

"Well, I was in Maine for the last month and half, visiting family. And putting it simply, it was a total shitshow. My dad passed away and I couldn't stay for the funeral, because of my family. But I'm still happy, because I got to say goodbye to him and that's what matters to me the most. Then I got back and we had a movie night with the boys. And there was some alcohol involved."

"Aha, " Both women grinned knowingly. "And? What happened then?" Donna asked.

"I may have kissed a certain older Winchester. " I said and hid my face in my palms. "What?" They were surprised. I took a big sip of my wine. "How was it?" Jody asked.

"It was very very good, until he pushed me away and I ran out of there. God, that got embarrassing fast. I think I've really screwed up this time." I finished my glass and got up. "So, the rest will be for the evening. Let's get cooking, now that were all slightly tipsy, what do you say?"

Later in the evening, after having way too much fun in the kitchen, we were relaxing on the couch, some random romantic movie in the background.

"So what's news with you two?" I subtly tried to steer the conversation away from my previous confession.

"Nope, not gonna happen. We're still talking about you."

I just groaned. "Why'd you ran away from him?" Donna ask worriedly. "Because it was embarrassing! He doesn't feel the same, so I couldn't stay there longer. It's as simple as that."

"Oh, honey!" Jody hugged me. "Was the kiss just because of drinking or do you have real feelings for him?" I took a moment to think.

"I think I really am in love with Dean". I said quietly. This was the first time I said it out loud. Which made me more certain of the feelings for him.

"I'm just saying, as much as I've seen that boy with you, he's smitten." Donna chimed in. "Do you really think so? I just don't want to get my hopes up. I've been broken too many times, and I trust him with my life, but I'm not sure I would trust him with my heart." I sighed.

" Oh, I totally understand. He's got a reputation. But maybe you could talk to him. I know for a fact that Dean wishes nothing more than to settle down. But he never talks about it, because he thinks that "fate doesn't have it in store for him", you know?" Jody tried to console me.

"Yeah, I'll think about it. So, now that we're finished with my love life, let's talk about yours."

"Oh, I'm boring. Just working all the time." Donna said with a scoff.

"Sometimes I wonder if it's right time to start dating again, but then I hear all the horrible stories from my colleagues and think I'm too old for this already." Jody added. "Oh, what I wouldn't do to be back in my twenties." She continued daydreaming.

"Oh, come on, Jo! You're, what, like 38? Life's not over, you're still young." I gave her a slight hit on shoulder.

After staying for few days with Jo and Donna, I was finally ready to go home.

The whole ride back I was thinking of all the different possible outcomes. What if? What if he rejects me? I probably will get over it at some point. I'd have to. What if he doesn't and we give it a shot? Could we really get happy ending? I would hope so, but only time would tell. It was like broken record inside my head. And nerves were eating me up.

I found the boys in the library and with determination I walked through it, motioning Dean to follow me. "Dean, I need to talk with you please." I entered the kitchen and went to sit on the island in the middle. I breathed deeply in as I waited for him to follow. "Y/N, are you okay?" he asked as he walked through the kitchen warily. He stood in front of me with a glass of whiskey in his hands. "Perfect!" I said and took it from him to down it in one gulp. "I was gonna dri-..Nevermind." he said when he saw the empty glass.

I took a deep breath as I thought how to start. Better just get it all out.

"About that kiss the other day. I meant it. I want more. I'm in love with you, Dean." I looked into his eyes and blabbered on. "You don't have to say anything, I'm not expecting anything, I just needed to get this out." I kept my gaze on his and wished that I could hear what was going on in his mind. "Okay, actually please do say something." I said finally with a wry laugh.

"I - I do-.. fuck." he stammered. "Well, what I am trying to say is that you're a lot more courageous than me. " And closed the gap between to kiss me. I was on fucking cloud nine, smiling through kiss and all. It felt like a really cliche movie moment, but it is what it is. I melted into his touch and deepened the kiss.

"I'm in love with you too. Have been for a long time. I just never knew how to say it to you. " Dean said quietly, resting his forehead to mine. "Hey, what's wrong now?" He said worriedly as he turned my face upwards. I didn't even realize but I was crying now.

"What? Oh, I'm sorry." I said as I dried my face. "I guess I'm just overthinking everything again. I'm scared, you know? That something will happen now. When have two hunters ever got an happy ending?" I smiled at him.

"We'll take it one day at a time, we're both hunters and can keep each other safe, okay? We'll be okay." He smiled and pulled me into hug. "Will you stop running away from me now?" He asked. I laughed as I relaxed and let go of all the tension in my body.

"Yes, Dean, I'll stop running away from you." I answered and kissed him softly again.

After finding Kevin to translate the Demon tablet for us, so we could finally close the gates of hell forever, the months just flew past so quickly. After being so close to finally do it, we had to stop the trials to save Sammy's life. So here we were sitting next to Sam's bed with Dean. Neither of us had slept what felt like for days. Dean was sitting like a marble sculpture, not moving at all.

"He will get better soon. He has to." I whispered as I inched my chair closer to Dean's. I took his hands into mine and looked at him. "Dean, please, I'm begging you to go home and sleep for a few hours, and maybe take a shower. It'll help you get your head clearer."

"I can't, Y/N. I can't leave him here. It was supposed to be me. " I saw his eyes tearing up. "He's my baby brother. I was supposed to protect him. I cannot leave him now."

"Okay, this is it." I said as I climbed onto his lap. I took his face in my hands and turned him to face up to me. "Listen to me. Go home. You won't be any help if you'll pass out from exhaustion at one point. You need to sleep. I'll stay and in few hours we can change. There's nothing we can do right now. Please, go." I finally saw him break down his facade and pulled him into hug. "Okay, I'll go. Just to take a shower and get couple of hours sleep. If anything changes, call me immediately, okay." He finally said and we got up from his chair. I hugged him again. "I will, honey. Go now." he gave me a quick kiss before turning to leave.

I managed to take few short naps, just to quickly rest my eyes. Otherwise the hospital coffee was doing the rest. As I was walking into ward, I saw Castiel next to Sam. "Cas! Where have you been? We've been praying to you like crazy!" I couldn't believe my eyes. "Y/N, don't lose hope. He'll come out of this." Cas said and then he disappeared again. "What the fuck, Cas? What to you mean "don't lose hope"?" I called out to now empty room. "You son of a bitch!" I muttered as I collapsed to the ground. It felt like I've been sitting in front of Sam's bed for hours, before pulling out my phone and texting Dean.

Y/N: Hey, I didn't want to wake you but wanted to let you know that Cas was just here. Cryptic as ever.

Dean's POV

I collapsed to the bed as soon as I got to my room and blacked out completely. Woke up few hours later, rested, more or less, bus still feeling crappy. So I decided to hit the shower, maybe it would make me feel better.

Everything that's happened in the past few months has got me thinking. Us, human beings, being as fragile as we are, we never know, when we're going to meet our end. So I'm going to do what I've waited for a long time.

Tagged: @cevansbaby-dove

[ppeonppeonhan]

BL Shows - Currently Watching (May 2023)

> TUESDAY

Step by Step (up to ep. 5/12) -Thai workplace enemies to lovers romantic dramedy: Love Pat (employee). Tolerating Jeng (boss). Pat's friends -- his female mentor that everyone thought he was dating; his gorgeous female bff Ae; and his new gay work friend Chot -- are really carrying this series, because Jeng is acting like he just woke up on this planet and has yet to master human emotion. I NEED the reason he disappeared and returned to work be goodt! Otherwise, the mystery is for nothing. Comparatively, I could care less about Pat's ex Put, and wish they chose someone less...nerdy. There is nothing intimidating about him -- not with the zaddy energy Jeng is promising us/Pat. Jaab (above) is my other favorite character. Not because of his crush on someone who is unavailable, but because he's adorable and reminds me of Vegas from KinnPorsche. 🤷🏾‍♀️

> WEDNESDAY

Past-senger (up to ep. 9/12) - Thai time travel enemies to lovers classmates romantic dramedy: I'm going to wait to binge the rest of this cause the current memory loss obstacle is definitely going to annoy me. In general, I'm enjoying Cooper's character, Kiao, more than his character in My Engineer. He has good chemistry with Bamee, but I don't understand how this ends. Even if Kiao returns to his timeline, grows older, and reunites with Bamee in his timeline, we'll have to pretend a 20yr age difference doesn't matter. But I also wonder if this is really just a journey for Kiao to realize he's bi and in love with Bamee's dad, which if they get together, would mean Bamee and his annoying little brother Mudaeng aren't born...what are we doing? 🙃

Happy Merry Ending (up to ep. 6/8) - South Korean one-sided workplace romantic drama: Jae is very cute, and the way he takes care of Seung is admirable. Wearing sunglasses while they performed in solidarity was peak adorrrrable. Also love that they have unique jobs: wedding performers. I hope his former kpop trainer who CLEARLY uses his job to groom young, impressionable queer men -- that guy: I hope he gets hit by a bus. In general, I find this drama lacking in romantic substance. Not because there aren't a lot of romantic scenes but because the focus is on Seung's trauma and recovery, and not a mutual interest in each other.

> THURSDAY

Love Mate (up to ep. 5/8) - South Korean one-sided workplace romantic comedy: Ha Ram is cute AF. That does not condone his stalking or scheming, but it does make it hard to feel bad for Lee Jun, who is a salty bitch who takes out his frustrations on complete strangers who've done nothing to deserve it. I get that he's recovering from heartbreak and he has every right to protect his heart, but he needs to be a little less...callous about it. I'm not even talking about Ha Ram. That first dude he went on a date with got curved so hard for no reason. Anyway, he gave in a lot quicker than I thought he would, so I wonder what their obstacle will be. Ex returns? Miscommunication? Plot twist -- it was all an experiment to prove a point? 🤔

> FRIDAY

A Boss and a Babe (up to ep. 11/12) - Thai one-sided workplace romantic dramedy: I expected this was going to be as stupid as Cher is 🙄 the entire way through. Did not, however, expect there to be a clinical depression or child abuse storyline. Still recovering from that emotional whiplash. But I do enjoy Cher's dynamic with Gun, even though it's a very inappropriate boss and intern relationship. I wish they would've leaned into the goofy chaotic romance genre more instead of trying to get deep, but I'm going to need Gun and Drake's character, Time, to reconcile before this ends. Always love seeing him and Mike in everything. And Fluke and his character's bf are new favorites. It's a really solid supporting cast, all in all.