#i don’t get people!! this man is in your space being RUDE AS HELL. it’s open season!!

[fingertipsmp3]

I will never understand people who post tiktoks of them being mansplained to in the gym or someplace and they’re just nodding and smiling at the guy or being civil with him.. I’d end up being filmed by some bystander absolutely shrieking my head off as soon as the guy tells me I need to lose 50 pounds or that I’m doing the wrong workout

[coca-cola-fiend]

How I think the straw hats sleep when they have company (romantic or platonic)

Luffy

Wraps himself around you

You are NOT moving for a while

Snores, unless you prop him up right

Likes to cuddle, will whine if you say no (unless you look like super uncomfortable, emotionally aware king love that)

Mans has no thoughts of personal space. He wants to be close ALL THE TIMe

Will talk your ear off as he’s wrapped around you. Yes both arms and legs if it’s comfortable.

Tried to listen to you too, but will probs fall asleep. He doesn’t mean to be rude, bro is just tired and happy your with him.

Warm, but wiggles a lot.

After Marineford, he’s especially clingy. Has nightmares about it and only sleeps well if he knows his crew is safe and close by.

Please comfort him and tell him that the crew is safe, that he is safe.

Will drag you off for a nap if he’s tired. Or just falls asleep on top of you.

Will wake you up in the middle of the night to spout off random shit. Then fall back asleep. Or he’s going to try and grab a snack. Sanji is not pleased when the fridge is dented from this attempt.

Please make a deal with him to shower more. Your nose will think you.

Zoro

Dude also needs a shower

Likes to work out and then have a nap

Doesn’t like to admit it but prefers when your around for both of these activities

Enjoys flexing while training and then relaxing with a nap with one of his favorite people on the ship

If he stinks, MAKE HIM BATHE. Bro is STINKY and needs to scrub more. After he washes then it’s nap time. That’s the deal.

Nami thanks you for this

It started with just napping around you, then slowly leaning onto you.

Neither of you make a big deal out of it, more for his sake then yours. He’s embarrassed to admit he’s soft for your time together.

Not a huge talker, but is very good a listening.

Gives advice if he thinks you want it, but will sit and listen if you need to get stuff off your chest.

Is a little jealous you can do so with ease (in his mind). He’s too caught up being strong for the crew that he forgets that he’s allowed to just be Zoro, not Pirate Hunter or King of Hell Zoro.

Snores a little, but not super loud. Place his head on your shoulder or lap and he’s OUT. May even curl an arm or leg around you if he feels like it.

Nami

Not used to co-sleeping

Sleeps with a weapon close by due to her past with Arlong. This doesn’t change, only the location of the weapon does.

Particular about her sleep. Has a routine and everything.

Expects you to hold yourself to a certain standard if your sleeping in the same room as her (you’ll have to work up to cuddling).

Will gift you nice pjs, soaps, blankets, things like that.

Gets hot easily, but hates being too cold.

Will fall asleep at her nap desk. Please pick her up and tuck her into bed.

That’s how it starts probably. She holds onto you in her sleep and mumbles something you can’t make out. You wait and get a quiet “stay…don’t go”. You stay.

This happens a few more times before your invited into her bed. You slept on the floor before to avoid making her uncomfortable.

Refuses to admit that she likes being the little spoon, but she has the best sleep when she feels safe and protected by someone she trusts deeply.

Likes to nap in the sun under her trees with you. The warmth and the smell of the fruit is relaxing.

Doesn’t ask you to nap, just expects you to agree. Drags you to nap when she’s had a bad day.

Please just hold her for a bit and listen to her rant about stuff. She appreciates it more then you’ll ever know.

Usopp

Tries to act chill when you fall asleep on him for the first time.

Is smiling while trying to act annoyed like it’s an inconvenience (he feels so happy do NOT believe him)

Another one to fall asleep while creating. If you can’t pull him away wrap a blanket around him and place a pillow under his head.

Usopp is a lonely guy, considering he didn’t really have any friends before the straw hats (not including the Usopp pirates and Kaya).

If feels nice to be chosen

Likes to tell you stories (real and make believe) as your winding down to sleep.

Lights up when you smile or laugh because of him.

Makes it his goal to make you smile at least once before the end of the day. Even if it’s just an eye smile, he knows he’s made you happy, and that makes him happy.

LOVES late night talks. Doesn’t matter what it’s about. He’s happy to spend time with you.

Does his best not to wake you up in the morning if your not ready to wake up. Will save you some food (from Luffy) if your not awake yet.

Will be thinking of stories all day to tell you. Of course he tells the rest of the crew, mainly Chopper and Luffy, as well. But your late night talks hold a special place in his heart and day.

Is forever grateful you chose him as your best friend.

Sanji

Another one who has a hard time accepting affection (Zoro, and Robin too).

Happens after he has a nightmare about his family (this feels familiar ha).

You catch him up super late and ask him what’s wrong.

He doesn’t tell you right away (especially if it’s before Whole Cake) and gives a vague explanation of having a hard time sleeping.

You offer to help, and for some reason (sleep deprivation due to stress) he agrees.

You bring him back to bed and hold him. He’s not used to being held and take a bit to relax and get comfortable. The last time someone held him like this was either Zeff or his mom. Probably his mom.

This repeats for about a week before he starts seeking you out. He’s embarrassed about it at first but can’t deny he does sleep better with you around.

At some point, you start waking up with him and keeping him company while he makes breakfast. Whether you help him or not depends on what he’s making.

You keep him entertained while he cooks, and he makes you a little extra as a thank you.

Of course he’ll deny this if you bring it up, so if you want extra, just enjoy it.

He may tell you more about his dreams as time goes on, but nothing huge until you actually meet his family. Then he doesn’t even need to tell you, you just know when he’s having a hard time and step up the comfort.

He’s grateful to have such a wonderful crew to call his own.

I’ll probably do a part 2 with the rest of the straw hats later, but I’m tired and want to post this already. The straw hats deserve some comfort with all that trauma.

[lanadelnegan]

Ghost - Part 3

Negan x Glenn'sSister!Reader

Part 2 here // Part 4 here

Warnings: 18+, negan masturbating, negan being all sweet and protective

A/n: I thought this would be the last part, but it was so long I had to break it up. Part 4 will be posted soon!

Negan’s POV: 

I waited all night for her but she never came. Hopping back on my bike, I drove back to the sanctuary the next morning. I spent the next few days drinking in my room and missing her. Trying to give her space was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. 

Two of my wives came to check on me, and I rudely dismissed them. And told them to kick rocks, for good. I wouldn’t even be able to get my dick up with anyone else but her. This girl has me wrapped around her goddamn finger and I don’t even know her name. 

I sat on the couch, closed my eyes and imagined her face. Our night together. How I fucked her through her little shorts. I imagined her lips between mine and the little sounds she made as she scratched my back. Fuck. 

I rubbed myself through my pants, imagining myself between her legs before I got impatient and pulled my cock out. I spit in my hand and began stroking it, focusing extra on the tip. My head pressed against the couch and I groaned, jerking my dick faster. Fuck, fuck fuuuuck. 

"Boss, we've got a problem." Fucking Simon. 

Tucking myself back in my pants, I walked over and flung the door open, clearly annoyed with an extreme case of blue balls. We walked towards the back exit quickly while Simon filled me in on the situation. 

“Rick and the rest of them are outside." Simon explained. "He said he only wants you.” 

“Of course he does.” I chuckled before walking out onto the balcony. “Well, what a nice surprise. This better be good Rick. I was right in the middle of something.”  

Her silky black hair caught my attention almost instantly and I couldn't take my eyes off her. She stood beside Rick and my heart sank for two reasons. I couldn't let her get hurt in the middle of all this. And what the hell was she doing? She couldn't seriously want this.

I leaned next to Simon's ear and whispered. “Make sure everyone knows that one is off limits." I nodded towards my girl. "If anyone harms a hair on her pretty head, it'll be the last thing they ever do."

Your POV, earlier that day: 

“We go in quick, and we don’t leave until Negan is dead. Understood?” Rick’s voice sounded far away and I realized my mind had been wandering the entire time, not able to concentrate.. Or accept Rick’s plan for Alexandria to go after the Saviors. I couldn't lose someone I...

Care about… again. 

“Y/n?” Rick asked, tilting his head at me. 

“Yes, understood.” 

The ride over took ages it seemed like. My head rested against the window of the truck while I watched the sun slowly start to disappear. I should be thrilled. This is what I’ve wanted for so long - to get revenge. 

So why did I want to save him?

“I dunno if I can do this.” Daryl’s focus remained on the road as I spoke. “I know you don’t understand it, but there’s good in him. I’ve seen it.”

Daryl scoffed. “Unbelievable.”

“I just don’t wanna see anyone else die, Daryl.” I wiped a tear from my cheek.

“Some people deserve it.”

“And we don’t? Think about all the ones we’ve killed.”

“Not the same.” Daryl mumbled. 

“But it is. That’s the world we live in now. We do what we have to to survive. We’re all… psycho murderers, really.”  

“Listen to yourself. What do you think Glenn would think about you defending the man who killed him?” 

I sat quietly for a few moments, focusing my attention back on the clouds. “I think he’d be proud of me.” The gravel suddenly rumbling beneath the truck let us know we were getting close to the sanctuary and Daryl pulled over, parking near the others. 

“You’re either with us, or ya aint. But you need to hurry and decide.” Daryl warned before he quietly exited the truck and met up with the others ahead. 

I owe them for everything they’ve done for me. Everything they did for Glenn. I closed my eyes before hopping out of the car and quickly caught up with the rest of the group. Daryl gave me a nod and the rest of the tread was quiet. I tried focusing my mind on anything but Negan, disassociating to the best of my ability - a skill I’ve perfected over the past few months. 

“Negan needs to surrender. This has to happen now. This is the only way.” Rick’s voice rang through my ears as I stood near him, shielding myself with the metal that stood between us and the Saviors. Peeking out, I watched Negan appear behind the railing, an arrogant smirk forming on his lips.

“You’re gonna make me count?!" Rick shouted. "Okay, okay. I’m counting. 10….”

Negan eyes traveled to mine and his gaze softened. I stared at him, silently begging him to surrender while Rick counted. He studied me as if he wondered if I wanted this. 

Of course not. Surrender, goddammit. 

I watched him lean over and whisper something to Simon while his eyes were still on me. Simon nodded and took out his radio, signaling something to the others that I couldn't hear. 

The sound of Rick's gun cocking distracted me, and without thinking, I jumped in front of him, pulling the gun with with me. A bullet went straight through my foot, but I barely felt it.

I heard Negan cursing in the background amongst all the other chaos transpiring. Walkers were filing in now and everyone eventually scattered. I limped as quickly as I could, trying to escape before my feet lifted off the ground. I quickly realized it was Negan and he rushed us to an empty trailer nearby, shutting the door behind him when we made it inside.

“Oww.” I groaned, limping over to the wall and sliding down it. I pulled off my bloody sock and shoe and cringed at the bullet hole in my foot. The pain was starting to set in now.

“Shit.” Negan grabbed a first aid kit from a cabinet above and kneeled down, wrapping my foot. “The hell were you thinkin' darlin'?.”

He looked up at me, slightly grinning and I rolled my eyes. He finished wrapping it up, kissed my forehead, and sat next to me on the floor, leaning his back against the wall. His hand rested on my thigh protectively and I wanted to reach for it and hold his hand but I couldn’t. We both sat in silence for a few moments before he finally spoke.  

“You never came. I waited on you all night.” 

My heart ached at the thought of him there alone. “I told you, Negan. I don’t want to see you anymore.” 

“Yet.. you just took a bullet for me.” I could hear the cocky smile through his voice. 

“Why did you want to meet?” I asked.

“I guess I thought maybe if we went back to our place, you’d see me differently. The way you did that night, and I’d actually have a chance to win you over.”

When I looked over at him, I saw the man he was that night. Before I knew his name and all the horrible things he had done. I replayed everything in my head - the steam from his shower, our deep talks about our old high school days, his wife Lucille and how her death broke his heart, and how he read to me. And then I remembered him in between my legs, but stopping before it got too far because we were both tipsy.

How could the same man who bashed someone's skull in be the same one the had enough decency not to take advantage of a woman? I wanted so desperately to believe in the man he was that night - for that to be the only version of him. 

“Listen baby, I don’t want to hurt you anymore than I already have." His voice was lower than usual when he spoke. "I get that you don’t wanna see me anymore and I’ve gotta learn to be okay with that. I don’t want to be a constant reminder of your brother’s death.” He leaned his head against the wall. “Fuckin' stupid of me to think this could ever work, huh?” 

With every word he spoke, my heart broke into smaller pieces. If Negan would have died today, I’d hate myself for the rest of my life for not going back to the cabin and meeting him that night. As difficult as our life would be together - for so many reasons, I can’t live without him. 

“Negan..” 

“Yeah?” His hazel eyes met mine and he looked like a sad puppy that I desperately wanted to comfort.

“I don’t think I can ever forgive you.”

He nodded, clearly hurt and I watched his eyes fill with tears before he looked down. 

I sighed, hoping I wouldn’t regret what I was about to say. “But I love you. And I want to find a way to make this work.”

His eyes darted back and forth between mine before his hand cupped my face and he kissed me all in one motion. I've missed his lips so much. His mouth was gentle, like he was scared to break me, but I wanted him to, so I pulled him closer and opened my mouth slightly. His tongue slipped in and collided with mine, making me see stars. After a few moments, he pulled away, breathing heavily and resting his forehead against mine. 

“I love you so fuckin’ much, sweetheart. I’ll never disappoint you again.”

“I know.” And I did. I believed him. Gunfire in the distance quickly snapped us back to reality but we held each other, neither of us willing to let go first.

"Negan, I've gotta go back with them."

"No. Stay with me at the sanctuary until we figure out a plan? I'll take care of you and-"

"We can't. You can't stay here, Negan. It's not safe, they'll come back for you. Rick won't stop until you're dead."

"Then I'll kill him first, doll. Simple."

"No. You're not killing anyone else - none of my people. I can't lose anyone else. The only way everyone survives this is if you surrender."

Negan scoffed. "And then what? Be a goddamn prisoner and Rick's little bitch for the rest of my life? Not gonna happen, darlin'."

I sighed. This was going to be a lot harder than I thought.

"Hey, you're not giving up on me already are you?" Negan's hand rested again my cheek as he urged me to look at him.

"No.. no, I just, I dunno what to do."

"We've got all night to figure it out, doll. We don't have many options. There's no way you're going back to Alexandria on that foot. Come on." Negan stood, holding his hand out to me and I took it. "Stay close behind me, baby."

I nodded, gripping the back of Negan's shirt as he kicked the door open, flinging a few walkers in the process. I helped as much as I could, stabbing a few with my knife as Negan worked our way through the crowd.

Luckily the sanctuary itself seemed untouched. The walkers were only outside in the yard while a couple of guards secured the entry to the sanctuary doors. They opened them quickly as Negan and I tumbled in. His hand wrapped around my waist, helping me walk with my hurt foot.

We could hear Simon and the others around the corner. Turning the corner, Negan whistled his favorite tune and I watched in awe as the rest of the saviors bowed before us.

"I bet you all thought I was dead, huh?" Negan chuckled. "Here's a little refresher on who the hell I am. I wear a leather jacket, I have -“ He paused, leaning into you. "Hell’s your name darlin’? You never told me.” You whispered your name in his ear and giggled. He turned back to the saviors, finishing his speech. "I have y/n, and my nut sack? Is made of steel. I am not dyin' until I am damn good and ready."

What a dork. My dork. I thought, looking up at him as he spoke.

"Now, if you'll excuse us, we have a honeymoon to get to. No one knocks on my door. Simon, you're in charge. Don't make me regret it."

Simon nodded and Negan lead us down the hall to a large door at the end. He held the door open for me as I walked through. A bachelor pad of the apocalypse. Exactly what I imagined. I smiled at him and he returned the gesture, flashing his white smile before he walked towards me and immediately wrapped me in his arms. My head rested against his chest and I felt his heart beat. For once, I felt safe.

Part 4 here. If you’ve read this far, thank you. 🥹💗

tag list: @loganlostitall @chaospossum @negansbabydoll66 @redqueenphoenix @n3g5nx @crustyweirdo @youngpersonaathletebear @sadgirlzluvdilfs @ilovebill-and-gustav @neganscumbucket @manipulatorpoem @im-a-goddamn-cat @raininhell @mahogany-cherry-wine @daryldixmedown @munsonslovergirl @sanctuaryforthelost @thelauraborealis @carlgrimesbbg @c3linesworld @blueheisenbergtragedy @startwinklekitty @darlingmadelinee @oceandeepthirst @jschlattsqtip @lavenderchai @sweetbutpsychobutsweet @neganswoman @n7crophiliac @cats-writing @alldevilsarehere90 @natykacenka @queermilfs @stasiaangelsinner @lupa-03 @sadgirlzluvdilfs @pamago-bb @javier-penas-wifexx420 @motelprincess444 @thatonefroggirl @myhappyplaceofstuff @darlingmadelinee @used2beee @easystreet07 @princess-23-xoxo @twdxtrevor @dilfsandmartinis @sarahhxx03 @minaxcarter @kukka-roo @rinsdesires @6kaja9 @sasiiik9174

[malum-forev]

Heyyyy can you please do “protective” from the bingo where reader is protective of Bucky? 😘

Hi hiii! I'm so sorry for the delay! I've been swamped with work but I finally got a chance to write this one! Hope you like it!

When had the shift begun? When did you start to become protective of a man who needed no help in that department? You had no idea. Actually, scratch that, you had no idea how any of this had happened, how your once normal life was now turned upside down- sometimes literally thanks to Peter.

You were riding on some sort of rage high after being dragged along for one too many job interviews just to be let down at the last moment. “You’re not a right fit”, “I really wanted you to be a part of the team but management went with another option”, “Don’t worry, you’ll get another job”, these phrases had been floating around your mind like a teleprompter on a loop. So, one night when you had too much time to be navigating on a job search website- and honestly, had one too many cups (or maybe bottles) of wine, you applied for the job. The one you’d always wanted but thought you were way too underqualified for. And you sent in your application, an overconfident – way too drunk- alter ego spoke up. 

Suddenly, you were starting your first day, lanyard over your neck and nervousness crawling up your arms. You’d heard some rumblings about why the position had been vacant for so long, him being uncooperative, rude and sometimes purposefully sneaky. Creating havoc and a long trail of messes you’d have to clean up.

You still remember the first time you saw him, you’d been told to look for him in the training room and avoid eye contact. The large doors creaked loudly as you entered, making everyone look over. Men and women far more fit than you’d ever be, covered in spandex. So much spandex in such a little space. 

“Are you going to stand around all day or do you plan on doing something other than being late?” His gruff voice made you sweat. 

“I-“ You tried to get out but Bucky was already busy with something else. 

You placed your camera and your work bag on the stands and walked over to him.

“That’s what you decided to wear?” He furrowed his eyebrows, taking you in.

 “Miss Potts said something in between casual and business casual was alright.” You muttered, tugging down on the edge of your sweater, your eyes glued to the floor.

Bucky’s eyebrows shot up for a second then he shrugged his shoulders. “Okay…”

Bucky cleared his throat and the twenty some agents straightened their backs and got in formation. “We’ll start the sparring session with your fellow agent, let this be a lesson. If you’re late, you’ll be part of the demonstration.”

He threw over an unsharpened knife to you and got in position. Your face filled with worry as you took in his stance, Bucky was ready for battle. 

You barely managed to dodge his first punch but suddenly, Bucky grabbed your sides and threw you over his back, you fell on the thick foam floor with a thud and a yelp. 

Bucky towered over you, confused as to why the agent they sent for the sparring session wasn’t getting up from the floor. 

“Where did you say you were trained?” Bucky sounded stumped.

“I wasn’t.” You managed to get out through ragged breaths.

“They sent me an untrained agent?” Bucky threw his head back in annoyance.

You sat up, slowly regaining the air in your lungs. “Actually, I’m your new PR representative.”

The training room filled with laughter. 

“Oh god.” Bucky muttered, helping you get up. “Why the hell did you not tell me you weren’t an agent! I just body slammed you!”

“There’s always a first time for everything?” You offered with a small smile as Bucky’s cheeks turned bright red. 

0-0

It was now a year later and the job turned out to be better than you thought, Bucky wasn’t as bad as people said and now you knew how to successfully fight back after a body slam- Bucky had told you it was imperative you knew some self-defense. 

“Can’t we just cancel?” Bucky groaned, fidgeting in his seat, making the makeup artist’s job way more complicated. You noticed she was two seconds away from giving up so, you decided to relieve her of her duties.

You picked up the makeup sponge and dabbed some concealer under his eyes. “You’re starting to get a diva reputation.”

You didn’t miss the way the corners of his lips turned upwards at your words. 

Bucky’s eyes followed your face. “If I were a diva, I wouldn’t have shown up here. Lord knows I don’t want to do this interview.”

“The only reason you showed up is because you know I’d drag you from bed into this makeup chair myself if you hadn’t.” You smiled, adding powder. 

“You’re taking too long with my makeup, making me self-conscious about my undereye bags.” Bucky feign fainted. 

You bit your bottom lip. “You only say that because you want me to compliment you. I know what you’re doing, Barnes.”

Bucky let out a throaty chuckle before taking a deep breath.

You grabbed both of his shoulders. “Look at me, everything is fine. I’ve talked to their team and specifically written out approved questions, which we’ve rehearsed. This is just some dumb PR so people know who’s out there saving their lives.”

Bucky nodded, taking in your soothing words. “When I enlisted I thought being a soldier would be a lot more fighting and less makeup and interviews.”

You smoothed his leather jacket and took a lint roller down the sides of his pants. “You’ve done way too much fighting, now’s the time for you to sit back, answer some questions about your workout routine and look pretty.”

Bucky smiled. 

“Remember, I’m just behind the camera. Everything they’re going to ask you has been approved, you have nothing to worry about. Trust me.”

“I trust you.” He gave you a short smile.

The hosts of the morning talk show seemed nice. Emphasis on seemed. The interview was going just as planned, until the male host decided to go rouge. 

You almost spit out your coffee when you heard his question. It almost registered in slow motion.

“So, when you’re alone at night, do you ever regret not being able to be The Winter Soldier? Or is there a part of you that is still controlled by those words?” He said with a smug smile, he almost seemed proud of his question. 

Bucky gulped at the question and he felt his hands start to fist, only you could recognize this as a sign of anxiety filling his body.

“Go to commercial.” You barked at the morning show director. “Go to commercial now!”

The show cut off and you stormed onto the set. 

“You asshole!” You yelled at the host. “You just wanted to get your little five minutes of fame, well guess what! The only thing you’re getting is a big fat defamation lawsuit, how does that sound!”

“This is the entertainment industry, no one wants to hear about how clean and PG he is now. We want the nitty gritty.” He rolled his eyes.

“He is a person! He was used and you just want to get the fucking story.” Your words leaked like poison. 

Bucky took your arm lightly. “Let’s just go, it’s fine.”

You saw how his kind blue eyes saddened. This is exactly why he never wanted to do interviews, he had resigned to people knowing him only for the bad and not the good. 

Well fuck that. You thought. 

You freed yourself from Bucky’s arm and used the momentum to swing at the host. You punched him straight in the cheekbone. 

“What the fuck!” The host shrieked. 

“That’s enough.” Bucky muttered, taking your body and swinging it over his shoulder. 

You banged on his firm back. “Put me down! I want to take another hit!”

“Thank you everybody, we’re going to leave now.” Bucky yelled as he carried you out the doors and into the parking lot. 

Once you got back to the compound, Bucky started to ice your purpling knuckles. 

“Looks like my PR Rep is going to need a PR Rep of her own.” Bucky finally said with a chuckle. 

You shook your head. “It’s not fair. You’re amazing and kind and nice and- people only want to see someone you’re not. You’re not him.”

“Look, doll,” Bucky sighed. “I appreciate you standing up for me but, I’ve made my peace with that. I don’t do this to get recognition, I do it to help people. So, if they want to believe I’m still the other guy then, let them. Because I truly don’t care what they think.”

You huffed. “But-“

“No buts.” Bucky interrupted, placing a chaste kiss on each of your knuckles. “Instead, let’s talk about how cute you look bein’ protective. It’s nice to know that whenever the super serum stops working, I have myself a pretty effective bodyguard.”

You burst out laughing. 

Pleaaaseee be sure to comment, like and reblog if you enjoyed it! Remember, one comment = one kiss on my forehead! <3

Hi hiiii This is part of my 1k Celebration, if you like this please be sure to look at the Bingo Card and ask for a prompt! Love y'all <33

And you can find the Bingo master list and what prompts are still available here!

tagged: @kpopgirlbtssvt @shara-ne @namelesssaviour @hallecarey1

[the--rebel--fae]

Catch and Release ~ Ch. 2

A/N: Here's the second chapter! Looking for Ch. 1? Click here!

And as usual, all OC and story idea belong to the very sweet @nevewidow

CW: Swearing, Spoilers for sabaody archipelago and slight hints at slavery thanks to the Auction House. Other than that just fluff and comedy.

Let's get this started shall we?

Catch and Release ~ Ch 2

“I swear when I get outta here, I’m gonna skin you creeps alive. You hijo de–” Argelia’s screaming was quickly cut off by a familiar voice yelling out in pain just a few feet from her.

The auction house just barely got another mermaid and they were wheeling her tank in right next to Argelia’s. But that’s not what stunned Argelia into silence. No, it was who they wheeled in.

“Camie?” Argelia all but whispered, her deep brown eyes widened. This was the first time she truly felt fear. Not for herself, but for her dear friend.

Camie cringed as she felt another uncomfortable shock from the hellish collar they put around her neck. “H-hi Argelia. It looks like I ended up finding you after all. I’m sorry I couldn’t rescue you myself.”

Argelia shook her head, her hair swishing around in the water of her own tank. “Don’t say such things. We’ll find a way out, somehow. And when we do, you can be sure I’m going to flay every last one of these damn humans.” Argelia growled.

Camie smiled slightly at her friend's fierce protectiveness. “Don’t worry Argeliachin, I have friends that I recruited before I ended up here. I was supposed to be part of the rescue crew, but heh. Looks like they’re gonna have to save me too.”

The young woman just nodded at her friend. She didn’t want to spoil any of her hope. Because she knew there was a fat chance in hell that humans of all people would come to their aid. She admired Camie’s naivete though, at least it’ll guard her from the pain. 

“Silence you! I already had to deal with your witch of a friend with she so rudely stuck her tongue out at me! I will not have mere product talk back to me!” Disco, the owner of the auction growled at Argelia.

Disco was a sadistic bastard in Argelia’s eyes. He was a spindly tall and frankly ugly human male. He always carried himself like he was above everyone and that anyone was below him. Especially Fishmen of any kind. 

“Make me you filthy human.” Argelia hissed at him.

A disgustingly arrogant smirk crept up onto that evil man’s lips. “With pleasure.” He murmured. 

Argelia gave a furious shriek as his circus freaks of minions hoisted her up from the water, grasping at her tentacles in her hair so she couldn’t smack them into oblivion. Next thing she knew, Argelia felt the cold snap of the same exact collar they had put around Camie’s neck, putting its unfeeling metal grip around hers. 

“Try to bite back now honey. One action, one word that I don’t like, and you get a little zap from this little collar here.” The man laughed.

Argelia narrowed her eyes but didn’t try to test his words. He had already seen what it did to Camie, she didn’t need a demonstration of what these demonic things would feel like to her. 

She huffed as he walked away from her, sinking back into the waters of the tank she was confined to. She might as well take in the surroundings, perhaps she could find something of use that could help her and Camie escape. 

Looking around, all she could see were cages upon cages. Every last one was built differently to house each occupant. It made her sick to see things like this. Aside from the cages, she could tell that there wasn’t much to this place. At least not for the backroom where she and Camie were being held. All there was was the big open space and the curtain where she assumed the perverts and scum would be waiting to bid on all of them on the other side.

‘So essentially, nothing remotely useful at the current moment. Guess I’m going to have to wait till we’re out there in front of everyone.’ Argelia thought as she gazed out of her tank with eyes full of contempt. 

“Alright you idiots, we had enough of a failure with the first one, you idiots better not mess the presentation of these two up!” Disco yelled out as he walked back in from the curtain.

Argelia glared as Disco’s mime-like goons wheeled her and Camie through the curtain and into the blinding sunlight of what seemed to be the “presenting stage” as she heard Disco and his minions call it. 

“Now everyone I have a special treat! Not one, but two mermaids! A hot commodity so let’s start the bidding shall we?” Disco yelled out to the crowd of what had to be at least thirty maybe forty people in the audience.

“500,000,000 Beli for the both of them!” A loud and obnoxious voice yelled out.

Argelia’s eyes immediately shot to who yelled and her face scrunched up with disgust. He was a giant of a man, that clearly looked like he had never missed a meal. Slovenly and mannerless. Obviously some kind of royalty somewhere.

The girl let out a huff making bubbles blow around her mouth. “Great, another human with a Mer-kink. Just what we need.”

A/N: Hope you like the second chapter! I'll be posting more of it soon! And maybe more of the series I've been writing for her as well! I love these stories, and I love making stories for all of you. Feel free to click that link below and get a story for yourself! I'd love to make your ideas into reality!

[lavenderbexlatte]

day 16 - hate sex

nct 1.9k words gender neutral reader insert Reader x Kim Doyoung NSFW

🖤 warnings: college au bc it’s my favorite, unabashed rudeness, arguing literally nonstop, mistaken identity, enemies to still enemies but they have sex, some mild d/s dynamics, one brutal handjob 🖤

kinktober masterlist

connect with me! / masterlist

You had not meant for it to be him. Of all of them, of all twenty-odd of them, not him. Anyone else.

You'd wanted one specific one, the best one. You just didn't know his name at the time.

There are a lot of guys in their frat, and you know some of them. Taeyong, the sweetheart who sits behind you in Western Classics, reliably with a big pet store shopping bag full of something cute and unnecessary for his aquarium of fish. Yangyang, a freshman just out of pledging who works at the student cafe and always pours you a large even if you order a medium.

You don't know the pretty, pretty one who was sitting outside the frat house when you walked by the other day, the one with the shaggy black hair that nearly touches his shoulders, with the sculpted face and the piercings and the cropped t-shirt, sunning himself on the porch like a cat.

He's gorgeous, and you want him. You think you'll die if you can't have him.

Your first mistake, you think, was asking one of the other pledges you know if he could help you. Hendery is sweet, but he's new both to the school and to the frat, and when he'd suggested coming to a frat party so he could try and hook you up with your frat brother of choice, you'd agreed with some trepidation.

Attending a frat party is a small price to pay, you'd thought, if Hendery could get you access to that beautiful man with a belly button ring.

Hendery had met you in the foyer, brought you into the house. He left you against the wall in the open-plan living space with a view into the kitchen, as he approached a knot of his frat brothers (including That One) and spoke for a moment. All of the boys had looked over at you. And then Hendery returned, telling you to go have fun until he texted.

Perfect wingman.

When you got the text, nearly an hour later, you were sweaty, tipsy, and dusted in glitter from a sorority girl who'd insisted you dance with her. Head to the second bedroom on the second floor, the text read.

You followed the instructions dutifully, heart in your throat, and as you stood in the scrubbed-clean but cluttered room, you saw all the evidence you needed: that cropped t-shirt your mystery man was wearing the other day, hanging over the back of a garish red and black gaming chair.

The door opened. Someone slipped in.

Your second mistake was not stalking the guy online and getting his name. You'd only had a description for Hendery: height, build, hair color and style, general facial features. You'd assumed that even in a frat of a few dozen, it would be easy to tell. And hell, Hendery even talked to the guy, right in front of you.

Apparently, your luck does not run much farther than that.

And now here you are, in despair, staring at the guy Hendery set up with you. Your Sociology tablemate, your Speech & Debate partner from last semester, one of the most egotistical and insufferable people you've ever met.

Not the guy from the other day. Kim Doyoung.

"I thought Hendery was kidding," Doyoung says, wary, as he closes the door behind him.

You can't help the full-body reaction you have: pure bone-deep annoyance. "What are you doing here?"

"You asked me to be here."

"I absolutely did not."

His expression falters, not embarrassment but exasperation. "Yes, you did."

"I did not."

"You literally did, Hendery told me to come here and-"

"Not you!" you insist, looking skyward as if to ask why you're being punished like this.

"Then-"

"You think I would be asking for you when - when-" you falter, realizing you still don't know the guy's name.

Doyoung crosses his arms. "When?"

You grab the t-shirt, waving it at Doyoung. "Whose top is this?"

"Yuta," Doyoung says. "Me and Yuta share this room."

"Belly piercing? Super hot?"

"Yuta," he confirms.

"I wanted Yuta!" you explode. "Not...you."

"That's fucking rude," he says.

You shoot him a withering look. "I don't know why you even came. It's me."

"I was curious," he snipes back. "You were always such a holier-than-thou little pain in the ass in Debate, I wanted to see what changed. Obviously nothing."

"You wanna talk pain in the ass? You got me a C on the final project in Soc because you devil's advocated my partner to tears!" you jab.

Doyoung scoffs. "You're still mad that I'm smarter than you?"

"You're delusional."

"I'm delusional? You're trying to fuck my roommate, you're the delusional one!"

You pause. "Excuse me?"

"You and Yuta?" he smirks. "Come on."

"Let's see what kind of pussy you're pulling, then, jackass. Any dates, lately?"

"I've been busy-"

"I bet you ran up here like a kid on Christmas, thinking someone finally wanted to put up with your face and your personality for two and half minutes of mediocre sex."

"I'm not the one having pledges hunt down hookups for me," Doyoung snarls. "Don't trust that anyone would follow through if they had to actually talk to you first?"

That one hurts, a little, but you just look back at him evenly. "As much as I'd love to keep this going, if I'm not getting laid tonight, I'm going home."

"You still could."

Doyoung slaps a hand over his mouth as soon as the words leave it, and you can feel your face go slack in surprise.

"Excuse me?" you ask, again.

"I just mean-"

"Are you...into me?"

"No," he says, too quickly.

"You are," you say, dawning revelation and the slightest horror.

"I'm not. Why would I be?" he dismisses, but his face is animated with the utmost outrage, his tone too much.

You've been on the debate team with him for a few semesters now, and if there's one thing you've learned from that experience, it's his tells. He's lying. He's an awful liar.

"Oh, you're into me," you tease, "You were excited because it's me."

"Funny. Last time I checked, I fucking hated you."

"I hate you, too," you say, sweet as pie.

Suddenly, like he's been pushed, Doyoung sits down on the nearest of the two beds in this cramped little room, and crosses his legs pointedly. He could just be acting like a priss, but you suspect it's something else...

And as you watch, he has to ever so carefully adjust himself, playing it off like he's just pulling at the fabric of his jeans. And failing.

"You're getting off on this," you say dumbly. "You like that I hate you."

"That would be twisted," he replies, but it's a little strained.

You grin. "It would."

Well, this changes everything. You're not into him, objectively. He sucks. But if he's so determined to act like he's not attracted to you...now it's a game. And you win at games.

"I can just go home," you say, cavalier. "Hendery fucked up my chances for tonight, so I can just go home and-"

"Go, then. See if I care."

"I think you'll care."

"I don't care about you," he dismisses.

You take a step closer to him, and he leans back. "No. You hate me."

Despite himself, Doyoung relaxes as you walk nearer still, uncrossing his legs so that his struggle is apparent, plain as day.

"You hate me. Can't stand me. That's why you're hard right now," you say.

He adjusts himself again, probably realizing that any attempt at denying it is futile, now. He probably knows that you have all the fuel you need to make fun of him for the rest of his life.

Or maybe he's enjoying this, in the same creeping, uncertain way that you are.

"I thought you were going," he says.

You shrug. "I could stay, if you ask me to."

"Why would I?"

"I just think you would. Unless you're too scared."

You wander toward the door, fully intending to go if he doesn't say anything. You have no skin in the game, here; any embarrassment you might've felt at having your intentions misunderstood is completely overshadowed by Doyoung sitting there rock-hard in his skinny jeans.

Your hand is on the doorknob when he finally breaks.

"Don't go."

Rather than opening the door, you lock it.

"You have to tell me to stop, if you're actually not into it," you say.

He nods, just barely, eyes wide.

"If you really hate me," you add.

At that, the hard glint returns to his gaze, and you know that you've got him. That you're not just steamrollering him into anything.

"I do," Doyoung assures you.

"Would you hate it if I take off that horribly tacky shirt?" you ask.

He tugs at the collar of his navy button-up gently. "Fuck you, I like this."

"I don't."

He lets you unbutton the shirt and discard it, and he doesn't resist when you press him back onto the bed, his feet still firmly on the ground but his back meeting the mattress. You're undoing his belt, his jeans, when he fidgets under you.

"Aren't you gonna..." he gestures at your clothes, still firmly in place.

"Nah," you say. "You hate me so much, I would hate to make you look at-"

"Please?" His voice cracks over the syllables, and you marvel, since you haven't even done anything yet.

"No."

He's freed from his jeans and briefs in no time, and you waste no time setting a good pace on his desperately hard length, stroking him and simply leaning over his prone form. He jolts at the first contact, and then he melts.

"You hate me, so this should be all I give you," you muse. "Just let you use me to get off like this. Should be all you want, right?"

"If I - fuck - if I say I don't hate you, will you give me, shit, anything else? More?" Doyoung asks, through gritted teeth.

"This isn't good?"

"It is, but-"

"It'd be a shame to make you lie, like that," you say.

He's leaking precum, and you catch it as you circle the head to make the slide that much easier, slick rather than the hard friction of skin on skin, and he groans. His voice, despite all your disdain, is easy on the ears, and you twist your wrist to see if you can get that sound again. He doesn't disappoint, cracking through an octave.

"You're not gonna cum until you can thank me for giving you this much, even though you've been so rude to me," you tell him.

The amiable way he'd spoken in his hasty lust is gone, as he snaps, "Thank you? For what?"

"For being so nice, even though you hate me."

"You hate me, too."

"I do," you nod solemnly, "Imagine what you could be getting if I didn't."

Doyoung twitches in your grasp, and you have to hold down his narrow hips with your other hand, leaning on him more heavily to keep him in place.

"Might even let you fuck me, if you were nicer. Pity," you say.

"Shit - close, I'm-"

You let up, right on cue, slowing down your pace to something excruciating, and Doyoung's eyes that had been clamped shut against the onslaught fly open again.

"What-"

"You didn't thank me."

"I'm not fucking going to-"

"Then you don't cum."

Confident that he's backed down from his high, you start building him up again. He whines, honest-to-God whines out loud, in a higher pitch than you'd imagine he could reach. There's only so much edging that an egotistical brat like him can take before he cracks. He'll thank you before long.

"Shit," he moans.

"Any time, now."

"Fuckin' hate you."

[xunandran]

Fuck it Friday (Eddie Diaz/Josh Russo)

Good Afternoon all! I didn't exactly know what I was going to share this time, since I've been spinning some plates at work and have not gotten as much writing done as I would like.

That being said, Five Alarm Fest is just around the corner, and I've been working on getting some items prepped for that! I'm not sure if I'm going to get every day done, but I'll be posting for a couple.

So here's a small snip from my upcoming Eddie/Josh fic for Five Alarm Fest. If you want more info on the event, visit @fivealarmfest

=====

“All of you are all the same, you know that?” Josh folded his arms with a huff.

“All of who?”

“Hot people.” The description was spat, an insult rather than a compliment. “You think just because you look like that and you have an ass for days, you can just butt into anything and everything and just… disrupt the flow. It’s insulting.” Josh lunged for his keys again, but Eddie’s height and angle let him quickly pull them away. 

Eddie chuckled. “You think I’m hot?”

Josh rolled his eyes. “Don’t let it go to your head. Your personality ruins it.”

“My… My personality?” Eddie scoffed, arm dropping from over his head. He clutched Josh’s keys close to his chest. “You have been nasty to me since the first day I walked into that dispatch center. You’re exhausting. You’d almost be palatable if you’d just shut your mouth.”

Josh’s mouth stood agape, once again clearly defying Eddie’s wishes. He swallowed, frowned, then swallowed again. “I don’t know what anyone sees in you. You’re a rude, arrogant ass who thinks he knows more than everyone else just because he ‘happened’ to be in the army.”

“I did know more,” Eddie screamed, finger thrusting against Josh’s chest. “In that situation, I knew more than you ever will. I’m sorry I injured your inflated ego, but there wasn’t time to play nursemaid or telephone. Capable people would have died if I had done things your way!”

Josh swatted Eddie’s hand away, nostrils flaring angrily. “Don’t you dare touch me! You talk big, but never forget that you sit in that office because you couldn’t handle it out there.”

“I am there for my son,” Eddie growled, fiery glare backing Josh into a corner of the too small elevator. It chimed and the squeaky doors opened, but neither man moved, not initially. “That’s something you would know if you hadn’t tossed me in an office and treated me like some second rate gossip.”

“Give me my keys, Diaz, or you won’t even have that office come Monday.”

“Big words from a small man. You want them? Take them.” He held the keys in front of him, palm outstretched. 

Josh swiped at the keys, but Eddie quickly closed his fist and jerked his hand away. “You’re not funny, Diaz.”

Eddie’s lower lip bunched against the corner of his mouth, as if he was debating disagreeing. 

Josh flailed again, hands chasing Eddie’s shifting fist like a bizarre dance between two hummingbirds. His glare deepened with every failure, lips curling into a snarl that was the near opposite of Eddie’s smug, cocksure smirk. 

Eddie offered the keys again, hand outstretched toward Josh. But like all the previous times, whenever he tried to claim his prize, Eddie yanked it away. Fuming, Josh shoved Eddie, catching the stronger man off-guard and slamming him against the back wall of the elevator. Eddie glared angrily, dark eyes flashing as he tossed Josh’s keys into the corner and grabbed the man by his shirt, forcing him back and against the opposite wall. 

Josh opened his mouth to protest the treatment, but Eddie shut it with his, a cataclysmically bad decision fueled by anger, frustration, and a large helping of repressed lust.

As quickly as the contact happened, it broke. Eddie tore himself away. The two men stood in the small space, gulping air, wild eyes a mirror of each other’s. Each of them tried to process what the hell had just happened. 

Eddie raised his own hands, an apology forming on his lips. 

Josh didn’t let him speak. He crossed the small space in a quick step, pushing Eddie back against the wall and roughly bruising their lips together.

[elevatorladylady]

Critical Reread - ACOFAS Chapter 21

Join me on a reread of A Court of Frost and Starlight

Chapter 21 - Cassian/Nesta

Cassian confronts Nesta after the solstice party.

“Could barely register moving aside his High Lady to get to the front door.”

They have such a weird power imbalance in their “family”

“Beautiful. Even with the weight loss, she was as beautiful standing in the snow”

What?!? A man finding a skinny woman attractive? Wild!

“And you didn’t say one gods-damned word to me the entire night. Not that he’d said a word to her.”

And this is the kind of stuff that makes me dislike Cassian. He feels owed some kind of conversation from her even though he can readily admit he didn’t make the effort. He was the one who was more comfortable at the party, and he didn’t do anything to make her feel welcome.

“He understood. He really did. It had taken him months—years—after his first battles to readjust. To cope. Hell, he was still reeling from what had happened in that final battle with Hybern, too.”

If a seasoned general is reeling from a battle, I think it’s reasonable that 20-something year old might need a lot more time and space to recover from a battle she was dragged into.

“Your Solstice present.” “I don’t want one.”

I was about to say Nesta is just being rude here, but I also think that this is not the ideal way to gift something to someone who is clearly wary of the relationship. Why wouldn’t she see the gift as something with strings attached? Leaving it at her door would have shown he didn’t expect anything in return.

“Just as he’d been well aware of the money he’d seen Feyre give to Nesta moments before she left.

He wished she hadn’t. Wished for a lot of things.”

Why exactly does Cassian care that Feyre bribed Nesta to come? He’s almost as willing as Feyre to be pushy when it comes to Nesta.

“Why should I have to try to do anything?” Her teeth flashed. “I was dragged into this world of yours, this court.” “Then go somewhere else.”

I would try to be generous that he’s trying to suggest something that might actually make her happier, but since he admits immediately after that she doesn’t actually have anywhere to go, I can’t help but see this as a reaction to rejection. Like if she won’t cozy up to the IC, she should just go somewhere else.

“Stop following me. Stop trying to haul me into your happy little circle. Stop doing all of it.”

And they still can’t figure out that she would prefer individual relationships with certain people and not just get lumped in with the Inner Circle.

“Your sisters love you. I can’t for the life of me understand why, but they do. If you can’t be bothered to try for my happy little circle’s sake, then at least try for them.”

Firstly, fuck Cassian for implying that loving Nesta is beyond comprehension. Second, she needs and wants her sisters to meet her on terms right now and they have refused.

“As if he were nothing. As if he weren’t worth her time. The effort. A low-born Illyrian bastard.”

Let the record show, that she did not say this to him. He just assumes she feels this way about him.

“She could barely stand to hear the crack and pop of the wood. Had barely been able to endure it in Feyre’s town house. Snap; crunch.”

Oh look, she actually has a perfectly valid reason for being uncomfortable in Feyre’s home and she was not “just being difficult”.

[basedkikuenjoyer]

Jojolands - First Impressions

That’s what we’re doing here. I know I haven’t really delved into Jojo’s much before, but I know several of my mutuals are big into it and I am at least a fan of this bizarre multi-generational adventure. Still need to finish Part 8 but honestly...I’ll probably just wait for the anime. It’s too confusing for me to properly binge the manga. I’ll keep any actual spoilers under the cut, but first...

I’m sold. This intro chapter hooked me more than Stone Ocean. I’ve never really been into JJBA for the plot, I like what my boyfriend said when I got him to watch the dub. “This is one where you’re just here to enjoy the experience.” If I put it in art terms, something like One Piece is a very traditional story. It’s not exactly breaking a lot of new territory, more perfecting an established style. Jojo’s? That’s abstract art. Sure there’s an overarching story to each part and how they tie together, but you’re mostly just enjoying the vibe. And oh my god do I love everything about this vibe in Part 9. First and foremost though...

My newest beloved blorbo Dragona. Just gonna say this now and get it out of the way; it’s as worth getting hung up on pronouns as it is that clip of Izo referring to Kiku as his “brother.” Differing norms are going to make this finicky, especially when we’re talking about a Japanese author writing about Hawaii as a setting through the viewpoint of a 15yo younger brother. Little different, but I live in an area with a lot of Marshall Islanders. You sorta get used to it. We could ultimately find out Dragona is as much a “woman at heart” as someone like Kiku and referring to him as such still makes sense in context. Especially with an older Japanese author and there still very much being a mindset of like, not using “transgender” to refer to anyone except someone who has fully transitioned and treating it like a man becoming a woman there. Make sense?

All that to say, use your eyes and common sense over getting hung up on specific words. I’ll probably casually use she/her most of the time because it’s hard not to. Everything I see so far suggests Dragona also acts pretty girly and hell...I’ve known 18yo trans folk existing in a space like this while they sort themselves out. We’re clearly going for something in that bubble, I’m sure Dragona will have more room to clarify...it’s Jojo’s, just roll with it. Because by all accounts we’re looking at the sane, reasonable one in the group. And that’s cool, I’m definitely keeping an eye on this pair from the perspective of wondering if maybe, just maybe Araki was a little influenced by a certain pair of samurai “brothers” who like to play with similar territory. If nothing else, our introduction does show, not tell that absent being informed most people are going to read Dragona as female. Curious about those “cosmetic injections” as well.

With that out of the way, I adore our introduction to these new Joestars. Sets the time, locale, everything so well. They’re rocking out to Dua Lipa, hassled by dickhead cops, name dropping covid, cops one up the racism with transphobia. Then our best bros fuck em up. Awesome. These parts since Stone Ocean all track with an AU version of a previous part, and I love that we don’t waste time showing off our new cast as a twist on Passione from Vento Aureo. Though this time we aren’t screwing around with noble intentions. This is all about getting filthy rich and I’m here for it. Especially with my second love from this first chapter.

This bitch. Who is, without a doubt, 100% that bitch. If she has a Stand please let it be Lizzo inspired. Speaking of Stands, Jodio’s November Rain is cool looking and I like the reference...but of course Dragona is the better one with a nod to the absolutely legendary slow jam Smooth Operator. Given the similarities I love the jokes about “Sex Reassignment Pistols” Fun fact, 80s wrestler and guy who looks like he walked straight out of a porno “Ravishing” Rick Rude would sometimes use that song as entrance music. Does it sound like fight music? Nah, but he made it werk. Where the hell was I?

Right, let’s steal this diamond! Good hook, I’m invested and we have the gang together. Although I know this series well enough to know we’ll probably find a better motivation along the way (please be nice to momma and Beach Boy’s reference Barbra Ann Araki, she’s so loving) for now I love focusing on a gang of scrunkly criminals who make no bones about it. Jodio’s going to school solely to sell drugs, Dragona and Boss Bitch Meryl seem to have a lovely bond. Like I said, a part hasn’t hooked me this well since introducing Jolyene ashamed to have been caught paddlin’ the pink canoe. Part where I just died though...

Two words were all I needed to see to know Araki did his research on the islands. Spam Onigiri. It makes sense if you know the history, soldiers in WW2 brought Spam with them to a lot of these islands because it’s easy meat to ship and stockpile. It became popular trading fodder with locals, they still very much consume a lot to this day. Because it’s also something you don’t have to worry about taking a while to ship. And there are some dope Polynesian recipes built around using it these days. I’ve just personally always found that a fun quirk from the Marshall Islanders I know and past experience with people from Hawaii, Guam, etc. Will never forget a lab partner from Guam in college, said something about it and he was just gobsmacked. Had been going his whole time here wondering why it was so hard to find certain flavors on the mainland. 

Anyways, that was a lot of disjointed rambling to say I’m very excited about Part 9. Disjointed rambling is on theme though because it’s Jojos. Nothing bad is allowed to happen to Dragona or Barbara Ann. Paco and the weird guy? Meh. Jodio’s great because he’s a scruffy no-goodnik and proud of it.

[justicerikai]

Charisma House - Superhuman Sharehouse Story “Charisma” - #37 Ohse’s move

Please read alongside listening to the drama track on Youtube.

Iori: Terra-san? I’m coming in.

Terra: Uuuhm. Uuhhm.

Fumiya: Everything looking okay?

Iori: No, he’s still bedridden

Amahiko: What in the world has happened again

Iori: I have no idea

Fumiya: How was it for you, Rikai? Since you experienced it before

Rikai: I can’t recall any details, and before I knew it I was in bed

Rikai: I had this sensation as if all the energy had been drained out of my body

Iori, Amahiko, Fumiya: Huuuuh-

Rikai: There was not an ounce of strength left in my body

Iori, Amahiko, Fumiya: I see-

Rikai: Either way his body needs to rest. The most important thing is to let him sleep peacefully.

Fumiya: Got it. Let’s leave then

Iori: Terra-san, goodnight.

Rikai, Amahiko, Fumiya: Goodniiiight

Terra: Gonna love uhhhm… Wanna love uuhmm…

(Ohse roaming around at night)

Sarukawa: Aaah, so sleepy

Ohse: (Eh… W-why…?)

Ohse: (No one should be coming here at this hour.)

Ohse: (This is bad. It’s just the two of us. What do I do.)

Ohse: (I’ll run back to my room immediately.)

Ohse: (No, it could be rude to just bail on him and go back.)

Ohse: (I might make him think I ran away because I didn’t like that it was just us.)

Ohse: (But it has to be hell to share the same time and space with such a worthless human being. I need to disappear quickly.)

Ohse: (W-what do I do?)

Ohse: (Run? Stay? I’ll go back- No, I’ll stay. Go back- No, stay.)

Ohse: (I should show how I’m staying but I’m also determined to go back to my room. In other words, what I have to do is pinpoint that subtle middleground of staying and leaving.)

Ohse: (What am I actually talking about? I have no idea.)

Ohse: (The best thing would be to go back quietly if I could. But how many seconds is it to stay naturally?)

Ohse: (5 seconds? 10 seconds? Meanwhile, thinking about it uses up way too much time. I need to also take that into consideration.)

Ohse: (My idiotic brain can’t keep up with this.)

Ohse: (And are you even equipped with a sense for what’s natural to begin with, Minato Ohse.)

Ohse: (You don’t get it, do you.)

Ohse: (It’s because you can’t tell what’s normal or natural that you haven’t been able to properly communicate with people in the slightest until now, no?)

Ohse: (Don’t trust yourself. Distrust yourself.)

Ohse: (Minato Ohse, you are your own enemy.)

Sarukawa: Aaah. ‘m hungry

Ohse: (Eeeeeeeeeeh.)

Ohse: (Did he just talk to himself now?)

Ohse: (Or was he trying to talk to me? Which is it?)

Ohse: (In the case he was talking to himself then I don’t have to answer. But in the case he was talking to me then I’m obligated to respond.)

Ohse: (Which is it? Talking alone? Talking to me? I’d like for this whole tricky, “which way could it go” thing to stop!)

Ohse: (Someone please tell me the right thing to do!)

Sarukawa: Oi, what’cha doin’ over there

Ohse: (He talked to me! Eh you’re kidding me right!? Is that alright with such a shitty being as me!? Just how much of a tolerant person is he. Or rather, everyone living in this house is truly kind. Why are they going out of their way to accompany such a piece of shit. Were they all Buddha in a previous life? Is this Buddha’s house? I’m thankful beyond words. But I’m way too grateful and there’s not a single chance I can return any of this I’ll have to die immediately! )

Sarukawa: Oi, you deaf or somethin’

Ohse: (This is bad. I need to reply immediately. Why did he hear me. He wants to know what I was doing right now. I wasn’t doing anything. No, I don’t think I can answer with that.)

Ohse: (Isn’t that boring? After all, he went out of his way to talk to me. I should lead this conversation in a fun direction.)

Ohse: (Everyone’s always treating me well. I’ll have to entertain them once in a while. The other day I was such a terrible inconvenience to Rikai-san and Fumiya-san too.)

Ohse: (Yes, this might be my chance instead. Against this disadvantage where I was asked what I was doing, I’ll gather the courage to stand as the funny man. Full of gratitude I have for everyone, as a form of repayment.)

Sarukawa: Oi, I’m askin’ ya what you’re doing

Ohse: (Crap. There’s no time. Hmm- I have to say something funny…something funny…)

Ohse: (Uuuum—)

Sarukawa: You hearin’ me goddamnit! What are you doin’!

Ohse: …..

Ohse: Pooping.

Sarukawa: Aaahn?

Sarukawa: What the hell

Sarukawa: Oi you makin’ fun of me now

Ohse: Ah…ah…ah….

Sarukawa: You’re fuckin’ around aren’tcha!

Sarukawa: Who do you think I am, get your ass here!

Ohse: Uhh….uhh….WAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Ohse: OI DON’T RUN AWAY! WAIT!

Sarukawa: The hell you suddenly going on ‘bout pooping for! You ARE makin’ fun of me aren’tcha!

Ohse: I’m not making fun of you! It’s a poop to return a favour!

Sarukawa: HAAAH!?

Ohse: I was appreciation pooping!

Sarukawa: The hell’s that!

Ohse: I thought it would make you happy if it was poop!

Sarukawa: Why the fuck would I be happy with poop! You sayin’ I’m a fuckin’ idiot now or what!

Ohse: No it’s not poop but more like-

Sarukawa: You just said poop didn’tcha!

Ohse: I did say poop but it’s not poop like that

Sarukawa: Then what kind of poop!

Ohse: Just forget the poop part for once!

Sarukawa: But we ARE talking about poop right now!

(Terra opens the door)

Sarukawa & Ohse: !!!

Terra: Poop this, poop that!

Terra: SHUUUUUUUUUUT UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUP!!!

Ohse: I’m sorry I’ll go kill myself.

[memetrashmom]

a comrade humbly requests a FMK ranking of your OCs u_u

Okay I have just enough characters that I can do a reason for all of them. If I had anymore then this I wouldn't lol. Here we go!

FUCK

Benji - Beefy older man with a great sense of humor, solid income, two grown kids, AND health benefits? Fuck buddies at minimum don’t try to marry him though he’s in love with someone else and you won’t be successful.

Effie - If this is before Temperance, it is very much worth it to start up a friends with benefits situation with this valley girl type lesbian. As long as you can handle her A Whole Lot personality for more than an hour at a time. Strap game is immaculate, and she kisses like it’s the last time everytime. Gives great head.

Lonan - He is so incredibly demisexual it’s sort of hilarious, but once he gets there? Insatiable, willing to experiment, will do actual research on how to please you. Not in the marry section though because his wizard book has a whole lotta sass about literally everything and he’s such a recluse you’d never see people again.  

Mantis - Best one night stand. Strong enough to hold you against the wall or toss you around, but controlled enough to do it all without hurting you. Unless you ask of course. Will cuddle and buy you breakfast in the morning. Only downside is the ring of hickies she leaves on your neck. Also she’s poly and stupidly in love with a himbo who she sometimes forgets is also a paladin and not just a bard. Idk if he's into sharing a partner or not but that would be a fun sandwich to be in. Not in the marry section because her job is a bounty hunter and she’s nearly always on the move. 

Zimri - Sugar baby supreme, also has a split tongue and is talented enough to live luxuriously based on her skills. If you can afford a night, why not indulge? Too much personality to marry though, and her other partners are a little intimidating, some of them without really trying to be. 

MARRY

Anu- This is only an option after Rosalind’s passing, and he’s had ample time to mourn for her. He loves his wife, but as a full blooded elf he’s going to outlive her and most of their children even. He knows this, Rosalind knows this, their children know this. That being said, Anu is where Benji gets his wonderful sense of dad flavored humor and general good vibes. He’s still pretty fit despite being in the twilight years of his life, takes great joy in cultivating green spaces, and spends his free time tending to the gardens or researching in the library. He would make for a very lovely spouse.

Belladonna - Beefy ace paladin lady who will read books and cook breakfast with you. If you can put up with her being a bit of a neat freak and the occasional verbal war between her and her cousin Nessa over silly things like golf you’re in for a lovely comfortable marriage. 

Danya - MILF, high powered lawyer type, a domme, who also performs burlesque at an exclusive club. Her love language is all of them, she will spoil you with both physical affection and gifts, free health care, AND a secure retirement fund? And four dogs?? Yes.

Laura - If you can get over your MIL being a literal sea demon, a bard tavern owner for a FIL, and Laura’s three frankly intimidating girlfriends, she’d be lovely to be married to. Funny and affectionate, does her best to be there for you and support you, and will dance the night away. You won’t be bored. 

Lemon - Great baker/cook, built in healthcare, reads a whole lotta smut and is willing to test out new things, and will beat rude people with a magical spoon for you. If you can deal with her need for physical affection, her trouble saying what’s wrong without being asked, her occasional case of the Feral Zoomies,  and a MIL from hell, you’re good. She’d swing between comfy homebody buddy, to party girl, to adventuring buddy pretty easily. 

Tadhgan - He’s….he’s a little boring okay but it’s not his fault. He’s got a lucrative job lined up, fit from working the forge and volunteering in the drake guard, kind of a dork, and will do his very best to keep you happy. Give him time to get over his failed first love and you’d have a very comfortable, if a tiny bit boring marriage. 

Tsisia - She’d be fun to be married to, for her weird sense of humor and lack of shame alone. She just has really lovely vibes. Tsisia can be kind of stupid like flirting with someone by asking them to help with an itch and then just swallowing a couple of their fingers and then immediately being embarrassed that she did that but overall she has a good head on her shoulders and wants to build something long lasting and full of laughter. If you can stand the smell of hay and ozone, long hours working the farm, and the occasional midnight run with her lycan cousins, she’d be a joy. 

Olly - Out of everyone I would marry Olly. He is a bisexual tsudere, loves his family and friends, keeps bees as  both pets and a hobby, is enough of a dork he’s endearing, does burlesque shows in the same club his sister Danya performs, and is just high enough on the Bakhouzin ladder to be strong enough to keep you safe but low enough not to really be a target. His bakery manager job will give him plenty of funny stories to bring home, he’s an excellent cook/baker, has the Bakhouzin Cake, and he is an enthusiastic lover. 10/10 would marry the tsudere. 

KILL 

Adva - Old, grumpy druid snapping tortle lady who constantly asks invasive questions, and is very likely to bite the fingers or hands off of anyone she doesn't like. Kill for your own safety. 

Amaryllis, The Lion Empress - The sex would be wonderful, she’d be a doting spouse, but she did lead a military takeover of an entire nation after slaughtering the noble side of her family. Sure the slaughter was only because they tried to kill her first, but you know….that’s a whole lotta drama to deal with. Also her general is really fuckin scary, and the Boar might have a thing for her too?? Too messy. Stay far away. Modern AU would also be kill despite how soft and sweet she is there, mostly because of her two spouses.

Daffodil -She may look like a good time, but she’s got too much weird fae shit going on to be safe. The Galidians have zero risk assessment and think she’s nice because she’s a polite noble out of time. Under the flowery outdated language and ballads she’s just as likely to slay you then lay you. 

Doran - Please just put this man out of his misery. You’d make Benji cry and gain a new enemy in the Bakhouzin’s, but Doran would be so glad to have it all end. 

Labon - This 5ft tall short king is in love with one person and one person only. He also gets the zoomies which lead to biting hit and runs, eats out of the trash, sleeps in odd places, is almost always covered in bits of soot, and will cry if he goes without kisses for more than four hours. Too high maintenance. Also he keeps pigeons as pets so you will always find feathers in weird places. Oh and he takes care of a small army of street urchins, which is sweet, but he’s always busy. 

Marigold - Ace/aro very stabby tabaxi. They will stab first and not ask questions. 

Rosalind - The benefits of marrying this ancient very wealthy woman do not outweigh the danger of being her third spouse.  

Zadok, both the Bear General and Modern AU - If you think they will marry or fuck anyone other then Amaryllis or Eilidh you are very wrong. They believe those two dorks are their soulmates, and they will not touch anyone except them. 

DOUBLE KILL 

Ursula- Mean bitter borderline sociopathic abuser? Double kill. Into the fire. Also not good in bed anyway so not worth it.

[mydetheturk]

work in progress wendesday!

~~

Hal opened his phone during a dead moment. He needed a quick breath from the sheer amount of civilians delighted to see Mrs. Kent and curious as to who he was.

He could only answer, “I’m a friend of Clark’s, I’m just helping out for the season,” before he’d go mad. Someone might have glared at him, and Hal wasn’t exactly sure – it was like watching Clark and Barry be polite at one another but into infinity.

Hal’d seen infinity, once while traveling space.

He still didn’t have words to describe the overwhelming sense of how small and insignificant he was compared to that endless expanse. He now understood intimately what people meant when they said something was “awe inspiring”. It was beautiful and horrible and Hal still had shivers down his spine when he thought of it and he’d been a Lantern for years now, was a Senior Lantern, by most accounts.

Chat: Original League Lantern 1.0 [10:23 am]: I need someone with super speed to bring me my lantern Fastest Man Alive [10:23 am]: where is it? Lantern 1.0 [10:24 am]: Southwest. Probably at carols, but its possible whichever one of you dickheads CLEARED OUT MY APARTMENT didn’t give it to her Intrepid Reporter [10:24 am]: In our defense, all 2.0 and 3.0 could give us on your status was “not dead but definitely missing” and “the bastard isn’t dead but that doesn’t mean I know where the hell he is” Intrepid Reporter [10:25 am]: I’m sure you can figure out who said what Lantern 1.0 [10:25 am]: I hate each and every single one of you Lantern 1.0 [10:25 am]: I am this close to asking spooky to do something drastic for my sake Lantern 1.0 [10:25 am]: he’d do it I’m sure Lantern 1.0 [10:26 am]: he may not like me but he sure as hell would enjoy having one up on me Fastest Man Alive [10:26 am]: GL buddy don’t do anything stupid Lantern 1.0 [10:27 am]: I WILL do something drastic I fucking swear Lantern 1.0 [10:27 am]: I got fucking GROUNDED don’t test me Intrepid Reporter [10:28 am]: … I’ll ask 3.0 if he knows where it’s at Lantern 1.0 [10:29 am]: yeah good luck I’m the only Lantern in the solar system right now

Direct Message: Lantern 3.0, aka johnny Intrepid Reporter [10:28 am]: john if you’re in a place where you can get messages from earth what on EARTH did you do with the contents of hal’s place? Intrepid Reporter [10:40 am]: hm. This is a little inconvenient. I’ll update you when you get back planetside?

Chat: Original League Lantern 1.0 [10:42 am]: what did I fucking say Intrepid Reporter [10:42 am]: aren’t there farm things for you to be doing right now? Lantern 1.0 [10:44 am]: jokes on you boy scout its farmer’s market day and your mom has me manning the booth’s stock Lantern 1.0 [10:46 am]: several people who know you from high school say hi by the way. At least one person has given me a dirty look for not being you. Lantern 1.0 [10:46 am]: rude The Batman [10:47 am]: The chat function is nominally for emergencies only. Green Lantern, your Lantern is with Tom Kalmaku. Someone will retrieve it for you. Intrepid Reporter [10:47 am]: aww tell them I say hi back Lantern 1.0 [10:48 am]: I can’t believe I’m saying this but thank you spooky. Choosing Tom over Carol is a good idea, but any of the other pilots or mechanics at that ferris airfield would have worked my status is a bit of an open secret there. The Batman [10:49 am]: How you have any sort of secret identity, I have no idea. Deep Sea King [10:50 am]: not all of us are as paranoid as you or have secret identities that are as secret as yours Fastest Man Alive [10:51 am]: oh! I can make the run over Fastest Man Alive [10:51 am]: I’m not on call todayso no crime scenes for me! :D The Batman [10:52 am]: I also do not know how you have any sort of secret identity.

[ms-kio]

Acid Beats in Space

Mina Ashido, Kyoka Jiro X Clone Wars! 895 Words

Mina Ashido… Liked being a hero… But what she loved was music, and dance. Those were her passions. Twenty-Four years old, and the woman was doing her best to balance her Hero life and her stage life. She’d started a little side gig with Jiro, which quickly expanded into the ‘Acid Beats’ duo.

Said duo was now in their shared studio, Mina busting some moves as Jiro sang to one of her tunes.

“Slap me on the wrist,

tisk tisk tisk i'm trying.

I don't know why

I never grew up, and it's mortifying

Why am I so irresponsible?”

Mina was vibing perfectly with her choreography, not missing a beat, even if she had the odd feeling that something was wrong. Jiro also gave her a look when they made eye-contact, telling her that the other hero's instincts were acting up too.

Once the song ended, Mina was the one to look out the window. “What the hell!?” She yelped, falling flat on her ass. “That ain’t Earth!” The pinkette exclaimed.

Kyoka then looked out, her eyes widening before snapping the blinds shut. “You right.” The woman said. “You right.” She took a deep breath, always having been the calmer of the two. “It’s either a teleportation or dimensional quirk.” She deduced. “Or a really strong hallucination quirk.” Mina smacked her friend on the upside of the head. “Hey! What was that for?”

“Not a hallucination quirk, then.” Mina concluded. Jiro took another deep breath. “Sooooo… Should we check the place out?”

“I’ll stay here. Don’t wander too far, we don't know this place.”

“Yessir!” Mina said with a casual salute, before stepping outside. It was dark, and Mina could immediately tell that there were several classes of species, less so humans with quirks. There were also buildings stacked up on top if each other as far as the eye could see, with flying cars going up and down, and side to side.

So aliens. Mina was an alien. She was living her dream.

The pink alien wandered the streets, and noticed after a while that people were staring. Weird. Were there no bright pink aliens with yellow eyes around these parts? Evidently not. And- were people taking pictures? R u d e.

“[U-um. Excuse me, miss?]” Oh goodness, Mina almost trampled over a child.

“[Yeah kiddo?]” She asked in English. The girl was about as high as her ribcage, with blue skin and two tentacles sprouting from her skull.

“[If i’m not being rude. W-what species are you?]” The girl asked.

“[Ningen!]” Mina replied. She couldn’t remember the word in English for ‘human’, so Japanese would have to suffice.

The girl nodded slowly. “[Ningen… Thank you!]”

“[No trouble, kiddo.]” Mina watched as she scampered off to what she assumed to be her mother, not so subtly whispering in her ear. Mina chuckled, she couldn’t fault anyone for being curious. As far as she could tell, no one could really identify what she was. “Hey E-Jack, looks like Quirks aren’t a thing here. You could pass as quirkless if you hid your jacks, yea?”

“Yes, pretty easily. Why?”

“I couldn’t remember the English word for human. So, now I’m ‘Ningen’.”

“So an entirely different species?”

“Seems like it. This is a world full of aliens. Little girl asked what my species was, and then I saw another human walk by. No one looked twice.” Mina propped herself against a wall, watching humans and non-humans alike sneak glances at her. “Plus, it's not like- Oh shit, there's a hot man walking towards me.”

“Ashido, dont even think about it you fucking who-”

“Yea, I get it, I’m going!” Mina snarked back, turning on her heel and flipping her hood up once she turned a corner. Despite how tempted she was to be an insufferable flirt, Mina knew better than to throw herself into potentially dangerous and very unfamiliar circumstances. She pulled out her pocket mirror, pretending to fix her hair as she glanced at the redhead. He was still following, eyes zeroed in on her figure.

“Uh. Kyo? Hot Guy™ is still following me.” She said, “He’s talking into his wrist, I think it’s a comm system.”

“Keep going forward. I’ll link up with you in a sec, you horny idiot. I’ve got you on your tracker.” Kyoka drawled.

“[Hello there.]” The redhead greeted her as he approached.

“[Hi!]” Mina replied brightly. “[Who are you?]”

“[We’ll save introductions for later, my dear. I’m afraid I’ll have to ask you to come with me. During the war, we can't leave any unprecedented Force Anomalies alone. Especially on Coruscant.]”

“[That sounds an awful lot like a threat, sir.]” Mina cautioned, raising her fists and feeling acid begin to stir beneath her pores.

The redhead raised his hands in surrender. “[I assure you, there’s nothing to be afraid of. I just need to take you back to the temple and the other councilors have to make sure both Corescanti citizens and yourself are safe.]”

“[Convince me. Temple? You some sort of monk?]” Mina asked, much to the apparent surprise of the redhead.

“[Have you never heard of the Jedi Order?]” He asked, quirking an eyebrow.

“[Nope.]” Mina answered, popping the ‘p’. “[I just arrived here with zero explanation not thirty minutes ago. Your guess is as good as mine as to why I’m here.]” She said with a shrug. 

[brascu]

man, I love myself. (mind you, plenty of spoilers on my lovely fic, Death is always on Time)

chapter 10 had this little fight over Five wanting Klaus to bring their family to earth so they meet. Klaus is against it and he says he doesn’t want to get them stuck on the apocalypse as ghosts.

“You can see them whenever you want, but you’ll keep me alone?” Five was almost biting his lips not to raise his voice. “Just like you did to Ben, you’ll alienate me from our family?”

“hey, hey hey!” Klaus swung the gun in Five’s direction and he blinked to the other side of the room. His gut telling he was the one now to hit a nerve. “Don’t you dare bring Ben into this. There was nothing I could do.” Klaus’ voice confirmed it.

“Yet you pretended he wasn’t even there.” Five was trying to find a way to blink there and take the gun from him. Everything in that situation screamed danger, but his mouth had its own agenda on hurting Klaus. “You lied to everyone about it, you told me! You could pretty much be lying about not being able to send those ghosts away.”

“Why would I lie about it, Five?” Klaus was now standing and facing him. Five had never seen him with such an angry look on his face and he could feel a cold through his spine. “Why would I want to keep you from our family?”

“Because you were forced to share Ben and you don’t have someone to isolate anymore.” Five’s words came out on their own. Sure, it was exactly what he was thinking, but he was smarter than blunting something like this to a drunk, sleep starved, angry, mentally unstable armed person. Yet he couldn’t shut up. “Because people only stay by your side when they don’t have a better choice.”

and then, in chapter 29 he gets Ben stuck on earth by accident.

"So, let me see if I got it," Ben sighed, sitting on top of the table. "You have no idea how you brought me here?"

"Yes." Klaus drank more water, nervous, sitting on the chair by said table. "But I think it's because I really really really wanted you here."

"You've got to be kidding…" Ben shook his head. "You cried because you missed me plenty of times, but the moment you 'really really really' wanted me here" He made a mocking voice to mimic Klaus and he sounded pissed. "is because you fucked our brother and you're freaking out about it? You're the worst." Klaus nodded shyly, but he couldn't help but be happy to hear Ben's nagging. "Do you even know how to send me back?" 

He really wanted to yell at him when Klaus shrugged.

this chapter we also find out that Ben and Klaus’ relationship is more than platonic in the rudest kiss I’ve ever written. (affectionate)

...It took too long in Klaus' eyes for him to get to his hair, he knew how much Ben liked playing with it.

"God, Five fucked your hair, man" Klaus could hear his frustration to meet it all tangled up.

"Actually, he fucked my mouth." Klaus laughed and Ben couldn't help but laugh as well.

"You're disgusting." He kept trying to untangle a bit of Klaus' hair and rubbed his face against his. Klaus knew he wanted to feel the texture of his beard. Ben had always been a bit envious of it, but he liked the feel and the sound of it against his own skin. "Hey, can I taste you?"

Klaus wanted to ask what kind of bizarre question was that and maybe make fun of Ben's weird choice of words, but he had no time to do so. His brother held him by the hair and kissed him. 

Ben hugged him tighter at that and pushed him against the table they were once sitting on. Of course Klaus kissed him back, but Ben seemed too hungry for the occasion and they had more important things to deal with than a horny ghost.

"Hey, what the hell?" Klaus pushed him lightly and giggling.

"Sorry," Ben was delighted to feel out of breath. "I fucking miss you." Klaus was almost touched by the way Ben sounded, he'd usually be a bit more guarded behind some joke or rude remark. "But, god, you really should brush your teeth, you stink."

Klaus pushed him out of his personal space now, a bit offended. "Where did this came from?" Klaus cleaned his mouth at the back of his hand and sniffed it. Ben laughed.

"What? Now you got the boy and we are through?"

(this was not part of my point, but I really love that scene)

In chapter 35 Ben grasps Klaus has no intention to introduce them.

At first, Ben had thought that Klaus decided on not telling Five right away of his arrival because he was already freaking out about things and being watched by their siblings in the void. But as weeks went by and he never even saw a glimpse of his own shadow, he had started believing Klaus had no plans on introducing his two boyfriends. He wanted to believe Klaus was not actively alienating them, but his gut kept telling him his asshole of a brother was gonna be an asshole yet again.

They needed to have a talk and Ben was not looking forward to it.

The next chapter they talk about it and Ben leaves.

“When are you telling Five?” Klaus inclined his head. “About me, Klaus. When are you introducing us?” Ben wanted to breathe deep and slow as Klaus laughed.

“How about never?” He turned to grab himself something to drink. “If I introduce you two, he’d want me to bring the others too.” And probably to not look at the ghost’s pissed face.

“If you tell him you got me stuck, which is true, he won’t.” Ben walked in front of him so he’d be forced to look at him. “Why, when you told him about our siblings' relationships, you left me and you out?”

“I didn’t think it was a good idea.” Klaus chuckled lowly. “Imagine I go ‘oh, don’t worry about Benny watching, he did worse to me’, how do you think he’d react?”

Ben opened and closed his fists in the air, as if he was trying to grab patience for himself. “There are ways of saying things.” He shook his head. “That’s– you’re cheating!”

I know most readers sided with Klaus in that first argument, but I don’t think most of them paid attention to chapter 11′s Klaus and Ben’s chat where Ben agrees with Five’s reading on Klaus.

“You want to talk about it? The loversfight you guys just had?”

Klaus gave him a big ass eyeroll before turning serious. “So you watched that.”

“Haha, yeah, he went hard on you.” Ben had his arm resting on Klaus’ shoulder as he played with his hair, leaning his body against his and almost squishing Klaus against the couch’s arm. “He’s a bit right, no? About you not wanting to share him.” Klaus’ eyes shoot daggers towards him, but apparently those daggers couldn’t hurt the dead. “Don’t worry, I already forgave you. You can tell him that.”

And I also don’t think they grasped how one of the first times Klaus says Five is really important to him, back in chapter 22, is him saying that Five and Ben are the same for him.

... “See? You think it's funny too.”

“I do, but I know you’re only doing this because you’re missing him.” Five pointed to their improvised cellar so Klaus would grab a bottle for their dinner. “By your stories you guys seemed joined by the hips.”

“I sure miss him.” He grinned at the second part as he chose something for them to drink. “That's what happens when you have exactly one person with you every day for years.” He filled their cups on the table. “I miss him all the time. But you know?” Klaus gave Five his cup as he tried to see how close to eating they were. “You’re the same for me. When I died last time, I missed you like hell.”

Delores, already sitting by the table, could read Five’s expression far too well. She could see how that comment got him by surprise and how happy, appreciated and needed he felt. She knew that, in terms of Klaus’ scale, being compared – the same – to Ben was a fucking big deal and she also knew that Five low key missed the whining at night when Klaus wanted to cuddle. 

Alone for too long, Five had trouble thinking of him as someone precious. Many times he felt like Klaus was only there out of pity, or because Ben had kicked him out of heaven to look after him. This impression was even fed by himself as he forced them apart so many times and Klaus accepted it, no questions asked. And so, unarmed, Five’s face froze as he glanced back to their food. Delores was glad to see her husband feeling loved and shy.

I highlighted that phrase, “That’s what happens when you have exactly one person with you every day for years” because I think this is a lot more about Klaus than the other two.

Klaus is chaotic and lonely and people pretty much gave up on him at quite a young age. He states in the show his longest relationship went on for three weeks. People don’t stick around.

And then, there’s Ben.

(And even with Dave, Klaus was stuck there. They were both stuck there. Ten months was a real long time for Klaus. But in this universe Klaus didn’t time travel, so lets forget Dave a bit)

When in that argument Five says “Because people only stay by your side when they don’t have a better choice.”, this is the thing that makes Klaus snap.

Because, even if its not true and his relationship with Ben kept going even when they were all in the void and Ben got with Viktor too, its something Klaus feels.

Deep down, he thinks Ben would’ve never fallen in love with him if he hadn’t died. Klaus thinks Ben loves him because he was a ghost and Klaus could see ghosts. If Ben lives like a human, in his stupid little mind, Ben won’t love him anymore. To keep Ben to himself, he needs to stay dead and his. If his power over Ben made them fall in love (it didn’t), he’ll lose Ben if he loses his power over him.

And the same thing applies to Five. 

Five fell in love with him because he was the only one. If there are others, he might see that Klaus is not that great and leave him. Ben is pretty well liked by his siblings, he’s smart, he managed to get himself a second boyfriend and everyone would love him given the chance. He can’t risk losing Five.

Klaus wants them to keep being codependent because it’s ~safe~ 

My boy is toxic as fuck, but in his defense he became an addict really early and his empathy was really hurt. He had to lie and steal and he hurt everyone dear to him while at that.

Anyway, this is just me mumbling about how I’ve written this whole “Klaus is actually an asshole” arc lol

[silversweetpea]

Plus One

Word count: 2063

Pairing: Steven Grant x Reader

Summary: You were promised good company and free food. You suppose that the presence of one can make up for the other.

Warnings: Donna being rude

Author’s Note: Just a little thing I whipped up while rewatching the episodes that we have and ignoring the slow burn wip in my drafts. Seriously though I think that if I ever met someone who looked at me like Steven did Layla in that stargazing scene I would cry on the spot. Anyways this has nothing to do with any of that enjoy!

❀✿❀✿ ❀✿❀✿ ❀✿❀✿ ❀✿❀✿ ❀✿❀✿ ❀✿❀✿ ❀✿❀✿ ❀✿❀

You’ve done this song and dance before but it never gets any less uncomfortable. You hadn’t gotten your doctorate to attend black tie galas or flit from table to table talking with people who are more interested in looking like they care about the preservation of history than the actual act of doing so. Just thinking about the tiny finger food and trays of drinks that tastes like cheap rubbing alcohol to you makes your stomach turn and for a moment when you had been meticulously pinning back your hair you almost backed out. You wished that you had gotten food poisoning instead of your friend honestly.

Your outfit is new and fits like a glove but it’s not what you’re used to. You’ve always worked better in soft shirts and breathable bottoms, the dress shoes and tight top of your garment make it hard to focus on anything beyond how silly you feel. If it hadn’t been for the nerves keeping you from eating earlier in the day you were certain you would have thrown up on the drive in.

You were going to have to talk to the director about the dress code if you were asked to do this again.

The museum of course is stunning, the valet pulling away with your old car as its followed by shiny new vehicles that cost more than your flat. The doorman flashes you with a smile and a small ‘good luck!’ when he approves your ticket but beyond that no one even seems to recognize you. 

It’s fine that they don’t, in fact you prefer it, but its still annoying to have gotten so dressed up just to end up trying to find a quiet spot to linger until you have to go on.

In fact, you’re about to say to hell with it all, speech included, when you find the small table towards the side with some small goodies and an uncomfortable looking man camped out beside it.

“Hi,” You greet him as you approach, wincing when he jumps. “Sorry, this just seemed like the best spot to hide, didn’t mean to scare you.”

“No you’re-you’re fine,” he shifts, a hand tugging at the collar of his under shirt and you smile sympathetically. He’s tall, but slouched inwards, eyes roaming the people and pieces in the space as if waiting for one of them to kick him out.

“Don’t do this thing often?” He jumps again. You wonder for a moment if he’ll do that every time you talk to him. His hands come away from his collar though, just as his eyes try to find anything to linger on that isn’t you.

“No, not really.” His voice is still half of a laugh, an anxious peacekeeping noise. The man looks kind even if he’s exhausted. There’s a split second voice in your head that whispers you should go mingle with the crowd, that you were brought here to talk and it probably wasn’t to this guy doing his best not to seen.

You tell that voice you’re here to give a speech and they’re lucky you’re doing that much when your plus one bailed last minute.

“Me either. Don’t know if it makes you feel any better but your suit looks good on you.” His eyes dart to you, openly taken aback. You wonder if you have something on your face. There’s silence a beat too long and you’re about to ask if you have something on your face when he finally responds. 

“I think I look like a knob,” It’s barely more than a whisper but when you laugh the shock slowly slips from him. It’s like the shedding of a skin, the settling into himself ever so slightly. His eyes go a little less wide and a lot more open, his lips go from open mouthed to hesitantly upturned.. 

“Well then maybe its just my taste, never been the most fashionable person in the room.” You gesture at yourself and his hands come up in front of him, movements ever so slightly frantic.

“No, no you look great!” Your chest feels warm at the assurment. It had been a bit of a joke, of course, but the way he leapt into the conversation head first, so authentically, was nice. You didn’t get heartfelt from most people at these sorts of events, just careful social dances that made your head spin.

“Thanks. So, are you a donator or?” You let the sentence dangle as you look at him. His hands are calloused when you catch sight of them on their way to running through his hair, dark and messy. There are bags under his eyes that cast a bit of doubt on whether the anxiety that’s rolling off of him in waves is from the situation or his way of life.

“No, I’m a gift shopist. I’m just here to guard the, uh, the napkins.” You nod, but never let the smile drop. You don’t think you could when you’re busy thinking about someone earnestly using phrases like ‘guarding the napkins’. 

“Thank god, I was worried you’d say yes and I’d have to suddenly be interested in how to take care of a jaguar.” Its a quiet joke, but it makes him smile and your head spins. Even when it barely reaches his eyes, body still angled away like he’s ready to run, it makes his face shine. 

“The car or the cat?” you’re screwed if this guy is off the market.

“Depends which donor it is.” He laughs again but it’s more authentic. Less of a self soothe and more of a reaction. You can’t help but think that relaxation looks much better on him than fear. “I’m (Y/n).”

“Steven.” It fits him nicely. The soft beginning and quiet end, only a single sharp noise in the middle that reminds you of the drop of your stomach when you hear a bump in the night. Something tells you that he’s familiar with that drop more than most. 

“Its nice to meet you.” when you hold your hand out he takes it with only a moments pause and his hand is warm in yours. “Did you manage to get something to eat earlier?”

“All I saw was caviar and I’m-I’m vegetarian so,” You let go of his hand slower than is probably polite and faster than you’d really like to. A compromise if you’ve ever had to make one, and a shitty one at that.

“Damn I was hoping you’d spotted something else. Caviar isn’t really my taste either.” Steven ducks his head just a little and you almost regret bringing it up. 

“Sorry.” the anxious breath is back, the smile doesn’t reach his eyes anymore. 

“Not your fault.” You do your best to sound warm without being overbearing and the way that he looks up at you from his furrowed brow points towards a success so you push onwards. “If I ever do this again though I’m making sure my attendance is dependent on cheese.”

The anxiety has barely started to slip away for good when you’re interrupted again.

“Steven! What are you doing?” You recognize Donna despite not wanting to. She looks nice but her particular style of biting at people that don’t listen has never been one that you mesh with very well, especially now that she’s scared Steven back into his shell. “You should know better than to bother a guest!”

“He was keeping me company. Something that the rest of the organization group didn’t think to do.” It’s knee jerk, and rude compared to the customer service tone you usually use with her. Some combination of the tone and the pointed complaint must break through to her though given the way she immediately pales.

“I-I’m terribly sorry.” Her voice is scratchy and her throat sounds dry. its not hard to figure that it probably is after watching her swallow hard just moments before. 

“Yes, well, you should be. If I had known that it would be this hard to find good conversation I would have stayed home.” Steven shifts beside you and although you have a few other choice issues you’d like to point out you shelf them for later. You’d rather have a nice night than a productive one at the moment. “Now then, if possible I’d like to ask that, baring my presentation, I be left to the only decent conversation I’ve had all night.”

Donna nods after just a breathe, eyes averted.

“I’ll...see what I can do,” Her footsteps are the only noise in your little sector of the room until even those mix back into the fold of ambient noise.

“Huh, I didn’t think that would work.” Steven is back to that open mouthed stare again when you look at him. The adrenaline that had begun to push through your veins seemed to stop all at once, replaced with concern. “You okay?”

“Yeah, no, of course I’m just-” It’s Steven’s turn to gulp, eyes darting over you head to toe as if trying to make sense of everything all at once. “You said your name was (Y/n)?”

“Yeah, Dr. (Y/n) (L/n), I’m the professor of an-”

“ancient histories, oh my god.” His voice is little more than a gasp for air as he holds out his hand to shake yours and you let him do so once more. Your arm feels like its coming out of its socket when you smile at his enthusiasm.  “I’ve read some of your research papers. How the hell did they get you here? You’re incredible!”

He’s smiling again a there’s that silly feeling in your stomach again as you squeeze his hand. The compromise from early doesn’t feel so bad now having a second chance to hold it. 

“Well, I was promised free food and good company, found the second bit at least.” The excitement drains from him all at once, a balloon that’s been popped. He drops your hand like it burns him and takes half a step backwards. 

“Sorry,” Your heart breaks at the dejection in the way he waves his hands in front of him. “for holding you up here, I mean.” 

“Don’t be, I meant what I said,” Steven scoffs but doesn’t look up. 

“I’ve barely spoken. I can’t be that great of a companion,” You’re not sure what exactly it is about the way he says it that urges you forwards, you just know that the words are spilling out before you can stop them.

“Oh I meant about your suit. It really does fit you well.” You’re almost worried you’ve been too forwards for moment and then you hear it. His bashful laugh, the one that seems to be unsure if he should let it out or not, might just be your favorite of the night. You like the way that he looks at you too, something akin to being star struck.

You can only hope that your own flustered sense of self isn’t quite so obvious. 

The night goes smoothly after that, easier when you smooth his ruffled feathers. The only interruption to your conversation being Donna, much more reserved and distinctly more polite, pulling you away for your speech. The whole time you’re on stage thanking those in attendance and talking about the newest discoveries in the field you’re thinking about the man still lingering on the edge of the room. 

The way he seems to come to life in his retellings of Egyptian history and culture, spurred on by your active participation in the conversation. It’s nice, to hear someone else so invested in topics that have always fascinated you. You wouldn’t be a professor if you weren’t interested in talking about these things and even the parts that you know backwards and forwards like funeral rights seem new in his eyes.

The speech flies by, muscle memory for your mouth as you think about what else would bring him to life like that and before you realize it you’re done. The spotlight dimming as the house lights come up and the polite applause meets you. With little more than a smile you’re off and free for the rest of the night.

Steven is in the same place, and when he smiles with a hesitant wave, there’s a rush of certainty that you can think of a few ways to pass the time.

[snappleapple]

their favorite types of kisses

people in this - dream, georgenotfound, sapnap, wilbur, punz, jschlatt, awesamdude, quackity

headcanon!

the most disgusting fluff i’ve ever written

warning - cursing, i think that’s all but if there is more please do not hesitate to tell me :)

word count - 2k

a/n: okay okay, i might’ve lied earlier about that being my last post but this was short and easy to make which is why i would like to feed my readers this early haha. anyways, enjoy and please disregard the errors in this post, i hate proof reading anything lol. also, i’ve been very indecisive on the title and i might change it later and ooh, my masterlist will be made soon. i’ve just been feeling very unproductive these days. also, please put in requests, i am so bored and dumb therefore there are no ideas in this brain. and if you’d like a part 2, i might add more people for the part 2!anyways, peace!

dream -

i get the feeling that dream’s favorite type of kisses would be cheek kisses

he just likes to watch as you struggle to reach his height

“aw look at those little legs do their thing.”

ends up with you not giving him his kiss

and mans becomes SO pouty

“y/n…come on. don’t be this way.” :(

if you don’t kiss him on the cheek, will also become SO clingy and whiny

“why won’t you KISS ME!”

clenches his fists and stomps away like a teenage girl during puberty

slamming the door to your room

so then you have to go and give him all the kisses he wants

his face is slammed into your pillow

you sit on the side of the bed and pet his hair

leading him to stare up at you with puppy dog eyes

“i will give you all the kisses you want. so stop being so pouty, you big baby.”

will literally leave zero feet of space between you and him

taps his cheek to tell you he wants kisses

when you go on dates, will literally make you stand on your tippy toes to get his kisses

does not bend down at all and actually lifts his head higher to tease you

in other words, clingy but rude hoe

george -

george is a classic romantic

he loves just lip kisses

pecks or lingering ones

he doesn’t care

mans don’t need too many kisses

nor does he need to be too clingy

total opposite of dream and sapnap *ahem clingy ahem*

if he wants a kiss,

he will come over to you and get it

doesn’t get pouty if you’re busy

just waits patiently

doesn’t enjoy it when you interrupt him when he’s streaming so you do your own thing

when you’re watching a movie with him,

he will literally only stare at you with his cute smile

and listen to your every criticism of the movie

he likes to just peck your lips whenever he feels like it

and you’re just not surprised anymore

just likes to stare at your lips whenever you talk

overall, is very sweet but not to an extent with showing affection

sapnap -

omg

sapnap just vibes with neck kisses

it tickles his neck and he loves them

giggles when you pepper kisses along his neck and flushes a deep red

“y/n. stop.” giggles between each word

but when you do, becomes the saddest person in the whole world

“i was joking.” :(

when he’s streaming and he begins to miss you

would leave his room and find you just to get a kiss

just like dream, would get angry if you give him no kisses

“GIVE ME KISSIES!”

very amusing for you

and you love to tease him

“i don’t want to give you kissies.”

continues to stare at you with a large frown until you give in and give him kissies

lsg supremacy but i’ll get into this later hehe

you better give him kisses or you’ll be dealing with a very sad sapnap

sadnap :(

wilbur -

wilbur, wilbur, wilbur

what can i even say

total nose kiss guy

i bet he’ll boop your nose twenty four seven

asks stupid questions just to get your attention

“y/n?”

“yes wilbur?”

“is a hotdog a sandwich?”

“why-“

“boop.”

“did you just say boop while you booped my nose?”

if he’s streaming and you bring him a snack

he will hold your face still and leave kisses on your nose

not too clingy but not too distant

likes to be just right with you

if its snowy outside and your noses get red

makes dumb jokes about he is rudolph and you’re mrs. rudolph

just a lot of smooches from wilby

takes you to a lot of hidden cafes in the city

and while you read, he balances his head on his palm, staring at you in admiration

if you’re insecure about your nose, you legit can’t be around wilbur because he will go on a tangent about how beautiful it is

substantially, soft boy hours all day bro, besides when he gets mad then you leave the hormonal man tf alone

punz -

i don’t see a lot of punz on tumblr so here we go

punz loves hand kisses

not to an extent where he has a hand fetish

god no but just like

when your holding hands, he’ll occasionally pull your hand up to his lips and leave a kiss

lots of hand holding

and i mean lots

constantly gets mad fun of for being a simp but ignores those comments because he genuinely loves you so much

likes it when you play with his hair and messing it up

also likes to compare hand sizes with you

always has a hand on your thigh or your hand in his whenever he is driving somewhere with you

even when you go on dates, always holding hands

no matter how sweaty your hand gets, he will hold on

sometimes if he holds on for too long, you have to tell him to let go

“punz, my hand is super sweaty. lets take a break from the hand holding.”

would flat out decline so you would have to pry your hand out of his

he would also love it when you would kiss his hand

makes him feel all polite and precious LOL

would also wrap his pinky along yours when you walk together

he once came with you to a family gathering for christmas and was so SHY

shy boy held your hand for security while your younger siblings made fun of you

afterwards, when you were under a mistletoe, he kisses you on the lips before kissing you on his favorite part of your body,

your hand

c!jschlatt -

jschlatt is a whole mess

the first time you met, he confessed that he would hate you for as long as you lived because you made fun of his boots

now he says he still strongly dislikes you but you’re more tolerable

doesn’t like it when you make him soft and HATES it when he blushes

“why must you do this to me, mother nature?”

also “hates” it when you even touch him because he “hates” you

when he actually confessed to you that he liked you with his grumpy usual grandpa voice,

you kissed him on his forehead, after he bent down of course

he is an actual giant and threatens to squash you like an ant if he feels the need to

is an absolute monster to you but loves it when you kiss his forehead because it makes him feel secure and loved

likes to watch the wind blow through your hair and mess it up but gives you his hat because he like you being “all pretty and shit”

gets SUPER jealous when you hug children

like for example, when you went over to a family gathering at his house, his cousins came up to hug you

and when you let go of the child, the man child comes and lugs you over his shoulder

gets yelled at by his mom and gives her a sheepish smile before rolling his eyes and throwing you down on the sofa set next to him

his mom doesn’t approve of the way he treats you but you tell her its fine because he’s cute

when you are far from any type of civilization or in the safety and solitude of your own home, he wants kisses on the forehead

pointing up to it and bending down so you could reach it

“y/n, i only love you because of your forehead kisses.”

“you only love me for my kisses?” :(

“mhm.”

actually feels slightly bad

“and because of your personality.”

“thank you-“

“shut up. we don’t talk about this.”

in conclusion, give him his forehead kisses or perish

awesamdude -

sam just adores it when you give him jawline kisses

not because it’s basically the only place you could reach but because it’s a sweet gesture

sam is all about sweetness

i mean have you even seen this man on his stream

he likes to watch you while you have conversations with your friends

not in a creepy way but more like an adoring way

cause man does he love you

i mean not only does he love you but his whole family does

and when you’re alone with sam, you love to bury him underneath all of your love

“i love you sam!”

“no i love you more y/n!”

“NO i LOVE you more!”

“NO i LOVE you MORE!”

“SAM NO. I LOVE YOU MORE!”

“okay thank you sweet pea.”

leaving you a bit confused but happy that he accepts your love

when you cuddle, omg

he never stops peppering kisses all over your face and vice versa because your relationship is disgustingly fluffy

when he lends you one of his sweatshirts, you sure as hell better wear that shit out or else (i am leaving a blank threat here)

sam loves technology but you guys sort of have a system

a system that involves mailing each other love letters rather than texting them

you guys also go on a ton of walks just about anywhere

hand holding is mandatory even though you probably look like a child compared to him

just give sam lots of love and in return, you’ll receive lots of love

quackity -

mans cannot leave you tf alone

likes to do ANYTHING freaky around you

“i will follow you to the ends of the earth, mi amor.” or

“ayy, back off.” if anyone gets too close to you

messes with you twenty four seven and makes it his job to drive you insane

plays horror games at two in the morning for fun

and when he gets scared, hides in the safety of your arms

“mi amor. i’m scared.”

“shut the fuck up and sleep, alex.”

“okay.” shuts up quickly and snuggles deeper into the crook of your neck

loves you so deeply but HATES your cat

“look at that little dumb thing stare at me. you got a problem bro?”

your cat also HATES alex

scratches him all the time and hisses at him

if you think sapnap is babie, wait till you meet alex

“y/n he bit me!”

when you glance down, you don’t even see a scratch

“kiss my boo boo.”

wtf

“what boo boo? there’s nothing there.”

gasps as if you offended him

“this boo boo that your el demonio did to me.”

this man will do anything to get boo boo kisses

istg, you once found him provoking your cat to get some scratches

in alex’s mind, ouchies = kisses from y/n

always has ouchies from god knows where and shows it to you

even though you find it annoying at first, you grow used to it and it sorta becomes your thing with alex

alex is babie and you need to take good care of him :)