#or maybe i just have anger issues. idk
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I will never understand people who post tiktoks of them being mansplained to in the gym or someplace and they’re just nodding and smiling at the guy or being civil with him.. I’d end up being filmed by some bystander absolutely shrieking my head off as soon as the guy tells me I need to lose 50 pounds or that I’m doing the wrong workout
#if you approach me unsolicited in public to mansplain at me and try to tell me what to do the absolute best you can hope for#is that i’ll ignore you#absolute BEST CASE scenario is i look you up and down; go 🤢 and walk away#worst case scenario is i start screaming expletives and threaten you with a foreign object#i don’t get people!! this man is in your space being RUDE AS HELL. it’s open season!!#and you’re just sitting there going ‘oh really. great :)’#thinking he’s going to pick up on subtext and realise your smiles are not genuine and that you’re being sarcastic with him#i myself don’t do subtext very well so i always make sure no one has to guess how i feel about them#maybe i’m just too old for this shit but i’m not going to let someone insult me to my face and be polite about it#or maybe i just have anger issues. idk#the literal only time i’ve been civil when someone was being rude to me was when i worked in customer service and it was hard as fuck#you think i’m holding my shit together when i’m NOT on the clock? no#personal
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" 'Uncover your face in front of a senshi!' the man ordered. He reached forward and slapped the cowl of Halt's cloak back from his face with the back of his hand. Will drew a sharp breath, sure that Halt would react explosively to the insult. But the bearded ranger merely bowed his head again. The hand had made no contact with his face, merely catching the brim of the cowl and knocking it back."
-Emperor of Nihon-Ja, I would say the page number but I forgot and already put the book away and I'm too lazy to get it out again.
It's 1:30 in the morning and I was thinking about this because we like to joke that Halt's feral and shit, but honestly seeing this honest to god quote from the books themselves, its probably not that far from the truth.
Will, someone who has known Halt for years, was so sure that he was gonna deck this fucking dude just for knocking his hood back, to the point where he was kinda nervous about it. And it's so funny to me that it seems the only reason Halt didn't do anything was because it didn't touch him. That's the only reason. Maybe also because they were in public and in a foreign country and they were soldiers and causing a scene wouldn't be smart but that's not as funny to me
This man needs to be kept on a fucking leash or something he really is like a feral fucking animal or some shit
#based on everything we know about him#i am kinda surprised we havent seen a moment in the books where he actually has punched someone because they pissed him off#i guess you could say those apprentices he bet up or those two dudes that got moated but they seem different to me#im more talking about where it wasnt that big of a deal but someone pissed him off so he punched them#akso those moments were only mentioned not even in the actual books and im sad about that#i guess the closes was in tey when he knocked that guy off his horse for being a prick#idk i just feel we were robbed of some truly insane feral halt moments#maybe he does have anger issues or some shit#rangers apprentice#ra#ranger's apprentice#ranger apprentice#john flanagan#ra memes#halt o'carrick
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it was me i follow you because aro flag in icon and youre a self proclaimed freak idr how i found u tho. also PLEASE info dump i’m so deeply curious
those are very good reasons to follow me ngl alkadsjflkd :3 BUT okay sorry for the barrage of text you've unleashed i have a lot of thoughts and feelings about this series putting it under a cut so i don't obliterate people's dashes lmao
i'm assuming based on your anon that you're somewhat familiar with the series but in case not (and because i love being annoying <3) the goes wrong show is a british comedy about a drama society who. well. cannot put on a play correctly for the fucking life of them lmao. as of writing this it's free on youtube and tubi (though tubi actually has the season one episodes in order, most places it ends up on don't for some reason?? this does not matter that much cuz there's very little continuity in this series anyway but as someone's who's very autistic about this series it does bother me lmao), and the two specials that come before the show chronologically, peter pan goes wrong and a christmas carol goes wrong in that order, are also on youtube for free :D
in addition to the series and the two specials there's also a christmas audio special you can find on the internet archive (the christmas that goes wrong, not to be confused with a christmas carol goes wrong lol), and the play that goes wrong, which was the original entry in this series/the first in what could loosely be referred to as a timeline (again, there's very little continuity here lol). there isn't a proshot of the play that goes wrong with the og cast as far as i'm aware BUT the script is available online for free and there are plenty of community theater productions available on youtube (and someone on here mayyy have a bootleg of it with the og cast but i'm too intimidated to ask about it lmao). most of these are pretty easy to find but i have links for most of them if anyone needs them!
anyway all that aside. chris.......chris bean the diieeeerectoooor.......my beloved little gay hater who sucks so much aklsjfkldskfljdas.............it's actually really funny to look back on my relationship to this series because when i first watched it my favorite was actually dennis (whom i still love to death don't get me wrong <3) and i didn't give a fuck about chris but as i watched the show more the tides started to change and now he's all i think about :') i think there's a couple reasons for this shift, the main ones being that my love for my blorbos get a bit uhhh violent (i ❤️ whump!) and i'd feel bad putting dennis through all that in a way i don't with chris lmao, and also because when i first watched the series i wasn't paying full attention so i hadn't realized how fucking actually tailor made this freak (affectionate) is for me adkljfsalkdfjKLSJLKF
AND TAILOR MADE FOR ME HE IS he's got mommy issues (the first time i watched the mother's day promo video i instantly lost my mind ghlkadsjf), he's got daddy issues (putting aside the implied emotional distance casting your dad as the villain in a play who's not only a traitor for the nazis but also preys on one of his subordinates is actually insane and i think about it so so much), and anger issues (his perfectionist onstage tantrum throwing ass ough). he also kinda disassociates onstage (the way he sometimes just. watches things go wrong with a blank expression. he's so unwell actually <3), and there's an in character tweet of him that implies disordered eating ("another hungry night" you'll always be famous)........he's got a lot of issues and all of them are designed to scratch My Brain Specifically glkajdsfkl. if characters don't have these issues i Give Them To Them but he just. already has them. gah 🥲💞
outside of all that there's also the fact that the minute he gets the chance to force his castmates to do it with him he puts on a ballet where he plays a caterpillar who "needs to rest" and becomes a beautiful "lord butterfly" and. well. there's so so much to unpack with that play in general but ballet and butterflies are two of my favorite aesthetics so this really was an attack on me lmao. even if his costume was kind of ugly there <3 listen i never said he had good style lmao that's what dressing up in little outfits in my head is for. though in speaking of style he's also always wearing the gayest theater kid scarfs offstage?? he's so cute and annoying and pretentious and i hate him 🥰🥰🥰
these are only a few things that make me feral about him there's a lot more i could ramble about if i wanted to keep us here all day galskdfsjdlf..........he really was the perfect storm to latch onto my psyche lmao. also lbr writer/actor henry shields who plays him in the show is just kinda pretty i do love my skinny brunette men 💗 (see also my recent crushes on adam scott and andrew garfield lmao)
i've been. extremely feral about him on main as you can tell ahlkdgjsaf. people just keep rewarding me for being insane so thank you everyone for that lmao :') also it's my new year's resolution to be more freaky and unhinged on main so i'm on that putting chris through some of the worst things possible grindset 💪but yeah i could ramble about this guy forever rn i love him so much and think he's really fun to chew on like a squeaky toy so galdfjkldf
#thank you to anyone who read all of this. i'm hashtag crazy#tbh i'm holding back from saying more cuz otherwise i'll be here forever and this'll never get published HGLKDJFK#i didn't even get to him being gay ace. some of the promos and the christmas carol goes wrong tries to convince me that he likes women#but i simply don't think that's true <3 i think that's a lie he tells himself due to internalized homophobia <3#i also didn't get to the fact that he's the first blorbo in a while i've been okay with killing in fics but that's another matter entirely#the cuteness aggression i get with him is CRAZY i wanna beat him up i wanna torture him. and then kiss his bloody forehead. ough#anyway yeah thank you for the ask and letting me ramble lmao i appreciate it <333 he's my silliest guy rn i can't shut up about him rn#the goes wrong show#chris bean#ask to tag#marshy gets asks#compnion#alsooooooo maybe you found me through my severance posts cuz of the new season? or i post about trans and aro issues sometimes too#though i've been trying to be less political on main cuz i have bad anger issues myself and it's too easy to work myself up aglkdsjafkl#trying to keep a balance between being politically aware and mentally stable y'know? :')#idk i'm a yapper (clearly lol) so i've been active in a handful of tags#tgws and chris has just been my main focus lately but i've been around agldkasjflask
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re: "good girl" i think they say it once randomly as a joke and its just one of those things that gets him wayyy more than they expected it would. so now its their secret weapon and they use it very sparingly and every single time he gets super embarrassed about it but it works ill tell you what.
#HES MY PRINCESS IDEK.#i dont think it happens naturally all that much because theyre usually in the business of calling each other names and being mean#so i think this would just be a random night where theyre on top and just think it would be really funny. to yank on his leash and call him#a good girl after bullying him into doing something. and well i just think it would get him is all i dont knowwwwwwwwwwwwww#i havr a lot of thoughts on the matter but i will stop for now#but the tldr is that with each other they tend to switch frequently and are always fighting#so i think itd take someone else being in the picture for hog to even realize how much he likes being a good boy :3#and i also dont think fish would be good at straightforward domming in the way he would want and they both know that#so its something he keeps between him and rat mostly. please dont ask me questions abt jrs sex life i have too many opinions on it#anyways. i think even tho fish knows theyd be bad at that they still feel left out so sometimes they go watch. they dont get anything out of#doing that theyre just sort of taking mental notes#all of this circles back to i think fish has always been the more sexually experienced of the two. and romantically.#i dont rlly think hog is a guy who dates i dont think hes ever been that and i dont think he made much time for hookups#(i think its cute if hes a virgin when they meet but 🤷 im not solid on it)#but i think for him hes just only ever fucked this one person and they do a LOT of stuff and it gets the job done so hes just never really#tried anything else. but. and again i have too many opinions on this but i think rat wouldnt be into their usual shteeze#i think hes a bit of a freak in his own way but the blood and weird anger issues is just not doing it for him most of the time#but i do think if given the opportunity he would LOVE to be The Boss for a little bit so i think he and hog can explore that together and it#will work out beautifully for them. this is great because i am not into strict d/s dynamics like that but i know in my heart that hoggy#would be. and i cant do that for him#again i think fish would be butthurt about this. mostly in a 'why didnt u tell me so we could try this :(' and he would go#'because you would suck at it and wouldnt like it' and they go oh. right. well im still mad#ANYWAYS. circling back. i think the good girl thing would be something fish knows that rat doesnt. and idk if theyd tell him or not#because i do think if they tell him he is using that for evil hog is going to be a good girl forever and ever. rat doesnt have the patience#to space it out the way fish does. which idk maybe thatd be good for hog he could work through some stuff...#but on the other hand i think its fun if they DONT tell him and just bust it out sometime when all 3 of them are doing the deed. or whatever#because again they mostly like how embarrassed he gets about it and i think he would be reallyyyy flustered by it#^ this is essentially part of my fantasy about spitroasting my beautiful wife until he cries just so everyone knows#idk i just think when he lets go of himself hed be a very cute and kind of needy subby bottom and i think hed be really easy to fluster#about it and i want it so bad
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When you don't know if your anger issues are bc humans just naturally aggravate you or if you have mental issues so you just blame the periods
#pms#anger issues#humans suck#how does one go about having normal interactions with humans while trying to subconsciously not hate them for every little thing#like I know not everything can be a pet peeve right#or maybe everyone has to mentally scold themselves for instinctively hating people#I say its anger issues but then stutter and want to disappear when its an authority/elder figure that appears#personal rant#mental health#you can do it#like idk maybe one day we can afford therapy#what if this is just a side effect of being asian
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fighting yowai....
#what must it be like to be 10 years old only child#and then suddenly you have a little sister that eberyine adores and fawns over#like i just kniw they spoilt totoko so bad (canon) and neglected fighting for it (my delusion)#he probabky tried to bully her and got heavily reprimended by his parents for it#probably would lead to him still being childish at 20... suddenly not getting attention anymore -> regression and acting out#maybe anger issues too. hence boxing#idk. i feel like he mustve grown upcresenting her to some degree#little girl who gets everything#i mean their parents did let him live at homr still at 20 but that seemed contingent on him inheriting the fish shop#idk. im hallucinating. im delusional. but man. what must their relationship have been like...#now that theyre both adults they can get along as equals. but oh.. the gaps from childhood they cant fill#considering their age difference i wonder if they even felt like family at a certain point....#tragedy of the spoilt girl and her forgotten brother....#the way it ruined theur lives (potentially) in different ways#sorry. im thinking too hard abt it im hallucinating. sorry#aughhh i love totoko as a study of a spoilt girl grown up though#the sextuplets and her both pampered as kids and never grew up#vs fighting at 20 who wanted to be an adult but didnt want to grow up.. now with child..#potentially reconnecting w parents for first time in years??#sorry. im thinking too much abt a character who showed up for 3 seconds. sorry#sorry i started relating the character w 1 manga appearance to my own personal familial dynamics and now im invested. sorry
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HEY! HEY YOU!
STAY SAFE!
EAT FOOD!
DRINK WATER!
LOOK AFTER YOUR FUCKING SELF!!!
BECAUSE THE WORLD IS SHIT AND YOU ARE AMAZING!!!!!!
I DONT TOLERATE LOSING ANGELS!!
YOU FELL ONCE, I WONT LET YOU FUCKING FALL AGAIN!
CAPEESH??
#Aggressive love#Aggressive affection#Idk I just feel aggressive and loving at the same time#Do I have anger issues? Maybe
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three months until i get to go back to school. i can deal with three months.
#boink#it's been two weeks and it's already just so taxing#like school is stressful too but at least it's sort of self contained#at least i'm somewhat in control of things#i know i'm not really an adult yet#but the last two semesters of relative independence#well i appreciated being able to just do things#like being able to decide when to eat#going places without having to wait to get approval first#like obviously i had a rough school year#but at least the consequences and events were organic#like i could fuck up my classes without having to come home to people getting mad at me for arbitrary things#like my mom just got mad at me bc i knocked on the bathroom door to loud#i'm anxious atm bc the house fan is on and the noise stresses me out so maybe i did knock too loud idk#but anyway she comes into my room and starts freaking out about anger management issues#which yeah honestly true enough#but like. not about this?#i am just overstimulated fam#i wasn't angry and i didn't even interact with anyone before i got shit for wanting to close my door and calm down a little#so anyway#stuff like that#little decisions and motions and things#i just prefer being on my own ig
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I ❤️
IN-BETWEEN ARC EPISODES
#shanks!!!!!! always wonder what is wrong with him to be an emperor..... bc big mom is severely strong and powerful and insane since birth#kaido can't even kill himself so same thing. blackbeard has the end all be all of devil fruits and then shanks is just there.#something smells fishy#they spent all the budget on the musical now we are back with this animation ajdhak#well baby luffy cameo.... always thinking about luffy being a good swimmer.... the anchor t shirt is a foreshadowing ajdhskdjks#yasopp talking about his son.... WELL WHERE IS HE????#maybe shanks power is being an alcoholic..... who knows....#luffy calling shanks pathetic is so funny this kid has anger issues.... his powers reveal is so funny ajdkajak to this day....#i was gonna be pissed about the flashbacks but little luffy is too good#this is my fucked up theory about shanks is that he gives up his arm and his hat when luffy eats the fruit.... idk why yet ill figure it ou#lmao but HOW do you leave a kid with a devil fruit just there.... he must have known who his grandpa is or smth.... like garp muat have wen#after him for an explainatiom or smth#shanks doing two 180 spims before putting the hat on luffy... the pizzazz.... the drama.....#well what was i saying.... evil shanks or smth... hidden intentions idk.... why isnt shanks pirate king yet... suspicious....#MAKINO HAS A BABY... and back to ad breaks... another asexual reproduction specimen see.... i know i am right#REIJU GAVE LUFFY A RAID SUIT FOR SANJI AKDHAKDJKS#him wearing black clothes..... like shirt and everything....#sanji saying they already have franky to be weird akdhaks#NAMI KEPT ZEUS!!!!!!!!! FIRST SLAVE AND SANJI IS JEALOUS AKDHAKDHSKSJ 'I WAS THE FIRST SIMP!!'#but with part of her soul being away form big mom.... how.... she is coming back for that#luffy planned everytjing HAHAHAHHAHA oof bonneh on the sidelines of the paper... i know i know....#sanji realising his rep went up bc of germa ajsjahdj where is namis bounty??? and luffys????#back to the reverie.....SHIRAHOSHI IS GOING YEAAAAHHHH (bc luffy might call her weak again no other reason)#crocodile smiling at the paper... i see you#cavendish and barto spreading gossip ajdhak garp must be fuming!!!!#LUFFY IS THE FIFTH YONKOU??? ALREADY!!???? i said he has no territories....but maybe gyojin island counts#just saw a comment saying makinos child is shanks b plan in case luffy fails akdhaksjk#talking tag#watching one piece#episode 878
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i wont rb a big post abt fatphobia in medical situations bc. it makes me upset. but ill say that despite never bringing my weight up the past few times ive gone to my doctor (who im seeing for things like high blood pressure/heart rate and anxiety) shes mentioned me either gaining or losing weight and focusing on that. girl im at fucking stroke risk because of my blood pressure can you do something about that
#im on medication for both + there is. maybe stuff? abt weight and blood pressure. but bub is taller And skinnier than me and also has#blood pressure issues. just like me. and riz. and Our Dad. Maybe It's Genetic#idk. im not doing so hot today so i have to get this anger out somehow#k1.txt
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#can I just release my anger and frustrations out? lol#sooooo an argument happened bet me and my twin#am gonna fucking tell my side okay?#today i got another appointment with an ent#and sooooo I did what i can do with chores before I leave#and okay there was supposed to be someone whose coming here today to do laundry and she is late#and my twin asked me to call someone who knows the one who did the laundry and I DID#i was getting ready and all of a sudden my twin cursed me out and got angry with me#all of a sudden#I was so confused#then since i didnt know what she was mad about i just kept quiet and then she asked me what's the number of that someone who knows the#laundry girl..she said that to me in an angry tone..i told her I already called and she coulve asked me normally about it#but she is mad and suddenly called me paranoid and all that shit? and am like where is this coming from?#she thought that the laundry girl wont make it and since am leaving for quite some time she will be the one who will do laundry#and I told her if that's whats making you mad you dont have to do it..call mom and tell her if the laundry person isny gonna come she will#find smone else and she said no if I wont do it no one will and am like ?????? but i was so frustrated atp i was yelling back madly lol#and now i realized that maybe she was mad at me coz she is left with some household chores since am gone for a while? coz of my appointment#but she still mad at me though and I also am and I dont think i can ever ever talk to her again#like seriously i thought it was just the phone call but she has all other issues with me and i dont understanf#i feel so bad and am mad and idk am just crying rn#idk if am the one in the wrong#like seriously#this is so long but idk where to dump this shit
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no bc this is 90% true (for me personally) bc the “young” people tutorials always get on my nerves and sometimes the “old” people also get on my nerves only if they do the stuff in the 1st example
like hurry up _____ irdc how to do ______ JUST SHOW ME HOW TO DO ______ THATS THE ONLY PART I CARE ABT
then i either skip to the part i need or i rage quit and do smt else and try again later
knitting tutorial made by a twenty-something knitting influencer: 18 min long, 12 of those minutes being the intro and a sponsor plug, they show the first few steps of the tutorial at the slowest speed known to man, they show the most important steps at a neck-break speed, they stop every five seconds to talk about what they just did, 40,000 comments filled with questions ranging from insightful to “how do i knit”, filmed with a camera that costs more than a car, the tutorial is incorrect.
knitting tutorial made by a seventy-something grandmother: two min long, filmed 17 years ago, shows you what you want with the skilled patient hands of a beloved deity, made with the world’s shittiest camera, the best video on the fucking internet, four comments and 30 views, you lose the video and never find it again.
#maybe i have anger issues or i’m just inpatient idk and idrc#the pain i had trying not 2 over abbreviate everything
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For some reason my major part of the character development process primarily runs off of the thought: 'wouldn't it be funny if...'
#idk man#The idea of Katzen#this guy who's grown up in exile who has all these issues with anger and revenge and resentment#comes around to his humanity again because of#*spins wheel*#uhhu Nadya's blinded cousin#i just think they're neat#Hildegard doesn't know him- but he thinks he knows her#so immediately you have something both of them like- a fresh start beyond the horror of the past#but because Nadya talked about her family of course Katzen isn't going into it completely blind- which makes him feel less insecure#which is something he desperately needs#anyways#I think he'd be head over heals for her. he'd move mountains for her. she is the sun in his sky#meanwhile Hildegard slowly comes around to him. he's... suprisingly interesting? he doesn't see me as just an extension of Edeltraud?#he'll sit with me and read to me? he'll just talk to me?? is it possible that someone likes me?#(Also I don't think 20 and 25ish is too bad an age gap. especially when I previously planned on having Siv and Mull be a thing)#I don't know if they'd have a family or not. Giving Anastasia a (younger) cousin would be fun. I'd imagine that Katzen would be... an#interesting father. Hildegard would have some issues but I think that would make her extremely protective of a child#IDK I've done no work on what happens after the main story so maybe there's a place for a Hildekat kid somewhere
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#anyone want else actually have a healthy relationship with your phone/the internet#i dont feel damaged by my time online and dont find it difficult to do other things because of my phone?#it can make executive function worse but also can trick me into functioning so net zero there#i get good social interaction to supplement my natural alone nature and it reminds me to see people in meatspace too?#i spend most of my time enriching myself or engaging with my special interest#both very healthy??#idk i just#is it the internet making people miserable or the issues they are hiding underneath the internet#stop acting like its haha funny and maybe address your disassociation or anger management or whatever problem youre using the internet#to exacerbate
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You guys do not appreciate Gaz enough so I’m here to sell him to you
this shit is important so yall better read
I truly don’t understand the lack of Gaz love -

ok well
I do at some level
I think the argument usually levied against his character id that he’s boring
but beautifully stated by tumblr user mockerycrow in their character analysis of him
CHARACTERS DO NOT HAVE TO HAVE A TRAGIC BACKSTORY TO BE INTERESTING CHARACTERS
press keep reading to fall in love with Gaz
Who is Gaz?


I’m going to start out with who Gaz is as a character
morality
Gaz is someone who has a strong sense of morality and struggles with the balance between doing the right thing and doing the morally right thing, there’s this debate between long-term morality and situational morality that Gaz struggles with
look im maybe not the most linguistically talented person on earth so im just gonna throw in a few quotes which i think gives Gaz

Gaz is someone who admist chaos and war is trying his best, trying his best to be a good person, to be reliable and to do the right thing
if thays not lovable idk what is



relationship to price
ok so i think this aspect of Gaz’s character is what people tend to focus on
and as much as the omg price’s son shit is cute i think he’s become a vehicle for people to emphasise price’s daddy factor (which like dont get me wrong keep up the good work)
but i think theres so much more to that
i forgot who wrote this but someone said something about Gaz trying to follow in impossibly large footsteps and i think thats so accurate
going back to Gaz’s struggle with morality there’s so much untapped potential in the idea that his idol, may not be an amazing person, having to come to grips with the idea that Price, his role model can look at a woman and child as interrogation leverage is something that i think people need to look into more

OK so now
Untapped Potential

so here are somethings which i
idk if this is like the correct phrasing
headcannon? idk i just think these are parts of Gaz’s character which could be rlly interesting to explore
ahem
yes Gaz is a good guy, but that doesn’t make him passive Gaz has shown moments of anger, like in the interrogation with the butcher when he lunges at him or when him and price first meet
i think the fact that Gaz is so calm and collected but has these moments are cracks in the facade he creates
i believe personally he has a lot of repressed anger whether it be at the world, at himself, at his captain hes an angry dude hes just better at keeping it under wraps
and i know we don’t really have many details on his backstory but cmon there’s no way u sign up for a job like this and don’t have any issues whatsoever
i think this quote is so good for this because he’s harnessed his anger, it’s what makes him good at his job, a knife, a weapon

i think another interesting concept for Gaz is guilt
the fact that he cares about whats right and wrong how does he feel going to sleep at night? do these things haunt him? is he irredeemable?
i think its like that one quote “the dog that weeps after it kills is no better than the dog that doesn’t. My guilt does not purify me.”
Final Thoughts
anyways guys thanks for coming to my ted talk
i know this was really messy but i just want to encourage some Gaz love because i think he’s a really interesting complex character who we just need to dig a little deeper into
i hope this incites some more gaz love
THANK YOU 😳
#kyle gaz garrick#gaz#kyle garrick#gaz garrick#kyle gaz x reader#kyle gaz garrick x reader#call of duty#cod#call of duty modern warfare#cod mwf2#mwf#simon ghost riley#john soap mactavish#john price#cod mwii#gaz cod#ghost cod#price cod
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Also wtffff pay attention to me :(((
.. The (not too long lasting) urge to ghost people just because they don't give me much attention or/and don't respond to me right away, plus projecting my insecurities onto them/fearing their possible hidden judgments - is Real.
#🎤🛜#Yes I know people have lives + people care about me + my brain is going blank but basically ik the world doesn't revolve around me#but sometimes I wish it did a bit whenever I'd want it to#OH and when I'm feeling socially insecure/getting rejection sensitivity dysphoria big time#I wouldn't ghost someone ever unless if like.. They were dangerous to my wellbeing or some shit.#+ I value talking things out/regulating my emotions/the good stuff y'know?#beung honest and vulnerable whenever I'm ready/feel safe enough#being*#-- Or sometimes instead of that urge I just feel sad or mild anger + ''>:p fine!! Meanie ass/fuckhead... 🙄'' + once in a while mild#arrogance - the arrogance/superiority thingy (idk what to call it) only really happens towards ppl I remember who've hurt/made me feel#really insecure in some kinda way#though. Also - this is coming from a person who's more humble and rarely tries to attention seek (or.. Maybe just overtly?)#Hell - I used to think I was *better* than attention seeking people and couldn't stand it. Now I can understand mult. reasons why ppl do#that though and don't think so harshly about it#btw Yes ik what cognitive distortions are!... Gonna add that to my pinned post actually#What having a minimal amnt of socialization/semi-involuntary isolation and ableist xps/trauma/double empathy issues does to a mf
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