this is let grief do its work, a fic (currently unedited rip) I started as a kind of sister fic to hand on my stupid heart, another fic I'd written earlier and uh. yeah. you guessed it. haven't finished.
I'm working on this on the side, Flying Over the Pit of Death + its sister fic & my original novels being my main focuses right now. I will most likely continue lgdiw sometime in the future, it just isn't my main priority. Like all of my fics, this idea is free for anyone to take & run with. if/when I finish this fic, the edited version will go on ao3.
For context: this is just a prologue of sorts, depicting vaguely what is happening on the human side of the Portal the month after the Accident. On Danny's side, he's been chillin' in the Ghost Zone, where he ended up after half-dying, believing he's fully dead (he's not) & only realized he's still alive after it was too late for him to tell everyone what happened cuz like, awkward & embarrassing lol. HOMSH takes place a year later, when things come to a head. I feel it's important to reiterate that, although Danny isn't actually dead, the characters think he is & act accordingly.
okay author's infodump note complete, fic under a readmore
“when they first go,
let yourself think every selfish, no-good, dirty, angry, filthy, horrible thought. let the waves of anger wash through you.
let grief do its work.”
ーCaitlyn Siehl; Grief Counseling
On the first day, Sam had thought that, maybe, Danny was just busyーtoo busy to answer their texts, and their calls, and everything else. But then Tucker called her. It was a horrible game of telephone at first. Danny’s parents told Jazz, who told Tucker, who told Sam, and that’s how the communication went for two days until she and Tuck had enough.
They went to FentonWorks, the big, ugly building on the corner of Mockingbird and Cedar, and were surprised to find no one home at all. Not even Jazz. And, for the first time since they’d known the Fentons, the doors were locked. And when they tried to talk to Jazz later, they would find that they’ve officially filed a police report.
ー
Danny Fenton is missing. The last time Sam talked to him she was making fun of him, for being too scared to go check out the Fentons’ new Ghost Portal. She knew he was freaked out by stuff like thatーby ghosts. Now she doesn’t know if she’ll ever see him again.
There’s just no way. He can’t be gone. She literally saw him on Saturday. His empty seat in homeroom on the first day of school is the thing that does it. There’s this gap in the desks where he should be, but he’s not. Like he’s already haunting her.
It makes her sick. Everythingーeverything in her head, everything she knows. Despite what Dash and his asshole friends say, Danny wouldn’t run away. And the longer a person is missing, the more likely it is that they’reー
Sam doesn’t wait for the bell. She leaves Tucker in homeroom, goes straight to the bathroom, and wipes her face down in the sink, water turning black. Suddenly, everything macabre, everything dark and creepyーit just disgusts her.
She goes home early. No one even says anything, not the school, not her parents, not Tucker. Alone in her room, Sam starts to shake. She sobs once, something seething just under her skin. She stalks over to the wall where most of her horror movie posters are taped and starts tearing them down, one by one.
ー
Danny Fenton has been missing for a week, and Tucker, staring at the sweater his best friend forgot at his house, laid across his computer chair, thinks he’s starting to feel it.
Opening his phone, he feels it again. Looking at his texts, he feels it again, and again, and again.
Saturday • 4:47 p.m.
Danny Phantom: xD
Danny Phantom: not playing tonight, ghost portal opening night 👻
Danny Phantom: can play tmrw tho
Too Fine: hell ya txt u then
Danny Phantom: 👍
Sunday • 10:20 a.m.
Too Fine: yo still up 4 doomed
Too Fine: dued
Too Fine: dude*
Too Fine: you there
Sunday • 10:21 a.m.
Too Fine: txt me when you wanna play
Sunday • 11:58 a.m.
Too Fine: you up?
Tucker lets his phone fall on his bed. He doesn’t bother checking in with Sam. She’s been out of school and ignoring him for the last three days. It’s almost been a week sinceー
He gets up and stumbles to his chair. He sits down, careful not to mess up Danny’s NASA hoodie. Tucker turns on his desktop, types in his password, checks his emails. He messes around for as long as he can before he literally cannot take it anymore. He just can’t ignore it.
God. His best friend is gone. Is he coming back? Is heー
It’s like something inside his chest cracks. Without thinking, he pulls the NASA hoodie into his lap, and then over his head. It’s been here too long. It still has that smell of ozone and copper on it, though.
Tucker leans back in his chair and stares at the wall.
ー
Danny was home. That’s the thing. The last time Jazz saw him, he was inside the house, and she never saw him leave. He must have, at some point. She has no idea why, or for what, but he must have. It’s the only rational explanation. Danny left. Something happened. He never came home.
She feels the panic rising, gripping her throat again. She puts the candle down on the bleachers. Wipes her face. Whoever is speaking to the crowd of students holding vigil is a mess of white noise in her ears. It doesn’t help. It should and it doesn’t. A lot of things are the opposite of what Jazz knowsーthought they are.
She almost wishes it had just happened at home, been a little less drawn out.
As soon as it pops into her head, she feels sick, disgusted at herself.
But no one goes missing this long and lives. A very small percentage do. And if it had been some accident in the lab, like she always feared would happen, at least they’d have a body to mourn. At least they would know.
ー
Sam’s parents pretend they aren’t happy. They have to look worried, grieving, because what would the neighbours think if they didn’t? She can see through it, unlike them. They always hated the Fentons. They always hated Danny. They always hated Sam’s fascination with the macabre.
Well. They got what they wanted.
It’s like he’s in everything. She isn’t even looking for him, and he’s still there, still everywhereー
Sam rubs her eyes on her sleeve before she can properly cry. There’s no body. He could still come back. A month is a lot, but he could stillーhe could show up. Someone could find him alive. He could be alive.
Her parents look at her from across the lavish, stupidly large, solid wood table. She should know what type of wood it is but it’s like the information is behind a fogbank. She can see the silhouette. She just can’t make it out. Mom places her cutlery down neatly, dabs her mouth with a cloth napkin, and clears her throat.
“Sammy-kins…” She starts, and the rage inside Sam bubbles up like lava bursting through rock. “There’s been… We…”
She looks to the side for help, from dad. He looks incredibly awkward for a moment before turning to Sam with an expression she hasn’t seen since grandpa died.
“Saman… Sam.” He says, simply, slowly, and the lava in Sam’s gut turns cold, and heavy. “They’ve found evidence that has given them reasons to believe that… your friend is gone.” He’s never spoken this softly. Ever. His voice is barely audible above the blood rushing in her ears. “They’ve called off the search.”
ー
Tucker didn’t expect nightmares. He wakes up and he panic-cries into his pillow and hopes to whatever god or deity is listening that ghosts in dreams aren’t real. He can’t explain the fear. Everything is incredibly normal, more normal than his dreams ever have been, and then Danny walks in.
He would give anything for this to happen, right now, in real life. He’s afraid, though. In his dreams, a sheer terror overcomes him. He can’t get away fast enough. He can still hear his own voice echoing in his head. “You’re dead! You’re dead!”
It’s a wrongness he can’t quite graspーor doesn’t want to. He doesn’t want to be afraid of his best friend. Tucker wants him back so badly. But his brain knows the truth, even if Tuck is digging his heels in and refusing to budge.
Someone knocks on his door, and he tenses.
“Tucker, sweetie? It’s…” Mom takes a deep breath. “It’s time to go.”
He grits his teeth and shoves his face into his pillow so hard he can’t get air. He stays like this until he can’t. He gets up.
Tucker walks across the floor like a zombie, barely aware of what he’s even doing. He manages to put on the suit his mom put out for him yesterday, and goes downstairs. He refuses breakfast. The three of themーmom, dad, Tuckerーgo out to the car, and drive to his best friend’s funeral.
ー
Jazz stares at the closed casket. There’s a pair of police officers out of uniform, or maybe detectives, standing in the corner by the photo album laid out on a table looking haunted. Aunt Alicia, uncharacteristically wearing a plain, black dress, sits with mom and dad at the other side of the room. Jazz stares at the casket and she tries to imagine that it’s not empty. That it isn’t making her scream inside with the frustration of it all. Her baby brother is gone. They couldn’t even find him. And probably never will. Because that’s how these things end.
Tucker walks into the room. Dark bags circle his unfocused eyes. His parents are right behind him, his father’s hand on his shoulder. Tucker looks at the casket. He turns away, catching sight of Jazz, and when his parents break off to meet hers, Tucker walks over.
He picks at his sleeves. Says nothing. Jazz tries to pick at the grief counseling she knows she’s studied for fun, but finds herself falling short.
She doesn’t see Sam or Mr. and Mrs. Manson walk in, but suddenly they’re there as well, smiling tightly and giving their condolences to Jazz’s parents. Sam doesn’t walk over. She stands in a corner and stares at a wall with purpose.
Jazz breathes slowly, willing her heart to stop pounding. She counts the stages she can see in front of her.
Too much Acceptance, all from strangers who never even knew him personally. She glances at Dash Baxter, tugging on his tie and looking annoyed. She can feel Anger in her. But also Denial. Bargaining. Depression.
And somehow, Acceptance, too.
They’re not stages. She never really got that before. You feel them all at once, all the time, and they don’t go away. The intensity changes, turning from a background hum to bright bursts of emotion at any little reminder.
She looks at Tucker out of the corner of her eye. She wonders if he’s feeling that way too. Being bombarded by the stages of grief in a way no one prepared them for. Is this why mom and dad never let them get any pets? Besides Danny’s gerbil, which promptly disappeared before she could even get used to the rodent’s smell. What happened to it? Was it rehomed, or is its body still somewhere around the house, unfound, unlooked for?
The stages start over, skipping between Depression, Anger, Denial, the emotions falling over themselves. She wished the cops would leave.
Not soon enough, it’s over. The funeral home employees usher them out, the rooms and halls now empty. The drive home is simultaneously the longest and shortest ever. She stares up at the brick and all she wants to do is sleep. She heads inside intending to do just that.
She takes her shoes off at the door. Mom and dad take off their jacks and move to settle in the living room. Mom is holding a tissue to her eye. Jazz hesitates for just a moment.
Should she do something? She feels like she should do something, anything. She wants to suggest therapy. She’s afraid to open her mouth, though. Jazz can feel the blame on the back of her tongue, ready to spill out. That would be the worst thing for her to do, and she doesn’t know if she has the strength to hold it back, because for fucks sake, if they just watched their children, this wouldn’t have happened.
Jazz turns to the stairs and starts climbing them. She doesn’t get halfway before she’s blinded by drywall dust and knocked off her feet.
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What is first war Delphi’s biggest fear then?
It was horribly loud.
The little witch jumps up, she and the elf both startling at the bang. Violent voices are quick to follow, booming down the corridors. An eerie magic descends upon the estate, something Delphini has never felt before. It surrounds the castle grounds as though keeping something out - or someone in.
“You stay here, Mistress Delphi. Tippy will go check on the visitors..” The house-elf disappears in a pop.
Something isn’t right. More screams follow, deafening bangs as if furniture is being strewn about.
The little witch takes a few hesitant steps backwards. The noise seems to be getting closer, frantic footsteps echoing down the hall. There’s another bang, this time right against the door.
Delphi darts, hiding behind the expansive desk papa had just sat at days ago. Mama left to go find him… To make sure the bad guys didn’t have him... She’d left Delphini alone with the elf late last night.
The little witch peers around the desk, watching as the handle to the door abruptly turns.
“Delphini!”
It’s Mama!
She’s up and running to Bella in a flash. Quickly, her mother slams the door shut. Delphini can still hear the echoing shouts of Uncle Rody, the screams of other wizards she does not recognize.
“Mama!” She yelps, catapulting into anxious arms. She has so many questions but is far too frightened to voice them. There’s banging again, someone else is trying to get into their room.
Her mother’s wand is hot from use, perched protectively against Delphi’s back. Bellatrix smells like smoke, her magic buzzing around her more frantic than Delphini has ever felt it before.
Mama’s scared.
Delphini doesn’t know what to do.
Hastily, Bellatrix surges forward towards the large windows. She’s favoring her left leg. Delphini notices blood seeping down the back of her robes. Something is very wrong.
“There’s wards!” A gruff voice shouts just on the other side of the door.
Delphini is locked in her mother’s arms, head tucked against a slender shoulder as she watches with wide eyes as four wizards barrel into their rooms.
The bad guys…They found us!
She’s frozen in fear but mummy is not. With a wave of mama’s wand the windows along the back of the room shatter, it’s a steep drop to the grass below. She thinks mama is about to jump but something stops her. Before Delphini can process it, a wave of red flies by, Bellatrix twists them out of the way just in time.
“There’s a child!” One of them screams, her mother’s hold is near suffocating. In a flash Bella's wand is raised and ready, eyes bouncing from one Auror to another. Several more of them begin to funnel into the room.
“Don’t you move, Bellatrix!” A new angry wizard screams - he only has one eye. More wands than Delphini can count are pointing at them now. “There’s no escape - the manor is surrounded, there’s an anti-apparition ward cast over the entire estate. It's over.”
Her mother is panting, heart racing so loud Delphini can hear it. The little witch’s eyes immediately fill with tears, so gripped with fear she can’t manage a sound. Slowly she turns in her mother's arms to get a better glimpse of these monsters. Bellatrix reaches up to shield her face, turning to try and hide her from view.
“There is no record of a Lestrange child… We weren’t briefed on this.” The youngest of the bunch speaks up, his teeth sharp.
“Put that girl down.”
Another steps closer. Bellatrix flinches away, arms protective around Delphini. She grips her mother’s robes tightly in return, her own arms shaking around Bella’s neck.
“Put her down, Bellatrix. No one else needs to get hurt today.”
Her mother responds with a savage curse.
Two of them are on the ground before Delphini can catch up, the rest on the defensive. A stray hex manages to slip through her mother’s shields, cutting along her sleeve and leaving a line of blood in its wake.
“You can’t duel her! There's a child-”
The one-eyed Auror growls in response, quickly sending another of her mother’s cursing spiraling back at them. Bella ducks, bringing them to the ground. The curse shatters a different window, glass spraying across the room.
Delphini sobs as shards rain down upon them.
“Give us the girl, Bellatrix!”
Mummy is crying too, silent tears rolling down her cheeks.
The only thing standing between them and the near infinite number of Aurors is her father’s large ornate desk.
Time stops, no one is sure how to react. Bellatrix lets out a shuddering breath, her hold around Delphini strengthening.
She’s up again, a powerful curse soaring through the study and slamming into three of the closest Aurors. She's turning, a perfect blockade of defensive spells cast to protect their exit- Bella’s back leg gives out on her. The seeping blood from earlier now pooling beneath mummy’s robes. Another sob.
The next thing to go flying is her mother’s wand. It almost happens in slow motion, Delphini’s eyes following the arc of the wand before it lands in one of the wizard’s open hands.
“It’s done, Bellatrix.” Before she can try and run again they have her ankles bound, knees crashing against the floor Delphini had just been playing on. She gasps, still clinging to her mama, shielding her tears against Bella’s collarbone.
This can’t be happening.
Angry feet hurry forward. She can feel mummy’s nails digging into her back.
“Don’t touch her.” Bellatrix spits, her arms impossibly tight. Delphini is too terrified to look.
“Hand the girl over.”
Delphini feels a strange hand probing her shoulder, Bellatrix twists, freeing her daughter from the man's grasp with a vicious snarl.
“No!” Several more step forward, rough hands along her mother’s shoulders. “No!” Wandless magic sends one of them backwards, slamming into the ornate desk. “No!” Delphi isn’t sure who is screaming, her or mummy. “No!” One has Delphini by the back of her dress. “Please - don’t!”
“Mama!” She shrieks, little hands tearing at Bellatrix’s robes as she is ripped out of her mother's arms.
Her mind refuses to process it, arms still stretching out, reaching as hard as she can for mama. Slowly, she sees the horror creeping into her mother's eyes. Bellatrix looks as terrified as Delphini feels. Vaguely, she feels an unfamiliar arm wrap around her stomach.
The world comes crashing in on her all at once.
“NO!”
The little witch thinks she might be screaming but it seems so hard to hear anything at all.
Distantly, she's aware she's wailing against the wizard who is still struggling to get a grip on her. Slamming her little fists all over him, sharp nails and harmful bursts of magic wherever she can reach.
Delphini has never been so frightened.
“Don’t you touch her! She belongs with my father! With Cygnus Black! You take her to him - he’s her legal guardian!!”
Her mother’s tormented voice is just about the only thing she can process amongst the chaos. Tears stream down Delphini’s face so aggressively she can hardly see.
She thinks she might be screaming for Bellatrix - for her father. She might just be screaming.
Her captor is walking them towards the door, away from mummy, away from their rooms.
Delphini turns, horrified eyes desperate for Bella. Seven Auror’s are holding her mama back. She watches as one of them kicks her mother hard in the stomach, the witch finally doubling over.
“She’s a ward of the Wizarding State now, Bellatrix.” The Auror abducting her declares. Delphini almost doesn’t hear him over the ringing in her ears. “The Ministry will be charged to oversee her placement following your trial.”
Her mother’s screams are the last thing Delphini will remember.
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