#i don't know if this has been adressed before

[ragnarssons]

yknow so far to me the weakest point of the season is the darkling, which i hadn’t expected. like okay he’s sick and all and tbh i think he’s right in the fact that erasing the fold will not solve ravka’s problem (which is to me why the end of the season, which i already know because i got spoiled, makes sense, alina wanting to be there to continue fixing the problems). but he’s too busy whining and controlling people and ruining people’s lives... he’s basically the plot device and not a character, which makes you wonder really why they brought him back if not to actually delve into his character. like you could have had the shadow creatures evolve on their own if that his only use *shrugs* it would have been so much interesting to have some kind of alina’s light powers to have gone inside of him, like, because of their bond, and actually play on that. have him experience human emotions he hasn’t experienced in a long long time, like compassion and remorse, yknow, things alina feels strongly. and then kinda torturing him with that. make him do his horrible things, but then make it has its weight on him. and yknow, like make him stop chasing after alina, dude, you’ve ruled over ravka alone for thousands of years, you don’t need her. like i get the whole thing of ya stories girls having all the dudes fawn over them, buuuuuuuut come on, *rolls eyes*

[hametsukaishi]

MASTERLIST OF VETTED FUNDRAISERS

Before anything else, I want to adress the belief that sharing campaings does nothing:

It's a lie. Simple as that. It's a lie designed to undermine us, and break our sense of community and solidarity. And it has the horrible consequence of taking away from the people who want to help.

There's a reason why my blog went from silly fandom dumpster sprinkled with content and news about Palestine, to a blog mostly dedicated to sharing fundraisers: It's because I can't do anything else but this. I can't protest, I can't donate, I can't even wear a keffiyeh. I can only share the fundraisers and boycott.

But even if the only thing I can do is share, It has had an impact on many people's life. So if you want to help but don't know how, this is the way you help!

Here is a masterlist of vetted fundraisers who desperately need our help. I will update it regularly with more fundraisers, and I will also start a rotation system, in wich I'll put four fundraisers in the spotlight for a week.

I beg that y'all read each of their stories as if it were yours, that you open your hearts to this families in need. Don't let the media erase their struggles and existence!

------------------

The Alhabil family, with three kids and two elderly with chronical conditions. Mohamed and his wife need help to evacuate safely. (26.520 €/50.000 €) - vetted by @el-shab-hussein, and nº166 in his vetted fundraisers list. You can find more about them in his blog @alhabil and his wife's @aya2mohammed.

My dear friend Mahmoud Albalawii, who has to seek help on behalf of his ten family members. (38.441 €/85.000 €) - Vetted by @90-ghost; you can check his blog @elbalawi, and my own post for his campaing here. THEY ARE NOW FOURTEEN MEMBERS AND THE GOAL HAS BEEN UPDATED!!

Samer Aburass, his wife and three children seek help to escape from Gaza (kr131,232 SEK/ kr450,000 ) - Vetted by @ibtisams and nº198 in @el-shab-hussein's vetted fundraisers list. His blog got terminated recently. You can find him now as @samerpal. His campaing has been going on for a long time and they're still from half the goal!!!

------- EXTREMELY LOW ON FUNDS

Ghada Banat, mother of a baby girl, who lost everything on her first year of marriage (€5,166 / €50,000 target) - vetted by @el-shab-hussein, and nº243 on his masterlist. @ghadabanat

Rajaa, a medical analysis specialist, also mother of a one year old boy. ($8,959/ $20,000). - vetted by @90-ghost. Her campaing has been stagnant for a really long time, and they still struggle to get donations!!! @rajaagaza

----------

NOTE OF JULY 9TH: I'm currently unable to access my laptop rn, so editing and updating this list will have to wait at least two weeks, but if you want me to reblog a fundraiser send an ask, and I will gladly do so!

NOTE OF JULY 24TH: I'm finally back to work on these fundraisers. I'll be updaiting this list with more campaings, and I'll be open to create more posts and reblogging. Please bear with me as I catch up.

@tamarrud, @witchywitchy, @halalchampagnesocialist, @houseofpurplestars, @soon-palestine, @ashwantsafreepalestine, @commissions4aid-international  @olovelymoon @riding-with-the-wild-hunt @disgruntledpoptart @dxsqz @dykesbat @ren-mielthebee @glaucopis

[moonstruckme]

Hi lovely!!! As I mentioned earlier, I apologize again do sending so many asks, I'm sick and stuck at home rn, so my brain has been working on overtime, so if I have an idea and think u might like it, I am sending them lol.

I wanted to know if u could write spencer x bau!reader, where reader is a technical analyst with Penelope for the team. But the last case was a pretty big one and she ended up sacrificing her sleep and needs to Penelope and everyone else could rest? So now that the case is over shes beng kinda stubborn and doesn't really wanna adress it, nor rest till she finishes the few remaining things?

Like always, you don't gotta write anything I request!!! I hope you've had a good week so far and get plenty of rest lol <333

Sincerely, :]

Hi sweetheart! No worries, send as many as you like! I'm just answering them at my own pace :)

Spencer Reid x bau!reader ♡ 876 words

“Hello my favorite genius.” Penelope snags Spencer by his sleeve just as he’s about to step into the elevator, using his momentum to swing him around and start him back the other direction. “I need you to get your ladylove out of my office—” she winces. “Our office. Sorry. Old habits, they do die hard.” 

“She’s still here?” Spencer asks, having learned long ago how to bulldoze through the fluff of conversations with Garcia. “I thought she’d be home already.” 

“Oh, no,” she says gravely, voice dropping to a whisper as they near the tech room. “I don’t think she’s been there in days. You cannot say anything, but she’s starting to smell.” 

Spencer prepares himself for the worst as the door opens, but all he finds is you, cute if a little bedraggled, hunched over your keyboard. 

“Hi,” he says tentatively when your glassed-over eyes don’t leave the screen. Your face is awash in blue light, blank but for the determined pinch of your mouth as you work. “Ready to go home?” 

“You can’t kick me out,” you say. Spencer blinks in surprise and a bit of hurt at your blunt tone before he realizes you aren’t speaking to him. “You can’t make him kick me out, either. I just have a few things left to do.”

“Very admirable work ethic,” Penelope shoots back, her own voice chipper with a steel edge, “but you’ve done plenty. We can finish this tomorrow.” 

You don’t stop typing even for a second. “Go home, Pen.” 

She gives Spencer an emphatic, helpless look behind your back, and he nods, signaling for her to go. She backs out of the room with her hands held up in front of her like she’ll need to ward you off, grabbing her bag and shutting the door behind her. 

“Hey.” Freed from the last constraints of professionalism, Spencer slips into his most honeyed tone. “Let’s get out of here, sweetheart. I’ve got a bed and a fridge full of almost-bad takeout waiting for us at home.” 

“Just a couple of things left to do,” you mutter, but your tone is considerably less hard than it had been with Penelope. 

“There will always be things left to do.” He walks up behind your chair, setting his hands on your shoulders and his chin on your head. You smell a bit stale, a sure tell you’ve been too long in this room, but nothing so bad as Penelope had warned him about. Just day-old you. “I may not know the full scope of things, but I know you’ve been working really hard on this case. You deserve some rest. You need some rest,” he amends. “Let me drive you home.” 

Something like longing flickers across your expression, but then it hardens back into resolve. “Thanks, Spence, but I can drive myself once I’m done.” 

Spencer decides to switch tactics. Oftentimes, the best way to get you to accept help is to let you think you’re actually helping someone else. He straightens and takes a couple of quick steps back from your desk with your chair in hand, rolling you with him.

“Hey!” you reach for your keyboard, but Spencer’s already swiveling your seat, turning you to face him. 

He sets his hands on the armrests. “Sweetheart, I just got off a four hour flight after a three day case. I’d really like to go home, but I’m not leaving here without you.” The divot between your eyebrows takes on a new character, frustration softening into sympathy. “And you haven’t even let me say a real hello.” 

A spark of happiness lights your eyes a second before they fall closed, face tipping up in eager anticipation as Spencer dips down to kiss you. It’s soft and lingering, and you rub your lips together self-consciously after it’s over, realizing how chapped they are. Spencer wonders when the last time you drank water was. 

“Sorry,” you say softly. “I didn’t mean to hold you up.” 

“You’re not,” he reassures you quickly, wanting you pliant but not guilty. “I mean, I don’t mind. Of course I don’t mind waiting for you. But are you ready to go now?” 

You cast a hesitant, skeptical look back at your computer, but Spencer smooths his thumb over the inside of your wrist, and you relent. “Yeah, okay. I just have to come back early tomorrow to finish up.” 

Spencer hums noncommittally. He was already planning on disabling your alarms after you’re asleep tonight. You need rest more than the higher-ups need your reports. You stand, grabbing your bag from under your desk and letting him shepherd you towards the door. 

“Do you think we could order some new takeout?” you ask him. 

“Good idea,” he agrees, somewhat relieved. “The stuff in the fridge has chicken in it, I don’t trust that.” 

Your laugh is somewhat lighter than usual, exhaustion setting in now that you’re out of your cave, but Spencer relishes the sound regardless. “Yeah, me neither. Pizza?” 

“Pizza,” he confirms. 

You make it all the way downstairs before your eyes flare and you spin around. “Shit, I think I left the light—”

“Nope.” Spencer takes you by the shoulders, steering you towards his car. “Someone else will take care of it.”

[searchingforakeythatdoesntexist]

"Wake up, I'm back...!"

Started this one on April 7th, it's finally achieved and in full-colour, no less!!!

These three last months have been amazing, I learnt so much! Today I was finally feeling like I was able to finish this tender kiss.

I hope you'll like this one too, my dear Good Omens fam.

Got some news about my health and an upcoming semi-hiatus under the cut, thank you for everything!

All my Good Omens art

Ko-Fi - Prints - LinkTree

Hi, my dear Good Omens family. Little Frenchie artist here😊

I already explained my situation on Reddit - and thank you all for your amazing support there my dear goblins - but I thought it was important to give some explainations here too.

First, I want to thank you, all of you. I joined this fandom less than a year ago, and coming back on Tumblr then starting to publish may have been the best thing that happened to me in 2023.

I met wonderful people, I learnt so much about my art, and I'm still learning, each day, every day.

Last year same day, i haven't hold a pencil since almost 10 years - Today, I'm living the miracle of my life and a true childhood dream: drawing again and again - and most of it, drawing about Good Omens - and it became a important part of my existence, helping me to fight depression and burn-out syndrom.

I'm right-handed, and my job irl has almost destroyed my right wrist during the last ten years. The pain became unbearable lately, and even if drawing was soothing me as a true part of my physiotherapy, it's not enough anymore.

Tomorrow - July 15th - I'll finally have a wrist surgery. And I'm really, really scared. Because we don't know if it will work, but my hand will have to stay immobilized for 6-8 weeks before a new round of physiotherapy. Because I have other health problems and another chronic pain disease, so I can't stop to think about if it doesn't go well and/or if it doesn't work at all.

That is why I'm writing tonight. This fandom helped me to heal during this wonderful year, and I wanted to say it here, loud and clear.

Thank you. For everything. For every note, for every comment, for every kind word you may have adressed to me. You don't know how much it's important to me.

I'll continue to publish here and there for a while, because I still have a few surprises and collabs gifts in store. Stay tuned!!!

Thank you for reading.

Love you all!🥰🤩❤️‍🔥

@goodomensafterdark

@floscrap-blog @demonsandpieohmy @amagnificentobsession @captainblou

@ineffable-hyperfixation @quoththemaiden @paperclipninja @silverdphantom @neverlet

@fearandhatred @eybefioro @crowleys-bentley-and-plants @ashfae @malohkeh-main

@mad-aims @daisydimple20092 @seraphhiim

[mintchoco-cream]

♪ Unexpected Reunion ➴ Kim Chaewon x fem!reader

Warning ࣪ › Chaewon x fem!reader, hav4n!reader, wlw, foul words, mentions of depression

Prompt ࣪ › It's been 2 years since yn and Chaewon had "broken" up. 2 years since Chaewon flat walked out of yn's life. No explanation, no nothing. It led the girl to a deep spiral of self doubting and loathing.

Word count ࣪ › 2.49k

Yn has been waiting for her debut for 4 long years now. She struggled and worked hard to finally, finally have a chance at debuting, and it paid off! Her debut date was only 1 week away, and even though she and her bandmates had to prepare, their manager and staff decided that today would be a rest day. The calm before the storm.

Honda Hitomi, yn's bandmate, suggested meeting up with some of her old bandmates, the Iz*One members. Yabuki Nako, another one of yn's bandmates, smiled and loved the idea. Everyone else loved the idea just as much as the small girl did.

But blood drained from yn's face. She knew it was bound to happen— being bandmates with one of her past bandmates. Yn has heard of Iz*One's meetups before, so she expected it. But not this early!

She quickly thought of ways to avoid joining the meet up. An excuse or, or anything! Her thoughts were then interuppted by Hitomi.

"Hey, yn-unnie? Are you going?" The small blonde girl asked with a gentle smile, relieved that she had finally gotten her bandmates attention after multiple tries.

"U-uh.. I don't—" Yn rubbed her nape, unsure of what to say. But there was one thing she knew. There was no way in hell she was ever going.

"Pleaseeeee? Yn-unnie, come on, it's only for a while! Just to meet them! We might not get the chance to fully meet up again." Nako said with a pout, pulling on yn's hand. Everyone then started pulling out the classic "puppy dog eyes", trying to convince yn to come.

Yn looked away, but it was too tempting. As the oldest of the group, she knew she had to be there. Especially because she was their damned leader. She sighed, hesitantly accepting.

They all cheered, and started to prepare for the meetup.

All yn could do was sigh.

"Well, there's no getting out of this one now.." she quickly chuckled to herself, memories of their past, memories of her past with her, resurfacing after a year of healing.

The girl swore an hour ago that no way in hell was she ever going. And yet here she is, wearing her usual gray and white flannel, unbuttoned with a plain white tank top underneath. And cargo pants that fit the theme just right.

"Unnie, I know I told you to dress casual, but I didn't expect you to dress this casual!" Hitomi frowned, and Hayeon, yn's bandmate, laughed. "Atleast she wore a tank top and unbuttoned her flannel! I swear, this isn't the most casual yn-unnie can go." Everyone else in the group giggled in response.

"Here we are!" Yoona, the second youngest of the group, cheerfully said. "Atleast i think we are? This is the right adress, right?" Yoona looked at her unnie's and maknae dumbfoundedly. Nako laughed and nodded. The six girls then stepped out of the car, and started heading to the gate.

Jimin, the groups maknae, automatically clung onto yn, feeling a sense of safety whenever she was with the older girl. They all reach the door, and proceed to ring the doorbell.

A familiar face answers.

"OH MY GOD?! NAKO AND HITOMI UNNIE?! I THOUGHT YOU GUYS WEREN'T COMING I—" Everyone else in the house turned their heads. Especially the Iz*One members.

"Hiii, mind if we come in first and explain?" Hitomi hurriedly said, trying to de-escalate the situation before it started. The girl knew her ex-bandmates well, and if their bandmates were anything like them, then she knew that all hell would break loose if she didn't de-escalate it now.

Wonyoung, the girl who had answered the door, nodded, and let them in. Yn took a few seconds to scan her surroundings. The only people that seemed to be here was Eunbi, IVE, Yena, Yuri, Minju, Hyewon, and Chaeyeon. She sighed of relief. Thank god Le sserafim wasn't here.... yet. She'd be in deep shit if it was so.

Everyone else in the house had wide eyes, looking at the girls as if they were ghosts. Yn lined them all up, and they started their introduction.

They all bowed in unison, and started introducing themselves.

"Hi, I'm Choi Yn, the eldest and the leader of Hav4n." Yn smoothly finished her introduction, and looked at her bandmates, waiting for them to start.

"Hello, I'm Kang Hayeon, the second eldest of the group. I'm currently 24 years old." Hayeon, answered nonchalantly, giving off the cool vibes she usually does.

"Hi! I'm Kim Yoona, the second youngest! So cool that I finally get to meet you guys! Oh, and since unnie mentioned her age, i will to! I'm turning 20 this year!" Yoona, always the cheerful and loud kind of girl, excitedly introduced herself to everyone else.

"Hi.. I'm uh, Kim Jimin. It's really nice to meet you," Jimin says as she plays with her fingers. "I'm turning 18 this year."

The Iz*One girls paused for a little, and immediately started screaming.

"HITOMI HITOMI HITOMI!!! WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME YOU WERE DEBUTING SOON?!" Chaeyeon loudly shouted, and everyone else just kind of joined in. After a few minutes of that shenanigans, everyone calmed down, and started to get to know eachother.

Suddenly, there was a knock on the door. Yena went to go get it, and yn just sat there as she continued her chat with IVE's leader, An Yujin.

She looked around her surroundings a bit, thinking it looks a little familiar. A bit too familiar infact. She looks at a specific plushie, and stared at it. It just looked so familiar she couldn't brush it off. And that's when it hit her. That was the plushie she gifted Chaewon two years ago. If Chaewon's plushie was here then that meant,

"This is Chaewon's dorm. And the person at the door is probably them."

Five girls entered the already flooded house, and were shocked at the new people. Most were because they've never seen them before, but one was because she never thought she'd see her ever again.

Chaewon had finally arrived home. She knew Iz*One had wanted to host a party at their home for quite some time, and allowed it a few weeks prior. She had recently just finished practice and thought it would be good to unwind a bit. But she never expected her ex of all people to be here.

All of Hav4n got up and introduced themselves to Le serrafim, and shook their hands. Like at a fan greet. When it was finally time for yn and Chaewon to shake hands, Chaewon was hesitant, but yn showed no signs of sorrow, despair, or anything at all. It was as if nothing happened between them.

They shook hands, and everything else went as planned.

It was now 1 am. Almost everyone had gone home except Hav4n and Eunbi. The group and Eunbi decided to help tidy up and get everything in place.

After doing so, Hitomi realized Eunbi was way too intoxicated to go home alone, and offered if she wanted to go with them. But there was already no space for their drive home, and even though Hitomi had willingly said she wanted to stay and get home by herself, yn would never allow her bandmate to go home alone. Especially because she was already a well established idol. Who knows what could happen. Yn had chills just thinking about it.

So here she was, waiting outside of Le sserafim's dorm for her cab to arrive. She sat on their porch, and quietly prayed that Chaewon wouldn't stumbled her way outside and find her. But God other plans, apparently.

"...Yn? What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be uh... home?" Chaewon asked, eyes blinking slowly.

"Uh... hello?" Chaewon was starting to get annoyed at the younger girl, but she held it in.

Yn rolled her eyes, and looked away. Chaewon felt offended, but she knew yn had a right. She knew she fucked up 2 years ago. 2 years ago, when she chose Le sserafim over her own girlfriend. It was fucked up, but she basically had no other choice. She needed to make money, and it had to be then.

"L-look I'm sorry—" Yn's head snapped towards Chaewon, anger filling her head, and heart. Chaewon, frightened by yn's sudden hardened expression, froze.

"Sorry? Sorry?? You seriously think a simple sorry could fix your wrongdoings Kim? You think you can fix what you did, with just a sorry?" Yn grit her teeth. She was seething. Does Chaewon seriously think she can make up for her mistakes with a simple sorry? Does Chaewon think she can make up for the year yn spent hating herself? Hating herself for something that probably wasn't even her fault?

Yn then stood up, "You think," The girl harshly pointed her finger onto Chaewon's chest, and pressed on it hard. "That sorry could fix the way you damage me? The way you left me all alone, when I needed you most? My bestfriend had just died Chaewon, and you chose to... leave me? Are you fucking crazy?" Yn was now close to tears, her anger and sadness clouding her brain. She was no longer sober. She was drunk on anger and despair. A side she hasn't let out for a long, long time.

"I–i just—" Yn cut her off by grabbing her chin roughly. "You what? You're sorry? You're sorry you left me alone and defenseless? Well awh, how sweet." Yn's jaw tightened, her dominating and angry gaze falling on Chaewon's sad and dejected gaze.

Chaewon could only look at yn with shame. The girl had a point, why did she leave? Money was something she could easily solve with yn's help. The girl had been convincing herself that she did "what she had to do". That delusion lightened the guilt she felt, and went with it for the past two years. Yn's words were a reality check overdue.

Chaewon held onto yn's arm, the arm that was currently holding her jaw. She pleadingly looked at the younger girl, softening her eyes. Yn felt like succumbing, no, fuck that, she wanted to succumb. But washing away the months of anger and depression was no easy thing to do. So she just suspiciously looked at Chaewon, resisting the older womans charm. Although she did however, soften her grip, allowing the shorter woman to talk.

"I know you're mad, you have every right. I just– I promise I'll make up for it, I'll make up for the two years I was gone." Chaewon lightly cupped yn's left cheek with her right hand, and stroke her fingers on the younger girls soft cheek.

Yn could no longer hold it in. The waterworks started flowing, and yn felt like she was breaking all over again.

Yn walked into her and Chaewons dorm, dropping her bag onto the kitchen stool upon arrival. She called out Chaewon's name, expecting the older girl to be home.

"Strange, why isn't she home yet?" Yn thought to herself. Maybe she was just busier today.

Yn spent the next 1 hour waiting for Chaewon to arrive, and when she didn't, the girl started worriedly calling people, asking where she was or if they knew where she was last at.

And that was when yn suddenly got a text message from "my love<3". It read,

My love<3

Let's break up.

Yn was confused. What does she mean "break up"? All yn could say inside was, "What the fuck?". The girl tried calling, texting, and was soon blocked by the number. Yn was in tears by then. Her whole world had suddenly gotten darker and less colorful.

She would barely eat for days, only when necessary or to stop the stomach pain. She didn't take baths for multiple days on end, and almost dropped out of her agency. She would blame herself, or constantly ask herself if it was her fault. It was unbearable to see someone so drained, so... lifeless.

Yn let the tears out. She screamed, she tried to thrash around, causing Chaewon to hug her. She tried to get away from the older womans grip. She was however, too strong for someone her size, and only had a little problem with keeping yn in place. Yn let out the words she had been holding onto for the past 2 years, finally able to let it out.

"YOU THINK YOU CAN JUST SAY SORRY AND I'D LET IT GO?! YOU THINK– Y–YOU t–think.. you.." Yn tried to scream and shout, but her energy was insanely low. It was 1 am, and she was too exhausted. So instead, after her 3 minute tantrum, she just stood in Chaewon's arms, reminiscing the smell of the older womans peach scent. The peach scented perfume she always used to buy Chaewon.

"Shhh... I'm sorry. I promise I'll make it up to you, but we should get you tucked in, yeah?" Yn couldn't say or do anything else but nod. Chaewon gently smiled, and led yn to a house nearby. The second le sserafim dorm.

They both slowly entered the dorm, yn being supported by Chaewon. They soon reached Chaewon's bedroom, and the older woman slowly set the younger one down.

"Do you wanna take a shower or change? We could—" Chaewon was then cut of by yn.

"Why... why do you act like you care so much?" Yn looked up to face Chaewon, anger, doubt, sadness, and a hint of hope in her eyes. Chaewon's expression softened, and answered.

"Because I do care. Look, I know I was an asshole for just leaving you but, I'll explain the rest tomorrow." Chaewon sat down next to yn, and continued. "You can let your anger out tommorow, you can hit me, slap me, I don't care. Just.. relax for now, it's really late, okay?" Yn nodded, seemingly content with Chaewon's answer. They both faced eachother, faces unbelievably close.

Yn could feel Chaewon's hot breath, and almost held back. But it was just too tempting. Chaewon, her Chaewon. The Chaewon she's loved for multiple years, the Chaewon she's been hoping an apology from, the Chaewon right in front of her, with dishevelled hair, with pretty pink lipstick she wanted to ruin.

Yn knew she would regret this, but who cares? She leaned forward, hoping Chaewon would too. Chaewon got the signal, and immediately hopped in to take the opportunity.

After two long years, yn finally had another taste of Chaewon's lips. It had been far too long, yn thought to herself. They kissed for a few seconds, and pulled away for air. The connected their foreheads, and yn spoke.

"I'm going to regret this, aren't I?"

"That depends. Do you still love me or not?"

Yn did not know whether she loved Chaewon. But what she did know, was that she was starting to give Chaewon a chance. She only hopes the older woman wouldn't fuck it up again.

So after much hesitation, the girl finally answered.

"Maybe."

[crystalrainfall]

I love how in 2003 Ed in the beginning is so shy! In the dub he stutters as well and flip flops over how to properly Adress Mustang it's absolutely adorable.

He has like respect for people older than him, he's not stepping over boundaries of people he barely knows, he has manners -

Like he used to be a really sweet boy before the world decided to take a massive shit on him daily.

Makes you wonder how he would've turned out if he wasn't exposed to cruelty so early.

2003 really puts an emphasis on the relationship Ed has with adults and facing his own maturity and growth as a person and how all that is significantly influenced on the people around him.

Ed doesn't really start off disliking Mustang until he realizes that mustang basically tricked Ed into

1. Proving himself to be capable.

2. Using him to partially deal with his dirty work.

Although I don't think roy was being super malicious and was putting Ed into alot of danger, sure alot could've gone wrong but he knew where the train would arrive and that Hughes and falman (?) were on

(roy trusts both of them and knows they're capable)

They were on board so if things were to go wrong they would be there at least.

It was just a controlled environment to see if Ed was actually capable to deal with far worse shit in the military because at that point in the narrative Ed is still super naive and childish, he's not all sunshine and lollipops but he doesn't really get the heavy implications that the title of state alchemist bears either.

Just look at how happy he looks after he got it, holding it up like a kid would a medal, presenting it with pride.

Anyway after the train arc Ed developes his iconic rivalry/"hatred" of roy that we all love to see on screen <33

Afterall, in Ed's point of view he's been tricked, he's been bamboozled, he's been Lied to.. ect

Ed's face of pure disbelief as the dying embers of respect he held for Mustang dies out:

[n0tamused]

Can i request a drabble with Newbie Assistant reader! x jing yuan? I've been thinking (daydreaming) abt this for a while with my delulu brain. From what qingzu says, he prefers everyone adress him as jing yuan. And not full title.

OR

Where reader is his wife and he can't go 1 minute without hugging her and worst part, she works at the seat of divine foresight and everyone at the seat has to witness his love sick behavior. I imagine especially fu xuan will be pissed like 'get to work, general!'

Honestly just a food for thought u don't have to take this srsly. Luv u, byeee <33

A/n: Anon you got my gears turning with this food and you have successfully dragged me out of the hole of writer's block. Thank you for that and I really hope you enjoy this little drabble I made, specifically for the second prompt! Man I love this man I wanna eat him. Just imagine him with a wife that's also on the strict side and just knows to get him back to his work but he just wants another kiss before he lets her leave his embrace-

Content: female reader, fluff, drabble

Big arms find their place around her waist and before she can pluck them off, Jing Yuan has slotted himself against her back. His chin rested on top of her shoulder and his golden eyes sluggish dragged their gaze over the documents his lovely wife was working on sorting out. A signature smile remained plastered over his lips even when he felt the scolding words bubble in your throat.

He never shared her shyness, as he called it, in the workplace. It was nothing that could damage either of their reputation, a little bit of hugging and a few cheek kisses here and there - if anything, he held firm belief that more warm displays of affection could even make the workplace be less stagnant. Why does everyone have to be so stiff? Jing Yuan knew to not cross any boundaries that could make his affections be perceived as something odd or even bad. But in an empty office, like the state it was in now, where no one paid them any mind, he really couldn’t help but pounce at the opportunity. 

“Have you finished your paperwork so soon today, General?” she’d bite at him with her words, fully familiar with his tendencies to neglect the piling papers on his desk. 

“Certainly. For today I have done the amount my hands could endure” Jing Yuan responded with a peck to the side of her exposed neck, smiling into her skin when he smelled some of his soap there. She smelled so warm, so relaxing, and it made him squeeze her in his arms just a little more. He heard his love exhale at his squeeze, and despite the facade she tried to keep on, he could see traces of a smile on her pretty lips when he lifted his gaze. “And what did we say about name calling? I’m Jing Yuan to you, your white lion, your husband, am I not?” He playfully nips at her ear, his warm breath fanning across her skin and making her hairs stand on their ends. “Or have you decided to take back your vows all of a sudden?” That gains a reaction out of you, a huff of a chuckle flying past your mouth at the absurd way he delivered that question. He sounded so serious about it, offended even, making her shift in his embrace.

“Jing Yuan-”

“You just keep gaining more beauty, my love, do you know?”

A long sigh and her shaking her head tell him enough, and he smiles when he sees her smile. “Don’t try to weasel your way out of this. Unhand me now, my dearest husband-” she says it as if she hates it, swatting at his hands until their grip falters. She could swat at them all she wanted but she knew that getting him off of her in this instant would be like trying to separate a nail from the flesh. “You may have done what you think is all for today, but I have more work to get to.. Tell you what..” her eyes finally grace him with the attention of her gaze and he feels like kissing her again, but he refrains as to hear her out. “If you tend to all those papers I’ll pamper your scoundrel self once we are back home, hm? If you don’t, well you can expect the cold shoulder and the couch as your bedroom until it gets done” 

“You are too cruel to me, my dear, you hurt me so..” he feigns offense, all while he leans in and litters her cheek with feather kisses before he finally gets to her lips. One of his hands had snuck its way up and held her other cheek in its palm, tilting her head towards him as he pressed his lips against hers. 

"You know I must resort to rougher measures when you're slacking off-" "Shhh.." he hushes her and places another kiss to her mouth.

Safe to say, that paperwork did get done later. And Jing Yuan got to enjoy a really touchy afternoon with you in his arms. 

Ⓒ n0tamused. Do not repost, translate, edit, and/or copy any of my works. Likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated.

[uyuforu]

Charles Leclerc Future Spouse Indicators in Natal Chart

Finally, here is a post about Charles Leclerc! Many people have been asking me that, I thought by starting this way with an interesting post ^^ Hope you will like it! Charles also seems to be interested in women only, and seems to be heterosexual, so talking about his FS I'll use pronouns she/ her.

All pictures were found on Pinterest

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Other posts you could like:

𝜗𝜚 How to know when you will marry

𝜗𝜚 How to know where your Future Spouse was born?

𝜗𝜚 Celebrities Astrology Masterlist

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The 7H

ᯓ★ Charles' 7H is in Taurus, his Future Spouse can be very beautiful physically speaking, and she can have some thickness to her body, such as curves, boobs, and Briede Cancer adds this. Cancer rules over the boobs and Venus signs usually rules over curves and the booty. (I see you all coming at me but astro does not lie .-.) Taurus sign here does not make her looks too tall or short, she has a "normal" height. She can have good skin and smells very good. She can have a pleasant voice to hear, she can looks gracious, charming, feminine like.

ᯓ★ His 7H is also with a Capricorn degree, which will make his Future Spouse looks a bit cold sometimes, have a more royal presence, yet she can be very charming to people and could be very good at making first impression. She can be slim too, though her height with the degree can go to the smaller type. She can also look younger than what she is, blessed with a young look.

ᯓ★ His 7H is empty, yet it is ruled by Venus, which is in Sagittarius 1H. Venus promises again of having a very beautiful spouse, looking very stunning. Her charm will be above the roof and many people can have a crush on her. She can be an extrovert and anyone can like her, have a good opinion of her. She can have many friends or know a lot of people. People just like her a lot, and if they don't it can be because of jealousy. She can be a very creative person too, and be into art, music, etc. Someone very nice, and she can look very classy. Venus being in Sagittarius can make her have a good body and perhaps toned, she can be quite independent and likes to enjoy her freedom. Venus being in the 1H can maker her have Taurus or Libra rising, or also her Venus can be in the 1H. Otherwise, she can be someone he knows already or someone his parents will present to him. She can also be someone he will have a crush on before coming to her. Love at first sight will mostly happen.

ᯓ★ Though despite the 7H is empty, Charles still has Part of Fortune in his 7H, which makes him be quite lucky generally about his partners and his Future Spouse. He will feel like a lucky man, and people will feel the same. There will be a feeling he will feel blessed to marry a woman like her. Moreover, Charles' Mercury sextile his Venus, which indicates his possibilities to marry someone younger than him.

The 10H

ᯓ★ Charles' 10h is in Leo, his FS can come from a country or place that is very famous, people could consider this place a luxury, somewhere rich people go, somewhere hot, somewhere a lot of CEO live, a lot of big businesses live, a place with big schools, a place known for important people, wealthy place, royalty could have happened, a place with a lot of history and an old place.

ᯓ★ His MC is also in a Sagittarius degree, making his FS come from a place with a lot of tourists, there could be an airport where she comes from, tourists could come a lot, it could be a touristic place, country could have religion part of their culture or very close to their history. country's economy could be really dependent on tourism, could be big colleges where she comes from, etc.

ᯓ★ Since there are no planets in and around the MC, we will focus on the ruler of the 10H, which is the Sun. Charles' Sun is in 12H Libra, and the house makes it more obvious she was born from a different country and place than him, and it could have been around water, somewhere art is celebrated. The Libra Sun makes her being born a beautiful place, a place known for its beauty and beautiful sights, it can be a wealthy place, a place good for shopping, a place known for jewelries, clothings, make up, etc. A place known because of a woman, or women being an important symbol. A place where people are charming and nice yet can be superficial.

Possible placement of his Future Spouse

ᯓ★ Cancer/ 4H

ᯓ★ Sagittarius/ 9H

ᯓ★ Virgo/ 6H

ᯓ★ Capricorn/ 10H

ᯓ★ Libra/ 7H

ᯓ★ Leo/ 5H

ᯓ★ Scorpio/ 8H

ᯓ★ Libra/ Taurus/ Venus 1H

When are they most likely to meet?

ᯓ★ We will focus on his Venus Return because Venus rules over the wife, and Charles' Venus returns once in 2022, twice in 2024, once in 2025, twice in 2027, once in 2028, 2029 and 2030.

ᯓ★ When it comes to his Solar Return, he has indicators to possibly meet her in 2025. He is indeed in a discreet relationships since 2023, based on his SRC of that year, there are still possibility that it could have been this year, yet 2025 seems also accurate. In this case, this needs to be more studied.

Juno

ᯓ★ His Future Spouse could be someone who is very perfectionist, someone who works very hard and for whom working is important.

ᯓ★ She could want stability and she could like routine. She could also like working.

ᯓ★ She likes predictability, she could like to organize things too.

ᯓ★ She could be very neat. Hygiene and health are very important to her.

ᯓ★ She could hate lazy people, and she may feel pissed off when they do nothing. It can stress her. She can also feel anxious when she does nothing, feeling like she is waiting time and needs to be productive.

ᯓ★ She can be very good with details, and she can remember every single details about people she meets, but mostly people she loves! If she loves you, she will love every flaws of you, and in fact, it's not even flaws for her. The way she loves is realistic, she is not the type to romanticize everything.

ᯓ★ Love language could be mainly act of service. She loves to help people she loves to improve, and she wants to take care of them too. She will want to help people she loves in their daily life and for work.

ᯓ★ She can be a pet person, and pets can love her too.

ᯓ★ This is the kind of person who wants to improve a lot about herself, she could always think how she can improve better. She can be the kind of person who loves to help people, give advices, recommendations, etc.

ᯓ★ His Future Spouse could also look tired often, she could look a little depressed, sad, or really just tired.

ᯓ★ She could find her work to be super important to her, she could have an important job, or be an important person in her career.

ᯓ★ She is very hardworking, and not lazy at all. Making money is very important to her, she could know how to manage it well.

ᯓ★ She wants to live a good and luxurious life style, but just knowing she has money makes her feel very relaxed. Money is the key to easy life and unstressful life for her.

ᯓ★ She could look cold and distant at first or just not talk much. She can also not be that expressive. She can have a dark humor, or a certain style of humor people may think is harsh, not everyone get it.

ᯓ★ She could love to take control, and hate when someone try to control her. Very independent.

ᯓ★ Her reputation could be excellent almost, and people might respect her very much. People may think of she is one of the best at her job, and she could be famous too, or just very successful in her career field. She could have a lot of public attention. She is a very ambitious person.

ᯓ★ Her father could be famous too, successful, she could love her father very much, he could also be her role model.

ᯓ★ She could be very unique, someone who hates to follow the crowd like a sheep. She can be said to be weird, but she can love to be considered as someone who is not like the other. Something she may actually hate is to fit in the box. She could want to be different and will probably always search for that. It's another way for her to make herself seen.

ᯓ★ She has different tastes than the other people, she is pretty different. But she is very good at making friends. She is very social, and she may have friends from different cultures or backgrounds, people who have different tastes, or just friends who are very different from each other.

ᯓ★ She is very spontaneous, and love to surprise people with her ideas, thoughts and actions. The idea to be different is something she may also enjoy very much, it can also makes her feel special.

ᯓ★ She could be into humanitarian actions, she can also be on social medias, have an influence on it or just use it often. OR either hate them. lol.

ᯓ★ She has a very different perspective about things in life, so it's a totally new point of view. She just doesn't see things the same way others do.

Briede

ᯓ★ FS could be someone very nurturing, someone who is very sweet, nice, and gentle.

ᯓ★ She could look super young, or just very cute, she can make people (or Charles) want to take care of her.

ᯓ★ She is not an aggressive person, she is actually very sensible. This could mean that she could cry easily too.

ᯓ★ She can look very feminine, or just be in tune and harmony with her feminine side.

ᯓ★ She can love her family, loved ones a lot. She could love home things, stay at home too.

ᯓ★ Food is one of her biggest love story, and if she is feeling sad, food can bring comfort.

ᯓ★ Her mother can be very important to her, play a big role in her life, or she grew up with a lot of feminine figures around her.

ᯓ★ She could love children, want children, or even grew up with children around her. It's someone with whom Charles will want to make children. Pregnancy can be a theme here too.

ᯓ★ This person can be very secretive, as she may be scared to be hurt.

ᯓ★ She can look innocent, and it can lead people to be scared she will be hurt by the world. Charles would want to protect her. Charles would also want to nurture and protect her.

ᯓ★ Water can be important for her, she could love it or love to swim too. Living by the sea too.

ᯓ★ This person can be very loyal, not only to Charles but also to her family, people she loves and holds on dearly in her heart. Because of her loyalty, she can even be loyal to traditions. She will maybe want to create her own traditions too with her family.

ᯓ★ She can be moody too, or over sensitive. Because of that, she can be often in different kind of moods.

ᯓ★ FS can also be a foreigner, or she lives in foreign lands.

ᯓ★ FS can also be quite smart, and wise as a person. Perhaps more mature than her age.

ᯓ★ She is funny, open minded and also knows a lot of things about a lot of different subjects, which can be related to her being open-minded and curious.

ᯓ★ FS could have a very harmonious face or way to live. She could be very pretty. She can be someone stable, someone who wants to provide.

ᯓ★ She can enjoy good things from life, she can like to cook, to eat, she can be gourmand. She could love to shop, she can like fashion, likes to take care of herself, etc.

ᯓ★ She can look neat, presentable, clean, she looks nice and always put together. She can also love to smell good, and people can often say how good she smells.

ᯓ★ She could be wealthy, comes from a wealthy family, or will eventually have a lot of money. It could also be that FS is good with managing money, could be into trading, etc. Possible job could be related to money, working in a bank for ex. or living based on trades, she could have a stable job and income.

ᯓ★ This person doesn't seem to worry much, she is not loud and don't over talk about themselves.

Venus

ᯓ★ His FS could be someone very mature, or there is something very wise about her.

ᯓ★ She could be very smart, and even emotionally speaking. She could be good at school. Very studious.

ᯓ★ She could be a teacher. She could love the college life, or made important memories there. Studying may be something she loves, and they could meet while studying, it can also be abroad.

ᯓ★ She could be a foreigner, and live abroad. Or she could come study in his country for example.

ᯓ★ This person can be quite optimistic. Charles could find her pretty lucky too. She can be considered very funny, and she could have a good sense of humor. She has a good way to express herself and Charles could find her super funny.

ᯓ★ She is quite curious and spontaneous. She wants to experience different things, she wants to see the world, and learn many things. She may believe that's how you get wiser. She may love to travel too.

ᯓ★ She could be spiritual, or believe in spirituality. She could also be religious. This couple could have a spiritual bond too.

ᯓ★ Charles' FS is passionate, quick, she can talk fast, walk fast, do things too fast, she is not patient, and she might even pursue Charles romantically. She can be the type to "chase". Despite that, she is someone independent.

ᯓ★ She could have a quick temper too. Someone who feels very passionately her feelings. She could also show her love physically.

ᯓ★ She might care a lot about health, and sport can be very important to her too, she could have an interest in that.

ᯓ★ She might also not be scared of confrontation and fights. She def seems to be confident. She can be loud sometimes, or laugh very loud too. She can take things personally pretty quickly too. She doesn't have her tongue in her pocket.

ᯓ★ She could also be an extrovert, and she can be very passionate about what she talks about. She could also want to be in a relationship with Charles very quickly.

ᯓ★ She could be very good looking, very hot, someone who looks dark, charismatic, someone to whom Charles will feel an instant pull. Someone who attracts people like a magnet. She could be someone so attractive a lot of people are almost obsessed with her.

ᯓ★ She could be shy, or private. Introvert, and someone who doesn't speak much at first. She can seem closed to meet people. She can look depressive. She can seem bored, or just down. She may look tired too.

ᯓ★ She can be someone who is better to show her love through physical intimacy than actual words. She looks very mysterious.

ᯓ★ This makes an intense connection between those too. There is a true feeling of wanting to make one with each other.

ᯓ★ This person could be secretive and not want to reveal her secrets to anyone, and she could also want to keep her flaws and dark sides to herself.

ᯓ★ She can be possessive and jealous too. She can be very passionate and intense too, even in her eyes you can feel it.

ᯓ★ This person may have been hurt a lot in the past, or you just feel like she is lonely. She could be very sensible too, and may prefer to be alone in order to not be hurt.

Union

ᯓ★ They could meet during volunteering, through friends, she can be one of his childhood friend too.

ᯓ★ They could meet out of nowhere, unexpectedly, in foreign lands or while traveling.

ᯓ★ They could meet during protests, on social medias, on the Internet, they could be friends online first.

ᯓ★ They could have a unique relationship when they meet. They could also just bump into each other at the weirdest moment.

ᯓ★ They could def meet online, on social medias.

ᯓ★ It can also happen at a party, with friends, or their siblings can present them to each other.

ᯓ★ They could meet at the library, or while buying books. They could meet at a club, college, school, anywhere you learn or get en education.

ᯓ★ They could meet because of technologies or phones matters. Karaoke, concert, speeches can be a thing here.

ᯓ★ They could meet in a shopping mall, somewhere people dress nice and fancy, at a party, meet at court, when signing a contract, when starting a business, at a wedding, or with friends, something can be linked to law, or marriage, or justice.

ᯓ★ They could meet at a beauty shop, at a concert, or a museum. They could meet somewhere linked to art, fashion, beauty, maybe a school specialized in those areas.

ᯓ★ They could have love at first sight, or it means they will find each other very attractive.

Thank you for reading!

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Zuko and Katara Aren't Toxic to Each Other

I keep hearing this take that's biasically just different variations of this:

Zuko and Katara would bring out the worst in each other. They would be fighting constantly, and their similar tendency to anger will escalate these situations. They'd both grow miserable and bitter.

I don't like this argument for a number of reasons, but I'll adress just one: I feel as though these takes miss how Zuko and Katara have been shown to respond to each other's anger in canon.

For most of the story, they're enemies. Prince of the Fire Nation and the Avatar's friend & teacher. They fight because they're on opposite sides of a war. They do have an arc before they reconcile, there are fights from The Crossroads of Destiny to The Southern Raiders. But in my opinion they don't point at toxicity. They show how Zuko actually reacts to Katara's rage. And it simply doesn't escalate even before they become friends. So let's take a look at a few of said arguments:

The Crossroads of Destiny

At this point they are pure enemies. Katara didn't see Zuko's journy in the Earth Kingdom and they don't know anything about each other.

Zuko and Katara are in the crystal catacombs and Katara starts yelling & preaching at Zuko for all he did do them. At first Zuko just takes it all, just listens to her. But he hit his breaking point.

Zuko (calmly): You don't know what you're talking about.

Katara then rightfully gets angry. And opens up about how the Fire Nation hurt her personally – they took away her mother. Instantly, Zuko isn't angry anymore.

Zuko: I'm sorry.

He immediatly understands and offers comfort. And even, connect with his enemy.

Zuko: That's something we have in common.

Katara: I'm sorry I yelled at you before.

Now the argument is over. They were enemies just a second ago, but Zuko was able to put it aside, realize that Katara was well within her rights to get angry, see her pain and connect with her. So much so, that he tells her about his destiny, about how he feels he's free. And Katara offers to heal his scar to help him too. She too understood his pain, calmed down instantly and helpped.

The Western Air Temple

Zuko has redeemed himself, but not in Katara's eyes. She still suspects him after he betrayed her. She confronts him.

Zuko doesn't get angry if defensive, he knows why she's yelling and lets it happen. He understands her and knows his place.

Then, she threatens him with death. And what did Zuko do?

Nothing. It's not his place. He has gained the emotional maturiny needed to do nothing. To take her rage, knowing it's deserved.

The Southern Raiders

At this point Zuko is completely redeemed, he saved the Gaang just this day and proved he's trust worthy on multiple occasions. But that's still not enough for Katara. She makes a mean spirited comment about him not deserving any credit and leaves. Zuko follows her.

Thus the hostility begins. Zuko asks Katara why can't she trust him? He's proven himself, everyone already trusts him. It's a fair question, and fair frustration. Katara didn't provide substantial reasons to why she still doesn't trusts him yet. She just reminded him she was the first to trust him.

Zuko: What can I do to make it up to you?

He calmed down and tried to help, even when he had every right to be upset. In her next line, it became clear that she was projecting her grief onto him. Zuko realized this, what did he do? What did he do after finding out that Katara's rage at him isn't even about anything he personally did? What did he do after finding out that her rage is unfair and rooted in projection?

Says nothing & goes to her brother to help her solve her trauma. Regardless of it was healthy or not, Zuko was trying to help – not get angry at her.

All of these arguments happen before they even become friends. After they did, they are nothing but wholesome.

This argument that they'd bring out the worst in each other has no basis in canon.

"But it doesn't need to be prominent in canon! They didn't disagree yet, and we don't know what it'd look like".

They did once: Zuko agreed to an Agni Kai with Azula. He invited Katara just so he wouldn't have to do this. Katara finds it unreasonable. But she hears him out and trusts his judgement.

Yes, it does need to be backed up by canon. If it doesn't need to, you can pick any two traits of any two characters and think of how they could be miserable. It doesn't matter that that's not how they are, because it's a hypothetical. It doesn't need to be backed up in canon. Now I'm suggesting that Zukka would be toxic because Sokka's sillyness would clash with Zuko's anger. Sokka would joke around and Zuko would be irrutated & ask him to take it seriously. But it's stupid. I just picked two traits and went wild with it. Same goes for Zutara. They don't act like this, so it's irrelevant.

In conclusion: When Zuko and Katara were "fighting constantly" they were on opposite sides of a war. The first time they talked, it naturally starts as an argument, but turns into a beautiful moment where they both understand each other. When Zuko joins the Gaang, he waits pationetly to Katara's forgiveness, takes all her anger without being at all hostile, does everything he can to prove himself, stays calm even when it's unfair and helps her resolve her trauma. After they reconcile Zuko and Katara don't have a hinch of toxicity. They don't bring out the worst in each other.

[picturejasper20]

Looking back the ending of Gravity Falls while thinking about endings of other series like Amphibia and The Ghost and Molly Mcgee, Weirdmageddon has a message that is underwhelming when it comes to Dipper and Mabel's relationship and Mabel's potrayal in the show.

This isn't about Mabel getting tricked by Bill. She is a 12-13 years old that in that context she was feeling really bad and not thinking well what she was doing. That isn't relevant to the topic at hand and honestly it isn't a problem she did that, it does makes sense in the episode it happened.

What i have an issue is how the narrative makes Dipper feel bad about considering staying studying with Stanford. This is something that Dipper was interested in and he was very fascinated by anything that was paranormal related. Stanford himself told Dipper he had a lot of potential and the kid was digging into it.

Mabel lashing out and not liking the idea of Dipper staying with Stanford is understandable in the episode Dipper and Mabel vs. the Future. She doesn't seem to have much friends back in her home and her parents are implied to not be the best. She gets scared of Dipper leaving, that's a reasonable fear for a kid to have.

However, as i mentioned before, Dipper is made feel bad about considering choosing something he wants to do. It isn't Mabel who has to learn that things change and sometimes this brings things we don't like. She doesn't exactly consider what Dipper wants for himself, she mainly cares about how ¨she is going to be alone¨ and making her brother feel selfish for choosing his own path or do something that could make him happy.

Yes, she learns that things can't stay the same forever and they are growing up, that itself is a pretty good development for her and overall a good message to teach.

Yet her being codependent on Dipper doesn't get brought up nor addressed, in fact the series seems to praise this behavior of hers. In how Dipper has to do what she wants if not he is a bad brother. Mabel's clinginess and controlling behaviour to an extent isn't called out, which that itself is a problem.

Small edit: I want to add an extra point here that Mabel does have a short scene near the end of the episode that she tells Dipper that she won't get in his way if he wants to stay with Stanford and she was ¨acting nuts¨ in the dream bubble. This is good for her but it does still feel in part that her issues weren't fully acknowledged and it doesn't help she didn't say this until after Dipper told her that he was going to stay with her and not be with Stanford, which is rather questionable in my opinion. It would have been more appropiate in the episode to have this brought up and getting adressed better than for her to wait for Dipper to do what she wanted.

In contrast in Amphibia, Marcy Wu has a similar arc about change. The series explores how she can take her escapism too far and how she can be very selfish in plenty of ways, something that is potrayed as an aspect she has to learn from and realize that it isn't healthy.

Her being too codependent on Anne and Sasha and their overall friendship is potrayed as toxic and the series explores this relationship a lot, having the girls grow over time and think about different aspects they have to work on.

In ¨True Colors¨ it is revealed that Marcy Wu learned about the Calamity Box the same day she got told by her parents that they were moving away. Very afraid of having to leave her friends behind and having to be alone in a new city, she found the Calamity Box and told Sasha and Anne about it. Worth of mentioning she didn't know if it would work but it was a desperate act of her just to not having to move away from her friends yet.

When Sasha and Anne find out about this they are, not surprisingly, very pissed and push from Marcy away for a moment, making Marcy realize her mistake and eventually apologizes for what she did.

In ¨All In¨ Marcy finally comes to terms with how she can't force Anne and Sasha to be the way she wants them to be and that her codependency on them isn't a good thing. She realizes that has to move away to her new home at some point, that things change but that doesn't mean the three of them have to stop being friends.

As you can see, there is a clear difference between how Mabel Pines and Marcy Wu’s characters and flaws are potrayed in the narrative. While Gravity Falls makes Mabel’s codependency and controlling behaviour to be something acceptable and that Dipper should conform to, Amphibia does the complete opposite and presents Marcy Wu’s actions as flaws she has and that can hurt other people, including her friends. She is the one that has to make a change and understand she has to work on herself if she wants to have new friends and keep these relationships as times moves on.

Since we are on topic, one thing that really bothered me is how Mabel created a version of Dipper that is ¨cool¨ and says yes and goes along with everything she wants to do. (Weirdmageddon Part 2)

This has… interesting implications of how Mabel believes that relationships should work, or at least with her brother twin Dipper. A lot has to do with how she and Dipper have very different personalities and she maybe wishes that he was more like her, but expecting someone else to say ¨yes¨ to everything you want is a toxic mentality to have. And the episode itself doesn’t address this enough, it doesn’t bring up to Mabel she can’t expect people to work like this and she should try thinking more about what others wants.

Lets talk about The Ghost and Molly Mcgee. In this series Molly Mcgee often has episodes where she has to learn certain lessons. One of them she learns over time is that often she has to give up control and let what others want to do instead.

A good example of this is ¨Ready, Set, Snow!¨ in which she is constanly trying to make Libby and Scratch to go and play outside in the snow with her without considering they would rather stay inside and sit near the fire for the moment. She spends most of the episode trying to find ways to make them go outside until she gets angry and goes out on her own. She has… quite of a mental breakdown in a sequence song. Scratch goes to check on her but he tells to her that she can’t do always what she wants and what it is important is for her to be spending time with her friends. Molly realizes she was wrong, goes back to the house and she apologizes for how she acted.

Molly has quite a lot of episodes like this, and all this becomes important in the series finale ¨The End¨ when she sees that Scratch has to go back to be Todd even if that means forgetting the memories he got as a ghost, her included. She tells Scratch that she is going to miss him a lot but she knows that forcing Scratch to stay wouldn’t be right. She encourages Scratch to go and ¨live his life¨ because she cares about Scratch being happy.

Similar to Marcy Wu, Molly learns that she can’t force people to do what she wants and she has to let them choose for themselves. She knows that encouraging Scratch to do what he always wanted to do as human is the right thing to do, even if it means saying goodbye to him.

I do understand the idea that Gravity Falls was doing at with something among the lines of ¨Dipper and Mabel not repeating the same mistakes that their uncles did¨ but that doesn’t mean Dipper has to give up his dreams at expense of what Mabel wants. As Dipper said in VS The Future episode: he can still visit and they can still talk to each other. They don’t have to fall apart the same way Standford and Stan did. Just like in Amphibia, if Marcy still was able to remain friends with Anne and Sasha over the years, the same can be applied to Dipper and Mabel as siblings.

If not, it could be rewritten in a way that makes Dipper reconsider that he would like to wait a few years before joining Stanford in his adventures. That he is still a kid and wants to spend a while longer figuring himself out and be with Mabel before making a decision. That way it feels more like a decision he wants to do for himself and goes along with his character arc that he doesn’t have to rush to grow up.

As for Mabel, she has a lot of growing up to do. She has to learn overtime that Dipper is his own person and he can take is own path. That if she wants to have friends or have in general healthy relationships with others, she can’t make it always about herself and people have their own needs as well. She would have to work on her codependency and clinginess she has on others, specially her own brother. This would help her with being a more mature capable individual when she grows up.

This post on itself isn’t me hating on Mabel’s character since she has moments she can be good and i feel a lot of her behaviour comes from not being taught properly and being a teenager. The problem is that the series doesn’t address this behaviour enough and, as result, it comes off as the series giving an unintentional underwhelming message of potraying Mabel’s issues as something that should be acceptable and not her having a dynamic with Dipper that comes off as toxic. It is important to understand to learn to support others and not always make things about ourselves. That sometimes relationships change and we can’t force people to be in a specific way.

[rafesapologist]

the set up — rafe cameron; part five

𝘀𝘂𝗺𝗺𝗮𝗿𝘆: you've been one of the pogues since childhood, and your loyalty has always lied within your friend group, who is practically your family. when a threat by the name of rafe cameron begins to threaten the pogue's plans, they assign you to gain the trust of the dubious kook and keep an eye on what he's up to. however, now it's been six months since your friends set you up to spy on the kook prince himself, but what you didn't anticipate was to fall head over heels for the boy. your relationship had soon become inviolable shortly after your guys' first exchanges, much to your friends' dismay, and you two became practically inseperable. that was, until rafe discovers the truth.

𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴(𝘀): cussing, depictions of violence, TENSION, angst, tw: topper

author's note: hi baby loves, i've been working on some stuff for you guys in the midst of uploading this chapter. i appreciate and love all of your kind words that you have given me during this series thus far ♡ had to cut this one a lil shorter than others as you will see why at the end, but y'all are going to be FED in the next chapter. here's to chapter 5!!

You felt a massive lump in your throat, swearing to yourself that it might've killed you from suffocation if it hadn't gone away. You stood a few feet away from JJ and Pope with your back facing the direction of where the adenoidal voice was coming from behind you. You quite literally felt like a deer in the headlights while you stood there, frozen by the fear that came over you as you looked to your friends with pure panic in your eyes. You knew immediately that trouble had approached you by the irate look in JJ's sapphire colored eyes and the horror in Pope's. You felt a miniscule sense of relief when you realized that the voice adressing the three of you was not that of Rafe Cameron's. You could recognize Rafe's gruff, low-toned voice from a mile away and the one you had heard was not nearly as deep as his.

Topper.

"Y/n, what are you doing with these duds?" Topper taunted with evident intentions to rile up your friends, more specifically, JJ.

"Top," you turned around swiftly, a painfully forced smile plastered onto your face, "I ran into them while I was in line. I just stopped to say hi before I came back over." You prevaricated the loathsome Kook, putting on a euphonious tone to try and impel him by toying with his weak spot for you.

However to your dismay, Topper shook his head at you as he inched closer, "I get that, but you see, we don't really fuck with them, y/n. Especially not Rafe." The blond forewarned of the conflict that was brewing, causing your mouth to go dry and your breath to stagger. It wasn't often you were left speechless, seeing how you always seemed to have an opinion about something, but for once you were utterly tongue-tied under Topper's stare.

"I know, but they're my friends and Rafe knows tha-"

"Whats going on- Y/n? What are you doing?" A thick voice rang throughout your ears, followed by the vision of Rafe coming into your view, a sight that made your heart skip a beat.

"I ran into JJ and Pope while I was in line. I just wanted to say hi." You admitted and your articulation subdued. Heat had began rising to your flushed cheeks, only to be made worse by the scorching heat of the mid-july temperatures and Rafe's daunting glare.

You wanted to crumble into a million pieces at the sound of Rafe's hauntingly dry chuckle emerging from the depths of his throat, almost ominous. You kept your eyes glued up at him as he approached you as the beating of your heart inside your chest sped up faster than ever. It wasn't necessarily for the fact that you were scared of Rafe, but that he was unpredictable and arbitrary at times. The only ones who truly needed to be afraid in that moment was JJ and Pope, which had you on edge.

"Hey Top," Rafe motioned towards his blond acquaintance with a subtle head nod before wrapping an arm over your shoulders and pulling you into his side swiftly, "y/n and I are going to head back over to our seats. You think you got it from here?" His question alerting your attention immediately, causing you to furrow your brows at the lanky boy next to you.

"Yeah I think so, actually Kelce and Ryan are on their way." Topper flashed a small smirk in Rafe's direction, illiciting a nearly sadistic grin to form onto his face. After getting the confirmation from his friend, Rafe began to guide the two of you back over to the spot you were sat at previously, passing by the two Kooks Topper had just mentioned while on the walk back.

"Rafe, what are they doing?" You inquired wearily, shaming yourself for the way your voice cracked when trying to speak.

"They're just talking things out, y/n. Nothing to worry about." Rafe's words sounded sincere but you could tell by that familiar smug smirk on his face that he was being anything but that. You knew his attempt to soothe your nerves was merely half-hearted, not because he didn't care about you, but rather due to the fact that the talk about your fellow Pogue coevals left a sour taste in his mouth.

You kept walking in compliance with Rafe's request to remove you from the situation that was fermenting at the concession stand, but your mind was still racing at the thought of what was happening back there. You knew that if it involved Topper, or any of the Kooks for that matter, JJ and Pope would be in for it. You pondered on the reoccuring thought that those fiendish Kooks might actually end up hurting your friends, and you shivered at the thought of any of them laying a hand on the two boys.

You fought with the notion that they were up to no good for a few moments, however, you feared Rafe would catch onto where your head was at and grow frustrated with you. But nevertheless, you couldn't fight the thoughts that plagued every part of your encephalon. Therefore, just before you lost complete sight of the group of boys a few feet behind, you turned your head over your shoulder to sneak a peek at what was truly unfolding.

Once you had finally got a glimpse of what was going on, you couldn't help but scream.

"JJ! Pope!" You hollered with an unalloyed terror that captured Rafe's attention immediately.

"Shh, hey, hey, y/n?" Rafe placed his hands firmly on your shoulders, blocking your view of the altercation taking place by standing directly in front of you.

"Rafe- I, they're hurting my friends!" You pointed at the sight of both Pope and JJ lying on the ground while a trio of Kooks took turns throwing punches and kicks at their defenseless bodies. You winced as you watched Topper mercilessly send his foot right into the side of JJ's ribcage with force, causing your heart to break internally at the visual once you realized somewhere in that same area a previous bruise lingered there from JJ's dad a week before.

Rafe surveyed your piteous expression as tears began to brim in your eyes that were written over with a dolorous countenance that struck him deeply. Although it had amused him to watch his enemies in such a defenseless state, his merriment was soon erased by the way your hands began to shake and your tumefied lips trembled. He had never seen you in such a state of distress before, a vastly different version of the girl who was always giving him mordant comments and a insouciant demeanor. It began to settle within him that it really did hurt you to see your friends that way.

"Topper! That's enough." Rafe called out, bringing his friends to a fault in unison.

"But Rafe you-"

"I said cut the shit. You've made your point, now lets go." Rafe reaffirmed his position with his demand, causing the rest of the Kooks to remove themselves from your, now, battered friends as they groaned in agony. Rafe's sudden shift in demeanor left you both confused and speechless, wondering why he so suddenly had a change of heart in your friends' fate. But regardless, you were thankful there was some humanity inside of him left.

"Thank you." You whispered barely audibly as you looked up at Rafe as he sent daggers at his friends as they headed back over towards the two of you. You noticed that Rafe's rancorous impression began to soften as his eyes trailed down to meet yours. He huffed in a sense of defeat, a rather sincere appearance taking over his features. His azure eyes flickered between both of yours, looking as if he was in deep thought. You didn't dare to break eye contact with him, however, instead you kept your gaze locked onto him as you awaited his next response.

"You have no idea what you do to me." He muttered out quietly without even blinking. His declaration making your breath hitch in your throat as you stared up at him blankly, rendering yourself speechless once again.

"I don't understand." You voiced in a tremulous manner, one that you mentally cursed yourself for since you seemed so vulnerable against Rafe.

"Did you not see what I just did for you back there?" He retorted, a dry laugh escaping his rose-colored lips.

"For me?" You repeated.

"You really think I gave a shit if they hurt your little Pogue friends? I would've let them finish both of them off if it wasn't for that damn look on your face." Rafe sighed. For once, he had finally broke eye contact with you, leaving you to feel even more confused than you were before. You couldn't entirely wrap your head around why he was doing this, whether this was just some sick game to him or that seeing you so upset genuinely did bother him. Either ways, it was evident that he was uncomfortable discussing whatever it was that he was feeling in that moment, but you were curious, and desired a reason why.

"What are you talking about? I didn't make you do anything, Rafe." You attested, folding your arms in defense.

"You didn't have to," Rafe shook his head, looking down at you with pleading eyes that made goosebumps rise along your skin , "You have this thing about you, y/n. You walk around this island with this attitude that nothing can get to you, like nobody can say shit to you. But when it's just you and me, I see the way you become so fragile, like I'm gonna break you or something." His voice lowered as he closed in the proximity between your bodies, allowing you to feel the heat of his begin to warm yours.

"There's a part of you that's so naive. You take in the world with so much hope, like everything and everyone is fixable, like it's your job to fix them. I bet that's why you cling onto those Pogues of yours, cause you know they're damaged and you relate to it. You wanna fix them like you wish someone did for you." The blue-eyed boy continued, only for his presence to grow increasingly more intimidating than ever before. You picked up on how his voice deepend and his irises began to darken as he looked down on you, a hunger-filled glimmer in his eyes.

"You're wrong." You rejected his accusation although you weren't the least bit convincing. You hung your head low and refused to look up at him while his stare endlessly bored into your soul.

"You know I'm not," Rafe avowed, placing his index finger below your chin gently, forcing you to look up at him as he spoke, "you just don't want to admit it to yourself. You can lie all you want, but I see right through it."

"Even if it were true, what does it matter to you?" You scoffed, feeling a sense of defensiveness as though he was ridiculing you.

"Relax princess, I'm not judging." He chuckled lowly, "I'm saying that I see you for who you are. I mean, I get why you do it, trust me. But for once, why don't you let that wall down? Let me take care of you, instead of you taking care of everyone else for a change." His warm hands began to ghost up your forearms, trailing the places that made your ears ring.

"I don't know, I-"

"I'd make you forget about all that shit in your past," Rafe came down to whisper in your ear, his lips a mere centimeters from touching your skin, "make you feel good for once." He cooed.

You were strong. So very strong in a world filled with gawking men and empty promises. But when you saw that look on Rafe Cameron's face, looking down at you as though he was drunk off your presence, you could've swore your knees were going to buckle right there. You had never felt such an intensity before as you did under the gaze of the blue-eyed Kook, despite having plenty of experience prior to him. But he had much more conviction with his words than anyone else had ever shown you, a credence that you couldn't even deny yourself. You wanted to shove him off and do what your mind was telling you to, but your body and heart said otherwise. You froze right before him, allowing him to take you under his magnetizing spell while his fingers danced along your soft skin. You fought in desperation with your indecorous thoughts with hope that if you ignored them that they would go away, but you for unfortunately mistaken as the feeling of Rafe's touch became more persuasive than the voices in your head telling you to run.

"Can we get out of here?" You asked abruptly, your body full of heat.

"I thought you'd never ask."

taglist (if i forgot u please let me know, i'm trying to keep a list of everyone!):  @ellesalazar, @champomiel, @vadinaleme, @kys4-20, @gills-lounge, @allsmilesreally7, @sublimepenguinpeach-blog, @sp00ky-spr1te, @bibliophilewednesday, @haroldpotterson, @i-love-rafe, @ellesalazar, @calmoistorm, @abundantxadorations, @fals3-g0d

[darkness-follows]

hey! i love your writing! there’s so little for Boyd x reader out there, so if you’re up for it could you maybe write something for him? maybe a little hurt/comfort and smutty?? he’s such a weirdo and i love him sm

thank you! and have a nice day :)

Thank you, thank you !!!! And of course!!! I hope the changes I made and the idea it turned into still all work for this !

Boyd x Female Reader

I'm still not over the end of City Primeval because it was so perfect and makes up for how in my opinion the other 7 episodes were a bit of a tough chew. Not bad! But not fantastic either.. but still, consider giving it a watch especially for the end of episode 8 for this mini multi part fic might spoil some things!!!!

It hurts so good aka a Justified: City Primeval sequal to the OG show with older Boyd and a Prison Guard reader who falls madly in love with him.

TW: Blood. Wounds. Prison stuff. Smut (cavity/strip search). Gross other prisoners.

Enjoy PART 1:

First day on the Job. A Female prison Guard in a men only Penitentiary, it takes a lot to stomach everything, the comments, the looks, the disgusting things prisoners say to you. But you prepared for this, you got trained for this and hell you will make the best of it! You get to meet the non violent prisoners first, the ones who aren't arrested for rape or torture or anything of that kind. It's also the first time you meet Boyd Crowder. Your family being from Harlan Kentucky you heard some stories..

You know of him, but not a whole lot about him.

Though mistakes happen in prison especially on a first day. Your partner accidentally left you alone with Boyd and another prisoner in the back of the kitchen. And men who were locked up for a long time...don't exactly behave the best towards a young, pretty attractive new Guard. "Didn't know they hire models" the prisoner says, it's a mild start but it gets worse and worse. Until he makes a move towards you, he grabs your wrist and tries to pull your hand towards his crotch "let go! Let go of me!!" You try to pull away but he's twice your size.

You hear a loud bang and all of a sudden the prisoner has his eyes snapped on Crowder.

"Jerry! That ain't how we treat women now is it? You better confess what you've done if you wish to sleep in peace tonight" Boyd turns to take the man's shoulder, guiding him slowly out of the kitchen. "You don't want any suprise visits tonight do you Jerry?" He whispers before he shoves him out of the kitchen.

Shaking his head "I'm sorry about that, some of em really don't know how to behave. You okay?" He asks and when your eyes meet his it's almost..magnetic. "hm? Oh! Yeah! Yes thank you, I was ready to get that taser out" You huff.

"Oh please there is no need to thank me, I'm sorry your first day went like that, I sincerely hope one bad Apple doesn't spoil the whole bunch for you now. There are some good men in this place." He points out. The way he speaks and the methaphor.. you heard he has a certain charm to him but seeing it in real life, hearing his buttery accent and the way he carries himself despite the orange prison attire? He's a bit Interesting..

"I'm known to hand out a few chances" You smile and open up the knife drawer with your keys. Your duty is to observe their cooking and Crowder was listed as green when it comes to kitchen supplies such as knives.

"Gotta admit I might be the same way, Lord knows I've been giving away chances like free candy" He takes one of the bigger kitchen knives to start cutting the vegetables Jerry was supposed to take care of. The way he keeps looking over his shoulder at you to talk makes you feel a certain kind of warmth. He's really making sure to adress you respectfully, keeping eye contact and not looking you up and down like the rest of em in this place.

"Well, thanks again Crowder." You nod. Keeping it professional.

🕐

2 weeks into a new job and it's safe to say that you adjusted well, you know who to trust and who to get along with, which prisoners are the nice kind and which ones are the bad. This place works like a perfectly oiled machine, everything is time based and the system of the prison works. You shouldn't have a favorite prisoner but this Crowder guy doesn't seem too bad. You've been through his file a little, it's a hefty record for a man who seems so nice and collected. You also stumbled across some pictures of an injury he got inside.

Graphic pictures of a mean looking burn on his upper arm, investigation showed second degree burns to apparently scorch a hateful Tattoo off of his skin. Ouch. Yet no agressor is listed, apparently, he wouldn't say who did it to him. It was his first week of kitchen duty too.

You see Crowder again in the kitchen, it's easy for New Guards to be posted at Lunch and dinner. Observe everything.

"You've got to try this! For prison chow it really is somethin' " Crowder points out, stirring a pot.

You hesitate at first but you are pretty sure he wouldn't try and poison you. Not like this anyways. "I don't know If..- I'm allowed to" You frown but with a smile. Though no other guards are around so maybe it's fine. The smile on his face when you step closer is almost sweet, he takes a spoon and puts some of the food onto it, holding it out to you. You don't even really think about it when you open your mouth and your lips move around the spoon that he's holding. Too distracted by the taste.

"Wow!" You huff suprised, chewing slowly. "That really is good" How on earth does prison food taste better than the food at your own table at home?

"You like it? It's a old Crowder family recipe. It's easy to make but got quite the kick to it!" He throws you another rather off putting smile, why is he so nice? You read his file you know he's not violent for no reason but it's still a bit unusual.

"Yeah I do like it! You gotta give me that recipe" You take a few steps back again, licking your lips softly. That was really tasty.

"Is that an order, Guard?" He asks, wiping his hands on a kitchen towel and turning to face you. The tension in the room is suddenly different, heated, you don't know what he's getting at but it's best to put a cork in it, now.

"No?" You question. "Now get back to work" .

"That was an order" You tease.

His chuckle rings in your ears for a moment, you really do have a strange relationship with him.

🕒

Its not unusual to play favorites in a place like this but you and Crowder became..close. It's been a month now for you in Kentucky's Tramble Penitentiary. Everytime you interact with Boyd you laugh, you smile, he smiles, it really feels like you starting to develop a crush. Which is bad. Biggest rule in the game. Don't fuck the inmates. Ever. Cooking duty for him means you can always watch him fix up something nice for the other inmates. He really always takes his time, he always makes it great.

Up until today.

"God! Fuckin' damn it!" You hear Boyd curse loudly and when you rush to the kitchen to take a look you can see blood. Your hand moves to your taser.

"Easy! Didn't stab nobody, just cut myself, the fucking cucumber slipped off the board." He holds his fingers and you can see blood slowly running down his hand and arm. Luckily you have some mild medical training.

You radio in the incident and your current Boss gives the clear, your allowed to take care of the injury and put someone else on cooking duty.

You swap out inmates and a coworker takes over the Observation while you take Crowder to the small medicial room at the end of the hallway. A own room for minor things so they don't all end up clogging up the only Hospital wing in the entire prison.

But you've never been in this area or this room before and suddenly it dawns on you, you are new and your alone here with a prisoner known for Manipulation tactics. The fear becomes reality when you finally take a closer look at his injury. No way in hell was that an accidental cut, the placement is way off.

"What's the plan Boyd? Jump me. Take my keycard, my taser, make your way out the back?" You huff.

You hope you are wrong but when he starts to chuckle you can feel your stomach turn.

"No darlin' not quite." He points out.

"God and here I was thinking you weren't like the other's" your hand reaches for your Radio again to call it in when he's suddenly a few steps too close.

"It ain't like that" Boyd takes another step closer.

"Come one now, you need me to spell it out for you?" His voice...his smile.. he's...- is he trying to seduce you?!

"What? Yes. I think you do" your hand leaves off the radio.

"We have been dancin' around reach other for a month now, as nice of a dance as it was, you wanna leap off that stage now don't you? See the Real Deal." He suggests.

You can't help but to burst into a soft laughter "You think I want to sleep with you???" You shake your head and turn away from him, grabbing some rubbing alcohol and a Band aid for his self inflicted dumb cut.

"I don't just think so, I know so" He points out. Stepping behind you while you gather the supplies.

"Your crazy. I really underestimated your Level of crazy. Now give me that hand and then I'll take you back to your cell" You chuckle again. Staring at him when you turn around and he holds up the cut in his hand. Your hands tremble while you pour the alcohol onto a cottonball. Taking his hand into yours, cleaning the cut and then the rest of the blood from his hand and arm. His fingers, his breathing.. He takes another step forward and you take one back. Feeling the wall against your back, shaky hands trying to hold still while you slap the band aid onto his wound. Once that's done his hand closes around yours.

"You mean it? I've been imagining things... you don't want me?" He tries to confirm that he actually might have been wrong about you.

But you can't help it, you let his hand take yours.

Your hesitation speaks volumes.

Your hand presses against his chest, but he leans in to kiss you anyways. His lips are so gentle, so careful, he's not aggressive or demanding. It's almost sweet if you don't think about the fact that this could get you fired and that having a crush or fling with him won't work. Because at the end of the day he's in here and you are out there.

You break the soft kiss with a sigh.

"No..- I don't want to sleep with you, now take a step back Crowder" You raise your shoulders, making yourself a bit taller.

He nods. And he does.

"Apparently im off my game, it's been a while" He frowns. "I deeply apologize." He keeps his head down for a moment.

He genuinely seems sad. As if he can't believe he made such a mistake.

"Your not off your game." You finally say. "Imma have to get a uh, a transfer I think, to another ward, having feelings for an inmate is unacceptable."

His head lifts up slowly.

"Here I was thinkin' all these little things were signs you wanted my flesh. But it aint just that huh?" The smile on his face makes you roll your eyes. "You like me" He grins. "Shut up" You groan.

"As in, a little crush! Or a big crush? Good Lord! Are you in love with me?!" Now he's just being mean.

"I said shut up!" You chuckle.

And then he hugs you.

You expected everything but that...

His arms around you feel so strangely comforting, you know this is wrong, you read his charges, you know very well why he's in here and yet here you are, in his damn arms. Your hands are hesitant, but slowly you stroke your palm over his back and your other holds onto his upper arm, where you feel the scar tissue underneath your finger tips.

"Why did you never tell who did this to you?" You ask, hand soothing over the uneven skin. It's a really bad burn scar, thick and leathery almost in it's texture.

He slowly lets go of your frame, placing his palm onto your face. "Cause I did that myself." He tugs a piece of your hair behind your ear before his lips place a kiss onto your head. "They woulda thrown me into isolation for it, marked me up as a danger to myself, couldn't risk that...-" He adds. Taking a step back then.

"Why did you do it? Apart from the obvious.." your skin feels on fire, you want more, your lips are dying for a kiss that takes your breath away and your hands are aching for a body to cling to.

"Form of self punishment, I guess." Incredible how sane and yet insane such a Statement sounds, you kind of understand. Pointing to his hand "And you did that to sleep with me?" You huff. It's a strange way to go about things, that's for sure.

"Well, had to get you alone somehow didn't I?" His face changes when he looks at you a little while longer, taking a deep breath. "But I gotta admit, this was quite the suprise, might be even been better than a simple, fleeting, lustful exchange. I deeply honor that you.. care about a man such as myself." He likes it, he wouldn't have it any other way actually.

"Doesn't matter much does it? Not like there is anything to be build here" The alarm starts blasting which means Lunch is over and it's back to the cells.

He missed Lunch for you.

You take a hold of his shoulder to walk him back to his cell, his cellmate not being there yet you step inside for a second.

"Don't request a transfer.." He whispers. "Seeing your face every day for the last month while cooking has been the happiest I have been in a while, don't take that from me, please." He seems really sincere.

You nod "Okay." Then you leave his cell.

Fuck, you can't believe you have a crush and that he kissed you, and that he hugged you, hell he even knicked himself with that knife to get to be alone with you and then also asked to not stop seeing you everyday.

Falling for an inmate was not on your list, especially not THE Boyd Crowder.

🕔

Fights happen very very often in tight spaces like these with a bunch of criminals. Unfortunately Crowder was in the room where it happend, which means by the damn book, strip search. Someone could be hiding a self made knive, razorblade glued to a toothbrush..hide drugs.. anything.

"Crowder. Room 3." The guard yells, FUCK. You were hoping he'd be called to a different room, you change your gloves from the last inmates search, leaning against the medical shelf when he steps inside. The instant smirk on his face makes you flush Red.

"Well ain't that somethin' , guess it's your lucky day" He closes the door and takes off his shoes. Not his first strip and not your first search but.. this is pretty damn intimate. Even if you try to not treat it that way, you like him, and he knows you like him, and now you get to do a body search on him? It might really be your lucky damn day.

"Hey now! Im a pro" You wiggle your gloved fingers.

"I bet you are darlin' " He steps closer, opening the buttons on his orange prison jumper. The reveal of his chest and his shoulders is already pretty nice to see but when he drops it lower and you get to see his abs and his hips and his V line it's starting to get steamy in the room. He Strips the jumper and stands in his white boxershorts.

"Don't you worry now, I think I'd be quite alright with a bit of touching" He clicks his tongue, taking off his boxers. And Jesus christ. Seems like Boyd Crowder isn't just all talk, he really got the package to back it up. Good for him!

"You are staring" He comments.

"No! What? Im not! Turn around" You huff, watching him turn around and place his hands against the wall. Fuck, this shouldn't be so damn hot.

"Bend uh, bend over...you know how this goes come on Boyd" You sigh.

His chuckle makes your head spin, you really didn't think this would happen today. But you got a job to do, it's not like you don't trust him but .. you have to do this right?

You take a deep breath before you step behind him, patting down his hair first, armpits, his hips, people get creative. Some even hide blades in their own damn skin. When your hands move to his pretty nice butt you hesitate.

"Oh come on now sweetheart. Ain't my first rodeo. Let's go" He huffs. You nod. Taking the lube from the medical cabinet, you hands spread his buttcheeks apart, when you don't see or feel anything it's time for the uncomfortable finger. You apply enough lube and with a soothing hand on his hip you gently push a finger inside of him.

You don't take him for the type to shove drugs up his damn ass but this is simply part of the job. Of course you don't feel anything so you move to take your finger away again but then he..moans.

A long deep right out of his lungs kind of moan.

You move your finger slowly again in the same motion and his body tightens. "You uh, you okay?" You ask.

He nods. Which is not a yes and not no to you.

"Bit sensitive are we Crowder?" You ask and you could swear to god that he pushes back against your hand. "I think I have to be really thorough here." You slowly push a second finger inside of him.

"Fuck...-" He moans deeply.

"I'm so sorry!" You panic a bit.

"No your fine..- just god please don't stop".

"Don't stop what? That?" You move your fingers the way you did before again and again..- getting a bit deeper each time. His head is resting on the arm that's holding him against the wall, you can tell he's breathing faster, his skin is flush. Someone likes a bit of a prostate massage.. Interesting.

Boyd's breathing sounds so insanely erotic, you never heard a man make these noises before.

His other hand spreads him open a bit, watching your fingers move in and out of him. You never thought you'd be into that but? The way he sounds so broken by how good it feels? The fact that it makes him feel so good makes you feel good in return. That's all that matters right?

You step closer to him, placing a gentle kiss onto his back while your free hand reaches around him. Stroking over his Rock hard cock.

"Good lord, Ain't that some kind of abuse of Power?" He comments but he likes it, he could easily make you stop if he wanted to. Looking at you with big desperate beautiful eyes.

"You wanna file a complaint?" You kiss his shoulder and his back again. His hips starting to meet your pace is incredible.

"Phew aren't you all wound up, how long has it been Boyd? Since you felt a womans touch? Soft lips against your skin, delicate hand around your cock?" You whisper and it feels as if he's crumbling at your words. All desperate and defeated. That certainly is a new look for Boyd Crowder.

"Too long way too long" He breathes out.

"Am I doing a good job?" You ask hopeful.

"The best..." his voice is dripping with something sweet, he sounds so thankful.

When you push your fingers into him harder you can feel his hips shiver. He likes it a little rough too apparently.

You keep the stronger pace of your fingers, hand stroking his cock in the same motion.

The orgasm you get to witness is stunning, breathtaking. He tries to swallow his moans but his body clenches around your fingers and his cock throbs in your hand while rows of cum spray the wall in front of him. It's easy to tell without a vocal Orchestra that he really enjoyed himself. Carefully letting go of him and taking your gloves off.

"God damn Baby." He chuckles when he turns around.

He picks up his clothes and gets dressed again fairly quickly, closing the buttons on his prison jumper. He even has the damn courtesy of taking some paper towels and cleaning up the mess he made, tossing them and washing his hands before he looks at you.

"You really have me question what we are here..." He tilts his head and you can still see the remains of a blush on his skin.

"I've never done this before, all these other guys they are so...uptight, uncomfortable, and then you come along moaning around" You huff.

"Which I never done before either!! No other guard has ever gotten me like this, I think it's more of the person, the person being a woman I rather fancy" He smirks a bit. "I bet any touch of yours would make me sing such tunes darlin' " God the charisma of this man is teeth rotting sweet.

"Your ridiculous" You comment, but you should move on now, you don't want people to question why this is taking so long.

"Ridiculousy smitten, correct." He nods.

"Go now, smitten or not this is still a crime" You nod towards the door but instead of him going both of his hands take your face. Kissing you slow and sweet before he has to let go. "Might get myself into some more trouble if that means I get to be seein' you" he winks before he opens the door.

He's such an idiot but...god you too are pretty damn smitten.

💞🕒💞🕒💞🕒💞

To be continued...

Hey thank you for reading. I hope you liked it. And I hope you are excited for more !

Tags:

@justme12200 @cat-shepard @megangovier

@ivyinthesun @catclaw12

If I wrongly tagged someone or forgot someone im super sorry !!! I gotta start making a damn list hahaha.

[killcodesashes]

[QUICK RANT ABOUT QUEER REPRESENTATION IN TSAMS/TSBS SHOWS]

[As a genderfluid aroace person myself.]

TSAMS

Uh. I don't like it. Aroace Moon? Cool. Absolutely valid, we love him for that. Wasn't adressed much except in a few episodes which are pretty good, I liked the one where he rejects Foxy a lot!

But recently- g e e z. I understand wanting to bait people in with ships people want! Specifically KidsCove. Same in tmgafs! But the problem is that they do it not just to tease/mess around with the viewers in good fun, they genuinely seem to hate the shippers and actually want to make fun of them? Not just with kidscove but with any other ship that isn't canon. They don't even want to confirm Sun's sexuality, just constantly making it a gag that he has a bisexual flag in his room. Which as a queer person? It's just annoying. Just really annoying ? Please all we want is a confirmation or something? We want queer characters we can actually relate to. And we don't really get that :( Then New Moon came along and said it was possible he wasn't aroace. . . And then they never mentioned it again. So why mention it in the first place ? I don't think I would've minded it if he had just changed how much attraction he felt but was STILL aroace/on the aroace spectrum. As long as it was actually clarified. But they seemed eager to rush to his evil era so they didn't bother to close to any lose ends before hand, though I guess being aroace might've just not been as relevant.

On a bit of a side note- Ruin feels very gay coded. Very gay. There is no way he's straight T.T he's a villain but he's a zesty man and we absolutely adore him for that!!

That was probably an accident, though. Every theatre kid seems gay! /lhj

Just overall upsets me that the VAs seem to act offended by the mere idea of shipping characters? As if that's not a common/vital part of every fandom.

[OTHER SHOWS UNDER THE CUT]

TMGAFS

Upsets me that they can't clarify Puppets identity or pronouns? [Or maybe they have recently but I genuinely doubt it]

Because who are they meant to actually represent ?? It's probably just me but I wish it was more clear or something. I appreciate the VA for trying I do though, absolutely love that guy[Foxy’s VA, genuinely seems to just be a chill guy. And I think it's really cool that he actually does roles that could come off very cringe, voicing most of the cringe dimension characters +struggling with Puppets voice for the longest time.] I just wanna know if Puppet is a trans fem queen or trans masc slay or just trans ? But nothing seems to be clarified.

Again with KidsCove? Genuinely just annoying how they blatantly just do it to make fun of the people who ship them and get views from them.

Foxy seemed to have been gay before his memory loss. Or was at the very least interested in men to an extent. But since he began to be the main character of a show he suddenly only likes women?? S u s. They really keep insisting he's extremely straight and genuinely just annoys me that they erased him being interested in men [Proved he liked men in the episode he asked Moon out.]

. . .now. . . M o n t y. As a genderfluid person? I hate them and literally feel more represented and seen by cis characters from other shows. For the longest time Monty being genderfluid wasn't even adressed and was usually just brought up for plot reasons or something? And it pissed me of that every time they correct a character on Monty's pronouns.. they immediately go back to using he/him pronouns. I think the new fem body is pretty neat! Though I think it would've been more interesting for Monty to stay masc but ACTUALLY get their right pronouns used and their identity getting genuinely respected DESPITE of their appearance. But the body? It's genuinely completely fine! /gen I used to hate my body too and understand that the writers might've thought it might be easier for people if they just used a different body completely! But it annoys me that my gender representation comes in the form of M o n t y. The annoying character known for constantly hating on others and partially destroying their lives. Anyone can be genderfluid, yes. But when the representation is so little? I just wish it was at least a bit better or with a less hateable character.

TLAES

Lunar! Uh. Again can we just get clarification on his sexuality? Is he polyamorous? Bisexual? Omnisexual? Just any clarification please?

Gemini! I wish they were canon nonbinary. They're literally stars. Why did they have to be gendereddd. Also curious about their 'sexuality'? Will also likely never get clarification on it :/

OTHER SHOWS/SIDE NOTES

Roxanne is canon lesbian and so is Glamrock Chica! I'm so sorry but I forgot his name T~T I think it was Tiger Rock[??] Is also canonically gay! Glam Chica has a girlfriend! And I do think their relationship is pretty cute [from what I've seen] and overall wish I would finally get to watching the show a bit more! Funtime Foxy feels very queer to me? Not just because his design is pink but his overall characterization! He does have a girlfriend! But he seems to be comfortable in his own identity and presentation from what I've seen? At least, it seems to be more comfortable than some o t h e r characters. I feel more represented by Funtime Foxy and Lolbit than I ever felt represented by Monty. But that is a personal opinion!

I overall have just lost interest in all of the shows. I'm tired of being constantly disappointed and lead on. But I do wish I could watch more of the other shows since they seem to show more love and care towards their characters :)

CLOSING THOUGHTS!

It's just shows. Does any of this really matter? I think it matters when the shows are claiming to have good representation when they really don't. And they're allowing people who aren't queer/a part of the LGBTQIA+ community to feel like they have the right to shut real queer people down. I've seen so much acephobia and overall homophobia even in this community. A l o t in this community. I wish the writers would listen to ACTUAL QUEER PEOPLE!! I wish the VIEWERS listened to ACTUAL QUEER PEOPLE.

That's what I really want. I just want to be heard and represented.

I don't claim this community. I CAN'T claim a community who is constantly against us.

LISTEN TO QUEER VOICES.

[mtkay13]

And yet.... another..... Face reveal illustration.

And of course, another long post, LOL.

More thoughts on the passage below!

This illustration is born from a hyperfocus of mine on this sentence:

Ah-Xu... [...] Did... did I tell you that I like men?"

他忽然发现，其实对方一辈子都不将那易容卸下来，在自己心里，也从来就应该是这样一副模样，如今看到他长得竟如自己想象中的感觉别无二致，就像是……已经认识了他很久很久一样。 [Wen Kexing] suddenly realized that, should [Zhou Zishu] have kept the mask on forever, this was the face he'd have pictured in his heart. Now, seeing this face that exactly matched the one he had pictured, it simply felt like.... meeting again with someone he'd known for a very, very long time.

This, to me, feels like the comforting familiarity of knowing, of understanding a friend, feeling at ease despite the years, the distance; the feeling of meeting a friend IRL for the first time despite knowing them for years, and yet everything clicks--

To me, the beauty in this passage is in how the mask... never really did anything, change anything. Wen Kexing became friends with the person behind the mask, felt this deep connection for this man regardless of what he could look like, and seeing him, now, his face revealed, is that comfort of, yes--I recognize you. It's you.

What I really enjoy in TYK is Wenzhou's companionship, the way they understand each other so profoundly, and their friendship. The fact that they liked each other as people first, that they connected so well despite the odds. This connection between them makes a lot of the feelings mutual, and I feel like this sentence above, part of it is felt by Zhou Zishu as well; and removing his mask, although it is for practical reasons within the context of the story, showing his face to Wen Kexing is a way to affirm trust, both ways. I trust you with my own face, but you can also trust me--because I show you, I welcome you in. This passage... almost feels like a greeting. "Hello again, friend." except they've been tagging along for a while, now.

I used to wonder if Zhou Zishu was nervous about Wen Kexing seeing his face, as I do think he's a bit self-conscious about his frail body and struggles to understand Wen Kexing's big declaration of attraction to him--sort of like, "will he still like me, what will he think of my face?". I don't really stand by that anymore, because my understanding of ZZS has changed since then. It really feels more like, it's fine, we know each other, we're friends anyway now whether I like it or not. I wonder, is he a bit happy that he gets to greet WKX with his real face? He mentions having counted on keeping his mask until he dies, but... ? It's pretty obvious that at this point in the story, ZZS is already deeply fond of WKX, so I can't help but feel like he is happy, deep down, that he gets to make that connection.

For WKX, it must be comforting, but also quite bittersweet. His appreciation, his growing love for ZZS, only comforted by this familiarity, this acknowledgement of companionship, of ease together, while he is so deeply aware that ZZS is condemned... I feel like at this moment, he must want to hug him, to keep him close, and think, I wish I could have him longer, I wish he could stay; for he's the only friend he's ever had, for he never connected with someone like that before.

Now to adress the elephant in the room and jump onto the next topic, I keep saying "friend", "companion". Needless to say that I am well aware that wenzhou have a romantic+ bond, but I just feel like this part highlights this aspect of their relationship that I profoundly cherish. And thus we reach WKX's very famous line:

It's hilarious, perfectly timed, but I especially love how I feel like, rather than highlighting how gorgeous or attractive ZZS could be, this is yet another way for WKX to lighten his own mood, to detach himself from the deeper feelings, the longing, the fondess, the comfort--given how untimely this all is. It hurts, to feel attached to ZZS as a person, because he's going to die soon, while joking about fucking and being gay always works, and it has the benefit to make ZZS flustered.

So yeah, point is, I'm obsessed with that scene.

Also, obligatory reference to the past versions, which I noticed make sort of a nice movement? haha.

I'm not really standing by the first one anymore, but it works in that context!

[wandering-tides]

TNE Fandom where are you?

Sujin shippers where are you?

I have Fics to Rec

I don't really go out of my way to rec fics (and I dunno why I have never done this before on tumblr), but BY GOD, have these two fics taken a special place in my heart.

I ADORE everything about them.

They are both Suho x Hajin ships

But the ship aside, I am so incredibly grateful for the authors to have brought them to life and allowed us to read these absolute GEMS of a fic in this little, little fandom of The Novel's Extra.

Really, y'guys have no idea how giddy and excited I get at every update.

Now, the fic in question?

1. Flowers of Agápē by DescendedGaia (Not sure if the author has a tumblr or any other social media... but lemme know if you want me to tag you :) )

Kim Hajin is a failure. There's no two ways to look at that objective truth. It's a truth that resonates through how others look at and ridicule him. It's a truth that echoes infinitely inside his head, compounding and doubling down on his inadequacies. It's a truth, despite the unconditional love of two parents that soothe but cannot dispel those haunting doubts. Kim Suho is simply perfection. The desperate vessel and ideal of Hajin's "ifs" and wishes. Because Kim Suho, the protagonist of Hajin's novel, is everything Hajin wants to be for his parents and more. But, that same story falls apart at the seams the same way Hajin has lost faith in himself. Yet, as the common narrative dictates, everything begins anew with an innocuous email requesting to remake Hajin's novel, his desperation and desire incarnate.

*** Alternatively, the extremes of Korean culture break Kim Hajin into someone who feels much more acutely, and everything shifts to the left.

This is such a MASTERPIECE. Hajin's characterisation in here is just *chefs kiss*. For me, thats one of the biggest plus points in this fic. Hajin is so much more emotionally sensitive in here and feels far more acutely than in the orignal, as should have been.

This fic has been adressing almost all the points that made me frown at or dislike in the orignal novel and manhwa (and from what I can notice, almost every one too).

This fic is kinda a rewrite of the orignal novel, (tho the author follows the manhwa flow of the story) with added Suho interactions, and such good characterization of Hajin, I fell in love at first read LMAO.

So far, there aren't any major spoilers (unless you read the author end note, where they give their own tid-bits of the chap, which sometimes contain spoilers too, or go to the comment section which may sometimes give you spoilers to the novel lol) If you are caught up with the manhwa, or atleast the season 1 of manhwa, then so far there won't be any spoilers for you!

And I think i'll stop talking about it here cuz if I keep going, I think i'll end up giving in-fic spoilers Lmao

(Oh, btw, this updates every other thursday! So far, it's been consistent in its updates ^^)

So onto the next fic!

2. Mountain To No one by @thek1ngtalks (as k1ng0fn0b0dy on ao3)

There's a number on his smartwatch that leads to nowhere. Suho's gotten in the habit of texting it throughout his day. Today, it texted back.

_ Or, in a world missing Kim Hajin, everyone is worse off. Fixing this starts with (a lot of) text messages between a protagonist and his missing piece.

And Man.... where do I begin? I have SO MUCH to say about this fic but I think i'll end up spoiling the whole fic if I start lmao. It's just so good dammit. Just gonna say that this fic takes after the end of the novel, after the conclusion. Only couple few remembers Hajin in the orignl right? Well, in this fic, nobody does. But Suho is probably (???) Going to be the first to remember... I dunno tbh, the fic is only 2 chaps in (and yes, I really adore it already)

I love what the author did with Suhos character and how he is dealing with the aftermath of... everything. Same goes for Hajin, and I love where they seems to be taking this fic. How they characterizes these two main characters and everything.

Listen, I have a LOT to say but i'll just end up giving spoilers so really go read it for yourself. This is another MASTERPIECE of a fic and I am so grateful for its presence in this little TNE fandom TT

Really, thankyou for such amazing fics authors!!

And that's all from me!! Lol I was so excited while writing this XD (could you tell? Lol)

(I edited this post twice because of all the typos I ended up making in excitement LMAO)

[lemmeurs]

okay. here is my 1600+ words essay on raphael. if anyone would like to adress anything from it, please do but keep it civil! i am so damn invested in this topic, i wanna hear everyone's thoughts

raphael rant

(DISCLAIMER: this essay was not written in order to justify Raphael as a character or any of his actions or intentions. i am completely skipping any point of morality, whether my own or just in general, i simply wanted to somehow try and write my feelings and thoughts down while looking at the whole thing from an objective point of view, analyzing the design of the game, the plotline and his whole persona and just.. idk i wanted to see whether anyone else felt the way i do because i have been going INSANE over this for the past few days)

hi. i have come here today to express my thoughts and feelings on Raphael the cambion and "his final act". this is being randomly and spontaneously written in my notes app so please excuse the absolute chaos that this essay will be (no i won't be rereading it, fuck it we ball) (CONTAINS BG3 ACT III SPOILERS!!)

first of all — i am so beyond devastated that he gets killed. and not just by anyone, he gets killed BY US. THE PLAYER. WE AS THE PLAYER DELIVER THE FINAL BLOW THAT ENDS HIS EXISTENCE. not only is that very upsetting (because come on, hot devil man, obviously i don't wanna kill him??) but it also makes me feel so.. awful. like, everything about this is wrong and i hate the fact that there is no other option.

because let's review the course of the story in the house of hope:

- we barge into his house unannounced, uninvited, while he is absent

- we invade his privacy by entering what's his own personal space (yes, i know he stole it from Hope in the first place but that is not the point here — whatever his devil business is, it's still HIS, you know?? like he is a devil, this is the kinda stuff they do and honestly? i didn't want to stick my nose into it. but obviously i did because tHe sToRy etc etc. but still, it was his own thing that basically doesn't affect the player in any way so TECHNICALLY you dont have to free Hope. you can, if your character's moral compass advises so, but it doesn't affect the main plot.)

- we then proceed to walk around his house freely, lie to his archivist in order to look at the stuff we're already planning to steal

- we meet his personal incubus whom then we have the chance to either use or kill (i fought Haarlep so that's the point of view i'm looking from at this here, in which case i also robbed their corpse) and we rob his safe. and his whole bedroom actually. we read his journals. we use his bath.

- then obviously we go and rob his entire archive which includes all of his most precious possessions

- upon stealing, we slaughter every single creature in his house, fighting our way through to get to Hope's prison

- we then kill the two spectators he has guarding her (they were probably super hard to obtain??) and we just. free his prisoner. because yeah, that is the right thing to do, IM NOT SAYING THAT'S WRONG, but let's say we skip morality for a second, let's just focus on the fact that we have no ulterior motives in freeing Hope. we just wanna mess with HIS business because why not since we're already ruining all of his plans.

- and then we have the audacity to try to leave before he comes back and act like we were never there while his entire house is turned to shit.

now let's look at this list again but this time keep in mind the fact that at that point, he hasn't done A SINGLE THING to us. like, he has never harmed us, he treated us with (let's call it) "respect" and politeness, he was fine with our hesitation towards his deal and was willing to give us time. he was never aggressive towards us, he was never "the enemy".

and now you can say - okay wtf is wrong with you, that man literally admitted his intention of conquering the worlds, enslaving all mortals and basically becoming the tyrant of all while also most likely stealing everyone's souls for his own pleasure.

yes, he did, and yes, that's bad. but just because those were his intentions does not give us the right to do all that shit to him AND THEN KILL HIM. AS IF WE HAD THE RIGHT TO SERVE JUSTICE HERE?? YEAH HIS PLANS ARE EVIL BUT IT IS NOT UP TO US TO DICTATE HIS CONSEQUENCES. HIS PLANS WOULD ONLY SUCCEED IF WE GAVE HIM THE CROWN IN THE END, SO JUST- DON'T?? LIKE DO YOU GET WHAT I MEAN. IM NOT TRYING TO JUSTIFY HIS ACTIONS OR INTENTIONS, BY ALL MEANS. i'm just trying to express how weird this all made me feel because not everyone decides to play as the selfless, lawfully good hero of all, protecting the world from all evil, ever! this is roleplay, afterall!

and them obviously he comes home. he is furious, as he should be. but mostly he's betrayed because, as weird as it may be, he trusted us. he admitted to growing "quite fond of us, in his own way". he thought we were some weird sort of.. acquaintances? friends maybe? (again, i know most of our relationship with him is mostly just him manipulating us but still, it's quite clear he wasn't expecting this betrayal) and we just barged in there and disrespected him in the worst way possible. so obviously he wants to kill us now and obviously we can kill him since he's just a boss in a game. and that's what we do. and then.. that's it. we're the good guys. we ruined a man's whole career because we needed one of his toys, murdered him in his own house and just left. and we're supposed to be the good guys.

i think the source of my problem is that Raphael is never introduced as evil. we don't meet him as the big bad villain that we know we'll have to kill at some point. i swear to god, at the beginning of act 3 i trusted that man way more than i trusted the Emperor and i was so close to agreeing to his deal just because i felt like i could trust him and he would keep me safe (for some reason, let's blame it on those wonderful eyes of his).

we meet him so early on in the game and he follows through all 3 acts, making it feel like he's gonna be some key character that will matter in the end - turns out, no! we were just supposed to rob and kill him. and that's literally it. talk about wasted potential.

when i first met him i got the "unofficial narrator" vibes from him, as if he was only supposed to seem intimidating and "evil" but you could sense there was so much more to him and i was dying to see how his story would unwrap. i was so ready for a redemption act, a plot twist, anything. man was i disappointed. because how cool would it be if he turned out to be a part of the "gather your allies" quest?? imagine having him as an ally and an ACTUAL friend in the end??

and don't even GET ME STARTED on what the orb in Helsik's shop shows you after you kill him. the fact that he's not even dead yet but ABOUT TO BE DEVOURED BY MEPHISTOPHELES. ABOUT TO BE DEVOURED. BY HIS FATHER. HE. WHAT. THATS THE ENDING HE GETS. and we are the ones that served it to him when he got RIGHTFULLY pissed at us for doing all that shit to him. and im supposed to just be fine with it?? i'm supposed to feel like this was the ending he deserved and i did the right thing??

god what i would give for a different way. idk. striking a new deal with him. saving him from Mephistopheles afterwards. REDEMPTION ARC?? ANYTHING?? NO? THATS IT THEN?

now i know that you dont HAVE to kill him, you can either agree to his deal or just ignore him and the house of hope altogether. but that just defeats the whole purpose of this character?? agreeing to his deal and giving him the crown at the end results in a pretty bad ending and ignoring him means that yeah, you don't have to kill him but you also don't get anything else from him anymore. like he has no other endings, just either death or his big evil plans. and for a game with so many choices and so much branching, it just feels almost weird that that's all he is there for. then why do we meet him in act 1? why does he follow through to act 2? (yeah, astarion, i know, but i cant help but feel like they could have put a completely different way to read his runes there if they didnt want Raphael specifically to help us) WHY ARE WE ALREADY SO USED TO HIM BY THE TIME HE PRESENTS HIS DEAL? if the whole hammer business is the only thing he's in the game for, then we may have as well been introduced to him only in act 3 during the whole Voss quest. but we knew him already and he felt like some sort of a.. friend lets call it? idk. this just does not make sense to me and makes me genuinely so sad.

as i'm writing this, it's the third day after ive completed the house of hope and i literally can not think about anything else. like my mind is just going on and on about this and i cant get over it!! im actually GRIEVING a fictional devil and i dont know what to do with all these.. thoughts.

so now i actually genuinely MISS THAT MF. I MISS HIM. GIVE HIM BACK. I WASN'T DONE AND NEITHER WAS HE. PLEASE PLEASE LARIAN I CAN FIX HIM—

okay i think thats it for now. idk i wrote this so chaotically i already forgot what i said and didnt say. im just. im feeling so many things. im so fucking sad and mad that this is how it ends. rest in peace hot devil man i will never forget you.