#anyways i remember this rubbing off the wrong way when i watched 8 years ago and rewatching it still does

[picturejasper20]

Looking back the ending of Gravity Falls while thinking about endings of other series like Amphibia and The Ghost and Molly Mcgee, Weirdmageddon has a message that is underwhelming when it comes to Dipper and Mabel's relationship and Mabel's potrayal in the show.

This isn't about Mabel getting tricked by Bill. She is a 12-13 years old that in that context she was feeling really bad and not thinking well what she was doing. That isn't relevant to the topic at hand and honestly it isn't a problem she did that, it does makes sense in the episode it happened.

What i have an issue is how the narrative makes Dipper feel bad about considering staying studying with Stanford. This is something that Dipper was interested in and he was very fascinated by anything that was paranormal related. Stanford himself told Dipper he had a lot of potential and the kid was digging into it.

Mabel lashing out and not liking the idea of Dipper staying with Stanford is understandable in the episode Dipper and Mabel vs. the Future. She doesn't seem to have much friends back in her home and her parents are implied to not be the best. She gets scared of Dipper leaving, that's a reasonable fear for a kid to have.

However, as i mentioned before, Dipper is made feel bad about considering choosing something he wants to do. It isn't Mabel who has to learn that things change and sometimes this brings things we don't like. She doesn't exactly consider what Dipper wants for himself, she mainly cares about how ¨she is going to be alone¨ and making her brother feel selfish for choosing his own path or do something that could make him happy.

Yes, she learns that things can't stay the same forever and they are growing up, that itself is a pretty good development for her and overall a good message to teach.

Yet her being codependent on Dipper doesn't get brought up nor addressed, in fact the series seems to praise this behavior of hers. In how Dipper has to do what she wants if not he is a bad brother. Mabel's clinginess and controlling behaviour to an extent isn't called out, which that itself is a problem.

Small edit: I want to add an extra point here that Mabel does have a short scene near the end of the episode that she tells Dipper that she won't get in his way if he wants to stay with Stanford and she was ¨acting nuts¨ in the dream bubble. This is good for her but it does still feel in part that her issues weren't fully acknowledged and it doesn't help she didn't say this until after Dipper told her that he was going to stay with her and not be with Stanford, which is rather questionable in my opinion. It would have been more appropiate in the episode to have this brought up and getting adressed better than for her to wait for Dipper to do what she wanted.

In contrast in Amphibia, Marcy Wu has a similar arc about change. The series explores how she can take her escapism too far and how she can be very selfish in plenty of ways, something that is potrayed as an aspect she has to learn from and realize that it isn't healthy.

Her being too codependent on Anne and Sasha and their overall friendship is potrayed as toxic and the series explores this relationship a lot, having the girls grow over time and think about different aspects they have to work on.

In ¨True Colors¨ it is revealed that Marcy Wu learned about the Calamity Box the same day she got told by her parents that they were moving away. Very afraid of having to leave her friends behind and having to be alone in a new city, she found the Calamity Box and told Sasha and Anne about it. Worth of mentioning she didn't know if it would work but it was a desperate act of her just to not having to move away from her friends yet.

When Sasha and Anne find out about this they are, not surprisingly, very pissed and push from Marcy away for a moment, making Marcy realize her mistake and eventually apologizes for what she did.

In ¨All In¨ Marcy finally comes to terms with how she can't force Anne and Sasha to be the way she wants them to be and that her codependency on them isn't a good thing. She realizes that has to move away to her new home at some point, that things change but that doesn't mean the three of them have to stop being friends.

As you can see, there is a clear difference between how Mabel Pines and Marcy Wu’s characters and flaws are potrayed in the narrative. While Gravity Falls makes Mabel’s codependency and controlling behaviour to be something acceptable and that Dipper should conform to, Amphibia does the complete opposite and presents Marcy Wu’s actions as flaws she has and that can hurt other people, including her friends. She is the one that has to make a change and understand she has to work on herself if she wants to have new friends and keep these relationships as times moves on.

Since we are on topic, one thing that really bothered me is how Mabel created a version of Dipper that is ¨cool¨ and says yes and goes along with everything she wants to do. (Weirdmageddon Part 2)

This has… interesting implications of how Mabel believes that relationships should work, or at least with her brother twin Dipper. A lot has to do with how she and Dipper have very different personalities and she maybe wishes that he was more like her, but expecting someone else to say ¨yes¨ to everything you want is a toxic mentality to have. And the episode itself doesn’t address this enough, it doesn’t bring up to Mabel she can’t expect people to work like this and she should try thinking more about what others wants.

Lets talk about The Ghost and Molly Mcgee. In this series Molly Mcgee often has episodes where she has to learn certain lessons. One of them she learns over time is that often she has to give up control and let what others want to do instead.

A good example of this is ¨Ready, Set, Snow!¨ in which she is constanly trying to make Libby and Scratch to go and play outside in the snow with her without considering they would rather stay inside and sit near the fire for the moment. She spends most of the episode trying to find ways to make them go outside until she gets angry and goes out on her own. She has… quite of a mental breakdown in a sequence song. Scratch goes to check on her but he tells to her that she can’t do always what she wants and what it is important is for her to be spending time with her friends. Molly realizes she was wrong, goes back to the house and she apologizes for how she acted.

Molly has quite a lot of episodes like this, and all this becomes important in the series finale ¨The End¨ when she sees that Scratch has to go back to be Todd even if that means forgetting the memories he got as a ghost, her included. She tells Scratch that she is going to miss him a lot but she knows that forcing Scratch to stay wouldn’t be right. She encourages Scratch to go and ¨live his life¨ because she cares about Scratch being happy.

Similar to Marcy Wu, Molly learns that she can’t force people to do what she wants and she has to let them choose for themselves. She knows that encouraging Scratch to do what he always wanted to do as human is the right thing to do, even if it means saying goodbye to him.

I do understand the idea that Gravity Falls was doing at with something among the lines of ¨Dipper and Mabel not repeating the same mistakes that their uncles did¨ but that doesn’t mean Dipper has to give up his dreams at expense of what Mabel wants. As Dipper said in VS The Future episode: he can still visit and they can still talk to each other. They don’t have to fall apart the same way Standford and Stan did. Just like in Amphibia, if Marcy still was able to remain friends with Anne and Sasha over the years, the same can be applied to Dipper and Mabel as siblings.

If not, it could be rewritten in a way that makes Dipper reconsider that he would like to wait a few years before joining Stanford in his adventures. That he is still a kid and wants to spend a while longer figuring himself out and be with Mabel before making a decision. That way it feels more like a decision he wants to do for himself and goes along with his character arc that he doesn’t have to rush to grow up.

As for Mabel, she has a lot of growing up to do. She has to learn overtime that Dipper is his own person and he can take is own path. That if she wants to have friends or have in general healthy relationships with others, she can’t make it always about herself and people have their own needs as well. She would have to work on her codependency and clinginess she has on others, specially her own brother. This would help her with being a more mature capable individual when she grows up.

This post on itself isn’t me hating on Mabel’s character since she has moments she can be good and i feel a lot of her behaviour comes from not being taught properly and being a teenager. The problem is that the series doesn’t address this behaviour enough and, as result, it comes off as the series giving an unintentional underwhelming message of potraying Mabel’s issues as something that should be acceptable and not her having a dynamic with Dipper that comes off as toxic. It is important to understand to learn to support others and not always make things about ourselves. That sometimes relationships change and we can’t force people to be in a specific way.

[hhighkey]

Just out of curiosity how would you rank the phantom troupe members from your favorite to least favorite? (Love your writings by the way!!)

THANK U!!! means so much,, omg obsessed i’ve always wanted to be asked my fave for something LOL

okay so this’ll have more than the member amount bc i’ll rank past and present that i can remember ope -

1. feitan <3 as someone who fell in love with levi when aot anime first came out, there i was 9 ish or so years later (about two years ago) watching hxh for the first time falling IN LOVE with feitan only to find out levi’s character was based off him so how ironic

2. phinks

3. pakunoda

4. shalnark — i only watch the anime so like… MANGA SPOILER- his death lowkey like traumatizing

5. shizuku

6. nobunaga

7. uvogin

8. kortopi

9. chrollo - idk rly don’t like him

10. machi - idk she always rubbed me the wrong way esp with how she is w hisoka

11. illumi

12. kalluto

13. bonolenov

14. franklin - sry his ears scare me

not counted but he’d be at the bottom anyways — hisoka

[kohanayaki]

.:Time and Time Again:. (Marauders Era x Reader) Ch 5

Harry confronts you with a familiar piece of suspiciously folded parchment, and you tell him the story of how you helped create it (mostly told through flashbacks taking place in the Marauders era).

LINKS:   CH 1   CH 2    CH 3   CH 4   CH 5   CH 6   CH 7   CH 8

___________________________________________________________

Ch 5 .:Narrow Spaces and New Alliances:. 

Your eyes drifted open slowly, the bright streams of sunlight coming in through your window strangely unbecoming of 12 Grimmauld Place. It took you a moment to get your bearings as you rubbed the sleep out of your eyes and remembered where you were. As you sat there, looking around Sirius' guest bedroom, last night's events all seemed to flood back to you at once. You groaned into the comforter, feeling your face burn as you recalled blatantly staring at his lips just minutes after crying into his shirt for at least half an hour.

Come on, get it together, you thought to yourself, you're here because Dumbledore summoned you, stay on task.

However, as soon as that memory left your head another replaced it, this one weighing heavier on your chest. You found yourself thinking back to your encounter with Severus. Well, as much as you could call it an 'encounter.' Even when you couldn't see him, you could feel him when you reached out to him with your mind. Severus was good at blocking legillemency— too good, in fact, because you would know the familiar force of his mental shield anywhere. You'd never felt it as powerful coming from anyone else. You almost laughed at the irony of it; the very thing he was trying to use to keep hidden was exactly what had given him away. That, and the smell of him, which took you back to the moment you'd first smelled that damn amortentia potion. . .

You tried to shake off the thought as you properly got out of bed and changed into some casual clothes. The next Order meeting wasn't until tomorrow afternoon, so you had the day mostly to yourself, but you knew the next time you were all in a room together you would have to address some things privately if you had any hope of working together efficiently. You gently padded down the wooden stairs, the door to Sirius' room still closed. He never was an early riser.

As you reached the kitchen you began to put a pot of coffee on when you heard someone approach the room, stalling in the kitchen entrance. You turned around to see Harry in the doorway.

“Morning,” you grinned, turning back to the counter and using your wand to bring some water to a boil, “Coffee? Tea?”

“Oh,” Harry said, a bit embarrassed you'd caught him in mid-thought, “no, I'm okay.”

“What's on your mind?” you asked.

“Um, I was wondering if you could tell me, I mean, if you have the time. . .” he trailed off, reaching for his back pocket, “well, the thing is, a few years ago I found—”

“Kreacher heard sounds coming from the kitchen and did not expect (Y/n)'s return,” Harry jumped at the house elf's sudden arrival, but you seemed unphased.  

“Though master's half mudblood godson remains here,” the elf muttered to himself, “How many more days must it be?”

“Hello, Kreacher,” you greeted him, “nothing nasty about Harry, now, alright? Don't forget he's my godson too.”

“Of course,” Kreacher said, thickly sarcastic but with respect for you in his tone nonetheless. His permanent frown seemed to deepen, however, when he saw you next to the coffee maker. “(Y/n) of house (L/n) should not have to be using the kitchen. Mistress Black would have wept to see a pureblood use muggle equipment. If (Y/n) requires refreshment Kreacher will have it ready.”

“There's no need for that,” you said, “Besides, it's done already, see? You can go on now.”

Kreacher squinted at the cup you poured for yourself. “Always peculiar,” he grumbled, stalking away at your request and muttering to himself all the while.

“He's oddly. . . nice to you,” Harry said, green eyes quizzical behind his round-framed glasses.

“He is,” you chuckled.

“But, well, you're—”

“A blood traitor?” you gave him an easy smile when you saw his expression, easing his fears that he'd actually offended you. “I know,” you said, “he's been through a lot, it's complicated. Trust me, he wasn't always like this to me. It takes time. And it doesn't hurt to be nice to him either.”

Harry decided against bringing up that the nicest person that he knew to the house elf was Hermione, who Kreacher regularly called a 'mudblood wench,' but decided to focus on the 'taking time' part of your statement, wondering  just how long this kind of progress took with the spiteful elf. Besides, you seemed to have some sort of history with him.

“Anyways, what was it you were saying?” you asked Harry.

“Oh, right,” he said, reaching back around him, “um, my friends Fred and George, you've met them?”

“Molly and Arthur's twins, of course,” you smiled, “little imps, they are. Those two could give your father and Sirius a run for their money.”

“Right!” Harry said, “well, that's sort of the point. They're the ones who gave me this.”

As you turned around to face him you stalled mid-stir, nearly dropping your mug as you did. Even as a piece of blank parchment you knew what it was, the distinctive accordion folds that met in the center giving it away.

“How in the world. . .” you trailed off as Harry handed it to you, “but Filch—”

“Didn't do a very good job of hiding it, apparently,” Harry finished, “I thought you might want to do the honors?”

You nodded wordlessly, a pang of unexpected emotion hitting you as you pressed your wand to the map's center.

“I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.”

The faded, brown ink showed itself as its protection charm was washed away, revealing the nostalgia-inducing inscription scrawled in your respective handwritings:

Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, Prongs, and Fangs are proud to present: The Marauders Map

“Do Remus and Sirius know you have this?” you asked Harry, who nodded.

“Professor Lupin gave it back to me third year before he left Hogwarts,” he said, “but he never told me anything about it after that.” he seemed deep in thought for a moment before looking up at you. “If everyone else is who I think it is, you're Fangs, right?”

It was your turn to nod now.

“I always wondered, how did you do it?” Harry said, hardly containing his curiosity, and you couldn't help but think how much he looked like James in that moment. “How does it work? What sort of magic did you use? All the secret passageways, how did you find them?”

“Alright, slow down,” you laughed lightly, giving in, “I suppose there's no harm in telling you.”

Harry brightened at that, bounding into the living room and taking a seat on the couch as if to say 'we've got all day,' which you did. It warmed your heart to see him so excited, this was one of the only ways he could get to know his parents— through the stories that remained from the people who loved them. If you could help the picture of his family in his mind become a bit clearer, you would tell him any story he wanted to know. He deserved that much after everything he'd been through.

You took a seat opposite him, still nursing your cup of coffee.

“Well,” you said, “it's a long story, starting with how bad those lot were at keeping secrets. . .”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   1974   ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Run!” James half shouted half laughed as Filch hobbled after the four of them. Sirius nearly bit his tongue trying to keep in his laughter as the Caretaker slung insults and promises of punishment their way, cat ears and a tail freshly sprouted from his body.

“I can't believe we actually did that,” Sirius cackled, keeping easy pace with James.

“I can't believe you dragged me into this,” Remus panted, his current body not lending itself well to physical activity. For once he actually wished he was a werewolf right about now.

“I don't know if I can keep up,” Peter wheezed, falling behind.

“Oh come on,” James said, grabbing his sleeve and helping him run, “we can out run a gummy-legged old prat like him.”

“I don't know, he's faster than he looks,” Remus pointed out as Filch rounded the corner behind them.

“Damn,” James cursed under his breath, “we'll lose him if we can make it to the one-eyed-witch passageway.”

“We'll never activate it in time,” Remus countered.

“The hallway behind the third floor tapestry?” Peter suggested.

“No, Filch knows about that one now,” Sirius said.

“Why the hell didn't you bring your cloak?” Remus huffed.

“Well getting caught wasn't supposed to be part of the plan, but someone had to let out a laugh before we could get out!”

“Just save your air and sprint!” Sirius hissed.

The extended run time was starting to catch up to all of them now, and when they'd made a wrong turn to a blocked off corridor they thought they were done for.

“Hey, morons, over here!”

Four heads snapped towards the sound of your whisper, but you were nowhere to be found. Suddenly, one of the light pillars began to shift, revealing a large crack in the wall just big enough for them to fit sideways.

No questions were asked with no time to waste, and the four boys clamored after one another so they could fit inside. Your magic moved the pillar back in place just in time, and you watched from your hiding spot as Filch reached the walled-off passage in surprise, grumbling as he looked around for the culprits behind you. You had to stifle a snicker as his cat ears lowered; was that growling coming from the back of this throat or did you imagine that? Eventually he stumbled off in frustration and you sighed.

“Alright, the coast is clear,” you said.

“Why did you help us?” James rose a brow, that signature shit-eating grin back on his face like it never left, “you haven't fallen in love with me since our truce, have you?”

“Dream on, Potter,” you rolled your eyes, pushing him out of the crevice and smirking as he tumbled to the floor.

“It seems like I'm always saving you nowadays,” you said, stepping out of the wall yourself with the rest of the boys following.

Remus was thoroughly confused, looking pointedly between you and Sirius. He knew you and James were pretty much friends now, but he also noticed that the hostile air that always seemed to be present with you and the elder Black had diminished. He'd even seen you two talking in the halls lately. Sirius gave him a look; he would explain what happened in the forest with Lucius to Remus later. Mostly he didn't want to admit that Remus was right about you not being so bad if he gave you a chance; you had actually been getting on pretty well since that night.

“You do realize it's no fun winning the house cup when you four practically make Gryffindor ineligible every year with all the shit you get up to, right?” you chuckled, “some competition would be nice for a change.”

“We'll see if you're singing the same tune when Quidditch season rolls around,” James said smugly.

“You're right,” you said, squaring up against him, “guess that's a new competition we've got going for us.”

It had recently been announced that you and James had both been selected to play Seeker for your respective houses next year. It was an arrangement that had the whole school talking, your rivalry turned (mostly) friendship now infamous, even if it was a recent occurrence.

“Hold on, how did you know that was there?” Peter asked you, pointing to the moving column, “even we didn't know about it.”

“Oh?” you crossed your arms, “and are you four supposedly some kind of all-knowing secret masters? Because clearly there's things you don't know about yet.”

Sirius slapped a hand over Peter's mouth before he could retaliate and give away what they've been working on.

“Yes, well, apparently,” he said, ignoring Peter's muffled protests.

You looked at them curiously, all four boys looking suspiciously nervous.

The next day at breakfast, James had brought up the idea of 'hiring' you to help them finish the map.

“I'm telling you, I think we can really make progress with their help,” he pitched, “they clearly know what they're talking about, and we know they can pull a hell of a prank from all the times they've gotten me.”

“How do we know they won't tell anyone?” Peter countered, “I don't know what's up with you, but you're trusting them too fast, James.”

“They're not the type that would tell,” Remus admitted.

“Oh, not you too!” Peter whined.

“I'm just saying, they'll likely appreciate what we've gathered so far and have a fair bit to add,” Lupin insisted, “it could be worth a try if you really want to finish it before we graduate—”

“Finish what?”

The four boys jolted upright, turning to see you and Lily.

“Are you guys okay?” Lily asked, concern written across her features.

“Of course!”

“Never better!”

“Why wouldn't we be?”

Remus just groaned at his friends' panicked answers. This was hopeless.

You and Lily shared a knowing look off the the side.

“Alright, whatever you say. . .”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Harry laughed heartily,

“Wow, I mean, I know you said they were bad, but that bad?”

“For being expert pranksters who hardly ever managed to get caught, they were remarkably terrible at hiding things,” you said, chuckling along with him, “It didn't take us long to figure out they were up to something, although they seemed to think they were brilliant at covering it up, Remus had to burst their bubble eventually.”

Harry shook his head, smiling fondly and imagining all the scenes in his head as you continued your tale.

“So that was when they were first starting to put the map together,” you continued, “but that wasn't even the biggest secret they were hiding. Of course, I wouldn't find out about that for another year, but we'll get to that part of the story later. . .”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   1975   ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“This tastes awful,” Sirius complained, trying to ignore the plant prodding the under-side of his tongue.

“Well if you were expecting treacle toffee I'm sorry to disappoint,” James rolled his eyes, equally nauseated by the bitter tinge of the Mandrake leaf in his mouth.

“There's no way someone can do this for an entire month,” Peter said, “How do you brush your teeth? What if you accidentally swallow it when you're eating?”

“You three have fun with that,” Remus chuckled, flipping through an old library book and his mouth gratefully leafless.

“How about some gratitude, Moony?” James said, “We're doing this for you.”

“Please, you just want to see if you can turn into a dragon or something,” Lupin chortled, “and you don't actually have to go through with all this. Who knows if this animagus stuff will actually work.”

“Well, a dragon would suit me,” James mused, “but of course we're going to see this through, mate. You know we'd do anything for you.”

Remus smiled to himself, not responding and not needing to. He knew.

“Hey guys,” you grinned, walking up to the Gryffindor table.

Peter gulped suddenly in surprise as you came up behind him, and his eyes widened in horror.

“Shit!” he coughed out, “I-I swallowed it!”

“Your. . . food?” you questioned, glancing over at the boys who all had that same, vaguely panicked look about them.

“Okay, it was funny at first, but you guys have been acting weird since last year and now it's worrying,” you admitted.

The four looked between themselves and came to a sort of silent conclusion. Maybe in this scenario it was better to tell one secret to keep the other. And so, later that night, they told you to meet them after lights out so they could tell you what was really going on. You snuck out of your dorm room and made your way through the secret tunnel to the Gryffindor common room, a route you'd taken plenty of times to mess with James.

You pushed a loose panel of wood open, coming into the warmly lit space through one of the cabinets. You pushed an armchair that was half blocking your path out of the way as you crawled through the space.

“Blimey!” Sirius jumped, “give us a heads up, would you?”

“Sush,” Remus scolded him, “you really don't understand the concept of an inside voice, do you?”

“Alright, well I'm here,” you said, brushing off your robes, “now what's this big secret? This better not be a trick because I've been working on a new hex.”

“Nothing like that,” James assured you, “we've been working on something we think you might be interested in, if you're willing to contribute.”

He stepped to the side so you could see the floor where they'd been huddled around and your eyes widened.

“Merlin,” you said. The red and gold carpet was covered in at least forty different pieces of parchment. Pages upon pages overlapped with each other, each messily detailing a different part and level of the castle in scribbles of smudged ink. “This is. . .”

“The entirety of the Hogwarts castle and surrounding land,” Sirius said proudly, “complete with secret passageways.”

“This is our lives' work, (Y/n),” James said, “be impressed!”

“What impresses me most is how none of you have any sense of scale,” you said, sifting through the papers, “you should really condense this. Kind of hard to make any use of a map if you have to flip to page thirty-three to find the kitchens.”

“Point taken,” Remus said, “it could do with some reorganization.”

“And probably a bigger piece of paper,” you mentioned.

“Right, that. . .”

“That's not all there is to it, though,” Peter said, “Sirius?”

The curly haired boy stepped forward, pressing his wand to the center of the floor.

“Revelare Popularis,”

You watched in wonder as hundreds of names suddenly appeared across the pieces of paper, all students and faculty you recognized. They were scrawled in Sirius' handwriting, as if he'd written them himself.

“This spell shows where everyone in any location on this map is at this very moment,” he said, “It's not exact, and we've been working on variations.”

“So you can plan ahead without getting caught,” you mused, “how'd you learn something as advanced as this, Black?”

“I get around,” Sirius shrugged, unabashedly showing off. Peter rolled his eyes.

“So, the only drawback, of course, is that the spell doesn't work in real time,” Remus said, “so by the time you get where you need to go. . .”

“People will have moved,” James finished, “we're willing to share this little trove of knowledge with you if you're willing to give up all the secret rooms, passages, and hiding places you know.”

“And we thought you may have a solution to our timing problem,” Remus said, “I could tell from our study sessions you quite enjoy learning ahead of your year.”

Your eyes scanned the pages, and you were admittedly impressed. There was ton of stuff on here you had no idea about, but you knew a fair amount was missing as well. It seemed like a fair trade.

“I'm in,” you said.

“What?” Peter blinked, “it was that easy?”

“This is a useful tool you've got,” you said, “I think we can all benefit from it being improved. And now that you mention it, I actually do think I've read about a similar spell to that paper charm. It was in some Gaelic tome in the restricted section on ancient magic. I'm not even sure it used a wand. It was called the Homunculus charm. From what I read it sounded like it acted as a live feed for people in any given location, clan leaders used it to plan ambushes and keep track of citizens. If we could link it to the entire castle. . .”

“We'd be able to see where everyone is—”

“And what they're doing—”

“—At every hour of every day!”

“True, albeit a bit stalkerish,” you quipped, “you let me in on this if I add in what I know, and you got yourself a deal.”

James put out his hand, and as tempted as you were to turn it green or make all the bones in it disappear, you reached out and shook it.

“I do believe this puts us in a formal alliance, Potter,” you said cheekily.

“I believe so,” James smirked.

“Terrifying,” Remus chuckled, “This school won't even know what hit it.”

“Well, what are we waiting for?” James said with a cheshire grin, “let's steal ourselves a book, shall we?”

Read chapter 6 here!

Taglist:  @sleep-i-ness, @blackpinkdolan, @parker-natasha, @ornella0910 @undertaker1827 @thatwierdo-koemi @nxstalgicnxbxdy @calaryssia @aleksanderwh0r3 @mialupin1

[oldguardhc]

Headcanon that joe and Nicky have all (and I do mean *all*) of their old wedding rings. Whenever a bad death occurs or a war or if they just feel like it they retire the rings to their malta house so that they can look back on them later and remember the times they had. Joe always keeps two of their collective rings on his person- one for him, one to quickly slip on Nicky’s finger should they need or want to suddenly be married. In almost a thousand years they have lost exactly 8 of them

Old Guard hc #124

Nicky can’t stop staring at Joe’s hands. More specifically, Nicky can’t stop staring at Joe’s bare fingers. It’s not like Joe never takes his rings off. He always takes them off before a mission because they get in the way of his leather gloves; hell, he had them off a week ago, when they were in Sudan and only slipped them back on after they arrived in Goussainville. So Nicky’s not a stranger to Joe’s bare fingers; yet, he can’t stop staring at them. 

They’re bare and wrong and it’s driving Nicky insane. 

The obvious solution would be to bring the last two rings out of retirement. They’ve only been in the safe for a of couple days and nobody but them would even know, much less care. But every time Nicky thinks about grabbing the two rings, he sees flashes of Joe strapped to the gurney as Kozak takes sample after sample, tastes the cold sterility of the lab, smells the biting alcohol Kozak bathed them in. 

Nicky shakes his head. They retired those rings for a reason.  

He just needs to suck his feelings up for several more days until they get the green light from Copley and then they can go down to a jewelry store. They’ll get some new rings and they can immediately start creating happy memories to look back upon when the rings are inevitably retired. Just a couple more days. 

He can do this!

He cannot do this. 

He tries. Even though his husband is very beautiful—the most beautiful man in the world, in Nicky’s humble opinion—Nicky can’t keep his eyes on Joe’s face. They always start on Joe’s face; but Joe has picked up this awful habit of speaking with his hands and how can Nicky not notice the missing rings? Joe is literally waving the fact right in Nicky’s face! 

“Alright, we’re going to the jewelry store; Copley be damned,” Joe says, pushing himself away from the table to stand up. He holds out a hand and when Nicky stares at it for a second too long, he receives a very forceful flick to the forehead. “Stop doing that!” Joe says over Nicky’s startled “Ow!” 

Nicky angrily rubs his forehead and glares up at his husband. “I can’t help it! You keep waving your bare hands in my face!” Nicky grumbles, but he does stand up and follow Joe to the door. 

Four days. That’s how long he’s had to put up with Joe’s bare fingers. He should be a saint with how well he’s handled this situation. He grabs the car keys off the hook and opens the door. 

“I have not!” Joe argues, snatching the car keys out of Nicky’s hands and walking out of the house. 

Nicky sniffs. He didn’t want to drive anyways! “Have too!” Nicky says in a slightly louder voice, slamming the door shut. He does not stomp to the car; he is a grown man with legs that are having trouble waking up. 

“Have—no. Nope. We’re not doing this.” Joe snaps and points to the car. “Get in the car, listen to some Britney Spears and don’t look at my fingers. I said don’t look at them!” 

Nicky tears his eyes away from Joe’s bare finger and glares at his husband. What was he? A dog? He curls his hands into paws and in the flattest tone he can muster, says, “Woof.” 

It’s totally worth the unimpressed look Joe shoots him over the car’s hood. 

They listen to Toxic for the entire 15 minute ride. They’re still humming the chorus when they enter the jewelers and they only stop because it’s dead silent inside the store. It’s like a vacuum in there. 

And Booker call us socially unaware, Nicky thinks, matching the owner’s smile. He doesn’t think he succeeds from the way the owner’s eyes flicker between him and Joe. 

“Any particular style you two are looking for?” the owner asks.

“Simple platinum bands,” Joe answers, squeezing Nicky’s hand. It’s infuriating that the only thing Nicky can focus on, is the lack of metal pressing into his skin. 

The owner motions them to a display case and begins to point out some of the rings that match their criteria. 

None of them are right. 

They’re too shiny. Too thin. They have gold. 

Joe taps Nicky and points to a band that has a ring of diamonds embedded in the middle. It looks like it belongs on the hand of a gambler. “Right hand?” And on the hand of the most beautiful man in the world. 

Nicky makes a noise he hopes sounds like agreement. Diamonds are interesting, considering—“You don’t like diamonds.” 

Joe shrugs. “Maybe I don’t know people as well as I thought.” Nicky stares at Joe—who keeps his eyes firmly on the display case—and they need to talk. Not here and not now, obviously. But they need to talk about the giant French-shaped hole that’s only going to get bigger in the next century if left unattended. 

The owner clears their throat and pulls out the ring Joe’s been looking at for awhile now. “We can add engravings to all of our rings.”

Joe takes the ring with a small smile, “Thank you, but we’ll most likely add engravings at a later date.” Nicky watches as he slowly spins the ring in a circle before sliding it to the second knuckle of his right ring-finger. “Not bad,” Joe says, tilting his hand side-to-side. 

It’s…different. Nicky’s not used to having this much light glint off that finger, but it’s not bad. Might even be good. He can probably get used to it. 

Joe smiles upon seeing the approval on Nicky’s face and slides the ring off. “We’ll take this in a size 10.” 

Nicky chooses a much more sensible ring. It’s a relatively thick band with a hammered texture around the middle to match Joe’s. It looks good on Nicky’s left ring-finger and even better on Joe’s left index-finger. 

“And this one in a size 12,” Joe tells the owner, holding Nicky’s ring. Joe shakes his head at Nicky, “12. You’ve got fat fingers.” 

Fat? 

Nicky squawks and pokes his husband in the side. “They’re not fat! You just have feminine fingers!” 

“Feminine? These are the hands of an artist!” Joe exclaims, holding both of his hands up. There he goes again, waving his bare hands like a madman. 

Nicky slaps them away before he can get distracted and nods, all faux-sincerity. “If you say so, habibi.” 

“You two are going to last,” the owner interrupts with a laugh, contradicting their earlier impression and sets both rings down in front of them. Nicky trades a look with Joe. They have no idea. “See! You’re already wordlessly communicating!” 

“We’ve had…practice,” Nicky says. The smile they both share only leaves the poor owner confused. That’s alright though, the rings more than make up for it. 

—

Nicky can’t stop staring at Joe’s hands. More specifically, Nicky can’t stop staring at Joe’s ringed fingers. Every time he looks at them, he hears Britney Spears’ Toxic, sees the small rainbow on Joe’s skin as he held his hands up to the afternoon sun, feels the cold press of metal on both sides of his face as Joe kissed him outside the jewelers. 

It’s warm and full of love and so goddamn perfect. 

[the-insomniac-emporium]

Serenade (Daniela Dimitrescu/Reader) Pt. 9

Fandom: Resident Evil: Village Rating: T for language + mentions of sensitive topics Warnings: Referenced past abuse. Does not go into detail. Notes: Longest Serenade chapter yet at 4k+ words! Bit of angst, majority is fluffy fluffer fluff though. Next chapter is maximum h*rny, with two versions depending on reader, uh, equipment. EDIT: Forgot to put title, like dumbass. Past Chapters: Pt. 1: Nocturne, Pt. 2: Overture, Pt. 3: Accelerando, Pt. 4: Toccata, Pt. 5: Poco a Poco, Pt. 6: Elegy, Pt. 7: Harmony, Pt. 8: Obbligato

Chapter 9: Berceuse

(Berceuse: A lullaby. Generally slow and undulating.)

One moment you’re playing the piano, lovingly demonstrating a song you’d like Daniela to learn, the next you’re blue screening as she places a teasing kiss to your neck. It takes all of your willpower to keep playing, improvising a way to end the song right then and there. Then you’re turning to Daniela, eyes wide, blushing hard. She’s giggling. When she regains her composure, you give her a confused expression.

“I’m pretty sure this is the first time you’ve made real eye contact with me all morning. What gives?” She asked, frowning slightly. Awkwardly rubbing the back of your neck, you avoid her gaze, doing little else than proving her point. This frustrates her, and she lets out an aggravated sigh. I should probably tell her what happened, you think, dreading the idea. Still, the two of you had been making an effort to communicate better. What kind of partner would you be if you didn’t tell her about her mother’s intervention?

“Okay, okay… I wasn’t sure how to bring this up, but if I’m being this obvious about it anyway…” You started, trailing off anxiously. In response, Daniela places one of her hands over yours, giving you a reassuring squeeze. Though your face somehow gets even redder, the action gives you the courage required to continue. “I had another progress update meeting with your mother yesterday. I was worried, since this was the first one where you weren’t present, but I didn’t- I mean, er… Fuck it, she knows you’re interested in me. Doesn’t think we’re already together, thank God, but she told me, and I quote, that my response should be ‘swift and uninterested’. What are-” before you can finish you’re cut off by a loud groan, followed by your girlfriend cradling her head in her hands. Yeah, you think, this is about what I expected.

“Of course she did! I can’t have anything nice,” Daniela snapped, having gone from ten to sixty real quick. You’re just glad that she wasn’t taking it out on the piano. “How would she even know about us? I only stare at you when she’s not looking!” Oh? Since when did she stare at you? Certainly if Lady Dimitrescu had noticed, you would have as well?... Then again, the few times where all three of you were in the same room usually involved you working while they chatted or ate together. Still, the idea of Daniela making heart eyes at you from across the room was enough to make you blush again. “Look, she’s probably making some assumptions. There’s no way she knows as much as she thinks she does, at least not about us. So let’s just be careful- ugh, I sound like Bela- and otherwise keep doing what we do. Alright, songbird?”

“If you’re sure, then so am I. Let’s try to focus on our lesson for now, though,” you replied, doing your best to sound confident. Hoping to add in a little reassurance, you give Daniela a quick peck on the cheek. Unsurprisingly she ‘dodges’, instead kissing you on the lips, but you hardly mind at all. When she pulls back she’s got a huge grin on her face.

“Lesson now, fun later, got it. Speaking of later… You and me, inside the library, right after lunch. I’ll tell mother we’re going over theory and key recognition, but really-” she leans in close, mouth barely an inch from your ear “it’s a date. Don’t worry about getting caught, I’ve already made sure that neither Bela nor Cassandra will interrupt.” Your heart skipped a few beats at her suggestion, and you had to admit… you were beyond excited for this. When was the last time you had gone on an actual date? Years ago, just a month before you left your hometown and moved to the village. That had been a date you’d spend the rest of your life regretting… then again, it was what made you leave in the first place. And if you hadn’t left, you’d have never met Daniela.

Maybe it hadn’t been that bad after all.

————————————

Four minutes past one in the morning, you shuffled nervously towards the library, with note cards in hand. Even if you weren’t really going to help Daniela study, you wanted to be prepared in case you bumped into anyone along the way. After all, this was the night shift, when most of the servants were up and about, accomplishing any tasks deemed ‘too noisy’ to be done while the manor occupants slept. Thankfully, the fact that lunch had just finished meant a fair amount of workers would be busy cleaning up the dining hall. In the end, you only passed one other servant, but it was the only one you hadn’t felt confident about running into: Daphne.

Despite your long-standing friendship (having known each other in the village, and being brought to the castle within the same week), you had yet to tell her about your relationship with Daniela. Which by itself wouldn’t have been too bad, if not for the fact that she could tell you were hiding something from her. This had, understandably, put a damper on your friendship. From her perspective, there was nothing you shouldn’t be able to tell her. Even you weren’t sure if you should be more honest, all things considered. There was no way she’d ever tell someone else about your situation. But if one day you got in trouble for lying to Lady Dimitrescu… and somehow someone figured out that Daphne knew too, well, she’d be just as fucked as you, if not more so. After all, there was a chance that Daniela’s affection for you would lead to a lighter punishment. Not that being exiled into the forest was much better than being flat out killed.

So when you saw Daphne heading towards you, you tried to get by with a simple smile and a brief wave.

“Aren’t you even going to say hi?” Daphne asked, tone stiff but filled with disappointment. It catches you off guard, to the point where you drop your note cards. Immediately you’re squatting down, gathering them up, taking the excuse not to look at your friend. She doesn’t move to assist, instead pausing in the hallway to watch you. “We were supposed to stick together, you know? But it’s like becoming Lady Daniela’s little plaything made you think you’re better than the rest of us. Better than me.” That last part was barely more than a whisper, and you freeze in place, hand still hovering over one of the cards. “I shouldn’t have said anything, it doesn’t matter. Just try not to get yourself killed, alright? I don’t want to be the one to clean up your corpse.”

“Daphne, wait, please!” You said, finally moving to your feet, blocking your friend’s path. When she looks at you, you can just barely make out tears in the corners of her soft blue eyes. “I’m sorry, really. I… I can’t tell you what’s going on because I can’t risk getting you in trouble. You’re my best friend, Daph, and I don’t want anything happening to you just because I was doing something reckless.”

“Do you really think I don’t know what’s going on between the two of you?” Daphne questioned, with a bitter laugh. She’s shaking her head in disbelief, even as you stare at her, shell shocked. “Maybe the others haven’t caught on yet, but I’ve seen the way she looks at you, and I’m not oblivious to the way you talk about her. I figured you’d tell me eventually… It’s been weeks, though. More than that, I mean seriously, don’t you think I’d go down for you in a heartbeat? There was a time where I was sure the two of us would do anything for each other, ride or die when the dying part was a guaranteed end to all of this. Something tells me that’s not the case anymore.” Now she refuses to meet your gaze, instead staring down at what few note cards still lay on the floor.

“That’s still the case, I promise. It’s hard enough to look past what our employers do to strangers. If they hurt you? I’d never dream of forgetting, let alone forgiving them,” you explained. It’s enough to make her look back up, but she’s far from smiling.

“If that’s the case, maybe I’m looking at the wrong signals. But I’ve got to go, and I assume you do too. Take care,” she said, before slipping past you as quickly as she can. Then you’re left to gather the last of your note cards, mind whirling. Cruel as the thought may be, you hoped that this wouldn’t ruin the mood for your date. The best your mind could do to cope was focus on one thing at a time…

————————————

“Are you sure this is safe? I can’t even remember how many times I’ve been told to keep this door shut, under the threat of, you know, losing my life,” you called out, hanging out in the doorway. Beyond you by a few meters was Daniela, who twirled about with laughter, reaching out to catch a few falling leaves. This was the entrance to the garden, as far as you could tell. Not to be confused with the vineyard, which was larger, as well as on a completely different side of the estate. You had never been to either, seeing as only a select few servants were allowed to leave the manor. If Daniela hadn’t made it seem like you’d be staying in the library, well, you probably would have protested a little, regardless of how badly you wanted to go on a real date. Even when you had met up with her, she hadn’t told you any details, just laughing and asking you to follow her.

“Don’t be a baby! We’re still a few weeks away from autumn, and besides, you’re here with me! What could possibly go wrong?” Daniela asked, sending you a cheeky grin before dashing off into the garden proper. For a moment you’re left on the threshold, a picnic basket in your arms, wondering what the season had to do with your safety. Then you sigh, figuring that it couldn’t be that bad. Hadn’t your girlfriend mentioned this to Bela, anyway? Certainly the responsible older sister would have stepped in if something genuinely dangerous had been suggested? Well, you hoped as much, at least. With that in mind you close the door behind you, then dashed towards where Daniela had gone. Even as you round the corner, you don’t see her, and suddenly you’re nervous as hell. Before you can call out to her, the sound of rustling leaves catches your attention. Suddenly something jumps out at you! “Rah! Gotcha, babe!”

Ah, of course it was your girlfriend, clearly pulling a leaf from Cassandra’s book. You playfully smack her arm in response, trying to ignore the way your heart pounded. Humorous intentions aside, she had legitimately scared you, and you had nearly dropped your basket in response. Before you can say as much, Daniela’s hooking her arm in yours so she can pull you further into the gardens.

“You’re lucky you’re so fucking cute, firefly,” you muttered, a tad grumpy now. Most of your irritation was false, however, intended to tease your girlfriend. For a moment she doesn’t seem to realize that, and she stops in place. Once her eyes meet yours she understands what’s going on. Then she’s grinning, sticking her tongue out at you, and continuing down the path. Soon enough you’re approaching a paved brick circle. All around it, minus where it meets the walkway, are various flowers in bloom. Past the flowers are bushes, and past those are trees, whose branches provide a canopy for the circle. “Wow… and I thought you were pretty,” you teased, admiring the view.

As soon as the words leave your mouth, Daniela lets out an offended scoff, before taking the basket from you. Wordlessly she opens it up to grab the blankets within, spreading them without sparing you a glance. Now it’s your turn to wonder whether or not her anger is just a joke. Hoping so, you help her smooth out the blankets, making sure the two of you have ample space to spread out. At one point both of you reach for the basket at the same time, and she just grabs your hand instead, squeezing it. Next thing you know she’s pulling you down onto the blankets, rolling on top of you.

“Come here often?” She asked. Then, unsurprisingly, the two of you kiss. Both of your arms wrap around her waist, holding her as close as you can. One of her hands cups your cheek, the other resting on the ground to support herself, for ‘optimal makeout angles’. It’s a minute of bliss before she has to pull back for air. Instead of pulling away entirely, she shifts down a notch, resting her head against your chest. “Mmm… so comfortable. I could just… fall… asleep…” Daniela murmured, pretending to be sleepy. You can’t help but laugh, chest obviously shaking in as you do. “No! Pillows aren’t supposed to vibrate.”

“Are you sure about that?” You asked, only laughing harder.

“They don’t talk, either,” Daniela replied, huffing as she does. When you keep laughing, she rises to a sitting position, much to your disappointment. “So you have chosen death? So be it. I’ll just eat these candies myself, then.” With that said, she digs into the picnic basket, retrieving a bag of chocolates. Pouting, you reach out to try and yoink one away from her. Rather deftly, she pulls them away, sticking her tongue out at you before tossing a couple in her mouth. Determined, you surge forward, trying to catch her off guard, only to (somehow) end up face down in her lap. “Exactly like I planned, songbird. Now get comfy, alright?”

One of her hands trails fingers through your hair as you semi-awkwardly roll over. Now you’re facing up, watching your girlfriend practically inhale a few pieces of chocolate. But now she seems more inclined to share. She plucks one more from the bag, offering it to you by holding it in front of your mouth. Gladly you open up, and she drops the chocolate, before giving you a small ‘boop’ on the nose. Both of you laugh, then, a sound that sparks warmth in your chest. This was… nice. Relaxing. Not only were the two of you allowed to be as open with your affection as you wanted, it was the first time in ages that you had actually been outside, able to enjoy the sunlight.

Several minutes pass by like this, with Daniela feeding you (and herself) candies, both of you taking time to appreciate the scenery. Eventually the bag of chocolates becomes close to empty, and you see your girlfriend have an ‘oh crap’ moment.

“I was going to save some of these for you to smuggle into your quarters, damn it… guess you’ll just have to refuse to share, babe,” she said, shrugging a little. Then she sets the bag aside, now devoting both of her hands to playing with your hair. “Guess I’ll just have to find something else to keep my tongue occupied. Know any volunteers?”

“Hmm… I would, but it’s reeeaaaaaallllllly comfortable down here,” you teased in reply. Suddenly her hands are taken out of your hair, and you can just barely see that they’re positioned on her hips. She’s pouting at you, very similar to how you’ve seen her mother do, yellow eyes betraying her mischief. What exactly did she have planned?

“Really, songbird? I take you out, give you a wonderful place to rest, hand feed you chocolates… and you won’t even kiss me? When was the last time you even got to do something like this?” She asked, perking an eyebrow. The question is innocent enough. The answer, however, is not. Even with your head in her lap, you cannot fight off the brief sense of panic as your mind flashes into the past. It takes a deep breath, a few blinks, and a reassuring touch from Daniela for you to calm back down. “Songbird?... Hey, hey, it’s okay, I didn’t- I don’t know what happened. But we don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to, we can just…” She trails off, sounding unsure of herself, and you feel a pang of guilt. Was it finally time to come clean?... Yeah, yeah it was.

“It’s fine, I promise. I just… I need to sit up for this,” you explained, begrudgingly rising out of her lap. But she doesn’t let you pull away entirely, a hand guiding you to sit right up against her. Then she gently wraps an arm around you. Leaning into her touch, you rest your head on her shoulder, closing your eyes for a few seconds. “It’s kind of a long story, firefly… But this has happened often enough that I need to tell you. At least part of it. So, well… When I was younger, I, uh, I read a lot of romance novels, watched a lot of movies. Not even the good ones, really. And I didn’t- I couldn’t think through them. Couldn’t analyze it the way I needed to. So I didn’t get a good grasp of what a healthy relationship looked like. My, uh, my folks weren’t keen on demonstrating one for me, either…

“Before I came to the village, I was, well, uh, the thing is you might not like this part? And you’re not gonna like the next part, either. Just… listen to the end, please,” you pleaded, waiting for an acknowledgment before continuing. “I was engaged, as in to be married, to a woman I had known for most of my life. We were neighbors, and had gone to school together, and everyone thought we were the cutest couple. Hell, for the longest time I thought that. We weren’t, though. She was-” Daniela tenses a bit, though remains silent- “manipulative, sometimes aggressive. Anytime there was an argument, she made herself into the victim, told me that I was crazy. She wanted to make all the decisions about our relationship for me, and I just… I didn’t question it. Not even after she proposed, when my only reason for saying yes was because we were in public, with friends, and she clearly assumed that I’d agree. I tried to tell her that I wasn’t ready, that maybe we were going too fast, but she tuned me out.

“I didn’t even think about running until our final date. That was the first, and the only, time that she ever… that she ever-” a few tears spill from the corners of your eyes- “got physical with me. She’d broken things before, for sure, but I never thought she’d hurt me.” Daniela rubs your back gently, her breathing a little shaky. Evidently she hated hearing about this as much as you hated talking about it. Somehow that made it a little easier to talk through. “The next day she had to work early, so I just packed up my things, went over to my parents’ house and told them what happened. For once they actually agreed, if you can believe it. Told me to get the hell out of town, said that they’d deal with my fiance, and our relatives, so that I didn’t have to worry about anything when I came back. It was less than a full day before I drove away from everything I had ever known, promising my folks that someday I’d be back. Didn’t settle down until half the continent was behind me, not ‘til I was here at the village.”

There were a couple moments of silence as Daniela waited to make sure you had finished talking. Then she’s kissing the top of your head, shaking a little more noticeably now, murmuring reassurances that you can’t quite understand. Again you lean into her touch, indescribably thankful for her comforting presence. Fuck, you think, I probably ruined the date… so much for spending quality time with my lil firefly. When the silence breaks, it does so softly, slowly, a careful opening rather than a forceful push.

“Why would you give me a second chance? After what I did to you?” Daniela asked, voice barely audible, her head still resting atop yours. It’s not the response you expected. Not in the slightest. You pull away slightly, to look her in her eyes, heart aching at the tear stains on her cheeks. Even though you want to give her an answer that will bring her peace, your mind draws little more than a blank. Why had you given her a chance? You had wanted to be with her, without doubt, even before Cassandra and Bela intervened. Even after every time that she reminded you of your past…

“I-I don’t know. Maybe I haven’t learned anything from what’s happened,” you started, uncertainty clear in your tone. “Or maybe it’s because you looked… regretful. You didn’t enjoy what you did, and I saw it in your eyes. And… and then you did something about it. If you hadn’t shown remorse, or if I genuinely believed that you might do something like that again, we wouldn’t be here right now. I mean, in that case your sisters probably would have killed me for turning you down, but that’s not entirely relevant right now, is it?” You’re rambling a little, stuttering over your own words. Still, somehow it makes Daniela laugh, and relief floods your chest. Soon enough you’re curled up against her once more.

“Hey,” she said, after a minute of comfortable silence. “Thank you for showing me what romance is supposed to be.” Then she’s leaning in for a kiss, and you’re responding eagerly, unable to stop yourself from smiling. This time it’s your hand that runs through her hair as you pull her in as close as you can. To your surprise, she does pull away a tad earlier than usual. But there’s a grin on her lips, and she looks satisfied as hell. “Definitely more of that, soon. There’s just one more thing we have to do, to make this date perfect, you know? I may or may not have, kind of, written you something? You’re not allowed to laugh, though!”

“When have I ever laughed at you?” You asked, teasing, literally laughing as you speak. In response, Daniela scowls, making a point to look away in feign protest. “Joking, joking… I’ve just, you know, never had someone write me something before. Kinda don’t know how to react, really. Other than blushing real hard-” which you were doing- “and trying to play off my excitement with humor. But I promise I won’t laugh, even if you start with something like ‘roses are red, violets are blue’ or end with something like ‘just us in bed, doing the do’. Please tell me that’s not what you wrote, though?”

“Now that you mention it, maybe that should be what I recite. Sounds exactly like the sort of thing that would get me laid,” Daniela joked, rolling her eyes at you. Then she’s tugging a loose piece of paper out of the picnic basket, unfolding it to reveal a well-worn surface and hand-written text. She hesitates for a moment, glancing up at you, before taking a deep breath. When she speaks it’s clear just how nervous she is. But with every line she gains a measure of confidence, by the end acting her usual confident self.

Step from the shadows, weary corners of my mind Encased in old thoughts, brought into new life Like ashes rising from tombs housing the divine

Spinning webs as I descend, from the cradle of heaven From the dead I have risen, blessed be the gift I’m given Only from your haunting call do I embrace living

Catching the corners of my lips turning up All my years I’ve felt, but never this much Quietly writhing, begging for your softest touch

The pursuit of unintentional romance left abandoned Whispering love-locked tales to be consumed Sweeter than every facade I have ever imagined

Come closer now, into my arms, heart embraced Trailing fingers over scars, sewing lines traced Tell me love, “we shall last until the end of days”

At first, all you can do in response is stare at her, expression filled with affection. Inside your chest your heart was racing, and you couldn’t remember the last time you felt this warm. Reaching out, you take one of Daniela’s hands in your own, grinning as soon as her gaze meets yours. Both of you are blushing rather hard. Then she sets the poem down, eyes never leaving yours for even a second. You try to stutter out a few words, but find your tongue tied, and so you settle for placing your forehead against hers. The two of you stay like that for a few loving moments. When you part, it is only to come back together, this time in a tight hug.

“One helluva date, yeah?” Daniela asked, looking incredibly proud of herself. You can’t help but nod enthusiastically in response, honestly happier than you had felt in years. “Well, I will have to let you get back to work soon, unfortunately… but we have a few minutes, at least. Besides, having to part will only make tonight all the more sweeter.” At that you pause, confused, tilting your head to the side. Realizing that she must have gotten ahead of herself, Daniela blushes before elaborating. “You, me, my room. Tonight, right after your shift ends.”

You could hardly wait.

[whitesparrows97]

Heartstring Melodies – Part 8

Pairing: Min Yoongi x Reader (feat. Jeon Jungkook x Reader)

Genre: Soulmate AU, College AU, fuckboy!Yoongi

Summary: Min Yoongi, the fuckboy of the whole college and the guy all girls fall for, should be your soulmate? You don’t believe that, you don’t want to believe that. Therefore, you and your best friend make a pact: She pretends to be you and gets together with Yoongi. Nothing can go wrong with that, right?

Warnings: Angst, talking about death and losing a loved one

Word Count: 6.1K

Previous / Next

Chapter eight: «Remember tonight… for it is the beginning of always.» – d.a.

You were still watching Hoseok’s car as it disappeared in the distance and stood motionless in front of the building for a few minutes before you took a deep breath and walked in the opposite direction of the entrance. You needed fresh air and the movement in your legs to distract you from the chaos in your head and heart. You fished your cell phone out of your pocket and dialed Seokjin’s number. He picked up the phone the first time it rang and you were surprised that he was even awake that late. 

“Y/N, where are you?” His voice sounded worried, slightly out of breath. You wondered for a short moment whether he was at home or even on the road. 

Confused, you frowned. “Hello, Jin,” you greeted him and ignored his question for now. It wasn’t like him to immediately jump straight to the point like that.

“Yes, hello, hello,” he rattled off, “Are you home? Or are you still at the party?”

Your confusion grew even more. “How did you know about the party?”

“I…” he hesitated a moment, “I heard rumors that something happened at the party. With Min Yoongi?”

You closed your eyes at the name and felt your breath leave your lungs. Of course. Of course your drama must have made waves already. Sometimes you had the feeling that a college campus was like a pack of starving wolves that would pounce on anything that came their way.  “Who told you that?”

Again, a short hesitation, but you noticed it anyway. “Um… Namjoon. A friend of his was also at the party and saw everything practically from the front row.”

“Great,” you replied sarcastically. Front row? Was this a soccer game or what? You wouldn’t be surprised if people had watched everything unfold eating popcorn. You wrapped your jacket around your shoulders tighter when a gust of wind made you shiver in the cool night. “Can… can I come over? I really need someone to talk to right now.”

“I’m already on my way to you,” Seokjin said and at the same moment you were illuminated by two bright lights that belonged to a car that came around the corner. You turned around and narrowed your eyes as the light blinded you. Then you saw Jin waving at you through the windshield. You finished the call and jogged to the car. Jin turned up the heat a little higher when he noticed you were shivering. 

“Thanks,” you whispered softly.  

“Hi, I’m Namjoon by the way,” you heard someone say from the back seat and flinched in surprise. You didn’t expect anyone else besides Jin to be in the car with you. 

You turned around and looked into the face of a young man, probably a little younger than Jin. He smiled apologetically at you and your eyes fell briefly on the two dimples that formed on his cheeks. 

“Y/N,” you replied and nodded to him with a slight smile. “My reputation probably precedes me.”

“Oh, it’s not that bad,” he tried to calm you down but Jin clicked his tongue disapprovingly. 

“It’s not that bad?” he repeated and gave you a quick side glance, “Y/N, my God. Why didn’t you tell me about the shit you got yourself into?”

“I wanted to tell you, but I didn’t know how,” you sighed. All of a sudden your head was so heavy with fatigue that you had to lean it against the window pane. You were having trouble breathing and your tattoo was tingling uncomfortably. For a short moment you felt the panic rising inside you as you wondered if Yoongi was okay. You still had his disappointed and worried face before your eyes when you left the party with Jungkook and Hoseok. 

“So?” Jin kept asking when you were too absorbed in thought to go on. 

“Yoongi is my soulmate.”

“Oh well, no shit,” Jin interrupted you directly and you saw him rolling his eyes out of the corner of your eye.

“Jin,” you only said softly. You didn’t have the strength to argue with him. “I didn’t want him as my soulmate, so I let Liv have him.”

“How generous.”

You pressed your lips together. This was exactly what you were afraid Jin wouldn’t understand. You blamed yourself enough. You didn’t need to be reminded of it by anyone else. Although, the longer you thought about it, the more you questioned that statement. You knew exactly what you were doing and what the consequences would be. Still, that did not stop you from not doing it. Maybe you really needed someone to put you in your place. You couldn’t rely on Liv in that case. 

By the way.

You looked at your cell phone, which you still held tightly in one hand. No message. Of course not. Even if it shouldn’t surprise you, you couldn’t deny the short sting in your heart. You were best friends for years. It hurt that it broke up like that now. 

“You really should talk to Yoongi,” Jin said after a long break while you sat silently in the car. Only the engine of the car and the blowing of the heating system were all that could be heard. 

“From what I heard, Yoongi must have looked pretty upset,” Namjoon added, and you caught Jin giving him an evil look in the rearview mirror. 

“Not much help,” he murmured before turning his attention back to the street in front of him. You were relieved when you recognized the street and the buildings flying past you. Soon you would have arrived at Jin’s apartment. “I am serious. I can understand that you don’t want a soulmate and that you see this as an intrusion into your freedom–”

“That is not the reason,” you interrupted his monologue with a murmur. 

“But,” Jin stressed, without going into your comment, “that doesn’t mean you have the right to hurt him like that. He is your soulmate, how would you feel if he had done the same to you? You should have talked to him, maybe all this would have cleared up. Maybe you could have become friends first.”

“That’s not how it works,” you mumbled. 

Jin raised an eyebrow at that. “No? Are you directly attracted to the other person?”

You nodded without saying a word. Your head was too busy recalling Yoongi’s soft lips and slim, long fingers that caressed your hair and embraced your chin.

“Do you want to elaborate? Is there anything I should know?”

“Hm,” you just said, and all of a sudden the little crumbs that were on the dashboard of the car became particularly interesting, so you turned your attention to them. 

“Do I want to know?”

“I don’t think so,” you said sheepishly, and Jin groaned. 

“How can you get yourself into such a mess in a few days?” He shook his head when he parked outside his apartment. “Well, here we are. Are you hungry? I made some soup earlier, maybe it will help.”

Thankfully, you took him up on his offer when he let you and Namjoon into his apartment, and he disappeared right into the kitchen to warm it up. You and Namjoon took a seat on the small sofa in the living room. You watched Namjoon sit down, visibly nervous, and smiled at him encouragingly. “So, you’re a friend of Jin’s?”

Namjoon rubbed his neck slightly embarrassed. “So, uh… Maybe it would be better if Jin told you about this himself.”

Confused, you frowned. “Why is that?” you asked, but then a thought popped into your head. You heard yourself make a surprised sound and your eyebrows shot up so far that they almost disappeared into your hairline. “Are you…” you lowered your voice, which had become louder with excitement, “Are you together?” You leaned forward a bit and looked at Namjoon excitedly. 

Namjoon turned his gaze to the ground for a moment, embarrassed, before nodding hesitantly. “We only met a few weeks ago, so I don’t really know which way this is going. But I really like him.”

You held yourself back, not to make another happy, excited sound. You were incredibly thrilled for your friend and this joy even pushed the feeling of guilt into the background, which you still felt when you thought back to Jungkook. 

“I’m glad about that. You are a good match,” you honestly said and gave him a warm smile.

“I’ll pretend I didn’t hear that,” said Jin, who came into the room at that moment and placed a bowl of steaming hot soup on the coffee table in front of you. “I’m much more interested in how you were able to hurt Yoongi and Jungkook in one fell swoop.”

Sighing, you grabbed the spoon and began to scoop the soup into yourself. “I thought we were done with this?”

“You’d like that, missy,” he said and leaned back in the armchair on the other side of the coffee table. “Does he at least know now that you are Y/N and not Liv?”

You shook your head. “He asked me at the party, but I couldn’t admit it. Not while everyone else was there and their attention was on us.”

Jin sighed and rubbed his face, tired. “What am I going to do with you?” he murmured into his hands and you turned your gaze to your soup in front of you. You had lost your appetite. Instead, an uncomfortable mass had settled in your stomach, which took your inside and spread further and further. None of you said anything anymore and only the unspoken reproaches hung in the room.

Then you finally broke the silence after a few minutes. “I’ll fix this,” you promised and looked at Jin determined. And you promised not only Jin or Namjoon or also Yoongi who couldn’t hear your promise. But above all, you promised yourself. 

❀ ❀ ❀ ❀

Your first action on your amends list was to accompany Jin to the lab on Monday morning. Enough of sitting around, twiddling your thumbs and sulking. You had gone home early yesterday morning and spent the whole day thinking about what you would say to Yoongi. How you would have a chance to make up for everything. You knew that he wouldn’t just accept you again. At least he shouldn’t. You wouldn’t.

But you didn’t want to think about that for now. You concentrated on reading and understanding the instructions on the task sheet before you helped Jin get the necessary utensils and supplies from the various cupboards. He was visibly glad that you helped him today and that he didn’t have to do the experiment on his own. This thought alone made your guilty conscience flare up for a moment. But you suppressed it. It was time that you left this feeling behind. You had to make up for a lot of things, but that’s exactly what you started now. You thanked Jin again for doing so much preparatory work. He might not have been aware of it but he had saved your butt the last weeks. Without him, you would probably fail this semester. 

He brushed off your thanks with a wave of his hand. “It’s okay, I understand that you had a lot on your mind. And you’re here now, that’s the important thing.” He threw a big grin at you, which made you breathe a sigh of relief. “Have you handed in your report on clownfish yet?” Jin asked as he looked through the microscope. You were glad he didn’t see the look on your face when you were reminded of your and Jungkook’s first date. You remembered his excited and enthusiasm when he had pointed at a clownfish. Before you knew it, a sigh had slipped across your lips. Jin looked up from the microscope and frowned at you.

“Did I say something wrong?”

You shook your head, despite the fact that you had a lump in your throat. “No,” you said and cleared your throat once when your voice failed, “It’s okay. I was just thinking about Jungkook.”

“Oh,” Jin said and you could see out of the corner of your eye how he hesitated with his answer. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“Maybe some other time,” you politely denied, “I just hope he can forgive me someday,” you mumbled and also looked through the microscope to distract you and take your mind off things. You should concentrate, you had promised Jin and also yourself. 

“I’m sure he will eventually,” you heard Jin say next to you and a second later you felt his reassuring hand on your shoulder, “Give him some time.”

Jungkook’s words came back into your head and sadly you pushed the microscope aside. “And what if time doesn’t help? Time doesn’t heal all wounds.”

“Wow,” said Jin and a light smile played around his lips, “I never knew you were so poetic, Y/N.”

“Oh, shut up,” you replied and slapped him lightly on the upper arm. Gasping for air, he backed off and rubbed his aching arm. He glared at you angrily for a moment before his gaze slipped on something behind you.

“You’re not allowed in here without a lab coat,” Jin suddenly said very seriously and confused, you turned around. You looked directly into Yoongi’s eyes, who was standing a few meters away from you, staring at you silently. From his gaze, you could practically see that the cat was out of the bag. He had heard what name Jin had addressed you by. It didn’t make sense to deny your lies anymore. 

Jin seemed to have noticed it, too. “Maybe you’d rather talk outside?” he suggested quietly next to you and absent-mindedly you nodded. Yoongi turned around at Jin’s words without a word and walked towards the exit of the lab room. 

You quickly pulled the coat off your shoulders and hung it on the rack next to the door before you followed Yoongi with your heart pounding loudly. With sweaty fingers you closed the door behind you again and hardly dared to look at Yoongi who stood a few meters away. When you looked up briefly, you saw that Yoongi had his eyes on the floor. Was he angry? Would he yell at you any moment? Or were you worried for nothing and he didn’t even–

“What the hell?” he threw at you when you stopped in front of him. He looked up and you saw anger flaring up in his eyes. You couldn’t blame him. You probably wouldn’t have been so calm if you were in his place. Yet you winced at his words and tone of voice and had to swallow the lump in your throat. “So you lied on Saturday? Again?”

You shrank a little more at his words. You couldn’t bring yourself to look him in the eyes, you were too ashamed. 

“Do you have any idea how shitty I’ve felt the last two days?” He threw both his arms in the air. You wished that the ground would open up beneath you and swallow you up forever. “To be honest, for the last two weeks even. I’ve been racking my brains over and over again about what’s wrong with me and why I don’t feel anything for my soulmate. Turns out that my soulmate was not who I thought she was. My soulmate apparently wants nothing to do with me and doesn’t even respect me enough to talk to me about it.” You saw out of the corner of your eye how he had talked himself into such a rage that he had to catch his breath. “I just don’t understand why. What have I done to you to make you do this to me?”

You still had your eyes on the ground. The corners of your eyes began to burn as you felt Yoongi’s gaze on you. He expected an answer, an answer you couldn’t really give him. Looking back, you realized how stupid the whole plan was and you cursed both you and Liv for going through with it. 

“You can’t even look at me,” he said and spat the sentence right at your feet. From there it stared at you with a ghastly grimace and demanded that you finally tell the truth.

You cleared your throat for fear that your voice would fail again and only come out as a silent scratch. Carefully you dared to look up and your heart contracted painfully as you saw Yoongi’s confused and hurt expression. “I’m sorry,” you whispered and had to suppress the strong need to bridge the last steps between you and embrace him. You wanted so badly to explain everything to him that it wasn’t his fault and that everything would be better now. But your tongue was stuck to the roof of your mouth. 

“Well, there you go,” he murmured, exhaling in frustration the air he had been holding. 

“We are just so different,” you tried to explain yourself, to clear up the unpleasant atmosphere between you, “I never thought that we … that we could be soulmates.”

“Yes, I would have imagined someone else, too. Maybe someone a bit more honest,” Yoongi said and rolled his eyes. You tried not to give too much meaning to his words but they still hurt. Maybe Liv was right when she said that Yoongi would never accept you as a soulmate anyway. You mostly didn’t even accept yourself. And you also understood that you probably deserved that after your actions the last two weeks. But that didn’t change the fact that it hurt to hear it so clearly. “And your behaviour with Jungkook was also completely out of line,” he continued and you agreed with a nod towards the floor. “He didn’t deserve to be treated like that.”

“I know,” you said softly. You knew all that and it hurt to hear it all served up on a silver platter again. “Anything else?” you therefore asked after a short pause.

“Anything else?” Yoongi repeated outraged, “I can continue this list, Y/N. Why? Do you feel bad?”

Your eyes flickered briefly in his direction, but you quickly lowered your gaze again. 

“What did you expect, Y/N? That I would thank you and jump in your arms because you suddenly changed your mind and wanted me as your soulmate? Would you even like that? I just don’t know what goes on in your head. You didn’t even have the guts to tell me the truth. Instead, I have to figure out a theory for myself that will be confirmed because your friend calls you by your name and I happen to hear it.” You could feel his gaze on you, which pierced you, but you still couldn’t return it. “Tell me something, Y/N. Would you have told me the truth if I had not heard it and asked you now? Would you have even sought the conversation if I hadn’t shown up here? Because you don’t look particularly happy that I’m here.”

“And what do you expect from me now?” you asked him the same question back loudly and your exclamation echoed in the hallway from the walls and lockers. “Newsflash: You are not the only one who has been miserable the last few days! I have blamed myself so much that I hurt you and Jungkook. I have lost my best friend, whom I have known for years, even decades, and all because of such stupid lines on my skin.”

“Am I supposed to feel sorry for you or what do you want me to say?” He buried his hands in the pockets of his jeans and looked at you with a blank expression. 

“I don’t want your pity, Min Yoongi. I don’t want anything from you.”

“Good.”

“Good…” What? What just happened? This isn’t how you imagined this conversation. It was the exact opposite of what you were thinking of yesterday. No, no, you couldn’t part like that. You took a deep breath to sort out your jumbled thoughts and calm down again. “That was a lie,” you uttered what you should have done weeks ago.

Yoongi slowly raised an eyebrow as if he had expected this answer. “What exactly?” he asked anyway and you wondered if he actually just wanted to hear it from your mouth.

“That I want nothing from you.”

“Good,” he repeated and nodded once. Then he came a step towards you and you held your breath. “Go on.”

“I’m an idiot and I put my fears and anxieties before your feelings. I’m sorry about that.”

“Uh-huh,” he said and came one step closer. 

“I should have talked to you instead of coming up with this stupid plan.”

“Wait, that was your idea?” he asked in surprise and frowned. “Liv told me that it was her idea.”

Now it was your turn to look at him confused. “You two spoke to each other?”

He nodded. “Yesterday. She wanted to meet up with me and work this out. At first I thought it was another one of her plans, but she actually wanted to explain everything. How else would I have found out where to find you today?”

You didn’t know what to think. Did Liv help you clarify things with Yoongi? And did she even take the blame so that you were better off in front of Yoongi? As noble as she was, you were sick of lies. So you shook your head. “It wasn’t her idea, it was really mine. And I know now that it was wrong. It was just too much for me at that moment.”

“I understand that,” he said. Those three words were what you had so much hoped for from him. He understood. He didn’t know the whole story and yet he understood you. Hesitantly you smiled at him. And he returned it. “Shall we go to my place? And talk about everything in peace?”

Your head nodded without you registering. “Jin will hate me if I let him down again,” you noticed with a short hesitation. But Yoongi suddenly took your hand and stroked the back of your hand calmly. Your gaze fell on your hands and you couldn’t deny the warm feeling that was spreading in your chest. 

“I can wait and we’II meet when you’re done here.” His eyes sparkled slightly as he smiled at you.

But you shook your head and, after a moment of hesitation, took Yoongi’s hand. He could not hide his slight surprise. “This can’t wait, I’ve kept you waiting too long, Yoongi. I’m sure Jin will understand.”

The corners of his mouth twitched slightly upwards and he avoided your gaze “I like the way you say my name,” he murmured and it looked like his cheeks were turning a slight pinkish tone. But before you could get a closer look, he had let go of your hand and nodded towards the lab. “Go ahead, I’ll wait for you here. I don’t want him bitching at me again about being in the lab without a lab coat.”

You laughed softly and took a few steps back without letting him out of your sight. Then you smiled at him again before you quickly walked back to the lab. 

You had just pushed the door shut when you almost walked into Jin’s chest. Surprised, you looked up at him. “Hi.”

“Come on,” he sighed and nodded towards the door. “As they say, you shouldn’t stop lovers.”

Your eyes widened. “We are not lovers! Don’t say that,” you mumbled the last part. 

“I can see that in your smile and your reddened cheeks. So now go, don’t keep him waiting.” He turned you by the shoulders back towards the door and pushed you forward. “But promise me you’ll tell me everything about what soulmate sex feels like.”

“JIN!” you shouted, but by then he had pushed the door open and shoved you into the hallway. 

❀ ❀ ❀ ❀

The bus ride to Yoongi’s apartment went by in no time. Neither of you said much and after a few minutes Yoongi had grabbed your hand again and held it firmly between his two. You had leaned your head against his shoulder shortly afterwards and noticed how your eyelids became heavy after a few minutes. The constant roar of the bus engine and the warmth Yoongi radiated surrounded you like a warm blanket, so that you fell asleep without realizing it. The exertion and tension of the last two weeks caught up with you, so you slept through most of the ride. Only the loud buzzing when someone pressed the stop button startled you from your sleep. When you looked up, Yoongi was already smiling at you and you realized that he must have pressed the button. 

The walk from the bus stop to the apartment was short and led through a small park where the leaves of the trees already showed the first signs of autumn. A few minutes later, you stood in the living room of Yoongi’s two-room apartment and glanced at the countless books he had on the shelf. You heard Yoongi working in the kitchen and smiled when you discovered a thick tome on 20th century composers. You were immediately reminded of your first meeting, which felt like it had been ages ago. As if by itself, you raised your hand and stroked carefully over the spine of the book. 

“Tea?” Yoongi asked, who suddenly stood next to you and you flinched inevitably because of his sudden appearance. Thankfully, you took the steaming cup from him and wrapped your hands around it. Yoongi followed your gaze and you saw him roll his eyes. “I had to buy a book myself last week after all. The library hasn’t got anything.”

You made an approving sound and sipped cautiously on your cup so as not to burn yourself on the hot drink. “Shall we sit down?” he asked you and you agreed nodding. A little nervously you put the cup down on the coffee table. It had felt good to have something in your hands so you wouldn’t play with your fingers all the time. Like now when you ran them over the soft cover of the sofa. 

Yoongi seemed to notice your tension as he put his hand on yours that was between you two. “No need to be nervous, Y/N,” he reassured you with a little smile, “the worst has already been cleared up. I am not angry with you, if that helps you. I just want to know why. Was it because of me or did you generally not want a soulmate?”

You sighed. Even though that would probably bring the mood down, you finally had to tell him the whole truth. As reluctant as you were to talk about it, Yoongi was your soulmate and he deserved that you were honest with him. You turned your hand so that you could grasp his hand and your fingers intertwined naturally. 

You sighed with a look at Yoongi, who patiently waited for you to speak. “To be honest, a little bit of both. You always seemed like the typical fuckboy to me.” Yoongi laughed softly at that word and you felt like your heart would jump out of your chest at any moment at the sound. “I’m the exact opposite of you, no one looks at me twice when I walk past.”

“I think you have a wrong idea of yourself then,” Yoongi interrupted you with a short twitch of the corners of his mouth. 

“I don’t think so,” you contradicted him. Yoongi probably didn’t understand your problem, all eyes followed him as soon as he entered a room. 

“Maybe you just don’t realize it because you’re always so absorbed in thought?” He raised an eyebrow. “Besides, I don’t think we are as different as you might think. We just haven’t had a chance to get to know each other better.”

“That’s true,” you admitted quietly, knowing that was your fault. 

But Yoongi immediately took your mind off it when he asked: “And what’s the second part? Why didn’t you want a soulmate?” You hesitated and Yoongi immediately backpedaled. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want ”

“Yes I do,” you contradicted him and squeezed his hand a little harder, “No more lies and secrets. I have to tell you sooner or later anyway.” You took another deep breath. “My parents were soulmates, too. They met in middle school and have spent almost every second together since then. All my childhood and youth I have seen how incredibly beautiful it is to find someone with whom you can spend your whole life without question.” You paused for a moment. “But I also saw how much it can destroy you when that person is taken away from you.”

Yoongi slowly began to understand what you were trying to say and caressed the back of your hand with his thumb to soothe you. 

“My mother had a stroke about three years ago, and because the brain was not supplied with oxygen for several minutes, she survived but fell into a coma. I never want to get into this situation like my dad, who had to decide whether to turn off the machines. He struggled with himself for over a year, every day, every hour, hoping that she might wake up again. But even if she did wake up at some point, the doctors said that she would probably not wake up… and she wouldn’t have been herself anymore. If the brain is deprived of oxygen for that long… she probably wouldn’t have even recognized us…” You suppressed the tears burning in your eyes.

Yoongi had become very quiet next to you. Only his thumb stroking your hand showed you that he was still sitting next to you. Then he cleared his throat slightly before he grabbed your chin with his free hand and carefully turned your head in his direction. Your breath stopped when you saw how his eyes glistened suspiciously. “I am incredibly sorry about this, Y/N. It all makes so much sense why you are so averse to soulmates. I understand completely.” He brushed the hair from your face that had come loose while talking and gave you a sad smile. “Of course I cannot promise that I will never get sick, but I promise that I will never leave you. From now on you will always have me by your side until you say you’ve had enough of me.”

“That’s not going to happen,” you laughed and at the same time a single tear rolled down your cheek. Yoongi caught it with his fingers and wiped it away. You leaned forward and Yoongi wrapped his arms around the middle of your body as you leaned your head on his shoulder. You took a deep breath and felt your whole body relax with Yoongi’s scent. His hands gently stroked your back in slow movements and pressed you closer to him. As if he was afraid that you would vanish into thin air any moment right before his eyes. 

You separated from him and looked up to him, your hands still buried in his hoodie. Yoongi raised one hand from your back and gently stroked your hair before leaning forward slightly. Instinctively you closed your eyes and a moment later your lips met. It felt just as good, no, even better, than last time. All the guilt that had taken over you last time was now gone. 

The kiss was gentle, passionate and Yoongi was almost cautious. Your lips moved with each other instead of against each other and you felt Yoongi’s tongue tenderly stroke your lips. With a smile, you opened your mouth and let Yoongi’s tongue enter you, eager to finally explore everything. His hands were on your hips, drawing you closer to him. He lifted you as if you weighed nothing and placed you on his lap. You pressed yourself against his chest and buried your hands in his hair. You let your fingers slide through his soft curls and sighed as Yoongi bit your lip almost hesitantly. 

It shouldn’t surprise you, but a surprised mixture of both moaning and sighing slipped away when you suddenly felt something hard between your legs. Yoongi had now made it his business to spread little kisses along your jaw before he started sucking on your sensitive skin around your neck. 

“Yoongi,” you breathed and already hated yourself to interrupt this making out session. 

“Uh-huh,” he hummed against your neck and the vibration sent a shiver down your body. He pulled your hips closer into his lap and now you couldn’t suppress the moan that stumbled across your lips. 

“Yoongi, wait a moment,” you asked again and Yoongi stopped in his movements. Confused, he looked up.

“Is this going too fast for you?”

“Not really,” you admitted and felt the heat rise to your cheeks. That it was actually the opposite and that you wanted to tear his clothes off his body was something you kept to yourself for now. “It’s just that you probably have a little more experience than I do.”

“So what?” he asked, shrugging his shoulders and without batting an eyelid.

“I-I don’t know, isn’t it weird that I… I don’t know if I’m doing the right thing sometimes and if that feels good for you.”

Yoongi now looked up at you and leaned back a little. “Wow, wow. Wait a minute, we seem to have some things to clear up. Why would that be weird, baby?”

His pet name took your breath away for a moment. “I don’t know, shouldn’t you have some experience at our age. Like you have?”

Yoongi almost looked at you in astonishment. “Listen to me, Y/N. There are people who say that the way I live is a fuckboy. Just because I like dating women and being close to them physically doesn’t mean that I jump at everything that comes my way. And even if I did,” he added with a shrug of his shoulders, “that wouldn’t matter. Everyone should do what they think is right, as long as they don’t hurt anyone with it.”

“So you don’t have… didn’t…” You felt uncomfortable saying it but Yoongi knew what you were getting at. 

“You can ask me how many women I’ve slept with. I’m not ashamed to say.”

“Okay,” you said and asked him to continue. 

“Five,” came the simple answer. You didn’t even try to hide your surprise. “Surprised huh? I guess my reputation precedes me a bit. But as I was saying, would anything change for you if there were more? I don’t think so. It’s the here and now that counts, being with you and thinking only of you. And to your fear that I find it weird that you have hardly any experience so far. First of all, I haven’t noticed anything about it yet,” he told you with a wink, “and secondly, we have enough time for me to show you everything. Please do not worry about that.”

“Okay,” you muttered, not yet one hundred percent convinced.

“And the fear that you might do something that doesn’t feel good for me… I think you’re noticing exactly what you’re doing to me,” he muttered and gave you a kiss on the mouth. 

You let out a short laugh and gave a shy look between your two bodies. Yoongi immediately grabbed your chin and looked at you seriously. “I mean it, baby. Please don’t worry about it.”

“Okay,” you said and nodded. You pressed your lips back to his and slipped your hands under his hoodie. He sighed into the kiss as you stroked his skin. His moans as you grazed his nipples went through your spine and you almost moaned in response. 

But then Yoongi suddenly grabbed your wrists. He laughed softly and leaned back a little. “Maybe we should really slow down after this conversation.”

The disappointment was obvious when you interpreted Yoongi’s laughter correctly. “But… but I want you,” you muttered almost incomprehensibly and Yoongi embraced your face with his hands. 

“I want you too, baby, but we have so much time. There’s no need to hurry.”

With pouting lips, you looked back at Yoongi but he just pressed your face tighter between his hands and smiled at you.

“You’re cute when you sulk but that puppy eyes don’t work for me. Just for the future.”

You’d see that.

————————

Hi guys! I hope all of you are doing amazing and are staying safe! And of course I hope you liked this chapter. Do you understand now why Y/N didn’t want a soulmate? Losing a loved one is probably one of the most hurtful things that can happen to you. I sadly speak from experience, so if you ever need someone to talk to, please don’t hesitate and send me a dm!

Also I’ll be gone from Tuesday to Thursday, so I probably won’t be too active for these three days. So please don’t wonder why I might not answer or reply in this time. I like to take my time (probably more than is healthy but overthinking everything is my life lol) with answering and don’t want to rush anything. I hope you’re having a great start into this new week and see you soon! 💜

 Tag list:

@loveyoongles @missseoulite @mymainaccountlol @stillcopingxx @boywithtofucheekies @betysotelo18 @wrecklesseuphoria @welcometothecity @teresaisla @kaheryn @forever-once-gone @deathkat657 @daisybutterlions @ilillyshadow @purplelady85 @kelitt @katbonv @mickmoon @aretha170 @tonystenk @mama-m0chi @yiyi4657 @xxsugababexx @chxmachxps @neverthefirstchoice​

[stanknotstark]

Astral Pt. 8 (Loki x Reader)

Ok guys they’re REUNITED! God i hope you all know that I wrote all 7 parts in one day because i was so obsessed with getting chapters out so i wouldn’t have to write them daily or lose my thoughts!! Ok well now i have some time to figure out where the story will go from here or if i end it here....

IM JUST JOKING it’s not over yet XDD it’s barely begun :p Feel free to send messages about what you think is gonna happen or who might make minor appearances, villain or hero, cuz i have some planned out! I’ve been doing research guys, i bought a marvel encyclopedia for the first time in years cuz i visited the store the other day and loaded up on comic books again it’s been awhile but my collection is growing again ^^

You’re standing next to Natasha when the brothers drop down from the sky in their rainbow elevator thing. Thor called it the bifrost? It wasn’t something Loki had talked about when you had been on speaking terms, he must have not found it important enough.

The brothers landed outside on Stark’s glorified patio, 91 floors up. You almost forget to breathe as you look at Loki. His hair is a little longer now, he’s definitely lost some weight, and the bags under his eyes tell you enough. His face is cold as he looks around and, angrily, lets Thor lead him inside where you all stand in various places waiting on them. You note that both the brothers are dressed casually but it’s still a bit much, Earth wise. 

You swallow as Loki first sees Tony and smirks at him, “Seems I won’t be missing that drink you promised?” 

Tony gave him a once over then shrugged. “I guess you deserve a small break. Thor filled me in on what’s been going on.” Tony said, you thought you could hear a hint of a threat lacing his words though. Loki huffed and rolled his eyes looking at the rest of the team before his eyes landed on you. 

You looked into his eyes for what felt like hours but must have only been seconds. The angry look he had been parading in dropped and you saw a flurry of reactions so quick everyone else would miss it but you knew Loki. You try your best to keep your face disinterested, not quite sure if you succeed. Still a bit hurt he told you to never come back coming to the front of your mind you look away and whisper to Nat, “I gotta go, fill me in on what happens.” Then you rush out.

You hear Tony saying, “You already scared off y/n..” as you left the room. 

You basically run to your room and slam the door shut. Your breathing had started becoming haggard on your way up and only intensified as you closed yourself in your room. Both your hands gripped at your hair and pull, your eyes squeezed shut, tight. You shouldn’t be reacting like this it was Loki, it was just Loki. He wouldn’t hurt you, physically. You had thought that you were over whatever heartbreak you had all those years before. How the fuck were you to function normally around him if just one look at him made you this panicky? Made your heart beat so hard you thought it might break out of your ribs. Made you want to cry deliriously happy and sad at the same time. 

You let go of your hair, let your tears fall, and punched the wall a few times, hoping the pain in your hands would ground you. Luckily, it did, but you’d probably have to come up with an excuse because your knuckles were blooming dark purple. You took in deep breaths, copying what Loki had taught you to do when you got to worked up, subconsciously, the thought of him causing you to freak a bit more but then you just focused on breathing. 

It’s a few hours later when Natasha comes to your room and tells you dinner is ready. You had settled and had a book open in your lap as you sat on your bed. You consider skipping dinner and you’re about to say it when you see the look Natasha is giving you. She had been the one to teach you to over come your fears, to face them head on. She probably thought you were scared of Loki because he had tried to take over the world. Oh, how wrong she was. You nodded and told her you were gonna wear something else. She left you in peace and you sighed, rubbing a hand over your face then putting on your brave face and getting dressed in something casual. A simple t-shirt and jeans would suffice. 

When you entered the dinning room, a floor below yours, everyone was seated. Natasha had left you a seat. Right next to Loki. You swallowed and studiously kept your eyes anywhere but on Loki when you sat down. You realized Loki was very tense when you sat next to him but said nothing on the matter. 

“Brother! This is dear Y/n I mentioned, she’s got a quick wit just like you, I’m sure you both will be the best of friends!” 

You smiled at Thor but it probably came off as more of a grimace because Thor gave you a frown. Loki said nothing and focused on eating his food. The whole table got silent realizing something was up between you and Loki. You cleared your throat and tried to sooth things over by looking at Loki. His eyes caught yours and for a second you got lost in them, again. God, get ahold of yourself!

Mentally shaking your head you plastered a smile on and said, “Nice to meet you, Loki, I can’t wait to get to know you.” You finish lamely then quickly look at your food and begin stuffing your face so you wouldn’t have to speak anymore. 

“Riiiiiight.” Tony said eyeing you and Loki suspiciously. Steve sat next to him frowning at your attitude. You missed the silent conversation Natasha and Clint had. 

“You’re going to choke if you continue to eat like a bilge snipe that hasn’t seen food in weeks.” Loki said in a casual voice.

You choke. You swallow what is in your mouth, Natasha hitting your back a few times, and then you laugh. 

God you missed Loki. 

“Remember when you swallowed that moon berr-” Stopping yourself short you swallowed and closed your eyes, last seeing Loki’s happy look turn into a neutral face as he glances around at the team. Damn. 

“Remember? You two know each other?” Natasha asked, nudging you with her elbow. Thankfully you see she reserves her judgement on the situation. 

Sighing you look at the team and set your utensils down. 

“Loki is...” You shot Loki a confused look as if to ask if you still were but shook your head and continued on looking at Nat primarily, “We’re soulmates. I first met Loki when I was 13 years old.” 

“In person?” Steve asked.

“No, I can astral project my spirit but because I’m his soulmate it wasn’t hard it just kind of happened when I needed him most.” 

You picked up your glass of water, noticing you are shaking a bit. You especially tried not to jump when you felt Loki set a comforting hand on your thigh under the table. Taking a drink you looked at the table, took a deep breath, then let your eyes come back up to the confused team. 

“When you needed him most?” Tony asked after a few minutes of silence. 

Looking at Tony you bit your lip. Should you....

“My grandfather killed my grandmother in front of me when I was 13, I hid in my closet and closed my eyes, when I opened them I was in a room in Asgard.” 

“She was in one of my mental rooms that I use to astral project. A fabricated room I made when I was younger.” Loki said, his eyes only on you. 

“He was always there when something bad happened and we became best friends. I was 17 when I realized I had magic, his magic.” You said looking at Nat who looked confused. “Because we’re connected through our mind and soul, I draw my power from him. The powers I have are Loki’s in a sense but at the same time my own, I can do some things he can’t and vice versa.” 

“So if Loki just like, hypothetically, died,” Tony rolled his eyes when Loki glared at him, “Hypothetically! Would you lose your powers?” 

You swallowed as a knot formed in your throat and looked at Loki with sad eyes, willing him to answer because you surely didn’t have an answer for that. 

“Possibly.” Loki clipped out, sending a glare at Tony, as if damning him for making you think of that preposterous idea. 

Tony hummed in thought. 

“If you’re soulmates, why did she react the way she did when she first saw you?” Thor asked, mostly aiming the question to Loki. Loki looked at Thor, angry, then let out a breath and held his chin high. 

“We had a falling out three years ago.” 

“No doubt your fault?” Thor said causing Loki to nod once with a roll of his eyes. 

“No!” You yelled looking at Loki with exasperation. “I’m the one that chose to leave!” 

“I’m the one that gave you an ultimatum.” Loki ground out, frowning at you. 

“You were trying to keep me safe.” You said causing Loki to scoff. 

“Ok, wait, what happened so we can all choose our sides respectfully here?” Clint asked. 

“Shield found out about my powers when I was 17, said once I turn 18 they can give me an offer I can’t refuse. I could work for them. Loki said not to do it because it sounded like they were gonna use me as a weapon, that we knew nothing about Shield and what it stood for,” You sighed and pinched the bridge of your nose with closed eyes, “I told him I was gonna take up their offer considering I had a bad home life, he argued Shield could be more dangerous and I told him I was still gonna take the offer anyways so he offered an ultimatum.” Letting your hand fall down to your lap and over Loki’s, still resting on your lap. You softly caressed his knuckles under the table. When you had closed your eyes, to pinch your bridge, you missed the concerned look Loki gave as he saw the violet bruises on your knuckles. 

“He said if I leave to never come back because he wouldn’t be able to watch me get hurt.” 

Tony breathed through his teeth, a hiss, but otherwise everyone stayed silent. 

“I left.” You finished lamely.

The table stayed silent for awhile, everyone gathering their thoughts and questions, until Steve spoke up. 

“After she left, what did you do Loki?” 

“I had Heimdal watch over her-”

“He is all seeing.” Thor said quickly to help out.

“-and I told him that if she were to find any trouble she could not handle to send me to her.” 

You looked up at Loki, shocked, who zealously kept his eyes on Steve. You offered what comfort you could by grasping his hand and squeezing. You smiled inwardly as Loki’s tense form softened slightly. 

“I’m taking it she never ran into trouble she couldn’t handle.” Steve said, more as a statement than a question.

“From what Heimdal has told me, joining Shield is the best thing to happen to her and I almost stopped that.” 

“You couldn’t have known.” You said quietly, frowning in thought, Loki finally looked down at you and your heart almost broke in half at the hurt in his eyes. 

“All you wanted was the best for me and I’m sorry I left,” You looked down and squeezing his hand before looking back up at his eyes, “I’m sorry I left and never tried to reach you again but I’m not sorry about the decision I made.” 

Loki looked at you for a bit then nodded, satisfied with something he found on your face or possibly in your eyes. “I’m sorry I never tried to reach out to you too.” Loki admitted.

You glanced at Thor who sat next to Loki, looking a little put out he never knew about the both of you. 

“Sorry we didn’t tell you Thor I kind of wanted to keep it a secret because I was going through a lot and wasn’t very trusting of strangers at the time.” You said to placate Thor, making the blame fall on you instead of Loki since their relationship was already rocky to begin with. A minor way you could apologize to Loki about not contacting him. 

Thor smiled, genuinely, then said “I’m just happy to make your acquaintance now, y/n.” 

Everyone went back to eating their almost cold meal now. Natasha and Clint the only ones that noted that you and Loki ate with one hand the entire time.

Conversations flowed between the team smoothly like you all were meant to be there, together. No one made any comments on the fact that you and Loki couldn’t keep your eyes off each other the entire time either.

Pt. 7/Pt. 8/?

Tag list: @justfangirlthingies @emelieh99  @high-functioning-lokipath​ 

[whatifxwereyou]

Ashes Chapter 8: Hollywood

Pairing: Liu Kang x Reader

Finally, some air to breathe that isn't from Liu Kang. Maybe a little peace before some angst? But only maybe.

A/N: Had some fun writing Cole Young. Angst everywhere though. Sorry I don't have much to say today. Bad day. Hope you are all doing great though. Sending good vibes all around. Smooches.

First Chapter << Previous Chapter Next Chapter >> Chapter Index

When you’d got tired of the beach you’d gone to the hotel where Liu had told you that the others had been staying while they dealt with Johnny Cage, a B-Movie action star with an ego the size of a washed-up A-list star from twenty years ago.

You’d said goodnight and the next morning you showered and readied yourself for the day. This place was nicer than the motel you’d shared and you had some privacy.

Johnny Cage wasn’t easy to get a hold of, which had been a huge part of the problem. Apparently, they’d had to dance around agents and security and had gotten themselves thrown off of a movie set. Somehow, they had managed to convince him to meet with you the next morning and have an actual conversation about why you were there. You guessed that wasn’t going to go well after all you’d learned.

It also meant that you had some free time, a thing you had grown to hate over the years. Without Kung Lao you were left to your own devices and it almost never went well. Now you had a thousand more horrible things to think about.

You’d stopped Liu that morning after you’d decided you would play tourist. You and Kung Lao had always joked about going to Hollywood and you remembered a few of the places he’d said he’d wanted to see. With your sudden passion for taking photographs, you thought it would appropriate. But Liu was in a mood again and you weren’t about to ask him why.

You’d woken up feeling relatively okay that morning and weren’t about to change that.

If Liu needed to be alone to get out of his mood, then you would let him. Every time he’d been in a mood like that, you had wound up yelling at each other and you were not emotionally prepared to handle his frustration. You were both too volatile.

So, you went sight-seeing. The Hollywood sign had been far less remarkable than you’d expected but you took pictures anyway. The La Brea Tarpits had been nice but you wished you hadn’t been alone. You’d tried to think of how Kung Lao would have reacted but it only served to make you sad. You supposed that alone was your new state of being and you’d have to get used to it. There had been a time where alone was all you’d known, and you had been more than comfortable with it.

It would take a long time to get back to that if you ever managed to. You took to imagining that maybe you would show these pictures to Kung Lao someday. You knew that wasn’t possible, but he would have wanted to see them and hear all about your adventures. That was heartbreaking in and of itself, but it did give you a new purpose as you traveled throughout Hollywood. It wasn’t often that you got to play tourist in new places. you had always talked about going there together just to see the Chinese Theater and the Walk of Fame. He’d wanted to take a picture with Bruce Lee’s star.

Then you sat and people watched on Hollywood Boulevard, wondering what their lives must be like. Some were obvious tourists. You liked to think that their visiting the Walk of Fame was a fulfillment of a lifelong dream. Others were on their way to work or just living their lives, not bothering with the star-studded walkway as though it were nothing more than a gateway from where they were to where they were going. None of them were wrong but it was nice to focus on the lives of others rather than the mess that was yours.

You browsed through the photos that you’d taken that morning. You’d asked a stranger to take a picture of you next to Bruce Lee’s star and smiled at the photograph. Kung Lao would have loved that.

You’d both been fans of old martial arts films and no one was more iconic than Bruce Lee.

After dating for a few months, you and Kung Lao had taken to sneaking out to the closest towns and renting rooms in motels and inns just so you could watch those movies together. You’d continued that tradition throughout the entirety of your relationship up until the last six months. Things had gotten sticky and confusing then. You’d both been busy and had fought more than usual. You’d been thinking about suggesting a weekend away after you’d gotten back from your trip so that you could touch base and figure things out.

So much for that.

You should have suggested it earlier.

The past was the past, you reminded yourself.

You couldn’t let it get to you no matter how it felt like a dagger twisting in your chest each time you thought about what you should have done. Rubbing your sore and tired eyes, you put the phone into your bag and closed your eyes, listening to the monotony of humanity passing by.

In one of those hotels was where you and Kung Lao had your first time. You’d been watching Enter the Dragon, discussing the importance of the role, and your experiences first seeing the movie in your childhood. You still remembered how his lips felt- soft and sticky, sweet and fermented with the flavor of the plum wine you’d been sharing.

You’d ignored the movie and made out instead, like giddy teenagers. You’d been the one to push him further. Kung Lao had asked you if you were certain which had been sweet. It had broken the floodgates.

He had certainly tried before then- many times. He’d never been subtle about it and he’d never pushed you beyond your limit though he did try to push his luck. When you told him no, he always listened and had never once made you feel guilty about it. You had been grateful for his patience then. Holding your head in your hands you sighed.

Even your fondest memories of him were tainted with sadness. You wondered if there would ever only be fondness and no sorrow attached to thoughts of him. Realistically you knew that there would be but for now it felt improbable. The photos you’d taken that day brought you a little peace. It had been kind of cathartic to do something in Kung Lao’s honor rather than fixating on the only piece of him you had left while drenched in guilt for a thousand different reasons.

Sleeping with his best friend was at the very top of that list.

At least you hadn’t done it while you’d been dating. What a tiny, tiny sad silver lining that was on your sad, shitty story.

“Y/N? Is that you?” An unfamiliar voice called your name so you sat alert. That was upsetting. To be called out by a voice you had never heard in the middle of your contemplation. A tall, well-built, handsome man approached you. He had a kind smile and what you could only describe as 90s protagonist hair. “This must be weird. Sorry. I’m Cole Young.” He held his hand out to introduce himself and you shook it but were cautious. As if sensing that you didn’t trust him, he pulled down the collar of his shirt to show you the dragon marking on his chest. That was proof enough.

“Sorry, you startled me. I was lost in my own little world.” You offered for him to take the seat across from you at the table you’d been occupying at a little bistro. You’d bought food but had given it away. Your appetite hadn’t been the best the past few days. Thinking about Kung Lao or Liu Kang for extended periods did away with any hunger you had. “It’s nice to meet you finally. I will be honest and say I haven’t heard much about you. I don’t think many personal stories were swapped with the company I keep. I did hear, however, that you are a nice enough man.”

“That’s the best I can hope for. I didn’t hear much about you either. Raiden showed me what you looked like and I knew you and Liu were supposed to arrive soon.” He took the seat you offered and for a time you swapped pleasantries. He was nice, as advertised, but you hadn’t been expecting socialization so you felt awkward. “What brings you to this part of town, Y/N?” He asked when things fell silent. You’d expected him to say that it had been nice to meet you and go on his way. Instead, he insisted upon more small talk. He seemed bored.

“Doing some sightseeing. Taking some pictures for a friend.” You weren’t sure why you felt the need to justify your motives but you’d been instantly defensive. Liu Kang had made you defensive about everything. Kung Lao would have called you out on it and you smiled at the memory. “What about you?”

“Sightseeing with the family. Allison and Emily are doing some window shopping. I spotted you and was tired of shopping so I figured I’d say hi.” He laughed. Presumably, Allison and Emily were his wife and child. He hadn’t clarified but you’d been told he had family. “Thanks for the escape.” That explained why he’d seemed bored.

“Anytime.” Silence again. You were terrible at conversation right now. You felt outside of yourself. You weren’t ready to talk casually about nothing. “It’s nice to finally meet you. You’re as lovely as everyone said you were. Well, Raiden didn’t use those words exactly but I’ve been around him long enough to understand what he meant.”

“He has a way about him, Raiden.” Cole chuckled, leaning back in his chair. The breeze felt nice and the silence less awkward. “Is the friend you’re taking pictures for Kung Lao?”

You stiffened up and were sure that your expression was suddenly unpleasant. It was too late to hide your gut reaction- tongue over your bottom teeth, lips turned in a frown, eyes closed in frustration. Not an attractive look and definitely not one that would disguise how off guard you’d been taken by the question and how inappropriately personal it was.

He’d known Kung Lao too. The scar on his arm was from his hat. You’d been told in detail much of Kung Lao’s last few days thanks to Raiden.

“Too personal??” Cole winced apologetically.

“It’s okay.”

“He seemed like the kind of guy who would enjoy this.”

“He was. And yes, I was taking pictures for him. He would have wanted to see it.” He would have wanted to be there with you was what you meant, but you were sure Cole got that. He seemed like a smart enough guy. He nodded and silence fell again.

“I’m sorry.” He was avoiding your eyes this time.

“For what?”

“I feel responsible. He was protecting me. He was safe. Gone. He came back to protect me.” Cole had proven to you quickly that he was, in fact, a good man.

“No, Cole.” You scooted to the end of your seat. “Kung Lao made a choice to protect you. He wouldn’t want you to take the blame for what happened.”

“Liu Kang said the same thing.”

“I’m not surprised.” Exhaustion washed over you like a cold wave, tingling down your spine. Grief weighed heavily on your shoulders.

“How are you holding up? With all of this?” Cole gestured to nothing in particular. “It’s not easy to get back to normal after this. Even for me.”

“You seem like a nice guy, Cole, but I don’t know you and this is a very intimate conversation you’ve started.” You began to let him down gently. You weren’t comfortable talking about this with people you’d known for years so you definitely weren’t comfortable talking to a complete stranger about it.

“I get it. I just… wanted to check in.”

“I’m okay.” You assured him and when he didn’t seem to believe you, you smiled and continued. “I’ll be honest and vague. I’ll tell you what I tell everyone who asks me about it. It doesn’t get easier. I carry it better some days than others. People keep telling me that time brings distance but I’m not there yet. Despite that, I’m okay. Really.”

“I’m sorry.” He really did seem like a nice guy. “It’s hard to lose someone you care about.”

“It is.” You weren’t going to talk about it with him. You didn’t want to talk about it with anyone. You were tired of thinking about it. You thought about it constantly. “Can you fill me in on what’s going on with this actor?” A change of subject had to help.

“Oh, yeah.” Cole rolled his eyes and you laughed in surprise. “The only reason he’s even agreed to meet with us is because Sonya pinned one of his bodyguards when he tried to have us removed. He had a very brief conversation with us that was mostly inappropriate comments at Sonya’s expense. When I tried to explain to him what the dragon mark meant he said something about being a weird pitch for a movie. Still, he’s agreed to meet with us again so that’s something.” Cole sighed as though this had been a long and frustrating process. “I’m hoping that Liu can be more convincing. His arcana is impressive and might get him listening.”

“He’s good at that.” You considered that he hadn’t been over the last week. “I can help if need be. I can make a pretty dramatic first impression if I need to.”

“No one told me about your arcana.” Cole rested his elbows on his knees, hands clasped together. This was a much more comfortable and relaxed conversation. Far less awkward, thankfully. “I asked Liu this morning when I ran into him but he was touchy when I brought it up.”

“Not surprised by that.”

“Yeah?” Cole’s curiosity was funny. You were reminded of a few of your monk friends back at Raiden’s Temple. When you’d first arrived there had been nothing but gossip. He was just making polite conversation, but it was still a little funny.

“Nothing you need to worry about.”

“What’s your arcana, then?”

“It’s easier to show you. Everyone gets the wrong impression when I tell them. And to show you? I need privacy.” You gestured down the block. “Is that okay?”

“Sure. Allison’s going to call me when they’re done.” Cole stood. You left a tip with the server and then walked with Cole down the street and into an alleyway between shops. You were still at risk of being seen but you would be careful. No one would believe what they saw anyway. “So?”

“Now I just need you to promise not to panic.” You laughed and backed a little bit away from him so you were facing toward the street and could keep an eye out for passersby.

“Why would I panic?”

You decided it was better to just show him than explain. It rarely made sense without showing it off anyway. You stepped back and studied Cole which elicited an eyebrow raise from him. Then you gestured with your index finger from the ground up. You created an ink copy of Cole. He stepped back from it in surprise so you made the clone mimic his movements.

These clones were easy enough to create but, in the beginning, it had been mostly on accident of either Kung Lao or Liu Kang since that was who you had spent the most time with. One of your first fights with Kung Lao had been about how your arcana always became Liu Kang when you panicked. There hadn’t ever been any resolution to it. The mimicked ‘drawings’ as you referred to them behaved in ways that you were familiar with but not knowing Cole, you studied him and copied his current motions.

The drawings drained you faster than creating inanimate objects would which was why you didn’t do it very often. But this trick was easy enough to give Cole an idea of what you could do. He looked to you for affirmation and you nodded. He then readied his stance for a fight so you mimicked him. Then he laughed and jumped from foot to foot and pointed at the ink version of him doing the same. “You can just do that? With anyone?”

“Among other things. This is the trick that freaks people out the most though.”

“So, your arcana is what? Cloning?

“Ink.” You corrected and with a snap of your fingers the drawing was gone and instead you used your forefinger to write his name in Chinese in the air. “It was Liu’s ideas to use it for mimicry. Kung Lao suggested weapons. Both have been pretty useful but keeping up the… for lack of a better word, puppets, is much more work. Liu would make things out of flame and I would mimic it with my ink until one day I accidentally mimicked him.”

“Accidentally?”

“Yeah. I’d gotten so familiar with him during training that instead of the fire, the ink became Liu Kang. After that we focused on drawing more specific things.” You drew a jian with a simple slap of your palms together. The weapons and shadows had once dripped with ink. You’d been using them for years now and so they didn’t look like ink anymore. They looked more like black crystal. “I’m pretty good at it these days.”

“I’d say.” Cole laughed and then pulled his phone from his pocket as if he’d gotten a message. “Well, if Liu can’t convince this guy to take us seriously then you can have him kick his own ass.”

“Guess I’m going to have to watch one of his movies so I can be familiar with him.” Maybe you’d do that tonight at the hotel.

“Hey, Ally and Emily want to grab a bite to eat. Do you want to join us? You’re welcome to.” Cole gestured back out to the street and you followed him. Your instinct was to say no. To go back to your hotel room and isolate yourself but that was your sadness talking. This was an opportunity. A choice. You could go back to your room and wallow in your misery or you could join Cole and his family and get to know them a bit better.

Distance yourself a little from the misery.

“I’d like that.” You decided and Cole smiled brightly.

“Good!” You followed Cole down the street to meet up with his wife and daughter. Every bit of your brain was objecting to the fact that you’d agreed but you knew it was the right thing to do. Kung Lao would have never let you wallow the way that you were. He would have dragged you out of bed and either tried to fix what was bothering you or distract you. There was nothing Kung Lao or anyone could do to fix this but if you at least tried to get out of your head then you might just help yourself.

Next Chapter >>

[princessmariaphiliper]

THE SLEEPOVER FIC | Part 4 The Snake Eyes

Notes: Alcohol consumption and homelessness dialogue warning, and shit innuendos, with cheeky grinning, mostly me trying to remember how Cluedo works

Pairing: James Acaster x Reader 

Genre: Fluff with eventual smut, Slow Burn fic

Words: 1,937

Summary: You and James have put yourselves into trouble, but you think maybe it’s hotter that way. 

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6 / Part 7 / Part 8 /  Part 9

You were blushing so much you could feel it on the base of your feet. The game of Cluedo had begun some time ago but you were finding it difficult to focus on the murder at hand rather than James. He’d dished you all up a bowl ice cream and was idly digging into his own. To you each time he dragged the spoon up and parted his lips felt like a lifetime. He was even occasionally darting out his tongue to reach any that had melted down the handle.

“I think it's Plum.” James spoke, switching eye contact between you and Ed. Tilting his head he raised an eyebrow in a playful manner.

“And what brings you to the conclusion James?” Ed called on his bluff, James’s face now twisting to hold back a grin.

“No reason”

“Well I think we know who has Plum then”

“Or do we?” James pulled a face again before taking another spoonful of ice cream. You’d hardly touched your own, feeling awkward, hot and bothered. You and Ed had also moved onto your floor now to reach the board easier. Ed taking your beanbag as you remembered he hated sitting on the floor. Your legs were stretched out beside James’s own. Just then he wiggled into the living room floor, placing his elbows casually on the coffee table, one leg crossed over the other. As he did so his thigh made accidental contact with your calf. Your own leg locked in its position, too anxious to move it away in case you rubbed into him again.

“Y/n?” Ed pulled you from your nervous trance.

“Hmm?” You questioned, looking over at him with confusion, not realising until now that you’d clenched your teeth from nerves.

“It's your turn” He paused with concern on his face “Are you okay? You look a little red. And you’ve not touched your ice cream”

“Oh, I’m just feeling a little weird, it's the wine I think.”

“Do you want a glass of water or something?”

“Um yeah, if you would.” You thought some H2O might help to calm you down a little. Ed left the room to go get you the water, you listened out as he clattered around in the kitchen.

“You okay?” James asked, placing a hand on your leg in a comforting manner. “Do you want us to head off soon?”

“I’m okay really, I don't mind you guys staying, it's not too late yet. I’ll be fine in a few”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah I’m just having a moment I think.”

James began rubbing his thumb slowly across your leg in a laid-back manner. Occasionally making contact with the bare skin between your jeans and socks. It stunned you at first, but in a way you were enjoying it. You couldn’t tell if it was working you up or shifting your attention to more innocent thoughts about him.

“Thank you�� You said, for both his concern and reassurance.

“Say that again?” James teased smiling devilishly at you.

“James,” You laughed back.

“And that.” He hinted, bringing you back to your own sickening desire for him as Ed entered the room. James didn’t remove his hand from your leg, merely moving it further from your ankle under the table where Ed couldn’t see. The movement although innocent had you wonder of its underlying meaning. Ed put down the glass on a coaster for you, returning to his place. You and James made eye contact for a while before you eventually broke the silence. 

“Thanks Ed”

You felt James’s eyes on you as you took a sip from your water, flicking between your mouth hand. You felt some sort of unspoken tension growing between you, unbeknownst to Ed. You rolled the dice, gaining snake eyes. Getting you nowhere, but perhaps gaining you a spiritual sign that James was watching you intently. You gracefully moved your red playing piece by two squares and took another sip of your water. James’s thumb had stopped its slow up and down movement sometime ago and had now resumed to circular motion, making it difficult to swallow. He seemed to notice, smirking knowingly while striking up a conversation again.

“I think Y/n did it.”

“You think everyone’s done it.”

“Can't be wrong then can I?”

“Shut up,”

“It's your turn I can't make a guess Ed” You reminded him.

“You rolled a double,”

“Oh yeah sorry.”

“Must have got distracted” James commented casually, causing you to have to withhold a smile. The cheeky bastard.

“Yeah by your shit chatting” You piped back before Ed interrupted the two of you.

“Okay kids calm down, no fighting at the table. Y/n roll again”

You rolled your eyes with a smiling, James doing the same. You rolled, this time gaining a three and a six, allowing you to move into the study. Not having that room filled you decided to take a guess. Might as well, 

“Can I guess?”

“If you want”

“Okay.” You looked at your paper intently, you already knew the weapon, and you had a fifty fifty chance of it being Peacock or Mustard. You were being drawn to Mustard for the most part though. “I’m saying Mustard in the study. With the candlestick.”

“Shit.” Ed said with annoyance, obviously having known for quite some time now but attempting secretly to make his way towards the study. You took out the envelope at the centre of the board. Slowly pulling them out to check if you had guessed correctly. Satisfaction growing as you read each card before placing them upwards on the table. Indicating your success and subsequent winning of the game.

After a while of chatting around the finished game the three of you had put on some music to help fill the room with more than just your own voices. You were listening to Paolo Nutini on shuffle, enjoying a pleasant conversation. Some time ago ‘Scream’ had begun playing, it being one of your favourites you sang along to the lyrics.

“And it’s awful how people just sit there and let shit, happen to them. You’ll be walking down the street just watching them all being ignored.” Ed continued on the topic of homelessness.

“I read a statistic a few years ago that said for every ten people in 2010 there are more than twenty-four now.”

“Yeah, and people forget that its not them at all, it’s just a situation that for the most part they’ve been forced into. Its sad how willing people are to overlook that really.”  

“And the government do piss all.” James added, taking a swig of his wine.

“I’ll drink to that.” You replied.

“God people are shit aren’t they.” Ed sighed out, filling the room with a pregnant pause before he chuckled, “How did we get onto this topic?”

“Not a clue mate”

“I think I blacked out half an hour ago.” You joked, gaining a laugh from the two of them. James’s hand was still on you, he had however made his way to rest naturally on your knee now. Occasionally giving it a gentle squeeze when he began speaking passionately. He’d even replaced his hand (as you’d hoped he would) after you had taken a trip to the bathroom. Pushing your leg against his as it had been before he smiled shyly as Ed wasn’t watching. There was some kind of an inaudible agreement that this was okay from the both of you. However, it didn’t stop the waves of guilt whenever Ed mentioned his own wife, reminding you that James was still in fact in a relationship. And although you knew it was fizzled, it still didn’t make you feel good. But it sure as shit felt right. Not wanting to think about it any further you tuned back into the music that was playing. Candy had begun not so long ago.

“It gets held against my name. I know you’ve got plenty to offer baby but I guess I’ve taken quite enough.” You sang quietly swaying your head. “While I’m stained here on your bed sheets you’re my diamond in the rough”

You all listened contently, James even closing his eyes and smiling as the guitar overtook the lyrics.

“God what a beautiful album” He said eventually. Bringing the two of you to the real world again.

“It is.”

“It changed my life.” You said with honesty to no one in particular. James pulling you up on it.

“Yeah?”

“Hmm, you know everyone has that collection albums that they define their life with.”

“Sure”

“Its just amazing, the rise and fall you go through while listening to it. One minute you’re in a field of flowers the next you’re in your Uni mates garden getting high. Its one of those I always pull up for every mood.” You caught yourself speaking for too long, suddenly a little self-conscious of oversharing.

“I love it,” James smiled, leaning back on his free hand, resting his head into his shoulder. Finding yourself caught off guard by his words you looked away from him and towards Ed who was checking his phone for the time.

“Ah shit,” He spoke slowly, “Half ten, I better get going home, Claire should be back from dinner too now.”

“Okay, well it has been lovely having you.”

“No no thanks for hosting. Cheeseboard was divine Y/n” Doing a little chef kiss with his hand, he began to stand up slowly. “Do you want to grab the tube together James?”

Looking at James you now realised he’d been staring at you for quite some time. He blinked with surprise to the mention of his name.

“Um yeah sure, I’ll just get my coat”

“Don’t rush I need to use the loo anyways first, that okay Y/n?”

“Sure knock yourself out mate”

As Ed left the room James patted your knee lightly, standing and sighing with a smile. Chamber music had begun playing now, and you found yourself rising with him, ready to see your guests out. He made his way around the table and towards the doorway, you following.

“Well.” He spoke with a smile, “It’s been lovely to see you again.”

“With the opportunity of memory.”

“Yeah,” You watched him bite his lip shyly, sucking in a breath. “We should do this again sometime?”

His statement came out as more of a question, hoping you understood his meaning, you gave him a gentle nod as you heard your toilet flush.

“Defiantly”  

Ed made his way over from the bathroom, you held open the door for the two of them.

“Thanks again Y/n! I’ll come over again sometime next week for a bit?” Ed called out, giving you a smile as he began heading down the corridor. James hung back for a moment as you shouted a ‘Sure’ in response to Ed. He watched Ed unreadably with his lips pressed together until Ed was fully facing the other way. 

He gently took your hand in his then, leaning in to give you a soft kiss on the corner of your cheek. Your body froze with shock by the sudden affection, yet soon a smile formed in a dimple. His lips felt determined, the kiss now presenting itself with a giddy charm. He pulled back an inch, so his breath caressed your face.

“Bye” was all he said before dropping your hand and flashing you a cheeky grin. Turning and catching up with Ed down the corridor. Too stunned to say anything you watched them disappear into the stairwell in silence. Eventually you shut the door, turning back into your empty apartment, not fully sure of what had just happened. But one hundred percent grateful that it had.

[moldisgoodforyou]

lost time (chapter eight)

MASTERLIST

pairing: rafe cameron x oc

warning: cursing

wordcount: 4.2k it’s been a while buckle up 

gif from @poguemackin​

_

Rafe showed up to class on Monday with more nerves than he ever had, unsure of what Sophie’s reaction would be. After having a long heart-to-heart with James and Colin (though he would never call it that), he had come to terms that maybe, just maybe, he liked Sophie Flint more than a friend. He was determined to try, telling himself he would be patient when she would try to argue like always and that he would give it a chance. For once. 

Sophie didn’t seem to get the memo. 

She barely greeted him, only offering a half-smile when she sat next to him - unusually late, only there one minute until class was meant to start. “Running late today?” Rafe elbowed her with a grin.

“Guess so.” She shrugged, head down as she started scrawling into her notebook while their professor started teaching.

He frowned, caught off guard by her cold demeanor, given that they were cuddled together in a bed just under 48 hours ago. “Just teasing, Soph.”

She nodded, keeping her eyes down. “I know.” 

The rest of the class continued like that, Rafe resisting every single urge in his body to tear off a piece of paper and slide her a note. (She’d probably find it annoying, and it wasn’t middle school, anyways.) At the end of class, she didn’t even bother to pack her bag, just gathered her things into her arms and hurriedly left before he even had a second to say goodbye. As promised, he met James to walk to their next class together, looking completely lost. 

“How’d it go?” James asked Rafe with a grin, reaching out to knuckle his fist against Rafe’s hair. 

Rafe ducked out from under him and shoved his arm away, scowling. “Not good. She barely even looked at me, let alone talked to me.” 

“Oh.” James frowned. “Maybe she was just tired? It is kind of early.” 

“Nah, she at least smiles at me. Or have some smart comeback and she didn’t even try today.” Rafe rubbed the back of his neck, thinking about how she avoided him. 

“Huh. Text her and see if she’s okay.” James urged. 

“She probably wouldn’t like that.” Rafe hesitated, but took out his phone anyways. “I don’t want her to think I’m annoying.” 

“Then wait and text her later today. It’ll be fine, dude, don’t stress about it.” 

“I’m not stressed!” Rafe argued. 

James rolled his eyes and grabbed Rafe’s wrist, not letting go when Rafe objected and shoved up his sleeve. He inspected the peeling leather on Rafe’s watch band and dropped his arm, shaking his head. “You scratch up the leather on this when you’re stressed out. And those are new marks.” 

Rafe yanked his sleeve back down over the watch. “I didn’t think you picked up on that.” 

“Well Colin pointed it out first, but now I notice whenever you do it.” James shrugged. “It’s Sophie. She’ll come around.” 

“How are you so sure about this?” 

James shrugged again. “Like we said yesterday. You two are like, magnetic or some shit. There’s no way it won’t work out.” 

_ 

“He didn’t say a single thing to me all class!” Sophie exclaimed the second she walked through the door, huffing as the door slammed shut behind her. 

Both Allie and Julia lifted their heads from their work at their desks, completely unfazed by her loud entrance. She had recapped the events of the night (that she could remember, at least) yesterday morning over brunch, several mimosas, and they both had to talk her down from marching over to the Delt house right that second and asking for answers from Rafe. 

“Not one thing?” Julia asked, skeptical. 

Sophie flopped down dramatically onto the beanbag in the corner. “Well, okay, maybe a few things, but that was it. It’s like he didn’t even try.” 

Allie raised her eyebrows and shut her laptop. “What exactly did he say, Soph?” 

“He asked if I was running late, because, you know, I showed up later -” 

“So you wouldn’t have to talk to him.” Julia pointed out. 

“Only because he didn’t text me at all!” Sophie cried out, shooting a pointed glare her way. “And then he said he was just teasing and that was it.” 

“Did you give him room to respond?” Allie asked gently, trying to get her to see through her flawed logic. 

Sophie huffed, crossing her arms. “Probably.” 

“Oh, probably, that’s a solid answer.” Julia rolled her eyes. “Look, do you want something with him or not?” 

“I…” Sophie faltered, thinking. “I mean, maybe, but not if he can’t even text me after we slept together.” 

“Well how big is he?” Julia grinned. 

Allie reached across the desk, swatting her arm. “Jules!”

“What?!” 

Sophie groaned, covering her face as a blush bloomed on her cheeks. “I don’t even know, guys, I told you I can’t remember anything after we got back to his house. I just remember trying to kiss him and then I woke up in his t-shirt.” She gasped. “Oh my god.” 

“What’s wrong?” Julia frowned. 

“What if I was that bad? Oh god, what if I was genuinely so terrible that he literally never wants to talk to me again? I can’t really walk when I’m drunk, so I’m probably not even good at fucking -” 

“Stop, stop!” Allie laughed, throwing a pencil at her from across the room. “I don’t want to hear the details. Are you even sure you hooked up?” 

“Yeah, why else would I be wearing his shirt?” Sophie reasoned. Her phone chimed and she froze, holding it up. “It’s Rafe. Should I open it?” 

“Yes, stupid, open the text!” Julia exclaimed, scooting her chair closer to see the phone. 

“Be nice!” Sophie scowled, unlocking her phone - and her jaw dropped. “Oh no.” 

“You are so dramatic.” Allie giggled, walking over to see. “What’d he say?” 

“Um...I might have made a mistake.” Sophie groaned, turning her phone to show two texts from Rafe yesterday, and one that had just been sent. 

Rafe, 8:30am Sunday: Everything okay? You didn’t need to leave

Rafe, 4pm Sunday: Hope you’re feeling alright today

Rafe, 10:15 Monday: Are you okay? 

Julia snorted. “Way to leave him on read, Soph.” 

“Jules.” Allie chided, frowning. 

“This is bad, isn’t it.” Sophie bit her lip, embarrassed. 

“It doesn’t look great.” Allie admitted. “But hey! He still checked in on you just now! You can make up for ignoring him.” 

“It wasn’t on purpose!” Sophie defended, already typing back a message. 

“Wait, don’t look too eager.” Julia tried grabbing at the phone and Allie swatted her hands away.

“Don’t listen to her, you’ve been playing hard to get for two and a half years. Eager is fine.”

Sophie paused, glancing between the two of her friends, then sent the text. “Al, if I regret this, I’m blaming you.”

Allie rolled her eyes. “I’d expect nothing less.”

After a moment’s pause with bated breath, her phone chimed again and she grinned, turning the phone away to hide the screen. “Okay, okay, you two can go back to studying.” 

Julia laughed, moving away with Allie. “Don’t forget to be nice for once.” 

“Yeah, yeah.” Sophie stuck out her tongue at Julia, but smiled anyways.

Sophie: yeah I’m good, just tired. sorry I didn’t see your other two texts

Rafe: I was beginning to think you were ignoring me haha

Sophie: no of course not 

Rafe: Good

Rafe: Do you want to come study at the house tomorrow night? We can be in the formal room it just seems silly to go all the way to the library when we live so close 

Sophie: what do we have to study for? 

Rafe: Tomorrow’s Tuesday, did you forget about our running study date lol 

Sophie: date huh 

Rafe: You know what I mean

Sophie: yes I’d love to come over, I’ll see you at the same time 

Once Rafe got Sophie’s final reply, he liked the message then let out a sigh of relief. He hadn’t paid attention to a single thing in his economics lecture, focusing more on texting Sophie and her responses. As their professor dismissed the class, Rafe shut his laptop with a grin, turning to Colin. “Can I -”

“Yes, you can have my notes.” Colin rolled his eyes, walking out with Rafe. “You texting Sophie the whole time?” 

“Yeah, she replies slow - wait, how’d you know?” 

Colin laughed. “You were grinning like an idiot at your computer during the whole lecture, and you hate this class.” 

“Oh.” Rafe tried his best to fight the smile on his face, then shrugged. “We have a date tomorrow.” 

“Really, you actually asked her out? Good on you, man,” Colin said.

“Well.” Rafe hedged, rubbing his neck. “Not exactly. She’s just coming over for when we usually study for our class together.”

Colin groaned and shoved Rafe’s arm. “That’s not a date, idiot. Do better.” 

“I gotta take it slow!” Rafe protested.

“You’ve had your time taking it slow. Make a real move for once.” Colin said, shaking his head. 

_ 

Sophie showed up to the Delt house dressed a little nicer than usual, just enough so Rafe would notice, in a sweater and a skirt. She was more nervous than ever, fidgeting with the ends of her hair as she waited on the front porch. Rafe hustled down the stairs the second he got her text, greeting her at the door with a huge grin. “Soph, hey!” He glanced over her appearance, immediately regretting his t-shirt and sweatpants attire. 

His grin put her at ease and she relaxed, following him into the house. “Got a hot date after this or something?” He teased, leading her to the formal room where a few other boys were out studying.

“And what if I do?” She challenged, taking a seat opposite him at a table.

He raised his eyebrows, trying his best to not show any sign of disappointment. “Do you?” 

She blushed a little but kept his gaze. “I - no. I had a presentation for class.” She lied, embarrassed she had even tried so hard.

“You look good.” Rafe paused. “Really good.”

Sophie bit back a smile, shaking her head a little. “Thank you. Um, we should study, I don’t want to keep you busy for too long.” She slid out her notebook, showing him a few pages of meticulous notes for their debate topic. 

His notes, albeit messy, rivaled hers. “You actually prepared.” She said, impressed as she flipped through the pages.

He frowned a little. “I’ve been prepared every time. I’m not gonna let you down, Soph.” The words held more meaning than just talking about the group project and she did her best to ignore it, nodding as she skimmed over his notebook.

She paused, finger on a small note scribbled in the margin. “You wrote down my coffee order?” 

Rafe blushed, embarrassed, and snagged back the notebook. “Well yeah, I had to remember it somehow.” 

“That’s sweet.” 

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. Less about us, more about the ethics of time travel.” He flipped to a fresh page, ready to take down more notes. The two kept up easy conversation for a while, not noticing the time passing as they worked. When Sophie realized she’d been there for over an hour and the conversation was still surprisingly dry, given what had transpired on Saturday, she reached across the table and snapped Rafe’s book shut. 

“Look, we should just talk about it.” 

“It?” Rafe repeated, raising his eyebrows cluelessly. 

“You know.” Sophie hinted, then huffed when he just looked more confused. “You’re gonna make me say it? Fine. Okay, since we slept together, you haven’t - what the fuck are you smiling for!” She scowled, crossing her arms. 

He was grinning ear-to-ear but leaned back in his chair, clearly amused. “Sorry, sorry go on.” 

“This isn’t funny, Cameron.” 

“That’s Mr. Cameron to you.” He teased. 

She ignored him, rolling her eyes. “Since we slept together you haven’t said a single thing about it. And whatever, I know I was drunk, but if I was really that bad -"

Rafe couldn’t keep the act up anymore and started cracking up, hardly able to keep eye contact. He doubled over, almost wheezing as he laughed.

“It’s not funny!” Sophie hissed, embarrassed as his loud laughter drew attention from boys walking by. 

He swiped his hand across his eyes, shaking his head as he let out a few more chuckles. “Soph, we didn’t sleep together. Not like that.” 

Sophie frowned and it was her turn to be confused. “Wait, what?” 

“You called me when you were drunk, I picked you up and you wanted to come back here, then you asked for clothes to change into to sleep.” A small blush crept up his neck and he looked a little shy. “Then, um, you asked me to come cuddle but I accidentally fell asleep when you did. And I woke up and you were gone.” 

She sat back in her chair, reeling as she processed this new information. “I didn’t sleep with you.”

“Not in anything other than the literal sense, no.” 

“Oh.” 

“See? Nothing to worry about. You were drunk, I wouldn’t have - you know. I just wanted you safe.”

At those words, she remembered him saying them that night. “And you practically saved my life.” 

Rafe paused. “Huh? I mean, you almost stepped out into traffic. But wait, you were hammered, how do you remember that?”

She rolled her eyes. “I remember practically everything even when I’m drinking, what do you mean?” 

“Practically everything…” he repeated, slowly. She could practically see the wheels turning in his head at her confession. His jaw dropped. “So you lied! About our first kiss!” 

“I...yeah.” Trapped in her lie, Sophie winced. “I don’t know why. I’m sorry, I just didn’t want you to think I go around letting just anyone kiss me when I’m drunk.” 

Rafe laughed, shaking his head. “You kissed me, Sophie Flint. Not the other way around.”

She scowled at the name. “Oh, not the full name now, you’re making it sound like I’m in trouble.”

He hesitated, glancing down at his notes before looking back up at her. “Why’d you lie?” 

“I was nervous.” She admitted, biting her lip. “Maybe I thought you’d think less of me or something, I don’t know.”

He softened, reaching out across the table to take her hand. She let him, brain fogging over as he rubbed gentle circles on the back of her hand with his thumb. “I’d never think that, Soph.”

She took a moment too long to reply, distracted by his touch. “Okay. Good.” 

“Should we finish?” He asked, not letting go of her hand.

She was the first to let go, reluctantly pulling her hand back to her book. “Yeah. Um.” Sophie blushed, flipping through a few pages randomly to give her a moment to think. “Page 54, yeah?” 

_

The second Rafe waved goodbye to Sophie and let the door shut behind her, James and Colin practically ambushed him in the foyer. They had been ‘studying’ in the corner of the formal room, not-so-subtly giving Rafe multiple winks and thumbs up from behind Sophie’s back as they tried eavesdropping on their entire conversation. James clapped Rafe on the shoulder, grinning. “Ask her out yet?” 

“No.” Rafe responded, still confused from their conversation. They had gotten nowhere, yet they had also gotten...somewhere? “I held her hand.” 

“For two seconds.” Colin rolled his eyes. 

“Still something!” James interjected, ever-positive. “But dude, if you want something, you actually have to make a move. Like…” He pretended to lean in with puckered lips and Rafe shoved his head away, rolling his eyes.

“I know, dude. I gotta take it slow.” 

“You keep saying that.” Colin pointed out. “When are you actually going to do something about it?”

Rafe scowled. “Get off my back.” 

_

She couldn’t do it. She really couldn’t. 

Every single bone in her body wanted to just give in, be nice to Rafe, see if they could be a thing. But that would require letting someone in, being vulnerable, and Rafe Cameron of all people was not who she could do that with. (At least that’s what she told herself.) She could feel herself falling for him, and that freaked her out. 

Their study dates had gone from once a week at the library to twice a week at the Delt house. Never at Theta, she wasn’t prepared for the rumors that would fly and hearing girls speculate about a possible relationship. The reality check for her came when Julia called her out for waking up early for class just so she could put on a little extra makeup or make sure her hair wasn’t just thrown in its usual ponytail. “If you like him, just say something.” Allie had encouraged her, trying to give her the push she needed.

Sophie resisted, as usual. “There’s nothing between us.” 

They really only needed thirty minutes, max, to knock out their prep for their debate class, but Sophie found herself stretching out the time to an hour and a half, sometimes two. Rafe never seemed to mind, eager to keep discussing the merits of their side of the debate and to just see that spark in her eyes for a little bit longer as she spoke about something she was passionate about. 

Today had to be different. She set a timer on her watch the second she stepped through the doors at Delt, following Rafe through to their usual study spot. Sophie told herself she was only allowed to stay the thirty minutes, nothing more, and keep the conversation strictly to work. Maybe even be a little mean, if she had to, to push him away again. (It always worked before.) 

“How was your day?” He greeted her with his signature grin and she visibly winced, already feeling herself cave. She sat across from him and glanced at her watch. Twenty-nine minutes. God. She could do that. 

“Fine.” She replied shortly, not reciprocating. 

He nodded, unaware, and tapped his foot nervously under the table. “That’s good. So I was thinking, if you wanted to, maybe, after studying -"

“I can’t.” She cut him off. “I can’t stay long, I’m busy. Let’s just get this done.” 

“Oh - oh. Okay. Sorry.” He apologized needlessly, rubbing the back of his neck.

“It’s whatever.” Sophie dismissed. “So I was thinking we focus our argument on these three main points…”

He tuned her out and just skimmed over the notebook she slid over to him, eyes tracing over the words but not truly reading any of them. Rejected. Huh. He didn’t even get the chance to get the words out, ask her to go get ice cream after. Maybe that would have been a stupid move anyways, considering it was the last week of October in Ohio and only forty degrees outside. Next time he’d think of a better plan, next time he’d -

“Rafe.” Sophie’s annoyed voice snapped him out of his reverie.

He jerked his head up. “Huh?”

She rolled her eyes. “God, were you even listening? Pay attention.”

He resisted a frown, halfway paying attention now as she spoke. Did he do something wrong? He thought they were getting along, flirty even. Maybe he misread the signs. “What’s up with you today?” He asked, more concerned than irritated. 

“Nothing.” 

“Are you sure? Because your attitude seems like something.” He couldn’t resist pressing her buttons, just once. 

“I don’t have an attitude. Just trying to get this stupid homework done.” She snapped back.

He raised his hands in defense, a little taken aback. “Whoa, chill. We can get it done, you don’t have to be rude.” 

Sophie softened, just a little, and glanced at her watch again. 23 minutes. Maybe she didn’t have to entirely be an asshole. “Right.”

Rafe held her gaze for a moment, as if trying to read the thoughts running through her mind. “Okay. So I was thinking…” They kept a somewhat civil conversation, strictly related to their class, though Rafe could tell something felt off. She didn’t have the usual teasing lilt in her tone and he was too nervous to even try his typical flirting - his hand grazing against hers, or a sly comment here and there. 

After a few minutes of reading together from a new article on Rafe’s laptop, he spoke up. “Hey, Soph -” he started with a hint of a frown. 

“Sophie.” She corrected, keeping her eyes trained on the computer. 

Rafe’s face fell flat and he pressed his lips together into a thin line, nodding once. “Never mind then.” 

“What is it?” 

“I said never mind.” He repeated, shaking his head. 

The rest of the time was fairly quiet as they scribbled out notes for their arguments, sharing a relevant piece of information every few minutes. 

“Why’d you choose architecture?” Rafe asked after a few moments of silence, both of them reading over their textbooks.

“Study, Rafe.” Sophie reprimanded him with a bored tone, keeping her eyes on her book ‘til she finished the page. He glanced over her expression, trying to decide if she was serious or not, then went back to his book. 

“I thought it was cool. I like seeing the way things work, how buildings are crafted. Everything has a purpose.” She spoke after a moment. 

He smiled. “That’s cool. I can tell you like it.”

“You hardly know me,” Sophie pointed out. 

(Not true. He could read her like a book after all these years, knowing exactly when she was about to snap. She could do the same.)

 He frowned, feeling her putting up a wall, her typical defense mechanism when she didn’t want to admit the truth. “I think I do.” He argued, keeping her gaze. She rolled her eyes and broke eye contact first, dropping her eyes back to her book. 

He sighed, quietly, and returned to pretending to read. 

Sophie broke the silence this time. “Why are you studying film?”

He looked up, a little surprised she was taking interest. “Uh…” he trailed off, trying to think of how best to phrase it. “Movies were always my escape. If my dad was busy with work, y’know, like usual, he’d just throw on a movie for me and my sisters.” He smiled, thinking back. “I’m pretty sure I have Hercules memorized by heart now.” 

“That’s cool. My favorite Disney movie was Robin Hood.” Sophie mused, scribbling a couple notes in the margins of her book. She tried her best to keep an impassive composure, although she wanted nothing more inside than to spend hours just talking about his interests and seeing the way he beamed when she was interested too. 

“I never really liked him. Didn’t he steal from people?” 

“Not really, he stole from the tax collector and gave the money to the poor people.” She pointed out. 

“Oh.” Rafe paused, not sure if he wanted to continue the argument. “System’s in place for a reason, right?” 

Sophie wrinkled her nose, annoyance creeping into her tone. There was something about his indifference that made her just want to reach across the table and shake some sense into him. “Not when the government is creating an illegitimate tax system.” 

He shrugged. “Dunno. Guess I never watched that closely.” 

“Well I’m right, anyways.” She declared, lifting her chin a little in a challenge. 

“It doesn’t matter anyways, Flint, it’s a cartoon.” Rafe replied, slightly exasperated. There it was - back to last names. For some reason, it made Sophie madder than ever. She hated the way it rolled off his tongue so easily, like he knew her by nothing else. 

“It does matter, Cameron, it’s the principle of the thing.” She turned up her nose haughtily toward him, crossing her arms. She knew she was doing exactly what she shouldn’t do, chipping away at their already rocky relationship built on a foundation of uneven stone. “But I’m not surprised you wouldn’t care.” 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” He retorted, mimicking her pose from across the table. 

“It means you’re a dick. Always relying on daddy’s money.” Sophie stood her ground, jaw set. The way she said it, it was too sure, too carefully crafted to hit just where it’d hurt. Casual, almost, as if it meant nothing to say that. Like she’d been waiting to use that line for ages. 

That stung more than he expected, even though he’d heard it before - just not from her lips. He shot his response back quickly, too quickly, and regretted the words the second they left his mouth. “At least I don’t have to work two jobs just to pay for college.” 

Her face turned to stone as she felt the heat creeping up her neck, threatening to expose her embarrassment. Sophie gathered her things quickly, carelessly shoving them into her backpack, then paused before leaving to look him straight in the eye. “That’s fucking low, Rafe, even for you.” She said quietly. The words hung in the air between them as she turned sharply on her heel and strode calmly away, trying to beat the tears on the verge of spilling over her cheeks. 

Her watch vibrated on her wrist just as she stepped outside, hot tears welling up in her eyes. Thirty minutes. Timed perfectly.

taglist: @obx-saltlife​ @dontjinx-it @butgilinsky @oopsiedoopsie23 @taiter-tots @annedub​ @alexandracheers

[cakejots]

this is us trying, Chapter 3 - The Decision

In this AU, they don’t know each other outside of the suit. And in this AU, Ladybug and Chat Noir love each other. But in this AU, Chat doesn’t want their identities revealed.

Written for @ladynoirjuly 2021

notes: this is a coherent story based on all the prompts; each chapter contains at least 3 prompts

Ch 1 | Ch 2 | Ch 3 | Ch 4 | Ch 5 | Ch 6 | Ch 7 | Ch 8 | Ch 9 | Ch 10

Read on AO3

8. Admiration

Ladybug shifted from her spot at the top of Notre Dame’s North Tower, awaiting Chat’s arrival. The time it took to get in contact with him again wasn’t very long, but it was longer than the intervals between their dates. She understood that he has his own life to live, and sometimes, their schedules just really couldn’t match up. But for this time, in particular, she couldn’t help but feel that he was avoiding her.

Was it really a coincidence that he got especially busy right after he left her alone on that rooftop? She didn’t know.

Even though Ladybug had arrived 15 minutes earlier, she had that irrational fear that he wouldn’t turn up. She knew Chat wasn't like that, he always keeps his word. But she couldn’t help it, the possibility that their relationship could take a turn for the worse frightened her.

Luckily, before her thoughts could spiral out of control, Chat landed a few metres away from her.

Relief flooded her chest as Chat slowly stood from his crouched position. She was about to run over and throw her arms around him when his words stopped her.

“I’m really sorry for what I’ve done that day.” Chat wasn’t at his full height, his body posture was humbled and he was rubbing his hands.

“What I did was horrible, and I’ve no excuse for the way I treated you that day.” He had his head lowered and his eyes glimpsed at her ever so often, to see if she was listening to him. “I understand if you want to walk away, I just hope you’ll forgive me.”

Her eyes harden, posture standing even taller than before. Ladybug eyed him. This was the second time he had talked about her leaving him.

“I’m not going to walk away, Chat.” Her eyes softened as he flinched from her sudden rush of words. “But I’ll be lying if I said that didn’t hurt. I just want to know why it happened.”

Tears filled his green eyes as he fixed them on hers. His face held a sombre expression, as though it physically hurt him to be saying those next words.

“My lady,” he pleaded with a voice thick of desperation. “Forgive me, I promise I’ll tell you one day. Just… I can’t— not now…”

Ladybug sighed.

“Please know that,” he quickly rushed to her and embraced her tightly. “I didn’t regret giving you that kiss! Never.”

Ladybug raised her arms and tightened her grip on him as he trembled.

“Thank you for your assurance, Chaton.” She pulled back and surveyed his face. “I’m aware that this is a bit insensitive, but could you wait here for 5 minutes? I’m just going to get some stuff.”

Chat grew uneasy. To be alone on a cool night? He was reasonably unsettled, especially after what had confronted him just moments ago. Ladybug said she wouldn’t walk away, but now she’s asking him to stay here? How could he not be worried?

“Just 5 minutes,” her fingers grazed his face. “I promise you’ll enjoy our date even more after I bring those things here.”

He should trust her. He knows he could trust her. After all, she had said she wouldn't leave. It happened once, it can happen again.

“We can call each other while I’m—“

“It’s okay, my lady.” He pulled back and smiled. “I’ll see you in 5 minutes.”

Ladybug wasn’t convinced that he’s okay, but she gave him a peck on the cheek to ease his doubts. “I’ll be back before you know it!”

And true to her words, she came back in 3 minutes, with two pillows, a thick blanket, and a laptop in her arms.

Chat eyed them quizzingly.

“We, are going to get comfortable and watch montages of ourselves!” She sat beside him, the Ladyblog web page now visible on her screen. “Looking at how awesome we were would give us that extra endorphins boost, don't you think?”

“We are still awesome now, what are you saying?” He wrapped the blanket around them.

She giggled. “We should do some parkour sometimes.”

Bundled up in blankets with their limbs tangled, they sat there watching the best moments they had while battling Akumas, fondness for themselves and for the other clear on their faces.

Ladybug has always been like this, trying to solve whatever issues that arise. It’s how they’ve won battle after battle. Even after the threat is gone, she’s still trying to salvage the situation, no matter how small it is in the grand scheme of things.

Chat was immensely grateful for what she had done tonight. The videos had really calmed his nerves and brought back all those euphoric memories he once had. The reason why he was doing this in the first place. The joy his lady had brought to him whenever he spent time with her. The love and admiration he felt for her as she stood up against Hawkmoth on their first day as superheroes, despite Ladybug believing that she wasn’t suited for her calling.

The love…

He tightened his hold around her.

“You alright?”

“Yeah, just mesmerised by how cool we are.”

How could he have forgotten? How miraculously amazing she was. No. She still is, up till this very day. Even after 6 years. Even after he denied her what she wanted most following Shadowmoth’s defeat. Even after what he’s done to their relationship. She never walked away from him, and is still trying to rectify the situation.

He wasn’t making it easy for her, even though it should’ve been after the final battle. It’s really unfair to her.

And yet, she’s still here, she still chose to stick with him.

This can’t go on.

He took hold of her hand and brought it to his lips. “You’re the best thing that has ever happened to me.”

9. Cinema

“Come on, come on, come on, we’re gonna be late!” Chat hurriedly pushed her into the cinema, worried that they wouldn't make it to showtime.

“Wasn’t that 5-hour binge-watch enough?” Ladybug was obviously excited about the movie, but she couldn’t allow him the satisfaction so easily.

“Of course not! This is the sequel to the series!” He continued pushing as if there’s nothing entirely wrong with his behaviour.

“And we’re heading to a cinema now. Didn’t you say you wanted us to be as discreet as possible?” She raised her eyebrow despite Chat not being able to see her face.

“Yeah, but it’s the premiere today! We won’t be able to watch it on the laptop.” They stopped at the cinema hall entrance and Chat scanned his ticket for the seat number before he continued pushing. “Also, watching in a cinema after hours of watching from a smaller screen is just a different experience, no?”

They finally arrived at the row where their seats were, but he continued resting his hands on her shoulder, guiding her to her seat before finally letting her go. “Besides, Parisians won’t kick us out after the ‘patrol’ stun we pulled.”

She rolled her eyes. “I mean we did do our job when something happened.”

Although animated films are popular in France, this particular one didn’t attract as many audiences as those action-packed animated films, which was a blessing and a curse because they would be able to get away with minimal attention on them, but also so many people are missing out on this greatness.

“Anyway, do you think we’ll cry again?” She rubbed her tear-stained eyes, “I don’t think I’ve any liquid left in me for that.”

“Nonsense, there’s definitely more in you,” he cupped her cheeks to have a better look at her. “And you still look so pretty even after all that crying.”

“Oh, quite the sadist, aren’t you? Does my crying bring you joy?”

“Come on, Buguinette, you can’t deny it was phenomenal.”

“Yeah, you’re right. It is phenomenal. But couldn’t we spread it out even more? The watch time on that series I mean.”

“I… I won’t have time for the rest of the week,” his smile fell as his hands caressed her cheeks. “I’m really sorry.”

“No wonder you wanted to spend the whole day today,” she teased. “Well, no worries about it! I love spending time with you.”

He moved his hand to hers and placed a kiss on her knuckles. “Thank you, my lady.”

And that’s when the lights started dimming. They relaxed into their respective seats, but not without interlacing their hands together.

The movie, of course, had delivered what the series had set out to do. The cinema was filled with sniffles and sobs and Ladybug and Chat Noir were certainly not spared from the experience. They were tearing like they had been all afternoon, the only difference was that they weren’t able to hold the other as tightly as they would’ve liked due to the armrest in between them.

And they didn’t realise the importance of tissues until that night. They had to go to the toilet to clean their face and clear their noses before continuing with other plans they had had for the night.

10. Moonlight

As they left the establishment, they were surprised to see how the gleaming of the silver orb that hung in the sky rivalled that of The City of Light.

Chat proposed spending the rest of the night at the top of the Eiffel Tower, given that it has been a while since they were there. And immediately regretted that suggestion when he remembered that their last memories of the Eiffel Tower were of him expressing his wishes to hold off the reveal right after the final battle.

But Ladybug eagerly agreed and was already well on her way. He had no choice but to follow through.

When he arrived, he was awestruck by the moon. He has—

“—never seen the moon this big! Wow!” Ladybug proclaimed as she took in the moon in all its beauty.

She was captivated by the glamour of the moon, but to Chat, it seemed as though she was basking in the moonlight. Her suit gave off a shimmering red glow not often seen and her dark hair looked midnight blue under it. Her back was towards him, but as she turned around to move towards the spot next to him, he felt his own heartbeat quickened. The brilliance of her blue orbs awed him, they were of a pigment he had never seen before in her eyes.

“Wow indeed.”

They moved to sit side by side on the edge and took in the view of the moon and of the city. Did they really enjoy this view of the city weekly before? Has it always been this beautiful?

“You know,” Ladybug started, breaking the silence. “I’m really glad he chose what he did in the end.”

“Yeah, they finally got together.”

She peered upwards. “It wasn’t an easy journey, but I’m so satisfied with that ending. I’m sure everyone was crying tears of joy too.”

That animated series as a whole was about conveying your feelings to the ones you love. Which he did, a lot. He was never one to shy away from declaring his love for her. But why did everything change after the final battle? Why did he change after the final battle?

His heart must’ve been tired of what his brain was trying to reason about, and thus led him to pick this series to watch, and eventually the movie. All the answers were there.

He knew his lady well enough and was certain that she wouldn't walk away. She has proved that time and time again.

So what was preventing him from being with her, when he very much desired to have a happy ending with her as well?

In some ways, his current predicament was similar to Gilbert’s. He was afraid. He was afraid that she’ll abandon him after she found out who he really was, and what he’s done.

But…

Chat looked over to see Ladybug moonbathing and enjoying the light breeze. Was it too much to hope for a happy ending himself? He knew damn well how Violet felt throughout the whole ordeal of trying to get Gilbert back by her side. Did he really want his lady to end up that way eventually, when he had the ability to prevent that?

No. That’s too brutal. The world was already cruel to him. But if he could prevent that cruelty and enable her to witness how beautiful life can be, how pleasant she had made life for him, he’d do it.

“Chaton?”

Those eyes that looked at him as though he hung the stars in her sky. Those wide blue eyes that never gave up on him despite his failure to give her what she wanted most. Those worried, concerned eyes, so full of love.

He was choked up with emotions.

“I love you.”

Ladybug inhaled sharply and stared at him unblinking, unsure if she misheard those words.

She reached out to him slowly. “Can… Can you say that again?”

“I love you.” He took her hand and squeezed it, leaning in to press his warm lips against her cheek.

He pulled back to see tears in the corner of her eyes.

“My lady?”

She still stared at him as her tears started to trickle down her face.

His hands flew to her face. “My—”

Ladybug threw her arms around him with such vitality that they toppled over. “I love you too!”

He pulled her in to close any gaps between them, so very glad that she still felt the same despite all that has happened. She planted a heartwarming kiss on his cheek as Chat landed on his back.

They basked in each other’s warmth and presence. He stroked her hair and she melted into him, happy tears flowing as her kitty was starting to declare his love for her again, verbally.

“My lady, can we meet up again tomorrow?”

“I thought you said you were busy?” She giggled.

“I did,” he grinned. “But who said anything about meeting during the hours of the day?”

[iamtrebleclefstories]

maybe it’s wrong to say I love you - part three Part Three: This Love

this love is good, this love is bad, this love is alive back from the dead

In honor of Nina’s ( @doc-pickles​ ) birthday, enjoy Part 3 of this fic that has taken my whole heart. It’s a super long, monstrosity of an update, but I hope it’s everything you never knew you needed. It might be my favorite thing I’ve ever written. Let me know what you think in the comments!

Find parts one and two on my Master List

-This love is good-

-This love is bad-

Since deciding to stay in Seattle two days ago, Alex hadn’t had a chance to apologize to Jo for what he’d said. He hadn’t seen her around the hospital and was beginning to worry that maybe he’d caused her to run. Tired of acting like a wuss, Alex finally made his way over to L&D where he knew she spent most of her time. It wasn’t that far or out of the way for him since the NICU was on the same floor, but he didn’t venture to that side more than a couple times a week.

As Alex was nearing the L&D doors, he heard a couple whimpers coming from a supply closet on his left. He paused and pressed his ear to the door, trying to figure out what was going. Realizing that there was definitely someone inside the room crying, Alex knocked quietly and let himself in.

“Hey, I just heard some crying outside and I wanted to make sure everything was okay,” Alex scanned the room for the source of the cries. He locked eyes with teary-faced Jo. “Jo.”

“What are you doing here?” Jo’s eyes red from crying. “I thought you left for Baltimore.”

“I decided to stay,” Alex stepped closer and crouched down to where she was seated in the corner. Jo looked at him expectantly so he responded. “I couldn’t leave things the way they were. I didn’t mean what I said the other night. I’m sorry. We matter. You matter. Our friendship matters. And I don’t know about you, but I’d really love to have my best friend back.”

“I’m sorry too,” Jo sniffled. “I was just… I’m going through something and everything just kind of came crumbling all at once. Part of it was me being pissed as hell at you, but the other part was me just projecting my own issues.”

“Are you okay? Is it Paul?” Alex sat down next to her on the floor. “Because I swear if he got out early and tries to come find you, I’ll—”

“No it’s not Paul,” Jo let out a watery laugh. “It has nothing to do with him.”

Alex watched as Jo began crying again, her chest heaving slightly as she fought with whatever was plaguing her thoughts. Unable to resist this time, Alex placed his arm around her shoulders and brought Jo into a hug for the first time in over three years. He waited patiently as Jo broke down in his arms, rubbing her back and shoulders comfortingly.

There was something about being in Alex’s embrace after so long that made her finally give into the emotions she was feeling. Maybe it was because despite their rocky history, Jo knew she was completely and utterly safe to be one hundred percent herself around him. She felt secure enough to truly process all of the changes she’d experienced in the last seventy-two hours.

“I’m pregnant,” Jo shared quietly after minutes of silence. She felt Alex’s body tense slightly and hesitate in his movements before nodding, a signal for her to continue. “I found out four days ago. I’m about eight weeks.” Jo paused and let her eyes flit over to Alex’s face. His eyebrows were raised in surprise, but he nodded at her to keep going. “I—uh, I’ve been suspecting it for a couple weeks now. I’m a fetal surgeon. I’m surrounded by pregnant women every day.” Jo huffed a laugh. “But, I think I was so far in denial that I didn’t want to recognize it. Anyway, I took a blood test four days ago and it confirmed my suspicion. That’s why I was a mess when we spoke two days ago. I’d been holding onto this secret all by myself and didn’t know how to handle it, so I just yelled at you, because I knew I couldn’t talk to you about what was going on in my life without breaking down exactly like I did a few minutes ago.”

“Are you feeling okay?” Alex asked, concerned. “Does the father know?”

“You remember that douche-bag ex-boyfriend I mentioned?” Jo laughed ironically. “Well, after the argument you and I had, I called him. I thought you were leaving and never wanted to see me again, so I might as well call Jason and see if I could fix things. We were gonna have a baby.” Jo took a deep breath and wiped a couple straggling tears. “When I told him that I wanted to keep the baby, he wasn’t happy. He said that he wasn’t going to put his career on hold and neither should I over a mistake. So, I suggested getting him in the OB program here. We could work together again and raise the baby together… That's when he yelled at me. He wanted me to have an abortion and I said no. Then he said, ‘yeah go ahead and have the baby. You’ll be having it alone in Seattle. Don’t call me again, or try to contact me for help.’ And he hung up.”

“I’m gonna be a single mom,” Jo bit her lip as she tried to hold back some tears. “And I’m okay with that. I’ve come to terms with that. I’m ready for this. I’m ready to be a mom. Sure, the timing could’ve been better and I never pictured it happening this way, but I want this baby. I want to do this. I’m just… I’m scared. What if I’m not good at it?”

“Jo, you’ve never not been good at something,” Alex looked at Jo for a moment in awe. She really was the strongest person he had ever met. “For what it’s worth, I think you’ll be a great mom.”

“I have my first appointment tomorrow,” Jo sighed. “That’s why I was in here, crying. I couldn’t stop thinking about how I never pictured myself going to my first prenatal appointment alone. I could ask Mer or Bailey, but they both have a lot on their plates right now. They don’t need something else to worry about.”

“Why don’t I go with you?” Alex suggested.

“I’m sorry, what did you say?” Jo made a face and pulled away slightly from his embrace in order to get a good look at him.

“I can go with you,” Alex repeated. “Just tell me what time and exam room you’ll be in and I’ll be there.”

“I don’t know, Alex,” Jo shook her head. “Just because I cried in front of you doesn’t mean you have to feel like you have to go. I can handle it by myself. I’m good at being alone. I’ve gotten used to it.”

“But that’s the thing. You don’t have to be alone. Not anymore,” Alex took her hand in his own. “You’ve got people now. So many people who give so many craps about whether or not you’re okay. You’ve got me and I mean it this time. I know I haven’t given you much reason to trust me, but I want to be your friend again.”

“Alex…”

“Listen, you told me once that you pictured doing this with me, so let me go with you. Not as your boyfriend or whatever, but as your friend. You shouldn’t be alone. You were there for me when I got shot. I didn’t know that back then, but I know that now. I want to be there for you,” Alex’s mouth curved into a crooked grin. “Besides, if I don’t go with you the nurse is gonna give you that stupid pitying look and ask if ‘you wanna discuss your options.’ I’m doing you a favor.”

“You know, I really hate that you know me so well that you knew exactly what to say,” Jo let out a short laugh, “Fine. You can come. My appointment is tomorrow morning at 8am. Meet me here. Don’t be late.”

—————

-This love is alive back from the dead, oh, oh, oh-

8 Weeks

“You came,” Jo stared at Alex in slight disbelief as he walked up to her outside the OB/GYN wing.

“Of course I came. I told you I’d be here,” Alex gave her a shy smile. “You okay?”

“Nervous,” Jo shoved her hand into her pockets. “Just because I want this doesn’t make it any less nerve wracking or scary. I’m just glad I’m not alone.”

“I’m glad you told me and I get to be here with you,” Alex grabbed her hand and squeezed it lightly. “Did you already sign-in?”

“No not yet,” Jo shook her head. “I haven’t walked in yet. I was waiting.”

“Well, I’m here so, let go,” Alex held the door open and walked closely behind Jo as she went up to the front desk to check in for her appointment. Once she was done, he placed his hand on the small of her back and guided her over to a set of chairs in the corner.

After a few minutes, a nurse stepped out and called her name, “Josephine Wilson.”

Jo stood up and looked back at Alex expectantly. He stood up and gripped her hand in his own, walking back towards the exam room with her. The nurse gave her the same instructions that Jo herself had listed off to patients countless times.

“Alright, just remove your pants and get settled onto the exam table, legs in the stirrups. If you want, I’ve left a gown on the table for you to change into. Dr. Hopewell will be in shortly.”

Jo nodded and began removing her scrubs, handing them to Alex who folded them and placed them on the chair next to him. She donned the gown and slipped her panties off swiftly, tucking them in between her pants. She took a shaky breath as Alex helped her up onto the table, “Thank you. For coming. It means a lot. It’s nice to not be alone.”

“There’s no place I’d rather be,” Alex pressed a kiss on the hand that was being held firmly in his own. “You are and always have been my best friend. You were there for me in my darkest moments and you celebrated with me during some of my happiest ones. There’s no way I’d want to be anywhere else rather than here with you, right now. And if you let me, I plan on being here for you for the long run.”

They were interrupted by a knock on the door. A young woman in her thirties walked in, a surprised look on her face, “Dr. Wilson. And Dr. Karev. It’s a surprise seeing you here.”

“Dr. Hopewell,” Jo smiled shyly. “Call me Jo. We work together and you’re about to see all my lady-bits so might as well drop the formalities.”

Dr. Hopewell chuckled, “Well, Jo, call me Amanda.” She got into position and fired up the ultrasound machine as Jo placed her legs up in the stirrups. “I have to say, I didn’t expect to see you on this side of the table.”

“Neither did I,” Jo mumbled. “But life happens and you roll with the punches.”

“So I take it this was not a planned pregnancy,” Amanda asked.

“Definitely not,” Jo huffed a short laugh. “But it is wanted.”

“Okay,” Amanda smiled and looked over at Alex. “How are you feeling?”

“Oh, I—uh, I’m not the dad,” Alex stuttered. “I’m just here to support Jo.”

“Alex is my best friend,” Jo looked up at Alex to see his face of surprise at her admitting that she still saw him that way after so many years. “He didn’t want me to be alone for my first appointment.”

“That’s really kind of you Karev. If only there were more friends like you,” Amanda gave him a small smile before turning her attention back to Jo. “I don’t mean to pry, but I just want to have all the facts straight so that way I can best support you during this pregnancy. Is the father out of the picture?”

“Yes,” Jo answered, biting her lip. “It’s just me.”

“Alright,” Amanda nodded. “You know that means that I will be available to you should you ever need my help. You also need to surround yourself with a great support system. You need people that will help you when you need help, even when you’re too stubborn to ask for it. Single moms are notorious for believing that they are not allowed to ask for help. Don’t fall into that trap. Find your people, your tribe. Although, I see you are off to a very good start considering that Dr. Karev is here with you today.”

“She’s got people,” Alex gave Jo a crooked smile and turned back to Dr. Hopewell. “So, are we gonna see this baby or what?”

“Yes! Alright, Jo, we’re doing a vaginal ultrasound today. I’m going to stick the transducer inside you now. It’s going to be cold and you might feel some pressure or discomfort, but never pain. If it hurts let me know and I’ll stop,” Amanda smiled encouragingly. “Okay, I’m starting now.”

Jo winced slightly at the intrusion of the transducer and tried her best to stay relaxed. She felt Alex run his free hand through her hair, providing a welcome distraction as Hopewell looked on the screen for the fetus. Amanda moved and adjusted her position a few times before an image finally came up on screen, “Aha, there it is. There’s your baby.”

Jo watched in wonder as she saw the tiny blob on the screen. She felt Alex squeeze her hand again as he laughed, “Hey, would you look at that. There’s a baby in there. A tiny Baby Wilson.”

“Woah,” Jo let out and smiled. She looked over to Amanda who’d been taking some measurements. “Can we hear the heartbeat?”

“Of course,” Amanda reached over on the machine and punched some buttons before a steady, quick sound exited the speakers.

“Oh,” Jo gasped and lifted a hand to cover her mouth as she listened to her baby’s heartbeat flutter through the speakers. Tears collected in her eyes at the sound. “Hey, baby.”

“Jo, you’re gonna be a mom,” Alex grinned down at her and wiped a couple tears that had trickled down her face. He felt his own eyes grow watery at the sight and sound of the little life currently developing in Jo’s womb.

Fifteen minutes later, Jo and Alex were walking out of the exam room, each with an ultrasound photo in their hands. Alex beamed as he looked down proudly at the picture he was holding, “I’m gonna put this on my fridge.”

“You are way too excited about this,” Jo rolled her eyes.

“Of course I’m excited,” Alex wrapped his arm around Jo’s shoulder. “I’m going to be an uncle!”

“An uncle?” Jo raised her eyebrows. “Who said that you’re going to be an uncle?”

“I did,” Alex replied simply. “I better be an uncle. Actually, I better be the godfather.”

Jo’s eyes shined in amusement, “We’ll see.”

“We’ll see?” Alex made a face. “Oh, hell no. You want to continue having an appointment buddy, I want to at least be Uncle Alex.”

“Fine. You can be Uncle Alex,” Jo laughed.

“Thank you.”

—————

-These hands had to let it go free, and-

-This love came back to me, oh, oh, oh-

11 Weeks

“You okay?” Alex lingered in the doorway of the bathroom of the frat house as he heard Jo puking into the toilet.

“No,” Jo groaned and lifted her head to see Alex’s look of concern. “I’m sorry. I know I came over to help you furnish this place since obviously neither you or Cristina are capable of doing it on your own and now I’m here monopolizing your bathroom.”

“Jo, it’s fine. You don’t have to apologize for having morning sickness,” Alex walked into the bathroom and crouched down by Jo, pulling her hair back. “I thought you’d gotten past the morning sickness already, though.”

“So did I,” Jo retched.

“Ew, morning sickness Jo?” Cristina entered the bathroom.

“Uh huh,” Jo nodded weakly, leaning her head against Alex’s chest. “I think I’m okay. You guys can go. I’m just going to rinse my mouth out.”

“Okay,” Alex motioned for Cristina to follow him out of the bathroom.

Cristina and Alex wandered into the kitchen and waited for Jo to come out of the bathroom. Cristina stared at the eight week ultrasound photo on the fridge that had given away the news of Jo’s pregnancy when she saw it hanging after showing up unannounced. She eyed Alex suspiciously, “You’re really invested in this.”

“Of course I am. She’s my best friend,” Alex scrunched his face in confusion.

“Are you sure the kid isn’t yours?” Cristina raised an eyebrow.

“Already told you it isn’t,” Alex shot Cristina an unimpressed look. “She’s eleven weeks pregnant. She’s been back for seven. I think you know how to add. Besides, it’s not like that between us. We’re just friends.”

“Just friends my ass,” Cristina scoffed. “I’ve been back for two days and I can tell you are still as in love with her as you were the first time.”

"Okay, yeah i love her. So, what?" Alex shrugged. "I think I always will, but that doesn't mean that I'm gonna do anything about it. She's pregnant and she's moved on and she doesn't need me complicating her life with feelings. Maybe one day it will be different, but right now, this is the way things are. So, I'm just gonna be a good friend to her and I'm gonna be there for whatever she and this baby need."

"Who are you and what have you done with Evil Spawn?" Cristina mused.

"Shut up," Alex rolled his eyes.

Cristina was about to open her mouth to speak again when Jo walked out of the bathroom. Cristina shut her mouth quickly, gaining a strange look from Jo. Jo narrowed her eyes at her two friends,  "What?"

"Nothing." Cristina and Alex answered in tandem.

"Well, I'm going to Mer's house. I probably won't come back tonight, so try not to burn the house down while I'm gone," Cristina nodded at the pair and made her way out the house.  

“Don’t tell Mer!” Jo yelled after her.

“I won’t,” Cristina yelled back.

"She should've just moved in with Mer and Derek," Jo commented as she watched Cristina walk out the door. “Doesn’t she have a room over there?”

“Yup,” Alex chuckled. “I don’t pretend to understand them.”

Jo forced a smile as she felt some dizziness. She closed her eyes for a second, hoping that Alex wouldn’t notice the shift in her demeanor. Of course, she should’ve known that Alex was overly attentive of her every change in mood.

“What’s going on?” Alex asked as he led Jo to take a seat on the staircase since there wasn’t any furniture in the house yet.

Jo took a couple deep breaths, “Somethings wrong. Alex, something is really wrong.”

“Are you in pain? Are you bleeding?” Alex searched frantically for any sight of blood or tenderness in her abdomen.

“I need to go to the hospital. I need an ultrasound. I need to see my baby,” Jo’s breaths grew shallower.

“Okay, Jo. Calm down. Think rationally. You’re a fetal surgeon. You know what things to look for in case something is wrong. You’re probably just dehydrated,” Alex tried to soothe her.

“That’s my point, Alex. I am a fetal surgeon. I know exactly what can go wrong. I have every worst case scenario running through my head right now and that scares the crap out of me because I didn’t know you could love someone so much. If something goes wrong, I can’t help this baby. I can’t operate on myself,” Jo placed a hand on her still flat stomach and wiped a couple straying tears with the other. “So please, don’t look at me like I’m crazy when I ask you to take me to the hospital. Something doesn’t feel right. Please, I just want an ultrasound. I need to make sure my baby is okay.”

Alex saw her distress and conceded, "Okay. We'll go right now."

By the time they’d arrived at the hospital, Jo had begun bleeding. She was shaking with fear as Alex helped her out of the car and carried her into the ER. He bypassed the front desk and placed her on an empty bed, ignoring the confused stares from the likes of Owen and Bailey.

Alex flagged down an intern and barked orders, fear evident in his voice, “You! Drop whatever you’re doing. Get me a portable ultrasound right now!”

The terrified intern scurried over to do as Alex had instructed. Alex leaned down to press a light kiss on Jo’s forehead as she clutched his hand tightly, “Hey. You’re okay. Whatever happens, you’ll be okay. Do you want me to page Hopewell or Herman?”

“No, we don’t call the big guns until there’s something to worry about,” Jo shook her head. “You do it. I trust you.”

“What’s going on here?” Owen asked as he walked up to Jo’s bed.

“Is everything alright, Wilson?” Bailey rushed over to Jo’s bedside.

“I think I might be having a miscarriage,” Jo trembled.

Bailey’s eyes opened wide, “Oh sweetheart.”

“Where the hell is that damn ultrasound?” Alex growled in annoyance.

“Right here!” The intern Alex had tasked with retrieving the ultrasound machine finally came back with the device in hand. “Do you want me to—”

“Just give it to me,” Alex grabbed the machine and got it ready. He had Jo pull up her shirt and he squirted the gel on her abdomen, placing the probe on her stomach. The doctors let out a collective sigh of relief when they heard the heartbeat flutter through the speakers. “It’s okay, Jo. You see? The baby is okay. He or she is in there having a party.”

“Oh thank God,” Jo let out a quiet sob, feeling Bailey smooth her hair down in a comforting manner. She placed her hand on the screen. “Hi baby. You scared the crap out of me. Don’t do that ever again, please. I already love you so much.”

Alex felt all his worries dissipate as he spoke to Jo’s stomach, “God, you really enjoy freaking us out, don’t you?”

“You’re having a baby? My baby is having a baby?” Bailey asked, a smile on her face.

“Yeah,” Jo nodded and wiped a few tears away. “I’m having a baby.”

“Congratulations,” Owen smiled sincerely. He turned to look between Alex and Jo. “So are you two back together or..?”

“Oh, no. I’m not the dad,” Alex laughed awkwardly. “I’m just here as a friend. She was at my house to help me pick out furniture when she asked me to take her to the hospital.”

“Hmm,” Bailey raised an eyebrow, partly unconvinced, partly sure that those two would be together again eventually. “Well, I’m going to call OB down to give you a full work-up. They’ll take blood work and everything.”

“Yes, I’ll make sure that we figure out what’s going on. The baby looks fine though, so I’m not sure why you’re bleeding,” Owen spoke to Jo. “I’m also going to set you up in a room overnight. I know that’s not common but I also know that if I release you, you’re going to want to come in tomorrow morning to work and that’s not going to happen. So, you’re staying here.”

“Fine,” Jo huffed. “But only because I know I need to take it easy if I want to keep cooking this baby for six more months.”

“I’ll stay with you,” Alex said as he wiped the gel off of her stomach and put the machine away.

“Alex, you don’t have to. I’ll be okay on my own,” Jo placed a hand on his arm.

“I know you will. But you don’t have to be. I want to stay with you,” Alex insisted, covering her hand with his own. “Let me stay with you.”

“Okay,” Jo‘s lips twitched slightly.

Bailey and Owen watched from the side as Alex fretted over Jo and yelled at interns to do their jobs right. The two exchanged a look and Owen spoke, “For someone who isn’t the father, he sure is acting like it.”

“He’s in love with her,” Bailey shrugged. “He’s been in love with her practically since day one. He hasn’t said it, but he could care less if that baby was his or not. She’s his person. He’s still going to love her. He’s still going to be there for her and protect her. That’s who he is.”

——————

-Lantern, burning-

-Flickered in the night, only you-

13 Weeks

“Guess what!” Jo grinned as she walked into the attendings’ lounge.

“What?” Cristina asked as she looked up from the medical journal she’d been reading.

“Look!” Jo lifted up her shirt to reveal the tiniest beginnings of the curve of her stomach. “I’m starting to get a bump!”

“Hey baby Wilson,” Alex beamed and walked up to place a hand on Jo’s abdomen. “It’s good to see you.”

“You’re such a dork,” Jo rolled her eyes. “Anyway, that’s not the only reason I came in here this morning. I also have the results back from the prenatal screening. Baby seems to be completely healthy.”

“That’s great,” April said from her spot by the coffee machine.

After Jo’s scare that had her in the hospital a two weeks ago, everyone found out about her pregnancy rather quickly. After all, gossip made its way around the hospital like wildfire. It wasn’t a surprise when Jo woke up the morning after the ordeal to find Meredith glaring at her from the doorway of her hospital room. Once the initial shock and round of questions wore off, everyone had gotten excited and supportive rather quickly.

“Okay, so what’s the verdict?” Meredith asked. “Am I getting fifty dollars from Avery or not?”

“I’m the one getting the fifty dollars. It’s definitely a girl,” Jackson crossed his arms over his chest in confidence.

“Nope,” Meredith shook her head. “It’s definitely a boy. Jo is such a boy mom. She gives off boy mom energy.”

“Okay everyone say your last minute predictions before I open up the envelope,” Jo chuckled.

“I say boy,” Callie took a sip of her coffee.

“Girl,” Bailey narrowed her eyes. “Yes. A girl.”

“It’s gonna be a girl,” Cristina flipped through the pages of her medical journal. “Alex is the godfather. There’s no way this kid isn’t going to end up being Evil Spawn’s worst nightmare. It has to be a girl.”

“I second that,” Derek laughed.

“No, I think it’s a boy,” Richard placed a hand on his chin.

“A boy,” April pitched. “No, a girl. No… yes… a girl. Final answer.”

“I say a boy,” Arizona smiled.

“I’m gonna go with a boy as well,” Owen nodded with Arizona.

“What about you Evil Spawn?” Cristina asked. “What do you think the baby is gonna be?”

“I don’t really care to be honest,” Alex shrugged. “As long as my godchild is happy and healthy, I could care less… but I kind of hope it’s a girl.”

“Alright, stop messing around and open the envelope,” Meredith urged.

“Okay,” Jo took a deep breath and tore the envelope open, carefully removing the paper from inside. She unfolded it and gasped. “It’s a girl!”

“Pay up Grey!” Jackson held his hand out as Meredith grumbled and retrieved fifty bucks from her purse.

“It’s a girl!” Alex grinned brightly and wrapped Jo in a tight hug. “You’re having a Baby Girl Wilson.”

“You should name her Cristina,” Yang shouted across the room. “Cristina Wilson has a nice ring to it.”

“No way,” Jackson shook his head. “Her name is gonna be Avery Wilson. I’m the one who said she was gonna be a girl first.”

“You could always go with Robbin,” Arizona smiled. “It’s a sweet nature-y name.”

“If she names the baby after anyone, it’s going to be me,” Meredith rolled her eyes. “I’m the one who kept in contact with her and helped her all those years. Besides, she has so many options if she names the baby after me. There’s Meredith, Mary, Merella, Greyson, Greysie, Mere, and I could come up with a lot of really obscure ones if given the time.”

“Love the suggestions, but not happening,” Jo laughed at her friends. "I'm not going to name her after one of you and have the rest of you hate me for it later."

“Exactly. Jo’s not going to choose between one of you guys to name her child after,” Alex smirked. “Not when we all know that the baby is going to be named Alexandra after me, her Uncle Alex.”

“Shut up,” Jo shoved him playfully. “You’re lucky I’m even letting her call you Uncle Alex. I could revoke that privilege.”

“No you can’t. Because if you did, then I wouldn’t show you the stash of chocolate pudding you’ve been craving in the lounge fridge that no one else is allowed to touch.”

“You got me the pudding I’ve been craving?” Jo gasped.

“Sure did,” Alex opened the fridge to show her the stocked shelves full of multiple boxes of chocolate pudding. “There’s a sticky note with your name on the boxes so that no one takes them. Make sure you ration it wisely.”

Jo stared at the open fridge in joy. She threw her arms around Alex’s neck and hugged him tightly, “You are the best!”

“God, he’s whipped,” Cristina commented to the rest of the doctors quietly observing the pair. “He’s so whipped he doesn’t even realize it.”

“I mean, are you really that surprised?” Meredith shrugged one shoulder. “It’s Jo we’re talking about.”

“I always liked those two together,” Richard leaned against the wall. “I never understood why he married Stevens. Not that she wasn’t a great girl—because she was—but Karev and Wilson were always different.”

“Sometimes it takes you awhile to find your way back home,” Derek wrapped his arm around Meredith. “They’ll figure out eventually.”

“A hundred bucks says they’ll cave and get together after the baby is born,” Jackson placed a bet.

“One-fifty says they get together before the baby is born,” Callie pitched in.

“Two-hundred says they get together before she hits the thirty-week mark,” Arizona grinned.

“Oh please,” Cristina rolled her eyes. “It’s Karev and Wilson. Knowing them, they’re gonna end up having crazy monkey sex for a couple months until someone cracks and word-vomits all their feelings.”

“Two-fifty says they’re going to do it first and have feelings later,” Meredith stuck her hand out in a challenge.

“You’re on,” Jackson shook Meredith’s hand.

Oblivious to the conversation going on around them, Jo and Alex continued lost in their own little world as Jo opened one of the pudding packs. Jo let out a moan, “Hell yes. This is exactly what I’ve been craving.”

“Glad you and the baby are enjoying it,” Alex smiled at her proudly.

“Ooh! I almost forgot to ask, are you going to come with me to look at more houses today after work?”

“Yeah, I’ll go with you,” Alex reached over to take a spoonful of her pudding, gaining a glare from Jo. “I don’t know why you’re so focused on trying to buy a house. Your apartment is really nice. It’s twenty minutes away from the hospital and five minutes away from me.”

“It’s a fifth floor studio apartment that has no elevator,” Jo scoffed. “I don’t exactly love the idea of having to carry my baby as well as groceries up five flights of stairs.”

“Good point,” Alex nodded. “Well, I’ve got surgery in twenty minutes, but I will see you later.”

“Sounds good,” Jo stuffed her face with another serving of chocolate pudding.

By the time the end of their shifts rolled around, Jo was utterly exhausted. Being in her second trimester, Jo was hoping that she’d gain some of her energy back soon. She’d seen plenty of moms that bounced back from various states of exhaustion once they made it past the twelve to fourteen week mark.

Jo was slumped against one of the benches outside the hospital when she heard Alex’s voice behind her, “Someone looks like they need a nap.”

“What I need is a foot rub. I just got out of a TTTS procedure and I don’t know why but my feet are burning,” Jo cast a sideways glance to Alex. “I just got off the phone with my real estate agent and guess what?

“What?” Alex asked as he sat down beside her.

“The house that I was considering has been sold.”

“Crap. Really?” Alex frowned. “What are you going to do now?”

“I don’t know,” Jo shrugged. “All of the other houses in my budget are an hour and a half away from the hospital so that’s not going to work. I guess I’m just going to have to stay in my studio apartment.”

“Why don’t you just officially move into the house with me and Cristina? You’re there all the time anyway,” Alex suggested.

Jo looked at Alex strangely, “You do know I’m having a baby right?”

“I’m not stupid,” Alex rolled his eyes. “I’m serious. Don’t worry. I’ll help you with the crib.”

He obviously was not understanding what Jo was trying to say. Jo stared at him dumbfoundedly, “That's not what—Are you sure? I don’t think Cristina is gonna like having to live across the hall from a screaming baby in a few months. I don’t think you’re going to want to sleep across the hall from a screaming baby either.”

“Jo, I’m serious,” a genuine expression on Alex’s face. “Move in with us. Cristina is barely home, she’s not gonna care. If anything, she’ll be happy because now her rent is gonna go down.”

“I don’t know… it feels weird,” Jo wrinkled her brow in thought.

“Why would it be weird?” Alex asked honestly. “Jo, it’s a frat house. Mer always left that house open for whoever needed it and as long as I own it, I’m gonna do the same. It’s your home, and you’ll always have a place there if you need it.”

“You’re absolutely positive about this?”

“Yes, Jo. I’m positive,” Alex held her hand gently. “Move into the house. I want you there.”

Jo looked down at their interlocked hands shyly and sighed, “Okay.”

——————

- Your kiss, my cheek -

- I watched you leave-

16 Weeks

“Ugh,” Jo groaned in frustration as she threw another failed attempt at knitting a pair of baby booties at the wall of her bedroom, feeling hot tears running down her face.

“You okay?” Alex popped his head into the room only to see Jo laying there on the bed with tear-stained cheeks.

“No!” Jo cried. “I can’t get this stupid thing right. I am a maternal fetal surgeon who can perform complicated procedures on tiny babies in the womb but I can’t even knit a damn pair of booties for my baby.” Jo covered her face with her hands and let out a muffled shout. “I’m sorry. It’s the hormones… so many damn hormones.”

Alex cautiously took a seat on the bed. He placed a hand on her knee causing her to flinch, “Okay… but you’re not in pain or anything right?”

“No,” Jo shook her head, face still covered.

“Then what is it really? Because you can blame it all on the fact that you can’t knit to save your life, but that’s not really gonna help anyone,” Alex’s face twitched up into a grin. “Are you upset about something else? Are you craving something? Because I can run down to the store and get it for you.”

“I’m horny!” Jo shot up into a sitting position, more tears leaking from her eyes. “I’m really freaking horny but I can’t have sex because no one is gonna sleep with a pregnant lady and I just want to have sex Alex, but my baby’s father is a son of a bitch and he’s living across the country and wants nothing to do with us.”

Alex gingerly placed a hand on her back, patting it lightly as she let another frustrated cry into his shirt. With wide eyes and an unsure expression on his face, he decided to make a suggestion, “We can get you a vibrator?”

Jo whipped her head around to look at Alex who shrugged like a dumbass. She let out a huff and flopped back onto the bed, staring at the ceiling. He really was an idiot , Jo thought. She attempted to keep her focus on her breathing and the marks on the ceiling when she felt Alex’s hand make its way to her slightly curved belly. He rubbed small circles on it for some moments when she spoke up again.

“Alex.”

“Hmm?”

“I need you to leave.”

“What? Why?” Alex paused his movements to look at her strangely.

Jo groaned, “I need you to leave because I’m very horny and you’re still… very, very sexy and you just—you have to go before I jump your bones.”

Alex raised his eyebrows in amusement, looking as though he wanted to laugh. He really was trying his hardest to be a good friend, but he couldn’t help how funny he found the situation. Thinking of possible ways to help Jo out, Alex slowly moved his hand up from her small bump to her sensitive breasts, pinching her nipples slightly. He leaned down and whispered in her ear, “You sure you want me to leave?”

“I changed my mind. Please stay.”

Alex smirked smugly and placed a pillow behind Jo’s back, making sure she was in a comfortable position.

His hand reached underneath her oversized tshirt and brushed against her heat, eliciting a quiet gasp. His fingers found the waistband of her underwear, and he tugged them down as she lifted her ass, letting him pull them over her butt and down past her thighs. Then, lifting one leg at a time and tossing it somewhere on the floor behind him.

He took a moment to collect himself and stare down at her—because God, it had been years since he’d seen her this way and he wanted to savor this moment—before pushing her legs further apart, giving him much better access.

Alex could tell just by looking at Jo that she was already wet. She squirmed impatiently, giving him the perfect view of her glistening skin. Alex held back a groan. Everything within him was crying out to relive those old stolen moments in on-call rooms, the back of his car, and the occasional (but very few) times they were in this very house alone.

He decided to start with his finger, placing it against her and rubbing it up and down and side to side, feeling the dampness beneath his fingers and taking in the feel of her soft, warm folds. He made sure to stroke every inch of her, over and over, concentrating on making sure it was pleasing to her. He could tell by the slight hitches in her breathing that it was.

Jo had almost forgotten what it was like to be touched by Alex. She’d almost forgotten the feel of his thick fingers inside of her. She’d almost forgotten the way he could reduce her to a puddle of incoherent mumbles with just his hands. She was reminded of the stark power and dexterity of his hands as his finger explored her most intimate region.

Alex added a second finger and began to rub her faster and harder, this time going up to her clit and drawing his finger over it. At his touch, Jo made a kind of muffled sound. He went back to rubbing her, alternating his strokes between hard and soft, between slow and quick, repeating the process over and over, never staying with a rhythm for long enough that she would get used to it, listening carefully as her breathing became more shallow and her body quickly grew wetter until he was having trouble staying on her because of the slick.

Finally, he decided, it was time. Alex stroked his fingers downward, but instead of going back up as he had been doing, he slipped a finger inside her, pushing through the wet heat and taking in how amazing she felt around him. God, he had missed this. She was always so tight and hot, and he wanted to stay inside her forever.

His dick ached in his pants at the sound of her soft moans, but this was not about him or what he wanted. This was about Jo. Alex concentrated just on her, moving his finger in and out, pushing in as deeply as he could, slowly at first and then speeding up as he went on.

Jo groaned as he fucked her. “Yes,” she gasped, and closed her eyes. Her hands were fisting the comforter on either side of her. “Yes, Alex. Don’t stop.”

She didn’t need to tell him; he wouldn’t have stopped if his life depended on it. Not with the noises she was making.

He added a second finger, plunging both of them in and out of her, as deep as he could get them. She moaned again, her hips starting to grind against his hand, head tilted back in pleasure.

A feeling of pride spread through his whole body. Watching her starting to come undone and knowing he was the reason, was something else he didn’t think he could explain if anyone asked.

Alex thrust into her harder, curling his fingers up to reach the parts of her body that made her burn with desire. With his other hand, he let go of her leg and reached over and placed his palm firmly on her pelvis, positioning his hand in such a way that he could stroke her clit with this thumb.

Jo moaned, a strangled sort of sound, her hips jerking harder, and Alex did it again — stroking over her clit and curling his fingers deep inside her at the same time. He marveled at the obscene sounds from her mouth and her pussy. They were everything, but he wanted more.

Finally, he added a third finger inside of her and pressed down harder on her clit, and there it was. Jo moaned, and then she cried out, her back arching as her muscles clamped around Alex’s fingers inside her, “Oh my God… Alex...Alex! Ah!”

Alex continued thrusting his fingers in and out of Jo as she rode her climax. He watched as her body shuddered and as she was reduced to a series of whimpers. When Jo finally came back down from her high, Alex removed his fingers. He waited as her chest heaved up and down in an attempt to restore her breathing to normal.

Jo looked up and locked eyes with Alex. He stared at her intensely as he reached his hand back down to collect the wetness between her thighs. Jo let out a few soft whimpers at his touch. Jo felt her heart rate pick up as she watched him bring his hand out from between her legs and toy with the slick juices coating his fingers.

A mischievous smirk made its way onto Alex’s face. Alex brought his hand to his lips. He groaned as he sucked every drop of Jo’s release off his fingers slowly, trying to savor the taste of her. It took everything within him not to lean forward, bury his face between her thighs, and fuck her with his tongue so that he could taste her from the source.

Instead, Alex bent down and pressed a light kiss on her mound—causing her hips to buck up—before standing up. He looked at Jo with a shit-eating grin, “Feel better?”

Jo was struggling to come up with words as her body still trembled with the remnants of her climax. She nodded lamely and breathed out shakily, “Yeah.”

“Great,” Alex’s grin increased as he walked towards the door. “Well, glad I could be of service. I’d stick around but I’ve got a surgery scheduled for 7am tomorrow. Goodnight.”

Jo’s jaw dropped in shock at Alex’s casual exit. She took a moment to process what had just occurred and found herself growing aroused at the thought of it. She’d forgotten just how well Alex knew her body. She’d forgotten how good it could feel with him. She’d forgotten what it was like to crave him so badly that she felt she might combust. She didn’t know what this meant, but the one thing Jo knew for sure though, was that she was completely and utterly screwed.

——————

-When you're young, you just run-

-But you come back to what you need-

17 Weeks  

It had been a week since Alex had… assisted Jo. And ever since that day, Alex or more specifically, Alex’s fingers were just about the only thing Jo could think about. Her body thrummed with desire and frustration whenever the thought popped into her mind—which was often.

She’d blame it on the pregnancy hormones; making her crave sex, not sex with Alex. But after days of trying to satisfy her own needs and being unable to excite herself at the thought of another man, Jo realized that it wasn’t sex she wanted. What she wanted was sex with Alex. Lots of hot, dirty, delicious sex.

She wished the ground would swallow her whole to be completely honest. Not because she was embarrassed. No, Jo had never once felt embarrassed about desiring Alex. There was no need to be embarrassed, especially when she knew the desire was reciprocated. The reason she wished the ground would swallow her whole was because the little piece of shit—Alex—knew full well exactly the effect he had on her and he was doing absolutely nothing about it.

Well, absolutely nothing wasn’t entirely true. Alex had noticed Jo’s desire practically seeping out of her pores and had started taking every opportunity he could to be a damn tease. He’d brush his fingers against her at home, he’d flex the muscles in his arms and hands. He knew what the hell he was doing to her and would follow each display of teasing with a proud glint in his eye.

Today though, the situation seemed more charged than before. Today, Jo was stuck in an OR with Alex. One of her placenta previa patients had been experiencing some concerning pain for the past week. After various testing, Jo decided that delivering the fetus as soon as possible was the best course of action for everyone’s safety. Being that the mother was only thirty weeks into her pregnancy and the baby had been diagnosed with a heart defect in-utero, Jo knew that she had to have a peds surgeon ready to treat the child as soon as possible. She’d hoped for Arizona, but well, you don’t always get what you hope for.

That’s how she found herself standing over Alex’s shoulder in the NICU as he worked on the premature child. The mother had fared well and all but demanded that Jo go up to the NICU to personally evaluate the baby. So there she was, watching Alex’s large hands practically engulf the preemie as he held the little boy closely and adjusted some of the wiring.

I'm going to hell. Jo thought to herself. There is a sick baby and all I can think about is how big Alex’s hands are. Jo gulped quietly as Alex’s fingers twitched slightly. Yup, definitely going to hell.

After seeing that the baby was fine and taking a few pictures, Jo hurried back to her patient’s hospital room, “Hi Brenda. Little Gideon is doing great. Doctor Karev is there monitoring him, but it seems as though he is stable. I took you some pictures if you’d like to see.”

“Yes! Thank you,” Brenda answered teary-eyed. “I wish I could hold him.”

“You’ll be able to soon,” Jo comforted. “And trust me when I tell you, he’s in the best hands.”

“You understand, my worry, I mean? On top of it all, I’m doing this all alone,” Brenda motioned to Jo’s stomach. “How far along are you?”

“Seventeen weeks,” Jo replied. “And yes, I do understand. I’m also doing this alone. Just a little over a month and a half ago I had a scare myself. I started bleeding more than normal. But do you know who I was with when it happened and who helped me? Doctor Karev. And if my baby or I  were ever in any danger, he’s the first person I’d ask for. He’s the first person I’d trust to take care of us.”

“He’s good right? And I don’t just mean a good doctor. He’d obviously have to be a good doctor to work here. I guess what I want to know is, is he a good person?” Brenda leaned forward.

Jo chuckled at the woman’s question, “Yes. Alex is one of the best people I know.”

“Okay, okay, I think I feel a little better now,” Brenda nodded her head. Brenda looked lost in thought before she blushed lightly. “He’s really hot isn’t he? Dr. Karev? And this whole gig with the babies doesn't hurt him either. Please tell me you’ve hit that.”

“Brenda!” Jo laughed along with her patient.

“Sorry, you don’t have to answer that,” Brenda smiled bashfully. “I just… Well, if I worked with that every day, I would’ve jumped him a long time ago.”

“No, it’s okay,” Jo shook her head in amusement. “I know this is unprofessional since I’m your doctor, but for your information, I have hit that before.”

Brenda gasped in excitement, “Really? When? How was it? Did it happen more than once?”

“It was fantastic,” Jo sighed as her mind became distracted with thoughts of she and Alex’s past hookups in this very hospital. “It was years ago. And yes, it happened more than once. It happened quite a few times.”

“I'm sorry. You are my doctor and I’m asking you about your sex life and you’re four months pregnant which I know means that you are really… frustrated right now and I am definitely not helping you,” Brenda winced apologetically.

“Definitely not helping me,” Jo huffed and shook her head, trying to get the horribly obscene thoughts out of her brain. “Anyway, Gideon is okay and Dr. Karev is taking great care of him. If we’re lucky, he won’t need to go into surgery to correct his heart until he gets a little stronger.”

“Thank you, Dr. Wilson,” Brenda called out as Jo walked over to the door. “Oh and Dr. Wilson!” Jo turned to face Brenda who had a bright smile on her face. “You should hit that again.”

Jo rolled her eyes, “I’ll think about it.”

The rest of the day, Jo was practically itching to get home. She checked the schedule on the board and saw that Alex would be home an hour after her and Cristina was on call tonight. As soon as her shift was over, she rushed to her car and drove quickly to the house. Immediately upon arriving, Jo went upstairs to the bathroom to shower and shave. On the drive home, Jo had resolved her decision to finally ask Alex for the one thing she’d been craving more than anything. So now, she was sitting on the side of the tub attempting to shave—a task she had been severely neglecting ever since her bump appeared.

Hearing Alex’s car pull up in the driveway, Jo toweled off quickly, throwing on an oversized t-shirt and hurrying down the stairs. She sat on a chair beside the staircase waiting for Alex to walk inside. Jo had been fidgeting and bouncing her leg anxiously when the door opened to reveal a confused Alex.

Jo jumped up from the chair, “We have the house to ourselves.”

“What?” Alex’s face scrunched up in question.

“We have the house to ourselves,” Jo repeated. “But I want you to know, that just because I’m about to jump into bed with you does not mean I’m some pregnant slut who has no morals. Because I do have morals. I have lots of them. But I’m also very, very—”

“No more talking,” Alex shushed her.

“Huh?”

Alex ran his hands down her body’s curves to grab her thighs, wrapping her legs around his waist and picking her up effortlessly, gaining a startled gasp from the woman in his arms.

“Yes! Oh, thank God!”

He carried her up the stairs and into her room. The delicious rub of her body against he drew a groan from the back of his throat. In retaliation, he grazed a hand back up her body, slipping under her shirt and over the curve of her waist, groaning as he realized that she was completely bare underneath.

Impatient as ever, Jo pulled back from the kiss and yanked her shirt over her head. Alex pressed her against the nearest wall and reverently ran a hand over the newly exposed skin. Her breathing was labored. While he was distracted, Jo moved on to his shirt. Her hands lingered on his muscles as she slowly exposed each one. Her thighs clenched tighter to hold herself up as Alex raised his arms and he pressed his pelvis into hers. The movement earned him a stuttered gasp so he did it again.

Jo tossed his shirt carelessly to some lost corner of the room. Their lips met again in a desperate kiss, skin pressed to skin. Alex’s hand slid up her back, holding her to him. As he pulled them from the wall and moved to the bed, his other hand found its way to her breast and got his first handful of cleavage.

He thumbed her nipple. Jo whined and Alex repeated the motion as he lowered her to the bed. His mouth left hers and pressed more kisses across her jaw, down her neck, and paused at the juncture with her shoulder when she moaned and thrusted against him in response. Her fingers speared into his hair to hold him in place. The other hand guided his back to her breast to squeeze.

Her hand then returned to run down his chest. Her nails trailed over his nipples and she nipped his neck as her fingers reached the button of his jeans. With one motion, she opened his pants and slipped her hand inside his pants to cup him without anything in between them.

Alex sifted down the bed, pressing kisses down her body. He dragged his lips across her skin, kissing every inch of skin until he reached the juncture between her legs.  

“Alex,” Jo whined when he paused.

Alex chuckled and pressed a conciliatory kiss to her hip bone. He settled back between her legs, kissing along the soft, exposed skin of her thighs. Jo’s hands curled into his hair and tried to direct him to her center faster. He laughed against her skin and bit her thigh in retaliation.

“God,” Alex breathed out, dangerously close to her hot center. “I’ve been thinking about this all damn week.”

“So have I,” Jo replied shakily.

Alex’s hands ran up and down her thighs as he pressed kisses along her bump and pelvis, “You’re so beautiful.”

“Alex, I swear to God, if you don’t—” She never got to finish her threat, cut off when his mouth found her pussy. “Oh, fuck, Alex!”

He used his fingers to spread her open as he lapped at her entrance, pressed into her, taking his cues from the way her hands in his hair, the sounds she made, and the movement of her hips. His tongue swirled up to her clit, varying speed and strength. He started with a single finger, slipping it into her wet warmth with ease. At her encouragement, he added a second. After a few sample thrusts, he crooked his fingers to find the spongy flesh that made her keen.

Alex groaned against her, adding a third finger. Jo tensed under him as he built her right up to the ledge and then stopped. Jo whined as he distanced himself, watching in fascination as her pussy clenched around nothing. His thumb grazed her labia and Jo jerked at the sensation.

“Alex,” Her plea conveyed in a single word.

He let his thumb strum her labia again, “What do you want, Jo?” He rubbed his cock against the bed, hoping the friction will relieve some of the building tension. He lightly stroked her again. “You’re going to have to be specific.”

“Make me come.”

“More specific,” Alex teased as he leaned forward and let his breath exhale across her skin.

Emboldened by Alex’s urging, Jo huffed at him, “Make me come with your mouth. Use your fingers until I gush around you, and then fuck me until I come again.”

Alex’s attention flew directly on her clit, teasing it with his tongue as he thrust three fingers in and out, pressing against that spot that made her see stars. Jo dragged his other hand up to clench around her breast as she chanted, “Yes, yes, oh, God, Alex, there, there, fuck, Alex, I’m coming!”

She shuddered under him, coming with a spasm around his fingers. He pulled his fingers out and sat up. He yanked her by the thighs toward him. He lifted her legs up, wrapped them around his waist, and thrust himself deep into her, groaning as he felt her still clenching around him.

The moment he was inside her, it was like a once black and white world exploding with color. It was electrifying and consuming, to the point that neither Jo or Alex really dared to move out of fear of ruining this perfectly good moment. This feeling that neither one of them had experienced since the last time they were joined this way over three and a half years ago.

Jo’s thighs clenched to hold her in place and Alex leaned forward. Her insides fluttered as Alex slid both hands under her and lifted Jo so she hovered over him, gravity forcing her down on his cock. With each thrust, she rocked against him, rubbing against all of him. She whimpered and wrapped her arms around his shoulders.

Alex turned so he could sit on the edge of the bed as Jo rode him, desperate and needy. His hand slipped between them to rub against her clit as he got close to orgasm. Jo grabbed his face and sealed her lips to his in a messy kiss that tasted like her, as she climaxed again and he fell over the edge with her.

They both collapsed back against the bed, sweaty and breathless. Alex ran a hand up over her back in soothing strokes as Jo tried to catch her breath. He wasn’t not doing so hot on the breathing himself, but the softness of her skin was soothing, as is the scent of her that surrounds them along with the musty aroma of sex.

They were silent as they came back down from their highs. Neither one brave enough to voice their thoughts even though they both had the same exact thing running through their brains: holy crap.

Not because it was bad. Definitely not because it was bad. It was because it was good. Really good. Too good. It was too good, too much, too overwhelming, too intimate. It wasn’t the kind of sex you had with a one night stand or even a friend. No, this was the kind of sex you had with the person who knew you better than anyone. This was the kind of sex you had with a lover.

But Jo and Alex wouldn’t admit that. No, admitting something as cataclysmic as that would complicate things. It would put a strain on the friendship that they were still trying to carefully rebuild. So, Jo filed the feelings she was feeling away in her brain as a result of the pregnancy hormones, while Alex blamed their history and unfinished business on the sudden onset of his desire for more than this.

There wasn’t any room for feelings. Especially when neither one of them wanted to give this up. They could do it. They could separate the emotion from the action. They could be sex friends. Yes, that’s exactly what they would be: sex friends.

——————

-This love is good-

-This love is bad-

-This love is alive back from the dead, oh, oh, oh-

21 Weeks

“Hey, you okay?”

Jo looked up from her spot on her bed to see Alex standing in the doorway, arms crossed and a concerned expression on his face. She shook her head slightly, “Not really. I’m sad.”

“Well, you know I wouldn’t mind cheering you up,” Alex wiggled his eyebrows suggestively as he walked closer to the bed. “Take your mind off things for a while. I could do that thing with my tongue that you really like.”

Jo chuckled, “No, but thanks for the offer. I could really use a friend, though.”

Alex removed his shoes and laid down beside her, propping himself up on his elbow as she turned on her side to face him. Alex reached to hold her hand, “What’s going on?”

“I felt the baby kick for the first time today,” Jo’s lips twitched into a small smile. “I’ve felt her flutter before but today was the first time I actually felt her kick. She’s kicking right now if you want to feel.”

Jo positioned Alex’s hand over her belly and waited for her daughter to kick again. Seconds later, Alex was  met with a strong kick against his hand. Alex gasped excitedly and leaned down towards Jo’s stomach, “Hey baby girl Wilson. You’ve got a strong set of legs right there.”

Jo’s eyes widened as she felt another series of strong kicks, “She likes you.”

“She does, doesn’t she?” Alex turned his attention back to the spot where the kicks were coming from. “Like mother, like daughter I guess.” Alex felt a slap on his head. “Hey! It’s the truth. Anyway, be good for your momma okay? No more scares like the ones you gave us a couple months ago. And try not press on her bladder too much. Just focus on growing and getting strong. Uncle Alex can’t wait to meet you.”

Jo felt a couple tears slip down her cheeks. She was still getting used to seeing Alex like this. Sure, even before he’d always been sweet and kind to her, but this softness was definitely something she felt privileged to see. Before, he’d been more cocky and callous, arrogant and closed-off. However, peds had changed him. He lived and breathed for the children he took care of. Jo could see that clear as day. And there wasn’t one moment that went by where she didn’t feel immensely grateful for the opportunity to know this side of him as well.

Alex straightened and laid back down on the bed next to Jo, bringing her close. He ran his hand along her back and spoke, “You gonna tell me why you’re sad?”

“I just…” Jo sighed. “Feeling her kick today just made everything real. I’m having a baby and I’m going to be raising her alone.” She paused and her eyes watered. “I felt her kick today and my first instinct was to call Jason. I don’t even know why. I kind of hate him if I’m being honest. He’s one of the worst guys I’ve ever been with and that’s saying something because I have been known to have... questionable taste in men. But I felt her kick and I just—I couldn’t stop thinking about how she will never know her father. She’ll never have a father to take her to daddy-daughter dances, or protect her from the monsters under her bed, or intimidate all of her boyfriends. She’ll never have a father that shows her an example of how she should expect to be treated and respected and cared for and loved. All she’ll have is me.” Jo sniffled and wiped a straying tear. “I think back to my own childhood and think of the rejection I felt. The rejection I still feel. I never want her to feel that. But sometimes, I’m afraid I won’t be enough. That even with all my love and support, she’ll still feel like something—or someone is missing and that she’ll blame herself for that.”

“When I was a kid, all I wanted was for someone to care. It didn't matter who, just that they cared," Alex started. "My mom was sick, so most of the time, l was taking care of her and my siblings. And my dad, well let's just say that even when he was around, he might as well not have been. For a lot of time I resented him, still do if I'm being honest. But that's because even though my mom was supposed to be the one in charge, I was the single parent." Alex placed his hand on Jo's stomach again and was rewarded with another set of kicks. "This little girl is never going to know anything but love and care. She already has it so different than you or I ever had it. She’s got people in her corner and she hasn’t even been born. You may be a single mom, but that doesn't mean your family is any less whole. You can't control now she'll feel, but don't ever think that you aren't already a good enough mother."

“How the hell do you always know exactly what to say?” Jo wiped a few tears off her cheeks.

“Guess I’m just fluent in Jo Wilson,” Alex shrugged, a smile on his face.

“I missed this,” Jo whispered after a few more minutes. “All those years I was gone? I missed just talking to you and hugging you and laying down next to you. And now that I’m here and you’re here, I don’t ever want to leave again. I know I’d be okay if I moved, but I would never truly be happy. I know that now more than ever. I’d miss you too much.”

“I’d miss you too,” Alex pressed a kiss on her forehead. “But it’s a good thing I don’t plan on going anywhere anytime soon, because I plan on seeing this little girl grow up. Which reminds me of something actually.”

Alex reached to grab a bag he’d set down on the foot of the bed when he’d laid down next to Jo. He opened it and took out a green onesie that said, “ My uncle is the coolest.” He showed it Jo with a big smile on his face, “Ta da. Figured I’d buy this for her now, since I already know she’s going to prefer me to everyone else.”

“Oh my god, Alex,” Jo’s hand flew up to her mouth and she let out a laugh. “I love it. This is her first onesie.”

“Really?” Alex raised his eyebrows. “Huh, well, everything else is just going to have to try to measure up to the awesomeness of this one.”

“Shut up,” Jo grinned and rolled her eyes. “I really do love it. But why do I have a feeling that she’s actually going to like you more than she likes me?”

“What can I say? The Wilson ladies love me,” Alex smirked.

“We sure do.”

——————

-This love left a permanent mark-

-This love is glowing in the dark, oh, oh, oh-

24 Weeks

“What’s up with you?” Meredith asked as she peered through the doorway of the nursery Alex was currently painting. “Are you surprising Jo with a nursery? Is this why you called me?”

“She’s been stressed and I wanted to do something nice for her and the baby,” Alex explained as he continued to coat the walls with the light gray paint. “I read in one of those baby books that the parents left lying around in the NICU that light gray walls are supposed to calm babies and help them sleep through the night so I decided on this with teal, white, and light pink accents.”

Meredith’s jaw dropped in shock, “You decided on a paint scheme?”

“Well, I asked Kepner and Robbins for help,” Alex looked over his shoulder at his friend. “They picked out the colors and gave me pictures to go off of. I can’t paint it all by myself though, so I called you. I would’ve asked Cristina, but you know Yang isn’t going to spend her day off painting a nursery. Plus, she decided to go to that conference in Portland this weekend. Besides, you’ve got a daughter so I figured you’d know what little girls like better.”

“Alex,” Meredith sighed. “Why are you doing this? Are you trying to win her back? Because it doesn’t really work like that.”

“No, no, this has nothing to do with winning her back,” Alex waved his hand in protest. “Well, I mean it would be nice if I could win her back, but that’s not why I’m doing this.” Alex paused as he figured out what he was trying to say. “I’m just trying to be a good friend… all I can think about every time I see her, glowing and smiling as she holds her belly, is how much I screwed up. I screwed up so bad all those years ago and now she’s having another man’s baby.” Alex looked down at his hands. “All I’ve ever wanted is to be that man. To be beside her throughout the whole process, to get excited and plan for what’s to come, to cry as I hold our child in my arms for the first time. But I was stupid and I practically ripped her heart out, and now she’s too afraid to go any further with me. Because it’s not just her anymore. She’s got a daughter to think about now. Her daughter will always come first. And that’s how it should be. I just… I wish Jo was having our daughter.”

Meredith placed a hand on Alex’s shoulder, “You really never stopped loving her.”

“Nope,” Alex let out a breath. “And this… arrangement or whatever we have going on is great. Really. It’s fun and it feels like us. But I want so much more, Mer. I want everything with her and I can’t have everything because I was a dumbass.”

“Give her time,” Meredith ran a comforting hand between his shoulder blades. “She loves you. I know that much. Don’t try too hard. Just keep being Alex, and one day hopefully she’ll want more. Now, give me a paint brush so I can get started on the accent wall. We don't need you messing up the lines and smudging the paint."

Alex rolled his eyes and handed Meredith a brush, "Shut up and get to work."

Five hours and a few arguments later, Alex and Meredith were putting the finishing touches on the new nursery as they waited for Jo's arrival.

"Do you think she'll like it?" Alex fidgeted nervously as he stared at the completed space. "You don't think it's too much right?"

"Alex, calm down," Meredith chuckled. "She's going to love it."

"You think? You don't think she'll be upset that I did it all without her?"

"Are you kidding?" Meredith laughed. "Jo loves surprises. She's also six months pregnant and is a blubbering emotional, hormonal mess half the time. She's going to cry happy tears when she realizes there is one less thing on her plate. As a fellow pregnant, hormonal lady, I think this just might get you laid."

“Shut up,” Alex finally let out a laugh that settled his nerves. “Okay, get out of here. She’s gonna be here in a few minutes and see your car in the driveway.”

“Okay, okay, I’m leaving,” Meredith grabbed her things and headed towards the front door. She was about to step outside when she turned to look at her friend. “Alex.”

Alex looked at Meredith expectantly, “What is it?”

“I’m proud of you,” Meredith said, a playful smile on her face. “You’re acting very grown up.”

Alex could feel the blush make its way on his face as his lips curled into a bashful grin, “Stop it.”

“Let me know how it goes!”

Alex watched Meredith leave and moved to sit on the couch. He waited anxiously for Jo to arrive home. He jumped up when he saw her car finally make its way up the driveway. Alex was waiting by the door when she walked in, “Hey.”

“Hi,” Jo looked at him strangely. “What’s going on with you?”

“I have something to show you. A surprise,” Alex breathed out.

“A surprise?” Jo raised an eyebrow. “Ooh! Is it that ice cream that I’ve been craving all week?”

“No, it’s not ice cream,” Alex shook his head in amusement. “It’s upstairs.”

“Okay…” Jo observed him for a moment. “Well then, lead the way.”

Jo followed Alex closely as he guided her up the stairs to the bedroom that had been sitting empty for the past few months. Alex placed his hand on the doorknob, “So, I did something and I don’t know… maybe you’ll love it, maybe you’ll hate it. Anyway, I worked hard on it and I hope that it’s everything you could’ve dreamed of.”

Jo gasped as Alex opened the door to the guest room—now nursery. She stepped in and spent the next few minutes taking it all in. Tears collected in her eyes as she walked around the room and traced her hands along the edge of the walls, the crib, the rocking chair, the changing table, the twin bed in the corner for her to use during the first weeks after the baby was born, and the various other pieces that Alex had purchased in an effort to prepare the room.

“You did this all by yourself?” Jo asked after a few minutes of just staring at all his hard work in awe.

“It was my idea, but I had some help,” Alex shuffled his feet awkwardly. “Kepner and Robbins helped me pick the color scheme, Cristina bought the rocking chair, Hunt gave me the day off, Meredith helped me paint and put the furniture together. It was a team effort.”

Jo lurched forward and wrapped her arms around his neck, hugging him tightly, “Thank you.” Jo whispered tenderly and wiped a couple tears. “I can’t believe you do this for me. For us.” Jo placed a hand on her swollen stomach. “No one has ever done anything like this for me before.”

“I want you guys to have everything,” Alex’s flit back and forth between Jo’s mouth and eyes. “You deserve all this and more. Both of you do. I swear, as long as I’m around, my goddaughter is never going to want for anything. Because between you and me, she’s gonna be spoiled rotten.”

Jo was about to say something when they were interrupted by the doorbell. Alex straightened and walked downstairs, “I’ll get it. Why don’t you take a shower and relax? I’ll order takeout from that restaurant down the street while you get comfortable.”

Jo nodded quietly and made her way to the bathroom to get showered. For weeks now, Jo had been fighting with herself and her feelings towards Alex. Her resolve was slowly wearing down and in truth, it had been since the moment she’d arrived back in Seattle. Everything within her burned for Alex. And the sex arrangement they’d had going on for the past two months certainly did not help matters. Because as much as Jo tried to convince herself that it had to be the hormones making her feel this way, it was never just sex with Alex.

It had always been so much more—at least on her part. Every time she kissed him, every time she touched him, every time she laid in bed beside him, waiting until he fell asleep so she could leave, Jo found herself getting lost in the daydreams, thinking about what life would be life if she were just a little braver and gave into what her heart wanted more than anything.

Because it was true. She wanted Alex and a life with Alex more than anything. But Jo was afraid to allow herself to fall for him completely again because she knew how hard it was the last time when it ended. The last time hurt like hell. The last time, she ended up leaving Seattle. The last time, she lost a part of herself. The fear of things ending like they did the last time was almost always enough to reel her back in and sway her to decide against going any further with the man she was sure was the love of her life. This time though, she wasn’t so sure it would be enough.

Finishing her shower and burying those thoughts in the back of her mind, Jo toweled off and put on a pair of sweatpants and one of the old tshirts she’d stolen from Alex when her belly outgrew hers. She threw her damp hair into a half-hazard braid and made her way down the hall. Pausing in the doorway of the new nursery, Jo smiled again. Not seeing Alex inside, she walked out into the hallway and called out his name.

“Alex?”

“In here.”

Jo turned down the hall toward his bedroom, hearing the shuffling of a couple items as she neared the door, “Hey, who was that at the door earlier?”

Alex looked over his shoulder, “Oh it was the delivery truck. This came in a little late, so I’m setting it up now.”

Finally setting her gaze on what he was working on, Jo sucked in a surprised gasp. There in front of her very eyes, Alex was setting up the bassinet in his room.

Unsure of the meaning of his actions, Jo spoke, “What’s this?”

“Oh, I—uh, I bought it so I could help you when the baby is here. You know, in case you ever want to take a break or just need a goodnight’s sleep, I can help with the baby too,” Alex shrugged, looking up at her as if the words that he’d just spoken so nonchalantly were of little importance. “It’s a pretty cool bassinet too. One of the nurses in peds recommended it to me. You know Marissa? The one with five kids? She told me that—”

Alex’s voice faded into the background as Jo became lost in thought. This can’t be real. Guys don’t just do these things for their friends. Jo felt herself become increasingly emotional as she processed the significance of Alex’s actions. He’s all in with me. He’s all in with this baby that’s not even his. He’s here and he hasn’t left and he’s not going to leave because he loves me. That may have been the most startling realization. It really shouldn’t have been that surprising that Alex had never stopped loving her, not for one moment. But for some reason, Jo felt her heart swell at the knowledge that all this time, he’d just been waiting patiently for her to let him know when she was ready for more.

Realizing that Alex was still speaking, Jo looked back up at his stupid, perfect, beautiful face and opened her mouth to try express the rush of emotions that had just hit her like a thousand bricks. Rendered speechless, Jo did what she knew best. She showed him.

Jo interrupted Alex’s nervous rambling by placing both hands on his face and pressing her head against his own. She took a deep breath and stared deeply into Alex’s confused eyes. Mustering up what little courage she had left, Jo leaned forward and kissed him.

Despite his initial surprise, Alex reciprocated quickly. His arms wrapped around her body quickly, pulling her to him as closely as he could possibly get. Sure, they’d kissed before, but this was different. This kiss wasn’t just a result of built up sexual tension or lust. This kiss was pure love, passion, devotion, and emotion all rolled up into one. He was practically thrumming with awe at the sensation and demonstrated every ounce of his love for her in that kiss as he could.

When they finally pulled away, Alex looked at her with a puzzled expression on his face. He watched as Jo opened and closed her mouth dumbly a few times before interjecting, “You okay there? You look a little speechless. I mean, I know I'm a great kisser but it’s nice to get that validation every once in a while.” Alex smirked as his little quip eased the tension between them, immediately making Jo feel more comfortable.

“Alex,” Jo breathed out a laugh and felt tears prickle at her eyes. “Why would you do all of this for me?”

“Why wouldn’t I?”

Jo looked at the sincerity in his eyes and left her own pool with water, “You didn’t have to.”

“I know,” Alex nodded. “I wanted to. Because… I love you, Jo. You know that.”

“I don’t deserve it,” Jo wiped a tear that had made its way down her cheek.

“Of course you do,” Alex’s hands found her stomach and rested comfortably on her bump. “You and this baby deserve all the love in the world. There isn’t anything you could do that would make me want to stop loving you.”

Jo let out a sob, “There’s something I need to tell you. Something that I’ve been wanting to say for months now, but I was never brave enough to say it. I want to be brave now.”

“You know that you can tell me anything,” Alex’s eyes bored into hers intensely.

“Okay… I’m, uh… I𑁋” Jo stuttered awkwardly.

“I don’t hear anything,” Alex chuckled as Jo struggled to find the words.

“Shut up!” Jo looked at him exasperatedly. “I’m freaking out enough as it is.”

“Okay, but𑁋”

“I’m serious,” Jo pouted, prompting Alex to laugh.

“Fine,” Alex schooled his expression and waited until she found her voice again.

“I love you,” Jo confessed, heart racing wildly inside her chest. “I’m in love with you, Alex. I’ve been in love with you ever since that first night when you kissed me in the rain outside Joe’s bar after we passed our intern exams. I’ve loved you since then and I haven’t stopped loving you. Yes, you hurt me more than anyone ever has, but you’ve also loved me more than anyone I’ve ever known. And it's not just a fleeting love, it's pure love. It’s a true love. It’s all the things I had always dreamed of as a little girl. I won’t pretend it’s been easy loving you, because loving you isn’t something I just fell into. It was a choice I made, a choice I continue to make every single day because loving you comes to me as natural as breathing. I can’t seem to let go of our past promises and dreams, so I want the chance to realize our forever. And I want to try, but I mean, actually try this time. No more messing around or pretending like we're content with just being friends. I want more with you Alex. All I know is I want you just because you’re you and we’re us. I want everything with you.”

Alex’s face soon mirrored Jo’s as tears began to fall from his eyes. He pressed their foreheads together, noses brushing against each other. He closed his eyes, “I love you. I love you. I love you.” Alex laughed joyfully. “I love you so much that sometimes I have to remind myself to breathe. Throughout my life I’ve been with a lot of nobodies, but you’re not a nobody. You’re my person. You’re the love of my life. And yeah, I probably sound like the stupidest, cheesiest, guy on the face of the earth right now, but I don’t care. I don’t care if I look like a fool. I’ll look like the biggest idiot on the planet if it meant that you’d finally understand how much I love you. How much I want you. How much I need you. I need you, Jo and I don’t ever want to be without you.”

Despite the tears currently running down her face, Jo smiled shyly, “So, is this what I think it is? Does this mean we’re trying?”

“Hell yes,” Alex kissed her soundly. “It’s you and me against the world from now on.”

They were interrupted by a round of kicks against their palms, causing the two of them to laugh. Alex knelt down in front of Jo’s bump, “I’m sorry, Baby Wilson. What I meant was me, your mom and you against the world.”

Alex’s response to Jo’s belly garnered another kick. Jo rolled her eyes, “Oh gosh. She really does like you better than she likes me.”

“She’s just jealous,” Alex smirked. “I have that effect on the ladies.”

Jo laughed, “Shut up.”

“Make me,” Alex challenged, a mischievous glint in his eye.

“You’re gonna regret having said that,” Jo warned as she pushed him over to the bed.

“You know, I don’t think I will.”

-These hands had to let it go free, and-

-This love came back to me, oh, oh, oh-

Were you expecting any of what just happened? Lol let me know what you thought and anything you like to see. Also, send me baby name suggestions!

[blouisparadise]

Upon request, we’ve added to our friends to lovers rec list. You can find part one here and there will also be a part three (and possibly a part four!) up eventually, which will be linked here when it’s been posted. We hope you enjoy these fics! Happy reading.

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Where Louis gets a little crush on Luke and for some reason Harry starts acting weird.

11) Break Open The Sky | Explicit | 20372 words

Werewolf AU. Harry might be a werewolf, but he still wants to experience Uni like everyone else. Turns out he learns a lot.

12) Runnin’ Like You Did | Explicit | 20061 words

The college AU where Louis knows how to hold a grudge and is definitely not in love with Harry Styles.

13) UN(RE)SOLVED. | Explicit | 20873 words

The ghoul boys are back, but this time around there are some unresolved feelings involved. Harry is a skeptic, Louis is not. Watch them go on their ongoing investigation into the question: are ghosts real?

14) Hats Off To My Distant Hope | Explicit | 20990 words

Harry is in White Eskimo. Louis is in London.

15) The Way The Storms Blow | Explicit | 20649 words

Louis doesn’t have a habit of thinking about Harry’s dick.

That would be weird, seeing as they’re best mates, and they share a flat, and they’ve spent holidays at each other’s family homes. Their friendship hasn’t ever risen to a point where Louis should want to see his mate’s dick, and he’s happy to keep it that way.

Except, all that Louis can think about is exactly that. The size of it. The shape. The amount of people it’s been in.

Maybe it’s the tequila talking, or the fact that Louis’ just recently walked in to an eyeful of Harry taking turns on some slags that he’s never seen before, but. Louis’ mind can’t stop obsessing over the idea.

16) Love Like Wildfire | Explicit | 21774 words

Louis was an Omega and a Prefect. Harry was an Alpha and a little rascal. They were mates, drawn to each other since they first met in the Hogwarts Express. They worked well like that, or at least they tried, which only made their relationship way more interesting.

17) Indestructible | Explicit | 24423 words

“Hi,” Harry murmurs, and Louis hiccups out a sob.

“Hi,” he manages, still clutching onto Harry’s shoulders. Harry’s fingers drift across Louis’ cheeks, and there’s something off about Harry’s expression, but Louis can’t figure out what it is.

“I’m okay,” Harry says, and Louis is going to say something to that, even if he doesn’t know what, except Harry’s kissing him.

Louis freezes.

18) A Whole New World | Not Rated | 24967 words

Louis has moved into his new apartment to start his new job as a teacher. Things would be great. If only his arsehole neighbour didn't wake him up every morning by playing piano.

19) Another Day Gettin’ Into Trouble | Explicit | 25619 words

Harry’s drunk when the idea occurs to him. He’s also a pop star, so sometimes his drunk ideas turn into actual things instead of just ideas. The clone-a-willy kit is one of them.

In Harry’s defense, when he first thinks about it his intention is just to buy the kit and give it to Louis to make his own dildo with, because that’s what he wants anyway, right? To have a penis filling him up?

Then he realizes that it would be weird if Louis made a copy of his own dick to fuck himself with. It’d be super weird. Louis fucking himself? That’s a weird idea. Harry’s pretty sure Louis wouldn’t like that.

Clearly the only solution here is to use his own dick for the mold.

20) Brooklyn Saw Me | Explicit | 28537 words

In the cold and unforgiving city of New York, Louis doesn't have a home and Harry wants to give him one. But as their heartstrings become increasingly intertwined, and the snow continues to fall, home is getting harder and harder to find.

21) Rivers ‘Til I Reach You | Explicit | 29315 words

AU. Louis studies astronomy; Harry studies Louis. They spend their summers on the water and it shouldn't be complicated (spoiler: it is).

22) If Ignorance Be Bliss | Mature | 30429 words

Uni AU: Harry is too experienced, and Louis just wants to get to experience him.

23) Blind From This Sweet, Sweet Craving | Explicit | 31170 words

"So, I guess we'll go?" Louis asks later, when Harry has calmed down and eaten his weight in Chinese food. He plays with this chopsticks, spearing another piece of chicken and pops it in his mouth. "I mean, I wouldn't mind. We could make it an adventure."

Harry observes him, watches him seated across from him on their old living room carpet, with a container of food on his lap. He's fidgeting, avoiding meeting Harry's gaze–he probably knows that Harry's mad at him for ruining the one chance they had to get out of this situation. And he's not wrong, Harry is definitely very mad. Harry wants to strangle him and castrate him and smack him upside the head.

But he's also Harry's best friend, and despite everything, despite all the fuck-ups and the plot twists and everything just not playing out the way it should, he'd still rather be stuck in this situation with Louis than any of the other boys. He's got Harry's back, and in a weird, abstract way, he knows they'll be able to get out of this situation, together.

Harry sighs. "We're going," he says resignedly, his shoulders slumping.

Oh well. There are definitely worse ways to spend the weekend than pretending to be engaged to his best friend.

24) Welcome Back From The Friend Zone | Mature | 32354 words

The one where an idea to create a fake wedding with the sole intent to receive gifts from billionaires took a turn no one, but also everyone, saw coming.

25) The List | Mature | 32074 words

'In the weeks that follow, Harry opens his old journal more than he has in the past two years each time he remembers Venice or thinks about Louis. He always flips to the same random page in the middle of the book, marked by the picture of himself that Louis sent him a few days after they got home. There’s a message on the back that says, ‘Spontaneous looks good on you! See you soon,’ and it makes Harry’s chest warm each time he reads it. He wedges their list out from between the worn pages, and it feels silly staring down at a folded up piece of paper with a strange sense of nostalgia for experiences they’ve yet to have; for places they’ve never even been.'

26) Mark My Word (We Gon’ Be Alright) | Explicit | 35524 words

An A/B/O AU featuring an oblivious Harry as the pack leader, a pining Louis as his second-in-command, and an entourage of friends and family who are a little too good at keeping their mouths shut.

27) The Sun Will Rise With My Name On Your Lips | Explicit | 37927 words

When Eleanor breaks up with Louis he finds it hard to keep pretending that Harry isn’t what he’s wanted since the day he first met him.

28) Runner On Third | Explicit | 39643 words

Note: The sequel to this fic is not BL.

The AU where Louis and Harry were best friends growing up, but lost touch after Harry moved away. Ten years later, Harry has moved back to town, but he and Louis don't pick up where they left off.

29) My Sweetest Downfall | Mature | 42048 words

Louis is a retired guardian angel. After the death of his last charge, he became jaded. Humans die—what use is prolonging the inevitable?

He's more than happy to forget about humanity altogether until one day, when Louis is pulled from his desk job for a new assignment: protect One Direction's Harry Styles. It doesn't help that there's something about Harry that Louis can't resist, and it's making him question everything he's ever known. Humans are strictly off limits, and breaking that rule means risking everything, but Harry just might be worth it.

This is a story about forgiveness and discovery, featuring an angel who wants to be a little more human and a human who is so much more than he seems.

30) For the Sake of Propriety | Mature | 52360 words

Louis Tomlinson is the caretaker of an estate that is not truly his, and when his Uncle calls upon him to take it back, Louis knows he will soon be out on the streets with four overly zealous sisters to care for.  His only solution: wed the eldest two off and pray for the best.  When an even better solution unexpectedly presents itself in the form of the charming Mr. Styles, Louis is faced with a difficult choice.  But as with all things in the regency era, reputation very well may threaten to outweigh the fleeting matters of his heart.

31) The Bachelor | Explicit | 53953 words

The one where Harry dates six other guys and still falls in love with Louis Tomlinson.

32) We’ve Got the World in Our Hands | Explicit | 54964 words

Note: This fic has been locked and can only be read by AO3 users.

A mutants/superpowers AU. Louis and his friends attend the Cowell Institute for General Education and Mutant Training in London; when Louis meets Harry, the newest student at the Cowell Institute, he immediately recruits Harry to help play matchmaker for his friend Zayn. Harry and Louis are so caught up in meddling in Zayn's love life, though, that they don't notice that their own friendship is progressing into something more. Meanwhile, an ominous threat up north grows slowly until suddenly, no mutant - or human - is safe.

33) Waiting For The Tides To Meet | Explicit | 49873 words

Soulmate AU. Everyone is born with heterochromia — one eye is their own eye colour, while the other is the colour of their soulmate's. It's only when they meet their soulmate for the first time that their own eyes match properly. After a hazy night at a frat party, Louis wakes up to blue eyes and the shocking realization that he had met his soulmate, without any sober recollection. Seven years pass where Louis comes to terms with the fact that he'll never know who his soulmate is. Then one fated summer, a beautiful green-eyed photographer arrives at Louis' workplace, with promises of endless laughter and a familiar feeling in Louis' heart.

34) Since I’ve Found You | Mature | 74005 words

Louis woke up on the morning he was meant to volunteer at the Feed the Homeless program at St. Mary's church hoping for an opportunity to give back a little to a city that has given him everything he could ever want. Little did he know, there was one more great thing waiting there for him; a boy with radiant green eyes in a weathered jacket and a beat-up backpack slung over his shoulders.

35) Saving Symphony Hall | Mature | 124766 words

Note: This fic is a sequel to this fic.

“I think I have an idea,” Louis said. Slowly, and reluctantly, but with a growing sense of the inevitable. “God damnit, I think I have a really good idea.”

“Oh christ, that's the problem-solving face,” Babs said. “Last time we saw that face, he sold a company.”

“Wait, what?” Zayn asked.

“Right place, right time,” Louis said. “Also, fuck my life,”

“What?” Zayn repeated. Niall patted his hand.

“I usually just roll with whatever Louis is about to do,” he said. “It’s better for us all.”

“That’s the attitude,” said Louis, “I’ll tell you tomorrow. Tonight, I need to do some research. Zayn, give me your number. I’m gonna save our symphony.”

36) Falling Into You | Mature | 143517 words

In the grand scheme of adolescence and boyhood, Harry was still working himself out, so far with little luck. But four things he could say for certain: 1) he'd been at the top of his class all through primary and secondary school, 2) he was the shittiest alpha to ever walk the earth, 3) Liam Payne never let him forget it, and 4) he’d been in love with this boy, Louis Tomlinson, ever since he was fifteen years old.

Check out our other fic rec lists by category here and by title here.

[eponymous-rose]

Talks Machina Highlights - Critical Role C2E96 (February 25, 2020)

Tonight’s guests are Taliesin Jaffe and Liam O’Brien!

Announcements: The Chicago live show and C2E2 are imminent! The live show will be on Thursday night, but an hour earlier than usual, at 6 PM Pacific/8 PM Central! Liam will be at the live show, but unfortunately has to leave C2E2 early and won’t be able to make it on Sunday. On Friday, the first behind-the-scenes video for The Legend of Vox Machina animated series was posted on YouTube, introducing the writing team!

Episode 96: Family Shatters

Stats for this week’s episode! Of the 16 times Caleb has cast Teleportation Circle, the M9 have remembered to contact someone prior to their arrival 7 times. Of those 7 times, they were successful at contacting someone at the location only 3. Taliesin: “We’re playing this game like Skyrim, we’re just going through people’s houses breaking pottery.” Caduceus got the straw hat that he gave to Clarabelle in episode 31, about 188 in-game days ago. There were 17 cow-related puns. Dani: “Is that above or below average for a Critical Role episode?”

“Clay was kind of built relatively quickly. I didn’t give Matt a ton to play with. I gave him the order in which they left, I gave him Clay’s attitude and his impression of his family members, which was usually just one sentence, and some basic idea of what their power set might be if they had one. I always thought of him as, from a family perspective, of what would have happened to Percy if nothing went wrong.” He was happy to be the one to run the family business and just hang around at home and run the shrine. “I think the rest of the kids’ wanderlust probably put them at odds quite a bit.” He liked being able to play that conflict and show what Caduceus was like when he was annoyed. Cad took after his father, the girls generally wanted to leave, and Colton is “just sort of a doofus.”

Caleb was an only child, so seeing this many kids was a lot. “They clearly had their grudges and their different dynamics with each other, but that’s normal, for sure. Caleb’s very unfamiliar with it.” He also keeps looking at Nott and thinking about how everything he’s doing is about wanting to rebuild his family, whereas Nott is so conflicted about going back to hers. “He doesn’t understand it, but he doesn’t want to push it” or judge her for it. “I thought I had a really defined direction at the start of the campaign, but my seven best friends have knocked it silly.”

What’s keeping Cad with the Nein? “Caduceus is not ready to go home at all. He’s not done with his walkabout. He feels like he wants to see a bit more. He feels he has an intense debt to pay. He feels he has a mission to see everybody else through, at the very least. Or at least he’s telling himself that. So he’s saved his home, or at least he thinks he’s saved his home, and his family’s all right, so now it’s debts that must be paid. He’s not somebody who thinks you can just get off the bus.”

“Caleb was going to ask [the hag] about the ability to travel backward through time, not really believing that she could do that, but was still like, show me what you’ve got.” Even if she’d said it, he would have thought she was a liar. “Probably would’ve offered to kill the M9″ in exchange, then would’ve turned around to hit her with a surprise Disintegrate. Liam notes repeatedly that nothing could possibly have been as cool as what Laura wound up doing.

On the Nein not worrying about places Cad considered sacred ground, Caduceus “is fine with conflict. He doesn’t even really have to have conflict, he could assert himself if he were so inclined. It’s that he’s aware that there are limits to what these people can do. It’s very much the philosophy of ‘children and drunks can do no wrong’.” He’s picking his battles.

Was there a defining moment where Caleb started seeing the Nein as family? No single moment. “It’s like love by a thousand cuts.” Liam notes that he’s still not sure how Caleb would react if he suddenly had the means to carry out his plans. “He’s got the recovering-addict mentality.”

Cosplay of the Week: an amazing Pumat! (CriticalHitical, photo by Minniemooncos on Twitter)

Taliesin notes that Caduceus is definitely feeling more connected to the group. “If anything, Caduceus is really embracing his role as the spiritual guide to the group. He feels like he really has a lot to offer from that perspective of being the roving therapist. Or at least, he thinks he’s a roving therapist.” Liam notes that Cad is the most mysterious of the group to Caleb. “He’s the most religious character I’ve ever played, too. He’s fun! He really came together very nicely.”

On Caleb being more lighthearted on occasion: “He’s been out of practice being a human being for a long time.” The Nein’s brand of ridiculousness is rubbing off on him.

Why hasn’t Cad been pranking the Nein? “They don’t treat him poorly in that way yet. Siblings, man. I have quite a few siblings, and there is an energy. It’s the same way like when you’re around your parents, you revert to a 15-year-old.” Same with siblings. “There’s just something-- just the urge to torture them is so overpowering.” The moment he got the whistle, he knew exactly what he was going to do with it. Liam was reminded of Taliesin’s real-life siblings while watching these interactions in the game.

On Caleb’s laying on compliments for the Traveler: “The thing about time travel is it’s so implausible. It’s so implausible that I could see us finishing this campaign and Caleb will still have it in the back of his head for the rest of his life. But maybe Artagan could help with that. He certainly sees the potential in Artagan, and it was a balance between wanting to support everything Jester has devoted her life to, so it just felt like everyone was ready to write it off. Life is often like this, life isn’t what you thought it would be, it is what it is. Let’s not damn this yet, let’s feel it out. And if I can use this situation to possibly eradicate ultimate evil, that’s a win.”

Cad found it tough to have family and friends in the same room and play both roles. “I don’t know how much it came across that he was trying to keep them, not necessarily separated, but ‘family, guys, guys, family, ANYWAY.’” He did want to get his family on their way as quickly as possible. Cad is the equivalent of his early 20s, so something like 85-120 years old for a firbolg. 

Liam is asked about the conversation between Caleb and Yasha on watch several episodes ago. "You know what one of the best parts of that scene that played out was, is about 20 minutes or 30 minutes before that happened, I texted Ashley at the table and said, ‘Want to take watch? I have nothing planned, it could be fun.’” He wasn’t expecting it to go that far. “I think he had such an extreme reaction because he felt that he had done a good job of hiding things, and he was suddenly worried that he was transparent, that everyone had been able to read him this whole time when he’d thought that he was-- well, he’s a little in love with Jester Lavorre, and has been for a while, uselessly in love with her. The waltz was probably a little pebble. And in that moment-- this doesn’t play out verbally too much in the show, but he just was worried that this thing that he’s never going to admit to because it’s useless, she’s finding herself, and has her whole life ahead of her, and has other people around her who care about her and are a whole lot better for her than he is. And he’s aware of the way those two [Fjord and Beau] feel as well. It’s just there in the background fucking up his shit. It’s really just a problem. Big fucking problem.” 

Fan art of the week: a gorgeous Clay family portrait! (by Teaweltzer on Twitter)

On Clay being absent for the renewal of his home: “I don’t think his arc’s ending off-screen. I think his arc ends when he comes home to see what’s become of it.”

Is Caleb worried about Beau since the confrontation with her father? “Of course he is. She’s ignoring all the advice that she gave him. He doesn’t like to see her that hard on herself when she’s so competent and probably the backbone of the group. It’s the most judgey Caleb’s been of anybody, really, but he’s very aware of the pain of family and personal stuff. She knows her, and even though he broke his shit in half, he could still see the dynamic in the room when we visited his family, so he feels for her. We need you and we love you and we will miss you, you don’t fucking get to go.”

Each of the temples has a secondary god; what was the Blooming Grove’s other god? “The Blooming Grove is for the Archeart because it is a gift of beauty. It’s the Allhammer, the Changebringer, and the Archeart. It’s kind of a powerplay from the Wildmother, in my opinion. They’re all three based off of very specific types of funereal practices that are common throughout the world.”

Caleb saw giving over the transformation spell to Essek as a returning of one of his many favors. “Caleb likes Essek a lot. They’re like two highly gifted kids at school together. And, you know, he’s quirkily charming and handsome. There’s just no reason not to, in his mind. Outside of the M9, he’s probably the only person that Caleb would see as a friend that he’s made. Everyone else is just sort of scenery around the M9.”

What’s next for Cad? “It’s a little bit of finding himself, or at least finishing himself would be the way to put it.” (cue snickering from off-camera) “He’s also vaguely aware of some of the things that are going to possibly emotionally damage the party on the horizon, and he wants to be ready to deal with, in vague order, whatever’s going to happen to Jester, and then whatever’s going to happen to Fjord, and then whatever’s going to happen to Nott, and Yasha, and Caleb. He doesn’t know how to deal with what Beau’s going through. It’s the one thing he has no experience of, because he has no experience with that family dynamic. When he met people with that family dynamic, it was always at the end of it.”

Some fans sent in death whistles. Brian encourages Taliesin to play one on the plane.

The hat for Calliope was a last-minute thought. The flute could also have gone for Colton, depending on “who I could sneak up on”.

Caleb took a symbol of the Archeart from the Labenda Swamp. “I think it was familiar to me. I think I might have either correctly or mistakenly thought it reminded me of the woman who helped Caleb in the Sanatorium.”

[timextoxhajima]

Playlist Feels

Part 1: Crying In The Club

Member: Juyeon (ft. Hyunjae/changmin????)

Genre: idk man. angst/chill/slice of life/fluff????? irdk 

A/N: this was requested. no, i’m not like, posting/asking openly for requests BUT if you happen to see this, then you’re in luck. the only reason why i haven’t opened for requests is because i don’t have a large pool of followers, so if you like my style of writing and you have faith in me (because i’m not the greatest writer out there), feel free to drop me a dm/ask. i’m currently writing for tbz/nct/ateez/maybe txt idk, if you’re really interested, we can work something out :D

A/N part 2: i’m a very emotional (?) person when it comes to writing (otherwise i’m a stone cold bitch lol), so when i was asked if i could write a part 2 to this juyeon piece, i was quite surprised. the first reason being: i didn’t think the request would be for this particular piece of work for juyeon, because it got like 8 notes at the point of time i got the ask. the second reason is that i wrote the first part for me to release my feelings. whatever i wrote in the first part mirrors my feelings/situation in real life (yeah, i may or may not be worried about an ex-boyfriend stalking me welp, and yeah i may or may not have caught feelings for someone i know who stays in my dorm. unfortunately, it’s only in my imagination that he comes to my rescue, ha.). i just found it very mysterious (?) and strange about all these coincidences and it also made me really happy that people enjoy reading what i write :D

to the person who requested this, i hope you won’t be disappointed!

“what?”  your friend nearly screams in your face. thank god the drinking crowd doesn’t come in until around 10pm, else the whole bar would be looking at the both of you. “like-- the lee juyeon? the one that’s got a fucking billion girls on his tail? and he kissed you?”

you look up over the rim of your spectacles and the edge of your laptop screen, and your friend completely loses it at the sight of your face that was void of emotion.

“the hell’s wrong with you?! didn’t you confess to the man like, a month ago? now, he’s god done kissed you, stayed over in your room when your crazy, psycho ex-boyfriend’s following you, and you have no feelings or opinion to account for that?” 

your eyes were half-hooded from the cider, though not nearly enough to even make you tipsy, it was enough to make your eyelids droop a little lower than if you were wide awake. 

“just because i liked him, doesn’t mean i need to warrant him any more attention. i’m too tired of this stuff anyway, especially with what happened to the relationship with my crazy, psycho ex-boyfriend,” you say with a lack of affection, only looking back to your laptop screen and resuming your furious typing. your friend has her hands on both sides of her face, nearly squishing all her features while she stares wide-eyed at you. 

it felt so long ago that juyeon kissed you for the sake of scaring your stalker away, when it was merely a week ago. since then, you prayed every day not to run into juyeon or your stalker. 

thank god you’ve seen neither. your prayers have been heard. 

“whatever happened with your crazy ex-boyfriend shouldn’t have anything to do with whatever you want to do with your feelings now. are you really going to let him ruin your chances of being with freakin’ lee juyeon?”

“easy for you to say, you weren’t the one being threatened and stalked,” you retorted, not even bothering to look at her. you were lucky your friend knew the whole story, because any other person would’ve shut you down for being so rude and blunt. truth was, she knew you were emotionally exhausted, to the point where you were emotionally unavailable. even if lee juyeon really had a thing for you, it was going to take a lot of effort to encourage you to try building something out of a relationship with one of the school’s most popular boys. 

you hear her sigh before finishing her own bottle of cider. 

“i just want my feelings for juyeon to go away. i don’t want anything to do with the man, not when he’s got so many girls after him, not when i obviously don’t stand a chance at winning him over even if i was interested.”

your friend glares at you, with the words “really?” printed into her forehead. 

“i’m not even gonna bother anymore. you do what you want with juyeon,” you smile at her final announcement to leave the case. you watch with softer eyes, your arms perched on the table and your chin resting on your clasped hands while she packed her stuff. “but mark my words, if it’s anything i know, lee juyeon doesn’t go around kissing people.”

you roll your eyes, pulling away from the table as she picks up her bag. 

“haven’t we established that he only did it because i was being followed--”

“my girl, you don’t get a say in this. you’re too emotionally occupied... or shut down, to see what’s really happening. but from what my cousin tells me, juyeon’s not the kind to offer such intimate acts to people he doesn’t know well. that, you can trust my cousin.” 

you bare your teeth in disgust at her final blow. if she hadn’t reminded you, you would’ve forgotten that changmin, who was part of juyeon’s popular boy clique, was a cousin of hers. 

“i gotta bolt, you have fun and please don’t go back too late. i doubt juyeon’s going to magically appear again at one thirty in the morning to save your ass,” she looks back over her shoulder and raises a brow at you. nodding your head gently, you wave her off.

you mirror your friend’s actions from before and press your hands to the sides of your face, your fingers pressing against your temple. you shut your eyes gently, listening to the soft ‘clink clanks’ from the counter near the kitchen, and the soft shuffle and distant talking from other students in the bar. 

“lee juyeon doesn’t go around kissing people”

you shake yourself out of it, drinking some water before resuming your work on your laptop. whatever your friend said about you being emotionally unavailable was true, but you had no clue how to get over it, and frankly, even if you did know how, it was going to take a lot of courage and a lot of patience.

you work on your stuff for about an hour, making a deal with yourself to head back to your room before midnight while the bar would be at its busiest. you thank the student staff who recognised you from the previous week, pulling out your phone from your pocket and empty-mindedly scrolling through your social media. 

then, someone calls out to you. 

instantly, all the blood rushes from every part of your body and into your chest. that voice... there was no way you were ever going to forget it. 

your grip on your phone gets tighter, and your heart begins to race. your mind screams ‘run’ but your body reacts exactly like how every dumb white girl acts in a horror movie. 

“i was wondering where you’ve been. i didn’t think you’d be back here after... well, last week,” you hear him scoff, and the sound of his shoes against the floor translates into a smaller gap between the two of you. “smart move, i must say. big reverse-psyche move right there.”

your breathing gets heavier, and your eyes were no longer tired from the alcohol. the fact that he was standing right behind you was making you feel trapped, and even though you could’ve taken off in any direction, the memory of what he did completely rendered your ability to move, useless. 

“i don’t want to see you again, please. i stand by what i said last year, i’ll ruin your fucking life if i see you again.”

you take a step forward, but he grabs your arm from behind, harshly pulling you around so you were facing him. 

nothing about him changed. his facial features, his height, his hair might’ve grown a little longer, but the look that you stole your will to love was still in his eyes. you wince as you try to pull away, but he doesn’t budge.

“ruin my life?” he smirks, and it makes you want to slap him across the face. “sure, but not after i ruin yours too.”

you felt your gut twisting like crazy inside of you, and your legs were losing their energy to even let you stand. you wince at his tightening grip on your forearm, and all you wanted to do was to kick him in the nuts, but you just couldn’t move. 

“you’ve already ruined mine...” you quietly inform, remembering the feeling of being completely worthless, completely destroyed by him. “why are you doing this? you’ve already ruined my life, what benefit do you get from it?” 

“oh?” his eyes widen, and a smug look pulls up on his face. “what about that kiss in the lift last week? didn’t he sleep over as well? i was there till four am, and he never left the building. i thought you’ve already moved on.”

you grit your teeth as both anger and fear runs through your blood. 

you open your mouth, ready to hurl a string of vulgarities at him and protest against him being the world’s worst person, but someone beats you to it.

“pretty sure she already did, man.”

the psycho looks up from you and looks over your head, the smug smile completely wiped away and was replaced with a look of despise and anger. 

you shut your eyes tightly, sucking your lips in between your teeth as you tilt your head like you were in pain. 

it was hyunjae’s voice, and there was an almost close to zero possibility that he wasn’t with juyeon.

“mind letting my girl go?” 

there it was.

you frown to yourself at juyeon’s words, still being held in an awkward position while you faced the psycho’s chest, and his eyes still glued to the two boys behind you.

“are you deaf or do you not understand simple instructions?” you finally see hyunjae reach your footing, and hyunjae lays a hand on the psycho’s grip on you. the psycho only lets go because he couldn’t read hyunjae. 

you shift away quickly, rubbing your arm where his grip on you was marked with reddening lines. you back away and bump into juyeon, who only stretched out his arm in front of you, pushing you backwards behind him. 

“did he hurt you?” juyeon turns to the side, only showing you his side profile. 

“no...” you trail off, still rubbing your arm. the lines turn into light bruises, and you can only tell yourself that you were going to wear long-sleeved tops until they healed. 

juyeon turns back to hyunjae, who now had his arm pressed against the psycho’s chest. for a moment, the psycho looked like he was ready to eat you like a lion hunting its prey, and the only things in his way were hyunjae and juyeon. 

“go back to the dorms. i’ll come check up on you afterwards,” juyeon instructs. you watch as he takes large steps towards hyunjae and the psycho. you were already backing off, but his eyes never leave you while juyeon and hyunjae try to talk him out of being crazy.

your view of the psycho was almost completely obstructed by juyeon, and hyunjae was talking to him by his side. all of a sudden, the psycho lunges forward, pushing past juyeon and towards you. the sight causes you to jerk backwards and stumble to turn and run.

hyunjae grabs him by the arm while juyeon’s first instinct was to run back to your side, and before you knew it, juyeon has fingers intertwined with the collar of the psycho’s shirt, his fists balled up and their faces inches away from one another. 

hyunjae watches on from a short distance away, hands on his hips as he scans the situation. 

“does she look like she still belongs to you? does she look like she’s got your name plastered to her forehead? last i checked, i was the one who kissed her and spent the night with her, not you,” juyeon’s voice was low, and strangely calm. you wonder if he’s truly ever lost his temper at anybody. “oh, i forgot. you know, right?”

you were backed up enough to see the look on your stalker’s face, which was now contorted into an ugly mess of distaste, anger and disgust. 

“after all we went through, you take one year to get over it? so quickly?” your stalker scoffs, loud enough for you to hear, loud enough to push all the wrong buttons. 

juyeon shoves him backwards and pushes him so hard that he falls to the floor. before he could get up, juyeon has his foot on his chest, weighing him down. 

“you really need to think twice about what you do around here. not only did you choose to be a crazy, psychotic stalker in a public area, but you just had to choose the one corner with a fully functioning CCTV.”

your stalker, who was on the ground, looks up and around the area, and you could see the intensity of panic that filled him the moment he saw the blinking red dot on the camera mounted to the corner where the ceiling met the wall.  

“and unlike you, i’m not dumb enough to pick a fight with you,” juyeon retracts his legs and exchanged quick glances with hyunjae. “you can wait for your letter of expulsion to come in your letter box wherever you’re staying in school. and you better believe that if i see you anywhere near her, i’ll make sure you spend the rest of your life locked up behind bars.”

hyunjae turns and looks at you, allowing juyeon to finish his statement. he pats him on the shoulder, telling him to leave him alone. after a few moments of intense glaring between the psycho and juyeon, he finally backs away and follows behind hyunjae as they approach you. 

you were back in your room, rocking back and forth with your rear mounted to the floor. hyunjae was on the phone telling the other boys that he and juyeon were sitting out from tonight’s drink session because ‘juyeon wasn’t feeling well’, while juyeon was sitting opposite you, watching you spiral into your own hole of thoughts and despair.

“they’re not gonna buy the excuse, but they let us off the hook,” hyunjae locks his phone and shoves it into his pocket, crossing his arms across his chest. juyeon nods at hyunjae, and the older boy takes his leave. 

he shuffles nearer to you upon the door shutting, his legs on either sides of your hips and his feet under your bed. you were nearly leaning on it, with your knees hugged tightly against your chest. you were stuck between him and your bed, but who even cared anymore?

your vision was zoning out, but you feel him trying to take your arm when he notices the light bruises on your skin. 

“i’m fine,” you muttered sharply, hiding your hand between your stomach and your thighs.

“why do you stay out so late? and alone?” he lowers his head, matching his eye level with yours. “i thought you would’ve learnt your lesson from last week.”

“i didn’t think he was going to circle back and find me at the bar again. i thought he’d scour the whole school looking for me, then give up once he realises i’m hiding from him.”

juyeon pokes the inside of his cheek with his tongue and runs a hand through his blue hair. “but he knows where you stay.”

“and i thought he’d back off after seeing us--” you straighten yourself to finish the sentence, frustrated that juyeon was interrogating you and speaking the obvious. but then you realise you couldn’t say it without feeling butterflies in your stomach.

damn these feelings. 

juyeon raises a cocky brow, though not obvious, but it was easy to notice. a soft smile creeps up on the corners of his lips.

“so you were riding on the hope that he’d buy our skit?” juyeon shuffles forward again, now that you were sitting up straight and that movement created extra space between the two of you. you crane your neck backwards, the lack of distance between his nose and your eyes becoming painfully difficult to ignore. 

“i mean...” you look away, annoyed at his ability to turn such a horrible night into one of his little talking games. “if hyunjae or changmin saw it, maybe they’d buy it. i know i would, especially if i didn’t know the situation.”

“changmin?” juyeon was now grinning, his eyes halving into crescents. “all of a sudden, why changmin?”

“i was with a friend earlier tonight at the bar. she’s changmin’s cousin and i know the both of you are close.”

juyeon hums in acknowledgement, now scratching a spot on his cheek. 

there was an awkward silence in the air, and you couldn’t hear much besides your heavy breathing, split second flashes of whatever happened just about half an hour ago still running on repeat in your head. 

“do you want to know something?” 

you look up at him through the corners of your eyes, slightly afraid to look at him all too directly. there was something in his voice that was so alluring, like he was about to tell you a world-class secret.

“do i want to know?” you cautiously returned a question. juyeon chuckles and stretches both his arms forwards, resting his hands on the mattress behind your shoulders. your eyes widen as the change in position further narrows whatever distance you previously had, and if you weren’t already dying at the fact that you were caged between his arms, you were combusting at how close he was to you. 

so close, that you could feel his breath on your forehead.

“changmin and hyunjae would totally buy it.”

huh?

“do you want to know why? or are you capable of deciphering ‘why’ yourself?”

oh, god, no. please, no. 

“if i said no, could you spare me the information?” you ask, still refusing to look at him. juyeon chuckles again. 

time seemed to pass extremely slowly as you fail to react to him removing one of his hands from the bed, now reaching up to your chin and pulling it to face him. 

your heart picks up its pace again, and instead of fear that ran through you previously, you couldn’t ignore the butterflies that were filling your stomach. 

“if you’re about to confess, i’m begging you not to.”

juyeon’s smile disappears, and an overwhelming feeling of vulnerability and pity washes over you. your eyes don’t falter despite looking straight into juyeon’s. your words came out almost like a whisper, and if he wasn’t this close to you, he probably wouldn’t have heard it.

“why?” he asks quietly. 

you feel your eye brow twitch, and your nose turn slightly sour. 

oh, no, why do you choose to cry now?

“i can’t afford another heartbreak. i can’t afford feeling like i’m nothing again. not after i chose to give him my time, my heart... my body. only for him to use it against me, only for him to say that nobody will love me because of how depressed i am all the damn time...” 

you shake your chin out of juyeon’s fingers, looking away as you feel the tears welling up in your eyes again. 

you feel your tears dribble down over your cheeks, and before you could reach up to your face to wipe them away, juyeon beats you to it. but instead of wiping your tears, you found yourself stuck in another kiss.

this time, it wasn’t for show. 

there was nobody else around for him to ‘scare off’. 

you shut your eyes upon the contact, allowing all the cooped up tears to wash out from the crevices of your lids. juyeon has your cheeks cupped in his large hands that were probably the size of your face.

the touch reminds you of when you first kissed your ex-boyfriend. the feeling of melting chocolate fondue, the feeling of coming home to a warm cup of tea on a cold day--

you hurriedly pull away, panic slowly filling your heart again. “juyeon--”

“you begged me not to confess, but i hope that was enough to show you what i wanted to say.” juyeon interrupts, his thumbs now wiping away the droplets of tears hanging from your jawline and the trails left on your cheeks. 

“but i’m never going to be able to act like i’m in a normal relationshi--”

“so be it,” he holds up your face so you had no choice but to look at him. “whoever said i wanted a ‘normal relationship’? it was my choice to choose you, and so it’s my choice to be with you as you are.”

you feel the panic slowly wear away, and his words warm your heart. 

“give me time and i’ll prove that you’re the one i want to be with. i know it’s not easy to believe that with all the... girls chasing us around all the time... but i hope you’ll still give me a chance. one month ago, you told me you didn’t want an answer and all you wanted to do was to get it off your chest and get over me. i hope you haven’t succeeded.”

you feel your facial muscles relax at his confession, and the warmth radiating from his hands on your face made you feel so safe, so protected, in a long, long time. 

“i haven’t,” you gently shake your head, reaching up to pull his hand away from your face and draw circles on the back of his hand. 

juyeon gives you the warmest smile you’ve ever seen on him. he pulls you into his chest as you exhale all the worries from your heart. 

it was definitely going to take a lot of courage and patience, but if juyeon was going to do whatever he said he would, then you couldn’t be any more happier to try. 

[sometimesitrytowritethings]

Mountain Man: Part 5

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | PART 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8

Pairing: Arthur Morgan x Reader

Word count: 5k

Warnings: Angst, Swearing, Mild sexual situations

Summary: You never thought you’d love again. Then Arthur Morgan came into town. Fate continuously has you meeting each other in odd ways, and a troubled past is something you are both familiar with. Perhaps that’s what will make this time different.

——-

You had headed home with Ben as quickly as possible after your discovery, ignoring all of your neighbors who tried to chat along the way. You walked with determination, caking your shoes and the hem of your skirt with mud and trying your best not to let any tears fall before you got home. Ben scampered along behind you, confused about what had made you so mad, but still not saying a word.

As soon as you had arrived at the door of the boarding house, you kicked off your muddy shoes and kneeled to hug your son, the tears that had been threatening to spill during your entire trek home finally running down your cheeks. You quietly cried, holding the small child tightly in your arms and cradling the back of his head with your hand. His small arms wrapped around you as well. He may not have known what was happening, but he knew enough to hug you back.

After a few minutes, you finally pulled away and moved your hands to Ben’s face, looking lovingly at your son. “Are you okay, Mama?” he asked, timidly, still overwhelmed by the sudden change in mood earlier.

You nodded and then pressed your forehead against his, closing your eyes. “I’m fine, sweetheart,” you told him. “I’m sorry if I scared you.” Your hands moved from his face to the curls on top of his head, as you moved to a kiss to his forehead.

Pulling away, you were relieved when he proceeded to reassure you. “I wasn’t scared, Mama,” he explained, looking up into your eyes. His own were watery as well. “I was just worried. Why are you so sad? Did I do something bad?”

This prompted you to pull him once again in a tight hug. “Oh no,” you said in his ear, comforting both of you at the same time. It nearly killed you that he could ever think that he was the cause of your sadness and frustration at that moment. “No, no, no, no. You didn’t do anything wrong, you wonderful, wonderful boy.” With another kiss to the top of his head, you pulled away from him to look him over. “You are so good, and I am so proud of you, and I love you so, so much. And I’m very very sorry about upsetting you.” You straightened his shirt and stood up to make your way into the house.

As you did this, Ben moved forward to hug your legs. “I love you, Mama,” he said, his voice muted by the fabric of your skirt.

You patted him gently on his curls, a small, sad smile on your face. “I love you too, sweetheart.”

The two of you stood that way for a couple more minutes in the hallway, your hand running through Ben’s curls as he held onto your legs as if for dear life. After finally re-gaining your composure, you knelt down and helped Ben take off his shoes, before opening the door and sending him up the stairs to change into clean clothes for dinner, which was luckily a much happier affair.

Ms. Chadwick and Mary joined the two of you for a meal of leftover stew from the previous evening and freshly-baked bread, courtesy of Jacob. Although you remained mostly in silent contemplation throughout the meal, Ben was more than happy to regale them with tales from the day. He spoke animatedly about all of the horses he saw, especially the “baby pony”, and of the Mountain Man who could draw “as good as a real picture!”

At one point, he had even run upstairs to grab the drawing and show it proudly to the entire table. Ms. Chadwick quickly oohed and ahhed over it, asking Ben questions about who this Mountain Man might be, all while looking knowingly in your direction. Mary, however, had suddenly gone silent, looking at the drawing with a sort of bittersweet recognition. Ben, of course, was not going to be satisfied with that reaction. When he turned to her to ask her opinion, her smile slipped back onto her face and she rejoined the conversation with practiced ease.

Not long after the stew had been eaten and the plates cleared off the table, the sun began to set. Bidding the others a good evening, you took Ben up to tuck him into bed before you left to meet Arthur. With a kiss on the forehead, you told him that Mary and Ms. Chadwick would be home, but you would join your friends for a few hours tonight, so he shouldn’t worry about you. He nodded, and after an exhausting, exciting, and overwhelming day, quickly fell asleep with the drawing tucked close to his chest.

You smiled and gently pulled the picture from his grasp to set it on the table near the window so that it wouldn’t be ruined as Ben slept. You then quietly slipped out of the house, luckily undeterred, and quickly made your way to the saloon. There was again a chill in the night air, as was common in Valentine in the spring, and you pulled your jacket tightly around your shoulders, contemplating what you would say to Arthur when you arrived.

If you remembered correctly, he had mentioned that he was going out to bring in a snake-oil salesman for a bounty the other day. It had to have been the same man. Should you mention it to him? Should you thank him? Would that be too strange? After all, he didn’t do this for you, he did it for the money. Before you had a chance to mull it over any further, you had reached the steps of the large, loud building.

Through the windows, you could see many of the same faces that graced the saloon on a nightly basis. You immediately spotted Margaret, in her bright yellow top and purple skirt, talking up a man by the bar. Anastasia was nowhere in sight, probably already upstairs with a lucky client. You continued scanning the room a bit more through the windows, but you didn’t see Arthur yet.

With a sigh, you decided to wait outside until he arrived, wanting to avoid talking to anyone as much as possible. You leaned against a pillar at the front of the building, watching as your breath crystallised in the air in front of you. As luck would have it, Arthur appeared shortly after you, dismounting his horse with a friendly wave. You were staring at the sky, so lost in thought that you nearly missed his arrival.

He called your name, and half-jogged to you once his horse was hitched, beaming. However, upon seeing the troubled look on your face, he immediately faltered.

“Before you say anything, I just…” you started, avoiding his gaze and not allowing him to speak first. “I want to thank you,” you finished, letting out a breath that you didn’t quite know you had been holding. Once again tugging at your jacket, you somehow managed to look Arthur in the eyes, tears threatening to spill again.

He immediately looked confused. “Woah, thank me? What for?” he questioned, coming over and stood next to you, leaning his hip on the same pillar. He was positioned slightly behind you as he pulled a cigarette out of his satchel and lit it. He took a drag of the cigarette first before holding it out for you. “Like I said, that picture weren’t nothin.”

You rarely smoked, but nodded your head anyway. Anything to calm you down. “It’s not that,” you replied, before pausing and inhaling the cigarette smoke. The somewhat familiar taste of tobacco entered your lungs and you handed it back to him, closing your eyes. It was all too much. “You… That man, your bounty? His name was Mr. Albright?”

Arthur nodded, eying you with confusion. He put the cigarette back between his lips.

It took a significant amount of effort to gather your wits together and explain everything to him. “He’s been here before,” you spoke slowly, testing out each phrase, making sure you were saying everything right. Closing your eyes and leaning your head back against the pillar, you continued, “About… about five years ago… Right before Andrew died…”

You didn’t need to say more. Contrary to his looks, and the rough-and-tumble attitude he usually tried to maintain, it was evident that Arthur was an empathetic person. He immediately understood. “Oh…” he pulled the half-used cigarette from between his lips and dropped it to the ground. WIthout another word, he had pushed himself off the pillar and turned to you, pulling you into a tight hug.

His strong arms wrapped around you. The smell of tobacco, trees and whisky overwhelmed your senses and you leaned into him, letting tears fall with less restraint than you had with your son. “We… we thought it was just the flu,” you managed, speaking through sobs into his shirt. “But it was harvest… and we had just had Ben... and he couldn’t afford to… to lay in bed for a week.”

You felt him nod reassuringly, and you continued, “So, this man came into town, boasting about this miracle cure... We weren’t sure, but there was just too much to do.”

One of his strong hands started rubbing your back in circles, and you thought you heard him let out a quiet shush. “It’s alright,” he said, his voice low and calm, as if he were talking to a panicked animal. “You don’t gotta talk about it if you don’t want. I understand.”

“He would have been fine within a week. I…” you finally managed to stop yourself, wrapping your arms around his neck with an exhausted sob.

Arthur shushed you again, his hand still rubbing your back. “You ain’t done nothin’ wrong,” he said, his voice still low and soothing. He pried you off of him and held you out at arms length, hands on your shoulders, looking into your eyes. “That man was a slippery, lyin’ sonovabitch,” he continued, trying to reassure you. “And now he’s finally gonna get what’s comin.”

You nodded and moved your gaze to the ground, unable to look Arthur in the eye. “Thank you,” you breathed, your voice trembling, almost a whisper. “I… I just… well, I came to terms with Andrew’s death a long time ago. But this… it just brings it all back somehow. Like it happened again.”

Suddenly, a large calloused hand gently took hold of your chin. Arthur lightly tilted your head back up to face him. “I know,” he said, training his eyes on yours again. “I know. And I’m real sorry. Losin’ someone you love… well, it never really goes away.”

“Ain’t that the truth,” you muttered with a sad smile, wiping the tears from your eyes.

After you had recollected yourself, Arthur finally spoke again. “If it’ll help, I can probably arrange with the sheriff for you to-“

“No!” You were immediately taken aback. Why on earth would you ever want to see that man? If he were to be hanged at the Valentine gallows, you would probably not even venture out of the house that day, just to avoid seeing those beady eyes. “Thank you,” you said quickly, once you remembered that Arthur was just trying to help, “but no, no, I don’t want that. It’s over. Hell, it’s been over for years now. He will get what he deserves and that’s it. I don’t want anything more to do with it.” Were you trying to convince Arthur or yourself?

He eyed you cautiously, curious about your reaction. “You shoa? Now, I ain’t sayin’ you should go in there and kill him or anythin’. But maybe seeing him, yellin’ at him a bit, would help?” he asked again, reaching over to wipe a missed tear from your cheek. His hand paused for just a moment, and even after he had pulled it away you could still feel his touch, lingering.

“I just…” you mumbled, swallowing down the lump that was working its way up your throat again. “I don’t know,” you breathed, dejectedly. Maybe he was right. Maybe you had mostly healed, but that wound had been ripped violently open again by this revelation. Maybe screaming at him, showing him how much he had hurt you, would help you heal again.

He resigned, letting you decide for yourself. “Well, you know I ain’t gonna force you to donothin’,” he reassured you, leaning down to pick up the still lit cigarette from the ground.

You watched him take a drag without hesitation as you contemplated what he said. “I know… and thank you. It's just…” you bit your lip, searching for what you wanted to say, “it’s hurting again. Like when it had just happened… I thought I was fine, that I’d moved on and was living my life…”

Arthur let out a small sigh and reached out with gentle fingers to brush a strand of hair behind your ear. “And you are,” he didn’t remove his hand, instead he used it to cup your cheek and look at you in the eyes. You couldn’t place what you were feeling at that moment. It was strange. This man, who you had only met a few weeks ago, was making you feel safe. And heard. And valid. And it made you feel so incredibly guilty to feel this way with someone other than Andrew. “You’ve got a good life, a great boah, and there ain’t no need to feel bad about that. But you just found out that some greedy snake took what could have been away from you. I wouldn’t blame you for wantin’ to rip him a new one before he gets his justice.”

You paused for a moment, looking back into his eyes. It took effort to even breathe, but the feeling of his hand on your cheek was somehow comforting. Slowly, you nodded your head and whispered, “Alright. … Let’s go see him.”

“Alright,” he said back to you with a reassuring smile. His calloused thumb brushed your cheek again lightly. “I can talk to the sheriff in the mornin-“ You pulled away from him in a sudden burst of determination. No, not in the morning. It was now or never. You had no idea if you could will yourself to do this any other time. “-hey, what... you mean now?”

You looked back, and Arthur was standing in the same place, cigarette dangling from his lips, and his arms stretched to the sides as if saying, what on earth? “Of course! I’ve got the stomach for it now, you expect me to wait?” You called back to him, voice only slightly shaking.

He looked at you in shock before jogging to catch up with you. Mud squished under his boots as he ran, but he made it to you quickly. He put a hand on your shoulder to stop you for a moment, “Well, I-“

This time, it was your turn to reach up and caress his cheek. Which you did, before patting it lightly, embracing your newfound confidence. “Sheriff Malloy has known me for years. It’ll be fine.”

He paused for just a second, smiling and shaking his head in resignation, before tossing his cigarette on the muddy ground and stomping it out with his boot. After a moment, he gestured to the jail with his right arm and put his left behind you, his hand resting on the small of your back as he began to lead you to the small building. “Well alright then, let’s go.”

The Sheriff’s office, only a few more steps down the street, was nearly empty when you arrived. Looking through the window, you could see Sheriff Malloy sitting at his desk, writing by the light of the singular lit oil lamp in the room. On the left were two darkened jail cells: one completely empty, and the other housing a man, who was huddled in a dark corner, asleep.

Arthur knocked lightly before opening the door without an answer. Sheriff Malloy jumped to his feet, shoving the letter he had been writing quickly into a desk drawer. It was likely a letter to the lovely Mrs. Calthrope, with whom he was having a not-so-secret affair.

But that didn’t bother you at the moment, as your focus was immediately drawn to the man hunched over in the furthest jail cell. You heard Arthur explain the situation to Sheriff Malloy, who kindly left you to your business. With each step closer to the cell, you could feel your heart beating faster and your words threatening to catch in your throat. By the time you had reached him and grabbed ahold of two of the bars, you couldn’t speak.

Luckily, Arthur was right behind you to take charge. He banged on the metal bars with a metal coffee cup that he had picked up off the Sheriff’s desk, waking the cell’s resident with a jolt. “Mr. Albright!” he called, his voice deep and taunting. “I brought someone by to see you.” He held a hand comfortingly at your back as you looked at the man.

He was an older man, dressed in what were once, surely, fine clothes. His glasses, perched on his long nose, were cracked, and his beard and hair looked as if it hadn’t been washed in weeks. “You’ve seen the error of your ways, I hope!” he called to your companion, clambering to his feet, suddenly fully awake after seeing the face of his captor.

Arthur laughed, taunting the man. “I never been very good at that, I’m afraid,” he said, walking back to the desk to set down the coffee mug.

Mr. Albright, now beginning to panic again, dashed to the bars of the jail cell, pressing his face through them. You jumped back, not wanting to be near the man. “They’re gonna hang me! This is a gross miscarriage of justice!” he pleaded, his voice increasing in pitch with each phrase. He was terrified.

Anger bloomed in your face. This man, the man who murdered your husband, had the gall to claim innocence? He had the audacity to try to convince someone that he had done nothing wrong? You wouldn’t take that. “The only miscarriage of justisce around here is that you weren’t hanged five years ago,” you spat, voice coming out hoarse and full of venom.

He seemed to have finally noticed you at that, and turned his gaze to you without recognition. He didn’t know who you were. He didn’t have any idea what he had done to you - to your family. “Ma’am, you must be mistaken,” he explained, clearing his throat and trying his best to regain his composure. To convince you of his innocence. To con you into believing him, like he had done to so many others. “I am a healer! A medical man! I save people!”

His explanation made you sick. “Like you saved my husband?” tears threatened to fall again as you spoke, but this time they weren’t from sadness. They were from frustration, from anger, from pure, unadulterated hatred for the man before you.

“I- I am sure you must be mistaken,” he said, his voice getting higher. He slowly backed away from the bars and toward the other side of the darkened cell, treating you like an angry animal in the wild.

But as soon as his hands had left the bars, you lunged at him, getting as close to the man as possible. “No,” you shrieked, anger completely overcoming you. You reached into the cell, catching him by the shirt collar before he could fully get away. “I had accepted his fate. He was sick, and things happen, I thought. For so long I assumed there was nothing we could have done.” You pulled him roughly toward you, forcing him to look you in the eye.

“Ma’am, please…” his voice shook as he spoke. He raised his hands, palms towards you, in a futile attempt to diffuse the situation.

“You killed him!” you screamed, grabbing the other side of his collar with your free hand and shaking him in frustration.

“I’m sure I have no idea what you are talking about,” he managed, still trying to worm his way out.

You were having none of it. “Your miracle tonic was supposed to help him! But he took it and died overnight,” you hissed, lightly dusting his face with your spit. “Do you know what it’s like? To lose someone you love so dearly? To raise a child on your own after losing the love of your life? After being forced to sell your home? Do you?”

“I…” he stammered, looking towards the floor.

Even if he had been able to try to explain himself, you weren’t in the mood to let him. “How many other women are there like me out there? How many men have you killed for an easy payday?” your voice again rose in a steady crescendo as you questioned him, ending with you yelling the last phrase directly into his face.

He turned his face from you to look at the two men in the room, begging for help. “Please, someone get this woman out of here! She’s hysterical!” he cried. You roughly yanked on his collar so that his face was thrown forward and made contact with the metal bars.

Holding tight, not allowing him to move, you nearly screamed in frustration. “Hysterical? I finally realise that my husband was murdered, and I’m able to look the man that killed him in the eye only to have him deny everything?!” you shrieked directly into his face. He was pressed against the bars, his cheeks red. “You are damn right I’m hysterical!”

“Sheriff!” he called as best he could, pushing against the bars to escape your grasp. “Sheriff! Please get this woman out of my sight!”

You heard a sigh behind you and the scrape of chair legs against the wooden floor. “I’m real sorry,” came Sheriff Malloy’s voice from behind you, saying your name as his footsteps neared, “but I think you’d better leave.”

You knew you were about to be thrown out, but you would absolutely get the last word. “You sorry piece of shit!” you screamed again, shaking the man and forcing him to hit his head several times on the metal bars. You felt Arthur’s hands on your shoulders, pulling you gently away. “I hope you burn in hell for what you’ve done!” you spat, finally letting him go and stepping away from the cell.

Sheriff Malloy stepped up behind the two of you, also putting a hand on your shoulder. “Please,” he said calmly. “I think you should go now. He’ll get what he’s due. I promise.”

You finally acquiesced, letting Arthur direct you from the room and through the back door of the jail. Your heart was pounding, breath coming out in angry gasps, when you arrived outside. Arthur turned you to face him, shushing you gently and trying to calm you. “It’s alright,” his voice was calm, and directly opposite of how you were feeling, how you wanted to feel.

The adrenaline that had overtaken you was overwhelming. It left you with a red face, and desperately needing some sort of outlet for your increased energy. Arthur pulled you closer to him, still trying to calm you down with soft words and quiet shushes. Suddenly, your outlet had been found.

Without warning, you lunged for him. Your lips met his and he staggered backward. The kiss was needy and frantic, your hands on the sides of his face, keeping him in place and grazing over his stubble.

He paused for an agonizingly long moment, shocked, before finally kissing you back. Large, warm hands moved from your shoulders to your hips as he pulled you closer with a swift movement. You melted into him, leaning against the hard, warm panes of his body to keep your balance.

Nothing was said, but nothing needed to be said. The situation had gotten you incredibly worked up, and the two of you were inevitably acting on the sexual tension that had built up as high as a mountain over the course of your past few coincidental meetings. Lips still locked in a heated kiss, you reached up to run a hand through his hair and were pleasantly surprised to find it freshly washed. He must have had a bath before coming to dinner.

For some reason, the idea of him preparing for this, anticipating it, spurred you on. It was so incredibly thoughtful, incredibly attractive, that he would go to the effort for you. You moved one of your hands to gently stroke the back of his head, down to the nape of his neck where you took hold of some hair and gently pulled. He groaned into your mouth - the most erotic sound you had heard in years. You needed to hear it again. Determined, you made your move as he pulled away from your mouth and leaned into the touch of your hands at the back of his neck. You went for his throat.

Literally.

Your left hand slid to the collar of Arthur’s shirt, moving his bandana aside, and you stood on your toes to kiss and bite at his exposed neck. He breathed your name, voice like music in your ears. Slowly, his hands moved to the small of your back, helping you keep your balance and bringing your body closer to his, if that were even possible. He groaned again, tilting his head to the side, as you kissed along his jaw.

His hands moved from your hips to your backside, squeezing it and pulling you into him. A jolt of electricity shot through you as you pressed against his pants, feeling the hard, hot need at your waist.

His neck was giving you a goldmine of grunts and groans that you would dream about for the next month, but you wanted - no, needed - more. Slowly, you licked a line up to his ear before gently biting on his earlobe. Nothing mattered to you now except him - all of him.

Your fingers deftly unbuttoned his shirt, and then combed through the wiry hair on his chest. One hand then paused, sprawled across the middle of his chest, while the other moved up again to snake around his neck. You moved your mouth back to his, whispering his name, your voice trembling.

Meanwhile, strong, hot hands reached under the band of your skirt and under your blouse. He lightly brushed against your skin, hitching up your shirt until he could easily skim calloused fingers up your spine, forcing a needy whine from your lips.

Your other hand slid up his chest and again to the back of his neck, pulling him toward the back of the building. The aging slats of wood dug lightly into your back through the fabric of your blouse and jacket as you hitched your leg around his hip. A strong hand came to your thigh, helping you keep your leg locked around him. Your tongues danced, your hands pulled again at his hair, and he began to grind against you at an agonizingly slow pace. For just a moment, he pulled his lips away from you, and you got a look at him.

His cheeks were flushed, lips swollen, eyes glazed over with lust. You hadn’t seen something so handsome, so strong, so incredibly erotic in years.

Before you knew what was happening, he dipped his head low to the crux of your neck. His hot breath gave you goosebumps as he licked and nipped at your skin, leaving what would be very visible love bites in the morning. You hurriedly swung your arm up to your mouth, biting on your thumb to keep quiet, but not before you had let out a loud moan that sounded not completely unlike his name.

A dam had been broken and there would be no stopping you now.

Unless…

Arthur faltered at the sound of horse hooves headed in your direction, one hand on your thigh and the other balanced against the wall behind you. You took no notice until he started to reluctantly pull away with a drawn-out sigh. “You don’t want to do this, darlin’,” he groaned, unraveling your leg from his waist and stepping slowly backwards, away from you. The hand that had been on the wall was now massaging his forehead in frustration. “Not with me.”

You looked at him, confused, breathless, mind racing, heart still beating a mile a minute. What was he talking about?

“You‘re just worked up, ‘n’ I ain’t gonna take advantage of that,” he explained, having seen your confusion. He backed further away, face flushed, eyes closed.

“Arthur… what- what on Earth?” you started, but stopped yourself as you too came to your senses. He was probably right. You were incredibly attracted to him, that was true, but the two of you barely knew each other, not to mention that an alleyway behind the jail wasn’t exactly the best place for this to happen. “You’re… I suppose you’re right…” you groaned, leaning back against the wall and putting your hand over your face. “... but only about me being worked up.”

His eyes shot up from the ground to look at you, astonished, as if he didn’t believe you could want to be with him of all people. His shock was laughable. Of course you wanted him, how could you not? And how could he be remotely confused by that? “I absolutely do want to do this with you… but right now… behind the jail… maybe it’s not the best place for it…” the blush that stained your face after your adrenaline had gone down was impossible to hide.

You nervously glanced away from him and brought your hands together to fiddle with your wedding ring.

Maybe it was finally time to take it off.