#i don't think i've ever tagged a ship name before. but we're talking about it rn so

[six-of-cringe]

Because it's happened to me a billion times with other fandoms containing queer ships - if I were an outsider to the SoC fandom and just caught glimpses of fan works/posts, I'd have to wonder if Jesper and Wylan were actually canonically together or if fans just made it up so hard they tricked me into thinking it's real. like ok are these little crime guys actually in love this time or are we feeling left out again.

[the-red-butterfly]

20 Questions for fic writers

Tagged by @bad-at-names-and-faces and @i-did-not-mean-to

Thanks guys!!

1. How many works do you have on AO3? I have 96 works in Ao3 BUT I have 104 on Fanfiction (yes, I still post there don't judge me.) I think there are just like 3 works that I have on Ao3 that I didn't pu up on FanFiction.

2. What's your total AO3 word count? 411,089 (Not too bad, not too bad)

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Primarily I write for Tolkien works, Star Wars and Batman (bat fam to be more specific). But I'm very much a, write one for each thing I love kinda gall. Honorary mentions include Sandman, Frozen, Twilight Avengers, Merlin and Teen Titans.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Lonely Stars Drifting In The Black (Star Wars) (so not surprised XD)

Kudos: 2,276

The Unexpected Pop Of Things (Lucifer TV)

Kudos: 1,265

This Isn't What It Looks Like (Lucifer TV)

Kudos: 762

Death of a Star (Lucifer TV)

Kudos: 760

Alone Never More (Batman comics) (you are just an okay story, why are you here? 😭)

Kudos: 729

(I'm kinda surprised and offended that I didn't put Lucifer on the honorary mentions and it still took places 2, 3 AND 4 👁)

5. Do you respond to comments? Oh yes (though I might take a couple of months if I some slip my mind). Almost all of them. I tend to not answer back to emojis because I'm like... I don't know what to answer?

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? This was kind of a hard question and it took me way too long to answer, so here, have the three runner ups.

A Crime Of Passion (Twilight: New Moon)

Ends with: Carlisle being forced to drink blood and being unable to deal with it.

At The End Of The Earth (Hellboy del Toro movies)

Ends with: John Myers being mauled by wolves and his last thoughts being of how alone he feels and of dying alone.

She's not a very good mother (Batman comics)

Ends with: Janet Drake dying as she chokes on poison and regrets she wont be able to do better by her son. She always thought she'd have more time.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Unlike the last one, this one was so easy to pick because, yeah... I'm an angsty girly for sure so the pool for REALLY happy endings was SMALL.

Drizzle Bt The Sea (Teen Titans cartoon)

It's quite short and all around just happy in vibes. Just Robin and Jericho playing by the sea under the rain.

8. Do you get hate on fics? I don't remember that I ever have? Thought I thought a couple might get hate, they didn't.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? I tired it ONCE. And you know what happened? The sex was interrupted by trauma and they characters had to top to talk about the whole thing.

There is also that other one time but we're not going to talk about it.

But all in all I'm much more interested in exploring gen stories ✨

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? I LOVE crossovers. I don't have many, but I am plagued mentally by them. I have 3 posted (only one on Ao3). And I'm not sure which one's craisiest. But the 2 on FF are both Rise of the Guardians crossovers, one with Avengers and the other with LES MISÉRABLES. What was younger me smoking? I would really like to know.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I'm aware 👁

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? I think someone might've asked one or two times? But I honestly don't remember, if it ever happened, it was ages ago.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? Oh yes! It's always so fun to me. I've done it a couple of times with @slightly-crimson-tornado and I'm currently working on one with @pushing-daisies-renaissance ✨

14. What’s your all time favourite ship? Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm. Steve Trevor x Diana Prince I think. Close runner up is definitely Satine Kryze x Obi-wan Kenobi. And I'm VERY fond of Bruce Wayne x Selina Kyle.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? I have a stupid amount of wips so I'll just go by posted ones. I have this story idea that I REALLY Like but I came up with it ages ago, and though i still like the idea I'm doubtful that I'll ever give it the time it deserves to go back to ):

Because the truth was too terrible (Avengers)

It's a story about Natasha being trapped inside her mind and Thor getting in to wake her up. I'm still pretty fond of the general gist of it. But it's OLD now.

16. What are your writing strengths? Aaaaaahhh. Trauma management? Like, they way people go about it and navigate it; how they talk about it with others? At least I THINK that's my strength. People keep complimenting those things XD

17. What are your writing weaknesses? I am too flowery with wording and I get sick of myself. It's out of control and I sometimes can't help it.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? I love it. If I can't get help I'll just wing a google translate, or god forbid do some research on structure. I'm BAD at it, but I love it and use it frequently.

19. First fandom you wrote for? Inazuma Eleven (anime) hehe. Love of my youth, protect me.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written? I love this this Twilight one-shot I wrote some years ago. It made me suffer a lot (for reasons you can find in the author's notes) but the idea has always had a tight grip on me. I really like it (and hope to got I can get the sequel out one day).

A Crime Of Passion (Twilight: New Moon)

BUT two honorable mentions. One, my Star Wars series where Obi-wan get's rescued from Death Watch by Jango Fett. And Two, my VERY self indulgent crossover between Avengers x Merlin, I love the story and I'm really super fond of what I've gotten down so far.

Celestial Bodies Of The Lonesome Variety (LSD) (Star Wars)

Of The Old Things Hidden In The World (Merlin x Avengers crossover)

Ya know, just in case you feel like it, tagging @slightly-crimson-tornado , @cilil , @dottie-wan-kenobi , @fishing4stars , @arlenianchronicles , @scary-grace

[musewrangler]

20 Questions for Writers

Thank you so much for the tag @wendingways I'm FINALLY getting around to it. :D

How many works do you have on AO3?

132

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

2, 962, 169

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Star Wars, Hornblower, Narnia [just one]

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Mirjahaal

Bajur

He Who Sheds His Blood With Me

Forging Ahead

I Felt You In My Bones

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do as much as possible. I appreciate my readers making time to say something. It takes effort on their part and I want them to know I am grateful. Equally, I get lots of fun thoughts from my readers and it's delightful to interact with people. :D

6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Oh definitely the fic I could never write. ;D By which I mean---there was a prompt somewhere that said 'the aftermath of a scene you'll never write'. So I knew immediately what that was and ripped my own heart out to write "Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night". Literally, I was ugly crying the whole time. And it convinced me that nope, I can never do this in my 'real' fics if you will. xD

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Hmmm. I am a girl who likes a happy ending. Granted, it's after kark tons of pain and suffering usually xD, but...

I think I'll land on the Dragon Speaker. I could name quite a few others, but I spent more time developing the happy aftermath so that's why I choose it.

8. Do you get hate on your fic?

I've said it before---I have some of the BEST readers. And I've had folks who've disagreed with some of my takes on character or plot, but they are welcome to do so if they are respectful and they are. It produces good conversation and perspective. I can think of one time I had someone actively unpleasant, but let's hear it for delete and block! :D

9. Do you write smut?

Nope.

10. Do you write crossovers?

No. It's just not my cup of tea.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of and I hope not. Obviously, a lot of us have similar ideas----writing is just like that. But I don't think anyone has taken my work directly. That kind of thing does get me riled up because I know the work all of us creators have done to make these stories. Don't do it, kids.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes I have and it's very fun! I have a very industrious and delightful reader who has translated a lot of my work into Russian. :D

13. Have you ever co-written a fic?

I have a few times. :D

14. What‘s your all-time favourite ship?

Depends on context here. I don't read or write fics for just romance. I need purpose beyond the couple if you will. If we're talking within Star Wars then canonically it's Han and Leia. If we're going with my own fanfics it's a toss up between Mara and Max Veers and Firmus Piett and Sola Naberrie. ;D If we're talking broad literary ship Benedick and Beatrice from Much Ado About Nothing.

15. What’s the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

WIP I will never finish? What are you talking about?

Genuinely, I hate the idea of abandoning my fics. Just can't. Some of them are taking longer than I had thought, but that's ok. Life happens. I will finish. ;D

16. What’s your writing strengths?

I think I develop character fairly well. I like to have a plot mapped out before I start writing, so I think I do all right with story cohesion and flow. I am a firm believe that you need to care about the characters more than anything else. World building and correct editing are good things, but if no one cares about your characters, it can get boring and readers lose interest.

17. What’s your writing weaknesses?

A good balance of action, description, and dialogue. Dialogue is easy for me and I like the characters interacting. But action and description are very important as well to SEE the scene and I need to work on my descriptive choices. I'm also ridiculously impatient. I want to publish NOW. And this means that perhaps some needed editing or more polish/depth is overlooked. I'm working on that.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

Absolutely. I've used mando'a a lot now in Star Wars. In history AUs I've dabbled a smidge in French and Latin to set the tone a bit. Definitely do your homework whether using a real or fictional language. People notice!! :D

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Haha. So in terms of more serious writing like I'm doing now, it's Star Wars.

But.

I wrote by hand in notebooks during high school for the original Star Trek. Had all kinds of crush on Pavel Chekov. xD We watched the re runs of it and I liked the movies as a kid so....

20. Favourite fic you’ve ever written?

Oh goodness. Can that really be answered? I like them all for vastly different reasons. If we're going for world building then likely Dragon Speaker. If we're going for in depth history fun, then The War in the Shadows. If we're going for fic I saw most clearly in my brain as I wrote and LIVED it, then Showdown at Alliance Ranch. Within the ER verse, quite possibly Fidelity because writing all that courtroom drama and the intense brotherhood of Firmus and Max going through that was just so satisfying.

But over all story? Honestly can't pick just one. Sorry!

Gently tagging @hollers-and-holmes @winterinhimring @kraytwriter @kanerallels

[greypetrel]

HI ARJA I’m so curious about your moby dick AU lol you always have the best AUs

HI ROWAN I'm glad you asked! :D It's gonna be a big ass rant, so it's under the cut. I'm very excited about this AU, it tackles some things I love and have first-hand experience of, so yeah, I'll be chatty about it ahahahah.

I've posted a chapter at random on AO3 and you can find some snippets in the whale au tag!

So, it's "Zoologist Aisling who thinks whales are the best thing after sliced bread saves Cullen, who happens to have survived a shipwreck caused by a whale". Shenanigans happen.

It was an idea of @shivunin (thank you again) and I'm currently trying to give it a little outline not to go totally at random. I am thinking about characters background, it's a non-magical AU and so stuff needs to be adapted. The title of the WIP is old, I realised after that... You know, it's a Moby Dick INSPIRED thing. The first idea was having Aisling as Melville and Cullen as Ishmael teaming up to write Moby Dick. Cullen has the sailing parts, Aisling filling in with conspiracy theories about whalers and spite over naturalists. And both of them inserting a gay relationship because I'm still a big part of the Bi!Cullen agenda, and that book is terribly gay.

I did realise later on that there's a limit to the horrors I'm willing to put characters through and write, and cannibalism is really NOT one. I also moved it to another period and to the 1900s because I already did research for another original project and I'm more familiar with it.

The title of the file will change when I'll have a better one for this AU.

For now I do have a background for Aisling, what she's in Nantucket to do, and I'm so happy to say @melisusthewee jumped on the bandwagon aboard with Quinn and Horatio, but I'm letting her introduce you to them in this. I'll just say that Aisling refers to Quinn as "Mr Arch-Nemesis".

She's in Nantucket for a research over sperm whales behaviour, restore her family's name (dad was a scholar too, but alas, he was caught being a member of the Fenian society and giving money to the Irish revolutionaries... She's the Royal Society's favourite person, yes) and hopefully put a brake on whale hunting (the 1900s saw the peak of killed whales, you can bet miss "I'd adopt a dragon if Bull didn't constantly prevent me to try and befriend one" won't be ok with it). Dorian and Josephine -whom I couldn't fathom being there with her, seriously I can't picture Dorian on a ship if not in first class, unless he was beaten unconscious before boarding and dragged on. Josie finances ships, sure... but being on board of one and working? A whole different thing. So, they're Aisling friends, but they stayed in London to get her fundings.

Cullen needs to find reason to get to the sea again, he was a harpooner and worked on ships all his life... After being the sole survivor, he needs to find his centre back and get on with it. The crazy whale fangirl may or may not help him on this.

And there was only one bed, of course. (have I already said that Moby Dick is VERY gay?) (I had a blast reading it, thank you so much @salsedinepicta for making me curious about it! <3 Also if you want to throw your characters in this GO ON.)

I thiiiink I may change names and design and also do something fully original. I'm particularly enthusiastic about it because it allows me to tackle stuff I experienced in my life (I did some sailing! Very little and purely recreational, but still) and to re-use some research I already did for another original project which I love dearly, but it's definitely more than I can chew on my own. If I don't chicken out because the place is linked to some trauma, I maaaaay add a part in the seaside town I spent a lot of time growing up.

But again, let's see how it goes, researching on Italy isn't the easiest thing ever if you're not aiming at Rome or the Renaissance, and we're talking about a pretty regional side of Italy. I have good hopes because the people are very very very much into their own history and claiming it back, so I may find some good infos without spitting too much blood.

it's a work in progress, but there's gonna be more about this!

[goldheartedsky]

tagged by my beloved @ongreenergrasses for this writer's ask so here we go!!

1) how many works do you have on AO3?

Right now, 192, though some of them are art. So if we're talking strictly *fics*, then I think around 180?

2) What’s your total AO3 word count?

a whopping 1,012,726!!!! 😵‍💫

3) What fandoms do you write for?

Right now it's almost entirely TOG, but I have written for Captain America, Agent Carter, Wolf, Close Enemies, and there are a few orphaned hockey RPF fics written by me floating around Ao3 🫣

4) What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Carry the Field, When All The Boys Can’t Be Men, Fireproof, Lines in the Sand, and Tripping On Stars which, honestly I kind of expected, though it does bum me out that none of my AndyBooker fics made it into the top 5

5) Do you respond to comments?

almost always unless it's like... real weird or an emoji that I don't know how to respond to hahah

6) What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I might have to go with Beginning to Feel the Years, solely because it's so open ended with the angst. I really love angst with a happy ending because I love a little ray of hope through the clouds, but the morning after this fic is just going to be so hard, no matter what.

7) What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I really gotta hand it to North Star for the softest ending in the world. I said fuck the haters and gave Andy a husband, 2 kids, and a picket fence with zero regrets

8) Do you get hate on fics?

not usually, people tend to save that for Tumblr, but I did get a little whining on Change Your Ticket when I started redeeming Francesca the way she deserved.

9) Do you write smut?

the fact that this is even a question and not an automatic yes is so funny. Of course I write smut. Raunchy smut, romantic smut, angsty smut, you name it, I've written it.

10) Do you write crossovers? If so, what’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Other than old Bandom crossover fics, I don't think so! I think the only thing that might count as a crossover fic is the MajidxManuel Wolf/Close Enemies fics

11) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

NO thank god 🥲

12) have you ever had a fic translated?

I have not, but I've gotten a few podfics done by @cookiemom6067

13) have you ever cowritten a fic before?

no, but I'd honestly love to cowrite one!

14) What’s your all time favorite ship?

As much as I want to say it's AndyBooker, I really gotta give it up to Steve/Bucky. They were the blueprint for a lot of my shipping patterns now.

15) What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Everything gets finished eventually, though it might take me a bit right now

16) What are your writing strengths?

Other than my smut writing skills, I think either dialogue or handling a lot of tough topics with nuance. People in fandom right now love their black and white subjects and I am all about that grey matter.

17) what are your writing weaknesses?

action sequences, without a doubt.

18) thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I tend to either keep it to small little pieces of dialogue in latinized form (especially with stuff like Arabic/Yiddish) but with Prodigal Son, I really wanted the language to be a little symbolic of how othered Ilan feels. Because most people can't read Hebrew, keeping it in its original form felt the most isolating. If you're not Jewish and know Hebrew, you won't know what Ilan's saying unless you *try* to translate it, which is more than what he gets in the fic.

So I think it can be an interesting plot device, depending on how you use it.

19) First fandom you wrote for?

Harry Potter but I was like...12 and that fandom got abandoned quick ahahah

20) Favorite fic you’ve written?

FAVORITE? Oof I usually say the Cherry Wine fics or North Star, but I'm gonna broaden my answer this time and offer a couple little one shots. I REALLY love Color Him Father just because I love the idea of transmasc!Booker, and then the one I love that doesn't get enough love is From Adam’s Rib, my golem!Winter Soldier fic

tagging @druckkugelschreiber @quinbi @captain-grammar and @shatterthefragments, as well as anyone else who wants to do this!

[undertheknightwing]

WIP GAME

Rules: Post the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigued them, and then post a little snippet or tell them something about it! And then tag as many people as you have WIPs.

Tagged by @not-so-mundane-after-all and if you don’t mind I'm gonna steal your idea since I don't have any active wips either, just ideas:

• First, obviously I'm always working on chapters. We're gonna ignore the fact that it took me two years to get to the chapter where the boys finally go on a date 🙃 but I'll give myself a pass since this is chapter 22 and I can't believe I got that far.

• Titanstober Week 4 idea that focuses on some of the horrible things done to Gar by the Chief, all seen by Rachel who somehow found herself able to wander in Gar's memories even though she hasn't been able to before and towards the end gets her answer when meeting someone very magical and powerful.

• Now to jump to another ship, I'm a sucker for re-writing episodes/scenes and I've been itching to re-write the kryptonite poisoning scenes in the s&l episode "Loyal Subjekts" to give my Jonny-Boy some hurt + comfort because it's just.. ughh.. that he didn't get sick too. He's got Kryptonian dna which means he should be affected by kryptonite. Simple as that. He's getting poisoned by kryptonite and Clark is gonna be a good dad who actually takes care of Jon for once dammit!

• Okay back to Titans, I thought about writing some kind of Christmas party fic that takes place like four years after season 4. It'd be wholesome but also bittersweet because everyone's grown up with their own lives. DickKory are living a life as normal as they can with Mar'i, Rachel is about to graduate college, and Gar's living in Metropolis with a roommate (who's also technically his co-worker) but is still the Red's champion so he's barely had time to see the Titans throughout the years. It'd be a shock to everyone that Gar actually has the time to attend the party. (that, or release the director's cut of "a very merry crossover christmas")

Now for ideas that probably won't be written but they've been stuck in my head for a while

• Since Gar is connected to life and death through the Red, I assume he can contact the afterlife and thought how emotionally damaging it'd be for Gar to visit his parents. Like I have this image of his parents afterlife being living peacefully in a cute little house where they can just enjoy each other's company, away from all the science stuff that took up their attention forever, and someday Gar shows up to finally talk to them again after so long. Heartbreaking family reunion stuff, ya know?

• In the same train as family stuff because I love it, it makes me very happy, I'm so soft for the idea of dad!Gar. It's been in my brain for years. He'd be so silly but so sweet,, I'm just in love with it 🥺💖 Anyway the idea would be Dick meeting Gar's son and being a mix of anxiety, pride, and "Oh my god I'm a grandpa and I'm not even 40". Mar'i would be super excited to have a nephew too.

• Krypto in s&l, that's all. He's Jon's dog because Jon deserves a dog.

• Jon in Wonderland au. I was obsessed with this idea, like it's all I could think about for a bit. (I have a couple drawings from the idea that I'd glady show you bestie if you ever wanna see 💙)

[frosty-the-killer-doll]

20 questions for fic writers - tagged by the lovely @supergirlboy !!!!!

How many works do you have on ao3?

98

What's your total ao3 word count?

274,783

What fandoms do you write for?

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

how do i look? (mm, frightful) - Heroes of Olympus

two rights can feel so, so wrong - Stranger Things

when the sun loves the moon - Wednesday

if flynn rider was out there, i'd probably reject him - Brooklyn 99

snow laughing matter - The Flash

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Of course! I want to let my readers know how much I appreciate their feedback 💕

What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I couldn't decide between these three:

There’s a beautiful warmth in Felicity’s watery gaze when she talks about how straight-laced and good, how wonderful, Laurel had been as a teenager. Student body president, y’know! Always the smart kid you knew was going somewhere. Felicity hadn’t even known her back then, but that never really mattered. Laurel was sharp, kind, friendly— but she could hold her own. And she had, all her life, no matter what. Until… “Until... Damien Darhk.” Barry knows, at the vile hatred burning in Felicity’s tone at that name, he isn’t going to like this part of Laurel’s life story. And he’s right.

- finding out

Somewhere in the darkness of night, she makes the choice to leave. To run away from the monster, push past the angel, barely give any thought to the hunter. Tomorrow, when the sun comes up and her body works again… For now, she stirs in the memories of Randy’s blood and Salinger’s touch. She’s going to get out of here if it kills her.

- wounded

Khione will never know them. She wishes she got to know them. She wishes she could have been made for a different purpose. She wants to be the one that hears Frost inside her head and listens to Caitlin’s bad singing. Khione is grieving the lives she never led, but the lives that her body remembers so loyally. She doesn’t remember them. But that means she’ll never forget them.

-- and if it had to perish twice

What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

maybe this oldie from smoak signals?

Laurel looked around at all these people. She’d known so many of them for years. Some were still strangers to her. She wouldn’t pass up this night for the universe. Even if she could go back to Earth-Two, she loved that so many of the people around her were alive and happy because of Prime. Eddie Thawne didn’t have to die to ensure Eobard’s defeat. Here, Barry didn’t have to break Patty’s heart. Livewire wasn’t just undead, but she was genuinely a force of good. Here, William had siblings—not blood ones, but blood didn’t matter much to them. He chose to be the brother of Zoe Ramirez and Ruby Arias, the polywogs. Maybe things weren’t always perfect. But as far as Laurel was concerned, this overwhelming linked group of outcasts was her perfect family. She loved them all, so, so, so fucking much, she didn’t know how to put it into a sentence. And she didn’t even know some of their names. That was amazing.

Do you get hate on fics?

bitch, every time I post about Max Mayfield. Her haters are alive and well in the comments of any ao3 fics that portray her in even a somewhat positive light

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I've written smut literally once and it's kinky Smoaking Canarrow threesome. I would love to write more smutty works...

Do you write crossovers?

Assuming we're not counting crossovers between media that exists in the same universe, not generally, but I did manage to sneak Crazy Jane of the Doom Patrol into an Arrowverse fic!

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

shit not that I know of

Have you ever had a fic translated?

I don't think so?

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

RAO no

What’s your all-time favorite ship to write for?

:3 teehee

What’s a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

probably bare my old, diseased soul. I haven't touched it in years; I've lost interest in soulmate AUs, even polyamorous ones that star my darling Caity.

What are your writing strengths?

shrug emoji

What are your writing weaknesses?

it's hard to spell things right when you're dyslexic so I fear there are spelling and grammar errors in some places, tho I try to reread my works a shitton to fix any I may find before posting

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

make sure to always research the shit outta whatever you're trying to say!

First fandom you wrote for?

if writing multiple novel-length fics based on the adventures of my Warrior Cats OCs counts, then Warriors. Considering those works featured literally no actual Warrior characters, I like to say The Flash.

Favorite fic you’ve written?

true to form, a fluffy pre-relationship Killersnow~

UM UM UM let's tag @the-feral-gremlin and @icedteaandoldlace and @laurensxdeath

[galacticwildfire]

Fire Meet Gasoline | Poe Dameron

Eight

Poe Dameron x Solo Original Character

Hope Solo’s haunted by the night the temple burned. Having gone rogue she hunts the First Order in search of answers until a fateful encounter with Poe Dameron brings her back to the Resistance and Leia puts her daughter under his command to find Luke Skywalker.

Word count: 9k

Tags/warnings: slowburn is slowburning, flashbacks, string theory, attachment issues, teenage sapphic angst in flashback, punching senators and stealing ships, hux being a dramatic opportunist and exposing family secrets, solo's stalling horribly, cursing, panic attack/ptsd episode, mother-daughter cover ups, references to Freefall and Bloodline

All my stories are written for adults with adult themes, I use tags but read at your discretion.

A/N: the flashbacks included are from the prequel I've published on ao3 and wattpad. It's a work in progress but mostly complete.

~

~

~

Hope

Poe and I prepare ourselves in our EVA suits as we go over the plan one last time.

"I'm still a little mad I can't use my own one of these," I remark as he helps me seal the ill-fitting dome around my head, having to take one of the Resistance issue suits onboard instead of my custom one, but the visors in these unlike my own are tinted, rendering us both unrecognisable. The supposedly breathable ventilation garments underneath only providing so much comfort in the white bags we're wearing. "I'll need to get one with a tinted helmet to save wearing these damn things."

"If this becomes a regular thing I'll be getting one made as well," he says as I return the favour in sealing his suit, taking a look at his face before ensuring his own tinted helmet's sealed. At least that eliminates one problem.

I'd been prepared for a fight when I stepped on board, but he's surprised me. He really has.

"Hurtling ourselves through the vacuum of space? Let's hope so," I grin, a little too excited for that part of the plan.

And maybe I don't mind the fact it's with him. Especially after I'd remembered something, a conversation I'd overheard between Dad and Lando talking about Poe's father.

"It's gotta be twenty years since I've seen Kes, heard he cut everyone off after his wife died," Lando had said, the name Shara Bey having been familiar to me. "It's sick, spending years away from your kid fighting only to die like that after the war was finished."

"Yeah," Dad said heavily. "Leia wrote the condolence letter, messed her up for a while since Ben was only a few years younger than their son. I can tell you she was a hell of a lot more careful with her missions after that. It's a shame, Kes was one of my best men on Endor. In the twenty years I've only heard from him once and that was when his kid ran away from home," Dad paused, struggling to remember the details at the ancient age of sixty. "He was in a panic and reaching out to any contact he could think of, turns out the kid had gotten in with a group of smugglers, or spice runners, one of the two. Kes thought I could be some help."

Ben had been there, stuffing his face with food but listening enough to take a jab at Dad and his past that Ben had always seemed to be ashamed of. "Wonder why."

"Anyways," Dad said, hardly phased by Ben at that point. "I put Kes on the right track though it seems if the kid's in the Navy now. Shara was a hell of a pilot, saved Leia's life during Cinder, only right the boy would take after her."

I look at Poe a little differently having remembered that conversation, knowing that maybe Mom had her reasons for putting us together on this mission. That he isn't the squeaky clean golden boy I'd imagined him to be, but something deeper, more flawed. 

Someone I could actually find common ground with. 

"I don't suppose you've ever ejected in space before?" he asks, unaware of my revelation. 

"Can't say I have but there's a first time for everything."

Even with the helmet obstructing his face I can feel his grin, wishing I could see it, but it's important that they're properly sealed upon takeoff since the alternative is suffocating in space. 

"Alright princess let's go steal that yacht," he says as we head over to the ships but reminds me "This time-"

"No prisoners, threatening or interrogations I got it," I finish but have to ask "Can I at least punch that senator since he can't see my face?"

I'm suddenly glad I can't see his face as he exclaims "Solo-"

"He called the General a terrorist," I say, having remembered just where I'd seen the senator before and the grudge I'd almost forgotten. 

His tune changes then. "Maybe, now let's get moving."

I grin to myself beneath the helmet and BB-8 and R2 stand between us and our ships, still reluctant to let us go without them. Poe bends down to BB-8's level and rubs his head as he protests. 

"I'm going to be sitting in a Z-95 cockpit wearing an EVA suit," Poe tells his droid, speaking to him with a warmth that's unfortunately rare between an owner and their droid. "And you want to sit on my lap?" BB-8's not entirely opposed to the thought, sulking as a child would. Droids have their own personalities, but BB-8's is quite unusual, although I would assume it's manifested as a result of Poe treating him like a child, or a pet, instead of a thing made to serve organics and carry out complex tasks. That is certainly a quality I can't find fault with, I'd be lying if I said it wasn't endearing. "I'm going to come back. I always do."

I look at R2 now, who's somehow even more reluctant to leave me, he makes a sound that resembles a cry. The same sound he makes if I ever tell him to stay with the ship.

"I promise, I'm going to come right back to you," I tell R2 and rub his dome. "You're my best friend, you know I'd never leave you."

The thought of leaving R2 alone breaks my heart, he'd have Mom, but I can't make him suffer through losing me after Luke and Anakin. Thankfully he was never that attached to Ben, especially considering I had to stop R2 from stunning him once or twice.

R2's always had my safety at the forefront of his priorities, and I know it stems from being afraid to lose me like the others. "Don't worry R2, I promise that you'll be right there with me in spirit all the way."

Reluctantly I leave him, Poe having to physically nudge me alone towards the ships at the cry R2 makes. If it's true that owners impress upon their droids, I know he's taken on my fear of being abandoned. 

"He'll be alright, they both will," Poe promises me, as an x-wing pilot he wouldn't be used to flying without his astromech either. "And we'll make it back to them."

It's then Mom emerges, coming to stand beside R2 and keeps a gentle hand to keep him in place as she bids us farewell, her voice is strong but I feel the nerves that leave her struggling to maintain her composure. 

But as always, she does. "May the force be with you."

Those are words I haven't heard in a very long time, and finally I know I actually have something to return to. Which is why I can't fail. 

~

The seven hours we wait for that damn yacht to come out of hyperspace gives me time to think. Too much time. Especially since we have to maintain complete radio silence for security measures.

But for once my thoughts aren't all bad.

I'd fully expected him to not even want to look at me, and yet I couldn't tear my eyes away from his. I can't remember the last time I'd had a conversation with someone without it resulting in a fight, especially not with someone who's sat and listened to me with the intent of understanding and not just correcting or trying to convince me to do something.

He had every reason to turn his back on me, but he hasn't and I can't help but be stunned even now. After all, I've been condemned as a Sith by people who've known me far longer for far less.

Those last days at the temple come to mind as they often do when I'm left alone in my own thoughts for too long, back when I'd grappled with the darkness almost as severely as Ben had. 

I'd been reluctant to leave Mom after the scandal, but she encouraged me to finish my training. I devoted myself to it until the holonews broadcast of Mom's colleague being assassinated five feet away from her had sent me into a panic attack. I'd sought comfort, reassurance, to which Aylee had merely told me to distance myself from politics as Luke had despite the fact Mom could have just as easily been the one who was killed. It had been the most recent of her lectures regarding my emotions and attachments and frankly I couldn't listen to it for a moment longer. 

Ben had even failed to reassure me when I'd gone running to him, his own anger towards Mom stronger than any concern for her wellbeing, and I'd found myself talking with Luke in the temple when he caught me trying to sneak back in. It was the last civil conversation we'd have with one another. 

"Mom could have been assassinated," I stated and he lowered his eyes as I let it out. "Don't tell me my reaction is out of proportion or that I should just separate myself from politics because I won't!"

He raised his hands in his defence as he spoke slowly. "I wasn't going to, I was just going to ask how you are."

We'd been at odds with my anger towards him for leaving Mom to face the scandal alone, for forgiving Vader, for holding me back. It had consumed me to the point Ben had to intervene when I'd returned to the temple. Yet he still tried to extend a peace offering to me. 

"Exhausted."

"Really? I hadn't noticed the way your brother has had you training from dawn until dusk every day like you're preparing for war," he remarked but realised with my silence there were things I hadn't told him. "Hope, this scandal and what's come of it is not an indicator of another war."

"But it is," I said and found my voice thin. "I've seen it Luke, in visions. I've seen myself shot and hiding behind cover with R2 my only chance of making it out alive from an enemy I couldn't see. I don't know what's coming, but I know something is."

He reached for my arm and inspected the minor burns from the training droids I'd rewired. "And so getting shot at is your solution?"

"I can't afford to get stunned, it knocks me out for too long when I could be training."

He nodded in fond amusement. "Has anyone ever told you patience is a virtue? Because I know your parents sure haven't."

I couldn't find it in myself to be angry with him considering how true it was. "You know patience isn't in my blood."

"It's not," he admitted. "And believe it or not it wasn't in mine either, but I had to learn it as part of the discipline it takes to become a Jedi."

"But I'm already a Jedi."

"You are a Jedi padawan, yes," he said, sitting down on one of the benches and inviting me to sit with him, and surprisingly enough I accepted. "But not yet a Jedi."

Despite our differences Luke was a good master, perhaps not the master for me, but he was my uncle and the counsel he gave me that night has stuck with me over the years. Even if I'd forgotten it the moment I'd returned to the room I shared with Aylee and found her waiting for me. 

She had hardly been able to look at me after I'd become Ben's apprentice, but that was only one of the many things that drove a wall of beskar between us. I'd seen first hand the fall of the Jedi when I'd visited the temple on Coruscant, having pieced together that the complacency and arrogance of the council made them so blind they wouldn't be able to sense a Sith lord if he was standing right in front of him. 

Which as it seems was the case after all. 

But she believed that the fall of the order came solely as a result of the Jedi straying from the code, instead of seeing their fall as the complex cataclysm of war, ideology and failed leadership that it was. That blood is foremost on the hands of the Jedi council, the Sith could never have risen and orchestrated a massacre right in front of them if they weren't so blind. 

But she never saw it that way, and I could only take so much of her righteous devotion despite Luke's advice to let us interpret the force and the code how we saw fit. 

"I'm sorry," she began. "I shouldn't have been so insensitive."

"I'd use the word cold," I said and let free what I'd held back considering her promises to me before everything was exposed. The promise we would finally be together, before she decided it disagreed with the code she'd begun to follow. "It's all you've seemed to be since I've come back. You haven't looked at me the same and don't pretend it's just because you've gone and radicalised yourself with scriptures."

"Radicalised?" she repeated in disbelief before shaking her head. "I thought you'd be more cultured than to confuse devotion with radicalisation."

"I'm intelligent enough to see one leads to the other."

"Intelligent?" she scoffed "You're a lot of things Hope but intelligent isn't one of them." I huffed as she let her own grievances free. "You're arrogant and egotistical and impulsive and hotheaded and everything a Jedi shouldn't be, but you're the one who has an insane amount of power that should never have existed!"

"Oh bring it up with the force then!" I returned and couldn't help but laugh at how twisted everything had become. "It created me, it created the man I came from, so if my existence offends you bring it up with the thing that made me this way! You can't devote yourself to something and then criticise it, that's not what the scriptures say is it? No, they preach blind devotion and lack of free thinking, so if you're going to go and follow the old ways then do it properly. You might think I'm ignorant but at least I'm not blind!"

"Your existence does not offend me," she gritted out, her blue skin flushed purple with the heat that came to her face. "The way you've been acting has. Like you can come back and suddenly master the force in a fortnight whilst contributing nothing to the temple or its upkeep. At least your brother instructs the younglings when Master Luke allows it and does his best to help, you care nothing for the other students or the temple. In fact I don't think you care about anyone but yourself with how you've galavanted around the galaxy whilst I sat here sending transmission after transmission because you were missing and not returning anyone's calls after you got yourself expelled from university and-"

"I'm sorry, I was a little bit too busy finding out my grandfather was Darth Vader and getting shot at!" I yelled and that finally shut her up. "Something you've treated like it's been nothing-"

"Oh I know it hasn't been nothing because you are not the same person that left this temple," she said and finally confessed "We can all feel the shadow that follows you, it's suffocating me having to sleep in the same room as it."

"I'm sorry you're too weak to have to sense what I've lived with for years!" I yelled, my anger finally showing itself. "This hasn't just come out of nowhere Aylee, it's always been there! And I'm sorry I'm so suffocating to even be in the same room with so go kriff of with your scriptures and bullshit if you can't stand me!" She panicked as I raised my voice and reached for me in an attempt to calm me but I swatted her hands away. "No, you started this so you can finish it."

She swallowed hard as she looked at me. "I can feel the dark side in you Hope, we all can."

"Maybe I don't fear the dark side as you do," I finally said, having lived with it for so long and watched something akin to fear fill her eyes. "What is it your scriptures say? Fear leads to anger, anger to hate, and hate to-"

"To what you are," she finished, her voice wavering. "Or what I know you'll become if you continue down this path. Just because there is darkness in you does not mean you have to embrace it as Vader did. Although sometimes I look in your eye and wonder if it's too late for that."

I searched her eyes, my closest friend, someone who was more than that, and yet in that moment she felt like nothing to me. It was spite that drove me to kiss her, spite that was only further driven by the way she physically recoiled, something she'd never done before despite the isolated kisses we'd shared over the years.

And I knew there was no coming back as I looked her in the eye, because everything she said was true about the darkness that had found its way into my heart.

"You have no idea how dark it gets."

At the age of seventeen I was a tad melodramatic, perhaps I still am, but I wasn't wrong. 

That wouldn't be our last fight, that came the day the temple burned, but it was the one that convinced me everything Ben had ever told me was true. I mourned her, but I don't know if I ever felt the same towards her after that fight. I'd decided in the aftermath I never wanted to let anyone that close again, never wanted to feel the cold touch of someone I'd relied on for warmth. 

In fact it's ironic that that fight was the most passion she'd ever showed me. In her mind romantic feelings were acceptable, or at least until Luke granted her permission to the old order's surviving scriptures, and in her eyes anything that bordered on passion was dangerous. 

Meanwhile when I think of Poe... it's a silly feeling, one I should be violently rejecting for my own sake if nothing else.

But...

I bang my head back against the seat as if that could somehow numb my thoughts, especially when I find myself playing with my hands, remembering his thumb moving against mine. If Poe Dameron is anything, he's one smooth bastard. Probably not the brightest if he's using those charms on me of all people, but admirably brave. He'll need to be to get through this mission.

And finally I feel it.

My engines are the first to ignite a split second before the Hevurion Grace comes out of hyperspace and I'm off. Poe follows only a moment after and as expected they broadcast their distress signal the second they get sight of us, and that's when I activate the control on the wristbrace of my suit, the timer being displayed out of the corner of my eye.

Eight minutes.

Without any hesitation I happily fire my concussion missiles into the yacht and Poe follows suit a second after. Defensive flares activate to cause the first missile to explode prematurely as they attempt an evasive manoeuvre, but they aren't fast enough as my second missile penetrates their shields and cuts power to the yacht while the impact of Poe's missiles ensure that whoever's inside is no doubt scared for their lives.

Poe's ship boosts forward as he activates his throttle, heading sharply for the yacht and I do the same, double checking my gear satchel is secure along with my sidearm as we prepare to eject.

"Fucking gloves," I mutter as I try to make the preparations and put the ship into autopilot with the damn oversized gloves of the EVA suit, confused for a moment when I don't hear R2 talking to me but remember he's not there.

Our ships align with the belly of the yacht, keeping an eye on the range finder as I fumble with the harness around my chest to release it, not having accounted for the difficulty of my own damn space suit. It seems Poe's in a similar dilemma as he hasn't ejected yet either and I'm slamming my fist down on the ejector plate as I reach the very limit of the acceptable range to eject and wrench the handle back as the ship's alarms scream at me, hearing the bolts on the canopy detonate the moment before I'm ejected.

I've made some emergency exists sure but never in the vacuum of space, so when I'm thrown into it I'm truly not sure what to expect, but flying through space with nothing holding me down is a feeling I don't think I'm going to forget any time soon. The momentum of the starfighter hurtles me towards the yacht, the optical illusion makes it appear as if it's the yacht hurtling towards me and not the other way around. So perhaps the sheer speed at which I'm about to hit the yacht occurs to me a little late and I'm cursing as I ignite the momentum thrusters on my suit and bring my hands up, the force counteracting with the laws of physics to enable to me collide with the hull at a thud instead of with a crushed spine.

In panic I look back to see Poe about to make contact and bring my hand up to slow his collision, he seems to momentarily panic at whatever sensation he's feeling before making contact just below me, far more softly than he would have otherwise.

Under any other circumstances I would have liked to take in the vastness of space but we don't have the time and so I reach for one of the handholds, pulling myself towards the access hatch with ease, utilising the force to manoeuvre myself without gravity far easier than Poe is below me. But this is why I was brought on this mission, to ensure if one of us doesn't make it on time the other does.

But more importantly, to make sure we both make it out alive.

He catches up as I reach the access port, being the one hanging off the edge of it he pulls the fusion torch from his belt to give me and comes to my side as I begin breaking the seals, a quick look at the timer out of the corner in my eye informs me we're down to six minutes and fifty seconds by the time I've popped the last seal and Poe reaches to try to help me pull the door open, only to struggle with no gravity to balance our own weightlessness against the physical force needed to open the door. Five seconds into wrestling with the hatch is enough for me and I swat his hand away to use the strength of the force to pull it open. Poe jolts as the edge of the door hits my hand and I slither my way inside, reaching out to pull him in with me before slamming the door shut behind us and hear him call out through the viser as he takes the fusion torch from my hand.

"I'll seal the door, you get to the cockpit!"

The timer's down to six minutes thirty five, the ship's gravity transmitters are offline along with everything else as I begin moving down the ladder while he reseals the door. Everything's pitch black except for the floodlight attached to my helmet illuminating my way down but I was trained to do far more dangerous things blind.

The moment I feel my feet touch the ground he's following me down, hearing voices in the hall I switch on the speakers in the helmet and pull my blaster free. This being the part I've been most excited for.

Just as his feet hit the ground gravity and other operations come back online, light illuminating the way into the hall and we both have our blasters extended as we find only three people huddling together. Seem's the senator can't afford any more than a pilot and a servant.

I go to step forward but Poe puts a hand out to keep me back as he takes the lead on this one. 

"This ship is property of the Irving Boys," Poe announces, theirs and mine both it seems, the speakers of the suit distort his voice ensuring anonymity. 

But I can't help but hear the senator's voice in my head and every accusation he's thrown against Mom and I as I tilt my head towards him. 

"Do you know who I am!" the Senator splutters and I move forward, tearing off the damn oversized glove to grab him. "How dare-" he shuts up when I throw my fist into his face while Poe shoots at the deck, causing the pilot and the servant to scatter while I keep hold of the senator.

"Do you know how much ransom you'd be worth?" I ask the Senator before bringing my blaster up to his head, unable to help but put some fear into him after the bullshit he's spat as he chokes on the blood running into his mouth. "Or I could shut you up for good?"

"Now- now, let's not do anything too hasty!" he insists, holding up shaking hands as Poe aims his blaster at him for good measure. A little less righteous now he's having fun it seems. "I- I could-"

"I don't care," I say and shove him towards Poe as I remember the timer's still going down and we need to get out of here. "Throw him out the hatch."

'Wait- wait!" the Senator yells as Poe instead shoves him towards the escape pods where the rest of the undersized crew have gone and I run to the cockpit.

Five minutes thirty. This is good. This is good timing.

I'm ripping off the other glove to pull the preprogrammed data chip with the hyperspace co-ordinates out, along with dumping the rest of my own gear unceremoniously on the floor as Poe rushes back in, following suit in tugging off his gloves along with his helmet.

"They gone?"

"They're gone," he confirms, both of us sweaty from being trapped in those damn helmets for seven hours with our own body heat and recycled breath to keep us company. "How's it looking?"

"Good," I answer, although sparing no time in flicking controls as he goes to help get everything back online. "Just over five minutes on the timers and the engines should be back online within three minutes, the hyperdrive should be charged not long after. I'll get these booster cables fitted and bypass the motivator so the time to jump should be less than a minute once the engines are back online. We should have ninety seconds to spare before the Republic reach the system."

"Great, this is going good, great actually," he says to himself as much as me as I gather the parts and he calls out as I head for the door. "You know I didn't say you could hit him right?"

"You enjoyed it almost as much as I did," I shoot back and catch his grin before I run to the hyperdrive generator.

My movements are automatic as I attach the booster cables and make some not completely safe adjustments to bypass the motivator, but it should be good for two hyperspace jumps and we only have to make one. But with two minutes until the engines are even back online a wave of utter darkness washes over me and I run to one of the windows on the side of the ship only for my stomach to drop at the sight of two star destroyers.

The First Order.

"Solo!" Poe yells from the cockpit, still trying to get the engines online while alarms start to blare from the radar. "We have ships-"

"Star destroyers."

"Star destroyers?" He repeats and stammers "As in plural?"

"As in plural," I confirm as I manoeuvre the ship with what little propulsion it's still got so we're facing it head on, the sight only making the gravity of the situation hit harder. "Fuck."

"Fuck," he agrees, there's three minutes and twenty nine seconds on the timer, but the Republic's irrelevant now. What matters is how long until the engines and hyperdrive are online. "Looks like you were right."

"I really wish I wasn't," I say as I start fiddling with the controls and shake my head. "We've still got more than two minutes until the hyperdrive's charged and the engines aren't even online yet. Got any bright ideas?"

"Yeah, don't die," he answers, trying to bypass anything and everything to get those engines online as tie fighters descend from the destroyers but it's as I pull up it's identification everything changes.

"Wait-wait-"

"What?"

"It's the Finalizer," I realise and with that I'm slamming my hand down onto the console trying to send a transmission. "I can stall."

"How?" he exclaims, believing that destroying this ship and everything on it is their first priority, but if they know I'm onboard that changes everything.

"Jedi," I answer but he grabs my hand just before I can send it.

"They can't know it's us remember, complete deniability-"

"The Republic can't know it's us," I correct as the ties descend at an alarming speed.

"Really?" he exclaims, knowing this is the most explicit way I could possibly go against mission orders. "You're risking this on a technicality!"

"I'm sorry, what's worse? Getting blown up for nothing and failing the mission anyways or getting in a bit of trouble with the Republic for a hijacking!"

He looks at me in pure astonishment before making one last attempt at reasoning. "The General was very clear-"

"Oh shut up and let me talk my way out of this," I say and swat his hand away before sending the transmission, knowing my political value as a captive. "I'm too important for them to kill."

"Solo I swear-"

"Be a good flyboy and steer this while we wait for the hyperdrive to charge up huh?" I say, patting his offended face as we wait for them to accept it. "Let me take care of the First Order." He's stunned into silence as I take the data disk out of my pocket I'd intended to use to steal the data for myself and order him "Get the data and transfer it onto this, if this goes south get on an escape pod and get this to the Resistance. The First Order will want me more than that."

His face falls once he realises what my plan is but before he can object a transmission comes through "Heruvian Grace-"

"This is Hope Solo," I immediately spit out and a moment later the ties divert course, instead surrounding the ship instead of firing directly on it and Poe looks around in disbelief as I nod for him to go to the computers and get the data, very reluctantly he does as I order him.

"Hope Solo?" a surprised voice says and I immediately dislike it. "This is General Hux of the First Order. It is certainly a surprise to find a princess committing piracy."

"General Hux? I don't believe I've heard of you, and your intelligence must be pretty bad then, or you're out of the loop considering the twenty or so ties you sent after me last week," I say, knowing I can expose myself but not the Resistance. If I survive this I'll be the one dealing with the collateral in the senate regardless. "Hondo's gonna love this story. Two star destroyers just for me? I'm flattered."

Poe's face changes when he realises I'm throwing myself under the speeder to ensure this is seen as a rogue operation and there's a scoff on the other end. "The ego is a family trait I see."

So he does know Ben, and he knows exactly who he is.

"Pray tell, what the hell could be on this floating money pit that's so valuable?" I continue, stalling for time and very aware of the fact my brother's identity is unknown to most of high command, let alone a commander, and also the fact I have to ensure this is not mistaken as a Resistance operation. "I've been targeting it for weeks waiting to ambush and turn it into credits, but something tells me he must be a friend of yours."

"Really, General Organa didn't send you to hijack this ship?"

"Your intelligence is awfully terrible then after all if they can't tell you I haven't spoken to my mother in a year," I say, considering I'd returned to base only a week ago so I'm willing to bet their intelligence hasn't picked up on it. I look back at Poe and find him struggling with a firewall preventing him from accessing the data. He gives a grave shake of his head as we realise it will take the Resistance's own codebreakers to get into it, which means one of us escaping with the intelligence isn't an option. "And besides Hux, I'm sure you know by now that my style's rogue. I like to hunt your ships whilst lining my pockets, can't do that on my mother's orders can I?"

"I don't care whose orders you're operating on, yours or otherwise, because we both know that you have targeted this ship because you know precisely how valuable it is, whether it's Resistance's intelligence or your own. You know you are not running away this time."

"There is nothing onboard this ship that could be more valuable than I am alive," I state confidently. "And you won't be the one to issue the command, not when you know what Kylo Ren would do to you if you did. Men like you are willing to die for the cause, but are you willing to endure what people like us can do to people like you?" Poe's head turns slowly towards me and my voice shakes. "I demand to speak to him."

"You are in no position to demand anything-"

"Where is he!" My voice comes out as something unhinged, desperate, and I can almost feel Hux smiling at the plea in it. 

"Our spy told you he was here didn't he? He doesn't stay in one place for too long, not when he's trying to hunt down Skywalker to finish what he failed to do that night. Although Skywalker isn't his first priority, you are."

Somehow all I can do is draw a shaky breath as a chill washes over me.

"It truly is a shame he isn't on board," Hux continues and I search through the force, but there's nothing, and cold tears come to my eyes. "He's been waiting for a long time to reunite with his apprentice."

I feel Poe's eyes on me but I don't dare bring myself to look at him, and when I speak the cockiness has disappeared from my voice.

"I can't imagine he'd be too pleased if you blew me up before then, or Snoke for that matter," I say, my strength slowly returning to me as I remember just what I am and the value I hold. "The heir of Vader's worth more to your leader than whatever's on this ship."

"Are you?" he questions. "Because Snoke already has one of you on a leash, he doesn't need two." 

I can only pray those words go over Poe's head as I spit back "Don't be so sure about that."

"And what makes you so sure Ren wouldn't issue the command to kill you himself?" Hux continues and something wrenches in my chest. "He left you for dead after betraying Skywalker."

"No, he didn't," I hiss before I'm able to get a hold of myself and know Ben would be cursing me out for acting weak. 

But he didn't leave me to die.

He was the one who saved me that night.

He was the one who pulled me out.

He was the one who- I find myself blinking now as flashes come back to me of Voe, of Tai, of Hennix. Standing there hurling blame as Ben put himself in front of me with Luke nowhere to be found. I can taste the blood and ash in my mouth even now.

"Then why did he run to Snoke?" Hux mocks, and I look at the diagnostics that tell me my stalling for all the hell it's brought me has just about worked. 

"He'll kill you," I warn, feeling Poe's alarm blaringly loud. "He tried to kill Luke for far less, so what makes you think he'll spare you?"

"Kylo Ren is a mad dog on a leash, he doesn't bite unless he's ordered to," Hux says while my eyes continue to burn. "We both know he's no Vader, and neither are you, so you serve no value to me alive." It's then I anticipate it and activate the thrusters the moment before those ties get the order. "Fire."

Poe's the one who grabs the controls to take charge of the ship while I divert all power to the engines, shooting forward hard enough my hand slams against the console to steady myself.

"We have forty seconds until we can make the jump," I swallow, activating the automatic cannons as he dodges the assault of laser cannon fire from the ties expertly, banking hard to the point I have to grab the back of his chair to remain standing, but somehow I can't quite bring myself to appreciate his piloting skills at present when I'm looking back at two star destroyers.

But I feel it, the hesitation coming from that general. He wouldn't dare kill me without direct orders, no, if he wanted us dead we'd be dodging direct hits from two capital ships instead of tie-fighters. 

"They want to capture us not kill us."

"The two dozen ties say otherwise!" he argues and I point towards the gas giants.

"To capture us they need to get us in range of their tractor beam, they've sent the ties to try to trap us. If they were going to kill us they'd be trying harder, trust me I'd know. Just head straight for those gas giants, the yachts small enough to slip between their magnetic fields without being crushed but the destroyer won't be able to get through."

With no other plan he does as I tell him and makes a sharp turn as I begin preparing to make the jump once the hyperdrive's charged. "How much longer?"

"Twenty," I answer, the destroyers closing in fast. "But we'll make it."

He nods, not wanting to doubt that, and puts all attention into outmanoeuvring the ties that try to block us from getting through the two gas giants but even this is getting too close to my liking with the speed at which the destroyers are gaining, along with their tractor beams.

And Ben isn't on either to stop it.

But as I look back at those damn ships I wonder if he would even stop it, or if he'd be the one ordering the capture.

"How close are they?" he asks and I choose to lie for the sake of morale.

"Far, far away- just keep going and don't look back."

"So we're fucked? Gotcha," he says, as he swerves again without warning and I have to grab his arm to keep from hitting the ground before finally forcing myself into the co-pilots seat and his voice is thick with sarcasm. "Look at that, a smart idea."

"I'm not used to being the one not flying and I stalled didn't I!"

"Yeah well I don't know about your theory that they aren't trying to kill us!" he yells just before a blast from one of the destroyers explodes in front of us and suddenly I'm doubting my theory as well. "Because sorry princess but I don't think Hux likes you."

"Yeah well if he kills me he's getting brutally tortured and murdered!" I grit out with full confidence in that theory. 

"Won't matter if we're dead!" he yells but that's when diagnostics notifies us that the hyperdrive is finally charged and without hesitation I pull the lever to make the jump and we're hurtled into hyperspace.

Suddenly it's completely quiet in the cockpit without the birage of lasercannon fire and I hear my own breath, sharp and unsteady alongside his own. Once I process the fact we actually made it I fall back against the chair and realise my hands are shaking, but not from almost dying.

I inhale only to feel ash in my lungs and finally Poe's voice breaks through the silence, far gentler than it was a moment ago and heavy with concern. "Hope?"

All I can do is swallow hard as I force myself to my feet, gripping the back of the chair for dear life as I find my footing. "We made it, let's hope whatever's onboard's worth it."

I go to leave the cockpit until I feel his hand covering mine before I can let go of the chair, the pity in his eyes drives home just how much he'd heard. "We completed the mission, that's all that matters."

I give a stiff nod and slip my hand free from beneath his to make my way out towards the hyperdrive, so I have some excuse to be alone right now even though he doesn't ask for one. 

"Fuck," I breathe as I bury my face in my hands, having slid down to the floor before even taking in where I've ended up. The only sounds I can hear are the ones echoing in my head. Screams and tears and accusations I can't put memories to. 

My fingertips slip over my arm, as if I could feel the scar tissue beneath the ventilation garment. I remember that scar, remember the scream that was torn from me as Ben's saber made contact when I tried to get past him to Luke's collapsed hut. 

Then the lightning hit.

I don't know how long I'm on the floor for, only snapped out of it when Poe enters and gently brings me to my feet without questions, without accusations, he just helps me up and tells me "We've landed."

I avoid looking at his face now that he knows what he does and by the time we reach the exit I've managed to compose myself, weakly removing his hold on me before we step out and when my eyes find Mom waiting I force I smile.

"What did I tell you?" I ask, raising my arms as I motion back towards the ship. "Never tell me the odds."

"We got your yacht," Poe says, deciding to go along with it since clearly neither of us like giving her a reason to worry, and notice him also trying to ease my own worry with the look of reassurance he gives me. 

"Flyboys are all the same," Mom says shaking her head.

"Hey, some of us are flygirls too," Poe points out, and my smile is slightly more genuine. 

"Oh I know," Mom assures us. "It's a rare pilot who engages two star destroyers and lives to tell the tale."

"Word travels fast," Poe remarks.

"Yes, it does," she says, although becomes slightly alarmed when she sees the damage to the ship and asks "What happened?"

"The First Order happened," he answers, both of us knowing there's no hiding that fact and I brace myself for the interrogation. "But we made it out, barely."

"I had the situation perfectly under control," I insist and his eyebrows shoot up. "And considering we're alive you can't argue with that."

He tsks as he tries to correct. "Actually, we're alive because of my piloting-"

"No, no, we're alive because of my plan," I correct back and he laughs, but it's not mocking.

"You did not have a plan."

"Yes I did, it's called improvisation," I say and he's grinning now as he shakes his head. "And it worked."

Mom looks between us in amusement but her face changes when her eyes land on me, studying my face for only a moment before reluctantly asking "Hope, what did you do?"

"I stalled for time until we were able to make the jump to hyperspace," I say as the droids come over and I make my attempt at an exit. "R2-"

I go to dash over to him but she raises a hand to keep me from my droid. "You stalled?"

I sigh and look back at her, deciding to defend my decision instead of asking for forgiveness for compromising our deniability. "They sent two star destroyers and dozens of ties, I contacted their command and exchanged insults with General Hux until the engines were back online and we made it out."

Her face is difficult to read and she turns to Poe who to my surprise backs me up, sacrificing pride to admit it was my plan that got us out. Although admittedly his piloting did help. "We would have been killed if she hadn't. She took the fall for it, made it seem like a rogue operation instead of Resistance. I don't know if he believed it but he doesn't seem to have anything to prove otherwise."

"And besides, they can't have their agents in the senate expose me without exposing themselves," I add on and motion towards the ship. "I'm sure there's some blackmail in there to keep them quiet."

I don't know what to expect as she looks between us and the ship until she puts a hand on my shoulder. "I taught you well it seems, and I am beyond relieved you both made it out in one piece."

But it's when she brings me into her arms she feels how my body still shakes and pulls back in concern, keeping her eyes on me as she says "Commander Dameron, you've done good work today. Rest and then get started on the after action reports. We'll debrief in the morning."

"Yes General," he says and I catch his concerned glance towards me before he and BB-8 leave the hangar. "See buddy, told you we'd make it back."

Mom's voice is quiet once he's gone and no one else is in earshot. "What happened?"

"I- I thought I'd found him Mom, I thought I was safe," I manage to get out. "The Finalizer- he should have been on board."

She blinks in confusion. "Why would you have thought he'd be onboard?"

It's then I realise my screw up. 

"Hope," she says slowly. "What don't I know?"

My voice is weak. "Please don't be mad."

Her eyes widen but she gives a single nod and promises me "As long as you tell me the truth I won't be angry."

It's the greatest lie told by any parent but I go along with it.

"When we went to Batuu to get the ships a First Order spy tried to kill me," I spit out before I can decide to lie. "I grabbed him and started asking questions, Poe took over when I got carried away but he killed himself before we could stop him."

From the look in her eye it's blindingly clear Poe definitely mentioned nothing and she purses her mouth as she looks around and keeps her voice quiet. "What do you mean by carried away?"

"I shot him after he tried to shoot me," I say and she nods along, knowing I didn't break the laws of engagement if he shot first. "Then I got out my lightsaber and stuck my blaster in his wound when he wouldn't talk."

"Hope-"

"He tried to kill me to get a promotion, he was perfectly aware of what he was doing and showed no remorse for it," I insist, even she knows that I'm aware of the difference between those who work for the First Order willingly as opposed to those who were indoctrinated into it. "But what matters is that he told me that Kylo Ren is stationed onboard the Finalizer. Hux confirmed that he's usually onboard and that he'd be disappointed he missed a reunion with his apprentice."

Her concerns shift and she grows paler. "Poe heard this?"

I nod and advise her "Have the onboard recordings from the mission wiped before intelligence get's hold of them. Hux knows who Ben is and what happened that night, or at least parts of it." Mom's face is grave as she keeps a hold on my shoulder. "Poe knows I was Kylo Ren's apprentice, Hux didn't he didn't say who Kylo Ren was word for word but he said enough about already having one of the heirs of Vader and not needing another. The Commander doesn't have a great record of piecing things together but it would have been hard to miss that."

She nods in understanding and promises me "I'll take care of it, meanwhile take care of yourself and rest. We'll be transferring back to D'Qar in the morning."

She gives me one last concerned look over before leaving me in R2's hands and boarding the ship herself before anyone else can and I bend down to R2's height, resting my head on his dome to ground myself.

I don't know who in high command knows what, Admiral Ackbar is the only person I could imagine she'd trust enough to divulge the truth about what her son has become if he hadn't put it together first. I'd suspect others have their suspicions but wouldn't dare be brave enough to confront her when the official story is that he died in the fire. 

After seeing what her paternity had cost her it was a sensible decision to have the galaxy believe Ben was dead. She could be forgiven for sharing blood with an evil man she had only met in imprisonment, but for a man she birthed and raised to become the same evil that Vader was after the accusations the senate had thrown at us... it would be the final nail in the coffin for all of us.

Even the Resistance itself would be fractured, none would doubt her loyalty to the cause but they would doubt if her duty as a general outweighed hers as a mother, they would doubt her competence and capabilities. Hell the senate accused her of being a spy for Vader, there's no theory to outlandish to be believed. After all, if she couldn't keep her own son from falling to the darkness then how could she possibly keep the galaxy from falling to it? It would be the Vader scandal all over again, but there wouldn't be any returning from it this time.

And me... I'd be damned to hell right beside my brother. At sixteen years old I was damned for being the granddaughter of a man I'd never known, being the apprentice of the new Vader is something I'd never be able to escape from.

Which is why my hands shake as I look towards the exit of the hanger that Poe left through. 

Mom returns and I feel her hand on my shoulder as she reassures me "I'll deal with Poe and find out what he's put together. I trust him and his commitment to the cause, but also his personal loyalty to myself. If he has his suspicions he wouldn't breathe a word of it to anyone."

I swallow hard and ask her "How much longer can we play this game Mom? People aren't blind." My voice wavers as I remember Boba Fett's words to me. "A temple is destroyed and a Skywalker dies just as a new Vader rises. History repeats and there's only so much longer we can control this before it blows up in our faces just like before."

"Your brother is yet to become a new Vader," she promises me. "Which means he isn't lost, not yet. We control this by keeping it quiet until we can find Luke and bring Ben back before greater harm is done."

"Those things aren't exclusive," I warn her, remembering what happened before the lightning struck and knowing Luke sure as hell can't bring him back. "The Resistance needs Ben more than Luke."

"You," she corrects gently. "You need him more than Luke, but what the Resistance needs is Luke Skywalker." I open my mouth but she shuts me down "But, we do need to bring Ben back before he does become what Vader did. He's the First Order's enforcer, but he's yet to commit the atrocities Vader did. As long as his identity is not known to the greater galaxy, he still has a way to come home."

"Hux said he's a mad dog on a leash," I say and her face hardens. "I told Hux what Ben would do to him if he killed me and he simply said that he wouldn't bite without being ordered to. He's a slave to Snoke Mom, I fucking warned him-"

She hushes me now, holding me by both arms as tears fill my eyes. "I know you did sweetheart, I know how hard you tried to bring him back from the brink after he discovered the truth. Luke told me what happened in the temple on Coruscant."

I still feel Ben's grip on my arm as he dragged me out the door of Dad's apartment on Theron having decided the only place we could find the truth of Anakin Skywalker would be on Coruscant. 

Except I was the only one who saw the slaughter with my own eyes. 

"I showed Ben the holorecording of Anakin kneeling before Palpatine and told him his hero became a slave," I tell Mom, the irony painful. "When he tried to justify Anakin's decision to turn against the Jedi and take Palpatine as his master I showed him the truth of it and he didn't listen. Now history's just repeated itself."

"You can't save someone from themself," she says, her voice gentle but firm. "It is a painful fact I have had to come to terms with. I have had to watch my husband, my brother, my son, and my daughter lose themselves and learn I only have so much power to bring them back."

A tear finally spills down my cheek. "I came back didn't I?"

She nods now and holds me tight while I bury my face in her shoulder to hide the other tears that threaten to spill after being without her for so long. "You have, because you made that decision yourself, just as Ben must." Her hand smoothes over the braided crown around my head, no doubt a horrible mess by now. "Just as I told you all those years ago, you have my strength and now you need to stay and fight instead of running when things don't go your way." I give a muffled sound of agreement and she promises me "I love you, and I am proud of the work you've done today. Now rest, and we'll debrief in the morning once you've composed yourself."

"I love you too Mom," I manage to get out but I don't let go yet, I can't, and she holds onto me until I can finally breathe steadily and I look up at that damn yacht and pray whatever's onboard is worth it. 

[revvethasmythh]

In response to your Fearne/Chetney song post: Consider this ask an opportunity to pick any playlists you have and ramble about them, I absolutely love discovering new music through playlists!

yes EXCELLENT thank you!!

okay to keep myself on task so I don't just ramble for like 5k words, I'm going to treat this a top 10 list and this is going to specifically be for my widobrave playlist because she is my baby and I've been working on her for a long time and you know what? the wb tag deserves a little love. I'm going to try to spotlight different songs than I talked about before, too, for diversity's sake

this is absolutely going to get long, so I'll put the rest under the cut.

1: I And Love And You, The Avett Brothers

oh boy, oh boy, oh boy. What is there to say that the song does not say itself? There are a few ways I think this song could be interpreted depending on how you're reading the lyrics, but the line "that woman she got eyes that shine/like a pair of stolen polished dimes" is so fucking good and so Veth this will always be a top song for me. Also need to shout out the "the dream's the catch/the world's the cage" line in this one, because that has always made me think back to Heart in a Cage--I consider them related in my own personal widobrave lyrical thematic universe. Verdict: The vibes are excellent. The Avett brothers always pull through for me

2. Summertime, MCR

obviously this was going to show up in wb song list for me because I named one of my fics after this song! I've always associated summer with wb anyway, but the additional layer of the summer camp and that being a time they specifically spend together in post-canon makes it even better. "You can run away with me any time you want" also follows through on the "runaway" theme that they've both had on their separate playlists (Runaway by Yeah Yeah Yeahs on Caleb's first playlist and Runaway Pt. 1 (Love Has Limits) by Colony House on the Veth playlist).

3. Who Will I Hold, The Avett Brothers

I am screaming and crying and throwing up every time this song comes on. Listen to their one-on-one talk in episode 121 and then listen to this song. The lyrics are so remarkably accurate, it's a thing to behold. "I'm bracing for loneliness, I know it's coming/Now, who will I hold when you're gone?"

4. Hand Over Heart, Gin Wigmore

Melancholy and loving and again incredibly accurate lyrics from "and promise me, day and night/you'll always be my best friend" to "you got the magic to light up the stars/it's like the world is spinning just for you."

5. Not Alone, Shawn James

Very tender song that resonates a lot with wb, and also so very reminiscent of what Veth told Caleb in the finale with the line "Listen close and hear/I want you to let go of your fear/You can find love/Let go of your strife and get what you want out of your life." Like, I think there's a gifset out there somewhere where she basically just says this to Caleb.

6. I Will Follow Him, Peggy March

Okay so this one IS from the first Nott playlist, but I don't see it talked about very much and tbh if you're listening to it from the pov of having seen the end of the campaign, this one just hits different. Shoutout to the "he'll always be my true love" lyric. Like WHAT. The way that song was on an official CR playlist and no one ever talks about it, I'm--

7. Head Full Of Doubt/Road Full Of Promise, The Avett Brothers

A third Avett Brothers song, you say?? Why yes, indeed. Their songs just really hit for this ship with me. I consider this song to mostly be a Veth song, revolving a lot around Veth's self-doubt issues, but if we're following Rosie's Lyrical Thematic Universe (RLTU), this lyric, "There was a dream and one day I could see it/Like a bird in a cage I broke in and demanded that somebody free it" stands out a lot. Like the song progression of Heart in a Cage -> I And Love And You -> Head Full Of Doubt/Road Full Of Promise is what I'm getting at here. "Oh, the heart beats in its cage" to "The dream's the catch/The world's the cage" to "Like a bird in a cage I broke in a demanded that somebody free it." The caged bird thing is HUGE thematically with me and which I think is really funny because it's literally just ME out here with these hyper specific themes and motifs going on. But I love it, I think it works great for them

8. If U Stayed, ZZ Ward

You come to this song for pure angst and pure angsty only. If you want to feel angsty about the fact that they're non-canon, this is the song for you.

9. December Song, Birdtalker (of Blue Healer fame) and Joy Williams (of Trouble With Wanting fame)

"Friend your heart has been far away from mine/There's no one to blame but that wicked stalwart time/And as the year marches steady to its end/Oh, my heart is longing to be close to yours again"

I've been wanting to write a post-canon holiday themed piece based around this song for AGES. the details aren't perfectly accurate, but the vibes are very much there.

10. Lead to Light, Nico Vega

No song list/playlist of mine is ever complete without at least ONE Nico Vega song. The themes of, well, "I will drop anything for you" ring very true, but my favorite line is the bridge: "Oh my love, you know you are a teacher/But you don't know I can be a teacher, too." I appreciate it on one level as inherently suggestive, but extremely literal in the case of late widobrave with Veth opening up her camp to teach adventurers, especially since she had said she wasn't a good teacher sometime in the early campaign.

Honorable Mentions:

1: So Sorry Mama, Whitney Duncan

The details of this song do not match up with canon, HOWEVER, I am 100% certain Veth (lover of monsters and of bad boys) has had at least one, if not more, fantasies re: Caleb that sound exactly like this. So I'm including it because I am sure that she'd had this vision at least once in a dream

2. If We Were Vampires, Jason Isbell and the 400 Unit

I'll admit this one is highly specific to me, which is why it's in the honorable mentions section, because I'm pulling a lot of the themes of this song for the post-canon wb piece I'm working on right now. It's also just a very bittersweet, tender song that is so, so good about loving someone for as long as you can and making those days count

A bonus Veth-specific honorable mention:

Whiskey Fever by Dorothy. It's not all that deep of a song rec, but it's pretty accurate and it slaps. This song fucking slaps.

A bonus Caleb-specific honorable mention:

Innocent by Taylor Swift. Never thought I'd choose a T. Swift song for him, but it so eerily accurate to his story. Could double a wb song, but I largely relate it to Caleb due to its subject matter.

if anyone was actually curious, I'll just add the full playlist here for perusal sake because there's A LOT more on there, these are just my personal favorites:

[noxianwilled]

— SHIPPING INFO

answer the following for your muse so people know how shipping works on your blog.

WHAT IS YOUR OTP FOR YOUR CHARACTER?

kat/darius....... i am a kat/garen enjoyer too i'm just. kinda picky with it?

HOW LARGE DOES THE AGE GAP HAVE TO BE TO MAKE IT UNCOMFORTABLE?

i don't really have a problem with big age gaps as long as the two characters are adults and met as adults.

HOW FAR DO STEAMY MOMENTS HAVE TO GO BEFORE THEY ARE CONSIDERED NSFW?

hmmm it really depends on the content? honestly i just prefer to be on the safe side and tag things as nsfw even when it's mostly suggestive?

ARE YOU SELECTIVE WHEN SHIPPING?

more or less. i need to feel comfortable with the other writer and there's gotta be chemistry/make sense for my muse. but i'm also very open to plotting romantic relationships rather than just going with the flow, especially if we're friends, so like? not that selective? i'll be very honest i think romance is SO much fun to explore in writing, i love shipping idc i'm cringe but i'm free

WHO ARE OTHER CHARACTERS YOU SHIP YOUR CHARACTER WITH?

riven i adore the concept of kat/riven and the ensuing bitter exes potential with riven's horror at what noxus was doing/katarina's resentment about the betrayal. fiora. i could maybe see akali. samira. maybe sett? miss fortune!! hmmmm not sure. i have a soft spot for katalux tbh and i think i've grown to appreciate it more esp after the comic and how they interacted there. as always, depends on portrayals and how well my version of kat matches with anyone else's version of those other characters also getting into 'no one ever writes non-champion characters' but hear me out katarina and drann definitely kiss the gods themselves told me

DOES ONE HAVE TO ASK TO SHIP WITH YOU?

not necessarily, although openly suggesting you're interested in shipping is actually nice for me because even when i can see it i'm often like oh i don't wanna come across as pushing for that even if it makes sense for how this interaction is going (literally told rey i was trying to not be insane about kat/darius at first before they said it was fine so sknfaksjfn i just get really anxious about it) so like. asking is not necessary, it can happen naturally, but i am 100% fine with someone asking as long as they're also fine with the possibility i'll say no, and talking about it actually makes me far less anxious.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE SHIP IN YOUR CURRENT FANDOM?

ok hold on i gotta think about the ones i haven't said yet...... ahri/sett and ahri/yone could be cute. nami and her bf and gf i don't remember their names sorry nami askdfnakjsdnf ekko/jinx. ezlux can be cute. eztalon can be cute. talon/lux can be cute. but also alfio and r unexpectedly made me appreciate ez/yasuo

FINALLY, HOW DOES ONE SHIP WITH YOU?

dm me nicely to talk about the dynamics you can see. or send me memes that indicate that interest when i rb those prompts about wanted dynamics. knock on my door and yell HI MEL DO YOU SEE THIS SORT OF RELATIONSHIP BC I KINDA DO! or grab me by the throat and say you wanna ship with me, that also works.

tagged by: @seekslight here's the last one 😌

[thetruearchmagos]

WIP Questionnaire

Thank you kindly for the Tag, @theprissythumbelina !

1. What is the first part of your WIP that you created?

Well, the Setting, probably, which as an answer works for just about any of the WIPs I could name. In theory you could argue Gustav and the Magician, individually and as a 'set' of sorts, technically predate my coming up with the 12 Worlds, but the form they took then has only passing resemblance to their current incarnation.

2. If your story was a TV show, what would the theme song/intro be?

Ooo, well, I've been thinking I'd probably see about getting something original made, or making something myself as a side thing. I mean, I kinda envision a lot of my WIPs as serial animations in my head anyhow, so I've put more thought into this question than reality is ever likely to require.

3. What are your favorite characters that you made? Why?

Well... You know how big this list could be. I love all of them, and at any moment which forces / allows me to dig deeper into any single one of them makes me love them even more. Still, my final choice is an obvious one: Gustav Johann Schmidt, who's been in it since the very start, and who's voice has by now almost become my own whenever he comments on some facet of his world in the same way I would.

4. What other pieces of media do you think your fan base would share?

Hmm, well, I've always thought this would go down two tracks. First of all being the classic 'Techno Thriller' crowd, the sorts who like tanks going boom and spies under deep cover: I'd go with things like The Hunt For Red October and Red Storm Rising, both being stalwarts of the genre which have absolutely been personally inspiring. The second track goes down the wider book / writing community, or at least those looking for 'genre fiction' and all that, who might discover the 12 Worlds more on its fantastical or worldbuilding grounds than for its techno thriller nature: I don't really 'understand' what I'd mean by this cohort myself as much, but I guess it could include series like ASOIAF, possibly.

5. What has been your biggest struggle with your WIP?

Well... If we're speaking in the past tense, as far as things that have already happened go I'd put forwards "making sure the worldbuilding exists and isn't utterly contradictory", since there's too little writing down so far to count for a big struggle. Dates are hard, and measuring things on the order of decades to a century leaves me with a lot of uncomfortable dead space on one hand, and a bunch of events clustered together on the other. Untangling this has to happen before the writing does, to me, and it's gonna be hellish.

6. Are there any animals in your story? Talk about them!

Uhh... Technically, Snake In The Sandbox (Gustav's third and least brought up WIP) features two animals! One's a snake which literally scares G's shirt off when he finds it in his tent, and the other's some sort of desert lizard the 18th Corps adopts as its mascot.

7. How do your characters get around? (Ex. Trains, horses, cars, dragons, etc.)

Oh, probably their respective combat vehicles more than anything, though long distance stuff gets done by plane / aeroship, and getting between Worlds means ships for everyone. Non military types might get their own car, or plane.

8. What part of your WIP are you working on right now?

Technically brought this up already, but the answer's worldbuilding. It's always worldbuilding. Though within that category, I'm technically supposed to be writing up a piece on the UC' policy towards Goilac / Nouvoulouis pre SSAW, but... I have been having a lazy weekend.

9. What aspects (tropes, maybe) of your WIP do you think will draw people in?

Big flashy boom booms and cunning military tactics, strategy, and leadership on the one hand for sure, but I'd like to think the depth, history, and life that exists within the 12 Worlds might have some appeal to readers.

10. What are your hopes for your WIP?

Published novel, or really a few considering how many there are already for the 12 Worlds. Then... Well, I think I've got a few ideas in me for the Setting yet.

Anyone fancy a boardgame?

And that's that! Tagging @athenswrites @hessdalen-globe @caxycreations @sanguine-arena @vyuntspakhkite-l-darling @thatndginger and anyone who'd like to take part!

[mctives]

indie stu macher . scream (1996) . written by aj carrd . promo . memes . headcanons . open starters . playlist

also found at @killcdhim, @ycwza, @lessluck, @goodjobsport, @aranostra and @leadmeto

NOTE: this blog is entirely based on the original film and is anti-spyglass due to the firing of melissa barrera

IMPORTANT NOTE ABOUT MY PORTRAYAL (cw grooming, csa)

unformatted guidelines and info:

GUIDELINES

my name is aj and i'm 30+. as such, please do not interact if you are under 20 years old. if you are younger, and i accidentally follow you, please block me.

do not follow for the sole purpose of shipping. stu is a disaster person and probably should not be in a relationship anyway, so it's rare that shipping will work out. (although i do think he had feelings for both tatum and billy, i also would want to talk things out for those interactions as well.)

stu isn't a good person. even aside from, y'know, murdering people… he's also a sheltered, spoiled, privileged white boy in 1996. he'll say and do some things that aren't cool. i will use content warnings etc, but also please understand that i do not agree with him.

if you have a concern or issue about something i've posted, please contact me personally. if you have the desire to write a vague post, i would prefer that you block me. vague posts cause a great deal of anxiety for me. if you ever suspect i'm vague posting about you, also feel free to contact me, but i promise that i don't vague post; i will speak directly about any issues i have or keep my mouth shut entirely.

i use the tag negativity cw on any post i make that is negative about anything including rpc or life in general. please block the tag if negativity brings you down!

i have a full time job and a neurodivergent brain, so my activity will come and go. please be patient with me, and please do not message me unless we're mutuals.

INFO

FULL NAME. stuart macher ALSO KNOWN AS. stu, ghostface D.O.B. + AGE. 01 / 24 / 1979 | 18 ZODIAC. aquarius GENDER. cis male PRONOUNS. he/him ORIENTATION. biromantic / bisexual OCCUPATION. student

BASICS Born in Woodsboro, California, the youngest son to rich parents, Stu grew up sheltered and privileged. Although his parents were aware that Stu had some mental health concerns, they covered up anything he did wrong, thinking he'd grow out of it. He met Billy Loomis in middle school and the two of them began a close, but extremely complicated, friendship. Eventually, the two of them began a murder spree as the Ghostface Killer. Together, they killed several people, and planned to eventually frame Neil Prescott for the murders, and themselves as the only survivors. They failed.

OPEN VERSES

+SURVIVOR;

A slightly different plan; Billy stabbed Stu before they revealed their identities to Sidney. Stu thought Billy intended to let him survive, but he stabbed too many times and too deeply, because Billy himself intended to be the sole survivor. When Stu realized what was happening, he stayed still, pretending to already be dead (or at least unconscious). After Sidney killed Billy, Stu was found still alive and taken to the hospital.

+RELEASED;

Stu survived the electrocution with some scarring on his face, but was tried for his crimes and sent to prison. However, after a few years, his parents' high-priced lawyers were able to poke holes in the evidence against him and claim that Billy was the one who committed all the murders. Stu, they claimed, was also a victim, manipulated into helping Billy cover up his crimes. The ploy worked, and Stu was released with time served.

+PRISON;

Stu survived the electrocution with some scarring on his face, but was tried for his crimes and sent to prison, where he has remained.

+VICTIMS;

Billy and Stu both got away with the murders, their plan to frame Neil Prescott a total success.

+FINAL GUY;

Stu survives the murder spree at the party, and is credited with killing Billy. He goes along with it to avoid being caught as his accomplice. (The details and who else survives depends on who I'm writing with.)

+UNTIL DAWN;

After killing Maureen in the early 2010's, Stu and Billy have an intense falling out. Stu's mental health becomes so bad as a result, his parents decide to send him away to live with extended family in another part of California. Stu loses contact with his friends in Woodsboro, but eventually goes to college and finds a new group of friends with Josh Washington and co.

CLOSED VERSES

+SECOND CHANCE (innocencel0st);

Stu is released from prison after 27 years and reconnects with Tatum, much to the dismay of all her friends. Unfortunately, another cycle of Ghostface killings begins soon after... Also features Sidney, Dewey, Randy, and Stu's sister Tabby written by me (killcdhim and aranostra) and Cici written by innocencel0st.

+CHANGE OF PLANS (innocencel0st);

When Billy attacked Tatum in the garage, Tatum killed him in self-defense, leaving Stu to hide the evidence that he was involved with the murders. Also features Randy written by me (aranostra).

[postwarlevi]

Self Ship tag game!! Hope you guys wanna do this :) Also I want to do this haha

Your anime self ship person: Levi

Your ship name: Leviza (lmao just came up with that)

What do you call each other: Levi likes my name best, love if he's feeling cuddly, angel when he's reminding me how much I mean to him, brat if I'm annoying him. I use his name out in public, call him sweetheart when by ourselves, captain to mess with him, handsome if he's feeling down on himself.

Who confessed first: Levi did, totally by accident. It started with a simple "I like you" one day when we were hanging out together, and with stuttering and blushing cheeks he tried to revise it when he thought maybe I didn't feel the same. Turned into "I think you're beautiful. What I mean is...!" So I helped him out and told him his blush is the cutest thing I've ever seen, and he stood there stunned going "what's that mean?" **rolls eyes** "I like you too, Cap!" Have to spell it out for him!

Who kissed who: I did. Took a couple weeks. We were literally talking about it and he said he's never really been sure when physical affection is okay, and said I'd have to help him, when it was okay with me, of course. So I showed him that it was more than okay. He liked that.

How long you have been together: 3 years now. Friends first for a time before, got to know each other and 'dated' for a couple months before he brought up making it official. He's always nervous about doing things too early. Sometimes it drives me mad but I want him to be okay initiating things.

Are you affectionate: Hand holding in public is usually it. By ourselves this man is the biggest cuddle bug, don't let him fool you. Literally will whine if I get up to be productive, and then dare turn me down if I seek him out when he's busy. But he really likes kisses, so guess who always wins :) Lazy mornings in bed and couch cuddles are our favs.

Living together/married: Living together almost a year. Thrown out ideas of marriage, like what we would want or where we'd honeymoon. It's fun to talk about. Sometimes if I stay up late with him he'll actually sneak in a random question like "what kind of flowers would you like?" He might be saving my answers. Starting to wonder if he should plan a proposal or just up and ask :)

Kids: Right now we are cat parents. Aren't opposed to kids. Adoption is something we both think about, but can't figure out how to bring up to each other yet. But it's close to both of our hearts considering how Levi grew up.

What your friend group looks like: Levi introduced me to Miche, Hange and Erwin. Jean, Connie and Sasha are my main crew, even if they knew Levi first.

How you each get along with your friends: I get along with his friends great, and they are now my friends. We all have game nights together and Levi rolls his eyes when we come up with stupid answers and laugh sometimes, but we catch him smiling too. I call Hange just to talk sometimes. Levi...tolerates my friends. He doesn't mind Jean by himself since he can act mature, but add Connie and Sasha to the mix and he's out. At least, tries to be! But if one of us is feeling down we're usually at our house for late night snacks and movies. Levi can't avoid it.

Night in or night out: We like staying in way more. Either ordering takeout or helping each other in the kitchen. A quiet evening in, in comfy clothes please.

Your favorite date day/night: My cheesy answer is anytime we're together is my favorite, even just grocery shopping :D Though once in a while we dress up fancy and take in a theater show. Turns out we really like musicals! Who knew?? Also, mystery dinners! You know, where you have to find out who killed who while you eat and the actors put on a show around you. There's not much interaction involved on our part, so Levi doesn't mind, and he's really good at solving the clues and guessing correctly!

--------------

You all probably already know my answers lmao

Friendship questions inspired by this haha

Here's a Jean version too!

Here's a copy and paste version

Your anime self ship person:

Your ship name:

What do you call each other:

Who confessed first:

Who kissed who:

How long you have been together:

Are you affectionate:

Living together/married:

Kids:

What your friend group looks like:

How you each get along with your friends:

Night in or night out:

Your favorite date day/night:

There's so many questions to ask! We can do another round if you want another time :) 10 to 12 questions good? Weekly maybe?

Tagging: @jayteacups @hauntedhousecat @ack3rlady @nelapanela94 @levisbrat25 @holy-guacamoly @levi-supreme @little-spoiled-brat @sckerman @hashaneeee @starryenigma @charlotteplsdosth @levis-hazelnut @lucysarah-c @local-ackerman-whore @wetforlevi

You are under no obligation to participate. But if you do I'm tagging you in the next one haha Even if I didn't tag you, go for it! Just picking ones I thought might want to do it :)

[ry0chann]

ty @ry0m3n for tagging me!! was definitely surprised to see your ship with Geto but omg you guys are so cute!

(all my answers are under the cut just so the post isn't long on the tl haha)

your anime selfship person

❥ Ryomen Sukuna (but in a modern au where he's a businessman😌)

your ship name

❥ Madikuna

what do you call each other?

❥ Sukuna calls me literally any name that isn't my own. but it's mostly (my) love, darling, baby, and princess. the only time he'll use my full name is if he's being serious, something similar to a parent LMAO

❥ i'm not too fond of pet names, so i usually just call him by his name, or variations of it; Ryo, Suku, and Kuna. occasionally i'll call him baby, but it's prefaced with one of his other nicknames

who confessed first?

❥ i did, of course. i tend to get super anxious about my feelings, and when they get really strong i sorta just tell the person bc i can't keep it to myself any longer. he was really sweet about it, and nonchalantly implied that he felt the same. though that was really obvious with the way his face got red

how long have you been together?

❥ about a two years. we might've rushed into things, in regards to our relationship, bc we had only know each other for roughly a year before getting together. but we surprisingly clicked almost immediately so it all felt right

are you affectionate?

❥ shockingly he's more (physically) affectionate than i am. that's only bc i still get really flustered around him sometimes, so it's really common for him to initiate hugs or kisses. especially in public omg— he's always holding my hand or kissing my cheek. i'm more affectionate in private. mostly in bed when we're cuddling, but i tend to cling to him regardless when we're home

living together/married?

❥ we live together! we've only been living together for a couple months, but it's been lovely. maybe it's a little soon, but i used to live far from him, so it was hard to make time for each other, bc of his job and everything. therefore moving in together was a nice compromise

❥ we aren't married but it has been something we've talked about. i've told him that i want to eventually get married, and he's told me that marriage was never anything he wanted. however, he also told me that if he were to ever get married, he'd want to marry me. he thinks he's slick— acting like he doesn't care— but he's not

kids?

❥ no children atm and probably not for a very long time. personally, i want at least one, while he wants none. but we also tend to uh, "not be very careful" so ig we'll cross that bridge when we get there

what your friend group looks like?

❥ very very small. we don't really have much of a shared friend group. Sukuna doesn't like anybody, he merely tolerates people, so he doesn't have many friends. it's like one or two people from work, but they're on thin ice haha. i have a couple close ones that i've known for a while, but that's it

how you get along w your friends?

❥ i'm a pretty friendly person so i get along with his "friends" well. the only reason he gets along with mine is bc i tell him he has to. in all honesty, he doesn't have a problem with them, he just doesn't care for them ig. it's all cordial though, on both ends, which is good

night in or night out?

❥ i prefer nights in, he prefers whatever i prefer. more often than not though, we're going out bc he has the money to spend and likes to spoil me 😇

your favorite date?

❥ he took me on a dinner cruise once bc of some event for his job and omg it was gorgeous. we got to get all dressed up and got to eat under the stars, like something out of a movie. that same night he told me he loved me (for the first time) when we were in bed, so it's definitely my favorite date we've had

~tags (no pressure, do it if you'd like to!) @suguruwrx @stupidlittleangel + anybody else that wants to

[kachulein]

11 questions: tbz ver!!💞

thank you so much for tagging me @seraphimguks this was so fun to do!!🥺💖 I'm also super sorry for being insanely late with this tag, I've had it in my drafts and completely forgot about it </333

name/nickname:  Laura Jane / Kachu/Lala

country/state: Switzerland

which tbz boy is closest in age to you?  Haknyeon, he's 5 weeks younger than me^^ babie :P

who did you first notice in tbz and why? Hmm, this is hard to say. Before I was a deobi, I saw moots talking about Sunwoo and Changmin because they biased them, and I also heard of Eric (and his friendship with Felix) from said friends, and also learned that there's two more English speakers called Jacob and Kevin. I then got shipped with Younghoon once so I looked up their profile to look at him (and the others). Then I decided that Chanhee is the one who catches my eye most and called him /a bias/. After that, I noticed Hyunjun because of his airport fashion that I adored. And eventually it was Kevin and his cute self as Simply Kpop MC who caught my eye so much that I decided to stan (he's still my bias while Chanhee is my most dangerous bias wrecker haha). But honestly, I'm not sure which member I noticed first as I heard of some members through friends and not because I noticed them on my own - soooooo, you guys decide, idk.😂👉🏻👈🏻

favourite laugh in tbz?  This was so hard to decide... tbh, I really like Moonbae's laugh because - and I might be biased here - my own laugh is a mixture of Jacob's giggles and Kevin's mute suffering/dying 🤚🏻😭 But I also really like Chanhee's and Sunwoo's laugh, they're just so straightforward and loud, it's endearing :'))

if you can only meet 3 tbz members, who would it be? either Kevin, Jacob and Eric (no language barrier haha) or Kevin, Chanhee, and Changmin. I'm 100% sure about Kevin though, I need to see my ult <3 😭

first tbz song you ever heard?  uhmmmm, I think that was actually Boy because I watched their music video when they debuted (I thought a group called "The Boyz" that debuts with a song called "Boy" was super hilarious, so I wanted to check it out ajxjjsks) but I didn't start stanning them back then :( As you can see, sometimes I make bad decisions haha

1 unpopular tbz opinion? hmm, I don't think this is an unpopular opinion?? But idk what would be one since I don't really keep up with fandoms' opinions as I focus more on the artists (fandoms - in general - can be toxic, so I prefer not to engage too much and keep fangirling among my friends/mutuals - in a space where I feel comfortable and safe to express myself), so I'll just talk about /an opinion/ - not knowing whether it's unpopular or not akdkskd. So, tbz are still a bit of an "underrated" group, they've gained a lot of new fans through RTK (edit: I wrote this - all questions - before kingdom) but still, I feel like they deserve more recognition, especially for their performances. I feel like they're one of the best 4th gen performers (I will never forget RTK Reveal stage and Reveal/Checkmate MAMA stage - Hyunjae and Sunwoo going up on that thing - that I don't know what it's called in English - is SO AMAZING, LIKE WHUAT??? Honestly, these will always belong to my favourite performances because it was seriously mind-blowing.

I MEAN LOOK AT IT;;;;;;;

WOW-

So yes, I just feel like they'd deserve a lot more appreciation and recognition for these amazing stages that they deliver!! They must be working SO hard and they're so in sync and just aaaah, it's so satisfying to watch them dance and perform, you know. The world is missing out,,,,🤧🤧

another edit: add their kingdom performances to the list too, because wow, I loved them all so much, they're SO talented!!!😭😭😭

which tbz member is most similar to you? I actually rewrote this answer because I always thought it was Kevin... I still believe we have lots in common but I recently found out that - astrology wise (according to the pattern app) - I'm /very similar/ to Jacob!! The pattern app tells you how similar you are to other people based on your birth charts and there's similarity levels from: very different < somewhat similar, but mostly different < similar < very similar and I kid you not, I've probably looked at my similarity level with at least 100 people (idols, family members, friends) and while I've gotten "similar" with lots of people - Kevin for example - I've only gotten "very similar" with 3 people so far. And one of those 3 people just so happens to be Jacob, so wow! I had no idea that we're that similar based on our charts - but I guess our air sun and shared Leo rising and also shared Virgo & Pisces placements make it make sense ෆ╹ᴗ╹ෆ sorry for the ramble, I'm still so overjoyed with being so similar to him🤚🏻😭

most underrated tbz song? In my not so humble opinion, I'd like to name two of my faves - Shake You Down and Summer Time <3333

give us a good pic of your bias.  

excuse me but how am I supposed to choose JUST ONE when Kevin looks like a full course meal in every pic???✊🏻😔 Just look at him-

also, please don't hate me but I really miss his longer hair, I'm currently in mourning😭😭😭

tagging: @interstellix @http-peachie @jellihye @oddlittlefandomist @key201303 @stealerz and any other deobi - Idk who else of my moots stans them, so pls feel free to do this and tag me so I can see your answers!!^-^💞💞💞

[theangryjikooker]

If we aren’t admitting that jikook as a couple than we can think that taekook has also the same possibility to turn to be a couple. The same case. Look this year they even have more interactions than jikook, Jk initiated more with Tae on concerts and during ITS m, vcrs, bitter promotion etc in its2 they were really into each other whole day and then cooking together several times, more selcas that are not obligatory like for b-days. And to be honest doesn’t JK look more happy with Tae even on that recent photo than ever. What moments of Taekook you think look couple-like and suspicious? We can talk hypothetically of them being a thing like you did with jikook. I mean they had million followers not believe our of air bit but because of taekook actions.

Clearly, you must have found me by the tags and didn't really do any research into my content before submitting your ask.

First of all, I am not a Taekook blog.

Second of all, I'm not anti-Taekook. I've even said in previous asks that Tkkrs are well within their rights to think Taekook is valid because we all view attraction differently. There's a reason why some people gravitate more to Jikook than Taekook and vice versa.

I'm not going to stroke your ego by listing all the ways Taekook are close because 1) they ARE close as they should be, and 2) that's up to you and your fellow Tkkrs to analyze the shit out of your ship. As far as I'm concerned, I don't talk shit about Taekook (because I love those two because yay OT7) or Tkkrs unless they're being toxic and being where they shouldn't be (getting all up in my grill, for one), just like I give Jkkrs shit for being toxic as well. I even have an intro post that's linked to my profile--y'know, the thing you should've probably read before you started flapping your gums at me.

And if you really want to come up in my space and split hairs, we're not talking a year full of moments here. We're seeing snippets that are collectively +/- 20 minutes long. And I guess we're just going to ignore the fact that Jungkook spends time with Jimin off-camera and visits him at all hours of the day where even Taehyung thought Jimin's room was Jungkook's, but who cares about that right? (By the way, if it wasn't already obvious, I'm being EXTREMELY sarcastic.) But it is INSANE to me that you're trying to compare and contrast how close Taekook is vs. Jikook WHEN YOU DO NOT KNOW THEM. They have a whole life off-camera. For all we know, Taekook spends more time together than what we've been seeing in the same way that Jikook are. They should be able to hang out whenever they want to, however much they want to, without turning it into a ship-dick measuring contest.

Let me break down what this blog is for you: I talk about all the ways I think Jikook could be valid and critique rationalizations I disagree with that allegedly supports Jikook being Real. And while I don't think other ships in BTS have the same chemistry as Jikook, that's MY perspective, but in no way am I invalidating Tkkrs and Taekook. You guys view things from a different lens than I do, and you'd have more success rubbing elbows with your people who know more about Taekook than I could ever know because SURPRISE, I'm a Jkkr. It's literally in my name.

For god's sake:

STAY. IN. YOUR. LANE.

I swear, this has to be a result of the IG post we got recently. Every time Jkkrs and Tkkrs get some selca or post that feature their ships, both sides get so bloody arrogant for no reason. I didn't realize y'all had a stake in their relationships, my god. 🙄

FYI: I'd have been really nice to this anon, but for as hypothetical as they wanted to be, they sure had some bold ass statements to make, like Jungkook is happier with Tae? Like he can't be happy because he's happy? Why does his happiness hinge on his relationships with the other guys? Is happiness from within not a thing anymore, is that where we're at right now? For all we know, a GIRL made him happy because we don't know anything! Ugh. I don't mind if Tkkrs come in and ask me questions (although I don't really know why you'd want to), but if you're in here already trying to compare ships as your first impression, then you were never here for a rational adult discussion.