#like whatever they got going on in the supernatural fandom...they had teen me thinking those bitches were gay married for years

[six-of-cringe]

Because it's happened to me a billion times with other fandoms containing queer ships - if I were an outsider to the SoC fandom and just caught glimpses of fan works/posts, I'd have to wonder if Jesper and Wylan were actually canonically together or if fans just made it up so hard they tricked me into thinking it's real. like ok are these little crime guys actually in love this time or are we feeling left out again.

[midnightfox450]

It's WTNV's 10th birthday you KNOW I am going to write something sappy. Strap in, this is going to be long.

Welcome to Night Vale being a full decade old feels kind of unreal to me, as I've only been listening for three or four of those years. I was very young in 2012, so I can't accurately gauge the mainstream perception of queerness at the time, but I can't imagine it was very good. So when I first heard Cecil matter-of-factly state his love for a man he had just met in the PILOT, I was surprised and intrigued. I honestly remember the moment quite clearly, that's how impactful "I fell in love instantly" was.

And WTNV is not a teen, coming-of-age, "falling in love with your best friend and having to come out to your parents" type of queer story. The main leads were already grown adults. It was love at first sight. They never had to ask each other if they liked men, and it was never an issue. Just unadulterated (albeit often interrupted by supernatural goings on) will-they-wont-they fluff.

Cecilos has gone through some ups and downs. Both of their lives have been threatened too many times to count, they got an apartment (not a condo) together, they were separated for a year, they got married, they had a kid, they killed a giant worm god, they were briefly in a 50 First Dates situation, etc etc. But throughout the entirety of the podcast, from the very first episode down to the most recent, the theme always comes back to their love for one another. It has been frequently shown that the last thing Cecil thinks about, when nearing death or a similarly distressing plight, is Carlos. And when Carlos continuously saves the town from impending disaster, he does it so he can continue coming home to Cecil.

They are the anchor that defines the rest of the town. Night Vale is their home, because they are the embodiments of Night Vale, and they are each other's homes. And the rest of Night Vale accepts this. They tune in every night with at least partial hope to hear more about their lives. They all attended their wedding. Carlos was once considered, by both the citizens and whatever powers that may be, to be an outsider. But his love and loyalty to Cecil granted him acceptance. Queer love is shown to be powerful enough to keep an entire town afloat. Queerness is what gets you accepted into, dare I say Welcomed, to Night Vale.

Fink and Cranor have said they didn't originally intend for Carlos and Cecil to have a serious love story. But even so, Cecil was still a gay main character voiced by a gay man - narrating gay attraction from his own perspective - three years before gay marriage was legalized. It was a pretty huge step for indie queer representation, and I don't think its unfair to say it has fundamentally shaped fictional podcasting as a medium. A lot of your faves wouldn't be half the show they are without it.

When I went to the Haunting of Night Vale liveshow a while ago, the opener by Kate Jones and the weathers by Mal Blum both felt like they expected queerness from the audience. Like it was this unspoken theme throughout the entirety of the night. It felt strange and comforting, to be enjoying something where queerness was implicit but inherent. And isn't that what Night Vale is: strange and comforting? Isn't that what queerness should be?

Now, WTNV, especially early WTNV, is far from perfect. I have a lot of criticisms about the show and its fandom I'll save for another time. But at the end of the day, Welcome to Night Vale is a show about a small, culturally-isolated southern american desert town, where the strange is normal and the normal is strange. I don't think it could be lost on anyone how the supernatural is a metaphor for queerness, in both the archaic and modern definition of the word. WTNV is an inherently queer show. And the idea that queerness can thrive in what would otherwise be thought of as a typically conservative town, not in spite of its setting, but BECAUSE of it? That is an incredibly hopeful and much needed perspective. It was needed in 2012, and it is still just as relevant in 2022.

Godspeed, Night Vale. May the sun continue to be hot, may the moon continue to be beautiful, and may the mysterious lights continue to pass overhead as we all pretend to sleep.

[tricitymonsters]

hihihihi! please more info about the side characters babies?

CERTAINLY

Basically the side characters are each products of the main three's routes in some way and I'm hoping to include them as part of those stories as more detailed elements of their overarching arcs.

readmore cause i'm long winded oops

Kazu first showed up in canon in a Yakuza themed AU short story I wrote for Patreon to be Mori's right hand man and bodyguard. He's 6'5" and built like a brick shithouse (charm point: huge tiddies and a tiny waist, very Dorito coded). Kazu's a fun combination of Stoic and Confident- he's an expert martial artist so he's kinda got that meathead/jock swagger- but also a delightful degree of socially inept and has a constant intense resting bitchface. He would beat someone into a paste for threatening you without blinking but if you cried in front of him he would have zero idea what to do. His personality is very Guard Dog? He always reminds me of a very mean doberman, alert and ready to react Severely and also absoLUTELY unswervingly loyal to people he's decided to trust. With Mori, the dynamic is especially funny as it took Kazu a while to respect him enough to take orders from but now that Mori's proven himself, Kazu would do basically anything he said, though they do share the Warrior's Bond and have to brawl a lot to work out the tension or solve disagreements.

Kazu used to be in a biker gang and spent time in prison (he also used to be super skinny and didn't bulk up until his mid twenties). He runs a mechanic shop during the day where he customizes cars and bikes and also built his custom bike, Kanōbo, from the ground up. He also loves J-Idols + has an anime figure cabinet and worked in an izakaya/pub for a number of years so he can actually cook. Vital funfacts: He enjoys beating people up, loves steak, is a junior high dropout, and nearly qualified for olympic level judo.

As of now Kazu doesn't have a demon deal but no promises for the future :)

Selection of Various Kazu Arts care of @epoch-smog @coyoxxtl and @booket-png (thank yall so much for drawing my idiot meat man)

Raath is almost comically complex for his role as a side character and is actually a redux of an OC I had in another fandom many years ago. Canon took a direction i didn't like and for a long time Raath sort of simmered but I love his Assholish Behavior and found a great role for him in TCM as Amir's parent's go-to hitman.

Raath is, above all else, brutal and carnal to the core. He was raised in a really fucked up way that cut him off from any semblance of a normal human childhood as part of an dark-entity-worshipping, off the grid assassin cabal. He was raised essentially as a child soldier and pushed because of his prodigy and proclivity towards assassin skills. He's socially inept but in a weaponized way, unafraid to flagrantly disregard social norms to say or do whatever he wants.

Raath is about 6'3"ish and lean/lithe. He's muscular but built for dexterity over strength- though don't let that fool you, he's immensely strong. While he doesn't know his origins, he was born in Greece to Cypriot parents. When he was a young teen, his cabal master had the revelation that Raath was the link back to their supernatural patron and decided to ritually mutilate him (in accordance to the old ways) as a sacrifice. The ordeal was utterly brutal (think legends of the old norse Blood Eagle) and by all accounts, there's no way he should have been able to survive. But miraculously, somehow, he did and the cabal considered that a sign to continue his training.

Raath doesn't have a demon deal. However, in the world of TCM, there are different orders of "demons" (not all supernatural entities use that word to describe themselves, its more of a human POV type label). Mori, Amir, and Akello are all humans-turned-demons via contracts made with other demons. Tor, from Akello's chapter, is a full demon and had never been anything else. Raath is something different altogether. Essentially, Raath is a human vessel for the phonos of bloodlust, Aimvoros. In Greek mythology, phonoi are deities that are the literal personification of a human emotion/experience and they're the children of Eris, the goddess of discord. Aimvoros is a play on the Greek words for Blood Hunger. So ESSENTIALLY, Raath has a demon of a Particularly potent caliber in his head somewhere, who's slowly and quietly trying to take him over and regain a physical form. Raath, however, is wild and unpredictable AND a lot more cunning than he seems. So the baseline for Raath is that he's playing a mental game of cat and mouse with a minor god inside his own head and winning. Its a long and arduous process but it sets the stage for Raath becoming the new blood god while retaining his human consciousness.

For his day job, Raath is an assassin/hitman who specializes in out of range sniping and making a huge mess of his targets. He's the guy you send in when you want to send a message, not have a kill go under the radar. As such, he's been very useful to Amir's parents for their dirty business and political maneuvering, though he's only as loyal as the assignments are engaging. Amir and Raath dislike each other a lot but they both acknowledge that the other is Useful in their own right.

Some lesser-seen Raath arts (thank you @mineshaft-birdie you have such a way with this bastard)

Marcel is, by comparison, the freshest TCM character on the roster and so I'm still kind of feeling him out a little bit. He's gregarious and loud, generally friendly and well liked by classmates, coworkers, and teachers. He's very much that Star Football Player Who's Best Friend is in Band- he could absolutely be an asshole with the social position he's had as a high performing athlete going into college on a sports scholarship but his swagger and cockiness is more charming than offensive and he doesn't let the college sports environment get TOO much into his head.

He is, however, very confident and sure of himself. Growing up he got in trouble for backtalking to teachers almost constantly, and always had a comment for any given situation. He has an incredibly loud, unique laugh that you could pick out in a crowd and even now on the college campus him and his friends are usually the most animated group in the quad at any given time.

Marcel works hard and takes his studies pretty seriously or rather.... as seriously as he has to. He keeps his grades up to maintain financial aid but is always ready to party and now that he's on his own and establishing his adult life, he's ready to experiment and try new things.

Marcel found out about the demon infestation in the city on his own and was willing to make a deal with one for information on the accident that "killed" Akello but has so far managed to avoid actually taking out a contract. Akello and Marcel were very VERY close before the accident, however, and now they're sort of trying to figure out how to go back to that. Akello's big Parental Fear is that Marcel will have a Party Whore College Boy (like HE DID) phase and lose track of his academic pursuits.

For now, I'm lacking in Marcel concept art but Atlas' headshot is fucking dreamy so here it is again.

I THINK?? THATS EVERYTHING??? ALL THE BASIC DETAILS? I love my side characters very very much and I'm hoping the KS unlocks that sprite package so I can get them some official tcm sprites! (I blatantly made it the first stretch goal cause i want it SO BAD).

[dracothedeatheatingcupcake-ao3]

Hi there! First off, wanted to say thanks for sharing your stories with us - Mondo and Taka are…intensely relatable characters for me in general, and the way you write them only makes it more so. I love them dearly, and your characterization of them is beautifully realistic in a way anime-boys-in-a-murder-school have no right to be, haha. But my question is actually about your other interests (forgive me, but I love hearing other people pontificate about their interests/passions/etc. so…) — if you don’t mind sharing, what other fandoms do you have a particular attachment to, whether you’ve created anything relating to them or not? Your work is wonderful and I’d love to explore more of it! Keep doing what you do, at whatever pace you are capable and comfortable with! 🧡

Aw this is so sweet!! Thank you so much!! :-D

I'm going to put a read more on this, just to help with dashboard clogging, as this got super long. As usual 😂😂 Though Tumblr's new long post thing might help with that, so who knows. But I'm used to using read mores, so... meh.

Ohhh boy, do I have a ton of other interests. 😂😂 My most recent fandoms that I've gotten into are Our Flag Means Death (which I'm so happy got renewed for a second season!! I loved the first one, so much. I hope it doesn't kill me with feels though!!!!), Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney (And Apollo Justice, which I just finished), and Banana Fish (which is actually the only anime show I've seen, and while I highly recommend it if you've not seen it, you have to be careful since it's SUPER dark. Like... it's about a literal gang from New York and child trafficking. The main characters remind me a lot of Taka and Mondo, but even more depressing. Very good, but very dark.)

Then, of course, you've got my all time favorites, which include Harry Potter (though I've lost a lot of love for the series thanks to J.K. I can't ignore it, though, since it straight up shaped my teenage years and I STILL go by the name I made for my HP themed FB page when I was 13, DracotheDeathEatingCupcake. And I still love the characters, even now, so... yeah. But I fully support trans people and J.K. makes me sick), Supernatural (Destiel all the way, ha), Gravity Falls (and, for the record, I DO NOT like BillDip in canon! I liked it in fanon, which is why my most popular fic is BillDip, okay?? Oof), Buffy the Vampire Slayer (this one shaped my teenage years almost as much as Harry Potter, honestly. Spuffy is my fav of all time, even now. It sucks that Joss Whedon was such a creep. Why are all the things I liked as a kid made by terrible people??), and, surprisingly... Batman. That's a surprise since I don't like the majority of Batman things, and I more like the image of him I have in my mind, ha.

In addition to those, I've also had some big obsessions with the following: Rise of the Guardians, Danny Phantom, Legend of Zelda, The Hobbit/Lord of the Rings (the former more than the latter, actually. Also!!! I've been to the actual Hobbiton!!! I'll show pictures later, ha), Avatar the Last Airbender, She-Ra (the new Netflix one), Voltron (also the Netflix one), The MCU, Merlin BBC, Detroit: Become Human, Good Omens, The Witcher, Hunger Games (😉), Percy Jackson and.... god, a lot more prolly, but this is already a pretty extensive list, ha.

However, if you want the ones I've created and published fics for, I will list them in order from most recent to oldest here. Warning, it's a lot, ha. I've been writing since I was 13 (11 years, FYI), and I don't think a year has gone by where I've not written and published at least one fic.

Ishimondo from Danganronpa (duh, ha. I think I've written more Ishimondo than any other fandom other than HP, but most of my HP stuff was back when I was a young teen and was max 3k words each, so Ishimondo beats it word count wise by a long shot, ha.)

Merthur (Merlin/Arthur) from BBC's Merlin (which is actually the other 375k fic I wrote in a month and a half that I've mentioned before. This one got a little messy towards the end, since I tried my hand with a plot for the first time, and it was.... eh. People seemed to like it at least, so that's something, ha. But it was unique in that I started writing it when I was, like... 16/17, lost inspiration, and only continued writing when I found it again on my ancient iPod touch's note app several years later.)

Destiel (Dean/Castiel) from Supernatural (I actually have another fic for Destiel that is completely finished and I actually really like, but I just... have not posted???? For some reason?????? I keep meaning to but don't have time 😩 Maybe one day. Like maybe around the two year anniversary of Destiel becoming canon, and the two year anniversary of me finishing the fic 😂 Also, fun fact, but my first fic on AO3 was a Destiel fic. It wasn't my first fic ever, but my first fics will live on in infamy on fanfiction . net and will die a cold, cold death when that website finally goes belly up.)

An Avatar the Last Airbender fic that focuses on Lu Ten, Iroh's son (I love Zukka, but could never think of an idea for them, so I never wrote one for them. I had the idea for the Lu Ten fic after seeing a Tumblr post wondering about an AU where Lu Ten was secretly an earth bender, and HAD to write it. The first two chapters are pretty solid, but the last four... eh. Could do with some work.)

Hank/Connor, from Detroit: Become Human (I was weirdly obsessed with this game for a hot minute in 2019?? I still like it, but it was a pretty big thing for me then, ha. This fic of mine is another where I tried to have a plot, but it turned out meh. That's why my most recent fics have no real plot, and is mostly driven by emotion and details, ha. I'm much better at that than real plots.)

A Tony and Steve (from the MCU, ha) family fic (NOT ROMANTIC) where Steve is kid Tony's distant but loving uncle after Steve (spoilers for end game????? Ha) goes into the past to be with Peggy. It was a fix it fic of sorts.

BatJokes (Batman/Joker) from Batman, but more specifically, Bruce Wayne/John Doe from TellTale's Batman series (I had the idea for this fic when I was in a Target after having finished the second game and wrote it for like... 10 hours straight, ha. Fun fact, but this fic is actually the best fic I have in terms of kudos to hit ratio, with a ratio of over 1:1, if that means anything to anyone, ha.)

BillDip (Bill Cipher/Dipper Pines) from Gravity Falls (but like I said, I liked the fanon interpretation of BillDip!!! Not canon, since in canon, Dipper Pines is 12 and Bill Cipher is a homicidal ageless demon who is The Worst, but in a funny way. The fanon interpretation still wasn't great, but it was less bad to me when I was, like... 16.)

Stanley Pines and Stanford Pines from Gravity Falls family fics (I separated this from the last since it was its own thing, ha. Not much to say about these other than it was my first series and kind of started my whole "write from the other perspective" thing, since I first wrote a fic from Stan's perspective, then wrote one from Ford's.)

BagginShield (Bilbo Baggins/Thorin Oakenshield) from The Hobbit (I am gonna be honest. I really disliked the Hobbit when I had to read it for a book report in, like... 10th grade I think?? But I LOVED the movies, even if the third movie was kind of pointless. I liked how Richard Armitage played Thorin, and how the movie gave the dwarves a much better a reason for wanting to go back to the Lonely Mountain than, uh.... I want gold. -.-)

And now I will put the fandoms/ships for fics that are either on FF . net and are not seeing the light of day (unless someone really is curious, but, uh... they're not very good and it's obvious a 13-14 year old wrote them, ha) or are in WIP Hell and will likely never get out. Also from most recent to oldest.

BlackBonnet (Edward Teach/Stede Bonnet) from Our Flag Means Death (this fic sadly landed in WIP hell despite me writing it for a week and a half straight and ending up with almost 100k words. But I realized I didn't like the way I wrote it, and I didn't know how to end it, which is just... yeah, disheartening, but I had fun writing it at least.)

WrightWorth (Miles Edgeworth/Phoenix Wright) from Ace Attorney (I actually have a completely finished one shot that was originally gonna be a longer fic, but works as a one shot, but again, I just keep not having the time/inspiration to post, oof. I also had started a longer fic with an OC young girl that Edgeworth fosters after her father gets murdered, and Phoenix helps him with her despite (spoilers for Apollo Justice) being all jaded after being disbarred, but I got a bit stuck with it and realized it was a meh plot, so... it's also now in WIP hell forever, RIP.)

Drarry (Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter) from Harry Potter (this ship is both one that is in WIP hell and is on ff . net, ha. The one in WIP hell is actually pretty good, but I just ran out of drive to finish writing. It's funny since I knew exactly where it was gonna go, but, uh... yeah, just ran out of drive. The one on ff . net is slightly better than my other older stuff on ff . net, but that's only because I was slightly older when I wrote it, ha. It's still Not Good.)

Dramione (Draco Malfoy/Hermione Granger) from Harry Potter (This is entirely from ff . net, and it was actually my first real OTP. I don't ship them anymore, like... at all, since I'm more a Drarry girl, but it still holds a special place in my heart, ha. It also contains one of my better named fics, which I'm sure is the only reason it still gets views on ff . net even 11 years later, oof. All of my Dramione stuff is trash, though. Also, fun fact, but I only started liking Dramione because of A Very Potter Musical/Sequel. Ha.)

Spuffy (Spike/Buffy) from Buffy the Vampire Slayer (I think this was all one shots, nothing too substantial. None good either, ha. I do adore Spuffy though.)

And now, finally, I have a small list of fics I wrote on FF . net that were either for a friend, or were fun things I wrote but didn't really like the ship much for, ha. All are from Harry Potter, FYI.

Scorpius Malfoy/Lily Potter, which was actually the first fic I ever wrote, which I handwrote on paper during lunch time when I was in 7th grade, ha. I eventually transcribed it to my computer a year later, but it was the first fic I wrote and I didn't even like the ship that much, ha.

Draco Malfoy/Astoria Greengrass, which I only wrote for an online 'friend' who said it was derivative and had been done before. This was also a 'friend' who hated when I would call myself awesome (ironically, since I didn't like myself that much when I was a teen) because I was, and I quote, 'not awesome, so stop calling yourself that.' Yeah. She, uh... was not a great friend.

Lucius Malfoy/Professor Flitwick. Don't... don't even ask. I used to do HP roleplay, and I did an RP as the parents of the main characters, and I was Lucius and my friend was Flitwick, and I wrote this for him. It was my first (and, for the longest time, only) smut fic, and it's, uh....... yeah. Also! I just realized that those RP things showed a lot of indication that I was ace even before I knew what asexuality was, ha. I just remembered this, but I realize now that I never liked RPing smut, even when my friends were all "aw come on, it's not that bad!!!" But it always embarrassed me, so I only would do it with the people I trusted, and even then it felt weird to me (which was also in part because I was, like... 13-15. So were my friends, though, so don't get worried, ha). And my previously mentioned 'friend' (but different to the friend I did the weird smut fic for) got offended that I would write it with someone else but not her. Now that I think of it, my RP years were, uh... not great ones, wow. No wonder I've mostly blocked them out, ha.

Anyway!!! Wow did that end up long, oof. I hope this answered your question, because by this point I don't think I can even parse this response anymore, ha. I've also done art work for other fandoms, both digital and hand drawn, but if I add that this response will be never ending, oof. Maybe I'll see if I can link to my previously mentioned FB page (that I'm still active on, actually), where I have almost all of my old artwork posted, if anyone is still reading this and is curious. Is anyone still reading this??? If you are, reply with a smiley face and I'll give you a virtual gold star. I'd give more, but I'm always tired and can't make promises anymore :-(

Also, I think I promised Hobbiton fics, so, as promised:

These were all taken by my friend who lives in New Zealand, who went with me to Hobbiton, ha. I went in 2018 and it was soooo nice. I love NZ. I want to go back one day, but I'd rather go to new places before revisiting old places, so... maybe one day.

Also, a closer look of my elf ears my dad got me for Chanukah/Christmas one year, ha.

[where-theres-smoak-2]

If Aleks was supposed to be this super evil big bad why didn’t he make Alina pretty much his prisoner from the get go? He could have readily lied and isolated her until finding the stag without attempting to seduce her or whatever and once the stag was in his hands he could have just forced her to wear it or better yet find a way to transfer all her power to him leaving her to die without her powers to keep her healthy. That’s what a true villain would have done instead of the parody of one we got,IMO.

(Trigger warning: mentions of abuse)

You're right that would make him more of a villain. But LB had that whole cautionary tale she was trying to tell of beware the hot charismatic men they be evil. Don't fall for the hot older guy they be evil. I also think she wanted that whole plot twist of the darkling actually being the bad guy so needed him to be a decent guy in the first half of the book so that it would be oh so shocking when it reveals that Alina was manipulated by him. There are couple of problems with this though. The first is that it is poorly written I mean I wouldn't call a couple of conversations and two kisses a master manipulation personally but hey that's just me. The second is that the cautionary tale very much like the secondary 'power corrupts' one that exists in the trilogy is outdated and overdone. Everyone knows that sometimes older powerful men manipulate women, particularly younger women, for their own ends. Like I don't feel like anyone needs to be told that manipulators are charismatic and charming, obviously they are, if they were antisocial and mean they would have a real hard time manipulating anyone. Also like how power doesn't always corrupt not every good looking powerful man is going to abuse and manipulate you. Then there is also the fact that if she really wanted to stick with the 'powerful men' cautionary tale then there were other characters in the book that were actually better suited to it then the darkling, like the king or prince vasily. This is just my opinion and I am sure there will be those who disagree with me but I think the problem with using the darkling as this character is that he is very much a fantasy character and the abuse he inflicts on Alina is often fantasy in nature such as a magic collar, or using shadow monsters and a magic shadow fold to threaten the ones she loves. The problem with that is when I think fantasy it takes me further from reality then say a character who is human and inflicts abuse that can and often does happen in reality. Not sure if I am explaining myself properly here but I guess what I mean is that a man is never going to force a magical collar around a woman's neck in real life but a man could beat or force himself on a woman in real life which is why I think the very human non-fantasy/supernatural character of the king or prince would have served better as the villain of that cautionary tale.

I also find it kind of funny when you have antis who in some kind of faux concern for the young readers talk about what if these young girls think this kind of relationship is ok and how they used to find so and so villain hot and sexy when they were a teenager and wish they could meet a guy like that but then they grew out of it and realised that a relationship like that is wrong. Which, exactly, you grew out of it. What on earth makes them think these other young girls won't grow out of it? As a teen we often are drawn to things that as an adult we no longer find attractive, its part of growing up. Also I feel like by the time you are at an age where you are seeking those kinds of relationships you are also at an age where you understand the difference between reality and fiction. Fiction is a way to safely explore forbidden desires or explore darker parts of human nature. Just because someone finds the darkling interesting or attractive does not mean that is something they condone or seek in real life. Your fictional preferences don't reflect your real life morals and I don't understand why there is this sudden morality policing going on in fiction/ fandom where if a character is even slightly problematic then anyone who likes that character is automatically the spawn of satan.

Anyway went on a slight tangent then. But I personally just don't think the cautionary tale was a necessary one and it was not one that I found interesting at all, especially when the backdrop for the tale has an even more important story to tell about the prosecution of minorities. I am much more interested in that story than one where they are warning me about something that I am already painfully aware of. I also, as I mentioned before, don't like the way the story was dealt with. I feel like Alina was very much shamed by the narrative for falling for the darkling and she's painted as being this stupid girl who fell for his manipulations and should have known better. I also feel like some people in the fandom treat darkling fans the same way, like they are just dumb hormonal girls which you know is really sexist and misogynistic. Also sometimes it doesn't matter how forewarned you are about attractive charismatic men you can still fall for them. That doesn't make it your fault or make you weak. You can come out of one abusive relationship and then end up falling into another and again its not your fault. I personally think we need to stop telling women that they should know better, its not as black and white as that. If a man manipulates and abuses a woman then the blame falls entirely on that man, not on his victim.

I understand that the story was personal to LB as she said in an interview that she wrote the trilogy when she had just come out of an abusive relationship and I have alot of sympathy for her, no one should have to go through that. And look I am no psychologist or expert but I do think you can see echoes of this throughout her work. I mean none of the relationships are healthy, they all have problematic elements in them and alot of them include the males trying to control their female partners in some way. Also there's the habit of quite a few of the female characters being made victims of men, Alina, Genya, Nina, you could even argue Baghra. They all are punished or used by men in various ways.

So I am not sure I really answered your question and instead kind of went on a bit of a rant but in my opinion the reason why the darkling wasn't written as a villain from the start who just took Alina captive and forced the collar on her without messing around with seducing her (if you could really call what happened in the books a seduction) is because it didn't fit what LB wanted for her narrative. She wanted this character who was a charming, charismatic manipulator to serve as a cautionary tale of how older men misuse their power to deceive younger women.

[headcans-oneshots-and-stuff]

Favorite Human

Fandom: Teen Wolf Pairing: McCall!Pack x reader (platonic) Word count: 2.8k Summary: It’s Malia who first smells it - the bitter scent that had started to Infiltrate yours - and she, Lyida and Kira decide to find out what was wrong with you...  Warning: Nothing too much really, but it’s slightly Angsty I guess. Also the feels Requested by the amazing, patient and great anon: Hi~,Teen Wolf person again. Can i request a pack image where the reader is hiding something for the pack and the pack are all sort of catching on to it like chemosignals and behaviour. Eventually they kinda piece the bits together and figure it out. they all try to comfort you and help you get better. Something just along those lines.(They could be hiding selfharm stuff, family stuff or they like someone in the group or yeah, you can pick what your comfort writing for) Thank you have a nice day~

The California sun was beating down on Beacon Hills and its inhabitants, a feeling of peace and calm that was - by now - almost foreign in the city laid in the air and prompted the resident teenagers and young adults to enjoy a day away from school, stress and (for a very special group) life threatening situations. This particular group - the McCall pack, as they were known in the supernatural community of the city - decided to spend their free time on a very nice, but fairly unknown clearing in the beacon hill woods and for once being surrounded by these trees didn’t give them the vibe that one of them could probably die at any given moment. It was a rather nice change. “Uno,” Liam smiled as he slapped a +4 card onto the floor, making Mason groan and throw his head back. It was the third time in a row that Liam was winning and while it seemed to leave you completely cold it annoyed Mason to no end, but he couldn’t stop playing either until either you or him finally beat the wolf. While the three of you were sitting in your game circle, Malia, Lydia and Kira were lounging on a picnic blanket enjoying the sun and having their conversation. The only one who was sitting on the grass like a lost puppy was Stiles, phone in hand but seemingly not having the attention span to focus on it for more than five consecutive seconds. Originally he and Scott had been sitting there together talking about Lacrosse or girls or whatever the two of them talked about when they weren’t planning to save the city, but Scott had - after lots of pleading and begging on his betas part - disappeared into the direction of the city to buy some ice cream for everyone. “Y/N?” Liam shocked your shoulder and you had to shake your head to come back into reality and out of your thoughts. “Yes?” you looked at him with wide doe-eyes full of confusion. “It’s your turn.” “Oh, right, sorry, just lost in thoughts,” you smiled apologetically and shrugged before turning to your cards to think about your next move, not noticing how Liam and Mason exchanged a look. They had started to notice the change in your behaviour only recently. Your usual very cheery, always-seeing-the-best-in-everyone-and-everything self started to be stuck in your thoughts more often and your smile seemed just a little bit off lately. “Here you go,” you looked up again and put a +2 in front of Liam earning a quiet ‘Yessss’ from Mason at the prospect of finally beating his best friend, only to be sorely disappointed when a smirk immediately filled Liam’s face as he victoriously added his own - last - +2 card onto the pile, effectively winning the game and starting a rather useless discussion about whether the fact that the makers of Uno stated that putting a +2 on another +2 and making it a +4 wasn’t allowed counted anything. While Mason and Liam kept on blickering you pulled yourself up from the grass-floor and wandered over to the girls who welcomed you with kind smiles and made space for you on the blanket. As you sank down you were immediately pulled into Malias lap who hugged you into her and pressed her nose into your neck and y/h/l hair to smell you - a habit of hers that you had at first found more than disturbing but by now had gotten used to. In fact, the more time you spent with your not-quite-human friends and acquaintances, the more you noticed that they all had their own little versions of that, even though with Malia it was the most extreme since she was still the one running mostly on her basic instincts. At least that’s how Stiles explained it to you. He said that since you were logically seen the most vulnerable and ‘weak’ member of the pack their natural instincts where to protect and shield you from all dangers and make sure you are alright and - after your initial reaction of punching the hell out of Stiles’ shoulder in order to show him just how not-weak you were - you started registering it more and more. It was mostly very little things with Scott, Liam, Derek and in some situations (even though rarely) Peter like little hugs and giving you their clothes to scent you, pushing themselves in front of you in the face of even the most harmless of situations or the way they just sometimes randomly turned up at your house (this was mostly Scott, Liam and Malia though) to check if you’re okay even if they could just call. With Malia it was all that, but times ten in intensitivity. And the smelling. Malia herself wasn’t quite sure why, but she simply loved your natural scent. It always managed to calm her down. So you got used to her randomly smelling at you even if it did weird you out from time to time. Usually she would pull back after a few seconds, give you a happy smile and get back to what she was doing before like nothing happened, but this time when she drew back she looked at you displeased and confused. “Is something the matter?” you asked just as confused and now the other girls, who had gotten used to Malias antics and taken on the habit of just completely ignoring it in order not to get growled at, got curious as well and turned their attention towards you. “Something’s off,” Malia grumbled and scrunched her nose like she’s smelt something rotten. “Oi!” you scoffed and moved back a little, feign being offended, “Are you telling me I stink?” “No,” Malia sighed and rolled her eyes, “It’s not that, it’s just...your scent is- I don’t know how to put it really. Bitter? I think?” “What does that mean?” Lydia asked, her interest now seemingly spiked. “‘M not sure,” Malia shrugged and moved forward to take another good sniff at your hair, only for you to move your head back out of her reach and put your hands on her shoulders to keep her a distance away from you. “I think that’s quite enough,” you chuckled, but it sounded mechanical almost, “I appreciate the concern, but I don’t really think me smelling bitter means anything.” Noticing the way you held yourself defensive, something that you almost never did, all three of the girls wanted to investigate further, but you quickly moved off of Malia’s lap and stood up. “Oh look, there’s our ice cream,” you smiled as if nothing was happening and jogged over to your Alpha to help him. “This was weird, right? She’s acting weird, isn’t she?” Kira questioned and looked between the other two girls who nodded, “What’s that about?” “Not sure, but we gotta find out before the boys notice anything. Malia is bad enough already, but if the male wolfies find out we’ll have a real problem on our hands,” Lydia sighed and inspected you from afar. 

After then the three of them noticed it far more often, the way you held yourself changed and your smile seemed to lessen by the day. By the time you started to fold into yourself and Malia said that your smell was getting more bitter, to the extent that she could smell it above almost everything else surrounding you, they knew that it had gotten out of their hands. They had to involve the others as much as they dreaded their reactions. As they had predicted Scott, Liam and - surprisingly enough for a human - Stiles didn’t react kindly to it, immediately planning to confront you. But in a turn of events, their thirst for actions and the girls rational thinking evened each other out and they decided on an approach that was reluctant enough to not scare you away, while also - hopefully - pushing you to tell them what was wrong. They wanted to do it in an environment that you felt comfortable in so they decided to go to your place, but that meant that they couldn’t all come, since they didn’t want to overwhelm you either. So, after a long and exhausting discussion, they decided that Stiles would be the one who’d go in first to make sure everything was clear and then give the others a heads up to follow. The Pack was standing - as inconspicuous as it was possible for a group of five - on the other side of the street your house was in as Stiles was walking down your driveway, welcomed by a cute door plate that had obviously been made my a little child and he was pretty safe in his assumption that you had been the one who had made it when you were younger. After taking a breath of reassurance Stiles raised his hand and knocked on the door. You must have been near the door already, because not even ten second later the door was tipped open and you stared at him with tired eyes, in your alien Pajamas with messy hair. If Stiles had not known better he would have assumed you had tried to sleep. “Who is it Honey?” He heard the voice of your mother scream, but the usual sweet voice he was used to hearing from her was strained and mixed with annoyance. “Uhm...It’s Stiles! My friend from school, he was here last month to study for my english exam, you remember?” “Oh, yes,” your mother walked out of the kitchen and into the hallway, “Hello Stiles.” Stiles returned the greeting, but his thoughts were more occupied by the state of your mother. Her hair looked unwashed and even more messy than yours, obviously not because of sleep, but rather because she hadn’t brushed it in a while, there were red stains under her eyes, the skin around it dry and strained, it didn’t take a genius to figure out that she must have cried - a lot - and her blouse was wrinkled, which he knew from their previous meetings and what you had told him about her would usually be a no-go for her. “Well, if you’ll excuse me,” she smiled, but it was tight-lipped and obviously forced, but before she disappeared into the kitchen again she looked at you, “Y/N, make it fast please.” You just nodded and turned back to Stiles. “Hey,” he said again, a little bit uncertain now, the situation having thrown him off of the plan he had made in his head on the way from the pack to the door. “Hi,” you said and he had to admit that you were definitely your mothers daughter by the way your forced smile perfectly resembled hers. “I wanted to talk to you, uhm, we - I mean me and the pack by that, well it started with Lydia, Malia and Kira, but anyways - we noticed that you’ve been...how do I put this correctly- well, I guess you’ve been off more lately and so we’ve been worried, because usually you smile a lot and you always make unfunny jokes and all that and now you don’t so-” Stiles rambled and just let everything flow out at once, probably would have continued to do so if you hadn’t held up your hand to stop him. “Not-Not here, okay? I’ll answer your questions, but not here. Let’s take this outside, please,” you shut Stiles up and took his arm to lead him out of your house and onto your porch where you sat down on the stairs leading onto your front law. For a while there was silence as Stiles found himself unsure of what to do next, but he could basically feel the piercing stares of his friends on him. After a few seconds of contemplating he sat down beside you, while still keeping a little bit of distance - just to make sure he wasn’t too overwhelming. “So…” “Yeah, so…” “Why...have you been so off?” Stiles asked but honestly couldn’t help but cringe a bit at how completely un-smooth he sounded. “I- It’s-” you tried multiple approaches, but stopped yourself every time, only to sink your face into your hands and sigh, “I’m sorry.” You raised your face again and looked at Stiles and he could see the sadness, this slight sense of despair. “Hey, it’s okay, don’t rush yourself,” Stiles tried to comfort you, “If you can’t tell me that’s okay, we’re just all very worried about you. We want to make sure that you’re okay.” “No, it’s fine, I- I think I actually wanted to tell you all for a while, but- I don’t really know, it’s just been hard for me… My parent’s have been going through some rough patches for the last few months and now my dad - he,” you stopped again and hugged your arms around you, Stiles couldn’t help but notice the glistening of tears in your eyes, “-He moved out two weeks ago. I mean, sure there were signs, it wasn’t working well by all means, but moving out? That was pretty shocking for my mom and me.” By now the tears had started rolling down your face and Stiles couldn’t hold back anymore. He moved closer to you and laid his arm around your shoulder to pull you into him. It seemed that the pack couldn’t hold back anymore either, because only a few seconds either Lydia was kneeling in front of you holding your hands, the rest also finding positions around you - hoping to give you as much comfort as possible. You gave them a wet chuckle, even though your tears didn’t stop flowing. “I could’ve guessed that you’re not far. I’m sorry for being a mess.” “No, Don’t ever be sorry for feeling. We love you and that means that we’ll be there for you through the bad times just as we are in the good times,” Scott assured you and lovingly petted your head even though he knew that you always complained about how it made you feel like a little child or a puppy. “Thank you guys for being here - it’s just a lot right now. My mom is expecting me to be on her side, while my dad keeps expecting me to decide about where I’m going to live now. He wants me to move with him to New York into the city he grew up in, but I don't want to leave Beacon Hills. I have my whole life here, my school, you guys, my mom, literally everything, but I also don’t want to lose him- It’s just, I feel so torn and it seems like every choice I could take would be the wrong one,” you were full on sobbing at that point, but it was clear enough for your friends to understand you. “Hey, It’s okay,” Lydia tried to calm you down, “I know that this seems like an impossible choice, but I can assure you we will find a way. We’ve defeated some of the greatest evils that the world has seen and we were successful. We’ll be just as successful with this, okay?” You started nodding and for the first time in a while you were actually feeling just a little bit like yourself again, a sliver of home filling your heart at all your friends who were by your side and supporting you. “Lydia’s right,” Scott agreed. “There’s one thing I gotta ask though,” Liam started and before anyone else with a little more sense of sensibility could stop him asked: “Why didn’t you tell us before? I mean we’re you’re best friends ri-” At that moment Mason basically threw himself at him and put his hand in front of his mouth to shut him up. “You don’t have to answer that,” Kira assured you, but you just shook your head. “No, it’s fine, I get why he asked. I- I guess I just thought - it’s like Lydia said, we fight evil on a weekly base, we have to worry about so much more serious things than my stupid family drama.” “Now listen to me,” Lydia spoke up in her I-will-take-no-talkbacks-voice and looked at your sternly, “This is not stupid and it is by no means less imporant than anything else we do, okay? Maybe it’s not life-threatening or supernatural, but it is still hurting you and as friends we can’t let anything hurt our favorite human, can we now?” And in that moment everything was okay again - if only for just a few seconds - with your friends by your side and Stiles yelp of protest, because he insisted that he was at least Scott’s favorite human, - earning himself a look from Scott that told him that what Lydia said also applied to him - even made you laugh your normal laugh again. And so, when Malia finally got close enough to you with all your friends surrounding you to smell your scent, she found that your normal, sweet scent was finally returning again, and even though there was still a bitter undertone to it she now was sure that it would soon be back to her favorite scent again.

[lifblogs]

Welcome to Heaven

@chaos-company's Angstpril 2022: Day 5 - "I never stopped."

Fandom: Supernatural Rating: Teen and Up Audiences Pairing: Destiel Word Count: 424 Summary: Dean dies, and he sees someone he did not expect. READ ON AO3

“Dean?”

Castiel’s voice was as clear as day, and it punctured Dean’s very soul. It was something he hadn’t heard in a long, long time.

Cas, looking the same as he always had with his tan overcoat swaying in the gentle breeze, his black suit with the white shirt, and the blue tie. And those blue, blue eyes. And he smiled, and he was coming towards Dean across the old, wooden bridge they both stood upon that held them up above a plentiful river.

Birds sang in the conifers, and Dean thought he might cry.

Was this Heaven?

He’d died.

Of course he’d died. Everyone died. He was sure old age had taken him.

And… And there was his angel.

Suddenly, he ran to Cas, and Cas’ large, warm hands were holding his face.

“I never stopped,” Dean blurted out, words coming before he could barely think. There was too much to think. Castiel was in front of him, holding him! He was here! “I never stopped trying to get you out. I swear, I swear on—on my life, m-my mother, Miracle the dog, whatever…”

All the pain of those lonely years, those long nights, flooded back, and he gripped Cas like he was going to disappear into darkness again.

Castiel caressed Dean’s face.

“Dean, it’s all right.” And then he raised an eyebrow. “Who’s Miracle?”

“I sort of got a dog.”

“I thought you hated dogs.”

“Things change.”

He was searching Castiel’s face, this close, seeing if he’d changed. Cas was doing the same. He had to be.

Would Cas still love who he was, after all this time? After everything? After failing him?

“Cas—” he tried to get out, breath hitching in his throat, chest aching.

“I never stopped either,” Castiel interrupted.

Dean frowned in confusion, his deepest of apologies cut short. “What?”

“I never stopped loving you.”

They pressed their foreheads together, Dean holding Cas tight. “Oh god, I never… I never stopped missing you, searching for you. Sammy… Sammy got so worried he almost made me see a shrink. I missed you, Cas. So much.”

“I missed you, too, Dean.”

Then they were hugging, Dean’s chin resting against Cas’ shoulder and he found that he was looking at the green of trees through a blurry sheen of tears.

When they pulled apart, there was no hesitation. Dean kissed Cas, and that broken heart that lived, beating pitifully in his chest, was healed. Years of pain, years of loss—gone. All gone.

Cas pulled away, and said, “Welcome to Heaven.”

[ultfreakme]

I started watching Teen Wolf specifically for sterek, to write fics for the ship, read meta, just go ham on that side of the fandom for real, so yes, I came for the slash. Mostly because I wanted more of them in canon with more context and somehow found myself having more of them in fanfiction than in canon. Which left me confused on why Sterek is one of the biggest ships EVER. 

Don’t get me wrong I love the ship, and Derek and Stiles do have a bond of some sorts but we get so little of it, but whatever we do has such high importance that I don’t understand why Stiles and Derek got those lines when in the context of the show it feels like they barely interact. 

But I can’t even dismiss anything because the moments they do get are so surprisingly significant(you probably already know all that’s mentioned on the list if you’re a shipper so you can skip it tbh):

Peter’s speech about the power of human love and the camera directly going from Stiles to Derek

The ‘abomination’ thing- the camera lingered on Derek’s expression

The pool scene(ah yes, probably the point where we all converted)

Matt and the Kanima scene- “You two make a good pair”. 

Boyd’s death- the comfort of human touch.

Stiles for some reason easily recognizing Derek on first meeting(he was the first to recognize young Derek too. Actually, he knows surprisingly lots about Derek).

Stiles is Derek’s anchor. I don’t know why, but the scene in “The Divine Move” can mean little else.

Derek is the king on Stiles’s board for some reason. He thought if Derek was out, the entire game was over. That’s a LOT of trust and responsibility on someone he barely interacted with(that we’ve seen anyways). 

Stiles’s curiosity about Derek in general- this is probably because Sties is meant to be the ‘info dump’ guy but he actively seeks out info on him-the Paige incident.

On text, these events are way too significant. If you saw this written out in a novel format, it would look like Stiles and Derek had a very very significant relationship.

About Matt- I didn’t understand why he said they “make a great pair” because they honestly had not interacted enough to be viewed as one, and this is coming from me who was basically scavenging for scenes of them together. 

Derek’s anchor thing- The part that struck me most was that this scene took place when no one trusted Stiles, not even himself, because the Nogitsune was using him. Even the Sheriff was being cautious. The entire arc was about trust and Stiles. But Derek chose STILES to confide in about all his worries to. He put all of it in Stiles? Why? It could’ve been for fanservice and to feed the starving sterek fans but the moment is too significant. This isn’t an illusion, this isn’t Derek being forced to pick- for once this is Derek willingly choosing to place his trust in someone(something that is nigh impossible to gain) in Stiles. If they wanted  fanservice it could’ve been in a witty but overall pointless banter in some other scene, but this point is almost a turning point for Derek’s behaviour.

There has been long metas on all of the above and these scenes were intentional.

Which is when I realized that Stiles and Derek’s relationship is unlike every other relationship on the show. It happens in the background the most. This is probably the slowest of slow burn enemies-to-lovers relationship. Their relationship is implications, references, symbolic.

They weren’t meant to be romantic probably(Derek’s like, 24 or smthg and Stiles is 16-18, this show absolutely sucks at keeping a timeline). I think they were meant to just be, begrudging friends who often have same goals, an unlikely but effective team of sorts, united mostly because of Scott at first and then grow to become some sort of crime-solving, supernatural-butt-kicking duo. But it somehow got out of hand. 

Stiles is one person that Derek gets almost nothing out of saving, has no obligation towards. His relationship with Scott started because he’s his beta. Chris and Derek have a relationship mostly built on guilt and somehow making it up to each other. Isaac, Boyd and Erica were also his betas he needed to take care of. Peter’s the only family he has left and also happens to be a well of information(sometimes). Breaden’s mission is to get him his money back. 

But the one person who he gets nothing from, who he has no tie to, who he really doesn’t need to give a crap about but actually cares way too much for, enough to make them his anchor? Stiles. Whatever relationship he has with Stiles, he chose to have it.

Now Stiles- he’s more obvious about stuff especially in season 3. Taking down Derek means losing the game against the nogitsune. Losing Derek is unlike the other loses, he’s essentially put Derek’s survival through this game as equivalent to his own. The nogitsune(or Stiles somehow manipulating the nogistune) led the Sheriff, Chris, Allison, and Derek to Derek’s loft. Why there? What’s so significant to Stiles about this place. Go is about overtaking territory- the places the nogitsune had captured were the Sheriff’s station, the school, the hospital- and for some reason, the loft. Wouldn’t his home be better? Or somewhere else where he spends his time? It’s clear that Derek is important to Stiles(More symbolically, we get confirmation of sorts for Stiles being bi in Derek’s loft...hmmm......this is so sus). 

Here’s the thing though; I doubt either of them are aware of how much they care about the other, Derek’s whole “I don’t deserve happiness” shtick+ trauma from how horrible all his other relationships went and Stiles’s possibly crippling PTS+ train-wreck of a relationship with Malia(the girl can barely empathize and she’s just adjusting to human society why the fuck are you putting something as huge as a committed HUMAN VERSION of romance on her??? Why is this relationship even a thing it has all the makings for a messy break-up). 

They’d probably come to their realization years later, outside of the canon timeline and it’d probably be unlike any former relationship they’d have. Stiles has seen the worst of Derek(that’s the starting point of TW, Derek was a villain), and Derek probably knows a lot of Stiles’s flaws because he isn’t putting up a pretense. 

The Teen Wolf canon feels more like building blocks and puzzle pieces for their relationship than the whole picture tbh, which is fun, because we get to envision whatever we want. 

[mortifyingideal]

i was tagged in this by the wonderful @fremulon (thanks cherry!) and accidentally deleted the whole thing twice so now i'm mostly just posting it out of spite and without a read more due to said spite. SUCK IT TUMBLR.

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

I have 10 published out loud and 1 published anonymously

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

226419

3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

okay so this is really only my most recent life. i have been around a lot. a lot. i was there, gandalf, during the superwholock years (and an active participant) so over the course of my life it's like

Harry Potter, Teen Titans, Sherlock, Doctor Who, Supernatural, Inception, Daredevil, The Avengers, The Musketeers, Wells & Wong Mysteries, Twin Peaks, Homestuck, Red vs Blue

but in this lifetime i'm just writing for Good Omens (and have written for DuckTales and Cruella)

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

1 — Loosely Ballroom (surprising absolutely nobody)

2 — Look Not Too Deep

3 — ergo propter hoc (okay this one is kind of a surprise actually but i'm very happy about it i love this fic)

4 — café au vin

5 — an institute you can't disparage

5. Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

i do! i try to respond to every comment i get on the day of/the day after i get it. i've met a lot of good friends this way, and i also just like taking the time to respond to people who've taken the time to respond to something i made. makes me feel good (plus i want everyone to like me)

the only downside is it can get a bit overwhelming at times? particularly with LB, which gets a shitload of comments per chapter and can take me up to two full days to read through them all and answer, and if i'm having a bad brain time i just cannot face doing it. so if you've ever left a comment and i've not responded, i promise It's not because i don't appreciate it. my brain machine just was going brmmmmmmmmm.

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

i was going to say NONE BECAUSE I DON'T WRITE ANGST but i guess if i had to decide it would be the RVB fic that's on my ao3 right now, which has an angstily hopeful ending.

7. Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

hahahaha

CRAZY LIKE A FOX

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

not as far as i'm aware! i have had several uhhhhhhh overly familiar meant-to-be-jovial comments on/about the above crossover from people i don't really know very well that have told me i'm a terrible person or i've committed crimes while i'm out here like, cool this is art i made and put in the world for fun and believe in and i don't really... know you? but those comments were meant in good faith imo so i don't really think it counts as hate

9. Do you write smut? If so what kind?

the last time i tried to write smut, crowley got stabbed, so the kind that sends people to the hospital i guess?

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not to my knowledge. good luck formatting all the images and italics, anyone who might try.

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

again, not to my knowledge!

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

infamously. it's the only reason anyone might have read this far. also attempting to collaborate on an as-of-yet-unfinished-project with @indieninja92 who is a creative genius with their finger in many, many pies. speaking of, have you visited hauntedswords.com recently?

13. What’s your all time favorite ship?

errrrrr i mean probably aziraphale/crowley, not to seem obvious. they've been with me since i was like 10 years old, they haven't gone anywhere, they will probably be bothering me until the day i die.

14. What’s a WIP you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

I WILL FINISH ALL OF MY WIPs. okay no that's not true, i have the start of an inception fic that is a GO AU that i honestly think would have been fucking slammin' but the time for that has passed now.

15. What are your writing strengths?

a very definite sense of character voice, attention to detail in terms of enriching the world i'm writing in, dialogue dialogue dialogue, smash cuts (are they even called smash cuts in writing? WHATEVER THEY ARE I CAN DO THEM)

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

you are my collaborator. you send me back part of a chapter and tell me i have a sentence that is a bit too lengthy and doesn't work, and i need to edit it. i send it back to you. the sentence is now an entire paragraph and a half, with three jokes, a metaphor and a new line of dialogue embedded in it, changing the overall tone of the chapter. this is known as The Mort Special.

i also get very in my own head about not really being a good writer, or not being as good as the people (or person specifically i suppose) that i'm working with. i'm working on this! i'm not working on The Mort Special, though, that's always writing gold.

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

this is a really weird and specific question, who hurt you OP? errrr i guess much like any quirk of writing, it's fine when used sparingly and with a deft hand.

18. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

fuck me, probably Harry Potter? neopets roleplaying boards were a gateway drug.

19. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

this is the part where i pretend i'm going to say something other than Loosely Ballroom. i don't think i'll ever make something else in my life that's made me feel the way making that has. it's been—to delve into reality TV speak (and paraphrase crowley from a future chapter)—a real emotional rollercoaster.

plus it's just fuckin' funny isn't it.

tagging @phoenix-soar, @thyra279, @heycaricari, @stillseekwill and @katnoggin (and anyone else who might want to!)

[amispnrewatch]

SPN 1x06 “Skin”

Okay, I’m gonna try to type while I watch this time instead of forgetting this blog exists until the episode is almost over.

You can tell the footage for the previously on segment was saved on a VHS copy instead of the original film that the show was shot with because even in the HD iTunes version I have it looks low quality as fuck. And jumpy in the way that brings me back to my teens watching the WB all the damn time.

I love this song. WTF is this song. Shazam says “Good Deal” by Mommy and Daddy. I… have no comment, except that it sounds like everything I was listening to in college at the time this shit was airing.

Aaaaand not!Dean turns around to face the SWAT team after obviously torturing some woman. THAT is a cold open.

I wanna know what that car is in the background. It’s pretty. Maybe a convertible Impala? They have similar grills. This is not at all important.

Also, I love that with these higher definition versions of the episodes you can see that Sam’s email is lawboy and whatever dot com and that people in the fandom have started calling him Law Boy. It’s hilarious.

DEAN: Well, what exactly do you tell ‘em? You know, about where you’ve been, what you’ve been doin’?

SAM: I tell ‘em I’m on a road trip with my big brother. I tell ‘em I needed some time off after Jess.

DEAN: Oh, so you lie to ‘em.

SAM: No. I just don’t tell ‘em….everything.

DEAN: Yeah, that’s called lying. I mean, hey, man, I get it, tellin’ the truth is far worse.

SAM: So, what am I supposed to do, just cut everybody out of my life? (DEAN shrugs.) You’re serious?

DEAN: Look, it sucks, but in a job like this, you can’t get close to people, period.

Aaaaand now I have Dean and Cassie feelings again and we haven’t even gotten to her episode yet.

SAM: No, man, I know Zack. He’s no killer.

DEAN: Well, maybe you know Zack as well as he knows you.

Aaaaaand now I have Dean and Lee feelings and we’re nowhere near Lee’s episode in season 15.

YOU JUST BLEW THROUGH A STOP SIGN DEAN WTF.

Little Becky. Oi with the reusing of names.

Of course Sam made friends with a bunch of rich kids while he was at college in a desperate attempt to try to be normal.

SAM: You know, maybe we could see the crime scene. Zack’s house.

DEAN: We could.

REBECCA: Why? I mean, what could you do?

SAM: Well, me, not much. But Dean’s a cop. (DEAN laughs.)

DEAN: Detective, actually.

I love that Dean was like “how dare you call me that.”

Okay, after a bit of research, I totally want to take a day trip to Bisbee, Arizona, but it’s already in the 90s here in the desert and it’s not even May so that trip is going to have to wait until… winter or something. There is no way in hell I’m going deeper into the desert when the weather gets hotter.

It’s a historic mining town tourist trap looking place now which is exactly the kind of shit I love.

SAM: Bec, look, I know Zack didn’t do this. Now, we have to find a way to prove that he’s innocent.

I mean, not technically, technically you would 1) NOT FUCK WITH A MURDER INVESTIGATION YOU’RE NOT LEGALLY INVOLVED IN BECAUSE ANYTHING YOU FIND WOULD BE INADMISSABLE IN COURT 2) find evidence to provide a reasonable doubt for the jury that he did commit the crime. You know, like a lawyer would need to do, Law Boy.

DEAN: I just don’t think this is our kind of problem.

When I made my husband watch this show with me (he’s seen it all at least once now over the years) this is the recurring thing that drove him crazy.

You guys can’t even go in through the back door? Or shut the front door behind you? Really?

REBECCA: (tearfully) Well, there’s no sign of a break-in. They say that Emily let her attacker in.

Yeah, that doesn’t even really mean that she knew her attacker. Just that it was someone she let her guard down around or got in some other way. See: The Son of Sam and Nightstalker, etc.

Love the pinup magnet on the fridge. I’d throw shade at that, but I have a pinup magnet on my fridge too so… pot kettle and all that.

Okay, both people in the next couple are gorgeous.

And oh wow those special effects changing eyes… wow.

This poor couple. I feel so bad for them in this episode.

How… how are the police gonna explain the way he was able to beat himself over the head with a bat??? I…

I love that 5:30 in the morning on TV is clearly like… 10 AM.

Okay, this is a really unrelated point, but the graffiti on the dumpster here reminds me of the Teen Wolf fandoms use of the name Void!Stiles when Stiles Stilinski was possessed by a Nogitsune… I just spent way too long digging through YouTube and my Tumblr tags from back when those episodes were airing looking for a few specific videos and couldn’t find them. The TL;DR reason I bring it up here is goofball, bi-coded main character guy getting possessed by an entity set on destroying the people he loves. SOUNDS LIKE THIS EPISODE AND A WHOLE LOT OF SPN RIGHT. I love that all these monster hunting shows call out to each other.

This scene haunts me years later and I don’t even WATCH Teen Wolf. I just watched the fandom on Tumblr collectively lose it’s shit then tripped down a Hale Pack fanfiction rabbit hole.

ANYWAY

Back to Supernatural, a show that also treated its fan base, cast, and characters like garbage! Huzzah!

DEAN: Well, there’s another way to go—down. (They look down and notice a manhole.)

I’m gonna be mature and ignore the double entendre there…

But I love that Dean thinks of the world in 3D. Which sounds like a dumb statement to make, but this is honestly a good example of that in action.

SAM: I bet this runs right by Zack’s house, too.

Really Sam, sewers run by houses? SO WEIRD. I WOULD HAVE NEVER GUESSED.

DEAN: You know, I just had a sick thought. When the shapeshifter changes shape—maybe it sheds.

SAM: That is sick. (DEAN puts the bloody pile back on the ground.)

Guys, there is a WHOLE ASS EAR in that pile of yuck you’re looking at. I think it’s pretty safe to assume the shapeshifter indeed sheds its skin like a snake. A much… gooier snake.

Sam’s friend is rightfully pissed at him for fucking with the crime scene.

This is before the pearl gripped guns?! Wow. I never noticed that before.

Also, this whole episode gives me feelings.

++++

Cool. Tumblr mobile ate a whole section of my notes on this when it crashed for NO APPARENT REASON. Love that.

It always boggles my mind that actors can trust the people they’re working with enough to let people “tie” ropes around their neck or put them in actually dangerous positions in a scene.

SHAPESHIFTER: He’s sure got issues with you. You got to go to college. He had to stay home. I mean, I had to stay home. With Dad. You don’t think I had dreams of my own? But Dad needed me. Where the hell were you?

SAM: Where is my brother? (The shapeshifter leans in close to SAM.)

SHAPESHIFTER: I am your brother. See, deep down, I’m just jealous. You got friends. You could have a life. Me? I know I’m a freak. And sooner or later, everybody’s gonna leave me. (He backs away.)

SAM: What are you talkin’ about?

SHAPESHIFTER: You left. Hell, I did everything Dad asked me to, and he ditched me, too. No explanation, nothin’, just poof. Left me with your sorry ass. But, still, this life? It’s not without its perks. (He laughs.) I meet the nicest people. Like little Becky. You know, Dean would bang her if he had the chance. Let’s see what happens. (He smiles and covers SAM with a sheet.)

This exchange is just… so much. So many feelings. And I will forever (unless we magically get a fix-it fic mini season someday…) be SO MAD that none of this got resolved in that pointless, trash heap of a finale.

REBECCA: Okay, so, this thing—it can make itself look like anybody?

SHAPESHIFTER: That’s right. (She chuckles.)

REBECCA: Well, what is it, like a genetic freak? (The shapeshifter laughs.)

SHAPESHIFTER: Maybe. Evolution is about mutation, right? So, maybe this thing was born human but was different. Hideous and hated. Until he learned to become someone else. (REBECCA looks around, uncomfortable. The shapeshifter’s eyes glint silver, and he smiles.)

It always amazes me how much of this show is a pile of accidental queer allegories parading around in an ill-fitting toxic masculinity suit.

Vulcan mind meld! I love nerd!Dean. Also, I’m rewatching Star Trek: TOS with my husband, because that is what my life amounts to these days, rewatching comfort TV and flailing over the bits I love.

This post does a better job than I can do of pairing up screen caps with the dialogue of this next scene. SIX EPISODES IN. They’re dumping all of this character depth SIX EPISODES IN. FUCK THIS SHOW FOR NOT EMBRACING ITSELF.

Okay, I love that he screams back in her face after he threw the phone. It’s not something to laugh at because the situation is horrifying, but I can’t help laughing at it every time.

AND THE WAY THEY CUT THESE SCENES. Going from him winding his hand back to backslap her directly to him dropping the chains on the table to show how hard he must have hit her without actually making the actors hit each other. Good job editing department!

I… don’t understand the shifter’s motivation for killing people. If he can take over people’s identities without killing them, why kill them? Is it just because he’s a homicidal, rapist piece of shit? Cause that’s all it seems like.

How did the SWAT team even know she was being attacked? Why can the snipers aim no better than Storm Troopers?

Ugh, these kind of transformation body horror scenes are exactly why werewolf stories have never really appealed to me much. Like, I could do without watching your ribs move and teeth fall out, dude.

BUT.

THIS FUCKING SCENE.

I looked up the song that’s playing over shapeshifter!Dean being caught by the SWAT team and then going through the grotesque transformation. (And as far as I know, the iTunes version has the original music from the episodes.)

It’s a song called “Mary” by The Death Riders

Who's your mother, who's your mother here boy // Who's your mother, whos your mommy dear // Who's your father, who's your father here boy // Who's your father, who's your daddy dear

Silently screaming // Where everyone knows // Daddy's always watchin' // Where everywhere - everywhere I go

I don't wanna be a freak show pretty boy anymore // I don't wanna be a full time slave // I don't wanna be your midnight cowboy anymore // I just want to be Mary

This is… a fascinating choice. Here are the rest of the lyrics. The song as a whole has a weird incesty kinda vibe to it? Kinda like when SPN tries to straight-wash itself and misses the mark wildly. (Like Dean’s male siren episode.)

The midnight cowboy line reminded me of 12x11 and the bull riding scene with “Broomstick Cowboy” by Bobby Goldsboro playing over it

Dream on, little Broomstick Cowboy, // Dream while you can; // Of big green frogs, // And puppy dogs, // And castles in the sand.

For, all too soon you'll awaken; // Your toys will all be gone. // Your broomstick horse will ride away, // To find another home. // And you'll have grown into a man, // With cowboys of your own. // And then you'll have to go to war, // To try and save your home.

And then you'll have to learn to hate; // You'll have to learn to kill. // It's always been that way, my son; // I guess it always will.

Because, you know, why not add tons of feelings into the lyrics, right?

Props to the people who can embrace their rewatches and reclamations of the show with ease. Because every episode seems to remind me of how hollow and tragic Dean’s ending was and I just… struggle all over again.

Anyway, back to the episode so I can move on with my day.

REPORTER: An anonymous tip led police to a home in the Central West End, where a S.W.A.T team discovered a local woman bound and gagged. Her attacker, a white male, approximately twenty-four to thirty years of age, was discovered hiding in her home. (A sketch of DEAN appears on the screen.)

DEAN: Man! That’s not even a good picture. (SAM looks around cautiously.)

SAM: It’s good enough. (He walks away.)

DEAN: Man! (He follows SAM.)

(CUT TO: Alley. DEAN and SAM are walking. DEAN steps into a puddle.)

DEAN: Ugh, come on.

I love that we get two tiny little back-to-back vanity moments for Dean here. One commenting on the sketch artist rendition of him being broadcasted on the news and the other tripping in the puddle. There is literally someone running around the city trying to kill people while wearing Dean’s face, but Dean is still concerned with how he looks appears to others. He’s still concerned with keeping up his own performance. The shifter left him with just a t-shirt, so he doesn’t even have his usual comfort layers on and at any moment someone could spot him and call the police or try to kill him for assaulting Sam’s friend. His life is wildly out of control in that moment and the only thing he can try to focus on is his appearance (something semi-controllable) and finding the shifter before any of that other shit can happen.

One day I want to put together a like top 10 episodes focusing on / explaining each TFW character from the series. Like the kind of list you could show someone who’s never seen the show, but has OPINIONS about the characters (or who hasn’t seen the whole show and seen the growth they went through… you know, like the people responsible for the travesty of 15x20). This episode would be on that list. I’m not sure how I could manage to make a list of only 10 episodes to understand Dean Winchester by, but eh.

SAM: What are you gonna do to me?

SHAPESHIFTER: Oh, I’m not gonna do anything. Dean will, though.

SAM: They’ll never catch him.

SHAPESHIFTER: Oh, doesn’t matter. Murder in the first of his own brother? He’ll be hunted the rest of his life. (He picks up a sharp knife and examines it.)

Speaking of season 15 in general, this right here. This was Chuck’s villain story arc thesis statement. AND THEY DROPPED THE GODDAMN BALL WITH IT. I think that’s the thing that honestly pisses me off the most these days (about 5 1/2 months from when the finale aired) is that they tried making the whole thing a tragedy but did such an awful job with it that it just ended up like a deflating condom balloon at a dive bar concert. Disappointing and gross. The finale for season 14 set them up SO FUCKING WELL and it just… didn’t get there.

Becky’s parents are gonna be pissed at how torn up their house is after all this shit…

And you’re not shooting him when you first see him strangling Sam because…?????

I like that he took the necklace back. Also, is this kinda Dean death number .5 of the show? Like it wasn’t him but it was also kinda him. Eh.

At least they left the windshield on Baby this time. Reflections are better than tearing her apart.

[plotting-against-you]

Will It Ever Be the Same (Part 2)

Fandom: Nancy Drew (TV 2019)

Characters: Ryan Hudson, Nancy Drew, Ace, Bess Marvin, George Fan, Ned 'Nick' Nickerson

Prompt(s): This is based on two prompts. One of those prompts is from Alicia, who asked: "Could you do one where Nancy is 13 instead, has blonde hair like Lucy, and blue eyes like Ryan? She goes to his place like in 1x17 to get help for the ritual and on the way out she gets dizzy because she's been working herself to exhaustion. In that moment Ryan notices how similar she looks to Lucy and himself but decides not to say anything but also knows Nancy is his. She eventually tells him before doing the ritual. They go back to his place and he just says 'I know it's you'. She gets overwhelmed, almost passes out, and he just sits with her and tells her to rest."

This is also for @nancydrewcentral's week 2 hiatus prompt: Time Period AU.

Warnings: Panic/Anxiety attacks, mentions of anxiety and coping mechanisms, mentions of character deaths (past and present), mentions of suicide

Part 1

“Do you need me because I’m your father?”

He watched as her eyes went wide again, and as she scooted her body backward on the ledge, he took a step forward.

“Please, be careful! I don’t want you to get hurt.”

She paused, moving to a safer position, and let the tears roll down her cheeks silently. “You know?”

He nodded. “I found out this morning when you had your panic attack. The way you scrunched your face was exactly how Lucy used to, and when you rolled your eyes at me, it was like I was looking in the mirror. Then the rest fell into place, and I figured it out.”

“But then…why did we drive all the way to Trenton?” Her breathing was still even, but he knew that could change at any minute.

He shrugged. “A selfish part of me—one that I am learning to work on—wanted to spend some time with you. The rest of me knew you didn’t want me to know yet, so I played along. You were freaking out, and I didn’t want to hurt you.”

“Thank you.” Her lip quivered. “Um…I’m really sorry.”

“Sorry?” His brows shot up in surprise. “For what?”

When she shrugged, it screamed “teenager” and almost had him laughing.

“For not telling you.”

“Hey, you didn’t look like you were in any place to tell me. I get it. This is all knew, and your whole life just changed.” He wanted her to know he understood her.

She shook her head. “It’s not that. I mean, it is that, but…I didn’t want to hurt you.”

“Me? How would you have hurt me?”

She bit her lip, and a flash of Lucy filled his head before he focused back on his little girl. “You just lost your wife and found out why the love of your life killed herself. I didn’t want to add more to your plate in case you were disappointed.”

Now he did step forward, holding his hand out to see if she’d take it.

She did.

“Nancy, I could never be disappointed in you. First of all, you’re my child. Second, you’re amazing. You’ve solved so many mysteries that even the cops couldn’t solve. Third, you are a brilliant young woman and a great student from what I’ve heard. I don’t think there is anything you could do to ever make me disappointed to have you as my daughter.”

She gave him a watery smile now, squeezing his hand. “Can we go save my friends now?”

…

Ryan stayed close to Nancy as they walked through the woods just off the Marvin estate. He wasn’t sure what was going to happen, but after hearing that some crazy sea spirit wanted his daughter’s life—as well as those of her friends—he had found himself growing even more protective than he had felt that morning. He was also unsure how she wanted to handle telling everyone about their relationship if they even had one.

Then he saw the group standing around a fire and let her lead.

“Ryan Hudson?” He heard Bess question, her British accent standing out amongst the others.

“Uh, what’s going on?” Nick was next to try and figure out what was happening but was also ignored.

“Let’s do the thing.” Nancy’s voice sounded off, but as she’d had a long day, Ryan let it slide.

“Um…without a blood relative?” Nick was back to questioning her, but Nancy cut him off once more.

“We have one.” She gripped the paper tightly. “’Make a fire. Burn seaweed as an offering to the sea spirit.’”

“Yeah, we have it all there,” Bess told her quietly, and as the only adult, Ryan felt the need to be suspicious as to how a group of teenagers knew how to do supernatural rituals.

Before he could question it, Nancy continued to read. “’Scatter signs of the curse into the offering flame.’”

George sighed and tossed a handful of sand into the fire. “Well, here’s what’s left of my pocket friends.”

Everyone moved back as the flame billowed higher with the offering, but he was the only one who seemed to be concerned about it.

Was the curse this bad that they all saw portents? Ryan wondered to himself. Was Nancy’s life in so much danger that he could possibly lose her before he even really had her?

“’Blood relatives joined hands over the fire.” She handed the paper to George and faced him. “Please.”

Her voice broke, and at the begging look on her face, he acquiesced.

“Start the incantation.” She told the group.

“I don’t understand, though. Are you two cousins or something?” Bess couldn’t help but wonder, even at such a perilous time.

“No. Can we get this over with, please?”

Looking around at the group Ryan noted that although most of them looked confused, Ace just looked sad.

He had seen the two of them together many times but never questioned it. Now, he realized, the two teens must be dating. He knew that he was new to the father business, but he wasn’t sure how he felt about her dating so young.

Then again, while everyone else questioned and stalled, Ace was the one to step forward.

“’In this fire, to end a spirit's desire, we burn the signs with the salt of the sea and two blended wounds. With this offering of blood for blood, we cast a veil between the kindred spirits and the vengeful one, so that it may no longer pursue us. Forever gone.”

As the young man spoke the words, Ryan felt his palms split and forced himself to keep contact with Nancy even as she gasped in pain and let tears spill from her eyes, now openly crying. He could see that she was in real pain, and he needed it to stop.

“Nancy, I have to stop this.”

“No!” She shouted at him over the pain, and his heart broke. “I…I need you to save my friends.”

The grunted in pain as she spoke, her words so desperate he did as she asked.

Nick stepped forward now. “Why do you need Ryan?”

Nancy let out a sob. “Because…Lucy was pr-pregnant with Ryan’s baby, and right before she died, she gave birth…to me.”

She let out a strangled cry of pain again, and as the group watched them in shock and heartbreak for their friend, Ryan focused on keeping her upright, wanting to finish the ritual as soon as possible.

…

Two hours later, Ryan sat on his back patio staring into a fire much like the one he’d seen earlier, though without the crazy offerings of sand and blood.

He’d stayed to speak with Nancy for a little bit after the ritual, but then Carson had shown up, and he’d left quickly to avoid that confrontation. He knew that she wasn’t happy with her adoptive father being there, but as he had the legal right to call the cops if Ryan intervened, the new father let them deal with their grief.

As he stared into the fire now, he thought back to the look on Nancy’s face as they finished the ritual. She was tired, and he guessed she hadn’t gotten any sleep the night before. Having overheard Nancy and Carson yelling at each other, he knew she’d run away the evening prior and had been out all night.

It made a lot of sense why she’d looked so pale upon arriving at his house.

The doorbell rang suddenly, causing Ryan’s brows to furrow in confusion. It was late, much later than anyone should be out, and he knew his parents didn’t ring the bell though he wished that they would.

Then he answered it and felt like he’d been hit by a truck.

“Nancy? What happened?”

The young girl stood on his front step, sobs breaking through her ragged breathing. Her whole body shook, and he could hear the anguish in her cries.

Laying his hand on her shoulder, Ryan pulled her into the house, shutting the door and locking it behind them. Then he felt two arms wrap around his middle and looked down to see his daughter holding onto him like a lifeline.

He copied her action and held her tightly to him, cradling her head to his chest. “Hey, whatever it is, we’ll figure it out, okay?”

She continued to sob. “O…Owen’s de-dead.”

His blood ran ice-cold, and he gripped her tighter. “Was it the Aglaeca?”

“I don’t…I don’t….”

“Shh, it’s okay.” He had to calm her breathing, or he’d be calling an ambulance.

“I killed him.”

“No, you didn’t.” He promised her. “This wasn’t you.”

“But…”

She trailed off, and he felt her body sag, dropping slightly as her legs gave out. “Hey, stay with me, okay?”

“Mmm.”

He knew that the shock, adrenaline, and exhaustion were catching up to her and was worried. Going on instinct, he dipped slightly and lifted her into his arms. When she didn’t respond, his concern grew.

“Hey, you still awake?”

“Mhm.”

Breathing out a sigh of relief, he carried her over to the couch and laid her across it. Then, pulling the blanket off the back, he draped it over her and plopped to the floor by her head. “I think you need sleep, Nancy.”

“But…”

He gripped her hand tightly, and her eyes shot to his. “I know you’re worried about nightmares. But I’m not going anywhere. I just got you. I’m not letting anything happen to you now.”

“Thanks.”

He nodded and waited as she drifted off to sleep.

He was glad he’d gotten a deep sleep the night before when he still believed everything they’d learned. He figured it would probably be the last for a while.

For now, though, he settled himself on the floor and kept guard over the scared teenager, praying that one day soon all she would have to worry about what bad grades, dates with her boyfriend, and worries about what to wear to prom.

[all0nsyidjits]

Guess I'm going to out myself here just a bit. I'm a Lokean. In fact I'm a Godspouse have been since July of 2011. I came to realize who the imaginary friend I had as a kid who never really went away was via pop culture. Before you roll your eyes and dismiss me as a Marvel Loki fangirl let me explain. I didn't fall in love with Tom Hiddleston or his version of Loki. In fact a whole other fandom brought me to Loki. See I'm a fan of the show Supernatural and a favorite character was Gabriel who starts off as the Trickster then it is revealed that he is really the archangel Gabriel who skipped out of heaven and hid his true identity by pretending to be a trickster god, Loki to be exact. I wanted to write a fanfiction about Gabriel's time posing as Loki but I knew shit all about Norse mythology aside from the names of some of the Gods and Godessess. So I started researching and reading the lore and by accident stumbled across a few Lokean blogs. Shortly after Loki showed up and I proceeded to start to question my sanity. I'd gotten into Wicca in my early teens so I had some concept of Pagan deities and all things woo. Still having a god show up and just want to hang out and talk freaked me right the heck out. When he started flirting I was sure I'd completely lost my shit. Slowly he calmed me down and earned my trust. I found others who had been His for a long time and they helped me navigate this new relationship.

Then the Thor movies came out and suddenly everytime I went online there was a new Lokean Godspouse. Loki is not one to waste free PR I guess. I stayed active in the community for awhile but then the cattiness of some in the community made me decide to go solitary. Years passed I rarely missed the community. Loki and I just did our own thing. Sometimes Loki would be gone for some pretty long stretches. Still he was here and things were good.

Then 2020 happened. Look in all honesty I can be a bit of an introvert. I tend to withdraw from people if I sense to much conflict or tension. It's not so much my true nature but more a trauma response to withdraw. My childhood was well complicated. But I'm getting off track here what I mean to say is 2020 was a really shitty year for me and my family. In June I cought Covid 19 I never got all that sick, but the body aches and fatigue never quite went away. Then at the end of July my husband who is diabetic and has neuropathy stepped on a tac and ended up with MRSA. He nearly lost his foot and could have died. He was hospitalized for a month and out of work for three. I worked myself to a frazzle. At one point I had three jobs and was on the clock for 23 hours and 45 minutes one day. I was headed for a breakdown. My husband physically seemed to be on the mend, but his personality was no longer the kind, easygoing affectionate, man I had known for nearly twenty years. Then came the suicide attempt. Like I said it's been a rough since about this time last year.

When my husband made the suicide attempt Loki showed back up worried about both of us. Loki and my mortal husband know about each other. They like each other so please nobody suggest that Loki is trying to get rid of my mortal husband. When we married the priestess who married us was well aware that Loki was part of the ceremony and that I was marrying the both of them. We've been happily married and Loki always felt like I would be okay during his absences because I had someone else that he trusted there with me.

At first Loki tried to be my distraction from all the stress, he's really good at that. Then Loki started to worry I worried about mortal hubby and Loki worried about me. Many pleas to slow down before I had a breakdown too and Loki finally put his foot down I had to learn to say no and I had to take care of me if I was going to take care of anybody else. Finally the tears and the exhaustion came after my husband told a lie that made me look like a very bad person. My mother-in-law went off on me I had been up for three days with only about four hours sleep and those weren't even consecutive hours and I was reduced to a sobbing mess. Like so many times before Loki was there to catch me He let me cry, He let me rage, when the worst had passed I looked at Him.

"So I guess being the God of change you're going to tell me to throw away twenty years of my life and file for divorce." I asked.

"Oh you think you know me so well Little One." Even at a such a solemn moment Loki can't resist using an old nickname from back in my childhood when he was the imaginary friend who took me on wild adventures far away from whatever was going on at home at the time. It had went from term of affection for a child he had chosen to protect to a teasing dig at my 5'3 height compared to well all of Them.

"Well aren't you?" I asked.

"Little one besides being the God of Change what else am I?" I start to rattle off titles and associations.

No let me rephrase that Little One who am I married to who are my Wives his voice somehow conveying the capital W that lets me know it is Sigyn and Angrboda he speaks of.

"Sigyn and Angrboda" I say.

And what Little one is my precious Sigyn the Goddess of?

Fidelity I answer and then it hits me She had stuck by Him through far worse.

So I'm here I'm staying but there are days when I just wish I had someone to talk to. Someone human.

This year has been hard the isolation brought on by Covid 19 precautions is wearing on everyone in one way or another I think. Add to that the fact that I live in a very rural, very Conservative Christian area where I have to hide my witchy ways. Knowing full well just how many people in my life would utterly abandon me if they knew about Loki and my true beliefs. I can't talk about Him to well anyone besides my oldest and there are things about being a godspouse you wouldn't want to discuss with your kid. I used to have my husband but now talking to him about the most mundane things is a cross between walking on eggshells and navigating a mine field. I got lonely, really lonely.

Against my better judgement I decided to dip my toe back into the Lokean Community after walking away from all the groups, blogs, message boards ect in about 2013. So about 7 years as a solitary Lokean witch and I was ready to test the waters again.

I found a Lokean on social media (I don't want to draw any negative attention to this person because they are doing a fantastic job with what they are doing) so much of what they were saying resonated with me and I wanted to talk. Hey maybe I could make a friend. I commented maybe a bit too much. I meant no harm I was just excited to talk to someone after so long keeping it all to myself. Well that went spectacularly wrong and I ended up with someone who I'm pretty sure thinks of me as a rival or an enemy now. Loki being Loki was quick to remind me that my ramblings don't offend everyone. I had commented on a completely unrelated post about Him a few days earlier and within hours of the well I fucked up incident I'm reading a post by someone thanking me for talking about how I experience Loki because it resonated with them an affirmed a few things.

Then Loki was like I want you to start talking about me. I want you to rejoin the community. I was like oh hell to the no. Well you can see who won that argument. So here I am hoping I don't come to regret this.

[supersilversleuth]

To Kill, To Die, or, To Live by SuperSilverSpy

Fandoms:DCU, DCU (Comics), Batman - All Media Types

Rating: Teen and Up Audiences

Category: Gen

Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Dick Grayson & Jason Todd, Dick Grayson, Jason Todd, Hurt Dick Grayson, Dick Grayson-centric, Dick Grayson Whump, Whump, Dick Grayson Needs a Hug, I have used these tags so much lately, I could probably write them in my sleep, Hurt No Comfort, maybe? - Freeform, I don’t remember writing any comfort…, Hurt, Angst, Jason Todd is a good bro, usually, sometimes?, idk - Freeform, he wants to be a good bro in this fic, Possession, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Whumptober 2021, SuperSilverSpy, SilverGrayson

Summary:

Red Hood showed up in the Batcave after helping out with a quick op one night. Everyone seemed to be looking at him with distrust and suspicion, even though he’d just helped them out. Everyone except Dick, of course, who offered him a tight smile, but whose expression was otherwise unreadable.

Kill kill kill...Dick Grayson shall die...

“What? Why the oh so serious faces?” Jason’s voice drawled.

OR Jason wakes up one morning, and there’s a voice in his head screaming for the death of one Dick Grayson

No. 4 - TRUST FALL “Do you trust me?” | taken hostage | pushed

Published: 2021-10-04 Completed:2021-10-04 Words: 3091 Chapters: 3/3

Chapter One: To Kill

It happened out of the blue one day.

Jason woke in a cold sweat, but he didn’t immediately sit up in bed. In fact, he didn’t move at all. He just stared up at his ceiling, a single thought running through his head, a single emotion coursing through his veins.

Dick Grayson must die.

Distantly, a part of him felt appalled at the notion, but most of him was running with it. Anger clouded his mind but it was unlike any he’d ever felt before. It was different, colder somehow, not like the usual searing heat of pit madness.

He heard a new voice in his head spewing insults about the Golden Boy left and right. Some felt familiar, as if taken from Jason’s own mind. Most of them were new, and he did his best to ignore the most unsavory ones.

He didn’t actually hate Dickface, did he? N—

Jason sat up, and began preparing for the day ahead of him. Put bread in the toaster, remember the meetings he has with several of his informants— Dick Grayson deserves to die— now that didn’t sound right…what was he thinking about again? Put butter on the toast when it’s done, start eating, think about that case that’s been stumping him lately— take Nightwing hostage —what was that? He does have a pretty busy nightlife… Do the morning’s dishes, brush his teeth, get dressed. He had a drug ring to bust tonight, that’s right. Some scumbags needed a little visit from the esteemed crime lord Red Hood— kill them all— what? N—

Jason went through the rest of his day in a haze. He met with some informants, gave food to some people on the streets. He got everything done quickly and efficiently, he even managed to make time to buy groceries. With every interaction, he acted just like he normally would. His movements were comfortable, voice at just the right level to suit each situation. People seemed easily swayed by him, to do as he asked. And yet...he felt detached somehow, as if watching through someone else’s eyes—someone who acted exactly like him.

He couldn’t bring himself to do anything about it though, couldn’t open his mouth and say something out of character, or just talk to himself when no one was in sight. Distantly, a part of him felt alarmed, something was just off.

Still, he made it through the day just fine. Whatever had been bothering him earlier that morning seemed to fade, and he started to feel as if nothing had changed. And nothing had, right? He didn’t remember anything different between today and yesterday…

Night came, and the Red Hood went out to save the day, or at least crash some a**hats’ day, he wasn’t picky. Everything went to plan too, which made him elated. The bats could say all they wanted about him, but no one could deny his clear skill and competency.

Everything was going well, the drug traffickers were all passed out on the ground and Jason was getting ready to call the police, when it happened.

His thumb withdrew from the call button, burner phone slipping back into his pocket. His hands went instead to his guns, and he felt his body turning, moving towards the unconscious bodies of some of the worst that he’d taken down. Kill. Kill. Kill. Chanted that new voice in his head. Kill them all, they deserve it. Just like Dick Grayson.

What? N—No, that didn’t make sense. Why was—Why was his hand still moving? What was his finger doing on the trigger? Jason didn’t understand. I don’t want to kill them, he thought. He pushed against that voice, that—that presence in his head.

It pushed back .

Jason was left scrambling internally, as he watched his own arm lift and aim. A body lay on the ground, motionless where splashes of crimson decorated the floor.

Jason felt as if he’d been booted out of his own body, like his actions weren’t his to control anymore. He felt sick, but no bile would rise in his throat. No feeling would stir in his stomach. He didn’t understand.

Two bodies, on the ground, it was like he was seeing double, than triple, then several many more. He started to lose count. At one point, he noticed there was a knife in his hand, that his face was twisted in an expression of satisfaction. His hands were covered in blood, and so were his pants. He’d have a hard time washing that out, Jason realized distantly. Death here, death there, death death everywhere, said the voice in his head. He knew he was feeling things, actual emotions. But they didn’t really seem to be there . They were foreign, unfamiliar, not his own. Jason could think of all the synonyms he knew to describe just how out of place the anger and the bloodlust and the malicious satisfaction felt. How out of place he himself felt. Kicked out of his own mind, out of control of his own body.

Even with past experiences in mind control and mind-twisting pits of torture, this still was like nothing he had ever felt before.

—

Jason didn’t know what day it was, what was happening, he just couldn’t tell. He couldn’t seem to keep track . It had been like this ever since the massacre, since he’d fought and lost the battle in his own mind.

Red Hood showed up in the Batcave after helping out with a quick op one night. Everyone seemed to be looking at him with distrust and suspicion, even though he’d just helped them out. Everyone except Dick, of course, who offered him a tight smile, but whose expression was otherwise unreadable.

Kill kill kill...Dick Grayson shall die...

“What? Why the oh so serious faces?” Jason’s voice drawled.

“Those drug traffickers on Monday,” began the big bat himself. Jason’s hand waved as if to wipe it all away. “Lay off it, B. I promise it wasn’t me, alright? I left before whoever murdered them all showed up.” The Replacement was frowning at him, and the Demon brat was scowling his way as well. Bruce thinned his lips, looking at him in that insufferable judgmental way he had. Jason felt himself scoffing, “I don’t owe you fools anything. ”

Please, he thought, this isn’t me. Please, I know it sounds like me but I swear it isn’t. His body went straight for his motorcycle, hopping on and driving away with the squealing of tires.

There are TWO POSSIBLE ENDINGS, the first one is Major Character Death, the second is “everybody lives”

Read the next chapter for tragedy, read the chapter after that for somewhat happy ending

Chapter Two: To Die

“Hey Jay? You alright?”

The prey has fallen into the trap...

Jason felt his head swivel in Dick’s direction, “What are you doing here, Dickface?”

“I don’t know, you just seemed to be acting a little off yesterday. I was just wondering if—”

“I’m fine.” Jason’s voice growled. “And I didn’t kill those people. So there’s nothing for you to report back to ol’ daddy bats up there on his high horse.” Dick scowled briefly, but then his expression smoothed. “I’m not here to spy on you, Jay. And I know it wasn’t you who killed those people.” His brother looked at him steadily, right in the eyes. No! Dick, you have to get away from me, he wants to kill y —

“It wasn’t you,” continued Dick, “It was whatever's controlling you.”

For a moment, Jason panicked. But whoever it was in his head let up quite a bit, and Jason suddenly felt lighter than air. It was like the first taste of water after days in the desert. Like he could finally breathe after an eternity of going without.

“Wha—” Jason stumbled, knees feeling weak. Dick rushed forward, catching him as he fell. “No...N—No, Dick, you can’t be here. ‘m a killer, that thing in my head, it—it wants to—”

“Shh, it’s okay, I’m here.” His hand carded through Jason’s hair. “We’ll figure this out, okay? We’ll figure this out.”

“It…it seems to have left me.” Jason said, voice trembling in awe as he flexed his fingers. It’d been so long…

—

Dick smiled down at his brother.

“It’s okay, Jay.” He said, “It must’ve fled when it realized I knew it was there.”

“How…how did you know, anyways?” Jason asked.

“I just…I had a feeling. You were acting off, and that look in your eye…”

“Thanks, Dick,” his little brother replied, but then his voice changed, sounding almost…fearful? “Did you hear that?”

“Hear what?” He asked, straining his ears, “I don’t—”

There was a loud roar and the sound of large, stomping feet. Dick frantically looked around, noticing as shadows creeped in from underneath the door. The air was charged with magic, power flowing throughout the room.

“It’s back,” whispered Jason, clutching Dick’s arm, “we should run.”

“Yeah,” Dick said, as if in a daze, “let’s go.”

It seemed so surreal, the supernatural monsters bursting through the door. Dick wasn’t sure what surprised him so much about it, he dealt with this kind of thing every other day. It’s just…

“Dickie,” said Jason, pulling him towards the window. “Snap out of it, they’re gaining on us.”

He shook his head, looking back—and yeah, the strange magical creatures were right behind them.

Jason jumped through the window, Dick following closely behind. They fired their grappling guns, arriving on the roof opposite in what felt like the blink of an eye.

“Hurry,” said a voice and—oh, it was Jason. It was coming out of Jason’s mouth, right? It must be Jason’s. “We should go that way.”

Dick looked his little brother in the eyes, grounding himself there, before following Jason’s lead as they ran across rooftops.

Dick felt like he was doing everything underwater, but it was…nice. Pretty great actually. He barely even noticed the burn in his legs, or how the monsters chasing them had odd-looking shadows.

Each time he looked back, all he saw was claws and teeth. Masses of fur and strange golden markings.

They paused for breath a few blocks away.

Dick wondered at Jason’s plan. It felt like there was something he should be doing…“Jay? What should we do? Where do we go?”

“That thing in my head seemed afraid of tall places…”

“The—The Wayne Enterprises building.” Dick replied almost immediately.

“Of course,” said Jason, bumping him with his shoulder, “How about a race?”

Dick grinned back at him, “Sure, why not.”

Adrenaline flooded his veins, and for a moment, he almost forgot about the monsters chasing them.

Jason nodded to him, and then they took off, running and jumping, grappling all across the city, heading for the tallest building around. Dick pressed himself to go faster, run harder, jump stronger .

He could see Jason out of the corner of his eye, also going considerably fast.

Jason wasn’t the only one Dick noticed, he also spotted several of them on Jason’s tail. The monsters seemed to move just as fast as they did. He could only hope his little brother could go fast enough to outrun them.

Dick reached the WE building first, skidding to a stop on the roof. Jason arrived soon after.

The monsters gathered a roof away, preparing to jump.

“I—I don’t understand, I thought you said they wouldn't follow us up here.” Dick looked at Jason, searching for answers in his expression.

His little brother’s features were soft, his eyes glittered with something strange and otherworldly. His voice was smooth and heavy with something familiar… “It’s okay, I have a plan, but there’s no time. Dick, do you trust me?”

“Of course I trust you, Little Wing.”

Darkness creeped up along the edges of the building, sliding onto the roof. Claws scraped against the ground, glowing gold eyes began to surround them. There was a single opening, a small bit of edge that had nothing on it.

Jason smiled, grabbing Dick’s grapple gun. And then pushed him off the roof.

Dick Grayson fell over 1,000 feet to the ground, all the while believing his brother would catch him.

Above, on the roof of Wayne Tower, Jason Todd’s eyes flashed gold.

Chapter Three: To Live

“Hey Jay? You alright?”

The prey has fallen into the trap...

Jason felt his head swivel in Dick’s direction, “What are you doing here, Dickface?”

“I don’t know, you just seemed to be acting a little off yesterday. I was just wondering if—”

“I’m fine.” Jason’s voice growled. “And I didn’t kill those people. So there’s nothing for you to report back to ol’ daddy bats up there on his high horse.” Dick scowled briefly, but then his expression smoothed. “I’m not here to spy on you, Jay. And I know it wasn’t you who killed those people.” His brother looked at him steadily, right in the eyes. No! Dick, you have to get away from me, he wants to kill y —

“It wasn’t you,” continued Dick, “It was whatever's controlling you.”

For a moment, Jason panicked. But whoever it was in his head let up quite a bit, and Jason suddenly felt lighter than air. It was like the first taste of water after days in the desert. Like he could finally breathe after an eternity of going without.

“Wha—” Jason stumbled, knees feeling weak. Dick rushed forward, catching him as he fell. “No...N—No, Dick, you can’t be here. ‘m a killer, that thing in my head, it—it wants to—”

“Shh, it’s okay, I’m here.” His hand carded through Jason’s hair. “This thing is here to test me Jay, I didn’t have a choice. I know you didn’t either, and I am so, so sorry for that Little Wing. We’ll figure this out, okay? We’ll figure this out.”

Jason opened his mouth to reply, when suddenly the presence was back, the voice along with it. Jason could feel his consciousness collapsing back, dissociating once again. He vaguely registered as one of his hidden daggers was swiftly drawn, and pressed harshly against Dick’s neck.

“Do you trust me?” asked Jason’s voice, a smirk spread across his face.

The question was meant to be mocking, but Dick answered seriously, “Of course, I know you’re still in there, Jay. I trust you.”

—

They stood on the roof of the WE building. Whoever was controlling Jason had used his strength to give Dick a good beating, and sent a picture of the aftermath to the bats. It was only a matter of time before they showed.

“One as special as Dick Grayson, must be able to trust at least one member of his family. Jason Todd is least likely to accept this trust, which makes my job so much easier. I look forward to his death,” said Jason’s voice while they waited.

Dick, all tied up, sporting a black eye and what were likely bruised ribs—grinned like a maniac. “I recognized your presence, didn’t I? I could tell there was something off with him, you nasty little f***er. You may think you chose your victim well, but you’re making a big mistake—Jay will pull through for me, and you will be torn away as if it were nothing.”

Wow, Dick just sounded so—so confident in Jason’s ability to do whatever it was he was supposed to do. Jason wasn’t sure he’d be able to overpower this thing, let alone destroy it.

“The rest of your so-called family will arrive any minute now, will you weep at their demise?”

Dick scowled, “The rules that you are bound to state that you can’t kill any of my loved ones before me.”

“I may not be able to kill them, but I’ve been doing this awhile, and I know all the loopholes to this little game.”

Behind them, the bats touched down on the roof. Jason felt himself turn to face them. It seemed that Bruce, Tim, Damian, and Steph all showed up for the party.

“Here to save your favorite Golden child?”

“What do you want?” Demanded Bruce, stoic as ever.

They never cared about you , none of them do. Hissed the voice in his head. Nobody trusts you

Nobody trusts you , Jason thought back at it, you murderous lying b****** .

It chuckled, ah, but it is not my face I’m wearing. It’s your's.

Outloud, Jason’s voice addressed the bats, “This is the price you pay for not trusting me, for letting Dick down. You didn’t even notice there was something different about him, did you? You didn’t even notice when Jason Todd was no longer Jason Todd.”

Bruce and Dick were the only ones who didn’t look confused at the words. Dick, because he seemed to know what was going on, and Bruce, because he was, well, Bruce. Batman’s face was as stoic as ever.

Jason felt his face twist into something surely ugly and murderous-looking.

Power surged through him, coming from seemingly nowhere. But Jason could feel it at his fingertips, being pushed into him and pulled out, he had no control over its course. The air around him became charged with magic, and then the bats were engulfed in a bright, golden light.

A moment later, Jason's eyes opened to find that all four of them were frozen in various positions and turned into a shiny golden color, standing still like statues.

The look of horror on Dick’s face hurt to look at, when Jason felt himself turn back to the man.

Quickly, Dick’s expression turned to that of anger, “What did you do to them?” he seethed. “Turn them back!”

“It’s too late, Dick Grayson. Once you are dead, your family will remain this way forever.”

Jason’s arms reached out, grabbing Dick and picking him up.

His feet took him to the edge of the roof, holding Dick out over the ground far, far below.

“J—Jay, listen to me, you can fight this. I know you can. You’re still in there, I believe in you.”

“Alright, that’s enough.” Jason watched as he dropped his brother over the edge.

Time seemed to stop.

No! He thought, pushing back as hard as he could against that malicious presence in his mind. Jason pictured Dick’s face, looking at him sincerely, a bead of blood forming where Jason’s own knife grazed his throat. “I trust you ,” he’d said.

Jason followed him over the edge before he even knew what he was doing. Shooting out his grapple instinctively, cutting through the air rapidly as he fell.

This is going to hurt , he thought, as he set himself on a collision course with Dick, but I think we’ll live.

[sheerfreesia007]

You’re Absolutely Terrifying

Title: You’re Absolutely Terrifying

Fandom: Teen Wolf

Pairing: Stiles Stilinski x Reader

Author: @sheerfreesia007​​

Words: 1,875

Warnings: Fluff, Injury, Cursing

Teen Wolf Tag List: @linkpk88​, @pure-ghost​

Permanent Tag List: @paintballkid711​, @fioccodineveautunnale​, @phoenixhalliwell​, @synystersilenceinblacknwhite​

Author Notes: Yay some Teen Wolf fic! This one was inspired by the Cinderella gif below. I love me some Stiles! Feedback is always welcome and appreciated! I hope you enjoy!

Gif Credit: Google

         Soft music was playing in the background as you lay on top of Stiles’ bed going through old books on ritualistic killings, different books laid out on the bedspread around you opened up to different pages as you wrote anything you came across that sounded promising in your notebook. Your eyes widened slightly at the drawings that were in the book you were currently looking at. They showed depictions of the actual killings and you quickly turned the page over to curb the bile rising in your stomach.

         “You alright over there?” Stiles asks as he moves to sit on the floor in front of the bed next to where your face is. You lift your head to look at him and smile softly. 

         “Yeah totally. I normally spend my Friday nights researching ritualistic killings and staring at horrific depictions of those killings.” you respond sarcastically with a grin and Stiles scoffs at you softly as he rolls his eyes.

         “You and me both.” he quips back and you laugh softly as you tilt your head at him.

         “For some reason I can’t tell if you’re serious or not.” you say curiously and he grins over at you as he gets the book he’s looking through situated on his lap. You can feel your heart fluttering in your chest at his grin and the way his eyes follow you closely. Ever since you met Stiles back in the third grade he’s been one of your best friends, the other being Scott McCall. And once Scott was bitten by Peter and developed his werewolf problem you and Stiles have been beside him step by step. You and Stiles were the research gurus of the little trio you formed. While Stiles was more the detective you were more the librarian of the two. Stiles had been quite impressed by how easily it was for you to be able to find information on any topic and how quickly you were able to research it and take notes that helped him and Scott.

         And while you were a key asset to the two young men in your life, there was just something about the way they viewed you you wished would change. Especially with Stiles. For the longest time you had been harboring the hugest crush on him and unfortunately he didn’t seem to reciprocate it.

         “Ha, ha, ha. You got jokes huh?” Stiles says as he peers over the bed at the book that you’re looking at.

         “Only for you Stilinski.” you quip back at him and the grin that falls on his face is almost blinding. You blush softly and look back down at the book you’re researching and begin to get lost in the words and knowledge it stores. You’re so deep into your reading that you don’t come out of it until you see Stiles stand up from his spot on the floor. He’s frowning as he looks towards his open bedroom door. You tilt your head at him curiously wondering what he’s doing when you hear it, the sound of floorboard creaking is heard from downstairs. Your eyes snap over to Stiles and see him already moving to the bedroom door. “Stiles? Wait!” you called out as you tried to scramble off the bed. 

         Slipping in the blanket on his bed you fell to the floor with a crash, slamming your shoulder into the floor with a groan. You tried to get to your feet quickly but it wasn’t quick enough as you saw Stiles grab the metal baseball bat at the side of his door and then quickly rushed out shutting the door behind him. Your eyes widened as you heard the soft click and knew that he locked you in by way of that stupid little keyhole that he never got replaced. Who in their right mind would still have a door with a keyhole? 

         “Stiles! No wait!” you cried out as you finally got to your feet and got to the bedroom door. You desperately tried to open it tugging on the door knob to no avail. You slammed your closed fist into the door and screamed loudly in frustration. Panic was quickly consuming your body and you tried to tame it but the thought that he had just gone out there with any protection besides a bat was fueling the panic. “Stiles! Please! Come back! You have to come back!” you screamed as your fist kept pounding on the door.

         Suddenly you heard a crashing noise from downstairs and the panic, desperation and fear that was slowly trying to choke you was now drowning you. You screamed as loudly as you could and kept slamming your fist against the door. Suddenly you remembered his window rushing over to it you quickly unlatched it and slid it open. In your hurried panic state you had already gotten one leg over the windowsill before you heard the lock click on the door and the door slowly opened.

         Your brain wasn’t thinking as you slid your leg back into the room and rushed the door. Slamming it closed on whoever was on the other side you heard their groan and you used that to your advantage as you whipped the door open and cocked back your arm letting your fist fly. Your fist connected with a face and when you looked up you stared wide eyed at Isaac Lahey who was now groaning and holding his bleeding nose. Chest heaving you tried to make sense of what you were looking at and Isaac just stared at you in shock.

         “What the fuck!?” he snapped suddenly and you shook your head quickly.

         “Where’s Stiles?” you asked in a rush and Isaac looked over his shoulder.

         “Downstairs with Scott.” Isaac answered.

         “Sorry for breaking your nose. You’ll heal. I have to go kill someone though.” you said without any breath as you pat Isaac on the chest and moved around him. He stood there for a moment still holding his hand over his nose before he whipped his head to your retreating form.

         “You have to what?!” he called as he chased after you. 

         You were breathing heavily with emotion as you processed that if Isaac and Scott were here then Stiles was safe. All of your emotions were still coursing through you and you tried to slow your breathing but it wasn’t working. He had left you to go do something stupid. You could have lost him because of his stupidity. Tears began to pool in your eyes as your thoughts raced and you made your way down the stairs. 

         Scott stood with Stiles in the living room watching over someone who laid on the ground with their hands tied behind their back. Scott noticed you first as his head snapped over to look at you. You could hear Isaac coming down the stairs behind you but your main focus was on the tall gangly young man who was just hanging up his phone. You didn’t think as you moved and before Scott could grab you you had shoved Stiles up against the wall as your breathing picked up again.

         “Whoa!” Stiles said shocked as his back hit the wall and you pointed a finger in his face.

         “Shut up Stilinski! I am so close to murdering you it’s not even funny.” you snapped at him and watched as his eyes widened. His hands slowly came up in a gesture of surrender and you released him so that you could begin to pace. Scott and Isaac stood close by but gave you room to process through whatever it was that was going on with you. “Did you even think before you acted just now? Was it really worth it to go against this idiot by yourself?!” you asked rhetorically as you paced. Your hands flew in the air as you asked each question and when you looked over at Stiles with a sharp turn of your head you saw him watching you silently. 

         You took him in quickly and saw that he had a bruise forming on his right cheek bone and what looked like a cut under his left. But for all intents and purposes he looked like he was going to be okay. You shook your head as tears began to pool in your eyes again as you stood and stared at him. His body jolted away from the wall when he saw the tears in your eyes.

         “You left me up there when I could’ve helped you.” you cried to him as you flung your arms out from your body. “It’s you and me Stiles, we have to have each others’ backs! We don’t have the supernatural gifts that the others have.” Tears began to fall from your eyes and you watched as Stiles began to approach you. “I thought the absolute worst was happening to you because you decided to play hero. I-” you began to say and suddenly gasped as your mind raced with your horrifying thoughts. “I thought I was losing you.” you finished softly as Stiles came to stand in front of you his amber eyes gazing at you softly as his arms came up and hugged you close.

         “You’ll never lose me.” he promised softly as he held you close.

         “I fucking hope not you asshole.” you grumbled out to him as you buried your face in his chest and hugged him tightly. “I’m pretty sure I’d do worse than give Isaac a bloody nose if I lost you.” You heard Stiles chuckle softly as he rested his chin on your head and pulled in closer.

         “I didn’t know I meant that much to you.” he confessed softly to you and you pulled back with a jerk glaring up at him.

         “I love you dickhead. I’m in love with you. Of course you mean that much to me.” you snapped at him angrily. Silence fell over the four of you as Stiles stared down at you with adoring eyes. Scott was grinning from ear to ear happy that finally you had said something to his best friend. Isaac was just staring at you like he was terrified of you and kept inching closer to Scott.

         “I’m in love with you too.” Stiles said softly as he leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to your lips. You hummed softly against his lips before pulling away harshly, Stiles lips still hung over your in a pout.

         “I’m still mad at you for being a hero.” you gripped out and Scott laughed loudly making both you and Stiles to smile over at him. Stiles leaned down and brushed his nose against your ear softly.

         “Let me make it up to you.” he whispered into your ear and you titled your head away from him while you looked over at him.

         “Maybe.” you said with a soft smile.

         “Remind me to never piss you off.” Isaac said suddenly as Stiles wrapped his arms around your middle when you turned to face Isaac and Scott. “You’re absolutely terrifying for a human.” he finished and all of you burst into laughter. Stiles leaned down and nuzzled his face into your neck pressing a soft kiss there and you hummed softly again.

[aros001]

Going in blind: Watching season 1 for the first time. Random thoughts.

This show is kind of nice because I have no memories of the original She-Ra show, or even any of He-Man, honestly. I'm not sure if I ever watched the original, so I have no frame of reference for how the series is "supposed" to be. I can just take it and judge it as is.

Of the bat, all I know is that supposedly She-Ra and Catra get together as a romantic couple later, but I'm also a huge My Hero Academia fan and the fandom around me ships every character with every other character, so for all I know that might just be shipper wishful thinking I've been seeing and hearing. Given fandoms for Gravity Falls, Thor, and Supernatural ship even siblings together, I've learned not to trust anything except for what I see in the series for myself.

By the way, this isn't a review, just random thoughts and comments I'm having as I'm going through season 1 for the first time.

Episodes 1 and 2: Right off, I really like Catra's "No duh" response to Adora about the truth of the horde. She knows they've been lying to them and have been doing terrible things, she just doesn't care. If she and Adora play their cards right they could end up being the ones in charge and then they'd have all that power. Not necessarily to make things better but enough to where they could do whatever and live however they want. That's a good build for an antagonist. Not ignorant to the fact what they're doing is wrong, just simply so selfish that they don't care.

Episode 3: It really feels like there was no good reason why Glimmer didn't just outright introduce Adora to her mother and every reason she should have known it was a bad idea to try and hide her for a surprise. Being a former horde soldier she'd probably get treated with hostility if Glimmer brought her to the front gate but you'd almost guarantee Adora would get arrested or outright killed if she got caught while no one else knew she was there.

On the other side, we have Hordak being pretty intelligent in promoting Catra. He probably knows Shadow Weaver already doesn't like him, so it's not like he's losing anything making her upset with him, and it's clear she favors Adora way more than Catra, so that little bit of advancement towards Catra probably goes a long way in earning her loyalty to him and a person on the inside with Shadow Weaver.

Also, I'm not the only one who saw Madam Razz and immediately thought Adora had found her Yoda, right?

Episode 4: I don't know how it was in the original She-Ra and He-Man series but I kind of like She-Ra being this title from legend. Adora is not the first She-Ra, given what Razz was talking about with a Mara, so instead of being something new, impressing everyone with abilities they've never seen before, and creating the legend, Adora is placed in a position WAY over her head where she's having to live up to what came before her.

Episode 5: Calling it now, as long as her personality is genuine I think Scorpia is going to be one of my favorite characters in this show. She's...endearing, I think is the best word. She's like a mix of Kronk and a nicer Shego.

For a little bit I thought Mermista was voiced by the same actress who played Poison Ivy in the Harley Quinn animated series. She's not but they do have the same kind of Daria-ish inflections, thus by confusion. Given the prom episode, Sea Hawk feels kind of like her Kite Man.

Episode 6: Okay, now it's between Scorpia and Entrapta who are likely to be my favorites by the end of this. She's fun and quirky.

Episode 7: Quite the lore drop. Shadow Weaver was once a Mystacor sorceress known as Light Spinner. I like to imagine we'll get more on that later. Her haunting Adora reminded me of the Teen Titans' episode where Robin was similarly haunted by Slade. This didn't go as far as that but that's probably for the best, since TT had two and a half seasons to build that dynamic up with Robin and Slade while we're only now halfway through the first season.

Episode 8: Well dang. Again, I don't know for sure if Adora and Catra do end up together but boy do I buy why they're shipped together after that dance. Also, good on Bow for standing up for himself. It's clear that he'll always be Glimmer's friend and this won't change that but that doesn't mean he has to just accommodate her. I understand where her issues stem from but I am still glad he gave her a reality check. It helps him feel a little more like his own character.

Also, another nice little bit of lore and worldbuilding. Scorpia's a princess, the horde landed where her people lived, and they seemed to join them willingly.

Episode 9: Surprisingly don't have a lot to say about this other than I don't buy for a second that Entrapta is dead (EDIT: She's not). This was mostly action.

Episode 10: Not going to lie, this one kind of annoyed me a little, at least the first half. The conversation between Glimmer and her mother saved it a bit. It was a bit of a trifecta. You have the alliance breaking apart, saying that the loss of Entrapta only happened because they were all together...even though Entrapta only "died" because of her own machine obsession that caused her to deliberately walk back into the purging chamber. You have Entrapta who might be turning to the horde's side because she feels abandoned by the other princesses...even though they thought she was dead, and again it was her fault they got separated. And you have Glimmer refusing to tell her mother that Shadow Weaver's dark magic has caused her powers to go on the fritz and is causing her great pain. It just feels like none of this would be an issue if most of these people would stop being self-absorbed for three seconds and talk like any normal person would. It feels very CW drama, like something I'd see in a bad season of Arrow or The Flash. The only person whose issues I buy is Adora, who is basically a soldier who was never properly raised to deal with emotion or loss and is already struggling with the burden of being She-Ra, the legendary savior. I get why she's beating down on herself for not being able to do more even if nothing that happened was her fault.

Episode 11: JEEEEEEEEEZZZZ, that was such a good episode! Focused entirely on Adora and Catra and their past together. Like, just showing someone this episode alone could probably get them to want to watch the series. That was everything you needed to know about their dynamic and history together.

Also, that moment when Catra and her past self are looking at each other, while obviously Catra takes the opposite lesson, it reminded me of this fanart I'd once seen of Jason Todd, the Red Hood, looking at his past self as Robin. The past says to the future "You ruined everything". Catra could be happy but, ironically for someone who hates Shadow Weaver, she's probably going to be a lot like her, sacrificing everything for power and ambition.

Given the way she looked, I'm guessing Shadow Weaver is either addicted to the power of the Black Garnet or she suffered some kind of past injury and its power is the only thing keeping her going. Or both.

Episode 12: I'll be honest, Swiftwind being able to talk kind of gobsmacked and I needed a moment to recover. What a great voice they chose for that character.

So She-Ra is kind of like the legendary heroes from Rising of the Shield Hero, coming from a long line of people chosen to wield the sword. I tend to dislike chosen one types of stories because I think prophecy takes a lot of weight out of the character's actions, so this and Avatar are more what I like. The MC is special but not the only one who's ever been special and they can still easily fail. Their destiny was only to be able to use the weapon, not that they would succeed in any specific purpose.

And dang, Catra's turn against Shadow Weaver happened faster than I thought it would but I'm not complaining. That great "This is what you've really been preparing me for" speech and Hordak, again, being an intelligent villain. "Oh, this experiment could net me a MASSIVE gain and all it could potentially cost me is this rock I already gave away to someone who lately hasn't been producing any results and has been consistently disobeying me. Yeah, I'm going to let this play out."

Episode 13: That was kind of a brutal fight between Adora and Catra. Not the worst I've ever seen even in other shows for this age range (Samurai Jack, for example) but those punches are connecting and those claws are leaving marks.

Also, maybe I'm just misunderstanding the exact situation but shouldn't the good guys' side be called the Resistance instead of the Rebellion? Being a rebellion would imply they are rebelling against an established power or rule over them, but the actual conflict we are shown is the established power and rule that is the kingdoms of Eternia resisting an outside force that wishes to establish a new order over them.

Season 1 verdict: I'm into it. I'm definitely more invested in the villains' side of things but that's not a fault of the series, that stuff is just way more geared towards me than the current princess stuff. I actively am at attention whenever the horde main characters are on screen. For the good guys it's mostly Adora and the She-Ra stuff I'm invested it. That isn't to say I have any real dislikes for that side. Bow especially I'm liking much more than I thought I might. He has kind of this gravitational pull around him. You will be his friend regardless of how much you might want to resist. He's definitely the rock for everyone else to hold onto.

Minor side note, kind of like Korra in Legend of Korra, I love how even when her powers aren't active Adora is shown to still be pretty strong physically with how easily she was lifting people up at the prom.

And I was right, Scorpia is my favorite side character.

On to season 2!

Original Reddit post: https://www.reddit.com/r/PrincessesOfPower/comments/nyll2e/going_in_blind_watching_season_1_for_the_first/

[violetsbaudelaire-archive]

Title: The Cloud That Took the Form of a Demon In My View - Chapter One 

Fandom: Julie and the Phantoms

Relationships: Background Julie Molina/Luke Patterson

Summary: After the death of her mother and the demonic possession of her father, Julie Molina hunts the supernatural with her best friend Flynn. She pursues a nomadic life until a string of suspicious bathtub electrocutions draws her back home to hunt down a ghost. (Supernatural AU)

It had been a 13-month search and nothing had come of it. Nothing pertaining to the being Julie and Flynn were looking for. They had found and removed varying other supernatural beings but not their target, a demon whose name neither girl knew. Julie was sitting at a desk in a cheap hotel, one of many in the months that had passed. She was looking at the odd happenings around the country as she always did hoping to find a lead on their demon. Where one odd occurrence happened, another wasn’t too far behind and demons usually loved to get into trouble. Flynn had gone out to buy fast food breakfast and hadn’t come back yet. It wasn’t long enough to worry most people but it worried Julie. She tried to logic her way out of worry as she scrolled. There’s probably a long line. There’s always a long line to get coffee before work.

Just as she repeated those thoughts to herself again, she found an article. To most, it could be ruled off as an accidental bathtub electrocution. The problem was this was the third this week, all in the same city: her hometown, Los Angeles. She sighed and minimized the page. They were close to Arizona, a little while from LA but they had no intentions of returning. At least, not until the demon inhabiting her father’s body could be found. If the demon even still had it, Julie thought to herself macabrely. She shook it off. Her dad was still alive, full of demon or not. 

The door swung open and caused Julie to jump out of her skin. Her hand instinctively flew to the cross necklace she had started wearing with her other jewelry since her dad’s possession. 

“Sorry I’m late,” Flynn said, balancing a bag of food and a cup holder in her hands, “There was a long line at McDonalds.” 

Julie dropped her hand. 

“Are you okay?” Flynn asked when she saw her friend’s face. She put the food on the table and came closer to Julie. “Was there something in here?” 

Julie shook her head. “You scared me coming in.” 

“Ghosts and demons don’t use doors,” Flynn said matter-of-factly. 

“Yeah, well, someone possessed by them might. Or maybe a witch, vampire, werewolf, or something else.” 

“Anything that comes in here has a death wish. We’re the most badass hunters in America.” 

“Yeah,” Julie said, as if trying to convince herself. Then, she added more confidently, “We are.” 

“Anyway, did’ya find anything?” 

“Yeah. Ghost in LA.” 

“Are you ready to go back there, Jules?” Flynn asked softly. 

“I think so. Besides, it’s been awhile since our last ghost.” 

Flynn didn’t look entirely convinced. “It’s okay to not take this one. Someone else will get it.” 

“No, it’s okay. We won’t be there long.” 

“You’re not going to see your aunt and Carlos?” 

“I’m not ready for that conversation.” 

Flynn nodded. “Are we going after breakfast? Or?” 

“Yeah, after breakfast.” 

Los Angeles was a strange place for Julie. It was her home but it was also the place where she had lost everything she ever had. Returning reminded her of this but also of failure. It reminded her of the empty seats at her graduation. Going home meant she had to accept that her and her little brother were orphans now - not without loved ones but faced with a loneliness that could never end. Julie had to find her father, not just for herself but for Carlos. 

Flynn opened the bag and divvied up their breakfast. Julie pushed her food closer and began to eat, trying to find the bright side of this situation. Flynn was the first to come to mind. Even if the world turned against her, Flynn would be by her side. Her mother, though passed on, was still a bright side. Nothing, not even permanence of death could take her memories of joy and music that they had shared. The possibility of her dad being out there was a bright side. With this in mind, Julie finished her breakfast with her mind more at ease. 

Flynn wasn’t the best driver but she liked to drive nonetheless. Julie was the more capable driver but she was a better navigator. She found it easier to navigate when she wasn’t avoiding drivers worse than Flynn on the road. Being the navigator also meant choosing the music and Julie wanted something upbeat for the road. California had gotten so far from her and Flynn that it would be a day or two before they reached it. It was the longest road trip with few stops they had gone on in awhile. Flynn turned the key in the ignition and Julie scrolled through her playlists. She found a song and selected it just as Flynn pulled out of the parking lot. 

At some point Julie had fallen asleep. She blinked as she took in her surroundings. “Where are we? Flynn, I was supposed to be navigating.” 

“It’s okay. I’m handling it,” said Flynn. “You barely slept at all in the last motel. You needed sleep.” 

“Thanks.” 

After a minute, she added, “I should drive. You need sleep too.” 

Flynn shook her head. “I had a Redbull.” 

Julie gave her friend a look. “Flynn.”

“Okay, okay. I’ll pull over,” Flynn said and she did. Seat belts unbuckled and they switched places. Almost as soon as Julie pulled off the shoulder, Flynn was asleep. Julie looked amusedly at her friend. She drove until the sun rose again and they were just outside Arizona. 

Then it was a quick stop at a gas station to buy a less than satisfactory breakfast. It was time like these Julie missed her mom especially. It was Saturday morning and in a time that was starting to feel like an old movie, she would be watching cartoons with a much younger version of her brother and eating a fresh, hot breakfast her mother had made. 

“I said that’ll be 10.50,” the cashier said irritably. He was the usual sort someone would see at a gas station in the middle of practically nowhere: some old man whose love of life was fading faster than his hair. 

“Sorry,” Julie said quickly, pulling the cash out of her pocket. The cashier checked the money in the light then put it in the register. He slid her breakfast across the counter and asked if she wanted a lottery ticket or a pack of smokes. Yes, he had said ‘smokes.’

Julie made a face and grabbed the black bag her food had been put in. “I don’t smoke, or gamble.” She headed toward the door and added, “Have a nice day” as she went out. He didn’t get the chance to return the formality. Gas station cashiers have a way of making people uncomfortable, even if they do nothing at all. This one was no different. 

Flynn was waiting in the driver’s seat. Julie opened the bag and handed some of the food to her. Neither said anything as they made their way back to the freeway. 

California was a refreshing sight after over a year of navigating unfamiliar places. Los Angeles was especially so. Julie watched the buildings of the Citadel Outlets pass by in the window. She was home. 

The occurrences described in the article had been occurring in a residential part of town made up of mainly middle class families. The victims were disproportionately teens. The types of teens who bring their cell phones into their bathrooms. Julie wasn’t an expert on electricity but these incidents struck her as odd. Not many people got electrocuted in their bathtubs. Based on her Google searches over the past day and a half, a cell phone isn’t enough to electrocute a person in a bath. It has to be plugged into the wall. Then it has to fray or fall into the bathwater. It takes a great deal of stupidity or negligence. Put a ghost in the mix, however, and everything becomes more likely. 

Flynn was checking them into a new motel when the news of a new electrocution came in. This article confirmed Julie’s suspicions of a ghost and made this trip less of a waste of time. Nothing at all had been plugged in when this teen girl had gotten into her tub. Her mother had checked on her only minutes before her death. Then when the police arrived, a frayed extension cord had made its way from a drawer into a socket then into a wall. It was far too strange. And when Julie told Flynn, she agreed. 

Flynn pocketed their room key and they headed for the car. 

Usually Julie and Flynn’s adventures involved abandoned buildings so Julie was unsure what to say when they arrived at the Ford residence. She was too young to be a police officer and too old to be a girl scout. She knocked on the door anyway. 

A distressed middle aged white woman answered the door. “Whatever you’re selling, I’m not buying it.” 

The woman moved to close the door. Flynn interrupted her. “We’re not selling anything, Mrs. Ford, we’re here about your daughter.” 

“It’s Ms. Ford. I’m divorced,” the woman corrected. “And the police were just here.” 

“We’re not police,” Julie said. “We hunt the supernatural. We think your daughter’s death wasn’t an accident.” 

The woman frowned. “I’m desperate but I’m not that desperate. Three boys about your age came around her an hour ago saying the same thing. They said they were looking for a ghost in this neighborhood.” 

“Don’t you think it’s weird four different teens have died the same way in the past week?” 

“Yes,” the woman said. “But teenagers are stupid.” 

“Even your daughter?” 

The woman shrugged. “I don’t believe in ghosts.” 

Ms. Ford went to shut the door again but Flynn stopped her. “Do you know where those boys went?” 

“Something about the junkyard down the road. The blonde one said something about it being a good spot to hide something.” 

“Thank you,” Julie said. “I hope you find answers” - she clutched her cross necklace - “I know what it’s like to lose those you love.” 

Ms. Ford nodded sadly and shut the door. 

“Do you think those boys are trying to find the object the ghost is attached to?” Julie asked Flynn. 

“Yeah,” she said. “But why in a junkyard?” 

“Good place to hide something you don’t want found.” 

By that point, they had made it back to their car and proceeded to get in. 

Then, it was off to the junkyard.