#i don't usually like to reveal too much personal stuff about myself but. these questions are pretty harmless

[cantuscorvi]

GET TO KNOW THE MUN.

what’s your phone wallpaper : "Salamander" by Yoshitaka Amano last song you listened to : Gold and Bones by Friday Pilots Club currently reading : There is a copy of The Brothers Karamazov languishing on my night stand for months that i'm shamefully yet to open. That counts, right? last show : The Sandman what are you wearing right now : Dark red trousers, an FF8 t-shirt, and a black shirt piercings / tattoos? : my ADHD ass has had my ears pierced in the exact same place 3 times, but they are closed and will probably remain that way glasses ? contacts? : nope, my eyes are good last thing you ate? : pepper lunch (japanese beef rice on a hotplate) favorite color(s) : mint green do you have a crush right now? : does it still count as a crush if it's been 7 years? favorite fictional character : (rolling out my list of killer blonds, sad old men, and little freaks) erwin smith (snk, character of all time tbh), kakashi (naruto), kotetsu kaburagi (tiger & bunny), james t kirk (star trek), will graham (hannibal), Magneto (x men), Quina Quen (ffix), Auron (ffx), Ocelot (MGS), Phosphophyllite (Houseki no Kuni), Ebisu (Dorohedoro) and of course. ALL OF THE WONDERFUL CHARACTERS WRITTEN BY MY FRIENDS

About the Writer

Favorite time of year: Summer Comfort food: i'm gonna be basic and say ice cream Favorite desserts: tiramisu is good Things you collect: I collect daruma and things with piske & usagi on them. Favorite drink: iced tea (chinese/taiwanese/thai kind) Favorite musical artist: honestly it depends on the day of the week. But ones that always slap; Ghost, Arctic Monkeys, IDKHOW, The Happy Fits, Fall Out Boy, Caravan Palace, Daft Punk, Eve, Saint Motel, MAMAMOO Last song you listened to: Fireside by Arctic Monkeys Last movie you watched: John Wick 4 @ cinema Last series you watched: The Sandman Series you’re currently watching: True Blood, Hell's Paradise (anime) Current obsession: Planet Zoo and the growing urge to chop all my hair off Dream place to visit: Japan, Switzerland A place you’ve been that you want to go back to: Italy Something you want: my inspiration to return from war Currently working on: absolutely nothing bc lately my brain is mashed potato

tagged by: @nezumivc103221 & @distopea

[imagineitdearies]

not a Perfect Slaughter question but Astarion one. you remember that scene in goblin camp where a Loviatar priest and PC can do an impromptu bdsm session? Astarion's reaction always confused me. he seems to be strangely into it for a person who experienced a lot of non consensual sex with physical violence sprinkled on top. like yes, he could be faking it (it's act 1 after all) but he gives a lot of approval points for it.

is it just a case of him being his usual gremlin self? or is he more amenable to the show now when he isn't the one on the receiving end of a whip? also at this point in a game i doubt he cares too much for PC (reminds me abt his remark "i don't like seeing you hurt" or smth along the line).

and more generally, what do you think is his stance on pain play and d/s stuff in the bedroom? anyway would like to hear your musings on this, ciao <3

Hey anon!

I'm no Astarion expert compared to some in this fandom, but this is a scene I've thought a lot about the implications of myself so I'll offer my two (very long-winded) cents. I'd love to hear others' thoughts as well!

I agree that Astarion's big approvals should be isolated to the context of when in the game he's giving them. Based on his smaller approval points in Act I, when Astarion starts out this journey he seems to like watching people get treated how he once was. Just a few really early examples:

Tav* making Lae'zel say please (Astarion begging Cazador)

Tav making Zorru bow (Astarion having to bow in Cazador's presence)

Tav prodding Nettie's injured bird till it dies (Godey flashbacks)

Tav telling Mayrina's brothers they won't help (no one ever helping Astarion)

Tav terrorizing Lorin/entertaining his delusions (☹)

So we could argue Astarion is just leaning into this sadistic trauma response in the Loviatar scene as well. He finds satisfaction, however temporary, in seeing others endure what he once had to, and reassuring himself that he's on the winning/powerful/in control side this time. AKA not the weak pathetic person he feels like he was before. The self-loathing is subtle, but not far under the surface.

Considering he often disapproves of Tav being self-sacrificing and weak in other instances, however (usually when it's on behalf of others), why does he highly approve in this certain instance of Tav submitting to pain and injury for seemingly no good reason?

I think the timing of this scene in Act I makes a big difference, considering it's deep in the goblin camp where the party is usually at least a couple levels into their adventure. So in that case, Tav is the established leader, Astarion's vampiric nature is revealed, and they've survived quite a few encounters together already. Some trust has been built. Astarion is more assured of Tav's strength, competency, and willingness to keep him in the group....but that assurance of Tav's strength could be crossing over to feeling unsafe again.

There's plenty of other chaotic, less-sadistic things that he likes (BAAAA!), but almost** all of his big +5 or +10 approvals come from Tav agreeing to something that makes Astarion feel safe and/or powerful. So perhaps Astarion wants Tav to say yes to the Loviatar pain ritual because he views it as a show of strength. He might feel safer knowing that his leader can not only handle pain, but is so entirely unafraid as to welcome it even in the midst of a dangerous goblin camp--something Astarion's 'weak' past self never would have done (cue the self-loathing again).

Based on how eager he sounds when encouraging Tav, though ("don't you dare say no!"), I like to think that he's playing it off as sexual but in reality wants to assure himself he's not with another Cazador. While Astarion is likely to follow Tav regardless, I think he's more interested in being intimate with Tav--if he hasn't already--after seeing that Tav is okay with not always being in charge and assertive, in control. I think, especially at the start, Astarion craves control after not having it for so long, and this kinky display tells him Tav wouldn't mind him taking over for a little while.

Which, at last, gets us to your question about Astarion's views on "pain play and d/s stuff in the bedroom." I think it's telling that Astarion has a +5 approval during the first sex scene if Tav rolls over and lets him bite, and no matter which final romance scene you end up with in Act III, he's depicted as the top. If he ascends, he quickly jumps into what I'd call a permanent d/s dynamic with spawn!Tav where's he's the one in control, made all the more evident with the new kissing animations for patch 6. Plenty of implications to be had, about his preferences.

Now (and these are entirely my headcanons/opinions from here on out), Astarion just isn't in a place for what I'd consider actual healthy d/s dynamics in the bedroom during or immediately after the game timeline, as his mindset is too rooted in fear, self-loathing, and desperate grabs for control. It's been days, weeks at most since he was tortured and controlled on the regular--a lot of this stuff could be triggers and provoke flashbacks, or at the least reinforce the idea in his head that sex is a tool of manipulation and control. Truly safe, sane and consensual d/s acts just don't seem on the table--he goes through a period of not wanting sex at all, much less intimacy where so much trust is required.

But post-game, with enough time? I could see spawn!Astarion*** eventually enjoying some light bdsm in either role, maybe pain play beyond bites if he was the one giving, not receiving the pain. Which all could be a healing experience for him, with trust and aftercare involved. He wouldn't make it on my list of 'top three kinkiest companions' though 😂

Anyways, this is all very much my personal opinion!! Astarion is a fascinating character with so much nuance, there's endless ways to interpret him. And maybe he was just feeling extra chaotic and kinky that day 🤷‍♀️ "Ah, drink it in - that sweet, sweet chaos. Not that I approve of goblins, of course - filthy little beasts - but I do like a good den of debauchery."

Thanks for the question anon. If nothing else, I hope these ramblings entertained! 💙

*Tav represents Tav, Dark Urge, and origin characters in this post

**The one exception that I can think of is the +5 approval for letting him interrupt during the bugbear/ogre scene. Chaos gremlin indeed.

***Ascended!Astarion's characterization and lore is just a bit too inconsistent and vague (in my opinion, of course) for me to analyze a future for. Press (x) to doubt that he can eventually practice safe, healthy bdsm on the side with spawn!Tav while he does his evil stuff and tries to take over the world, but maybe??? Lol he doesn't make sense to me.

[rotiaftermath]

ur url is rotiaftermath, but i don't think i've seen any headcanons from you about how a roti aftermath would actually work or happen... so do you have any? Im so curious!

IM SO GLAD YOU ASKED IVE THOUGHT ABOUT THIS A GOOD AMOUNT

Ok so

-staci aftermath host. Yeah I think in universe they’d keep Brigette and Geoff (and maaaaybe blaineley) for like nostalgia/gen 1 fan bait but also. New gen new host. Also also staci deserves to have a character dammit

-Dakota would be annoyed at Staci becoming the host and I think it would cement her decision to return to the island

-gen 1 would come back as the peanut gallery

-I think overall the format would be similar to the aftermaths of action and wt but I would also include a segment where the peanut gallery is asked their opinion about the interviewed contestant and predictions for the competition for that sweet gen 1/gen 2 interaction

-for an Overarching Aftermath Plot™️ we’d focus on Staci and her loneliness. She agreed to be aftermath host so she’d have a chance to connect to/befriend the other contestants and past contestants

-while I don’t think the producers would go through the truth or whatever segments again I think they’d use Staci’s desperation to connect to others to get her ask crueler hard hitting questions to prove her worth or whatever (people value honesty after all. Who would want to befriend a liar? She’s gotta prove she’s more than that)

-I think Bridgette and Geoff would try to steer her to y’know. Not Do That but in her insecurity she’d end up thinking its proof that she’s not good enough and end up doubling down on it

-Dawn would too for that matter but she also has a tendency to say too much and staci would interrupt/talk over her so she wouldn’t reveal her lying and shit and inadvertently shoot her attempts down

-I think either a. someone would give her a taste of her own medicine and see how she likes being interrogated or b. She would accidentally step on a land mine and make someone cry (probably someone everyone likes like brick or someone who’s seen as too tough to cry like Anne Maria) and realize how much a dick she was being and apologize and admit she just wanted friends. And she would get some

For actual interview shenanigans:

-B’s interview would involve at least part of the time dedicated to try and get him to talk. This would inevitably fail

-I mentioned some of the Dawn stuff but someone (probably Noah but I could see Duncan or Heather doing it too) would interrupt and call her aura reading bullshit. Naturally she would reveal something personal and embarrassing about them

-Sam would be the most satisfied with his time on roti to the point where the usual frustrations about Scott don’t come up and naturally his crush on Dakota would be brought up and how they didn’t get together but at this point (iirc) he got her number so he’s chill with that to

-dual brick/Anne Maria interview. They would get the same questions and their answers would naturally contrast each other especially since brick would ultimately accept his elimination while Anne Maria would be frustrated about hers

-dakotazoid would not get asked many of the hard hitting questions because no one wants to make the ten foot tall mutant with super strength mad buuuut she’d be surprisingly satisfied with her time there albeit pissed off at Chris for making her an intern and sending her into the mine in the first place

-Sam would be in her lap the whole time (yes this deserves its own bullet point)

-Mike’s interview would involve the system interjecting with their own thoughts about their time there and Mike would be more accepting and not frustrated about it also wouldn’t be able to help myself and would probably throw something in about him being disappointed about what happened with Scott and give it some homoerotic undertones teehee

-there would be some closure on the vitomaria shit. But that might not be completely resolved until Zoey’s interview because ideally Anne Maria and Vito would date but Zoey would need to be in the loop for that

-Jo’s interview is one I could really see the role reversal stuff happening if Staci’s plot line went that route but regardless she would begrudgingly admit she’s proud of Cameron

-Scott… sighs fang mauling him would likely be retconned so he could have an interview. Also because that shit sucked ass

-for the actual contents of the interview this is another one I could see the role reversal stuff happening. Or have everyone he eliminated go to town on him that would be fun too

-Zoey’s… I’m not too sure about. Would make her be really frustrated at a stupid jock getting her out and hate Lightning though

I think that’s all I have??? Thanks a ton for the ask!!

[seaweedbraens]

Saw a recent ask of yours about percabeth was sidelined during BoO and totally agree. I've read all of WCWSTHWAS and I think you did a better job than rick at giving the new AND old characters their time to shine. What's your opinion on the new and old characters and their "screentime" through the series?

VERY interesting question - and thank you for the compliments! personally, i am struggling in my own fic to give every character their Moment. i think jason and piper got theirs, and hazel, leo, and frank will get theirs next chapter. i feel like percabeth's getting all the attention overall ahahaha, but i can't stop myself. i JUST LOVE THEM SO MUCH-

hoo is an interesting series. it's very hard to balance a story like that because the way rick did it, he introduced a new cast of characters while keeping the older fan faves (percy & annabeth) still VERY pivotal to the main plot. with this structure, he had the hard task of keeping the new characters fresh and interesting, while also having to make sure that he doesn't do a complete disservice to percy and annabeth, who are already well-known and incredibly loved within the fandom.

it's HARD. i am struggling with it right now, and i have a lot of respect for rick for accomplishing it (partially). i know i criticize rick a lot, but he hit a perfect balance with the first three books of hoo. tlh gave us good stuff from jason, leo, and piper with the PERFECT sprinkling of percy mentions and annabeth acting as a support. the son of neptune gave us all the percy content we were missing + 2 new characters with GREAT origin stories. the mark of athena gave us annabeth. and percabeth. need i say more?

the next two books are FUCKED. rick tried to give hazel her moment, but she is completely overshadowed by percabeth in tartarus. frank gets magicked hot and loses me entirely. leo went from being my favorite new character to my least favorite with the addition of calypso. idk what piper does, and jason is just a vehicle to show off the new favorite - nico. and then rick adds in the nico reveal, which, okay?? i personally was never THAT invested in nico, and his coming out (which is incredible for the lgbtqia+ community, not denying that) came out of left field, didn't align with what we saw of him in pjo, and his coming out itself was forced. literally. which left me feeling...super off about it. if he was gonna come out, it should have at least been his choice.

my point is: the house of hades has SEVEN POVs, a HUGE step up from the usual three, which is...a choice. percabeth (and to some extent hazel) gets the spotlight. the lost hero trio doesn't really get too much screentime other than leo meeting calypso, so why did we get ALL OF THEIR povs? and then...nico is thrust into the spotlight?? why???? we already have 7 characters to focus on. why did we need another? a mess.

and then, in the blood of olympus, we get...five povs. jason, leo, and piper, and...reyna and nico?? MAKE IT MAKE SENSE. i did not give ONE FUCK about the journey back to camp with the athena parthenos, and even if it was necessary, why did we need BOTH reyna and nico's povs? at the MOST we just needed one. i HATED leo's new lovestruck ramblings. and the characters that we had grown up with, percy and annabeth, were shafted on a whole new level. i don't remember frank and hazel getting much time to shine either. it's offensive. it's genuinely offensive.

with those last two books, rick completely shatters the balance he spent the first three books doing VERY well. with the last two books, i lose complete sight of who the fuck to care about within the new cast of characters, and so the only ones i DID end up caring about were the ones i cared about all along: percy and annabeth! and what happens to them? they are completely wasted in the final book. after tartarus, we needed one of their povs to know that they were okay, and we got none of that. yeah, NO.

i know i went the fuck off on this and i didn't mean to, i swear! it just gets me so angry, because rick just...was not making good choices towards the latter half of the series. his choice to include percy and annabeth in an important role in the new series was to keep the old audience hooked while still attracting a new one, and he completely botched it. if he was going to make them lynchpin characters, he should have given them the respect they deserve in the final book. if he wasn't going to use them, he should have just left them in supporting roles, the way he did in toa. you can't get both, and i think hoo proves that.

in the end, none of the characters got a satisfying ending (imo), other than maybe nico (LOL), and the audience isn't fuckin happy. or maybe they are, and i'm just an old bitter grandma in her rocking chair screaming about things long forgotten.

(a very late disclaimer: this is all just my opinion. you can disagree with me, and that's cool!)

[gt-jar]

About your recent post, I first wanna say that I’ve been obsessed with Two Worlds Among the Stars ever since I first discovered it, and even if chapter 8 is a filler episode I’m sure myself and many others will still love it!

I don’t have too many ideas, but something I’d like to see in the next chapter is Noah’s true feelings starting to shine through, even if just barely. Maybe Noah could begin to realize that he can trust John, even if he doesn’t realize that he realized it yet (that probably makes no sense but I’m not sure how else to phrase it lol). It makes sense (to me at least) for it to be a chapter of slow new beginnings. Some of the stuff I mentioned might work well as a focus for chapter 9, so chapter 8 could be leading up to it.

Also, I completely understand the frustrations that come with having no idea what to write for the next part in a series, it can be VERY annoying. I hope you’re able to overcome this though, and good luck on writing the next chapter! I’ll be looking forward to it, even if it takes longer than usual.

Before I get into detail, let me just say that I'm gonna treasure this ask forever. Everytime I read something like this from one of my readers I want to hug that person so bad, because I'm just so thankful.

Like I said in this post, I don't care if my story isn't seen by hundreds of people, literally doesn't matter to me if my story has 20 or 2000 readers. I care about what my readers think of my story (like every writer) and ofc I'd like to know what they think.

So again...

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SENDING ME THIS!

It's a shame that you sent me this as anon (though very understandable), but just so you know... I wouldn't mind seeing you in my dms :)

I also wanna thanks everybody else who left a comment under my last post!

I didn't reply to any of those yet, because here is what I wanna do...

I'm going to list every idea and leave my two cents and... just ramble a bit? You won't believe how much rambling helps when I'm having trouble to write a chapter.

1. Anon:

When it comes to writing the change in Noah's (and John's) character, I like to sorta... sprinkle in little pieces of those changes. Like Noah secretly yearning for affection in chapter 7.

And I think that's exactly what chapter 8 is missing, because in chapter 9 (and the one after that) there's going to be a major shift in Noah's and John's relationship because... stuff happens and things get revealed :) You're in for some sweet hurt/comfort mixed with some fluff. (Super excited to write those two chapters, but being stuck at the one before that aaaaaaahhhhh)

But this shift needs to feel natural. So like you've said Noah's more vulnerable side needs to shine through, but I just... Dont! Know! How! Because while I want/need to sprinkle in one of those small soft moments, it can't be anything major.

For example: Noah yearning for affection -> John figuring that out right away and just giving it to him -> too rushed, doesn't feel natural, boring

So yes everything you've said is true, I just don't know how to write it :')

2. @da3dm:

Someone wandering in and discovering Noah is still alive.

Veeeeeery unlikely. The people from Noah's village don't care about him. He's just another orphan, it's not like they don't have enough of those already. And even if there are some people who took pity on him in the past, they certainly don't care enough to put their on life in danger. All of them "know" what happens when they cross the river, so no one in their right mind is gonna do that anytime soon.

2. @coffehbeans:

John questioning if he is doing the right thing.

Oooohhh boy, trust me John is questioning all of his life choices that led up to this point. He knows their situation is less than ideal, but what other choice does he have? (-> John's pov in chapter 4). He's already going behinds his chief's back by keeping Noah a secret and not immediately informing him about the situation, he won't dig his hole even deeper by bringing the human back and risking that more humans come to his place (or giant territory in general). He's doing damage control, but mostly he's trying to maintain the little control he's left. And let's forget that he's very much sailing uncharted waters.

John encounters someone that will make him question his decision.

I'm curious, who are you thinking of? Because like I said that someone being a human is off the table and a giant standing up for a human? One of John's tribe, that is hiding from Noah's kind? That doesn't care about humanity at best? Most of them might be against killing humans, but that doesn't mean they wanna mingle.

Introducing a character that actually cares about Noah.

I think I need to question all of my writing decisions, if you think John doesn't care :'D

He may not care about Noah on a personal level yet, but he definitely cares about his well-being, even though Noah doesn't get that (yet).

3. @mabelisthebatman:

Someone stops by to visit John.

Let's just say someone is going to visit John (but not in chapter 8), but the situation is not gonna unfold in the way you described. All I'm gonna say is, there can't be comfort without hurt :)

4. @small-but-oho:

John and Noah avoiding each other as much as possible.

Before I start I wanna say how much I enjoyed following your reading process :3 It's always fun to watch someone read my story "live". Absolutely love seeing a user leave a like on every chapter every few minutes, but it's even better when they reblog it aswell and leave a comment in the tags. Also really loved your insight and acknowledging that they both are overwhelmed and deal with raw emotions right now (would love to talk more btw). I think no one else on tumblr pointed that out yet.

As for your suggestions: That would be soooo in-character for them! Noah... for obvious reason, and John just doesn't know how to handle the situation and doesn't want to make it worse. If Noah wasn't sick this totally would've happened, after their "fight" in chapter 6.

I don't know if you read the 7th chapter, but with Noah being sick and acting so different in comparison to his usual self, John is worried and tries his best to help him, because even though they aren't on good terms John doesn't like to see the kid in pain.

To be clear I DON'T wanna belittle any of your ideas, I loved reading every single one of them! I just wanted to ramble (helps me a lot with getting a feel for my characters again after a long writing pause). Sadly I don't get character related asks very often, so I don't have many opportunities to just ramble/infodump/etc.

So again...

THANK YOOOOOOUUUUU!!!!!

Didn't really make much process on chapter 8 though. It's still missing something. But I finally figured out where I'm going to place a specific scene (chapter 8) and I thought of something I want add to chapter 9, so I count this as a win^^

[angelofthepage]

If I had a nickel for every time a FNAF video got me thinking critically about Bendy, I'd have two nickels, which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice. Today it's about how there's a lot we don't actually know in this series, and how maybe I need to stop driving myself crazy trying to figure it out.

So, this is where I reveal that I am anal about what I consider to actually be canon to Bendy, and that framing matters to me a lot. Like, if we're talking about The Illusion of Living for example, I will be very explicit in saying the canon is that Joey claims that Bendy was created by him, Henry, and Abby while sitting on the floor of his apartment. And that is the only thing that's canon, Joey claims this event happened in this way, but whether or not it actually happened in this way is unclear, since Joey perpetually lies to people throughout this series. Now, this is one of those events that I think he's telling the truth about personally, but no, all we have for the canon of that event is that Joey tells us it happened that way. That's not the same thing as "this is decidedly what happened". And this goes for every character, these characters are not guaranteed to be telling a truthful or accurate version of events at any time, some of them have reasons to either purposely abstract the truth, or unreliable memories due to the horrors of this world affecting their minds. I feel this VERY strongly with the books especially, because we know most of them have a lot of mental stuff going on because of the ink, but it's not just them. Look at Sammy and Susie, look at Tom, look at Wally and how charming but suspicious he is in what he knows. This series has VERY FEW reliable narrators, there is so much you have to interpret in order to get anywhere with it. So when people tell me something is "canon," I am immediately skeptical and want to know what their source is. Can't take anything at face value.

And the thing is, when you look at the canon through this lens, it is exhausting, technicalities will become the bane of your existence. This week I went back to some of the books with some friends, and the descriptions for Brant and Archie in TLO and FTB don't entirely line up with them being lost ones specifically as ink monsters (thank you Victor @reanimationstation for pointing that out and for the Sammy take that will follow here, I was so caught up in the moment I missed it on my first read-through). I feel like that's the intent with them, at the very least I feel like that's the intent with Brant because his book is literally titled "The Lost Ones", but the skeletal structure, the glowing eyes, things I would consider to be KEY FEATURES of that kind of monster are missing from their descriptions, and it leaves me with a lot of questions about what they actually are and what creatures they DO line up with. And I'm fascinated by the possibilities, because it creates a lot of fun options for fan interpretations, like making Archie a similar creature to Sammy to further unite their common threads (like why is Sammy the only character built the way he is??), or developing a new creature altogether. It is also frustrating from a theorizing standpoint because I can't say either of them are lost ones definitively, that's not the canon. They are ink monsters with x features, that is all we know, anything else is putting a label on them without knowing all the ingredients that make them up. I think Brant is probably a lost one, but I can't say that's the canon, that's something I've inferred and interpreted from the information available, which isn't a complete picture.

I want to do more with theorizing, but I think, I just wanna let myself have fun for a bit too, and not care about the canon by my usual high standards. I wanna go be a little indulgent with letting the hallucinations from Fade to Black exist as real creatures, even though there isn't enough evidence to say whether they are or not. I wanna play with the glasses more. I want to overthink about how Wilson may have used the glasses to enter and exit the studio as a possible "in" for Dark Revival. (Frankly Fade to Black has me asking a LOT of questions about Wilson that I want to mess around with.) I want to think about how Memory Joey, and how he might believe Henry and Allison are clones wholeheartedly, but he might have been fed bad information that he believes to be true (I don't think he'd intentionally lie to Audrey, but he is liable to be misinformed, he's a Joey after all). I want to contemplate "what ifs" that don't have to be based on completely factual things. I want hypotheticals. Maybe I just want to write fanfiction! X'''D Isn't that all theorizing is, fanfiction you're trying to validate with the canon? Like hell if I know!

There is a time and place for being anal about the canon I think. Establishing a timeline or a baseline of our factual information is useful and can inform a great deal of things, and it also gives you some room to anticipate where changes might occur if something gets revealed as a new twist or retconned in the future. Maybe that's just me, trying to justify things and make them fit within my view of this world (which let's be real, we all do it, I'm just hard on myself for it). But sometimes, you gotta let go. Sometimes you gotta let yourself be a little silly, maybe a bit unhinged. Sometimes you have to say, fuck it, maybe the hallucination of Henry from FTB becomes Borkis and writes golden ink messages for Cyclebreaker Henry to find. It's out there, it's stupid, but damn is it fun to consider based on nothing at all. Sometimes you get to ask if Keepers have souls for shits and giggles.

Maybe I need to stop framing theorizing as "solving the canon". Maybe we all could stand to have more fun playing with the world. And maybe we could stop calling things "canon" and debating the "canon" and just, enjoy the ride regardless of the canon. Because ultimately, it is frustrating to argue about the canon, especially for a series like Bendy where half the fun is from getting interpretative with it. Part of the fun is creating the story, using your imagination with the pieces the story gives us. And we're not always gonna agree on what kind of story this is or what's valuable about it, nor what direction it should go in or what is the best way to tell it. That's a huge part of enjoying stories, you're not supposed to all get the same takeaway from it. Bendy's story means different things to different people. And that's part of the beauty of it. And maybe, I need to be a little nicer to myself about it. Maybe I need to go learn to play again.

Maybe I need to learn not to take things so seriously. ^^''''

[bonesandthebees]

as an adult fanfiction writer myself (i'm in my 20s, too), it's really impressive how much progress you've made with your writing. how do you balance writing with other adult priorities? this is what i struggle myself; i want to be able to write, but i don't seem to have enough time. i recently deleted all my old drafts and most of my outlines so i could focus on writing a few stories in mind. idk if this is the way to go, but i made my decision.

p.s. i'm on my way to read your sbi stories, they sound great.

oooo what a good question!

well, for one thing I think I need to say that I'm technically unemployed at the moment (and technically have been for the past year due to family stuff going on) which definitely gives me more time to write compared to if I had a full time job. but at the same time I do kind of have a job? I don't like revealing too many details about my personal life on this blog, but let's just say I kind of work for a family member (but I don't get paid for it). either way, I do have more free time than the average 23 year old probably does so that certainly helps

at the same time though, I actually wrote more while I was a full time uni student. like, I wrote clinic in 6 months during my senior year of uni. still not sure how I did that one. so maybe it's not the unemployment thing lol

ok I rambled a bit too much on this so I'm going to put it under the cut

either way, I do have a lot of daily responsibilities that I have to schedule my writing around which does present a challenge. I'd say two major things contribute to me being able to write so much: one, I just write way faster than most people can write. And two: I put a lot of effort into recognizing the scope of my own abilities, and try not to put too many projects on my plate at once.

with the whole being able to write really fast thing, that's the result of years and years of intensive writing practice. from the time I was around 13-14ish, I started trying to write almost daily. around 15 is when I discovered fanfic, and once I was actually able to write things I could post online and get feedback on, whenever I sat down for a near daily writing session my goal would be to write a minimum of 1k words. a lot of the time I missed this goal, but it was fine and I just kept trying, not beating myself up too much about it because I viewed it all as practice. I wanted to get really good at writing, which is why I just kept at it, knowing it would get easier with time. and it did!

in short, practicing writing, any writing at all regardless of if it's going to be published or not, will help you get faster at writing. now this is going to conflict with the next thing I talk about, but I digress

now, the easier thing to emulate is managing the projects you work on. in my head I have about 3 categories of wips—actively working on to publish, off to the side dormant that I'm either planning on getting to or I might get around to, and never going to see the light of day but I'm working on it just for myself. if I decide to mentally move a wip into the 'active' category, I need to make sure it's the type of story I'm going to enjoy working on and will be able to complete. then when I have free time, I know that's going to be a top priority and I need to focus on that before other things. if I have a wip in the dormant category, if I have free time and I either don't have anything I need to actively work on to publish (like if I just posted a chapter the day before) or I really just don't want to work on my active wips, then I can take a second look at my dormant wip outlines and see if writing any of them gets the juices flowing. then there's the never see the light of day wips, and those I can write at any time because it's just for me, and yeah I should prioritize the active wips over them and I usually will, but also writing is a hobby I enjoy first and foremost. and also, any writing practice will help you. so even if you don't plan to publish it, writing a self indulgent thing will help you get faster, build stamina, improve your writing—all of that stuff.

so I think what you described with deleting old outlines/drafts makes sense, but also I never delete my old writing drafts just bc I love seeing my progress over the years but that's just me. but either way, making an effort to focus on active wips is a smart move, but also remember that not everything you write has to be published. the more practice you get with writing (and by that I mean literally any writing at all), the easier it's going to be to write longer things and finish them. you build that stamina like a muscle, and it can take a very long time to build it up enough, but it's definitely worth it in the end.

also just experiment with how you outline and plan stuff in a way that works for your brain, because when you have to write around adult responsibilities you have to streamline things as much as possible. despite the fact that I started writing fic at 15, I struggled so much with finishing long fics until I started writing for dsmp when I had just turned 21. and that's because I figured out a new outlining method that worked perfectly for my brain. it was a combination of planning some things, but not everything so that I kept myself interested in the story. experiment with how much or how little you plan your stories, because when you have a limited time to write, you want it to be something you're interested in and able to dive right into writing.

sorry this was so long winded, I really suck at giving short answers sometimes. hope that helps though! remember, the most important thing is that you're enjoying what you're doing :)

[berry-hwa]

Well well well. Look who returns

WITH A PART 2 OF THE MERMAID AU FANFIC!!! im still not sure if ill continue this. I have a lotta stuff going on. I dont think my brain needs any more plotting and thinking about a fictional idea. Thx. This is more of a lore and info dump that i wanted to elaborate on and because of that it also isnt as long as the first part butt to be fair i planned to cut that down to 2 parts sooo...anyway. Enjoy!!

"Is that enough proof for you, Ichinomiya?"

His bewildered face was very telling. But he actually quickly looked away and closed his eyes, as did the others in panic.

"Okay, okay— cover up, I didn't ask to look at your bare chest."

Her bare chest...?

"...Oh. Right." She looked down at herself. Her transformation didn't give her any more than a tail since it was her true, unadjusted form — so she was left topless. She didn't understand why her tail couldn't just grow from underneath her clothes. "My apologies."

"Gosh, these tails you guys have are so heavy...!" Baba adjusted his hold on her, hoisting her up. She knew he was pretty strong, so the weight of her really must've been something. Or, alternatively, could've been his age catching up to him.

"Actually," she raised her hand, slowly collecting all the water up from her person droplet by droplet, returning it all back into the glass as she transformed back into her human form, "siren tails are usually much lighter than normal mermaid ones, even with how long they are." She explained, looking to Baba to let go of her.

Soryu coughed as he looked back at her human form...with less to reveal this time, "Well...you wouldn't be wrong about that," Eisuke looked over at him with a questioning glare, "why is that though?"

She stared at the man, wondering how to explain this to him and the others.

"Well, sirens evolved to be deft and quick in order to efficiently capture their prey. Their tails are longer and lighter to aid in swimming and their fins have little to no drag under water, to maximize speed. Very much not like the tail of mine which you saw." She quickly answered. And she had to stare at the men's faces, who didn't utter a word in response. Eisuke however, seemed to be really taking everything in.

"...Huh. You really know a lot about this stuff, huh." Baba looked at her after taking a seat next to Eisuke.

"Well, I was born at sea, this is common knowledge to us all. Not to ordinary people, nor to ordinary people with unexplained tails, though." She crossed her arms, locking eyes with Eisuke.

"...Now that I've proved myself," She continued, returning to her task at hand, "any questions you might have?"

Eisuke blinked at her, visibly still puzzled. Did she not give him enough information? Was he going to reject her plea?

"...How am I even supposed to help you and your people?" He began, staring at her very incredulously, "you say I am a siren but I don't know what new information that knowledge gives me."

Goodness. Had he never heard of a siren and what one does? It could explain his cluelessness, though.

"Sirens preyed on sailors by luring them in with their voice and song and dragged them under the sea when they'd get close enough to attack. What do you think you have those fangs for?" She exclaimed, pointing at his mouth, "They certainly aren't meant to be for consuming fish."

Eisuke blinked. He sure was very clueless, huh?

"...I'm supposed to be preying on humans?"

"Just think of it as a food chain. Sirens need to survive too, you know." He blinked even more at that.

"Why were you looking for me throughout these years? Are there no other sirens like me out there?"

"If there were, do you think I'd be standing in front of you now?" She crossed her arms again, raising an eyebrow at him.

"No?" He answered, seemingly thinking to himself.

"Correct." She sighed, looking at the glass full of water. She missed home. "Sirens have been going extinct for decades. If there are any remaining still, they choose to seclude themselves deep under the sea, not even daring to look at the sun above — those sirens live off of the creatures that lurk deep in the oceans, until they eventually reach the end of their lives."

"...Interesting bit of information." Baba interrupted, probably aiming to lighten up the atmosphere a bit. She can't say it worked.

"I've desperately tried to find them myself...but mermaids aren't fit enough to be so close to the ocean floor. Its one of the reasons we can't relocate under the sea and why humans keep finding us." All those days she spent trying to reach as deep as she could before her body couldn't stand any more pressure, before the ocean became so dark she could barely keep on swimming, all in vain. Her last hope in the end was but a siren-turned, ordinary human man.

"So I'm your only chance as of now."

"...Yes, you are." It was actually a bit pathetic to admit that now.

She stared at him as his gaze lowered. This was a lot of information to take in but she hoped he was at least a bit sympathetic of her situation and could offer some assistance in any way. She'd understand if preying on humans wouldn't end up on Eisuke's to-do list.

"Your explanation does give some understanding as to why so many foods have become so unappetizing over the years, if it's not the required diet for...sirens..." Eisuke muttered, deep in thought she presumed. "And everything you've said and...shown here, as insane as it all may sound, seems...true."

"Aren't ya fast to believe her, mister siren." The detective chimed in, getting up from his spot near the window and making way to the group.

"I don't need your commentary over here."

"Would your dick fall off if you were a little nicer to your acquaintances?"

"...pfft-"

"Hey! Who are you to be speaking to me with such words?" Eisuke was very clearly fuming, no doubt a reflection of the power he gained with his transformation. "Watch your mouth or I won't even consider aiding you."

Ugh. How annoying.

"Fine, fine. I'll do my best." For her family.

"Actually, go back to the "who are you"," Baba interrupted suddenly, "is your name actually Misaki? I feel like I got really bamboozled today so I wanna make sure..."

Ah, right, the fake name she gave him and Ota...speaking of, the artist hadn't said a word this whole time. Actually, his whole behavior seemed a bit...off, not very much like him at all, she noted.

"I lied about that. My name is actually Mira." Obviously she picked the first name she thought of but it wasn't a coincidence that she had picked a similar sounding name to the one her family gave her.

"...You said you were from Britain, but you speak perfect Japanese...how is that possible?" Baba questioned. Quite the curiosity he had.

"Well...to clarify, I'm not from Britain, I was born in the sea surrounding the land, but I know some english because I was forced to live above land after my family was taken away."

"Taken away?"

"Killed." Admitting that hurt. "I knew I had to find you after your transformation, so I began to learn japanese in hopes of coming here one day and confronting you."

"You really held out hope that I would be generous enough to help you, huh." Eisuke locked eyes with her, his gaze fierce.

"Was I not supposed to?" She mirrored the fierce gaze of his and narrowed her eyebrows, daring to question him. He could choose to rip her apart right then and there but did she care?...not that much. She had nothing to lose.

"Just saying you might've wasted your time and my money."

Lovely.

"...So is that a flat-out no?" She muttered, already feeling dejected.

"I need to think it over some more..." She breathed a heavy sigh, preparing herself for disappointment, "but, only while you work under me."

What.

"Wha...?" She looked at him in disbelief.

"Riiight...about that!" Baba interrupted once more. "Remember how we bought you back there? Yeah...there's no way we're letting you go back out in the wild just like that. I'd argue its for our safety but with all that you've told us, it'd be best for you too!" Did he just attempt to flirt with her amidst that???

"...Okay...and if I stay here, I need to work?"

"Obviously." Double lovely.

She frowned, going over her options. Baba was right even while trying to swoon her, since she was sought after, she couldn't guarantee her safety in the ocean, nor could she stay in touch with Eisuke — and of course, they'd want to keep an eye on her after she witnessed such an auction in the hotel depths.

So really, her only hope was to stay with these strange men for the time being — in exchange for Eisuke's potential partnership.

"What do you say then?"

She sighed once more.

"I'll stay."

Such simple words could never make her think they would change her life overnight.

*************

In the quiet of the night, the angelic artist locks the door behind him as he processes all he heard from the woman, who had now been placed in the room next to his own. Standing frozen against said door, he feared he had zoned out at some point in her talking, but one thing was very clear to him anyway.

He wasn't normal.

And it made him worry.

[ashtxeman]

*Slam dunks myself into ur inbox*

You got any tiger or bull hcs?

Also, are you willing to talk about ur cool au?

~ fan-mans

Ooo, a lovely ask to see, Fan-Mans! Well, lets start with the big one.. my 'cool au' (thank you!!!). Assuming you mean my interpretation of the wacky Punchout world, I can't reveal too much.. tension building and all, but I'd be delighted to share a little synopsis and drop a few important notes to build off. After a tragic event in 1998 that rocked the very core of the WVBA, things started to fall apart. Famous faces departed, shady deals were made, everything was emerging into a new dawn. With Mr Dream gaining ownership of the company from its original founders Phillip Margo and Terrence Lemming, a company named Sun Corp was intergrated into the WVBA behind the scenes, slowly replacing medical employees and other roles with their own. Sun Corp pledges to create a better world for boxing and revolutionise the sport, but they might have ulterior motives that need to be looked into.. The Sun Corp website provides a lot of information on the AU, and has a bunch of secrets to find that have some vital stuff if you haven't looked already. Looking now.. there's about 8 things to find! https://sun-corp.onepage.me/sluncekorporace If you have any other questions, maybe I'll let some info slip.. feel free to send in any more asks! And now I can get onto the purer stuff, headcanons! We'll share some Bull info first, shall we? - Bull doesn't have any personal pets, but has plenty of farm animals (and several bulls) back in Turkey that he gets along well with. - Bull has never even considered dating. As a child he wasn't interested, as an adult he's too closed off to try anything. He would need a lot of convincing to give anything a go. - Bull barely tolerates anybody.. except Soda. He finds Macho annoying, he finds Aran aggravating and he's just fine with Sandman, because he's quiet. - Bull has been involved in a cover up by the WVBA for something he did. - He's blind in one eye, he will not discuss it. - I've mentioned it before, but his actual name is Burak Binici! - Bull is admittedly terrified of being noticed. He hates large crowds, ironically, and that means he often gets overstimulated. As a coping mechanism, he hits his head to try and concentrate on that pain rather than what's going on around him.. it's not very healthy, but it does work. Whenever he goes out in public, whether it's alone or with friends, he'll usually cover up with a hoodie or a coat to make himself less noticeable. In a worse case scenario he'll even make those going out with him cover up so they don't draw any attention, like the one time he took Joe out to a restaurant and had him wear a fluffy coat the entire time until he passed out from heat exhaustion. It's definitely an issue for him, but he refuses to work on it because he refuses to talk about his issues. It just makes him frustrated.

And now some Tiger info! - Tiger owns a white tiger called Gahana. - Tiger is fine with everybody, except Don who he constantly argues with and the rest of the time just manages to tolerate. - Tiger is very interesting for scars. He has tons all over him, and it gives him a kind of tiger stripe pattern. They're a mix of accidental magic injuries (teleporting into dangerous spots, burning himself with fire, etc etc). But there's a scar along his palm that's from a blood pact he made with an old friend, who was convinced they could get some of Tiger's magic if they did one (which was completely untrue and just ruined the friendship).  - His actual name is Zeeshan Kapoor!

[browneyes-issac]

Hellos everyoneeee!!! 💞👋

Sooooo I'm coming backkkk!! Finally!! 🙈💞😆

Warning This is super longgggg!! 🤣🙈

So I deeply apologize for dropping off the face of the earth back in February... I really had full 100% intentions of staying up to date with ready and writing... I just... I really think I overwhelmed myself working and trying to keep up.. Which that's nothing against anyone. I'm just super slow and I was still getting used to working evening being there five months. So I was sleeping more then my usual napping. So I think that's what started me backing away.

Then the housekeeping boss... She was becoming more and more of a bully to us and one of the ladies in laundry finally had enough and went to HR. She ended up getting fired. My aunt ended up taking the position.. Which yeah that was the logical choice but some stuff happened with her which I'll get into later on. But yeahhh, original boss lady strained on my mental health a lot...

And I am big on saying heyy blow up my phone if you need and or want to for whatever you want.. But I feel bad doing it to others so getting behind on my reading.. It kinda messed with me. Because I feel really bad for not staying up to date but also I just... I was getting burned out I think... 🥺🥺

~

A positive note ----

Biketok kinda consumed me on tiktok... 🤣🙈 gotta love the masked men love that Mando started for meeeee!! 🤣🤭

I have no words.. They all are so amazing and badass and I just... Yeahhh 🤭😍 I used to really hate sports bikes... But idk tiktok showed me they can be absolutely beautiful and their riders are so amazing... 🥺

I got a whole list of them that I follow and love but there is this one... His name is Angel. I don't even know where to start with him. He's so amazing, precious, dorky, idkk I just love and adore him. 💞

When I started following him it kinda started out as a crush.. Because ya know a booktok themed video of his popped up.. 🤣🤭 But once I got to know him through his lives and his more personal posts.. My love for him turned more into a comfort love. He brings me so much joy and comfort.. Like his fourth live I watched, I passed tf out. And I'm big on the saying; you fall asleep faster when you are laying next to someone you feel safe with. And it's the same thing with him. His voice just... 🥺💞🥰 Even when the dork is screaming and yelling at his games on live.. Still pass out and stay asleep. 🤣 he's really helped me heal a lot... 🫶

^^^^ this is the stinker in question. 🤭🤣 he did a face reveal, so I feel it's ok I am posting it on other social media. 💞 He's so stinking handsome I cantttt!! 😍💞🥰

I may still do thirsty comments on his posts.. But my teasing love and comfort love for him over powers that.. He just knows how to get under my skin with the spiciness.. 🤣🙈

He does have a girlfriend, which I'm endlessly happy for him.. He deserves endlesssss happiness!! 💞

If you would like to check him out... All socials are Outrunangels. He also has music out under that name. 🥰 he has music out under another name too, but not gonna promote it.. Not gonna type it out, if you'd like to listen to it after you've checked out the angel stuff.. Let me know and or I'll do a post about it too.. 🤣

~~~~~

Ok back to the annoying soppy stuff.. Enough of me gushing about my Angel baby.. 🤣💞🤭

So when I was pulled into biketok.. I found this one guy. He followed me back on tiktok and one day we started talked and he asked to move to snap, because tiktok didn't send him notifications good enough.. Which is fine, I had no problem with that. We started talking more.. Kinda... Kinda ended up being more of a spicy relationship. Which I was fine with. Because I've never been a relationship or had any romantic anything.. I know I've never shared this on here, but I've grown a lot and I'm not that ashamed of it anymore. I'll share about what helped me later on.

Anyways. This guy... I confessed I started developing feelings for him and that I'd love to start to get to know each other better. His response was I'm sorry I don't do relationships because I move around a lot. Ok I get that completely, but long distance can work and it doesn't hurt to at least have friends.

So I kinda started stepping back.. Because that hurt and as time went on it did more and I had some good days. Then around the middle of August, maybe the week after my birthday (it's the 6th ), he posted a few videos with a girl and I believe one said it was his girlfriend. Sooo yeahhh that killed me a bit. Like ok you could have been a decent human and said hey I don't like you anymore so let's stop talking, because I found someone.

I stepped back completely then.. I kept him on everything and just slowly deleted him off of everything. A few weeks ago a video of his popped up, he ended up breaking up with that girl.. I kinda laughed, because karmaaaa! 🤷‍♀️

Angel came into my life at a really good time. It was right before the crap with this guy got really bad for my mental health. And just like his name he was an angel and saved me. 🥺💞

Back to work stuff... Ya know how I said my aunt is my boss? Yeah kinda sucks now... So my dad is the manager for the bowling alley in town. He hired my cousin, my aunts son. He's been slacking a lot.. Dad has tried talking to him a lotttt... Fought to get him a raise... And then the Monday after my dad's birthday he fired him. Because he went behind dads back to the GM.. What's the point of dad being manager if he's gonna go to the GM?? Some other stuff happened too that caused dad to finally fire him.

My aunt is a childish person... So of course when my dad tried to talk to her calmly when she was there with her bowling buddies... She blew up at him talking about this isn't my problem blah blah.. And some other stuff that is family stuff.. Don't wanna get into it.. Been dealing with that mentally too much...

So she's been acting annoyingly at work.. Some other reasons too, but it irritates me too much so not gonna get into it.

Back in September one of the CNAs on my Hall was making fun t-shirts for all of us to wear for Halloween in October. She asked me to come help her and just hang out.. She only had mine left to do, pay day was the following week.. So I assumed that we were gonna wait to wear them until I had mine done. Which awesome, I'm fine with waiting.. Get to work Tuesday.. And all of them are wearing their shirts... It crushed me, but I didn't say anything because I've never been like that. But my mom, the protector she is... Did say something to Chrissy (aunt/boss) and a CNA she's friends with.. She talked to her in confidence as friend and fellow mom... Well this girl went to the nursing boss about it... So boss lady chewed the nursing saffs butts about it...

Mind you. Two of the CNAs I've known most of my life.

I think it was the Friday that this happened... When I got back upstairs from break, the girl that did the shirts asked if I was upset about not having my shirt yet. I said yes, but once I thought about it I was fine with not having it yet because I'm the housekeeper and the youngest, and my shirt is a different picture... And then mom got upstairs too because the CNA that actually cared about me out of the two I know, she had asked for mom to come talk to her... Because she knows how I'd react about the situation..

Mom and her walked away and I was still talking to the shirt maker one.. Boss lady and the other one I've known forever both said idk why we have to deal with right now and in the middle of the hall... Um excuse me, this is how we always talk.. It's not my fault you guys don't do your job properly so you gotta race to do things when state is in the building... So I walked away crying...

This killed me a lot.... Then the CNA that is mean that I've known... She keeps singling me out and setting me up for crap...

Mind you, she started doing this the week my mom was puking her brains out.

Oh and another thing I'm gonna share with y'all finally... I still live with parents.. We all aren't in a rush for me to move out and I help with bills, which is why I wanted a job...

We didn't know what was wrong with her.. She couldn't stand up really without feeling dizzy and puking... So no work for her.. I was having to worry about helping get her stuff done plus my hall. So I was slacking a lot. Because my mom is never sick. So I was freaking out and struggling a lot... She ended up going to the doctors and found out she has verdigo.

And this woman decides to start doing this crap that week and telling my boss.. I'm gonna leave this and see how long it takes lotus to pick it up... Like wtffff???

So yeah this all has been straining on my mental health a lot... I'm finally slowly getting bsck to being better... I'm gonna be switching to deep cleaning soon.. I'm training the new girl. I'm hoping she won't freak out and quite. 🤞

~~~ two postive things again.. 🥰

First.. The thing that had helped me not be ashamed of being single all my life and have no romantic background at all... I found this audio erotica app called Quinn. They have Voice actors that do spicyyy audios. It's such a wide range of stuff on there. Very sex postive. And their social media team posts so amazingly with helping us understand the positivity that goes with sex. They have helped me a lot with being ok with how I am not having experience. And I follow a few of the ones I love.. And ahh they are so sweet and awesome.. Have helped a lot too. Also, Quinn is only $5 a month.. 👀👀

Second... I got my first tattoo!!!

The meaning ---- this is a mental health tattoo.🫶

no I didn't get the lotus out of cheesiness of it being my name. I got it because I love the symbolism of it. Lotus flowers grow through the mud. So I have always said; you have to push through the mud of life to blossom into the beautiful lotus flower you are.

The words. I have always said that to my friends and myself.. And ya know I don't really cuss unless I'm really mad and that is how I always type out that cuss word.

It is also in honnor the people we have lost to suicide. 💞 I've had some family friends, famous people I adore and just in general for people we've lost to it. 💞

It's still super weird I have one. I never thought I would be able to do it!! I'm so scared of pain, but this pain.. It hurt but not really.. My mom and I keep saying, it's the perfect pain that doesn't hurt like other pain. I so calm during it that my hand went cold from keeping it still.. 🙈🤣

I can't wait to get moreeeee!! 🤭🤭

Ok will post this with some tags and then reblog with tagging people and some more to write. 💞

[norius-here-to-sips-tea]

@justobsessedwithlove the dream was like this:

I was at the beach with my mother, my father and apparently many of her grandchildren (who don't exist) we had gone somewhere to spend the end of the holidays.

and there was an old lady, a friend of the boy who was very similar to karma, and I was a boy similar to nagisa (they were identical to the characters so the beginning of the dream was karmagisa)

the kids were kind of running after me to catch me, like one of those grace field training catches

and then he started playing with me too and stuff and then the dream showed time passing and we kind of fell in love? I don't know, I know it was incredible... then I know that at one point he started to run after me with the children, but in the end he always helped me, taking me to an underground place under the wooden toy (the ones that they usually have them on the beach, with a little house for a slide that has a little bridge that leads to a point that usually has a climbing frame) and I know that we were having some naughty conversations and playing in the water that was down there (it was like a cave with its own lake) when he sank me and I accidentally hit a jewel... then he asked if I knew how to propose and we laughed when I tried to do it

Then we realized it was time to leave (the kids were still looking for me)

and then when we came back no one was around so I threw myself into his arms and held on to keep him from letting go and he got all frustrated and he said we had to go to the kids

Then I kissed him... many times (and his face just got redder with each kiss) and out of nowhere he kissed me and then I melted completely

So we went to the children (who were complaining to my mother that I was missing) and she didn't give a damn because after all, it was vacation and then I approached him and everyone jumped on me to tickle me.

THEN THE OLD LADY MADE A FACE OF REALIZATION AND WHEN THE DREAM CUT, KARMA HAD TURNED INTO A GIRL LOOKING LIKE SERENA FROM SHE-RA (the reboot) ((and I was now me in real life))

BUT THE COOL THING ABOUT THIS PART WAS THAT IT WAS NOT FOCUSED ON ME, BUT ON THE GIRL

AND ACTUALLY THAT OLD LADY WASN'T A LADY, THAT WAS A FANTASY, SHE WAS AROUND "SERENA'S" AGE AND THEY WERE FRIENDS

it was revealed that they were on a mission... it sounds like book betrayal to me, you know? like "ah everything was fake"

Then it was like, the girl filling her with questions

“Ah, what happened?”; "Are you in love with her?"

AND SERENA (the ex-karma) ((I'm going to call her that))STARTED TO RESPOND EVERYTHING IN PANIC

"AHM?? I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT, IT'S NOT LIKE SHE HAD KISSED ME OR SOMETHING!!!" AND HER FRIEND WAS LIKE 😮 AND STARTED TO SHAKE HER NON-STOP IN AN OUTBREAK OF HAPPINESS

AND THEN IT TYPE OF SHOWING NOW IN THIRD PERSON, US HIDING IN NEARBY HOUSES AND SUCH, TO SPEND MORE TIME ALONE (I think my mother was starting to notice)

But the end of the holidays was approaching, and that day my mother had entered one of the houses where we had hidden to have her breakfast

"cozy house" and my dad said "I agree" while they were eating breakfast and looking at me

but no matter how much I stood there, my head was in a place totally diferent... only looked at one person... a person I hadn't seen all day... Serena.

Then I woke up :(

AREGGA I LOVE KARMAGISA BUT MY LESBIAN ASS WAS IN LOVEEE WHO IS THIS DREAM GIRL?? SHE SEEMS SO SWEET ;(

i want a karmagisa fanfic about this ngl

[dmbakura]

Hello! First I would like to say I ADORE your art and the story building around your character and how they interact with Astarion it makes me feel so inspired to keep writing my own stuff!

I did have a couple of questions about your writing process Do you outline, plot, and plan your chapters or do you just write as you go? How do you personally get better at describing within your stories?

I have been struggling not to compare myself to others' writing, but it feels so hard when I look at my own writing, and it feels inadequate in comparison. I wonder if you ever felt like this and how you overcame it.

Thank you so much :)

Thank you! My writing process depends. For the bg3 fics I'm doing, I kind of have a general idea of certain beats I want to hit so I'm kind of just generally following that. The reason I haven't done a proper multichapter for bg3 and am just doing a series of loosely connected one-shots is because the game is so big and I haven't wanted to commit to anything and I'm still developing my oc so it's subject to change (I kinda wanna rewrite some of my earlier oneshots too lol)

For other fics I've written (like the multichap fics I have for dmc) I've gone in for most of them with a general outline, so like a Google doc where i just have shittily written bullet points of the plot beats i want to hit. Even if i don't quite know how it's going to go or if I haven't figured out the ending yet, I generally start from an emotional "hook" I know will be the kernel of the story that i will eventually end up resolving. This is just my approach but I actually don't really like going in with every little detail planned out. I find it really overwhelming and restricting, especially when a lot of really good plot points actually tend to reveal themselves WHILE I'm writing. I know you can risk writing yourself into a corner this way, but I find if i trust my "hook" I can usually have plot holes to resolve themselves. A lot of times I've actually written foreshadowing into my work without even realizing it.

As for descriptions... i feel like my prose still tends to drag out as much as i try to keep things concise... hence why I'm always complaining I end up with an 8k word fics when i mean to write something half that length. Idk it's mostly just preference when it comes to prose. You just kind of develop your own voice for it as you go. I do end up comparing my writing to others too, it's just a thing that happens with any art form i feel. I wouldn't worry about it.

Uhhh im also not a professional writer or anything, I just do it for fun, so take this all with a grain of salt idk if it's good advice lol

[linagram]

hi!!! i have some milgram ocs of my own and im also very inspired by what u do(writing entire mv descriptions sounds. kinda hard) but i was wondering something!!

how do you decide on covers for the prisioners? like.... lyrics wise how you see that characger in that song that stuff sorry i cant word it well

(u r very cool for what u do btw!!! cant wait to see the t2 vds)

!!! thank you so much i'm so so happy to hear that you like what i do!! 🥺🥺

and about the covers, when i try to find the songs that fit my ocs, i usually ask myself these questions:

is there a song that i can already associate them with? basically, sometimes you just look at your oc and go "OH I KNOW WHICH SONG I WANT TO GIVE YOU". like maybe it just fits them so well, you know that it would be perfect for them for one reason or another. i'll use kei as an example: like i just knew that vampire would be a perfect song for him. or riku and his ghost rule cover! this one doesn't always work though 😔

what would this character want to say to the audience? this one is harder to explain. so most of the time deco*27 covers don't actually have anything to do with the prisoners' crimes, backstories, sometimes even personalities. like they're usually assigned based on vibes or the seiyuu's voice, i think? i like to overthink things, however, so i usually assign them covers based on what they would want to say to their listeners. let's take kei as an example again. i could give him a song with a deeper meaning, but it just wouldn't be kei, at least not his t1 version. t1!kei wouldn't want to talk about his crime or his problems or anything like that! he would want to show his fun and flirty personality instead! (however, vampire actually does give a hint to his crime and what he's really like, it's like kei keeps proudly calling himself a vampire until he suddenly sings the "you're also a vampire" line)

so, if you already have a story in mind, i would suggest trying to slowly reveal different parts of your character's personality, backstory, crime, etc with their covers! this is also one of the reasons why i didn't go with the songs that i thought were perfect for some of my ocs, for example, i knew what non-deco*27 songs i want to give to shun and riku, but those songs would reveal way too much about their crimes and that would be too much information for season 1.

and if you feel like you can't find a song that describes their crime/backstory that well, that's totally fine! you can just go with the vibes then, which brings me to the third question.

would this cover sound good? if you already have voice headcanons for your ocs, that makes answering this question much easier, haha. sometimes you just have to listen to the song and imagine your oc singing it. do you think their voice fits this song? do you think they would do a good job if they sang it? it actually helps a lot! and if you think the instrumental doesn't fit their aesthetic or personality, the official covers also have different instrumentals, so you can just imagine them singing a different version of that song!

would this be a fun idea? don't forget to have fun when you try to find a fitting song for your oc! it doesn't always have to be a perfect song, you can just be self-indulgent and choose your favorite song, for example! or you can just pick it if you think the concept sounds cool.

also finding a good deco*27 song for your oc can actually be very hard, especially because almost all of his songs are about relationships and if your oc's crime/backstory doesn't have anything to do with that or they're just not interested in romance, friendships, etc.. yeah, it can be difficult. so i suggest trying to interpret the original song in a different way! for example, naomi isn't really that interested in romance and friendships and her crime doesn't have anything to do with that, which made finding a song for her very hard and for her t2 deco*27 cover, i picked a song that ~theoretically~ could describe her situation well.. except it's obviously a song about a romantic relationship. but i just knew that it would sound good as her cover and i really wanted her to get that song, so uh. i went "l-let's just pretend she's singing about hating that kid and her parents instead of. like. her ex or something" LIKE IT SOUNDS WEIRD I AGREE but sometimes you just really have to come up with a new meaning for those songs. (think like, amane getting animal. if we keep the original meaning, her getting that song doesn't make any sense, but if we think of it as her rebelling or something like that, it really could work) non-deco*27 covers are easier, since you can just go with any vocaloid song you find fitting!

and if you want them to cover the milgram songs. uh. good luck with that because as someone who has already picked my ocs' t3 deco*27 and non-deco*27 covers, i'm just sitting here like "maybe i should just.. wait until we get more songs" DNDJKDKDKD because it does get more difficult as the story goes on, i really am running out of songs to give them now. but hey, maybe it will be easier for you!

anyway, yeah, remember to have fun while imagining your ocs covering those songs <3!

[tonberry-yoda]

Which characters do you tend to have fun on writing the most from each series?

AHHH OMG YAY I GET TO GEEK OUT!! Thank you for the question anon, I am more than happy to answer this!!! <333 Also, I'm going to do every fandom if you don't mind! Just because every fandom and every character is different!

JJBA

-> So, JJBA is such a fun series to write for and it just has SO MUCH. Picking a favorite is super difficult, but I have found myself having a lot of fun writing for characters for part 6 and 7 as they are my favorite parts. Particularly, I love writing for Pucci since I love religious villains and it gives me a fun excuse to do some delving into learning about religion. And I love writing for Gyro since he is one of my favorite characters and I have always found him fun to write for!! That and villains like Kira, because he is such a weird one that I get to play with his character honestly

FINAL FANTASY

-> Now, I don't write for this fandom often because I don't have a ton of followers for it, but I LOVE writing for the chocobros. FFXV is actually one of the things that got me into fanfic writing, so I love writing for them because it's nostalgic for me &lt;3

KINGDOM HEARTS

-> Any of org 13. It is so fun to write for these characters that are supposed to be emotionless and add that level of raw emotion. It just makes it way more fun to play around with some stuff that has been revealed in game and then add my own twist to some of it!

HAIKYUU!!

-> I love writing for Tendou!!! He is such a goofy character who I really loved and every time I have wrote for him, I just have a huge smile on my face lol. I can't get over that one fic where they just go to the convenient store at like 3am, it's still one of my favs

HUNTER X HUNTER

-> Illumi. I don't write for him often, but this heartless killer of a character with no emotion is just something else to write for. Plus, I love a bit of scary stuff in a fic sometimes and I have this headcanon that he has a closet just full of dolls, so yeah, I love writing for him in the spooky way. And I'm sorry to say it, but Hisoka too. He loves pissing off y/n and is fun to write for. OMFG AND I ALMOST FORGOT CHROLLO!! Again, another religious type villain who's really interesting and fun to play with. Especially since he hides who he is in front of others, it's a lot of fun. Just the entire adult trio lol

THE ARCANA

-> Asra and Julian. I am a huge plague doctor fan and know a lot about the plague, so I get to add that in my Julian writing and he is a highly romantic man so I get to add that aspect too. As for Asra, MC and him have this friends to lovers thing that is always fun for me to write. And he has such a distinct personality that I can't help but have fun!

ONE PIECE

-> Is it illegal to say everyone? JK I actually do have an answer for this one. The only thing is, there are SO MANY CHARACTERS in One Piece who are all different in some way, so they are all fun in their own way to write for! But as for my choice, Zoro. One of my first fics that I was super proud of was a Zoro one. I like watching that idiot get lost and fall into y/n's arms somehow LMFAO. Plus, when he gets lost in the show he usually finds something interesting, so it is easy to get inspired to write for him (also a weird one that I love to write is Brook because I go really in depth with his backstory and make y/n sick af it's awesome) AND CROC OMFG I ALMOST FORGOT. I am the papa croc woman!!

JJK

-> Gojo and Nanami. They are the ones I simp over so yeah. For Gojo, it's nice to just write this stupid character and goof around with him, so he's mostly easy to write for. As for Nanami, I write a lot of characters like him (tired, overworked, etc.) in stuff like books/non fics that I write, so he is easy to nail for me

ONE PUNCH MAN

-> Saitama! He is such an interesting character in general and gives off these fluffy vibes that I love writing. Also, he's just my fav character lol

MHA

-> DABI. Honestly, I don't like MHA that much anymore for fandom reasons and how the anime is. I think it's a great series and all, just not that great if that makes sense. But that's for another day, the point is, Dabi is the only character that makes me still wanna pick up the manga. He is so complex and has always been great. Plus, I LOVE writing the douchey bad boy side of him and making y/n sick of his shit

OVERWATCH

-> I have kind of been known as the Ramattra girl on here LMFAO. I was one of the first people to write a full ass Ramattra fic when he came out, so people came to me with tons of ideas! Because of this, he is probably my favorite to write for. Plus, I love the fluff and angst that he has with him so I LOVE writing for him!!

RECORD OF RAGNAROK

-> I have enjoyed writing for Jack the Ripper a lot because he is a very interesting character, but Hermes is my fav. I love him in the show and his design is chefs kiss. I haven't wrote for ROR much though, so I can't say much yet tbh

RESIDENT EVIL

-> I wrote an amazing Leon fic that I will say didn't get enough love. That being said, I love writing for Leon. He is such a great character in RE2 and RE4 that I get to build off of him so much as the reoccurring character that he is and it's really fun for me (same can kind of be said for Jotaro in JJBA)

ARCANE

-> VIKTOR AND SILCO. This was one of the BEST shows to get writing inspo for because it is very similar to the book I am writing so I love the characters. Silco is such a great villain with this bit of love in him that I find easy to slide in another character like y/n. As for Viktor, I love a crusty scientist, so it's easy for me LMFAO

sorry this turned out to be a little long, anon, but I got really excited when I got asked this question, so thank you for that! I hope you have a super day and liked my answer lol!! <3

[rove-bogge]

Hello again,

It's not that I think I'm really boring, it's just... well, I'd have a lot more to say if we weren't going to have to reveal ourselves at the end of this, you know? Speaking of which: Is there anything in particular that you wouldn't want to receive at the end? I can take a guess at some things you might like from what I know about you so far, but I don't want to get you something you already have, or that's not safe for bugs or something (like how dogs can't eat chocolate, and certain plants are poisonous to cats).

That game you were talking about sounds fun! I don't have a computer, but if I did maybe I'd play it too. Though, wouldn't camping be kind of a waste of time while you're in that type of situation? Making tunnels is smart though, I should use that strategy if I ever play it.

I can't say I eat much sour stuff, though it's not like I have a sweet tooth either. I guess I prefer salty/savoury stuff? But If I had to choose between sweet and sour, I think I'd go sweet.

Ah, I wasn't really planning on having to answer those myself... if that's the case maybe I should choose better questions this time, though I guess you can always ask me completely different ones anyways. It's harder for me to answer these since I'm supposed to stay anonymous, but I'll try my best.

I guess my favourite colour would have to be... maybe red. It just feels so vibrant and powerful and cool looking, you know? But I also feel the same way about blue, oddly enough... people always say blue is calming, but there are some really electrifying shades of it. And there are dangerous blue things too, like the ocean... I guess I'm not really sure. If I pick purple, does that count as both? Though purple itself isn't my favourite.

My favourite food is. Well, it's hard to pick just one, isn't it?

If I could make five wishes... see, this is the hard part. I kind of wish you were really anonymous, knowing that I'm going to have to look you in the face later just makes this too embarrassing (or incriminating). Though I do feel more comfortable writing this letter than the first one. Well, the pen pal version of my five wishes would be: 1) To be a great and powerful mage, 2) For my family and I to be healthy and happy for a long time, 3) For classes to be easier, 4) To end world hunger forever, and 5) A blastcyle

My day was alright I guess. It wasn't better or worse than my days usually are, though it by all means should have been considering these living changes.

Okay, for this next round of questions, why dont you tell me: What's your favourite class? What's your favourite animal other than bugs? Would you ever get a tattoo?

Mandatorily yours, Pen Pal

Hi Mainly things to avoid are pesticides and insecticides…. If you give me these I am making you eat them. Only weird people would appreciate such gifts. I guess also anything like toiletries…I don’t know I guess some people like them but I always feel like those are a secret insult where you're telling the other person they smell or something. I mean if things aren't made awkward you can always come to Ignihyde and try it out if you want. We can even handicap ourselves so you have a chance to win. Though you misunderstand the terms Camping and tunnelling, I guess it's hard for a normie to understand gaming lingo lmao. If you do want to brave face me in this game we will have to give you some normie to gamer translation cards. As for taste you can have things that are sour and sweet at the same time. I mean Lemons are often put in deserts and drinks right? But I guess it's an acquired taste. But sweets are always good. I really want to go see the maple taffy display but it would be weird to go alone…Everytime I peek in there's always groups of people and it's loud and annoying. Ah well maybe I’ll order some online to be delivered. You seem weirdly indecisive like you can’t just pick one thing to deem your favourite. I always find that quality weird and annoying. Would you be the type of person who when you ask what you want for dinner goes ‘I don’t know, what do you want?’ How irritating… As for your wishes, you're not really going for Miss Twisted Wonderland here you know… bar the last one, your wishes are so boring textbook answers. I’m hoping that to put me off trying to figure out who you are. As for the Blastcyle…I have never ridden one. I only tried to drive a car once and I crashed my brother's car into a ditch…. I haven't done any further attempts to drive anything since…. Fine, your questions: Favourite class. Well, I am pretty good at analytical magic. It helps sharpen my cardshark skills! I enjoy working out the mechanics behind magic and even peoples unique magic can be fun to break down to concept and mechanics. It makes it easier to work out counters too. Animals other than bugs. I like snakes. I even have my own, Snake-eyes who is an Arid Albino ball python. He’s rather placid and sometimes likes to hang out around my neck while I'm playing games or coding. As for tattoos…hmm maybe I have never really thought about it. How about you? It seems you have considered tattoo’s if you asked such a question. Another question: what do you hope to receive for the holidays and or gift exchange? Anyway I have rambled on far longer than any of us care for and people want to play games. Lets see if I can rinse them of there Thaumarks TTYL Rove

[fairymint]

I know this is a very personal question, but how long do you need to take these doses? Or it is until the end of an schedule or is it more until you would reach your satisfaction? This is coming from someone who has no knowledge or experience about this kind of subject, so my apologies in advance if this sounds a bit rude.

This is a good question, and I'm glad to take them since knowledge about transition in fun to learn, I'm learning as I go too! going under the cut cause it's long and a lot! it's my choice in this case, but there's a lot to consider.

I'd say it depends on the person and why they're taking hormones. In my case it is really more the latter, my dysphoria or etc. I could describe more as satisfaction. (as an aside, I'm less of the sad, struggling person and it's more of a mild discomfort like....idk Like if you were stuck wearing the wrong size of something all day. It's about adding comfort for me, I would like to be more masculine, and haven't felt like I'm quite 'there' yet.)

My current Dr. actually asked me this question during our first appt last week more or less, "how long were you thinking you wanted to be on this." I said I don't really know, and I'm going to play it by ear due to a number of factors. her 2 cents was that guys 'usually stay on it until their 50s'. but we'll see.

I am a typical perisex guy, so when I had my blood checked last time, I had T levels (and other stuff) at typical levels, you need to have this done to figure out your dose. I am average/healthy so take an average dose (1/2 ML/100grams) weekly. Getting the blood checked is the first step. Since I'm healthy i can survive on what my ovaries/etc. produce, so they make a livable amount of T and E. getting your blood checked might reveal that you actually have an imbalance (you might find out you have low or high T levels and need medication lifelong. There's trans guys for example that've found out they weren't making a normal level of testosterone even for a cis woman! etc.) Mildly related, but another reason you need to monitor your T levels is due to how it processes: Atheletes that abuse testosterone as a steroid act the batshit way they do because if you have too much T, the liver converts it into estrogen, then you have too much of both telling them things, so they get too emotional and fly off the handle. That's what roid rage is. (This is why the accusation that transmascs on T would 'just get aggressive' and have roid rage is false; you're shooting for a healthy level. For me it calms me down.)

The changes of T are a process, so to an extent you could get off it any time, aesthetically speaking. You can't pick and choose what happens when but you can choose how fast it happens. A guy could reach a point where he doesn't want to masculinize further and go maybe like 'ok my voice dropped...maybe i don't want a beard....' and stop. I say that with a huge disclaimer that the beard could come in first, etc. But you can take breaks or a lower dose if you want. idk 'how' masculine i want to be. Changes are fastest in year one, and they slow down after that. Dr.s and google results like to say 'well the changes are basically done at a year :)' but! it just slows down. But! you look on reddit and the trans community, and I've seen older guys say 'well I've been on T for 5 or 10 years and changes still kept happening, look at This.' (cough cough. their dick kept growing or their body hair or muscles or jawline kept going.)

getting fixed affects your hormones, you need.....something to run on, enough T and E and then it doesn't matter which one is dominant. But, if i were to have my ovaries removed, I'd want to be on T until I got elderly for my health. (i'm not, I'm getting my tubes tied so my ovaries will still be there.)

T does have some medical benefits for me tho. My mood gets calmer overall. And i just found out it's an anti-inflammatory which is helpful since i have a condition that makes me allergic to myself, so i am considering the mood benefits as I stay on.