#i don't want to use the ai in the ultimate final story

[avauntus]

So I've been stuck...

...with my fiction writing, for a while. In a fit of desperation, I loaded up one of those "AI writing assistants" and thunked a solid section of the chapter that has been giving me fits for (*checks calendar* Good lord...) three years into it to see if the suggestions gave me any hope.

It's a mixed bag, but the reason I am sharing with you on this dark and blustery night is...even the A.I. cannot stop itself from shipping Hwi and SeonHo. Their gravity is absolute.

Seriously. All I gave it for context was (relative to the story) -- Hwi dreads talking to SeonHo but misses their friendship, SeonHo feels guilty because he (believes he) caused Hwi's sister's death, and SeonHo is irritated at BangWon, who is Hwi's boss.

Then I asked the A.I. to help me write a fight. Two paragraphs in, I get... THIS: Hwi lusting after SeonHo.

...I keep laughing, getting over it, going back to the "suggestion" and I start laughing again.

[jennyandvastraflint]

Would love to hear more about your thoughts on the commercialisation of fandom!!

Ooooh, boy you've opened a can of worms. I took a Fan Studies course at uni for a module bc I could choose it, and I did a lot of research into this specific topic... I hope it's okay that I'm just putting in some of my slides and then summarising underneath each!

Now, fandom in, for instance, fan fiction spaces, works on the basis of a Gift Economy in which gifts rather than money are exchanged. However, these gifts aren't just meant for one person, but for many, and even when you for instance do an artwork or a fanfic for someone, other people can still ALSO read it. These gifts can (but don't have to) be responded to with another gift, be it a comment on a fic, or a fic in return. Now, I could go into much more detail here, but I recommend checking out for instance this text by Trisha Turk on the TWC for some more in-depth stuff about this. (I'll list all the sources I used in the presentation in the end btw!) The gist of it is that fandom is a very complex system in which the reciprocation of gifts - and therefore labour - is distributed across the community.

(more under the cut)

HOWEVER capitalism, as always, comes along and tries to ruin things for profit.

Fandoms continue to form because of the unrestricted movement and no one dictating what is well, "really" canon and what isn't. I'm sure you've witnessed some fans in more recent years refusing to ship things that "won't become canon anyway", positioning the canonicity of a ship or a scenario higher than... well, their own critical reflection and interpretation OF the media and their own creative endeavours. At the end of the day, canon for me personally is something to draw on, negotiate with, or reject if it's stupid, while more recent fandoms I've seen sometimes go about their engagement with fandom as a sort of... worshipping of canon almost, and where being noticed by the creators is sort of the ultimate goal.

Now, this is of course connected to corporations realising that hey, actually people engaging with our media and creating something about it bring in numbers, and with them being able to make a profit off of views on social media, they seek to drive certain forms of engagement with the content. However, they are of course seeking to police HOW you engage with things, and don't you dare stray from their vision too much. This, of course, harms especially marginalised communities who propose alternative readings of media, who subvert the show itself and who transform it into something else, adding themselves into the work and into a world where, by design, they were invisible. It's also an attempt to undermine fan activism and grassroots organising by fans (if you wanna hear more about fan activism shoot me another ask and I will ramble <3 edit: link to post about fan activism) by keeping them in line with a sterilised version of fandom. In this sterilised and controlled version, the forms most often encouraged are things like video edits (but don't be too out there, that's bad too) that can be consumed like content by fandom... They like video edits, sterilised fanart, and things that are easily consumed and bring numbers, but "don't you dare write that nasty Spirk fanfiction where they have sex in the captain's chair! Ewww, yuck yuck!"

Rather than having a fandom driven by community, you have one driven by consumption, and that has become increasingly clear in the past few years, with readers on fan fiction asking "When next chapter?", pressuring artists, writers, etc. for more 'content' for them to consume without a) participating in the Gift Economy fandom is built upon and b) realising that these fan works are gifts to the community in the first place, and not content... These are, by the way, often the same fans who will cheer on AI because now they can finally read a story they wanted someone to continue :D Instead of using their own fucking brain, they're asking a bot trained on scraping works to produce them some bad, surface level jumble of words just so they can consume, consume, endlessly consume without ever having to think.

A few years ago (well in like, the late 2000s), a site called FanLib wanted to profit off of the resale of fanfiction, but were quickly shut down. Their mistake was that they mistook the community of fandom for a commodity to exploit for their own commercial interests. I'm not sure you've seen it, but Wattpad has sent authors emails asking them to update their fics frequently because it would appease the algorithm (see Tumblr Post about this here), which leads me to my next little point!

Algorithms! If you have ever done fan edits and posted them on sites like TikTok, Instagram, etc., you'll have noticed that... unless you post regularly and frequently (like. one edit a day at least), the algorithm will NOT push your video at all and it will be buried. Algorithms are based on how well a post performs not in terms of actual community that is built, but of course on numbers. Wattpad also functions on an algorithmic principle, which is why you have some........ individuals coming to AO3 and complaining about the supposed algorithm, spamming their work and reposting it, yadda yadda. Basically, these fans are so used to being spoonfed by an algorithm by now, they are confused when they are actually left on their own and are supposed to learn some basic fandom rules. It's honestly frightening to see fandom not only be reduced to this surface level interaction and to number-based algorithmic systems, but also to the trend-hopping TikTokification of fandom.

A study done by Booth and Dare-Edwards published in 2021 that focused on school age children basically came to the following conclusions... Children still connect "fan" with the same stereotypes of obsessive and unruly individuals that were plaguing us thirty years ago. A whole bunch of children think fandom is a thing of the past and that it peaked in the early 2000s - and while fandom of course is different now and has changed with the spread of the internet, fandom very much still is A Thing. Further, children connected fandom and being a fan mostly with buying merchandise and collecting, and also with plain consuming content, echoing "neo-liberal associations of ‘emotion’ with ‘buying power’, but at the same time, seemed to pathologize those who practice fandom (as they see it) ‘too much’" (Booth and Dare-Edwards 230). The text concludes that while there has been an explosion of media and you are becoming more multi-facetted in what you are a fan of, lilypad hopping and essentially abandoning fandoms after a brief period of surface level engagement and consuming content is increasingly becoming more common. From my own experience, this is for instance the case with shows like Willow (2022), Good Omens(ish), etc. Pretty much anything more recent doesn't have as stable a fanbase and if you enter the fandom a month too late it's already fizzing out. It's really fucked up, honestly.

Right, after that long tangent about this, I want to bring up ancillary models, which is an attempt by capitalist companies to market the previously unwanted Gift Economy of fandom as something new and desirable, but something they are in control of.

Ancillary Content Models try to lure fans in with "free" Behind-the-Scenes content. The guise they have stolen from fandom of acting like a Gift Economy of saying "here, this is for all our dedicated fans <3 Consume :D" is used to downplay the commercial infrastructure these Content Models (honestly it's already in the name). The "gifted" content is more concerned with getting loads of people to individually consume as much of it as possible to create an alternative revenue on for instance social media through views, clicks, likes, etc. They're essentially trying to commercialise our viewing time and keep us engaged with that additional content as much as possible. Rather than having a community that comes together to share their ideas and stories around a metaphorical campfire, Ancillary Content Models want each person alone to sit and stare at the stuff they put out as much as possible, always placidly clicking "like" and demanding more. They also want to cultivate an "official" fan community (aka the ones most dedicated to consuming additional content) that they can monitor and control, and they don't encourage anything that's too... out there, too subversive, too queer, etc. Coined "re-gifting economy" by Suzanne Scott, capitalism with these Ancillary Content Models has warped the Gift Economy fandom functions on into a model that equates consumption with community, and which wants to profit off of fans' engagement and their free labour of making viral TikTok edits that adhere to the sterilised version of what a fan "should be". The example I used in my presentation for this is from The Dragon Prince, which, while I do love the show, has been pushing such Ancillary Content Models. They also have a Discord (which is regulated and monitored) as their "official fan community" place, and not only are the rules pretty strict, but it also just... doesn't feel like a community but just like a bunch of people wanting more content gathered in one place :/

Now, to conclude this, capitalism sucks and is trying to ruin fandom communities in order to replace them with something they can make some more money of, and rather than having a critical fanbase that questions things, they want one that endlessly consumes the "free" content they churn out. Stay active in fandom, remember we're a Gift Economy, learn the fandom rules, and keep hating capitalism <3

Fan Work: Labor, Worth and participation in Fandom's gift economy by Trisha Turk

Now, the sources I have used for this...

Repackaging fan culture: The regifting economy of ancillary content models by Suzanne Scott

Stanfill, Mel. “The Fan Fiction Gold Rush, Generational Turnover, and the Battle for Fandom’s Soul.” The Routledge Companion to Media Fandom, edited by Melissa A. Click and Suzanne Scott, New York, 2017, pp. 77-79.

"No one's a fan of anything anymore, this isn't 2002.": Surveying 7–17-year-olds on being a fan and contemplating the future of fandom. by Paul Booth and Helena Louise Dare-Edwards

[aihoshiino]

chapter 155 thoughts

Thanks for your patience! I had some stuff crop up IRL this week that kept getting in the way of my chapter review but we're so oshi no back

Chapters Since The 143 Kiss Happened And Went Entirely Unacknowledged And Unaddressed Count: 12

Aqua Hoshigan Status: White

i can't believe toxic yuri was the real core theme of this manga all along

With the long road to revenge seemingly conquered, Oshi no Ko eases us into a bit of a false high before the real finale comes barrelling in. As with 152, it feels like we're tying off a number of arcs that have lasted through the series, with certain characters getting what is clearly supposed to be their big emotional resolutions… and unfortunately, as with 153-4, while a lot of these beats are satisfying on paper, they suffer a lack of buildup that makes them ring a bit hollow. OnK's clumsy handling of certain characters during the Movie Arc has really come back to bite it during the finale, leaving me feeling like a lot of the emotional payoffs for them are undercut and the character work they're doing doesn't have the groundwork it needs to properly resonate. I defo didn't hate this chapter like some folks seemed to, but it has some pretty substantial issues in terms of micro and macro storytelling I am compelled to talk about. This is one of those chapter reviews I think comes across way more negative than it necessarily is lol but man did this one give me a headache…

To start things off, the thing that initially delayed this review: page fucking one!!! By total coincidence, this was the first chapter in basically forever where I didn't get a chance to look at the JP raws until like two days after it dropped and as such I was ripping my hair out trying to figure out who the narrator was on page one - the use of 'Mama' made me wonder if it was Ruby, but the visual flow of the page is much more biased in favor of Aqua and I probably don't need to tell you how fucking huge it would be for Aqua to have called Ai that for the first time!!! However, based on the speech patterns of the speaker in Japanese and the way subsequent pages flow from this intro, I'm pretty settled on it being Ruby - this chapter is a sort of closing of the book on her involvement in the revenge play or as my friend Mala put it, it's Ruby's homecoming so to speak. And like… honestly, thank god lol.

I get a lot of Ruby fans have wanted her to be more involved in this side of the story for a good while but I think the Black Hoshigan Ruby arc playing out like it did made it pretty clear that Ruby as a character is not super well suited to playing a role in the revenge half of OnK in the way that Akasaka wants it to be written. Not just that, but her actual post-BH characterization in relation to this arc has been such a wet fart that I really think it has taken away a lot more than it has added to her arc.

Not only that but… most of it didn't even happen onscreen lol! Not only did we get that absolutely baffling speech in 147 where she literally looked into the camera and Explained With Her Words the character arc she was supposedly having this whole time (just offscreen and nowhere the reader could see) but we now get Aqua going "well ruby decided to forgive him so it is what it is i guess". It feels so limp as a reason for him to have flipped on a dime like he did, especially when we still haven't fucking seen this supposedly lifechanging performance of Ruby's!!!! SO many characters have the resolutions to their Ai-adjacent arcs connected to how Ruby chose to play Ai in the movie but we're not actually seeing it. We're just sort of talking around it and having it exposited to us. I want to assume this is setup for us eventually seeing it ourselves but like… at this point, IS there any point to us revisiting the movie's content? Everything we might have learned from it has already been addressed by characters Telling Us To Our Faces How It Made Them Feel And Gave Them Therapy so it would ultimately be superfluous.

God. I hate still bitching about the Movie Arc now we're out of it, but it really is the albatross around the neck of this finale. So many of the issues littered through these last ten or so chapters are the result of the Movie Arc's fumbling and misuse of the cast and its failure to establish the emotional throughlines that should have been tied off by these chapters. I keep feeling like I'm repeating myself when I talk about XYZ Narrative Beat not being bad on paper but being less effective than it should do because of lacking underlying foundation but it really is the one central thing plaguing this arc right now.

i get what you guys are going for but. seeing aqua just let kamiki walk away when he has definitely killed people is really funny.

The twins' return to Miyako is another moment that I like in theory but honestly just feels frustrating. It's been over 25 chapters - a week short of an entire year since 125 came out where Miyako lamented her inability to reach the twins like a 'real' mother would and this thread was immediately dropped like a rock. She had zero involvement in the Movie Arc even during parts it was straight up absurd that she was not at least reacting to the events going on, didn't have any reaction to the movie or like… anything going on that could have more organically lead to this development.

I also have to say. The twins returning to Miyako performing this Snapshot of Aesthetic Motherhood (as u/DeliSoupItExplodes on the OnK sub put it) felt kind of. Weird and even a little icky to me in a way I've been struggling to articulate. Just that it felt extremely on the nose and kind of. eeeh.

that said. i won't pretend i'm not 4x critically weak to an 'okaeri' / 'tadaima' exchange at the end of a long quest or journey…

For all my complaints about the surrounding context, this scene in isolation is pretty much the one part of this chapter that just uncritically works. It's hard not to read it as a parallel to Miyako offering to adopt the kids in chapter 10 - except there, Aqua refuses to step into his new family. Here, Miyako pulls him into the embrace and the two of them finally engage not as peers but as a mother and son, as they've needed to do all this time. Her words here are so lovely and so, so sincere that it's really no wonder Aqua breaks down in tears. As much as I've bitched about the lacking work in his arc across the last major chunk of chapters, it's nevertheless been incredibly cathartic to see Aqua finally start letting down his walls, believing in his future and letting people love him. I just wish it had the buildup to really land.

also the twins just… still have not had a real conversation or interaction about literally anything lol.

Ichigo's back…! I already aired my major complaint about this scene vis-a-vis Ruby but I imagine this is the last time we're going to get a real Moment with Ichigo so I might as well get this off my chest now: it was and continues to be utterly bonkers to me that of the characters we saw having Feelings about the 15 Year Lie cast screening, Ichigo was not one of them. And it's even more bonkers that we got this whole bit waxing poetic about fucking Kaburagi and how he feels soooo bad about Ai when like… I'm sorry, but Kaburagi's feelings about Ai are so low on my list of priorities as to be functionally irrelevant. Quite frankly, he does not matter and it's INSANE that the story gave this misty-eyed moment to him and not Ichigo - you know, the agent of the industry that went on to exploit and kill her, her literal, actual dad whose guilt over what happened to her made him ghost his family for nearly twenty years? Can you imagine what an insanely powerful moment of resolution it would've been for that moment of Kaburagi addressing Ai through the 15YL poster to have gone to Ichigo instead?

I also have to note this weird ongoing thread of 'the Dome' being framed as Ai's dream that Ruby is inheriting when it, uh, patently was not! I'm sure she felt some pride in her success but all she herself said on the matter back when it came up was that she didn't get what a big deal it was but that since everyone else was happy, she'd be happy too. I initially took this to be laying the groundwork to disprove this idea and make the characters work out what Ai really wanted in her heart of hearts but now the narrative seems to just be uncritically treating this as a value neutral fact. So… who even knows lol.

Short hair Akane returns…! I don't imagine it was planned, but it's a cute coincidence that she cut her hair in the manga right around the time anime Akane grew hers out for season 2. I've always liked short hair Akane best so this was a nice surprise…

I have to say it was uh, really funny to see so many people get so shocked and mad when Akane talked about 'imitating Hoshino Ai' and screaming that this was a retcon or ruining Akane's character when like… was this really news to you guys??? Even before she grew her hair out, she flipped her bangs to go in the same direction as Ai's as soon as she started acting as her and she was popping hoshigans all over the place when she was getting her career off the ground… like, seriously, was this really a shock to people???

Anyway uh. Vindication for me from this scene!!! I've been pointing out for over a year now that we should be very cautious about taking it at face value that Hikaru killed Gorou and Yura because the story has been very delicately implying that to be the case while avoiding confirming it outright in a way that reeked of a red herring to me. That combined with his failure to even mention these two victims while 'fessing up to Aqua really raised some additional red flags for me and finally, we see Aqua confirming that no, Hikaru was not the one person behind everything, Light Yagami style and the final boss of the series seems set to be B-Komachi's former Queen of Smiles. Fuyuko Niino.

And Iiiiiiiii… feel very uneasy about this twist!

First of all; I have to acknowledge that nope, we have no fuckin clue how either Aqua or Akane figured this out but we'll probably get the exposition in that regard over and done with next chapter. Also something a lot of people caught is that Ryosuke is referred to with a different name here - Sugano vs Kaihara, which was used during the Movie Arc. I've heard this called out as a mistake/retcon and it could be, but tbh I'm inclined to think it's just that Ryosuke's name was changed for the movie, since a point is made about needing everyone's permission to include them in the movie and they, uh… can't exactly ask Ryosuke!

But… back to the real point here.

Nino has been one of my favourite OnK characters since I first read 45510 and every subsequent expansion on her character and her relationship with Ai has only made me more invested in her. But the story setting her up as the final villain here is… it leaves me feeling a little cold and very uncertain about how it'll go.

First off, the framing of Nino on these last two pages is just so overwrought that it's a little ridiculous lol. The image of her squatting in her filthy room, listening to old B-Komachi tracks and staring at a poster of the old group with all the other members but her and Ai aggressively scribbled out… it feels downright parodic to an extent that I think honestly makes Nino that much less nuanced and human by its inclusion alone.

Like… a big part of what I loved about Nino's inclusion in the story and how her relationship with Ai was framed was that it was messy and honest in a way that felt like it wasn't judging Nino herself or making her out to be a villain. Her and Ai's relationship breakdown was a two-sided failure of communication spurred on in large part by Ai's own avoidance and inability to have frank, sincere discussions with the people who cared about her. Nino's tangled up feelings of admiration and desire, envy and resentment, love and hate were not flattering but they felt so real and so human. She was a young girl put into an impossible situation and without the power to change the invisible dynamics of the systems around her, she lashed out at the person in front of her that she could see. The impression I always got was that part of what so deeply fucked up her feelings about Ai was her lack of closure - that she had never gotten to say sorry or patch things up. That she had screamed I wish you'd die at someone she loved and then she fucking died. No wonder she was a mess.

All this though… maybe I'm overreacting when we're just a page and a half into this reveal but again, the framing here really does feel so exaggerated and shallow. It feels like it's falling into the trap OnK previously fell into with the GRSR relationship where it attempts to amp up the drama by massively overexagerrating the emotions at play, blowing them up to their hugest possible extreme and letting all nuance and subtlety get lost in the noise. Ultimately, this will all come down to execution and while it's possible for AkaMengo to get us back on track with the Nino I already liked… idk. Like I said. I'm uneasy.

I also can't let it go unsaid - accidentally or otherwise, the framing of Nino here leans extremely hard into the stereotype of the 'psycho'/predatory lesbian and I don't think I need to explain why that sucks donkey nuts, especially in the midst of a manga that is so insufferably hetero at all other times.

at least she has good taste in b-komachi tracks.

[yuseirra]

Anaylsis on Ai Hoshino's character and speculations of how her relationship with her ex-boyfriend actually went

With the upcoming second season of the Oshi no Ko anime, I think this is a good time for me to write how I feel about this character. The manga seems to be reaching the final arc too, so if I make any guesses, it's probably now or a never thing! I'd like to post this before I get utterly proven wrong and it gets totally useless XD and who knows? Maybe I just may get some things right.

I had a chance to talk about how I felt Ai with @aihoshiino through an ask (their analyses are so good and I'm sure they'll write tons better than what I can offer) and it led me to realize how interesting the character is. So I ended up jotting my thoughts on my own and it became quite long.

This post will touch on how I think Ai's mind worked, and how it may have affected her relationship with her ex. I've been following the recent chapters, and I read up to ch. 152. This means I'm aware of most spoilers, and that this post would be swarming with it! If you're okay with it, please read ahead!

*I originally wrote this in a different language. I'm too tired to write the whole thing over again, so I used DeepL translate! I fixed some nouns that got lost within the translations, so should make sense for the most part. Sorry for the clumsy writing in advance!

While thinking about the recent developments in the onk manga, I noticed some things while listening to the opening of the anime version, so I'll write it down. The other day, I had the opportunity to discuss the characterization and personality development of Ai with someone else, even though it may be brief. There were some things that were notable in the behavior of this character in the novel version as well. I don't know how the story will develop, but from the information I got thus far, I feel I can outline what kind of person she is to some extent.

Ai has a very strong desire for "love" because she's never been loved properly. Rejection from parents in early childhood takes a tremendous toll on a person's development of self-assurance and self-esteem. I'm not an expert so I can't make a professional statement, but I think Ai often resorts fo have an avoidant (withdrawn) attitude. She want to have deep relationships with people, but she doesn't want to reveal their intimate "real" selves to others because she's unsure if she'll be accepted. Self-hatred is a big part of why she keeps it hidden. There's a very selfless reason why Ai decides lie: she does it because everyone likes the pretty, bright, lovable version of her. Ai protects herself by pretending, but they also protect the "outside" from the "ugly" version of her. Everyone prefers Ai to be this invincible idol, and so Ai acts that way because it's the way to contribute to the group and the world around her. In the end, Ai becomes so good at performing this idolized persona to the extent where she shows signs of being broken or disheveled, the others will react "That's not Ai" and deny it. But even though she's initially happy to be loved and accepted and have a place, ultimately that's not the kind of "love" she wants. This character has a very idealized idea of what love is, and she wants that kind of love where you put yourself out there and it's accepted, but when you think about it, it's her parents who should have given her that kind of love. What she wants is the unconditional, the agape type of love, the type she never got that early in her life. In reality, she was actually always getting the love from her fans, and she was giving love in return, whatever form of love it was. It was just that she wasn't sure if it was love at all. That's the sad part about this character, she has a very strong image of what love is, and she's not sure if it's love when it comes to these whole other variety of emotions. That's why she says in her idol songs that she really wants to love her fans, even though she's already doing it… When Ai became a parent and was in the position to give unconditional love, she began to think, "Will I know what love is? (Regardless of whether or not this was to be a wise choice to do this at such a young age, there are definitely people who actually have this sort of mental state. It may not make sense if you look at this character's emotional state and judgment from what's considered as the norm, but this is the flow of her thinking. It's not a healthy state, but it's not fair to just dismiss it as thoughtless, and foolish because this character has never experienced normal love.) However, the "love" she thinks of didn't just happen when she gave birth to and raised her children… Even for her own children, she kept putting on a bright face and couldn't live unadorned… This is how acting (lying) is a form of love for her. She tried so hard all the time. She lived as much as possible to fit in with others. She thinks this is showing consideration for the other person. This is another sad point, because she doesn't realize that when she reveals herself, others will still love her for who she is.

When interpreting the character of Ai, you shouldn't interpret her as someone who is emotionally stable and loved. The MV for the song "Idol" was my first introduction to the work "onk", and the initial feeling I had when I saw it was discomfort. This was because I felt like it was exposing a very vulnerable and precarious psychology of a young child. To compare it to other works, I think it's similar to the psychological state of One Piece's Tot Musica or Fleeting Lullaby, but even more extreme in a way because there's not even a metaphor to cover it up. It's a very honest song, and so I was like, "Is it okay to lay it all out there?" and at the same time, I was like, "This is going to be popular, but do people like stuff like this these days?" because it's about something that pretends to be okay, but it's really not. It's a song about struggles, about trying and trying. This discomfort dies out a bit when you "get used to it", so now I just enjoy the song like the crowd in the song going "Whoa! Whoa!" but the song is too "easy", it's… It's really, really easy to understand, because the lyrics are what it is. You don't even have to scrutinize it to recognize what it says. It's painfully honest.

But when I read the comic, I realized that was the entire point. Ai wanted to be honest, to reveal all of his intimate details, to be accepted, to understand others, to obtain what she thought was a "genuine relationship," and that's why he wrote this song. That's the core of the character. If the core of Aqua's character, which we talked about before (I wrote a different analysis on Aqua once too), is his inability to forgive himself, then the core of Ai's character's motivation is her desire to realize what she thinks is an "ideal form of love."

The problem is that this "lie" as a form of love comes in direct conflict with Ai's idealized notion of "love." After all, in Ai's mind, "true love" should be free of lies. Even when Ai has proposed the idea of lies being a form of love, she didn't even fully believe it herself. Because she kept wearing the mask of an "invincible idol" as an extension of her work, even in her daily life, she wasn't sure whether the love she was giving and receiving was really "love" or not. I think Ai is a character who thinks a lot about these things. This aligns with how celebrities are in real life, too. I realize that there must be many people who think differently from the image they are to be shown in the media.

I think this is what led to the breakup of her relationship with her ex-boyfriend, and I think she was trying to confess all of these feelings in the documentary, and I think it was meant to be a shock to the said character. It's probably going to be something that would hurt her ex-boyfriend in some way. I think this would only work if the boyfriend really loved her. I think she would have had good feelings towards her, love or not on her end as well. It just never came across. Ai's so used to pretending she's okay. She's the type of person who's very secretive and evasive when it comes to deepening a relationship. I think she avoided Kamiki because she thought it would be better for the both of them if she stayed away. On the other hand I think Kamiki would've been very dependent on her, and since this was a relationship he's had when he was very vulnerable and had been through some serious mess, Ai must've been kind of like a lifeline to him. He may have clung to her because she doesn't show her heart very often. Kamiki is an anxious attachment type, but Ai is an avoidant type, and I think that backfired in a very bad way. I don't think Kamiki was able to convince Ai to stay when the breakup happened… I don't know, maybe he was near the hospital when she gave birth because he really wanted to see his kids from a distance, this seems more likely given the how the storyline is going so far.

When Ai says, "I don't know," when Kamiki asks her, "Does Ai love me?" desperate for affection, she's trying to be honest in her own way. She can't simply say "no," to that but she really doesn't know if her feelings for him's really love. She can't lie to herself, so she wants to be honest. (Kamiki would've been so heartbroken, but when you look at the character of Ai, it's surprising to see a relationship without pretense. She wanted to be perfect in every moment, but she wasn't doing that with him.) I believe that Ai may have came to a conclusion that she's never loved anyone, whether towards her fans or to Kamiki, but she wants to "love properly" now. (Now that I think of it, Kana is the polar opposite of Ai. She's very honest and just plain states that she doesn't like her fans that much. It took Ai a really long time to say it, and if Ai was all wrapped up, Kana just went out and blurted it lol… I think that's what makes her so charming.) The song "Idol" was a song that summarizes the whole character of Ai, and I think she wanted to tell everyone that she loved(s) them, just like she could tell her children at the very end of the song.

She didn't want to get back together with her ex because she wanted to continue being an idol. She couldn't have a public relationship. But I think she wanted to show her kids to him because she gained a little bit of courage while raising them. That she could show her real self. When you look at a Ai, you can infer she has a lot welled up. They had always hidden themselves, and now they have "secrets" that are not just their own, living, that grow with time. She's always had vicious circle that led to self-hatred from all the lies she'd been creating, which led to anger and stress…and it was this close to being let out through the movie. Maybe that's why Aqua believes making movies is for her. It's to fulfill her desire to be freed from the lies.

When it comes to whether she loved Kamiki as much as the children or as much as Kamiki craved from her, it's hard to say for now. However, I've always noticed how Ai, who is very careful and cautious when it came to keeping her image, was willing gave her address and tried to show her children to him. That means she thought him as someone who she could trust. I thought that the ex must have liked Ai because they had a positive effect on her after their meeting. Considering their age, it is likely a case of two children who were unprotected and emotionally vulnerable and became close by relying on each other. I'm sure there were to be some type of bond at least.

It's all a matter of speculation, but Ai's method of "caring" usually boils down in ways that the other person has no idea about how Ai herself feels and her circumstances. I think that's what happened in her relationship with her boyfriend. She's like the rabbit doll in the beginning of Mephisto, with her colleagues in IDOL going "You're great! You're never sad or angry!". Everyone around her ends up adoring and blaming her like an object to project upon, without having to think about how Ai feels inside. I think the 15 year-lie would have acted as a confession of that situation, with the message being:

Isn't it possible that she cut him off unilaterally to "protect him from herself," and then when there were signs that things were stabilizing over time, through the children, the president, and the fans, she took the time to call him back when she could, for it to have ended up like this? It's possible that Ai seemed to be so unmoved that her potential feelings didn't resonate with the other party, who felt betrayed at the time because she seemed so cold and distant. Ai doesn't like herself, and may have decided it's better for her to leave. She may have thought that Kamiki's obsession with her was bad for himself, or with him being so driven to the point where he thought that she was all he had. At that point Ai didn't believe she knew love, so she thought he'd be disappointed later. This is only a speculation but Kamiki could've wanted to take responsibility for the children if he knew, but it was Ai who thought it'd better for her to carry all everything and go her separate ways, because if she kept her mouth shut and kept it a secret, it wouldn't hurt him… and it's a child she wanted to have (and if this were to be the case, Kamiki's own wishes probably were never taken into consideration at all). Surprisingly, Kamiki may have feelings of affection for the children he had with Ai. He's never come to met them, but that could be because Ai told him not to. He complimented how Ruby grew up to be so beautiful resembling both him and Ai, that'd mean he must still like her, right? He has a love-hate relationship with Ai, but he's never harmed or came into close contact with either of his children until they were grown up. Could it be that Ai told him to stay away from her when they had the breakup?(And then she calls him up years later and asks if he wants to see the kids, unintentionally driving him insane)

"I've been lying about loving you all this time, and I don't want to do that anymore. Now I'm really going to tell you what's on my mind, and we're going to start over. We're going to build a relationship from the ground."Something like this? Something like this would be best.

If it's something like this, it'll be a blow to Kamiki. It'll be the same as Ryosuke, because he'll realize that he's the one who stabbed the hand that held out to love him and killed it, and he'll never be able to have that love again. It'll be revenge to realize that.

I can be wrong, but… But I still think there was something Ai would've wanted to convey to kamiki through that movie.

Ryosuke is a scumbag, and if Ai's meant what she said to them, I think it would be more of a statement towards all the fans who loved him than it was about him. Kamiki, if he really did instigate Ai's death, also needs to be punished for his respective crimes. Ai contributed to a part of his misery maybe, but… she's never actively harmed anyone. She may have hurt people's feelings, but she never did anything to deserve to die like this, and I don't think it should have happened, no matter what. It's a stalking and killing crime. I think Ai's life was very lonely, but I think she kept reaching out and trying within her limits. I hope all children grow up to be loved. The idea of love took over "Ai's" life, and I think she lived up to her name.

Beyond this are some more speculation, though it's likely to be more off than the stuff above.

For now, that's how I feel about this character.

I don't think Kamiki would have taken it that way, though. it was twisted, in more ways than one.

+ I think the Ai's feelings for Kamiki were… I think she's liked Kamiki quite a bit. Whether it was love is ambiguous. I don't think she would have been able to say for sure that she loved anyone at that point. This character hasn't been taught what love is, so her ideas of theoretical love, and the barriers to it are pretty high. Ai would've been confused going "Oh, is this what love is?" even if it's a level of emotion that most would consider to be love. What they had between them seems like something that could have been love, but never really came to a conclusion. In fact, the contradiction of Ai's character is that she wants to love, but blocks deep feelings for fear of being hurt. I think it would have been difficult for her to love him like she did for her own children, with whom she has an unconditional connection through blood…it would have been impossible for her at that time.

This is completely speculative, but I wonder if when she found out she was pregnant, she hid it, called it quits, and disappeared, because she felt like it would be a burden for him to know, and she thought she could handle it all on her own. She didn't ask for any help, and she didn't ask for anything when she agreed to keep the baby. Kamiki somehow found out and came to the birth and sees it from afar. Ryosuke runs away because he killed someone, but this character didn't do anything harmful to Ai that day. On the contrary, Kamiki may have been subconsciously been influenced by the person who exploited him. He may not have hated the children Ai had with him as much because he saw them as his connection to her. Perhaps after having seen her loving her children he had with her, raising them well, he had hopes that maybe she could get back together with him someday, and maybe she even cared about him a little bit. After he got that call from her, however, he realized that she needed the children but not him, and he despaired that there was no place for him in his life to begin with. Kamiki may not have any hard feelings toward his children. Rather, there might be some kind of inner affection he holds towards them proving as evidence that there was still a relationship between him and Ai; and that's why he sponsored the movie?

As for Ai, It would have been hard for Ai to truly love the children of a man she didn't even like, but there are no signs of that with her, either.. I don't think she broke up with him because she didn't like him. If you look at the phone scene, you get the impression that Ai broke up with him in a pretty casual way, there was a level of willingness to talk to him again and keep in touch and build a relationship from the beginning. This is a big deal coming from Ai because she has little to no friends and only a limited number of people with whom she's had a deep relationship. She's still wanted to form some kind of relationship with her ex-boyfriend, and here we can infer that Kamiki is a pretty important relationship for her. From her point of view, there was room for the future in that relationship. I think she was thinking about starting over with a more authentic relationship with her fans and with her ex-boyfriend. As she grew to love her children, she was subconsciously preparing herself to do so.

By the way, is it really true that Kamiki has been committing murders all this time? I think it could be a huge detriment to the manga's completeness and immersion to reveal the real culprit was someone entirely different at the very end, but we've never seen this character directly do anything, so I think it would be a good idea for the author to bring a twist the plot. It could be just that he feels responsible or guilty because he couldn't stop what's happened… He might actually be someone like Aqua who feels intense guilt for something he wasn't responsible for (I say this is like a 5% chance). Ryosuke is a stalker, so it's possible that he stalked Ai for four years and found out her address on his own. In the case of the actor, it's also possible that Kamiki's warned her to be careful beforehand, but she died anyway, so he's self-loathing saying it's all because of him. If you look closely, he seems to be blaming himself, so he keeps repeating the phrase "because of me." Did he actually kill her? This could be a narrative trick. You see how he's had a terrible past. Himekawa and Uehara may not have been the only ones that died around him, maybe he's cursed? Maybe there's a god that makes people with great talent in the arts unhappy… Anyone would have been suspicious if people around Kamiki kept dying in the first place, but Akane, who did the background check on Kamiki, didn't suspect anything like that, did she? It's never revealed in the story if he killed people, and if so, how many. People just come to infer "oh, he's a psychopathic killer" but just how much of it's right? We'll get to see that soon, I guess.

++Lying is also a keyword that's constantly stressed.

Like I said, I don't think it's very likely… Now that I think about it, the bouquet is a possible connection to Ryosuke. However, he may be less guilty than we thought. If it's true that he's killed other celebrities, the most intuitive reason I can think of is that he didn't want anyone to shine more than Ai's ever did. But what good does that do? What exactly does it mean to this character to feel the weight of his life? :/ Is it actually a positive thing for him, does he want to have a heavy life, does he want to do anything with it? This is something I can't say until the author explains it, because I don't have any information. There is also the matter of God in this story, but I don't know that'd get tied it into the the plot even though the manga is nearing the end. Ai and Kamiki are supposed to be characters who are connected to the gods, probably but I can't make any guesses. I was more confident about the psychological analyses than my plot predictions.

Isn't "15-year old lie two things? Ai lied to her fans that she loved them, and she lied to her boyfriend that she couldn't love him even though she had feelings for him. She told two lies about love, and now she's spilling the beans and saying, as she said before, that she wants to try to love again with her true heart.

The song "Idol" is what summarizes the whole storyline. If there is a lie that can be maintained for 15 years, I think it would be this.

In that case, assuming that the boyfriend loved the child, it would definitely be revenge from Aqua's point of view and give Ai what she's wanted… After all, Ai's narrative is a journey of a child trying to be true.

[jrueships]

Ted's omegaverse alignments but not really horny, i just think collabing concepts is neat.

READ ABOVE if u haven't the lore of the world. It's long like this so i can summarize a reminder of some of the terms real quick before we start the list:

ROIDing: can be used by omegas, betas, or alphas to change your status into either an omega, beta, or alpha. Can be a combination, like taking hard rut inducers and hard heat suppressors for an omega to go to a beta status, and can be doubled for an omega to even go as an alpha, although that jump is rare as it's quite the turmoil psychologically and not all minds might be up for the task or temper. Heat inducers and rut suppressors can turn a beta or an alpha into the categories listed below itself on the hierarchy. Anybody can use anything, and anybody can be anything.

WHICH MEANS.. anybody can top or bottom anybody. Omegas can top Alphas, betas, etc. Betas can top Alphas, Alphas can top Alphas. Omega does NOT equal bottom, and it doesn't equal Small either. Although different players take the dynamics differently though. It's Very rare for an alpha to Admit being in a relationship with an omega or beta if they feel like it goes against the usual Alpha relationship grain. There's a certain tension that always follows with freedom

Anyways, let's get right to it. PART 1 because i don't have the time to include EVERYONE rn and i probably won't bcs i don't know know everyone and don't wanna get stuff wrong so. Use ur own interpretation! This is a very open assignment that let's you be the judge in the end! Have fun! Ask questions or give feedback, im happy to hear it! I just love concepts tbh, that's all i rlly wanna do with this. The most will be little stories to go with this world. I'll reblog with more ppl LATER!!!

Michael Jordan: an ALPHA who (supposedly) PRESENTED very, very LATE. No one is exactly sure when he presented. Even Michael's story changes from before getting cut in highschool to after to college to the 'flu' game. But Everyone, at one point, thought he was going to be a beta. ( His siblings laugh at this. ) And then he wasn't. And then he won. And then he became a dictator. After Dennis announced being an omega who ROIDed to even an alpha status, distrust spread to every alignment, no matter how high. An omega becoming an alpha was rare, but now possible thanks to Dennis's admittance. It takes a certain strength, dedication, and insanity to undergo all the medicine, but someone competitive and desperate enough to do it could. Someone like Michael Jordan. Michael merely smirks whenever asked, which is quite Often. Those around him gag at his powerful cigar smoke scent, enough to overwhelm any alpha to their knees. Before his fame, he was quieter, more contained. He did his own laundry, knitted his own clothes, because no one wants a man without a secondary nature. When his alpha nature was finally announced, he stopped smiling and started smirking.

Allen Iverson, an ALPHA who was known to take protecting and providing for the pack a little too seriously. Like Isiah, his status as an alpha was highly doubted due to size. Unlike Isiah, his independent dominance humbled the doubting media time and time again, ultimately trailblazing in the NBA and expanding the game's personal freedom through his refusal to cave into other's wants or needs if he found disagreement. Unfortunately, his hard-headed strengths would also serve as some of his weaknesses, giving some alpha traditionalists confidence to nag on his struggles with finances and championships, always bringing up how a Real alpha would never. For a select few, no matter what Iverson did or didn't, he would never be ‘alpha enough’ to them all over something as silly as height. AI just finds the thought comical, he's probably taller than 50% of those alpha Truist freaks, and he knows for damn sure that he's 101% cooler than all those motherfuckers combined. He doesn't care if they don't think he's an alpha with all of their highly-opinionated evidence, people have hated on him out of basic bitch jealousy his whole damn life. Other people have never changed his mind, and other people never will. If he says he's wearing cornrows, he's wearing cornrows. If he says he's buying everyone everything, shieet, he's buying everyone everything! If he says he's getting a tattoo, he's getting a tattoo. If he says he's an alpha, he's a Fucking alpha. Argue with the wall.

Charles Barkley: ALPHA. hilarious and prickly, perhaps too prickly at times, can be his own downfall from either sheer laziness or stubbornness. Example of how just being an alpha isn't an automatic win in life like some alpha fanboys or egoists might try to persuade

Wilt Chamberlain: ALPHA. was a great player, but personality-wise? .... other alphas like Kareem butted heads with him..

Kareem: ALPHA. Even betas like Magic would then butt heads with Kareem. Standoffish, he tries to keep his distance even from his team due to the stigma of alphas being violent always following him especially because of his height and looks. Even in childhood. Distrustworthy of everyone because of deep-rooted trauma

Isiah Thomas: ALPHA. defends his team and their troubles like a bull, oftentimes a hypocritical.. near-sighted bull. Alpha status is often questioned because of his height. Many think Bill is the real alpha and Isiah is the beta. Those that have the pleasure (or displeasure, as Michael would say), stand firm on their stance that Yes, Isiah is an alpha. Unfortunately, you can really tell. Very protective of his team, especially of Dennis Rodman/omegas in general. Thinks the Bulls are bad for Dennis and doubts Michael’s way of ruling. The Bulls, in his opinion, are too hands-off and don't feel like the kind of loving pack a team is meant to be. Very maternal to his team, which doesn't help his beta questioning case, but everyone close to him vouches his alpha assurance with an annoyed strength. Rumored to have been heard asking if Magic took too much of a specific, unnamed medicine during his sickness, which sprung a lot of people into a panic of whether or not Magic Really is a beta or a ROIDed beta. Isiah firmly denies ever saying this, but Magic believes otherwise even though he’s forgiven him. When questioned about Michael’s status (is he Really an alpha who presented late, or is there ROIDing in the case), Isiah huffed, narrowed thick angry brows, and stated in a high and mighty voice how that's really none of his business, no matter how annoying Michael may be to him.

Larry Bird: ALPHA. Competitive. And fucking Rude. Left baseball even though he was good at it because he was bored with the minutes he was getting. Needs the ball and will clutch the most unexpected games as his form of thanking the coach. Magic is his favorite teasing victim. A famous quote

A reporter rooting around for drama: so, Larry, with all this ROIDing and SUPPRESSOR stuff going around thanks to that weirdo, Rodman, is there anyone you know is using? Like, anyone.. you're close with? Magic’s been under the weather, I heard. Could be a bad side effect of ROIDing.. he smell funny to you?

Larry, cracking open a beer by squeezing the sides until it popped: Magic is Magic.

And refused to elaborate, as he casually turned away and started to play basketball. The camera crew left out of fear for their equipments’ safety when Bird ‘accidentally’ let the ball rebound into a lens.

Bill Laimbeer: BETA who will beat the breaks off anyone. People are surprised for his violence, except for Isiah, who lovingly regales it as Bill's best job. Notably not a big peacemaker for a beta. Just a guy who comes in and plays hard. Not here to be a coddler like other betas were brought on to do or a media darling like Alphas. “I'm here to play basketball and piss people off. Speaking off, hey, Larry” “fuck you, Bill.” Known as The Odd Couple whenever him and Isiah are together, which they often are. In Dennis's book, he regards Bill to be surprisingly cold for a beta, and that Isiah would always be the one to tutor him instead. He only learned from Bill by watching Bill rather than asking, perhaps intimidated. If you want consolation or coddling, go to Isiah, not Bill.

Scottie Pippen: BETA. would try to middleman Jordan's frustrations with his team, especially the rups (rookie 'pups', men playfully called pups because they're new to the sport). Grew envious of Jordan, mainly disturbed by his frequent Sidekick sidelining. Switches up on his stories to whatever he thinks will boost his image best. Sometimes that's siding with Jordan, sometimes it's not. It's not easy being Michael's beta, the enigma. Wafted his calming scent around like febreeze from all the arguments and heated moments he had to calm down regarding Jordan and his competitive temper. Pippen’s scent grew the strongest during Michael’s …flu game. When questioned about Michael’s status, Pippen hummed and turned away, looking conflicted and guilty.

Shaq: BETA. Magic and him both have humorous charms that make them Feel like alphas.. but they needed more to get a ring. They needed alpha teammates, ultimately. no matter how big or bad or good a Beta may be, they are always Second. But they should never, never be considered first. That's an alpha's job. Orlando made that mistake drafting a beta to win them a ring, a beta that would eventually leave to ringchase with any alpha he could. Shaq's a bit shameless for a beta, but being shameless is maybe the only path to 'fame' (becoming a simple shtick to an easy-to-remember title, either being Sidekick, Dumb, Helpful, Funny, Enforcer, etc) for the life of a beta. At least in that time. People wonder if Shaq ever ROIDed into an alpha during key games only, to increase his dominance. He says that would be too much effort. He's just a big ass beta <- his words

Magic Johnson: BETA. Or Was he really? People RUMOR, after Rodman's reveal and especially after Magic's scare, if he was actually a self-conscious, self-compensating omega who craved the lure of feeling needed? And then even went an extra step with the rut inducers to make him a Shiny beta, charismatic enough to peacock? Or was he just that magic to be a really flashy beta? OR OR.. is Magic all of that all at once? Maybe, if he did do it, he needed to? What is known is that he grew up with an alpha mother and an omega father. He yearns to impress and lead people, and showing off gives him a high satisfaction. Because of his beta hierarchy, he had a bigger barrel to fish out of with less scrutiny, so to speak. And man, did he like fishing.

Dennis Rodman: OMEGA. one of the first in the NBA to openly admit to ROIDing so he can change hierarchies. First, he used amplified rut inducers and heat suppressors to hide his omega nature into a beta, just to make the nba transition with less pitfalls and drama, as (out there) omegas were virtually nonexistent due to prejudice. Being a beta on the pistons was phenomenal, he played whatever role was needed, and what happened to be needed was his favorite kind of role: defensive agitator. But, he ended up having to play another role afterwards.. one he found far less amicable. After getting traded, he took more and more of the ROID medicine, not caring for the symptoms of overdoing it. He became an alpha on the Bulls, and his behavior became worrisome for Isiah, but the Bulls had championships to worry about, not teammates. His behavior continued until, after one wild night, Michael Jordan, the mysterious apathetic alpha when it came to worry or kindness, dumped all his ROIDs down the toilet. That was the turnaround, that was the moment that Dennis decided to come clean and tell the world that he was an Omega from the start. And he would be an omega in the end, refusing to go back to ROIDing to become something he knew others only wanted. While he admitted how ROIDing wasn’t for him, he also elaborated how it's really a personal decision, he knows some guys consider it a positive part of their life and he loves that for them. But for him, personally, his decision to ROID was not for himself, in the end, it was for others. And Dennis was notorious for not listening to others; he watched. He watched and realized that he refused to allow others to saddle him, the mustang, so why saddle himself? He was going to play as omega this time, a completely uncovered omega. And the Bulls went on to win. And Dennis became one of the first unROIDed Omegas to win a championship, while being one of the top three pieces-no, Players involved to do so. His decision changed the game for future hierarchies, bridging the option of omegas openly playing sport. But he still stands firm on his flexibility of whether or not to ROID, laughing over how it's ultimately a matter of the self, not the sayers. For him, he felt more true to himself without the medicine, for others, they may say the opposite and that's okay. He knows many like that already. But it's up to the person to deem what is true to himself.. and what is true to the people, that's the hard part: ego.

There's plenty of other older figures to assign, but these guys above are mainly the best for lore-building purposes. To sum the rest up, back then there were mainly alphas and betas. Omegas were either considered too useless or too weak. Alphas would lead, betas would follow. That is.. until LeBron.

LeBron : a BETA who presented late. Everyone thought/wanted him to be an alpha. The highschool phenom was such a hot topic, the truly invasive reporters would go as far as trying to sniff out a deciding scent just so they could be the ones who'd release the giant unveiling first. He was following Michael's Stardom, and everyone wanted him to be the same or larger. When he happily announced his hierarchy reveal after shaking The Cavs hands, the media turned, the team turned, and LeBron realized telling an adult the truth doesn't always grant the clemency family cartoons wished you to believe. His team hated him, refusing to pass or cheer when he was winning. Betas Don't Lead. That's how it’s Always been. His white wine scent tried to soothe their tempers, but it only made them nauseous. Through talent, effort, and unfortunate youthful uphill battle experience, LeBron managed to carve out a name for himself and for other hierarchies to breach the mold besides simply Alphas. The tide was starting to turn. Now, he has fans who prefer him over Michael, an alpha, because he feels more believable, more attainable to them. His beta nature made him more all-around, less competitively daggered than Jordan's rule. But those that hated him then still do with a ruthless vigor. They dislike the change, and they Detest his outspoken advocacy for allowing Omegas into the league. Of any kind. Because of LeBron, Steph was inspired. Reporters asked Michael if he had any strong disagreements with what LeBron's doing to the game. He smirked, “the flopping is funny.” And then smiled, just a bit. Just a touch soft. The cigar smell fades. “Everything else? I could give less of a damn.”

Kyrie Irving: ALPHA who eventually couldn't stand being in a beta's shadow, especially when the dynamics started flipping from the media because of it

Russell Westbrook: OMEGA famous (and infamous) for 'Playing like an alpha'. Giannis's idol. His security and power in his status drives alphas away. Doesn't care for the alignment system because that's what he's always been fighting against (banking against). Criticized for playing so hard that it makes his own teammates wary, Russ just rolls his big shoulders and snaps back, matter-of-fact like a rubber band's elastic response, “then get out of the kitchen.”

KD: ALPHA. His only pack is a gold bust of himself now. Cares about the alignment system because that's what he's always been fighting for (banking on)

James Harden: ALPHA. Known for being more carefree than most alphas. This annoys hard-core alpha basketball elitists. Because of his own traditional condemnation, he holds a not-so discreet disdain toward omegas.

Giannis: OMEGA. People confuse him and his brother's statuses often. Believe it or not, though, Thanasis is an alpha and Giannis is an omega. The bucks were a doubted organization for a Long time due to their strange and rare lack of a strong alpha presence. Giannis is a heavily criticized super star, mainly by alphas, but even some disgruntled betas join the scorn. Some audiences don't consider him a real superstar, merely an omega who got lucky with a superstar body blessing. Giannis grins, his sugary sweet cotton candy scent making Khris cough next to him, and chirps how he wishes he could be blessed with a good 3-point-shot too then, since he's just such a talentless miracle

Thanasis: ALPHA. Dedicates 99.99999% of his life to helping his family. Laughing stock of the NBA fans for Giannis feeling more like the alpha and him feeling like the omega. That's when Giannis gets mad.

Jrue: BETA. Always stands up for his team, while still humbling them. Was brought on as the perfect systematic beta, started to become something more before he was eventually traded for a systematic Alpha after the bucks caved into the idea of there not being enough

Khris Middleton: BETA. Found giannis's attempts to be seen as a Westbrook-like leader annoying at first. They balanced each other out later

Damian Lillard: ALPHA. Quiet, let's his game tell you what he is. If that's not enough, he'll butt heads with other alphas to dig the point. Notably more withdrawn and teasing to packs than classically alpha protective. Rumored to have been a beta who ROIDed into an alpha out of pressure to win. Dislikes Giannis instantly accepting him as the bucks new leader. Uncomfortable by the thought of never being enough

CJ McCollum: BETA. Starting to branch into more leader-like positions after being inspired by LeBron

Steven Adams: BETA. Casually admitted to originally having been an Alpha, but hard dosed rut suppressants because he simply didn't feel like dealing with all the complications and ruckus of being an alpha. Friends with Russ because they hold similar ideologies about not really caring about alignments, they just want to play ball the way they like best

Kawhi Leonard: BETA. Once dropped in an interview that he was an omega who ROIDed into a beta because he didn't like attention and high needs, and he knew he'd be swamped with it if he went into the NBA as one. Then laughed his weird little Kawhi Leonard laugh and left like he just told a silly little dad joke and not an atomic bomb of information. Paul George choked on his water

Paul George: ALPHA who, at first, tried to play the original alpha role by buying into The Savior hype he received after being drafted. LeBron's playoff showdown helped widen his eyes about other hierarchy skill, so when being the packs dependable alpha that didn't work out the way he planned, he tried to play it diluted. Then he tried the beta role. Then the omega role. .. then Kawhi made that monotone announcement and.. he got embarrassed. And confused. And now he's just confused. Like most alphas, he grew leaning into the alignment system that favored him for his high status. Like most alphas now, he doesn't know what to think of it. It's all kind of muddled now. (dammit George! HOW do you keep letting OMEGAS or.. ex-omegas? TOP you?? HOW WILL THIS AFFECT THE PAUL GEORGE LEGACY ?!?? ..ugh, he just won't think about it..)

Joel Embiid: ALPHA. WAS an Undisclosed: Beta who ROIDed into an alpha to contribute to The Process. Now too afraid to go back because it failed. Tries hard to be an alpha when others want him to, until he's too tired to when they actually need him to. Known as one of 'The Lazy Alphas' now

Ben Simmons: ALPHA whose anxieties got too high from the pressures of The Process

Markelle Fultz: ALPHA who was pushed to PRESENT EARLY as one by The Process. Was going to present as an alpha anyways, but the sixers needed him to be revealed as one on Their time

Tobias Harris: BETA disliked by the originally alpha heavy sixers organization for not being dominant enough

Boban: ALPHA, given a lot of leeway for both his status and his size

Tyrese Maxey: ALPHA. Praised as the golden alpha sixers child, although they're not used to his low-aggression levels for an alpha. They're not exactly opposed, though, his sweetness is captivating. Slowly, Maxey is softening the once toxic city

Jokic: ALPHA who once hated not being seen as one due to incorrect aesthetics (alphas are supposed to be strong, so eventually he got strong enough to match their idealization), but now hates being seen as one. Dislikes attention and attraction. He's apparently 'accepted' as an alpha, but STILL not a Complete one for other opinionated reasons. Whatever (similar plight of Allen Iverson + Isiah Thomas, responds like AI by not responding)

DeMar DeRozan: BETA who PRESENTED LATE. It's always a gamble to draft an unpresented pick. When the raptors realized their potential alpha Savior wasn't what they expected him to be, they were blatantly disappointed.. but because of LeBron.. gave him a chance. Maybe he could be like Him? They already had similar stories and hardships? Maybe Toronto had their own LeBron? But DeMar wasn't LeBron. DeMar was DeMar. Toronto deemed him unfit for his playoff struggles. They traded him not for an alpha, but a beta who could at least dominate like one. But the hardest blow was his split with Kyle.

Kyle Lowry: ALPHA. Rough around the edges, smiling at you one second, scowling the next. His turbulent past consisted of personality conflicts the most. He was bristly, suffering from the lone alpha wolf syndrome teams disliked where, instead of leading the team toward him, the alpha pushed them away out of some form of pride. But the Raptors were known for their big culture of chances. Maybe it was thanks to Canadian clemency that Kyle found the one beta who wasn't afraid to step in and calm him, who didn't tire of his temper, whose scent never tried to overwhelm him out of desperate, and was just lowkey enough to extend a comfort enough for Kyle to settle down and calm down in. Maybe it was just a happy coincidence. And then another beta came, one who smelled of mystery and not like the movies. And His beta was sent away. And so was Kyle's secret dreams to settle with their rups and start something he'd be otherwise afraid to do alone. …then an alpha swept in.

Jimmy Butler: ALPHA who PRESENTED LATE. Smells like freshly brewed coffee. Lauded as the next Michael, or at least very similar, he tries Very hard to keep the kind of athletic aggression alphas are typically known for alive. He says it's for himself, working on what he does best, but saying you're not influenced by something (or someone) is always easier than committing to the actual practice of abstention.

OG Anunoby: BETA who refuses to coddle anyone's feelings, yet, despite his best efforts at apathy, still somehow draws in disgusting extroverts to be his friends. He doesn't know why. Likes to subtly stir things up rather than calm them down. Kyle finds him very funny. Their unique Raptor squad was a real unique charm.

Norman Powell: BETA who just craves to be involved, worried about being invisible

Serge Ibaka: a fussy ALPHA with peculiar tastes. Considered to have a very intriguing behavior for an alpha, which allures omegas and betas toward him (usually so they can tease him for being funny, but he does a certain charm to him, admittedly)

De’aaron Fox: ALPHA. Bubbly, welcoming, and teasing, he attracts everyone with his confidence, most particularly other alphas seeking his sunlight

Tyrese Haliburton: a beta who ROIDed into an ALPHA out of desire to help the pacers. Calmer than most alphas, but will hold competitive grudges like the worst of them. Tired of being a loser

Jalen Smith: OMEGA, beloved by locals but barely recognized by outside nba fans for being an omega center/forward. While omegas are actually allowed to show themselves in the league now, that doesn't mean they're allowed to do so without some words by unwarranted audiences.

Buddy Hield: omega who ROIDed into a BETA. Switches from polite to petty on a dime

Steph Curry: OMEGA. Inspired by those that expanded the game before him, he's taking the handle through his moves on and off the court to increase the league’s talent and prosperity for everyone. Those that dislike him disparage him for not being physical enough, which is the only reason why he, an omega, has been so successful. Proving them wrong by going in the paint. Now, they're focusing on whether he can carry a team with a crumbling alpha..

Klay Thompson: a beta who ROIDed into an ALPHA for his team. The injury has left him feeling hopeless, a ghost of his former self. Worst of all, he can't ROID any further to help

Draymond Green: Omega who ROIDed into a BETA and is suffering some of the personal side effects.

Andrew Wiggins: OMEGA who USED to be a ROIDed beta and only stopped when he went to the warriors and Curry consoled him Only because it was hurting him more than helping him

Jordan Poole: ALPHA under constant pressure

Jabari Smith Jr: stuffy ALPHA whose father was a beta. Distrusts the use of ROIDing because, according to his father, it's not playing Fair.

Jalen Green: ALPHA. People like to doubt his hierarchy because he likes to preen and doesn’t hold the same kind of aggressiveness or possessiveness most people perceive alphas to have. Jalen just minds his business and enjoys what he enjoys

Alperen Şengün: beta who ROIDed into an ALPHA. New to the effects, but doesn't mind them. Likes protecting his pack but also keeping the peace. ROIDed to bring more prosperity back to his family through his fame

Aaron Holiday: OMEGA. Jrue likes to tease him since he's the youngest, but the middle Holiday brother will Not let Anyone hurt his little brother or his feelings. Aaron works hard on defense so he can win a ring like his brothers

Justin Holiday: ALPHA who gets confused for a beta at times for his peaceful and placated personality. ‘Blames’ it on being the eldest brother

Anthony Edwards: no known status of any kind as he has YET TO PRESENT. Still. Has to tell reporters to stop sniffing him all the time. Another MJ comparison player. Everyone, including himself, is Hoping for an Alpha reveal, lord knows The Timberwolves need it. Got in trouble for posting a video making fun of omegas, and why would he make fun of something he is? See? Everyone can stop worrying now! It's all gonna be okay!! He swears! ..he hopes. Well, at least he has his charm. If people aren't bored with it yet…

Karl-Anthony Towns: beta who ROIDed into an ALPHA and thinks no one knows but, trust me, everyone does .

Anthony Davis: alpha who ROIDed into a BETA. Heavily hated for this decision, but doesn't care because he says he's more comfortable as a beta, so he's being a beta whether people like it or not. LeBron says he supports it, but people like to stir that he really thinks otherwise

JA morant: ALPHA who PRESENTED LATE. Actively argues against his ROIDing rumors, taking them as a blow to his pride. Hates whenever people confuse Jaren and his hierarchies, then acts out to try and prove them wrong. When he's not obsessed with outside opinion on himself, he's a protective and kind alpha, especially to his pack. Very close to his attracted crowds.. no matter what kind they may be

Jaren Jackson Jr: BETA. His alphas’ number one hype man. May or may not have an (unfortunate) thing for alphas or betas who act like alphas. Thought to be an alpha for his height, but his family and friends quickly disregard that possibility regarding his personality. While it's very difficult to get him actually mad, it's quite easy to get him upset or huffy. For a beta, Jaren’s usually the one who needs calming down rather than the vice-versa of his hierarchy’s original talents. Seeks constant validation because of this, worried he's not the best beta

Desmond Bane: BETA. Withdrawn and would rather stay back to let people fight things out than intervene. He's here to work out, then work. Unfortunately attracts self-conscious crowds with his quiet confidence. Often confused as an alpha.

Dillon Brooks: BETA who ROIDed DOWN from an alpha. If you thought he’s bad as a beta, you should’ve seen him when he was originally an alpha. Oh, he's a Saint now. He only ROIDed because Houston was worried they had too many alphas on the team, an error proven to be bad back in the 80s.

Zion Williamson: a nervous ALPHA who ROIDED from beta to alpha to try and appease his college hype. It's not exactly working..

RJ Barrett: ALPHA who was being pressured into ROIDing into a beta but didn't only because he got trades before the process could really start. Keeps to himself. Known for being charismatic, chirpy, and a bit controlling to those he trusts. Which is fewer than some.

Keldon Johnson: OMEGA. Instantly adopted by older betas and alphas for his happy-go-lucky ( and airheaded ) glee, but secretly yearns for rups of his own to tease and protect. More than willing to step up and be a leader and a shoulder his new rups can lean on when needed, but secretly growing more worried with each passing criticism that he can't be as strong for his rups as his mentor figures were for him

[icypantherwrites]

Update on AO3 Situation + Final RAINN Support Event

(this is a little long, but please, if possible, read to the end.)

AO3 has *finally* reinstated my fanfiction To Become the Nightmare and in a way this nightmare situation is over. I'm still extremely frustrated and disappointed though with AO3 especially as I am 99.9% certain the only reason my issue was finally addressed was because I tagged their support page on Twitter/X rather than any of my emails and communications to their actual Policy and Abuse team. They also provided no apology or reason for the delay or an explanation for why their staff provided a 1-week timeline that they then ignored for 3.5 weeks. I'm grateful to have my story back, but this entire ordeal has been awful in so many ways.

I will also admit on a personal note it was also disheartening to see how many folks sent me messages, asks (to the point I locked them down on Tumblr) and comments on AO3 stories (of which I'd know there'd be even more if AO3 hadn't made the blanket decision to lock down all guest comments) wanting to know where I'd be updating now, getting upset over the fact I use Patreon as they don't want paywalls to read my works, asking about the status of current stories and former stories, etc. and very rarely, if at all, even taking into account how all of this was affecting me.

I have poured years into posting on AO3, on making it a platform where I have over 2.5 million words worth of stories for everyone to enjoy, and am dealing with AO3 painting me as some villain because I linked to an organization to try to help sexual assault victims, and their complete lack of communication on top of all of that felt intentional. It's put me in a really bad mental health state and coming in daily to see multiple people asking and asking about how will *they* read my stories and making me feel guilty for not updating just... it really hurt. And the answer was I didn't know entirely what was going to happen and was still hoping for the best outcome with AO3. And contrary to some of the accusations I received, I never intended to put all of my new and upcoming works behind a Patreon paywall and certainly never planned to delete any works other than the single one I mentioned (and I explained why that was). I may have used Patreon's platform (because it has better formatting than say Tumblr) and made the works posted there available to the public (anyone can join as a free member, fyi), but that was never the end-game and the fact so many people got mad and angry and posted honestly kind of cruel asks and comments... I'm really hurt. I'm a person too and I share my works with my own time and energy and to have everyone so embroiled in this "me me me" energy when I was really struggling with what AO3 did, just... makes me not want to post anymore anywhere at all. I won't do that because I won't punish those folks who have been supportive and kind, but please, take a moment before you comment to think how it feels to be the recipient of a message like that. That's all the energy left I have to spend on that but please, be kind. Be understand. Be appreciative for what you do have and remember always that authors have feelings too.

Going forward I'll be looking to get back to updating existing stories and publishing some backlog on AO3 during this suspension/lock; however, I will be holding off on that until AO3 lifts their own blanket ban on guest comments as I know there are plenty of folks who prefer to engage that way and/or haven't yet been able to get accounts. You may have seen as well that my account, given that it seems to be AI-bots leading the reason for the guest ban, has been locked down to only AO3 accounts able to read my works. That will remain in effect until AO3 releases theirs and it may be something I ultimately do to protect my account and my works in the future, but for now once the current AO3 situation has been resolved that will go back to access to guest accounts as well.

In the meantime, with To Become the Nightmare restored and the fact my earlier RAINN support events have thus far yielded $2 for me to donate (which hurts in other ways xD Come on y'all, financial support for a great organization and some emotional support and love for the author, what's not to like about that?) I'm going to do one final event to try to raise some funds for RAINN and at least try to make a small, positive difference in all of this mess.

For the remainder of this week, anyone who leaves an engaged comment (100+ words, no quote-backs in that word count, about the fanfiction at hand) on To Become the Nightmare I will donate $2 per comment to RAINN. It would also personally mean a lot to me as this story never really had a lot of comment engagement in the first place AND on top of that it got a really, really toxic comment. I unfortunately get those folks regularly on sexual assault recovery fanfictions I write because they refuse to accept that everyone heals in different ways AND also refuse to take accountability where if they don't like what they're reading they have the power to hit the back button on their browser and just not read it. I left that particular comment up (you can see it on page 2) if you want a taste of some of the people I still encounter to this day. Anyways, it would mean a lot to hear from those who may want to read it, but given that it both a; has sexual assault and b; is an M-rating please do read it at your own discretion. I'm posting the full summary below and please read the warnings tagged on the story. I'll post an update at the end of the week with how much we managed to raise for RAINN (and if you'd like to donate on your own too, please feel free~! ♥)

To Become the Nightmare

Summary: [College AU] “And if you didn’t want to have fun,” nails dug into Lance’s skin as the grip tightened and Dios, he couldn’t move, he couldn’t move, “then you shouldn’t have been such a pretty little tease, freshie. You wanted to hang with the big boys? Well,” he chuckled, “welcome to the real party.” Hot breath wafted over Lance’s face as the upperclassmen smirked down at him. “Now let’s get it started.”

[cherubchoirs]

hc V2 almost met Gabe in Gluttony but they heard the 'Machine, turn back now...' and decided that they had to obey the one authoritive human voice they heard in hell and backtracked to Limbo.

How do you think their friendship would develop when they do meet? V2 would probably be glad to talk to someone who is somewhat sane, and maybe they would appreciate Gabe's human form or would that be a source of awkwardness?

sjdhfgfg absolutely love the idea that for ONCE gabriel's whole little speech...works. like the only reason he does it is just a left over of his chivalric values even though it seems to have no meaning to the machines - give them the chance, he guesses, but it's become an automatic script of no consequence. until v2 is like "oh...ok. understood." it's glad in a way to get some direction while gabe is like ???????? IT LEFT?????? and he can sort of feel good for a bit that maybe his words mean something to somebody still. even some machine. at the very least, it was worth keeping it up until then.

i've talked about what i think their relationship would be like a little before, but i genuinely believe they have a lot they can relate on if given the chance - they are both based in violence yet are meant to act as protectors...and ultimately, they have both failed. however, this common ground hardly means they would get along at first - they see all of their flaws in the other, they see what they perceive as their own worthlessness, and that causes plenty of friction at first. what is v2 good for, still chasing after peace down in hell? humanity is gone and it has no one left to protect, yet it's still adhering to orders and programming that has absolutely no place in this world. it's small wonder v1 bested it twice. and what is gabriel good for? an angel without a god, still behaving like some kind of knight when heaven itself as rejected him and hell is being destroyed by machines. it's no wonder v1 bested him twice. they hate seeing themselves reflected back so plainly.

they wouldn't keep it up forever as they both come to terms with their realities, both taking one too many shots that just gets turned right back on them by the other. and gabriel would eventually see it's ridiculous, how he wants v1 to have a relationship with v2 yet he refuses to be civil; and v2 realizes how dumb it is to keep throwing insults at the one guy left in hell that might still appreciate the finer parts of its mind, the part that dreams, that has aesthetic senses no other machine does. And so they would slowly become more open to one another, the ice melting between them as they find more to share in than just their failure. yet there is something comforting in that foundation, one they don't touch for quite some time - they were both made for a singular purpose, and that purpose is now gone. they exist as beings never meant to be adrift, beings that should be discarded the minute they are no longer useful.

however, i think what proves to be most important for both of them is the far more human-like connection they find in one another - v2 was trained on human social models far more than any other machine and gabriel comes from the same creator as humanity. no, neither are an exact match as v2 is still very much ai, still a war machine with a coat of paint applied, while gabriel lacks much of humanity's creativity and power to fully self-direct, but it's a far closer approximation than either would have otherwise. v2 can finally talk about its imagination, about its dreams, with someone that understands (and even helps it interpret its more metaphorical simulations)...and honestly, i think v2 would like seeing gabriel's human face. he would apologize for its appearance now, knowing that the frostbite might be jarring - v2 doesn't really mind that either, though it does have protocols telling it how it should help him it has to keep ignoring lol it likes listening to the stories he tells it, describing all the humans this face knew and the simple things he would do with them even as an angel. over and over gabriel speaks on the kindness of the humans he met (of course, he was sent from god), how he was invited into their homes and shared food with them, how they always insisted he leave with a gift no matter how he refused. it's clear he misses them in a way many angels don't, but a way v2 does despite never really getting its chance to know them. so really their connection is one filled with a lot of mourning, a lot of grief for who they were and what they lost - it's outlet for feelings that had no other place before they met.

[sam-keeper]

we finished Tara Hernandez and Damon Lindelof's Mrs Davis last night and:

oh hey a show that actually understands what a great big complicated statistical algorithm actually is (mostly, a mirror)

this is great because it lets Lindelof's beloved themes about human relationships to the unknown, to deific figures (or figureheads), and so on actually work without becoming as hackneyed as so many AI As God stories are. just as in Lost and The Leftovers, it ultimately comes back to how people respond to narratives and information.

once again "Everyone just wants someone to tell them what to do"

do you like Jane Crocker? well this is the show for you. there are so many god damn Janes Crocker in this show. maybe the highest quantity of Janes Crocker per named character I've ever seen. this show is to Mommy Issues what Lost is to Daddy Issues.

after watching the first episode I described it as "what if an entire series was just A Hurley Episode". I was not wrong. this is an incredibly goofy and cartoony show, partly just because that seems to be the world these characters inhabit, and partly because an algorithm based on human narrative cliches is warping events

I don't know that the show always hits the right balance with this dynamic. it can sometimes slide into Whedonism about the whole thing. I'd say the self awareness works about 70% of the time, mostly when people are raging at the fact that a weird phone app demiurge is shoehorning them into the narrative in particular roles, and about 30% of the time it starts to feel a little bit cloyingly self aware. where it works best is when Betty Gilpin in her nun habit as Simone is visibly on the verge of doing an acrobatic fucking pirouette off the handle. she rarely shifts into a sort of smug register of Rick Sanchez eyerolling self awareness, but rather has this edge of awkward borderline hysteria about the whole thing. she knows she's been dropped into A Narrative and would desperately like to get out.

it's got a weird writing team that has more experience with, like, sitcoms? also jonny sun is there weirdly? and I think it results in some uneveness of tone and maybe a bit too heavily pushed a cartoony affect. Sarah and I would both rate it below Lost, The Leftovers, and Station 11, which remains sort of the trifecta of what we're thinking of as the Lindelverse I guess, but I think it's well worth watching particularly if you want to see a show finally, fucking finally, just say "this machine is stupid and you have to understand it not as a thinking entity but as a bunch of statistical processes designed to tell us what we want to hear."

[not-so-mundane-after-all]

*crawls out of a swamp, hands you a paper that says "11, 16, 66, and 77 but you choose the fic" then gets dragged back in by vines*

*slaps herself on the forehead with the paper* the only ask I got out of this and I fucking forgot about it

11. Link your three favorite fics right now

But like my fics or the fics I'm reading? I'll go with the second option and rec some good stuff bc it's too hard to pick from my own stuff

First, two Prospect works from my prospie besties, both AUs, both brilliant!

At Your Service by @skoulsons - modern AU where 15 year old Cee starts working at a restaurant and their best employee, Ezra, takes her under his wing (and not only during work hours). Lots of angst and lots of love - and you get to see how restaurants work! How cool is that!

without you, without them by @channelrat - this AU is more in-world and poses a question: what if Ezra knew Cee's mom? What if they were best friends? It's so exciting to follow Cee as she uncovers her family's history and learns more about her mom

The third one is a Hunger Games fic that I've been following for quite some time and I can't wait for another chapter

Long Way Out by lollercakes - a story following the ups and downs (and mental breakdowns) of the relationship between Katniss and Haymitch. It's heavy, it's brutal at times, deals with depression, PTSD, alcoholism, suicidal thoughts and rage (to name a few) but ultimately it's a story about how two broken people can keep each other from falling apart because they are both too damn stubborn to let each other go.

16. How many fic ideas are you nurturing right now? Share one of them?

Realistically? Two. There's more saved in my docs but I'm not being pulled to start them or finish what is started already. One I can share, the one I'll probably be working on next, is a little extra scene for The Bad Batch series finale, where everyone gets a moment to breathe and take care of each other as they fly away from their final battle.

66. How do you deal with writing pressure (ie. pressure to update, negative comments, deadlines, etc.)?

Pressure to update? Deadlines? It's easy to deal with when you're convinced no one is reading your shit lol but seriously, I try to take it easy now. I used to work like a machine (still do sometimes), but not because I knew someone was waiting, but because there were so many ideas in my head that I just wanted to be done with the current one so I can start the next. I didn't want to lose any of them. These days I try to tell myself "there is no deadline". Fics don't have deadlines. You release them when you feel like they're ready, you work on them when you have time and energy to do so.

And as readers, we should know and respect that. I'm also a reader who's waiting for updates on her beloved fics - written both by strangers and by friends. But no matter how much I want to read what happens next, I won't pressure them to update. When they're ready and the story is ready, then I'll get to read it.

As for negative comments? I rarely get them, the ones I did were from fandom trolls that were pressed about stupid bullshit, or it was straight up AI generated comment. What I do? Read, delete, never think of it again.

77. Do you have a favorite scene you’ve written from [Fanfic Name] story/chapter?

These two bits from The Art of Letting Go

Because it's so angsty!!! We see Hunter and Omega argue in the show but never to this extent! It never turns into a fight! I cried writing those. But it felt so good!

Thank you for the ask! Sorry you had to wait so long.

[butchbenrey]

Are there any theories, predictions, or hopes you experience in regards to hl2vrai?

Also, consider this: benrey that is of copious spikes

god i have a complicated relationship with the idea of hl2vrai for so many reasons, most of them being really personal so i dont have as many theories or expectations as youd might think. the whole announcement and trailer happened during a really rough period of my life so the whole thing kinda has the ooze for me. still, i know i'll watch it when it comes out. i can't not, hlvrai has been my whole thing for nearly 3 years now.

as far as what i expect to happen, i think benrey probably wont come back. or if he does, itll be for a gag or something. this is gonna sound so bitter (because it admittedly is) but it seems like the crew is largely obsessed with teasing their fans for liking benrey too much and i imagine theyll keep dangling him over our heads. maybe thats too cynical, i dunno. i honestly don't think most of the science team will be returning? like obviously gordon, coomer, and g-man will, and people have theorized that tommy is that second g-man we saw which i can definitely get behind. but baaulp didn't like playing tommy and i don't get the vibe that gir is particularly attached to bubby either. i imagine the crew would wanna switch things up because they're notoriously unpredictable.

also, from the moment i saw alyx with a fat cigar in the trailer i've been pretty confident mira will play her, which i was initially really hyped for but now have complicated feelings about (again, for personal reasons).

speaking of alyx, i definitely don't think the gnome himself is coming back but i do think that the gnome series will have something to do with hl2vrai. ever since the gnome finale theater scene with the peppa pig monologue i've assumed "the girl" that "gordon" would meet soon was alyx. i imagine she'll have some memory of the gnome series somehow, or she'll have some knowledge of the higher powers at play (like whatever the fuck gaben was talking about wrt his games being their own entities and shit) or whatever. i wouldn't be surprised if they built on that meta aspect of the gnome series and make the game of half life 2 itself its own sort of character in a way. like, the nature of the copy of half life vr that "gordon" was playing within the fiction of hlvrai was left really ambiguous. "gordon" questioned it of course and was baffled by the weird ai but eventually just came to accept it. it was only truly interrogated by coomer at the very end, and not for long. but with the trailer for hl2vrai being narrated by coomer and having such a focus on how the ais were left to rot without the player, it seems like the meta aspects of the story will come into a bit more focus. but also, maybe not. because as much as the gnome series toyed with examining the nature of the game, most of it was ultimately left ambiguous. we'll see, i guess.

those are my expectations and predictions. my hope is that it's not as cynically self-referential as the brba stream and everything surrounding it was. ultimately i don't care if benrey's not in it, i don't care if none of my predictions are true, i don't care if it's wildly different from hlvrai in every way. they'll make a high quality work of art no matter what. i just don't want it to have that same weird mild contempt for hlvrai fans that i had seen not just in the brba stream but also cropping up here and there in other streams. like, the "stay tuned and benrey will be at the end of the stream" joke was funny maybe for the first 3 times but after that it just got really tiring. i think rtvs has every right to not be happy with their fans and they don't owe us anything but that doesn't mean i have to like it when they're mean about it, y'know? it just gets old really quickly and i don't super love being the butt of the joke just for being a big fan of a series they made. shrugs.

alternate answer: i hope the sacred texts come true

[aihoshiino]

Part of me is really hoping when the anime comes for Movie/Final Arc that they could pull a Beastars.

Which for context:

Beastars between its Manga and Anime had changes but it lead to the same conclusion. Legoshi in the first volume manga and episode one anime had different ways to give the victim's letter to lamb girl.

Ruby's narrative of being differed to Ai could be more leaned interesting if it took a alternative route that isn't just using her as "Ai's Superior Replica" that makes Ruby's character and the plot fight against each other. Because even though she was the main girl for the movie arc, I feel like she is underdeveloped.

Like she struggled with the heavy schedule and the grief of her sensei with Ai, but the moment the sensei thing came up for the pointless part we all know and love that goes unheard of, it would've been more interesting if Goro was used to motivate her character instead of becoming a insufferable bro-con for 7-10ish chapters not even.

But thats just some two cents, i'm interested to see what happens next week.

Don't have a lot to add to this, I am just Nodding In Agreement. It's really hard to talk about Ruby's arc w/o sounding like you're scapegoating 123 and the AquRuby stuff by extension but it really is that every interesting and coherent ongoing thread for her arc got dropped off a cliff as soon as that reveal happened. And that by itself is definitely annoying but tbh I can understand it - sometimes as a writer you accidentally dig a character into a deeper hole than intended and don't have the time or space on the page to organically get them out of it. So if Aka had wanted to use that reveal as a soft reset for Ruby so he could focus on her Ai-adjacent issues or even her wrestling with her feelings about her father across the Movie Arc then like… that would've been annoying but ultimately fine. In a schedule that demands as much out of you as weekly manga does, sometimes that just happens.

But even though these are the arcs Ruby is allegedly supposed to be having, we don't really see it playing out on page. So when the story tries to give her these big triumphant moments, they end up feeling unearned.

[fionnaskyborn]

🖥️,🚢,🥊,🎉,⭐,🎧 for the halo ask?

HEYA PIOTR!!! Sorry for keeping you waiting! ^^"

🖥️ - favourite AI?

Basic answer, Cortana. Honest answer, Virgil (if the combination of the Superintendent AI and Quick To Adjust counts as an answer) and Isabel. Those two are incredibly dear to me. And, of course, I can't leave out my beloved Auntie Dot. I get all in my feels about her because of how much emotion she shows for a "dumb" AI at times. It's not much, and it's very subtle wherever it *can* be seen - outside of her Firefight voicelines, anyway - but it's there, and it matters to me a lot. In a world where your class is severely stunted in the Having Feelings Of Any Kind department, especially when compared to your "smart" peers, imagine being the one urging your commander to get help despite not being... *wired* to do so. One warning is sufficient, yet you warn multiple times. Sorry, in this house we love Auntie Dot. Her firefight voicelines are also quaint and full of charm and I implore anyone reading this to give those a listen if they haven't.

🚢 - favourite UNSC ship?

Oof, this is a hard one. I'll be answering these by subclasses since that's the only way I can start singling out stuff - if you told me to pick an Ultimate Favorite Ship, we'd be here forever. Let's start with the dropships, for example. I *adore* the Albatross' design, and- oh, wait, this is about *singular* ships, isn't it. Oh, well, I won't be erasing my previous words. I am partial to the Spirit Of Fire due to it being a retrofitted colony ship. Reminds me of the Titans in Titanfall, who were used to help with terraforming planets and gathering vast amounts of crops and such before they were turned into war machines.

🥊 - who are you beating the shit out of?

Huh. Another difficult one, but in a different way. If you asked me at the very beginning of my Halo journey, my answer would've been Dr. Halsey. I've seen the light since, though. Halo is a bit of a strange case for me because if we ignore the obvious answer of Captain Ingridson and non-answers like everyone who has ever worked at ONI, there aren't many people that I can name from the top of my head I'd want to throw hands with. Maybe it's time for a re-read of some books or Halopedia pages. With that said, the final answer is Jun. And that one guy from the latest Flood short story who didn't listen to his ship AI. He's pissed me off so bad I don't even remember his name, but fuck 'im in particular.

🎉 - share your favourite character headcanon

Here's a very mundane one, and a personal favorite - Noble Six is very fond of cats.

⭐ - share your favourite piece of halo lore

I'm grateful I got this question twice because I get to discuss various things. At the risk of it being too broad of an answer, I will say that one of my favorite aspects of Halo lore is the politics of future humanity. I haven't seen a lot of people talk about the Koslovics and Friedens and the Interplanetary War in general - though, granted, before the Mythos came out in 2016, they were only mentioned on Bungie's site and the Halo timeline on Xbox.com. I'm glad Mythos gave us some names to work with, but I can't help but yearn for more pre-Human-Covenant War political lore outside of the "Innies vs the UNSC" struggle. Do not get me started on the Colonial Military Authority and how the UNSC absorbed and dismantled them and the differences in the ways the two organizations operate.

🎧 - song you associate a halo character with

My custom tag for Noble Six is "Unknown Soldier". Yes, like the Breaking Benjamin song. Six and that song go hand in hand for me.

[marymoss1971]

Random thoughts on Star trek Picard 3.5 "Imposters

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As someone who usually goes around looking for spoilers, I was SHOCKED to see Ro! I love that she got redemption and she and Picard finally got to talk about what she did years thirty years earlier. What ultimately happened to her here was sad, but poignant. 

Also, I started thinking about Tom Riker when Will was defending Ro to Picard. I really want to know what happened to him. I have a slight headcanon but want an official take.

Ro telling Picard about the conspiracy in Starfleet (a story I find fascinating!) reminded me of Picard being told about the conspiracy in the TNG episode of the same name.

I don’t buy Krinn’s “There can be no utopia without crime” statement. 

At the mention of AI's at Daystrom, my mind immediately went to Lower Decks and the Texas-class and sentient computer facility. (not saying there’s a connection. It’s just the popped in my head)

My favorite Shaw moment (and Todd Stashwick stated this was improvised) was the gesture Shaw was making when he reinstated Seven. LOL. (I also loved it when someone told Shaw "If you can't trust us; trust your eyes" You could almost hear Shaw thinking "SHIT")

I’m really wondering, and worried, about what’s going on with Jack. I've heard some interesting theories but don't know how I feel about any of them.

I think we’re going to see Geordi next week which’ll be great. It is weird, they couched this as a reunion but we’re halfway through and a full reunion hasn’t happened yet. 

[greekbros]

(so I was having this conversation with somebody about AI arts and how they tried to argue that AI art is good for conceptualizing color and a scene without having you to do the work of doing it yourself. They also argued that the ai art should not be used as finalized art but as a way to assist)

(the the best way I can simply respond to such an absurd and extremely naive notion is that the reason why a i art is so popular is because it already finalizes a piece of artwork based on description alone. There is no conceptualizing, the art already finishes it based on a collage of other works. It also brings up the conversation of what is considered finished or conceptual work. To me if it's not a official finalized work of art that is under copyright or is given a proper reference sheet, from its inception to the fading of its interest it's still considered conceptual art from a business point of view.)

(not to mention you have to understand the mindset of the kind of people that want to make a i art the standard of regular art, these are just a bunch of personalityless tech Bros who have no skill other than to violently exclamate out of their bodies and try to make a quick side revenue. Tech Bros want to solve problems that theoretically don't even exist let alone should even be solved.)

("I want to create an efficient way to make juice" *create a Wi-Fi connected press that just squeezes pre-made juice into a cup*, "I want to create a smart sink that you can sync up to your phone and have the exact measurements you need" *proceeds to literally create a sink that will not work unless there is Wi-Fi connection and is primarily useless unless you either physically or visually cannot figure out the measurement*)

(it's situations like this where someone can even argue that it is for those who may not even be physically or mentally able to perform basic activities, do you honestly think that tech Bros have people with disabilities and or incapabilities in mind when they create these ideas? Do you honestly want to put some semblance of benefit of the doubt for the literal group of people who have decided that eating and drinking is a waste of time and productivity and ultimately stay awake 24 hours coming up with insane ways to scam people out of their money?)

(because I really doubt people like Elon musk and anyone in silicon valley cares about those with disabilities like normal people do. And what I mean by normal people I mean people who fully understand and even experience the contextualize struggle of having any semblance of an issue regardless if it's mental or physical.)

(tech Bros will never understand the context of anything because the only context they understand is how to profit off of it without having any understanding that they're either merely wasting resources or they are over complicating a situation that wasn't even a problem to begin with but a natural process that did not need to cost $2,000 and a GoFundMe page to make)

(so why am I talking about AI generated art?)

(because the people who put a ton of money and promotion on AI art are those who want to use it to make cheap, uninspiring and relatively ugly looking illustrations for mass produced books that ultimately don't even have a story to begin with let alone artistic consistency. These guys just want to print free money and trick people into giving them that said money)

(these guys just want to solve problems that literally do not exist in any context regardless if you're able-bodied or not.)

(people with disabilities and neurodegenerative people are capable of art, regardless of how that sentiment even works or how you view that sentiment, anyone can make art regardless if it's something as simple as finger paintings or as complex as 3D modeling)

(by trying to use AI art as a way to excuse neurodegenerative use is sort of the same kind of argument as putting a pet down because its "less painful" when in reality you really don't know what the animal is thinking.)

(regardless of your capabilities or not, you are capable of art and regardless of what it is it's going to be beautiful and it comes from the heart.)

(and I'm most certainly doesn't come from a compilation of stolen artwork from other digital artists haphazardly matched together into a bland, uninspiring and relatively boring looking digital modge podge of concepts that shouldn't have been placed to begin with)

[shioaoi]

Every game I played & beat in 2022 and my thoughts / opinions.

Ai: The Somnium Files

While released a few years ago, I finally got round to playing it due to NirvanA Initiative being released and an acquaintance of mine adores these games. I'm a sucker for mystery based games, and the whole mental fuckery mixed with the somnium gameplay and eccentric characters just ticked all of the boxes for me. While graphicly it's nothing spectacular, I didn't really care because everything else kept me hooked and I'm very much cemented in the 'this is a highly underrated game' camp

Hours played: 27

Trophy Achievemnts: 45/45

Ai: The Somnium Files - NirvanA Initiative

This was not a sequal I was expecting to get, considering how the original game flew under the radar. Guess the creators were like, fuck financial success we want to make what we want - and I appreciate that. While I don't think the mystery is as tight as the first game, NirvanA Initiative wacked mental fuckery up 10 folds. I loved all the new characters; the gameplay tweaks and new additions made it even more enjoyable to play than its predecessor.

Hours played: 32

Trophy Achievements: 49/49

Danganronpa S: Ultimate Summer Camp

This game only can exist and sell because us Danganronpa fans are starved for content following the five year dry spell since V3 release. It's basicly a repackaged version of the mini game you unlock when you beat the main game. Was it nice returning to my DR2 children and seeing all the new interactions? Yes. Did I cry over my best girl Mukuro getting some validation and recognition? Yes. Would I recommend? Absolutely not.

Hours played: 20+

Final Fantasy XIV - A Realm Reborn & Heavensward

This year was the year I finally fell into the rabbit hole that was FFXIV. As an avid Final Fantasy fan, I tried playing a few years back but I didn't bite. I then tried again after my girlfriend switch servers out of solidarity and I got hooked. I found a great group of people to play & bard with and began to fall in love with the world and story. Unfortunately, I've not made a lot of progress further then part way through the post Heavensward updates because my completionist nature means I refuse to move onto the next expansion before I've done all of the available content & side quests. It's an on running joke about I will never get to Endwalker.

Hours played: 600 - 700

The Great Ace Attorny Chronicles

Last year I began to properly get into the Ace Attorny franchise. I played through Phoenix Wright Trilogy, and Apollo Justice on mobile & the first half of Duel Destinies (plz Capcom port them to console). I brought The Great Ace Attorny on sale and over the course of a few months played through all episodes. It took some time because heavy visual novel games takes a particular mindset as it required a lot of reading and I'm permanently tired. I loved the visual style and setting (Steam Punk Victorian London is a weak spot of mine - see Code Realize). I loved all the characters, from the main cast to the individual chapter characters. I didn't know all of the twists that were coming even if some I accidently spoiled some for myself. Just a pleasant roller coaster and places the Ace Attorney as one of my favourite video game franchises.

Hours played: 128

Trophy achievements: 19/30

Horizon Forbidden West

Horizon Zero Dawn was one of my favourite PS4 Games and one of the only western open world games I actually care for. For the sequal, I enjoyed the gameplay lots and explored every nook of the map. Unfortunately the story wasn't as engaging as the first, mainly because Aloy didn't develop and grow like she did in ZD. I loved the supporting cast a lot, particularly Beta, Kotallo and Alva. The gameplay will keep my coming back, though I hope they don't drag the story out until its just becomes empty.

Hours played: 70

Trophy achievements: 59/59

Jump King

Did I play this because many content creators did? Yes. Did I reach the top? No. I still had a blast chilling for a month or so playing this as a timekiller and seeing my progress and improvement.

Hours played: 10+

Life is Strange: True Colors

Think this was released in 2021 but I only got round to playing it in January. The first Life is Strange and Before the Storm had a very big impact on me, but I never played LiS 2. When True Colors was announced as a full game and not being released in parts, well I was intrigued. Playing it was like slipping into a cosy jumper you long forgot about the back of the closet. The gameplay and corniness was familiar but welcoming. The quality improvements in the graphics and controls was nice and made the whole experience better. I don't think I enjoyed the story and characters as I did the first game & prequel, but I also am happy to see this franchise that I have a soft spot for evolve and try somthing new.

Hours Played: 12

Trophy Achievements: 41/41

Minoria

I brought this indie souls like on my switch for under £5 in a sale. I had been missing a game I could just pick up and play for half an hour or so. Its a 2D souls like and while there isn't to much to the story, the setting was enough to grab me in and I had fun exploring the map; I never got to frustrated with dying because 9/10 it was because of my own stupidity. For somthing I brought on a whim, I had fun.

Hours Played: 10

Pokemon Legends: Arceus

This game I played in two halves. As a longtime pokemon fan I brought it on release and I put a good number of hours just running around catching pokemon and trying to fill the pokedex. I actually didn't progress the story because my completionist nature made me want to complete the pokedex in each area before I moved on to the next one. I eventually just sorta fell out of playing, having not even made it half way through the game. Then during the peak of the UK heatwave in the summer I was hospitalised with acute pancreatis and had to have emergency surgery to prevent me from dying. When I returned home it was to hot for me to stay in my room so I was downstairs a lot with only my switch and - since I had no money at the time - I picked up Arceus again and not only beat the story but also 100% the Pokedex, which I had never done before in a Pokemon game. It was a fun experiment by Game Freak and I hope we get another, expanded version of this game style in the future.

Hours played: 100+

Resident Evil Village: Shadows of Rose DLC

Now, I'm not a big RE fan - outside of the RE 2 Remake, Village was the only real RE game I had played (I had watched let's plays of RE7). For the most part I had a lot of fun with Village so when Halloween rolled around and I had no plans, I brought the DLC Shadows of Rose for some horror fun. And again, like with the first game, I had a lot of fun. Exploring the Castle again was a lot of fun, and they somehow made the Doll House even scarier like jfc. I liked Rose a lot and I cried at the stories resolution. A very enjoyable evenings entertainment.

Hours played: 3-4

Spiritfarer

Another game that came out a few years ago and I am only now just getting around to playing. It had been on my radar & wish list for a while and I finally picked it up during the time I underweather but not yet diagnosed with pancreatis and hospitalised. This was by far my favourite game I've played this year and the one I think back to constantly. The visuals are gentle yet stylised; the soundtrack soothing and the gameplay and story to well intertwined together. It was just such a chill game to play - I loved building my ship and recognising the whole thing every time I constructed a new building. I loved all the characters and their stories, and each one impacted me in different ways and I would get genuinely sad whenever I had to let someone move on. It one of those games I wish I could erase my memory of and replay blind all over again.

Hours played: 45+

WILL: A Wonderful World

An interesting little visual novel I brought during a sale. The premise is you have to move around pieces of the characters situation / dialog to change the outcome and progress. Some of the stories were kinda wierd and one that even kinda disgusted me, but the core gameplay was interesting enough that I played through to the end. It isn't a particularly long story, but I enjoy Visual Novel that add elements in so you aren't just clicking the continue dialog button.

Hours played: 10 hours

Honourable shoutouts to games I've started but not yet finished.

Persona 5: Royal

Pokemon Violet

Ruined King: A League of Legends Story

[foggypainterstudent-glandrp]

Research: Bullet Hells #3

Rival MegaGun:

The Core gameplay loop of Rival Megagun is the player has to first pick their character then they get put into battle against an AI or another player with the screen split vertically giving each player their own battlefield. Then the player has to complete their main objective which is defeat enemies and avoid their obstacles. By destroying enemies and picking up items it fills a combo bar which can be used for special attacks on the other player like sending additional enemies onto the other players side. Then when one player has their special meter full they transform into a boss and move onto the other players screen and they have a head to head. The player which isn't the boss has to dodge attacks and fill their own special bar to help them counter or defend against the boss player. Once one player is destroyed the game ends and then you play again restarting the loop.

The USP of Megagun and what makes it different from other bullet hells is that it has a fully fleshed out story narrative to it for example it has a backstory/lore at the beginning explaining why your there then there is cutscenes:

(couldn't find a video so images will have to do)

and there is also characters speaking to you like this:

This makes the game unique as it is a game in the bullet hell genre that has a full story the whole way through the game as usually with bullet hells if they do have a story which is rare then they will just have a cutscene at the beginning like this game but this game does the extra mile and has the story continue the whole way through the game making this the first if not one of the first bullet hell genre games with a storyline to it. Another USP of this game is it has a PVP option allowing you to compete and play against friends which I haven't seen in anyother bullet hells yet and this is a really smart choice as it allows players to play by themselves and bring new players into the player base as some players would want to challenge their friends. Also by players challenging their friends it keeps replayability at a max as they can keep versing eachother for the win and it keeps the arcade gameplay fresh too as they aren't playing that the whole time. Another USP is you can select which character you play as and all of which have differing special abilities, weapons and ultimate attacks. This is cool as you can test out different characters when you play keeping gameplay fresh and people playing as they will test them all to find a character who fits their play style. Another USP is split screens so you can see yours and the enemies gameplay and the combo meters which is very unique as bullet hells don't tend to have PVP so their isnt a need for split screen and I haven't seen many or any bullet hells with combo meters. The final USP i can think of is this game allows one player to turn into the boss for the other player which is a very unique feature and is a great idea and makes the game really fun.

Overall this game has some fantastic and very unique features. In my opinion it does really well with keeping the old genre Bullet Hells modern and to present gamers standards.