#i dont even talk to my own family anymore for weeks at a time

[munch-mumbles]

o<-<

[desolationlovers]

so ive been at my job for six months and every day i am still exactly as exhausted and confused after every shift as i was when i started which has me starting to think that its not gonna get any easier. unfortunate. depressing. miserable. i have severe depression.

[paper-mario-wiki]

you do such a good job passing! any tips?

thank you, i appreciate that! i dont have a ton of tips since ive only been at it for a little over half a year, and im kinda flying by the seat of my pants cuz i dont have a lot of people i talk to day-to-day about presentation. pretty much everything ive figured out by myself and with youtube tutorials. regardless, heres a few i can think of:

don't be afraid to go to a makeup store and ask for advice. i brought a picture of myself i put through faceapp to give me makeup, and i showed it to the ladies at sephora, who were able to get me exactly what i was looking for. theres a world of difference between a face full of makeup, and a face full of makeup that's slightly the wrong shade, and it's good to get the opinions of experts.

try to look at the other women in your family and see how they style themselves, or do their makeup, or even how they speak or carry themselves. finding a look that works isn't somethin that you can fall into super easily, you have to go searching for it. try to model yours after the people who literally share your genes and therefore your features. (note, the opposite is equally usable for transmascs, look at your brothers, fathers, and uncles)

spend time in the mirror seeing what looks right. comb your hair in different directions, part it in a different place, put a clip in, dye it a different color, etc. put on makeup and then take it all off, then put on way too much and only take half of it off. learn the muscle memory of holding a liquid eyeliner pen in your non dominant hand and tracing it across the eyelid on the opposite side of your face without twitching your eye. nobody will see you, you're in your own bathroom. with the resources you have, treat the Bathroom Fit Check like you're customizing a character in a videogame.

look for your angles! i wish i could look good at every angle, but i don't, and vanishingly few people actually do. i spent a lot of time looking at myself in my front-facing phone camera from different directions and thinking "fuck im never going to pass, i really dont look great. is this even worth it?" and no matter how much doubt i had, in the long run the answer ended up being yes, it is worth it. that's kinda how hard things are: they suck until they don't anymore.

this one is really simple and may not apply to you, but fix your posture. seriously. when i started standing up straight for a few weeks i noticed an change in how i looked and carried myself (and my back doesnt hurt as much now)

come to terms with the fact that a lot of women look like men, and a lot of men look like women. the idea that all men look one way and all women look the other is an propagandstic invention of the state that should not be taken seriously. (note: this tip works only inwardly as a facet of self actualization. no matter what, you will always run into people who buy into the propaganda. to the best of your ability, pay them no mind.)

im sorry i cant give you anything more, but thats kind of a big question to answer, so i hope this helps!

[loviingpedri]

Did You Know I Loved You?

prompt: pedri never forgot you

warnings: cursing, grammar issues. all pictures used are not owned by me. not proofread.

word count: 1735

angst, some fluff

dedicated to all my pedri girlies <3

pedri and you were inseparable. from the day you walked into his parents' restaurant, the air suddenly changed. the town seemed to sparkle in tenerife when you two were exploring the island.

"let's play football," pedri slowly kicked the ball to you.

"it's so hot outside though," you groaned at the thought of kicking a ball in the burning sun.

"pleaseee, i wanna practice just for a little bit." you knew you couldn't say no to him. the decision ended up leaving you playing with him until the moon smiled at the duo.

little did you know, the moon never smiled and the sun never glistened after that day.

———————————————————————

“so what? you’re just gonna leave?” you shouted at pedri in disbelief.

“i can do what i want. you can’t control my decisions for the rest of my life,” he sighed and sat down to control his thoughts. “you knew this was gonna happen. i need to grow my career. i wanted to be in a work environment which i enjoyed. just don’t be so self-centered right now.”

“im self-centered? i didn’t even get a warning you would leave to this big city. you knew for weeks. fer knew for weeks. you said i was your family pedro, and family doesn’t hide things from each other.” the yelling echoed through the house. it was a situation that would never be fixed.

“i cant just tell my best friend that i’m leaving in 2 weeks. it would ruin everything. if you knew, you would’ve changed my mind and i wouldn’t be successful for anything.”

“pedro gonzalez, think for one fucking second. you kept a secret that could’ve changed everything. the moments we had together could’ve been more important than anything. i just needed one warning and this wouldn’t be happening. i don’t give a shit that you want to continue your passion. all i always wanted was for us to be happy.” it took everything in your power to not leave the house after you completely lashed out on him.

you knew deep down you didn’t want him to go because he was your first love. he was your first kiss, first friend, and first person to even talk to you in tenerife. you didn’t know who he was gonna see. you sure did not want him to talk to rich girls blinged out with their designer bags. you were scared shitless of how life would be without him. he was the only person who knew everything about you and what you should do in anxious situations.

then, the tears came. would he visit you? would he ever speak to you? would he write or text you? would you ever see him again? will there be time for the two of you to be together again.

“why are you crying? come on, its not that big of a deal.” he huffed loudly, shaking his head in stress that this was not the way this was suppose to happen.

“pedri, you are leaving to the city. i dont even know if i’ll ever get into contact with you anymore. you’ll have new friends, new people to worry about, and probably gonna knock someone up while you’re at it. can’t you just let me process this for one second.” and that’s when you made a mistake. doubting pedri was never a good idea. especially about the people he loved. especially when it came from the person who he loves the most.

pedri got up and looked at you for one last time. unexpectedly, he walked out the door without a word. you sat there in tears, debating to chase him or just let him go. the sobs fully came out.

———————————————————————

2 years had passed since he left. everyday, he thought about you. “what would y/n do? what would y/n say?” he questioned his decisions by following your mindset everyday. he begged his brother to tell how you were doing. never a word budged from fer since the huge fallout spread throughout the city.

tenerife was never the same. since both lost communication, it felt like the island itself was hopeless.

you, continued to push yourself through school. showing everyone that you would do well without him was your motivation. you’ve worked so hard to prove yourself to people that you had a job offer in barcelona.

of course, you accepted the job. people were upset that their beautiful youngin was finally moving on in life. moving into your modern apartment was like a fever dream. you’ve had your doubts, but it was definitely worth it. everyday, there would be news of pedri. pedri, barcelona’s best midfielder. pedri, one of the best young players in the world. pedri, the guy who gets every spanish girl all over him. hell, a video of him was going viral for taking a girl’s number and putting it into his pocket. obviously, it was implied that he would never have a single thought about you. fuck, it was stupid to even try to reach out for him.

after sitting in your living room while trying to find something to entertain yourself that wasn’t pedri related, you decided to go out for once. there seemed so much to do in the city instead of being lazy at home. walking for ages in the wind, you finally found a small cafe to rest. ordering your latte and sitting down, your thoughts were interrupted by a boy.

“excuse me, are you y/n?” said a boy that was not too much younger than you.

“yes i am,” you nodded your head slowly before taking a slow sip. it was a little awkward considering he looked at you in shock.

“i’m sorry. i’m pablo gavi. or known as gavi. you’re the person on pedri’s lock screen. he always talks about you during practice. holy shit, i never thought i would meet you. are you visiting him?”

what the fuck just happened. pedri still remembers me? why am i his lock screen? why does he talk about me? what does he say? for a moment, you sat there trying to understand what he said. gavi, confused on why you’re frozen in time, waved his hand in front of your face to make sure you’re okay.

“oh no, i’m not visiting. pedri and i don’t really talk anymore,” you shook your head and forced a little smile. only to ease the tension of gavi’s then saddened look.

“that’s weird. he talks about you like you’re his girlfriend or something. i thought you were doing long distance,” he shrugged his shoulders. “maybe you should visit camp nou. i think he’ll be happy to see you.”

quickly, you rejected his offer. “oh no, we exactly didn’t end off our friendship in the best terms. i think it’s better if we just don’t see each other again.”

“i insist. i’ll give you my number and i’ll text you all the details.” he took his arm giving you his phone. you bowed your head in defeat and put your phone number in.

unfortunately, everyone’s eyes had been on you and gavi.

———————————————————————

the next morning, your phone was blown up in notifications. your best friend constantly texting you on how you’re viral on twitter. paparazzi snapped pictures of your interaction with gavi.

“fuck.” you mumbled before groaning in defeat. you knew you had faced defeat in keeping a low-profile.

gavi, you knew, was for sure fucked. if pedri had seen the pictures, he was definitely getting beat up.

during practice, gavi kept his best to avoid his best friend. when pedri came up to him, he quickly turned pale.

“what’s wrong with you? you look like you’ve seen a ghost.” pedri patted him on his back with a small laugh. gavi sighed in relief. he’s glad to have all his teeth and no black eye before the game.

“yeah, i’m fine.” and that’s when everything wasn’t. balde came up to him, rubbing his head and patting him.

“so, who’s the new girl? it’s all over the internet and not a word from you.” fuck you balde was the first thought that came to gavi’s head. gavi’s head was pounding. he didnt know what to say, how to react, or what to do.

“wow gavi. what other secrets are you keeping from us. let me see the picture balde.” pedri laughed even harder from the thought of gavi even approaching a girl. at that moment, gavi had to remind himself that he wasn’t 9 anymore. he couldn’t just simply run and cry his way out of this. luckily, balde only showed pedri the picture from the window. when you were facing towards him and could only see him offering his phone. gavi’s blood started to circulate again and his heart rate slowed.

“i cant really see her face, but she looks so familiar to me.” well no shit jackass. that was the girl you’ve been in love with since second grade. in fact, she’s sitting on the side waiting for you.

———————————————————————

your heart was about to jump out in any second. you sat there for two hours for them to be finished with training. each time pedri walked towards your direction, your nerves would start running around. luckily, he didnt see you a single time.

gavi texted you from the locker room that he was coming towards your direction. you never expected this to be happening. you were debating to run away, but your feet forced you to stay. you knew your mind was fighting to hate him, yet your heart convinced you to see him. even if it was the last time. finally, you heard footsteps coming.

pedri was wiping the sweat off his face. he came to a full stop. he thought he was hallucinating. he thought it was a dream. he stared at you for which felt like minutes. admiring your facial features, you sat there frozen. it was harder to read his facial expressions now. did he want you to leave? did he want you there? why isn’t he saying anything?

what felt like years, he started walking towards you. again, your nerves were still jumping. eventually, he made his way in front of you. suddenly, he smiled.

“holy shit you’re beautiful.” the state of confusion turned into love with one simple kiss. your lips connecting made the world happier. the air cleared. the atmosphere was different.

it felt peaceful.

———————————————————————

author’s note: hi everyone! i’m so glad you enjoyed my first story let’s be tourists. this is my second time i’m writing on tumblr, so im still getting use to it. i will be taking requests once i figure out how to set it up. please let me know if you have any suggestions on what i could improve on. thank you for all of the support !!! <3

[oh-for-fic-sake-library]

A Suitable Alternative chapter 2 (Final)

Masterlist

Summary: you new life with vader begins, and though unexpected your not entirely unhappy about it.

Warnings: suitless vader, coercion, dub con relationship, power play, canon typical violence

A/N:Here is a second and final part to my vader fic. I dont really want to get suckd in and make a long fic, i have too many. But i will be doing little anakin and vader oneshots and drabbles in the future

Your eyes flicked to the open living area. The footfalls of Vader moving around did little to calm your nerves. Today was your debut. Or as you'd mentally dubbed it release day. Well, maybe that was a tad harsh. You reasoned with yourself. You weren't a prisoner here, well possibly? Since the whole incident with the fifth brother last week Vader had made it his life's mission to keep you in his quarters until you were quote; 'recovered from the trauma and ready to take your place'. And somehow your new wardrobe had been delayed. Which you didn't believe for a second. Everyone knew when Darth Vader wanted something it was on board within hours. You thought it was more likely that he wanted to have a few days bonding with you. And he did.

Your terror of this frighteningly beautiful man had subsided somewhat. The situation you found yourself in wasn't entirely unpleasant. You were treated impeccably well. It wasn't hard to forget just who he was inside your newly appointed home. You had taken a few days to acclimatise to seeing him without his mask. Whilst at the same time pretending nothing phased you, it was difficult. So much had changed for you, suddenly you were spending more time with him than anyone ever had since he'd appeared out of thin air alongside the empire itself! You shared a home, wardrobe, facilities even a bed.

That had terrified you the first night. He'd dressed you in one of the tunics as a makeshift night dress. You knew he could have someone go and collect your things from your room but he opted to have you draped in his own oversized clothes. You were surprised he even had casual clothing, but then again even a sith lord had the odd free days to relax in his home.

After letting you change in the bathroom he'd slowly coaxed you into bed like a scared child. It took a few tense moments but you did give in. Swallowing back your fear and climb into the bed resigning yourself to his will. He was smug, watching as you crawled below the sheets and turned glancing out of the window to the slowly moving stars as the executor glided through space, passing the odd asteroid and planet.

It was the one thing you truly adored. You didn't have windows in any of your previous rooms. You'd never really seen the stars pass you by before. You could watch the soothing sight all day.

You'd panicked when he'd laid beside you and shuffled close, pressing a hand to your shoulder and lightly drawing your attention to him. You were concerned he'd do something, that he'd expect something. But he kept his word, he didn't push you. Instead just stretched an arm out below your head letting you rest on him, occasionally running his fingers through your hair. And then looked out to the stars with you perfectly content, before striking up a conversation.

He asked about your travels, homeland, childhood, family and education anything he could think of to keep the conversation flowing. It was like he didn't want you to sleep, he wanted to savour the time he had with you. Like he had to hear you speak to prove to himself you were here. It was the first time you got the feeling he was lonely.

From then on it became a nightly ritual, talking until you couldn't keep your eyes open anymore. And that wasn't the only thing that became a daily occurrence you had breakfast, lunch and dinner together every day. He would vent about mistakes others made, missions and upcoming events in the next few days and secret imperial business; which your entirely convinced he wasn't supposed to share with you, but you still tried to help. Even if he did wave it off and settle for threatening or replacing the commanders. He didn't have the same attitude towards the storm troopers though?

You found it odd, but never brought it up. You didnt want to make him think he was being soft on them, your sure he'd do something drastic if he ever thought he wasnt scaring the piss out of everyone. He did infact enjoy that, it amused him to no end watching those around him quiver in his presence. But he wasnt always talking about the empire, he also made a point to speak of your work, ideas hobbies and of course your future together.

It was strange, youd formed an attachment to him. A familiarity, it was easy to forget who he was sometimes, especially when he would entertain you in trivial small talk during meals. And then youd spot the lightsaber on his belt, or his mask on one of the many stands scattered around the place. It would flush through you like ice, youd stiffen a rush of panic overwhelming you followed by him sighing quietly and then he'd draw you to him once more as if trying to condition you into being at ease around him.

The only way you could describe it was they were two different people. Lord vader was the mask, he had always been that imposing tall figure, billowing cape and harsh mechanical breaths and very heavy handed in everything he did. And then there was Vader himself; beautiful, intelligent and dare you say needy? Funny? Allbeit his humour was a little dark and dry for your tastes but you could appreciate some of his witty quips. But nothing detracted the fact he was clearly unstable, possessive and devestatingly strong.

But he seemed willing to put you at ease. He answered your questions most of the time. Sometimes he deflected, but with every refusal he did offer you something else in exchange. Youd asked about his past, who he was before vader was born. He'd gone rigid and trapped you in a stern icey stare before telling you the past was the past and he wont relive that weakness.

Yet he followed this harsh rebuke by offering explanations about his suit. It was nothing more then a means to strike fear into people. That vader was born from the ashes of his own failures and his suit was his new identity. Ending by saying that there was nothing more to the suit itself. Well thats what he said but you couldnt help there was more to it then that.

Yet you still got uncomfortable. Sometimes you'd say something that insinuated a future seperate from his and he would quickly react with a firm yet frustrated quip. Snapping at you to stop being ridiculous, and remind you he would be beside you always. That you were his and there was nothing in the galaxy that would change that. Then his anger would grow, his frustration would boil over and he'd spit venom at you. Voice his own insecurities in some teasing yet vague threats.

This was always resulted in a quick bout of damage control. Youd found out quickly that for someone so unapproachable his love language was touch. Youd grasp his hands holding them close to your chest or tuck yourself against him making yourself small whilst seeking him out. Whispering you were sorry and hadnt meant for it to sound the way it did. Pleading with him to forgive you. Going as far as to press gentle kisses to his hands and wrists, initiating any type of loving embrace or gesture you could. He always calmed when you acted on your infatuation.

He would sag, relaxing and quickly capture you, dragging you close and embrace you tightly. Though he never apologised. No, his anger was always justified. But he would defuse the tension warning you to be careful with your words, to think before you speak. He wanted you to be utterly convinced of your shared future and impending marriage. So much that it was ingrained into your subconscious. He wanted to stop these slip ups, you were his now and forever and you had to come to terms with that and create yourself a new path. A new future. One that had snuck up on you quicker then youd thought possible.

Okay. Okay... Okay, this is okay. Isn't it? Maybe. Maybe not. Fuck. Your eyes ran over the woman in the glass. Black. All you saw was black, velvet, leather and chiffon draped over you like a sea of unending darkness. The clothing was flattering, comfortable and practical, the leggings were a surprise. Something had told you lord Vader believed in more traditional gender roles and once he mentioned a new wardrobe you feared you'd be permanently donning a dress!

But no, thankfully you were placed in a long flowing tunic styled top held securely with a leather underbust styled waist coat. And behinde you fell a thin chiffon black cape. Flowy, feminine just like the rest of your outfit, it was clearly designed to mimic vaders own menacing outfit. But with a faint soft aesthetic to it, less brash and more refined. You were meant to compliment Vader, not out dress him. You moved this way and that watching the cape flutter behind you, it was attatched to the stiff paundrons protruding a inch or so from your shoulders.

"Stunning, my colour suits you." Vader called from the entrance of the bed room. You looked at him through the mirror and bit your lip, cheeks glowing, you couldnt help it when he was looking at you like that! Arms crossed smirking at you like the tempting devil he was, blue eyes flickering amber as they ran lengths up and down your frame. Fuck.

"You think so? I thought it washed me out?" You uttered trying to deflect slightly. You still found it strange having him compliment you. It happened quite often, though sometimes felt more like he was appraising you and preening 'oh look at this pretty jewel in my collection'

"All the more reason for me to bring a flush you your cheeks" you huffed averting your gaze trying to compose yourself. He was far to good at making you squirm. It wasnt fair, the way he could so easily make you flustered and embarassed. Simple blunt statments and well timed innuendos made sure to remind you that he intended to have you in every way possible.

"You are magnificent. You look powerfull, regal. Mine" the words were liquid silk, heated promising. But chilling in their meaning. He was claiming you publicly, making sure everyone who saw you shadowing him in the halls understood you were spoken for. It was like a child taking their new toy out to show it off. But there was little you could do about it. And honestly what could you complain about? You were dressed in comfy expensive clothes, ate amazing food, slept in a luxurious bed and found yourself a gorgeous partner. And above all you were safe. Untouchable. The only thing you had to worry about was vaders temper. But you were working your way around that, he needed to be needed, he craved soft, gentle. He wanted love, or atleast affection.

"Thank you my lord." You hummed sweetly turning to face him peaking up at him trying not to look as anxious as you felt. The reality of being seen out with him today.

"What did we discuss?" You faltered at that snapping your eyes to his. And he stared at you with an exhausted look. If he'd been a lesser man he'd have rolled his eyes. Your shoulders slumped and you tucking into yourself hands absentmindedly pulling on your clothes anxiously.

"Y-yes, right. Vader i apologise" your reply was cut short when he crossed the space, hands raising to your cheeks and ha cupped them almost sweetly, pulling you to face him once more. Youd niticed he hted when you avoided looking at him. He always wanted your attention. He was forever drawing your attention to himself.

"Do not look so sullen little one, it was not a chastisement. Just a reminder" he soothed you rubbing the apples of your cheeks with his thumbs. You blinked up at him still at a loss, these strnge affectionate moments were still foreign to you. It was alot to grow accustomed to. He drew a heavy sigh and tipped his head to the side, his hands began smoothing out your hair.

"I understand things will take time, you must adjust. Im simply trying to help you from new habits. We cant have you living in the past. Nothing exists but our future together. At least not for you anyway" he explained for what felt like the thousandth time. You nodded to him weakly, making sure not to pull away from him. The last time your tried to on reflex he'd fixed his hands round your jaw, pressing his fingertips tighter so you couldn't pull away. It was one of the few times youd been close to weeping, frightened youd angered him.

"You do look delectable in your new wardrobe. I am going to have to keep my witts about me whist your around the other men aboard" he uttered aftter a few moments and leant in pressing a kiss to your head before stepping back and marvelled at you. And then froze, frown marred his face.

"I sense your fear, what has frightened you? You know i would never allow you to be attacked again. If anyone dares to release a harsh breath in your direction it will be their last" the question was quickly followed by a promise to protect you. It would have been chivalrous decree had you not known he was utterly serious about murdering anyone on board whoxd dare make you uncomfortable. But you had to smile, ignore the violence and accept that his darlness was apart of him and the way he expressed himself.

"I know that, i trust you. Im just... not one for change. Everything is changing" you said with a light smile bringing your own hand to his wrist rubbing the skin, whilst leaning into hos hand lightly. He drew a deep breath before craning forward kissing your hairline and then stepped back.

You twisted your hand removing it from him but he quickly found it again squeezing it in his holding you delicatly. You released a deep breath as you successfully shook off your unpleasant fear of being the cause of another death. Not that you cared about the fitfth brother. Well not much, youd never liked him but that didnt mean seeing him brutalised and killed had been your idea of a good time.

"This change is good little one." He coaxed slowly leading you away from the mirror and in to the larger open space on the room.

"Yes, yes i know my lor- vader. I will get over it, just some beginners nerves i think? After all I do have a new position now. Its quite a climb" your words faltered as you struggled to find the appropriate words for your new position.

"You have no need to be nervous, i am here. I will always be here. Now why dont you show off your new uniform properly hmm? Give me a little spin~" he guided you infront of him before releasing you and grinned insisting you spin for him with a quick gesture of his finger swirling around.

You did as he asked spining around for him letting him admire you dripping in the clothes he had provided for you. You could feel the victorious grin he wore. Smug and cocky drinking in the sight of you. His prized trophy. He reached out smothing your cape back down to sit aginst your back and then coiled around you, tucking you below one arm.

"Very good. You truly are ravishing. Are you ready for your surprise?" He asked raising a brow at you, grinning wide a bright excitement across his face, eyes sparkling with his own elation.

"Surprise? what Surprise?"you asked tilting your head at him, scrunching your nose in confusion. He hadnt mentioned anything about a surprise. Only telling you that today youd start your new duties which consisted of joining him about the ship, shadowing him like a makeshift assistant.

"Well if i told you it wouldnt be a surprise now would it~ Follow me" and with that he swooped out of the room completely and glided across the living area. Right towards a very uncomfortable looking captain. You stopped still, locking eyes with the anxious looking man. This doesnt feel right.

"Captain? What a surprise?" You asked trembling slightly, feeling a deep dread. Panic like youd never felt before burrowing into you like a parasite. But you didnt know why, you couldnt understand it. You stepped forward hesitantly trying to keep yourself in check as your mind raced over all the possible reasons the captain was here.

"Im afraid i could not wait. I feel it would be best if we were to, expedite our union, i see no reason to wait" the sith anounced still striding towards the pale man, quivering in his boots. He was sweating and looked queasy but was outright staring at vader, drinking in the sight of his lords maskless face. You could understand. It was such a momentous thing, to see the frightfull lord in all his glory. Being able to categorically rule out the rumours of knarled twisted features and horrid burns mutations and from interspecies breeding. And instead see the sith for waht he was, a stunning powerful young man.

"It is a little known fact that captains are still able to marry those onboard the ships they command. Even in the empire." Vaders words halted your thoughts, yet somehow you still moved forward, inchingntowards him and his surprise. What? Already? No, he wouldnt do that yet would he? You twisted your head slightly before reaching out grasping for vader in what you hoped looked like casual affection. But it was to anchor you. You needed to hold onto something before your knees collapsed in on themselves and you crumpled to the floor. Vaders was glancing at the captain in warning, eyes burning making it clear the man was to hold his tongue over the next few moments.

And then the dark lord turned to you, one hand meeting yours before settling it in the crook of his arm playing the part of a gentleman. He nodded gifting you another bright grin and then pulled you closer to stand infront of him. He blinked tipping his head waiting for your reaction.

"Marry? He can marry us?" You breathed out, surprized and very very uncomfortable. As much as you knew this was the end game for lord vader. You were not prepared, youd belived hexd take you to mustafa first. Or atleast have the ceremony there. Not on a war ship.

"Indeed. He can and he will." He nodded once more, ending his reply with another threatening look cast to the man who looked like he was about to pass out. But overall vader sounded almost proud of himself. It was clear he thought the surprise and shock on your face was a good thing. And maybe it was? You werent crying or pleading. You cowered back slightly gulping down the dread you felt, you couldnt risk upsetting him now. Not infront of company.

"You look unsure little one, I will not waste our time together. You are mine and theres no reason to delay our future together. This is for the best" vaders words were laced with a soft warning, his bionic hand pressing against yours pinning it to his arm in a tight cold grip.

"We are not revisiting this discussion, ive made up my mind. You know this. Do not begin to disappoint me now little one" the chiding held a sharp egde. Threat of retribution shpuld you even think to argue woth him. His plans will not be ruined. And honestly you were not even stupid enough to try.

"oh no, vader no i was not; im just surprized. When you said we'd wed soon i did not realise how soon" you panicked rounding on him slightly, your other hand coming to rest ontop of his own vice like grip. You plead with him wide eyes glossing with tears, your hand moved smoothing over his skin thumbs circling over his wrist.

He held your gaze, nostrils flaring under his slowly rising temper. Lips thin and eyes glowing dangerously. Your heart thundered in your chest. It wasnt working? You dropped your gaze, slumping and released his hand slowly.

"Please vadet,don't be put out with me. I didnt mean it the way it sounded you know what im like. Id hate for you to think that i was against this in anyway. I truly meant no offence." He hummed relaxing his hold on you and released a deeper breath. You peaked up at him from the top of your eyes taking another half step closer. He settled somewhat as you drew closer, as if he realised you were not going to turn tail and flee. You continued to calm him spurred on by his sublte change in stance.

"It's just i? I suppose its selfish of me but i had silly hopes for our union is all, picking out a dress and flowers. Its what every little girl dreams of. But i will be happy aslong as i have you. Im not refusing you,not in the slightest. Id hate for you to ever think that, because i would never do that to you my lord. Never" you explained, choosing to play the little girl card to wriggle out of the hole youd somehow began to land yourself in.

He held your gaze for a few long moments and then sighed blinking slowly and released your now throbbing hand. You smiled but didnt move, instead squeezed his arm trying to reassure him you were staying here.

"A wise decision little one. unfortunately i have no time to give you a wedding you deserve one day i will make amends. But i have managed to aquire this at least. Here" the warning was more sinister then you'd anticipated. But the half explanation soothed you somewhat. He was once again gifting you with some semblance of consideration, letting you hold onto some sort of hope that he cared for your feelings. The words hung in the air for a few seconds before a hand rose. He held out a ring, pinching it between two fingers letting you pluck it from him.

You inspected it. It felt weighty, large and menacing. Clearly this was not yours it was too large, this ring was meantmfor him. It was neither gold or bright silver but an odd dark silver colour reminiscent of pewter. It was plain, nothing engraved or embedded into it. No decoration whats so ever. You closed your fist around it and plastered a smile on your face before looking back up at Vader.

"Shall we?" You said managing to bypass the panicked lump in your throat. You slowly felt dread build inside of you. You wanted to scream. This felt so insane, so fast and frightening. You were realising this was really happeneing and there was nothing you could do or say. You were trapped, no matter how delicatly he treated you, or how sweet his words and affection were. You were no longer free, you were his now. Completely and this man would keep a tight grip on you from here on out.

Vader beckoned you, holding out a hand clasping yours quickly and directed you to stand beside him and then shifted his attention. Suddenly the captain was pinned in place with a feirce look. It was only then you noticed a slim datapad in the poor mans quivering hand.

There were no fanatical speeches about love or family. No mentions of a pitiful romance or passages read on the sanctity of marriage. Only a few words about loyalty, strength and honour. And then vows, odd vows. Promises of obedience, surrender and worship. You vowed to serve him, to remain by his side and honour him. In return he will protect and provide for you and any children you may birth. It wasnt exactly the best exchange, but you were in not position to argue, you had nothing to bargin with, vader could take what he wanted if need be. So you'd be wise to accept whilst you had the illusion of choice.

You opted to smile pleasantly, reciting your vows watching carfully as vader seemed to visibly relax once youd played your part beautifully. Giving him exactly what he wanted without a fuss. The way you had submitted so quickly made heat rush through him, you were perfect. He'd enjoyed the light gasp as he'd placed his ring onto your finger. Your eyes lit up as you saw it for the first time, he had been unsure about it. He didnt know what youd want, all he knew was he wanted it to match his. From the look you gave him he had done well the delicate black band with light scrolling engraving across it. You were pleased, shocked but please nonetheless.

The ceremony was no more then ten mineuts, it would have been faster had the captain not stumbled over his words anxiously. Fear had made the man incoherent at some points in the small paragraphs. But even if the blithering idiot hadn't messed up the final kiss couldnt have come fast enough for vader. He needed it, the finality.

You stood listening as the ceremony drew to an end, with the fatefull words 'you may kiss the bride'. Your eyes flicked to vader unsure of whether he would indeed kiss you publicly. You shook your head subtly and made to pull back from you once lord now husband. You tried not to let your disappointment show, he didnt strike you as one for outward public affection so you shouldnt be surprised.

But as you tried to pry your hand that had resigned in his since donning his ring. He grunted, squeezing your hand. Suddenly he was on you, his human hand capturing your neck, thumb below your jaw, and hand stretched around covering your neck, fingers curling around you grazing the sking below your ear.

You cast a final worried look to the male beside you before. Opening your mouth to remind vader you had a guest. But what came out was a muffled cry of surprize when vader tugged you close before pressing his mouth to yours. You froze unprepared for his affection so much so he had managed to draw you into him, coaxing you to his own chest. Tilting his head before plundering your mouth. His lips moved against yours with delicate groan. Your eyes closed and cheeks flamed, unsure of what to do. All you did know was the captain was watching you with a weird fascination. It made you self conscious, youd only ever kissed once before;that had been at one of your freinds birthday parties years ago with a fumbling boy fresh out of his acne phase.

Vader chuckled drawing back a little taking a good look at you. You were his. He had a wife again. This time things will be different. He could love you freely without fear. This time he will be able to protect you, simply because youll obey him without question.

He descended again devouring you harsher this time, teeth biting and nipping at your lip making you whine in light pain before pressing forward. Plunging his tongue int your mouth lapping at your own before prodding you, encouraging you to join him in the kiss.

You did so carefully still aprihensive. Gingerly prodding at him, lapping and nibbling testing out what he liked and disliked. Your soft kissing and light exploring touch was met with light groans of praise. You relaxed smoothing your palms over his chest, remembering the lean muscles hidden beneath the thick suit. Just as you were melting into him, moaning into his mouth enjoying the kiss. You heard the captain Shuffle on his feet. Your eyes snapped open and attempted to tear yourself away from vader in a panic. He tightened his grip on your neck growling, jerking you forward drawing your attention back to him taking control. Once again you were reminded vader enjoyed your attention, he doesn't tolerate it wandering from him.

It was a few moments later when a loud thump rung out vader finally let you pull away. You eyed him for a moment only to look away as he made a show of lapping at his bottom lip, eyes half lidded stareing at you hungrily. He made sure not to let you get too far as you pulled back searching for where the thump had come from. His hands dropped to your waist keeping you close, chest pressing against his.

You panicked momentarily glancing around where the captain had been. Then gasped seeing the captain in a crumpled heap on the floor. You forgot to breath, your world stopped. No. No way, not again.

"Oh- shit! Vader he's? Is he alright? Did he passout? We should call the medic droids;" you began squirming in his grip, not beliving what you saw. He'd just passed out, he must have. There no way vader would have killed him, vader needed him to pilot the executor right?

"Hush, all is well. He served his purpose" he hummed pulling you closer resting his chin on your head kissing your hair lightly and wrapped his arms around you. Paying no mind to the dead captain on his living room floor.

"Did you? While we were?" You flushed eyes widening as you realised vader really had used the felxing of his hand on your neck to choke the captain. You stomach churrned, anxiety tugging at your chest like a horrid vice squeezing your diaphragm painfully.

"B-But he is the captain. Dont we need him to pilot the ship?" You asked pressing a hand to your chest rubbing trying to fend off the pain. Your eyes flicked from the captains body, to vader who chuckled shaking his head at you like you would a child.

"No, a team of twenty officers pilot the ship. His job is to coordinate them....Think of it this way, the co-pilot just got a promotion."

"You seem a little too upset, did you know him personally? Was he a friend?" His words grew sharp, the arms around you began tensing, squeezing threateningly. You whined shaking your head, quickly trying to backtrack and calm him before he became enraged.

"No, no ive never met him , i just wondered... this is such a huge vessel and i thought he must have been specifically trained to pilot it. I'd hate the thought of you wasting such a valuable member of the crew over me." You clarified, uttering the first thing that came to your head. Ending with a slight manipulation, wanting him to think you were only concered about his ship and reputation. Not the man who lay dead at your feet. Because god forbid he ever think you felt any sympathy for another man.

"I dont want to weaken you in any way, not even by havingnyour men killed... you have lost a powerfull force user and a trained captain because of me" Vaders eyes bore into you, gauging your reaction before he smiled his tightly squeezing arms loosening their hold.

"So sweet, so innocent. I could just eat you up sometimes. But save your worries we have many officers onboard equipped to pilot this vessel. And many force sensitive inquisitors at our disposal. Its how i keep them on their toes, they work harder if they understand they are replaceable" he cooed at you quietly, and then preceded to reassure you, explaining away the crew and reasoning he had for such a large staff turn over. You nodded dilligently, not really taking anything in.

"Besides he saw my face. No one in the galaxy is allowed that privilege. Except you of course wife~ Come you shouldn't dwell on this. Whats done is done. Instead focus on our happiness. We are now married." He exclaimed, rocking slowly side to side with you still keeping you tangled in his arms.

"Wont you smile for me love? It should be the happiest day of your life" his hand moved pinching your chin tilting you to look up at him. You forced a smile, beaming up at him like the glowing bride you were meant to be. Apart of you mused that things werent soo bad. He was a devastatingly handsome man to be married to, and powerful. He could look after you, keep you safe and sound, fed protected. And all it would cost is? Obedience and a semblance of love. Honestly you were sure you would come to love him, something tells you you wont have a choice in the end. So atleast you might get a true happy ending.

"Theres my good girl" he praised grinning down at you before dipping down clearly going in for another kiss.

Just as your lips were a breath away there was a loud sound ringing out from the door. You yelped jumping almost headbutting Vader. He growled glaring at the door, you wondered how it didnt melt under the anger. He sighed and stepped away from you, releasing you entirely.

"Ugh they are early. I apologise love, I hoped we would have a little time to ourselves to celebrate our union" he scowled as he spoke, disappointment curling into the words.

"Would you let them in. I called for them to clean up" he asked over his shoulder whilst stepping past you heading towards the bedroom. You spun watching him with a frown looking to the door and then bck to the room Vader was heading to.

"Clean up?" You asked unsure what he ,eant. But he sent a glnce over his shoulder nd nodded to the captain. Oh. That.

"Just instruct them to dispose of that mess.I wont be a moment, just finish dressing and once they are finished we will be off"he paused at the entrance to the bed room, and leant forward pressing a hand to the wall tapping it in thought.

"Do not worry they will know what to do, and i will just be in the other room. Id also like for you to put them in their place. Think of it as a? Practice run. I do expect you to mke use of your new title little one" his eyes pinned you to the spot, halflidded and buring with a promising heat before he spoke aagain.

"I dare say I will find it entertaining. But remember nothing will happen to you, my sweet little wife. You are untouchable now. Perfectly safe. " you drew a deep breath as he disappeared into the other room. Safe? Just who the hell is at the door? You pondered for a second before heading to the large main door and pressed your hand to the locking pad. The doors opened with a sharp hiss.

"Grand inquisitor, second sister?"You greeted politely praying you hadnt sounded to uncomfortable. Your stomach twisted and it took everything in you not to stagger back from them defensively. The two black clad visitors looked furious. Fuck.

"You?! i mean Lord vader had sent for us? He has a task?" Grand inquisitor snapped, only just managing to conceal his anger when he remembered that lord vader might be within hearing distance.

"Oh that. Yes. Please come in" you stepped back letting both of the inquisitors into the living space then reached over closing the thick doors once more. They stared at you, curious and spitefull gaz3s mking you want to shrink away from them. You werent a fool, these two were nasty pieces of work, cruel and vindictive. They were snakes and how Vader trusted them with anything amazed you, you wouldnt trust them as far s you could throw them. But then again, vader was a threat to them, they feared him enough not to fuck around and find out. You on the otherhand were an easy target.

"Im pleased to see you are well, we were concerned when you disappeared without a trace" second sister hissed with thinly veiled malice. The type of threateningly polite tipne only females could manage. Bitchy, nasty. Dangerous. You winced slightly and made your way around the room making sure not to turn your back on them. You didnt trust them out of your eye line.

"I have been taking some personal time, after everything that happened." You replied calming your breathing finally rounding one of the larger sofa's in the room placing it between you and the two force weilding occupants.

"Ah personl time, and new robes? A promotion? Or Acknowledgment of your service to the empire?" The grand inquisitors words sparked a chuc,led from second sister. Their eyes flicking to one another with amusement. You bristled at the insult that sat on the edge of his words. Whore. Thats what they saw you as. Vaders cock sleeve was another term youd heard them utter. You clenched your jaw and glanced away from them choosing to ignore it. But paused whe. You noticed you were hovering by the bed room wall, vader was behonde you, he'd step in if they tried anything.

The thought of your new unintentional husband slaughtering these two if they tried anything shouldnt have mde you giddy. But it did, there was something to be said for having that type of protection from such a sinfully wicked man. His immense strength was your new sheild.

"Yes you could say that. Something to thank the inquisitors for. Though the circumstances were... unpleasant the outcome is, preferable" you smiled tightly, casting a quick glance over your shoulder hearing some movement from behinde the partician wall. You visibly relaxed. Vader was only few feet away and could hear everything. And something told you he'd made himself heard to remind you of that fact.

"Im glad we could be of service to you. Its telling that you take your personal time here of all places. And to think you tried to deny your... association with lord vader so desperately." Grand inquisitor uttered with a laugh once again calli g you a whore without actually saying the words.

"It's laughable really we all knew it" the other woman added, laughing along with her commander. Ganging up on you like bullies on a playground. You growled feeling a rush of hopelessness and anger swell. A small voice began whispering to you, you could have mistaken it for someone else uttering spite in your ear. 'How long? How long will you let this go on for? Why are you letting them talk to you like this? Use it. Use the rage, its there for a reason' you snarled shaking with fury clentching your fists letting your anger seep through your stance.

"Knew what exactly?" You snapped at the two chuckling vindictive fools. They faltered, frowning when they saw you standing tall, back straight muscles tight and eyes blazing.

"You know very well;"

"Im afraid i dont. Would you spell it out for me? If not wait until vader is here? By all means ask him. Im sure he will indulge one of you." You sneered cutting off the womans rambling attempt at cutting you back down to size.

Both inquisitors shared a look, they looked unsettled. Confused by your rage. You were meant to be spineless, weak! Somebodymeone they could always push around and frighten. Yet? No. You looked different. Confident and assertive, angry. They eyed one another again shiftingnon there feet slightly before decideing to change tactics and steer the conversation away from what ever outburst was awaiting them if they continued to pry.

"Where is lord vader? Its seems unusual for him to be absent when he requested us, especially when he calls us into his own rooms" grand inquisitor asked trying to sound high and mighty, beliving him being here was an achievement, something he could brag about being called to the lords private chambers.

"Vader is;" you began with a smile realising that the man was trying to not only diffuse the situation but also regain control by name dropping your superior.

"Lord vader, he has a title" the other woman sneered once again testing you, trying to provoke you with a correction. Your gaze snapped to her, she flinched. You mentally pat yourself on the back. You were uncomfortable, anxious about this whole dominance thing. But you were more concered with the repercussions from Vader if you didnt heed his request. But even you took a second or so to appreciate that thrill seeing someone grow rigid and wary just from a single glance.

"Vader is occupied." You snapped at her actually feeling insulted by at the tought of being corrected by this woman who still seemed to think you were below her.

"Occupied?"

"Yes. And the only reason you are here is deal with that." You huffed waving a hand in the direction of the dismissed captain lying out of veiw, save for his feet pomeing out from behinde one of the leather sofa's. Both inquisitors frowned before side stepping, peaking around to see who had fallen ill of their lord.

"I-is that the Captain?" Second sister uttered outloud a light tremor to her voice. You could tell she was pnicked, the cptain was an extremely high ranked trusted officer. And to have been killed? Well it meant either vder was in a bad mood, or just plain furious. Both were never a good thing especially when you were due to see vader yourself. Youd much rather encounter him on a good day.

"Yes... It was unfortunate. But? Whats done is done." You finished repeating the words of vader himself. Only this time they seemed to settel more, there meaning truly sinking in. His life was over, done, gone and there was no bringing him back. No reason to mourn or fret over it. Much like life before the incidentwith the inquisitors? The life of a faceless engineer in the empire fleet. Your anonymity was a thing of the past, or it will be soon. You could feel it, the way your mind resigned itself to your new position. Youd always served vader, you just had a different role now.

"You've been called to clean up this mess"

"Of course, those are our lords orders" you bit your lip harshly. Did you dare push futher? Could you? 'Yes, assert yourself Lady vader' you gasped head tilting slightly, listening out in the direction of vader. For a moment you felt you might be going mad especially when neither inquisitor reacted to vaders voice coaxing you to retaliate. 'Im here, im always here wife' you tensed but nodded minutely locking eyes with the two people infront of you. You knew exactly wahat to do.

"No. They are mine. Though im sure vader wont mind me commanding you over such trivial things" your words escaped with little thought that time. You were beginning to understand why so mny superiors hd n attitude, it was invigorating commnding others with lttle consequence. Your tempted to order one of them to retrieve some caf for you, but the fear of them spitting in it was enough to deter you.

"We do not obey orders from a" grand inquisitor snarled eyes burning whislt taking a threatening step towrds you. It seems youd found his boiling point. You almost shrunk back at his menacing approach, but somehow held firm remaining still. Your stomch twisted in knots as you continued to stare him down. Quietly praying vader would hurry up nd pop out from his hiding place.

"From a what? Though do be aware you must choose your next words carefully, very very carefully there will be repercussions should i not enjoy them" your unsure how but you mnged an even tone, kept your words calm but sharp all the while praying vader would realise you were beckoming uncomfortable now. You were scared, fearfull of what a split second of anger could result in if the grand inquisitor did loose his cool and used the force against you.

"Or else what?" The hiss ws pure venom, he towered over you standing inches from you, the tip of his boots brushing yours. You opened your mouth to reply but couldnt, the words left you.

"You witnessed first hand what happens to those who antagonised my wife" You relxed instantly as your husband spoke whilst entering the room with an air of sinister mischief. But also a dull rage, he glanced at you quickly noting the how panicked youd seemed. And how close the grand inquisitor had gotten.

Vader straightened an rm out beckong you to him as he slowly crossed the space in measured steps. You side stepped the offending male and tucked yourself into vaders side, placing yourself under his cape smiling up at him thankfully as his arm curled round your waist.

He hummed in approval he definitely wanted to intimidate his inquisitors letting them know of the real connection between the two of you. Not that they could see his amusement below his mask that was now firmly placed on his head, shrouding his true beauty below the intimidating visage. You tried not to let him know you were uncomfortable with the way he'd orcastrated this little reveal. But your unsure if you managed to conceal it.

"Yes my lord" unlike you the two force weilders before you managed to shake the fearful shock within seconds at the revelation and snap into a tight posture. They looked to you with anxiety in their gaze, clearly wondering if their disrespectful teasing was going to cost them. You simply faced forward as yur husbands hand glided to the small of your back absentmindedly.

"I expect lady vader gave you her orders? Complete your task by the time we return." vader ordered befor turning to you dismissing the two underlings to their task.

"We have much to do this morning" he informed you acting as if you were still the only two in the room.

"W-we do?" You frowned, you hadnt realised you were busy today. Vader hadnt told you what you were doing, just that you were going to be with him for the morning. But then again you were quickly finding that vader didnt prewarn you. He planned things and then sprung them on you last minute.

"Yes, today we will visit the control center where you will install your track and trace protocol and whislt we are there we can inform the copilot of his promotion, nothing too exciting i assure you" he continued mking sure the other two could hear him. It was petty in a way, vader was flaunting you. Letting the inquisitors know you were to be conducting important business and trailing after your husband all day. And they will spend the morning as clean up crew.

"Im sure it will be exciting enough for our first excursion my love, im eager to join you, as much as i adore our home i do need to stretch my legs, a few laps of the halls will be some much needed exercise." You replied with a smile allbeit a nervous one. you hadnt tried to play anong with vader like this, so you were unsure if he'd reciprocate but it was worht a shot.

"My lady have i not provided you enough stimulation?" You could feel his smirk. As he teased you, playing the small game youd initiated just to spite the others into an awkward unsteady footing. He couldnt help the little thrill as he saw your tiny sadistic streak rear its head once more.

"I apologise for this oversight. I will be sure to indulge you more frequently in the future" with that you laughed out loud shaking your head at him before drifting closer placing a hand to his bicep squeezing lightly in thanks. He hummed to you raisingnhis other hand to pull yours down along his arm leaving it to settled in the crook of his elbow and held it there.

"As you should husband~"You told yourself you were playing a part,to piss off the other two currently on clean up duty. But there was a certain flutter of excitment, you couldnt help feel that the little vindictive victory over the inquisitors was just the first of many new privileges. And the fact vader had not only tolorated but actually played along with your spiteful little game helping you to tease them made you giddy. Were you aprihensive about your future with him? Sure. But so far the title lady Vader was working out smashingly.

"Come let us go" Vader spoke casually before stepping forward. He was pleased. There had been slight hiccups today but the way you'd obeyed him so quickly and stood up to the two inquisitors that had tormented you. You'd also trusted him to protect you if the inquisitors tried to attack. It was perfect and definitely made him realise he had chosen wisely. You really will be the perfect little wife he needed. And he doubts it will take long for you to fully submit yourself to your new role. When that day comes and you've truly proven yourself, you'll be rewarded. Given the honour of carrying his child, the heir to the galactic empire. He couldnt wait to have it all.

[antiwhores]

Brand New; Bakugouxreader

After chasing you away when it was revealed that you were pregnant, you start a new life. The baby didn’t survive so your life was your own withiut trave of him. A life without Bakugou. Can he do the same as good as you? You’re happy. Is he?

TW: hurt, angst, no comfort for Bakugou, unwanted pregnancy, miscarriage, break ups, fighting (verbal), good ending for reader, not proof read, unprotected sex, hatred.

I was just in that angsty mood yk? Yall btw, i wanna cut my vagina off fr. And i dont want myears anymore. Whats the point of hearing if it only works sometimes?! Ugh.

You resented him. Bakugou was officially dead to you. In fact he had been dead to you for a while. But when he decided to pop up into your life and try to ruin it again. You were pissed.

During your sophmore year of highschool you were dating Bakugou. You two were childhood friends, attached at the hip. But when he decided that fucking with a faulty condom would be a good thing, even when you protested, it all changed.

He got you pregnant. All because he didn’t wanna wait to get his dick wet till he could get a new condom to replace of the one he’d been carrying in his pocket for the whole span of the 3 day camping trip you two took.

Didn’t he understand that this was a huge change for you too? No, he was selfish.

“I don’t have time for a damn child! Im trying to be a hero for gods sake!” “Okay?! You can’t just try to force and abortion on me like that you piece of shit! This was all you! And you think I don’t have shit to do with my life to?!” “Your life isnt as important as mine!”

You packed your shit and left that week. You never looked back. And you regret nothing.

You moved out to the far countryside of Japan. Somewhere hidden in the fog of a deserted, closed off town. You finished your highschool years in that small little village. You got to know everyone in the town. You went to college in another side of the outskirts and graduated with a degree that would keep you happy.

The baby didn’t survive, you didn’t even have time to think about whether or not you wanted to keep it before it died. You remember going to the doctor about a day or two after the incident to check on the parasite in your stomach. It was gone.

You remember laughing biterly, tears whelling up at what the doctor told you. All that bickering and loss just for a false alarm. You were sick.

Now, for the first time in a long time, you were happy. You were 24 with a house and car, a stable job, plenty of non-judging allies, friends and good relationships, financial stability, a nice area of living, and most of all; you were without him.

You swore never to step back into the city again unless absolutely necessary. Not even for family visits. The family that did want to see you came out to you instead of vice versa. You also made sure not to tell any of your old friends where you had gone.

You knew he patrolled the streets. Even if theres a small chance you’d see him again, you wanted to prevent that at all costs.

But apparently no matter how far you ran, the past ran faster.

Everyone in the town knew eachothers stories and you were no exception. The town knew that you had been betrayed by such a famous man. They were kind, they took down any advertisements for the man, they talked shit whenever he came up on tv, etc.

So of course all hell broke loose when he came to your small town to work on a case. They knew they needed to keep you away from him and they knew how.

So, as Bakugou was roaming the streets, spreading his bitter aura like the plague on everything he touched, you hid.

The plan was almost compromised when he met eyes with you breifly. You were in a neighbors house when it happened. Everyone had just been notified that he came through so you weren’t ready.

You dissapeared from the window as quickly as you came. Even though he beckoned himself a fool, a crazy man for even thinking his first love was in this building after all these years still as gorgeous as he remembers; he still found himself walking up to the door and placing a firm knock.

It was not you whom answered his knock but the neighbor. A tiny brown woman with glassy green eyes who looked about 25. A coldness wafted off of her as she questioned his reasoning for knocking. He felt like a borderline schizophrenic. According to himself, he was just so deperate to see her again that when he saw a woman around the same age as you he was stiff and stunned.

He packed his shit and left that week. He looked back. He regreted everything.

[shiesan]

Shu Yamino HCs + more

I think it’s gender neutral? hehehehehehe i dont proof read pardun my ass.

Classmate edition!

- Class presiden’t. He has the vibes of a class president but isn’t the actual president. I fee like Shu would decline even if the whole class wanted him as president.

-Teachers’ fave. I can imagine Shu just minding his own business, reading away, and then suddenly the teacher calls him to answer the question a classmate failed to answer. He’s not arrogant about it though, sometimes he even gets them wrong but he apologizes immediately and states that he has much to learn. The exact reason why the profs love him lots.

-Shu is one of the best seatmates! Don’t have your book? Scoot a little closer and he’ll share with you. Need some trouble with a math problem? He’s there to help. Need a cough drop, pen, paper, paracetamol, and a whole house? he has it in his bag. Everyone at the start of the school year prays that they’ll be seated next to Shu. Did I mention he smells great?

-Lunches with him. He usually packs his lunch and eats with you. On most days you guys sit somewhere a bit more breezy and quite since you guys like to have silent time and a break from your rowdy classmates. 

“Y/N, why don’t we eat near that tree today! Its not too hot outside today so I think it’ll be pleasant.”

Sure enough it was. You guys always enjoy your lunch break with each other, sometimes even bringing the other person a little dessert or snack. So cute!

- Going Home. Shu is really the sweetest. When you guys are going home he ALWAYS follows the sidewalk rule! He tries not to be to obvious about it and hopes you don’t point out anything (babu is shy). Although he can’t go home with you all the time he makes sure you’re home safe, you are a good friend of his after all . He knows some of his friends take the same route as you so he asks them if they don’t mind looking after you as well (ofc without you knowing hehe). Tells you to immediately text him when you get home and reminds you to rest first before taking a bath.

-Summer Break. Messages you and asks if you want to hang out. Honestly he just misses you since he hasn’t seen you in two weeks.

Y/n, are you busy today?

Not really. Why?

Was wondering if you wanted to hang-out? I don’t really have anything in mind though hahaha.

You picked the arcade. It’s so much fun!! You remember that after every exam you guys would go to the arcade to celebrate and memories of Shu’s radiant smile immediately warms your heart. What is this. You’ve had a crush on Shu since forever! Ignoring it was so easy back then but not anymore. Especially when everyone around you thinks that there’s something between you guys. Honestly, you wish there was. You always thought “Oh, Shu’s future partner will be so lucky,” silently hoping that it was you. 

Discarding your romantic feelings toward the man was hard, you kept asking the universe to stop giving their least experienced player the hardest quests but alas! Here you are. Infront of the arcade you and Shu frequent. Silently hoping he doesn’t show up so your heart doesn’t go crazy and you live another day. But it’s Shu we’re talking about, the oh-so lovable Shu. 

The Shu that takes your breath away.

The Shu that always makes sure that you’re okay.

The Shu that will always help you with your homework.

The Shu that will always reach out to you first when it comes to group projects.

The Shu whose whole family loves you so much so that sometimes they tell Shu to bring another bento for you.

The Shu you spend all night playing online games with.

The Shu you want to be yours.

Maybe he’ll be your Shu one day.

Your thoughts get interrupted by the sorcerer himself, Shu Yamino.

“Y/N! I bought you a _____ shake on the way here. It’s a bit melted because of the heat, hope you don’t mind.” You shake your head, smile, and take the shake he was offering you. You hugged him as a sign of gratitude and just because you missed him, even if he drove you crazy.

Shu froze for a bit. It was quite strange, the feeling that Shu felt. It was like any normal hug though, you guys hugged plenty of times! Why now does he feel like he doesn’t want to let you go.

The hug that felt like minutes came to an end as you pulled away from him and dragged him into the arcade. With a bag of tokens in each of your hands you guys spend hours and hours inside the arcade. Hours spent having so much fun with the person you love, hours creating memories to cherish forever.

You wanted to switch thing up. Although anywhere with him feels like the best place on earth, you wanted to create a new core memory with him. 

“Shu, wanna go watch the sunset?”

Boing boing boing. A basketball falls to the floor, a ball that Shu was supposed to shoot but due to shock he just froze. Realizing what the did, he picks up the ball and returns in to the machine, dusting off his hands afterwards.

“Sure!” He smiles. That sounds sweet, said his inner thoughts. Shu returned the favor, this time he was the one who took you by the hand and dragged you outside to watch the sunset. 

The mall you guys frequent is actually close to the sea. The back of the mall overlooks the vast ocean and the sun happened to be setting in that direction. Hurried steps came from the both of you as you rush outside to make sure that you would see the sunset. It confused you though. The fact that Shu, instead of letting your hand go once you got out of the arcade had intertwined them instead. You weren’t complaining. Not at all. But this gave you the idea that maybe the feelings you thought were once one sided weren’t as one sided as you thought. 

“Ey, we’re here!” Shu says as you guys get close to a railing which gave you the perfect view of the sunset.

“Yeah,” you slowly say as you catch your breath. “We made it just in time.”

The sun slowly began to leave your sight, it looked like it was lowering itself into the ocean, leaving shades of red and orange behind. 

How pretty. Both of you thought. Your eyes remain on the setting sun and Shu’s sight remains on you.

He readjusts his grip on your hand, reminding you that he was still holding it. 

You took your eyes off of the sunset and looked him in the eyes. He looked so happy. So at peace with himself.

“Shu, your hand.” he maintains eye contact with you and just says “hmm?” 

“Your hand.” You say again, this time lifting your intertwined hands. 

He just smiles and holds your hand tighter. Suddenly it felt warmer. And suddenly you found yourself in Shu’s embrace.

______________________________________________

OKAY I LIED IT WASNT ONLY HCS

Anyways, hope you guys enjoy my ass writing. Till next time

-shie-san

[senanatheskenana]

Genshin Guys’ Voice Line About Your Death

Kaeya

“What... No- that can’t be right... There must have been a mistake- i’ll go and ask jean myself, im sure she’ll put our worries at ease. No, im not in denial, i-i just think you’re wrong! You have to be.“

Diluc

“I’m still not completely at peace with their... absence. The winery is far too big now and i find it hard to sleep at night without them. But i try my best to keep going for them. It feels marginally better now that i’ve avenged them.“

Venti

“I almost took their form but once i looked at my reflection i found it too painful. I don’t want to be constantly reminded that everything i love leaves... i dont want to move on, i want them back... “

Albedo

“It’s already been a week. Most people would experience a decrease in grief by now. And yet i feel just as horrible as i did when i was first told... I see their face in every drawing, and hear their voice in every storm- it’s torture. “

Xiao

“I don’t wanna talk about it. It feels like if i do i’ll explode. You can join me, but please don't ask me about it while we walk. I don’t want to think about what i’ve lost...“

Tartaglia

“You know, i never thought i’d ever find someone as perfect as them... I fell in love, I brought them to my family... And now, i have to tell them that (Y/N) is never coming back again.“

Zhongli

“I came to terms with the deaths of my friends. I learned to accept the things that cannot be prevented... And yet it still hits me like a landslide and i feel myself being buried alive by my grief. I’m still not sure if i want to pull myself out.“

Kaedehara Kazuha

“Many people believe that once you die your spirit will take the form of a bird. I always promised that when i died, my soul would follow (Y/N) wherever they went in the world. I can only hope their soul will find me soon... Oh, would you look at that, it’s a dove, what is it doing all the way out here, i wonder.“

Thoma

“You know sometimes i still make two plates at breakfast. And i still sleep on the right side of the bed because the other side is theirs. Half of the closet is theirs, half of the garden is theirs- half of me is still theirs, even now...“

Arrataki Itto

“Woah, woah, woah! That’s a pretty heavy joke... Hehe... You- You are joking. Right? Please tell me you’re joking...“

Gorou

“Watatsumi Island buried a brave soldier today. The resistance lost a fighter, we all lost a friend... And i- i lost the only thing i had. You guys head off, i’ll stay here a little longer.... I need to collect myself.“

Kamisato Ayato

“Have you ever tried to keep water in your cupped hands? No matter how hard you try, it will leak, and eventually there will be nothing left. That is how i feel. No matter the effort i spend to keep face, i feel myself showing through the cracks.“

Tighnari

“My kind mate for life. When we find the one, we stay together for as long as time permits, and we love completely and as passionately as we can. Unfortunately i do not believe that any amount of time would have been long enough for me to have accepted their death.“

Cyno

“It’s quiet now. No one laughs at my jokes- there's no jokes for me to laugh at. I’m not even sure if i can think normally anymore. I’m thinking of resigning once again. I need to think about things.“

Scaramouche

“All you humans are weak... But, not- not (Y/N). For the first time i think i understand that love and kindness don't make you weak, but using that to your own advantage does. So i’ll hunt out every one of those bastards and make them beg for death. Then we’ll see who’s weak.“

[away-ward]

im sorry for this rant KO, but why on earth is the bonus content for nightfall is the start of the horsemen? Like omfg. I really dont need it to exist because i like the mystery of them. Why can't we just have a willemmy bonus 😭 i'm so fucking upset. I initially wanted to pre-order the paperback but thinking about that whole alex drama in BC, i didn't, thank the lord for that! But i was still hoping for a willemmy bonus or maybe a will or emmy's back story, but we're getting to see Damon, A-FUCKING-GAIN? How many fucking bonus do we have to see him??! Fuck, i'm so upset, idk who to rant this with because i don't talk about this series to anybody irl.

Excerpt from PD's insta:

DAMON GRABS HIS JACKET OFF THE COURT AND PULLS IT ON AS HE LEAVES.

"YOU OKAY?" MICHAEL ASKS KAI.

BUT KAI JUST GESTURES TO DAMON WHO PUSHES THROUGH THE HEAVY DOUBLE DOORS. "I TOLD YOU, MAN," HE BLURTS OUT TO MICHAEL. "HE'S TROUBLE."

"NO," MICHAEL QUICKLY RETORTS, LOOKING IN THE DIRECTION DAMON LEFT. "HE'S AN ENFORCER, KAI."

HIS FRIEND STARES AT HIM.

"AND EVERY TEAM NEEDS ONE," MICHAEL ADDS, DROPPING THE BASKETBALL INTO KAI'S HANDS. "TELL THE COACH I'LL BE RIGHT BACK."

end-

🥲 ngl, i'm so sick of damon's appearance, at this point not only his character wasn't my fav, pd over-pushing him makes me really hate him now. "He's the enforcer" ughhhh, and when did this branding ever came up in the devil's night series? I only remember this point being discussed here on your blog of your meta about damon's character and his implicit role in their friend group and family. Istg i really never saw his role being discussed and branded like this anywhere, so the only place it could happen was in the private chat's of their pendragon fb group or between PD and their editor/most trusted beta readers. Istg the pettier side of me feels like some of PD's fb group fans saw your discussion posts here with other anons and told on PD, then they got inspired by you ideas about "his role" in the family. Which in theory, i don't see much wrong from it, but truly, where did this role establishment and branding came from? And ofc in PD's fashion, they had to rebrand Damon's role to be positive and borderline inspiring 🙄

and fuck, who cares about logic right? Definitely not PD when they kept on writing A and meaning B in their stories, but kept on being pissed off when readers understood it as A. 🤡

at this point, i'm not even excited anymore for this bonus content. I genuinely thought something good will come out of it, but with their opinion of willemmy a few weeks ago, and now with this. Idk. But I just know and fully sure now that PD just wanted to avoid the alex-aydin-will-emmy qna discussion extra materials, because they knew they fucked that one up, and many readers hated it, and so they probably want to just bury that shit and move past it. So of course, we'll never gonna get a willemmy bonus content. Ugh. I can't fault them for wanting to move on, but for someone who wnats to move on so bad and ignore the uncomfy parts of their own mistake in writing, they sure as hell is still be talking and hinting at this series from time to time especially for their most fav characters 🙄

but fr KO, it really left a sour taste in my mouth when an author behaves like this. Penelope Douglas is just so, ugh, idk. At this point ideky i'm still hoping for them to be better tbh when they've always been known to be problematic, like they're always just so disappointing. I need to detach my feelings for books i like to read with their authors, because i'm just gonna end up upset like this. But it's so hard!!! Especially when they're indies and you like some parts of the things they put out, and can't always find it anywhere else. Ughhh. i heard that series by Monty Jay was giving DN, so i might check it out, and i really hope it's better.

+ when you get a reach of the bonus materials, will you be sharing them here and share your thoughts and opinions about them? I'm a big yapper and i just wanna yap with somebody about it frfr.

Hey. Oh man, I feel your pain.

I really dont need it to exist because i like the mystery of them. Why can't we just have a willemmy bonus

Ohh, I wish I was with you on this but I’m actually excited about it. As someone who wants to understand these characters better, and who absolutely goes bonkers over character origin stories, this is right up my alley. I never expected any kind of Willemmy scene, so maybe I’m not as disappointed as I would be otherwise.

From what I heard, there are some willemmy scenes in this origin story though! So not all hope is lost (although I don’t know how it’s supposed to make sense, since I’ve also heard that this starts during their freshmen year and Emmy’s a year younger so… but whatever. I’m just happy for the moments!)

I am so sorry that this isn’t what you wanted!

Istg the pettier side of me feels like some of PD's fb group fans saw your discussion posts here with other anons and told on PD, then they got inspired by you ideas about "his role" in the family. Which in theory, i don't see much wrong from it, but truly, where did this role establishment and branding came from?

As much as this idea tickles me, the fact is that this was probably written months ago, and I only really had that discussion with in the past few weeks. More than likely, we were just picking up on something PD was implying the entire time.

But I just know and fully sure now that PD just wanted to avoid the alex-aydin-will-emmy qna discussion extra materials, because they knew they fucked that one up, and many readers hated it, and so they probably want to just bury that shit and move past it.

I’m still holding out of that pinterest board and discussion questions (though, it may be a lost cause). It just seems so stupid that they’d withhold those two things since they’re so minor compared to the bonus scene.

they sure as hell is still be talking and hinting at this series from time to time especially for their most fav characters

Coming from a writer’s perspective, it’s hard to let your favs go. Long after the other characters stop “speaking” to you, your favs come back. You still see them doing stuff. And PD is proud of the series, so of course they’re not going to bury it.

But yes, I agree that the fandom has been pretty loud about wanting some more willemmy content for some closure, and it shouldn’t be this hard to sit and think about the characters and deliver something, just to be kind to your readers and fans. I can’t say why PD is so resistant to it, but that’s for them to know.

i heard that series by Monty Jay was giving DN, so i might check it out, and i really hope it's better.

I had to look it up, and I’m assuming you’re speaking about the hollow boys? I haven’t read it, but if you do get around to it, I hope you enjoy it.

Regarding PD, I hardly ever look into the background of an author or give them a second thought. I also have never had the desire to contact an author, or do meet and greets or anything, that’s just me. So, I’ve never had the issue of needing to detach a work from an author, but I can see the struggle.

+ when you get a reach of the bonus materials, will you be sharing them here and share your thoughts and opinions about them? I'm a big yapper and i just wanna yap with somebody about it frfr.

I absolutely will share my thoughts, of course! I might do a reading react, or just a summary of my thoughts, whatever feels right. Again, I feel for your frustration and disappointment. The let down is never easy, but you'll read better books in the future. This isn't the last of it for you. So look forward to finding your next favorite read.

-KO

[cupoftaae]

Forever And A Day (KTH x READER) series ♡ please hold my hand (chapter 11)

Summary: your lifelong friend is forced to face his true feelings for you once he breaks the number one rule of becoming friends with benefits: dont fall in love. He knows he loves you, but you on the other hand need more convincing of the most important thing: the right decision.

Genre: fwb. Roommates, friends to idiots to lovers, fluff, angst, smut, the whole 9 yards tbh.

Pairing: taehyung x female!reader

rating: 18+ (minors dni!!!)

word count- 6k

chapter warnings- swearing, fighting, so much fucking angst omg, anxiety, panic attack, mentions of pregnancy, mentions of body issues, mentions of abortion.

author note- Hey guys, apologies on the delayed posting, life has yet to calm down for me and im writing in my free time to try and distract me, (free time which is very limited) I wrapped up my semester and now im getting a job, recently someone close to me passed and on top of that im dealing with family fights and shit, so ive been trying to not rip my hair out. I love all of you guys so much and appreciate you for reading my stories, i know im a smaller author on here just writing silly bts fics and stuff but I find comfort in having a small community on here that I can run to when I need to just get away from everyone irl. Sorry for the blabbling but yes- bottom line is I just appreciate you all so much <3 feel free to ever message me anytime if you need someone to talk to, im here always.

enjoy the chapter!

Taehyung knew you were off

something wasnt right and he knew it, but he also knew to give you time to come to him on your own.

The next morning he sat with you in the bathroom, it was pretty early and birds could be heard outside chirping as the sun rose.

"so....whats going on?" he asked

You woke up first, trying (Failing) to come up with some way to explain that you are pregnant, he heard you pacing the room and stress organizing random shit, so he awoke too.

"nothing"

He frowned, "but last night you told me you wanted to talk" he gently reached out and pulled you closer to him, your eyes glued to the floor.

"oh that..i um...."

its now or never.

Do it.

tell him.

Tell him you are pregnant, we're gonna have a ba-

"i was wondering when I could have my phone back" you blurbed out

His eyes sank to yours, "Y/N...." he sighed, "when we get back to Busan"

"but i just want to check stuff...really quickly" you looked at him, eyes wide

"i dont think thats a good idea"

"why not?"

"because of everything that is going on...you dont need to get hurt by Kaito and his stupid ass friends anymore than you already have"

"but-"

"no" he shushed, "those rumors are only rumors and will die down soon, fuck that school....just enjoy the rest of the week with me" he softly whispered, pressing the lightest kiss to your lips as you frowned.

sure, it was an excuse to cover up the actual problem at hand, but you really did want your phone back, your mind had been so caught up with baby kim that you completely forgot about the shit storm you had to walk into the moment your flight landed back in Busan.

You refused to look at him as he rubbed your back, "cmon, lets shower"

you both ended up underneath the warm water, cuddling up as your face leaned into his chest, silently.

His hands softly roamed to hold your hips, squishing your skin slightly.

"hey!"

He softly giggled, "m'sorry baby"

"no" you scoffed and tried to move his hands off your waist. "I know I gained weight dont make me feel like shit"

He immediately frowned, "honey i wasnt trying to make you upset, you look beautiful, I think you actually look even prettier, you were losing so much weight this past year with stress and school....you look healthier"

"healthy is code for fat, no?"

Taehyung shook his head, "no baby, i mean it, you are so beautiful"

you turned around to face the shower head as he ran his fingers through your wet hair.

"why are you so moody?" he whispered softly, kissing your shoulder

"im not!"

He hummed, "kinda..."

"just stop" you sighed, wringing your hair out and pushing the curtain aside to get out, drying and wrapping your body with a towel as Taehyung watched, concerned.

You wanted to tell him so bad, but every time the possibility of even mentioning the situation tried to come up, you froze.

You still couldn't fathom it yourself....you were so young...and about to have a kid that you didnt plan for.

You hated it. You hated every ounce of it, because now you were growing attached to the small little thing, it didnt even have a formed body yet and it was already starting to make you feel protective and soft.

You found yourself resting your hand on your abdomen every now and then, not even realizing it. You also saw yourself whispering to it as you ranted when you were alone.

You didnt hate the baby, its not like they asked to be there, it was yours and taehyungs fault, and it was a symbol of the love between you both.

What you hated however- was the fact you knew you didnt have what it takes to be a mother, and the baby would end up resenting you and never speaking to you after 18 years.

You were guilty and sad and struggling, and all you wanted to do was be held and loved and told that it was gonna realistically be okay.

And you knew the only way you could get that is if you told someone.

The rest of the week went by okay,

Your mother had taken tae and you up to her friends farm where you both had worked and helped him plant flowers, you also discovered that this "friend" of hers was anything but.

"hey they look kinda cute" taehyung giggled, filling the soil with his potted flowers

you crossed your arms, "no they dont, shes literally seeing someone and didnt even tell me!! her daughter!!! can you imagine??"

Taehyung smiled, "well...its not like you and i arent keeping anything from her right" he smirked

"if we told her we were 'dating' I doubt she would be shocked, this is different"

"how so?"

"Shes just...." you sighed and watched the front porch of his farm, where your mom and him sat on the swing "thats not my dad"

"dont you want her to be happy, y/n?"

"this isnt about that....what if he breaks her heart like dad did? what if he just fucking leaves when things get difficult?"

Taehyung looked at you softly, knowing this was more than you being upset at your mom finding a romantic interest and not telling you.

"its okay" he whispered, pulling your attention back to the flowers.

Your mind was racing, and suddenly you got hit with a thought that knocked the wind out of you.

What if taehyung left?

the men in your life dont have a good track record here, and what if him being happy over the baby isnt true, what if he is mad and leaves....its so easy for him to just leave.

As the trip ended, you began to distance yourself slightly, as if you were already trying to prepare for when he does go.

The morning of your flight, the thought of getting on another plane ride nauseated you

"we gotta get you anti-motion sickness pills" taehyung smiled, handing you your coffee order from the airport starbucks. "you arent even on the plane yet and you seem pale."

Coffee, not good for the baby. You read that on a forum last night.

You nod, looking off into the distance as he tries to hold your hand to walk to the end of the terminal, you slowly step away

"you ok?" he whispers, looking at you

"y-yeah...just clammy...dont wanna hold hands"

He nodded in understanding.

You wanted to hold him, climb on his back as he walked even, but you needed to distance yourself, in case it ended up being just you and baby.....just as was with your mom and you.

As you found your way to your seats, you tried to just sleep away all your thoughts, but it proved more difficult than you hoped.

Taehyung slept peacefully as you bounced your knee and picked at your nails. The poor woman sitting in front of both of you struggled to keep her own children in their seats while she fed her newborn, who was beginning to wail.

Damn....you were overwhelmed just watching

Taehyung woke up and darted his eyes to the kids in front of him, one boy peeking around to both of you and sticking out his tongue.

He softly giggled and waved, whispering "hello" as he shot you a knowing look.

They made a small interaction with eachother, doing silly faces back and forth until the younger child got tired and crawled over to his mothers lap once more. To say it wasnt cute was a lie.

Maybe he would be okay, perhaps you were overthinking it all

He would be excited, right?

You weakly smiled and took a sip of water, stomach churning.

Taehyung lifted the arm-rest so he could move closer, his arm pulling you to him as he kissed your head- you were trapped.

"Want some mint gum?" he whispered, reaching into his little bag

"no im okay"

"princess it might help the nausea?"

you sighed and leaned away, "im fine just stop"

he frowned and looked back at the small tv in front of him, his own mind stressing over if he did or said something wrong to you. Youve been super moody towards him since the trip and it was a tad bit concerning.

You felt awful, but you were overstimulated with so much shit that you couldnt put on a lovey dovey act right now.

Taehyung put his headphones on and unwrapped the piece of gum, placing it into his own mouth as his head rested against the seat, defeated.

this is wrong

this is so fucking wrong, and you know it. He has been there for you time and time again, and you just push him away when you know he would be more than accepting of the situation that very much involves the two of you.

Rip the fucking bandaid off.

Later that night, you two finally arrived home to your apartment after getting out of your uber.

"let me take these to the elevator" tae smiled, taking your luggage and throwing it over his shoulder.

"thanks" you whispered, rubbing your eyes in exhaustion.

You leaned against him after pressing the button of your floor and getting your key out.

"sleepy?" he mumbled

"yeah..."

the doors open and both of you walk down the hall, passing doors of other apartments.

It was peaceful, being home.

You had fun with your mother and spending your birthday at your childhood home, but nothing will beat the comfort of this apartment.

You watched the back of taehyungs head as he walked in front of you, holding two suitcases while making sure his fish baby was okay as well, it was adorable.

Your eyes were fixated on him as you approached the end of the hall

You placed the key into the door and practically watched him drop everything to the floor, (besides the tiny fish tank)

"we can unpack tomorrow right?" he sighed, tiredly

you nod and begin to walk into your bedroom, where taehyung follows.

after getting comfy and clean, the two of you settled into bed in the dark room.

Taehyungs arm draped over your waist, keeping your back flush against his chest.

You sighed, closing your eyes as peacefully as you could as his lips found their way to your shoulder and neck

"tae-"

"i missed you" he whispered, a hint of humor in his voice

your eyes stayed glued to the wall

"dont get me wrong, I love your mom, but she is the number one cock blocker-"

"im tired and want to sleep." you speak, voice stern now.

he pulled away as if you burned him, "...sorry" his head fell against the pillow as he rolled to lay on his back.

It was quiet for a moment, "did i do something wrong?" he whispered

you took a second to reply, "what?"

"this entire week, things have been....weird....with us. Did i upset you, princess?"

Taehyungs voice was low and shaky, as if he was afraid of breaking you. Sure, the week was bad in the aspects of Kaito and his bullshit, but there was no reason to take it out on taehyung.

"are you saying this because I dont want to have sex right now?" you sat up, looking at him with disgust.

He quickly threw his hands up in defense, "baby- no!! Thats not it at all, its nothing to do with anything like that"

You audibly sighed, running your hands over you face as you listened to him speak

He continued, "you just seem....off...and i want to make sure that you are ok"

to make sure....that you are ok.

The man who has little to worry about in this life, and situation wants everything to be okay.

You threw the covers off your body, rising to your feet as you walked towards the bathroom, suddenly it was too much again.

Too much to juggle, too much for one single woman to deal with at once, it wasnt fucking fair that you were here right now.

You blamed yourself because you both were careless, and now you blame yourself because you have authority, and responsibility for this child. Yes- he may want it, but your mind races back to the fact of how he struggles to even look after himself. He might get overwhelmed and give up, your life may fall apart, and hes rambling about YOU being OKAY?

"where are you going?" he got up quickly, following after you

You pivoted on your heel, blocking him from entering the bathroom with you, "i just want to be alone right now taehyung, Please"

He scoffed, "you cant act like this, get me all worried, then run away and hide, thats not fair!"

Your eyes widened, "not fair? why is how I act not fair to you? why do you assume every action, every emotion, every breath is about YOU??"

He stood back a little, not prepared for how you suddenly turned from cold shoulder to just plain angry.

"y-you have no idea!" you gripped your hair as you got a glance of yourself in the mirror, and as quick as it was, tears began to form at the lining of your eyes.

"idea of what, y/n? you are scaring me" taehyung whispered, unsure if he should attempt to comfort you.

You took a few breathes and rubbed your arms to self soothe yourself, "Its late....im tired....youre tired, lets just sleep please"

"sleep? after this?"

you nod, silently shutting the door to the bathroom as he stood in front of it. "you are gonna sleep in the fucking bathroom?"

"who cares if I do?"

He sighed, looking down. He wanted to help and was only met with a door slamming to the face, and you ignoring his pleas to help you with whatever this was.

He tried once more, hand jiggling the door handle, "baby...baby please....."

You sat on the other side, your back pressed against the door and your knees to your chest as tears fell freely now. You felt like an awful person- perhaps you were one.

He whispers, voice cracking, "whats going on? why wont you....why cant I help?"

You wiped your eyes, looking down at your hands as taehyung spoke behind the door. "please just go...."

"no...im not going to leave you when you are in an emotional state like this"

"please." you try once more

"y/n, im not joking around anymore, open the fucking door."

Your heart raced at his sudden fed up tone, you knew he wasnt going to let this rest tonight.

"y/n....open the door"

the two rooms were filled with silent breathing, it felt like forever before you suddenly stood up as he listened to your shuffling.

You blew your nose and looked at yourself in the mirror again, a mess. an absolute mess, how could one fuck up this badly?

suddenly...this is beyond you, especially in this moment.

Its not just your life anymore, and you are being selfish a bit. He has a right to know, its not just a you problem. You sigh, eyes on the mirror. all you could see was someone whos had maybe one of the biggest downfalls of the century....but you also saw a girl who was vulnerable, and wanted to try.

Your hand shakes as it moved to unlock and open the door, you met taehyung who stood there with fear in his eyes, obviously more than just concerned over the bizarre behavior.

"taehyung." you whispered so quietly, that if any other noise was occurring in the house, he wouldnt have heard you.

He stuck his eyes onto yours, not leaving for a second.

"i-im.." you choked, trying to compose yourself.

"youre what, princess?" he whispered, using your same soft and comforting tone

shaking your head, you let out a soft sob, feeling embarrassed but knowing there was no other way around the situation anymore, and the longer you dragged this out, the worse things crumbled

you said it in one, big, relieving exhale. it felt wrong to say aloud, but your chest was no longer tight, breathing was slightly easier.

"i'm pregnant."

Taehyung's air left his lungs, his face contorted into different expressions, mouth moving to form words yet nothing was coming out.

You couldnt look at him anymore, eyes darting to your feet.

"i-im sorry...fuck" you walked past him, moving into the living room as he stayed where he was.

You stood in the center of the room, shocked at what you had just done on some random night, the clock read 2:28am. You wanted something special, and instead you dumped it on him as if you were telling him what you were making for dinner.

he looked around, the words you just said suddenly hitting him, suddenly becoming real.

"youre what?" he whispered to himself, heart beginning to race as he turned around quickly and chased after you.

you had moved to sit near the window, looking at the city in the dark room. His soft footsteps could be heard over your quiet cries.

"dont hate me" you cried, "please dont hate me" you wiped your eyes, unable to turn around to face him. "I already hate myself, I know this isnt what we had planned but god...taehyung," you turned your head softly, eyes blood-shot, "please dont go" you whispered.

He stood behind you, hands clammy.

You tried your best not to have a full blown meltdown, you were already tired enough.

He slowly sank to his knees, a softer expression overtaking his previous one.

"i-if you w-want me to abort it, I dont think I can" you sobbed, "i know school isnt even done yet, we are so young and everyone will hate me, im so sorry taeh-"

He inturrupted you quickly, wrapping you into his arms tightly, tears of his own falling. "no, no no,.." he tucked your face into his neck, softly swaying. "no...no no"

You only cried harder, your hands clutching his shirt with a plea to not leave.

"I-" he sighed, taking a few breathes, "I could never leave you" his hands tightened, "you mean so fucking much to me, and you think I would ever leave, or ask you to abort the baby? something we made, together?"

His eyes were shut, voice trembling with fears of his own, however most of all he was relieved you finally told him.

"i love you so much, god y/n, I love you so much" he rocked a little, hand brushing up and down your back. "you thought I would hate you? baby, no....God no"

"I was so scared" you whisper, unable to pull away

"it's going to be okay, i promise, I know its not the ideal situation, but im not going anywhere, im here for you, okay?"

You sniff, his thumb caressing your cheek softly

"we are going to be good parents, a good supportive family, i'll never leave you"

his hand gently moves down to your stomach, holding the non noticeable baby. suddenly everything made sense.

"we got this, right? we...we can handle anything, because we are a team, and I love you"

"i love you too" you sniff, head pounding.

His eyes scanned yours, "keeping it, is what you want right?"

You nod

"then thats what we will do, and guess what? everything will be fine" he smiled so softly and lovingly, your heart felt constricted. "it'll be difficult, but we are here, together."

"together" your voice is tired and scratchy, a part of you feeling weightless as the fact he now knows sinks in. Its no longer a built up secret you have to hide, he knows.

"and...maybe being parents will be fun?" he giggles quietly, "we can do trips with them, nothing has to change, y/n."

You sigh softly, looking at him, "a lot is going to change, and you need to prepare yourself for that, its not like having a pet, its a real baby with real needs that depends on us for survival..." you look at your clasped hands, "its serious shit"

He nods, frowning a bit

"and I need to start getting a job that pays more than what Ms.Choi is giving me....this is gonna be expensive, I dont know what we are gonna do" your hand covered your face as your breathing picked up again, taehyung watching.

"we will work it out, is what we will do" he spoke softly, he gently removed your hands from your face. "have you seen some of the people who have kids and make it out alive? I think you and I will be just fine...." he speaks "and plus....I think our parents would be more than happy to not only hear about this, but help out too"

You sighed, "fuck I forgot we need to tell our families, Taehyung thats gonna be so embarrassing! my mom-"

"probably already suspected we were closer than 'friends', and how is that embarrassing? our parents have been trying to push us together for quite some time"

"because I dont talk about this shit with people, even my mom, and it makes me .....uhg"

He giggles softly, "shh...its okay, im sure she knows you arent 19 anymore, we are adults"

adults. yeah.

His hands gently held your sides, "my beautiful girl....how long have you known?"

You pushed the hair out of your face, "since Wednesday, I took a test on my birthday"

Taehyung frowned, "and youve been dealing with this alone since then?"

You nod, "remember when I said I needed to get tampons? yeah...I bought a test instead" you slightly smile.

He nodded "hm..im sorry you had to deal with that, Your behavior is forgiven"

"oh about that...im sorry for being a bitch to you, you were just trying to help."

He sighs softly, "y/n, you dont need to apologize, I was just worried about you....im sure within the next 9 months we will deal with a lot of scary emotions, so I better suck it up"

You smile, "i'll try to be good"

"you already are" he kissed the top of your head, helping you both stand to your feet. He looked at your stomach, a smile in knowing what was in there. "baby" he gestured, "thats ours"

You nod, hands resting on his shoulders,

"we will be fine?"

"we will be more than fine...we will be great"

-

The next morning, you had decided on taking a day off to just live in bed.

This was your last day before you returned to classes for the last bit of the semester, so you wanted to take it easy as possible before facing the crazy drama to come.

You laid under the covers, sipping the water taehyung had given you as he placed the duffle suit case onto the end of the bed, taking out the clothes and folding them, putting them into your closet.

"so have you thought about calling your doctor?" he spoke up, watching you eat the breakfast he made you.

You sat up a bit, "yeah, im gonna call her today possibly, ill make an appointment for this weekend."

He smiles shyly, "can I come?"

You couldnt help but giggle, "you are the father, so yes obviously you can"

"well I didnt know what your boundaries are here..."

You tilt your head, "what do you mean?"

"well like.." he folded one of your dresses, "we havent established our "relationship" if you will, and so I wasnt sure what the boundaries were for me-"

You smile, "I mean....taehyung...we are having a child together, I dont think we have to worry about formalities anymore, right?"

He smiles, shrugging as he hung up more of your clothes, something you insisted on doing yourself but the overprotective taehyung was already sprung into action, forcing you to do absolutely nothing.

"well when you say it like that It sounds funny" he giggled

"hmm then do as you want" you mumbled as he climbed onto the bed, sitting next to you and holding your hand. He cleared his throat before speaking "y/n...would you do me the honor of being my girlfriend, officially?"

"that is so middle school" you snort

"yes or no"

"wow, an offer that includes strings attached, thats new"

"hey you were the one who suggested friends with benefits"

"and now we are sitting here pregnant"

Taehyung giggled, "yes or no!!!"

"hmm.....yeah I guess"

you laughed as he flung onto you, kissing all over your face and holding you close, his long legs knocking off some of the laundry piles he made.

"there goes the clothes" you frown

"aish I'll fold them again, dont worry angel" he sat up and stood after giving you a long kiss on the lips, making you blush.

You want to call yourself silly for worrying so much, the taehyung standing in front of you is incomparable to the one you imagined he would be after telling him, you are relieved but know a lot more is still to come.

You knew taehyung loved you, and wanted to care for you as much as possible, but God, little did you know to what extent.

"taehyung I can walk to class myself, Walking is good for me"

You looked back at your boyfriend as he watched you exit the car while dropping you off at class the next day.

"just be careful, ok? and dont let anyone try anything with you" his eyes scanned the students roaming the campus. "call me if they do, yeah?"

You smile, nodding, "sure....okay, I love you"

"I love you too, ill pick you up at 3 ok?"

You nod softly, waving him off as you begin to walk to class.

You were sweaty with anxiety, eyes forced down to the ground you walked on to avoid any weird glares thrown your way.

This whole Kaito and Annie situation was, and should be, the least of your worries right now- all you wanted to do was finish the semester and be done for a little while, enjoying your pregnancy the best you can with Taehyung at home..

You walked into your theatre class, you were met with Chae, who you havent spoken to in months.

"y/n...where have you been?" she raised a brow, looking up from her phone.

"um, vacation"

"oh" she lowers her gaze on you, you suddenly feel angry that she even feels like its ok to communicate with you right now after taking Kaitos side.

"hows taehyung?" she continues as you take a seat

"im here for class, and class only, dont start anything with me" you spoke without even looking in her direction.

"I just think its funny that you flea right when everything is going on" she shrugged

"I went to go see my mom, not that its any of your buisness"

"listen, kaito isnt a great person and all but he is my friend, and you cheated on him with taehyung after blowing him off"

You scoffed, "oh like how he almost blew my face off? with his fist?"

She sighed, "and poor annie too....she liked taehyung and you just-"

You stopped her from finishing, "listen, chae, You dont know anything and If i were you i would worry a little less on my life and more on yours, everyone knows you failed your final exam because you cant keep your head out of other peoples asses for 3 fucking seconds" you bit and immediately stood, walking out before class even started.

maybe your english class will go better than this one.

-

Later that night, you sat in bed, head full of worry of what the next 2 weeks would bring at school.

in total, 5 kids had came up to you asking if the "rumors were true!"

you wish you had the willpower to punch their stupid fucking faces, but you needed your degree.

You decided against telling taehyung, which, yes, has proved to not be a good thing to do but you didnt want him to worry anymore about you. You are 23, a big girl who can handle childish college drama. they just need to get over it, and hopefully after they see that you dont care, they will move on with their lives.

"hey im back" taehyung walked into your room, a bag of snacks from the small store down the street, you were craving chips and he wasted no time going to grab them for you.

"are these good?" he held up the snacks, making your stomach growl,

"mm yes, thank you baby" he came over and gave you them, kissing you on the forehead. "what else did you get?" you smiled, looking at the semi-full grocery bag in his hand.

He turned shy, a small innocent smile on his face, "oh um.." he reached into the bag and pulled out a small teddy bear that had the initial of K on it, it was utterly adorable. he giggled softly, "I saw it there and thought it would be cute for the uh, baby" he spoke quietly.

"taehyung" you pouted, holding the bear, "im gonna cry this is such a soft thing for you to do" you giggled and looked at him, "they will love it honey"

"you think?" he smiled

"yes of course" you cupped his face, your heart filled with so much love for this boy, "come here" you whispered, arms reaching over his shoulders as he gently laid against you.

"youre so fucking cute...I love you" you whispered, hand running in his hair

"I love you too" he hummed, eyes closing against your chest.

You looked at the bear again, brining it closer to you. "K for kim"

"yess" he giggled softly

You kissed his head gently and held him tight, "thank you...for being here."

"I wouldnt miss out on this for anything, y/n."

You tried your best to not tear up at his soft words

"can I?" he gestured to your stomach

you nod, curious to what he wants to do

He carefully rolls up your tank top and kisses your stomach, whispering something

"Hi baby, its tae- er, its your daddy" he giggled, looking up at you as you watched happily

"I know from your perspective, things seem crazy but I promise mommy and I are gonna make you the happiest baby ever, we love you so much" he smiled, kissing your stomach once more as you felt tears fall. “We won’t let anything happen to you”

You brushed his hair back as he looked up, eyes meeting yours. “Honey why are you crying?”

“Because” stupid hormones.

He smiled and crawled up, kissing you gently before you brought him down to lay on you again.

“It’s silly…I was so fucking scared to tell you this, so afraid I’d be alone, or that shit would fall apart….but strangely now I feel like for the first time in forever, things are going ok”

He smiles as well, “I feel the same way, im genuinely happy”

“Me too…maybe this was meant to happen, hm?”

“The universe planted a baby into our laps and suddenly we are cured of any issue”

You laughed, “well, not quite, but in most aspects I feel happier than I did before, im glad we are doing this together”

“I am too, it’s gonna be so fun going to all the appointments and then finding out the gender, oh and getting to decorate the nursery”

You rubbed his back, feeling content in his words. “I was thinking about when we tell your family and mine, they are gonna be like oh my god when we tell them we are dating, then boom, pregnancy!”

He looked up, watching you as you spoke.

“Aren’t your parents gonna be angry we did things in the wrong order? Baby before marriage? What if I get disowned” you teased

“Listen, we both know my parents words aren’t anything to take seriously, they are all bark and no bite…im not gonna let them or anyone else do or say anything to hurt you”

“I just want us to be happy”

“And we will be, in our own little bubble” his hand gently rubbed your stomach “are you nervous? About motherhood?”

“More than anything taehyung”

“I’ll be here to help you, ok? You are such a sweet and loving person, you’ll have no issue being a mom and doing it flawlessly at that”

“It’s not just my skill I’m worried about, it’s just….it’s silly but I’m scared about my body changing. I struggle with these things and I know weight gain is healthy in pregnancy but…”

“Baby I refuse to hear you talk badly about your figure…look at you, so fucking sexy and you don’t even have to try. I don’t care what weight you are, or how you look now vs in 9 months, I love you for you and nothing will change that”

You frowned as he kissed all over your face “I love you too…”

“Eat your snacks baby, then let’s get some sleep yeah?”

“Yes…” you opened up the chip bag as taehyung got into his night clothes.

“Oh I scheduled the appointment today” you spoke up, biting into a wafer.

“Yeah? How was it?”

“Well I was a little timid about telling her but she was very happy to know and said she will take me in on Saturday morning for an ultrasound”

Taehyung jumped back into bed, “ah! This is so exciting baby”

“Mm” you giggle, giving him a chip.

“Do we find out the gender?”

You found his words adorable “no sweet boy, that’s not for a bit, but we get to hear the heartbeat and take home sonograms”

“Ohh, yay!” He smiled, cuddling back into you, arm resting over your abdomen protectively.

“Did you feed fishy?” You gesture to the small tank next to the bed. Taehyung shot up “shit…I will now, sorry little guy” he frowned.

“Hope you don’t forget to feed our human baby”

“No promises” he teased, sprinkling some food pellets into the water for the small yellow fish.

You waited for him to return next to you as he settled under the covers. “Comfy baby?” He whispered, shutting the lamp off.

“Mm” you cuddled into him once more as he rubbed your back.

“I love you”

“I love you more my angel, goodnight”

Taglist-

@turnthepageandbeburnt @taebangtanbabe @borahaexoxo @lelefoodlover @tan-veee @bokieya

[lunart-06]

I just imagine hinaegi spending christmas together and how they would take turns on who to spend it with. The first year they decide to spend it with makoto's family (the thh kids, komaru and maybe some friends makoto made on the future foundation), Hajime is nervous out of his mind, he spent weeks in advance searching for the best gifts for everyone, specially togami (even tho makoto assured him everything would be okay.) he enters the room fucking sweating, but everything turns out to be amazing!!! The vibes are just so cozy, and even with the initial nervousness, Hajime feels like he's home in a few hours, he gets to hear a bunch of stories of makoto from the others, be it the stories from his childhood that komaru tells everyone while makoto hides his face in embarrasment, or be it the little facts about the killing game that the friends accidentally slip up, Hajime instantly feels guilty, but makoto quickly pats his cheeks and moves his attention elsewhere, overall, amazing! good food, christmas songs, cozy vibes, an amazing christmas.

so, next year they decide to spend it with the jabberwock kids, and makoto is super excited, he goes out with a big list of gifts to buy for every single one of them, and well.. hajime is also super excited! but at the same time, he wonders how it will go, dont get me wrong!! he loves all his friends with his entire heart, but they are a bit intense, so he will calmly tell everyone to act AS GOOD AS THEY CAN, and when the christmas party starts, everything seems to be going well, they are all at a table and stuff, until an hour passes and hajime CANNOT find makoto anymore, hes being passed back and forth to every single one of them, Hajime wants to spend some time with makoto only to find out Ibuki took him away and is trying to make him play the guitar, he grabs makoto and takes him away, only to look around the next second and find Hiyoko trying to paint his nails while she taunts him on how he would look much prettier if he cut that ahoge off, hajime tries again, but he gives up after a while of competing for his boyfriend with his friends, its hard, and with nagito tho.. he wouldnt leave makoto alone the WHOLE night, hajime is absolutely ehxausted the other day, while makoto loved it! well, they'll never have a boring christmas.

OH OH I LIKE THIS!!!! VERY MUCH!! I JUST WOKE UP AND THIS ALREADY MADE MY MORNING!!!

I want them to have a christmas together, just the two of them, after the second day. But sadly Makoto was still duty bound as the new headmaster and Hajime still needs to check on and handling his classmates and the island. So they just spend the 3rd night via video call, talking about their own days wether it be something mundane, embarrassing, or very privately embarrassing to the point one has to ask himself why did he even have to tell that one while the other just laugh on their seat.

Or just reminicing the days, doing some small vents and just be openly deep and vulnerable with one another knowing the other would never judge them for it, afterall, they're on the same boat in the burdens of the world and reliability.

[draygon-lord]

Vent post out of tags because I dont wanna mess with tags on this stream of consciousness

I have a lot of confusion and frustration about why tf did that group seemingly immediately assume me going dark on all social media was intentionally malicious towards them. Why tf did they show up to my house when I wasn't there and say AT THE TIME that it was just to deliver the first present they'd ever given me that they'd be too busy to during holiday season, only to TWO WEEKS LATER after I REACHED OUT FIRST when I felt marginally better blow up at me and say it was actually because they were worried and because "I worried them" they didn't want to make any effort to talk to me anymore but I still could make the effort to talk to them, when they've never made an effort to talk to me of their own volition in 5-6 years of friendship and I've been actively asking for years for that not to be the case. Why did they make no effort to contact me before showing up to my house aside from a tiktok for a show I've told her multiple times I've never watched, and in no way communicates worry or interest in how I'm doing. Why did their "worry" mean I am punished and actively ignored by them, and why tf did they assume it was intentionally malicious. Why did NONE of this group ever reach out at any point, and why were they all so ready to just drop me and never try to find out whats going on from me when they had my direct contact info and were just so ready to accept whatever bullshit the two that blew up at me told them?? Like how can you claim to be "good friends" and "found family" if the time i needed that support the most you decided it was intentionally malicious to hurt you. Why did only their feelings matter, and why even after I explained why I went dark did they still treat me like I was being intentionally malicious. Why were all of them just so ready to shit talk me and hate me, what did I do? Should I just have never said how I was feeling and what was hurting me and just quietly kmsed?? Just have been happy that I was allowed to exist nearby when no one ever talked to me of their own volition unless I was entertaining for them??? Should I have just been okay with one of the ones that blew up at me actively ignoring me in group situations and asking everyone else on a call by name how they were doing except me and then hanging up, or when she saw me at work and actively turned and walked away so she didn't have to talk to me??? Like how is any of that acceptable or okay??? What was i supposed to do??

Why did they immediately assume me leaving all their discords and kicking them from mine was to purposefully keep one of the ones who blew up at me from inviting the friends that were there for me to her super bowl party. Did they honestly not think their actions were out of line

Why did they feel so entitled to the friends who were there for me when they've never made an effort to talk to them and even when I was actively trying to get the two groups to connect they actively stonewalled them and only kept to themselves

Why was it that all of their immediate responses to me being extremely depressed "ignore it til it goes away" and what right do they have to be mad that that did nothing. That their "sending good vibes!!" Does fucking nothing.

[childhoodtv-kalimthefairy]

RidoAce week Day 1

Day 1: Childhood/Family

Yes I have a fic accompanying this drawing that took 3 hours and somehow ended up shitty. Also yes I’ll be doing both for each day, I am dedicated to this. I blame @writesology for getting me hooked on this ship. Anyways, Enjoy :)

When Riddle thinks about his childhood, he wouldn’t say it was a particularly exciting one. Really, it was more like a routine, he never had time to play with other kids because he was either studying or practicing magic. He remembered how he’d look outside his window, seeing kids playing and think to himself “Why would they waste there time? They don’t have a lot of time in life, why not dedicate it to preparing for a good future?”

Thinking back on it, he realized how idiotic it was. He didn’t know that though, at least until he met Trey and Chenya that fateful day. He remembered how they urged him to come outside to play with them, how that turned out to be one of the best decisions he has ever made. That day, for the first time, Riddle felt like a kid, a type of kid he read in his stories. Of course, everything must come to an end, that for Riddle was when his mother found out and banned him from independent studies. After that, for a few years, he forgot how it was like to be a kid. 

Then he went to Night Raven College, where he reached the rope really quickly. Still, he wasn’t well liked, his temper and stricklier for the rules wasn’t something people liked. And for a while, he was fine with that.

Until he Overbloted.

In hindsight, he should’ve seen it coming. How all the repressed emotions, over use of his magic, and his general unhappiness made him finally reach his breaking point. Funny enough, the way he broke wasn’t cause of pressure, it was cause a loud-mouth first year decided that he had enough.  

Ace Trappola. At first, he really did think Ace was attractive. Tall, beautiful eyes and seemed charming enough. Of course after eating his tart, Riddle decided he didn’t like him. He was a annoying, loud- mouth bother to him and he couldn’t see why he thought he was pretty.

But…After he overblotted, apologized to everyone and threw an unbirthday party, Ace seemed to warm up to him. Riddle, upon noticing this, found he didn’t mind.

As the months passed by, he found he really couldn’t shake the thought of the first-year out of his mind again. Everything Ace did, he noticed and it drives him crazy how he keeps finding them endearing. He wishes he could just squash those feelings down every time he talks to Ace, or sees him smile, or just being him just made his heart flutter.

He thought at the time that it would’ve been impossible for him to love him. They were so different, not just that but they had such a weird relationship, friends? Maybe? Something else. He wasnt sure at this point…

But then, much to his shock, Ace confessed. 

It was when they were doing homework, Riddle helping him with a particular math question, when Ace told him.

“Dormhead, I really cant keep it to myself anymore, but i like you.”

And after that, it was history. Genuinely, the last 2 years in NRC had been one of the best years of my life, i felt like a kid again. Ace even gave me a promise ring at when I was graduating…

And now, were living together, almost 5 years later with out-

“Dad!”

Riddle looked up from his writing, grinning at the child who stood infront of him. He had Ace’s hair and personality but Riddles eyes, piercing blue. 

“Daddd, come one papa made some pasta for dinner! He made it pink! Pretty pink!” The child whined, tugging on his fathers arm. Riddle grinned at him, “Now that sounds good right now. Will you take me to him, Orion?” Riddle asked, picking him up and kissing his cheeks. Just as he said that, Ace popped his head into the room, a grin on his own face. “Come on you two, dinner is gonna get cold if you dont get out here!”

Riddle and Orion nodded, the child kept chanting “pasta” as they went to dining room. As they sat down at the table, Riddle couldnt help but reminisc a bit. I mean, he was writing a book about his life since all his mothers…unsaviory, practicies came to light. Plus, he wanted to have something to look back on. But he couldnt help but think how ironic this was.

As a child he was told to look forward, follow the rules, marry a woman and to act maturely. But here he was, sitting with his husband and child, chatting happily, not caring for the rules currently.

If he thinks about it, alot of this is thanks to Ace, Trey and the others.

He has alot to be happy about.

If he could go back in time, hed tell his youngerself to love himself a little bit more. Take risks and to not listen to his mother.

But, if he did he would miss all of this, wouldnt he?

[laulo821]

to clarify my opinion on "proper" english, idfc how people write in their personal lives/to friends or family/etc, but in professional/published works- or anything that is meant to be understood by a wider audience i think the clarity provided by adhering to certain grammatical rules and structure is veeerrry important eheheh. for the sake of ease of communication!

i try to be pretty careful about my word choice and order allll the time for that reason, even if i drop a lot of proper spelling/capitalization/punctuation for casual dialogue.

nonetheless, i think when people act intentionally obtuse just to shame people for speaking casually/colloquially/with slang/whatever thats stupid and evil etc. hate when people do that. i might not understand a lot of it, but it has the right to exist yk! it is just as worthy of respect ^_^

anyways i think this topic is very interesting as well its something i enjoy talking about :33

once again i dare ask, where does the professional/private begins and stops? thats a big debate we had in termonology class (terminology , the science of terms aka specialised & professional words). some terminologists argue that terms are only employed in the field by top-notch experts to top-notch experts and nothing else qualifies as a term. other terminologists argue that funk that: "spoonful" is a term because it belongs to the professional sector of cooking, disregarding how common/unspecialised it may be (they dont actually disregard it but yknow). also some guy who goes fishing as a hobby every week and starts talking about the components of his rod to his friends: not an expert (meaning doesn't work as a fisherman)! but using specialised words! should they count as terms or common words? should that be considered professional discussion cuz the terms or private discussion cuz he's talking to a friend? anyways it's just to say that the gap between professional and private discussions may not be so clear

on a same note, what is a wider audience? we're on the internet literally everyone could read that post, making it, by its nature, designed for a wide audience. should every tumblr post thus should have proper english? likewise, works that were only notes and scribbles, like Les Pensées by Pascal that were published post-mortem... it was not meant for a wider audience in that state and is not always using proper French. due to this, are thus Les Pensées not a piece of literature anymore? (kinda teasing w this paragraph hehe but you see the issue i'm poking)

like you said the most important task of a language is not to be proper. it is to be spoken but also to be effective. to enable communication. we could also go all in and dare say, funk the rules as long as a message or piece or literature is understandable, it is proper english!! arguably, every broken rule of proper english creates a new variation of english that could be its own proper variation english (like UK english, US english, NZ english, etc, coexist together as proper englishes)

also youre soso true about the shaming stuff. dawg that pisses me OFF. that's why fuck the Académie Française i wish i could dismember that bullshit of an institution. they are the ones "making the rules" of French but NONE OF THOSE FUCKERS ARE LINGUISTS AND ALSO ARE ALL 109 YEARS OLD HOW CAN THEY im cool im cool [insert the hades calming down gif]. anyways. language belongs to the people so whatever they do with it it's fine as long as they have fun and are themselves <3

on a final note i'm heavily arguing against you here but i think you're overall right nonetheless :p rigor may not always be needed in a language but languages need a strong basis and grammatical rules to exist and actually make the communication efficient!! i perfectly see your points and they are very legit

[aita-blorbos]

wibta for continuing to refuse to tell my dad about my existence for over a year?

so i (24nb) was raised in new york by my mom with my 3 half-siblings, and spent a lot of my early life wondering about my dad (who i’d never met, and my mom didn’t know much about, lol) long story short some shit happened, i got disowned by my mom and still have a relationship with my older half-brother (jury’s still out on my younger half-siblings but i dont expect them to talk to me anytime soon lol) and so i was basically… drifting for several years until i found myself in california and settled down, went to college, and then for… complicated reasons the city i was in basically became an active warzone. my (now) fiancee (27f) saved me and i finished college and started a business as a pi. funnily enough, even though i wasn’t still actively looking for info anymore, i have a pretty distinctive appearance, and based on that and some timeline clues i was able to figure out who my dad is. i was unsure whether to pursue a relationship with that side of my family or whatever bc i already had a pretty established life outside of my family and being on my own has been kinda. a staple of my life since i was 15, but it didn’t matter as much bc he and his sibling were missing, so the only member of that family i had access to was my cousin.

which is where we get to him

so my cousin (27m) grew up thinking he was an orphan in some cult, i think he thought his parents were dead or didnt want him or something? anyways, when he was about 19 he met my dad (now 46m, at the time 38). he didn’t know my dad was his uncle at the time, but evidently my dad figured out who my cousin was pretty quick. my dad then made the decision to continue working with my cousin to fight, uh, some bad people, but did not tell the cousin about them being related. for about 6 years.

eventually my cousin’s parent (46???) resurfaces (they all thought he was dead lol) and a lot of shit happened (including that uh… whole city-being-a-warzone thing i mentioned) and it basically came out that my cousin’s parent was, well, my cousin’s parent. and then immediately after both his parent and my dad disappeared on an… extended business trip and went missing. three years later, my fiancee is dying of cancer, and decides to go on a trip to look for some experimental treatments to get rid of the cancer. after a few months of her gone, my dad and his sibling return, and two months after that, my fiancee returns (apparently she found them and got them brought back?)

a week before this, a friend of my fiancee’s (23f) went missing, and i started a search for her, but i realized there was a lot more going on than i bargained for, so after my fiancee went back, we made the decision to seek outside help. this help happened to come in the form of my dad, and his company. so basically i had to talk to my dad whether i was ready to or not, and since i definitely wasn’t, i made the decision to keep certain things from him. like the fact that he’s my dad.

so we’ve been working together for a while (we found the friend, he just also enlists my help as a pi for other cases sometimes) and i just… haven’t told him yet. here’s the fun part.

so my dad has a habit of picking on his twin for not knowing he had a kid for 25 years. my dad thinks this is hilarious, his twin and my cousin, less so. i happen to turn 25 in a few months, so i thought it’d be hilarious to wait until i��m at least 25 to drop this on him. my cousin doesn’t know, but he’d think it’s HILARIOUS, but my fiancee thinks i should tell him bc from what we’ve gathered it sounds like he’s had a good bit of tragedy surrounding his family, and my fiancee knows what thats like. one of my dads coworkers who pieced things together thinks its funny, but agrees that i should probably tell him sooner rather than later. wibta for waiting, if only for the sake of being able to turn his own joke on him and make fun of *him* for also not knowing he had a kid for 25 years, and definitely not because i’m irrationally mad at him for not knowing i exist for that long?

the reason he doesn’t know who i am already is because i make it a point to hide the distinctive features that are pretty inherent to his side of the family, not because i’m trying that hard to hide who i am from him, but because i have certain people who i don’t want to be able to identify me.

also, i realize i may have made it sound like my dad is a cop or a vigilante. he’s not a cop, i’d want nothing to do with him if he was, and vigilante isn’t exactly accurate either. mercenary might be a better term here.

[neuroticboyfriend]

the vivid emotional nightmares have begun

i can't remember it all this time but i had a dream i was back in the psych ward, and we were all fighting to idk... idk what we were fighting together to do, maybe just exist and have fun. but. then it came discharge time. i didnt want to stay locked up under the thumb of psychs. but i didnt want to leave the friends i made there. but i also didnt want to go home to my family.

and then one of the friends i made there got discharged before me (IRL i got discharged before him) and it also made me very depressed. i wasnt even considerably close with him but i looked up to him and.

maybe i'll call today. talk to him. bridge the gap between these realities that is tearing my brain apart. it cant accept im home, it understand ive been discharged, i barely feel human. i dont feel real, nothing feels real. it feels like im dead. like im in limbo. i belong no where, i have no agency, i am stuck, and i am in pain. and nothing will let me out. not even my own brain.

this is my most traumatizing hospitalization. and it only lasted 3 weeks. state lasted 5 months plus another month at their day program. that was very very traumatizing so this being worse tells you a lot.

im not a person anymore. im not anything. and neither is existence. it's all nothing.