#i dont know how to react to a lot of affection i receive

[valleyyofthemoonnn]

you ever love people and humanity and the inherent Good of it so much it aches and hurts your heart , because you never see it. its never really been there for you to see it. you’ve only ever experienced the bad of it, but you’re so in love with the idea, you want to breathe and be alive just for the chance to see it ? you ever just do that?

[lakesbian]

i have had like 10 friends rec worm to me but nobody’s given me a good like, gist of its vibe and what its abt because ‘its best blind’, could u please give a like brief summary and vibe check of it 😭 it’s so long i dont wanna try and invest that much time without knowing much abt it

so, worm is a 1.7 million word long webserial written in 2010. 1.7 million words seems like a lot, but it was also written over a relatively short period of time, which means the writing style is very easy to parse--the ideas aren't without complexity, but the language itself isn't intimidatingly dense. you can get through it at a very decent pace. i agree with your friends that there are vast portions of worm that hit best when you're unspoiled, but the thing is that worm is long enough that giving you the basic plot pitch is in no way spoilers for any of the things that i wouldn't want to see spoiled for someone. i'm actually kind of baffled they're not telling you Any Thing, because it is in my estimation one of the best books i've ever read, but it also Needs a briefing before you get into it for like five different reasons. which i will now provide. i swear to god this is brief by my standards it's just that i am very thorough

worm is a story about superheroes and supervillains, set in a world where superpowers are traumagenic--rather than appearing randomly or innately, some people gain powers after a traumatizing event happens to them. the protagonist is taylor hebert, a 15yo girl who has the power to control insects and desperately wants to be a superhero. and then accidentally finds herself scouted by a team of teenage villains instead. who's to say how she's going to react to all that!

one of the most compelling things about worm is that the superpowers in it serve as visceral, hyper-literal metaphors for the trauma and traumatized coping mechanisms of the characters with those powers. each power is incredibly specific and thematically relevant to the person who has it, and it's incredibly interesting and evocative. it feels so natural and well-done that it comes off like how superpowers are just meant to be written.

the fact that superpowers stem from trauma also means that worm is fundamentally a narrative about trauma. specifically, about traumatized teenagers and the relationships they form as they cling together while struggling through growing up traumatized & mutually coping with an increasingly intriguing, intense, and far-reaching escalating plot. worm's depictions of trauma + mental illness--including unpalatable trauma responses, including traumatized characters who are allowed to be complicated and nuanced and messy while still receiving narrative respect--are deeply real-feeling and impactful, and they're placed in the context of a well-spun + engaging story.

i really do have to stress how excellent the character writing is. worm is fully deserving of being as long as it is. over the course of 1.7 million words of character development, the average reader's reaction to the main characters goes from "sorta interesting" to "okay, i want to see where this goes" to "augh...really likable" to "i am now on hands and knees crying and these characters are going to stick around in my brain forever." wildbow has incredible talent for efficiently conveying complicated, real-feeling, and viscerally evocative characterization. many of the interlude chapters (chapters written from the perspective of different characters other than taylor) are so interesting, fleshed-out, and emotionally affecting that they make you wish you could read an entire novel about just the side character being featured. with that level of characterization for just the side cast, it's not surprising that taylor (& co) are genuinely just downright iconic. and i do not say that lightly--taylor is truly one of the best-written protagonists i've seen in anything. ever.

the other main pitch-point for worm is that it's a fascinating deconstruction/reconstruction/examination of the conceits of the superhero genre. it answers the question of--what would the world have to be like, for people with superpowers to act the way they do in classic cape media? and it does this well enough that it's interesting even if you have only a passing familiarity with cape media. i am not a big superhero media fan, but worm addresses virtually every aspect of cape media that was under the sun around 2010 in a way that's so interesting i still find it incredibly engaging. the approach it takes makes the narrative very accessible even to people who aren't usually cape media fans.

and speaking of the narrative: the end of the story is coherent and satisfying and deeply thematically resonant*. the way worm follows through on all of its main mysteries & plot threads is excellent. you don't have to worry about getting thru 1.7 million words and being dissatisfied by the author shitting the bed at the end, or anything like that. he does an amazing job of weaving together plot events in a way that makes each successive one feel rationally, thematically, and emotionally connected to what came before. there's really only one part where i feel the story stumbles a bit, but i think it was the best option he had for the narrative, and it's by no means a dealbreaker. it's in fact really impressive how cohesive and satisfying worm is for such a long webserial released over such a brief period of time.

*this is subjective ive seen some people who didnt love it but ive never seen anyone who downright Hated it who didnt also demonstrate egregious misunderstanding of literally everything worm is about. so thats a good sign

as for the downsides of worm/things that might put you off:

there is a very long list of trigger warnings for it. if you have any trigger warnings you want you should ask your friends to let you know about the relevant parts, because the fact that it's About Trauma (& about typical cape media circumstances presented very seriously) means that traumatic and violent things & their realistic aftermath are constantly happening and/or being discussed. i would not classify worm as needlessly dark or spiteful to the audience by any means, but it is intense and covers a lot of heavy topics. i do assume if your friends are all recommending it to you, they think none of the material would be too much for you, though!

worm was written in 2010 by a white cishet guy from canada. it's typical levels of 2010-era bigoted, it has a deeply lesbophobic stereotype character, it has some atrociously racist stereotype characters, the author really hates addicts, It's Got Blind Spots. i think worm is generally fully worth reading despite these, but very fair warning that it can get bad. i think what exacerbates this is that worm is generally extremely nuanced & sympathetic regarding ideas such as "crime is a result of systematic circumstance vs people just being inherently evil" and "mentally ill people who are traumatized in unpalatable ways are still deserving of fundamental respect as human beings" and so on and so forth, so it's extra noticeable and insufferable when you get to a topic the author has unexamined biases on and all that nuance drops out. the worst part is that a lot of this is most concentrated in the early arcs, so you have to get through them without being super attached to any of the characters yet. it is worth it though.

worm like. Does have a central straight relationship in it. and it's a very well written straight relationship for the most part and i like it quite a lot. but worm also passes the bechdel test with such flying colors that it enters 'unintentionally homoerotic' territory. which means a lot of people were shipping the main character ms taylor hebert with her female friends while the story was being released. which caused the author to get so mad he 1. posted a word of god to a forum loudly insisting that all of the girls are straight and 2. inserted a few deeply awkward and obvious and out of character scenes where he finds an excuse for the girls to more or less turn to the camera and go "i'm not gay, btw. this is platonic." This is fucking insufferable, and will piss you off immensely, but then you will get to any of the number of deeply emotionally affecting scenes between them, and at that point you will be too busy sniffling piteously and perhaps crytyping an analysis post on tumblr to be mad about all that other shit. also they're only a couple tiny portions out of an entire overall fantastic novel

overall: if those points don't sound like dealbreakers (i hope they aren't they're really massively outstripped by the amount of devastatingly good moments in worm, worm still has a thriving fandom over a decade later for a reason), you should absolutely give it a shot and see what you think. my final note is that you have to read up until the end of arc 8 to really see where what makes worm Worm kicks in, so aim for at least there to see how you feel about it if you're just thinking about dipping your toes in vs fully committing. i hope that was helpful and not too long :)

oh and don't go in the comments section on wordpress if you don't want spoilers. or anywhere else in the fandom at all. you will be spoiled. quite possibly for things you could not even have imagined were topics to be spoiled on.

[yoursweetwife]

hii haha i dont see a lot of topaz x reader so im gona req one hehe so you know the trope where like (character) introduces their pet to their s/o and the pet likes the s/o more than (character)? i wanna see how topaz would react if numby would rather chill with reader more than topaz, if u dont wanna write this then its okay have a nice rest of your day! :D

warnings: female reader (but no pronouns are used), jealous Topaz, Topaz needs a hug

p.s sorry if this is not what you wanted, but as soon as I saw your request, I immediately thought of jealous Topaz

Right now, Topaz was dismayed by the sight in front of her.

She witnessed how Numby lay on your thighs and rubbed against them as if it was the best pillow of his life (in fact, it was true).

Your fingers ran over the piggy's smooth skin, stroking him in every accessible place and cooing sweetly at his every joyful squeal. But once upon a time it was Topaz herself.

She's actually very happy that you two have become friends. Even at the first meeting, Numby began to feel a strange attachment to you. He tried to climb into your arms when they met him, squeaked happily and jumped, which was quite surprising, because it took him time even to let himself be petted. And you never missed a chance to play with Numby.

Despite your work, you remained a good person, and that's what attracted Topaz to you.

And she is glad to have such a wonderful lover, but now she constantly has the feeling that she no longer lives in this house.

But Topaz is partly to blame for not intervening. And she can’t even figure out who she envies more.

"Who's the good piggy here? It's Numby!"

You laughed quietly at the excited sounds Numby was making. It was very difficult to resist his charms.

"Agree Topaz. Topaz?"

She continued to look at you through her eyelashes, resting his cheek with one hand and frowning slightly. You looked at woman worriedly and called her name again.

Your voice seemed to bring her out of some kind of trance.

Topaz shook her head and gasped at the realization that you were calling her.

“Haha, sorry, I was lost in thought. Did you want something?”

She rubbed the back of her head and focused all her attention on you. You couldn’t help but notice the slight sadness in her voice, and even Numby stopped playing and began to pay attention to the conversation.

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yes, eh...I"

Topaz couldn't find the words? If anyone had told her that, you and she would have laughed about it. You noticed how her gaze ran over Nambi lying on your lap, and without thinking twice you put two and two together. Oh, who would have thought...

"Topaz, are you...jealous?"

After your words, an expression of shock appeared on the girl’s face. white-haired woman began to actively shake her head, fervently denying your words.

"No no! Well maybe a little... But I like watching you and Nambi have fun, I really do."

You immediately realized that Topaz had received almost no affection lately. A guilty expression appeared on your face.

Numby looked at you and seemed to understand what you were thinking.

You and Nambi “looked at each other” and a smile immediately appeared on your face, while the piglet stomped around impatiently. Topaz did not have time to react when at the one moment two bodies knocked her down, pinning her to the sofa.

She felt your warm breath on her neck, tickling her skin, one of her hands held your waist while the other stroked Numby, who settled comfortably on her stomach.

A heartfelt, loud laugh burst from her chest, making you laugh along with her.

"What is this for?"

Topaz asked, stopping laughing. You moved closer to her face and quickly kissed her lips, a light blush appearing on her pale cheeks.

"doesn't matter."

[the-s1lly-corner]

not sure if you have done something like this before but can you do one where the reader is the type to call everyone pet names? Kind of like Caine does, like "my dear", "darling", stuff like that

TADC cast x reader who calls them pet names!

ooouuugh characters who call people names of endearment habitually my beloved <33 gotta be one of my favorite genres of character; side eyes itward and dick knubbler and caine unrelated to everything im so mad it took me so long to listen to psycho teddy ive literally had it on loop all day and yesterday while i write RAAAAAAAH romantic leaning by the way! though some can be platonic if you squint, i think!!

CAINE:

honestly i think caine only calls people endearing names platonically and on occasion, but i think you calling him the same style of names it makes his habit more prevalent. i think the first time you call him something like dear, hon, or darling, he kind of does a double take. i mean, hes always the one saying names, but hes never really... been the one on the receiving end... now im not sure if you wanted this to be platonic or romantic, but i think regardless of which this one is; caine loves it and makes it known. you guys experiment to see which names are his favorite eheeh

POMNI:

i think it would take her some time to get used. i think the main reason she didnt really react to caine calling her those names was due to the shock, just to add some explanation for this post in particular on why she didnt seem to mind... i think if there were any names that made her uncomfortable, she would let you know! does eventually embrace it and probably asks if somethings wrong if you call her by her actual name

RAGATHA:

honestly i can easily see ragatha using terms of endearment for those shes close to (like in a general sense, not just familial or romantically) and i can also see her being a huge fan of being called them! i dont think shes been bold enough to ask to be called them, though, so when you just call her dear and love shes over the moon! probably makes a matching name for you! you become to darling to her dear, the bear to her honey, the sweetheart to her sweetpea, and so on and so forth. i just think... that would be really sweet... you know?

JAX:

calls you a really dumb name in response; like shnookums or something within that ballpark. honestly i think it depends on how you say it, when you say it, and how close you guys are when you call him any endearing name. personally i dont think jax likes public affections, since he kind of views it as vulnerability.... at least when hes on the receiving end. bro is weird like that, you know? only lets you call them any of those names behind closed doors.... thinks... surprises you one day by calling you a normal nickname... since usually its the above example or something completely out of no where like. "Mesopotamia" or "20 ton semi truck carrying 720 thunder fucking pounds of freight" or something just as hyper specific

KINGER:

oh i think he would love it a lot! probably calls you a name back in response, perhaps even one that matches; similar to what ragatha does! maybe its because hes old and he gives off nice dad/grandpa vibes, i can see him calling people that he cares about names of endearment (hes only 48)

thinks... though i do think he pauses the first time trying to process what you just called him.. takes him a few seconds before realizing. kind of like the "oh IM pretty boy!" audio but replace pretty boy with any name

ZOOBLE:

i think zooble is the only one who doesnt like endearing names; like i think in a romantic sense they would like it but only really like babe/baby, and not much else... very picky with what they do like, at least for this instance. definitely going to take some experimenting to see what sticks and what doesnt. funny little scenario but imagine sitting with them trying to find something they like and you call them something absolutely abhorrent, perhaps something akin to the "pookie bear with whipped cream and sprinkles on top" meme but WAAAAAY over the top and zooble just. "absolutely not."

not too mean to harsh with rejecting any names, though. but they are blunt about what they do and dont like

GANGLE:

honestly if this isnt romantic and this is platonic, she sees it the same way as when an older lady calls you a sweet name,... you know? does the ^w^ she does in her character intro short thing, me thinks, whenever you call her any name. very shy and sheepish about calling you any names in return, give her some time shes trying to hype herself up so she can return the same energy! only really likes it when you call her those endearing names, i fear that SOMEONE is going to tease her for it... poor girl.... explodes jax with my neurodivergant brain

[tealcaste]

so new cookie run update is rlly cool.... i noticed the silly little heart thingies that the new update has and decided. to give lico onr of then and. man.

also he has. a diff quote in his aberrant conjurer costume

i kinda find it. interesting in his regular outfit he's way. more declining of the giftcompared to his aberrant conjurer one?? if that makes sense?? idk i just.

!

uhh cutoff is more rambling i think

(has not been proofeead so it may. just be a mess AUGH)

ok this is going to be my. view but feel free tobsyare ur view on this cuz. idk i like listening to other people's interperetation :3

personally him in the 1st image does. sort of make sense for him?? considering how when he was younger he didnt get a lot of recognition and stuff so he was so deprived of recognition to the point he just. startef to like decline any gifts given to him?? orlike he gives it to his licorice servants (UNLESS if its the gifts that he likes then hell accept it ofc dur to the diff dialouge but were going on for this general-gift wise)

so personally i think this also comes to affection as well. sort of. cuz if he never had any recognition then its logical that he never recieved any affection or care whilst groeing up too so. he declines it cuz hes. not used to it and also cuz i feel like. he doesn't want to recieve affection of any sorts?? if i recall correctly from what i remember abt his dialogue he tends to say how he can do everything by himself, and how "he doesn't need friends". and stuff like that. (the i dont need friends part was mentioned in the cookie debate event)

ANWYAYS before i lose focus on what i was going on abt originally due to his mindset usually making him believe he doesnt need anyone else heavilt affects his view of affection?? sort of?? i think he. tends to see it as a useless thing, and that he doesn't need it at all, considering how he practically grew up with.. ANY. so it makes sense for lico to push away any affection or like. gifts and stuff and aaaAAAAAA

i also believe that he also pushes it all away is cuz hes. not used to it?? like at all?? so he doesn't rlly know how to react to receiving it at alland his mindset of him needing no one just. plays a part possibly ok this probably doesnt make sense fUVK

if i repeated stuff like millions of tine we dont talk abt that im half alseep whilst weiting this ok broken heart emoji

i would write more abt this but my motivation has been down the drain for WEEKS so i apologize for not rlly having any lico rambling essays recently AUGH

[decadencediary]

How to really let GO:

To be honest, letting go is one of the human traits we have yet to receive proper instructions on. It’s one of the hardest things to do. There’s so much involved with channeling growth from a place of bitterness.

As I’ve come to understand it, the whole “moving on” concept, I believe that we get swept up in wanting things to go our way so bad, we stop paying attention to ourselves. We don’t see the way situations really destroy us from the inside out, how much time we allow to pass right before our eyes and in those moments, we don’t care about any of it.

Part of letting go is self awareness. How is the situation affecting your appearance? That’s a big thing to consider. Is it worth you walking out of the house looking like someone just ran you over? That’s not fair to yourself. Phase one of letting go and moving for real, is to care for yourself the way you’d want a best friend to.

When you focus on vengeance or “getting your lick back”, you lose track of time. You literally take it away from yourself. You end up in an endless time loop because your brain is still stuck in the very moment that caused you grief. Kind of like groundhogs day. There’s a reason why it’s 2 years post your breakup and you still feel like it happened yesterday. That’s because our brains don’t know the difference between the present and the past.

When you relive a moment over and over on a daily basis, your brain perceives it as you going through it at this very present moment and is reacting to it. That’s why you lost a lot of weight or you all of a sudden produce dark circles under your eyes, it’s because your body is reacting to the consistent stress you feel.

Here’s something maybe no one has told you yet: YOU DONT HAVE TO STAY THERE. You CAN allow that moment to simply pass.

It’s okay to acknowledge that something or someone has hurt you….but to stay in it is your fault. “Why do evil people always win?” “He broke my heart and now he gets to be happy that’s not fair”. One thing evil people and shitty ex boyfriends know best is this very concept. The concept of something simply just being a moment. This is a concept that you can also cultivate and benefit from. Your lick back is as simple as moving forward from that moment.

The next time someone has you fucked up, just think of it as one moment and moving on is the exact same thing as changing to the next song on your playlist. It will and does get easier.

[vanikolya]

Good morning, may i make a request?

Capt. Spaceboy x reader cuddling/affection headcannons.

If you're not too busy that is. Now have a great day!

cw: none

reader info: they/them, no gendered terms used

notes: ofc!! i really should get to my other requests soon tbf but i've adopted a new post theme and im way too lazy atm to make more banners like this space boyfriend one. and you have a good day too anon! (update bc i wrote this note like several months ago: not me writing halkenna all cute and wholesome all the time as if i dont (affectionately, i love him with my whole heart) headcanon him as not actually being a great partner long term help LMAO)

SPACE BOYFRIEND CUDDLING / AFFECTION HCS

this funny little space guy is really big on physical affection so woah ur really in for a lot here

he's pretty clingy, and likes to cuddle whenever possible and whenever you're comfortable

watching a film? cuddling. playing games? cuddling. reading? cuddling.

the type of guy to hug you from behind if you're stood up doing something (like cooking etc), and to be happy for you to do the same with him

his favourite like cuddling thing though is when you're both in bed or on a couch etc and you're cuddling and talking and, that's just it, you're not doing anything else, it's just the both of you laying in each others arms having a little chat and maybe ending up taking a little nap

he especially enjoys this if he knows you've had a stressful day; of course, he loves it when he's had a stressful day and later the two of you have a little cuddle/talk/nap, but there's just something about knowing that he's doing something to help you to relax after a bad day that he really loves

in terms of general affection- i mean he literally adores it. he'll be affectionate with you like it's nothing but the moment you return it he's reacting as if you've just got down on one knee and proposed

hand holding? absolutely. literally almost whenever it's practical; walking together, going somewhere out with friends, i had more examples but i forgot how to word any of them help

i also think he'd really like giving and receiving little kisses, like specifically kisses on the cheek, forehead, back of the hand, etc, usual kisses have their benefits but there's something so wholesome and lovely to him about those other types of kisses

halkenna is also affectionate in non-physical ways, such as loving words, usually portrayed through him writing songs for you, i feel like sometimes he's just so overwhelmed by how much he loves you and all the things he wants to tell you about how much he cares and how lovely he thinks you are, and all the things he loves about you (practically everyth-) so it's a lot easier for him to sort it out in song lyrics that take more time instead of just outright telling you. i think i might have already said that in my alphabet headcanons but oh well

though sometimes he can be a little too, perhaps concerningly affectionate, remind him you need personal space sometimes pls he's not doing it on purpose. probably

[redheadbigshoes]

my non-lesbian friend agrees w me about bi lesbians and i told them lesbians are the only ones actually reblogging informative posts and how it feels really isolating...they haven't reblogged any either despite this. i cant help but fear maybe they just dont want to lose followers (i myself lost over a dozen, possibly dozens, not sure what i started with), but i don't want to assume. i know i should just ask them but i feel like a demanding asshole. i just wish others publicly stood up for us sometimes

I think a lot of non-lesbians actually agree with us about our opinion on “bi lesbians”, but they still don’t publicly show their support, maybe because they’re afraid of how some of their friends might react or maybe because they’re afraid of receiving hate. Still not an excuse though.

Well if they care more about losing followers than actually expressing their opinion on things…

If they’re really your friend they’ll understand you questioning them about showing support about smg that affects your identity.

I think you should ask them. Like I said, if they are really against “bi lesbians” and if they’re really your friend then their reaction isn’t going to be negative.

[stfulia]

Hi chat

Hi, wtf tho?.

I met this friend (P) last year and i quickly started to trust him, which is weird cause of my trust issues. The reason i felt so confy was because he did NOT know the people i was talking about. (pd: i dont talk shit about them, just overthink about the way i feel about them). So basically the first thing i talked about when i started being friends with him was that friends becoming friends with my friends lowkey made me feel bad, cause many times before, had happened to me that they become BETTER friends between each other and i was left out. He said he agreed and that he feels the same. I dont really care about them just being friends, i just dont want them to "replace" me or make me feel left out by my OWN friends. (ig thats understandable)

So i have this other online friend (OF-online friend cause why not) who i know for like 4 years now. I appreciate a lot my online friends cause ive always trusted them in order to talk about feelings, i guess because i dont feel it THAT much real as it would feel if i vented irl. I like to gatekeep my onine friends because i have some bad trust issues thinking they could tell whatever im talking about to someone else. I know im a bit paranoid but i literally cant help it, i need that kind of TRUST in order to feel confortable around you.

Then, few months ago, i dont really know how, but OF sent a friend request on instagram AND bereal to P, cause when i really love my friends, i talk about them with others and they knew each other because of that. Firstly i asked P to not accept it, cause he KNEW that annoyed me a bit. Well, he did, and also said "yeah but i dont talk with her" and i was like "okay, youre right". Then they started to react to each others bereals and they NEVER react to mine, which made me feel a bit weird ngl. But then ONE DAY i just know they started talking by photos via instagram. And they talked about their personal stuff, THINGS THAT THEY DONT TALK WITH ME, LIKE???.

Okay, so when they started talking i acted like i didnt care, cause i decided to trust them and i liked them to get along very well. But one day, OF asked me if P was flirting with her, which was like 💀💀💀. Ofc i asked him (p) and he said he was just joking and that she wasnt even his type, which i actually do believe. But since OF saw that i was lowkey jealous of them being that """flirty""" she jokes about having a crush on him and dating him or sexual stuff that i dont even want to talk about. Ofc i took everything as a joke, cause it was JUST a joke, right?.

Time passed and when i met with P irl, cause we often do, he is constantly taking pictures about everything to reply to OF. And i admit that it makes me jealous, he is very friendly with me, he is VERY affectionate* and i lowkey just wanna fell special ig. I guess im just overreacting but i cant help but feeling this way. So, the thing is, lately, he has been acting distant with me. Yes ofc he has more things to do than me, but yk, i always start the conversation, and it feels like whenever i text him, he is just distracted, i doesnt feel like him anymore. YES, THERES THE CHANCE HES BEEN FEELING BAD FOR ANY REASON BUT IF HE DOESNT EVEN TELL ME, HOW CAN I KNOW???.

*P is just like a best friend to me. I am very very closed to people, i struggle receiving any type of affection, but with him, for some reason, i like to receive hugs, very long hugs. A long hug while watching a movie, if you get me.

So this afternoon, P texted me first (i was even excited) and asked me to play roblox this night. And i was genuinely HAPPY cause i just wanted to spend time with him. Then OF texts me saying that we were gonna play roblox but with her (OF) and another loved online friend of mine(OF2). So what i could only think about was that he has been dry to me while he was planning playing roblox with them💀. YES, I KNOW they ALL invited me, but the starting point was NOT TALKING TO MY ONLINE FRIENDS, and i have tolerated TOO MUCH with OF, i cant tolerate it nomore with OF2. SO, i told P that i dont really feel like it because i dont like them being friends with each other. AND THEN P TOLD OF THAT HE COULDNT PLAY CAUSE OF ME. AND THAT MADE ME SO MAD. CAUSE WHY WOULD YOU EVEN TELL HER THAT?? IT WASNT NECESSARY. I know its the truth, but sometimes, truth just needs to sit in silence between those who know it.

AND, what did you do? Call me inmature, call me jealous, call me toxic, call me avoidant, IDC. I just need to push away them, push away EVERYONE, so i lowkey ghosted them. I TOLD THEM THAT I NEEDED SPACE AND TIME TO PROCESS WHATEVER IM FEELING AND I MADE MYSELF CLEAR THAT THEY CAN BE FRIENDS WITH EACH OTHER IF THEY WANT TO, JUST KNOW I WONT LIKE IT. But i feel like they didnt get it cause their response is rude and mean. I mean, i dont expect them to talk to me like a princess, but who is annoyed here is I, me, myself, not you wtf?.

SO YEAH, THATS PRETTY MUCH WHAT HAPPENED AND WHAT I THINK OF. I just wanted to vent cause now i lowkey cant (my closest friends are them and now i cant tell anyone my feelings), and if you have something to say ill ofc be super happy to read it.

SORRY IF THERE WAS A MISTAKE OR SMTH, ENGLISH IS NOT MY FRIST LANGUAGE, and sorry for the HUGE text.

Thanks chat.

[beatbawksradio]

vent about being the bad guy

i dont ever really want to give anyone the impression that i think im perfect or that im beyond making mistakes or hurting others. having mirror touch synesthesia doesn't make me a saint or a mind reader. i cant predict how someone's going to react to something before they do, i can only understand their reaction after its happened. i think a lot of people get this impression that his hyperaggressive super empathy is supposed to also make me like. absolutely magically perfect when it comes to interacting with others, like bc im a pacfist who cares about how i hurt others, that means that i shouldnt be capable of interacting with people in any sort of hurtful way. and any time i do, then suddenly im not actually the person i say i am, or im just using MTS as a shield from criticism or faking it or whatever. "you shouldve known this would hurt," or "why didnt you think about that before you said/did it". but thats simply not true, and is a gross and ridiculous expectation to put on someone

bc the truth is im just another normal human being, just like everyone else. and i make mistakes just like everyone else. ive honestly said and done some really, really stupid shit in my past that i have no excuse for, but have at least grown from that behavior to know enough to not do it anymore. i havent always been the best at apologizing either, and im trying to do better with that as well. and there have been times when ive just been going through traumatic events that have affected my mood, causing me to be more unstable about my more negative emotions. and sometimes, im simply just callous and thoughtless and say something hurtful without really putting any thought behind how it could be received. it happens

i think its important for everyone to acknowledge that they can fuck up sometimes, no matter how nice of a person they try to be. we all have bad days, we all have bad circumstances that life hits us with, and we all cannot be expected to be perfect 100% of the time. literally everyone has engaged in toxic behavior at some point of their life, and sitting here pretending anyone is 'holier than thou' and has never done any wrong ever is also toxic. maybe the wrongdoing is of different degrees, but everyone has still made mistakes and hurt people in their past. anyone who tries to act like they havent is lying

and sometimes like. youre gonna end up being the bad guy in other people's eyes, too, not just the person you hurt. and thats okay, its good for them to have support when they feel hurt. its good for them to stand up and let you know what youve done. sometimes they might not forgive you, or you might end up being pushed out of friend circles. thats okay too. its important to respect peoples boundaries and their sense of space and safety. yeah its gonna suck ass if things are so bad that people cut you off over it, and yeah its gonna suck if the situation was more complicated than what was told to others

but at the end of the day, the people most important in your life are the ones who are gonna stick with you. theyre the ones who will not only support and forgive you for your shortcomings today, but also want to see you grow into an even better person tomorrow. after all, you can only grow into a better person if you still have people supporting you and helping you heal in the right direction; thats something i have never, ever wanted to take away from someone, no matter how angry ive been at them. i understand just how important it is to have people to talk to, even if i suspect that someone is manipulating their support. that doesnt matter, i cant save anyone from a toxic person's manipulation, and attempting to is a much more toxic move on my part. ive been at the receiving end of smear campaigns far too many times for me to ever want to inflict that kind of isolation and mistrust on another person. loneliness never helped anyone

sometimes, people might just be incompatible with one another. no matter how much we want everything to be a cute happy lil diverse funny group where everyone gets along and forgives one another, sometimes two people just really shouldnt ever be next to each other. you dont need to be friends with every human on the planet to be a good person, its okay to dislike people. sometimes thats bc of their personalities, and sometimes its because of their actions towards yourself or others. disliking or not trusting someone doesnt mean theyre going to be a "bad person" for the rest of their life, unfit for redemption and unfit to ever have any friends ever, it just means youre not compatible to be friends with them and thats okay. i, personally, want the people who have hurt me to find out how to do better on their own and grow as people, both for themself and for those around them, because ultimately i dont want other people to continue getting hurt by them. the only one who can stop that is the person themself; and i also cant be around for that redemption. they can get better, but they can do that away from me, bc im only going to continue hampering their progress and growth. i recognize that it would be the same for the people ive hurt, too. if someone's attitude or behavior just stresses you out, there is literally nothing wrong with simply avoiding that person. just like there would be nothing wrong if someone avoided you for things that are innate aspects of your personality; avoiding someone you dislike is a far, far better option than trying to force a friendship that ends up in a lot of stress or worse

wrapping back around, like... i dont want to ever give the impression that i believe ive never done anything wrong, ever, or that MTS makes me incapable of wrongdoing. i have, i absolutely have. ive been the bad guy to a lot of people in my past, whether justified or not. some of those people might not ever forgive me and thats okay; i dont want to be around someone who ive hurt and whos not able to get past it, bc i know that trying to be around them will only continue to hurt them more. its okay to let people go. and its okay to acknowledge that youve been a 'bad guy,' because it doesnt mean that youre an inherently bad person unworthy of any friendships whos going to keep hurting people forever and ever. acknowledging that youve fucked up is the first step in how you start doing better about it. and you can start doing better literally today, literally right now, you can decide that youre going to change a behavior and be a better person for yourself and those around you. theres nothing like... dishonest or deceptive about changing your attitude or changing your mind about things. its natural, and its what youre supposed to do. change is a good thing. what matters the most is not what youve done in the past, but what youre doing right now, and if youre not hurting anyone anymore in the right now, then thats the accurate reflection of your character, not your worst days. you are who you are today.

turn the page, and dont look back. be better today than you were yesterday

[lizandbo]

Snuggly s/o with bnha bois

as you see I’m trying to write and post a lot cuz I feel bad

prolly no one cares but yk

kirishima

- this man won’t care

- he would want all the snuggles in the world

- if your busy with almost anything he would get upset

- he’s just so used to the way you treat him

- just snuggles is all his mind would say

- would almost probably start losing his training time because of it

- maybe idk

- he’ll be wanting to be more cuddlier than you

- so y’all might be in some intense cuddles sessions

- so many fucking cuddles

- will kiss your knuckles and compliment you each kiss

- ya guys will prolly have a competitive competition about who can cuddle With the most best quality cuddles ever

- if you do do this he will eat and cuddle at the same time

- kiribby would feed you kinda forgetting he has his own

- just all the fluffiest fluff of the fluff kind

Tenya

- look hes a bit shy the first time or 5 but that that doesn’t mean he doesn’t love your cuddles

- he jus gotta get used to it

- like a month or two

- but when he gets into he gets into it

- very stiff the first couple times it jus not that great tbh

- he feels like everything is too good to be true

- omfg he blushes so much and gets so hard

- I feel like he twitches when he’s nervous

- your jus hugging iida and kissing like theres no tomorrow

- while he’s malfunctioning inside like there is also no tomorrow

- he’s kinda insecure bout everything when ya guys cuddle

- like the one movement and you could die kinda thang

- if you question him while you just tryna cuddle your boyfie like twitching much?

- he’ll get so confused like he doesn’t know that he makes it a living hell because of his mental rules

- like dont do this position cuz they might be uncomfortable like bitch you just want some snuggles but all you get is struggles

- but after the 20th time cuddling then he’s the master

- just take your time amf he’ll be the best cuddle to cuddle with

- jus make sure that your not sleeping with a wooden board

sato

- yeah you guess it but he def baking you shit and cuddling no matter what

- look your gonna gain at least a pound or two when your dating him kk? - he so big and broad and no matter what your size he’ll try to make you feel small if you want to feel that way

- he’s also very snuggly but give him a chance or two cuz he a lil shy too

- his face is priceless when you hug him first

- ok let’s be honest here he doesn’t have the balls to initiate the first physical action

- I’m sorry but he doesnt

- so when you do go first he’ll be all for it with a bit of shyness

- if ya wanna cuddle all day he will cuddle all day

- one day he will wanna test who cuddles better

- also he loves when y’all nuzzle into each other’s necks or any area

- he jus has these really fluttery butterflies in his tummy

- he jus wanna be lovedddd

Katsuki

- hella hesitant

- he doesnt wanna hurt you if you do cuddle togther

- blushes like a mf tomato

- he wants to face you but he doesn’t wsny you to see his face so he just nuzzle his face into something

- be stiff as a board the first few times

- over time he’ll come into an end of being overreacting each time you touch him out of affection

- he’s lovign this but he just doesn’t know how to react enough to your standards

- so awkward trying to receive your affectionate side

- just squeeze him and he’ll combust

- he’ll be angry at himself by acting childish and being so weak to the point of not knowing how to handle a simple situation so he jist goes all in for it

- you love all of it and just tell him yk bring it in

- thinks its cringy af sometimes

- hols your hands wihtout looking

- kiss his face and he’ll be so blushy it’s so fucking cuteee

- look everything bout him is cute but when you cuddle AHHH his cuddles are so good

[dailytatsu]

Hello! I saw request were open so i was wondering if i could request some headcanons of the Archons and/or the Adepti meeting a God reader who is the God of Chaos and destruction. The reader is not a Archon tho and travels all over Teyvat cuz small bits of destruction were ever they go. They're pretty mischievous and somewhat smug but despite how they act they're actually a good person. They dont mean to cause problems(most of the time anyways) chaos follows them were ever they go. Idk if you have a character limit but if you do please tell me so i wont make a mistake again. And if there is you can just do Zhongli and Xiao. Optionally could you make them a dendro user, there not a lot of dendro content and if not thats fine. I understand. Could you make the reader Gn or Non-binary they/them pronouns please? If not male reader is totally fine. Im so sorry for the long post and I hope you have a good day/night!

Ohmy, it’s my first time just writing headcanons! I’m use to write a lot, so let’s hope I did it right (^ ^' )7

Thanks for the request! ✨

➷➹➷➹➷➹➷➹➷➹➷➹ ➷➹➷➹ ➷➹➷➹ ➷➹ ➷

[HC] God of Chaos! Reader and the Archons + Xiao

Characters: Zhongli, Xiao, Venti, Shogun Raiden (Ei).

Gn! Reader

I tried doing it with everyone but I’m no still that confident to try writing with some characters ＿|￣|○

Sorry for any mistakes!

Request are open!

Genshin Masterlist

Second part ->

➷➹➷➹➷➹➷➹➷➹➷➹ ➷➹➷➹ ➷➹➷➹ ➷➹ ➷

VENTI

To be honest, he didn't notice your presence at first. He had other concerns on his mind that day to perceive the chaotic (and slightly threatening) aura that Mondstadt was infected with that day.

Barbatos is a person of habit, so he couldn't help but be curious when the crowd in front of him began to look a little agitated instead of seeming to enjoy his lyre and his songs.

But then a series of domino events appeared in front of his very eyes.

The purity of the chaos was such that he felt overwhelmed, even without the white-haired boy around, if it wasn’t Bennett fault, then how was it possible for everything to be ruined in such a short time?

His patience ended when, out of nowhere, the strings of his lyre jumped close to his face as they snapped. Making that awful noise that couldn’t mean nothing good.

Okay, enough, who is messing around in here? No more joking in his nation!

He concentrated a little, a faint but unique presence kept his nerves on edge, as if he was being watched from afar. He moved away from the busy areas and then chased that ephemeral energy to the highest point of the church, where the bells were ringing in an irregular and stressful way.

Then he found you. Snoozing against one of the columns, somewhat tired because the trip you made to reach Mondstadt.

Surprisingly, Barbatos understood you since the first exchange of words. A god of chaos who was also a free spirit, you followed no rules ever written in Teyvat, and you had no plans to apologize for the mess you made.

Both of you were Zhongli’s worst nightmare, but that’s another story.

He managed to through your arrogance and your teasing nature that you, in fact, were a lonely spirit that liked to witness the life from above of everyone.

The difference between teasing someone accidentally and committing a crime was really visible, but he still couldn't help but feel like he should scold you after your mere presence messed up with the guild's baskets full of fish.

But hey! He also enjoy the company! Venti tried to teach you how to enjoy the calm and the whisper of wind, music can also contain chaos, feelings, old stories waiting to be told again, expressions and desire united, in a wonderful piece of-

As you yawned his lyre broke up again. Making clear the message.

Okay, not even God of Freedom and Wind can control chaos. Anyways, what a tragedy, but there’s nothing a simple bard can do, smh.

“Do you like kids, don’t you?” He said once, after a nice day of hearing him sing before your chaos reached his little concert. Again watching everyone from above on the hands of the statue, with your attention caught by some kids playing tag.

“… I don’t know what do you mean.” Once discovered you had no choice but to remain defensive, pretending to be disinterested.

“Heh, you aren’t a good liar.” It may not be the wisest thing to make fun of someone who could destroy the place where you were resting, but Venti was confident that he knew you well enough to know that you were not so explosive. “You know!, I just have some pieces, but I think it’s because they are little walking concentrations of pure and innocent chaos, am I wrong?”

He wasn’t, no at all. But you would never confess something that embarrassing.

This guy wrote a ballad about the days when Mondstadt got immerse with that strike of bad luck. Kind of an apology of not being able to handle the situation.

Now there’s the rumor that says that, every time somebody sings that song, something unlucky will happen in front of you.

The song is cursed.

One night when the moon was shining on the Cider Lake his well tuned ears distinguished a melody that was broken from time to time by the accidents of his performer, distracting him of his way to look for you.

It could be painful to listen to, but Venti could certainly feel the dedication of the one who was playing the imperfect song.

The ballad of the god of chaos, hummed like a lullaby that instead of making you sleep makes you question the events of the day. Wishing for the slightest thing to be different after an exhaustive week of peace and tranquility.

A lonely spirits cursing their existence, sitting in the highest point of a stranger’s palace, where you can reach the sky by only rising your hand.

The next day, Barbatos invited you to drink some wine, this time near Windrise to avoid accidents in the city.

As he almost dropped the bottle when a lot of slimes were attracted by your presence, he confirmed the theory about that the way to spend time with you would not be his personal definition of hanging out.

➷➹➷➹➷➹➷➹➷➹➷➹ ➷➹➷➹ ➷➹➷➹ ➷➹ ➷

ZHONGLI

Okay, there’s only two scenarios that could happened when you set a foot in Liyue.

Old man has a soft spot for you for being a relative young deity.

Or he’s always lecturing you for not having control of your aura and powers.

How u dare bringing chaos to the nation of order? It’s that a death wish?

Jokes aside, you’re not really a threat. And he could sense that after he saw how you tried to avoid having direct contact with the city. Rex Lapis found your silhouette jumping and crossing through the mountains until reaching the fairest point that allowed you to enjoy the view of the streets that were filled with life and light as the sunsets.

He even noticed how you sighed in frustration when a storm started out of nowhere. A rain dedicated just for the arriving of the God of Chaos. Not even bothering of getting shield, you stayed in your place to look at all the people who were getting back to their places.

The rain seemed to stop over your head, for a second was enough to stop you from being cruelly swamped by the very weather you had created. An elegant umbrella covered you, the long awaited surprise you expected from someone as outdated as Morax.

You looked up, and found his expression calm and attentive, watching you. As if he had made a great discovery that he could not believe

“May I have a moment of your time to keep you company? Letting out your sorrows in the middle of a torrential storm is not what I would recommend as way to spend a good day.”

“… What are you talking about? Get in your own business, old man.”

“Well, you should know that a sorrow shared is a sorrow halved.”

Next time you knew was that he was helping you to dry your hair with a towel once you let him guide you to his place.

Zhongli picked you up like a abandoned cat that day. Even if having you near meant to deal with new the roof leaks.

Also kept you away from Hu Tao, if you two ever get along for being partners in crime he would seal himself underground-

For all the time you spend exploring Liyue, there he was. Like a little kid showing his treasures. But also like a worried father looking after his child for them not to stumble making their first steps.

Look at you! Almost crushing those Treasure Hoarders when a bunch of rocks fell down after you jumped at the edge of the cliff.

Wait, no- come back here! You should verify the surroundings and be aware of the weight of your power if you’re going to explore in that bold way. You, chaotic brat.

Another one who believed fervently that your mood was to blame for the constant chaos you caused. He also tried to show you the wonders of peace and calm, teaching you how to prepare tea while listening to the storyteller (also both being a little far away from the rest of them, just in case).

He couldn’t help but sigh when the teapot arm broke as soon as you tried to serve the tea. What a waste, he thought.

You apologized to him, kind of stressed with yourself after you took all the pieces with your bare hands to run away with them. Leaving a confused Zhongli behind.

Next day you were back, with the teapot repaired and just like new.

He let out a lot of thankful words, some flattering and a lot more cheesy things that you never had received before.

With that unexpected affection you couldn’t help but react flustered; then a cat that was chasing a bird jumped through a lot of decorations and merchandise, almost starting a fire as the chained events kept going.

Yeah,, uh, Zhongli got some useful mental notes about you and your chaos that day.

Hey, before you go, want to make a contract? You won’t regret it!

But as the wandering spirit you were you had no problems in reject his offer, but also promising that you would visit Liyue if he wanted you to.

Of course he wanted! But.. maybe next time you should stay in Huaguang Stone Forest instead of roaming near the city,,

➷➹➷➹➷➹➷➹➷➹➷➹ ➷➹➷➹ ➷➹➷➹ ➷➹ ➷

XIAO

Tried to kill you.

I mean, your aura is threatening and full of a destructive energy, how is possible that you weren’t a demon to eradicate??

Sorry, but he had a point.

Your first met was on your way to reach Huaguang Stone Forest along with Zhongli for introduce you with the Adeptus.

Xiao, in the other side, thought that you were about to attack Morax from behind, so he just struck against you. With his polearm near to go through your chest, just stopped because you felt him before.

Lifting your hand at his direction, summoning chaos, this time, on purpose. The wind gained a wrathful nature and the biggest roots that were hiding under his feet rose to caught him.

And when you were about to hit each other Zhongli’s shield appeared just in time to separate both of you. Preventing a real catastrophic event.

Now stop fighting and introduce to each other.

Nice(n’t) to meet u.

What if you tried to awake Azhdaha to bring chaos and destruction to Liyue? What if you wanted to summoned Osial? What if… ?

Zhongli had to confirm and promise to him that those cruel possibilities won’t be a near future for respecting the real reason of your travel.

No matter if he wasn’t comfortable with your presence, it wasn’t his decision to allow you to roam freely, so he had to get use to it.

He immediately knew after hearing about your nature that was your fault that lately there were a lot more demons and monsters. Even his karma was getting more painful than usual.

(If you ever meet Hu Tao, please think twice before doing Xiao a prank)

You both didn’t interact a lot, and being honest, it was better that way.

He hadn’t a single intention of talking with you again until the day you were practicing the song that your Anemo friend taught you. By the other hand, Xiao noticed that the melody had the same nature as the one he once heard before being consumed by the karma.

It wasn’t a flute, but a worn lyre that was still in one piece after weeks of being repaired again and again.

“That song… ”

“Do you know it?” Xiao just nodded, staying in silence, being your very first audience even if you still have a lot to learn about playing a lyre.

It wasn’t as effective as the original, but was still… nice, kind of nostalgic.

Next morning, the Yaksha called for you. Made you stay still in the middle of a plain and then he disappeared of your sight.

He abandoned y- wait, what’s that? Why those monsters has that weird dark aura?

You were about to defend yourself until Xiao appeared back just in time to defeat them.

That day you became his personal bait for demons and monsters. Naturally you attracted chaos, so anyway you were, there will be also something to fight.

I guess this is your way to pay for all the troubles you made for him and his duty, so no complaining about it.

If you ask for a unexpected experience to Ganyu she would said that once she found both of you fighting along against the catastrophe, looking after each other’s back and almost having a perfect synchrony.

➷➹➷➹➷➹➷➹➷➹➷➹ ➷➹➷➹ ➷➹➷➹ ➷➹ ➷

SHOGUN RAIDEN; EI

Also tried to kill you.

Well, the puppet tried to.

And then Ei tried when you had the opportunity of facing her.

But since killing a god just mean the releasing of a lot, pure, energy she couldn’t afford that risk, much less considering your “speciality”.

Who knows what would happen to Inazuma if your vital energy burst across the nation. Just like that old story about Sal Terrae and their goddess.

She just defeated you. Letting you rest and recovering in the midst of the plane of her reality within her mind. Your inert body in the middle of the battlefield as she kept meditating.

When you woke up she ignored your presence, but also denying your complaints about letting you go out back.

In her words, you were a burden, another enemy of eternity. Something as unpredictable as you and your “accidents” couldn’t get along with her utopia.

Ei could banish you from Inazuma, but she knows your type. Stubborn and not accepting the most simple orders to obey.

She knew that you would found a way to be back.

It’s better like this.

And in the hypothetical case of you being freed when she trapped the traveler (kicking you out) and then having a chance to see her again after the end of the war, then things would be somewhat different.

There’s not that much of civilization on some islands, so she allowed you to explore as much as your heart wanted. But if something serious happen, she promised that would end her work in the middle of the sea so your remains never be found.

Okay, message clear. Just do chaos near monsters and bandits, got it,,

Even if she wanted to spend some time with you and telling you some stories about Inazuma and other gods she couldn’t found the right time to call you at her presence.

As the current ruler of Inazuma she was busier than the rest of Archons you have meet. Maybe just some letters now and then like a way to keep a logbook, but not really a face to face talk.

Until she got the opportunity of a day off, just to found you messing around near some ruins. Trying to solve a puzzle before your speciality strikes in. The structure fell down after your fingertips reached the stone.

When the dust dissipated, you discovered her figure judging you from the other side of the remain ruins.

Give her a good reason for not errase you from the map, I dare u.

You felt the worst was about to come when Ei ordered you to follow her after a long sigh. Crossing her arms and starting to walk away from the bunch of old and worn rock.

Plot Twist, she actually invited you to rest under a tree, asking in her serene voice the reason for your journey and your origin. In such a direct way that it seemed more like a sentence than a talk to get to know each other better.

You answered what you could remember and then the silence stayed like the only way of interaction between you two.

Ohno, you know this pattern. Something’s about to happen-

“There is some strange beauty in the chaos, it may be the calm after the storm, but the catastrophe itself is seen as a necessary evil to appreciate the stillness. How much it would last until the lighting hit the valley?”

“So I arrived to keep order between the humans?”

Well yes, but actually no.

“… You see, if there is nothing but order and a lack of problems, mortals are likely to create them on their own. Their minds feels the need to be tested, to prove their worth, so I guess some of your chaos may be part of the history.”

“… then shall we take a walk in Inazuma?” You did not know if you were right, but you thought you saw a faint smile through his lips in the same way that lightning can be seen in the sky.

“I’ll allow it.” She said.

Her only condition was for you not to approach the huge boxes of fireworks down the street.

[kirozai]

Hello! May I ask for darling who gets migraines so bad they can't stand bright lights, loud noises, etc? How would the cult react to that? Have a great day/night! <3

OMGGG HII WELCOME TO MY BLOG :DD

ouch.

genshin cult au, yandere themes, self awareness, mostly fluff, sfw

-childe, zhongli, hu tao-

zhongli

protective dragon mode on. (not that it wasnt on in the first place.) zhongli would be much more diligent in, well, everything. the first time he finds out is when you start getting into the game. you were always affected by bright lights and noises to the point where you always had to lay your head down on him. so things in the teapot are to fit your needs of course! the lights in the teapot are changed from white lights to soft, yellowy lights. all thanks to the adeptal energy he has. hes a more relaxed fellow as well so he isnt as loud as childe. he brings medicine and your favorite foods for when you have a migraine and dont worry about the pest who decided to give you a headache. their gone now. overall he will take your sensitivity to basic things as you are more fragile and need more protection.

tartaglia

childe has an energetic personality, tartaglia has a bloodlust personality, and of course, your ajax has a kind soft personality. your ajax completely understands so he does his best to not be to loud! he doesnt want you getting your head hurt because he cares for you, a lot, maybe a little to much. instead of taking you out for adventuring he’d take you out on night, but only when he knows its completely, and i mean completely safe. he found out when you were having a migraine. head on the desk and complaints about how bad your head hurt. hug. somehow you two ended on your bed. now your stuck cuddling with him. his excuse is that cuddling would make you feel better but we both now thats just an excuse. although, is it really a bad thing though?

xiao

xiao’s cool, quiet personality probably best fits someone like you. he works at night and is quiet overall. hes kind and caring for you so anything you want you shall receive. he takes care of you when zhongli cant. and its nice to have him there, like a guardian protecting you from the shadows. wait that sounds weird. let me reword that. a caring acolyte friend protecting you. cuddle sessions are common for you head aces and he also makes teas to sooth your headache. youll always always see medicine whether on your window sill or on your desk, its almost always from zhongli or xiao. he doesnt take you out to liyue much because of how loud it is their. merchants are always talking about contracts and it would be very bad for your head.

______________________________________________

thank you @nicebonescomrade ! youve helped me a lot and thanks for your request!!

thank you everyone for 100+ followers and this is my second post today (yayyy!)

kirozai out!

edited: kinda not really

[cosmicjoke]

(insert Adele song) Hello, its me.

It wasn't actually an ask, it was more like I wanted to reply normally, but Im scared of that aggressive anon to get at me, so I am hiding as Anon.

I was basically trying to school that mofo. It was as if Anon wanted another mental breakdown from Yashiro, and till then it's obvious he regrets it all, and not with a smug smile? That Anon to me felt like they read the manga in one night, and focus only on what they want and not what they should.

They forget Yashiro IS a natural liar. Lies are his shield. Lies has been one of the things that made him survive. He lied for decades about his masochism, his love for pain. DECADES of lies. You cant expect him to suddenly tell truths to someone he meet again for days.

Your AA (aggressive anon) also seem to forget Yashiro is starve of love, to the point he doesn't know what that is. How that feels. Obviously he doesn't know how to react when he received that, or when finally he understands that, or when he is slowly accepting that. Yashiro right now is still in an accepting phase.

Remember he lived in a love-less environment and was only done violence since 8yo. Imagine living in that kind of life... cause I cant. Even Misumi treats him that way, I hope AA didnt ignore that. Least not forget he has lived under the care of Yakuzas since his teenage years? Living and breathing that kind of life is only natural to expect him to exhale violence as well, like shooting Doumeki or hitting that Hirata crew with a stick.

It was a shocker to him to realise that 'thing' that we normal people call love exists. In referencing the forbbiden fruit panel, which is Doumeki. He he has known it just cant admit. Not without self-loathing attached.

Yashiro is confusing? of course he is, thats the point! Doumeki confuses the hell outta him? Didn't you (AA) see how he acts differently towards Doumeki compare to everyone else? Doumeki scares him. And still is! I dont know if this is obvious, but to me Yashiro is flustered whenever Doumeki is around. He doesn't know what to do with himself, that he may seem cold or casual, but he's really terrified.

And yes, this is Yashiro's story of self-healing. It's slow but then when have you seen a BIG wound that healed over night?

The cage bird is Yashiro and he will always be cage and in the dark for as long as Misumi has him bound to this world and Doumeki is that shimmering light that attracted him...so yeah be kind to Yashiro and let him have that glimpses of light. ( Im referencing those glitters when he thought of Doumeki. It was kinda cute. ) Lets all wait and celebrate now he's slowly healing. So much of himself he has admitted.

AA should study and broaden their understanding of trauma. How that affects people. Watch documentaries of real people. Grow some human sympathy. Saezuru must be so overwhelming to them compare to other BLs that focuses on smut. It irk me when they pass the word "suicidal" so easily like a comedy skit. In case it's not obvious, AA, this is also tag as psychological.

Anyway... that's basically it. Saezuru is not for everyone. I never have thought I would see someone like AA strolling in here, thought they only crawl in twitter and mangasites. lol

I wish you a good day, Cos. (:

Hi anaon, and thank you so much for sending in your message again! I'm really sorry I deleted it the first time, as you obviously put a lot of thought and effort into it.

And everything you said, is 100% correct.

With Yashiro, it's imperative, in order to understand his character, to also have a grasp on his background, the way he grew up, the environment in which he was raised, the abuse he suffered, and continues to suffer. You can't ever understand his character, or why he is the way he is, or why he does the things he does, without first understanding those other things. And it seems painfully clear to me that that other anon doesn't understand any of it.

And yes, exactly, lying and deflecting are tools with which Yashiro has learned to defend himself. Truly, the ONLY way he's ever had of defending himself. It's HIMSELF he lies primarily to, in fact, as a means of coping with the horrific abuse he's suffered in his life. By convincing himself he's always wanted it, that he's always liked it. It isn't out of some malicious intent, it's out of self-preservation.

And yes, again, Yashiro was raised in an environment of violence, being sexually and physically assaulted by his step-father starting at eight years old, and lasting until he was, what, 16? That kind of horror isn't even conceivable to most of us. We can only look at it at a remove, and understand objectively that it's awful. But we can never know the true pain and terror and misery of that kind of abuse unless we ourselves have experienced it. So when I see these kinds of idiots like this anon going off about how unfair Yashiro is being to Doumeki, or how he's "using" Doumeki, or whatever other tripe they were spouting, I get seriously pissed. It's just a breathtaking lack of compassion on display. And indeed, the violence of Yashiro's world continued on into adulthood. He was taken in and entrapped in the world of the Yakuza, and it was either adapt or die at that point. His entire life has been filled with violence. The only example he's ever been set in terms of solving problems, or getting out of situations, is through violence. It's all he knows. It's one of Yashiro's great tragedies, that he's a genuinely kind and compassionate person who, through no fault of his own, was born into and then later further trapped in a world of cruelty and violence. And you make a great point, when you say that for someone who's grown up knowing only cruelty and violence, it's absurd to expect them to know how to react or deal with it when someone, for the first time in their life, shows them genuine love and affection. Yashiro has never know the like. He's never been treated as anything but a punching bag and a joke. Of course it would befuddle him, to be treated, for the first time in his 36 years of life, like an actual human being. And of course it scared him, because he was also being forced, through that love, to face the reality of how he'd been treated before. To face the truth, that what was done to him was wrong, and irrevocably damaged him.

Also, this anon acts like Doumeki is the gentlest soul to ever walk, and has never engaged in or displayed violent behavior in his life. lol, okay. Doumeki is way more violent than Yashiro. For one, Yashiro hasn't, that we've ever seen, killed anybody. But Doumeki sure as hell has. He killed an entire group of men, in fact. The one's who kidnapped Niki. He beat his father nearly to death (not that it wasn't deserved), he routinely attacks and assaults people with no hesitation. Doumeki is a pretty violent person. That's not to say he's a bad person, because he's not. He's a good person. But he isn't some wilting flower that Yashiro has been oh so mean to. They whine about Yashiro shooting Doumeki without taking into any consideration the mental state Yashiro was in when he did that. The fact Yashiro was suicidal, that he was going to try and make a serious attempt to end his own life. Like you said, they toss that word around like it's some kind of joke, like it's not a big deal. It exposes just how bereft of compassion for psychological suffering they are, that they couldn't see or just didn't care how much pain Yashiro was in at that point in his life. He wanted to DIE. He genuinely did. He shot Doumeki because he was desperate. He needed to keep him away, because he knew Doumeki would intervene and prevent him from being killed, and possibly get himself killed in the process. Doumeki wasn't listening, wasn't going away, words weren't working at that point, despite Yashiro's best efforts to drive him away with them, and so he fell to the last resort of violence. He was trying to protect Doumeki, and give himself the chance to end his own life. But, again, this anon clearly doesn't understand ANY of that. As you said, this manga isn't just BL, it's a psychological study of the affects of trauma and child abuse. It deals in a serious manner with very serious subjects. If they can't handle that, then they should stop reading, right now.

Anyway, thank you for resending your message! I really appreciate it!

[the-s1lly-corner]

I’m baaaaack!!

Oh I’ve missed your writing, I just got dragged off due to some stuff irl and having a mini hyper fixation on Eddie Munson-

How are you dear? 🥺 everything okay? Drinking water and eating food? I hope you are!

Would love to see if you could possibly do hcs of all the different ways LJ would comfort you and show you how much he loves you as well as how he’d react to his s/o having gift giving and physical touch be her main love languages!

- 🩶 Anon

Laughing Jack comforting a reader who has gift giving/touch as a love language!

i have one other request in the inbox asides this one but i think imma save it for later since im!! tired.. im doing okay-ish? ups and downs, i will admit the past few weeks i havent been feeling right/like myself but im sure its just a funk or something.. gotta drink more water, though </3 hope you enjoy this anon!

jack is very very clingy himself, like in an emotional sense but also a physical sense... if it were efficient he would wrap himself around you and not let go but unfortunately a lot of things in life would get inconvenienced

a majority of that clinginess comes from his abandonment issues, with only a portion just being a part of his personality

very verbal in wanting to keep you around, and while he may not out right say or ask it, i think sometimes he needs some reassurance from you that youre not going to be going anywhere

will take any chance he can to sling his arm around you, usually just draping it over your shoulders lazily while you guys hang around one another

i dont think hes opposed to hand holding, either.. he has very large hands and theyre warm... sharp claws, though

if anything you might have to ask him to give you space because he wants to spent a lot of his free time with you (and hes got a lot of free time if youre the one in possession of that little box of his); i think sometimes he can get a little overwhelming/overstimulating... i love him but personally i think he could be a little much every now and then

loves leaving you notes, usually leaves some candy with them. typically leaves them in places where he knows you'll find them, like by your keys or at the front door... likes leaving them when he knows youre about to leave for work or any other outing... will still leave them if hes the one leaving for something, although its rare that he needs to head out for something and admittedly i cant think of anything he would need to do/get done that would require him to leave briefly

looooooooooves showering you in affection, especially if you guys are in a romantic relationship; peppers you in kisses and snuggles into your cheek.. hugs, lots of hugs. will take any chance he can get to snake his arms around you. please cuddle him

so i think its safe to say that the physical touch bit is more than satisfied, on both ends

as for gift giving, i gotta say my brain is a little melted so i can tell whos giving and whos receiving, so lets do both!

if youre the one giving gifts to jack hes going to be totally over the moon...! a present? for HIM? is it christmas? is it his birthday? ...i dont.. think he has a birthday, actually... but that aside i think he would adore nearly anything you give him since hes totally obsessed with you. likely keeps it within close reach, be it in his own space, his box, or even in his hair since that functions as a means of storage in my silly hc!!

if hes the one giving gifts i think he would try to slink around to figure out what you like.. if its something more than candy then maybe... this would be one of those rare chances where he leaves the house for something, making sure not to be seen of course. which is easy when he can turn into a puff of smoke at will. honestly knowing him hes probably not going to be able to hold himself back from the gifts, so prepare to wake up to a whole pile of them in the morning... might try his hand at wrapping them but due to his claws theres some holes and slashes... but its the thought that counts..!

though if he needs to hide anything for occasions like birthdays hes not going to be able to keep it a secret... if he doesnt blurt it out hes going to be really antsy and keep checking where ever hes hiding the gifts to see if theyve been found or tampered yet

adding this in because i forgot comforting the reader!! right before i was about to hit post!!

if youre feeling anxious about him leaving or being upset with you i think he would reassure you to the best of his ability

tries to keep the mood light, likely cracks jokes while hes holding your hands... might be slightly rocking your hands back and forth or side to side

looks like the type to kiss tears away... though hes gonna have the be careful about it given that cone nose of his... though him attempting to be gentle while keeping his determination to pepper your face with pecks might be enough to crack a smile from you

literally will not leave you alone until youre smiling

[fairestwriting]

heartslabyul index

all

with s/o who's reckless with their own safety

riddle rosehearts

soulmate au

reaction to reader falling asleep under a tree

reaction to crush describing their type like in guy.exe

reaction to innocent crush singing touch you

vil's reaction to reader (his younger sister) dating him

setting reader up with his vice dorm leader but falling for them in the process*

with vampire s/o who's craving his blood

with s/o who plays a lot of otome games

with reader who's always surrounded by cats

having a crush on a hopeless romantic fem reader

reaction to malleus simping for someone

reaction to yuu sleeping with a body pillow of him

with cyber goth s/o

how he would be like as a brother

comforting tired s/o with cuddles

s/o gets amnesia and falls for someone else

catching his crush checking him out

reaction to yuu crying because he reminds them of their older sibling

with s/o who sings suddenly like a disney princess

with s/o who's taking care of a cat that oddly resembles him and rivals him getting all of s/o's affection

jade and floyd's reaction reader (their little sister) dating him

watching a disney classic with him

carnival date with his s/o

with s/o who's similar to morticia addams

poly relationship between trey, riddle, chenya and reader

receiving handmade gift from s/o

with s/o who despises tea and prefers coffee

with s/o who loves and makes good tea

playing the pocky game with his s/o

reacting to s/o wearing a maid outfit

crushing on vice dorm leader's sister

with tall and flirty fem s/o

wearing a maid dress

with himbo mc

finding out crush is related to the queen of hearts

makeout session with lipstick stains

with gentle giant boyfriend

visiting mc's world

reaction mc slapping his mother

fem s/o distracts him from studying with kisses

being tsundere for fem crush

getting a goodnight kiss from yuu

being hit by spell that makes him hold his crush's hand for hours

finding s/o's drawings of him

with s/o who doesn't put effort into celebrating their birthday

trey clover

riddle's reaction to reader (his younger sister) dating him*

lilia and silver's reaction to reader (also lilia's child) dating him

setting reader up with his dorm leader and falling for them in the process

kissing fem s/o who's too cute for her own good

with patient and affectionate s/o

getting back together with his ex

poly relationship between trey, riddle, chenya and reader

with cuddly fem s/o

with delinquent-looking s/o who somehow carries themselves elegantly

realizing he has a crush

ace trappola

older sibling-like reader

riddle's reaction to reader (his younger sister) dating him*

with a reader who's overprotective of grim

reaction to s/o ruffling his hair

getting caught checking out fem crush

reaction to fem reader cutting off most of her hair

"if we're single by 30, let's get married"*

with very photogenic/videogenic fem mc

jade and floyd's reaction to reader (their little sister) dating him

reaction to usually nonchalant s/o getting flustered

with tomboy fem s/o

with shy, socially awkward s/o

mc shows him popular music from their world

with parental figure mc who's tired of their antics

reaction to being drawn

reacting to seeing reader cry

deuce spade

older sibling-like reader

riddle's reaction to reader (his younger sister) dating him*

with a reader who's overprotective of grim

getting caught checking out fem crush

with physically affectionate s/o

reaction to fem reading cutting off most of her hair

with small but very strong s/o

getting a massage from his s/o

"if we're single by 30, let's get married"*

with very photogenic/videogenic mc

mc shows him popular music from their world

with parental figure mc who's tired of their antics

bridal carrying fem s/o who sprained her ankle

with motorcycle racer male s/o

reaction to being drawn

reacting to seeing reader cry

cater diamond

riddle's reaction to reader (his younger sister) dating him*

malleus' reaction to reader (his younger sister) dating him

getting caught checking out fem crush

with feline beastman s/o

with patient and affectionate s/o

yuu showing him music from their world

opening up to his s/o

reaction to usually nonchalant s/o getting flustered

with cuddly fem s/o

bridal carrying fem s/o who sprained her ankle

with fem s/o who can't handle cold

helping his friend get over a cheating ex