#i even survive hard times !!!! fuck !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Text
searching for a star that's still unknown to anyone!
#for finncakes.arts dtiys on instagram... i missed you wxs#project sekai#pjsk#prsk#proseka#emu otori#tsukasa tenma#nene kusanagi#rui kamishiro#wonderlands x showtime#wxs#polysho#my ipad did not survive this one its at 3% after like 5 procreate crashes#and sending me visions of it being put down like a dog. Not happening#kirapipi album release im FREE#wxs getting 1 another wanopo comm and 2 a traditional japanese style song. ive been saying they need it. emu deep voice can save the world#I drew emus recent card the untrained but i dont KNOW HOW TO RENDER SNYMORE IDK HOW TO DO IT. SO SHES TRAPPED#in my wip art timeloop for eternity.#tsukasa is pissing me off so bad in this no matter how many times i drew and redrew his head imhe just completely breaks the illusion of#depth i think i actually did alright on rui and emu. i love how theynlook. Went hard rendering tsukasas outfit i guess which.#pisses me off MORE. its NOT THE FOCAL POINT. TSUKASA INHOPE YOUR NEXT LIM HAIRCUT IS EVEN MORE STUPID. YOURE RUINING MY LIFE.#whats supposed to be his hand is so fucked up with the perspective too helppp me just pretend its nenes.#the tonal difference from my ladt post is so funny. fuck you siffrin you stupud cat
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
This is the core of Jason’s character.
Again they try to hammer in that Jason is brash, arrogant, and reckless; that he jumps before thinking. However you can’t really attribute reckless behavior to arrogance or carelessness when he only ever becomes instinctive during very specific instances. The few times he’s “stepped out of line” or just threw himself into an unknown/dangerous situation it was always to protect someone from predators and sickos. Otherwise, keep in mind the number of times he’s been praised for his intelligence and judgment; for being meticulous, calm, and cooperative.
Batman #424 (1988)
#besides. even when he ‘took things too far' it was never without thinking it through first and understanding why his actions were warranted#not to mention familiarity was a predominant theme in utrh#(aka how clever he was. his timing. improvisation skills.)#jason todd#robin jason#batman 424#dc#comic panels#‘people only say Jason cares about women and children because of lost days’ somebody didn’t read the robin run I see#also how the fuck is that bodyguard not dead#you see that window to the right of him? that’s a solid brick wall on the other side. not dry wall#if Batman threw him so hard he shot head-first through the building like a bullet there’s no way he could have survived that come on now#no amount of plot armor or the author said he didn't die can make it make sense lol#contrary to popular belief batfleck didn’t actually come out of left field
418 notes
·
View notes
Text
i dont get when ppl say "atsushi would be horrified" at something thats probably just another tuesday for him
#yall atsushi is sheltered as in he doesn't know the real world literally cuz he was locked up#not that he doesn't know how evil or awful ppl can be#sure maybe some things he'll be horrified - especially since he usually seems to sympathize and empathize but stop treating him like he's#only seen good things in his life and doesn't know how hard it gets#i think atsushi would really only react to the specifics of dazai's relationship with akutagawa in terms of akutagawas past but i dont thin#hed start being scared of dazai or anything#i think he might take some time to process it but atsushi is aware of the dazai that dazai has changed into too#also in terms of atsushi not wanting to kill#when he realized that he killed shibusawa he had a little break down and then he got the fuck over it lmao#so idk whats this stuff about atsushi not being able to handl ever killing anyone#like he doesn't like unnecessary killing and he doesn't like not valuing life but still guys come on#also when ppl talk about atsushi not understanding or getting the fact that dazai wants to kill himself#like okay yea atsushi isnt dazai he'll never understand but sometimes ppl act like atsushi doesn't know what suicide is#or that despite his strong want and thirst to survive he also doesnt also think itd be better if hed died in a ditch#what else#also i dont like when ppl say atsushi is weirdly mean to akutagawa becuz akutagawa showed up and in a way confirmed atsushis worst fears#bringing misfortune to those around him#and then tried to kill him#and then resented him for dazai liking him more even tho thats not atsushis fault at all#fuck id throw dazai's name back at akutagawas face too#and he did come to understand and care for him to some extent#atsushi cares about akutagawa i dont understand how ppl can think he doesnt#anyway#also atsushi canonically gives ppl who've hurt him second chances like look at lucy why would he turn his back on dazai ever
66 notes
·
View notes
Text
sometimes i wonder if i was being too harsh for hating on subz for being ableist/sanist considering every single one of the lsers are ableist/sanist to Some degree esp during s4 but watching his unboxing vod is like. no yeah i hated on him for good reason nvm
#vodwatching#not ls#vod: 9/10/23 ItzSubz Unboxing Your Weird Amazon Items#to be clear i dont think hes like. a Bad person#if anything i think hes much like the other lsers in that hes generally kind but deeply flawed and needs time to learn and grow#but goddamn i would nawt have survived being a live subz watcher#like hes a good streamer i'll give him that but i would have hated on him so fucking hard#like how i was for pb&j during the final 2 weeks of s5 but even worse cause he did it regularly#or maybe i would have simply not liveblogged about him idk
13 notes
·
View notes
Text
i like overthink everything now it makes me feel so dumb. i used 2 be able to just talk 2 ppl but nowadays every single thing im like Is that actually going to make them hate me. Yes probably. and then i just dont respond which makes ppl hate me. this is how it is
#ive been overthinking 1 light and casual mildly funny response to something but im worried itll come off as disrespectful and dismissive And#make me seem stupid and uncaring all at the same time. and also be seen as insulting. but like idt itd be insulting right like. im not#saying what it is so ig for all you guys know im like I mean if i say All your shit suck ball and i hateit kys. <- thats not the thing i was#going to say#like it doesnt matter now the window for response is closed now but i feel stupid bc i shouldve just said it it was light and casual. im so#bad at keeping convos gojng im convinced im not going to survive. In like a light and casual way like in a He will not make it through the#winter joke way. dw. im not going to do anything bc i had One failed interaction. if i was going to do anythjng itd be bc of the 8000000#other failed interactions. But im not. anyways. it just makes me feel so useless 😭 like i want to respond i want to talk to ppl so bad but#i feel like i mess things up Irreparably every time i speak OR i take too LONG overthinking my response and then i just cant respond bc its#been too long and then its been 3 years and the only messages ive ever sent r my intro message and 1 message 2 years ago that nobody#responded to at all. or the conversation stopped immediately after. and like i used to be better at this i was lkke. talkative in a couple#muts servers like. i talked 2 ppl daily in those servers and i had fun and like. I was an important part of the group and i felt like it#but i just feel like such an outsider for Everything and its literally my fault bc i cant just like. Talk. The explosion. bc im always like#im gonna try im gonna do it this time im gonna get it back im going to finally be Good connor and im going to fix it all and make a Good#solid friend group and ill find HEALTHY LOVE and i wont selfsabotage and ill move out and have a job and ill balance it well and ill start#all my hobbies and ill have a great routine and be so loveable and on top of it and not stressed and content and happy and roll with the#punches and then theres a single hiccup and im like Well fuckinf whatever im going to be an unemployed hermit forever and im going to die b4#im 25 anyways so Who cares and also im digging a little hole for myself. and its like. AUGHH ik i just have to persevere and overcome but#even saying that feels so stupid its not fucking hard its Talking to ppl. like. i literally if ive ever said a word to you i had to think#avt it and strategize how to respond right even for like. like. it makes it sound like its not genuine it is#like for example i want to say hey i love your art! but then i freak out and im like thats not normal thats like a rly generic comment they#hear that all the time theyll thjnk im being polite and my brains like hrmmm rewrite Your art changed my life. It shaped me. Ill never be#the same. Nad im like ok too far overcorrected go back and the sentence generator is like Your art has colors 💯 like. GOD. WHY IS IT SO#difficult. and then usually i either just dont say anythinf and feel awful abt it 4ever OR i send it on anon and then i spend like 15#minutes ibsessively slightly tweaking the apelling and capitalization and punctuation to make sure it doesnt seem like its me just in case#it Is the worst possible thing to say but then i see the response and itll be like AWWW TYSM :] THIS MEANS A LOT or whathaveyou and i feel#stupid bc i couldve just Told them this to their face and it wouldve been a good positive interaction we had. but instead i had 2 hide and#tyoe entirely differently so they couldnt sniff me from my typing style. and it soesnt even feel like the thanks is actually 4 me bc i#tweaked the message sm. and it still makes me happy that the oersons hapoy but its like. that couldve been a nice mutual interaction#like not that i need a personal ty i compliment ppl when i Want to compliment ppl and when its genuine yk. i dont do it so i get mutualpoint
7 notes
·
View notes
Note
OH MY GODS WHAT HAPPENS TO THEIR PIERCINGS WHEN THRY GO TO YHRIR HUMAN FORMS (TMWN)????? LIKE IF IT ACTS AS A MAKEUP REMIVER THENNN…
the answer is DONT THINK ABOUT IT TOO HARD!!!!!!!!!!!!
#lmao#i mean valid question#i think most likely? like? realistically? they would fall out?#because the only piercings any of the boys have are their ears#and uhhh their turtle forms dont have ears#which is like#mildly annoying with mikey#more annoying for donnie coz he has multiple ear piercings including cartilidge#even MORE annoying for leo coz he has gauges#but for the sake of like? ease and also like. idk. funsies#i think the cloaking crytals just. like. eat the piercings#same way that it allows sunita to retain her nose piercing even when she switches from form to form#also if we looked at it too hard it would 1000% fuck up thier hair every time they swapped#like#mikey would lose all his beads#donnie would have to retwist his hair#etc etc etc#which would be a PAIN#and to be fair it doesnt necessarily REMOVE the makeup but it does tend to kind of fuck it up a little#it may survive but like no way ur eyeliner is gonna be as sharp at the other end of it#but they can keep their earrings and hair (though it also gets a little fucked up) for the sake of#lets not make thier life TOO hard lmao#asks#sorrywhatnowau asks#anon
40 notes
·
View notes
Text
grief will have you saying shit like goddamn and fuck maybe the abuse was worth it
#ive made this post before i just cant find it and it’s all im feeling rn#god i miss my parents so fucking much even though they were the cause of SO MANY of my problems that idk if i’ll ever heal from#but navigating life w this grief and without their support- however little it was- feels like hell#but the abuse felt like hell too.#ive said it before but i was JUST getting to a place where i felt i could stand up for myself and knock down thwir shit a few pegs. or at#least become more resistant to it#i saw a future with them in it for the first time in my LIFE#and it was bc i’d done SO MUCH FUCKING WORK. and now i feel like it was all so fucking useless#it’d be easier if i was still in the phase of anger i was at like 19#but i’d processed that quite a bit and was trying to move on#FUCK. i had made SO much goddamn progress right before my mom got sick#then everything went down the toilet cus i cannot fucking have anything#it’s so unfair. i wish i could at least redo the last 3 years of my life#i would’ve done things so much different but i was so traumatized and still so angry and bitter and trying to preserve myself#ive come to the realization tjat the person i am today did not exist back then and therefore i shouldnt beat myself up bc it literally wasnt#available to me. i couldnt have done anythimg different bc i was in such a state of survival#and truthfully ive grown a lot since then even if im still in the trenches#the timeline of my entire life has been so fucking unfair#and i dont know how to reconcile any of it i dont know how to cope with my worst fears coming true#and i mean worst fears. even the way they passed. spot on to my worst fears#i despised what they did to me but i still didnt see life without them until i was at least 30#it was all so sudden and quick and shocking#yeah they were horrible parents but i was a horrible kid too. maybe i straight up just deserved that shit#and i’d go back to that and seeing a future with them in an instant#over this bullshit#it’s so hard. and then losing all my pets too at the SAME TIME. all my babies#everything that i loved ripped away from me in the span of MONTHS#it’s all too much. l oh fucking l. no wonder im 3 shots deep at fucking 3 pm#it just hurts so bad. so fucking bad.
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
sometimes i feel like a proud mother. and i dont even want children
#like wben my transfem freind over on [BIRD SITE] started E and i was like YESS Woo-hoo! YEAAHA YOU GO GIRRL YREESSSSS#and when one of her twins (theyre all triplet!!!s) got an awars some time ago for makin a film based off of trasfem friends past life#which also the film is a cinematic adaptation of the original more cartoony vwrsion#abd i was literally so fucking bappy for him i wo uldve hugged him if we knew each other irl#and my frend ans lesbian KING!!!!! chheeeegs wheen he bouy 🧀!!!!!!!!#i am so HAPPY FOR ALL OF YOU FOR MAKING IT SO FAR AND EARNING WHAT YOU WORKED SO HARD FOR#WHETHER IT BE SURVIVING A LONG DAY OR COMPLETING THAT THING YOU SAIS YOUD DO LIKE 50MILLION YEARS AGO OR EVENA SMALL CHORE OR EVEN#COOKING FOR YOURSELF EVEN THOUGHT YOU CANT REALLY COOK OR EVEN GOING ON T OR E#OR HELL EVEN BREATHING!!!!#GUESS WHAT!!! EVERY SECOND YOU SURVIVE!!! AND IM FUCKING PROUD OF YOU FOR THAT. RAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH#got emotional typig this 👍🏽Woo-hoo!#tommysillyrambles#peace and love on planet earth#heart emoji
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
Honestly though I think it’s really a bad sign when I look at Shin Tsukimi and literally feel like he’s a self insert 😩
#the klock keeps ticking#yttd#i wanna replay yttd so bad but i also like Gotta play other stuff with the time i have akskks#but yeah the brainrot this specific character has given me idk if I ever really talked about it but it was BAD#i like obsessively played the game in like 3 days and it was not a good idea lol but just like shin#i had to take like a week to recover from this guy cuz i couldnt stop thinking about him and how hes just like me fr#first off just the very inconsistent personality hes got going on that is very me he has these different personalities he wears to cope with#all the traumatic shit happening hes both so helpless its comical and so manipulative its terrifying#and idk its really interesting how like good and bad he is at being manipulative like hes very smart and can analyze weaknesses and lie so#good not even he knows the truth but hes also grasping at straws he doesnt think things through at all#like the second main game he just didnt prepare at all hes fumbling his way through everything its going so bad#he just wants to go home he wants to outdo the game makers but hes being used by them so bad he wants it to STOP#and its just the way that like. it hits so hard cuz you know hes really not a bad person not at all he doesnt want any of this hes just#being horribly manipulated and doing whatever he can to survive but its also really scary how#well hes able to lie and manipulate and claw his way through but hes also weaker than a grade schooler#and you never forget that either and as much as he cheated his way through he still failed it was all just a cheap trick in the end#and all of this hits very hard like his personality is eerily similar to mine and just the way he thinks and acts#cuz im the same like im weak and a dweeb who likes funny cats but im also emotionally detached and observant and selfish#but where it hits the hardest is his relationship with midori like oooof that one was too real just like#the first person who was ever his friend was horribly abusive and treated him like a child and didnt respect any boundaries#and he just got sick pleasure out of seeing shin be upset and he was like. a groomer#and shin was fucking relieved when he died but also kept his scarf and adopted his personality to survive#and still goes by sou after ch2 and the scene that gets me the most is when shin ai is asked about his relationship with midori#and you can just SEE how horrified shin is because his deepest shame his abuse is being shared to everyone without his consent#and hes reliving it all in that moment and literally seeing who he used to be experiencing the abuse#he just curls into himself and like covers his ears and pulls his hair thats literally what i do AAAAAA#im just so grateful for the direction they took this character kokichi ouma wishes he was shin tsukimi so bad#and yeah just like damn. its scary how similar i am to shin like damn i really am going through it huh oof#I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM I WILL DEFEND HIM WITH MY LIFE HE DID ALL OF THAT STUFF YOUR HONOR BUT LISTENNNN#have you considered that hes cute and smart and weird and maybe just needs friends who arent assholes
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
it’s about to be june everybody :)
#ladrien#ladrienjune#ladrien june#wip wednesday#well. here we are again. i think im going to let the plot of this one be a surprise simply because i have no idea how to describe it#and i haven’t even thought of a title yet. june is (technically - it’s one in the morning here) TOMORROW😭😭😭#ive only prewritten two chapters and i have a vague outline of an incredibly complex plot. a typical peachcitt ladrien june ig#anyway. get ready for the vibe of a lifetime#been really into the idea of just writing a fuck all whatever vibe for fun lately. just really being confusing with it#and i think this fic will be a hard launch into my new era of self indulgence#also so far both prewritten chapters are around 1000 words which.#maybe they partly needed to be because of how i need to do setting building as fuck while also sticking with the prompts#but i think a big thing is i cannot physically shut the fuck up and i am worried about how that bodes for the rest of the month#but it’s been a couple years of this. the only way to survive a ladrien june is c’est la vie it the whole time and then it’s fine#im gonna post a bigger sneak peek to my kofi tomorrow (may 31) so keep an eye out if interested!!#okay anyway that’s enough rambling. goodnight everybody happy ladrien june eve eve
42 notes
·
View notes
Text
Me: has a cancer scare and admits this to coworkers in case I need to leave the front desk (I'm a receptionist) to take or make phone calls.
A month later, during a meeting with my supervisor: So, this is coming from a place of concern... your coworkers are concerned how your personal life is impacting work.
Me: ???
My supervisor: Well, apparently you came into work and immediately made a phone call?
Me: There was absolutely no one in the lobby, no one in exam rooms. Nothing happening. I had to call to schedule two appointments after being in the HOSPITAL on black Friday because I potentially have cancer... I couldn't call after I got discharged from the hospital because it was after 5pm on a Friday and holiday???
My supervisor: You couldn't call from home?
Me: I sleep up until I come in for work and believe it or not, am not sleeping due to stress. I went into an exam room, told the coworker where I would be if she needed me. And this is the SISTER of the woman I had to come to you about harassment complaints. But it's "coming from a place of concern."
Ended up having to have a discussion with my supervisor AND practice manager about this incident and the individual who just blatantly wasn't doing her job. The supervisor likes to shit talk with her about other employees. :)
Months later, my supervisor during another meeting... After I told her that we're all burnt out and mentioned how burnt out I feel inside and outside of the practice.
"And do you think that's impacting your work?"
Me: No???
Recently, my supervisor when multiple people voice concerns that an employee hasn't finished training by the end of August when she was meant to be fully trained by the last week of May: "Well, you don't know about her life outside of work-"
😐
#She also fucked me over today leaving a two hour gap in the schedule after stacking too many day shift employees...#To the point that the one woman who always wants to leave early because she's “bored” left early and the other people left at 4pm and 6pm.#Like you HAD the extra body and still fucked up the schedule. and left an employee who just had to go home early a day before alone at one-#of the busiest times of the fucking day. I even told her I still wasnt feeling well and had a meeting with her. she didn’t even tell me-#about the gap so that I could plan out my day accordingly? like i need to know this shit.#Personal#Vent post#Intentionally making your employees suffer knowing they're having a hard time already is just so fucking garbage.#But we as employees need to be more understanding. :( Because she's lived a very sheltered life.#And has been rich because of her parents and her family could survive on just her husband's income. she doesn't even need to work actually.#- actual excuse from our practice manager.
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
this was meant to be a funny post, but then it got deep imao
not a relationship person, but i believe in their beliefs
#me when i lie#it always comes round to june and i’m always single and it’s quite honestly homophobic#imaooooo nah it’s not that deep i’m just coming on my period hehe x#literally keep saying the same thing about relationships#like i shouldn’t get into one just because i’m lonely#and rush things and completely blow up my life on impulse#but i don’t know any other way#need to learn to take it slow and *actually* take it slow#because the last time i “took it slow’’ it all went wrong#basically i want a relationship at some point but when all your relationships are the same#it really gets to you#and i keep thinking about (redacted) and how much i fucked it all up#but also like would we really have worked out?#if i’d actually believed everything she said would we be okay?#do i not have a life? or am i not allowing myself to have a life?#bc literally i think i’ve gotten so used to being on the floor that i’ve forgotten how to get up#and like if i really tried i could actually get what i want#and i know that sounds obvious but like bear with me#i’ve basically shoved myself into a deep dark hole and covered myself up with dirt and then forgotten i can dig myself out#i *can* be with someone seriously#like yeah it’s uncomfortable and scary and it means facing up to certain things that make my stomach hurt but i will never have a life if i#don’t do these things#i can’t allow myself to basically get pushed back into the closet#i can’t allow myself to be infantilised and treated like shit all the time#like even if i’m surviving purely via spite for a while it’s better than the alternative#instead of constantly talking about the same thing and how nothing ever changes i should actually change it#again obvious but i’m usually miles behind bc my brain… isn’t great is probably the kindest way i could put that#and that’s okay. like it’s hard but it’s okay#even if i’m living out my teenage years and doing the things i’d wished i’d done then at 25+ that’s fine#there’s a whole fucking world outside my bedroom door so maybe i should go actually see it?
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
okei, pausing the bylerween writing for the day because i'm absolutely exhausted. if it's done in time it'll be posted; if not, november will just have to be a perpetual extension of halloween until i post everything i'd planned for.
#⚰️#🧸#writing in 10 minute intervals (so you don't fuck up your blind eye further) is hard x.x#writing whilst in the middle of a moderately severe mental health crisis (complete with continuous anxiety) is even harder >.<#so yeah. i'm sorry if i don't get stuff done in time. but i'm trying to stay afloat and survive here ;-;
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
Welp I had max dragon flowers on Altina for two minutes.
#Dragon flower economy is so bad. Even worse when I decided to build Askr trio lmao#It’s tough to be free to play out here#I had Alfonse and Sharena maxed. I was halfway through Anna.#I have been slowly building it for… a very long time :)#I seriously can’t recall the last time I wasn’t dumping all of them into Askr trio + Brave Veronica#Fun facts; Altina is my favorite unit in the game. I adore how she plays. I love a unit with a gimmick#So much so that I slapped Alfonse with brazen Atk/Def for similar health gimmick and haven’t changed it since#God I miss when that was broken as shit. I genuinely used him in Aether raids for a while.#With summoner support he has a monster of a health bar that would help him to survive getting his ass beat. Then he would become A Menace.#Honestly building Askr trio is how I have fun with this game#Not because my builds are good. But because it makes clearing story mode a fucking NIGHTMARE#NO RESISTANCE ON THESE UNITS LETS GOOOOOO#Clearing boards in PVE with these guys is the real hard mode of this game and I live for it.#Wanna know true hell? All four units must survive.#Exaggerating but it is fun. Makes the fights against gods a bit more visceral. Hel’s final map was *rough* with these guys.#I should document some of my Askr trio runs. Maybe show off my silly builds too.
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
MAYBE I CAN FORGIVE MYSELF!!!! FUCK!!!!!!! (drops to my knees and lets the rain cover me)
#thoughts#MAYBE IM A STRONG GIRL WHOS ALREADY SURVIVED A LOT OF HARD TIMES IN MY LIFE#AND THOSE ARE PROOF ENOUGH THAT I DONT NEED TO BE PERFECT#FUCK!!! AGHHHHHH!!!!#ik traumadumping or wtv is bad but when i actually write out my troubles sometimes im like pause#why have i actually made great progress in my life and am doing well despite the bad things that have happened to me#i literally used to be afraid to go outside in high school!! like agoraphobic!! and even into college i would spend days inside#and now i go for daily nature walks and i relish in dressing up to go out#and i even go outside in clothes that aren’t pretty without makeup!!!!! i’m growing i’ve become stronger#so maybe it’s ok that i’m not driving rn. i’ve overcome a million more things even more intense#i can get there i will get there and it’s OKAY to be the myself i am right now
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
god help me i'm going insane about dickson xenoblade again
#this is what i get for thinking about lord of the rings too hard this week (specifically denethor / gríma / saruman and the like)#thinking about the way anthony may delivered “when will you learn you HAVE no future?”#he thinks shulk is fully DEAD at that point. he thinks HE killed him. which he very much meant to. but now that the kid is no longer there#now that the terrible future he's been preparing for and actively working to bring about has in fact come about#i don't know that dickson really cared anymore. he played his part he did the deed expected and he did it unquestioningly. So What Now?#well. now nothing. now the world that he spent so long biding his time in; so long getting enmeshed in (even for nefarious purposes)#is about to end; is about to be gone forever.#sure zanza will probably just create another world and maybe he (dickson) will have Even More Power in the new one#(though that's not a given! he doesn't know for SURE his lord and god will keep his promise!)#but like. what the hell does he care at this point#dickson SAYS he wants power but i suspect that long long ago what the giant dickson really wanted was SURVIVAL.#we never get to know just how he became a disciple or what the giant civilization looked like in its heyday or how it ended#but in MY headcanon dickson saw that some kind of destruction coming and he wanted Out#and maybe he hated his peers and figured any power and prestige that came from this bargain was just a bonus#i think he thought of himself as a saruman type: powerful; remote; far above the petty troubles of mortals (even the long-lived high entia)#but i have always headcanoned that by his later days (i.e. when he started engaging w/colony 9; machina village; etc. in earnest)#he committed too hard to the bit and started “going native” as it were; started to give a shit in ways that he would never dare admit#maybe not as much of a shit as; you know; a regular guy would. but more than an immortal disciple and horseman of the apocalypse should.#and all the time knowing that all the world he'd seen would soon be gone#maybe everyone else can get fucked. but shulk had to die too. and that's what their god MADE them to do.#he can't allow himself to care or to hope for another option bc in his mind it's already over; decided; that's it#what else can you do in the face of ultimate power but bow to it and take whatever scraps may fall to an obedient servant?#“you have no future” nor does he except that shulk came back. except that the peoples of bionis/mechonis just wouldn't accept Fate.#and in some final rebellious corner of his mind he starts putting eggs in shulk's basket. “if they can't even defeat telethia they won't#stand a chance against me (or zanza)” so let's see if they CAN. oh they did? how about a dragon? oh fuck they defeated the dragon too?#well fuck. maybe there WAS another option all along. but will/can they stand against me; the final disciple? oh they can??#guess i'll die then bc i'm not looking THAT in the face. i am NOT unpacking my cowardice/failure/lack of vision after all these years.#good luck with that tho <3 you're welcome for the training btw. where i'm going i don't have to see your trauma assuming you live that long.#dickson#xenoblade
8 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
classycosmoqueen
Dark Academia
skrilgujju
Untitled
bigbird-in-a-bluehat
Love has a Nasty Habit of Disappearing Overnight
bcacstuff
The Right to be Wrong