#i find it surprising im even still alive after almost 9 years of this. i was 10 when i lost all my friends and im about to turn 19

[i-love-hobbies]

Eda's reckless behaviour and overall mental health

Summary

Eda is a genius, but is very emotional when making decisions (not anger, but fear, stress ect.)

Her reckless behaviour and apple blood problem in my opinion are her ways of running from reality.

In season 1 she made a bit of progress on this issue. Then the finale happened. Then she made again progress and s2ep7 did a complete reset. And she is making progress now again.

Eda's intelligence

She's been a criminal for thirty years. She has been in the shady business for an extremely long time. Yes magic definitely helps but you also have to find a way to be on top of the game, so you can survive.

Remember Tibbles' shrinking potion. She can't really use a lot of magic if she is shrinked or poisoned and dead, can she? Not to talk about her enemies which you'd think would attack her now that she is magicless.

They haven't on screen, yet. The only ones that tried are Adegast and Tibbles and they both died without her using any magic (or close to nothing).

Now we know that she doesn't make plans a lot on screen. In s2ep3 especially she just let's Luz make the plan but that's because she is her mentor.

In s2ep6 Luz used sleeping needles which is wild magic so no, it's not knowledge coming from Hexside. Also the pickpocketing Luz mentioned.

Teachers don't do the tests instead of students.

She teaches her everything that isn't glyphs. I wouldn't be surprised if she has told stories to Luz about her best "outsmarting everyone in the room" moments.

Now we have seen some of her problem solving on screen. One of which was in ep.18 fight only using her channelled magic trough the staff (im not taking credit for noticing this, have no idea who did though) and used the bridge.

Also if she can telepathically talk to her staff. Owlbert saving Luz was probably her idea.

She had her impact on Raine's rebellion as well, without having magic or turning into a harpy.

"You are not our mom!"

"Wow, we actually helped people this time!"

"Bye, mommy Eda!"

In the back of her head she knows exactly what to do, everytime something happens.

Eda's mental health

Eda's curse and the nightmares it causes. The father incident. The fact that she probably thought Lilith was scared of her.

Lilith's hidden guilt and her taking her father's eye out don't mix well together. I wouldn't be surprised if they barely spoke even if they lived in a house together.

Her losing Raine.

Her faith in the emporer being broken.

She has seen a lot of death, that does impact people.

Season 1

At the beginning of the series she was making a lot of bad choices which don't aline with her experience.

The series starts with her getting caught by Warden Wrath. Instead of just sneaking, they were just walking comfortably in the corridors.

They are kids, one from another dimension, but her... She doesn't know better? And for a paper crown that she can replace by stealing from someone else.

Next episode we are introduced to her morning drink later on confirmed to be for adults only. And that drink didn't get a mention for the rest of the season. In that episode she is also not the most clear-headed. She didn't try to sneak, she didn't use potions. Didn't try to plan.

A list about her being impatient can go on and on.

So when does she think. When she realises it's dangerous (aka when it's right in her face). Literally in the first episode the moment she started doing stuff is when she got caught and spat on the warden's face.

In episode 2 she didn't do that because she didn't know if Luz was alive and had a hard time bottling her feelings. Like if Luz proved to him to be hard to keep tight up he could have killed her, the girl that came back for her and her son yesterday. And she proved to Eda that she is a little dangerous the previous episode with her fireworks.

Eda was rational again, after she was with both King and Luz.

As the series went on though she started to calm down a bit.

Firstly, the fact that she was so focused on fixing her card problem, after Tibbles scammed her, that she trew them away in another dimension.

I was wondering how she overcame it so quickly.

It also shows her knowledge of how to handle this type of problems which brings up a question. How did she learn it?

Secondly let's compare the first half of the season to the second.

1. Everything I already pointed out and was hiding the curse. The stuff that happened in ep.5. Her refusal to be parental in ep.7. Body swapped.

2. She gets scammed again (this time though, how do you expect that someone was digging their own grave). Didn't use a sleeping spell on the slitherbeast immediately instead was just standing there. Got caught by the fun police. Worsened King's stage fright.

In ep.15 because of her ignorance Luz and Amity almost die. Except that is not the full story. She had at this point a lot of faith in Luz and this was her friend's mind.

For Amity it's not that she hated her. Amity actually saved her in ep.12. It's because she wasn't that important for her to realise. "Omg Willow is at the very least extremely mad at her."

It's again a refusal to think, but for a stranger and not really on purpose. It was just a habit of hers.

Episode 18 and 19

At the beginning of the episode. Eda hid the curse, again.

When she learned that Lilith had kidnapped Luz. She didn't try to make a plan. She just revealed herself in all her glory while her magic was disappearing.

Shot the staff in a wall while she was having no idea, what that was supposed to accomplish.

Luz showed up and she finally started thinking.

Afterwards Lilith said we all know what and for the first time Eda's anger was the leader of her choices and Luz almost fell on to the spikes.

So then, for the very least a night, she was stuck in her mind with something, that was chasing her. She woke up to Emporer Baby the B*tch, who was telling her, he was about to go after Luz.

And no she didn't believe in Lilith, but was so overwhelmed. It was insane. So she begged. After some more running, she woke up to Luz in the Comformatoriam.

Next, she was about to get petrified and for awhile this was the calmest things have been since she got caught. Then Lilith shows up (ah yes she existed).

King jumped "She was trying to help!". Wait King was there.

Petrification beam go.

PURE PAIN!

Then she got the idea for all of them to fly away. Lilith shared the curse making the confusion even bigger. Then her magic is gone (that was a thing). She learned that the portal is destroyed. Now she was living with Lilith and might have starved to death with everyone else in the house.

After all of this she not only tried but HAD TO pretend that she was mentally stable, so they could survive this mess.

Season 2A

In episode 1 she told Luz not to go after big bounties and then tried to steal from a coven's ship.

At this point her emotions are the only thing that made decisions while they were also getting hidden. Don't get me wrong she did help and should, especially Luz but it's ALL feelings. She didn't think about consequences, which sometimes are good.

She didn't attack Lilith cause it's just not the time, she's scared from her own anger. Plus she can't really stand being with the roller coaster of emotions, that came with being in one room with her.

This didn't mean she didn't work with her and hadn't listened to the backstory, though.

The episode ends with her and everyone else not being close to dieing. Finally!

So now what? She tried to think about Lilith? Yeah, she probably preferred not to.

Then her glyph almost kills King, but Lilith showed up and helped. This is probably a familiarity she missed. So again she decided not to process it, but it definitely sticks.

She also didn't notice Luz being hurt.

Next episode, we saw Eda taking a shower which means she has healthy coping mechanisms, at least one, self-care and is not yet a workaholic.

Luz's apple blood joke is concerning.

After the events of episode 3. Luz probably told her that Lilith stayed with her and King, instead of just leaving them, get killed by Jean-Luc.

Then Eda still isn't certain where she stands about everything and Lilith just left, with her final act being, giving King mental issues.

Throughout this whole thing her mom was there with her cures/annual accidental attempt to kill her favourite daughter.

In this episode, Eda fell for apple blood signs. Rationality is out of the window.

In ep.6 she decided to help, with students getting palisman. Again not thinking about all the trauma, but finally doing something against her first instinct.

In ep.7 she heard King's "Le-" and refused to fully process, where the heck is he gonna go.

She also punched someone, cause this is gonna work?

Now she has reconnected with Raine having no idea should she even think of a romantic relationship again? And decided to be useful at least for something since she "can't raise kids".

She was helping and being very good at it, but it came from fear of loneliness.

Then she heard that Belos has a plan and just is overwhelmed. What if the kids get hurt, is she powerless?

Oh, look! Raine might be dead!

Next episode she overworked herself.

In between ep.8 and 9 she was trying to scare the beast into transforming. (She is losing her sanity. Literally the previous episode told her not to do that.)

In episode 9 again it's all emotional. She wants to feel better and be stronger, so she told King to blast her (almost blasting Amity), hit fool's blood even though Amity said the lake is further ahead.

Luckily she showed progress too.

She ate voles, which was against how she was feeling.

In ep.10 she was scared of letting Luz in the portal. I'm not saying she wouldn't have before, but I don't think it was easy.

Right now, after s2ep10, I think she isn't the most mentally stable. But she is definitely working on it.

[worldwidemochiguy]

Reticence (soft! Yandere Hoseok)

Summary: You were always terrified of getting kidnapped when you were younger, and now that you’ve been taken by a man who claims to want to take care of you, you recede within yourself so far you refuse to even eat... but Hoseok is determined to let nothing hurt you, not even yourself.

Warnings: Kidnapping, kind of Stockholm syndrome, mentions of not eating so if you’re sensitive to that kind of stuff pls be careful <3 Yandere behaviour, though I am kind of romanticising it in this fic, please remember that that is all it is: Fiction. Obviously in real life this behaviour would be unacceptable and horrifying. 

Word Count: 2.2K

Masterlist :)

a/n: my first hobi fic!!! this is for @kpopgirlbtssvt​ from a request made about a billion years ago (sorry :/ ) for made-for-each-other verse! Yandere Hobi with a shy reader who wouldn’t talk even though he begged her to, and then him coming home from work to her telling him she missed him and was glad he was home. this was a lil less fluffy and a lil more angsty than i intended, but its still a ‘happy ending’ bc im a weak bitch with simple pleasures, what can i say lmao

Reticence

“What do you want for breakfast, sunshine?” 

Silence. 

Hoseok sighed, then straightened up again, walking over to the refrigerator. You remained sat by the kitchen island, empty gaze fixed on the marble countertop. 

“Omelettes it is, then!” He exclaimed with artificial excitement, trying to be cheery in the face of your taciturnity, but even the sunshiney optimist that was Hoseok was finding it more difficult than he expected. He had hoped that by now you would’ve accepted him, but you remained as quiet and unresponsive as the day he brought you home. Not that you thought of it as ‘home’ yet, but he hoped you would eventually. Hoseok was not a patient man, but he was willing to wait forever for you. 

You didn’t even blink when he set the plate down in front of you. It didn’t seem like you were going to attempt to eat it either. Hoseok sighed. He could understand if you didn’t want to talk to him yet — even though it had been months and he’d been nothing but kind to you — but he drew the line at refusing to eat. 

You had lost weight. The cute cheeks he loved to watch bunch up as you smiled were now sunken. Your beautiful figure which he had admired from afar was starting to become worryingly waif-like. Hoseok frowned, a crinkle between his brows forming for the first time as his usually exuberant features warped with agitation.

“Listen, Y/n-” Hoseok sat down at the kitchen island across from you, bracing his forearms against the table and leaning forwards. “You have to eat. I promise there’s nothing in it that could hurt you. Look, I’ll even eat it myself!” Hoseok carved out a small piece of the omelette and popped it in his mouth, exaggerating his chewing and swallowing. “See?” You offered no reaction, and Hoseok felt his disappointment join the omelette on its way down to his stomach. 

“I can understand that you maybe aren’t so happy with me right now, but that doesn’t mean you have to punish yourself. Just, please, please stop shutting me out.” His pleading tone did nothing to move you. You just sat there like a ghost, and a groan of frustration slipped out of Hoseok. 

“Please! I’m begging you! Just eat! I don’t understand, all I want to do is take care of you! All I want to do is love you, why won’t you accept me? Why won’t you even talk to me?” 

The only sound was Hoseok’s harsh breaths after his outburst. If he couldn’t see the slow rise and fall of your chest, Hoseok would think you weren’t alive at all. He slumped in his seat, allowing himself to wallow in self-pity for a moment, before forcing himself to get up and ready for work. When he passed through the kitchen again on his way out the door you were still sitting there, staring at the countertop. 

The front door banged shut, the sound echoing in the apartment. Then, silence. And then, very quietly, the noises of cutlery moving against a plate and chewing. 

~~~~~~

“I don’t know what to do~” Hoseok whined, his head buried in his hands. Around him, his shocked friends were gathered in an informal circle. Each of them had an expression with varying degrees of surprise and confusion — they had never seen Hoseok, the literal personification of sunshine, so dismayed. 

“It’ll be ok, Hoseok. I know it’s bad at the moment, but you just have to wait until she trusts you. Once you achieve her trust, you’ll both be the happiest you’ve ever been.” Taehyung reassured him. Taehyung was obviously the source of authority, since him and his wife were basically the perfect couple. 

“But what if she never trusts me?” Hoseok fretted, before groaning again. “She won’t even eat! I don’t know what to do, I’m just watching her slowly starve in front of me and she won’t even look at me!” The rest of the group paused as they digested this new information. It seemed this girl was particularly stubborn.

“Force feed her then.” Jin shrugged and Hoseok’s head shot up in outrage.

“No! I could never hurt her like that!”

“You’re hurting her by letting her starve.” Jeongguk pointed out, and Namjoon smacked the back of his head, chastising. Meanwhile, Hoseok looked like he was about to cry.

“Listen, Hoseok, are you sure this girl is the one?” Jimin questioned, bracing his clasped hands on his knees. 

“I know she is.” Hoseok replied with a conviction he rarely used. “The second she came into my life, it was like I was born again and she was the first thing I saw. The only thing I could see. Her face- God, it just… glows. She’s like sunshine. She’s an angel. She’s so beautiful and kind and fragile and I want to protect her from everything, and I don’t deserve her but no one else does either and I know we’re meant to be together. If I thought I could’ve let her go, I would have. But I can’t. I have to have her, she has to be mine.” 

The circle of men was quiet for a second, before a quiet chuckle broke the silence. 

“Well then,” Yoongi rasped, “if she’s all that you say she is-”

“She is.” Hoseok interjected fiercely.

“Then all you can do is have a little patience.”

~~~~~~~~~~

It was incredibly boring being kidnapped. Especially when your kidnapper did nothing interesting except make bad food and dance along to music from the TV surprisingly well and cry sometimes when you wouldn’t look at him. Frankly, it would have been easier if he were more of the torturey-type, because it was really hard to stay stubborn in the face of his sparkling eyes and radiant smile.

When you were younger, there was a poster up on the wall of your homeroom at school. On it was an old man with an ugly sneer and a beige trench-coat, with the slogan ‘DON’T TALK TO STRANGERS’ superimposed in glaring red letters. You used to stare up at the poster and wonder how anyone could be so stupid as to talk to someone who looked like that. 

You were never afraid to yell ‘STRANGER DANGER’ at the highest decibel your little lungs could manage whenever a person brushed too close to you in the mall. It was almost a habit — you were avidly fixated on your own personal safety, much to your mother’s chagrin and public embarrassment. Being banned from all the surrounding stores within a 20 mile radius had two consequences:

You had to drive forty minutes for a new pair of socks.

You stayed at home a lot more than you went out.

You became a homebody, and it was certainly not something you were unhappy about. Staying safe in your room meant there was less risk for someone to kidnap you. The comforting layer of your blanket was a shield from everything bad in the world. When your parents were arguing constantly, screaming at each other every other night, you would just tuck yourself in and read a bedtime story on your own since they were both occupied. When your parents eventually divorced, you buried yourself under your duvet rather than answer their questions about who you wanted to stay with, and what your preference was. When your mom died in a car crash, and your dad started drinking, your mattress was the shoulder you could cry on, your blanket was a warm arm holding you close. You had always felt safe in your bed. Perhaps that was why you were having such an averse reaction to being taken from it.

Hoseok was not a man with an ugly sneer and a trench coat. He had an impeccable sense of style, and his smile was breathtaking on the few occasions that it appeared. You more often saw his face twisted into a pained grimace. For a kidnapper, he was awfully sensitive. You were pretty sure it was reasonable for you to be holding grudge, and it’s not as if you were actively fighting against him or anything. You were just refusing to acknowledge him. You were highly skilled at repressing things, or ignoring them, and you were resolved to do the same now. 

By 7 o’ clock, your resolve was slightly eroded. Hoseok always arrived back at half-past 5 on the dot. He was a very punctual person, and you felt an unwelcome sense of worry curl along the edges of your mind as the clock counted away the seconds of him not being there. You remembered feeling the same way when you waited for your mom to pick you up from your dads, watching the clock hand sweep past the numbers, increasingly taunting. Of course, you hadn’t realised that she was at the time caught in between a lorry with a drunk driver and a very steep incline. You wondered if you were being similarly clueless now. 

When the door clicked open at quarter to 9, you had to restrain yourself from exhaling in relief. Hoseok came in looking slightly disheveled, his collar undone and his hair mussed as if he had ran his hands through it over and over again. He gave you a quick once over to see if you were alright, shot you a small, forced smile and then went straight to his bedroom, shutting the door behind him.

That was odd. He never closed the door to his bedroom. He had always left it open in case you needed anything, despite your refusal to acknowledge him. First, his late arrival and now yet another uncommon action? You felt curiosity bubble within you. That was it. Curiosity. It’s not that you were at all worried about him, you were just being nosy. Of course. 

You tiptoed towards the door, tracing a finger around the door frame lightly. What if he didn’t even come out again for dinner? You doubted he had dined out without you, he had been eating his meals sitting across from you while you refused to touch yours since the day he stole you. You really should check on him, if only for the fact that if he dies then you’re trapped here with a high chance of starvation.

Before you could convince yourself not to, you opened the door and stepped inside. The only light-source came from the moonlight filtering through the window, casting Hoseok’s form lying on the bed in a deep blue. His eyes, which you assumed had been closed previously, shot open to observe you as he propped himself up on the backs of his forearms.

“Y/n.” He rasped, and a pleasant shiver ran down your spine. “D-do you need anything?” His tone was both excited and confused, probably because you had literally never directly interacted with him before. 

You didn’t speak, and for the first time your silence was due to speechlessness, rather than a conscious desire.

“I-I, uh,” You stuttered, and Hoseok sat up ramrod straight, hearing your voice for the first time. “You… were late home.”

Hoseok felt like he couldn’t breathe. Your voice was so soft and pretty, fuck, and you were actually looking at him, you were actually talking to him, holy shit- and you called the apartment home. You said he was late ‘home’. Hoseok somehow managed to keep his shit together. 

“I was?”

“Yes.” You confirmed with a small nod of your head. Fuck, you were so cute. “You normally come back at half five. It’s almost nine now.”

“I’m sorry. I was working late.” He was staying at the office because he felt guilty for not taking proper care of you and wanted to avoid seeing the proof of your unhappiness, but you didn’t need to know that. 

“It’s ok.”

You remained standing at the foot of the bed, locked in his gaze. The bed looked so comfortable, moulding to support his body, and his warm body was exactly the comforting presence you were searching for all those years ago and you found yourself asking,

“Can I sleep in the bed with you?” 

It was a quiet, timid suggestion but Hoseok reacted to it like a bombshell. His eyes practically popped out of their sockets and his entire body tensed. You were about to rescind your offer when he reached out a tugged a corner of the blanket down, welcoming you into the warmth. 

You awkwardly sat on the edge of the mattress, nudging off your house slippers with your toes before slipping under the covers. The relief was instantaneous, shrouded in comforting and familiar warmth, and you couldn’t stop yourself from plastering yourself against his side, arm reaching out tentatively to rest on his chest. You felt his muscles jump under your touch, before his arm slid under you and tucked around your shoulders, drawing you into him closer. You closed your eyes, letting out a quiet little sigh, and you let yourself say the words you wish you could’ve said all those years ago when your mother never returned.

“I’m glad you’re home. I missed you.” 

[jjpogueprincess]

Thing Don’t always go to Plan

Hello Guys!!! So i know it’s been a minute but I’m back. I have 2 fics finished and am working on 2 more. These are all requested so one of the reason’s it’s taking me a minute is because I really want to try and do it Justice. So I hope It’s good!! 

Requested: Yes

I was thinking something about the reader being Bobby's sister and part of the band. She died with them and gets pissed off about Bobby not giving credit. Reggie comforts her in that scene and she helps them haunt him. She also comforts him when he finds out about his house. (It would be gold if she says something about "if I was alive I would never allow my niece to be like that") At the end, when they're getting shocked and almost disappearing, Reggie gets really worried about her because she's having it harder than them. When they get stronger after that last scene, Reggie just kisses her and everyone is shocked.   

OK. So I changed it a bit. Hope that's OK and I hope this is good! I've been working on it for what feels like forever! Just with 2 jobs and everything else going on its been hard.

There are some Time Skips. You have been warned!!

*Hollywood 1995*

*after rehearsals* 

Luke was talking about how the place will be packed tonight. You walk up to the stage while Alex is being modest 

"you know, Reggie's right. Embrace your awesomeness for once!" You say as they all look at you and smile. Alex finally agrees that he was awesome! 

"Hey y/n, were gonna go get street dogs, wanna come?" Reggie asks you. You can't say no to Reggie. You may have had a bit of a crush on him for the past 3 years, no big deal. 

"Yeah I'll go! Bobby you coming?" You ask your twin brother. You see him not paying attention and staring at the gorgeous bartender, rose.

"Bobby! Leave her alone!" He ignores me as they all walk up to her. Bobby says something about being a vegetarian. you laugh.

 "He had a hamburger for lunch, Rose. Don't let my brother fool you." You say as Bobby gives you a glare. You and the boys leave Bobby to go get street dogs. 

 *time skip 25 years later*

 *After Julie meets the band and y/n*

“Where is Luke? He should be back..” you didn’t even get to finish your sentence when Luke popped 

“Hey guys…..Julie!!” Luke says surprised. Julie looks at him and smiles. 

“Grab your guitar. We're working on that song for the dance.” as they were about to rehearse You got an idea. 

"Hey Luke. Why don't you, when done rehearsing, show Julie some sunset curve songs!! Im sure she would like that!" You said and Julie got excited 

"oh. Show me now!" She said and Luke started playing the opening riff to one of their songs and Julie didn't look impressed. 

"So you want to sample?" Julie said. We all looked at her confused. 

"What do you mean sample? These are original sunset curve songs." Luke said. Getting anxious.

 "No. Its a original Trevor Wilson song. Here. I can show you." She says, pulling up the site. You almost pass out. 

"That's Bobby. Guys. It's bobby." You said. Getting mad. You read through a list of the songs and just continued to get mad. You were fuming. How could he! How dare he!! Luke was telling Julie that these were his songs. 

"Crooked teeth?" Julie asked.

 "Luke wrote that about Reggie." Alex said 

"hey. I thought it was about you! I don't like that song any more." Reggie says pouting. You go over to him and rub his back. 

"His actual name is Bobby. And he was my brother. Im so pissed!!! Where does he live Julie." You ask. She shows you guys and next thing you know, you and the boys are in Bobby's place. You look around and Luke sees a platinum album with his song title. 

"My name is Luke? MY NAME IS LUKE!" he says. Fuming. 

"We need to do something guys. He can't continue to get away with this!!" You say as you see Bobby walking up the stairs. You follow. You guys start to prank him. As you go to turn on the shower, the mirror steams up.

 “Hello, Brother?” you write on the bathroom mirror. He gets scared and runs back into the bedroom trying to open the door. Where he sees a piece of paper hanging there. "How could you steal those songs! You had no right!" It read. He got even more freaked out and tried to open the door. But it wasn't budging. 

"Let me out!" Bobby screamed. So Alex let the door go and we all laughed. 

"Honey. I'm going to see my therapist." He says to his daughter. 

"I have a niece?" You say. Walking into the living room to see Flynn sitting with a boy and a girl. I look at her. "Wait. Carrie is my niece? She's so mean! If I was alive, I would never let her act like that!" You say to no one In particular. You shake your head and notice Julie out back with the guys who are mooning Bobby. 

"Guys. Cut it out. He can't see you. And I don't want to see your butts. Pretty sure Julie doesn't either!" You say to them. "Guys. We have music now. You guys and me! The best way to get back at Trevor is to make this band happen. Please. Don't do anything stupid." Julie says. "We won't. We promise we will be there at 9." They say. 

"I'm gonna stay with Julie. But remember, 9pm. Seriously guys. This is important!" 

 *time skip to when they arrive at the dance* 

 "Julie. We're here! Let's rock…" Reggie says. Before he has a chance to say anymore he's looking around. They realized they were too late. 

"Julie. We are so sorry!" Luke says.

 "Yeah. We just… lost track of time!" Alex says 

"and the twins." Reggie says. You give him this look. And shake your head. 

"You guys knew how important this was for her. And yet you blow it off by going to some club where there are twins and what for? All so you can try and get revenge on bobby? How did that work out for you?" You say to them. Sure you were mad but you were more disappointed. 

"Give Julie time. This was so embarrassing for her. You know that right? The only thing worse than getting stood up, is having your heart broken." You say. They look at you as you look at Reggie 

"you promised. All of you. And you, Reggie, promised that you wouldn't get distracted by other women! What about me? Do I mean nothing to you? Was i just conveniently there?" You say to Reggie. Tears streaming down your face. 

"Ya know. Just forget it. You guys have a lot of apologizing to do to Julie if you want her back. You really hurt her!" You say, poofing away. 

*time skip to the Orpheum after the performance*

 You go to find Julie backstage and congratulate her when you see her. Your heart shatters.

 "Are they...gone?" You say to her. Sure your relationship with Reggie has been rocky but you didn't even have enough time to fix it. And now they were gone. And you were alone. You didn't have your boys anymore. 

"I think so. I think…..they crossed over." She says. But you're just confused. 

"Then why didn't I go with them? I came with them, I should have left with them. Right?" You said. Julie just shrugged. When we got back to her place. We went to the garage. 

"Its weird. To think they're gone. And I'm still here! I never got to tell Reggie how I felt. I'll never see any of them again. I'm alone." You say to Julie. She looks at you. You look like you needed a hug. 

" you still have me. I love the guys to. But I hope they found peace. Now I'm gonna help you. We will get through this. You are not alone. Im here!" She says to you. All of a sudden you both hear a groan.

 "We love you guys t0o." You hear Luke say. You both gasp and turn on the lights. There they lay. Your boys. In pain on the floor. They get shocked again.

 "Please guys. Just go. Join Caleb so you aren't in pain anymore. Please! Save yourselves. For me." Julie says crying. I nod. 

"I'll go with you guys! We can all 4 go! Please." You say. Reggie just stands up and shakes his head. 

"No. We can't go back there." Reggie says. Alex nods. 

"No music is worth making, if it isn't with you Julie." Luke says crying. Julie runs up to him and hugs him. You all look shocked. Then a white light starts glowing from both of them. 

"How can I feel you?" Julie says to Luke as they both just hold each other.

 "I don't know. But I don't feel so weak anymore." Luke says. Julie pulls the rest of us in for the hug. White light surrounds us. Then we look down and the marks on the guys arms disappear. "What do you think this means?" Julie says. "I don’t know. But can we try that hug thing one more time?" Alex says. You step out of it and just let them hug it out. You smile watching them. You had your boys. And now Julie. You were happy. As you were lost in thought. Reggie came up to you and pulled you out of your thoughts by kissing you. You're surprised and he pulls back. Thinking he did something wrong. You pull him back in for another kiss. This time you both respond. After what felt like forever, you pull away with a blush. 

"What was that for?" Reggie asked. "I could ask the same thing. You kissed me first, remember." You say to him. He just smiles. 

"I thought i lost you. And thinking that almost made me lose my mind. I don't know what I would do without you or the guys! You're my family. You're all I have! I..I love you Reggie. I have been since before we met." You say to him. He blushes and pulls you in for another kiss. 

"I love you too. And don't you ever doubt that. Ok?" Reggie says, keeping you close. "Ok." You say. Whatever the future holds, we will go through it. Together. 

[moriphyte]

What are your personal head canons for the sleepy bois inc. family?

i have a lot of thoughts on them so im just gonna put it under a readmore cause it got long, this is just my view of it.

phil, as part angel of death, is essentially immortal. he spends hundreds of years traveling the mc world and along the way picks up a maybe not so bad habit of taking in stray kids that need a home.

the first and oldest is techno, who phil meets in one of the many illegal fighting rings he competes in to make money. phil is very surprised when he’s partnered with a half piglin child. he’s even more surprised when he sees the kid fight. technoblade is only 8 but he fights better than most adults phil knows. they become fast friends, and very quickly phil puts the pieces of techno’s situation together. he’s a street kid, long ago tossed aside for being a hybrid, that had joined an underground fight ring in order to survive. the ring runners only gave him enough of his earnings to survive, leaving techno to live on the streets and taking the rest for themselves. if he lost a fight he was severely punished. phil confronts techno but he denies the abuse and refuses help outright. still, phil refuses to let it continue and steps in to defend techno from the ring runners. after escaping the ring runners and with nowhere else to go but back on the streets, techno accepts phil’s offer to stay with him. techno doesn’t like to define their relationship as father and son, they are just family, and they take care of and protect each other.

less than a year later phil is out hunting when he finds a 5 year old wilbur starving to death in the forest. he takes the dying boy back to their house and together he and techno struggle to keep him alive. they almost loose him multiple times over the first week, but eventually he pulls through (though he does grow up a rather sickly, skinny child.) with very little memory of where he came from aside from the fact that he had run away from a neglectful foster home and no where else to go, wilbur accepts phil’s offer to be part of their family and it doesn’t take him long to start calling phil his dad and techno his brother. phil almost cries the first time he does it, techno only allows it because he can’t bring himself to say no to little wilbur. phil has to leave sometimes for long travels to build sites, which is the only way to keep them all fed, leaving techno (9) and wilbur (6) to care for each other and the house.

when wilbur is 11, he is taking out the trash one night only to find a feral child eating out of their garbage can. the kid is dirty, and skinny, and scared but all wilbur can see is himself starved half to death in that forest where phil found him and he just knows he needs to help him. the kid scratches the shit out of him and bites him multiple times but wil manages to calm him down and get him inside the house for some food. wilbur asks the boys name but all he says is “what’s a name?” so wilbur decides to name him tommy. when phil and techno get back from hunting they find wilbur struggling to stay awake with a small blond child curled up against him, fast asleep. wilbur tells them he found the boy eating out of their trash, and that he’s named him tommy. and that was that. soon after phil was forced to go abroad more often for his building jobs, bringing techno with him and leaving wilbur to care for and raise tommy. about a year later wilbur and tommy find tubbo in a box on the side of the road and take him in.

[nightlight-stardust-and-rain]

My multishipper ass strikes again - I found some Lavi/Wisely fanfics and like. Nice?

OK so imagine : Lavi and the boy that would become Wisely (we don't know the name he had when he was human so I'll just call him Wisely) met when they were something like 9 years old. Lavi had just begun to get the "Bookman have no heart" thing but like he's a kid. He has feelings. Lots of feelings. So he's kinda... Not okay? I mean he is okay but he's learning to not care and he would very much like the awfully detailed nightmares to stop.

For Wisely, well. We know nothing about his past except that as an adult he's homeless we know nothing of his childhood and most likely never will. so... He's just a normal kid? His parents aren't rich but they aren't poor either - they're just not often home. He likes to wander through hmm London? When he's bored. Which happens pretty often! Wisely is very curious about everything!

When they meet, Wisely is once again wandering and Lavi is... Aslo wandering since Bookman asked him to map the city by himself. Wisely is immediately intrigued by Lavi because he knows pretty much everyone here and Lavi is new! Also his age! Weird hair color! Weird clothes! An eyepatch! Wisely almost scares Lavi by harassing him with questions even before he knew his name. Lavi is startled but well! He has questions too!

They talk for hours while Wisely shows Lavi all the interesting alleys and interesting bars and everything. Wisely is awed by how much Lavi traveled! He himself never left London :( but the other countries Lavi is talking about seems awesome!

Being only nine and still pretty bad at not getting attached, Lavi likes Wisely à lot ! They're the same age but Wisely is so... Pure. He never saw anyone die or being tortured or raped or beheaded... He's so naive and innocent! It's refreshing. Lavi only ever sees awful things - but Wisely is nice. Warm.

Wisely is just happy to have a friend! He didn't have any before and Lavi is so cool! He knows so many things! He seems a bit sad too... But he seems pretty happy talking about all the spices in India right now. So that's okay?

Lavi doesn't gives Wisely the name he has now - it will change pretty soon anyway. He tells Wisely he has no name - which isn't untrue. Wisely thinks it's weird but cool! He'll just call Lavi "my friend" then! (no, Lavi doesn't have tears in his eye. Shut up, it's the first time he has been called friend) that's how Lavi gets a new name - one that Bookman will never know but that he'll always have - "friend".

Bookman and Lavi leave three weeks after. Lavi spent all of his free time with Wisely and they're both very sad to leave the only friend they ever had.

Then Wisely manages to get one of those... Carrier pigeons? You see what I mean. So that Lavi can still talk to him! (I know that Lavi and Bookman travel constantly so the pigeon wouldn't be able to find them - I just have no other way to keep them in contact! Wait are there phones in dgm - I don't remember. If yes, then they talk by phone, if not then it's by pigeon!) - I mean the thing is : they stay in contact.

Bookman obviously knows about this. He doesn't says anything because while being attached to Wisely is not good, Wisely isn't part of the record - of any record, really. The rule is to not get attached to stay unbiased : Lavi is unbiased. His friendship with Wisely doesn't affect his records, so Bookman let it keep going. When Wisely die, Bookman will say something like "I told you so" to Lavi and that will teach him to not get attached.

Anyway - they're friends. They talk as often as they can. Lavi has a lot to say about the countries he sees - he never says anything about the wars and the blood and the smoke. Wisely doesn't really haves anything interesting to say - he doesn't tells Lavi that his parents kicked him out when he reached 16 and that he lives on the streets now.

They're in love.

It happened naturally, even if they only see each other when Bookman has something to do in London, which doesn't happens often. It's a long-distance relationship. They talked about it once. Said I love you. Decided they were dating now and kept going just like before. Their relationship doesn't really changes - it just has a different name now. Lavi has a different name now. Wisely still calls him friend - but now he also calls him love. Lavi never had a true name before being "friend" and now he's also called "love". Those are pretty weird names. But he likes them.

Then Wisely disappears. He's 17. Eyes grew on his forehead and he killed two policemen. He forgot the boy with red hair and one green eye and two names - my friend my love.

Lavi is... Devastated. He's been in the Order for a while now. Writing to Wisely had been a beacon of light in this war he's forced to fight - he never wanted to fight. Only observe (he wasn't sure he wanted to observe). And now Wisely doesn't answers to his letters anymore. Oh, he knows why. He noticed that Wiselys' letters were always in poor shape - water and rain and dirt - he knew Wisely was homeless. He would never stop answering if he could help it - he's dead. It hurts. "Lavi" feels awful to hear, because he wants someone to call him by his true name (my friend my love) but he isn't here. Wisely is dead. Bookman has a "I told you so" face for two days but says nothing. Lavi feels colder (he doesn't cares about them why won't they leave him alone??) and angrier (why are they alive when Wisely isn't why is he this isn't fair). His heart feels empty - he remembers why he hates humans. And now, now he's fighting a war. To save humanity. And he hates it. Why are they here why is he here. He hates them.

Wisely is quite happy with his new-old family. Something is missing. Someone (red hair green eye gentle words letters about somewhere else I love y-) but no. No one is missing. All of the Noah are here and there was no one with him when he woke up except those two policemen - no one's missing.

Then Lavi and Bookman are captured.

Wisely isn't here right now - he's home a week after Lavi's and Bookman's arrival. Lavi's been tortured by Sheryl for a while. His master refuses to say anything, even if that might save Lavi. It hurts a bit, but he's used to it, and his body is more painful than his mind right now. It's distracting.

He's being tortured when Wisely walks in. He's been called to read Bookman's mind. He sees the other person. The redhead. He freezes.

He feels his own mind nagging at him and he feels himself in the redhead's mind and memories he shouldn't have (a weird crooked smile not used to being genuine, only one eye and questions about the other, the books he carried everywhere, warm lips on his forehead, "let me show you how to light a fire from scratch", little bits of happiness when everything was wrong, "you don't have a name? Then I'll just call you my friend!" "remember when I decided your name was my friend? Now your name is also my love", a low laugh and a grin, I love him I love him I love him I love him I love him I love him -) it hurts. He has a headache. And then he looks, really looks at the redhead (my friend my love-) and meets a sole wide eye that is still exactly the same green he remembers.

(Lavi recognizes him of course. Not the same hair, not the same skin color, eyes on his forehead - doesn't matter. It's Wisely)

(Wisely is so so so happy. It feels weird, feeling something so intense. But he loves him so much. He was wrong - someone was missing. Someone very important. But he's here now!)

(Tyki and Sheryl look at each other, dumbfounded. They never saw Wisely smile like that. And the Bookman junior looks star-struck. They know each other - but how? And what do they do now?)

(Wisely asks him if he still despises humans. Lavi laughs, almost chokes on blood, and keeps laughing. Of course he does! And Wisely asks him if he wants to stay with him - join the Noah. Everyone in the room is surprised. Lavi spend quite a time mourning Wisely - he's not letting him go now. He smiles with blood-stained teeth)

(Bookman thinks he should have burned the first letter Lavi sent to London)

[wolfwhiteflowers]

I found this on twitter and wanted (try) to answer them here instead. :B Great questions! thanks. @LM_Nocass twitter.com/LM_Nocass/ status/1292935841258647553

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𝐚 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐂𝐚𝐫𝐲𝐥/𝐂𝐚𝐫𝐨𝐥/𝐃𝐚𝐫𝐲𝐥 𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐰𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮'𝐫𝐞 𝐛𝐨𝐫𝐞𝐝 (𝐩𝐥𝐬 𝐪𝐮𝐨𝐭𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲); 2:28 PM · Aug 10, 2020 --------------@LM_Nocass

1. Which part of herself does Carol see in Daryl?  ||um same brokenness past and seeing that there’s good parts in him. He’s not like Merle and Ed. 2. Which part of himself does Daryl see in Carol?  ||They both know what it’s like to be abused and have an understanding. He sees strength in her. /...I think they slowly start to think they’re not alone on feeling like the odd one out or fighting to live before Apoc. They eventually think they’re a lot alike and connected right away. s1-s2. I guess they both started to grow at the same time and look after each other’s back ever since.

3. If there was no za and they met each other, would they be so close? Why?    ||Yeah I think so. But not so close or “early” on. Probably lil glimpse of like oh they’re alike and good people. But other things in the way...like Carol or Daryl be stuck in bad situations and die or something. Y’kno Daryl would’ve been like “mini Merle” or like.... dead from stopping a fight or prison. Carol could just be dead or lost herself from being with Ed. ...Unless they got away from their abusers :) I can see there’s a chance of them getting close.   *”mini Merle” I think I got this phrase wrong. Mini Merle is Merle’s hand weapon thing. I meant that Daryl would have become more damaged,lost, and be similar to Merle then. ..like a younger Merle.

4. How do you think, Alexandria's ppl ship them or they don’t care? Why?  || BTW, I think of what the writers want or had in mind.. Anyway, when Rlchonne happened or Abe and Sasha went canon, it just seems like very neutral whatever way. Well I guess the show isn’t that .. charactery and romantic. -_-  Anyway, I think they care and are supportive and of all Team family but mind their business. I think practically everyone knows about Caryl and their close relationship. I guess they’re like in the same boat as us or general fans. We would be happy if they get together but if not then like ....hmm you guys are so together~  Um..I guess people would be going WTF if Caryl grew apart.

5. AU: real life. Which one of them is more attractive to believe in supernatural stuff? Why?   || they both seem to be into that. erm I’ll say Daryl.

6. AU: real life. Which one of them is more attractive to send a lot of Red heartFace throwing a kissSmiling face with heart-shaped eyes and etc? Why?   || Carol is more open to display of affection. But Daryl got his heart on his sleeves. He’s straightforward tells/show you how he feels and means it.

13. What would do today's Carol if she met someone like Ed?  ||Probably she be able to stand up to him when he starts to be controlling and she speak out and say it’s not right. Idk..maybe them talking it out will make Ed change himself if he wants to. And she walks away from him early on. 14. If today's Carol met past Carol, what would she say to her?   ||You’re stronger than you think you are. You are enough. These hard times made her wiser in Apoc./life. She’s always a mother..when they’re gone, they’re still with her. 15. If today's Daryl met past Daryl, what would he say to him?    ||This doesn’t always have to be this way/Merle-life. You’re not alone. Good people will stick with you. Trust them. Your goodness matters. You don’t need to depend on Merle. If Merle wouldn’t change now then he won’t later on. Idk... Daryl is so loyal and to his brother. So it’s just he gotta let Merle/his past go. 16. Why does Daryl prefer the crossbow, not a bow?   ||I guess that’s what hunters like to use most often. Idk. 17. AU: real life. Which one of them is most likely to surfing in the Internet for hours? Why?   ||Carol because she mentioned internet in s4. lol Okay um yeah Carol I guess. I think she likes to research on things. Daryl is more outdoorsy kind of person. 18. AU: real life. Which one of them will have a private acc on social medias and who won’t care?   ||I think both would be private...or heck Daryl not private but barely any content. lol Just hunting, nature stuff and games.

19. AU: real life. Which one of them will send memes?   ||Carol because she like goofy or sassy jokes.

20. AU: real life.  What profession is suitable for Carol? Why?  ||hmm housewife, teacher, nurse, or something to look after the community.. She likes to cook but Idk if she likes to do it often. Some job to care about the people and place.

21. AU: real life. What profession is suitable for Daryl? Why? ||A hunter, mechanic, or construction worker. Something like hands-on job.

22. Which of them has a black sense of humor?   ||I think Carol have a dark/black sense of humor. Daryl is ..more less humor-y. more sarcastic. idk what im saying.

23. Had Daryl ever thought about having children? If he did, he would prefer boy or daughter?    ||I think he never really thought of it till he’s away from Merle/past life. But Idk I think he doesn’t really think on it. He just wants to protect all kids. He’s Uncle Daryl. I don’t think he has a preference.

24. Is Daryl asexual or demisexual? Or other? Why?    ||Read ? #10. I say so far it seems like he’s demisexual from what Kang said and from what people/fandom been always questioning him from the show and from that 6 years in woods plot. (Also the show isn’t that showy on romance and relationships so I didn’t think they would bother to address his romance/sexuality but they did so ok.) I guess I always think of him as demisexual...or someone who would be friends to lovers kind of person. He’s the closest with Carol so..slowburn to canon, yeah? /// This makes me think of Carol’s relationships and how she is fine having sex anytime ..no emotions involved way...She doesn’t really have or know a good emotional canon relationship except almost with Zeke, I guess. 25. Carol’s fav movie genre(s)? ||Romcoms <3

26. Daryl’s fav movie genre(s)?  ||action / horror :O 27. When the show ends, what kind of ending do you want for them?   ||I want good writing and that flows right. Caryl be Caryl. I guess them riding off to the sunset to New Mexico. Or..looking after team family in ASZ or TF working together to find/help Rick and living their best lives in a community. A happy ending pls. 28. Which one of them is good at math?  ||hmm Carol. Daryl would be good at reading..science.

29. If there was Caryl movie, what song(s) would you add to it?   || hmm a song to add, I would pick ..”You and Me” by Pink I think. Or, “X and Y” by Coldplay. Or, “Cosmic Love” by Florence Machine. 30. Did Daryl help you?   ||I really appreciate the writers and the acting did with Daryl and Carol. They’re really unique, interesting and relatable characters. Daryl helped me to keep being myself and do what’s right even when you feel odd ball out. Idk I also like that we see characters like Daryl and Carol what we stereotypical think they may be like in s1 but then we see they’re relatable and we can be more open minded to other people.  I liked that we see him getting a chance to grow and see how loyal he is. 31. Did Carol help you?  ||Yeah. I really like how she’s like I guess most people in s1, quiet, timid, not quite fit into the Apoc. world, but learns to trust herself, get braver and open up. She’s like so strong and brave now but it’s not surprising to see that in a way because we see her character development and I like how writers and acting, made it so relatable and realistic to me. We all can be like Carol. //I think she’s a great character to watch for mothers who lost kids or was a abused wife/person. Same with Daryl as a abused child/brother in that Merle’s lifestyle.

32. What did Caryl give you? Hope? Strength?  ||I really like what became Caryl in the show for years. They became one of my fave ships. They’re unique and I love that we see their strong bond and connection. They’re soulmatey and angsty. Idk I feel like they gave hope that there are people that will get you and have your back. And strength, they grown so much and made me think about myself to keep facing my fears and be in a healthy relationship. 33. Carol’s fav music genre(s)?   ||Country pop. Idk.. I think McReedus are into Rock music so. 34. Daryl’s fav music genre(s)?   ||Country rock. ...Idk Metal music.

35. Describe Carol in one word. ||Brave

36. Describe Daryl in one word. ||Loyal or uh a word that means does what he think is the right thing to do...and caring. Uncle.

37. What do you expect from them in season 11?  ||Idk I’m really clueless. TWD right now is really not by the comics anymore and it’s hard to speculate now. I’m kinda hoping they have something a plot that relates to taking care of the Grimes kids and a plot/s that relates to Rick’s journey/TWD show. Idk well I guess they be figuring it out what to do with Maggie and politics with the ..spoiler- new communities.

I hope for good writing and if they go canon, I hope they write good relationship/romance writing. As in they don’t separate them and break up a bunch of times or be boring. eek. I hope it’s like they still be like the subtle canon ship..like RIchonne as there is something else they have to do together. Like they be canon but they talk about the new plots/problems/family in s11 and their relationship grows.

38. Your favorite Caryl season(s)? Why?  ||It’s season 2 or s10. I feel it’s the most Caryl interaction and them deepening their relationship. 39. When do you think Daryl was ready to start a relationship? Or do you still think he isn't ready? Or he is ready rn?    ||Whenever the writers are ready. :\  I think as a character he’s ready...yeah especially s10. He’s not hiding and being emo in the woods in s9. He’s not the (Rick’s)sidekick character anymore. He’s I think grown a lot by being with people and opening up being a leader-like now, domestic?,leading character, and I think he’s now more ready to have romantic relationship if he wants to. And for Carol ..rn is like does she feel worthy or ok to have love again. ooh angst. 40. Which of them is owl, and which of them is lark? Why?  || I think Daryl is a lark/early bird because he likes the quietness and time to hunt, and Carol is a night owl because she likes to know what else is going on when it’s the dark.

[eloarei]

tl;dr and TW: I had a miscarriage (and an ER visit)

So, I haven’t been on tumblr for a while. Let’s see how long. ...Three and a half months. Basically, I haven’t been on since a little before I found out I was pregnant.  See, my birthday was January 28th. My last period had started on New Year’s Day, so I was slated to start again on my birthday, and I just kept thinking, “gosh, I would really like to not be on my period on my birthday!”  Well, I got my wish. A few days came and went, and I thought, “okay, I’m pregnant.” This wasn’t an overreaction; I’d never been more than 3 days late in the past few years, and I just... felt it. I took the test, and lo and behold, it was positive. A ‘dye-stealer’, even. (A strong positive, where the positive line ‘steals’ all the dye from the control line.) (I’ve spent a lot of time on pregnancy forums; I’m familiar with a whole new world now.)  I was happy. Mostly excited, mostly not scared. My husband was the same. We’d been married for 12 years with no kids, no prior pregnancies, and I’d thought for a few years that I probably did want kids-- it just... never happened. We were too careful, until we decided not to be. (Even then, we weren’t trying. We just let things do as they would.)  The next 6 weeks were interesting. It was... neat? Neat to feel all the minute changes. Every day I was so aware of my body and what was happening to it. Even though I was almost not showing at all (I could see a slight difference; nobody else would have), I felt so big, and I was exhausted, but it was kind of fun. It was fun thinking about having an October baby; maybe its birthday would end up on my husband’s, or my old bff’s. Maybe it’d be 10-15-20. I thought that would be cool. And I thought about names, about how we’d arrange the house, how we’d afford everything when we have such a habit of just squeaking by. I felt we were up for the challenge.  But I read a lot of information. SO MUCH information. So I knew there was a chance it wouldn’t work out. After all, roughly 1 out of every 4 known pregnancies ends badly. And there was no reason why I should miscarry, when I was healthy, and my family didn’t have a history of common miscarriages. But I wasn’t stupid, and I’ve never been the kind of person to say, “it won’t happen to me”.  I guess I was lucky that I read so much, that I knew things could go wrong, because they did. Even so, I wasn’t entirely prepared. I started bleeding around week 9, so I read an absolute ton about miscarriages. They all said it happened pretty quick-- maybe a few days of light bleeding before the ‘big event’, and that the event itself was painful-- AT LEAST like heavy period cramps. When I continued bleeding for over a week I thought “...maybe it’s not a miscarriage?” I read some more and determined it could have been a subchorionic hemorrhage-- bleeding in the uterus that is usually not fatal to the baby, often characterized by period-like bleeding: long, slow, not very painful.  The whole time I was trying to find a place to get an ultrasound. I don’t/didn’t have a doctor of my own, a primary care physician or an obstetrician. I’ve never really done doctors. Figured I’d wait until about the second trimester to find one, since my readings told me a lot of doctors waited til week 10+ for the first appointment anyway. Unfortunately, all the clinics I talked to wouldn’t deal with me when I mentioned I had some bleeding-- even though it was just a little bit! Less than a period. “Go to the ER”, they said, to which I responded that I absolutely was not going to go to the ER for a non-emergency when hospitals were stuffed with coronavirus patients.  Therefore, I just waited while I kept looking, hoping it would sort itself out.  In a way, it eventually did. Monday morning, as I was about to go to sleep (I work nights), I had some slightly heavier bleeding. Thought it might have been another small clot. Sat on the toilet for an hour before I felt woozy and decided to lay in the tub before I passed out. Thank god for my husband, because I don’t know if I would have survived the next several hours without him.  HERE’s the TMI >>>>>>>  I continued bleeding for the next three hours, my husband pouring warm water on me to wash all the little clots away. After a while, I passed a huge clot, size of an egg. Ever done that science experiment where you use vinegar or something to dissolve an egg shell and you’re left with just the innards in a flexible membrane? Well it was like that, but blood. I passed out a little while after that.  ....That’s when I knew things were getting weird. It was my second time passing out ever, and I hated it. I think it’s literally my least favorite thing in the world. 5 seconds that feels like an eternity and it feels like you’re going to die but you can’t explain why. Terrible.  I still thought maybe we could get through this. It didn’t hurt, it was just... well, losing blood. It was within the realm of what I’d read about subchornionic hemorrhage, so I thought maybe that clot was the worst of it. HMM, I was wrong. I passed another one just like it. Then I passed out twice in quick succession, upchucked all over myself (the smell haunts me, ugh), and apparently turned rather blue. So I told him, “hey, it’s time for the ER”.  Boy, that was....... a thing. He called his mom because I said I didn’t want him driving and for me to pass out again when he couldn’t help. I swaddled myself in towels and garbage bags so I wouldn’t bleed all over the damn place, all the while feeling like I might just die at any moment. When we got to the ER, they put me in a wheelchair, asked me some questions I could barely answer, and then took me back.  The next 24 hours consisted of being stabbed, suctioned, and pumped with 5 liters of saline solution which left me smelling weird. I was barely conscious for the first half of it, but talking and joking whenever I could-- because apparently that’s how I deal with stress. Anyone surprised?  Anyway, they quickly confirmed what I knew as soon as I passed more than one ungodly egg-clot: it was a miscarriage. They removed what was left; I didn’t look at it, but my husband said there... wasn’t really much. Nobody did any analyses, so I’m left to surmise that it wouldn’t have been more than 6 weeks (or possibly anembryonic), meaning it was just in there for 5+ weeks by then, doing nothing but accumulating blood. Insult to injury much?  The biggest strangeness of the whole ordeal, the reason why I didn’t expect it was a miscarriage in the first place, was that none of it hurt. Every story I read said it hurt, but this just felt... awkward. I mean, passing out wasn’t fun. Sure as hell didn’t feel comfortable, but I never experienced any pain (except the blood draws; lord did those bruise. Ugh).  The whole thing left me feeling exhausted. It took days before I could do more than toddle around the house. It’s been 2 weeks now, but I still feel a little sick when I think about those fucking clots, or the strangeness of the ER, or passing out 4+ times. I’m hoping I don’t have brain damage, geez. I certainly feel mentally slower than usual, like maybe the pregnancy-brain never went back to normal.  As for what I feel emotionally... it’s... hard to say. I’m sad. Disappointed, annoyed. But mostly I was scared. And that makes me hesitant. I still want a kid. I wanted that kid. But I’ve always been very careful. We always knew the risks and wanted to wait until the right time. The problem is, now... Now I’m more intimately familiar with some of the risks, and I’m a bit afraid it’s going to make me too careful. Will I ever get another chance? Will I ever give myself another chance? I don’t know. I really just don’t.  Mostly though, I am glad to be alive. And while I was more than accepting of the ugly bloated and tired feeling of pregnancy, I’m happy to take the good with the bad now. I hate what I lost, but my body is starting to feel normal again, and... well, that’s nice, I guess.  Anyway... That’s partly why I haven’t been online, and what I’ve been up to since. God I hope you guys have all had nicer, less-eventful years so far. (If you wanna catch up, feel free to message me. The IM feature seems busted on my end, so maybe try sending an ask or something instead.) 

[seblore]

everyday i wake up and you still havent posted your evermore rant </3

there u go boo 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩

GDBDNSKDJHHDDNDS GIRL................ ok so i very cleverly avoided ranking folklore because every song REALLY HIT and the whole album was just SO.. SO.. yeah. i can however rank miss evermore. i dont want to compare the two album i do not get the point in that. both give off really different vibes. now what i will say is with folklore, AS AN ALBUM, it is just a master masterpiece. The songs flowed amazingly with each other and really held you close the entire first listen. at least thats what I felt like <3 with evermore however, the individual songs are OMG!!! THERE IS LITERALLY NO SONG I DONT LIKE FROM ANY OF THE TWO ALBUMS. but as an album on the first listen i did feel a bit disconnected from evermore which didnt happen to me with folklore. why i think that might’ve happened is BECAUSE taylor is just so brilliant m8.... the MASSIVE contrasting emotions between the songs was too much for my little brain to handle.

Ok so now that’s out of the way dhsjsk time for rankings :) i have no idea where im going to put each song im just going to make it up as we go <3 ill ALSO give you my fave lyrics from each if I remember it <333 (oh and also you’ll notice marjorie isnt here. im sorry but i never listened to it after the first listen because it hits a little too close to home and i dont want to unpack all of that now im sorry! it is a beautiful song)

14. Closure: she popped off <3 she really said dont treat me like a situation that needs to be handled 💃🤙💯 a beautiful song with beautiful lyrics HOWEVER its the first song i couldnt connect with thus it’s down here BUT I STILL WOULD LISTEN TO IT ON REPEAT THO... the last in my ranking but still fucks 🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️ thats taylor swift 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩

13. long story short: i have never been in a relationship ever BUT GODDAMN ‘pushed from the precipice, clung to the nearest lips’ hdjsksksjjddjnBbdns jddd ubebs!:!?:?:$3&39383$hzjs WOAH.... and this bitch really summarized the full 2016 drama with long story short it was a bad time. HILARITY. yeah not much to say here tho this is just the ‘at least one mandatory song to shake your tits to on each ts album’ song of evermore <3 and always remember that if the shoe fits walk in it TILL YOUR HIGH HEELS BREAK WOOH ANDIFELLDOWNTHEPEDESTALRIGHTDOWNTHERA—

12: dorothea: making a lark of misery :D RENt free. i had to listen to ‘if youre tired of being known for who you know you know youll always know me’ 113 times to finally understand it tho 😐 some of us are stupid and illiterate have you ever thought about that miss swift???? anyways TINGTINGTINGINGINGING THE STARS IN YOUR EYES SHINED BRIGHTER IN TUPELO <33333 such an innocent feel good song I LOVE!!!!!

11. ivy: the goddamn here and the hush of mirrorball ARE THE REASON IM STILL ALIVE 😽 another lyrical masterclass <3 ‘id live and die for moments that we stole on begged and borrowed time’ IS2G!!!!!!!!!!! anyways what if you cheated on your husband with me and i cheated on my husband with you and my pain fit in the palm of your freezing hands 😳 JK JK 😅 unless...... 🤪😏 hdjsks yeah this song is magnificently cursed and i am in love with it 🧎‍♀️

10. tis the damn season: this song is august but the other side of the coin. august but four months later. AUGUST SLIPPED AWAY LIKE A BOTTLE OF WINE- THE HOLIDAYS LINGER LIKE A BAD PERFUMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE... she sounds so pretty goshhh! ‘time flies messy as the mud on your truck tires NOW IM MISSING YOUR SMILE hear me out we could just ride around and the road not taken looks real good now’ is on repeat in my mind. and as always the bridge ::::::::::::::.............:::::::::::::: how does she do this everytime. ‘and wonder about the only soul who can tell which smiles im faking’ 🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️ after every ts song i listen my expectations about true love grows exponentially and my chances of finding true love falls exponentially simultaneously ADIEU.

9. willow: she really took the invisible string quartet and put it in huh..................... FUCKED IN THE HEADDDDDDDDDDDDDD. what can i say <3 its just such a pretty song <3 hashtag gorgeous hashtag i cant say anything to its face. WRECK MY PLANS!!!!!! WRECK IT BITCH!!! ‘wait for the signal and ill meet you after dark’ LOVE STORY WHIPLASH. also mate i cant even focus on the song she looks SO GOOD in the music video i—

8. happiness: !!!! what can i say.... one of the best songs of the album hands down. lyrical masterpiece AND musically rich. she really logged into tumblr dot com and typed out ‘THERE’LL BE HAPPINESS AFTER YOU’ AND ‘THERE WAS HAPPINESS BECAUSE OF YOU’ ARE IDEAS THAT CAN COEXIST and logged off...... h8 her and her insanity. the one word i have to describe this song is: picturesque. tis a picturesque song <3 oh and dfbhhffcbhDDVHHTRSDVJK when i heard ‘i hope she’ll be a beautiful fool who takes my spot next to you’ i audibly GASPED and then she says ‘no i didnt mean that sorry i cant see facts through all of my fury’................. i fell out of my chair. IT FELT LIKE AS IF SHE HEARD MY GASP AND TOLD ME SPECIFICALLY THAT NO SHE DIDNT MEAN IT LIKE THAT... anyways yeah. ill write an article one day named THE SWIFT DECEPTION OF TAYLOR about how she keeps writing songs with deceptive titles and this will be the opening case 😈🤙 also the fact that this is one of my faves and i put it in number 8 says a lot......

7. evermore: i havent recovered from ‘motion capture. put me in a bad light’. i mean come on the whole goddamn song is a lyrical masterpiece. ‘writing letters addressed to the fire’. IS SHE OK!????????????? i think tf not. beautiful song beautiful arrangement. iver sounded really good too. and lol lol rofl WOOFWOOFbarkbark ‘HEY DECEMBER GUESS IM FEELING UNMOORED’ unmoored definition from google dot com: no longer attached. she doesn’t go back to december anymore. about2 faint oml. long story short: i did not survive. THIS PAIN WOULD BE FOR EVERMORE........ what i felt with this song is that she took the quarantine sadness we all felt at least once this year and made it into a masterpiece of a song. couldve been easily the top song on any album except this. no i will not elaborate <3

6. no body no crime: i cannot believe. she teased us with a musical number. this woman teased us with. a musical number. I THINK SHE IS WRITING A MUSICAL BUT I JUST CANT PROVE IT! when she wins that tony 16 years later call me prophetic xoxo. anyways yeah she literally wrote this to flex her storytelling abilities. send tweet 🐥

5. cowboy like me: YEEEHAWWW I’LL BE HONEST WITH YOU I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT THE FULL SONG SOUNDS LIKE I JUST HAVE THE BRIDGE ON REPEAT!!!! OMFG!!! the skeletons in both our closets plotted hard to fuck this up. AAAA!! ??? STFU. IM NOT EVEN TALKING ABOUT THE LYRICS MATE THE WAY ITS SUNG!!!!!!! GUT WRENCHING! the best bridge she has ever written musically. i cant stop listening to it. REALLYYY DID BELIEEEVE I WAS THE ONEEE. STORIESSS ABOUT WHEEEN YOU PASSSEDDD THROUGHH TOWN. y e l l. and then she hits me with ‘now you hang from my lips like the gardens of babylon.’ L ???? M !!!!! A $$$$$ O “”””” i had to pause it and sit there for 10 minutes to take in what i had just heard. case closed critical hit sustained yeedhawd.

4. tolerate it: i cried. the only reason it’s not 1 is because it hurt me too much. WHAT THE FUCK YOU MF YOU ASSUME IM FINE BUT WYD IF I BREAK FREE AND LEAVE US IN THE RUINS???? TOOK THIS DAGGER IN ME AND REMOV— m8 this physically hurts me everytime. if its all in my head TELL ME RN. aghhh aRghhhhhhh. pain. and lol she broke down sleep to its bare essentials ‘breathing with your eyes closed’.

3. ??? coney island: i know it’s a bit of a controversial top three but WHO CARES 🕴this is solely here for ‘AND IM SITTING ON A BENCH IN CONEY ISLAND wondering where did my BABYy GO’ im shaking. my bed is shaking. my body is shaking. my pupils are shaking. THE WAY SHE SINGS IT OH MY GOODNESS ME i have to lie down gimme a sec. ‘and if this is the long haul howd we get here so soon 😟’ SCREAM. and when i was hearing it for the first time and she said ‘sorry for not making you my centerfold’ i was like yeah and?? so what?? and then she hits me with ‘over and over’...... so she didnt make him/her/them her centerfold over and over !!!!!!! she is sorry she didnt do it over and over!!!!!! mannn.... the chorus.. i shall not speak. i am held at gunpoint i CANNOT SPEAK. the bridge tho dhdnsksksjsb I CAN SPEAK AND I SHALL SPEAK. BITCH WENT OFFFFFFFF. <3 this is the apology she deserved from her exes which she never got so she wrote it herself. podium. grey skies. birthday cake. ACCIDENT. im laughingggggggggggg <///3 and yeah so overall it is a really yummy song with yummy vocals and yummy arrangement 9/10 would recommend. also!! life lessons kids life lessons. disappointments? SIMPLY CLOSE YOUR EYES AND PRETEND YOU DO NOT SEE IT YAAAAAAAAAS

2. gold rush: ETHEREAL!!!!!! The last time i felt like this™️ whilst listening to a song was with mirrorball <3 the production of this song omg omg omg LOVE 💃 but what propelled it to number two status was the ‘i dont like slow motion double vision in ROSE BLUSH/ i dont like that falling feels like flying till the BONE CRUSH’ imagine how fucked in the head a person needs to be to rhyme rose blush with bone crush. yeah i have nothing more to say really this song is extremely gorgeous and ‘eyes like sinking ships on water so inviting i almost jumped in’ / ‘walk past quick brush’ ?:!:!&:8483 F A V E <33333 and the transition transmission transfusion from ‘... gray old tea cuz itll never be ᵍˡᵉᵃᵃᵃᵃᵐⁱⁿᵍ ᵗʷⁱⁿᵏˡⁱⁿᵍᵍᵍᵍ’ MADAME

1. champagne problems: are we surprised? ARE WE REALLY SURPRISED? when listening to new albums i normally listen to it at one go in order. i stick to that rule. HOWEVER after many years of my solid album listening self made rule tm i finally broke and immediately replayed this mf song after listening to it once. ‘you had a speech, youre speechless/ love slipped beyond your reaches’???? stfu???? VILE. PUNISHABLE. DEROGATORY. and welp the entire bridge ...... .... ........... what can i say. And the parallels to miss all too well??? WHAT WAS THE REASON???? your SISTER splashed out on the bottle- left my scarf there at your SISTER’s house 😐 she’ll patch up your tapestry that i SHRED- maybe this thing was a masterpiece till you TORE it all up 😐 your MOM’s ring in your pocket- your MOTHER’s telling stories bout you on the tee ball team 😐 November flush and your FLANNEL cure- PLAID shirt days and nights when you made me your own 😐 wHAT A SHAME SHE IS FUCKED IN THE HEAD IS2G........... and also why would she not rhyme POCKET with LOCKET?????? why with wallet???????????? slant rhyme why????????????? AND THE NOTE THIS MF SONG ENDS ON..... FUCKED IN THE HEAD

THATS IT. i really sat here and did this for the past 2 hours huh...... hhdjsms anyways LONG STORY SHORT: I HATE ONE INSANE WOMAN AND HER NAME IS TAYLOR ALISON SWIFT. GODSPEEED 🏃‍♀️

[leah-halliwell92]

Too Much Love Can Kill You

Summary: Soul marks are found through touch and song, one must sing to find their half and touch completes their connection. To reject your mark is to sentence them to death. you have been on tour with Brian, Roger and Rufus for a year and have known them for nearly four. What happens when you find out along the way that you are the mark of one Brian May?

Previously:

Roger saw this and sat back holding back a smirk of his own.

‘Aim, shoot, kill,’ he thought as he saw Brian go from listener and friend to your soul mark.

“So…” Brian began almost jovially, “You’d have willingly taken part in your daughter’s murder?”

–//–Meanwhile with the moms and kids –//–

“Mom…not Brian,” you say as you get up and make a dash for the door.

Rufus gave the women a smirk and followed after his sister.

Your mother exchanged looks with Sarina who not a moment later was staring slack yawed at the doorway.

“She didn’t mean Brian (Mother’s name)…she meant Roger,” Sarina said before she settled on a smirk and said, “Let’s take our time going back down.”

Your mother nodded and arm in arm the women took their time going back to the lounge.

Prologue – Chapter 1– Chapter 2 – Chapter 3 — Chapter 4 – Chapter 5 –Chapter 6 – Chapter 7 – Chapter 8 – Chapter 9 – Chapter 10 – Chapter 11– Chapter 12 – Chapter 13 – Chapter 14 – Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Sarina and your mother bumped into you and Rufus waiting for the elevator. 

“I thought you’d be downstairs by now,” Sarina said with a grin.

Rufus laughed and said, “We want to remember our childhood days and waited for mum like good kids.”

You slapped him playfully on the shoulder and laughed before saying, “She’s been busy for the past few minutes.”

The older ladies nod and the group then start talking about you and how you were as a child.

Sarina was not at all surprised to hear you were more than a handful as a little one. Nor was she surprised to hear that you were all for the underdog as you are now. What she was surprised to hear was about the time the school dean caught you and your friends smoking weed behind the bleachers. 

“It was one time,” you said with a huff, “The high was soooo much better than coming down. People just don’t tell you that when you go for the first hit.”

Rufus nodded at that equally as enlightened by his sister’s history as Sarina is. 

The elevator doors opened and the group still sharing anecdotes here and there about you and your childhood. It was fun to hear some of the stories reminding you that not all was as dark as it seemed. There are definitely some of those you’d tell Brian later; but you need to make sure everyone is alive for that. 

The sound of your phone ringing silenced the chatter. 

Rufus looked at your phone and laughed. 

“What!?” You said hitting him and sliding the phone open to answer it.

“You wouldn’t happen to be on your on your way down would you?” Mr. Carrey asked. 

“I am why?” You say brow furrowed.

“Your father has proceeded to dig is grave deeper,” he said anxiously, “Your mark is attempting to restrain Mr. Taylor as your father explains something to them.”

“The doors are opening I’m on my way,” you say and hang up breaking into a sprint to the hotel’s coffee lounge. You ran in to find Brian nearly siting Roger as the shorter man struggled to lunge over the table at your father. 

“What’s going on here!?” You asked anxiously. 

Roger nodded angrily in your father’s direction. 

Brian resumed his seat and proceeded to pull on on his lap. You could feel his tense frame relax as soon as you sat on his lap. His right hand found its way under your shirt onto the skin of your back and his left your free hand. 

The warmth that seeped through your bond did wonders for the both of you. You relaxed into his embrace nearly melting onto his side and he in return relaxed even more, despite the evident anger and discomfort that still clung to him. 

“I’ll ask again,” you say as you see your mother, Sarina and Rufus come in and retake their seats, “What is going on here?”

“We asked your father quite seriously if he’d have willingly taken part in your murder,” Brian said calmly. 

You weren't fooled. He might look outwardly calm but he is anything but, if how tight his grip on your hand give you a hint. 

“He said that ‘you’d have agreed and that it wasn’t murder if you agreed’,” Roger said through gritted teeth. 

You mother visibly paled at this and shuddered before gathering herself as much as she could and said, “You know as well as I do that she would have never agreed to the union (Father’s Name).”

Your father scoffed and said, “(Y/N) would have done it because it was a fare trade her hand for her education.”

Brian scoffed loudly at this and said, “That is not an answer.”

“So quit hiding behind what you wanted her to do and answer the question,” Roger said cooly. 

Your mother broke into painful sobs before hitting you father again over and over crying out, “You’d have let her die you bastard!”

“What was it?” Roger asked in disbelief, “The free education too much to pass up?”

“No!” Your father yelled as Sarina went to your mother, “She needed to be brought down to earth again. School and marriage would have done that.”

Out of nowhere you began to laugh...and laugh and laugh. Tears began to fall as the realization that yes your father would have practically sold you not only to save face but to prove that that was all you needed to be the type of successful he wanted you to be. 

Brian pulled you closer, as close as your current sitting position allowed, and let you sob as the truth washed over you in icy waves. 

Your mother stood from her seat and ran to you wrapping you in her arms. 

Brian allowed your mother to hold you and give you some time to gather yourself. 

You gently pulled away from your mother and stood up. You took a napkin from the table and wiped your eyes and nose. 

“I think we’re done here,” You say as strongly as you can, “And if you really think I’d have let you sell me then you are wrong. And if there had been the chance of such a union happening the only down to Earth bringing you’d have been privy too would have been my burial.”

“Don’t you talk to your father that way,” Your father said angrily. 

“Oh stop it (Father’s Name),” your mother said, “You wanted to keep her so close to the vest that you’ve yet to realize...”

“You lost me the moment you plotted an arranged marriage between two unmatched individuals so you didn’t have to pay a dime for university schooling,” You finished for her, “Jacob was a good boy, everyone in this town knew he was. But he changed and not for the better. A child needs to see he is loved and have a stable environment for there to be a good upbringing. Jacob’s life was turned upside down when his mother died and Jacob Senior took over both work and raising Jake.”

“And you know as well as I do that Old Jacob is as clinical as they come,” Your mother said voice icy, “That boy...that sweet gentle boy was broken when his mother died and instead of seeking help Old Jacob let that fester and the fact that he is a cold and clinical man did not help that.”

“Dad the fact that he has a record for aggression should have told you everything,” you say quietly. 

This raised everyone’s heads in question and shock. 

“You didn’t think I didn’t keep an eye out for my once best friend?” You said challenging your father, “Jake not only has anger management issues but can be more than a little possessive when it comes to things he considers his.”

“This is what your mother meant when she said that he’d rather see you dead than with someone else,” Rufus said in awe. 

You nodded with a sad look on your face then said, “And it pains me to see that my own father would rather see me dead than happy all because he had a plan and it didn’t go the way he wanted.”

Brian stood and took your hand in his.

You looked up to him and nodded at the silent question asked through the bond. 

“Bye dad it was nice seeing you,” you say shooting him a sad smile before making your way out of the lounge. 

Everyone left sitting stood and followed after you including, to your father’s surprise, your mother. 

It was afternoon already and you needed to get ready to head to the concert hall.

You came to a sudden stop when you felt your phone vibrate you look down at the still locked phone to read that Etta had seen Jake leave the florist and is heading to the hotel. 

“Well isn’t this a surprise,” Brian says with a knowing grin.

“What?” You ask about to put your phone away. 

Brian was faster and took it from you pressing on the home button to show the picture on the front. 

“What! I like that picture,” you say reaching for your phone only to have Brian move to avoid you getting it. 

“What picture?” Roger asked now curious. 

((Picture is above))

“This,” Brian says showing his bro the picture. 

“Well if it isn’t Brianna May in all her glory!” Roger says with a laugh.

“Dad...ring her phone,” Rufus said with a cheeky smirk. 

“Nope!” you say and nearly jump to get the phone back.

This spurred Roger on and you groaned as ‘I’m in Love With My Car’ blared from your phone and a picture of Rogerina popped up.

Rufus was nearly on the floor from how hard he was laughing. 

Sarina and your mother looked on fondly at the moment before breaking into their own peels of laughter. 

“Im so changing the pictures when we get home,” you grumbled as Brian gave you back your phone.

“No need for that my love,” Brian said kissing the crown of your head, “I’m flattered that you’d love me in any way, shape and form.”

You grumbled under your breath and nearly groaned when your mother said, “I’ll have to tell you about her musical crushes, well more like crush, sometime.”

“Oh really?” Roger said with a waggle of his brows and a chuckle from Brian. 

“They don’t need to hear that story mom,” you say trying to dissuade that particular story. 

The light atmosphere seemed to die as soon as an all too familiar voice said, “(Y/N)? Little (First Name) (Last Name) is that you? My God when I heard that you were in town I had to come see for myself.”

You all turn to see Jake Parker standing there with a bouquet of flowers and charming smile. 

–//–

If you wanna be tagged shoot me an ask!!! Thanks for reading don’t forget to like and reblog!!!! Feedback is always appreciated!!

–//–

Tag List: @pansexualqueendarling, @queenattheopera, @brianandthemays, @theborhapboysawakenedmywhatever, @ramibaby, @captain--americanna, @awkwardangelshezza, @avengerraven1023, @danamaleksworld, @pastywhiteperson, @readinghorn, @i-was-born-like-this, @redspecialstardust, @reedusteinrambles, @readinghorn, @subbysharkbabe, @capan-devereaux, @bowieandqueen11, @bellamy1998, @reedusteinrambles, @simply-sams-things, @sincerelygmg, @bleu-jean-baby, @brian-mayonnaise, @0hour9am, @toomuchtellyneck, @kimanne723, @sincereleygmg, @kyleetheeditor, @glamrockmonarch, @rawyld, @queensdivas, @crazylittlethingcalledobsession, @rogertaylorsfalsettogivesmehives, @phoenixqueen07, @ohmybribri​, @jennyggggrrr​, @jd-johndeacon-or-jackdaniels​, @painkiller80​

[searchingwardrobes]

Of Earth and Sea: 8/9

My fic for the 2019 @cssns will drop this Friday, so to celebrate, I’m re-posting my fic from last year (and also because I was a tumblr newbie back then and didn’t post the chapters here, just the link to Ao3)

Gorgeous art by @shipsxahoy!

Also check out the additional art that @cocohook38 made for this chapter here. I flailed like crazy when I saw it the first time! Our Captain Swan family dressed in elvish clothing is brought perfectly to life in her drawing.

Summary: Five years after their wedding, Emma and Killian are ready to start a family. But Emma discovers that raising a family isn't that simple when your husband is a Dunedin (half-elf) and your mother-in-law is neither dead nor alive.

Rated T

Also on Ao3

Tagging:(let me know if you want to be added or removed from this list) @welllpthisishappening @kday426 @jennjenn615 @let-it-raines @snowbellewells @profdanglaisstuff @wellhellotragic @mythologicalmango @xhookswenchx @resident-of-storybrooke @thislassishooked @lovepurplepumpkins

Chapter Seven:

“Lend dreams nin mel

  Glenn-nai i even lands

  Lend songs bo i thul

  Im tur-feel ha in i nen,

  Im tur-feel in i coe,

  Im tur-smel ha in i gwilith”

Tauriel ran her hands soothingly through her little boy’s dark brown hair as he drifted off to sleep in her lap. Every year his hair got a shade darker. When he became a man he would mostly likely have black hair like his father’s. His eyes were already that stunning shade of blue. He still had Tauriel’s freckles, but those seemed to fade as the years went by. She sighed as she watched the eight year old’s eyelashes flutter against his cheeks. Oh, how she hoped her son would choose a different path than that of his father!

It worried her that he had fallen asleep like this. He was so thin and hungry. Life as a slave boy on that ship was much too cruel. A tear slipped down her cheek as she stroked her precious boy’s face. This wasn’t the life she wanted for him. Her heart broke at how she couldn’t even care for her own child. She couldn’t even pass any of her elven strength on to him, since she wasn’t fully alive. She found berries in the forest for him to eat, but what he really needed was lambas bread. Hopefully he would dream deeply enough tonight to find himself in the elven lands, and her people could give him better nourishment. She waved her hand over him and muttered in elvish.

“I polod im-gar, im on-na cin.”

Tauriel let out a relieved breath when some color came back into her son’s cheeks. Using magic in her condition was always a guessing game. One thing was for sure; it wasn’t enough to change her son’s circumstances.

Tauriel heard course words and laughter coming from the clearing on the other side of the trees. She eased Killian gently and swiftly from her lap and into a pile of soft moss. She waved her hand over the child once again.

“Taur, coe; beri-hi hen. Lore, nin red, lore tovon a lor.”

The moss and earth obeyed her command, wrapping Killian like a blanket. The roots of the tree nearby rose up and arched over him. No passerby would guess that a child slept there. Tauriel turned and moved on her soft and soundless feet towards the voices. She almost gasped at what she saw through the cover of leaves.

A man, of dark hair and strong, slender build, had a petite, buxom maiden against a large tree. She was laughing merrily, her head tipped back as the man trailed passionate kisses along her neck. His hand cupped her bosom.

The man was Brennan Jones.

Memories assaulted Tauriel of that painful day when she had found him with another woman. His hands caressing another in the same way he had caressed Tauriel just the day before. His lips drinking in the taste of someone else. It was a jarring image that no one should have to endure. The woman Brennan was with now wasn’t the same one she had caught him with that fateful day. Seemed he was faithful to no one.

Brennan moved to loosen the woman’s laces as she buried her fingers in his hair. He began gasping out, “Loreena! Oh, Loreena!”

Tauriel rolled her eyes as she turned to slip back to get Killian. The last thing the boy needed was to see the wretched man again. Not after the year of misery the poor child had endured. All because Brennan Jones knew nothing of faithfulness and commitment. But before she could take even a step, Brennan’s female companion corrected him.

“My name is not Loreena.”

The coldness of the woman’s voice gave Tauriel pause.

“Sure it is,” Brennan chuckled, flashing the woman that charming smile of his. Only someone who knew him well, like Tauriel, would be able to see the slight nervousness in his eyes. Tauriel bit her lip to keep from chuckling. The man had known so many women, he was bound to have difficulty keeping them all straight.

“No. It is not.” Then the woman transformed right before his eyes. Gone was the head of light brown curls, gone were the petite curves, gone was the upturned, freckled nose. Instead stood a woman of regal bearing, tall, with long, straight raven tresses and milky white skin. Tauriel clapped a hand to her mouth to keep from gasping.

“Carabosse!” Brennan cried. It was the mistress he had taken when wed to Tauriel!

“Yes, it’s me,” the woman replied coldly. “I’m surprised you remembered my name. What was it . . . Margeurite? The blonde you left me for? And you were married to the redheaded elf when you took me as a lover.” She chuckled wryly. “You like a sampling, don’t you?”

Brennan sauntered close to the woman, reaching out to stroke her shiny ebony hair. “Yet none were as exotic as you, Carabosse.”

“Your flattery will get you nowhere, Brennan Jones,” the woman told him, taking a step back. “You should know better than to become entangled with a witch. Especially if you do not plan on being faithful. What is that expression? Ah yes, hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.”

Brennan’s eyes widened and he went suddenly pale. “Come now, Carabosse, surely we can – “ His words were cut off suddenly as he clutched his throat and gasped for breath. He lifted a trembling hand towards the witch for a moment, but then collapsed to the ground.

Carabosse knelt beside him, brushing a lock of hair from his face. “Sleep well, my former lover. Sleep long and fitfully. For I do not think there are any upon this earth who feel any kind of love, much less true love for a despicable man like you.”

She leaned forward and brushed her blood red lips across Brennan’s forehead, then stood. Still looking at the still form at her feet, she called out, “I know you are there, elf.”

Tauriel startled, and quickly began to head back to where Killian lay.

“Show yourself,” Carabosse called after her. As if Tauriel had any intention of doing her bidding. Until the witch added, “I know your son is with you.”

Tauriel froze in her tracks. She shut her eyes tight and pressed her lips together. She couldn’t risk the witch hurting Killian, so she squared her shoulders and stepped out from the copse of trees. Carabosse smiled serenely at her.

“You can thank me,” she told Tauriel, gesturing at the man sprawled upon the forest floor.

“You knew I was here the whole time.”

Carabosse shrugged. “I could have put him down in the room at the tavern. But I sensed your magic in the woods, and I thought to myself, now that would be awfully poetic.”

“So you’re just going to leave him here.”

Carabosse’s eyes widened in surprise. “You worry for his well -being? After the pain he put you through?” The witch gestured at Tauriel’s body, which had begun to fade slightly. “This whole wasting away thing you elves do. Surely you hate him.”

Tauriel looked down at Brennan’s handsome face. He had a way of charming a woman, of making her believe she was the only one so beautiful, so desirable. Looking back, Tauriel realized his praise was always for her beauty: her hair, her eyes, her figure. He never really knew her heart, her soul, or her mind.

“I gave myself to one who was not deserving. I should have opened my eyes before it was too late. And now I pay the price.”

Carabosse spoke with surprising tenderness. “A grieving heart can make desperate decisions.”

Tauriel’s gaze snapped up to the woman’s face, so cold, so seemingly indifferent. Yet there was a tiny bit of softness in her eyes. “H-how did you know?”

Carabosse shrugged. “Word gets around. Especially when it’s an elf and a dwarf. Two races who are supposed to hate each other. Besides,” she inclined her head towards the trees, “you named your son after him.”

This wasn’t a topic Tauriel wished to discuss with a stranger, so she lowered her gaze back to Brennan. “We can’t just leave him here. Between the wild life and the elements, he’ll be killed.”

“You elves,” Carabosse scoffed as she turned to go, “always helping. Always caring too much.”

“It is against our nature to turn our backs on the weak and suffering.”

“You can’t undo my magic.”

Tauriel tilted her head, “I can change it.”

Carabosse rolled her eyes, “Fine, suit yourself. As long as he spends many long years in that red, burning room of torture, it will be enough for me.” And with that, the witch disappeared in a cloud of blood red smoke.

Tauriel worked quickly once the witch had disappeared. Killian’s presence helped her stay corporeal for much longer than normal, but her time, even with her son, was coming to a close. She didn’t have much time left, and she still wanted to see her child back to his ship. So she first erected a protective coffin of sorts from roots and moss. Then she put a protection spell around it, so at least Brennan wouldn’t be eaten by wolves or freeze to death. Then she spoke a spell over him.

“Lore tenna sanda mel hir cin, lore mal an i lumenns-o tindu, lore.”

Essentially, the spell allowed Brennan to awaken during the brief time between twilight and midnight. Most likely, he would only be partially awake, for Carabosse’s magic was powerful. To most, he would appear like a bedridden, sick man, but at least he would be freed from the torture of that horrible red burning room. Tauriel’s counter-spell also allowed the sleeping curse to be broken if Brennan could find a true love. Tauriel rested her hand upon the twisted branches of the make-shift coffin.

“May you find a woman with a heart so pure that she can make yours finally faithful.”

Then she turned to walk back to their son.

****************************************************

The journey from the land of the woodland elves to Rivendell was normally one of many long weeks, so Emma was thankful for the pouch of beans that Anton had given them. She was ready to go immediately, but Killian insisted they stay the night so she could rest.

“Killian, I can’t possibly sleep with Elien still so far away,” she argued.

Killian reached out his hand and cupped her cheek, his expression a mixture of tenderness and concern. “You died earlier, love.”

Emma chuckled wryly as she grasped his hand and kissed his palm. “Only with us is that a normal occurrence.”

“And you will sleep, I can promise you that,” Galadriel told her, “many have come here to be refreshed on their journeys. You will feed on lambas bread and drink of sweet, refreshing springs of water. And by the time you have finished, we will have a bower ready for you.”

Emma pressed her lips together. She had to admit, she was starving and her legs felt like rubber. “Okay,” she finally relented, “but we leave first thing in the morning.”

“With you, that may mean eleven o’clock,” Killian quipped.

Emma smacked him, “So wake me up, sailor!”

He laughed lightly as he pulled her close. “I won’t let you sleep the day away, Swan, I promise. But I will make sure you rest.”

The elven meal they were brought didn’t seem like much: two squares of lambas bread, a wedge of cheese, and a small bowl of wild berries. Yet it satisfied Emma’s hunger completely, and every bite of the lambas bread sent a pleasant warmth all through her. Then she and Killian were escorted up the winding staircase of one of the enormous trees. One of Galadriel’s maidservants opened a door made of birch branches and thick opaque glass. It lead into a room that reminded Emma of both a giant bird’s nest and a domed hut. The bed was sunken into the bowl shaped floor, padded with the softest moss Emma had ever felt and piled high with blankets of soft deer skin. There were also piles of down stuffed pillows woven of silk. Killian told her the elves harvested the silk from the husks of the cocoons that hung in the trees.

Even though they had complete privacy inside their woven bower, the songs of the elves still filtered through.

“Lend dreams nin mel

  Glenn-nai i even lands

  Lend songs bo i thul

  Im tur-feel ha in i nen,

  Im tur-feel in i coe,

  Im tur-smel ha in i gwilith”

“It’s the same song you sing to Elien,” Emma said with a yawn as she curled up beneath the blankets.

“Aye, love,” Killian replied as he lay down behind her, wrapping her in his arms and pulling her close until she was tucked under his chin, “elvish lullabies. It’s why we know you will sleep long and deep.”

“You said we,” Emma said drowsily, her words beginning to slur, “I thought you didn’t like being called an elf.”

“Sometimes I don’t mind,” he answered, his own voice fading into sleep.

Emma turned in his arms to rest her cheek against his chest. Between his warmth, the rise and fall of his chest, and the song of the elves, fighting the pull of sleep was impossible. I feel almost like the bower is rocking gently, was her last thought before she drifted off, like sleeping on the Jolly Roger . . .

********************************************************

Elien Jones sat at the edge of the pool of water, gathering sticks and smooth, colorful pebbles. The mist from the waterfall that spilled into the pool dampened her strawberry blonde hair, curling the wisps that framed her face. She gnawed on her lower lip in concentration the way her mother often did.

“Is that a fairy house you’re building?” Elrond asked her kindly.

“No,” Elien answered simply, shaking her head. She picked up a waxy leaf and carefully stuck the largest stick through its center. Then she flipped over the sticks she had woven together and pushed the tall stick with the leaf through the center. “It’s a pirate ship,” she explained.

Tauriel pressed her fingers to her lips to suppress a smile as Elrond frowned. She schooled her features then turned to the eldest council member imploringly. “I beg of you to reconsider this plan. Elien is a special little girl. She doesn’t belong here.”

“Of course she’s special!” Elrond exclaimed. “The daughter of the savior, a product of true love, and a Dunedin? She is the perfect match for my grandson in every way. And one day, they will rule our people. United and strong once again.”

Tauriel shook her head wearily. “That’s not what I meant. Her magic is bigger than the elves, bigger even than her mother’s destiny. I have seen it. To keep her here would be like . . . trapping a majestic Eagle in a cage.”

Elrond gazed at her with furrowed brow, “They would rule more than just the elves then, a united kingdom of men and elves. A mighty force for good, for peace.”

Tauriel scowled openly. “Her destiny is more than preserving bloodlines. More than who she will wed.”

Tauriel turned away from the elf to go to her granddaughter. She watched as Elien pushed the little boat gently into the water. It promptly sank. She tilted her golden head for a moment, then lifted both hands towards the water. Her magic pulsed forth, the water bubbled, and the little boat popped back up on the surface. A shimmer swirled around it, and then it bobbed merrily along until it disappeared in the mist at the base of the waterfall.

“What a lovely ship,” Tauriel told the girl as she knelt next to her and wrapped an arm over her shoulder.

Elien smiled as she gazed into the mist, dimples appearing in both cheeks. Tauriel brushed the child’s hair back from her face, her heart aching at how much the child looked like Killian at times. He argued that she looked like her and Emma. But Tauriel often felt she was looking far into the past as she gazed into the little girl’s face.

“Effie,” Elien said, turning to her grandmother with a furrowed brow and a serious expression, “I knew you would come.”

Tauriel smiled as she cupped the child’s face in her hands. “Of course I did. And your mama and papa are coming too. We came to save you.”

Elien’s gaze drifted to the ground, the long lashes she had inherited from Killian brushing the tops of her cheeks. “No. You didn’t. I’m the one who will save you.”

Tauriel’s eyes widened in confusion. “Why do you say that, child?”

Elien’s mossy green eyes looked full of wisdom beyond her years as she held her grandmother’s gaze. “I have seen it in my dreams.”

**************************************************

Killian’s suggestive grin as he helped Emma up after they crashed through the portal was more irritating than attractive. Since she was more focused on dusting herself off and picking leaves out of her hair.

“What?” she snapped, then immediately sighed as she rubbed at a bruise on her elbow, “I’m sorry, babe. I’m just on edge and, you know, slightly battered.”

Killian’s gaze softened as he rubbed her arms gently. “I know, my love, no offense taken. I was merely admiring this look on you.” He then pressed a lingering kiss to her cheek.

Emma smiled and blushed even as she shrugged. “Guess I’d make a good elf, huh?”

Killian’s eyes took in the dress of rich burgundy velvet with gold trim. Emma’s fair skin was milky white in contrast, and the gold brought out the honey-colored hues in her hair. Lambas bread always made skin and hair brighter, but Emma’s seemed to positively radiate light. Her hair was held back from her face in the traditional elven way, braided in loose knots. Emma lifted her hand to pat the braids gingerly.

“These aren’t literally knots are they?” she asked hesitantly, “Cause that would be a pain in the ass to comb out.”

Killian blinked, not really sure what she was saying, more distracted at the shape of her arms as the wide sleeves of the dress slipped down to her elbow. The movement also gave him a peek of her cleavage against the scooped neckline. Emma just laughed and shook her head.

“You can take this dress off me later, pirate, let’s go get our little girl.”

The portal had deposited them only a half hour’s walk away from the borders of Rivendell, so they didn’t have far to go. Killian’s elven senses directed them, and they walked in silence for a few moments. Emma glanced his way, admiring the soft leather breeches he wore beneath the green tunic cinched at his waist. Over that he wore a cloak of lighter brown, edged in bright green thread. He had grumbled when the elves brought the garments to him, but in the end he had to admit that his jeans and leather jacket were not only worse for wear after the run in with the spiders, but weren’t warm enough for the woods they would be traveling through. Emma liked him in the outfit; she swore it made those ears she loved so much seem more pointed, made the flecks of green in his eyes more pronounced. Of course, she honestly liked him in just about anything. Captain Hook, “Prince Charles,” Killian Jones of Storybrooke, or Killian the Dunedin, he was all of those things to her. And she loved every part of him. He glanced her way and arched a brow.

“Admiring something, love?” he teased.

“Always,” she told him, grasping his hook in her hand. She didn’t let go as they made their way along, and finally worked up the courage to ask him something she had been wondering for quite some time. “Killian? Why did your mother stay away so long?”

He stopped abruptly. “What do you mean?”

Emma wet her lips nervously. “When she showed up right before our wedding, you said you hadn’t seen her since right before the curse was cast. That was a long time, and I thought she was cursed to wander after the one she loves most. So . . . “

Killian clenched his jaw, his eyes darting, landing anywhere but on Emma’s face. “I’m sure she was around, but . . . “ he finally met Emma’s eyes, releasing a long breath, “I told her I never wanted to see her again.”

Emma’s brow furrowed. “But why? What did she do?”

Killian lowered his head as shame washed over his face. “She did nothing. It’s what I did. The last time I saw her . . . it was also . . . the last time I saw my father.”

Emma’s eyes widened as she put it all together. “Oh.”

Killian ran his hand wearily over his face. “I was leaving that hut, leaving my father there cold on the ground, and there she was. She looked so . . . distraught. She begged me not to leave my little brother alone. Said she knew it would haunt me.”

Emma stepped closer, cupping his face in her hands. “Hey. Look at me. I’ve heard this story, remember? It didn’t change how I felt about you then, and it still doesn’t now.”

Killian nodded, blinking away shameful tears, and turned his face to kiss her palm. Then he grasped one of her hands with his and laced their fingers together. “I responded to my mother in the only way I could at the time – with anger and rage. I already was ashamed of what I had done, but I wasn’t about to let her know that. So I told her I had finally done what she never had courage to – I made our father pay for all of his crimes. I never saw my mother weep like that. How could I ever look her in the eye again? After what I had done? After I had become so dark?”

“And that’s why you told her you never wanted to see her again.”

Killian nodded. “And she honored my request. But I’ve always wondered. If it was because she – stopped loving me. That I had become such a villain that even she couldn’t love me.”

Emma shook her head as she drew closer. “I have heard your mother talk about you enough to know that could never happen.”

“My father’s love had its limits. Why not hers?”

Emma kissed him softly, first on the lips then on his nose, then each cheek. She then wrapped her arms around him, pressing her lips to his collar bone. “Because she’s your mother,” Emma whispered against his skin, “nothing could ever make me stop loving Henry or Elien.” She pulled back to look into his eyes again. “And she’s so much like you. You could never stop loving any of us either. It just isn’t in your nature; and it isn’t in hers.”

Killian stroked her cheek, a peace settling over his features. “In my heart, I know you’re right. That’s why I just can’t believe that she would take the Arkenstone.”

Emma took a step back, tugging lightly on his hook. “When have we ever let fate determine our future? This family fights for each other, sees the best in each other. I really don’t give a shit what you’re grandmother’s pool says.”

Killian chuckled as he walked alongside his wife. “That’s the Emma I love.”

*****************************************************

Emma had to admit that the towering waterfalls of Rivendell were a sight to behold. And she understood now what Killian meant about the air here. It strengthened her as she breathed it in, and the light seemed . . . not brighter, but more rich, making every color more vibrant.

Yet she cared little about her surroundings once a familiar voice cut through the air. “Mama! Papa!”

She and Killian’s elven escorts, though armed, were no match for their determination to go to their daughter. They both shoved the guards aside heedlessly as they dashed through the doorway into Elrond’s throne room. They then fell to their knees as they gathered Elien into their arms, peppering her with kisses. Killian had been right; the elves had taken good care of their little girl. She was well fed, and even seemed happy. And Emma had to admit she looked adorable in her tiny elven dress of lavender and silver.

“Can we go home?” Elien asked with a frown as she pulled away.

“Of course we can, cygnet,” Killian told her as he scooped her up.

“This should be her home,” Elrond spoke up, “with her people.”

Emma marched right up to the elf and without hesitation punched him in the jaw. “That’s for kidnapping my child. And for the record, her people are in Storybrooke.”

“But elven blood runs through her veins.”

“Well, so does human blood,” Emma snapped back.

“The fate of her people hang in the balance!” Elrond shouted. “We’re talking about the greater good!”

“And I’m talking about what’s best for Elien!” Emma was in the elf’s face now. “I know what it’s like to sacrifice having a family for the greater good. My daughter won’t suffer the same thing.”

“Then you and your husband can stay here,” Elrond argued, more calmly now.

“I don’t think your listening,” Emma seethed, “we’re taking her back to Storybrooke where she has grandparents and an uncle and godparents and friends.”

“I’m afraid it isn’t your decision.”

“Says who? I’m her mother.”

“Enough!” Tauriel shouted. It was the loudest Emma had ever heard her speak. “Elien is my granddaughter, not a pawn.”

“Besides,” Killian interjected, “it isn’t the elven way to keep a child against her will.”

Elrond’s brow furrowed and his eyes narrowed before he lifted his hand and snapped his fingers. His royal guard rushed into the room on their silent elven feet, their arrows making a soft, yet eerie swishing sound as they pulled them from their quivers in perfect synchronization and notched them to their bows.

“I stand corrected,” Killian muttered. He set Elien down gently. “Get behind me, little love.”

Emma inched her way over and she and Killian kept their daughter safely sandwiched between them.

“I don’t want to threaten you,” Elrond said.

“Could have fooled me,” Emma replied sarcastically.

“Elrond, you can’t seriously be considering forcibly removing a child from her parents,” Tauriel argued, “this isn’t the elven way!”

“Not the elven way?” Elrond snapped. “Soon the ways of our people will die out. More and more of our youth are leaving these lands, intermarrying with the race of men. Our magic is weakening, our lands dying.”

Tauriel laid a gentle hand on his arm. “Then perhaps it’s time we joined the race of men instead of keeping ourselves apart.”

Elrond’s face contorted with grief and sadness. “You sound like my daughter. My precious Arwen who will suffer your fate when her true love dies.”

“That’s what this is really about, isn’t it?” Tauriel asked gently. “Giving her a bloodline that will help her hold on as I have done.”

Killian exchanged a look with Emma, and then he stepped forward slowly, pulling the Arkenstone from the satchel at his hip. “If I may, my Lord, offer an alternative?”

“The Arkenstone!” Elrond breathed, reaching for it with a trembling hand.

Killian pulled it back against his chest. “Aye. The stone that will take away your daughter’s immortality. In exchange for my little girl, of course.”

Elrond’s eyes flashed. “Or my army takes it by force.”

“Or I take it!”

Every eye in the room turned in shock at the sound of the small voice. Elien Jones stood in the middle of the throne room, her green eyes flashing fire, magic tingling between her fingertips. She raised her hand towards her father, and the Arkenstone flew into her hand.

“What are you doing!” Elrond screamed, racing forward. Elien flung her hand, and Elrond was frozen in place.

Emma and Killian shouted their daughter’s name, but they found they were frozen in place as well. The stone pulsed an even brighter red in the little girl’s hand. Emma lifted frantic eyes to her husband, but he looked just as frightened as she did.

“Elien, honey,” Tauriel said gently, easing down on her knees in front of her granddaughter, “you need to put the stone down.”

“No, Effie,” Elien said in her little girl voice, “it’s meant for you.”

Elien placed the stone into Tauriel’s palm, then she placed her tiny hands over her grandmother’s. Magic sparked, and snaking red lines poured forth from the stone, enveloping Tauriel. When it cleared, she collapsed to the ground, and the stone rolled across the floor. It was no longer red, but a dull glassy color. Elien released her hold on the others, and Killian and Emma raced to Tauriel’s side.

“Mother,” Killian said gently, helping her up to a seated position.

She moaned and held her head, and Killian grasped her arms, half laughing in disbelief as he squeezed her shoulders, then her hands between his. She hadn’t felt so solid since he was a tiny lad.

“You’re . . . you’re . . . “

Tauriel put her chest to her heart. “I’m mortal.” She reached up and cupped Killian’s face in her hands, marveling at the stubble beneath her palms. Her little boy, all grown up, and she could finally really, truly feel him. “Oh my precious, precious boy.”

Killian embraced his mother then, holding her tightly as he hadn’t been able to in so many long centuries. Tears filled Emma’s eyes as she watched them. Elien flung her arms around both her papa and her Effie. Tauriel turned to her granddaughter and peppered her face with kisses. Then they yanked Emma in for a group hug.

“The stone chose you.”

The Jones family looked up to see Elrond standing over them. Emma smiled at Killian.

“Galadriel didn’t see your mother taking the stone, she saw Elien giving it to her.”

Tauriel shook her head. “But why? Why me?”

Elrond reached out and took Tauriel’s hand, helping her to her feet. “Because of the many long years of sacrifice for your son. You have earned your rest, Tauriel of the Woodland Elves.”

She turned to her son, her daughter-in-law, and her granddaughter. “And I know just where I’ll spend my final years.”

[fueledbysprite]

Nathmarc November Day 9: Dance

oh look im alive

also rip my formatting screw you tumblr

Graduation.

They’ve all been waiting for this day for years, and yet now that it’s finally come, none of them really know how to feel about it. A strange mix of relief, regret, apprehension, and nostalgia hangs in the atmosphere, but a party is a party and they’re not going to waste their last day together as the graduating class of Collège Françoise Dupont. Tonight is the night for one last stab at making memories, before it’s all compressed, packed into a box, and shoved away to make headspace for lycée.

And making the most of it seems to be what everyone is determined to do tonight. Chloe, still on her awkward way to redemption, reserved the most luxurious hall at Le Grand Paris hotel, the effort into decoration and venue for this final night together is obvious. Nino has a mix ready for just this occasion, a playlist to highlight the interesting mixture of emotions that everyone’s going through at this point. Adrien and Marinette, the ever-iconic couple, have already initiated the couples dances, and Ivan and Mylene don’t take long to join them. Rose and Juleka are slightly more hesitant, then Kim runs to the floor with Ondine in one hand and Max in the other.

All while Nathaniel Kurtzberg and his fabulously aromantic best friend hang around by the snack bar, awkwardly watching the pairs (or, in Kim’s case, trio) dance it up on the center floor.

This is the last night, this is the last night, just one last night, Nathaniel repeats it over and over to himself under his breath, but his legs won’t move and his body is too stubborn to ask them to. They’ve been collaboration partners for goodness knows how long by now, but the exact dynamic of their relationship hangs in mid-air, not quite certain in any direction. He is an amazing friend, that part is certain, but is he more? And if he is, how much more? Nathaniel stares at the other side of the room, where the subject of his suppressed dilemma is currently engaged in conversation with Juleka’s older brother.

Marc, Nathaniel softly says his name out loud. That’s who his eyes are on tonight, and as uncertain as he’s convinced himself he is right now, the decisive voice in the back of his head is growing louder and he can’t keep denying it for much longer. No, he knows exactly what he wants tonight, what he’s been subconsciously wanting and hoping and dreaming and wishing for for months, now, but for all he is, he can’t find the right words. To be fair, he never could, not even after a childhood of growing up on comic books, he couldn’t word them himself. That’s what Marc was good at, wasn’t it? Too bad the one time he really, desperately needed Marc’s help with words was the one time he couldn’t.

Alix isn’t helping. At all. He glances over at her for support probably the umpteenth time tonight, but she’s resolutely ignoring him and instead occupying herself with taking a video of Kim’s antics on the dance floor. He already knows what she’d say even if he hadn’t driven her up a wall already with his panicked lament. She’d look him straight in the eye, draw herself up to full height, and, with a completely deadpan expression, say, “Just. Do it.” And he would go off blabbering about how badly he wanted to but just couldn’t and, well, yeah he really can’t blame Alix for resorting to giving him the cold shoulder at this point.

So he’s alone. He takes a slow sip of his shocking purple punch and cautiously chances another glance at Marc. Nathaniel sighs. Last night, last chance, final call…

***

Marc casually glances away from Luka for 0.1 seconds and immediately snaps his gaze back to the guitarist. He couldn’t be imagining it at this point, Nathaniel has definitely been watching him for the last how long had it even been now? He nods along to whatever Luka was saying, smiling with interest, but not really processing any of it. How could he, when his mind has been monopolized by someone else for at least the entirety of today. It’s his last chance to confess, last time he’ll probably ever have to tell Nath how he’s really felt towards him for the past year or so- it makes him scrunch up and hide his head in his hands just from the thought of it.

Well, to be fair, that isn’t entirely true, either. It’s not like they’re going to be attending different lycées or anything, but they aren’t taking the same courses and the chance they’ll actually be in the same class for any of them is pretty low. What Marc’s really most afraid of, even though he’s never going to ever admit to anyone in a million, bajillion years (and yes that is totally a word), is that Nath is inevitably going to end up in a much bigger fish pond than this small collège. And bigger means more people. And if someone new meets him and discovers how amazing Nathaniel really is and then start to feel towards him like Marc does- it makes his stomach twist that this thought has even occurred to him at all, and even moreso that Nathaniel really isn’t his and he has no right to feel possessive of him like this. Being able to even just be his collaboration partner, be producing the scripts to the comics whose concept art he’s only ever admired from afar, having his literal name on the literal front page of the comic books for all to see, he feels guilty for wanting more in spite of it all. Isn’t that human nature, to only ever crave more and yearn and hunger, never to be truly fulfilled? It’s not a nice feeling, but he’s wanted Nath for so, so long, and if he has a chance and loses it he doesn’t know what he’d do with himself.

And of course, the cherry on top of his anxiety, does Nath even feel the same way?

Marc doesn’t even notice himself absentmindedly picking at his nail polish, redone by Luka himself just for tonight, until Luka waves his hand in front of Marc’s face and asks him if he’s okay.

“You seem kind of out of it,” Luka says, and Marc whips his stare away from the either oblivious or now-self-conscious redhead on the opposite end of the room.

“I’m fine,” Marc assures him quickly, cheeks warming.

“Hey Luka, mind if I steal Marc for a second?” Marinette’s innocent voice comes out of nowhere and Marinette herself suddenly materializes next to Marc.

“Go right ahead,” Luka tells her, winking, and she giggles softly before dragging Marc away. Marc’s mind only strays from Nathaniel to briefly wonder what’s up between Marinette and Luka, but he doesn’t dwell on it for long at all, not when there are far more pressing matters to be addressed. Thankfully his mind zips back to the moment just in time to catch Marinette before she goes too far.

“Stop it right there,” he stops her, and she complies. “I know exactly what you’re doing and I’m not going to let you go any further.”

She looks at him in half-hearted exasperation and frustration.

“If I don’t help you get from Point A to Point B, who is?” she points out.

“I can do it myself,” he says hastily, and she raises an eyebrow that most obviously says “oh, really?”

“I can!” he repeats defensively, and Marinette laughs.

“I’m just teasing, you know that, of course. But really, are you sure you can?” she challenges, and he swallows. “See, told you! Trust me, I can help you, and I know just what to do,” she winks.

If anything, that makes him less at ease.

“No,” he refuses flatly. “I can do it myself and I’ll prove it,” he decides, reasoning that anything is better than another one of Marinette’s failed ploys.

Marinette, bless her heart, may be well-intending, but she was not very good at wingwomaning.

Which was how he ended up here, staring at the floor, heart sinking like he was walking to his own execution, breathing shallow, his mind ceasing to function but his mouth managing to move just enough to whisper words of encouragement to his pitiful self.

“Just put one...foot...in front...of another...” he mutters softly. It works. Too well, apparently, because he ends up in front of Nathaniel a lot sooner than he’d have ideally liked to.

Nathaniel looks up in surprise.

“Oh, hi, M-” But he doesn’t get to finish because Marc knows that if he doesn’t do this now, he never will again.

“Will you dance with me,” he says, voice just above a breath.

“S-sorry?” Nathaniel asks, eyes widening. Marc sets his resolve even more solid and takes a deep breath.

“Will you dance with me?” he repeats, fully aware that the mix is transitioning to the last couples song on the track. It’s now or never.

“Y-yes?” Nathaniel manages to stutter out, and Marc feels himself deflate and soar up with relief at the same time.

They’re both a little shaky walking up to the dance floor. Even more awkward trying to figure out how to go about this. Nath ultimately takes the lead, placing one of Marc’s hands on his own, Marc placing the other on the redhead’s shoulder himself. The first steps are uncomfortable as heck, but they make do, avoiding looking at each other at all cost. At some point, Nathaniel feels a sudden surge of adrenaline and breaks their hold on either to tilt Marc’s chin up, looking him right in the eye.

Their steps become smoother, almost fluid, as their bodies move without thinking, without sensing, practically floating on a fluffy cotton cloud of bliss. They’re lost in each other’s gaze for heavens knows how long, and when the song finally slows to a finale, it feels like it’s been forever in a blink. They jerk back to reality, staggering off the dance floor, nothing short of euphoria in the air. Alix is applauding, and Marinette, and Adrien and Rose and Juleka too. The others don’t seem to have noticed anything, but the world has flipped almost upside down for Marc and Nathaniel.

“So, I guess it’s a little late to ask this, but, uh...you want to be my boyfriend?” Nathaniel asks shyly, cheeks flushed with happiness.

Marc doesn’t even bother giving him a reply, instead tackling him in an embrace, kissing him on the cheek for the sake of holding back. Someday there’ll be a day for a real first kiss, but today isn’t it, and Marc doesn’t care at this point.

They’re boyfriends. They’re happy. And collège is finally over. The only reasonable thing to do tonight is celebrate the heck out of this evening. The first few lyrics of Panic! at the Disco’s Victorious float over from Nino’s DJ Booth, and party the night away they do indeed.

[bbbb-barnes]

Look After You - Bucky Barnes X Reader [2]

 A/N OKAY HI!! (I’m Elle by the way) Quick one just to let you know this is my secondary blog, im pretty new to Tumblr not sure how it works tbh but you can reach me here orrrr @jbbtraash with is my primary but ill keep the fic coming on this account. If you like this please let me know I love feedback and would love to get to know some of you so thank you if you’ve reacted to the first chapter it means the world!! This fic is a slow burn but will be introducing some of your favourite avengers characters in the next chapt so hold tight.

Summery; Bucky Barnes discovers his sister is still alive and finds comfort in the endearing nurse that cares for his dying sibling 

Chapter 1 

Warnings; mention of dementia (??) angst, crying 

Word count; 1770 

The harrowing feeling of looking around for help in an overwhelming situation only to realise YOU are the person who is supposed to know what to do is truly terrifying. The woman was 86 years old and had stage 3 Dementia and was hysterical because she thought, no she was adamant a highly trained assassin that had recently obliterated the United Nations building was her brother that had died in 1943. As utterly absurd as it all sounded, something deep down wanted you to believe this woman and as you looked into her eyes, filled with utter confusion, pure shock and probably the scariest shimmer of hope, one you had never seen before as she begged you to help her find him, begged you to help her bring her Bucky home, finally.

 That was a month ago, one whole month. You promised to Rebecca you would help her, you didn’t know why seen as all your professional training has steered you away from humouring the seemingly crazy ideals dementia patients got into their heads. You could lose your damn job, she told you not to tell her children as it would only worry them, and you knew better than to tell your supervisors at work. You were trying to be coy, you didn’t let on to Becca you were helping just as much as you were because that really would get her hopes up, however you had found yourself getting progressively more and more invested in this mystery as certain things began to unravel. Thankfully day to day didn’t change, you still did your due diligence to care for this woman day in and day out. These days she just asked more about him which made you cringe and try to answer as diplomatically as possible. Truth be told Rebecca’s mental state was rapidly deteriorating and you were quickly searching for an answer before she ran out of time. One thing was for sure, that man was Bucky Barnes. The news report even released his name James Buchanan Barnes and comparing the grainy CCTV photograph to the watermarked, old photograph of Bucky Rebecca kept in a frame by her bed proved it clear as day, it was the same person.

“Okay Rebecca, that’s me finished for today do you need anything before I head home?” I asked softly popping my head around her bedroom door. She was bundled up in the blankets I had thrown over her just 10 minutes previous in an attempt to protect her from the freezing cold November air that you just could not seem to escape from. Her bedroom light was off and the garish room, filled with pink frills, even more pictures and a rather large, obnoxious vanity was lit dimly by the pink bedside lamp. The old lady grasped an old book between her weathered hands and smiled vacantly up at you.

“Oh, Mother, come here please, read for me?” Her voice, much like her eyes, was distant and pleading, imitating that of a small child you sighed sadly before stepping into the light of the room, rounding the small space in a few steps and sitting by her on the rosy pink bedspread, this was not uncommon anymore and it was almost always at night time. It always surprised you however, that she couldn’t remember what she did 10 minutes ago but her she recalled her childhood with crystal clarity even reverting back to that same, scared child sometimes when the darkness hit…

“Rebecca, It’s me. Y/N I am your nurse.” You spoke firmly and clearly to her your voice holding familiarity that you hoped she would notice and clutching her cold hands. You looked deep into her eyes, willing her to come back to you.

“Mama, where are we? shouldn’t we get to the shelter the telegram said there’s another one due tonight” her distant voice more panicked now, her head whipped around the room, her face etched with confusion and worry, and you could just tell by her eyes, she wasn’t here right now. She started scrambling at the various blankets that caged her in attempting to get up, her movements jerky and urgent. You stayed calm, you always had to stay calm. You placed your hands softly and slowly on her shoulders, guiding her back towards the bed. She looked utterly lost and it broke your heart.

“Rebecca Barnes. You are safe. I am here with you, I won’t let anything happen to you. I’ll look after you” you repeated those words over and over until your voice didn’t sound like your own and the words didn’t sound real anymore tucking her back in to bed, tenderly smoothing down her soft hair. Calm tone of voice. Repetitive actions. Soothing nature.

 You left the house one hour and forty minutes later than usual however if it was up to you, you wouldn’t have left at all. You hated leaving her especially these days when she was becoming a danger to herself but ‘company policy’. You huffed and pulled your large coat tighter around your frame, loose tendrils of hair dancing around your face in the bitter wind, you hurried down the badly lit road and felt relief flood your senses as you quickly rounded on to a lighter and busier street with people whisking past you, arms full of shopping bags and you made a mental note to start Christmas shopping soon. It was 9:30pm but consumerism stops for no man and the multiple store fronts that littered the long road twinkled and gleamed with the achingly bright Christmas lights. You slowed your brisk walk down to a stroll and allowed yourself to take in the festive atmosphere, you reached the end of the street and stood idly by the bus stop allowing yourself a moment to just breathe, you closed your eyes and leaned your head back against the metal pole of the bus stop for a few golden, silent minutes, you shivered as a vivacious gust of wind and an obnoxious squealing of tires signalled the arrival of the bus and you jumped back up again thankful for the opportunity for some slight warmth.

 The bus home was uneventful and boring, and you jumped off at your stop, ecstatic to be so close to a shower, some food and your bed. You almost sprinted the block that separates the bus stop and your apartment block, your sneakers squeaking against the linoleum of the stairs as you took two at a time because the elevator was broken again. Three floors up and you arrived at your destination unlocking the door with freezing and fumbling fingers you almost threw yourself inside emitting a loud sigh as you did so your back pressed against the front door. Finally. It wasn’t much, but it was home, the apartment had a shared kitchen and living area and was all open plan, one door led off to your bedroom which was cosy to say the least and another door adjacent to your bedroom housed a big bathroom. You had filled the place with blankets, cushions, candles, fairy-lights and pretty much anything and everything to make the place homelier.

 “Rufus” You called out in a sickly sweet baby voice, crouching down and squinting around the large room and on command your very large and very fluffy ginger rag-doll cat Rufus came slinking out from under one of the many throw cushions positioned on the sofa, he plodded his way over to you and purred at all the attention you were giving him.

 An hour later, you were showered, fed and warm. You had Rufus cuddled up to your side and a movie you weren’t paying attention to playing on the TV. Your mind was in overdrive as it had been non-stop for the past month, chewing on your lip you pulled your laptop towards you opening it up to the last web page you had visited.

“Captain America and the notorious Winter Soldier fought side by side in elite World War Two special unit ‘The Howling Commandos’ sources say the pair share the same ‘Super Solider Serum’ famously injected into Mr Steven Rogers”

You had done the reading, you had done the research, this had been your night time routine for a whole month. Your eyes fell on the tatted black notebook that lay carelessly strewn on the coffee table in that book was everything you knew about James Buchanan Barnes, from when he was born, to when he ‘died’, leaked files from his years as a HYDRA agent, Captain America’s best friend and now taking up camp in the shiny new avenger building in New York. Rufus let out a soft meow beside you.

 “Yeah, I know buddy, I’m going insane” you sighed, scratching behind his ears.

 Your eyes drifted to the window and instantly fell on the distant, ostentatious silver building that was ‘Avengers HQ’ you raked a hand through your hair in frustration, if you knew one thing for sure it was that you needed to talk to Steve Rogers, he would know what to do however, you knew getting hold of Captain America wouldn’t be easy but it was proving to be frankly impossible. You had tried everything, you called and he didn’t take phone calls, apparently he doesn’t take meetings with random strangers, certainly doesn’t answer his emails (though you’re not sure if he even knows what an email is), you even turned up, at the tower and demanded to see him but you just got escorted away by security in the front lobby. So technically they had led you, forced you into this, you stared nervously at the white name badge you had placed neatly on the coffee table by the notebook. You had booked a day off work and somehow convinced Tony Stark’s administrative team you were an interested investor looking for a stake in Stark Industries, and it had taken a month to be invited to group guided tour of the tower to assess assets and talk numbers. All you needed to do was break away from the group, find Captain America convince him to help you find your dying patients brother, who happened to be his best friend, who happened to be a brain washed assassin, in a place full of high tech security and enhanced individuals. You groaned and threw your head back against the sofa your stomach turning with the nerves and your head swirling with all the possible things that could go wrong as you fingers massaged your temples.

You clambered into bed and set your alarm for 7:30am you let your head sink back into the fluffy pillows and shut your eyes in a feeble attempt to try and get some sleep. Tomorrow was going to be an eventful day.

Tag List (Let me know if you want to be added) 

@mizz-kraziii

[joshpup]

To Love Or Not To Love // Pt. 9

Intro // Pt. 1 // Pt. 2 // Pt. 3 // Pt. 4 // Pt. 5 // Pt. 6 // Pt. 7 // Pt. 8 // Pt. 9 // Pt. 10 // Pt. 11 // Pt. 12 // Pt. 13 // Pt. 14 // Pt. 15 // Pt. 16 // Pt. 17 Word Count: 2,560 Genre: Svt Mafia Au Member: Mingyu TW:  Angst, Cursing, Violence, mention of blood, eventually fluff. idk about tw if there is one i should add pls let me know im bad at them

“No one else has told you yet?” Joshua asked, plucking a section from the clementine and popping it in his mouth.

“I’ve heard things here and there, but no one’s bothered to give me the full story. They all said that was something for you to tell me.” you explained. Joshua nodded.

“There’s no point in keeping it from you, besides we are kind of in the same boat if you haven’t figured out yet.” He said, leaning back in his chair. “Do you want the short version of the long version?”

“Whichever you think is best.”

“I’ll try to keep it on the shorter side then, but no promises.” Joshua said, adjusting his seat before going into the tale.

“So, I lived a pretty well-off childhood. I spent most of it with my mom, because my dad was always in and out of the house on his so called ‘business trips.’ Only later did I find out that he was actually a part of a gang, and actually held a pretty high up position in that gang. He’d managed to keep it well hidden from me, so well hidden that even after they got me, I didn’t know what was going on. Apparently, my dad rubbed the wrong group the wrong way, and to retaliate they came after me.

“I was on my way to school one day when this group of people showed up and started chasing me. I didn’t even know what was going on but I just ran for my life. I was able to outrun them for a little, but well, as you can tell I didn’t get all the way fast enough. They ended up cornering me and then managed to knocking me unconscious, and before I knew it I was being held hostage at the base camp of one of the most infamous gangs to this day. At the time however they were still growing, but they were big enough to seriously give my dad some issues. Honestly, I’m not sure how hard my dad tried to get me back, I’ve not heard or seen him since that day they pulled me off the street.

“My living conditions were almost a hundred times worse than yours. Rather than just letting me adjust in with their daily life like we have for you, they just threw me in one of the empty rooms and almost never let me out. And if they did let me out, it never ended up being a plus for me. I’d usually end up going back to that room in worse condition then when I left. I somehow managed to stay alive for maybe a year? Time was never a concept in that room for me. I didn’t even have a window, let alone a clock. When one of the gang members would get extremely bored they’d come and mess around with me, but after a while I finally just stopped responding to everything, partly from lack of energy, partly because I simply didn’t care anymore, they soon lost interest in that. Thankfully the oldest member of the gang was decent enough to make sure I would at least get one meal a day, but he never bothered to stop any of the other guys from beating me up just for their amusement. However, I think once they realized that my dad wasn’t going to risk his entire gang just for to get me back, they soon forgot about me, and the meals became less and less.

“On top of all this, I tried to escape a few times, which only pissed them off more. I’m surprised they didn’t just kill me off after the second time I tried to run off. I never did make it very far… The furthest was to the front lawn, but the base was located somewhere in the middle of the woods, so even if I did make it away from them, I wouldn’t have the strength to travel all the way through the woods and get help. No matter what I was going to do, I was going to end up dead. I had pretty much accepted my fate when Jeonghan suddenly showed up.

“Apparently one of the members from the gang that had captured me was feeling extra blind that day and thought Jeonghan was a member from one of their branch groups when he found Jeonghan snooping around their base. Thanks to that, Jeonghan was able to use it to his advantage and get further into their base. He never did tell me what he was doing at their base, but when he suddenly slipped into my dark room and realized I was there, barely holding on, his entire mission changed. Honestly, I barely even remember what happened that night. Jeonghan had to carry me out on his back, and I remember hearing gunshots, so we must have just barely escaped. Jeonghan brought me back here, and I basically went into captivity, part two, but this time around was much nicer. Naturally Seungcheol had the same reaction as when Mingyu brought you. The only difference was he thought that I wasn’t going to last very long given the state I arrived in, and let me stay. Ah, I had so many broken bones and was so malnourished it took me so long to get back up to normal health, even now I still have some health issues.

“Of course, similar to what you’re experiencing right now, adapting to this style of living took a while. I never wanted to become part of a gang. I just wanted to get back to my normal life and go to college and get a decent job. I guess it was just meant to be, seeing as how my dad was already in this line of work…There were a lot of trust issues between both me and Seventeen. For the longest time I only ever talked with Jeonghan, and very little at that. To me, it was going from one captor to another, but to Jeonghan, he had saved someone. Because we had such different views on the situation it caused a lot of issues between everyone. I guess that’s how you and Mingyu are right now… It took a good while for me to get to trust everyone, and there were some pretty intense after effects of living as a captive that for so long. Jeonghan would stay up with me all the nights I couldn’t sleep because of the nightmares, and eventually, very slowly, I’ve made it to where I am now.” Joshua said, his clementine long forgotten on the table in front of him. He suddenly laughed. “Honestly when I first saw Jeonghan standing over me that night, I thought he was an angel and I had finally died. In a way I guess he was a sort of angel...”

           You were at a complete loss for words. His story gave you a whole new perspective on life. He had been through hell and back and had never once complained about it to you. He barely even showed that he had once been held captive like that. He seemed to fit in so well you had never expected something like this. No wonder none of the other members wanted to talk about what had happened. You couldn’t imagine what they would have done when Jeonghan showed up with Joshua looking like that.

           “It’s not too bad though, at least I gained twelve good friends from the whole ordeal, and I can always be here for you when you need it. I know it’s not easy to go through something like this.” He said, gesturing vaguely to the entire house. You opened your mouth to respond but nothing came out. Finally, you were able to form some words.

           “Is that group that did that to you still out there?” you questioned. Joshua ran his fingers through his hair.

           “Yah, god, the first time I ran into them after that I thought the world was going to break open and swallow me. I felt so panicked and sick to my stomach I almost blacked out. Thank god I was with the other members then. It’s been a good few years since that all went down, and since then the two groups have been able to smooth things down enough that we can be civil in public together and not start any petty fights like we used too, but yeah, they’re still out there. And still one of the more powerful groups. I don’t think I could ever be alone with anyone from that group however, it would end badly.”

You didn’t know what to say. The fact that the group that had abused and almost killed someone so nice and gentle as Joshua was still out there made your blood boil. Before you could think of something to say you noticed Joshua’s hands shaking ever so slightly as he reached for a piece of the clementine, and you couldn’t help but feel guilty. You’d made him relive one of the worst memories of his life. Without thinking you reached across the table and grabbed his hands in yours.

           “I’m glad I got to meet you Joshua, and I’m glad you’re doing better now. I’m sorry I made you relive all of that.” you said softly. Joshua smiled, his eyes twinkling brighter than the stars that filled the night sky outside.

           “How about we watch a movie to take our minds off everything? We might as well enjoy our time while out ‘captors’ aren’t awake.” he said with a wink, emphasizing captors. In the end, you realized the both of you were being held by seventeen against your will. Sure, they might be giving more freedom to Joshua then they were to you, but in the end,  you were both “prisoners” there. It crossed your mind for a moment to ask whether Joshua had ever tried to leave svt, but before you could give it anymore thought Joshua beckoned you towards the living room with the tv, heading straight for the drawer where they kept all the movies.

           The next morning you woke up to loud cooing from a few of the other members. When your eyes finally fluttered open and adjusted against the harsh light of the sun you realized that you were still sitting on the couch. Out of exhaustion, both physically and mentally for the two of you, you had both managed to fall asleep halfway through the movie. Somehow along the night, the tv was turned off and the two of you had obtained blankets, and settled down onto the couch, to tried to go back up to your own rooms. It only then occurred to you that you had full on snuggled up against Joshua, who still sat propped up against the back of the couch. He too was just coming back to his senses. You quickly launched yourself away from him, nearly falling off the couch in the process. Leaning against the door frame, staring daggers into both you and Joshua stood Mingyu, his face stone cold. Joshua quickly tried to explain, but Mingyu turned on his heels and walked away before Joshua could even get a full sentence out.  

           A wave of guilt washed over you the second his glance crossed yours as he turned to walk away. It’s not like you had done anything wrong though, did you really need to feel guilty and explain yourself to him? You didn’t belong to him so what did it matter what you did, all you did was fall asleep…

           Regardless of how you felt about the situation, the guilt was still very much present. Mingyu was in a sour mood the entire morning, and Joshua seemed to be feeling just as guilty as you. The awkward air that filled the room at breakfast was stifling. You sat in your seat that had been pulled up next to Hansol and across from Chan. There wasn’t much room there, but it was better than sitting at the other end of the table, staring straight down the table at Seungcheol. You barely had an appetite, but continued to eat anyways, not wanting to show that it had affected you in any way. The breakfast started off extremely quiet, but when Seokmin finally broke the tension everyone started up in the conversation, soon forgetting about the events from earlier that morning. That is all, except Mingyu.

           After breakfast, you helped Chan with all the dishes before heading upstairs to take a shower. Upon finding the shower already being used, you made your way to your room and threw yourself down on the bed. Only a few minutes later you heard your door open. You slowly lifted your head to see who it was, not really bothering to move much. That was, until you realized Mingyu had just walked into your room. You slowly sat up, folding your legs in front of you as you watched him walk closer towards you.

           “So, do you still want to go to this ball? I doubt Joshua will be going…” Mingyu asked, his words laced with spite.

           “Why would Joshua not go?” you asked back, completely ignoring his harsh tone.

           “Exo’s going to be there.” He replied, and once he was you puzzled look he explained further. “The group that got him.” You nodded, now realizing that Josh had never even mentioned the name of the group.

           “I mean, whether Joshua goes or not doesn’t really bother me, I just really want to get out of this house even if it’s just for a few minutes.” You explained, shrugging your shoulders. There was a moment of silence before you finally spoke up again.

           “Anyways, Mingyu about this morning…” you started, only to be cut off by Mingyu himself.

           “Joshua already told me everything.” He said, a little less harsh than the past few times.

           “So, then you know nothing happened, would you stop being all harsh to me?” you asked, raising an eyebrow at him. Mingyu sighed and sat down next to you on the bed.

           “I’m sorry, it just bothers me that I didn’t know you couldn’t sleep well at night…” he finally sighed.

           “It’s fine. Honestly, I thought I would run into you more than anyone else, especially Joshua, but it does make sense. After all he’s been in the same place as me, a lot worse actually. He would know what to expect from me the most, probably even more than I do myself.” Mingyu nodded. “Don’t go bringing your frustration out on Joshua though, he didn’t do anything wrong. In the end, I’m the one that made him come downstairs, and I made him tell me about what happened back then. We both got so emotional last night that we wouldn’t have been able to sleep if we didn’t do something like watch a movie.” You pointed out. Mingyu nodded once more before standing up.

           “I really do want to go to this ball though, Mingyu. I want to meet these Monsta X people too since Seventeen is always spending so much time with them. They must be nice people too.” You said, following him out of your room.

           “We’ll just have to ask the boss than.” Mingyu said with a smile.

Next...

[getsterekt]

STEREK FIC REC POST

i’ve hit another hundred followers on my twitter account @getsteREKT so once again im posting another fic rec post!

as always these fics will be of all tropes so be sure to read the warnings and tags of all fics you wish to read to make sure each fic IS for you. x

my personal favourites will be marked with a **

-------------------------------

i'll always choose you (even when i'm drunk) by trilliastra

He looks at his hand curiously, he’s always had a ring? He can’t remember.

“Yeah.” The guy comes back into the bedroom, helps Stiles sit up and drink some water. “It’s your wedding ring.”

“I’m married?” He yells, making the guy flinch. “I’m married!” He looks between his ring and the guy with pretty eyes in front of him. Oh, no. “I’m married.” He repeats, sadly. He doesn’t want to be married!

“Are you – crying?” The guy asks, reaches out to touch Stiles’ face.

“I don’t wanna be married!” He cries out. “I wanna marry you.”

WORDS: 794

CHAPTERS: 1/1

RATING: General

WARNINGS: none

BYOP by   dragon_temeraire ***

Stiles helps Derek revive a family tradition.

WORDS: 2003

CHAPTERS: 1/1

RATING: Teen and up

WARNINGS: None

Second Chances by  rootbeer ****

"A lot of times the ‘markings’ were common, simple things you said to strangers all the time. 'Excuse me'; 'thank you'; 'hello'. Some got extremely romantic things like 'it’s you isn’t it? I’ve been waiting for you' or 'Wow you’re really pretty'. And they were always the first words their soulmate would ever say to them.

Of course, having 'You are the fucking worst kind of person in the world' tattooed down your side, didn’t bode well. How fucked up was Stiles Stilinski that even his fucking Soulmate hated him? High School had been a special kind of hell when all the kids learned what his tattoo said—despite his best efforts to keep it a secret."

WORDS: 2624

CHAPTERS: 1/1

RATING: General

WARNINGS: None

Oops by Little Spoon (JaydenNara)

Derek was the one that brought Stiles dinner when he knew Stiles had forgotten, and Derek was the one that massaged Stiles’ feet when he was stressed. When they watched a movie, Stiles snuggled up against him, and Stiles trusted Derek enough to fall asleep on his shoulder. When Stiles woke up in the middle of the night screaming, Derek was the one that held until he fell back asleep, and in return, Stiles would help him count his fingers when Derek wasn’t sure if he was awake.

Derek and Stiles were just friends. Oops?

WORDS: 2852

CHAPTERS: 1/1

RATING: Teen and Up

WARNINGS: None

Just a Hobby by kaistrex (weishen)

Five times Deputy Derek shelters his partner from the supernatural and the one time he discovers he’s just been making a fool of himself.

WORDS: 3014

CHAPTERS: 1/1

RATING: Teen And Up

WARNINGS: none

Soft Derek, Warm Stiles, No One is a Little Ball of Fur by tiedtogetherwithadagger

Stiles is wiping down the counters and humming California Gurls to himself when the bell above the door chimes and Derek walks in. The next notes of the song get stuck in his throat and he freezes. Stiles shouldn’t be surprised, really. The rest of the pack have already been by to visit him, even Jackson. Of course, Boyd was the only person Stiles ended up giving a free drink to, much to their disappointment. So what if he had favorites? How could he not when Boyd was the one to get him ComiCon tickets?

Derek swaggers up to the counter Stiles is stationed behind, because that’s the only way Derek apparently knows how to walk. He’s wearing a maroon knitted sweater today that looks unfairly cozy. Stiles slaps his own hand down from reaching out and touching the fabric because that would be weird. Although slapping yourself might be weirder. Oh well.

WORDS: 3728

CHAPTERS: 1/1

RATING: General

WARNINGS: none

So Color Me Green With Disgust (or maybe with envy) by lapsus_calami

Derek’s as straight as a ruler and he’s totally okay with that. He’s also okay with Stiles being as straight as a bendable squiggly straw. Or at least he thought he was. Recent events have him wondering if he’s secretly some sort of homophobe, and it’s seriously starting to affect his and Stiles’ relationship in a bad way.

WORDS: 3828

CHAPTERS: 1/1

RATING: Teen and Up

WARNINGS: none

Coaches Cupcake Coffee House by  ChildOfTheRevolution

Danny looked at him as if he were crazy, ‘It means he wants to ride the dick Stiles.’ He said slowly, as if talking to the mentally insane.

‘Ride the dick, my dick?’ Stiles asked weakly.

‘Figuratively speaking of course, Derek looks more like a topper to me. And you, my friend, are a twink of the most twinkiest standards, but I’m not one to judge.’

‘I don’t know what you’re talking about.’ Stiles admitted, finding himself in a weird crouch-like stance that he apparently now adopts when he’s overwhelmed about finding out Derek Hotcakes wants to bone him three ways to Sunday.

WORDS: 4821

CHAPTERS: 1/1

RATING: Teen and Up

WARNINGS: none

something's missing by trilliastra

Sometimes Derek still asks himself why Kate kept the baby. And then he just tries to shake those thoughts away because even imagining Michael not being here, alive, hurts too much.

WORDS: 5032

CHAPTERS: 1/1

RATING: Teen and Up

WARNINGS: none

Ghost Blanket and the Wolf by PaintedRecs **

Derek's badly in need of hugs, Stiles decides shortly before Halloween. His pack is secure and stable, but he still hovers on its edges, as though not quite sure where he belongs. Will the magic of Halloween night, and a cherished Stilinski tradition, be enough to lift that weight off his shoulders?

WORDS: 6434

CHAPTERS: 1/1

RATING: Teen and Up

WARNINGS: flufff

***Derek vs. Helen (SERIES) by thedevilyousay

Important OTP question: Which one aggressively argues with the suburban soccer moms at the PTA meeting and flips Helen’s 9x12 pan of betty crocker brownies?

WORDS: 8,730

WORKS: 3

COMPLETE?: Probably

WARNINGS: none

****Painted Wooden Letters by DiscontentedWinter

All he ever wanted to be was Stiles Stilinski.

WORDS: 10,011

CHAPTERS: 5/5

RATINGS: Teen and Up

WARNINGS: Rape/Non-con, Underage, mentions of child abuse.

(Not gonna lie, this fic hit me really hard. Its very brutal and you will cry most likely. PLEASE make sure to read the warnings before reading this fic, if any of the warnings are triggers to you, then please dont read this.)

My Boys by losingmyangelgrace

“Afternoon Sheriff, sir, what can I do you for?” he might as well try for innocence.

Something definitely wasn’t right though. He took a deep breath in through his nose. That scent…it didn’t smell like John Stilinski, if anything else, despite some of the layers being different, scents change as a person gets older and there were some he didn’t recognise, but the core of it? It smelt like-

“Holy shit! Derek Hale!”

Stiles.

Stiles was the Sheriff? Derek did not see that one coming.

(In which Derek returns to Beacon Hills after fourteen years away)

WORDS: 11,354

CHAPTERS: 1/1

RATING: Teen and Up

WARNINGS: none

Striking Matches by castielblues & eeyore9990

Stiles has only ever wanted to protect his family and his pack. That’s not easy to do when you're human and sarcasm is your only defense. Now Deaton is telling Stiles he’s a spark, and if that’s a weapon in his arsenal, he’s sure as hell going to learn to use it.

All Stiles needs now, to complete his transformation into a true badass, is a training montage and a decent soundtrack...

WORDS: 14,923

CHAPTERS: 2/2

RATING: Teen and Up

WARNINGS: Graphic Violence

Momentum by  TatsuKitty

“That’s how he knew where Erica and Boyd were.” He growled and stood to pace the length of the apartment. Melissa observed quietly while he processed and silently picked him apart. He was obviously possessive and protective but his facial expressions and motions were harsh, a bit wild, just a touch of the wolf showing in the man. Finding out that Derek was a werewolf had almost made a kind of poetic sense.

“I’d guess. I don’t know what happened with them. I know they died.” She reached out and placed a hand on Derek’s forearm. He went totally still like a rabbit caught in the eyes of a fox and stared at her. “I’m sorry.”

“Wh--¬what ?” he just blinked at her, still totally frozen.

WORDS: 14,934

CHAPTERS: 1/1

RATING: Mature

WARNINGS: Underage, mentions of depression

Maggie May by Spikedluv

When Laura Hale died, she left behind a daughter, Maggie. Stiles (and his dad) have been caring for Maggie since the night Laura disappeared. Unbeknownst to Stiles, however, Maggie’s a werewolf, and she’s bonded with Stiles. Which means he feels extra protective when Peter Hale appears on the scene. (He may have also developed a little crush on Maggie���s uncle, the silent and brooding Derek Hale. Who said Stiles’ life was boring?)

WORDS: 24,997

CHAPTERS: 1/1

RATINGS: Mature

WARNINGS: Underage

Adding You to My Future by NekoIzumi

“So, I'm Stiles.” he smiled warmly once he had put his unannounced patient down on the exam table. “I will poke and prod you a little bit to check for internal injuries, those that I can’t see because they're inside you, and some of it might hurt but it will pass, I promise. I will tell you everything I'm about to do and why I'm doing it so just stay calm and this will go like a breeze, okay?”

Now, Stiles wasn’t stupid in any way, shape or form, he knew a were when he saw one… although he had obviously never seen a werecat before, and definitely not one as young as this one.

WORDS:  42,252

CHAPTERS: 9/9

RATING: Explicit

WARNINGS: Graphic Depictions of Violence

The More That I Know You (the more I want to) by LadySlytherin

When death, in the form of hunters, comes for a family of Kelpies seeking refuge in the Preserve - in Hale territory - the Hale Pack is too late to save them. Before he dies, the male Kelpie presses a precious bundle into Stiles’ arms and begs the Emissary to take responsibility for it, which an initially reluctant Stiles does. When he agreed, Stiles had no idea what the sight of him with a baby would do to his esteemed Alpha, Derek. If he’d known, he might not have been so reluctant to agree.

WORDS: 43,655

CHAPTERS: 1/1

RATING: Mature

WARNINGS: canon-typical violence

Pale Horses by Dark_K

Being bitten had never been on his to-do list, but he could deal with that. Helping Derek Hale become a competent Alpha, though, that was so not in his job description.

WORDS: 56,071

CHAPTERS: 15/15

RATING: Explicit

WARNINGS: Graphic Violence, Underage, Derek is a lil weird

Play It Again by metisket

In which Stiles goes along with one of Derek’s plans and ends up in an alternate universe as a result. He should’ve known better. He did know better, actually, and that means he has no one to blame but himself.

“Laura wants to lure the kid in with food and kindness and make a pet of him, like a feral cat. Derek wants to have him arrested for stalking. They’re at an impasse. (And the rest of the family is staying emphatically out of it in a way that suggests bets have been placed.)”

WORDS: 63,206

CHAPTERS: 3/3

RATING: Teen and Up

WARNINGS: Graphic Depictions of Violence

It's a mad, mad world by ElisAttack

"They call him the Feral Wolf." The man laughs hysterically as Stiles backs away from him, fear coursing through his veins. "Feral Hale. Do you know why? Huh?" The man creeps closer, testing the restraint of his chains, white talcum falling from his skin, swirling in the air like the dust devils plaguing the wasteland. "Because he's fucking mad."

Or the one where Stiles is a prisoner looking to return home, but to do so, he may have to rely on a questionable drifter.

WORDS: 73,627

CHAPTERS: 11/11

RATING: Explicit

WARNINGS: Graphic Violence

(Sacred) In The Ordinary by  idyll ***

The Pack, after college, graduate school and the starting of careers, comes back to Beacon Hills. Nothing's gotten less complicated after all this time.

Based on a kink meme prompt that grew legs and got serious.

Note: This is a whole lot of pack!fic with a very slow build Derek/Stiles

WORDS: 78,759

CHAPTERS: 9/9

RATING: Explicit

WARNINGS: Graphic Depictions of Violence

Didn't See That Coming by knittersrevolt

Stiles leaves Beacon Hills in the dust after he catches his husband cheating on him.

He finds his way to New York where he starts working for the Hale House Nursery, accidentally adopts a werewolf baby (through no fault of his own thank-you-very-much), and somehow starts training to be an Exorcist Emissary. So, in general, life was going good.

Then he hears that demons have found their way into his hometown. Can he face his inner demons and go back to save the day?

WORDS: 83,838

CHAPTERS: 43/43

RATING: Explicit

WARNINGS: Violence

A Life for a Life, Makes the Whole World Bound by augopher

Stiles was lonely; there was no other way of putting it. The Nogitsune had left the pack a wary of him, not that they thought it had been his fault. No, they worried it would happen again. Once bitten, twice shy. The morning after his 18th birthday, his torso was covered in mysterious green tattoos. He hadn’t been that drunk. He'd definitely remember that. Great. Something else to make him feel like a freak. Insomnia led him to his mother’s diary and a tale of how she helped an odd man once who gave her the warning, “Be careful of your wishes three." Everything clicked into place. So...he was a djinni. He subtly changed things about himself. More muscle? Done. Better hair? Done and done. End his crippling insecurity? Done, done, done. He hid his new gift until he found himself bound to Derek. With Deaton’s help, they translated meanings in his tattoos, but they were incomplete. A passage of his 'Rules and Regulations' was missing. Everything was fine dandy until Stiles’ new powers and penchant for mischief and karmic retribution threatened to destroy him, fracture his mind, and turn him into something which couldn’t be contained. Could the pack save him in time, and at what price?

WORDS: 90,697

CHAPTERS: 26/26

RATING: Mature

WARNINGS: Graphic Depictions of violence

Of Course It's Fairies by  HelloWhyTheFuckAmIHere

While still suffering from the after effects of the Nogitsune, Stiles and the pack stumble upon and save a trapped fairy. The boy's parents, not wanting to be in the pack’s debt, offer each member of the pack who assisted in the rescue, the opportunity to bring a loved one back from the dead.

Having been blissfully reunited with several of their once-lost friends and family members, everyone must work together to figure out how to function as a new pack, and how to defeat a new incoming threat.

WORDS: 100,267

CHAPTERS: 54/54

RATING: Not Rated

WARNINGS: None

When I'm Gone by MissYuki1990

Stiles is leaving. For good if he has any say in it. He gave everything to them and received nothing in return, so who can blame him for wanting to leave and find his place in the world. Apparently? Everyone and their uncle.

WORDS: 108,584

CHAPTERS: 10/10

RATING: Explicit

WARNINGS: Graphic Depictions of Violence

I Know Where Babies Come From, Derek. (series) by   DiscontentedWinter ***

Stiles finds a baby on the porch.It looks exactly like him.Well, this is awkward.

WORDS: 127,012

WORKS: 3

COMPLETE: Yes

RATED: Explicit

Home by TheTypewriterGirl ****

January seventh. Seven days since the start of 2015, and seven days since his father’s death.

The bastard, he thinks bitterly. The past year Derek Hale had made it blatantly obvious that he hated his scrawny guts, taking every given opportunity to shove him up against a wall, growl threats in his ears and roll his eyes whenever he stepped into the room, muttering some snide comment about how spastic or idiotic he was.

So why did he fucking volunteer to take him in?

WORDS: 167,178

CHAPTERS: 18/18

RATING: Teen and Up

WARNINGS: Angst, Character Death

[nurfhurdur]

Life's Highway Alternates quotes

I got bored....

"I want to go to Thomasville."

Doc nearly snapped the small hex key in his hand as he worked on adjusting the sides of Lightning's leg brace.

...

"Pardon?"

Lightning watched him with a raised brow from where he sat on the examination bed. "I said I want to go to Thomasville...and don't break my brace, that was expensive."

"You didn't pay a dime for this, kid. The insurance company sent it." He replied.

--- Ch 3

They both fell silent, Doc nearly asleep when he heard the kid trying to get his attention again.

"For the love of- what?"

"Nevermind, that one's not important. It can wait."

"..."

"Doc?"

"The next four words out of your mouth better be we're going to crash, or I will cuff your ears."

Lightning tried to hold back a laugh, gaining the attention of passengers behind them. "What does that even mean."

He uncrossed his arms and moved to sit up. "You wanna find out?"

--- Ch 3

Lightning looked up in surprise at the wildflowers that were put on the table beside him, then glanced to the side as Smokey walked into the house.

"Umm...thank you?"

Doc huffed in response, and Lightning could tell he was in no laughing mood. "They're not for you."

--- Ch 4

When Lightning went to follow, Smokey held him back. "Let 'im go, kid."

That's when Lightning realized what he was really looking at.

Morning mist hung low over the dirt track and dew could be seen clinging to long grass pockmarked with spider webs. The old chain link fences were stretched, bent, or completely uprooted in places. Rails from the inner wall had completely rotted away or had fallen in complete disrepair. The painted Piston logo he could see was chipped nearly to oblivion and windows from the press box had been busted out ages ago, from weather and disrespectful kids alike.

Weeds grew up through the lower benches of the bleachers, one of the giant wooden doors leading under the grand stand had fallen off its track. At one point they were likely a brilliant whitewash but now they were a dingy and rotted brown.

--- Ch 6

"He loved driving, but I've never seen him as happy as when he's coaching you."

Lightning looked over the photos, articles, and Doc's distinctive handwriting that peeked out from around magazine pages. The last however many years, he didn't feel like counting, flashed by behind his eyes.

Dozens of races, championships, titles, long days at the Butte, long days traveling, criticism, praise, the familiar presence and instructions from the pit box, the steady calm on the mornings of races that counterbalanced his nervousness, bickering and challenging, goading and teasing, sarcasm so dry he wasn't always sure he got it.

From wanting to throw him out of town, to following his ambulance to the hospital, to taking him clear across the country because he'd asked him to.

"Racing wasn't the best part of his life."

Lightning felt his chest tighten further.

"You are."

--- Ch 6

There were still moments of tension, but he'd had his say only hours after they'd met face to face after so long. He wasn't going to bring it up again, as much as he might have wanted to.

Because he really wanted to.

Even as they conversed amiably, sitting on the back porch, he wanted to just let him have it. Because how could he? How could he leave his family and never contact them again for fifty years?

Did he only send that first letter because he knew they'd seen the race...

Smokey didn't think he'd ever know. He doubted he'd ever ask. Because what did it matter in the grand scheme of things. His brother was there, alive, and as snarky as he remembered. If he put aside his own resentment he could almost piece together memories that weren't even real.

--- Ch 9

He'd traded one name for another. Like trading in a car when you wanted an upgrade.

Like trading for a new driver when the previous was history. He'd learned more than just driving skills in Piston Cup.

--- Ch 9

"And if I find out he was stupid enough to pop the question somewhere like that beaten down track I'm gunna break his other leg."

--- Ch 10

[andthelightbulbclicks]

Hi! Looooveee your writing, you're so talented!! Anyway, im still sad that bellarke are separated for 6 years , could you do one where Clarke made it back in time to leave with the rest of the gang + bellamy , and like, how it would be if she were with them ? that would be cool. ❤️

Hi! Thank you, you are so kind!! This was interesting to write, since my hiatus project is all about them in canon-verse during those six years, but it was fun to think about.. Thanks for the prompt :D [ao3]

“It’s now or never,” Raven tells him, regret in every wordshe speaks.

Bellamy looks towards the upper level again, silently begging.Come on Clarke, come on Clarke.

“Just,” Bellamy says, refusing to look away from thelanding, “just one more minute. Give her one more minute.”

Raven sighs behind him, and he can hear her shuffling at thedoorway of the ship. “Sixty seconds. We can’t even afford that. I’m going tostart launch, if you’re not in here in the next fifty seconds, I won’t be ableto stop it from leaving you too.”

Bellamy nods, eyes laser focused on the spot where Clarkeshould emerge, where she will emerge.

He hears the others’ voices echoing out from the ship, buthe can’t focus on them when he hears a loud crash from up above, right fromwhere the lab’s entrance to the outside is.

And then, he sees the most beautiful sight in his entirelife – Clarke, practically clawing her way towards the railing.

He opens his mouth, ready to holler to her to hurry the hellup, they need to go now, when she spieshim, and freezes right at the top of the stairs.

“What are you doing?”She yells, sounding angrier than he’s ever heard her.

He doesn’t even have time to be confused before he picks upon the absolute fury lining every part of her body as she barrels down thestairs and straight towards him. Bellamy can do nothing but watch as shereaches him, and grips the front of his suit as best as she can through herthick gloves.

“Bellamy Blake,”she growls, chest heaving with every breath she takes, “get on that goddam ship!”

He’s so focused on accepting the fact that she’s actuallyhere, that she made it, that it takeshim a second for his eyes to catch on the crack in her helmet and the raw panicin her eyes. And he knows she’s not scared for herself.

She’s petrified for him.

So he forces his legs to move, both of them dragging eachother along until Clarke shoves him in front of her to climb the stairs to theship. She keeps pushing him, following right behind him until both of them areplowing into the ship and everyone else is staring at them in silent shock.

“It’s about fucking time,” Raven tells them, her handsmoving to flick some switches. “You had five seconds, now shut the damn doorand buckle the fuck up.”

This time, Bellamy’s the one pushing Clarke, right into oneof the two remaining seats next to each other before he reaches for the latchto shut the ship’s entryway, not even glancing back as the large doors slideclosed in the lab.

He’s back to Clarke almost instantly, his entire body onalert as he checks her over, trying to help get her buckles in place, becauseshe’s panting and shaking, and he knows she must have practically killedherself sprinting to get back in time.

But she pushes him off, still gasping for air, but pointingto his own empty seat. “Please Bell,”she breathes.

He knows what she’s asking without her having to say it, sohe slides into the seat next to her, tightening his own buckles even as hewatches to make sure hers are secured too.

“Opening launch door,” Raven calls.

“Did you get the power on?” Murphy asks Clarke, as he gripsEmori’s hand.

Clarke nods, still clearly out of breath, or completelyoverwhelmed. “Had to climb a fucking tower to do it,” she huffs, almosthysterical.

Raven smirks. “Initiating countdown.”

She hits one final switch.

10, 9, 8, 7, 6…

Bellamy turns to Clarke, can’t look away when she closes hereyes and tilts her head back until her helmet is leaning against the ship’swall. He’s so engrossed in her that he almost startles when her gloved handreaches for his, and he’s momentarily brought back to another time when hegripped that hand like it was his only lifeline.

5, 4, 3, 2, 1.

He holds on tight, squeezing her hand once, twice. Shedoesn’t open her eyes, but she smiles in relief, and Bellamy doesn’t know whathe would have done if he never saw that smile again.

—

His own rising panic had subsided as soon as he knew theywere all safe in that ship. He didn’t care that they were going back to theArk, or that he was currently in a rocket. They were all alive, they were goingto make it.

And then they hit the break in the atmosphere, and thatcrack in Clarke’s helmet splinters into five more, stretching across the widthof the glass.

He knows what that means even before Raven skywalks to theArk as fast as she can to open the door, and Clarke’s oxygen goes critical.

By the time they’re actually running through the hallways toget oxygen flowing through the Ark, Emori and Murphy are supporting Ravenbetween them, and Bellamy is dragging a near-unconscious Clarke.

The moment he can take his helmet off, he rips hers off too,and gives her whatever oxygen he has left.

He later finds out that it’s Echo who flips the breaker, savingthem all.

And that she’s the one who dragged Clarke, and then Bellamy,towards the vents giving them air.

—

“Is the water filtration system functional?” Clarke asks,and Raven grunts in affirmation as she paces back and forth to check between aset of wires she’s working on and the computer screen Monty got running.

“And how about the algae farm?” Bellamy adds. He sees Clarkenod her head in agreement, as if that was the next question she was going tospew off to Raven.

“And what about–,” Clarke starts, only to be cut off by Raventhrowing her hands in the air.

“Enough!” She says sternly, but not unkindly. Bellamy looksat her in surprise, as does Clarke. At their reactions, Raven’s face gentles.“Enough,” she repeats. “It’s been over twenty-four hours since we got here, andyou both have been badgering me and Monty nonstop. You both need to go andrest.”

It’s true, but that doesn’t mean either of them are willingto admit it. There’s so much that only Monty and Raven can do, but he andClarke haven’t been willing to accept that there’s time to take a break. Montyjust left a little while ago with a yawn, dragging his feet to go find Harper.The others had gone searching for any soft surface to lay on hours ago.

“You need to rest too,” Clarke grumbles, avoiding looking atBellamy now that their focus has been pulled from what needs to be done.

Raven just shakes her head exasperatedly. “I did. You two were so busy heckling Montyabout the heating system and how he shouldn’t be straining his hands so heshould tell you guys what to do that you didn’t even realize I disappeared fora few hours.”

And now that Bellamy thinks about it, there was a point afew hours ago where there was a break in Raven grunting and muttering at themin frustration.

Raven must see something in the way Bellamy sighs, becauseshe pushes on, as if sealing her victory. “I promise that by the time you twowake up, I’ll have a full report on everything you’ve been hounding me about.”

Clarke opens her mouth, looking ready to put up a fight, soBellamy gently grasps her elbow, pulling her attention to him. “She’s right,” hetells her, ignoring the snort Raven gives. He wants to tell Clarke that out ofall of them, she probably needs the rest the most since she was the mostoxygen-deprived, but he knows she would only argue further. So instead, he letsgo of her arm and tilts his head toward the door to the control room, andstarts to leave.

“Just a quick nap,” Clarke agrees reluctantly, following himout of the room. He thinks he vaguely hears Raven say ‘thank god’ as the door swings shut behind him.

He turns around to make a joke about it, but he’simmediately met with two small hands shoving him back, and a very angry Clarke.“You idiot,” she whispers, somehowmanaging to sound furious even as she keeps her voice low so Raven can’t hear.

He’d be surprised by the reaction if he hadn’t expected itthe moment everyone was breathing again and laughing breathlessly that they hadmade it.

When it didn’t happen immediately, he knew she was stallingby staying and pestering Raven and Monty with question after question. He knewthe minute they were alone, she would explode with the anger that’s beensimmering just under her skin. But he wouldn’t leave her side, not when theyalmost lost each other.

“I told you to use your brain, not launch it out of yourhead and forget you even had one!” She whisper-shouts. “You could have died.”

“If we hadn’t waited, you would have,” he points out, impressed with how calm he sounds, evenas the thought of Clarke being left behind on that burning planet makes himnauseous.

“The night blood could have worked,” she reasons, poking hischest with a finger.

He reaches his own hand out to hold hers in place. “That wasa hypothetical that I didn’t want to test with your life.”

Clarke’s nostrils only flare in response, and he just wantsher to go sleep. She looks exhausted and pale and the last thing he wants to dois whisper passive-aggressively to each other until they’re truly shouting.

“Look,” he sighs, wanting to just hold her, assure himselfthat she’s really, truly here. But he also doesn’t want her to pull away. “Idid use my head. I used my heart too, just like you said I needed to in orderto keep everyone alive. And my head, my heart,” he moves her hand to rest flatabove his heart, “every piece of me all the way to the tips of my fingers andmy toes, told me that if I closed that door on you, if–,” he pauses, thethought making his stomach plummet, “if I left you there, it would have beenthe greatest regret of my life.”

For a moment, Clarke just stares at him, openly gaping.Bellamy thinks she might actually punch him in the face for taking that risk.

Instead, she reaches her other hand out for him, and wrapsher arms around him like she had done in that office in the lab, locking herhands behind his back like she’s never going to let go. “When I saw youstanding in front of that rocket, it was the best and worst thing I have everseen in my life,” she admits hoarsely into his t-shirt.

Bellamy’s responding chuckle is wet with emotion. “Seeingyou in that awful jumpsuit was the most beautiful thing,” he tells her, leaningdown to place a chaste kiss to her forehead, her skin clammy. “Can we not beangry about me wanting to wait and just be happy that all eight of us got herein one piece?”

He feels her tears soaking into his shirt, and the realizationhits him, slamming into his gut.

They’re all alive.For once, no casualties.

He grudgingly pulls away so that he can see her shining blueeyes. “I just want you to take a nap, Clarke. I need to nap. So can we please just go and find rooms with beds sowe can sleep? I think we’ve earned that much.”

Clarke nods her head once more, looking down at the tearsshe left on him before looking back up at him. “Or we can find one room, onebed. So we can take a nap together,” she hedges, not daring to be the one tobreak eye contact first.

Bellamy’s breath whooshes out of him, a surprised chuckleescaping him. “Yeah?”

She rests her forehead against his chest. “I don’t think Ican let you out of my sight for a while. The last time I did, I accepted that Imay never see you again, and I never want to feel that again,” she says, anddespite her words, he can hear the smile in her voice.

Bellamy takes her hands, starting to pull her further downthe hall to where an Ark-issued bed has their names written all over it. Theyfall into a blissful, deep sleep, arms wrapped around each other, clinging toone another.

And to Raven’s utter delight, they sleep well past what canappropriately be called a nap, letting her work in peace for hours.