#i find kenny to be an interesting character but some people love acting like he did nothing wrong and was always justified

[spacedlexi]

saw your reply about wanting to draw s1 and s2 art more often, would literally die for Lee and Carley in your style... i skim through your stuff often as well, probably one of my top three fav styles, and cant wait for your post s4 clemvi story, i know ill enjoy that as much as i do your art. have a nice holiday and happy new year friend :)

ive drawn lee before so if you mean more in a shippy sense then.. possibly? (im partial to both lee/carley and lee/lilly myself 😏 like i see it) i need to draw carley anyway im making a promise to myself to draw the ladies from the other seasons at Least once..because i love them and they get no attention (except for when theyre getting yelled at amirite). fucked up women of twdg my beloveds

so much kenny nick and luke art out there i will bring balance to the ecosystem 😔🙏

byut shdfkshjkd 🥺💕 THANK YOU!!! im excited to finally finish it and im making illustrations to go with it as well i just havent decided how many to do yet. i hope you have a happy new year too anon!!

[cursedvibes]

Idk if I’m the only one who feels a bit sentimental about ch240-243. It’s just got me thinking about how there’s actually someone for everyone. Like you know how people might think they’re weird or they’re being perceived as strange and off-putting by those around them but, in fact, there will ALWAYS be someone who matches your vibe and celebrates your individuality. What a beautiful thing connection is.

I’m not even sure if it’s intended by Gege but the last 7? chapters have been greatly influenced by themes of loneliness and connection and (in my opinion) Takaba and Kenjaku are no exception. Both somewhat lonely in what they do, in what they’re passionate about, both are misunderstood and perceived as “weirdos” by those around them, finding each other and being able to connect through comedy, giving each other what they longed for (Kenny’s “it’s been centuries since my heart danced like this” and Takaba’s “my dream stage… I don’t want this to end”). It’s just… wow?

Also I saw a little analysis about how there are two roles in Japanese comedy-duos, basically one person is telling the jokes and acting weird and the other is acting more serious by fending off the partner’s jokes, so in ch.243 it was Kenny and Takaba, respectively. Takaba’s talent as a comedian shone through as he’s generally more serious and his previous attempts to act as the one who cracks the jokes all the time led him to failure (ch241). But now, thanks to Kenny taking up the “unserious” role he was finally able to finesse his performance. This is such a unique battle out of everything we previously had… “I don’t want this to end” me too Takaba… me too…

P.S. im kinda manifesting that one day you’ll write a fic about these two 🥲 I absolutely adore your works

There's always someone out there who matches you perfectly and it might be the person you least expect, like Japan's worst terrorist or a depressed comedian. Sometimes it also might take you a millennia to find that person, but that makes it all the more worth it when you do.

No but seriously, I totally understand you. It's amazing how Gege managed to build up such a deep connection between Kenjaku and Takaba and thereby not only gave us some much needed further characterization for one of our main villains, but also fleshed out someone who used to be only a comedic side character. Although the fact that Takaba would have more depth was already foreshadowed in his introduction. If anything, him becoming a comedic sidekick was more surprising.

The focus on loneliness, love and being able to connect with other people in the last chapters was very intentional I think and I honestly like how much the approach to these themes differs between Kenjaku and Sukuna. Besides my problems with the Gojo vs Sukuna fight, those topics were brushed on there, but not really explored in depth. Until we got Takaba vs Kenjaku. The main difference here and what allowed us to get a deeper understanding of the themes and how they relates to these two characters is that contrary to Sukuna's fights, Takaba and Kenjaku's fight was more a dialogue where they both discussed their feelings on building connections and became a better person through it. Both of them learned something new (also about themselves) and came out of it as changed people. It's not just one person barraging the other with their issues or slapping their egos around.

Yorozu vs Sukuna is very self-serving. Yorozu is lonely and she thinks having Sukuna by her side will help her, but she is ultimately not interested in really connecting to him, she just projects her own issues onto him. She says herself that having his corpse would be enough. She wants to own him, her attraction to him is because she sees herself in him and her love is a love of herself, there isn't really anything romantic or sexual to it. Similarly, Sukuna has no interest in her either. The fight is only there so he can try out the new CT he just got. Both are essentially in their own world and while it is nice that Yorozu makes a weapon for him, they don't actually connect. Yorozu wants to teach Sukuna her understanding of love, but he already has his own and neither of them budge on their positions or make concessions.

Gojo vs Sukuna is a bit difficult to summarize because it's kinda all over the place and we don't get much from either of them in terms of character development or thoughts in general until the last chapter. Still, it's again someone trying to build a one-sided connection to Sukuna, wanting to teach him love and failing. I would say Gojo is a little more successful than Yorozu because at least Sukuna acknowledges him and says he will remember him. Gojo says he didn't manage to reach Sukuna and teach him "love", but he left an emotional impact. Sukuna changed Gojo to a degree, but only so much as in he killed him and thereby shoved him off the pedestal he put himself on and what kept him from having equal relationships with people. Bit late for that and it won't actually have any long-lasting consequences for Gojo because well he's dead, but it's something. Ultimately, there is no change in Sukuna's character however. There is a physical impact on him from the fight, but not much in terms of emotions. He isn't forced to reconsider any of his positions, he isn't challenged in his character. If anything it only got reinforced because he's confirmed to be "the strongest".

Kashimo vs Sukuna is another instance of someone coming with their issues to Sukuna and pressuring him to fix them. Kashimo wants to build a connection to Sukuna and I think they are actually more genuine with their intentions than Yorozu, but there is still a one-sided connection. Their relationship isn't balanced. Sukuna is supposed to give out wisdom, but Kashimo has nothing to offer him and while it is nice that we got a deeper look into his philosophy, there is nothing he really gained from his interaction with Kashimo. We are learning new things about Sukuna, but he doesn't. I think this will only happen when we get to Yuuji vs Sukuna because Yuuji affects Sukuna on a deeper level than any of the other three. He's the only one that can meaningfully challenge Sukuna because they would finally leave the premise of Sukuna's whole worldview (strength) behind. But we'll see.

Takaba vs Kenjaku is very different. If we were to compare it to the formula of the previous fights, Takaba comes up saying "Let me teach you about love (comedy/fun)" and Kenjaku's response is "Oh I've actually been dying to hear about this. Give me your best shot." Since the start of the Yuki fight Gege has put more emphasis on showing us that Kenjaku is essentially just bored and lonely. They want to connect to people, that is the easiest way to entertain them as well and they don't actually enjoy entertainment without having anyone to share it with, but they and their longstanding goals are what's hindering them. Their plan distanced them from their closest friend and left them quite desperately searching for new companions. Their plan also motivates them to kill Culling Game players, despite them seeing it actually as a waste of potential. That's how they entered the fight. They want to be entertained and they want a new friend. Takaba offers that to them.

I think initially Takaba's offer wasn't entirely sincere, just a ploy to distract them. He might've been already interested in Kenjaku's motivations for causing all this suffering, but he didn't actually expect them to connect so well and so quickly over their shared interest in comedy. First, Takaba gets challenged however. We learn he wants a partner just as much as Kenjaku. He can't enjoy comedy anymore because he needs a partner to succeed in his performance and deep down he is actually just searching for someone who understands him. Due to getting so fixated on performing successfully and pushing himself to lean into types of performances he doesn't actually like that much (playing the funny man), just for the approval of others, he also ended up pushing the people he did perform with away. He couldn't take any criticism and only continued further down the wrong path, leaving him depressed. A less extreme version of how Kenjaku tended to isolate themselves and subconsciously worked against their own interests.

Kenjaku makes him realize what he actually wants, that he has to change himself, his approach to comedy and that he needs to actually try to connect to people and not shy away from it in fear of criticism. This is already different from the previous fights. They both have an investment in the other and want more than simply beating the other person into following their worldview.

Then we get Takaba forcing Kenjaku to reflect on themselves and what they actually want. Despite how persuasive his CT is, Kenjaku's realization that they are having fun in playing around with these silly scenarios and that they for once are actually enjoying the Culling Game for what it is (a chance to meet interesting players, not just a stepping stone for something greater) doesn't seem to be fake. The nature of his CT also makes them realize that if they want to survive they have no choice, but to open themselves up a little bit and cooperate with each other. That's when both of them finally reach their true goal.

They have to work together because that's the only way Takaba can fulfil his wish to perform comedy with a partner, someone he actually connects with and who understands him. It also provides Kenjaku with the friend they have been looking for. Someone equal (as a comedy partner would be, Takaba is able to keep up with their imagination, just how they countered his made-up scenarios earlier), who won't bore them. As Kenjaku said afterwards, they actually had fun, despite the quite mundane scenario. There was cursed energy involved, but what made them actually enjoy the show was the trading of jokes and improvisations they both had to keep up with. It doesn't need some world-shattering CT to entertain Kenjaku, they just previously lacked that connection that would make them appreciate the entertainment they are getting more.

As you said, the positions they take during the show is important here too. They started out with Kenjaku as the straight man and critic and Takaba doing goofy antics as the funny man. Both roles that don't really suit either of them, which is also part of why Takaba never managed to be funny in the past. During the show Takaba is finally able to make his true personality shine and have people understand and like him, despite how he can come off as quite serious. Kenjaku on the other hand was able to be as silly as they want to be. They kept that part of their personality down previously because it would only distract them from their goal and fulfilling their carefully curated plan. We see the evidence at the end of the chapter. As soon as Kenjaku gives into that part of their personality and gets lost in their performance with Takaba, they get taken out and their merger plan is compromised. By indulging in what they actually want, they lost control over their proclaimed long-standing goals (probably, we will see how things develop).

I've seen Kenjaku's "you were super funny" compared to Sukuna's "stand proud", but that doesn't quite work, I think. Sukuna is comparing Jogo to himself and complementing him for how much he managed to measure up, while Kenjaku is commenting on how they enjoyed their fight together or more specifically the comedy show. They reassured Takaba that he is funny, but they don't view it as him having measured up to some standard they set. That is primarily because they could only achieve that goal together. Their comedy relied on a partner and they both only had fun because they had each other. Alone it would be meaningless. The entire point of their stand-up show was that the "fight" wasn't a competition anymore.

Takaba and Kenjaku were able to become partners and form a connection because they were actually able to open up to each other and take the other's personality and character into consideration. That's what differentiates them from the previous three fights and is also why they were successful where Yorozu, Gojo and Kashimo failed.

Kenjaku is open to change and new experiences and after some convincing embraces the connection they are being offered, while Sukuna stays almost completely closed off to others (with the exception of Uraume it seems).

It really was a great fight and it's very unfortunate that it is over and ended the way it did. We'll see how things develop. I would be really interested in seeing if and how Kenjaku's connection to Takaba might influence them in the future and how they will approach their merger plan. Currently it seems like Yuuta kind of ruined all the progress in terms of character development they made thanks to Takaba, but who knows...

If you're interested, I did write a fanfic about the two, where I also vented my feelings about their relationship a bit :)

[meowjf]

The intended symbolism behind my Hangman Tarot card

I wanted to do a write-up of my thought process behind each major part of this picture. Please note I’m writing this on an iPad while I have covid, so there are bound to be mistakes and weird autocorrects I didn’t catch. If any part is incoherent or weird, let me know and I’ll try and fix it.

Here’s a link to the full hangman piece for anyone who hasn’t seen it/wants to look at it for reference.

So, I wanted to start out by discussing this piece a little bit. Yes, this had a ton of thought put into the symbolism and a lot of the picture had direct meanings I was trying to get across. I think I made it a bit ham fisted at times, but I did make me super happy to see how much people appreciated and noticed the thought put into it. Often times, I would include things because I needed to solve a compositional problem, or I wanted to include something I thought was pretty. So I would try to find a way to solve those problems/include those elements while tying it back to the main picture. I also had some things I didn’t mean to include, but were pointed out in various tags/comments, so I included them at the end because I think they’re super interesting! Overall, this picture took me about 7 1/2 hours from start to finish.

The Hanged Man

My major reason for choosing this card was simply for it’s name. However, I did do some research into it, as I wanted to ensure the card would actually fit him. There’s lots of different meanings depending on where you look, but a common thread was letting go and metamorphosis. I personally really liked these meanings, and decided to make this illustration about that- his change and growth as a character. I started drawing this in the middle of his reconciliation with the Young Bucks. I think as a whole this picture is about him letting go of the trauma associated with the Elite: both he guilt over the hurt he caused them, and the anger over the hurt they caused him.

TL;DR: It’s about letting go of guilt/anger and growing as a person

Broken Mirror Halo

This has a direct 1:1 moment it’s meant to reflect, which I think everyone could guess

This is arguably his lowest moment, but also a major turning point. I wanted to explicitly make this mirror light halos from religious art. Part of this was for aesthetic- anyone who knows me knows I love light halos. But, often the worst points in our life can lead to major changes of the self (like a metamorphosis, winkwink) and turning a moment of despair into something “holy” was imagery I was really interested in playing with.

TL;DR: Sometimes the worst moments of our lives are also where change begins. And what is more divine than the human act of transformation?

Tangled in his Own Noose

This is the biggest example of solving an issue with imagery. In the original sketch, his legs were just sort of cut off at the frame, which looked really weird once I started to clean it up. Originally, the noose was hanging loose around his neck (an homage to his old gear), but while cleaning up the sketch I couldn’t find a way to make the hanging noose look good.

This was meant to represent him being tangled and tied down by his mistakes and strained relationships. The two major elements of this are him being tied tightly to the frame covered with images of alcohol, and to the belt. The belt became a way for him to “redeem” himself, but reality is rarely ever that simple and getting the belt wouldn’t solve everything. I also liked the idea of mixing something representing his mistakes with something representing Kenny’s corruption (the belt). While the ropes may be plentiful, they’re sloppily tied and can still be undone.

TL;DR: the ropes are his mistakes

The Frame

The frame is a little obvious- we all know our favorite cowboy has had his share of problems with alcohol. I did consciously choose to have the alcohol spilling out of the cups and bottles, as if they’re being disposed of. Something I couldn’t quite execute to it’s full potential was the fact that one of the whiskey glasses is directly below where his hand is. I wanted it to mimic him pouring out the drink. Lowering the opacity shows this a bit better.

TL;DR: Hangman likes alcohol too much but he’s better about it now.

The Monarch Butterfly

I was in the middle of working on this when he came out to save the bucks in his monarch butterfly pants. I immediately knew I had to include the butterflies in this pic, and I’m so happy I did. They were mostly there to connect to the recent episode, but I did do a little reading into meanings associated with Monarchs. They’re often associated with transformation. Considering this piece is directly about him growing and changing as a character, I was very happy they fit so well with the theme. Most of their placement was based off of aesthetics- I simply chose what I think looked best. The one conscious decision was to put a butterfly on the noose- a symbol of his new growth on top of the symbol of his previous mistakes.

TL;DR: Butterfly pants, but also transformation.

Unintentional Symbolism

Upside down horseshoes look like an Omega symbol- this was entirely a happy coincidence! I drew him in the in-ring gear he wore during Full Gear 2021. Maybe that was something they intentionally thought about when designing his gear? I’m always a sucker for wrestlers including other wrestler’s motifs in their gear, so having this pointed out was a delight! But since it’s not something I actively meant to include, I don’t have a lot to say about it.

Moonsault Pose- I think this one is really interesting. Him actively being in motion rather than being stuck hanging has really interesting implications. Like before, it’s not what I actively meant to include so I don’t have anything in depth to say about it. But it did make me stop and think about the piece in that context, so I thought it would be interesting to include here as well!

Some things I didn’t get to include/don’t have much meaning.

Dark Order- I didn’t really find a good way to include the dark order in this picture. I wish I did, but I couldn’t find a good way to include it without feeling busy. Unfortunately the purple + eye aesthetic didn’t look very good in this picture.

Bullet Club- I really wanted to find a way to include the bullet club into the noose that’s tying him to the frame, but couldn’t really find a way to that without it being distracting. There just wasn’t a good place to put any bullets or skulls. I did find a better way to do it in the Young Bucks + Flowers pics I did a whole ago.

The background pattern- the simple flower pattern was chosen because that’s what I thought looked the best. It was meant to mirror the flowers on his pants, but no additional meaning was put into that.

The Suns in each corner- the yellow circle in each corner of the frame is the sun. There’s no extra meaning to it, they just looked good with the color palette and matches the “riding off into the sunset” imagery he likes to use.

The End

That’s all for now, folks! This was surprisingly fun to write us. As a thank you for everyone who stuck around and read to the end, here’s the janky rough sketch, along with the final sketch that I ended up lining:

[gifted-burnout-archive]

Who Would’ve Thought

Requested?: yes! so this is a mashup of sorts. I got three separate requests: the first being an interview scene with a bitchy reporter, the second a y/n x luke with some enemies to lovers and an argument, but the actors get on really well, and the third was for a similar teasing, y/n x luke concept. This doesn’t quite cover every part of each request, but it gets a bit of all of them in, ya know?

Word count:

Author’s Note: i think this is the point where i just accept i am a jatp smut writer, right? i mean, it was only a matter of time before it happened... i liked this, writing it was so much fun, if you like this and want more send it in to me!

Warning: this became fluffy smut, you’re very welcome.

the masterlist is here, because i have more stuff like this.

--

“Ok, ok.” The laughs around set subsided after Madison’s joke, the reporter sitting up a little straighter and coughing to compose himself. “I have to ask, and I have to know since that trailer dropped last week… Y/N, I think everyone watching wants to find out a bit more about you and the character you’re bringing to season two?” He asked, turning his attention from the show’s star to the young woman sat beside her, who was wiping tears from the corners of her eyes, trying to stop laughing.

“What is it you want to know?” She asked, sharing a smiling with Madi as she too sat up straight in her chair once more, running a hand through her hair and crossing one leg over the other, all triggers to help her subside the giggles waiting to erupt from her chest, to calm down and get back to the professionalism she had practiced in her bedroom mirror.

“Well, for starters, what’s it been like, joining the Julie and the Phantoms crew? Am I right in saying this is your breakout role, just like it was for Madison last season?” He asked, and Y/N nodded, gripping Madi’s hand in hers.

“Yeah, it is. And I’ll tell you something, I wouldn’t have known what to do on day one without Madi. The closest I came to acting, to television, before this was when I played a tree in my kindergarten school play.” She explained, glancing past the reporter’s shoulder to see Kenny stood watching them with a grin, sending a thumbs up her way. Her body relaxed a little. “Yeah, I auditioned as a dare from a friend at college and, well…” She smiled wider. “Seems like the best decision I’ve ever made.”

“And from what I can tell, the rest of the cast sat in on your audition?” The reporter asked, looking to both girls for an answer.

“Not the first one.” Madi cleared up. “But Kenny and the casting team loved Y/N, and wanted to make sure she was the perfect fit. They had her perform on the sound stage, and the rest of us just sort of snuck in to watch.” She explained, letting go of Y/N’s hand to gesture as she spoke. “We were all just blown away, and Charlie was the first to shout out after she finished. He called out… What did he say?” Madi asked Y/N, who was laughing to herself at the memory.

“Kenny, will you hire her already?” Y/N answered, and the reporter chuckled again. “And from that moment on, I was Grace.”

“Yes, Grace, our mysterious new rebel child. What can you tell us about her?”

“Ok, so, we’ve got Kenny on standby in case I mess up and give away too much.” Y/N prefaced. “So, Grace is the new girl at Los Feliz High, Carrie’s cousin, and coming in with a bit of reputation where we left off season one. I think the best way to describe would be a musical influencer?” She glanced to Madi, who nodded in agreement. “Bit of a rebel, bit of a spanner in the works for Juke despite her and Luke quite adamantly disliking each other.” She added, and the reporter was nodding his head feverishly.

“Yeah, the trailer seemed to show it. Is that the character’s big goal, breaking up our OTP?” He asked, and Y/N bit her lip as she thought for a moment.

“I think she’s a character with a lot of growth, you get a lot from her in the season, which I was so honoured to bring to the table. We’re doing some reshoots tomorrow, finalising one of the big scenes the trailer didn’t show. I can’t say a lot, but Grace is definitely causing some tension this season, throwing in some music of her own too.” Y/N added, quick to change the subject of discussion to something she knew she was safe to talk on.

“What was it like, working with the rest of the cast on the new season’s album?” The reporter quizzed, taking the hint. “Madi, we heard you and Y/N singing together on the trailer, saw it in one of the stills, I can only wonder how two such talented singers get into each other’s rhythm, especially with the difference in genre. Obviously, Madi you have piano, but with Y/N on guitar, I just wonder how it all worked out while filming?”

“We actually wrote the song for the trailer, along with Charlie. The three of us brainstormed the thing for the first few weeks of filming, just like Charlie and I did with Perfect Harmony last season.” Madi explained. “And you know, we all come from very different musical backgrounds, and it allowed for this amazing mixture of pop and rock and grunge that just works. You only hear a snippet of our song, but just wait until you hear the full thing.” She was beaming, and Y/N couldn’t help but smile and nod along.

“The day we recorded it, man, we were all just electric. There’s this section with the guitars…” Y/N paused. “That I won’t spoil… You can tell this is my first press junket, right?” She laughed, earning chuckles from the studio. No-one blamed her for being new, she was learning quickly enough that it wasn’t a problem.

“So, on the topic of Charlie, who is waving at us right now from behind the camera,” The reporter paused as the girls laughed and waved past the camera recording them all at their co-star. “I have to ask about Julie and Luke, and now this new dimension of Grace.” The girls nodded, a question they both had expected and prepared for. “Madi, are we getting a Juke kiss this season?”

“I really can’t spoil it. It’s not fair… But their relationship does take a few turns, it’s a really interesting subplot.” She said with ease, a rehearsed line.

“And what about Grace? What are her feelings around Juke? Jealousy, perhaps?” The reporter questioned, and Y/N glanced over his shoulder to Kenny, who nodded for her to go ahead.

“Oh, she’s definitely jealous, though it might not be the reason you initially think of.” She said with a smile, quite proud of herself for keeping the answer vague enough, a light switching on on the camera to alert of their time finishing. Y/N smiled, getting herself ready to stand up, glad she had ended the interview on a good answer, when the reporter held up a hand for her and Madi to pause.

“And I mean, that chemistry seems to be translating off-screen too, no?” The reporter pressed on forward with his questions. “I mean, the chemistry you and Charlie have off-screen, Madison, is pretty clear. Is there jealousy off screen from you Y/N?” He asked, the questions turning from family-friendly to gossipy rather quickly. The executive producers stood behind the reporter had lost their smiles, Ortega and Becker ready to march forward and end the interview themselves.

But then, Y/N burst into uncontrollable laughter as a response, Madi quickly joining in one the sole base that Y/N was a rather infectious person. Soon, the whole cast was laughing along, the reporter left in the dark as the camera shut off and the girls left the press set stage in giggles, the crew suddenly moving quickly to start packing up for the night, the reporter being led off by assistants as the girls made their way over to their waiting friends and castmates.

The interview had been Y/N’s first and the team’s last of the day, and with the next day being their final shoot day for the season, the younger cast members had decided to celebrate and go out to dinner together, a pre-celebration to the wrap party the next day.

Stood by the studio’s exit was the rest of the dinner party: Jadah, Savannah, Owen, Tori, Sacha, Jeremy, Booboo, Tori, Kyra, Sofia, Halle, and Charlie, the last of whom swung his arm over Y/N’s shoulder as she and Madi joined the group, starting out for a restaurant on the far side of the lot.

“Not bad for a rookie, sweetheart.” Charlie spoke with a teasing tone, earning an elbow to the ribs from his friend. The pair had been inseparable for the whole year, since Y/N got the role in fact, and his arm across her shoulders was such a familiar and comforting feeling, that she found herself cuddling into him as they got out onto the lot and the Vancouver wind chill hit hard. Without pause, Charlie shrugged off his jacket and sat it over Y/N’s shoulders, the pair sharing a smile.

“You know, you should invest in shirts with sleeves, Gillespie.” She muttered, rolling her eyes as he responded with a smirk, flexing his biceps as his arm settled back over her, this time Y/N’s hand coming up and their fingers interlocking as they followed the group towards the restaurant. Madi and Savannah were up front with the other Dirty Candy girls, all singing one of the new songs from the show as they skipped their way across the lot, while Jadah, Sacha, Owen, Booboo and Jeremy were in the middle of the group, seemingly discussing what they were getting for dinner, confirmed when Owen started to rave about one of the desserts the restaurant had rather loudly.

Y/N watched the scene with a smile, watched all her friends with a smile. She knew she was lucky, she reminded herself of it every day she spent with the group of amazing people she had come to call her family. The move to Vancouver for filming was a huge shift, and she had initially thought she’d be alone and homesick, spending all her free time at her rented flat reading out scripts to her walls, but it hadn’t been the case. The cast had adopted her like she had been there since day one, they made her feel welcome and at home in the foreign city, Charlie especially. He was the one who got her out of her shell, who made sure to invite her to every dinner and party and hangout in the first few weeks of filming. He was the one who played guitar with her, who came and stayed with her for a week when she was unwell and stuck inside her little flat.

He was the one who was watching her at that moment in time, a dopey smile on his face as he pulled her closer into his side, pressing a kiss to the side of her head as they followed their friends round a corner, their destination that night coming into view, along with some extra familiar faces.

“Gotta be careful, Y/N, Charlie has a habit of passing on his fleas.” The teasing came from Charlie’s sister Meg, who slipped through the small crowd to hug her brother and his best friend hello.

“Don’t worry, I’ve been getting him treated.” Y/N responded with a grin, the pair sharing a tight hug before Meg moved on to squeeze her brother in hello, both girls smiling at his surprised expression.

“I didn’t know you were coming over.” He guffawed, his smile radiating as he hugged Meg tightly, Y/N moving off to greet Carolynn, Jeremy’s wife, who had also surprised with her appearance. By the look of pride on Owen’s face, it was pretty clear who had planned the gift for his friends. Y/N held out a fist to Owen, who quickly pounded his own against it before the girl continued walking, making her way to Savannah’s side as they found their table in the restaurant far corner, the pair getting themselves sat down. With the two playing cousins on the show, they had both made an effort to get closer, an effort Y/N had made with the whole cast, though her and Savannah got on like a house on fire: they were the same age, and had assumed the roles of big sisters to the younger cast members like Madison and Jadah.

“Charlie’s jacket looks good on you.” Savannah commented with a wink, and Y/N rolled her eyes, shrugging the item off just as Charlie and Meg entered the restaurant with Jeremy, Carolynn and Owen.

“You need to stop; you know Kenny has started commenting on what a good couple we’d make thanks to you?” Y/N questioned, and Savannah nodded with a proud smile. “I suppose you actively put the idea in his head?” She quizzed further, receiving another nod.

“We’re all just waiting for you to get together at this point.” Savannah said with a shrug, a few sets of eyes looking over.

“What, Y/N and Charlie?” Sacha asked from across the table. “Oh, yeah, definitely.”

“Every three months we start a pool and bet on specific dates for you two finally giving in and dating.” Booboo said through a mouthful of bread. “Whoever gets closest is going to be so, so rich.”

“How many people are in on this?” Y/N asked, wide eyed with raised eyebrows. It was new information, at least to her it was, but the rest of the table had heard it all before.

“Sixty three.” Tori answered, sending over a wink as the table burst into laughter, quickly shutting up as the final members of their party started sitting themselves down, Charlie sliding himself along the booth chair to sit beside Y/N, Meg on his other side.

“What’s the joke?” He asked with a cocked brow, and Y/N shook her head, warning him to not venture any further. “Better not to ask, got it.”

“So, we’re thinking of karaoke later?” Kyra spoke up from the top of the table, earning nods from around the table. “Perfect, I’ll book the room.” She said quickly, typing away on her phone to set the group’s plans for the evening in stone.

“Maybe Y/N and Charlie can give us their ABBA medley.” Jadah suggested with a wiggle of her eyebrows, sat on the other side of Savannah. Y/N gave her the finger while Charlie chuckled, throwing an arm over her shoulder.

“Come on, it wouldn’t hurt you, would it Y/N?” Charlie asked, using his best puppy dog eyes on the girl, who reached to grab a slice of bread before Booboo finished it all, chewing it thoughtfully.

“Only if Sacha is our Dancing Queen.” Y/N said with a happy sigh, the blonde boy across the table nodding quickly.

“Happy to do it. Yes. Yes.” He nodded fast, feigning a bow as the table cheered, Charlie looking over at Y/N with a soft smile. She smiled back before resting her head on his shoulder, a part of her still recuperating from the interview. How these guys had done multiple that day, how Madi had sat through almost every single one, Y/N couldn’t figure it out; but the thoughts faded away as menus were brought over and drinks ordered, setting the evening off on the right foot.

By the time food was placed down, the topic of conversation was focused on Carolynn and Jeremy’s dogs, the pair quite happy to show off photos of their fur babies as castmates ate around them, with brief interruptions to talk about the upcoming wrap party the day after, and discussions of the season two premiere plans the following month. With the filming almost finished up, everyone was making plans to head back home to families as they all awaited the news of renewal for a third season. Apartments in Vancouver were being packed up, Y/N herself had started the process of boxing up the life she had made over the past year in the city, with her friends, to ship back off home.

“You alright?” A whisper came into Y/N’s ear, pulling her from her zoned out state as she twirled spaghetti mindlessly round her fork, blinking a few times before looking over at Charlie, who watched her with concern in his eyes. She nodded a little, setting down her fork and taking a sip of her soft drink before shaking her head, lifting up Charlie’s beer and taking a swig, frowning at the taste but swallowing anyway.

“Just thinking about leaving is all.” She muttered back, shrugging a little before trying again on her pasta, eating a mouthful before continuing. “Just, what happens once we wrap for the season? What happens if the show doesn’t get renewed?” She asked quietly. “I don’t want to lose all you guys… I just got you.” She tried to make a joke of it, but the thought had been weighing on her mind for a while. Would they all stay friends? Keep in contact even though they would be spread over the globe?

“I can assure you, sweetheart, no-one will be losing contact with you. If any of these guys love you half as much as I do, they won’t be able to say goodbye to someone as awesome as you.” Charlie whispered in her ear, his hot breath fanning over her neck, and Y/N blushed a little, taking his free hand in hers and giving it a quick squeeze to say thank you.

“How’s it all going, everyone?” The server broke apart the moment and halted the rest of the table’s conversations, Y/N and Charlie quickly dropping their hands and turning back to their own meals as the rest of the table chorused compliments of the food, Booboo and Jadah insistent that dessert menus be brought along as soon as possible. A quick glance around the table revealed that Y/N was extremely far behind the rest of the table in finishing her meal, but her appetite had suddenly disappeared, most likely from the melancholy.

“Could I get a triple vodka coke?” Y/N asked the waiter before he left, smiling up at him as she closed her cutlery.

“Of course, miss. Anymore drinks?” He asked, jotting down a cocktail for Halle and another small glass of wine for Jeremy, disappearing back into the main body of the restaurant as the last few party members finished their meals, drinks arriving with dessert menus.

“A toast.” Jeremy raised his glass, prompting the rest of the table to follow suit. “To Julie and the Phantoms, to found family… And to another season.” He thought over the words as he spoke, Carolynn watching him with adoring eyes, their hands linked atop the table. The toast was met with cheers, Owen letting out a rather loud ‘Whoop!’ as glasses were clinked and drinks were sipped, the night only just beginning.

--

Kenny Ortega was rather glad he had left Y/N and Charlie’s big confrontation scene for their last day of shooting, and after walking into work the following day and finding, quite literally, everyone glued to their phone screens, he decided to check his own Instagram.

The night before had been a success for the young cast, and after dinner the group had travelled into the centre of town for a night of drinks and karaoke, the evening’s highlight being the video that was circulating that morning, of Charlie and Y/N sharing a mic as they sang ‘Waterloo’ by ABBA: Owen had caught the whole thing and put it on his story.

That video was also followed by a photo of Y/N and Charlie sleeping on the couch together at Owen and Charlie’s place later that night.

There was a level of professionalism that had to be maintained in a workplace for productivity, but the ‘something more’ friendship the two guitarists shared had caught the attention of the whole team. It had started betting pools and conspiracies and a game amongst the team to catch pictures of the pair acting like a couple. The kids had started it, of course, but seeing the way the two interacted both on and off-screen had gotten the rest of the crew involved. There was an undeniable connection there, and the waiting game was part of the fun.

And so, as the cast started to arrive for the 12 pm call time on location at the garage, all the reshoots that day needing midday sunshine, no-one was surprised to see Charlie carrying Y/N into work on his back as the pair shared a joke. In fact, they were quite excited to see how they would react to the final scene they had to shoot.

Kenny had given them both the script the week before, but refrained from discussing it with the pair until that day, partially pressured by the likes of Savannah and Owen, simply because an authentic kiss, without the practice or specific instruction from the director, would make for better tv. The plan was to get some close ups, positioning them for certain moments, then run it through once, getting as many extra shots as possible, with the hope being they could do it in one take. At best, it would work, and at worst, both Charlie and Y/N were still actors, and could make a kiss look real.

It took about an hour or so for the cast to get through the makeup, hair and costume departments, and Kenny pulled in Jeremy, Owen and Madi for some reshoots first, leaving Y/N wandering with a bottle of water in one hand and her script in the other, pacing back and forth as she ran the lines over and over again in her head.

The scene was an important one, the start of Juke’s conflict for the season, of Grace’s and Julie’s friendship being tested. From what else the girls had filmed over the past few months, it was clear that the season would leave their friendship on a cliff-hanger, this scene being the catalyst. And it was funny for Y/N, to go from her friendship with Charlie to being Grace, the girl that hated Luke. It took her a little while to get into the right headspace, though it wasn’t easy with all eyes on her, nor with the teasing she was receiving from friends about the night before, and her crashing at Charlie’s. It wasn’t news, Y/N sleeping over at Charlie’s, or vice versa; it was common place actually, after the first few months of friendship it just became a norm for them.

Grace’s character arc was one of reckless abandon, and she almost becomes a bad influence on Luke’s bandmates with her risky ideas and rebellious attitude. They had shot the previous scene, in which Julie falls down the school bleachers while with Grace and twists her ankle badly, the character very lucky it wasn’t worse. And Luke, already disliking Grace, confronts her when the girl comes looking to apologise. The tension that they had built over the season boils over, and Grace kisses Luke, the first time either of them have touched before.

Y/N was a little nervous about that last part.

She was an actress, but it would be her first on-screen kiss, and while the thought of it being with her best friend should have eased her mind, it did anything but. Kissing Charlie, whether she wanted to admit it or not, was probably going to be awkward, cause a rift between the two for at least a little while. And that would have been fine, if they weren’t all heading off home to separate corners of the world for however long.

“You look worried.” It was Owen’s voice that pulled her from her thoughts, the girl turning to find him leaning against the prop table nearby, arms folded and a look of concern on his face. “You alright?” He asked, glancing back over at the set. Jeremy and Madison were still getting some reshoots done, and Charlie was with Savannah and Booboo over in costumes, chatting away as the seamstress sat his clothes just right.

“I don’t really know…” Y/N admitted, looking back at Owen with a shrug. “I mean, I just…” She paused, letting out a sigh. “I’m worried things might be weird? Worried I might suck at the whole kissing thing, ruin the last scene we have to shoot?” She explained, glancing back down at her script as Owen watched on, thoughtful.

“Y/N, you’re a good actress. If the last year has proved anything, it’s that you are meant for this role. You’ve just gotta… You’ve gotta embody Grace, don’t think of it as you and Charlie anymore, because I know that’s what you’ve been doing for the past week. It’s Luke and Grace, yeah?” Owen stopped to make sure Y/N was following, and she nodded. “We need to get you into that headset before we start, alright? You know how to be Grace; you need to get into her before the cameras start rolling. I mean, you’re already dressed like her.” Owen gestured to the clothes she was in, and Y/N smiled.

She did already feel a bit like Grace in the outfit, style choices she had helped to make at the start of the season. To contrast from Carrie, she offset her cousin’s pink and preppy wardrobe with dark colours: Y/N was currently in black jumper with red detailing, paired with a short, tight black denim skirt and a belt that pulled in her waist, plus the fishnet tights and sturdy doc martens her character would soon be known for. Those shoes were the only pair she had worn all season. The makeup and hair team had left her looking flawless, with her hair curling and her eyeliner in a perfect wing.

The more she thought about Owen’s words, the less anxiety she felt.

The more she felt like Grace.

“Ok, ok… We’re getting somewhere.” She informed her friend, Owen holding out an arm for Y/N to link with, the pair beginning a sure march over towards the set, watching Madi finish the last few takes.

“You need anything else?” Owen asked, raising an eyebrow to the shorter girl when she nodded, watching her take a deep breath.

“Put on some music? Just… Something fun?” Y/N asked, having faith that music would completely rid her of her nerves for the scene. Kenny called cut, Madi and Jeremy making their way off set with smiles as they headed towards Owen and Y/N, the blonde boy connecting his phone to the nearby Bluetooth speaker while the set was changed for her and Charlie’s scene.

“I can’t believe this is the end of season two… Y/N? You ok?” Jeremy commented then questioned as he came over with Madison, the latter reaching a comforting out to Y/N’s arm.

“She’s getting in the zone.” Owen explained, finally deciding on a song, the music playing around them and earning a few cheers from the other cast mates, Charlie looking over from where he stood with Savannah and Booboo, his eyes landing on Y/N, who had begun swaying along with the song. She had a habit of this, using music to get into character, though it was usually through headphones in some far off corner.

“Loving you isn’t the right thing to do.” The speaker sang out the Fleetwood Mac hit, Booboo and Savannah beginning to dance along by Charlie as he watched Y/N from across the room, curious as to what she might do. “How can I ever change things that I feel?” Lindsey Buckingham’s voice resonated around the room, and Charlie took a step closer to his main castmates, watching as Madi held Y/N’s hand, quickly realising why the music was blaring.

Y/N was nervous.

“If I could, baby I’d give you my world.” The tracks vocals were overshadowed as Charlie began to sing, heads spinning to look at him as he spun himself around and started his way towards Y/N. “How can I, when you won’t take it from me?” He sang, holding out a hand for her to join him. They were both well aware that two things in particular made Y/N feel better: the first was music, the second was Charlie. With a push from Madi and Owen, Y/N could no longer hide the smile that was forming on her face, taking Charlie’s hand as he led her into a space in the room’s centre. While the crew set up for their scene, cast and producers watched on as the pair got into character.

“You can go your own way!” Y/N sang out, spinning under Charlie’s arm with a grin that scrunched up her nose and made Charlie smile right back, singing the response harmony of the chorus. “You can call it another lonely day!” The pair sang together, Kenny himself starting a clap in time with the music, the whole set soon joining in, cheering the pair on as they got themselves into character.

“Tell me why, everything turned around. Packing up, shacking up is all you wanna do.” Charlie sang scowling at Y/N with his rather adorable grumpy face, and Y/N held a hand out to stop him from coming any closer, playing the part of Grace.

“If I could, baby I’d give you my world. Open up, everything’s waiting for you.” She sang, bouncing a little as she sang, shaking away the last of her nerves as the second chorus came in, the whole room singing along now.

“You can go your own way, go your own way. You call it another lonely day!” As the crew finished setting up the garage for their scene, Charlie grabbed Y/N’s hand as squeezed it tightly.

“We’ve got this, alright?” He reassured, and she nodded, the pair getting into places as the music slowly died down and their fellow castmates and crew members cheered.

“Feeling better?” Kenny asked as the two got into positions, Charlie sat inside the garage as Y/N stood just beyond the doors, being handed a bouquet of flowers by the props manager.

“A lot, yeah.” She smiled, and Kenny gave her shoulder a pat.

“Just go for it, alright? Give it everything, give it electricity, you’ve got this.” His motivational words brought a smirk to Y/N’s face.

“I know I do.” She answered with a nod, Kenny walking back to behind the cameras and taking a seat, Y/N taking a one more moment to focus herself before Kenny yelled ‘action!’.

--

Grace wasn’t used to feeling guilty about anything, it just wasn’t a part of the life she enjoyed: she wasn’t an inherently bad person, though it could be argued she was a bad influence. As she stood in Julie’s driveway, a bouquet of flowers in hand, she felt like a bad influence. No, worse than that.

She felt like a bad friend.

Julie wouldn’t be in this mess if Grace hadn’t convinced her to go out with her the night before. Of course, she should have known that this time of year, with the uncommon rainfall and milder weather, that the bleachers would have been slippery. Grace should have suggested going somewhere else, shouldn’t have rushed up the steps and forced Julie to follow.

And while flowers weren’t going to help a lot with the twisted ankle, she hoped they’d lift Julie’s spirits a little. The doctors said it wasn’t serious, just a week or so in a pressure sock to stop anymore damage, and Julie had promised her the day before she was fine, but even so. Grace had picked out dahlias, Julie’s favourite, and was hoping to bump into Alex or Reggie or Carlos, leave them with her apology for Julie without much confrontation.

Instead, heading up the driveway and pulling open the garage door, she was welcomed by the sound of an acoustic guitar, and a frown settled on her features. Of course, of all the people it could have been, Luke was the one at home.

“What are you doing here?” He asked quickly, jumping up from the couch and setting down his guitar. Grace sighed, a roll of her eyes causing Luke to scoff.

“You know, I’d punch you if I could ghost boy.” She muttered, setting the flowers down on the coffee table. “I just wanted to leave something for Julie, alright? Don’t get your…” She paused, thinking for a moment. “Do you have underwear? I mean, ghost clothing isn’t exactly my specialty.”

“You’ve got some nerve showing up here after what you did to Julie.” Luke said coldly, arms folded across his chest as they stood at opposite sides of the room. He took a few steps to the side, lifting himself up onto the piano. Luke liked to have the high ground.

“What I did to her? Luke, she fell over. It was an accident!” She exclaimed in response, already riled up just being in the boy’s presence. She wasn’t quite sure why she had been cursed with the ability of being able to see Luke at all times, but she wasn’t going to let her annoyance with the guitarist go unsaid.

“An accident that could’ve killed her!” Luke snapped back. “What if she had hit her head instead of just twisting her ankle? Can you answer me that Miss Influencer?” He asked, and for the first time since the pair had met, Grace didn’t answer him back. Luke scoffed; quite certain he had won. “I don’t know what voodoo you put my friends under to make them like you, but I promise I see right through you. Through the clothes and the Instagram followers. All of it.”

“Do you think I wasn’t scared for her? Huh, Luke?” Grace snapped back. “I was the one there, watching her fall down the bleachers, the one who rushed after her and called her dad. Where were you, exactly?” She asked, a smirk settling on her lips. “You know, Lover Boy, if I remember correctly, you were off moping because I’m a better guitarist.” Her tongue came out to graze her bottom lip as she smiled, walking over to Luke’s electric that sat on a nearby stand.

“First off, you aren’t. It’s quite clear who’s better between the two of us.” Luke fought back, jumping off the table and marching over to pick up his guitar before Grace touched it. “And second, I wouldn’t have left her if you hadn’t been there. Because actually, Grace, it’s you that’s the problem!” He had raised his voice as he walked back across the room, setting his guitar atop the piano. Grace scoffed; he just didn’t want her touching his things.

“Right, because Julie can’t have friends if it’s not you, right?!” She was almost yelling now as well, but it was to be expected of the pair. Every conversation they had had was building to this argument. Every conversation they had shared was just bickering. “Hey Mr Invisible Man, news flash! Your crush is allowed to have relationships outside of you! I realise being dead is probably very boring, but Julie’s alive.”

“I just don’t think my friends should be associating with someone as infuriating as you, Grace!” Luke turned to face her again, all wide eyes and gestures. “I didn’t think I could hate people before I met you! I’ve had my music stolen; I’ve almost been enslaved for eternity; I died! And yet, the person I despise most in this world is you. Congratulations!”

“I take it as a compliment! You know, I’m honestly proud that I’m not friends with a self-centred, arrogant, inconsiderate, overbearing jerk. If anyone is fooling our friends Luke, it’s you.” The words were quick and cold, and Luke found himself marching forward until the pair stood about a foot apart, Grace forced to to look up at him, keeping big her chin high.The words were quick and cold, and Luke moved a few steps closer, and Luke moved a few steps closer, the pair a few feet apart, glaring one another down.

“They aren’t our friends, Grace. My friends are just too nice to leave you hanging.” Luke voice had lowered in volume, but the venom was still there as he took a step closer, then another. “You act all mysterious, but you’re an open book, Grace. You’re a lonely girl with a taste of relevance. That’s it.”

“Like you aren’t the same?” Grace asked, stepping forward so the pair were no more than a foot apart. “Quit pretending you aren’t still the lonely kid who ran away from home in 1995, give up the high and mighty act.” She paused, looking him over with a smirk. For a moment, she forgot he was just air.

“I know who I am.”

“Do you?” Grace asked. “That’s not what I see.”

“You don’t know anything about me.” Luke countered.

“And vice versa, ghost boy.”

“I know you’re manipulative, and cold. I know you’re insufferable to be around.” Luke stated firmly, his voice low and laced with malice.

“Anything else to share?” Grace asked. “Or are you done?”

“This is exactly what I mean.”

“You don’t know me!” Grace answered back. “You don’t know why I’m here or where I came from, or what I came from. You don’t get to tell me who I am or what I do or how I act when you have made zero attempts to check your information. I know you because I ask about you! I can call you an arrogant, self-serving halfwit because I actually have tried to figure out why you hate me so much!” She paused for a second, Luke watching in surprise. He didn’t quite feel bad for Grace, but something was building in him, something foreign he had buried away. “If you knew anything about me, you would know what I’m about to do next.”

“What? Leave?” He guessed, his tone still harsh and hostile, but his answer was incorrect. It was quick, something Luke couldn’t process fast enough; but within a second of his reply being given, Grace had somehow managed to touch him, holding her hands to his neck and pulling him down to her level before pressing her lips against his.

—

Y/N and Charlie both had plenty of experience kissing people, but neither of them had felt like that before.

The moment Y/N’s lips were pressed to Charlie’s, it felt like a thousand butterflies had exploded to life in her stomach, the feeling of his lips on hers making her lightheaded. Charlie’s hands immediately came to Y/N’s waist, pulling her so their bodies were flush and her fingers found their way into the curls at the back of his head.

There was a moment there, as the pair held one another, as they kissed one another, that the rest of the world melted away. One of Charlie’s hands moving from Y/N’s waist to her cheek set the skin on fire, had her heart pounding like it was trying to break out of her chest, had her knees going weak that the only way to stay upright was to pull back, to rejoin reality.

It was only as she looked up at Charlie, still dress like Luke, her peripherals reminding her where she actually was, that a shaky breath left Y/N’s body, and she took a step back. Out of Charlie’s embrace, towards the garage doors she had entered the scene through.

“Make sure Julie gets the flowers… I…” She spoke as Grace, shaking her head in disbelief before exiting out of the garage, leaving Luke, or Charlie, dumbfounded. She couldn’t tell anymore if it was real or acting, the lines had blurred a fair amount.

“And that’s a wrap!” Kenny yelled from behind the cameras, the deafening sound of the cast and crew cheering forcing Y/N to slow her pace, to quickly get accustomed to the noise before joining in. A rather large part of her head was telling her to run and hide, to disappear and never return, to book it for the airport and save herself the embarrassment of her flushed cheeks, of seeing Charlie after what she just felt with his lips on hers.

Her eyes eventually travelled up to see Charlie coming off the set with Kenny in one side of him and Jeremy on the other, Madi and Owen walking over to meet them, the latter waving her over quickly with a grin.

“That was amazing to watch!” Kenny was raving when Y/N arrived over, hands clasped behind her back as the director turned his attention to her. “What did I ask for? Y/N, you nailed it! You both did! The whole place was just electric.” He complimented, Charlie letting out a breezy chuckle as he raised a hand to rub the back of his neck.

“What can I say? You hired some great actors, Kenny.” Charlie felt off saying the words, glancing over at Y/N as he said them, the pair sharing a weak smile. What Charlie had felt while the cameras rolled was definitely not something he faked for the screen. His stomach was still in knots, trying to untangle itself after the way Y/N had kissed him left him speechless.

What exactly was he supposed to do? That information had the ability to ruin the friendship he and Y/N had, he couldn’t risk losing her so permanently. He knew Y/N, if they talked about how he felt kissing her and didn’t feel the same way, Y/N would distance herself from any and all contact, and with them all heading home by the week’s end, it was the last thing Charlie wanted to happen.

“That I did.” Kenny agreed, glancing at his watch. “Right, I’ll let you all go and get out of costume. Wrap Party begins in an hour.” He said with a nod, patting Y/N lightly on the shoulder as he left.

There was a moment of silence between the five of them, an uncommon occurrence, no-one quite sure who should speak first. Instead of speaking, Y/N gave Madi’s arm a squeeze before heading off to the costume department to get out of Grace’s head. Maybe the thoughts of Charlie would clear up once she was back in her own clothes, her own headspace.

The four friends watched her walk off, waiting until she had rounded a corner before Charlie received three pairs of hands punching his arms playfully and shaking him, all their of his on-screen band mates barely able to contain their excitement.

“What, what?” Charlie asked, taking a step back to avoid further battery.

“What?!” Madi exclaimed. “That kiss! Charlie, we all know that wasn’t acting.”

“I’m pretty sure everyone in Vancouver could tell that wasn’t acting.” Jeremy added with a grin, nudging his friend who was slowly getting some colour in his cheeks.

“You guys are all insane.” He said quickly, starting his way over towards makeup, but his friends were hot on his tail, none of them letting this budge. Not again: Charlie and Y/N had gotten away with their flirty behaviour plenty of times before, but this was different.

“You should at least talk to her about it.” Owen said with a grin, hands stuffed in his pockets as they entered the trailer and Charlie sat down, helping himself to makeup wipes and removing the thin layer of foundation on his face. “Charlie, come on… I know that your eyes were closed, but we watched you two kiss. If you’re feeling something, Y/N is feeling it too. There’s no way you both faked that.”

“I’m not ruining my friendship with Y/N over a stage kiss.” Charlie said quickly, pulling off his shirt and switching for his own clothes, looking up as the door opened and Sacha came in with Savannah and Tori, the seven all sharing glances.

“Convinced him to go for it yet?” Tori asked after a moment, and Charlie rolled his eyes, jumping out the chair and walking past his friends. “Oh, come on Charlie! It’s clear you both like each other!”

“Tori’s right!” Madi agreed, first in following Luke out onto the trailer lot. “Why are you so hesitant?” She asked, and Charlie came to a quick stop, spinning on his heel to look at his friends.

“I’m going to go see Y/N. Not because of whatever fantasies you all have in your heads, but because I want to make sure my friend is alright.” Charlie explained, though his words didn’t seem to convince any of them. That was fair, he didn’t convince him. “I’ll see you all at the wrap party, ok?” He clarified, but before he got an answer he made his way into the maze of trailers, taking the precise turns needed to get to Y/N’s trailer.

As he turned onto her row, Charlie found himself slowing to a stop about two trailers away, and taking a nervous gulp. Why, why had it taken so long for him to figure out his feelings? Why was it only once they had kissed that he felt all this emotion surging to the surface? For a moment he wondered if it was just his body reacting to kissing a pretty girl, but he knew that wasn’t the truth. Not in the slightest.

The truth was Charlie wanted nothing more than to feel that ecstasy that came with Y/N’s lips on his all the time, and he quickly formed a do or die plan in his head as his feet started back up, bringing him to the steps up to Grace’s trailer. Her name was pasted with gold sticker on the white door, the tension quickly building in Charlie’s chest.

Do or die.

The polite triple tap on the door hurried Y/N’s getting ready, the girl quickly zipping up her dress before slipping on her shoes for the night and answering the trailer door, the butterflies exploding in her stomach as she found Charlie stood in front of her door.

“Got a second? I was hoping we could talk…” Charlie said quickly, hands shoved in his pockets, a nervous smile on his face that had Y/N thinking the worst. This was about the kiss, it was about how awkward he felt about it, no doubt. She knew her anxiety before it was right, she knew that this would ruin things.

“Of course, come on in.” She said with a little smile moving back onto the trailer and allowing Charlie to make his way inside. As Y/N turned to pick up her phone off the table and place it into her handbag for the party that night, Charlie closed the door behind him with a nervous breath. He watched her for a few moments, smiling at her absentminded humming of the song they had sang together while she packed her things away for the party tonight. He took a step closer, running a hand through his hair and straightening his top up, psyching himself up for what he was about to do. She had changed for the party, and Charlie couldn’t help but admire how beautiful she looked in the baby blue sundress. “So,” Y/N asked as she started to turn around. “What is it you want to tal-”

Y/N was cut off when Charlie gripped her by the waist and crashed his lips against hers, not that she minded in the slightest. She was quick to kiss back, her hands coming to his neck as his hands pulled her closer until their bodies were flush. Whatever worry Y/N had been having about what their characters’ kiss would do to her and Charlie’s relationship was evaporated by the heat, the passion, the electricity of his lips on hers.

Charlie was hit with relief when Y/N kissed him back, when she pulled him closer, just thankful that she might have felt exactly what he did on set. He was about to pull away, apologise for what he was doing, for intruding and not letting her ask her question, but as he pulled back to take a breath, Y/N caught his bottom lip between her teeth for a moment, and Charlie was gone.

He pulled her close again, this time his tongue entering her mouth and starting a battle for dominance against Y/N. His hands travelled towards her ass, only gaining control of the kiss when he surprised Y/N by picking her up. She wrapped her legs around his waist as her dress rode up her thighs, hands moving from his neck to grip the front of his shirt, breaking off the kiss for a moment.

They looked at one another, breathing heavy and pressed to one another, both just trying to comprehend what they had done. Y/N was the first to catch her breath, looking up at Charlie with a blush across her cheeks and blown pupils.

“No-one’s ever kissed me like that…” She whispered out, smiling as a smirk played on Charlie’s lips.

“Same.” He responded, walking over and setting her down on the trailer’s kitchenette counter, a hand coming to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. “We’re… We’re idiots, right? For not realising it before?” He asked, and Y/N laughed.

“The amount of time we’ve wasted…” She muttered before pulling him for another kiss.

It quickly became heated again, neither of them quite able to control themselves. It was tongues and teeth and moans, and it wasn’t long before Charlie was leaving a hickey on Y/N’s neck and she was pulling off his shirt, quickly reminded of her friend’s body… God, he was hot.

“How long until the wrap party?” Y/N asked through a moan as Charlie pulled away from her collarbones, marks scattered over the skin Y/N would struggle to hide. He pulled his phone from his pocket, checking the time before setting it on the counter beside her.

“About 10 minutes…” Charlie answered, raising an eyebrow when Y/N bit her lip. “What did you have in mind?” He asked, stepping closer, his hands running up the sides of her thighs as he did, pushing her dress up further until he could catch a glimpse of the pastel pink panties she had chosen to wear that day, causing him to groan a little. He could feel his blood rushing down, his jeans becoming tighter around the groin.

“Well, I mean… We’re two consenting adults…” She trailed off for a second, her hands starting on his belt buckle in an uncharacteristically bold move. Charlie’s head fell back as her hand brushed against his bulge, breathing getting heavier once more. “And I’m on the pill…” She added, pushing Charlie’s jeans down slightly, then his boxers, her hand circling his shaft and beginning to stroke it slowly. She was teasing him, waiting for a response, an innocent look on her face that drove Charlie wild. He quickly pulled her panties off, tossing them to the floor and bringing a hand back to her core.

“So wet… And all just for me.” Charlie smirked as Y/N’s expression changed from feigning innocent to one of pleasure: a whimpering moan passing her lips as her eyes fluttered shut, a reaction to Charlie’s thumb circling her clit. “You know, all you had to do was ask.” He whispered in her ear, more of a growl than anything, quickly lining his cock to her entrance and pushing himself inside.

They shared in a moan, Y/N adjusting to the size of his length inside her for a moment, her walls clenched tight around him. They stayed like that for a moment, both adjusting to the feelings, before Charlie’s thumb started up its lazy circles around Y/N’s clit once more. She gave a nod, and Charlie pulled back, this time sinking himself all the way inside her.

They started slow; Charlie enjoying the view of Y/N whimpering in pleasure as she held onto him, begging for him to go faster. He didn’t comply right away, teasing her further with his length, but when she managed to utter out a ‘please’, the bucking of his hips quickened, Y/N’s whole body soon dissolving in the pleasure.

Neither of them had any experience with heaven, but if it was even half as good as the sex they shared, the afterlife would be amazing. Their bodies just worked together, like they were made for one another, each thrust and moan sending pleasure shooting through their bodies. Charlie set the pace, making sure to watch Y/N’s reactions when he changed angle, quickly finding the thrusts that gave her the most pleasure through lidded eyes, and Y/N would tease him further, her walls hugging his cock just enough to have him slipping out curses mixed with her name. It didn’t take very long for Y/N’s legs to begin trembling, Charlie’s hands spreading her thighs further apart as the knots began forming in her stomach, one of his hands moving to hold the small of her back while the other returned to his spot over her sensitive bud.

“Charlie… Charlie I’m close.” Y/N managed to say through breathy moans as the knots in her abdomen got progressively tighter, Charlie moving slightly to find a better angle, beginning to pound mercilessly into her cunt, a smirk on his lips. Her mouth formed into an ‘o’, her eyes rolling back behind hooded lids dusted with eyeshadow for the party that night, the one they were meant to be arriving at 5 minutes earlier.

“Come for me, sweetheart.” He muttered, pressing his lips down on her collarbone as Y/N came undone at his words, the spasms of pleasure bringing forward Charlie’s own release, the smirk quickly fading as he felt his own climax approaching. “Fuck… Y/n, fuck…” Charlie muttered, his thrusts quickly becoming sloppy as he edged on Y/N’s climax, letting out a moan as he shot his load, his head rolling back and his muscles flexing as he filled Y/N, prompting an aftershock to run through the girl, eliciting whimpers from her shuddering frame.

Charlie soon stilled, both of them panting as they came down from their highs, Charlie’s hands on Y/N’s back the only thing keeping her vertical. He leaned forward, pressing a kiss to her forehead gently before pulling out, letting out a hiss from the over-sensitivity as Y/N giggled through a whine.

“Jesus…” She muttered, taking a moment before slipping off the counter, lifting her panties from the floor as Charlie tucked himself back into his jeans and grabbed his t-shirt, the clothing item having landed on the back of the nearby couch. “I’m… I’m gonna clean up.” She informed him, unable to stop smiling as she disappeared into the bathroom, leaving Charlie to smile to himself and fall back on the couch with a beaming grin.

How had any of that actually happened?

He sat back up when Y/N came out of the bathroom, her hair fixed and her dress straightened again, though the blush on her cheeks and nose still remained. Charlie smiled and pulled himself off the couch, walking over to her and quickly pressing his lips to hers. She kissed back, the action shared between them soft and sweet this time around, though it still caused butterflies to erupt in both of their stomachs.

“I was thinking… I know you’ll need to go back home and visit family, obviously… But maybe you could spend a few weeks at my place in LA?” Charlie suggested his thumb rubbing against Y/N’s cheek as they held eye contact. “Meet my parents, maybe?” He added with a nervous chuckle. They had planned for her to meet his mom and dad at some point, and him hers, more for the fact they wanted their parents to know their best friend, but that had obviously changed… Best friends don’t fuck half naked in a trailer on their filming lot.

“I would love that… But you have to come home with me afterwards.” Y/N said with a smile, letting out a sweet laugh as Charlie nodded vigorously, the pair locking lips once more.

That night, when Charlie and Y/N walked into the wrap party with their hands interlocked, there was a relief that sat in the air for the cast and crew. Finally, after a year of betting pools and theories and who only knew what else, it seemed the two had finally stopped being idiots and acted on their feelings. It was confirmed when during a slow song, Charlie pulled Y/N onto the dance floor, the pair sharing a kiss as the music played.

On the side lines, it was Meg, Charlie’s sister, of all people who stood collecting cash from crew members. She had got herself in on the betting pool last time she visited, and had guessed the exact date the pair would finally take their next step.

The question of Charlie and Y/N’s budding relationship should have been a ‘who would’ve thought?’, but, in reality, everyone knew. From Madi to Kenny to literally everyone on the entire planet…

Except for Charlie and Y/N.

--

Tags: @lord-of-the-fried @lolychu @deadashcapper5 @aliceinemeraldcity @eries45 @kristencoontz @walkingonshunshine @wxshing-aep @oswin05 @voguesir @delicatelukepatterson @reggieandthereggies @siennanoelle01 @dxsxstxrhxxd @reggiesleatherjacket @a-whole-a-lot-of-fandoms @thetattooink @futuremrsb-r-main @charliessunset @mlt2000 @overlyhypedup @fangirlanonimax @writerinlearning @dxlanhxlland @manaoioahilinai @cocobuttababy @rosiemay02​ @crookedoperatoroperagarden @theatricalfangirl​ @middaydramatic @mloudfish @mps427​ @sweetdayme4427 @anagc-09​ @feliamtion​ @ohyoureaqueenbutuncrowned​ @caitsymichelle13​ @amortiff​ @lovesanimals​ @crappy-unicorn​ @avs-hart​ @ghostlyb1tch​ @lukeys-giggle @aunicornmademedoit @carleywhittaker @crybabyddl​ @writella​ @isabellaskyliner​ @moonyxnights​ @dmcfarland1​ @kiss-themoongoodbye​ @kcd15​ @ellepscal​ @bookdealer5​ @leahstypewriter​

(i’m doing really badly at tagging everyone who asks, so i’ll be sorting out my taglist around halloween to make sure i can keep all of you up to date on my writing!)

[halliestinks]

Hey :D 👋

I see some people request for 2 characters so I’m gonna do exactly that :D

I love Eric T. Cartman (if that’s okay) and Kenny M.

I see you also do headcanons so let’s keep that. And how would they react to their female s/o playing osu? I started playing after a few months and do mostly 3-4 star maps hehe :D Also there’s multiplayer available where even two people can play so you can put that in there too :DD

Hello! I’ve heard of osu before but did a little more research so I could write about it properly, hope you like it <3

Cartman has never heard of osu before, so he believes that since he doesn’t know what it is, then it’d be a pretty shitty game and would refuse to watch you play it

However he might walk in on you playing it once and just stare at the screen from behind you, he wouldn’t say anything but you would notice he was there pretty quickly

He’d act like he isn’t all that interested in you playing it and instead make up an excuse as to why he’s watching you

“You’ll probably cry if I don’t watch so I guess I’ll stay”

You definitely wouldn’t cry if he didn’t watch but it’s best to play along anyways, it was rare for Cartman to show interest in something not related to him so it most likely wouldn’t happen again for a while

At first he doesn’t understand anything on the screen so he’d ask a bunch of questions while you’re trying to focus, you try to answer them without messing anything up but still make a couple mistakes

Every time you do mess up, Cartman would point it out knowing very well he was the cause for them. If you lost your patience and snapped at him, he would act all innocent and blame it on you saying you just aren’t that good. This gave you an idea

“I doubt you can do any better”

Yeah no Cartman wasn’t having any of that, so he went straight home and got osu on his computer. He’d spend all day and night trying to learn how to play, just to prove he could do better than you

When the time came and you guys played multiplayer, you would keep scoring more points than him causing Cartman to rage and almost give up a couple of times

At some point you decided to go easy on him so he would win, and you can be sure he rubbed it in every time his score was higher than yours

Once the two of you finish playing for the day expect a lot more competitions from then on, who knows it might even turn into a huge tournament between the two of you

Kenny does have a computer of his own, but it’s really old and poor quality so there isn’t many games he can use on it

However he still loves playing video games with his friends or even just watching them play on their own, so of course he’d be there while you play osu

You talk him through the basics of the game and teach him how to play, but he doesn’t really see the point in it. He prefers action games and rpg, but would still watch you play to make you happy

He thinks you’re amazing at it, completely ignores any mistakes you make because he is too mesmerised by the movements on screen

You find it amusing how he’s probably more focused than you are, sometimes you get distracted and watch his reactions instead but I doubt Kenny would notice

Eventually you convince him to have a turn, he would be hesitant at first but soon gain confidence as you guide him

Surprisingly Kenny is actually really good after he gets used to it, and may even try some of the harder maps. He says it’s all because you’re such a good teacher, and would be completely lost without your help

Even if it might seem like Kenny was only watching you play because he ended up liking the game, he honestly just wants to spend more time with you and loves every moment he has with you

[tamhrayis]

I’ve seen a take that claims Mikasa is not important or needed in the story as she (apparently) doesn’t affect or push the story forward. What do you think?

That’s an interesting question, actually. I would like to read that take! Could you please send me it via inbox? :)

Okay, before starting I want to answer this question. Is AoT a plot based story or character driven?

Plot based stories often have an apparent antagonist or the character has to go from point A to point B, while character driven ones mainly function because of characters motivations, inner transformations and relationship between characters. Sounds familiar? Yes, AoT is a heavily character driven story that explores an abstract concept like freedom.

The main questions of the story are “How people can achieve freedom in a world with the repeating cycle of hatred? What is freedom itself? Is it a power? Is it love or full independency? What’s life itself? Are people born free or they become free? Is death meaningless? How does it feel like to be a soldier? Should we recklessly sacrifice ourselves and others?”.

All these questions are explored by individual characters and Mikasa has one the main roles in exploring the concept of freedom.

First of all, what is Mikasa’s characteristic that Isayama himself used in her character? Pride. Mikasa helps us to understand what is pride.

What’s pride itself?

Pride is, above all, the feeling of self-respect and self-worth. It’s about knowing that your life and you are important and valuable.

Mikasa knows that she is a soldier who worths 100 normal soldiers. She knows that loosing her will cost them a lot of looses. Mikasa knows her worth and she values her life.

Why does Mikasa always continue to fight? Because she has pride. If she dies, memory of her loved ones will be buried with her. Mikasa doesn’t only value her own life, but others’ as well. That’s why she always tries to save others. Yes, she won’t hesitate to kill or threaten someone who tries to take others’ freedom (life). But she will never let people she loves to die as her parents. She uses her pride and power to let others live.

Now, let’s look at the moment when she encouraged someone to live and fight.

She encouraged Eren to fight. If Mikasa wasn’t there in ch.50, Eren wouldn’t attempt to punch Dina and active the coordinate. The ch.50 itself was a turning point of the story and later the plot started to revolve a lot around Eren‘s Founder. Mikasa’s words became a big push in the development of the story and they strongly affected the whole narrative. Mikasa’s presence was important.

How does pride help us understand the concept of freedom?

Pride is being able to not be ashamed of your life and yourself. It’a about embracing your identity, doing what you want for yourself and accepting yourself as you are. When you actually accept and free yourself from the boundaries that keep you, you are finally free. You finally achieve freedom.

Another concept that Mikasa portrays is love. The love that goes beyond all boundaries, conditions and dimensions. The love that’s unconditional and free. The love that motivates you to live.

Love for Mikasa is a motivation. She fights for people she loves and it’s another part of her pride. She knows the worth of her people, because she simply loves them. She wants to remember them, because she loves them.

Mikasa’s fear is loosing people she loves, because in the past she couldn’t fight for her parents. But her fear pushes her to fight and win. Mikasa shows people that you can stay independent and free, while being in Iove with someone.

Mikasa saved many people out of her free will, she knows that they are precious to someone. Even if they can’t fight, Mikasa will do it for them. She doesn’t want others to lose their loved ones as she did.

She saved Historia from a titan that tried to attack her. If Historia died on that day, we wouldn’t find out about Reiss/Fritz family, more about monarchy on island and have Eren’s further development.

Moving to more recent instances where Mikasa’s love was important are ch.123 and ch.138.

Eren, who was conflicted about the rumbling plan, wanted to find a reason to not do it. He wanted someone who will change his mind and that someone was Mikasa.

Mikasa’s feelings for Eren could change the outcome. She could affect Eren’s actions and, again, the plot would be much much different.

Lastly, her choice to disagree with Eren’s idea of forgetting him and continue to fight, made Ymir smile. Her love and pride impacted Ymir Fritz herself, a person who was trapped in Paths for 2000 years and tried to find an answer for “What’s love?”.

How love can connected to freedom?

When you love someone and don’t tie your love to some conditions, limitations and boundaries, you give the person the right to choose and act as they desire to. Having the right to choose itself is freedom. Loving someone doesn’t make you less independent.

Besides being the symbol of pride and love, Mikasa helps us understand and enrich the world wilding within AoT universe.

As we remember, Mikasa’s mother was a descendant of Hizuru’s shogun, who moved his people to Paradis. However, as time passed by Asians were hunted down and Mikasa’s mother had to live in mountains, where she met an Ackerman and had Mikasa.

Hizuru had an important role in the last arc as Kiyomi proposed rumbling as a way to secure the island for 50 years. Yes, Mikasa was used as a reason to come to the island, but, nevertheless, her bloodline was important to make Eren come up with his current plan.

And, of course, we can’t forget about the Ackermans. The whole existence of Levi, Mikasa and Kenny explores the concept of Ymir and this whole titan things as Ackerman are a byproduct of titan science, who are immune to memory manipulation and possess a great amount of physical strength.

But besides their relation to titan science, Ackermans also contribute to freedom, because they are the freest people on the island and their bloodline is free from Ymir as they can’t be turned into titans or manipulated by Founder’s powers.

Without Ackermans we would never know about the struggles of previous Founders (Kenny and Uri), the concept of meaningful death and having no regrets (Levi and Erwin), and unconditionally loving someone and yet opposing that person (Mikasa and Eren).

How does Mikasa push the story forward?

My answer is...Mikasa’s relationship with Eren is the biggest force that pushes the story. Again, AoT is a character driven story, where the relationship between characters matters.

Every time, when these two have a heart-to-heart moment, it’s always the turning point of the story (ch.50, ch.123 and ch.138).

The reason why Eren tried to get stronger and learn to control his power is to give his friends and loved ones a peaceful and happy life with no hate or threat. As Kruger and Grisha said:

“If you want to save Mikasa, Armin and others, carry out this mission to the end and learn to control this power”.

Even when he publicly turned himself into a titan, it was to protect Mikasa and Armin from cannon fire.

All what Eren does is for his loved ones and Mikasa is definitely one of those people.

Saying that Mikasa is irrelevant, unnecessary or doesn’t push the story is debatable, because her characters carries a lot of thematic and symbolic meaning. Her relationship with other people and presence are important and helps to unleash more plot points.

Isayama didn’t make her the centerpiece of the story and his literal trademark just to be considered useless.

[melismaticmadness]

INTERVIEW

Request: “Something in the lines of reader playing reggies gf on the shows s2 and she becomes bffs with charlie but people keep shipping them. Something in like interview style or so....”

Description: FLUFF

1811 Words

Warnings: one curse word!

Charlie x Reader, Featuring Jeremy

Hope you like it!!

Press was always an exciting time as an actor, but even more so with this cast because of what happened before press events for season one. Their virtual press was great, but you can tell how excited they all were to experience it together this time around. Julie and the Phantoms was the best job I had gotten since moving out to LA. Honestly, it could be my big break. I was playing opposite Jeremy as his love interest, but our off-screen relationship was strictly platonic. Obviously, he and Carolynn are married and she is the sweetest. Jeremy is more of a mentor to me.

I sat in between Charlie and Jeremy for our first interview of the day when a production assistant came in and prepped us for the topics for this interview. Each interview has a slightly different focus, so it’s helpful that we know before we get started. The soft-spoken man raddled off some talking points: Charlie’s sleeves, Jeremy’s new character arc, my relationships/experience joining the cast, and then all of us would have time to add in stories of our choice if there was time. Easy. This cast makes it really easy to connect and bond. They are a family and I am so lucky to be a member of it now.

What I didn’t expect was to get so close to Charlie during rehearsals and filming in Vancouver. The two of us were instantly inseparable. He came to watch my film on set, I came to watch him. We rehearsed our lines together almost every night after long days, and Owen even considered me his other roommate because of all the nights I was asleep on their couch. Hanging out with Charlie felt like we had known each other our entire lives, but it had only been about a year.

Interviewer: “So, y/n, you seem really well connected to this cast, even though you’re sort of the new kid in the group. Would you mind telling me how you felt about joining this project?”

Y/N: “Oh I definitely felt welcomed right into the group. I remember my first night in Vancouver, Charlie came to check out my apartment, Owen came too, and I remember Charlie and I trying to prank Owen when he fell asleep on the couch but it was an epic fail. We had water and shaving cream all over the floor and ourselves, oh my god it was a mess, but that’s kinda the proof of how fast I became part of the group. Night one and they were already including me in their fun. The same goes with the girls, Jadah, Madi, Sav, Tori- we immediately were meeting for breakfast before filming together and having movie nights. It was the best welcome I could have imagined, knowing how close they all were from last season.”

Interviewer: “Jeremy, what was it like having this new energy come in, especially to shake things up for your character Reggie, who really was much of the comedic relief last season, but now has this mutually flirty relationship with y/n’s character?”

Jeremy: “Well, it was great having y/n come in and it allowed us all to explore Reggie outside of his quirky one-liners. It’s not that hard acting opposite, y/n, the talent they bring in was insane and we got along really well so it made it a lot of fun exploring Reggie as somewhat of a ‘ladies man’.”

Interviewer: “Yes it was fun getting to see more of who Reggie is, or was? Spoiler alert if you haven’t seen season one, Reggie is dead. All the boys are dead. Anyway, speaking of seeing more of something- Charlie, I noticed the sleeves on all your shirts this season were barely there. Is this a Charlie characteristic that just carried over to show off or was this specifically written for Luke?”

Charlie: “Oh gosh, haha. I think it’s a little bit of both. I definitely bring a lot of myself to Luke, but even in season one, Soyon, our amazing costume and wardrobe supervisor, was cutting the sleeves off Luke’s shirts. I think it played into his 1995 bad boy persona, and now it’s just him.”

Y/N: “and you just like showing off...hahaha!”

Charlie: “If you got it, flaunt it!” With that, all three of us and the interviewer were cracking up laughing and Charlie was flexing which kept us going a minute longer.

Interviewer: “AH,” they sighed, “Y/N, the internet is freaking out about you, truly, because of some photos of you with Mr. Gillespie over here. Let me read some things for you - ‘my heart is broken because I can’t have Charlie, but at least y/n can. I ship it,’ under an Instagram photo of you two the caption reads ‘ship it so hard it’s like the Titanic,’ which is my favorite. It’s too funny. So my question is, what is going on here? Is there a secret showmance that you’re hiding behind Reggie?”

Charlie and I are now laughing hysterically again. I don’t think the interviewer realizes how nervous our laughing sounds compared to before, but hopefully, it’s not noticeable to fans or the rest of the cast. I wasn’t expecting to get questions about Charlie and my relationship when I was supposed to be talking about my character, the whole experience, and all my scenes with Jeremy.

Y/N: “Oh no, no, no. We are friends! Nothing is going on,” I looked over at Charlie who had his eyes locked on me most admiringly. He was going to let me handle this however I wanted. “Charlie and I just happened to click right away during rehearsals and now I feel like he’s the older brother I never had!”

Charlie looked a little hurt at that ‘brother’ comment, but he jumped in to echo what I had said.

Charlie: “Ya know, the fans are so great. They love to keep up with our lives and find little hidden clues in the show about the backstory, and I think that’s just what happened with our friendship. We’re best friends, we have so many inside jokes, we hang out a LOT. But, Nah, nothing is going on here. It’s cute though that they ship us! Look out, Jere! I’m stealing your girl!.”

Interviewer: “You heard it here first everyone, Mr. Gillespie isn’t off the market! Thank you all for your time today. Everyone make sure to check out season two of Julie and the Phantoms, now on Netflix!”

*****************************

After a long first day of press, I was finally walking back into my hotel room in New York when my phone went off.

I tossed my stuff on the couch and plopped down to see what I had missed all day. Charlie had just texted me asking to meet him on the roof.

“The roof?!” I grunted, “How did he even get on the roof?” Back out the door, I followed signs to the roof. Swinging the door open once I got up there, my breath was taken away. New York City right at dusk, with the cool breeze hitting me, was so beautiful.

“Gillespie, are we allowed to be up here?”

“Kenny said we’re less likely to be followed or have our picture taken together if we were up here and came up separately. So, if we get in trouble, it’s on Kenny...”

“The view is amazing. Not surprised Kenny knew about it.” I said as I went to look out over the glass barrier at the edge of the building. We looked out in silence for a minute or so when I heard Charlie exhale.

“Y/n, what was that today?” he said running his hands through his hair.

“What was what today?”

“That whole ‘Charlie is my brother’ thing,” he made his voice go up in pitch to mimic my voice when he said it and I could tell it was bugging him, but I didn’t know why.

“I was caught off guard...I mean we’re friends.. but I figured no one would believe that if I didn’t squash the rumors right there. Sorry if it was like, emasculating, or made it seem like you don’t have any game, lol.” I playfully hip bumped him to get him to laugh a little and it worked but there was still something on his mind.

“Char, is your manager upset with what I said? I can fix it tomorrow, I’ll figure something out-” I said tilting my head in front of his so he was looking at me instead of the view.

“No, y/n, no, it’s okay..” he hesitated, “but is that really what’s going on?”

It felt like the wind was knocked out of me at that moment and all I could do was slide my back down the glass and sit on the roof. My head was in my hands and I didn’t want to say the wrong thing next.

“Hey, hey, I’m sorry if I caught you off guard,” Charlie said squatting down to my level. “I just thought..maybe you felt something, anything, telling you this was more than a friend to friend relationship..” Now he was rubbing my back. Damn, this boy is my best friend.

“Charlie, I- I don’t want to lose my job. I love working with you and with everyone,” I took a deep breath, “but I can’t say I never thought about it. I have definitely thought about it.”

“Okay, so what are you thinking in that head of yours?”

“I’m thinking that I care about you and that I have for a while but didn’t want to admit it to myself until now,” looking up at Charlie I could tell he was fighting to hold back a smile.

“Kenny, won’t fire you. I talked to him in LA before we went up to Vancouver because I didn’t want him to be disappointed in me because of how I felt.”

“You told him in LA?! He’s probably been watching us and laughing at us for MONTHS. Oh my god.”

“No, it’s cool. He just warned me to make sure I wanted to be more than friends because he didn’t want to lose you.”

“Wow. Okay.” The weight I didn’t even know I was holding, had been lifted off my shoulders. “The fans really do know us better than we know ourselves.”

We both laughed and Charlie finally settled down right next to me.

“Look, I’m not saying we rush into anything. I knew I had to say something before the opportunity was gone. Now that the show’s out, you’re going to have guys banging down your door for a date.”

“I guess it’s a good thing the only guy I am looking for is you then, hmm?”

“Thank god for that interview…” Charlie said under his breath.

[naktergalen]

Rivamika Fic Suggestions List 2

Hey there again! It’s been a while since my last rivamika post and I apologies for that. I caught the reading bug and have just been hitting book after book. I might be doing a book of the month suggestion starting in March. I’m still thinking about it but if that is something your interested in let me know. Or if you just want book suggestions just message or ask me. But for now, I’m back with my second Rivamika Fic Suggestions List.

First of all, I want to thank you for all the comments and messages I received from my first list! I think it has over 150 notes now which is crazy for me. I was going to be ecstatic if it got like 10 likes or something hahaha! I’ve enjoyed talking to some of you about fics and other snk stuff. Feel free to do the same after this post! I know I take awhile to respond but swear I get there eventually.

Same rules as last time. I’ve split this list up into four categories. I wanted to let people know the status of some of these fics in case they did not want to start an incomplete or in progress story. All of these fics can be found on AO3. I’m going to try to link them but we will see how tumblr acts today. If you have any fic suggestions for me, feel free to message me with them and I can add them on to the next list. If any author sees their story on here and wants me to take it off the list, please let me know I don’t wish to make anyone feel uncomfortable. Also, last thing, I highly recommend leaving comments and kudos to the authors. I know that they greatly appreciate it and it helps them with improving their writing through feedback. Okay shutting up now, ON WITH THE LIST!

DISCLAIMER: I know that not all of these stories are not for everyone, these are just my opinions and suggestions.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Completed:

- Thunder Clouds

Author: K_Lionheart

Rating: Mature

Sometimes I like to go to the very back of the Rivamika archive on AO3 and look for fics that have gotten buried over time. Low and behold what I have found lol! I enjoyed the emotional roller coaster when I was reading this fic, though sometimes I wanted to pull my hair out. Set after the titans are gone, humanity has to repopulate so arranged couples by the monarch are made to be wed. While this new order is being enforced, Mikasa and Levi are trying to work out their strained relationship. A slow burn with angst that will have you staying up till 3am dying to know what happens next. I know that there is a sequel to this fic called Nimbus and I’m slowly working my way through that one. Honestly, it will probably go on my next list.

- Red is the Only Colour

Author: mongoose_bite

Rating: Mature

A cute fic that was a quick but wild ride. A Little Red Riding Hood type of AU where Mikasa is a hunter of some sorts traveling through a town. I don’t want to say how Levi plays into all of this since it gets border line spoilers but just know that he is there. It is an opening ending fic for the author to come back if they plan on doing so but it can be interpreted in different ways. All in all, a fic worth of the quick read.

- Sing Me a Song

Author: LazyTrash

Rating: Mature

First I have to get this off my chest, I love the author’s name hahaha! I freakin wished I would have thought of that for mine! Anyway, this fic is wonderful but I will warn you that its a gut punch. If you like hurt and angst put together, then this is the story for you. I love these types of fics because I adore them so much but they hurt me in my soul. I don’t know what that says about me but whatever. I don’t want to delve into the story too much for spoilers but I would suggest rivamika fans to check this one out.

- Midnight Musings

Author: Raewyll

Rating: Teen

I just started to read Raewyll’s fics so I’m slowly working my way through all her works. This one caught my eye and I had to read it. This is a cute take on a chance meeting through texting the wrong number. I love the way Levi and Mikasa’s relationship blossoms into something more serious after causally texting back and forth. It’s one of those stories that I can only describe as being cute as shit! I’m definitely going to be checking out more of Raewyll’s fic in the future.

Ongoing:

- Beyond the Walls

Author: helena3190

Rating: Matue

If you love RIvamika angst, then look no further than this baby right here. This is currently my favorite ongoing fic. It was supposed to be a shorter story, but the author keeps adding more chapters so I’m not complaining hahaha! This fic is pretty much how I would *personally* picture canon Mikasa on how she would deal with realizing that she’s falling in love with someone. Its mostly told in the perspective of Mikasa as she is dealing with the after effects of war and trying to figure out what should she do with her life now that she is no longer a solider. Her feeling for Levi come with a lot of confusion as she’s discovering emotions that she has never felt before. She has a hard time pinpointing on what exactly describes her relationship with him. I’m anxiously waiting for the final chapter for this fic and dying to see how it will end for Mikasa and Levi.

- After the War

Author: loneackerman

Rating: Mature

I am loving this rivamika slow burn fic right here. Its similar to Beyond the Walls but I think the author adds their own taste of the 1920s into it. Set after the war is over (obviously), Mikasa and Levi have to figure out what they are going to do the rest of their lives. It has great tension, a perfectly paced gradual romance and just the right amount of humor to combat the emotional turmoil it puts you through. Again in my opinion, this is close to how I would realistically perceive Levi and Mikasa’s relationship evolving. I’m really enjoying this story and I’m looking forward to more updates to come!

- The Sound of Lightning

Author: LycheeGreenTea

Rating: Mature

A new fic that is just getting started but I can tell that what the author has in store is going to be interesting. Set several years after the end of the war, Levi and Mikasa are loving parents to a single child. Their peaceful life comes to an end when the family has a threat against them. There are not many long fics about Mikasa and Levi being parent so I was very happy when this one popped up on the AO3 feed. An exciting adventure awaits the Ackerman family now and I can’t wait to see where this fic goes in the future. There are three chapters as of now so head over there and check it out.

Incomplete:

- Home

Author: MissErikaCourt

Rating: Mature

One of the gems I found when diving back into the Rivamika archive. Ugh I HATE that this fic is incomplete!!! Its a good long fic but I’m greedy and I need more! I will give a warning first that this fic does contain heavy themes. Mikasa and Levi are in the underground to fight against a criminal ring. This story is a slow burn with action and emotional trauma. There is a wonderfully written OC that you easily get attached to its not even funny. Even though its not completed, I would highly recommend checking it out. I still have three more chapters to finish but I had to put it on this list. I know that I’m going to be pissed once I reach the last chapter written. If someone know MissErikaCourt, let her know that she needs to comeback to finish this masterpiece!

- Shiver

Author: bornsinner

Rating: Mature

Another one that I DISPISE its incomplete!!! Ugh such a great Office AU. It’s everything that I would want in an Office AU setting. Mikasa struggles between her committed long term relationship and her growing attraction (which starts to develop into some feelings) to her boss, Levi. Its hot, sexy and intriguing and it pisses me off that its not finished! The author writes each chapter as a one-shot but collectively together they tell the whole story. Highly recommend even though its so short. BORNSINNER where ever you are in the universe I hope you come back to finish this!!!

- Two Lines

Author: Crejhov

Rating: Mature

When this was getting updated it was my favorite on-going Rivamika fic. I would find myself checking to see if the author updated with a new chapter every week! The unplanned pregnancy trope is a classic one, but Crejhov does a fantastic job on keeping readers enthralled with soo many anticipated character meet up that are bound to cause hurdles for our expecting parents. This story is told from the perspectives of Mikasa and Levi in order for us to understand where their mindsets are as they plan for their expecting child and deal with their relationship. AHHHHH I want more of this!!! I was soo excited to see where this awkward journey was going to take Mikasa and Levi. CREJHOV COME BACK PLEASE I KNOW YOU HAVE WORK BUT PLEAAASEEEE! I NEEEEEEDDDD!!!

- Cabin Fever

Author: AmayaOkami

Rating: Mature

All I should have to say about this is that its written by AmayaOkami and that should explain it. Amaya is the one that gave us the beautiful incomplete rivamika fic Romance and Rivalry. I just adore her writing. Levi and Mikasa relationship evolves as they are standing guard over the arrested Kenny Ackerman. Secrets are discover about the Ackermans and it gets pretty steamy between our two favs. Great fluff and great sexual tension that leaves you wanting more chapters! Again AmayaOkami where ever you went I hope for some miracle that you come back and complete this one too!

One-Shot:

- Jade

Author: shulkie

Rating: Mature

This one-shot feels like I read a novel, it has such a great storyline. An arranged marriage between Mikasa and Levi leaves the relationship strained in the beginning. Their relationship evolves over time as Levi patiently brings down Mikasa’s wall. With smut added for all of your one-shot needs. Definitely worth the read in my opinion.

- What Remains

Author: Mirime

Rating: Mature

This one-shot gives us a glimpse into the secret relationship that Levi and Mikasa have been having while there are still scouts. This fic is sad but I would say it has a bittersweet ending. I think this was supposed to be part of a collection but I can’t find the rest of them. Still a great read by itself.

- Agape

Author: alienheartattack (Sanneke)

Rating: Mature

This fic is cute as shit! A College AU where Mikasa and Levi are childhood friends. Levi has to deal with Mikasa being at the same college as him while he is struggling with his changing feelings towards a grown up Mikasa. Worth the read as I said cute as shit, leaves you all warm and fuzzy lol!

- As Seen in Shadows

Author: MoraLeeWright

Rating: Explicit

FUCKING MORA! LEE! WRIGHT! UFFFFGGHHH Fuck I’m in love with her writing style. I really have nothing to say more that just go read it! Its hot and sexy and the sexual tension is off the fucking charts in this one. Its just MoraLeeWright smut thats all I can say. It’s great! JUST READ IT LMAO!

- Remedy

Author: NSummer

Rating: Mature

Another hot smut one-shot coming your way! Levi and Mikasa have had an ongoing affair and this just recounts their first time together. Its just some good ol’ Rivamika smut that I think that everyone in this community would enjoy.

- Nutty: Drunk in Love

Author: Hallow17

Rating: Mature

A fun smut to read about Mikasa getting “revenge” on her asshole boss, Levi. Things don’t go the way she plans as things get a little heated in the sexy way. A quick smut that I think is perfect for a little Rivamika crave.

- Spicy: Jalapeno

Author: Hallow17

Rating: Explicit

Another fun smut to read by Hallow17. Levi has been stressed out at work and Mikasa finds a way to help him get his mind off it (if you know what i mean). Again perfect for a Rivamika quick fix.

[stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale]

Top 5 Character Deaths That Made Me Side-Eye the Writers

There are a lot of character deaths in TWDG... obviously. It a series about the literal dead walkin’ around and eating people, so as you’re playing, one of your favorite characters is bound to meet such a fate. To give this series credit, it does have quite a few well-executed deaths that, while I hate them, they have a purpose in the story that works. 

The best example of this is Lee’s death-- we all hate that Lee dies, but it’s well-done. It serves its purpose, it acted as both a shock and a slow-burn for the player, and left us all an emotional mess. 

However, we’re not talking about the “good” deaths today. No, we’re talking about the character deaths that are poorly executed, cheap, lazy, and just plain dumb... they’re the deaths that make me side-eye the writing team and wonder what the fuck happened there. 

By the way, it was reeeeeeal fun narrowing it down to only five deaths, because it seems like for every great death, there’s at least two bad ones.

5. Mariana and her death that ruined ANF’s potential story

I’ve talked at length about Mariana’s death and how much I hate it. Like, I get it TWDG... you love your sudden deaths and you’re so edgy for killing off a child character because you’ve never done that before... but maybe consider things a little further before pulling the trigger?

Yeah, killing off Mariana the way they did got a reaction outta people when it happened, and we got the burial scene if you stayed with Clementine... but you didn’t consider the future of this storyline? You pretend you did by name dropping Mari when it’s convenient, but then throw it out the window when it comes to characters like David or Gabe.

Listen, I know that ANF is a mess and what’s the point in telling the mess that it’s a mess? Well, I’m still annoyed at the writers for wasting the biggest opportunity for this game’s story, something that could’ve saved it from being a mess.

And I get it, you gotta make a death quota, so instead of killing Mariana off... why not kill Kate off instead? Oh no? We don’t get the stupid love triangle that no one actually enjoys or is engaged in?

Instead of this dumb story about Javi falling in love with his sister-in-law but oh no David’s back.... we could’ve had a story about Javi losing Kate and being left to care for two children by himself. Mariana and Gabe are all he has left, and he going to do whatever he can to keep them safe all while the three of them are mourning Kate.

Then David comes back, and he immediately takes these kids away from Javi.

There is no stupid storyline with Kate, but an actual conflict between two brothers who were never on the same page and two kids caught in the middle.

Plus, Mariana herself as a character really could’ve brought something to the table. She could’ve brought out a lot in David’s character since she seems to be more like Javi.

Her death is just... annoying. It’s frustrating when you know they could’ve told a better story with her alive, something ANF desperately needed.

My side-eye is one of disappointment and annoyance.

4.Luke and his easily preventable drowning

Ugh.... where to even begin? 

Luke really just gets butchered as a character throughout the second half of S2, and the writers end up demolishing the set up they placed at the beginning of the season for a Luke vs Kenny thing. 

Why? Well, Luke vs Kenny was the initial ending they were gonna go with, but because this season went through all kinds of bullshit, they scrapped that and replaced Luke with Jane... and it’s so dumb.

Hell, it kind of ruins a lot. Not only did it ruin Luke, a character that many players loved, but it forces the new character of Jane, who we only get two episodes to get to know, so they can fade Luke out. 

But that’s not all. 

His death is so... ugh. It’s stupid, okay? Stupid and easily preventable, but noooo... we gotta kill Luke off for reasons because all we know is that S1 killed off a lot of characters and we’re gonna do that again but worse because we failed to understand what made those deaths impactful in the first place. 

Lots of character death and despair = good game. 

Yep, uh-huh. Okay. 

So we all know that Luke’s leg is hurt, yeah? Great, so you’d think that the group that has an injured man and a new born baby would be extra cautious and go around the frozen lake. Yeah, Arvo says that it’s safe but let’s not take any chances. 

But no. We gotta go across like a group of dingdongs and whattya know-- the ice begins to crack beneath Luke’s feet. Now, even here, we coulda got him outta there safely... if Bonnie wasn’t a dingus. 

Think about it. If we shot the walkers who were coming towards Luke with all their weight, he could’ve slowly scooted away, even if he’s already fallen through. BUT NO. Bonnie either guilts Clementine into going towards him, adding more weight to the already fragile ice as Luke tells her to stop, or Bonnie will go over there herself... and she’s a full grown woman soooo her weight breaks the ice. 

Good job, you dipsticks. 

When you have to make your characters into morons in order to move the plot along and kill off characters....maybe do some rethinking, yeah? 

 3. Mitch and his shock-value death

This death is so dumb... so incredibly, dumb. Even now, I can’t help but give full side-eye to the writers every time one of them tries to justify this death. 

I’m sorry, but this death didn’t have the impact you wanted it to have. And because there’s always someone who says, “Mitch didn’t die for shock value, you just can’t tell the difference between a good and bad death” lemme tell you a thing. 

What was the point of killing of Mitch? Well, according to those who worked on TFS, it was to show that Lilly and the delta are serious. This is when shit gets real, and when Lilly is established as a bad bitch who will do whatever it takes to get what she wants. We should be scared of her now. 

Except no. 

This scene doesn’t tell me that Lilly is a bad bitch. It tells me that she has good reflexes, and going off her reaction after killing Mitch.... I’m not fucking scared of this dumbass. If anything, this scene says more about Mitch than it does Lilly. It says that Mitch is also a dumbass for running at her like he did. 

Y’know what would’ve been more impactful? If Mitch didn’t immediately get stabbed in the throat, but instead, actually got her on the ground and struggled with Lilly. Then, Lilly gets the upper hand and when you think she’s about to send Mitch to the cart, she fucking murders him in front of everyone to prove a point. 

There’s no remorse, it’s slow enough for Lilly to actually process what’s happening and show that she does know what she’s doing. That would scare me. That would show me that these people aren’t fucking around and they’re willing to kill some of them if that means getting the rest for their army. 

You still get your shock value death but it actually does something other than kill a character off. 

I’m really supposed to believe this is the same Lilly who can order to have Louis’ tongue cut off? 

But it doesn’t end there. No, no... there’s another part to Mitch’s death that annoys me, and it’s how insistent everyone was that his death is going to have a greater impact on the second half of the story. It had a purpose within the story, we did it for a reason.

...I mean, it has an impact on Willy and his arc for the second half. 

But that’s it. 

Oh... oh, what’s that? Oh, you were referring to those throwaway lines about Tenn? “He was screwing up again, just like when he got Mitch killed.”

OOOOOH.... I see, that’s what Mitch’s death was really amounting to... some lines dealing with whether or not AJ shot Tenn. Well, I guess I was wrong. Mitch’s death wasn’t just shock value. It really had a big purpose. In fact, Mitch’s death has the biggest impact on the series. Fuck Marlon and Brody’s deaths, and Lilly and James, and hell, fuck Tenn’s death, too. They’re meaningless compared to Mitch’s death. You did it, guys. You really did it. 

....Okay, I’m done. I’m just... salty, I fully admit. 

Being serious again, Mitch’s death is probably the worst in TFS as far as unpreventable deaths go and the real reason I side-eye the writers is because they tried to tell us it was going to have this huge impact in the future and it just... didn’t. 

2. Nick and his offscreen death.

I’m sorry, but what the fuck happened here? Why- what are you- how the hell did this happen??

I’m actually baffled. 

Someone wrote this. 

They set up at the end of ep3 that Nick is shot.... then ep4 comes and we find him like this. I just... did someone on the writing staff not wanna do their job that day? Someone was working on the story and at the last minute forgot Nick was a character, so they were like “Eh, he’s not important anyway, and it adds to the shittiness of everything so we’ll pretend this was 100% intentional.” 

Nick was one of your more interesting characters and you really thought killing him off like this was the way to go, huh? 

Like, his first death is shitty, but in the very least it kind of makes sense. 

But this? 

This is horrible. If I wrote this, I’d be embarrassed. 

I just... I’m so tired of S2 right now. 

This is at #2 because it’s just lazy, bad writing. At least with Luke, Mitch, and Mariana, we got to see their deaths and they had some, even if just a little, impact on the story afterward. 

But Nick? 

Nothin’.

Even Luke, who is the closest person to Nick, name drops him maybe twice? It’s just.... nothing. 

And yeah, you can come at me with the “oh well not every death has to have meaning!” 

This is a story, okay? This is a story crafted with characters who have arcs by people who wanted it to be a success, and usually that means having satisfying conclusions.... or, intentionally unsatisfying if that acts as a natural conclusion to their story or is a reoccurring theme. 

Nick’s death is just the writers falling flat on their faces and hoping no one would notice. 

1. Sarah and both of her shitty deaths. 

Ugh. UGH.

Okay. 

I’m not even side-eyeing anymore-- I’m fully glaring.

I don’t have to tell you how shitty both of Sarah’s deaths are. We all played S2, we all know that no matter what you do, Sarah dies in ep4. You can try to save her, she lives a little bit longer, and then falls to her death... and both deaths have her being devoured alive by walkers. 

Now, this is enough to annoy me. First off, I guess my choices don’t really matter. Sure, you can justify this as one of those “sometimes you can’t save someone, no matter how hard you try” ...and fine. Sure, if they had bothered to execute that point well, then great. 

But I disagree that the writers had that in mind when they were killing Sarah off. 

In fact, I know what what going on in their brains-- “God, can’t wait to kill Sarah off! Give us any reason to do it! She’s so damn annoying!”

The writers have openly admitted that a lot of the team were just waiting to kill Sarah off, waiting for any reason, so when the major part of the community who take everything at surface level because why think? kept complaining about Sarah, they jumped on the opportunity to kill her off.... but the deaths are dumb.

Listen, this isn’t like when the writers planned on killing Lee off. You can plan a death and even be excited about it because you’re excited about the story and execution of it all. You can be excited to see the heartbreaking end of this character’s story that you crafted because you know you put everything you had into it.

These deaths were lazy and the product of a team who didn’t care about the character. Sarah dies and no one cares. 

Sure, you leave her to die the first time and Jane does her thing about how you can’t save everyone, she talks about Jaime, and then Luke exposes himself as the fake Luke by agreeing that leaving Sarah behind was probably the right thing. Like what?

Now as much as I hate that first one, the second one is even worse. 

For some reason, Sarah is standing in the corner while they’re trying to fight off the walkers instead of being inside with Rebecca... y’know, where she would be if this was logical. 

Then the deck breaks and Sarah falls, trapped under a pile of wood. Jane, despite being the one who sees Sarah as a liability, goes down there to try and help her after Clementine begs her to. 

But because the writers don’t know what they’re doing, Jane gets hit by a random piece of wood and can’t get Sarah out in time, leaving her to be eaten alive by walkers. 

Then AJ is born and no one cares about Sarah ever again. 

I just.... 

Could’ve had an interesting story arc with a character who just lost her father in such a gruesome way, a character that already deals with anxiety and other problems that you never bothered to explain other than “she isn’t like Clementine” and you could’ve had her grow. 

But I guess that would’ve taken effort.... and screen time away from Kenny, and god forbid we ever do that. 

---

Honorable Mentions

-Ava falling to her death in the most comedic way possible, made even more hilarious by David’s two seconds of mourning. -Omid.... because hope is dead. Do you get it? Hope? is dead? Because Omid means hope? Do you get it?? -Honestly you could put most of S2′s deaths on this list because oh my god. -Ben because I’m still a salty bitch.  -I also wanna add Louis and Violet’s deaths on the bridge mostly because they die, Clem is sad for two seconds, Tenn says sorry, and then no one cares. Yeah, yeah, they mourned off screen and I call that lazy bullshit. -Hell, throw Tenn’s death on here, too, for similar reasons-- no one but Louis/Violet and AJ seem to care. Even Clementine is like “whatever” after it happens. 

---

Y’know, picking this one seemed like a good idea at the time, but by now I’m just annoyed by all these dumb deaths. So, what are your thoughts? Are there any deaths that make you question the writers that didn’t end up on the list? Do you agree or disagree with my list? Lemme know, we can have a friendly discussion about it. 

Have any suggestions for future T5F’s? Feel free to send ‘em in! :D

---

Next week’s T5F Top 5 Favorite Louis Moments

[blxetsi]

modern levi ackerman dating headcanons

lowercase intended !

levi ackerman x gn!reader

- firstly, lets get love language out of the way

- i think his love language would be acts of service

- so like, he'll brew your coffee for you and set out your favourite mug when he goes to the kitchen to make his tea (bc we all know he'd wake up earlier than you 🙄)

- or he'll pick up a muffin from your favourite bakery on his way home

- or if you ask him to remind you to do something later, he's immediately writing it out on a sticky note and sticking it somewhere youd notice

- he notices youre getting low on your favourite moisturizer ? or lipbalm ? he's taking a picture of the packaging and getting it the next time he drives past walmart or smth

- he just does little things that help make your day better

- now i feel like a lot of people say this already, but he is NOT very comfortable with public displays of affection

- its not that he doesnt like it when you touch him, or hold his hand, or kiss his cheek, he just gets flustered and feels like everyone is watching you two

- but one thing he does allow is looping your arms together while you walk, especially in crowded streets

- it doesnt mean he doesnt like being close with you, he just hates doing it public. when youre alone ? hes ALL OVER YOU.

- "will you play with my hair ?"

- "levi im working."

- "okay can you multitask ?" motherfucker 😐

- doesnt matter if hes the big spoon or little spoon, just being close to you is enough.

- also would try and get used to your love language

- if your love language is physical touch hes genuinely surprised by how many times you put his hands on him each day (NOT in a sexual way) like even his mother never touched him as much and he's a momma's boy 😳

- when you wake up your coming out to the kitchen to fill your coffee, but not before kissing the top of his head as you walk past

- then youre guzzling down your coffee like its water before putting it in the sink and walking back, petting his head in the process

- you'll hug him while hes cooking, or brushing his teeth. youre giving him kisses before he leaves and when he comes home, just little small acts of love, but it happens so frequently that levi cant help but notice it

- your love language is verbal affirmations ? youre getting your coffee while saying "goodmorning beautiful"

- "i love yous" are thrown at him a lot, they never fail to make him feel better

- youll compliment this man and he short circuits for a second, quickly gets used to it as time goes on

- also too i think he'd be taller in a modern au, but not very very tall like erwin, im talking 5'7" to 5'9"

- and he's fine with his height, it doesn't bother him that much, he's the average height of a man so what's the big deal ?

- also he really doesnt care about height either. youre shorter than him ? cool, that means he can bend down to give you little forehead kisses. around the same height as him ? awesome, that makes it easier for him to give you a peck on the lips. taller than him ? mf he'll climb you like a tree if he has to. really doesn't care.

- also doesn't have a preferences for body type or anything. he thinks that character is way more important than looks 100% and he'll always find different things about you beautiful. your laugh is weird ? k now he's making you two watch a john mulaney special to so youll laugh. hate your belly and wanna lose weight, he's holding you and telling you to only lose weight if you genuinely want to be "healthier" and not so you get skinny. your acne scars bother you ? he's kissing your cheeks a lot more than usual, but you can't complain. literally Loves Every Part of You

- also i think his family would absolutely ADORE YOU and his friends for that matter

- miss kuchel is pulling you into a hug the first time she sees you, and is so accomodating and sweet. shes genuinely interested in your interests and what you do for a living, and will NOT hesitate to get levi's baby pictures out if you ask.

- his uncle ? he probably wont be there for the family dinner, but then kuchel's gonna call him up like "levi's s/o ?? absolutely spectacular !!" and then hes like "huh maybe i gotta come visit to see the runt and his lover"

- also i think in a modern au, kuchel wouldve gotten really sick when levi is a boy, so kenny would have came home to take care of his sister and try and take care of levi. in the end she got better, and he went back to his own home, but now she requests that he come for at least one family holidy so they can all spend it together

- BUT back to mr. ackerman

- idk what he'd do in modern times, i used to think he'd be a good english professor for a university, but then i saw a headcanon that he'd go into law school and become a lawyer, and honestly ?? it makes sense

- after a long day at work he just wants to come home to you, he'll find you on the couch reading or doing some of your own work, so he'll just slip off his coat and blazer and undo his tie while slipping off his shoes by the door. before plopping his head in your lap and requesting you to play with his hair.

- if you don't live with him hes taking a shower and then immediately calling you asking to come over. if you can ?? great he'll be in bed waiting to be spooned. if not, thats fine, but levi would like to facetime and rant.

- also has the absolute WORST road rage

- "that little prick cut me off !"

- "levi he's taking his driver's test !"

- "so ? i hope that instructor doesn't give the idiot a pass 🙄" and then will immediately honk his horn at the poor kid.

- also wouldnt be a clean freak like in canonverse. his whole "everything has to be spotless" stuff stems from trauma, specifically being left in an apartment with his decaying mother for weeks on end, but since kuchel is alive that never happens

- were things a little hectic during the time she was sick ? sure ! but kenny always tried to tidy up a bit when he saw it was getting to levi.

- levi just likes things to be neat and tidy, he doesnt do a deep clean of his apartment every two weeks, but always makes sure to clean up his messes as soon as they happen

- also doesnt like to fight

- his mom raised him with the idea that communication is key, and always encouraged him to "explain why hes upset" so they could work together to come up with a solution

- its something hes taken with him to adulthood, and even though sometimes he sounds like hes talking to a child when hes trying to get you to "use your words" he really doesnt mean to

- if youre yelling at him he'll stand there like 😐 and wait until youre out of breath so he can say "okay lets talk about this"

- is also very handy

- have a hole in your wall ? hes coming over to fix it

- need a lightbulb changed ? hes got u dont worry

- you need to assemble a piece of furniture ? he glances at the step by step guide once before hes putting it together

- hes so great at that stuff, and you only have kenny to thank

- literally when kenny first came to stay with levi and kuchel when she was sick, the kitchen light went out and he asked levi to screw another lightbulb in, the poor kid stood there like 🤨 and when kenny said "what ? you don't know how to change a fucking lightbulb ?" levi shook his head and said "uncle kenny im seven 😐"

- kenny was APPALLED. and immediately made it his mission to make levi as handy as himself.

- also, dates with him are rlly lowkey.

- he likes being in your company, so staying home and ordering take out is AWESOME in his opinion. sometimes he'll dress up and make a fancy meal with you.

- if you like going to carnivals and stuff, he's reluctant but eventually caves. wins you a lot of the prizes.

- "fuck. this shit is rigged y/n"

- "sorry levi, lets go do something else !"

- "what ? no. give me another dollar im getting you that fucking turtle"

- hange always wants to see you. levi makes it his life mission to keep you away from them as much as possible. not because he doesnt want you to get along with his friends, just because he knows that hange will spill some embarassing secrets from his college days.

- erwin ? hes okay but hes on thin fucking ice.

- also is very gentlemanly. will not only hold the door for you but for everyone. hes waiting in line for his order and someone comes up behind him and asks him to scootch so they can get some napkins ? mf its grabbing a handful himself and handing it to the person, wishing them a nice day with a small smile. hes just like,, a genuinely good person

- his singing voice ? immaculate. will he sing for you ? no.

- he also loves playing board games with you. like chess or checkers. you love playing board games with him and his friends, specifically monopoly. hange makes moblit form an alliance with them. mike is a lone wolf, and erwin and levi are always helping each other out until erwin betrays him. lots of trust is ruined between these game nights, but you literally cant bring yourself to care because its so fun to watch it unfold

this is my first headcanon thingy !! im v excited !! hope u all enjoyed 🤩✨ should i do more headcanons like these ???

- all in all, levi is a cool guy, and a cool bf.

[shreddedleopard]

Twelve-million more reasons Historia and Levi are part of the Endgame. With Pictures.

You can read the first post I made on this here:

10 reasons it would make narrative sense for Levi and Historia’s character arcs to end together.

(This is the mega-evolved version.)

Okay, I’m going to put this out there now, and before you judge me, please just read the posts. You don’t have to agree. This is just an idea. But it makes a stupid amount of sense, at least to me. So here's your fair warning (and now I'm being bold): If you don’t want to potentially be spoiled, Do Not Read On.

Here’s the Theory:

Historia Reiss will give birth to a half-Ackerman child, and together with Levi, from the ashes and ruins of the world Eren destroyed, they will welcome the dawn of a new age for humanity, where Ymir’s curse and the power of the Titans is extinct.

I know. I sound like some crazy, Rivahisu nut. Granted, I am, but I’m not mad enough to make a claim like this without a shit-ton of evidence, because it’s such a damn twist it feels like it can’t be true. But just humour me.

Here’s the theory, then we’ll look at why it makes sense and how it might have been foreshadowed. Please note: I have less clue how this will tie in to Eremika endgame, so I haven’t mentioned this as much, but obviously that will be the other very important side of this coin.

10 months ago (In Japan, full term pregnancy is counted as 10 months), at the banquet celebrating completion of the new railroad, Levi and Historia, having had 3 and a bit years to bond over their shared experiences and become close, may have gotten carried away together and shared one night of being a bit more than friends. She’s well into her 18th year at this point, just to clear that up. This resulted in Historia getting pregnant. Okay just stay with me; I know. I know. I sound crazy. But hear me out. So this pregnancy, contrary to the belief of the MPs and rest of the damn world, was the complete opposite of planned. Historia tells Levi, and Levi immediately panics. Because, to steal Kenny’s famous line, Levi thinks to himself ‘I can’t be some kid’s dad.’

 Levi does what he always does best, and shuts down into business mode, telling Historia she will need to cover it up somehow. Historia does as he asks, probably reluctantly, because she really has developed very deep feelings for him during the timeskip, and finds some farm hand to take the blame, likely saying she made a silly mistake with some random and the father doesn’t want anything to do with the child, and so she needs a father for the child not to be illegitimate. Which is her worst nightmare, because of course, that’s what she was. Levi watches the exchange hidden in that famous hood, feeling very conflicted, because although he cares about her, he thinks it best if no one knows that it was him that got the Queen pregnant, and of course, he’s duty bound, with a vow to fulfil, so he has no time to be worrying about a family. (Silly Levi!) 

How ironic this conversation would be if this theory were true. Remember, Historia was completely willing to eat Zeke if needed. Instead, she got pregnant, unplanned, nothing to do with any plot or selfish wishes, just the result of a spontaneous act of love by two people who’ve grown to care for one another a lot. ANYWAY.

Because we know Levi actually has a good heart, he feels immensely guilty for all of this; he's just a product of his upbringing and thinks he doesn’t know the first thing about families, so it's better for all involved if he not be. See where this is going? The old cursed history repeating? Making the same mistakes as our parents? Plus, Levi is bound by his duty. He is incredibly important to the military still, and he cannot just abandon this for any of his own selfish wishes. He’s supposed to be the one to vanquish the beast titan. 

Cue ten months of Historia looking hella depressed and hopeless, and Levi being even more of an asshole than usual to everyone, and not really wanting to say too much at all, as well as making some terrible workplace decisions (lol) poor boy be distracted.

Look at his face 😭

Yes Levi. A month. Which means Historia is now due and you’re still stuck with beardy, without a solution and pretty soon no reason for the MPs not to turn the mother of your child into a Titan.

That’s what that face is. I thought he looked a bit weird first time I read these panels 🤔 He didn’t know about the wine. We see that later. Anyway, I keep getting distracted, stop. I’ll come back to this.

But fear not; Levi will have a choice to make. 

So this is where it gets a bit more iffy for me, because I'm not sure how it would work, so this could be a way off, BUT. I believe it will come to light that the combination of Royal and Ackerman genes will somehow cancel out a person’s ability to turn into a titan and connection through paths, thus making them truly ‘free.’

The founding titan has the ability to change Eldian physiology, according to what Zeke learned from professor Xavier. 

EDIT: Okay so here’s where I’ve had to tweak this a bit in light of there latest chapter. So we just had Zeke in PATHS. With none other than our second resident genius, and as proclaimed by Eren, the saviour of humanity: Armin. What do our boys have a conversation about? Reproduction and the importance of the small moments in life - it’s these little moments which matter, regardless of the desire or need to recreate. Interesting how both the leaf and baseball link back to what their ideas of ‘family’ became. If Historia and Levi were to be in the same scenario in PATHS, what would their items be? What truly means family to them both? 

Perhaps Armin and Zeke realise what is needed to lift the curse of the titans - maybe a blueprint for genes which can cancel out the connection to PATHS and the founder? If only they had a child with a new type of Royal-Ackerman DNA which might fit the bill ... 

Here’s Levi’s moment. He, with Historia, has created such a child - completely by accident, because of one of those ‘moments’ that both Armin and Zeke mention - moments that are simply just about enjoying what you have with no sense of how it might relate to anything bigger - a real rarity for both of them, considering their roles and constantly being asked to think about the good of humanity as a whole. What a beautiful irony, that in the moment they chose to be selfish and, to use freckled Ymir’s own words, really live for themselves, they set a chain reaction in motion that would ultimately save humanity. 

Where does this leave Eren and Mikasa? Good question. I believe Eren will die once the curse is removed, because tragically he is the character that has been forced to choose humanity over his own personal relationships. As Isayama has said before, Eren is a victim of the story. Mikasa will be the last thing he sees, hence the original dream at the start of the manga, where he wakes up crying. Something like this. But probably a lot better. Yeah.

Out of the ashes of the old world, a new one will be built, but through Historia’s kindness and love, and Levi’s guilt and understanding of what was sacrificed in the past, society will not repeat the same mistakes. The final panel could be Jean holding his child, perhaps with Mikasa, if she ever manages to get over losing Eren. That would be vague enough so that Isayama was able to show it to us already without spoiling much. Or maybe Jean’s dead and it’s not him at all. I don’t know. 😭

Right. Okay. So now you’re going, sweet story, but uh, there’s no way Levi could be the father. He’s so much older. Isayama wouldn't write a moment of romance like that. Not with him and Historia. YOU’RE JUST CRAZY.

Well this is where it get’s interesting. LET ME SHOW YOU. It’s foreshadowed literally everywhere. Right under our noses.

There is so much symbolism.

Dedicate your heart to what? has been Levi’s question recently. What are they all fighting for? What is he fighting for? How will he give meaning to his dead comrades sacrifices? Is killing Zeke really the extent of it? Is vengeance the true meaning of their sacrifices? Or is it something a lot more hopeful?

The answer is shown to us in the opening credits. And the ending credits. Several times. 

Levi says so himself - he keeps messing fulfilling the vow up - why? Why is he so worried about killing Zeke? 

Eren has the same questions to consider. Which PATH is the right one to take - revenge and violence with the rumbling, or love ... with Mikasa. We are literally shown what their choices will be in two virtually identically designed panels, which I’ll show you. Tragically, Eren’s choice is taken from him. He is a victim to the story - he must chose the path that saves humanity. Levi and Eren have been bound together through the theme of choices, and taking the ones which leave you with the least regrets, throughout this entire manga.

The upcoming anime episodes literally plot out the timeline of Levi and Historia’s changing attitude to one another, and then Historia’s pregnancy, it’s just so cleverly subtle. Isayama even tells us when/ during what event her child was probably conceived by just dropping dates in from other, seemingly unrelated plot lines.

Zeke gives pointed comments to Levi constantly - every other line of his is either a different jab at Levi about Historia’s pregnancy, a veiled question, or a reminder that he’s under the pressure of a 10 month time limit to do something about him, or Historia will have to eat him once she’s given birth. We start to see Levi unravel because of this, and make mistakes over and over.

It’s in official art. It’s in the soundtrack. Its in music videos. There’s interviews from Isayama that, when read in light of these ideas, suddenly take on a whole new meaning.

Isayama even trolls us. He’s laughing in our faces, the madman. Like, gotchu 🤣 suckers. While we’re all on Reddit and Twitter like, ‘Levi’s character has become so stagnated! He’s making such poor choices or not giving anything to the plot at all. All that’s left for him now is to give up and die! Be at peace, your story is over.’ OOF. Or, ‘Historia has just been forgotten! She’s become such a pointless character. Isayama just got bored with her and sidelined her.’

I’m going to try and write stuff up in the rough categories below, but these might change. I’ll link them when I’m done, and then pin this post. I’m a bit of a rambler so heads up - this may take a while 😅

There’s also a ton of people I have to mention who have contributed to this - I didn’t spot it by myself. I’ll tag them in the finished post too.

Historia and Levi’s Miscalculation: A manga tale featuring the Jaeger Bros., Pt. 1

Historia and Levi’s Miscalculation: A manga tale featuring the Jaeger Bros., Pt. 2

Historia and Levi’s Miscalculation: A manga tale featuring the Jaeger Bros., Pt. 3

Ackerman-Royal Bloodline and Levi’s Choice Pt. 1

Levi’s Choice Pt. 2

Suns, Moons and Songs

Akatsuki No Requiem - Right theory, Wrong guy

The Farmer and The Cattle Farming Goddess, or WHAT’S IN A NAME.

Mistakes of our parents and breaking the cycle

Memories from the future & Levi’s Guilt

Watch this space. And hold on to your pants. If I’m right, I’m getting very drunk.

[vrisrezis]

Hello! Thank you for the opportunity to get a matchup. Still, if you change your mind and decide not to do it it's all good, your comfort’s more important^^

I’m an entj, libra, nb and bi. I'm 5’8, semi athletic with long ginger hair. People compare me to Daphne Blake. I like feminine styles but sometimes I dress like your typical boy from Pinterest/tiktok bc gender. I’m in a band. I’m protective, driven and ambitious, I like power but I can take responsibility. I'm also social and (allegedly) good at comforting. To most strangers I seem mean. But I love complimenting others, hugging them and giving them things. Sure I can throw a punch, but I swear I'm nice. I think I'm empathetic but ironically I'm a narc. So ideally i’d like someone who can let me be in charge in the relationship, it's easy for me to feel unneeded. I like horror movies, cryptids/ghosts/ufos, fashion and kids. Hate opening up, losing and doomsday movies. My hobbies include painting, sewing, writing, acting & cooking

If you could tell me which sp character fits me that would be lovely, though, again - no pressure

-💎

I ship you with Kenny.

Reasoning? Well..

Would definitely ask about your band, he is interested and finds it really cool. He enjoys somebody more on the ambitious side, he finds being ambitious and driven to be a positive quality, I imagine he’s not much like that. His whole dying everyday situation doesn’t give him much hope at times. He can be protective himself, moreso of his sister and such. He understands, if you’re protective of him it makes him feel loved. He himself is also social, and would not be intimidated by you in the slightest because you seem “mean” and would approach you regardless. Being good at comforting Kenny helps him greatly, but he’s good at comforting you on the off chance you actually open up to him. Which he doesn’t mind by the way, being able to open up takes time for some people. Kenny doesn’t exactly mind you throwing a punch or two, he deserves it and is used to it by now. He’s also very chill and has no problem with you being the one in control in the relationship.

[angelanimedesaray]

Through The Looking Glass Chapter 5: Flickers In Time

AN:  Okay, so there’s a lot of time skipping in here, just a lot of brief short moments as our little ones get a little older.  The time frame is honestly all over the place for what happens when.  I’m doing this before we get back on track because I realized a lot of these scenes I had planned I couldn’t string together in a cohesive linear fashion at the length I’ve been writing these chapters, so I decided just to do a time passing chapter, and here we are.

Also, congrats guys, the next chapter is our first MATURE CONTENT warning that I’m honestly a little nervous writing, but we’ll see how it goes.

Characters:  Levi, Reader, Reader’s Parents (Mentioned), Kenny (Mentioned), Occasional OCs

Pairings:  (Eventual) Levi x Reader

Warnings:  Angst, Family Drama/Troubles, Running Away, Mentions of Divorce, (Is Fluff really a Warning??? I mean, if you don’t want to feel warm fuzzies, I guess)

Word Count:  10464

<---Previous Part    Masterlist    Next Chapter---->

Levi flickered in and out of your life in moments that could be fleeting like the pictures of an old film, or seemingly endless and frozen in time, held in your hands like precious gems.

Friends came and went as you grew older and the social cliques and popularity divided people further and further away at school.  It didn’t help that your mother followed through with her threat and pulled you out of school to homeschool you for a year, and your family moved a few times for your father’s job. But despite all the rapid change in the space of a few years, Levi continued to appear at the most unexpected of times, a constant friend despite his inconstant presence.  He grew more...distant, the older the two of you became.  Not distant like your friends at school had become, simply more...reserved, withdrawn into himself, and wary of the world around him.  But you could still get him to relax, get his guard to lower some when he was around you.  He always arrived acting far more mature than his age, but you managed to get him to be a /kid/ with you at some point during his visits…

*Levi’s POV*

The trees outside had turned, a palette of oranges, reds, yellows, and lingering remnants of green, clinging to the thinning tree branches or littering the ground like paint spatter.  Levi had stared at the colors in silent, wide-eyed fascination when he’d appeared, twirling an orange leaf between two fingers by the stem before Y/N had grabbed him by the arm with a happy exclamation of his name, dragging him deeper into the yard and insisting that he help her rake up a pile of leaves to jump into.

He’d been a little displeased when he saw all that hard work to rake up the yard disappear as she jumped into their pile and sent leaves everywhere, but the shrieked giggles and the wide grin on her face as she rolled around and continued to spread leaves everywhere helped make up for it.  Plus, she was perfectly ready and willing to rake up the pile all over again so Levi could try doing the same--apparently she’d seen his skepticism over the point of it all.

He had to admit that there was a sort of childish thrill to jump in and cause an explosion of fluttering autumn colors all around him.

Afterwards, when the leaves were raked up into their final piles and they had picked all the bits of multicolored leaves off of one another, she had dragged him inside raving about caramel apples she said were a Halloween only treat--whatever that was.  By now, he’d learned to just go with the strange things she said.  They made sense to her, and he didn’t need to understand everything she talked about to enjoy what she was trying to share with him.

This time, it was green apples on sticks with a shining brown glaze and chopped up nuts sprinkled all around it.  It was sticky at the same time it was juicy, since the apple was crisp and fresh underneath--sweeter than the things he was used to eating, but not enough to give him a stomach ache, thankfully.  They both had the caramel and apple juice all over them when they finished, having to scrub at their faces and fingers afterwards.  As with most of the foods and drinks she shared with him when he visited, it was another thing he’d been able to genuinely enjoy, part of him wishing the treat wasn’t seasonal like she’d told him it was so that he could look forward to maybe having one more often when he saw her.

*Levi’s POV*

The excitement practically oozed from Y/N when he appeared one day, and she dragged him into the house, informing him that her family bought a piano for her to practice with at home.  This was something he was more familiar with by proxy, considering all the times she’d talked about learning to play the piano, sometimes at his prompting.  As such, as soon as she said she had a piano, for once he knew what he was being dragged into, and he looked forward to it with enough curious excitement that he easily matched her pace.  Curiosity and even some excitement radiated from him as they tread into a part of the house that he hadn’t seen since his first visit.  At the foot of the stairs was the large living room, and pushed up against the wall was a light brown wooden piece of furniture with ivory white and onyx black keys, and a matching bench pushed underneath.

Y/N let go of his arm long enough to pull out the bench with a brief, frustrated grunt when it got caught on the soft rug, which did in fact cover the entire flooring now that Levi got to look at it.  She slid onto the bench with ease and got off again to adjust it, doing this several times until she had it where she wanted it and could reach the pedals at the bottom and seemed to be able to reach the keys.  At that point, she turned to look at Levi, who had walked up to the piano to investigate, hand gliding gently over the smooth wood and listening to the hollow thunk of her foot pressing on the peddles underneath as she tried to make sure she could reach everything.

“C’mon, there’s room for both of us.  You can turn the pages for me, too!” she said cheerfully as she opened up a thin book that was propped up in the center of the piano above the keys on a built-in stand.

Levi racked his brain for the names of some of the songs she’d said she was learning to play on the piano in all their conversations, dismissing the ones she’s said were really easy, the first songs she’d learned to play.  What had been the name of that one song she’d been looking forward to learning?

“Have you learned Furr A Lease yet?” Levi asked as he took a seat next to her on the bench.

Y/N lit up as he mentioned it, flipping through the pages of the book and settling on a specific one that had rows of bars and spots that made no sense to him, but clearly meant something to her.  “You remembered!  I had my teacher promise to teach me to play Fur Elise as soon as I could recognize all the notes, so I can!  You’ll have to turn the page once for me,” she rambled, fingers hovering over and finding their place on the keys as her eyes flickered up towards the pages in front of her.  A look of concentration fell across her face, and after a few moments of silence where Levi simply watched her, her fingers pressed down on the keys in semi-practiced movements, and a lovely sound started to fill the air.

Occasionally she pressed a little too hard or too soon on a key, and the sound was thrown off, but Levi was aware that she was learning.  Even though it threw him off in the moment, he was still enjoying listening to her play.  He could see she was trying hard, and the practice was paying off.  The sound was nice and beautiful, and it was gentle, like her.

He only moved when she asked him to turn the page for her.  He had to stretch with care to make sure he didn’t get in her way, but he apparently timed it right, because her playing didn’t hitch because of missing notes.

After that, whenever they were inside and she wasn’t intent on having him try something else out, he asked her if there was anything new she’d learned to play on the piano.  Every time, she would drag him into the living room like he’d hoped and they would sit down side by side on the bench while she played for him.

*Reader’s POV*

One of the great things about Levi whenever he showed up was how he was willing to listen.  He wasn’t much of a talker, anyway, he never had been.  But even though he didn’t speak, and there was a distance as time went by, it wasn’t out of indifference or coldness.  He did listen to what you talked about, and considering he was able to recall stuff even from past conversations and ask the occasional meaningful question, you knew he was, in fact, paying attention.

Considering you didn’t have anyone to talk to with some of your interests, it was a breath of fresh air.  Even with your parents, some of the things you tried to talk to them about, they started using the mechanical voice, the one that told you that they weren’t really paying attention because they were giving automatic, short responses.  And the few people your age that bothered to spend time around you didn’t understand some of the things you wanted to talk about, or gave a blank look and then switched the subject to something else entirely.

With Levi, you could go into depth about rudimentary energy conversion, or basic natural science--the basic stuff taught in elementary science classes that you were developing a stronger and stronger interest in as time passed.  Most of the people your age that you knew didn’t really care about science unless they got to see something with fire, something explode, or got to do an activity they could barely put any effort into and goof off for the rest of class.

Even if Levi didn’t understand everything you told him, he tried to.  And what you could demonstrate or explain, you did, with Levi paying attention and trying to follow what you were saying to the best of his ability.  If he seemed like he wasn’t interested, as you’d been worried a few times by wandering eyes or a general look of disinterest, he usually put those worries to rest with a well-formed question that showed he was paying attention.

When he did lose interest, or perhaps gave up on trying to follow something you were attempting to explain, he would change the subject to something else that you enjoyed.  That way the topic was still something you enjoyed and wanted to share, even if it was no longer the one you’d previously been talking about.

Which you understood.  It wasn’t for everyone, and he wasn’t going to be as enthusiastic about it as you, no matter how much you talked about or explained things to him.  He still did far more than most people you knew, and listened nonetheless.

Though you did notice that one time you talked about studying the human body and naming bones and such, he was already surprisingly knowledgeable, and even helped you study and remember some things you were struggling with.  Like remembering the names of bones and their spots in the human body.  It wasn’t that you thought he was stupid, it was just that you’d gotten so used to having to explain most of the sciencey things you talked about, it through you for a loop when he was rather knowledgeable about it.  Especially the specific parts he was knowledgeable about: arteries and the like.

But, whenever you started to get that worried, pondering look on your face and your mind started to wonder how he knew those kinds of things so well, he usually caught on and managed to direct your attention elsewhere, the touchy subject forgotten before you could dig too deep and realize something unpleasant.

*Levi’s POV*

Warmth trailed uncomfortably from Levi’s nose and down over his lips, his jacket hanging halfway down the arm that was still clutching the bloodied knife in a tight grip.  His eyes weren’t on the almost unconscious man underneath him, but on the tan coat and wide brim hat that was quickly disappearing from sight without so much as a glance back in Levi’s direction.  His lips parted, intending to call out to the man, but he disappeared entirely before he could gather the words.

Gone, just like that, without a word from either of them.

And something inside him told him he wasn’t coming back.

His grip slackened slightly on the knife, stunned and still staring in the direction Kenny had disappeared.  His smug accomplishment at winning the fight he’d picked with the adult now below him disappeared entirely in the wake of on setting abandonment as the reality of what had just happened settled in, and Levi realized he was now alone in the Underground.

He blinked, and while the lighting didn’t change much, the smell in the air did.  The man below him was gone, the ground was different beneath his feet, and the lighting, while still dark, wasn’t from the absence of light from a nonexistent sky.  There was no ceiling again, just the trees up above him, and open night sky with the moon and stars glinting around him.

The surface.

Which meant…

He didn’t have to look far.  He simply turned his head a little to the side, and there was the wooden playhouse he’d slept in several years ago.  Sitting atop it was the familiar form of Y/N, though she was a little hunched over.  At the sight of her, Levi instinctively hid his bloodied knife, taking a moment to wipe it off in the grass below him before he put it away where she wouldn’t see it.

Like the day he’d found her sitting on the steps after that incident at the school, there was shouting coming from the house, mainly a woman shouting.  There were pauses in between, and if he listened hard enough, he could faintly make out the sound of a man’s voice replying.  He couldn’t make out what either of them were saying, but whatever it was, he was sure it was the reason she was hunched over on top of the playhouse like a depressed bird.

Levi pulled out his handkerchief, and barely managed to get it to his nose to wipe away the blood when she finally noticed him.  Her posture straightened slightly upon seeing him, though she definitely hunched back over to wipe at her face first before she turned to face him more fully.

“Are you alright?  You’re bleeding,” she stated.

Of course concern for his well being was the first thing she said.  She was always worrying over him, it seemed.  Even when there was clearly something upsetting her, she asked about him, first.

“It’s nothing,” he answered, finished wiping away the blood and secretly hoping it wouldn’t continue to bleed so she wouldn’t continue to fuss over something that equated a scratch for him.  He was probably going to look a little rough no matter what he did, considering he was literally just in a fight.

As Levi walked over to the playhouse, Y/N leaned down and fixed his jacked, pulling the shoulder up from his elbow and back where it belonged before Levi could shrug her off and fix it himself.  He didn’t need her fussing over him like a mother, because she wasn’t.

Partially sulking, and nowhere near wanting to talk about his own problems right now, Levi decided to draw her attention away from him again as he leaned his back against the side of the playhouse that was now too small for both of them to fit inside.

“You’re upset.  What’s going on?” Levi asked, head inclined back towards the house for clarity since they could still hear voices from inside.

Y/N shrank again, and Levi’s gaze settled steadily on her once again.  “My dad’s going back overseas,” she said quietly.  Levi’s brow furrowed at the mention of overseas, no idea what she was talking about or what that was even supposed to mean.  Context clues told him her dad was leaving again.

There seemed to be a lot of that going around right now.

“They’re fighting about it because apparently my dad’s already done his required military service.  He doesn’t need to go back, but he is,” she clarified just as softly.  “Mom’s insisting that he doesn’t love us enough to stay, and he wouldn’t go if he did.”

Levi looked away as she got especially quiet, and he suspected she might be shedding more tears.  At the same time, Kenny’s retreating back flashed through his mind.  Sure, Kenny didn’t love him, Levi wasn’t an idiot, he knew that much.  But he’d thought, at the very least...well, he hadn’t expected to get abandoned in the street like that.  And he felt betrayed because of it.

As much as he thought this would be a good distraction from his harsh reality like it usually was, this was just echoing his own pain right now, and he hated it, a muscle twitching in his jaw as his teeth ground together, and a bit of resentful anger starting to bud inside him towards a man he hadn’t met for making Y/N feel a similar sense of abandonment.

“She’s wrong, though.”

Or maybe not.

Levi looked up in surprise at Y/N’s entire change of tone, which went from small, timid, and hurt to firm determination with a bit of fire he hadn’t seen from her before peeking through.  It wasn’t at all what he had expected from her, and she wasn’t done, either, wiping away residual tears as she continued to speak in that firm tone.  The way she spoke, it was easy to tell she was venting out frustration that her mother didn’t understand this.

“I know he loves us.  Just because he’s going away for a while doesn’t mean he hates us or anything.  He’s going because he needs to protect people, it’s what he does, and it’s the right thing to do.  It’s scary when he’s gone, and it hurts, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t love us.”

Levi watched her as she smoothed her hair back with both hands, taking a deep breath before she hopped off the playhouse.  He straightened up from his previous position leaning against the playhouse, but before either of them said anything, she suddenly wrapped both of her arms tightly around him.  Levi stiffened, pain flaring up in his side where he’d been hit during that fight, hands starting to rise to push her off him in an instinctual reaction, but she was attached to him like a leech, and as his hands met her sides to push her off…

“Thank you for being my friend, Levi,” she murmured into his ear, and Levi paused.

Hesitantly, Levi returned the hug, his hands finding a place on her back as she clung tightly to him.  She was warm, and it was comforting to be held like this again since…

Well...he didn’t want to think of how long it had been.  Already he felt a slight burn in his eyes, a mess of emotions trying to bubble up and out of his chest as he clung tightly to Y/N in return, wrestling with himself to keep it under control.  The hug felt good, but he could tell he was trembling, and with how tightly they were holding one another, surely she could tell as well.

Y/N’s arms loosened slightly, and she started to pull back in concern.  “Levi, are you all right?”

Cursing himself for the outward display of weakness the whole time, Levi hugged her a little tighter in response, which gave her enough of a hint that she stopped trying to pull away.  Instead, she secured her arms around him again in that comfort he suddenly realized he craved.  Every moment he wasn’t here on the surface, he craved the clean air, the warmth of the sun, the energy that oozed off of her and helped lift his spirits, as well as the security he felt while he was here.

If only he had the security of staying.  If only he wasn’t so sure that he would simply flicker away again, like every other time.  If only this existence didn’t keep slipping through his fingertips like a mirage lost in fog.

If only people stopped flickering out of his life...like Kenny just had.

“Why do people leave?”

The words slipped past his lips before he could get control of himself again, and he cursed his stupidity.  Why did people leave--it was a stupid question he already knew the answer to.  Because the world was cruel and harsh, full of death and destruction that took without a care, with people that were just as cruel and destructive.  And sometimes, when it seemed like people cared...well, he knew better now.  Already he was forming another wall to try and keep people out before they could wreak that kind of damage on him again when they left.

Y/N, while she didn’t give him an answer--maybe she didn’t have one, considering her more sheltered existence--still gave him something to hold to.  Though he wasn’t sure how concrete the promise really was, considering how they kept fluttering through each other's lives.

“I won’t leave, Levi.  Not really.  I’ll always be here when you need me most,” she promised, her words muffled since her face was still buried in his shoulder thanks to the hug.  “I’m usually here waiting and looking for you to come back, anyway.  You’re the only real friend that’s stayed with me so far.”

*Reader’s POV*

“What nonsense have you cooked up this time?”

By now you were done being surprised by Levi’s sudden appearances.  If they hadn’t started when you were so young, perhaps this wouldn’t be normal to you, and you would wonder how he got into your house and in your room on the second floor without a sound or alerting your parents, but it had never occurred to you to ask those questions in the past, and before enough time passed for you to start asking those kinds of questions, it became normal for you.  With Levi’s appearances being normal, you no longer thought it odd.

Not even looking up, you gestured to the chessboard on one side of you and the halfway finished game of solitaire on the other side.  “I got grounded for lying, so I’m trying to entertain myself.  Thought I would try to play some card games.  Or practice some chess.”

For once, Levi didn’t look completely lost as he took a seat across from you in between the two games.  It was like you had at long last spoken a language he understood, his eyes flickering between the stalemate on the chessboard and the game of solitaire you were too stubborn to admit defeat with.

It was a little difficult to play against yourself when you knew your opponent self’s every next move.

Levi’s eyes flickered around the room, probably noting the lack of...well, lots of things.  Most of the stuff you usually played with.  No video games, or movies, or music, or even books.  You’d dragged this out of the family game chest for something to do.  You weren’t even allowed friends over for a little while.  It was your mother’s way of putting the pressure on you to stop lying and tell the truth.

“It must have been a pretty big lie,” Levi commented as his eyes returned to you.  His comment earned a bitter snort from you, especially at the dark humor you found in him saying that.

“I wasn’t lying.  Just, no one believes me,” you said with a sigh, glancing up at him before you shook away the depressing thoughts.  Levi wasn’t always here, and when he was, you never knew how long he would be here.  Every time he showed up, you had to make the most of it.

“Come on, this will be much more fun if you play a few games with me.  Chess or cards?  I am ready to teach,” you said excitedly, leaning forward and planting your palms on the ground as you came closer with a wide smile, gazing at him expectantly as you waited for him to choose.

“I know a few games,” Levi said, nodding towards the cards.  You immediately brightened.  Could you get right to playing games for once?

“Which ones do you know?  War, slapjack, blackjack, rummy, go fish, poker--well, I don’t know how to actually play some of those, I just know they’re card games.”

Levi shrugged.  “Basic gambling games.  Like poker and blackjack.”  A blush started to creep up in your cheeks as you realized he knew the games you didn’t know how to play.  His sharp eyes didn’t miss the expression, and a first finally happened between you.  “I can teach you.”

You nodded sheepishly, watching as Levi gathered up the cards that had made up your solitaire game and shuffled the cards, starting to explain how to play poker to you as he handled the cards.  You never heard him talk longer than short sentences, so hearing him talk about something at length was new for you, and it was your turn to listen to him with quiet attention.  He had a rather soothing voice.  Steady and fairly low--at least for a boy his age--and occasionally he said his words like a sigh.  It gave him a general carefree feel as you listened.  If you had been tired, he probably could have lulled you off to sleep just listening to him.  It helped that you were paying avid attention to give him the same respect he gave you when you were talking about things you were interested in.

Even though poker was usually played with more people, you and Levi played a mock version of it with CheezIts you swindled from downstairs.  Needless to say, Levi was a little...too good at playing poker.  For the life of you, you couldn’t read him while playing the game, which meant he won every time.  Eventually, you got pouty.  Sure, your dad never /let/ you win when you played chess with him to teach you how to really play, but this was ridiculous.  At least you could take a few chess pieces off the board with your dad.  This was just--just--

You huffed as Levi scooped the pile of CheezIts towards himself once more, looking mildly annoyed at the orange dust he kept having to wipe off his hands as they played.  “You’re too good at this game.”

“You’re not good at hiding your expressions.  You’re an open book.  And you have lots of tells,” he returned bluntly, shuffling the deck once more.

Was he smiling?  You could have sworn he just smirked, but it was gone before you could be sure.  Dang it!  You had to do something to get back at him or this was going to drive you crazy.

“Bah, enough poker for today.  I at least know the basics of how to play now.  Maybe we could do some chess?” you asked hopefully.  Chess was something you knew but he didn’t.  You’d have the advantage again.  Hopefully you’d be able to beat him a few times and it would satiate your desire for a few victories.

Levi simply sat aside the cards after shuffling them, coming over to the chess board as you set it up.  “You’ll have to explain this one,” he said softly, gaze roaming over the starting positions of all the pieces to commit them to memory.

“Don’t worry, you’ll get the hang of it pretty quickly,” you said cheerfully before you started explaining how each piece got to move and the goal of the game.

It was a nice respite from an undeserved punishment while it lasted.

*Levi’s POV*

For once, he found an upside to living underground, as when he appeared outside, he was almost instantly drenched in an unpleasant feeling with humid, hot air and the sun beating down on him, making him cover his eyes entirely and re-expose himself to the bright sunlight little at a time.  At the same time, he shrugged off his jacket, pushing hair out of his face and looking around with a squint for Y/N.  She had to be close, she always was.

“Levi!”

Levi turned at the sound of her voice, spotting her as she came out of her house pushing something slender with two wheels along with her, waving her hand excitedly with a fancy bag slung across her chest from shoulder to waist.  She hurried over to him, hands guiding the wheels in the proper direction as she approached.  She kicked out a metal bar and let the slender thing prop up on it when she reached him.

“I was just going to the store to get some treats--do you want to come?” she asked cheerfully.

“Might as well,” Levi mumbled, his jacket draped over his arm now, though he was considering using it to give himself some shade.

“You can put your jacket in my bike basket, and...um…”  She frowned, turning back to look at the bike with a thoughtful look.  There was only one weird looking seat, and he was certain both of them were not going to fit on it.  “Well, I haven’t done it before, but you can try riding on the handlebars.  Or I can try it, if you know how to ride a bike,” she said, looking back at Levi, who was already shaking his head no in response to the upcoming question.

“Handlebars it is,” she said with a nod, swinging her leg over the bike to get situated on the seat and kicking that bar of metal back, balancing the bike on the two tires.  Levi put his jacket in the basket at the front, and then hesitated, looking at the way she balanced on the bike and the slender bar with her hands on either end.

This was not going to end well…

“Come on, it’s not that hard.  I don’t think so, anyway.  And I’m right behind you to keep you from slipping.  It might take a few tries while I figure out how to balance with two people, but we’ll figure it out.  It would be easier if I had bike pegs, but I don’t, so…”

Here goes nothing, Levi thought, turning his back to her and putting his hands just inside hers on the handlebars before he jumped up and back, partially landing on his hands.  Y/N moved her hands to the very edge, allowing Levi to get his hands out from underneath him and move them off to the side as his ass hung over the edge of the bike.  Her chest was pressed against his back as she leaned forward, though, giving him a bit of stability like she said as she leaned forward, head peeking around his shoulder so she could see.  Levi kept a tight grip on the bike as she shifted from foot to foot, trying to figure out the balance and keep them from tipping over--something Levi felt happening every time she tried to lift her feet.  She was going to make him a nervous wreck if she kept--

Instead of trying to lift her feet again, Y/N just started walking them forward slowly, getting the wheels to start moving instead of trying to balance in place.  As they started heading down the brown stone walkway, Levi wondered why she didn’t just move onto the wider black stone street that looked like it would give them more room for error than this narrow brown stone path.

As they started to pick up speed, Y/N suddenly took her feet off the ground again--which Levi knew, because the bike wobbled.  “Hold on!” she told him, which was entirely unnecessary--his knuckles were white on the bars as they started to go faster with a push he could feel, and the bike wobbled and veered from side to side as Y/N attempted to steer while Levi had the better grasp on the handlebars.  Eventually they managed to find a sort of arrangement, and they were steering mostly in tandem, Levi feeling what direction she was trying to move the handlebars and watching the narrow path in front of them to see what direction they needed to go in order to avoid crashing into something.  As they picked up speed and Y/N adjusted to what they were trying to do, the ride grew smoother, the wobbling stopped for the most part, and Levi was able to relax.  Mostly.

As they navigated the streets in their precarious arrangement, Levi had to blink sweat out of his eyes and squint against the wind, Y/N occasionally switching which of his sides she was peering around as they continued to go down the path at a speed that he occasionally wondered if she had complete control over.  He kept worrying she was going to accidentally swerve into something, or wasn’t going to be able to slow down before taking a corner and they would lose balance.

Finally, finally, she started to slow them down, and skidded to a stop in front of a red brick building with a glass and metal door.  Inside he could see bright light from a light source other than fire that he wasn’t familiar with, and a cacophony of brightly colored packages on rows of shelves.  Levi hopped off the bike and looked inside with cautious curiosity as Y/N moved the bike over to the wall and lowered that metal bar again, leaning the bike next to the wall out of the way before she approached him.

“I have enough money I’ve saved up to get us some soda and candy, or ice cream.  Since it’s hot out, I think ice cream would be better,” she mused as she pulled open the door, letting him go in first.

And she was speaking gibberish again.  Well, for the most part.  He didn’t know what the soda or ice cream was, but he of course knew what candy was, though he usually didn’t bother with it because it was such a luxury, and that money could be spent on more important things.

And here the difference between him as the Underground dweller and her as the surface dweller was glaring.

There was a man behind a counter off to their left as Y/N came in behind him, a man who immediately eyed Levi was a narrowed look as he took in his ragged appearance and (current) lack of a coin purse or a bag.  When Y/N bounded in with her clean-cut appearance and bag that obviously had money in it though, the dirty look eased, though Levi could still feel the man watching him to make sure he didn’t steal anything.

Y/N dragged him towards the back where there were more glass doors keeping certain products inside, with strangely shaped bottles and other containers with more bright colors.  “I’m thinking we can choose a drink, and an ice cream, and we can have some over at the conservation site we went to that one time!  Wait, no, the ice cream will melt by then...we can have the ice cream as soon as we get outside!” she amended as she brought him to a stop in the back in front of the wall of completely foreign foodstuffs.  Levi looked blankly at everything in front of him, completely lost on what he should get.  Hell, he’d never even seen half of the materials this place was made out of.  He was used to wooden buildings and shelves, to dirt or clay walls with the occasional stone structure, firelight or darkness.  He didn’t even seen any flames in this place, yet it was as bright in here as outside, but with more...artificial colors.  This place was different enough he was unsettled by it, and he honestly wanted to leave as soon as possible so he could be back somewhere that felt more...comfortable or familiar.

“You haven’t had soda or ice cream before, have you?” Y/N asked, deflating a little as she asked it and realization flashed in her eyes.  Levi shook his head, and she turned back to the wall of product with a slight frown, hands on her hips.  “Well...what kinds of foods or drinks do you like?  I like the really chocolatey stuff, or the fruity stuff.  Mom’s always telling me to have less because there’s so much sugar in it.”

“I don’t have a lot of sugar,” Levi said quietly.  Too much, and he might get a stomach ache, so he’d like to stay away from something packed full with sugar like she was claiming.

“You probably don’t want soda, then.  It’s super sugary and bubbly.”

Well that last part just made him curious…

“Or you can start with something lighter, like Sprite, or ginger ale...or you can have lemonade instead…”

At this point she was just talking to herself, pulling open the door in front of them to start picking up and looking at the bottles.  Levi shivered at the surprising blast of cold air, suddenly wishing he had his jacket as she held the door open, continuing to look at the bottles.  Levi’s head was on a gradual swivel, taking in the sight of all the different colored packages around him and trying to figure out what everything was.  This was nothing like the Underground, it was the exact opposite.  He didn’t even recognize anything in here--so far, anyway.  You would think they were from entirely different worlds.

“How about this--I’ll get a lemonade and a Sprite, I’ll let you try the Sprite, and if you don’t like it, I’ll just take the Sprite and you can have the lemonade,” she said, handing the two bottles to him and shutting the door, relieving him of that cold that would have been refreshing if it had been brief instead of constantly bombarding him while she held the door open.

The bottles weren’t made of glass, like he would have expected.  He had no idea what this was, and he watched the bubbling drink and the yellow drink slosh around inside as she pulled them up to the counter.  He was momentarily distracted and forgot she’d mentioned she was getting something else, but was now dragging them over to pay.

“I’d like to buy these two drinks, and two ice cream cones, please!” she said, leaning up against the counter on her tip-toes with Levi just behind her holding the drinks.  The man glanced skeptically at Levi again, who just gazed steadily back at him in silence, the two bottles held tightly in his hands.  He looked at the boxey...thing, in front of him, touched a few things that made strange noises to Levi, and then turned back to Y/N with a polite smile.

“That’ll be six seventy-four, little missy.”

Y/N dug around in her back, pulling out one faded green paper looking thing, and then another, and then reached back in to pull out a handful of coins, pushing them around in her hand and placing nine coins on the counter, pushing them over to him and dumping the rest into her bag.

“There you go,” she said as the man counted back over what she’d handed him, then put it in a drawer with a nod.

“Go ahead and get your ice cream,” he said, nodding down towards some strange thing at the end of the counter.

Y/N took the bottles from Levi and placed them in her bag, heading over to the thing at the end of the counter, grabbing yet another thing Levi didn’t recognize that was in a cone shape and dark brown, and she reached up and pulled down on a lever.  Something thick and light brown came out, with Y/N’s tongue sticking out as she tried carefully to layer it before she pulled the lever back up, stopping the flow and handing it over to Levi.

“That one’s mine, don’t eat it.  It might be too sugary for you,” she said before grabbing another cone and doing the same thing at a different spot.  This time what came out was clear white, and she managed to be a little neater with what she was doing before she handed that one to Levi and took the brown one from him.

“Have a nice day,” the man called automatically as they passed the counter for the door.

“You too!” Y/N called, and then they left, re-entering the heat of the outside world.

Levi simply stared at the treat she’d put in his hands, seeing it start to glisten in the sun and able to feel how surprisingly cold it was.  Like those red things she’d given him that one time.  Beside him, Y/N started licking hers, apparently doing so in a very specific way to try and keep it from melting past her fingers, since she had to catch a few drops that started to trickle past the edge.  Levi hesitantly followed suit, unsure if it was something he would like...

It was freezing cold, and sweet, but not so much that he pulled back.  It tasted...well...he wasn’t sure how to describe it.  It was good, though.  And once more, he found himself associating something he was experiencing on the surface with clean because oddly enough that was the best he could do for describing the ice cream, as she’d called it.

Following her lead on how to eat it and knowing better than to bite into it after his experience with the red frozen treat, the two of them leaned against the wall and ate their ice cream until all that was left was the cone.  Apparently that was an edible thing, since she crunched right through it and quickly ate it, too.  It tasted similar to a cookie, actually, as he ate it.  Not sweet like the ice cream, and a nice crunchy compliment.

When they were done with their ice cream, Y/N retrieved her bike, wheeling it around so it was facing the direction they’d come from.  “All right--to the conservation site,” she said cheerfully, finding her balance on the bike again as Levi grumbled under his breath, reluctantly resuming the position on the handlebars.

Next time she better come up with a better way to travel, because he wasn’t too keen on this arrangement.

Their wobbly trip was longer this time, and more laborious considering this time she had to bike them up a hill this time, which she gave up on not even halfway through when she almost veered and lost balance while trying to struggle up the hill.

“All right, this isn’t going to work, we’re walking up this hill,” she huffed, waiting for Levi to hop off before she got off as well, walking beside the bike and guiding it by the handlebars.

“Well, at least most of the distance was easier to cover,” she said with a sigh, reaching into her pack and handing him the Sprite bottle as they reached the crest of the hill.  It was somewhat nostalgic, coming back up here, with the memory of the long grass, the meadow and the pond with the berries and the wildlife.  The only thing that was missing was slightly more forgiving weather and her carrying him, which he wasn’t about to let her do since he was perfectly capable of walking himself this time.

“I can actually swim, now, so we could jump in the pond.  Mom wouldn’t be too happy with me getting my clothes wet, but it would be fun!” she suggested cheerfully.

“I can’t swim,” Levi returned bluntly.  He’d most likely just be watching her bob around the entire time if she went through with that.

“Dang it...well, we can just stick our feet in the water, again, then,” she said, easily brushing off the disappointment as they crested the hill and she guided her bike off to the side into the rocks.  Kicking the metal bar to lean it against again, she left it on the side of the road, pushing aside grass that wasn’t as tall as he remembered and gesturing for him to follow her once more to the pond.

Just like they had before, they dangled their feet in the water, and Levi took the chance to clean up any traces of ice cream that might have lingered on his face and wash away any dirt on his person.  Meanwhile, Y/N was simply playing with the bottle of lemonade, watching him and waiting expectantly for him to try the Sprite so she knew if they had to switch drinks or not.  Once Levi felt relatively clean, he followed the instructions of the little white arrows painted on top of the lid and twisted it open, hearing the bottle hiss at him as the air escaped and the drink inside bubbled drastically before settling down again.  He glanced at Y/N, who was still waiting for him to try it, and, based off his past experience of trying the foods and drinks she gave him, started small with a little sip.

He pulled back a bit from the bottle, unsure how he felt about it.  It was clear and sharp and refreshing, but the bubbles...well, he wasn’t used to his drinks being fizzy, and it threw him off.  Maybe he would adjust to it?  He’d probably ask for something more normal if they did this again, though.

Seeing that Levi was keeping his bottle, Y/N happily started on her own drink, taking big gulps before putting the lid back on and throwing herself back on the ground with a pleased sigh.

“I love summer,” she said, eyes closed as she soaked in the heat from the sun’s rays.  Levi stayed quiet, watching the birds across the pond hoping around and pecking at the ground in search of bugs or worms.  The water rippled occasionally from small fish coming close to the surface, and the breeze ruffled his hair and cooled him down slightly from the heat of the sun.  He felt like a little kid again, looking around at a bright and new world.

Well, technically he still was a kid, but really, he’d grown up a long time ago.  Yet every time he came up here...he felt like a kid again.  And he felt much lighter and carefree.  It just made him all the more determined to find his way to the surface.

*Reader’s POV*

It was dark and damp in the place that you were hiding, your sobbing echoing around the large metal tube and a small trickle of water at the bottom getting parts of your pants and shoes wet.  It smelled musty and terrible down here, and you’d be colder if it wasn’t for the medium sized dog that was pressed against your side and partially in your lap.  Your greyhound black lab Sabrina was attempting to comfort you, giving a few licks on your cheeks.

It was the middle of the night, and you were tucked away in a storm drain, cold night air whistling down the tunneled space.  You’d been down here for a while now, and you didn’t know what to do.  You were lost, practically alone, hungry, and scared, and it was your own doing.

Footsteps echoed down the storm drain, splashing water with each step, and you scrambled to your feet, ready to bolt from the stranger in the drain.

“Why are you down here?”

You relaxed considerably at the familiar voice, wiping the tears from your face as he drew close enough for you to make out features in the dim light provided by your flashlight.  “Levi?” you said with another sniffle.  Sabrina got on all fours and put herself between you and the stranger, starting to growl and causing Levi to pause before you pet her head and neck to calm her down and told her to sit and settle.  She calmed down and allowed Levi to draw closer, though he was much more careful now.

You were still mid distraught crying, but he’d asked what was happening, and this was your chance to ask for some help and get what was happening off of your chest.  After a few more sniffles and wiping at your tears to get yourself under control enough you could speak again, you attempted to explain what you were doing crying in a storm drain with a dog in the middle of the night.

“My parents are splitting up.  I want to stay with my dad, but I’m going with my mom cause I’m apparently too young to decide.  And I thought...I thought if I-I ran away…” God, now that you were saying it out loud, you could hear how stupid this whole idea had been.  “That they might get back together while they were looking for me,” you finished in a very small voice.

You’d done it in a distraught panic, honestly.  Clearly you didn’t have enough food smuggled into  your backpack, because you were already out of food.  You’d at least thought protection, which ended up coming in the form of Sabrina and a tiny pocket knife you got from your grandfather a year ago.  Now you were here with five bucks, a dog, a pocket knife, no food, no blankets or pillows, a stuffed animal, a book, a game, and the feeling that you were absolutely--

“Are you stupid?”

You blinked in surprise when you heard Levi say it aloud, immediately blushing and hiding your face in shame as he said the very thing you’d come to realize but hadn’t wanted to admit out loud.  This whole idea had been a stupid plan, and you’d executed it horribly, resulting in this mess.

“For someone so smart, it was stupid thinking running away was going to solve your problem,” he continued to scold you, coming to a stop just beside you and looking down on you with you could only assume to be some harsh judgment.  “All running from your problems is going to do is make things worse.  Your parents aren’t going to magically get back together because you’re missing.  They’ll likely fight more.”

You hated how right he was.  They were probably blaming each other, if you knew them well enough.  This was really something you should have thought through before bolting when you did.  You were curling into yourself with every word he said, and as much as you hated hearing him say it, you knew he was right, and he had a point.  You never should have tried running from your problems.  You should have tried to say something and made them listen.  Running was only making things worse for everyone.

You felt his foot kick you--not hard enough to be mean or painful, but enough to get you to move and look up at him, tear streaks still on your face.  “Are you going to sit there feeling sorry for yourself, or are you going to get up and head home?”

You wiped your face one more time, getting shakily to your feet.  Your dog followed suit, standing expectantly at your side as you gathered your mostly empty bag.  You didn’t have anything else, so you were ready for a walk of shame back home.  There was only one problem.

“I don’t know how to get there.  I got lost.  And...and I’ve overheard Mom and Dad talking about a white van going around taking kids, so...That’s why I’ve been down here.  Once I didn’t know where I was,” you said in a quiet voice  Suddenly very aware of the terrible situation you’d put yourself in.

Levi was staring hard at you.  His expression was blank, and he was still, but you could see him processing the information and deciding what to do next.  Suddenly, he reached out and grasped your wrist, pulling you forward and towards the mouth of the storm drain.

“Standing around feeling sorry for yourself won’t get you anywhere,” he muttered, dragging you along with Sabrina following on her leash.  “You can recognize the area your house is in, right?”

You nodded hesitantly.  Moving to the suburbs had its drawbacks.  No more were you surrounded by diverse streets, houses, and buildings--everything here was uniform, with rows of streets and houses that looked identical to you.

But what he said about feeling sorry about yourself was also right.  So instead of thinking of what you couldn’t do, you wracked your brain for what you could do.  You knew the name of the section of houses you stayed in, and what the park looked like, and the number on your house.  You could also recognize one of the biking paths that ran along the edge of the housing area.  So you had some landmarks you could recognize.  If all else failed, there was the pool center or the school that you could recognize without hesitation, and if you waited long enough there, maybe someone could get you home.  You knew your phone number.  You had options.

Levi got you both to the mouth of the storm drain, and he stopped, staring at the sight in front of him.  The last time you’d seen Levi, you’d been living on the east coast.  Now you were in the southwest, and you’d gone from a lush green temperate climate to the desert.  It was like he’d never seen the desert and was trying to process the entire change of terrain.

“Where the hell…”

Now he was the one just standing there, and you realized that if you’d still been living where you had before, he’d be able to recognize streets and houses and the like as well.  He hadn’t been here before--this was all new to him.  He was even more lost than you were.  At least he was still making an effort.

You tugged him towards the slopes behind you.  “That’s definitely not the right way.  We have to go back to the houses,” you said, the two of you struggling up the steep slope and back onto the bike path you’d been following aimlessly before ending up here.  You hesitated there, swinging your flashlight both ways before choosing to go left.  “I’m pretty sure I came from this way.  We can follow it until I recognize one of the town names.”

*Levi’s POV*

Levi let Y/N tell him where he needed to go, considering this was an entirely new area to him.  He hadn’t even heard of barren land like this above ground, with just sand stretching out as far as the eye could see, and everything in earthen shades.  It was completely different from where she’d been living previously, yet she didn’t seem phased by the strange sights.  So, Levi tried to ignore the oddity of the landscape and let her give any signals for where they needed to go as needed.  However, he stayed in the lead, holding tightly to her wrist with one hand as she crowded close to him, her dog trailing right behind her as they walked with their sides almost pressed up against one another.

Her comment about kids being taken in the area had him even more on edge than he would have been.  Already he was keeping his head on a swivel and his eyes peeled since they were two kids traveling alone at night in a strange place, but her piece of information had his free hand consistently hovering near where he kept his knife on him.  At the first sign of trouble, he was ready to draw it to protect her, but he was keeping it concealed for now in order to keep from panicking Y/N.  She was already distraught enough over her situation, he didn’t want to upset her anymore.  Even now, he could feel her burying her face in his shoulder to try and hide a fresh wave of tears.  He didn’t say a word about it, continuing to guide them steadily forward along their path despite the tension in the air.

He still couldn’t believe she’d been foolish enough to get herself in this situation.  He’d known she was a little...naïve about the more dangerous parts of the world, but this was just…

Levi let out a soft sigh, reconsidering his stance on popping the protective bubble she seemed to be secured inside.  If naivety was going to lead to her doing something like this, maybe she needed a bit of a wake up call.  Horrible people lurked in dark places at night, and she was an easy target.  He wasn’t, but she was, and she was lucky she hadn’t been snatched in the time she’d been out by herself.

Right now wasn’t the time to disrupt that little protective bubble, though.  She was scared enough, shaking and crying as she clung to his arm, the hand he had on her wrist giving it a small squeeze of reassurance in the hopes that it might help calm her down.

They followed the path long enough Levi started to worry that she had no idea where they were still, and was simply leading them even further away from her home.  Eventually, though, she pulled on Levi’s arm to get his attention, bringing him to a stop a few paces away from a fork that they had passed that the other path had twisted into an opening in a stone fence that led to rows and rows of identical houses.

“I recognize that name,” she said, pointing towards the words scrawled on a sign just in front of the entrance.  “It’s not the area I live in, but it’s close,” she commented, looking far more attentively around the area.

“How close?”

“I think...one over from where my house is.  There should be another section that starts with C, and then it’ll be mind.  If I can find the park, I’ll know the way home,” she said.

Good, then they were heading the right way.

Levi urged her forward, surprised by how...quiet it was out here.  Besides their footsteps, he didn’t really hear any other sounds.  Maybe the occasional voice from someone outside their home late at night, or a closing door, but he wasn’t hearing much in the way of wildlife like he would where Y/N had lived before.  The loudest thing was their footsteps, which was a little disconcerting.

“You’re not going to do something stupid like this again, are you?” Levi asked as they continued to walk.  He just wanted to make sure what he’d said got through her head, and she would know better from now on.

She nodded emphatically at his side, holding a little tighter to him as they continued forward.  Well, hopefully she /would/ be a little smarter about this kind of thing in the future.  Time would tell.

They continued their trip in relative silence besides Y/N’s occasional sniffles, with Levi staying protectively in front of her the entire way until at long last, after finding their way to the park she’d mentioned, they turned onto the street she said her house was on.  There was one of those horseless carriages in front of the house she said was hers, a stark white one with blue markings and something red and blue and clear on top.  On either side of the carriage was two men in black uniforms having some solemn discussion over the top of the low carriage.  The sight made Y/N shrink beside him, and for a moment, Levi thought it might be trouble.  Before he could draw his knife, she spoke up.

“My parents must have called the police,” she mumbled, the embarrassment clear in her voice.

He was pretty sure that wasn’t the uniform of the Military Police, but she didn’t seem to be panicked over the sight of them, just embarrassed and shrinking into herself.  He still stayed on guard as they drew closer, the two men noticing them as they drew closer.

“Are you kids lost?” one of them asked while Y/N was still mostly hidden by Levi standing in front of her.  However, she stepped out enough to be seen with Sabrina trailing behind her, her cheeks burning red as she spoke in a voice so quiet Levi thought the two might not have heard her at first.

“I live here,” she mumbled.

“Y/N L/N?” the other one asked as they both straightened, getting a better look at her as they drew just a little closer.  She nodded, and her grip on Levi’s arm loosened slightly as she moved hesitantly forward, pulling the dog along with her.  The two men approached, and Levi tensed, expecting trouble.  “Your parents have been worried sick, where have you…”

Y/N pulled out of his grip, apparently perfectly fine with the two strangers in front of her house.  Maybe surface police looked different?  That didn’t make any sense to him, but she seemed pretty sure, no hesitation as she approached them.  For a moment, as Y/N pulled free of Levi’s grip and both of the officers got on either side of her to make sure she was all right and take her inside, their backs were to Levi, only for a moment.  But that moment was all it took.  In a moment that was becoming quite familiar to him, Levi blinked, and the scene disappeared, and he was standing in the middle of the street in the Underground.

This, he wasn’t okay with.  He didn’t even get to see her safely through the door to her home, didn’t even get to make sure those men really were safe.  What if they hadn’t been?  What if they had been kidnappers or something worse?  What if he’d just left her in more danger than he’d found her?  He didn’t know enough about the surface to feel confident that she was going to be all right until she walked through the door to her home, and he didn’t get that luxury.

He was going to be worried sick about her until he saw her again, which, hopefully, would be soon.  He had to know she was all right.

Levi’s gaze was drawn to one of the stairwells to the surface, and his gaze intensified, expression contemplative.

Perhaps, for once, he could find his way to the surface and look for her himself.  If he was careful, he might be able to stay out of reach of the military police above ground long enough to find where she lived.  He knew what it looked like now.

But first he had to get up that stairway...

Next Chapter---->

(Strikethroughs Couldn’t Be Tagged)

Tags:   @humanitys-hottestsoldier​ @artist-bby @kaz2y5-pie​ @tartheyes​ @super-peace-fangirl​ @huntersbunker​ @nefelimalfoy​ @soft-levi-girl-blog​ @honeygivemeachainsaw @regalillegal​ @sugas-daddy7​ @cathyannecookie @chaoticshepardplaid​

Levi Tags:  @clary-quinn​ 

[anevolutionarynecessity]

Overanalysis Hours: What if Geraldine killed Kenny?

Season 3 has introduced plenty of new characters. Some of them act as interesting foils to the protagonists, while others are more mysterious and linger on the sidelines for now. 

One of the most suspicious characters has been Geraldine. The fandom seems to have reached consensus that Konstantin is responsible for Kenny’s murder. But I want to point at Geraldine, because I think the possibility that she killed Kenny would be a thrilling and compelling twist.

The trope of a seemingly good character hiding a terrible secret or being capable of atrocities is hardly a new one. And in the world of Killing Eve, it wouldn’t be altogether surprising if this is the case with Geraldine. Is it? 

Let’s consider it!

Who Is Geraldine?

Geraldine is Carolyn’s estranged daughter. We don’t know too much about her except for a few pieces: she is self proclaimed “highly empathic”. She comes across as sweet and innocent, not to mention fairly clueless. Perhaps the most interesting thing we know is that Geraldine is very good at Russian.

Her introduction is sudden. But it makes sense because funerals do tend to draw together even the most scattered families and other people related to the deceased. When Geraldine finds Konstantin at Kenny’s funeral, we learn that she remembers him from her childhood: 

She goes on to recall how Konstantin was there to protect her from anything scary, and that he taught her how to swear in Russian. Aside of the surprise that Konstantin is familiar to Geraldine, this interaction reveals crucial of information:

Geraldine craves having loving, protective parents, who express their care for her by protecting her from fears and comforting her when she’s distressed. She clearly didn’t get this from Carolyn.

Geraldine knows how to speak Russian. And not just because Konstantin showed her; she pronounces swear words flawlessly, as if she’s been keeping up with the language well into adulthood. 

Interestingly, The Mirror has interview with Fiona Shaw who reveals:

She [Geraldine] hasn't on the surface anything to do with the family business. That's not her interest. You'll find quite quickly that she's the one who got away. But she comes back and she tries to organise the household in a more organised way, which Carolyn really doesn't like.

The relationship between Carolyn and Geraldine is clearly tense and fraught with troubles. This is in contrast to the easygoing manner Geraldine has with Konstantin. On that note, an example of Geraldine’s cluelessness (or willful blindness) is when Konstantin bumps into her outside the post office. He gives her the magnet that she  places in Carolyn’s house so Konstantin can spy on them.

This interaction shows that Geraldine aches for a loving family. Of course, Konstantin is being manipulative, but his seemingly kind gesture moves Geraldine so much she tears up. We can tell that Geraldine has suffered from Carolyn’s cold, emotionally unavailable, and harsh parenting style. This is made clear to us in S3E3, when Eve takes a strong stance:

Despite this, Geraldine seems to have retained a compassionate and understanding personality. In S3E2, she encourages Carolyn to go out on her first date in a very long time. This also conveniently means that Carolyn is away from the house for a long while. Carolyn rebuffs Geraldine’s encouragement, claiming she regrets revealing that it’s a date (which is indicative of the low level of trust between them). Two of Geraldine’s remarks are striking:

The first one hints at Geraldine’s repressed longing for a closer relationship with her mother. Carolyn is determined to keep her out and remains secretive even beyond what her job demands. That’s obviously driven a rift between them.

Geraldine’s second comment about Stalin exposes more than it seems to at first glance. Apparently, Geraldine does have some awareness of “the family business” after all; she knows that Carolyn has had “Cold War boyfriends”. Geraldine also clearly knows her Russian history, which ties in rather well with her knowledge of Russian. All this indicates that she’s not as clueless as she seems.

A great visual of the chasm between Geraldine and Carolyn is when she comes home after surviving Villanelle’s assassination of The Twelve’s accountant.

Geraldine hesitates. She’s taken aback by her mother’s bleeding injury but is unsure whether to comfort her physically,  To see the seemingly untouchable Carolyn this shaken and actually hurt must have unnerved Geraldine. Eventually, Carolyn allows a hug after half heartedly rejecting Geraldine initially.

Keeping all of these instances in mind, we can understand that Geraldine is burdened by childhood trauma of neglectful and emotionally repressive parenting. She has always felt second best in the Martens household. She has had to compete with Kenny for her mother’s attention, validation, and any shred of emotional expression aimed at her. 

This gives us insight into why Geraldine may have killed Kenny.

The Motive

Simply put, Geraldine’s motive for killing Kenny is sibling rivalry.

The surest way to no longer have to compete for Carolyn’s attention is for Geraldine to permanently eliminate her brother. This also has the effect of being the perfect excuse for Geraldine to insinuate herself back into her mother’s life. And with Kenny dead, Geraldine is able to try and get Carolyn to need her more and actually recognize her.

The scene that convinced me that Geraldine killed Kenny was in S3E4. Carolyn is coming back from her meeting with Paul, where he promises to give her more resources to investigate Kenny’s death. She peers through the car window to see Konstantin in her neighbourhood:

As soon as Carolyn walks in, Geraldine asks why she is home at this hour of the day. 

Carolyn remarks that it’s odd to be home during the day, and pointedly wonders what Geraldine does with herself all day. 

Geraldine seems very agitated. Carolyn asks if she’s had any visitors (and we know she’s suspicious about Konstantin). Geraldine responds evasively, and we sense that she is lying and withholding something important. Carolyn is onto it for sure.

Then Geraldine has a breakdown. 

The way she comes across here gives the impression that she’s guilty. And also, that she wants very badly to be noticed, to be caught, for what she has done. 

Carolyn turns coolly to go upstairs. Geraldine drops to her knees. She’s pleading.

I hear bitterness and wistfulness in Geraldine’s tone. This ties into what we know about how she grew up and the kind of dysfunctional dynamic she has with Carolyn. Of course, Carolyn is as responsive as a block of granite; she sees her anguished daughter on her knees and yet again deflects. Tries to shut her out. But Geraldine won’t let her.

Another, sinister way to read this scene is that Geraldine is frustrated that she’s not getting attention for killing Kenny. Like she did the most extreme thing to get mummy’s attention and Carolyn still isn’t responding.

Carolyn’s rejection wounds Geraldine. She looks very resentful and plainly angry. 

Geraldine can be seen as a wayward daughter, desperate to feel parental affection and driven to murder her direct competition for that very same affection. Geraldine wants Carolyn to pay attention to her, to feel important and that she matters, and ultimately, for Carolyn to need her.  

Perhaps this thread is as old as Cain and Abel. If all of this is why Geraldine killed Kenny, we can also guess how she did it.

The Method

We know that Kenny was thrown off the roof of the Bitter Pill building. 

It’s important to ask: why would he leave his work behind and go all the way up to the roof if he didn’t already know the person? I doubt he simply wanted to enjoy the view. Especially since he knew Eve was coming to see him soon. 

The answer to this question is as wickedly simple as Geraldine’s motive: she lured Kenny to the roof.

Geraldine may not have been directly involved in the “family business” while she was growing up, but by thrusting Kenny off the roof, she’s definitely involved herself now.

I don’t think that Geraldine is aware how way over her head she actually is. This is precisely what makes it easy for Konstantin to cover up her involvement and to pull most of the strings behind the scenes. I have no doubt that he and Geraldine are collaborating. 

It may have been Konstantin who was instructed to eliminate Kenny for poking around in the Geneva account, but we know that Konstantin is crafty and duplicitous: in Geraldine, he found a perfectly willing and luckily capable murderer. 

After all, Konstantin was already in London. And as far as we know Geraldine was too. She showed up rather promptly to Kenny’s funeral. Additionally, the fact that Geraldine also meets Konstantin at this occasion cannot have been mere coincidence; sure, it looks to us like it’s their first meeting since she was a child, but we don’t know that this is actually the case. Why would Konstantin even be at Kenny’s funeral? He’s only met him briefly once in S1E7; he seems much too involved for a passing acquaintance. 

It’s all very suspicious.

We can further extrapolate that the six million Euros was siphoned from The Twelve by Konstantin. Why? To split between himself and Geraldine for a job well done, of course. This gives her further motivation to go through with the kill. The money, combined with Geraldine’s personal motives, would be more than enough for her. 

It might be very cynical to dread seemingly nice and decent characters, to scrutinize them as if they’ve all got something terrible to hide. Or it could just be very sensible and indeed, a good precaution. 

But if there’s one thing Killing Eve has taught us, it’s that no one is who they appear to be at first glance. 

[elonaackerman]

Why the Ackertalk must happen: An analysis of Mikasa and Levi relationship.

1) Their meeting

So we all know Mikasa hated Levi in the first place, since he beat Eren violently during the trial. If Armin didn’t stop her, she probably would have attacked him. Instead, because of our favorite blondie holding her back, she just gave to her future captain a death glare. And what is so amazing is that he actually noticed it, and you can see how intrigued he was by Mikasa at that moment.

Since he is praised as humanity strongest, it surprises him that a cadet shows no fear looking at him like if she wanted to kill him and was sure to be capable to do it. And if it wasn’t already very obvious that Mikasa catched Levi’s mind, the name of the chapter finishes the job: « still can’t see » in English, and « made me o mirenai » in japanese. I think the English translation is not on point, because if you look at the french translation, it could be translated as: « an unbearable stare ». The meaning is completely different and gives a lot of weight to Mikasa’s look and how Levi felt about it. It places their interaction and meeting at the center of the chapter. It’s not something you do for characters who do not have a particular storyline together, especially when the main character’s fate is also part of the chapter.

2) The Female Titan

Here comes what is usually refereed as the key moment which started the rivamika ship: the rescue of Mikasa by Levi in the forest. First of all, Levi grabbed Mikasa’s waist, and we won’t lie, it was cute.

BUT what comes after this is even more interesting, because I think Levi recognized Mikasa since the start, even if he couldn’t remember where he saw her in the first place. If you look at his eyes, you can see how shocked he is to see Mikasa in such a situation: I think that’s the moment where Levi started to see himself in her, because she behaved exactly like him years ago when a titan took the lives of Isabel and Farlan: recklessly and with rage. Then, Mikasa acts very agressively towards Levi, and doesn’t show him the respect a cadet normally has for a superior.

That’s how Levi definitely recognizes her: the girl who seems to hate him and who is disrespectful towards the hierarchy is also the one who wanted to slap him at the trial despite him being the strongest human soldier. Levi redeems her, and looks at Mikasa very strangely, silently, his gaze lost in the vague: Mikasa seems to ask herself what he is doing and is shocked by his behavior, because he doesn’t stop staring at her but doesn’t say a word. I still ask myself what he was thinking in that moment. It’s a very mysterious scene. I mean, YES Levi always looks at Mikasa silently in a lot of panels (that’s also cool for the fandom, of course), but this time, Isayama focused several big panels on this single silent interaction, as if Levi was analysing Mikasa on such a deep way that it made her uncomfortable. And the way that he then stop the eye contact with a sort of frustration in the eyes is also very questionable. It intrigues me very much.

After that very tense moment, Levi explains his plan to Mikasa, and reminds her that she must obey to his orders. For the first time, Levi and Mikasa cooperate and show how deadly their Ackerman duo is. Also, Mikasa recognizes Levi strenght, saying the titan’s blood doesn’t even touch his skin since he is incredibly fast. She looked at him with a great attention, observed his technique and acknowledged him. When she fights Annie later in Sina, she will copy his famous « spinning » technique.

From that moment, Mikasa’s perception of Levi totally changed.

After slicing Annie, Levi also saved Mikasa again and broke his ankle. What a great episode to be a rivamika shipper.

3) Season 2: BLANK

I will go quickly on season 2: because of his injury, Levi can’t fight. Mikasa felt guilty for that. When Eren is kidnapped, she tells Armin she is not confident to take him back because this time, Levi isn’t with her. It shows how she values him but also how she likes to fight with him, since she feels stronger by his side. And that’s a great thing knowing that Mikasa said she was stronger than everyone else in the first episodes (and she was right). She finally found an equal.

4) Season 3: THE RIVAMIKA HOLY GRAAL

A] An incredible relationship evolution

So here comes my favorite season, not just for the rivamika, of course, but it’s still the one which provided us more and more moments between our two favorite Ackermans. This season shows Mikasa becoming Levi’s right arm, and not just on a fighting level. Especially in the manga, we can see how much Mikasa’s opinion is important for Levi, it doesn’t seem like she is one of his soldiers but his partner. Of course, Levi has always treated Mikasa in a special way, but it’s more obvious in season 3:

(Here is Levi adressing violently to Historia to make her understand something, and then Levi adressing himself to Eren also to make him realize something, but justifying his words to Mikasa: her opinion and her feelings matter for him. Nobody can denie he acts in an unique way towards this girl)

In a panel, Mikasa looks at Levi with a disappointed look because he said something about a plan implying Eren that didn’t please her. It seems like she is waiting for him to say something in answer to her reaction. Almost as if she felt sort of betrayed after them cooperating for so long. Does she think she has some power over him ?

Now, on Levi’s side: he knows that Mikasa will listen to him, because as she said it herself, she wants to follow her captain’s decisions. It’s very obvious in the anime when he stops her from running after Eren TWO TIMES !!

This season also shows Mikasa caring and sort of apologizing for Levi’s leg wound, which proves that she clearly doesn’t hate him anymore.

B] The Ackerman link

Now comes the very important part of the whole Ackerman plot. With Kenny being introduced, we learn that Ackermans are a bloodline that couldn’t be controlled by the Fritz king because of their ability to resist to memory manipulation: that’s why their clan was persecuted.

Levi soon finds out that he is an Ackerman, just like Mikasa, the gloomy girl he knows so well. And it’s a big deal, not just for the story, but for Levi himself. I am sure, as I already said, that he sees himself in Mikasa since the start: it seems like he doesn’t want her to make the same mistakes as he did. Like I showed it, he is very gentle with her, always checks if she is okay, calms her down everytime. Levi always felt a deep connection to her. Since he now knows that he is an Ackerman, he probably feels even more close and identical to her. However, he doesn’t tell Mikasa that they are part of the same bloodline.

However, he talks about their awakening with her, and everybody is surprised to hear their discussion. Mikasa is sharing her trauma, and she doesn’t seem to hesitate to do it: at this point of the story, she feels comfortable with Levi and she trusts him.

While they speak, it’s almost as if they forgot the others: they are looking at each other eye to eye, and their little talk is very mysterious and sort of intimate. At that moment, Levi established a link that cannot be cut. Mikasa and him are the last survivors of their clan, and they are mirrors, even if he is the only one to know it. (Well, Armin sort of noticed it too, immediately associating Mikasa and Levi in S1, and mistaking Levi and Mikasa the first time the group met the captain-chibi, but it was only about their fighting abilities, not abour their other similarities)

Guess what comes now: THE EPIC ACKERBOWL

So, if a lot of people think the ackerbowl wasted the relationship building of Levi and Mikasa, I think it just showed us how closer they grew during this season.

First of all, Mikasa doesn’t attack Levi because she wants to (as she did in season 1) but because she NEEDS to in order to save Armin. She isn’t happy to do that, and even says « please » to Levi when she could have just insult him or blame him like she used to do: they are not real ennemies, just two people in a great emotional distress wanting to save their closer friends.

It’s also impressive to see how dangerous Ackermans are: together, they are unstoppable, but as opponents, they are so equal that it is scary.

Another important thing: Levi isn’t mad as a normal person with a blade on his throat would be against Mikasa, he still tries to talk to her LIKE WOW that girl just attacked you but you still don’t hate her ? That’s because Levi cares for her, and that’s canon. The fact that she is an Ackerman probably leads him to be more attached to her. And of course, that’s an obvious parallel of his confrontation with Erwin in No regrets. Can we also say how sad and shocked Levi was when he saw Mikasa in tears ? He was really shaken by this sight.

5)Now, what about the Ackertalk ?

Like I said, Levi kept his Ackerman status and his link to Mikasa to himself. I think that, knowing how Mikasa is attached to her loved ones, to the ones she calls « family », he didn’t want to make her suffer by growing closer if he must die later, especially when he was only focused on killing Zeke.

But as the last two survivors of the Ackerman clan, Levi and Mikasa MUST talk about their legacy, their relationship and also their similarities. This post is nearly anime only but what I can tell you is that the Ackertalk still didn’t happen in the manga and probably won’t: that’s the biggest waste ever.

Mikasa and Levi are now both in difficult situations towards their Ackerbond with Eren and Erwin. Mikasa clearly needs Levi’s advices and support (I made another post about Levi’s character development, he is freeing himself alone from the ackerbond, and his ackerbond to Erwin was never toxic like Mikasa’s one to Eren was, in my opinion at least, so Mikasa needs him more than he needs her on the emotional/spirit level. On the fighting level however, Mikasa is now the one carrying him). Anyway, she needs to realize how powerful she actually is regarding how Eren treated her, because she lost her confidence in herself and in her autonomy (I don’t think Eren meant what he said, but still, Mikasa is now thinking she is some kind of slave and doesn’t go through any development). And Levi is the only one who can make her understand that. Because he is like her, and he knows it.

And should I talk about how the distance between Levi and Mikasa in the manga is unnatural ? They barely talk, and when they do it’s blank on Mikasa’s side. After 80 chapters she said, suprise guys: « captain »: THANKS ISAYAMA ! I am about to haunt your future onsen you damn yokai-_- Either he completely forgot about the Ackerman plot line, either something happened between Mikasa and Levi that we are not aware of, and which would be shown in the next chapters, what would explain the tension there is between them.

I hope this article pleased you, english is not my mother tongue so please pardon me if I made mistakes in my writing. It was very complex to sum up all the rivamika logic in one post, because there is always more to say about them. I hope that, even if they do not become a couple, they will grow closer and support each other as the amazing duo they should be. Shingeki is nearly finished, and I must say I am really happy that I’ve been part of the rivamika fandom since the start, even if haters were hard to take sometimes, this ship and this fandom are incredible and made me grow on many levels. Rivamika will always be great, canon or not, as long as we fuel it with our passion ❤️

[queen-of-my-goofball-army]

Favorite Voice Actors

For those of you that know me, you know that my number one special interest is cartoons and the people that voice my favorite characters. Studying my heroes and watching them in interviews became a favorite pass time of mine. A lot of my friends thought that it was really weird and they stopped talking to me because of it. For a long time before I got diagnosed as having aspergers I talked forever about it. I think that both bored and confused people. For me, I love voice acting because anybody can be anything. You can watch a show and years later be like I know that voice it’s insert name here if you’re like me. True, certain actors have something that is brought to every character (I can think of one prime example later on down the list) but it is always about the heart that they put into their characters. 

10. Charlie Adler: I’ll admit that I am mostly a fan of him due to the amount of work that he has done and the quantity. This man was the voice of Cow, Chicken and Big Red guy in Cow and Chicken. True, this show was past my time (and if it wasn’t I feel like it would get the Fairly OddParents treatment where my parents would forbid me to watch it.) When I listened to his episode of Talkin’ Toons I found his story’s really interesting and compelling. I can only imagine how much work and effort went into all of his characters in that show. To develop one character is one thing but to be able to switch between them like a deck of cards is a completely different thing. I did however watch a lot of Brandy and Mr. Whiskers when I was younger!! Growing up with that show and hearing him play Mr. Whiskers brought me a lot of joy when I was sick at home and for that I will always be a huge fan of his voice and his work. 

9. Jim Cummings. If I were to say that one voice actor had a ton of versatility it would probably be him. I was a major Tigger fan when I was growing up. Not just that but I loved Raymond when Princess and The Frog came out. He is actually my mom’s favorite voice actor. But I also loved CatDog when I would see that on reruns, I grew to love Darkwing Duck and countless other shows that he leant his voice to. Studying voice acting and the people that do it has led to me finding some things out that I would rather not. Especially when I found that he wasn’t actually the nicest person in real life. But, to me that doesn’t matter when it comes to this list. He is here because so many of his characters made my childhood just a little bit happier. When I was thinking about favorite voice actors I considered two things, personality and character content. This one is here just for character content. 

8. Bob Bergen: I reblogged a post a long time ago with this man at the helm. What he can do every time I see him do it blows my mind. Bob has been the voice of Porky Pig since pretty much Tiny Toons back in the early 90′s. He has stated that there have been some others but when I think Porky this is the name that comes along with it. Watching him do his thing is something that continually blows my mind. Listening to his life story on Rob Paulsen’s podcast Talkin’ Toons is something that inspired me more than anything. It’s this story of persistence and resilience from a young age. He is one of the few voice actors that actually got to talk with Mel Blanc when he was fourteen. I love his genuine heart and the ability that he has to jump into his character full force. Porky was a big portion of my childhood and I grew up laughing at his “silly” stutter. It wasn’t until I got older and learned that the stutter is an actual art form that I learned something entirely different. 

7. Richard Horvitz: Most of you that know me might be surprised at this rather seemingly low placement for somebody that I greatly admire. I mean he was Invader Zim and Billy from Billy and Mandy for crying out loud!! I just bought a print for the man but really when I thought about it, he hasn’t really inspired me as much as my top six have. I love his sense of humor and his love of musical theater but he hasn’t taught me anything life altering. I think that he is hands down the funniest voice actor in Hollywood. I could listen to him make jokes forever and just talk in his voice but at the same time he is so other worldly and knows so much about the craft that it inspired me that way. He is as most of his fans joke “the dad voice actor” complete with dad jokes. I love Invader Zim so much, the show has helped me through a lot of loneliness and emotional moments in my life reminding me to keep laughing at life’s craziness. I also love Moxxie from Helluva Boss. All in all Richard is a fabulous man and actor. He has helped me figure out the kind of person that I wanted to be and I owe him a lot of laughter hours. 

6. Greg Cipes: Can I talk about probably my OG hero for voice acting? When I was six I spent a lot of time in front of the television watching the original Teen Titans. My favorite character was Beast Boy his character that he played. When I say that BB changed the way that I think about my life that is not an exaggeration. He was one of the first characters that made me laugh so hard my stomach hurt. Growing up I had to fight people for his validation. It seemed like nobody loved him as much as I did. Cut to me in middle school I’m a bit more grownup and I start channel flipping. I wind up on Nickelodeon and see the reboot of Ninja Turtles. I figure I’ll watch it and see what all the hype is about. I hear Mikey open his mouth and instantly I get this rush of my childhood coming back. It was one of the first times that I made the connection between voice actor and character. Greg taught me so much vicariously through his character. He taught me about fun and laughter, about the importance of feeling lonely doesn’t mean that you���re alone in the world and even if you’re the goofball that doesn’t mean that’s all you have to be. The fact that he is such a relaxed and genuine person only adds to the admiration of this vegan beach bum. 

5. Corey Burton: This is a very personal hero of mine. It’s one that I hold very close to me because of one thing. As far as I know, there have been very few voice actors on the autism spectrum. Corey is the only one that I have ever found. He’s the man that actually surpassed every expectation and said screw live performing it makes me anxious I’m going to get my experience through something that I know I’m good at radio. So he does radio and becomes really good at that. Then he goes to cartoons. He does Dale in Chip And Dale Rescue Rangers with a certain feminine icon of mine. He gets Ludwig Von Drake and has been that voice actor since the original DuckTales. Then he hits the peak, he was Mole in Atlantis Lost Empire a big budget Disney movie. I am so often inspired by my top six favorite voice actors. They are the ones that took me by the figurative hand and told me hey you can do get through whatever it is that you are struggling with. It just takes a little bit of laughter through the bad times, and an optimistic attitude that things will slowly but surely get better. Corey was the one that actually got himself to the top of the mountain and got to say that he did it. I admire that about him so much because for a while I thought to myself “Hey, he did it so can I”. 

4. J Michael Tatum: In terms of anime voice actors, even though I love a great many, only one has ever remained of legend status. It comes yet again with a rather personal story. I was 17, lost and a little bit confused. I knew that I was ace but I had no idea how to tell my parents. It was around this time when I was getting back into anime due to Yuri On Ice, Space Dandy and Princess Jellyfish. I decide what the hell I’m going to watch some panels of my favorite voice actors for anime haven’t done that since I was thirteen. I had always loved Tatum as Kyoya Ootori in Ouran High School Host Club and France in Hetalia but other than that I didn’t know very much about him. I looked up panels for him and came across one for Florida Anime Con filmed that year. In it, he talked about being gay a lot. It implanted a seed that would inspire me. If he could be out and proud then why was I stoping myself? It might sound silly or stupid to some but to me it changed everything. From that moment on I loved everything Tatum. It led me to discover my love for Rei in Free, Okabe in Stein’s Gate and many other countless roles of his. 

3. Tom Kenny: This man right here, he is the OG voice actor special interest of mine. He is the first name that I remember hearing because he did so much for Nickelodeon showing children how he did his most iconic voice. Who is that iconic voice you may ask yourself? Well it’s Spongebob flipping patties Squarepants. If that alone doesn’t put him at this spot then I don’t know what does. Like so many children in the early 200s I spent a good chunk of my childhood with me and my parents on the couch and this show on the television screen. You want to talk about legacy? This man voiced his way into the hearts of millions of children across the united states. I remember the first time I saw his actual face. I was flipping through channels and I saw this man on Nickelodeon. He had a goofy smile on his face and I figured what the hell I’ll give this a watch even though it’s not a cartoon. Then he started talking he introduced himself as Tom Kenny. Then he starts doing Spongebob. My five year old mind was blown. I never forgot his name ever since. Every time I would watch Teen Titans and Mambo would be on that episode I would be like “Oh that’s Spongebob’s voice actor”. It was that moment that changed everything for me. I have never looked back from my main special interest ever since. He has helped me through so much. Whether he be my favorite exorbitant yellow sponge, or Dog on CatDog, or Lazlo on Camp Lazlo part of me will always be with Tom Kenny. Keep making children happy Tom you’ve been doing a great job so far. 

2. Tress MacNeille: Hoo boy this is a big one for me. For those of you that haven’t ever been around here before and don’t know the name of my character on my icon her name is Dot Warner (the Warner sister) and this is her voice actress. I hope that she changes your life and inspires you as much as she has mine. When I was nine I had an incredible fourth grade teacher. She showed us Yakko’s Nations Of The World for geography class. She also encouraged us to watch the rest of the show because it was full of educational songs and humor. I went home that day with on thought in mind. I wanted to watch the rest of that series. I go home and I make one distinction, hey that Warner sister I can kind of talk like her a little bit if I try hard enough. It was a little bit harder back in those days and I talk a lot more like her now with the reboot out in the world. This is the first and only impression I can do. I can do Dot and that’s it. And to me that was what mattered I didn’t need to be able to do anybody else. There aren’t a whole lot of woman voice actress’s that can keep working. All we have is Tara Strong, Cree Summer and the one and only goddess Tress MacNeille. Tress has helped me out so much in my life. I have never been the most confident person alive but from a young age hearing her absolutely smack down the actors of her brother’s in the show (Rob Paulsen and Jess Harnell) something about that inspired me. It was around this point in my life that I learned I can speak my mind and just not give a hoot if anybody feels the same way that I do. I can make my opinions known to other people. I was sixteen when I made that discovery and Tress was there for me all the way cheering me on in her Dot voice.  I owe a lot to her and I wish that she was more active on social media so that I could have the opportunity to thank her for everything that she has done vicariously for me. 

1. Rob Paulsen: If you were surprised by this, we probably haven’t talked before. At least not extensively because my dog do I love this man!! He has inspired me more than any other and he is not just my favorite voice actor but I consider him my ultimate hero in life. Where do I even start with him? There have been so many moments where I’ve fallen in love with one of his characters. I suppose one should start at the beginning. As I mentioned with Tress, my introduction through Animaniacs was Yakko’s Nations Of The World. This moment it changed everything for me because this was the first time that I could actually remember seeing Rob do a role. Yakko was the first cartoon character to actually make an impact on me. It was the first time that I ever loved a character that deeply. It was also the first time I ever made my own character to pair up with a canon character not even knowing that I was doing it. Ever since then a part of me has known okay that’s what Rob talks like. Now thanks to Tom Kenny I can recognize him in other places. And recognize him I did. From there I found that he was Carl on Jimmy Neutron, Mark Chang my favorite character on Fairly OddParents and countless other roles that we could be here all day for. As I mentioned, I was in middle school when the 2012 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles were originally airing. When I watched that first episode, Donatello sounded really familiar to me. So I waited to the end credits only to find out that holy hell that was Rob!! The same person that played my favorite fast talking older brother. I found out about his fight with cancer a few years after it happened. This is when he went from favorite voice actor to hero legend status. He fought his way out of hell so that he could continue to sing “United States, Canada, Mexico, Panama, Heidi, Jamaica, Peru” until the end of his days. Reading his book changed my life forever as it gave me insight to not just the man who made me laugh, cry and cry laughing listening to his podcast but that same man had a whole ass heart and soul that he put into every character that he did. I find it really hard to explain what he means to me. He’s my hero, the one that made me laugh when I was a sad and lonely elementary schooler and the one that continues to bring me back to my childhood every time I see him in a show. I don’t feel the compulsion to give strangers hugs very often but if I ever met Rob I don’t think that I would be able to stop myself from giving a hug and just telling him thank you. Thank you for making my childhood and the childhoods of countless others much better than they would have been without you. 

And that’s it folks!! Whew that’s a lot of me rambling but I feel a bit better now. Finals preparation week has officially started for me and I just wanted to give myself this big ol’ boost of serotonin before I went into it.