#their goals how they try to build connections and how their previous treatment of others prevented them from reaching them

[cursedvibes]

Idk if I’m the only one who feels a bit sentimental about ch240-243. It’s just got me thinking about how there’s actually someone for everyone. Like you know how people might think they’re weird or they’re being perceived as strange and off-putting by those around them but, in fact, there will ALWAYS be someone who matches your vibe and celebrates your individuality. What a beautiful thing connection is.

I’m not even sure if it’s intended by Gege but the last 7? chapters have been greatly influenced by themes of loneliness and connection and (in my opinion) Takaba and Kenjaku are no exception. Both somewhat lonely in what they do, in what they’re passionate about, both are misunderstood and perceived as “weirdos” by those around them, finding each other and being able to connect through comedy, giving each other what they longed for (Kenny’s “it’s been centuries since my heart danced like this” and Takaba’s “my dream stage… I don’t want this to end”). It’s just… wow?

Also I saw a little analysis about how there are two roles in Japanese comedy-duos, basically one person is telling the jokes and acting weird and the other is acting more serious by fending off the partner’s jokes, so in ch.243 it was Kenny and Takaba, respectively. Takaba’s talent as a comedian shone through as he’s generally more serious and his previous attempts to act as the one who cracks the jokes all the time led him to failure (ch241). But now, thanks to Kenny taking up the “unserious” role he was finally able to finesse his performance. This is such a unique battle out of everything we previously had… “I don’t want this to end” me too Takaba… me too…

P.S. im kinda manifesting that one day you’ll write a fic about these two 🥲 I absolutely adore your works

There's always someone out there who matches you perfectly and it might be the person you least expect, like Japan's worst terrorist or a depressed comedian. Sometimes it also might take you a millennia to find that person, but that makes it all the more worth it when you do.

No but seriously, I totally understand you. It's amazing how Gege managed to build up such a deep connection between Kenjaku and Takaba and thereby not only gave us some much needed further characterization for one of our main villains, but also fleshed out someone who used to be only a comedic side character. Although the fact that Takaba would have more depth was already foreshadowed in his introduction. If anything, him becoming a comedic sidekick was more surprising.

The focus on loneliness, love and being able to connect with other people in the last chapters was very intentional I think and I honestly like how much the approach to these themes differs between Kenjaku and Sukuna. Besides my problems with the Gojo vs Sukuna fight, those topics were brushed on there, but not really explored in depth. Until we got Takaba vs Kenjaku. The main difference here and what allowed us to get a deeper understanding of the themes and how they relates to these two characters is that contrary to Sukuna's fights, Takaba and Kenjaku's fight was more a dialogue where they both discussed their feelings on building connections and became a better person through it. Both of them learned something new (also about themselves) and came out of it as changed people. It's not just one person barraging the other with their issues or slapping their egos around.

Yorozu vs Sukuna is very self-serving. Yorozu is lonely and she thinks having Sukuna by her side will help her, but she is ultimately not interested in really connecting to him, she just projects her own issues onto him. She says herself that having his corpse would be enough. She wants to own him, her attraction to him is because she sees herself in him and her love is a love of herself, there isn't really anything romantic or sexual to it. Similarly, Sukuna has no interest in her either. The fight is only there so he can try out the new CT he just got. Both are essentially in their own world and while it is nice that Yorozu makes a weapon for him, they don't actually connect. Yorozu wants to teach Sukuna her understanding of love, but he already has his own and neither of them budge on their positions or make concessions.

Gojo vs Sukuna is a bit difficult to summarize because it's kinda all over the place and we don't get much from either of them in terms of character development or thoughts in general until the last chapter. Still, it's again someone trying to build a one-sided connection to Sukuna, wanting to teach him love and failing. I would say Gojo is a little more successful than Yorozu because at least Sukuna acknowledges him and says he will remember him. Gojo says he didn't manage to reach Sukuna and teach him "love", but he left an emotional impact. Sukuna changed Gojo to a degree, but only so much as in he killed him and thereby shoved him off the pedestal he put himself on and what kept him from having equal relationships with people. Bit late for that and it won't actually have any long-lasting consequences for Gojo because well he's dead, but it's something. Ultimately, there is no change in Sukuna's character however. There is a physical impact on him from the fight, but not much in terms of emotions. He isn't forced to reconsider any of his positions, he isn't challenged in his character. If anything it only got reinforced because he's confirmed to be "the strongest".

Kashimo vs Sukuna is another instance of someone coming with their issues to Sukuna and pressuring him to fix them. Kashimo wants to build a connection to Sukuna and I think they are actually more genuine with their intentions than Yorozu, but there is still a one-sided connection. Their relationship isn't balanced. Sukuna is supposed to give out wisdom, but Kashimo has nothing to offer him and while it is nice that we got a deeper look into his philosophy, there is nothing he really gained from his interaction with Kashimo. We are learning new things about Sukuna, but he doesn't. I think this will only happen when we get to Yuuji vs Sukuna because Yuuji affects Sukuna on a deeper level than any of the other three. He's the only one that can meaningfully challenge Sukuna because they would finally leave the premise of Sukuna's whole worldview (strength) behind. But we'll see.

Takaba vs Kenjaku is very different. If we were to compare it to the formula of the previous fights, Takaba comes up saying "Let me teach you about love (comedy/fun)" and Kenjaku's response is "Oh I've actually been dying to hear about this. Give me your best shot." Since the start of the Yuki fight Gege has put more emphasis on showing us that Kenjaku is essentially just bored and lonely. They want to connect to people, that is the easiest way to entertain them as well and they don't actually enjoy entertainment without having anyone to share it with, but they and their longstanding goals are what's hindering them. Their plan distanced them from their closest friend and left them quite desperately searching for new companions. Their plan also motivates them to kill Culling Game players, despite them seeing it actually as a waste of potential. That's how they entered the fight. They want to be entertained and they want a new friend. Takaba offers that to them.

I think initially Takaba's offer wasn't entirely sincere, just a ploy to distract them. He might've been already interested in Kenjaku's motivations for causing all this suffering, but he didn't actually expect them to connect so well and so quickly over their shared interest in comedy. First, Takaba gets challenged however. We learn he wants a partner just as much as Kenjaku. He can't enjoy comedy anymore because he needs a partner to succeed in his performance and deep down he is actually just searching for someone who understands him. Due to getting so fixated on performing successfully and pushing himself to lean into types of performances he doesn't actually like that much (playing the funny man), just for the approval of others, he also ended up pushing the people he did perform with away. He couldn't take any criticism and only continued further down the wrong path, leaving him depressed. A less extreme version of how Kenjaku tended to isolate themselves and subconsciously worked against their own interests.

Kenjaku makes him realize what he actually wants, that he has to change himself, his approach to comedy and that he needs to actually try to connect to people and not shy away from it in fear of criticism. This is already different from the previous fights. They both have an investment in the other and want more than simply beating the other person into following their worldview.

Then we get Takaba forcing Kenjaku to reflect on themselves and what they actually want. Despite how persuasive his CT is, Kenjaku's realization that they are having fun in playing around with these silly scenarios and that they for once are actually enjoying the Culling Game for what it is (a chance to meet interesting players, not just a stepping stone for something greater) doesn't seem to be fake. The nature of his CT also makes them realize that if they want to survive they have no choice, but to open themselves up a little bit and cooperate with each other. That's when both of them finally reach their true goal.

They have to work together because that's the only way Takaba can fulfil his wish to perform comedy with a partner, someone he actually connects with and who understands him. It also provides Kenjaku with the friend they have been looking for. Someone equal (as a comedy partner would be, Takaba is able to keep up with their imagination, just how they countered his made-up scenarios earlier), who won't bore them. As Kenjaku said afterwards, they actually had fun, despite the quite mundane scenario. There was cursed energy involved, but what made them actually enjoy the show was the trading of jokes and improvisations they both had to keep up with. It doesn't need some world-shattering CT to entertain Kenjaku, they just previously lacked that connection that would make them appreciate the entertainment they are getting more.

As you said, the positions they take during the show is important here too. They started out with Kenjaku as the straight man and critic and Takaba doing goofy antics as the funny man. Both roles that don't really suit either of them, which is also part of why Takaba never managed to be funny in the past. During the show Takaba is finally able to make his true personality shine and have people understand and like him, despite how he can come off as quite serious. Kenjaku on the other hand was able to be as silly as they want to be. They kept that part of their personality down previously because it would only distract them from their goal and fulfilling their carefully curated plan. We see the evidence at the end of the chapter. As soon as Kenjaku gives into that part of their personality and gets lost in their performance with Takaba, they get taken out and their merger plan is compromised. By indulging in what they actually want, they lost control over their proclaimed long-standing goals (probably, we will see how things develop).

I've seen Kenjaku's "you were super funny" compared to Sukuna's "stand proud", but that doesn't quite work, I think. Sukuna is comparing Jogo to himself and complementing him for how much he managed to measure up, while Kenjaku is commenting on how they enjoyed their fight together or more specifically the comedy show. They reassured Takaba that he is funny, but they don't view it as him having measured up to some standard they set. That is primarily because they could only achieve that goal together. Their comedy relied on a partner and they both only had fun because they had each other. Alone it would be meaningless. The entire point of their stand-up show was that the "fight" wasn't a competition anymore.

Takaba and Kenjaku were able to become partners and form a connection because they were actually able to open up to each other and take the other's personality and character into consideration. That's what differentiates them from the previous three fights and is also why they were successful where Yorozu, Gojo and Kashimo failed.

Kenjaku is open to change and new experiences and after some convincing embraces the connection they are being offered, while Sukuna stays almost completely closed off to others (with the exception of Uraume it seems).

It really was a great fight and it's very unfortunate that it is over and ended the way it did. We'll see how things develop. I would be really interested in seeing if and how Kenjaku's connection to Takaba might influence them in the future and how they will approach their merger plan. Currently it seems like Yuuta kind of ruined all the progress in terms of character development they made thanks to Takaba, but who knows...

If you're interested, I did write a fanfic about the two, where I also vented my feelings about their relationship a bit :)

[life-rewritten]

True Beauty- Prince Charming, The Knight and the Ugly Duckling

Okay, let's get into it. First, I think the discourse has begun even more fiercely with the love triangle. I can see so many people complaining and crying about the treatment of Seo Jun in the show. Now I just want to say first of all that I haven't read the webtoon, it must be very upsetting to see a favourite of yours be so different and changed in an adaptation and all his good moments are given to the other guy just to make him a better lead. I get that frustration, but what can I do but analyse what the show is showing. Right now, the discourse about how toxic and creepy Suho is isn't making sense to me. I do think he is getting more hate than needed; it's fine if you're upset and hurt by how they have twisted the characters but don't come in and put all the blame on one character who isn't doing anything horrifying as everyone keeps on making it out to be. Nevertheless, I'm here to analyse the love triangle in these two episodes. I'm here to discuss more about the psychological basis of the characters, their masks, and how they show love and deal with these emotions. So without further or do let's get into this analysis, shall we?

Feelings and Emotions

First of all, episode 7 and 8 was very focused on the love square building. It makes sense because all our characters are going through feelings and emotions for people who show up and be some kind of happiness and safe space to them. This is not just Ju Kyung, Suho, Seojun but also we have an addition to Soo Jin who questions her feelings and emotions as well. In my opinion, this love square can go either way; both couples in the square all have different ways they impact or change each other. Both Seojun and Suho are great matches for Ju Kyung especially, but we also have to look at it more in-depth. Why is it that at the end of these two episodes, it was always going to be Ju Kyung and Suho who ended up together, for now, no matter what? It doesn't mean SeoJun is out of the game, in fact, I think he's more closer to having a chance with her in terms of storytelling, and how it bodes for Soojin is quite foreshadowing to be negative and worrying. So let's look deeper into the love square situation and break down what is going on so far. Who are the end game couples, who's meant to be, and who's provided more evidence they should stay together. Answer no one.

Let's get to it. First of all, as much as some people want to avoid the truth about this. Suho is Kyung's, Prince Charming. She even has a fantasy about him being exactly just this to her. I mean it makes sense; everything he's done and been to her so far has been exactly what a typical fairy tale prince charming does to a girl. Let's look at all he did in episode 7 and 8 first.

Protection and Care

We start off with episode 7, seeing just how protective Suho gets. Now don't get me wrong, it could be seen as possessive and invasive but as someone who has watched Kyung and her past instances with men, Suho is actually a great person to her. Not only does he protect her at the karaoke place along with Seojun and others, not only is her safety his number one priority (as he always shows in the show) but he also ensures that her self-esteem, her emotions, and her respect are taken into consideration. He goes so far to lose sleep (he doesn't have to do this it's just what he does for her) just to make sure that she is apologised to by the bullies who frightened her. He knows she's probably still shaken up about it, probably still thinking and fearful about them showing up again and that she has had an extensive experience and trauma with bullies before. So for her to see the bully show up and offer her a peace of mind that he's not coming for her again is so great to see. Now Seojun doesn't have to do this, but when the bullying happened because of her connection to him, he kind of pushed it off and moved forward like it didn't matter. But to Kyung, it probably still mattered because it was a moment she was scared about and Suho couldn't sleep right if she didn't feel safe. That's goals, in my opinion of what a boyfriend is. It's sweet that even in the car he saw that she was shaken up after the events, he showed her warmth and care just by holding onto her hands, he may be cold sometimes and tsundere but that's only because he's been forced to become that way because of his family life and environment. Which brings me to...

Power and Reputation

Like a Prince, Suho has a lot of power and reputation. It's how he protects Kyung he uses his powers, his talents, his abilities to ensure the bully apologises and shows her respect. He wants to make sure she knows she deserves to be treated right because she hasn't let herself feel like she's worthy of respect for most of her life. After all,  people made her feel like her looks made her lower than that. I've mentioned in my previous analysis that Suho's reputation and power is both a gift and a curse. It's the mask he had to use to push people away when he thought he caused people to get hurt by being near him.

Again the teachers treat him differently because of the power he holds, due to his family background, this might be seen as a positive but it's actually a burden to him; there's a lot he had to go through because of this reputation, there's a lot of pressure for him to be this great person for people; like Seoyeon for example who Seojun blames him for not using his power and reputation to save his life, not just that he's also had his privacy invaded, we see in episode 8 when he and Kyung have the boat ride that he's been also traumatised by paparazzi when he was younger. He's always been seen just for his name and status and not who he really is. But what's great about prince charming here is that he uses this power and reputation each time to save Ju Kyung and show her the same devotion and respect that other people show him. 

The Disguise

Now the issue with episode 7 when it comes to both Suho and SeoJun is that they do this in disguise. They care for her all the time in secret, and as much as both their actions are sweet and caring and important as boyfriend material, it's quite annoying that they don't come to her and show her that they care.

Episode 7 is full of hesitation from Seojun who's coming to terms and realisation with his feelings, and episode 7 is full of misunderstandings with Suho. Suho is still slowly breaking down his walls, and his coldness has been a way to protect himself from people. So it makes sense that as much as he wants to show her, he cares he struggles with knowing how to do so. Both Seojun and Suho don't have relationship experience on how to treat the girl they like. And you see in episode 7 and 8 that Suho struggles to know how to ask her out and by the time he wants to show up and tell her, he cares he gets misunderstood and is pushed back yet again. What I like about both Seojun and Suho is that immediately they know how they feel for Kyung they try to tell her and show her. That's why I think as much as Suho is the one who was more likely to be with her at this moment, Seojun isn't far behind in taking her heart if something goes wrong.

What matters is although he first tried to be Tsundere with her, Suho changed and started to try and find her and show her he cared. He wanted to ask her out, to make her know he liked her, he stopped being cold to her after episode 7 and 8. So people crying about how cold he was to her makes no sense to me. He was cold before because that's who he is, and how he's grown up to be, but once he recognised he wanted her, he didn't do anything toxic or mean to her anymore. Instead, he stood by her side, waiting for an opportunity to show her he cared. He went lengths to protect, and show her warmth, and show her support each time she cried and needed him to. Seo Jun does that too,  which brings me to analysing these two scenes where SeoJun and Suho both are Prince Charming and the Knight in shining armour for Ju Kyung. As I keep repeating, both are reasonable boyfriend goals.

Comfort and Support 

One of my favourite moments this two episodes is both the crying scenes of Jukyung with the respective guy. Suho sees Kyung crying over her mum, throwing away her makeup and he also sees her beating her self up over her grades. What he does again makes me like him even more as her boyfriend, he knows she worked hard, so he makes her know that, he doesn't want her to lose her self esteem again because of what people say to her. Suho is always protecting Kyung's self-esteem; he wants her to value her self as important and useful. She scolds her self because of being dumb and ugly or whatnot and how people perceive her, and he's always on her side, making sure she knows that he doesn't see her like that. He commends her effort, and he likes her for who she is. That's why she falls for him.

Not only is he the one who takes care of her in her most vulnerable moments when she feels broken and worthless being ugly but he's also there to show her support when she feels dumb and stupid. He makes her know that she's not that, and he knows she's okay being her self. It's sweet. This is different with Seo Jun who probably makes her feel comfortable with who she is because they can bicker and be themselves with each other, but he also insults her and joins in the mocking (not meanly) of her grades and her looks. Suho always in her mind shows her unconditional support and care. He gets her ramen, and he even offers to buy her new makeup to make her stop crying. And she doesn't think she deserves him to do so because she can't fathom that he could like her. However, she still has hopes that he could because of all his actions and how much she wants him to despite situations.

Now with Seojun, he has his own moment to show her that care. She cries to him about being upset because Suho doesn't like her. He probably was going to confess to her when he met up with her, but he patiently takes care of her and wipes her tears and let's her go selflessly. It was also sweet. But it doesn't hold the same weight to Kyung the way Suho's actions does to her. Right now, Seojun is on the losing side because he doesn't know who she really is without her mask. Suho does, and he's had opportunities to show her he likes, respects and wants her without it. This is why he was always going to be the one who she gave her heart to.

Friendship and Comfort

But the basis of the love triangle is friendship. Kyung and Suho not only have this need to protect and care and be there for each other, but he also knows what she likes, reads and is obsessed with even when she tries to hide it from others. She doesn't want people to know she reads the comics she does, listens to the music she does, because it doesn't match her mask of beauty and gentleness, but Suho knows all that about her because they both like the same stuff. So it's not just forced romantic feelings out of the blue that these two have had moments for, but they've been building a friendship with each other from the start, the moment he saw her and helped her when she almost jumped off the ledge in her most broken state. He's always been the person who's seen her for who she is, and the most comfortable person to speak to and be with. Now with Seojun, there's also friendship and comfort, like siblings he's also the kind of person that brings out her louder self, and she feels normal with him and comfortable because she doesn't care how he views her. So again, he still has a chance to win her heart because he also is a friend she cherishes and notices.

Soojin and Suho

And it's weird and sad because everything Suho does for Kyung that I've mentioned he also does that for Soojin. He offers her the same friendship and support and comfort and warmth. He's also seen her and known her in her most broken times without her mask. It's sad to know that he probably is one of the happiest places for her to be, amidst all the trauma and abuse she receives in her life, he's probably someone she wants to latch to, to stay happy but she can't have him now because of JuKyung. This is why I feel we're foreboding a bit of a villain back story with her; I hope not because I don't want girl hate, but it does make sense if she does end up feeling she has to do something to ensure Suho doesn't leave her side. Because he's one of the most important sources of comfort to her, he makes her feel good. It's just sad that he didn't see her as that way.

Before I continue with the analysis, I want to bring up a mirror character for the couples in the show; JuKyung's mum and her dad. 

The problem with Kyung's mum

JuKyung's mum is a very frustrating character, and like all the adults in the show, she's lacking and also a negative person. She is callous and mean to people, especially her daughter, who she refuses to open her mind to listen to. She's not a monster, and she does love her daughter as shown when she is talking to her husband about wanting what's best for her and not seeing her as ugly, but her surface interactions with Kyung is a different story. It's ironic because her mum should be her most significant support and person to make her feel worthy since she went through the same thing her daughter went through. She's seen like Kyung as ugly, and people tell her this all the time. She managed to get a handsome husband which is something she holds on to but is insecure about. She keeps trying to control her husband by belittling all he does so that he doesn't feel above her or get distracted by other women.

It's why she's so adamant about kicking him out of her shop when he's selling candles because she noticed how women interact with him. I think the thing with her is that she used her grades to enter university, and that's where she met her husband and found her job, which she is known as the best. She wants Kyung to focus on her studies, not on how people perceive her because she thinks it's the way to secure a better life and way to be seen as worthy by others. Because she also struggled and didn't have belief in her self either. This is why she probably has built up this anger and need to criticise and put people down because they did that to her as they do to Kyung. It's her own mask and her own cover of trying to seem strong and worthy.  Why I'm seeing mirroring with them, and Kyung and Suho are because her husband dotes on her as shown in episode 8, he's just as protective and loving to her, but also he was a singer (we all know Suho is Leo).  The same unconditional, supportive and caring love that her dad shows her mum is the same Suho shows Kyung. I think that's why we saw their interaction in episode 8.

Another couple that brings up the same themes in reverse is Hee Kyung and the teacher. Hee Kyung has decided the teacher is who she wants, she appreciates him and shows him that she sees him as hardworking and necessary despite him feeling worthless because he's in debt. He tries to push her away because of his lack of self-esteem (something I think Kyung will end up doing to Suho, she'll try to hide their relationship because she doesn't feel worthy being his girlfriend etc.) but Hee Kyung proceeds to keep on showing him (same steps that Suho was told to do to show Kyung how he feels) that she's there for him and loves him for who he is.

Prince Charming and The Ugly Duckling

That's why episode 8 is focused on the ugly duckling. People probably brushed it off, but clues were pointing to it. Kyung calls her self the ugly duckling, and there's an ugly vengeful ghost who wasn't loved because of her looks by her husband that is out to find a new face to cover up her ugliness. It's not the fairytale of the ugly duckling that matters, but just the mental anguish in the tale the ugly duckling suffered from because of being seen as different and ugly. It's the same fears and pain that Kyung goes through this episode. She regresses from believing that Suho could possibly view her as a love interest because of Soo Jin being in his life. Soo-Jin is the pretty one, is the worthy one because she's just as smart, rich and good looking as Suho. She ends up going through the same anguish that both the ghost, ugly duckling go through feeling disappointed, hurt, frustrated with the people around them because of how they view themselves. Both the ghost who ends her life because she's felt rejected and brutally treated because of how she was born, and the ugly duckling who gets rejected, hurt, bullied and pushed away almost to his own mental death are symbols of how Kyung views her self, and what she was the most frustrated about when she cried to Suho.

It broke her to realise that she couldn't be with someone like him because she was less than Soo Jin even though he and her had something. It probably was all she thought was the reason she couldn't chase after and let him know how she felt. Plus the idea of losing this new friendship blooming with Soojin and Suho, when she didn't used to have people like them in her life before. Kyung broke down because of the realisation about how unfair she felt life was to her because of how she was born. She was going lengths to cover up who she was the whole trip, and Suho had been there protecting her and caring for her and seeing her for who she is but at the end of the day he was always going to be more in love with Soo Jin because she was the better person.

Which is why again Suho without knowing or meaning to shows up to show Kyung he cares for her, for who she is, and he sees her the opposite of how she's been made to feel about her self. He buys her the swan necklace. And something touched my heart when I saw it. Like it's just like him to do that when focusing on Kyung feeling and telling her self she's the ugly duckling worthless, and below others, actually, Suho sees her as the swan, he knows who she really is, he likes he for who she really is, and he's there to remind her that the ugly duckling wasn't ugly at all but was a different species and was beautiful once he matured. He was always meant to be a swan.

And Suho buying that necklace symbolises his thoughts towards Kyung, what he does for her is just remind her that even without makeup she's still worthy and she's above the rest to him. It's the same things he's done the whole episode 7-8; he fights to show her she's meant to be respected, meant to be loved (when her mum doesn't show her that), meant to be valued and meant to be seen for who she is. That's why he was always going to be the one to end up with her by the end of this episode.

Boyfriend Material

Like I said Seojun's bracelet is sweet because it's all he can give and so it's also good because he's just again being himself and being authentic towards her. For him and Kyung, it's always authenticity, comfort and warmth. But when it comes to Suho it's more than that, he sees her. He makes her love her self, not because he likes her don't get me wrong she doesn't need a guy to make her love her self, but he's the person who shows up as a reminder, the person behind the scenes who's always making her realise that she's just okay being her self. That's why she calls him a fairytale. In the end it's nice to have a prince who's rich (the necklace was expensive), powerful, and protective but Suho is more than just that to Kyung, he's her strength, her support and the one person who makes her feel good about being her self. That's enough for her.  

So as much as Seojun is a great boyfriend material he doesn't have the same impact on JuKyung right now. He doesn't know the real her, even though he is great and caring and warm with her. He is just as sweet and protecting as Suho, but he's just a little bit too late. From the first time, Suho and Kyung met on that rooftop they meant more to each other. It's not just Suho who is Kyung's safe space, warmth, support etc., Kyung does the same thing for him it's vice versa, she makes him break down his walls, be vulnerable, also feel worthy (because remember he hated himself because of Seoyeon's loss). She also makes him feel seen and reminds him; he's also okay as his true self. They both do this for each other. That's why this hate towards Suho for his possessive, creepy, obsessive nature (as people call it), is uncalled for.

Suho has been made to be the cold tsundere lead because he struggles with PTSD. Yes, he needs therapy, but that doesn't mean he doesn't have a good impact on Kyung, he's not toxic to her, he's actually good for her, and he is the only person after everything we've seen her go through this whole show that makes sense to be the one that she loves.  There's still a lot of things they still have to heal from and deal with to get to the end, and perhaps Seojun would find a way to do more for her than Suho has done so far, but for now, Suho and Kyung are written to be each other's person so let's see what happens next.

I really mean it when I say I don't care about this love triangle. I'm only following what the show writer and director is showing, what they are making me see. Could it be different in the webtoon and I'd support Seojun more yes, but webtoon readers; it's clear that the writers have made Suho the person they think is for Kyung, and they've stolen Seojun's moments because of this, is it right? No, of course not. But it doesn't mean the show isn't good or that Suho is a monster or whatnot. It just means you have to decide if the show is worth watching if you can't deal with what they did with it. The amount of hate Suho receives in the tags is just hypocritical in my opinion, when Seojun and Suho do the same thing with Kyung. They're both as possessive and as protective and they both have their flaws. They're both sweet to her, and caring. No one is wrong, or right as the end game. But don't be too irrational when it comes to your bias. That's all I'm saying. Anyways apart from the love triangle, True Beauty continues to be a light watch that I love and enjoy, I love the relationships and the psychological conversations that can be derived from the show. I've been through what Kyung has gone through, and I've gone through moments of seeing my self as worthless and meaningless because of how society views me or has made me think about my self. That's why I appreciate her relationship with Suho and Seojun. I really relate to her dramatics and her break downs, and I like this show for being not just light at times but also serious when it talks about what the characters are dealing with psychologically. Anway that's my analysis. Let's see what next episode brings.  

[becomewings]

The Most Beautiful Moment in Life <I’M FINE>

   BTS Universe Story Highlights, pt. 3 / 4

« pt. 2  |  » pt. 4

Introduction

The following sections for JiMin’s and HoSeok’s arcs are 4.5k and 4k, respectively. As with pt.2 of the series, I have included “tl;dr commentary” at the bottom of the post after a section of additional thoughts. This commentary summarizes the parenthetical asides I made throughout the summaries and may be of interest as standalone reading to those who have already played the game yet would like to review its connections to the BU texts and MVs.

Content warning: contains references to death, suicide, suicidal ideation, child abuse, domestic violence, blood, homicide, depression, trauma, PTSD

This guide contains major spoilers and includes references to other BU media

Do not repost, copy, or quote without permission

Stopped Time

SeokJin’s primary goal in JiMin’s story is to free him from the hospital psychiatric ward to which his parents have him committed before he gives up on life. Much like his sudden, unexplained absence in The Notes 1, JiMin is not even present in the first two episodes except for an introductory cutscene. In a hospital hallway on an unspecified date, he plays on the colored tiles and stops when he reaches “the line” by the exit door. (This line marks the end of the psychiatric ward and is first described in his 11 May Year 22 entry in The Notes 1.) Everything goes black except for JiMin and the door. A nurse taps him on the shoulder, bringing him back to reality, and hands him pills.

The playable story begins on 22 April Year 22 with SeokJin attending a meeting organized by the patrons of the Songho Foundation. Seo HyunJung, the city’s Deputy Mayor, suggested it to SeokJin’s father, Kim ChangJun, at the inauguration ceremony. (SeokJin attends the inauguration ceremony on 11 April in many loops; it plays out in episode 2 of JungKook’s arc.) SeokJin scans over the crowd, reflecting that while the pretext of the meeting is to discuss community development, in reality it is a social gathering to advance individual careers. These sessions make him uncomfortable, but this time he is attending of his own accord with the intention of meeting someone.

This someone is a woman who actually approaches him first, introducing herself as Sim SeonMi. SeokJin knows that she is JiMin’s mother. He has met her in previous loops but needs to pretend that this is their first time meeting. His goal is to bring up JiMin naturally and persuade her to discharge him from the hospital. Before he can broach the subject, the high school principal, Jo JinMyung, joins them. SeokJin uses his arrival as an opportunity to bring up school and guide the conversation toward JiMin by first asking if they know each other. “We’ve met a few times at gatherings. I was told her child used to be a student at our school,” answers Jo JinMyung. “Ah, really? I attended Jeil High too,” says SeokJin. Sim SeonMi looks taken aback, and he asks for her child’s name. She tries to avoid the question by saying that they probably won’t know each other due to their age gap, but when pressed again she relents. “His name is Park JiMin.” “I know JiMin! We were close. Is JiMin doing okay?” SeokJin responds brightly, wondering if she will provide an empty lie. Instead, she excuses herself with the claim that she needs to greet someone else.

SeokJin quickly wraps up with the principal and begins to casually approach her again. He stops when he overhears two women mention her name. “There’s no gathering she doesn’t attend these days. Looks like her husband’s star is on the rise, thanks to her efforts…” The player has the choice to listen quietly or butt in. If SeokJin stands by, they speculate that she was invited because her husband’s company is one of the patrons. If he interrupts, they caution him to stay away from her. In both routes, SeokJin learns that Sim SeonMi doesn’t have the best reputation and that rumors of her hospitalized son are spreading. Their blame on her helps explain what underlay her hysteric responses in previous loops.

Though it’s uncomfortable, SeokJin reapproaches her when she is alone. She greets him a little coldly. “You don’t have to be so formal to me. I’m JiMin’s friend,” he assures. “Is that so? How friendly you are.” Sim SeonMi smiles awkwardly and keeps looking elsewhere as though for an escape. “It would’ve been nice if JiMin’s father was here… He’ll join me another time, so you can say hello to him then.” “Yes. I’ll make sure to bring my father along then,” SeokJin replies, hoping to snag her attention. Her eyes change at the mention of his father. “Shall we do that, then? It’ll be even better with the Assemblyman.” SeokJin brings up JiMin again by either asking if he still attends Jeil High or how he’s doing. Her uneasy answers are “These days? Yes… Of course” or “...He’s fine,” respectively. SeokJin requests JiMin’s phone number, rendering her silent for a long moment. “That’s a bit difficult. I’m not sure I can give out JiMin’s contact information without his approval.” SeokJin attempts to convince her by stating that they were close friends in school yet lost contact when he studied abroad. But all he gets from her is, “Then I’ll ask JiMin, and make sure to contact you if he says it’s okay.” Sim SeonMi taps him on the shoulder and quickly walks away.

By 25 April, SeokJin still hasn’t heard from JiMin’s mother, so he decides to visit her and reveal that he knows JiMin was admitted to an inpatient psychiatric ward. Uncle JunHo, his father’s secretary, intercepts him before he leaves the house and asks where he’s going. SeokJin either answers that he is heading to school or meeting a friend to work on assignments. He declines a ride from JunHo in the first path but can’t conjure an excuse to not accept in the second. In both, JunHo comments that it’s not easy being the family of a public official and that he noticed SeokJin engaged in a long conversation with Sim SeonMi at the meeting. SeokJin explains that she is his friend’s mother, and JunHo advises him not to get too friendly with her because she doesn’t have a great reputation. In the second path, he also adds information about JiMin’s father that catches SeokJin’s attention because he has not heard anything about the man. Apparently Park JinWook is one of the foundation’s board members. ‘He’s pretty remarkable. He entered as a researcher and became a board member… The one thing that people like him want most is connections,” JunHo muses. He cautions SeokJin to “be wary of any advances [he] can see the intent of.”

The scene cuts to the exterior of an apartment building after SeokJin has either driven himself or been dropped off nearby by JunHo. He considers the public assessment of JiMin’s mother: she works hard to elevate her husband’s status but ignores her own son in favor of the family’s reputation. Sim SeonMi happens to step outside before SeokJin enters the building. She looks wary when he says, “I haven’t heard from you, so I decided to come see you myself.” In an effort to persuade her, SeokJin begins with either “I want to see JiMin” or “I came to see you because I know everything.” In the first path, she lies about not getting in touch with JiMin yet because he is studying abroad in the U.S. SeokJin is stunned by this egregious falsehood. “From what I’ve heard… JiMin’s locked up in a hospital. He’s at the Gyeong Il Hospital, isn’t he?” A similar reaction occurs in the second path from the point of SeokJin mentioning the hospital. Sim SeonMi hardens and objects to the phrase “locked up,” stating that JiMin is an inpatient because he is sick. “SeokJin, I appreciate that you’re worried about JiMin… But I’m his mother, and that means I know what’s best for him.” The paths converge as she tries to leave, claiming they have nothing left to discuss. Persuading her to release JiMin from the hospital seems impossible. “I’ll look into it on my own. I’m going to see JiMin, no matter how hard you try to stop me,” SeokJin warns. Sim SeonMi glares at him, voice low and cold. “‘SeokJin. If I can give you a word of advice… Adults have reasons for everything they do. You should forget about this.”

The beginning of episode 3 visits JiMin’s perspective on 27 April. He has relocated temporarily to the surgical ward due to an injured wrist. After treatment, he returns to his hospital room to find his mother arranging some items she brought. JiMin approaches nervously, wondering if she thinks he has caused a problem again. “It doesn’t look too bad, thankfully,” she remarks, glancing at his wrist. Her concern is unfamiliar yet welcome. “Do you know a Kim SeokJin? He said he attended Jeil High.” The mention of SeokJin surprises JiMin, but he tries to answer passively because of her angry tone. “Yes, but why are you suddenly ask—” “Did you contact him?” Sim SeonMi interrupts, halting her organizing to stare at him. “Why are you so immature? Do you ever think of anyone outside of here?” Injury throbbing, JiMin doesn’t know how to respond. “If you want to leave, tell me why you’re doing this. Tell me instead of embarrassing me by contacting some random person! Is that why you hurt your wrist? To rebel?” she demands. JiMin tries to explain this isn’t true, but she doesn’t listen. “I’m really tired, too. How many years has it been? How long do I have to suffer because of you?” Sim SeonMi leaves, the rant having done little to expend her anger. JiMin knows that her worries are pointed at herself, not at him; he is someone who makes life harder for her. He decides not to talk about anything else because he doesn’t want to make things even more difficult for her.

The story cuts to SeokJin loitering outside Gyeong Il Hospital, mulling over what action to take since JiMin is moving out of the surgical ward that day. (The date is unspecified in the game, but in The Notes 1, he is scheduled to return to the psychiatric ward on 16 May.) SeokJin knows that he will be the first suspect if JiMin disappears now and that he must act carefully since he was unable to persuade JiMin’s mother. As the day grows dark, he spots Sim SeonMi rushing into the hospital on her second visit. SeokJin hurries after her, worried that something happened to JiMin. The panicked voices of a medical team emerge from JiMin’s room. Doctors crowd around someone laying on the bed. “No, JiMin!” SeokJin hears Sim SeonMi scream followed by the sound of shattering glass.

The loop resets, and the game rejoins SeokJin on 10 May standing at a road and reflecting on the last failure. “If JiMin isn’t saved while he’s in the surgical ward, he makes his choice days after he returns to the closed ward. But it happened too quickly this time. What pushed him?” he wonders. He recalls Sim SeonMi’s final words before the loop ended. “No, JiMin! I’m sorry. I was wrong! You can see your friends; you can do anything you want… So please, open your eyes!” SeokJin realizes that he may have caused Sim SeonMi to act out of the ordinary, which in turn affected JiMin’s choice. It’s his fault, and he made JiMin suffer more. He thinks, “Even though I’ve experienced losing my friends before… No matter how many times it repeats… It never gets any easier.” SeokJin decides to abandon persuading JiMin’s mother to avoid provoking her and reverts his plan to sneaking JiMin out like in earlier loops. But first, he must focus on a more pressing issue—rescuing HoSeok after he collapses on the bridge that day.

After a cut, HoSeok awakens in SeokJin’s car and is shocked to see him. “Wow, is it really you? How long has it been?” “Lean on me for a bit longer. You didn’t hurt yourself when you fell?” SeokJin checks. HoSeok assures him that he’s all right and asks how SeokJin saw him. When SeokJin says he was just passing by, HoSeok remarks, “Wow! That’s so weird. Thanks for saving me.” It’s the first time SeokJin has heard something like this. He remembers JiMin in a previous loop telling him, “This is where I should be.” Does JiMin really want to leave the hospital? SeokJin believed that he did, but now he’s less confident. “HoSeok. If you had someone in front of you who wanted to die because living was too difficult… What would you do?” he asks. HoSeok answers without hesitation, “Well, I would help them.” “Even if that person doesn’t want my help?” says SeokJin. “ Isn’t helping them the right thing to do? Even if you don’t know why they want to die… They need to keep living for something to change,” HoSeok muses.

SeokJin drops HoSeok off at Two Star Burger before returning to the hospital alone, his friend’s words sticking with him. Even though JiMin isn’t guaranteed to be happy when he leaves the hospital, he needs to stay alive to have even the opportunity for happiness. Still uncertain how to proceed, SeokJin heads to the hospital lounge to organize his thoughts before visiting JiMin. Through an open door, he spots JiMin trudging down a hallway. SeokJin either calls out to him or watches him, but the latter is the result regardless because JiMin doesn’t hear him in the first path. JiMin stares at the door as people come and go and eventually returns to his room.

On 7 May, JiMin roams the hallways of the 5th floor surgical ward. He was moved there about ten days earlier after he ran into someone and fell. The surgical ward is not too different from the psychiatric one: the hallway is a little longer, and it has a lounge in the middle. But the freedom to move around in this space brings him joy that he doesn’t have in the psychiatric ward. He even wanders around at night when no one is around and dances in the lounge. Despite this newfound freedom, his body stops at the same point in the hallway—where the psychiatric ward ends four floors above him. After reaching his line again, JiMin returns to his room. He assumes a student occupied the bed before him because he finds a forgotten workbook in the nearby drawers. Remembering that he used this workbook in school, he flips through and reads the notes scribbled in the margins. “I want to go to a PC cafe, too…” he murmurs, spotting the note “wanna go to the PC cafe later?” JiMin finds a haphazardly folded paper tucked into the pages and unfolds it curiously. “Career… plan?”

The story cuts to 10 May with SeokJin, from a hidden vantage point, watching JiMin sit in the hospital lounge and read a book. It reminds him of their days in the classroom hideout. “He seems okay right now.” SeokJin receives a call from Uncle JunHo about the scheduling of a Songho Foundation seminar. During their conversation, a loudspeaker announcement summons JiMin to the 2nd floor physical therapy room. He drops the book and runs out of the lounge. Once finished with the call, SeokJin tries to find the book JiMin was reading. He doesn’t see it among those scattered around the lounge and thinks that JiMin must’ve had a reason to hide it. Hoping it will provide him a clue to understanding his friend, SeokJin hunts around either the window or trash can with no luck before turning to the vending machine. After scooting a bookcase out of the way, he is finally able to rescue the item. SeokJin deduces that the workbook doesn’t belong to JiMin because it’s Year 2 material and JiMin was admitted to the hospital in his first year. He finds the detached sheet with two different types of handwriting and determines which belongs to JiMin. The game provides a quick flashback shot of JiMin filling out the paper. “Aspiring Career Path: Will I be able to go to university too? Scholastic Activities: What should I learn in Year 2… Extracurricular Activities: Join the dance club HoSeok started.” SeokJin wonders what JiMin felt as he wrote in the answers. He considers how JiMin people-watched from the hallway and looked happy reading the workbook. “You want to leave, don’t you?” SeokJin thinks. “Let’s get out of here. So you can be the one to decide what kind of life you want to live.” He resolves to break JiMin free.

On 11 May, JiMin stops at the invisible line in the hallway again. He stares at the door before turning around and bumping into someone. He is shocked speechless when he realizes that it’s SeokJin. The next episode continues from this moment but switches to SeokJin’s perspective. He calms JiMin down before bringing him to the lounge, giving the excuse that he was in the hospital to visit someone else. JiMin’s cheeks are hollowed, his hands skinnier than normal. SeokJin wonders if he can inspire JiMin to act if he tells him that he’ll be able to do all of the things he wrote on the career plan once he leaves the hospital. He either asks, “JiMin, are you injured?” or “How long have you been in the hospital?” In both paths, JiMin refers to his wrist injury and the time he’s been in the surgical ward rather than the psychiatric one. He looks grim when he can’t give a proper answer to either “When do you get discharged?” or “Are you sick?” “I think I have to go now. It’s almost time for treatment, too…” JiMin stands to leave, avoiding his gaze. SeokJin rushes after him and blocks his path, knowing this might be their last chance to speak if they say goodbye already. “JiMin, I’m here because I know everything. You want to leave this place, don’t you? You’ve been here for two years.” JiMin steps back but doesn’t run away. “I just happened to hear… how your mother locked you in the psychiatric ward,” SeokJin explains. JiMin shakes his head with a frightened expression. “No. I’m here because I’m sick.” His eyes falter when SeokJin presses, “JiMin, I can help you. Let’s get out of here together.”

Short flashbacks play from JiMin’s perspective alongside his thoughts: “At first, I wanted to leave. I called my mom and cried until my voice went hoarse, asking her to take me home. That I didn’t want to stay here. But she didn’t listen. Because this is where I should be…” Aloud, JiMin speaks in a voice that sounds like he has given up on everything. “Even if I leave, I’ll eventually come back.” SeokJin shakes his head. “What’s important is how you feel. JiMin, you really want to stay here? That’s okay with you?” Depending on the players’ choice, he either continues, “Do you really not have anything you want to do?” or “‘You really want to stay here in the hospital?” In the first path, SeokJin tries to remind him of something he must want to do like studying or dancing. “I don’t… have anything like that,” JiMin lies. In the second path, JiMin says it’s better for him in the hospital because outside people treat him like a freak. SeokJin remembers the women whispering about Sim SeonMi and her hospitalized son at the Songho Foundation meeting. In both paths, JiMin is pale and shaky. SeokJin decides to ask one more time. “You don’t want to go outside and see your friends?” JiMin seems to perk up at the mention of “friends,” but he does not respond or lift his gaze. SeokJin’s parting words are, “Think about it, JiMin… I’ll come back to visit again.”

The next day (12 May), SeokJin reflects on his failure to persuade both JiMin and his mother. “What can I do to help JiMin get over his fear and gain courage?” he wonders. The career plan comes to mind again with JiMin’s notes of college, studying, and dancing—the things he wants to do outside of the hospital. This prompts SeokJin to remember a day in the classroom hideout when he filmed HoSeok dancing. On the sidelines, TaeHyung complimented HoSeok’s moves and asked if JiMin could dance like that. Gaze full of envy and longing, JiMin answered, “No. How could I do that?” “HoSeok! JiMin says he wants to try!” TaeHyung called. Flustered, JiMin tried to stop him, but HoSeok looked over. “Do you want to try?” JiMin insisted that he couldn’t, but TaeHyung pushed him forward and HoSeok gladly demonstrated the routine. JiMin hesitated at first to attempt it alone but began to move at their encouragement. In the present, SeokJin believes that he has found an answer in this memory. “TaeHyung, who pushed him forward… and HoSeok, who believed that he could do it. Maybe one of those two will help JiMin muster up the courage.”

SeokJin picks TaeHyung to help him persuade JiMin, considering that he was the first person to notice how JiMin was feeling when they watched HoSeok dance and helped JiMin take action when he hesitated. (We know from The Notes 1 that SeokJin’s later, successful choice ends up being HoSeok instead.) On 13 May, SeokJin visits TaeHyung’s convenience store to explain JiMin’s situation, and TaeHyung immediately agrees to help. Late that night and with little planned, they sneak into JiMin’s hospital room. Sensing their presence, JiMin turns on the light and is especially surprised to see TaeHyung. “We’re here to get you out of here, JiMin,” he says. “Did you think about it?” SeokJin asks. When JiMin hesitates, TaeHyung presses him to answer honestly. “Park JiMin, do you like being here? Staying here is awful! Let’s leave. You can think when we’re outside.” TaeHyung forces JiMin to his feet even as he hesitates and protests about the impending night rounds, although he does not push TaeHyung’s hand away. SeokJin knows this is hasty but decides to trust TaeHyung. Out in the hallway, he reflects that if even he spoke the same words, JiMin would not agree. SeokJin has encountered moments like this before where his friends solve problems that he cannot fix alone. “TaeHyung seems to be JiMin’s answer, just like YoonGi needed JungKook,” SeokJin thinks. (JungKook saving YoonGi is not a solution that played out in YoonGi’s story, but this is a familiar theme from Notes 1 and forward.)

The elevator arrives as they turn the corner, its doors opening to reveal Sim SeonMi. SeokJin warns, “Hide. It’s JiMin’s mom.” She walks past without noticing them. SeokJin quickly presses the elevator button, but it has already left. “JiMin, quick!” TaeHyung calls. “TaeHyung, I just…” “You can’t look back,” TaeHyung says firmly. He and SeokJin pull JiMin towards the stairwell, but JiMin stops walking. “What’s wrong?” asks TaeHyung. JiMin’s expression is on the verge of crying yet also angry. “I can’t,” he whispers. “Park JiMin, we don’t have time for this—” TaeHyung is interrupted by Sim SeonMi’s distant voice. “Where’d he go? The bathroom?” SeokJin tugs JiMin’s arm, but he looks afraid again. “SeokJin, I… I can’t do this. I don’t think I can.” SeokJin either soothes JiMin himself or has TaeHyung talk to him. In the first path, he takes JiMin’s trembling hand. “It’s safe for me here.” JiMin shakes his head. “No, JiMin. Something bad will happen if you stay here,” SeokJin cautions. “No, I have to stay here. That’s what’s right. I want to stay here,” JiMin insists. In the second path, SeokJin shoots TaeHyung a look, and TaeHyung in turn scans over JiMin. The tapping sound of shoes rings through the silent hallway. TaeHyung begins, “JiMin, if you stop here…” The paths rejoin when Sim SeonMi spots them and calls to JiMin, face livid as she approaches. “Oh… Mom.” The color drains from JiMin’s face. “Please… Please! Can’t you just stay put?” she demands sharply.

TaeHyung attempts to intervene, introducing himself as JiMin’s friend. Sim SeonMi does not look at him even when he explains that JiMin didn’t expect their visit and they were just taking him outside so as not to disturb the sleeping patients. SeokJin chimes in too, hoping their flimsy excuse will work, but Sim SeonMi orders JiMin back to his room. Looking defeated, JiMin trudges out of sight. Sim SeonMi finally turns her gaze on SeokJin, regarding him with the same expression as she utters the same words from the last loop. “I didn't know you were JiMin’s friend.” She warns them not to visit him again like this because he is very sick and it will interfere with his treatment. Before coldly turning to leave, she touches TaeHyung’s shoulder for a moment. (This same gesture was given to HoSeok in the hospital after JiMin’s seizure at the bus stop on 15 September Year 20 in Notes 1.) Her presence is like a wall separating them from JiMin. (SeokJin’s observation echoes HoSeok’s feeling that she was drawing an uncrossable line between them that September.) TaeHyung yells after her, “What’s wrong with him?! You can’t even spare the time to talk to us?!” SeokJin cautions him to stop. “Let me go! JiMin! Park JiMin!” TaeHyung’s voice rings loudly in the hallway, but no one answers. As they leave the hospital, he asks, “Do you think JiMin will be okay?” SeokJin cannot respond because he knows the truth: when JiMin returns to the psychiatric ward, he always makes the same awful choice.

The story cuts to JiMin sitting on his hospital bed and staring at his feet, unable to face his mother. He regrets following SeokJin and TaeHyung. “It was a lie, wasn’t it?” Sim SeonMi asks. “What those kids said earlier. Did you think I wouldn’t notice?” JiMin apologizes, throat catching. “What were you going to do? What could you possibly do outside of this place?” she demands. JiMin remembers all the things he thought about alone in the lounge: going to school, making friends, and learning dance from HoSeok again. “I want to live a regular life. It’s nothing that special. Why is it that I’m not allowed to dream?” he thinks. “JiMin, let’s focus on getting better first. When you’re all better… I’ll let you do whatever you want once you’re discharged. But you know that now isn’t the time. Let’s do it when you’re back to normal,” Sim SeonMi advises with a power in her voice that he can’t fight. Questions pile up in his head: what is getting better, and what is normal? But he holds it in and nods, not wanting to make things any more difficult for her. “Okay, Mom. I will…” As he speaks, it dawns on him that he’ll never get to leave the hospital.

JiMin moves back to the psychiatric ward after SeokJin and TaeHyung’s visit. The place is still the same: a man mutters that he’s not crazy; a child stays glued to the window, waiting for their mom. “And then there’s me, unable to progress because I’m locked in the past. If nothing changes even as time flows, how is it any different than time standing still?” On 19 May, JiMin stands in the bathroom with the water running. He sees and hears the falling drops as rain and smells a sharp stickiness. Reflected in the water in the sink, he sees a vision of himself on “that day.” (This is referring to 6 April Year 11 and the events of the arboretum, first introduced in that dated entry in The Notes 1 and revealed in full on 12 August Year 22 of The Notes 2.) “...I hate it.” JiMin covers his eyes. “I want to forget everything. I want to rest.” The glass shatters, concluding his arc.

Someone Left Behind

HoSeok’s story opens on 11 May Year 22 with SeokJin providing some chronological context. So far, he has not made it to June once in the loops because HoSeok collapses from his narcolepsy and JiMin is still trapped in the hospital. SeokJin can encounter JiMin naturally if he admits HoSeok to the hospital after his collapse on 10 May, but HoSeok has an accident in the hospital stairwell and falls into despair over his leg injury. (10 May is the date HoSeok collapses and wakes up in the hospital in The Notes 1, and this is likely the moment referenced by his bridge scene in the I Need U MV.) Even if SeokJin prevents that accident or helps HoSeok avoid admittance to the hospital entirely, his narcolepsy grows worse over time after 10 May. SeokJin determines that he needs to control HoSeok’s narcolepsy in order to save him, and he heads to Two Star Burger where HoSeok works to begin earnestly investigating.

A cutscene plays out at the restaurant: HoSeok, wearing a manager’s tag, watches two friends eating at a table while someone places their order with him. His expression is distant and briefly sad until he catches himself and smiles brightly at the customer. When the door chimes, he greets the new visitor and realizes it’s SeokJin. This is apparently their first time meeting in this loop because HoSeok heard from the other guys that Seokjin returned. SeokJin asks how he’s doing, and HoSeok replies, “Me? Same as usual.” SeokJin knows that “same as usual” means HoSeok’s life has a set, monotonous routine: working his part-time job, going to dance practice, and occasionally visiting the children’s home. Sometimes, he also comes to the bridge over the river and watches the scenery. The scene transitions to this location later at night as SeokJin narrates this. He stands at a distance so HoSeok doesn’t see him. HoSeok’s out-of-character, melancholy expression worries SeokJin. He hasn’t observed any changes to his friend’s daily routine, and HoSeok hasn’t collapsed recently—so why does he keep collapsing on 10 May?

The narrative cuts to 3 May. (I double-checked the dates and can only assume that this is a new loop, although a reset is not specifically mentioned—or else the opening date was a typo.) SeokJin mulls the situation over alone for a while but ends up going to NamJoon out of frustration. NamJoon and HoSeok share similarities, and they’re both responsible for other people. Believing that NamJoon knows HoSeok best, SeokJin visits his container. NamJoon greets him warmly. JungKook is already there, killing time after school. SeokJin mentions that he saw HoSeok a few days earlier at Two Star Burger but couldn’t really talk to him because he was busy. NamJoon suggests inviting him to join them after work and bring some hamburgers too since JungKook is hungry. SeokJin either calls HoSeok himself or lets JungKook call. In the first path, HoSeok says he’ll come as soon as SeokJin mentions that a few of them are together. In the second path, while JungKook is on the phone, SeokJin asks NamJoon how HoSeok is and learns that he practices dance at the cultural center every day. SeokJin wonders if HoSeok is pushing himself too hard. The paths rejoin: before HoSeok arrives, SeokJin inquires about his narcolepsy too. NamJoon doesn’t know much except that he’s still taking medication for it and seems to be doing okay. It seems that no one dares to bring it up since HoSeok doesn’t speak about it openly. The conversation trails off while they wait, although it’s not awkward—it reminds SeokJin of old times together.

HoSeok arrives with a cheerful greeting, wafting in the smell of fresh hamburgers. “These hamburgers were hand-made by the employee of the month!” He rustles through the bags and produces a kid’s meal boxed toy, giving it to JungKook. “Here’s your Children’s Day gift!” JungKook pouts that he’s not a kid but seems pleased to receive a gift even though it’s a couple days early. HoSeok explains that he has to be at the children’s home on 5 May. NamJoon asks if they’re hosting an event that day. “It’s not really an event… I’m going to see the families,” says HoSeok. He plans to bring hamburgers and play with the kids rather than bring gifts. SeokJin is surprised to hear that almost twenty children, ranging from young kids to high schoolers, live at the home. “‘That’s more than I expected. It must be fun when everyone plays together.” HoSeok invites him to come along to take photos of everyone, and SeokJin agrees with a high-five. NamJoon declines because he’s too busy, and JungKook hesitates. HoSeok assures him not to feel pressured, causing SeokJin to reflect on how he has always been the “mood-maker” whose cheerful personality eases awkward situations and defuses disagreements. While lost in thought, he notices HoSeok taking out his medication. “How are you these days? Do you feel better?” NamJoon checks. “Hmm. I don’t have any symptoms, but I shouldn’t be skipping these.” A grim expression flashes across HoSeok’s face. SeokJin thinks, “It doesn’t mean he’s alright just because he smiles in front of people.” He guesses that HoSeok must feel scared of his condition, not knowing when he’ll collapse next. It’s not enough for SeokJin to prevent the accidents he can see or to stop HoSeok from getting injured—he must save him from the fear that isn’t visible. SeokJin resolves to find out what makes him collapse. Even if the condition isn’t curable, discovering the cause might help HoSeok get better.

On 5 May, SeokJin meets up with HoSeok at the children’s home, which is located near Yangji Stream. HoSeo looks happy and explains that visiting there is like coming home. They bring their respective gifts of hamburgers and snacks inside, and all the kids rush to HoSeok in excitement. One of the home’s staff greets them. HoSeok introduces her as Kim JungHee. He calls her “auntie” and regards her as someone who has been like a mother to him. As SeokJin helps her set the table with food, he thinks that the children’s home feels like an ordinary family home and HoSeok looks like the dependable older brother among all the kids. After taking all the requested pictures later, SeokJin joins HoSeok to watch the children play outside. “You’re on good terms with the kids,” he observes. “I’ve only been out of the children’s home about three months now, so I know them all,” HoSeok explains. (He moved into his rooftop room on 25 Feb Year 22 according to that date’s Note accompanying the Persona album.) SeokJin either comments, “Auntie seems like a great person. She treated me well and we’ve only just met,” or asks, “How old were you when you first came here?” In both paths, HoSeok speaks with visible adoration for Kim JungHee. In the first path, he mentions that although she’s scary when mad, she never gets angry without a reason. “Auntie JungHee is just… like a mom. She’s mom.” In the second path, HoSeok answers that he was seven when he moved into the children’s home. He describes how Auntie would sing him songs that his mother listened to instead of a lullaby when he had trouble falling asleep, and that was the first time he cried after coming to the home. SeokJin begins, “Then, HoSeok, when you were little…” But a boy’s cries interrupt him before he can ask if HoSeok experienced narcolepsy when he was younger. “What’s wrong, JiHun?” HoSeok asks in concern. The sobbing boy shows him a broken toy rocket. “My mom… gave this to me.” HoSeok is at a loss because it looks impossible to fix. “I’ll bring you a new one next time. Don’t cry, JiHun. Okay?” The boy keeps crying despite HoSeok’s attempts at consolation. Before SeokJin can think of another tactic, HoSeok speaks up, drying JiHun’s tears. “JiHun, do you want to go with me to see a real rocket?”

At HoSeok’s request, SeokJin drives them both to Yeongsan Bridge, one of the bridges that crosses Yangji Stream and that HoSeok frequents. SeokJin is perplexed about what could count as a “real rocket” as they head to HoSeok’s usual spot on the bridge, and JiHun appears suspicious but excited. “Look over there!” HoSeok points to the train departing Songju Station in the distance, picking up speed on the tracks. “Wow!” JiHun exclaims. “What do you think? That rocket looks cool, huh?” asks HoSeok. “Rocket? That’s a train,” says the boy. “Look closely! It’s a rocket.” HoSeok beams. JiHun asks HoSeok why he calls it a rocket. HoSeok explains that the front end of the train is pointy like a rocket and that it takes people somewhere far away. (He also refers to the trains as rockets in his 4 July Year 22 entry from The Notes 2.) SeokJin realizes that from his vantage point on the bridge, HoSeko has been watching the train that leaves Songju. “JiHun, you can wish on the rocket, too!” HoSeok describes how the rocket can carry dreams because the people who ride on it have dreams. JiHun wishes to become famous so his mom can find him. HoSeok falls silent for a moment before resuming his chatty demeanor. Together they wish on the rocket for JiHun to see his mom again. JiHun asks HoSeok what he wishes for so they can wish it on the next rocket. HoSeok whispers in his ear. “Wow, you too?!” JiHun exclaims. HoSeok shushes him, so SeokJin does not learn HoSeok’s answer.

After dropping JiHun off at the children’s home, SeokJin and HoSeok relax at a bar. HoSeok thanks him for his help that day. SeokJin asks if HoSeok visits Yeongsan Bridge frequently to look at the trains. HoSeok smiles bashfully over his drink and explains that he liked visiting it when he lived in the children’s home. “Is that when you came up with the rocket story?” SeokJin asks. HoSeok replies, ‘Yeah. The people getting on the train look so cheerful and happy. It almost makes me want to get on there with them, too.” He stops abruptly and calls out to a customer on his way out. The young man is introduced as DongJin, a friend who also grew up in the children’s home. SeokJin invites him to sit with them, hoping that he knows more about HoSeok, but DongJin declines since he’s with other company. Before departing, he mentions that he will stop by Two Star Burger to see HoSeok soon. After his friend leaves, HoSeok tells SeokJin more about his childhood. SeokJin understands why he considers the people at the children’s home his family.

A little tipsy now, HoSeok brings up another memory. The whole family at the children’s home goes to Yangji Stream on August 30th for the yearly fireworks, but when he was about nine, he had to be admitted to the hospital for a check-up. SeokJin either asks, “Did you miss the fireworks that year?” or “Were you sick?” In the first path, HoSeok describes how he snuck out of his hospital room and up to the rooftop to watch the fireworks. Along the way, he found a little kid crying in the stairwell who was looking for his mom and wanted to leave, and he brought the boy to the roof so they could view the fireworks together. He doesn’t know who the kid was or remember his face. (See the Additional Thoughts section at the end for who I hope this kid really was!) In the second path, HoSeok answers that he was falling asleep without explanation but the doctor said there was nothing particularly abnormal. SeokJin tries to ask a leading question to get him to reveal more, but HoSeok’s expression is grim. The paths rejoin with HoSeok asking SeokJin if he has attended the fireworks festival too. He looks wistful when SeokJin replies that he went with his family when he was younger. HoSeok brings up DongJin again. “He’s a really lucky guy. Even though it was pretty late, he got in touch with his parents and moved out to go live with them.” His eyes reflect bitterness. “DongJin and I… both dreamed of going to the fireworks festival with our parents. I guess he’ll achieve his dream for the first time this year.” SeokJin recalls HoSeok’s rocket story and asks if that’s the dream he told JiHun about earlier. HoSeok dismisses this: his dream now is to become famous for dancing. SeokJin remembers him mentioning this in high school. “Right, you said you wanted to become famous as a dancer so it would help you find your mom… Are you still dancing because of that?” HoSeok says that was why he first started but he grew to really love dance. “You don’t have any plans to go find your mom, then?” SeokJin asks. “Why would I go anywhere? My home, work, and friends are all here.” HoSeok laughs, but it seems like he is just holding on rather than truly feeling happy. “I just… like where I am.”

Episode four begins on 8 May, Parents’ Day, in HoSeok’s perspective. As promised, DongJin visits him at Two Star Burger and asks if he can get a job there because he needs money. HoSeok is taken aback since DongJin supposedly has moved out of Songju to live with his father after reconnecting with his family. “What happened to your self-reliance support fund?” DongJin confesses that he gave it all to his father, who said that he needed it to buy them a house but hasn’t contacted him since receiving the money. “I think my expectations were too high. They abandoned me once. Why wouldn’t they abandon me a second time? I wish I hadn’t met them…” DongJin’s voice wavers. HoSeok assures him that his father must be busy looking for houses. “Don’t worry, I’m sure he’ll contact you soon. I’ll look into a job for you.” DongJin thanks him multiple times before leaving. After work, HoSeok returns to the bridge and leans on the railing. He often does this even when there are no passing trains—watching the flow of the river empties his mind and puts him at ease. But the calm water cannot still his thoughts today. He thinks about the many children at the home who want to be reunited with their parents, including JiHun, DongJin, and himself. HoSeok is honest about his feelings, acknowledging that he envies DongJin for being able to contact a parent, even one who let him down. He closes his eyes and remembers the day his mom abandoned him at the carousel. In the memory, she hands him a chocolate bar and instructs him to count to ten before opening his eyes. The screen goes black after “three,” and at “nine,” the player hears the sound of someone falling. (The carousel memory is also depicted in the Highlight Reel.)

The story cuts to the next day, 9 May, outside Two Star Burger. SeokJin is uneasy knowing that HoSeok collapsed yesterday, two days earlier than he normally does in the loops, and hovers nearby to keep an eye on him. HoSeok announces that he’s heading out for a delivery and heads outside to the delivery scooter. A passing woman reminds her daughter to count before crossing the street. “One, two, three…” HoSeok watches them cross the street and collapses again. “HoSeok!” SeokJin cries. He gets permission from the restaurant manager to take a still-unconscious HoSeok home to his room that overlooks all of Songju City. SeokJin helps HoSeok onto his bed before looking around his room. The player has a choice to look at the items on the desk or a familiar planter on the dresser. In the first path, SeokJin clicks past the screensaver on HoSeok’s laptop and sees that the web browser is open to an audition information video for a famous international dance team. (This may be the same dance team that one of his friends from the children’s home successfully auditions for, referenced in HoSeok’s 4 July Year 22 entry accompanying the Tear album and 7 July Year 22 entry in The Notes 1.) He remembers HoSeok mentioning that he’s happiest when dancing and knows that he still runs Just Dance, the dance club he started in high school. “I’m sure he’d do well if he applies,” SeokJin muses. In the second path, SeokJin recognizes the plant as the one HoSeok tended every day in their classroom hideout. He wonders what HoSeok was thinking when he brought the plant home and how he feels caring for it. The paths rejoin with HoSeok stirring on the bed, mumbling “Mmm… Mom… Don’t go…” SeokJin recalls that HoSeok called for his mother when he fell asleep in high school. “Is the memory of losing his mom related to his narcolepsy?” he thinks. “Are you okay, HoSeok?” SeokJin asks when HoSeok opens his eyes. HoSeok is confused to find himself at home. SeokJin explains that he happened to see him collapse as he was passing by and assures him that he spoke to his manager. “HoSeok, you know how you keep collapsing… The hospital doesn’t know why yet? You don’t have any idea what makes you collapse, either?” he presses. But HoSeok shakes his head. “I don’t know.”

On 10 May, HoSeok receives a call from one of the younger kids from the children’s home while getting ready for work in his apartment. The kid informs him that Auntie JungHee isn’t working at the home anymore because she has been diagnosed with late-stage colon cancer. She is scheduled to have surgery, but the chances of success are low. HoSeok’s mind goes blank, and he hangs up. When he rushes outside, he runs into SeokJin. “I stopped by because I was worried. Are you headed out?” asks SeokJin. Consumed with the thought of getting to Auntie, HoSeok says he needs to visit JungHee and doesn’t have time to ask why SeokJin is there. SeokJin follows, offering him a ride. The player chooses to have HoSeok either get in the car or refuse the ride. In the first path, HoSeok pretends to be calm when explaining the situation to SeokJin, but his voice noticeably trembles. In the second path, he declines because he’s afraid that speaking about it will make it come true, and then he runs to the bus stop.

The story cuts to HoSeok standing on the bridge, unable to remember how he made it to Auntie’s house after saying goodbye to SeokJin. He can only recall the face he saw through one of the open windows of Auntie’s house: JungHee laughing as she chatted with someone. The news of her illness and the low success rate of the surgery seems like a lie. She was the first person he could rely on after HoSeok lost his mom. He can’t shake off the vision of himself standing in front of the carousel “like an idiot.” Head spinning, he thinks, “I just wanted them to stay by my side. Is that too much to ask? What kind of terrible thing have I ever done?” The perspective switches to SeokJin as he watches HoSeok walk precariously across the bridge, looking both shocked and deeply sad. He reflects on his failed attempts to prevent HoSeok from collapsing here. Even if he stays with HoSeok like he did with JungKook or intervenes like he did with YoonGi, HoSeok always runs to JungHee’s home and then collapses on this bridge on his way back. SeokJin is aware that JungHee has cancer (so the first path of the branching choices has happened at least once, or he found out in earlier loops). The extra collapses of this loop weigh on SeokJin’s mind too. Something changed after HoSeok met DongJin, and SeokJin regrets taking him to the bar on 5 May. He looks on as HoSeok inevitably staggers and falls in the same spot.

SeokJin calls 119 and has HoSeok admitted to the hospital. As before, HoSeok is placed in the same hospital room of the surgery ward as JiMin. SeokJin decides not to visit him because he is afraid of running into JiMin and unsure of what will play out if he does. Now that HoSeok is in the hospital, there is no way to avoid the future accident in the stairwell. A few days later, SeokJin scopes out the scene. He mulls over the repeating scenario of HoSeok chasing down the stairs after a woman he mistakes for his mother. SeokJin connects the dots between HoSeok calling for his mother in his sleep and the way he cried in front of his Auntie’s house. “Everything has to do with ‘mom.’ If HoSeok’s narcolepsy is because of ‘mom,’ does that mean this accident is connected to the idea of mom, too?” In other loops in which SeokJin successfully prevented the stairwell accident, HoSeok continued to collapse more frequently until he eventually did so in the street. SeokJin contemplates how his condition apparently worsens after he sees a woman that reminds him of his mother.

The day after HoSeok is admitted to the hospital, 11 May, SeokJin invites NamJoon to meet him at a cart bar after his work shift. NamJoon brings up HoSeok first. Unable to say that he was the one to call for help, SeokJin pretends to be surprised that HoSeok is in the hospital. NamJoon reports that HoSeok had a minor concussion and is staying there for a couple days so the doctors can run additional tests. SeokJin wonders if HoSeok dreamt of his mother again and feels a pang at the image of him haunted by nightmares. He proceeds to tell NamJoon about their visit to the children’s home, meeting DongJin, and learning about the auntie’s illness. Cautiously, SeokJin proposes that HoSeok’s collapsing may be related to his mother. NamJoon mulls it over before agreeing. “I guess it could. Thinking about his auntie might have led him to think about his mom.” “I’m sure he feels like he’s losing his mother a second time,” SeokJin adds. NamJoon asks if he knows HoSeok’s wish to become a famous dancer in order to find his mom, although his dancing grew into a genuine source of joy. “So I thought… Dance had become Jung HoSeok’s cure. Something that helps him hold on. The thing that helps him bear something he can’t otherwise. That’s what dance is to HoSeok. Don’t you have something like that, SeokJin?” NamJoon regards him silently after this, leaving SeokJin much to contemplate. They promise to visit HoSeok together at the hospital. SeokJin hopes that if NamJoon knows just how much dancing means to HoSeok, he may figure out something from HoSeok’s reaction in the stairwell that SeokJin has missed. He just needs to figure out a natural way to get NamJoon into the stairwell at the right time.

On 12 May, SeokJin and NamJoon meet at the hospital. SeokJin suggests that they take the stairs since the elevators are crowded and lies about HoSeok being on the 3rd floor to strengthen his excuse. When they arrive on the 2nd floor landing, they hear footsteps and voices from above. The woman descending the stairs with a child is the one whom HoSeok keeps mistaking for his mother. SeokJin needs to stall until HoSeok comes down too, so he either suggests that they buy some snacks to bring or mentions that he may have got the wrong floor number and checks his phone. Moments later, they hear pounding footsteps and HoSeok shouting, “Mom!” NamJoon locks eyes with HoSeok and, unaware of what is about to happen, turns to follow the woman. “Ma’am! Excuse me!” Caught off guard, SeokJin is too late to grab HoSeok, who falls and screams. As he rolls on the floor clutching his leg, sealing the injury that will prevent him from dancing, the glass shatters.

SeokJin involves NamJoon in several more loops after that, but his attempts to save HoSeok end in failure. He wonders again if he should admit HoSeok to the hospital at all, but decides that if the incident is connected to HoSeok’s trauma, it needs to be solved rather than avoided. On a new 12 May, SeokJin stands near the hospital stairwell, prepared to intervene himself and ask HoSeok about his mother afterward. He spots JiMin emerging from the 2nd floor physical therapy room and pressing the elevator button. Hiding out of sight in the stairwell, SeokJin mulls over his options. If he prevents HoSeok’s accident, he still needs to get JiMin out of the hospital too—an effort that has been unsuccessful so far due to JiMin stopping at the exit or later having a seizure when they pass the arboretum. “Maybe the answer to HoSeok is… JiMin? What if… this incident is the variable between HoSeok and JiMin?” Heart pounding, SeokJin begins to hope that they can save each other. He doesn’t have enough time before HoSeok comes down the stairs to figure out what to say to JiMin and decides that he will just have to make the reason for his presence in the hospital believable. “JiMin!” he calls. “SeokJin? How are you here—” Looking shocked, JiMin steps back like he’s about to run away. SeokJin realizes that they haven’t met in this loop yet, and JiMin strongly dislikes people knowing that he’s in the hospital. With no time to explain, SeokJin leaves him behind and rushes into the stairwell. But he’s too late to catch HoSeok’s fall, and the story concludes with the glass shattering once again. (Based on The Notes 1, we know that the “successful” decision SeokJin makes in later loops is to stay out of sight when he calls JiMin. JiMin is puzzled by the silhouette he sees in the doorway and enters the stairwell just in time to catch HoSeok.)

Additional Thoughts

JiMin’s mother, Sim SeonMi, becomes one of the most fleshed-out adult characters in the BU narrative so far thanks to his story. We already knew the most about SeokJin’s father, Kim ChangJun, due to his role in The Notes 2. I’ve had an inkling of a suspicion that JiMin’s parents were connected in some way to SeokJin’s father, so I was satisfied to see this confirmed in the game. I’m curious about JiMin’s father and the lack of details surrounding him. He has only been depicted once in The Notes 1, when JiMin returned home days after sneaking out of the hospital with his friends.

Though it’s never explicitly stated in the texts, the Wings Short Film #6 MAMA depicts that HoSeok is diagnosed with Munchausen’s syndrome, a psychological disorder in which the individual pretends to be ill or deliberately produces symptoms of the illness. His prescription pills are actually placebos. On 16 May Year 22 in The Notes 1, HoSeok confesses to JiMin that his narcolepsy is fake, although he doesn’t feign symptoms on purpose.

I was personally a little disappointed with the lack of new information in HoSeok’s story. While his relationships with the auntie and other children from the home are explored in greater detail, the most significant plot points if his arc have already been covered as of The Notes 2.

I have no proof for this, but I want the unidentified crying boy who young HoSeok met in the hospital stairwell and brought to the rooftop to see the fireworks to be JiMin. If HoSeok was 9 at the time, then JiMin was 7. He has been in and out of the hospital since the arboretum incident (earlier that same year), so it is plausible that he had an overlapping stay with HoSeok in the summer of Year 11.

As mentioned above, the following “tl;dr” commentary summarizes the parenthetical notes I provided in the summaries in case you want to review them on their own.

Stopped Time — tl;dr commentary

In the opening cutscene, JiMin plays on the colored tiles in a hospital hallway and stops when he reaches “the line” by the exit door. This line marks the end of the psychiatric ward and is first described in his 11 May Year 22 entry in The Notes 1.

The Songho Foundation patron meeting that SeokJin attends on 22 April Year 22 was suggested by the city’s Deputy Mayor at the inauguration ceremony on 11 April. That earlier ceremony played out in JungKook’s arc.

Before the loop reset, SeokJin waits outside the Gyeong Il Hospital as he plans his next move since JiMin is moving out of the surgical ward that day. The date is unspecified in the game, but in The Notes 1, he is scheduled to return to the psychiatric ward on 16 May.

In this story, SeokJin picks TaeHyung to help him free JiMin from the hospital. He hopes that TaeHyung will be JiMin’s “answer,” just like YoonGi needed JungKook. JungKook saving YoonGi is not a solution that played out in YoonGi’s story, but this is a familiar theme from Notes 1 and forward. However, SeokJin and TaeHyung are caught by JiMin’s mother while trying to leave the hospital with him. We know from The Notes 1 that SeokJin’s later, successful choice ends up being HoSeok instead.

Before coldly leaving SeokJin and TaeHyung to rejoin her son, Sim SeonMi touches TaeHyung’s shoulder for a moment. This same gesture was given to HoSeok in the hospital after JiMin’s seizure at the bus stop on 15 September Year 20 in Notes 1. To SeokJin, her presence is like a wall separating them from JiMin. This echoes HoSeok’s feeling that she was drawing an uncrossable line between them that September.

At the end of the story, the vision JiMin sees reflected in the sink water of “that day” is referring to 6 April Year 11 and the events of the arboretum, first introduced in that dated entry in The Notes 1 and revealed in full on 12 August Year 22 of The Notes 2.

Someone Left Behind — tl;dr commentary

In the story’s opening, SeokJin refers to HoSeok’s collapse on 10 May. This is the date that HoSeok collapses and wakes up in the hospital in The Notes 1, and it is likely the moment referenced by his bridge scene in the I Need U MV.

When SeokJin observes that HoSeok is on good terms with the kids from the children’s home, HoSeok explains that he’s only been out of the home for about three months. He moved into his rooftop room on 25 Feb Year 22 according to that date’s Note accompanying the Persona album.

As he does in the game, HoSeok refers to the trains as “rockets” in his 4 July Year 22 entry from The Notes 2.

HoSeok’s memory of being abandoned at the carousel is also depicted in the Highlight Reel.

When searching HoSeok’s apartment, SeokJin notices the laptop’s web browser is open to an audition information video for a famous international dance team. This may be the same dance team that one of his friends from the children’s home successfully auditions for, referenced in HoSeok’s 4 July Year 22 entry accompanying the Tear album and 7 July Year 22 entry in The Notes 1.

At the end of the story, SeokJin hopes to gain JiMin’s help to save HoSeok but ends up spooking him because they haven’t met in that loop yet. Based on The Notes 1, we know that the “successful” decision SeokJin makes in later loops is to stay out of sight when he calls JiMin. JiMin is puzzled by the silhouette he sees in the doorway and enters the stairwell just in time to catch HoSeok.

Did you learn anything new from these stories that I did not specifically mention? Let me know in the replies or tags! Please stay tuned for part 4, featuring TaeHyung and the Epilogue.

[andoqin]

C-Novel Rec

So, I have a Deep Abiding Love for Chinese Webnovels, but not often do I get one that actually gets me deep in my heart in a way where I think about it after I’m done and so I wanted to talk about it a little here.

The novel I want to talk about is called Rebirth of a Star General (重生之女将星) , by Qian Shan Cha Ke (千山茶客). If you’ve read (hetero) c-novels, you might know her name, since she also wrote the novel Rebirth of the Malicious Empress of Military Lineage, which is almost a classic in this kind of rebirth genre. 

This Rec/Review/overlong essay is going to contain spoilers, so if you’re completely allergic to those I’ll just give you my TL;DR here: I preferred it a lot over RMEML.

Now to my endless wall of words:

Rebirth of the Star General is pretty much what it says on the tin, main character He Yan, is a famous general in her own right, but no one knows about it because she was only the stand-in for her sickly brother. When her brother grew up and was no longer sick, the family decided that he should receive the military honors she had earned and she would be married off. This was possible thanks to the fact she had always worn a mask, so as not to be discovered.<o:p></o:p>

He Yan was not entirely happy with this decision, but she thought she would make the best of it. Of course, it gets worse because not even a year into her marriage she is first poisoned and then blind as a result and later murdered by her cousin, a concubine of her husband.

She gets reborn as He Yan, beloved and spoiled daughter of a city guard and vows revenge, both on her former husband and on her family, but most of all she longs to become a general again, but this time under her own name and with acknowledgement of her being a female general. 

If you want your rebirth novels to include lots of face slapping or intricate revenge plotting, this is not the novel for you, since soon after she is reborn, she kills a guy out of self-defense and when his family and the city guard are after her she uses this chance to enlist in the army, disguised as a man. 

This is where she meets her arch-rival in her previous life, a man so gorgeous, once again entire paragraphs are filled trying to describe his magnificent beauty - a hallmark of this author if I ever saw one. She decides she will use this chance anyway, her knowledge of military tactics and her knowledge of her rival (and former classmate) possibly being beneficial in this case. 

The author makes it a point to emphasise that He Yan struggles initially to keep up with the military training, since she is now inhabiting the body of a woman who does not have experience with hard work and that she has to work twice as hard to be even mediocre, in the beginning. Obviously mediocrity does not lead to quick military advancement, so her getting incredibly fit very quickly anyway is not very realistic, but even before she had enlisted, He Yan had trained her new body and she has many years of experience as to how to get better and fighting experience, so I gave the novel a pass on that one. 

Up to this point the novel was entertaining, but it didn’t really grip me too hard, although I was impatient enough to MTL it, but as the story goes along He Yan really developed into one of my favourite c-novel heroines ever. So often in novels like this, the female character is treated as exceptional and all other women are dumb bitches, often just in the way of our main couple and dispatched accordingly. But He Yan does not treat other women like this and over the course of the novel builds lasting connections with all sorts of women.

And then there is the scene that made me go: okay yeah, this is going right up the favourite list.

He Yan meets up with the Second Male Lead (who never really is a serious threat to the OTP, He Yan only ever sees him as a friend and somewhat nice guy) and he tries the “oh you’re so unique and special, no other woman is like you” speech, but He Yan stops him and rips into him and the patriarchy in such a beautiful way, that even MTL doesn’t hamper:

   "A-He is very different from ordinary women."

     He Yan looked at her, "What's different?"

     Chu Zhao continued to walk forward, his voice still soft: "Most women, even though they are faced with such a predicament, are already numb and indifferent, and do not think as much as Ah He does. If A-He is thinking about them now, it is very likely that they wont enjoy it, and they will even complain that you are meddling in their affairs."

     He laughed: "This sounds a bit condescending."

     Chu Zhao smiled, "Why do you say that?"

     "The court is a man's court, the world's affairs are a man's world affairs, even when studying in the battlefield, it is men who are the only ones who have the grace. It is so unreasonable that men take advantage of the world, but in turn blame women for being numb-minded and unmotivated, what is this if not superiority?"

     "Brother Chu thinks that I am different from ordinary women because I have studied, I have left the house, and I even went to the military camp. But if you let those women be like me, who have seen the snow of Liangzhou Wei, the water of Jiyang City, the long moon of the desert, the rivers and mountains, do you think they would still be willing to be trapped in a jealous mansion, would they still be complacent and numb and foolish?"

     She smiled a little bit like Xiao Jue, "I think the men in the world are worried about this, so they have set up many ridiculous rules to bind women, breaking their wings with the three rules and five rules, and using those unwarranted 'virtuous wives and beautiful women' to judge them. The more foolish they are, the more reassured the men are, and the more they say, 'See, the women are shallow', when they are the ones who caused it!"

     "Because they also know that once women are given the chance to 'choose', they will never become a vase in the harem with their hands outstretched waiting to be fed by their husbands. Those good women would become generals, chivalrous men, scribes, staff, and compete with them for the grace of the world, and they, in turn, might not win."

     The girl's eyes were as clear as the water in the springtime of Ji Yang City, transparent and clear, seeing clearly and distinctly, as if they could reflect the most splendid daylight.

     He was always able to speak well and would not bring the atmosphere to an awkward point, but at this moment he did not know what to say. It was as if there was nothing he could say to refute the person in front of him. It was clearly a ridiculous, insouciant, naive and annoyingly righteous statement, but it shone out the shadow of a human being, with nothing to hide.

    He was also uneven in his heart.

     Although pretending to be "He Ru Fei" had brought her a lot of pain in her life, it had also taught her to see sights that many women would never see in their lifetime. If she hadn't pretended to be "He Ru Fei", she would not have known that men could do so much more than women. If you were talented in literature, you could be a bachelor with a full belly, if you were skilled, you could be a general with a good war record. Even if you were mediocre at everything, you could still be the most ordinary man on the street. To put it mildly, even at the Raketongzhuang, women were gambling prostitutes and men were gamblers.

    It was only because she later became "Madam Xu" and worked as both a man and a woman that she realised that the world treats men and women so differently, that it is not that men do not suffer, but their suffering can be the basis for judging themselves. The women, on the other hand, spend their lives waiting for the men's affirmation of their hardships.

    It is obvious that they are both born as human beings, but who is more noble than the other? It is ridiculous that some men still look down on girls from the bottom of their hearts, which makes people speechless.

and this is when the author pretty much states why He Yan would never be with SML 

   Chu Zhao and Xiao Jue were, after all, not the same. With women, they both considered them weak and unable to protect themselves. But the former's judgement had a hint of negativity and condescension in it, while the latter, as evidenced by the treatment of the female corpse in the Sun family's backyard in Liangzhou City, had more to do with pity.

And I loved that so much??? Yes, both the ML and SML have patriarchical attitudes towards women, but for He Yan there is a subtle and important difference. And this continues to be a theme throughout the book. One woman later keeps telling her son “Don’t underestimate women!” to later add, after He Yan has become a female general in her own right, under her own name, that He Yan might not be the only female general, there will be two, three or even more.

The romance is of the very, very slow variety and the main couple doesn’t even get together until the last quarter of the novel, officially, but before that we have all sorts of delicious fake relationship, cohabitation and other delightful tropey shenanigans.

The slow romance and relatively easy way the revenge is dealt out might mean this is not for everyone, but if you’re into a nice novel about a woman realising her goals, with a man who will always support her by her side, this might be for you.

And yes, she continues to lead armies after they are married :D

[cadomoisspokenfor]

Legion Rewatch Notes,

Chapter 6:

Balance

Farouk later says he made all this to keep David comfortable. But then why go through the effort of having therapy sessions with anyone else? Is he just delighting in the gaslighting?

Small thing, Ptonomy’s not technically a psychic in the same way David/Farouk/Oliver are, but he does have well practiced mental abilities. I wonder if it takes more work to trick him than the others. Same for Walter I guess.

“I like to think i’m a time traveller. I can go back and back, but all I can do is... watch.” Sad and also relevant for future episodes. Thinking about it, this a pretty character defining statement for Ptonomy. Perfect recollection of all the horrible things he’s seen in the past, but never able to change anything.

Also, Farouk sat there and listened to Ptonomy’s entire story patiently and quietly. To what end?

Do Cary and Kerry still think of themselves as siblings in this simulation? Or are they just codependent friends?

So Walters problem is fragile masculinity?

Why is Syd able to see through Farouks delusion? Why doesn’t Farouk do anything about it?

I theorized once that Syd could see through it cause she knows what it’s like to be in the white room, but Ptonomy and Melanie have been in the astral plane too. And Ptonomy prides himself on knowing when he’s in reality. Could it be that Syd just has a really strong sense of self? Because of her power I mean. “Everywhere I go, I’m me.” It’s also possible Syd holds no insecurities about whether she’s psychotic or not. So when reality suddenly changes, she doesn’t just brush it off.

Is Farouk over inflating parts of Amy’s real personality, or is this just a completely inserted personality with no tangible connection to the real Amy?

This isn’t how David sees Amy, but maybe it’s how Farouk sees her, for holding David back?

Ptonomy takes Lenny’s place here. By Farouk’s design, or is it just to show similarities between their personalities? Ptonomy can be a bit cruel towards people with trauma and grief.

David no longer loves dogs.

“Paul” and not “Ptonomy”. I think it’s just a nickname, and I *think* they use it later too.

“I just feel so in control here. Like- my expectations... I’m not trying to bite off more than I can chew...” David feels most comfortable with low expectations and small and manageable goals. This feels really relevant for later.

I think Lenny here realizes she’s made David too comfortable. He’s never gonna want to leave and become a God if this keeps up. Also, his attachment to Syd keeps him from becoming what Farouk wants him to be.

On that attachment, this is maybe the most at peace we’ve ever seen and will ever see David be in the show. And he cites his relationship with Syd as the reason.

(Small note) I don’t think it’d be fair to say that David moving forward, or even David before this, not prioritizing their relationship all the time is a mistake on his part. Even though the show sorta paints it to be one, most of the time when he’s pulled away it was either to save someone in mortal danger, or to stop a global threat. David’s constantly dealing with the classic superhero dilemma, but the others don’t seem to see what they’re putting him through. Or in some cases they do and think he should just get over it. Curse of his powers I guess.

“People always talk about the depression. But it’s the other side, that... invulnerable feeling. Tha- it’s.... dangerous.” The more David gives into the thought that he is a powerful mutant who can’t be damaged by anything, the more dangerous he becomes. This one’s hard to reconcile cause it means even if he wanted to use his powers for good he couldn’t because it’s treated as a slippery-slope to him becoming a villain. Dammit, Hawley...

Farouk clearly knows what makes David happy, but continues to try pushing him into the “I am God” thing despite this. Perhaps this is what he regrets in s3? He could’ve given David exactly what he needed, but like many parents, he wanted his kid to be a miniature version of him. He thought that was what was best for him. Later he’ll realize it wasn’t.

Melanie’s airplaning her food to no one. Is she just pretending or does she actually see Oliver there? Probably the former.

Cary and Kerry’s in-syncness isn’t always all that relevant to the greater plot, but it’s always fun to see.

Farouk’s probably still trying to build up David’s subconscious hatred of Amy.

David’s real upset about the pie. This note’s not necessarily important, I just feel bad for him 🥺.

Also, Syd tried to use this as an opportunity to get out of eating cherries. Valiant effort.

Those bugs are in the white room too. Is Farouk even leaving those on purpose? Or is it more like a mental infection?

The bugs are gone when Syd and the others are looking at it, but they reappear after she sits back down.

Farouk probably hasn’t gotten to flex his powers *this strongly* in 30 years. Hence the “Feeling good” dance sequence.

The same weird thing behind the glass that was in David’s room in Chap 1 is in Syd’s room this ep.

Syd’s also having nightmares about the real world here, just like she will in s3.

I reiterate, how can Syd tell?

MAYBE, the reason Syd could tell is she’s actually been in the real Clockworks before. The rest haven’t. Well, David has, but I don’t think he *wants* to question things right now. Being with Syd in Clockworks was a real happy time for him. Syd describes it like a feeling of deja vu. It’s all reruns to her, but... slightly edited reruns. A constant feeling of “that’s not how this went.” (Small note) It should be considered that David actively resist believing in anything supernatural because of his previous diagnosis. Ans his current one too, probably.

David feels the outside world is too complicated for him. “Too loud.” “I need the routine, the grounding. I’m good.” Interestingly, Dr. Busker’s the one who tells him the outside side worlds not cut out for everybody. Seems counterintuitive to her/Farouk’s goals.

David’s completely comfortable with growing old and dying in a mental hospital. This wasn’t the case at the start of Chap 1. I think the only thing that changed was Syd came into his life.

“I can’t stay here.”

“Not even for me?”

David’s relationship with Syd makes him feel happy and safe and comfortable, but Syd can’t stagnate. She assumedly has dreams outside of David or anything going on with Summerland. *Assumedly* since we’re not necessarily shown what those might be. (There is that alternate timeline where we see her in the back of a limi driving past homeless David)

This is all to say, their lives right now are too busy for them to sit down and talk about it, but there are hints that their long-term relationship goals are incompatible with each other.

It’s not brought up a lot but Kerry has a lot of chemical and prescription terms memorized. Probably from paying attention during Cary’s career, but still, it does make me wonder how she knows so little about other aspects of life in s2.

According to www.uofmhealth.org “Clozapine is an antipsychotic medicine that is used to treat schizophrenia after other treatments have failed.”

(Small aside for drug talk) [According to www.rxlist.com “Effexor (venlafaxine) is an antidepressant used for treatment of major depression.”

Those are the 2 drugs Cary and Kerry say Syd might be on. Said in response to Syd talking about the strange dreams she’s been having.

One of the listed side effects of Effexor is “strange dreams.”

Clozapine has a lot of things listed but I don’t see anything about effecting dreams. I do see drowsiness and muscle problems listed though, and Syd looks like she trips a bit before starting to talk about her dream.]

I didn’t realize on previous watches that Cary and Kerry both had Oliver related dreams. Cary saw the ice cube, and Kerry saw “20,000 Leagues Under the Sea.” Probably in reference to the diving suit.

Melanie in Mental Clockworks acts very similar to Melanie throughout s2. I’d go as far to say they’re the same. Perhaps Farouk is just overemphasizing already present parts of their personalities. When driven to this point Melanie’s willing to do or believe anything that will bring Oliver back. In s2 this mindset will be intentionally orchestrated by Farouk, then subsequently exploited for the cave conversation.

Is Walter interested in Kerry because he subconsciously recognizes her as the girl he shot before?

When Cary’s first brought into the astral plane he’s in the middle of a forest. Could this symbolize the forest around David’s old house? David also had to make a journey before getting to where Oliver was located. Though I can’t remember what he was surrounded by when he came in.

If Syd’s not in there because she doesn’t want to be touched, then why did David still do the pillow divider thing when they were in bed together?

Syd was stored in David’s memories of his childhood bedroom.

Ptonomy’s powers give off a very “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind” vibe. I think this is also the last time we see him in mental clockworks.

Walter definitely goes for power above all else.

Syd got locked behind that door she was so curious about.

Amy says some real targeted stuff here. She plays directly into David’s insecurities. If what she says is supposed to represent David’s deepest fears, than it would seem being unloved or underserving of love is the worst thing in the world to him. “You’re unwanted.” It feels doubly sad cause Amy visiting him in the hospital was probably what kept him going all those years without Syd. Lenny was nice but she... was also being treated.

Melanie prays.

Is it the actual Oliver that appears to Melanie at first? Whoever they are, they leave immediately after instructing her to somehow save David and Syd. It could be possible that Oliver did that to get a head start on it while he brought Cary up to speed.

Whenever someone questions his and Syd’s relationship, David’s only response is a defensive “We’re in love.”

Farouk’s sick of trying to indirectly manipulate David to his will and just starts outright venting about how he doesn’t get “love.”

This is also the first person-to-person philosophical discussion between David and Farouk.

Farouk also doesn’t get being “happy” and “fulfilled.” How sad.

Lenny says “Daaaviiiiiiiid” in the same way that Clark does.

Farouk calls himself a fungus here. If he’s using the previous metaphor, he means to say he’s feeding off David’s power and is eventually gonna burst out of his head, killing him in the process. (Added a few seconds after) I forgot he literally shows David that that’s what he means, lol.

Farouk’s downplaying his emotional connection to David here, claiming to only want to team with him for boosted power. But he does also say “I’m trying to help you.” I think this whole scene might be Farouk’s way of saying “Either you finally hatch and become a God, or I leave you behind to die. There are no other options.”

Again, Farouk knows what makes David happy and can’t accept that cause it’s not what he wants out of David. He’ll regret this later.

“Oh, you pretty things! Don’t you know you’re driving your mama’s and papa’s insane? Let me make it plain, gotta make way for the homo superior!” “Homo superior” in Marvel comics is another name for mutants. And David being the most powerful mutant in show would mean he’s the most “superior” of the homo superiors. Farouk locks his mind away for not realizing that. I guess he’s the “papa” in this scenario.

The lyrics to “Oh! You pretty things”in general is relevant to what’s going on at this point in the story.

Another line in particular sticks out, “Look out at your children. See their faces in golden rays. Don’t kid yourself, they belong to you. They’re the start of a coming race.” Farouk tries to essentially disown David at the end of this episode, but the song says “don’t kid yourself.” Farouk will eventually come to think of David as his son. A son that he knows he failed. Not yet though.

[rachelbethhines]

Tangled Salt Marathon - Keeper of the Spire

You wouldn’t know it upon first watch, but today’s story is one of the few non-filler episodes of season two. 

Summary:  In order to acquire the third scroll piece, Rapunzel, Eugene, Cassandra and Lance travel to the home of the Keeper of the Spire and meet Calliope who informs them the third piece is kept inside the Spire’s vault at the top of the mountain. The group begins the long journey to the Spire's vault the following day and become increasingly annoyed by Calliope’s rude, arrogant and inconsiderate behavior. Despite Calliope's treatment, Rapunzel insists they still need her help all while they being dangerously pursued by the vault's protector, the Kurlock. The group eventually reach the Spire's vault, but again encounter the Kurlock and discover Calliope is not the real Keeper of the Spire.

Once Again, ‘Destiny’ Isn’t a Goal

If you want to build up some sort of mystery with the scroll pieces and what awaits Rapunzel at the end of her quest, then that’s fine. But at some point you have to actually explain what her destiny actually is, how the scroll connects to it, and most importantly, why she needs to fulfill it. 

We’re never given a reason for why Rapunzel needs to reconnect to the moonstone, nor why she couldn’t have just stayed home and did nothing. The scroll itself doesn’t tell her anything and what it leads up to has nothing to do with ‘destiny’ and ultimately comes to nothing in the grand scheme of things.  

Indeed, much like the quest itself, things would have been better for everyone had she not found the scroll at all. 

Meet the Best Written Character In the Show

No, I’m not exaggerating. Calliope is the only recurring character in the series not to get royally screwed over by last minute rewrites and poor pacing. In fact her arc may have actually been improved by the dumb creative decisions of season three.  

Which is a problem because she’s not a main character. Her story and arc shouldn’t be more well rounded than Rapunzel’s. It’s also clear, given how the writers try to pitt her as annoying thorn in the heroes sides that is only tolerated because she’s useful, that they weren’t expecting the general audience to identify with her, and so her subsequent portrayal as the most developed character in the show is fully accidental.    

We Finally Get Some Indication of Cassandra’s Age

Well first off, we probably shouldn’t be getting such information about our deuteragonist this late in the game, but also, putting Cass in her early 20s recontextualizes her arc the same way Varian being 14 recontextualizes his conflict, but in the opposite direction. A 24 year old is more accountable for their actions than a 14 year old. Always will be. 

And before people try to get all pedantic on me; yes she’s only 23 here, and Varian is currently 15. What I meant is those are their ages at the start of their villain arcs, because the linear progression of time is a thing. 

This Joke Actually Highlights One of the Bigger Problems of Season Two

I laughed when I first heard this joke, but that’s cause I was under the assumption that they would go on to develop a friendship between Cass and Lance as the season went on. But they don’t. 

Cass never has any focus episodes that aren’t about her failing relationship with Rapunzel. She never interacts with the other four people that she’s traveling with outside of group scenes like this. Not even with Eugene, who we spent the whole previous season establishing a bond with. 

This undermines Cassandra’s arc in several ways. She less well rounded and developed without other people in her life besides Rapunzel; it ignores her place in the show as the older and wiser friend if she’s so majorly co-dependent upon only person. It also ignores what was set up in season one in order to push a certain narrative later that clashes with what we the audience already know.  

Plus there’s the added effect of other characters getting poor representation within the story. 

So Why Didn’t the Others Come Along Again?

I understand not being able to take the caravan upto the top of the mountain, but the road was wide enough to get it up this far. Also it didn’t take you all day to get here so you could just walk back to camp. 

But let's get to the real reason why the caravan was left behind. The writers wanted and excuse to get rid of Hookfoot and Shorty. Because they didn’t want to write them into the story. Because they have nothing to do with the overall plot and together they’re one too many characters to keep up with and give stuff to do to. Which begs the question of why they were ever included into the season at all. 

Also why leave Adria behind? She was the one who sent them up here. She’s the one who has a vested interest in getting Rapunzel to the end of her journey. She’s the only one driving the plot at the moment, so why not have her present to do just that?  

Rapunzel is a Hypocrite 

There’s not a single description that Rapunzel says here that couldn’t be applied to herself. 

Which would be funny if the writers ever actually acknowledged this within the series. 

Having parallels simply exist on their own and not actually inform the story is bad writing. Same with character flaws; acknowledge them, use them to advance both the plot and the characters, and build off of them to establish character dynamics. This is in part why Calliope is the better written character between the two of them. 

Behold, the One and Only Time Lance and Rapunzel Hold a Conversation with One Another! 

Speaking of characters not getting enough focus.... It’s just a set up for a recurring gag in the episode, but this is indeed the only point in the series where Lance and Rapunzel talk, about anything. 

It’s not just Cass who is prevented from establishing relationships, it’s literally everyone. All of Rapunzel’s focus episodes alternate between Cassandra, Eugene, or a random side character. Cassandra only gets focus when with Rapunzel. Eugene only gets development with either Rapunzel or on his own. Lance is only ever shown interacting with Eugene or Adria, outside of some highly specific one off instances like here. Hookfoot is left out in the cold save for three episodes and two of them double as New Dream folder. 

We’ve managed to pair the cast down to only six, as opposed to a whole kingdom’s worth of characters, and yet they have less development here than they did in season one. The group does not feel like a group, and that is a problem. 

How is This Meant to be Encouraging? 

Ok, I get what the writers were going for here. Calliope has low self esteem. she feels useless because she’s lost her only support group, her mentor. So Rapunzel is ‘inspiring’ her to fulfill her dream of becoming the new keeper of the spire. 

However, this is an incredibly bad take. 

Calliope lacks self esteem because she’s lonely. Her dream of becoming the keeper is directly tied to her father figure, who up till now was the only person who gave a damn about her. She only wants to impress Rapunzel because she wants a friend and she believes that she needs to be useful in order to get that. And here is Rapunzel and the narrative reinforcing that belief under the guise of ‘achieving a dream’. 

No fuck that! 

You don’t need to have a ‘purpose’ to have friends.You shouldn’t have to prove yourself useful just be respected and included. Also, Rapunzel doesn’t even befriend her. She just uses Calliope to get what she wants and then avoids her for the rest of the show; only checking up on her out of obligation in season three. 

So not only are we denied another female friendship in a show bereft of female relationships, but we also have a character who can be easily read as autistic by the audience needing to prove she’s useful to society in order to be accepted. 

Ugh! 

And yeah, I said autistic. We have a character who fails to pick up on social cues, hyperfixates upon her special interests, is rejected by society for trying to share these special interests, and she even pulls out her magic linked rings to fiddle with when stressed, which can be coded as a stim. I’m not saying that this was the writers’ intent, but nevertheless these are traits that people on the autism spectrum tend to identify with. 

So how insulting is it to watch this episode and see someone you could relate to being constantly put down by the heroes behind their back and then never apologize for it, even when said character admits their own fault? 

So Are We Ever Going to Get Any Background on this Spire? 

So the spire is one of the few places that is plot important in the show. Yet we never find out why it exists, who built it, how it came to hold such important plot devices, nor the story behind the keepers who guard it. It’s just there, and that’s infuriating because it’s both a lack of much needed worldbuilding and lore. 

Still A Better Dad than Frederic

Leaving for months on end without telling you loved ones why and where you’re going is a shitty thing to do. Doubly so if its just to teach your kids ‘a lesson’. However, The Keeper still winds up being a better parental figure than most of the other dads (besides Cap, who is awesome) in the series. That’s how low the bar has been dropped by Chris and his weird ideas on parenting. 

So What Was the Lesson Here?

Ok first off, Calliope didn’t need to be reminded of anything. The Keeper says as much. She was always persistent. The only lesson that she does learn is not to lie but apparently that’s not what we’re supposed to take from this episode. 

But what are we supposed to take away? Because Rapunzel doesn’t learn anything either. There’s no admittance of wrongdoing on her part  and she does not change her outlook or behavior from this encounter. 

Calliope at least learns to become more self assured after this episode and remains honest and true to herself once the episode is done with. Rapunzel however is the same. You can’t claim that this is ‘Rapunzel’s story’ (Chris’s words not mine) if it’s only random side characters who are allowed to grow.  Which is yet another reason why the main cast of characters don't get the development and interaction that they should.

That’s also why Calliope is better written than the main character and she shouldn’t be. It’s a bewilderingly oversight of basic writing.

Conclusion 

I don’t mind this episode. As I said in the beginning, it is one of the few non-filler episodes in season two. However, there’s a lot of problems with it to the point where I can’t actually call it good, just mediocre. 

[a-student-out-of-time]

April Fools Special Review: Part 1

I had some ideas regarding this day. I initially was going to do a spoof review of a hypothetical Session 3 arc, but given that its looking that the Puppetmaster is gonna be a big wham arc, I think I’ll hold off because if I write say how Kana manages to deduce where Iroha’s family hideout is located and then she freaking dies, that kinda kills the joke. Then I was going to do a spoof review on why Oncoming Storm is the best arc ever, but then it would be too obvious that this was a joke. So instead, because I said I was going to do a new ‘style’ of reviewing, how about a test drive of that? After all reviews aren’t just about the Arcs overall, you can also do reviews on various characters.

So, this is going to be a non-jokey review on an individual character. This is just a test run to see what general reception of these character reviews are. If you guys like them, I have a few characters lined up for this to sprinkle in if the Mod feels like they want a break at some point. If not well…you just get a one-shot character review and that’s that. With that out of the way who is going to get the honours of getting the character review treatment?

Let’s start things off with a strong one. It’s widely accepted that the best Arc overall is the Concert Arc, so naturally the focus should be on one of the Otonokoji Twins and because Kanade looks like she is still got more to bring to the table, lets focus on who’s had the best character development by far, the would have been Ultimate Vocalist, and Death herself; Hibiki Otonokoji!

Important Note: This review is factually accurate up to Connections. As Puppetmaster, the current Arc is still in progress I’m not counting that so if something big relating to Hibiki occurs there it won’t be included in this.

Shattering the Bird Cage

Out of all the SDRA2 characters, the character who got robbed the most in terms of development was Hibiki. I’m not happy with Nikei’s ultimate fate or the fact that Iroha got zero character development but overall, I do feel satisfied with their character arcs, and can see what LINUJ was trying to do. Hibiki never got that chance as she died in Chapter 3, y’know that one chapter which has a notorious reputation for robbing characters of their character developments? *Taka, Hiyoko and Tenko coughs* I already had bad feelings that something was gonna happen to the twins because I seriously thought LINUJ was going to kill one off, and then the other would be a survivor. And it could have worked both ways, Hibiki being offed and Kanade learns to be more assertive of herself, or Kanade dies and Hibiki realises she needs to mature as an individual. As the game progresses though, you get the sense there’s something wrong with the twins. Kanade seemed too calm and too useful and as I mentioned in a previous arc review, I thought that Kanade was lying about her talent as that’s a common occurrence in Danganronpa. But Chapter 3 changed all that. After realising the previous two murders were indirectly caused by her immaturity and that she needs to take responsibility for her actions, Hibiki starts to go through some character development and becomes more useful to the group overall. But then the motive videos and her bitch of a sister slam-dunked that.

Point is, Hibiki couldn’t break away from her sister even if she tried. Heck, the Otonokoji Twins share their FTEs so you CANNOT do Hibiki and Kanade individually. As I pointed out to the Mod, I understood from a lore perspective why this was done, but I still found it very frustrating. But one of the main goals of ASOOT is that characters who got little to no character development or were done dirty, got their redeeming chance. And by heck did we get it. Nikei may have been the first Another character to make an appearance, but he wasn’t the first Another character mentioned, heck he was only the 4th character, as the Twins and Kanata came before him! When Hajime was searching information on people who would get caught up in the Tragedy during the Practical Exams arc when recovering from his ankle injury, he came across information that the Otonokoji Twins as part of their nationwide tour, were planning to visit Tokyo on July 5th. After hearing from the Anons how much of a bitch Kanade was, he made notes to do something about it but nothing much came from it. But as we know the Practical Exams had a heck of a fallout as Hajime revealed his superhero persona Kasugano for the first time to the general public, and the fallout of his exposing the teachers’ abuse meant that a third of the facility staff got fired, including the school’s guidance councillor. This meant Hope’s Peak brought in more people, mainly alumni from previous classes, and among them was Yoruko Kabuga, the former Ultimate Hostess. She requested to see Hajime which seemed very unusual. Sure, Hajime had a bit of a reputation in Hope’s Peak at that point as his preventing of Natsumi and Sato from killing themselves was extremely well known in the school and he has a few friends from the Main Course, but a newcomer like Yoruko wouldn’t have known that, it’s got to be more than that. And when talking to Yoruko, she accidently slipped and called Hajime ‘Kamakura’, but she shouldn’t have known about Hajime and Izuru being linked. Firstly, knowledge on the Project shouldn’t be known to her, and secondly Hajime cancelled his participation in said project. The only way that Yoruko could have known is if she is like Hajime and came from the future. A quick trip to the Physics building and a scan from Umeko confirmed that yes, Hajime isn’t the only time traveller around and Yoruko is another fellow resident from the OG Timeline.

Yoruko now being a fellow time traveller, obviously meant she threw her lot in with Hajime and joined the Quantum Crew. With that Hajime was able to get more details about the Void Killing Game from her, trying to persuade her that Void CAN be redeemed, and said they are no different from him and his friends, who did more fucked up shit then they did. Yoruko was relucent but she did relent in the end. And with Yoruko, Hajime was able to get precise details and after hearing how deprived Kanade truly was and that Hibiki was the biggest victim in all of this, he decided to go to the concert for two reasons. Firstly, to expose to the world Kanade’s true nature and get her arrested, and secondly to rescue Hibiki.

Naturally things didn’t go to plan at first as Kanade showed precisely WHY she gotten away from killing for so long as she tricked Hajime and Chiaki into eating poisoned chocolate and they died slowly and painfully. But little did Kanade or Hajime know is that he had a special power. When bathing with his girlfriends, yes plural, they noticed that Hajime had 9 glowing dots on his back and they are emitting concentrated Tachyonic energy that Umeko couldn’t figure out why this was going on. But when Kanade killed Hajime, he suddenly found himself outside of the hotel with Chiaki and the twins a few hours earlier. He hastily changed his plans and once back at the hotel he looked in the mirror and saw that his once 9 dots are now 8, implying he has up to nine lives, and he used one up. It’s a cool mechanic and it makes sense because whatever power bestowed Hajime with this ability also knows that Junko is a very tough opponent to defeat. It also gives Hajime a bit of a safety net so if things go really wrong, he can just reset and try again.

But eventually Hajime and co succeeded in nailing Kanade and getting her arrested, and Hibiki’s worldview just shatters. Imagine if you are Hibiki for a second. Throughout your entire life your parents have neglected you and all you had was your twin little sister. You did a lot of activities together and eventually discovered you two are really good at music, and thus decide to put a band together, and it became so good and popular that you decided to hit the idol industry. Your band, Melody Rhythm, topped the charts and your nationwide tour is a huge success. Sure, there is that annoying ‘curse’ rumours about how everyone close to you disappeared or committed suicide, but those are dumb rumours by haters, you don’t let that bother you. Then in Tokyo, you meet up with some students from Hope’s Peak Academy and they are looking to scout you and your sister for the prestigious school that graduation guarantees success for life. Hajime, the Ultimate Detective, said that those ‘curse rumours’ aren’t mere rumours, there is in fact a stalker that is after you and your sister and they are responsible for all the disappearances and suicides that have plagued your life. That’s…worrying but surely with the Ultimate Detective on the case, the stalker will be caught, those nasty curse rumours will disappear and you have new friends in Hope’s Peak Academy, right? And you get along really well with him and his girlfriend Chiaki, the Ultimate Gamer. Then one day you and Chiaki are shopping and meet up with some of Chiaki’s friends, who also seem like nice people. You are a bit worried where Kanade is but Chiaki said she’s with Hajime so they will join up with you two shortly. And then Chiaki goes to the bathroom and suddenly, the speakers in the shopping mall come to life. A conversation between Hajime and Kanade is broadcasted across the entire mall, and the truth comes out. All those disappearances…all those suicides…all those accidents…all of them were caused by the one person you trusted above all else, and worst of all, she did it because she had an incestuous lust over you and would kill anyone who gets close to you in order to degrade your mind into a subservient ‘puppet state’ where you do EVERYTHING she asks for. And just like that life as you knew it was OVER.

Unsurprisely Hibiki does not take the news well, so badly she takes it she immediately turns into the ‘puppet state’ where in her catatonic state, Chiaki and Mikan had to carry her to Yoruko’s car, thankfully, Hibiki is a short and light girl so this task is a lot easier than it could have been. I mean if Iroha of all people was able to carry Kanade back to the Monocruise in SDRA2, then I’m sure the combined efforts of Chiaki and Mikan could cope. After Kanade is tied up having been beaten to near unconscious by Sonia, clearing up all evidence that Hajime was there, and Gundham having finished leaving the evidence behind for the police, everyone then heads back to Hope’s Peak, where Hibiki is brought before the psychologists of the school, Koroko and Miaya. Neither of them could make heads or tails of the ‘puppet state’ and for the first few days, Hibiki was stuck in the Puppet State, being fed IV drips to keep her alive. Despite all the best efforts of Koroko and Miaya, they couldn’t snap her out of it, or even figure out what it was. Yoruko though had an idea to restore Hibiki. According to Kanade, the Puppet State does wear off after a while but we don’t know what the time limit is at the moment, or if the shock of finding out her sister’s true nature regressed to into a permanent Puppet State. Yoruko then over the course of the next few days, went through various interviews that the Otonokoji Twins had and got some voice clips of Kanade together in order to digitally construct a command for Hibiki to wake up. Once she got it together, it worked and Hibiki was now awake, having been in the Puppet State for 3 days.

//And so it begins!

[docfuture]

Princess, part 11

      [This story is a prequel, set several years before The Fall of Doc Future, when Flicker is 16.  Links to some of my other work are here.  Updates are theoretically biweekly. Next chapter is mostly done so I’m going to try to get it out later in August.]

Previous: Part 10

     Five days after Speedtest.  Three days after the isotope exchanger had worked enough for Flicker to restart her body chemistry.  Then a scramble of pain, healing, and memory triage before, finally, sleep.  She'd awakened, mentally fogged, to start a messy program of biological recovery and physical therapy, complicated by the need to spend more time in the isotope exchanger to reduce her not-immediately-lethal-but-still-a-problem radioactivity.  For her minds, a fuzzy time of finding and patching connections, habits, and memories that were temporarily broken, misplaced, distorted, or newly intrusive.  For respite, ghosting to Antarctica, gliding in the low sun over ice and cold air, never near anything living.  Sleep remained fitful.       Evening.  The last really needed isotope exchanger session done.  Body and mind were now holding together, even if neither were yet anywhere Flicker was particularly happy with.       Talking to Doc in his lab.  He frowned at a brain scan, some graphs, and a schematic of a cybernetic inductor.       "I checked in on your medibots, because you mentioned your start routine this morning was still rough.  Looks like your mind work was okay despite that, though?"       "Caffeine helped," said Flicker.       "And you can drink it again, and eat.  Progress.  I'm concerned at this scan though.  It still shows signs of cybernetic interface withdrawal.  I don't know how long that will last, given everything else.  How bad is the ennui and poor appetite?"       "Caffeine helped.  A little."       "Hm.  Not much we can do other than wait.  I had the Database forward the medibot scans and other information to Dr. Reinhart's partition."       "Thanks.  But I have a question."       "Yes?"       "You agreed to all of Dr. Reinhart's terms, including Database access, even though she's got a really questionable background, and doesn't want to meet or talk to you.  Her last message mentioned it wasn't an encouraging sign, because it meant I needed help pretty bad."       "Well, you do.  Frankly, I'd be more worried if she was cheerily optimistic.  And the Database picked her as the best choice.  Fortunately Jumping Spider knew a bit about her, and was willing to do that interview.  So I'm satisfied for now."       "I guess I don't get how you're okay with the uncertainty about a mind control expert."       "I did verify that she wasn't gaming the Database threat index.  The correlations are suggestive of a mission-oriented vigilante targeting actively harmful individuals with power that have little or no likelihood of being stopped or removed by other means.  Plus a few covert operations agents trying to kill her.  The threat index understates her effect, because she operates in realms where data is sparse and of poor quality.  As for the alleged mind control, it may just be a combination of psychological manipulation and some kind of hidden influence.  But there is no question she uses her reputation as an effective tool."       Doc waved a hand.  "And I have a reputation for being paranoid about mind control, which isn't going to make her more eager to meet me, is it?  Our security protocols may not be compatible, and I can think of several other potential good reasons for her to stay away.  But ultimately it doesn't matter.  She doesn't want to talk, so that's that.  She owes me nothing.  I wouldn't mind discussing mind control defense with her, and I don't like uncertainty any more than you do.  But I've had a couple more decades to get used to it.  I know I can't solve all the world's problems myself.  Priorities."       A crooked smile.  "Now, none of this means that you should accept everything she says uncritically, or that you should strive to emulate her, morally or otherwise.  And I'm sure she'll drop some unpleasant surprises on you.  But she agreed to help, and she certainly understands the stakes.  Are you having trouble with social boundaries again?"       "When did this become about me?"       Doc just looked at her.       "Okay, yeah."       "Boundaries are a difficult problem for you.  So I hope your work with Dr. Reinhart is productive, and that you eventually have an opportunity to discuss them with her."       *****       The next morning had certainly started off productive.  And difficult.  Flicker had been very much looking forward to finally recovering enough to talk--physically talk, with real air, vocal cords, sound, and hearing--to Dr. Stella Reinhart.       Flicker faced Dr. Reinhart in her office.  Stella.  She said to call her Stella.  She was in her late twenties, about 170 centimeters tall, with dark hair and green eyes, and wore jeans, boots, a leather jacket, and a work shirt.  She looked dangerous because she was dangerous, and had the sort of intent, purposeful expression Flicker had learned to watch for when evaluating an emergency site at high speed--if someone like that was running, it was a very good idea to find out why.       The office was bland, more often used by the assistant who handled paperwork for Stella's consulting business.  But there were comfortable chairs.  Stella sat in one, not behind the desk, after saying a few words about subconscious framing and symbolic barriers.  A cable ran from her laptop to the now thoroughly guarded office net connection and from there to the Database.  DASI was on duty, capital S for Security duty, with subtle and wide-ranging countermeasures.  Excessive?  DASI didn't think so, nor did Stella.  One less thing for Flicker to worry about, which helped.       The office was in a half empty building in a not particularly prosperous location, but it did have sliding doors opening onto a patio.  Dr. Reinhart had left them open to accommodate Flicker's claustrophobia.  Flicker had set up a portable force screen to keep out weather and complete the veil of security.       Flicker's speed mind idled, handling just alerts and safety.  She was talking with her physical body and brain only, entirely at human speed, about something stressful, with no help from speed mind.  Holding back was hard.  More so in the aftermath of Speedtest--her old problems with self-interrupting and awkward blurting had returned.  She chased thoughts and sentences faster than her mouth could complete them, as clumsily as when she was thirteen.       Embarrassment intruded as she veered and rambled, but Stella had suggested this starting test, after initial introductions.  Every verbal issue, every bit of awkwardness that she normally compensated for, everything she smoothed over, eliminated, or hid with speed, visor and Database--all that was data, that told Stella how the human half of Flicker's mind worked.  And Stella could use that as a baseline to probe how the high speed half of Flicker's mind worked, and how she coordinated.  So she endured.       Flicker stumbled to a stopping point.  She'd managed a partial, excessively wordy, and not entirely coherent description of her problems and goals.  She had digressed from and mangled her text summary, but talking out loud, in her own words, from her own mind, without notes, had been the point.       She took a calming breath and tried to untense.  This was the only part where talking was essential.  I can switch to text now if I really have to.       Stella smiled and thanked her, then turned to type at her computer.  Her exact words escaped as Flicker's speed mind started a flurry of mental replays and second-guessing, but the Database flashed 'Break time' on her visor.  Relief.  Out through the doors, speeding past land and human complication to the Pacific.       Slow coasting, well under 0.01c, while the two parts of her mind reintegrated.  A wordless reckoning that normally went one way--slow mind to fast on waking up, and back before sleep.  Tides flowing predictably over the sands of short term memory.  Now the flow went both ways, boats loading and unloading as both minds took turns at 'Let me put that in a better place...'       Still less stressful than the talking had been.  Even deciding when to breathe had been awkward--speed mind had smoothed that for so long she'd almost forgotten.       Fifteen minutes of waves and sunlight and motion.  Coasting along crests and troughs.  Manta rays breaching, sudden unexpected joy, a reminder that the world held marvels still happening.  It helped.  When she got the message to return, she was much calmer.       Back at the office, a quick smile from Stella.  "I have good data, and some preliminary assessments.  I'm afraid we're unlikely to complete your priority list any time soon.  One thing is clear; mind isolation during treatment is not a viable option.  Your 'speed mind' is essential to your functioning and current identity, even at normal speed.  So we'll work towards better coordination.  But I have some serious concerns."       A glance at her screen.  "I should emphasize my disclaimer:  This is a compassionate personal intervention in the absence of a qualified specialist.  I am not a clinician, my research methods would give an IRB heart attacks, et cetera.  And I have some reservations about the process by which I was selected.  I sent the full text to your Database earlier.  Did you read it?"       "Yes," said Flicker.  "I understand why you might need it for legal protection.  Also if you're, like, a serial killer who eats souls, I have Officially Been Warned."       "That works.  I still go to conferences, and I create enough controversy on my own.  It would be inconvenient to be widely banned from international travel.  But I imagine you still have some questions."       Flicker shrugged.  "I'm curious about a few things.  But if you weren't already doing weird superhero-adjacent and spyworld stuff,  I don't think you'd have the experience to help without researching me for a year first.  Anyway, go ahead."       Speed mind shifted and reversed, back in her normal mental dance, speeding up and slowing down to aid stability and coherence.  The desire to clarify and add to her awkward presentation to reduce social embarrassment was strong.  But it was time to listen.       "For your difficulty speaking," said Stella, "I agree with your Database AI that most of your returned problems should fade with social practice.  You appear to have optimized your verbal coordination in order to present as a neurotypical human, so any change would cause temporary issues."       "Because squishy brain is autistic.  And yeah I did.  It's a real pain to get strangers to listen if you don't talk 'normal human'."       "Your distress is understandable.  You do have traits in common with individuals with Asperger's and ADHD, but given your unique mind, it's probably best to view them as suggestive analogies--you have similar problems with similar coping mechanisms.  'Non-neurotypical' is as far as I'd go, and much of the cause may be consequences of the connection to your speed mind.  Other issues are clearer."       Stella leaned back in her chair.  "Such as PTSD.  You have layered coping mechanisms, but your Database stress history indicates that you tend to overwork or otherwise push yourself back to a ragged edge whenever you manage to achieve progress in reducing its effects."       Stella clasped her hands in front of her face.  "I doubt that dealing with the underlying issues will be an easy or quick task, but this is something you need to mitigate.  I'll try to help you set realistic expectations when I understand more.  One particular note.  I can't speak to Doc's own mental health.  But the elements of his work and life habits available for study indicate someone rather unhealthy for a PTSD sufferer to emulate.  And whatever he might say, you took early cues from what he did."       Stella frowned.  "Your memory problems...  I'm going to defer judgement on some of them until you've had more time to recover from your recent incident.  And there are a number of other potentially serious long-term conditions that I now consider less likely, but can't yet rule out.  But I am concerned that your Database AI already warned you about everything I've brought up so far, and some other issues that are more recent.  I'd recommend revisiting your heuristics."       Flicker spread her hands.  "I didn't ignore the Database.  I just couldn't do anything useful.  I patched what I could and kept going."       "That invites trouble when a new problem disturbs your patches."       "Well, yeah.  I get angry at things I can't fix.  So I put them out of my mind to stay sane."  Flicker looked away.  "At least out of my conscious, human mind.  Part of me remembers.  And stays angry."       She looked back and tried to smile.  "I sometimes joke that I haven't lost my mind; I keep backups.  Doc always retorted with how arduous it could be to try to restore from one.  And that a mental backup doesn't bring things back the same, because the world has moved on.  He was right.  I had to try to restore a few things I misplaced during Speedtest and it was a pain.  It stirs everything up, and I kept running across crap I'd stashed away because I couldn't deal, and I still couldn't deal because it was hitting all at once during a restore."       The smile probably looked more like a fixed grimace.  "So don't tell me about trouble and patches right now.  I know."       "Good," said Stella.  "I will be going over things that seem obvious.  People make tradeoffs, and mistakes, and I'd rather annoy you than miss any.  But I also understand that this session has been stressful for you, and you aren't fully recovered.  I can give you some initial recommendations and we can be done for the day, if you would like."       Flicker took a deep breath, then let it out.  "I'd like to keep going, now that I have my minds working together again.  It's just... I should have reworked my priority list after you told me how you wanted to start, and put my anger issues higher on it.  And there's this book I read, called Practical Power Dynamics..."       An alert flashed on Flicker's visor and she sped up.  The Database needed her override approval to resolve a convoluted permissions problem, which she granted.  Stella's base permission level was only equivalent to a trusted outside academic researcher, so approval requests were going to be common for a while.  Flicker slowed back down again to listen.       "Where did you get the edition you read?" asked Stella.  "It doesn't look like it was from the Database."       "No.  There was a version, but the Database didn't let me read that one.  There were a bunch of hazards and warnings.  The version I read is there now, I scanned it then locked it down.  Doc doesn't know about it.  I got it from Journeyman.  He said he traded a bibliomancer to reconstruct an original text copy.  Then let me read it, because he was worried and thought it might help me."       Stella put a hand to her forehead and studied her computer display.  "I see.  What that alleged bibliomancer did should not be possible.  But never mind that now.  Was your visor recording when you discussed it, and if so, would you be willing to share a transcript?"       "Sure."  Another bit of access granted.       Stella spoke slowly while scanning her screen.  "I'd like to ask a favor of you.  Please do not reread Practical Power Dynamics, or try to use any of the techniques, before I've had a chance to make some annotations for you.  And assume it's more dangerous to you than the author intended.  You read what appears to be an early draft that was never distributed."       Flicker frowned.  "How do you know that?"       "I wrote it."       "Oh, that's great!  I had a lot of questions, but I couldn't--I mean it was still dangerous.  But you can tell me what to watch out for.  I loved the humor, the way you made pieces fit that everyone just seems to assume or ignore.  And the parts about anger were..." Flicker trailed off.  "You don't look happy.  What's wrong?"       "Well, at least you weren't completely blind to the danger," said Stella.  "I started writing what became Practical Power Dynamics when I was about your age, at a time when I was not managing anger well.  I would not write that way today.  I need to see what I can do to defuse some hazards to you.  I wrote it as a vector for social engineering, and I didn't devote enough attention to second-order side effects in atypical individuals.  Even after I toned it down."       Flicker thought about that at speed for a while.  It made sense that Stella was worried.  Doc spent a lot of time worrying about extending methods to new domains, and the false sense of security you could feel because you were doing familiar things you'd done many times before.  The methods might only be safe because most of the unexpected failure modes had already been found--but a new domain could bring new ways to make horrible mistakes.  You just couldn't be sure.  That had been one of the main points of Speedtest.  There were a lot of things going on in Practical Power Dynamics, and Flicker's mind was a new domain for many of them.       "It didn't feel like it caused damage," she said.  "I didn't try any of the active techniques because I was warned about traps, but the insights helped."       "I can certainly understand why you liked it.  I wrote it to resonate, but that doesn't mean it helped."  Stella smiled wryly.  "The text you read has the potential to magnify a number of problems.  And even the distributed version was never intended for someone like you--I did not consider the psychological impact of absorbing the whole thing in under a minute.  Not to pry into restricted details, but have you by any chance experienced an episode of unjustified arrogance or megalomania recently?"       A sudden chill.       "...I know that feeling, it's Now I Am Invincible, it's incredibly dangerous for a superhero..."       "...maybe."  No, be clear. This is safety information.  "Yes."       "The book definitely didn't help with that."       "My partner thought it would help with something.  He wouldn't just..."       Stella frowned.  "It might have seemed appropriate as a form of disaster aversion.  A 'break glass in case of emergency' psychological reset to forestall something worse.  But not as a long term solution, and he'd know that."       Flicker closed her eyes.  "It wasn't and he did.  He's gone.  We aren't patrolling together anymore."       Flicker had been managing to compartmentalize up to that point.  Journeyman hadn't returned to Doc's HQ while she'd been recovering, or sent any message other than a brief note wishing her well.  She'd set aside awareness of that, and their last conversation, pretending he was just temporarily away again.       But their load-bearing social fiction had collapsed, leaving nothing but rubble.       Speed up.  Shift focus in speed mind.  Ignore her human emulation, it was working all too well.  Try a different perspective.       Consider the positive.  She'd learned too much during her time with him for reflexive avoidance of memory to be appropriate.  She had her own strength, her own self, her own plans, where he was but memory and data.  That could be a placeholder, a way to consider him as Flicker adjusted.  It was definitely less disruptive than an emotional shutdown.       Now slow down and return.  Emotion and context flooded back, but she had a reference point.       Her visor was beeping at her.  She opened her eyes, and saw the alerts--the reason for the beeping.       Warning: Situational awareness lost, Alert: Emotional crisis reaction signs, Alert: Potential dissociation trigger, Alert: Database permission upgrade request for Dr. Stella Reinhart--crisis context information.       She virtual typed to grant the permission.  Then straightened, her face under control.  This was her problem, not his.       The book dedication had been perfectly clear.  For Doc Future.  It's a trap.  She'd read it anyway.       So had Journeyman, but at least he hadn't ignored three blocks, eleven warnings, and 47 advisories, like she had.       Tap.  Tap.  Tap.  Stella was glaring intently at her laptop display and speedreading--a page for each tap.       Flicker took the opportunity to do breathing exercises and calm herself.       "What a mess," muttered Stella, as she continued to read.  "Flicker?"       "Yes?"       Tap.  Tap.  "I'm sorry, clinical detachment and academic objectivity aren't going to be sufficient for everything.  How do you feel about 'Angry woman on your side'?"       "That sounds nice, actually."       Tap.  Tap.  Tap.  "Good to know.  Also, do not ever underestimate your Database security AI.  She was on the phone with me for all but five seconds of the time between when you started to read Practical Power Dynamics and when she interrupted your fight with Journeyman to announce my tentative willingness to help.  And she called Jumping Spider to secure an emergency override in there, too.  I have a theory about that, but it's probably not something she's allowed to admit.  I'll see if I can sort through it.  Along with everything else.  This is going to take a while.  But..."       She paused in her paging.  "I'm curious about the last few months before you became partners with Journeyman.  The Database records are somewhat opaque.  You were patrolling sporadically, and it's clear you weren't very happy, but I'm wondering to what extent that was due to PTSD."       "I don't think about those months very much anymore," said Flicker.  "Doc tried a couple of things to try to get me to cheer up, like asking if I wanted to partner with Jetgirl.  I said no.  I mean, she's a good friend, and we have an arrangement where she can call me for support when she needs it, but she usually doesn't, so it would have been more like being a sidekick.  And I didn't want that.  Journeyman actually needed my help, so I could accept his as an equal."       She looked down.  "I wasn't feeling very connected during that time--not continuously, anyway.  I remember specific events, but I'd have to check the Database for a lot of the dates and chronology.  Everything after the Japan quake.  That was just before I turned fifteen, and... I didn't do too well."       Stella raised an eyebrow.  "The Database evaluates your actions as saving more lives than anyone else.  And it's not close."       "Well, but you should really account for speed.  I mean, if you scored a flower-picking contest just by numbers, I could win with speed, but that doesn't mean I'm good at it.  And... I don't like to talk about the quake.  There were some media bits trying to turn me into a hero of the response and... No.  Just no.  Not respectful.  They're still rebuilding and recovering and it's not my story to tell.  I usually keep it compartmentalized.  Mostly what I remember is to be wary of arrogance."       "Mm.  Would you be willing to tell me your viewpoint?  Your personal experience is most definitely yours to share."       "I suppose."  Flicker took a deep breath and looked back up.  "It wasn't bad for me personally.  I didn't get hurt.  It was just...  There'd been some warnings, but it was confusing because of foreshocks, so no one could really tell how bad it was going to be.  I got the alert from Breakpoint before the main quake hit--his Danger Sense went off and he wasn't even in Japan, so I knew it was going to be bad.  I didn't know where the epicenter was going to be exactly, so I just went off the Database's best estimate, and went up and down the coast writing giant kanji for 'Earthquake' in the air so people would know.  My plasma flash and shockwave boom actually helped there, because it got people to look out windows and see.       "Then the quake hit, and went on and on, and the estimates kept going up: it's 8.4; no, it's 8.6; no, it's 8.7; no, it's 8.8; no, it's fucking 9; it eventually turned out to be 9.1.  And then my Database com started dropping signal because my visor couldn't synchronize my position for tight beams any more.  I was used to really accurate position data, and everything had moved.  Everything was still moving.  Ground level wasn't ground level, and everything had literally gone sideways.  GPS was messed up, and the Database kept trying to correct for shit and it wasn't enough.  There was one error that caused trouble for a while that was from the Earth not rotating on the same axis any more.       "So, I'm running around with intermittent comms, stopping external debris and ripping the roofs off of buildings that were collapsing on people, then making the choices for intermediate floors for the big ones--do I rip it out?  Will that hurt the people who might ride it down more than having it fall will hurt the people below?  And can I get the debris out of the way fast enough without blinding and deafening everyone?  What kind of building is it?  I knew very little Japanese, and my visor translator was shit without Database support.  The hospitals were solid enough that I let them take their chances, because there just wasn't much I could usefully do, but a few of the nursing homes and big apartments with lots of old people were pretty bad.  I'd pulled collapsing buildings apart before, and it was like that, except... two thousand buildings at once.  And seeing all those scared people.       "And finally Doc got a message through, telling me I needed to punch a hole through to the ionosphere with rocks, because the Volunteer was on suborbital coming in as fast as he ever had and needed me to get the air out of way so he didn't kill anyone with his shockwave on arrival.  So I went up to a place called Fukushima and made a pathway for him, so he could keep a bunch of nuclear reactors from melting down, then went back to ripping apart buildings.  Until I got another message from Doc telling me I needed to let them go and start taking the edge off the tsunami."       Flicker looked out the doors.       "I thought, fuck that, I'll stop the tsunami.  It's just a wave, right?  Moving water, way offshore, no humans near, I could use all my speed and power.  Energy and momentum.  None greater than mine."       She shook her head.  "It wasn't just a wave.  A whole huge section of seabed had been stuck bent over like a big flat sheet of wood, then released.  One end went up like seven meters.  All the water above it went up too, and the surface was now above sea level.  And all that water had to go somewhere.       "It wasn't just a wave.  Water flows downhill.  Doc knew.       "I started with the lateral plasma sweeps and the shockwave hammer loops and the entrainment runs while I had the Database figure out just how much damage I'd do if I vaporized enough of the excess water to stop the tsunami.  Database took a long time."       She looked back at Stella.  "I could vaporize enough to stop it.  But--best case--it would kill five million people with a shockwave of plasma and superheated steam.  More likely fifty.  And fuck up the weather over the whole Northern hemisphere for months.  The floods from the rain alone would... anyway.  Stopping it was way worse.  So I just had to take the edge off as best I could.       "It was enough to let the Volunteer stabilize the reactors.  And I thought it would be enough for almost all the people, I really did.  And then the Database had enough data finally to tell me it wasn't."       "Why not?" asked Stella.       "The other end of the board.  A big stretch of the coast of Honshu dropped when the seabed rose.  What had been sea level--was now a meter below sea level.  And the ground above it, and the people on that ground, were now a meter lower.  So what looked safe--wasn't."       "I went back one last time to write more Kanji.  'Run.'  But not everyone could run.  And not everybody who could would leave behind the ones who couldn't."       "I did as much as I could," she said.  "Maybe too much, some places--reflections and a change in the shape of the seabed meant I likely made things worse in one spot.  But 'only' about two thousand people died in the tsunami.  Plus maybe fifty or so I killed trying to stop it.  Most of them in boats in really bad places, but they might have lived, except my shockwaves meant they didn't.  I couldn't... it was just 'Sorry, it's not your day, ever again'.       "Even after it started hitting I kept running around, clearing debris, trying to give people a little more time.  And then, finally, it was over, ebbing back, and Hideki and the Japanese superheroes were arriving, and Golden Valkyrie's Choosers, and all the emergency responders.  And all the ordinary people who helped.  If anyone was heroes it was them.       "I went on autopilot for a while, just followed Database instructions after my com was back, not trying to process, because I couldn't.  There was a weird voice yelling on my com whenever I saw bodies for a bit until I figured out it was me and stopped.  And... Well, I don't really remember much after that.  You can read about it in the Database if you want."       She waved a hand.  "You know what?  You want a hero?  K'Krowl the Younger.  Kaiju from the Deep Kingdoms.  Big lizard.  Lived up near the Aleutians.  He was headed south along the coast, on his way to attack Tokyo, when the quake hit.  He was underwater, I didn't know he was there.  And there was this boat.  Just... in the wrong place.  K'Krowl felt the quake and knew what it meant.  He headed inshore and surfaced, and just before the biggest wave hit he picked up the boat.  And held it in his arms.  Except I was coming down on a lateral plasma run, chopping away at the wave.  I'd seen the boat, and they were just... I mean, they weren't gonna live.  I had a massive entrained stream of plasma, steam, and seawater behind me.       "K'Krowl crouched over, and tucked that boat under his chin, and took the wave on his chest and my plasma on his back--I burned him bad, his upper back was just cooked.  But he kept his footing, and protected the people on the boat.  From the tsunami, and from me.  And when it was all over, he put the boat down at the shore, and waved to them, and went back into the water.  He decided he didn't want to attack Tokyo that day after all, and went home to heal.  Hardly anyone saw him except me and the people on the boat.  And with everything going on, no one else knew until the people he saved contacted the Deep Kingdoms embassy, and they ended up with a ceremony, and gave him a medal, and if anyone ever finally resolves the Tokyo Compromise, and turns the attacks into, like, ceremonial visits or something, it'll probably be him."       Flicker shook her head.  "K'Krowl the Younger.  That's a hero.  Not me.  I didn't get hurt, and mostly ran around a lot.  Nothing bad happened to me.  Not bad bad.  Just memories."       *****       Eventually, Flicker realized she'd been staring at the 'Low Situational Awareness' advisory on her visor for a long time, and came back to the present.  There was a text from Stella:  Let me know if and when you're ready to speak aloud.       Flicker focused on the room again.  Stella was frowning thoughtfully, tapping at her computer.       "I'm ready," said Flicker.  "Did you have questions?"       Stella looked up.  "I was a little curious where you got those death numbers.  They don't match the Database, and that's very unusual for you.  The death toll from the tsunami appears to be closer to 1,500, and you can only get close to 2,000 if you also include everyone in the area who was killed by the quake, went missing, or died for any other reason for the next week.  Or use one early, inaccurate media estimate."       She tapped her chin with a finger, still frowning.  "And I don't see any clear evidence to indicate that you were responsible for any excess deaths while mitigating the tsunami.  There were people you didn't save, but that's not remotely the same.  The only way I can get to your estimate of 50 is to take everyone dead or missing who started on a boat in the tsunami region, and everyone missing in the region who started on shore, but who had a boat that also went missing, and assume they were all alive before your intervention, all dead afterwards, and all would have survived if you'd done nothing."       She locked eyes with Flicker.  "There was exactly one boat that definitely had live people on it, was in your path, and could have been destroyed by you while they still had a possibility of surviving.  That was the boat K'Krowl picked up."       "Does it really matter?" said Flicker.       "Yes.  You're guilt-maximizing, and you need to stop.  It's not healthy.  Don't want to be a hero for this?  Fine.  But you helped."       Stella waved a hand.  "I'm not a hero.  I've done far worse things than you.  But I still try to help.  You really didn't want to talk about this and you want to stop, so we'll stop.  Perhaps sometime we can come back and get you a little better perspective.  But not now.  You're in worse shape than I thought."       "Well, I was technically dead for two days last week, so I suppose--"       "Not short term.  Long term.  You're better at compartmentalization, coping, and masking than I expected.  That means you've been better at hiding worse problems.  But it just means more work, for a longer time.  One thing I strongly recommend--no patrols for a while.  No going 'on duty'.  You can intervene in events classified by the Database as 'major disaster' or higher, or a serious threat to someone you know personally.  Otherwise find something else to do.  You need to recover, and not just from being dead."       "But--"       Softly:  "No.  Patrols."       Stella sighed.  "Are you familiar with boiling liquid expanding vapor explosions?"       Flicker blinked at the change of subject, then got the analogy.  "Yeah.  Can't always stop them so sometimes I just rip the tank to control the direction and shape of the explosion.  But I'm not close to blowing up.  I know how to reduce the pressure."       "I understand.  But we need to do some work the slow way--reduce the temperature first.  There are other things that might increase the pressure."       "You want more of a safety margin?"       "Yes.  I am reasonably good at giving advice, but bad at providing comfort," said Stella dryly.  "I'm not neurotypical either, and certain choices and events in my personal development shape my approach.  I have no desire for it to increase your difficulties."       "You seem pretty functional to me.  And--"       Stella shook her head.  "If I weren't able to convincingly project normalcy, I'd already be dead.  But I do have a talent for constructive distractions.  So, why don't we leave off diagnostics and recommendations for a little while and have something to eat instead--I took the precaution of preordering takeout.  Perhaps we can discuss a few things you might find interesting and less stressful."       "I'm not..."  Think, don't just react.  "Okay, that does sound good."       They ate, and talked, and it helped a little.  It was a start.

Next:  Part 12

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Counselling And Therapy For Obsessive Uncontrollable Disorder.

Info For Moms And Dads.

Content

Tourette Ocd F0263 A4 Bw Last Jan13.

How To Aid Your Distressed Youngster.

Exactly How To Deal With A Panic Attack.

Cognitive Behavioral Treatment has considering that been advanced to effectively deal with a variety of various mental wellness conditions consisting of Dependency, Anxiety, Post Traumatic Stress Condition as well as Borderline Individuality Disorder. CBT is a speaking therapy which encourages people to take a look at the means they view the world. This assists them acquire insight right into how they could accidentally be producing problems on their own. By 'reframing' their interpretation of experiences, regardless of how much time earlier, they can-- in the here and now-- change they way they believe, and also subsequently feel, concerning their lives.

Here are five Bay Area mental health startups to watch - San Francisco Business Times - San Francisco Business Times

Here are five Bay Area mental health startups to watch - San Francisco Business Times.

Posted: Fri, 15 Jan 2021 13:00:00 GMT [source]

Utilizing acceptance, dedication, mindfulness abilities and behaviour-change approaches, ACT's focus is to help you approve the facts of life and to approve thoughts wherefore they are-- simply ideas. At its core, ACT is a mindfulness-based treatment with the primary objective of increasing mental flexibility as well as aiding you construct a life that fits in line with your values, and feels authentically you.

Tourette Ocd F0263 A4 Bw Last Jan13.

CBT is based upon the suggestion that that the means we think about circumstances can impact the means we really feel as well as behave. If you translate a situation negatively, then you might experience unfavorable feelings consequently and also these bad feelings might after that lead you to act in specific ways. If your unfavorable analysis of the scenario goes unchallenged, after that these patterns in your ideas, feelings as well as behaviour can enter into a continuous cycle, developing into unfavorable core beliefs, or schemas.

CBT is a form of therapy which takes a psycho-therapeutic strategy to determining and also solving problems related to behavior, useless feelings as well as cognition. The essential principle behind Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is that our idea patterns affect our feelings, which consequently can impact our habits. For example, CBT shows how negative ideas concerning something can result in adverse thoughts as well as activities. With the help of CBT techniques, we can reframe our thoughts in an extra favorable light, which allows us to experience more positive feelings as well as bring upon more helpful habits. Negative thoughts produce unfavorable emotions and render the specific powerless to pull him or herself out of the downward spiral of self destruction.

Exactly How To Assist Your Nervous Kid.

Just the act of doing a 'mind dump' of every little thing that is competing via your mind will reduce stress and also make you feel lighter. In recording Marriage Counselling and sensations on a regular basis, maybe even daily, you can see a pattern in your reasoning which will certainly enable you to comprehend what it is that may be causing your anxiousness. CBT is a prominent and thoroughly-used type of therapy, as a lot of the techniques that are instructed during a CBT session are just as impactful when applied in the absence of a therapist, as in an actual session. This implies that it can be an extremely effective tool to aid soothe anxiety, as an individual is more probable to not be with a specialist when they have an anxiety assault.

Does CBT really work?

CBT is the best-proven form of talk therapy, also called psychotherapy. It sometimes works as well as antidepressant drugs for some types of depression. Some research suggests that people who get CBT may be half as likely as those on medication alone to have depression again within a year.

And as soon as ideas change, practices and also feelings typically do the same. An additional important facet of ACT is the dedication to take action and bring positive changes into your life. ACT therapy will certainly help you get clear on the important things that are essential to you, and also produce a plan that fits in line with your values-- and also ultimately brings even more definition and purpose right into your life. This type of therapy is specifically useful if you have a tendency to avoid or prevent life's issues. That's due to the fact that it urges you to commit to dealing with your problems head-on as well as move closer to difficult feelings, as opposed to trying to pack them away.

Just How To Manage An Anxiety Attack.

If Therapy For Anxiety have problems with, as an example, substance or alcoholic abuse, CBT will certainly take place in the context of also resolving this concern in practical terms. Succeeding approximation is a cognitive behavioral therapy workout that assists individuals tackle challenging or overwhelming goals. This involves taking jobs that seem overwhelming as well as damaging them right into smaller, more attainable steps. Each successive action builds upon the previous actions so you acquire self-confidence as you go, attacked by little bit. When really feeling nervous, you may have unfavorable or concerned thoughts running through your mind, which can be handled by creating them all out, and after that checking out these thoughts seriously.

You learn how to utilize the concepts of CBT on your own in future, to make sure that you can cope with future occasions without needing any more therapy. CBT intends to determine these distortions and also change them with more positive and sensible mind-sets.

Church Leader Jailed For 5 Years For Abusing School Children

At the heart of any kind of CBT method is the idea that perceptions we have of ourselves, other individuals and also the globe, form our practices as well as our feelings. These assumptions-- cognitions-- are believed to come to our conscious minds in the type of photos and thoughts, suggesting that we have the prospective to change them. Cognitive Practices Therapy focusses on relating to you how your ideas, sensations and mindsets influence your sensations, practices as well as ideas concerning yourself. CBT is a joint strategy wherein your discover dealing abilities to manage particular troubles and at a deeper level understand just how your connection to on your own is based on malfunctioning 'schemas', or core beliefs. In the Knowing stage, you and your specialist interact to make certain that the adjustments are long-term.

LeggUP Expands Mental Health Services Through Partnership with Morneau Shepell - PR Web

LeggUP Expands Mental Health Services Through Partnership with Morneau Shepell.

Posted: Tue, 12 Jan 2021 11:06:41 GMT [source]

Depression is a typical psychological or emotional disorder that can have an exceptionally damaging effect on somebody's lifestyle. Nevertheless, with therapy, most people can experience a remarkable renovation in their signs. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is a tried and tested method to this potentially serious condition.

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What Are The Benefits Of Self Self-Confidence?

5 Ideal Trains Of All Time.

Content

What Does A Business Coach Do?

Coaches Aid Set Goals As Well As Hold Business Leaders Responsible.

More Reading On Self Self-Confidence Structure.

Final Ideas On Being A Certain Woman.

Vinyasa + Weight Lifting: Tips From New York Giants' Coach Gwen Lawrence.

Ipec Mentoring.

The majority of the moment, life trainers supply guidance, direction as well as coaching to a private or a group with the objective helpful them improve their lives. Numerous life trains function individually with customers over the phone or in person while others produce courses that they market. Sometimes instructors earn money by the hr as well as various other times by an established program cost.

He's also the editor of The Six Figure Coach Magazine. On Twitter he routinely messages motivational quotes and beneficial guidance for his 23,200 fans. Good business trainers offer their clients. difficulties and this implies pushing the customer out of their comfort zone. A good coach will certainly lay out one difficulty after the other to help the client manage themselves much better and hone their skills so they'll be extra reliable running their company.

What does a business coach offer?

A business coach is a skilled and qualified person with a background in relevant issues who can oversee, assist, and guide an owner/manager in starting, growing and/or developing a business. This helps to keep the business on the track established, continually moving forward to achieve objectives and goals.

You can pick a reputable coach based on their recommendations. Company trains help entrepreneurs, company owner, and professionals expand in a variety of methods. In company, self-confidence is a virtue, as well as Karl Bryan has self-confidence to spare. On his own blog he proudly asserts that all he requires is 5 days and a cell phone to obtain 2 high-end service training customers. This is no idle boast considering he developed LPW, the largest personal neighborhood of company coaches in the world.

Spending time building a strong connection with a client is important for effective as well as efficient coaching, and also it is viewed this way by both coach and also customer alike. On an useful level, this suggests that it is important for instructors to operate in tandem with their clients in a way that is task- or goal-focused. This gives the mentoring conversation a clear direction that is action-oriented, and promotes the strengthening of the connection in between both events. The secret to a rewarding mentoring company is selecting the best clients Do not get involved in the "dealing with" organization of turning losers into champions; it's laborious.

If you're thinking about working with a job coach, remember that not all coaches are what they appear. Although there are several respectable trainers out there who can aid you with an occupation adjustment, interview preparation, resume reword and also extra, job coaching can be swarming with frauds. Several career trainers have little to no experience in the area they assert to be professionals in.

Taking part client-- coach sets were at first chosen through our own networks of experienced as well as qualified exec coaches. Each coach finished an online 'coach survey' and afterwards invited their customers to finish an online 'client study'. Customers then invited their organisational enroller to complete the equal 'sponsor study', where ideal. If you do not already have success in another career, take into consideration becoming a profession therapist instead of a career coach. As opposed to working with people trying to become execs, occupation counselors assist younger people or people who have fallen on hard times and also need assistance getting back on their feet in a brand-new profession.

How does a life coach make money?

Many life coaches work one-on-one with clients over the phone or in person (usually includes weekly sessions) while others create courses that they sell. Some do a combination of both. Sometimes why not do that out get paid by the hour and other times by a set program fee.

It is possible for someone who has underlying concerns to experience success within a mentoring context also if the underlying problems are not resolved. Several coaching customers will certainly look for coaching or mentoring for performance enhancement instead of the rectification of a performance concern. Training & mentoring have actually been shown to be highly successful treatment in these cases.

Because coaching in https://womenwithwingscoaching.com/operational-coaching/ of itself is a heart-centered service, it's easy to check out all elements of the business therefore. However just individuals that are significant about having a life coaching job do well in business.

What Does A Business Coach Do?

You recognize individuals I'm discussing-- they state they want something however do not act to arrive or aren't ready to pay for it. Rather, focus on aiding ambitious individuals that are already effective reach the next degree.

Check into a coach's history and ensure you can talk with previous clients independently prior to giving any type of supposed career coach money. small business coach is to ask your close friends if they have utilized an occupation coach.

Or else, they may not understand what they can. For a business coach to be truly reliable, he or she should establish an atmosphere of depend on as well as respect, security, obstacle, and also responsibility to inspire the customer to act. Leading employees can likewise take advantage of executive coaching.

Coaches Help Establish Objectives And Also Hold Business Leaders Liable.

Finally, we really hope that this article has provided some insight right into the current condition of the coaching career, as well as executive training particularly. Our goal was to sum up the most up to date on mentoring end results study, including our own recent study, which is moving towards a much more conclusive evidence base on the performance of training.

Your life will certainly be less complicated and they will get great results due to the fact that success is in their DNA. As business mentoring industry continues to grow, there will certainly be much more interest to figuring out the value that is being supplied.

Additional Continuing Reading Self Self-Confidence Building.

Specialist Business Coach and 3 year Pinnacle member, Gina has actually aided hundreds over the last decade change their organizations, health, wealth and partnerships. Gina started a health business in 2005 and expanded a million-dollar revenue group from square one. She rose to the leading 5 of 10,000 trainers due to her innovative sales method. She has the ability to get right to the resource of the challenge, lay out a well-founded success method and also maintain our Peak customers on the right track to reach their goals. Coaching and mentoring is generally started on the premise that clients are self-aware and 'whole' and also have picked training or mentoring due to the fact that they do not require a restorative treatment.

Last Thoughts On Being A Positive Lady.

The level to which business trains can show their services translate right into success for their customers, the more they themselves will achieve success. Coaches provide their clients a helpful and inspiring environment to explore what they want in life as well as just how they might attain their desires and also satisfy their demands. By assisting the client in committing to activity and also by being a sounding-board to their experiences, training allows the individual the personal room and support they need to expand and also establish.

Vinyasa + Weight Lifting: Tips From New York City Giants' Coach Gwen Lawrence.

I understood this week something that seems like a genuine "aha" to me-- training is for a team or society that is at the highest degree of Maslow's hierarchy of requirements-- the level of self-actualization.

During your session, you will certainly discover your individual objectives, in addition to style an approach you intend to utilize to attain these objectives.

This trainers you on techniques you can utilize to leave a healthy and also satisfying life.

However, your life coach can educate you the appropriate reaction to setting off discussions.

Use a software application device like CleverMemo where they can share their thoughts and experiences and give them the sensation there's constantly somebody paying attention to them.

He or she obtains you well enough to tackle major difficulties in your life by exploring your mental as well as emotional well-being.

He or she has a professional expertise of your climb and also can help you reach the top.

This might prove to be tough for you if you do not have actually the needed skills.

Ipec Mentoring.

Those who really feel challenged and rewarded are less likely to leave, and also are much more efficient. Staff member retention and also performance are essential elements to business success-- business spend millions every year designing schemes to maintain staff members on side. Often we listen to that possibility for development as well as personal development are two of the biggest factors high entertainers remain where they are. Supplying organization mentoring to high carrying out employees might be a massive motivation.

Another essential predictor of efficient mentoring is the degree to which customers can motivate themselves, their self-efficacy, or if you like, ego toughness or self-confidence. Considering this finding together with the first, it could be recommended that a well-functioning mentoring relationship could also help to spark and also keep a customer's self-motivation with time. Successfully attaining established objectives might certainly improve vanity stamina as well as support energy in the long term. This, in turn, might have a straight bearing on individual as well as career development. The toughness of the coaching relationship or functioning partnership between customer and also coach is one of the most effective predictor of coaching results.

Produce A Favorable Mindset, Enhance Your Behaviors And Relocate Closer To Your Objectives

Is coaching a pyramid scheme?

The coaching community is not broken or some sort of Ponzi scheme. Yes, there are lots of coaches who mentor other coaches (ahem But there are just as many successful people creating amazing programs, books and events for clients they're passionate about who are not coaches at all.

We have likewise suggested that character factors and also personality matching are likely to play a lower function as a forecaster of success in exec training. This is a conclusion sustained by our own empirical study, what our company believe is the biggest international mentoring end result research study to day (see De Haan & Page, 2013a; 2013b).

What questions should I ask an executive coach?

7 Questions To Ask When Selecting An Executive CoachQuestion 2: Why did you become a coach? Question 3: What is your coaching experience? Question 4: What is your coaching specialty or the areas with which you most often work? Question 5: What is your approach or philosophy about coaching? Question 6: What are some coaching success stories? More items

The coach's crucial duty is often is aiding the customer to maintain the inspiration and dedication needed to attain their objectives. The issue that a great deal of instructors encounter is the component that is business related and concern sales, advertising as well as service development.

[fanficnewbie]

“Fighting for Forever” - Chapter Six: Open Heart Fanfic

This is my first story/series. The first 5 chapters are adaptations from the first 4 parts of “A Weekend with Dr. Ramsey” series with permission from @alwaysmychoices and then I continue my own original work in chapters 6-14.

I start this adapted storyline during Chapter 15 of the original OH series. There is a bit of AU, where I play around with the storyline a bit and insert two days between MC leaving the country club and returning to her apartment to find Landry packing. Some situations have been changed to keep with the original vision of @alwaysmychoices and make the story work in the direction I wanted it to go. However, I find my way back to the original in Chapters 6-8 and then move on past the ending of Book One during chapters 9-14.

My MC is female, Francesca Houseman, who has only had eyes for Ethan Ramsey from day one.

FULL SERIES

Chapter Six: “Diagnosis” 

2728 words

This entry retells the story of how MC diagnoses Naveen and how she gets the help she needs to figure out a plan for treatment.

(M - Language)

Francesca watched as Ethan and Jenner walked away and her stomach lurched at the metaphor their physical departure represented. She quickly pushed those thoughts away and went into her building. It had been an exciting and illuminating 36 hours but now life had to return to normal, her friends were waiting.

Francesca opened the door and was startled to see Landry in the living room packing boxes. “What are you doing here?!” Her perfect morning instantly dissipated.

Landry looked just as shocked to see her as she was to see him. “Getting the rest of my things. I said I’d pack up today while you guys were at brunch. It was in my email. I didn’t think anyone else would be here.”

Knowing that she hadn’t paid much attention to her phone over the past two days did not win Landry any sympathy points. “Yeah well, my plans changed,” she mumbled, “Do what you have to do, I’ll be gone again in 15 minutes.”

Francesca tried not to look at him as she went to her room. She managed to look somewhat presentable for her outing after changing clothes, styling her hair and putting on a touch of make-up, in a record amount of time. Upon re-entering the living room, she noticed Landry struggling with a box. As much as she wanted to walk right past him and leave him to suffer, it just wasn’t her style. Instead, she sighed, put her purse down and went to help.

“It won’t work like that, here.” She took a box and repacked the items to make them fit like a jigsaw puzzle. Landry looked unconvinced, “I see what you did there, but what about the weight distribution?”

He had a point. They both worked on adjusting the items in the box in silence until finally it was packed correctly and taped shut. Francesca grabbed her things to head out the door, already much later than she planned to be, when Landry stopped her.

“You know, I always thought Aurora was the real threat, but I should’ve realized it was always going to come down to the two of us.”

She turned, trying to figure out the point of his words, refusing to allow him to justify his actions, “Maybe. But it didn’t have to ruin our friendship. We could have helped each other.”

Landry looked resigned. “I wish that were the case, I do. But we both have the exact same career goal. There was only ever going to be room for one of us at Edenbrook. And until one of us won, it was always going to turn out like this. It was always going to tear everything apart.”

His words sank in, the tragic truth cutting her to the core as she turned her back on him to leave, but then, something started to dawn. “Until one of them won.” An idea began to take shape as she instinctively connected the dots to her other cases. Until one of them won, like Jake Sandburg, the baseball player with the drug interaction that amplified in his system. Until one of them won, like the young boy with the bad bacteria in his gut wreaking havoc and making him sick. Francesca’s eyes widened with the realization, the picture formed and the answer hit her like a slap in the face.

Landry watched her standing there with her hand on the doorknob, frozen in thought, “What’s wrong with you?”

She spun around as her hands flew to her mouth – her amazement evident. “Holy fuck, you just helped me figure it out!”

Startled, Landry was also completely confused. “Figure what out?”

Francesca dropped to her knees and started opening the boxes he had just packed. Landry was incredulous, “Whoa, what are you doing?” She found the medical textbook she was looking for and started flipping through the pages.

The words poured out like a flood, her heart raced with the realization. “Dr. Banjeri, I know what’s wrong with him! It’s just like Jake Sandburg and this kid I had as a patient. Two factors causing a reaction. We were looking for the disease but the disease is really just a symptom!”

Shaking his head Landry struggled to comprehend. “What are you talking about?”

Francesca found the page she was looking for and quickly started scanning the text. She continued, “I think he’s is suffering from two ailments that are fighting each other to win total domination. Potentially a bacterial infection like that kid and a, and a…” she found the section she’d been looking for, “…a bacteriophage. Yes! Those would explain his sepsis, it’s basically a side effect!”

Landry sank to the floor and reached for another textbook as he processed her words. “So wait, you’re saying that the infection and the phage are attacking each other?” He opened a book to find his own evidence, “Then why hasn’t one won out yet?”

She rocked back on her heels, still trying to put it all together. “Theoretically, if both had strong defenses and a large enough population, they could keep the fight even, both sides growing.” She shook her head at the epiphany. “Dr. Banjeri is a victim of collateral damage.” 

Landry started to comprehend, “So his body is the battleground and his sepsis is just his immune system reacting to what’s going on?”

“Exactly, but we need to run tests and see what strain of bacteria he has. That way we can wipe it out before his immune system kills him trying to do the same.” She paused, whispering almost to herself, “We can save him.” The idea floored her.

Francesca looked up at Landry, although it killed her, she knew she was going to need his assistance. “Look, I get that we’re not in a good place right now, but I need your help. I don’t have a car and I can’t go to the hospital and get the equipment we need, but you can. If you get the supplies and take me to Dr. Banjeri’s house, we have a chance.”

Landry looked at her quizzically. “Why would you ask me? Why not the others or even Dr. Ramsey? We both know he’d do anything to save Dr. Banjeri.”

“The others aren’t here and I don’t have the time to gather them up and explain what’s going on just so they can do in an hour what we can do right now. As for Dr. Ramsey…” She stopped, remembering the sadness on his face the previous day, his hand squeezing hers for strength just to get out of the car and face Naveen. “I don’t want to involve him until I’m sure I’m right. I don’t want to get his hopes up for nothing.” She looked Landry in the eyes, her ego cast aside and implored him, “Please help me.”

Landry took a breath, “So you’re asking me to help you save the life of the preeminent diagnostician in the country?”

She nodded. 

“And you somehow think that I’d say ‘no’?” He stood with the textbook and grabbed his keys, “Let’s go.”

The two of them were at the hospital in a matter of minutes, Francesca waited in the car, her stomach a tangle of knots and anxiety. It all made sense but what if it was still wrong? Worse, what if it was too late? Needing to focus on something tangible, she grabbed her phone and pulled up the memory in her GPS. She was thankful that Ethan had her navigate to Naveen’s house the day before, even though halfway there it occurred to her that he had to already know the way. It didn’t matter, now she could get there on her own. Now she could possibly save Naveen, and by extension, Ethan. The thought made her heart thump.

Landry startled her when he jumped back in the car, gear in hand, she grabbed her seat-belt, “That was quick.” 

He started the ignition and shrugged, “We both know we don’t have time to lose.”

She gave him the address and watched as he entered it into his own GPS, it said they’d be there in about an hour. She settled in for a long and awkward ride.

Five minutes later Francesca’s phone started to ding incessantly. She yelped, “Oh no, the brunch!” Her friends were pretty pissed. She read through multiple texts where they complained that she disappeared again and that she’s started to worry them.

Francesca responded to the group chat, talking out loud as she typed, “So, so sorry. Dealing with an emergency, I’m okay. Will explain tonight.” She sighed as she realized that she would have a lot of explaining to do when this was over.

Landry looked straight ahead, “Must be nice to be so cared for. Just don’t piss them off, they’ll all turn on you on a dime.”

Francesca snorted, “Well since I have no plans to betray anyone anytime soon, I think I’ll be okay.”

“I didn’t betray you, I followed my conscience.”

“Okay Landry, you did what you had to do. Whatever. It doesn’t matter. This, right now, it’s all that matters.”

“But, what about your hearing tomorrow?”

Francesca sighed and remembered that Ethan had given her specific instructions to prepare, but there just wasn’t time to do it all. What was the point of her medical license without Dr. Ramsey or Dr. Banjeri anyway? Suddenly it all seemed rather insignificant compared to what was happening at the moment. She shrugged and responded, “I’ll cross that bridge tomorrow.”

Then she turned on the radio and effectively silenced the conversation for the rest of the ride.

When they arrived at the river house, it almost seemed deserted. Landry turned, “You sure this is the right place?” Francesca hopped out of the car, “Of course, I was just here yesterday.”

Landry glared and she realized that she never told him how she had Dr. Banjeri’s address to begin with. Francesca met his harsh gaze defiantly, “It doesn’t matter Landry. We’re here to help him.”

Landry slowly nodded while he grabbed the equipment. Francesca ran to the door and started knocking, calling Naveen’s name. When he didn’t answer after a few minutes, she remembered the dock. “Of course, follow me.” She led Landry around the backside of the house and spotted Naveen, in a comfortable chair beside the water, a canvas resting on an easel in front of him.

She ran down to greet him, “Dr, Banjeri!”. He turned and smiled, slowly standing up when they reached him. “Francesca, what an amazing surprise.” He noticed Landry, “...and who is this?”

Landry awkwardly held the equipment and tried to shake Dr. Banjeri’s hand, “Nice to meet you Dr. Banjeri.”

“Well as I told Francesca yesterday, I’m retired, so you can call me Naveen.” He turned back to her. “What’s going on? Is everything okay with Ethan?” Francesca blushed a bit, “He’s fine. I’m here for you. I think I figured out why you’re sick and Dr. Olsen is here to help me.”

Dr. Banjeri sat back down while Francesca quickly explained her theory. He nodded thoughtfully as he listened. “Intriguing and very clever, I have to admit, I never thought of it.”

He looked to Landry and it seemed to suddenly dawn on him why he was carrying all of the medical equipment.

“You want to test me, here, now?” 

Francesca nodded, “Yes, I know you don’t want to be in the hospital so I figured this was the best way.”

Dr. Banjeri smiled, “A great doctor understands and respects their patient, and those two factors can save lives.” He chuckled, “Plus I didn’t have any other plans for this afternoon.” He stood back up with some effort, grabbed his cane and led the interns to his home.

With Naveen resting on the couch, Francesca and Landry drew the sample and fed it into the molecular analysis machine. Francesca’s stomach twisted tight waiting for the answers, she barely registered Landry quizzing the elder doctor on his career until the results came through.

The flood of relief that hit Francesca’s system was immediate. “We were right! There’s both a bacteria and a phage in your system. The phage is c2 and the bacteria is Acinetobacter baumanni.”

Naveen chuckled, “How fitting.” His tone started to deflate Francesca’s excitement as he continued, “A. baumanni is a superbug found only in hospitals, it’s resistant to antibiotics… It seems I have, quite literally, worked myself to death. I thank you for finding the truth. I can die with one of my life’s greatest mysteries solved at last. But I will still die, there is no antibiotic that works on that infection.”

Francesca only half-listened to his interpretation of the results, her mind raced as she tried to find a rebuttal. There was no way she’s going to come this close, only to hit a dead end.

“What if, what if… what if we tipped the scales? So far, it’s been an even fight but what if we gave the phage the advantage, then it could kill the bacteria!”

Naveen worked it out for himself, “Theoretically if you injected me with a massive dose of the phage, then yes it would wipe out the bacteria…”

Landry interjected, “…but it would exacerbate the encephalitis, your brain will swell and that will kill you!”

Dr. Banjeri threw up his hands, “Well at this point I’m going to die of something, and soon.”

Francesca started pacing the room, her mind still in warp speed, “Yes, if we get the dosage wrong it’s lethal. But if we got it just right, we should have a small window of time, just enough time to cure the phage before it actually does kill him.”

Landry balked, “Do you have any idea how risky that is? Getting the dosage right would be a pure gamble. We’re not experts in that field and I’m sorry Dr. Banjeri, but neither are you.”

Naveen smiled and looked at Francesca, “No, but we know someone who is.”

Francesca stopped pacing and looked at Naveen and Landry, another plan formed quickly in her head with just one more obstacle in her way.

She fell to her knees in front of Dr. Banjeri, her eyes entreating him to listen to her. “Naveen, we need to get you back to Edenbrook. I think I understand why you left but this time it’ll be different. It’s no longer the places for tests and failed treatments. It’s now the place where we can cure you.”

Naveen leaned back, closing his eyes for a moment. He opened them and sighed, “The one place I never wanted to die was in a hospital. It’s a promise I made to myself long ago. It’s why I came here, I wanted the comforts of home, the beauty of nature. Not hospital beds and machines.”

Francesca touched his knee gently, “Then how about we make a pact that you won’t die there? I’ll go get Dr. Ramsey, Landry will help you pack some things and drive you to Edenbrook. We’ll meet you there in a couple of hours with the phage, we’ll save your life and then you can come back home to finish your paintings and read your books.”

She could tell that he wanted to say yes but something was holding him back…“Please Naveen, for Ethan.” 

Banjeri looked into her imploring eyes and suddenly realized that if he lived, he would have the chance to see Ethan and Francesca create a life together. He’d be able to see their story unfold after all. The thing he mourned losing just yesterday was now within reach and that spark was enough to conquer his deepest fear, to push him back towards choosing life.

He clasped her hands in his, “For both of you. For both of you, I’ll go.”

Francesca held back a smile at the insinuation and jumped up excitedly. “Landry, I need your car keys. I’ll leave now and go get Dr. Ramsey, you help Dr. Banjeri pack and take his car to Edenbrook. Text me when you leave here, I’ll text you when I get to Ethan’s.”

She didn’t even bother correcting herself when she said Ethan’s name. Landry either didn’t notice the informality or no longer cared, he just tossed her his keys and went to help up Dr. Banjeri as she exited the room.

CHAPTER SEVEN

[postmodernmulticoloredcloak]

What is John and why his return?

As for how John comes back, let’s just say things get weird — don’t they always? — and there’s an altered reality at play. “Our guys are put in a position where they essentially can have a wish granted,” Dabb says. “They’re actually expecting something else, but [John’s return] comes from a place of want by Dean. The need for closure is really what brings John back into their lives.”

While we don’t know the details of the events that lead to John’s return, we can imagine that there’s something in play that is, at least theoretically, on the lines of the premise of the Djinn’s incident in 2x20: back then, Dean had wished for Mary to be alive and their lives to be free of the monsters and supernatural forces that plagued them; now, he apparently wishes - maybe not even fully realizing he’s doing so - for John to be alive, possibly to have some kind of “cathartic” confrontation with him. (13x04 is central in this.)

Of course, as 2x20 dramatically showed us and Dean, wishes are double-edged swords, and you just can’t bend reality like that (a normal Djinn just factually can’t, time travel can’t, Michael-powered Djinns might create “real” projections but the scope of that effect is still limited to “fake” copies made of ash...) and even if you could, you can’t really get what you want without paying some sort of price. In the Djinn-induced hallucination, Dean had the things he had wished for... but other things just fell apart, like his relationship with Sam, his own role in the world, and so on. This time (whatever the cause of the reality bend is) Dean will figure out that having John back means a ripple effect that includes that Cas is taken away from him, or better he was never with him in the first place.

(It’s early to be sure of what the spoilers really mean, but from what we know, there seems to be a considerable chance that the narrative will present Dean with a choice: keep John and lose Cas, or let John go and keep Cas. Basically, John or Cas. Past or future. What John represents and what Cas represents. Are you excited? Because I am...)

But let’s go back to John. Why does it matter that he returns? What could a confrontation with John mean?

I’m seeing people talking about whether Dean and Sam should be “forgiving” John, but personally I don’t think that’s exactly the point on the question. I don’t expect the narrative to be about them “forgiving” John or not, rather I expect more of a “you’re dead, you’re gone, we’re our own people now” kind of situation. Basically, John alive is a tool to bury John once and for all - a cognitive step in fully acknowledging John as dead.

Several meta writers have been referring to the theme of John’s “presence” in their lives as “the ghost of John Winchester”, and the show also has made literal ghosts as mirrors for John and his effect of his sons. I think that’s a very valid interpretative lens: John Winchester is dead but his ghost - the lasting effects of his treatment of his sons and the traumatic repercussions in their psyches - lingers on, and needs to be put to rest if Dean and Sam want to reach a place where they’re at peace with their past.

Mind: I am not talking about fixing trauma and magically making it disappear. That’s something meta writers who have dealt with this kind of topic have been accused of -- that we supposedly want Dean’s and Sam’s trauma to be magically erased through some kind of resolution process that frees them of what is essentially a component of their personality and personal history. I know that’s not how trauma works -- I am talking about arriving to a place of understanding, acceptance and healing. Healing as in a realistic process of coming to terms with your trauma and dealing with it in a way that works for you as a person, not as in wave-magic-wand-and-poof. I don’t want a part of what makes Dean or Sam what they are to be thrown out of the window, either.

This said, let’s go back to the ghost of John Winchester. I think that the point of his return isn’t strictly to let Dean or Sam have a “confrontation” with him (of course that’s going to happen otherwise there would be no point to the whole thing, but the confrontation isn’t the goal itself) but to put the ghost out. To accept that John is dead in a profound, symbolical way: in the sense that what John represents is a closed chapter of their lives, or better, that they can consider it a closed chapter of their lives, that is there - like a past chapter is still in the book - but that doesn’t have to affect how the next chapter is going to be written. That they’re writing the story.

(Eventually, we always go back to the same thematic point: Dean and Sam as authors of their own story, not John, not God. Dabb hasn’t been able to kill God in the story -- although I suspect that he might try to get that by the time the show ends -- but he can bring back and re-kill what at the end of the day God is just a mirror for, i.e. John. Chuck is no longer writing, but the fans are; Dad’s journal is just a thing that might come in handy occasionally, but largely dated.)

Dean and Sam are now adults who are writing their own story -- they’re making their own choices, shaping their own path, and ultimately John... doesn’t matter. Even Mary is building a whole new John-less life -- and Mary is a blatant mirror for Dean in this sense. Dean, symbolically the wife of John after Mary’s death (please note the symbolical part, just in case), needs to let go of the widow role and build his life again in a healthy matter that can bring him happiness. Mary and Bobby have been almost comically presented as Dean and Cas parallels, and I’m not saying anything new here.

So, basically, I think that, through meeting John as a living person (in a situation that feels ‘wrong’ because of reasons), they’re going to genuinely accept that John isn’t a living person, if it makes sense. Of course they have processed his death in these twelve years, but the person John simply represents John’s upbringing, which means the trauma it caused them.

The patients of the grief counselor faced their grief by meeting “alternate reality versions” of their lost ones (in that case it was a shapeshifter taking their appearance but it’s not really relevant how that happened, just their emotional reaction to it) and that was a step towards accepting that their lost ones were gone, and they could reach an emotional place where they were at peace with the loss.

As I mentioned before, Dean and Sam have to accept that John is dead in the sense that they have to reach an emotional place where they’re at peace with what they are, where they come from and where they’re headed.

So, if John represents the trauma of their upbringing, and the “ghost” of John is the ways the trauma still shapes who they are and how they approach themselves, each other, others, relationships, the world in general -- confronting it, seeing it in a new light (the light of now, the persons they are now, the experiences they’ve had), will help them realize the distance that can be, that they can put, between John -- between their “John selves” so to speak -- and their current selves.

John’s return happens now because now they can see him in a particular light that they didn’t really have before. They are parents now. They have embraced the role of fathers to a child. They know what it means to be a father now. They have recently stated out loud that Jack is their kid and they’re parents to him. They are emotionally ready and invested to this role, and Dean especially has completed the journey from rejection of this new parental role to full acceptance. (Of course, Dean was the one that had reasons for which rejecting to be thrust upon a child to raise was an actual healthy choice, and a healthy foundation to build a positive parent-child relationship.)

Now Dean and Sam can look at John and say, there was another way all along. Dean and Sam are also traumatized, they have also lost so much; but they haven’t used it as an excuse to abuse Jack (again, Dean’s initial negative treatment of Jack was intentionally not in the context of a parental relationship). If John acted as a drill sergeant to toughen his sons up -- Jack literally fought a war in an apocalypse landscape without a parent acting as his drill sergeant. If John isolated them because he had realized that there was something supernaturally suspicious about Sam -- Jack is literally the devil’s spawn.

Dean’s case is interesting because he, so to speak, experimented different approaches towards Jack, including a performative* John-like behavior (*see this post for my interpretation of the scenes in 13x04), and of course he also has a previous chosen parental experience with Ben, so we could say that he has a rich history of putting himself in certain roles/dynamics and reflecting over them. We could even add how Dean himself drew comparisons between Cas’ complicated experiences with Claire a few years ago and his own experiences with John.

Basically, Dean has done a lot of reflecting about parenting -- John’s parenting and his own dabbles in it. And now he’s arrived at a point where he’s fully embraced the role of father to a child that, with all due differences, isn’t really less complicated to deal with than Sam was.

You could argue that Dean isn’t raising Jack alone. It’s Dean, Sam, Cas, and then there’s Bobby, Mary, other hunters, other people who are part of their extended family. John, on the other hand, raised Dean and Sam alone, so it was inevitably more difficult. But it didn’t have to be. Remember the first seasons where Dean and Sam comment on how they keep crossing path with people who used to be close to John, but then John managed to piss off and ruin his relationship with all of them? John did have people, but he isolated himself and his sons from them. Dean and Sam, on the other hand, have built a wonderful net of genuine, positive connections (especially “adopts everyone he meets as some kind of family member” Dean). One can also argue that John didn’t even really raise Sam, not in the concrete daily dynamics of a family life, because he relegated Dean to that -- which also means he didn’t raise Dean, not in the real parental meaning of the concept. Drill sergeant instead of parent, at John’s own admission, after all...

So, like I mentioned, now Dean can look at John and say, I know now. I know it didn’t have to be like that. I know that those excuses -- excuses I gave myself for you, excuses I believed for so long -- were just excuses. I understand and empathize with you, but I see now. I am no longer a kid, I am a grown man, and I am a father, an actual father of adult age to a kid. I know now. And I choose my own way, a way that I know I can follow. I see I am able to. I don’t need to cling to the idea of you, I have no use for the idea of you anymore. I don’t have to measure up with you to model myself into a man, because I am one. I have arrived where you also were, and I am doing it my own way -- better.

This is the closure Dean needs. To face his father as an equal.

And this is why John is returning at this point of the story -- because Dean can face him as an equal.

[bubypjm]

why bighit is trash

or, alternatively, a list of things that bighit, an entertainment company/music label, should start doing and stop acting like a small company.

im puting everything under a read more bcos its a lot, for one, and im also sure that not everyone wants to read it or cares lmao

a little disclaimer;  i speculate and connect things based off of the things we are shown/told, i will spoil some parts of their recent movie AND its not bighit-positive, obviously

okay to start this off, bighit released an official statement to say that bts will be going “on an official and extended period of rest and relaxation” and that’s honestly one of the best things that bighit has done for bts.

the statement is linked, but since i will be referring to a fair few points on it i will also attach it here

the issues start with the opening sentence.

“for the first time since their debut” bts will be going on an official and extended period of rest. to rephrase, for the first time in 6 years, the 7 men of bts will not be surrounded by cameras, will not be expected to attend any rehearsals or interviews and will not be expected to produce or write lyrics. they will not have any responsibilities tied to their work. or, that is what we all had assumed, but as we now know the members were expected to film content on what they do during their break and, if jungkooks video is anything to go by, they were also expected to edit and send it in to the company for “review”.

judging by the release/filming of Hoseok & Becky G’s CNS, it seems like their “break” does not include solo activities. or does bighit consider the building of ones own reputation as an individual artist an “extra” and not a part of ones work?

“enjoy the ordinary lives of people in their 20s, albeit briefly”

this just hurts. it was bighits responsibility to make sure that they got more chances to enjoy their lives.

the good

bighit reminding uglies to stay the fuck away from them during their short break.

okay, the statement aside, i want to talk about a few other bighit-bts related things.

bighit staff and sasaengs

- stalkers appearing in hoseoks bday vlive (no its not staff, the girls’ accounts were found on instagram. they were quite pleased with themselves) were was the security ? how did the girls know which room the boys were in ? doesn’t bighit rent out the entire hotel floor ? does that mean they were allowed in ? why ? did they pay ? do their parents have connections bighit could use ?

- giving away members clothes, providing concert entrance, giving away members numbers ect

the thing that occurred during hoseoks vlive was not looked into, as far as i am aware, however Jimin’s Gucci concert shirt being 'lent’ to a stalker was.

However, minimum to little effort was put into the case because no staff was fired, no disciplinary measures were taken and no consequences occurred.

- during either DNA or Fake Love comeback stages on music shows, some armys were not permitted entrance and some privileged people were taken backstage to meet the members (which is NOT allowed, at any point. those are PRIVATE areas for the idols to rest and prep for the stage) source 1 & more if you look around.

- not firing a manager that hit jungkook source (some speculate he was fired, others speculate he was removed from being a manager and took another position within bighit.)

- bighit restricting any and all interactions with the members among staff. according to one of the backup dancers during Not Today and/or Singularity, bighit staff was very strict about NOT speaking with the members.

take the last point as you will. I have my own thoughts about it

- no subs on army kit content, no subs for bangtan bombs (other channels have them. bighit claims themselves to be a global company but doesn’t move as such). its all well and good to say “you’re stanning a korean company, learn korean!” and this may work for bangtan bombs, but what about army kit content? why isn’t that subtitled? or should that be dismissed with “you don’t have to buy it”?

the good

- giving bts a private jet and not making them go through public entrances and exits. thank u bighit

the movie

this will contain spoilers.

- big hit staff filmed the members during their vulnerable moments.

jungkook nearly passing out, filmed and slotted into the movie. the members crying and clearly feeling emotionally vulnerable ? recorded and snipped into the movie. this would’ve been fine if the members were fine with it, but jungkook was clearly trying to hide his face from the camera and jimin expressed not wanting to show himself in bad conditions.

- treatment of bighit staff

we all know that jungkook had to sit out during some stages during the love-yourself tour. what we didn’t know was that he got stitches without any medication that would ease his pain because he had to go on stage.

jungkook hurt himself so badly that he needed stitches, but was not allowed anything to subdue the pain while getting the stitches because it would not make him stage-ready. the staff members watched as he screamed while getting stitches.

now, i don’t really care whether it was jungkook’s decision or not. nobody in their right mind would let someone they care about go through with something like that. there will be other stages, there will be other concerts. however, idk why i find this surprising since jungkook was hit by a staff member before and the only reason why he got fired was bcos it was spotted in the bg of a bangtan bomb and armys demanded for the man to be fired.

- secondly, jimin’s neck and dropping out of the graham norton show.

i cannot find the translation rn, but while deciding what to tell the fans with regards to what happened to jimin and why he isn’t able to perform with the rest, namjoon tries to opt for telling the truth in a gentle way while one of the staff members suggests a white lie as to not worry the fans.

this has also happened before with the korean vs english statement regarding jungkook’s heal injury. the korean explanation stated that it was serious, while the english one explained it more casually. i cannot find the sources currently, but if you look around yourself you can find them. 

bighit.

- keeping supreme boi employed

- forcing jimin and jin to sing in female key in fake love, despite both of them expressing their struggle with reaching such high notes.

- not providing a vocal coach while on tour (jimin had to ask jungkook for advice)

- vocal line still have not got their own studios despite expressing their want for it, yet txt members have their own studios already. source

- members having less and less influence over the groups music. even recently yoongi mentioned that the songs he makes don’t match with bts’ music/style anymore source

- bighit being immensely difficult to work with overseas (strict venue rules regarding staff, changing things last minute, not being time-efficient)

- leaving taehyung’s stage name out of promotional works/promo tweets

- not taking action against death threats made against taehyung

- forcing jimin to speak about his death threats during a live, global interview in korea

- not cleaning up the copyright matter over using michael jackson’s song “black or white” in the festa performance of jimin and jungkook - resulted in their performance being taken down 

- no bangtan bomb behind jimin creating his song “promise”, while recently there have been videos released of jins, jungkooks and taehyung’s solos

- bighit shooting down collaborations and picking and chosing the artists that collab with bts, despite the members wanting and expressing interesting in collaborations with said artist (why did we get a chainsmokers collab before a tinashe one? a khalid one?)

- bighits deal with dispatch. dispatch is known for exposing scandals and relationships among idols, so the fact that they get an exclusive peak into the bangtan life is interesting and rather worrisome.

-however, one of the dirtiest moves that bighit pulled was during the break between DNA and Fake Love. as we know now, that time was very hard for the members. it was in that gap that the members spoke of disbanding, there were rumours/concerns about jungkook’s well being and fans also pointed out taehyung’s odd state.

during this time, instead of allowing the members time and space to decide everything, bighit had applied for the legal copyright regarding everything bts. the group name was copyrighted, as were the members stage names, fandom name among other things (there are articles on naver, if you’re interested).

SPECULATION

i just want to stress that these are my thoughts and you are welcome to disagree and have your own opinions.

Although we know that the members have re-signed the contract with bighit for another 7 years, I do believe that their pens were pushed by bighit’s copyrighting run. the members had 2 choices; either bind yourself to another contract and stay with that which you have built for years, or drop everything and start anew. however, something tells me that bts didn’t sign the contract with no leverage.

namjoon had said previously that although the group started with 7 boys with the same goal, it now consists of 7 men on one boat, each with their eyes set on different horizons. i believe that with namjoon’s collaborations with more and more overseas artists (honne, fall out boy, lil nas x ect), he may have gotten himself more opportunities for solo work.

similar could be said about yoongi. the man is a musical genius and with his production of suran’s wine and heize’s we dont talk together, yoongi may also end up branching in that direction.

taehyung has expressed his interest in fashion and photography a lot over the past years. seokjin has not acted at all in his life, despite starting off to do just that. hoseok began to branch out with CNS but jimin and jungkook have seemingly little to no outside projects, either (though you could count wiom for jungkook)

the boys’ previous contract was, clearly, restricting and very demanding. i think that their new contract allows them a lot more freedom and room to establish a reputation as individuals. that isn’t to say, however, that bighit let the boys end bts as a whole and permitted them to go off and start solo careers.

from what is happening now and what has happened in the past, I do not believe that bighit would let bts disband, you can decide if that is for better or for worse. however, the only way to keep bts together and satisfied, is to give room for the members to do that what they want. i think that we may start to see some more solo projects from the members, and a lot more control and influence from the outside over bts’ music, concepts and management. ever since LY: Tear had been released, i find myself thinking that their next release will be the last one before a mass hiatus due to enlisting. this time, however, i feel like it may be their final release and concert tour before the group steps back for a while.  bighit debuted a new group and is pumping a lot of money into it. they had also recently obtained an entire new company that not only has a lot of trainees of its own, but also manages Gfriend - an already debuted and established group. bighit is no longer the little underground company that relied on 7 boys to bring it out of its debts. however, it will not let its biggest source of income fall away because, at the end of the day, bighit is a company. the most likely scenario, to me, is that once seokjin and/or others enlist, bts as ot7 will go on a break, but bighit will still get to cash in through the boys’ solo work. so, we may see sneak peaks of their solo careers here and there, but bts will remain active as 7 until it can’t no more.

[voltron-s7-8-rewrite]

Know Your Enemy

This is part of my Voltron Season 7 & 8 re-write. If you are interested start HERE

PREVIOUS

As the Paladins approach Earth, Pidge continues to try to make contact. Sam finally responds and warns them not to bring the Lions, as that’s what Sendak is after. He says they can’t afford to lose the element of surprise now that they are here. The Paladins agree, and hold back.

While deciding how to get to Earth without the Lions, Galran fighters spot them and begin attacking. Keith orders Pidge to block their signals, so they don’t alert Sendak.

As the Paladins rush to quickly take the fighters out, Pidge has the idea to use one of the fighters for transport, Keith agrees and orders them to capture one.

Managing to disable one, without destroying it, the Paladins leave the Lions on Saturn, and take the fighter, sneaking through Sendak’s forces.

                                       ____________________

Landing on Earth, the Paladins come to the ruins of Plaht City, and are in shock over the devastation. As they make their way through the decimated city, they are spotted by Galran drones.

Krolia and Shiro defend Romelle and Coran, while Hunk, Pidge, and Allura work together to take several out several more.

Keith and Lance get pinned down by several of them, and Keith tells Lance he’ll get their attention. Lance says he’s got his back, and with that affirmation, Keith runs out in the open. The drones quickly target him, but Lance is faster. He shoots them with his bayard, and with that the drones are all down.

Keith wonders how many more there might be, and asks Pidge to see if she can check. She is able to connect with the drones systems, and finds that more are one their way. However, before those drones even reach them, Galra sentries begins firing on the group.

The Paladins prepare to fight when Garrison vehicles show up, running down several of the sentries. Griffin and Rizavi get out shoot the rest of the sentries and drones.

The Paladins go to thank them for the help, when Griffin begins reprimanding them for attacking, telling them that the drones send distress signals when attacked. Before he continues further, he and Rizavi see Krolia come out, and are instantly on edge. The Paladins assure them that she is a Blade and is on their side. The two look unconvinced, but agree it’s better to talk about this at the Garrison.

                                      ____________________

Pulling up to the Garrison, Pidge sees her her mother and father waiting there, alive and well. Unable to wait a moment longer, she leaps from the car as soon as possible into her parent’s waiting arms.

Watching her joyful reunion, Lance hears his name called and turns to find his family. He jumps out of the car, running and embracing them. After all this time, they are reunited.

Looking around, Lance notices that his father and brother, Marco, are missing. He asks where they are, and his mother mournfully tells him that they didn’t make it. Unable to stop the tears, Lance clings tighter to his surviving family, as they grieve for those who were lost.

At the same time Hunk looks around for his family, but doesn’t see them amongst the crowd of humans. Sam approaches, and Hunk asks him where they are. Sam regretfully tells him that they were unable to bring them to the Garrison before the Galra attacked, and that his parents were captured. He lets Hunk know that they know they are alive, and where they are being held, but they can’t do anything for them at the moment. Hunk is distraught over this information, and Pidge comes up, hugging him as Sam also tries to offer him comfort.

At the other vehicle where the others were riding, Iverson approaches Shiro and apologizes for the rough treatment he received when he first returned to Earth. Shiro holds no hard feelings, understanding protocol and the desire to protect Earth. The two shake hands, and Shiro introduces him to Princess Allura, Romelle, and Coran.

Keith then approaches, and he and Iverson also make amends for their rough history, shaking hands in solidarity. Iverson takes an interest in Kosmo, and Coran tells him about the Cosmic Wolf as Keith notices Griffin watching. The two pause to stare each other down, their bad history still there. Keith considers the MFE Pilot as he turns and leaves without a word.

It’s then that Krolia steps out of the vehicle they came in. The large crowd of humans freeze in shock, before Garrison officers draw their weapons on her. Krolia raises her hands in surrender, and Keith runs in front of her, telling them to stop; that she’s with them and is his mother, stunning the humans.

Despite Keith’s proclamation, the Garrison officers don’t back down, so Romelle puts herself in front of Krolia and Keith. Reaffirming that Krolia is on their side, she states that they saved her and if there’s a problem with them, then they should have a problem with her. Shiro, Allura, and the other paladins quickly join Romelle in standing protectively in front of Keith and Krolia.

Seeing this, Pidge’s parents and Lance’s family join their children without hesitation. As the Paladins and their families stand there against the Garrison, the message is made; Voltron  will protect their own.

Sanda, having been watching from the side, finally steps up and orders the weapons to be put away. With her orders made, the soldiers obey. She then turns to the Paladins and says there is a lot they need to talk about.

                                      ____________________

After heading inside, and catching their breath, Iverson takes Shiro aside and informs him of Adam’s death.

Looking at Adam’s memorial plaque, Shiro regrets the way they parted and Iverson tries to offer him some reassurance. Telling him how many lives Adam and the other pilot saved by going out and fighting.

Shiro quietly thanks him, but no matter what words are said, the wound is too fresh and there is no comfort to be found.

                                      ____________________

After allowing everyone to gather their bearings, The Garrison and Paladins come together to debrief everything that has happened on both sides.

Listing to Sam share about the state of Earth, and what Sendak’s currant forces have been up to, The Paladins inquire about any attempts to fight back. Veronica informs them that while there are some resistance forces out there, they haven’t been able to do much. Earth just doesn’t have the resources.

Hunk questions why there aren’t any rescue ops happening, and Sam explains they tried, but they became too risky. Distressed over his family's situation, Hunk tries to argue for something to be done. Griffin, unimpressed by the lack of military composure the Paladin’s have shown, tells him that he needs to listen to their CO.

The Paladins take offence to Griffin’s attitude towards Hunk, and affirm that they aren’t Garrison and Sam’s not their CO. The MFE Pilots back their leader and argue that they have been fighting this battle on Earth for years; things have to be done according to Earth’s ways, not Voltrons. The two sides get heated and with the emotional turmoil of the day hitting its peak, they begin arguing with each other.

Sam and Sanda try to calm both sides, but neither will listen to both of them. It’s not until Shiro steps up and tells them to stop, that both the Pilots and Paladins listen and back off. Sanda takes notice of this as Shiro attempts to get the meeting back on track.

Composed once more, Allura says she wants to know what the Garrison has done with the Altean tech given to them. She looks to Hunk and says the sooner they know what they have to work with, the sooner they might be able to start fighting back and rescuing those captured. Hunk wearly smiles and thanks her as the MFE Pilots watch, their annoyance at the Paladin’s turning to sympathy.

                                      ____________________

Down in the hangers, the Paladins are shown both the MFE Fighters, and their mobile command center/battleship, The Atlas.

Sanda explains that they’ve finished building the battleship, but have been unable to get it running. She says that she and the rest of the leadership recognize that they need to start a counter strike, but without having any major, mobile firepower, they haven’t been able to engage Sendak’s forces. The only way they see themselves having a chance of success against him, is by getting The Atlas working. Until then they are a sitting duck.

Allura, Coran, and Pidge say that they will start helping by looking into The Atlas and see if they can figure out a way to get it running. Coran also offers what little Faunatonium they have left to help boost the MFE’s so that they will run longer without need of a recharge.

Krolia then steps forward and explains that she worked under the Galran Warlord, Ranveig, and has valuable, firsthand knowledge of how the most ruthless of Galra work. She offers to give them all the information they need on what tactics Sendak might use, what weapons he might have at his disposal, as well as teach them how to use the Galra’s own tech against them.

One of the Garrison Leaders, suspicious by her statement, asks what it was that she actually did while working ‘undercover.’ Hearing the implication in his voice, Keith defensively asks what he means by that.

He plainly ask if she’s aided in conquering planets in the past. If so, how do they know that isn’t her end goal here, how can they be sure that she and the Blade won’t turn against them.

The Paladins are insulted by the accusation, but Krolia brushes it off. She explains that she worked under one of Zarkon’s most ruthless warlords, and won’t deny that in order to get to that position, she did things she takes no pride in, but anything she did while infiltrating the Empire she did in order to bring it down.

She tells them that’s what the Blade of Marmora was created to do, and despite being hated and considered traitors by the majority of their own race, they devote their lives to fight for a future where the entire universe can be free.

She personally admits that while that’s what her fight started as, twenty years ago it changed when she crashed on Earth and fell in love with a Human. Earth was her husband's home, her son’s home, and it became her home. She did all she could to protect it when she lived here, and when was no longer enough, she sacrificed a life with her son and husband in order to draw the Empire away.

Krolia says she might be Galra, but she is not the enemy, and her fight is about keeping Earth, and humanity safe. She says if her presence is too uncomfortable for them, then she will leave; but she implores them, no matter their decision, to allow her to share what information she has so they can use it to save the world she loves.

The members of the Garrison are stunned, never expecting to hear such genuine love for their world, and their race come from her. Sanda looks around and sees as the room slowly accepts Krolia’s words. Humans might still have problems with the Galran race in the future, but this one woman has touched hearts, and made an impact on those here, offering the glimpse of a possible peaceful future between the races.

Looking to Krolia, Sanda asks her if she would stay and share all she knows. There is not one complaint to that request.

                                      ____________________

After the meeting is over, Allura, Pidge, Coran, and Sam work in his office together and look through the Garrison’s data, trying to find figure out The Atlas’ problems. Allura gets up for a break, but notices prosthetics Sam had been working on. Sam explains what they were for, and Allura asks if she can tinker with them.

                                      ____________________

Trying to keep himself busy, Hunk attempts to bake, but he can’t get away form the thoughts of his family.

Keith finds him, and walking up to him, places a comforting hand on his shoulder. He asks him how he’s doing. Hunk begins to vent his frustrations and feelings of uselessness about the whole situation. How even though it was a possibility, he never actually thought the Galra would make it to Earth, let alone conquer it.

He shares how he dreamed that once they got home everything would be peaceful, just as it had been before. He now realizes how foolish that was, and now that he’s here, he realizes that he never need to come back to a perfect world; all he ever needed was for his family to be here, healthy and happy.

He says he knows how stupid it seems with all that they have faced as Paladins, but nothing they have been through has made him feel so alone and scared as looking around at the families and not seeing his own.

Keith squeezes his shoulder and tells Hunk that continuing on in spite of fear is what makes one courageous, and that’s who he is. Keith knows it, the Paladins know it, and Hunk’s family knows it.

And he understands Hunk’s feelings, how terrifying it is to not be able to find those who were always there for you, but the thing is, he’s not alone. The Paladins, Shiro, Coran, Romelle, Krolia, they are all here for him. They will all help him get through this and get his family back, no matter what. Right now, though, they need him to pull on his powerful inner strength so that they can work together to free his family and the world.

Hunk accepts Keith’s words and thanks him, hugging the smaller man. The two pull apart, and Hunk says that he knows the risk, but he has to see his family now.

Keith smiles and says that he will help him.

                                      ____________________

Sneaking into the Garrison garage, Hunk and Keith look for a vehicle to take. However, Griffin and Veronica find them, seemingly having known they were here.

The two Paladins prepare to have to make a run for it, but Griffin says they are here to help them out. Hunk and Keith are surprised by this, but Griffin admits it’s his apology for his tactlessness towards Hunk’s situation. Hunk sincerely thanks, and forgives him. Keith and Griffin once again have a brief stare down, this time with Keith nodding his head in thanks.

                                      ____________________

Leaving the Garrison and meeting up with a resistance fighter Veronica knows, they are taken to an abandoned building in Plaht City, and shown the base where some imprisoned Humans are being held.

Hunk asks if they are sure there’s no way to get them out, and the resistance fighter confirms it. Hunk is devastated, but knows more people would be harmed then saved, and is not willing to risk anyone.

Looking through binoculars, Hunk is able to capture a glimpse of his parents and vows to get them out.

                                      ____________________

Back at the Garrison, Shiro finds Allura, asking what she needed him for. As he approaches, she reveals to him a new prosthetic arm she crafted.

Notes:        

I wanted to make sure to show the Paladins all working well together at the beginning in Plaht City. I hate how the writers still made Keith and Lance act so nasty towards each other, even though they were supposed to be friends at this point.

.

You can bet your butt I'm going to do something with the Keith and Griffin story line. Keith being thankful of Jame's actions here is not the end of that. They still don't like each other and will have to deal with their issues, but that doesn't mean that Keith can't be appreciative of him helping Hunk. Like I said before, Keith's matured in my version.

.

Again, toned down Sanda and the Garrison’s idiocy. No one believes giving Sendak the Lions will do any good. They want to take Sendak out, not cave to his demands.

.

So, there is not going to be a whole Human/Blade antagonistic subplot; I don’t have the time for that. I just wanted something that pointed to issues the Humans would have with any Galra, and how they can start to work though issues that there would be.

Having Krolia (who I think is the most balanced Galra in the show) be the first Galra that Humans personally get to know, and the first example as to who the Blade are and what they fight for, would help them come to understand that not all the Galra were for the Empire. Doesn’t mean that things will be perfect between the races, just that there is a chance for a brighter future of peace between them.

.

I cut out all the stuff with Sendak’s mind hologram thing. Both because because I don’t think it did anything for the story -other then be another thing to cause Allura pain- and because Krolia can fill the role of information expositor.

.

During the rest of the season, there’s going to be a lot of stuff cut out and reduced. There was just so much wasted time in these last few episodes, it’s insane. They had scenes of information that we, and they knew, being repeated, tons of magic meeting room scenes that weren't needed, and just slow scenes that padded out the run time but didn’t add anything to the story. It’s mind boggling that they chose to write it that way.

Thanks for reading, have a great day!

NEXT

[mentalillnessmouse]

useful phone apps masterpost

Hello guys! We’ve completely redone our useful phone apps page, and decided to create an identical but rebloggable post as well.

Hope you’ll find these useful!

Mod Bee

Disclaimer: none of these apps are valid substitutes to therapy and/or medical professionals.

Most of these apps are free.

Emergencies & Crisis

Please try these apps first while you’re safe to see if they work on your phone.

ICE Contact is a free personal safety app that delivers instant and delayed messages to friends and family In Case of Emergency (ICE). For Apple and Android.

MY3, with which you define your network and your plan to stay safe. You can be prepared to help yourself and reach out to others when you are having thoughts of suicide. For Apple and Android.

Wickr Me is a top-secret messenger that enables private and easily erasable communications. Take full control over who has access to your content and how long it remains accessible. For Apple and Android.

Chronic Pain

Ouchie, a mobile tool for pain management. Manage your pain, connect with providers and others in your situation, and find accomplishments in the everyday. For Apple and Android.

Flaredown, a comprehensive symptom and treatment tracker. For Apple and Android.

Give and get comfort

Comfort Spot, Quiet Spaces’ app. For Android and Apple.

Vent, a social diary, a place for you to express how you really feel, within an understanding community. For Android and Apple.

Reachout: My Support Network is a Support Network for patients and caregivers fighting chronic conditions. For Apple and Android.

White noises

Rain, Rain, dozens of high-quality endless sounds. Really relaxing. For Apple, Android, and Amazon Apps.

TaoMix 2 offers an easy way to create your own soundscapes that can evolve randomly over time, for a perfect immersion. For Apple and Android.

myNoise, with which you can mix relaxing sounds and create your own favorite mixes for relaxation, sleeping, or concentration. For Apple and Android.

Medications

Medisafe helps you keep track of which medications you need to take, when, and when they’re about to finish, and can create a direct channel between patients and their doctors/pharmacists. It also lets you set up an emergency contact who will be automatically alerted if you forget to take your meds. For Apple and Android.

Carezone lets you take pictures of your prescription bottles, and automatically imports the details. You can also document symptoms and note important contacts. For Apple and Android.

MyTherapy gives you reminders when it’s time to take your medication, take measurements, or do exercises, and it also serves as a journal where you can track your symptoms and overall health. For Apple and Android.

Meditating

Stop, Breathe & Think, to check in with how you’re feeling, practice some mindful breathing, and increase your level of relaxation. For Apple, Android, and Web App.

Take a break! to relax as you are voice-guided step by step. For Apple, Android, and Amazon Apps.

Breathe2Relax, a portable stress management tool which provides instructions and practice exercises to help users learn stress management skills, through diaphragmatic breathing. For Apple and Android.

Insight Timer, guided meditations and talks led by the world’s top mindfulness experts, neuroscientists, psychologists, and meditation teachers from Stanford, Harvard, Dartmouth and the University of Oxford. For Apple and Android.

Smiling Mind, not-for-profit organisation that works to make mindfulness accessible for all. For Apple and Android.

Calm claims to bring clarity, joy, and peace, to your daily life. A meditation app for beginners, but it also includes hundreds of programs for intermediate and advanced meditators and gurus. For Apple and Android.

Recolor delivers the mammoth adult coloring book phenomenon in an app-sized package. More than 1,000 images are provided on Recolor to help you relax, rest your mind, and send you into a Zen-like meditative state. For Apple and Android.

Keeping a journal

TherapyBuddy has five features: you can record your appointments, write a “helpful takeaway” for each session, create a homework assignment task list, create a list of things to bring up at your next session, and set an alert reminder for your next appointment. For Apple and Android.

Journey records your daily events to relive those moments later. For Apple, Android, and Windows.

Daylo lets you pick your mood and add activities you have been doing during the day. You can also add notes and keep an old school diary. For Apple and Android.

Positivity

Happify claims to bring you effective tools and programs to take control of your emotional well-being. For Apple and Android.

Bliss - Gratitude Journal works like a daily diary or gratitude journal that allows you to record thoughts and meditation on the previous day. For Apple and Android.

Happier helps you stay more present and positive throughout the day. Use it to lift your mood, take a quick meditation pause, or capture and savor the small happy moments that you find in your day. For Apple, Android version coming soon.

Productivity & Focus

Todoist, with which you can keep track of everything so you can start getting things done and enjoy more peace-of-mind along the way. For Apple and Android.

myHomework is useful for students, especially those of us with poor memory. This app is a practical planner, and it has reminders for classes, assignments, etc. For Apple, Android, and Windows phone.

Habitica is built like a game, to help you stay motivated and organized. For Apple and Android.

ColorNote is a simple notepad app, with a quick and easy notepad editing experience when you write notes, memos, e-mails, messages, shopping lists, and to-do lists. You can assign different colors to different notes. For Apple and Android.

Peak challenges your memory, attention, problem solving, mental agility, language, coordination, creativity, and emotion control, to improve your brain’s performance. For Apple and Android.

Forest helps you put down your phone and stay focused on what you have to do. For Apple and Android.

Recovery

Rise Up + Recover for EDs is based off self-monitoring homework, and it’s a good addition to your professional treatment. For Apple and Android.

MHRG: Mental Health Recovery Guide claims that there are 17 (seventeen) essential things you need to know to fast track your recovery from mental illness. This app will tell you what they are and help you through them. For Apple and Android.

The WRAP® App involves listing your personal resources (Wellness Tools), and then using these resources to develop Action Plans. For Apple and Android.

Nomo accurately breaks down the years, months, weeks, days, hours, and minutes of your recovery journey. You can also share your success with others.

Self-help

Virtual Hope Box is where patients can store a variety of rich multimedia content that they find personally supportive, and have them on hand in times of need. It’s designed for use by patients and their behavioral health providers as an accessory to treatment. For Apple and Android.

Self-help Anxiety Management, or SAM, is a friendly app that offers a range of self-help methods for people who want to learn about how to manage their anxiety.

Calm Harm provides tasks to help you resist or manage the urge to self-harm. You can set a password so that it's completely private. For Apple and Android.

SkinPick allows you to document your picking urges and episodes. After a while of using the app, you will have gathered enough data to start seeing patterns in your behavior and trying to block the process. For Apple and Android.

SuperBetter is a tool created by game designers and backed by science. By playing it you start building personal resilience: the ability to stay strong, motivated, and optimistic even in the face of difficult challenges. It works like a game of rewards. For Apple and Android.

Moodlytics is a mood tracking/journal/diary app with easy to understand data analysis. You can also set goals and have your moods analyzed through time.

Koko offers services that help social network users manage crisis, abuse, and bullying. For various apps.

Sleep helpers

Twilight, an app that blocks blue light from your screen. Only for Android, but iPhones have the option included in their last updates.

Pzizz has a patented algorithm that plays you "dreamscapes"— sleep-optimized mixes of music, voiceover, and sound effects that quickly quiet your mind, put you to sleep, keep you asleep, and then wake you up feeling refreshed. For Apple and Android.

iSleep Easy Meditations Free contains three guided meditations to help you fall asleep and sleep deeply. For Apple and Android.

[aflamethatneverdies]

2.2.1

We come to the plot and Valjean again. His whole capture is summed up in one short line and Hugo doesn’t dwell on it. The style of the chapter is interesting, not only because Hugo is quoting from several articles to sketch a picture of what happens. The way the newspaper clippings are used is interesting and impartial, as if Hugo is recording Valjean’s memoirs.

Interestingly though, the newspapers rely a lot on gossip and what is said about people, with a lot of misleading information about Valjean’s character. However, the fact that Valjean refused to send an appeal against the death penalty, seems an unwise decision since he had promised to rescue Fantine’s daughter, but I guess it is in keeping with his self-sabotage of his life and chances because he feels he does not deserve things.

We do find out about Petit Gervais and children like him were involved in the business of sweeping chimneys, which is kind of heartbreaking.

Hugo points out that Valjean was using the model of a benevolent entrepreneur of the factory where he looked out for other people, but without him, everything just devolved into fighting and every man for himself trying to make it work.

Without cooperation, giving to charity and employing the poor, the model breaks down and the prosperity of the town which was directly dependent on this ends. He was one person doing this, like the bishop who was giving charity, but it was not enough. I find it interesting that Hugo does not make Valjean give away all or most of the profits he has earned as well or start some other kind of a cooperative with several small businesses working to support each other, and that this is the economic model that Hugo supports. Although the model that he frowns upon is capitalist and greedy and only concerned with short term goals of making as much money as you can, and I like that he criticises that here.

2.2.2

This chapter has a very fairytale start, building up on superstitions of finding treasure in the forest to the possibility of actual treasure, I like the way Hugo writes about it. But then we get to the reason why we need to know this. Valjean may have hidden the money that he earned, somewhere in the forest, which was hinted by the previous chapter and Hugo informs us at the start of this chapter too about the connection. 

Boulatruelle is interesting in the sense that despite being an ex-convict like Valjean, he did not turn his life around and is stuck in his situation without a way to escape or better his life. He respects authority too much but in return is always suspected by them- he is too respectful, too humble to everyone else as an ex-convict, because he knows people don’t consider him as an equal human being, if Valjean’s treatment in the town of Digne is anything to go by - I don’t know why Hugo points him being humble and respectful, out specifically as faults, but I guess he doesn’t make much effort to change things in his life. It’s also probably a look at how Valjean’s life would have been if he had not started afresh with the bishop’s silver. It comes back to the fact of bishop and Valjean’s chance encounter working through the hand of Providence/God.

Boulatruelle works mending roads for a pittance, which is the only work he can get as an ex-convict. He also drinks heavily, and no one takes him seriously, that is except Thenardier who thinks he might be onto something.

Thenardier only cares so far about Boulatruelle to get the information out of him, proving himself an opportunist at every turn and not above talking to people below his station. Thenardier would take advantage of anyone for a few sous, though Boulatruelle does not reveal much here, despite being given drinks, which is good. Unfortunately, he also does not have much luck trying to find Valjean’s treasure and is considered a foolish drunkard who believes in fairytales by everyone else.