#i fucking hate the spa world

[blueside-hobi]

I love it when my job adds specialties that we have to do but they don't explain to us what they are or how to explain to clients the difference between services

[gunpowderdtim]

I promise none of you have family drama that even compares to mine

[apricote]

can't even imagine building your own save file i'm literally tired just searching for builds and putting them in my game

[astonmartingf]

GOOD RIDDANCE OP! ; CS55

carlos sainz x aston martin fan!reader . . . after breaking up with your stupid boyfriend your number one idol hooks you up on a date with one of his "sons" which is a driver from the same team your ex boyfriend likes

amgf i'm back to my roots!!! carlos sainz fics 😛 y'know some amgf lore is that carlos was the first driver i knew other than lewis but he's everywhere atp i think everyone knows him and i saw clips of him talking about alonso that i looked him up and saw him and look at me now, insane. maybe this is a little too self indulgent but what can i say, i cater to myself first when writing so... enjoy pwahahahahahaha because i had fun writing this 😋👍

yourusername uploaded a new story

[i might actually pass out, someone call the doctor rq!!!! what is actually happening]

yourusername

liked by astonmartinf1, fernandoalo_oficial, and 26,941 others

yourusername uhm welcome to spa?

view 7,752 comments

user32 yooooo you're in spa what the heck????

user50 if i had tweeted something like that would i have been invited to a race instead?

user38 con 😭 gra 😭 tu 😭 la 😭 tions 😭

user93 imagine breaking up with boyfriend because of fernando alonso and then going to the race with fernando alonso

user05 SLAYYYY BABES!!!!!!

user17 i know exboyf is fuming //////

comment is liked by the user

user48 oh to be invited by your favorite driver 🥹🥹🥹🥹

user72 @/charlesleclerc my ex boyfriend broke up with me because i've been a fan of you can i get tickets to see you 😭🤲🤲

→ charlesleclerc HAHAHAHAHA send the team your details, we'll find a way

user49 not this being a new way to get tickets 😭

user64 trendsetter yn!!! but also deserve because he actually a pos and good riddance to him

comment is liked by user

yourusername uploaded a new story

[i know a spot he says... 10/10 for the tacos but 100/100 for the company <3]

f1wagscentral

f1wagscentral A new wag in the making? Following the viral tweet of a Fernando Alonso fan, YN LN took F1 fans in a storm with her story time about her ex-boyfriend breaking up with her because of the 2-time World Champion.

In recent news a fan tweeted to YN asking for updates about the date set up by her idol, who confirmed that things are indeed going smoothly which delighted the matchmaker, revealing he knew about their plans.

Fans deduct two drivers in the grid who could be a potential partner for YN which are Lando Norris and Carlos Sainz, with YN's instagram account privated, little information is known. Who are you rooting for, team 🌶️ or 🧡?

view 980 comments

yourusername 🔒

liked by fernandoalo_oficial, carlossainz55, and 5 others

yourusername i have a life outside being a fernando alonso fan 🤞

view 25 comments

carlossainz55 i always knew i was the other man in our relationship

→ yourusername i'm glad you know how important fernando alonso is to me ❤️

→ yourusername especially because i hate your team, fuck ferrari thank god you're moving to williams

→ carlossainz55 is that why you haven't soft launched me yet?

→ yourusername you mean hard launch?

→ carlossainz55 WAIT.... is that really the reason???? amor?????

→ yourusername i'm joking stop spamming my messages, wth

→ carlossainz55 don't joke with me amor

→ yourusername it may or may not be the reason.....

→ carlossainz55 how could i have missed it 🙄 not surprised, we both know how much you hate ferrari, nonetheless glad you took the chance

→ yourusername and if i told you i dated you to make my ex boyfriend jealous?

→ carlossainz55 well you love me don't you?

→ yourusername i think that's entry level babes, ofc i love you so much 😘

→ carlossainz55 i'm sure your love is enough to make him jealous, his loss and a win for me 😛

→ yourusername wow you're so cute, come home faster now 😠

→ carlossainz55 aye aye boss 🫡

→ yourusername we can watch fernando alonso clips right?

→ carlossainz55 whatever you want amor 😘

[astonmartinii]

match my freak | yuki tsunoda social media au

pairing: yuki tsunoda x fem rugby player reader

there's only one person who can match the yuki tsunoda radio freak...

MAIN MASTERLIST | TIP JAR

.・゜゜・ part of the aston martini summer olympics ・゜゜・．

yukitsunoda0511

liked by pierregasly, danielricciardo and 384,098 others

tagged: yourusername

yukitsunoda0511: spa was fine i guess, time to spend my summer break in france (ew) supporting the love of my life (yay)

view all comments

user1: 'fine i guess' as if we didn't get YOINTS

user2: tbf if my gf looked like that, points also wouldn't matter to me

pierregasly: FRANCE (EW)??? DID OUR HOMOEROTIC TENSION MEAN NOTHING???

yukitsunoda0511: oh so when i diss france we had homoerotic tension but when i said we were boyfriends i went too far 🤨

pierregasly: diss me all you want but not the homeland?

yukitsunoda0511: fine, i will from 5pm tomorrow

pierregasly: ???

yukitsunoda0511: because y/n will be there and therefore it will be the ONLY country in existence

pierregasly: i give up

user3: i need a man this down bad for me asap

user4: maybe it's time to lower my height requirements :(

yourusername: it's not how tall you are but how you are tall

user5: idk what the fuck that means

yourusername: IT MEANS SHORT KINGS PUT IN A LOT OF EFFORT WHY DO I HAVE TO SPELL OUT EVERYTHING? WHERE IS THE MEDIA LITERACY? THE READ COMPREHENSION?

user6: okay i think i now know ^^ why y/n and yuki are so good together

user7: i need someone to edit together their most iconic on field and radio moments together please for my mental health

yourusername: that's a crazy coincidence because the love of MY life will also be in paris 🤨

yukitsunoda0511: well i bet i love my love of my life more than you love your love of your life

yourusername: NUH UH

yukitsunoda0511: yep :PPPPPPP

yourusername: u wanna fight?

yukitsunoda0511: yes actually!

yourusername: well soz babe i can't get all hot and bothered before competing 🤷‍♀️

yukitsunoda0511: BORING

yourusername

liked by danielricciardo, pierregasly and 318,905 others

tagged: yukitsunoda

yourusername: seeing yuki again: 10/10 ... realising he's not allowed in the olympic village and there's only cardboard beds anyway -100,000/10

view all comments

user12: so i suddenly understand why they give out so many condoms at the olympics

user13: why do they all go so feral?

yourusername: have you seen my man?

yourusername: AND THAT'S A RHETORICAL QUESTION TO SHOW OFF MY HANDSOME LITTLE MAN NOT AN INVITATION FOR YOU BITCHES TO THIRST

user14: noted 😔

pierregasly: i'm the one with a bad digital footprint but you're out here being just as horny as me on main

yourusername: i am allowed to ?

pierregasly: and i'm not allowed to?

yourusername: no

pierregasly: so fuck me i guess?

yourusername: let me be a woman in a male dominated field (being gross online)

yukitsunoda0511: yeah pierre stop trying to minimise womens' voices

pierregasly: how am i the bad guy again?

yourusername: man ❤️

pierregasly: yuki is a man?

yourusername: he's MY man which means he's been closely vetted and is basically one of the girls now

user14: i know visa cashapp rb or whatever the fuck they're called hate to see them coming

user15: it's the fact she's taller than most of the mechanics and she is always watching over them

yukitsunoda0511: i missed you so much but i can't wait to watch you beat the shit out of the competition

yourusername: for you, anything

yukitsunoda0511: a gold? so at least one of us can be world champion 🥺

yourusername: i'll win gold for you and then schedule in a friendly visit to see helmut

yukitsunoda0511: i think your mere presence could give him a heart attack

yourusername: oh well

user16: so real of her

olympics

liked by yukitsunoda0511, landonorris and 1,209,678 others

tagged: newzealandrubgy

olympics: the women's rugby final saw gold go home to new zealand!

view all comments

user17: okay yuki i am SEEING THE VISION

user18: i watched this game to see her and i am a changed woman

user19: i am no better than a man

danielricciardo: my personal favourite moment was when y/n clotheslined that poor girl, laughed in her face and said if she tried to get past her again she'd make trinket dishes out of her knee caps

yourusername: why thank you, i think my wit is my least appreciated part of my game

danielricciardo: i think we should honestly get you in the commentary box

yourusername: i'd make mince meat of crofty, he'd never say anything about yuki's radios again

danielricciardo: can you tell them to stop telling me to retire while you're at it?

yourusername: sure, i'm feeling generous

danielricciardo: a gold medal will do that to you

user20: so they weren't joking when they said that her and yuki are just the same person in different fonts ?

user21: my commentary team apologised about 20 times for her swearing on the broadcast but then they kept bursting out laughing whenever she said anything

yukitsunoda0511: HOLY FUCKING SHIT

yukitsunoda0511: GOAT GOAT GOAT MY GIRLFRIEND IS THE GOAT

yukitsunoda0511: i'm so proud, i love you y/n 🫶🏻🥹❤️‍🩹

yourusername: i love you too boo

yukitsunoda0511: can they let me in the room now? i'm getting withdrawal symptoms :(

yourusername: of course, i can't celebrate properly without you

yukitsunoda0511: 😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄

user22: picturing yuki waiting outside the team room is so cute

user23: the nz team instagram posted a pic of it on their story he had flowers and balloons (∩˃o˂∩)♡

yukitsunoda0511

liked by pierregasly, maxverstappen1 and 893,401 others

tagged: yourusername

yukitsunoda0511: she matches my freak :)

view all comments

user25: oh believe me we know

user26: i'm like a confusing mix of scared AND turned on

yukitsunoda0511: you keep that to yourself

user27: okay sir 🤨

yukitsunoda0511: you can look but you can't touch :P

yukitsunoda0511: actually don't even look

yukitsunoda0511: don't even think about her ( ｡ •̀ ᴖ •́ ｡)

user28: this man is insane, i love him

yourusername: you LIKE HIM YOU APPRECIATE HIM FROM AFAR YOU MAYBE HAVE A PARASOCIAL RELATIONSHIP YOU DON'T LOVE HIM THAT'S FOR ME AND ME ONLY

user29: oh they weren't joking about matching each other's freaks

yourusername: there's no one else i'd like to be a lil gremlin with :3

yukitsunoda0511: gremlins forever with you <3

yourusername: sounds like paradise to me !!

yukitsunoda0511: i'm on it ✍🏻

user30: is he going to propose ???

user31: hopefully (ㅅ •᷄ ₃•᷅ )

pierregasly: yeah i guess you guys are kinda cute

yukitsunoda0511: kINDA?

yourusername: i know this man ain't speaking on us

yourusername: kika is the face economy in that relationship

yourusername: her back must hurt from carrying the style in this couple

francisca.cgomez: well 🥹

pierregasly: WHAT ? HOW ?

yukitsunoda0511: don't call my girlfriend kinda cute then 🤨

user32: good lord

fin.

note: she's back !!!!!

[cherriesformatt]

first mother’s day || matt sturniolo

summary: little blurb about celebrating your first Mother’s Day it’s Matt and your daughter

warnings: none just fluff

world count: 759

a/n: just a little part to the pregnancy series 🤭 since it’s mother’s day tomorrow. I didn’t prof read yet

🍒

I woke up because first of all I did not hear white noise from the camera monitor and also didn’t feel Matt’s presence next to me. I slept whole night and that was surprising because we came here and Noa was in the room next to us. We traveled to Boston to see Marylou.

I stretched in bed and opened my eyes. I looked at the monitor and Noa’s crib was empty so she must have woke up already. I looked at the clock and it was 10.

“What the fuck?” I stood up from the bed.

I usually was up like at 6 to feed her and get her ready for the day. I opened the doors and smell of bagels and coffee filled my nose.

I was wearing Matt’s tee and pajama pants and I grabbed my glasses before I left my room.

I went downstairs into the kitchen and I gasped.

“Happy First Mother’s Day baby!” Matt yelled at me and I was literally stunned.

“Happy Mother’s Day y/n!!!!” The rest of the family was also there.

There were flowers everywhere. Kitchen was filled with all my and their mom’s favorite food and snacks. There were gift bags and I looked at my little girl. She was all happy in her chair. She was wearing a dress and she had a little bow in her hair. He dressed her up so cute. She squinted when she saw me.

“What is this all? Oh my god guys… you didn’t have to… come here my beautiful baby” I picked her up and kissed her head few times.

“Well…I wanted to do something special for you” he kissed my head.

“Thank you guys…and Happy Mother’s Day” I looked at them and than Marylou and came to give her big hug.

“Oh honey it’s all about you today” She said giving me a big smile.

“Oh no if it wasn’t about you then I wouldn’t have all of this” I smiled and kissed Noa’a cheek.

“Look at you baby….dada picked up such a beautiful outfit for you” I said to my daughter.

“Well… it was Mom and actually she got that outfit from Justin” He said scratching his neck.

“Of course… Matt wouldn’t put her in all pink but uncle Justin got her” Justin smiled and I laughed.

“You’re so cheesy Justin” I said and Noa wanted to go to her grandma so I let Marylou take her.

“I slept till now it’s a miracle” I said to Matt.

“I was hoping you will…” He said and gave me a quick kiss.

We talked and have the breakfast all together as we watched Noa play with Trever on the floor. She was 9 months now and she was so independent already. I had tears in my eyes every time I thought about her growing so fast. I was such a mother.

“Okay so we let mom already open her presents but those are all for you” Matt said when I was sipping my juice sitting at the island when he was cleaning.

“Matt you literally didn’t have to get me anything I am happy we can be here and spend time as family” I said taking the bags.

“I need to make my baby momma happy” he said and I just made a face at him.

“Don’t ever say that” I laughed and opened the gifts.

One of them was a designer bag from Matt and matching shoes from Nick and Chris. Cards and charms to my bracelet from their parents. I also got spa day voucher from Justin.

“You all are impossible spending money on my like that! It’s… thank you” I said and just came and gave Matt a big hug.

“I love you so so so much thank you for making me a mom” I closed my eyes when my head rested on his chest.

“See… that’s a crazy thing to say as well” he said and I laughed.

“But I love you too… and it was all Noa don’t look at me” He hugged me tight to him.

“They all also said we should go out tonight and they will watch Noa for us” he smiled.

“Are you inviting me for a date?” I smiled back.

“Yes… it’s a date” he said.

“Let me think about it” I said just to fuck with him a little.

“I hate you” he said and i stand on my toes to kiss his lips.

He kissed me back and than I smiled even more. It was all perfect today.

[megamindsecretlair]

Like What I See

Pairing: Big Stunna x Baby Girl!Black!Fem!/ Plus Size reader

Warnings: 18+, Minors DNI, You are in charge of your own reading experience. Intentional use of AAVE. SMUT. FILTH. PWP, cursing, PIV, oral (female receiving) teasing/mocking, size kink, dirty talk, praise kink, all consensual. Soft Black reader.

Summary: Stunna is dealing with a lot in regards to the business. He sends you off to have a relaxing day shopping and pampering yourself. But when you get home, Stunna can't resist you.

Word Count: 2,856k

AO3 Link

A/N: WHEW. I've been FERAAAAALLLL. So I needed to bang this out. This is as close as I get to a drabble. Toss a coin to your writer by leaving a comment or reblog!

Taglist: @planetblaque @blackerthings @browngirldominion @we-outsiiiide @thecookiebratz @iv0rysoap @notapradagurl7 @sevikasblackgf @miyuhpapayuh @xo-goldengirl @kindofaintrovert @flydotty @judymfmoody @slippinninque @soufcakmistress @henneseyhoe @westside-rot @melaninpov @twocentuar @blackpinup22 @babybratzmaraj @theyscreamsannii @kiabialia @prettyisasprettydoes1306 @00aijia00 @hopefulromantic1 @lesbiantreehugger @longpause-awkwardsmile @badassdoll @kholdkill @blackpinup22 @cardi-bre91 @blowmymbackout @jay-mach @sageispunk @yourofficialgal @liyaah02 @monaeesstuff @amethyst09 @harmshake @satoruya @theunsweetenedtruth @ciaqui @multiversefanfics @tvchi

You could not wait to get home. You stared down at your freshly painted pink nails. The soft, pale color went well with your beautiful brown skin and looking at them only made you feel prettier. Doubly so because your man chose the color for you today.

Typically, your man didn’t like you driving yourself around but he had a lot of business to take care of. He handed you a stack of cash and told you to pamper yourself today. And you nearly spent every last bit of it. 

First, you stopped by your favorite beauty store and grabbed your favorite bubble bath, some candles, and some lotion. Then, you made it to the makeup store, grabbing things you did not need but absolutely wanted. Lip shine, mascara, whatever your little heart came across just because you could. Lastly, you went to the spa and got one of the best massages of your life.

You had nearly fallen asleep on the table as the masseuse worked out lingering kinks and knots into your plump skin. You had gotten the works. A facial, foot rub, nails and feet done, and some quiet time in the sauna. You were mighty relaxed and now, all you wanted to do was see your baby.

You pulled onto your quiet street, the houses as nondescript as possible. Stunna didn’t want to flaunt his wealth that much. He preferred to flaunt it in other ways. Helping out in the neighborhood, taking care of those in his employ, or simply treating you. You loved that he wasn’t a braggart. Or thought the world owed him something just because. 

When you pulled into the driveway, you frowned a bit. He was usually at the door for you, pulling it open before you even had a chance to stop the car. You got out and locked the door, leaving your bags in the back because you knew Stunna will carry it inside for you.

Once inside, the sweet aroma of fresh apples wafted through the air. It was just an air freshener, but this was one of the best things you loved about coming home. That it felt like a home, small as your family may be. It was just you and Stunna for now and you wouldn’t have it any other way.

But where was he? With all the nonsense going on in his little feud with Malcolm, you had to contend with Stunna’s diverted attention. You hated it. You didn’t want to impose, but enough was fucking enough. 

“Baby?” You called out. Your heels clicked on the runner in the foyer as you walked down the hallway in search of your husband. He wasn’t in the kitchen where he usually was or on the couch watching his games. 

You took out your phone. There were no missed calls from him. There was just the text from him telling you to drive safely when you told him that you were on your way home. This just wasn’t like him. 

You sighed. So much for being excited. You had wanted to show off your nails and gush about your day. You wanted to show off your sinfully short black skirt and white button up shirt. The sleeves billowed slightly and gave you a slightly artsy look. Paired with your heels, it was a little dressy, a little cutesy, and you loved it. 

You went upstairs, a little miffed that your outfit went to waste. The bedroom door was closed so you opened it, ready to call Stunna’s phone and see where the hell he ran off to. As the door fully opened, you were grabbed from behind with a loud yell.

You screamed, arms stretching out wide to hang onto the doorframe and prevent your attacker from pushing you inside. Raucous laughter filled the doorframe as your husband, Stunna, kissed your cheek. 

Your heart was beating so fast, it took you two tries to yell out, “You scared the shit out of me!” 

“I’m sorry, baby,” he said. “You didn’t see me on the couch and I wondered what you’d do.” 

You tried to twist out of his grasp, lowering your hands to his so that you could forcibly remove him. He didn’t budge. He held you tighter about the waist, planting soft kisses along your neck and cheek.

“Forgive me?” He mumbled in between kisses. 

“I ain’t hear no apology,” you said and sucked your teeth. Meanie. You crossed your arms because you already knew that he wasn’t going to let you go until he got what he wanted. 

“I am so, very, completely, passionately sorry,” he said in between kissing your neck, cheek, and jaw. “I won’t do anything like that again.”

You sighed. You could feel the pout in his words. “Fine, I guess I forgive you,” you said, losing the bulk of your anger. You were more scared than anything else and now that your heartbeat resembled something close to normal, there wasn’t anything left to be mad about. 

“Hm, let me see,” he said. He finally released you and you turned in his arms to look up into his gorgeous face. It felt like it had been longer than just a few hours since you’ve seen him. Like every second expanded into hours the longer you were away from him. 

You looked him over. He wore a black T-shirt and matching black sweats on his long frame. A gold chain lay around his neck and he smiled, showing off a set of gold canines. He perused you in much the same manner, taking the moment to appreciate each other and the moment. 

He smiled, so you smiled in response. He took both of your hands in his and looked at your nails. “Hm, lookin’ so pretty,” he said. He kissed the backs of both hands and then took in the rest of your outfit. 

“This what you wore outside?” He asked.

You nodded. You stepped away and did a little spin for him. “You like?” You asked.

“I love,” he said, his voice getting deeper. Lower. Your eyes flicked to his and saw the raw hunger in his eyes. He looked from your heels, to your thick thighs, all the way up to the top of your head. 

“Matter of fact, you look good enough to eat,” he said. “Get yo ass on that bed.” 

The back of your thighs tingled instantly from the sheer power of his voice. Dangerous, dangerous man. Your mouth opened into a pretty little ‘O’ as you gaped at him. “Can I freshen up first?” 

“You heard me. Bed,” he said. He stood stock still, still framed by the doorway that his head nearly brushed the top of. He rubbed his small beard, looking at you as if he wanted to rip your clothes off. 

You began to walk backwards towards the bed, keeping your eye on him with a small smile. His mouth quirked to the side, watching your shenanigans. Yes, you were complying, but in your own way, dammit. A small bit of payback for scaring you. 

When you got to the bed, you sat down, tossing your phone onto the nightstand. The bed was a Grand Turk Plush mattress, so soft and plush that you sank down onto it. It wasn’t the greatest for the wild lovemaking you two did, but it was heaven on both of your backs so you’d take it. 

Stunna finally moved from the doorway, stalking towards you. When he got in front of you, you had to lean back just to continue looking in his eyes. He was that damn tall. 

You gently rubbed your thighs together, already needing a bit of friction. Nothing escaped Stunna. He smirked at you. “Open,” he said. 

Slowly, you shifted on the bed to open your legs and accommodate him in between. He sank to his knees, shoulders pressing your legs out further. Then, he reached under your skirt for your panties, drawing them down your legs. 

Your breathing turned heavy. Everything about this man just ramped up your horniness. And it wasn’t always his sex appeal. It was just him. Kind, loving, and an absolute gangster out in the streets. You’ve seen him get medieval nasty when it came to his business and the good Lord help you, but you loved it. 

Free of your panties, Stunna pushed your skirt up and around your hips. He sucked in an appreciative gasp, eyes getting bigger. 

“Please, don’t tease me right now,” you said. You couldn’t stand it. You needed him feral. Softness right now would absolutely crush you.

“”How you need me, then, baby?” He asked. 

“More. I need more. Break me in half,” you said. 

Stunna chuckled. “As my lady commands,” he said. His hands jerked out fast, grabbing the back of your knees and pulling you forward on the bed. You squealed at the unexpected roughhousing. 

Wasting no time, his lips latched onto your clit and began sucking like his life depended on it. With his gold canines and the dim room, you almost felt like you were getting devoured by a vampire. It only turned you on. 

You throbbed in his mouth and he moaned, pushing your legs on top of his shoulders. You were pretty sure your heels were digging into his back but he made no indication that it bothered him. 

“Oh, oh fuck,” you moaned. “Yes, yes, yes!” Your nails flew to his head, lighting scratching at his scalp and holding him closer. Fuck, you felt so good. You grinded on his tongue. Each swipe of his tongue pushed you closer and closer to the edge. 

If you could pay this man to eat you out for hours on end, you absolutely would. After a few years of marriage, you found that there were still things to try with him. Still new positions or a bit of role playing to introduce. Things to ask for. That would have to be one of them. See how long you could give oral before the person climaxed.

Stunna removed his mouth and you whined. His mouth was quickly replaced with his fingers. You were so slippery and wet, that it almost didn’t feel different to not have his mouth there. You continued to twist and writhe on the bed, body tensing as you got closer.

“I been dealing with shit all day, but I’ve been dreaming about tasting you,” he said.

You huffed a laugh. “You ate me out this morning,” you said. 

“Fuck that mean?” He asked. To emphasize his point, he dipped two fingers inside of you. Once his fingers were coated in your essence, he pumped them faster and harder, shaking his palm against your clit. Your toes curled in your heels. Your thighs strained around his shoulders. 

Your breathing turned ragged. Your hand flailed, looking for a place to grab on to. But he was too far out of reach. Stunna only watched you struggle and squirm, not giving you the anchor you were seeking. 

“Even at my angriest today, I just pictured this. You absolutely undone on my fingers,” he said. His voice grew quieter as if allowing room for your climax to get louder. Your whimpers and whines turned to keening cries as your back bowed and you finally came. You gushed onto his fingers.

Stunna continued to finger fuck you, encouraging the sounds you were making. “Music,” he said.

“So, so mean,” you panted as you shivered from such an intense orgasm. 

“You wanna see me get really mean?” He asked.

He didn’t wait for you to respond. He stood up abruptly, dropping your legs to the edge of the bed. He stood up to his full height and then grabbed your legs once more, pulling you until your ass half hung off of the bed.

“I’m gonna fall!” You screamed.

“I ain’t never gon’ let something happen to you,” he promised. He hooked your legs around his waist and then he pushed his sweats down low enough to free his thick, fat dick. 

You may have moaned. You may have drooled. Whatever it is that you did, made Stunna chuckle as he tapped his dick against your wet pussy. It made delicious wet smacking sounds and you moaned from the impact and from the filthiness of it. 

He swirled his tip through your folds, coating his dick in your essence. He looked at you, right in the eye. “I just want you to know that I love you,” he said.

You tilted your head at him, wondering what he meant by that. Then, he slammed home in one hard thrust. It was so quick, you were feeling so full, that your mouth dropped open but no sound came out. 

Stunna didn’t care. He began to pound away inside you like a man possessed. As if your pussy held the fountain of youth. Or was the lost city of Atlantis. You could hardly breathe as he rammed his fat dick inside of you, over and over. He found a steady, punishing pace that made you see stars.

You could only look up at the popcorn ceiling as he rammed inside. “Breathe baby,” Stunna grunted. “Breathe or I’ll stop.” 

You nodded, still not trusting your lungs. But you also didn’t want him to stop. So you forced air into your lungs, taking heaping big breaths to get your mind acting right again. “Oh fuckfuckfuckfuck,” you cried. Tears gathered in your eyes. 

Only him. Only your husband. Only this man made all others pale in comparison. The world could go to hell at the moment and you’d still only have eyes and love for this man. 

Your hands clawed at his shirt as he drooped forward, planting a wet kiss on your forehead. His necklace swung powerfully with his thrusts. His gold canines flashed as he tilted his head up a bit to give you a quick glance over. 

He moaned low and deep in his chest. Never breaking stride, he lifted off of you and then began to unbutton your shirt with one hand. The other pressed into the mattress against your side to keep his balance.

“Put them hands on me,” he commanded. You obliged by wrapping your hand around the arm beside you and the other on his shoulder. He groaned as your hands found his skin. 

“Fuck, feeling so good. Baby. Fuck, fuck,” you moaned. You were so close again. So soon. It was too much. Your head flopped from side to side. Trying to stay in the game but knowing that your ass needed to tap out. 

The hand on his shoulder tried to push him, to ease him up, to slow him down. But he persisted. “Just remember, I love you,” he said again. He smirked as you groaned, your eyes rolling into the back of your head.

He freed enough of your buttons to push the shirt apart and show him your white bra. He hooked a finger down the center and pulled far enough to free your titties from the cups. Pushed under your titties, the bra made your titties stand out. 

He grinned as if he’d found the prize at the bottom of a cereal box. He leaned forward again, bringing his lips to your sensitive nipples.

Once he latched on, your body began to jerk and twitch out of your control. Fuck, that felt amazing. Pleasure rippled through your body like waves, as you screamed and cried his name. 

“Yes, baby, let them neighbors know my name,” he grunted. He pumped a few more times, tongue laving at your chest as he finally moaned one last time and spilled inside of you.

His cum was scalding and shot out in spurts, bathing your insides. You cried as he continued moving as if his body was no longer his to control. 

You both panted as he half collapsed on top of you. He looked up at you and you couldn’t help giggling with him.

“What the hell got into you?” You asked when you finally trusted your voice. 

“Everything about you, my love. Everything,” he said. 

He climbed further onto the bed, not leaving from inside of you as he dropped the full weight of himself on top of you. You laughed under the weight of him. 

“You get on my nerves!” You giggled, struggling for breath underneath him. 

Stunna chuckled and then finally rolled over. He brought you with him until you were the one laying on top of him. His hands gripped your waist, pushing your skirt further up so that it could flutter naturally around his waist. 

“I wanna feel you bounce on this dick. I got some more loads for you,” he said. He thrusted his hips, making you bounce on him as if he were an unruly pony. You laughed and laughed, sides starting to hurt.

“More loads for me, huh?” You asked. 

“Hell yeah. I need to fill you up so I can watch it slide out,” he said with a saucy wink.

You rolled your eyes but nothing was stopping you from getting what he promised.

The end.

More Big Stunna here we goo: The Secret Big Stunna Files

[tbzhub]

Money Shot

Pairing: photographer!Lee Hyunjae x afab!reader

Summary: a night in with your boyfriend turns into a photoshoot

Warnings: MDNI, smut, marking, fingering, unprotected sex, lots of photos are taken, pet names like twice

Rating / Genre: M, established relationship au, some fluff, smut

WC: 3.6K

Artist Note: this is a little part 2 to this fic: just go fuck him ♥︎ thank you for the love on that story, i'm sorry the title is so misleading alvjbhvxzgfn. i figured i'd revisit these two!

Tagged: @deoboyznet @everykebbie @blizzardfluffykpop

psst i finished it @the-boy-meets-evil

m.list tag list

It’s a wonder how much a person can change in a year or two. 

These days your chest doesn't feel as tight. Your thoughts aren’t as intrusive and insecurity visits you infrequently. The smiles that grace your lips are genuine– often prompted by the joy that's found its way into the tight confines of your heart. 

With each passing day, came a further understanding of what it meant to live. To experience the world with an abundance of love intertwined with your being. 

Hyunjae wouldn’t agree, but he made all the difference. You are far more vibrant now; confident, social, witty. Being deeply in love brought out a version of yourself that was content and yet utterly fearless. 

There’s peace, both in knowing someone has seen the harshest parts of you and that they still love you just the same. 

Hyunjae gave you the space to be yourself– to show up however you were able to on any given day. With you, he was gentle and understanding in a way that’s reserved for people who care. 

Dating him meant never having doubt– not when he made every day feel like a gift. It was easy to smile with him around. He was funny without trying and hilarious in times when laughter was needed most. His spontaneity took some getting used to, but only because you were a homebody. Now, you look forward to the days you spend with him, enamored by Hyunjae’s innate ability to make every moment memorable. He saw the world in a way that left you inspired. Through his photography, he taught you that beauty was found in the most unlikely places.  Like at a run-down flea market during sunset, or while walking past a vacant flower stand on a late night– the florist long gone after an honest day’s work. Overexposed shots of your hair dancing in the wind as you slump in front of a fan, trying to survive in the summer heat. 

He was always taking pictures of you. Initially– you hated it. You’d go shy or tense up when you saw him bring out a camera, on high alert when he brought out his phone. But over time, you appreciated it. Being his muse– being able to see yourself the way he saw you– helped you in areas that you hadn't realized needed assistance. Through your days in front of the lens, you've learned that you have a brilliant smile. That your hair harbored a different tone in the wake of a setting sun. Sometimes you’d catch yourself anticipating the camera on days when you knew you looked your best, growing confident as more time passed with him by your side.

Now, more than anything else– you both are beyond comfortable and obsessed with one another. Your ears perk up when you hear the bedroom door creak open and the way you immediately step out of the bathroom to greet Hyunjae with a face covered in skin care products proves the aforementioned sentiment.

Coming over to kiss him sweetly, you briefly melt into his firm arms and as you lean back you swipe your thumb over the gray dot of mud mask that sticks to his nose with a chuckle.

“Aww…” Hyunjae coos, taking in your spa headband and the little strip across your nose. 

“No…” you groan, shielding your face away from him and his predictable nature.

“But you look so cute, right now.” He whines, peeking from behind the camera while his fingers hover over the button.

“No, I don’t. I look like the moon emoji” you mumble back.

“What do you mean? Hyunjae asks, looking at you with a clueless squint.

“You know, the one that’s like…”  you give a side glance to look more like the little gray icon.

There’s a small flash of light as the shutter clicks and Hyunjae chuckles as he looks at the tiny screen while you stand stunned that he tricked you so easily. You playfully push him in response, causing him to laugh harder and you can’t help but join him, finding his antics funny. 

You kiss him on the cheek before heading towards the bathroom. 

“I’ll be right back.” You announce with your back turned. “Don’t miss me too much,” Hyujnae calls out absentmindedly, eyes fixed on the camera in his hands and you smile at the remark as you walk onto the cool tile floor.

You come back to him with a washed face and a silly smile embossed into your pretty features. Bounding onto the bed, you allow Hyunjae to tug you into his arms. He peppers you with kisses, lips smacking against yours a couple of times until he’s pulled a wide smile and a few giggles out of you. 

“Wait– stay right there,” he says and you groan but your smile only grows wider.

“Don’t you get tired of taking pictures of me?” You ask, looking him over in amusement as you honor his instructions, holding your current angle. “Nope,” he replies, twisting in his spot to grab his polaroid camera. “Maybe when you have a hot girlfriend, you’ll understand.” He jokes, sending you a flirtatious look over the top of the camera while his finger turns the camera on with muscle memory.

Your laugh is accompanied by the roll of your eyes. Hyunjae presses the shutter and you ready yourself for the flash, relaxing thereafter as the camera goes to work.

The whirring of the film getting developed halts your joking, Hyunjae carefully plucks the film out and shakes it in his hand gently once it pops out of the top of the camera.

Falling further into the comfort of his pillows, you smile up at Hyunjae, observing the way he looks at the picture. His eyes were soft as he swept over the image, the arches of his cheeks raising slowly as a smile blossomed on his lips. For whatever reason the sight struck a chord within you.

“You really think I’m beautiful, don't you?” You voice the thought without realizing it, not until Hyunjae’s gaze shifts to you and you're taking in the sincerity in his eyes as he speaks. 

“Of course.”

He doesn’t say anything else and you didn't need him to. Not when he’s looking at you like you’re the only thing that exists in the world. The only thing worth gazing upon. His hand trails its way into your hair and you look into the lens again, relaxing under Hyunjae’s touch as the shutter clicks again. You shift slightly on the bed as Hyunjae inspects the second polaroid the same way as he did the first. He puts the two pictures on the nightstand for safekeeping before leaning down to kiss you on the lips. 

With your arms looped around Hyunjae’s neck, you steal more kisses off his lips until he drops the camera onto the bed and climbs on top of you. The kiss deepens as one of his hands roams down to grab at your waist and pulls your body closer to his while he props himself up to keep from crushing you with the other. He lingers on your lips, pressure changing from soft and teasing to hard and wanting once you wrap your leg around his hip.

You stay like that long enough for your heart to mimic the rapid thud of Hyunjae’s heart rate.

When Hyunjae pulls away from the kiss you’re left wanting more, grabbing at his shirt in an attempt to bring him back but you stop when you notice what he’s doing.

He hovers above you with a polaroid camera in hand. “Just one more. Your lips look perfect,’ he murmurs as he lines up the shot and you lick your kiss bruised lips before giving bedroom eyes to Hyunjae through the lens. You hear the sound of the camera going off and the flash follows before the whirring begins. You watch patiently as he studies the picture with a smirk on his lips. His hand moves smoothly up and down your bare thigh as his gaze flits across the film. 

It was hot seeing him like this, so obviously turned by what he’s doing– by you.

His hand comes up to caress your neck before falling lower, squeezing your chest over the thin fabric of your tank top and you pick up on how he bites his lip before finally tearing his eyes away and placing the picture to the side with the others.

“Wanna take more?” You ask, gingerly tiptoeing into uncharted territory. “I mean… I’d be down?” You suggest lightly while looking up at Hyunjae’s face. His expressions bounce between confusion and surprise before settling on mirth and something else indescribable.

“Yeah?” He asks for confirmation, his voice suddenly low and velvety.

As you nod your head yes, you wrap your fingers around Hyunjae’s wrist and guide his hand down to rest at the hem of your top. 

His hand scrunches up the fabric, exposing most of your stomach as he dips down low to meld his mouth with yours hotly. He kisses you slowly, taking his time with you in a way that you’ve never experienced with him before. His hand slides up further, delicately cupping your chest as he sighs against your lips. The sharp sting of Hyunjae’s fingers digging into your skin sends a shock to your center and your lips part in a soft moan in response. His tongue brushes against the tip of yours tenderly as your skin pebbles under his touch. 

The kiss remains slow as he savors every last second of having you like this, nibbling on your lower lip before sucking the tender spot and kissing you hungrily. You lay slack underneath him, body and mind being led by the pleasure he pours into you with his sinful lips. 

Your back arches as he lifts your tank top up further, pulling the garment over your shoulders. Hyunjae’s hands fall onto either side of your cheeks, holding your face in place as he presses his lips onto yours firmly and warmth floods your chest. His hands travel down your neck and sweep across your shoulders as he drags his lips along your jawline. He continues his descent until he reaches a particular spot on your neck that makes you bite back a loud whimper. He sucks the sensitive area while you squirm underneath him with your eyes half closed. You shake out a soft moan, bliss surging up your spine as he moves to another spot on your neck.

He sucks mark after mark into your skin until you're nearly trembling and soaking wet with need. Your shoulders and neck are covered in splotches of deep reddish and purple hues that you can’t fully see but the look on Hyunjae’s face as he leans back tells you that look to die for. He drinks you in with a lust-clouded gaze, looking you up and down a few times before reaching out for his camera.

“Fuck– you look perfect like this…” he praises, voice imbued in admiration and want. He lines up the shot, standing on his knees above you and you can see just how much he’s into this.

You reply with a moan and glance up, giving the camera a heated look before the camera flashes. His hand comes into the next shot as he wraps his fingers around your slender neck. You catch his dick twitching in his sweats as he takes a second picture with you posed like this. Hyunjae doesn't wait for the film to come out before casting the camera to the side. He yanks at your shorts and underwear, pulling them off of you quickly with your help. You spread your legs wide for him while he works his way out of his clothes. He’s back on you hot and heavy the minute his cock is free, settling between your legs as he devours you with an intense gaze, tracing your form lustfully. 

“Eyes on me, okay?” He orders softly, smoothing a hand over your bent knee lovingly as the other snakes its way up your thigh, leaving behind a sweltering tingle that lingers on your skin. 

His fingers sink into your wet heat and a sultry moan rings through his bedroom. Hyunjae rocks his palm back and forth, two fingers curled upwards against the soft walls of your pussy. You coat the digits, eliciting the sloppiest noises that you’ve ever heard from your wet cunt but you couldn’t be bothered to be ashamed about that in the wake of what he’d just put your neck and shoulders through. 

He picks up the pace and your legs fall open further as a long sigh leaves your chest. You obediently keep your eyes open, trained on Hyunjae while he works you over. The look you share is a charged one as he fucks you with his fingers, his determined gaze contrasting your unbridled blissed-out state. Your swollen lips part as you pant his name, pleading for him not to stop.

Hyunjae blindly grabs ahold of his camera, never stopping the steady rhythm of his deft fingers urging you dangerously close to an orgasm. Your toes curl and your legs tremble as he readies the camera. He lifts it until he’s got the right angle. His biceps strain and sweat trickles down his arms as he pumps his digits in and out of you while rubbing your bud rhythmically. His arm is getting tired but he waits… and waits, finger resting just above the shutter as he waits for the right moment. The one where your face scrunches up and your pussy tries to choke his fingers. He fingers you with just the right amount of pressure to grow the feeling inside you until it bursts–

The shutter goes off and a flash brightens the room.

You toss and turn as you cum all over Hyunjae’s fingers, moaning loudly as he fucks you through it. Gradually his pace slows just enough to gently bring you down from your peak. His fingers slip out of your sloppy folds and he licks them clean without a second thought before retrieving the polaroid from its slot. 

You shiver through the aftershocks of your high while you come down further. “How’d it turn out?” You ask, still breathless. Hyunjae looks over to you with dark eyes and you swallow under the passion in his gaze.

“Unreal,” he replies through a husky tone before setting that picture down beside the others. He climbs back on top of you, kissing you repeatedly as he lays his warm body flush with yours. Your legs tangle with his while you make out and your dainty hands mess up his hair as you roll on top of him in bed. You straddle his hips in haste, desperate to ride him but he clamps his strong hands around your waist freezing you in place.

“There's a shot that I want to get,” he hesitantly admits. 

You look down at him with an endeared smile. You knew him well enough to know what he wanted. He always say you look so pretty sucking him off. “Okay, baby,” you say, shuffling down the bed until your lips are inches away from his cock. 

Hyunjae groans, tilting his head back into the pillows as you take him past your lips. You don’t tease, dipping your head forward to ease more of his cock into your mouth while your tongue glides down his length. Your lips tighten around him, sucking in on your way up and swallowing around the head before gliding down again.

“Fuck–

You grind your nose into his pelvis when he reaches the back of your throat and you feel him squirm in bed. You let up again, going slow as you cover his entire cock in your spit. Hyunjae fists the bedsheets and hisses at the sight of you–  his cock, dripping with the attention that you’ve lavished it with, tucked between your plush dewy lips. You sink his cock into your mouth again, moaning as you sense him preparing to snap another picture of you. 

Your eyes begin to water as you take him to the back of your throat a few more times, looking up at Hyunjae just in time to hear the shutter go off again. You close your eyes and hum, sending another shiver of vibrations down his cock as he tries to check out the picture.

All you hear is shallow gasps for a while as Hyunjae holds the polaroid up to his face, coaxing you up and down his length with his other hand.

“This one is golden,” he rasps, voice ragged and thick with pleasure as he bobs you up and down his cock for a bit longer, entranced by how sexy your eyes look in the picture. You suck harder, swirling your tongue around before Hyunjae gently pulls you off of him by your hair.

“Let me see?” You ask, sitting up and straddling his lap as he places that picture to join the rest.

He just shakes his head. “We have to round out the set first,” Hyunjae teases, hands going to rest at your hips as he lines you up with his stiff cock. Placing your hands behind you on his toned thighs as you lift your hips, angling them to catch his cock between your wet folds before you lower yourself onto him. You sit on his cock in one fluid motion and sigh. He feels so good– the sweet slide against your walls as you’re filled making your head spin. You rock forward, leaning back against your arms for leverage while you rock back, savoring his thick cock pressed against you. You raise your hips and drop back down, moaning at the feel of his cock teasing your needy cunt. 

You circle your hips while you bounce in his lap, slamming your hips down harder with every motion. Your head tilts back as you ride him, so satisfied yet so greedy for more, hips beginning to roll faster. Hyunjae tightens his hold on you before matching your thrusts, sending his cock as deep as possible causing you to cry out in abandon. You bounce faster, breathing ragged as you start to work up a sweat, a sheen covering your stomach and thighs. Your skin slaps against Hyunjae’s as you move in sync, connected as one as your bodies heat up.

His fingertips press into your skin, as he takes control, lifting you up and down with only the strength in his arms. Hyunjae fucks you nice and slow, dropping you down on his cock and sliding you off so you feel every inch of him leave your insides.

“Fuck Jae,” you moan, core aching for release just when he’s decided to slow things down.

“Sorry, sweetheart. You look so good like this. I don’t wanna rush,” he whispers, licking his bottom lip as he looks up at you– still dragging you up and down his cock like you weighed practically nothing.

He doesn’t forget the camera, reaching for it with one hand while you take over once more. You slide down nice and slow before raising your hips, pausing at the top when he tells you to.

“You look fucking incredible, baby.” He says as he takes the last shot.

The shutter clicks and you carefully push the camera out of Hyunjae’s hands, feverishly crashing your lips into his a second later. He immediately falls in line, kissing you and giving you exactly what you’ve been waiting for. His arms circle your back as he holds you close and pounds into you. 

You gasp and writhe, taking all that Hyunjae gives you as your thighs give out. 

Pleasure and fatigue build, and build within you, threatening to overflow as he continues his onslaught on your pussy. He snaps his hips into you with unprecedented strength, and thrusts rough and careless, eliciting nothing but filthy sounds out of you.

His pace picks up, strokes falling out of rhythm as he chases his climax. 

The steady push and pull of his cock filling you up crowds your senses. Your mind goes hazy as you focus on how good Hyunjae makes you feel every time. Pushing your body to places that you didn’t think it could go. You clench around him as another huge orgasm shuts down your body.

When you finally come to your senses, you notice that you're sore and covered in sweat. You feel kind of gross, but there's nothing that could make you abandon your place on Hyunjae’s chest right now. 

You’re so tired that when you try to speak, your words come out as syllables abstractly strung together. The last thing you’re aware of is Hyunjae’s cool lips pressed against your forehead as you drift off to sleep.

-

In the morning, you wake up sore. The marks that litter your neck and shoulders are a little tender and you feel like you did 200 sit-ups and 300 squats right before bed. 

Hyunjae wasn't around, but you weren’t surprised by that– he never missed catching the sunrise at dawn.

As you sit up in bed, the stack of polaroids from last night catches your eye and you leap out of bed to sift through them all. The first photo is so innocent that you chuckle, knowing where the night led you. You glance through the rest, cheeks heating up at how bold you are in front of the camera. 

You flip to the last picture in the stack and can’t help but swoon. You set the stack down, covering the unfiltered pictures with the one of Hyunjae kissing you on your forehead while you were fast asleep.

[taelophone]

Kitchen Fire

Joost Klein x Reader! TWs: RPF, tooth rotting fluff like omgggg W/C: 2207 A/N: I loved writing this sm thank you to the requester ily <33

Every full 365 days, the spotlight shines on one individual for their special day. Granted, many individuals around the world at once, but still. And today was all about you!

Joost was all about making sure you felt special and loved every single day, but he pushed sooooo much harder on your birthday. And today he decided he wanted to do something special for you!

“Good morning pineapple….” He started, giggling like a child as he shook you gently up out your sleep.

“…Looking very good very niiiice…” you chuckled back, barely even halfway awake. “Good morning, my dear..!” You smiled, rubbing the leftover sleep from your eyes as you went to sit up.

“How did you get in?” You smiled, knowing damn well you locked your door.

“Don’t worry about that, schatje, it’s your birthday!” He beamed, giving you no time to process before he sweeped you up, carrying and spinning you bridal style around your room.

“HAPPY BIRTHHHDAY TO YOU!” He sang, eagerly tossing you around as you giggled at his surprising amount of energy at 7 in the morning.

“Thank you, thank you!” You giggled, letting him pepper your face with tiny kisses.

“Go get ready, I booked a little spa day for you in like…an hour.” He smiled, placing you gently on your feet.

“Oh, okay then! Let me go get dressed.” You nodded, darting off to the bathroom to get ready for the day.

You knew that Joost probably went through a lot of labor to book your schedule up, considering he hates phone calls. But he still did it for you!

But what you didn’t know, was that the moment you were out the door, Joost was gonna completely takeover and decorate your house. He had big plans.

He laid down on the couch, his stomach pressed flat against the cushions as his long legs kicked up in the air while he waited for you to leave.

“You sure you don’t wanna go? I can pay-“

“Stop right there,” he murmured, raising a palm. “You’re not paying for anything. Much less a spa day for me.” He smiled.

“I have a lot of things to do at my computer, so I’ll be here when you get back and we can order some food.” He lied, watching you closely as you hobbled over to him and pecked his cheek.

“Okay…” you sighed, smiling at him lovingly. “I love you!! Bye!” You squeaked, closing the door behind you with an eager squeal.

He snickered at your joy, equally just as happy that you were happy. He waited about 10 minutes to make sure you were really gone before he got to work. 

He didn’t go too heavy on the decorations, as he didn’t want the cleanup to be horror for you two later. He hung up cute pink and white heart streamers, pink ribbons, and a massive paper sign that read ‘Happy Birthday’ with a collage of Joost’s many doodles.

He smiled, proud of his work before scurrying off to the kitchen, phone in hand. He scrolled through Pinterest, leaning back against the counter as he bit his bottom lip.

Joost had never been a cook, much less a baker, but he really really wanted to try for you.

Cakes with bows, Victoria cakes, sponge cakes, upside down cakes, fuck it, cake cake. He grew a little pale, the vast amount of cakes suddenly clueing him in on how little of a cakewalk making a cake would be.

He swallowed his anxiety before settling on a nice, simple raspberry jam Victoria cake. It looked easy, so he went straight for it.

He tossed the ingredients for cake in one big bowl, mixing them all together at once. The counter was riddled with flour, eggshells, and powdered sugar. It seemed as though no matter how much Joost mixed the batter, it never seemed to come to.

It was clumpy, but somehow still thick and…almost gelatinous. When he brushed against the counter, he could see the strange mixture jiggle and jitter. He cringed, staring down into the bowl as he fought back giggles.

He sighed, pulling out the circular baking pan and lined it with waxy parchment paper. He stared at the oven with genuine confusion, examining the little settings and knobs carefully before turning it up to the max, and tossing it on the top rack.

He wasn’t sure how long to keep the cake in, so he set a timer for an hour just to be safe. 

While he waited for the cake to finish, he cleaned the kitchen and did the dishes before plucking the raspberry preserves from your pantry.

He sat down next to the oven, welcoming its warmth as he occupied himself with his phone while he waited for you to come home.

Somewhere along the wait, the gentle warmth from the oven lulled his senses to comfort, threatening his eyes with a long nap.

And before he knew it, he was asleep.

You on the other hand, had been enjoying your entire day to the fullest. After your much needed spa day, you did some shopping at a cozy and pink stationary store you had been eyeing for a while. You even got a free pack of pens and a small plush keychain in honor of your special day!

You went store to store, milking absolutely every birthday deal to its death until around 6:30.

You made your way back home with over 200 notifications and achey arms from all your bags as you eagerly pranced through the front door.

“Jooost! I’m- oooh!” You rang, immediately admiring the decorations that hung from the walls. The afternoon sun beamed rose gold rays of sunshine through the windows, casting a gorgeous light over the shiny ribbons and bows as you walked through the house.

You tried to take in the scenery around you, but you could hear shuffling in the kitchen and smell smoke.

“Joost? You okay?” You cooed, setting your bags down on the floor and making your to the kitchen.

He stood by the counter, his hat bunched up in his hand as he stared at the brick literal molten charcoal on the counter. 

He turned around, holding the pan with two layers of oven mitts. “I tried to make you a cake, but…I can’t cook.” He smiled sheepishly, a light pink dusting the apples of his cheeks.

You giggled, watching as what was revealed to be a cake struggle to not explode in his hands. “It’s alright, love, thank you. We can make a cake together.”  You giggled, taking off your bracelets and the pretty little silver ring Joost had gotten for you awhile ago.

“Alright, what did you wanna make baby?” You asked, setting out the ingredients again, along with two bowls.

He rested his chin on your shoulder, watching as you set up the materials. “Victoria cake…” he hummed, wrapping his arms around your waist.

“Ohhh, ok, ok.” You nodded, adding the softened butter and sugar to one bowl. “Ok, so you cream the butter and sugar first. You can’t just mix everything together at once. It’d work if it was a box cake though!” You explained, adding a pinch of salt to the now off-white and fluffy butter.

“Then you mix in the eggs after you beat them.” You nodded, cracking 3 eggs in the other bowl and mixing them together until they were well incorporated. You poured the eggs in with the butter little by little, mixing it together with a spatula.

“Do you want me to get you a whisk?” Joost asked, staring at the bowl in wonder. The dough wasn’t even finished, and it looked so much better than his did.

You shook your head, humming a small “nah.” You finished adding the rest of the eggs, fully stirring them into the fluffed butter. “When you use a whisk, it makes the butter and eggs separate. And that’s not what we want.”

Joost nodded, staring over your shoulder with childlike wonder and curiosity. “I didn’t know you could bake..?” He murmured, watching as you sifted the flour and baking powder into the bowl.

“Eh, I used to watch my mom in the kitchen.” You shrugged, giggling at the fond memory. “I would stare at her for a little while…I probably looked a lil crazy.”

“But it taught me a lot, so.” You shrugged, folding in the dry ingredients and smiling. “All done! Can you put this into two of the little circle baking sheets for me, please?” You beamed, handing him the bowl of light and fluffy dough.

“Yes, thank you.” He smiled, eagerly plopping half the dough into a baking pan before retrieving its twin from the cupboard and repeating the same process.

“It’s so fluffy…” he murmured, spreading out the dough evenly with the spatula. “Can I eat this?” He asked, waving the spatula around.

You stared at him with a raised brow, fighting the smirk that threatened to mark your face. “Sure, Joost. Why not.” You giggled.

While he ate the remnants of the cake batter, you sat the cakes in the hot oven and set a timer for 30 minutes. “I feel a little lazy, so I’m gonna do a really quick whipped cream for the cake.” You shrugged, unearthing the heavy cream from the back of the fridge.

“Babe can you hand me the hand mixer?” You asked, not knowing Joost had been standing half a centimeter behind you the whole time.

“Of course.” He murmured as the spatula hanging halfway out his mouth. He whisked around the kitchen momentarily before returning to your side, the little black mixer in his hand.

“Thank you!” You cooed, propping the mixer up securely on top of a random can of coconut cream. You gently placed the bowl under the whisk, poured the heavy cream and sugar into the bowl before turning the mixer on.

“Did you just DIY a stand mixer…?” Joost asked, genuine curiosity laced in his tone as he watched the heavy cream whip itself.

“I told you, I’m lazy.” You giggled. “It’s my birthday, I’m allowed to do this.” You nodded, walking out the kitchen and plopping down on the couch.

He hummed, staring at the makeshift stand mixer for a moment before joining you in the living room.

A few beats of silence passed by as you sat together, scrolling on your phones and enjoying each other’s presence before you spoke up.

“Wanna get changed with m-“

“Yes.”

You giggled, making your way back into your room to change into some comfy clothes as Joost followed behind you just as eagerly.

You emerged a while later, fresh faced and giddy after having done your night-time routine. You adjusted the pink strap on your hello kitty pajama pants, glancing at Joost’s matching pair as he felt the fluffy fabric underneath the palms of his hands.

“The cakes should be ready now!” You smiled, slinking into the kitchen and bending at the waist to stare into the glass door of the oven.

“…Yep. Think so!” You cheered quietly, slowly opening the oven and basking in its gusty breath of heat.

The smell of warm vanilla and confectionery goodness wafted through the air, filling your house with cozy comfort.

Joost stood closely behind you, watching as you took the cakes out of the oven and sat them onto some parchment paper.

“Alright, just put the raspberry jam on this first layer and like…spread it around.” You nodded, stopping the mixer to see perfectly stiff and fluffy whipped cream.

Joost nodded, slapping the sweet, sugary goodness down onto the first cake and doing his absolute best to spread it around evenly.

Once he was finished, he giggled eagerly before shaking your shoulder and pointing to the cake.

“It was harder than I thought, it was very sticky.” He murmured, watching you as closely as humanly possible while you gently added the whipped cream on top of the raspberry preserves.

“Baking is so deceiving!” You giggled, placing the top layer on the cake once the bottom layer was all done.

“Alright, I’ll let you place the berries and stuff on top for me.” You nodded, handing him the little carton of raspberries and blueberries.

And he took that job so seriously.

You watched him delicately place each and every berry in one specific place, rotating each fruit until it looked amazing. He was so engrossed in decorating the top that you weren’t even sure you could hear him breathe through the deafening silence. 

When he was done, he pushed the cake over to you and smiled.

“Ta-daaa!” He whispered, chuckling under his breath as he leaned his hip against the counter. “I made it for you!”

“Sure you did, Joost. All you.” You chuckled, rolling your eyes.

“Now you have to make a wish.” He murmured, taking out an I heart Joost Klein lighter from his back pocket, lighting in a safe distance away from your face.

“So conceited. Who has a light of themselves?” You chastised, but giggled nonetheless.

“Because everybody loves Joost.” He nodded, watching as you closed your eyes and blew out the flame of his little lighter.

“Happy birthday. I love you.”

“I love you too!”

[evilvillain123456789]

baby don't get mad at me but I fuckcing hate you & I can't go to the spa with you tomorrowcause I had already planned weeks ahead to take a bunch of probiotics and force the captive little redwall mice geronimo stilton familys what fucking ever it is that we found a whileback cowering in the pantry- you know this already bitch- to bounce on my tummy for a couple hours while I fart it all out. & I told you and you scheduled this shit anyway wasted your $$ because you want me to change my mind change my plans change my briefs but fuck no. I only have this. I wouldn't give this up for the world.

[bluespiritshonour]

Somethings I noticed:

Katara, Suki and Azula are the only ones who haven't ever expressed any sort of misogynistic sentiment.

Aang would come a close second with minor mishaps here and there.

First, the girls:

Ty Lee, while fighting the Kyoshi Warriors: you're not prettier than we are.

Girl, where did that come from?

Mai has several instances of this when she says the Kyoshi Warriors’ uniforms are too girly (I don't mind her not liking how colourful they are; that's totally different) and later lowkey slut-shaming Ty Lee. And while she's rightfully unimpressed with Zuko's seashell (she's right Zuko, step-up your game) she could easily have countered his “Don't girls like these stuff?” the way Suki did with Sokka’s ideas about gendered generalisation. Also, you must have noticed that Mai's feminine too. She's just dark feminine to Ty Lee's light feminine.

Toph: she has absorbed a lot of toxic masculinity that's for sure. She isn't feminine, she light-heartedly teases Katara for being feminine and Aang too. She does give off the “one of the guys” vibes. You know which ones I'm talking about. “Are we going to watch two little girls fighting?” and later mocking Aang for his passivity.

But it is to be noted that Toph manages to do this without being racist to Aang. She's the one who mocks him the most about his pacifist beliefs (which are cultural to him) and she's kinda misogynistic the way she goes about it. But she's never racist to him. (I guess she is in the comics but fuck the comics). Even when Aang was really really nasty to her when Appa was stolen and she had every right to be mad at him—she wasn't. Given her age and her sheltered upbringing Toph's surprisingly mature. But I digress. Among the comics, I love the Lost Adventures only—and I love the spa day Katara and Toph have both in those comics and in the show. It feels like Toph's healing from that internalised misogyny? My reading of it is that just like girls in real world, Toph derides femininity because it has always been a chain to her. Her parents forced her to confirm so she hates it. But being friends with Katara probably let her heal that part of her. She's still not as feminine as Katara and mind you, nor should she be—let some girls never want to be feminine—it’s fine. But she learns to not to act out of a place of hurt.

Sokka: Sokka's misogyny was literally a plot point and he overcomes it. Also he and Aang have actually done drag and not been mocked for it. It's rare to see in media. The only other example I can think of is Good Omens.

His misogyny also feels kinda surface level (as opposed to Zuko in whom it's less obvious but seems more deeply ingrained).

Also. Zuko never did drag. Shame on him.

Aang: is the least misogynistic of the boys. The only instances I can think of are either kinda vague: when he tells Sokka that “It's nice dress!” It's kinda ambiguous if his tone was mocking or complimentary but it upsets Sokka nonetheless. And when he's upset at being played by a woman in Ember Island Players. The first time I watched it I felt it was OOC. But he was also kind of justified as it was racism and misogyny combined on behalf of the Fire Nation in portraying him that way.

Phew. These were purely my own opinions simply by the virtue of gender expression meaning different things to different people. I might say Mai is actually quite feminine while Toph isn't... But what even is considered masculine or feminine?

I love Katara and Toph's spa day because Toph learns that being girly wouldn't kill her—but she also doesn't suddenly become Ty Lee levels of feminine either. Some women just don't wanna be feminine. Oftentimes it's because femininity is derided by society itself—and that's something that one needs to heal from, like Toph did with Katara’s friendship—but everytime I've seen a story like that, the girl, upon realising that femininity isn't a bad thing is suddenly hyper-feminine.

Like, can we have them heal from internalised misogyny and still not wanna be feminine—even though they don't consider it bad or embarassing or fickle anymore?

Toph and Katara’s spa days do it perfectly.

When those girls mock Toph and Katara tells her she's pretty, I can't tell you much I loved it. The same feelings toward Suki’s “I am a warrior, but I'm a girl too.”

[actuallysaiyan]

Kinktober Day 3: Double Penetration(Fuck around, get tongue tied...)

warnings/kinks: double penetration, oral sex(male receiving), vaginal fingering, boobplay, threesome, vulgar words. word count: 1.3k pairings: Hidan x Fem!Reader x Kakuzu teaser: “Is this part of your stupid religion, Hidan?” Kakuzu asks, his brows furrowed. Hidan laughs, “Oh and here I thought you didn’t fucking care about that.” taglist: @beneathstarryskies @loki-love @witchofcustom @dreadsuitsamus @pyrofanatic @butterflieskeepcominback

Being their partner was never anything you had planned on, but when you joined the Akatsuki, you didn’t have much planned. It was a spur of the moment decision after you defected from your village. With your family killed by the same ninja clan you had trusted for so long, you knew you couldn’t stay there.

Kakuzu is a little more on the mean side, but you still enjoy spending time with him on missions. You try to listen to him as much as possible, but Hidan keeps you both on your toes.He’s mischievous in the best way possible, but you know it drives Kakuzu crazy.

You’re finishing up an important mission when Hidan begins moaning about being tired and how he wants a place to stay for the night. Kakuzu becomes quite irritated, but when you mention being tired, he finally gives in.

The first inn you find is quite luxurious. There’s a bar and a spa, and the room you rent is quite big. Kakuzu is angry that he’s had to spend the money, but seeing you relaxed is more of a reward than he ever considered. The feelings he’s developed for you over the time you’ve been with him surprise him greatly.

What he doesn’t know is that his partner feels very much the same about you…

That night, after taking a long bath, you settle in the room with just a robe on. You’re sipping some sake and laughing at some dumb joke that Hidan made. He smirks at you, knowing he’s going to get you buzzed then he’ll make his move.

“Do you have any idea how fucking cute you look?” Hidan asks, sipping his own cup of sake.

This little comment makes Kakuzu choke on his own saliva. He’s sitting at the desk in the corner of the room, counting his money and budgeting to make sure this little stop isn’t going to cost him more than what he paid for the room. He turns to spot you and Hidan cozying up together. He hates the way you look so dazed right now.

“Is this part of your stupid religion, Hidan?” Kakuzu asks, his brows furrowed.

Hidan laughs, “Oh and here I thought you didn’t fucking care about that.”

You swallow hard as you realize that these two might get into an argument. And whenever that happened, you always had to be the mediator. Kakuzu growls and pushes himself away from the desk. He walks over to you and Hidan, snatching you away from Hidan.

“Awh come on, can’t we just play nice? She could be a fun little fucktoy,”

Hidan’s words make your heart skip a beat. Is this what all the fuss is about? You look at Kakuzu, who now has you in his arms, and he seems quite determined too.You shudder as the realization of what was to come next comes over you. Hidan takes this opportunity to snatch you back, placing you firmly on his lap. His lips are on your neck, making you moan.

“There’s a few ways this can go,” Hidan mutters against your skin. “What way do you want to be fucked, pretty girl?”

You swallow hard, unsure of how to even respond to that. But if you said you never fantasized about this, you’d be the biggest liar in the world. How often did you think of them taking turns with you? You would lay in your bed at night, just touching yourself to thoughts of Kakuzu fucking you or Hidan pumping himself up into you.

“W-well,” you say, “what if I took both of you?”

Hidan cackles loudly, clearly so impressed by your answer. Kakuzu remains silent, but there’s a new look in his unique eyes. He likes where this is going.

“At least someone has smarts,” Kakuzu says as he lowers his mask. You gasp when you see his mouth. “Don’t worry, this will be good for you as much as it’s good for us.”

Hidan laughs, “I fuckin’ doubt it! This is going to be so damn good!”

Kakuzu is quick to pull on the knot keeping your robe together, and Hidan is urging him on. Once you’re exposed to the pair, they both know that they can’t hold back any longer. Any feelings they both have for you will soon become very apparent to you. And you won’t be able to hide your own feelings from the pair.

“Look at those fuckin’ tits!” Hidan exclaims, squeezing your breasts hard. It makes you squeak. “Damn, she’s built like a little sex doll.”

Kakuzu groans, but he has to agree. You’ve got such a sexy body. He then leans in to capture your lips in a hungry kiss, making you gasp at the sudden feeling of their moves.

With Hidan squeezing your breasts and Kakuzu now playing with your exposed pussy, you’re sure you’ll come undone easily. This is exactly how you pictured it. Shaky breaths and moans slip from your lips as the men take their time stimulating you. Between Kakuzu’s heated kisses and Hidan’s lewd comments, you’re in heaven.

“What’s that little pussy like? Big enough for the both of us?” Hidan asks, spreading your legs a bit more.

Kakuzu laughs in a dark way, “Sure, if we want to tear her apart.”

You can’t see Hidan’s reaction but you know he’s more than happy to hear this. It’s true, you haven’t had many lovers. Your little hole is quite tight and not broken in.

Hidan drags you onto the bed, spreading you out for them both. Then he crawls on top of you after shedding his clothes. You barely have time to take him all in before he’s kissing you like his life depends on it. You’re just enjoying yourself when you feel something tap your cheek.

You look over and Kakuzu has his cock out, and he’s smearing the pearlescent fluid onto your cheek and lips. Hidan begins playing with your pussy before he uses the tip of his own cock to tease your dripping hole.

“Take us both, darling,” Kakuzu says softly, and it warms your heart that he’s so good to you.

Hidan thrusts into you, making you cry out and fist the sheets. Kakuzu uses this as his way into your mouth, and soon you find yourself filled with both men to the brim. Tears well up in your eyes, and Kakuzu reaches down to wipe them away.

“What a good little cocksleeve,” he praises, and your walls pulse around the cock in your pussy.

“Fucking tight little whore,” Hidan says as he begins riding you even harder.

All of these new sensations send you into a daze, your mind almost blank but the feelings of both men penetrating you sends you closer to your own climax. Hidan seems close too, but it’s hard to tell when he’s just so chaotic and everything coming from him sounds like an earth-shattering moan.

It’s not long before Kakuzu pulls out from your mouth, and he maneuvers you so that you’re on your hands and knees. Hidan lets him move you to the best position and he settles under you, ready to penetrate your little pussy once more.

You scream when they both prod your tight hole with their cocks. You can feel just how thick Kakuzu is, but Hidan has the length. You try to tell them to slow down, but neither of them hear your little pleas. If anything, it seems to be spurring on Hidan even more.

“Just let us fuck you,” Hidan says, slipping into you. KakuZu is stretching you out as well, and you’re so amazed that they both can fit inside of you.

You feel Kakuzu’s hands on your ass, rubbing and caressing. Then he leans in and you feel his long hair tickling your back.

“Don’t worry, little one. We’ve got you,” 

His praises make you feel even better. But something tells you that this won’t be the last time you’ll find yourself in this position…

[barry-j-blupjeans]

Angus was a good detective. The best detective, if he could say so himself. Good enough for the Goldcliff Militia, good enough for the Bureau of Balance. But there were still mysteries that completely eluded him. Sure, joining the Bureau had cleared some things up. But it also opened up so many more questions. Angus could— and has!— filled several notebooks up with things he wanted to figure out. But right, his most pressing concern was this.

"What do you— what do you mean he was just here?" Angus said, looking away from his notes at last.

The Director was sitting behind her desk, sunk deeply into her chair. She wore a look deep… something. Angus couldn't quite place his finger on it. But it didn't matter right now.

"He was just here," the Director said again, shrugging.

"Is he—he's not inoculated?"

"As far as I'm aware," the Director said, "and I am very aware of who is and isn't inoculated— he has not been."

"How can he live up here—?"

"Who's to say he's alive?" the Director asked.

"…fuck," Angus said. Okay, new page. He started scribbling stuff down. He'd have to look into undead beings more— ooh, maybe Mr. Taako could put him in contact with Mr. Kravitz, he had been wanting to ask a few things about his whole job and purpose and such. Back on topic, Angus, back on topic. Okay. The Bureau's library was probably his next best bet and if not, maybe the Militia's library, since he still had that passcode.

"If I may speak honestly," the Director said, leaning forward. She moved a few sheets of paper aside. "I don't give a fuck how he got up here because, quite frankly, I hate speaking to him. The less we interact, the better. Have you heard his voice? The man sounds like a violin that got beat into a pile of chopsticks. It's not—"

"So you just let him stay?" Angus interrupted, appalled.

"Garfield the Deals Warlock is not a force to be reckoned with, Angus," the Director said gravely. "Sometimes, the easiest way to solve a mystery is to stop thinking about it."

"Well, yeah," Angus said. "But he's— isn't it a security risk, ma'am? If he can get up here, then who's to say someone else couldn't? Someone like— like a Red Robe, or—"

"Angus," The Director said, looking him in the eye. "There are no Red Robes on the moon."

"That you know of," Angus said.

"That I know of," the Director allowed. "But I can one hundred percent assure you that Garfield is not a Red Robe."

"He has the magical ability—"

"He's as much of a Red Robe as you are, Angus," the Director said. "So unless you have something to share—"

"I was— it was a goof, Madam Director," Angus said. "I'm— I'm not a Red Robe." A pause. But could he be? If the Voidfish could erase the memories from his head about the relics, then maybe. But, no— no, Angus had been a baby. He couldn't make a weapon of mass destruction as a baby.

"Mine was also a goof," the Director said, cutting into his thoughts. Oh. Right. Okay. "Angus, I do very much enjoy chatting with you, but I do need you to get out of my office. I'm afraid to say that I have a spa appointment with Merle this afternoon and I need to mentally prepare myself. I think it would be wise for you to stop investigating Garfield and resume looking for another Relic."

"Of course," Angus said. "But if I happen to find anything about Garfield being a— maybe like a lich, or—"

"Can't be a lich," the Director said. "He'd just get blasted off the ding-dang moon."

"I'm— I'm sorry?" Angus asked.

"It really is time for you to go," the Director said, standing. A few of her bones popped and she grimaced. "I believe you left off with the, uhm, the Temporal Chalice, correct? That is— that's a pretty big one." She rounded the desk, doing a sweeping motion with her hands as if to say "shoo!". "I'm sure you can manage, though."

"Of course, I can," Angus said. "I'm the—"

"World's greatest detective," the Director said. "So you've said— and proven, too. Expect a hefty bonus around, uh— midsummer. Or thereabouts."

The Director showed Angus to the door.

"How big of a bonus?" Angus said, shutting his notebook.

"Well, it'll ruin the surprise if I tell you now," the Director said. "Have a good day, Detective McDonald."

"Have a good day, ma'am," Angus said. She shut the door behind him.

Angus love being a detective. That's part of why he was so good at it. But it seemed like every time he and Madam Director spoke, he ended up with more questions than answers. Maybe she was right. They had bigger problems than whatever Garfield the Deals warlock was. Or used to be, if that was anything. He should get back to finding the Chalice.

He paused, opening his notebook again.

It wouldn't hurt to look up more about liches, though. Just in case.

[pigfacedbitch]

Comfort

summary : what would your boyfriend do if you had a bad day at work/school?

word count : 0.7k

type : headcanons

pairing/s : Modern! Gwaine / Merlin / Arthur (Soldier, Poet, King😂) x Reader

warning/s : asshole bosses / professors lol

here is my masterlist!

Note : Why is life so tiring? Sometimes, I just want to lay down and sleep. Slight NSFW on Gwaine's part .

Gwaine

Gwaine is evidently high-spirited but pouts like a kicked puppy when he sees you sad.

He may be a little unfamiliar with comforting someone but he knows that having fun can revive someone's soul so as a way to comfort you, he will offer a night of distraction and pleasure (I know what you're thinking and yes, you are right 👀).

From here, it depends on what you want to do. Gwaine will enthusiastically go with the flow.

You want to stay at home and play games? He will gladly lose to monopoly, uno, scrabbles, or any board games you want to play.

Gwaine is also a reliable player two in online games and will shout with you when another player is performing poorly.

"How can you miss that shot?!"

"What my love said, you muppet!"

Want to watch a movie? A pillow fort with your favorite movies, snacks, and soda coming right up!

Warning though, if you want to go out and party, don't. As loveable as he is, Gwaine is a party animal who has little self-control. He WILL get drunk before you and you have no choice but to drag his ass back to your home.

Last possible activity? Doing the deed. Might fuck the stress and sadness out of you until all you can remember is how good he made you feel, just saying. Anyways, enjoy! 😚

Merlin

This sweet baby boy will serve you like a queen, no joke.

Merlin will immediately know you had a bad day as he welcomes you in your shared home, already wrapping his (big and strong🫢) arms around your tired body.

He won't say a word but you'll know that he offers comfort by how tight his hug is, slowly soothing your hair, and gently kissing parts of your face.

"What's wrong, love?"

And boom! Here comes the waterworks. He will let you cry and vent as he leads the two of you on the sofa, lying comfortably there until you are done.

You might even take a short nap. Merlin doesn't care if you covered him with tears, drool, or snot; as long you feel better.

He will wake you up with your favorite home-cooked meal prepared on the table then taking you to the bathroom for a relaxing bath.

There would be scented candles, bath bombs, mellow music, skin care products— the whole nine yards. And no, you don't have to move. Merlin will do everything for you unless you want otherwise.

He will give you a massage on the bed after that, saying words of encouragement and support.

If you ask him to use his magic, he will. He will show you anything you want; from the wonders of the world to the vast beauty of the cosmos.

He hates using his magical abilities on you but as you fall asleep in his arms that night, he whispers a spell that will surely give you good dreams and an even better sleep.

Arthur

Let's face it, Arthur can be... oblivious at times.

Unlike Merlin and Gwaine, it will take a little longer for him to realize you feel like shit.

The Pendragons are very wealthy, and it sometimes compensates for the other qualities they lack.

He may not be as cheerful as Gwaine or provide you a satisfactory service like Merlin, but he can give you anything you want.

You want to go to another country? The private jet is ready. You don't even have to pack a bag, Arthur will buy new clothes for you.

He will let you choose the hotel you'll be staying in and book all the activities you want to do such as tours in the wildlife, scuba diving, spa days, and many more.

You want comfort food? The best chef in Albion will be brought to your home at once, paid heavily to cook whatever food you fancy.

You want materials things, jewelries and dresses? Even stationery? You got it. Arthur doesn't care how much you spend, he's practically your sugar daddy. 😂

If you just want him by your side, he will let you hug him like a koala bear to a tree and listen to your complains.

However, watch your words or the people you mention. Because Arthur will see to it that they will be dealt with, money comes with influence after all.

"So that's why they are being overly nice to me!"

"No one messes with the love of my life."

[bogleech]

31 Days of Bizarre Movie Monsters Wrapup Tumblr Post

Deep Dark: the monster is a sexy hole and not really the villain.

Vanishing on 7th Street: the world is consumed by darkness, literally.

Vivarium: human cuckoo birds still not sure how to take care of the humans.

Tetsuo the Iron Man: repressed homosexuality might give you rocket shoes.

The Babadook: sometimes trauma is a weird guy.

The Autopsy of Jane Doe: when a dead witch is actually neither thing.

The Empty Man: psychic cults, tulpas and a hare-brained human internet. Ties in with a short comic series that provides more essential lore.

Smile: sometimes trauma is where a weird guy lives.

Little Otik: a piece of wood thinks it’s a baby, but doesn’t get it quite right.

Rubber: a tire kills people in a confounding meta-meta narrative.

Honorable Mentions I: some monsters that didn’t make it in.

The Ritual: a fucked up deer thing might be a norse demigod? This wound up the most normal monster in the list and could have probably stood to be a different choice, but I had fun reviewing it.

Galaxy of Terror: please pick up after your children before going extinct. The only movie I included that’s considered “so bad it’s good.”

Eraserhead: he’s just a little guy :(

Amulet: weird bats, a mollusk goddess of revenge and a truly horrific final twist.

Event Horizon: the famous “spa

ceship possessed by hell” movie. She just wants to go home, that’s all.

In the Tall Grass: this time the Stephen King monster IS the midwest. A field of grass warps space/time to torment intruders.

It Follows: about a sexually transmitted stalker.

Honorable Mentions II: more movies that were left out of the main feature.

Malignant: also just a little guy but also kind of a prick. An atmospheric horror film that (intentionally) becomes cheesy horror-action.

Incarnation: a single mom vs. a forgotten goddess in a heartwrenching and creatively immersive found footage film.

Possum: about a man and his terrifying puppet, but neither are the real monster.

Await Further Instructions: a toxic family are prisoners of their television.

Terrified: ghostly encounters that are really something completely different.

The Tingler: doctors hate him! Local man discovers the weird bug that lives in everybody’s vertebrae.

Oculus: mirror hates people, dogs and houseplants, may be most unbeatable antagonist featured.

Fiend Without a Face: the original “tentacled brain” monster movie and more.

1408: rude customer vs. sadistic trickster god hotel room with multiple, equally canon endings.

Pontypool: the most “abstract” monster in the entire feature.

Ring: a weirder horror franchise than most people actually know, and Sadako to begin with is weirder than most people remember.

Ana and Bruno: like I say at the end of the review, it’s a more touching Toy Story meets an even darker Babadook

[sammygems]

ight, as promised, i said that when the favourite straw hat outfit poll ended, i would share my personal favourite and least favourite outfits for the straw hats, and then i forgot to do it, so here it is now!

uh, disclaimer, these are my PERSONAL opinions, you do not have to agree with me.

i'll also say that as of making this post, i am still in the pre-timeskip, right at the end of thriller bark, regardless, i will be including outfits from post-timeskip, i just haven't seen them wore IN the series yet. i'll also give little reasonings for them!

Luffy

Fav - Raid on Onigashima

i'm pretty sure the raid on onigashima episodes were coming out right around when i started getting into one piece and i think this was probably the main outfit i saw Luffy in at the time, plus i just like it! i like the cape, i like the sash, i like the colours, it's a slay!

Least Fav - Wedding Suit from Hancock's fantasy

might be cheating to say this one, but like, i just don't really like it. for one, he never actually wears it, and probably wouldn't want to wear it either. also just, not a big fan of Luffy in all white.

Zoro

Fav - Main Post-Timeskip outfit

I have no reason really, i just like it.

Least Fav - Main outfit Pre-Timeskip

now, i don't hate it, i'm just tired of it. Zoro. please. wear something else, i beg.

Nami

Fav - Victorian vibes shirt from Thriller Bark

it's just so cute, i love it so much, the shirt vibes me victorian vibes. Nami's thriller bark outfits in general are so slay.

Least Fav - Slave outfit from Heart of Gold

don't like it. 1. she's enslaved (again), 2. it feels fetish-y and makes me uncomfortable

Usopp

Fav - Zou Arc Outfit

I don't know why, i just think he looks cute!

Least Fav - Main outfit Pre-Timeskip

again, same with Zoro, i don't hate it, but i'm tired of it.

Sanji

Fav - Raid on Onigashima Suit

Sanji just looks fine as fuck in burgundy. plus the gloves? chefs kiss

Least Fav - Film Gold beach/bathing suit(?)

this feels like a mess to me, Sanji did you get dressed in the dark while blindfolded??

Vivi

Fav - Ceremonial Dress

she looks so cute and pretty in it!

Least Fav - Levely/Reverie dress

there's something about it that i just don't like and i'm not sure how to explain it or what it even is exactly

Chopper

Fav - Enies Lobby

the little leather jacket is so cute on him

Least Fav - Obahan Time

eh

Robin

Fav - Water 7/Enies Lobby

iconic, slay, beautiful, gorgeous, queen, i love the leather. picking a fav for Robin was very hard for me.

Least Fav - Slave Outfit from Heart of Gold

same reasoning for me not liking Nami's. she's enslaved & it feels fetish-y and makes me uncomfortable

Franky

Fav - Strong World

the leather jacket is chefs kiss

Least Fav - Whatever this is

this feels wrong

Brook

Fav - Strong World

hippie 70s grandpa vibes

Least Fav - this (from Spa Island)

i feel uncomfortable

Jinbe

Fav - as the wiki calls it "Wano Departure Outfit"

i just like it, i think it's cute, i like the skulls :)

Least Fav - Film Red Elvis fit

just not a fan