#i genuinely appreciate it and get a lot of joy knowing that ppl get joy from my art!

[furbs]

peeks my head into this blog

i miss.. furbys and customizing furbys

[dilxcs]

❄️ appreciation post ❄️

i’m sorry this is so late,,, i fell asleep shortly after 00:00 :’> anyway, i’ve seen some of my lovely moots do this and i wanted to do it too! first and foremost, i’m so sorry if i didn’t include you. my brain is functioning on alcohol and the leftover effects of my medicine lmaoo

these are the moots i interact with the most, which is quite impressive for my doing since i suck ass at socialising 🥲

@matcha-ji : my eonni, my galaxy and the universe. i absolutely fucking adore and love you. i’ve been shitty with responding this month and yet you never once got angry at me. in fact, you always take the time to remind me how much you love me and all the good things i deserve. i read every single message and even though i may not respond immediately, pls know that it means a lot to me. you mean a lot to me. always have and always will! this year has been a good one bcs of you! i finally got to meet you in person and i had the loveliest time with you in london (even got a matching tattoo with you, that i look at each day). you’re the most caring, selfless and loving person i know and our discord convos about whatever comes up in our mind (mainly wakaben and bajishin lmaoo) brings me so much joy! you brighten up my life and gave me purpose when i lacked it. i love you so so so much and hopefully i get to visit you soon in your home country (or you can visit me 🥴)

@asunflowerana : my sweetest baby bun! fuck— i have missed you so so much and you don’t even know how much i smiled when i saw that you came back on tumblr! i always wonder how you’re doing, if you’re taking good care of yourself and if you’re not being too mean to yourself about school. you are the epitome of an angel and no i’m not even exaggerating cause you truly are! ji can vouch for me if you don’t believe me 🥴 tbh i miss our convos in the server with ji and liv and i hope that maybe we can pick it up again. ofc i know that we’re all busy but maybe we can have a quick phone call soon like we used too!! you always support me with whatever i’m doing and you’re so genuine with your feelings! you are the sunshine in my life, a reminder that not all things are bad. you care so deeply for your friends and you aren’t scared to share your love! i understand why mitsuya and bokuto adore you so much, cause hello?? who wouldn’t?? i sure as HELL adore you to the moon and back! cheers to yet another year and i love you so much bby 🤍

@myalbedo : honestly you’re so special to me. one day i will steal you away from albedo so he better watch out, cause fuck— i adore you so much bubs! i know that i can always talk to you and that you have my back no matter what! you show me so much love for who i am and i find it so fucking cute how genuine you are and how much you appreciate and show your love to your friends! it’s truly refreshing to have someone as dependable as you are and god you’re also so strong bby! i hope that this year will be nicer for you (or i’ll commit arson)! anyway, i love you so much bubs and pls know that if something is bothering you that you can always talk to me! i’m here for you. always 🤍

@kaeyatos : my dearest and most beloved eris!! last time you reached out to me privately and your message warmed my heart a lot! you always and i mean always have your friends back’s and i truly love that about you! you aren’t afraid to speak your mind and call ppl out on their bullshit and on a hell site like tumblr it’s honestly nice to see ppl who are still true to themselves and their morals! truly admirable! i love you so much and i adore our convos! like we don’t talk all too often but when we do it makes me smile brightly!

@kita-dynasty : we don’t talk as often, but i know that it’s okay and that you’re not someone who would take it too seriously! i still remember our first convo in lia’s server and how we talked about iwa being in a band and playing ‘DiE4u’ by Bring Me The Horizons. or remember our convo about a certain ‘worm’? 👁 anywayy, i got the pleasure of asking for a comm from you (the one with baji) and i still absolutely love it! you’re so talented and passionate of the things you love and i admire that! also, thank you for yesterday when you helped me out with farming for chests and bearing with me and my lack of skills gsvshsb

@dilu3 : you’re so cute. i love it when you get all excited about different things that fascinate you in the moment. your fics are subliminal and i’m rlly sorry some shithead keeps reporting them. honestly, if i could, i would perish them all for you. anywayy,, i also love when you share your comms! they’re always either rlly cute or fucking hot, no in between. you have been the sweetest to me since i have met you and i thank you for that, love. also, the way i get giddy whenever i see your url pop up in my notifs hehehe 🥰

@twdottore : we don’t talk outside of tumblr, but just like the others, i know that it’s not something either of us would get mad at. your fic series is absolutely insane (in a good way), like i can tell that you do your research on certain topics you write about and that you take your time writing each chapter until YOU are satisfied (quality ≠ quantity)! i honestly wish i could write longer fics or even series like you do and you actually inspire me a lot even when i don’t say it often +++ i love your characterization of each character you have written for so far! like it feels to me like you know them all down to a T! you’re always being sweet to me and i hope you know how much i love you!

@nyaaaaanma : plsss i adore you so much! whenever you tag me in anything blue lock related (aka any reo content) i giggle like a teenage girl with a crush. like, the fact that you see for example fanart of reo and immediately think to tag me is so cute to me hdvshsbs. also, the moodboards you make are so pretty and aesthetically pleasing! i still have them all saved on my phone (with mostly baji, *que surprise noises* lmaoo)! i remember the moment you followed me back and send me an ask with a lil shy kitty pic and i kindofmaybeperhaps fangirled a bit, cause i would often see you pop up by my moots so honestly it felt like i already befriended you hehehe pls never change babes <3

@kazuwhora : kc, my lovely baby. you inspire me so much to be my honest self. the way you stand your ground against injustice and prejudice is truly admirable. you have shown me countless times how caring you are. like, i particularly remember the time i got shit from baji antis and you never ceased to shut them up for me and reassuring me that i didn’t do anything wrong. you’re so unapologetically yourself, pls stay that way bb! i know that last year gave you some hardships and i truly hope that this year you will have it way easier, cause hell you fucking deserve it! i adore you love!

special mentions to new moots: i haven’t known y’all for a long time, yet all of you have been so incredibly sweet to me since day 1 and i hope to get to know you all this year better and become good friends! and ofc the moots i don’t talk too much too, but i know y’all have my back: i adore all of you so much! just like the others, all of you either make me laugh out loud, swoon bcs of your fics or feel loved by your genuine and lovely personalities! thank you and i love you 🤍 - @portfolio-of-dreams @planetxiao @romiyaro @minxsane @sugr @suyacho @asmology @sleepy3 @darlingimawitch @itoshi-s @jotatetsuken @oo-mi-ru-oo @suyacho @haitani-plague @kenslilove @tunamiya @violetsoju @marism @blueparadis

[beautifulhigh]

I have a question for you that I really hope you'll answer. But if you think it might start discourse you'd rather avoid, I understand if you ignore this.

So I love both OG and LS and I follow a bunch of popular blogs in both fandoms. but so many of those folks watch only one of the two shows and are pretty rude about the other one, by insulting cast members and making fun of even the popular well-received storylines. often they don't tag such posts in any particular way so there's no way to filter those out. I sent a few of them asks requesting if they'd tag such posts. Some agreed to but they haven't actually done it. I've seen you interact in a pretty friendly way with some of those accounts and I'm wondering, how do you do it? Everyone always says to unfollow but I genuinely don't want to miss out on the other posts these ppl share. I enjoy those other posts. It's just these particular posts that diss the shows that I want to avoid but can't. I've tried ignoring it, I've tried laughing it off, but I don't think I'm very good at managing my emotions because I always still end up feeling low and negative when I see such posts. How do you manage to interact with people with opinions you clearly don't share? I'd really appreciate any tips. I really don't want to withdraw from these two fandoms but I don't know how to remain while also maintaining a healthy emotional state.

Firstly, I'm sorry this has happened to you. I really am. And I want to stress that this reply is 100% around my experience and the way I have curated my fandom experience, and YMMV. I hope that it doesn't vary too much but this is how I deal with it. I'm going to tag a few people in this, people who I have on my dash, purely to illustrate the diversity and how you can approach things.

I'm also going to pre-empt things and say that if you read a line and you get mad at me for that one line, I want you to do two things. Firstly, I want you to go outside and touch grass. Secondly, I want you to maybe read the full thing and engage some level of critical thinking before you start yelling at me that I'm being inconsiderate because you have a grass allergy so how DARE I tell you to go touch grass?

Also, because I want this to have a bit of a reach and I know people do curate their dashes, I'm going to be a bit sneaky with how I refer to things to actively circumvent any filters. Should make sense what I'm actually referring to but if you're not sure then please ask.

Step one

Curate your experience. I mean this. One of the few joys of this hellsite is that you are in control over your dash. You can't control who people on your dash reblog but you can start with who is on your dash. If you don't want to block anyone then you can filter by blog names and install add ons like Tumblr Savior.

Step two

Remember why you're on this hellsite in the first place. Chances are it's for fandom purposes. And, given the premise of your ask, I'm going to focus on the TV element of it. So you're here because you like one or both of the weewoo shows and you want to share thoughts and ideas and reblogs of gif sets of people who are WAY too pretty to just be out there like normal people. And because we're hardwired that way, we want to seek connections with people. So we follow blogs and we talk to people and we have our mutuals and we message then and chat with them and we develop relationships with them because we all watch the same TV show.

But – and this is the point that I think a lot of fandom forgets. It's a fucking TV show. That's it. A silly little show which is 99% designed for entertainment and distraction. I am not ignoring the fact that there will be parts of both shows which have impact above and beyond the show, but Ryan Murphy et al did not set out to make shows with the primary goals of changing people's lives.

It is a TV show. It isn't actually life or death. So the first thing you need to ask yourself I have represented in a nice little flow chart with ALT text:

Negative and hateful ideas

Yes, it's a TV show. But that doesn't stop shitty people saying shitty things. I love that both OG and LS have a diverse cast. I love that both of them explore difficult issues such as addiction and a sense of self-worth. I love that both of them have characters who are tragedy magnets and are both dealing with an entire back story of guilt and grief and a sense of failure and so we are rooting for them to find the self-worth that we know they deserve. Is this Evan? Tyler Kennedy? Both of them? Maybe Eduado, or Carlos? Both captains have their tragedy stories.

But what I'm talking about here is people making comments that are, no matter your views or stances, way out of line. Be them about the characters or the actors, you know exactly the kind that I mean. Commenting on the ethnicity, gender, sexuality of characters/actors. Making statements about race or religion. The Big Stuff that most of us know is way out of line.

So if someone is hating on "Buddy" because one of them is of Latinex descent? Screw you, step on a Lego. If you're hating on "Tarlus" because both of the actors are queer? You can fuck right off now. If you dislike Hen's storylines because she's a proud, queer black woman? Sit on a spike. If you want Paul to shut up and go away because he's trans? Walk off a short pier.

If you wish Owen had less seggsy and screen time? You'll find friends in both camps! But that's about the character and the storytelling.

A good rule of thumb is: can it be changed? If no, don't be a bitch about it. Oliver can't change his birthmark, Alisha can't change her skin colour, Rafael can't change his sexuality, Brian can't change his gender identity.

But they could write "Buddy" as queer. They could write Owen not drooling over some woman. And so we are going to have and express opinions over this.

We know where those lines are and those are the ones we have to draw. We have to shut down those voices and make it clear that they are not welcome because a) we need to make sure there are more safe spaces than there aren't, and b) we need to send the message that this kind of hate isn't OK.

Now where fandom seems to have an issue is where it comes to different opinions. This is because we equate what we like with who we are, and for many people fandom is a part of their identity as a person. There are so many reasons for this – good and otherwise. You see yourself represented in the show, the characters. The storylines resonate with you. It got you through the worst time in your life. You met amazing people because of it. Fandom is a good thing, it truly is, and it exists BECAUSE people take shows and characters and storylines to heart.

So if you come at the fandom then it feels like you're under attack. But you're not. Have another flow chart, also with alt text.

And I'm going to tag my wonderful friend @capseycartwright in this because she hates LS with a passion. I would go so far as to say it's probably visceral? Still follow her, still love her, and I still read her "Buddy" fics because she's an amazing writer. And the reason for this is because there isn't a single comment she makes about LS that is personal or hateful or spiteful. She just doesn't like it.

Now even if she did make a post saying "anyone who watches LS is dumb" I'll still follow her. Because if I follow my flow chart, even though I would call her a friend and maybe say I know her? She's not someone I'm related to and I don't have to deal with her on the day to day. Also she's not saying "Jen is dumb for liking LS". Even if she was, still not related so whatevs.

I'm also going to tag @paperstorm who isn't an OG fan, doesn't watch it at all, isn't at all shy in expressing her opinions on anything. If OG stuff crosses her dash she doesn’t engage. [Edited to clarify]

Now when @capseycartwright makes a post about LS, one of two things happen. Most of the time I just keep on scrolling. She's expressing her opinion about a show she doesn't watch, doesn't like, and has picked up on something that she's commenting on. She's not saying anything awful that would be picked up on the first flow chart so why do I care? I'm not going to get her to change her mind and honestly? It doesn't matter if she does or she doesn't.

I may comment – like I did on her wedding post – if I feel I can offer something to help explain something. She posted about "Tarlus" not cancelling the wedding so, as someone who has watched the episodes and had the information, I pointed out that they were absolutely going to do that but even the grieving widow was all for them having it go ahead.

The trick here is to be respectful. If I come at her with "well ACTUALLY" then it's not going to work. I just dropped in, said my bit, then left. People are still going to think the wedding shouldn't have happened - hell, there's people in the LS fandom who feel like that.

Could it have been written differently? Yes. So opinions get to be had and respected so long as they're respectful, as per the first flow chart.

We can debate if they should have gotten married in the episode. I'm not debating their right to get married.

When @paperstorm responds to an OG ask about something, same principle. Is she being hateful? No. Can I add anything to help explain/clarify? If yes, do it then move on. [Edited for clarity]

Be the change etc etc

If I wanted to start a fight, I could drop into the tags "OMG Buddy/Tarlus is awful and the characters deserve so much better". And people who have made fandom a huge part of who they are will take that a lot more to heart than people who haven't. Only you know where you fall on that spectrum.

Most people are not going to change their minds. I'm not going to be able to convince @capseycartwright that Tarlus are endgame and get her signed up to the "Peaches and Cherries" crew. I'm not going to convince @paperstorm that the OG crew are a wonderful example of how the love of your found family can help you rebuild and find strength with your blood family. And neither of them are going to convince me to bail on the other show!

Fandom doesn't recruit through arguments. Fandom recruits through gif sets and fics and metas and all of the good stuff that comes out of enjoying a show. Fandom grows through people sharing their love of a show and the characters involved in it. It doesn't recruit and it doesn't grow through arguments.

So if people are saying stuff you don't agree with, so long as they are not hurting anyone? Let them. Why are you ruining your peace and your enjoyment yelling into the wind? If you don't follow them and you're only coming across them because they are tagging their hate so it shows in the tags, then realise they're doing it to get the reaction from you. I'm not letting that petty win so I will keep on scrolling. And if it's on my dash? Well then I will just check that they've not decided to indulge in some -ism statements, and then I will keep on scrolling.

Because fandom is supposed to be fun. It's supposed to be uplifting. And there is enough shit out there in the world right now without yucking someone else's yum. Even if you don't understand it. (I don't understand how anyone can eat mushrooms, but I'm not running around a restaurant knocking them off people's plates.)

We like different things. We like what others dislike. And there are so many ways for you to find room and balance those things in your life if you want to. If they don't want to then that's their issue, not yours. Think about the friends you have IRL – do you share every single interest with them? Some of my closest friends are huge Drag Race fans, but not once have I had an issue with them discussing it in our group chat or making plans which exclude me for them to go and see shows.

I don't care that @capseycartwright is a huge Buddy fan. She loves them, it brings her joy, and so I love that for her. I love that she has something in this world which brings her enjoyment, even if I don't share it.

I don't care that @paperstorm doesn't like OG, and I'm pretty certain she doesn't care that I do.

What I do care about is whether it matters in the grand scheme of things. And honestly? More of fandom doesn't matter in the Big Picture than does. It matters when we use it to do great things. It matters when it helps people feel seen and heard and represented. It doesn't matter when your ship isn't canon/gets married.

tl;dr – if people are being deliberately shitty then the block button is your friend. Otherwise, why does it matter if someone has a different opinion to you?

I know this has gotten stupid long, but I wanted to do it justice because you seem to be struggling with it. And if you ever want to talk to me off anon then please do.

[yuukei-yikes]

im a casual kagepro fan 😔 i used to be REALLY REALLY into it like in 2014-2016 to the point that kid me actually like. celebrated August 14/15 every year with various gore-themed baked goods. and then i went to college and dropped out of every fandom forever :(

but it's ok i hope, bc i follow you in hopes of regaining my former fervor and un-casualing myself :) just sitting here reveling in your hcs and drawings and trying to remember who everyone is lmao (could never forget the main cast but for some reason i always mix up kenjirou and some other guy . but i think they are different guys.?)

anyway not much of a point to this ask but yea i appreciate your enthusiasm a lot!!

HIIII god thats so awesome. i got into kagepro when i was a kid too (i was 13) i just never got out of it.... it makes me happy im helping u revisit it!! and i hope u get to feel the joy of analysing every single pic u see.

u probably mix up kenjirou and clearing eyes/saeru or as u probably know it, kuroha (we stopped calling it that a while ago!!) snake = eye power. clearing eyes is the evil snake that ends up possessing kenjirou and later on haruka/konoha's body hence the kuroha but its just a snake possessing both kenjirou and haruka's bodies. thats probably who u mix up?? or the other side character grown man is tsukihiko, azami's husband and marys grandfather. erm. hope this helps❤️ i love overexplaining kagepro ❤️

also honestly i made that post just to say im embarrassed i wasnt serious abt the Dont follow me thing LOL anyone can follow me! and tbh i do follow a lot of ppl BECAUSE they are super into a specific thing i know nothing abt, particularly bc i know what it's like to be so dedicated to something and share to a niche audience for the fun of it... I Get It and it makes me so happy to see people do it bc to me its the most genuine!!! so itd be hypocritical to be like NO!! DONT FOLLOW ME IF UR NOT A KAGEPRO FAN 4 LIFE!!!! but also dont judge me and let me be cringe

[bokettochild]

Since you seem to be the LU mom, if it's okay I wanted to ask.

I've never done actual fandom interaction before and don't know how Tumblr works beyond this . . . So how should I go about posting my little doodles and interacting with the people i've been seeing bring such joy to my life w/o being weird? I have never actually done internet stuff really so any advice would b very appreciated.

(I also just want to let you know that you make me smile when I check Tumblr and see you ^v^)

First of all, thank you so much, that's very touching and sweet!

Secondly, use the tags. i would suggest that if you post art that you would use popular tags used in the fandom in order to make sure people who follow those tags are most likely to see it! It can be hard posting something you worked hard on and never getting any recognition for it because no one can find it, so find what tags are applicable and use them. Typing #lu (one of the boys' names) usually works pretty well, but be sure to use the main fandom tags as well!

As for interacting with people, reach out. When I first started, I was in awe of everyone and hesitant to tag, comment on, or even reblog their things because I didn't want to upset them or seem weird (most ppl irl find me offputting or odd). Some creators are too scary to interact with at first because they're big or impressive, but that's okay. Interact with fellow artists or blogs that share your interests! If you have a favorite of the LU boys, look in the tags to find which blogs post about them most and then try messaging them to talk about your shared interests. I can guarantee that we love to talk with anons/followers/mutuals about shared loves :)

Please be respectful and understand that there will be some times when disagreements happen. People don't hate you for having other opinions, as long as you're respectful (most of the time, sometimes they do, but those are the ones to avoid anyway). Just make sure to be polite and not bash otehrs and you should be all good!

(Bashing others playfully is okay, but I'd wait to do it until they know you so that they can tell you're messing around, otherwise they might feel genuinely hurt)

Lastly, have fun! Don't stress a lot, and if you're feeling stressed, maybe sit back and do something else for a bit. Also, none of us are crazy cool (some are cool, but they're also totes chill) so don't worry too much over stuff!

Hope this helps! And welcome to the fandom!

[newstolgiazone]

I just wanted to say that your blog makes me so happy idk I just thought I needed to share my appreciation :^>

oh my god thank you so much :') running this blog gives me literally SO much joy. i adore nostalgiacore SO so much and i love all the little subgroups that fall under it. i'm also gonna use this ask to elaborate on how i run my blog and what i look for in the things i post

i personally try to post a large variety of things that people may remember. i noticed theres actually a lot of AFAB nostalgia, lots of sparkles, pinks and purples, ruffles and dolls, etc etc. and i want to try to keep OTHER sub-groups active (such as the 90s-2000s tech, old television, certain pieces of fashion, celebrities and music videos, and designs and patterns people may remember)

ironically another thing i sometimes look for when posting is "would people want to eat this". and i dont mean food, i mean like the things we remember shoving in our mouths and chewing on as kids when we proooobably werent supposed to. like rubbery clothes for dolls, or dolls themselves, buttons, marbles, orbeez, small figurines like shopkins or littlest pet shop, etc etc.

this is in my pinned but idk if ppl actually notice those so i'll say it here: i also post a LOT of things from pinterest. theres such a large variety of things on there that are nostalgia related and they're linked to dead blogs here on tumblr or they arent linked here at ALL. i want to avoid at all costs reposting A. things i've already posted and B. things OTHER people have posted. i truly just want these immortalized in our community and if its already here then theres no need for me to post it.

i like to post a lot of personal nostalgia. things other people may not personally know of, like, or relate to-- but I DO. when i created this blog i used it almost as a canvas to get all the memories out of my head to be able to reflect on them. i had so many nostalgic memories that i didnt know how to verbalize them all, so i didnt. i visualized them all here. since then i've started to post a LOT more than just that, so there will be the occasional post that some people just.........dont get.

and lastly, there are the things i know we ALL remember. the nostalgia thats so universal that i dont even have to GUESS if YOU, THE PERSON READING THIS have experienced it, because i just know you have. its good filler for the blog and its good to use if theres a specific photo i need to use, but may have JUST posted. this Universal Nostalgia fits perfectly because then it doesnt matter if my next posts doesnt relate to all because my last post DID!

basically, i love nostalgia. i could genuinely live in it. i love the y2k, the kidcore, the techcore, the dreamcore, the way it hits the right spot in my brain to transport me back to all the good times in my childhood, the way it makes the light look ~just a bit brighter~ somehow

[sawsession]

just a con diary entry ig, look away LMFAO

anyway never getting over this con and cosplaying riz bc people were genuinely so excited to see him!! like i've gotten lots of compliments and pictures of my other cosplays, but only once before have i had someone litrally yell in surprise bc im cosplaying a character they love. (the girl who recognized my ai in 2022 and yelled "AI!" i will never forget you). but with riz it was like, every couple minutes i'd hear "RIZ GUKGAK?!" or "omg are you riz??!?!". like dear convention goers, there are so many fantasy high fans out there, we couldve totally done a meetup lol

Also this is most ppl have like wanted to talk to me. as in, they were so excited to see someone cosplaying riz that they had to talk to me about fantasy high, and it was so so soso sososososoooo fun bc i love hearing ppl talk about things they love!!!! i wish i wasnt so bad socially cause i totally wouldve talked w ppl more, but i get too nervous that im overstaying my welcome lol

there was a person selling in artists ally who was super excited to see me and they gave me a free sticker kjdfhsjkfsh shaking and crying, it was so fun y'all ppl love this silly little goblin

and the business cards were my greatest idea ever btw, ppl LOVED them. the last guy i gave one too said "of course you have business cards" LSJKFSKLJFS the reaction was either something along those lines or like a yell or gasp cause like omg riz's business cards... i just wish i had sturdier paper lmfao

in 2022 i put so much work into Ai and it really paid off, i loved the costume and i got so many compliments at the con, almost entirely from ppl who didnt know the character but appreciated the costume. with Riz I literally put maybe one weekends worth of effort into it, and had just as good of a time. i think it was nice to experience this to balance out the part of my brain that wants to put months of effort into my cosplay every year. some years thats nice, but not every year lmfao

so much happened i feel but also it can all basically be boiled down into people were so excited to see me. i went in expecting to give out like 3 business cards and probably gave out at least 20. not everyone that recognized me got one, but most ppl did. also getting called "the ball" by fellow con goers was so funny and wonderful

it was very fun and cute to run into a group of friends cosplaying adaine, fig, and fabian (the fig had a crochet baby and i litrally GASPED it was so adorable!!!) cause it was like omg no doubles.... 4 out of 6 bad kids isnt too bad hehe. also the adaine cosplayer had a little boggy on their shoulder!!!!! anyway. perhaps thats part of the joy too, ive never done a character where i was able to meet other ppl cosplaying in their series and like get super hyped about a picture together hehe

last note i think, perhaps part of the wonderful experience is bc this is also the first time i felt like i could actually somewhat personify my character. the business cards definitely helped with that, but riz is a character where it is so easy to like not disappoint. like hes an anxiety ridden little guy and oh boy am i also anxiety ridden sfsjfklsjf. genuinely just felt comfortable as him and it was so much fun

anyway posting this as like a little diary entry to keep the post con crushing loneliness at bay lfkjsfklsjfskfj

[binders-and-beanies]

Mental health updates under the cut I guess (tldr I’m still not ok but am taking steps to keep myself safe or whatever)

Told my supervisor I’m in crisis and he was super understanding n supportive n whatnot. We both are trans and have mental health issues and work in an lgbt center so one would hope it’s safe to be honest abt that kind of thing but it was a relief bc it also opened up a conversation abt scheduling moving forward n me having like 2 or 3 days off a week as opposed to the current 1 or 0. Esp since higher ups want me to work less anyways im like that’s totally fine bc i have a million things to do outside of work all the time.

Other thing I did was cancel a workshop I was gonna lead next week and it was a really hard decision. I would have been proud afterwards and I’m worried abt having regrets but I’ve done the same workshop before so it’s off the bucket list or whatev. Person in charge of that was also super supportive for similar reasons as above. It doesn’t solve the problem of there always being too many things stressing me out, and I don’t wanna set a precedent that I can just not do my responsibilities, but it eases a big part of the stress this month specifically.

Ppl in my life are saying they’re proud of me for setting that boundary and it’s weird to be praised for bailing on smth when I’m also feeling big guilty abt it but I gotta remind myself that being flakey is absolutely normalized in society and if ur average person can do so on the regular then I’m allowed to take One step back once it’s gotten to the point where my safety is questionable. I’d like to get to a point where things don’t get that serious in the first place but I’ve also never rly appreciated feeling blamed for being in this kind of position when the kind of things I’m busy with are mostly 1) things that are required for survival and 2) things that make it feel worth surviving. As if this is smth i do to myself bc i just <3 capitalism or smth

Im stressin tho bc as mentioned earlier my job is at risk for unrelated reasons which also means a lot of other things are at risk. This is happening at the same time I’ve just lost my insurance and have my biggest ever college bill to pay. And now I don’t know where I’ll be living or what that will mean for my finances either. It would also mean it takes even longer to qualify for any kind of credit, and therefore an apartment.

Even if nothing happens and I just keep working here for another year as planned it’s like can I not get JUMPSCARED w my livelihood being threatened like there’s literally always at least one Huge actual life or death problem as well as many other less catastrophic but extremely stressful things to deal w. I’m tired of living like that w no relief and I hate that the best case scenario is this fear ends up being for nothing. I hate that I’m thinking abt what I’ll do in x y or z scenario for this summer and my masters if this falls through, instead of enjoying the relief of one less thing on my plate.

I hate that this is how I’m doing the day after my birthday. I had a fun birthday weekend and am grateful for the people I spent it with and the places I went but it didn’t feel like genuine celebration it felt forced, like I was doing it because I Have to have a good birthday. Bc if one of the most important days of the year isn’t joyful then where’s the hope of any other days getting better. I did enjoy it I just couldn’t Feel the enjoyment bc I’m so stressed and I had major breakdowns before and after my bday. It sets a bad tone regarding aging and I want to celebrate progress but it’s hard when the future is more terrifying every year.

I feel like even if all my problems were magically solved, my ability to feel joy is permanently altered and it’s hard to imagine feeling anything more positive than just like, relief and rest. Idk I say all that to say I’m proud of myself for taking steps to make life more livable just like I’ve always done but it also feels kinda hopeless like nothing I do matters if it’s gonna be constant stress regardless

[bronzetomatoes]

ik I literally just messaged you like two seconds ago, but I wanted to drop in some knowledge that helped me figure shit out, and subsequently helped my sister and mother too. And I hope it serves something for you too. There's a grand Game we all play when we're born, and everybody starts out on Level 1. Because of how the Game is set up, some people naturally can skip a few levels, and some people progress at a normal rate, but some people are genuinely worked against and have a really fucking hard time ascending levels.

The Game is just being social and making connections, and the Game was always rigged. The Game legit doesn't allow for stuff like plagues, social media, business changes, college, poverty, it was built one way and stuck like cement. But that doesn't mean that some people don't cheat the Game. Because they do, all the time, they have parents as professors in colleges, they're born into money, they're raised in politics, and can do whatever they want. They never learned how the Game was made. And they may never will, not until the Game crumbles.

Folks like us, for all of the reasons we have, we're set back a few spaces in the game. A lot of us were set back by COVID, some of us have deep rooted anxiety from those who cheat at the game telling them they'll never win, some of us are disabled and homeschooled, so on so forth. But the game isn't meant to be won, so we figure out how to play in a way that brings us joy

Talking with you guys brings me joy, drawing art and talking about hockey when I don't know jack about shit when it comes to hockey brings me joy, and I appreciate that a lot of you have patience with me when it comes to these things. I couldn't judge anyone for how they play this stupid game because I just like being here with you guys.

Sorry if this is absolutely long winded and not helpful at all, I didn't mean for it to get this long, but I also hope it does serve for something. No pressure to even respond, I just think about you sometimes and want to see you exceeding in the things that bring you peace

I think I'm gonna end up rereading this quite a bit. Cause I'm okay with being kinda bad at other games, and I still have fun in them. And I know some ppl w the most scuffed setups imaginable who still seem 2 be a couple levels ahead, but maybe they're just better at the game than I am. n that's alright. that's alright

[i-loves-2dguys]

KBTBB OC Headcanon: Birthdays

Eisuke

As much as she doesn’t get along with him, she still considers him a friend

She would talk to Soryu since he’s his best friend for present ideas

She decides to buy him a new tie

Doesn’t say anything when she gives him the present and avoids eyes contact

He genuinely looks surprised but takes the present anyways

He hesitates in opening it since he thinks it’s a prank

Once he sees the gift, he looks relieved and mutters a thank you

She nods and hides her smile with her hand

Soryu

THE LOVE OF HER LIFE NEEDS ONLY THE BEST PRESENT

She makes a huge list of all the possible things she can buy

Somehow a mansion is on it?

But all she thinks about is how grand she has to go for him

Goes to the bidders for advice

They all just looked concerned as she frantically paces back and forth

They tell her to think smaller and that Soryu would appreciate any gift

She takes a deep breath and nods as she thinks less outside the box

Remembers his love for omelettes, then races to the kitchen to make one

Fails a few times, but gets help from Baba

Finally a perfect omelette is made!

She waits for him to come home

Soryu walks in and sees his favorite dish and person

He walks up to her to kiss her cheek then enjoys his meal and her

Baba

What are you supposed to get a thief that can basically steal anything he wants?

Maybe a watch? He probably steals enough of those

Well he does love to cook

Maybe a cookbook? To the bookstore!

She finds one with recipes he can show the others in special occasions or just a simple dinner

When she gives it to him, he sheds a tear of joy

Best friends hug and look through the book together to see their favorite recipes

Ota

It’s already rewarding enough she’s being nice to him on his special day

But she still decides to give him a gift since Baba convinced her

What does this shithead like? Art? Dogs?

I guess some new brushes could work

She makes sure to research proper ones that are at its best quality

When she gives them to him, he’s terrified of her unexpected gift

A few days later, she finds a new piece of art in the penthouse labeled for her

It’s a faceless portrait of her, but the features are obvious of her identity

She keeps it in her room (but doesn’t say anything about it)

Mamoru

A lazy messy cop with no hobbies and sleeps a lot

What could possibly be fitting for him?

A Roomba perhaps to keep the mess at a minimum and prevent arguments

So that’s exactly what she gets

When she gives it to him, she has to program it for him since he doesn’t know how

They both cheer when it starts working

He names it “Jenn 2.0”

__________________________________________

A lot of you seem to like these lol I didn’t expect ppl to like reading about other ppl’s characters. I’ll keep doing them until I run out of ideas (or just switch to other games or shows).

Fun Fact: Baba’s birthday is 3 days before mine.

Thanks for reading, and thank for showing love and support!

[420pogpills]

hi! I think your stance on build mart is very valid! I don't think there's anything wrong with talking about how to improve games so that everyone enjoys it.

however, I do have to say, as someone who spends my entire life on the MCC reddit, most of the time it's the fans that get a bit overly toxic and exaggerate how many people dislike build mart. someone did a stats post where they analyzed the reactions of MCC participant toward build mart for the past few MCCs and it was about 40% disliked it and 60% were either neutral or enjoyed it. but it's really easy for people who watch creators who don't like build mart to say that the majority of people don't like it. shubble said on Twitter that there's been build mart discussion in the MCC discord and most people don't have strong feelings, and of course not everyone will talk about it publicly, but I would still argue that most people are pretty neutral, and they like it depending if their team is good at it.

this is a long way to say that criticism of games is valid, but so many ppl, and unfortunately a lot of dsmp fans, are overly toxic. Quig made a statement about death threats and Scott and Noxcrew are getting so much harassment about being biased towards Dream for not getting rid of build mart, or saying things like build mart will never be removed because Scott is good at it. and then of course, this type of behavior reflects badly on Dream, even if it's not his fault that people are toxic.

oh thank you!!! ❤️ i don't ever tend to contribute to mcc discourse because i really don't know what i'm talking about lmao especially in game mechanics so i was a bit worried about posting that but since this is coming from someone who seems to know a lot, i appreciate your ask so much!!! 😁

yes i absolutely agree there's a massive issue with toxicity in the fandom. and people will make things seem a lot worse than they are, like how you said it's give or take 40% of participants who say they dislike it, which is less than half. and i also know that not as many people hate buildmart in the same way dream or sapnap do for example haha, but my issue is that they do dislike it THAT much. and it isn't just them who do, there's a good handful of people who just genuinely feel awful about it, and that's what bothers me.

my problem doesn't lie with a majority disliking a game, my problem is with there being a number of people, even if it's an insignificant number, who feel so discouraged about the game that it genuinely takes away all joy that they may be feeling in the moment, or it drops the mood and morale of the team as a whole. even dream himself said that if build mart isn't rotated out or changed up for the next mcc, he probably won't participate, and i just think that's a massive issue with a game - that's not just dream disliking a game. that's someone genuinely not wanting to play a game that badly that he'd rather sit out a whole tournament, despite previously telling us that it makes him feel like a kid at christmas. that's why i think the current build mart is an issue :(

obviously anyone who isn't great at building isn't going to love the game, but i feel like every game should basically have a chance for someone to enjoy it in some form. and this opinion stands for every single game!!! there's pvp games that other people really dislike because they're better at building/problem solving/etc, and i think a lot of games could be revamped in some form to give everyone a fair shot of enjoying themselves! 😁 i hope that makes sense hehe

people who send death threats to anyone at all don't even deserve to have their opinion considered or listened to, so i just ignore those people. because i know if they think it's acceptable to do that - it means there is absolutely not a single thing they can say that will hold any form of intelligence. the fact that anyone does it, and especially over a minecraft tournament - a FREE minecraft tournament - is mind boggling. i don't think that's an issue with toxic mcyt stans though - that's an issue with genuinely immature and rather brainless individuals who think a death threat is ever acceptable, and i believe they would do it to anyone, in any setting. it happens in every single fandom, over the smallest and most insignificant things. it's just a goddamn shame it happens so much in this one. 😞

[welcometogrouchland]

penny for your spiderman thoughts? was it good?

"was it good?" what an excellent question! i know it elicited a sense of baffling joy from me. i tried drafting a full review with like a list and everything but tbh most of what i can say about it is that it surprised me with how much effort was put in to making it more than marvel's big gimmick movie. it still is that on some fundamental level but somebody in the writers room clearly wanted to make it more than just a 2 and a half hour marketing stunt. spoilers ahead but:

there is still the usual mcu problems there that i'd be remiss not to metion:

i really don't like the portrayal of elektro in this movie as sassy black comic relief. it rubs me the wrong way- there's a lot more you could be doing with that iteration of the character that the movie barely scratches the surface of. and while i appreciate Ned getting a bit more to do plot-wise he was treated as a joke a bit too often for me AND giving the character you're pigeonholing as spiderman's asian sidekick the mystical doctor strange powers (which have their own nasty layer of Orientalism to their potrayal) is. not good! especially with so little build up.

there is...also a very complicated moral debate that lies at the centre of this movie's plot that it does NOT want to give a lot of time and thought to, and which uses some...deeply uncomfortable language to me. also the shield on the statue of liberty is dumb as shit

but there's like. 50% less billionaire bootlicking here and also some. interesting course correction w/ spiderman that i wanna talk about in a sec so put a pin in that

the main thing that stands out to me is that the characters from the old movies feel like characters and not gratuitous cameos. Andrew Garfield gets a nice little moment that wraps up some stuff in his arc and both spidermen feel like significant mentors to peter. shits low-key kinda heartwarming ngl. the villains do what good villains do, making peter a more interesting and well rounded character, with some newfound pathos to boot.

speaking of the course correction done in this movie is interesting??? some it feels like a response to people's complaints which, yeah that's technically pandering, but it doesn't make the movie worse off i think. the big one is obviously addressing the choice to leave out uncle ben by uncle ben-ing aunt may (say that 5 times fast). tbh it might constitute fridging but i don't care because it's almost an improvement on the uncle ben thing like. we knew may! we were attached to her as a character! it's honestly really impactful this way and marvel actually committed to the bit and didn't bring her back or anything. nice. on a slightly smaller note is giving an acknowledgment that peter's broke and having his status quo by the end being that he's poor and on his own was. genuinely reassuring and refreshing. also the bright, homemade costume at the end!!!

speaking of colours. THE MOVIE ACTUALLY LOOKS LIKE A MOVIE???? like the camera work and cinematography (THE CINEMATOGRAPHY) and production design and mise-en-scene serve the story and look good??? i mean. most of the villains got a costume downgrade (goblin and elektro...) but besides that the lighting and composition of shots didn't look like garbage?? i'm guessing some behind the scenes shifts in gear being used caused this like what happened with guardians volume two and that's why the movie actually has things like saturated colours and effective uses of rack focus. also the action was really engaging and tbh? the whole sinister six pseudo-horror sequence in the apartment buildings was like. really fucking good lmao

also, in the words of alexander j newall in the tma season 5 QnA, you really can't go wrong with a highstakes personal choice for an ending. it was a really bittersweet feel and i can imagine a lot of ppl are upset about it but. i don't care it was good character growth for peter and was very in line with spidey as a character like. not 2 drop a controversial take but uh. i think this might be like. a better version of the infamous one day more storyline in some ways??? ending wise at least.

ANYWAY. as far as movies go?? pretty alright. some wink wink nudge nudge humour, some problematic portrayals that hold me back from responsibly recommending it, some really good moments, a really well structured story, even if it felt more like a beginning than an end.

but as far as MCU movies go????? this is THEE most motion picture ever

[azul-marie]

i really really appreciate the fact you write for paradox live and im grateful ur blog exists. i know of other scenario blogs that tend to get pretty discouraged when their writing doesnt do as well as they thought it would in terms of notes and reblogs and etc. and if you ever feel this way i wouldnt blame you considering how small the paralive fandom is as of now but. i hope it doesnt influence your motivation that much because theres still ppl like me who do read what you post and have your notifs on and enjoy what you put out a lot :( i hope you get the recognition you deserve eventually i just wanted to say even if it takes a while and you feel like youre writing to an audience of at most 10 people then pls remember what u do makes those very same 10 ppl v happy 💓 ive had other blogs and writers quit because of this issue so i thought itd be a nice reminder to tell you im here and i loove your hcs so much

hello!! i must tell you, i’ve reread your message dozens of times already. this has made my entire week — dare i say my month? — and each time i read it again it makes me smile. i really can’t thank you enough for writing me such a kind message. i appreciate your thoughtfulness so so much.

i’ve always written what i wanted mostly for myself, out of a love for whatever particular media i’m enjoying. sharing fics to sites like ao3 started as a hobby, so any attention i got was like a nice little treat on the side. realizing that they made others genuinely happy, to the point of having lovely people like yourself write me encouraging messages, is all the recognition i can ever hope to ask for.

thank you again for writing to me! please know i’ll be rereading this whenever i need a pick-me-up in the future. it makes me happy to make others happy; your joy becomes mine. stay safe, always!

[rucow]

massive nerevoryn hcs, beware

I have nerevoryn brainworms that torment me day and night, so I answered this ask game under the cut (I did this for myself not for anyone else, pls be nice and ignore it if u don’t like something you see here!)

(A lil clarification: I headcanon Voryn as nonbinary and I use they/them pronouns for them, also they’re ace and afab in my hc, pls look away if that makes u uncomfy) • How did they first meet? They met when Nerevar was hopping from House to House to ask to be supported as Hortator, he just kinda showed up at Voryn's home outta nowhere and was met with 38237 identical serious Dagoth siblings. I can’t think about it without laughing dgsfh

• What was their first impression of each other? Voryn thought Nerevar a fool at first, for coming all the way to Kogoruhn just to ask for political support and to justify /why/ he should be politically supported However, Voryn saw almost instantly that Nerevar was genuine and driven and had strong ambitions for Resdayn, and they ended up agreeing on a lot of things. Meanwhile, Nerevar's first impression of Voryn was...kinda non-existent? He didn't pay much attention to them and didn't differentiate much between Voryn and their siblings. They were all just a bunch of polite goths to him, so he liked them from the beginning 😹

• Did any of their friends or family want them to get together? Voryn's family was neutral and maybe a lil cautious, but ultimately didn't interfere at all and they quickly accepted Nerevar as part of their family Nerevar has no family, though I consider Vivec to be his family in some way. But no, Vivec didn't really want them to get together :') (he didn't like Voryn very much in the beginning, he thought they're boring, too serious, and has no sense of humor LOL but he warms up to them after a while.. he won’t stop messing with them tho, bc they’re rly easy to tease and that’s fun) • Who felt romantic feelings first? Voryn did. Nerevar's feelings only started ages later, he's not really the type to sit down and analyze/reflect on his feelings, so he didn't realize he had romantic feelings until they hit him full force LOL • Did either of them try to resist their feelings? Voryn tried, but gave up and opted for hiding their feelings instead of suppressing them 😔 • If you had told one of them that the other would be their soulmate, what would they think? They would believe it. Nerevar wouldn't immediately assume it means "romantic soulmate" though, he already sees Voryn as a very close friend so the news that they're soulmates makes perfect sense to him. On the other hand, Voryn wouldn't be surprised to find out they're soulmates, but they'd feel like it's a cruel thing to do to them both, since they can't be together openly and in the way that they want to be. It would be heartbreaking to them :’/ • What would their lives be like if they had never met? Voryn's life would've remained quiet and uneventful, most likely. And they wouldn’t have ended up the way they did in canon.  Nerevar is an unpredictable mystery though so I have no idea, maybe he'd go down a different path and take some impulsive bad decisions in his life 🤔 oh wait he already does that nvm • Who initiated the relationship, and how did it go? Nerevar initiated it. Voryn has had feelings for him for a very long time, but at first they didn't want to be in a relationship with Nerevar due to how complicated it would be, but yeah...they couldn't ignore their heart's call, and definitely couldn't refuse Nerevar when he started returning the feelings :') • Did they have an official first date? If so, what was it like? YEAH!! I have no idea though! It would've been secret but very nice and romantic :'D • What was their first kiss like? It was intimate, and heavy. It was packed full of years of suppressed feelings and wishes. Voryn may have teared up a bit lmao • Were they each other’s first anything (kiss, relationship, etc.)? Nerevar has already had relationships (though nothing long-term) and has had...experience with ppl, in all meanings Nerevar WAS Voryn's first everything though! Mainly because Voryn has never had much interest in ppl before, and just the thought of kissing grosses them out, unless it’s with the right person ofc uwu • What’s their height difference? Age difference? Nerevar is 6'1 and Voryn is 5′6-5'7, they're the same age though! • What’s their relationship with each other’s families? Nerevar likes the dagoths. They don’t pry into his business (ahem, affair*) with Voryn and they always welcome him to Kogoruhn with no problem (aka they tolerate his out-of-nowhere appearances and occassional odd behavior). He finds it a bit unsettling that Voryn has so many siblings but he doesn’t question it. Voryn tries to get along with Vivec, even tho the younger makes it difficult. Voryn is an older sibling, so they have the patience to deal with a younger moodier mer who’s hellbent on disliking them for no reason LOL • Who takes the lead in social situations? Nerevar does, Voryn is really awkward at socializing and hates doing it too 😹 • Who gets jealous easier? They both do, but their jealousy manifests in different ways. Nerevar is much more vocal/open about it. Voryn doesn't give him any reasons to be jealous tho, at least not on purpose 🤧 • Who whispers inappropriate things in the other’s ear? UHH neither of them does 😳 ...unless they've been drinking, then they both do it fjdhsn (Voryn won’t say anything explicit tho, just rly cheesy declarations of love or something SOBS) • Who said “I love you” first? Voryn said it first, but only after Nerevar had already confessed his feelings :’) they needed to be sure they wouldn’t get rejected bc that would just break their heart tbh • Who uses cheesy pick-up lines? Both do, but they mean it in all seriousness, and they believe every word the other says. • How often do they cuddle/engage in PDA? PDA is a big no-no for obvious reasons, unless it's only around trustworthy ppl like Alandro Sul and Voryn's family. Yes, Alan my boi is chill with all of this hehe • Who initiates kisses? Nerevar. He's very touchy uwu • Who’s the big and little spoon? Nere's the big spoon, usually. Voryn's like...a stick...though they can get clingy in their sleep /sobs • What are their favorite things to do together? Having time to spend together is rare for them, so they treasure every little moment they have. They both prefer spending time completely alone with one another, somewhere far and secluded where they can’t see or hear any other people. Nerevar needs moments of quietness to recharge after dealing with so many ppl in his daily affairs, so he really appreciates Voryn’s company bc their energy is very calming and they’re just quiet and pleasant in general.... they’re the type to sit in comfortable silence and just lean on one another as the world fades around them :’) • Who’s better at comforting the other? They know each other very well, so they're both amazing at comforting each other, except it's a lot easier for Voryn to comfort Nerevar solely because Voryn isn't as open about their emotions as he is, and doesn't want to worry Nerevar with anything, so they keep their emotions/pain private much more than Nerevar does. Nere's more open about things that bother him and spills his soul out to Voryn often lol • Who’s more protective? Oh gosh they are both overprotective of one another, they live dangerous lives after all. However, Voryn's the type to get physically sick by worrying over Nerevar's well-being... Nerevar doesn't handle it any better tho, he would become very spooky and destructive if anything happened to Voryn 👀 • Do they prefer verbal or physical affection? Nerevar prefers verbal affection from Voryn, because he knows Voryn’s words are always truthful. Voryn prefers physical affection from Nerevar though, because they know he uses verbal affection with a lot of people, so the physical kind feels more personal and genuine to them u_u • What are some songs that apply to their relationship, in-universe or otherwise? ... I must warn u. my taste in music is maybe TOO happy/sappy for these two, but anyway.. here u go (all these songs are from Voryn’s POV): 1. the lyrics and overall aesthetic and feel of this song.. it suits them in my hc a lot :’( 2. by the same singer, this song HHNGN the lyrics just make me think of how voryn sees nerevar 3. something even more light-hearted... sorry there’s no eng subs but trust me the lyrics are beautiful, the bridge especially makes me cry it’s so pretty.. and 「美しい心を持っている、ずっとこの海よりも深い」 😭 BASICALLY ANY LOVE SONGS MAKE ME THINK OF THEM 😭😭 • Who remembers the little things? Voryn's memory is impeccable. Nerevar is kinda airheaded, he doesn't remember things consciously but he remembers them in his heart • If they get married, who proposes? Voryn does! Though it's not a typical proposal, because their relationship isn't typical either. They simply propose that they both should undergo a ritual to bring them (more specifically, their souls) closer together... It’s the same ritual that Voryn’s mother did to their father, and they learned it from her before she disappeared/passed • What’s the wedding like? Who attends? It's a secret one, so no one attends it besides the two. It's not a wedding though, it's more like a romantic ritual conducted by Voryn themself, where they link their souls/hearts together :') it happens at nighttime in a secluded place, probably a cave with an open sky... somewhere in nature far away from any civilization • How many kids do they have, if any? What are they like? They have one very rambunctious but sweet daughter! She inherits a LOT of Nerevar’s looks and personality, even his ideals and stuff (once she grows up) • Do they have any pets? Nerevar doesn't have any, but he loves animals. Voryn's home has plenty of domestic animals/creatures though, much to Nerevar's joy 👌 (yes I hc the dagoths to be farmers bc I love the thought of a goth farm) • Who’s the stricter parent? Voryn. Though they're still very mild, just. more cautious about parenting than Nerevar is?? And unlike him, they actually teach their kid manners djfnsf • Who kills the bugs in the house? VORYN. They have no fear of bugs and actually know how to handle them really well! • How do they celebrate holidays? Not together :'( </3 • Who’s more likely to convince the other to come back to sleep in the morning? Voryn. Nerevar's an early morning person, while Voryn just wants to be lazy and stay in bed until noon. Voryn has sleepy b* disease • Who’s the better cook? Dare I say both??? >:)c Voryn likes baking more than cooking though, so when they have the time for it, they like treating Nerevar with sweets u_u✨ Nerevar doesn’t really have a sweet tooth though, he’ll just engulf anything that Voryn or their family cooks LOL

[brockachu]

if it means anything, i love your blog and your thoughts, im new to hockey and so i dont know much but you put so much love and happiness and enjoyment into your blog that i cant help but get excited for all of the players and teams you post about and its just very fun so. at the very least i dont hate you, and i know thats not much because im just a faceless anon but i hope its something. <3

hey, no, being anon doesn’t make your encouragement any less valuable. this is so, so kind and sweet of you, and i appreciate it so much. i very genuinely needed this. and i’m really glad to hear that my joy & how hard i try to share fun comes through! like it is very hard for me to put myself outside of myself — idk if i just come off as like an old weirdo or if i actually contribute anything, whether that’s actual knowledge about hockey, or history of the ~narratives~, or vibes or whatever else. and idk if it’s silly to care that much about ‘contributing’, but i’ve always wanted to be someone who’s capable of creating things.

i used to draw & write a lot. i also used to get to go to events & take photos (my current city’s ahl team has moved & i no longer live in a college hockey town or near an echl/ahl/nhl city & i never lived in a chl/nwhl/phf city + covid stuff so i just haven’t been to Any live events in 2+ years now). i still sew sometimes when my mental health isn’t fighting me every stitch of the way.

i guess what i’m saying is that, even if the point is mainly to have fun & most of my blog/twitter is really kinda silly, it’s become a major outlet for me to do my write-ups or share memes & edits or make fancams. and bc i can never tell from inside myself if any of it is fun for anyone else, sometimes it all feels a little futile, like i’m fighting myself to convince myself i get to exist and make things and take up even the tiniest digital space. and i know a lot of that isn’t anything that i can ever overcome by continuing to seek outside validation. but hell if getting some outside validation doesn’t help keep me going on really bad days (which i unfortunately have had a lot of recently. god when will winter fucking end. it’s So Ironic that hockey brings me so much joy when the literal season that allows hockey to exist has been torture for me since i was an actual kid. like i remember winter being miserable for me as young as like 12 years old)

god this answer has gone entirely off the rail — i’m just really exhausted & i want to feel like i’m doing anything & that i’ve had any progress in the decade i’ve been haunting this lil hellsite and i also do not want the younger ppl on here to see me struggling and think that life doesn’t get better. it really fucking sucks for me right now, but life does get better & i still find shit to have fun with, even when my brain is convinced to have the worst time. like, look! i wrote a fucking depressing tag essay about my self-loathing and someone likes me enough to come tell me about it. there is Always someone who is gonna give a fuck and like you, no matter what your mental illness tells you. even when you’re miserable, someone is So Glad just to know you’re still there.

i really needed this message and i hope y’all get to enjoy my much better days with me too. thank you, anon 💖

[seijorhi]

asks :)

i’m sorry i’m bad at answering these i love you guys

I just adore fics like these, outside characters seeing through yandere facades and putting the pieces together. Atsumu’s frustration at knowing something is wrong but not being able to convey it without sounding crazy or jealous (and then exactly that happens), and then his mental agony at realizing he’s right but powerless. Ugh and the piece de resistance was his own inner turmoil at his attraction, it was just *chef’s kiss*. Do you think Atsumu became a bit of a lowkey yandere in his own way just obscured with a savior complex? Poor reader if she ever ends up his clutches, swapping one crazed man for another only Atsumu will never see himself as the bad guy. Thanks for the time and effort you put into such amazing writing!!

poor atsumu, i really put him through the wringer on this one :(( he starts with good intentions, but you know what they say about those haha. i honestly think he’s kinda fucked, because on the one hand he has everybody telling him he’s being a creeper, making mountains out of molehills, because how could hinata possibly do anything like that? and on the other he’s got hinata who’s not only aware of his suspicions but kinda pushing him to snap but dangling the reader in front of him. which way he falls is kinda up to you, but i think the fact he jerked off to a blowjob she clearly didn’t want says a lot about what he’s willing to (temporarily at least) overlook.

(English is not my first language so if I make grammar mistakes i'm sorry :( )

I got chills while reading insidious! It was so amazing. I really appreciated how you wrote that in Atsumu's perspective and made him an unreliable narrator.

It reminds me of the old drabble that you did with BokuAka where they kidnapped their manager and wrote it in Konoha's perspective. In that drabble, while Konoha did act selfishly, I still felt that he was a good person overall.

But in this fic, despite Atsumu claiming that Hinata and y/n's relationship was toxic and wrong, he still felt jealous. He wanted to be in Hinata's place. He wanted what Hinata had with y/n. I don't think his issue with them was because their relationship was toxic (maybe it was in the beginning), he just wanted it to be him who's with her. And that's the brilliance of this fic, seeing not only how unsettling Hinata's relationship was but also seeing Atsumu also slowly becoming obssessed.

first of all, never apologise for your english or any language for that matter. you’re doing great bby! but i’m glad you liked the fic!! <33 i can’t resist morally corrupting a character with good intentions. poor tsumu. poor konoha :((

Oof Hinata is terrifying and you wrote him so so so in character, like damn. He’s so happy like he’s just not a dark person which makes it so jarring bc he himself might not even register his actions as bad. I would love to see more content with him bc you got a girl scared and horny! But just wow I was on the edge of my seat!

ahh thank you my love!!

this is kinda random but i’m happy that i finally don’t have to type your full @ on the search bar to get to your blog anymore!!!!! also your new hinata ft atsumu fic literally sent chills down my spine. it kinda disturbed me how nobody (except atsumu) is questioning hinata’s character because hinata the always positive bundle of joy and sunshine can’t be capable of doing such things right? and how hinata is aware of atsumu’s suspicions ANDattraction towards his girl so he plays these little mind games with atsumu while maintaining that happy go lucky smile on his face acting like everything is normal. i just love your writing so much i literally visit your blog often for new updates😭

ahh i wished i had more updates for you haha! it’s really the worst when nobody believes something you think is painfully obvious. and hinata’s sunshine and sweet and super adoring, so why would anyone think twice about his relationship with the reader? and it doesn’t help that he’s toeing the line (before jumping right across it) between genuine concern and a little bit of attraction, but that’s half the fun haha. thanks for the ask bby!

Ok but you write Atsumu pining for the reader in a relationship so well. Inescapable Atsumu vs Oikawa is so good, the desperation, the crying *chefs kiss* Insidious is a diff Atsumu, more caring but thirsty all the same. Bokuto and co.s reaction is so funny 😭 they literally said you need to chill a little Atsumu

(Maybe we need to make this a full circle and make Atsumu pine for Osamus S.O. eye-)

i’m so mean to atsumu in both of those fics. dw i’ll make it up to him haha <33

It’s been said before but your Hinata fic was AMAZING and just so scarily in character. Hinata is definitely one of the scariest yanderes because he’s so unsuspecting and who would believe such a cheerful person is capable?!? It was just so well-written, I loved how you wrote Atsumu’s rising suspicions (especially how he can’t really prove anything bc it’s Hinata of all ppl) and his own descent into obsession and everyone’s reaction to him. It was so deliciously twisted and you can’t help but pity reader in what we can assume is her little sliver of hope that she can be saved bc someone finally noticed. Just chills.

thank you so much, bby! hinata does give off those vibes, and who would suspect him because he’s so attentive and bright and bubbly. i’m glad you liked it!! <33

Rhi RHHHHIIII Insidious was spot on. Rabid was just 👌👌 mmm and I've just realized how good you are at capturing a character's pov, like Atsumu's was on the money for capturing the confusion and unsettling feeling and it was so effective i feel like 👀😳 @ hinata now lmaoo

I WAS THE LAST ASK TALKING ABOUT POVS BUT I FORGOT SOMETHIIINGG. DAICHI'S POV. DAICHI'S POVVVV 👏👏👏 I could feel myself feeling his frustration and anger (I wanted him to whip oikawa's ass so bad fr) and his piecing together of things made me feel so awful and anxious, but like in a good way!! Writing is suppose to make you feel things and your fics always, always accomplish that 🤍

ahh nonnie, thank you so much! i like to get inside of the character’s head and fuck with their emotions and stuff, it’s super fun so i’m glad you guys enjoy it!! ily!! <3

oo Hinata as a yandere is so scary bc he's so sweet and caring. BUt he's also sincere and earnest about everything and who's to say that passion won't carry into darker activities 👀

you get it anon haha. he’s honestly a little terrifying but i still want him to spit in my mouth y’know??

i just finished reading insidiuous--it was FANTASGTIC SHDFJDSHFJ the way that atsumu crossed a line he couldn't come back from and was just,,,, rightfully consumed with shame for it?? that was great. also loved reading how hinata knew what he was doing and was doing it purposely, but poor reader. my heart goes out to reader.

thank you so much, bby!! i’m glad you liked it <33 

God, you have no idea how much I loved Rabid. I read it probably like 5 times in a row the first time. How do you imagine what happens to reader afterwards? I wonder if he’d end up taking her back to his place, or how does he interact with her afterwards? I’m sorry if this is annoying, I’m just so in love with the story 🥺💕

ahh thank you so much! as for what happens afterwards, you’re definitely kyoutani’s girl. if you think he’s just gonna let you go back to your place, keep working your job, you’ve got another thing coming. he tries to be gentle. a good boyfriend. he’ll definitely pick up on you shaking after he’s finished up; but he’ll misinterpret it as you being cold and make you wear his jacket haha.

Have u permanently closed commissions?

not necessarily, just taking a break :))