#i genuinely had more on here and then realized i needed a ‘none’ or ‘multiple’…

[singmyaubade]

warning: cursing

cheating!boyfriend!james x female!reader

you opened the door to the empty charms classroom where your boyfriend had detention. you gasped, seeing your boyfriend and your best friends sister kissing.

"y/n." james said, already raising up.

anger, sadness, surprise, disgust.

multiple emotions engraved your entire body.

you were stuck in a trance, not being able to fully breathe, not knowing which emotion to act on. you could cry, hit him, yell at him, but none of them seemed right.

"y/n, look at me baby." james said, holding your shoulders, trying to make you look at him.

you looked at him, glassy-eyed.

"baby," he swallowed, "i swear it's not what you think at all." he tried to calm you down but you just couldn't breathe in this moment.

"what the fuck." is all you said.

you looked at your best friends sister, izzy evans. what angered you even more was that it was the sister of a girl he once loved. a girl he once imagined his whole life with.

"baby, let me explain to you what happened." james reasoned, trying to keep your eyes on him.

"fuck you." you spat, turning your heel, storming off into the hallway.

"y/n please." he ran after you, trying to touch your hand.

"james fleamont potter, i don't want to fucking hear it." you snapped, pointing your finger at him.

you knew he had never seen you so angry.

in fact, you guys never fought. your relationship was pure and loving, only having an argument when needed. every problem, you would make sure to talk it out and you gave him your all.

which is why it was so hard to stomach that he cheated.

now his eyes were teary, "i can guarantee it's not what you think, you can't believe that i would kiss her," he rationally said, "i love you."

you couldn't tell if he was being genuine which only rubbed you more the wrong way.

"is this the only time you guys have ever done anything like that?' you asked, willing to forgive if you knew this was the only time it had happened.

he looked guilty, "we have had a few incidents before,"

you scoffed, moving past him to your dorm.

he quickly moved in front of you, "but, i swear, i never went too far."

"good fucking job, you didn't got too far with your mistress, you asshole." you sneered.

"because it was a crush, we both had a little crus-" he explained, realizing his slip up at the end.

"are you fucking kidding me?" you asked.

"baby, i'm sorry, i didn't mean it." he said, kissing you but you pushed him roughly.

"you had a crush on her? a crush on the girl you loved for most of your hogwarts enrollment's sister?" you fumed, "get the fuck away from me." you moved past him and he didn't chase after you.

you were so angry, not knowing where to go.

you didn't want to go to your dorm and have to explain to lily evans, your best friend of seven years, that you caught her sister and your boyfriend who used to be in love with her kissing.

it wasn't fitting.

you just wanted to erase you and james off of this planet. you didn't wanna calm down and talk, you wanted to destroy everything that existed of you two.

so you were going to.

you stormed to the gryffindor common room, going up the stairs to the boys dormitory. you knocked three times, not harshly but just enough to get notice.

sirius opened the door, an red apple in his hand that were shaped by two bites.

"oh y/n, im sorry to tell you but loverboy isn't here yet." he said, jokingly.

you could tell he didn't know anything because he was acting how he usually did and if he did, it would be dramatic because it was sirius.

"i know!" you smiled, "i just wanted to wait for him in here." you said uppity as you usually did.

"alrighty." he said, leaving the door open for you.

you closed the door behind you, "hey y/n." remus said, reading his book in bed with his glasses.

"hey remmy." you greeted with a smile, "how are you?"

"good, how are you? everything alright?" he asked, noticing your smile was cracking.

"fine actually," you said, "just fine."

"okay." he said, not knowing if it was the truth or not.

"do you guys know where james's broom is?" you asked, "he's gonna do some late night practicing?"

"without me?" sirius groaned.

"he wanted to show me a few of his tricks." you smiled.

"well, its right under his bed." sirius pointed.

"thanks." you grinned at him.

you grabbed the nimbus one-thousand fifty-five from under james's bed. you admired the wood of the handle, running your nails along it.

you then grabbed it by the broom part and used it swipe all of the pictures of you and james on the ground which startled sirius and remus.

"y/n!" remus yelled, taking off his glasses.

you ignored him, smashing james's broom on his desk, trying to tear it in half. when you failed at that, you dropped the broom and grabbed the snow globe that you gave him for christmas and smashed it on the ground.

sirius was now slowly trying to move over to you but a part of him was scared.

you grabbed a picture of you and james that was moving, you kissing him on the cheek.

you remember that day like no other, valentines day. james had got you your favorite cake from kowalski quality baked goods. one that usually took months to aquire due to how popular the shop was.

you took in the picture one last time before smashing it to the ground harshly.

that's when remus decided to intervene.

he grabbed both of your hands and hugged your back, putting his arm on your collarbones.

"let me go remus." you said, crying.

"it's not worth it." he whispered in your ear, "whatever it is, it isn't worth it."

you sobbed, holding onto remus's arm.

the door opened and you knew it was james, you didn't even have to look.

before james could say anything, remus said, "sirius take her, i'll talk to prongs." he instructed.

"wait," james said before remus cut him off.

"you don't wanna have this conversation now, trust me." remus said.

remus let you go as you crumbled to your knees and sirius rushed over to you, making sure you were okay.

remus walked outside to james and you couldn't hear what they were saying. all you knew was that you were heartbroken and had no idea what to do.

"come on y/n, please get up," sirius pleaded, not wanting the glass to cut your knees.

"why did he like her?" you sobbed.

"you know prongs is stupid," sirius sighed, "he's not the smartest and that's not an excuse but i think sooner or later, you should really find the root of the problem."

you sniffled, "i never knew you could actually give good advice." you joked.

"well, i think the destroying of the objects in this room has opened my eyes." sirius laughed, "let me clean this up."

you nodded, stepping off of the glass, hissing because of the cuts on your knees.

"after i clean this up, i'll help you with the cuts." he said as you nodded.

you watched as sirius performed several charms and spells to clean up the mess and fixed the fixable objects. after he fixed what he could, he tried his best fifth year taught healing skills.

"thank you sirius." you looked at his eyes.

he smiled, delivering a kiss to your head before going outside to talk to james and remus.

after what felt like several minutes, the door opened and closed. you looked behind you to see james and you both kept eye contact.

you both didn't know what to say for a while, it was as if both of you had forgot all of the words of the human language.

james cleared his throat, "i wish i could tell you something that could fix everything and make us go back to normal but i don't know what to do." he admitted, "i regret what i did to you, it will probably be my biggest regret."

"i know." you said, teary-eyed.

your eyes had burned from crying so much.

"i don't know if we can fix this," you admitted as his mouth opened, "if you are having enough doubts to like another girl, i don't think we should be together."

he moved in front of you, going on his knees, "y/n i love you so much, more than i ever will love anyone else," he pleaded, "just let me prove it to you."

you put your hands in his, "i'm not trying to be cruel, i know we both love eachother but," you exhaled, "i can't be with you if when you hurt me, i feel like this." a tear fell down your cheek, "it's not healthy for either of us."

"please." his voice cracked.

"jamie, we have to let each other go." you calmly said.

"don't leave." he croaked.

your response was a kiss to his cheek before you got up and headed over to the door, not wanting to keep talking about the same thing.

it might not be the last time you guys have this talk but it was enough for you for now.

[takes1]

p.2 nishinoya x gn!reader. childhood friends

nishinoya being a little nervous is very fun to write :,)

warnings. none! details. sfw / fluff / maybe light angst / gn!reader / shiratorizawa!reader / childhood friends / checking each other out / taller!reader / good ending / multipart series / 1.8k words 🤍 haikyuu collection / part one here more links. my ao3, my other stuff. request box

"Would you quit skipping?" Coach Ukai sighed.

He truly didn't mind it, not even the sound of his shoes scraping the concrete, but thought what his new hire might think if they just happened to be taking out the trash, or looking out the window, if they saw this childish display of excitement.

Nishinoya was hesitant, but willing to cooperate. Alas, his hands clenched up into tight fists and the way he had to walk to keep it all in looked even dumber.

Another sigh. He really didn't want to deal with him if this went sour and the poor kid showed up to practice, depressed and uncooperative.

In fact, he simply forbid this little encounter with the Spring Preliminaries approaching.

He first noticed, of course, when Nishinoya's sharp ear caught his conversation that one afternoon a week ago, but he wasn't allowed the privilege of forgetting when nearly every practice after, his libero was requesting to walk with him to the convenience store.

One thing he was sure of was that you just didn't seem the type to enjoy Nishinoya's tricky company.

Your more laid-back, cool temperament combined with an off-the-rails excited guy, whom you might not even remember, was a recipe for disaster in his book.

Nishinoya even showed up that weekend, completely bummed you didn't happen to be working. He requested your work schedule and was denied based on the principle of a 'Worker's Protection' law.

It wasn't until Ukai realized the build-up of nerves was slowly killing him that he finally offered to walk with him and (quietly) monitor your meeting. On the grounds that he bought something, of course.

Ukai didn't try to settle him further, even when they rounded the corner to find a gaggle of teenagers loitering outside, smoking, and kicking a metal can around.

They tensed up when he walked through them. Some eyed his walking partner, some paid zero attention. The bell jingled as he pushed through, but he paused to let Nishinoya inside first and shout, "Y'all better buy something today!!"

A collective groan got cut short as the door closed behind him.

His gruff voice brushed past Nishinoya's stock-still body in the middle of the way--

"You're more trouble than you're worth, y'know that, kid?"

You were crouched by the refrigerated drinks on the very bottom row, shoving your arm all the way back to fix a piece of broken plastic so you could keep stocking bottles. Multiple opened boxes of soda surrounded the floor near you.

This place was a dump, but you needed the cash.

"Ohh, I thought that was what you were going for when you hired me," You scoffed, completely unbothered by his seniority over your job security.

Nishinoya was surprised to hear a genuine laugh from his coach. The sarcasm was new.

He approached the counter and craned his head to get a better look at how else you'd changed. Just as he was able to get a glance at your face under your cap, his view was obstructed by a newspaper swatting around in the air.

"Go buy something, Nishinoya," Ukai grumbled and groaned as he took his seat at the register, chair creaking.

A couple flicks of his lighter calmed him and eased his growing impatience, "And say somethin' already."

He sighed out the smoke through the side of his mouth. The kid's silence was creepy.

"Noya?" Your jaw was practically on the floor at the sight of your old neighbor, "No way!"

"Hey!!" You said at the same time, grinning.

When you stood up, it jogged his body full of energy he didn't need, and he quickly approached you- a strange mixture of anxiety, nostalgia, and relief pinging around in his head.

You were both laughing, looking each other up and down.

Your arms automatically raised for a hug. He had no second-thoughts to take you up on the offer.

He tripped forward a bit on one of the boxes of glass bottles in front of you, but you caught him before he could break any or tumble.

The hug felt way weirder than either of you were prepared for. His arms around your waist squeezed harder than you were expecting, and his back under your palms was much bigger than you remembered. He smelled like sweat and a nice cologne.

"That's coming out of your paycheck." Ukai shouted, monotone.

It was a good signal to let each other go, because a hug wasn't the best idea in hindsight.

The air felt thick and unsure for a difficult moment. There was everything and nothing to say at the same time.

"You're so tall now!" Nishinoya sighed, but there was no hint of jealousy. Just admiration for your new trait. At least one of you made it.

He did look amusingly similar to the last time you'd seen him.

"You're so-- built!" You affirmed, hands flying to grab his strong shoulders. His forearms and legs were well-defined and made him look healthy.

Of course he wasn't big, but it was clear he was in tip-top shape. You were beyond grateful he was taking good care of himself.

He choked on a nervous laugh- face lighting up bright red at your overexcited compliment. You blushed a bit at how easily you gave it and his ensuing coughing fit.

"Sorry..." You bit your lip. Yeah, you weren't besties anymore- it was a difficult reminder.

"No-g-hod, ah--," He cleared his throat and caught Ukai, feet up on the counter, with a smug look under his hand.

"It's so good to see you again," You tried to patch the approaching lull with a quiet, genuine statement.

The color on his face didn't go away, but he was happy to talk.

"I can't believe we didn't get each other's numbers before!" He laughed.

The vintage t-shirt you had on, baggy pants, and really nice sneakers reminded him a bit of Tanaka's style. In fact, you looked a lot like those teenagers outside.

The cool-ness you radiated was intimidating when he thought about it too hard. All he had on was a plain white shirt and black shorts his grandpa got him from some department store.

You were quick to whip your phone out before both of you forgot, trying to bite back the big grin on your face as you recalled, "Well, I didn't have a phone back then- and yours was broken, remember?"

A bit fumbly, he eventually clicked through the right apps to get to a spot where he could add you as a contact.

"Right!! I fell off my..." He trailed, wincing at the memory, "Fell off my bike. Down that ditch."

You returned his phone to him with your contact saved. He quickly tried to re-type his number in a few times on yours, but his excess energy was jumbling the numbers under his thumbs. God, they all looked like fives.

"You still have that scar?" You asked, grinning at the smiley face he sent you.

Nishinoya gave an enthusiastic nod and lifted one side of his shirt up to his chest. That familiar gash was now a light pink, but still pretty thick line. Your eyes flickered over the rest of his over-developed serratus muscles.

He was looking at it hard, too, and tucked his shirt in his teeth as he ran a couple fingers over the different texture. You glanced from one aisle on your right, to the drink fridge, back to his really nice body.

Only a bit muffled, he stated, distracted, "Took forever t' heal up."

When he let his shirt fall, there was a bite spot on the bottom hem. He used his forearm to wipe his mouth with. A big, stupid grin back up at you.

You realized you should probably keep stocking drinks when the door rang. Nishinoya shifted to sit next to you, as out of the way as he could get. You settled back to doing your last task before your shift could end.

"How's Karasuno?"

The question made him look a little bigger, a bit happier, "It's great! I'm the libero for the volleyball team there."

Nishinoya always loved volleyball. He'd talk your ear off about it to the point you used to block him out most of the time. You never cared much about it, but it made him beyond happy. To be a starter on the team must've been so important to him.

Excited, you gave his shoulder a shove with a giant smile, "That's so awesome!! Fuck, that's-- wow, man."

Aware of the lore behind the school, you suggested, "Maybe you're what they needed over there."

His head was buzzing. He realized he didn't get many compliments from anyone outside of the team. It carried a strange and alluring weight.

"How's Shiratorizawa?"

You shrugged with the faintest smile, "It's fine. Not exactly Chidoriyama."

He gave an easy, polite giggle at the reference to your shared antics in the good old days. He wanted to ask for more details, why that smile looked so sad, but decided against it.

After you added the last of the stock in, Ukai let Nishinoya help you break down the boxes and take them to the recycling on the way out.

"Thank you!" Nishinoya dropped some cash on the counter for a 16-oz Pocari Sweat as he zoomed out the door to catch up to you, arms filled with cardboard.

It was nearly getting to be spring, but towards the end of the day after the sun was down, it always took a harsh, cold turn.

You were both shivering with no jackets on your walk to the bus stop.

"--There's a lot that old man doesn't tell me," You rolled your eyes at the realization your boss had been the Karasuno volleyball coach, and the fact that it didn't come up once yet, "He lets me figure shit out on my own."

Nishinoya, once again, was taken aback by the way you talked about his feared and respected coach.

"He must like you a lot, though! I've never heard anyone talk to Coach that way," His tone expressed more astonishment than anything.

You shrugged, hands stuffed deep in your pockets, "Maybe."

Ukai was more or less your only mentor right now. Your parents were frequently away on business trips and school was somehow more alienating- the private academy's appeal lasted as long as it took to spit the name out for you.

Two years ago, when you got news that you passed that impossible entrance exam, it didn't occur to you that Nishinoya wouldn't. Not until he told you on his doorstep.

He called you 'lucky' to have been accepted, but it couldn't have felt any further from the truth.

The people at Shit-torizawa, as you called it, were a bunch of fakes and Daddy's money rich kids who'd never known struggle. Things had been grey for a while, and this winter was particularly tough.

Being able to see Nishinoya again was like feeling the warmth of a long-forgotten sun on your skin.

The bus crawled to a stop and sighed as it opened the doors for just you.

"Let's hang out soon!" He held his hand out for a fist bump.

It was leagues more comfortable to return than a hug.

"Hell yeah, shoot me a text!"

taglist:

none! reply to be added for the next part

[ifwebefriends]

No but I think we need to talk about this (Poll below)

I’ve been thinking about when Blitz caught feelings for Stolas and just kinda considering the like emotional timeline of this relationship and I came back to this moment and it kinda made me wonder what’s going through Blitz’ mind here. His expression when he first looks back at Stolas is kinda hard to read for me but he seems kinda remorseful and is a little taken aback when Stolas says that Blitz was his first ever friend. Blitz could have easily taken the grimoire and left and at this point he’s not too emotionally attached to Stolas (I think as kids he genuinely considered Stolas a friend but as adults they’re close to strangers just due to time and space and Stolas is way more invested in Blitz at this moment). I think about it and I think there’s multiple reasons that Blitz decided to sleep with Stolas at this point but it’s hard for me to choose the most prominent reason and I want to hear other people’s thoughts on this.

So I’m starting a poll and opening the floor to discussion. Please read all of the poll options before voting. If one reason seems most important/prominent in your mind please pick that one.

[justiceleaque]

i've been meaning to comment on the DCEU for a long time now but always held back in hopes i wouldn't need to because something might change. for full transparency, this comes from someone who hasn't been able to fully involve myself with anything relating to comics for quite a few years now so what i say isn't worth taking to heart. but i was here when they launched the first movie, i was here when people were losing their minds at the hints of something more in the second movie, i was front row and center making content for the following few movies when everything came together and we finally got the big three on the screen

here's the thing and i'll keep it short: i loved snyder's vision and there were many who didn't. and from day one, i was fine with people not enjoying the movies because everyone has a different experience with the source material. i had made the prediction that after justice league, people would return to batman v. superman, to man of steel, and suddenly find it an enjoyable, full-circle trilogy; i made jokes when the exact thing happened because it was stupid and ridiculous and, at the end of the day, predictably funny. it didn’t ultimately matter to me because i genuinely enjoyed what i got and was happy to have more people on board. the bigger the party the bigger the snacks, baebey!!!!!!!!!!!

and then, i started losing steam. WB didn’t know what they wanted to do. they chose to listen to the part of the audience that was dissatisfied and often asked for more marvel-like works, which is not something i agreed with ✨but!✨ had they decided to actually change sails completely, to move towards that particular horizon wholly, i would’ve had more respect for the overall direction of the universe and likely stuck with it

the chopping and restitching and smashing of everything together until something hopefully comes out and then groaning when it doesn’t but maybe it did but oh boy who cooked it this way oopsie oh well hehe hihi was, and is to this day, nauseating to see. in its literal definition. it gives me vertigo every time i see another article about WB moving to a different direction with its DC movies. the enjoyable films that have come out since lose their charm the moment i realize they’ll either be ignored, retconned, or straight up misremembered in their own future material because there’s no unified vision. the big boss doesn’t know where he’s going so we’re forced to make multiple pit stops for gas without being allowed any coke zero, a bottle of pepsi max, a single bubblegum packet. spare some change, you little bitch

not even touching certain, uh, problems with actors involved because even with an immaculate roster none of this could’ve prevented me from silently dropping out when, at the end of the pitiful day, there’s no DCEU. what’s extended about this universe? my patience is

[piracytheorist]

I am once again thinking about how much of a new territory Twilight is walking through with his relationship with Yor.

Like, he's been in multiple fake relationships. There have certainly been times where his partners would be soft and gentle and intimate with him. They would hold his hand and kiss him and brush their fingers through his hair and snuggle with him... And he'd have to pretend to enjoy it and reciprocate. There would always be a barrier between his partners' physical touch and what he allowed himself to feel.

But then, with Yor... The scene where he woke up in her lap and freaked out showed us that he became truly vulnerable with her, completely out of his control. And she was soft with him. He didn't have to put any effort into provoking that behaviour from her; on her own accord she took care of him, laid him down on a bench, his head on her lap, both their coats keeping him warm, and she sang a sweet lullaby to him.

He was so unprepared for such softness and care that he reacted to it like he was under attack. Yet Yor kept it on. Her care was not reciprocated (at least not physically) - but she didn't take it back. He didn't feel the need to put on a mask and pretend to accept Yor's care, yet Yor did not regret the way she took care of him.

That is mostly because of Yor's insecurity, where she felt it was her fault for knocking him out instead of realizing he deserved that kick after the boundary he crossed and feeling that Loid was justified in not wanting her as his pretend wife anymore.

And that was when Twilight realized his mistake. The honey trap didn't take because this isn't like the other fake relationships he's had. She reacted negatively to it and the lack of physical reciprocation of her care did not deter her; instead, she feels she is the one lacking. Twilight realizes he can't win Yor over for the mission with flowers and chocolates and promises he doesn't intend to keep. Instead he needs honesty; something he's never used before, because none of his previous relationships had the level of openness that his "partnership" with Yor does.

Yor practically lays her soul bare to him about how she feels she's not fit for his family, and that's the moment he reciprocates. He shares a vulnerable piece of information from his past in order to make Yor understand how much he actually values what she considers a flaw of hers. It's not manipulation, it's not a trick; it's him genuinely connecting with Yor - interestingly enough, there's no internal monologue of him saying he has to comfort her For The MissionTM, and as others have said, there's a new timbre to his voice here; it's not Twilight, it's not Loid, it's the real man behind all of it.

This controlled vulnerability came after a moment of shock from uncontrolled vulnerability; him passed out and Yor looking after him. And he needs to freak out. He needs to realize he's giving up control on his spy discipline not because he's really choosing to, but because he genuinely feels so secure in Yor's presence that him lowering his defenses comes naturally. It probably won't come soon (I don't think he's already in love with her in the anime), and it will certainly not come easy (he's still a spy after all), but it's a necessary step he needs to do to accept his true feelings about her.

To have her touch him and him leaning into the touch without actively thinking he has to; reciprocating just by feeling; his core getting warm at the mere feeling of her fingers in his hair; his smile becoming more and more genuine as time passes until there's zero effort to it; all of that coming without (or sometimes, against) his control.

But until then, he oughta freak out a bit. What's the fun otherwise?

(Anime only fan here, don't spoil me about the manga)

[wordsmithwhumpsandfluff]

Word!! I'm sorry, I know I'm not caught up in the Ollie concussion fic, I promise I'm gonna get to that this weekend 🙈 your most recent post gave me a plot bunny tho... How about hurt Aiden with caretaker Spirit? As in he gets beaten up on duty and Spirit is FURIOUS but also having to be gentle bc his ribs are hurt and he's a little concussed?

Other ask:

Can we have more of Aiden? I loved him in the 3 fics there is about him and I am obsessed 😍😂 ~🌼

Combining the results of the Spirit&Aiden poll with this amazing ask. I couldn’t help myself🤭. Thanks for this awesome idea Soup, and thanks for the initial ask 🌼anon!

Also, adding a lil twist to the end of this one👀

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

One thing that genuinely surprised Aiden was that Spirit always texted him back fairly quickly. He loved that. She never texted first, but he didn’t mind that fact.

“So, who is it?”

Aiden almost jumped as Mikey—the officer who was mentoring him—came up beside him. Aiden went three shades paler and fumbled to put his phone in his pocket. He wasn’t supposed to be on it while on security duty at the mall.

Mikey laughed at his panic. “Y’know, you’re lucky you got stuck with me, kid. If you’d been put with Bryan or Adamson, then you would’ve been chewed out for texting whoever it is that’s making you smile like a moron.”

Aiden flushed, looking straight ahead and focusing on being alert. “I’m sorry, sir.”

Mikey shrugged. “It’s fine, kid.” Mikey was only in his early thirties, though he liked to try and convince people that he was still 27. He was funny and chill and good at his job, so Aiden really was glad that he got to work with this guy while on duty.

“Our rotation ends in ten minutes, kid. Thank God. Do me a favor and go get us a couple of coffees once we’re done here.”

Aiden smiled. “Yes, sir.”

It seemed like it would be another easy day. Aiden was glad and couldn’t wait for his shift to be over. He was planning to surprise Spirit at the music store where she worked in the mall so he could finally ask her out on a second date. He felt that he’d waited long enough.

Suddenly, there was shouting and a series of screams. Aiden’s head snapped towards the commotion, and Mikey took off running. Aiden followed.

At the mall’s technology store, there was a group of about six guys. About four had ski-masks, and the other two had regular face masks. All of them had bats and were breaking shelves, yelling at people, and grabbing phones and cameras and whatever else they could shove into a few large duffle bags.

Crud, Aiden thought, his hand going to his baton (he really wished he could have a taser already).

“Drop the stuff and put your hands in the air!” Mikey screamed, all chillness gone from his voice. He held up his taser, pointing it at the thieves.

Aiden clicked his walkie talkie. “This is Clark. Reece and I need backup at the Tech Shop. We’ve got six robbers here. I repeat, we need backup.”

Clearly, none of the guys were listening to Mikey. One of them even raised his bat and began to charge at him, but Mikey tased him.

Everything began to happen too fast. In a flash, suddenly a brawl had broken out, and Aiden was throwing punches as well before he realized it.

He grunted as he got struck multiple times in the ribs and gut. He could hear announcements on the mall’s speakers, notifying people of the robbery.

Adrenaline was pumping through Aiden as he fought back. A few guys managed to slip out though and ran for it. Aiden got one of them on the ground and was trying to get cuffs on him, but then received a swift kick to the head from one of the others. “C’mon, Zeke!” one of them yelled.

The force knocked Aiden to the side and had the world going fuzzy, his ears ringing, and both of the thieves got away.

The last things Aiden Saw before the world went dark was Mikey securing cuffs on one of the guys before walking over to him.

— — —

The music store closed as soon as word of the fight spread to all the businesses. People were being asked to quickly pay and leave, and employees were getting asked to go as soon as all the costumers were gone.

Spirit—aside from her annoying boss—was the last music store employee to leave. The mall was almost entirely cleared out by then.

Apparently, from what she heard, there was a robbery at a store not far from the music store. She was too busy dealing with an annoying Karen to even notice the commotion.

As Spirit was leaving the building, she saw an open ambulance and saw someone being wheeled on a stretcher towards it. At first, Spirit only noticed his uniform and just thought that he was one of the security guards who got caught up in the whole thing. Then, suddenly, she noticed and recognized his face. Even without his glasses and all of the bloodied bruises.

Aiden.

Spirit’s eyes widened and her stomach dropped. Without realizing it, she was making her way over towards the paramedics. “Aiden,” she called, worried and a bit scared. Spirit hated that feeling.

One of a few officers stopped her before she could get closer. “Miss, I’m going to have to ask you to stay back.”

Spirit frowned, brows creasing. “Is he okay? Did the robbers do that to him?”

The officer seemed annoyed. “Miss, this doesn’t concern you. Please just—”

Spirit scoffed and was about to retort something—probably something with a lot of angry curse words—when another cop came up to them.

“What’s going on over here?” the other cop asked. He also looked quite beaten up.

“I just want to know if Aiden’s okay,” Spirit said in a hard tone, heart racing.

The other cop raised a brow. “You know the kid?”

“Yes, he’s my—” Spirit froze for a second, her mind trying to come up with a word to describe what Aiden was to her. “—my friend.”

The other cop seemed to be much more understanding than the other. “Aiden’s in pretty rough shape. I’ll give you a ride to the hospital, if you’d like.”

The first cop seemed annoyed that this other guy had taken over the situation.

Spirit found herself nodding. “Yes, please.”

The officer led her to his police car. On the drive over, Spirit found out that this officer was named Mikey Reece, and he was Aiden’s mentor. Aiden had mentioned this guy to her once or twice in their texting conversations.

At the hospital, Spirit and Mikey had to wait for news on Aiden while tests were run. A few other officers came to ask Mikey some questions, and Spirit bounced her leg anxiously as she waited.

This whole situation gave her an uneasy feeling. She overheard a few things that Mikey was saying to the officers: six of them. . . bats. . . black face masks. None of that made Spirit super suspicious until she heard him ask what the name of the one he arrested was, and one of the other officers answered, “Jeremy Hernandez.” That name had Spirit wondering something.

Eventually, a doctor came out and explained that Aiden was slightly concussed and had a few fractured ribs. But aside from that, a small fever and a bit of bruises, he was fine. Awake and responsive.

The officers went into the room first to talk to Aiden and write a report. Then, after that, Mikey wanted to go in but had a higher ranked officer telling him to get himself checked out for injuries. So, Spirit went in to see Aiden alone.

Aiden was sitting up in his bed, bandaged and with some of the blood cleaned up. When he saw Spirit enter the room, he looked genuinely shocked. “What’re you doing here?”

She shrugged, looking serious. Stone cold, even. For some reason, thinking that someone had put Aiden in a hospital had her blood boiling. “Long story,” she said.

Aiden’s surprised look melted a bit and he smiled. “I think I should join your boxing classes. I’m not that great at fighting just yet.”

His comment was laced with a bit of humor, but Spirit remained grim. “Do you know who it was? The robbers?”

Aiden’s smile faltered a bit. “Not really. One of the guys was named. . . Zeke, I think? I don’t know. He could be anyone. They all had masks on, so no facial details.”

Spirit felt her whole body run cold even as she still felt hot with anger. “This guy named Zeke. . . did he have dyed hair? Kinda longish?”

Aiden’s brows creased. “What? Why do you—”

“Just answer the question.”

Aiden worked his jaw, seeming a bit confused and unsure as he nodded. “Yeah dark purple hair. But why—?”

“I’ll be back later,” Spirit stated, her voice low as she turned to walk out the door. She froze before she got to it, turning and going over to Aiden. Before he even comprehended what was happening, she hugged him, being gentle and not putting any weight on him since his ribs were fractured.

Aiden felt his whole body become warm and he melted in the hug a bit, getting butterflies in his stomach. She'd never hugged him before. He decided right then that he really liked her hugs.

Spirit pulled away and looked him in the eye. “I’ll be back later. Or, I might just text later. It depends on how pretty my face will still be in the next few hours.”

Aiden raised a brow, once again seeming confused. Spirit left before he could ask her what she meant.

— — —

Spirit hated her old neighborhood.

The air there reeked of cigarettes and cheap alcohol. There was always someone yelling in their house or at a neighbor, cats knocked over trash cans, and some of the worst people Spirit had ever met lived there.

Spirit went up to a house that she often avoided while growing up. The old man that used to live in it had died when Spirit was a Senior in high school, but the guy’s nephew—and Spirit’s old classmate—still lived there.

Zeke Danes opened the door, a lit cigar in his mouth and looking drunk. He had a black eye and a few other bruises that looked fresh.

Spirit scowled, and Zeke’s eyes widened and he grinned as he recognized her.

“Holy shit. Spirit Mitchel, as I live and breathe.” He took out his cigar, blowing smoke on her face. “To what do I owe this pleasure, hot-stuff.”

Spirit could hear other voices inside, laughing and talking. “Having a party?” Spirit asked, her hands forming into fists in her pockets.

Zeke shrugged, still smiling. “Kinda.” He ran a hand through his long purple hair.

“Let me guess,” Spirit said. “Henry, Javon, Mike, and Freddie?”

“Yeah,” Zeke nodded. “Just my buddies.”

“But Jeremy isn’t here.” The way she said it had Zeke’s smirk falling.

“What do you want, Spirit?” he asked, opening the door all the way so Spirit could see her other old classmates and neighbors scattered inside Zeke’s filthy living room. They had music playing that was suddenly turned down, and all of the guys in there were looking at Spirit curiously and suspiciously.

Spirit stood a bit straighter. She was just as tall as Zeke was, so she could look him directly in the eye. “You robbed a store at the mall today, didn’t you?”

They all snickered a bit.

“So what?” Freddie called from inside, and Spirit noticed that he had gotten more tattoos since she last saw him. “You gonna snitch?”

Spirit wasn’t going to snitch. After all, the saying was very much true: Snitches really didget stitches.

“You beat up a cop,” Spirit said. “The one our age. You got him pretty good.”

Zeke took another puff of his cigarette. “Get to the point, hot-stuff.”

“He’s my friend,” Spirit stated. “You hurt my friend, and now he’s in the hospital.”

All of the guys were silent for a second before laughing.

“Since when do you become friends with police, woman,” Javon laughed. “People like us don’ go around becoming buddy-buddy with cops.”

“Well, I’m not like you,” Spirit spat.

“Oh, but you are,” Zeke said, leaning closer and blowing more smoke on her face. “You’re just like us. You used to fight for extra money behind the school, remember? And we’ve all run from cops together before, baby. Ringing a bell?”

Spirit bared her teeth as her scowl deepened. “Keep your pants on, Zeke. And don’t you dare call me ‘baby’. And I stopped running around with you morons after tenth grade, so quit grouping me in with you guys.”

Zeke chuckled a bit, leaning back against the door frame. “So, did you just come here to pitch a little hissy-fit over us hurting your friend? A little pathetic, don’t you think?”

Spirit nodded. “If I was here just to pitch a fit, that would be pathetic.” Swiftly, she raised her leg and kneed Zeke in his groin, making him gasp and stumble back, doubling over and protectively cupping his throbbing manhood. “It’s a good thing I’m not pathetic.”

Zeke spat his cigarette out of his mouth, glaring at Spirit with tears in the corner of his eyes. “You bitch.”

The other four guys all got up, now looking annoyed.

Spirit cracked her neck and raised her fists.

Looked like she was just going to text Aiden tonight.

[dee-in-the-box]

happy pride month, y'all! have some pride headcanons!!

none of these people are straight and/or cis to me. they've all got some weird queerness going on with them

Jack: transmasc (he/him mostly, but probably wouldn't mind they/them that much), bisexual. could see him being acespec, but sex favorable or indifferent. polyamorous.

Dave: nonbinary in a "i don't understand gender and idgaf about it" way (he/him, but honestly doesn't care. probably would find out about it/its pronouns and love those), pansexual. teach this guy about xenogenders i think he'd love those too. polyamorous (i can see it).

Peter: transfem bigender (he/she), and honestly doesn't know what her sexuality would be considering his weird gender situation (look, he grew up in the 50s-60s. the most exposure to the queer community she had was through Jack, and that wasn't. A Lot). me personally? i'd say lesbian. because Fuck It, Why Not?

Dee: technically cis because she never got to grow up and figure that stuff out (she/her), but i could see her growing up and being on the spectrum of GNC or Genderqueer (the genderqueer part is Definitely not me projecting (< lie)). also aroace (repulsed on both ends)

Henry: cis man (he/him; the first entirely cis person here), bisexual. listen. i heard that thing that was like. DD originally said he was bi but then changed it to straight after getting hate for it for some reason, and i decided to make it a situation where Henry just like. Acknowledged it was a thing for him but didn't really give any fucks because he busy Committing Crimes Against Humanity. everyone thinks he's straight though, 'cause he never mentions it (again, busy with Other Things. such as Causing Problems).

Steven: cis man (he/him), gay. This Is The Shortest Fucking One. also, Steven is the shortest adult of the cast; he's 5'5".

Harry: masc nonbinary dude (he/they), bisexual, polyamorous.

Jake: cis man (he/him), graysexual panromantic, polyamorous.

Roger: probably got some genderfuckery there, but i'll just say A Dude (gender neutral) for now (he/him), gay (as in Likes Men Or Masc-Leaning People), polyamorous. didn't realize the Gay & Poly Part until Dsaf 3. You'll Never Guess How He Found Out!

Rebecca: transfem (she/they/xe), and just queer in general. not exactly poly, but she doesn't mind Harry's...other partners (Jake and Roger). it's sort of a "This is my boyfriend, and this is my boyfriend's boyfriends! ^-^" situation.

and for a few others:

Caroline: cis woman (she/her), cupioromantic (aromantic micro-label; basically means that you don't feel romantic attraction, but still desire a romantic relationship) heterosexual. she still loves Peter, her love just isn't necessarily "romantic." i'd describe it more like queerplatonic. she got married to Peter because she does genuinely care for him and love him, but also because...well, it was what was expected of her. besides, she doesn't mind being married, it's actually pretty nice. Caroline's as close as y'all are going to get to a cishet Dsaf character from these headcanons.

Matt: transmasc agender (he/him), aroace (romance indifferent/favorable (see: "I'm Matt! Everybody loves me!"), sex indifferent/repulsed (do i even need to explain it? i think we know why this was what i picked for him).

now, fun facts!!

Jack actually doesn't experience a lot of dysphoria, just upset that he doesn't have a dick. he doesn't even mind the boobs too much (except that they make people think he's a woman; that part sucks), he'd probably just like a binder. wouldn't mind top surgery, but y'know. Binders Are Easier To Get And Cheaper Than That.

Dee is romance repulsed in terms of herself for the most part (as in the idea of being romantic herself grosses her out). except for Davesport. she told Jack and Dave to "get a room" multiple times in the Flipside.

Blackjack technically has the same labels as Jack, but y'know. Ghost Dog.

Henry doesn't understand why so many queer people work at Fazbender's (Jack, Steven, Peter, etc) because he just. keeps killing them. not due to the queerness but because They Keep Getting In His Way. what is it about the Chuck E Cheese rip-offs that attracts the gays?? Is It The Bears?? Is It The Fucking BEARS??? (i had to make the joke. i had to)

Modern Day Queer Discourse would piss Jack off. he was alive in the 60s and 70s when that shit was getting more mainstream. he's effectively a queer elder, technically (even if he kinda sorta Looks perpetually twenty-two because he kinda can't age anymore). he's seen some shit. i can see him saying on someone's "He/Him Lesbians Aren't A Thing >:(" post "my bigender brother is a lesbian, though. he's got a wife" and then logging off. you can't tell me he wouldn't

I Stand By My Statement: None Of The Kennedy Siblings Have A Normal Relationship With Gender. They Just Don't.

Jack just uses a lot of slurs for himself. he's got. So Fucking Many that he can reclaim (because y'know. Gay/Bi and Trans. and he was alive during the 60s and 70s. so you can only imagine the shit he's heard or had thrown at him).

the first time in his life that Dave ever had to worry about gender stuff was when Henry was having to like. fill out paperwork and things like that to get him an ID of some kind. when they got to gender, Dave didn't really know why that was important, nor what would really fit. they just put "male" on there because technically that would "fit him best" (since he, y'know. has a dick), but Dave didn't feel like either option fit.

i feel like Jack went to a pride event/parade sometime before Dsaf 3. like, maybe he finally felt comfortable actually going there and being out safely for the first time in his life. it was nice.

Caroline helped Peter with her makeup after she came out, and with growing his hair out.

after coming home post-Dsaf 2, Peter actually tried some dresses out. they also found out a way to still put eyeliner on him. and that was using a Sharpie to draw under her phone dial to look like eyeliner. hey, it works.

Peter never got comfortable enough to wear lipstick before he died, though :( so she never got to experience that

Jack: "If I had a nickel for every time I was someone's gay awakening, I'd have three nickels. Which isn't a lot, but how does this keep happening-" (the three people in question are Dave, Jake, and Roger)

i have so many more istg, but this post is getting long. might talk about some more if anyone's interested, though!

[murdocking]

„ᴛᴏ ꜱᴇᴇ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴛʀᴜᴛʜ”

- a chishiya series. ch3 ch5

masterlist

warnings + notes: not much happening here!! just mentions of sex and whatnot… chapter is kinda plain i cant lie

ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ ꜰᴏᴜʀ:

- GAME START

chishiya has to rope himself down to reality multiple times. his first impression of you made him feel his throat and heart clench- even though you looked ragged from this world.

but now, after he’s successfully dragged you into his beginning phase of his scheme against the beach- he’s partially worried on how focus he’ll remain on this mission. somehow, he wishes you chose a regular swimsuit bottom, the short swim-skirt makes his mind freeze as he sees it shift whenever you walk. he’s not complaining, but at the same time- the priority is to subtly get you to join his ploy.

he’s briefly mentioned it to kuina, a night where he escorted her to her room after she enjoyed one too many drinks- he’s not even fully sure if she’s genuine about her participation in the plan either.

he gives you a sly smile when you walk up, holding onto your arms and squeezing past the people flooding the beach.

“hey, so…” your slight nervousness amuses him. “do you mind showing me around, i’m actually a bit hungry and lost and you’re the only person i know here.”

chishiya isn’t sure why, but hearing that you need to depend on him makes him smile bigger- but he dismisses the expression quickly. he’s a man of little words, and just says “sure” before motioning with his hand to follow him.

the music blares intensely, and you’re amazed at how high the speakers go. you pass by the club scene, and you were very grateful for not staying longer than necessary. in every corner, people were on top of each other- moaning in their mouths. its highly uncomfortable for you, and you shuffle further down by chishiya just trying to get away.

“im starting to think you had me join a sex ring chishiya..” he laughs a bit, before turning to look at you “how come?”

“well first off.. we get here and that nani dude says you’re gonna have fun !”

“do you mean niragi? and i have my own fun, very much far away from all the loud and dirty people.”

you cringe a bit at hearing that you said the wrong name, but continue. “well then you leave me in a room with that freako hatter! he nearly fucked the girl in front of me.. and he was looking at me like i was next.” chishiya notices your shivers during ur recount, and he frowns a bit.

“if i could’ve stayed with you, i would’ve.”

he speaks lightly, and for some reason.. this affects you strongly

finally you arrive at the food bar- meals loitering the counters and tables, but none look appetizing.

“it’s the best they can do, most of it all is canned food, we don’t have many hunters here.” he speaks, stuffing his hands into his jacket pockets and following behind you as you browse your options.

you hum as a reply, acknowledging his comment, and he’s right… the options and appearances of the plates seem to mediocre at best, but you grab the plate of rice and beans anyways.

chishiya is deep in thought, more than you’ve seen within your short time of knowing him. but he’s thinking of the best approach to start luring you in as his bait .

“hey chishiya” your voice snaps him out of his thoughts.

“whats up?”

“what did you do before… this ?” you motion to the sky, face contorted with curiosity. chishiya debates his response to you, how much exactly should he let you know about? he doesn’t exactly care for telling you anything about himself frankly, but despite the pessimism- he clears his throat and brings his hands out of his pocket once you sit at a booth.

“im a senior medical student, so far ive had the most experience out of my peers. ive been assisting in multiple patient cases. i’ll complete my studies quite soon actually.” chishiya doesnt realize hes spoken more than he intended, he honestly just was going to leave it at ‘im a senior medical student’- but looking at you makes him a bit more vocal.

you nod with awe, “wow! thats so cool, wish i had gone to school for something helpful like that.”

“what did you go for?”

“business.”

he laughs- and you scowl a bit and roughly scrape at your plate and eat some of your dinner

“what do you plan on doing with that?” he says, coming down from his giggles. you just shrug, mumbling your response.

“dont know, actually i went to an interview the day i got here. wanted to work in account files for a law firm.” chishiya nods “that seems promising, hope when you get out you score the job.”

you smile and thank him, and chishiya is internally kicking his brain hard. hes being too friendly for his own liking and its rather unsettling him.

he decides on staying silent after that, and you both sit in a comfortable silence as you eat- and he lays back across from you, resuming his music. every now and then, he looks at you subtly, staring at your lashes, nose and cheeks. he admits he finds you attractive.

the sky dims more, and ironically- you can hear more people join the party nearby. it’s honestly starting to give you a headache. a woman walks into the room, legs slender and tall and her locs flow behind her as she walks up to your table.

“chishiya. where have you been?” she asks your companion, and you begin to feel as though you’re being shut out slightly.

“ah, been helpin’ out the newest beach member.” the woman turns her head confused, but then lights up with shock when she meets your eyes.

“oh! you’re so pretty!” youre stunned, and you cant hide a bashful smile as you laugh a bit.

“oh thank you.. though im looking rather rough recently. you’re gorgeous though!” the woman’s heart swells and she smiles back, the cigarette butt between her teeth bouncing slightly.

she sticks her hand out towards you, “kuina” you shake it softly and introduce yourself, and begin to move down the booth to invite her to sit before chishiya cuts you off

“dont, shes not staying.” he says cooly, not even looking at you but rather kuina.

kuina raises an eyebrow, and chishiya gets up

“get back to your room safely. i’ll see you soon. “ his hands confide in his pockets and he walks out of the dining area, leaving kuina a few feet behind.

she quickly bids you goodnight and says how happy she is to have met you, and follows chishiya quickly.

you’re really confused, where are the two going? why are they leaving you alone… and what on earth are they doing?

you decide theres too many possibilities, some of which youd rather not know about or imagine- and choose to throw your now empty plate out and head back to bed.

chishiya is trying his best not to snap at kuina as she persistently inquires him about you.

“how’d you meet her?”

“a game.”

“oh? i doubt you helped her like some knight in armor” he sneers at her comment, “ah kuina you know me so well” she shrugs her shoulders as they step closer to the planning room.

“just don’t get why she hasn’t branched out to someone a bit more welcoming.”

though to another person, this would seem insulting, chishiya knows kuina well enough to know she’s being genuine- and knows his behavior quite well. he secretly agrees with her, he’s not exactly some warm and gentle person- and maybe you’d be better off with someone who is. but he can’t risk you meeting people and becoming attached, he needs you afterall for the plan to continue.

deep inside though, he enjoys the fact that he’ll get to see you so often.

[unhingedlesbear]

no yeah big agree about the smg fandom being embarrassing... i genuinely think that there are trolls that are seeing which ships are popular and then purposefully botting against them, especially on the polls that are joke ship vs actual genuine ship (like bl*gbank vs the x reader, the latter of which has been complained about since round one. censoring names so this doesn't show up in tags).

i mean, HOW did bl*gbank go from winning in the morning (my time) by ~3%, to losing by that much an hour before the poll closed? same with the fl*ss/j*lia poll, it was winning by ~1% earlier in the day then (egregiously) lost by ~10%. those two polls also have way more votes than any of the other polls in the round. ALL of the tags are from people in support of those f/f ships (or otherwise against the other ships) and NONE for the others. it is very, very fishy.

SO, I think that there is a very, very high likelihood of the c*rator/h*ll poll being botted in this round. it is the next best "annoying" submission still here, and it was 100% boosted by someone (or maybe a group) in the last round (again, from 1% loss to almost 10% win. absolutely ridiculous).

we could try not reblogging the polls this round and not voicing preferences but i think the trolls know what most people will go for by now and vote against it (and like i said, more than likely boost c*rator/h*ll). it's down to the wire now though, not many polls to keep an eye on, so if a ship (or even multiple like last round) goes from winning to suddenly losing by a horrible margin, with way more focus on that poll than the others... well, i've made it clear what i think.

even though i think some people might recognise me anyway i am sending this on anon. i felt like i needed to send what i've observed to someone outside of my circle

NO RIGHT bc I know some of it 100% has to be trolling. There's actually no way more people are interested in those curator ships than popular ships like bl*gbank (not sure if saying the ship names affect anything but I'm gonna censor them too jic)

and YEAH that rapid decline in bl*gbank votes in like just a few hours def had me thinking there was trolling going on in the back. And YEAH I didn't even realize about the fl*ss/j*lia ship but damn thats just... yikes. and YEAH you raise a really good point in like all the tags being actual supporters of the f/f ships whereas nobody actually said anything about the ships they were up against yet somehow winning...

And yeah it is just weird af how they seemed to go after f/f ships even if those did end up winning in the end, the fact that they should have been easy wins but still came so close is... odd.

And yeah, maybe not reblogging the next round is a good idea, but I'm not sure if that would stop the troll votes tbh.

And thanks for sending this in! You raise some great points and suggestions. Here's hoping the next round goes a bit better...

[royaltrios]

here's some notes on my recent chsc: what you're missing

-since i published as needed as last year's snow in january, i've been busy trying to graduate and not had any time to read or write or even really think about genshin. then i visited our chsc server friends for a few days beginning of june and i came back and haven't stopped writing since

-on the drive up me and taho spent most of the two hours yapping about chsc, and it was lovely but also extremely extremely strange for me to hear someone praise my writing irl. im genuinely just stumbling through word documents like a bow-legged fawn so

-starting back up with writing this summer i started working things out on physical paper in a notebook. its actually been really fun/feels different than notes app/sticky note-ing it. i still did use sticky notes for puzzling out intricacies of the smut tho (and then proceeded to pretty much use none of it) i'll attach a pic of my notes here for fun even though its slightly horrifying to do

-like most of my fics ive had this one waiting in the wings for a while, basic premise though was just 'chsc first time happens after scara backhands childe in front of people and childe gets very horny about that'. wrote it over about two weeks, fight scene fucked me up until i just locked in and wrote all of it at once at 2am. spent a while rearranging the smut then sent it to pachi to beta, forced myself not to look at it during those days, got it back and made isolated edits and was too embarrassed to read the smut i wrote 2 weeks ago again so i just posted it. hope its ok

-i always always always have trouble with scara during harbinger era. its because im a chronic overexplainer/overjustifier for characters getting together. for his actions during that time i lean on the little tiny bit we ever saw of it and that's mostly abrasiveness... but you gotta pull on how wanderer acts/ his backstory a bit too to like really see where hes coming from at that point in the story. halfway thru writing i realized he wouldnt act the way i was imagining him acting, had to fix that, then had to tweak the rest of the fic

-basically; i think childe would accept that he has a thing for scaramouche without too much thought. he's into mean people who're older than him + match his freak. he goes towards what makes him feel good. scara on the other hand i think... he immediately justifies the pull he feels as 'childe's stupid enough that i can use him'/'he worships me without being told'. this is a guilty pleasure for both of them until they realize its not (which is what i hoped to set up by beginning it with their abyss connections-- they're alike from the very beginning and they're both being used in different ways) <- i talked to pachi some in the middle of writing and it helped me puzzle out what chsc would be feelin a bit more. ty dr pachi phd in childe characterization

-had to have like multiple tabs open of bible's rgg pwp fics as emotional support. i filtered fics tagged 'cunniligus' in my bookmarks more than once. i was floundering. 90% of what i write or consider writing is E rated but i don't actually get much fulfillment out of describing smut. however i kind of tried really hard here bc i know thats what 99% of people are reading this for and even though i hate when i have to write the words scaramouche and clit directly next to each other i ended up pretty proud of the smut here.

random favorite bit:

“Well, it—” Childe's hips buck up into Scaramouche's fist. With a strained expression across his face and in a tone that sounds a little too genuine, he says, “feels kinda... different, since it's you." It's as bold-faced and earnest as anything else he's heard Childe say. But it's a sort of confirmation that Scaramouche was hoping to avoid—whilst simultaneously enjoying dancing around it. Stupid to give him this much leeway, this much permission, and not expect the guy who does everything else with the ruthlessness and loyalty of a hunting dog not to extend that to this.

i liked this bc i felt like i managed to nail down scara realizing he might've bit off more than he can chew without disrupting the smut. and childe + dog metaphor + shaky earnest confessions + L + ratio

-my penchant for having characters write letters in fic returns (almost as bad as my thing with inserting flashbacks in the middle of stuff) (i like first person but i dont like it in fic so this is the only way i can do it)

-looped teenage dirtbag (title + captured how i was trying to play childe here) (friend told me recently the singer of wheatus went to hs around where we grew up?), against the kitchen floor by will wood (taho's doing), some high energy 2000s stuff while revising the fight scene, my age gap oriented pl + will stetsons rabbit hole cover during the smut

i'll leave whoever reads this with a teenage dirtbag induced write-up i did to try and work out why i ended up liking the title i chose so much:

what you're missing-- what you're letting pass you by. what you don't have by not looking at me, what you'll want back in the future. what you don't have by not having me. what you've been trying to find, to grasp. what you didn't know you were missing.

[applepies-and-starlight]

sorry for this incoming long rant in your inbox

I have a hot take w/r/t ishqueg queerbaiting and canto v in general. I think the incel kerfuffle had something to do with it. they don't want to threaten Ishmael's (imagined) sexual availability to the (prioritized) heterosexual male audience by explicitly confirming her lesbianism¹ because said idea of sexual availability is part of their business model as a gacha game. much has been correctly stated about LC's art design and the avoidance of stereotypically sexualized designs. but the characters are still hot. you're supposed to find them attractive.

there's a lot in C5 that feels weird and disjointed and I wouldn't be surprised if they made some last minute changes. this is why heathcliff pulls ishmael out of the white ego death goo out of nowhere² (I mean he spends the entire canto complaining and even floats the idea of going it alone inside the Pallid Whale even though he admits they'd irretrievably lose people in the process) when it's Dante who was the one rebuilding trust with her and helping her pull free from her spiral. (For that matter multiple characters have interactions with her in C5: Dante, Rodya and even Outis.) the white ego death goo scene makes a lot more sense as the capstone for Dante and Ishmael, doesn't it? I think it was, originally, but Dante isn't male as far as we know and they might have realized that none of the people pushing the action in the canto were men. obviously unacceptable if you don't want to alienate the incels in your audience. I mean, shit, "heathcliff and ishmael learn a bit about why they're each Like That and make peace³" would have at least been an arc, but that's not really what happened.

yeah I dunno sorry again for rambling semi-coherently but C5 and its inconsistencies really bothered me. queequeg⁴ deserved better.

¹Or bi/pansexuality, but I can only do so much discourse in one ask.

²one more note. the scene is clearly meant to be important because it gets its own CG *when even Queequeg's death didn't* but like -- it doesn't seem to have changed their dynamic even a little bit. during the Green Ordeal bit Outis says Heathcliff is the least trustworthy member of the team (or something like that) and Ishmael agrees! it's like it never happened. she's still offhandedly mean to him later.

³or make out. I'm not into heath/ish in the slightest, as you probably inferred, but whatever. they're much more interesting to me as platonic haters.

⁴one last thing. it really is unbelievable that they shied away from explicitly acknowledging the queer relationship while saying shit like "you unearthed her broken heart" and having a scene of Ishmael planning out her life with Queequeg and mentioning "her hidden wounds that only I saw" (paraphrasing here). they don't need to have like them scissoring onscreen or anything but come on. even the 173-year-old source material was more upfront!

Anon gets it (even when i only half get it; wonderfully worded anon(/genuine))

Honestly, in light of this rant, I'm curious about an alternate timeline where the incel controversy never happened, sure it would most likely happen by the time Canto V Happens™ instead (because, as you said, lesbianism) but I'm wondering if they would've been more open about Ishqueg's dynamic...

[raiivn]

The one and (hopefully) only Nijisanji-related post I'll write. Inspired by getting Yugo's Queen of Hearts cover AND Zaion/Maririn's Identity covers back to back in my playlist.

Right now, Nijisanji's digging a grave for themselves.

Yugo's graduation was COMPLETELY unexpected. It seems like only the man himself knew, as the rest of Noctyx's tweets on it showed either well-feigned confusion and shock or... you know. They genuinely had no idea this would happen.

Yugo got terminated. He did not 'peacefully graduate'. He got practically fired. And Anycolor sure as hell knew what they were doing by disclosing Zaion's terms of graduation now.

Anycolor INC did not disclose the reason of Yugo's termination. A lot of people right now are saying that clearly U-san (Yugo's liver) left on better terms with NIJI corpo as a whole than Sayu (Zaion's liver), but you have to realize.

Yugo may not have done anything too bad. It may just be a conflict of interest, or woeful misalignment, or whatever. It's not for us to know or care, apparently. They may not have done anything too bad, but what they did clearly stacked up against themself. They still, clearly, did something bad to get fired.

Zaion, however, is a different case. She got fired and practically leaked on nyfco for the termination (and probably for reasonable cause, as I was shocked by seeing her entire list of offences). She had over 10 reasons on that list, with an 'and more!' solidifying it. Now, I agree that all of it was Sayu's fault. She should've known better. She's with an audience of fucking weirdos, but she has NO RIGHT to speak about sensitive topics in such a lighthearted manner. People played it off as dark humour, but there is a difference between toeing the line and leaping over it entirely.

Additionally, her genmates had multiple talks with her. My main problem with Anycolor here is:

Why did they hire her, even with the background checks and all?

Why did they give her multiple chances, even when others protested and told them not to? (Others meaning the fans, btw)

What has their quality of livers gone down to?? People bash on Hex and Zaion for their "aha uwu quirks", Koto's a NEET and the girls are both Japanese, Ver is an obsessive nerd, etc. The only one not surrounded by controversy in XSOLEIL is Doppio (just barely, because apparently he did nsfw shit with his pl?).

I think that, honestly, if Niji had cut this off in the start, none of the Zaion leaks and drama would've happened. Obviously they did a bit better with Yugo, because even if they were terminated--other livers are still in contact with him. They still respect him.

And, as of right now, it doesn't look like either the audience or the livers can respect Zaion (and, as a result, Niji) for the complete fiasco this caused.

If I'm being honest? I think Hex may need to get terminated for his actions as well. While I understand and appreciate him coming out as a survivor of SA and saying that it was a really shitty move for Sayu to make, his past actions kinda... ya know. Make him seem a bit worse in XSOLEIL as well.

If needed, I'll create a pt 2 with his actions.

[sameoldrigmarole]

We need to talk about Friend-zoning

No one will read this, but I need to get it off my chest. Friend-zoning needs to stop.

In the recent past, I changed jobs. It’s one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. However, to an ex-coworker, this apparently made me a target.

I’ve known this boy (I call men, men, when they act like it) for 4 years. I’ve never treated him any different than any other person I’ve worked with. Because I wasn’t a raging bitch to him from the start we just have a “connection”.

It started with him texting me when he was drunk. I’d blow it off and tell him to sleep it off. It progressed to texting me at a work function I was invited to while his wife was on his arm (did I mention he was married?). I again asked him how many drinks he’d had and when he insisted he was being sincere I, gently but firmly, told him we would never be more than friends.

The way he turned so quickly. “I really feel a connection with you and I know you feel it too.” Strike one was telling me how I should feel. He only knows me through work. He’s never seen the real me. Honestly strike one should have been trying to hit me up when he’s MARRIED. But I gave him the benefit of the doubt.

Then he tried to imply I wasn’t interested in men. Like there’s no way in the world he could ever be turned down, I must be a lesbian. Sir, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. I’d honestly prefer a woman to speaking with you at this point. But I’m asexual. I don’t give a shit about anybody, but that’s none of your damn business and I don’t have to explain myself to you. Not to mention he’s 13 years my senior and MARRIED. Strike two.

I SAID NO. But when has that EVER been enough.

He started texting me in the middle of the night last weekend. I realized the day was coming where I was going to have to be professionally mean. I didn’t respond to the texts stating that he wanted to see me “can you get away?” As if I’m the one that’s sneaking around. He texts again two days later “why didn’t you text me back?” I was sleeping and I don’t owe you anything! He had the audacity to tell me there was no way I was asleep. Boy! I’ve made every decision to NOT have you in my bed. Are you seriously trying to tell me why I didn’t respond.

And you’re thinking. Why entertain this? Why don’t you just tell him to fuck off? Well, the industry I’m in, I can’t lose the connections I have at my old job. Not in a bad way at least. So I’m doing everything I can to not turn this into a bad situation for either of us. I’m not trying to ruin anyone’s life here.

TODAY he texts me while I’m at work in meetings all day. “Let’s go get a drink tonight.” I didn’t respond right away. I’m at work. I don’t have time for the bullshit. If no one’s dying, I’ll talk to you later. This fucker texts me an hour later saying “I’ll take that as a no, sorry I won’t bother you anymore.”

Strike three.

One thing that people don’t know/understand about me, I do everything I can to make time for people. I’ve always felt like I’ve bothered those around me. Call it childhood trauma or whatever. This was possibly one of the worst things someone could say to me. I go out of my way to make sure people don’t think I’m bothered by them. This was my tipping point. It infuriated me and I don’t take things sitting down. I put it out there. Told him I wasn’t going to apologize for not getting back to him when I was at work. I’m neither his wife or girlfriend. I owe him nothing. I’ve now said multiple times that this wouldn’t go further than a friendship and I’d hoped that he would respect me enough to accept that and not accuse me of being bothered by him when I make time for people when it’s genuine. And I told him that saying that and treating me this way hurt and I don’t deserve it.

He went off. Apologizing if I misunderstood him and telling me that he would appreciate it if i stopped speaking about it because it’s getting around the office. Boy! I’ve spoken to you. Sorry if you can’t stop running your mouth. And what’s with the gaslighting. I have the receipts. There’s no misunderstanding what you were doing.

But back to the main topic. The whole time he accused me of friend-zoning him. Because I was friendly? Because I listen when people talk? I never asked for anything from him. Never lead him into thinking that this was anything more than friendship, but I’m doing him wrong because I didn’t give in and go out with him? I cared more about my female coworkers than I ever did about him, but I’m the problem because he’s delusional?

Stop saying you’re friend-zoned. YOU misinterpreted a situation. It sucks. It doesn’t feel good. But just own up to it!

We are not to blame for your hurt feelings if we didn’t know or reciprocate them in any way.

I refuse to be villainized because I didn’t go along with a predators schemes. Because that’s all this was. He was trying to manipulate me into doing something that I didn’t want to do. Does that make men feel better? Having a girl give you a sympathy lay because they feel bad for you? Does that not make you feel as small as you are?

Get yourself out of the damn friend-zone and grow the fuck up.

[zalrb]

It’s not that the book daisy jones and the six is adapting is such a masterpiece (it’s not, it’s a light read, and I’m not surprised it took off on TikTok), but I at least read it and believed daisy and billy were it for each other. It’s purposefully vague, and opinions are divided, but I did genuinely get the impression that that was the case, and NONE of it translates to the screen, somehow, despite them really trying.

The actors are all up in each other’s faces. Their connection is spelled it out, and actually, maybe, that is the problem. Should’ve gone for multiple seasons, or more episodes, and tried to SHOW it, instead of continuously telling the audience what they’re supposed to be seeing. The lack of chemistry also doesn’t help, so here I go, watching for crumbs of Eddie and Camila.

Yeah, and I think also for me, like, I've read so many accounts of musicians or actors talking about the kind of intimacy and passion and wreckage that can happen when working on an album or working on a set, like whether it is Fleetwood Mac which was a big inspiration for the book

“Eventually I fell in love with her and it was chaotic, it was on the road and it was a crazy love affair that went on longer than any of us really remember — probably several years by the end of it"

or Wyclef and Lauryn Hill where he wrote about their affair:

During that time, Lauryn and I ate, slept, woke up, ate, slept, and did music; that was our world. And when we began to tour together, every night was like a fairytale world and we were living in our dream. We’d each have our rooms but we’d always end up in the same one. It felt like that relationship was real, and it was. It was love; it was lust. It was more intense than some teenage romance, because we knew ourselves. It was the type of pure love that burns bright but burns out fast.

That album came out the way it did because of our passion. You take us both and intertwine us and put it on a piece of vinyl and that’s what you get. The emotion is real, and I believe that is what connected with so many people. We made fans out of people who had never listened to hip-hop. None of them knew what was going on behind the scenes, but they felt that passion in the music. The music came with a kiss. Our physical relationship was an important part of what inspired the music. I’m not saying that we couldn’t have made an album like "The Score" without being together physically, but I think the tension and passion and emotion that you hear in the singing was there because it’s the sound of people experiencing something. If someone is in love or sad or angry—just experiencing something intense—you hear it in the intonation of their voice. You can’t fake that.

and also about how he loved his wife at the same time

Claudinette to me was like Wonder Woman. She was smart and going to school and I had barely graduated high school. And she believed in me; that made me feel like a million bucks. Actually I used to borrow money from her to go to the clubs because she wanted me to hear what was going on so that I could be better at what I wanted to do. She was mature and supportive — beautiful, driven, and independent.

So I know what I'm supposed to be seeing when I watch this show even if I didn't read the book because I'm basically supposed to be seeing the abovementioned onscreen except in a different genre of music but you absolutely need a specific and very intense kind of chemistry to bring that kind of vibe to life and they don't have it.

So when I watch it and I'm like, yeah, yeah, they were immediately confrontational because they're kindred spirits so his response is antagonism, then they go somewhere to write music and realize they vibe and then something just happens when they record and they're writing songs to each other that the whole band sings and it's just oh so intense and oh so painful because he's married and now she's married, like the scenes are there that show this plus the dialogue but because the chemistry is lacking all I'm seeing are the bad parts, I just look at it like this is self-indulgent and cruel toward Camila and it doesn't seem that serious, get over yourselves. So even if we spent more time with them writing the songs and bonding over this "connection" they have, because the chemistry isn't there I feel like I'd be even more pissed off hahaha because we'd be spending even more time with them and I'm just like Eddie and Camila are doing a better job of having that vibe than they are, jfc.

[whispers-in-daydreams]

TEN Q’s

1. When are you usually online?

Mostly weekends. I’m too braindead after work to try to put out anything worthwhile. I’ll lurk here and there during the week. But I’m mainly most active during the weekends. 

2. What verses are you involved in?

none. All of my OC’s are in their own verse. I’ve never had good luck with interacting with ready made fandoms. Not for lack of trying. Just....I suppose I wasn’t what they were looking for. 

What is your biggest RP pet peeve?

Not giving me anything to go off of. Be it a one liner , ( I really can’t do those), or multiple paragraphs. If I finish reading it and have no idea what even just happened or have no feel for the other muse, I don’t know what I’m supposed to do and be genuine in my response. And it makes it hard to want to continue.  Lack of communication. It just causes all kinds of problems and assumptions and hurt feelings.

4. Are you drawn to specific types of muses? 

It depends on which of my muses I’m using. Some of them are drawn to light, easy going muses. Others are drawn to those who need to be saved. From whatever; themselves, a situation, life. While others yet...are drawn to all the wrong things. The dark. The mysterious. The dangerous. They crave to know what lies in the shadows, regardless of how terrifying the outcome could be. Curiosity, is their greatest downfall.   

5. Are there reoccurring themes in your writing that people might not notice?

Mmmm......I suppose my reoccurring theme would be immersion. I like to create stories and worlds where you forget it’s not real. Where you feel like you’re the one in whatever scenario is happening. You can taste the bitter and sweet in the chai iced latte. You can feel the crunch of dead leaves beneath your boots. Feel the sharp prick of a paper cut and the warmth of the blood as it seeps onto your finger.  Writing is all about escape right? I want to create that escape. 

6. What are your favourite RP trends?

I don’t keep up with them enough to even know what the current trend is. 

7. What is your process for starting a new story with someone? I totallllly suck at plotting. Yeah I can come up with ideas. But for me, if we talk about it, I already know what’s going to happen. There’s no mystery. No intrigue. I already know what’s coming. And that kills any interest for me. I’m a ‘wing it’ style writer. I like to just throw out a starter or ask that could create something. Roll off of whatever reply I get. I tend to reply in the moments right after reading the reply I received. it’s freshest in my mind, so that whatever my muse says or does after is natural and not rehearsed. If I try to reply to something over a span of time, the original idea gets muddled. I have to read and reread the reply , losing important details because the effect of the first read has passed. 

8. How do you feel about duplicates?

Seeing as all my muses are OC’s, I’ll shank someone who tries to duplicate my kids. 

9. How long have you been involved in roleplaying?

Geeeeez. Like I can remember that far back lol. I remember back when there was yahoo chat groups. I’d write on there. An OC of course, because I knew I couldn’t bring a Canon the justice their original creator gave them. I suppose....since I was 15? I think that’s when I realized there were other people I could write with and didn’t laugh at me for some of the wild ideas I came up with. 

10. Is there a muse or verse you could write in, but haven’t?

Muse- no . I’m completely a-ok with not writing any canon muses. I wouldn’t be able to stay true to who they were supposed to be. My imagination would change them too much. 

Verse: ....I don’t really have a specific verse I just haaaave to interact with. Though the darker the verse the more interest I have in it. I suppose I’ve just had too much fluff 100% of the time. I need nitty gritty. ugly. No holds barred. There’s not a lot like that out there. At least...I haven’t been able to find them. 

tagged by- @s-talking , @chronicparagon

tagging: anyone who wants to do this.