#i genuinely just dont rememebr

[altruistic-meme]

just discovered i have blocked a user on ao3 and couldn't for the life of me remember why only to find out i ALSO blocked them on tumblr :')

[mobblespsycho100]

U DO ???? JUST IN SILENCE???? DO U EVEN TALK TO URSELF OR SMTH??

I do talk to myself sometimes but most of the time its just gonna be me staring at my screen in silence JSHDJSH

[oflgtfol]

why do so many leaders actively want to be leader since they were kits like idk it gets so old having these characters spend their entire lives fighting for their ambition its like snore. what about a super edition about one of the classic iconic leaders who never planned on becoming leader but became leader anyway

[tu-es-gegg]

28 , 32 and 1!

28. Favorite animation(s)

(i have so fuckign much holy shit)

32. Drop a lore hot take🔥 (Or cold take🧊 who cares)

i can try to name a few

idk if this is a hot take, lmao i think the presidential elections arc were kinda mid in retrospect (this one is kinda hard to discuss because of yknow) but like, at the time it was ok it was enjoyable and there were some good additions to the server because of the end result, but like idk the election debates themselves weren't really fun for me to watch because theres a lot of yelling and ofc irl political theories and influences got roped in because thats just kinda what happens, and thus people there also fought abt it, also like half the candidates say outright they hate the federation and are running for president to WORK with teh federation so like that's not going to go great so idk what was going on, its weird because dsmp elections i liked but ig at the time theyre weren't taken as much seriously, and the stakes in the elections were not focused on politcal bureaucratic gains and more of personal stakes for a nation itself. idk when i look back at the elections and try to watch back then in 2023, even from gegg perspective i only could stand to rewatch the dinner and everyone hanging out, the actual presidential debates i couldnt BEAR at all. also elq wtf were you going to do with charlie please explain

also i dont understand why doied exists like the only other precursor to that is abuleoier somehow on the island and also having a past with being in prison adn such, but like i was so confused when he appeared like what. i love roier's lore i loved the tape streams, i just wish there was more prep to that, the namemc spoilering and the messages were really clever but i wanted at least SOME hints before doied jsut.... appeared.

uhhh the bobby death should not have been counted its obvious there was lag at the time and other egg deaths because of lag was also not counted, i cant rememebr exactly what happened for them to come to the conclusion of the death but god bobby did not deserve to die, damn you telmex

AND ALSO I WILL SAY THIS, QSLIME WAS AT LEAST A GOOD ENOUGH FATHER TO FLIPPA, MAYBE NOT A GREAT INFLUENCE, he wasn't the best at first is the thing, like yes he did instigate fights and cause a bit of an unstable household because of his very temperamental attitude but when nearing the later parts, he learned the swing of things of being a good enough parent, like he paid attention to flippa's needs, the difficult part of it was communication because at the time they couldnt communicate without the preset signs, instead of the free use of jsut text, it was only later she started using sign for slime, she did with mariana but not yet charlie as much at that point, plus i think there were some issues of flippa understanding charlie just generally (which is fair even i dont understand him), ITS THE THING OF LIKE, he kinda was fumbling at first but flippa genuinely was happy and taken care of by both parents. its was unfortunate that was cut short because of the thing. most part is jsut a bad influence in terms of being selfish and possibly spreading that to flippa but honestly i wish she stuck aroudn logner so i could see that happen GOD;;;; it frustrates me because qslime's path to being a good parent IS RIGHT THERE but when trying to try again he's scared of fuckign up liek everyone tells him and liek that reminder of his mistakes isnt helping him in the slightest to actually trying again, GOD GOD:;;;;

1. Favorite theory and least favorite theory (If you have one)

ok i like the theory that the federation made the codes in teh first place and then tried to cover up but they came back to get the islanders out any which way they can, then leading to my theory that codeflippa was a real egg at one point because of how the resistance describe her in that one report, not a faulty vode but a faulty egg , so i have reason to beieve she was an egg merged with a code in order to have a stable form the way she is. also that theory that at some point the eye guy started to corrupt codes themselves which is why some codes went rogue against orders from the resistance.

uhhhhh least favourite, idk i dont have any theories i dont like much, mostly because they are kinda convincing, i think i saw maybe a theory abt ll the islanders were experiments from the federation, maybe some select few have fistory but i dont think ALL of them

[guitarhaver]

genuinely am such a bad person that my own concious blocks it out bc i could never live constantly rememebring what ive done to people. i have been a manipulative piece of shit, and i just get to walk around like im not?? i just get this guy that ive been fucking inlove with forever??? i dont deserve these things. i dont care if it was in the past, its still bad. im still that person. i wonder if this is how you feel, but in your case youre not as bad as i am. for sure.

[reallapiscake12]

yknwo i've been thinking

where the hell did the idea of the underrealm come from? like im not super in the know of all of the CRP intricacies (i havent even read ieatpasta or pastamonsters im such a fake fan lol-) but i dont rememebr seeing anything about where the underrealm come from, was it from pastamonsters??? or creeps? was it jsut a thing the fandom made up on a whim for zalgo or just randomly? and Why did it get so big that pretty much every au mentions it? im genuinely curious cause stuff like this confuses me

[gayspock]

ok night night

genuinely fuckingmadness what doesnt set me off what doesnt make it worse. i knowisound so fucking stupid and i start to go nuts sobbing thinking about how fucking little i must seem. then its like who is even caring that much. then i go nuts BECAUSE nobody is caring that much. then i realise none ofitwill change anything regardlessand it passes me by and im just fucking nobody and nothing. where was i. yeah what doesnt set me the fuck off i dont know i think everything just makes me melt down and i cant find anything. that even remotely fucking offsets it or anything that helps or anyhting at all that i can fucking hold onto like a fucking lifeline that i dont fuck up. and it doesnt matterhow much im exposed to it it just gets worse and worse and worse. i htink its the only thing i can ever fucking do. i think ican do nothing but rememebr the times ive tried to fuckingtalk to people in the past and howmuch of a frustrating fucking force i am but i genuinely donot fucking have anything else in me but fucking rot and even that is a fucking groanworthy fucking melodrama but its fucking true i cant fucking responmd to anything i just fucking let everyone dwn but theres nothing else there to do or to giveand if there really fucking im desperate to fuckingknow but i feel like its jsut circles . every attempt jsut feels like a resounding fucking rejection or fucking failure heres another thing that doesnt work thatmakes it worse thats this thats whatever let me rub it in for you like salt in the fucking wound i think

if eel sick iwth myself and start to go nuts htinking about how fucking hard it is to ever talk to people how fucking little there isleft to even try to do so how fucking isolated i am how little energy i have left in me how theres nothing for anyone to fucking latch onto how even if i somehow summoned enough energy, the sort ive not fucking managed in years, to somehowfind some sort of companionship in even the vaguest most distant of senses something something the loneliness that sets in isnt just that i dont think i can ever fucking try to make a connection anywaybecause i cant fucking do anything but tank it all and insert a fucking litany of otherbullshit and knowing if i could even manage to not be alone for a seocnd it would be gone sof ast when everyone fully fucking understands hoiw muych of a lost cause i am , like the actual fucking anger at how fucking incompetent a person could be and i fucking feel it and iknow its there and no matter how hard i try to fucking fight it because it doesnt matter itnever matters notihng means fucking anything and it hasnt for s so fucking long andi just breakdown i getupset and nothing shifts and its so so fucking pointless how hard it fufcking hurts and it never means anything its jsut so fucking trivial at this point try to fuckign find some fucking thing

i keep jsut getting so angry and hateful in response to everything to evertything and god help me i am trying to fucking bite it down please dont fucking be a cunt and take it out on everyone else but i cant fucking suppress it i fucking want to snap at everyone like who fucking caresany more its fucking nasty and its pathetic butevery time i see anyone else happy i just start to get so so fucking . bitter inside like its not fucking fair type bullshit i fucking hate everyone that has someone else in their life that they cant count the number of conversations theyve had on their hands outside of a work context in the past few years thattheres things they want to live for and things theyre excited about or things theyre even good at and have some fucking purpose in and i start to get fucking angry and upset knowing everyone else just fuckinggets to experience the world even its fukcing hard sometimes but ijust cant even figure out whatswrong with me knowing damn well its just nothing i jsut. pure fucking inadequacy pure fucking emptiness that nothings ever going to fucking fix it and i know nothings ever going to fucking fix it and i try to fucking just letmyself go sofucking much but i just get so fucking mad and uspoet like its anyone elses fucking problem and i cant . seem to fucking getanywhere or do anyhting or feel anything any more i think about howmany days ive just lost to jsut trying to make it fucking go away and somehow thats the best i have thats the best i can do or have ever managed to do and i thinki about the fucking way thats all im capable of i really fucking resent every fucking day i seriously do is anyone else crazy or like

[samscows]

rewatching playthings (2x11) thoughts. i rememebr loving this episode so please, supernatural, dont let me down. again lovely set, just a big old haunted house with creepy dolls and creepy blonde twins. got the aesthetic down. makes me want to rewatch sharp things as well. ava!!! ava got mentioned!!! love ha. pffff the antiquing joke remains funny sorry to say. the hanging scene was genuinely quite creepy. the drunk scene really can be either hilarious or just sad depending on what mood ur in. and im feeling serious. hangover representation! love the use of the pool and the plastic cover. location scouts went off with this one. sam turns into a proper action hero in the last act lol. he just flies off the balcony into the pool. and he gets a hug for his efforts. nice. sam should get hugged more often. loved the ending especially - is it creepy, is it sweet, who is to say. who can judge eh.

[1loer]

Hello! Just wondering what dr ships are rotting your brain or thinking about for the past few weeks. What are your Mikan ships as well? Btw I love your art you're so awesome :))

omg u have no idea how happy this ask made me lol!!! hahaha!!! thank u for enabling me c:<

DR ships that i have like. quite consistent brain rot for been attacking me the last few weeks. I just find Ougoku so fucking cute and precious i love it so much and Naegiri has reared its head and im in a constant state of komahina+nami feels bc im writing a fic for them rn!!

Soulfriends!!Soulfriends too oh my God soulfriends like Destroys me it hit me so hard when I played SDR2 for the first time. I really loved Kaz (despite everything :')) so i did all his fte's and just. Oh my god they're so special to each other!!!!!!! I also hc Hajime as being Kaz's bi awakening lol (tho im p.sure thats a popular headcannon) bc it just makes too much sense. But also like. I just think they'd make such good and like special friends. IDK its weird i ship them but its more like the most intense BroTP i've ever had but i defo think Kaz goes through having a crush on Hajime for the longest time OHAEROGO I like to think Hajime would be very physically affectionate to him too? Mostly bc he thinks its funny the way Souda gets so riled up by it but I think he'd love giving him like forehead kisses and ruffling his hair in like. A platonic/flirty way???? The song for them that really gets me (bc im very musically inclined and also ask me about my character playlists OTJRIGJOIEA) is that Stev en Unive rse one no matter what . like i litro get so emotional listening to it imagining them!!!!! the "through whoever you've been, through whoever you'll be, through whatever you lose, you will always have me, at the end of your rope, i'll be holding you tight, im gonna be right by your side no matter what" bit. *slams my head into a pillow and screams* just!!!! They could both do w/ each other you know??? Someone who loves them and trusts them and believes in them and someone to just have fun and be themselves w/ and joke w/ and oh my god oh ym god its literally so important !!!!!!!

Funny you should mention Mikan ships tho bc actually! A mikan ship has been fuckin me up recently haha! I've suddenly become like. SO soft for hajime/mikan. I wasn't too into it when i played her route in SDR2 and it ended w/ marriage, but like. looking back on it. theres very few characters Hajime is like. actually soft and gentle w/. Chiaki is one and Mikan is another and just. oh ym god that makes me m e lt . like he cares for her so much? and he's so worried for her? and he just wanted to hold her and protect her!!!! and yes! she deserves it!!!!!!!!she deserves someone who'll love her properly!!!! truly!!! She's been through so much and Hajime being that safe space for her just. dont touch me. dont look at me. I genuine think he'd be SO protective of her. and patient. and she wont know what to do bc she's never had that before and it'd be so scary for her but he'd help her through it all ARGH!!!! Not to reference another SU song but. god. dont listen to Found while imagingn Hajime singing it to her. dont do it. oh ym god. AND ALSO their like. Omg the way they can both relate (depending on how much of Izuru you believe hajime can rememebr) and understand each other's relationship w/ Junko in a way that like. really. the other despairs couldn't. bc only they had such a close relationship w/ her. I mean maybe Nagito could but. LOLLLL DO NOT PUT THEM IN A ROOM TOGETHER TO TALK ABOUT JUNKO OIAHJGIAI that'd be insane. no actually do it i want to see it i want to see Mikan go crazy and flat pack his ass like ikea furniture.

I'm also of the intense opinion that Mikan and Nagito do Not and Will not ever get on. Only because they're just. simultaneously too similar and too different. Like they're SO similar but they go about it in such different ways that i just think they'll never be able to fully understand each other so just cannot get along DESPITE having so much in common. like even before junko but ESPECIALLY after Junko. Also because its fucking hilarious to imagine. like its so funny. I think they should be allowed to hate each other actually. it'll probably be good for them.

I also. ofc. love the classics. I love Bandaid. its probably my main mikan ship tbh even tho i've become so fond of hajime/mikan. I just think. Ibuki would be like so good to balance her out. Bc ofc mikan is SO reserved and self-concious and Ibuki couldnt be either of those things if she tried. opposites attract. Also Ibuki is like. So emotionally intelligent? Idk if people really give her credit for that but like. God I loved her then i did her fte and that last bit where she reveals that like she just wanted Hajime to relax and shit oh my god i was blown out the water. Like OFC!!! OFC she's highly in tune w/ others emotions!! she wouldnt be able to form a band w/o that!! So i think that even though it may be a very intense version of opposites attract and Ibuki is very/...intense. oijaejoi . I think she'd be able to see where Mikan's true limits are and not force her past them, but be able to push her just far enough that she'd realise that like. it's okay to be yourself! its okay to say what you want! In that sense I think Mikan could probably grow as a character way more w/ Ibuki than w/ Hajime bc i think Hajime would treat her just too softly and not have the guts to push her in the ways she probably needs. Also i hc mikan as a hardcore lesbian so. Ya know OIGjoi

Wow ok i didnt think i'd have that much to say but u lit a fire under my ass anon! This is the most i've drawn in months LOL! There is a severe lack of Mikan on this blog considering how much i adore her so heres her w/ a few of my fave ships of hers. I love u so much i kiss ur forehead and tuck you into a rlly comfy bed and give u hot chocolate then read u a bedtime story. Also this is the treat at the end for anyone who actually read through all that bullshit OUHSEIOAJIOIJAIOJ

[segatoys]

time to talk about my dream last night in which i possessed a selfish dickhead cat guy. this post is loooong so theres stuff under the cut... but id appreciate u uys reading it cause i think i found something quite cool and neat

this is R. cant rememebr the rest of his name but it started with R. in this dream he wasnt me, its more like i waslike.. a gopro attached to him or something, seeing what he waa getting up to. He's part of a group of other cat beasts people that attempt to construct. like. portals, or their own dream worlds , with stolen objects of Mighty importantce to other people. the cat group had their own bubble.. similar to the 3 day timeloop beach house, it was disconnected from other dreams, but theirs wasnt as dilapidated. it was a white house with little to no rooms.

the house was divided into two floors - the first/ground floor was VERY large, open concept, no rooms. the walls were white (and a bit dirty) with wood flooring, various piles of objects littered the floors. there were windows but whatever was outside them was really bright so it might as well have been white right outside.

the second floor was very small in the center of the house, with walled staircase leading up to it. the second floor had two rooms. the door closest to the staircase, similar to the doors in corpse party, might as well have been a wall decoration - impossible to open. though it was implied whatever was behind there was impossible to get to. the second room belonged to the non-catboy brother of someone in the group where it seemed like he could only exist in the top of the staircase and this room. i think he and R had a really weird relationship, where R would basically fool around with him whenever he wanted, but when he saw something in the room hed want to take or just simply got bored, hed leave without saying anything.

the time i spent watching over the group, which felt like a LONG TIME, they only successfully made two portals - more like one and a half, since only one was ever travelled into (made by R's only friend in the group, pictured below,) and the other one was made successfully before R decided to destroy it. the portals are made by what looks like a pile of random objects, but the items are placed in very specific ways.

R's friend was the one who successfuly made a portal that he and R got to go in. it seemed like the group was attempting to make portals to make their own dream world separate from other entities. R's friend, who i'll just call F, seemed to successfully create their own dream by hand (these cats cant dream on their own, i dont think). the dream was this small sci-fi looking room with large test tubes... like something out of a movie or video game. F was really pleased and joyful at making this all on their own away from the group. R, with the short time i knew him, was very selfish and kind of narcissitic.. but he seemed genuinely happy for F, and even shared that joy together. it was really sweet to watch. Im glad i wasnt an actual entity in the room because i woulve hated to interrupt this for the pair.

i mentioned before the cat people probably cant dream on their own. i think this is what they referred to as (what i remember them calling) "the building problem". their houseworld was not their own, its just one of those abandoned dream bubbles (like the aforementioned time loop house...) and i think they knew they were running out of time without the ability to dream themselves. they cant build their own worlds in their sleep/subconcious for whatever reason, so they have to steal important objects from [human] dreams to sustain themselves...? now im actually wondering if it has to do with , for example, when i had to give the stairs of my old school to a deity i encountered. that was definitely an object of importance for me in my own dreams, so, huh. well anyways

R is really obsessed with cardinals. it seems like hes more obsessed with the concept of a cardinal and the word itself / how it sounds rather than an actual bird, since i neber even saw one when i was with him.

i departed from R after he and his group went to this new dreamscape... they went to someones dream that took place at a school located in a suburban/rural area. lots of grass and the school (very cubey, blocky, gray/blue) was surrounded by short chain link fences. Inside the school was also the same muted color palette with white tile floors. the school was having some emergency situation like a break-in; and whoever was dreaming this was plannign to get away in an old-looking car in the back of the school that was also surrounded by grass. R and his crew stole the car and thats when i woke up back in my own world

[jacobtheloofah]

wait till your tiktok followers figure out your icon is just you cosplaying doc scratch. lol maybe you should do a read of some of his dialog on there

its funny cuz like i genuinely dont rememebr if that was the original point?? i know i did gifs in like green suspenders and a green bowtie as a goof but mostly cuz i just like green lol i forget if i was like "lol im doc scratch," i know i did his voice a lot

[edelblau]

i am like. genuinely slipping pretty bad rn back into suicidal/self harm tendencies and idk what to do about iti KJLHFSDJAKLFDHJKSA its too late to call my doctor and i sure as shti am not calling the hotline bc its run by fucking idiots who just criticize me for not being eloquent about why i feel like shit lol

i keep trying to convince myself that moving will help and it probably will but then i look at my bank account and like.... i really am gonna try to force myself to move with (by the time we move) probably like. very much not enough

i try not to post about it because i feel IMMENSELY guilty complaining bc all told ive been fairly fortunate but despite having like, 700 rbs on my post now ive not made like. a lot a lot and ive been putting it into savings where i can but.... just the cost of furniture alone is gonna tear me to shreds and i cant ask for help from my family bc a. lol b. my aunt needs it more

my birthday is next month but idk if im even gonna like. get a gift for myself jkdsfkjksa;dfl like icant afford to treat myself or care about myself if i wannaget out of here i need to just focus down its agonizing and it hurts to like. not be able to even slightly indulge but what am i gonna do lol?

the harder it gets an the more mental pressure i feel the less capable i feel of the smallest tasks i cant do anything right i can barely ineract with people correctly i feel like im shriveling and failing and i hate myself so much i just wanna disappear i want all thinking to cease i want to become nothing and i dont want anyone to remember me or me to rememebr myself i just wanna be entirely erased i cant take this pressure this constant feeling of hopelessness and i refuse to put that pain on others

[alwaysxyou]

What happened on September 4?

my heartbeat literally just picked up bye last year it was a day where harry and louis decided it was the day of reckoning and to just bombard us with as much fucking shit as humanly possible. it started with pics of harry for the face magazine and i dont even rememebr what else because it genuinely went on for 8 fucking hours of just them going back and forth doing shit and us getting more content. it was fucking incredible but by the end of the day everyone was like CAN WE PLEASE PACE THIS OUT we were fucking exhausted it was great

[caelin-ismycity]

Please tell us more about Tellius ships

god theres a lot of ships with how many bitches there are in this game- like id have to play through the game some more which i plan on doing anyway to write an essay-ass anthology of all the good shit here but for now i can shoot off my faves

ike/boyd:

yall already know i like myself some elihec and one reason is cause of their lil rivalry/best friend relationship yknow- you can look at those losers romantically or not and it’d still be some Good Shit. 

same logic with ike/boyd honestly- especially with there bantering asses in the beginning and generally how boyd tends to think of ike immediately when it comes to finding a sparring partner or just helping him out during their quest with the tri-arrow attack discussed with rolf and oscar.

another scene i found cute was after ike and others disobeyed titania and sought out the bandits alone and when greil is about to rip into ike about disrespecting orders, boyd’s the first one (i think its been awhile since i played that chapter) to step up and take the blame (admitted by him to be pretty out of character which i like to interpret as boyd just being flustered that hes caught caring for ike beyond their competitiveness)

unfortunately, not only is fe9 hard to play legally because of its stupid price, but even if you did sell your soul to buy the game intelligence systems has cursed my household by not allowing ike and boyd to have any support conversations, nor any interactions all together beyond a certain chapter, so ike/boyd is one of the rarest pairs you can like in this series especially considering the most popular ship is ike/soren with the tellius series

ike/ranulf

ike and ranulf meet uhhh god i dont rememebr honestly- but they meet about halfway into the game when ike and co properly become associated with the beast laguz where ranulf, considerably, becomes a reoccurring ally to the greil mercenaries.

couple reasons why i love these two- one being the whole laguz/beorc thing ight (lemme get on that in a sec). i.e., ike is big on joining laguz and beorc together, and ranulf doesnt really seem to mind them (i say ‘doesnt seem to mind them’ because, if i remember right, ranulf has real issues trusting beorc and even tells ike that if he naively trusts people he’ll end up hurt). ergo, id imagine that ike would love to get to know more about the laguz alltogether and ranulf himself (he’s clearly curious considering h is supports with lethe as well). additionally, their C support is fuckin cute as hell with ranulf taking pride in making ike laugh/smile at one of his jokes (which tbh i thought would set the grounds for a lovely af A support but instead i get ranulf calling ike a nitwit for trusting him so easily so thanks intell).

another big moment for me is how ike hardly hesitated to defend ranulf from the other beorcs after he was discovered in that one really racist town (its the one where you get zihark and board nasir’s ship y’all know the one) even if it jeopardized the possibility of them escaping the town quietly (double points for ranulf insisting on ike leaving him alone and ike essentially telling ranulf to fuck off with that shit)

its utter trash that ranulf joins the mercenaries at the very end of the game (maybe chapter 25-26? you get JUST enough chapters to achieve their A support), not to mention he pops in-and-out of the gang’s path to actually talk to ike. but im grateful there’s some content for these two, even if there isn’t as much as i would like

kieren/oscar

again yall know i love that rivalry shit but this time it’s extremely one sided on kieran’s part (oscar more-or-less just dealing with it and not making a fuss about it). but damn if there isn’t potential, especially when you can take kieran’s insistent rivalry as some form of admiration for oscar (not to mention the possibilities of their past with oscar originally working alongside kieran)

double points for kieran’s insistence that oscar come back with him to work as a crimean knight again (obviously more because kieran’s genuinely astonished oscar would willingly work with lowly-payed, unknown, not-pristine mercenaries). you can really just take it as kieran really lowkey missing oscar but being too prideful to admit it

ill also be damned if oscar cooking with kieran/teaching him how to cook wouldnt be the tightest shit to watch; i cant tell if kieran would be too stubborn to let oscar fully mandate what he does, begrudgingly listens to oscar, or is utterly impressed with oscar’s culinary skills and insists that ‘only someone as amazing as his rival would obviously be fit with abilities like that’

kieren/rhys

not exactly phat on my radar but it is cute as hell considering how easily concerned rhys becomes of kieran (and for good reason to the fucker regularly bludgeons himself with an axe and he wrestles bears jesus christ man), so its easy to imagine rhys making the excuse to kind of baby kieran to make sure he isn’t seriously hurt on or off the battlefield to just look/watch him

its also pretty fun to imagine rhys going with kieran when the dumb bitch proudly tells the army he’s about to go bear wrestling and rhys getting to see kieran ;lightly’ clothed to fight a fucking bear

im pretty sure in their A support, rhys tells kieran that if he isn’t more careful then the army’ll lose their most valuable soldier to something as stupid as a self-inflicted axe wound. its obvious that rhys said something along the lines of that (as well as a couple of other things in that support) because he acknowledges kieran’s self importance, but its also cute to imagine that rhys was able to use that fact to his advantage to tell kieran how much he means to himself (bonus points if, alternatively, rhy’s dialogue would follow some shit like ‘I- uh... We can’t lose a soldier as important as you, Kieran.’)

gatrie/shinon

another lowkey one (considering shinon and gatrie are absent for a decent portion of the game post initial chapters), but the one support i did manage to get of them was enough to sell me- cause frankly i find the idea of shinon teasing gatrie about buying them dinner and gatrie just being like “hhrhrum” as he begrudgingly agrees to be endearing; i.e. the sinon mentallity being ‘If you’re going to throw your money at everything, you might as well spend it on something worthwhile’ aka ‘lets just have a nice dinner together instead of you buying some random girl three bouquets of roses’

they also have a pre-planned attack together (albeit quickly mentioned to titania) like cmon they bondin yall they conversin

finally i love how shinon’s taller than gatrie- like this isnt necessarily ship-related i just finally have the opportunity to say it. like shinon could absolutely tease gatrie about it like ‘what did you say you wanted a kiss? ? ? i cant hear you from down there’ and gatrie just playfully punches his arm like ‘bro- dude- cmon please i missed you all day just bend down for two seconds’

i’ve been typing for a while and ive got the attention span of a brick but these are the ships i think of the most. during my second playthrough ill be damned if i dont develop more but feel free to send in more ship shit

[interstellarcanid-deactivated]

to do for monday 06/11:

get a new script from gp for tramadol bc i ran out mojnths ago

bring him back the odd totem thing he gave me 

email form teacher about school shit

less important but FIX THE GODDAMN MATTRESSES BEFORE THEY FALL OFF THE BED COMPLETELY JFC

also probably ask gp to check bp because i know it’s super low but a guideline for HOW low would be helpful

talk to him further about eds shit re: the bullshit with the dx

open curtains & window in the morning before i go bc even though i can’t be in here w. them open i’ll be gone for the morning

wow a lot of this is appointment related which solves many problems and i am actually looking forward to seeing him because he is a literal angel and likes to actually chat-catchup and like genuinely cares abt me as a person and so it’ll be nice to talk to another human being that’s not gonna ri[p me to shreds

i just rememebred that one of the last times i saw him he told me i am “way too fucking respectful” and i am dying. also the whole thing he somehow GOT when he was like “oh you hate yourself as a defense mechanism” like for real how does my DOCTOR understand shit more than any mental health services have in my entire life

i think-- wait no i already thanked him for the bir-- DID I??? i dont remember if i thganked him in person for the birthday cake BECAUSE YES HE LITERALLY DID THAT andi am still so. oh??? oh anyway il;l thank him again jic

he’ll probably want to know how pain has been so @ self: DON’T LIE THANK U.

[xb3avisx]

SHE WAS (06/09/2020)

She was there for you when you needed her most...

She inspired you in the things you had lost interest in...

She made sure you had essentials when they were unavailable...

She cooks... she cleans...she works...

But yet you reject her... you chase something in your comfort zone...

Why?

Because we naturally seek the love we think we deserve...

How many more failed attempts do you plan to accrue before you realize what was right under your nose?

Love never wavers... love doesnt boast...

Love doesnt measure... it just gives...

But lets not forget... Nice folks finish last...

Listen to your heart... because lets face it... its never let you down before, right?

"I dont like my mind right now, stackin up problems that are so unnecessary"

So many dead ends and through streets on this path of life yet you keep choosing the ones filled with holes...

At full speed... how many times can you break yourself down with the choices you make ...

Before you decide to make your own road...

Put down that gravel down... level it out..

Build your own path to happiness...

Genuine people with pure intentions fueled by true love... doesnt come along often.

Remember that...

Remember that when your short term flings dissipate...

Remember that when you reflect...

Remember that when you're alone questioning whats wrong with you...

Remember that... there is nothing wrong with you...

Rememebr that you are blinded by affection...

Rememebr that desperation leads to lust attraction...

Remember me... when im no longer around..