#i go to work do my job all by myself and leave

[tgmsunmontue]

Online & Anonymous 8/16

Hangster. Explicit. Years before they meet in person Bradley and Jake strike up a friends-with-benefits relationship online. And then something more like an actual relationship.

Odd year = Bradley's POV and Even year = Jake's POV

>>Bradley chatting (bold and italics)

>>Jake chatting (italics)

2005/2006 2007 2008 2009 2010 2011 2012

2013 – Bradley

                When he gets the invitation to Top Gun he almost vibrates out of his seat in excitement. He keeps telling himself it’s excitement and not terror. He’s already going to be turning thirty this year, and while he might be a bit older than some of the other attendees he knows he’s unlikely to be the oldest. However he is older than his father was when he attended. He’s already older than his father was when he died and the idea that his father was married and had had a kid is mind boggling to him, because he doesn’t feel anywhere old enough to have either of those responsibilities, even if he’s coming around to the first one whenever he thinks about a potential future with Jas.

>>I got invited to a thing. An elite training thing. It’s sort of a big deal.

>>I’ll probably be busier than usual.

>>Like what?

>>Wait. Rangers? Delta Force? Pararescue?

>>Yeah. Something like that.

>>Fine. Keep your secrets.

>>You’re the one that said you want to keep some stuff for when we meet.

>>Can I change my mind?

>>Ask me again in 24 hours.

>>You’re pretty impulsive.

>>You like me being impulsive.

>>That’s true. I do.

>>Don’t want you to regret it though.

>>End of May isn’t that far away.

>>Assuming nothing happens again.

>>Yeah well. Fingers crossed.

>>Thinking about finally meeting you is the only gets me through some of my worst days.

>>No pressure.

                Bradley squeezes his lips between his teeth, wonders if he should apologize.

>>There is no pressure. I’m just… being honest with you.

>>I’ve had to lie about do much for so long, that even now it’s…

>>Well. I’ll never lie to you. Even if I think it’ll scare you.

>>This is where I get to be myself.

>>But you don’t need to worry about me not liking you.

>>I already love you.

>>Okay.

>>Well.

>>In the interests of being honest, do you want to know a secret?

>>Of course.

>>I’m scared of meeting you.

>>Why?

>>What if you’re not as perfect in person as you are through my phone?

>>Well, I’m not perfect.

>>At all.

>>Do you want me to share some of my gross habits with you?

>>I can do that if you think it would help.

>>Yeah. Go on.

>>Well, a recent one which drives my roommate absolutely batshit crazy, is I leave my moustache hair clippings all over the sink.

>>You have a moustache?

>>Yep. A new one. That long leave period I had last year when we were meant to meet up the second time? I started growing it.

>>Keeps my upper lip warm.

>>Do you look good?

>>I look like my dad.

>>Makes me feel closer to him.

>>I broke down and cried when I caught my reflection because I thought it was him.

>>I think mine is better, but I just wish he was here to joke with me about it.

>>Teach me how to take care of it.

>>All I’ve had are YouTube tutorials and it’s not quite the same.

>>If you’re watching online tutorials it definitely looks good.

>>Vain motherfucker.

                Bradley laughs but doesn’t bother disputing the fact, he likes to look good, and taking pride in his appearance is something that is necessary because it reflects on the Navy. He can’t say that specifically though.

>>What about you? Annoying habit?

>>I leave empty bottles and cups everywhere.

>>Not in the mess hall obviously, but everywhere else.

>>My friends despair of me.

>>I try and remember when I’m elsewhere, but I just keep forgetting.

>>Awful Southern manners.

…            …            …

                His seventeen-week stint at the Navy Fighter Weapons School begins and he doesn’t think he’s ever worked so hard in his life. He studies every waking moment, spends time with the ground crew asking questions about particular aspects of their jobs and their experiences, uses them to piece together a better understanding of the planes, although he’s already got an excellent understanding of most things, his obsession and upbringing in his youth meaning he’s knowledgeable about odd things, which sometimes get a raised eyebrow from one or two of the instructors. He does his best to ignore them.

                He and Jas have discovered SnapChat and started using that, not for conversations, just for staying connected and sending tiny little snippets of their day to each other, letting him know he’s thinking of him. Shots of morning coffee, books where he carefully covers the titles when it’s related to flying, the sky when it’s particularly pretty, his empty bed with the simple caption wish you were here.

                The seventeen weeks come to an end, he comes out on the top and he feels so much. He survived for a start, which is something he can admit now that he was worried about. God, he wants to ring Mav and Ice, and not just to brag, but to hear them be happy for him, although a part of him accepts he definitely wants to rub Pete’s face in it, that he is good enough. Of course it throws everything else into sharp relief and he wishes more than anything he could talk to his dad. He’s sitting in the lounge, just staring at the photos of previous Top Gun classes and 1986 is right there, an image that conjures so many mixed emotions.

                “Lieutenant Bradshaw. Thought you’d be out celebrating the win.”

                “Sir.”

                “Seriously. I’m surprised to see you here and not with the others.”

                “I will celebrate. Just. Having some mixed emotions sir,” he admits.

                “You don’t think you earnt the win?”

                Bradley blinks, because he’s not sure there’s a way to answer that question the right way, without sounding like he’s

                “I think it was an honor to be invited here and challenged by fellow aviators who are excellent in every respect. I worked hard and flew well. Just. Did you know my father died at Top Gun? During a hop?”

                “Bradshaw. I did wonder. Thought it was in bad taste to ask.”

                “No-one asked, but I suspect some are aware. No-one brought it up, sir.”

                “No, they’d probably take your lead on that. Well, I’ll leave you to it Lieutenant. Have a good evening.”

                “Thank you sir.”

…            …            …

>>How did you go?

>>Well, I didn’t wash out and I completed it.

>>That’s a pretty low bar.

>>Didn’t wash out? Pretty sure you smashed it.

>>I love your faith in me.

>>I love you.

>>Of course I have faith in you.

>>What I don’t have faith in is the universe and its apparent desire to fuck us over.

>>I’ve been invited to my own elite training thing.

>>Like, I can’t turn it down, it’s pretty much an order to go. And it’s an honor to be selected, but the timing could not be fucking worse.

>>I’m so sorry.

                Bradley is so disappointed he’s close to tears, but he also knows that when these type of opportunities are offered to you, you cannot turn them down. Ever. Not directly. Except he sort of just did, and his mind is

>>I understand. I totally understand.

>>Doesn’t stop me being disappointed though.

>>I was really looking forward to finally meeting you.

>>You and me both. Waited this long though right?

>>I am getting really sick of us having to say that.

>>I’m starting to get very sick of waiting.

>>I feel like we’ve waited long enough.

>>But I was offered something, I might see if I can backtrack my decline.

>>Shit. Did you turn something down because of me?

>>Well, I asked if I could think about it for a day or two. I was intending to turn them down, but I think I’ll accept it now.

>>Not if I don’t have meeting you in May to look forward to.

>>Nick. I don’t want you turning down things which could help your career just to meet with me.

>>I’m not going anywhere.

>>This goes both ways. I don’t want you turning things down either.

>>I’m sorry – did you just miss the bit where I said I can’t meet up because I’m taking up a training opportunity?

>>Yeah, but you thought about turning it down.

>>Next time don’t think about it, just accept.

>>I’ll always understand your desire to put your career first.

>>What about when I don’t want to anymore?

>>Also this applies to actual guys you sleep with and could have a relationship with.

>>Don’t you dare use me as an excuse to not pursue something if you think it’d be worth it.

>>Then the same applies for you.

>>Fine. Although the guys I’ve been sleeping with have yet to impress me with anything worth writing home about. Or well…

>>Sharing with you. My fantasies are definitely far more interesting.

>>Still think it’s your useless superpower, ability to hook-up with the worst possible guys and just have bad sex.

>>It’s okay. We’ll practice plenty in person when we meet.

…            …            …

                The offer to stay on as an instructor is there, and he’d said he’d think about it. However he really doesn’t want to stop flying, but he also doesn’t feel like he has the necessary skills to train other aviators yet, which is why he’s seriously considering staying to learn from the Top Gun instructors. When he raises his concerns about wanting to keep up his flying while also wanting to build up his experience with teaching and training to a set syllabus he gets a considered look for his troubles.

                “You’re not very much like your father or godfather are you Lieutenant.”

                “Excuse me sir?”

                “I know who you are Lieutenant. I flew with both your father, and Maverick. You remind my far more of Iceman. Cool and collected, little bit detached from emotion when you’re flying.”

                “Sir,” Bradley states, because he’s not sure if he’s asking a question or not. Whether it’s simply an observation or a compliment.

                “I’ll see what we can figure out.”

                The experienced tutors seem to take his interest in training with enthusiasm, recommending readings and setting homework. He learns that some of them have gone on to do Masters degrees in learning or development. He hadn’t expected quite a thorough background as he’s getting, but it’s good. He’s permitted to take flights early in the morning as long as he clears his flight plans with his commanding officer and also has at least three others awake and at least one willing to act as ground crew. He makes decent deals with several of the instructors, some who just prefer being on base that early to prepare for the day and doing it while he flies around is acceptable to them, especially when he agrees to try out any particular maneuvers and tactics in different planes. He loves it and it’s his routine for three weeks before the next Top Gun intake arrive. He shaves off his moustache and then regrets it almost immediately, but he can grow it back the next time he has a decent amount of leave to go unshaved.

…            …            …

                There are twelve naval aviators and Bradley has read all their files. He’s flown with a few of them before, one of them being Bambi and another Coyote. Then he knows Slipper, Knocks, Frank and Truffle. It leaves the other six as unknowns, although he does recognize the names. He has to admit it’s almost more intimidating than going through Top Gun himself, being expected to command the attention of other aviators for lessons, people known for challenging the status quo. The fact that he already knows half of them actually makes it worse, because he knows they won’t hold back. Not that he expects any of them to hold back, but he’s read their files and they’re all good and more than deserve to be here.

                It’s a little awkward, he’s not sure whether he is meant to be hanging out with the instructors, or whether he’s somehow part of this Top Gun class as well. So he finds a weird middle ground, friendly and professional with the instructors, happy to act for them, following their instructions and carrying out flight moves as an example or acting the part of bogey for tactical training. He is even more professional with the Top Gun class, slightly cooler but still friendly enough that he doesn’t think it pisses any of them off, although Bambi does roll her eyes at him more than once and Coyote gives him a quirked eyebrow.

                He and Jas continue to exchange snaps every day, although they both poke fun at the seemingly endless monotony of their current day-to-day lives. Bradley’s same mug of coffee everyday wishing him good morning, and it hasn’t escaped his notice that Jas seems to be in his time zone for the first time ever. Or at least for the first time since he really started paying attention and using Snapchat. They haven’t made any long-term plans to meet-up, not until next year and that’s too far away for Bradley to even know where in the world he’ll be let alone what weeks of the year he will have free which makes him feel a little more irritated than usual.

                “So, your score is the score I have to beat huh?” Jake Seresin says, and Bradley can’t help the immediate spike of annoyance at the words. He shouldn’t, because they’re Navy, competition between them all is something that is drilled into them from the beginning. More so for the USNA, but Bradley’s been around Naval Aviators his entire life and knows how they are, for the most part. Bunch of egotistical adrenaline junkies. Himself included, although he likes to try and temper his own ego by being as friendly and hopefully genuinely likeable as possible. Of course, being professional and maintaining some sense of distance can be difficult when he just wants to roll his eyes and tell the guy to grow up.

                “Just concentrate on your own flying and don’t worry about beating me.”

                They’re all good pilots. Of course they are. But Jake Seresin just seems to take the cast of egotistical and break the mold. He’s just so full of himself and the most annoying part of it is that it’s completely justified. He is that good, but he also gives off waves that he doesn’t feel like he has anything left to learn and Bradley knows he can’t be the only one feeling a little frustrated with his attitude sometimes. He asks the other instructors, in a round-about way, and he gets amused looks and told that he’ll learn to manage that with experience.

                Then there is how Seresin looks. He’s very nice to look at, Bradley isn’t going to lie to himself about it, and he wouldn’t kick him out of bed, however he’d have to like his personality enough first to invite him there, and that isn’t happening anytime soon. Definitely not while they’re at Top Gun, even if he thinks he could ask and get accepted, he doesn’t want to get a reputation for sleeping with students, that would be disastrous. It doesn’t stop him jerking off and thinking about Jake Seresin’s lips around his cock and he sends a couple of pictures to Jas during and after, telling him he misses him.

…            …            …

                Seventeen weeks feels like the blink of an eye and also, somehow, the longest drawn-out torture ever. He’s glad he has flying everyday, because somedays it’s the only thing that keeps him sane. Seresin seems to ask endless questions, some just bordering on disrespectful and he knows the other instructors find his frustration amusing, because he catches their poorly hidden smiles when he privately expresses his frustration to them, so he starts ignoring it as best he can.

                He doesn’t think he enjoys training and teaching enough to want to make this his career, not if every class is going to have people like Jake Seresin in it. He can’t bring himself to whine about it to Jas, not when he knows he’s so busy with his own specialty training, so he does the next best thing and rings Natasha, exchanging pleasantries before just launching into the complaining when she asks how the training aspects are going.

                “I just can’t seem to teach him anything! He just rubs me the wrong way.”

                “Well, you definitely want to be rubbing something…”

                “Jesus Natasha!”

                “What? It’s not going to get you kicked out or anything anymore…”

                “I’m not going to sleep with him!”

                “Would you? If that were an option? Is he hot?”

                “I don’t know. Have you met Jake Seresin?”

                “Oh. Definitely hot. He’s also Javy’s best friend.”

                “Javy huh?” Bradley asks, wanting to steer their conversation away from his inconvenient attraction to the most annoying person he’s ever met.

                “Shut up. At least I know what the guy I’m interested in looks like…”

                “Yeah yeah, whatever. I had noticed they were pretty tight.”

                “Yeah. Tight as brothers. Academy and flight school buddies. Hopefully Javy’s actual brothers are nicer.”

                “Well, they aren’t currently here driving me fucking insane, so that’s already a point in their favor.”

                “How is Javy doing?”

                “He’s good. Everyone here is good. You should be here.”

                “I’ll get my turn.”

                “Yeah you will.”

…            …            …

                “You know, the other instructors, they call you a rooster, because you get up so early so you can get up and fly before class.”

                Bradley grunts, because if he ignores him, maybe he’ll go away. He knows the other instructors call him that, and he doesn’t mind it, because there are far worse nicknames he could have landed himself with. This one has been an almost affectionate one, given to him with a ruffle to his hair and a wink.

                “I wanted to see if you’d be interested in getting a drink.”

                “With you?”

                “Yes.”

                “No, that wouldn’t be appropriate.”

                “We’re the same rank,” Seresin states, but Bradley is shaking his head.

                “I’m still an instructor.”

                Seresin’s lip curls, and it’s not in a nice way, but he’s stepping back, hands out in a no harm no foul gesture and Bradley hates that he looks good even when he’s looking pissed off.

                “Your loss.”

                “I think I’ll live.”

…            …            …

                When the seventeen weeks come to an end, he finally allows himself to socialize with Bambi, taking her out for dinner as an apology for being so formal and professional for the last four months. Allows, for a given definition of allow, for her to sweep the floor with him at both darts and pool. Then he takes her back to his place where they make a video call to Natasha and have a proper catch-up. Of course the first thing Natasha asks is if he’s slept with Seresin yet which has Bambi cackling and telling her all about the times Seresin seemed to be an ass solely to try and get Bradley’s attention.

…            …            …

>>You ever wonder what would happen if you did something different?

>>Only every fucking day.

[transfem-goddess-temple]

(@catgirlfloof)

I(trans girl with boobs and a dick) would love to present myself to you and all other worshipers to be stripped and bound on an alter to have my holes and body be freely used by anyone, I'd also like to be placed in a heat that makes me more and more desperate to be used as time passes, maybe being kept like that for long periods like throughout an entire day.

“Step forth.”

Your heart skips a beat. You were nervous, not because of what was about to happen, but because you didn’t want to screw up. It was your inauguration. You were to be accepted as a sacred slut. You walk up to the altar, the eyes of the congregation all on you.

You reach the altar and look into Goddess Elira’s eyes. She stares back, a devilish glint playing on her face as she takes your hands. “Worshipers one and all!” she calls out to the filled chapel. “We are here to welcome a fellow worshipper into her true role.”

You are yanked down, landing on that altar. Elira flips you over and around, laying you chest up with your head on one side of the altar and your legs hanging off the other side. “She is our newest slut, so make sure to break her in properly.” She looks down at you and gives a smile. She leans down and places her lips on yours. Her tongue pushes through the kiss and enters your mouth, sliding around and covering the area with her spit.

With every drop of saliva that spreads across your mouth, you feel your body get warmer. You knew that this would happen, that Elira’s spit would act as an aphrodisiac, but you didn’t think it would work so fast. You definitely didn’t think it would feel this good. She breaks away from your lips, a string of spit extending between your mouths. It thins and breaks, but you can still feel her heat.

With a slight movement of your arm, you realize you’ve been strapped down. Your important parts could move, like your hands and head, but your body was bound in rope and held tight on the altar. Even your breasts are tied up, pressed together with taught rope so that you can easily be titfucked. This was turning you on even more, speeding up the aphrodisiac’s effect and making your cock get rock hard in record time.

Elira turns to the congregation. “Now, show her unending pleasure. She is yours to use however you wish.” The congregation begins to stand, getting close and forming a loosely ordered line. They were all ready to fuck you. Elira smiles. “And don’t worry about knocking her out of heat. I gave her a special dose, so she won’t be able to cool down until her Goddess takes her fill.”

With those words, your Goddess turns and leaves. The bells began to chime. Eight times. It was still early in the day. You wondered how long it would be until you were blessed with divine seed in your womb. Just the thought was got you harder and made your hole wet. It was going to be a long day, but considering the hard cocks and wet it was going to be a good one.

The first of one to dominate you was a long haired girl. She straddled your cock and gave you a smirk. There was no speaking and no pregame of any sort, she just started using you. Her pussy slid down on you and started to ride. All you saw was her smirk before your head was grabbed and pulled back. Another girl stuffs her cock into your mouth and you moan with pleasure.

Your cock was under constant stimulation from a warm, tight pussy while your throat was pounded, and your body was ravaged with heat. You were already so close to cumming that you couldn’t help but thrust your hips. A cock appears in one of your hands, and a pussy in the other. You automatically went to work stroking each of your charges. You were a machine for sex. A toy. And good toys do their job.

You came hard in the woman on your cock, spilling into her while she laughs. You can hear a muffled “Aww, good girl,” through the sounds of of your throat getting bullied. The wet slaps and gurgles fill your ears almost as much as the taste fills your mouth.

You feel something pressing into your asshole. Not a cock, a tongue. Despite just cumming, the new sensation, and certainly the heat, kept the blood in your cock. The woman clamped down on your cock, cumming on you with a satisfied groan. Her tightened cunt wrings your dick to the edge, but she gets off of you before you finish.

However, before long, another worshiper is on top of you, slamming themself down on your cock. You cum again, filling the new hole with your seed. The cock in your hand starts to twitch at the same time as the one in your throat. You speed up your strokes, and get them to cum at the same time. As your tits get covered in warm cum, your throat gets coated in semen. You swallow it all down, and give the cock a kiss before it gets taken away.

Both are soon replaced by another set of parts, a pussy in your mouth and another cock in your hand. Another person gets onto your chest and starts fucking your tits, using the cum as lube. The tongue in your ass finally finds your prostate, pressing into it. The pussy in your hand starts to grind on you, clit twitching quick before filling your hand with warm juice.

It was only a moment before another cunt was using your hand to get off. It was never ending. So many people wanting to fuck. Needing to fuck. And, out of all people, they chose you to use as their toy. You couldn’t be more happy. You cum, they cum, they cum, you cum. It was endless pleasure, just like you wanted.

But the heat was not subsiding. You needed more. An hour passed, and you still needed more. Noon came and went, and you still needed more. The number of worshippers using you at once steadily declined, but you still needed more. Your eyes were twitching. You had cum more times than you can count. You had been filled and covered more than you thought possible. But you needed more.

You needed her. You needed your Goddess’s cum. You needed to be her slut, show her how good of a girl you were. Stay in heat as long as she desires and beg for her every moment of every day. You needed to worship her. It would take you to the absolute height of pleasure just to be touched by her. You need to please her. It was your duty.

And as the day turns into night and your heat rages on, you cry out in need to be fucked by your Goddess. How do you beg?

[dannnnnny666]

There is this DP hero au that has been floating my head for awhile that is pretty detached from DP but I find it cool so I am going to ramble about it to myself.

Basically, there is a school for heroes and while it is a very selective and secretive program, it host a camp during the summer for anyone who wants to be a hero, but you have to get recommendation from a hero.

Since Valerie’s dad works at Axion, he and Valarie the only two that are allowed to leave Amity (excluding when the Fentons go to visit Vlad). One of these work exertions, Valerie’s dad was helping out with some security and a villain attacked and tried to steal some tech. Some heroes quickly made their way to the lab only to find, Valerie had already dealt with the villain. Seeing her skill, the heroes gave her a recommendation to go to the summer camp and she had been going ever since.

Fast forward a few years, Valerie finds out Danny is Danny Phantom and joins the trio in fighting ghosts. However, as the summer is approaching, Valerie finds out that since she has been working with the heroes so much and has been considered very trust worthy, she is allowed to recommend one person to go to the summer camp.

Valerie takes this information to the group, who is surprised that heroes actually exist, and after a lot of thinking decided that it would probably be best if Danny went with her.

So when the summer finally arrives, Danny and Val head travel to the summer camp and meet all the other characters.

Here the show finally begins(my head has been formatting this world as a tv show, kinda like my hero or Owl house).

Instead of Danny being the protagonist, it is another person, a kid who was once saved by a hero and now wants to do the same. Danny will be the antagonist and the protagonists foil, a kid who didn’t get to choose being a hero and while both of them are on the same side, they have completely different ideologies regarding authority and government, the protag’s being that authority often times does want to help and if it doesn’t it’s your job to get involved and change it, come from their experience with heroes, and Danny’s being that authority doesn’t have your best interest in mind and you should just throw the whole thing out, coming from his experience with the GIW.

There is a good hand full of characters, kinda in the same vain as Assassination Classroom, and the ones I have made so far are the protag, a kid who specializes in demons and believes ghost exist but no one believes him, a teacher who is an ex-hero who retired after sustaining an injury that left him with a permanent limp, a teacher who is a veteran hero who had been in services for the same amount of time as ex-hero, an old nurse who's tired of kids hiding their injuries, and Valerie's and Danny roommates, Val's is a girl who currently questioning her sexuality and Danny's is a guy who can sleep through the loudest of explosions.

In the rest of the world, ghosts aren't thought to be real and don't really show up often. This is because there isn't enough ectoplasm to sustain them outside of Amity and the GIW have hidden any evidence of there existence. So Danny has to hide his powers from everyone except Valerie, which he does but he still give off a cryptic vibe and does and knows things that he probably shouldn't do or know. This has resulted in everyone thinking Danny has been possessed by a demon or became demonic due to the accident that happened to him.

I think I'll start writing the synopsis from some episodes later on but for know have the files on Danny (Danny design is insipired by @nicktoonsunite)

Here is Danny’s hero costume;

[general-fanfiction]

Hopes And Fears Part Three. (Wally Clark x Reader)

Summary: Y/N’s death is traumatic. So traumatic in fact, she can’t even look at Wally without reliving what happened to her.

Word Count: 2.4k

Gif Not Mine. Requests Are Open!

Warnings: Mature Language

I’ve grown fond of the early mornings whilst stuck at Split River. The first glimpse of the sun shining over the gardens, a warm hue welcoming the day. With no students roaming the halls, all I hear is the quiet sounds of nature. On the odd occasion, I’m even able to spot a rabbit or deer, grazing gently on the acres of freshly trimmed fields surrounding the school buildings.

It’s become a habit of mine, each morning I find myself lounging besides the flowerbeds. Allowing myself to feel each blade of grass that delicately brushes my skin. For a while, I forget that I’m no longer alive. I can simply exist.

It’s not uncommon for Wally to join me. Sprawled on his back, gazing up at the clouds. Pointing out different shapes and imagining different backstories for all of the cloud animals he sees. Besides that, neither of us speak much. Only enjoying one another’s company as we relax in the morning light.

Spending this time has given me the opportunity to process everything. Wally helps me to work through my emotions and thoughts. Nothing ever being too much for him to listen to, though I’m still afraid to divulge everything. I’m sure he can sense that I’m holding back, yet he doesn’t pry. Content to just listen. In all honestly, I truly believe that these moments with Wally have helped me more so than Mr Martin’s support group has. Despite attending every session since my memorial, I consistently leave the group feeling unfulfilled. Unsatisfied. In fact, it doesn’t seem as though the teacher wants us to discuss the past, our lives and our deaths. Only wanting us to focus on the present, the state we are confined to. I find myself struggling with this a lot.

“What do you think you would be doing if you hadn’t died?”

Pushing myself up on my elbows, I look over to Wally, who is resting on his stomach, absentmindedly plucking grass from the ground.

“I was supposed to go to college, play football. Hopefully make it pro, that’s what the plan was anyway.” He tells me, full of confidence yet his tone of voice suggests that’s not the pathway he would’ve chosen for himself.

“What about like outside of a job though?” I pry, the boy has my curiosity heightened. “Like, surely you have other things that you wanted to do?”

His eyes focus in on the pieces of grass that he’s now twisting together in a makeshift sort of chain. Deep in thought, I can see the cogs working in his brain as he tries to think of an answer for me. I’m sure it’s not something he’s necessarily thought of before, following the path that his mom set out for him upon birth.

“You’re gonna laugh, but I always wanted to get married and have a family. I know that times have changed and you lot don’t really believe in marriage and stuff that much anymore but I’m a family guy. Always have been.” He admits, finally looking at me and I see the honesty written across his face. “It just sucks that I’ll never actually get to experience it.”

My heart aches for him. One fatal accident and his entire future was stripped away. Never getting to experience the things he always dreamed of. It breaks heart, knowing what he could have had.

“Wally, I’m so sorry.”

“It’s no big deal, really, I’ve spent the last few decades accepting my fate and it’s not so bad here.” He tells me, a sadness shining in the brown of his eyes, trying his best to cover it up with a soft smile. “What about you? Other than taking over the world with your best friend, what was the plan?”

Giggling slightly as he references Abby’s speech, I start to wonder what my life would’ve looked like. Truthfully, I have no idea. My life revolved around dancing and cheer, other than that I have no clue as to who I am. Up until my death, I didn’t believe I was worthy of love, the one chance I took was with Spencer and look how that turned out.

“I suppose I wanted to leave Split River, Abby wanted to go to New York so I figured I would study there.” I reply, knowing New York was never my dream. I just couldn’t bare to part with her once high school ended. “It would be quite nice to live on a farm. Out in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by animals, I think that would’ve been my dream.”

“Now this makes sense.”

Crossing my legs underneath me to sit up properly, he’s unable to hide the bright smile on his face. Clearly finding some amusement in what I said.

“What makes sense?” I ask, to which he laughs quietly. Pulling a clump of grass out of the ground, I launch it in his direction. “Hey, you dickhead, I didn’t laugh at you, so you can’t laugh at me.”

“No, no. I’m not laughing at you.” Wally speaks through chuckles, rolling on to his back. “It just makes sense now why you like to sit out here.”

His arms are thrown across his face, shielding his eyes from the sun. I can’t help but stare as his muscles flex, admiring the sight in front of me. Following his body, I find myself biting the inside of my cheek as I notice his top has risen up his stomach ever so slightly. Highlighting the small trail of hair that dips below his shorts.

“Did you have a girlfriend?” I blurt out, before I even realise what I’m saying.

Slapping my hand across my mouth, embarrassment floods my body, eyes wide as Wally smiles. Eyebrows raised as he looks over to me. Sly smile making its way on to his face.

“No. No girlfriend. Why?”

“I was just wondering. I mean, star high school quarterback, you must have had girls queuing up for your attention.” I’m able to stop myself before I begin a long-winded rant. Helping to ease at least a tiny amount of my embarrassment.

Wally rolls his eyes at my comment. “Well in that case you must’ve had boys queuing up for your attention. What with being head cheerleader and all.”

“Ha ha. Okay, I know it was a stupid question.”

Fortunately for me, I’m saved from making a fool out of myself even more by the sounds of cars entering the parking lot. In unison, we both turn to face the sound. Observing the students that have started to filter into the building, chatting loudly amongst one another as they do so.

My vision locks in on Spencer and his gang of hooligans. They’re jumping all over one another without a care in the world as they make their way into the school. Trail of awestruck girls following behind in the hopes of garnering the smallest amount of attention from one of the jocks.

If only I was able to tell them what they’re really like. Perhaps they wouldn’t make the same mistake that I made. Perhaps I’d be able to save them from the same fate that I suffered.

“So I was thinking we could have a pool day. I think Charlie would be up for it, maybe not Rhonda, but it could be fun for us all just to chill out. You haven’t really spent much time with anyone else apart from in our sessions with Mr Martin.”

Wally’s words echo around my head though I’m not paying any attention. Despite, no longer being able to see the group that I was fixated on, I’m still closely watching the area that they had just previously been walking through.

Two weeks later and Spencer and his friends still evade justice. Police presence at the school has increased drastically with crime scene investigators cornering off the old toilet block. Maybe I’m impatient, but it feels like they’re getting away with it. Receiving no consequences for their heinous actions.

“Y/N, are you listening?”

Wally’s words finally drag me out of my thoughts and I meet his eyes. “Yeah, pool day, sounds good.”

“And we’re inviting Charlie and Rhonda.” He states, eyebrows raised as he knows I wasn’t truly paying attention to a word he said.

“Oh, no. They’re nice but can we just do it alone? I’m not sure I feel up to doing a whole group thing.”

Wally nods, though his eyes narrow. Sensing there’s something off with me. He’s good at noticing whenever my demeanour changes, or whenever something is bothering me. It’s part of his nature.

“Yeah of course. We should probably head to group first though.” The athlete pushes himself off the floor as he speaks, waiting for me to stand as well which I reluctantly do, not before releasing an annoyed groan. “You know, one of these days, you might actually enjoy the sessions.”

Rolling my eyes, I follow Wally towards the gym. He holds the doors open for me as we enter the building, his small act of chivalry makes me giddy. I make no effort to show this however, politely thanking the boy as I walk through.

“Ah here they are! Took you two long enough.” Charlie jokes as we enter the gym, taking our seats. I sit between Dawn and Rhonda with Wally seating himself between Charlie and Mr Martin.

“No guesses what they’ve been up to.” Rhonda comments, lollipop hanging out the side of her mouth as she does so.

“Thank you Rhonda.” Mr Martin chimes in, stopping the conversation from escalating any further. “So today, I figured we would get to know our newest member. Y/N you’ve been here for a couple of weeks now and we still don’t know too much about you.”

“I’m sure Wally could tell us all about her.” Rhonda remarks under her breath. So quiet, I almost don’t catch it.

“I’m sorry, is there something you want to say?” I snap, my tone harsh and confronting.

She laughs in response, the annoyance on my face evident as I glare at her. Her snarky and sarcastic nature hasn’t proven to be a problem for me, though I think that may be about to change.

“Y/N, tell us about your death. We’re all dying to know what happened. No pun intended.” The teacher interjects, attempting to diffuse the tense situation yet I still feel on edge.

“No thank you.”

“Oh come on Y/N, none of us are going to judge you. You know that.” Charlie tells me, offering me a reassuring smile.

“No, she’d rather just listen to all our trauma. Isn’t that right cherry pop?”

Rhonda’s words strike a chord within me. I’ll admit, the other ghosts have been very open about their deaths with me. All discussing in detail what happened to them to result in this fate. Sure, I haven’t divulged into the details of my death as of yet, but it’s for good reason. Not only am I still trying to process it myself but I don’t want them to look at me any differently nor do I want them to take pity on me when they learn the details.

“Do you have a problem with me or something Rhonda?” I ask, swinging around in my chair so that I can face her directly.

Upon doing so, I take note of how Charlie and Wally are quick to sit up straight. Feeling the anger radiating off me and awaiting any possible confrontation that may be about to occur.

“As a matter of fact, I do.” The girl retorts, crossing her arms over her chest before she continues speaking. “You waltz in here and make no effort with any of us besides Wally. Who, let’s not forget, you made to feel like a piece of shit on your first day after that unreasonable outburst. You listen to all of us recounting our deaths, the most traumatic things that could’ve happened to us and still none of us know what happened to you. It hardly seems fair.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry Rhonda. I’m sorry that i’m still processing what happened to me. I’m sorry that I’m not ready to discuss it with a group of strangers. I am so sorry that I’m not getting over everything as quick as you would like me to.”

My voice is raised as I speak, hurt that she would even think that my choice not to share what happened is a personal attack on the group. No matter how hurt I’m feeling, the anger completely outweighs it. Angry that she can’t see that I’m still struggling and angry that my murderers are still attending this school. Instead of being locked behind bars for the rest of their life, like they deserve to be. Nobody can understand what I am going through and that makes me so astonishingly angry.

“Boo hoo. You’re still processing, we’re all still processing. Not to mention the fact that we’ve barely seen Wally these past couple of weeks because he’s been trailing around after you, trying to make you feel less threatened by him. He’s even taken off that stupid football shirt that he loved so much! I hate to break it to you, but he was here first.” She argues, tears well in my eyes as she mentions Wally. I lock eyes with him and see his downcast expression. Was she right? Was he only spending this time with me to make me feel better and less scared? “You should do everybody a favour and fuck off back to the old toilet block where you came from.”

“Rhonda!” Charlie exclaims, clearly shocked by her words.

“Is that how you really feel Wally?” I ask hesitantly, the dejection evident in my voice.

He opens his mouth to speak, but no words come out. Nodding slightly, I understand completely. Pushing myself out of the chair, nobody speaks as I make my exit from the room.

“Lovely chat.” Rhonda shouts, one last attempt to get a reaction from me. Even as I shove open the doors with an obnoxious slam, I don’t look back.

The entirety of my body feels heavy as I drag myself down the hallways. Nobody comes after me, not even Wally. I feel truly alone, hurt and confused. Death was supposed to be peaceful and yet here I am. Suffering more than I ever did when alive.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

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[danniackermansblog]

Title: Unspoken Words, Part Two

Unspoken words part one

---

Days turned into weeks, and weeks into months. You tried to move on, but the emptiness left by Spencer Reid was a constant reminder of what you had lost. Nights were the hardest, when the silence of your apartment felt suffocating. Yet, amidst the heartache, there was a small, persistent hope that you couldn’t quite extinguish.

One evening, as you were curled up on the couch with a book, there was a knock on your door. You weren’t expecting anyone, so you approached it with a mix of curiosity and caution. When you opened the door, your heart skipped a beat.

Spencer stood there, looking as nervous and exhausted as the day you last saw him. His hair was longer, and there was a hint of stubble on his face, but his eyes were the same—full of emotion and intensity.

“Hi,” he said softly, his voice trembling slightly.

You could hardly believe he was standing in front of you. “Spencer…what are you doing here?”

He took a deep breath, his eyes never leaving yours. “I’ve been doing a lot of thinking. About us, about what I said. And I realized…I was wrong.”

Your heart raced as you took a step back, allowing him to enter. He closed the door behind him and turned to face you, his expression earnest.

“I thought I was protecting you by walking away,” he continued, his voice breaking slightly. “But all I did was hurt you. And hurt myself. The truth is, I can’t imagine my life without you. The danger, the chaos…none of it matters if I don’t have you to come home to.”

Tears welled up in your eyes, but this time they were tears of relief and joy. “Spencer, I’ve missed you so much. I never stopped loving you.”

He took a step closer, reaching out to gently cup your face in his hands. “I love you, too. More than anything. I want to make this work, no matter what. I want to be with you.”

You leaned into his touch, your heart soaring. “We’ll figure it out together. I don’t care about the danger. As long as we have each other, we can get through anything.”

Spencer pulled you into his arms, holding you tightly as if he was afraid to let go. “I promise, I’ll never walk away again.”

You buried your face in his chest, inhaling the familiar scent of his cologne mixed with the faint smell of coffee. “I’m so glad you’re back.”

He kissed the top of your head, his embrace warm and reassuring. “I’m home.”

That night, you both sat on the couch, talking for hours about everything and nothing. The weight of the past months slowly lifted, replaced by a newfound hope and determination. Spencer’s fingers intertwined with yours, his touch grounding you as you both made plans for a future together.

The days that followed were filled with laughter and love. Spencer made an effort to balance his demanding job with spending quality time with you. There were still challenges, of course, but you faced them together, stronger and more united than ever.

One evening, as you walked hand in hand through the park, Spencer stopped suddenly. He turned to you, his eyes filled with a tender warmth that made your heart flutter.

“I know it’s not always going to be easy,” he said, his voice steady and sincere. “But I promise, I’ll always be here for you. You’re my everything.”

You smiled, feeling a sense of peace and happiness that you hadn’t felt in a long time. “And you’re mine, Spencer.”

With that, he leaned in and kissed you, sealing the promise of a new beginning. The past was behind you, and the future was bright, filled with endless possibilities. Together, you knew you could face anything.

---

Spencer Reid was no longer just a painful memory. He was your partner, your love, and your forever.

[soldier-poet-king]

ofc the one day im wfh because i have a medical specialist appt i get back from the hospital to check my work email and see that one of the FEW ppl who actually talks to me at work is “no longer with [organization]” and im just??? OUT OF THE BLUE????? she wasnt contract like me???? had been at [organization] for about the same time as me and i thought shit was going well??? 

and my boss probably isnt in tmrw so theres no one to tell me what’s going on bc no one cares about the stupid child archives assistant in the basement

[melit0n]

.

[steviescrystals]

i seriously need to get a new job and start making money again asap bc i cannot keep living at home much longer it’s driving me insane

(wrote an entire essay in the tags without meaning to oops)

[pollen]

hii it's been awhile since i've given any updates about what's going on with me but!!! i think we're moving back to oregon at some point. and i'm gonna make grad school happen. i'm so yhappy

[linguenuvolose]

I applied for a new job today 😩

[astrogenica]

people claim to understand that progress isn't linear and recovery can take a long time until it becomes personally inconvenient to them and then you're just a stupid lazy bastard to them no matter how you behaved before you became outwardly sick or how hard you've been trying to get better. and i will be mad about that forever

[august--and-everything-after]

I can't prove it, but I'm certain I was picked for the layoff because this one time at a department meeting I asked the director some clarifying questions about what she was telling us to do and she made a complete ass of herself by immediately getting heated and raising her voice and trying her best to shut me down (didn't work, asked her more questions, made her even angrier).

It wasn't my intention to piss her off - all my coworkers attested after that I was polite and professional and reasonable in all my questions. Too bad for me she has a fragile ego and a Napoleon complex and a complete inability to engage professionally with anything less than unquestioning compliance.

On the upside, now the whole department knows how she's like, and they thought it was funny to boot. Not my fault she's a lil pissbaby, you'd think someone in her position would have a thicker skin by now.

[creepy-scrawl]

Not even having a barely low wage, and not having social live hurts me as much as the way my boss treats me as stupid over and over again. And it fucking hurts even more that my boss is my dad...

[skunkg1rll]

🦨

[insomniacs-keyboard]

Word of advice: never become a manager

[fingertipsmp3]

Also I can’t figure out if my life genuinely does suck or I’m just having an existential crisis because my period starts in approximately 48 hours