#i guess it's that one correct me pls haha

[qxldnya]

Enemies to lovers

Part 1 part 2 part 3

Jude Bellingham x baller!reader

Taglist now open

Wc: 2k

Warning: past flashback, swearing

⚠️ A/n: PLS STOP SPAMMING ME! I beg man 😭 i will post parts as soon as i can and people spamming me everywhere only puts me off this. If you wanna be apart of the taglist comment down below<3 THANK YOU FOR 900 FOLLOWERS <3

"A favor?"

You repeat, the words feeling thick and heavy on your tongue. A part of you suspects that he's about to pull a fast one and make some belittling joke at your expense.

Or he's going to ask you to do something completely impossible for him, just so he can prove his point that, haha, you fucked up!

Because there's really no conceivable reason that he would-

"You need me to act as your boyfriend for the wedding thing. Fine. But I need you to..."

He trails off, and you stare in awe as a light pink hue dusts his cheeks. Is Jude... blushing? You'd seen him blush out of rage before, many times actually, but never... shyness? Is that what this even is?

"...It'll be easier if I just explain it first."

Nodding, you feel like you're stuck in some kind of trance as he sits down on top of the desk next to yours. He sighs again, and then those blood-red eyes are focused on you.

"My parents are... fuckin' nutcases. I don't know if you've heard much about them, but they're kinda well- respected in England. Not like your aunt, just pretty influential in politics n' shit."

You openly stare at him, head tilted.

"I, uh, don't follow."

A glare. "So let me fucking finish then, eh?"

Bristling, you bite your tongue and grit out a strained apology. He just rolls his eyes in response and continues on.

"Anyways, my mom's been creepily invested in like, making sure I have a girlfriend so I can 'continue the family lineage.' I'm still 19 so it doesn't make much sense, but it's just for her to show it off I guess."

He makes air quotes with his fingers as he speaks, and you almost want to laugh a bit because the idea of Jude having a wife and kids is just... unrealistic. He looks away, eyes hardening as his tone shifts into something more somber. "So then I had a girlfriend, but we uh, broke up a few months ago."

Hold the fucking phone. Jude had a girlfriend? Like, as in living breathing girl? Who was interested in actually dating him?

Your attempt to conceal the look of shock clearly written across on your face utterly fails, because Jude instantly notices before you can even try to correct yourself. The look he gives you makes your spine go rigid.

"The fuck you looking like that for?"

"Nothing," you say a bit too quickly. "so then what about the rest of the favor?" He scowls for a few moments longer, as if he's wondering if he really wants to pursue an argument right now, then thankfully drops the issue altogether and continues talking. You let out a breath you weren't even aware you'd been holding, feeling slightly victorious at the fact that for once you've managed to avoid a giant mess. It's a nice change of pace.

"As I was saying, we broke up, but my mom doesn't know that. Hell, she didn't even meet my girlfriend to begin with. Was just happy to know I had one, and then bragged about it to all her friends or whatever."

Your fingers begin to drum wildly against your desk. You've got a feeling you know where this is going, and it does not appeal to you.

"But you're single now, so she doesn't know?"

"Yeah. Which is where you come in."

Yep. Laughing nervously, you stand from your seat and grab your bag, slinging it over your shoulder.

"Yeah, look... I know I fucked up with the whole phone call thing, and I'm sorry about that, but I am NOT going to be your pretend girlfriend for god knows how long just because your mom-"

He makes a face, appearing as if you've just gravely offended him.

"What? Why the fuck would I ever want that? Idiot, it's only going to be for one night, not a year."

A short laugh escapes his lips, curt and blunt. “You think I'd enjoy having you of all people as my girlfriend?"

You wince, because ouch, but at the same time, you'd probably reply with the exact same thing had he been the one to insinuate that. So it's fair, you suppose. "Only one night?" Is your hesitant response. "My mom's got a stupid party with her fellow political snobs coming up in a week," he grumbles, leg swinging impatiently.

"I just need you to pose as my girlfriend for the party. That's all."

Mulling over your options, you bite your lip and give him a skeptical glance.

"So that's it? And then you'll- you'll do the wedding thing with me?"

Jude nods. You then start to feel slightly bad, because here he is only requiring you to act as his significant other for one night, whereas you'll be having him act for a week... "Are you sure it's a fair exchange?" You mumble, nervously picking at the seams of your shorts. Rolling his eyes for the billionth time, he hops off of the desk and snorts.

"I get out of having my mom scream at me and get a free vacation to fucking Malibu?"

"The Bahamas," you correct him.

Another eye roll. You silently hope that they stay stuck in the back of his head someday.

"Whatever, same difference. So yeah, it's a pretty fair exchange.

I mean, we just fake "break up" after the wedding or whatever." He hums to himself a bit, before grimacing slightly. His next words are nothing more but a mumble, and you strain to hear them.

"But, if anything, we're both kinda getting fucked over here." You narrow your eyes suspiciously. "Hey, hold on, I never explicitly agreed to all of this. What do you mean by that?"

A sort of realization dawns on him. He slowly faces you before flashing a sarcastic grin in response, his sharp canines now visible at the corners of his mouth.

"Come on, you didn't think this was gonna be as easy as just saying we're dating and expecting people to believe it, did you?"

Heat rises to your cheeks. "I- I don't follow." "It means," he says, taking a few slow steps towards you. "that you and I are gonna have to actually play the part. I mean if we're both all stiff-shouldered and awkward, ya think your aunt is really be convinced that we're actually dating?"

"I mean, it- it doesn't matter too much, right?"

God, you hope your face isn't as red as it feels. And then Jude is directly in front of you, both of his hands squarely planted on the desk as he looms over you. You're now certain that it is as red as it feels. It's unclear to you if you're more flustered over the blatant invasion of your personal space, or... no, you're not finishing that thought.

"Here's the thing, 'babe,' " he growls, his voice strained. "you can try and convince your aunt about whatever the fuck you want. I'm definitely not complaining if I don't have to bring the whole romance shtick along on the trip. That would be ideal, actually, cause there's no way I'm trying to shack up with you."

His face is now only inches from yours, hot breath slightly fanning across your cheeks. You think your heart has leapt straight into your throat. Since when has it been this hard to breathe?

"But with my family, you're not getting away with any of that half-assed crap. So whether you like it or not - and I can assure you that I for one don't -we're gonna have to get used to acting like a real couple. Otherwise, this isn't gonna work. Understand?"

You physically cannot move, only offering a blank stare in response. He smirks in a patronizing sort of way, seemingly mistaking your bewildered reaction for one of fear. As if he expected you to react this way all along.

"Unless, of course, princess prude here can't do that. So make your choice."

Hold on, is he trying to scare you off?

Oh, he definitely is.

He takes your momentary silence as an answer and chuckles.

"That's what I thought."

You've been described as a lot of things that you can agree with. Easily flustered, hard-headed, passionate... the list goes on. You've also been described as incredibly stubborn. Petty, too. And those statements are just as factual.

"Well, if you change your mind, I'll probably have until tomorrow before I go looking for a stand-in" Jude shrugs, finally backing up from your desk and turning toward the door.

"but otherwise, if you can't do it, we're probably done here-"

All things considered, you're guessing that he probably didn't expect you to stand from your seat and grab him roughly by the back of his shirt. He lets out a startled noise as you yank him towards you, forcing him to face you as your fist bunches in his collar. Pulling him down to meet you eye-to-eye, your response is forced from your lips with a ferocity that surprises even you.

"Try me." You regret the words the momont they leave your mouth. But you're too busy relishing in Jude startled expression to really care. He stares at you for a few moments longer, seemingly dumbfounded, before abruptly prying your hand off of him with a look of disdain. He smoothes out his shirt with a smile.

"Damn, didn't know princess prude had some balls on her."

Trying to maintain your false facade of confidence, you cross your arms stubbornly.

"The joke's only funny once. Don't call me that." And for a moment you swear he smirks, a smirk that's not full of hatred or sarcasm for once, but it's quickly replaced with his normal resting bitch face that you've seen so frequently over the course of the past semester. "Alright," he grumbles.

"Let me give you my number so we can plan shit out." You hand him your phone, and he quickly punches in his contact before carelessly tossing it back to you. It almost slips from your grasp, and you glare daggers at him as you fumble to recover it.

"Watch it, asshole." He just sniggers.

"Yeah, whatever. Anyways I'm blasting this dump. Later, princess prude." "I said, don't fucking call me that!"

You shout after him as he exits the room, fists trembling with anger.

"Whatever the princess commands."

"You're not funny!"

"Don't care." It's the last thing you hear before he disappears out of the room and down the hallway, leaving you to stand in place, furious, and process what exactly you just agreed to. Jude is your fake boyfriend. What the fuck?

It feels taboo to even think about. An even scarier realization that hits you with the speed of a freight train is that to everyone else, Jude is now your real boyfriend.

Crouching down, you wrap your arms around your knees and resist the urge to scream. By the time you make it through the rest of your classes and back to your apartment, you think you're about to drop dead on your feet. You'd been too focused on what had happened back in the empty room with Jude to really pay attention to any of your lectures, instead debating whether or not you should just call the whole thing off and stick to trying to pay your aunt back, or roll with it and move onto the next set of problems that would arise from sticking with it. Is he still going to tell people you two aren't actually dating? Are you still going to be outed as a liar?

God, you hope not. Hell, you'd even written out a whole pros and cons list during your last class, which you were now reviewing from the privacy and comfort of your bed.

PROS: No Tom (Jude is somehow more bearable, cause at least he's not a creep) Aunt + Mom are happy (no guilt-tripping) Don't have to pay aunt Sylvie back VACATION TO BAHAMAS??? Maybe won't be outed for "lying" (did I lie tho) Not permanent I'm technically doing something nice for someone else at

I'm technically doing something nice for someone else at the same time :))))

(kind of, fuck you Jude)

CONS: He's not Tom but he's also still Jude and that means that I have to deal with the asshole for basically a month

Family is gonna ask questions Prep stuff for the fake dating I guess Oh god do I have to kiss him??

Might still have to deal with the Rice thing and being called a liar Have to deal with HIS family asking questions And... that's about it.

At first glance, you try to convince yourself that both sides are semi-even, but... the cons are mostly superficial or just plain uncertain, now that you look at them. And the pros are stupidly strong and... shit.... The only big thing you'll be sacrificing is your dignity. And your time and patience. No, no. That's still worth something right? Maybe not. Are you seriously about to go along with this? And as if on cue, your phone buzzes with a text from Jude.

From: Jude

6:17 PM

Hey, I told Rice the rumors are true. Might be easier for you and I to keep our story straight. We can just tell him we broke up

You stare quizzically at the message for a few moments, sort of in awe. He still sounds as harsh as ever but this is... oddly considerate of him.

Did someone steal his phone or something?

From: Jude

6:19 PM

Your name in my phone is Princess Prude, just thought you should know.

Never mind.

Definitely the same guy.

From: You

6:20 PM

Why

From: Jude

6:20 PM

Cause it pisses you off

From: you

6:21 PM

was about to thank you for what I thought was a really nice gesture but now all I have to say is fuck you

You make a new contact name for him and send a screenshot.

From: Judyhoe

6:22 PM

The fuck? "Judyhoe?" You've got some meedy insults yk. And the feeling is mutual btw

He sends a middle finger emoji with nothing else, and you suppose that's the end of the conversation.

But despite all the insults, his infuriating personality, and the shit you're probably going to have to put up with...

At least he's not Tom

-

Naturally, Mason had been the first in your admittedly small social circle to know the truth; he was probably your closest friend on camp at this point. And considering the fact that you had kind of ghosted her since the end of training, you supposed it was only right to fill him in on what was going on.

That, and you weren't sure if you'd remain mentally stable enough if you'd kept all of this a secret.

"Are you shitting me?" Was the first thing he'd said when you'd finally picked up her calls. The whole ordeal had been explained over text - a tedious process, looking back.

But you'd just been too embarrassed to recount everything out loud.

"No," you mumble, rolling over in your bed so you can stare at the ceiling. "I swear I'm not."

You hear him inhale sharply, before he starts laughing like a maniac. Reddening, you clench your fists as you sit up in bed, shouting words of indignation into the speaker as he continues to cackle at your expense.

"You and Jude-" he seems to be almost laughing through tears.

"You guys are faking... This can't be real. You guys are like Arsenal and spurs!" Grumbling, you slouch.

"I know, and yes, it is real."

"Are- are you two sharing a fucking BED on your vacation?" He howls, trying to catch his breath, and you try your damndest not to hang up right then and there as your face goes aflame at his suggestion.

"No!" Comes your high-pitched squeal.

"Me? Share a bed with that asshole? He would probably suffocate me in my sleep!"

"I dunno, maybe it's the perfect time to figure out if one of you has a degrading kink-" Grinding your teeth, you glare down at your phone.

"If you don't shut up, I'm going to end the call." he half-heartedly apologizes as his laughter dissolves into giggles.

You just sigh, one hand rubbing at your temples. This is going to be a painfully long month.

"So..." he starts. "how do you honestly feel about it?" his tone is genuinely curious this time.

Humming, you search for an answer. "I don't know," is your honest reply. "I'm relieved, because it kinda solved three problems all at once but... I'm also really dreading the whole thing. I'm scared something's gonna get fucked up along the way."

A short laugh. "Fair enough. I'll be surprised if you two don't kill each other before the whole party thing." You silently agree.

"So like, to convince his parents, is he gonna have to practice kissing you or something?"

The sound that leaves your mouth is nothing short of a squeak. Oh, you can practically hear him grinning over the phone.

"Oh? Looks like someone isn't prepared. What if he pulls you onto his lap, huh? Wraps his arms around your waist..."

"That's not- Shut up!" is your garbled reply, throat constricting at the thought. "If I didn't know any better, you sound flustered~" he purrs.

No, you protest very firmly. You aren't flustered. You're just grossed out. The thought is appalling to you. One hundred percent. He can tell that you're lying. And shit, why the fuck is it making you flustered? He's a fucking dickhead. And you genuinely do hate him. But he's a hot dickhead, a voice in the back of your head whispers, and you try to beat it over the head with an imaginary baseball bat. Ok. Fine. He's attractive. You'll admit it. And you hate it, because otherwise, you wouldn't be nearly as flushed thinking about all of this.

And why do all the assholes get to be attractive??

You don't realize you've said all of this aloud to Mason until he bursts out laughing again, much to your embarrassment, and then you have to spend a whole five minutes shutting him up. He's not going to let you live this down. Not for a long while. The two of you continue to talk about the logistics of the arrangement for about an hour longer - you pointedly ignore a few of the sly jokes he slips in here and there - before he has to leave for his family dinner

And when the call finally ends, you can't help but feel a tiny bit relieved that this isn't a secret you need to carry alone anymore.

Your phone buzzes with a text.

From: money mase

8:49 PM Just always remember the importance of condoms and good ol birth control

You should've just kept your mouth shut. From: You

8:50 PM I have no idea why you're so convinced that we're going to do anything. This is literally a contract out of convenience.

From: money mase

8:51 PM That's what they all say, mate

From: You

8:52 PM The day I fuck Jude is the day you finally confess to Declan

He doesn't respond to that one. The rest of the night passes without much of a hitch. You do get a few curious messages on your social media asking about Jude, but you elect to ignore them for now, favoring the sweet embrace of sleep.

And when you finally manage to drift off to sleep after what feels like ages of constant tossing and turning, your dreams are filled with brown eyes that burn through your body over and over, until nothing of you remains but charred ash.

From: Judyhoe

8:15 AM Meet me today at my apartment after lunch so we can plan shit out for the party. I've only got one massage class, so I'll be here all day. And don't keep me waiting

Waking up to a text from Jude feels like whiplash. (a/n referenced the best movie to exist;)

And waking up to a text from Jude demanding you to come to his apartment, of all places, more so. And what does he mean by "plan shit out?" You mull over whether or not you should fake sick and bail, gingerly sipping at your coffee. But then comes the reminder that all of this technically counts as an obligation now, thanks to your poor critical thinking skills that are permanently coupled with your big fat mouth

You told him to send his adress. He does, and you can't help but gawk when you recognize the location because holy shit, it's in a really nice area in London. You always seemed to forget that some on the team lives by themselves rather than on camp like you. Simply out of convenience. Your cat rubs against your ankles with a purr, and you pick her up, scratching behind her ears as you silently pray that today won't be a complete disaster on your end.

Unfortunately, things are already looking glum. The stares are even more prominent today. Probably a result of Jude's confirmation with Declan about it all. You even overhear a huddled group of girls whispering as you pass, shooting you a few glares. You try your best to ignore it all, but by the time you slide into your seat at lunch, you want to do nothing but hide.

It'll pass, you think to yourself, desperate for consolation. He's basically a high class celebrity, so of course it's a hot topic. But it'll pass soon. Old news. Despite your anxiety about, well, everything, everything pass by far too quickly.

It's 4 PM before you even realize it. Wait, why are you so worked up over this? It's just a stupid meeting. Nothing weird is going to happen. It's just a result of everything Mason said last night. And even if you have to practice being... being a couple, it's not like he's going to do anything

Right? You should bail. But as you pull up his messages and start typing out an excuse to remain hiding at home with your cat, you can practically envision Jude calling you "princess prude" again, and it's all the conviction you need to erase the stupid message, grab your bag, and stride as you confidently head for his apartment.

The confidence lasts for a whole twenty minutes, until you reach the lobby of the apartment building. You're not sure if it can even be classified as a lobby, it looks more like a resort. There's even a bar to the right.

You instantly feel out of place, suddenly hyper-aware of your admittedly plain looking clothing in contrast to the other walking around in designer brands. Not because you couldn't afford them but because it wouldn't fit you.

Shit, maybe you should've worn something your aunt gifted you... You catch a few people giving you sideways glances, some hostile, others curious. Probably recognizing who you were. Pulling out your phone, you retreat to a corner and quickly send a text to Jude.

From: You

4:25 PM I'm here please come down idk how this place works and the posh people are staring at me

From: Judyhoe

4:25 PM are you serious

You wait for a few more minutes, idly shuffling your feet as you try your best to stay out of everyone's direct line of sight.

Not just because you definitely look out of place, but also because the people living here probably know Jude. Which means they also probably know about Jude.

Which means they also probably know about you. And there seems to be very mixed reception to that. And then you spot him coming into the lobby, adorning a plain black tank top and matching black sweats. And for a second, you want to laugh, because he looks just as out of place as you do.

But he very obviously isn't, judging from the way that everyone greets him as he passes.

He offers nothing more than a nod of acknowledgement in response, even to the two glammed up girls that try to rest their hands on his arms in an attempt to stop him long enough for a brief conversation.

He just shrugs them off and keeps walking, narrowed eyes scanning the room in search of you. Stepping out of your little hiding place, you try to nonchalantly raise a hand to catch his attention, hoping that no one takes much notice of you.

Jude spots you, and his eyes narrow even more as he storms over to where you awkwardly stand.

"Why didn't you just come up?" He hisses, stopping right in front of you. People are staring. "I- What do you mean?" His voice drops an octave, and hushes to nearly a whisper. "Do you know how this looks? How much attention we're drawing to ourselves?

"Shit, I told Mason to tell everyone it was true, but I didn't want it to be a fucking spectacle."

Trying to keep your expression neutral, you respond through gritted teeth.

"I'm sorry that I don't know how to navigate your huge apartment lobby. There's so many stupid hallways and rooms down here, why does it all look so fucking fancy and expensive?"

"What?you're literally a fotballer you are loaded."

"Yeah, but not posh loaded, everything is in the bank you i do not show it off dickhead," you huff indignantly, eyes darting around nervously. Jude looks like he wants to say more, but it quickly comes to his attention that the two of you are on the verge of causing a scene.

There's quite a few people watching the two of you, some more obviously than others. The two girls that tried to hit on him are muttering something to themselves and "subtly" pointing at you, something the both of you are quick to notice.

You can't help but shrink in on yourself, feeling exposed and more than a bit humiliated. Why the fuck couldn't he just act normal and wait until you were in private to tell you this? Jude's eyes flicker from them, then back to you. Then, with a scowl, he grabs your hand - not your wrist this time and pulls you along behind him to the other end of the lobby where he first appeared from. You can't fight the blush that works its way onto your cheeks as his calloused palm envelops your own. Since when is hand-holding this embarrassing? You feel as if you're committing an act of public indecency.

Thankfully, your previous anger helps to combat the unwelcome feelings, and you silently fume as he pulls you into one of the several elevators lined up along either side of the hallway. Punching the button to one of the highest floors, he finally lets go of your hand, and you can't help but sigh out of relief.

There's an awkward moment of silence as the elevator begins to rise. You stare at the excessive amount of decor. It's a fucking elevator, why does it need a mini- chandelier?

"I... thought you'd come earlier." Jude breaks the silence first. "London traffic ," you muttered. More silence. The silence lasts for the rest of the elevator ride. The doors ding open with a merry chime. and Jude steps doors ding open with a merry chime, and Jude steps out, hesitating briefly to ensure that you're following before striding down the hallway.

You trail behind, marveling at how your shoes slightly sink into the plush carpeting. The whole place is impressive to look at, actually, and you get lost in the painted gold embellishments on the light blue wallpaper.

So lost, in fact, that you don't notice when Jude abruptly stops in front of a door, turning to face you. You look back just in time to face plant into his chest.

Letting out a startled yelp, you quickly jerk back and lose your balance, falling straight onto your ass. He just stares down at you, dumbfounded, as you rub at your nose with a wince. Why the fuck is his chest rock solid? You think to yourself, groaning.

"Look where you're fucking walking," Jude mutters with a glare, extending a hand for you to take. Prick. You bat it away, stubbornly standing on your own with only a tiny bit of struggle. He just rolls his eyes and turns to unlock the door, cursing as he fumbles with the key. It jingles a few times, and then the tell tale click of the lock gives way. When the door is open, you can't help but eagerly follow him inside, admittedly curious to see what a rich boy's apartment looks like. Does he have a master bathroom? TV's everywhere? Maybe some gold bars lying around? It's just a whole lot of nothing, much to your disappointment. He throws his keys on the kitchen counter as you take in your surroundings with a raised eyebrow.

The whole place is... minimalist, to say the least. Save for a few dumbbells lying around, a couch in the living area, and a clean and tidy kitchen, the rest of the space is bare. There's obviously appliances and a large flatscreen TV, but you'd really expected... more. Maybe some gold curtains, a regal throne even. Jude walks over to the living room and throws himself on the couch.

"Is your nose ok?" He asks, kicking his feet up on the ottoman in front of him with his arms folded behind his head.

You're not sure if it's the sudden privacy, the recent memory of colliding face first with his chest, or the fact that his pose just really... accentuates everything, but it's then that you really realize just how tight his tank top is, how clearly it defines every dip and curve of his muscles underneath and... no wonder you busted your nose.

Shut the fuck up shut the fuck up shut the fuck up

Forcing a nod, you swallow thickly.

"Uh- yeah." He grunts in response, then finally hunches over to rest his elbows on his knees - much to your relief - before sending an apathetic glance your way.

"So."

"So," you mimic uncertainly, finally taking a seat as far away from him as possible.

"The party is in six days," he says.

"And let me tell you, there's gonna be a lot more to it than just acting like you're obsessed with me and... vice versa or whatever. You're gonna be around more..."

He trails off, scrunching his eyebrows. "How did you put it? "posh" people, innit. So yeah, you're gonna need to learn how to act proper and, y'know, when to finally shut the fuck up."

He says that last sentence with a smirk, and you glower at him from your position on the couch.

"Are you serious? 'Act proper?' What, you think I'm some kind of barbarian?"

A wolfish grin stretches across his face. "You? A barbarian? Nah, you're too ditzy to be a barbarian."

Ditzy. Your father's eyes darken as he leers down at you, teeth grit together. You try not to cry, ignoring the way your eyes water as the broken plate trembles from within your grasp. "Fucking brain-dead," he slurs, breath reeking of alcohol. "That's what you are. You gonna grow up to be as ditzy as your mother? Huh?"

"Don't say that." You can feel anger rising, reddening your cheeks, but you do your best to remain calm. He shrugs, your serious tone going unnoticed.

"Ditzy. There, I said it. I mean, you probably don't know shit about the customs, so-"

You stand, still trying to maintain your composure but everything feels a bit fuzzy now.

"I said, don't call me that." And the fucker just laughs, glaring at you like he's challenging you.

"Why shouldn't I?"

"Because. I don't give a shit about the other nicknames, but that is something I don't want you calling me." Jude glowers at you for a few moments, before relenting with an eye roll.

"Fine. Jesus." And then he's blabbing off stuff about fancy customs, and you're finally starting to calm down, trying to tune in on what he's saying.

"My dad's kinda seen as the authority of the household, even though that's really my mom, but if you see him, you need to address him with respect."

You couldn't help but giggle a bit.

"Is that funny to you?"Jude's voice cuts through your thoughts, and when you turn to look at through your thoughts, and when you turn to look at him, he seems pretty pissed.

You just shrug, not really sure what to say. And Judd does not like that. "Hey, you might think all of this is a joke and that's fine, but my dad's cool. So just be respectful, asshole."

"I never said I wasn't going to be!"

"Then don't laugh when I tell you to be respectful!" You don't have a response to that, you'll admit. "Bitch," he mutters under his breath.

"Dick wad," you respond just as quietly.

"The fuck did you say?"

"Nothing, you stuck-up asshole." And the tension's back, thick in the air and hanging onto every spoken word. You stare each other down for what feels like an eternity, before you finally fold. This is all so exhausting.

"Ok, we can't do this anymore." He wrinkles his nose. "What?"

"This!" You gesture to him and then yourself. "We keep going for each other's throats and it's like, how are we supposed to pretend to be in love, when everything feels like a constant fight?"

"Not my fault."

"It's both of our faults!"

"You basically insulted my father," he growls. "You got pissy when I told you not to call me 'ditzy!' It was a simple request!" Jude groans, flopping back onto the couch to pinch his brow.

"Fine. What are you suggesting?"

Folding your hands together, you give him a stern look. "A truce."

He raises an eyebrow. "Which means...? Cause let's get one thing straight. I refuse to act like your little buddy buddy. We aren't friends." Sighing, you rub at your eyes.

"Ouch. That's not what I was aiming for, but thanks for the confirmation."

He just grunts, crossing his arms like a petulant child. "Ok, so then what?"

"No more fighting. No more trying to rile each other up every second of the damn day. That's what it means."

You stick out your hand.

"Just until the vacation is over. Alright? I'm not asking you to be friends." Jude looks at your outstretched hand suspiciously.

"So you're gonna actually listen to what I have to say about the party? The shit you're gonna have to learn?" You nod. "And you're gonna need to listen when I tell you not to call me something."

He thinks on it for only a second longer before grabbing your hand to shake it.

"Fine." And when the both of you let go, you almost want to celebrate because, score! Your fake-boyfriend maybe doesn't totally hate your guts anymore. Jude just scoffs, reaching into his pocket to fish out his phone.

Taglist: @valerysimps @like3dbypierregasly @enjoymyloves @capriaura @neymarssideboo @mad-die45

[coquettluvr]

ajax : heaven and back

"y/n, come to my party tomorrow evening 8 pm, please cutie?"

- ajax

"im busy tomorrow ajax...."

i lied

i lied because, ajax had a crush on me. but i never really felt the same for him and so i had to decline the invite to his party.

i didn't want him to get his hopes high, because breaking a guy's heart, is the last thing i would want to do.....

but just after a while of me declining his invite, i started getting too many messages.....all at once.

"y/n, why would u decline?" - diluc.

"y/n, don't be so stubborn pls. im sure we'd have fun" - dehya.

"y/n? parties are fun no? i'll pick you up and drop you okay?" - kaeya.

"y/n, ajax is rich. we'd have so much fun, now come on, reschedule your plans" - alhaitham.

ugh. this is why i hate popular guys. they get away with everything. ajax must have asked them to convince me and now everyone is asking me to come to the party.....but i know for a fact that ajax will roam around me and irritate me there by asking me questions.....

i didn't want to go but so many of my friends were requesting me to the point that i couldn't deny.....

and i did feel like i needed a moment to relax myself from the work stress ive been dealing with. maybe going to the party isn't so much of a bad idea i guess?

i take my phone to text ajax even though my heart denied.

"hey ajax....im coming to your party" - me

"sure cutie" - ajax

time skip, tomorrow 5:30 pm

"y/n, what are you wearing tonight? - ajax

"ummm i was thinking of maybe wearing a black slip dress?"

"oh? then i would wear a black suit for you so that we could match eachother, cutie" - ajax.

🎀

after about half an hour, kaeya rings up my door bell and allows me in his car to go to ajax's venue and we arrive there together

"heyyyy y/nnie!!!" ajax exclaimed in an excited tone and allowed me to follow him to take a look around his new house.

after a while of me praising his house interior and room decor, i heard Jean calling us around to play a game of truth and dare.

And honestly, i enjoyed that game a lot but.....i knew that ajax was here as well and i would probably get teased by his name constantly. but honestly, i let that slide because i needed to relax myself by this party and not ruin anyone's mood....

but who knew this party could get wayyyy tooooo relaxing?

"21! oh me? awh okay i choose dare" i said....knowing that this dare would not be easy at all, but....i liked to take risks soooo why not ?

"okay y/n, if u could choose one boy from this room to fuck with, who would you choose?" kaeya asks

but as soon as he asked this, alhaitham was quick to correct him "hey kaeya, she chose dare, not truth"

and that's when i knew that i messed up by choosing dare.

and then, amber moves forward and says

"okay, y/n i dare you to have

seven minutes of heaven with ajax

WHAT.

"its a dareee, you have to do it" "comeonnn y/n u gotta do this" "ajax is prob hard rn by thinking of it haha" "it's a dare, u have to follow the rules" "u can't back off now y/n"

everyone starts chanting the same words with the repeated meaning

i think to myself, can they all shut up?

i refused to have those "seven minutes" with ajax, but honestly....rules are rules right? i had to follow them considering the fact that others accepted their dares too.....

ajax holds my hand and we both go into his room together and we could feel the tension building up between us....

"y/n uh i don't know what to say- honestly if you are uncomfortable with the dare, then we can just refuse........orrr if you would like to atleast try being with me? please y/n? ive had a crush on you for so long and i just wish we could get together one day.

if my love is true, then we will"

i could feel ajax sliding his hands around my waist and holding my neck with his other hand.

he pins me up against the wall and starts leaning in closer towards me. i could feel the adrenaline rushing as i wanted to feel his lips on mine so badly....i never thought i could feel this way for ajax but maybe.....maybe his love was true and i could feel it between us, just like he said.

and then. our lips intertwined

his soft lips with his rough kisses really turned me on, too much. and maybe. maybe. in this moment, all i wanted was ajax. and it did feel like "heaven" right now.

the kissing gets more intense as our tongues play with eachother by intertwining and sucking eachother's lips.....

and as our time was running out, his kisses were getting deeper and deeper, and so, my moans were getting louder.

ajax goes lower, towards my neck and starts giving his love bites

"agh- ngh ajax- ah" i moan.

"i can't stop now, y/n...not because i have to complete the dare, but because i can't let go of you and im not in the state to ever let go of you. i love you and these loves bites are a sign of me being yours"

and that's when i realised that ajax is kind of just like my type......dominative and rough actions....but with soft words. i love such men.

and i couldn't deny that i was catching feelings for ajax right now at this moment....

he starts to move his lips towards my chest, and then, he slips my dress's strap and my boobs which were covered with my black lace bra were clearly visible to him.

i could see ajax's erection down there...

he places my one hand on my boobs and starts to kiss and suck it. he then starts to suck my nipples which made me moan because he was getting even more rough and more intense.

ajax couldn't control it anymore and so, he starts to take off his belt and unbutton his pants.....

his dick...i loved his light brown creamy base with lightish pink tip so much. i wanted leave my kiss marks imprint on it.

"get down on your knees y/n" he said in a deep breathy but in a needy voice.

and so. i did.

i lick his tip and kiss it at first which makes him moan loudly in pleasure.

"agh- y/n....i missed you so much."

"aghhh uhmmm mmm y/n, uhh mmh continue it"

i move his dick back and forth before taking it in my mouth and then, after that, i start to suck it.

i take it in my mouth and he lets out soft deep moans...

his moans are so good it's turning me on so badly.

i lick, suck and kiss his dick continuously until our "seven minutes" were over.

he moans loudy "aghh y/n stop omg this agh- uh- mgh- ngh"

his hot cummage was in my mouth and he forced me to swallow it whole

before putting his pants back up, he slid his hands inside my skirt and he kept moving it further upward until he could feel my pussy. he starts to rub on my clit while i moan and enjoy the feeling of it, a little too much.

he continues rubbing it and satisfying me until i reach my limit....i moan and beg for him to stop

"ngh mmh ajax ah-"

these past seven minutes really felt like heaven for both of us

and then. we share one more kiss after it.

"i love you so much y/n. can i be yours now?"

"i love you more ajax, im all yours now"

[tepli-mravenci]

hey homonoromo! a czech related question: how is it with queer acceptance in your country? preferrably in brno, haha. and especially about trans people? do you think it'd be possible for me to transition there? and how much would it cost in general? and do i have to get psych approval and wait in the queue for years or stuff like in the uk?

i know you're not a consultant or anything, i just don't know who to ask. also, i guess that's way more than one question

Aight so when it comes to acceptance it really comes to individual people but regarding transition there's a couple things to consider:

- according to law you are required (among other things) to get sterilized to complete your transition if you're transitioning fully from one binary gender to another (aka you want your personal documents say you're that gender and you want a name that's purely given to people of that gender), also there's no nonbinary option for the "full" transition, you either have M or F on your ID

- before you're allowed to start taking HRT you need to go to a therapist essentially, it really depends on WHERE exactly and WHO your therapist is and I don't know the Brno situation but there are forums (mostly on Facebook I think) where people discuss their experiences (also čumblr Brňáci might know more than me)

- this is also individual when it comes to how long you'll be waiting, how long they'll be examining you and how long it will take you to transition

- I'm not sure how MONEY works when you have a non-czech insurance company (since I have no idea how insurance works) but if you do have one that operates in the Czech republic they WILL pay for your transition as if it were any other medical treatment (there's of course examinations and shit that determine whether it will psychologically benefit you to receive that treatment), you should still check if your insurance covers these kinds of things tho

- during your examination period you're first required to "try out" presenting yourself socially as the gender you're transitioning to which includes using a gender neutral name

- a recent GOOD development here is that you can now change your name to a neutral one ANYTIME even if you're not "officially" transitioning! Here's a list of legally approved gender neutral names!

- there are invasive and unnecessary examinations that should not be mandatory for the transition but your therapist can still try to make you go through them, depends again on the specific one, it's also important to remember that the way trans people are diagnosed here is reportedly ancient and just...really stupid? (to quote what my classmate told me, they asked him things like "did you play with dolls or cars as a child?")

- if you are married (to someone of the opposite sex) or in a registered partnership (with someone of the same sex) pre-transition, you have to get divorced when you complete transition because they're not the same on a legal level

Trans*parent is a great Czech resource when it comes to transition and trans stuff in general

I am not sure how different it is with foreigners or even if you'd find a therapist who speaks english honestly. Don't quote me on this but you might need to get Czech citizenship first? But I really don't know.

If I said something stupid or inaccurate (or no longer relevant) here pls correct me!!

[shiftingtomydrs]

i am so very fucking bored rn (also going insane bcs of the book situation of my last post) soo guess ill make the kimi antonelli slash gymnast dr post now :D

About me:

Name: Same as CR

Birthdate: Same as CR, my birthyear is 2007

Age when I shift: 13 (2020, gymnast) / 15 (2022, figure skater)

Occupation: torn between gymnast and figure skater rn (the argument for gymnast is that i already have a fs dr, i planned this dr as a fs dr tho soo idk haha)

S/O: Kimi Antonelli ⤵

How we meet (both versions)

basically mercedes sponsors me (idk if theres sponsoring in gymnastics or fs so if there isnt correct me pls) or if not sponsoring they like idk are connected to me so they give me tickets for f1 in 2023 and i go there and meet kimi whos also there (in the f1 garage). anyway we get along really well and then become friends and eventually start dating. thats it basically i havent planned much more yet.

IF I do the figure skating version, my backstory and everything will basically be the same as in my other figure skating dr soo just look up 'figure skating dr' on my blog and youll find it

IF I do the gymnast version:

Career: I started gymnastics at 3 years old when my mum put me in one of those toddler gymnastics programs so i could get excercise and then just kinda stuck to it haha and got better and better. Idk if i should pull the ultimate mary sue move and say i go to the 2016 olympics cos id be a literal child (9 years old) and also its kinda not allowed in the rules orrrrr if i should do the 2020 olympics as my first ones. Argument against the 2020 olympics is that simone biles didnt compete all the way through and i dont want it to be like 'oh she just won cos simone wasnt competing' yk? anyway thats mostly it, i havent really looked into national competitions yet or international competitions for that matter haha

idk i dont really have much more planned out yet tbh soo thats it for now :)

[chenfordspiral]

Anything with a 3!

This is so mean.. but also, thank you for not saying 1 or 2 😂

There's a keep reading tap in here because this got a little long haha

3. Are there any specific themes you enjoy exploring in your fics? Oyyy.. um. I have a hard time separating themes from tropes right now so pardon if this is crap. But I love themes (and these are probably super obvious) like family, and love, and friendship, and overcoming things together and growing stronger in the process. Like give me these found family vibes any day and I'm sat. Did I answer that correctly??

13. What's the most challenging aspect of writing fanfiction for you? Keeping the characters in character! Listen, I'm a master overthinker, so of course I will worry about keeping them in character with every new story or new chapter I write. It's who I am. Doesn't matter that I've written quite a lot now, I'm always going to worry.

23. How do you write endings for your fics? Do you prefer open-ended or conclusive conclusions? I don't think I've ever actually written anything and left it open-ended, so the obvious answer would have to be conclusive conclusions (also, why did I lol so hard when I read that? "conclusive conclusions" well, yeah conclusions are usually conclusive..right? Sorry, I haven't slept in a long while 😂) Okay, I lied. I do actually have one story that's open-ended. Whoops.

30. How do you handle writing multiple storylines or subplots? Already answered here :)

31. Do you prefer writing from a single character's perspective or switching between different viewpoints? I know for a fact that in pretty much all of my stories, I switch back and forth between different viewpoints within the story. Sooo yeah, that's my answer I guess haha

32. Have you ever participated in fanfiction contests, challenges/fests? Yes, I did contribute stories to ChenfordWeek23 in July and the Secret Santa event in December!

33. How do you incorporate world-building elements into your fics? Damn woman, these are hard questions. Does that even apply when I just take the world we know from the show and then try to stay as true to that as possible? I may be wrong here and please correct me if I'm wrong lol, but isn't world-building basically like creating your own, unique world that doesn't actually exist? 🤔 someone help me out here pls 😂

34. Are there any fic writing tips or tricks you've learned along the way that you'd like to share? Oh hell. Have fun with it? I know that's lame but that's truly the best tip I can give. If you don't enjoy writing something, don't write it. If you enjoy writing it, go ahead and write it.

35. What do you enjoy most about being a fic writer? Being able to escape reality for a bit. And trying to give these characters even more stories and in-between-moments because we don't see everything in a 40-minute episode. Also, fanfic allows you to just explore stuff and have these characters meet in 18731129 different ways and yet always find their way to each other eventually.

Thanks for sending some questions!

[ambrosialdesire]

I saw your post about yandere Levi so I was wondering what your thoughts would be on yandere Jean? (I’m ngl I can’t really picture him as a yandere but he’s so fine.)

to this day, i think his s4 hair is still kinda goofy (pls don't come for me haha it's simply my opinion, maybe it's because i'm still used to his old hair lolol)

my thoughts on yandere jean are kinda standard. as of now, i can only see him as a yandere that's not going to have much changes to his personality, whether or not the reader is an enemy or on his side. yeah if you're an enemy, he's first going to be a little hesitant on making a move on you but regardless, his outcome/methods are the same. he's not my most favorite character but i do like him and his character. back in middle school, i used to be OBSESSED with reading eren x reader x jean because of the conflict LMAO

sorry this is kinda short compared to my levi post, guess i gotta write more yandere!jean if i want to get used to his character haha

again this is sorta written as a gender neutral reader but it's also slightly implied to be a fem reader.

tw: manipulation, inappropriate touching, possessive behavior, implied non-con, jealousy themes

anyways back to yandere jean explanation. for me, he's not the one that's going to strike first. he’s the one that’s gonna wait it out till the end, but he will have his influences in order to get what he wants. he's cunning and observant, using what he's seen and known so he can properly manipulate. to the untrained eye, it seems that he's just cocky about being able to do this but he's secretly nervous and doubtful in his abilities, constantly thinking if what he's doing is morally correct. he's still as temperamental as he was when he was a trainee but it now eats him on the inside; he doesn't express his anger that much anymore but his jealousy is at a consistent all time high.

to his friends and other soldiers, jean just seems like normal jean. sure, he's a little overprotective and tends to move you away from the others so it would be just the two of you. sure, he may tell you things about your friends that make you think twice on why you're still talking to them. sure, sometimes you can feel his hands wander a little more than you're used to. but that's only because he knows what's best for you, right? jean promises he's everything but a dishonest man, he's only looking out for you!

jean is also known to be quite the daydreamer too, imagining a homely life with you despite the circumstances going around in the world around him. he loves the thought of you and him being all domestic, a child on your hip while you waited for dinner to finish before he came home from work. sometimes the daydreams wander into something more steamy but it's always quickly cut short because of the others interrupting it. he swears to god that everyone has it out for him whenever he has a daydream about you, like it's some kind of sixth sense.

he's always going to be a little mean to you, always teasing you but he always means well (in his standards at least). i wouldn't say he's a complete tsundere about his feelings but he definitely flirts, feeling embarrassed in secret about it afterwards. remember, he may seem confident on the outside but he always feels a little doubtful internally. he's definitely a force to mess with whenever someone else tries to flirt with you, he has a bite behind his bark at all times.

but when jean gets jealous, it quite literally takes over him. it's always a sickly, crawling feeling that resonates in the pit of his stomach to the edges of his fingertips. his temper is ten times worse too and he gets super insecure, to the point where he'll just straight up grab you and pull you into somewhere that's seclude enough to fuck you raw. he always puts in jabs about if the other person is better than he is and if the kindness he gave to you meant nothing at all. the hate-fucking always leaves you a sobbing mess, begging for his forgiveness and blubbering about how you only wanted him. then and only then will he comfort you, kissing your tears away and quietly apologizing, again repeating that everything he does to you is for your own good.

[endlessthedestiny]

for a long time now ive been thinking about the HS typing quirks and what would the quirks be for sandman characters, so im making this long ass post just to eliminate this from my system

disclaimer: english is not my first language (classic) and if you disagree or have a different headcanon pls share i want to hear (if some may seem ooc my deepest apologies)

Morpheus

Writes in italic.

Bold for emphasis. can also *rarely* use asterisks.

No emoticons, but probably used "*-*" in some conversation with Death.

Normal capitalization and punctuation. If mistype, corrects expressively (ex. "I meant afternoon, sorry.)

If comfortable, uses keyboard smash (ex. "Ahshsnsbj") to laugh.

Death

Doesn't capitalize the beginning of the phrase or utilizes final dot unless she wants to be taken seriously.

Sometimes use the emoticons ":)", ":(", "^_^" only with those she is intimate/trusts. Uses frequently with Delirium.

Emphasis is CAPITALIZED.

When mistypes corrects with *asterisk.

Avoids sending a wall of texts, preferring send small texts to form a big text.

Desire

Italic.

Not severe with capitalization or punctuation. only cares and uses it perfect if wants to be taken seriously.

If sending a big message (+3 lines) ends with a "~ <3", otherwise, only uses "~".

Syllables repetition only to annooooy, with ellipsis at the end. . .

Only emoticon used is ";)"

For emphasis, utilizes *asterisk*.

Also corrects mistypes with *asterisk, and sometimes adds a "oops" or similar at the end.

Despair

Capitalization In Every Word, but the punctuation is perfect.

Bold for the emphasis.

Uses ellipsis in the end of most phrases. . .

Also only send ellipsis if doesn't want to answer.

Rarely mistypes, but if do, doesn't correct.

Destiny

Again, italic.

Capitalization and punctuation perfect.

Doesn't mistype, and corrects the others faster than the person themselves.

Bold for emphasis.

But when angry and wants to be taken more seriously, uses exclamation marks at the end!

Sends empty messages if doesn't want to answer.

Answers in a unbelievable speed. Sometimes send multiple responses almost at once.

If wants to laugh (which RARELY occurs) sends "Ha, ha, haha."

Destruction

ALL CAPS. Inconsistent punctuation.

Double square brackets to [[EMPHASIS]].

Laughs with "OHOHOHO" and similar.

Sometimes uses ":DDD" by influence of Delirium.

When mistypes, very rarely corrects, and corrects expressively (ex. "I MEANT TOMORROW").

Delirium

wRiTES cApITaLiZiNg RAndOmly. punctuation.. it's complicated. she knows how to use question marks that's much I guess

She starts every phrase (when she remembers) with "@ - - >"

For emphasis, she alternates between ****ASTERISKS****, (((TRIPLE PARENTHESIS))), bold and FULL CAPS.

When more controlled, she capitalizes less (ex. "iTs Me."). But the more she is angry or ansious, the harder becomes to understand what she's saying (she replaces some letters with random symbols, keyboard smashes mid phrase etc).

She uses every type of emoticon possible. But her favorites apparently are ":D" and "@__@". Kaomojis are rarely used.

Sometimes Barnabas translates what she's saying. (Ex. Del: "@ - - > iM sOOOoOooy hApPPY!!!! ajahshshhshd". Barbanas: "She said I'm so happy.")

Laughs with keyboard smash, the longer the funnier.

When she mistypes, she doesn't correct. Also dislikes when someone excessively corrects her.

okay now some extras, I didn't think much about them so yea

Lucifer

When he mistypes, he corrects himself as fast as he can. But Destiny always corrects his mistypes first and faster which pisses him off. But Lucifer also corrects the people when they mistype to annoy or simply to correct.

Sometimes simply answers "A" or "K".

Also laughs with "Hah". Already laughed with ))) at some point.

Corinthian

He uses ";)" and "B)".

Begins the phrases with < less than and finishes with greater than >

Hob

When sending a long text, finishes with "~ H."

The one who said that Morpheus is the "*-*" emoticon, and insists in using it with him.

okay im tired, if anything I will edit this post or simply reblog with additions. also now im feeling guilty of tagging cori and hob but whatever

thank you if you read allat

[wolfcubjim]

Some thoughts/small things I notice while watching Coraline (started like 15 mins into movie, lmao)

The other mother doesn't eat during the first other world dinner

I love Coralines moon and star turning lamp

If coraline had those cutters any higher up then oofers for Mr. B

One of the doggies' nose is red while the others are black

I love Spink and Forcible's fish lamp

Love that they added the cat climbing the tree in the backround, also that cat has great balance to stay on Wybie's back while he's biking away

"I bet he's hungry as a pumpkin," haha

It's so cool but still very sad that throughout Coraline's adventures in the other world, you can see the eyes of the ghost children

Back to unserious, the decals on Mr. B's jacket sleeves look like dicks xD

Cora's mom is pretty harsh when we first meet her but she trys a little, it won't do much but she tried ig

Why do all the indoor lights stay on at the other world??

Also, I love the cat, he's so great

The standing cutout of the guy in the boat, his eyes follow Miss Spink (I'm guessing which is which, pls correct me if wrong)

They really gave Miss Forcible jiggle physics

I haven't pointed it out cause most people already know about the portraits of the other kids behind Coraline in the dining room, but I also love that behind the other father and other mother in the dining room, there are animal skulls with horns

Also, I love that you can see the Detroit zoo snow globe in the background, and it's already fogged/iced up, at least during the other mothers' first transformation scene

Love that the stars on Coralines sweater glow in the dark a little bit

Love that other Wybie uses the chicken oven glove from the other kitchen as a mask xD

The cat in the burning of the doll of her parents' scene is half her size

The food the other mother cooks makes me so hungry omg, it looks so good

The hint for her parents is literally just to use her eyes /s

Poor Other father, at least he helps Coraline

The change is other Mr. B's voice is terrifying when he says "not even that anymore"

Coraline has great aim, first with her hat landing on the mosquitos now with the taffy looking thing that would've hit

I love the slow peeling of the wallpaper as coraline passes throught the house

So funny that her parents don't wonder why she's covered in cobwebs

Each of the dead children has different halos

The ending is always very nice, whether she's still in the other world (as theorized) or not, it's still great

But that still begs the question, are there pocket portals around the real world for the cat to 'teleport' through, or is the other world still around? I personally think that the cat still has portals to get around the real world, it shows him doing something similar in the other world when he sticks his head through the tree and comes out the other end when he shouldn't have been able; I think it's something like that, just in the real world

[lunarwildrose]

I seem to have more white strands in my hair ... I guess all this stress catching up to me.

I was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. I don't know what to make of that yet. My social worker says I simply don't have psychosis. I don't know why I hear, see, feel, sense, taste, smell, anything with my senses then. She just says it's all trauma and personality construct. I guess my Carl Jung theory, with shadow selves, soul fragments, animus, thoughtforms, etc that I started off with seven years ago was just the correct theory then. I originally started off with some form of shamanism, but realised it was heavily lifting from Jungian psychology, so leaned into that instead.

I'm a Presbyterian Christian now, and only received my approval to join the church yesterday in a meeting with Elders and Shepherd Leaders with one of the Pastors. I had been meeting with the other Pastor for months before he deemed me ready for Baptism. I'll be Baptized in March. My Uncle Dave and Aunt Tricia want to have a brunch for me. Their daughter, Sarah Elizabeth, is going to buy a new dress for the occasion. My brothers will be there, and so will one of their girlfriends, and possibly a friend and her child too. Other friends will watch the church livestream. I feel so honoured to have so many special people in my life who love me, and support me now. 🙏🏻

Also, random, but remember my fictional long-lost twin brother Alexander Adrian Amaranth aka Adrian Alexander Veidt? One of the older women there thought my name WAS Adrian, haha! How funny. ^^; I said it's Alexandria like in Egypt, but to pls call me Sasha if Alexandria is too hard. She said she will remember Sasha cos tis so different. Sasha, and my family nickname Sha, are both short for Alexandria, like in Russia, Sasha is short for Alexander and Alexandra, heh. ♡

[taegularities]

since rid has become a RIDdler (im sorry i rlly couldnt resist 🤭) im gonna try to answer the questions

i honestly think hobi is gonna flirt w her (dimples af)

for jk's painting... im think smt to do with flowers (specifically forget me nots) or just oc in general (like literally painting her)

i might sound like a fake reader but i don't remember the whole frat party thing (no one kill me pls) i read it TOO LONG AGO

follow up to my guesses- i didn't realize how late i was to respond HAHA, ig ppl already got it 💀💀

it's okay tbh i'm still curious if anyone at all can guess the painting and frat party bit.. the flirting question is easy :'D and no wdym a riddler, i am an Open Book 🤓

i'm gonna say, at least one of the things mentioned here are correct... 🤭 as for the frat party, that's a past event that happened loooong ago, and no one ever wants to talk about what went down back then... least of all oc 🤣

what do we think?

[quidfree]

I didn't know you watched Stranger Things. I adore your MHA works a lot (your characters' designs, your worldbuilding ideas,... they all are brilliant), so I wanted to ask about ST a month ago when I started watching the show ( but didn't know for sure that you even knew about it so). So, what's your thoughts for Stranger Things? Did you read any analysis, like about the subtext, symbolism,... of it?

(btw I love Steve and Robin' friendship so much)

have a good day ^^

haha i don’t watch that many Popular Medias but i’ve watched s3-4 of stranger things yeah (don’t ask me why i haven’t watched s1-2)

also thank you re works <3 i do have many opinions abt stranger things but i’ll just drop a couple of random ones here or we’ll be here forever- if you want to talk abt specific things feel free to ask (s5, the will sexuality conundrum, ships, whatever)

first off you are correct steve and robin’s friendship is so great. wish we had more of their conversations this season but loved their rapport. robin’s coming out scene in s3 is one of my top 3 stranger things scenes.

my fav charas are probably… steve will max nancy? i like s3 robin more than s4 robin

i haven’t really read much Analysis of it actually... i feel like most of the things in the show are fairly surface level im not sure what i’d be reading into. then again somehow people still don’t think will is gay so maybe i’m making generous assumptions about people’s media analysis skills

i guess the Upside Down of it all is the ripest for theories but my honest stance there is that i don’t think the duffers actually know what they’re doing when it comes to their crafting the UD. the rules of the upside down are INSANELY inconsistent between seasons and episodes lol. why hopper got lung damage from the air there but steve’s been biting bats and getting strangled and getting chunks eaten out of him and just walking it off i do not know.

i think will and el should have scary sci-fi child vibes together & s5 should refocus on the s1-2 protags. i love the extended cast but i think the show is better when we have our Protagonists do Protagonist things. and noah schnapp should be acting beyond [tender emotional music] again!!!! even goddamn mike needs to step his ass up back into protagonist territory in s5 im tired of his s4 blandness

people speculate a lot abt the relationships in the show and like i said im not diving into all that unless asked but i am Tired of the nancy love triangle storyline we are 4 seasons into the show pls. 

my least fav plot line is probably ye old evil russians. like really. is that still fresh and groundbreaking in 2022. hopper’s storyline this season bored me so much. 

let me purge my followers of anyone who will take issue with this stance but fuuuuuck billy, one of those kylo ren loser charas whose following makes 0 sense to me hes literally insanely abusive to his kid sister and her friends of which he tries to kill the only black one like why are people ride or die for this man. i dont care that he has a sad backstory do you know how many people have sad backstories and aren’t like that. 

on the other hand i did love eddie this season altho i was at peace with him dying bc it spared steve. however i think his death scene was dumb and could have been done better. and i am sad they didn’t give us more of a steve bisexuality arc bc tbh it would actually fit his character. more interesting than steve pining after nancy again

I HATE THE TIMESKIP THEY DID AT THE END OF S4 !!! VERY LAME !!!

[jinniebit]

well, i think i did rather questionably on one of the exams😭 now we'll just have to wair until my teachers feel like correcting the papers💀

well you know, it's never too late to change your career👀 but you work as a filmmaker and editor, right? that also sounds super cool :o im jealous djdkek

we are going to watch Avatar 2! i dont remember anything from the first movie so lmao we'll see how that goes😂

omg you are so right with b me!!! angst!!! give it to me, all of it!!! okay you are so right about thunderous/play with fire/red lights hyunjin... so good <3 AND YEA PURPLE MINHO!!!! that's my second fave look on him probably, but nothing will top the orange/copper minho😌💖 and speaking of fave hair styles😭 this era seungmin with the bleached bangs? i love that hair sooooo much on him!!!💞 kinds reminds me of p1harmony's siren era jiung, except his hair colors were flipped around haha, i loved that one so much as well

oh man, i have sooo many other biases/ults 😂😶 first of all the dudebro i mentioned above, jiung from p1h is one of my ults, and so is jongseob and theo (his rainbow hair was so good<3), from tbz my ult is haknyeon, from svt minghao and jun, kingdom's mujin, cravity's jungmo and taeyoung, treasure's junkyu (and yedam :')) ) are my ults, i guess, but i have a bunch more biases in those groups and elsewhere too🤕 from atz i bias san and mingi, and from itzy i bias ryujin and yeji as well ^^ and in txt i bias all of the choi bois and kai dhdjsj sorry tae💀 also i really like the billlie girls, i want to get more into them! and i would drop anything for pixy's lola and half of dreamcatcher in a second if they asked me to 🧎🏻‍♀️

soooo as you see basically im also a biiiig multi, i feel like i get into every second group i come across haha - 🎄 santa anon

Yeah but I think it’s too late for me to become a professional dancer but who knows right? And yeah its fun! Can be reeeeeeeeally stressing but its a cool job haha

Oh Avatar! I’m kinda curious for this movie although I don’t remember liking the first one hahaha pls let me know how it goes after!!

YES minnie bangs were the best! I’m so happy we are having more of it on the season greetings!!!

And I thought I was the big multi haha! How do you manage to keep up with all of them?? Jdhsjd I used to stan a lot more groups but it was just to much for me hahahah what would you say are your top 3? And how long have you liked kpop?

[millenialfanfictionaddiction]

May I rant here for a sec? My parents are just- really frustrating me lately., and they're being shitty about my gender, and- ugh...

For the record, I don't live with my parents. I am very comfortable and confident in the labels I have chosen to identify with, and ain't nobody's opinions gonna be able to change shit. Also, the entirety of my family are Christians. I'm a Christian, and I get that gender stuff can be a bit of complicated situation, but still...

I came out, gender wise, almost a year ago. I came out as a demi girl (which has since changed to bigender, but I haven't told them cuz they don't give a flying fuck anyways) and that I was using she/her and he/him, as well as using two names (my birth name and a new one), all used interchangeably. They responded with the expected "we still love you no matter what" bullshit and I just, gggrrrrrrrr!

(My sister wins for best response to that coming out, tho. She replied, and I quote, "lol well duh" XD)

Additional note: I have done no actual, physical or hormonal transitioning, and idk if I ever will. I'm trying to present more masc because I want to be perceived as more gn or masc. I'm not great at it, but that's my current 'transitioning' status.

Now, I am pretty aggressive when it comes to people, my family included, misgendering other people. My friends, my partner, etc. Don't misgender people or I am going to correct you. And if you keep doing it wrong without effort to improve, I WILL make you uncomfortable for fucking up! ... However, I don't know how to do that with myself...

It's really hard with my parents, still using she/her, because they're not technically wrong, but... I wish I had the guts to tell them, "you calling me she/her because those are still my pronouns is different than you using she/her because you refuse to use he/him". And they're never explicitly transphobic (like, they've never said anything like "I don't like trans people" or anything) but they also obviously don't accept it, or like it, or like if I bring trans/queer anything up.

Like, on Sunday I was at my parents' for father's day, scrolling through Pinterest, and a post came up. Talkin about how 'according to Mulan, you need blah blah blah to be a man (ya know the song). You do not need a penis of any sort' and I thought it was kinda fun, so I read it out loud and my dad's instant response was, "ha, yes you do <need a penis>" ... (My partner was there, and apparently I noticeably deflated at that comment and didn't get better until we went home...)

And today, I was talking to my mom about our little vacation we're going on in July to see her side of the family, and I mentioned, "Heh, I don't think I've come out to Uncle Russ. Uncle Ryan guessed it, and I came out to grandma, but not Uncle Russ" and I said it really lightheartedly cuz I found it kinda like a 'haha, oops!' and she just- in the most dismissive tone, replied, "yeah, I wouldn't worry about it", as if it doesn't even matter! Like, fuck, it just hurts! It fucking hurts me!

Back in March, I was feeling super stressed about my birthday (autism brain(I think) finds birthdays super super stressful. I can't handle the surprise of gifts, and people expecting certain reactions, and- ugh! No. Do not like. I have had at least one mental breakdown around my birthday every year for- idek how many years now. A lot.) and it was a lot of because I was worried about having to spend time with my parents, and them calling me she/her in a way that just still feels like misgendering somehow. And I was so desperate for some validation that I wrote myself a paragraph using both my names and all my pronouns with some encouraging words as if it were a social media post for my birthday written by Oikawa (I don't even simp for oikawa, btw, but pls, I want to be his friend, we would be such great buddies and we would cause so much chaos!) I know that writing stuff about ourselves/others interacting with fictional characters to make ourselves/others feel better is normal around here, but I think for 'normal people' it's weird, and I wish I could be able to tell my parents that I had to do that, and that in general they would understand how much their dismissive attitude hurts me. And it just gets worse and worse the more they do it.

.

I'm really sorry for such a long post. I'm just- I'm not constantly frustrated by this, but I get more and more annoyed and upset each time it happens. And as much as I hope I'm wrong some day, I've basically accepted that they're never going to do it right. To them, I'm never going to be "I was talking to him, and ___". I'm never going to be "my oldest son___" (or 'child'! Even just gn is better than nothing!) I'm just- not actually me...

- Dragon anon

First off, Dragon anon please always feel free to rant to me/us! It feels so awesome that people trust me/this blog to share their daily issues with. That's a huge sign of trust and I love it! It makes my mom heart happy!

I'm sorry your family is struggling with this acceptance. It's hard enough dealing with accepting our own identity and then to have our family not accept that is tough.

I'm so proud of you for all that you've processed and been thought in your identity journey. You are right, it can be very complicated for not only you but for your family. And i feel like if they communicated that difficulty, it would be different. But for them to not even try, I feel lile that's not respectful of you.

I'm going to share a little of my youngest kiddos journey with you. So she (current preferred pronoun) was afab. She was diagnosed with Autism at 2 and has been genderfluid/non-binary/bi-gender since. It's actually very common for people onto he spectrum to identify as genderfluid (as told to me by her psychologist). At one point, she wanted to be referred to as a he. So we did that. I told everyone her preferred pronou was "he/him" and to act accordingly. Now she's decided she was "she/her" and to dress more masculine. I've accepted this and accommodated as much as I possibly can. My oldest (he/him) often had troubles with pronouns and sees everyone has "him" which we are working on.

The point here is that your family should respect your preferences. It's not their life that's being affected it's yours. And respect goes deeper than just being cordial or nice. It's respecting people's preferences. I'm so glad you are helpful with it comes to other people's pronouns because being misgendered and/or the wrong pronoun can be harmful not to mention disrespectful. I think you should take the same approach with yourself. Value yourself like you value the others around you because you deserve that respect. If your mom identifies as "she/her" and you just started calling her "he/him" she'd probably get offended and that same principle should apply to you.

I know pronouns/gender/sexuality can be confusing but I'm the type of person to ask questions or Google when I don't understand something. You cannot fault someone for asking a question about something they don't understand and knowing you as I do, I think you'd appreciate them taking the effort to do so.

I hope this helps in some way. Again I'm sorry you have to deal with this. Accepting yourself is hard enough without dealing with outside influences.

Just know you are always accepted here as you are and we love and care about you very much 🥰

[mr-stottlemonk]

Do you have any advice for writing a link story?

I just started writing! Do you have any advice? Or any story plots lol

omg hello! i'm not exactly sure what you mean by link story (so send me another ask to correct me if im wrong, dear!). i'm guessing you mean connected to an episode!

i'd say choose a particular scene; connect it to an emotion that seemed quite prevelant in that scene or one that you wish was explored! eg: for Mr. Monk and The Bad Girlfriend - there's a lot of angst there. so, personally, i go the 'Stottlemeyer is angry and heartbroken. About both Linda and Monk. Linda for hurting him and Monk for being so far out of reach'

best advice i have for characterization is keep (re)watching the episodes. especially s2 and forewards! if you're looking to dive into their relationship more (there's more body language there, more compliments etc).

When I'm writing Stottlemeyer, i try to put myself in the shoes of a man who cares not only for Monk but for his job, for doing the right thing. But also he's a man quickly overwhelmed by anger and worry; he's quick to protect and also assume. He's smitten to his very bones.

With Monk, it's a bit more confusing - he doesn't only think of one thing at a time, and if he does it's to such a concentrated point. When I write Monk i try to put myself in a shoes of a man who is a wreck, he is searching for peace but can't find it, he is constantly overwhelmed and worried. when he isn't its either because he is distracted for the moment or he's in the presence of people he trusts and loves: Stottlemeyer, Natalie, Sharona, Trudy, Randy. He also cares and worries very deeply.

sksksks, i feel like im rambling so i'll put the plot ideas under the cut!

plot ideas!! i have tons...

if you're looking for canon related plot:

-> Monk's feelings after Mr. Monk Makes a Friend

-> Leland's feelings and overprotective behaviour towards Monk after Mr. Monk is On the Run.

-> Possible Stottlemeyer/Monk secret relationship - some detectives either take notice or almost walk in on them (talking, sitting close, kissing or whatever you want)

-> Angst take: Leland is not having a good day and he snaps it out on Adrian. Ends up regretting it big time. Confession time :)

-> The precinct calls Monk in when the Captain is in a bad mood.

-> They have to pretend to be a couple for a case

-> Stottlemeyer heads to Monk's place after a pretty bad date.

-> Monk is having a pretty bad day himself and Leland notices. Takes him home.

-> Dr. Kroger catches something: Monk's increased mentioning of Stottlemeyer.

For aus:

-> Catboy au (if you're in the brain rot along with us, lol)

-> Neighbours au - they're neighbours; thus they meet each other differently

-> Living together - literally any domestic plot (cleaning together, moving in together) or disagreements (Leland keeps forgetting to load the dishwasher or Adrian needs to stop going into Leland's room)

-> blind date au: randy and natalie are good friends who think their respective friends (Stottlemeyer and Monk) may get along so they set up a date for them

-> A/B/O au: Leland's scent is the only thing that doesnt overwhelm Adrian

woah, those are quite a number... i am so sorry if i have overwhelmed you haha. pls excuse my rambling.

anyway. i hope these help!! i am cheering for you dear <3. don't stress too much, have fun! write whatever you want, whatever you wanted to see or add. if you want some references or guidance another great thing to do is read fics for them! so re-read any of the stottlemonk fics you really like and study those.

feel free to send another ask if you'd like. my dms are open too if you're comfortable with that 💕🙇.

[revasserium]

For the fanfic ask game - 💞 💘 🦋

for the fanfic ask game! @aquagirl1978 hi hi hi hi how're u <3

💞 - what’s the most important part of a story for you? the plot, the characters, the worldbuilding, the technical stuff (grammar etc), the figurative language

the figurative language lmfao HONESTLY. like. i have pretty high tolerance for a book with like. zero plot. zero worldbuilding. if it's got pretty fucking writing im THERE. for my own fics -- i try very hard to put out good prose. but i actually rly like messing with "pacing"? idk if that even makes sense but i like interspersing like big chunks of slow text with like a bunch of quick back and forth dialogue. i know it's probably annoying as fuck for some ppl and might give others whiplash but lasdkfjoasd it's just something that i enjoy doing?? HAHA. and in the same vein. even if the characters and the worldbuilding is fantastic, if the prose is like. actively not good??? (and i dont mean like baseline right cause like dan brown is baseline. sparse, spartan sort of writing that gets the job done. i dont mind that at all) but like rly bad writing (if u want irl book examples pls dm me i have a LIST LMFAO) then i can't keep reading.

💘- Is there any posted fic you want to rework/re-edit/re-write?

actually, not really! i mean u kno me lol i write and then i TOSS it into the abyss. i don't edit. i don't even like correct spelling mistakes sometimes cause i am LAZY AF. this is fun for me, so i try to keep it fun and light and as unserious as i can u__u

🦋- what are you most insecure about when you post a fic?

i would like to say "nothing" but that would be a bold-faced lie lol. i think the reaction is always gonna be the thing i (and i hazard a guess that /most/ writers who post their work online or like IRL publish u kno) am always the most insecure about. but, because i've spent basically my whole life writing on the internet, it's also made me a bit more blasé about it? like i can almost always tell when something i post isn't going to do well. and if i temper my expectations, then i'm not actively disappointed when something doesn't like "perform". also. i find having like a few friends who u write /for/ helps bc then regardless of "public" opinion, if that one person ur writing for likes it then that's all that matters :D

[thirteenandten]

Well, hello there. I wanted to post this rec earlier but I went to sleep really late finishing one of the gems you’ll see in the list below. Also, I decided to add little notes about the fics because last week it felt really weird not saying anything about what I like about the fics so yeah, you’ll have to deal with more of my ramblings, I’m sorry haha 

Fic Rec No.2 (23.10.2017)

1. Ace of Hearts by Anonymus (2017) T

loosely based on the prompt: "Geri inadvertently (when drunk or by mistake?) tweets about his love for Ramos and has to deal with the consequences."

Sergio Ramos/Gerard Piqué - W: 13616

note: boy, do i love this ship a whole lot. it’s been a while since i was SO glad i lost sleep over a fic. this is all kinds of tender and funny and angsty and loving.

2. stuck on a bridge between us by wortfee ( @terfinha ) (2016) T

Marc never believed in true love. He still doesn't if he is completely honest, but laying together with Rafinha and kissing him until his lips are numb feels dangerously close to it.

or the one in which Marc is an artist trying to be in control and fails everytime he looks into Rafa's eyes.

Rafinha Alcantara/Marc André Ter Stegen - W:3100

note: i’m just here to remind you all that i love terfinha and that i love aus, so here, have one piece i adore with my whole heart.

3. two bodies pressed together by neyvenger ( @neyvenger ) (2016) T

"If I weren't a footballer, I would be a footballer's wife." - Kun Aguero

or

The one where Kun has to retire from football early and becomes Leo's househusband instead.

Sergio Agüero/Lionel Messi - W:6015

note: the wag au this ship always deserved. y’all don’t understand how much i love this fic, i have re-read it just too many times already. anyway, julija should have a permanent spot over here because i love everything she writes lol

more recs