#i guess some people out here are just straight and/or vanilla and/or virgins

[argonapricot]

very funny things to say

[shig-a-shig-ah]

LAYING CLAIM

» pairing: dabi x fem!reader

» cw: dubcon, revoked consent, noncon (we’re going on a journey, okay?), rimming, anal fingering, anal sex, crying, gratuitously fanon characterization. 18+, minors DNI.

» a/n: Started this months and months ago, and since I’m finally getting around to wrapping some WIPs, I guess you can have it now. Thanks @thebiggergroove​ for beta-reading!

» wc: 5.3k

» ao3 mirror

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The thing about Dabi is he's not usually a possessive guy. Fucking is fucking, as far as he's concerned—it doesn't really matter who is doing it with whom as long as everyone is getting off on it. But goddamn if there isn't something about you that makes him want to make you his.

And he's gotten that, more or less. It took some sweet talking and cajoling, and a few late nights where he made you come until you couldn't see straight, but you agreed not to go sleeping with anyone else. Sure, you've made him promise the same, but that's fine. Not that he's going to actually stop, of course, but he goes out on recruiting missions alone and he figures what you don't know won't hurt you.

That's all enough to satisfy him, at least for a little while. But then a few weeks pass and there it is again: that stupid jealousy and all those unbidden thoughts about the people you were with before him. People he knows. You never talk in too much detail about your past hookups, but he's not stupid, is all too aware that he's not the first one in this ragged band of miscreants that you've crawled into bed with. You've fucked Jin, and Shigaraki, and probably even Magne, god rest her soul—Dabi hadn't missed the way the two of you had huddled up giggling in the corner of the old bar one night, disappearing together unusually early, making those bedroom eyes at each other. And in theory that's fine. Nothing wrong with two girls having fun together, after all. Hell, bi chicks are hot and Dabi wouldn't mind taking advantage of that someday.

But first he needs to find a way to get the image of you with your legs spread for half the League out of his goddamn head.

If he's being honest, it's Shigaraki who bothers him the most. Magne is dead. Jin is a decent dude and, Dabi has to imagine, tame as a kitten in the sack. But Shigaraki, well...Dabi can tell just by looking at the guy that he's a freak, and the idea of you riding Shigaraki's dry, crusty dick, of letting him do who-knows-what filthy shit to you? It just gets to him.

And then Toga has to suggest that stupid game and go putting ideas in his head.

You're all sitting around the crumbling office space that passes for a hideout, drinking to celebrate the League's first successful double-amputation (because fuck that germophobic, transphobic prick), and blondie is just begging to play a drinking game. Normally Dabi doesn't go for that shit—why anyone needs an excuse to get wasted is beyond him—but he's in a good mood, and you make that adorable pouty face as you tell him that you played in college, that it's really fun, and somehow he finds himself sitting in a circle on the dusty floor with the rest of you losers playing 'I haven't' or whatever the fuck it's called.

It's all bland shit to start. Toga's never driven a car, Shigaraki's never gone to school. But, after you've made your way around the circle once, everyone seems to be loosening up and Spinner takes one for the team by getting to the interesting shit and admitting he's never slept with a girl. It spurs a moment of awkward silence made all the worse by his red face and obvious self-consciousness about being a virgin, but then Compress stage-whispers "Neither have I," before winking salaciously at the blushing lizard and taking a dramatic pull from his beer bottle. It's enough to lighten the mood.

After that, Dabi's forced to admit it's a decent game. There's not much he hasn't done sexually or criminally, and since those are the two topics everyone focuses on, he finds himself getting hammered faster than usual. It's a good thing too—his buzz makes it easier to ignore the look you and Shigaraki exchange when Jin announces that he's never tried watersports, easier to pretend his gut isn't twisting at the knowing smirk on your leader's face as he raises his beer bottle to drink and you follow suit.

That particular moment makes it all the more surprising when, on your next turn, you hide an embarrassed face behind your hand and announce that you've never taken it in the ass.

Dabi can't stop thinking about it the rest of the night. Obsessing over it, and the idea of being your first, your only, even if only in some less than conventional way. The thing is, it's downright tame in comparison to a lot of what you two get up to, so barely even kinky that it's almost impossible to believe you've never tried it. Sure, you've never done it together, but he'd just figured neither of you were all that into it, since it hadn't come up when you were doing lewd shit to each other.

That kind of sex is fine from his perspective, but only fine. He doesn't actively seek it out because in his mind nothing beats the feel of being balls-deep in a warm pussy, but that doesn't mean he hasn't done it. He's hooked up with plenty of girls that were into it and has always been happy to oblige; hell, he's even taken it more than once, on account of the fact that when it comes to the bedroom he's willing to try anything twice.

But doing it with you? Well, that thought sticks. The two of you finally go to bed and Dabi's so turned on by the idea of your virgin ass that he can't help testing the waters, prodding teasingly at that tight hole with one spit-slicked finger until you're squirming away and whining. He doesn't manage to convince you right then, but he makes those puppy dog eyes that are far more effective than they have any right to be, and you agree to give it a go in the future.

"Not here," you specify, the words fuzzy on your drunken tongue. "Someplace nicer, with a real bed." You already have your reservations, and you certainly don't relish the idea of undertaking that particular venture now, on a worn mattress in this falling apart building, with its paper-thin walls and complete lack of hot water. Between your booze-fueled haze and the seeming interminability of the League's poverty, you mostly forget about that casual promise by the following morning.

But Dabi doesn't. He picks up a small bottle of lube the next day and carries it around in his pocket shamelessly, a little reminder that he has something to look forward to besides roasting that prick Endeavor, and he strokes himself off to the idea more than he's proud to admit as he waits for the League to move on to better things. He can be patient, when he needs to be.

That patience takes a toll though, and the minute the League settles into their new digs in Re-Destro's sprawling villa, where there's actually privacy and clean, comfortable beds, Dabi shows up at your door with a cheshire grin and every intention of finally getting something from you that's just for him.

You grimace when you remember that promise, try briefly to talk him out of it even, but he isn't so easily dissuaded. It's made all the harder by the fact that you can't give him a specific reason why you've never tried it, beyond that it seems uncomfortable and you hadn't particularly enjoyed the couple instances when you'd allowed someone to slip a finger or two in there.

"C'mon, baby girl," Dabi coos, his breath hot in your ear as he pins you to the wall, working two unnaturally warm fingers into your cunt. "I'll make sure it's good for you. Be gentle, get you nice and warmed up first, all that sweet shit."

It really is unfair how persuasive he can be when he fixes those pleading turquoise eyes on you. The way the pads of his fingers are curling just right deep inside isn't helping either, and he teases you like that until you give in to his cajoling, though you still insist on waiting a couple nights so that you can do your research and make sure you're entirely prepared. Dabi demonstrates his appreciation by burying his face in your cunt and not surfacing for air until you've come three times and are begging for a break.

When the night finally arrives, Dabi's feeling positively giddy. He slips into your bedroom with a bottle of wine and a couple glasses he's brought, a little something to help you relax because he's a gentleman when he wants to be. It should be good booze too—he lifted it from Re-Destro's private stash, and he's certain baldy doesn't drink anything that costs less than ¥30,000. Of course, Re-Destro doesn't love sharing either, but the uptight prick is too scared of Shigaraki to complain about anything the League does. They all take advantage of that, because they can and because it's fun to watch him bite his tongue when they piss him off.

You don't make it easy for Dabi to focus on pouring the drinks though, not when you're reclining in that armchair by the window, freshly showered and fidgeting nervously. He was half-erect before he got here from just thinking about what he was going to do to you, and the sight of you acting like you're some blushing virgin spurs him all the way to rock-hard. By the time your glasses are close to empty, he's straining uncomfortably in his pants, and can't fight back his impatience any longer.

"What do you think, doll?" he murmurs, setting his glass to the side and standing up, shrugging his jacket off before leaning down to ghost his lips over your neck. "You ready to move this to the bed?"

The way you chew at your lower lip anxiously before nodding makes his dick throb.

You empty your glass with one final, large swallow, your heart racing as you rise. You know it's stupid—you and Dabi have fucked countless times and a lot of it hasn't exactly been vanilla—but it's been a long time since you've actually tried anything new. His obvious excitement doesn't help either, paradoxically; it leaves you fretting about what will happen if you're somehow bad at this, or if you can't take it and have to stop. You've never really worried about disappointing him before, but now the thought weighs acutely on your mind.

It's with halting steps that you approach the bed and then, when you can't realistically drag your feet any longer, you finally tug the nightgown you're wearing off your shoulders, letting it fall to the floor to reveal what's underneath.

"Damn, baby girl," Dabi breathes, looking you up and down. You'd figured that since it was a special occasion you might as well dress up, donning a strappy bra and panties. They're little more than elaborate, crisscrossing pieces of lace, all white since he'd seemed so fixated on this pseudo-innocent, first-time act. His reaction doesn't disappoint, eyes lighting up as he stares at you hungrily.

You let yourself fall back on the bed, nestling against the many pillows. The look on his face has your stomach fluttering, and the wine has helped you to relax a bit despite your nerves, a pleasant warmth spreading throughout your body. It's joined by a different kind of heat when you feel the mattress dip beneath Dabi's weight as he positions himself over you, one knee resting between your thighs, just barely brushing against your center, a hint of what's to come.

"You look so good I could just eat you up," Dabi whispers hotly against your ear before tracing his lips over your jaw. Even though he wants to take his time, let himself savor this, it's taking every ounce of patience he has to keep the promise he made to get you worked up and ready for him, to not to tear those pretty bits of satin and lace off and have his way with you right then.

You whine eagerly when his mouth slants hungrily over yours, savoring the feel of those mismatched lips, the way the rough skin of the bottom one contrasts so deliciously with the top. Hot hands run over your sides as the kiss deepens, your tongues tangling together, and you moan against him.

When you finally break for air, Dabi moves his lips to your throat, his tongue lapping at your pulse before he sinks his teeth into you. He loves to mark you up, loves making sure everyone can see that you're indisputably his, and it's even hotter now that he knows he's going to fuck you in a way no one else has. You're shivering beneath him as he works, your hand tugging insistently at his hair, and Dabi lets out a low, throaty growl.

"Guess I'm not the only one who's eager, huh?"

Your hips tilt in response, pressing needily into his firm thigh, and Dabi can feel the skin on his cheeks straining against his staples as he grins. He traces one hand up over your ribs, cupping at your supple breasts, teasing your hardening nipple through the flimsy fabric of your bra. Those deft fingers work under the seam of your lingerie as he shifts his weight, increasing the pressure against your center while he pinches and tugs at the peaks of your breasts until you're whimpering, spreading slick along his leg even through your thin panties.

Dabi pulls away abruptly, rolling onto his back and tugging at you to change positions, shaking his head when you move to mount his hips.

"Come here, baby girl," he says, his tongue tracing over his bottom lip. "Like I said, I wanna eat you up."

The promise in those words sends a bolt of heat straight through your core as he guides you to straddle his face, hot breath tickling your inner thighs. One calloused thumb brushes your clit lightly through your underwear, blue eyes sparkling when your breath hitches at that soft touch. When he pulls that useless fabric to the side and runs his tongue over your already-damp slit, you shudder.

Dabi lets out a pleased groan at your reaction and gets to work more earnestly, lapping at your sensitive nub, licking and sucking until you're moaning and only then shifting a little so that he can lap at your insides, that same rough thumb replacing the pressure of his tongue on your clit. It strokes firm circles as he buries that hot, wet muscle inside you, the metal barbell there teasing your inner walls as you grind involuntarily against it. You can't help but whine when he withdraws it, but that disappointment is quickly replaced by you startling as that same wet muscle extends further back to tease at your puckered entrance.

"A-ah, Dabi, wait," you protest, your face heating up self-consciously almost at once.

Dabi pauses, shifting just enough to keep his reply from being muffled as one warm hand runs reassuringly up your thigh. "I don't think I can help myself, doll," he says, his slick-coated lips splitting into a wide grin, "you just taste too good."

That heat in your face worsens as he dives back in, not even waiting for you to respond before he's flexing his tongue to poke at that tight ring of muscle. You still try to squirm away, feeling unprepared for this. You hadn't even considered it among the possible activities were volunteering to participate in, but Dabi is holding you firmly in place with the hand not working at your clit, and when another whine of protest escapes you, it's weaker than the first. The foreign sensation of his tongue against your neglected hole has you hyperaware of the press of his thumb at your apex, and you can feel tension building in your core even as you writhe in embarrassment.

It's as though he knows, too, and you suppose maybe he does; after all, he's the one who's done this before. He thrusts his tongue a little deeper, rolling your clit between two hot fingers with enough pressure to cut off any further protests. A long moan is the only sound you can muster as you spill over the edge, your thighs clenching around his head and your hips jerking shakily as you ride out your climax with his tongue still buried obscenely in your rear.

Dabi's face is covered in your juices by the time he slides from between your thighs, and he wipes it away carelessly with one arm as he repositions you again, pinning you on your back and wasting no time peeling away your now-soaked panties. He grins at the sight of your glistening folds and swollen clit before stripping off most of his own clothes, kicking them unceremoniously to the side and relaxing between your legs, kissing at your still-trembling thighs.

He teases at your sensitive cunt with his fingers, coating them in your juices as you whimper. "Ready for a little more?" he asks, and you nod despite the fact that your cheeks are still burning from before and your stomach is knotting with nerves.

"Just...go slow, okay?"

"Of course, baby girl," he promises, "I told you I'd take good care of you." With that, he starts to work you open, dipping one finger into your tight hole just until he reaches the first knuckle, working it in and out slowly. His other hand toys at your clit, stroking and rolling that puffy nub again, making you mewl.

Dabi waits until you're relaxed before trying any more, pulling away from you just long enough to dig the lube from the pocket of his discarded pants, coating his fingers with it. He works that lone finger deeper this time, in and out until it's buried to the last knuckle.

The sensation is strange, but not entirely unpleasant; even if you think you'd rather have that finger curling in your cunt, the slight stretch is still adding to the faint throb already growing inside you, the one that worsens when his thumb returns to your apex.

"Fuck, you're so tight," Dabi growls when one well-placed stroke of his thumb has you clenching lightly around his finger. He ruts his hips against the sheets, trying vainly to find some relief for his aching member, but it's not enough—he needs to feel you, needs the vice-like grip clutching his fingers to be wrapped around his cock, and he needs it soon.

You feel him withdraw to add more lube, and then he's fingering you again, adding another digit to stretch you wider. It comes with a stab of discomfort when he forces his way past the second knuckle, and you reflexively try to pull back. "Dabi, that's too much."

He abandons his soothing attentions to your clit, one warm palm pressing you tight against the mattress to keep you in place, stroking soothingly at your hip. His breath tickles over your inner thigh as he chuckles softly. "If you can't take this, how are you ever gonna take me, hmm?" he says teasingly. "You're doing great, baby, just relax."

You will yourself to unclench, trying to picture Dabi's satisfied face once you're taking him, that adoring look he sometimes gives you, the one that you relish. Your efforts are only marginally effective, but Dabi keeps pushing deeper, fucking you slowly but insistently with those fingers, and when you don't complain again, his thumb returns to caressing your sex.

"That's a good girl." Dabi picks up the pace, cursing under his breath. "You're doing so good."

You're wriggling against his hand now, trying to increase the friction at your center, not quite minding the foreign sensation of his fingers and the uncanny fullness they bring so much now that there's heat thrumming in your core. "Y-yeah, like that," you pant encouragingly, and Dabi grins.

"That doing it for you?" he purrs. "Think you can take more?"

You start to shake your head—the stretch now feels like all you can handle—but Dabi's already adding a third slick finger, shoving it in with less restraint than before. You feel more than discomfort this time when three knuckles breach your asshole, and it quickly dampens the arousal that had been steadily building. "Dabi, slow down," you gasp.

"Aw, are you sure you can't handle it?" His blue eyes meet yours, pupils blown wide with arousal as he looks you over with the hungry gaze. "'Cause if I'm being honest, it feels like you're trying to suck me in. Like this greedy little hole wants to get fucked."

The huskiness of his voice sends a shiver down your spine, even as another whine of discomfort escapes you. For just a second his expression darkens slightly, but then he's slowing his movements, twisting his fingers instead of thrusting them in and out.

"Better?" he asks, and you think you catch an edge of impatience in his voice.

It is better though, a little at least, enough that you can focus on the way your cunt flutters every time his thumb strokes over your clit. So you just nod; it's not like this wasn't bound to be a little unpleasant at points, right?

Dabi's smile stretches wider, his thumb working faster. A mewl slips from between your lips and Dabi takes that as encouragement, his fingers resuming their persistent thrusts. It's still uncomfortable, though not quite as bad as when he started, and your teeth sink into your lower lip to bite back your complaints. You let your eyes fall closed instead, trying to focus on his attentions to your hooded nub, on the heat that's pooling in your lower belly. You're inching towards another release, and you let a hand lift to your breast, tweaking at the pebbled flesh of one nipple to help yourself along.

"D-dabi, I'm close," you stammer, your hips bucking against his hand.

"Yeah?" His movements speed up, his voice breathy and excited. "Do it, baby girl. Come for me and then I'm gonna fuck this tight little ass of yours."

You swallow hard, trying not to dwell on those words for now—you can tell you've loosened up more, tolerating the jab of his fingers, but his cock is substantially larger than those, all too intimidating. Thankfully, it's not hard to remain distracted, to focus only on your approaching peak.

Dabi can feel that orgasm rip through you when it hits, your asshole clenching around his fingers as you keen, and it's then that he reaches the limits of his patience. He needs you now, needs the thrill of burying himself in your tight ass and claiming you for his own, of reaching his own release deep inside and then watching his seed spill out afterwards. What a satisfying sight that will be.

He scrambles up from between your legs to catch your lips with his, fumbling his boxers off as his tongue invades your mouth. When he pulls away, his eyes are bright, needy. "Ready for me?" he asks.

You're not, not really, but you can see the fervor in his eyes, hear the urgency in his voice, and you convince yourself that he won't be able to work you open much more with his fingers no matter what. Your agreement doesn't matter anyway—he's already rolling you onto your side and slotting his chest against your back, his straining erection poking at the cleft between your thighs.

"Like this?" you ask, surprised by the choice of position.

"Just like this," he pants in your ear. His teeth nibble at your lobe as he slicks his cock generously with lube. "Want you spooned against me so I can see those cute faces you make, feel you squirming when you take me."

And fuck, when he slips one hand back down to finger your asshole one last time, it doesn't disappoint—your body ripples against him when that invasion catches you off guard, and he can see the way your lips part obscenely as you gasp at his touch. His fingers abandon your tight hole almost as quickly as they'd entered, and then Dabi is aligning himself with your entrance, using the last of his restraint not to slam his hips forward and bury himself inside with a single thrust.

You can feel the spongy head of his glans, and the slick coolness of the ring that adorns his tip, prodding at your rear. One of his arms worms its way under your side, his hand groping distractedly at your breasts as you tense in anticipation.

"Relax, baby girl," he murmurs, but he doesn't wait for you to even try. He's already slipping in, moving slowly until he encounters resistance an inch or so inside, and then pausing.

He has to struggle to keep his composure. Even like this, with not even the full head of his cock in your ass, his balls are tightening, just the thought of what he's doing nearly enough to send him over the brink. He waits until he's sure that won't happen and then starts moving, pushing insistently to work you open around his length with shallow thrusts.

"A-ah, Dabi, g-go easy," you stutter, already squirming. You can feel your body resisting the intrusion, so much larger than his fingers, and it aches slightly every time he tries to breach that inner ring.

"I am, baby, don't worry. I'll take care of you." His cheek is nuzzling against yours, his lips kissing and sucking wherever he can reach, but his motions don't change at all even as he murmurs so sweetly. He only slings one arm over your hips, toying lazily at your clit. That attention helps you relax, helps distract you a little, but it's not enough to prepare you for when he drives himself in further, finally surging past that taut band of muscle.

The invasion brings a sharp pain, one that has you crying out. Tears prick at the corners of your eyes, your body reflexively contorting to try and escape the cause of that hurt, but his arms tighten around you, holding you in place as he continues to work himself deeper with every thrust.

"Dabi, that hurts." Your words are sharper this time as each stroke sends another unpleasant throb through your overstretched hole, but his only response is to plunge the fingers rubbing at your clit into your dripping cunt.

"Shh, you're doing great." He curls his fingers, stroking against that spongy spot deep inside. It makes you writhe, but that does nothing to address the pain between your legs as he fucks you.

"Dabi, don't, that's not helping, I—"

"It's okay, baby girl, you're taking me so well," Dabi coos. You'll adjust, he knows you will—you're usually up for anything, of course you can take this. And fuck, there's no way he can stop now, not when it's even better than he'd imagined—hotter and softer, your pillowy walls enveloping his length every time he plunges into you, the exquisite tightness of your entrance massaging his shaft with each thrust.

"I'm not— I don't— I don't want to do this anymore." You can hear the desperate edge in your voice now. Your heart is racing and there's a cold sweat forming on your skin as tears of pain and confusion start to leak down your cheeks. "Dabi, stop."

"Shh, shh, you're fine. You—fuck—you feel so amazing. 'S never been this good with anyone else, fuck."

"I don't care, I don't want this." You can't understand what's happening, why he's not listening. You twist your head to look at him, pleading with your eyes, but he's barely even focusing on you. His blue eyes are glazed and half-lidded as his lips wander over your shoulders and your neck, all the while murmuring those useless reassurances against your skin. You're thrashing now, your feet scrambling for purchase on the sheets as you try frantically to pull away, but he keeps his tight grip on you, one of his legs hooking around your own to hold you in place. "Dabi, I said stop!"

He shushes you again, rutting into you harshly, and a choked sob escapes you when he bottoms out inside you, his hips flush against your backside as you struggle against him. You feel sick to your stomach, and it only worsens when he pulls out until nothing but his tip remains, then drives himself back in with one agonizingly rough thrust.

You keep begging, pleading, wracking your brain and trying every past safe word you can recall, but he only continues to pound into you, his breathing erratic as he pants in your ear. "It's okay, baby. You're taking my cock like such a good girl. You're—ngh—making me feel so good."

The ache between your legs is diminishing slightly as you adjust to his girth, your body entirely unconcerned with whether you want that or not. He's still fingering your sopping cunt too, his palm grinding against your oversensitive clit with each plunge of his long digits, the lewd squelching sound of those attentions mingling with the sharp slap of his hips against your ass as he fucks you.

"You like this?" he asks, but you know he's not really asking. "You like knowing I'm the only one? That I'm making you mine, just mine, just like how it should be?"

"Dabi, stop. Please stop." Your appeals are feeble now, far more for yourself than for him as you continue to utter them between quiet sobs. Dabi's somewhere far away, awash in the tight heat of your ass and the satisfaction of finally staking his claim on you, aware of your supplications but not hearing them, not really.

You slump, still sobbing, and let him take what he wants. His attentions to your cunt have a coil tightening in your gut, but when your climax hits it's perfunctory and mechanical, no real pleasure to be found even as your hips jerk and your holes spasm, a joyless whine passing from your lips.

No real pleasure for you, at least. But fuck, the feel of you squeezing around his cock as you come is what Dabi has been waiting for, your insides massaging his length as though desperate for him to decorate your walls with his cum. It's a gift he's glad to grant—he rocks his hips more urgently, keeping his thrusts shallow now so that he's sure to get it all deep inside.

"Fuck," he groans against your neck. "Gonna make me come, baby girl. That what you want? Want me to fill you up?" You shake your head, but his movements are already growing spurtive and erratic, his grunts louder and throatier, and then you can feel his cock jerking inside you, a hot rush of cum flooding your guts.

Dabi doesn't stop then, either, keeps fucking his seed into you until he's softening, not quite able to work himself in and out of your tight, abused hole any longer, and only then does he finally pull out, a dribble of cum leaking obscenely down your thigh.

You're sniffling, drawing shaky breaths, and you try to pull away the moment his arms relax around you. They only tighten again, his lips planting soft kisses along your temple.

"Shh," he murmurs. The sound of his shushing makes you want to scream. One hand lifts to wipe at the tears on your cheeks. "You were so good, baby girl, there's no need to cry. You were fucking incredible." He means it too, doesn't think he's ever come so hard in his life as he did now, making you his.

Dabi can't wait to do it again.

[worldserasingandcreatinginmymind]

Unfaithful | Part Five

Series Summary: After dreaming of your perfect wedding since you were a little girl the big day is almost here. But after meeting the priest you start to question your relationship.

Pairing: Hot Priest x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 2005

Warnings: angst, lots of angst, drunk priest, bad friend 

A/N: Please be warned there will be some themes of toxic/abusive relationship in this series. Also, spelling and grammar is not my strongest skill so please be kind :)

Part Four | Masterlist

- - - - -

I can’t sleep. 

Half excited for my hen party, and half nervous for the talk I know I need to have with the priest. 

I spend hours lying awake imagining how the conversation will go, all the possible outcomes. I must of drifted off some time in the early hours because I'm awakened at 9am by a text from Daniel: 

‘You looked so peaceful when I left for work I didn’t want to disturb you. But I just realised that since I’m going straight out with the boys for my stag do later, the next time we see each other I’ll be in my suit and you’ll be in your dress walking down the aisle to me. I can’t wait. Enjoy the fundraiser and have and wonderful hen party tonight. I love you Mrs Davison xxx’

The text makes me smile, until I read the last sentence. ‘Mrs Davison’ send a panic rushing through me. This suddenly all feels very real. I’m getting married tomorrow. I take a deep breath. It’s fine. I'm fine. This is just pre-wedding nerves. Completely normal. 

I take another deep breath and get out of bed. 

— — — — 

“Ah Y/N! You’re here” Pam greets me at the church doors and swiftly ushers me around the side of the building towards the church garden where the fundraiser has already started “We’ve got an emergency” 

“What do you mean?” I reply as she leads me through crowds of people till we reach a table lined with various numbered prizes. 

“Ruth was supposed to be running the raffle but she’s just called to say she can’t make it, ate something bad she thinks and now she can’t stop throwing up.” 

I grimace slightly at the story but mostly I’m just wondering what any of this has to do with me…

“So if you wouldn’t mind taking over and running it for us that would be wonderful. Tickets are a pound each. Thank you!” 

Before I can say anything she’s gone, rushing off to check the youth band are ready for their performance. I stand bewildered for a moment, looking around at the crowds until I spot the priest who is currently admiring cupcakes at the bakery stand and laughing about something. Suddenly he turns and locks eyes with me. His face drops, he stares at me like a deer in headlights. I give him a small smile, which he doesn’t return. My heart hurts. 

“Excuse me, how much is a ticket?” Someone asks, forcing me to turn my attention away

“One pound” 

“Can I get five please” 

By the time I complete the transaction and look back to the bakery stand the priest is gone. I scan the crowd again, but there’s no sign of him. 

An hour later I still don't know where he is. What I do know is I really need the loo. I ask the person on the stall next to me to watch the table while I head inside in search of the toilets, but when I enter the building I bump into someone. 

It’s him. 

“What are you doing here?” He asks

“Just trying to find the ladies room” 

“I mean here, at this stupid event”

“Pam didn’t really give me a choice” I explain and he just looks irritated “I’m sorry, I didn’t realise I wasn’t welcome”

“I just wasn’t expecting to see you here today”

“Well here I am” I say dryly and there’s an awkward silence. I take a deep breath before I speak again “I actually wanted to talk to you… about what happened-”

“Nothing happened. We agreed”

“But it did happen, Father, we need to talk about it”

“Oh, fuck you calling me Father like it doesn’t turn you on just to say it”

My mouth drops open, dumbfounded by his comment. I shake my head slightly as I try and think of something to say.

“I know what you’ve been doing” he continues

“Please, enlighten me because I have no idea what you're talking about!”

“Playing the sweet, innocent girl. Making me like you, fall for you. Making me think that you needed saving from the douchebag boyfriend… Was any of it real? Was anything you said actually true?” 

“I never lied to you” I almost whisper as he gets really close to my face, moving my hair off my cheek to study what’s left of the burn scars.

“Did he ever really hurt you? Or did you just make that up so I’d feel sorry for you”

“Fuck you!” I say through gritted teeth as I start to walk away, tears threatening to spill from my eyes. I stop and look back at him “You’re the one who told me you loved me, remember? That was you! If you regret it, that’s fine. There’s no need to be such a dick about it” 

I turn and leave again, his final words repeating through my head as I walk away. 

As I walk home I can’t stop the tears from coming as I replay the conversation in my head over and over again. Why is he being like this? How can he be so loving to me one day and so nasty a few days later? What changed?

I get home and go straight to bed. I wrap myself up in the duvet and try to push everything out of my mind so I can get in a quick nap before I have to get ready for my hen party. The last thing I feel like doing right now is going out celebrating, but I know there’s no way I could cancel.

Thank God there’s going to be alcohol there. 

— — — — 

“Bride’s turn! Truth or Dare?”

“Truth” I say happily, finishing off my third glass of wine. 

“Okay… if you could have a free pass and choose any celebrity, who would you sleep with?”

The girls start whooping and laughing, but before I can even answer Tiffany cuts in.

“She won’t answer that, she’s far too vanilla”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I ask, slightly offended by her tone.

“Don't start Tiff” Eva rolls her eyes

“I’m not starting anything, I’m just telling the truth. She’s only ever had one boyfriend and she’s marrying him tomorrow. She lost her virginity to him and I bet you anything that they schedule the days in the week when they’ll go to bed and have boring missionary sex. Vanilla! She’s never even kissed another guy…”

Maybe it’s the alcohol in my system or the way she’s talking about me like I’m not here, but I can feel myself getting more and more irritated.

“Actually I have!” I speak up and she laughs.

“A kiss from your dad doesn’t count”

The room falls silent as everyone stops to watch my reaction. I can see from Tiffany’s face she instantly regrets her words. She knows how much I miss my dad, but it’s too late to take it back now.  

“Well done Tiff” I hear Eva say as I walk away from the group. I head outside and take a deep breath of the fresh air. Looking up at the stars I find myself thinking of my parents and wishing they were here. 

“I’m sorry” Tiffany’s voice makes me jump, I hadn’t realised she’d followed me outside and was now leaning against the wall next to me “that was a low blow, I shouldn’t have said that”

“It doesn’t matter” I mutter quietly 

“It does! I should have thought about what I was saying… I just forgot”

“I forget too. So often I pick up my phone to call him and realise he won’t be on the other end. I would give anything for them to be here right now”

“I know, come here” she pulls me in for a hug, squeezing me tightly before leaning away to look me in the face “I’m sorry I called you vanilla”

“Maybe I am. You were right, I’ve only ever been with Daniel. Until this week he was the only man I’d ever kissed!”

“This week?” She pulls away completely and my heart drops as I realise what I’ve just said “You kissed someone? Who?”

“No I- I didn’t mean to say that” 

“Its okay, you can tell me. We have been friends forever haven’t we?”

“I guess… but you can’t tell the others!”

“I won’t”

“Promise me Tiff!”

“I promise!”

I take a breath. 

“I kissed the priest” 

“What priest?” She replies blankly.

“THE Priest! The one who’s doing the wedding tomorrow!”

She stares at me blankly for a moment as she processes what I’ve just told her. I can almost see the cogs turning in her brain and suddenly the penny drops.

“OH MY GOD!”

“I know”

“Y/N!” 

“I know!”

“Does Daniel know?”

“Of course not”

“You have to tell him!”

“Are you insane?! He’d go mad!”

“He deserves to know that his so called fiancé has been cheating on him”

“I haven’t been cheating on him, it was just one stupid drunken kiss”

“If it was ‘just a kiss’ why haven’t you told him?”  

“Because-” I think about telling her the truth. That if I told him he’d get angry and most likely hurt me. But I don’t. “I just can’t”

“If you don’t, I will” 

“No, Tiff please you can’t”

“Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t go there now and tell him” she says and stares at me as I silently stare back at her. When she begins to walk away I panic.

“Because he hurts me!” I finally admit, and she looks back at me confused “That’s why I’ve been too scared to tell him”

“No” she shakes her head “No he wouldn’t, he swore he’d never be like his dad”

“And he’s not. He’s not as bad as his father was, he just gets angry and sometimes he takes it out on me.” I explain but she’s still shaking her head in disbelief “a few days ago I had to go to the hospital because he burnt me” I pull the collar of my dress down to expose the burn scars on my neck “this is what’s left of him throwing boiling hot coffee in my face”

She looks from my neck to my face, sadness in her eyes as she processes everything. After a few moments she finally speaks. 

“I won’t tell him” 

“Thank you!” I breathe a sigh of relief 

“But I also won’t be at the wedding tomorrow” 

“Tiff, you're my maid of honour! My best friend! I need you”

“I can’t pretend to be happy for you, pretend that I agree with this marriage. I’m sorry”

“Tiff! Tiffany!” I call after her but she continues to walk away, hailing a passing taxi and disappearing into the night. 

“Y/N? What happened? Where’s Tiff?” Eva asks, poking her head out the door and looking around. 

“She’s gone” I say simply, turning to look at her “Guess I need a new maid of honour” 

— — — — 

The following morning goes by in a blur. The girls, minus Tiffany, stayed at my house over night while Daniel stayed at his mate’s house. I was awakened by the sounds of the girls running upstairs, screaming excitedly that “today is the day” as they jumped into my bed. 

Once they’d calmed down we had all gone downstairs for a light breakfast before the girls began getting ready. Maybe it’s the constant sound of laughing and chatting, or maybe its the slight hangover from the night before but I suddenly feel the need to get out. I excuse myself and head outside to get some air, taking a seat on the front step of my house. I take a few deep breaths and allow my head to drop into my hands, my elbows propped up on my knees. A few seconds later I hear footsteps up the driveway and look up to see the priest. 

“Hi” I say, unable to hide the confusion in my voice. 

“can we talk?” 

Final Chapter

[dahliax]

Sokka hc sfw & nsfw (water bender fem reader)

bc is 4:20 am and I just smoked some of dat medical and feeling very flirty lmao (and our bb Sokka needs more content) (also we gonna pretend suki don’t exsist even tho I love her)

(^me rn tbh)

Sfw

So you meet the gaang like completely by accident

Just chillin bending some water (somewhere in the earth kingdom) and Sokka is the first to see you stopping completely in his tracks amazed by your beauty

Soon you notice and turn around smirking at him

“You know. It’s rude to stare.” You say and snap him out of it

“Yeah Sokka why don’t you marry her while you’re at it” Katara is soooo cheeky when it comes to Sokka liking people. She loves to make him embarrassed

After some introductions and friendly conversation the rest of the gaang knew you’d fit right in and would definitely sweep Sokka straight off his feet (as if you haven’t already let’s be honest)

You offer them a place to stay on their travels and they accept

Katara is super super excited for another girl to talk to so she’s one of the first people to suggest you joining the group

They’re so exhausted by the time you get to your cottage that they pass out immediately

And you’re just like “damn ok”

After a day or two Sokka FINALLY builds up the courage to actually have a conversation with you one on one since the whole staring thing

“Hey... I’m sorry for staring at you before”

“What? Sokka that’s been forgiven for how long”

“Really?! I thought you hated me”

After this he became a lil more comfortable but still very blushy and timid around you because you’re literally his dream girl

Sokka really wanted to tell you how he feels before he left (not wanting to lose another amazing girl) but nobody told him they were planning to ask you to join the group anyways

But they seen this as an opportunity to encourage him to tell you so they didn’t tell him till after he told you

While out shopping at the market he sees this really good looking restaurant and he thinks, “this is my chance!”

“H-hey y/n... would you want to try out that restaurant together?” And you’re ecstatic bc you also have a big crush on him

He’s so so so awkward it’s almost painful dropping silverware and spilling water all over the table. He was a complete mess

“I guess I should just come right out and say it,” he says confusing you

“Ireallyreallylikeyouandidontwanttoleavewithouttellingyouimsorryifyoudontfeelthesameqa”

And all you did was laugh which made him mortified and then you grabbed his shirt and pulled him in for a kiss completely catching him off guard

SOKKA IS AN ABSOLUTE CUDDLE BUG

If you’re around he has to be near you/touching you bc he’s protective and he really likes showing you how much he cares

“Baby girl” IS HIS FAV

You help him with his insecurities about bending ITS SO CUTE

Nsfw

I’m a big simp for virgin boys don’t JUDGE ME OK 😭💗

There ain’t much action going on at home with the water tribe so the most experienced Sokka is is in kissing

In the beginning he would shudder everytime you touched him ANYWHERE while making out but once he got used to it you figured it was time to take your relationship further 

I have boob guy vibes from Sokka big or small he just loves them. So whenever you had a lower cut shirt on he could barely speak “babe. My eyes are up here” “I know! I’m just distracted” “obviously”

Once he gets more comfortable he’s so grabby all the time he just can’t get enough of you

The first time you have sex he’s a MESS. He has no idea what to do. So you lead him

He’s definitely more on the sub side but if you want him to be more rough he has no problem switching it up

His fav position is when you ride so he can admire you entirely

He cums in like 3 seconds. You’re too much for him

But don’t worry as time goes on I just know in my heart Sokka is a lil kinky boi

King of giving head after some guidance and practice

It’s literally his fav thing to do because he loves being in full control of your pleasure since you like to TEASE TF OUT OF HIM

He was a little scared about you giving him head bc he’s afraid he was small but I’ll tell you right now this boy got a big dick and you can’t change my mind

He made you stop when you gaged bc he thought he hurt you but you just looked up at him and said “sweetheart. You just have a big dick” and he could’ve literally died right there

Jealous Sokka sex definitely hits different. it’s when he’s most dominant and even tho vanilla sex is very awesome seeing Sokka finally take charge and be a little rough takes you to another planet

He could literally cum from the sound of 1 moan coming from your mouth

In conclusion. Sokka is a sex god.

This isn’t my best work but I’m really trying to get practice in so I’m more confident in future posts. I hope you guys liked this one! Send me some requests!! 💗💗

[neo-ct23]

Friends With Benefits + WayV

WayV is actually my ult so I thought I’d write this and tbh I’m really proud of this one

Kun

Only does FWB if either of you is tense & needs a way to de-stress.

Definitely not the one to initiate it & laughs when you propose the idea to him but when he realizes you’re serious he’s all 😳😳

You make rules about it but most of them get broken (“don’t” catch feelings, etc)

He’s Kun tho, you can’t not catch feels

Eventually he’d start treating you like his gf

Getting really affectionate and even getting jealous when another member is talking to you

He starts treating you like his gf to the point where youll meet someone and they’ll ask how long you’ve been dating

The sex would be great tho

I just know this man is packing

It’s big I know it is like BIG big

Depending on the day the sex could be rough or it could be tender and romantic

Probably the cheesy rom com thing happens where you drift apart and start dating someone else & your new s/o meets Kun and decides to break up with you because “you’re still in love with him”

Of course you’re like “pfft no way” but then you think about it and yes. He’s the one you wanted to be with

Anyways this turned fluffy I’m sorry

Lucas

Oh my god

Definitely starts at a party in a game of seven minutes in heaven

You’re pretty drunk but you end up giving him a hand job in the closet

You thought he was drunk too but apparently it was his turn to be WayV’s designated driver

Most of the group is passed out at the party or got a ride from someone else

Yangyang is the only one who still needs a ride so Lucas offers you a lift home too

He’s in the back seat and you’re in the front seat next to Lucas

You keep glancing over at him and he keeps smiling when you do. His eyes are on the road but he can see you with his peripheral vision

Yangyang is wondering why things are so awkward between you two but doesn’t say a thing

He walks you to your door and as you’re standing there you feel a surge of confidence sweep over you

You tell him “You know, you might have to come inside sometime”

He sighs. “Not tonight, I gotta take the kid home” he says, but he slowly leans in and so do you and he gives you a slow and tender kiss.

You could swear you heard yelling from his car parked nearby

Things probably escalate quickly

He’d start sending you snaps and texts about what he was doing and pictures of him shirtless in bed

You weren’t sure what to say to those so one day you go out and buy something sexy and take some pictures in it and send those in return

To which he just responds “on my way”

He shows up at your door holding up a condom and the second you realize what it is your lips are straight on his

He normally loves foreplay but skips it because the anticipation is way too much for him

He definitely ran like 6 red lights on his way to you

The next morning he tells the rest of the group

You probably drift apart when he starts to travel for work, but even then, when he comes back he always finds himself coming back to you

And when Hendery points that out to him, he realizes he’s been crazy about you for years

Hendery

Now this one would be hot as hell

It all starts at a party where you know nobody

But then you spot Hendery and you’re like “thank God.”

You guys talk for a couple minutes before you mention that you kind of want to go home or at least go somewhere

He offers to take you somewhere to just get away from everything

You’re sitting in his car together, sort of just talking about things that went down at the party and you thank him for spending time with you

There’s a bit of an awkward pause before your lips are on his and your hands are all over each other

In the midst of all this making out, you mutter “can we—“ to which he mutters “I know a place. Now buckle up, I gotta drive there.”

You buckle up and he rests one of his hands, the one not on the steering wheel of course, on your thigh, gently rubbing it as he drives to a nearby lookout point

You glance at the other cars and it’s too dark to see what’s going on in them, but it’s clear to you that this is a hookup spot

“This is what you wanted, right?”

You go searching through the glove compartment and take out a condom before leaving your side of the car and heading over to his

He didn’t notice you grabbing the condom, so he thinks he got the wrong message and messed everything up by driving you here. Muttering “ah, shit Hendery,” to himself

He sees you come around to his side of the car, he’s very confused

“Wait—“ he says

You just hold up the condom to show him and next thing you know, you’re straddled in his lap having sex

The next couple of days you thought would be awkward, but it wasn’t really

He’d treat you like a friend around the boys but whenever he got you alone

Like you’re literally fuck buddies at this point

Texts you really dirty things during the day and when the other members are in the room

Shit like “you gave me the best blowjob of my life last night. Wanna try and top it?”

Also sends you dirty pics

Likes to fuck you when the other members are home

Except one time, he waits until they’re gone because he doesn’t want either if you to have to hold back

Turns out they are home tho

They’re all in the living room and Ten is about to enter their room when he hears what’s going on

His face gets all red and he calls a Yangyang over who comes over and realizes what’s going on

“Ten, what’s up?” Asks Lucas

“Shh! Hendery‘a getting laid.”

They all go and sit down

Later on that night they’re still sitting in the living room trying not to disturb you guys but wanting to know who the hell he’s sleeping with while Hendery’s passed out in his bed

You still don’t know anyone’s home, so you just leave his room and of course the first thing you see when you open the door is 6 boys sitting in the living room, looking up at you with their jaws dropped.

Ten

Mr We just touching I don’t do no cuffin’

Yeah I definitely think this would start out with you & him being super close, not like best friends but in that arena

And one time you’re just hanging out & oops he kisses you

Escalates fast af

Like next thing you know you’re giving him a BJ in his dorm when the rest of the group is out

Except it turns out Lucas is home and heard it all

You leave his room and see him in the living room playing with Bella

And he’s all smug like “you guys enjoyed yourselves 😏”

Ten doesn’t even know that Lucas knows

Relationship definitely includes a lot of oral and hand stuff

I get a feeling ten’s really into both giving and receiving

Anyways this relationship would completely blur the lines between friendship and sex

Like your normal friendly hangouts would get heated if nobody else was around

Yangyang

Whelp

This one would be an adventure

You’re probably in a friend group with him and know him pretty well

You propose the idea to him, and his eyes bulge out of his head in amazement

I swear Yangyang lives to be corrupted

He’s not even that innocent I think he’s just a kinky kind of guy who comes off as vanilla but really just wants to get corrupted

Like if you’d be a top and/or dom for him that would be his favorite thing

You could give him a look and he’d get hard

Anyways I think it would start with him telling you that he’s taking a break from dating

There’s an awkward silence and he mentions he’s a virgin

Things get a little awkward but when he starts asking about what girls like, you tell him

This leads to a shy kiss, followed by an awkward silence before he just says “do that again” and you end up hooking up

The next morning you tell him not to tell anyone

Of course he can’t help but tell the boys

Xiaojun

Didn’t realize how long this one was getting lol

Completely unspoken, like actually don’t say a word about it to him or it’s ruined

You’ve probably never spoken to him outside the bedroom

Probably in the same friend group but never really talked to him so it’s more like you have mutual friends

Started out with a kiss

How did it end up like this?

It was only a kiss, it was only a kiss

Ok but in all seriousness you’d probably be at a party. You’re pretty drunk and he comes over & offers you a drink

You’re like “what’s this” before you smell it and realize he’s sober & it’s water

You realize he’s trying to take care of you and end up talking with him off in a corner

You talk about how you’ve never really talked to him before

There’s a short awkward silence. He starts to lean in, you quickly pick up on his move and end up making out in the corner

You run into him a couple of times by accident and always end up finding a secluded space where you make out

Somehow Ten finds out you’ve been sleeping with one of his roommates

“It’s Lucas isn’t it??” He says rolling his eyes. You tell him no and he keeps guessing until he guesses Xiaojun last and you respond with silence.

One time at dinner you’re sitting with the whole group enjoying a meal and Ten hints that you’ve been seeing someone

Xiaojun is sitting next to you and whispers a little too loudly, “Did you tell Ten??”

Yangyang who is sitting next to him hears what he said and looks over to see the intense way you’re looking at each other and his face turns to a smirk

He doesn’t say anything but later that night when everyone else has gone to bed, Yangyang walks into the kitchen and turns on the light to find you making out yet again

Slowly the rest of the group catches on and realizes

Xiaojun quickly catches feelings, like definitely can’t get you out of his head after your first time

The way Hendery finds out is walking in on the rest of the group is talking about how he should tell you he likes you

He’s like “wait what’s going on?” And Yangyang just goes “Junnie here has been sleeping with y/n and now has feelings for them”

Winwin

I apologize in advance this is gonna be another soft one

You’re FWB but not in the way most people are

Like you haven’t slept together, you just make out sometimes and he treats you like his s/o when the other members aren’t around

He does little things when the other members are in the room like holds your hand under the dining table and rests his hand on your thigh

The only reason you’re FWB and not actually dating is because you’re both too nervous to ask the other what you are, in fear of ruining what you have

One day you’re just like “fuck it” and ask him what you guys are

“We haven’t talked about it, but I guess it’s up to both of us.”

There’s a bit of an awkward silence but then you proceed to tell him he’s basically treated you like his girl/boyfriend.

He sighs. “I like you. I do.”

You take his hand and intertwine your fingers with his

“Sicheng, are you saying you wanna be my boyfriend?”

He’s still stunned that this conversation is even happening. “I think so,” he says.

There’s another awkward pause before you say “So Sicheng, will you be my boyfrien—“

He doesn’t even let you finish your question. He quickly mumbles a “yes” before passionately kissing you, cupping your face in his hands

[themfchase]

blindfold (5)

Jeon Jungkook x reader

‒ blindfold. (m) ✎  [9k words]

genre: smut, nsfw, college!au, contract!au, light smut, and light fluff?

warnings: smut, oral, fingering, dirty talk, multiple orgasms, full body orgasm, dry humping, angst Strange things happen all the time, just like what you’re being offered by a strange tall man in a quiet coffee shop near campus. Strangers that you can’t see and only hear, and a strange boy that barely speaks but seems to be everywhere aren’t that common, on the other hand. But for some reason... You’re really keen on strange things. A/N: So, I wrote this dying of sleep, not going to lie. It’s more of a filler chapter than anything else before the last part next week. This tells the story from Jungkook’s POV, most scenes are the same, but slightly different, actually, a lot different. So, don’t refrain from reading even if it seems the same. Also, there might be a few errors so, please, don’t judge me HAHAHAHAH I’ll fix them all when I wake up. Please enjoy, have fun, and don’t refrain from reblogging, liking and sending me messages. Ok. 

part 1. part 2.  part 3. part 4. part 6. masterlist. 

Three months ago. Jungkook’s Point of View.  The first time I saw her was when I was pledging for the fraternity. She had swollen eyes, hair waving while she walked down the stairs. All I could think of was, “Why is this beautiful girl crying.” And when my eyes wandered further up, I saw the boy leaned against the stairs, no bother whatsoever on his face, just a calm look of relief. She didn’t see me, I don’t think she was paying attention to anything to be completely honest. All I know is that my eyes followed her out the front door, the smell that followed of a light Vanilla.  “Sorry about that, but so, what do you think?” Namjoon, the leader of the fraternity, was in front of me, still trying to convince me to pledge. I looked out the door again and back up at the boy.  “I’ll stay.” Was all I said, no emotion to my voice.  The second time I saw her was at a party about a month after that at another fraternity. I was forcing myself to interact with people just like my psychologist had recommended, but my anxiety was already giving in. It wasn’t until I saw her seated outside on the bench, body struggling to stay up from how drunk she was, that I saw myself walking. First, I just stood behind her, she was counting something and I was curious; she heard me shuffle on the grass and turned her head. She smiled, a drunken and sweet smile.  “Hello, stranger.” She tried to speak.  I couldn’t answer her, I couldn’t look her in those lidded drunken eyes. So I was quiet. She still noticed.  “Are you drunk too? I know, I kind of drank on an empty stomach because I skipped lunch today to watch a lecture.” She continued speaking. “It wasn’t on my schedule and neither was this party, but I think I might have lost track of things a little.” She looked forward again. Involuntarily, I walked a little more and sat down beside her.  “I’m Y/N, by the way, who are you?” She asked. Biting on my lower lip, I looked down at my feet, closing my eyes, I could smell her, she smelled of alcohol and Vanilla.  “I’m nobody,” I answered her, heart beating loud in my chest.  “That’s an odd name to give a child.” She said in a serious tone and I chuckled. I even surprised myself. Looking up, I finally took in all of her.  The way her lips were slightly swollen, her eyes shining and hazy because of the alcohol. Her cheeks flushed and her hair falling onto her shoulder.  “I’m really drunk, nobody.”  It was noticeable, and a sudden worry came over me.  “How are you getting home?” I asked, and she looked at me, eyes meeting.  I swallowed hard but didn’t look away.  “I’m waiting for my friend, she’s inside making out with someone, so I have to wait, I’m too drunk to walk.” She pointed into the frat house.  “I’ll take you home.” I offered and she bit on her lower lip.  It came like a punch to my gut, the sudden urge to watch her whimper, squirm and moan beneath me. I couldn’t really make sense of it, but it was here.  “I don’t really know you.” She stated, and I nodded, looking away for the first time.  She took my silence as an ‘ok’ and we both went quiet for a while.  “But I’m really tired, so...” She started and I pulled out my phone, texting Seokjin, my head of security, lawyer and counselor. “Can you take me home?” She asked in a low, innocent voice.  I felt all the hairs in my body stand, all at once, her voice, the way she had looked when she asked, I could feel my body going hot, I really wanted this girl.  We waited in silence for the car to pull up. They were always around, so it didn’t take long.  “Oh, you must have called a fancy Uber, that wasn’t necessary.” We both got up and when she took the first step she tripped, body coming straight into mine and on impulse I held her up, arms wrapped around her body. She looked up at me, eyes unable to focus.  “I’m so sorry.” She said, and I saw as her eyes got heavier, closing while she remained in my arms.  “Fuck.” I cursed when I noticed she had fallen asleep. My security came out of the car, and I raised a hand, stopping him from coming further. “I got her.”  Wrapping a hand under her knees, I picked her up in my arms, her purse dangling down as I made my way to the car.  I sat her down at the edge, closing the door and going around to open the other side.  “Where are we going to, Sir?” He asked, and I went quiet. She never gave me her address.  I grabbed her purse and searched for her phone, quickly noticing it didn’t have a code I just tapped on the navigation app and saw the saved addresses, one was titled “Home” and it was near the Frat so I gave out that one, I knew it was invasive, and looking at her sleeping form before deciding to go through her phone, I clicked on the calendar app. She was very organized, almost as organized as I was, she had even put in an entry on the lunch she had missed, deciding to not go through her pictures to maintain her privacy I looked at the apps she had, no dating apps, no games, no social media, it was mostly organizing apps, calculator, texts and notes. As the car drove off, her body moved and fell to the side, her head resting on my lap, and she made herself comfortable. My body tensed, I hadn’t been this close to another female in a while, but for some reason I didn’t want her to get up, to move, I wanted her there. The whole way to her address I looked down at her, she looked peaceful, she was so beautiful and I could smell the Vanilla stronger, it was a perfect smell for her. Y/N... That was her name. When the car stopped, I lingered for a while, watching her on my lap, I could never have a girl like this wanting me, I could never be able to look her in the eyes and tell her how beautiful she was. No, all I could ever do is watch from afar, but I felt somewhat comfortable with her.  “Y/N...” I called out her name. It felt like I’ve always known it. She didn’t move. Lifting my hand, I slowly touched her head, fingers gently coming down to brush her hair. She whimpered into the touch, body moving slightly, and I pulled my hand away. “Y/N, we’re here,” I said, and she blinked her eyes, sitting up slowly and looking around.  Saying nothing, she grabbed her purse and opened the door, I quickly took her phone and texted myself before deleting the text.  “Hey, your phone,” I said, and she whipped her head back, not looking at me and grabbing the item from my hand before getting out and shutting it.  I watched as she made her way into her building on struggling legs, disappearing from my sight moments after.  The third time, I didn’t really see her, but heard about her.  It was at the frat house; I had come down to grab some coffee and go back to my room when I heard her name.  “But Y/N was ok, I guess.” I heard the voice say, and I slowly made my way to the living room watching Jimin, Hoseok and Yoongi drinking beers and talking. “I mean, I know that I was good for her.” He stated condescendingly.  I scoffed, rolling my eyes and the three heads whipped in my direction.  “Jungkook! Hey, join us.” Hoseok said, and I shook my head.  “Whatever you say, kid, I’m just here giving tips on how to make girls go crazy,” Yoongi smirked at the boys who laughed.  “Oh? And how exactly do you do that?” Yes, I was irritated. No, I didn’t know why.   “I fuck them hard.” Was all he said, and I took a few steps in, taking a sip from my coffee.  Let me be clear about one thing. I was no virgin, quite the contrary, I had been with my fair share of women, but I had one obsession and that was... Making women cum. I had two different women in the past that I solely saw to make them cum, nothing more, I usually got off to just that and I was satisfied. So, I knew what women felt like, sounded like, and looked like when they came.  “So, when these women cum...” I started and Jimin and Hoseok looked at each other, finding my sudden interest strange. “How do you notice?”  “They moan.” Yoongi said with ‘duh’ look on his face.  My eyebrows shot up. This was indeed amusing.  “Oh, and that’s it?” I asked, and the boy was quiet.  “Y/N used to scream when she came.” He lifted an eyebrow.  The sudden mention of her name made things slightly differently.  “Only screamed?” I asked again.  “Well, yeah, what else would she do?” He asked, irritated, and it was my turn to smirk. Something foreign to me.  “They shake. They clench. They choke on their moans, body convulsing and back arching, their eyes roll back and their mouths open, they squeeze so hard and get wetter and wetter. You can hear their heartbeat increase, you can see the flush on their cheeks, that... That is what else they’re supposed to do.” I finished. Jimin’s and Hoseok's mouths were slack and Yoongi’s looked irritated. “It’s quite an art, you should try it sometime.” I said before taking another sip of my coffee and walking away, back into my room.  I felt suddenly turned on, the idea of making her do all those things ― cumming ― for me, just for me. It was... It was tempting and was making me a lot more turned on than I expected.  The fourth time I saw her was one day before I couldn’t really take it any longer, I had to have her. She was in line a coffee shop, I stood right behind her, she looked back but never lingered, ‘she didn’t recognize me.’ I said to myself. No, she was too drunk that night to remember who I was, but she was here and I was so close to her again. Leaning in a little, I opened my mouth, but nothing came out. ‘Shit’ I cursed mentally, ‘Why can’t you stop being a pussy for once?’ I asked myself. As soon as her smell lingered around me I found myself immediately turned on. It wasn’t just the smell, it was what I associated it with. I wanted her, I needed her. Fuck, I would go wild if I couldn’t touch her. As we made our way down the line, she ordered her coffee and walked away, I was left trying to control my breathing as I got my phone.  “Seokjin, we need to talk.” Was all I said as I made my way out the door and looked for her, just seeing the back of her body walking away from me.  I soon realized that the vanilla was from a body wash when I saw Yoongi leave with it lingering on him. I would not allow him to smell like her, no. So I stole the bottle she most likely forgot there. I didn’t like him, not one bit. At every given opportunity he was telling others how annoying she was annoying, how she was a control freak. I for one didn’t want her name even to leave his lips and found myself glaring at him or scoffing. She deserved better; she deserved to be treated like a queen, and I was going to give her that. My way. 

I knew there was a big chance she’d say no.  But it was the only way I could do it. It was the only way I thought of persuading her, and the only way I could do it without feeling anxious.  “So, how did it go?” I looked back at Seokjin while he sat down in front of me in my office. He looked down, clearly upset.  “She walked away.” He said, and I bit my lower lip, shaking my head.  “Fuck.” I cursed.  “You know, there are other ways of doing this, Jungkook, maybe just ask her out.” He suggested, and I shook my head.  “You know I can’t do that.” I argued. “I’m not normal Seokjin, I can’t even continue a conversation without feeling like I’m going to pass out, I can’t look people in the eyes without feeling a need to run.” I admitted.  “You’re talking to me just fine, Jungkook.” He stated.  “Yeah, but I’m comfortable with you, I trust you and know you, I know you won’t judge me.” I lowered my head. “Fuck, I really wanted her.”  He got up and tapped me on the back before leaving.  I had given up, locking myself in my room again and avoiding people like I always did. But then I saw her again, leaning against the wall at the frat party. My heart was beating violently in my chest. Maybe Seokjin was right, maybe I should just ask her out. I started to make my way down the stairs when I saw Yoongi approach her and she smiled, making me stop midway. I watched as they talked, watched as they made their way outside, I looked away when they kissed, feeling irritation spread across my body and I shook my head.  I heard when they went into his room, heard her fake moans from my room, heard every single word from their argument, and when I heard her getting her things I opened my door and watched when she left. Her back against the door. How could she allow herself to be hurt like that, how could she sleep with such a bad lover and a bad person?  I closed my door, unable to look at her any longer without feeling the urge to talk to her, and I made my way to bed, laying down and sighing.  How come she had such an effect on me? I barely knew her. It was a stupid teenage crush, that’s what it was.  I got lost in my thoughts when a few minutes later my phone rang.  “What?” I answered when I saw Seokjin’s name.  “She said yes.” He sounded excited over the phone.  “Wait, what are you talking about?” I asked.  “Y/N... She just called, said she’ll do it, I’m meeting her tomorrow at the coffee shop.” He explained.  Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit.  Holy shit.  I tried to control my breathing, my heart pounding in my chest.  “Ok... Make sure she knows enough, don’t tell her anything about me.” I said before hanging up.  This was it, this was the first step.  She had signed the contract. Now, all she needed to do was come. In more ways than one. I sat at the hotel bar; I had a perfect view of the lobby, water in hand and foot bouncing up and down anxiously. I already had gotten the text saying she was on her way, and I was going crazy. Maybe I should back out. Maybe I should just call it a day and say something came up. I shook my head.  But then... There she was. In her pretty black dress, looking flustered and nervous herself, her cheeks slightly red and it hit me how bad I wanted them to be red for me, how bad I wanted to make her shake. I watched as she made her way up, waiting another agonizing forty minutes before I got up and made my way to the room.  I stood at the door. What if she hadn’t put on the blindfold? What if she hadn’t followed the instructions? I bit on my lower lip and tried to breathe.  “Fuck it.” I cursed under my breath.  As I unlocked the door, I slowly made my way into the room and sure enough, there she was, fully bare for me and with the blindfold on.  I felt myself get instantly hard at the sight. Her body was perfect. Her skin looked soft, and she was shaking slightly. I tried to control my own body as I watched her.  “Get up.” I said with more control over my voice than I expected.  She obeyed. Such a good girl, fuck.  I walked closer to her, her smell invading my nostrils and making it all too hard to not just bury myself in her. “Did you follow the instructions?” I asked, seeing the way her hair was shining.  She answered, and I swallowed hard. She had addressed me as Sir. Just the way I asked, and it sounded perfect coming from her lips. I wanted to make her cum multiple times; I wanted to hear her, see her, do it all to her, and I wanted to ruin any other man who tried to touch her in the future.   And I did, each time my cock twitched harder in my pants, each time I felt like I was going to say ‘fuck it’ and fuck her right there, and when she started begging me to fuck her, I had to hold on to my sanity, it was very much close to running away, instead I ignored it and continued.  I was proud of myself, but I was more addicted to the way her body answered to me, to the way she sounded when she came - and I assure it was nothing like that night with Yoongi - I was addicted to her smell, to her taste, to the way her body convulsed when she came, the way she trembled and begged for me. I was completely addicted to her. And when I was done, I watched as she could barely even move. I gave her water, my erection hurting inside my pants. It was a rare recurrence, I’d usually feel satisfied without having to cum myself, but with her it was painful.  I saw her threaten to take off the blindfold and my body stiffened.  “Don’t”. I said, getting dressed and trying to be quick.  “You… You’re not going to fuck me?” She asked innocently, her voice weak. I took a deep breath. “No. My only wish was to give you pleasure. I told you.” I said, and I watched as her body slowly curled, biting on my lower lip. “Yes, sir.” Was all she answered.  I didn’t know what to say, I could see how upset she was. I would see how the realization of it all suddenly came into her. Jesus, fuck. She was supposed to leave happy, not upset, I slowly felt my own anxiety start to creep into me, fuck, I needed to leave.  “You’re free to stay if you’d like, if not, your driver will be waiting out front for you whenever you decide to leave, the rest of your payment will be transferred first thing in the morning.” Was all I said before storming out.  I made my way down to the bar again, sitting and asking for a drink. I was hoping she would stay; I was hoping she would be ok with it.  But I was wrong.  She came running into the lobby, eyes red and full of tears as she dropped the key and ran to the car.  Fuck... Fuck, if I didn’t do anything I wouldn’t see her again.  I took out my phone and texted her.  I hope you enjoyed tonight. And all I could do was hope to see her again.  When I saw her in class, I was scared.  My whole body feeling tense, my anxiety creeping into me. I couldn’t keep my eyes away from her as she sat down, Namjoon, my frat president sitting a few moments later next to her.  What if she recognized me? Jesus, I needed to breathe. Her eyes met mine, and I felt a shock go through my body, the memory of her whimpering self under me, her body so mine. I felt myself getting hard in the middle of class. I looked back at the front. What was happening to me? I was getting aroused just by looking at her.  I tried my best to pay attention to class, but I couldn’t, it wasn’t as if I needed to, but not being able to was fucking with my head.  It got even worse when I heard my name being called from my room later in the day and when I was making my way down I saw her in the kitchen. Her eyes again, those eyes meeting mine, and she shyly looked away.  I heard Hoseok’s voice and walked in the kitchen, stopping but a few feet away from her.  I barely acknowledged the boys in the room, trying hard to control my breathing. When Namjoon introduced them, she extended her hand, and I just looked at it.  If I touched her, would I break? If I felt her skin against mine again, would I lose control? She threatened to pull away, and I grabbed her hand, shaking it firmly.  I looked at her friend and back down.  “Jungkook isn’t a man of many words,” Hoseok said.  It didn’t bother me that people noticed I was quiet, but it bothered when they made fun of me. And worse, in front of her now. She looked at me and my eyes met hers again; It was so weird how I never felt like looking away; I wanted to get lost in them.  “It’s ok to not like to speak, sometimes words are too distracting.” She defended me. I felt like smiling, but instead, I just looked at her, I was probably eating her alive, but I didn’t care. I just wanted to look at her.  “Hey, Kook, why don’t you take Y/N to the back garden and try to organize the ribbons for the fair, you know it’s mandatory, so chop chop,” Namjoon said. Fuck, stay alone with her in the back? Jesus, I was fucked.  We were silent for a while, I could barely hold myself when I noticed she smelled like the body wash. She was going to be the death of me. 

“Uhm… So… Are you excited for the fair?” She started talking, I could answer her without her noticing the uneasiness to my voice. “I’m sorry, I… I just wanted to talk, bad day.” She focuses on the ribbons, my heart beating loud in my chest. I needed to say something. “Why?” My voice came out almost a whisper. I took a mental note to speak low. She might recognize my voice.  She shrugged. “I guess… Boy trouble?” I nodded. Boy trouble? Who? “I met someone… It’s messing with my head.” I noticed as she looked down, swallowing hard.  “What did he do?” I tried speaking up, curious.  “I… Well… He asked me to do something, and I did… A-and even though I was the one that came out with the most… Uhm… Satisfaction… it still feels like I did something wrong.” She said in a weak voice.  She was talking about me. It was me. I looked at her, noticing the way she messed with the ribbons nervously. Fuck, I wanted to know more. After the way she left, I just wanted to make sure she’d come back. “Was it something good?” I kept looking at her, wanting to see her every reaction.  “It was a-amazing… It was… Unforgettable.” She bit her lower lip, nervously. Fuck. I could just throw her against that wall and stuff my fingers into her like I did and watch her cum undone on them. I know I can. I know she liked it.  “S-sorry… Have we met before?” She asked, and it was enough to bring me back. Did she recognize me?  “No.” I tried saying in an icy voice.   She nodded and resumed her task.   There was nothing else I could say, I was scared she had recognized me. So I was silent, trying my best to remain calm while I worked on the ribbons with her. I was saved by her friend that came calling after her and she stopped and walked towards the door, giving me a weak smile before saying.  “Well, it was nice meeting you, guess I’ll see you around… J-Jungkook.” A shock wave went through my body when she said my name. I wanted her to say it again. I wanted her to moan it, scream it, say it over and over until it sounded just like a useless word. She shook her head and walked away and as soon as she was out of sight I let out the breath I was holding.  “Jesus, fuck,” I whispered, looking at the door where she had been seconds ago.  She would be the death of me, I needed to see her again; I needed to hear her again.  Later that night I paced back and forth in my room, looking at my work phone as I pondered if I should call her or not. What if she recognized my voice from today? What if she hung up? I was so insecure about her but so addicted, so I took the phone in my hand and called, eyes shut closed as I sat down on the chair in front of my desk. 

“Hello?”  I was silent, trying to make sure my voice came out secure and firm.  “Hello, sweetheart,” I said. The nickname rolled out perfectly. She was quiet for a while, making me hesitant.  “Hello, Sir.” She answered, her voice came out weak and choked out, making my body instantly react. “Did you have fun yesterday?” I asked. I wanted to know more, I wanted to see if she had liked it, but she went silent and I couldn’t help it any longer. “I want to see you again,” I admitted. Clutching onto the chair and letting my head fall down, I could feel the way my body was earning for her, my heart so wild inside my chest. “Why?” I was quiet. What should I say? Should I be explicit, should I not, I just needed to see her again. “I… I want you to touch me again.” My eyes shot open, her whiny voice saying she wanted me to touch her and I couldn’t help but curse under my breath a low ‘fuck.’ “You drive me crazy,” I admitted again. She did, she drove me completely crazy. I controlled my breathing, sitting on the chair properly and tapping my knee with my free hand.  “I’ll arrange for us to meet again next week,” I said seriously. I wanted her to know I was dedicated to it. “Wait for the text.”  “Yes, Sir.” She almost whined on the phone, making me twitch inside my clothes.  “Good girl, go to bed.” And then she whined. Fuck!  I hung up. Looking at the phone and down to my pants.  “She’s gonna kill me,” I said out loud, talking myself. 

I knew she would be at the party, Namjoon had commented when he got off the phone with her friend, who now I knew was Malia. And when I saw her in that dress, I knew I was going to need to drink to be sure I’d get through it without wanting to push her into a bathroom and fuck her brains out. I watched as she made herself comfortable, smiling at everyone, and then her eyes landed on me, the familiar wave going through my body.  No, I couldn’t look at her today, not today, not when she was looking like that and making me feel like this.  I walked away, preferring to stay in the kitchen instead. It wasn’t too long when I saw her get up and start dancing, her perfect body swaying so beautifully. But it soon was covered by a body, a male body, and it made me clench my teeth. My body moved on its own, stopping right behind the boy and tapping his shoulders. He looked back and said nothing when he saw the look on my face, both his hands coming up in a sign of surrender as he slowly backed away from her, I made my way to talk to her, but she pressed her body against mine and I was lost for words. She did that again and again, and I swallowed and tried to maintain control. When she turned around and saw me, she looked flushed from the dancing; I was close to animalistic at this point, the alcohol getting me braver than usual.  “Jungkook… Dance with me.” She said after drinking down and throwing the cup. Her arms came to rest around my neck and my entire body tensed at the contact. I slowly rested my hand on her waist, should I dance? I didn’t really know what to do, I wasn’t one to dance. But slowly her body got closer, her breasts grazing my chest, and I felt how hard her nipples were underneath the fabric, I wanted to curse out. She smirked, was she teasing me? Little brat.  She started grinding on me and all I did was watch and squeeze every time I felt her slightly grind on my now fully erect length. I heard her small whimpers. Oh, she was turned on, what a little slut. Slowly, I positioned my leg between her own, allowing her to get some friction, I knew that’s what she wanted, I knew she was just so desperate to cum. And I knew I was the only one that could do it to her, me... Jungkook. She moaned, and I was suddenly reminded that she didn’t know it was me, she had no idea I was the guy that had made her cum again and again. The reality hit me and I felt anxious, stepping away from her and making my way to my room in a rush.  Leaning against my door, I breathed, mouth going dry.  What the fuck was wrong with me? I had her; she was right there. Why did I have to be such a coward? I shook my head and sat down on the floor, my erection bothering me. I really needed her. I needed her desperately. I didn’t hesitate to take the phone and text her; it was an idea.  “I want to see you, now.” I waited for an answer, and soon my phone vibrated.  “I’m not home.” Fuck, maybe she didn’t want to. Fuck. “Can he pick me up here?”  The second text came, and it was all I needed to call Seokjin from the other phone and have him arrange two cars. One for her and one for me.  “Ten minutes, don’t be late. Room 55. Don’t bother washing up.”  I waited for him to confirm she was off before I made my way to the car, blindfold in my hand.  The whole drive there I was in agony, just waiting to get my hands on her.  Getting in the room and hearing her quickly try to explain herself made me smile.  “I- I didn’t find the blindfold, but my eyes are c-closed” I walked slowly in her direction, her naked body more firm this time, only shaking slightly, I assumed of anticipation as I slowly wrapped it around her eyes, she relaxed slightly.  “Such an obedient girl.” I praised her, my voice very much full of my intentions with her. “Up.” I demanded, and she obeyed, standing. Her body was a sin, how could such a woman exist, I couldn’t help but admire her.  “So beautiful,” I whispered.  I knew exactly what I wanted to do to her. Taking off my clothes, I watched as she stood still and quiet. Tying her hands and sitting on the bed, I slowly guided her all the way to the other end, sitting with my back on the bed rest.  “Come here.” And she moved, me guiding her to straddle my thigh. “Ride me, sweetheart,” I asked, moving her hips gently with my hand.  “Y-yes, sir.” She obliged, rocking her hips slowly, biting her lower lip. I felt her wetness smudge all over me and couldn’t believe it was just from dancing earlier.  “Fuck, you’re already soaking wet, sweetheart.” I let her know, feeling my cock start to leak down my shaft. “Have you been a dirty girl?” I felt as she clenched. She liked dirty talk.  “I… I danced with a boy, Sir.” She admitted, her cheeks going red before she moaned at the feeling of her clit rubbing against my thigh. “A boy? Was he the one that got you wet like this?” I asked, amused at how she was talking about me. I remembered the way she had said my name the day before and how badly I wanted to make her say it again.  “What’s his name, sweetheart?” She started rocking her hips faster, stronger against my thigh.  “J-Jung…” She moaned, I knew she was already close to cumming, fuck, I wanted her to cum so bad. “Oh god…” She whined out.  “Huh? I didn’t get that, baby, say it again.” I teased, watching her whimper before I clenched my muscle to make her speak.  “Jungkook! Oh fuck… His name is Jungkook.” She screamed out. I closed my eyes, I could feel her clenching again and again around nothing, the way she had said my name was all I wanted to hear. I could do it all day. Hear her scream my name and make her cum, I could barely control myself when I wrapped a hand around her throat, gripping slightly. The way her mouth opened was enough to know she enjoyed it. My dirty whore.  “Cum on my thigh like the dirty slut you are for me.” And her body obeyed. She came hard on me, convulsing and clenching violently, her juices coming out to get me even more dirty with her fluids. I helped her ride it out, and she rested her forehead on me, breathing in.  My hand left her hips to caress her back, going up and down, and I watched as she shivered and lifted her own head to rest it on my forehead, breath still uneasy. I let her, still slightly hazy from the party and extremely turned on.  “You were drinking alcohol…” She said, probably smelling the alcohol on my breath and I smirked, such a sassy girl.  “I could say the same to you, sweetheart,” I remembered the way she had chugged down her drink earlier. We went silent. It felt good having her like this. In my arms, quiet while she calmed down.  “Sir?” I heard her call, and all I did was hum, holding her tired body still on top of me.   “I.. I want to kiss you.” She said in almost a whisper.  What? She wanted to kiss me? But if we kissed, eventually she would want to take off the blindfold and I would have to look at her, to these things with her while looking into her eyes. I couldn’t. No, I wasn’t ready yet. I watched as she blushed and bit on her lower lip.  “I’m sorry.” I guided her off my body, getting up and starting to get dressed. I needed to leave. “W-wait… ” She pleaded, and I stopped, too nervous to look at her. “Don’t leave… Please?” I wanted to. I wanted to stay and wanted to kiss her, but I couldn’t, I... She knew who I was now, she would never look at me the same way if she knew it was me. All I did was finish getting dressed and leave. I knew that was a dick thing to do, but I had to. I had to leave. And as I made my way to the lobby, I already texted her in hopes there wasn’t a way she’d cancel on me.

“Next Friday, 19h, Room 55.” 

I don’t know what had gotten into me when I stopped in front of her and asked her to get coffee. All I knew is that I needed to make her like me first, not the person she couldn’t see.  And as we sat across from each other at the coffee shop, we talked. It was the first time in a long time that I was able to speak a little, to look at her and not feel a need to run, a need to hide. It was... Comforting. It was safe.  I watched her talk about Yoongi and all I felt was anger. He was a dick. She deserved better.  All I knew was that I wanted to do this more often, talk to her, meet with her in normal circumstances, so... I offered to tutor her. She seemed happy about it. And when she left, I couldn’t help but ask the driver to park in front of her building. I waited while I watched her silhouette walk in the room. Shit, I looked like a stalker, so I shook my head and called her. 

“Hello?” She answered in a calm voice.  “Still up, sweetheart?” I asked, looking up at the window. “As you can tell… Sir.” She sounded irritated, bratty, defying.  “Oh, getting brave, I see.” I was amused. “Well, maybe I’m tired of being left in the dark.” Smart. I breathed in, I really didn’t know how to answer to that. “Are you looking forward to tomorrow?” Was what I said instead, avoiding her comment.  “Depends…” She started. “Are you not going to fuck me?” Fuck... This little slut. I bit my lower lip, trying to hold back the urge to talk dirty.   “Am I not pleasing you enough, sweetheart?” I asked, my brow raising.  “Oh no, Sir, don’t get me wrong…” Her voice came out velvety “I just really wanted a chance to clench and cum around your hard cock.” My mouth went slack. The idea enough was making him get turned on. “Fuck… ” I said nice and loud this time. “You’re getting dirty, sweetheart”.  “Maybe I was always dirty, Sir.” She teased.  “I’ll see you tomorrow.” I needed to end the conversation, I needed to get back to my room and jerk off like I had done all the times I had seen her. “Goodnight”.  She hung up, and I looked up at her window for a few more moments before I finally texted her.  See you tomorrow, sweetheart.  I watched her make her way up to the room again, all the anticipation from yesterday making me want to just run up to her and start making out with her in that elevator. But I stayed calm, waited and made my way up after a while, and as expected, there she was, fully naked for me, damn did I love to see her like this.  “Hello, sweetheart.” I greeted her, walking slowly into the room and stopping in front of her a few feet away. 

“Hello… Sir.” She said low.  “My favorite thing in the world… Is walking into this room and seeing you bare for me. All because of me and just for me.” I confessed my arousal was so eminent in my voice.  I waited, I wanted to see more of her reactions; I wanted to punish her for being a brat to me.  “I-I’m wet for you too.” She admitted in a shy voice. My breath left my lungs at the confession, swallowing hard as I felt my mouth dry. “Show me,” I demanded.  As she leaned back, slowly opening her legs, I could see her glistening folds, so wet from absolutely nothing, wet for me and just for me.  I groaned in a low voice. I wanted to taste her; I wanted to drink all of her.  “Such a pretty cunt on a pretty girl.” I was already losing my mind, my voice so full of lust.  “It’s yours, Sir,” She said, my sense of possessiveness taking over me.  “Oh.. Mine? Is that so?” I asked in a condescending manner, just wanting to see how I could be further indulged.  “A-All yours to touch, kiss, eat… F-fuck.” I closed my eyes, I could feel myself leaking inside my own pants now, I could feel that I was just as affected by her as she was by me. I stood still, quiet, eyes closed as I tried to maintain my self-control.  “You were very bratty on the phone yesterday, sweetheart.” I teased her, watching as she opened her mouth to speak, but I went on.   “You want me to fuck you so bad, don’t you?” She nodded, biting her lower lip with the idea of being filled up with him. Such a dirty whore.  “So… Fucking… Desperate.” I said, feeling the aching throb between my legs.   “My cock is throbbing, did you know that?” I decided to tease her back, voice so low and full of lust. I slowly unzipped my pants and took myself out, and as expected I was leaking and throbbing, so desperate to fill her up, but I had to maintain control. “Ah… I’m leaking. There’s a clear stripe of pre-cum leaking down my cock, sweetheart.” I watched as she clenched, her core leaking further down, she was getting even more turned on with the idea of me touching myself, I wanted to get her losing her mind, just like she made me.  “You’re just so desperate to get fucked right, aren’t you? So desperate for me so slowly shove my cock inside that tight cunt of yours, filling you up to the brim… Feel my balls slap against that ass again and again while I fuck you hard and fast, am I right?” She whined, more juices spilling out of her. “Look at that, look at the needy cunt you have, sweetheart, so wet… I bet it’s starting to hurt from all the throbbing.”  I said.  I watched as she slowly shook in front of me, the clear agony vibrating through her whole body. I wanted her to beg. I wanted her to get so desperate I would just touch her and she would cum.  I slowly started to jerk myself off, the feeling so overwhelming I could cum at any moment, so I squeezed myself, breath leaving my mouth shaky. This was what she did to me, she drove me crazy; she made me lose all the self-control I thought I had, the one I had all this time before her.  “S-sir… Please.” Sou begged, starting to move her hips slightly. The sigh was just a sin.  “Fuck… Look at you, such a mess, I bet you’d look so beautiful stuffed with my cock, feeling my cum inside of you hot, feeling my cum fill you up… A-Ah… Fuck.” I started jerking faster, the feeling so good, the sight so good. “Maybe I’d fuck that throat of yours, stuff that pretty mouth, watch you gag and drool all over my hard cock.” I was slowly losing my composer, I was almost cumming, almost moaning out her name and cumming all over myself.  “P-please Sir, please… Fuck, please.” She begged with a whiney voice, of course, she wanted me to touch her, she wanted me to do what I did best and turn her body into a shaking mess for me.  “Beg harder for me, baby, come on, you’re a good fucking slut.” I asked, watching her hips shake in a frenetic manner.  “Sir, please, I’m such a slut for you… My pussy is hurting so bad, please, please touch me, please make me cum. I’m all yours, Sir, my.. My body is just yours… Only you can make me cum, fuck… Please, please!” All I did was jerk faster, I was so close to cumming and her movements followed, her circling her hips over nothing. There was no friction, nothing at all.  “Such a dirty whore, talking dirty to me on the phone, I thought you were a good girl, sweetheart, just the way I like them, good and obedient, my little slut.” I groaned, my voice was laced with his pleasure.  “I-I’m sorry, Sir, I’m so sorry…” What I saw before my eyes felt like a miracle, I stopped my hand to watch as her breath became a mess, her face flushed, eyebrows meeting in the middle, core clenching violently around nothing and wet arousal leaking out of her as she shook and convulsed with a whole body orgasm, completely untouched. It took me a few seconds to register while I watched her fall back, trying to catch her breath.  “Did… Did you just cum?” I asked, and she was silent, I got up, walking towards her. “Answer me.”  She nodded.  “Holy shit… I didn’t even touch you.” I said in shock, I watched as her back arched, she wanted more, she still wanted me to touch her.  “Sir… Please touch me, I’ll be a good girl… I promise.” Her voice was weak, nothing but a whine.   I did, I grazed her cheeks first and watched as she melted into my hand. Shaking my head at how completely at her mercy I was, I went down.  “Fuck… You’re so beautiful.” I whispered more to myself than to her.  “I want to kiss your whole body.” I admitted with a soft voice and she whined.  “Please do…” She asked.  I didn’t hesitate, kissing her body softly. I wanted to worship her, show her how she should be treated, show her what she deserved, I wanted to let her feel my lips all over her skin. Her hands came to rest on my shoulders and I remembered I didn’t tie them, tensing for I second I thought, there was no real harm to it, so I relaxed again and continued.  As I came up again, I grazed my nose against hers. She was everything I ever wanted and still; I felt like I had only half of her.  “Kiss me.”  And I did, I kissed her and it was the worst and best decision I ever made.  From that moment on I knew that I wanted her more than this, but I was too much of a coward to say something or make a decision, instead, I got carried away, my lust speaking louder when I almost allowed myself to fuck her, like this, the first time. No, she was more than this. She needed to know. 

A lot had happened after that, going to coffee again, telling her about my social anxiety, asking her out and finally... Having the best date ever just to have her suddenly want to leave. All my insecurities rushed in as I saw her leave the car and walk to her apartment without even looking back.  What had I done wrong? Was it me? Was that the problem? She seemed like she liked me; I thought... I tried calling her, but nothing. I texted and nothing. I went to my apartment instead of the frat house. I needed to be alone. I went up with the hoodie clutched in my hand, sitting on the couch and just remembering every single detail of the night. Fuck, I was in love with her. I wanted to be with her, love her, make her happy. Was she in love with me without knowing I was me? Was that what she had meant in the coffee shop? I looked down at the hoodie in my hand. It was ruined, just like us.  All I could wish for was a chance to see her in class the next week and talk to her.  But she never showed, she didn’t show up to any of her classes, for what seemed like a whole week and that just made everything worse.  What happened? What did I do wrong?  To my surprise, I got a call from Malia, asking me to try to speak to her, and I didn’t hesitate. Pacing around in my apartment I thought of what I’d say, fixed and cleaned hoodie in my hand I made my way to her apartment. 

“Jungkook.” She said my name in a weak whisper when she saw me.  I stood there, nervous. She looked tired, sad.  “Hey…” My voice came out weak. I looked down, struggling to speak, I didn’t want this to end, I really, really liked her. “Look…” I started. “I don’t know what I did that might have fucked this up… But I just wanted to apologize. And if you don’t want to speak to me again, I understand. I don’t know what’s bothering you… I wish I did, so I can help, but since I don’t, all I can say is… You need to get up. You need to come back to class, nothing is worth putting away all your hard work and dedication you have this far.” I finished. Even if she didn’t ever want to see me again, I just needed to know she would be ok, she would be herself and go back to her life, even if that meant I had to stay away. “Here, I thought you should keep this.” I swallowed the lump in my throat, handing her the hoodie. “Thanks,” She said and looked down.  She wasn’t going to speak, and I took that as a sign to leave. And so I did. I left, walked back to the car and stayed quiet. Seokjin waiting in the passenger seat for a reaction, but I was silent. Closed. I didn’t want to talk. That was it, that was the end.  My phone vibrated and what I saw gave me a glint of hope.  Y/N: “Can we meet one last time before it’s over?”

I replied faster than I could think.

“Yes, tomorrow. Same room, same time, looking forward to seeing you.”  And I breathed in. I was going to see her again, even if it wasn’t the way I wanted to. I still was, and it was something. 

[backedagainstthewall]

fill out with muse info.

Name: James Andrew Martin Alias(nicknames): Nothing that’s really stuck.  He’s used an alias on occasion but most of the time uses his real name if he can.   Age: 34 (canonically, note that I’ve “frozen” his age for his main verse) Date of Birth: November 4, 1984 Spoken languages: English fluently, moderately fluent in Russian, basic fluency in Spanish Sexuality: Straight Occupation: Nothing really in his main verse, helps run a self-defense gym in his later verse Criminal record: One juvie arrest.  He’s been arrested a few times as an adult but never for anything that left a record, as his major crimes went under the radar.

Appearance

Eye color: Dark brown Hair color: Black Height: 5′11″ Scars: Several on his back and chest that can be noticeable if you’re close to him.  Some faint ones here and there from fight wounds.  One on his knee that predates his criminal life, from a bike accident when he was a kid.   Overweight: No Underweight: No

Favourite…

Color: Red, or darker colors Hair color: Red Eye color: No real preference Song: I don’t know.  He mostly likes rock music.   Movie: Probably some cheesy action movie.  T.V. Show: I don’t think he watches much TV apart from news or sports.  I guess he’d watch College Gameday during football season.   Food: Chicken, especially baked or fried.   Drink: Orange juice Video Game: Apart from a bit of Nintendo as a kid, he doesn’t have much experience with video games.   Ice cream flavor: Vanilla

Have you…

Graduated high school: No Had sex: Yes Had sex in public: No Gotten pregnant: Look, I know this is Tumblr, so I’ll say it:  James can’t get pregnant.   Kissed a boy: No Kissed a girl: Yes Gotten tattoos: Got one from his criminal days, he’ll probably have it removed one day Gotten piercings: No. Smoked/drank/done drugs: Yes to drank, no to the others.  He’s not a big-time drinker, but certainly doesn’t abstain.   Had a broken heart: I suppose Been in love: Yes Needed surgery: Yes Stayed up for more than 24 hours: Yes

Are you…

A virgin: No A cuddler: Not really.  He’ll do it if she wants to. A kisser: He can be. Scared easily: Rarely.  He is a little paranoid, though.   Jealous easily: Not really Trustworthy: If he’s on your side, yes.   In love: RP-dependent, but not usually Single: Yes In a relationship: No (RP-dependent, but he rarely is unless it’s with the person RP’d with) Considered mean: Yes, by some people

Random questions.

Have you harmed yourself: No Thought of suicide: Sporadically when he was younger. Attempted suicide: No Wanted to kill someone: No Of course Driven a car: Yes Have/had a job: Not a “real” one Have any fears: Someone finding his cousin’s family, powerlessness, drowning.  Note he is not afraid of water and can swim.  

Family

Sibling(s): None.  Parents: David and Vanessa, deceased when he was young. Children: No (except in specific RPs) Pet(s): None. 

tagged by: I stole this thing from @hammurabicomplex. tagging: My other blogs @sadiesawyer @fieryhairedthief.  Also @walkinggatorbait  @detectiverickitubbs  @abscxnder  Or just take it from me.  

[roidespd-blog]

Chapter Three : THE DESOLATION OF THE GRINDR USER

« Grindr is a sociopath nest », Anonymous 

Grindr was launched on March 25, 2009. About a month or so earlier, I lost my virginity to the sweetest guy you could imagine. I met him on what we could consider one of Grindr’s ancestors, Gaypax— I still have that account, out of nostalgia. The design is so ugly I wonder now how I did spend so much time on it (we weren’t picky back then…) So Grindr was born at the exact time my sexual and romantic life was unfolding. It means that, except for the few years I’ve spent frenetically masturbating to La Redoute’s underwear catalogues and downloading dirty pictures of Brad Pitt naked with a very slow wifi, I’ve always been accustomed to gay apps.

Recently, the new and improved french magazine Tétu published an article called « Faut-il brûler Grindr?». Though not as detailed as I was hoping it would be, it did not changed my general opinion about the dating app paradigm. 

FLASHBACK France, 1971. A young gay man living in a beautiful city called Paris. Mike Brant just released his first major hit, Rock’N’Roll is slowly dying and Les Bidasses en Folie is this year’s biggest success at the box office. Unfortunately for him, the Gay Rights Movement is just at its infancy, homosexuality is still considered a mental illness and sodomy is punishable by law. So he shut his mouth and do his dirty business privately. he spends time around Place de Clichy and finds very discreet bars that can welcome him without too much judgement. He takes long walks toward the Tuileries bushes and sucks a stranger’s dong without any verbal exchange. He ends up marrying that fine young Marie, daughter of a friend of his dad, makes a couple of kids and from time to time, goes back to those places, shameful of himself.

That was the life of a gay man in France. If he didn’t get killed along the way. CUT TO 2009. Grindr is the first official gay dating app launched around the world. In France, the ban on sodomy disappeared in 1981 and since 1992, you are no longer considered a crazy person for being attracted to a person of the same sex (well, not from an official medical point, anyway). The app came to fruition through a simple question asked by its creator, Joel Simkhai : « WHO ELSE IS GAY AROUND HERE? ».

By 2012, 4 million people were using the App. 27 million as of 2017. Tinder followed in 2012 — you are welcome, straight people. Then SCRUFF, GAYROMEO, HORNET, BLUED, … What is wrong, then ? You damn well know something is wrong.

SMARTPHONE, 21st CENTURY’S NEW BACKROOM

If you go to a bar, you have to talk to the bartender, exchange a least a fews words with strangers, even dance as your look around and are being seen by others in the flesh. If you go to a gaybar, the same thing happens. If you go to a gaybar then the gaybar’s backroomn, rules change.

As the dating apps was closing in on worldwide domination, it became clear that the natural human kindness and respect would ultimately have no effect on the way people would communicate with one another on Grindr. I’ve been working in a bookstore for the past four years, you see. I expect a “hello”, “goodbye” and a smile during any interactions with clients — from them and myself. So there’s nothing more annoying that someone coming up to you, barking what they want to and leaving without any civility whatsoever. The Grindr equivalent would be Step 1 : A DICK PICK (or ass pick. I once had a fisting commemorative photo sent to me) straight up. Step 2 : A terribly convenient “cc sava tu ch?” or a “cho?” Step 3A : If you are polite enough to answer something, a conclusive “tu reçoi” or “tu bouge” Step 3B : you did not answer a singe word and the guy either sends you a “????” or insults the shit out of you. I sometimes do not answer impolite clients at work. Guess what ? Bitches say hello if you stare down at them long enough. On the internet, never gonna happen.

I remember the first couple of times I went on Grindr. I tried to answer everyone, even a “no, thank you”. There was always some “Hello”s, “How are you?”s, a few “My name is”s. But as the years went by, gay men (as I mostly talk to gay or bisexual cis men on these apps, I can only give my opinion on that category of people) adopted a series of unofficial rules to talk to each other.

1. If we are on this app, we are ready to fuck. 2. We do not have time for small talk. 3. We do not need your name, but dick size and multiple nudes are welcome. A picture is worth a thousand blablablahs. 4. We need to be very precise about what we want, so as not to waste our precious time. 5. Seriously, give us a full diagnosis of your body shape through pics, boy. 6. Chems ? 9. There are no rule 7 & 8, because 6 & 9. Now, turn around.

There are also lots of personal rules users seem keen on sharing them publicly as to implement unofficial rule number 4.

NO FEMS, NO BLACKS, NO ASIANS

“Pretty chill guy here. Very open minded and friendly. I love men from different cultures. Just no Asians. Asians leave me alone. I’m not racist” “Don’t message me. I’ll message you :). No Blacks Asians or fems. Love it when fats call themselves masc. hahahaha.” “Tell me if top/btm. Don’t really believe in “vers”. […] Attracted to Latin & White (trying to sound PC)” “Chill masc sane… just described nobody on here… Over 35, Asian or fem = block.. haha” “99% of you are losers. I’m the top 1%. So prove yourself first” The last one was written by a white male, by the way. They all were.

In our modern society, we’re not fools enough to believe that racism disappeared and everyone is accepting of others. Just look at the whole series of events called “while Black” where white people called cops on black folks for getting out of their airbnbs, talking in a Starbucks without ordering or falling asleep in a communal room at college. Nevertheless, you don’t see parades of racists proudly marching with “NO BLACKS” signs on the streets — you see another type of marches, yes. Free speech and stuff, sure. So why has it become acceptable in people’s minds to shade light on their racism in their profiles, barely hiding behind the “sexual preference” bullshit excuse ?

In an article dated September 2018 called “Why is it OK for online dates to block whole ethnic groups?” (2), the Observer related the appalling anecdote of an elderly white man who responded to a Grindr user of asian descent : “Asian, ew gross”.

I myself was told that I was too fat, too small, too twinkish, then not enough of those, or too white (but so we’re clear : RESERVE RACISM IS NOT A THING. STOP TRYING TO MAKE IT A THING!).

Racism also works with the beliefs that if you look or act a certain way, you obviously are what someone’s fantasy is. You are a black man so I assume that my hole will expand by ten once you’re inside me. You a blond light weight with feminine traits. You’re a submissive bottom and a real whore.

The world works on assumptions (ex : the myth of the BIG BLACK DICK or the for-sure global instinct that Tom Hanks would never have to face any #MeToo accusations) and apps follow that same path but without any policing. The absence of ramifications from someone’s actions further implement a feeling of unapologetic mindfulness — the same way being in a dark backroom with strangers you can’t see does not seem to add any consequences to what you’ll do next.

Recently, Grindr tried to course correct its past errors by creating “Kindr” (3). Was it a new app that would prevent people from actively using hate speech ? WELL WHY DON’T YOU PREVENT IT ON GRINDR THEN ? Was it a new platform to exchange ideas and experiences so that we can find another way to communicate together ?

Here’s how they introduce Kindr on their official site : At Grindr, we’re into diversity (MONEY), inclusion, and users who treat each other with respect. We’re not into racism, bullying, or other forms of toxic behavior (YOU ARE THE TOXIC BEHAVIOR). These are our preferences, and we’ve updated our Community Guidelines to better reflect them. Same app. New rules (DID YOU THOUGH?) Everyone is entitled to their opinion. Their type. Their tastes. But nobody is entitled to tear someone else down because of their race, size, gender, HIV status, age, or — quite simply — being who they are. (AS LONG AS IT DOES NOT PUT YOUR BUSINESS IN A RISKY POSITION) Join us in building a kinder Grindr. (DO YOUR OWN DAMN WORK). Express yourself, but not at the expense of someone else (OR US). Report discrimination when you see it (LIKE WITH THE JEWS BACK THEN. ALSO, WE THE USERS, ALREADY DID THAT). Use your voice and share your story to call out prejudice and spark change. Together, we can amplify the conversation and take steps towards a kinder, more respectful community (SEE, WE AT GRINDR ARE WOKE).

There you have it. A marketing scam to ease the pain of millions of users whose relationships and self esteem were affected by Grindr’s lack of interest in their consumers. How many years did it take for a simple statement from the CEO ? What’s actually concrete about these actions ?

in the community guide lines, it is stated that they “will remove any discriminatory statements displayed on profiles. […] Profile language that is used to openly discriminate against other users’ traits and characteristics will not be tolerated and will be subject to review by our moderation team”. FINE. So, if someone says “no short fat asians”, theoretically it would be removed from the profile. But if it says “more into vanilla and spice than chocolate and rice. So hit me up if this is you” (an actual Grindr profile, by the way), what can a Grindr moderator do about it ? The racism is still there. Are we to believe that EVERY single profile is being reviewed in detail ?

#deletegrindr was a popular hashtag over a year ago. I’m not on twitter and I still heard about it. Was it a cultural shift in the way gay people wanted to treat other gay people ? Were we on the verge of a revolution ? Nop. Grindr released data informations of thousands and thousands of profiles about HIV status (something that you can put on your Grindr profile) to third party companies. Since then, Grindr released the Kindr initiative and rewrote its policies.

I’m not against dating apps. I think it was a wonderful tool back in the day to extend one’s horizon, explore and experiment with love, sex and adventures. It no longer works that way. I didn’t even talk about the spreading of drug using through profile description and the real danger of stimulants in someone’s sex life.

#deletegrindr should come back and this time, it has to work. Silicon Valley, go make an app from scratch. One that would implement actual kindness to the machine, not based on popularity. Think of what people need, not what they want. People are shitheads. I’m a shithead. What I want is never good for me.

And YOU. You, little queer boy reading this. Don’t go on Grindr before going to bed to check the hotties in your area. Forget about that 6'2 monster cock Swedish god that lives nearby and offered you a quick hump for the ride. Ask him for a drink, put down your phone, get to know him a little and then fuck his brains out. You’re still gonna fuck but you’ll find humanity where there was once none.

That’s my preaching for the night. I gave up long ago on apps. I delete them all and stay away for months. Then, I feel lonely and get back to one or two. I met this new guy that way (4).The nice thing about it was that we did not talk dick sizes, favorite positions or any sexual desires until way after we actually met (and we’re talking two full weeks of messages). I’m not on any dating apps now.

(1) https://tetu.com (2) https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2018/sep/29/wltm-colour-blind-dating-app-racial-discrimination-grindr-tinder-algorithm-racism (3) https://www.kindr.grindr.com (4) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ezra_Miller

[wistfulcynic]

Another Brick In The Wall, Chapter 6

a/n: Super quick, I know, but I couldn’t hold it in any longer, and I really need this story out of my freaking head so I can concentrate on other things. Be forewarned: Although I always had a general idea for what had happened to Killian before he came to Storybrooke, this wrote itself into a bit of a darker place than I’d intended. Most of that will actually appear in the next chapter, but this one does contain mentions of a dubious-consent scenario, due to the ages of the people involved and other factors.

New, serious-this-time-summary: Emma Swan, sheriff’s daughter, mayor’s niece, quarterback’s girlfriend, is the undisputed princess of Storybrooke High. She is smart and confident and used to getting what she wants. What she wants is Killian Jones, the new boy in school. But Killian is not easily manipulated, and reluctant to allow the dark secrets in his past to touch the girl he is rapidly falling in love with.

Rating: T+

Read it on AO3: Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6

Tags for: @darkcolinodonorgasm @jennjenn615 and @resident-of-storybrooke

Chapter 6: 

Neal swaggered into school on Monday morning, looking like anything but a boy who’d not only been suspended for a month but also ignominiously dumped by his girlfriend in public. 

“What’s the douchebag extraordinaire looking so smug about?” asked Ruby. “Did he kick a puppy on his way in this morning?”

“Who cares?” replied Emma, not even bothering to look. She truly could not be less interested in whatever Neal had up his sleeve. It was hard even to imagine now what she had ever seen in him or why she had allowed him to be so overbearing and dismissive of her for so long. Now that she had gotten to know Killian, experienced his genuine interest in her thoughts and ideas, felt the flame of emotion —was it love?— that burned brighter and hotter the more time she spent with him, Neal and his petty self-aggrandizement and jealousies just seemed so pointless. 

When he sauntered over and flung his arm around her shoulder like nothing had happened her skin actually crawled. Fury surged through her and she shoved him away with all her strength, the muscles honed by weeks of fencing finally paying off. “Don’t you dare touch me,” she hissed. “How dare you even come near me after what you tried to do to Killian?”

“Oh, Killian,” mocked Neal. “Of course, Killian, your precious boo, it’s all about him now. So, hey, I was wondering, did your sweet little twoo wuv ever tell you why he moved here?”

Emma frowned, startled by the odd non-sequitur. “No, why would he?”

“Ha,” said Neal, “Of course he wouldn’t want you to know about it. Did you even know he was seeing the shrink?”

“What? Do you mean Dr Hopper?”

“Oh yeah. Seems there’s an awful lot your bae hasn’t told you. Good thing you’ve got me to uncover the lies. I got hold of his records and guess what? Sweet Killian came to Storybrooke because he had to leave England after he got his brother kicked out of the British Navy.” 

“What?”

“See for yourself.” He held out his phone. Emma took it, jaw dropping as she read the document he had photographed in Dr Hopper’s office. 

“Yup. Turns out your boy was fucking the wife of his brother’s commanding officer. Not so sweet after all.”

“His wife? But she must have been ancient!” cried Ruby, peering at the phone over Emma’s shoulder. 

“Twenty-five. Says here she was the second wife. It’s actually a pretty badass move, I’m almost impressed.” 

It didn’t sound badass to Emma. It sounded abusive. What would a twenty-five year old woman even want with a sixteen year old boy? A woman whose husband had power over his brother’s career? She wanted to cry. No wonder Killian was so closed off, so hesitant to let anyone in. No wonder he’d resisted her advances. He must have trusted this woman and it had somehow led to Liam losing his commission. Killian must feel so guilty. She had seen firsthand how much he loved his brother, idolised him really, despite his grumbling when Liam teased. If his actions had harmed Liam, Killian would be devastated. 

Neal was still smirking, though there was a tiny hint of confusion in his eyes. Emma wasn’t reacting quite the way he’d expected. She didn’t look angry or disgusted, just sad. He decided to twist the knife. 

“So your little boyfriend’s a homewrecker, huh? That must be a kick in the teeth. Bet you thought he was an innocent little virgin like you. Or are you, still? You let him fuck you yet?”

Emma glared at him, anger bubbling through her, feeling for the first time in her life like she actually hated someone.

“Or maybe he thinks you’d be too vanilla after the admiral’s wife.” 

“Emma, if you don’t punch this jagoff in his stupid fucking face, I will,” snarled Ruby. 

“No,” said Emma, slapping Neal in the chest with his phone as she returned it to him. “He’s not worth the detention. You’re pathetic, Neal. None of this changes how I feel about Killian, though it does explain a lot. I guess maybe I should thank you for that. Or not, because you only did it to be a jerk. Either way, I never want to speak to you again.” She looked him straight in the eye and spoke a word she had never thought she’d say. “Fuck off.” 

Ruby gasped and even Neal’s eyes widened in shock. Emma never swore. 

She almost laughed at their expressions. Maybe Killian was rubbing off on her. Or maybe she was just tired of being a good girl all the time. Giving Neal her best approximation of one of Killian’s dismissive sneers, she turned on her heel and headed for her first class. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

By the end of second period the entire school had heard about Killian and the admiral’s wife. Although the majority seemed to agree with Neal that banging an older woman was pretty impressive, there was a small but vocal minority with some less than kind thoughts about the character of a person who would “steal someone’s wife.”

Whatever their opinion, everyone was talking about him, and Emma knew how Killian would hate that, how mortified he’d be to have the secrets he’d protected so fiercely as fodder for school gossip. 

When he didn’t appear in English class, her worry nearly consumed her. She buzzed with anxiety for the whole period, and after it ended Emma did yet another thing that she had never done before in her life, another thing she never imagined she would do. 

She skipped a class. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She found him where she’d known she would, in the little corner of the library that she’d come to think of as their corner. He smirked when he saw her, the old careless smirk she hadn't seen on his face for weeks.

“You've heard then,” he said. “About Milah.” 

She nodded. 

“At least now you understand why I have to go back.” 

“No, I really don’t.” 

“I left her,” he snapped. “She— she loves me, and I abandoned her. Left her in the hands of that— that demon she married.” 

“Does she? Love you, I mean?”

“Yes!” He nearly shouted. “Of course she loves me and I—” he looked down at his hands as his voice cracked over the words “—and I love her and I— we—” 

“You—” she swallowed hard. “You slept with her.” 

He shot her a sardonic look. “I fucked her, yes. Does it upset you less not to use the word? Should I tidy up the language for the princess’s delicate ears? I fucked her, is what, and not just once. It went on for months.”

Emma tried not to cringe, knowing he was deliberately trying to hurt her, convinced he wouldn’t be so callous if there wasn’t something deeply wrong. “Did you want to?” she asked. 

He blinked, surprised, and then a stricken expression crept onto his face. “What?” He whispered. 

“Did you want to—” she hesitated over the hated word, “—to fuck her?”

“I— of course I did!” he said, in the tone Emma had come to learn all too well over the past few months, the one he used when he was trying to convince himself of something he didn’t truly believe. 

She took a step closer to him, willing herself not to feel hurt when he flinched away. “Did you really?” she whispered. 

He squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head, trying to deny her words. 

“It’s okay if you didn’t, Killian.” 

“I— I did,” he said, “I had to.” 

Emma jolted back like she’d been hit with a bolt of lightning. “What do you mean you had to?” she cried. Something was definitely very not right here. Had Killian somehow been coerced? She swallowed over the lump in her throat, tears prickling behind her eyes at the thought, at the thought of anyone using him, hurting him as he had clearly been hurt. 

He seemed to be fighting back tears of his own. “Her husband is a monster,” he said in a choked voice. “He abused her, psychologically and— and physically. She was always so sad, desperate for an escape, and I— I worried she might hurt herself, or worse. When we— well, it made her feel better. I just wanted her to stop being so sad.” 

“Oh, Killian.” Emma could swear her heart was breaking, she could feel it shatter in her chest. “I’m so sorry. It must have been terrible, but I doubt there was anything you could really have done—”

“You don’t know that, Emma!” he  nearly shouted, and Emma wondered wildly why Miss French hadn’t appeared to shush them yet. “You don’t know anything about it!” 

“Of course I don’t!” She was shouting herself now, feeling so sad and furious and hurt that he was still trying to push her away. “How could I when you never told me anything?”

“Oh, I should have told you, should I? Told you, the sweetest little princess in the world all about how I fucked a married woman? Told you all the many and varied ways I fucked everything up, so that you could hate me?”

“I don’t hate you, I could never—”

“Well, you should. I destroyed my brother’s career, got us kicked out of our country, made Milah’s awful life worse, got her—” he broke off. “You should hate me, God knows I hate myself.” 

“Oh, Killian—” She reached for him, but he flinched away again. 

“I don’t need your pity, Emma,” he sneered, hating the thought of her touching him knowing what he was, desperate for her to go away and leave him alone with his pain. Pain he would rather die than allow to sully her. “The pity of a sweet little small-town girl whose biggest problem is whether she’ll get into her first choice college or her second. You don’t know what it’s like to have real problems.” 

“Please let me— I just want to help you,” she whispered. 

“Well, you can’t. And what’s more, you shouldn’t want to. Wanting to help someone is what got me into this bloody mess in the first place. Look out for yourself and you’ll never get hurt, that’s the lesson you need to learn.”

“That’s a terrible lesson.” 

“And it’s only a very privileged person who has the luxury not to learn it.” He slumped back against the bookshelves, looking so lost and broken that she couldn’t stop the tears from welling up and rolling down her cheeks. 

“Go away now, Emma,” he said. “Please.”

“Killian.” 

“Just go. We have nothing more to say to each other.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After she left, Killian sat for a minute, recovering what he could of his composure. Then he went home. There was no point staying in this ridiculous school any longer, he thought. Now that the secret was out, maybe Liam would finally agree to go back to England. 

His gut twisted with what he refused to accept was distress at the thought of leaving Storybrooke. Leaving Emma. He’d known all along that he’d be gone soon, after all, that Emma could never be for him. That bright, beautiful girl deserved far better than someone who’d failed as badly as he had. 

At least she wasn’t with Neal anymore. Killian consoled himself with that thought. She’d go off to college next year and find herself some bloke as solid and wholesome as she was herself, and they would get married and have beautiful children and she would be happy. He almost smiled, thinking about it. That was what Emma deserved from life. 

He was leaning against the kitchen counter, imagining Emma’s future when the door burst open and Liam appeared. 

Killian stiffened at the expression on his brother’s face. “Shouldn’t you be at work?” he asked.

“Emma called me at the harbourmaster’s office. She told me what happened.” 

Killian glared down at the countertop. “Good,” he said defiantly. “I’m glad. I’m glad this happened, now maybe we can abandon this charade and finally go home.”

“Oh, bloody hell, not this again! We are home, Killian! Storybrooke is our home now, we are not going back to Bristol!” 

“Why, Liam? You said we were moving here for a new start, but that’s blown up now. There’s no point in staying in this ridiculous little town anymore, and I am not going back to that bloody school. Can’t we just go back to England and forget this ever happened?”

Liam looked intently at his brother, clinging to the fine threads of his patience. Killian had always been stubborn, but this was a new level of intransigence. “Brother, tell me what’s going on with you. Why are you so desperate to get back? Is it about Milah, because you know you can’t—” 

“Don’t tell me what I can’t do!” shouted Killian. “You don’t know, Liam! I have to go back to her, I have no choice!” 

“Of course you have a choice—”

“I don’t!” 

Liam threw up his hands in exasperation. “Why the hell not? What is it that you’re not telling me? I know there’s something you’ve been holding back, Killian. Please, just tell me what it is!”

Killian pounded his fist on the countertop in frustration, wanting desperately to tell Liam everything but still so terribly afraid of how his brother might handle the news. He looked at Liam’s pleading expression and suddenly all the humiliation and anger and sadness of the day and of his life and of his hopeless future was just too much for him. “Milah is pregnant,” he burst out. “She’s pregnant and she said she’d kill herself and the baby if I didn’t come back.” 

Liam gaped. “You never said… Why didn’t you tell me this?” 

“How could I? I’d already made such a mess of things for you, destroyed your career and forced us to leave England, I didn’t want you to know how badly I’d actually screwed up. I was afraid that even if you found out you still wouldn’t let me go back, that you’d try to deal with Milah yourself and drive her to do something desperate. And—” he gulped, looking utterly distraught and so painfully young. “—and also I didn’t want to talk about it. It felt like talking, actually saying it out loud would somehow make it real. But it is real, don’t you see, and I can’t keep ignoring it. I have a responsibility—” 

Liam shook his head, feeling like he’d finally found the missing piece to a puzzle he’d been labouring over for months. “Goddamnit, Killian, have you been keeping this inside all this time? This is what you’ve been hiding?”

Killian nodded, and Liam strode across the room and wrapped him in an enormous hug. “I’m so sorry, brother, I had no idea.” 

Killian sighed against his brother’s shoulder, wishing for just a moment that he were small again so he could curl up in Liam’s lap and let his brother protect him from the world. “So you understand,” he said, sounding tentatively hopeful and profoundly relieved. “You’ll let me go back? You see, don’t you Liam, that I have to go back? I can’t let her— my own child—”

Liam’s heart broke to hear his little brother (which Killian would always be to him, despite his insistence on younger), still barely more than a boy himself, making himself frantic about the well being of his baby. “Brother,” said Liam, pulling back from the hug. “Come, sit down. We need to talk.” 

He led Killian to the sofa, where his brother sat reluctantly, nervous energy rolling off him in waves. Liam was silent for a moment, gathering his thoughts. “Killian, there are a lot of things I think you need to know, things I never told you before because I thought you had enough to deal with. Looking back, I realise that this was a mistake. You’ve always been mature for your age, forced to grow up faster than you should have when Mum died and then Father left. I should have trusted you with the whole truth instead of trying to protect you from it. Maybe then you wouldn’t have felt so much guilt or tried to take so much on your own shoulders. 

The first thing you need to know is that you aren’t the reason why I gave up my commission. I wasn’t forced into it by Gold or by threats of retailiation. I relinquished it voluntarily, gladly even, when it became clear that the navy had no intention of taking action against that man for any of the crimes he committed, not least of which the crimes against his wife. I could no longer in good conscience be a part of an institution that swept such serious things under the rug or let themselves be bought with a criminal’s dirty money and nefarious influence. 

What I didn’t know during the time that I was investigating Gold’s malfeasance was how heavily Milah was coming to depend on you for support. I should have noticed it, Killian, should have paid more attention to you. I got so caught up in my work that I ignored what was going on in my own family. That was my mistake, and you are not to blame for it. You’re also not to blame for Milah’s actions. She was responsible for coercing you into a sexual relationship—”

“She didn’t coerce me! I wanted to,” protested Killian, though the words sounded hollow even to his own ears. Had he really wanted to sleep with Milah, or had he just wanted her to feel better, to feel loved and stop hinting that she might take her own life? 

Liam looked skeptical, but didn’t challenge him. “Perhaps, but she should never have put you in a position where wanting to would even be an option. She had no business getting so involved with a teenager, putting her problems on your shoulders, expecting you to deal with her marriage. There was nothing you could have done, Killian, no way you could have rescued her. It was never your responsibility.”

Killian was silent, and Liam could see him thinking, trying to adjust. “She was desperate…” he whispered. 

“Yes, she was. She was in a terrible situation, one that is never easily resolved. I understand why you wanted to help her, I did too. But Killian, look at me.” He paused until his brother’s blue eyes met his own. “You did not fail to save her. There was nothing you could have done. It wasn’t your responsibility. Do you understand that?”

Killian nodded slowly, but he still looked troubled. “I think, since we’ve been in Storybrooke, I’ve had some time and distance to think about it and I have come to understand those things, though it doesn’t really make me feel less guilty. The baby, though, that is my responsibility,” he said. “I can’t let her endanger it. I promised I’d go back and I have to keep that promise.”  

“Brother, this is going to be hard for you to hear, but please listen carefully. There is no baby.” 

“There is,” insisted Killian. “She told me. I went to see her in hospital—” 

“Yes, I know you did. I just wish I’d known what she said to you there. But it isn’t true. I’ve been keeping track of Milah, and of Gold, since we moved. She’s not pregnant. She never was.”

Killian looked shell shocked. “She’s… not pregnant,” he whispered. 

“No,” said Liam. “But she’s left him. Gold. She moved to London and filed a restraining order against him. From what I’ve been told, he’s respecting it. He’s moved on to some other poor deluded young woman, apparently. Milah has filed for divorce.” He looked at his brother, fancying he could almost see the cogs turning in his clever mind as he adjusted to this complete realignment of his universe. “Are you going to be all right, Killian?” 

Killian was silent for a long time. “I— I need some time to process all this,” he said finally. “All this time, I’ve been thinking— thinking about how far along she was and how the baby was developing, if it would be a boy or a girl. It’s going to take some time to accept that it’s not going to happen, that it was never true. Even though I didn’t want it, losing it is still a blow. Does that make sense?” 

“It does,” said Liam kindly. “And... do you still feel that you need to go back? Even knowing that she’s safe, and there’s no baby?”

Killian huffed out a breath. “Bloody hell, give a chap time to think before you start asking life-altering questions!” he said, and Liam felt some of his tension drain away. If his brother was up to making wry quips then that was a very good sign. 

“I really am going to need a while to work through all of this,” said Killian, sounding so grown up that it gave Liam a bittersweet twinge in his heart. “But I think— no. I don’t want to go back. I want— I— I have to talk to Emma.”  

Notes the second: So clearly there are serious issues of age-related ability to consent, here, however it’s important to note that the legal age of consent in the UK is 16, so Milah didn’t technically break any laws. I think we can all agree though that she took serious advantage of Killian’s inherent chivalry and used it to force him into a position where he wouldn’t really feel comfortable saying no, which was clearly not okay. On the third hand (ha!) It’s important to remember that people stuck in abusive relationships often feel driven to take desperate measures and Milah was looking for escape at any cost. There will be more on this as Killian tells Emma his story in the next chapter.    

[cyphahobi]

Dame De La Nuit; 01

⇒  pairing: seokjin/reader | fluff, future smut

⇒  au: business man!seokjin, prostitute!reader

word count: 2,465

⇒  summary: first night on the job turns into a week long adventure of business and pleasure. landing business man, kim seokjin as your first client, turns your whole world upside down.

⇒  A/N: this fic is heavily inspired by the movie pretty woman. so if you start reading and feel it’s familiar, that is why. i love the movie, but wanna put my own twist to it. also i’m posting this at 6am when i started writing around 2am so pls don’t hate me if it’s crap. but thanks and love you all.

Being a sex worker was not what you wanted out of life. Not that you had anything against sex workers. You admired a woman going for what she wanted in life. But let’s face it; Prostitute just doesn’t have a nice ring to it, when people asked what you do for a living. You weren’t even sure why you were here in the first place. You’ve never slept with anyone before. The most you had done was fondle your ex’s junk in the back of a movie theater in your junior year of high school. You couldn’t actually come up with a reason why you hadn’t lost your virginity yet, you just didn’t find anyone interesting enough. Boys didn’t interest you at all. You rather liked older men. A man that had a head on his shoulders. Not some frat boy that just wanted to drink at parties and hookup on the weekends. But even with you being a virgin, here you were. On the side of the street with your roommate and fellow sex worker, because you refuse to use the word prostitute. You guys needed rent, and she knew some girls that were in the same game. You thought, just maybe you could do this until you could find another job. Getting let go from the bar you were waitressing at was hard. But you had to do something. You’re a broke college student with bills to pay and let’s face it, you have to eat. So your friend and you put on something to turn heads. Pulling out your old thigh high boots and short skirts from your clubbing days, when you were fresh into college and wanted to “let loose” as you put it. Waiting was the hardest part. You’re stood here on the side of the street, waiting for a man to decide if you were good enough for him. That alone made you cringe. Waiting for a “man”. Pfft, yeah right. What you were really hoping is that you were approached by someone first. You were kind of scared of your friend getting picked before you. You hated being alone and you didn’t really know her friends that well. It seemed like a “slow night” as your friend put it. That was until you saw a black ferrari 458 pull over on the side of the road, close to you and the girls. 

“Y/n, you should go check him out!” your friend encourages. You’re tempted but also scared. “What would I even say to him?” you ask. “You just walk up to him and ask if he’s looking for a date tonight!” one of the other girls chime in. “What if he laughs and says “hell no”, then what do I do?” you nervously ask your friend. “Then screw him! You’re hot y/n, don’t let the opinion of some man ever make you think otherwise!” you friend reassures you. Hearing her advice and compliments definitely get to your head. It’s not long before you start to walk over to the strangers car. With his windows up he’s completely oblivious to your existence. That is until you tap on his passenger side window and wave. He lifts his head and rolls the windows down. Revealing a bright white smile adorning what you can only describe as one of the most handsome men you’ve yet to lay your eyes on. 

“Hi sweetheart. You looking for some company?” you asked the strange man, and internally cringe right after. He looks shocked, but smiles again. “How much for some directions?” Now you’re the shocked one. “Where are ya’ heading sweetheart?” you inquire. “Trying to find my hotel. I have my gps up, but it keeps glitching.” he replies. “Well where are you staying?” you ask him. “Four Seasons, on 57th street” he tells you. “Want me to show you the way?” you smile at him in the most seductive way you could. Thinking about it, you probably just looked stupid. But he smiles at you and says “Hop in.” So you get in the car, and it is just as nice on the inside as it is on the outside. “Okay go straight and make a left at the stop sign.” you direct him. He does as told, as he looks at you from the corner of his eye. “You really should keep your eyes on the road while driving.” you scold. He smirks and continues to look forward. “What’s your name?” he asks, not sparing you a glance this time. “Whatever you want it to be sweetheart.” you reply. Making him once again glance from the corner of his eyes. “Your name, doll?” he asks again. “It’s y/n, and yours?” you reply. “Kim Seokjin.” he answers. You can’t put your finger on it, but the name rings a bell. “Take the next right.” you instruct. “So, you’re a prostitute?” he asks. It for some reason catches you off guard. “I don’t like that word.” you respond. He laughs softly and you turn your head to face him. “What?” you ask. “Nothing, I just don’t know many prostitutes that don’t like the word “prostitute”, that’s all.” he says. “So you know a lot of prostitutes then?” you ask. “I thought you didn’t like the word?” he says. “I don’t.” you respond. “Why not?” he says looking at you. “Eyes on the road! And because I don’t, it’s got a negative stigma to it” you say. “I prefer sex worker”

 You pull up to the hotel and valet prepares to take over the car. You’re about to start walking back when he yells for you “Y/n wait!”

You turn to look at him and ask “Yes?” “Would you like to accompany me upstairs?” he asks. You smile and nod. 

You accompany him upstairs, but not without the uncomfortable stares from a few people in the lobby along with some of the workers. To which he ignores, but you couldn’t help but notice the looks of disgust on a few judgmental faces. You get to the elevator and notice he’s pushed the very top floor labeled “Penthouse Suite” 

You get into the room and you’re in awe. It’s unlike any hotel room you’ve ever been in. Hell it’s not even a room, its like a fully equipped house. He sits on the couch and motions for you to join. 

“So how does this work?” he asks

“What do you mean?” you question him

“Well I guess I should ask your prices first right?” he responds 

“Right.” you hesitantly reply “Well it’s one hundred an hour, three hundred for the full night.” you tell him, half expecting him to laugh in your face and kick you out. Instead he just smiles and rummages through his wallet. He pulls out three one hundred dollar bills and hands them to you. You’re shocked, but accept the cash upfront. When your friend told you the prices to ask for, you never thought anyone would pay the full one hundred. Let alone three hundred for the night. You put the cash in your purse and grab a few condoms for him to choose from. 

“Your pick.” you tell him

“I don’t need a condom.” he says

“Uhm, deal breaker. I don’t do the whole “I don’t wear condoms” deal. You wear them, or we don’t have sex. Not a choice.” you demand 

He laughs. “I don’t need one, because we’re not having sex.” he replies 

You pause, not really knowing what to say. “Then why am I here?” you ask

“You’re here because you’re beautiful, and I would like some company tonight.” he responds

“So, what would you like to do?” you ask, not sure what he expected you to do, if you weren’t having sex.

“Tell me about yourself.” he says

You start to think to yourself. What could he possibly want to know? You weren’t really prepped for a whole q&a. The girls just described the experience as a quick in and out deal really.

“Well I’m in college right now, just trying afford rent and food. Nothing truly interesting to be quite honest.” you tell him

He smiles and asks “How old are you doll?”

“I’m 21. What about you?” you ask

“What about me?” he questions back

“Well how old are you and what do you do?” you ask him

“I’m 26, I own a few businesses.” he responds

“You own businesses, what kind?” you ask

“What do you go to college for?” he asks, ignoring your previous question

“Well, right now I’m getting a degree to become a therapist.” you tell him

“Why a therapist?” he asks

“I wanna help people on a more personal level. Be there for people.” you respond.

“So how long have you been a sex worker?” he questions you

“Why do you ask?” you say

“You just don’t look like the type.” 

“What “type” is that exactly?” you ask

“I don’t know, you just look innocent. That’s all.” 

“I don’t know, Seokjin. I wouldn’t judge a book by it’s cover” you say

“Don’t call me Seokjin.”

“What do you like to be called then?” you ask

“Well there’s a lot of things I’d like for you to call me. But for now, we’ll stick with Jin.” he says

You blush as you figure out how to respond to him. The night so far had been fairly vanilla in the sense that he wasn’t looking for anything more than an innocent conversation. But you had a feeling that the conversation was gonna take a hard turn away from innocent real quick.

“And what would you like to call me?” you question

“What do you like to be called, doll?”

“Doll seems to roll right off your tongue. I suppose I like it.” you say

“So doll, what do you do?” 

“I told you I go to college.” you respond

He laughs under his breath and places an arm around your shoulder.

“No love, I meant what do you do. During your appointments I should say.” he says 

“Oh!” you say as you blush, “I guess whatever you like. But I don’t kiss on the mouth, too risky.” you say

He laughs again, “That’s the risky part? How so? 

“It’s too intimate. I feel like, once I kiss someone, I just attach myself to that feeling. That romantic, intimate feeling. That feeling of love.” you say

He nods in response. “Well it’s getting late.” he says “Would you like to accompany me to bed?” he asks

“Yes sir.” you reply, and can’t help but notice his shoulders tense when you do.

You get undressed, leaving you in just your bra and panties. You get into bed and wait for Jin to join you. He enters the room and notices what you’re wearing. He looks at you with what you believe to be a lustful look in his eyes. But instead of joining you, goes to his closet. He pulls out a t-shirt and hands it to you.

“As beautiful as that lace is, I figure you wanna be more comfortable.” he says

You smile and accept the shirt, you start you take off your bra and you notice Jin turn his head, as if to give you some privacy while putting the shirt he’d given you on. Confused as to why, since he payed you for the night. He hadn’t showed much interest in sleeping with you at all actually. Which was weird, but you didn’t question it. You liked his company. The warmth that radiated off of him was nice. You hadn’t been with anyone since your ex from high school. After him, you wanted to focus on yourself and your future. Something your friend never understood but you didn’t hold it against her. You just weren’t the relationship type. As you lay next to Jin waiting to fall asleep, you feel his arm wrap around your waist. The feeling of being held is nice, soon you drift to sleep.

You wake up alone. Taking you a second to remember where you are and that Jin had disappeared. You get out of bed to look for him.

You start for the living room when you hear his voice speaking to someone. You don’t hear anyone else, so you figure he’s on the phone. You notice he sounds annoyed. 

“Yes I know Joon. Yes, the dinner is important. Of course I’m showing up, that’s a stupid question. Oh it was one time, and it was because my secretary screwed the nights up. Yes, I’m aware. Yes. You want me to do what? A date? Is that necessary? Okay fine. No I don’t want any girl you have to offer. No I have the perfect girl. Just trust me. Okay bye. See you tonight.” he says as you hear him hang up.

He sounds like he’s heading your way, so you hurry back in bed to not seem like you had just eavesdropped that entire conversation. Jin walks to your side of the bed and continues to wake you. You smile as you pretend you had just woken up. 

“So I have a business proposition for you.” he says

“And what would that be sir?”

“Don’t call me sir, and I would like your company. For the rest of the week.”

You freeze, “The rest of the week? Why that long?”

“Well I have a lot of business to attend to this week and my partner and lawyer thinks it’d be wise not to attend these events alone. So what do you say?”

“For how much?” you ask

“How much do you want?” 

“Well twenty-four hours a day, days and nights. How about six thousand?” you say

“How about four thousand?” he asks

“Five thousand and you have yourself a deal.”

“Deal. But just know, the next week I need you to be at my beck and call.”

“One beck and call girl at your service.” 

“Now I have some meetings to attend and I won’t need you for those. Feel free to order any food you may want from room service, it will automatically charge to my card, and here’s some cash if you should need to go anywhere.”

“Jin this is five hundred dollars, where exactly do you think I’ll be going?”

“I don’t know but it’s yours in case you need it. Now I have to leave or I’ll be late. I wrote my number down on the notepad next to the phone out there, if you need me then call. I’ll see you later tonight.” he says

“Okay I’ll see you later then.” you say as he leaves the room. You wait till you hear him close the front door before you grab your phone. Eager to call your friend and tell her that you had stumbled upon an incredible opportunity.

[greenofallshades]

I saved this for when I had the time because I liked the questions, and because it was sent by a friend, @rapid-apathy.  So I had a long rainy weekend and was able to do it.  I’ve been holding onto it forever.  You’re supposed to answer the questions you like, delete the ones you don’t, and add your own to make 100.  I didn’t bullet mine but this is close to 100 either way, I guess.

So here’s a little tell-all, if anyone wants to know.  I’m tagging some unsuspecting souls so you guys can shake your fists at me and say well, fuck, it’s Monday, so naturally.   (Seriously, no one feel obligated to do it..pretending you never got tagged is perfectly fine, lol). 

@simcoedefensesquad, @abewoodhullturncoat, @cupric-solution, @enouementonism, @thesnakeinthegarden, @zaggyswag,  @080939, @teagrounebulous, @dolfinsatdawn, @west-coast-happiness

The meaning behind my url:  greenofallshades, Green is my favorite color and adding the last part made it sound vaguely...interesting, or something.

A picture of me: will post one soon.

How many tattoos i have and what they are:  none

Last time i cried and why: During the TURN finale, lol, but does that count?  Before that, a fight with my husband.

Favorite band:  Impossible to pick one, just cannot.  Also I’m one of those people who when you ask me to pick my favorite something I freeze and can think of nothing.

Biggest turn offs:  Pretentiousness, number one by far.  Also people who drop hints instead of asking for something, game-playing instead of being direct, and braggarts.

Top 5 (insert subject): Top five cookies!  Girl Scout Thin Mint, soft baked chocolate chip, M&M cookies, Nutter Butters, and Oreos.  

Tattoos i want: *shrug* none

Biggest turn ons: strong arms, hairy chest

 Age: old lady by Tumblr kid standards, I guess

Ideas of a perfect date: Sitting in front of a fire in an empty tavern with a 6'3" ginger Queen's Ranger, drinking to the point that I'm not drunk but feel good, and he gets loose and starts telling me stuff no one else knows, then getting on his horse with him (me in front, being held securely by him) and riding out to a secluded cabin in the woods only he knows about, where we spend the night having wild sex and getting as loud as we want.

Life goal: Not to have any huge regrets on my deathbed when it comes to people in my life.

Piercings i want: none

Relationship status: married

Favorite movie: Can't pick one but I love Bram Stoker's Dracula, Pulp Fiction, Gladiator, Goodfellas, Thirty Days of Night.  Not into chick flicks very much.  Also a couple of old movies---Rebecca (a total mind fuck) and Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?, which I STRONGLY rec.  It's a middle-aged married couple who have company over and spend the night drinking and cursing and tearing each other apart with complete viciousness. 

 A fact about my life:  I'm boring but okay with it

Phobia:  Any and all bugs, especially flying ones.  I wish I could make all of them extinct, including butterflies.

.Height: 5'5"

Are you a virgin?   A what?  

What is your shoe size?  8

What’s your sexual orientation?  straight

Do you smoke, drink, or take any drugs?   Wine sometimes....red.  Used to like white, can’t stand it now, and beer makes my throat close up

Someone you miss: My parents...they had me very late in life and they're gone now.

What’s one thing you regret?  Not being a better daughter

First celebrity you think of when someone says attractive:  Samuel Roukin, are you shocked?

Favorite ice cream?  french vanilla

One insecurity: Body image.  I had an eating disorder when I was a teenager and body issues will stay with me until I die.

What my last text message says:  From me---I might answer late because we’re doing late dinner.  To me---How does she afford it

Have you ever taken a picture naked? Taken one, no---taken one OF somebody, yes

Have you ever kissed a member of the same sex?  No

Have you ever slept naked?   Yes

Have you ever stole money from a friend?  No

Have you ever gotten in a car with people you just met?  Yes

Have you ever been in a fist fight?  No

Have you ever had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back?  Yeah, I think everybody has

Have you ever been arrested?  No

Have you ever made out with a stranger?  Yes 

Have you ever laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by?  Yes

Have you ever been lonely?  Yes

Have you ever been to a club?  Clubbing and dancing, so much fun

 Have you ever felt an earthquake?  Yes, in Virginia it's a rare thing and I thought Jesus was coming back.

Have you ever touched a snake?  I've held snakes...they're adorable.

Have you ever ran a red light?  Yes, and it was stupid as hell because my husband witnessed a horrible accident when someone ran a red.  A man was ejected out of his car into the air came down, and hit the pavement, dead.  DON'T RUN RED LIGHTS

Have you ever been in a car accident?   Yes

 Have you ever cried yourself to sleep?  Pretty sure I have

Have you ever sang karaoke?  No and never will for the mercy of the world

Have you ever done something you told yourself you wouldn’t?   Oh yeah...for example today I told myself I wouldn't touch the box of Cheezits in the pantry.

Have you ever laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose?  No, but I've laughed so hard I retched

Have you ever slept with someone at least 5 years older or younger?   Yes

Have you ever dream that you married someone?   Yes and I woke up and it was true.

Have you ever got your tongue stuck to a flag pole?  No, but points for a question that made me shudder.

Have you ever ever gone to school partially naked?  *side eye glance*

Have you ever brushed your teeth?   *second side eye glance*  I hope to hell

Have you ever ever too scared to watch scary movies alone?  Yes....I cannot watch Thirty Days of Night alone, even it's daytime

Have you ever been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on?  No, and it's a good thing, because you don't push a woman who has naturally curly hair into the water or your ass is going to have consequences.

Have you ever been told you’re hot by a complete stranger?  Yes

Have you ever broken a bone?  Just a toe

Have you ever been easily amused?  Lol, every damn day...wouldn't have it any other way.

Have you ever laughed so hard you cried?  Many times

Have you ever mooned/flashed someone?  No

Have you ever forgotten someone’s name?   Yes, embarrassing

Have you ever give us one thing about you that no one knows   I never have and I am not going to have creeps following this blog, lol.

What was your last dream?   I dreamed Samuel Roukin played a biker in black leather.  Are you seeing the trend here?

Would you be up for interplanetary travel if it was a thing?  Hard pass...I will stay safe on my couch with my fleece throw.

If you could travel back in time, where would you go?  Omg.  Again, can’t pick but I’m leaving this question up because it’s a good one.  

Do you prefer tech or real books for reading?   I like both, but prefer books

Do you dread doctor visits or do they not bother you?   They make me anxious

Favorite fashion decade of the twentieth century?  1940s

Are you wearing nail polish and if so, what color?   Manicure, Essie Watermelon; pedicure, OPI I Vant To Bite Your Neck

 Are you into working out or no?  I've always worked out, but I'm so burned out now

Do you have a temper?   Yes

Do you have one item you treat yosef with, and if so, what is it?   Josie Maran whipped argan oil

Do you eat meat?  Yes I am a happy carnivore

If yes, how do you like it cooked?  Well done and y'all can drag me for that all you want

Ever had a boss or a teacher you absolutely hated?  Oh yeah....a bitch boss who loved making lives miserable.  She snatched my engagement ring and hid it for a day so I would think I'd lost it, then gave it back at the end of the day and laughed. I was frantic.  I wish I could have a do-over with that bitch.

Coffee, tea, or hot chocolate?  Coffee

Do you wear makeup?  Yes

If you wear perfume, what's your scent type/favorite fragrance?  I like fresh/clean scents...love Versace VersenseScented 

Do you have a girl crush?  Yes

Candles, wax melts, or incense?  Wax melts....I have a shameful amount of those bitches.  Walmart, $2, too cheap to pass up.

Favorite season of the year?  Fall, fall, fall, then winter

Fanfic---do you prefer smut or fluff?   Smut, but well-written fluff about the right character (GUESS WHO) is good too

Do you like taking selfies?  Why or why not?   I hate it.  Old body image issues, not photogenic, etc.

Do you want children?   We can't, but we'll be okay.

Do you prefer lots of friends or just a few good friends?  Just a few, not interested in crowds of pseudo-friends

Introvert or extrovert, or mixture of both?  Mixture...can and do initiate conversation with strangers but I'm an only child and I need solitude to be sane

Ocean/beach or mountains?  Ocean, if it's cold, cloudy, and the water is wild and gray.  Otherwise mountains.

Morning person or night person?  Morning...first cup of coffee makes me annoyingly wired.

Do you initiate conversations with strangers?  Yes

Milk or dark chocolate?  Dark

What do you post on your blog?   Mostly Simcoe stuff, other TURN material, with some Walking Dead, Vikings, and The Strain.  Occasionally fashion, quotes, etc.

Is it hard for you to apologize when you're in the wrong?   If I know I've done wrong or hurt someone I have no problem apologizing.  I wouldn't want it to be otherwise.  And if I ever piss off any of y’all, let me know.

Love at first sight?  No.  Like/compatibility that turns into love, yes.

Best/funniest Halloween memory?  A couple, I guess.  The first was a party when my hairstylist friend did my make up and I went as a gypsy.  It was perfect, the hair, the armloads of cheap bangles and the huge earrings, a white peasant shirt with a flowing multicolored skirt, etc. 

 The second is one I was only told about, and it happened years ago, but I laugh when I think about it.   My father-in-law(to be) was home alone and a flood of kids kept coming to the door.  He gave out all the candy, then started throwing in cans of Beanie Weenies, and when they were gone, he started handing out money.  Finally he said to hell with it, turned off the light, and went to bed.

Did your first crush work out or was it unrequited?  Unrequited

Do you like old movies---and by old, I mean OLD old?  Yes, I've even watched a couple of silent movies.  The main thing about old movies that bugs is me the ever-present music.

Do you tan or burn?  Burn---don't care about tanning/lying in the sun with the heat beating down on me.  I like myself pale, anyway.

Do you think people deserve second chances?  Generally yes.  Hard to say no considering how many times I've fucked up.  But child molesters, that kind of thing--hell no.

What animal would be cutest if scaled down to the size of a cat?   A T-Rex

Do you have any weird food likes/dislikes?  I hate cheese, esp. melted. (Ikr?) Also white creamy foods...cream soups, mayonnaise, etc

.What's the funniest real person's name you've ever heard?   Andrew Lincoln is really Andrew Clutterbuck

.

[mendesstg-blog]

1 - 200 I WANNA KNOOOW 😊💕

Took all day, but she answered mine so I’ll answer her’s ❤️

200: My crush’s name is: Shawn Mendes ofc


199: I was born in: Wisconsin, USA. Date: Aug 26


198: I am really: Passionate about music, caring, and shy until I get to know you


197: My cellphone company is: Sprint


196: My eye color is: Brown (sometimes hazel or green, but usually brown)


195: My shoe size is: Depends on the shoe. I range from 6 to 8.5


194: My ring size is: 6


193: My height is: 5'1" (yeah ik I’m short but I like my height lol)


192: I am allergic to: idk, but I have seasonal allergies


191: My 1st car was: Haven’t gotten it yet


190: My 1st job was: babysit I guess (if that counts)


189: Last book you read: Sherlock Holmes


188: My bed is: a futon at my dad’s and a normal bed (? lol) at my mom’s. They’re both comfy


187: My pet(s): 1 dog, his name is Koby


186: My best friend: Is amazing and I love her so much. She’s helped me through a lot. 


185: My favorite shampoo is: Head and Shoulders


184: Xbox or ps3: Xbox
183: Piggy banks are: Cool. I still have one and I just emptied it for the Shawn Mendes concert lol


182: In my pockets: don’t have pockets on my pants rn


181: On my calendar: School events, vacations, college stuff, and weddings.


180: Marriage is: beautiful when you see two people absolutely in love with each other


179: Spongebob can: give me a crabby patty. Seriously. I’ve been waiting since I was 5
 

178: My mom: Annoys me sometimes, we don’t agree on certain things, but I still love her. 


177: The last three songs I bought were: Havana by Camila Cabello, Kiwi by Harry Styles, and It’s a Vibe by 2 Chainz


176: Last YouTube video watched: makeup videos lol


175: How many cousins do you have?: 9


174: Do you have any siblings?: 2 younger brothers


173: Are your parents divorced?: yes.


172: Are you taller than your mom?: We’re the same height by she argues that she’s taller


171: Do you play an instrument?: Clarinet, violin, piano, ukulele, and guitar 


170: What did you do yesterday?: spent all day with my school’s marching band and ended up looking like neopolitan ice cream because i got so burnt


[ I Believe In ] 

169: Love at first sight: idk


168: Luck: yes


167: Fate: yes


166: Yourself: YES OFC


165: Aliens: yes


164: Heaven: yes more or less


163: Hell: yes more or less


162: God: yes more or less


161: Horoscopes: idk, I occasionally read mine


160: Soul mates: idk


159: Ghosts: yes


158: Gay Marriage: YES 🏳️‍🌈


157: War: fuck no


156: Orbs: maybe? Idk what they are


155: Magic: idk


[ This or That ]

154: Hugs or Kisses: depends. Hugs i guess


153: Drunk or High: neither. You can have fun without alcohol or drugs


152: Phone or Online: both


151: Redheads or Black haired: both


150: Blondes or Brunettes: both. Honestly hair color doesn’t matter


149: Hot or cold: both


148: Summer or winter: summer but like winter is beautiful too (i just don’t like shoveling)


147: Autumn or Spring: both


146: Chocolate or vanilla: chocolate


145: Night or Day: both lol

 
144: Oranges or Apples: apples wellllll oranges no both (IM SORRY FOR BEING INDECISIVE)


143: Curly or Straight hair: curly


142: McDonalds or Burger King: McDonalds


141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate:both


140: Mac or PC: Mac


139: Flip flops or high heels: Flip flops for everyday wear and heels for events


138: Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor: sweet and poor


137: Coke or Pepsi: Coke


136: Hillary or Obama: OBAMA!!!


135: Buried or cremated: idk


134: Singing or Dancing: both


133: Coach or Chanel: Coach


132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks: idk


131: Small town or Big city: Both


130: Wal-Mart or Target: i like both but I shop at walmart more


129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler: Adam Sandler


128: Manicure or Pedicure: Manicure


127: East Coast or West Coast: hard choice


126: Your Birthday or Christmas: hmm


125: Chocolate or Flowers: which ever


124: Disney or Six Flags: Disney only because I’ve never been to six flags


123: Yankees or Red Sox: Red sox


[ Here’s What I Think About ]

122: War: I think it is dumb. Fighting over cultural difference shouldn’t happen instead it differences should be embraced. Who knows how many different wars there will be in my future let alone my future children’s.


121: George Bush: I honestly don’t have one


120: Gay Marriage: Everyone should be able to marry whomever they love. Why does it have to be voted on whether they can get married or not? Just let them live, be loved, and be happy.


119: The presidential election: It amazes me how he was elected. I am team Hillary. I have my opinions and you have yours. I respect that, but I’d rather not share mine.


118: Abortion: It is 2017, almost 2018, and women still don’t have control of their own bodies. I’m pro-choice. Abortion should be given as a choice to women. My mom had an abortion before she had me because she was really ill.


117: MySpace: haha never used it so don’t have an opinion about it


116: Reality TV: yeah it can be fun to watch but honestly what’s the point? Everyone’s own lives are hectic too


115: Parents: Some are great, some are bad. Some are controlling, some don’t care enough.


114: Back stabbers: I’ve dealt with many of you, but it’s your fault that you lost out on a great friend. Hated you guys for a while because I thought we were good friends, but I’m thankful toxic people like you are out of my life.


113: Ebay: is the shit. I got a crap ton of barbie clothes for my dolls when I was younger from there. Haven’t gone on there for a while tho


112: Facebook: the go-to app for when parents are around. That’s the only most censored app I have that I go on when they’re around


111: Work: wish I had one because all of my friends are making money, but once I get one I’ll wish I didn’t have a job so I can have more free time. It’s not like my parents will let me get a job anyways.


110: My Neighbors: Never really talk to any of my neighbors at my dads or my moms. Pretty sure they get annoyed with how loud I play my music


109: Gas Prices: i remember when it costed $5 or $6 a gallon. Please stay at $2.35 


108: Designer Clothes: hella cool but also hella expensive. Thankful for cute cheap stores because I’m about to be a broke college student


107: College: thankful for the opportunity to get a higher education, but it’s always super expensive. If more jobs require a degree, why can’t we just make it more efficient to get a degree with less money? But that’s also too much to ask for


106: Sports: I like watching it and playing it is also fun. 


105: My family: My parents divorced had me go through shit mentally and physically. (no they didn’t abuse me, their divorce was just difficult) I hope one day you two will stop acting like children and not beat down the other parent when we spend the night at your house. But I know it won’t ever end. I’m thankful my younger brothers won’t remember your divorce and they’re what keeps me going.

104: The future: I can’t wait to see what you hold. I can’t wait to go to college. I can’t wait to go into my career choice. I can’t wait to meet that special person. I can’t wait to start a family. I’m just excited for you
[ Last time I ]

103: Hugged someone: An hour ago when I put my brothers to sleep

102: Last time you ate: idk 2-3 hours ago


101: Saw someone I haven’t seen in a while: a year ago


100: Cried in front of someone: yesterday


99: Went to a movie theater: 2 years ago


98: Took a vacation: idk if you count it, but my school trip this past spring 


97: Swam in a pool: 2 years ago


96: Changed a diaper: 4 years ago


95: Got my nails done: I think I was 7? Idk I do my nail myself now


94: Went to a wedding: 12 years ago


93: Broke a bone: never broke a bone


92: Got a piercing: I got my ears pierced before I turned 1 and I got my nose pierced on my birthday last year


91: Broke the law: idk
90: Texted: like 5 min ago


[ MISC ]

89: Who makes you laugh the most: my brothers or my best friend Kate


88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is: Brothers or my doggo


87: The last movie I saw: Boss baby


86: The thing that I’m looking forward to the most: going to college, interning, and getting a job in my career (Ik it’s 3 things but I’m excited lol)


85: The thing i’m not looking forward to: Moving away from loved ones


84: People call me: Mia


83: The most difficult thing to do is: Forgive someone who hurt you badly. Like truly forgive them 


82: I have gotten a speeding ticket: never gotten a speeding ticket


81: My zodiac sign is: Virgo


80: The first person i talked to today was: My dad


79: First time you had a crush: 5 or 6 and it was on Zac Efron


78: The one person who i can’t hide things from: idk, maybee my best friend


77: Last time someone said something you were thinking: Yesterday 


76: Right now I am talking to: my internet besties ❤️


75: What are you going to do when you grow up: something in the music industry


74: I have/will get a job: whenever my parents let me


73: Tomorrow: I will get up early, ride on a bus for 3 hours, and march in a parade


72: Today: I cut my hair short AND I FUCKING LOVE IT


71: Next Summer: I will try to spend as much time with my bestfriend before we leave for different colleges


70: Next Weekend: I get to spend with my best friend


69: I have these pets: Beagle- Eskimo cross


68: The worst sound in the world: whining when they don’t get what they want or smacking gum


67: The person that makes me cry the most is: honestly whoever cries in front of me I will cry with them


66: People that make you happy: Family, my dog, and my friends


65: Last time I cried: yesterday


64: My friends are: honest and caring


63: My computer is: an old macbook pro but it still works and I love it


62: My School: is full of fake people and drama


61: My Car: Don’t have one


60: I lose all respect for people who: lie, cheat, and treat people like they are less than them


59: The movie I cried at was: I can’t remember but I think TFIOS


58: Your hair color is: brown


57: TV shows you watch: Shadowhunters, Raven’s Home, Jane the virgin, Riverdale, and others I can’t remember


56: Favorite web site: Tumblr or twitter


55: Your dream vacation: big city in new york with my best friend or toronto with my grand parents/aunts


54: The worst pain I was ever in was: during my parents divorce 


53: How do you like your steak cooked: medium rare


52: My room is: boring, cozy, and a little bit messy


51: My favorite celebrity is: Shawn Mendes, duh


50: Where would you like to be: Somewhere where I can say “I finally made it"


49: Do you want children: Yes!! I can’t wait to have kids


48: Ever been in love: I don’t think so


47: Who’s your best friend: Some beautiful, crazy, weird girl named Kate i guess (let’s see if she reads this later)


46: More guy friends or girl friends: I have more girl friends than I do guys, but I wish I had more guy friends


45: One thing that makes you feel great is: music


44: One person that you wish you could see right now: My grandpa


43: Do you have a 5 year plan: I guess yeah, but it’s very loosely planned


42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die: no


41: Have you pre-named your children: thought of names, but not planned them lol


40: Last person I got mad at: idk


39: I would like to move to: Cali, New york, by my grand parent in canada, and where I am now


38: I wish I was a professional: something in music


[ My Favorites ]

37: Candy: Sour gummy worms or cinnamon bears


36: Vehicle: Jeep
 or Range Rover

35: President: OBAMA


34: State visited: Illinois or Florida


33: Cell Phone provider: Sprint


32: Athlete: Jose Bautista 


31: Actor: Rupert Grint


30: Actress: Zendaya, Lucy Hale, or Emma Watson

29: Singer: Shawn Mendes or Selena Gomez


28: Band: R5 or 5SOS


27: Clothing store: Ross or American Eagle 


26: Grocery store: Walmart


25: TV show: Shadowhunters 


24: Movie: HARRY POTTER SERIES


23: Website: Again, tumblr or twitter


22: Animal: doggies or dolphins


21: Theme park: no clue


20: Holiday: christmas


19: Sport to watch: Baseball


18: Sport to play: Baseball or volleyball 


17: Magazine: Vogue


16: Book: The Mortal Instruments Series


15: Day of the week: Friday


14: Beach: Clear water in FL


13: Concert attended: Illuminate tour (on Aug 6th, 2017)


12: Thing to cook: Pasta anything


11: Food: chicken alfredo or pasta anything or anything really I’m not picky
 

10: Restaurant: Chinese restaurants 
 

9: Radio station: idk
 

8: Yankee candle scent: idk lol that pumpkin one??
 

7: Perfume: Signature by Shawn Mendes or Bombshell by VS
 

6: Flower: Pink hibiscus 
 

5: Color: aqua
 

4: Talk show host: Ellen Degeneres
 

3: Comedian: Jo Koy, Kevin Hart, or Gabriel Iglesias
 

2: Dog breed: honestly any breed
 

1: Did you answer all these truthfully?: of course 💕

[a-story-teller]

Lmao sooooo! My 18th birthday was a... I don’t take the Good Lord’s name in vain very often but God it was wild. I never thought I would say “last night was crazy” but last night was crazy. Much more under the cut. NSFW mentionings.

So I was at an anime/video game convention over the weekend, which ran from the 25th-27th. The con ran over my birthday (the 27th) and I quickly figured out since panels run late into the night, if I went to an 18+ panel past midnight on the Saturday schedule, it’d technically be the 27th and I could get in. 

So we made a do of it! My brother and sister and I went to a “dating game” panel run by a midwest-centered burlesque group and I got in with no shit from the security man. We went and sat near the front and basically it was ye olde 3-people-on-one-side-of-a-tarp-answer-questions-from-one-person-on-the-other-side setup. The one person on the other side, though clearly a member of the burlesque, was unknown to the contestants, and they were also most often in costume. 

We sit down. Things start. The announcer is in half a kigu and there are already sex jokes everywhere. They ask for their first contests, I raise my hand (the room was packed) and then yell “I just turned 18!” and the announcer’s like “then get your ass up here!” and then proceeds to gush over how cute me + my cosplay are. I’m contestant 2 and the questions start. I know myself well and I like to think I’m witty and by the time we’re nearing the end, I’m the crowd favorite. The whole thing is hilarious and I get chosen as the winner for this round! I come around the other side and the person is in a fucking sexy meowth cosplay lol and we hug and I get ushered backstage. 

The prize is a free print of any burlesque member (send nudes lmao). But before I can get to the print table my path is blocked by two burlesque guys, one of whom is already shirtless - junkrat cosplay, no duh - and the other, a team Instinct Spark cosplayer, immediately lifts his shirt and goes “You wanna touch?” and like. Bruh. This guy’s abs are amazing. I mean like “he said Kylo Ren was shredded” amazing. And God help me there’s even a bit of a happy trail. But what’s a girl to do when handed beautiful abs on a silver platter? So I just press my hand to it and like absorb the power and maybe get extremely flustered. Then the junkrat’s like “don’t I get some?” and me, being stunned stupid, just poke this kid’s abs instead of properly appreciating them. 

I bump around backstage watching the antics, sifting through large binders of nudes like it’s normal, standing next to a no-face cosplayer in high heels. I choose my picture - an artsy shot, only one tiddy out, able to be passed off as art reference should my mother ever find it. These are the things I think about. Everyone has been super duper nice and I head back to my seat with goods in hand, still reeling a bit from finding out what abs feel like, to chill with the sibs and laugh over all of it. We watch a bunch of the other rounds, the highlights of which include an extremely drunk contestant shaking her thong-clad bum at the crowd, telling everyone about how she’s been deprived by only having vanilla sex, and proceeding to invite up and snog, tongue included, a random woman from the audience; that no-face cosplayer slinkily pulling up the bottom of the skirt to reveal stockings and garters; and previously-mentioned Spark pulling down his pants to get “spanked” with the announcer’s flip-flop only to have her pull them off his butt, effectively mooning the audience. Remember, these are only the highlights. 

I slip backstage to get my print signed and take the opportunity (what, at this point, did I have to lose) to be like “can I just...” and full-on splay my hand on junkrat’s tiny ripped abs. Because the poke was wasted and I was doing this right. We laughed and had a couple jokes - he was super chill, really in character, the voice and everything - then I got my print back and returned to my seat. A couple more rounds go by, it’s funny as hell, I feel like all this is extremely surreal and I’ve entered into a much more interesting liminal space.

The panel ends and I come up to the Meowth chick because, just letting you know, I’ve been tossing around the idea of doing burlesque myself and I wonder if she has some tips on getting started. She sits me down all mom-like (seriously this crew was so amazing, considerate, warm, and welcoming omg) and tells me how she started, how she thought was the best way to get into it, and how to apply for this group specifically. She aks me how old I am and I’m like “18″ and she’s all “you’re a baby!!! :)” and I’m like “yeah, legit, I Just turned 18.″ Oh boy. The look on her face. She just starts yelling to the others like “It’s her BIRTHDAY! She’s EIGHTEEN!” and another member’s like “Oh gosh, we’re going to give you a present. Tell Spark to get over here.” And y’all I’m saying I can see the end. The light at the end of the tunnel. I turn to my sister like “I think I’m getting a lap dance...” lmao I’m losing it. I’m straight up questioning what parallel universe I’ve fallen into where I’m hailed as Cute by a large crowd and I’m about to be grinded on by a man who is ridiculously cut and I am Not mentally prepared for whatever might happen. But sure enough I’m shown to backstage, given a lone chair, and sit down in it. By the maker if, after all this, I’m getting a lap dance, then I am not letting my embarrassed bitch ass make things weird. 

But they tell me that if anything makes me uncomfortable to just say. I’m not going to describe the occurrence beyond three things: 1) upon seeing a short video clip after (no, not available for viewing sdklsadghgh) I realized it had been hella noisy the whole time but I’d been so preoccupied I had barely noticed there was Anyone else around 2) where the Fuck are you supposed to look? Eyes? Abs? At least the butt is safe and 3) How is simply bumping noses with someone Hot ???? asks a total virgin.

It ended and I was equal parts glad it was over and like got dammmmmn what the fuck man. I was pretty pink. Spark was totally peppy and cool as a cucumber, like, “Did you like it? I’ve been practicing!!” and I’m like, “Yeah, yeah, it was great!” and he just sort of goes, “Oh, I’m glad, you were very stoic and I wasn’t sure.” Brev. Why I gotta stress about e v e r y t h i n g. That’s called a poker face and it broke exactly Once, at which point I giggled and covered my mouth. But it was the abs. Again. Of course. If you ever need to know my kryptonite, apparently it’s impeccable abs. 

But then I talked with the members a bit more, thanked everyone for the shower of special treatment, and we exited the panel room. I was Shook for the whole night, still am rn, and tbh the three things I left thinking were: 1) when you don’t drink you can Remember all the crazy shit that happens, not to mention stay in control of your behavior, I have no reason to Want to drink 2) people get paid to do stuff like stand and make jokes on a stage wearing a kigu, bra, and flip flops part of the time and spend the other part wearing nice costumes and lingerie and dancing, and I would like to be one of them 3) I Gotta get over this whole being jittery thing, me no likey. 

But no it was Nuts in more ways than one and I swear this thing is the whole truth and nothing but the truth, despite how wack it sounds. Trust me, it was wack for me too. But it was a fantastic time, biggest deal I’ve ever had made for my birthday, and now I guess I won’t need a bachelorette party. 

[rough-tweed-action]

🔥 about tjlc and the tinfoil hat conspiracists

This is a tough one. I'm guessing my opinion (why are they doing this to themselves?) is actually a popular one. So, an unpopular opinion about these people, hmm.

Have you seen Rowan Atkinson's sketch about Toby the Devil? He welcomes souls to hell and divides them into groups: murderers, thieves, French and lastly, Christians. 'Christians? Ah yes, I’m sorry, I’m afraid the Jews were right.' Apart from being hilarious, it makes me wonder: what if we, the non-johnlockers, are wrong and they are right? What if everything I think I know about Sherlock is wrong because I'm a straight, adult woman and judging from the post-TFP dramatic posts, the majority of the cult consists of gay youth. What if BBC Sherlock really is a romantic story and I saw none of that because I'm biased?

What if they were rightfully angry after series 4? I mean, from what I heard, they predicted TAB's content pretty well. Maybe they aren't as delusional as we think. Maybe they were, in fact, portrayed on the show not only as the First TJCLer Hudders but also as the league of furies. Maybe today's gay youth needs more recognition than suffragettes. I don't know.

What if Mofftiss did betray them? What if they intentionally made Sherlock gay and John bi to attract the attention of gay fans? What if they wanted to give them the kiss, but the BBC didn't let them?What if Mark Gatiss, who seems like a lovely person, is actually the evil incarnate and a homophobic, cruel gay who likes to torment people like him? How can I tell? I don't know him. What if Mofftiss are lying liars who lie about lying about lying about lying and they really are playing a long game here. Maybe they intentionally made series 4 not gay and hurt the fans only to make the kiss in series 5 sweeter? Who can tell?

Did Gatiss honestly tell gay fans via Mary that it doesn't matter who they really are? Would he do that? Will he and Moffat butcher Dracula and make him not explicitly gay?

What if I, a Sheriarty shipper, completely misinterpreted the Moriarty episodes? What if Sherlock is, in fact, scared of Moriarty and there's no chemistry? Perhaps Sherlock wanted to catch Moriarty to save John and be gay with him? Could the Sheriarty content be just a cynical milkshake to lure the hungry Fannibals to the yard? What if the Sheriarty scene from TAB was not sentimentally and sexually charged? What if Moriarty's motivation was 'if I can't have you, then no one can'? WHAT IF SHERLOCK JUST HAD A GUN IN HIS POCKET AND WASN’T PLEASED TO SEE HIM?

What if Adlock isn't canon? Is Irene's theme really a johnlock theme? The person who deflowered Sherlock, Irene or John? Were Irene's pupils dilated because she was scared? Did she say 'Well I am [gay], look at us both' to prove there was no Adlock, not because saying 'Well I am bisexual' would make no sense? Were all the reminders of Irene meaningless? Do I ship it bc I'm straight? Was I.... straight-baited?

Was it a coincidence that Sherlock said 'I'm you' to Jim and played Irene's theme when asked to play himself? Was the Adlock/Sheriarty mash-up (TAB) unimportant? Is Sherlock actually attracted only to his exact opposite, John boring dull predictable Watson?

What if that Arwel guy is not a funny person who likes elephants and things that glow? What if he taunted the cult with gay elephants all those years? I'm actually surprised to have heard of the Eurus' glass elephant just recently and not from a cult member. Huh. Is the glowing skull a secret sign? What if the billboards from HLV were not a coincidence?

And what if all the small inconsistencies like the disappearing John from the T6T scene with Hopkins are, in fact, important? Look, as a Holmescest shipper, I watched the Unwise, brother mine scene many, many times. Two inconsistencies there. 

What if the First TJLCer and John are actually likeable characters? Is John's abusive behaviour excusable bc of sexual frustration and being closeted? Was his awful comment about Mycroft (what goes around comes around) justified? We may never know.

Is johnlock actually a sweet, lovely, vanilla ship, romantic and pure? Despite all the women deceived and used to stop the gossip? It bothers me, actually. Maybe it's because I think that honesty in any relationship is crucial. Did Sherlock and John really flirt with each other in Mary's or Irene's presence? Did John make a decision to marry Mary just to prove he's straight, although he could have just ditch the bitch and make out with his loved-up booooooooooyfriend? Is it ok for a bi-curious person to lie to their straight partner and use them a shield? Should I root for a gay couple who try to get together on the fucking WEDDING RECEPTION in front of the clueless bride? Is this good? Do I find it disgusting and inexcusable bc I'm not gay? Maybe it is a gay fantasy, the opposite of the hetero wish to turn a gay person straight?  Mystery.

Is this theory that the true villain of BBC Sherlock is anyone who thinks Sherlock is not gay right? Do I erase an important part of his personality bc I don't want Sherlock the fictional character to be happy the way he should have been from the start? Was ACD inspired by Oscar Wilde and the original Sherlock Holmes was in as gay as Wilde? Did Watson invent Mary Morstan to be safely gay with Holmes?

Is the unaired pilot gay and I can't see it bc I am not? Did Sherlock say that he knew being gay is fine not because John said his 'which is fine' the way I say 'I do like the Germans and I’m not scared of the German nationalism and do not resent them for using the most hideous language in the world, no sir'? Did Sherlock never correct the people who assumed he was John's boyfriend not because he simply didn't care what they thought about him?

What if Mary killed herself to make Sherlock commit suicide? What if Sherlock hated her the whole time and only pretended he liked her, so very convincingly? Did he and John conspire to murder her while she was heavily pregnant and sipped tea in John's chair? Was she the real Moriarty? Did she work for CAM? For Mycroft? Did the homicidal Sherlock and John try to protect her from Ajay because... they wanted to kill her themselves?

Was the Warstan reunion in HLV not sweet and realistic but sinister? Did John threaten her while she was pregnant with his child?

Is the *sigh* M theory true? Moriarty, Mary and Magnussen using Mycroft to destroy johnlock? Because nothing else that universe is more important than these two Brits licking Marmite off the other's prick.

What if our perception of the acronym cult is wrong? Maybe it's not just toxic. Maybe it helps its members embrace their sexuality. Maybe they were just trying to defend themselves? Maybe the only member who needed therapy was one of the leaders? Was it ok for another leader, the one who's still active, to respond to my message by going through my blog and judging the content? Despite my having mentioned twice in the message that I was just curious and had no evil intentions. I'm no expert.

Is the concept of a slow-burn romance (with a huge portion of miscommunication) between John and Sherlock possible? Wouldn't Sherlock just say: 'John, we should kiss, for science!' or John, when Sherlock returned, 'I have missed you so much. Don't ever leave again. Also, I love you, I can say this now.'

Did the suggestion to name the baby Sherlock actually meant 'I wish we have got married, I'd love to be your Sherlock Watson'? Did John the free widower say 'the chance doesn't last forever' and put so much emphasis on the word 'alive' because... I dunno, really.

Does John's 'I am not gay/not Sherlock's boyfriend' mean: 'I'm bisexual and would love to show Sherlock some military discipline'? Wouldn’t bi-John feel comfortable with Hudders, enough to tell her his secret?

Was John's reaction to Mary's death really less emotional than his reaction to Sherlock's suicide?

Was John's WTF when Janine strode out of Sherlock's bedroom jealousy and not the strong feeling that Sherlock either changed overnight or was doing some serious bullshitting?

Is Sherlock’s reaction to Janine and that other female character flirting with him a definite proof that he does not want to offer his virginity to a woman? Even... The Woman?

Was the idea of Warstan bad enough to make Sherlock suicidal on FIVE separate occasions? I counted: the sad, suicidal chips in TEH, the conversation with Sholto through the door, the post-wedding relapse that was NOT for a case, the TAB overdose and the TLD relapse. Dude. Sherlock, son, maybe find a hobby.

Did Mofftiss lose their minds and made not one but TWO 'all in your head' series? Is John dying? Is Sherlock in a coma? Was Eurus real? Is Redbeard a dog? Do I care?

Are Adlock and Smallcroft shippers delusional bc both Holmes brothers are so obviously gay? Is it all right to say that a character's sexual orientation cannot be different from the actor's (but only if the actor is gay)? Does Gatiss have a right to play or create non-gay characters?  Is he morally obliged to make every Sherlock character gay? Does he owe anything to the gay community?

What if having your otp work together and raise a kid together is not enough?

WAS THE LAZARUS REAL? I do agree with finalproblem on this particular subject, 100%.

Is Jim Moriarty alive? Is Mary alive? Is Rosie real?

IS FUCKY a real, useable word?

WAS IT HUDDERS WHO SAID 'SOFTER, SHERLOCK' IN TFP??? That old, stoned witch, I knew I shouldn't trust her.

WHAT IF THERE WILL BE A LOST SPECIAL/LOST GAY BAR SCENE/THE KISS AND WE, THE NON-BELIEVERS/CASUAL ANTIS, WILL DIE OF SHOCK AND CHOKE ON OUR HOMOPHOBIA?

WHAT IF IT WAS TWINS???

Seriously, though. Do I think conspiracy theorists are crazy in real life? No. I think I'm fairly normal despite my strong belief that General Sikorski was murdered by the British. I will NEVER accept that it was an accident. Never. 

Thank you, that was a journey. 

[pxlimpsest]

OPEN PLOTS: KIM INSEONG // muse list

quick details: kim inseong, 24, sex toy shop employee & erotica ghostwriter. but he’s a complete virgin (hello irony). super nice, but super weird. smiles a lot. maybe even too much.

i retrieved these plots from inseong’s old account, from when he was still in a directory. i thought i’d put them on here for anyone interested in interacting with him. i’d love to have more plots/interactions since i love him so much. and i need happier muses. he’s pretty much a crack muse, so i thought it’ll be fun. there’s angst in there somewhere for anyone into that kinda shit. i know i am. you can hit me up via ask/tumblr IM if you see anything you like - you can like this post and i’ll come to you instead!

thank you!

PRE-ESTABLISHED:

there was a time before you, but i can’t remember it now.

reality check ( m/f ) - OPEN (2)

you always feel the need to remind me that the reason i’m a single, inexperienced virgin is because i’m gay. and, apparently, everyone but me knows about it? do i give off some kind of vibe? i’m not gay. i’m just a simple, single, inexperienced virgin.

ex girl ( f ) - OPEN (2) we dated for awhile in college (a couple of months to a year or so), but broke up with no hard feelings involved. we still hang out from time to time - except now you have the audacity to tell me it wouldn’t have worked out anyway because i’m gay? what is with this slander? where do people get this information?

i’ll cover  you ( f ) - OPEN (1) we dated for awhile in high school/college (a couple of months to a year or so), but broke up with a lot of hard feelings involved on your part. you’re mad at me because you think i used you as a beard. why would i use you to cover up my sexuality? i have nothing to hide!

come and go ( f ) - OPEN (2) you’re always here. why are you always here? have you no shame at all walking in and out of a sex shop? do you even plan on buying anything? – basically that one friend who’s just there to bother him during work hours.

slow me down ( m/f ) - OPEN (2) sometimes i get way too invested in my writing that you have to forcefully drag me back to reality. you’re always there for me during my mental breakdowns, and i’ll always be there for you. i guess that’s what best friends are for.

lot to learn ( m/f ) - OPEN (2) you have way more sexual experiences than i ever will, which is why i’m always trying to get information out of you. i need it for this damn story. i have a deadline in a week. you gotta help me.

home ( m/f ) - OPEN (3) since my mom is always in busan, and i’m left alone most days at home, you’re always staying over to keep me company. it’s always a fun time, and i appreciate it. ilu my dude.

by 2am ( m/f ) - OPEN (2) it’s always your quest to get laid (or, mostly, get me laid), but i’m too old (at twenty-fucking-four years old) to keep up with all your partying. how are you not tired yet? how is it only 11pm? i need another drink.

ROMANTIC:

this is the foolish refrain of the hopelessly devoted.

seven days ( m ) - OPEN (2) can two people really fall in love in just seven days? we’re both single, and possibly even lonely. want to try dating exclusively for a week? (guess it won’t hurt to try.)

when i grow up ( m ) - OPEN the first guy i’ve ever dated (and possibly even loved). we ended things on a bad note because i was in denial about everything, told you this meant nothing when, in fact, it’s the opposite. now that we’re older, will you give me another chance?

toy ( m ) - OPEN (1) you used me as a “sexual awakening” experiment, and i let you. there aren’t any feeling involved, right? (could be the other way around)

lover dearest ( m ) - OPEN (1) a dysfunctional/toxic relationship. one or both of us are in the closet. probably lots of fighting.

between us ( m ) - OPEN (1) you’re straight/have a girlfriend, and i’m in love with you. (simple as that, but could go so many ways.)

different worlds ( m ) - OPEN (1) the first time. i decided you’re taking my v-card, and you’re down with it. i’m only doing this so i can write my book… or is it because i actually want to give you everything?

WORK:

and i, who have never thought in terms of life, think to myself that i could make a life out of this.

boom boom ( m ; working nearby ) - OPEN (2) the work crush. i always visit you during breaks with the excuse that i just really like to eat here/look around. you don’t seem to mind, and we’re pretty good friends, so i’m not about to ruin it and admit that i’m actually here because i like you and think you’re hella cute.

if u wanna ( m/f ) - OPEN (2) the work best friend. we try to get the same shifts, and are always in each other’s shops being obnoxious during one of our breaks. it’s a miracle neither of us is fired for it yet.

the regulars ( m/f ) - OPEN ( ∞ ) considering  we sell sex toys, and you almost always come out of the shop with a purchase, you must have a very exciting (or peculiar) sex life.

new meat ( m/f ) - OPEN ( ∞ ) it’s your first time in a sex shop? looking to experiment? don’t look so embarrassed! we’ve all been there. come, come. let me show you these rows of colorful dildos.

waiting room ( m/f ) - OPEN ( ∞ ) it’s a slow day at work, and i didn’t notice you coming in. i’m surprised you’re trying to strike up a conversation about what i’m reading instead of the sex toys we’re selling. but - wait, you like this book/manga, too?

a twist in my story ( m/f ) - OPEN ( ∞ ) i was furiously typing some half-assed erotic draft on my laptop/phone behind the counter, and didn’t notice you reading over my shoulder. you comment, and now we’re talking about sex, and hey, that’s really insightful information. i could use that.

come back home ( m/f ) - OPEN (3) we always walk home together after work. sometimes we grab some dinner, and hang out at each other’s places if there’s no work the next day.

vanilla iced coffee ( m/f ; cafe employee) - OPEN i’m a regular at your cafe, and sometimes visit thrice (or more) a day to order the same drink. you’re getting worried about my caffeine intake.

SITUATIONAL:

moments into minutes, minutes into hours.

night changes ( m/f ) - OPEN (2) we went on a date/to hang out, and everything just seems to be going wrong. are we running on a streak of bad luck or something?

blind date ( m ) - OPEN (2) you know that thing where we’re the only two gay people they know? yeah? well, this blind date happened because of that. not that i’m gay or anything, but you’re really fucking cute, my dude.

finally ( m/f ) - OPEN (2) i accidentally blurted out i was gay, for the first time in my life, and you’re the first person to hear it. i’m giving you three seconds to judge me, and then flee - don’t give me that look! it’s not like this is some epiphany! wait, why are you patting my back–

flightless bird ( m/f ) - OPEN (2) damn, this is turning out to be some storm. looks like we’re stuck here for awhile. it’s almost closing time, too. (stranded together during a rain/snow storm)

[fabglance1]

#XD30 - Day 6 - ‘GOOD’

She looked down at her hand, a flawless cushion cut diamond sat perched on her ring finger. She still couldn’t believe it. They night they’d had, the way he proposed, all those flowers, and the fact that she got him by being a good girl. Jordan and Jack were celibate during their entire courtship. It was so hard for her not to fall to the temptation, but now it was all worth it when she looked at the rock on her hand. She was ready to grow a family with the love of her life.

  “Let me see it! Let me see that ring girl!” Jordan’s best friend Kia was already squealing from across the restaurant. Right behind her was Tasha, Jordan’s favorite cousin. The three girls grew up together. They were Jordan’s door to the real world when her dad wouldn’t let her do fun stuff.

  After Jordan’s Mom died, her father didn’t know what to do with the little girl. The thought of raising a girl child all by himself was too scary for him to comprehend. So, he headed to church. Jordan grew up under the watchful eye of the women of Greater Harvest Church of God in Christ. She often thought they cared so much because they were trying to date her dad. But he never entertained one woman in that church. He was a devoted volunteer, member of the deacon board, and did pro-bono work when someone’s son got in trouble.

  Jordan was often told how pretty she was with her green eyes and chocolate skin. But, she was inadvertently taught that compliments from boys were bad. The devil was in those little mannish boys and only fast-tailed girls entertained their games. If he wasn’t almost like Jesus, he’d never do her any good. She was taught to wear her skirts long, keep her silky hair pulled back, and never open her legs until marriage.

  And Jordan believed it. She prided herself on holding on to her virginity through high school, college, and Law school. She always made sure to keep herself busy by going to the gym, volunteering in the community, and pursuing her education. Jordan graduated with honors and won numerous awards. Walking in her father’s footsteps she practiced law with the best of intentions. She prided herself on being honest with her clients and helping them even if she didn’t see a win.

  Kia and Tasha always made sure that Jordan wasn’t so heavenly minded that she was no earthly good. In high-school the pair persuaded Jordan to stop dressing like the Clark Sisters and more like TLC. In college, the girls knew that Jordan wasn’t having sex, but made sure she knew about birth control. By the end of Law School Jordan had found her balance. No longer a member of the COGIC girls of America, she didn’t feel guilty wearing a pair of pants, going on a cruise to Jamaica, or having a sip of wine every so often.

  But sex, sex was something she would not budge on. By the age of 29, Jordan was still holding up the standard. She’d only seen a real-life penis two times in her life: once with her high school boyfriend an again with her college beau. Jordan dated often, because of her good looks and cool demeanor, but didn’t stay in relationships long due to her no-sex rule.

  “Not even ORAL!” Jack said, looking at the gorgeous girl sitting on his couch. “You’re trying to tell me; you’ve never had a guy put his lips on your … lips!? You are almost 30!”

  It was their third date and Jack had invited Jordan to his downtown apartment. With floor to ceiling windows, hard wood floors, and kitchen fit for a celebrity chef, bringing a woman back to his house was a sure way get her naked. And he wanted to see Jordan naked! He remembered watching her walk into the gym just weeks earlier.  

  That day he spotted the slender yet toned lawyer chat with the gym owner, put her hair in a ponytail, change her sneakers, and start her workout. He didn’t mean to stare, but she was just so smooth and her smile so radiant. He’d never seen a woman come to that gym and generally enjoy being there. She worked out for exactly an hour, picked up her bag and left. The next day Jack spotted her again, same routine, different color work-out gear. He didn’t understand how he never saw her previously, but now he saw her almost daily.

  By the end of the next week he got up the nerve to ask her on a date. She smiled, but declined. Looking at Jack she knew he’d be no good. He was just too attractive. Standing at 6'5", slim basketball build, wearing the newest Air Max running shoes, she knew he was out of her league. His pecan-colored skin looked so smooth as he asked her questions about her life. She still gave him her number, thinking he’d be a good friend. He called daily and they talked a lot.

  Jack was new in the city. He experienced a horrible break-up and his best friend persuaded him to come to her town. Jack took a job at an investment firm, moving away from all the heartbreaks of living in Atlanta. It was nice to be back in the same place as his best friend and entertaining a beautiful young lady.

  “So what you’re saying is, if I choose to date you, we ain’t having sex?” Jordan nodded her head, “for how long? 90 days or something?”

  “Until I get married. Maybe I’ll marry you, maybe not. But it’s what I believe and its what God wants for my life.” She stood firm on her decision, although her knees were shaking. After just three dates, she had really fallen for Jack. He was funny, smart, and just the right amount of nasty to keep her emails to Tasha and Kia entertaining. If she was gonna give her virginity to someone, she wanted it to be someone like Jack, married of course.

  Jack sat next to her, she could feel the heat from his body. She could smell the faint scent of cologne. She watched him search her to see if she was full of BS or truly genuine. This was the part she hated. She’d been here before. All the men she dated would act like they could be celibate, but then they’d break. She’d been cheated on more times than she had fingers and hoped this one wouldn’t do the same.

  “Alright. I believe you. I guess I’m gonna be dating a green-eyed virgin. You are really like a unicorn, you know that?”

  “Just, please tell me if you can’t take it. Don’t cheat on me. Don’t lie to me. Just leave if you can’t take it.” She batted her long eyelashes and looked jack straight in his face. Jack suddenly felt nervous. He hadn’t had a woman hold him accountable in a long time. He hadn’t had a woman be so straight forward. Jordan, although quiet and chill, withheld the demeanor of an earthquake. You didn’t know when she was going to break, but you better be prepared when she did.

  The next five months were blissful. Jack had never experienced the type of affection that Jordan gave him. What they didn’t do in the bedroom she more than made up for in other places. The girl could cook, she had amazing style, she knew all the right people, and they liked the same movies. She wasn’t an extrovert like Jack (who never met a stranger), but her unspoiled honesty and considerate attention excited him. She had a small circle of friends, a couple of great colleagues, and frequented her church about three Sundays a month. She was regimented and often talked about how her routine kept her true to herself and closer to God.

  She even got Jack to start coming to church with her. She told him if he’d just listen to the word of God and not be so focused on the actions of men, he’d understand why her religion was so important to her. Jack started to see God through Jordan’s eyes and loved her even more for it. He wasn’t at church when the doors opened, but he did play basketball with the men’s ministry and found some fraternity brothers who attended just as often as he did. Jordan was right, focusing on something other than sexual conquest helped their relationship get stronger. He knew this was the woman he wanted to marry.

  When Jack told Ahlia he wanted to marry Jordan, she was pleased. She liked Jordan, and was happy to see her best friend happy.  She was also glad to have her friend back in town. Ahlia and Jack hadn’t lived in the same city since their high school days. After, Jack went to Morehouse and Ahlia went to Fordham, they found very little time to kick it. During her junior year, Ahlia went to a Study Abroad program which allowed her to study in Cambodia for two years while finishing her undergrad degree and starting her Master’s program. The two would communicate through email and a random phone calls, but the romantic feelings they shared as teens seemed to disappear. Jack asked Ahlia to come help him pick out the ring, and Ahlia went.

  On the night of the proposal, Jack rented a gorgeous hotel suite, he purchased 150 white long stem roses, several dozen candles that smelled of rose oil, vanilla, and jasmine, along with plates of all Jordan’s favorite desserts. He arranged everything in the room. He left a hand-written letter at her office telling him to meet him at the hotel wearing the dress accompanied in the letter. That night he told her that she changed his life and he wanted her to be his wife. She kindly accepted snapping photos of her giant ring and informing her friends. She, so, wanted to have sex with him that night, but didn’t. Instead, she let him see her naked for the first time telling him to promise not to touch. He obliged.

  The next morning, Jack texted Ahlia the great news. Ahlia looked at the photos of Jordan’s excited face and Jack amazing smile. She replied that she was, “sooooooo happy for them!” and that she, “couldn’t wait for the big day!” Putting the phone down she had a sudden pain in her chest. Were these old feelings coming back? Of course, not! She was SO over Jack. That was puppy love, they were adults now. He’s marry Jordan and they’d have an amazing life. She’d find her true love and do the same.

She texted Jordan and Jack in a group message saying, “If you need any help with the wedding, let me know. Love you guys! You’re lil sis!”