#i guess this is also kind of a prompt?

[lucalicatteart]

 sculpted a strange shimmery two headed snail, speckled with wild flowers on it's shell~

[teleport-warning]

Day 2: Rebirth

[delta-piscium]

@steddie-week day 1: Hunger | 1.1k words cw: light angst in that Steve is a little sad/dealing with some mental stuff but like hurt/comfort (not EDs which mental stuff combined with the prompt word might make it seem like, hunger is used as a metaphor)

Sometimes Steve doesn’t talk to anyone for days. He just shuts himself in his room and hides, barely leaves his bed. Pretends he doesn’t exist, or that time has stopped and he’s the only thing that exists.

Sometimes, he’ll go back too soon, feel bad for the ignored calls and drag himself out of bed to see the people who matter most to him. But it won’t feel warm and soft those times. He’ll be too raw and It’ll feel like they’re grabbing his insides and eating them. Pulling his heart and brain out of his body and devouring them without letting him eat theirs in return. 

Usually, he’s okay with that. He knows his place, he knows that’s what he’s for. For other people to get fed. And he’s happy to feed, to do that for them. 

He loves them, of course he’s gonna give himself over. It’s just that sometimes they take too much. They don’t know they do he thinks, they don’t know they’re eating him alive. That he’s presenting himself on a silver platter and letting them take take take, and that sometimes they take too much.

That’s why he disappears, so he can grow back. So he can give more. Because if he stops giving he's afraid they’ll get tired. He won’t be useful, he can’t give when he’s like that. He starts craving, he starts wanting. He feels starved and wants to take and feed too, and that’s not part of the deal. He’s not supposed to eat, he’s supposed to be eaten. So when he turns hungry and ravenous he hides, he isolates. 

Robin is the only one who truly gets this about him, who doesn’t take and demand. She gently accepts the things he gives and never without giving too, forcing him to stay whole. It’s overwhelming and sometimes he has to hide from that too, he doesn’t know how to deal with the force of it. He’s so used to the constant hunger it’s a shock when it’s gone but he’s gotten better. And anyway, he and Robin are part of one whole so whatever is given or taken between them is never really gone. It stays with both of them.

Robin is the only one, or she was the only one he should say. Because now there’s Eddie. Eddie who gives and gives and gives, almost as much as he does. But who doesn’t seem to dwindle and dim like Steve does. Who doesn’t seem to starve or hunger. Eddie who notices when Steve does, when he stumbles and gets greedy. Who holds him up and makes him whole with a look, a touch, a word. 

Eddie who breaks in through his window when he shuts himself in his big empty house and lays with him in his bed, softly telling Steve stories and running his fingers through his hair. 

It’s wonderful.

It's the worst. 

“I’m afraid you’re gonna end up as empty as me,” Steve tells him, whispers it into the dark. “That you’re here now and you’re giving and I’m taking and you’re gonna be the one left with nothing.” 

Eddie doesn’t respond immediately but hums in acknowledgment, lets him know he heard and is thinking. 

“This is good for me too,” he says eventually, “being with you and resting. Getting to be here for you when you never used to let anyone but Robin be. It’s good for me too.” 

“It can be good and still drain you.” Says Steve, knows it to be true. He doesn’t resent giving the way he does, he loves it, it’s good. It drains him. 

“Yeah,” Eddie agrees, “this doesn’t drain me, you’re comforting me too. It’s balanced.” 

Balanced. That’s what Robin tells him too. That’s what Nancy sometimes asked him for when they dated and he couldn’t let her see the cracks. That’s what he wonders about with his other friends. 

He doesn’t usually know how to do that. He doesn’t know where the lines are. He doesn’t understand how Eddie knows. 

“You let me give, and I let you give, so it’s balanced. We don’t take from each other, we gift and we receive. It’s balanced. You have to let other people give sometimes too, Steve.” 

It hits something deep in him, the last words. He knows this, he doesn’t want to know it. 

“I’m afraid they won’t. if I open myself up to it. If I ask, I’m afraid they won’t.” He says it so quietly it’s almost inaudible but Eddie hears. 

His hands still in Steve’s hair for a moment before moving again, gently scratching his scalp. 

“I know baby. But that’s not fair, they want to give too. If they knew how much they took without giving back they’d be heartbroken. It’s not fair to you or them.” 

Steve lets Eddies words wash over him, he knows he’s right. They’d be nauseous with it. His sweet wonderful friends and family would be crushed.

“Sometimes it will happen, maybe,” Eddie continues when Steve doesn’t respond beyond a sharp breath in. “Sometimes people won’t know how to give after only getting but you gotta let them try. Sometimes they’ll learn and adjust, sometimes they won’t and you’ll have to deal with that. But you can’t starve yourself like this because you won’t let them try.” 

"What if I take too much?"

"Then they talk to you, like you should talk to them."

“When did you get so wise,” Steve snorts, his voice is tight but he makes the effort, tries to lighten the mood. Deflects, like he always does. 

Eddie lets him, a little, knows Steve has to. But he’s still serious when he answers.

“Wayne is like a never-ending well of insight and digging around in everything, never lets me get away with shit.” 

The opposite of Steve’s parents who were the first to take from him and never give, never look into his eyes and tell him to eat. 

“He’s a good guy,” Steve tells Eddie instead of weighing him down more than he already has. Instead of acknowledging and relieving the hunger pang that strikes him at the thought. Even now, here, he doesn’t know how. 

“Yeah,” Eddie agrees. “I’m here to relay his wisdom, like playing telephone with whatever stuff he teaches me. The things your parents took away from you.”

Eddie still knows, of course, he does. He always knows.

“And what do you get?” Steve has to ask.

“I get you. I get everything.”

Steve smiles, turns around to kiss Eddie. He doesn’t feel empty when Eddie kisses him back, hungry. When he takes and devours. 

[strangersails]

billy tries so hard not to fall in love with steve harrington once they start having occasional sex, because steve is going to go college and billy knows for a fact that he doesn’t need no long-distance relationship on the phone, because the last time somebody promised him on the phone that they weren’t gonna leave billy, it was his mother and then she left him.

so he’s just constantly putting space between him and steve, so that steve knows where the line is, between them. billy tries really hard by calling him by his family name (like yes, i let you fuck me, but that’s it), by leaving him five minutes straight after they reach the orgasm without many words and disappearing for god knows how long.

“you can stay for five minutes, you know that, right? it’s not like somebody’s going after you or anything” steve says one time.

“i have places to go, harrington” he answers nonchalantly, lighting the cigarette hanging from his lips.

billy declines steve’s invitations to grab something to eat, cuts off almost every attempt steve makes to talk about something, until eventually steve stops trying to get whatever he’s trying to get from him.

the thing is, steve stops going to parties he knows billy’s going to go to too, and if they accidentally meet in somebody’s kitchen or doorsteps, he’ll actively start avoiding him. which is a problem, cause that means no sex. not that billy has trouble finding somebody else. he just... doesn’t want to. and the way steve literally walks away every single time billy steps in the room and looks immediately away like he even hates the sight of him, makes billy feel kinda bad.

he gets out on the porch of somebody’s house at a party one night to light a cigarette, when he sees steve sitting on the front steps with a girl next to him. he sees the boy’s face drop as soon as their eyes meet.

“jesus, he’s everywhere” billy swears he hears him say.

it’s actually ridiculous the fact that he has to make up an excuse to get to talk to him, but he doesn’t want steve to avoid him forever. also he could use a good fuck tonight.

so he just “you got a light?” asks, specifically to him, in case the girl next to him is wondering.

and it’s not like steve can really say no, since he’s literally playing with his fancy lighter in his hand.

harrington stands up and walks to him so slow, this time he can’t even bat his eyes and move them somewhere far from billy’s figure.

billy takes his time to let the pack of marlboro slip out of the pocket of the denim jacket. he doesn’t even bother to hide the lighter that’s just right inside. he sees steve roll his eyes in the back of his head and can’t keep but grin at that.

he puts the cigarette between his lips and gets closer to steve to let him light it, but it takes several tries to even get a little spark.

“let me try” he asks, and then gently grabs the little thing in his hand, making sure to touch the other guy’s fingers in the process. when he menages to start the cigarette, he inhales deeply, keeping his eyes high on steve’s face.

steve, that swallows loudly at the sight. like he likes what he sees.

“can we talk for a second? before you go?” billy asks, letting the lighter slip in the front pocket of steve’s jeans, with his fingers pierced inside of it to give him a little pull closer.

steve gives him a long, intense stare. “why?” he asks after a moment, trying not to be loud.

“cause i need to talk to you” billy says, and the knows that’s a stupid answer, but what else can he say?

steve shakes his head, pulls billy’s fingers out of his pocket, then says “that means nothing. why should i talk to you if you don’t even give a shit?”

billy feels his blood run down from head to toe like a hot shower as soon as steve calls him out. it’s pure guilt. he watches him turn around, ready to go, and then grabs his arm and pulls him again, closer this time. “because i miss you.”

billy doesn’t even realize he’s said that out loud until he sees steve’s eyes widen. steve looks at him for a very long moment, like he’s trying to figure out if it’s a bullshit or if he’s being serious. then his eyes drop on the hand billy still has around his arm. he lets him go.

they eventually get left alone by robin — that’s steve’s friend’s name — and move the conversation to a quieter place. and now billy doesn’t know what to say. it’s not like he programmed anything.

“so? what do you want?” steve starts, and the fact that it sounds like an accuse stresses billy out even more.

“why are you avoiding me?” billy asks, straight to the point.

“why not? that’s how you like it.” steve folds his arms in his chest. “the silence, the leaving. that’s what you do. you know, it’s not like i expected anything special or whatever. but you barely even say ‘see you around’ to me when you leave. you don’t even talk to me. that has nothing to do with sex, it’s just. the bare minimum. human decency, if you’ve ever heard that before. so what, you can not talk to me, but i can’t?”

billy feels a twinge in his stomach at those words. he feels called out. it’s true, his manners are questionable, and yes, that was purposeful, because he needed harrington to stay back. stay back, not vanish.

also this stupid hurt face steve’s got while he talks makes him want to slap himself in the face.

“what was that now, by the way?” steve speaks again while billy tries to find his voice back. “the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me was probably that i have a pretty mouth and that was while it was wrapped around your dick, so it doesn’t even count. and now what, you miss me?” steve has his face bright red while he talks. “how fucking stupid do you think i am?”

“i don’t” he says, finally.

“oh, trust me, i know you don’t miss me, you just want to empty your balls” steve says, and lets his arms fall still at his sides.

that’s the moment billy loses it and pushes his mouth against steve’s. he doesn’t even think anymore, he lets himself be guided by his instincts. steve opens his mouth almost immediately to let billy’s tongue go past his lips. he pushes steve against the side of the house, chest to chest, grabbing his face with both his hands, and steve whines in his mouth, but lets billy savor him. it’s the first time they kiss.

billy eventually pulls back, a wet sound filling the air before the heavy breathing.

“i don’t think you’re stupid” billy clarifies right after, still short on breath. “that’s what i meant.”

steve is red around his mouth, probably from all the pushing and sucking, and the thought is kinda distracting right now. he looks out of breath and words and his lips are still parted and wet and swollen. billy has missed him so much.

“look, i know i’m an asshole” billy says, still so close to him. “and i know apes have better mannerism than i have, that i look like i don’t give a shit. but that. is nothing personal. okay? i’m just not a people person, i need constant space and i need to leave when things start to feel serious.”

“billy. you don’t even call me by my name. how is that serious?” steve rubs his face with both hands, then he folds his arms on his chest again.

billy takes the hint and takes a step back. “it is to me. i don’t call you steve cause that feels personal. i don’t stay in your bed after we fuck, cause that feels personal. i don’t want to hear your stories, because that feels too personal.”

“and why is that bad?” steve asks.

this also feels too personal, but now it’s too late.

“because if it’s personal, it means that we’re close. and if we’re close...” it takes him a moment to end the sentence, and he can’t do it looking him in the eyes, so he draws them on steve’s hands and then admits, “it means i have something to lose”.

[starflungwaddledee]

been working on answering a prompt i received in an ask the other day, and so i'm back thinking about... the Thing... 💖🎀 and thought maybe prompt doodles might help me work through this a little?

so uhhh.... if by any wild chance anyone has any ship suggestions for starstruck...??? feel free to send them through!

[commsroom]

reading your eiffel posts feels like you have access to another plane where you get to observe him and take notes to bring back to us. factually correct information with such detail that surely could only be gleaned after spending hours in his presence.

this is such a sweet and funny thing to say, thank you!! that is kinda how it feels sometimes. i wouldn't claim to speak for eiffel or to know his innermost thoughts beyond a shadow of a doubt, but he does feel like a person i know well enough to make an educated guess. so often i will see things online and think 'i should show that to eiffel' as if that's a reasonable, feasible thing, like, he just exists in the same part of my brain i use to think about real life people that i actually know. and that explains at least a few things that are wrong with me.

[fly-sky-high-bug-games]

No yeah I definitely have a weak spot for characters burdened with weights of the world others made them believe is set in stone

[waywardsalt]

small little thing abt botw/totk and the future of zelda games considering it seems likely that future zelda games might be in the same style as those two and how i feel like botw/totk don't actually feel like zelda games (kind of messy i just typed this out in a kind of informal or whatever way) (this post is long af btw so uhhhh yeah)

im part of the group that claims that botw/totk aren't 'real' zelda games but... i guess they are technically 'real' zelda games, but... they sure as fuck don't feel like it, and because of that, i'm not at all excited with the idea of future loz games being in the same style, especially with the pitfalls these last two games have fallen into having been things that past zelda games did especially well, it feels like things have been sort of flipped on their heads in terms of what's being valued or whatever

like... the best parts of older zelda games were things like the story and the characters and the puzzles and the dungeons and stuff like that... the best parts of botw/totk right now are just the gameplay. people enjoy these new characters, but they dont have the narrative backing that older games do, they don't have the same impactful arcs or roles allowed by a more linear story

the point i want to get at though is how botw/totk honestly don't feel like direct evolutions or steps up from past zelda games but rather just... entirely different game styles (open world games) with the zelda flavoring and worldbuilding and story styling slapped on top.

i mean... i feel like a half-decent example of some other well-known franchises that have jumped on this (honestly kind of thoughtless) open-world bandwagon are mario (mario odyssey) pokemon (sword/shield and scarlet/violet) fire emblem (kind of. with some free-walking segments in 3 houses and engage) and the soulsborne type games (elden ring), these are all other well known and storied game series' that have somewhat made the move to open world, and i think that switch was a bit smoother, kept the core and integrity of the games that came before much better than botw/totk did

elden ring is the easiest to explain- the gameplay loop and core mechanics are the same and build upon past games' you just have more room to run around and get killed in with some little open-world flourishes like material gathering.

fire emblem is... a bit less flexible in terms of changing up the core gameplay, and the addition of open-world segments are added to add bonuses to the strategy gameplay and allow for more support-building oppourtunities and little minigames, and its more or less evolution from echoes' dungeon-crawling bits and the customizable castle in fates. the core gameplay still effectively works the exact same, just with some little class or mechanic tweaks and additions.

mario odyssey, though each world was pretty massive, still had your typical 3d mario platforming, and the new hat stuff fit in pretty well with olderpowerups and gimmicks, and the boss battles feel and work pretty similarly to the way they used it- odyssey does feel like an evolution from past mario games (ps. playing two-player with one person as cappy snaps the game in half. its the secret easy mode lol)

the new pokemon games are pretty much just the same as past pokemon games, theyre just open world and buggy as fuck rip have extra little open-world flourishes that build on what past games set up. the battling works the same as ever and the progression is the same with a number of powerful trainers you have to battle to continue forward.

with botw/totk... the progression is dramatically different in terms of power-scaling, world presentation, item-gathering, puzzle-solving... pretty much everything in the established zelda format. i get that it was pretty much the aim with botw to have a fresh start and throw out a lot of the old standards but it just makes them feel so dramatically alien to past zelda games; theyre completely different experiences in pretty much every single way, and as such they dont feel like what we've (well, people who have started with and spent a lot of time with other loz games) learned to associate with the zelda titles.

with open world games in general it's a bit harder to have a truly impactful narrative akin to those in past zelda games, anyways. i will admit that botw was a good execution of trying out something entirely new, and the narrative and gameplay and world actually complement each other very well, so despite what i've said in the past I can't really fault it's narrative too much since it's a less traditional sort of narrative and effectively does what it aims to do very well.

totk, on the other hand, proves that this style of game does not mesh with the old style of storytelling at ALL. linear games can have proper narratives with coherent stakes, developing characters, twists and reveals and building emotion and mood- and all of that is thrown out the window with totk when they decided to try and have both a more linear story with actual reveals and development and emotion, while also letting you literally spoil it for yourself out the gate.

you can't really have a well-executed story when players are capable of doing things drastically out of order and of jumping into story beats without the prior buildup and straight-up ruining what could be otherwise emotional reveals, and players being capable of doing this is hard-baked in how the game fundamentally works. I honestly feel bad for people who found the fifth sage by accident before anything else.

you can't effectively have a linear story with character growth and plot developments and impactful moments while also allowing it to be experienced out of order and with massive time gaps in between; with this kind of stuff, you can't really have your cake and eat it too. say what you will about the linearity of past zelda games, but i bet you that midna wouldn't be as beloved as a character as she is if it weren't for the linear order of the story and its events. certain parts of storytelling may demand for a linear manner of telling that story.

botw's story works because none of the memories reveal anything groundbreaking taht you don't already know; they are optional and merely give you more information about these characters from link's past and simply inform you about the girl keeping ganon at bay. if you find a late memory first, that's fine- it technically doesnt reveal anything too important to you, it just fills in some gaps for you and your player character. it makes sense within the story itself for the world to be so open and for you to be able to do what you can; the story is not the focus, nor is it even needed to beat the game. the story was made with the gameplay and what you are allowed to do in mind, and as such doesn't include things such as in-depth character development or important plot-twists.

on the other hand, you can easily spoil totk's biggest plot twist in a handful of different ways completely by accident, just by getting curious about the world around you. this can shatter a lot of the mystery or tension in the plot and this can happen completely by accident to someone playing the game organically and blindly. the story itself doesn't take this into account, it reads more like a linear story that would be more suited to a linear style of play, coming across things in order to ramp up the stakes and let things be revealed at the best possible time. (tbh totk's story doesnt seem to take the player into account in general, if the game forcing you to watch basically the same long cutscene four fucking times says anything, jesus christ)

narrative pitfalls aside, botw/totk put heavy emphasis on gameplay, but not in the same way older zelda games did, and as such trade away the unique items and gimmick-y game-specific mechanics for a small toolset handed to you out the gate. what botw/totk do- giving you everything you need from the start and having very little true varation in the gameplay from then on out- make sense and works just fine for an open world game. there is, however, a lack of actual depth to that gameplay that other open world games do have (off the top of my head, the ability to unlock and upgrade abilities and have general character upgrades in fenyx rising as well as the impressive depths of elden ring's combat and character customization system). the most depth botw/totk has to the actual gameplay is just the fourish different weapon types and the ways you use your fourish abilities (saying fourish bc for real ultrahand and fuse are fundamentally the exact same thing). there is also just raising the little defense numbers on your armor and getting more stamina and health, but that does absolutely nothing to the actual gameplay but make link more durable.

i mean, sure, health in past loz games just makes link more durable, too, but thats how health upgrades in any other game work.

the gameplay switch makes sense, considering the switch from a linear puzzle-adventure concentric game to a more sandbox-esque open-world game, but it does not mesh with the former loz formula at all, so while the shift in style makes sense, it makes me think that you can't have a previous-style loz experience in an open-world sandboxish sort of game. especially with how in totk you can very easily bypass most of the fire temple just using the mechanics handed to you at the start. you can't have the same type of zelda dungeons in a game where you are allowed to do it 'wrong' and the game itself does not allow for the same kinds of puzzles.

i am of the opinion that so long as future zelda games work the same way botw/totk did, we will not get old-school zelda-style dungeons again.

the loss of a variety of items used for specific puzzles and environment switches is the loss of a varied dungeon experience and the loss of the same kind of world and character progression as past zelda games.

you are handed everything you'll ever need at the start of botw/totk. the only thing that will meaningfully change is how much damage you do. there are no alternate strategies opened up by new items that can double as weapons, no new traversal options or routes opened up by things such as grappling hooks or clawshots or whips or specific wands. even the battle system is drastically different, instead of being enemies that take specific amounts of hits to die while you can obtain progressively stronger swords, enemies are just damage sponges and you can get all kind of weapons that just do different numerical amounts of damage.

the bosses themselves- big staples and draws of zelda games- also work extremely differently. instead of having to leverage specific items to expose weak spots or having to fight in a specific manner to do damage, you are just asked to... do damage. even in totk's bosses, where sage abilities are most certainly helpful, the only boss i found to truly require a sage ability was the lighting temple's boss; the others i either hardly used the sage at all (i didn't use yunobo at all in the second phase of the fire temple boss and hardly had a need for tulin with the wind temple boss [esp considering i was using a 3-shot lynel bow to make the poor fucker a cakewalk]) or found that alternative solutions felt better, like resorting to splash fruit on repeat water temple fights instead of wrestling with having to activate and use sidon's ability. the sages are honestly fairly poor replacements for dungeon specific items.

this kind of causes botw/totk to play more like a poor man's dark souls or just like any other open world rpgish game. i don't play botw/totk for the experience of a zelda game, i play it because it's an open world game that i can walk around in for five minute before switching to something else because i liked something in that other game better.

the combat in botw/totk isnt designed in such a way that makes it feel good. mineru's mech is fucking dismal, but since it's just either shooting with a bow or attacking with one of three types of melee weapon with some timing for a dodge, it can get stale fast. it doesn't necessarily even feel good, since there's not enough variety for it to get really engaging. (this is def an uneven comparison, but elden ring's combat feels considerable better with the different dodges you can do and the amount of attack options you have with just one weapon, not to mention the amount of control you have over your general fighting style.) combat in botw/totk at hour 1 is the exact same as combat in botw/totk at hour 100, the only different being the amount of damage you do or how much of a beating you can take.

it just... the styles of botw/totk can't allow them to feel the same as older zelda games. the shift in style was clearly a good move to draw in series newbies and shake things up, but it comes at the caveat of making them feel distant from their predecessors and uncomfortably similar to other games like them. it's hard to avoid comparisons with elden ring when on the surface they are very similar games, one just feels more true to its core identity

this all is said without mentioning the way in which botw/totk lore feels almost dismissive of past series staples and seems intent on not looking back while also taking every fucking attempt to nudge you and say 'hey, remember that zelda game' and honestly all that shit does is make me want to play a different zelda game.

botw/totk seem altogether very desperate to distance themselves from past zelda games while also being unable to really tear itself from what came before and it just culminates in me spotting linebeck island on the map and going 'damn i miss linebeck' and turning the fucking game off to play phantom hourglass instead. say what you will about phantom hourglass, but it certainly handles its story progression and character development infinitely better than the game that lets you accidentally shatter the impact of the story by deciding to check out that cool temple in the distance of the depths

[theflyingfeeling]

fanfic rambling in the tags, nothing interesting really, just me talking to myself lol, okay to ignore or read as you please ✨

[andthebeanstalk]

all these urban legends and folk stories of children with all-black eyes are like "THE CHILD SPOKE IN A STRANGE CADENCE!!!!!" with no other details listed, and like,

i guess those folks in those stories just couldn't handle running into an autistic kid with weird eyes at night idk #skill_issue #weaksauce

but if *I* hear a child crying or screaming in the woods at night, i am going into the goddamn woods. I'm really really not gonna like it. But I'm gonna do it.

and if I DO find a child in the woods, and then they look up at me, and they turn out to have demon eyes, WELL GUESS WHAT, BUDDY?!? THAT'S STILL A CHILD.

So unless they change form or like, reveal through dark magics that they are thousands of years old, then that. is. a. bab. And I don't care if it is a fairy baby or a monster baby or a ghost baby! A bab is a bab!

and if trying to return a child to a safe place gets me eaten, THEN SO BE IT. I would rather die young than grow old knowing I allowed my fear of a child with traits I don't understand to cause me to ignore the cries of a kid who might have needed my help!

[wigglebox]

.

[heartscrypt]

send me prompts to draw jamil and azul for. i need to study them under a microscope

[aroaessidhe]

2023 reads // twitter thread

Zombabe

paranormal YA set in a small town in 2003 where weird things happen that mostly get ignored

a boy is resurrected by his best friend after dying just before graduation. but he’s maybe a zombie now and if he ignores his hunger for flesh an ancient evil might start causing bigger problems

thankfully one of his friends’ aunt is a cop who has no problem helping get rid of some of the local nazis

queer teen friend group, m/m

[galaxicalswriting]

So much easier to pretend it never happened, isn't it?

[lokh]

and 5 days later i finally have........ an outline 🤡

[lojovskiart]

Pingpang cuddles for pingpang week