#i had been considering putting more of my ramblings around here and this subject was making me feel particularly alienated

[frozenbasalt]

Anyone else getting pissed off about how the online experience has become significantly unpleasant? Awful even? I go to Twitter and my feed is filled with inflamated discussions, rightful ones even, but it’s all there are the top so I can get inflamated too, so I’m prompted to react.

I finally got spare money to buy a game in YEARS and official store websites are impossible to navigate properly, with trending games appearing at the top of any search, and Game of the Year editions and Legendary editions and Deluxe editions that are overpriced and filled with pointless DLC and cosmetic packs and content packs that give you such an incredible boost in the early stages of the game that it makes it pointless. And then half the time the original game isn’t even available anymore, or it’s incredibly shrouded by a search function that doesn’t want you to find it.

I try to buy something non-digital then, stuff I need for home and etc. and the internet is filled now with Aliexpress-like sites that just shove thousands of the same version of a product with different names and different tags and different prices and different specific promotions if I just spend my money the right way and discounts and cashbacks and everyone has their own app now so I go to the physical store and it has it’s own app now with better prices and why wouldn’t I want better prices!!

I search anything on Google and it’s UNUSUABLE. None of the results are relevant. half on the first page is some absurd product placement. I’m trying to use DuckDuckGo and it’s not much better, but I guess it’s mostly because many of the sites now are automatically generated to try and get clicks from the most trendy subjects. Also DDG is not so great for non-English searches, in my experience.

Although... It’s not so great anywhere online anymore for non-English searches. I remember a comic I saw one day, showing how, for wolves, domestic dogs may seem like body horror. And I go online and I see those poorly automatic translations everywhere in huge official websites and AAA games and other sorts of content and these sentences also have snouts-too-short-to-breathe and legs-so-short-that-walking-is-painful and those sites are big enough and accessed enough that it actually shapes people’s language and it’s becoming this awful, horrific thing, a parody of a language, simplified by a synthetic alien whose only purpose is to automatically turn our attention into profit.

[bigfatbimbo]

Hello, my dear! Love that you/others enjoyed my thought and rambles! Speaking of emojis, because I'm a bastard, can I be 🍆 anon??? If that's taken, I could also go for 💦 anon?? Also, forgive me for any spelling errors, wrote this at 2 am

* ----------- * ----------- *

Vee's Dom 2: Even More Rambling (because these idiots won't leave me alone)

- If their dom ever become famous, which is likely, and the fans create edits of them, the Vees would absolutely save those vids and watch them over and over again (Imagine walking in on them watching edits of you LMAO, or even you coming over to where they're sitting cause the sound keeps looping and it's obvious that they're watching the same video straight)

- Let's talk about the clothing situation here

* With Vox's freaky ass wanting to keep you close always, it's probably led him to steal your underwear, and might even wear it, but you'll never know. I can also see Val doing the same thing but being hella more shameless, enough to even show YOU that he's wearing them and if you want them back, you better take it off of him

* Velvette probably has taken more comfier clothes, things you would wear for staying in, like old shirts, band tees, or shirts that are well loved

* Valentino has tried, and failed, to return some of the clothes he took. It's kinda hard to take those clothes back considering they look more like rags with how many holes and substances covering it.

- With a built dom

* Velvette will "off-handedly" mention about creating clothes that cater to more muscle-y/bigger builds, and will insist that she needs you to model/do photoshoots for her (she's definitely not using this opportunity just to have more photos of you flexing in HD)

* Vox will 100% build you a personal gym in the tower, but said gym will be covered in cameras/cctvs, all pointed in different directions

* Val would ask you to train his actors, and he will watch supervise said sessions, just to make sure the actors do right (which is totally not a reason for him to watch you flex on his workers)

* Obsessed with pinning Vox to the bed, I bet he'd find it so fucking hot that everytime he tries to close his legs, we just pry them open.

- i know I've talked about punishments, but what about rewards??

* Letting Vox cum as much as he wants (though by the end of it, Vox might start to wonder if it's more of a punishment instead of a reward)

* Willingly let Velvette mess around with some of your clothes/putting you in different fashion designs/putting makeup on your face

* Dare I say even let Valentino call SOME shots during sex, again, SOME shots (do remind him that even if he tops you, he's still your bitch)

- Also rotting in my brain regarding these whores:

* what if you were more powerful in terms of magic/connections/influence/money? (I just know my problems would simply ✨ disappear ✨ if I had a muscle mommy/daddy)

* what if they met you via social media and they immediately hivemind that "yes, this is my dom, right here" ? Like let's say you're an entertainer/dancer right, and one of your viral vids had been a dance to don't go insane (it's the belt dance, boo if you're curious)

* Being in the limelight also means being in the subjective eyes of everyone, and I know for a fact that the Vees have a lot of haters/threats, but what if you protect them from it (bodyguard scenario????)

* ----------- * ----------- *

I forgot to say this during my last ramble, but, If I may, I would love to absolutely read one of your takes regarding my sub!val ideas, but only if you want to/feel for it.

Btw, on a totally unrelated sidenote, I know the blog is primarily hazbin hotel, but I gotta ask, how we feeling about Arcane Sevika?? Cause I am feeling a lot (missing my muscle mommy as fuck bro)

Anywaaays, have a good day!

xoxoxoxo ❤️

This has been in my drafts for almost ALL WEEK and i’m finally coherent enough to give my thoughts!

Can I just say how much I love the Vees with a well built reader. Like I have no real character study-ish explanation for why in my brain i’m like “they’d be obsessed with that.” But I know for a fact it’s absolutely true.

I’m going to focus on your little side notes at the bottom though. So if they met you through social media I feel like you would definitely start off knowing Velvette first. But even before they start talking to you they would absolutely stalk your page and send fucking edits or something back and forth.

But the Vees with a very powerful reader is very interesting to me. Because like while yes, they’d love to be totally on top of hell, but it’s very convenient for them, and hot and hot and hot, to have your support. Because like super powerful big scary respected dom privilege mixed with their constant self entitlement and attitude? And if anyone says anything about it you fucking destroy their status, business, or hell, even them simply because you can. “Do you think you’ll kill for me one day?” “Yes, of course I will, my love” TYPE BEAT AHHH.

And that leads us to the bodyguard idea because jesus christ. Like this is literally such a mix of the well built buff reader and powerful one I just talked about. Also they would argue for your attention 1000% worse in this case.

ALSO CAN I JUST SAY, YOUR SUCH A BASTARD FOR LITERALLY BEING 🍆 ANON. you’re literally DICK ANON. are you proud 🤨🤨

[itscherrylipsforme]

Everything fits into place: Oliver Quick x fem!reader

Part 1 here

Summary: After having fallen in love with you at an Oxford's library, Oliver planned everything out until he could have you wrapped around his fingers. Now that your school year is over, you have been invited to spend the firsts months of Summer in Saltburn. You were certainly not expecting what you found there, but don't worry, Ollie was already three steps ahead

Warnings: Post Saltburn fic, a little bit dark (it’s Oliver, what you expected?), age gap (he is around 15-17 years older), slightly innocent kin? (A little bit spicy, but nothing really sexual)

Requested: yes

Words: Something between 700-800 words

Author's rambles: As I have seen that people somehow enjoyed my shitty writing I decided to make part two. Hope you like it!

Masterlist Characters I write for

Likes and reblogs are appreciated ღ

I do not authorize any of my works to be copied, translated or plagiarized ✗

Oliver hadn't told you much about Saltburn, you could only gather the crumbs of information he left once in a while. A beautiful big home in the northwest that he had inherited from a woman he considered to be kind of his "second mother" after she passed away, that was all that you knew about it. Once he also he mentioned that she had met her through her son, who had been in Ollie's year in uni, that had committed suicide when both of them were young. All of that seemed like tragic memories that your boyfriend tried to bury in his past, so you didn't want to dig much on it not to hurt him.

But during the three hours long car ride that you had to do from Oxford to your Summer destination, you were expecting that at least he could describe it with more the detail. To your surprise he didn't and when the two of you arrived at the mansion he was able to call "home" now, just surprised was not the exact word you would use to describe what you were feeling. When the maid who had opened the doors of that palace to the two of you was ordered to dismiss by "Mr Quick" as they referred him, you couldn't help but ask.

"Why didn't you tell me you were practically living like a prince, Ollie?"

"Had to make sure you truly loved me and weren't after my money, darling" He answered plainly and tried to change the subject "Come on, let me show you the place"

"You know I am not like that" You protested. Maybe you wouldn't go as far as saying that you were offended, but you would be lying if you said his words didn't hurt a little at least.

You trusted him with every piece of your heart and soul. Told him all your secrets and all the times you had lost all your hope. You loved him enough to talk about it when you fell like nothing more like some broken mess that no one, not even him, could fix. And yet he couldn't do the same? Couldn't he trust enough for this until now Somehow Oliver managed to read your thoughts from the expression of worry on your face

"My beautiful beautiful y/n I am aware of It now. But trust me, I know better than anyone else how far people can go to gain power, I needed to be sure" His eyes seemed to darken a little for a few brief second lost in his mind until he came back and rested his hand sweetly on your cheek "How can I apologize to my beloved girlfriend for putting her through a trial?"

"Well, one of the few things you did tell me about this place was that it had a library" A little grin played on your lips while he held your hand and guided you through the maze that mansion was.

Four weeks later, you two were laying in the bed you have been sharing during your stay. His arm around your waist a little bit too tight, as you had learned he liked, and your head resting on the crock of his neck. It was one of those lazy mornings that you could spend peacefully in each other embrace.

"You know every day for the rest of our life could be like this" His nose and lips dancing dangerously close to your face as his hand rubbed your back up and down.

"Ollie, that was a funny one" A small giggle echoed in the room.

"I am serious y/n" His big blue eyes glued to you as he started kissing, your forehead, your cheek, your lips... "We could sooner than later. Marry, have you in my bed each morning, and maybe a few kids around if you are up for it. Doesn't it sound good for your"

"I need to finish my degree first, Ollie" His lips now on your neck, and gosh he knew pretty well that you couldn't say no to anything when he did those kind of things.

"Of course you have that, I am not saying otherwise" Actually, you didn't need to finish it, once you were his you wouldn't have to work a single day in your life. But if you wished to gain your diploma to be happy, he wouldn't dare to say otherwise. "Maybe after you graduated, what do you think about?"

You just smiled at his sweet trail of kisses, and he took it as a yes. Soon enough you would be tied forever, soon enough you would be his wife, soon enough you two would be better than the Cattons have ever been. Soon enough, everything from his plan would fit into place.

[fire-lizard-ro]

Bottom Dragon Dan Heng

Bet you didn't expect THIS, huh?

I feel like there's barely been HSR smut recently, so I did it myself. >:D))

CW: DP (technically in two holes- you'll see-), top reader, bottom character, non-human anatomy (for my dear Dan Heng), knots (Dan Heng's), fucking a hole you probably didn't expect me to say you're fucking, belly bulge and a tiiiiiny bit of cumflation~ <333 (like it's only a little bit of a bulge left over), mention of crying, hair/horn pulling, usage of the word "slut" exactly once, only a tiny mention of dirty talk (I'm now realizing I don't really do dialogue in these...)

GN reader.

Cock is interchangabe with strap and I mentioned that... And I say cum for the reader, but also mention that it can be fake cum for a strap.

You know I REALLY tried holding off so I could finish making myself write down all my Aeon stuff, but dragon Dan Heng is still very much so stuck in my mind.

So whoopsie here's yet another ramble session from Roro about nefarious things I think about this scaly bitch (affectionate).

So uh- This is written as x reader(s) because ye, but when I was having whore-knee thoughts it was more like I thought it up in a daydream of me somehow scoring Dan Heng, Blade, and Jing Yuan and watching those three have at it. hA-

A n y w a y s -

One of the only times I write top reader(s), lmfao. Since I prefer bottom reader content, but top reader is also smeggsy sometimes.

NSFW:

Okay so for this, you're gonna have to be two people sometimes, I guess foijeo- Maybe you and your bestie like sharing or something.

But like.... bottom dragon Dan Heng who gets fucked in the ass and has a cock/strap in his internal cock sheath thing. I mean- It is a slit... That just so happens to have two cocks in it... Just slide on in and make it three. This could also be only you fucking him this way while shoving a dildo/plug in his ass. But something about the idea of watching him get stretched out on two cocks that had been fucking him is hot.

Watch the way his belly bulges out from your thick cock and listen to how he sobs from the stretch he feels in both of his holes. Dan Heng would likely never admit it, but he loves it when you fuck his sheath- When you put yourself in the hole he had never considered before. It's already slick on the inside naturally to keep his cocks from chafing. And it's so tight from there being two cocks in there.

He was hesitant when you first brought it up, not having thought about it before and worrying that it would hurt or just not work out- After all, this was not a hole that was supposed to be fucked. But he was ultimately curious, as it is in his nature. At least I think. After all, he does manage the archives and seems to know a lot about various subjects.

But once he tries it? Fuck there's no going back from there. He was used to you shoving your tongue in there or even gliding fingers through the slick of his internal sheath and feeling around his cocks while they were inside... But this was a whole different ball game. His tail would be thumping against the bed while you gently finger the slit of his sheath's opening. One, two... then three and even four fingers. Just in case. You don't wanna hurt your pretty boy, after all. :((

Then you slick up the shaft of your dick/strap and ever-so-gently press the head inside along his two cocks that had popped out while you were fingering him. There's a gasp as he feels it stretch him out inside and he's panting while trying to get used to the new feeling.

But once he's adjusted and you've picked up the pace? He's letting out the prettiest choked out moans while you fold his legs up to his chest and fuck him hard, your hips slapping against his ass with every forward stroke. And he's likely whimper if you lean forward to mouth at those cute nipples of his. They look so lonely and nibble-able, you know? :((

(I am of the belief that EVERYONE deserves to have their nipples sucked. <333)

The way his tail twitches and spasms and even thrashes around from not being able to control it while he's getting fucked like a good, perfect slut- And then the way it wraps around your waist like he's trying to ground himself- Or maybe he's pulling you closer? Trying to get you deeper? God- Please tug on his tail, too. I'm not sure how well fucking his sheath from behind would work because of possible positioning of said sheath, but if you do? Please yank this man's tail to pull him back into your thrusts while you pin him down with a hand on the back of his head to shove him into the pillows. Better yet- Grip his hair, too, while you're at it. Or his horns/one of his horns. Use his horns to pull him into your hips as you make heavy thrusts into him.

And oh lord- When he cums? His knots and cocks swell which makes everything tighter and he's crying and writhing beneath you while calling out your name and pushing at your stomach because it's just too much- There's cum all over your belly and his and he looks so fucked out and his legs are shaking and his hips are jumping in little aborted thrusts to grind your cock inside him just a little more while he rides out his orgasm.

For my cock havers and my strap users (specifically those straps that you can use a pump with to pump stuff into your partner-):

I hope you can see my vision when I say he looks so pretty with cum squirting out of not only his dicks, but out of his shealth. The way his belly has a little bulge left over from how much you fucked into him- The way it squelches out from his slit, between his flagging cocks as they retreat into his internal pouch and more cum gushes out- And how he whimpers and whines and tears leak from his pretty eyes and he squirms while you push on his belly to force the cum out of his stuffed sheath.

It's just so pretty. :((

He's just so pretty. :((

Once again: I prefer top character and bottom reader stuff, but... Sometimes.... Ahaha- (If I were in that JingRenHeng poly relationship that I mentioned I was thinking of when I imagined this up, I'd love to watch those two do this to him... [screams])

I might have missed something/a few things because my mind was going wayyyyy faster than I can type (though I can type pretty fast...). So if I did and I remember later, I will put in an edit and post something to let people know it was added to.

I shall now go fucking die myself because who knew I'd be writing this and putting it where people can see it ahahahahfiosejg-

OH OH OH P.S. PLEASE TALK DIRTY TO HIM AND NIBBLE THOSE CUTE EARS OF HIS HE'LL GET SO RED THIS IS CANON TO ME.

[nomatterwhatnomatterwhere]

What a ( Not so) Strange World IX

Prev Next

No, I am not dead - I apologize for the immense delay. Also I would like to thank @the-ace-reader for putting up with my rambling and especially for giving us the scene with Sebek ( so very thank you <3 )

As a student you were supposed to take classes-which were about to start-in a class that had not yet been assigned to you and whose location you had no idea about.

Given the rather high chances of getting lost around the school the situation was pretty good, wasn't it? You were trying to get to Crowley's office as quickly as possible when a voice made you stop, sigh with relief, and return to your anxious state

"To enter the classroom in your current condition would be disrespectful, I hope you know that."

You were definitely relieved to hear - and see - that adorable furball - not that you would have told him out loud - Lucius: If he was here, it meant that Trein was not far away; if Trein was not far away, it meant that maybe he could help you.

The only thing you didn't understand was why your "conditions" would be a disrespect-you looked as hard as you could, trying to figure out what the problem was, but you just couldn't figure it out.

( In your defense, the small footprints left by the hedgehogs were in places rather obstructive for you to see them.)

Distracting you from that thought, however, came, fortunately for you - as you had anticipated - Trein, who passed his gaze from Lucius to you and then snapped his fingers and did something

( make the stains disappear from your clothes and your face)

and then turned to you in what for many would have been a rather austere tone, but you knew better

"I am relieved that Lucius found you, we were afraid you would get lost before you got to class."

Oh.

So you had been assigned a class.

Your expression must have openly stated what your thoughts were given what Trein said to you as you headed to said class

("I will be your Homeroom Teacher. There will be no special treatment, and although I guess you already expected that, I wanted to emphasize that." )

Arriving just before the entrance to the Trein Classroom he slowed his pace slightly, before stopping to take Lucius in his arms, thus letting you enter before him-wasn't this considered special treatment? Delaying his entrance so that you would turn out on time?

The classroom was structured in a way that was rather new to you: the desks that stretched high rather than wide made you think more of the stands of a stadium than of a classroom, but you imagined that for a theoretical subject it made sense to structure the classroom that way.

Even from the outside you could sense the large number of people present-if you concentrated you might be able to distinguish the different murmurs-but upon entering you realized that most of them already knew each other, or at least were not total strangers

( If you had looked closely you would have noticed that your classmates were grouped according to dormitory, that's why you felt like they already knew each other, because they already knew each other.)

Compared to the first time you had arrived in this world you thought you had changed-hopefully for the better, but never take anything for granted-in many respects, but that of socializing with your peers had remained at a decidedly poor level:

At RSA it had been Neige who had approached you - and you had made a masterful fool of yourself - Rook had put an arrow to your neck - and you had made a fool of yourself again as well as ignorant. You had approached Mr. Fae by pure mistake, and since you had no chance of escape, you had maintained a conversation -- rather brief and awkward, by the way -- you had been assaulted by one of your temporary roommates, and you had found yourself in spite of yourself harboring a problem child under the dilapidated roof of the dormitory.

So, in short, you weren't good at socializing at age 8 and you weren't good at it now.

You hoped to find a medium-isolated seat, not too far away, not too close, from which to take class without too much trouble. Oddly enough -- for being the first day of class -- there were several vacant seats, even though you were late, so you didn't have too much trouble choosing a seat to your liking.

You sat at the third desk, just past the "aisle side" desk - the idea of someone giving you a shove as you walked by did not appeal to you, it definitely seemed painful - and you took advantage of the short time Trein had given you to arrange your material.

Kind of like whoever was sitting in the pew below yours was doing : he was wearing a green and black armband that matched his hair, which had drawn you in rather quickly.

(Had he thrown several pounds of wax on it, or was it naturally that way? You felt like stroking them, but it didn't seem quite right, it was rude, and none of your guardians would let you get away with it.)

Trein's arrival marked the end of your ramblings: he introduced himself as the Homeroom Teacher of your class, explaining what subject he taught and what his methods of judgment were-and introducing Lucius, of course-and then began the actual lesson by talking about the Mana Stones.

The topic was definitely interesting, and you were used to Trein's method of teaching, but you didn't feel like it was that difficult to keep up. The boy sitting next to you had hit his head on the desk after only five minutes.

To his credit, Mr. I Used Too Much Hairspray Today seemed to be holding up well; indeed, he did not seem to be affected in the least by Trein's monotone voice during his explanation.

The choice of topic then made you laugh; not because it was funny per se, but because of Yuu and the Problem Child ™s situation : there was a certain irony in talking about the Mana Stones, especially if students had risked their lives to retrieve one without knowing anything about it.

( At first you didn't understand why the older students didn't like Lucius, but after spending an entire class watching him wander around the class, annoying anyone who fell asleep or pointing out the names of those who weren't paying attention, you understood why he wasn't seen as the lovable, slightly snobbish furball you knew.)

Next you moved to Sport Field, for the hour you feared most given your possessing two left feet and being as graceful as a fawn on the frozen lake

( Lady Tremaine's efforts had been to no avail; during your etiquette lessons you kept tripping and dropping books-Frau Grimilde had suggested shoes that knew the dance steps, "just in case.")

Honestly? You had to find a way to be excused from that subject because A) you were incapable of doing the simplest of exercises without falling down and B) sweat absolutely disgusts you.

( C) you fear that Coach Vargas might decide to include his raw eggs in your diet.)

All the while you had done nothing but wait for the class to end as soon as possible, and when the coveted moment had finally arrived, the adverse fate had well and truly decided to bid you farewell

( Effectively you had been too lucky up to that point and it would not have been you if you had not made some embarrassing figure by involving poor strangers in your misfortune.)

You had no idea how it had happened-you had surrendered to being the plaything of fate-but after picking up your things, on your way to class you had stumbled.

Over nothing.

You hadn't put your foot wrong at all.

You had tripped over nothing, and you were bracing yourself for the impending head injury that would come shortly.

Only the head injury wasn't coming because someone had come chivalrously to rescue you.

( He was restraining you with one arm under your sternum, but he had a rather delicate grip, considering the force that must have been behind restraining you…you probably looked like a sack of potatoes.)

Except that instead of the Prince Charming ™ you might have expected you had found yourself covering your ears to protect your eardrums from the screams about your lack of attention that were being-absolutely unkindly-addressed to you by your…savior-which was none other than the boy who sat in the desk below yours in class

"WHY ARE HUMANS SO CARELESS AND CLUMSY! THEY SHOULD FOCUS MORE "

Seriously, what bad character problems did the students have? Were they all so … bizarre?

Which by the way he was not a beast man-or at least he didn't look like one-so either he was a fae-but you hadn't noticed any of the typical signs, nor did you sense the typical aura of magic that you had sensed in Mister Fae-or he was a merman, but either way saying such things was downright rude.

( He had been kind, though; he had prevented you from a potentially dangerous fall, and despite yelling at you he had checked that you were not hurt. Also, he was not wrong, you should have paid more attention to where you put your feet.)

Third period was with Crewel, who was in charge of explaining the basics of potionology to you, but you just couldn't concentrate: the smell of sweat was definitely strong for you, so much so that you wondered if the boys had used the showers after the previous class, because you really didn't understand.

You were also more interested in the Not- at- all Prince Charming : you had not figured out whether he was unaware of your arrangement , was simply ignoring you or was so extremely focused on the lesson that he didn't notice anything.

( Crewel, on the other hand, had definitely noticed that your attention was not on his lecture at all and was wondering if he should start worrying.)

When Break Time arrived you were supposed to head to the Cafeteria, for that lunch you had promised Cater, but it seemed to you that the stench of sweat stuck to you and you didn't want to stink, so you made a quick stop toward your room in the faculty wing, to freshen up a little

( although on the way to the Courtyard you saw out of the corner of your eye a gray ball of fur running wild.)

The ride, while long - you had missed a hallway and had to be shown the way - had been very quiet.

What was not quiet at all was what you saw as you entered the Cafeteria.

Was it possible that those idiots couldn't keep from getting into trouble? It was quite annoying how everywhere they went they seemed to make trouble.

( You hoped-more for their sanity-that the Problem Children would not assume that Yuu was their caretaker because that would be pure nastiness; they had already been through so much, letting them eat in peace seemed the least)

You were going to intervene - my circus, my monkeys I guess - maybe cast some little spells from a distance? so that you wouldn't actually have to get too close to those four, mainly because three of them … make that two and a half ( Deuce after all seems like a good kid) are mess makers and you get into messes just fine on your own without outside help, but before you could do anything the problem seemed to have been solved.

Just as well, you thought, as you took a look at what the Buffet was offering.

( you had been greeted by the ghost with whom you had cooked the previous afternoon; he had been very kind and had advised you what to take from the things that were left )

Feeling satisfied you began to look around for Cater's recognizable ginger hair, though in doing so you made eye contact with Rook who smiled at you and you sent him a nod of recognition.

Once you found who you were looking for you approached, being pleasantly surprised to see an old acquaintance again

( it must definitely have been the "Trey" effect that had made you smile like a moron seeing her first crush again which was indeed true)

" … the new Prefect from that dump of a- I mean the 'rustic' dorm"

" 'Rustic' is a compliment, that's actually a … I don't even know if there's a word to describe how much of a dumpster that dorm is " you inserted yourself into the conversation by sitting next to Yuu

(to whom you passed some of your food because theirs was being gobbled up by the weasel…maybe you could have made some Bento Boxes?)

You gave a general nod of greeting-even though you had to shoo Cater's hand away from your lunch.

"I've heard about luddites like you, but I never imagined I'd meet one in the wild !"

"Yuu's not a rare animal, you know that Cay?"

During Trey and Cater's explanation of the dorms there were some rather interesting moments:

When they pointed out to you a boy from Savana Claw you couldn't help but think you had seen someone very similar before: he was smaller and definitely more kawaii, but that Beast Man really did look a lot like Jack…maybe you should have contacted him? IF you remember correctly, he, too, should have been attending first-year

Rook pretending he didn't know you were talking about him and whoever was sitting next to him while talking about Pomefiore students.

"You two are morons. There aren't girls officially enrolled here" Thanks Ace, so you were either a cockroach in his eyes, or he didn't think of you as a girl at all, as if he wasn't aware of it…were you supposed to be offended?

The most interesting point came ( literally ) as you were talking about Diasomnia : among the boys Cater had pointed out to you was your Not-at all Prince Charming, but he was not the interesting point.

"Despite my fresh faced, boyish good looks it would be inaccurate to call me a child."

Lila Vanrouge was definitely a fae, you could also tell by the rather old-fashioned way he described himself-he seemed to be a little older than Mr. Fae, but he exuded less dangerous fae-ish energy

( Not that her mere presence didn't make you stiffen--and not that he didn't notice--she was still a Fae, and he seemed like one of those Fae who enjoy playing pranks on their neighbors.)

(Trey's reaction, however, made you smile slightly).

"And yet those guys over there aren't exactly rolling out the red carpet in terms of approchability."

You couldn't blame Deuce, the other two seemed ready to attack you if you made the slightest dangerous movement though….

"Um…" you had to be very careful, you didn't want to end up incurring a debt to a fae, whoever it was " I would really appreciate if you could be so kind to thank your…friend for helping me today."

Effectively, you had not thanked the boy, who in spite of his manners, had nevertheless done you a great deal of pleasure

The speech Trey made as soon as Lilia returned to his table left you slightly confused: he had not referred to Lilia's abilities as those of a fae. It was hard not to know it was…was it forbidden to talk about it? Something else you should have investigated as soon as you found the library.

Great, more and more infomation to look for.

Just great

[the-crow-binary]

Im quite curious about your opinion on the portrayal of the french revolution; I know it was a super complicated political moment with multiple fronts from the commoners wanting better life conditions, the bourgeoisie wanting to get the nobility out of the way (which it's part as to why it cant be directly translated into 21'st century american capitalism analogy 🙄), how multiple nobles supported the revolution for moral values despite going against their families interests (bc social class influences but doesnt instantly determines your morals) and that many revolutionary groups supported the independence of Haití (heck, many members of my countries independence participated and almost got beheaded in the resulting mess. And ad hundred and something years later France would try to invade us lol). What im trying to say behind my ramble here (sorry for that lol) its that im sure nfcv made it a slavery bad black ppl vs white ppl american dilemma without getting into the complexity of it and i say this as a foreigner with basic history knowledge, so i do wanna see your take on it

Which portrayal of the French Revolution? 🙃

I swear this very important Historical event that affected not just France but all of continental Europe and is considered as one of the world's biggest events was just used as background for the characters to fight and be racist. The characters keep throwing around the word "revolution" from all sides, but we don't see shit. Maria gives context in the first episode (there's a revolution, they overthrown the monarchy and declared a republic, they arrested the king...), talking to a group of revolutionaries, and from then on the story could've literally taken place in an imaginary country with imaginary politics it would've been the same.

Oh, what am I saying, there IS one thing. Our motto. 🙃"Liberty, equality, fraternity" 🙃 Yeah it has been thrown here and there... Except that it wasn't our official motto yet. We had the notion of liberty and equality, sometimes fraternity, and it was in the middle of other words such as "friendship", "sincerity", "charity" and "union". There is some people and even some books who used this motto but it was abandoned then taken back later... Just this is a mess lmao but the point is. I cringed everytime the characters screamed "Liberty! Equality! Fraternity!". And while we're on the subject, Richter, at some point, meets three girls during a festival (I suspect one of the girls to be Marianne, who wasn't a real person but the symbol of Liberty) talking about dressing up as Liberty and Equality and Fraternity. And Richter, thinking he is so smart, say that you need to be a man to dress up as Fraternity, because it means "brotherhood" (and the girls go "sisternity then" and don't correct him). Oh, and the writers clearly thought it was very clever too, since later on Annette's teacher (and even the Messiah I think??) will ALSO talk about the motto, saying "liberty, equality, brotherhood". IT DOESN'T MEAN "BROTHERHOOD". I MEAN IT CAN. BUT IN THIS CASE IT MEANS "FRATERNITY". IT'S A TERM TO TALK ABOUT A BOND EXISTING BETWEEN PEOPLE CONSIDERED AS MEMBERS OF THE HUMAN FAMILY. AKA IT CONCERNS EVERYONE. YOU ARE NOT CLEVER, AMERICAN WRITERS.

Also I thought a fucking festival at a time like that where people dress up at the concepts of our not-exactly-official-motto-yet was stupid, and it is. There was no such festival, however, we did have the "cult of the reason". To put it simply: it was a serie of events and civic holidays wich were organized by a group of atheists. In it there WAS an event called "Fete of the Reason"... Where one ACTOR dressed up as Liberty. It was NOT multiple people representing liberty, equality or fraternity.

The fun fact is, the French Revolution was a pretty good occasion for NFCV to promote it's CHURCH BAD mentality. We were taking away the church's power, more people became atheists, anti-christian vandalism and blasphemy was actually encouraged, it was a mess. Paris even ordered to shut down churches at some point, wich did not happen in the end. So yeah, this precise moment, right before the Vendée War, was perfect for the church-haters those writers are. And it ended up just being as bad as the original show, without any nuance... Ok there might be a little bit of nuance because of Mizrak, a guy who served the church and in the end actually team up with Richter and the gang, and it looks like he's there to stay. Emmanuel (the abbott) tries to be complex, but in the end, he is still a God-obsessed man that makes terrible decisions and is not a good representation for the church. So okay, it might be a BIT better than the original show thanks to Mizrak, but it's not saying much.

Another thing. Only the main characters are shown to have a dislike for the church. We don't see ANY of the french people doing anything against the church (but we do hear the church complaining about the revolutionaries, tell don't show y'know), not even talk about it. It's mostly jokes about how haha priests are sexual predators/they can't keep it in their pants (with the occasional "it exploits the people and take their money" line, and by occasionnal I mean once). There IS a few shades thrown at God here and there, honestly I didn't bother remembering the exact lines because they are so cliché and really not that deep. I think Maria is the one complaining the most.

What angers me the most is the lack of ANY ACTION FROM THE FRENCH PEOPLE. It's like nothing is actually happening except vampire killing people and vampire hunting (wich begs the question: WHY bother making it happen during the FRENCH REVOLUTION?). Nocturne literally made the french people the side (oh what am I saying, the BACKGROUND) characters in their OWN REVOLUTION. AND ALL I HAVE TO SAY IS. WHAT THE FUCK. Maria is supposed to be a revolutionary leader but she doesn't lead anyone. We never see anyone do anything outside of the main characters. The french are literal planks, except from those three girls from the festival and villains, they don't even have a voice. At some point the vampire Messiah arrives in town, in plain view, and people are like "OUR SAVIOR IS HERE! OUR DELIVERER!" and I thought the people shouting were vampires, but no, there is humans TOO. ALL TOGETHER. And you have no idea how much I hate that they basically portray the french people as not doing shit and needing someone else to save them 🙃 To do things for them 🙃 And also. That that someone else is not even french themself. 🙃 Even without the Messiah... the revolutionaries we saw were led by Richter (romanian/american/british idk at this point), Annette (Haitian, even if Saint-Domingue was owned by France at the time), Tera (Russian) and, of course, Maria, who's both Russian and French, at least. Those four were doing most of the work while the french people were in their houses cooking baguettes, I guess. And by "work" I mean fighting vampires and night creatures, there was nothing done about the Revolution. Almost like there is NO REASON TO MAKE A CV SHOW ABOUT THE FRENCH REVOLUTION

Oh and I just HAVE to talk to you about Saint-Domingue, and the BLACK PEOPLE ARE OPPRESSED theme going on with Annette. And that's when I'll have to take out this magnificent dialogue again:

"Even these french with their high ideas, what do they know about we've suffered? And what do they care? They're building new world, but it won't be freedom, or equality or brotherhood for US"

This is said by Annette's teacher. Worth to note that before that, in episode 3, she also shat on the French revolution and our motto. Basically, the show portray the French Revolution as being one thing and the slaves in Saint-Domingue having their own other revolution. And not just that, it implies that the French did not care about slaves, and that they do not know what suffering is (yeah, people just start revolutions because they feel like it y'know 🙃). And the anti-white dialogues are portrayed as normal and are even applauded, btw. And it is BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUULLSHIT. MY FUCKING GOD. OH THIS SHOW MAKE ME SO ANGRY.

First off: Only the colonies were pro-slavery. The french pretty much weren't. A "Society of friends of black people" was even created in France in 1788 to fight for the abolition of slavery. People fought for black people's rights during the French Revolution. Books written by black people to join the fight came out. The French Revolution scared the colonies who were very against losing their slaves and it led to Haiti's own revolution (slaves rebelling, killing their owners, burning the plantations... Nocturne at least got that part right). So both revolutions are very closely linked and the slaves might not have rebelled at this point if it wasn't for the French Revolution threatening Saint-Domingue's economics and creating social upheavals.

And what does those shitty american writers remember? BLACK PEOPLE OPPRESSED. BLACK PEOPLE SUFFERED SO MUCH MORE THAN EVERYONE ELSE. LOOK AT THESE POOR BLACK PEOPLE. WHITE PEOPLE ARE SO POWERFUL. THE FRENCH ARE UNGRATEFUL ACTUALLY. BLACK CHARACTER IS RIGHT TO SHIT ON THE WHITE FRENCH WHO DON'T CARE ABOUT THEM.

FUCK.

Oh, and I mentioned the Vendée War earlier... So, fun fact, during the revolution, we have what we call "la Terreur". It's a pretty gruesome period of time during the Revolution that caused the death of hundreds of thousands of people. La Terreur happened from 1793 to 1794. So one year after this first season of Nocturne. 🙃 I'm just saying. It wouldn't surprise me if they used this for season 2. 🙃(I literally do not trust them)

And the vampires... Look the vampires have their own can of worms that I'm not motivated enough to open. I'll just say that, of course, in classic NFCV fashion, the message the show is trying to pass is not subtle at all. They're just evil. All of them. All of the french nobles. Evil evil EVIL EVIL!! NUANCE AND COMPLEXITY ARE FOR PUSSIES.

Also the count of Vaublanc? Annette's ex-owner? This guy existed. And he never owned slaves. He was pretty pro-royalty, at some point he voted against slavery, then later voted in favor of it... but he did not own slaves. But honestly I don't care about that guy much, I just wanted to show that NFCV really doesn't care about nuance. Everything has to be black or white (lol) and that's why we have no human nobility in Nocturne.

Urgh. UUUUUURGH. I SWEAR WATCHING THIS SHOW WAS A PAIN AND THE MORE I THINK ABOUT IT THE MORE PAINFUL IT BECOMES. THERE IS SO MUCH GOING ON IN THE FRENCH REVOLUTION AND NFCV IS DOING JACKSHIT WITH IT. I MEAN IT'S SO MUCH FUNNIER TO SHIT ON THE BELMONT CLAN AND SHOW TIDDIES TO MAKE THE FANS HORNY.

So, my opinion on the portrayal of the French Revolution: CREATE YOUR OWN FICTIONAL REVOLUTION NEXT TIME AND LEAVE THE HISTORY OF MY COUNTRY ALONE.

[scepterno]

Oh my god I love nsfw with acc feelings in it it makes it so real and meaningful icl

I remember reading one where Alejandro was insanely focused on Noah and like to get handsy and describe every part he loved ab him😭 Alejandro when he’s not playing in TD is so different towards people (if he wasn’t attracted to Heather he’d be attracted to Noah?? Or something like that I remember seeing it) but yeah Noah felt so safe with him and wasn’t at all nervous to say no to things in the fic it was so sweet☹️

I haven't read any nsfw fics of alenoah simply because.. erm...... i do not enjoy a lot of alenoah fics in general.. i cannot shake the feeling that most are written by teens so i just tend to avoid them by virtue of not wanting to read some high schooler's fanfic. i am a stickler about proper grammer, syntax, rhythm and beats, or what have you. *pushes up glasses* i am a scholar in STEM at heart. do not let the art degree fool you! when you get older and go to college you tend to...................................... now, i don't mean to be rude, but you tend to refine your tastes in literature, aka silly gay fanfics in the internet.

i just cannot bring myself to sit through more than 2 sentences of a fic if there's not proper punctuation or grammar. (also you can sort of tell when a fic is written by someone young or inexperienced, which, you know, power to them! you cant get better if you dont suck first! but that does not. mean. i will subject myself to Suck) i simply cannot. it hurts my bones.

that was a totally unrelated tangent. WOOPS. sourry 'bout that, mate.

what you're thinking of is the reddit AMA with alejandro's original voice actor where someone asked if they could see alejandro being attracted to anyone other than Heather, using Noah as an example, and he agreed. (they kind of led him into that one, so i take it with a grain of salt, but celebrate nonetheless)

i personally cannNNNAWWWWTTTT see Noah as submissive in a sexual situation with alejandro. with someone like Emma? yeah. sure. vaporize that stupid twink. but with alejandro, who brings out the competitive, spiky side to Noah??? i cant see him assuming the submissive role. maybe he likes to get pampered and Pillow Princess'd once in a while (he is VERY lazy to his core, after all).

i do find it interesting how most people tend to agree that alejandro would be a much better person as soon as he's no longer on reality television. although, i suppose that applies to most characters, especially the villains.

i personally still think that alejandro has a nasty side, since he wasn't ALLOWED to have a nasty side around his family (or he'd get a beating). being on total drama let him have fun with being a complete asshole, which is not something he was ever allowed to do before then, because he's supposed to be perfect! and suave! and a gentleman! Chris hired him to be a dirtbag, so he played the part and had a blast doing it (until it bit him in the ass)

i do regret not being able to show alejandro's Nasty Side more in my fic, but i dont' really think there was room for it given how hard he was trying to redeem himself both in his family's eyes, as well as Noah's. once he and Noah are more comfortable with each other, Alejandro definitely allows himself to be let loose a bit and forego the manners. he truly DOES admire that Noah isn't a pushover, because he considers himself one and wishes, deep down, that he wasn't so compelled to be a people pleaser. there is a subconscious filter in his brain that keeps him generally polite, just because it's been drilled into him by his family (diplomatic and strict, cough cough) that being undesirable or off-putting is something to be punished for.

EGADS, it appears I have allowed myself to ramble again, so I'll cut it off here. sorry for using your fairly straightforward message as a means of info-dumping. 'tis the turn of the tide, or what have you.

じゃね~~~~!!!

[nicascurls]

Breaking the Dollhouse - Chapter Three

Word Count: 1.8K

Summary: What would have happened if Junior survived and was taken by Tiffany from the hospital? What would that mean for Junior and Nica over the next year?

Notes: So this chapter took me longer to write than I expected and does focus on Nica's attempt in Cult, so a warning for that.

Tags: @barclaysangel @rogertaylorismyking

Things had changed since the twins visited. Junior had been nervous before around Tiffany after discovering Nica but now it was so much worse. He had looked forward to his secret visits to Nica's room but now whenever he was alone with Tiffany he wished for Nica to be there too. Someone who actually encouraged him to share his feelings, not just about life now but everything before and his interests. Nica sat and listened no matter how long he felt like he was rambling, gave him comfort when he needed it, waited patiently when certain stories were more difficult for him and took him longer to voice. Or recently, even progressing to things they would both like to do, hopes they had before Chucky. That’s where they were now. Sat eating some of the food that Junior now has stashed in his room that he brought to share, enthusiastically telling Nica all about Greek Mythology. 

Nica was listening intently as she worked her way through a cookie. It made the days being trapped a little more bearable, seeing Junior's face light up talking about his interests. Nica continued to try and absorb all the information Junior was presenting her with when he suddenly went silent, staring at her wrist before trying to pry his eyes away.

Nica silently cursed herself, she didn't like anyone seeing that scar, especially Junior. He had gained the courage to open up to her about his mothers death, after hearing that she focused even more on keeping it hidden. She didn't want to provoke any bad memories for him. Whilst the wound was now healed, the scar was still pink and raised enough to give away that it was a somewhat recent incident.

"Junior…" She spoke gently, trying to pull him out of his trance.

"W- when did-"

"It was before I met you." She could feel a lump forming in her throat at his reaction. "I'll explain everything, I just- I tried to keep it hidden, I didn't want to upset you."

"Can- can you explain it now?"

Nica could see the worry in his eyes, the fear that she would be gone too. 

"Yeah. Yeah, I can do that. Come here." She gestured to the side of her and Junior instantly sat down at her side, ready to listen.

"So you remember I told you about what happened to my family?"

"Yeah, Chucky killed them and framed you."

"Well, there was one other person who survived that night that I didn't tell you about." 

Nica spent close to the next hour explaining what happened to her beloved niece and answering any questions that Junior had. All the while, he stayed sat next to Nica, resting his head on her shoulder and giving her hugs when she struggled to continue explaining. 

By the time the explanation was done, both of them had shed a significant amount of tears, not only for the pain and suffering that Chucky and Tiffany had caused for both of them, but for the poor little girl that Nica had considered a daughter who had been so close to surviving. 

Once she had finished, Nica remained in the same spot, staring straight ahead whilst absent mindedly stroking Junior’s hair. She knew it had been a lot for Junior to take in and he was currently curled into her side with his head resting on her shoulder as he processed everything. 

“I’m sorry for not telling you before, Honey.” Nica spoke into the silence, “I know you hate secrets, but with everything you're already dealing with- It’s, it’s a heavy subject and I didn’t want to put that on you. Especially after the past months…”  

“Yeah, I get that…” He responded in a small voice, still coming to terms with what he had been told, he remembered all too well how he felt after his mom passed. What lead him to feel low enough to listen to Chucky in the first place, “I know being kept in here is really shitty, especially after all the other shit you've been though, but… you don’t feel- you won't-”

“It won’t happen again, baby.” She gently grabs his face in her hands and lifts his head to look him in the eyes, “I promise you. It won’t happen again, I’m right here…” 

In an instant, Junior loops his arms around Nica’s neck, hugging her tightly as if to reassure himself that she was, in fact, still there. He eventually let go, but still stayed close to her, for her comfort as well as his own peace of mind but there was still one thought he couldn't shake, “Do you think the same thing would have happened to me?” Nica���s head snapped up before he had even finished his question, eyes immediately scanning him for any injuries. “I mean, if I had kept doing as Chucky asked?” 

Inside her head Chucky let out a short laugh, It would depend on how obedient the brat was! 

Don’t fucking touch him! Nica snapped back. Junior watched as Nica calmed herself. 

“I- I don’t know, honey. I’m just glad we never had to find that out.” Junior just gave her a small smile, gently nodding his head in response as Nica glanced at the clock. 

“We should get some rest, before Tiffany starts screeching in the morning.” That made Junior let out a laugh.

“I thought I would have gotten used to it by now but I haven’t. I’m surprised I haven’t had an episode because of it…”

“Well, I’m glad you haven’t, do you remember the breathing exercises I told you about? I know it can sound silly, but they can be very helpful.”

Junior smiled again, having someone else around who understood his heart episodes seriously helped him to cope. “Yeah, I remember.”

“Okay, good.” Nica passed him an extra pillow before lying down, Junior quickly doing the same. They stayed in silence for a while before Nica adjusted the covers over Junior’s shoulder. She closed her eyes once again and faintly heard a mumble, "Alice was really lucky to have you…" 

Nica had gently awoken Junior that morning before Tiffany rose by stroking his cheek so he could sneak back to his room. Since ‘waking up’ to Tiffany’s high pitched greeting, he had been desperate to see Nica again. After finding out the full story about her family, Junior wanted to be there for her even more than he had before and wanted to be sure that she was alright. 

Junior was currently leaning back on the couch, waiting for Tiffany to retrieve her ‘girlfriend’ from the pink prison she kept her in. He had been given the task of setting up the only movie Tiffany ever let them watch, much to his and Nica’s dismay. Junior’s mind was occupied by wanting to see Nica again and due to that, he accidently pressed the wrong button on the remote, causing the TV to switch to the news. He thought nothing of it and was about to switch it back when he heard the news reader mention Hackensack, that was when he noticed what story was being covered. 

The investigation into the series of homicides that took place in Hackensack last November is still ongoing. In addition to a missing persons case- 

That’s when Junior saw it, his own picture looking back at him. Wait, missing?! He thought to himself, Not dead?! He didn’t hear anything else from the report, only his own heartbeat in his ears. 

She lied! How could I have been such an idiot?! I was in hospital, of course I wouldn't have been reported dead! He was getting increasingly angry. At Chucky. At Tiffany. At himself, Idiot! You absolute idiot! He continued to tell himself, he knew he needed to calm down so he wouldn’t have an episode. Focus on my breathing. Like Nica taught me. Nica! He remembered the task at hand just in time, setting up the TV and forcing a smile on his face as he continued to try and regulate his breathing again. 

By the time Tiffany had returned with a slightly drowsy looking Nica, Junior’s breathing was almost back to normal. Tiffany soon snatched the remote from his hand to put the movie on as he locked eyes with Nica. Whatever Tiffany had drugged her with, it was a small enough dose that she wasn’t completely out of it, she was trying to fight it. For now, Nica was successful enough to be able to clock that something was wrong with him and furrowed her brow in question. 

‘Later.’ Junior mouthed behind Tiffany’s back. 

That night, Nica once again lay in bed, in the horrendous pink room she continued to despise. The drugs Tiffany had given her earlier had mostly worn off now, making her far more awake than she would like to be at almost midnight. It didn’t help that she was already feeling  fidgety and desperately trying to stop herself from chewing on her fingernails. That had already given her away to Tiffany once, she wasn’t going to let it happen again. She knew there was something bothering Junior and she so badly wanted to help him but there was nothing she could do until-

Just then, she heard the familiar rattle of the door handle before being greeted by the sight of Junior sneaking in and closing the door behind him. He had the same look in his eyes that was there in the day, Nica immediately sat up. 

"Hey. What's going on, honey? What's the matter?"

"She lied. She fucking lied and I was a fucking idiot!" He accompanied his last claim with a punch to the bed before sitting himself facing Nica as she did her best to stay calm, "No. Don't talk about yourself like that."

"It's true! She told me everyone thought I was dead and I believed her. I'm a fucking missing person, I saw it on the news!" 

Nica could see the betrayal in his eyes. Junior hated lies, he hated secrets. He ran a hand through his hair in frustration, the self hatred clear on his face and it broke Nica’s heart.

"Oh, Junbug…" His expression softened a little at the nickname and he lay down, resting his head in her lap. He continued to take deep breaths as Nica gently played with his hair, focusing on the unique feeling of safety he only had then. 

"I hate her!" 

"Yeah, me too." 

"We have to find a way out, I hate this place."

"We will, we'll figure something out. We’ll find a way…"

"And I need Tiffany to get what she deserves…" Junior turned his head to see a mischievous grin form on Nica's face. 

"I like the sound of that, do you have any ideas?" 

With that, Junior gave a grin practically identical to the one Nica was still wearing. 

[weatheredleatherhat]

Inked (Karl Heisenberg x gender neutral reader)

Alright, so basically I should be asleep, but I’m too excited about the fact that I’m FINALLY getting my half sleeve tomorrow. Like I’ve got like eleven tattoos now (I constantly forget some because I can’t see them daily like the ones behind my ears and the one on my lower back), but I still get that little thrill whenever my appointment date comes around. I already know it’s gonna be fuckin’ spicy, I can practically feel it already.

But then I got to thinking about Heisenberg (as you do), and how I’d want nothing more than for him to gimme some ink 👀 Remember kids, do your research, think your designs through and go to someone reputable! Not gonna lie I’m real tempted to get the tattoo described in this fic lmao. Or I was thinking about getting his key on my arm to keep filling in the slowly growing lower sleeve? Anyway, if I do it, I’ll be sharing it on here. 

Sorry, enough rambling on. Enjoy!! 

“You sure about this?”

His eyebrow raised as he looked up towards your face, searching for any clue that you wanted to back out. You huffed a little, impatient to get started as you repositioned on the metal table to get yourself as comfortable as you could be. “I’m sure,” you promised. “Just get started when you’re ready, and don’t worry about me. I can handle it.”

Karl had always been fascinated with your tattoos. Considering he’d never left the village, the act of pushing ink into skin was pretty much unheard of, and he’d only ever seen a couple in pictures. But when you’d showed up, when you started to become closer and platonic had become romantic, you could feel his fingertips brush over them occasionally during an intimate moment. He’d asked about them; what they were or what they meant to you, and you answered with a smile on your face. Your tattoos meant a lot to you; you had suffered hours of pain to get them, had babied them as they healed and put up with the itchiness that drove you up the wall a couple of days into the healing.

You knew that he was good with machines, and that he knew how to keep things sterile and clean. Plus, he had this knack for art that not many knew about. Soldat designs, schematics, even a couple of portraits, you’d seen dextrous fingers sketch things out with a look of concentration plain on his face. It was your favourite thing; sitting on his lap as he worked and watching plain paper turn into a work of art over the passage of time. You’d lamented wanting another tattoo occasionally, and finally asked directly if he wanted to try it out some time. He’d told you that he would do some research and come back to you.

Duke had been happy to get some books on the subject for the right price, and you’d seen him reading them in his spare time. He’d also been slightly amused at Karl’s order for body safe inks, but like the brilliant merchant he was, sure enough they were in the crate with your next supply drop. Karl had designed his own tattoo machine from what he’d seen in the books, making sure that it worked like a charm before starting to practice on his creations. After that, a handful of soldats could be seen roaming the factory halls with his first designs covering their arms and legs. Finally, he’d asked what you wanted to have on your skin forever. And you didn’t give it much time before answering.

You were aware that getting tattoos of a partner’s name was usually the kiss of death in a relationship, but the concept was flimsy around symbolism. You’d come to this backwards village not expecting to find love, but here you were. And you wanted to have that forever written onto your skin. So, your mind had been made up. You were sure.

The design had gone through a couple of changes until you were both satisfied with it, but you’d fallen in love with the one that was now stencilled on you. Heisenberg’s crest, horse head looking to the left and framed with an upturned horseshoe, with delicate buttercup flowers adorning the crest. You’d decided to have it on your upper thigh, near to the hip. “So it can be for our eyes only,” you had told Karl, making his eyes light up with happiness.

Karl gently rubbed your waist with a latex gloved hand, offering a small smile as he stretched his back before he started. “Alright, darlin’. Lemme know if we need a break, and we’ll stop. You ready?”

You nodded, and you bit the inside of your cheek as the familiar sting was dragged across your sting. Just because you liked tattoos didn’t mean that they were exactly a pleasant feeling. A couple of parts on the more sensitive areas made you suck in a breath, and Karl’s eyes quickly darted to your face as he paused to make sure you were okay. But once in the swing of things, you could see that he was pretty into the process. The way his eyebrows furrowed in concentration, the small bite of his lower lip as he focused on getting every part perfect. For someone who’d never done this on a live person, you were pretty impressed on how it was looking so far. The fact that you were safe in the knowledge that he’d made sure everything was satanised and as clean as humanly possible aided your relaxation about the whole thing.

With a final wipe down of the design, he sat up with a large grin on his face as he put the machine down on the table beside him. “We’re all finished,” he announced with a flourish, picking up a hand mirror and handing it to you so you could view his handiwork. “How’d you like it?”

Your smile matched his in it’s intensity as you stared at the newest addition to your body art. It was everything you wanted; clean lines, well shaded and coloured, and more importantly it would be a permanent reminder of Karl. “I love it,” you enthused, enraptured in looking at it from different angles. “Thank you.”

“Glad to be of service, Buttercup,” he chuckled, grabbing the small roll of cling film from the table. “We’ll get it wrapped up, and Duke promised to send over some cocoa butter with our delivery later today.”

You practically flew off the table as he finished wrapping up your thigh, pressing a loving kiss onto his lips as your arms looped around his neck. He made a hum of approval at your action, kissing you back with fervour as his arms coiled around your waist. “Is that my reward for a job well done?”

“I’ve got other things in mind for that,” you smirked, his brow arching at the implication.

In truth, there wasn’t really a way to make it up to him. He’d done something for you, something to make you happy, having to learn a whole new skill to do so. And now, you’d always have him nearby, whenever you brushed your hand against your leg in the future. And the thought made your heart fill until it threatened to spill over with adoration.

[dormont]

Let this ask be an invitation to ramble about your ocs GO!!!!!

SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG TO RESPOND TO LMAO i was trying to figure out what to talk about and how to do it without dropping major spoilers sooo main series tie ins and human lore ahoy

i'm still working a lot of this out but i wanna come up with reasons why humans were in the pmdverse, as to justify the existence of asta (explorers hero) and zaya (psmd hero). historically there was one guy that was there way before even the events of rt, and him being there is actually why mewtwo exists in pmd. i'm just working out how other people got there in order to continue the lineage. though, if pla is any indication, arceus is a big fan of upending people's lives and putting them in situations so maybe they just send people to the pmd world for fun every so often (they're uhh. not very good in ttb lol). i do know that as of explorers there's a small group of humans that live in seclusion but are managing fine.

speaking of explorers, when the bad future hit this caused most, if not all, of the humans to be wiped out, leaving asta as the only survivor, who was eventually found by grovyle's mother and taken in to be raised alongside him. since they were killed before the future was changed, i can't see the humans being brought back like the future trio and asta are. i guess humans are pretty much extinct in the future timeline. in the past timeline, however, they are still thriving and i imagine that they still exist as of ttb. i don't really have any plans to involve them right now but that could be something to consider eventually.

so how does zaya fit into all this? well zaya is an (indirect) ancestor of asta! indirect because zaya is still a child when she gets sent forward in time so she wouldn't have kids of her own to be a direct ancestor. so zaya was born way before asta was, and was sent forward in time to about 50ish years after the events of explorers, and thus ended up being younger than her descendant.

if you're confused about all of this time travel then don't worry because i am too KSBDJDJJD this is why i try to avoid time travel stories but you can't do that here tbh. here's a simplified timeline of events that sorta makes more sense ig?:

-zaya is born

-zaya is sent into the future by mew

-asta is born before zaya finishes her journey

-asta travels back in time to the past and the events of explorers happen, but this is still after zaya's original time

-gates to infinity?????

-zaya finishes her journey and the events of super take place. as said before, this is around 50ish years after the events of explorers, so asta and zaya are both alive concurrently here (and still are as of ttb! don't think the two know each other though)

now time for a completely different topic in regards to the subject: verity! no time travel shit here and her story has no relation to what was said previously other than "arceus is a dick sometimes."

i can't go too much into verity's backstory and why she desparately needs therapy but i have some minor tidbits i can give away. i finally decided that she's originally from sinnoh, as it felt fitting with how arceus and giratina and a certain other species made in arceus' image are relevant to ttb, and her having knowledge on its mythos lends credence to her actions prior to the story.

the last thing i wanna talk about is her name, as this is a new thing i literally just came up with today lol. verity's name has been that since i started taking these ocs more seriously back in early 2022, which was long before i had ever thought up her backstory. so it's just a bit of a wild coincidence that sinnoh has a lake called verity and my sinnoh-born oc also has that name for completely unrelated reasons, so it would be a missed opportunity to not connect the two right? all i can really say for now is that lake verity ends up being a significant place for verity while she's in the human world.

so until today i had thought that finnian and kaira would give verity her name as just a cute reversal of how the player names the partner typically. but now i'm thinking that, while verity doesn't remember "her name" (in quotations for transgender reasons) upon being transformed, the word "verity" is something that rings a bell for her. and so finnian and kaira are like "maybe that's your name, since it is a name" and with no better option verity goes along with it.

tysm for letting me talk about my guys. it's fun doing this as i have a bad habit of coming up with stuff as i'm writing it JSHJSHDJHD

[numetaljackdog]

WILT 1/8/2024

spotify//youtube

Limp Bizkit - Leech: trying to get some of my friends into lb and this is the song that sold it for at least one of them

Nirvana - Been A Son: may well be my favorite nirvana track. every single lyric is like. owwww

Daniel Johnston - Walking the Cow: i have been on my bullshit about this whole album for like a full month. trying to learn this one on the piano

Daniel Johnston - Keep Punching Joe: i like the slightly more upbeat, almost kind of bluesy feel he put into this one. it feels very character-driven and humorous while still being a... unique exploration of victimhood

Breaking Benjamin - Polyamorous: this seems like it would be soooo fun to sing live. i just love all of ben's little enunciations and syllables here, his unique voice is so dear to me bc of how long i've been listening to bb. also god forbid poly bitches do anything

Suicidal Tendencies - Suicidal Failure: have also been on my bullshit with this album. i don't really want to talk about this track though, i don't feel like getting too personal

Nirvana - Rape Me: this one also feels weird to talk about publicly. but i've been listening to a lot of in utero tracks, not necessarily the album front to back but just my favs and this is definitely up there. an infamously raw and real record at perhaps its rawest and realest

Gene Wilder - Pure Imagination: i saw the new wonka movie in theaters and was surprised to find i actually enjoyed it a good bit. that nice warm feeling led me to listen to some of the soundtrack of the original and remind myself of how much i love it. i could have easily put the scary boat song on here too

Suicidal Tendencies - Subliminal: i don't really care that much about the actual message of the song pertaining to subliminal messaging in media, i think there are other takes on that subject that have done it a lot better than mike's clumsy rambling. but i do identify immensely with just the feeling of sickening paranoia that the song captures. maybe it's not coming through the television but SOMEBODY is fucking with me. subliminally...

Daniel Johnston - I Am a Baby (In My Universe): okay i won't lie this one is kind of funny. like openly funny and ridiculous rather than the more layered playfulness of the rest of the album. oOoOoOoh i'm only 22........ i'll live forever ^_^ idk. it's still real as fuck though, i feel like a dipshit baby all the time

Kurt Cobain - Rehash: when you listen to home tapes like this, i feel like it really gives such greater dimensions to who kurt cobain was as an artist. in a way, it feels not dissimilar to something like the scrappy brilliant work of an indie pioneer like daniel johnston, which makes sense considering kurt was a fan of the guy's work. at the same time, this particular track is kind of silly and has him doing that voice that i hardly even recognize as his. i've been wanting to watch montage of heck, and this one is here as a marker of my love for the sounds of these home recordings more generally

Korn - Faget: there's a lot of discussion to be had around when it's okay for artists to use this word, but in general i tend to find that alternative artists who use it in a way that identifies with it is something i can't really be mad at. korn, and more specifically jonathan davis, is a freak show of alternative music that appealed to other freak shows. the fact that jd chose to identify himself with the word "faggot" in this song due to his experiences as an outcast and victim of bullying is at worst misguided, and i bet it made a lot of other outcasts and victims in 1994 feel seen, feel less alone. i think that's worthwhile. however it is also funny that a few years later korn would release "all in the family" which is like if someone decided to drag out the meager concept of a homophobic slur into a full album track

The Romantics - What I Like About You: was rewatching pat finnerty videos and got this stuck in my head from the bit where he talks about this song in the dani california video. not much to say except it's a tune! also goes in the file of songs that seem very fun to sing live

Metallica - Wherever I May Roam: oh yeah now we get into the rock adn roll babey 🎸🎵 i mentioned in an audio ask that i've been really indulging in the dumb rock music and 90s metallica is like the prototype for all meathead rock that followed. it's solid though, there's a reason why it got so popular. this is a good track, i really like the prechorus

Puddle Of Mudd - Blurry: possibly the dirtbaggiest of all the dirtbag rock. that's not true actually there's still shit like theory of a deadman and fuckin buckcherry and whatever, stuff that even i don't touch. but idk puddle of mudd just hits now and then with the scratchy yucky vocals and stupidass riffs and this is hands-down one of the best songs off the album. it's at least kind of about something. and ngl everything is pretty blurry nowadays

Tom Petty - Love Is A Long Road: shoutout tom. was listening to full moon fever again and realized how much of a tune this was. big chorus with the good good blend of new wave and americana rock that he always brought

Muscadine Bloodline - Me On You: with country being as big as it is right now and me trying to connect with that sort of honest and grounded feeling that rock and roll gives people, it seemed natural that i would make another attempt to properly get into country. i came across this one on a country rock playlist i was exploring and took to it because of the nice growl in the singer's voice and the rapidfire delivery of lines with some tasty internal rhymes. nothing special but it rips. i am a little wary of the "bloodline" part of these guys' band name but i looked them up and couldn't find anything that immediately sent me running? idk i hope they aren't shitheads

The Offspring - D.U.I.: the drunk driving fandom is dying, can't imagine why. discovered on the soundtrack for "i know what you did last summer" which i picked up on cd at a thrift store

3 Doors Down - Kryptonite: okay these guys actually do suck major shit. and so does this song actually. but it's on here bc i've heard it a million jillion times and have been listening to it a lot again, after watching the pat finnerty video about this. man i feel like i'm cheating on todd this month or something wtf. anyway i discovered not long ago that i've been mishearing the lyrics to this song my entire life in a pretty major way. honestly it's overdue for its own installment in my little series where i explain my misheard lyrics and the much better implications i derived from them. basically i always heard the chorus as "i'll keep you by my side, you're my superhero man/my aching kryptonite" which is WAY more words than are actually in the chorus. the singer just chews on the syllables so much that i always heard them as separate words. but i always thought it was a song about a kind of shitty guy who was trying to be better and act like a superhero for his partner who he viewed as his own super savior, as well as his weakness (kryptonite) because of how much he loved them. i thought it was a really sweet song. but it's just about a douchebag guy who acts like a douchebag to his partner who he doesn't seem to actually like very much. it's not a good song. but again, butt rock. sorry

[tealeavesandthorns]

OOC Post | How the 'tism affects my rping!

// I wanted to create this post to try and help people understand how autism and to an extent adhd can affect my RPing abilities.

In the past both of these things have negatively affected my ability (though to be fair I wasn't aware that either of those were problems I suffered with).

To be entirely honest, I'm still figuring out a lot about autism, about the way it affects my brain, about how it's both hurt and helped me in the past. I suppose the biggest thing I'm asking for is patience and mostly direct speech.

This post got long and a bit rambly. So the long and short of it is:

I sometimes struggle in group settings, especially where the focus becomes on the personal rather than a specific subject

I sometimes struggle with communication, including setting boundaries.

Due to masking I sometimes struggle with setting boundaries

I sometimes struggle (not autism this one but anxiety), with expectations I perceive people to have built up around me, especially when I am having a hard time.

Under the read more though there is a rambly post about struggling with rping and realisations I've had.... for those who want to read or are interested. If you have any questions too please feel free to message me.

Communication and masking are the biggest two things I have seen affect my roleplaying in the past, hence focusing on these.

Like many autistic people though I have things that run alongside my autism - anxiety, OCD, occasional depression and there's a high probability of ADHD. Whilst these have also contributed to certain breakdowns over the years I feel like the autism has been the biggest cause and now understanding it, I think, will stopped me getting burned out as easily.

COMMUNICATION & MASKING

Roleplaying is a communicative hobby - I know this, you know this. RPing requires communicating and building intricate relationships for characters with worlds and partners.

Where I struggle is when the focus switches from story to personal lives. I'm going to be direct here because it's the only way I know how to say this; I have loved every organic friendship that has come about because of tumblr and the tumblr roleplay community. However because of masking I have often put too high demands on myself or cultivated relationships where I feel I need to be available at all times. I have quickly burnt out. Because I didn't understand why I was so frustrated and upset with those relationships when they have broken down. I have disappeared or ended up alone.

I'm not just blaming my autism here, I hope that comes across. I take full responsibility for those breakdowns but the fact is I didn't understand what was happening to me.

Due to masking all my life I was unable to set proper boundaries and I began to struggle when people were talking to me about personal problems more than we were ever writing or talking about writing.

That probably sounds harsh. Writing is my special interest though and in some ways I guess it could be considered a stim. I love writing, it's all I want to do and plotting and talking about characters and headcanons and meta brought me so much joy.

I really struggled too because I felt like I wasn't being fair to people who were actively, clearly, trying to befriend me. I struggled in group settings when people tried to organize socials and even more so when there were chaotic games of cards against humanity.

Part of it was me not wanting to miss out and I absolutely could not keep up with a shedule of nights being up til 4am and then back awake for my job.

And this is where the potential ADHD comes in because inspite of all those things I LOVE a million threads, I love a million threads with different partners and with one partner. I love a million universes, I love building little universes in our corners of the internet. I love making friends and talking to people and my god if I like your character and you I will go to the ends of the earth for you. I'll help you and love on you and suggest a million threads.

That's intense right?

But see the problem is I then can't keep up that level on intensity and I burn out.

I also struggle with a strong sense of justice. I never thought I would say those words but it is now becoming abundantly clear to me that my strong sense of justice, that moral compass inside me has bitten me on the ass a few times for things that were relatively minor and that normal people can brush off.

Like I said I'm still figuring out a lot about my autism and how it impacts me in all areas of my life. Rp and writing is one of those areas I need to tease apart. It's not been as easy, as say, understanding how it effects my senses.

[darckcarnival]

What is your opinion of other monsters? Ones not of supernatural origin, but made by hand by man?

"Now that's a can of worms you just opened here, considering I have some very heavy ones on that subject." The voice was calm as can be, but Darck's eyes behind purple sunglasses had become sharp. The very subject sparking against the flint and steel of her self control and the anger that followed it near immediately. It was a complicated conversation really, when one takes into consideration the things of which she has seen time and time again, through different means and for different reasons.

A click of her tongue, and the brunette is then crossing her arms. Deciding to try and take the simple route for this, but even that might get a bit much. "It all depends on the reson why such was made. That has a a huge difference on my opinions of the subject... More often than not? Those that were made, or changed, are victims. It was against their will or they never had a chance for anything else, and I feel terrible for those individuals. They deserve a better fate, not what was forced on them. Often times there is no choice but to put such creatures down... However! There are times when you can reason, and come to an understanding, just so you can save a life, turn them around... Infected or not, there are those out there with a better heart than the options others gave them. Those that create such creatures or mutate innocent lives, have my eternal hatred and ire."

A cock of the head to pause, try and not ramble on about that subject it's self. She's been there to try and do just that, help them. May as well move onto the next section. "Yet there are also those who are doing such things for protection, and bettering of lives. Or even their own life, following to help others. These situations are... Tense, and can be considered dangerous. Yet make the most of it. The path to hell is paved with good intentions, as the saying goes, and I know that damn well. One needs to be careful of how they go about goals that could help others or what they think is best... It is a slippery slope that could end in disaster. Take into consideration those around you, and others you know. It can be exhausting, I know this well, but still... It helps."

It was now that the brunette's expression steeled, and the anger returned. Jaw tight, tense. This is where her opinions became vicious.

"And then you have those who willingly turn themselves into something else for entirely selfish, or insane, reasoning. Hunger for power, for control, to advance or some other bullshit. And they do not care how many lives that they destroy in the process. These ones I would have no qualm throwing down with, and have done so, more than once. They crave destruction, hunger for more, to sit above it all. Not realizing that they are as susceptible to death as anyone else. This is something I am more than happy to prove wrong..." The woman's voice trailed off, going lower, a growl rumbling behind every word.

"Boot leg imitations of whats real. If one plays at pretending to be of the monsters, of the dead, then they are destined, To Join. Their. Ranks."

[thebibliosphere]

So I'm currently unemployed because I got fired for taking too much sick leave (it was legally sketchy blah blah blah but in the end I just can't work and take care of myself and investigate my mystery health problems at the same time). So I've been spending more time writing!

I really admire your writing and loved Hunger Pangs. I'm looking forward to the poly elements developing and I'm wondering if you have any advice for writing about poly. I've made one of my projects a snarky take on "write what you know" ... Apparently what I know is southern gothic meets Pacific northwest gothic, chronic illness pandemic surrealism, and falling back-asswards into threesomes.

I know this is a very open-ended question and I don't expect an answer, I'm just curious about it if you have the energy. As a writer, trying to write honestly / realistically about polyamory/enm, I'm curious if you have any thoughts on what's different about portraying monogamy or nonmonogamy in books, romance or erotica or otherwise.

I'm trying to read examples but it's hard to find examples that fit the niche I'm looking at. Excuse me if this question is nonsense, it's the cluster headaches.

I'm sorry to hear you've been dealing with all that and solidarity on the cluster headaches. But I'm glad you're finding an outlet through writing! And I hope you're happy with an open-ended ramble in response because oh boy, there's a lot I could talk about and I could probably do a better job of answering this sort of thing with more specific questions, but let's see where we end up.

There's definitely a big difference between writing polyamory/ENM (ethical non-monogamy) and what people often expect from monogamous love stories.

Just even from a purely sales and marketing standpoint, the moment you write anything polyamorous (or even just straight up LGBTQIA+ without the ENM) you're going to get considered closer to being erotica/obscene than hetero romances. It's an unfair bias, but it's one that exists in our society. But also the Amazon algorithm and their shitty, shitty human censors. Especially the ones that work the weekends. (Talking to you, Carlos 🖕.)

So not only do you start out hyper-aware that you're writing something that is highly stigmatized or fetishized (at least I'm hyper-aware) but that you are also writing for a niche market that is starving for positive content because the content that exists is either limited, not what they want, or is problematic in some fashion i.e. highly stigmatized or fetishy. And even then, the wants, desires, and expectations of the community you're writing for are complex and wildly varied and hard to fit into an easy formula.

When writing monogamous love stories, there is a set expectation that’s really hard to fuck up once you know it. X person meets Y. Attraction happens, followed by some sort of minor conflict/resolution. Other plot may happen. A greater catalyst involving personal growth for both parties (hopefully) happens. Follow the equation to its ultimate resolution and achieve Happily Ever After. 

But writing ENM is... a lot more difficult, if only because of the pure scope of possibilities. You could try to follow the same equation and shove three (or more) people into it, but it rarely works well. Usually because if you’re doing it right, you won’t have enough room in a single character arc to allow for enough growth, and if ENM requires anything in abundance, it’s room to grow.

And this post is huge so I’m going to put the rest under a cut :)

There's also a common refrain in certain online polyam/ENM circles that triads and throuples are overrepresented in media and they may be right to some extent. Personally, I believe the issue isn't that triads and throuples are overrepresented, but that there is such minuscule positive rep of ethical non-monogamy in general, that the few tiny instances we have of triads in media make it seem like it's "everywhere" when in actuality, it's still quite rare and the media we do have often veers into Unicorn Hunter fetish porn. Which is its own problematic thing. And just to be clear, I’m not including this part to dissuade you from writing "falling back-asswards into threesomes." If anything, I need more of it and would hook it directly into my brain if I could. I'm just throwing it out there into the void in the hope that someone will take the thought and run with it, lol.

I’d love to see more polyfidelitous rep in fiction, just as much as I’d like to see more relationship anarchy too. More diversity in fiction is always good.

Another thing that differs in writing ENM romance vs conventional monogamy is the feeling like you need to justify yourself. There's a lot of pressure to be as healthy and non-problematic as possible because you are being held to a higher standard of criticism. Both from people from without the ENM communities, and from the people within. Granted, some people don't give a shit and just want to read some fantastic porn (valid) but there are those who will cheerfully read Fifty Shades of Bullshit and call it "spicy" and "romantic," then turn around and call the most tooth-rottingly-sweet-fluff about a queer platonic polycule heresy. That's just the way the world works.

(Pro-tip for author life in general: never read your own reviews; that way madness lies. I glimpsed one the other day that tagged Hunger Pangs as “ethical cheating” and just about had an aneurism.)

And while that feeling of needing to justify yourself comes from a valid place of being excluded from the table of socially accepted norms, it can also be to the detriment of both the story and the subject matter at hand. I've seen some authors bend so far over backward to avoid being problematic in their portrayal of ENM, they end up being problematic for entirely different reasons. Usually because they give such a skewed, rose-tinted perspective of how things work, it ends up coming off as well... a bit culty and obnoxious tbh.

“Look how enlightened we are, freed from the trappings of monogamy and jealousy! We’re all so honest and perfect and happy!”

Yeah, uhu, sure Jan. Except here’s the thing, not all jealousy is bad. How you act on it can be, but jealousy itself is an important tool in the junk drawer that is the range of human emotion. It can clue us in to when we’re feeling sad or neglected, which in turn means we should figure out why we’re feeling those things. Sometimes it’s because brains are just like that and anxiety is a thing. Other times it’s because our needs are actually being neglected and we are in an unhealthy situation we need to remedy. You gotta put the work in to figure it out. Which is the same as any style of relationship, whether it’s mono, polyam or whatever flavor of ENM you subscribe to* And sometimes you just gotta be messy, because that’s how humans are. Being afraid to show that mess makes it a dishonest portrayal, and it also robs you of some great cannon fodder for character development.

Which brings me in a roundabout way to my current pet peeve in how certain writers take monogamous ideals and apply them to ENM, sometimes without even realizing it. The “Find the Right Person and Settle Down” trope.

Often, in this case, ENM or polyamory is treated as a phase. Something you mature out of with age or until you meet “The One(tm).” This is, of course, an attempt to follow the mono style formula expected in most romances. And while it might appeal to many readers, it’s uh, actually quite insulting. 

To give an example, I am currently seeing this a lot in the Witcher fandom. 

Fanon Netflix!Jaskier is everyone's favorite ethical slut until he meets Geralt then woops, wouldn’t you know, he just needed to find The One(tm). Suddenly, all his other sexual and romantic exploits or attractions mean nothing to him. Let's watch as he throws away a core aspect of his personality in favor of a man. 

Yeah... that sure showed those societal norms... 

If I were being generous, I’d say it’s a poor attempt at showing New Relationship Euphoria and how wrapped up people can become in new relationships. But honestly, it’s monogamous bias eking its way in to validate how special and unique the relationship is. Because sometimes people really can’t think of any other way to show how important and valid a relationship is without defining it in terms of exclusivity. Which is a fundamental misunderstanding of how ENM works for a lot of people and invalidates a lot of loving, serious and long-term relationships.

This is not to say that some polyam/poly-leaning people can't be happy in monogamous relationships! I am! (I consider myself ambiamorous. I'm happy with either monogamy or polyamory, it really just depends on the relationship(s) I’m in.) But I also don't regard my relationship with a mono partner as "settling down" or "growing up." It's just a choice I made to be with a person I love, and it's a valid one. Just like choosing to never close yourself off to multiple relationships is valid. And I wish more people realized that, or rather, I wish the people writing these things knew that :P

Anyway, I think I’ve rambled enough. I hope this collection of incoherent thoughts actually makes some sense and might be useful. 

----

*A good resource book that doesn't pull any punches in this regard is Polysecure by Jessica Fern. It's a wonderfully insightful read that explores the messier side of consensual non-monogamy, especially with how it can be affected by trauma or inter-relationship conflicts. But it also shows how to take better steps toward healthy, ethical non-monogamy (a far better job than More Than Two**) and conflict resolution, making it a valuable resource both for someone who is a part of this relationship style***, but also for writers on the outside looking in who might have a very simple or misguided idea of what conflict within polyam/ENM relationships might look like, vs traditional monogamous ones.

** The author of More Than Two has been accused of multiple accounts of abuse within the polyamorous community, with many of his coauthors having spoken out about the gaslighting and emotional and psychological damage they experienced while in a relationship with him. A lot of their stories are documented here: https://www.itrippedonthepolystair.com/ (warning: it is not light material and deals with issues of abuse, gaslighting, and a whole other plethora of Yikes.) While some people still find More Than Two helpful reading, there are now, thankfully, much, much better resources out there.

*** Some people consider polyam/ENM to be part of their identity or orientation, while others view it as a relationship style.It largely depends on the individual. 

[wifeyreid]

Solitaire with Spencer

This is what I imagine playing solitaire with our resident genius Dr Spencer Reid would look like! I play solitaire allot on my laptop (hence the theme) on Microsoft solitaire collection. So the actual playing of solitaire is specific to that. This goes without saying but please don’t repost my work, reblogs are welcome however.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x GN!Reader

Content: Pure SFW fluff, brief use of Y/N

Words: 546

Warnings: None, although this hasn’t been peer reviewed? is that what it’s called? so there might be a few mistakes.

A/N: This is my second Fanfiction writing extravaganza/expedition/whatever the fuck you wanna call it. Although I’m counting it as my first, because well, my actual first one was a croc of shite and riddled with cringe. Urban Dictionary definition of cringe: that fic. so, to my audience of idk how many, here’s my *first* fic! 

    The living room is cozy, warm and compact, which adds to the atmosphere. It’s a box room with a small and comfy L shaped couch in the left hand corner of the room. On the wall opposite it, centred, is a decently sized fireplace. To the left of it is a tv stand and tv. On the wall to the left of the fireplace was the door into the room, and a bookshelf which is practically filled to the brim with books. Not surprising for the apartment, considering you and spencer are its inhabitants. And, in the middle of the room was a mahogany coffee table. You were sitting on the couch, solitaire open on your laptop, as spencer walked in with two coffees in his hand. One of which had an exorbitant amount of sugar.

    “You know any card game is really all just math. They’re not that difficult to figure out” Spencer stated, putting your coffees on the table, making sure not to mix up the two. “Is that why you’re banned from nearly every casino in Vegas?” Y/N quipped. Spencer loved it whenever you played cards. The concentration that exuded from your face was truly a sight to see. He thought it was really cute. I mean he thought anything you did was cute but, this took the cake. “spencer?” Y/n interjected, waving their hands in his face in an attempt at catching his often times fickle attention. “oh uh, hey look!” He blurted, hoping you didn’t notice his blatant daydreaming. He could have sworn his body was working against him, as a faint blush was forming on his cheeks. “It’s telling you you’ve run out of moves” he stated, trying quickly to change subject and draw attention away from his face. Darned cheeks have a mind of their own, he thought. You noticed, but decided you’d let it slide. Just this once. But.. not without teasing him about it first. You loved how flustered it made him.  “Guess captain obvious decided to show up” you giggled. “Who’s that? Is it a new marvel character? did you know Marvel Comics has over 7,000 characters, and more than 50,000 if you count one off and secondary characters?” spencer asked “oh and there’s over 10,000 characters in the DC comics!” he exclaimed. “Oh how I love it when you ramble” you chuckled “but it’s a saying Spence. I was just teasing you for pointing out the obvious” you explained. Seemingly impossible, Spencer’s face went an even brighter red, causing you both to break out into a fit of laughter. After a moments bliss, you decided to speak again, saving him his embarrassment. Even though you had been dating for two years, well, two years, 4 months, 7 days, and 15 minutes if you ask Spencer, he still gets sheepish around you. “ Now, can I get back to Solitaire. I’m determined to win” you asked, your lips forming a smug grin. “you sure you don’t need any help?” Spencer teased “Captain I’m bad at solitaire.” He paused. “No offence.” You put your hand to your chest, pretending rather dramatically, to take a blow to the heart but you stopped abruptly “ Hey!! I am not bad at solitaire!” you remarked. “But, help would be appreciated.”

[spencersawkward]

if you feel comfortable with it, I’d love a prof Spence where reader is a student and goes to office hours to initiate ~smutty goodness~ but Spencer is reluctant at first bc his job but they flirt more and eventually sleep together

me n my professor kink when i saw this: 😏 anyway yes i am quite comfortable writing about this lol. i took some ✨creative liberties✨ with your request so i'm sorry if it isn't exactly what you wanted! 

summary: reader is a student in Dr. Reid’s class, but she’s been something of a poor student-- office hours are the only solution.

relationship: Fem!Reader/Professor!Spencer

content warnings: unprotected penetrative sex, fingering, rough sex, super brief hair-pulling, creampie, dirty talk, spanking, age gap, degradation-- he gets pretty dominant oops.

word count: 4.5k

masterlist

popping in a piece of gum, I make my way to the back of the hall. there are a few people here already, but it's a little early. I'm never early. in fact, I'm usually late; my other class is on the other side of campus, and getting here involves a lot of embarrassing speed-walking.

but here I am, five minutes ahead of schedule and actually in a decent seat. as I flip open my textbook and pull my laptop out of my bag to prepare to take notes, my gaze slides down to the corner of the room, where Dr. Reid is standing up with a pile of papers. he walks over to the girl in the front row, handing her the stack and gesturing for her to pass it along.

I resist the urge to roll my eyes. he's a total luddite. the first day, Dr. Reid spent about ten minutes rambling about the importance of reading from a physical book rather than online sources-- which, although I definitely agree with, means a lot more lugging around folders and organizing all the readings he gives out. if he wasn't so hot, I would have switched into another course.

and I know it's wrong to be daydreaming about my professor slamming me into a wall while he discusses the intricacies of quantum theory. the complete cliché of it is embarrassing. but still, I just can't stop thinking about him: how his fingers would feel around my throat, the smooth wooden surface of his desk against my cheek as he bends me over and pulls my panties to the side--

"glad to see you've decided to join us, today, Ms. Y/L/N." Dr. Reid's voice startles me out of my thoughts. he's standing towards the front of the room while students file in. his hands are resting in his pockets with his eyebrows pleasantly raised.

"glad to see you've noticed." I retort, too irritated with his comment to care about being polite.

a couple people look at me. even though I'm generally not on time, he tends to just glance my way when I walk in and leaves it at that. I know he doesn't like it, although I personally don't care. I hate this course.

he seems visibly surprised by my response but doesn't reply, gaze lingering on mine before he turns to speak to a student trying to get his attention. I bite back a smile. fucking asshole.

as usual, Dr. Reid writes in his thin, messy lettering on the board while wandering around the front of the room. he's quite fidgety, even though his voice doesn't betray any sort of nervousness. it's like he's naturally overactive.

every word out of his mouth is enunciated, sometimes spoken faster when he gets particularly impassioned by the subject. he's interesting to look at, too. messy curls and a nice suit, stubble that straddles the line between refinement and ruggedness.

I type quickly, but it isn't fast enough and the strange illustrations he does on the board only complicate things. I try to write them down in my notebook, but my handwriting is jagged; sometimes it's hard to read. when a student raises her hand for a clarification, I take the opportunity to catch up.

my head jerks up as soon as I'm finished and he's looking at me while he speaks. even from so many feet away, the intensity strikes me. he's gesticulating and crossing the room. I hold eye contact.

I wonder if he dates often; a couple of the girls in my row always stare at him throughout the lectures. he seems to be completely unaware of the effect he has on people. sometimes I'll see him in the hallway and he has his nose buried in a book, or a to-go cup of coffee, or both. either way, there seems to be no more room in that head of his for romance.

which, naturally, makes me curious about how he looks when he's on the edge of orgasm. if that composure is replaced with a contorted pleasure. I want to break him.

it's like he can read my thoughts, because Dr. Reid averts his gaze. my stomach twists with a strange anticipation. he avoids looking my way for the rest of the time.

towards the end of class, I start to pack my things to go. I have three papers to write, and my utter lack of interest in this is making me eager to leave. I shove my textbook into my bag the second my professor starts to make closing remarks.

"don't forget that we have a midterm in two weeks!" he says in a slightly louder voice as people start to move around. "if you have any questions, my office hours are posted on the bulletin board outside."

at this, my eyebrows rise. I forgot about the midterm. I have a study calendar set up for all my subjects, but I've purposefully been putting this one off. I'm not super into math. and it doesn't help that most of my time is spent not listening. when I am, it doesn't make sense.

as I stand up and gather my stuff, I hear someone clearing their throat a couple feet away. my head turns to see Dr. Reid leaning against his desk.

"Ms. Y/L/N, can I see you for a second?"

my heart stutters in my chest. is this about my attitude? he's never asked to see me outside of lessons before.

I frown, making my way to him with a deliberate pace. the tension in the room builds as I watch the last of his students shuffle out of the room. my head turns from the door to him; my breath catches a little in my throat at the set of his jaw. part of me hopes I get yelled at.

"I'm concerned about your participation in this class." he says. his voice isn't cruel, but it is brutally honest— which is worse. participation? I feel my fist clench at my side. my professors don't usually say anything if you aren't doing things up to their expectations; if you aren't, then they give you a bad grade. simple as that.

"is this about me being late?" I ask. he lets out a sigh before answering. he sounds disappointed.

"you're constantly tardy, and when you hand in your homework, you barely seem to have put in the effort. it's messy."

"messy?" I start to get annoyed. I'm only doing this so that I can get my degree. it's a fucking requirement. even though I'm not the biggest fan of mathematics, I still do my best and hand in my assignments on time. plus, the latest I arrive is five minutes-- it's not like I'm stumbling in halfway through the lesson.

"you've never come to office hours to ask for help or explained your lateness, which I, as your professor, would have appreciated." he scolds. honestly, I don't know what to say. my eyes narrow.

"I have my studio class on the other side of campus." I explain. "I should have emailed about that and I'm sorry, but I'm also not being lax about my work."

he goes around to the other side of his desk and glances up at me while he organizes some loose documents to pack away. he looks way too good when he's exasperated: his hands tighten around the papers, his eyebrows come together in this cute way. his tie is a little crooked, too.

"are you struggling with the content?"

"sometimes, yeah. but I can handle reaching out for help if I need it." I reply. he's pissing me off with these questions. I can see from the expression on his face that he's surprised by my reaction.

"really?" he slides some books into his messenger bag. that was definitely sarcastic; I know it was. "because it doesn't really seem like you have."

"I like to find help on my own." I shoulder my bag and cross my arms over my chest. there's no way he's gonna talk to me like that and expect me to not respond in kind.

"I'm reserving a slot on Wednesday evening for you," he looks up and holds my gaze. hazel irises that dare me to challenge him further. "I want you in office hours so that we can figure out how you're gonna catch up before the midterm."

"fine." I turn on my heel and leave. I know I'm not supposed to talk to my professor like that, or even to behave with such apprehension. but something about him makes me angry in the kind of way that settles in my stomach. I hate that he's right. I'm not going to do well on that damn test if I don't get some help.

but that doesn't mean I can't have some fun with it.

when I rush into his office on Wednesday evening, the sun is just starting to set through his window. there's a pinkish glow that smooths over Dr. Reid's desk as he glances up at me. I had to run to get here.

"you're late." he nods to the clock on the wall. I roll my eyes.

"only one minute, though. I had another class."

he sighs and folds his hands on his desk. "how are you doing today, Ms. Y/L/N?" a strangely polite question for the look on his face. he's frustrated with me.

"I'm quite well, Dr. Reid." I smile brightly, slightly excited by the anger on his face, and sit at the chair in front of his desk.

"I didn't know you were interested in art." he says simply. I'm confused for a moment before I remember that I told him that the course before his is a studio lesson.

"I didn't know you cared."

"do you make a habit of that?" he quirks an eyebrow.

"of what?" my expression is saccharine.

"being rude to people who control your grades."

"unless you're considering being unethical in your practices and allowing your personal opinion of me to influence my grade, then no." I counter. he's silent for a moment, taking in my words like they've left a mark on him.

"well, you'd most likely fail if I asked you to leave my office hours right now. whose fault would that be?" he fidgets with his hands and leans forward just a bit, his voice dropping to a lower tone. I bite back a smile.

"you wouldn't."

"and why is that?" he baits.

"because you're not a shitty professor, Dr. Reid," I lean back in my chair and cross my legs. "as angry as you are, you wouldn't be able to live with yourself if you kicked me— a struggling student— out of here for giving you a little attitude."

"a little attitude?" he scoffs. "you've spent the whole semester completely ambivalent."

"not completely." I shrug.

"Y/N, you draw all over your tests and leave at least one problem half-finished every time. you obviously aren't learning." he chuckles mirthlessly. I concede this point; I like to doodle when I'm bored. and there's absolutely nothing more boring to me than numbers.

"okay," I sit up and rest my elbows on the edge of his desk, staring at him. "then teach me."

Dr. Reid holds my gaze for a long moment. we're suspended, it seems, as his lips part and he finds himself speechless. the way I said the words obviously has another layer to it-- he just has to decide whether or not to take the bait.

"what are you struggling with?" he clears his throat and sits up a bit straighter in his seat. that answers my question, I guess. I poke my tongue between my teeth gently, but then pull out my notebook and flip it to a page with some problems outlined on it.

"these." I toss the thing onto his side and he begins to run through the assignment. I watch him pick up a pen and start to explain the steps, slipping into his usual educational tone. his shoulders relax a little as he writes.

I can't see right from the angle I'm at, so I stand and come around onto his side. I hear him pause his speaking for a moment at my proximity, but he doesn't move away.

"does that make sense?" he asks me once he's finished running through the first problem. he basically did all the work. the professor's head turns to gauge my reaction to the explanation, but his eye line is right at the hem of my skirt-- which is already pretty short. for all his attempts to be subtle, he gulps and looks up at me.

"mostly." I brush a piece of hair behind my ear and pretend to scratch at a spot on my upper thigh, dragging the edge of my skirt with it until he can see the smooth skin beneath, practically begging for his touch. "can I ask you a question?"

"sure." he keeps his eyes almost too focused on mine. I try to hide the smile tugging at my lips. now or never, I guess.

"what's your policy on professor/student relationships?"

"my-- my what?" this time, he's audibly scattered when he turns to me. his eyes are wide, dark. even he can't hide his feelings.

"you know," I run my fingertips over the tweed shoulder of his jacket. I can sense the tension beneath his clothes. "like, your policy on fucking a student."

"I--" his cheeks turn pink. he's flustered, albeit not rejecting my touch. "I've never had to think about it before."

"hmm," I look off to the side as if considering this point. his chair is fully turned to face me now, and I'm standing in front of him, almost completely his for the taking. all he has to do is close the gap. "well, what are you thinking about it right now?"

"it's wrong." he stumbles over the words.

"why?"

"well, I mean, you're a student--"

"for a semester that's almost over." I cut him off. he opens and closes his mouth. I take a deep breath, toying with the hem of my skirt. "I know you've been looking at me during class."

"w-what?"

"you're pretty good at hiding it, but you call on me a lot and you get all messed up when I hold eye contact too long during lectures." I say.

he looks down and back up apologetically. he's just sitting there, lap wide open. so I do what any sane girl in my position would do: I climb into it, straddling him and resting my arms around his neck. he sucks in a breath.

"you pretend I'm such a pain," I lean down by his ear, my core drawing over his pants. he tenses as I speak. "but you like that I'm your little problem."

"Y/N..." he trails off, but his hips are bucking up into mine.

"see?" I look between our bodies at his movements, then at him. I smirk as I look into those lust-darkened eyes. after a moment of him not speaking, I straighten. "look, I'll leave you alone if it really bothers you--"

as I start to get off his lap, he grabs me and pulls me back down. the force hits my center at just the right angle and I let out a slight mewl. he hears the sound and before I can register the pleasure, he grabs my face and yanks me closer to kiss him.

god, he feels so good. I rock my hips against his while our lips pass over each other hungrily. so much tension built up over the past few months, so many thoughts I've had of him, now coming to fruition. it's amazing.

"not so 'wrong' now, is it?" I chuckle against his mouth.

"shut up." he orders. one moment of broken contact to slide my top over my head and throw it on the floor.

I sigh as he starts to kiss across my jaw and down my throat. "I like when you talk like that, Dr. Reid."

one hand grips my hips tighter and he releases a groan against my skin.

"is that why you're such a fucking brat in my class?" he bites my collarbone and I moan. "because you want me to put you in your place?"

"mhmm." I hum. his fingertips move under my skirt, sliding up my thighs and toying with the waistband of my panties. he teases me by grazing my slit over the fabric, inhaling sharply at the wet patch.

"sitting in the back of my room, fucking dripping..." he mumbles to himself as he starts to rub me.

"touch me." I breathe out, trying to gain the friction that I need.

"not if you're gonna be a brat." he removes his hand and I let out a frustrated noise as I try to find the pressure I need elsewhere by grinding down on him. he grunts at the way I pant into his mouth, trying to kiss him with every chance I get. his lips are so smooth and sweet against mine. there's something affectionate about it even in its ferocity.

"I'll be good." I practically beg.

"that's what I thought." he slides his tongue over his bottom lip as he watches me whimper on top of him.

"come on, Spencer..." I use the name for the first time and he grabs my face in his hand, squeezing my cheeks.

"not my name, sweetheart." he stares into my eyes expectantly and I smirk.

"you're fucked up, doctor."

"so are you."

after he says that, he lifts me off his lap and stands up, pushing between my shoulder blades until my face is pressed onto the desk. I let out a needy whine, wiggle my ass back in hopes of finding his crotch, but he's not willing to give me that, yet.

instead, he gently touches my skirt, flipping it up so that he can see my ass. immediately, he starts to knead it. my palms are pressed flat against the desk with anticipation, silently thankful that my panties are still on. I think I'd be dripping down my thighs if they weren't.

"are you gonna be more respectful?" his voice is low, one hand tracing over my back. I shake.

"mhmm."

"I won't spank you if you don't use your words, sweetheart."

"yes." I choke out, no longer wanting to give any sort of resistance. I had no idea there was this side of him, and I love it.

he loves it too, apparently, because his hand comes down sharply on my ass. I yelp at the contact and he runs his fingers over the point of impact, rubbing the flesh gently.

"too hard, baby?" he checks.

"harder." I beg. I can't see his face, but I can sense his smile as if it's my own. his palm hits me again, and I gasp.

"you like being punished?"

"yes." strangled and desperate.

he slips his finger beneath the fabric of my panties, collecting my essence and letting out a quiet moan when he feels me. I push my hips against his fingers, partly expecting him to remove all the pressure, but he doesn't bother waiting.

he slips his index inside and I gasp. starts to push in and out, his silence proving his arousal. I can practically feel his eyes on me. the pace increases a bit and he slides in his middle finger. I buck against the desk.

"oh fuck!" I cry out as he starts to go faster. he curls them against my walls and I arch my back.

"two fingers and you're already breaking?" Spencer chuckles as he moves inside me. he keeps one hand on my ass while he does it, starting to finger me at a ridiculous speed while I pant and moan and cry.

"I--" I gulp down air. "I need you in it."

he bends down by my ear, never breaking his rhythm. my legs are shaking from the force. "you need my cock?"

"yes," I feel myself closing in around him. "god, yes."

"you're lucky I wanna fuck you so bad." he mutters. I grin as I hear the clink of his belt coming undone, the sliding through the belt loops, the sound of him stripping down to nothing. I can feel my excitement on the inside of my thighs, spread around by his reckless fingers as he removes my panties and skirt.

he grinds himself against my pussy, coating himself in me, while he releases low, longing moans. I suck in a breath when the head pushes in, every inch pushing me open a little more. I don't have the ability to form words, so I bite my lip and grip onto the edge of the desk until my knuckles turn white.

his breath stops for a moment before he groans.

"so ready for me."

he's not even all the way in, and he has to pause to let me adjust. when he taps the inside of my thigh for me to part them more, I do it quickly and beg him to fill me up. I can barely take the pressure between my hips, but it burns in an inviting way.

"keep going." I direct him. he runs his hands over the curve of my waist and starts to thrust into me at a rate that leaves me panting. it's not too fast or slow, just impatient and needy. every sound that spills from his lips turns me on more.

"where'd the attitude go, huh?" he digs his hips into mine. his cock hits my cervix and I squeak against the wood, but he holds my back down. I don't even try to argue with him, too overcome with the pleasure that's coursing through my limbs. he starts to build up his speed. "don't have much to say when you're getting fucked?"

"Dr. Reid--" I moan.

he plows into me so hard, the desk shifts on the floor and he grabs my ass with both hands.

"take it, baby. fucking take it."

I get up on my elbows to look behind me, just to glimpse how he looks as he gets closer. his curls have fallen more in his face, and his shirt is gone. I want to touch him desperately, to feel the lovely skin of his torso and arms and everything else, but he keeps me down for the most part. all I get is the sight of his mouth open and his hips moving quickly against mine.

"look at me, there you go." he grabs my face and holds me there, our eyes locked. mine are welling at the sheer overwhelming pleasure inside, but his are dark and intense. they search mine for something I can only hope to offer.

"that feels so good, Dr. Reid." I pant. he bites his lip as he watches my mouth hanging open in lecherous shock.

"I bet it does," he explores my body. "coming in here, hoping I fuck you like you deserve. you're lucky I'm going easy on you."

"thank you." I whine.

"you might need some extra lessons, yeah?" he grunts out, moving into me with a bruising force.

"yes, please." I whisper. my voice is practically gone at this point, my mind entirely focused on the knot building in my stomach.

"what was that, baby?" he pulls my hair gently.

"yes— fuck— yes, please, Dr. Reid."

"what a beautiful girl." he smirks. I whimper when he runs his fingernails down my ribcage. I can feel it coming from the way he starts to move tumultuously, every thrust pushing harder and seeking more release. it's fervent, how he takes me and grips my hips like the force itself will push him over the edge.

"I'm so close..." I breathe out as I try for as much friction as I can.

"show me," he drops down so his stomach is flush to my back. "show me how you cum, Y/N."

the way he says my name-- husky and warm and full of lust-- causes me to snap. I cry out as he reaches around to clamp a hand around my mouth, climaxing and pulsing around his dick as I drop down against the surface again. I want him to finish inside, so I do my best to keep him here. and his thrusts are getting more staccato as he chases the sensation my walls create.

"can I fill you, angel?" he asks. he's breathing right by my ear, and the feeling is sending shivers down my spine. I love how his weight feels.

"yes." I moan and he slides his fingers into my mouth. I suck on them while he orgasms, jerking into my pussy and letting out unholy sounds of ecstasy. he says unintelligible things in the throes of his orgasm. pounds into me until I'm sure I won't be able to walk tomorrow.

"jesus christ, Y/N." he slows to a stop. when he pulls his cock out of me, the absence makes me whine. I miss his body already.

"oh my god." I clench my hands into fists as I try to catch my breath. I'm still bent over the desk as though I've been completely sapped of all my energy. I suppose I have. he doesn't touch me for a moment in the spirit of letting me recover from the small shudders still running over my skin.

"that was great." he says after we've both had time to fill our lungs. I push myself onto my elbows again.

"correct." I grin and straighten up more until I'm standing. he stares at me, at the cum now dripping down my legs, entranced.

"let me get you something to clean up." he snaps out of it a little. I can't stop looking at him, either, in love with the way he moves and the way he breathes after exerting himself on my body.

"come here." I bite my lip. for some reason, despite what we just did, this is scarier than everything else. he steps closer and I reach up, kiss him softly. part of me worries that he'll pull away and be terrified. maybe that he'll tell me that I've read too much into this.

he's much gentler than before. our first kiss was full of need and primal desire, but this is more affectionate. I remove myself from his embrace.

"okay, you can go now." I giggle. his fingertips linger on my waist and he smiles. I push his shoulder. "I literally have your cum all over me-- go."

"fine." he starts to put his clothes on.

"does this mean I get an A?" I joke. Spencer shakes his head.

"nice try. when we're done cleaning you up, we're gonna sit down and figure this out."

I let out a whine, and he kisses my cheek before looking me in the eyes. "it'll be fun. I promise."

"math is not fun."

"I can't believe I like a girl who doesn't enjoy such a beautiful subject." he rolls his eyes and I giggle. he's perfect.