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builtbybrokenbells · 7 months

Text

Gold Dust Woman | x

Fear of vulnerability becomes obsolete as y/n manages to conquer it once more.

Read part nine here

Listen while reading: Black Magic Woman - Santana or Fleetwood Mac version

Pairing: jake kiszka x f!reader, sam kiszka x f!reader

Word Count: 12.8k

Warnings: SMUT 18+, unprotected sex, oral (f!receiving), fingering (f!receiving), praise, dirty talk, shower sex, biting (slightly), touch of body worship, swearing, drinking, angst, long emotional talks, feelings of insecurity/inferiority, sorry if I miss any!

hello everyone!! posting this as a birthday gift to myself bc i finally managed to finish it!! thanks for participating in the poll and for all the lovely messages I’ve been receiving. I really hope you like this chapter and please feel free to share your thoughts in my inbox 🫶🏻 as always, be kind, enjoy, and don’t mind any grammar mistakes!! (this is also v lightly edited, my apologies 😁)

Moonlight poured in through the large panel windows casting a luminous white glow over the entirety of the room. All other forms of light were off, leaving you relying only on the night to bless you with vision. Your Gold Top was sat in your lap, odd notes ringing through the air when you felt enough energy to pluck the strings. Your pedalboard was sat by your foot, allowing you easy access to it while you sat lazily facing the door in the only armchair the room offered. Your journal was sat atop the table next to you, open to a page of scribbles and various words, none making a bit of sense. Beside it, a crystal clear glass shimmered under the glow of the moon, housing your pick of poison for the night. The ice inside was causing drips of condensation to fall down on the wood below it, tempting you further the longer you looked at it.

You had one leg draped over the side of the chair as you sat on an angle, cradling your guitar in the other. All sense of creativity seemed to have gone, leaving you feeling like you were failing at your only talent. You kicked off the distortion pedal, sick of the same grungy tone you used so often. You strummed a few chords on the clean setting, cocking your head to the side as the sound filled your ears. “There it is,” you whispered, content with the sound and finally finding the motivation to play something worthwhile. You slid your fingers up the fretboard, landing midway between the body and the head. You closed your eyes, using only your memory to guide you. You plucked away at the intro, lowering your foot on the wah pedal just to add a touch of mystique to the sound.

“Got a black magic woman,

Got a black magic woman,

I’ve got a black magic woman

Got me so blind, I can’t see.” You echoed the tune like an anthem, finally feeling the defeat in your heart flowing away.

“That she’s a black magic woman,

She’s tryin’ to make the devil out of me.” You muted the strings, seeming like the song was put to a stop, only to jump in again with the next line.

“Don’t turn your back on me baby,

Don’t turn your back on me baby,

Yes, don’t turn your back on me, baby

Stop messing round with your tricks,

Don’t turn your back on me baby,

You might just pick up my magic sticks.” You let out a sigh of content, kicking on some light distortion and leading yourself into the solo with ease. You let your head fall back on the chair, eyes screwed shut in concentration as your fingers danced over the strings. As you finished, you let out a breath you had been holding for quite some time, feeling your head spin slightly. Of course, the alcohol was more to blame, but you were never willing to admit to your own intoxication.

You continued singing, the low pitched melody settling in your chest the way music should; filling any emptiness and replacing any discontent. You sang yourself through to the end of the song, taking in a breath so you could sing the last line.

“I need you so bad, magic woman, I can’t leave you alone.” The voice startled you, as did the flash of fluorescent hallway lights that flooded your room. You looked to the door, a laugh on your lips as you noticed the intruder.

“Sing it again, baby.” You said, leading him back into the last line for a moment of sweetness. He took a few steps towards you, a smile growing as he approached.

“I need you so bad, magic woman, I just can’t leave you alone.” He sang, slow and gentle, but impactful and with clear intent. You plucked the last few notes, letting the final one ring until it faded on its own. “Santana?” He asked.

“Y/n, actually.” You corrected, knowing that no interaction with Sam would be complete without at least a little bit of teasing. “And if you’re referring to the song, it’s Peter Green. Shouldn’t you know that, rockstar?”

“Sorry, slipped my mind.” He chuckled, looking around your room with curiosity.

“I’ll forgive and forget, just because you put on such a good show.” You said, leaning forward and switching off the power to your amp. “Minus a point for showing up without an invitation.”

“Your door was open. Thought that was enough of an invitation.” He raised an eyebrow, challenging you. You gave a shrug, placing your guitar back in its case.

“Got me there.” You conceded, both of you knowing that you were only joking with him anyway. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”

“Just thought I’d visit. Haven’t seen much of you lately. I miss you.” His transparency was haunting, mostly due to the reasoning behind your sudden absence. Your withdrawal had everything to do with his brother and the profound connection you had felt with him the night you had made your confession of love. Since then, you found it difficult to look Sam in the eye. Despite it feeling so right at the time, you held guilt for having to choose which brother to proclaim love to first. More than that, you felt guilt because it was not Sam who came out on top.

Although guilty, you did not hold any remorse or regret for what unfolded that night in your hotel room. You loved Jake, and you were incredibly relieved to have finally spoken it aloud. You had no desire to withdraw the confession, because it was the truth. But as you had learned, especially when it came to loving the brothers, the truth hurt and sometimes it hurt excruciatingly bad. You knew that you could love Jake and feel bad for shunning Sam all the same, and despite many beliefs, you absolutely can love two people at once. Not only were you struggling with the idea of opening your soul to Jake, you were also struggling with sadness at the thought of pushing Sam away when you so desperately wanted to do the same with him.

So, in short, you had found yourself in yet another cycle of self-punishment for the things that you could not control. You could not control the love you had for Jake, and you could not control the love you had for his brother. Instead of finding the courage to confess to Sam, too, you had locked yourself away in hopes that you would never have to face the harrowing truth of your own complicated emotions. “I miss you too, Sammy.” You replied, turning your head to watch as he took a seat on the edge of your bed.

“Are you going to tell me what’s going on?” He asked, his question loaded and his tone soft. How could you begin to explain without inviting him to ask all of the questions you did not want to answer? You reached for the whiskey glass calling to you, taking a sip of liquid courage before trying to conjure a response.

“So much to say, so little time.” You muttered, clasping the cold glass between both of your hands. The shock of the chill seemed to regulate your brain as it swirled with aimless thoughts and worries.

“I have all night.” He assured you. “Should I close the door?”

“You don’t want the world to know about our dirty laundry?” You smirked, sipping back more of the beverage in your hand. “I’m sure they’d get some good entertainment from it.” He let out a low chuckle as he stood to close the door of the room, locking out any intruders and locking in any confessions. There was nothing inside now but the sound of your sorrow, and the weight of the unspoken love that you couldn’t seem to fess up to. He returned to the bed, the moonlight cascading upon him like a cloak of protection. Unfortunately, not even the comfort of the moon could lessen the pain in your hearts. He could feel the weight of your troubled soul before he ever stepped foot inside the room, and the only thing he could hope was that it did not come from your desire to leave him.

“I saw you and Jake leave the bar that night.” He stated, his words echoing off the walls and striking you with every rebound. You chose to keep your chair pointed away from him in hopes that you could keep your composure. Everything always seemed infinitely harder when you were looking into his eyes.

“I don’t want to talk about your brother.” You said, tone flat and setting a firm boundary. “I want to talk about you.”

“The floor is yours, princess.” He said, inviting anything and everything more than what you were giving him, even if it turned volatile. You ran your fingers over the fabric of your jeans, racking your brain for the best way to begin the conversation.

“We’ve been doing this for a while now, Sam. I think it’s time that we start thinking about the future.” You explained, stomach sick at the thought of tomorrow. “I feel like I’ve been blindly trusting that time will make things easier, but it’s only made it harder. I’m starting to believe that this won’t end until it kills us.”

“Do you want to end this?” He asked, but aimed to keep his inquiry vague in hopes that he would not be met with a devastating response.

“It has to eventually, right?” You scoffed. “I mean, we can’t keep going through life when all we’re doing is hurting each other.”

“I don’t think we’ve only been hurting each other,” his rebuttal was soft. “It certainly hasn’t been easy, but I’m incredibly grateful for the time I get to spend with you.” His words warmed your heart, sending a rush of joy through you despite feeling like you did not deserve it.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Anything.” He assured you, wishing that you would turn around so he could see your face.

“I…” you had no idea what to ask first, previously believing that your instincts would guide you through the difficult conversation, but your instincts had never been kind to you before. After all, they were the exact reason you were in the situation you had been struggling with so much. “I need to know the truth. It’s time I asked you everything we’ve been running away from.”

“Whatever you want to know, baby.”

“All those months ago… did you ever notice me?”

“Notice you?” He wanted clarification, unsure of what exactly you were referring to.

“Yeah,” you cleared your throat, trying to rid yourself from the crackle of fear in your voice. You needed to know, but you were unsure if you wanted to. “Before… before Jake. I want to know if you noticed me, or if you saw how much I noticed you.”

“Of course I did, y/n.” He defended, trying to comprehend the thought of you not knowing how much he cared.

“I just… fuck!” You exclaimed in no more than a whisper. You ran your hand through your hair, pulling at the strands in hopes that the proper words would come to you. You knew the longer you deliberated your questions, the more confusing they would become. “Then why did you never say anything! Why did you let me sit there and hope that you wanted me, too?”

“I… I don’t know.” He muttered, ashamed that he couldn’t give you a better answer.

“It’s time to know, Sam! Because I need to know, and if you can’t give me any reason to believe you’re not lying, I don’t know if I can do this anymore. I sat there every night praying that you would come and talk to me, or that maybe you would just look in my direction and notice how much I cared about you. You can’t tell me that you didn’t know I loved you, because it’s been painfully obvious since the minute I met you.” You stopped yourself to take another sip from your drink, hoping that the burn would distract you from your breaking heart, but it was just another shot to fill the void that only ever seemed to grow larger. “It only ever seemed like you wanted me when you were scared of someone else having me.”

“That’s not true,” he shook his head, horrified that you would ever think that. “I know I was stupid, and I wish I could make up for the mistakes I made, but I know that they’re always going to hurt you no matter what I do. I can’t take it away, even if I wanted to!”

“Jesus Christ, Sam. The door is closed, the lights are off, you can stop acting! I’m sick of the ‘I dont knows’ and the ‘I’m sorrys’. Why did I only ever exist to you when Jake came into the picture? I didn’t exist when other girls were hanging off your arm, or when there was someone better to talk to, so if your interest in me is more than just a pissing contest with your brother, I need to know!” You exploded, your chest feeling like it was going to explode. You wanted to turn around, to face him while you spat your accusations to at least see if he appeared guilty, but you couldn’t bring yourself to move. You knew the minute you saw him, nothing would matter anymore. It was the way your relationship worked; all other issues seemed obsolete when in his company. The beauty of him seemed to outshine any pain, and the comfort that surrounded him was always greater than any turmoil you could imagine. If you were going to get a confession, you would only have the power to do it as long as he wasn’t looking into your eyes.

“More than a pissing contest?” He reiterated your comment, baffled at the lack of understanding you had for him. “Is that what you think this is?”

“What else am I supposed to think, Sam?”

“You’re supposed to know how much you mean to me. You’re supposed to know that after three months of dates and playing house, you mean more to me than bragging rights!” His tone was strong, clearly bothered by your unwillingness to see him as he was. “I’m not falling in love with you for some ulterior motive. I’m not hurting over this because I think it’s fun to play with everyones feelings.” He said, the strain of emotion heavy on his shoulders. “I noticed you, y/n. You just didn’t care to see it, because you’re so fucking afraid of being in love that it changed the way you view the world.”

“That’s not fair,” you snapped, matching his temper with ease. Your fear of love was not an insult to be thrown, and you wanted to make that perfectly clear.

“It is fair, because it’s true. You asked, and I’m answering, so sit there and be quiet.” You wanted to fight back, but you were too stunned at the tone of voice he was speaking in. Sam had never been anything other than gentle with you, and it was shocking to hear anything close to anger in his words. “I noticed. I see you, y/n, even when you won’t let yourself believe that I do. I thought that I showed you over the last few months, but I’m okay with telling you, too. You don’t have to answer, or tell me if I’m right, because I already know that I am.” You furrowed your eyebrows, unsure of what he was getting at. You only had to be confused for a moment before he began again. “Right now, you have a ring on your middle finger. It only has one stone, and it’s a moonstone. It’s a little cloudy, and sometimes when the light hits it, it looks blue. I thought it was an opal, but when I asked, you told me it was a moonstone. I don’t really know what those are, and I had never heard of them before you told me, but I love them, because now they remind me of you. You wear that ring every day, y/n. I’ve never seen you without it.” You looked down at your hand, eyes drifting over your middle finger. You stomach churned with regret as the stone glistened in the pale light from the moon. He was right, and in your time of knowing him, you had never taken it off.

“You have a speckle of brown in your left eye. It’s right under your pupil, and you can only notice it when you look closely, because from far away it just blends in. When you smile, there’s two little dimples in the corners of your mouth. When you’re nervous, you play with your hair. You can’t play beer pong unless your partner is on your right, because you have this little superstition and you think it’s bad luck to play any other way. You’re always the last one to go to bed when we’re hanging out, and you claim it’s because you’re a night owl, but I know that it’s because you can’t sleep unless you make sure everybody else is taken care of. You hate beer. You’ve always been open about that, but it’s so bad that you won’t let us hug you if we’ve been drinking it because you can’t even stand the smell.”

He was right; every little thing he had listed was undeniably true, and the knowledge he collected extended far beyond the few weeks of intimacy you had shared.

“You love the moon, your biggest idol is Stevie Nicks, and you blush when you’re lying. You love to love people, but don’t know how to accept when people love you. You invite everyone to your house because you hate when it’s quiet, and cheap tequila makes you sick. You love the colour green so much that you thought about painting your entire house the same colour, and you think pizza is overrated.” He finished, feeling like he had made his point abundantly clear. “I know you, y/n, and I always have. You can be mad at the stupid decisions I’ve made, but you don’t get to say that I don’t notice you. I notice you so much that it’s hard to see anything else.”

“Why did you wait so long? If you cared so much, what were you so scared of?”

“Everything!” He exclaimed. “I was terrified, and I didn’t know how to get over that. I still don’t, but I’m trying.”

“Did Jake light that fire in you?”

“You lit that fire!” He stood, too passionate about the topic to remain staring at the back of your head. He placed his hand on the arm of your chair and spun it around so you could face him. “You said you didn’t want to talk about my brother, so why are you making it about him?”

“Because you made it seem like it was about him!” You snapped, looking up at him with fire in your eyes. “So you payed attention, but I didn’t catch your eye enough for you to make a move? You let someone else shoot their shot before you thought I was worth the energy! I was in love with you for years, and nobody else ever compared to you. If you asked, I would have given you the world. I would have killed myself just to keep you alive! You let girls flirt with you in my house while I sat there and waited for you like a fucking idiot!”

“What girls, y/n?” He was shouting now, both of you caught up in the moment and unwilling to back down. “What girls are you talking about, because I don’t seem to recall it the way you do!” You recoiled at the strength of his words. “The girls that I had conversations with, but barely ever remembered their names? Maybe had an arm around every now and then? I’m sorry if you perceived it differently, but I was not flirting with them, and not once did I ever take anyone home! If you wanted to, you would have realized that I was giving you the exact same treatment, and my brothers, too! I wasn’t flirting, and I wasn’t with a single girl after I met you. That is the truth, even if you don’t want to believe it!” Your stomach sank, the malice fleeing your body and guilt rolling in to replace it.

Your love for him had skewed your perception of the situation, and now that he was laying it all on the table, he was correct. Looking back on the past without the pessimism and confusion clouding your judgement, he had never once touched nor talked to another girl in the way he did with you in the recent weeks. Back then, when he had a moment of seclusion with you, he acted the very same way as he did with the girls at your parties. You never saw Sam leave with a girl in tow, and you had never found a girl scrambling from your spare bedroom early in the morning before anyone else was awake. He was breaking down your previous notions about your relationship and reconstructing them with pillars of truth. You were the master at overthinking, and the queen of oblivion. The memories seemed to flood back into your brain with more clarity than ever before.

“What are you doing sitting all by yourself?” The sweet tone broke you from any internal brooding, immediately reigning importance over any other thought of the night. You looked up from your drink, the boom of music from the speakers beside you not even loud enough to overtake the beautiful sound of his voice. Your eyes landed on Sam, who was smiling down at you with tipsiness engraved in his features.

“Waiting for you to come and talk to me,” you joked, but the truth underneath the surface was painfully obvious.

“Why wait? You could’ve came and found me.” He grinned, eyes glistening with joy at the thought of you wanting to talk to him.

“I like to be chased, not do the chasing.” You giggled, hoping he would pick up on your humour.

“If that’s the case, I’d be happy to chase you.” He took a seat beside you on the couch, not caring about intruding nor asking permission.

“You don’t have anything better to do?” You said, nervous at the closeness of his body. His leg was practically resting on yours, and you had to bargain with the idea that he chose to sit so close despite the entirely vacant couch.

“When it comes to you? Never.”

You thought you were going to be sick, the rush of blood from your head making you feel woozy and the thud of your heart against your ribs growing more aggressive by the second.

“Hey, you better not be playing beer pong without me!” A voice called from behind you as you walked by with two ping pong balls in hand. Your head snapped towards the source of the sound, gaze immediately landing upon the youngest Kiszka brother. He was standing next to a blonde who seemed enthralled in his every move, but he wasn’t looking at anything but you. “Thought we were partners for life?”

“Better hurry if you want to join.” You sing-songed as you continued walking towards the fold out table, knowing that he likely wouldn’t want to leave his conversation to accompany you. You didn’t make it a point to stare, but had you waited a second longer before turning away, you would have noticed Sam ditch his company without as much as a second glance.

You let your head fall back on the chair, feeling the scratch of tears in your throat and your heart begin to ache.

Slumped over in the kitchen chair, you let your head rest on the table in hopes that the cool wood would satiate the ache in your skull. You couldn’t even seem to find the energy to get up for a glass of water and an Advil. Even if you did, the painkillers wouldn’t take away the hurt in your heart. You had drank your way through the last of your liquor the previous night until it guided you to sleep. By the end of the bottle, you still hadn’t seemed to forget the sight of Sam laughing with the pretty brunette your coworker had brought to the party with her. All other memories? Well, they were obsolete. In comparison, even if you were able to remember the rest of the night, no memory would be nearly as daunting as the one of Sam smiling down at another girl.

“Good morning, sunshine.” The words accompanied footsteps, and had you not recognized the voice so well, you wouldn’t have bothered to look up.

“Morning, Sammy.” You squinted as your eyes tried to adjust to the brightness.

“Headache?” He asked, moving towards the cupboard on top of the fridge. He didn’t need to ask to know; you always had a headache when you were hungover, and you had nursed a bottle of cheap tequila until the bitter end. In truth, he was expecting to find you in a much worse state.

“Mhm,” you mustered the noise in lieu of a verbal response, hoping that it would be easier on your migraine. Sam closed the cabinet after retrieving what he intended to grab. He moved to the sink, filling a glass with water and setting it beside you. He took a seat in a chair, accompanying you in hopes that it might make you feel better. When you looked towards the two pills he sat on the table, you gave him a small smile of thanks. You took them, feeling better at the idea of relief alone.

“Where’s your company?” You asked, hoping to seem nonchalant with the comment. He furrowed his eyebrows, unsure of who you referring to.

“Right here?” He replied, motioning to you.

“No,” you chuckled. “The girl from last night. You two seemed to hit it off, thought maybe it would go somewhere.” He appeared to be racking his brain to recall the girl in question. After a moment, his eyes lit up with clarity.

“Oh, no. I don’t even think I caught her name. After I helped you out, I just went to bed.”

“Helped me out?” You questioned.

“You don’t remember?” You shook your head, anxiety creeping into your chest as you waited for him to elaborate. “You were pretty drunk, and you seemed upset, so I thought I’d check in on you. You were sick for a while, so I stayed with you until you felt good enough to go to sleep. Brought you upstairs to help you to bed, and we ended up talking for a while.”

“Oh god, I’m so sorry.” You groaned “did I say anything stupid?”

“No,” he smiled, recalling the memory “it was nice, actually. I mean, you were upset and cried for a little while, but you wouldn’t tell me why. Once you calmed down, we laughed about it and you asked if I would stay until you fell asleep. Think we listened to the same record for an hour before you started to doze off.”

“Was it a good one at least?”

“It was a great one,” he nodded, but he only enjoyed it so much because you loved it, and if he had to admit, It was his new favourite album, mostly because you had fallen asleep in his arms to it. He decided to keep that memory to himself, locked away in the back of his mind for safe keeping. He didn’t want you to feel embarrassed about it, and he was too scared to admit that he enjoyed it.

“Thanks,” you felt your cheeks tinge red.

“My pleasure.” He assured you.

“I’m sorry if I ruined your chances with her. She seemed nice.” You felt the need to apologize despite your elation at the knowledge he had spent the remainder of his night with you. You wished you could remember what it felt like to be in seclusion with him, desperate to know what intimacy felt like at the hands of Sam Kiszka.

“Oh, no, no need to apologize. I’m always happy to help you out, y/n. Besides, I’m not looking for anything like that, anyway.” He said, reaching out to place a gentle hand on your arm to reassure you he meant what he said. Your stomach burned with desire for him, but your head was screaming at you to remember the picture of him laughing with the nameless girl. Instead of realizing that you were both feeling the same way about each other, you allowed yourself to hurt over the thought of him showing interest in another girl, when in reality his interest was only in you.

“Oh my god, Sam.” You put your head in your hands, desperate to rid yourself of the remorse that was eating you alive. The memories were endless, pouring in with no intent to slow. You had been foolish, equating your lack of intimacy with him to a lack of interest. He did care, and he cared more than you ever realized. You were so afraid of falling that you failed to understand that he had fallen just as hard, terrified of the same fate. “I’m so sorry.” You muttered, trying to control the wavering of your voice. Tears were stinging your eyes, the reality harrowing and the darkness of the night matching the feeling in your heart. He loved you the same as you loved him, but you were both too foolish to find enough courage to open your souls to each other.

“Do you get it now?” He attempted to mask his own hurt, but it was crystal clear. The weight of it was settled on both of you, making it impossible to think of anything else. “I cared, y/n, but you never wanted to see it. You didn’t know how to let me care about you, so you convinced yourself that I didn’t. We were both scared, and we both made mistakes. Don’t paint me as the devil when you were doing just the same.” He took a seat again, defeated from his own confession. “I haven’t been pointing fingers at you for falling for Jake, and I feel like that is just as criminal as anything I’ve done.”

“Why didn’t you say something?”

“Because I’m terrified! I always have been, and you never said anything either, so I had myself convinced that I was imagining something that wasn’t really there!” He said, looking up to meet your eyes. His sin was heavy in his gaze, as was yours. “I hurt the only person I’ve ever fallen in love with, and the world hasn’t forgiven me since. I haven’t even forgiven me.”

“Talk to me, Sammy.” You held his stare, eyes burning into his soul. “Tell me, so I can understand.” He debated the choice, knowing that if he opened up to you, you would see every part of him, good and bad. If he didn’t, he would lose you indefinitely, and there would only be him to blame for letting you walk out the door. After a moment of silence, he took a breath before divulging into the story he’d tried so hard to bury forever.

“It’s strange, you know. It feels like we’ve been cursed for life, and I’m not sure what we ever did to deserve it.” He started, the first blow striking the wall in hopes of breaking it down. “No matter how hard we avoid it, Jake and I always seem to find ourselves in the same situation. Every single girl I’ve ever fallen for has fallen for him, too, and vice versa. It’s horrible knowing that no matter what, we only ever get to enjoy love for a moment. When we were younger, I think we were stupid and cocky. We saw it as a game, which is horrible.” You nodded along, hoping to encourage him to keep talking. “When we went on tour for the first time, it was so surreal. I mean, we were still kids, y/n, barely grown and travelling the world.” He laughed at the memory, finding it mind blowing to recall.

“We snuck into a bar one night. Well, Danny and I did. Jake and Josh were barely old enough to get in, and we managed to scrape by. Turns out, the bar wasn’t very hard to get into, because it looked like it was crawling with high school students.” He found another chuckle amidst the pain of honesty. “I met a girl about a year or two older than me. She was fantastic, and we ended up talking all night. So much that when they were closing up the place, they had to kick us out. We texted back and fourth, got to know each other, and then seemed to be on the phone constantly. Eventually, we got fed up and she flew out to travel with us for a little while. Things were really good, and she took breaks from travelling with us to go home for a while. When a situation is good, it gets comfortable, and when you’re that young and your life is all over the place like mine was, comfortable is the same as boring in your mind.”

“I got drunk and hooked up with another girl while she was travelling with me. It was my fault, and I’ll never try and say otherwise. I hurt her, and I still feel guilty about it. She was the first person I fell in love with, even if I was young and didn’t really know what love meant. After we fought, she ended up in Jake’s bed. It killed me, even if I did deserve it. Jake and I fought like never before, and I don’t think we ever really recovered from it. Since then, I guess we always let the pattern repeat instead of putting an end to it. I think we both feel like there’s no point in trying to avoid it, because it’s inevitable anyway.”

“I’m sorry, Sam.” Even though you knew the story, it seemed to hit so much harder when you could see the emotion in his face.

“I don’t want sympathy, y/n. I deserved what I got, and I know that. Pain doesn’t make someone innocent.” You nodded, understanding completely what he was saying. “When I fell for you, I fell so fast and hard that it nearly shattered my soul. I was scared because of how much I cared about you, but I was even more scared that he would steal you away. It’s not a good excuse, and it never has been, but it’s the truth. I thought if I kept how I felt hidden, I could enjoy you more, because then I wouldn’t have to watch you fall in love with Jake. I could see he felt the same way for you that I did. It may not have been obvious to everyone, but it was to me. I didn’t want to compete for you, but it looks like we ended up here, anyway.” He ran a hand through his hair, feeling disgusted at how the predicament continued to repeat itself.

“So yeah, when Jake made a move on you it certainly made me realize how much I could lose, but I didn’t pursue you solely because I didn’t want him to have you. That would be disgusting, and I might not be perfect, but I would never put you through that.”

“I wish… I wish we could have said something sooner. It would have made everything so much easier.” You whispered, aching to reach out and touch him. He looked up from the floor, eyes settling on your face as a sad smile crossed his lips.

“Maybe, but I doubt it. Jake wouldn’t have let you go without a fight, and I don’t blame him. You’re worth all of the pain, and I’d go through it a million times if it meant I could be with you, even just for a little while.” He said, holding your gaze. “I fell in love with that girl, and I fucked it up. Y/n, how I feel for you is far beyond anything I have ever felt for her. I didn’t think it was possible to love someone this much, but I do. I love you, but I am terrified of hurting you. I learned lessons that sucked, and I know I would never do that to you, but it scares me to know that I have the power to cause you any type of pain. The only thing I have ever wanted to do is love you, and no matter if it’s forever or only for a little while, I’m still beyond grateful that I got the chance.”

“You mean it?” Your words were barely loud enough to break through the silence, but he heard you. No matter where you were in the world, or how much distance between you, Sam would move heaven and earth to ensure someone was there to listen to you. Your voice was his favourite melody, the most beautiful thing he had ever heard. He was certain that he would never hear anything that compared, and he would certainly never search for it. He adored you, and he did not care solely because he wanted to stop Jake from having you. He cared because he did; there was no personal gain nor any hidden benefit. He loved you completely, and he loved you for you. The suffering, the heartache, and even the fear of losing was not enough to deter him from loving you, because it was the best thing he had ever experienced.

“I’ve never meant anything more in my entire life.” He refrained from reaching out to you, wondering if you would make the first move. He thought he had pushed you far enough with his words, and he didn’t want to scare you away. “I love you, y/n. Always have, and I always will. I will love you until you don’t want me to anymore, and I’ll keep loving you long after that, even if I have to keep it to myself.”

“I love you, Sam. I fell in love with you long before this started.” You breathed, feeling the weight of the world being lifted off your chest. It felt just as good to be honest with him as it did with Jake, but you had not laid the full truth on the table. “But I love him, too.”

“I know.” He said, unable to be upset at you for your honesty. “I just hope that in the end, you realize you love me a little bit more.” You gave him a sad smile, the sullen reply ripping your heart straight from your chest. “I know you can’t control what your heart wants, but I’ll keep my fingers crossed. If not, I’ll be happy as long as you are.” You were furious with yourself for not being able to end the suffering. Your greed was affecting everyone around you, and you couldn’t seem to find the courage to put a stop to it. You had so much history with Sam, and it seemed like the most logical option to be with him, especially considering your years of feelings for him. But logic had never been your friend, and it was a stranger when it came to the brothers. As much as you wanted to fall into Sam’s arms and be with him, you felt like you were stuck to the ground. You were not ready for that choice, and if you were to act impulsively, you couldn’t ensure you wouldn’t double back on your decision.

Worst, of all, you couldn’t stomach the thought of hurting Jake in that way. The conversation with Sam, the profession of love and all of the understanding was simple. So simple that it seemed too good to be true. The clarity you had gained from your discussion was incredible, and it seemed so much easier to confess your love to Sam. The fiery and emotional nature of your confession to Jake made your head spin when you thought about it for too long, and it was all but simple to talk about your feelings with him. But, you had come to learn that intimacy was not supposed to be easy, and by defaulting to loving Sam due to a lack of hardship was not fair to either boy. If you were to decide to love Sam based on simplicities, it would do nothing but make you a coward who could not find the gall to do hard things.

You sipped on your drink, desperate to find something to put your mind to rest. You both sat in silence, looking away from each other in hopes that the other would speak first. “Do you think that there’s another universe where we get to love each other more?” You finally broke the silence, looking up at him with a glimmer of hope in your eye.

“It’s impossible, because in every universe, I love you the same.” He gave you a sad smile. “Maybe there’s one where we can love each other easily.”

“I’d like to know what that one is like.” You felt tears threatening to spill onto your cheeks. “I bet it would be fantastic.” He gave a shrug, feeling a stab to his chest at the sight of the tears overflowing from your eyes.

“This one is too, princess. Loving you is fantastic, even if it’s not perfect.” You closed your eyes, feeling a sob fall from your lips. You wished you could go back in time and stop yourself from falling into the trap, to understand that despite your confidence, the situation was bound to be disastrous. But, at the same time, even if it was painful, loving them had been the most fun you had in your entire life. No matter which boy you picked, or even if you picked neither, you did not regret the time you spent with them. Going back and avoiding your mistakes may have saved you some hurt in the future, but it would have never taught you the lessons you needed to learn.

In your time spent with them, you learned that it was okay to open your heart enough to make room for another. You could finally realize that vulnerability was not the enemy, and intimacy was not as terrifying as you had previously thought. In fact, it was incredibly enjoyable when shared with the right person. You learned that you had the ability to love, and what it meant to love another wholly and completely. Better yet, you were shown that you could be loved, which was something you had never felt before in your entire life. You had always taken the stance of keeping people out for two reasons; the damage they could cause, and the damage they would find. By doing so, you failed to realize that people could introduce a lot more into your life than just pain, and your demons were not as threatening with two people standing guard. You did not regret the decision to love both brothers, even though you knew that the future was not as bright as the beginning. You were thankful to finally know what it felt like to be loved by another, and that they made your realize that you deserve to be loved just as much as anyone else.

“I think that I’m going to need some time to think about all of this.” You said, wiping your cheeks clean from the sadness. “Maybe take a step back, just to straighten out my head.”

“As long as I leave here tonight knowing that you know how much I care about, you can take as much time as you need. I just need to know that you understand, and I’ll wait forever for you if I have to.” He was tempted to hold you, to take the initiative and wipe the tears from your face in hopes of washing the pain away, too. It was hard to resist, but he wanted you to decide if you wanted it or not. He was not going to be the person to push you to love him, because in reality, it would do nothing but push you away.

“Can we… tomorrow?” You asked, not feeling like shutting him out immediately after such confessions. “I don’t want to be responsible, yet. I just want to enjoy this for a little while longer. I’m going to take some time, but I’ll start in the morning.”

“Are you sure?” He wanted clarification before jumping to action, needing to know that you were certain about your decision.

“We said I love you, Sam.” You managed a small laugh through the turmoil that was still ravaging your brain. “I think we’re allowed one night to enjoy it before we have to make any hard decisions.” He watched you for a moment, giving you ample opportunity to change your mind. When you showed no signs of regressing, he jumped from the bed with a new found burst of life. You barely had time to comprehend his sudden move before he was in front of you, reaching down and scooping you into his arms.

Despite the pain that was still thick in the air, you both found yourselves in a shriek of laughter. You wrapped your legs around him, cradling his face in your hands as he made sure you were secure in his grip. “Say it again.” His grin was blinding, making it hard to believe that there were tears in his eyes only moments before. “Please.”

“I love you, Sammy.” He let the words linger, revelling in the bliss before he pulled you into a kiss. It was messy, a show of desperation for each other after being deprived of it all night. It was the perfect show of the truth behind the saying ‘sometimes you don’t know what you’re missing until you’ve come across it’. You had lived your whole life without ever feeling love, romantic or otherwise, and now you were so full of it that you weren’t sure you could ever live without it. You had been so afraid of something that felt so good, even within its own repercussions. You knew you would even miss the bad that came along with it if you were ever deprived of love again.

“I love you,” he mumbled, barely taking the time to part from the kiss. “I love you,” he said again, his smile growing every time he spoke. “I love you so much, y/n.” You thought you would be able to live off the euphoria of being loved by him forever. You leaned forward for another kiss, laughing as you did so. The moment of childish glee was beautiful, especially after the weight of the conversation. It did not take long for the passion from the moment to manifest itself into something larger, neediness increasingly radiating from both of you the longer you had access to each other.

He carefully stepped backwards, lowering himself onto the mattress and gently settling you in his lap. When you were situated, you broke away for air. He took advantage of the opportunity and made a move to slip your shirt over your head. The sting of the air on your skin was a shock, but when his hands came back to you, you forgot the feeling almost instantly. As he brought his mouth back to your own, his fingers unhooked your bra. You dropped your arms from around his neck and let it fall to the floor with little care. He let his lips drift down your neck, gracing you with delicacy and adoration in the small movements. You let out a shaky breath as he worked his way downwards, pulling your nipple into his mouth to continue his physical show of love.

“God, Sam.” You breathed, the moment of physical intimacy amplifying the emotional intimacy you had divulged in. The feeling of his tongue on your skin was intoxicating, his touch similar to that of a wicked entity. The only thing that reminded you that it truly was Sam behind your pleasure was the familiarity of his hands and the weight of your adoration for him. You despised that both brothers seemed to make you into a fool for them with ease, like it was not a struggle for them to hold complete power over you with a single glance. Their power had only grown stronger over the months, and it could only be accredited to you falling victim to love. It was almost funny, how you claimed harm at their hands, but seemed to be holding the gun and prompting the pull of the trigger.

Your hips moved down on him, desperate for any type of friction to relieve the growing ache between your legs. One of his hands dropped downwards, settling on your ass and holding you to him, his own need showing through the small action. You let out a hiss of pleasure as he gently sunk his teeth into your nipple, the surprise of his action adding to the sensation. He broke away from you, looking up at you with lust heavily clouding his gaze. You were both long overdue for more, and weren’t willing to wait any longer. You shuffled to your feet, unbuttoning your jeans and pulling them off in one swift motion. He let his eyes drift over your exposed skin, his breath caught in his throat as he tried to comprehend your beauty. He was practically feral at the sight, crazed at the thought of being able to see you in such a way, but he held himself back in hopes that you could make the night last as long as possible.

“You are the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen,” he said, catching your eye as he spewed out the compliment. You felt your cheeks heat red, a smile pulling on the corner of your lips as the words struck you like lightning. A compliment from Sam was worth the world and more, and you knew you could live off them for the rest of your life.

Everything about the brothers was so phenomenal that it made it hard to believe that they were real; you could not comprehend perfection taking form in a human body, but somehow the universe had managed it twice. You wanted to love them forever, to never know what it was like to be deprived of them, but you knew it was not plausible. It was time for you to grow up, to put a stop to the immature behaviour and finally begin to think first, rather than act. You had let the devil lead the way for far too long, and it was finally time to take back the power that you had willingly given away. The only way to stop the hurt was to stop the entanglement, and even if the idea of losing one or both of them hurt so badly, the decision was long overdue.

Then again, you would not be a Gold Dust Woman if not for your tendency to destroy yourself at the hands of your own desires. In true Gold fashion, you allowed the night to continue on even with the knowledge it would do nothing but make the choice even more difficult.

He stood, slipping his own shirt over his head. You felt the same skip in your heartbeat, the sight immediately taking your breath away. He noticed your reaction, unable to stop the smile from creeping onto his face. “You’re not so bad yourself,” you replied, hoping that he couldn’t sense the nervousness in your tone. Somehow even after months, he still seemed to make you nervous when in his presence. He took a step towards you, cupping your cheek in his hand as he pulled you in for another kiss. It was like an addiction for him, almost impossible to resist. “Shower?” You mumbled against his lips, the idea enticing him almost as much as it did for you.

“Well, what are you waiting for?” He asked, barely parted from you. You let out a giggle, walking away in the direction of the bathroom. He followed closely, not willing to let you get too far away.

You flicked the light on, immediately reaching into the shower and turning on the faucet. Within a few seconds, steam had already began accumulating in the air. Instead of waiting for you to get in, Sam’s hands slipped around your waist. You smiled at the familiar feeling, wishing you could exist within his touch until the end of time. Something about his hands on you gave you the relief you’d been so deeply craving, and not in a sexual sense. The gentleness always eluded to a future without suffering, and even if the momentary touch was the only time you felt that way, it was nice to finally have some peace amidst the chaos.

He pulled you into him, limiting you from stepping into the shower. You wanted to complain, to voice your excitement for the soothing warmth of the water, but being in his arms always triumphed. He leaned down, letting his lips drift over your shoulders and any exposed part of your neck. Your eyes closed, melting into him and willing to accept whatever he had in store for you. With great care, he guided you towards the countertop until your back gently connected with it. The cold shocked you, searing your skin with the unfamiliar temperature, but you didn’t have time to think much about it. Sam had firmly grabbed your hips, lifting you up and setting you down in one swift motion. He moved forward, settling between your legs so easily, like he belonged there without question.

He brought his lips back to your own, but only for a moment. He worked his way down your neck, to your shoulders and down your chest. Slowly, he sunk to his knees before you with his head nestled comfortably between your thighs. You bit down on your lip, silencing the gasp that you so badly wanted to let out. Your heart was racing, overly excited for what was to come next. His fingers were branding his name into you forever. You knew that when the sun rose in the sky, and you took your inevitable step away, your body would still be littered with Sam. It would be so overwhelmingly obvious that distance would not even begin to diminish the strength in which you needed him. In a moment of weakness and fear of the aching loneliness that was to come, you almost jumped into his arms forever. After the moment passed, you knew you could not discard Jake so easily, especially after the raw intimacy you had shared with him.

When Sam’s mouth connected with your cunt, rationality was no longer the leading thought in your head. Although the devil continued to push you further into Sam’s arm, another one was holding you tightly, pleading with you to stop. At first glance, it seemed to want to protect you from the downfall you were headed towards by allowing Sam access to you while feeling such turmoil. Then again, it would not be the devil if it had no ill intent, and it was not holding you back in fear of soothing broken hearts. The part of you leaning away from Sam was leaning directly into Jake, serially motivated by the desire you had for him and your fear of letting him go. As much as you wanted to fall in love with Sam forever, it was just not possible at the moment. As much as you craved to be with Jake, the time was not right. Which was exactly why time is what you needed, spent away from them and their ability to captivate you. The closer you were with them, the harder it was to resist the love they gave to you. Pain was guaranteed either way, but you had to chose the option that you believed would hurt the least.

But only after one more bad decision, of course.

“Fuck,” you panted, chest burning from the lack of air in your lungs. Sam was working hard, determined to prove a point with his tongue. You weren’t certain exactly what he was trying to prove, but he was doing it well. The steam in the air was thick, melt from the shower but some purely from the energy between you both. Your hand was in his hair, gripping at the roots and holding him to you. He hummed against you, pleased with your enjoyment. It seemed the more disheveled you became, the harder he worked to make it worse. “G-god, Sam. Please don’t stop.” You whined as your head fell backwards. Your eyes were squeezed shut, the burning in your belly almost unbearable.

He used his hands on your hips to pull you closer to the edge, tongue never faltering as he did so. He dropped his arm from the hold he had on you and added his fingers to you, slowly pumping them as he moved his mouth upwards to focus on your clit. The moans you were expelling were vulgar, painting the walls with every sin you already had, and continued to commit. You were so lost in pleasure that any thoughts of right and wrong had disintegrated into nothing. Everything was Sam; you felt like you were being consumed by him, his aura so powerful that you were crumbling into nothing. Dying would be an honour if it were at his hands, and you knew that the descent would be nothing but comfortable as long as you could feel his touch until the bitter end. “Sam,” you repeated, unsure if you could hold back your orgasm any longer. He curled his fingers upwards as he pumped them into you, a small encouragement for you to let go.

With the slight change in angle and the relentless speed of his tongue, your legs began to shake. Your muscled tensed, and you felt yourself clench against his fingers. With only last warning, so weak that it barely sounded over the putter of water against the shower floor, your climax washed over you. Your chest ached from the intensity, limbs begging you to relax, but you couldn’t seem to slow the ferocity of the moment. Your head was spinning, filling with thoughts of nothing but the boy between your legs. You were so filled with love for him that you thought your heart may explode. As you came down, sweat glistening on your skin and the pleasure settling into a dull tingle across your body, you finally managed to get a full breath into your lungs. As you did, Sam slowly tapered his pace to a stop, moving away from you to catch his own breath.

You released your hold on his hair, an apologetic look crossing your face for the strength in which you were holding it. He seemed unbothered at the action, eyes still closed in bliss as he ghosted kisses over your thighs. You let your hand fall to his cheek, appreciating him as he showed you the act of kindness. “Shower?” You asked, voice still airy from the intoxication of the orgasm. He let out a hum, too enthralled in you to care about a verbal answer. You managed a small giggle at his enamouring expression, but ultimately had to put a stop to his admiration. “We’ve wasted enough water, come on.” You said, ushering him to stand. He obliged, although not voluntarily. He helped you off the counter, pulling you into him for a moment as he placed a kiss on your head.

“You first,” he promoted, moving out of your way. You slid the glass door open, stepping under the droplets and immediately feeling the relaxing warmth. He followed suit, closing the door behind him. As you sat under the stream of water, he took the opportunity to have the moment of closeness he had been craving so badly. He wrapped his arms around you, hands settling on your lower stomach as he guided you into him. With your back against his chest and his hands on you, you felt unstoppable. The warm water alongside the memory of the orgasm only solidified the feeling. Sam made you feel like you were on top of the world, like nothing could ever hurt you. His love was like a cushion of protection, keeping you away from any harm as long as he was with you.

“I wish we could stay like this forever.” You said, leaning your head back to rest on him, too.

“We can, princess.” He reminded, the small seed of evil planting in your brain effortlessly. He would do whatever it took to keep you in his arms, and if it meant persuading, he was already thinking of a million reason as to why you should stay. “If that’s what you want, we can do that.”

“I know, and I do.” You said, but you didn’t have to finish the statement. He wasn’t ready to face any type of rejection, and you were not willing to dish it out. His hope, although blind by times, was the only thing giving him the will to keep going. “I love you.” You changed topics, hoping the blow would lessen by the sweet phrase. You wished you didn’t already have to use it as an apology, but being apologetic had been the only thing you knew how to do as of recent. You were always sorry for the pain you were inflicting, even if they knew that it was coming. You wondered why it was so common to hurt the ones you love the most, and if it was uncommon, why it was so simple for the three of you to do.

“I know, and I love you, too.” He leaned down, pressing his lips to your cheek. It was beautiful, how much he cared despite knowing how bad it hurt him. You turned your head to meet his mouth, the confession still hitting as hard as it did the first time. You could feel his erection against you; he was desperate for relief even if he was enjoying the sweetness of the moment. You pushed your hips back on him, also eager for the main event after such an emotional night. His grip tightened, enticed by the small movement. The kiss grew messy, both of you at a breaking point long before you ever got into the shower.

He spun you, pushing you against the wall with a new-found energy. Your upper half was flush with the cool tile, and he pulled your hips back to grant himself access to you. He lined himself up with your entrance, fingers digging into the skin of your hips as he pushed his own forward. You both let out a sigh of relief at the feeling, knowing that there were few things in the world that felt as good as it did. “God, you feel so fucking good.” He muttered, closing his eyes to focus only on the way you felt wrapped around him. The heat of the water only amplified every sensation, the steam filling your senses and your brains with the obscene energy that it had leeched from you both. You were feral for each other, uncaring of anything other than the sexual desire between you. The encounter was no longer a solidification of the vulnerability you had shared, but now a need that far outweighed any other that had previously existed.

Sam surpassed any normal person in terms of desire, and quickly manifested himself as one of the most important things to ever exist to you. The thought of being without him was excruciating, and the only thought worse than ones of death. “Harder, please.” You groaned, hands supporting yourself on the wall as he fucked into you. He obliged to the request with little hesitation, pulling you back on him as he thrusted forward. He snaked one hand to your hair, knotting it in his fist and pulling your head away from the wall. He leaned forward, letting his lips rest on your ear as he placed a small kiss to it.

“Does that feel good, princess?” He crooned, voice low and settling straight into your soul. You let out a moan, unable to verbally express the pleasure he was giving you. His grip in your hair tightened, snapping you back to reality for a moment.

“F-feels so good, Sammy.” You muttered, feeling another groan tear through your chest. He hummed against your ear, letting his teeth sink into your earlobe to show his enjoyment of the sounds you were making for him.

“Just want to make you feel good, baby.” His tone was husky, coated with lust and showcasing his desire. He turned your head to the side, just enough so he could capture you in a kiss. He continued moving his hips, never slowing his pace. You let a moan slip into his mouth, driving him further into the cloud of euphoria that was slowly engulfing him. He slipped his hand from your hip, wrapping it around you and settling his fingers between your legs. He began tracing slow circles on your already sensitive clit, making the feeling of every movement even more powerful. You pushed your hips back on him, not ashamed to show him your need for him. A growl came from deep in his chest as he parted from you, the small movement sending him into a frenzy.

He dropped his hand from your hair and used it to hold your hips in place as he began his frenzied attempt to drive you to an orgasm. He didn’t need to try very hard; the knot in your stomach was tightening with every second that passed. “Fuck,” you whined, the fire consuming every nerve in your body.

“Come on, sweet girl.” He encouraged. “Cum for me, baby.” His words hit you hard, the impact nearly stealing the air from your lungs and making your legs grow limp. His hands were holding you steady, making sure you were secure so you didn’t have to worry about anything but your pleasure. You let out another moan, desperation evident in the sound. He continued his relentless effort, moving his fingers faster and with more precision.

“Sam,” you breathed, feeling the pressure reach a peak. Your body tensed as your breath caught in your throat. You tried repeating his name, but it was a useless endeavour. No coherent thoughts were forming, and the only thing coming from your mouth was a slur of curses and moans. Your legs were shaking, weak as they struggled to hold your weight and your heart was erratic against your rib cage.

“That’s it, beautiful.” He coaxed you through, slowly tapering his pace. When your body relaxed and you gained strength to keep yourself upright, he slowed to a stop. “How was that?”

“S-so good,” you stuttered, heaving a heavy breath. He let out a chuckle, amused by your disarray as he pulled out of you. You managed a small groan of discontent at the loss of the feeling, but he ignored you. He gently spun you around so you were facing him, leaning in for a kiss. The gentle action was greatly appreciated; your body was still recovering from the excitement of the moment. His hands planted on your hips once more, but this time he lifted you. Instinctively, you wrapped your legs around him as your hands snaked around his neck. He pressed your back against the tile, the cold surface a shock, but you were too tired to care. He pressed his lips to yours once more as he lined himself up once again. When he was certain his grip on you was secure enough, he pulled you down on him. You lacked any self control, the feeling euphoric and the sound that came out of you matched the sensation.

“How’s that, Princess?” He hummed, resting his forehead on your own for a heightened sense of intimacy. “Is that better?”

“Mhm,” you nodded against him, tangling your fingers in his hair. You wanted to be as close to him as possible, but the barrier of your bodies was prohibiting what you needed to satisfy the desire. You felt like his being was too powerful; it was consuming you and leaving behind a shell of what you once were. Sometimes, especially in moments like the one you were sharing with him then, it felt like your sole purpose was to love Sam, or to be loved by him, but truth behind the thought was almost too much to bear. There was a part of you devoted to Sam, wanting nothing but to love him for the rest of time, but there was another part that felt the same about Jake. It was horrendous knowing that you could never love one fully without loving the other.

“Give me one more, baby.” He pleaded, fingers bruising the skin as he continued to pull your hips down on him. The request was simple to fulfill, and you knew that it would not take much for him to get what he wanted.

“If you cum with me,” you placed down your own term before an agreement.

“That’s what you want?” He questioned, trying to make it seem like your words did not bother him. In truth, he was struggling to hold himself back and your statement had only driven him closer to the edge.

“God, yes. Please, baby.” You whined, knowing that the longer he was inside you, the closer you were being pushed to insanity. He let out a low sigh, sent into a downward spiral at the sound of your desperation. He hoped he could hold off for long enough to make you cum, and you were hoping to hold off for long enough to please him. You were both hoping for something that meant nothing; the pleasure that was upon you both was too good to refute, and a climax was easier to attain than anything else.

Your mind was abuzz with the love you had for him, the intensity growing with the steady movement of his thrusts. You were delirious, body exhausted from the continuous pleasure and muscles aching from the strain. The water soothed only enough to keep you going, but Sam’s hands were what made you feel best. “I love you,” he whispered. You felt your stomach burn with desire as he voiced the same thought that had been so pressing all night. You knew you could never get sick of him saying it, and you knew you could listen to him say those three words and survive solely off the feeling it provided.

“I love you, Sam.” You groaned, the climax threatening to take hold. “I love you so much.” He pulled you down harder, his cock slamming against your cervix in a pleasurable type of pain. You let out a cry, the sudden sensation immediately sending you into a third orgasm. You were lost in euphoria, barely existing within the same realm anymore. You clenched around him, singing his name as if it was a hymn and he was the god you were praying to. From the sight of your descent alone, it send him over the edge with no mercy. He held you down on him, uttering curses as he spilled his release into you. By the time you both came down, you were breathless and seeing stars. You held each other close in hopes that you could make the moment last forever, but you knew that nothing this fantastic could ever last. The harrowing reality was just around the corner, and you had to understand that this was the last night you could spend with Sam before you had to make the final decision.

He loosened his grip on you, carefully letting you down to your feet and holding you steady in fear your legs might give out. You leaned into his chest, craving comfort after the chaos. You wanted for everything to be over, for the pain to stop and for the happy to last, but you knew that the hurt was only beginning and bound to stay for a while. You listened to his heartbeat as it slowed in his chest, soothed immediately by your touch. “Here,” he said, shifting so you could be fully under the stream of warm water. You let out a hum of satisfaction, the heat soothing any ache that was lingering. He looked around, grabbing a bottle of shampoo while you enjoyed the water. He lathered some in his hands and ushered you back towards him. You rested your back on his chest once more while he brought his hands to your hair, gently rubbing the shampoo into the roots.

You could have fallen asleep in his arms with how relaxing the feeling was. He was gentle, using great caution in fear he might pull on the strands the wrong way. When he was satisfied with his work, he helped you rinse the soap from your hair. He repeated his actions with the conditioner you had sitting on a shelf and held you until you found the energy to wash the rest of your body. He washed his own hair while you scrubbed away the filth of the sins you had partaken in, but the feeling of Sam could never really be washed away. You both finished the normal shower routine and sat in each others company for a moment before turning off the faucet.

When you got out, Sam found a towel on the rack by the sink. He wrapped you in one before worrying about himself, fearful that the temperature change might disturb you. With a small smile on your lips and love in your heart, you both returned to the bedroom with intent to sleep. “I’d like to stay, if that’s okay. If not, I understand.”

“Of course you can, Sammy.” You said, dropping your towel to the floor as you climbed in bed. “I can worry about everything else in the morning, but for now, I want you here with me.” He couldn’t hide the blinding smile he adorned at the sound of your statement. He climbed into bed, pulling you into his arms in one swift motion. You let out a giggle at his enthusiasm, but you knew that you were feeling the same way just from the thought of sleeping by his side.

“I don’t care who you pick, y/n.” He started, letting his fingers trace shapes into the soft skin of your back. “I hope it’s me, but I just want you to be happy. No matter what happens, I’m thankful that I got the chance to love you, even if it’s only for a little while.”

“I’m grateful for that, too.” You agreed, feeling his words settle into your chest and begin to make your heart ache. You closed your eyes, but your mind was far from asleep. You were dreading the morning because it signified separation and moving on, two things that you were far from ready to do. Even if it was the right choice, it did not mean it hurt any less. Same eyes were closed too, thinking about the same things that were disturbing you. Neither of you spoke about them, and neither of you seemed to curb the fear of loss.

It seemed like such a shame for so much love to be shared between the three of you, especially knowing that the end would be nothing but painful. It was a shame that your first experience with love would ultimately burn you and everyone caught in the crossfire. But, it seemed as though your biggest fear of all was not to love or to hurt, but rather the fear of never wanting to love again after the storm settled. For your entire life, you were horrified of vulnerability, and intimacy was the enemy. Now that you experienced it both so beautifully and profoundly, you were most afraid of never feeling it again. You were terrified of being the Gold Dust Woman from the story, rather than the one Jake viewed you as. Beautiful but empty, cold and distant, and always searching for a thrill, yet forever too scared to take the leap. You hoped that you could remain the person Jake had viewed you has when he gave the nickname, but you knew it was not the case. There was only one way to be a Gold Dust Woman, and it was not in any way he chose to perceive you. You had become all that you swore not to be, and there was no escape from it.

Love was no longer the cause of your downfall; in fact, it never really was. It had always been yourself, even if you chose to remain blind to the harsh reality. The problem found home within you, and this time, you had no one else left to blame.

Did she shatter your illusions of love?

Come on, did you really think I’d let Sam go down without a fight? ;)

TAGLIST: @itsdannysworld @gretavansara @jaketlove @laneygvf @freefallthoughts @psychedelicsprinkles @idontwannabeherenow @joshysgirl @sanguinebats @objectsinspvce @klarxtr @sinarainbows @jakesmustache @gvfpal @hellowgoodbye

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the-travelling-witch · 1 year

Note

can i participate in the event? number 4 please <3, the character i'd like is oikawa tooru from haikyuu, I would like hurt/comfort (enemies to lovers) thank you!!

it took soooo long, i’m so sorry; but this is the last event request which came in in time; thank you to everyone who participated!! ♡

i couldn’t do enemies to lovers though bc that was a trope in and of itself+ combining it with “baking” didn’t give me any great ideas

⇢ ˗ˏˋ Flours for you ﾟ☾. ࿐

trope: baking [space nr. 24]

pairing: post-timeskip oikawa x gn! reader

genre: hurt/comfort

warnings: none

You were disappointed, to boil it down. But it wasn’t like you could openly show it, not on this day, which somehow only made it hurt worse.

It had been weeks since you and your boyfriend could spend some quality time together, most of your conversations being held over text or post-its on the fridge, asking to add butter to the grocery list or saying leftovers from yesterday were still stowed away. You knew what you were agreeing to when choosing to date Oikawa, knew his job took a lot of his time, yet, you couldn’t help but miss him anyway.

A small, hopeful voice in your head almost convinced you that today might be different, it was your birthday after all. His next match was a home game and Oikawa wouldn’t have to travel far away this time. So, no matter how selfish the thought was, you went to bed alone the night before in hopes of waking up to two strong arms wrapped around you and a warm body pressed against you.

When you opened your eyes, his side of the bed was messy but cold. While getting ready for work without much of a spring to your step, you saw his practice bag and keys gone, confirming your suspicions.

As you went about your day with no card, no post-it, no flowers and no text in sight, your shoulders couldn’t help but slump. While really grateful for friends, family and colleagues wishing you a happy birthday, you felt a deeper pang and more unease settle in your heart and gut.

One thing about Oikawa, he was attentive in any part of life, there was no way he wouldn’t at least shoot you a cheeky message, unless for the first time he actually forgot…

By the time you came home, you were ready to curl up on the couch with a movie and maybe order some take-out, still in disbelief you didn’t hear from the one person you really wanted to see today. There was that same tiny voice telling you the day wasn’t over yet but there was also your best friend on speed dial, ready to see you through the evening.

To your surprise, when you opened the front door, your heart soared as you were greeted by lights, the sound of dishes clinking and… the scent of cocoa? Popping your head into the kitchen you indeed found the source of the noise to be your boyfriend, whisking something together in a mixing bowl with a look of utmost concentration.

“Tooru?”

It was almost comical, the speed at which his head whipped around and his fluffy hair bounced with the movement. For a split-second, his features fell in shock before beaming at you brightly. Before you could move from your spot, the arms you had missed this morning were slung around you as Oikawa twirled you around.

“Mi amor! Feliz cumpleaños!” When he rested his head on your shoulder and basked in your embrace, your hands tightened the grip on the back of his shirt. A sob choked you up as bottled emotions bubbled to the top and your throat closed up. Alarmed at the tears spilling from your eyes, Oikawa pulled back and cupped your face in his hands, a worried look creasing his forehead. “What is wrong? Are you okay? Please talk to me, love.”

“I- I can’t believe I thought– I thought you didn’t remember,” you sniffled past the weight in your chest. The guilt about not trusting him ate you up inside and made you avoid his eyes. “But when you weren’t there this morning and didn’t talk to me and I hadn’t seen you in forever… I just missed you so much, Tooru.”

“I missed you too, angel. I’m so sorry I’ve been so busy with work lately.” He gently wiped your tears and placed a sweet kiss on your temple, his touch lingering just a little longer than usual. Slowly his hand ran up and down the length of your spine until he could feel your sobs calm down. “I really wanted to congratulate you in person, so that’s on me. That was really stupid of me.”

“It was,” you agreed, making him chuckle.

“But you ruined your own surprise, that wasn’t so nice either,” Oikawa said, a soft grin tugging at his lips. “Guess you’ll have to help me finish it to make it up to me.”

The raise of your brow was interrupted by your boyfriend picking you up and sitting you down on the counter. With a clear look at the mixing bowl, you finally saw where the scent of cocoa came from as Oikawa went to preheat the oven.

“Watcha making?” you chimed, making some room for him to stand between your legs as he smoothed his hands up your thighs

“What a question… A birthday cake, of course,” he said, booping your nose.

As your house filled with the smell of chocolate and the sound of laughter, the cake lost a substantial amount of batter before even seeing the oven and it became clear there’d be a lot more clean-up to do than usual but you didn’t mind. After all, spending time with your favourite idiot far surpassed everything else you could’ve wished for.

tagging: @mccnstruck @ukaishin @silentmoths

#holly’s potions #stella fortuna event #second constellation #haikyuu!!#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu hurt/comfort #oikawa x reader #oikawa hurt/comfort #haikyuu oikawa #oikawa tōru

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kawaiianimekitten · 1 year

Note

hello ! same anon who rq the fatgum agency hcs , your writing is getting better and better and i loved the hcs , tysm for doing my request ! i had another idea for another scenario / headcannons but with the big three instead , the same description for the reader , but this time being friends with the big three (you can add tamaki x reader if you want or leave it out if its too much , its up to you) , the way reader got into their group is bc nejire talked to them since they had no one else talk to them and they didn't know how to start talking to anyone in their class either (kinda similar to the way tamaki did with her in the manga and how mirio first talked to tamaki)

Nejire and you became friends before either of you ever even met Mirio and Tamaki

You're a grade below Nejire, so she went to UA a year before you, which is when she met Mirio and Tamaki and became friends with them

You and Nejire were still close friends, but because of the difference in schedules, you didn't get to hang out quite as much, but still messaged eachother all the time

During that year, you only had brief, awkward interactions with Mirio and Tamaki

Once you got into UA , though, is when you started to get closer to Mirio and Tamaki

Because you're close friends with Nejire, they welcome you with open arms

Mirio teases you and Tamaki about how alike you two are and laughs when you both get flustered

Both Mirio and Nejire shipped you and Tamaki and especially liked saying it when all of you were together so they could watch you and Tamaki stumbling over your words and dying of embarrassment

Mirio loves being loud with you once your comfortable, and even encourages your chaoticness as long as it isn't harmful

One time Mirio and Nejire saw you and Tamaki kissing and they didn't stop teasing the two of you for a month

Definitely very protective of you

Mirio sees you as a younger sibling

Unless your someone who spends a long time on their hair, be prepared for him to mess up your hair all the time

Can't get out of movie and self care nights

Mirio and Nejire make sure you and Tamaki sit by each other

If anyone hurts you, they better move countries, change their name and pray to whatever God they believe in to not be found, cuz the big three won't be happy once they find out

_________________________________________

Might not be exactly what you were thinking, but I hope you like it ❤️

Thank you for another amazing request and I hope you have a good day/evening/night

#anime #bnha #amajiki #bnha tamaki #headcannons #big three #mha mirio #mha nejire #mha #tamaki x reader

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pintobordeaux · 2 years

Note

to elaborate:

Bruce terrorizes Superman villains with just angry glares and growls.

Clark has to learn to live in a not invulnerable body.

Clark on his first night as Batman: "Ouch! You stabbed me! It hurts!!!!"

Everyone thinks Batman has gone completely insane and might turn into a new Joker.

The Pentagon is this close from activating their anti-Superman plan because the man looks one inconvenience away from a worldwide dictatorial regime.

Bruce has to learn to hold his strength back because he breaks absolutely EVERYTHING.

obligatory NSFW: they masturbate to see how the other's body works (bc of course Clark has alien genitals).

Bruce starting to have blood pressure issues from having to act meek with all the ppl shitting on him at work.

Clark not putting up AT ALL with Riddler's schemes and riddles and stops him by entirely other means.

Clark getting anxiety from having to be in the spotlight all the time and being chased by ladies.

@jellyfitzjelly OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG. Yes this 100000000000x this!!! (You sent it in two messages so I screenshoted the first for context for everyone and I’m using the second as the answer since I didn’t wanna transcribe it lol)

I am WEAK in the soul for body switching fics and headcannons. To add on more thoughts to your thoughts

The absolute body horror/dysmorphia/dissociation at being in a body but not your body but still having that vouyerustic fascination at being able to explore someone else’s body from your own consciousness.

^^^ I am 100% on my bullshit about those “I have a crush but we haven’t said anything or been close yet and it’s so wrong but this is my opportunity to get as close as possible to them in a way I’ve been dreaming about” tropes.

The uncanny valley at seeing the other’s expressions on their face! Like Batman’s signature scowl on Superman’s normally cheery face. Or Clark’s sunbeam smile on Batman.

An excuse to push them together to work through it! Maybe secret phone calls alllll day to each other. “How do you deal with the Wayne enterprise board?” “I broke another door handle. What now?” Just so many options.

Do they try to hide it? CAN they hide it? If not who figures it out first?!? If they don’t hide it now what? What do they do with their time?

I 100% believe that Bruce would make Clark practice sparring/ hand to hand combat in Bruce’s body. Just let the implications of that sink in. Are those thoughts nice and marinated yet? Because YES.

Do they have the angst and unsureness of “this might be forever?” Or the bittersweet relief of “we only have _ amount of time to experience each other like this.”

And on that note - if it’s established relationship Superbat. O.M.G. The wonderful idea that they get to use this opportunity to get to know each other in ways they never could under any other circumstance.

Like imagine Clark finds out all the little things bruce has been hiding. Maybe Bruce actively suppresses blushing every time Clark runs a finger up his arm. He had no idea. And Bruce finds out that while he knew Clark doesn’t need to eat he actively craves certain things sometimes. They use this to learn more about each other and carry that over into a stronger relationship once they’re switched back.

My obligatory NSFW addition - sleeping together. Is it an act of ego? Sure, maybe. But the body is a shell to house the person they love. That can change and they’ll still love them no matter what. I wanna see some fic that just goes for it. Let Bruce as clark sleep with Clark as Bruce. No cop out ‘this is too weird.’ Na bro it’s interesting and novel and Batman is a detective who loves puzzles, and Clark is an investigative journalist. You bet your ass they’ll sleep with their partner who physically looks like themselves.

Second NSFW addition - in Smallville the heat vision is absolutely first triggered by horny feelings. I just want Bruce to have to experience that and Clark having to bumble through and explain it to Bruce. But then Bruce’s mind immediately goes to “so you have to be turned on to use heat vision!?” And letting flashbacks of all of the times he’s seen Clark use it.

And if you wanna go the public/political/social investigation route - ooooo boy! How does each of them handle that stress? Are any aspects of each other’s life harder than they thought? More pleasurable? Surprising?

Does bruce cry big alligator tears when visiting Martha Kent and she calls him “son” and looks at him with such love? Sources say yes. (Sources are my head)

Okay okay but also if they don’t know each other’s identity when the switch happens?!!?!!! Wouldn’t that be something? Alllllll the identity reveal. And the mad dash to find each other to help hide both secrets from the world. Do they form an initial alliance? Lay it all out?

Alternatively, what if Bruce Wayne and Clark Kent body switched. Neither knows the other’s superhero identity. But the sheer panic from Clark about Bruce using super strength and immediately finding out. And Bruce panicking because Alfred doesn’t know he’s not him. What if he says something in 2 seconds upon arriving home about anything batman related and this investigative journalist will now immediately know who batman is.

I just have a lot of thoughts and feelings about this. Not enough cohesive ones to write something. But A LOT of thoughts and feelings.

#superbat #plotbunny headcannons #AskAnswered #if anyone wants to use these ideas PLEASE take them. I’ve literally read every fic tagged ‘body switching’ for Bruce/Clark. i want MOAR

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nekkodiaries · 1 year

Text

— knock me down. (teaser)

RELEASE: march 18, 2023.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: finally hard-launching the fic that i've been working for a few months now. hhhhh. i'm excited but also very insecure because a good quarter of this fic is written and i'm so ! anxious ! about my writing skills (as someone who knows they're bad at describing and bad at being literate in general. rip.) anyway. i hope you guys enjoy this fic like you did with cheating on you. if you want to be added to the taglist, just reply or send an ask.

reblogs are super appreciated! 🫶

after a tough day of contributing absolutely nothing to the greater good of society, jay decides to do what men like him choose to do to relieve stress: by playing a high-stress game.

what he wasn't expecting, though, was to get a snarky partner who would actually reciprocate his angry chats (as a result of his bad temper) and shit-talk him back. like what they're doing right now.

killstrike: wtf you should have covered me notursniper: yea well u shouldnt have been peeking. killstrike: ur ign fits u bc ur shit at sniping 😂😂 notursniper: i HAD him but ur big ass head was IN THE WAY now u got headshot boohoo 😛 killstrike: just stfu and come revive me

jay was pissed. there's no way he's losing this duo match. it's down to three teams and he can't risk losing more points for his rank when he's so close to reaching crown four, so he breathes in and out, trying his utmost best not to let the arrogant demeanor of his partner get on all of his nerves. notursniper heals him and fends off two players while he heals, leaving just one more team.

you got this. you got this. jay internally chants before a barrage of shots echo from his phone's speaker. he's too busy to look for the enemy to notice his partner's been knocked down. the motherfucker's proning. the circle's getting smaller and jay's getting anxious over the constant request for healing when all of a sudden:

better luck next time player killstrike! top 2/100.

"fuck!" jay shouts in frustration, watching the loading screen as the game demotes him from crown five to regular crown rank. "great. that's just great." in the heat of his frustration, jay adds notursniper just to be able to message them— and as soon as he sees them added to his "friends" list, jongseong taps his frustrations away.

killstrike: its your fucking fault. now im just crown

notursniper: 🤨 ?

killstrike: well??? are you gonna admit your wrongs???

notursniper: 1, is this how u treat women lmao and 2, no i wont :p notursniper: maybe if you actually healed me then we wouldve ranked up notursniper: but ur too selfish and tried to shoot before attending to ur teammate notursniper: so i'd say that rank demotion is DESERVED ❤️

killstrike: man fuck u 😐

notursniper: sry there's a line for gamer boys who wanna bang. you gotta get in line babes 😘

was it possible to choke on air? because jay's convinced he choked on air when he read that. it doesn't help that his eyes immediately darted to the icon where her cuteness was radiating despite her hand and phone covering her entire face. he blames his temper for why he's feeling hot right now— definitely not because he got a visual of what could happen if he did choose to get in line. definitely not. never. no.

killstrike: ew

notursniper: hey u can block me if u want to lmao 🤣

impulsive by nature, jay taps a few times and gets so close to removing user notursniper as their pubg friend but he hums in thought. having a higher rank meant having more skilled enemies and he's never seemed to get past top 40 players without dying, so it was a miracle he got until the top 2 tonight. his teammate's shit-talking aside, he'd say they were actually really good.

and again, real cute on her icon.

"what?" his own intrusive thoughts snaps him back to the real world, to see that she actually removed him as an in-game friend. what the fuck? in a span of panic, he tried to add them again.

a few days pass by but alas, no response from her. jay does not know why he's itching to check on his phone every now and then. heeseung and sunghoon don't even want to question why he's been staring at phone with his brows furrowed for hours now.

it's only because they're a good player and they can help me rank up. that's it.

soon enough, jay's routine has become waking up, going to school, and checking if user notursniper has accepted his request at every waking second of the day. the same goes for the following morning when jay anxiously opens the game again and finds one new message from a friend.

notursniper: hey loser. back for more?

masterlist. ┆ next.

summary: park jay lives life as a hot-headed gamer by day and.. well.. still a hot-headed gamer by night— except he secretly goes by the name killstrike. after losing a match, he finds himself trash-talking, his teammate notursniper, who happens to be the mysterious classmate he's been admiring for over a year and more.

taglist [open]: @yvnjin-s @wondering-out-loud @rikisly @babystrlla @shinrjj @homelycat

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astrobei · 1 year

Note

Hello Suni astrobei. For end of year asks, I ask you 2 and 12

hi abby strangeswift !! ok so i got a couple asks for 2 so i’m going to answer that one elsewhere so i can focus my full attention on Gushing !

12. talk about a new friend you made this year

ok i’m about to get seriously so sappy so if you don’t feel like reading through all this feel free to Leave (no hard feelings LOL)

i’m someone who has a pretty small social circle irl so i never thought i’d meet so many wonderful ppl this year, and definitely not online and definitely not because i started writing fanfiction again LOL like if u told january suni this she’d look at u like 👁👁 on a more serious note though this year was insane for me. so much changed really quickly in my life and i’m so beyond grateful that amidst all the chaos i was led to all of u guys ! literally if we’ve had even one conversation on here there’s a very high chance i’ve referred to u as a friend irl so. do with that what u will.

abby and ella (@elekinetic) and sierra (@finalgirlbyers) i want u guys to know that i treasure u all So Much. like even if our convos are sporadic or if we talk exclusively through asks ur presence on my dash brings me so much joy and i look forward to each post u make and each message and each ask and each incoherent ramble in the tags !! i don’t have Favorite Mutuals but if i did it would be u guys because it’s insane how much i light up seeing ur urls ! i hope 2023 brings so many more wonderful interactions w u guys, u rly make my mindless scrolling on tumblr 100x more fun

yvie @nnilkyway HELLO i am so so beyond grateful i met them this year ! what a strange stroke of luck too bc i was so obsessed w their art before we met and hearing him say he was a big fan of my work was like. mind boggling. anyways yvie is literally one of the funniest people i have ever met in my life oh my god it’s so rare for me to find people whose sense of humor just Clicks with mine but like. four messages in and we were sending each other memes and becoming best friends and it was fantastic! i have never once felt weird or intimidated talking to them which is crazy for me, a person who feels weird and intimidated a Lot, and also need i reiterate his INSANE TALENT !! like holy shit ! my go to person for talking about gf mike wheeler or mitski or literally just anything and everything. yvie if you’re reading this i am putting u in my pocket and holding u so close. mwah. also we are married, btw. if anyone cares.

haven @bookinit02 OK. you all have heard me gush about haven a million and one times on this blog and i’m sure you’ve seen her gush about me because she’s (rightfully) obsessed with me (/j. kind of) but haven was the first friend i ever made in the byler community which is so so beyond insane to me. i fell in love with her writing so instantaneously and you guys should’ve been there to see my reaction when i saw her leave her first comment on my fic. literally screamed it was so embarrassing 😭 we talked exclusively through ao3 comments for a while because she’d yell every time i updated ihcisc and i’d yell every time she updated her season 2 rewrite and then one day she dm’d me asking me to make a twt to add me to a byler gc and the rest was History. anyways haven is one of the most talented most creative people i’ve ever met BUT she’s also one of the sweetest and most compassionate people on the face of this planet and deserves nothing but good things always ! she’s one of those people that i need to talk to every day or i’ll go insane and i love how our convos can speedrun the entire human spectrum of emotions within like. 5 minutes. she’s so incredibly supportive and my #1 hype girl and she has the freaky ability to entirely turn my mood around on a bad day in less than 20 seconds. she literally managed to sleuth around and find my venmo just to send me soup money. if i could buy her Everything then i literally would. i would eat cilantro for her. i would watch the mlvn makeout scene for her. i would get my socks wet for her. literally i would do anything for her and i can’t wait until i see her in june and i chase her in circles around the airport and then we kiss👩🏼‍❤️‍💋‍👩🏽 and we Hug so tight and platonically 🫂

thea @wiseatom u already know. i tell her every day that i would do literally anything she asked of me and it’s true! literally 2 minutes ago she said “suni u should dye ur hair green” and for a moment i seriously considered it. anyways thea is objectively the funniest fucking person i have ever met in my life and is also my twin. if my twin were blond and taller and also a different age. in all seriousness though thea feels like the world’s most insane older sister to me and as an Actual older sister i’m really loving the feral little sibling treatment. she’s so insane easy to talk to (probably bc our brains work in the exact same way) and Oozes talent from literally every single cell in her body. she sends me a snippet of her work and i spend the next 10 minutes rolling on the floor trying not to SCREAM. there are so few people who can make me laugh as much as she does but also turn me into a blubbering mess of a baby with her Evil Cruel Prose 2 seconds later but thea wiseatom has been put on this planet to achieve the impossible. i have rarely felt so seen as i do when i talk to her, whether it’s for advice or Wallowing or complaining about our disproportionately large heads together, she is so kind and supportive and one of my favorite people Ever. i can’t believe the universe put her 3000 miles away from me because i Need to be a menace to her in person but we’ll make it work. every day i say goodnight to her at 8 pm my time and then say good morning to her at 2 am my time and then i go to bed <3 thea if you’re reading this (and u better be. i tagged u) i hope u know that u are the light of my life and i am packing my bindle as we speak to begin the cross country trek. mwah.

@andiwriteordie ANDI ! i miss talking to u every day but u are so busy with ur big girl job and cranking out quality fics at light speed so i’ll give u a pass 😔 andi is literally a legend in the byler fic community so when i found out she Knew Who I Was,,, i died. i literally died. even when we haven’t talked in a while i love how we can pick up a convo like nothing has changed or send posts that remind us of each other or go crazy apeshit in each others tags like there’s no tomorrow !! andi is so so inspirational to me, she is so kind and creative and full of positivity (even if her writing is mean and full of Sadness and Misery. still haven’t forgiven u for descent, btw) she feels like my other older sister and she has such an insane way with words that i will never understand ! thank u for singlehandedly keeping byler tumblr going, i hope 2023 is so kind to u and u get ultra promoted and have so much fun at the eras tour like u deserve <3

moon aka @smoosnoom omg ok not only is moon so crazy talented but she is such! a sweet person! back when i started writing for byler she was such an enigma to me, an ao3 user and a total Mystery, so i never expected us to actually talk and now! here we are! she is so uplifting and supportive and i’ve loved getting to know her over the past few months, whether it’s bonding over our shared hatred (affectionate. mostly) of finn wolfhard or bawling our eyes out to everything everywhere (oh my god.) seeing her comment on my first fic literally made my heart stop dead in my chest. she has such a gift for making everyone feel so immediately accepted and welcome in any space, and i will spend the rest of my life stewing in anger that she’s taller than me. that feels extremely, unfathomably illegal. anyway moon if ur reading this (and u also better be! bc i tagged u!!) i hope the new year is so good to u <3 mwah ily

#ok this was so long .#now that i’ve Gushed #i can continue to the other asks in my inbox. oops #anyways i love my friends so much if u couodnt tell #so full of Love and Good Feelings today #thanks for this ask abby i bet u are regretting it now LOL #/ask

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homocrafting · 1 year

Note

hi sorry if this message is sudden. Im deep in cold medicine so its not going to be coherent.either. But i reblogged ur richarlyson fanfic and brooooo uts fhcken awesome. i cried. idk if its some hidden sense of brazillian pride or whateves but i rlly love ur interpretation of himmmm. can u share hcs about richarlyson as a person and or post your snippet to ao3?

AAAAAA TYSM THIS MADE MY DAY!!!! everytime someone says they cried/almost cried bc of that fic I gain 5 points of strenght btw. this is a good thing

I might post it to ao3 soon!! just gotta get Tge Willpower for it, I'll add the link to it in the rbs of the og post when I do

hcs abt richas under the cut bc I love read mores (starts off as just more general stuff then gets into hcs abt him)

Richarlyson is such a fun character bc he's like the main character, just a little guy, the dude who dies to start the main character's story, and the symbol of hope charactersare given in their time of need, all at the same time

he's the main character in the way that the world revolves around him. like, he showed up, 5 people became obsessed with keeping him alive, safe and happy, his older brother (Bobby) tries to steal his spotlight, some people wanted him dead from the moment he was born, one of his fathers wants him to be a killing machine, he knows 3 languages, you see my point. and now, like, so many people are working on keeping him safe. he's the only uncracked egg, that has to mean something

he's just a little guy because he is just a little guy. he makes cute drawings for his dads and hangs out with his friends and has a bunch of siblings and is learning the flute and has a gun. he's 5 days old and he already lost a life

if he dies it's the beginning of so many terrible arcs. what is Forever's grind for if not his son's safety- to end the world, to get phil to love him? who does the emerald in Felps's house belong to? what's the point of the football field? what's the point of all the training? what if you lose a third (?) chance.

he's Quackity's hope, also, I guess, to be the parent he tried to be but never could, even if all he has is 1% of his custody

sorry anyway MOVING ON TO THE AVTUAL RICHAS HEADCANONS

Due to being the youngest egg, the others have varying types of Older Brother behavior with him

Despite whatever his siblings do, Richas still loves them

He's been taken to Tilin's grave quite a few times now, and each time he just gets... really sad. It doesn't make him value his life the way they want it to- instead, it convinces him he can't, by any means, let himself get killed, otherwise his dads will end up like 1% dad quackity (very very sad), and his siblings will mourn him and that won't be nice

he's an incredibly sweet kid- this isn't an hc as much as it's an Actual Real On God fact, I just think it's very important

because he is such a sweet kid, the lessons about hurting other things are the ones that he dislikes most

he loves tax evasion it's his favorite crime to commit

he picks up other people's habits very easily! things like tics, stims, speech patterns, etc

he's scared being manco will make his dads like him less. no matter how many times they tell him it's fine, he feels he has to compensate for it somehow

his gun is like a comfort object to him, and staying away from it for too long makes him very uncomfortable

despite being scared of bulls, he doesn't hate them, not like Leo hates whales, for example. Killing that bull he had gotten phisically close to wasn't pleasant

as he grows, he tries to put on a bit of a tougher persona because of, especially, Cellbit's expectations, although all the other dads' also contribute in different ways

ultimately, he sucks at keeping that up, and 99,9% of people can see right through him

he cherishes his first stolen emerald so so much

he uses braces due to his bad leg! that leg stops at the knee, and Forever is working on a prosthetic for him

he loves watching Forever work on the prosthetic, and will often comment on things he wants on it

he has a hard time understanding romance, due to having 5 dads who aren't in love with each other, Chayanne's dad being one of his dad's crush (he THINKS that's it), whatever cellbit and roier have going, etc

he forgives very easily

he doesn't really... like his definetly not a captivity room. he thinks he understands why he has to sleep there, and the attempts to make it more cozy worked a little, but it's too dark and quiet and small in there. there's barely any space to shoot his gun and soon there won't be space for paintings

somewhere, he has a whole ass habitat for his pet jabuti

he loves Dapper's (I think it's Dapperd I forgor) zoo

he has flute lessons with Tallulah every 2 days or so

and I thiiiink that's all for now? I've taken way too long to answr this already sorry :( but I hope it was worth the wait

#richarlyson #ecstra explosions

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ketchupkio · 6 months

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hey ho, op of the totk rant about the sandbox approach to totk here, i read your tags and i just wanted to add that i am german and played the game with the original japanese audio and german text, i like to call the things as the names i know them as even if i know the english version of them as well :D

i understand that you like the sonau tech stuff (personally i found it super clunky and mostly too tedious to deal with .. also i just like walking or riding around gdfhkbndj) and i get that, i totally do! and im not trying to argue against having that sort of movement in the game, but the EXECUTION of it!

like you could have achieved the same kind of movement and abilities with shiekah tech, you have all the parts from guardians, you could make flying maschines too! even more effiecient with guardian legs beign able to step over stuff that wheels get stuck on- and after zelda is in charge now shiekah tech could have been developed further again since she liked it too and wouldnt impose any rule against it, the time reversal for example could just have been the stasis rune but taken further- and if you had zelda as your companion, you could have an ability to losely attached the pieces you want to build (like with the shiekah arm prosthetic i gave link for the rewrite im doing for example) and zelda does the actual building to make it work in a quick little animation- for nearly everythign the sonau are used for the shiekah basically already had it and its driving me nuts that they instead undid it all only to .. do it again but worse o-o

sorry for the lil rant hdbksbfsbfkjd

YEAH I TOTALLY AGREE!!! The stuff that they wanted to implement could have been done much better with more ✨nuance and finesse✨ than the actual execution, and the reason given that the Sheikah tech just magically disappeared one day???? Bullshit. No one acknowledges this, and there are still Sheikah tech parts in the towers and the tech labs??? It obviously didn't ALL go away bc it's still there in those specific places. I don't know how the tech that's lasted 10,000 years up to this point, that works regardless if we take the tower warp pads as evidence, would know that the Calamity is gone and just disappear. It didn't go away once you did all the shrines, and you could argue that the monks were the last living part of it that would know if Link did it or not???

It's just. It's stupid, and very evident that the director was different from one game to the next. Totk kind of undoes the message that botw had and that just makes me angy (not to mention the blatant lore crimes that we're all going to have to work around if we wanna make the whole timeline make sense. I want to tear my hair out).

It would be better, as far as the botw shrines go, to just make them inactive. The door closes, the light goes out, the warp pad turns off. The totk shrines are plopped around because that's a Rauru thing, and they look like they're going to disappear anyway once his spirit is at rest, bc it's just a big rock, a decorative stone thing, and some sand. They're not part of the landscape like the botw shrines were.

Really, I only like the Zonai tech for the hover bike part and the steering stick applications, everything else I don't usually touch (though rocket shields are fun as a replacement Revali's gale). Like a lot of people have done really cool things with it, but I'm not those people 😂😂😂 I just have my One Thing that I use to get around scary places and it pulls left pretty hard so it's far from perfect.

The same thing could have been accomplished many different ways without introducing the Zonai. Like I would have given anything to see the Twili come back with their lore entwined with the Sheikah (bc the Sheikah probably learned how to make their stuff from the Zonai! It would make sense if the game acknowledged it).

Hahaha,,,,, I could go on about this forever tbh. My opinion on totk as a whole is: fun to play but disappointing. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Now all we can do is fix it with fanfic.

Though that was a good idea on how to re implement the Sheikah stuff! If you're cool with it, I might use it :3c (not for a whole retelling of totk, just for like. Flavor in the au I'm working on bc I was already planning to ignore the botw shrines disappearing.)

#Never never ever apologize for lore dumping like that #I love this stuff so much #loz #Totk #Replies #long post

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jovenshires · 6 months

Note

KATIE!!! First of all I just gotta say that the rwylm playlist absolutely destroyed me!! 💔

Like how dare you put both The things we used to share and somewhere only we know on it??? Like how am I supposed to just cope with that?! 😰🥹

That being said 🫶

Idk if you want to hear any sort of suggestions for the playlist (it is ofc already perfect as is 💕)

However there is one song in particular that I feel could fit super well!

It's called "Salt Water" by Ed Sheeran 💛. And even though Shayne doesn't actually go into the water in your fic, it did remind me a lot of his day in the beach town! (And his state of mind within the fic in general)

Some lyric examples:

"There's still so far to go and I can't feel my toes [...] I'm movin' forward, to where? God only knows"

→ the helplessness of being stuck in this time loop where things both progress and don't progress at the same time

"Feel the wind's harsh refrain like the clouds gripped my face Saying, "It's alright to run from all this pain" Oh, and when it's time to go with one last breath that's in my lungs, I'll scream, "It's all for love," I'll scream, "It's all for love"

-> Shayne arguing that he is only isolating himself bc he loves Damien too much

"I am filled up with regret With things I did or never said, just leave that well alone"

"…I'm free in salt water. Embrace the deep and leave everything. It was just a dream"

-> him trying to leave the whole time loop situation behind him for just one day, in the beach town. But also knowing that he will wake up to the same thing the next day

I was originally going to end this message here, but then I listened to "Curtains" (same album) again and I have some additional notes 😹🙈

This one feels more towards the phase of the fic where Shayne is beginning to reach out to Damien, but also still dealing with his insecurities/fears etc:

"Hide and seek, I am somewhere closed away. You won't believe how long it's been since I started the game. I can't be seen and you won't find me today. I've not been this low, but I'll be okay"

→ literally Shayne at the beginning of your fanfic; already a few loops in; and realizing, even more than before, how much he had closed himself off from other ppl

"Try to breathe, see a message and don't reply. Nice to meet, but in reality, say goodbye. Life can be so beautiful if you try"

→ further into your fic, where Shayne decides to take the day off and also later still doesn't know how to reply to Damien's text

""Are you okay?" Yeah, I guess so. But on some days, I feel like I'm trapped in a hole. But I keep quiet, so the ones around me don't know. That the mountain feels so steep. And I'll say that I'm here to help to carry the load. And the outside rays, they are good for the soul. So, let's step out of the dark 'cause, in here, it's so cold. The day's not out of reach"

→ basically Shayne's whole journey over the course of your fic, idk how to explain without this getting even longer than it already is🙈

"Can you pull the curtains? Let me see the sunshine. I think I'm done with my hidin' place and you found me anyway. It's been forever, but I'm feelin' alright. Tears dry and will leave no trace and tomorrow's another day"→ this last line in particular is the reason I had to include this song rec as well. Bc tomorrow is literally, finally, another day at the end of the fic! 🥹

No matter if you want to add anything to the playlist or not, I just really wanted to share these songs! The "-" album in general is so good imo 💛! And there are some other songs on it that feel very rwylm!Shayne coded.

Like "Life goes on" ("I remember the way you put me first", "When I hear your name, I think of love"),

"Vega" ("The days are long, but they pass within an instant", "I'll count my blessings the day I see you smile again")

And also "No Strings" for rwylm!Damien ("'Cause this is no strings, you are who I love And that won't change when we're fallin' apart")

(((Also in general low-key "Borderline", "Hills of Aberfeldy", "Balance")))

So yeah, loved your playlist (and the fic ofc). Have nice day! 🤗💛

STELLA i appreciate you SOOOOO much as always

i typically leave playlists in a stasis after i publish them, but i also had a thought for something to add after i published (not that i, for the life of me, can remember what it was now) so i might go back and add some stuff in!!

i don't listen to a lot of ed sheeran so i Love the recs and these do go SO hard for that fic.... ed did you write this album for them or What. anyway if i do decide to add things i will be Sure to put these on there. ty!!!!!

#stella #wallpaper inside my heart #ask #asks #rwylm #fic #shaymien #shipping

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hijinxensues · 1 year

Text

The Cloaking Brooch Dilemma - Part 8

RotTMNT Donatello x OC!AFAB

Synopsis: Donatello considered himself, nay, deemed himself the greatest mind of his generation. He was known for his skills as a scientist, inventor, engineer and was a technological genius. Dare he throw in that he was a damn good brother and held the title of being ¼th ‘Protector of New York City’.

He could barely fathom that he didn’t piece together that the pretty barista he was falling for was simultaneously his gaming buddy (might I add, for the last eight years) and was working for Big Mama.

At this very moment, Donatello was sure of two things in his life. One of them being his life was a joke and the second being that he was fraternizing with the enemy.

All because he decided to run errands whilst donning his cloaking brooch.

Warnings: Aged-Up turtles, fluff, Half-Yokai OC, AFAB OC (does use she/her/they pronouns in writing), swearing, light angst

FIRST

Ch 8 – Magenta

Despite your best efforts to convince Donnie to stay as the night closed in on the both of you, he politely declined saying that he’d make it home and that he was absolutely tougher than he looked. While he didn’t give off ‘string bean’ vibes, Donnie was very lean; you made a mental note to start feeding him more.

After ensuring he got home safe and bidding him goodnight, you cleaned up after yourselves and made yourself comfy in your own bed.

letty: not to give you a big ego or anything, but its like super lonely without you here lmao also vacuum up after ur rabbit fur ffs, why I also gotta clean up after YOUR shedding

gigi: my ego is so fucking large right now, also I pay for most of the groceries so. u can deal w the shedding ty bb

gigi: i will admit that i, too, have separation anxiety LOL its too late for me to make it over there

letty: donnie mentioned something about ‘portal magic’ or whatever being pretty common amongst yokai, maybe make urself useful and learn some, or better yet find someone who can do it for you

gigi: got, it will find hot boyfriend to portal me to ur place. Bc that’s SO easy. Also how was loverboy tonight?

letty: OMF I had a panic attack and then we like…semi cuddled or smth? Our shoulders were touching EEEE

gigi: THE SHOULDERS BABE!! youre ridiculous lmao im going to bed now, will swing by idk whenever ill just show up, night lov u bb

letty: ya whatever u got a key. that u got cut for yourself lmao

letty: NIGHT love u too

You rolled your eyes and made yourself into a little burrito before tucking your phone under your pillow and settling in. Having Donatello actively in your life the past few weeks was a bit of a whirlwind, getting past the initial shock of it all, the two of you established a bit of a routine and fallen into a rhythm. There were evenings where you had night shifts or he was just busy with family, but you’d made time to video chat or text almost all hours of the day and then to see each other at least every few days, schedule permitting.

Were you two…seeing each other?

No, that would be ridiculous. The prerequisite of two or more people seeing each other with romantic intentions would be that all parties would be in consensus to said suggestion prior to moving forward with it. On top of that, all parties would also have to be honest…guilt gnawed at you your hand finding it’s way to one of your ears and tugging gently. The ‘Cloaking Brooch Dilemma’ would have to be addressed sooner or later, but when? It felt like too much time had passed to just casually bring it up. Would he think you’re a liar? Worse, would he hate you for lying by omission? You should’ve just made the reveal the same night you found out he was using ‘Othello’ as an alias.

Sighing, you closed your eyes and let sleep take you. It was a problem for another day.

You hadn’t heard much from Donnie during the day, (he did have other obligations than answering your text messages back, unfortunately). Wiping the counter down at Rendezvous, you get a ping on your phone.

gigi: we out of milk can u get some on the way home plz

letty: we?

letty: WHOS ‘WE’? you and me? U don’t live there

letty: u fucking moocher

letty: also yes lactose free? venmo me bitch

After receiving a thumbs up emoji from your rabbit counterpart, you focus back on tending to the coffee machine and cleaning up. There wasn’t much longer to go until your shift here was done, you’d get a little bit of a break then you’d have a shift at the Grand Nexus. Making a mental note to put up milk in between your jobs, the telltale ring of the door goes off making it known someone’s come in.

“Hi, welcome to- oh, hey! It’s been a while!”

Your hands make quick work starting a latte for him and grabbing a cinnamon bun. You give him a once over which causes you to pause your rapid muscle memory. Your regular normally wore a black mask to cover his nose and mouth but he was without it today and you were met with a very familiar shade of green and purple. The purple clad individual was sans his goggles and in place a black beanie, but with his drawn-on eyebrows on his purple bandana, this was without a doubt, the terrapin who you’d had, not one but two, run ins with at Tio Huesos’. He looked so casual bundled up in his coat, faux fur lined the hood, his bottom half in well-worn dark grey sweatpants and then boots with dark purple socks poking out the top.

Thinking back to the other times you’d seen him previously, how have you not recognized him sooner?

You honestly weren’t sure how to feel, he’d always been a quiet and well-behaved regular. He’d never given you a hard time and had always given a nod or a half curtesy smile before heading out with his goods. Frustration brewed in your chest thinking back to all his attitude outside the Rendezvous walls.

“Hello,” his voice cracked, he smoothed over his neck with a hand and cleared his throat, “Salutations!” he tried one more time with a nervous chuckle and an awkward smile. You were almost tempted to think he was cute. Almost. “Tonight is an exceptional night for a stroll and a coffee, don’t you think?”

This was a very different version of the turtle you previously had run into with your rabbit ears equipped. Thinking back, he was much more nervous now than you’d ever seen taking in account the times he’d come by the coffee shop over the years, and he’d never previously tried to initiate small talk with you in the past.

“The same as usual, right? I’ve already got it going.”

He deflates, smile quickly replace with a tight-lipped nod. Eyes darting everywhere but your own as he paid for his order. He shoved his hands deep into his pockets as he stiffly made his way to the other counter to wait for his order.

Holding back a groan, you got his order ready, guilt seeping into your bones as your curt response wiped the smile off his face. He does have a pretty smile. Biting back a scowl you mentally reprimand yourself for thinking any boy with pretty eyes that paid you any attention was cute.

“Ah, sorry sir,” you start slowly, “just having a long day.”

You slide over two cinnamon buns instead of one, “An extra for you on the house.” Twirling a bit of hair around your finger, you tug lightly and offer as bright of a smile as you can muster to turn the mood around.

The terrapin almost fumbles his coffee cup as he puffs his chest out with a newfound confidence. ‘Oh god, there he is’, this energy was what you associated with him at Tio Huesos. He was but a shade away from exuding an air of arrogance.

“But of course! I did not at all take the pervious interaction personally in any capacity! Ha ha!”

Two things were made instantly clear to you.

1) Purple Turtle was a shitty liar.

He pulls a giggle out of you, and you catch his grin widen marginally as his fingers clench and adorably thrum on the pastry box.

2) You were too soft on Purple Turtle. (Note to self: Be an asshole and commit to it.)

He glances down at your nametag, and the gesture oddly reminds you of Donnie, “Violet, have a good evening.”

“You as well, sir.”

The terrapin struts out of the shop quickly and with purpose, a bit of a bounce to his step a stark contrast from his more subdued and jittery movements coming in. You almost miss him fist bump the air as he turns the corner and is out of sight.

‘You’ve been invited to ‘Girls Night!’ group chat’

Rapid pings happen on your phone as April, Sunita and Usagi spam the text thread. Quickly, you put the group chat on mute and save both girls numbers into your phone. Pocketing your phone to clean up after your mess you made another mental note to try your best and actual conversate and cultivate new relationships with Usagi’s other friends.

The rest of your shift goes by uneventfully and your co-worker comes in to relieve you as you clock out. Waving them a goodbye, you gather your things and head home to rest up before your night shift at the Grand Nexus.

Your apartment is rabbit-less when you enter, and you put the milk away in the fridge. Your nose twitches as you walk around the space, ‘I probably just missed him’, your sense of smell was slightly heightened post-mutation and you didn’t put it to use often but it was useful when needed.

‘125 Missed Messages’

Snorting you press the record button to record a voice note, “Hey girlies, sorry was at work. Just got home, but also going to head out to work again in a little bit. Uh, got the milk, Gigi. Also, lets plan for hanging out? I can host, my space is small, but it’ll be cozy! Hope yall don’t mind rabbit fur- Gigi is shedding.” Letting the voice note send, you prep another, “Also, 125 missed messages!?”

A voice note from Usagi pops up, “Venmo’d you for milk. Yes, catch up on the chat while you get ready for work. I’ll swing by later, probably? Love you.”

April: yall are too cute!! reminds me of my siblings but much less violent and annoying

Violet: LOL, how many u got?

Sunita: she has like, 4 brothers.

Four!? That would make April one of five siblings, in this economy? In New York City?! Settling into your couch cushions you catch up on your missed messages and send a few voice notes back to them.

April: okay, so girls night on Thursday? that gives us all a few days to prep and book off work!

Sunita: Already in the calendar!! SO EXCITED

Usagi: i’ll be there early to help set up the apartment

Letty: YAY okay sounds good yall, will talk later, just getting ready 4 the night shift

Getting ready you put your things together and leisurely pull out a post it-note and start writing to let Usagi know when you’d be home and to throw the garbage out when he got in. Sticking the note on the fridge, you double then triple check you have everything for your shift then set off to your destination.

“Did you ever find out what that turtle Yokai was snooping around for?” Draping yourself across the magenta chaise you play catch with yourself and a crumpled-up piece of paper. Catching the ball in your hand you make the next toss into a nearby waste basket.

The loud smack on the table startles you enough to almost slide out of the chaise.

“No, we didn’t. He was seemingly snooping around for nothing; nothing was out of place. Nothing was missing. It was virtually untouched.”

Odd, but what did you know about hero and villain affairs?

Usagi had pretty much confirmed that he was one of the color-coded vigilantes that saved the city from the alien invasion a few years back and so you were reticent to think he was doing something with malicious intent. You were very well aware through the grape vine that Big Mama was…’sketchy’ to speak plainly. If anything, ‘sketchy’ was a very watered-down descriptor of the woman.

Secretly, you hoped he got what he needed the last time so you wouldn’t need to be caught up with him again. You really did like the job at the hotel. The grandeur of the hotel used to make you feel out of place, but now it felt cozy to be surrounded by such warmth from the richness of the velvet furniture and the overdressed patrons.

The telltale flickering red light catches your attention and you let go of a breath you didn’t know you were holding, “Hello, front-“

“Intercom girl, I was hoping I’d catch you.”

How he was able to tell it was you based on two words alone stumped you.

The florescent blue clouds your vision as the line goes dead and the blue clad terrapin walks through and closes the portal behind him. A hand finds your emergency button immediately; however you find yourself not wanting to press it. Ears swiveling, you do a once over the lobby to confirm there was no other employees in the vicinity to see this. Your hand knocks over the switch for the security cameras trained on the front desk and you lie to yourself that you did it by accident.

Sticking your neck out for a stupid, blue turtle wasn’t on your to-do list today, but here you were.

“I think you already know what I’m going to say, but how can I help you?”

“You know, Intercom Girl, I can call you ‘Intercom Girl’ right? I think we got off on the wrong foot,” he flashes a grin at you that would surely make someone else swoon (but not you, purple was more your color), “The names’ Leo and I believe you and me might have a mutual friend.”

You follow his gaze to the button on your wrist to notify the staff and you guess he catches the way your eyebrows furrow uncertainly so he follows up with a, “I don’t bite, promise.”

“You’re going to need to give me more than just your name and an ominous mention about a mutual friend.” Rationally, you could guess he was talking about Usagi, given that Usagi himself confirmed the terrapins did takeout at Huesos. However, Leo could also be alluding to April or even Sunita? Though, those choices were less plausible since there was only one instance where you’d met them.

“We’re also on a time limit before someone comes down to check on me, so talk fast.” Pressing him for time seems to be the right play as he deflates momentarily as the jig is up. He glances around the same way you did before and leans in close, “So,”

“So?”

“There’s this,” he runs a hand down his face and you don’t miss the way his cheeks are dusted with pink. Gesturing with your hand for him to keep going, he refuses to meet your eyes as he continues, “Rabbit Yokai at ‘Run of the Mill’.”

You were calling Usagi once you got off the clock.

“And you’ve come to me to confirm that we’re mutuals or?”

He fidgets with the wrappings on his arms, “I’m usually much more suave than this,” he chuckles nervously and pulls at an invisible collared shirt.

“Are you? Because it looks like rabbit got your tongue.” Confidently you smirk at him with your play on words.

“I can respect that, honestly. I made an IHOP joke last I saw you so I definitely deserved that. Point is, I’m just making sure he’s safe.”

Scratch that, you were calling Usagi the moment Leo left.

“Safe? Where is he? What’re you on about?” Panic shows itself in the way your fingers go to your pocket to grab your phone to contact him. Leo’s gaze hardens as he stares down your jittery form, “You work at the Grand Nexus, who’s owned by Big Mama- one of the biggest crime lords for the Hidden City. Can’t be too careful.”

“And? Usagi’s my best friend!” your mouth is too fast for your brain and you’ve revealed the only real leverage you had against him, “Are you accusing me of putting him in danger because of my night job!? How do you even know we know each other?! I would’ve heard about you if you were important to him.”

Usagi would’ve told you if he was seeing someone, especially if it was this guy. Right?

The doubt that’s sowed into your head is blinding and doesn’t help you think straight as you press the emergency button Leatherhead gave you.

“You should go. Don’t come back.”

Leo’s gaze doesn’t leave yours, his expression unreadable, as he opens his portal and walks through.

Your apartment door almost comes off the hinges with how violently you unlock and push it open. Your rabbit counterpart yelps and flops onto the floor unceremoniously from the couch. Usagi’s has his hand to his heart, he breathes heavy and fast, “What the fuck is going on!? It’s like, 1am in the morning!”

“I don’t know, you tell me! Do you happen to know a ‘Leo’? That’s also a turtle? Because I’ll tell you what there’s probably not many of those around!”

A flash of recognition runs across his face as he catches his breath, “Well, yeah? He comes to Tio Huesos’. Why did you have to give me a heart attack, for the second time, at 1am in the morning to ask that question!?”

Tears pinprick at your eyes as you collapse beside him on the floor and recount the encounter with Leo to Usagi, bottom lip quivering and tears painting your cheeks. “Do you not trust me?” Warm arms engulf you, “Letty, I trust you with my life. Leo can get overprotective-“

“So, you do know him?!”

“I do! But like, casually? I was actually waiting to see if it’d get more serious before I outright told you.”

“But we tell each other everything.” Her admission is barely a murmur.

“We do, and I was wrong to keep it from you even if that wasn’t the intention. You know how quickly I catch feelings and I really just wanted to be sure before I brought it up this time. I’m so sorry, Letty.” Sputtering out a watery laugh you clutch at his sweater, “Lest we forget, Gerard the Frog Prince, your last ‘true love’.”

There’s a playful bat at your head and a tug on your ear, “Listen, I deserve that but also fuck you.”

The air in the apartment is much lighter as the two of you sleepily clutch onto each other, seeking warmth and comfort. Usagi reaches for the comforter and a few pillows, “We can do a pillow fort tonight?”

Wiping away your tears onto Usagi’s sweater you nod and get up to help him drape sheets over a few chairs before grabbing a few fairy lights from your bedroom to rig on the inside. You rummage for a few more comforters since you were too lazy to move your mattress and make a little den.

“Leo would have a fit if he saw this, he’d think we’re dating.”

“He knows I only like guys, but also, I definitely have to talk to Leo about whatever the fuck just happened, because you are the farthest thing from a threat. I think his family just has messy history with Big Mama.”

You snort, “Yeah, get your man babe, he’s out of control. You should also ask how he knew where to find me?”

“Well, he’s a ninja so I think he probably followed you. Maybe he’s seen us walk home together or something, I’ve brought you up very vaguely in conversation.”

Humming, you concede, that made a lot of sense, “That’s deeply unsettling. Speaking of turtles, my regular came in today and guess what? He’s the purple turtle from Tio Heusos I ran into! He didn’t recognize me obviously, but it was whack. I felt like I was in the matrix.”

“You’re kidding me.”

“That’s what I’m saying!”

Yawning you pull out your phone to see an onslaught of messages from the group chat and Donnie. You open Donnie’s text thread and start typing.

letty: had the craziest fucking day, I don’t think you’re awake but missed you today

letty: also my dishwasher is broken, can you come over and fix it plz lmao tyty my lil techie

donnie: Please do not ever call me ‘lil techie’ ever again.

letty: it’s your new rap name, but also go the fuck to bed

donnie: I missed your presence today as well and do tell me about your day later today. I am heading to bed now, but I’m glad I caught you. And yes, I will fix your dishwasher.

letty: perf, youre the best but u knew that already

‘Letty sent a photo attachment’

letty: check out this blanket fort, made it w gigi night lil techie

donnie: 3 things: Love the addition of fairy lights, fuck off and goodnight.

Usagi’s ears flop over your shoulder and you watch his even breathing signaling he’s gone to sleep already. You dim your fairy lights, get comfortable and let sleep take you for the night.

TBC

#tmnt donatello #donatello #Rise Donatello #rise of the tmnt #rottmnt #rottmnt donnie #rottmnt oc #donnie x oc #rise donnie x oc #rise donnie x reader #rise donatello x reader #the cloaking brooch dilemma tmnt #sorry idk if im happy with this chapter but the show must go on #i also know usagi and oc just snuggle a lot i am a touch starved individual #i wish my best friend was usagi honestly #the next chapter is so much better i promise

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uwowrites · 2 years

Note

Ok sooo

I saw requests for fics where open, so i hope you dont mind me requesting one. But well, could you perhaps write a fic with Boss being a protective dad to Eugene?

It's actually been a year since i played Underworld Office, so i dont remember alot 😅 (i plan on replaying it after i finish Charlie in Underworld tho), but like, after the events of the game, from the true ending. The the time between UWO and CUW, if after the events, Boss got worried and more protective over him and all that but wont admit it

So take maybe Eugene getting in another dangerous situation, not as life threatening as before, but still something bad and Boss coming to rescue him

And add mom River to the mix maybe, bc she does mother him alot lol.She'd be more open on caring about Eugene and tease Boss after everything I'm sure.

But yeah, obviously all platonic, duh. But i thought it be nice and all. Just a small oneshot of that

It can either be the part of the dangerous situation and the aftermath, or to make it quick and short if you need it to, just the aftermath maybe. I'd like angst and fluff, hurt/comfort if you will

All in all, just need some comfort after playing my first round in CUW, and possibly more soon as i continue to play it YwY

But yeah, hope it aint much trouble to ask either, take your time!

Pair-enting

(Platonic River, Boss and Eugene)

Eugene listened carefully for the monster, closing his eyes as he tried to concentrate on finding out where the monster was headed. Opening his eyes, he looked down at the child in his arms, who looked no more than four years old. They had never expected their patrol would include having to save a kid from a monster, the latter extremely dangerous and bloodthirsty. Knowing that they couldn't risk endangering the child's safety, they opted to hide.

The monster growled and roared in frustration, annoyed that it couldn't find the two that had been hiding from it. The child flinched and hid it's face in Eugene's shirt, the mortal held the small of their back and held them closer. Holding their breath, Eugene waited for the monster to move along, praying that it moved in the opposite direction of the office.

Hearing the monster's footsteps fade gradually, Eugene immediately booked it for the office, praying that there would be someone who could help them contain the monster that was currently loose on the streets. The child giggled in their arms and Eugene felt themself smile at that.

Phasing through the walls of the office, Eugene looked around and noticed that the others weren't present. He wracked his mind to come up with a plan and decided to leave the child and a message with Sean while he tried to ensure that no other ghosts got hurt by the monster. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ "Eugene! You're hurt!" Sean exclaimed as he noticed Eugene fly towards him. As the ghost took a closer look, he saw a small girl in the mortal's hands.

"I'll be alright. But I wanted to ask, could you take care of her? And if you meet the others, could you ask them to fly South towards Blair corner?" Eugene rushed in one breath.

Placing down the flower basket, Sean took the kid from Eugene's hands, "Wait, you are still hurt. You-"

"I'll be fine! Don't worry!" Eugene yelled as they flew away.

As Sean was about to call after them, Eugene had already slipped out of his earshot.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Eugene was drained out from flying at their top speed. And although it took a long time for them to catch up to the monster, they still managed reach the place just in time. The monster was still thrashing around, and roared once it caught a glance of Eugene.

Eugene gulped and dodged one of it's oncoming tentacles. They were still at a loss of what to do when Boss' words came up in his mind.

'First, ensure all civilians have been evacuated. Determine the monster's preferred range of attack. Next, see if there are any nearby sources of light. Like ghosts, monsters are weak in the presence of light.'

"Alright. Let's do this." Eugene said with determination flowing through their veins.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------ "That was tiring." River stretched, placing her hands behind her head.

"I didn't think that it would have taken this long to seal the monster." Joan stretched and winced in the process as she felt her back ache from the bruise she earned during the fight.

Boss, noticing her facial expression change, suggested, "Ma'am, we could go and meet Sean. He could help relieve you from your pain."

"That sounds like a good idea. Plus, it's been a while since we asked about Linda." River pitched in, as she hovered over the ground while her partners walked.

"I guess we could go and see the boy then." Joan agreed. She disliked the idea of having to burden Sean but she could feel her back pain worsen.

"Speaking of boys, how do you think Eugene is doing on their patrol?"

"I am sure they are fine. I have confidence in their abilities." Boss spoke with a hint of pride in his tone.

"If only you could speak this positively about me behind me back." River wiped a fake tear from her face, prompting Boss to roll his eyes at her in amusement.

"If you didn't always start fights, then maybe I would."

"You say that like I pick fights as soon as I step out the door."

"You don't?"

The two engaged in light banter while Joan shook her head fondly. Boss and River, although very experienced in fighting monsters and helping ghosts, were children in her eyes (even though they may be in their late twenties and are mature). Children who died at a young age while having their whole life ahead of them.

Once the flower shop came into view, Joan noticed Sean's absence and found it odd.

"That's weird. Sean normally distributes flowers in front of the shop." River said, confused but deciding to not think to much about it. "He is probably inside-"

"I am so glad to all are here." Sean spoke, accidently interrupting River in the process as he phased through the wall of the shop. "Please come inside. I really need your help."

Boss frowned at the statement. 'Something must be really bothering him since he isn't hiding from me or stammering in my presence. But did it really have to take a crisis for him to not be afraid of me?'

The three followed Sean inside the shop and saw a small girl sitting on the floor, with flowers in her hair. River cooed as she walked towards the child and kneeled down, "Hey there. Those flowers look really pretty. Did you pick them by yourself?"

"N-no. Um, he gave them t-to me." she stammered nervously.

"Ah. Well, I think they look nice on your hair. What is your name?" River asked, offering a gentle smile.

"Ezra." The girl smiled back.

"Well Ezra, my name is River. The granny's name is Joan and he is Boss." River pointed to the ghosts as she introduced them.

"Sean." Boss called.

"Y-yes sir." replied Sean, wincing at his stammer.

'So much for not stammering.' Boss thought, "Where did you find her?"

"That's, uh, what I needed your help for. Eugene brought her in before going off again to fight a monster. At least, I think he is. He seemed to be in a hurry to fly there."

"Wait a minute. Eugene is fighting a monster on his own?" River stood up.

"I am not sure. He asked me to tell you to fly to Blair Corner."

Boss gripped his fan instinctively. Trying his best to control his worry, he ordered, "River, you and I will be going to help Eugene. Sean, could you help Joan? She got hurt while we were fighting a monster."

"Yes S-sir."

"Hold on a minute. I am coming as well." Joan stepped forward.

"I am sorry ma'am. But in your current condition, I cannot allow you to come with us. If the situation becomes too much for us to handle, we will call you." Boss countered.

Knowing that there was no way of convincing Boss, Joan decided to stay put. The ghost knew that there would be a chance that she might end up becoming a burden since she was hurt.

Boss marched out of the shop with River following suit. As soon as the two were outside, they took off and flew as fast as they could.

"Eugene will be okay."

"I hope so, River." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 'The area is clear and no one is around. Except of course, me.'

Eugene continued dodging the monster's attack, praying that they wouldn't end up getting crushed by it.

Seeing the stadium come into view, they let out a relieved sigh, "Finally!"

Eugene could feel their body scream in exhaustion as they flew, the monster hot on their trail. The monster, sensing the mortal's exhaustion, swept it's tentacle at them, knocking them out of the sky. As they fell, Eugene close their eyes and tried to summon all the energy they had left, hoping they could try to catch themself from falling.

"Got you!"

Eugene opened their eyes as they felt a pair of arms catch them midair, looking up, they saw River smile at them in relief.

"River?"

"Glad to see you still in one piece newbie. Gotta admit, I am impressed you held your own against this thing."

Eugene chuckled as they wrapped their arms around River, thankful that the female came just in time.

Eugene's attention was drawn to the monster as it let out a scream in pain. They turned their head to see Boss mercilessly wrapping the ends of his hanbok around the monster and using his fan to chop off it's tentacles one by one. As they watched the fight go on, they noticed Boss growing tired.

'Must be because he was sealing other monsters in that haunted building tonight.' "River, take Eugene and get out of here!" Boss yelled, as he dodged an attack from the creature.

River nodded and took off.

"Wait, River-"

"Eugene, You are hurt and tired. No way I am letting you fight."

"We can't just leave Boss to handle that monster on his own. He looks exhausted. Which is why I am asking you to just hear my plan out."

River stopped in their tracks and looked at Eugene. In a split second, she saw Eugene's 15-year-old self. Perhaps it was the way their eyes flickered with determination, similar to how they were when they fought Jack.

'The newbie really has come a long way, huh?' River's face broke into a grin, feeling proud of their newbie.

"All right. Let's hear it newbie."

Eugene smiled briefly before speaking, "So, there is a stadium nearby. If we turn on the lights, that should be more than enough to weaken the monster. The only thing is, we got to lure it all the way."

"Pretty sure I can anger it enough for it to wanna chase me." River said proudly.

Eugene chuckled before he noticed a tentacle come towards her, "Watch out!"

River turned around just before Boss's hanbok cut the appendage off.

"Come one Newbie!" River said, keeping a firm grip on Eugene as they flew closer to the monster.

"Hey!" Eugene yelled, trying to catch the attention of the monster.

Boss, annoyed that River and Eugene were still there, yelled, "What are you-"

"Just trust me!" Eugene replied.

Although he was confused, Boss chose to trust Eugene's judgement and started to float from the ground towards the pair.

"Follow us." River told Boss as she flew straight towards the stadium, feeling tired but still determined to stop this monster.

The monster pursued them, Boss hoped that whatever plan Eugene had would work out.

Once they reached the football stadium, River let Eugene down while Boss landed. The monster phased through the bleachers and screamed, causing Eugene to cover their ears.

"I'll try to find the light controls. Could you two distract it in the meantime?" Eugene asked, hoping they didn't come off as bossy.

"We will be fine, Eugene. Just be careful." Boss replied, snapping his fan open.

Eugene ran, knowing they no longer had the energy to fly anymore. They frantically looked around for the control panel as Boss and River fended off the monster. Their head was throbbing but Eugene knew they had to pull through it.

After what seemed like an eternity to them, they finally found the room. Phasing through the wall, their eyes darted around the room before landing on the controls. Sprinting towards it, Eugene immediately hit all the buttons, hoping that at least one would turn on the lights.

The sound of the monster crying in pain captured his attention and he looked up to see the monster squirming about.

River took this as an opportunity and wrapped her hair around the monster, Boss did the same except for with his hanbok. The two of them pulled the monster as Boss readied his fan. The two of them were weak as well, since lights were a source of weakness for ghosts.

Eugene flew out of the room and closer to the pair battling the monster.

"Eugene, Catch!" Boss called out as he threw his fan.

Eugene caught the fan and looked at Boss, who was struggling to hold the monster down, along with River.

"Remember our training and use it!"

Eugene's eyes widened in surprise, "But... I- I can't."

"Newbie, Boss isn't-" River nearly lost her balance before regaining it again and continuing, "Look, if he is sure you can do it, then you can. I believe you can do it too!"

Gripping the fan, he looked at it before opening it. Boss and River stood at the opposite sides of the monster, trying to restrain it from moving. Gathering his courage, Eugene charged towards the monster. Bringing their hand back, they swiped the fan with all the strength they had left, effectively absorbing all of the monster's mass into the keepsake.

Once it disappeared, Eugene snapped the fan close and laughed in relief. Boss retracted his clothes and River, her hair. River fist pumped the air in triumph while Boss brushed his hair with his hand. As Eugene swayed on their feet in exhaustion, they felt their last ounce of energy drain away. Feeling the world spin, they fell back on the grass.

"Eugene!" the ghosts called out.

"I'm... okay. Just... really tired." Eugene panted. The two of them looked down at them, concern etched on both their faces. Eugene spoke up again, "Do you mind if we just... you know, sat for a while?"

Boss disappeared, and Eugene worried if they accidently upset the male. River plopped down next to the mortal and laid on her back and yawned. A few seconds ticked by and the stadium lights turned off. Confused, Eugene looked at River who shrugged in response.

"The longer the lights stay on, the more we risk garnering unwanted attention."

Eugene turned his head and jerked in surprise as he saw Boss staring at them. The head of the office sat down next to them, before slowly lying down.

The three lied down in silence. Taking advantage of the quiet after their tiresome battle. The events of tonight replaying in their heads as they relaxed.

"You did well, Eugene. I am proud." Boss said, looking at the sky.

"Yeah, newbie! Color me impressed." River nudged Eugene's shoulder.

Eugene laughed, exhaustion still eating at him, "I couldn't have done it without you both. Thanks for helping me out."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ngl, I really wish there were more family moments in ciu.

#Charlie in underworld #Underworld office #Boss #River #Eugene #Underworld office Boss #Underworld office RIver #Underworld office Eugene

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