#i hate that I fell for that fucking DnD post

[cloudmancy]

i just finished acofaf and i havent finished the last few adventuring partys yet but it kind of makes me feel crazy how no one has brought up wuvvy clearly being in love with rue. especially in rue & wuvvy's last conversation theres never any indication of rue acknowledging the depth of wuvvy's feelings for them or the sacrifices she's made to be with them and its kind of baffling to me cause rue must know how wuvvy feels about them right? she left her court for them! which is literally the same exact grand gesture hob makes for rue to prove his "love" for them. except wuvvy didnt need to be persuaded. and i was so surprised how in the adventuring parties nobody rlly talked much about wuvvy's love for rue, like emily mentioned it a few times but it felt to me like this elephant in the room that no one was talking about. it's funny cause most/all of the pcs this season were queer but wuvvy comes across kind of like a "scorned lesbian" character where the lack of acknowledgement of her grievances belittles them so as to communicate that they are not legitimate and her feelings are petty and immature. which is obviously a trope intended to preserve a heteronormative and misogynistic status quo. sorry if this is kind of rambly and/or incoherent (i have the flu) i just like your posts and fanart of wuvvy and i wanted to share my thoughts!

OHHHH BOY... you're in for a treat because they do talk about wuvvy in acofaf APs 9-10. it's bittersweet because it's very much an acknowledgement of 'yeah she had feelings for rue and it's a bit fucked up what happened to her'. I cannot blame oscar for wanting to go for a PC/PC romance with brennan's character rather than the NPC but you're right... it really does bother me the way the fandom treated her as a bitch, making really aggressively violent posts when she burned hob's letter, oscar not really even acknowledging in or out of character how much rue meant to her... some of it has to be attributed to how short the adventuring parties are and how much of it was spent talking about ruehob (I have my own opinions about how baffling it was that ruehob was meta'd and built up so much entirely OUTSIDE of the campaign, the main content of the show? but that's a post for another time)

I don't think aabria, brennan, oscar, or anybody else actually meant to contribute to a lesbophobic trope or stereotype; aabria was playing a thoroughly cool character and the circumstances surrounding her just happened to end up this way. it's a game of dnd in the end where a pc/pc romance is more interesting roleplay wise and that is how the cards fell in terms of npc romance. it would not kill people to acknowledge wuvvy and how badly rue hurt her though 😞 I have a huge problem with the 'ruehob together forever, happy ending' part of acofaf & its fandom because of how little the fandom seems to remember or care about her... I do think that is a pattern of misogyny especially when you have many many fans who violently hate wuvvy for getting in the way of their (already canon) ship

I will never stop talking about wuvvy though. [slaps her horns] this satyr can contain so much devotion and angst in her

[2braincellslz]

Hc's of the ST boys

Includes: Billy hargrove, Jonathan Byers, Eddie Munson. (I did Steve in a different post I think)

If you dont agree with me, cope.

Billy hargrove

Man is a closeted home of sexual.

It's gotten to the point where he rejects anything remotely gay just so people dont get any suspicious.

He loves Queen but wont admit it.

Definitely has a skin care routine.

(Drop the routine shawty)

Has never had to deal with zits or acne ever in his life.

He has been hunting once and he fucking hated it

He wants another Tattoo but he wont get one while living with Neil because the first time Neil blew up on him.

Treats his car better the anything else.

Def a cat person.

Hes a big spoon. He likes to be the one holding his partner close.

Likes to listen to music while he cuddles.

His love language is words of affirmation and physical affection.

He walks with his arm around his partner at all times. Wether it be around their waist or shoulders, or what not.

Hates giving gifts. He hates the struggle of trying to figure out what people want. Christmas is hell for him.

Hes a horror movie enjoyer.

Though he plays Basketball, he also really likes baseball.

Hates coffee shops for some reson.

Hes scared of clowns.

If there is a clown running at him, he would throw his partner in the way so he could get away.

He has a major sweet tooth. He loves chocolate.

He wants kids but gets really anxious at the thought because he dosnt want to become Neil.

Probably has a conceal carry license.

Has the high score on one of the arcade games that max frequents. No one can beat it.

Max gave him a surfboard shaped skateboard and he put it up on his wall.

He tried skating once and fell and hit his chin on this side of the road.

He never tried skating after that.

We all know that Billy skips. The school has to call home every time a student skips. So he rushes home and picks up the phone before his dad finds out.

Hes never in class but he is ace-ing all his classes.

He would definitely like Game Of Thrones.

Gets stoned every weekend with Eddie.

Jonathan Byers

He tried to play DnD with his broth once but he just couldn't understand the game.

He played a half-orc bard though.

Hes a great cook and he loves cook for others.

Can we just all admit Jonathan is a great father figure. I mean, we all know Steve is the mom, but come on.

Unlike Billy, he loves Gift Giving. Especially foods and sweets.

Valentines with him in spectacular. He treats you like a prince/princess/royal.

Is not a big reader. He will read if he has to but he rather not.

Has said "I dont know how to read." Before.

He likes the rain. Like, really likes the rain. He likes how calming it is.

He is one dehydrated bitch.

Because he is dehydrated he has to deal with all the consequences. Dry skin, chapped lips, headache, ache, so on and so on.

Because his lips are so chapped, he also has a major problem of licking them raw.

He likes to spend money on his partner but not himself. Even though he dosnt have a lot of money, he still get meaningful gifts.

Maybe he should teach Billy how to give gifts.

He believes is Ghots, Witches, and other stuff. After everything hes seen, he basically believes everything.

Love language is gift giving and physical affection.

He likes to have his partners head on his chest while they cuddle.

A very important part of being in a relationship to him is being able to play with someones hair while they cuddle.

Also likes listening to music while cuddling.

Shit as Spanish. RIP his grade.

He can sleep anywhere. His bed, class, the car, movie theater.

He just sleeps a lot.

He fell asleep while playing DnD by accident.

Probably has a pillow and a blanket in the back seat of his car.

Also probably carrys a med kit on the back of his car now.

Seems like the type to name his car. Probably dickTurbon or something like that.

Definitely likes Steely Dan.

Gets high with Billy and Eddie on friday nights.

I personally reject season 4 Johnathan so take that as you will.

Eddie Munson

A class fruity. Not sure what flavor but his is.

Has probably played some kind of classical instrument. Cello most likely.

If he did, he quit about a year or two in.

Shit in school as we all know.

Only really was good at English. He loves reading.

He likes reading to his partners. Especially while he cuddles with them.

He likes to have them resting on his chest as he reads them Lord Of The Rings, The Hobbit, other nerdy books.

He loves subs.

"The world can suck a egg!"

He loves to dance shimmy and shake.

Definitely would loved video games like RDR2, skyrim, the Sims, all that jazz.

Can not stand horror movies. Cant do zombies, slashers, thrillers, nothing. Can do it. Not at all.

He can only really stand Halloween.

Infact, he really likes Halloween.

His love language is words of affirmation and gifts.

Just like Jonathan, hes also really good at gifting.

Great listener (even if he dosnt seem like it) it's one of the main resons hes good at gift giving.

Number one gift to give is mixtapes. Obviously.

[the-marshmallow]

I so rarely share my OC lore (mainly because I think it sucks) but here's what I got on my fave Bhaal-babe, Roux the Murderbard.

NB: it's probably not DnD-lore-friendly but I don't care - we're here to have fun not good grades, right?

The Dark Urge, apparently.

He's a Wood Half-Elf. How? Why? Not a clue.

In his early 30s (I debated whether to include Blood in BG events and yes)

Roux is not his name, it's the nickname one of his foster siblings gave him.

Was raised by many foster families. The one he remembered when Shadowheart healed him a little too hard what not the first or the only one. Some died by The Urge, some threw him out for being a creepy kid.

He was not as much creepy as hugely developmentally delayed due to the lack of consistent care and education. Which made even Sceleritas concerned - the Father needed a healthy, strong and smart spawn, not this.

He ended up with a family of Lathander worshippers for the longest time. He had a home, he had siblings, he was if not loved but cared for and educated. He learned to smile, laugh, hug, sing, love.

He never got higher than INT 10 mentally, but showed a knack for music and was taught instruments. Gameplay-wise he passed a lot of History and Religion checks - he learned most of those things through folk songs and prayers.

Lathander worship was not forced on him, he was free to choose. Everything felt wrong, but since he's half-elf he addressed Corellon when he had to. (it's the first thing he does on the Nautiloid in the game, so...)

Sceleritas took him away the day he came of age. There was the first murder spree after that. It was mostly The Urge, he couldn't remember half of it even before the lobotomy.

Orin hated him before she met him. She hated him even more when she met him. She was groomed to be the Chosen since childhood. Now that sorry fucker who couldn't murder shit without his butler guiding him or The Urge directly controlling him is suddenly her superior. (And constantly humming some stupid folk songs, urghhh!) Outrageous, even I agree.

Sceleritas never let Roux stay out of the Temple too long because it made The Urge weaker and let him resist it. One of the things that kept Roux out of a Temple for extended periods of time is when he started consorting with Lord Gortash. The Urge was getting weaker, Orin was getting stronger, you know the rest.

As for my Durgetash - well, I love and support all the dark and disturbing takes on that! - but in Roux's case it was whatever was left of the ginger fluffball behind The Dark Urge and whatever was left of the real Enver behind Lord Gortash desperately falling for each other. Roux fell for a passionate inventor and a visionary - brilliant mind, dubious ethics as they come - he saw in those rare moments Gortash forgot about politics and focused on the purely creative aspects of his work. Their mutual dynamic being "I could fall in love with you. - Don't you fucking dare!" They pretended it was mostly sexual, but that's a story for another post.

[gin-draws]

Hey! Sorry I didn't see these forever, but it's totally something I've been meaning to address and I just haven't had words for a while.

Firstly: fuck terfs.

The rest is long so it’s under the cut:

Having JKR alive and running around spewing hate has definitely not helped my love for the series. She uses money that we gave her to fuel her hateful bullshit, and to actively attack not just the trans community, but whatever issue she disagrees with in the UK. It hurts as someone that grew up putting myself into this world to have the creator openly using her power and influence to go after other marginalized people.

Even before JKR started openly being horrible I had worked hard to overlook my discomfort with stuff in the series (there's a lot of problematic stuff that 10 year old me could overlook but 32 year old me can't lol). A big part of me getting past that was just making her world my own through my art. I loved the community I found in the fandom on tumblr. I loved the people I could interact with over a shared interest and something that brought us all joy. Especially other creators that made the world their own.

Over time though, engagement kind of fell off on tumblr. (Where the reblogs at.. am I right?) And slowly I went from being able to ignore negative comments here and there because of the good interactions, to being worn out by the growing overwhelming negativity. People act like they can just demand things from creators and we somehow owe it to fandom to do what they specifically want.

Want that character to be white? Draw them yourself.

(Making characters bipoc brings out a shocking amount of anger from people for no reason but racism...)

I had tried to make the story I'd grown up loving into something that made me happy. I made the cast diverse because I grew up surrounded by all sorts of cultures and religions and it made my world a lot bigger. I sometimes played around with my own gender identity through my art, and it brought me a lot of joy. (Sirius was a fun playground for getting through a LOT of my own shit). But it brought out a lot of vitriol, and over time I just got tired of it.

I mostly stopped posting art because now it's something I do for me. My own characters and stories where nobody could send anon messages telling me "x should actually be white because---" I put a lot of time and love into my work and if it doesn't make me happy, I lose interest. Doesn’t mean I stopped drawing, it’s just not fanart as much anymore.

(I draw a LOT lol)

I miss the story I grew up loving a lot. But I can't actively put money in JKR's pockets, which distanced me from the series. A lot of my interaction with the community became a little too negative to deal with. And so over time I drifted away. It makes me sad to have strayed from that world, but it just became a little too toxic for me.

It still brings me a lot of joy seeing the positive comments, and people appreciating my old art means a lot. But I kind of moved on for myself, and now I don't have to worry about hateful comments about canon and race when I post my dnd characters lol.

I’ll probably be moving hp art I’m not happy with anymore over to my old hp side blog instead of deleting it, but as an artist and creative I’ve moved on to my own characters and stories. (If I open up commissions and people liked my interpretations of the characters, I would love nothing more than to draw desi Harry, or black Hermione, or Sirius not giving a fuck about gender. Lmao)

[black-suns-rim]

Oc interactions

I know I've done a post similar to this in the past, but why not make another post like it again since I can't sleep and I have some funny oc stuff floating around in my head? These might be longer interactions, but not long enough to make a short story out of them.

And of course I have to start it off with everyone's favorite old fart prune, Peepa Roach

Peepa: -staring at the wall-

Kahn'shu: -looks at the wall, looks at him, looks back that the wall-

Kahn'shu: -disapointment in his voice- why?..

Peepa: because it's funny and this place has been dull. Plastering one of these on the wall gets people's attention. I don't care what kind of attention, what I do care though is their expression appon seeing it

Kahn'shu: -under his breath- you're a literal child...

Peepa: huh?! You saying something about me?!

Kahn'shu: -puts his hand on his shoulder- I said its time for breakfast

Peepa: ooo, can't wait to throw up the disgusting sluge they have for me this time

☆

Black Momba: get up. I didn't hit you that hard

Nomad: -being dramatic to get out of sparing- I can't breathe! Everything hurts! I feel so cold!

Black Momba: -not falling for his dramatization- I will make sure everything hurts before your training is over. Then I will give you an ice bath and make you stay in it till all the ice has melted. I'll also have to tell Kub that you'd be too much in pain to join him today.

Nomad: -gets up- nevermind, I'm suddenly better

Black Momba: -smacks him on the back of his head-

Nomad: ow! What was that for?!

Black Momba: your dramatic ass.

Nomad: -sighs- with all due respect mom, why do I even have to train if I'm better than everyone in my age group? Better than most of my teachers?

Black Momba: until you beat me in training, you still have a lot to learn. It is one thing to be better than everyone else, but it is another thing to be arrogant because you are better than everyone else. -swings her combistick at him-

Nomad: -dodges. Runs at her with his combistick and jumps in the air to attack her-

Black Momba: -punches him in the gut-

Vic: no! No, no! We won't be doing that!

Nomad: -falls to the ground, gasping for air-

Black Momba: arrogance gets you killed. That is many young hunter's fatal mistake. The mistake of my brothers during our chiva... do not be arrogant. Keep yourself humble or you will get humbled either by me or someone else. -grabs Nomad by the arm and pulls him up to his feet-

Nomad: -coughing- noted...

☆

《Dnd party hiking up a mountain train, being led by an elf》

Jas: you know, I could just push that elf off of the ledge right now with my telekinesis and make it look like he just slipped and fell to his death...

Raakz: that is horrible!... Do it.

Vic: no! No, no! We won't be doing that!

Jas: why? That light skin over there spat on me and he is an elf. No one cares about elves.

Vic: ....

Vic: are you racist towards elves?...

Jas: yeah. You just noticed? I fucking hate those pricks. They think they're so much better than everyone else.

Raakz: plus, that elf cheated us out of 50 pieces of good last night.

Jas: yeah, that too. Blamed us for cheating and had us kicked out of the tavern last night

Vic: is that why you guys were at the inn so late?... you know what, I don't think I even want to know what you two were up to knowing you.

Jas: -sighs- oh to see that elf fall to his death...

Raakz: how much you wanna bet that I can get him distracted enough to fall?

Jas: mmmh... 60 gold.

Raakz: alright

Vic: no!

☆

Puffball: -is flying around the realms of sky, looking for a place to nap-

Puffball: -finds a nice place in the vault of knowledge and lays on a pile of memory lanterns-

Ziyigiho: -retuens to his studying space and finds puffball sleeping on his research-

Ziyigiho: ...you got to be kidding me... hey! Small one, get off of my lanterns. -nudges puffball-

Puffball: -continues sleeping-

Ziyigiho: -sighs and mutters- I swear it's always the chibis that sleep in the most uncomfortable places... -moves puffball off of the lanterns and places them on a stone beach close by-

Puffball: -wakes up and looks at Ziyigiho-

Ziyigiho: no... don't do it, I know what you're thinking. Don't do it!

Puffball: -starts honking like crazy-

☆

Nomad and Raakz belongs to @thenomadclan

Vic belongs to @queenlybeastly

[viksalos]

since coming to terms with being neurodivergent i've been making more of an effort to connect with my ND community both online and irl and it's been great; like genuinely lifesaving. that said there's two ND friendships i haven't really made any effort to rekindle, in part probably due to conflicting needs and conflicting social info, and idk what to do about it. i don't think(?) these people follow me here but if you are and you read this, idk message me? otherwise would love some outside input cus i'm realizing i'm not great at knowing when i'm in a situation that's probably gonna go bad for me lol

so the first guy basically got kicked out of our dnd group for trying to take it over from the dm more or less; he was talking to me a lot before this and i think he thought i was on his side in his plan but i kinda was trying to tell him that everybody involved was probably fixating on this too much lol... on top of this some friends have stated he has boundary issues with them, but some other friends in the same group are able to maintain a friendship with him just fine, which is weird.

anyways we hung out irl about a year after the blowup and he was saying he learned he likes affectionate touch(?) since then, whereas i didn't know at the time that i HATE being touched without warning lol. so at some point he pats me on the head and i reflexively say "be careful, i bite!" cus i thought it would be a way to jokingly tell him to back off without hurting his feelings. i guess he took it as like a furry(?) flirting(?) thing and leaned in like INCHES from my face and said "oh DO you?" with like a :3 expression which of course freaked me out even more. i kept it together until he left and then kinda had a crying meltdown, and was so ashamed at the magnitude of my reaction without (at the time) having any explanation for it that i kind of just haven't talked to him since, even tho he still comments on my posts on other socials so i know he wants to stay connected :/

second person is kind of similar in terms of group dynamics. they're someone i met on twitter; they're an extremely eloquent music reviewer and i related a lot to their tweets about mental health and such. i rt'd one of those tweets and we got to talking over DMs and bonding about how much our in-laws hate us and stuff like that (cus apparently in-laws fucking hating you just for being inexplicably weird is a common autistic experience lmao)

that said about half of their other tweets are like, goofy grossout horny jokes, which (being aspec myself) i thought were just kinda silly and paid no mind to. well turns out the "horny all the time" thing wasn't really a joke, and they were allegedly sexting(?) and soliciting nudes(?) from a bunch of other women and femmes on twitter who didn't want them to, and i feel like maybe the only reason they didn't do this to me was because they knew i was married? at the same time it seems like some of those instances were misunderstandings and/or misreadings of social signals on their part and have been forgiven, but i dont know if they ALL were yknow? so now that section of twitter more or less doesn't interact with them, and i also have kept my distance even though, once again, they still comment on my posts

idk what to do lol. like is it worth keeping these friendships if i feel like i understand why they fell apart and the issues could probably now be resolved with clear boundaries/communication? or should i just take everybody's word that i probably should not be around these people lol

[sawyingthroughthewasteland]

Sawyer Lockwood’s Backstory pt. 1

Hi! It’s me again, once again trying to explain this bitch’s entire story. There’s a lot, and normally I either have it all organized in a long bullet list or pinned in DMs to my co-author but alas- I feel like everyone should know his story at this point given I’ll probably never finish every single fic I want to write sadly. Ah well, I’ll at least try to make his story somewhat understandable. If this shit is too long for you and you want to speedrun my story, his master post for reference is here. 

Pre-Fallout (Note: NOT pre-war)

Yeah so maybe a year or two before I fell in love with fallout, I had a beloved dnd character that I played as in a campaign where I worked heavily with the DM and helped sometimes with worldbuilding. His name was Sawyer Belmont and was an oath of devotion paladin. His backstory is a bit complicated as with all my OCs that I’m able to hyperfixate on for more than a few months but long story short- in his past was a high ranking demonic warlock. Something happened and a year before the campaign started he woke up in a small town, heavily scarred with absolutely no memory of who he was with a small voice in his head. His voice was a demon named Zariel (no, not that one. I literally googled ‘demon names’ and chose one, literally months later WotC released Baldur’s Gate so fuck me ig). Said demon was essentially the only thing that kept him alive but he quickly strived to stay humane despite his circumstances and prevent Zariel from ever taking over again. 

How does this relate to Sawyer Lockwood?  Well the campaign was ended abruptly and so I was never able to finish his story which,,, was a big blow to me as a person who had written a ton for him. To cope, I used his name when it came to video games in his memory and almost as a way to try to finish his story? I guess? Used him for Elder Scrolls, Skyrim, Dragon Age throughout the pandemic and when I started Fallout, I walked in expecting to play as him. Yeah I’d have to fuck with his backstory to make him fit but I plugged in his name, tried my best to make him look like old Sawyer did and off I went with a high CHA and STR build. 

And fucking hated melee. 

I love sniping, always have since borderlands so um,,, I eventually had him have some character changes then,,, then the fo4 story made him change more then,,, I min-maxed his SPECIAL and completely redid how he looked and,,, then I joined a server with others who had OCs and,,, 

welp. Here he is! Absolutely nothing like the OG Sawyer but we love him anyways. I suppose in the end in a way the old paladin Sawyer got to live on (I mean Lockwood does eventually become a,,, paladin,,, hm)?

Sawyer’s Parents

I won’t go too into detail because honestly it doesn’t effect him all too much/ he doesn’t remember a lot of it- but here we go. 

So Sawyer’s dad was a guy name Jared Lockwood (what? no. I’m not reusing characters what are you talking about -shoves RDO OC under rug-) who was a pretty successful horse breeder and jockey! His beloved horse was a thoroughbred named Brisket and retired from his racing days not long after he had met his wife and they were expecting a child. It wasn’t a lot of money that he made, but enough to buy them a small secluded ranch on top of a mountain in the middle of West Virginia where they raised sheep and chickens. The little bar room in the basement of said ranch house is actually dedicated to previous racehorses and are where he displayed his trophies from past races and such. 

However, when Sawyer was maybe 5ish, as I write with the 1950s timeline version of fallout because I like writing stuff from that era don’t @ me, WW2 began. His father left for the navy, promising to return to his wife and kid after a few years and- yeah he went MIA somewhere in the ocean. Sawyer’s family never found out what really happened, but a good guess has to do with U-boats. Sawyer was fucking heartbroken, he loved his father and had been really close to him during the five years he had with him and was certainly quieter from then on.   

His mother, meanwhile, was Shay Lockwood. She’s straight from Ireland and a often was the anchor for her aloof husband. She was a very down to earth lady, loved farming and tending to their animals- but often was maybe a bit... harsh on Sawyer. Certainly didn’t help that she came from a catholic background and well... yeah

Sawyer’s Childhood 

Sawyer was an only child, and for the most part between daily chores- loved to study. He was a huge fucking nerd. His bedroom was constantly covered in sketches of his designs for machines, tools, and buildings. Additionally, growing up he stayed very close with his father’s horse, Brisket- often riding him to school and reading to him when he was younger. 

Growing up, due to his home’s secluded nature he never really had any close friends? Aside from a girl named Nora, who he was quite close with. In high school they’d actually dated once but while discovering their differing sexualities- things didn’t shake out but they still remained close. 

For the most part, he studied his heart out for all of high school and strived to place himself in a good engineering school to continue his studies. Unfortunately though around the time of getting ready for college- his mother developed cancer. This was rough for him for multiple reasons- she was the only family he was really aware of and not only that, they were in a rough standing with each other when things began to pick up and she got sicker and sicker. As Sawyer was slowly discovering himself in their small town, it was quickly becoming evident that he was most definitely queer- something that his mother disapproved of heavily. When she passed- it was without ever their relation ever being mended and Sawyer still kicks himself about it even a good 200 years later. 

He delayed college for two years or so afterwards, taking care of his farm and struggling to figure out what to do. He was the only one left, who knows what would happen to his childhood home if he ever left for too long. 

College Years 

With a heavy heart, eventually he decided to take a leap of faith and have a go at college again. Due to the gap years, he struggled getting financial support and was only able to make it through two years of civil engineering before his funds dried up. He was getting desperate at this point and in a hail Mary- joined the Navy for the G.I. Joe money when the Big War came around. 

Congrats on making it this far! Now onto the fun shit :)

Bootcamp arc (ft. Baron)

Long story short- Sawyer fucking hated being in the military lol, and for a while they hated him too. He was often subjected to beat ups and rude comments just because.. well he... he twink. It was during one of these beatings that someone swooped in and promptly handed his bully’s asses to them- a man named Baron Teague. 

He’s my friend’s OC and honestly most of the stuff I write these days is between these two (affectionately called ‘Bawyer’). I have no idea if she’ll ever make her own tumblr and write about him on here but I’ll try to give a long story short for him. He’s from a military family down in North Carolina, joined the air force fresh out of high school and when he met Sawyer, was well on his way to officer school. (why were they at the same base? story reasons that’s why) 

The two quickly hit it off, Baron often lending the man a hand and Sawyer questioning the tiny sliver of heterosexuality he had left in him every time the buff guy ran by in silkies. Eventually it uh,,, turned into a romance between the two when they had the chance between drills, then Sawyer took him home one break and Baron started inviting him to holidays with his family back in NC and well, you get the picture. They gay. I’ll link the fics when I get the chance, but most described above has been written lol. 

Lancer Program 

Okay so this is where I kinda went crazy with homebrewing but whatever its my writing world I do what I want with my toys you know

So. In my uuuh universe? I guess? There was a program pre-Liberty Prime. This program was bleeding edge technology, taking the grand scale of Liberty Prime and the intelligence of the brightest AI at the time and combined it with the maneuverability and skills of a human pilot much like the power armor. It was a super secret thing and was a very small department and in order to get in required vigorous tests of intelligence and creativity rather than the usual strength. 

Pacific Rim- like with a splash of Titanfall and Neon Genesis, these mechs would have a neural link with their pilots and with the pilot and AI combined were able to carry out complex and highly effective maneuvers. This was of course, assuming that the two got along well and the pilot was quick enough to be able to fix any coding issues on the fly with merely their voice commands. Super vigorous, super high tech, yada yada yada..

With a whooping STR of 2 and an INT of 10, Sawyer gladly applied and made it into the program. He was Lancer Unit 02 and excelled in his training. 

The AI later becomes their own character but that will have to come in a different post, which will be linked here when I get to it ;)

It wasn’t until it was almost time for deployment that Baron finally found out about the Lancer Program and Sawyer’s involvement in it.

Quickie Won’t Hurt ;)

Almost forgot lol, so not long after serving some time Sawyer definitely suspected he’s gay. He wasn’t entirely sure though and so in a series of poor decisions while drunk with his close friend Nora,,,, they uh,,,, yep. 

He didn’t find out about Shaun until looong after he’d come home from the war. Lol whoops haha god Nora I am so fucking sorry 

On the Field    

Around the same time that Stg. Baron was deployed to Alaska was the same time that Sawyer’s program was finally being deployed onto the field in [redacted]. The two had a heartfelt goodbye, swapped dogtags affectionately (this will be important in Baron’s story), before going their own separate ways.

The Lancer Program, with how small that it was and how far they were being sent, all loaded into a giant aircraft carrier and sailed off into the sea. 

They didn’t make it far. 

Somewhere in the Pacific, the ship was hit and sank so quickly there wasn’t enough time to usher everyone to lifeboats and almost all lives were lost on that ship along with most Lancer technology (hence why most prewar and ‘modern’ tech isn’t nearly as advance as the Lancer Program’s yet some ideas would be carried over to the making of Liberty Prime and PA suits). 

So uh, Sawyer. As a person who had just left his really... only friend, had been bored out his mind during the trip and did what most do when bored- and had taken a nice nap in his mech that he was neutrally linked to.

Woke up to alarms blazing, the AI panicking, and the entire ship hundreds of feet underwater and his entire squad around him dead and floating in the water around him. 

He doesn’t have much memory about how he even managed to get out of that situation because it thoroughly fucked him up. 

Baron meanwhile dropped everything when a truck rolled up with a compressed and crushed Lancer Unit 3 on it, being ordered to destroy it to preserve government secrets. 

Parsons State Insane Asylum    

For the following year after that, Sawyer spent his entire time in Parsons as a broken man. He’d been moved to Boston after his record had listed only Nora and Baron at the closest he had to family. With Baron deployed in Alaska, he was sent to be near Nora has he recovered while she was dealing with her own problems. 

The last time Baron saw Sawyer before the nukes fell was the asylum, hardly able to speak a word and shaken to his core from what he saw down there (fic about it to be linked here). It certainly didn’t help that this was also the time that Nora couldn’t hide her pregnancy anymore and her family started asking Questions. 

The follow year was a blur for him, stumbling through treatment and slowly becoming somewhat functional again. During that time he could vaguely recall marrying Nora and them settling on a house in a place called Sanctuary but he wasn’t super lucid until close the time that the nukes fell. Link about the nukes actually falling linked here. 

Because this post is hella fucking long, the second part will be linked here! Hope y’all enjoy it so far and as always, feel free to send asks about him or me :)   

[the-flower-herald]

Okay so. I made background info about my OCs because I fell in love with my DND character and I wanted to give him a wife. And now I have this:

Behekst Zosimos

Behekst meaning "hexed" or "cursed" in Dutch. Named so because his mother didn't want him, and her pregnancy was spent ill and resentful. Zosimos comes from Zosimos of Panopolis, one of the first and greater alchemists.

He's half Wood Elf, half Dark Elf- which is another reason his mother hated him. She mocked his red eyes and the silver in his hair from birth. He has a darker copper skin and jet black hair, save for the streak of silver.

He's incredibly strong physically and magically. Standing at 5'5 tall and with an unusually stocky build for an Elf, he did get his fair share of stares and bullying. Definitely has little dog syndrome. While he's loud and can be selfish, he has a big heart and he's really stealthy and graceful.

He's an expert farmer and hunter. His produces and fresh meat made him the love of the town when he grew to a mature age and opened his own shop. Not to mention his baking and cooking is phenomenal. He grew to love homemaking for himself.

He eventually left town to settle somewhere new and start living for himself. Along the way, he learned even more plant magic. His communication with animals got better too, and he found a love in fungi.

On his travels he had many scrapes, his small size leading many to think he'd be an easy target to mug, but he kicked ass and earned scars along the way.

His most noticeable though is a large set of teeth marks on the right side of his face. He tried to hug a dire wolf. While he can communicate with animals, he still hasn't learned that not all of them are friendly.

Behekst LOVES shiny things. His wrists are adorned in leather and metal bracelets and he wears a few necklaces. He even has balsa wood in his stretched ears. He is very easily charmed and distracted by bits and baubles.

He has major resting bitch face, but he's really a chaotic softie. He spends the majority of his time spaced out either daydreaming about his garden or his wife. He's got a big mouth but a warm and clear, almost calm voice. Until he's pissed. Fuck with him and he uses his Intimidation. Guy can pull off an excellent Smaug impression in terms of deepness.

He has sharper teeth and nails, but with his druid skills can alter his features as he pleases for a set amount of time. He likes to go for a dragon look, or a snake mostly.

Speaking of his wife, the man is like Gomez levels of obsessed with her. I have a whole sheet for her too, to post. He goes absolutely feral for that woman. While in a straight relationship, he's pansexual. Before her, he'd sleep with any consenting adult with a pulse. He just likes making people feel good.

Which is also why he loves to make food. His love language is trying to feed you, or teach you how to garden for yourself. And books. If you get a gift from him, it's books and food.

[glossolali]

Guys...... the start of the chroma conclave arc.....

spoilers for C1 and TLOVM Season 2 under the cut

- 4 dragons..... 4 ancient dragons....

- AC OF 22??? and first attack is an AOE 66 POISON DAMAGE?????

- MATT'S HAND SWEEPING AWAY 15 TOWNIE MINIS ACROSS THE MAP IN ONE HIT CAUSE THEY DIED??

- WHAT ABOUT GILMORE??? AND EVERYONE LOOKS AT VAX IM FUCKED UP.. did he die from the first attack?? dear god... I hate not knowing

- and it's all for 4k gold LMAO I'm.......

- Oh this is terrible.... so many people are dying... I felt physically ill when the frozen townsfolk cracked and fell apart when they tried to heal them

- the twins!!!!! they're so scared noooo don't cry babies "do not go far from me"!!!! I NEEDED THE CONTEXT for that fuckin quote but now I'm in pain

- THE GIRLS ARE FIGHTING!! it's insane how quickly they fell apart and stopped trusting each other

- Matt is a genius for giving them a Wish at this level it's nuts how much desperation borne of a disaster and an unstable power corrupts so quickly

- Oh no.. you know it's bad when Keyleth gets that angry.....

- Oh thank GOD Allura is here... these kids need an adult in the room to calm everything down

- ALLURA?? WHAT DOES SHE MEAN IT'S HER FAULT...

- BYRODEN??? BYRODENDNND?? Thordak killed their mom FUCK ME UP I have chills

- THE FUCKING PRIMORDIAL FIRE GIANT.................... Holy. shit. ok ok kiki thought it was her fault.... they scared me omg I feel lightheaded lol

- Oh no.... the twins want revenge.. I mean of course they do but fuck I hate that for them

- Fire Ashari got completely annihilated haha... kiki :(

- I feel sick lol shit just keeps getting worse I'm glad the episode finished there

Post E39:

Travis: You.. massacred people

Matt: Yeah :D I just destroyed something that I made it feels really weird

Post E40:

Matt: DnD is fun guys! :D

[blysse-and-blunder]

in lieu of american thanksgiving...

...i've had food and fellowship with some very good people this week!

4pm, sunday, nov 21, 2021

reading currently like ninety percent of the way done with zen cho's sorcerer to the crown, and i really have enjoyed this one. the author manages to imitate the speech patterns of the regency/austen style, with all of those subordinate clauses and "i would not have you think that i was so humble as to..." layers extremely adeptly, without simultaneously causing all of the characters to sound the same. it's a bit bridgerton, a bit his majesty's dragon, and a ton jonathan strange and mr. norell, with the magicians of england organized into the royal society of unnatural philosophy-- but there's just enough that's different from susana clarke's world-building to not seem exactly derivative, even though the references to fairy and the way english magic is studied is familiar. his majesty's government is trying to jockey with france under napoleon by fucking around with smaller powers in south east asia which england would very much like to control, little accounting for the power of a matriarch from one of those smaller kingdoms, meanwhile english gentlewomen are forbidden from training as thaumaturges (they haven't the constitution for it) and our heroes are interested in challenging that. magic, race, gender, and a london season-- it's a good combo. i still don't love the name 'prunella', and her character seems to be mostly an assemblage of traits rather than a cohesive, you know, person, but it's been fun.

listening i had to check back through my ilcb posts from this fall to check if i'd mentioned this already and i don't thiiiiink i have? but i stumbled on to coco and the butterfields through my spot of fy discover weekly back in like, september, and fell in love at first listen with their song 'five bells.'

the alternating voices, both the vocalists' own unique timbre/styles and the alternating lyrics, are very satisfying, and then when they layer up? 'five bells are ringing' / 'crack in my own window', plus the higher line in the background, ugh it's warm and resonant and good.

watching in an effort to branch out in my watching a bit, i gave a quick try to the netflix show 'norsemen,' which is a half hour comedy about vikings? i'm actually very here for workplace comedy / sitcom-style takes on historical periods, so i may give it another try, but there was more initial gross-out humor than i wanted (which is saying something bc i don't mind a mcelroy level of poop/butt/dick jokes) and i also sort of hate that there are only two, and very shallow, female characters so far.

watched a bit more succession with my housemate (we got to the new mexico 'family therapy' retreat and hoooo boy this is a Show), and have reached the beginning of the end in the untamed rewatch-- we've just got guanyin temple left to go!! i'm trying to emotionally prepare myself and my friends-- contemplating finally reading the novel version of these scenes, which i still haven't done despite reading most of the novel this summer (i liked having More to Look Forward To, in a way, and also the long-ass exposition dumping was wearing me out a bit). stay tuned for dec 3, when it All Ends. playing back to my original dnd campaign and, more importantly, my original character after having a roughly six month period during which we all rolled new characters who were diametrically opposed to our originals-- and it fits like an old glove, she's so good, my late 40s-50s human mom-bard with a courtier/spy past, it was fun to play an insufferable tween but this is like being home. we're off to free a town from some raiders, and we gathered way more allies than the dm planned so this battle may be...a little tougher as a result? looking forward to it. making as part of the build-up to the end of the untamed, and to commemorate friendsgiving this week, i did some extremely unnecessary baking (while technically on a zoom call with one of my faculty advisers as she tried to give us dissertation completion tips. baking wasn't on the list)-- apologies for the repeat pic to those of you who have seen this but i am inordinately proud of how it turned out!!

also i will note-- @lionrabbit was asking if it was lotus root and rib, and while that might actually be delicious (in the vein of like a steak and ale pie??), i haven't attempted anything so creative. this is just an apple pie.

working on love to stagger to the finish line of one set of grading the day after being handed a whole new set of assignments! luckily i don't have a tutorial to lead on tues, so i can...grade then? and the lecture that morning is happening at a MUSEUM (!!) so, if nothing else, the novelty is worth the upheaval of my routine. i haven't made any changes to my diss proposal since my friends workshopped it more than a week ago, fuck, but i've also been socializing and going to bed early and you know what, it's fine. it's fine.

[your-turn-to-role]

This is coming from a place of genuine confusion....but why does a sect of the fandom dislike Marisha so much?? Like, I haven't seen it for ANY of the other players. Is it a "wife/girlfriend of the DM" complex, because I've seen that before. Idk, I don't get it, and no amount of googling has made me understand lol.

yeahhhhhhh

okay, to preface, i absolutely disagree with all of the marisha hate, i think she's a great player and is really unfairly treated

but a couple reasons why this tends to be a thing:

1) just plain old regular misogyny, yeah. all the girls on cr get it to an extent, but it's stronger with marisha - the idea that dnd is inherently a man's game and therefore no woman could be good at it is pervasive even in this fandom, not outright, but in subtle things, like how people give the guys a lot more leeway to do dumb shit than the girls, and on dnd posts in the past i've seen comments like "this reads like how laura and marisha would describe dnd while their husbands facepalm in the background", which like... isn't really harmful on the surface, but i have a hard time imagining matt and especially travis ever facepalming at their wives genuine ideas? like if it's obviously meant to be something ridiculous and not taken seriously, sure, but otherwise, that subtle implication that they see travis as a better player than laura is just way off. (and matt has more dnd experience than marisha but like... she's still a very good player)

2) the keyleth instinct. so here's the thing about campaign one and the characters they chose to play - the majority of the cast played within their comfort zone. they branched out a lot for c2, and obviously they as people aren't identical to their vox machina counterparts, but they're not too far away either. liam's stated he irl would be a rogue, taliesin likes playing intelligent edgy teenage assholes bc he was one, laura is a bit more goofy than vex but she still thinks a lot the same, scanlan is very sam, travis is obviously a lot smarter than grog but he still fell very in line with the kind of character travis is comfortable playing and the things he wants to explore.

but marisha chose a character in campaign one who was completely the opposite of her natural self. marisha is confident and very take no shit and a natural leader, keyleth is awkward and shy and doubts herself and overthinks things and has really bad luck in basically everything she ever tries. and people watched campaign one and assumed all of those traits were just the way marisha was. if you aren't drawn to keyleth as a character, it's relatively easy to find ways to hate her (which again circles back to the misogyny a bit). they see keyleth constantly fuck up due to awkwardness and think "marisha doesn't know how to play the game". they see keyleth be a mess of a person socially and think "wow marisha's not a very good actor if she can't handle this", completely ignoring the fact that she is acting very well and it's proven by the fact that they think keyleth is marisha

(and while she still gets hate as either character, the keyleth hate was far worse than the beau hate)

3) people just, not getting what she's doing. i wasn't in the fandom for the early days of cr2, but i have friends who were, and they've said there were circles of the fandom where everything marisha did was in question, even people not believing beau was a lesbian when it's made obvious in episode one, because what if she's doing it on purpose as a scam? and like, to broaden that a bit, i think marisha's characters and their decisions get misread a lot. i personally happen to find both beau and keyleth very relatable, so i usually get where they're coming from (mostly, bowlgate i was more on caleb's side there, but i still don't think she deserves hate for it), but to people who don't, or just haven't put effort into trying to understand marisha's characters, then between keyleth's awkwardness and beau's abrasiveness i think the majority of what they pick up from marisha's characters is negative

which is a shame, because they're both really good, well thought out, interesting characters.

4) this is going into my own meta for a bit, but, something i've found about marisha's characters is they're quite down to earth and very easily the viewpoint character of the group, in a way? like obviously it's an ensemble cast, but like... let's take keyleth. campaign one starts and ends with her. the very first adventure is triggered by her leaving home for the first time, to start her aramente. she's led a sheltered life up to this point, she doesn't know the world she's walking into - so we learn about this fantasy world at the same time she does. she has the most linear and easy to follow development, her aramente spans most of the story, and once it's done things only get more centered on her. she's now a leader of her people, she's fulfilled her destiny, but that means she lives so long all her worst fears are coming true - that she'll have to spend the rest of her life alone. how did we learn this was her biggest fear? because she's been scared since the start of losing vax, but the reason she has him at all is she resolved to not let that fear control her. and then as the endgame comes in, she suddenly has to face that head on. vax has a week left to live. barely two days after, they run into sprigg - someone who lived so long after all his friends died that he's lost himself, forgotten them, become a hermit of a person who's just living because he's got nothing better to do - everything keyleth believes she will become, and fears so much. but he proves she can still choose to remember them, and choose to live in their absence, not just survive. keyleth is the one who seals away vecna, who's grown so much in her power since that little scared druid girl, she can banish a god. and our story ends with her, and her father, and a raven - she's moving on, she's living, she's thriving, but she'll never forget.

if i was gonna write out vox machina's story as a novel, there is no character who would better suit being the protagonist than her

it's a bit less strong with beau, but she's still one of the more relatable characters, she's a human, who had a rebellious teenage years because of shitty overbearing parents, she's not a magic user, she's from the country we start in (and doesn't have a dark dangerous mystical secret like caleb and veth), a lot of the big turning points in the story have had her take the lead, it's the relative mundanity that gives a contrast to and lifts up the others, while still being a highly interesting character in her own right. beau is a grounding force of the mighty nein.

i personally like those kinds of characters, but i've noticed in almost all fandoms with a main character and then a group of side characters, the main character is rarely anyone's fave, overlooked in favour more (subjectively) interesting side characters, but then because the story puts the focus on the main character, people get sick of them and start to hate them? and in this form of storytelling, there is no main character, but people sorta do that to those kinds of characters anyway. and in addition to all the other marisha stuff, that probably contributes

[fixing-bad-comic-art]

Damn can't believe you cut off early to avoid boring me after I ASKED you about the setting. I want the juicy details! -Foos crimes anon

sgshahshhs Ok!! then welcome to part two Whiplash edition, for those just joinimg us go read the other dnd lore post first!

same anti zen restrictions apply even tho this is all stuff she already knows,

So, lets start strong The unkillable king? did you notice how all of his big scary features (burning castles, necromancy, and mind control) were all things his generals specialized in?

thats bc hes done pretty much Nothing. bc hes effectively five years old, trapped in his forest, and the literal fallen god of decay.

The admiral, who is called Mel, woke up this old god bc she just Really hated her boss. Like she could have just taken a nap, had a good meal and then rain down so much fire on the bastard that his ashes are ashes. but she didn't because he was planning on waking The Old God in order to unleash him on the people of coltonia. and mel said "Hm! fuck that." and woke him up herself and set him up as a puppet. Mel is the brains!! She has a bob cut bc she accidentally set her hair on fire, but i Promise you shes the brains. but she didn't wake him alone, she had help from this dragon called villar.

Decay is usually called Everard bc while in disguise at a tavern that's just Barely within his circle he met a really cute bard and Panicked when the bard asked him his name. and obviously he didn't have one! he was either just Decay or the Boar King, so he Panicked and said the name of the author of the book he'd been reading. and then he fell a little in love with the bard, and then the bard stole his wallet.

And the Bard! Is! The! Interigator! he went to that tavern to play for a crowd he didn't mind charming. He can't play without charming everyone who hears bc hes both an incubus and the prince of the winter court! heir apparent! but he doesnt want to be and only found out less than two years ago at this point, on his 18th bday bc his adoptive mom sold her first child to the fucking queen of the winter court for the gift of music! she didn't think shed ever have to pay up but when she found out it was her or whatever baby she could find to call hers she started praying and begging and making deals with with whatever would listen. and one of the people who would listen was the demon lord Grazzt. who gave her one of his Many children just to see what would happen.

Anyways when he goes to the tavern there's this kinda boring looking guy? who Isnt charmed by him??? and when he trys to figure this guy out hes being all nice and sweet and he Knows this guy is into him? and Hes Not Charmed??? and then Babs trys his hellish charms, and this guy Still isnt charmed??? its like they just Bounced right off?????? and he panics bc this is the first person he can say for certain is immune to him and isnt just being nice and flirty bc they physically have to. and he falls a little in love?? he panics bc he Doesnt Know What To Do.

so he just steals the guys wallet and runs.

The inquisitor cant get through five words without having a nervous break down, and is just a little nerd whos Desperately in love with Bab's sister, and Tamm Absolutely returns his affections but they're both too nervy to actually move on it bc theyre friends! the four of them (Tamm, he identical sister Bamm, their adoptive brother Babs, and Ezekiel) are the single most notorious group of hired hands in all of coltonia??? so he cant Just Ask her bc that would ruin it Obviously.

and Those four work for a gang called the Jackalope. which is also the name of the pub/brothel the gang operates out of.

and the Jackalope is ran by Big Mama, a reclusive and mysterious woman whos perpetually being guarded by a man named Mole Hill. one of these people is a goliath, the other is a gnome. you can probably guess which is which.

and technically both babs and ezekiel are only on loan to the boar king but that changes after babs and everard get married for the second time.

and Vilar!! he was a Frequent john at the Jackalope while he was helping mel wake Everard bc he was trying to figure out what the fuck was going on. So he had his regular girl right? for an easy unwinding fuck, and she told him what nights shed be there bc hes respectful and tips well and its worth keeping him around. but one night he fucks up and asks for her when he Knows she won't be ther bc hes just Tired after chasing an arsonist around a forest all day. and before he can correct himself the girl at the desk is like Sure! she'll be right with you!.

and hes just "????" and then the girl shows up?? and they go back to the room and he Knows there's something up??? and tldr he spends a solid month trying to figured out whats going on with the shapeshifter who fills in for some of the sex workers.

anyways, hes also a bronze dragon whos in charge of making sure nobody enters coltonia from the west and has a grey render be calls his dog named anatomy. and his personality can be summed up as "bastard cat man who needs to fuck less" bc God Dammit does he have a lot of bastards.

and his arch nemesis is the gold dragon no name who blames him for the death of their son (which to be fair he blames himself for that too). she Is Hell Bent on murderizing his ass but they are too evenly matched so they're just stuck in perpetual war.

and there's other stuf but im Out Of Words.

[southern-belle-outcasts]

4, 5, and 20 mun views

Mun Views 

4. On your fandom. 

Which one lmao....um, well X-Men? Cool, a lot of the fandom to some degree is drawn cuz they can relate be they part of some type of minority group. Don’t see too many assholes, I think most of the jerks that were on here fell off during nippocalypse. There is a divide with the comic elitists vs xmcu and it’s dumb. I used to be an xmcu blog cuz I WANTED to read the comics but I was a broke ass college student who had literally no access to that, but I’d seen Wolverine and the X-Men, plus the movies that were out at the time. If I’d let those asses run me off, well, wouldn’t have continued to build my comic book collection (I’d already read Batman, Superman, Spider-Man, I’m talking specifically X-Men comics).

Arrowverse? I don’t follow many of the blogs, I have a select few I follow. My fandom experience is pretty much my friends with fairly similar views so I can’t speak on the fandom outside of the fact there’s a loooot of veiled hating on women of color under the guise of griping with the crappy writing. I try to avoid it. I don’t hold with Iris and Cecile hate, they’re good characters subjected to the writing of white men, what do you want.

Star Wars? NOPE. Hell naw. No thank you. Bye. I have no interest. I make it very clear this is a “the prequels are the shit, TCW is a fucking joke and trashes the characters, not!Star Wars mouse sequels are non-existent, the og EU is not legends it’s the only recognized canon” blog, and I’m this unapologetically. I have extremely strong opinions, I’ve literally been in the fandom since I was 6, I’ve spent hours reading EU content, visual dictionaries and encyclopedias, concept art of the movies books, comics, novelizations, etc. If you’re a stan of the other...stuff, I’ll probably say shit that will offend you and it’s probably for the best you don’t follow me cuz I’m not censoring these opinions, ever, at all. And for the love of all things holy, if you want to call R*ylo okay, or Anidala toxic, we meeting up behind Denny’s, yo.

Supernatural? Kinda sorta, considering I don’t link Nil and Farrar to any of the show canon besides using some of the monster lore. Like we don’t do the appropriation of native spirituality on this blog, so there’s no use of W*nd*g* cuz you’re not supposed to write or say that, like no. I have major problems with the show, that’s a mile and a half long, past season 5 it went downhill, they really should have left Swan Song as the finale. The queer baiting and bury the gays, the trash trash trash finale, the way any poc and female characters are handled, there’s so much oof. I stay away from it. Honestly kind of nice to see the SPN crowd was mostly quiet, it was RAMPANT when I first got on here, and there was a looot of drama. The way the extreme crowd of the fandom conducts themselves with the actors and stuff tells you a lot. Another nope. I prefer to stick to fandomless urban fantasy.

5. On exclusivity. 

If that’s someone’s jam, that’s cool. Doesn’t bother me. At one point I was exclusive to a few versions of characters. Not anymore, but I can understand how sometimes someone just clicks for you to the extent it rubs you wrong seeing a different version. It doesn’t stop me from writing with other people so I literally give no fucks and don’t see why anyone else should either.

20. On 'popular' blogs. 

Here’s where I piss a lot of people off, and I don’t really fucking care, as having at one point been an even more actively sought out blog back when the MCU was taking off in 2012-2014 and having tons of asks and thread requests, I can more than speak on what it’s like being a popular blog.Technically still am, you don’t have to take my word for it, just look in my thread tracker, and that’s not even all the threads cuz some are in drafts cuz they’re starters and I can’t add yet.

There’s nothing wrong with people enjoying your writing and following you. Awesome, good for you. It often proves to be a lot for people and I don’t like when I see people biting off more than they can chew but still pushing for more followers and asks and threads. Frankly, it’s really, really rude. I get wanting to make people happy, or wanting to try new threads and stuff, but you should also be reasonable with how much you can manage. If I see someone complaining about having too many drafts and asks and then not being able to write because of the pressure, but then daily pushing their promo or their wire or memes...and nothings coming of it...and they’re admitting they can’t get their muse to reply...then STOP. “You don’t owe anyone anything” means you don’t owe anyone respect and obligations that aren’t due.

When you decide to join a collaborative writing hobby, you’re still committing to your partners to write to some degree. Now if that means you’re going to be slow, and super minimal with which followers you actually interact with THAT IS FINE...as long as you have that communicated and make it very clear to the people who follow you they’re probably just following to be lurkers. But I can’t get with constantly pulling for interaction then within the same day the whole inbox is being dumped, drafts are being dumped, the same three people are the only ones ever getting a reply for the past three months, etc.

There’s been times I’ve said I can’t plot right now, there’s been weeks I bump all the memes in my queue further down so that they don’t post so I can catch up. I’m so secure with partners I don’t follow back unless I get my rules code sent in (newsflash: 9/10 I never see it). I never post a promo. I really don’t need to, if I see someone I really want to interact with on my dash, I’ll follow first, but I can’t in good conscious promote myself when I’m at a decent spot keeping up with a LOT. Sometimes I’m really glad I’m a multi with OCS and mostly female muses, it helps avoid ever reaching the point where I’m just getting too many followers to keep up with, but giving yourself a cut-off isn’t a bad thing people. Trying to do too much is.

There, I have successfully pissed off a ton of people, but I’m not taking it back. There’s way too much immaturity on this matter on here, and it’s really a litmus test of the people who HAVE been in group hobbies that are interdependent of cooperation of all members offline, and those who haven’t. “It’s my hobby” isn’t this get of of jail free card you get to wave everywhere when you want to ignore people. You can’t pull that in most hobbies that involve more than one person, whatever it may be, if it’s a DND group, rec sports, chess, whatever. This is my hobby too. I just probably take hobbies and commitment to other people to a more...respectful level. If I have real life, or physical issues, of course that takes priority, but here’s a little secret...we ALL, like 99% of the community, have some degree of mental health, nuerodivergence, jobs, home life, chronic physical issues. I want you to single me out the mun that doesn’t have any of that impacting their writing capabilities to some degree. Please, find them for me. You having those things doesn’t make you special and if you can’t communicate that it’s too much, you need the “flood of follows” from your promo circulating but can’t ever write...I’m just sighing over here.

If any of these opinions rub you wrong, I don’t mind you just unfollowing,that’s fine. No one is forcing you to remain. I strongly believe the people that don’t want to remotely take it seriously, and the people that do take it more seriously, should just keep to themselves, that way no one is getting offended by the other for how they choose to enjoy their hobby. You should enjoy it, goddamnit!!! But NOT at the expense of stringing other people along. Communication is kind of essential here, as much as people want to go “I’m too shy, BLOCK”, but y’all I have ADHD, RSD, social anxiety (I used to live in an anxiety attack it was so bad), and I still do my best to communicate with people even on uncomfortable topics. If I can manage, so can you. And if you CAN’T be mature...and communicate...then mayhaps stick to fanfic until you learn how.

[callyrose1986]

my reality is a fantacy

MY REALITY IS A FANTACY  

Its beginning of April and I've been hearing voices since my birthday last September, I can't say I had the best time of my life... I decided to type it all down of what I went through, let me break it down for you, one day around my birthday I decided to read a few tarot cards online and the more I did they showed the same outcome, that I was to meet my twin flame, twin soul or/and soul mate, not sure if it's all in one or if it's just one of these, that I'm not sure of, now for those of you who don’t know what that is a twin fames or the others twin flame is when one soul splits into two, not sure exactly what twin soul is other what it sounds like, seems to me it is the same thing like the twin flame, soul mate is just that, a mate for your soul, look it all up for yourself.  

For some odd reason I begin to hear voices of a women and she helped me get better at hearing them I can't say exactly what she did I can't remember, I have the worst memory anyway though this times of readings I figured out who my other flame was and I don’t know if it was fate or dumb luck but it was my celebrity crush.... Imagine that, I have no idea who or why it turned out to be him but I was constantly told that I could manifest my desires and welp.... take that as you may I have no idea myself what is truly going on in my life right now..... only the gods and answer that messed up bit of information, not that I'm a religious person I prefer to spiritual instead.  

I tried to contact him online his name was Tom Hiddlston, I had a crush on him since I first saw I'm in the superhero movies when he played Loki in the Thor, tall dark and handsome was my type, I then fell for him even more once I got to know the actor, well as much as I could get to know him behind the silver screen. Anyway, I was reading pictures from his hashtags on Instagram like you read tarot cards and then I would post a reply and put it in Tom’s @page and I would get something like a reply... I could hear him in my head too and then for some reason he told others it turned into something like a little game them who turned out to be the cast of avengers.

it went over pretty good on his side, but unfortunately on my side when I broke it to my mother.... I made one of  the biggest mistake I ever made...deciding to walk from my small town of Coulhurst all the way to the city of Lethbridge to go to chapters. Where I thought the tort card where hinting I would meat Tom, not that I actually though I would I just wanted to go, and they were egging me on to go, something else that I could inform you all about is that there is many different realities not just the one you live in and unfortunately that mean that there are many, many different versions of ourselves and unfortunately, I did not contact just my version of Tom Hiddlston but I contact all of the others two, I have no idea how I managed that... the one that came was not my Tom from my world but from another and that means I could not see him.  

I still don’t know if I have talked to the Tom from my world, I guess I won't know till I get the chance to meet him in person, if that ever happens of course, let's see... I died in other reality's more times than I could count, mainly because I can't remember, being stabbed in the back by a trickster god called Loki a few dozen times and I don’t mean from the Norse mythology I mean by the Loki from the marvel movies, ya because that’s a thing....  

Everything you watch is a window to another reality and dreams are something of the same, now there is more like I can put myself into movies and shows I watch and I can hear what the characters are thinking and saying, not to mention in the begging I thought whatever I do in my mind what actually happen in the other reality's I was thinking I was in, now I changed that it just everyone imagining it but not really having it happen, I did a lot of not so nice stuff and still do but at least it's not real, I was sent to hell a few times wish I know what heaven was like, think I got jipped on that one, worst thing I ever did really was sole chock from when I was at school and church, I did watch some porn that was not meant to be watch by anyone's eyes and played some pornographic games but I don’t think I'm meant to go to hell for it...  

Apparently the ‘devil’ just wanted someone on one time, I brought myself back to life as soon as I knew I was dead, well eventually sometimes, it was just tiering having to do that all the time, oh by the way I can do that bring myself back it along with anything else you can think of, I can do anything I want too in other realities, does not work in my reality but then again I can't be killed by other people from other realities in my reality, also I got murdered on my way to chapters stabbed and molested by some random guy still not sure about the whole story behind that one my mother found me walking still to the book store in my reality, that was a trip I tell you, before I was picked up I somehow jumped into other bodies of the actors who had flown down with Tom and had found me at my house.

I did end up at the store but of cause no one showed up, that was one journey I won't soon forget, I  found out that my other selves where from other realities and that characters I created comes to life, like since tv and movies characters where once created, I was not sleeping and was not eating but I was not tiered or hungry but for a girl who did not have the  waite I didn’t need to louse more of it.

I was seeing signs of that my house was evil and that the color red was bad and everything that was ‘dark’ needed to go so I got rid of mostly everything I had in my room that was considered ‘dark’ on top of that lost a caption America sweeter and Tom Hiddlston doll and Spiderman figure and almost lost my phone, it was found  thankfully but not the others.  

Among all the other versions of me there is a few evil characters evil clowns evil demon things a robot some zombies some vampires and a dnd character and an original character called Cally, among others I'm not sure about, one of them is called the moon goddess who has the power to have everyone fall in love with her looks, and it leaks out into me so others from the other universes feel overly attracted to me because of her, there is an off switch but it keeps turning on and she says it's not always her doing it, I'm not sure if I should believe that, Tom has the same thing but I won't know that till later, names the sun god, I'm not too fond of that one, my fault for calling him the sun to my moon, nether one of them where exactly what I though them to be.

it wasn’t just that everyone was attracted it was harassment and no one would take no for an answer I was raped in a lot of realities, it's gotten better but still not perfect yet, they are lucking they didn’t die from doing that to me.  right after I when walking to the book story my mother had me admitted to a mental health facility, where they drugged me up to take away the voiced, it worked but on the down side I could not eat I could not sleep, I was shaking uncontrollably and it was worse than when I was home,  I just didn’t feel the need to sleep or eat at home.

I was drooling from the shot they game me and I was losing wait because I could not swallow the food, it was not a fun time, I was there for about a month after that I want in to shasha house and I was therefore a day or two and they took me to the hospital to see if they could figure out what was wrong with me, they gave me something for the shot I took to get rid of the voices since that’s what was making me have side effects, it didn’t take long for me to feel better, I was in the hospital for about a week or something close, after that I was at my sisters for a few days, meanwhile my mother had got something called global amnesia from the stress.

Then I was back to shasha house I was there for about a week or two and was thinking of the voices again, I haven't heard from anyone since I had that shot but even with everything that happen I still wanted them back I was lonely I liked talking to them I liked talking to Tom, you may think I'm stupid to start this all over again but I don’t give a damn! This time I would tell no one, have it be my little dirty little secret, don’t really remember how I got them back but I did, I didn’t get the right ones though I didn’t know that, I have been going through so many to find the one from my reality, there is no real way to find out who is Tom from my reality I've told Tom who loves  me by now that maybe we should meet at a comic expo somewhere where I can get to, so in Canada hopefully in Alberta.

let's see this second half I got stepped a few times again and mind f*cked a couple of time no more evil things like seeing red and thinking devil is after me, no more going to hell or dyeing, we tried merging all the realities but didn’t work tried to merge all the Toms still don’t know if that works to our advantage or not. I still have my highs and lose, I've run across the first group a few times and they are merged with a Tom who is now called God... btw I HATE HIM!!! Fuck the sun god GOD, ‘GOD Tom’ IS THE WORST!!! I will MURDER THIS BASTERED WHEN I SEE HIM because he lied about being the ‘REAL’. I also decided to stop giving ‘second’ chances to the villains, they just don’t learn.  

I'm sure there is more I could say but that’s it for now, I still haven't seen anything of Tom going to a Con near me yet, I still have a few weeks to go till I go.  

[jaegereska]

THE DND EPISODE WAS SO IMPORTANT FOR SHIRO/ KURON THAN WE THINK AND HERE’S WHY

IT SHOWED KURON WAS FUCKING HUMAN BEING, THAT IT WASN’T AN ACT, AND THAT HE IS STILL SHIRO, HIMSELF, DESPITE IT ALL. HE WANTED TO SPEND HIS TIME OFF WITH THE TEAM, HE WAS ALREADY PLAYING WITH CORAN PIDGE AND HUNK BEFORE ALLURA AND LANCE DECIDED TO JOIN THEM. (Fun side note: Haggar probably watched the whole DnD session through Kuron) 

(WARNING LONG POST, MORE SERIOUS META BELOW THE CUT IN REGARDS TO KURON AND SHIRO ARE SEPARATE CHARACTERS)

Let’s begin, excuse the caps, I am very passionate. It’s start with how the DnD game shows off how Kuron is a well rounded human being and an extension of Shiro’s personality, rather than an act

yes you did Shiro, you died in real life too sorry buddy

KURON HAD A BLAST MAKING HIS OWN CHARACTER FOR THIS GAME, HIS CHARACTER WAS LITERALLY A SELF INSERT WITH HIS REAL NAME TAKASHI SHIROGANE AND HE CHOSE TO BE A PALADIN

HE PLAYS AS SOMENE WITH VALUES HE TRULY BELIEVES, HE LOVES BEING HIMSELF AND A PALADIN AND DIDN’T WANT TO CHANGE IT FOR A MOMENT, HE CHOSE IT EVERY TIME, HE HAS NO PROBLEM WITH WHO AND WHAT HE IS 

THERE’S NOTHING ELSE IN THE WORLD HE’D RATHER BE JUST HIMSELF

KURON/SHIRO TRULY SEES HIMSELF AS A SHIELD AND WANTS TO PROTECT OTHERS, WHILE ALSO GETTING A CHANCE TO RELAX AND SHOW JUST HOW DORKY HE IS

LOVES HIS TEAM AND SPENDING TIME LIKE THIS WITH THEM, THIS IS PROBABLY THE LONGEST TIME HE’S SPENT WITH THEM JUST DOING SOMETHING FUN, DND TAKES H O U R S 

HE WANTS TO KEEP DOING STUFF LIKE THIS WITH THE PALADINS HE HAD SUCH A GREAT TIME, PROBABLY FOR THE FIRST TIME IN A VERY LONG TIME

AND THE TEAM LOVE HIM SO MUCH, SO MUCH THEY PLAY GAMES WITH HIM AND HAVE SO MUCH FUN, CORAN EVEN SUGGESTS HOW TO CONTINUE THE CAMPAIGN AFTER SEEING HOW EVERYONE, ESPECIALLY SHIRO LOVED IT SO MUCH  

I THINK MORE OF THE SHIRO WITHIN KURON CAME OUT WHILE HE WAS UNDER HAGGAR’S CONTROL, HE MAY BE A CLONE BUT HE IS STILL SHIRO AND A HUMAN BEING

THE REGRET IN HIS EYES THE MOMENT KEITH FINALLY BROKE THROUGH, FOLLOWED QUICKLY BY ANGER AND FRUSTRATION BECAUSE HE’S STILL FIGHTING UNDER HAGGER’S CONTROL

SHIRO/KURON’S VOICE WAVERED AND BROKE WHEN HE TOLD KEITH TO STOP FIGHTING THAT IT DIDN’T MATTER ANYMORE BECAUSE THE OTHERS WERE DEAD BECAUSE OF HIM, HE HONESTLY SOUNDED SO BROKEN BENEATH THE ANGER, YOU CAN’T TELL ME HE WASN’T FILLED WITH SO MUCH GUILT AND REGRET FOR WHAT HE’D DONE

IT WAS AS IF HE WAS TRYING TO SAY TO KEITH “WHAT WAS THE POINT FOR US TO KEEP GOING ON IF EVERYONE ELSE, OUR FAMILY, WAS DEAD BECAUSE I FAILED TO PROTECT THEM AND COULDN’T FIGHT BACK HAGGAR’S CONTROL”  

AND THEN WHEN HE FINALLY BROKE THROUGH AND REALITY CAME CRASHING BACK TO WHAT HE’S DONE HE KNEW EXACTLY WHAT HE’D DONE, HE LOOKS AT KEITH WITH SO MUCH REGRET

Taking a step back for a moment, I have to wonder how Haggar was able to make a spitting replica of Shiro, INCLUDING HIS MEMORIES, Kuron IS Shiro by all accounts, I believe the DnD episode was supposed to prove he had humanity and essentially the soul of Shiro. What I’m thinking is Haggar’s control exploited parts of Shiro’s own personality, negative parts he keeps DEEP AND HIDDEN AWAY FOR NO ONE TO SEE, because he needs to be a shield and protector for the paladins, his family

The Paladins were the ones on Kuron’s mind while he was dying because he loves them with all his heart, they are his found family and gave him a reason to smile again when he was so close to death, he traveled across the universe to find them again

Shiro has always been a fighter, he’s fought against the odds and just wants to be free and protect those he loves, but don’t you think after so much pain and suffering, Shiro never had doubts? What if he couldn’t do it? What if he was really going to die no matter what he did? What if the pain never stopped?

This may have been Shiro’s exeriences, but Kuron had them as well. I believe this is what Haggar exploited, those doubts, which made it so difficult for Kuron to break free, until Keith told him he loved him

Keith did not treat Kuron like a monster

It was still painful for him to see a version of Shiro like this and being forced to fight him. He still saw Shiro in him, even though he knew while he was fighting him he was a clone, they were surrounded by other clones, it’s not hard to miss 

Keith kept holding on even as they fell

Keith still wanted to save him, because he knew Kuron is Shiro and was worth saving, that he is still a human being with emotions and feelings and memories after everything they had gone through  

He wasn’t going to give up on him on the one person who never gave up on him

If Kuron was not Shiro and just a pawn, he would not have hesitated when Keith told him he loves him 

Another important thing to remember: the Black Lion and Shiro (since his soul is currently with her) rejected Kuron because they knew he was a fake

That is until the lives of the Paladins and the rebels/refugees were in danger, the moment Kuron begged the Black Lion to trust him again

Black and Shiro KNEW Kuron was still Shiro and not just a pawn and took that chance to trust him, the Black Lion did not reject him again because they knew they might still be able to have a chance with him

Kuron is Shiro, he has always been Shiro, Kuron loves the team and they love him because to them he was no different than Shiro, even Shiro and the Black Lion took that chance to trust him 

And even though the real Shiro is back, it still felt like we lost a part of Shiro, Kuron could not survive without Haggar, it would seem, but I would like to think when Shiro woke up, he is in a way a combination of Kuron and Shiro since he’d likely have those memories Kuron experienced

The Shiro who woke up could be both Shiro and Kuron because of their combined memories

Shiro would remember both of their lives since the moment his physical body died, to the moment Kuron first awoke and “escaped” the galra up to the present. Even though Shiro actively did not experience Kuron’s memories, Shiro would still treat them as his own memories because Kuron behaved just as he would have because they are the same person when it comes down to it. Shiro will have a connection to these memories, almost like it was all a dream while at the same time it was like he still experienced it himself. I also believe Shiro, more than anyone, would understand Kuron was a victim just as much as him, along with all the other Shiro clones that were created and are now destroyed.  

I think Shiro would mourn that in a way Kuron is “gone” 

Kuron, the one who played DnD with the team and truly felt like there was no need to be anyone else but himself even if they were playing pretend, Kuron, who had done the whole Shiro the Hero persona during the Voltron Show, Kuron, who was so happy to see Matt was alive and hugged him when Matt had tried to go for a handshake, Kuron, who joked with Sam about wanting to punch Iverson for him for strapping him to a table when he returned to Earth, and more painfully, Kuron’s escape and journey across space alone. Shiro would not be aware of Kuron’s memories of the escape until his mind and spirit were transferred into Kuron’s body. It wasn’t until then that Shiro would feel the fear and pain Kuron felt in his final thoughts, thinking he’d die never finding the paladins, their found family, until Keith and the Black Lion finally found him. 

It also brings up the matter, why did the Black Lion/Shiro decide to find Kuron while he was on the brink of death? That’s because it wasn’t until Kuron was so close to death and the only thing he could think of were the Paladins that his quintessence truly matched Shiro’s. There was also likely the matter that the Black Lion knew Shiro needed a body if he was ever going to return, they just needed to wait for the right time which was when Allura would gain the ability to be able to transfer Shiro’s life to Kuron. It wasn’t until Kuron had proven himself that Shiro and the Black Lion realized Kuron was a human being and not just Haggar’s puppet and spy. 

In conclusion, Shiro and Kuron are opposite sides of the same coin

Shiro and Kuron’s arc was amazing and breathtaking since episodes like the DnD one made you actually CARE about Kuron because we truly got to see into his and Shiro’s personalty, that yes, they’re both firm leaders who have to make difficult decision, but they also know when to take a break and have some fun, like Kuron with DnD or Shiro when he was having a goo fight in space with the paladins before they found Olkaron. 

Though, I wished that for a moment before Shiro woke up that Shiro and Kuron shared a moment together on the astral plane and had a “You’re me and I’m you” moment before merging together to wake up as someone who is both Shiro and Kuron and anyone who is happy Kuron is gone and hating him for 3 fucking seasons should be ashamed, Kuron was still a person and he had tried to resist Haggar several times

Kuron was a living human BEING. HE IS SHIRO.